#well a first draft timekeeper

[troolyart]

It's WIP day everyone! Have some unfinished TimeKeeper designing while I work on more art at my job bc it's Saturday and they can't stop me.

Also, first design concept was...funky looking:

W O R M

#tspud #the stanley parable #tsp #artists on tumblr #tspud fanart #tspud art #tspud timekeeper #well a first draft timekeeper #actually the second or third draft lol #current wip #wip #yes they will have a human form too #im not a monster #well.... #tsp timekeeper

[mothwitch-arcanum]

Reverse 1999 x MLP AU Idea!

So! I said I had this in my drafts for a while but I just realized it was weirdly formatted so I'm redoing everything.

everything here was inspired by this post/fanart and the characters will be mostly based on them! with a few extra mixed in.

First off, Context! While this is more based on Gen 4 (Friendship is Magic), it does feel a bit of a Gen 5 derivative in that it's supposed to be future Equestria.

The Alicorn Princesses and the Element of Harmony are long gone, simply a distant memory in the minds of many of today's ponies. Equestria since then have not had any one or two princesses to rule, however remnants of the old kingdom still persist. The Twilight Foundation as well as The School for the Primary Defence of Ponykind (SPDP) were founded by old members of Princess Twilight's court and Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns respectively, and made as a response to a prophecy which was uncovered that said on the last day of the 2nd millennium since Princess Luna's banishment, a great calamity will befall upon Equestria which will turn the land of ponies back to how it once was. And so on the last day of the year 1999, time stood still and started reversing everything. Nopony was safe from it's effects... except for one. Her name was Invert Tempo. The Timekeeper, of the Twilight Foundation.

(characters and more under the cut)

Characters! (Ponified edition!)

(These are just names I personally came up with. If a better suggestion comes for any of them then I shall consider changing it)

Invert Tempo - Vertin (Earth pony) I saw a post once that said Vertin was just an anagram of Invert and I really wanted to incorporate that. Tempo was the suggestion of a friend, which relates to her musical inclination. or a shortened for of temporal which... y'know... fits very well

Sonnet "Sonetto" Moon - Sonetto (Unicorn) Honestly Sonetto is already a good pony name, but I wanted to give her a name akin to Twilight (There's a few parallels with those two not just in the post above), hence Sonnet Moon with Sonetto being a nickname.

"Captain R3G" Applecore - Regulus (Earth Pony) Applecore was actually the first name I came up with out of anything here because Regulus definately feels like she could be part of the Apple Family, maybe not directly Applejack's lineage though. I actually had a harder time with her nickname (Heavily inspired by Vinyl aka DJ Pon3)

Mistilteinn - Druvis III (Unicorn) She holds a bouquet of mistletoe, mistilteinn is literally just mistletoe... I could not NOT have her named after it. Also that can give her the nickname Mistil which sounds cute and cool!

Southern Breeze - Sotheby (Pegasus) Honestly I mostly picked this cause it was close sounding to Sotheby. Like you could also argue Sotheby could be a nickname because So(u)the(rn) B(r)ee(ze).

Morning Lillies - Lilya (Pegasus) This one also didn't have much thought put into it, just that Yellow = Sun = Morning and Lilya = Lillies and Morning Lillies sounded pony enough.

Bonus characters!

Dikke (who was featured in the post) is Silver Scale (unicorn)

Mr. APPLe is still the same as canon

Mr. Karson is Mr. Carton Box (earth pony) cause it sounds close

Schneider is Orange Blossom (Half Pony Half Changeling(I'll touch on this in a bit!))

Matilda (unicorn) I have no name for yet as well as Madam Z (kirin) and Constantine (maybe Pegasus) (suggestions welcome!)

Arcana is either a Draconequus or Changeling Queen and Forget-me-not is an Earth Pony

Headcanons!

Because of magic shenaniganry after the alicorns disappeared, earth ponies and pegasi can now use magic much like unicorns, but only a few of them. Some unicorns also lost their magic because of this hence a divide in "Normal" ponies and Arcanist ponies.

Applecore is a part of the very large Apple Family and runs Radio APPLe on her ship much like in canon. She also doesn't like people calling her by her real name so she goes Captain, Reg, or Reggy most of the time.

Mr. APPLe is a result of one of Applecore's experimentation in alchemy.

Orange Blossom is the filly of someone from the Orange Family and a Changeling, making her a half pony half changeling hybrid which also gives her minor shape shifting abilities.

being part of the Orange family also means technically Orange Blossom is distantly related to Applecore.

perhaps later on I shall add more but for now this is basically the gist of my ideas. Their cutie marks especially cause I wanna brainstorm what those could be like.

#vertin #sonetto #schneider #regulus #druvis iii #sotheby #lilya #aus #pony au #my posts #I have many more ideas for this au #I wanna share them all but I've already spent 2 straight hours just typing this out #my au #reverse 1999 #r1999 #reverse 1999 au #headcanons

[terrapwaters]

Current Projects

You can also read my newsletter for more in-depth info!

Nyctophobia

Teenagers battle a race of extradimensional aliens invading their small town. Sci-fi, LGBTQ+ characters, found family

Phase Shift (book 1) - Check it out on Patreon or Ream. The first two chapters are free!

Series bible -- I went through and cataloged all the details from Phase Shift, to ensure consistency as I'm rewriting book 2.

Inertia (book 2) - working on a rewrite to simplify the cast and punch up the action.

Interference (book 3) - working on plotting

1022 Magnolia Way

Polycule navigates early adulthood in 1999 Chicago. Humor, literary, LGBTQ+ characters, Ot4 relationship

Moving Day (book 1) - Rewritten (second edition), needs to be beta read

Spilled Coffee (book 2) - First edition still up on Amazon

Overnight (book 3) - drafted, and beta read, needs to be edited

Untitled Halloween episode (book 4) - plotted, not started

Over/Under world

Gods and immortal clerics, fantasy, LGBTQ+ characters

The Wayward Timekeeper - Novelette (11k) - Cleric goes on a quest through the Under world with his subterranean counterpart. M/M. Now available by subscribing to the Duck Prints Press Patreon at the $10 level!

Andelion short - An explicit mlm short story coming to the Duck Prints Press Patreon in April!

Untitled Novel - When an immortal cleric, a child of the gods of Life and Death, is killed, her younger sister and ward must discover how the impossible has occurred. -- I've got a ton of worldbuilding written, as well as about 30k of plot, probably around 75-80k when it's finished.

Untitled Size Difference - An explicit serial that takes place in the God of Death's harem. I've drafted the first installment and am working on the second.

Duck Prints Press Anthology Pieces

Aether Beyond the Binary: Ancient Hearts Unearthed, our Kickstarter funded, so this book will be published soon!

Many Hands: TBA, in editing

Want to stay up-to-date with what I'm working on? Join my readers list here! I talk about my projects and what books I've been reading recently!

#queer fiction #terra writes things #writers of tumblr #queer books #wip list #writers on tumblr

[lady-rose-moon]

Some worlds {Little Variant AU}

A/N: welcome to this, it's a draft that I wanted to add more to but after reading it, I realised that it was perfect as it was! I hope you all like it! The first chapter is linked below if you're new here 💚

Little Variant (w/c 2.7k)

My main masterlist <3

The TVA never really told Loki nor Haven anything about Variance activity or what was happening on the timeline at a specific moment. For that fact, Loki nor Haven ever knew what reality they would be walking into the moment that they were approved for a mission. Sometimes one of them would be allowed to go and the other must stay in the boring halls of the TVA, forcing their separation anxiety to only worsen with time.

Days bled together after a while and the father and daughter found themselves falling into the monotony of their surroundings even if their wills tried to fight the boredom. They suddenly lost track of how long they had been stuck in this mindless institution and instead, stuck together, bonding and making up for lost time. Loki found that Haven was more like him than anyone else, always making up ways to cause mischief, stabbing a Minute Man when he pissed her off, holding herself like the Princess of Asgard that she was. No mindless institution would strip her of her titles.

Throughout their capture in the TVA, Haven had formed a close bond with Mobius M Mobius, the one responsible for their lives at the moment. He always teased that he was their 'handler' but Haven could tell that he knew that he couldn't control them at all. The threat of pruning barely kept them in line, the timekeepers did not threaten the two Variants.

"Lokidottir!" called a voice one day in the library, causing Haven to look up from her files to meet Mobius's gaze. When he knew he had her attention, he tilted his head and grinned, "gear up, you and your dad are up!"

Thrilled, Haven snapped her file shut, grabbed her jacket and raced over to Mobius. "Is it a dangerous variant?" she asked eagerly, her eyes gleaming with the promise of a proper threat, a real fight, "do I have clearance to use my magic if I need to?"

"Your dad won't be very happy when he finds out you do," Mobius laughed as he walked, guiding Haven over to where her father was in the processing room for Variant files. "Loki," Mobius's voice carried over the noise of the printer, "pack it up, you're on!"

The grin on Loki's face showed clear relief and delight and he instantly strode over to Mobius and followed him out of the room. seeming to relax when the door closed behind them. "So," Loki began, taking Haven's hand as they walked, "where are we headed?"

"Eastern Audentia," Mobius replied casually, handing Loki a file as he walked, "a variant appeared there and we need to be there pronto. Might need your expertise for this one."

"Ah, well, I'll have my magic so it shouldn't be a problem," Loki replied casually with a grin, only to see his daughter cringe.

"Yeah, about that," Mobius murmured before stopping and looking at Loki, "Ravonna did not approve your request for your magic."

The look on Loki's face was poorly controlled rage as he looked away from Mobius and nodded. The walk to the locker rooms was awkwardly quiet after that.

~~~

Out in the field, Haven took a moment to savour the feel of her magic rushing through her veins again before she caught up with her dad and looked around.

They were on a planet, far away from Earth and anything that would be familiar to her. Perhaps it was purposeful so she wouldn't be able to run off. Buildings were burning around her and she was fearful as one crumbled just after the timedoor closed right at the spot that it had been at. Still, she was a Princess, she had to behave like one. Straightening her back and raising her chin, she walked beside her father through the fires and rubble of this planet.

The group spread out, trying to find the variant as fast as possible. Yet Haven stayed beside her father, knowing that she had clearance to use her magic and she would use it to save him at any cost. It sickened her that the TVA did not let him use it but let her.

She continued walking, now in a group with two Minute Men, Mobius and her father. Loki prevented her from looking at the bodies strewn across the street but Haven knew death, and murder was her Nexus Event, she was no stranger to the concept yet she readily accepted Loki's nurturing movements anyway.

The young Goddess gripped her father's hand when she heard a crackle to her left and when she whirled around, she found a sword to her neck and she froze. She stared at the wielder and her blood ran cold. It was her. She seemed to be in her twenties but it was unmistakeable that this was a Lokidottir variant.

"Haven..." Loki whispered hesitantly, looking between the smaller variant and their target. He was confused for a moment before remembering that Variants could be any shape or size and then he smiled to the elder. "Child, what has time done to you?"

The older variant hesitantly eyed Loki, her hand trembling as she tried to quickly recover from the shock of seeing her father and she glared at the duo. "I will not let you drag me away," she snarled, her eyes glowing purple with her power, "I have come too far for anything other than this path."

Loki shuddered at the words that were so similar to what he had said during his invasion but he steeled himself and stood tall. "What is your story?" he asked gently, eyes gentle and patient, as if he were speaking to the smaller variant of the threat, "why are they coming for you?"

The older Haven merely scoffed, and took a step away. "You cannot fool me, Loki," she spat, hearing shouting in the distance, "you're stalling! Don't look at me with such understanding eyes when you wish me to die!"

"Neither of us want you to die," Haven whispered to her variant, her heart hammering as she tried to work out what had happened that would break herself when she got older, "what happened to our family?"

The older Haven paused before she dissolved into mad giggles. "Of course I'd figure it out!" she exclaimed, throwing her head back, her raven curls falling out of their containment in her hood, "Ragnarok killed all of my family but spared me because my father loved me too much! They didn't make it to the Statesman! They all died in the fires!"

Loki stared at this older variant and his heart ached. It ached for the agony she'd had to go through probably at such a young age. He opened his arms, smiling at her with such a gentleness that he thought it wouldn't be possible. "Come here, little darling," he whispered, "I'm sorry for what happened to you."

The elder variant's resolve broke quickly and she jumped into her father's arms, sobbing uncontrollably. "I lost all of you! It was all my fault!" she cried, her long fingers digging into Loki's droll office outfit, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

Loki cooed and held her in his arms, resting his head against her ebony locks. "None of it is your fault, sweet darling," he whispered tenderly, rubbing her back.

The variant cried with her father for a long while until suddenly, her body arched and she began to disappear. Fear rose in her eyes, staring into Loki's eyes as she disappeared and when she was gone, Loki saw a Minute Man standing in front of him.

"Variant terminated," he spoke gruffly, pulling Loki up to his feet. "Reset the timeline."

And just like that, Loki and Haven were dragged through the Time Door back into the TVA. Loki held Haven's hand a little bit tighter after that.

~~~

@lokisgoodgirl @lokisninerealms @evelyn-kingsley @slpnbty2001 @jennyggggrrr @hahaha12123445 @ozymdias @holdmytesseract @itsybitchylittlewitchy @lovingchoices14 @xorpsbane @huntress-artemiss @muddyorbs @nerdy-fangirl-65 @lonadane @silverfire475 @chantsdemarins @iamsherlocked1479 @kittiowolf210 @just-someone11 @stupidthoughtsinwriting @loki-laufeyson-1054 @fictive-sl0th @coldnique

#loki x reader #loki #loki laufeyson #haven and loki #daddy loki #haven lokidottir #papa!loki #twhiddleston #tom hiddleston #loki x you #loki fluff #hot loki #loki (marvel) #imagines

[woodishsa]

The invention a “wood watch. ”

Curious about just the story behind this development or perhaps just the history of the wooden watch altogether? Well, it’s no wonder. This history is one infrequently told but fascinating, nevertheless. It has its roots in 16th century Europe, evolving from the spring- driven movable timepieces of the time. It was made by a German locksmith named Peter Henlein in 1505, who was presumably tired of the impracticality, imprecision, and importability of other timekeeping results, and is largely considered the world’s oldest watch.

Although, it wasn’t him who actually declared the invention a “wood watch. ” That honor belongs to original mariners of the day, who used it in place of their stopwatches to cover their 4- hour shifts that were generally called wooden watches. The association stuck and snappily came the sanctioned term, indeed to this veritably day. From that point on, wood watches snappily evolved, with moment’s recognizable flat design in 1675, the wristwatch in 1868, the electric bone in the 1950s, and the first quartz movement in 1969.

What about the rustic wooden watch, however? That came a many times latterly in 1980, created by James Borden, a repairer who had noway had any experience with the little tech’s mechanisms. still, he was fascinated by it and decided he wanted to try his own hand( or rather, wrist watch) at it. Since metalwork was n’t particularly accessible to him, he decided to draft his wood watch from what he’d on hand and could work with wood. He did, therefore the rustic watch was born, all pieces minus the quartz demitasse being made entirely of the stuff.

While born due to a lack of other accoutrements – necessity is the mama of invention, after all – the rustic wooden watch has come commodity further. currently, it’s a fashion and particular statement all in one, a move to stand out while also getting a step closer to nature. It’s come kindly of an ethical statement over the times, too, a move to reduce the detriment done to our terrain as nearly every ultramodern- day wood watch is made entirely of reclaimed accoutrements . Where will it go from then? That’s anyone’s stylish conjecture. But we ’re sure that whatever’s next will be just as great and innovative as everything that’s come ahead, and we ca n’t stay to see it.

[freeprintabletemplates]

Meeting Minute Templates

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Meeting minutes are not just records of meetings. Despite their name, minutes have nothing to do with timekeeping. While many believe that the word originated in the sixteenth century as a rough draft, others argue that the word came from the Latin word minuta, which means small notes. There are five steps to writing a good meeting minute. These steps are the foundation of your meeting minute template. The following steps will help you record discussions in a meaningful way.

First, decide what the purpose of the meeting is. What did people discuss? Who made important decisions? The purpose of the meeting should be documented. You may want to include additional information in the minutes, such as links or attachments. It may be helpful to include a summary of the key points of the discussion in the minutes. Once the minutes are written, you can archive them for future reference. Make sure to include the date of the next meeting.

Summarize Discussion Points:

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Offer to Take Questions:

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If you want to read more interesting blogs then you can click here...!

#office #meetings #freelancing #free template

[thenamesblurrito]

Are there any holidays in SNAP?

ty anon, and this ask has been a draft for........ awhile ._. anyways

given how the system of time measurement looks different than just orbital days and years on Cybertron, there’s a different calendar setup of holidays. some are synced to vorns, some are synced to seasons, etc. and obviously different places and cultures will have different holidays, but here’s some common ones:

New Vorn: basically the equivalent to our new year. this is when the calendar ticks over to the next number, everybody celebrates and remembers and looks forward, there’s probably fireworks in multiple cultures, etc. this is also true of the colonies. even though every planet has different orbital years, vorns aren’t counted by years, so all the colonies celebrate the new vorn at the same time along with Cybertron

Spring Equinox & New Year: Cybertron’s orbital year is shorter than a vorn, so celebrating the new orbital year at the spring equinox is more of a seasonal holiday than a timekeeping one. some Rust Sea cultures like Crystal City, Helex, Rodion, Altihex, and Kalis have their holiday on the fall equinox instead. this comes 5 or 6 times every vorn

Apsides: Cybertron has a very oblong orbit, so seasons aren’t governed by axial tilt so much as they are by distance from the sun. perihelion and aphelion are both celebrated, but since the warmth of spring causes more activity in Cybertron’s natural processes, perihelion is considered more important and joyful. this comes 5 or 6 times every vorn

Orn of Ages: so yknow how in real life horses have the same birthday for recordkeeping purposes? it’s kinda like that. each of the 12 fertile hotspots has an annual festival dedicated to it and everyone forged there. this is also how people record their ages. a person forged at the Eugenesis hotspot will mark themselves as one vorn older when the Eugenesian Orn of Ages rolls around, instead of the actual anniversary of their eruption. “birthday” cakes included! colonies have their own hotspots and thus their own Orns of Ages

Trimara Rites: this one is mostly in Tagan Heights and Darklands cultures, like Vos, Tyrest, Helex, and Tarn, and also on the colony Devisiun. these places divide the vorn into thirds, called trimara. each trimara has a holiday at the beginning, called the Rite of the Core, the Day of the Keeper, and the Wake of Mortilus. it’s like a ritualized life cycle of the vorn in three stages. the first celebrates new life and beginnings, as created in the core of Cybertron, the second commends living that life well, as guarded by the mythological figure the Keeper, and the last watches that life move on into a fresh cycle, as witnessed or even caused by Mortilus, god of death

Festival of the 13: a very common religious holiday that looks incredibly different based on local cultural interpretation of the Primes, religious symbolism, and historical bias. it celebrates the lives and importance of the original 13 Primes, with distinct phases and traditions for each Prime. it’s usually held early in the vorn and can last a few days, depending on how seriously the local culture takes the celebrations. it’s often used as a political event too, to get in some speeches and campaigning

Wake of Solus: the semihistorical, semireligious alleged anniversary of Solus Prime’s death. this is a pretty big, serious holiday on Caminus and some cultures on Cybertron, occurring late in the vorn. it’s less celebratory and more solemn, remembering and respecting

The Tragedy: this is sort of a counterpart to the Wake of Solus occurring near the end of the vorn, being a grim reminder of Megatronus Prime. regional belief varies on whether he was corrupted or killed, but something bad happened to him, he did terrible things, and then disappeared according to records attributed to Prima. it’s very important in Darklands, Tagan Heights, and Stanix cultures, but more of a casual bank holiday in other places

Primal Procession: historically the traditional day of appointment for new Primes, now translated into a political holiday for elections, new careers, and propaganda-filled parades. it happens right around the middle of the vorn, and the Grand Architect usually tours the most important cities on Cybertron to participate in processions and remind everyone of his power. sometimes he also visits the colonies. it’s become yet another race on Velocitron, while Carcerians typically treat it as an excuse to take to the streets with drunken singing and noisemakers

Allspark’s Festival: a pseudoreligious holiday that’s mostly become a family and general life celebration, about a third of the way through the vorn. it also celebrates Cybertron and Vector Sigma and the planet itself being alive, as well as individual people. think if Easter got watered down, combined with Mother’s/Father’s Day, and then smushed in with Earth Day for good measure. the colonies don’t really celebrate this one, except some places on Eukaris with cultures that believe the Allspark isn’t a literal physical object but rather a piece of every spark

Festival of Lost Light: this one happens annually, but the date changes, calculated to be held during the depths of Cybertron’s orbital winter in the last third of the vorn. it’s a reminder of the lost, the fallen, the dead, and passing inward to the Well. it’s both sad and comforting, and floating lanterns imitating sparks are a common tradition across cultures

Unity Day: a political holiday instituted by the Stratocracy to celebrate the anniversary of universal demilitarization after all the colonies had been brought under functionist control. supposedly it’s a reminder of the trust and goodwill that went into disbanding the army, a signal of the real unity everyone has under the regime. it’s a very government-run, propaganda generating holiday occurring near the beginning of the vorn across all Cybertron and colonies

#cybertron #cybertronian culture #functionism #worldbuilding #transformers #macaddam #caminus #velocitron #devisiun #Carcer #eukaris #Cybertronian history #13 primes #this one took a long time for some reason #ugh

[idril-la-wiccan]

Yo! Do you have any headcanon of GingerBrave? He's my #1 favorite cookie!!

Well, not much, but I do :

He and GingerBright are siblings.

Like in canon, they both encouraged cookies trapped in the oven to escape, but unlike how the canon is like : "The Witch isn't looking so let's sneak out", here they went all "Let's all bust the oven door open with our combined strength" kind of way. Tl,Dr: Brave and Bright said "REVOLUTION !"

He and Bright got adopted by Special Force cookie, who also happen to be Hero's mother, so Big Bro Hero, yay !

Actually, I might have the whole headcanon family tree ?

Oof, that's a very rough draft, but you get the idea.

Uh, what else... Oh yeah ! Side tracking to my fanfics, but he makes a cameo in one of them where he and Bright talk to Hero over the phone and :

Brave can't big words.

I know he's ten and probably should be able to pronouce the first one at least, but let me have him be cute like that, please, lol.

Also... while in canon Timekeeper only views him as "an ordinary cookie", in my fanfics' universe... Well, she hasn't showed herself to him yet, but she has been observing him and she's like :

And I'd like to tell more, but I probably shouldn't...

#cookie run #gingerbrave cookie #gingerbright cookie #special force cookie #hero cookie #cream cookie #cheerleader cookie #timekeeper cookie #headcanon #fanfic related #ask #anon

[ishouldreallybeelsewhere]

okay so that loki video essay thing was going well, and then like a day into writing it i lost the hyperfixation so it's never gonna be finished. i still think it's alright, completely unedited, entirely a train of thought, i hope you like commas and pacific rim, it's only 2.8k

btw if something doesn't make sense, i was writing this while watching some video essays, and also haven't read it

Introduction

Loki is a show, well you know that, but a show that does everything right, until it doesn’t (crazy, I know). If you’re here, I assume you’ll already know a fair bit about it, but if you don’t, here’s a quick refresher. Spoilers for everything MCU.

Loki begins in 2012, technically, just after the Avengers go back through time from Endgame to meet themselves and grab the infinity stones. Unfortunately, the plan goes awri, and Loki ends up in possession of the Tesseract, the mind stone. With this, he teleports to a desert in [a place] and is quickly arrested and apprehended by the Time Keepers for ‘Crimes Against the Sacred Timeline.’ Sounds a bit cult-y if you ask me, and given that you’re stuck here, you will ask me. Essentially, his actions (taking the tesseract) were not supposed to happen. They created a branch, a new timeline, and, according to the TVA, if left unchecked, the timeline could cause a multiversal war that would result in the end of time. This is, to put it simply, a very interesting premise, and the first two episodes do a wonderful job of exploring the TVA and searching for the mysterious Loki variant who causes chaos and mischief, all while evading the time cops.

What is the TVA? Well, it’s the Time Variance Authority, which clears up nothing to those who haven’t seen the show. I would let a clip explaining it play, but I think I’d get a copyright strike, even though I’m fairly sure it’s within fair use. Regardless, the TVA is an organisation supposedly created by the Time Keepers, space lizards who brought together all of time into a singular sacred timeline. Had they not done this, time itself would have ended, how they did this is unexplained, and likely either impossible, or they are greater than gods in their power. Loki is immediately doubtful, but can’t deny that they must hold some power, because not only does his magic not work in the TVA, but infinity stones are useless too. Time is also stranger there too, more an idea as opposed to a set part of their reality. Many theorise that they reside within the quantum realm, which makes sense, as that is how one travels through time, at least in the marvel universe, but we can’t be sure until we get an explanation. Of course, I’m writing this long before I’ll see the finale, so who knows, perhaps I’ll have to rewrite it.

Now I’ve said all that without explaining what the TVA actually does. It’s pretty simple, similar to Stephen Hawking’s (???) ideas of the multiverse, every decision you make has the ability to make another timeline, one that is not part of the sacred way of time, and therefore must be pruned by the TVA before it grows enough to cause another multiversal war, despite multiverses being well-established in the MCU, but I know that’s different. Or perhaps the Time Keepers are lying (spoiler, they are, just not exactly in that way). Anyway, when someone makes a decision or takes an action that creates a new timeline, the TVA arrives. Minutemen arrest the ‘Variant’ responsible, despite their lack of intentional crime, and prune the new timeline, which we are told destroys it. Then Variants must stand trial for their crimes, in which they can either plead guilty or not, but really, that doesn’t make much difference, as they’re unable to make a case, let alone get away as innocent. Before they reach the court, however, Variants are dressed in TVA jumpsuits, have to sign off every word they’ve ever said, and a snapshot of their temporal aura is taken, for some reason. Yeah, it’s not really ever explained why they have to go through all that, like, why don’t they just prune them all, or just send them straight to court. It seems like they’re putting on a big show for nothing. Of course, if you have to go through all that, you probably won’t have time to think about the whys of your situation, which I’m sure the TVA uses to their advantage.

Now, we’re heading into real spoiler-y stuff, just in case anyone here hasn't watched episode three. If you haven’t, why are you here? Go, finish the whole series, and then come back. Alrighty. Now that everyone’s seen it all (apart from me at this point) we can continue.

Everyone working at the TVA is a Variant, and they don’t know it. The Time Keepers are said to have created everything within the TVA, every analyst, Minuteman, and whatever the other roles are. But that’s not true. They’re all variants who’ve been taken from their own timelines and had their memories wiped. This gives an explanation for the courtrooms, and the process to get into them. Robots will be melted from the inside out if they go through the temporal aura machine thingy, and I have a feeling it’s harder to reset a robot’s memories. Living beings are let through, and their actions in the courtroom could give a good overview of their strengths and intelligence, so it can be decided whether they’ll be pruned or ‘reset’ which we are told is killed, but with the information of them all being variants now available, is more likely having all their memories hidden, replaced with the idea that they’ve been at the TVA their whole lives, and that they were created by the timekeepers. Though why would space lizards create workers in the image of humans instead of like their own lizard-y selves. The TVA as a whole, as we are introduced to it, feels very cult-y. Things such as the videos Variants are shown upon being arrested, the whole ‘Sacred Timeline’ thing, the Time Keepers being viewed as almost gods, and that when one of the TVA’s own minutemen is told the truth (C-20) she is, well, removed. The TVA views Variants as criminals of the highest order. How dare they violate the sacred timeline?!!? Only, no variant knew that what they were doing was wrong, or that it even mattered, but if you’re late to work on a day where you weren’t supposed to be, then you’re removed from your timeline and charged. The sentence? Essentially death, or removal of all your memories and being lied to about everything, which might be worse depending on your stance on that kind of thing.

Anyway, the minutemen themselves are another issue that the TVA has. They respond with violence at every available opportunity, like when a young french child from the 1500s walks into a church, the first thing a minuteman does is reach for his weapon. This is also the scene where we’re introduced to my favourite character, Mobius, but more on him later. For now, I need to stay on track and keep in mind this part of the view has to remain consistent. All I can think of are the nerds I split. It seems I have an inability to stay on topic, however, I’m gonna try so you have fun keeping up with that.

Loki stood trial for crimes against the Sacred Timeline and, like any logical person may in that situation, relentlessly questions the validity of his conviction. The answers he’s provided with he just,, kind of,, disagrees with, which is fair. The concept of the TVA and the sacred timeline as a whole is absurd to him, as who would a god serve?

Part one: Glorious Purpose

Loki, in his own words, it ‘Burdened With Glorious Purpose.’ I’m so glad no one but me is gonna read this draft cuz I managed to spell many of those words wrong. His glorious purpose, in his eyes, is becoming the ruler of all, removing free will and choice from those beneath him, in a twisted attempt to make it easy for all living things. He believes in free will, at least, the free will of himself, and also believes that, out of everyone in the universe, he is the one who is right, the one who can make the world better, that is his burden. Now, you may look at that and think, ‘hey, for a god of mischief, that doesn’t seem very mischievous,’ and you’d be right. It isn’t. He’s evil, like, without a doubt, an evil person in his ideals and views of the universe, however, the change from mischief to villainy was rapid, as it’s shown that he was D.B. Cooper, and, when asked, said it was because he was ‘young and lost a bet to Thor’, which, like, okay, but that was the 60s or something. 50 years aren’t a lot in the face of 1,500, but a lot can happen then

Part something: ethics

So, as you’ve probably gathered by now, I’m a pretentious asshole, and with that comes three years of philosophy classes and a superiority complex, though perhaps that comes from the whole leftist thing. Anyway, as per usual, I got sidetracked. I’m watching a really good video atm, so lots of things are happening in my head right now. Back to being pretentious, I’m going to be talking about ethics, fun, and how that relates to the TVA, the sacred timeline, Kang, sorry, he who remains. Regarding the whole Kang thing, I haven’t read a single Marvel comic since I was a member of the comic book club 4(???) years ago. Gods, I’m so old. Yup Percy Jackson took up too much of my childhood. Sidetracked again! I apologise, anyway, everything I know about Kang the Conqueror comes from Tumblr, so I’m not going to spend any time talking about any parts of the character that aren’t shown in the show. I really want to be writing about Doctor Who right now but I have my notes up so I’m gonna do this. Okay, right. Ethics. I hope I don’t go into free will right now because I will never stop going on about that. Anyway, let's look at the TVA, ignoring Kang, not for simplicity, but to see if the ends do in fact justify the means as Mobius said. And by that I mean, if what employees of the TVA think is true, are their actions justified? Finally got to the point, after how many words? Too many, anyway, let’s start from the start (kinda).

In an actual, proper, organised essay, I think that whole last paragraph was supposed to be 1 (one) sentence long, maybe. I have been writing year nine level essays for many years, despite not being in year nine for many, many years, so, be glad you’re reading something I’m interested in. Back to the topic at hand, please. Sorry I just got distracted again. I shouldn’t have Tumblr open atm. Anyway, what are the TVA’s means? So, I’ve already explained what the TVA is, and what it does, but let’s use a fun example to show what they really do. Imagine you’re a kid (or maybe you are a kid, so imagine you’re a younger one) and you just got home from school. You just made an awesome new friend who believes in you and loves your art. This sparks your interest in art, leading to countless pieces, days and days spent drawing and painting and having a great time. Your art begins to take hold on the world, speaking to people, letting them believe in themselves, thousands upon thousands of people inspired to start their own art, to rebel against the system of capitalism and teach people that there’s more to life than a job. This begins the global radicalisation of the working class, and with that, rebellion and the downfall of capitalism. I’m in a good mood rn, feeling optimistic, so don’t worry about what’s happening. Anyway, with the downfall of human exploitation and eradication of poverty comes a branch in the Sacred Timeline, and as the root of it is you as a child making a friend, your 5-year-old self just committed a crime that, according to the TVA, is worthy of what they believe to be actual death, like, being pruned.

Now, this was a very umm, off-the-top-of-my-head example, and entirely makes no sense, but give me two seconds and I’ll remember my original point. Right. The risk of allowing the downfall of capitalism is the end of all time. Always. Maybe? But, in the eyes of the TVA, kidnapping a 5-year-old, putting them through a dehumanising process to be shoved in a courtroom and being accused of crimes against the sacred timeline, and what was the crime? Making a goddamn friend. As a child. Being supported in art. Doing what you enjoy, destroying oppressive systems that will eventually be the downfall of us all and so entwined with all the problems in the world that any chance of saving it revolves around its deconstruction. I’ve been hunched over too long and my back is really starting to hurt, but the essay must go on. And remember, the domino effect of that friendship never actually happened. The timeline was pruned before it could happen, so the crime is literally making a friend. Very extreme example sorry, but shock makes your point go across faster, and also sparks outrage, which I don’t want to happen, but with doing literally anything comes backlash, like stepping on the wrong leaf, or a butterfly. I hope you guys know that this is unplanned and probably unedited. Okay I need to watch Pacific Rim again. Okay imagine now they kill the child. Right. That’s likely what would happen. Children are weak (usually, Sylvie is just on another level of awesome) [author’s note, Crimson Peak is a horror movie and I’m very upset by that cuz now I won’t be able to watch it]. Alright, so, kill a child, or destroy all of time. Always. Maybe. The way we see the TVA in the first two episodes is through Loki’s eyes, as a cult-like lie with a cool retro/futuristic aesthetic (like Doctor Who, but more on that later). I have been sitting here for 4 hours and I can confidently say my cat is an asshole whose sole purpose in life is to want to come in right when I’m in the middle of a point only to not want to come in but allow me to lose exactly what I was about to say, meaning I’ve gotten next to nothing done. Hi, I'm back. I got distracted by My Little Pony and Pacific Rim. And checkers. Issues with pacing? I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Okay, so, I’m going to say something possibly controversial. When the stakes are the endings of the entirety of time, it’s okay to let a child die, and technically they might not die they’d just be sent to be either devoured the void or saved by a ragtag team of loki variants. Which is not great. That might sound like I agree with the TVA, but trust me, I do not. Not in the slightest. I hate the slimy bastards. (I do love every single character though, like all of them are awesome) The prickly pricks will bury us all!!! I don’t agree with them because I think there is a better way to handle the multiversal problem and the issue that arises regarding the particular cause of the multiversal war. That made no sense. You’re really just gonna have to guess at this point, however, for the solution, we must look into the finale and the reasoning behind He Who Remains’ plan. I said I wasn’t going to talk about him, but I lied (rule number one). Basically, from what I understood of his plan (which wasn’t much, I’m pretty stupid) was that there were two options; option number one was to leave him there, looking over all of time, preventing free will, so that the infinite variants of him that would come from timelines wouldn’t once again attempt to conquer all of the timelines (though if there are infinite ones, how would that work? Just kidding, you’re not allowed to question this). He dictates all. There’s no such thing as free will, and if you dare veer off the path, you will be pruned, and your timeline destroyed. His plan is to hand that power over to Loki and Sylvie, because he’s getting old and has lived long enough. The other option (and the one that’s taken in the show) is to allow Sylvie to kill He Who Remains and let the multiverse unfold, allow free will and chaos to reign, with the possibility and established likelihood of the destruction of time itself. Now, just putting this out here, what if there was a third option? My proposition is based of knowing next to nothing and not having seen Loki in a while, and that is,

#loki #loki show #loki series #loki tv show #i don't even know what this is #uhhh i don't think i agree with all the points i made and i also used some very crap example #this is not a good peice of writing and it's from several months ago #if you talk to me about it i won't get back to you.

[hobidreams]

A Bit of Magic

pairing: platonic best friends hoseok x yoongi genre: fluffy fluff words: 1.1k contains: magic au, there is a cat, meow a/n: this drabble is sponsored by a generous anonymous donor to the Black Lives Matter movement!!! get your own fic here.

“I’ve decided.” Yoongi’s drawl comes floating down the stairs with the man himself. He’s holding the same (unopened) white envelope he disappeared with about an hour and a half ago.

“Aaaand?” Sitting at the worn kitchen table, Hoseok’s eyes shine with a sunny hope as he nurses a glass of something clear and bubbly. A few feet away, Jiminie the calico dozes on his favorite pillow.

Yoongi stops short when he reaches the end of the stairs. Promptly lets the envelope thunk into the trash can. “Nope.” Then he plops his butt down on the chair opposite Hoseok’s with just as much decorum.

“First of all, it’s 2020. Recycle.” Hoseok jokes as he twirls his hand and the envelope promptly floats out of the bin, doing somersaults in the air before landing right on the table. Face up, with Yoongi’s name emblazoned across it in jet black script.

Yoongi snaps his fingers. Right back into the trash it goes, though not nearly with the same elegance.

“Hyung.” Hoseok fetches it again, this time placing a spread hand firmly over the mail with now slightly dented corners. “What are you scared of?”

“Fireworks. Heights. Namjoon’s cooking. All rational things.”

“Yet opening a measly little envelope?” Hoseok taps the paper with the tip of his nails and little stars fly out, dissolving on contact with the wood.

Yoongi very pointedly stands up and steps to the kitchen counter. Jiminie opens a lazy eye and gives a small yawn at the movement. “’m not scared,” Yoongi mutters. He looks at the pot that’s simmering away above an artificial fire, then gives it a slow stir with a rotation of his skinny wrist. “Potion almost done?”

“Yeah!” Hoseok’s face brightens, then falls when he joins Yoongi and looks in the mini cauldron. “I think. Maybe. Is it supposed to be that color?” Owl droppings is the polite way of putting it. He ladles a few spoonfuls into a glass and observes the rather chunky texture.

Thing is, Hoseok hasn’t been making concoctions for very long, preferring intuitive or physical magic usually, so the last few experiments have been... very iffy. Yoongi’s far better at the craft, able to whip up brews that even taste good, in addition to being super effective against illnesses. But... Hoseok figures Yoongi won’t always be around to make his potions for him, so he should at least know the basics, right?

“Uhh, depends on what you’re making.”

Hoseok’s mouth opens. He’s about to answer when he thinks better of it. Just grins instead, opening his hand to summon the envelope. With his other hand, he picks up the warm glass. “Hyung. Open this or drink the mystery potion.”

Here comes Yoongi’s familiar scowl as his eyes flick between the two options. In Hoseok’s mind, this is a simple decision. Any rational person would just—

Yoongi grabs the glass and drains the entire damn thing.

“O-Oh s-shit, that’s really hot,” Yoongi sputters out, swallowing hard as he refills the glass with cold water and throws that back too. That leaves him with water dripping down his lips, a slight burn reaching down his throat as he leans against the counter for support.

Well, the good news is that other than adding to a lifetime of potion-related trauma at Hoseok’s hands, Yoongi doesn’t feel very different. He still has two eyes and all his fingers and toes. Nothing is spontaneously growing out of his ass (“it was one time!” Hoseok cries as he watches Yoongi check his backside with suspicion), nor has his hair changed into any outrageous colors.

Hoseok beams, showing all his pearly teeth. “Hey! You’re okay!”

Yoongi does not like the genuine surprise in Hoseok’s tone one bit.

“Was I not supposed to b—meow.”

They both freeze.

Slowly turn their heads to look at Jiminie, who’s gleefully licking himself on the table, blissfully lost in his own world of hairballs.

Hoseok goes first. “D-Did you say...”

“No, I didn—meow.”

Hoseok’s lips quirk up in the way it always does before bellyaching laughter and he quickly slaps a hand over his mouth when Yoongi’s scowl gets even deeper.

“What the fu—meow.” Yoongi’s fists tighten with annoyance. “How do I sto—meow?!”

Hoseok flies to the stove, peering into the murky potion depths. “Oops... Guess some of Jiminie’s hair must have gotten into the pot somehow!” At the sound of his name, the cat perks up, gives a tiny consolation mew of his own.

Yoongi clutches his forehead as if an awful headache is coming on. “See, with shit like this, meow, how am I supposed to leave you all alone?”

“But you’re not? Leaving me?”

Yoongi supresses a meow by swallowing at the same time. “What do you think... is gonna happen if I open that envelope?”

“But hyung, it’s your dream!” Hoseok grabs the letter. “You can’t just keep avoiding it. It’s not going to go away. Besides, I’m sure you got in!”

“But what if that’s not the answer I’m hoping for meow?!”

(Hoseok bites back the fact that it’s starting to sound like part of Yoongi’s regular speech.)

“You’ve been studying for this for so many years. You didn’t even sleep the night before you sent the application in because you were so excited. Trust me, you want this.”

“Fine. Fine!” Yoongi snatches the envelope away. “You want me to leave so badly? I’ll go.” He tears it open, not caring if the paper scrapes harshly against his finger and he could have just used magic. Not like it’d be stable right now anyway. He doesn’t stop until they’re both staring at the words that read ACCEPTED and WELCOME TO BANGTAN WIZARDRY and in that moment, everything becomes real.

“Holy—meow—fuck.”

“You did it!” Hoseok’s a little teary eyed as he crushes Yoongi into a hug. The letter flutters to the ground, any argument forgotten. “I knew you would! Ahhh, hyung, you’re going to university!”

Yoongi swallows, hard.

He forces his arms to move, to return Hoseok’s affection even as disbelief and excitement and fear and too many mixed emotions come surging up just to get stuck in his throat. “H-Hoseok-ah,” he eventually says in a voice so tiny. “I did it.”

“Don’t you worry about me. It’s just a year. Then I’ll be joining you right before you know it.” Hoseok grins as he lets Yoongi go, Jiminie winding his way through both of their legs as he wants to share in the festivities.

“Are you sure?” Yoongi frowns. “Absolutely sure?”

“Hell yes! And if you don’t believe me, I’ll drink the potion too. As proof.”

Turns out, Hoseok made a pretty damn powerful draft. Their meows don’t fade until three days later, but they spend all that time packing and poking fun at each other about the purrs. In between throwing out old broken timekeepers and spent candles, they reminisce about their childhood, then dream about the good days yet to come.

#ficswithluv #bts fluff #hoseok fluff #yoongi fluff #bts imagines #min yoongi #jung hoseok #sope #rain writes #drabble #thank you soooo much for commissioning me & contributing to the cause!

[troolyart]

TSPUD Doodle Post

Read the alt text for descriptions!

#tspud stanley #tspud #tspud fanart #tspud narrator #tspud art #narrator tsp #the stanley parable #artists on tumblr #tsp #tsp narrator #tsp stanley #tsp bucket #tsp timekeeper #well a first draft timekeeper #still in progress

[momiwanabeanautistwhenigrowup]

So here I am. Doing the one thing I have steadily avoided for the last 4 years…somewhat.

I shouldn’t start off this way but fuck I hate writing. And there goes the first impression, etched forever in your subconscious.

She’s not going to be happy about this. Meh.

So I’m a 30 y/o stuck in this hellhole and this is my story? I guess. I mean it’s really ours.

I basically made this account to vent ..uh then I realised I’d have to go all the way back for it to make sense…and I guess my life has always been this series/rpg game so it might take shape in that style. I’m mostly explaining this to myself.

Jump to 2016. I started this biography venture bc in my short 25 years I’d amassed a set of experiences that were not so average middle class life experiences, and not in the good way. Now if you take my story and place it on the backdrop of each life on this earth then, in my opinion, my life is pretty ordinary too. Hence the (reason I tell myself there was a) delay with finishing this biography. Anyway so I sat down to write this thing a total of two times(fucking literary genius) in 2016, sometime in April if I recall correctly. It was horrible but necessary, and then I guess I found magic? And decided to halt production since well…I was busy coming into awareness. I still have the draft on this pc... I stopped when I was 10 years old.

Jump to 2020 and I’m in front of this computer with Tumblr as my backdrop in order for me to feel like I have and audience and therefore someone to talk to (I decided to type this shit out on word before copy pasting to tumblr bc apparently I don’t like living on the edge??)

I’m high as fuck (I would like to say.. but na, I’m just regular high off some freshly home-grown microwaved weed.) anyway this is probably going to be my last indulgent ingestion of the stuff. Hopefully.

Don’t get me wrong, weed isn”t to blame and I have people I can talk to, but the problem is

Everyone

Has

Their

Own

Shit.

None I know has the space. I’m the most equipped to deal with myself. To me, that is deeply unsettling right now. Like… most people don’t even know where to begin and..well..I’ve been here before so I know what to do and honestly it’s fucking shit haha.

And as shitty as I feel, it doesn’t change the fact. I gotta figure this out on my own.

I’m a 30 y/o natural med student in my second year of my 5 year degree. I live at my parent’s house in a relatively good neighbourhood, I have the most comfortable bed, a loving cat, a good-looking bedroom and many middle class luxuries…like an en suite. I have a very comfortable house to live in and there is always food whenever I feel like eating or even just to cook for fun(my talents lie in the kitchen, potions, medicines and treats are my favourite pastimes, I love to nourish people. Don’t let it fool you though.) it’s c o v i d year rn and I don’t pay for shit.. factually, I’m pretty privileged to have all that I do physically.

My parents have always been around in physicality, even when they weren’t there, especially when they weren’t there… which was and still is a lot.  And in rolls one of the overarching themes emerges. Welcome welcome.

I got that far and took a Facebook break, bitch she runnin

So yeah I was born in this bitch back in 1990, two guys got here before me, one 11 years prior, the other 3 years after the first. Then I showed up after our parents reconciled after a 6-month separation. But like…that doesn’t happen in my life till 2019.

I’m currently contemplating piercing my lip or nose but I threw out all of my old jewellery. Geezus, it’s her and she is 22. (side note to myself,  please ignore)

Anyway so yeah I get borned unto these guys; a drummer butalso telephone technician and an accountant, both were raised as worker bees but are actually uh..nope. spoiler one is a caster the other is a timekeeper. Both mages, but they don’t know.

I was this scared to shit little creature of a child. I slept between them once It was safe to do so (I know almost nothing about kids but I’m assuming it’s a safety hazard to sleep next to new-borns? let alone to let them sleep between two people whom are also asleep. Also, I recall sleeping in this white, wooden cot thing which used to chill next to their bed. It opened up like some gates did in those medieval(<-never understood this word tbh) castles, the ones that go vertically up and down. (Yes, I remember. I remember realising I was back on this plane when I was 2 months old, it’s my earliest memory-trust me this becomes highly unimpressive once I turn 23 so hold on before you think I’m lookin for clout on this one). Like I get that that is cute and all, legit I was cradled in safety but like, that cradle started to close in very soon. Too much of a good thing changes poles kids. Leave Jesus alone he wants to have some him time.

So yeah a lot happens that was quite significant during these first 4 years but I don’t remember much but a few glimpses. Bouncing on my dad’s chest, the lounge on a sunny Sunday, mom in a beige coat, long pretty hair, a family vacation where I wore this 2 piece I loved and there was a blue waterslide tube, a fight about racism (early 90s, go figure..but like also 2020 fr) a roller-skating rink, a “haunted” forest walk, Easter…. man that vacation was fun. Most of the things I remember were from age 4 onwards. But I do have snippets of before.. playing dress up with my cousins, hiding in cupboards, hiding behind makeshift tents, maaaaany makeshift tents, talks about camping outside by the pool (oh we had quite a nice sized house with a huge yard and quite a big pool too, I learned to swim when I was two, I spent a lot of time in and around water as a kidling) I spent and remember most of my time with my cousins and being angry at our aunts. I did ballet from the age of 4 as well, I remember my mom asking me if I wanted to do ballet and I said yes, we were in this blue ballet room where one of my cousins was busy with her class. She got here 7 or 8 years ahead of me too.

Idk my childhood was pretty colourful, even today, I remember it being filled with lots of adventure. At least until I started going to crèche, but only for mornings until the other kids got here and it took my mind off of the fact that my mom wasn’t there. I hated it when my mom left me anywhere, I still remember what that felt like and it’s still nauseating despite the fact that I’m about 26 years older now.

also i’m finally posting this now and the high has already worn off. 24 hours to go.

fuck.

#fuck #autobiography #biography #time to whine

[zerogate]

The figure of the kidult exists as a warning that you should not move on to the next step until you’re certain you’re ready.

But this idea of certainty is a sham, a distraction, something to turn your attention away from the only truly certain thing, which is that your time will run out. If you intend to have children, but you don’t intend to have them just yet, you are not banking extra years as a person who is still too young to have children. You are subtracting years from the time you will share the world with your children.

All our conversations about choices and priorities and life decisions are held in the shadow of the great constraint. The closest the discussion usually comes to it is the subject of women’s anatomy, the aging of eggs, the decline of female fertility. Sometimes, for the broad-minded, there may be some mention of the fading quality of men’s sperm, as well. The possibility that it might not happen at all—that a particular body might not be able, or might fall ill, or might die first—is almost unspeakable, and for planning purposes goes unspoken.

Instead, life and the making of more life appears as a technical problem; where the body’s ability to stall falters, cryogenics can take over. Perhaps zygotes can be spun up from ordinary DNA. Science is doing its best to push back the limits. Look to the wealthy and the entitled and see the future: Mick Jagger just sired a baby at age 73.

Now look to the future: when that baby turns 10, Mick Jagger will be 83. When that baby turns 20, Mick Jagger will be 93. When that baby turns 30, 40, 45—Mick Jagger will be almost certainly dead, all but definitely dead, unquestionably dead.

As the child of a spectacularly wealthy man, Mick Jagger’s baby will surely be provided for. But not by its dad, not in person...

There are good reasons to wait, or reasons that appear to be good once you accept the underlying terms. My children have not had to live with parents who are working 15-hour days, the way we worked in our 20s, or who are financially desperate, as we might have been if we’d been paying for children on the salaries of our 20s. Our professional standing allows us to skip work for pediatric appointments or parent-teacher conferences. We can afford to hire babysitters. I got a promotion and a big raise just when it was time to buy a piano. We all sit down together for home-cooked meals most evenings and talk about things.

I hope someday my children can do the same things for their own children. Maybe I’ll see them do it, but maybe I won’t: If my firstborn waits till he’s 35, going on 36, to have a child, the way I did, my grandchild will arrive the year I would turn 71. When that grandchild finishes fifth grade, I’ll be due to turn 81. And that would be the first of my grandchildren.

Are you ready to have a child? Take your age right now and add 18. And nine months, if you want to get particular about it, but call it 18. That’s how old you’ll be for high school graduation. Add 25 and picture yourself traveling to visit your grown-up child in a new city. Add 30. Add 40.

The clock is running, only it’s not a clock: It’s a sandglass. According to the Social Security Administration’s online calculator, an average man born the day I was born can expect to live 34.9 more years, for a total of 82.0 years. When I first checked it, when drafting this piece, it was 35.4. I thought it would be a lighthearted exercise, but I felt real dread as I was entering the birthdate, and, despite myself, shock when I saw how small the number was.

When I was 34.9 years old, I felt like I had just settled into life. What lies ahead is the un-settling, the inverse of the question of when you feel old enough to have a baby: When will your children be old enough to have dying parents? The later you take on your intergenerational responsibilities, the sooner you hand them off. If I hit the Social Security Administration projection, my older son will be 46 when I go...

This world devours every person and moves on. It does not stop moving, even as we pass through the middle of life telling ourselves it is the front end. Before the children arrived, there was not much difference from one year to the next. In some ways, in the adult, professional sphere, there still is not much difference. In a chair, at a computer screen, 47 doesn’t feel that far from 37. A little trouble in the lumbar region, that’s all. Some wiry gray at the temples in the bathroom mirror.

This is the illusion of adult timekeeping, and children make it unsustainable. Life moves along at an unexceptional, unexamined pace and suddenly it’s the first day of school, and then it’s the first day of school again. The jeans I remember just buying him are up above the ankles. The younger boy kisses me back when I kiss him good night, but by last year the older boy started to twist away from holding hands a few yards before the school door, to dart off ahead. Now he just walks to school on his own. There’s time still for him to circle back for a hug at day’s end. Someday, though, a hug will be the last one.

#quotes

[broadhurstblog-blog]

A rough draft/timeline...

Once upon a time, I was a quiet child, who excelled in sports and could string together good sentences every now and again.

I received a certificate at the end of my first year in a boy’s secondary school in East Hertfordshire, by my departing English teacher called Ms Prole. It was certified that I was  ‘Most Daydreaming Pupil.’

I was a child who lived inside his imagination, thought deeply about things. I had a fair amount of friends, most of them being at least two years older than me.

We would break into old bomb shelters, explore hard, found a small woods that contained concrete bunkers, and convinced ourselves we had discovered a secret, disused American airbases. I would go on long bike rides, often finding great secluded bodies of water that contained hard to catch fish. I played for a local bottom of the league football team, on often flooded fields that used to be paddocks.

Then something changed.My granddad died when I was twelve.Losing a wonderfully wise man whose wisdom I took for granted, well, it hit me really hard.My thoughts seemed to constantly focus on death.Over the course of the next year or so, my behaviour changed drastically, I became extremely undisciplined, argumentative, I got suspended from school on several occasions.With the help of an Educational Officer – psychiatrists and psychologists took an interest in me.After a few sessions with various medical professionals, my parents were informed with confidence that I had a condition called manic depression and that it was caused by a  chemical imbalance/ deficiency of a salt in my brain.After being sure that my heart, kidney or liver was free from defects, I was prescribed Lithium Carbonate.

I took the medication most days between the ages of 14 and 18.

At first, my behaviour did not improve, and it was decided that I should spend time in an adolescent unit of the psychiatric wing of a hospital near St. Albans.

It was a very strange place, most of the resident children there were unwanted orphans I seem to remember.

A lot of the nurses were very heavy-handed in their restraint techniques, and doctors loved nothing more than to sedate those of us not willing to take part in various group activities.

The heavy-handed ways, the use of an exclusion room and the sedation syrup, for even the smallest of infractions – it makes me question the ethics and morals of some of the staff, but nothing I was privy to was against the law as far as I can tell. (There has been stories in the news recently about the police investigating historic abuse allegations, I can’t testify to being abused, but it certainly wasn’t the holiday camp that the staff tried to portray to my parents. Maybe the memories of that place would have been a lot worse without a father and mother looking out for me).  

After a couple of months I was back to school.

I was the shadow of my former daydreaming self, but I no longer displayed as much unruly behaviour.

I had lost virtually all my friends, I was increasingly paranoid, socially withdrawn.

I was behind in my school work, and I wasn’t able to catch up.

By the time I was 15 I had the choice of resitting the year or joining another school out of the area 18 miles away, to be in the fourth form where nobody knew me.

So I opted to leave a pretty decent boys-only comp with a Christian ethos, to go to a mixed comp that used to be a grammar school, but which had become a third-rate egalitarian mess.

It is safe to say that I did not respond well to the lowering of educational standards. By the final term of my second attempt at being a fourth form pupil, I was ‘asked to leave’.

I left the school at the age of 16, without any experience of the fifth form. I went to the regional college for two years and completed a couple of NVQ modules in I.T.  

I spent most of my college time in the library or playing basketball in the gym.

The point here is that I am not convinced I was mentally ill.

Maybe I was, but I do not think that medication/psychiatric treatment helped me.

The major thing that helped me become a less self-destructive force was *time*.

The death of a close family member really haunted my mind, and I did not know how to deal with it.

My childish poetry turned dark and very cryptic, unfortunately, the caring adults in my life who were interpreting my private words without my permission, they were totally off the mark in concluding that my prose was a sign of me being suicidal. I was certainly crying out for help, but my words were actually full of fear about death, not a single syllable expressed a desire to die.

I wasn’t sleeping much, and prolonged lack of sleep can affect behaviour a lot,

I stopped playing football,

I stooped going on adventures,

I stopped daydreaming.

Lack of exercise can cause serious problems, especially in a child who was once very active.

Add puberty to the mix. . .

I do not think Lithium was the answer to whatever was happening. And how did the medication affect the development of my fragile brain?

I guess that question is impossible for me to ever answer.

I was lucky to have a good family GP who was close to retirement, a doctor from an older generation who was in agreement with me that I would be better off without medication.

As soon as I was eighteen he helped me gradually decrease my doses until I was on the medication no more.

I lacked a lot of confidence, but had no problem finding work with the occasional kick up the backside from my father.

After running into a few dead ends, I eventually became a cellarman/barman in an unusually well run small family pub that was slightly off the beaten track.

In my mid-twenties I moved to Manchester with my licensee certificate in hand, but instead of running a pub, I ended up working in a mind-numbing call centre on behalf of a royal Scottish bank.

By the age of 30, I was a homeowner.

On paper, things seemed good. I heard from a reliable source that my parents were proud of me.

I was unhappy. The relationship with my supposed future wife was on the rocks. I was tired of being a battery chicken trying to get people into debt. I was drinking too much. I had put on a lot of weight. I think I might have been slightly depressed.

Then one evening there was a TV show on, presented by Stephen Fry, it was about living with Bipolar Disorder (The new name for manic depression.)

I think it was on at about the same time that the disability discrimination act came into force.

I was struggling with timekeeping and discipline at work.

Home life was not happy. I was a little drunk and somehow became convinced it was a good idea to talk about my ‘mental health history’ with my partner, and to my manager at work the next day.

Things went downhill very quickly from there.

I went to a doctor, got referred to a psychiatrist.

After a 30 minute consultation, it was decided that I had a mild version of ‘Bipolar II’ And Lithium Carbonate was being prescribed to me. It didn’t agree with me, and I abruptly stopped taking it. Bad idea.

I was a mess. After about 2 years I had split with my partner, mindlessly took my name off the mortgage agreement. I struggled to stay in regular work because of my erratic self-destructive behaviour. I was on benefits for a couple of years.

Eventually, I got a job as an assistant manager, in a betting shop of all places. It was an interesting few years, but working for a morally challenged employer can eventually take its toll on one’s spirit.

This is when I ‘gave up’. I would get a sick note from my local medical centre once a month, claiming I was depressed, etc.I started claiming Employment Support Allowance and Housing Benefit because of my supposed ‘disability.’.The money was more than enough to exist on as part of a house share in a diverse student area in south-central Manchester. At some point a cannabis smoker moved into the house I was barely existing in.It didn’t become long before an occasional toke turned into a regular habit. It took a year or so, but I eventually became undoubtedly mentally ill. I was not self medicating, I smoked weed because I enjoyed smoking it, I loved getting ‘high.’  

My behavior gradually started changing for the worse over the course of about half a year. I went to doctors complaining of anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia etc. I told them about my cannabis habit too. The young funky doctor referred me to a young hip psychiatrist, who after 5 minutes of questions, decided that   Quetiapine may be the answer to my woes. I wasn’t getting any better, and I gradually stopped taking the medication. I started smoking cannabis again.    

I was under the influence of what I’ll call acute mania not long after reading ‘The Cameron Delusion.’ I am fortunate that was the last book I read before I became undeniably mentally ill.

At the height of my illness, it was like I was inside a vivid daydream like I was fast asleep and wide awake at the same time. It is hard to explain. I was aware I was ill though, I sought help. It was eventually decided I should be sectioned, and I disagreed, so a bunch of health workers accompanied by police officers came to my front door. One policeman with impeccable customer service skills informed me I would have to be restrained with cuffs for my own safety, and I was escorted into the back of a police van. The police chauffeured me to the hospital, where I became a reluctant resident/client in a locked ward for about 6 or 7 weeks.

I was forced to take a cocktail of 4 mind-altering drugs on a daily basis. A psychiatrist would see me for about five minutes, once a week. I was told after the sixth or seventh short consultation that I could be released under the condition that I carried on taking the drugs. A social worker visited me on two occasions in the two months after my release from the hospital. Assured I was taking the medication, the visits stopped. I didn’t mention to the social worker that I was gradually lowering the doses I was taking. Within days of the last visit, I had eventually weened myself of the medication completely. It took several months, but eventually, I got a job.

And I have been well, in full-time employment for about a year now, without any problems.

I don’t use cannabis anymore either of course.

And I haven’t knowingly talked to a doctor since my time in the hospital.Mind-altering drugs just do not agree with me.

#mental health #psychiatry #nhs #cannabis #lithium

[alinelll]

Russia’s oldest kart track renews itself

Karting in Russia, of course, is less popular than football, for example, but many people love Formula 1 races. Especially when Sochi has its own formula track. Not surprisingly, the interest in karting has rather increased. There are plenty of karting tracks in Russia, but some tracks are so ancient that they require a complete renovation. But it’s not easy to do when the track is overloaded with training. And since last winter we have problems with COVID-19. This unexpected pause was good to start a complete renovation of one of the oldest karting track in Zelenograd - the north of Moscow. Text Ekaterina Sorokina Alexey Moiseev, representative of the RAF Trails Committee, kindly agreed to comment on the situation with the renovation. Why Zelenograd? «There are 50 percent of riders from Moscow at the Russian Championship, and they don’t have an opportunity to train at home. It turns out that the nearest comfortable track for training is Atron in Ryazan. And it’s about 200 km from Moscow to Ryazan. The stages of the children’s championship were held at Zelenograd more than once, but in fact there was nothing there except the track. Only the road and forest around. The karting teams even had to bring generators to make electricity for their needs. Instead of the tribune - a small elevation, and instead of premises for the technical commission and KSK - a couple of tents. However, all this is already in the past. The Moscow government allocated funds for the construction of a two-story building with a tribune, a briefing room, a commentator’s booth, a timekeeping room, a judging brigade and a secretariat. Convenient team boxes for 60 cars have been built. Sufficient electricity capacity has been supplied, distribution boards have been installed, all communications have been tucked underground, the track and parkparking area have been illuminated, showers and toilets have been made, a cafe is planned. New safety barriers have been installed in the track, safety zones have been improved. The track configuration has remained unchanged, all unique descents and ascents, elevation changes have been preserved. At the moment, finishing work is still underway, but already in June the first competitions are planned - June 12 - Moscow Championship and June 18 - Russian Championship in children’s classes - Micro, Mini, Super Mini, OK Junior».

Zelenograd Karting Track, Firsanovskoye Highway, Nazaryevo village. https://www.gbutalisman.ru And how about KZ-2? «It’s possible. But it’s very hard. For KZ-2 it turns out about 7000 gear changes per race. Therefore, it was decided not to hold the stage of the adult championship in Zelenograd this year. In addition, the tires became faster, the cars went faster. That is why, as I said earlier, we had to work seriously on the safety zones in the track. And, of course, in the renovation process we are guided by the rules and requirements of the CIK-FIA. This is a unique track, it has no analogues. For Mini and Super Mini, a particular difficulty lies in the fact that if you make a mistake in one turn, then you will not get into the next turn. All our famous racers learned to ride on this track - Mikhail Aleshin, Daniil Kvyat, Sergey Sirotkin, Viktor Shaitar». Sounds great! I hope this year we will see the updated Zelenograd and will not be disappointed. But this is not the only track that has been renovated in Russia? «Of course! For the last few years, a number of updates have been carried out at the country’s karting circuits. The oldest track named after L. Kononov in Kursk received a new loop. And there was also built a tribune with all the necessary premises and expanded the parkparking area. The road surface on the Lemar track in Rostov-on-Don was renewed. In Sochi, at the Plastunka karting track, all technical flaws were eliminated to improve security zones, unnecessary buildings were removed, and fences were installed. This year, the first stage of the Championship will take place on a completely new track, Fortress Groznaya in Chechnya. But I personally haven’t gone there yet».

“ALL OUR FAMOUS RACERS LEARNED TO RIDE ON THIS TRACK - MIKHAIL ALESHIN, DANIIL KVYAT, SERGEY SIROTKIN, VIKTOR SHAITAR.” ALEXEY MOISEEV Renovation is quite good. But are there any plans to build completely new karting circuits? «There is. This is the South direction again - Gelendzhik city. Hermann Tilke made a draft of the route on our order. We have been finalizing it for a long time, making adjustments, now the project has already been approved. A sidetrack for the Micro class was made, as well as a sidetrack for training on 4-stroke machines. At the moment there is an agreement on communications, the allocation of sufficient electrical power. They also need to comply with noise standards, if necessary, put noise-absorbing barriers. There is funding. The main points are agreed. Construction is planned to take 2 years. In addition to the track, the necessary premises and an equipped parkparking area, it is planned to build a hotel for karting drivers and even an exhibition hall». Read the full article

[ghostliied]

frailfire?

( ✦ ✦ — Let me validate people ; accepting ✦ ✦ ✦ ) | Mobile

My Opinion on;

Character in general: Honestly, when I first started to RP Red so long ago, I came to realise that Fire, is in fact, NOT Red at all. Like I had the general understanding that or Red and Fire are not the same thing. but for me, it was more on the idea that??? they could be?? in the same universe?? like that for me was something that I found really hard. IDK why? I jut dissociated them so much that it got to the point where I simply didn’t like Fire? Another reason for me disliking the muse was because I just didn’t like him as a character concept. IDK. I guess there were some that caused him to be an “alternate” or “UNDERDOG”  version of Red and I was like no please stop.. um?? no?? Like idk how to explain. Fire and Red are two completely different people, and most people were like well Red is nonexistent to Fire. while others just thought that Red and Fire came from different generations and wouldn’t have kNOWN of each other.  That and like… the personalities were so vastly different imo that I just couldn’t comprehend Fire as a muse???? Like there were so many things happening that I just shut myself out from considering Fire. I was SO (and still am at times) dissociated with Fire because I just didn’t have any good reason to attempt any interaction. Like I am sorry to say that, but it’s the truth and I hate it, but I genuinely always have a hard time trying to like a Fire muse because people aren’t vary forward or clear about wtf is happening. Like to me sometimes I feel like Fire is a canonised/glorified self-insert. and I’m like??? please help me understand this boi, is he a canon character? is he an OC? like what is his story line? where tf does he fit in life and in general.

How they play them: So you know How I just took the time to literally question everything about Fire above? yea well allow me to say that while I still question him, I still think what YOU have for Fire makes me appreciate the fact that you took the time to sit down with him and be like “yo i wanna write Fire today.” Like?? Idk if that makes sense but no really, I’m terrible with reading the interactions, but I LOVE reading up on his bio a lot, it makes me genuinely happy and proud that you wrote it because it’s clearly written in a way where i’m like, wow this is actually something I can follow? And for somebody who was able to hold the path steady and show me the way, I’m very appreciative for it. Because yes, please I want to read more about Fire’s history and I would actually love to write with Fire now that I have SOME understanding of him. granted, I’m still confused, but at least I am not confused to all hell and you’ve written Fire in an understandable way for me. I thank you.

The Mun: Yo, the mun?? I love the mun lol. Ye buddy, I do actually appreciate you lol. I mean, it’s also been how long since we last talked and I mean even remotely saw once another on the dash?? oh WAIT, pulling up my Red blog now, I can see that… you commented on this post here… AND IM LAUGHING SO HARD. YES HELLO WELCOME TO ANGST LAND. and THEN, looking back on your tag on my moon blog… and…. WAIT IM SCREAMING WTF THIS AU RIGHT HERE HOW COME THIS WAS NEVER A THING OMFG SO HELP ME I WILL LOG BACK ONTO MOON FOR THIS AU PLEASE. I know its not for Fire but like…??? also??? I love the fact that we haven’t really interacted or talked much ooc but??? like??? idk??? jsladhfdfs honestly I think I need to be reminded on what exactly we have done like RP wise because I didn’t think we spoke much to begin with and??? shfd while I really did appreciate you, we also never really got the chance to like… FORMALLY sit down and talk. It’s sad but I’m now happy cause now we are talking and interacting again and I never realised that you wanted to do something with me like alghfdbsl omg /)~(\ If I had known then I would have probably come in your ims to bother you 24/7. You just seem like such a chill and sweet friend and im??? honestly??? I really do enjoy your presence though. Its why I write a lot for you because i want to show you how much I appreciate the fact that you took the time to write your muses and whatnot. Like hello, you have really good ideas. So well thought out. You’re so funny too and super lax and chill and im??? I only wish I knew you better friend!! I hope you know that you’re more than welcome to come and msg me anytime. :) like stahp being so mysterious lolol its a bit of a wonky ‘do I approach you or should i wait for you to approach me’ and we have this mutual thing going on but idk how to describe it in words. But yes. Many much good and quality and all of the things.

Do I:

RP with them: yea I have yet to make a reply for Calem. OPPPS. I have bad timekeeping. I SWEAR i have it drafts i am so so SO sorry its taking me forever to do a simple reply. Life is saying fuk yu unfortunatel.y

Want to RP with them:  OMG FLAILS MY ARMS BACK IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION ABOVE TO SHOW THAT LONG WRITTEN AU POST I LINKED. *coughs* yes.

What is my;

Overall Opinion: yes, good, den/den. Much amaze. Such Quality. I’m love. I’m also really happy that we are actually talking, I’m sorry I’ve been a shy bean. but yea, honestly, at this point, I’d follow you on any blog of mine. yus. huggles you tightly.

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty

#long post #mobile #( ✦ — a water ripple ; answer ) #frailfire #opps did I say let me validate you? #yea so that's exactly what I did I think #I wrote you an essay because i love you #stay beautiful