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#we said we hated humans. we wanted to be humans. etc.
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Why Did So Many People Hate Aziraphale?
When the ending of Season 2 happened the majority of the fandom lost their collective shit. They went utterly bananas. A main theme that I kept coming across was the strange and insulting sentiment that Aziraphale "rejected Crowley" or that Aziraphale "chose heaven over Crowley" or that Aziraphale "Was an arse for leaving Cowley", etc.
When I finally got around to rewatching Season 1 of Good Omens and then watched Season 2 of Good Omens and finally saw some context for the ending, I was/am even more baffled as to why people were so cruel to Aziraphale.
Why had they failed to hear what Aziraphale said to Crowley? Why hadn't anyone taken a moment to realize that Aziraphale respected Crowley's choice to not return to Heaven with him? Why did the collective fandom just completely ignore the WORDS, ACTIONS, and EMOTIONAL RESPONSES that Aziraphale expressed in the heartbreaking finale?
Maybe it was the simple fact they just couldn't cope with what they saw. Maybe the fandom needed someone to blame other than Neil Gaiman himself. Or maybe, the fandom just failed to take a moment to carefully comb through and observe the small, tiny details that are far more important than the big, dramatic moments that fill up the runtime.
However, what I noticed most is the total disregard for Aziraphale's lines in the last scene between Crowley and Aziraphale in season 2 episode 6. So this is where I'll Start.
HE WORDS:
Some of his dialogue was/are as follows:
"He said I could appoint you to be an angel. You could come back to Heaven and... and everything, like the old times. Only, even nicer."
"But Heaven...well, it's the side of truth, of light, of good"
"Come with me...to heaven. I'll run it, you can be my second in command. We can make a difference"
"Crowley, come back, to heaven! Work with me! We can be together! Angels..doing good!"
"I...I need You!"
"I...I forgive you"
Do these lines of dialogue give any indication that he rejected Crowley, or chose Heaven over Crowley, or that Aziraphales was being an arse?
No, they do not. These lines of dialogue clearly show that Aziraphale WANTS to be with Crowley so they BOTH can be angels DOING GOOD and MAKING A DIFFERENCE. Aziraphale wanted Crowley to be redeemed so that he could join Aziraphale in Heaven and be on the side of TRUTH, LIGHT, and GOOD.
Aziraphale didn't want to leave Earth WITHOUT Crowley, however, he was forced to because Crowley rejected AZIRAPHALE'S offer to come back to heaven. So instead of forcing Crowley to come back to Heaven with him, even after the awkward kiss, Aziraphale decided to let him go and sacrificed his happiness to SAVE THE WORLD FROM HEAVEN!!!!
It was not easy for Aziraphale to leave Crowley or even Earth or even his bookshop. HE sacrificed EVERYTHING so he could fix heaven's broken system and stop God and the Angels and Metatron from repeatedly trying to destroy the Earth just to win a dick-measuring contest with hell.
Aziraphale doesn't like war. He despises war due to witnessing the rebellion in heaven AND watching the humans go to war and kill each other repeatedly for over 6,000 YEARS. What Aziraphale did was something nobody will ever be able to understand until they find themselves in Aziraphale's shoes.
It's not easy being an angel, who has been forced to "bear witness" and "not intervene in human affairs" because doing so will go against God's "Great Plan" which may or may not be a part of God's "Ineffable Plan".
Aziraphale cannot stand by and let Heaven destroy all life on Earth. Of course, he knows that Heaven isn't all truth, light, or good. He knows Heaven is broken and needs to be reformed. He knows that Crowley is right about Heaven being toxic. Just because he knows that Heaven is toxic and not as truthful, enlightened, or good doesn't mean he's not somewhat in denial.
It's not easy being trapped and suffocated by a cult-like institution whose sole purpose is to keep you from leaving the said institution. It's not easy watching humans committing atrocity after atrocity, and not being able to stop it. It's not easy watching God kill innocent people and children just because they can't get along.
Aziraphale has struggled to figure out what, "doing the right thing" is and how far he's willing to go along Heaven's/God's plans of destruction until he just can't anymore. All Aziraphale has had to keep him going along with Heaven's/God's plans is his faith that Heaven/God knows what they're doing and that complete destruction and devastation will never truly come to pass. Only to find out later that Heaven and God don't necessarily see eye to eye and that God themselves are super unreachable, even in a time of crisis.
Aziraphale has done EVERYTHING he was told and more and it still wasn't enough to keep another armageddon from happening. Since he can't completely stop it on earth, he HAS to return to heaven and find a way to stop it from happening from there, which may prove fruitful and pointless.
What most fans didn't register or realize is the fact that Aziraphale chose to return to heaven for very UNSELFISH reasons. A part of him knew Crowley might say no to returning to heaven with him, so he decided that if that was the case, then he would let Crowley go, so that he, Aziraphale, could fix heaven and permanently SAVE THE WORLD... something he CANNOT do if he stayed on Earth.
Why is this so hard for some fans to see and/or consider? Why is this something only a few fans actually talk about? Why was there so much Aziraphale hate when there shouldn't have been?
It's not Aziraphale's fault that he couldn't stay with Crowley. It's HEAVEN'S fault that Crowley and Aziraphale can't be together because they (Heaven) are too war-minded and emotionally stunted to realize how many innocent people will die just because they want to measure dicks with Hell.
HIS ACTIONS:
The second thing I noticed happened a lot was the initial total disregard for Azirphale's body language and/or actions during the last scene of Crowley and Aziraphale in the final episode of Good Omen Season 2.
Throughout the scene, we see Aziraphale exhibit the following nonverbal cues:
---initial happiness
---confusion
---Distress
---Anxiousness
---restless hand movements
---pacing back and forth
---sadly looking around the bookshop
--etc.
These nonverbal cues show us that Aziraphale went from being extremely happy to an emotional wreck, especially after the awkward kiss.
Aziraphale excitedly told Crowley about his promotion expecting Crowley to be happy for him (Aziraphale), only for Crowley to grow irritable and angry. Which confused Aziraphale and slightly angered him, yet he still somewhat understood Crowley's response.
As the scene goes on you can tell that Aziraphale is desperately trying to keep Crowley from leaving at first, but relents after the awkward kiss and fully accepts he lost Crowley for now.
Aziraphale really wanted Crowley to say "yes", however, it did not pan out that way. So Aziraphale just gradually quieted down, shorted his verbal communication, and tried his best NOT to have a complete emotional breakdown in front of Crowley.
Not once did Azirphale exhibit any controlling behaviors or actions. When Aziraphale and Crowley came to an impasse and Crowley ultimately left, Aziraphale didn't even go after Crowley. He let Crowley go because going back to heaven to fix it and stop the second Armageddon was more important than fixing his relationship with Crowley, and because Aziraphale knew that when everything calmed down, and the 2nd coming was adverted, and there were no more threats then maybe he would be able to have a proper long talk with Crowley and explain why he did what he did and said what he said.
HIS EMOTIONAL RESPONSES:
Some fans also didn't really register how many emotional responses Aziraphale had in the last scene with Crowley in the season 2 finale.
Aziraphale went from ecstatic and happy to confused and slightly angry, to confused, overwhelmed, and heartbroken.
He started the scene excited and ecstatic about his job promotion and he was nearly exploding with joy when he initially told Crowley the "good" news. Only to become confused and a little angry that Crowley didn't seem happy for him and flat-out yelled at him.
At first, Aziraphale is stubborn and confused at Crowley's response to the supposed good news, yet he still listens to Crowley who eventually can somewhat incoherently say that he loves Aziraphale and wants to be an us.
As the scene progresses Azirapale starts to restlessly fidget, heavily breath, and frantically look around as he realizes that the conversation is south faster than the sinking of the Titanic. You can see on his face that he's trying to understand what Crowley is trying to say however, he just can piece it together that well.
Aziraphale understands that Crowley does indeed truly love him. However, Aziraphale also realizes that he too loves Crowley in return and is now getting increasingly overwhelmed to the point that he can't form coherent words.
During the awkward kiss scene, you can see that Aziraphale slightly and very briefly goes to hold/caress Crowley's shoulder right before the rough parting between him and Crowley. At this point, Aziraphale is confused as to why the kiss happened, is overwhelmed by the fact he kind of liked and wanted another one but it simply wasn't the right time, and is heartbroken that he has to leave Crowley, but he doesn't know for how long.
CONCLUSION:
Throughout the entire scene, Azirphale actually struggles with Crowley's disappointment and anger in response to Aziraphale's job promotion, with the idea of leaving Crowley and returning to heaven alone, and with how the hell he is supposed to cope, let alone function without Crowley to talk to.
Nowhere in the scene does it suggest that the decision to return to heaven was easy or simple for Aziraphale. He struggled like bitch and was still left for heaven heartbroken and without Crowley.
Yes, the ending was sad, but there shouldn't have been Aziraphale hate in the first place.
So I leave you with this:
So why the fuck was there so much Aziraphale hate?
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peachjagiya · 1 day
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You know seeing last years content like weverse lives , karmy comments etc, BB about recording songs & thinking about JK's personality, I don't think Jk like to spend time in hybe building other than official work 🤭🤭 I think he records most of the songs at his own recording studio at his home. I believe that Jk doesn't like Hybe's comporate environment🤭 to inspire his musical creativity so home is the best place to do that. Same with Tae , I think that's why he went to Jk's house to record the song.
You know, I've thought the same thing before.
Disclaimer: I'm still baby army. This is just my reading, my opinion and my take as a little army. Please challenge it in the comments if you feel like I'm misguided here.
When I first started reading blogs and twitter last year, there were lots of JK-antis accusing him of being Bang PDs fave, getting preferential treatment, etc.
It didn't take long to realise that criticism feels more like just a twisting of the Golden Maknae idea which in my opinion is a character for convenience that doesn't allow for being imperfect complicated humans. (I can ramble further about how those easy archetypes contribute to toxic fan environments but that's off topic.)
So I don't really see that he gets preferential treatment at all. His career goals and music style are highly marketable so maybe it gives that impression? Tangentially, I don't like how "preferential treatment" discredits how hard he works or how talented he is.
With that in mind, it occurs to me JK's relationship with The Company is no more close than anyone else and could be quite complex. It is all he's ever known from a very tender formative age which could contribute to a little more reticence to be Tae levels of honest about it... but you can tell how much JK has matured by how he thinks now, how he's finding autonomy and finding his voice to defend himself in ways that might not be a PR manager's dream. He's clear he wants his life to be his own.
The more I learn about him, and how he and Tae were considering not re-signing, it makes me wonder if the sheen came off the company a bit. As it would as the pressure piled on, as their hot air balloon went into the stratosphere.
All this said, I don't think there's a big JK hates the company conspiracy. Maybe he's weary of the trappings of it. Naturally it's probably always going to represent the bits of his life he has no control over and it only makes sense that he'd be happier in private spaces. Is that just getting older? Is that what we all feel about our workspace?
I identify strongly with a guy who'd rather be at home, to be honest 😂
Thanks anon! 💜
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hellhoundlair · 1 year
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do NOT listen to beach life and death while having wincest brain. worst mistake of my life
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bylertruther · 2 years
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"there's no basis or case to be made for will having powers" okay then genuinely please explain any of the following now after watching season four:
why does the upside down look like hawkins and is presumably stuck on the day will arrived despite the fact that vecna was there first and has been residing there this whole time? if vecna was capable of reshaping the world, as he's stated he wants to do, why hasn't he done it in his own world? why is he so intent on seeking out the person for whom time apparently stopped if it's all just coincidence? if will didn't do that and he doesn't have powers, then why didn't time progress or the setting change once the teenagers got there? why was time only influenced by will and will alone if he has no powers whatsoever?
how was will able to call joyce multiple times? the only person we've seen so far be able to do something similar is eleven when she would channel what she heard through the radio. electricity doesn't work in the upside down, so how did will do that? why did it cause a shock and ruin the phone, the same way that the radio went up in flames when eleven did it, if he doesn't have powers?
how did he manage to wake joyce up at one point? (it could've been her imagination, but the show made it pretty clear that joyce had been right about everything the entire time even though everyone thought she was crazy, and will was wearing the same outfit but he looked and sounded distressed + exhausted like he may have been while hiding in his upside down version of the house.)
how was will able to see his mother and guide her with the lights to the place he was hiding?
how was will able to see the letters she wrote on the wall?
how was will able to light up the lights that fast and sometimes simultaneously? especially with the lights that were on the ceiling? the way he communicated with joyce isn't totally similar to the way the teens communicated with the party in season four. he's too short to reach the ceiling and he doesn't have elasti-arms or super speed, so he couldn't have been touching that many lights that fast all by himself with his own hands. if anything, it's more similar to the training exercise brenner had the lab kids do, because they didn't need to touch the lights (obviously) to control them. so, how do you explain that if he has no powers?
how did he acquire true sight before his possession? the doctors thought it was ptsd and all in his head, but just like with joyce, we come to learn that will had been right the entire time. the mind flayer was real and it was coming for them all and eventually it did. how did he know that? how could he have had such knowledge before it ever melded minds and bodies with him? no other powerless human could do that, so how do you explain it?
if will is truly a powerless human being, why did vecna hunt him down? we know that vecna stalks his prey before he strikes. we know that "the monster" followed will from mike's house all the way to the shed where they vanished without a trace. we then saw it stalk will again and eventually possess him. will said that vecna wanted to kill everyone else, but not him. why? we know that vecna doesn't care about people. so what did will have that he wanted so bad? what was it about will that made him more valuable to vecna—a self-perceived god among useless, pitiful, and brutish men—alive than dead? what was it about will, a supposed powerless and normal human boy, that made vecna want to spare him and use him? if he wanted access to the lab, weapons, or tools that could bring down entire nations and rendered millions around the globe defenseless to his attack, then he wouldn't have picked a sweet twelve year old boy who lives a tiny little life in a tiny little town who just wants to hang with his friends and play games. unless... he was the key to achieving his plans? but according to this argument that will is just a normal boy, why is it then that vecna did all of that if will isn't capable of anything?
additionally, we know that gates are opened with a psychic connection. when the psychic connection was made in that shed, will entered the upside down. there, he was hunted for a week. why did the demogorgons kill and eat everyone else, but never will? why did they only carry him to the library aka the source of it all? why didn't they treat him roughly or eat him like they did all of the others? will didn't suffer any serious damage from the upside down, so he couldn't have been "dead" for long when his parents found him. why was it different with him? why did he get special treatment even in hell if he's just a boy?
why does will still sense the creatures of the upside down even after he's been exorcised? how is it that the psychic connection is still there? how is he still able to know what vecna is feeling, the kind of state that he's in, and what it is that he's planned? how does he have this connection still even though he shouldn't if he's Just Some Guy?
if will was just a normal, powerless boy... then why did a self-proclaimed god try so hard to recruit him more than once? why did it hunt only him? why did this god want to kill everyone but him? why did this god deem him more worthy and useful in life and at his side than in death? why did it seek him out and not eleven, a girl who actually has powers, powers that were once stronger than his own even and that he clearly wanted as we saw in s3? why is the upside down stuck on the day will went missing, despite it clearly being inhabited by other creatures that we assume to be more powerful than him? why is will going to be central to season five, the season where it will all come to a close and we'll be learning about the upside down and more, if... he's Just Some Guy that had to brave it for a week and that's it? why did season four (and the show overall, but said outright and explicitly here in 4x09) reiterate that it has always been vecna and that will has always been his victim/in his sights/connected to him? why did vecna choose will byers, who some of you claim to be Just Some Boy, of literally all people on planet fucking earth to achieve his plans?
vecna stalked will. he hunted him. and when his plans were foiled, he tried again. when he couldn't do it his way, he sought to kill eleven so that he could absorb her powers (s3). and now, they're back in each other's heads. the silver cat fed when blue met yellow in the west, but they're back now and we've been told that this is only the beginning. if will is just another powerless human, then what is the point of any of that? how do you explain everything that we've seen? how do you explain the choices these characters have made and continue to make? how do you explain away the connection that they keep drawing our eyes to? the connection that shocked the duffers and made them ask jamie if he'd seen the scripts when he brought it up (that it all goes back to will, how everything and everyone is connected to will)? the connection that they themselves are saying we'll see clearly in season five?
that isn't even scratching the surface of all the obvious instances where they make it clear that will is vecna's narrative foil, because that would make this already gargantuan post thirty miles longer.
they wouldn't have done everything that they've done over the span of multiple seasons now if it was just for nothing.
it doesn't make sense if will is just some normal kid and a random fluke in the master plan. the writers could've had vecna pick anyone. they could have made it so that will's connection was severed or lessened, but they didn't. they could've admitted that will was just a meaningless casualty, but they didn't because he wasn't. it wasn't a random animal that took will, he wasn't possessed for shits and giggles, and he doesn't continue to have that psychic connection for no reason. they don't tell us that nothing is a coincidence and they don't have the characters themselves remind us that they need will just for it to be... nothing.
will knows what's coming, what's happening, and the condition of the person who will do it all. why have him experience all of that, and even be able to in the first place, if he's... powerless? how do you even explain the connection in the first place? no other character, not even the ones cursed by vecna, are able to do what he's done. how is that not considered a power? and how do you write off the hours of content that you've witnessed as nothing?
clearly, at some point you have to realize that something is going on, no? like, you don't even have to take my (one-too-many) word(s) for it. jamie and the duffers themselves have been saying it over and over again. so... honestly, what's not clicking?
#like i just genuinely don't get it lol#vecna is a big bad and you think he hunted this tiny nerdy little twelve year old for shits n giggles?#you think the writers are making will a main point in their final season and are saying that we're going to learn so much more about#why the upside down is stuck on the day he went missing just to be like 'oh yeah jk it's nothing LOL'#you think that vecna jus went 'lol sure why not' and picked a child with no connections no powers no nothing just because?!?!#like literally WHAT#VECNA LITERALLY HATES HUMANS HE DOESNT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THEM SO WHY DID HE NOT WANT TO KILL WILL?!?!?!#why did he value will more than EVERYONE else!?!?!? IF HE'S JUST NORMAL?!?!?!?!#literally explain it to me genuinely bc i don't understand lol this is season five that we're headed into#i didn't think will had powers beyond his beast sense bc we weren't given any indication otherwise#but now that we know there was A Guy planning everything that it wasn't just random chance but A Person who is manipulative and cunning#and deceptive and ambitious and who is behind EVERYTHING THAT WE'VE SEEN SINCE THE VERY BEGINNING#and now that we know how the lights work and that that realm is stuck on the night will went missing and that gates are formed with psychic#connections and that will STILLLLLLLLL knows what he feels etc etc i just . I Just Don't Get It i don't get how you can think#there's nothing there? especially when the creators of the show are telling you he'll be a major focus? IN THEIR LAST SEASON?!#but no im sure its nothing. will did all those inexplicable things and the mastermind big bad chased him and wanted to spare him and use#him for shits and giggles or because the cuteness aggression was too much lol it means Nothing At All obviously#crazy together was in their auditions they Knew what they were going to do with will they're telling us that it MEANS something that the#upside down is STUCK on the day WILL went missing will spent all of season one trying desperately to go home he went to his house and his#castle to hide and joyce said that emotions can make time go really fast or really slow and one day vecna said Enough and stopped the cloc#k himself he created his own powers the duffers TOLD USSSS that it MEANS SOMETHING THAT THE UPSIDE IS STUCK ON THAT DAY#AND THAT WILL IS GOING TO BE A BIG FOCUS AND WE'LL BE GETTING ANSWERS AND THAT WILL AND VECNA HAVE HISTORY#WILL DID EVERYTHING RIGHT TO TRY AND ESCAPE BUT NOTHING WORKED AND THE FOUR VICTIMS IN S4 DID THE SAME THING#THAT WAS VECNA IN THE SHED WILL HAD A CONNECTION WITH HIM BEFORE HE WAS EVER POSSESSED WILL WAS STALKED THE SAME WAY THAT THE VICTIMS WERE#STALKED WILL IS ABLE TO DO THINGS THAT OTHER CHARACTERS CANNOT INCLUDING ELEVEN HE HAS EXPERIENCES THAT ARE ENTIRELY DISTINCT AND HE HAS#VERY SPECIFIC AND OBVIOUS PARALLELS TO VECNA BECAUSE HE IS THE LIGHT WIZARD TO HIS DARK WIZARD#WHAT IS NOT CLICKING !!!! am i missing something. do u think they would do all of that in EVERY SINGLE SEASON for it to mean nothing?#they're going to start and end the show with will but don't worry he's Just Some Guy? bro. duuuuude my GUY !!!!#mine
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do u ever speak too soon & immediately regret it.
#yes this is about the trade that just happened three minutes ago#clown shoes of prophecy in the tumblr tags#no i am not Doing Well#I THOUGHT I WAS GODDAMN SAFE FROM THE BRUINS#to be deleted but i am literally resisting the urge to screech like a feral animal in the gym right now i am being soooooo normal#WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME PERSONALLY SPECIFICALLY I’M GOING TO CRY INTO A HOLE I CAN’T DO THIS NARRATIVE IT’S ONLY DYLAN LEFT YOU TOOK HIM#i have to pretend to be normal :) i have to take an exam :) and function as a human being :) instead of crouching like a bug on the floor#and then i will come home and open up the notes app i made two (?) years ago that says ‘if tyler bertuzzi ever gets traded it’s-’#& everyone will be suffering with me. sorry not sorry for the influx of sad bertuzzi posts that are coming like i have Such a relationship#with him as a player &i know he’s the worst but also it really sucks to watch every guy you thought was the core of ur team get traded away#purely narratively speaking in all bemoaning etc etc etc except for the part where we don’t have a gritty net front presence now &#who’s gonna be larks & lucas’ winger & i just cried about tyler in a fight the other day because mickey said ‘i’m sure he wants to protect#those hands but sometimes you can’t you gotta do it for the boys’ & i think mickey said ‘they’ as in the team wants him to not hurt his hand#again but he has to fight & if that isn’t also v much a part of the old gods detroit it was always tyler champion of blood & guts & giving#& regardless of hockey (EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT IT WAS FOR DRAFT PICKS I HATE DRAFT PICKS WHAT ARE U GONNA DO WITH THOSE like at least if#it’s for a guy i could maybe learn to love him but you never remember who you traded to get those draft picks unless it’s narratively r#relevant later but right now it feels like it’s for nothing & i don’t want to learn to love some new guy in five years i miss tyler already)#anyway. ik full well this won’t cause me to actually finish tyler borzoituzzi bc i haven’t even properly started it but i can dream of spite
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femmefatalevibe · 10 months
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Femme Fatale Guide: How To Validate Yourself & Stop People Pleasing
A comprehensive guide to learn love & trust yourself and break out of your people-pleasing identity. Hope this helps xx
HOW TO MASTER THE ART OF SELF-VALIDATION:
Remember the longest relationship you have in life is the one with yourself. While we all need an external support system to be well-rounded & healthy individuals, no one else will be with you throughout your entire life except for you. So, acting as your own best friend is the secret to living your happiest and most fulfilling life. You ultimately need to do what's best for you. Otherwise, you're damaging the only relationship you will have to confront in every aspect and stage of your life.
Acknowledge your humanity and fundamental right to have needs, goals, and personal desires. Validate your personhood and individuality. Remember you're only human and are bound to have your own physical/emotional limitations and preferences. If you would be willing to cater to others' schedules, boundaries, and limitations, give yourself this equal level of respect and expect others to do the same.
Know everyone is self-centered to a certain degree. No one cares about your happiness as much or is watching you as closely as you are. They all have themselves and their lives to worry about. People are paying attention to their own self-interests (or want you to accomplish things to boost their own credibility or self-esteem). Being your greatest personal cheerleader is the only way to fully give yourself the praise and spotlight you deserve for your accomplishments.
Self-confidence is magnetic. It is the secret to showing up as your best self in all areas of life. Being secure in yourself makes you a better friend, family member, lover, partner, spouse, professional, conversationalist, etc. Validating yourself will make you feel good, but also radiates into every relationship or interaction in your life.
Discover what you love about yourself. Reflect on the personality traits, skillsets, and behaviors you know to be admirable about yourself. Are you constantly making others laugh? Do you get endless praise for your cooking, drawing, singing, or problem-solving skills? Would people come to you first to manage a crisis like a champion? Are you a master disciplinarian when it comes to going to the gym or reading? Do people regularly compliment your outfits or nails? Think of all of the aspects of your being that make you unique and help you to feel content with your existing, authentic self.
Take control of your life to cultivate your ideal self. While you should consistently praise your naturally admirable qualities, remember that you always can change aspects of your life that will help you feel like your best self. Know that you're in control of your decisions and have the mental freedom to think & act in any way you desire to reach any goals or implement lifestyle changes to feel like the person you feel destined to be.
Block out the noise and negative self-talk. We're (almost always!) our worst critics. Consider every new experience or interaction as a learning opportunity. Mistakes and failures are life lessons that facilitate self-reflection and opportunities for growth. Remember not to beat yourself up for past mistakes: You did the best you could with the information you had at the time. If you weren't embarrassed by your past self, you never gave yourself the chance to evolve and grow. Every success, failure, and new life stage offers its own lessons and teachable moments. Remember that we're all our own unique life paths. Comparing your life to someone else's is like comparing apples and oranges. Both entities may be fruitful but have vastly different flavor profiles, growing seasons, and rates at which they ripen. As Dita Von Tesse shrewdly said: "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there will always be someone who hates peaches."
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE PLEASING:
Acknowledge that people-pleasing is a form of self-neglect. By prioritizing another person's desires or approval above your own, you're ultimately neglecting your physical, emotional, energetic, or spiritual needs. Consider acting in your best in your own best interest as an act of self-care that safeguards your well-being.
Set boundaries. State your limitations, calmly, clearly, and directly. Understand that boundaries are your response to other people's actions, not a means to control other people's behavior. An expectation would be to ask someone not to call you during the workday. A boundary is stating that you will not pick up the phone during the workday and will only make/return calls in the evening after leaving the office.
Communicate your needs & expectations clearly. While you can't control what others will do, being upfront with your needs and expectations can eliminate unnecessary stress, logistical issues, misplaced hurt feelings, or disappointment in any type of relationship. Direct communication between parties will allow you both to respect each other's boundaries and to prioritize interactions that are mutually more positive, helpful, and emotionally nourishing.
Express your "no" freely (and without over-explaining). Remember that "No" is a complete sentence. You do not owe someone your time or emotional energy simply because they asked or expect you to do something/attend an event out of perceived obligation/guilt or simply to make someone else happy. Making sure you're okay is your first priority. Feel free to say "no" to any requests that would emotionally drain you, make you overextend yourself, or compromise any of your personal values/goals/priorities. You don't need to justify your needs. Just kindly decline, and let it be.
Remain consistent with your boundaries & priorities. People will treat you how you let them treat you. Once you set a boundary or share your priorities will someone, stick to these words through your actions to show you're serious about how you expect to be treated. Teach people how to interact with you in a way that doesn't feel self-sacrificing. No one will respect your boundaries and priorities if you don't and are easily swayed to forgo these self-imposed standards on a day-to-day or case-by-case basis.
Consider the long-term consequences of people-pleasing. While it may appease immediate conflict or anxiety, people-pleasing offers a one-way ticket to resentment and misplaced anger. By ignoring our own needs for the sake of others, we place unspoken expectations on these individuals' obligations to reciprocate our emotional labor – whether it be with their future actions or matching our generosity with unprompted favors or emotional support. We start keeping score as we continuously give ourselves over to others of perceived obligation. When someone doesn't return the favor, we get upset, despite never expressing this expectation of someone else or that we're even self-sacrificing in any way. This can lead to us feeling depleted or guilt-tripping others, and from their perspective, seemingly out of nowhere. It is best to remember we always have a choice whether to give to others and it should be of a genuine desire, love, or support for the other person – not as a way to gain external validation or manipulate a situation to create a false sense of obligation that we keep ourselves or the receiving party beholden to. Think of your energy, time, and personal resources given to others as a gift, not a bargaining chip.
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muniimyg · 4 months
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7.5: the perilla leaf 》 series m.list
note: nah cos why did u guys blow up 6.5??? jus cos it was nasty sex ????? WAS THE MIRROR SEX CH NOT AS HOT ???? 😭 jus kidding … hello to my new readers !! hello to my day 1s !!! i’m so glad u’re here <3 enj this ch as we are near the end … i know i took a hot minute... but now u guys will know WHY. pls lmk ur thots ,, i am in desperate need of validation cos i’m losing motivation 😀✊🏽 mwah ,, wuv u all ,, until next time !
warnings: this ch is lengthy !!! i'm too lazy to do a word count... anyways,, miscommunication (jk & mina, mina & oc, eunwoo & jk & oc, etc etc), rejection (take a wild guess 😛) and jealousy ((take an even wilder guess)) angst & implied smut (((pls do not be like jk,, he’s such a douche in this ch))) oc has mean girl vibes... etc etc👨‍🍳✨
taglist request: send a request with the title of this fic “c2u” // DO NOT comment here or on the masterlist . it gets confusing and i prefer answering and tagging through asks !!!
🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @defzcl @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main @ellesalazar
fic taglist: @mint--yoongs @bloopkook @suciedad-divina @xelenavazquezx @kyjjk @parkinglot-nights @skzthinker @thisisaburnphone @rrjkive @hyuneyeon @chemicalclub @bbtsficrecs @ronyiboniyy @italiekim
//
When Yuna meets you, she's wearing Taehyung’s jersey. 
You keep your mouth shut about it, hoping if you don’t bring up her situationship with Taehyung—she won’t bring up yours with Jungkook. 
It’s simple girl logic. Something you’ve always loved about Yuna is that even though she is the nosiest human to ever exist—she knows her boundaries when it comes to you. With that, you’ve always felt safe with her. Eventually, you’ll tell her everything. Besides, what fun is being in a situationship when your loving friends come in with their thoughts and concerns? Evidentially bringing the truth to light and ending your delusion? 
No fun! 
Speaking of delusion…
“Oh my god,” Yuna gasps as she makes an effort to block your view. You huff at her, annoyed at how childish she’s acting. She waves her arms frantically, trying to keep you focused on the other side of the bleachers. Isn’t that ridiculous? For someone trying to get you to avoid looking a specific way, she draws all the attention to it.  “Babes, whatever you do, don’t look—___, seriously? Stop! Please, you’re just going to—”
In disbelief, you grumble; “why is Mina wearing Jungkook’s jersey?”
Your own words make you want to throw up. 
What the actual fuck. 
She’s standing a few feet away from the soccer team with her friends. The towels in their hands—at this point should be pompoms—make them look so… Entitled? You don’t even know half of the girls she’s standing with. Yet, you hate them. 
You despise them and the way they look so perfect. 
They’re all wearing a team member’s jersey… Mina just so happens to have Jungkook’s on. It makes you wonder… Did he give that to her? Did they meet after you two fucked? Did he really mean it when he said, “quickie?”
Did he mean anything he said to you at the party? Not that he was making promises... It's just irritating because you almost believed him. 
Believed in being his girl.
... Whatever that means.
His words were sweet but the way he looked into your eyes was his entire tell. They were sweeter. He had a softness in his gaze. It looked genuine—you swear it was. 
“I think the jerseys are from last season… Look!” Yuna tugs the fabric of the jersey sleeve to you and begins to point details out. “See? This is Taehyung’s from this season. It’s made of thinner material and even the colour is lighter! Mina’s is—”
You turn the other cheek, not bothering to entertain the rest of this conversation. What was the use? You’d only hurt yourself with all the overthinking and cause drama between you and Jungkook. Besides, you have faith in him. He knows how you feel when it comes to Mina… He wouldn’t push it, right? And if anything… You can’t seem to think of a reason why he would be upset with you right now. 
The quickie was just a quickie.
Not much to say. He was normal—until he left. Jungkook had left without saying goodbye and it made you feel a little weird. Not even a text? Not even a heads-up? Not even a kiss? Odd of him. 
Again, it’s nothing worth starting a fight. 
… And besides, when were you guys the type to fight over things like this? You two aren’t dating. Communication—in this sense—is it really necessary? 
“Shit,” Yuna nudges you. “She’s waving at us. Wave back so she doesn’t know we’re talking shit—”
“We’re not talking shit,” you hiss. “Who even cares?”
“Okay, jealous era!” Her words earn an eye roll from you. Quickly, you give in and flash Mina a faint smile and wave your hands at her. She giggles and returns to chatting with her friends. 
“Remind me again… Why did I come?” you groan as you take a seat. Ignoring you, Yuna sits down beside you and takes her phone out. You peek over and see that she’s texting Taehyung good luck. “Do you go to all their games?”
“I try to.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why?” Yuna snorts. “Taehyung likes the support.”
You bite your tongue. 
Should you even ask? It’s probably safer to assume, right?
“Do you like Taehyung?” Your words come out of your mouth before you can stop yourself. Afraid of her reaction, you brace yourself for her defensiveness. Instead, her lips curve into a smirk.
“Do you like Jungkook?”
Stupid question. 
Just when Yuna thinks you’re about to react to her question, the crowd begins to cheer. You two turn your attention to the field where your Uni’s team and the opposing team all come out and shake each other’s hands. Then, they run a small lap around the bleachers and briefly greet everyone. 
You watch Jungkook in silence. You don’t cheer his name or even wave. It doesn’t matter though. He sees you. 
When he does, he playfully squints his eyes and tilts his chin up. With both of his hands, he makes the OK hand gesture and brings the circle parts to his eyes. Then, he flips one. 
69. 
Your eyes widen. As you throw your head back to laugh, out of instinct, you give him the middle finger. He chuckles and returns your gesture by blowing you a kiss.
Mina watches as he blows his kiss towards you.
Her cheers go quiet. For a split second, you two make eye contact. She smiles at you shyly. You gulp and turn your attention back to the field. Shortly, the game begins. As the crowd cheers, she finds her mood again. Meanwhile, your attention goes back and forth to Mina, cheering on the sidelines, and Jungkook, playing like losing isn’t an option.
For some reason, you feel a little bad. She’s so supportive and cute (you hate to admit it)… And he’s… Well, why does it matter what he is? All you know is that he isn’t hers. 
Yet, he isn’t yours either.  
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Jungkook scores the final goal. 
Of course, he does. 
As the crowd goes wild, you can’t help but join in. His teammates run to him, engulfing him like the ace he is. Jungkook pokes his head out and looks at the crowd. When his eyes land on you, you offer him and smile and a thumbs up. He sticks his tongue out at you before he returns to his victorious team. 
Shortly after, Yuna guides you down to the field the minute your area clears. As she does this, you can’t help but feel a little nervous. What were you going to say to him? Even if you had already seen and spent time with him today, right now feels a lot different. 
The way to the field isn’t that long of a walk. Suddenly, you’re standing across from him. He’s saying his last few goodbyes to his teammates and hanging back with Taehyung. Yuna sprints to Taehyung, happily congratulating him and teasing his soccer moves. You watch in awe as the two bond and laugh together. Walking to Jungkook, you keep your head high. 
He would be happy you showed up, right? You didn’t text him that you were coming… But this is a good surprise! At least, you hope it is. He mentioned not telling you about the game because he didn’t feel like begging you to come. Well, here you are. No begging and no sour attitude. You’re here for him. 
It’s all shits and giggles until Mina beats you to him.
He’s only a few steps away from you, but in an instant—he feels so far away. You pause, wondering if you should continue to walk to him. It doesn’t matter if he was watching or waiting for you to come to him; you can leave right now. You could turn around and just wait by the bleachers. Or… You could just go home.
Perhaps there’s a look in your eye that gives your thoughts away or maybe, your friends just know you too well. 
Yuna catches you backing away. She glares at you and side-eyes the direction towards Jungkook. In response, you shake your head with a polite smile—a smile that is trying to mask the fact that you kind of want to rip Mina’s cute head off. 
Polite. 
Just as you’re about to turn away, you feel someone grab onto your forearm. Looking up, you realize it’s Eunwoo. 
“When we were dating, I almost always begged you to come to these games,” Eunwoo complains, grinning ear to ear. “Funny seeing you here.”
Eunwoo isn’t on the team.
He doesn’t even play soccer, really. Basketball is more of his thing. In all fairness, he loves sports and a lot of his friends are on the soccer team. When you two were dating, you were almost never together on Friday nights because of these stupid games. He’d beg for you to come with him and you’d reject and promise him your Saturday night. 
“You aren’t even on the team,” you laugh, earning an embarrassed grin from him. “What’s the point of going to a game if your boyfriend isn’t on the team?”
He tilts his head. Suddenly, your words sink in. Did you really just say that?
“I came with Yuna!” you attempt to save yourself. “She always comes to these things… For Taehyung or something.. I—I just thought I’d c-check it out.”
Eunwoo gives you a funny look.
You aren’t sure if he bought your excuse but you’ll pretend like he did just to salvage any dignity you have left. Everything feels so embarrassing right now. Nothing is going your way and you just feel so out of place. 
Is it overstimulation?
You came all this way to see one person—why are there so many other people?
“Are you here to see Jungkook?” Eunwoo asks bluntly. “You know… Since he’s on the team.”
Eyes widened, you shake your head profusely. “Ew! W-what? No! Who said that? I’m here because my friends are on the team and—”
“You’re a bad liar,” he interrupts you. “Always have been. You should stick with being honest.”
You huff at him. Out of everyone here, he’s probably your safest option when it comes to admitting the truth. In a way—in your way—you give in.
“He’s talking to Mina.”
“Oh,” Eunwoo turns his head, seeing for himself what all your fuss is about. When he takes it all in, he turns back to you with a shrug. “She’s cute.”
“She is cute… You should date her.”
Eunwoo rolls his eyes before engulfing you in a bear hug. He ruffles your hair, knowing you hate it when he does this. You groan and shove him away from you. As you compose yourself, he sighs. 
“Yah, ___,” Eunwoo lifts his finger and points at you. With a serious tone, he warns you: “Don’t be so obvious with your jealousy. It hurts my feelings that you never acted this jealous when it came to me.”
You smile at him sweetly. “That’s because you’re a well-trained dog.”
“Ouch!” Eunwoo laughs, pretending you hurt his heart. “Yes, it’s true. What can I say? Any day being your bitch is a good day to be a dog… That’s why I��m still begging for you back even though I broke up with you.”
With a whiney tone, you say, “oh, shut up.” 
“Still a no to the whole getting-back-together-with-me thing?” he winks, sightly kidding and slightly not. You cross your arms and shake your head at him. He attempts one last time. “Awh, come on! We can even fake date just to get a reaction out of Jungkook… I have no problem betraying friendship for love.”
“Oh my god, shut up!”
This time, you roll your eyes at him and tell him he’s being ridiculous. You remind him that his little drunken confession at the party was close to meaningless. He knew from the very start that you’re the type to move on when things end. Good or bad, you never look back. You’ve lived your life this way for so long—you can’t recall whether it brought you more luck or pain. 
Eunwoo doesn’t care for your little speech. Instead, he laughs and continues to push your buttons.
“Wow, you must love Jungkook at this point. You know, you can just say that, right? You loveeee—“
You lunge yourself to him, attempting to playfully put him in a chokehold. He’s a lot taller than you so you struggle. Honesty, it’s cute and he can’t resist you. Eunwoo laughs and bends his knees, pretending to struggle as you seek revenge. He gives in, letting you have your way.
Meanwhile, Jungkook can’t concentrate on his conversation with Mina.
The big smile on his face faded as he watched you turn away when you were only a few steps away from him. How could you do such a thing? You walking towards him made him so happy. It was a sight he had been daydreaming of for the past few days. Though he saw you just hours before, he didn’t expect to see you at the game. 
He thought you didn’t care. 
Yet, there you were. 
Shit, how does he even begin to explain how it felt to see you there? How annoying it was when you threw your head back to laugh, and his heart raced like never before? He was obsessed with you. Every little thing you do—he was your number one fan. 
Except for moments like these. 
Where you hesitate as you walk towards him. Where you get distracted and forget about him just because your ex showed up.
Where you give up. 
“... And so, I guess… What I’m trying to ask is if you’d want to grab dinner with me and my friends? And then maybe we could do something after that… Alone? Like just the two of us?” Mina’s voice cuts in, interrupting Jungkook’s thoughts of you. “We could watch a movie at my place? My roommate went home for the weekend so we’d have the place to ourselves.”
He stares blankly, trying his best to process everything Mina is blabbing about. 
“Ohh… Thanks for the offer! You know the team and I usually celebrate with dinner together, right? ” Jungkook says it happily as if he isn’t rejecting her. “Next time?”
Idiot, Jungkook thinks to himself.
No next time. No this time. No nothing.
Why does he do this? Why does he always push things back for Mina when he doesn’t even want to reschedule? He doesn’t want to reject her… But he does.
Within seconds, the disappointment in Mina’s eyes fades when she comes up with a solution. Her eyes light up, believing in the compromise she’s about to pitch. “Then maybe I could join you guys? Taehyung and Yuna already know me and—”
“But it’s a team thing.”
Mina’s eyebrows furrow. Slightly offended, she pushes the conversation. “Oh… But Eunwoo goes. Yuna does too. She isn’t on the team—she’s just dating Taehyung.”
“No, she isn’t,” Jungkook laughs, finding the assumption cute. “At least, not yet.”
It’s not that funny, though. Mina doesn’t laugh and the silence between the two is heavy. Her facial expression drops, indicating her mood shifts to something less enthusiastic.
Annoyance?
Desperation?
Hurt.
“___ isn’t on the team. She isn’t dating you… But she’ll be there, right?” Mina chokes her words out as if she’s accepting her defeat. Saying this is a wildcard, but she plays it anyway. “Or what I mean to say is that she’s not dating you… Not yet. Haha.”
Jungkook opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. It’s dry and it’s… Nothing. No words, no thoughts.
He can’t think of a defense and he isn’t even really sure what he’s supposed to say. In his lifetime, he has gotten more than a handful of confessions… But for some reason, this one feels painful.
Pitiful.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Jungkook breathes. He scratches the back of his neck and looks at Mina shyly. “I really appreciate the support—I really do. It’s just… I never wanted yours.”
Mina stares at him blankly.
“Okay, I get that… But… This is what you do when you like someone. You do thoughtful things they never ask for. You sit through their practices even if it’s pouring rain or hot as fuck. You wash your towels with their favourite laundry detergent because they mentioned they're sensitive to strong scents—no, actually… I think you drive them home and ignore the other girl who sits with his friends and waits for him… Right? You blow her kisses from across the field instead of the girl that helped set up for the game.”
Jungkook’s heart drops. 
“Mina—”
“I waited for you and you never came. You didn’t even text me. Do you know how that feels? To wait for someone and they don’t even—god, I like you so much I made myself look sooo stupid.” Mina groans in frustration. She puts her hands to her face, taking a breath in before continuing to get things off her chest.
“I should’ve left. Instead, I stayed and checked my phone every two minutes in case you texted. Then, I thought, okay… At least I can try to bond with your friends. But you know what? All they could talk about was you and ___. I sat there, listening and nodding like an idiot.”
Fuck.
Jungkook wants to sympathize with her, but can’t find the words or the strength to reach out. As he hesitates, Mina gathers her final thoughts and makes her last few moves. Abruptly, she shoves the towel in her hands to Jungkook’s chest. 
“She didn’t even know you joined the team again after quitting. She has never gone to a game until today. She doesn’t even chant your name or cheer when you score a goal. She’s over there, flirting with her ex-boyfriend while you’re here rejecting me.” Mina fumes. “Is that who you’re going to pick over me? If so, fine. Nice choice, Jungkook. I wish you the best. Thanks for wasting my time.”
“You chose to be here. Look at yourself. Why are you even wearing that?” Jungkook points at the jersey she has on. Mina tightens her lips, suddenly feeling ridiculous. She pushes past him but pauses when Jungkook mumbles the words, “You led yourself on.”
Sharply, Mina raises her voice. “She doesn’t even want you.”
Ouch. 
Mina’s words hit Jungkook right in the heart. Right in the spot where his insecurities and overthinking take place—the words strike him. 
They hurt him.
They kill him.
“Don’t speak for her,” he warns, gaze lowered and stern. “She may not have cheered as loud as you during the game, but who fucking cares when she was chanting my name the other night… Or was it before the game today? I can’t remember. Fucked around too much to remember.”
Mina darts Jungkook a glare. “You’re an insensitive asshole. Do you know that?”
Jungkook huffs, beginning to feel frustrated. “Your feelings are yours, my feelings are mine. So, you don’t get to say shit about ___ to me—not about the way she treats me or her choices. I’m a grown man, Mina. I can figure it out when I need to pull out and how much shit I can take.”
“Mind giving me a few lessons, then?” she asks, eyes beginning to tear up. “I think I put up with yours for a minute too long.”
Everything becomes difficult in that exact second. There’s so much empathy Jungkook wants to express, but can not. He should not. He needs to pull away now or else he would be doing exactly what she’s accusing him of doing—leading her on. 
“I’m sorry, Mina,” Jungkook apologizes softly, truly feeling stuck. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
Mina sighs, eyes watery from the tears that threaten to fall. “You’re a grown man, Jungkook. You can figure it out when you need to pull out and how much shit you can take.” 
Jungkook lowers his head, feeling bad for his harsh words. A part of him hates how this interaction went down. He could’ve been kinder. He should’ve been kinder. At the same time, it feels like this is all worth it. There’s no better way to end things than just to cut everything off. 
Still, he attempts one last time. 
“Mina,” Jungkook raises his face and looks at her in the eyes. “Look, I was as honest as I could be. I didn’t know I would like her so much. I didn’t know I’d feel this way about her at all… It just happened. I don’t mean to be an asshole. I didn’t mean to lead you on. I’m so sorry. With my whole heart, I am so fucking sorry."
Mina gulps, a little taken aback by his words. There’s a relief in her heart when Jungkook expresses his feelings to her. At least, there was clarity.
At least, he was honest.
At least, it ends like this. 
She balls her fists and raises them. Waving them in the air, slowly and cutely, she smiles at Jungkook one last time.
Softly, she cheers, “go, Jungkook. Go.”
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In the past, the friendgroup seating arrangement was a no-brainer. The order always went: other friends, you, Yuna, Taehyung, and then Jungkook. This was the blueprint. 
Tonight, it’s different.
It earns a few confused looks, but nothing major. No one thinks twice about it. Maybe that’s because they didn’t catch the small moment in between—the one where Jungkook tugged on the hem of your crewneck and you complied. Taking a seat beside him, he keeps his hands near yours.
Though the restaurant is packed and busy, sitting beside Jungkook feels slow. 
Was this even possible? For time to feel like it slows down when you’re beside him? It’s like every gesture he makes, every word that comes out of his mouth, and every stolen glance at you feels mindlessly slow. Yet, your heart races beside him. Even then, you can’t deny how gentle he is. 
How every fingertip brush he makes is intentional. How he eventually hooks his pinky onto yours. How he inches closer and closer to you. Each time, you look away and pretend you don’t notice it. You do. You really do. 
It feels strange.
Back at the field, it felt like he didn’t pay attention to you. Was it because of whatever he and Mina had discussed moments before? He didn’t talk about it when he joined you and Eunwoo. Instead, he kindly greeted you two and excused himself to quickly shower at the locker room before heading out to dinner. You and Eunwoo agreed to wait for him. 
So, you can’t put your finger on it.
He was acting strange, but it wasn’t like anyone else was saying anything about it. A part of you wonders if it’s all in your head. Even though he had acknowledged your presence and excused himself politely—it felt like he was distant. 
It hurt your feelings. 
Why is he acting so weird? The possibilities you make in your head feel limited. The entire way here, you kept replaying moments between you two recently. What could have gone wrong? What could you have done wrong? What about him changed his mind about you? These thoughts flooded your mind so much that you didn’t even realize that he tugged on your crewneck for you to sit down beside him. 
Now, here you are. 
Mind racing with anxious thoughts, sitting beside the man who is the cause.
Your mind is telling you one thing, but his actions are proving otherwise. You don’t know which to believe and it makes you unsure of what to do. Everything is muffled and you can barely make out the small talk happening around you. The only thing clearer than your confused feelings are Jungkook’s gentle touches.
… That is until Yuna and Eunwoo begin to argue. 
“Don’t you usually sit beside her?”
Yuna dismisses him. “Who cares?”
“I do,” Eunwoo protests. “If anyone is going to steal your seat, it’s going to be me!”
“No! You can’t. You can sit beside Taehyung—”
Eunwoo crosses his arms at her. “I thought you liked me. Am I no longer your favourite?”
His words trigger Yuna’s shoulders to drop. She bites her tongue and side eyes Jungkook. Jungkook catches her look and simply clears his throat. Then, he nudges you. 
“Let Yuna sit beside you.” Jungkook’s tone is serious yet casual. You tilt your head at him and give him a weird look. 
“Why does it matter?” you press. In all honesty, you aren't sure of what answer to expect. You're just poking the bear just because you can.
“I’m sitting beside you,” Jungkook points out. “It only makes sense that Yuna sits on your other side. Your favourite people in the world, you know?”
Unfazed, you shake your head. “Be honest… Do you not want Eunwoo to sit beside me?”
“I’m sitting beside you. Focus on that.”
You huff. “It’s yes or no, Jungkook.”
“Or.”
He answers without a lighthearted tone. Without a smile. Without the intention of miscommunicating what he wants. You can’t help but pity him. It’s obvious he’s a little sensitive right now and considering how he left things with you earlier—maybe you should be kinder. Maybe you should cater to him tonight. 
But… At the same time… 
Jungkook is being difficult, so maybe you should run the same play. 
Okay, fine. 
Since the ball is in your court, you shoot your shot. 
“Eunwoo,” you say sweetly, “sit beside me. Yuna can sit beside Taehyung.”
Taehyung, who is sitting across from you, gulps. He instantly feels like he’s caught in the middle. Between trying to please every request Yuna throws at him to catering to his friends—when would this agony end? When could he finally have peace and not get poop anxiety from all this drama?
“But ___—”
You hush your best friend. Yuna pouts and glares at Eunwoo. Truth be told, she doesn’t care if she’s the one sitting beside you or not—she just didn’t want it to be Eunwoo. For Jungkook’s sake; she wanted it to be him. But by the looks of it, Jungkook is in a mood and you’re way too in your head tonight. Ultimately, she accepts her defeat and slumps beside Taehyung. 
Taehyung tries to cheer her up by pointing at her favourite foods. It works. She instantly smiles and sits up with pep. He lets out a breath of relief and shares a look with Jungkook. A, that-was-a-close-one kind that makes Jungkook laugh. You watch as he laughs and can’t help but feel your annoyance begin to fade. 
Okay… It’s confirmed. He’s in a weird mood tonight, but he’s still Jungkook. 
He is still your Jungkook. 
As Eunwoo settles beside you, he strikes up a conversation with the other teammates around him. On your left, you just hear Eunwoo talking your ear off. On your right, Jungkook goes on his phone and goes quiet. Only every so often would he chuckle or make a side comments. 
It’s then that you realize you hate where you’re sitting. 
So, you do the only logical thing you can. 
Flirt with him.
Slowly, you place your hand on Jungkook’s thigh. You lean forward, pressing some weight on him. He puts his phone down and looks up at you. Cutely, you smile at him and take your hands off his lap. 
Patting his head, you softly tell him; “Jungkook, you played well.”
You run your fingers through his damp hair and look into his eyes. You bat your eyelashes a few times, attempting to act cute. Deep inside, you hope this works. You hope you win him over. 
You do.
Right then and there, all his plans go out the window. He will never get used to this. He loves hearing praises from your lips. In complete trance of how you say it, what you say, and why you say it—everything. He craves for you to be obsessed with him the way he is with you. 
So, fuck it.
He could pause his sulky attitude for you. 
Anything for you. 
Jungkook’s lips curve into a half smile. “Don’t be cute.”
“Why?” you pout. “Is it working?”
“Are you trying to entice me?” He chuckles before leaning close to you and lowering his voice. “It’s working, I’ll admit that… But it’s kind of shameless of you to be trying so hard right now. Our friends are here, ___… Don’t start shit you can’t finish, pookie.”
Playfully, you hit his shoulder. “I always finish.”
“Is that so?”
You look at him as innocent as possible. “Yeah. Thanks to you.”
Jungkook goes dizzy.
As he’s about to make a shameless remark, the waiter squeezes himself in between you two and places water down for the table. Everyone thanks him and reaches for a cup. Jungkook hands you one and you drink it. 
“Thirsty as always,” he shakes his head at you fondly. 
Then, he takes a sip of his water. By complete accident, some water spills and gets the corner of his mouth and a bit of his chin wet. You laugh, put down your cup, and tug on your sleeves. Without much thought, you move closer to him and use your sleeves to dry him. 
“You always spill your drink,” you nag. “Are you a child?”
He stays still, not wanting you to move away. “No.”
You taunt him. “Baby.” 
“Who the fuck is baby?” Jungkook mimics. 
Lowering your gaze, you send him a warning look. He laughs and puts his hands up in surrender. As you finish cleaning him up, you sneak in a final comment. “Yah, a lot of girls would break up with you if you do this shit on a first date… Such an ick. Imagine going out with a guy that needs a sippy cup.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes at how extensive you’re stretching this out. “It’s charming. I make it charming. My girlfriend would just have to get over it. It’s that simple.”
“Sure,” you agree with a sarcastic tone. “As if I can ever get over it.”
At this point, Jungkook is going to lose track of how many times you’ve made his heart skip a beat. This is completely unfair. How do you say shit like that so easily and captivate him without even knowing? Should he say something about it? 
As he opens his mouth to speak, he loses his chance. 
“___, Jungkook,” Eunwoo chimes in, “Since this is ___’s first time eating with the team… Should we just order our usual?”
Jungkook nods, agreeing with the suggestion. You do the same and state you feel indifferent. Eunwoo then goes on and on about the food. He tells you about the dishes he thinks you’ll like and which ones you should avoid due to your preferences. All the shit he says are things Jungkook has noticed about you before—it just annoys the hell out of him that Eunwoo is telling you all this shit like he’s still your boyfriend. 
He isn’t. 
So, he should shut the fuck up, right?
Jungkook’s thoughts are put on pause when his phone vibrates. He looks at the notification and reads:
Yuna [8:07PM]: stop making that face
Yuna [8:07PM]: idk if u're jealous or need to shit
Jungkook [8:08PM]: lol but like did u see her flirting w me 😌🤘
Yuna [8:08PM]: yes. do u want a medal or smt?
Jungkook [8:09PM]: she wants me fr 🦄💕
Yuna [8:11PM]: is that why she nd eunwoo look like they're abt to kiss?? 😳
Instantly, Jungkook looks up from his phone and turns to you. You're just laughing and talking with Eunwoo. No kissing in sight.
Yuna [8:11PM]: made u look 🤣
Jungkook [8:13PM]: not funny.
Yuna's laughter fills the room. You turn to her, breaking away from your conversation with Eunwoo.
"What's so funny?" you ask.
She shrugs with a smug smile on her face. Pointing at him, she teases, "Jungkook's in a mood."
You look at Jungkook and see him roll his eyes. He sinks into his seat and mutters a few inaudible words. From the looks of it, you can almost swear that his eyes were a little teary. Was he about to cry or something?
"You okay?" you ask him softly. Your concern grows as he lifts his face and looks at you. He looks tired. Exhausted even. "Do you wanna talk?"
Jungkook feels a sense of relief.
You care.
Thank god you care.
In response, he squeezes your thigh. “I’m good,” he promises. “You okay?”
You nod, leaning in. “More than.”
It happens so fast. Your eyes fluttered closed, and you were barely an inch away from his lips. He even dipped his head—and then you caught yourself.
Holy shit, were you just about to kiss him? In front of everyone? When did this become second nature? You want to believe that only you caught yourself… But it’s too late. Jungkook was bracing himself. 
He knew what you were about to do. He was giving in too.
As you break away, his heart breaks a little. Laughing awkwardly, you turn back to Eunwoo and continue your conversation with him. At this point, he isn’t sure if he’s just hangry or purely annoyed with everything and everyone. He feels so alone. He hates that you’re right beside him too. 
He’s so fucking over this. 
When the food arrives, the spread is breathtaking. Maybe it’s because everyone is hungry as fuck and the game was a huge success, but the mood suddenly lightens. The smell of meat being grilled and the sound of the side dishes being passed around was music to everyone’s ears. 
As Jungkook grills the meat, he places the first one ready on your plate. He continues to pile your plate. With lingering eyes, Taehyung groans out in frustration. 
“Yah!” He cries, “that’s unfair. You can’t possibly give ___ all that meat! Give me some!”
Yuna hits him playfully and tells him to let Jungkook be. She reaches over to the other grill and places meat on his plate. Taehyung huffs, and sinks into his seat. 
“Jungkook used to put meat on my plate first.” Taehyung continues to whine.
You all hear him but choose to ignore his words. You aren’t even sure how you’re supposed to act with this. Jungkook was always sweet to you. He has always looked out for you. He has been a gentleman… Now that you’re paying attention to him—you can’t help but feel so infatuated. 
You're drawn to him.
“Do you even eat that much meat?” Eunwoo teases, as he reaches over your plate and picks a piece of meat off. He shoves it in his mouth and you laugh at him. His cheeks are all puffy from the food he stuffed in. 
“No, but that doesn’t mean you can steal it off my plate,” you mutter. “You’re such a thief.”
“I stole your heart once upon a time,” he reminds you. “I’ll be the thief if you’re the cop.”
You cringe at him. “Thank god you broke up with me.”
“You used to love my lines!” Eunwoo jokes, suddenly ruffing your hair like how he did at the field. You shove his hand away and groan at him. 
Jungkook witnesses it all.
The entire time, he feels like he’s being tortured. Sure, you’re allowed to have other guy friends. Sure, you’re allowed to have exes… So why was this bothering him so much? Eunwoo is a good guy too! He’s his friend and it’s not like Jungkook has dibs. If we’re being realistic—Eunwoo had you first.��
Cue Jungkook’s insecurities. 
Do they know how long it took for Jungkook to get to where he is with you right now? How long he had to wait just for him to be able to hook your pinkies together under a table? How long it took for you to sit down beside him without arguing? How long it took for you to accept his presence? How long it took him to get you to act cute?
Too long.
And here Eunwoo is—a mere ex-boyfriend—getting your banters and treating you like you’re still his. 
It makes Jungkook sick to his stomach. He’s losing his appetite by the second.
His thoughts are put on pause when Eunwoo proclaims: “___, look! Our favourite… Perilla leaves!”
Jungkook’s eyes bulge. 
You smile at Eunwoo and practically celebrate with him. As he picks one up with his chopsticks, another sticks to it. As you pick up your chopsticks, you take the other side and peel the perilla leaf apart. Together, you and Eunwoo giggle and wrap the perilla leaf with some meat. Suddenly, he brings his wrapped perilla leaf to your mouth. Happily, you eat what he offered.
“Good bite, baby.” Eunwoo praises you.
With a mouth full, you childishly hit him and scold him for not taking a bite himself. Eunwoo listens and picks up another perilla leaf. You two repeat to peel them a part and—
Jungkook wants to kill himself.
Oh god, he wants to rip Eunwoo’s head off. 
To make matters worse, Yuna attempts to be of rescue.
"Eunwoo," she gasps. "Aren't you being a little too shameless?"
Eunwoo shrugs as he prepares another bite for you. "Yuna, just because there's a goalie doesn't mean I can't score."
That does it. Something inside Jungkook snaps. He wants to be so mad at you—no, he is so mad at you.
How could you do this to him? How could you let Eunwoo say such things?
Don’t you know what this all means? Falling in love. Marriage. Children. A whole fucking nuclear future with someone that wasn’t him. It’s fucking insane you’d let Eunwoo go this far… And right in front of Jungkook? Were you serious? Do you hate him this much?
In a hurry, Jungkook takes his phone and opens his iMessage. He taps on your name— which is easy because it’s pinned—and sends you a text. 
Then, he puts his phone down and begins to shove food into his mouth. He stays quiet and glares at the meat as if the meat did him wrong too. He can’t even begin to express how he feels—it’s just all over the place. He is all over the place.
When his text is sent, your phone vibrates. You glance at Jungkook, a little confused as you see that he sent you a text. Sliding your phone open, you tap on his message.
mfker [8:32PM]: video attachment
Curiously, you tap on the video. As it loads, you turn down your phone volume just in case it was too loud. When the volume icon goes away, your screen reveals a familiar zooming in shot of Jungkook's face. He rolls his eyes and you hear yourself laugh. Suddenly, the angle switches to you holding the camera out at arms length.
You see the corner of your face. Your boobs. Your ass. His abs. His smirk. Him. Naked.
Your hands fly to your mouth, stopping yourself from gasping out-loud.
The sex tape.
Your sex tape with him.
In a split second, you shut your phone and turn it over. Wide-eyed, you push yourself away from the table and make the effort to excuse yourself. Everyone acknowledges your announcement but for Jungkook. He doesn’t even look up.
As you get up, you turn to him. You utter under your breath, “meet me outside. We need to talk.”
Tumblr media
The minute Jungkook slams his car door shut, you get right to the point. 
“What the fuck was that?”
Jungkook settles into his seat, unafraid of your anger. He was unashamed. What he did was reckless, yes, but it was no mistake. 
With a nonchalant tone, he answers you. “What? The video? You told me to send it to you.”
Groaning, you bring your hands to your face. “Not during dinner! Not when our friends are sitting beside us! That was fucking embarrassing. Are you trying to humiliate me? That shit is private. It's us intimate. What kind of game are you playing—”
“I’m not playing any fucking game,” Jungkook controls his rage. “Why are you so embarrassed? Because it’s me fucking you in that video and not Eunwoo?”
Your eyes widen at his words. 
You want to scream. Instead, with a calm and slow tone, you confront him. “So… That’s what this is about?” 
Jungkook sighs heavily, clearly fed up with this conversation already. He doesn’t answer you. Instead, he reaches over and opens his glove compartment. As he rummages through, you huff at his avoidance. When he finds what he needs, he aggressively shuts the compartment closed. You watch as he brings his device to his lips. Inhaling, he takes a hit of his vape. 
You glare at him.
“Can you do that on your own time? I’m trying to talk to you.”
He turns to you and blows a puff at you. 
“Jungkook,” you warn him, “stop it.”
In response, he shrugs and takes a final hit. 
“I didn’t even know you vape,” you say quietly. “Aren’t you supposed to take care of your body and shit? As an athlete?”
He chuckles at the label. Athlete. Sure, that’s what he was… But he was also on a break for a good amount of time. He was also human. 
“I’m just stressed,” he admits. “You make me stressed.”
You laugh and take the opportunity to grab the vape from his hands. Without much thought, you open your door and toss it out. He rolls his eyes and just as he’s about to open his car door to retrieve it—you catch his wrist. 
“Can you focus on me?” 
As much as he hates to admit it, your words will always win him over. Even though he hesitates, he surrenders. Jungkook settles himself into his seat again and puts his hands on the wheel. Bowing his head, he shuts his eyes and takes a moment. 
Silence fills the car as you two try to figure out which direction this conversation should go. So far, not so good. 
You attempt once again. This time, you go from a different angle. 
“Why did you leave me earlier today? I know you were busy but… You didn’t even say goodbye.” In all honesty, you hate it when you say shit like this. You feel so weak and like you could let out a sob in between words. Not to mention the fact that you’re rarely in this position. This was new. You have never fought for anyone the way you fight for Jungkook.
“I had a game.”
Jungkook’s concise answer irks you. Was he fucking serious? Could he try even just a little bit?
“I know you had a game.. At least, I found out through Mina’s Instagram post… Which… I mean, you didn’t even bother telling me you had a game. Yuna goes to those—I can too.”
No.
That’s not even what you really mean to say. What you mean to say is: I want to go to your games. I want you to want me to be there. I want you to care if I’m there or not. I want to be the one wearing your fucking jersey. 
Jungkook responds plainly, “I told you… I didn’t feel like begging for you to come.”
“You don’t have to beg,” you pitch. “I would have—”
“You would have what?” he sneers. “Would you have come then? Without me asking? Without me telling you? Or did you come out of spite? Like, the fact that Mina was around me and you weren’t… Is that what brought you to me today?” 
Hilarious.
Wow, what a dick.
“No,” you object. “I came because you came over for a quickie and then left. Without a word. Without a kiss. It was unlike you. I wanted to talk about it but you’re acting like this and I can’t—I don’t understand what’s going on. Jungkook, what’s going on?”
At this point, you're practically desperate. You reach for his hands. Eyes searching for his, he shakes your grip off his hands the second you intertwine them. You furrow your eyebrows, completely confused and shocked at his rejection. Wasn’t this what he wanted?
“I hate you.”
Suddenly, your throat feels dry. In an attempt to calm your mind, you search for his hands again. For the second time, he pushes yours away. Then, you brace yourself. What he says next could ultimately be the end… Right? This is where everything is headed. 
The end. 
Then, he says the oddest thing. 
“I hate perilla leaves.”
You tilt your head at him. “What?”
“Are you going to marry him?”
You blink.
“Who?”
“Eunwoo.”
For a moment, you wonder if he’s joking. Was he actually serious? Your question is answered as Jungkook lifts his head and looks at you with a sad expression. It takes you by surprise. Come to think of it—you’ve never seen him upset. At least, not like this. Not sad. Not defeated.
“You’re mad at me… Because of a perilla leaf?”
Your loss for words. Unexplainable. Unbelievable.
He looks at you with despair. “Do you not get it? ___, the next thing to happen after you peel perilla leaves with someone is holding hands with them. Then, you fall in love. Marriage. Babies. What about me? What happens to me, huh? What happens to us? You don't even hold my hand.”
You’re dumbfounded. 
“Jungkook, you can’t be serious…”
“He patted your head. Are you a fucking dog?”
Sharply, you mention, “I patted your head too.”
It doesn’t matter. He looks at you dead in the eyes. “Eunwoo is supposed to be your ex-boyfriend, not your fiancé.”
You almost gag. “He’s not my fiancé—”
“You peeled the perilla—no. You let him feed you. Fuck you for that.”
Frustrated, you curse. “Holy shit, do you hear yourself?” 
He doesn't utter another word. Instead, he stays quiet. Then, when you open your mouth to speak, he beats you to it.
“I hate Eunwoo.”
A beat.
“I hate Mina.”
Just as expected, Jungkook provokes you. 
“What the hell does Mina have to do with this—”
“Everything!” you express rather triggered. "Look, I don't know what you expect from me. I’m not going to go to your fucking practices with a towel in my hand ready to wipe your precious golden sweat. I’m not Mina—”
Jungkook cuts you off only to repeat his question. “What the hell does you not being Mina have to do with all of this? How does that justify the perilla leaf?”
At this point, you feel like you're losing your mind. Childishly, you chant: “Fuck the perilla leaf. The issue is that you're all about her. Mina this, Mina that! You’re so fucking annoying with her—”
Jungkook snaps. “Are you this insecure?”
“Fuck that,” you grumble. “She was wearing your jersey today. How do you think that made me feel?”
He glares at you. “You’re fucking insane if you think I rather see her wear my jersey over you.”
“Why’d she have it on then?” you interrogate. “Are you fucking her too?”
Line: crossed.
There's madness in Jungkook's eyes. His chest burns in slow anger and feels like he's overheating from everything you've said and done thus far. He's tired.. He feels like he's losing.
Fuck it.
One last fight.
One last try.
“Are you fucking serious?” Jungkook slows down his words, trying his best not to raise his voice. It’s so fucking hard. He’s so irritated by your attitude and your fucking delusion. “___, I acted like a total douche to Mina today so she’d leave me alone. I feel horrible already, but I also feel relieved. So, stop it. You don’t have to hate her. You shouldn’t hate her. You don’t need to make these fucking assumptions because that’s just out of line.”
Like fire, your own anger consumes you. “Are you defending her?”
“There’s nothing to defend,” he insists, voice beginning to tremble. “Holy shit, I was such a douche to her already so you can chill.”
You glare at him. “I am chill.”
Lies.
“You gave me a blowjob that one time so I wouldn’t make it to my dinner plans with her,” he comments. “That was a pretty bitch move.”
Out of reflex, your mouth drops a little. You can not believe it. Did he really bring that up? “Excuse me?”
Jungkook blinks at you. “It was a bitch move. I didn’t mind, though. Why? Because it felt like you wanted me. Every time you make me feel that way—I can’t let that shit go.”
“So what? Do you want me to say thank you?” you spit. “Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t care if you—”
“You never asked for it, I get that,” Jungkook interrupts you. He takes a minute. Suddenly, he recalls his moment with Mina at the field and feels his heart break a little. So... This is what it feels like to be on the receiving end. “What I’m saying is that I stopped entertaining her because I—well, I thought it would ease your heart. You overthink so fucking much, I'm beginning to run out of solutions. Do you even know how much I hate your jokes? The ones about me talking to other girls? I hate them. I only talk to you. I only think of you. Only you.” 
Your heart drops. 
“I never asked for any of that.” 
Something is wrong.
All your words are wrong. Everything you want to say is not coming out of your mouth. What you mean to say to him is; oh my god. You didn’t have to do that for me, but I feel so seen and heard that you did. 
Jealousy has always been a funny thing. Never has it been triggered the way it is when it comes to you and Jungkook. Though some may argue this to be toxic, it is simply the truth about relationships. Jealousy is a healthy emotion as long as it is expressed and validated moderately. It’s so hard to be upset with Jungkook when his confessions are so wholesome. He did a kind thing for you. He did it to bring you peace. Here you are, acting ungrateful because you can’t fathom the way he cares for you.
Jungkook huffs. “___, that’s exactly it. You never need to ask when it comes to me. Whatever you want, I give. I fold. Tenfold. That’s the fucking cycle we’re in and I’m beginning to get sick of it.” 
A silence falls upon you two. All you hear are the raindrops from the sky begin to splat on his window. For a moment, you get so lost in your thoughts, that your head begins to hurt. After a few more moments of silence, you realize it isn't your head.
It's your heart.
It feels like a knife has been stabbed into it—his and yours. All at once, it just aches. You both feel it. Your hearts grow tired and fragile.
Truly, it's ironic how the gentle silence is ruined by such brutal words. It's then when the knife, that was stabbed into both of your hearts, twists.
"What do we do now?"
"I think we need a break."
880 notes · View notes
nelkcats · 1 year
Text
Amity's hero
Don't let Amity Parkers lose their hero or you will face the consequences; even good intentions can become unforgivable
The Justice League didn't speak directly to the G.I.W, they didn't quite take their word for it but reports of ghost attacks and property damage caught their attention, the call log with the multiple Amity Park appearances being the most ignored of the list practically marked as spam broke their hearts.
So they arrived as a team, yelling about getting rid of the ghosts, certain that their presence would only cause long-term damage, Phantom immediately showed up, questioning what was wrong; they simply ignored him and began to recite that he and his kind should return to his place of origin (because these ghosts must have a place far from earth, right? They had read something about them living in another dimension), ignoring all Phantom's pleas by simply listening
Unlike a few years ago, Amity Park was not under attack, it had a direct truce with Infinite Realms in which the ghosts were on their best behavior, playing with humans, protecting them from unknown entities (because this was their Amity, they were territorial), keeping at bay the animal ghosts that came out of natural portals, and turning from villains to heroes, being led by his King Phantom, the one who started it all.
The ghosts were happy with the arrangement and with being able to visit human world; Klemper, Lunch Box and Youngblood made a lot of new friends, Ember had concerts, Johnny and Kitty formed their own biker gang, Spectra was the psychologist she'd tried to be at first, Walker kept everyone in line, even ghosts who straight up preferred the realms visited from time to time: Pandora, Frostbite, Ghost Writer, etc. Even Nocturn tried to give everyone good dreams.
But the heroes didn't care, they considered everyone as "threats" and threatened them, Phantom, completely tired of being ignored looked towards his city and gave them a sad smile, you couldn't reason with those who didn't want to listen to you "If we do that Amity could be in danger" he tried one last time, the league didn't know how to deal with liminals.
"We'll protect them, you're just invaders making them sick in the end" Green Lantern snorted, as if it was the obvious solution "So get out and leave these people alone"
"Fine, but when you see how badly you end up handling everything, call us" Danny was tired, he could reason with his own parents and not with all these "heroes", he supposed it was better to teach them the consequences. He tossed a Fentonphone at them, hoping they'd do the right thing.
Flash felt uncomfortable when he saw the ghost children approaching the humans, were they attacking them? He was about to interfere when he saw the human children approach the ghosts to hug them and cry together; he reasoned that made sense, sure the kids didn't know their friends were dangerous, but something inside of him wasn't satisfied with that answer.
Then Danny just whistled, attracting the attention of the ghosts in the city "Well, you heard them, go back to the realms" complaints could be heard, both from the ghost and the human sides. But for now, the halfa had some kind of plan in mind.
Wonder Woman felt especially uncomfortable when she saw Pandora walk past Phantom, giving her a disappointed look, Batman told her that surely she wasn't her friend, and that if she was she wouldn't be the same person, but she wasn't so sure about that.
The ghosts withdrew from Amity then, going through the portal that the Phantom himself had opened in the center of the city, each one of Justice League members could feel the hateful looks pointing directly at them "It's for the best", Batman informed them "we'll assign you heroes that monitor that they do not return"
"NO" that seemed to be what broke the silence "We don't want any more heroes, Phantom is our hero" and with that said, a girl of about 8 years old hugged the halfa's leg, crying uncontrollably "Please don't go"
The League was about to interfere when Phantom reached down, picking up the girl "I don't want to leave Stacy" he whispered stroking her back lovingly, hoping she would stop crying "But the guys over there say I'm a danger to you and you know I want to keep you safe" he kissed the girl's head, handing her over to her parents "I love you Amity Park, thank you for loving me back" he told the population affectionately, before going through the portal.
The League just looked uncomfortably, once there were no more ghosts they informed the city that they would send heroes regularly for protection and monitoring the situation but the city inhabitants just scoffed.
"You don't get it" Dash spoke, completely furious "Phantom is to Amity what Batman is to Gotham" he frowned "And rest assured that this city will protect him from you, we don't care if you told him to leave, we'll bring him back, you're way over your head on this" he continued "Of course, you don't understand because you're the hero in this scenario, and you don't know what a city feels when you take away their hero"
The Justice League only watched as the townspeople turned their backs on them, but they reasoned again that it was for the best, eventually the townspeople would understand.
A few days passed and Amity declared itself isolated from the League, every time they tried to send a hero they rejected, over and over again; dozens of different heroes couldn't get past the limits because they were shot, taunted, or simply knocked unconscious before entering. Superman was starting to regret destroying Phantom's phone but they had to know how it worked, at the end it was a regular phone with weird aesthetic.
The only "hero" who managed to cross the limits was Red Hood, who at the end of the day became a messenger "You don't understand B, that city is out for blood" Jason tried to reason with Bruce "They're furious, I swear I saw a 6-year-old boy practicing archery and the target had your head placed in the center" it was not normal for Jason to worry, Bruce was a hero, but for the same reason he did not know what it felt like when you lost one. Amity had basically been building her own army within the barriers, they even offered him refuge away from heroes "You must talk to them."
"Mhm" Batman hummed, pulling out his comlink to schedule a meeting, he'd thought of calling one anyway, he'd had sightings of what looked like animal ghosts all over Gotham but they were basically invincible, he wondered if it was Phantom's revenge.
"Just give them back their hero Batman" was what the commissioner Gordon told him when he asked for an opinion on how to deal with the reaction of the city "They're right, you don't know what it feels like"
Of course, Batman couldn't be wrong, so he guessed Gordon's comment was due more to his weariness. Upon arrival he noticed everyone completely dejected, basically stating animal ghosts and ¿drops? through all their cities. They couldn't fight any of them so they decided to go back to Amity, they figured if they had fought these things for years they must have knowledge.
Upon reaching the city, although they were allowed to pass, they were greeted with mockery, half the population carried one weapon or another, the League was tense "Having problems so soon?" Paulina looked at her neon green nails, she was sure she could cut a man with them "You should have accepted Phantom's help, you know"
"Phantom was a threat invading your city" Batman growled "we saw the reports, his continued presence caused medical changes in all of you that you won't even let us see"
"Make no mistake" Mikey interrupted him "Amity was always an access point to the Zone, we were contaminated long before you existed" and of course they would not trust this heroes with their liminal status, Frostbite was already helping them before all the mess and they did not need to add human doctors with no knowledge.
"Then what do you suggest? We let the ghosts come back and destroy the whole city?" Hal scoffed, completely incredulous of how they were being treated, from the first second they refused to give any useful information.
"It's funny that you think we can't defend ourselves" Paulina rolled her eyes "you all could be beaten by Mikey, and is Mikey, no offense" she shot a look at the boy next to her.
"None taken" Mikey shrugged, it wasn't the first time.
"The thing is, we're just used to it; we like to be protected and not have to protect ourselves, it may sound cowardly of us but we're civilians" Kwan spoke "we're not defenseless, but we prefer not taking action, our hero made sure of it so we don't like to take cards in the whole self-sacrifice thing"
"Phantom is a danger" Superman tried to stand his ground.
"For us?" Star sneered "Or for you?"
"Besides, if you think we don't move out of the city for aesthetics, you're wrong, we just like to feel safe" Dash yawned, bored with the conversation "Phantom and the other ghosts are territorial, it's kind of nice, no threat gets past that sign, rates of crime? Zero, very difficult to want to kill or assault someone if they can come back as a ghost to kill you I guess"
"But the reports" Flash was worried about the indifference.
"The reports from 5 years ago? Before we had the truce that you guys ruined?" Star sneered "I'll call Sam or Tucker and bring Phantom back, we'll start the truce again, get out of Amity"
"You can't do that." Superman crossed his arms, trying to remain threatening as Hal muttered in a panic about breaking peace treaties and the Oa wanting his head.
"Oh, but we can" Paulina approached Superman, running her hand over his arm "and we'll do it" slowly, she placed her fingernail on his suit, cutting the material and drawing blood from the hero, who immediately moved away at the threat.
"Get the hell out of Amity and don't come back" Dash rolled his eyes, stroking a ghost snake, the heroes tensing more at their newest enemy.
"It was you?" growled Batman; recognizing the snake as one of the many haunting Gotham.
"Not exactly, the veil ruptures always existed" Kwan said, stroking the head of a ghost wolf "We only tame them, or send them back to the Realms, if there were veil ruptures it's not our problem" he looked towards the League "If any of them escaped because we weren't watching and they followed your scent it's not our fault either"
"And can you tell us um, how to deal with them, or tame them?" Flash tried.
"No, since you are sooo good at gathering information I'm sure you will come up with something" With that said, Dash motioned for the snake to lead the heroes away and before they knew it they were all thrown away from the city.
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osachiyo · 5 months
Note
can we talk about sugar daddy fyodor too?
white lace ・ fedya ─── f!reader . sugar daddy!fedya hcs (?) approx 0.7k ᘎᘏ cw n/sfw mindbreak dark content naïve!reader manipulation use of the word daddy etc (mdni)
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sugar daddy!fyodor who just wants a... distraction from everything. being a genius terrorist is hard, y'know? he's human after all, and as much as he hates to admit it− everyone has certain urges they desire to fulfill, no?
sugar daddy!fyodor who gets forced by nikolai to go to a bar, "have some fun!", the magician said− only to ditch the sickly russain man after having a few drinks, making out with a 'ditzy blonde bitch' as nikolai called her, in a secluded corner of the bar.
sugar daddy!fyodor who is annoyed, frustrated even. the place smelled like sweat and sex, people messily grinding onto each other and dancing provocatively− he hated it. but then you come by, and immediately catch his eye. you're a shy girl− but he manages to strike up a conversation with you smoothly. you're a college student, struggling to juggle two side jobs to pay for your tuition fees and study at the same time. it's pitiful, really. but as you were talking, voiced slurred from the drinks he bought you− fyodor couldn't help but notice how.. attractive you were. the way your tits bounced every time you moved, or the way he could see your cleavage from his point of view.your glossy lips parting as huffed breaths escaped you− you'd make a good toy for him, really.
sugar daddy!fyodor who decides, that he would take mercy upon you. he liked you. that's why he proposed that he'd pay for your tuition fully, even take care of your other needs− you just have to do something in return for him as well. and in the midst of your drunked haze, the proposal sounded heavenly. he made you sign a contract and everything− even getting your fingerprint on it. you thought the contract was only about him taking care of your needs and you doing something in return for him. but only if you weren't drunk− if you read the paper more clearly, if only you were so naïve− you'd see it officially labels you as "fyodor dostoyevsky's property".
sugar daddy!fyodor who only grins when you ask him what you had to do in return, combing a slender hand through your hair as he tells you not to worry about it for now.
sugar daddy!fyodor who actually keeps his word, paying off your student loans fully as well as buying you everything you desire. even though you had no idea where the money was coming from, and he'd refused to tell you multiple times− you couldn't bring yourself to really care as you practically glowed in happiness, seeing your wardrobe− the multiple designer bags, designer clothes and accessories he had gifted you. it was...addicting, much like the mysterious man himself.
sugar daddy!fyodor who finally, finally indulges himself after making you believe that you're indebted to him and you owe him your life, your career− you as a whole.
sugar daddy!fyodor who buys you the most beautiful, expensive set of lingerie− the white lace complimenting your complexion with utter perfection. "you look angelic, my dear," he'd say in a honeyed tone, caressing your sides in faux affection but you miss the way his voice holds an edge to it− the way his lavender eyes now darkened to a much, much darker tone as he relishes in the way the white lace hugs your curves perfectly− accentuating all parts of your body so nicely. it made him want to rip the clothing off of you− forcefully having his way with you and leaving you a crying, debauched mess and..but he figures that's a thought for later.
sugar daddy!fyodor who takes his time unraveling your intricate lingerie, peeling off the layers with delicate but chewed up fingers as you flush and giggle at receiving his attention. he'd kiss each and every part of your body; your face, neck, collarbones, chest, god those perky tits of yours, your stomach, thighs, calves then slowly make his way between your legs, head resting against the meat of your thigh as you twitch and flutter your eyes in need. he'd purposely miss the spot where you needed him the most, only smiling at the way you don't even ask him to, just patiently waiting until he wants to fuck that pretty cunt of yours.
sugar daddy!fyodor who feels...powerful at having you under his mercy like this− all sprawled out and cunt leaking, ruining the pretty lace but you don't dare tell him to touch you, patiently waiting for him even if it makes tiny tears prickle at the corners of your eyes. this is why he chose you− you know your place and don't dare go out of your lane. so he figures he might as well give into you now.
sugar daddy!fyodor who has you fully nude underneath him, your chest heaving as he traces a finger up and down your slit, your legs struggling to stay open from his feather light but teasing touches. his finger circling your sweet little clit in a clockwise motion before switching to the other way− watching as your brows furrow and lips part to let out noises that one would only describe as sinful. but he loved it− oh so loved it how you whimpered his name with utter neediness, hips bucking up into his hand only to get pushed back down, the older man's smooth but rich voice telling you to be patient, won't you be a good girl for daddy?
sugar daddy!fyodor who'd only prepare you half-heartedly. he, too, was growing impatient while torturing you with the slight touches that he couldn't help but press a soft kiss to your clit before pulling his fingers out and quickly replacing them with his cock.
sugar daddy!fyodor who'd watch the way your pussy sucked him in, bottoming out inside of you with a wet 'pop!' he'd pick you up in his lap and lean against the headboard, breath hitched as you clenched and unclenched around him.
sugar daddy!fyodor who'd only grin smugly when you look at him through your pretty lashes in confusion. he'd only sigh and mock you for being such a dumb little girl, "silly girl. I buy you all these luxuries and I have to put in work even in the bedroom? tsk, tsk."
sugar daddy!fyodor who watches you sputter and apologize, lips jutted out to a cute little pout as you try and lift your hips, only to slam back down on his throbbing cock. your eyes would be on him the entire time− god, was he beautiful. baby hairs sticking to sweaty his forehead as he sighed out uneven breaths, a flush covering his face to the base of his neck, brows furrowed as thin lips part to let out soft moans while he tips his head back− revealing his collarbones and neck for you to press sweet kisses on, your smudged lipstick leaving stains on his milky skin.
sugar daddy!fyodor who'd watch as you hop on his dick, breaths bouncing with each move and just begging him to twist and pull your perked nipples. and he did− shaky fingers gently caressing the soft fat of your tits, ever so softly circling around your buds before landing three swift smacks on each of them− making you cry out and halt your movements, only to have him thrust up into you from below, calling you a "pathetic slut who can't even do such a simple request".
sugar daddy!fyodor who tells you to rub that little clit of yours yourself. you want him to do it? no, why should he? you're lucky he even gave you the permission to cum in the first place− don't forget you're his property, nothing more, nothing less.
sugar daddy!fyodor who agrees to stay and cuddle for the night after you're finished, even reluctantly letting you apply your ridiculously expensive skincare products on him− that he spent a hefty amount of cash on.
sugar daddy!fyodor who leaves early in the morning− but not before leaving a fat stack of money on the bedside table; a silent order for you to buy some white lacey lingerie, and of course− treat yourself with the rest.
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©sachiyoh— do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated ♡
a/n : THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A 400 WORD DRABBLE BUT THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I WRITE FOR FYODOR. anyway...I hoped y'all enjoyed <3
TAGS »»————> @hopefulpain @inkmooon @constant-existential-terror @nda-approval @mellieellie @seiiushi @lynxxyyy @kentopedia
@sorahatsumi @himebwrries @nopethenope @neviex @fyodorisbbg @stygianoir @saharei @x-lunawrites-x @munnaitorei @emyyy007 @dearhoney-31 @the-foreigner @angoisfine @hannzai @honeycombflowers-blog @yuiiasathesilly @kaithegremlin @poisonedslop @sukiischaotic @squigglewigglewoo @boba-is-good @cupidszvlvr @ashthemadwriter @4xxxv @bloobewy @mrs-bakugou @hauntedsol @ask-me-or-not @hanakotateyama @qqingque @lunaeheroine18 @kissesmellow21 @dazaichuuya69 @xxsilverjackalxx @gettinshiggywithit @leftrunawaybanana @deaths-presence @sugaredpersimmon @rjssierjrie @iheartpieck @angelof-darkness @otakudul @dazaisimpletmereadfanficspls @hellokitty-4-lele @scinclaitnoir @aly-insanity @kemis-world @bisexuawolfsalt @thateldribitch
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greatwyrmgold · 24 days
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After finishing Dungeon Meshi, I had a lot of thoughts. Most of them were thoughts I'd seen echoed by other people, but there's one thing I don't think I've seen anyone else say:
Everyone hates Laios.
Obviously Kabru makes hating Laios his whole personality for a while, and the western elves think he'd be a dreadful dungeon master Lord of the Dungeon, and half of his party gets annoyed by his enthusiasm for monster cuisine. But I'm not talking about that.
Let's start with how almost literally everyone thinks he'd be the worst possible Lord of the Dungeon.
(cut this down)
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This isn't just Kabru being in his "hating Laios is my entire personality" phase; everyone assumes that Laios's desires being fulfilled by the dungeon would be bad for humanity.
To be clear, they're wrong. Sure, Laios is susceptible to the Winged Lion's temptation, but so is everyone. At least Laios's stint as ersatz dungeon lord didn't have a body count! (Unless you count the Winged Lion's clones.)
But that doesn't matter, does it? People hated him before he reveals his obsession with monsters, and they have no shortage of reasons. Laios keeps talking about monsters and asking unwanted questions, he can't hold a normal conversation, he can't read the room or understand social cues, he doesn't fit in anywhere.
Laios does his best to act normal (most obviously when he pretends not to notice the Golden Country spirit because no one else sees it), but it's not good enough. People can still tell that he's different. They hate him when he acts weird and they hate him when he acts normal. Don't take it from me; take it from Chilchuck.
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The left panel is the whole reason this post exists. It states in plain English that Laios would still be ostracized even if he only said "reasonable" things. People's distaste and distrust of him isn't rooted in how he acts or what he says, but in who he is.
...
Pretty much anyone who knows what they're talking about accepts that Laios is autistic. Probably also Falin, maybe also other party members, but Laios is definitely the poster boy for Dunmeshi autism. And the reasons people hate him are pretty closely aligned with his autism. That's usually subtext, but Shuro says the quiet part out loud.
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Shuro doesn't know about the monster-eating or think Laios is gonna destroy humanity. He just can't stand Laios's eccentricities. And he's far from alone.
We don't see a lot of Laios's childhood, outside his interactions with Falin...but the subtext isn't great. You don't need to be a seasoned dungeoneer to recognize that someone is "different"; any kid can do it. And from the sparse glimpses we've seen of the Thorden parents—Laios's nightmare, the little indications that he shaves to avoid looking like his father, etc—they don't seem to have accepted their son's differences, either.
I doubt anyone in the Dungeon Meshi world knows the word "autism". If you tried to explain it to the Thorden party, their reactions would probably range from "Are you sure that's a thing?" to "Come on, everyone thinks like that sometimes, right?" But you don't need words to recognize difference, or to loathe it, or to make different people's lives hell. To make them want to escape their lives, by whatever means are necessary.
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Is it any wonder Laios identifies with monsters, when so many people already treat him like one?
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voidpumpkin · 2 years
Text
A Guide For New Users Fleeing From Twitter, From A User Who Needed One When They First Started:
Hi to everyone fleeing from twitter, Elon Musk is shit and he already has had an actively harmful effect on the site, one that will only get worse. So, welcome to Tumblr, it can be kind of intimidating, given its reputation and how many different features there are, I was certainly confused and intimidated when I first logged on and as I'm active on both I sympathise with y’all, so here’s a guide to anyone new:
Put your hashtags in the hashtag section. This is the only way they’ll actually have any sort of effect, or appear when you search for something. Don’t post them on the post itself.
There is a character limit for hashtags and a quite high hashtag limit. Go wild. Writing entire speeches is common. 
Don’t tag lots of unrelated stuff to your posts, that’ll get you reported for Spam and just hated in general
Don’t censor words, users are fine with swearing, doing so especially with triggering content makes it hard for people to limit their exposure to said triggering content.
There’s no such thing as ratioing.
We don’t have quote retweeting, every reblog, comment, etc counts to op’s post. They can see it all, and will be notified depending on their notification settings.
Change your icon, people will think you’re a bot if you use the default.
Give yourself a bio, it’ll make you look like a person.
Follow people and tags, that’s the only way you’re gonna see the content you wanna see. The foryoupage isn’t to be trusted.
Actually reblog stuff, liking has no effect, reblogging is the only important thing here as there is no like based algorithm. Doing so will also make you appear human.
You can hide your likes and who you’re following. Doing so is not frowned upon in the slightest.
You can block tags, similarly to muting words on twitter.
You can have multiple blogs tied to one account. 
You can customise your blog, go wild.
There is no word limit, you can write as you want. But if it gets too long make use of the keep reading feature, (the three dots beside the add gif feature)
There is an image limit of thirty, up from the former ten, though for some they may be stuck at only using ten, tumblr is kinda inconsistent. If you want to add more you’ll have to reblog your own post. 
There is no reblogging limit when it comes to a post, though there is a daily posting limit, go wild, only your followers will be upset.
You can have videos, gifs and pictures in the same post.
You can just post audio.
Adult content is still banned, but actual moderation and enforcement is spotty, especially if it’s written. 
Spam liking and reblogging isn’t a thing. Go wild.
You have an ask box that people can submit stuff to. You can respond or just delete the post. You can remove anon capability from it (which will get rid of most of the hate), or outright bar it.
You can’t private your account but you can restrict commenting and reblogging. Edit: I’ve been informed that you can in fact make your blog password protected, it’s just that it’s a rarely done thing and not widely known.
Block whoever and whenever, it’s not a big deal. Though if someone you’ve blocked has reblogged and added to a post and someone you follow reblogs that, their commentary will still be included in the post you see.
We don’t have muting, only blocking.
Yes, direct messaging is a thing (it’s the little smiley face)
The only way to promote your is through ‘tumblr blaze’, you pay a certain amount of money and your post will be promoted, but not targeted, so no invasions of privacy. You are subject to the employee’s whims on whether or not it gets promoted and unfortunately hate speech has been allowed.
Tumblr has tendency to hide/consume comments, posts and asks, don’t be surprised if they go missing.
Tumblr searching a blog relies on tags, words in the post and the users name, keep that in mind.
Posts will remain after you delete your account or the original post if they have been reblogged.
Years old posts are still circulating and that is considered normal.
You can queue up posts to be released when you’re not using your account. Or you can just post whenever you’re active. Go wild.
Wizards exist and are very popular on this site. Accept it.
There are posts with no notes that will never gain any more than a sing note for your like. Accept it.
There are posts will no op. Accept it.
Trans and autistic people dominate this site.
Don’t get pissy when someone tags a post ‘tw (insert slur)’, or any trigger warning for that matter, most are just being considerate of their followers who may be triggered by such content.
Twitter discourse is regularly mocked, it’s not gonna fly here.
No, we don’t call each other oomfs, or anything like that. We just have mutuals.
Tumblr in general lacks a lot colloquialisms that began on twitter.
We do have ‘blorbo’ ‘poor little meow meow’ etc.
Trying to go viral or trying to corporate is frowned upon.
Tumblr has a tendency to blacklist things tagged like ‘crowdfunding’ so bring that kind of logic you use for twitter posts over to tumblr.
We don’t have twitter circles, co-posting, etc.
Tumblr is surprisingly good at recommending blogs.
There are no verified accounts, and your follower count isn't visible. This is a good thing, trying to change it will get you laughed at.
People are going to just make up stuff, don’t believe everything you see and if it’s a claim about someone, investigate it rather than just believe it.
You can edit your posts after you’ve posted them, but the versions reblogged before said changes will still circulate. This editing of the original has been used as a spruce of comedy
If your worried about people seeing your potentially triggering, or even graphic content and they haven’t blocked the tags you’ve used you can use the keeping reading feature to put the content under the cut and post a warning at the top.
And this is quite important:
Stay anonymous and have fun. There isn’t an expectation to constantly expose inner details of your life, you aren’t expected to use your real face, your real name, age, etc. You’re not even expected to be truthful here. Exist however you wanna exist and have fun, that should be the point of social media. 
Also keep in mind that tumblr has its own distinct culture that is going to take some getting used to. As well as a history any user who’s been here a while will at least somewhat understand.
Also I'll be editing the post with additional info and corrections provided to me.
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spacebarbarianweird · 1 month
Note
Hi! Can I request either a fic or headcanon of romanced Astarion and a good aligned, Human tav having a fight about him doing the Ascension ritual (Tav being against it, and trying to gently make him see reason), then Astarion gets incredibly angry and shouts something awful (maybe the 'I hope you die screaming' or the ' the problem with what cazador did is that he did it to me' when she says ascending will make him a new cazador). She's hurt and shocked and retreats from the fight. She starts leaving Astarion in camp etc. given she thinks he hates her and she also is angry at him for still thinking lives are expandable. Then one night he gets kidnapped by his siblings and when he wakes up in the kennels he is sure he lost her forever now, and never see her again cause why would she save him? Only for her to come and save him from Cazador. Sorry for the long request! Could it be from Astarion's pov as well? Thank you!
Hi! It has been a long time sice I wrote reader instead of OC Tiriel! And sorry for making you wait for so long!
It's Over
Tags: hurt/comfort, angst
Thanks @themadlu for beta-reading!
Read on AO3
Masterlist
Headcanons
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It's over.
Astarion's wrists bleed and he's been staring at the pool of blood for what feels like an eternity.
The tadpole took away his instant regeneration and now his torturers can enjoy the most peculiar spectacle ever.
Opening Astarion's wounds.
His skin is flayed, his face is covered in bruises. Pain is already numbed—the tadpole doesn't like its host being killed.
Maybe he can finally die?
A kick in the stomach forces him to vomit blood. Punishment. Yes, it's his punishment for tasting freedom. For breaking the rules.
The taste of love.
His siblings are watching the execution with undisguised gloating. Astarion is getting what he deserved. He never helped with their plans to escape—but it was him who slipped from their master's hands.
It was intended to be a lesson. Instead it's the best show they've seen in years.
A silver dagger is touching Astarion's face. He can feel the heat of the cursed metal. Marks left by silver are permanent.
It seems like his master is going to take the last thing Astairon owns.
His face.
Astarion silently weeps. His appearance is the only thing he has. His body, his face, his hands. The master needs them, doesn't he? Who will seduce the victims, if not the perfect- looking elf?
The master expects Astarion to beg.
He doesn't. The pathetic whimpers are stuck in his sore throat. He won't give them this pleasure.
Two months of freedom compensated two centuries of slavery. Astarion has self-dignity. He can say 'no'. He can stand for himself.
You taught him that.
The torture continues. And Astarion breaks down.
He screams. He yells. He begs.
The answer to his tears is evil laughter. They wanted a show—he is giving them one.
It lasts for hours. For days. And the two months of freedom fade from Astarion's memory.
It wasn't real. It never happened. It all was a feverish dream.
But Astarion knows it wasn't.
Your face, Your touches. Your love. 
The way you hugged him. The way you touched him. The way you supported him.
You were everything... and he betrayed you.
I hope you die screaming.
At first, you promised to help with the ritual, and he even dared dream about you by his side as he became a vampire overlord. But then, you started backing off. 
Bad idea. No one should make deals with devils. Who knows what Cazador promised in exchange for power.
Astarion cursed you, said every toxic word he had in mind. It was easy to hurt you—you were so vulnerable to him and he even felt sadistic pleasure in doing so.
He expected you to throw him away from the camp, but you just stopped talking to him. Left him alone with his thoughts and anger.
And then, his siblings came to take him.
Astarion was back in the dungeons. Beaten and humiliated without any hope of escape.
"Leave him," the master says. "We have things to prepare"
Astarion is finally left alone. He crawls in the darkest corner and curls there in the fetus position. He couldn't care less about his naked body.
He thinks about you.
He closes his eyes and tries to remember the moments you were together. Cuddles. Yes, cuddles. The thing he expected to like the least. Just two bodies intertwined with each other. No sex, no movements, no words. He could stay like that for hours wrapping around you like a weighted blanket and enjoying your warmth.
The treasure he lost.
Astarion smiles bitterly. You must be in someone's else's arms. Probably the wizard. Yes, you've chosen him because he will never hurt you. His body is warm and he doesn't harm your neck...
He enters the reverie hoping he will see you there.
The only thing he has. The only thing his master can’t take away.
"Oh for fuck sake!" he hears your voice. "What have they done to you?!"
Warm hands hug him and then he feels a cape wrapping his bare shoulders. "Gods, Astarion? Are you alright?"
"You ... You are back..." he mutters.
"Of course, I am!" you hug him. "We are in this together, remember?" you kiss him. “Drink!”
The scent of blood pierces his nostrils as you cut your wrist. He grazes in your skin and the divine essence gushes down his throat. 
You are here.
You are back.
You are real.
He pulls away feeling how his wounds slowly heal. “I am sorry,” he mutters.
You kiss his bruised lips. “Well, it did hurt. We need to find your clothes and weapons.”
**
Astarion collapses on the stone floor and weeps. He weeps two centuries taken away from him, his memory, his mind, his soul. His beating heart. He mourns his innocence, his body and his cries echo through the chambers.
Soft hands caress his shoulders. “I am here, I am here with you. You did the right thing.”
“It is all over, isn’t it?” he sniffs.
“Yes, love,” you kiss his cheek. “It’s over.”
--
Tag list
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chaoticace2005 · 1 month
Text
Spiders, their senses, and Angel Dust implications
I already screamed to @xxqueenofdragonsxx about this but figured I’d put it out there because I was doing research and I can’t stop thinking about it.
While we don’t know how canon it is to the show, this does have some implications for fanfics and is fun to consider.
Spiders don’t have ears. Or noses. Or tongues.
People have already made jokes about Angel’s lack of a nose, but it tracks with that fact. We also don’t see his ears, although we have seen his tongue (which, given he isn’t an actual spider there can be some allowances made.) Yes, he doesn’t have pedipalps to act as a substitution for his nose/tongue, but that isn’t the only place they can smell/taste things.
It’s their legs/feet(?). Their legs and bodies have sensory hair cells that allows them to detect vibrations in the air, as well as changes in electrical fields (which… Vox and Alastor implications? Can Angel sense them.) Humans hear via sensory hair cells too, but those are concentrated in the cochlea of the inner ear and surrounded by the outer/middle ear system (eardrum, etc.) Spiders don’t have that. They also have chemoreceptors that can smell and taste things.
Now, as someone who didn’t know much about spiders it’s cool to think about in terms of a character with some spider-like characteristics. But then I thought about this other aspect of Angel
His clothing
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More specifically his constant usage of gloves/long sleeves/boots. We know he hates his spider feet, and yeah, the usage of gloves and his blazer can be to fit his style, but it’s also fun to think that maybe him wearing them is an active attempt to reduce sensory input? He’d still get some vibration input because the fabric won’t block everything, but it won’t be as direct. But since spider sensory organs aren’t localized like humans are, this could essentially be the equivalent of wearing a headphones. (Also do you really want to taste every single thing you touch?)
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Which brings me to the second order of business: when he DOESNT wear his gloves. We do see him have to be bare for the camera, and if you consider him wearing clothes as a way of sensory modulation, he could essentially be forced to get all that input. Sensory overload would already be so ways in a place with so many sounds, lights, smells, etc. but imagine if you also have to do that when not used to such a level of exposure?
In humans there’s a condition called hyperacusis, which is basically a reduced pain and discomfort threshold to sounds. Some everyday ones can cause pain. Some neurodivergent people also have sensory sensitivities like that, in both cases sometimes headphones can help to reduce input.
The thing is though, if you constantly wear them you’re reducing your own threshold. It’s not recommended for people with hyperacusis to wear earplugs all the time because it makes them even more sensitive when not wearing them.
So, if you apply the same principle here, there is even more reason to consider the idea Angel would have some level of overstimulation just from not having his clothes on, combine that with the work environment, what he has to do, and the emotional turmoil of it all and that just makes it worse.
Which… with me anyways I’ve found when I’m too overloaded my brain tends to nope out and dissociate. So that could be what happens to Angel as well.
Then, there is one time outside of the studio we see him with uncovered arms and that’s the battle at the hotel.
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Here, he’s wearing gloves but his arms are exposed. So it could be said that he’s allowing himself access to more input while also not overwhelming himself. He still has a buffer with the gloves on, but he also has heightened awareness for things around him.
Again, the amount of this actually being applicable in canon is hard to say. Sense we don’t know how spidery Angel really is (since again, he does have a tongue) and what level of research went into that aspect of their character designs. But I think it’s a fun thing to consider.
So uhhh… yeah. Totally normal about this all as someone who totally isn’t interested in audiology, hyperfixating on hazbin hotel, and neurodivergent myself.
(Update: there is now a fic)
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Today in my ethical issues class (it's the first day of class) one of the questions up for debate was "Is it ethical to purchase sex work?"
The first to raise a hand was a guy in the back who basically said "I think it's unethical to do that to yourself as a man, speaking only in terms of men and women, because as a man you don't NEED sex every time you have the desire for it- sex is about human intimacy and emotions, and going so far as to waste your financial resources to buy sex from a stranger is degrading to your self worth." (I paraphrased what he said). Then I was allowed to give a well rounded and to-the-point spiel on why it was impossible for SW to be ethical for all of our usual radfem reasons, and was met with agreement from the full class. There were a few reasonable questions about purchasing people's "work" and "supporting their work" and how that plays into that, especially with the rise of OF, but in the end the entire class seemed satisfied with my explanations for everything (for my Americans, this is a 2000-level ethics class-intro stuff). Most of the students are taking it for their ethics requirement, and they're all like 18-20 years old. The professor is a gay/bisexual man who offered an explanation of why people might have sex for reasons outside of Deep Emotional Intimacy (like gay men only being able to fleetingly meet in secret and express themselves, etc).
Overall, it just filled me with a lot of hope to see so many young people readily accept what is to us something that is rather obvious, like they found it intuitive, despite growing up in our p0rnified culture and being exposed to it as children like all of us were. It also made me realize that we aren't crazy, like, we know all of this "sex work is work!" stuff is just Orwellian mantras being shoved down our throats, because we KNOW the degrading words used for p0rn stars and other "workers", and the only people who want to buy any of that are people (m*n lmao) who hate women. You have to hate women, fundamentally I think, to have a genuine desire to purchase "sex work". You know what it is, I know what it is- we all know what it is. A room full of young adults at a liberal college knows what it is, even the male ones. The "sex work" industry would die without the hatred of women.
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kosher-martian · 4 months
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I'm making this post with full recognition that it might result in a bunch of hateful comments or asks, but I think it has to be said.
This morning I saw two completely unrelated posts (one on reddit and one on tumblr) that referred to Jews as "Jews of Conscience / Jewish People of Conscience" so as to draw contrast between the Jews being discussed and other Jews, based solely on their beliefs and attitudes concerning the Israel-Hamas War.
We really are just doing the whole "one of the good ones" schtick aren't we?
Why do we have to make these performative declarations of our beliefs to remain in the good graces of the self-appointed "good people"? What does that say about the "good people" and their "good politics"? And what does it say about us if we seek their approval?
This is the inevitable outcome of both purity politics and hyper-regimented discourse, which themselves are the consequence of deriving the entirety of one's political litmus test from maximalist sloganeering echo chambers.
This method of forming "good politics" reduces the complexity of the human experience into a simple "us vs them" dynamic, where the dividing line between the two is whether you upvoted or downvoted a screenshot of a pithy tweet.
It frames the world as one with "good people" and "bad people", where those on the side of "good" are scene as virtuous and well-intentioned whereas those on the side of "bad" are at best misinformed and at worst malevolent, sinful monsters. As someone whose virtue has not yet been determined, one who has not declared their affiliation is to be distrusted until they either:
Profess the beliefs of the "good people" without exemption, adopting them whole cloth and never questioning by whom those beliefs were made or whom those beliefs serve.
"Out" yourself as a "bad person".
I want to specifically call attention to that second option. It is always framed as a revelation. Not a sudden change of heart. Not a slow alienation. Not changing material conditions that alter the way someone perceives the world. All "good people" are actually "bad people" (except you, the only true "good person") and it's only a matter of time until someone "reveals who they really are". Everyone is lying about what they actually believe. It's a low-trust environment where every alliance (social, political, etc.) is one of convenience, to be continued until your ally inevitably betrays you for the other side.
To me, the only thing being revealed is the intellectual dishonesty of it all. It's no wonder that you suspect everyone else of lying, because it's exactly what you do. If the only reason you believe something is for the treats and status that believing it gains you, you don't actually believe it. The thing you actually believe is saying whatever is necessary for the treat dispensing machine to dispense your treats.
And so we circle back to the phrase "Jews of Conscience" and what that really means: It means (for the Nth time in Jewish History) Jews are not to be trusted until we "prove" our allegiance to the "good side" or "reveal" our allegiance the "bad side".
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selvyyr · 2 months
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Bro imagine creator!reader with chibi!reader and penguin!reader???
Like in the court i could imagine when sera says the reader's name.reader appears out of the thin air and the other two just runs up to her and cling to her like cmon please please
A gif that i think how reader would look like
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SURE!
Penguin!Reader and chibi!Resder belongs to @deadghosy
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THE FELLOW LITTLE GRACES..
|MASTERLIST!|
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↪Well grace!Reader was just looking around the other universe before seeing a two little figures in distance..
↪When she walked up there.. She was met with two adorable creatures sleeping..Grace!Reader took the two with her to her universe..
↪When the two woke they introduced theirselves as chibi!Reader and penguin!Reader..
↪So yep!They are adopted by grace!Reader Hoorya!
↪Since grace!Reader is god..She'll try to make the two more human alike which worked!
↪penguin!Reader would have their tail amd nose in their human form while chibi!Reader has their little star pupils
↪Sudon love the two alot and would spend some family time with them and grace!Reader
↪The people love them and would often give penguin!Reader and chibi!Reader sweets,toys and etc
↪The upside down entities and people would treat the two like how they treat grace!Reader
↪Penguin!Reader often is in the ice enitity's city.. While chibi!Reader is often in the sugar entity's city alot.
↪One day,the two wanted to go to other universe where grace!Reader were..Which grace!Reader agreed to let them go but in their other form.
↪Grace!Reader told her two older siblings about keep eye on the two.. Which they agreed..
↪When penguin!Reader and chibi!Reader were in hell..They would always find grace!Reader's or sudon's minion eyes keeping eye on them..
↪When the two met lucifer..Chibi!Reader almost bit him..But penguin!Reader stopped them..
↪Lucifer felt like he was watched..Penguin!Reader and chibi!Reader were glaring at him..
↪The two know about what lucifer did to grace!Reader and hates him little..
↪Grace!Reader would be always in their dreams.. Playing with them and telling tales and stories..
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The ending of this fic
↪As sera had quite shocked look on her face.. As she spoke
"The person who will keep penguin!Reader and chibi!Reader is Grace!Reader.."
↪The older siblings was literally smilling and giving thumbs up to the two.
↪Then a star shaped portal opened.. As sudon came out as he spoke
"Where's my little moonlight?"
↪As chibi!Reader ran up to sudon while penguin!Reader looked sround looking for grace!Reader
↪Then grace!Reader came out after sudon.. As she smiled..Looking at penguin!Reader
"Come here my little star!"
↪Said grace!Reader as penguin!Reader just ran up to her.. And hugged her while grace!Reader hugged them back with smile
↪Lucifer looked shocked...His first wife were mother of the two..
↪Grace!Reader looked at her older siblings and nodding.. As they nodded..The court was dismissed but the hell's family could be here for some time..
↪Grace!Reader walked up to the others.. As she smiled sweetly at them..
"Thank you for looking after the two..These two wanted to stay in this universe..And lucifer..?"
Lucifer's breath hitched.. As grace!Reader spoke again..
"I forgive you..We can still stay as friends,and you can keep these two but i'll take them few days later..But for now i'll take them.."
Lucifer nodded as he smiled at her.. Before he could know it.. He was hugged by grace!Reader.. Sudon glared at lucifer so did chibi!Reader
↪After two weeks,grace!Reader would leave the two in hell with lucifer and the others..
↪Penguin!Reader and chibi!Reader would bring their favorite entity's city food/drinks or the creations to the others
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A/N:That's it!Hope ya liked this<3.Have a nice day/evening/night!<3
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