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#well im no longer responsible for your emotional state
imperiuswrecked · 1 year
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I've only ever asked 2 former online friends to not contact me after I wanted to go our separate ways due to irreconcilable differences and the first one circumvented my blocks at least 3 or 4 times to talk to me including sending me emails from 2 different email addresses after I refused to speak with them on tumblr/twitter/discord and each time I told them to leave me alone, that took place over a period of weeks.
The second one made a burner account to talk to me after I publicly asked them not to. I'm done talking. I'm done listening. I am allowed to restrict access to my person, my time, my emotions, my own mental health.
People need to respect boundaries others set down.
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starry-bi-sky · 2 months
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childhood friends danny and jason miscellaneous thoughts: because why not, i'm reworking ch2 because it no longer fits with the remaster of chapter 1 so i've been thinking of them, and i love talking about them. which you should totally go read the remaster because its 26k words and im very proud of it and it barely got any attention.
First off Ellie vapes. Mostly because I think its real fucking funny. The first time Danny finds out about it he gets all up in arms about it. Ellie at first thinks its because she's smoking -- which, helloooo pot meet kettle, Danny has been smoking for a lot longer than she has.
And then he throws a curveball at her and says he's upset specifically because its vaping. Like no, no. Dammit, if you're gonna fuck up your lungs you gotta do it properly, none of this cotton-candy flavored nonsense.
He plays it up for laughs and it's largely non-serious 'i can't believe you're using a vape', if only to hide the fact that he is genuinely displeased with his little sister smoking. Self-destructive behaviors and bad habits are his thing, thank you very much.
But, well, he knows he'd be a hypocrite if he told her he didn't like that she was smoking. He's aware its bad for him, but habits are hard to break and he's not particularly keen to break this one in particular.
Danny bullies her relentlessly about it whenever she vapes in front of him. Like don't be a loser, Elle, carry a carton of cigs and a lighter in your back pocket like the rest of us degenerates.
[more under the cut]
Secondly: Danny's piercings? He got the first lobe piercings as a lost bet from Sam in junior year, and they did it in her room with a needle, a small bottle of blood blossom extract, and an apple. He broke out in hives for a week after thanks to the blood blossom, but it prevented the hole from healing up :)
He got the rest done professionally at a piercing place in the Ghost Zone. He asked Johnny where to find it. Sam and Johnny (and Kitty) nearly convinced him into getting snakebites. He got an eyebrow piercing instead.
Danny's undercut is also self-done, he did it because Technus shot at him with an ectoblast and it missed hitting him, but set his hair on fire. Danny got it out pretty quickly, but it left his hair lopsided and obviously looking like it got burned by something. He went to Sam for help after the fight. He liked the way it looks so he's kept it that way since.
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Vlad brought up Jason once(1) in a taunt during a fight, and this was after Jason disappeared from the ghost zone, and Danny very. very nearly killed him on the spot. He hasn't done it since.
Which leads into the other thing: Grief Triggers! As I call them. All Banshees have them in this au.
While all banshees are, in general, in a permanent state of grief, Grief Triggers are a specific emotional response that can cause them to spiral into a state of intense, sometimes debilitating sorrow, and most of the time causes them to start wailing.
Banshees know what their Grief Triggers are and in general tend to try and build up a form of resistance against it so that, if something occurs that happens to trigger said grief, they can at least either get away from other ghosts to let loose or have enough control over themselves that it'll take more work to send them spiraling.
As expected, Jason is Danny's grief trigger. He's built up a pretty good resistance to it so that hey, talking about him and his death is easier than when Danny was fourteen. But a little more prodding and it will trigger, especially depending on who brings him up and how. (See: Vlad)
Grief Triggers also manifest relatively the same; with the induction of an intense state of grief and sorrow, but how a banshee acts on it can sometimes vary. Again, it depends on who triggers it and how. Some of them can get,,, violent, depending on how it happens.
Rath, this au's 'Dan', is a case of a banshee being put into the grief state caused by grief triggers and... never really leaving it. Which they usually do on their own, or with help depending on the severity of it.
At the time it happened Danny was going through the worst week of his life a second time: his best friend's ghost disappeared, then his family and friends all died right in front of him, and then he was stuck with someone who wasn't helping him through that grief.
He was already in the grieving state when Vlad tore out his ghost half. As a result, Vlad only made it worse. With that fury thrown into the mix, Vlad ended up getting torn apart and nobody else was close enough with nor could they get close enough to Rath to help him come down from the wailing state.
So Rath ended up getting stuck in a perpetual negative feedback loop of absolute misery, and well... drove himself insane. The rest of the world became collateral as a result.
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the difference between Danny and Jason lies in the fact that Jason died, while Danny is dead.
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I'm having more thoughts on the CFAU/TMWS universe banshees, actually.
Banshees are either born in the ghost zone from ectoplasm and are ecto-entities and work as banshees as how we know of them, or they're human spirits that died mourning someone and that grief was so intense that it turned them into a banshee. They're a little more rare.
These banshees typically mourn only one person, or sometimes they follow their Realm-born counterparts and choose a family to mourn for. Typically their own.
Ember is not a banshee; human spirit banshees are always mourning another person. However, her abilities emulate certain qualities of banshees: like the beautiful singing. But in comparison to an actual banshee, Ember's voice pales.
Does this mean Danny has the better singing voice? Yeah. Ember is incensed by this.
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If canon Danny and CFAU/TMWS Danny met, I think canon Danny would be kinda unsettled or off put by CFAU.
CFAU Danny still has some pretty core Danny traits, at least I like to think so -- his general drive to help people just out of compassion for them (even if it manifests differently at first due to trauma), his wit and humor, his fear of failing to protect his loved ones, all of those resonate with canon Danny.
However, canon Danny, as far as I can remember and as far as his wiki goes, rarely gets extremely angry or emotional. He gets irritated and he gets annoyed but him getting mad I don't think happens super often. CFAU Danny is the angrier one between Jason and Danny. It's one of the things I consider a division point between him and canon Danny as it's a result of him growing up in Crime Alley. Canon Danny is canonically shy and meek prior to becoming Phantom, CFAU Danny couldn't be -- he'd be dead already.
CFAU Danny's anger would off put canon Danny, in my opinion. His anger, his smoking, and for lack of a better term, his bloodlust would unsettle him.
Like, for example, say CFAU Danny gets transported to a canon (or canon-adjacent) Danny's universe. He's staying with canon for a little bit as they brainstorm how to get him back home, and CFAU Danny goes to school with canon if only so that he's not stuck in the house all day.
Whether they try and pass CFAU Danny off as canon's cousin or if the town already knows that he's another version of Danny, it doesn't matter. Because insert Dash.
Dash who, in CFAU Danny's world, has since learned not to fuck around with Danny or the other kids because Danny has long since asserted that he will beat his ass if he does. 'Fucking around' always predates the 'finding out', and Danny is happy to act as consequence.
(As my father told me (paraphrased) when I was a small child and full of uncontrollable anger: "there's gonna be a day where you're gonna hit someone, and they're gonna hit you back")
And canon Dash, who is used to canon Danny who kinda just takes it because it means that he won't target other people, would see CFAU Danny. He'd notice the resemblance between him and canon, immediately try and go "oh new target!", and try and bully him the same way he does to canon. And Danny "I am the consequences of your actions" CFAU Fenton, instantly throws hands.
Just, CFAU Danny is kind but he's also Gotham-raised and full of bite; he's meaner than canon is. He's more ruthless too, especially in his ghost fights. The ease of which he slips into violence would, imo, discomfort canon. CFAU and Canon would eventually get along though, they're not so different that they'd be in constant clash of each other.
(Canon Danny and Danyal Al Ghul however,,, thats another post LMAO)
#cw smoking#cw vaping#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dead on main au#childhood friends au#cfau#dpdc#ugh i could have made this two parts probably#i've had a lot of thoughts on banshees in this au and how i could adjust them#what i didn't get into: the ghostly behavioral affects that danny has gone through since dying. the ghostly mood swings and#heightened emotions that he's had to work through for the last five years.#one of my favorite lines in the remaster is danny mentioning offhandedly that he's gotten better at his mood swings ever since being a ghos#but also implying that vlad has been on the receiving end of these mood swings before and it didnt end well for him#like yessss gurl go through permanent irrevocable changes of your physiology and psyche that has ultimately altered you from the person you#used to be. you are now no longer fully human yess gurl pick up those habits and behavioral changes that is common in the species you've#been turned into even if its only halfway.#iirc i don't think i included obsessions in this au and checking the remaster doc and the word doesn't show up once in all 26k words of it#so hey looks like we get this instead#danny's singing voice is permanently ingrained in my head as sounding like hozier#its very very funny to imagine my au dannys meeting canon danny or canon adjacent danny#cfau seeing dan: who tf is that?? | canon: um.. dan? our evil alternate future self? | cfau: THATS your evil future self??#canon: yeah?? does yours not. look like that? | cfau: NO?#look if dan saw rath he would do a doubletake is all im saying and then would go “what the fuck what the fuck what the fUCK”#turning rath into a horror movie abomination is the fun part of this au and he's never even gonna show up#jason died but danny is dead. it lies in the past and the present. the was and the is. one of us got up and the other didn't
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easy-revenge · 1 year
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Hii
So many people are calling Himeno a groomer and pedophile. What are your thoughts?
hellooo
oof.
ive seen the hate and slander for himeno on all platforms first hand. let me get some things out of the way first:
i do not defend himeno, nor her actions regarding denji. there is no defending that. it is what it is.
i can speak more on what ppl target her for though, bc i think its interesting.
(DISCLAIMER: opinions, in this case mine. no one has to agree with me. i have a lot to say but if you're not willing to listen and don't care about my pov, kindly move past this post. thank u)
the vast majority of ppl hating her that ive seen and/or interacted with online always find a way to get aki involved into the conversation. that's bullshit and i wanna speak on it before i touch on anything else.
aki is around 22 years old.
there is a tiktok here from one of my fav creators breaking that one down since a lot of ppl misread his introduction scene and thought he was 19:
with that said and done, there is nothing weird about aki and himeno whatsoever (ive seen ppl hate her for getting him into smoking which, ig fair, but lets be real for a sec and realize that even not knowing the spoilers, its pretty safe to assume that lung cancer is not what's gonna take them out). aki was around 19 when they met, which makes him a minor, but there was no hints whatsoever about himeno liking him until later on.
she didn't "watch him grow up" or "groom" him. she is in love with him in the present, when they are both of age. she knows aki has feelings for makima and doesn't cross any boundaries as we see both her and aki are comfortable being close with each other and initiating contact.
with the aki bullshit done, let's go back to the real thing: denji.
again, what himeno did to denji is inexcusable. there is no way around it. the fact that she was drunk doesn't serve as an excuse bc she still very much is the adult in the room and should've been more responsible.
i want to however talk about the terminology.
groomer.
a groomer is someone who builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them.
^ this is copy pasted from a dictionary. ring a bell? yes, that's literally makima.
himeno on the other hand did none of those things to denji. her offering him a kiss was more of a joke than anything else (plus she didn't know he was 16 back then) and she never had an ulterior motive for getting close to him.
im actually fairly certain that ppl call her a groomer more regarding aki than denji bc aki is the one she's known for a longer time and has had an effect on. i won't go back into this. utter bullshit. aki is not a child and himeno is not manipulating him. next.
the pedophile allegation is a bit of a rougher one to talk about. himeno initiated this playful flirting with denji at the start of the eternity devil arc, not knowing his age. she said explicitly right after that she "loves teasing boys" which implies that it was more a joke than anything else and considering that we proceed to get numerous flashbacks that let us know how deep her relationship with aki is and how genuine her feelings for him are, we can safely assume she does not give a fuck about denji.
the actual act that brought on the "pedophile" term happens when she is drunk. this, again, does not excuse her but i think can speak volumes about her state of mind. we know she gets extra flirty when she drinks and by the time the kiss happens she's tried to outdrink makima which means she's literally hammered. she is also drunk, significantly less but still, when she finds out denji's age. we know she is present enough for that info bc she remembers it the next morning when she brings it up, but again i dont think processing and comprehending information works just as well when you're half a dozen draft beers in. i dont have something more solid to say about this besides: she was really drunk and made some really bad choices bc she is irresponsible, flawed and generally messy as a person.
i dont feel comfortable calling her a pedophile. it doesn't ring that true to me. i dont think she is genuinely attracted to denji or would want to have sex with him while sober.
she knows it was wrong the next morning and she brings it up. that also shows that sober and with a clear mind she doesn't feel the same way.
the act itself is still horrible and inexcusable, but i think her thought process matters when it comes to assigning terms to her.
at the end of the day, i cant fight the ppl who do call her a pedophile. she did in fact attempt to have a sexual encounter with a minor. end of story. i mostly went into depth about this to talk about the aki thing bc it keeps popping up.
as for me, i choose to not erase her entire character over that one scene and reduce her to what ppl see her as. her arc is very well-written. SHE is very well-written. i keep recycling my words from my other posts but i think she is a perfect reflection of the universe she is in. we know she drinks and numbs everything out. we know the kind of dependency she has when it comes to aki and how it can cloud her judgment. she is very messy as i said and fundamentally flawed. but i loved seeing a broken character.
in a series like csm where denji can get cut in half and get back up to fight, its important for me to have characters like her to make u rly feel the impact of living in a world like this.
also the easy revenge storyline was dope as shit.
that's all about my thoughts on this, ive beem wanting to articulate them for a while, thank u for giving me the chance !!
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rinja-espurr · 1 year
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remember when I said that im gonna make a post with a bunch of headcanons about like, ONE specific pokemon at some point?? yeah im doing this now and this pokemon is nihilego and im full of headcanons everything is under the cut because I have SO MANY headcanons to talk about also i keep switching between using it/its and they/them to nihilego so i guess they’re an they/it now
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While nihilego’s whole body is full of neurotoxin, some parts of its body have a more concentrated amount of it. The darker parts on this sketch indicate a more concentrated amount of neurotoxin, while lighter parts indicate a less concentrated amount of it. Even the completely white parts still have the neurotoxin
Despite having the most concentrated amount of neurotoxin in its bell, they don’t usually sit on a new host’s head immediately, unless in an immediate danger to nihilego itself. Most of the times, they inject the neurotoxin with the front tentacles first, and only after some time latch onto the host’s head
When nihilego does latch onto a host’s head, the effect of neurotoxin becomes MUCH stronger than before, but is still not immediate
While in most cases any contact with nihilego means you are going to be injected with neurotoxin and (most likely) become its new host, there are cases in which the body can get completely rid of neurotoxin by itself. This happens if the person feels a very strong emotion of fear after being injected, which happened to Guzma. Those cases are extremely rare, since most people won’t feel as if anything’s wrong while being injected
If you’ve been injected with nihilego’s neurotoxin, it’s nearly impossible to get rid of it by your own choice. If you’ve JUST been injected with it, the changes to your mind and emotions are very subtle and you wouldn’t think much of it, but the longer you’ve been under it’s effect, the effects are getting stronger and it gets very hard to resist the neurotoxin, feeling the extreme excitement and lack of inhibition. It feels like you don’t want this feeling to end. And it’s very convenient for nihilego itself! Easier to just have one host than to search for another one
Even if the person doesn’t notice that they are being affected by nihilego, other people, especially the ones who have known that person for a long time, can easily notice the changes in the person’s behavior. If asked about this, nihilego’s host may react with a violent response. In order for this to happen, nihilego suddenly injects a host with a big amount of neurotoxin. It does not want the host to listen to the other person as it doesn’t want to lose a host in result
Nihilego affect’s the person’s ego, basically “feeding” on it. Losing their ego, the person becomes obsessed with nihilego, even to the point of forgetting their own needs, such as eating or sleeping. ESPECIALLY sleeping, not just because of that, but also because of the constant feeling of excitement. Their emotions aren’t very stable either. Most of the times they will sleep either if their organism just can’t take it anymore, or they have a pokemon in their team that knows a move that sets a sleep status condition
Due to the effects of the neurotoxin, the host loses the feeling of self-preservation, not even understanding that some of the things are dangerous now
The longer the host is under the effect of nihilego’s neurotoxin, the more their facial expression changes as well. Their speech gets more incomprehensible and chaotic. The eyes turn more yellow, even if they are not fused with nihilego. The body is constantly shaking and twitching
The host doesn’t really feel any pain from the injection of neurotoxin, but that is mostly because their mind just can’t comprehend it anymore, being in this state
Ultra Deep Sea’s air is ALSO full of nihilego’s neurotoxin, but not as much as nihilego’s body - being there for a short amount of time isn’t really dangerous, but you can feel that it’s harder to breathe here. However, if the person is ALREADY a host of nihilego, this place will even feel... Comfortable to them, and the air would feel fine to them (since they are already full of neurotoxin)
Nihilego usually only fuses with a host in a situation of immediate danger to nihilego (even if the danger is “losing a host because other people have came here to get this person back”, like in sun/moon), injecting EVEN MORE neurotoxin into the host’s body, making the person’s mind a complete mess while being fused with them
During a fusion, the host will most likely NOT attack by themselves, not wanting to harm nihilego in any way (which is how I explain the “why don’t we fight Lusamine herself in the ultra space”)
The attack from a specific pokemon such as solgaleo or lunala CAN briefly cleanse the person’s body of some of the neurotoxin, but you need full medical attention to fully get rid of it, and even afterwards you will still experience some possible side effects. I am not entirely sure if it’s possible if the person has been affected by it for TOO long, though
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Crushing companions react to Sole dating a toxic s/o who doesn't treat them right
Maccready
"You're not listening! I never said I hated them; I just said if the bar was any lower you'd be playing frickin' limbo!"
Oh boy when Mac argues he gets red in the face and has zero filter. Everything he's thinking comes out and he's usually left with a massive mess to clean. This time is no exception. He'd watch their expression harden before they'd turn on their heels leaving him with a blank expression on his face. He didn't like the way their s/o treated them, but in that moment Mac was no better.... shit he had to fix this.
Hancock
"I don't like they way they talk to you brother/sister.... they're startin' to sound an awful lot like Finn did and... uh well we know how that ended...."
He'd try to keep he's tone neutral and devoid of emotion, but even he could hear the anger behind it.... he just wanted the best for sole... Hell, thats why he hadn't asked them out in the first place, but shit, even he was better than this loser! Sole opted to ignore him minus an annoyed huff as they made their way out of the state house to go after their sorry excuse of a lover leaving him there to contemplate all of his life's choices... fuck he had it bad, and this situation sucked.... he was really between a rock and a hard place here.
Cait
"Don't let them talk to ya like that! Especially not when they're supposed to love ya. Ya shouldn't take that type of shite. find someone better. Do better."
If soles not careful Cait really will beat more than some sense into their lowsey s/o..... if they can't/ won't do better Cait will make sure things are made right one way or another
Danse
"I really don't understand what on earth you see in them. They treat you like Maxson treated me when the matter of my identity was found out.... You stood up for me then, but are angered at me trying to do the same for you now? Your judgment is clearly clouded Sole."
He'd speak with a harsher tone than he meant, ears adorning a crimson hue as he spoke. Feelings weren't something he usually discussed, but he couldn't justify keeping these thoughts to himself any longer. Sole would offer some harsh words back in response telling him where he could shove his opinions, and it then became clear to him... perhaps their judgment is clouded but its clouded by emotions... he'll never be able to get through to them while they were this emotional. he needed to give them time to cool down.... he needed time to cool down himself. This pointless bickering wasn't getting them anywhere, and that's exactly what he'd tell them before excusing himself to clear his head.
Curie
"They are joking yes? They do not mean it when they say such awful things to you? They surely can't. You are amazing and wonderful! Why would they be so cruel?"
Curie doesn't understand how anyone could treat the person they are supposed to love the most like that! She'd be very disturbed by soles s/o's behavior
Deacon
"Hey pal.... whatcha feelin' after that.... Im here to listen judgment- and opinion free if you need.... I uh- I just want you to be happy is all"
Uncharacteristicly sweet and sincere for Deacon sure, but he's just struggling with knowing he can make them happier that this loser, and understanding and respecting their own freedom and choices even if he disagres... but for now he'll be what he'd want someone to be. He'll listen and offer a shoulder to cry on until they decide what they want. If they tell him to drop, he will begrudgingly do so.... he'd rather be there for them when it all implodes then hurt them more by bringing his feelings into it and possibly lose them for ever. He will absolutely keep tabs on their shitty s/o keeping his ever watchful eyes open for any slip up on their part.
Piper
"Who the hell do they think they are!? No one talks to another human that way, let alone their lover, let alone you!"
Everyone's seen piper pissed off about one thing or another... it's not an uncommon occurrence, but what was uncommon was the way her fists were clenched at her sides and how she was visibly shaking with anger.... Hopefully sole was ready to talk about it, because no way was piper gonna back down anytime soon... and if they weren't... well piper would still go off on her rant to angry to read their face an realize she was hurting them before they stormed off with visable tears in their eyes... in retrospect maybe more yelling wasn't what they needed...shit.
Nick
"I've had a lot of cases end in a lovers quarel gone wrong.... not saying thats gonna happen to you sole.... all I'm saying is your tiptoing the line and I'd hate to see you cross it... especially when I care about you so much"
It's true he has seen a lot of shit like this unfortunately... and he knows how hard it is to leave... he just hopes sole can be brave enough to do it... heaven knows he'll be there for em every step of the way. but it would appear they weren't ready to hear all that as they gave him a death glare before letting him know that they weren't a helpless idiot... he hadn't meant to start a fight, heck he didn't think they even meant to start a fight they were just hurting, so instead he opted to grab his coat and leave the agency and them behind to go have a much needed smoke.... might seem cold, but there's no point in pointless fighting... especially not with the person he cared about most in this world.
Preston
"Are you okay? ya' know if you ever need to talk....."
He wouldn't know what to say. His words all falling flat. Why did their s/o talk to them that way? Why did he feel so useless in helping them. He wanted more than anything in that moment to just comfort his friend and make everything magically better, but he know it didn't work that way.... why did everything always have to be so complicated?
X6-88
"Ma'am/Sir I know very little about intimate relationship, but this piece of vile wastland scum is below you"
He wouldn't hold back, but he also wouldn't delve any further into his opinion if sole made it obvious they weren't hearing it.... though should their s/o mysteriously disappear....
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cydie · 2 months
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the state this relationship is
the state that you've acknowledged it is in
the contributions you've taken full responsibility and accountability for
the effect you've recognised verbally
////
the standalone situation:
we tell each other about our days, lying in bed together after work. we both have a headache and are both tired. you know im suffering more than usual today because i told you. i know you have a headache.
i say i want to take a nap, but i also recognise that neither of us have eaten and if i take a nap now it's just going to be a sleep.
you say let's take a 30 min nap, if we're both napping then ill be accountable for getting back up too
i say i won't nap, bc i won't want to get up again
you say ok well i will set a timer and nap and get up after
timer goes off
you don't wake up
timer rings for over 10 seconds
you get up, pick up your phone and turn it off.
you go back to sleep.
i don't say anything bc maybe you've set a second timer
20 minutes later i check your phone
there's no timer
I set 1 for 1 minute
it goes off, you're awake
it takes you 10 minutes to even fully open your eyes
i start getting impatient
i say "if you wanted to sleep you could have just said so instead of telling me the opposite"
you don't respond, you are fighting to be awake
after another 10 minutes of underminimal response i get annoyed
"im no longer sleepy bc i thought you were getting up so i stayed up so we could eat together
now i get to be upset and im not allowed to be because you have a headache"
you say "i told you i had a headache, i would've thought you would be more understanding"
i say "this is exactly what i mean"
you start getting annoyed at me. you say "we're going to have to reschedule this conversation because i don't want to say anything mean"
i start getting more upset
you start getting more defensive
i say "my feelings are only valid the next day"
you say "i can't help you with that"
context:
you often don't communicate what you actually want and instead promise something you can't deliver
this always leads to disappointment and every time it happens it feels like I'm feeling the weight of every single other time it's happened because of how long it's gone unaddressed
how i feel about you and sleep is that you sleeping is used against me so you sleeping through alarms and conveniently foregoing any prior commitments is a common pain point for me
you getting mad at me because im upset by something you did is also a common pain point and im always left to wait until it's been at least several hours for you to be open to acting like im not the villain. this has left me with ptsd about expressing emotions bc it won't get addressed and ill have to deal with being the bad guy for the next however long it takes for you to stop being a cold wall
how ive told you this can be fixed:
acknowledging the situation and verbalising that you're not doing this because you don't love me
reminding me that just bc youre mad does not mean that you don't love me
still treat me with love and respect
how you're being rn is not a reflection of how you feel about me
remembering that i have no qualms about putting chats on hold and coming back to things and the only thing stopping me from feeling like i can settle down is your aggression
remembering that your emotions are still valid and real without taking it out on me or exhibiting it in a hurtful way
when i first got upset and said "if you just wanted to sleep you should have just said"
responding by acknowledging, apologising/validating, and then reminding me that you love me, you have a headache, and you do want to sleep
is all that needed to happen to stop the situation from escalating
bc the bid had been answered
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major-721 · 7 months
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Hey!
I don’t know if you ever check this blog anymore but if you do I’d LOVE to hear more about your bipolar Ben headcanons? I’m bipolar and it never occurred to me but IM SO HERE FOR IT.
hi! yeah, i don't use this blog anymore, i mostly just keep it as an archive in case someone wants to find something, since i've got a decent amount of harder to find posts saved on here.
as for ben being bipolar—i haven't watched the show in a while, so i am probably not the best person to ask about headcanons, and i unfortunately cannot dig through my old dms and find the things i said without going through a lot of messages given tumblr messages don't have a search function. that said, i can give you some general reasons i think he's bipolar, and some specific canon highlights i can remember—as the show goes on and ben is given a greater position and greater responsibilities, he becomes more and more harsh towards those around him and begins to split the world and people into extremes—one of the best examples of this being the arc where caleb is captured and tortured by simcoe, and, understandably, comes back incredibly traumatised..........and rather than try and support his closest friend like he would have in s1 (in my opinion, anyway), he essentially gets upset at caleb for becoming useless, because he can't see beyond his own goals and to the people who are hurt in pursuit of them.
that's just a very short off the cuff of what i can remember saying................two and half years ago, now, i think? i will toss in that i think he's type two with psychotic traits and mixed episodes, though probably no rapid cycling given that his emotional states seem to hold for longer than rapid cycling would cause. also i think probably post-canon when he's under less stress things even out somewhat, as well as with age, and he learns how to cope with his mental health issues now that he really has no good reason to ignore them. repairing his relationships would be a very long process, especially with caleb, but i do think it's possible.
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wa-kaizen · 2 years
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as your mutuals and donors like to reply to your anons, can they please let me know if they are financially stable, have no debt, have savings, did all their repairs and medical treatments and paid easily for it, simply have more money than they need and about how much they donated to you or regularly donate to others in comparison to their savings? i know that is private, but i assume that all the people who donate money are like me, they also are in debt and would also need money for important things they cant afford but they simply have good hearts and cant watch others suffer, yet they themselves would never dare to even ask for help or donations or money. i want to know if i am doing it wrong by giving to others when i myself would need donations or if i am the typical person giving money when i need money myself? pls no talk about how people asking for money say do not donate if you are not rich. to me basically that means rich, having more money than you need. so, do all the people reading this who donate fit that definition? do you all have more money than you need and im just the odd one out who is stupidly good? i myself would need at least 3,000 for a long overdue and important medical treatment. so why do i donate instead of asking for donations? i helped someone else with 2,300 and ended up in trouble with my own bills, yet did not ask for donations and instead sold some of my poor person things for a few bucks each to keep my account alive. please, tell me why i have to feel bad about not donating my life away while nobody gives a damn if i live or die??
Hello anon, thank you for opening up and being vulnerable, I appreciate that, and also that you sent an ask instead of just disappearing. I cannot tell you the financial life of my sweet mutuals, of my donors or of my friends, it's something very private and disrespectful to ask - I am not saying you are in the wrong though, I understand you are emotional -, but! I can promise no one sent that huge of an amount, I wouldn't even accept a donation that big. You are not the odd one out, I have gotten donations as little as 1$, which I really appreciate. I never spent any of them on anything else other than necessities, I only asked for donations because that was my only way out, I did too try to sell things.
Either way, I am sorry that your big heart was used that way, that someone pressured you into donating that big of an amount. No one should be pressured into giving more than they can. I don't know what treatment you need, but it must be really hard to bear with. I hope the universe will help you out on that department of your life. I do "give a damn" if you are alive or not - you are a human being. A very selfless one at that right? Clearly, some people take that as a sign to manipulate you, but I promise I do not. I understand your pain and frustration, no one likes to be used. I understand the responses are overwhelming - but I don't like to shut off the voice of other's, that's why I don't shut off yours either. However, we - at least I - don't think you are a bad person. We are just confused because your claims were sudden and false, because before no one had a problem with donations. I don't blame you, if anything, it's just sudden.
However I would like to offer you some things that we can do to work on your pain together.
A) I can pay you back. I don't know the amount you donated, you would need to text me for this, and depending on how much you did the longer it would take. I have 0$ on my bank account, and my paypal as well. I am a very poor person. That's why your command weights on my shoulders heavily. However, we can always work on something to get you your money back.
B) I can set up a donation page for you. I can't promise you will get the exact amount you wish, or that it will be fast, but I am willing to do it for you. I will clearly state the donation is for you, give a link to your paypal - or whatever you prefer -. I will also keep you anonymous if you wish. I know asking for donations might be a hard thing for you, but you can do that through me alright? I promise a lot of people would care for you, even if it might not look like that. This world is lonely, but we can always change that.
C) You can just text me, and we can talk it out, set boundaries and see what happens next alright?
This stands if we have texted before, or if we are complete strangers, it stands even if our interaction was negative, but also if it was positive. I will not shame, judge or harm you in anyway, I am not mad at you and I don't look down on you. I just see you as a good person in a vulnerable state of mind. I will never publish any of your private information, your user and anything you might be anxious about. It's fine anon, we can always talk, you don't have to be in pain alone.
I know revealing your identity to me might be hard, but it will change nothing on my behaviour towards you. Have a great day/night.
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How about yandere TC meliodas but a soulmate au where him and the s/o( Fairy and goddess hybrid who fights for stigma) both share a connection to each other, from sharing emotion, to having vision of where they may meet for the first time. This seem like a nice concept, I imagine meliodas is use to constantly feeling pain from training all the way to fighting the war only to have a s/o who is yet to meet him but is willing to send over positive emotion and feeling to make him feel better. Im sucker for this kinds of things.
Oh hell yes, I love soulmate aus! Which is why it got a bit longer than what I normally write (and took so long lol)
Yandere TC Meliodas with soulmate darling
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For as long as you can remember there had been a second layer to your emotions that you couldn`t quite grasp, let alone influence. It was just barely there, almost unnoticeable.  Annoyance, nonchalance and a deep-rooted but hidden pain. After learning that those belonged to your soulmate, to the being your were destined to meet and love, you were baffled. Three emotions. A few feelings. Was that all they were capable of, or was that all they could allow themselves to? You mused that they felt your surprise and pity and hoped they wouldn`t connect the dots, they didn`t seem like the kind of person to appreciate such sentiments. Nonetheless you wanted to help. If they weren`t able to and didn`t have the opportunity to experience joy, wonder, excitement and a healthy amount of sadness and grief that one felt at ending a wonderful book with no continuation than you would have to do it for them. If they were hurt you could send them comfort and if they were bored you`d jump down a cliff if you must only to open your wings at the last second to send them a dose of mixed excitement and fear and laughter.
Meliodas had known of the concept of soulmates for as long as he could remember. Since then he had always been told that he wouldn`t need them, that demons barely needed their destined partner and only to allow any connection beyond the unavoidable should they be of the same race. He knew that something was wrong with that but in the end he didn`t care enough to do anything about that. So they felt what he did and at some point he`d know where you two would meet. Great. As long as they don`t get in his way and he can do what he must it`d be fine. 
He always knew that his range of sentiments were by far not the widest or the happiest but he would do. Meliodas had to. He had to be strong and cold and unfeeling. That did not seem to be the case for his soulmate, however. There were a mix of emotions constantly changing, most of them he hadn`t even experienced himself. They are a bother, he told himself and ignored it. He also ignored the twinge in his chest whenever they felt sad, ashamed or dispirited. Told himself that he was lucky that they weren`t sending feelings consciously, especially when he had to concentrate.
That changed. There was no warning, no prompting, nothing. Meliodas was about to go to sleep when they did it for the first time. They must have felt his exhaustion and either they thought he didn`t deserve to rest or wanted to spite him because the next thing he knew he felt adrenaline coursing through his veins and excitement erupting. Cursing he sat up, trying to calm his racing hearts and suppress that stuff. The emotions promptly calmed down and went into their normal, ignorable state though he could make out some guilt. For good measure he made his annoyance clear before flopping back down and closing his eyes. That didn`t stop a small and rather short lived smile from surfacing.
Was it your best idea? No. Did you think about what you were doing? No. You had felt your soulmate`s fatigue and seeing as it was the afternoon and they didn`t normally feel like that at this certain time you had assumed that they needed a bit of energy. Luckily, you had been sitting on a rather high branch and before you could think it through you had thrown yourself of from it. Upon their rejection though you had quickly stopped your little stunt and the idea that they had wanted to sleep crossed your mind. Ups. This had been the first time you had enforced an emotion and it had gone wrong. Hoping that their first impression of you could still be fixed you laid low for a bit. 
The next opportunity presented itself when you had discovered a beautiful small pond in the forest. It was surrounded by rich plant live and some ducks were swimming on it, the sunshine reflected and sparkled on the water’s surface. Deciding that now would be a good opportunity you checked on their emotions. There was no apparent change from normal so it should be fine. Carefully and a lot slower this time you let your admiration seep through to them and being encouraged by the response, which was nothing, you strengthened it, letting yourself enjoy the coolness of the water as you dipped your feet in. Sitting there you shared this feeling, the contrast of the warm light and the refreshing cold, the calmness of the forest, far away from the others and the silence only being broke by the wind and birds in the sky. With all the work you had been doing and the tense atmosphere of your partner the relaxation was welcomed with open arms. 
After this first successful interaction you continued, first about once a week and then once a day and soon simply whenever you felt like it. You were a bit disappointed that your soulmate never openly reacted but you had noticed that their feelings had calmed down and that was enough to keep you going. Having long ago realised that they were fighting in the same war, the suspicion and caution mixed with the occasional numbness, you assumed that they numbed their feelings in hopes of suppressing regret, you sent as much comfort as you could. It was gut wrenching whenever you noticed the impassivity but you did your best to help.
Meliodas grew used to it, over time. He even grew to like it, not that he`d ever admit it. Sensing your enforced emotions brought him joy and comfort, knowing that there was someone out there who cared. He sometimes felt guilty about not replying but what did he have to share? So he let the one sided communication continue. 
You always made sure to only strengthen positive emotions or small harmless sadness, just to let them know what you were feeling. This time however you feared that you had made a mistake. You were patrolling and you were careless. It was close to enemy territory but there hadn`t been an incident here and there was this beautiful flower in full bloom and you simply had to send your amazement. Doing just that you hovered over the flower, it`s sweet smell calming your mind. The next thing you knew was a sharp pain in your side as you moved away, away from whatever had slashed you. 
It was a small demon and you were quickly able to take care of it before healing your wound. Before you could investigate if there were any others you felt their worry. It was overwhelming. For the first time they openly enforced their feelings and it was intense enough that you couldn`t breathe for a moment. You noticed some anger interlaced, too, directed at what had harmed you, you noted. Quickly sending them your calmed frame of mind you searched for any other attackers and upon finding none you returned to report to one of the other goddesses.
Meliodas had been walking down a lonely hallway when you noticed the flower. Humming in acknowledgement he opened the door to his room and froze. Instead of admiration you seemed to be in pain. What had happened? Were you okay? His mind raced as he allowed himself to worry and let that worry reach you. The seconds were he felt your pain, surprise, resignation and caution were agony. After he was assured you were fine he sighed in relief. 
After the second time the demon decided that he should contact you more. After his initial worry had subsided he had become anxious. Not only could you be harmed at any time, he had no way of helping you, not without knowing who or where you were. He realised he didn`t know much of you. Was there someone who liked you beside him, someone you liked? He hoped not. You were his. You two were fated to be, no matter how stupid that sounded. However he had no real way of checking, so interacting with you like this had to be enough for now. He also grew more attentive of your passive emotions, not letting a single feeling pass his attention.
It is a well known fact that before you meet your destined other, you envision the place you will first meet. You had been waiting for that day for ages, knowing that soon after you`d finally meet them, your soulmate. They had been so much more communicative and their joy caused by interactions grew day by day. So when you opened your eyes in a supposedly dream and felt closer to them than ever before you knew that your encounter was drawing near.
The first thing you noticed were your surroundings which resembled a patch of woods just on the border to demon territory. It was cold and clouds hung deep over the sky, it was eerily silent. Not the most romantic, you decided, but whatever. Taking a closer look you noticed a figure approaching from the woods, across from you and the border. It was more of a shadow than anything, you could make out the rather small height but any other details didn`t quite seem to be comprehensive or noticeable. So this was them. You smiled, though you could guess that they wouldn`t see that with how they most likely perceived you in a similar way that you could view them. No words were spoken as you stood only meters apart, time seemingly frozen as all you could do was hope that you could stay like this for longer. Neither they nor you moved, fearing that otherwise the bubble would burst and the glass would shatter and you would wake up, more lonely than ever now that you were apart again. You couldn`t speak, somehow knowing that sounds would not travel far here, but you didn`t need to do that, as all you needed was your connection and bond as soulmates. Warmth, affection and joy swirled between you both and almost felt tangible, as if all you needed to do was reach out to drown in these emotions. 
When Meliodas found himself in a dream more realistic than any other he wondered what had happened. He wandered a bit before recognising the forest to be the one crossing the border that Stigma established and vehemently defended. Feeling a presence he followed the strange pull, coming across the figure hidden in shadows with wings that couldn`t have been a fairy`s or a goddess`s. Something else or something in between? He didn`t care. All that mattered was the sense of recognition. It was you. His partner. His destined other. His soulmate. His.
Only after waking up did he realise where exactly you both would meet. The verge on which enemies would meet to battle. Where blood was spilled in the constantly ongoing war. The perimeter seemed in tact though, so you at least wouldn`t meet directly on a battlefield. One thing he did know now, however. You stood on opposing sides, Demons against Stigma, darkness against light, him versus you. How cruel to put you so far away from him, Meliodas mused. But if he had to he knew who to betray and who to stay loyal to. 
You spend the next days searching for the exact place you two would meet, ignoring the suspicious stares and whispers about, oh, look, the hybrid is slacking of, no wonder. You wondered how they`d react to your soulmate who was undeniably on the opposite force of the conflict. You supposed one of you would have to switch sides and if you couldn`t convince them than you would have to do so. Though with how they ended up emotionally before you interacted you hoped they would agree with you. Even if the others were against it, the higher ups respected your hard work and if that didn`t work you`d ask Elizabeth, who always seemed hesitant about the war and disliked judging others no matter who they were, for help. 
Either way, you thought, being prepared wouldn`t hurt. After finally finding the place you hid a small bag full of important belongings and necessities in the trunk of the hollow tree along with a small gift you hoped your soulmate would appreciate. Following the thickening of your bond you had started to feel other and smaller sensations of them and while you were quite distressed with how often they seemed to fight, you couldn`t deny the feeling of joy when you drank a wine and instantly knew that they liked it, having had a faint taste of it. Hoping that this time you could enjoy it together you made sure the bottle was secure before heading of again.
Every time the weather was like the one in your vision, your and their hope grew and while you reached the place in no time, having memorised the way, they still hadn’t found it. Meliodas wished to fly over the forest but he had seen himself walking and knew that was the only way to get to you. So he wandered around, over and over and when he finally recognised a turn he followed the path eagerly. It took a bit to notice your presence, it being hidden seeing as anything else would be suicide so close to a hostile region. He rushed through the trees, his and yours excitement mixing and growing as you waited, peering through the woods in hopes of catching a glimpse, the first glimpse of the person you had grown to love.
The wind, his hearts and time itself stopped as he came to a halt in front of you. Your eyes were the first things he noticed, shining with a light that warmed him, overflowing with affection. You stared just as much, his black eyes turning into a beautiful shade of green as he lowered himself to the ground, his black wings disappearing from sight. You did the same, letting your feet touch the earth below you before moving one in front of the other. The grin on your face widened as he did the same and before you knew it he wrapped his arms around you.
“Hello“, you whispered. All former thoughts and ideas on your first words spoken to him seeming too far away to speak now, all you could do was great him. He was so warm, his arms protectively shielding you away from a world that was to cruel to a wonderful being like you, he decided, as he responded in the same manner. His hearts were finally beating again and were much faster now.  
“My name is Meliodas“, he added, chin comfortably resting on your shoulders, eyes closed and melting into your embrace. It felt so right to finally have you. You fitted perfectly into his grasp, his eyes fluttering open and a smile tugging on his lips as he heard your name. You were finally here, with him. Meliodas knew in this moment he could never let you go. He would follow you wherever you wanted to and destroy anyone that dared and try harm you, no matter the consequences, as long as he could be with you, the one who cared and comforted him, the one that was made for him and the one he was made for, his soulmate.
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oddaodd · 3 years
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· Nice Things ·
Summary: Charlie snaps at Y/n and Tommy feels guilty. 
Author’s Note: This completely materialized itself in my mind a few hours ago, so here you have it, another angsty arranged marriage fic on me. 
Warnings: arranged marriage
·
“I don’t want to eat them”
“Well you have to eat them, they are good for you” Y/n insisted for what seemed like the thousand time, but Charlie’s unwillingness to eat his vegetables didn’t falter.
Y/n grasped onto the bit of patience that she had left after putting up with Charlie’s sullen mood for the majority of the day after he had a particularly lousy violin lesson. She didn’t know how much longer her patience would last so she resorted to a harmless threat that she assumed would compel the boy to eat.
“If you don’t eat them you’ll be grounded tomorrow”
But her threat didn’t have the desired effect and Charlie sent Y/n a poisonous stare.
“I don’t care what you say, you are not my mum so you can’t ground me!”
Time froze as Y/n processed the words the boy had just spat at her, shock and hurt evident in her face. Charlie either didn’t notice or didn’t care about the consequence of his words because he got up from his chair and dramatically exited the room immediately after throwing them at Y/n.
She wanted to get up and yell at him to stay, to make him know that he couldn’t talk to her like that, but she felt to sad to do so, so she just let him leave.
“Shall I take away Charles’s plate miss” asked a maid in a timid voice.
Y/n nodded before standing up “Mine too, please.“
She left the room with bloodshot eyes and headed for the garden hurriedly. She was so focused on not letting her tears spill till she was I’m complete solitude that she nearly crashed against Tommy as he stepped out of his car. The moment he saw her eyes he felt a strange strain of sadness, he wanted to ask her what was wrong, but she pushed past him without a word.
He stared at her for a moment as she walked into the garden, wondering what had happened before going into the house and asking Frances about it.  
Y/N lit a cigarette and began roaming around the well kept flowerbeds, smiling weakly at the beauty of each bloom and leaf. She felt embarrassed that Tommy had seen her like that, not that she thought he would care, but still, she had never allowed herself to cry in front of him. Not when he coldly dismissed her every attempt to get closer to him, not when she felt agonizingly alone in his big house and not even when he kissed her passionlessly on their wedding day before signing a business arrangement with her family.  
Ever since she had moved into the house she had tried everything to make it feel like a home, to feel she belonged there somehow. She got along great with Charlie and the rest of Tommy’s family, which helped the burn of his cold demeanor not to hurt that much, but now she couldn’t get Charlie’s words out of her head and she felt pretty much as she did the first night she slept in the house. Alone and miserable.
When the sky turned dark and the air grew cold Y/n went into the house and up to the bedroom she shared with Tommy, not stopping at Charlie’s door to kiss him goodnight.
When she entered her room she was surprised to see Tommy sitting on their bed, smoking a cigarette. He was never in bed that early, but she didn’t let her surprise show and made her way to the bathroom avoiding his stare.
Tommy knew Y/n was a smart, kind and beautiful woman, one that any man would be lucky to call wife. Even Polly had told him so during his wedding party. And even despite not wanting to admit it, Y/n’s smile was contagious, and it pained him when it faltered at his usual curtness. Tommy hated that he knew it was breaking her. She didn’t deserve his indifference nor Charlie’s harmful comments.
He admired her through the ajar bathroom door as she went through her nightly routine which was something he had never cared to be around to witness, since he always procured to not be in the room until she was asleep. Her usual happy aura was replaced with a sad one and Tommy could swear he saw a few tears rolling down her reflection on the mirror as she delicately removed her makeup.
He could still hear Pollys words in his head “You better treat her right, she deserves it”
He had to make it right.
Y/n exited the bathroom and walked around the bed giving Tommy a brief smile before laying down, facing the opposite side.
“I spoke to Charles” he said after a few beats of silence.
Y/n hummed too exhausted to thread a verbal response.
“He won’t ever talk to you like that again and..”
Y/n’s shoulders shook softly at his words. The wound was still too fresh. Tommy sighed sadly, his emotions catching up to him for he knew she wasn’t crying just because of what Charlie had said.
He scooted closer to her and snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him hoping he hadn’t been to late to try and make things better.
Y/n felt the already tight knot in her throat tighten even more at Tommys rare tender act of affection. It was the first time he had ever done something of the sort and in Y/n’s emotional state, the importance of it increased significantly.
“Im sorry, Y/n” he spoke honestly, near her ear.
“Its not your fault” she said as her hand hesitantly went to hold onto Tommy’s arm, sinking into his embrace. Warm and welcoming and just what she needed.
“Yes it is, I am a shit husband and you’ve been nothing but nice, I am not used to nice things. I know you deserve so much better than this, and I’ll be better”
At his confession, turned around and looked into his blue eyes though her teary ones. They seemed honest and Y/n knew he meant what he said.
Tommy then took her hand and brought it to his lips pressing a kiss to it causing butterflies to swarm Y/n’s insides “I promise”
Y/n smiled at him weakly and brought her hand to his cheek tenderly, her thumb softly caressing tommy’s skin, something she had never gotten the chance to feel before.
“I know” she said before snuggling closer to him, feeling welcome in Tommy’s warm embrace for the very first time.
·
@captivatedbycillianmurphy @peakyxtommy @nyotamalfoy @writeroutoftime @babylooneytoonz
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yoooespinosa · 3 years
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please do a part 2 for the draco fic where he rejects her i cant be left like that also would love for them to end up together
a/n: I feel like its rushed, idk. I didn't even like how the first part came out, so I had no motivation for this one. Im sorry, I tried lmao.
here’s part 1
"Y/l/n!" A voice just a few ways down the corridor called, the person you've been trying to avoid.
You increased your pace, dodging the people around you and their swinging bags they carried. You knew he called you out in the middle of a crowded corridor because it would be harder for you to get away, which only multiplied your irritation.
"Y/l/n!" He called louder, sounding closer, only making you walk away faster.
"Y/n." He latched onto your wrist, once you escaped the crowd of students, you groaned in frustration.
"What, Malfoy?" Turning to him and yanking your arm free.
He looked taken aback that you actually acknowledged him, unlike the incidents before. He sputtered, you almost laughed in his face-- because, Draco Malfoy, sputtering? You've never seen that before.
"If you're just going to gawk at me like a weirdo," Already turning away. "then I think I'll take my leave."
"No!" He said a little too loudly. Lower this time "No, look, can we talk."
You pursed your lips, masking your face with the indifference that he normally carried himself with. "We don't have anything to talk about."
Once again, you turned away, managing to get four steps in this time.
“Look, can i just-“ He cuts himself off when your steps don’t falter. “Y/n, please.”
You immediately pause mid-step. He sounded, desperate. You let out a silent sigh, slowly turning to face him, his eyes were burning into yours once you met them.
You stare at him until he casts his eyes downcast. “I’m sorry.” He mumbles.
“What?” Your eyebrows furrow, surely he doesn’t expect you to accept that pitiful apology. “I didn’t hear you.”
“I’m sorry, okay?” He snaps at you, meeting your gaze once again.
You raise you eyebrow at him, unamused.
“I’m sorry.” Once again, more sincere this time.
Yet, you couldn’t find it in yourself to forgive him, not right now at least. You didn’t care if it took a lot in him to pack up the courage and apologize, you refuse to let Draco Malfoy walk all over you again. He’ll have to earn your forgiveness.
You stare at him blankly for a few seconds, his cheeks flush and once again looks away from you.
“I bet you are.” A mumbled response as you walk away from him, just like you walked away from him on the night of his rejection, yet this time you didn’t carry the burden of a broken heart.
Lotus flowers. He somehow got you a bouquet of lotus flowers, your favorite. You’re not sure how he even managed to do that, with such flowers, but he did.
You couldn’t deny the way your heart fluttered when you looked up and met his grey eyes, shining with hopefulness, a few ways down the slytherin table in the great hall.
You hadn’t talked to him in a few days and he hadn’t seeked you out, a part of you was a little disappointed, but now that feeling disintegrated.
You actually haven’t talked to the three other slytherins sitting around him either. They apologized too and you reluctantly accepted, but still chose to surround yourself with other people, people who wouldn’t laugh at you behind your back.
“He’s really trying, isn’t he?” Tracey Davis chuckled softly from her place next you, gazing at the beautiful flowers you held in your hand.
“I guess.” You mumble, pursing your lips in thought.
“Well, are you going to forgive him or carry it out a little longer?” Milicent asks, with a smirk adorning her face, you already knew which choice she’d prefer.
You smirk back at her before swiftly casting an incendio to the beautiful flowers, you only regretted it a little, but it was all worth it once you saw the look on his face.
His mask crumbled. Good, i’ll incendio his flowers like he did my heart, you thought bitterly.
The next advance he made was when you were next to your favorite window, in the abandoned corridor. The sun was close to setting, making a beautiful orange tint cast across the corridor.
You heard footsteps, each once coming closer to you and you immediately knew it was him. You had felt him staring at you all day, each one getting harder to ignore. Especially the ones that were burning through your skull when you were around Harry.
But you never gave him the satisfaction of meeting his eye. You completely ignored him, as if he wasn’t there, as if you he was easily dismissible.
“Y/n.” He calls your name once he reached you, voice obviously trying to seem casual.
A noncommittal hum was your response, not bothering to look up from the book you had on your lap, still casually leaning against the wall, basking in the orange rays that hit you.
“Y/n.” His voice was softer this time, softer than you’ve ever heard before, making your head snap to his automatically.
In his arms were a bunch of your favorite sweets, you weren’t sure how he knew which you preferred. You raise your eyebrow in question.
“I know how you like to snack.” He mumbles, laying down the foods next to you, he rambles on. “I know you usually like to watch the sun go down by the black lake, but since it’s colder out i knew you’d be here. You were always the type that liked to snack a lot— i already said that, sorry...i brought your favorites.” He looked at you sheepishly.
You never seen him look so... shy. You were stumped, didn’t even know what to say. You just stared at the food next to you for a minute.
“Thanks,” You say slowly, still trying to process. “How did you know these were my favorites?”
He shrugged, half-heartedly. “I paid attention.”
You scoffed, that same bitter feeling washing over you for a second. “Honestly Malfoy, these attempts at getting at me are getting more pathetic each time.” You reused his words.
Regretting it immediately, when he flinched. Looking pained by it. You wanted to enjoy his pain, but nothing about it satisfied you, not anymore it seemed, not when he’s so clearly trying.
He gave you a washed-out smile, “I hope you enjoy them.” Then walked away, you listened till you could no longer hear his footsteps.
You were walking side by side with Harry, desperately trying to listen to the story he was telling you. His hands were whisking in the air, adding dramatics, and every so often he’d have to push his glasses up. You would usually find this amusing, but you were distracted.
Draco had been doing nice things for you all week. You were trying hard to hold this grudge you built, but with you each soft smile and saddened eyes he sent your way, your resolved crumbled.
The butterflies hesitantly coming out their cage.
And he did seem sorry, truly he did, you were so close to forgiving him. You don’t know what was holding you back anymore.
You met his eyes from across the corridor, his eyes softening once meeting yours, then hardening a second later when seeing who was next to you. Yet, he kept his path to you.
“May i talk to you?” He asked softly, not acknowledging Harry, who stopped his animated story.
You looked at the green eyed boy next to you, he took the hint and turned down the opposite corridor. “Yeah, sure.”
That familiar streak of hope flashes through his eyes as he led you down to the gardens to the bench that you loved to occupy.
“I wanted to say i’m sorry, again.” He said once you both were seated, your knees knocked against his when he turned his body towards you.
You nodded, signaling him to go on.
“It was wrong for me to treat you like that, to say those things.” He took a deep breath. “I was stupid, i took advantage of the best thing that ever happened to me. You were always so good to me, treating me with kindness that i didn’t deserve. Will never deserve.”
“Dra-“ He cut you off gently.
“No, just let me get this out first.” He placed his hand over yours timidly, when you didn’t pull away, he interlocked his fingers with yours. “You did things for me that no one else has ever done. I was flattered at first, when i first realized you liked me, i didn’t think you could ever like me. You’ve always been so beautiful, i never thought i would have a chance. But then i find out you liked me. I got the prettiest girl in Hogwarts to like me.” He shook his head, letting out a humorless laugh.
He continued on, “It got to my head obviously, i thought maybe if i shown my interest, you’d realize that i wasn’t as great as you thought me to be. It was so dumb of me, to act like i didn’t like you, i actually got myself to believe i didn’t.”
He moved closer to you, “I understand if you don’t forgive me, i don’t deserve it honestly. Fuck, i wouldn’t even forgive me. But, i would regret it if i didn’t at least try.”
He brought your interlocked hands closer to him, kissing the back of your hand, “So this is me, putting my heart out there, either for you to break or hold in your hands. Please forgive me and give me another chance, that i don’t deserve?”
You didn’t even know your eyes were tearing up until one slid down your cheek, before you could wipe it away, his thumb came up and did it for you.
You didn’t answer, you just placed your lips on his. Caressing his lips with your own, feverishly. Pouring out every emotion into him. He kissed you back with just the same passion. Bringing his hands to your face, caressing his thumbs on your flushing cheeks, tilting your head back as he controlled your lips. Bringing the kiss to a softer pace. Your hands played with the hair on his nape, until he pulled back.
“So, was that a yes?” He breathed a laugh, you could still see the vulnerability in his eyes.
“Yes, of course, you idiot.”
“Yeah?” He was smiling ear to ear.
“Yeah,” You kissed him breathless once more, then pulling back. “but first you have to get me another one of those bouquets.”
“Anything.” He states softly, placing his lips back on yours, as if he’s done it for years.
795 notes · View notes
burnedbyshoto · 4 years
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cravings & needs
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— Even Natsuo has cravings and needs that demand relied even when you, his wife, is pregnant.
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pairing: todoroki natsuo x pregnant fem!reader
warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut, pwp, pregnant!reader, pregnancy hormones, slight daddy kink, lactation, breeding kink, natsuo platonic!calls reader mommy.
word count: 2,825
a/n: i am like: breed but no pregnant. but sometimes im like: pregnant but no baby. so basically, I lose.
kinktober day 16 main kink: lactation | kinktober masterlist
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You were going to strangle Todoroki Natsuo until his face turned blue and purple.
Then you will cry.
Then you will profusely apologize as he splutters for breath.
Then you will kiss him soundly, fingers ripping his clothes off, raging hormones simmering your blood. 
Then you’ll shove him off of you, calm once again, and ask if he wanted to go get some ice cream as his pale skin flushed red.
To say the least, you absolutely hated your stupid, good for nothing, utterly super-fertile husband who just had to carry the Todoroki breeding kink gene. You were nine months pregnant, nine months after finally agreeing that both of you were ready for children. Your belly was so large and swollen with your future son that you often cried when seeing yourself in the mirror. Not because you were insecure, but because you didn’t think the skin on your stomach should stretch that much.
“Are you sure he won’t accidentally pop out of my stomach like in Alien if he presses against me too hard?” you had cried to your doctor of a husband who looked like he wasn’t sure if he should be laughing or mortified of your lack of common sense.  “I promise,” Natsuo smiled, pressing a kiss to your swollen hands, but you didn’t believe him.
But your entire body hurt at the moment. Every piece of flesh and contracting muscle was swollen to its max. You didn’t feel cute. You didn’t think you were cute as you lay in your bed with a million pillows fluffed around your body because you could no longer lay on your back. Your lips were pulled into a pout, your eyes shining with tears as you sniffled.
“Natsuooooo!” you wailed, your feet kicking against the mattress pathetically, calling out to your husband, who was doing who knows what. “Natsuoooooooo!”
There wasn’t even a response back to that, and for some reason, it infuriated you. Hormone and pain-fueled anger shot through your pregnant veins as a demanding cry left your lips. “TODOROKI NATSUO!”
“Yes?!” came the distant faraway voice, the scuffing of a chair on the floor and the pittering of feet as you remained on the bed, suddenly feeling guilty and sad. “Coming!”
So when Natsuo peeked into the room, his glasses sitting on the crown of his head telling you that he was probably looking through his research, you began to bawl. You had the audacity to tell Natsuo that you weren’t crying as your face burned with your embarrassing tears and as you soaked not only your pillows but your face with your tears.
“No, no, baby, what’s wrong?” Natsuo asked his face swimming with concern and sympathy for you, his nine-month pregnant wife. He approached the bed, sitting at the edge, but that made you cry harder as you turned away from him, your back to him. You felt his hand touch your shoulder, soothing your shaking shoulders as he let you stay unresponsive as you continued to cry.
“I hate you,” you eventually spat, the guilt no longer sitting in your collection of feelings because this was his fault. You sat up on the bed, or well, tried to. You allowed Natsuo to help you into a sitting position that made his damn bastard kid sit directly on your bladder. You had just peed!
“What did I do?” Natsuo asks, his mouth twitching in that annoying way that told you he was trying to take you seriously, but given all your outbursts lately, his expectations were low.
“You put this stupid fucking bastard demon little fucking shit in my stomach!” you raged, grabbing him by his collar and shoving his face to your stomach where the stupid kid was trying to play open the damn piñata on your stomach! “He has been in here for nine-months too long. My entire body hurts, and my tits feel like they’re about to fucking explode with this milk I fucking can’t even fucking save because this little shit isn’t coming for two more weeks. I want him gone. I want your stupid fucking little not so cute breeding kink demolished,” you hissed, your eyes glaring into his grey eyes that glistened with emotions that made the raging fire of hatred and anger flicker and evolve into one that went straight to your cunt. Fuck.
“You don’t like being pregnant?” Natsuo asked, his hands slipping under yours and manages to push them off of his person. Your mouth runs dry as you stare into his darkened eyes, and you’re subject to his thoughts and actions as your sore back comes in contact with your pillows. His voice is in a soft drawl, each word coming out slow and thick like honey. “Fuck, baby, that’s too bad because you look so fucking bred with my son. You have no idea how excited I get whenever people get to see my pregnant little wife, stuffed with my child.”
His lips are brushing against your collarbone as he says that, the heat of his breath making you pant. Your fingers curl into his shirt, your mewls pathetic and needy.
Stupid fucking hormones. 
“Where do you hurt most?” he asks, lips trailing down the cleavage of your swollen with milk tits.
“E-Everywhere,” you gasp when his hands slip underneath your shirt that barely fits anymore. His weathered hands trailing up the swollen mountain of your belly, you can feel the little shit in you reaching out after his touch too. “N-Natsuo! Don’t t-tease me!”
“Oh, I’m so sorry, my love,” Natsuo tuts as he pulls away from your collarbone, and you shiver as he manages to bring your shirt over your swollen stomach and past your aching breasts. “Do you need daddy’s cock to make you feel better? Maybe we’ll get lucky, and I can impregnate you again right now, so you don’t have to stop being my cute pregnant wife.” The thought of that sends your mind over the cliff. Realistically, you know that would be horrible, but the way his voice spoke in such a husky manner, and knowing that he is fucking obsessed with your pregnant, successfully bred body, a part of you hopes it happens. You watch with horny need and desire, ready for your husband’s mouth, fingers, and cock to please you and your horny state. But as you try to get your hands to his pants, the strain of his cock evident to you, you realize he hasn’t moved. “You’re lactating.”
You blink, and you peer down at your breasts, and you shriek at the murky white liquid dripping from your enlarged, swollen nipples. Through your entire pregnancy, you had managed to never leak milk in front of Natsuo. More often than not, you were with Fuyumi or Rei or your own family when it happened when he was at work, but for the past month, when milk was starting to leak out without your spoken permission, he had never been around. 
Natsuo tilts his head, his tongue pressing between his lips as he coyly looks up at you, grey eyes suddenly appearing jet black. 
You breathing piques.
And you don’t have the time to question why your husband looks like a predator cornering a prey as he sinks down, mouth suddenly enveloping a single nipple.
“NATSUO!” you shriek, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as his hot, wet mouth latched onto your nipple. 
His tongue twirled around your leaking nipples, lapping at the liquid that was coming out on its own, his hand on your other breast, keeping it upright, and you realized with a distant thought that he was somehow preventing the milk from spilling from your unlatched onto breast. You trembled under his hold, body feeling like it was being electrocuted as his teeth slowly sunk into your nipple, and he began to suck on your swollen, inflamed skin. It wasn’t anything different from how he usually sucks your breasts while the both of you fuck, but it felt to a greater degree of intensity and fervor for some reason. A rush of liquid, a slam of electricity slammed through your nerves as you wailed for Natsuo, your legs managing to hook over his waist as he sucked and sucked on your nipple.
Milk flowed from your free nipple, filling Natsuo’s mouth like a bottomless pit. Natsuo drank the sweet, warm liquid in his mouth, some of the murky fluid dribbling from the corner of his mouth as he sloppily drank you. Entirely obsessed with the taste of you.
“That’s so dirty of you!” you cried beneath him, hands weakly beating on his shoulders. “You’re so dirty, daddy! So d-dirty! You stupid, breeding idiot doctor pervert! D-Don’t you know that m-my milk isn’t — nghhh, oh my fuck, yes, yes just like that!!!! The milk — aaaahhhh!!! oh my god — the milk’s for the baby!!! N-Not… fuck, fuck, fuck, not for you!”
You tried to stare him in the eye but found the raw lust and want in his eyes to be overwhelming, your body trembling as you looked away from his gaze. The slight discomfort of having the milk being ejected from your nipple in such greedy, powerful sucks soon fades into throbbing pleasure. Your head knocked back into your once tear-stained pillows as you cry for Natsuo, the milk in your breasts leaking out even more now that there was a hungry mouth waiting to be feed. 
Your cheeks pounding with embarrassment. But you had to admit the feeling of his mouth, wholly and greedily consuming your milk made your cunt throb with heated need, and you were more than delighted to find that even in this position, your cunt ground against his hard cock.
He pulled away with a wet pop, his lips and chin absolutely wet with your milk, and you whimpered at the sight. If you knew any better by the way your breast no longer hurt, you’d say he sucked you dried.
“It’s my responsibility as a doctor, the father of your child, and your husband to make sure your milk is suitable for my child,” Natsuo calmly almost wickedly explained, his mouth suddenly against yours. “It’s my job to fulfill your body’s every little demand and need until you’re fucked and sucked satisfied.”
The sweetness of your milk suddenly invaded your mouth, and you cried at the taste of your milk.
“See,” Natsuo grinned, and you panted as he pulled away. He began to remove his pants and underwear, sliding down his boxers to reveal his beading, swollen cock, and tore your undies, unfazed by your scream of dismay as he spoke the entire time. “How can you hate when I put a baby in you. Especially when you can produce milk that fucking sweet, my love. I can’t wait to stuff you full with another kid, see you this fucking pregnant again. So soft, so cute, absolutely helpless and needy for anything and everything I can offer.”
Your cunt scorched and clenched in need, your panting, barely open eyes focusing on how Natsuo rutted his cock through your soaked folds, and how he had another hand to your other breast, pinching, almost milking your nipple.
Horny fury throbbed deep within you.
“Todoroki Natsuo, if you don’t fuck your pregnant fucking wife right now, I swear to go—aaahhhh!!! Shit, fuck!” you screamed as Natsuo’s incredibly thick cock finally entered your pulsing walls, stretching you out beyond what you were ready for as your body twisted and writhed against your pillows. Jaw slack open, tumbling heaving breathes, and half formulated curses escaping your mouth as his cock entered you.
Your eyes fluttered impossibly fast, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as Natsuo shifted his hips further into you. It seemed that while being pregnant, your cunt had become stupidly tighter, and Natsuo’s cock, which you could take without even breaking a sweat nowadays, had come to absolutely wind you like some blushing virgin as of late. 
“Shhhh, shhh,” Natsuo whispers against your cleavage, his hips rocking into you at a slow speed, teeth skimming and biting alongside your still swollen with milk tit. “Be a good mommy and let your daddy fuck you while drinking your milk, okay?”
You couldn’t even come up with an articulate word to say. Your head nodded, you think, you couldn’t even tell as his cock dragged up your walls, making your head spin just a bit as his mouth enveloped your thus far ignored nipple. 
There were moments where you felt like you’ve come to orgasm without actually orgasming. The sensation of his cock shifting in your cunt that was absolutely so tight, you could feel the pulsing veins on his cock beating against your walls with his pounding blood. But it was that wordless sensation of the milk being sucked from your swollen breast that made your toes curl with satisfying lust, the heat of his mouth, and bite of his teeth on your throbbing muscle and flesh that had your hurting hips shifting for more friction.
Pounding, blissful pleasure washed over you as the slurping noises of Natsuo greedily, hungrily drinking in your milk.
“Faster,” you cried when the not quite an orgasm faded from your skin but left a static sensation in the tips of your fingers and toes. Your hands went from his shoulders to thread and yank at his hair. “Faster, daddy, fuck me faster, drink my milk more! Do it harder, please, please, I need you more! I want to feel this more!”
And Natsuo, true to his belief what a doctor, a husband, and the father of your child should do, did what you demanded.
His hips rocked into you, the squelching noises of your wet pussy were loud and demanding. The rocking juices and essence from your legs seeping out with every rocking slam, splattering onto your lower stomach that Natsuo dutifully avoided. His mouth that was nursing on your nipple sucked and sucked; loud smacks and massive gulps you swore you could feel on your breasts made your thighs tremble with lewd need. You tugged at his hair, absolutely riveted with the way he drank you, shaken with the fact that found this attractive.
Natsuo drank your milk mouthful by mouthful, his blackened eyes piercing through you completely, making your lust haze gaze feel weak and absolutely shallow as the glinted with glee with every successive slam of his hips into your cunt. 
“Fuck, your milk is so fucking sweet,” Natsuo growls against your breast, his mouth taking a break from your breast as you pant wildly. “Gonna take all that I can before the pup shows up.”
The words curl and pulse in your core, and you can barely manage to stammer out his name at the thought of him feeding himself with your milk for the next two weeks before your child finally came. You shake with the need, your head nodding pathetically with the agreement to let him do as he wants as you slowly whine out a verbal response, but there’s no reason to answer. For when you do, your words heavy on your tongue, his teeth sink into your nipple, his cock brushes against your cervix, and the throbbing, heated pit in your stomach, so dense and heavy with your satisfied need and lust, exploded with the peaked wanton need. An orgasm ripped through your body, your heels digging into his hips as you screamed his name. Your body trembles as you can feel that all too familiar heat of his seed spilling within you, the sticky fluid swimming in you as he continues to feed on your milk.
Your nipples ache with the overstimulation, but you can’t muster anything more than a few pathetic whines as Natsuo continues to drink. He sucks and sucks and sucks until he pulls away. The final gulp of your milk loud and sends a shiver down your spine as he wipes the back of his hand to his wet lips. 
Tears somehow explode into your eyes as you stare up at your beautiful husband, who, now that his own hormones have faded looks entirely scared.
“Oh fuck, what’s wrong, my love? Do you need me to go get ice cream? I’ll get the bath running, and we can go soak—?”
“I’m s-so h-happy,” you smile, a watery grin on your face as you grab onto your husband’s jaw that is still slightly wet with your sweet milk. “You make me feel so happy, so good. You make me feel like the best person in the w-world, and I wouldn’t m-mind being pregnant with more kids as long as you keep doing that.”
Natsuo stills, his scared expression melting into one of fondness and slight cockiness, “I think I can make that work.”
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cacoetheswriting · 3 years
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for you and i
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Pairings: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Warnings: honestly just pure fluff, mild swearing, mentions of alcohol consumption, implied smut (nothing graphic) Word Count: 2.2k Summary: A small collection of moments throughout reader’s and Spencer’s evolving relationship that features their song. A/N: this symbol ~~ signifies a time jump.
A/N: i finished my rewatch of bones last night (im hella emotional), and one of my favourite “running gags” from the show is hot blooded being booths and brennans song, and how the writers reminded us of that from season to season. it definitely definitely inspired me to write this. also i did this instead of working on my assignment as a birthday gift from me to me lmao ENJOY
-
The plane trip back home was completely silent.
Morgan and JJ were catching up on much needed sleep. Emily, lost in thought, observed the night sky through the small window. Rossi was reading, as Hotch worked his way through some case files.
Spencer sat next to you at the far end of the jet. You were listening to music while his nose was buried in a book. Although you could tell he couldn't really concentrate on the words as the page remained unturned for the last fifteen minutes.
“Why don’t you let your eyes rest for a minute?” You suggested, carefully taking out one earphone. “A short nap could be good for you. It doesn’t look like you’re retaining any information anyway.”
Spencer nodded slowly, agreeing with you. He shut the novel in his lap and tilted his head to look at you, his lips pursed into a thin shy smile. “You should get some sleep too Y/N.”
“I’m okay.” You replied. “Plus someone has to keep watch in case the jet gets abducted by aliens or something.” A sly grin appeared on your face as Spencer chuckled softly. He rested his head against the chair and gradually closed his eyes.
You watched him for a moment. Examining his perfect features. Your innocent crush growing by the second - something you would never admit out loud in fear it would ruin your friendship.
When you were about to place the earpiece back in your ear, his eyes shot back open. He sighed heavily.
"I actually don’t think I can.” Spencer said quietly and once again turned his attention to you. His gaze briefly landed on the phone in your hands before travelling up to your face. “Did you know that in addition to aiding relaxation and helping with falling asleep quicker as well as improving sleep quality, playing music before bed can improve sleep efficiency? Which means more time you are in bed is actually spent sleeping.” You raised a curious brow waiting for him to continue, but he just asked: “Can I ask what you are listening to?”.
Instead of answering his question, you wiped the dangling earphone against your blouse and handed it to him. He took it, a little hesitantly, and placed it in his ear - the two of you unconsciously shifting closer to one another.
You could tell by the expression on his face that he didn't know the song currently playing, nor did he particularly like it, but he didn't protest or ask you to skip it. In his eyes, you were kind enough to share your source of entertainment therefore he would never push to change what you were clearly enjoying.
The song ended, another began, and another, and another. Eventually Spencer closed his eyes again. The two of you continued to silently listen to the various songs on your playlist - a wild mix of different artists and genres, definitely showcasing your weird music taste.
Touch Me by The Doors began to play.
“I like this one.” Spencer muttered, eyes still closed. “I didn't peg you to be a rock fan.” You stated curiously. Spencer chuckled softly. “I wouldn't call myself a fan per se, this is just a very good song.” “This is actually my favourite song of theirs.” You proclaimed.
Sinking deeper in your seat, you quietly sang along. “What was that promise that you made?” To your pleasant surprise, the young doctor joined in. “Why won't you tell me what she said? What was that promise that you made?” 
Lost in the pure bliss of the moment, you gently rested your head against Spencer’s shoulder. His eyes fluttered open. He glanced down at you and smiled to himself. Yes. Yes, he could definitely get used to this.
~~
“Watch it!!!” You shouted and rudely gestured after the vehicle that overtook you out of nowhere, almost sliding right into your car. Frustrated, you ran your hands through your hair before placing them on the wheel again. A deep sigh escaping your lips in the process.
Spencer chuckled next to you. “Maybe next time I’ll drive.”
“Sorry.” You muttered, tone of your voice changing completely for a moment. “People are just so fucking stupid.” The groan was full of annoyance, and it only made the young doctor snicker louder.
“How about we turn on the radio?” Spencer suggested. “Cool you down a little since we have another hour drive ahead of us, and I would preferably like to get there in one piece.” He teased. You rolled your eyes at his comment, but didn’t protest.
Taking your silence as a yes, Spencer fumbled with the car radio.
‘Come on, come on, come on, come on Now touch me, babe’
Voice of Jim Morrison blared through the speakers. Instantly, your whole body loosened up. No longer feeling annoyed or angry. Driver’s rage dissipated. The frown circling your features was replaced by a happy smile.
‘Can't you see that I am not afraid?’
Stopping at a red light, you looked at Spencer who was lightly bopping his head to the beat of the music. His gentle curls bouncing with his every move.
“You know, the universe is telling us that this is our song now.” You noted. The young doctor met your gaze, and the grin present on his face made your heart skip a beat. A faint hit of nerves cascaded through your body as you anxiously waited for his response.
Spencer shrugged his shoulders slightly. “It’s a good song. The universe could have wished us a lot worse.”
As the light ahead turned green, and you were driving once again, the two of you burst into the chorus as loud as you possibly could: “Now, I'm going to love you! Till the heavens stop the rain!”.
~~
The bar was filled to the brim with people wanting to unwind after a long week of work. That included the BAU team.
“One more for the road!” Morgan exclaimed, jumping out of his seat. He motioned to Hotch for assistance and the two of them briskly walked off in the direction of the bar. “While they’re gone, I’m gonna hop to the loo.” Penelope chimed. “I’ll join you.” JJ spoke up and they hurried off.
Spencer sat beside you, shoulder pressed lightly to yours. He was sipping on the remainder of his drink and you were about to open your mouth to say something, engage him in conversation, when you heard it. The song. Your song.
Your head instantly snapped up at him and a mischievous grin spread on your face. By the time Spencer realised what was going on, you were up on your feet grabbing him by the arm, and pulling him onto the self-made dance floor.
You began to sway along to the music. The alcohol currently flowing through your veins definitely made you that much braver. It also gave Spencer the confidence boost he needed to join you with no objections.
Despite the questionable looks you were undoubtedly receiving, the two of you jumped around like kids. Singing the song out loud to one another. It was as if the world around you disappeared. Like you and Spencer were the only people left in the bar.
‘Till the stars fall from the sky’
And when the night concluded, when everyone said their goodbyes, Spencer continued to hum the melody of your song as he waited with you for the taxi. It was then you chose to make the first move - colliding your lips with his in a carefree kiss.
They were softer than you ever imagined. 
All at once, the attraction between you two and the tension that built up over the years burst. You grabbed onto his jacket pulling him even closer. Suddenly, the cold night air didn’t feel so cold anymore. It was hot, burning like a flame. Your body was on fire and so was his. 
Spencer’s long arms wrapped around you, trapping you in the fire. One of his hands moved lower down your back, while the other tightly gripped your hair. The sensation that he felt was unimaginable. He always imagined what you would taste like, although he never expected anything would happen. He imagined how your body would feel against his. How your lips taste. But this, this exceeded all expectations.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.” He said in a smoky voice after pulling away, his hands now holding your face. “That’s what I was going to say.” You managed to whisper before his lips landed on yours again. Your heart pounding hard inside your chest, it felt as if it was about to explode.
~~
Spencer huffed as he placed a heavy cardboard box down on the ground. He straightened himself, flattened down his crinkly t-shirt, and turned to you with a smile. “That’s the last of it.” He stated proudly, placing his hands on his hips.
“My hero.” You ambled towards him and pecked his lips. “Thank you.” His arms made their way around your waist, pulling you in close. He placed a tender kiss on your forehead before glancing around the room.
“I can’t believe we’re officially moved in together.”
“It’s been a longtime coming.”
“That it definitely has.” Spencer smiled kissing you. He let his arms fall and shuffled around to start unpacking. 
Having planned ahead, you removed a speaker from your handbag. You quickly set it up, connecting it to your phone, and pressed play to ease the process that would carry on into the night.
Starting with the kitchen, and the more fragile items, the two of you made your way through the new apartment. 
Hours passed. It was getting quite late as tiny yawns continuously escaped your lips. However, the hard work was paying off because space started to feel more and more like home.
You decided to finish up for the night - tomorrow was another day. Yawning, you leaned into the arms of your boyfriend. Spencer kissed the top of your head and began to sway you slowly from side to side.
Right on queue, the guitar intro you both recognised well began to play through the speakers. You smiled into his chest before breaking free from his embrace. 
‘Yeah! Come on, come on, come on, come on Now touch me, babe Can't you see that I am not afraid’
Sharing a knowing look, you both started to dance. Not wanting to disrupt any neighbours you both chose not to sing along like you usually did. Instead, you mouthed the words in sync as if you were competing in a lip-sync battle.
‘What was that promise that you made? Why won't you tell me what she said? What was that promise that you made?’
The two of you circled happily around one another. It wasn't long before the air guitars came into play. 
And as the song concluded, Spencer cupped your cheeks. “I love you.” He muttered, gazing deep into your eyes. “I love you too.” You replied smiling.
Without another word, Spencer’s lips crashed against yours. Both your heads tilting hungrily from side to side to vary pressure. Hearts hammering loudly. Your hands made their way up his muscled back as his hands traveled down your neck, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Why don’t we move this party to the bedroom?” He suggested, his face still only inches away from yours. You lifted your hand, and brushed some of his light curls away behind his ear. “I do believe I read somewhere that it is considered bad luck not to christen the bed on the first night of living together.” You stated giggling. 
Spencer raised an interested brow. “What else does the article say?”
“How about I just show you.” And like that, your lips were on his once again as he blindly led you to the bed.
~~
“And now ladies and gentlemen we would like to bring out our newlyweds, Dr. & Mrs. Reid, to dance their first dance as husband and wife. Let’s give them a hand.”
Spencer turned to you, that warm kindhearted smile you loved so much circling his lips. He offered you his hand. “Mrs. Reid.” You took it gladly. “Dr. Reid.”
He led you to the middle of the dance floor and swiftly wrapped one arm around your waist, holding you close, while the other hand intertwined itself with yours. Music started to play and the two of you swayed elegantly from side to side.
“I have a surprise for you.” Spencer whispered in your ear before briefly pulling apart and twirling you around. 
Suddenly the music stopped. Sounds of disappointment echoed through the watching crowd as you shot your husband a quizzical look.
A melody you knew all too well filled the space.
Your mouth parted slightly in shock as Spencer let his arm fall from your waist. He spun you around once again and began rhythmically banging his head to the beat of the song. You couldn't help but giggle at the sight before joining in.
Excited screams echoed through the crowd as they cheered on. Even though you heard them, you knew people were watching and documenting this moment, you felt as if there was no-one else around - déjà vu.
Spencer pressed his forehead lightly to yours, his hands cupping your cheeks. His lips twirled into a smile. A big smile that you reciprocated. Feeling as if you were on cloud nine, you looked deep into each others eyes and whole heartedly sang along with the song. Your song.
‘I'm going to love you Till the heavens stop the rain I'm going to love you Till the stars fall from the sky For you and I’
-
masterlist
520 notes · View notes
literaphobe · 2 years
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Something so cool about sadf is that all the misunderstanding and miscommunication and dragging their feet isn't frustrating at all, to me at least.
Romance stories that prolong the inevitable confession when it's clear both characters like each other so often do, frustration and irritation building up, because if they had just phrased this sentence a little differently, if they had just stayed to listen a little longer or maybe not at all, then they wouldn't be here.
But Dream and Georges problems aren't from mistakes and eavesdropped conversations, it's from two best friends terrified of ruining what they have for the chance of something more.
Here I can't say "they shouldn't have said that" it's "they should have said that" (that being I love you) but it's very understandable why they don't, so yeah, this is one of the only fics, or really any media, I've consumed of this kind without feeling frustrated, which is pretty cool.
YOU GET IT thank you… that’s what happens when its complicated like that when it’s not as simple as two parties liking each other…
not to reference dark times but regarding the whole ‘if sadf!george told sadf!dream he’s in love with him too they could get together’ comment people have made. well. it’s not AS easy as that. idk if i phrased it right any of the last times i talked about this but while it would certainly set things in motion sadf!george saying ‘no way omg im in love with you too’ wouldn’t be as straightforward as you might think because loving someone and having feelings for someone isn’t the same as getting into a romantic relationship with them especially when that SOMEONE is tied to every other aspect of your life in every way. sometimes it’s easier to say ‘i’m in love with you’ than it is to say ‘let’s risk it all’ and that’s something even sadf!dream is Genuinely afraid of. him thinking sadf!george wouldn’t want to date him anyway is definitely a big factor in all this, but he has his own past, insecurities, pain, experiences, etc that make him scared to be so reckless. he wants to be responsible about it, he doesn’t want to risk sadf!george
right now they’re both in this… “i love you so much i can’t lose you” stage and they need to reach “i love you so much losing you might be worth it” or some… other equivalent state. more confidence, more courage, more insanity, for instance. and yes they def need to know more about the depth of each other’s feelings. and that’s what you all have to look forward to :) these things don’t happen all at once, remember that ch8 takes place immediately after ch7 and spans what is essentially 1.5-2 days. not that much time elapsed since the catalyst (the date not date date)
and the thing is about sadf!dnf. it’s not that sadf!dream thinks there’s no way sadf!george has no more feelings for him per se. and it’s also not that sadf!george had zero inkling that dream could’ve had feelings for him either. at the end of the day they do know each other. BUT. it’s like. they don’t want to have that assumption. and they don’t want to face up to it without confirmation. and neither of them knew the extent of it all. and they didn’t want to believe it too deeply without concrete proof to back it up, etc etc etc. so when sadf!george pestered sadf!dream for the real reasons, he just wanted it to be said. but he didn’t see something that extreme coming, and his emotions got all jumbled up, and because he was operating on instinct, he didn’t plan his next step right, so sadf!dream doubled down on wanting to be free from his own feelings. something similar happened w sadf!dream continuously asking about sadf!george’s past feelings. it wasn’t so much that he had no idea whether george still liked him, it was more so he was suspicious but unsure how deep things ran, and he figured that even if sadf!george did still like him he likely did not want to pursue them in a relationship sense, which he wasn’t all that wrong about…
i know how hellish this is. just picking it apart a little bit is hell. but that’s how things can be sometimes. you might get it you might not. you might’ve lived it too you might not
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gale-gentlepenguin · 3 years
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"You told someone who you are."
The pleasant afternoon patrol had taken a turn with the sudden accusation.
Ladybug felt a chill go down her spine as the words hung in the air. The spotted heroine turned to her cat themed crime fighting partner. She could see that his usual kind eyes and care free smile were absent from his face. This was serious Chat noir.
"W-what makes you assume that?" Ladybug asked, not outright confirming or denying the allegation.
The cat walked closer, his eyes watching her expression like a detective interrogating a criminal.
"Its a lot of things Ladybug." His comment exuded assurance. It wasn't false bravado either, Ladybug could feel it in her gut, chat noir was pretty sure. "For one, the sudden shift in attitude."
"Im pretty sure my attitude has been pretty consistent." Ladybug dismissed.
"Yes, for the last few weeks it has. But considering your rant at the movie theater, and right after that fight with the group of akumatized girls, your mood took a sudden shift back. It was almost as if it never happened."
"I just found a new way of coping with things, it has done me well. Besides, I am not 100%, I am still stressed. I just have a healthier way of dealing with it now."
The cat nodded, he could tell she wasn't lying to him.
"That does check out." Chat noir admits. "But I wouldn't be accusing if I didn't have more then that."
Ladybug held in her sigh, seems she wasn't done dancing in this minefield of questions.
"Next would be your messages."
"My messages?"
"Your communicator goes off much more frequently as of late. And you take the time to answer them."
"Our real phones are connected to our miraculous. Cant have people be suspicious. Isn't it best to answer when possible?"
Ladybug was seeing chat noir accept her reasoning. Perhaps he will relax about the whole thing. Until she noticed a shift in demeanor.
"Yep, makes total sense. So tell me, why would you want to tell me all about the akuma we fought yesterday?"
That wasn't good. She looked at her communicator and sure enough she saw the text she had thought she had sent to Alya yesterday.
'You're not going to believe the fight we had to day. The akuma was intense. I will give you deets later."
Ladybug realized she had message chat noir around the same time that day, a mix up of messages wasn't impossible. She mentally cursed.
"I.... meant to send that to Su Han.... he was going to be helping me figure things out and..."
"You and I both know he doesn't know how to work a phone, let alone text." Chat noir stated.
Ladybug realized she was caught.
"Chaton Im sorry I didn't tell you sooner..."
"Don't you 'Chatton' me! You aren't sorry you didn't tell me, you are sorry I found out." Chat noir shot down her apology.
"How was I suppose to tell you?" Ladybug shot back. "Hey Chat noir, I just wanted to let you know that I broke our rule about keeping our identities a secret because I was going through an emotional break down from all of the stress!"
"Yes! That would've been better than finding out that my supposed partner doesn't trust me at all!"
"We've been over this, We can't know each others identities. It is way too dangerous for either of us to know right now."
"THATS NOT WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!"
Ladybug paused.
"I tried to reach out to you, I tried to help you. I saw you were hurting and wanted to be there for you. But... but I guess you never thought of me as someone you could depend on did you."
"Chat noir... its not that I couldn't depend on you... its that you couldn't get the whole picture. I couldn't tell you, you wouldn't have been able to understand."
"But Rena Rouge could?"
The question pierced her heart like a bullet. Chat noir waited for her response, but it was clear that words were not going to come out. So he spoke.
"The ladyblogger? Thats the person you decide to confide in. The one that posts facts and information on us on a daily basis?!"
Ladybug tried to say something against but Chat noir continued. But his tone calmer.
"I guess it makes sense though."
"It does?"
"She was the first person you picked to assist us. Though I only found that out recently. She would need to be someone you trusted to tell them your secret. So maybe you do know her well enough to know she won't rat out your secret."
"She is more trustworthy then you know." Ladybug defended.
"Of course, you're the guardian now. You would trust the people you've picked, or you would never pick them." Chat noir continued.
"Yes. That is true. I trust the people I picked."
Chat noir nodded.
"Okay then. So that answers the next question"
"What question?"
"Why you didn't trust me to help you."
"Chat noir that is not equivalent to..."
"You didn't pick me to be chat noir. That was master fu. Is that the reason you still want me as Chat noir? An obligation to our memory wiped masted? The one that wanted to keep me in the dark longer? Are you keeping up his traditions? Cause if you are then you are doing a great job! Its just like before. No, its worse then before." Chat noir ranted.
"That is not true and you know it! I couldn't be ladybug without you. You are important to me. Yes, I didn't tell you I told someone my identity. But that doesn't mean I don't trust you! Your are my partner."
Chat noir turned around walking away from her. He took a deep breath, exhaling all of the anger, hurt and pain in one action.
"Chat noir!" Ladybug called out.
"Im not going to quit being chat noir if thats what your worried about." He said without looking at her. "If you want me to give up the miraculous, I will accept without question."
Ladybug noticed how formal the cat hero had become. It unnerved her. His expression and tone were serious, as if he was actively suppressing his emotions. It felt so... wrong.
"I don't want you to quit." Ladybug answered. Her voice softer, filled with concern and worry over what was going through the cat hero's head.
"Then I will stay as Chat noir."
Chat noir began waling to the edge of the rooftop.
"Wait... Chat noir. I am sorry... About everything. I should have told you what I did sooner... I should have..."
"I think thats enough of a patrol for the day. Let me know if you need anything else, Master Ladybug." Chat noir replied, ignoring her apology.
Chat noir jumped from the roof, leaving Ladybug on the rooftop, to grieve the death of their partnership.
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boobz-fye · 3 years
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Comforting them after losing a game
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Includes: Oikawa Tooru, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Kageyama Tobio, and Keiji Akaashi x G/N reader.
Warnings: the boys doubting themselves and cursing(I think I only said one bad word in kageyamas but whatever)
Rant: Ok, I feel like this post is actual shit. Like I say that about almost all of my posts- but this one is very bad. The only good one is Ushijimas I think, so I hope I do all of the characters a little justice tho. Also sorry that I haven't been posting much (for like two weeks) I have been very busy, and been dealing with writer's block. I will try and post something else some time next week. Think it's gonna be fluff for MHA tho. Anyways, HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS!!!!!
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Oikawa Tooru~
It all happened too fast. He could have sworn that they were just in the lead, ahead of Shiratorizawa by two points. He was so close to beating them. And now what is he going to say to you, or the team? He promised all of you that they will win this only to not fulfill it. Slowly dragging his feet out of the gym, Oikawa starts to feel tears building up in his vision. ‘No you can't cry right now.’ Oikawa thinks as he starts to pick up a pace. Maybe this is all just a bad dream and he will wake up soon.. Yeah that sounds right. He can wake up and have a fresh start of the day, win against Shiratorizawa, then celebrate with his team mates, and to top it all off go over your house and cuddle the whole night.  Oh how lovely that sounds, only if that wasn't another fantasy planted in his head.
Overwhelmed with emotions Oikawa finally comes out of the locker rooms, only to see you sitting on the floor. “What are you still doing here baby?” You look up to see Oikawa putting on a fake smile that makes your heart break. “Come here..” You say rising to a standing position, with your arms open and welcoming. Oikawa doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around you, and be consumed by your warmth. “You did amazing out there handsome.” Those few words made Oikawa feel butterflies in his stomach. The only thing that could make him feel better were your praises. But he still couldn't help the small ache in his chest, remembering that he promised everyone that they would win this game and make it to nationals. “If I did good then why didn't we win?” He says with a slight crack in his voice, making an ache of your own spread through your chest. “Maybe it was just luck. You were only off by one point, plus if it makes you feel better you'll be able to beat their ass in spring!” A breathy chuckle escaped from Oikawa's mouth, causing a grin to form on your face. “You're right baby, we will beat them in spring.”
Ushijima Wakatoshi~
Ushijima wasn't used to losing. The reality didn't hit him until he heard the opposing teams audience cheer. Looking over to the scoreboard when he hears the whistle being blown, only to see that his team has lost. A bitter taste settles on Ushijima’s tongue. But he is once again pulled out of his thoughts by a hand resting on his shoulder. He turns around to see his team standing behind him with a look of true defeat. “C’mon Ushijima, we have to line up” Tendou says with a tone a little different from his usual cheery one. Not knowing what to say Ushijima just grunts with a small nod.
Walking outside of the gym Ushijima starts to replay the game in his head to try and see where they went wrong, but soon was interrupted by some arms wrapping around him from behind. “Hi bubs.” you say nuzzling your head into his back. “Hello Y/N.”  “Soooo…” you try to think of what to say that will make Ushijima feel better, but it's hard to do so when he can be very blunt at some points and not understand what you are trying to get at. “Yes?” Ushijima says tugging at the sleeve of your jacket to gain your attention back to him. “How are you feeling after the game?” There is a little moment of silence that comes over the two of you causing a slight panic cloud in your mind, because what if he took your question the wrong way- “I don’t know how to feel about losing, I'm upset because we put a lot of effort in that game just to lose. But they won fairly, so I guess that just shows that we weren't good enough.” Ushijima states bluntly. You're kind of taken back by his answer, but notice how his eyes show more emotion than his words. You could tell that he was more than just upset. “Don't say that Ushijima, you guys did amazing out there. You guys were only off by a couple points!” You say as you take Ushijima’s hand into your own. “But still we tried our best and it wasn't enough.” You felt his hands tremble a little in your touch, looking at him with a soft gaze you say “I'm sorry bub, you will get them next time though, I know you will because you are good enough.” Ushijima nods and mumbles a thank you, while gently squeezing your hand. It's times like this, when Ushijima shows you his vulnerable side, that you hold dear to your heart.
Kageyama Tobio~
Kageyama dreaded feeling the pain in his chest after losing a game. He would never get used to it, and doesn't really care enough too anyways. Maybe if he didn't send the ball to Hinata, knowing that the idiot will just close his eyes, then they could have won. But even then Oikawa’s tricky serves would still be a pain to work around. Not to mention how fast the whole team learns their opponents weaknesses. Kageyama had gotten so lost in his thoughts that he forgot he had to meet up with you at a cafe in 6 mins. Today seems to just get worse and worse by the second and he doesn't know if he will be able to keep himself together for much longer.
You hear the bell on the cafe door ring, causing you to turn around and see that all too familiar face. Kageyama walks over to you and takes his seat. Only when he finally looks up you notice that he is panting. “Did you run all the way here kags?” “Yeah, would have been late if I didn't.” Kageyama never liked being late to anything that has to do with you, it makes him feel guilty, and he doesn't want to add upsetting you to the list of shitty things that have happened today. “I'm ok with you being a little late baby, especially when you just got back from your game…” Kageyeama drops his gaze back down to the table remembering that was the first game you got to see him play in just for them to lose, how embarrassing- “Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up.” you say rubbing the back of your neck. “It's ok….”  “Look at the menu and pick what you want, it's on me!” Kageyama shoots his head up and stares at you with wide eyes “Idiot im not letting you pay.” He mumbles while a blush spreads across his face. “Aww c'mon babe I can pay, let me get you some comfort food!” “Comfort food?” “Yeah food always helps me with stress” Before Kageyama could think over his next words, his mouth and brain betrayed him. “I think cuddles would make me feel better.” Both of you are taken back by his words, Kageyama was always so stubborn, forcing you to pick up hints from his behavior and piece them together to know what he wants. But you don't mind the forwardness; it helps you get straight to the point. Kageyama on the other hand is freaking out, he doesn't know if he was being too blunt or not, and your silence is not helping. “Never mind… forget what I said” “Whattttt, that sucks cause I was going to say yes but since you insist.” “Shut up, we can head over to mine after eating, the meal that I will be paying for, and cuddle. Now pick what you want already I don't have all day.” “Sir yes sir!” You say with a salute. “Dont do that you look dumb” Kageyama says, while trying to supress a grin. “You're so meannnnn” You whine with a pout. Even though Kageyama is teasing you the only thing you seem to be able to focus on is the way he starts to let loose and laugh around you. And when you look into his eyes all you see is love, not a trace of sorrow.
Akaashi Keiji~
It's only been a few minutes since the tragic game has ended and akaashi is already past the limit of stress he can handle. From the fact that they actually lost a game, while also trying to encourage the team and tell them that they will do better next time, and also trying to help bokuto get out of emo mode akaashi was starting to get a headache and wanted to just go home to sulk and attempt to relax. So once when he gets out of the shower akaashi throws on some clothes and runs out the locker room to the front gate. Not expecting you to be there waiting for him.
As Akaashi approaches the front gate he sees you standing there alone. “Y/N, what are you doing here? It's getting late.” “I know, I just wanted to check up on you” Akaashi looks into your worried eyes, causing him to feel a little guilt. Is he the cause of the expression on your face? “Oh well then can I walk you home?” You nod in approval, letting him take your hand and lead the way. A comfortable silence takes over the two of you, but you still can't help but feel like something is still off about Akaashi today, and none of his fake smiles and replies will put this thought at ease. “Hey Akaashi?” “Yes?” you stay silent for a little trying to think of the right words to say. “You know you guys did amazing at the game today right?” Akaashi hums in response, as the hold on your hand becomes a little shaky. “Good, because it's the truth. Just don't beat yourself up about it, you're great at what you do. Even though you guys didn't win I know you are still deserving of it. The only reason your opponents had a chance, was because of the chance balls. Plus you and your team have way more chemistry with each other then they did, it's almost like all of you can read each other's minds… Sorry I was rambling again.” Akaashi turns around and stares at you this time with a real smile on his face. “It's ok love, I think it's cute when you run your mouth. Now why don't we head over to your house instead? I want you to help me get rid of my stress, ok?” “And how can I help you with that?” Akkashi brings your hand towards his lips and gives it a quick kiss. “Cuddles of course, and let me eat whatever food you got in your house.” Akaashi says with a wink. On your way home you can't help but admire your caring boyfriend, always making time for you even when he's too emotionally and physically tired.
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