Tumgik
#jk angst
muniimyg · 3 months
Text
ALL AT ONCE // JJK
Tumblr media
seven moments later
+
jungkook confesses and you're in denial
navi | m. list | ask me ! | send an ask to be on the taglist ! i will not be responding to taglist requests anywhere else !
Tumblr media
pairings: unhinged jungkook + shy oc
au/genre:
uni au
friends to lovers
fluff & crack / smut (x) & angst if u squint
mini series
parts:
1: the confession
2: the avoiding
3: the favourite snacks
4: the cold
5: the oblivious (x)
6: the madness
7: the yes or no
end.
+ 3: msgs
+ 6: msgs
2K notes · View notes
springalwayscomes · 9 months
Text
Closer
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Closer (Teaser) Closer: Too Close (Teaser) Masterlist Taglist
Plot: To have each other close is something that you both always wanted, in a way or another. It’s just that… close is not close enough anymore for Jungkook.
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Domestic, Humor, Friends to Lovers
Wordcount: 27k
Content Warning: mentions of masturbation, dirty talk, swearing, pining, minor injury, praise, cunnilingus, cum eating, unprotected sex, mentions of blowjob, masturbation, hand job, dry humping, multiple orgasms, love making, creampie 
Author’s Note: Hello! I had the first line of this fic stuck in my notes for a while, it stayed there without really going anywhere, then inspiration came and the miracle happened in a few days. I like this so much so I hope you will like it too! There are some parts that just do things to my heart, one of these is inspired by Gaelforce. I don’t know if you follow him but if you do you sure will realise when you’ll get there!
Let me know what you think about it, again I hope you’ll like it!💜
If you want to be tagged in my taglis to get notified when my other works will come out let me know here, under this post, with a message or an ask. Feel free to talk to me for whatever, I always appreciate your messages!🫶🏻💜
Tumblr media
Jungkook walked in on you using your vibrator as a microphone when you were nineteen, lipsynching as if your life depended on it. 
He had laughed so fucking loud that time that you still feel your ears grow red when you think about it. 
He has teased you for it from the moment it happened, still does it now.
Back then, it was so freaking hilarious he would bring it up every time you were too mad at him, to make you laugh it off and let go of the heavy atmosphere creating between you every time you used to fight as teenagers. 
Five years afterwards, as of now, he still thinks about it from time to time. It makes him giggle when he’s in the middle of a meeting at work, when he has a stressful day, when he’s just laying in bed with his head empty. Usually, that would be the case. Now that you’re sitting on his couch with a bag of pop corns squished in your hands while the tv is playing though, is a new circumstance. 
«What are you laughing at? You’re so loud» you wince at him, monotone and annoyed.
He licks his lips, shaking his head.
«Your vibrator still haunts me» 
It takes you less than two seconds to realise what he’s talking about. 
«You’re so annoying. Should I bring up the time you farted out loud in class too?»
«That’s not the same,» he laughs «I told you that I wasn’t feeling good but you insisted on going to class anyway»
«You didn’t go for three days straight-» you fight back, stopping yourself when the camera points on Park Seojun. 
«Gosh, this man. I’m gonna marry him someday» you sigh dreamily. Jungkook snorts.
«Cause I was sick?» he opens the fridge.
«You drank with Jin the night before. You shouldn’t drink if you’re sick. Maybe that’s why you couldn’t hold it until class was over»
«You’re so noisy» he rummages through the shelves, finally finding the bowl of strawberries he was looking for.
«Want some?»
You quickly glance at him over the counter, pop corns stuffing your mouth full.
«No, thanks. I’m full with these»
He gets a spoon from the drawer, walking back to the sofa. 
«The face you made when I walked in is still funnier than-»
«When you farted in front of the class?» you cut him off, trying to get some sense in his head.
«Hell, yeah» he laughs.
«You literally-»
«Okay, now stop!» you slap his ass before he gets a chance to sit down.
«Oh, yes keep going» he fakes a moan. You literally want to slap him hard enough to make him stop being an idiot, but you have to hold yourself back.
«Just shut up and let me see Park Seojun» you shake your head. Jungkook gets a spoonful of strawberries into his mouth, eyes falling on the screen and eyebrows pinched together.
It’s a Saturday, thanks God the both of you don’t work on weekends, so usually you both find yourself on the sofa, watching a movie or just messing around. You’ve known each other since you were sixteen, so to say that you’re pretty comfortable with each other is an understatement. Even when you first met him, the nineteen years old Jungkook never made you feel uneasy. You were inseparable. Best friends that used to sleep at each other’s place every three to four days because you were just used to it. It was natural, so natural that a lot of the people around you thought you were a couple. Back then, you would grimace and shake your head vividly, not even giving it a thought. Jungkook would laugh it off, heart beating loudly in his chest every time anyone made him imagine how it would’ve been. 
«Do you still have it?» he asks, voice low as he stares at the screen.
«What?» you murmur. He doesn’t answer, his spoon scraping against the plastic of the bowl to get as much strawberries as he can into his mouth. He munches on them, gulping down and enjoying the sweet taste.
«That vibrator» 
«Jungkook! What kind of question is that?» you stop the drama, his thigh getting hit by the remote.
«I was just asking!» he raises his hands as to make sure you understand he meant no harm, the bowl now sitting on his lap.
«Why would you ask that?» your tone makes his eyes smile first, as he always does. His eyes smile first, then his lips just follow.
«Why are you so sensitive about it? I won’t ask, but we both know you still use it» he gets up from the couch, getting to the sink to put the empty bawl inside. 
«We say filthier things when we’re in bed!» he goes on from where he’s standing at. Your head is going to explode. It’s at times like this that you rethink about your life choices. From being sixteen and dumb, until you’re twenty four and ending up with sleeping with your best friend. 
«In bed! Leave those for when we’re in bed!» you fight back, another pop corn getting shoved into your mouth.
«Okay,» he appears by your side «wanna go to bed so I can ask you?» 
You can’t believe him. 
«Jungkook!» he laughs, bright and out loud, crystal clear. It makes your insides twist and turn with the need of shutting him up.
It’s not like it’s a everyday thing, sleeping together. It just happened three times, out of the blue. You both agreed that it’s not something big, something that will change your bond or friendship, it’s just something that… you both needed? In those moments, you guess. Maybe mentally? However you try to justify it, the answer is always the same: nothing is going to change between you. It’s just sex. But for the sake of your relationship, you try to keep it where it belongs: in bed. Talking about such things outside can be confusing, it can lead your friendship too places you don’t want it to be. You love Jungkook, as your friend. Being too sexual won’t lead to good places, just a fucked up friendship and a fuckbuddy living with you.  So you both better keep your minds at bay, don’t pass the limits of friendship at least when you can.
«I’m going to get a shower» you announce, shutting the tv and getting up from the couch. His eyes are questioning, but you just tap his shoulder. 
«Put this away, please?» you hand the pop corns to Jungkook. He grabs the bag. 
«Why?» you’re already almost out of the living room when he asks.
«I’m going out tonight!» 
«With the girls?» he raises his voice a bit to make you hear him from the other room, as he looks for a peg in the drawer to close the popcorns.
«Yeah, it’s Eunji’s birthday!» you remind him. Jungkook winces, he knows what that means. You will come back home late, and you’ll end up being awake until morning cause you hate going to clubs and will feel like you have to make up for the six hours you lost in there. You still do it, for your friends, but it’s something that you don’t enjoy a lot. If you add the fact that you don’t actually drink, that makes it all even worse. 
«What about Jimin?» he’s out of your bedroom door, you can hear it from how close his voice sounds. Thank god he has a good sense of privacy, cause you’re naked. 
«They were together the whole day, tonight is girl’s night» you answer. Jungkook nods, telling himself he’s going to ask him to come over later.
«I’m taking a shower now!» you let him know the conversation is going to end, already walking to your bathroom.
Tumblr media
«She said it’s girls’ night, so» Jimin’s munching on a chicken’s wing with so much eagerness it looks like he hasn’t been eating for a week. 
Namjoon nods at him, getting a beer from the fridge. 
«You’ve been together the whole day, though» 
«I know» he answers, «what can I do if I want to spend every second with her?»
«I feel like I’m gonna throw up» Yoongi murmurs from beside him, giving him the most disgusted glance ever. Jungkook laughs.
«What have you all been up to lately?» 
Hoseok sits on the carpet, ready to start eating as he waits for the group’s answer. 
Jin shrugs.
«Just work. The restaurant is always full, I think I might die from overworking»
«Listen to him bragging» Taehyung pats his hyung’s shoulder.
«I’m not! It’s going well, but it’s fucking tiring! Last night I came home to Hana and…  nnghh, why am I so dumb?» he closes his eyes, breathing through his teeth. 
«What happened?» Jungkook asks.
«She’d kill me if she knew I told you this,» he gulps a big sip of beer down «you have to promise me it won’t slip out of your dead-ass mouths»
«When did we ever say-»
«That time?» Yoongi’s question gets cut off, Jin’s eyes big as they remind him of what happened last time.
«It wasn’t me! It was Tae!» 
«Yah, I didn’t do it on purpose» he fights, holding back a laughter.
«Alright, stop. Just don’t make it happen again» Seokjin gives him a fiery glance.
«She was like, really in the mood and… I told her I would take a shower and then go to bed with her but my muscles were so sore I decided to run a bath. I felt asleep. She waited up for me for a whole hour,» he takes a bite from the chicken «she was… god, what did I do? I was so tired I didn’t do it on purpose but she felt rejected or humiliated I guess… I’m such a-»
«Hyung, you were just tired» Jungkook stops his rant. Namjoon nods.
«You should talk to her»
«I didn’t get the chance, she left earlier this morning and didn’t answer my texts all day» he answers, eyes gloomy as he pours himself another glass of beer. 
«Wait for her up, she’ll come back after they are done with the club» Yoongi proposes. Jin nods.
«What about you?» he asks.
«I’m good» he smiles. A little too much, actually. It’s too bright, too much. 
«You’re good?» Hoseok smiles at him, already knowing that there’s something else. There has to be, with him smiling like that.
«Really good» he echoes. 
At this point, Jin hits his shoulder.
«Yah, give us the good stuff!» 
The music in the background fills the air as Yoongi ponders on how to explain what’s happening in his life at the moment, a big smile taking over his features. 
«I’m…» he smiles again «I’m going to be a dad» 
«What?!» it’s a scream that comes out loud, the same word coming from every single person present. The man nods, eyes teary. It makes Jungkook’s heart squeeze, to see his hyung so happy. The room is filled with happiness, as they all proceed to ask questions, hugs and congratulations getting shared. After all, he and Hyunjoo have been trying for the last year. The night is filled just like that, with jokes and laughs until Jin and Jimin decide that it’s time to go back home to wait for their girlfriends, the others deciding to stay until you will be back to say hello and goodbye to Jungkook. 
It’s when the bell rings that they know that something is definitely weird. The knock on the door too sounds eager for you, and when Jungkook gets up to open it what they hear right after makes their eyes shoot right open.
«Fuck, are you drunk? Who took you home? Why did you drink?»
«Leave me alone» you stutter as you try to walk inside, Jungkook’s arm getting to your waist. You can’t even stand, how much did you drink? 
«Who took you home?» to say he sounds worried sick is an understatement.
«Some guy with a really pretty dick» you laugh. Taehyung gets up, everyone following after him. They never saw you drunk, simply because you just don’t drink. You don’t like the taste of alcohol, can’t even gulp down a sip of beer properly without having to go brush your teeth, apart from the fact that you can’t hold it. Half of a glass is enough to make you the drunkest version of yourself; apparently now it’s not like that anymore.
«What?» the shock from seeing you like this makes Jungkook hold his words back, first he needs to make you sit somewhere.
«Grab a wet towel, or just… water, give me water!» he orders around. Someone gives him just what he asked for, and he doesnt even spend time in thanking them as he wipes the makeup off from your face. 
«Water» Yoongi gives him a glass.
«Why- you’re here! Hello!» you wave to your friends, Taehyung smiling at you. 
«My bestest friend! Tae, I missed you» you whine, grabby hands reach for his wrist, making him sit next to you.
«Yah! I’m your bestest friend!» Jungkook shakes his head.
«I missed you too» Taehyung scoffs, your head falling on his shoulder. Jungkook hisses, it’s harder to get your makeup off when half of your face is squashed like this.
«Why did you drink so much?» Taehyung tries.
«I was… feeling left out? I can’t remeber well» you murmur, chuckles coming out as you decide it’s time to mess with Jungkook. Every time he tries to wipe a part of your face, you just turn in the opposite direction.
«Will you stay still?» he shakes his head, annoyed.
«You’re a pain in the ass, Jungkook. I hate you»
«I think it’s better if you go home, she needs a shower» Jungkook turns to face Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok. They look pretty shocked, but worry is weighting down on them more.
«Are you sure? We can help you?» Hoseok tries, but he shakes his head again.
«It’s fine, I got this» 
«Don’t go! Why are you kicking them out! So annoying» you fight, holding Taehyung’s arm tighter.
«I’m not kicking them out, but you need to shower and get changed and they- just…» he turns again «Don’t worry, just go home and rest. I got this» he repeats.
Tumblr media
It’s 5.43 am. And it’s so frustrating that you’re laying by his side, sleeping, while his eyes are wide open. 
You might not feel good, so it’s better anyway, he tells himself.
Jungkook is annoyed. A lot, actually. Why, he doesn’t get it. Your words echo in his mind, making him bite on the inside of his cheek when he should be resting.
Did you sleep with someone? It very much sounded like it. A really pretty dick? He scoffs. The adjective sounds almost out of place, still he feels his insides burning even hotter. He wants to ask you right now, but you’re sleeping. Again, he should be too, actually. 
He decides it’s better if he sleeps on the sofa, you’re asleep anyway, so you won’t make a fuss about it. He lifts the covers, gently and slowly, then sits on the bed, a leg already out and his foot laying on the ground. The cold makes him wince.
«Don’t go» you hold his wrist, digits caressing his skin. 
«Stay with me,» you plead «I’m not feeling good» 
His defences fall down instantly. It’s hard not to succumb when you’re murmuring against him. He does it without you having to ask twice, his foot back under the warm covers.
«Hold me?» you ask. It’s low, sweet and sleepy, and he guesses you’re still drunk but he doesn’t care. His arms wrap around you and hold you close, your head lays on his chest as you would do after having sex. Jungkook holds his breath and swears to himself, he needs to slow down his heartbeat because it seems like his heart is going to combust. 
«I don’t hate you,» your voice is faint
«I’m sorry I told you I hate you, Kookie»
«It’s okay» he caresses your hair, trying to make you relax.
«Just get some sleep» he can’t hold himself back, not when you’re laying in his arms so defenceless and looking so frail and delicate. His lips land on your forehead, soft and gentle, incredibly caring. You don’t say anything though, you’re already asleep.
Tumblr media
«Alright, what is it?» Taehyung snaps at him, eyes fixed on the maknae. Jin nods, eyebrows high.
«Nothing» Jungkook shrugs, going back to stare at the screen. The movie isn’t playing, stopped by Taehyung. 
«It doesn’t seem like nothing» he answers back. 
Yoongi taps Jungkook’s shoulder.
«Tell it to Yoongi hyung?» he smiles. 
Jungkook scoffs. It’s something he used to tell him when he was younger, it would reassure him to know that there was someone older than him to relay on and to count on. Now, though, Yoongi can’t do anything about it.
«I’m your hyung too» Taehyung pats his other shoulder.
«Me too» Jimin adds.
«We’re all older, we got it» Namjoon looks at the two who are smiling wide at Jungkook.
«Talk to us? We could help» he prompts. 
«I just… I don’t know» he doesn’t know where to start from. He doesn’t even know why he’s feeling so bothered about it, it shouldn’t be such a big deal.
«I don’t know… why?»
«What? We can’t understand like this» the confusion is clear on Hoseok’s features.
Jungkook sighs, deep and shaky, head falling on the cushion of the couch.
«I’ve been sleeping with someone» he declares, bringing the back of his hand on his eyes. 
«What?» it’s Jimin and Jin, ready to ask why he didn’t tell them. Yoongi glares at them in a second, shutting them up before they even have the chance to start.
«And?» he coos.
«And- she… slept with someone else» he adds. It’s blurry, and the situation is not clear, but just seeing Jungkook like this makes all of them on the edge.
«Are you in a relationship? Or you just-»
«We’re not» he answers Namjoon.
«We’re not, but…» he doesn’t finish. 
He can’t believe himself. What the hell is this about? It’s not like you agreed on being exclusive, you didn’t even talk too much about what happened, it just happened, three fucking times. And god, how fucking good it was. The best sex he’s ever had. Fuck, he didn’t even think about someone else after sleeping with you. 
Maybe it wasn’t the smartest of choices since he’s been fighting against his feelings for six years, but until now they were pretty good. He dated, you dated, he kept them at bay and they didn’t get in the way. 
«You wish you were» Yoongi finishes his sentence.
Silence fills the air. Jungkook feels like he’s going to throw up. You wish you were, it’s the only thing playing in his head. He wishes you were. That’s the point, that’s the fucking point. He wishes you’d see in him what he’s been seeing in you for all these years, he wishes you’d crave his touch just like he craves yours, in the same way. He wishes you could share more than just a home and bills, friendship and bags of popcorns. He wishes for more, and fuck, he’s been so fucking stupid all along to think that a little taste couldn’t do too bad, to think that he could have at least that much.
«Have you talked to her?» Jin tries. Jungkook shakes his head, the back of his hand still pressed against his eyes.
«Why don’t you try?»
«Why would I? We’re friends»
«Fuckbuddies?» Jimin asks «How can you be-» Taehyung slaps him on the neck. A faint moan coming out of his friend’s lips.
«Shut up»
«No, friends. We’re friends» he slightly raises his voice on the last word, to make it clear. 
Yoongi’s eyes narrow.
«You mean you… you’ve been sleeping together but you’re friends?» 
«Isn’t it clear?» Jin looks at him like Yoongi has two heads, eyes trying to suggest something that no one gets. His head moves as to beckon him to something that’s right in front of him, Yoongi’s expression still clueless. Then, he gets it.
«Y/n! Is it Y/n? What the hell Jungkook!» he breaks out. Everyone’s eyes shot right open, Jungkook’s hand falling on his lap as he realises that there’s no way back. 
«When? Why?»
«It just… happened» he sighs, eyes closing again. 
«When?» Taehyung can’t believe what he’s hearing. 
«Four months ago,» he murmurs «the first time»
«How many times? Oh, my god» Jin wants to know everything, every little detail. Not sexually, it would be awkward since you’re his friend, but every thing he can, he has to know.
«Three» 
«Three?» He repeats.
«Three times,» Jungkook says again «I don’t know what to-»
«Is it because of the guy with the pretty dick?» Yoongi asks. Jungkook tilts his head, glaring at his hyung. 
«Okay, it is»
«Talk to her» Hoseok prompts but he only gets a big, steady shake of the maknae’s head.
«She was drunk. Do you know what you’re doing? Like, have you talked about it at least? Are you exclusive with each other?»
«We didn’t, and I guess we’re not» Jungkook answers Jin, not really in the mood for all of his questions.
«Jungkook, you have to-»
His phone rings, cutting Hoseok off. Your name comes up on the screen, everyone’s eyes and ears ready to steal information, Jungkook’s thumb stopping before hitting the green icon. He takes a deep breath, then answers. 
«What-»
«Jungkook, please help me» 
Something inside him snaps, worry filling every part of his being. Your voice is shaky, fragile. It sounds like you’re crying.
«What, what happened? Where are you?»
«At home,» you whimper «I’m in the tub. I slipped and, I can’t move. It hurts» 
«Fuck, wait I’ll be there in five minutes. Stay on the phone, don’t move. Please, don’t move, okay?» he’s already on the way to the door of Taehyung’s house, their eyes fixed on him in worry. He waves goodbye before closing the door, mouthing “emergency” at their inspecting eyes.
Tumblr media
«Fuck, are you okay?» 
To say he’s worried sick is an understatement. His eyes travel to every part of your body to make sure that you’re not hurt, until they reach your arms covering your chest. 
«Don’t look! Give me the bathrobe» you want to cry, you feel so embarrassed that you actually could. 
«Yes!» he passes it to you quickly, helping you as best as he can with his face turned to the side. He wants to tell you that it doesn’t matter if he sees you like this cause it already happened but he guesses you might feel embarrassed or just not at ease, so he shuts up and does what he has to. 
«It’s fine, I…» your voice trembles. You hold his wrist on the side of the tub, fingers cold and wet. 
«It’s fine, it’s alright. Ssshh, don’t cry» he kneels down, his arms wrapping around you and leading your head to his chest. 
«I’m not crying» you whisper, gulping down.
«You’re about to,» he caresses your hair «I’m here. I got you» he feels his throat tightening. He was so fucking worried he run two red lights while coming home, all the ones he met. 
«I always got you» he coos. 
For some reason, his words make you shake in his hold, a faint whimper coming out as you let the tears fall. The embarrassment and the stress about the situation, the pain of your ankle and his presence seem to mix together to combine into a perfect crying solution.
«You won’t tease me about this, right?» you mumble, voice muffled. Jungkook’s heart feels slightly reassured at your words, a weak smile gracing his lips.
«I won’t, baby. I promise» he whispers.
Your faint sobs fill the air, and he feels like his poor heart will break only by listening. His fingertips dig into your bathrobe so much it’s like you feel them on your skin, his other hand caresses your hair, his breath shaky. 
He waits for your weeps to summer down and stays like this a little longer, his presence reassuring and his touch relaxing you.
«Let’s get you out of here, okay?» he asks. You nod. He’s gentle when he parts his arms from around you, gentle when he tells you to relax, gentle when he smiles at you, soothing. 
«Where does it hurt?» 
«My ankle» you let him know. His eyes travel down, hands getting wet in the water as he lightly feels both of them. 
«There» you hold back your breath, the pain makes you grimace.
«Okay, just… can you get up? Just lean on me and don’t put weight on your right leg. Lean on me» he instructs. You follow his words and try to get up as best as you can, leaning your weight on him and keeping your ankle up. Jungkook helps you out of the bathtub, his hands coming to your back and the back of your legs to pick you up. He makes sure not to hurt your ankle with any movement, eyes on your face to check in with you without having to ask.
The path to your bedroom is silent, he lays you on your bed and tells you he will change the sheets himself afterwards because of the wet bathrobe. 
«I think you need a pillow, you need to keep your ankle up» he works diligently, worry guiding him until he realises you’re set. On the bed, with the pillow underneath your ankle, comfortable, kind of.
«Do you want ice? Wait, I’ll get it with something to drink» he lets you know. He vanishes out of your bedroom and into the kitchen to get a glass of water and the ice, then goes back to the bathroom to get a towel to wrap around it so it isn’t too cold.
When he comes back, he smiles at you.
«You need to drink at least a bit» he hands you the glass. He sits next to you, looks as you gulp down the entire glass with a proud smile, his hand reaching out to take the glass back and put it on your nightstand. You stay with your mouth closed, still too embarrassed to say anything.
He puts the ice on your ankle, careful not to hurt you more than what you’re hurting already. It’s an instinct he doesn’t think of or can fight back, when he strokes your hair tenderly. It makes you gulp, heart swelling in your chest. 
«I was so fucking scared» he admits, low and shaky, almost a whisper.
«I’m sorry» you really are. He was enjoying his night with your friends after a hard week of work, and you called him and made him come all the way home, worried and-
«It’s okay, don’t worry» he smiles.
«But we should go to the hospital, your ankle is a bit swollen and-»
«Not now, please» you refuse.
«Y/n, you really should»
«I know,» you nod «just please not now? In a bit» 
Jungkook sighs, but he nods. He keeps the ice on your ankle, eyes on your face to check if he’s hurting you in any way to the point you feel your ears burn. 
«Come here?» you ask, patting beside you. He raises his eyebrows, looking at your hand on the mattress. 
«Please?» you ask sweetly. 
«The ice» he says. You shake your head.
«Just for a little, please» you gulp your beating heart down. You want him close, closer and closer. You don’t know why, but you want him so close it’s getting hard to breathe.
Jungkook can’t say no to you, not when you’re in your most fragile state, telling him to lay beside you. He puts the ice on the nightstand, next to the empty glass. 
When he lays on his side, his eyes instantly fall on your face, a bit of worry still painting his features.
Your hands move on their own, reaching his and bringing them around you. 
The atmosphere is dreamy like, a pinkish feeling invading Jungkook’s chest as he stares at you, his arms squeezing you and your eyes getting lost in his. It’s odd, how you can feel you heart pulsate, the sound echoes in your ears until they become numb. His hold seems to calm your racing mind a bit and you find yourself craving for something you can’t really touch, get a grasp of.
«Jungkook» you call. 
«Mmh?» 
«I want you» 
Jungkook feels like a leaf about to fall. Swept away by the wind, scared to fall but what if the fall is so sweet, so gentle? What if he can’t say no? He wants you just as bad as he wants you to want him. He wants you sweetly, he wants you lovingly. He wants you. Every part, every shiver, every fear and every night. Every fucking night. If he can’t have that, he’ll have to settle for this at least. He can’t say no to your love. And now that he realises, he thinks, this is the last time. The first time loving you and the last. 
«Fuck, come» he holds you tighter.
«Come into my arms» as if you weren’t already. He stays like that, seconds passing by and his breath getting rougher, he tries to  slow down his heartbeat but it’s to no use, you probably can feel it even through your bathrobe and his clothes. He wonders what are you thinking, if you want him as bad as he wants you at least sexually. It makes him breathless, how much he wishes you were his.
«I need-» he gulps «I need you close»
His body moves on top of yours, his legs in the middle of your thighs, eyes glancing at your ankle to make sure he doesn’t hurt you with his movements. It kills you, how he takes his shirt off and the light of your room kisses every single inch of his abdomen. His beautiful skin, the muscles flexing as he removes the cloth, his brownish nipples hard at the cold hair. You want to lick it, every part of him. You want to touch it, chase every ripple with your fingertips. 
«Can I take this off?» he asks. 
When you meet his gaze his eyes are made of something you’ve never seen. It’s not want or need, you’ve seen those already the other times you had sex, it’s just something else that you can’t quite grasp; you don’t focus on it too much, nodding your head and reaching you hands for the knot of the bathrobe. 
«Wait, let me» his fingers graze yours. You stop your ministrations, watching as he unties the knot, slow. There’s something. There’s definitely something. When he took your clothes off the last time, there was eagerness in his motions. There was need.
He was scared, of course he was. You guess that now he’s just glad you’re okay and trying to not hurt you in any way. You’re glad. Glad that he takes such good care of you, glad to have him as your friend. 
«Thank you» you smile. Jungkook feels his heart clench. He wishes your relationship wouldn’t be like this, for you not to thank him with that smile so uninvolved, so clear. 
He nods, hands getting by your sides to not put any weight on you.
«Keep your ankle up, please. Don’t wanna hurt you» he says. You nod, again.
His bicep flexes as he puts his weight only on his left arm, his fingers of the other caressing your clavicle. He sees the shivers on your skin as he travels lower, grabbing the edge of the bathrobe to reveal your chest. He wants to squeeze you, squeeze you so tight you don’t have any space left between you, hearts beating against each other. 
Your skin glistens, and he can’t hold himself back anymore. He raises on his calves, opens your robe so that every part of you is revealed, takes off his pants and his socks. His cock is hard, so fucking hard he’s afraid he’ll come just by the sight of you, but he wants to hold back. He has to, cause he wants to do this right, in the right way. He wants to love you even if you don’t notice it, at least for once. 
«Sit up for me, princess» his tone is like honey, and you do as he says without complaining. The pet name leaves a weird taste in your ears, you’re not used to it.
He helps you out of the bathrobe, finally having you naked on the bed. So pretty, so exposed just for him. Something inside him doesn’t set right, though. 
«Hold tight onto me» 
You’re in his arms, getting up from the bed and out of your bedroom. You wander what the hell is he doing until you get to his bedroom, confusion invading your features.
«Why?» 
He lays you on his bed, getting a pillow again so that you can keep your ankle elevated.
He looks down at you from the end of the bad, cock twitching and eyes fixed into yours. He wonders if it was too much of a bold move, but he guesses you wouldn’t see anything behind it. 
«Want you in my bed» he simply answers, transparent and straight to the point, his dark doe eyes drinking yours in. 
You just nod a little astonished. 
Of all the times you had sex, it was always in your bed. Never in his. Never your perfume stayed on his sheets, never he got to swim in the illusion of having at least a little more to keep to himself, just for him. A part of you to keep, to protect in a world that isn’t yours. 
He takes his boxers off, and god you wish he could be faster cause you think your eagerness will make you lose your mind. You want him deep inside you, close as soon as possible.
«Open your legs for me?» he coos. He looks at you from the edge of the bed, still standing. Your eyes travel all the way from his face to his cock, it stands straight up to his belly button, the tip red and angry, veins displayed. If you’re not seeing wrong, there’s a bit of precum leaking out from his tip, but maybe it’s just the light playing with your eyesight. 
You do as he says, opening your legs as much as you can for him to see, careful with your ankle. He bites down on his lips, his hand getting to the base of his cock and wrapping around it, just squeezing it.
«I love your pussy» he breathes out. The way he sounds makes you clench around nothing and when you see his hand stroke up and down his needy cock your mouth opens in awe. 
«I’m obsessed, want it every day» 
You squeeze your thighs together, how can he speak so filthy but sound so angelic?
«That can’t happen» you warn him. 
Jungkook nods.
«I know» he answers. It kills him. It fucking kills him, to have a taste and then having to let go of it. 
He gets to the bed, kneeling in front of you, his eyes on your face. 
«I want you on my tongue» 
Your yearning is making you crazy, you’re so wet you’re practically dripping by now.
«Please, Jungkook» 
It sounds so good, to hear you say his name like that. In such a filthy way, totally unfiltered. 
«Gonna give my baby what she needs»
His hands touch your thighs, he gropes your skin with his digits, so soft it makes him want to fucking lose himself and get lost just in the desire. His sentence makes you wetter, but your heart beats louder for some type of reason. 
«Please» you plead again. 
«I got you» he reassure you, he lays down on your body, face close to yours. His lips are close, so close you think he’s going to kiss you but he just lays a kiss on the corner of your mouth. 
«I always got you» he whispers, his eyes looking into yours. His hand caresses your cheek, something that adds too much to this, to you, to the both of you. It leaves you wordless, shaking.
A second later, he’s back between your legs,  his hands grabbing your thighs in the gentlest way he ever did. 
«So beautiful» he murmurs to himself as he looks at your pussy juices leaking out. It’s so fucking inviting that he can’t hold back anymore. His mouth lands on your clit, so soft and pillowy, he kisses it. A strangled moan comes out of your mouth, and he lays another, and another. His tongue starts to glide between your lips, up and down he gathers your juices and then sucks onto your clit, your back arching on the bed.
«Oh, fuck» you moan. It makes him eager. Eager for more, eager for you, ciclo by fervent. He wants it all.
He sucks on your clit again, harder and for a time that seems endless, the pleasure that takes over you is tingling and consuming and your mouth opens again in a silent moan. He lets it go with a popping sound, he blows on it, kisses it again, sucks again as his tongue plays with it. Your hands reach his hair, they tug at the strands as you moan out loud. It’s so good, so good you’re not going to last long.
«So good» your hips shoot up, whines come out of your mouth.
He feels drunk, lost in the taste of you.
«Yeah?» he coos. His tongue rubs your clit deliciously, the pattern changing from up and down to side to side and circles, it makes you lose your mind. 
«What if I do this? Take all of you in my mouth?» 
It’s unreal, how good he can make you feel. He takes you all in his mouth, from your clit to your hole, sucking on every part he manages to get, then sucks on your lips. His hands move on your stomach, eyes on your face as he grabs your breasts in his palms. He squeezes them softly, fingers rubbing your nipples, filthy wet sounds filling the air. It’s embarrassing, the amount of wetness through your folds, how your juices keep leaking out at just a look at him. You don’t think you can hold back. Not when he’s sucking on your clit again, his fingers grazing your nipples as he moans on it in his mouth. He doesn’t think he can get any other pussy, after yours. It’s too good, it’s perfect. Just perfect.
«Gonna- Jungkook» you shiver.
«Tell me, talk to me, baby» he moans on your pussy, his tongue poking at your hole. 
«Fuck, I think I’m going to- cum» 
His tongue feels so good inside you, your walls tight around it and your juices wetting all of his chin. He wants your wetness everywhere, on his chest, on his thighs, on his fucking bed. 
«Please, let me see» he begs. 
«Cum for me» 
One of his hands come down, his fingers rubbing your clit. You don’t have the time nor the voice to tell him that you’re going to, cause god, it feels so fucking good you don’t even know how to speak anymore. You just see him, his eyes staring at you from between your legs, nose brushing against your folds, his tongue deep inside you. Your legs shake, your breathing is rough.
«Cum for me, angel» 
And you do. You cum so fucking hard, you don’t even realise what is happening, how your juices flow out and drip onto his sheets,  how Jungkook presses down onto the mattress to get some sort of friction, how he gulps down your juices as if they were the tastiest thing he ever drank. 
He kisses your clit, your lips, every part of your pussy he can get a taste of, your inner thighs.
«Fuck, I only want your pussy» he moans, the fingers that left your aching clit now wrapping around his thickness, your juices on his cock make his skin glossy. You’re such in a haze that yes, you nod.
«Fuck, yes» you sigh. Jungkook can’t take his eyes off of you, he simply can’t. You’re so beautiful, so pretty when you’re so vulnerable and exposed for him that you make him helpless, totally fragile.
«You’re so beautiful, so pretty when you cum» his voice makes you open your eyes, finding him still between your legs. 
«Come here» you struggle to let your voice out. 
«Want you close» 
His heart shakes. 
«Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you» he breathes out, laying on top of you. His voice is shaky and you feel his hands travel from your thighs to your stomach, then to your chest. They reach your shoulders, one of them cups your cheek, his eyes study every part of your face. He looks at the flush of your cheeks, how they turned to a reddish tone, your lips swollen from your teeth biting at them, your hair messy all over his pillows. In his bed, his at least for now.
«I want you, only want you» you whine. 
«You have me» he wishes you could notice, that you’d realise, look at him and mean your words just how he means them. He just rubs his cock against your folds, though.
«Right here» he moans. Cock rock hard, so fucking ready for you. 
«Please» you just keep pleading, you can’t hold back. You don’t even care if you just came and your pussy needs time to recover from the tremendous orgasm you just had, you just want him inside you. 
His cockhead brushes against your clit, a strangled moan coming out from both of your throats, your eyes focusing on his just to see that’s they were already there. Jungkook smiles at you so softly as his cockhead finds your hole and pushes in that it feels too much. Too much affection, to much loving. Too lovingly. It makes your insides twist and turn, and you wonder what the fuck is going on, but you don’t have time to voice your feelings cause a second later his cock is deep inside you, filling you up to the brim.
You just shut your mouth, take everything he has to give. You want it all, you don’t care.
«Fucking perfect» he whines. His cock never felt so good, your walls squeeze him perfectly, your pussy so wet he can feel your juices already pour down to his balls.
«Wrap around me,» he moans faintly «please»
Your legs move on their own, the pain of your ankle shooting up to your leg. You grimace, eyes squeezed shut.
«Careful with your leg» the worry makes him still.
«Lay it on the pillow, up» he whispers, his hand reaching your calf to guide it back down. 
«Like this» he kisses your temple. You sigh when you feel the softness of the pillow and your weight supported, the pain untying a bit.
«Does it hurt?» his words soothe you and you open your eyes to look at his face. You shake your head.
«It was just for the movement. It’s going away now» you answer. Jungkook nods, his fingers brush away a little strand of hair that’s keeping your beautiful face away from him.
«Like this it’s good, is it okay for you?» he asks. His hand holds your hip, your leg wrapped around him, the other on the cushion and Jungkook’s cock buried deep inside you still. You can feel it throb even when it’s still, you wonder how is it possible that he’s holding himself back so much.
«It’s perfect» you whisper. His eyes, smile first, as they always do. His smile comes right after, and you don’t know if it’s the atmosphere or your vulnerability for everything that happened but it makes your heart swell. You want him around you, you want him everywhere, all over you, inside of you.
He looks down at you, moves his pelvis back and then forward again, you wrap your leg tighter around his waist. Your arms come around him, his passes under your back as the other stays on your hip, his cock rutting inside you makes you whimper. He kisses your neck, sucks on your skin, moans in your ears. 
«Love it so much,» he shivers, eyes closing from the pleasure «getting to have you like this» 
«Feels so good, Kook» you whine.
Jungkook fucks into you slow, but his motions are firm and he knows exactly where your buttons are. Apparently, it didn’t take much for him to learn, it seems like he knew them all along, from the first time. 
«Yeah?» he coos, his digits dig into your skin.
«Yes» you moan out loud, only guiding him closer. His cock is perfect. You love it, could never imagine a better dick. 
«Tell me, baby. Wanna hear you» he doesn’t stop, only squeezes you tighter. Your breasts against his hard chest, your nipples brushing against his skin, every curve of your body against his.
«Your cock is so perfect» you tell him. He wants to look down to where he’s inside of you but doesn’t want to miss a single thing, not even a crumb of the pleasure taking up your features.
«I love it so much, the best cock ever» your voice is muffled and your fist comes out from behind his neck to press against your lips as you speak. 
«Please don’t» he whines, looking down at you. 
«Wanna hear you, don’t hold back» 
Your fist goes away. Your fingers dig into his skin again, surrendering to his request and letting your voice come out free. 
Jungkook makes love to you. It’s so sweet and so slow but so good that you’re lost. Lost in him, lost in the feeling and the pleasure. 
«Keep your leg up» he instructs, letting your hip out of his grasp. He kisses your nose, his hand travels between your legs, his middle finger on your clit. 
«Oh, Jungkook, fuck» you wail, the pleasure adding up. He moves his finger in circles, up and down, from side to side, just like he did with his tongue before. It makes him jerk inside you, throb with every thrust, bite down on his lips as he looks at your face and feel your walls clench around him. Your mouth opens, eyes looking at him through your lashes, pillowy lips ready to be kissed. 
«I want to make you feel so good,» he groans, «want you to think about this when you’re alone» he moans. 
«I want you to give it to me, all to me. Mine» he whispers onto your lips, breath hot on your face.
«All mine» 
«Fuck, yes»
Your walls are so tight, pulsating so hard. 
His finger keeps rubbing your clit, he moans when he brings it a bit lower, feeling his cock pounding inside your pussy, your pussylips spread around him, your wetness gathering at the base of his cock. His balls slap on your ass, the sounds filthy and wet, so incredibly wet.
«I’m going to- yes, feels so good» you breathe hard, his finger back on your clit rubbing faster. Your legs shake and you feel his cock dripping precum in your cunt, all of his length pulsating. 
«I want you to look at me when you cum,» he pleads, tone shaky «please look at me» he whines. If you weren’t on the edge already, you think you would probably be just by the way he sounds. He’s so sexy you think you won’t ever be able to get over this. You’re going to think about this for sure, hell if you’re going to.
«Kook, I- I…»
«Ssh, let go. Just let go and look at me» he coos sweetly. He’s holding back, he’s trying so fucking much to hold back that his cock is over sensitive and he doesn’t think he will last much longer. Your walls squeeze him perfectly, so fucking soft and warm around him, so wet, so beautiful. 
«Give it to me, love» he doesn’t notice, not until he says it. It just slips out, naturally. You don’t say anything, head burying deeper in his pillow and your walls tightening around him.
You come all over his cock. Your juices make it harder for him to control his pace as you contract sp tightly all over him, his cock still moving inside of you, your arms wrapped around him. You’re trembling but you still find the strength to cup his cheeks, eyes looking at him for all the time just like he asked you to. You watch him as he moans, fucking into you with the same pace, his cock so hard. One of your hands travel down, between your bodies and down to his cock, his tight balls in your hand. You cup them, massage them a little. Jungkook’s features grimace, a loud whiny moan filling the air as your fingers on his cheek caress his skin.
«So beautiful. Cum for me, please» you plead. His heart beats so loud it’s going to explode, and a second later he’s shooting his cum right deep inside of you, hot, thick and long spurts of cum filling you up to the brim. His lips touch yours, as he keeps cuming. They brush against each other and a second later he’s succumbing to them, moaning into your mouth as his hips fuck his cum into your pussy, your leg still keeping him close and you fingers on his cheek. 
The kiss is slow and not really controlled, his tongue touches yours and brushes it, your lips eager for each other but moving slowly. It kills him, the way you wrap your arm around him to bring him closer as if he wasn’t all shattered into pieces already. 
You kiss for long, he still fucks himself into you slowly even after coming down from his high, your body still tight to him. When you part, you feel your chest on fire. His eyes look glossy, his lips red and wet, his baby hair sticking to his forehead. His movements stop, the last trace of a kiss on your clavicle right where it all started, and then he comes out of you. He lays beside you, eyes staring at your face. Silence fills the air, your breaths the only thing audible.
«Kook» you call.
«Yes?» he hums.
«I need another shower» you laugh.
Tumblr media
The atmosphere is odd. It’s thick. You want to go out of your bedroom and ask him what is going on exactly but for some type of reason, you’re holding back. There’s just something in the air.
Last week has been weird. 
You would come home when Jungkook was already there to find the dinner on the table, covered with a plate so it wouldn’t get cold, some days with a post it. 
I already ate, I’m going to bed, I’m a little tired.
I’m going out, but I cooked you dinner. Rest well.
Work was hard today, I’m going to sleep.
Since the two years you’ve been living together, you’ve always made sure that the one coming home later had something to eat, without having to cook when you’re both too tired. You do it for him too, when he comes home late. That’s what you did on Thursday and Friday, but when he came home you weren’t expecting him to literally eat and go to bed after putting his dish in the sink. 
The dinner was odd too, he made small talk, but there was something that didn’t feel right, as if it was a bit awkward. When you both stayed home on the weekend your friends filled the place on Saturday, and on Sunday, he just spent the day in his bedroom beside coming out to make lunch and dinner together.
You knocked on his door once or twice, asked him if he wanted to watch a movie or just chill together, but he said he was tired.
Something is off. Maybe he’s really tired, at dinner today he mentioned that work has been hard lately. 
Tumblr media
You start to wonder if you should be worried. If Jungkook is stressed and needs someone to talk too, if you’re being just a shitty friend and shouldn’t give him all this space, if you should grab him by the shoulders and tell him to talk to you about what is going on. He doesn’t seem to have closed up with your friends though, on five days he spent three evenings at their place this week. Maybe it’s just you seeing things.
You should talk to him, cause you’re worried, and you miss him. You miss your friend.
Tumblr media
«Jimin’s on his way too» Eunji announces, grabbing a pile of glasses. She places one for each of you on the table, then takes a look around.
«I think everything’s set?»
You nod, Hana and Jin appearing by your side with the side dishes. 
«Let’s put them on the table» Jin grabs six of them all together.
«Yah, don’t order us around. This is my house, not your restaurant» Yoongi slaps his hyung on the ass, his friend glaring at him. Hyunjoo shakes his head at the scene in front of her, her belly has just started to grow, three months into pregnancy. She looks so beautiful and happy that your heart throbs in happiness.
«Where are Namjoon and Jungkook?» she asks. 
«Namjoon will be here in ten» Hoseok answers.
«I’ll call Jungkook» you announce.
You’re about to go to get your purse, but the door rings, so you wander towards it. Jungkook stands behind it, soft hair reaching almost his shoulders, his bangs framing his pretty face. His eyes stare directly into yours, eyebrows cocked. 
«Oh, you’re here?» he asks, as if he wasn’t expecting it. He stays still on the doorway, hands by his sides. 
«Yes?» you smile as best as you can, not really knowing what to do.
«Everyone is here» you remind him. Jungkook nods eagerly.
«I know» he nods again. You move to the side to let him in. 
«I was about to call you» you say. He takes his coat off, hanging it with the others.
«I was stuck in traffic,» he shrugs «I thought it was the same for you, since you worked late too today» 
«Oh, no. I left earlier» he nods. And then, it’s silent again. You just stare at each other.
He doesn’t know. How to do this properly, how to go back to who he was, the friend you had before he realised it was too much to hold back. Every time he looks at you, it’s too much. He feels like you’re taking all the oxygen, leaving him with the smallest amount and not able to breathe properly. He tried. He really tried. He told himself that yes, it can be fixed. He repeats it to himself everyday, but something just makes him stop. He’s too… he guesses he just needs space. To get over you, to learn how to look at you differently, just like before he knew, when he was younger. Maybe he won’t ever be able to go back at that point, but at least to when it was bearable to look at you from afar and just have a small part of you? 
«Jungkookah!» Teahyung yells from the kitchen. Yoongi peeks out from the living room, he smiles brightly at his youngest friend, his arm wrapping around his shoulders. 
«Leave him alone, he just got here» he yells back at Taehyung. In a bunch of minutes, everyone is gathered in the living room, sitting on the carpet and ready to have dinner. It’s been a while since you all gathered to have dinner together, and the atmosphere is light. Everyone is laughing at something, new jokes being made and happiness shared. It makes you appreciate what you have, how every single person in this room means something to you, something beautiful. You’re lucky, very so.
But as you go on, you can’t help but go back to your old habits. Searching for Jungkook’s smile in the midst of the laughters, look for his eyes when you start to talk about something that happened to you during the day. You find him nodding at someone, eyes going back to his dish when you speak. And you can’t help but feel in the wrong. He’s mad at you, maybe you did something to make him upset, something that apparently is very much important to him. This has to be the reason why.
You realise how much you value him. His thoughts, his words, the way he makes you feel like there’s someone you can lean on, someone who’s got you. You realise how easy it is to enjoy his company, to feel happy thanks to him, to feel loved. And how cold it is without him, lost. 
You’ve always been inseparable, since you were sixteen and he was nineteen. Your pieces fixed together so perfectly that you didn’t have to worry about fighting with each other, cause you both knew that nothing was going to change between you. You went through so many things together that you can’t even remember all of them clearly now. He’s your safe place. And even though you know that this is perfectly fixable and actually nothing too dramatic, you just feel lost without his complicity. 
«Y/n?» Hyunjoo shakes his hand in front of your face, her striking smile brings you out of your thoughts. You nod.
«Oh, yes I’m listening»
Tumblr media
«You don’t know what you’re doing» Namjoon’s hand falls on Jungkook’s thigh, lightly slapping it. He shrinks on his side of the sofa, eyes shutting down.
«I know» he whines.
«That’s at least something» the hyung scoffs. 
«Did you talk?»
«No» he lets out. If it wasn’t already clear enough, Jungkook is in very much need of advices.
«We just…»
«What?»
«We don’t speak-» he stops to gulp «like we used to»
Namjoon can’t believe what he’s hearing. 
«What? Why?»
«Cause we simply don’t, it’s complicated»
«It really isn’t» he fights back, slapping his hand on his thigh for a second time.
«Why?»
Jungkook sighs. 
«I just… I think I need time to- get over her or whatever this is, I-»
«You have to talk to her, Jungkook,» he shakes his head, unbelievable «if you don’t, she’ll think there’s something wrong. You have to be clear and-»
«I can’t» he bites down on his lips, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. Sleep is getting to him and the fact that tonight he didn’t sleep well makes it even worse.
«I can’t tell her»
«It’s worse if you don’t! Your friendship is not going to be fixed magically» 
«That’s the reason why I need time» he blubbers. 
«And the reason why she’s looking so gloomy» Namjoon’s response dejects him even more.
«I know I’m being a dick,» he stares down at his feet in the slippers «but I can’t lose her»
Silence is the answer that accompanies him. The cheers coming from inside the room sound muffled, the light of the moon softly grazing his skin. Just the thought of you not by his side sends a shiver of fear through his spine. He doesn’t want to get to know what it is like to be without you, he can’t.
«Don’t you think that maybe a part of her… at least a small one-»
«No,» his voice is faint «not a small one, not even a bit» 
It stings. So fucking much, it burns. 
Namjoon sees it clearly, the pain written all over his features. To be truthful, he’s always noticed it, even when Jungkook didn’t know. He saw the way he looked at you, his smile when someone mentioned you, the way he would talk about you or what happened to you the day before, the way you made him laugh while doing the dishes, how he was ready to put you first, even before him. It actually makes it hard for him to understand, how it took all this time for Jungkook to realise. 
«Even when you were- like intimate?» 
Jungkook’s eyes shoot right to his hyung’s face. He always tries not to think about that, for as much as he can. Even though, some nights your hands on his skin haunt him, your moans in his ears, your taste on his lips.
«I don’t think so» 
«Did you kiss? Like, or I don’t know, was like- two friends having sex or- what was it like?» 
Jungkook wishes he didn’t ask. Cause bringing the thought of you looking so vulnerable and ready for him in his arms sends back feelings he tried so hard to hold back in the last two weeks. 
«It was…» he takes a deep breath, letting the air out from his mouth.
«Consuming» his breath gets stuck in his throat.
«We were just…» he shakes his head «it wouldn’t be the same for her. I loved it in a different way»
«Maybe,» Namjoon pats his shoulder gently «but how was she? Like, was she like the 
Y/n you always hang out with? Like- you know, how awkward it can be when two friends fuck, come on» he chuckles lightly, not really wanting to be explicit about the two of his best friends.
«She was sweet. Like, so sweet. The last time, she…» he closes his eyes, munching on his lips. The scene playing in his mind leaves him in agony, it’s pure torture to remember you in such a crude state, all for him.
«She was in pain. When she called and we were at Taehyung’s place-»
«That night?» Namjoon’s eyes shoot wide open, mouth hanging as the youngest nods.
«She was in pain, she hurt her ankle. But the way she looked at me, kept me close… the way she opened up to me just- it kills me to remember her in that way» he sniffs. His eyes are glossy. He wishes there would be a better way, an answer written somewhere, a safe recipe to follow. 
His friend understands that he can’t ask more. Jungkook is in pain. And he wishes he could do something about it, even though he knows he can’t. So he just hugs him, his hand patting the youngest head to comfort him at least a bit. 
Tumblr media
«Jungkook!» you yell from your living room. You’re tired. It’s becoming too much, and you need to talk, right now. 
You don’t hear any answer, so you stride to his room. The knock on his door makes him grimace, eyes staring directly at it.
«Come out,» you stare at the white wood, arms crossed in front of you «please» you add, voice softening.
He lets go of his clothes, laying the folded pieces on the bed more carefully than the others. 
«I cooked you dinner, I left a post it» the door opens, revealing him in all his height, hair still a bit wet from the shower. The black hoodie he’s wearing makes him look smaller and it involuntarily warms your heart a bit.
«You said you were going to sleep» you murmur.
«I am» he says.
«You’re not,» you shake your head «you’re mad at me. Did I do something wrong? Please, just tell me, it’s killing me» 
Jungkook stares at you blankly. His eyes scan your features for what seems to be an hour. He shakes his head slowly, guilt takes over him, the displeasure clear on his face. He softens, a step towards you and all of his defences fall down.
«I’m not mad at you» he’s sweet, voice covered in honey. 
«You aren’t?» your arms fall at your sides.
«You’re mad. There’s something off, you’ve been ignoring me for the last two weeks»
«I-» he cuts himself off, closes his eyes for a second. 
«I wasn’t… I…»
«Please, just talk to me» you plead. You can’t stand this atmosphere, not with him.
Jungkook shakes his head, his arms wrap around you in a tight embrace, it’s all he can do.
«I’m sorry. It’s just that work has been rough and I’m all over the place, just- I’m sorry» 
The knot in his throat is getting thicker, but he can’t say more. He knows he’s been a dick, a total idiot.
«You say that but I…» you shake your head on his shoulder, your arms move around him and you feel him sniff. 
«I promise there’s nothing wrong» he whispers, he moves his hand up and down on your back to soothe you, the other keeps you close.
«I’m sorry» 
«Talk to me» 
His hair tickle your skin, the itch makes you rub your face on his shoulder to tone it down and his hand fists the cloth of your shirt.
«If you feel like you need to vent or just… anything» your back shakes, and he knows you’re about to cry. Tears don’t fall though, you try as best as you can to not make your sensibility take over you even though your eyes are burning.
«Ssh, don’t cry, please» he sounds pleading, voice faint and shaky. It’s killing him for real, to not open up to the person he loves the most, you’re his best friend, his person. And he just wishes so much his feelings never showed up, that he didn’t look at you so differently from the way you look at him. 
«I will. I will, I promise» he blows. 
Tumblr media
The atmosphere in your house feels light. It’s back to normal, with Jungkook walking around the place on a Thursday night, his voice echos in the kitchen as he wipes the floor, one of the songs he’s been listening to lately getting sung over and over again. 
«Jungkook, you need to see this» you call from the sofa. His eyes travel to where you are, the light of the kitchen shines stars in his irises and the beanie he’s wearing makes him look so cute. He leaves the broom carefully balanced on the side of the counter, his feet tiptoeing towards your spot. He squats down, eyes squinting at your phone.
«Woah!» his excitement makes you giggle as his hands zooms in the picture. 
«It’s our niece? I need to call Yoongi hyung! Did he send it to you?» 
You nod, a big smile on your face.
«Wait, how do you know it’s a girl?» 
Jungkook shakes his head.
«I can feel it» he beams.
«Where is my phone?» 
«I think you left it on the sink» you answer. He nods eagerly, getting back up. The way he hops all the way to the sink makes your turn and laugh, he’s so dorky you want to slap his cute little ass. 
«Fuck, I stepped on the dirt!» he whines, stopping right away. You laugh even harder, hands grabbing your stomach as he huffs and gets his phone. He comes back to the couch, falling on it with a thud and raising his feet on his knee. 
«Don’t do it here!» you scold, still laughing. He simply giggles, wagging his toes at you.
«Clean it for me?» he laughs. You want to puke.
«Ew! What’s wrong with you?» he laughs so hard you start laughing again too, looking at him as he just simply wipes it on the carpet. You roll your eyes, pinning a mental note to vacuum it later.
«Aigoo, I never walk without slippers and now this happens» he complains, shaking his head. 
He quickly finds his hyung’s contact and puts the call on speaker. 
«Jungkookah» Yoongi’s voice fills the room, the younger smiles brightly at the screen.
«My hyung is going to be a dad! Yah! Bring us out for dinner» you slap his thigh, glaring at him. Yoongi laughs, totally expecting his request.
«I will. You saw the ultrasound?» 
«Of course I did,» he nods «I feel like it will be a girl. Am I right?»
«We don’t know yet. It’s too soon, but I don’t think so. Hyunjoo says it’s a boy» 
«Really?» he narrows his eyes. 
«How was it?» you ask, the excitement is uncontainable. You’re so happy for your friends, can’t wait to meet the little one.
«I cried,» he laughs, «I thought I would hold it in but I cried. Fuck, I’m so happy Y/n» 
«I know,» you chuckle «how are the cravings?» 
«Ugh, getting worse» he whines.
«I came home and she was eating pickled cucumbers,» he moans out of disgust «made me go back to the supermarket cause she needed mustard. Couldn’t she just send me a text before» he shakes his head even though you can’t see him.
Jungkook chuckles, his body getting limp on the cushions.
«That’s what you get for making me clean the ten servings of noodles you spilled the other day» 
«Yah! I had to set the table!» 
«You were the one who spilled all!» he fights back.
Tumblr media
Jungkook is really trying. And it’s going fine, it’s not hard to enjoy his days with you, it is never been. You just have chemistry together, you laugh almost all the time and never find it boring to be together. It’s just. 
It’s just the way his eyes linger on your rosy cheeks too much, he has to remind himself to look away, back to the movie playing on your tv. Or last night, when you were dancing to your favourite girl group’s new song, the way your lips curved into a beautiful smile, hair flying in the air and he had to hold back his smile, too big.
If he looks back to all these years, it makes him laugh, how fucking long it took him to realise how much you had of him. You spent entire days together and he would still do the same as he does now, stare at you mindlessly just for the sake of admiring you, then getting back to what was happening around him. It’s always been here, this feeling. It just took him so much to come to surface and even when it did he tried so hard to make it go away, push it down inside him until it became too much too bear and it hit as fucking hard as what you mean to him. All he repeats to himself is that he just has to do what he’s been doing all along, right? He lived with this for years, a day more won’t hurt him. 
«What are we doing tomorrow?»
He eats the last bite of pizza, cleaning his hands with the tissue.
«Yoongi’s taking us out for dinner» you answer, getting up to clean around. You grab the boxes and the glasses, the coke under your arm.
«We have to go grocery shopping» he adds. He sees you nod, you put the boxes on the counter and the glasses in the sink, make sure the coke is well closed and then put it in the fridge. It’s almost empty, the redness of the gochuchang box parked on the first shelf stands out too much with nothing beside it.
«Yes» you nod. 
«Are we going early? We can have breakfast out» 
He gets up from his spot, waddling to you. A big smile is all you need to understand his answer. Breakfasts out are the best. 
Tumblr media
Breaksfast out means getting up on time. Something you both struggle with, since you spent yesterday night awake until late. Jungkook has the tendency of staying in bed until he’s at least a bit awake, staring blankly at something as he sits up, eyes puffy and hair messy. You just storm out of the bed knowing that if you don’t you’ll fall asleep again in a matter of seconds. 
You knock on his door, no answer in sight. 
«Jungkook!» you call again. You hear the shuffles of the covers, his cute mumbling words that haven’t been invented yet.
«Get ready, let’s go have breakfast» you say. You hear him moan as he stretches, take it as your chance to go back to your room and shower. 
It takes you both twenty minutes to kind of be ready for your day, your eyes both puffy and a bit red. You decide to go to your favorite cafe and when you arrive a wave of excitement washes over you. It’s been so long since you had a nice and relaxed breakfast outside, the feeling of being free the whole day and not having to worry too much. Jungkook watches you smile as you order and play with your phone as you both wait for your food, his pinkish lips curling up into a beam. It feels good to see you like this; relaxed, happy. It reminds him of when you were younger, with less burden on your shoulders. 
When you go grocery shopping together it usually ends up with him pushing the cart and you filling it up, he points at a snack from time to time and you end up adding it to the rest. You come home for lunch, watch a movie right after until your eyes start to fall shut, so you decide it’s time to take a nap. Jungkook stays on the couch, wanting to see how it ends. You fall asleep well, sleep for two hours straight until your alarm rings. Silence fills the house when you wake up and you guess your friend is probably napping too, so you tiptoe out of your bedroom to get a snack, until you hear him.
He’s working out judging from his grunts coming from the bedroom in front of you. You’re used to it, Jungkook likes to stay active and just fills his time like this from time to time when he has time. 
Just, this time your mind wanders. You hear his sounds, picture him sweaty and with his muscles flexing, his eyes focused and his jaw clenched, his breath rough… until you’re wet, pulsating. You hold your breath, close your eyes. And you go back to your room, shut the door.
Scenes of him eating you out play right in front of your eyes, his moans. You end up on the bed, your trousers off and your panties pushed on the side of your lips. There were times when the thought of him in this way turned you on after you stared fucking but you always pushed them away, telling yourself that it’s not right. Just, this time they hit you harder. It’s been a while since you had sex and the way he sounded just makes you want to open his door and… you shouldn’t do that. Just focus on you, you think. 
Your fingers graze your clit, go lower to get your wetness on your fingers then go back to their initial place. You see him between your legs, his fingers inside you and his dark doe eyes staring directly at you. You hear him whisper, telling you how good you take his cock, how your pussy wraps so good around it, how good you make him feel.
The image of his cock fills your mind, leaving you with the need to suck it and hallow your cheeks around it, his grunts filling up your ears, the sweetest sound ever. You feel his fingers, delicate and warm, they touch you and caress you, his kisses on your lips. 
You see him on top of you, telling you to be careful with your ankle, eyes worried and arms wrapped around you. You feel loved, for a second. A kind of love that doesn’t belong to a friend. You feel admired, beautiful. The way he looks at you with pure affection makes you hiss, his words in your ear and your bodies tight. 
Feels so good, getting to have you like this.
See him pounding into you at the slowest pace, his fingers gracing your clavicle, his hair on your shoulder. The way he checks in with you to make sure that you’re enjoying this as much as him, begging you not hold back your moans.
Gonna give my baby what she needs.
You shiver, legs shaking. 
His fingers on your clit, his cock brushing against your walls with each thrust, his whines. The way he called you. 
Ssh, let go, his voice faint as the pleasure takes over him, his balls tight, give it to me, love. You cum, silent and incredibly hard your orgasm hits you like a wave during a thunderstorm, impossible to hold back and too good to decline. 
You lay on the bed, breath stuttered and eyes shut. Your heart beats too loud. 
Tumblr media
The first time you had sex it just happened. You don’t know what exactly went through your mind, the reason why you had to start it all; your body moved on its own. Jungkook was tired, arrived late at home and was sleepy. You cooked him dinner, kept him company while he ate even though you had dinner already. You listened to him whine about his day, the tiredness evident in his voice. A few minutes later you were on the way to your bed, already too intertwined with each other and with the new feeling bubbling up between you to stop whatever the hell was happening. 
The second time, it was pretty much just the same, you didn’t go to each other with the intent of fucking, but you ended up just like that, with his cock in your mouth and his eyes on your face. 
The third time, it was because you ended up talking about what was happening and how you should behave, how you should keep your friendship away from your rendezvous. It stared just like that, but again, you didn’t really behave that much.
And then, the last time. 
You never once went to each other with the intention of fucking. You wonder when is it going to happen again, in what way, the reason that could start it all. Would it be so bad if you just grabbed him and started it? Does that make your relationship different ? It would, you guess. But is it any different not looking for it but don’t say no when it happens? You don’t even know why you’re thinking about such questions, when you should be focusing on work. Today was stressful, you had a ten minutes lunch break because you had to go back to the papers on your table. You’re tired and your period is on the way which is probably the main reason why you’ve been feeling horny for the last four days. You should just leave it as it is or take care of it on your own, not really into casual sex with strangers or clubs. You wish you were more like Hana sometimes, enterprising and more likely to be ready to have some fun before she used to date Jin.
Your phone rings, displaying Jungkook’s name.
«Hey» you answer. 
«I’m bored» he whines from the other side. You picture him with his head falling back and his eyes shut, pouty lips.
«What should I do?» he stretches the last word out, childish tone. 
«Cook me dinner please?» you try. 
«Already did,» he huffs «when are you coming home?» 
«I have so much work to do, I don’t know» 
He whines again, leaned on his stomach his cheek is squashed against the cushion of your couch, arms by his sides and his legs kicking the air. 
His voice comes out muffled: «Please, I’m so bored» he complains. 
«Jungkook, I’m working» you sigh.
«Can I come?» he stares at the screen pleadingly, his ankles crossing as he flexes his toes. He eagerly takes the phone in his hands, eyes stuck on your name. He had a long day today, and even though he wishes he could go to bed already even though it’s only 8 pm, he’s not feeling sleepy nor tired, quite the opposite actually. Being alone in the living room is boring him too much, and he doesn’t feel like going to to someone else’s place, giving the usual noisy meeting they usually have. He just wants to relax, but not on his own. 
«Kook-»
«I’ll let you work, I promise» he begs, «I just want company»
If he could be an emoji, he’d probably be the one with the moist pleading eyes. You know it, the expression he makes when he craves for something, and that’s exactly your weak point.
A deep sigh makes his way out of your mouth, he can hear it from the phone. Silent follows right after.
«Okay, bring me food though please? I’m starving» 
«Yes!» he punches the air with a fist.
«I’ll be there in ten, I think. Just text me what you want to eat»
«The dinner you already made?» you ask. Jungkook licks his lips, this time the silence fills his part of the call.
«Okay, then be there in twenty I guess» he huffs.
You shake your head, what a moron.
Tumblr media
You realise in this period you’re really all over the place. And you also ponder, how long is it been since you had sex with someone? Not Jungkook, someone else. Jungkook is your friend, you shouldn’t think about him when you’re touching yourself to get some stress out or just when you’re craving for sex. It’s not right, it’s not the place of a friend. It’s making you stressed, to think about sex and link it to his face in your mind. You shouldn’t have done it in the first place, you think. You also thought about telling him that it can’t happen again, but it seems like it’s not going to happen anyway. You’re glad. 
So for once, tonight you let Eunji and Hana take you to a club, with just the intention of trying to take your mind off of it. Your methods didn’t work until now, so maybe theirs will. Your friends know you too well though.
«There’s something wrong, I smell your frustration from here» Eunji inhales dramatically, a grimace forms on her face right after.
«Ew, it smells bad. Like onion and soju mixed together» she likes her tongue out disgusted. You laugh, Hana shakes her head.
«That’s the guy behind you» she points at the man dancing his ass out on his own, totally drunk.
«For real though, what’s wrong?» 
Both of their eyes linger on you. You sigh.
«Just feeling a bit overwhelmed» you shrug. Your friendship it’s deep, meaningful, full of memories, you know you could tell everything to them and they would understand. You could even tell them about the rendezvous you had with Jungkook, but that would put you and him in a not so comfortable position with your friends, the last thing you want is for them to think that you have sex with each other consistently. 
«I’ve been sleeping with someone» you announce. Eunji coughs on her drink, Hana’s eyes shoot right open. They stare at you as if you have two heads, still on the dance floor. 
«Oh, come on! It’s not that shocking. I-»
«We need to sit» Hana takes you by the hand, Eunji following right after. The couches are not really big, but you fit into one without any problems. The people are less here, the smell of alcohol and sweat too, thankfully. 
Their attention goes back to you; «Is he someone we know?»
«Why would you? No,» you shrug «you don’t know him»
«Is he good?» Eunji sips from her drink. That’s a weird question, not the one you would firstly expect from her.
«What? Why?» 
«You seem stressed and you said it yourself that you’re overwhelmed, so it’s either one of the two: he’s so fucking good that you can’t stop thinking about it or he totally sucks» straight to the point. Hana caresses your shoulder, glaring at Eunji for her ways even though you know that deep inside her she wants to laugh.
«No! He’s- I mean, he’s… good. It’s something else that bothers me»
«What?» Hana coos.
«He’s my friend, and it just happened. Different times» you explain.
«So you’re fuck buddies now?» Eunji raises her eyebrows.
«No! It just happened, we don’t do it often. I just… I don’t know how to explain it, it’s not like we see each other in that way. We have a good friendship, like- we value each other. Every time it happened, it’s not like we were expecting it or-»
«That’s worse, I guess» she shakes her head. You’re about to say something, but her words leave you wordless. 
«What, why?»
«Listen, I don’t think you can be friend and still sleep with him. If you had sex, that means you’re attracted to each other. Even if it’s not in a romantic way, it just… If it just happened, girl, there was sexual tension between you. I guess» she adds the end just because your expression is giving her shivers. The look on your friends’ faces screams panic.
«It would be better if you had a clear answer on what you are. Like… mmh, you know I’m bad at explaining things!» she whines, «Hana, please help»
Your friend sighs.
«Y/n, is this thing still happening? Like, are you still sleeping together?»
You shrug.
«It’s been a while,» you let out «actually, that’s the problem»
«You want to-»
«No, I don’t» you cut her off.
«I realised that it’s getting too much. Like, I think of him too much in a sexual way it’s making me feel uncomfortable»
«That’s what I meant» Eunji nods. 
«I’ve been there. Remember Hyun?» she chuckles. 
Of course you remember him. The guy was not really close to her, but it was the start of a friendship still. They used to have sex everywhere, their friendship ended up with them fucking each others brains out, after two months, they couldn’t bare it anymore. The atmosphere was heavy, too much sexual tension without even really having a conversation. The fact that Jimin started to find interest in Eunji made her end it even faster.
«We’re not like that though. We have a good friendship, we trust each other and-»
«And you have sex. Not regularly, it happens without any expectations. So it means that you don’t see each other as fuckbuddies, but there’s sexual tension. That’s the base for a relationship. If you put sex into the mix, you end up with butterflies in your stomach. I’m just saying that if you value him that much you should be careful. Understand what you want» her voice softens at the end, but you’re too upset by her words to notice. Eunji hates to be the one saying this, but she has to try at least. You need to know what you’re doing, set some boundaries wether you decide to do something or the other. 
«Y/n, you know that we love you. Eunji’s just trying to-»
«I know» you nod, a knot in your throat. 
«I just… I need to go home, need to clear my mind and sleep over it» you sigh, monotone. Your hand grabs the pochette laying by your side, eyes scamming the club that suddenly seems to little. You shouldn’t have slept with him in the first place. You know that you don’t feel feelings towards him, but thinking about him in such ways… it makes you feel guilty, like your friendship could lose its meaning, like it’s stained. Like it could get out of control. It’s too much to think about him when you’re alone deep at night, like the last one, his face invading your mind when your fingers are deep inside you, even though you’re trying not to picture him. 
«Now?» Hana asks, the worry in her eyes is clear. A glance towards Eunji and they’re both nodding, communicating with each other without having to speak. They know you too well, they could see the panic in your eyes even with theirs closed. 
The way back home it’s short, the music playing in Eunji’s car does nothing to ease your mind even though it’s your favorite girl group, your friends glance at you from time to time from the rear view mirror. When you get off and say goodbye, they wait for you to shut the door behind you to look at each other, eyes wide open and jaw hanging. 
«Jungkook» the name is crystal clear, both of them letting it out with a shocked expression.
«It’s fucking Jungkook» Hana nods.
Tumblr media
Jungkook didn’t think that coming back home early meant this. 
You said you had company, texted him twenty minutes before he got off work, but he wasn’t expecting this kind of company. He was expecting Eunji and Hana, maybe Taehyung or some of your friends, a coworker maybe. Definitely not you getting fucked in your bedroom by someone he can’t identify. 
This is torture, it’s all he can think. When he arrived nothing seemed weird or odd, expect for the fact that he found the living room empty. As he started getting closer to his bedroom, he realised. And fuck, the slap he got on his face, the punches that hit him on the stomach and on his chest left him breathless, his injuries in pain and itching, his eyes shutting. 
This is torture, it really is. 
He moves from the hallway, goes to the bathroom to wash his hands and wet his face with cold water.
He can’t stay here, not in such a moment. Not when he can hear you like this, with someone else. It hurts. Fuck, it fucking hurts, it stings, it tears him wide open all the way from the inside to the last layer of his skin. His eyes burn, lips twitch. And suddenly, he’s sobbing. Sobbing in his bathroom, his reflection pitiful and broken. His breath is rough, cheeks stained from the tears, vision foggy. A whimper comes out of his mouth and he bites on his lower lip, repeating to himself that it’s okay. But it’s really not.
Tumblr media
Jungkook’s eyes are swollen, puffy. You think it’s because he’s still half asleep, but when you meet his eyes you’re taken aback. He looks tired, as if he didn’t sleep well, but they’re a bit red. He cried? You didn’t hear him coming in yesterday night, you knew he worked late and left him dinner ready, but when you woke up today his food was just where you left it, the table still set. 
«Kook?» you coo from the counter. He hums in return, head hanging low on his shoulders and eyes staring down at his legs, he sits on the couch with the tv playing in front of him. 
You turn around, wash your hands quickly and dry them with a paper towel. You tiptoe to the sofa, glance at him from the side. Your senses are tingling, there’s something wrong. 
«Kook, look at me?» you ask sweetly. He stays still, fingers fidgeting on his lap. He thought you were still sleeping, his room felt too tight to stay in it any longer. He wishes you had different opinions on open spaces, when you were looking for a house. Maybe you wouldn’t have seen him with a wall dividing the living room from the kitchen, and he would be tiptoeing back to his bed already.
«Please?» you try. 
It’s to no use. All you can do is gulp, worried for what’s going on.
«Is something wrong?» you ask.
«Did something happen?» 
He doesn’t answer. He knows if he opens his mouth now he will start crying again. Maybe you should just sit beside him and wait for him to open up. You turn around the table, take a sit next to him and pat him on his shoulder. 
«Koo» you call again. He doesn’t even look at you. Your hand stays there, trying to give him some comfort but it only makes him want to break in a loud cry. 
«Please» you whisper. 
Yesterday, he thought about going over to Namjoon’s place or just anyone else’s, but he didn’t want to show how miserable he was. Thankfully, that guy was out ten minutes later. What a fucking joke, if he found just a bit more traffic coming home he wouldn’t be feeling like shit now. 
Your hand leaves him, you get up and for a second his lips tremble, his walls falling down as he thinks you’re giving him some space. But then, you kneel down. In front of him, right between his legs with your fucking beautiful eyes staring at him. Your expression changes; the worry gets more urgent, pressing. 
«What happened?» you’re breathless. You’ve never seen him like this, it scares the shit out of you and he can see it perfectly. You reach your arms around him, his breath cuts off.
«Don’t» he whines, voice faint, pleading. You don’t understand what is happening, your head is spinning. You put your arms back down.
«Talk to me» you whisper. He has tears in his eyes, his lips are red as if he’s been biting them all night long. He turns to the side, his eyes burn when he stares at the wall without blinking. His lips tremble. 
«Koo, please. I’ve got you»
The dim breaks. His chest shakes, expression contorting as the first tears start coming out. He sobs faintly, shakes his head to himself and looks down to the ground. It’s physically painful, to see him hurting this much; you wish you could take it all away from him and make it yours, if only that was possible you’d do it even if it hurt ten times more. It couldn’t hurt more than this, though.
Your hands wrap around him, holding him so tight to you that you feel his sobs vibrate against you. 
«I’ve got you» you soothe him, caressing his hair. With your warmth around him and your caresses, everything falls down into pieces. Every part of him breaks harder, the tear gets wider and deeper, your words of reassurance fill the wounds up but don’t sew them, they just make them heavier to the point that they pierce him and make him empty. Your hold suffocates him and your warmth is painful, your caresses bluffer him. 
«I- I c- Please I-» he shakes in your hold, not able to speak. Your eyes burn, seeing him like this it’s atrocious. 
«Breathe» you beg, holding him tighter.
«Please breathe for me Jungkook, breathe» 
He hears how your voice is shaking, sniffles as he tries to breathe properly, sobs bubble up from his chest when he inhales. Your cheek brushes against his neck, you leave a kiss out of comfort and his hands instinctively fist your shirt. He tells himself to slow down, think properly and hold back but with your loving arms around him it’s a nightmare.
«Ssh, it’s okay. I promise» you whisper. Time slows down, you just focus on his breathing. One thing at a time, you tell yourself. You, need to calm him down first, you need to see him breathing properly, at least a bit lucid. Stroking his back up and down you think about what you can do to make him relax. You’ll make him some tea as soon as he’s doing better, it will soothe him at least a little bit.
«I’m here for you» 
Jungkook’s breath moderately calms down,  his sobs still come from time to time, but you have all the time in the world. You don’t care about how long it’s going to take him to stop crying, you just know that you want to be here, need to. It’s desperate, the need you have to make him feel better, almost consuming.
«I’m- ngh- I’m sorry» he hiccups. He buries is face in the crook of your neck, his cheeks are still wet and his hair tickle you.
«So sorry- I’m really-»
«Ssh, it’s okay» you repeat. You keep stroking his hair, Jungkook seems to quite down the more you do it, his hold gets firmer too as if he’s trying to anchor himself. 
«Did something bad happen?» you try. 
He moves in your hold, making you squeeze him tighter until you realise that he’s looking for a way out, so you let go. He wishes it was this easy, that his feelings could let him free just as easy. With you between his legs,  it gets hard to breathe again. The way your eyes linger on his face, scan every feature and every expression, even the way he bites the inside of his cheek. 
«I… I’m sorry» he mumbles low. This time, his eyes look at you. Clear, transparent, vibrant fear lingers in them with so much weight that it takes away your braveness. Jungkook’s eyes stay in yours even while they fill up with tears again, they don’t budge. The knot in his throat gets back, your presence suddenly feels blissful and he wishes he could just linger in this feeling. The feeling of you being close even if it’s only like this, keep being satisfied with only having a part of you.
«It’s- too painful» he breathes. 
«What is it?» you look at him from down, with your glassy eyes and he just-
«I- I… I love you» his voice trembles. 
Silence fills the room.
His words make a dull sound in your head, your body stiffens, lips ajar. Jungkook is frightened, totally stuck in place. His heart beats so fucking loud that it will explode.
The shock it’s too big and it stops you from letting the three words sink in, all you can do is stare at him blankly as he holds his heart in front of you.
«I’m- I can’t,» he shakes his head «it’s too much. I just… it’s killing me» 
«You…» you gulp «you don’t mean it that way, right?» your voice trembles.
«It’s just- we-» you shake your head, take in a deep breath.
«We shouldn’t have- it’s because we had sex. It has to be because of that cause you didn’t-» you stop talking. 
Jungkook stays silent, his chest burns, the tears in his eyes get uncontainable, until he breaks again. His shoulders tremble and he sniffs but it’s so silent that it’s even more consuming. He looks at you with such eyes, such vulnerability and fear at the same time, as if he was a stray puppy and you his possible saviour or his next predator. It scares you. And you understand his answer, because you know him, because it can be seen from miles away. 
It’s not because you slept together.
«I need-» it’s hard to breathe properly «I need air» 
Tumblr media
He’s confused, he mistook his emotions, most surely. It has to be that. How can- how can it be not? You’re his friend, his best friend. The one he likes to tease, the one that knows him almost as deep as he knows himself. The person he- this can’t be right. It simply can’t.
You can’t come back home. You really can’t, he needs space to think this through; you need it. You need peace, somewhere to relax, to just don’t think. If you go to Eunji’s place maybe- she will ask. Hana too, and what about Jin and Jimin? Maybe a hotel room is the best choice, in that way you won’t receive questions, no one will get curious. 
Thank god you had your phone in your pocket when you went out and weren’t wearing home clothes. You book an hotel room not too far, call a cab since you left your car keys at home. 
You can’t face him now. 
You walked a lot today, wandered around without a destination and ended up sipping a bottle of strawberry mogu mogu on Han river. Your phone buzzed at lunch time, then again at four pm, another time just fifteen minutes ago, but you didn’t take it out of your pocket. It scares you, because you know that it’s him. 
Your hotel room is a beautiful one, has a big double bed with fluffy pillows, big bathtub, snacks in the fridge, a beautiful view on the eighteenth floor. The big buildings and the city lights make you feel small, the look of the man at the reception desk too. He probably doesn’t care about the reason why you’re here instead of sleeping at home, but your mind does. Maybe then, you’re the one who makes yourself feel small. Still, you don’t want to care. You can’t go back home, not now. What would you do? What would you tell him, how would he look at you? You need time. 
When you lay on your bed, your phone buzzes again. You breathe in as you open the messages.
From Jungkook🐰 12.37pm
I’m sorry. I cooked you lunch, I left the food in the oven so it will still be warm when you come back. I ate early to give you some space. I’m really sorry
From Jungkook🐰 4.13pm
Where are you? Please be safe. Your car is here, do you want me to come and pick you up? Or I can call a taxi. Just, please be safe
From Jungkook🐰 7.54pm
Y/n, I’m worried. It’s dark outside and I went out to look for you but I just don’t know where you are. I cooked you dinner, so if you come back it will be in the oven too. Just text me so I know that you’re safe at least, please
From Jungkook🐰 8.33pm
I’m really sorry, please come home. I’ll go to Taehyung’s place if you need to be alone. Where are you? It’s dark outside and I’m really worried
Guilt takes over you, makes his way through every single part of your body until there’s not a single piece of your skin that isn’t drenched with it. Your fingers move on the keyboard, eyebrows pinched together.
From Y/n🧸 8.36pm
I’m safe. I booked a hotel room for tonight, so don’t worry. I need a bit of space, so I don’t think I will be back tomorrow. 
Jungkook’s fingers never typed an answer so fast.
From Jungkook🐰 8.36pm
I was so scared that something happened
From Jungkook🐰 8.36pm
Please eat dinner and don’t skip your meals
From Jungkook🐰 8.37pm
I won’t text you if you need space. Just, do you want me to bring you your car keys? You left them here
From Y/n🧸 8.39pm
No, it’s fine. 
From Jungkook🐰 8.39pm
Okay
From Jungkook🐰 8.45pm
I know you don’t want to talk right now, but I just need to tell you this: I will always have my arms empty for you, whenever you need a safe space I will be here. As we’ve always done with each other. Please remember this. Sleep well 
Tumblr media
You wonder how is it possible, to be friends with someone for so long and don’t notice that there’s more. You wonder when it begun, how. Where did the friendship end and the love begin, the boundaries. Which one of his gestures where made out of friendship, which were made out of love. How did he realise. Why you. 
For the three days after you left home, all you told yourself was that he was confused, that he mistook his feelings, that it can’t be true. After you spent yesterday night walking in the streets, took another walk on the Han river and even dared to eat dinner on the riverside, a good look at the waters took your mind back to his eyes. To the way he looked at you, his eyes clear, transparent and full of vulnerability and fear when he opened up to you. What if, he’s always been in love with you, it’s always been this way. What if he’s not misinterpreting his feelings, what if he really loves you. 
It scared you even more than the day before.
You never saw him that way, your friendship has always been just friendship for you. Until- well, it’s still friendship. Eunji wouldn’t say so, but for you it is. So where does love start for you? With attraction most of all, you guess. With the want and the need to feel someone in more ways, physically, emotionally, sentimentally. With wanting to be whole. Love is… butterflies, feeling loved, giving love, taking care of each other. So where is the boundary? The boundary of friendship. 
Because fuck, today you start to wonder, you think that Eunji is right. 
What do friends do? Are you not allowed to feel all of that and still call it just friendship? What if, what if you are the one mistaking yourself? What if it’s something else, what if it’s not just friendship anymore. When did it start, when does it end. You’ve always craved this things with Jungkook. Always craved for physical touch, maybe not in a sexual way before, but what if you just didn’t ponder on it too much because you’ve always restrained yourself into thinking that you were just friends. You’ve felt the need to share, to the point that you got a home with him. You’ve always wanted him emotionally, always were ready for him in whatever occasion, always felt close to him. You’ve always felt loved, you’ve always gave love back. You always took care of each other with all yourselves.
Would you do all of that for any of your friends, for Taehyung, or Namjoon maybe? 
You’re not too sure. You don’t think so.
Is it the same with them? Of course not. You would do anything for them, but you guess it’s not in the same way, not as deeply.
What about before, even before the first time you had sex. Because maybe, it could be that you’re thinking this just because you slept together? Like, you could be the one mistaking your emotions now. 
You still felt this kind of connection before, though. With the Jungkook who was just your best friend. You don’t feel it for Namjoon who’s just your friend. You don’t feel that kind of tight embrace around you when he lingers his eyes on you for too much, his laughter doesn’t make you giggle like Jungkook’s. You don’t feel lost when he’s not talking to you or not meeting your eyes when you look at him. You wouldn’t want to have anything more with him in the first place, cause he’s just Namjoon. And for god’s sake, you wouldn’t have wanted it with Jungkook neither, if you didn’t feel already more. The fact that you were already ready to just welcome him in when the opportunity of being closer knocked on your door, well… that’s the answer. You still remember it, the frustration of seeing him so tired and the need to make him feel better after a shitty day, the need you had to take care of him when you first slept together. 
You were never just friends. Maybe in the first place, maybe at the beginning, maybe when you were younger. You just simply got used to him and his presence, never really gave your eyes a chance to see clearly, never really made yourself look at him differently because he was just… your Jungkook. 
But, what now? Is he still- Jungkook? Like, your best friend? Now that you realised, now that you understand the reason why you wondered when the next time was going to be, how; the reason why his eyes slipped in your mind at night, his words, the way he called you the last time you slept together. 
Now that you realise that, could you go back to who you were before? Just, craving for his touch but telling yourself that it’s not okay, looking at him and wishing you could take away all of his tiredness but thinking that it’s normal, for a friend. Wanting to take every part of him and know it all, looking from far away, peeking out and stealing some but not getting it whole. Could you still do that? Cause before, you didn’t know at least. Now, could you? Sentimentally too, would you be okay with it?
Tumblr media
Jungkook just wants to go to sleep and forget about the shitty day he had. He didn’t sleep well tonight, the house feels to empty without you and last night his brain just wouldn’t stop working, kept wondering about you. If you had dinner, what time did you go to sleep at, how much did you work, if you finished the last drama you were watching. 
Today, it was pretty much just the same. The fear of you not coming back insinuated in his mind at some point during work, he even took a break and had a snack but he just kept picturing himself inside your house, all alone. Him without you, his best friend and his person. He typed on your chat for multiple times, asking you if you were eating your meal correctly, how work was going, if you were craving for ice cream just like he was, he texted sorry too, but he always ended up not sending the messages. 
He’s tired, work was rough and he wishes he could just go back in time to ask you what you want to eat for dinner, he’d cook it even though he’s tired as hell. He wouldn’t sleep for three days straight, if that would be able to bring you back just to have dinner together. 
He hates to know that you feel uncomfortable with him, can’t come back home because he’s there, that you won’t look at him in the same way as you did before. He hates to not have you by his side, when just a look could make him happy. 
The guys packed him on the shoulder, told him that he did the right thing, but he doesn’t think so. These days have been hell. There’s not a day that goes by that he doesn’t think about the way you looked at him, how he stuttered those words out and doesn’t regret it. 
Today they all had lunch together, with Eunji, Hana and Hyunjoo too. It was so odd to not see you there that he kept spacing out all the time. The girls didn’t talk about you and he even though he wanted to he didn’t ask because probably you didn’t tell them what happened.
The elevator doors open and the end of the hallway looks so far from here that he wishes he could teleport. Even the passcode of your door seems too complicated to enter now. He types the first three numbers, his eyes glued on the screen.
The door clicks, a grimace on his face, lips pouty in confusion. Then, your face. 
Jungkook looks at you as if you hung the stars in the sky, as if you were one of them. His eyes open wider, lips ajar, his shoulders fall down. He feels like he’s dreaming. Is it real? You’re home. When did you come, why? What- fuck, he feels like he’s going to cry.
The way he looks at you with his big starry eyes, it makes you gulp. How your fingers tingle for the need you feel to squeeze him tight and never let go. There’s a knot in your throat and all you can do is stare at him and linger in the feelings that hit you like a fucking bucket of cold water. And it’s bitter that they taste like they always did: the sweetness is the same, the audacity just bolder now that you let the door open: but they taste just the same. All this time, all these years. They’ve always been in front of you, you’ve always been way to deep and only realised after so much. 
«I… I- I cooked you dinner» 
He doesn’t budge, still on the doorway and with his eyes glossy. You reach your hand to him, Jungkook still stuck in place as you gently grab his wrist to make him come in, his body almost stumbling at your touch as he enters.
You close the door behind him, leave his wrist. 
«You- you… what? Are you…» he shakes his head, totally astonished. 
«You cooked?» his tone makes your lips stretch into a smile.
«I cooked,» you nod «I cooked us dinner» 
You didn’t think your heart could beat this fast. You really didn’t notice it for all this time. Every time it happened you always blamed it on something else, not the man in front of you. When his words would make you feel comforted, when you’d search for his eyes in the room, when just his presence was enough to make you feel at ease; in every moment the emotion you’re feeling now would bubble up in your chest just for you to push it aside without even noticing, a tag with the label friendship covering its true pinkish colour.
«Take your coat off» you coo. Jungkook stands still for a few seconds, still stunned. His eyes stare at you blankly until he nods. He puts his bag on the ground and hangs his jacket, you watch him move, eyes lingering on every part of him that you missed too much. His long hair, the bangs on his forehead, the mole on his nose, the one right under his lips. When he raises his eyes and finds you staring, you don’t move your eyesight. His eyes pierce right through you, deep and transparent just like the last time. They are scared, vulnerable and totally defenceless; if you looked closely enough, maybe you would’ve always seen it. 
«Jungkook, I…» 
His arms wrap around you. 
It’s tight and soothing and the fucking consuming. You squeeze him in your hold, your head falls on his shoulder and you know that you can’t hold it in any longer. 
«I’m so sorry,» you sniff «I was selfish. I’m sorry. I- I just-»
«Ssh, it’s okay» he sniffs too. The tears burn his eyes as he tries to keep them in but having you here in his arms makes it harder. He feels you hiccup, your back shakes, your hands fist his shirt, and your nose muffles into the crook of his neck. He clenches his jaw, squeezes you tighter.
«I’m sorry too»
«I was so scared. I just- I didn’t realise»
He knows, fuck he knows. He just wishes you wouldn’t vanish away. Don’t, just don’t cause he doesn’t think he will be able to forget himself.
«It’s okay, you don’t- just please don’t leave me» he whimpers. 
Jungkook breaks down in your arms. He loves you too much, values you too much to not have you in his life. He doesn’t care how much he has to hurt or hold back, he can’t do this without you, without his best friend. The house felt so empty without you.
«I won’t,» you sob «I promise I won’t. I’m sorry I made you worry and left. I needed time and- I- I needed to think» you sniff. His hands stroke your hair and you let go of a deep breath. You missed the feeling of his caresses, how his touch is always been enough to sooth you.
«You didn’t do anything wrong» he whispers. A tear streams down from the corner of his eye, it tickles his cheek and makes him loiter in the warmth of you even more.
«No, I- I was selfish… you opened up to me, and I- I left you. I’m-»
«You’re here,» he whispers «you came back. You’re here with me, you- you didn’t leave» his voice breaks and you feel him tremble. Your heart clenches and stings in your chest as he nuzzles his nose into your neck.
«Just- please,» he pleads «stay with me» 
Your dim breaks. You shake your head, lay your lips on his neck. He whimpers as he hiccups and when you lay a soft kiss on his skin Jungkook feels like dying inside. Your lips are so soft. Your nose brushes against him, another kiss laid on his skin just right upper, then another one and another one until you’re just under his jaw, his breath unstable as the tears wet his skin. Your hands leave his back, your body parts slightly, his hands reluctantly let go of the hold he has around you. You cup his cheeks, soft and reddish from the crying, look at him in those beautiful stars. They’re a bit swollen from the tears, his cheeks are damp, his lips trembling. 
«I was so fucking scared that I didn’t realise»
«Me neither,» he nods «but it doesn’t- it doesn’t matter. Just don’t leave. I can’t-» he gulps harshly. 
«The thought of not having- you by my side, it killed me. I- I couldn’t sleep, work was hell, I-»
«I’m not leaving you» your hand tenderly strokes his hair. Jungkook stay still as you dry his tears with your thumb. You want to slap yourself for causing him so much pain, he must’ve felt so scared already and you just- you just made it harder. You should’ve talked to him, should’ve faced him.
 «I promise» you smile softly. Jungkook could implode for how happy he feels right now, with you smiling at him just in the same way as you used to. Your lips tremble and a new hiccup comes out. His arms go back to where they were before, they squeeze you to him and it’s so familiar and bittersweet, it smells like home and trust and all you can do is let go in his embrace.
You let the rest of your tears come out, hear his breathing slow down, feel his heartbeat against you. You kiss his jaw, your lips tickle his wet skin, your hand reaches behind his neck and Jungkook wishes he could just take his heart out of his chest and step on it, make the feelings go away. But it’s just too saccharine, the way your lips linger on his skin for a second too long, how you perfectly fit in his arms.
«I want you,» you whisper «I want you whole» you lay another kiss on his mandible.
«I want every part of you, every- everything you can give» you peck his chin, look at his eyes. Jungkook doesn’t understand, his eyes wide and glossy stare at you as if you were telling him to solve the hardest mathematical problem ever. Still, he looks at you with such tenderness that it makes your insides twist. He’s lost, totally. 
If his love could be represented, he’d paint you in pinkish colours, then in black and white, in blue and all the colours in the world. He’d make a different version every time just to admire at your face some more, to keep the next one to himself when the lights will make the one before fade, so he’ll always be able to meet your eyes just like now. Remember the feeling you light up in him.
«I love you» 
It’s odd, how lives intertwine. How people can take and give from each other pieces that can’t be seen, how two roads that never meet can lead to the same place. It’s beautiful, the way you speak. It’s dreamy. Its dreamy, the way you look at him, the way he used to look at you for all this time, it’s beautiful how your lives intertwined, how you became each other’s mystery and answer at the same time. How you’ve walked together for all this years, silently hand by hand but without ever looking down at them, not even knowing. 
Jungkook laughs. He laughs as his tears fall down and he thinks that maybe the world will end, cause his head is spinning. You chuckle and your eyes are wet, and suddenly your hands cup his cheeks again.
«I love you» you repeat. He shakes his head, sniffing totally in disbelief.
«I do» you laugh, nodding. His head stops. His eyes widen slowly, the look on his face makes you bite down on your lips, it’s like seeing the sky clear after a thunderstorm, as if the sun was peeking out from behind the dark clouds. His mouth opens.
«I do» you whisper. 
Suddenly he wants to cry even more. Your lips lock with his and it’s so gentle and sweet, and oh god, so consuming. You take all the space, every cellule of his body, all the air in the room, in the house even. You leave him breathless, lungs burning on fire. His lips are soft, wet with tears, salty. Jungkook whimpers in your mouth, his hand reaches your face and fuck, there’s no end. No end to how fucking much you have of him, how much of him is yours. 
His thumb strokes your cheek, his other hand falls on your waist. His tongue is warm, his eyes shut, eyelashes fluttering against your cheeks, both of your hearts pounding. You kiss slowly, sweetly, lovingly. You wish you could never let go, have him like this forever. And for the first time your thoughts are the same as Jungkook’s in this moment. If he could read your mind, how big  would be the smile stretching on his face. Jungkook smiles on your lips, his teeth brush against your tongue, his digits on your waist lightly dig into your skin. When you part, your eyes are still shut, foreheads pressing against each other.
«I’m sorry,» you mumble on his lips, he shakes his head, pecking your lips with such tenderness «I’m sorry it took me so long to realise»
Jungkook is the happiest man in the world.
You came back, you’re in his arms, you love him. You fucking love him, you do.
«It’s okay, it’s perfect. You- just please come to me» he guides you close to him again, you shut your mouth when his warmth wraps around you, his eyes shut. You don’t want to let go, you won’t. 
«Jungkook» you call softly. He hums against you neck, his lips dare to peck your skin and he can’t fucking believe that he gets to do it cause he simply can.
«When did you realise?» 
«I already knew» he murmurs.
«But… on Eunji’s birthday… you came back home and were so drunk. You slept with someone else and I just- I guess my feelings were so strong that I couldn’t control them anymore»
«I slept with someone?» you ask, your head shooting up too look at him. Jungkook nods.
«You said he had a pretty dick» he chuckles for your choice of words, even though he can still fill it sting. Just the thought of you in someone else’s arms makes him heart clench. 
«Oh! No!» you laugh, «Jungkook, I didn’t sleep with anyone. He was peeing outside of the club and I was so drunk that I kept repeating him that he had a pretty dick for all the way home» you explain.
«Ew, it’s so embarrassing. Eunji made him take me home because he’s her brother’s best friend» 
Jungkook can’t believe his ears. His eyes are about to roll out of his sockets for how wide they are.
«You- I thought…» he shakes his head.
«I didn’t, you know I don’t feel comfortable in those type of situations» you shake your head.
«Even though… last week I-»
«I know» he murmurs.
«You know?» he nods. 
How does he? You don’t understand, how is-
«I came home early and- I… heard» his words are faint, a thin line that holds all the pain his heart was stained with. It echoes in the room, gets back to your ears until your eyes widen and you feel disoriented.
«So you-» you can’t even process your words properly «I’m so sorry, fuck» you really don’t know how to apologise. He was at home, while you were under another man. He heard you. His eyes were swollen the next morning, that’s why. He couldn’t even look at you. 
«If I knew, I wouldn’t- I…» 
He smiles softly, his heart clenches. 
«You’re in my arms now» his lips tremble slightly.
«I just kept thinking about you and when it was going to happen again. I kept telling myself that we shouldn’t have slept together in the first place, I felt guilty that I thought about my best friend in such ways and- I- I told myself that it was happening because I hadn’t slept with anyone else for a while»
You do your best to explain without getting your words intertwined, but Jungkook’s expression doesn’t change into an angry one, he doesn’t glare at you, doesn’t budge. He just nods, smiles sweetly. 
Love can be blind. It can blind you to the point that you can’t see straight, can’t decipher what’s happening. You were scared, lost. 
«I hurt you so fucking much» you whisper. 
«Maybe it had to happen, for us to be here» he whispers.
«I don’t care about anything,» he strokes your hair «It hurt. But you’re here with me and I just- I just want you close to me» 
His arms hold you just for the sake of it. 
His warmth is intoxicating, the sound of his breath too. You wish you realised sooner, you wish that he didn’t have to hear you in such circumstances cause the pain on his face the next day was unbearable. When he saw you the next morning, all he could think about was you under someone else, your skin against his, your eyes looking at him in the same way you looked at him. The same thoughts that teared him apart for all night long. But now, it doesn’t matter. It was just a step that had to be taken, in a way or another. It was just something that guided you to him, in his arms right now.
Something in the air shifts. All your senses tingle, they scream for him and his touch just the same as Jungkook’s. He wants to have you, the most vulnerable part of you, like no one else ever did. You want his lips and his caresses, his eyes deep into yours.
«Let’s go to bed?» 
His breath catches in his throat.
«I want you closer than this»
The path to your bedroom never felt so good to walk on, with Jungkook’s fingers digging in your hips and his lips on your neck. It’s thrilling, the feeling running through your body. It’s saccharine, sugar coated. Your hands in his hair fit so good, the way you whimper when you stumble cause you can’t see in front of you, how he chuckles on your lips. 
«I want you in my bed,» he breathes on your lips «wanna keep you there all night long» 
Fuck, the way he makes you melt in his arms with just a few words. You nod eagerly,  letting your hands run on his back. Jungkook can’t hold himself back any longer, gripping you by your thighs and kissing your neck, his lips are wet and with the air your skin fills of shivers. His fingers dig into your skin as he moves towards his bedroom. 
«I want you so bad» you whine. 
«Gonna give it to you baby, everything you want» 
The door is shut and Jungkook doesn’t seem to want to let go of holding you as he kisses your lips. It’s too much to ask of him, after loving you for so long. You’re too breathtaking, too perfect.
«Let me» he kisses you again ��open the d-» another kiss. You laugh on his mouth, his giggles fill the air as he keeps pecking your lips. 
«Kook, the door» 
He smiles big, turns around to make you open the door without letting you go. It stays open when he walks inside, doesn’t care at all and just walks to the bed, leans you down on his sheets. 
«Take it off» you mumble. He moans when your hands reach his skin under the shirt, nuzzles his face into your neck. You lift the cloth, Jungkook kisses your clavicle, his lips get as low as your shirt permits, his nose brushes against the swell of your breasts. You pinch his back, giggle when he whines.
«Want you naked» you remind. He laughs and looks into your eyes, totally drunk. 
«You’re so impatient» he sniggers, making you smile and turn. Your cheeks grow red as your eyes look at his nightstand.
«Look at me» 
His fingers reach the hem of his shirt as you turn again, he lifts it more and takes it off from between your legs; the view makes you salivate, his muscles on full display, his brownish nipples getting hard with the cold air.
«Want me to take my pants off too?» 
You want to smack his ass but you refrain yourself, you know he’s just teasing you like always.
«Shut up» you shake your head. His fingers reach the button of his pants, he slides it through the hole, pulls the zipper down. 
«Let me» you sit on the bed. You kiss his neck, let your fingers graze the skin of his chest, your touch makes his cock twitch, hard and swollen in his boxers. You let your hand pass over his navel, down until you reach his dick. 
Your hand lingers on it, Jungkook’s head falling back. 
«Fuck, you’re too much» he moans. 
«Make me so hard by doing nothing» he hisses. Butterflies fill your chest, your hand squeezes him through the cloths and you feel yourself getting wetter as he lets out a rough breath. God, the sounds he makes. They make you want to surrender to him and his pleasure, you feel the need to take him in your mouth as if your life depended on it. His hands go back on your body, fast fingers fist the material of your skirt. 
«You’re too impatient» you mock. He hums a soft giggle looking at you. 
«I am» he admits. Your sneaker in response makes him smile big and he lays his forehead on yours. He looks at you with those eyes, all the stars in the world couldn’t be as bright and magnificent as them and you can’t help but dive deeper and deeper. 
«I want to make love to you, wanna make you feel so good» and it feels so good to be able to say it out loud. To let you know.
You kiss him, really too impatient to hold back any longer. He helps you out of your skirt, takes your shirt off, makes you lay on the bed as he takes his pants and boxers off, his socks too. And fuck, the way he looks. How fucking gorgeous this man is when he’s just standing in front of you with his cock hard and standing proudly, cockhead red and swollen, skin exposed and the tattoos on his arm on full display.
«Fuck, come here» you beg. Jungkook doesn’t let you repeat it twice, his body hovers yours and you open your legs to welcome him. He kisses your right hip, his lips are wet and they tickle your skin, make you squirm under him as he cups your breast from over the bra. 
«Fuck, I love you» he hisses as he looks up at you. You can’t control the beat of your heart, too lost in him and how much youu’ r been missing. You can’t believe it took you so long to finally understand. Your lips part as you stare down at his face, his dark eyes on you. He kisses your stomach with his eyes in yours, the scene makes you so wet that you wrap your legs around him and Jungkook’s cock brushes against your panties. He moans, the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard, his mouth is still on you and the lace of your panties feels so fucking good on the underside of his cock that he shuts his eyes. He can feel your wetness even through them, they are soaked. Fucking hell. Your legs squeeze him more as you look at him, his mouth open and eyebrows pinched together. You lift your hips, to give him some friction. Hic cock twitches against you and you let out a breathy moan that makes him open his eyes. 
«Oh, fuck» he moans. It’s guttural and so fucking sexy. You can’t wait to hear more, you want to make him crazy. 
«Grind against me» you breathe. His cock twitches again, his jaw clenches. He lets you pull him closer with your legs, keep him tight against you until his cock is practically glued to your panties, your pussy totally soaked. His hands cup your breasts and he squeezes them gently while looking at you, your head digs into the pillows, a moan escapes your lips and Jungkook can’t help but do the same. His hips move tentatively, his cock rubs against the lace and the pressure gets to your clit. Your moan makes him whimper, your voice so sweet that it makes him repeat his movements. He can feel the outline of your lips from your panties and it’s fucking killing him.
«Fucking panties» he hisses, somehow making you laugh.
«Mh, what?» he smiles at you, his cock still brushing against your throbbing clit. You bite your lips.
«Nothing, just you» you shake your head. The pleasure is so good. Jungkook keeps smiling as he kisses the tip of your nose.
«Me what?» he asks, his fingers get under the strap of your bra, he pushes it down on your shoulder. 
«Just you,» you smile «I don’t know» 
He’s so fucking happy. 
«Am I funny to you?» he bumps his nose against yours. His movements are slow and controlled, his thighs glued to the back of yours, eyes right deep into yours. He moves his hand under your back, his fingers fumble with the opening of your bra.
«Sometimes» you laugh, cupping his cheek. You kiss him sweetly, Jungkook smiles on your lips as he lifts the bra from your chest, he guides the straps down your shoulders and your arms until he lets it fall on the ground. He pecks your lips once more, finally fondles your breast with his hand. Your nipples are hard and he wants to tease them until you squirm under him. His cock jerks when you moan under him, the pads of his fingers brushing against them. 
«Kook» you whimper. He kisses your neck all the way down to your chest, his lips lock around the pebble of your nipple as he teases the other with his fingers. Your back arches, mouth opens. 
«Feels so good» you breathe. He flicks his tongue repeatedly, sucks lightly as he ruts his cock up and down on your clit. Your legs tremble, he lets go of your nipple and takes the other in his mouth. It feels too good.
«Fuck» 
His hand travels on your stomach, his fingers pass your hip and reach the inside of your tights to caress it softly, tickling your skin until he presses his cock against you with his palm, his cockhead heavy on your clit. You squirm under him as he kisses your neck, his moans fill up your ears as he works his cockhead on it.
«Tell me you’re mine» he nuzzles his face into your skin. His balls are so tight he could cum right now.
«Jungkook, I’m going to-» you can’t even speak, you’re so close your blood is running hot in your veins. The pleasure it’s too much, it keeps building up and you just want to succumb.
«I’m yours» 
«Only for me» he grunts.
He parts his cock from your pussy. You want to ask why but a second later his fingers link around the hem of your panties and he pushes them down onto your thighs and over your knees until they pass your ankles and get lost in the room. The need to take a good look at your wetness stops him from pushing his cock back to where it was. He stares down at your lips, parts them with his fingers and fuck, he wants a taste. Your juices are leaking out from your hole so deliciously that he can’t hold back and gathers them with his thumb. 
«So fucking wet» he praises. 
His lips wrap around his thumb, sucking on it and tasting you, his cock twitches as it stands angrily. You taste so sweet, so delicious for him that he promises himself he’s going to make you cum like this tonight, eat every drop, swallow all your sweetness. And then start all over again.
«Wanna be the only one who gets to taste your beautiful pussy» 
Your hands grab his wrist on your leg as you nod.
«I promise» you whisper.
Jungkook lays on top of you again, he lets his wet thumb brush against your nipple as he his cock parts your lips and slides back between them. Your folds feels so good against him, the sensation makes him bite on his lips as he suppresses a loud moan. Your nails dig into his back as you look at his face, so fucking beautiful. It’s paradoxical how you think he looks like an angel when his cock it’s sliding against you so agonisingly.
«I want you to cum like this» he breathes.
He pushes his cockhead against your clit, rubs it in circular motions and then up and down, from side to side. Your juices mix with his precum, it’s so fucking wet that your juices drip on his sheets. He wants them to smell like you, to remember the way you smell when you’re working and he’s waiting for you at home, wants your juices to fucking claim his sheets. 
«Can you do it? Cum all over my cockhead, baby. Do it for me»
Fuck, how couldn’t you. It’s too much. Especially when he’s asking you like this, looking at you like you’re the essence of his world. 
You nod quickly, your chest raises up and down at a torturing pace and Jungkook can’t take his eyes off of you. He loves you so fucking much, you’re his. Fucking his.
«I’m- fuck, I’m going to cum» 
«Me too, baby. Cum with me?» he sweetly brushes a strand of your hair behind your ear, he kisses your cheek with such tenderness and sincerity and your heart just can’t process it. It explodes in your chest, your legs shake and suddenly you’re whimpering and squeezing your eyes shut, your head digs into his pillows, your walls tighten. Jungkook grunts, pushing all the length of his cock against your folds and wrapping you closer to him in his arms. He cums so hard that his head falls on your chest, his moans muffled against your skin. His cock jerks, his cum wets your stomach and drips down your thighs and onto the sheets, a bit of it on his abdomen and chest too as he lets himself lay on top of you. 
It’s blissful, the way your fingers stroke his hair as he breathes harsly, he feels his heart pound and his insides melt. You stay silent, look at him just laying in your arms. You never felt so light, so free as now. Love can be blind, so blind that something so special had to wait all this time to finally be seen; all these years and your souls intertwined in every way possible, the roots of your plants were always in the same pot. You were so used to his presence and his leaves that you didn’t realise how much soil you shared, how deeply were intertwined your roots, how they held each other up with such tenderness and love. You want to see his flowers, want to share your water with him, you want to bloom and wilt with him, you want it all. 
«I love you» 
You caress his cheek even though you can’t see them, his eyelashes flutter against your chest and he raises his face to look at you, then rests again on top of you.
«I love you too» he answers. A big smile. Starry eyes, rosy cheeks, messy hair, totally love drunk. And you couldn’t love it more. You pinch the apple of his cheeks, he scrunches his nose and pouts his lips. 
You feel attacked, seriously.
«Why are you so cute?» you whine. His giggles fill the room as he gets up. He lays beside you, wraps his arms around you and squeezes.
«I want to spoon you» his fingertips dig into your hips as he kisses your shoulder. You huff contently, turning around. His legs intertwine with yours and Jungkook rests his head in the space between your shoulder and neck, his chest tight against you.
«Are you comfortable?» he pecks your cheek. It’s perfect.
You nod and shut your eyes, lingering in the feeling of the moment. 
«Don’t sleep» he whines, pinches your hip.
«I haven’t finished with you yet» 
«What? I’m tired» you laugh. You really aren’t, but you like to tease him. Your eyes open, head turns slightly to look at his eyebrows furrowing as he frowns. 
«It’s not true» he blubbers. Fuck, how can he look so adorable in such a situation? All naked, tight against you.
«It is,» you pout back «I’m really tired» you fake a yawn. His head falls on the pillow. 
You stay still for a little, then decide that you want to look at his pretty face. He wails as you turn around, clearly not okay with it.
«Let me spoon you at least»
«Wanna look at your pretty face» you puff at him. His body relaxes and when you turn around the view hits you like a truck on a highway. His hair are messy, long strands following sweetly the roundness of his cheek as he stares at you. His eyes are round, doe-like, incredibly profound they capture the light of the room and exhibit it perfectly, stars scattered across their skies. His lips are red, and it’s because of you. You caress his cheek, brush the strands away. He smiles largely, his hand grazes the back of yours and squeezes it, his other one behind your back so sweetly that you melt. 
«You can fall asleep on my chest» he murmurs. You shake your head.
«I was just teasing you,» you giggle «don’t wanna sleep now» 
He huffs, faking annoyance but it’s just really endearment.
You graze his chest with your fingers, tickle him with the nails as you slowly move up and down. His cock is still hard, the tip red. 
«You’re… you’re still hard» you breathe. 
Jungkook looks at you, the way your eyes stare at his cock on his abdomen, a big smile stretching on his lips as his cheeks grow a little reddish.
«Can’t help it baby,» he simply says «it’s what you do to me» 
He doesn’t lead the conversation anywhere else, as if he doesn’t intend to do anything about it, a dreamy sigh leaving his lips. He stares at you in awe, he can’t believe he gets to do this. In his arms, you naked and relaxed, laying down to stay. You don’t get up to leave his mattress and go back to just being friends, close but not close enough, a heartbeat away. Laying with you feels ecstatic. It’s the forbidden fruit, the one he always craved for; the intimacy of it, being in your rawest states and still trusting each other in such a profound way, getting to see each others fully in every way possible, physically, emotionally. 
«Love» you whisper. His big eyes look straight at you, his heart stumbles in his chest. 
«Last time… you called me love»
«I… couldn’t hold back» he shakes his head, nuzzling into you. 
«It felt different from the times before, it was…»
«I was making love to you» he mumbles. The way he clings his chin to the fist of his hand on the pillow right after makes your stomach clench. The silence creates a foggy haze in the room, but you still see each other clearly. He must’ve hurt so much, for so long. You want to make him smile. You want to reassure him, make him feel loved just as he did to you that day. 
«My baby» you whisper, leaving a peck on the tip of his nose. He scrunches it and smiles big at you.
«Let me do the same- » you kiss his lips and although the intention was to go for just a peck Jungkook’s lips keep you attached to him like a magnet «and make you feel good?» 
«Mmph…» he moans as soon as your hand reaches the base of his cock. You feel it twitch, watch it as it gets even harder in your hand. Jungkook gulps, shuffling on the mattress to get comfortable. The view of your pretty little hand around him makes him longing, yearning to have you all over him. He doesn’t even have to wait after cuming already, he knows he could be ready for you right now. And when you stroke him, oh god, the sound he makes… you wish you could record it and play it all over again and again. 
He folds his arms, rests on the back of them to look at the view properly, head up and chest raising roughly.
«Fuck, I love it» he hisses. You lick your lips, get closer to him on your side as you let your hand pull his foreskin back, his cockhead furious and leaking precum already. 
«You like it?» you coo. He looks at you, your lips wet and your eyes gawking at him. You make him powerless just by doing nothing. Your thumb touches his slit.
«Shit, yes» he moans.
«Love it, I love it» 
You smile at him. Jungkook can’t take his eyes off your face and your hand, not even for a second. When you gather his precum and stroke it all over his cockhead he breathes hard and suddenly he craves for a taste of you. His chin points at you, lips pouting as his cock pulses in your hand.
You peck his lips, tighten your hand around him and twist your wrist. He moans loudly, his head falls back. 
«Fuck» he cries. 
«You’re so beautiful» you whisper. 
«Want you to feel so good» 
He nods lazily, his eyes shut. Your hand is… perfect. Just perfect. It makes him thaw under you, for you, until he’s just whining and moaning, totally lost.
«You- nnngh- you do» 
You push his hair behind his ears, you don’t think you’ve ever felt this feeling. This kind of excitement while doing something for someone else, only for him. This part of you is his, tied and bound to his soul.
«All the time» he shivers.
«Every fucking time you- fuck» his moan is high pitched, desperate. He’s losing his mind, it’s too much when you stroke his cock and have your pretty eyes looking at him so sweetly, holding all the love he always wished to get from you. It’s too much, and he just wants to explode.
«Every fucking time, you don’t even realise,» he shakes his head «you- you just, fuck I love you» 
It’s brutal, how he takes your face in his palm and pushes your lips onto his, brutal for your heart. Such a crook.
The kiss is messy, sloppy, totally heedless. He just wants you close, it’s just for the sake of feeling you more, and it makes you so wet you feel your juices drip down your asshole.
«Love you- so fucking much» he whines. You kiss him more, stroke his cock until his balls are tight and Jungkook is squirming on the bed, his sounds creating the perfect melody for your ears, his pleasure skyrocketing until he just knows he has to stop you. 
His hand wraps around yours, stopping your movements. 
«Want you,» he hisses «wanna cum inside you while I feel you close» you couldn’t resist such a plea even if you wanted to. 
You smile at him and nod, your skin is on fire just at the thought of it. Jungkook’s hand tickles your side as it descends on your hip, his digits dig into your skin. He goes to sit up but you stop him with your hand on his chest. 
«Huh?» he hums puzzled, his lips forming an “o” and his eyebrows high.
«Let me» you smile. Fuck, he feels like cuming already.
«Let me take care of you» you whisper. Jungkook hisses as he lays back down, soft strands of hair spread on the pillow and starry eyes look at you while you straddle him. He doesn’t know if you resemble more an angel or the devil himself with your love surrounding him and your dangerous touch, but maybe you’re the collision of both. 
You lay down to kiss his lips, a soft and gentle kiss that makes him yearn even more just because it’s ohso lovely. 
He must’ve been blessed, cause when you let your hips grind against him and he feels the warmth of your core he feels like he’s in heaven. Maybe you’re an angel, most definitely the prettiest of all. 
Your lips feels so fucking good that his cock jerks and he has to hold back himself from cuming.
«Fuck, wait-» he hisses. 
«I don’t think I can- I need to desensitise a bit or I- I’ll cum» 
You stop your movements and lean down to kiss him some more. You caress his cheek, Jungkook’s arm can’t help but keep you close and tight against him. Your soft breasts feel so good against the hardness of his chest, your hair hanging down from the side of your face. His hand squeezes your asscheek and a cheeky grin appears on his face.
«Feels so good to get to do this» he pipes. 
«You used to do that before too» you snigger and he squeezes your flesh once more.
«Only in bed» he laughs. You shake your head and pinch his right nipple lightly, watching as he keens and brings his hand to cover the injured part.
«Why?» he whines with his eyes closed. You lay down and kiss the tip of his nose.
«I get to do this too» you coo. He sighs deeply and glares at you, lips pouty.
«You used to do this before too» he murmurs. You smile at him.
«Not in bed? I should’ve and could’ve but I didn’t. I had to try» 
«Fuck, you’re so annoying» he groans even though a big smile is already stretching on his lips. It’s beautiful how the change of your relationship didn’t change the way you act around each other, the same old habits and teases. 
«Should I kiss it for you?» you laugh. Jungkook peeks at you from his half lidded eyes.
«Do I get to kiss your ass when I’m outside of bed?» 
Your laugh fills the room, the apples of your cheeks full. He pushes you onto him, his hand coming to your face, he kisses your lips, pecks your nose and your cheeks, your forehead too. Silence spread in the air as he pours his love onto you with caresses and little sighs, totally rapturous.
You kiss his neck, his clavicles, his shoulders and his pecs, lick on his nipple. Jungkook squirms under you and a second later you’re… kissing it. He laughs out loud, his giggles are high pitched and he scrunches his nose as he lets his head fall back on the pillow. So fucking cute, you think. You want to keep him in your pocket and never let go.
«Are we ready to go?» you giggle as he still laughs. Jungkook nods, eyes bright. His bangs are messy and you take some time to brush them with your fingers as his chuckles summer down. 
«It’s gonna be messy again, come on» he whines. 
«So impatient,» you sigh «let me make my baby pretty» you coo. Jungkook whines again.
«Please,» he strokes your back «wanna be inside you» 
«Mmh, ‘kay baby» you hum against his lips. You nuzzle your nose into his neck, blow on it just to hear the sound of his humming when he shudders under you as you take a hold of the base of his cock. He’s so hard that you let out a dreamy sigh, totally in love with the feeling of him in your hand. Jungkook’s hips stutter up, his cheeks paint of red when his eyes meet you and you wonder if it’s just the warmth of the room or your effect on him.
Your core brushes against him and he releases a soft yearning hum. You sit up, breast on full sight and eyes on him as you push yourself onto him. It’s so fucking wet and tight and delicious that he doesn’t ever want to leave your pussy. Fuck, he’d spend every second of the day inside you if he could. 
«So tight» he moans. You slowly fill yourself up with him, he grabs your breasts and squeezes them, fumbles your soft flesh as you start to move unrushed. You’re so beautiful on top of him, so pretty. All for him and him only. 
«Talk to me» Jungkook wants to hear your words as you ride him. The position is totally new to the both of you but fuck, it feels perfect. He fills you up so good that your walls pulsate all around him, getting to see him under you with his big dark eyes on your face makes you want to spoil him in all the love he showered you with the last time and even more, you want him to feel totally engulfed by it, from how much you love him. 
«Love it, I love your cock» you moan. You put your weight on your hands on the bed, leaning back a little as his cock hits the perfect spot inside you. Jungkook pinches your nipple, your breasts look so good that he wishes he could kiss your skin. He watches them bounce with every move, feels his cock throb and leak precum inside you. It’s so fucking wet, your juices mixed together and god, the sounds you make could make him crazy.
«How much?» he hisses. You bite your lips.
«So much baby» you whine. His hand reaches your clit, he rubs it gently with his thumb and looks at your face. His heart pounds wildly, you turn him on so much that he has to restrain himself every time. However, now he wants you close and even though he’s loving the way you’re taking him so good, your body is too far for him. 
«Love» he calls out putting both of his hands on your hips and staring up at you. You look down at him, his skin is a bit sweaty and his lips red from all the kisses you shared. Jungkook sits up.
«Want you closer, please» he maffles. 
«Let me open my legs so I can hold you» 
You let his cock pull out, the loss of contact makes you grimace and Jungkook smiles endeared as he pinches your cheek. He opens his thighs, his cock stands proud against his abdomen, so pretty. He guides you onto him, your thighs over his and your pussy back on him. His hands grab the flesh of your ass, his face hides in the crook of your neck and he breathes in your scent as you take him back into your heaven. Like this, he thinks he could die happily. Fuck, so close and perfect. The contact of your skin makes him breathless, the feeling of you all over him, so tight that not a single inch isn’t against him. The way you hug his cock makes his head spin, how you grind your hips into him and dig your nails into his back. Your moans in his ears, he captures every single and makes sure that the next one comes out because you’re feeling even better. He rubs your clit, sucks your nipples, kisses your neck, keeps you close until your sweats mix and all he can do is breathe you in.
«You’re perfect» you whisper. His heart trembles, all the defences he had to put on for all these years without even realising are down on the floor, totally scattered in pieces. They burn into ashes, fire takes over them completely until there’s nothing left but haze, and then there’s you. You on top of him, you under him, you on his lips, you in his mind, just you. You’re everywhere, part of him. 
«I was so stupid-» you hiss as he kisses your cheek «fuck, how could I not see it?» 
His nose nuzzles into your cheek and he pecks your skin repeatedly, his thumb rubbing faster on your clit.
«Ssh, we’re- nngh fuck, we’re here now» he reassures.
«Never wanna leave you,» you mumble «never» 
Jungkook feels like crying suddenly. There’s a knot in his throat that tastes like pain, like all the tears he shed and every night he spent thinking about you. All the worry that he felt when you weren’t with him, the feeling of loveliness without you by his side, the feeling of not being enough to be seen, to be considered as more. It all gets back to him and his eyes burn, his vision becomes foggy, his breath ragged for the pleasure of having you here. 
«Baby,» he whines «feel like crying» his voice trembles. 
You stop your movements, totally focus on him. Jungkook shakes his head though, pushes you onto him more to make you keep going.
«Just make love to me» he whispers. 
«I still can’t- still can’t believe you’re mine» 
«I’m yours» you don’t wait a second more to let it out. You watch him beam with his eyes glossy and can’t help but kiss him. You kiss all of his worries away, every single one. As you make love to him so sweetly, they all melt. He cries, salty tears mix with your kisses, your hands dry them and you kiss the path they walked on. You spoil him with your touch, your caresses, even your breath on his skin. Jungkook can’t even speak properly from the feeling in his chest. 
«I love you, love»
«Fuck, oh god- call me that again» he moans. He lets his head fall back as you keep moving, the expanse of his neck displayed for you. You let your hand trace it and then do the same for his chest, rub his nipples and hear him moan.
«My love» you repeat, breath rough.
«Mine, you’re mine»
«Fuck yes,» he whimpers «yours baby» 
You want to make him cum. You want to see him shake in pleasure and contract his abs, you want everything he can give and more. Your hand travels farther down, Jungkook squeezes your ass again as he feels your touch graze his skin until you get to his balls. They’re wet with your juices, so tight and full of cum for you. He moans loudly, his mouth attaches your neck as you caress them sweetly in your hand. Your touch is so gentle and his cock feels so fucking good, his body feels like levitating from how much you’re giving him. It’s too much to hold back.
«God, you’re- you’re going to make me-» he howls «cum» he shudders.
You kiss him deeply, your tongues in each others mouth and your eyes closed, foreheads touching and hearts glued to each other. 
«Cum for me» you breathe on his lips.
«Cum inside me, show me how you cum for me, love» 
His eyes open, eyebrows furrow as he moans. You kiss him more, spoil him totally. You whisper how much you love him, how good he feels inside you, how beautiful he is. Until it’s fucking unbearable, his cock twitches and all he can do is let go. Jungkook groans, digs his nose into your neck in such a desperate way that you feel your heart being wrapped tightly and squeezed almost to the point that you can’t breathe anymore, his whimpers come out muffled on your skin, his cum filling you up totally as you keep moving on top of him and in his hold. You cum with his moans in you ears as you milk him dry, the room spinning and your legs shaking. You collapse in his arms, feel him sob in your hold. Even when you don’t realise it you kiss his hair, stroke his back as your body feels light and wobbly, totally lost in its high. You cup his cheeks and peck his lips, the mole right under, the one on his nose, his forehead. Jungkook never wants to let go. 
«Cuddles» he murmurs on your neck right after, hiding from the world. You nod lazily, his cock still inside you. 
It’s weird, the roads that love takes and the path it walks onto. It’s odd, how it can blossom without asking for permission, how it grows and spreads, takes over everything it finds on its way. It’s beautiful, how Jungkook clings onto you like you’re love itself and you do the same for him, roots intertwined and shared soil in the same pot, one soul fixed together with pieces of each other, like it’s always been. Since you were sixteen and he was nineteen, for all these years. And for many more to come
Tumblr media
Read more about Closer here: Closer: Too Close (Teaser)
Read my other works here: Masterlist
Taglist: @p-i-e-d-p-i-p-e-r, @kaitlynlovesbm, @bytheinaya, @jub-jub, @taolucha, @minayas1998, @seoulrenebae-blog, @ppeachyttae, @gluk97, @jk97bam, @diorh0seokie, @gwsjungkookie, @moonlikemeh, @skzthinker, @eyssdumpie, @sleepy-sae, @jjkw-7, @singularityjes, @vvicaddiction, @kimchijeonjk @jungkookieeee97
2K notes · View notes
xpeachesncream · 7 months
Text
you to love | lowkey drabble
Tumblr media
you to love // drabble four
↘︎ ft. the lowkey!couple
summary: jungkook misses you while you're away and feels the need to show you when you return.
words: 2.8k
warnings: cussing/mature language, phone sex ouwee 🤪 - mutual masturbation, kissing, slight marking, unprotected sex, praising, quickly edited so pls excuse any mistakes!!
a/n: i whipped this up a year or so ago, but never got around to sharing it! enjoy 💞
Tumblr media
Jungkook lays on his bed, propping up a leg on the bed while his hand rests behind his head. He smiles to himself as he scrolls through your text thread mindlessly, remembering the events that transpired the other night. 
⇥ F L A S H B A C K
The room is dark, space feels empty, bed feels cold. Jungkook sighs as he closes his eyes, phone resting against his wall while he watches you rustle through the sheets to get yourself settled in bed.
"Hm, that's better." You let out a content breath, letting the sheets wrap you tightly as you adjust to the hotel bed.
"You okay, peanut?" He turns to fully face you, head now propped up on the palm of his hand. 
"Just cold. The bed is so.. big and so.. cold." You run your hand around the empty space. "I wish you were here."
"I know, I do too. But you'll be back before the weekend ends. You've had a lot of fun with your mom and aunt so far, right?"
"I am having fun." You chuckled, agreeing with him. "It's been a lot of fun going around town and staying by the beach. Who knew a gem like this was only two hours away?"
"Wanna take me on a date there?" You giggle and nod.
"Sure."
"Cool, it's a date then." 
"I really do miss you, though. I can't wait to see you."
"It hasn't been long, princess."
"Why can't you just say you miss me, too?" You pout.
"You know I miss you." He says softly, a small smile creeping up on the corner of his lips. "I miss you all the time, it's kinda embarrassing to admit."
"No it's not. Stop it." You stare at him for awhile, admiring his beautiful skin, his jawline, his lips, his eyes— the way he's shirtless, the way the sheets drape his waist loosely.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I dunno. You're nice to look at?" You laugh a bit. "Just feel lucky to have you." You smile at him softly, making him smile that cute little bunny smile of his. 
"I feel the same, pretty." 
"I wish you could be here to hold me."
"I'd like that." He smirks a bit, eyes wide and full of curiosity. He watches as you bite your bottom lip, grabbing the phone to give him a new angle to look at. Either way, he always thought you were the prettiest thing he's ever laid eyes on. That had never changed, would never change for him. The moonlight bounces off your skin so flawlessly that yeah, he really fucking wishes he was next to you doing what you wanted him to— whether that was cuddling you, or doing other things. He wanted to give everything to you, the world to you.
"You know what else I'd like?" He's come to learn you had another side to you, one that he's steadily trying to keep up with. Although he was still learning, he loved that he could learn everything from you without feeling scared or shy about it. You were never one to judge him, never one to rush him into things. You always eased him into new territories in your relationship. When he says he truly feels lucky to have you, he means that with every fiber of his being.
He had you to love, and that itself, was the best thing he could ever ask for.
"Hm?" He hums, watchful eyes following your hands. He watches as you sit up a bit, his white tee loosely hanging over your body but he could still make out your shape, can make out the fact that you aren't wearing a bra— which of course you wouldn't be, you're going to sleep, you never wear a goddamn bra to sleep. He can see your nipples poking through, phone propped up against something so that only your lips and everything else from below are in view. "P-peanut, what are you doing?" He clears his throat a bit, boxers already suffocating the hell out of his dick when he sees your hand traveling down to your lace thong. You raise it enough for him to see your fingers slowly trailing down towards your clit.
"Showing you what else I wish you could do."
"Aren't your mom and aunt around?" He freaks out a bit because he's not sure how to handle this? Like, phone sex? Was this real? "Are we really going to do this right now?!" He had so many question marks and exclamation points going off in his head, but who was he to even turn this shit down?
"I'm in my own room, Kook. Relax." You let out a small, breathy moan before biting onto your bottom lip again. He watches you touch yourself through Facetime, dick incredibly [and painfully] rock hard as he watches you give off small twitches from time to time, back slightly arching at the pleasure spreading throughout your entire body. "Wish you could touch me like this right now."
"Feels good?" He asks, licking his dry lips as he continues to watch. This— this probably tops everything he has ever seen and watched [forgive him]. 
"Mmmyeah—" You moan. "Touch yourself for me, babe. I don't wanna do this alone if I can't have you here."
"Y-you sure?"
"About you? More than anything." He lets out a breath, adjusting his phone so that you could see him play along. He feels a little weird, honestly. Guilty in a sense. But, this was a little bit more different for him— you were his girl, his peanut, his princess. He never wanted to do you wrong. He never wanted to make it seem like you were just an object, something to get off to. Because no, you weren't. You were more than that. He adored you in so many ways you probably didn't even know.
"P-princess." He grips onto his member underneath his boxers, still hesitant about pulling it out in full view. What if they heard you two? "Your mom and—"
"No, they can't. My door is locked, they're both asleep on the other side of the suite. Kook, please." You almost whine, and he can hear how wet you're getting through FaceTime alone. He nods, shoving his boxers down just enough for his length to spring free and get some air. "God, I want you so bad."
"Want you too, pretty." He responds shakily, pleasure quickly surging through his veins as he strokes himself and watches you. "Fuck, you look so hot in my shirt." He lets out a small moan, continuing to watch as you pinch your own nipple and grind into your hand. 
"I'm so wet."
"Wish I could feel you." He responds, picking up his pace to keep up with you. Your soft moans through the phone are driving him insane, he almost wants to hop in his car and ruin this girls weekend just so he could be inside of you. But he won't— he'll be good, to an extent. This will do until he sees you. "Wish I could touch you."
"Jungkook." You moan his name, imagining his large, veiny hands caressing your body. 
"Wish I could taste you, too." He was never one to be super open during these times, and you never forced him to be on a certain level if he wasn't comfortable. Yet, he always found his own little way to match you and turn you on like no other. He hums prettily as a follow-up response, letting out another moan himself. 
"I'm gonna cum soon. Are you close?" He nods.
"Yeah, princess." His tip is coated with pre-cum, glistening under the light. He imagines running it through your pussy lips and staying there before he edges himself into you little by little. He hears your breathing hitching, pussy making those slip and slide noises he loves to hear. He hears you pant a bit, watches your chest rise and fall repeatedly while you whimper. Your back arches as your fingers rub endlessly at your clit, making it incredibly hard for Jungkook to hang on until he sees you reach your peak. And it doesn't take long— you reach it rather quickly after this point because he sees your body twitch, followed by repeated curses and pants. He could almost see your pretty pussy pulsating from here.
"Oh fuck, fuck! Oh my god— Kook." You moan a bit loudly, but it still isn't enough to wake up a household. Jungkook continues to pump himself a bit more, watching as you slip your glistening fingers from underneath your thong and into your mouth— that being the exact thing that makes him explode.
God, you were so fucking hot.
"Oh shit—fuck—" He pants and groans, white cum spurting out and landing onto his stomach and abdomen. "Princess, holy shit—" He says, while it's your turn to watch his chest rise and fall, Jungkook adjusting himself in his position as he tries to bring himself back down from his high.
"You're hot." You say with a giggle.
"Says you." He chuckles, still trying to catch his breath. "Shit." He says, grabbing a tissue from his nightstand to clean himself up. "Gross."
"Yeah right." You snort.
"Would rather let this out inside you, you know?" He says nonchalantly as he cleans himself up, making you laugh.
"You're funny."
"Yeah, I mean, how else did I get lucky with you?" You shake your head and smile, adjusting the phone so that your boyfriend could look at your face. You yawn as you settle back into the sheets, the quick session enough to tire you out for the night. "Sleepy?" He catches your yawn.
"Tired now, yeah." He chuckles.
"Go to sleep, peanut. I'll be here." He smiles as he watches you close your eyes, snuggling deeply into the sheets. "I love you."
"I love you, too." You respond sleepily. Jungkook begins to sing softly, knowing it's something you enjoy before drifting off, pulling his nintendo switch towards him so he could play until he felt himself getting tired.
⇥ E N D F L A S H B A C K
He couldn't wait to see you, and honestly, he had been counting down the hours before you would finally text him and tell him you were home. He remembers how pretty you looked touching yourself, how gorgeous you were in nothing but his white tee and that lace thong—
"Woah, what the fuck dude?" Jungkook is startled out of his thoughts when Jimin swings the door open and stands there. He doesn't say anything besides smile shyly, making Jungkook raise his brow while sitting up. "Are you broken?" Jimin chuckles a bit before taking a step further into his room with a big [mischievous] smile.
"Why won't you play another round of Red Dead online with us?"
"Because I'm busy." Kook responds, still laying back on his bed while Jimin eyes him.
"Clearly." He jumps onto his bed and attempts to pinch Kook's nipple. 
"I'll drop kick your ass if you do it." Jimin laughs.
"Just one more mission with the boys." 
"We just finished so many missions an hour ago. We got so much shit done, you can't tell me otherwise."
"One. More." Jimin says at a faint whisper, one finger up in the air as he dramatically pretends to be dying while he waits for Jungkook's approval. Suddenly, Kook's phone vibrates next to him, making the two shoot their eyes over at the device. He picks up his phone, eyes glowing when he sees the beloved, long awaited text come through on his lockscreen:
[peanut] 6:47pm: i'm home, babe! sorry it took me so long, we had dinner before they dropped me off. i have some food for you!
"And I'm off!" Jungkook says, springing off of his bed to grab his keys and wallet.
"Welp, mission aborted." Jimin says, following Jungkook out of the room. "Tell Peanut I said hi."
"Me too!" Hoseok yells from the couch.
"Me three!" Taehyung says, gobbling up his sandwich at the kitchen counter.
"And when the hell did you even get here?" Jungkook points at him as he heads out the door. He loved his friends, everyone knows this. They were his boys, his solid day-ones even though he treated them poorly at one point. They never gave up on him. And don't get him wrong, he loves spending time with them. But a whole weekend away from you felt like eternity, and he couldn't wait to get to you.
Just wanting to hold you, touch you, feel you.
You had offered to drive to his place, but Jungkook insisted on coming by— mainly so he could have you to himself without any other distractions. He could use the private time with you, even if that meant kissing you until the clock hits midnight;
Even if that meant rounds of whispering sweet nothings against your skin while he showed you just how much he missed you.
Even if that meant simply holding you in his arms and singing you to sleep.
Luckily for Jungkook, he gets to do all of the above.
“Kook!” You excitedly say when Jungkook walks through the door. Just as you wrap your arms around his neck, Jungkook pulls you into a deep kiss— carrying you and wrapping your legs around his waist. You squeal into the kiss, feeling Jungkook’s large hands grip your ass and press you flush against him. “Kook, what’s gotten into you?” You giggle when he pulls away and smirks, gently placing you at the edge of your bed.
“Just missed you.” He says, helping shed off your clothes rather quickly. “Missed you so much, peanut.”
“Did you now?” You tease just before he locks his lips with yours for another deep kiss.
“Always. Think it’s my turn to show you just how much I missed you. If that’s alright with you?”
“Wouldn’t want it any other way.” You respond with a sweet smile. He continues to kiss you, tongues fighting for dominance while he sheds off his own clothes in between. He wastes no time lining himself up at your entrance while he keeps you steady on the edge of the bed and he inches himself in— easily gliding inside of you with the help of your slickness coating him. The sight itself makes Jungkook let out a breathy moan, shutting his eyes to keep himself together.
Though, it’s easy to remember the call and just how goddamn beautiful you looked through the phone screen; touching yourself, feeling yourself, imagining Jungkook doing the things he’s about to do to you right at this moment.
Jungkook lowers his body enough so that you feel his warmth against yours, hand tangled in your hair as he whispers how pretty you are against your neck— gently nipping and sucking at the surface in between praises. He quickens his pace when he hears your moans get a little louder, grip on his biceps a little stronger. His movements are getting sloppier, especially when he feels your walls squeeze him; signaling that you’re only moments away from reaching your peak.
“Jungkook—” You pant, hips matching his movements to feel more friction, to feel more of him. “Close, babe. Close—” You respond in between pants, not able to concentrate on your thoughts as you feel yourself spiraling.
“That’s it, pretty.” He coos, hitting all your spots deeply. It takes a few more thrusts before you finally unravel and writhe underneath him— face contorting in pleasure, a silent moan leaving your lips. “Fuck. You’re so good to me.” Jungkook says, letting himself go. His head falls to your shoulder as he paints your walls, letting out small groans against your skin. You let out a few more whimpers, sensitive from the orgasm that rippled through your body seconds ago. “So perfect.” He murmurs as he raises his head and looks at you. He brushes the hair out of your face, planting sweet kisses on your forehead. Nose. Lips. “Really missed you, peanut.”
“Missed you too, Kook.” You smile, giving him one last peck on the lips before he pushes himself off and begins to clean you up.
Once you’ve both gotten cleaned and freshened up, Jungkook helps himself to some of the food you brought home for him, while you lay in bed binging one of your favorite dramas. You feel the exhaustion from the trip hit you even though it isn’t too late in the evening yet, your body hoping to catch up on some sleep and make up for all the adventures you’ve done with your mom and aunt. Jungkook can tell, too. He knows you’re tired, and he doesn’t mind it one bit. He slips in next to you and throws on a show to watch, knowing he’ll be up for a few more hours before he finds himself feeling sleepy. He pulls you close and lets you snuggle against him— finally ending the night with you in his arms while he sings you to sleep.
He smiles when he hears your soft snores, brushing your hair as he continues to hum softly.
He had you to love, and that itself, was the best thing he could ever ask for.
Tumblr media
permanent taglist: @spideyjimin @miinoongi @thebeebi @ggukkieland @bluesharksandfish @unicornbabylover @preciouschimine @codeinebelle @shesoldbutcute @jikookiekosmos @awhnamjoon @namjooningelsewhere @bunnybearrj @babycoffeefire @bri-mal @sintaethick @taejkjoons @love2luvya-blog @pb-n-juju @dianaxnyc @fan-ati--c @jungjoonie @jcsmae @ppeachyttae @awseokjin @jjk1iscoming @moonchild1 @vantxx95 @knjeuphoria @jksjx @oogawooga222 @yoonqki @halesandy @chimchimmarie @chimsworldsstuff (so sorry if the perm taglist isnt updated!)
571 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
Okay anyone have any member ship fic recommendations like this?
Literally begging for a dominant mafia taehyung x bratty but submissive Jungkook recommendation.
Im really looking for a good series!!
584 notes · View notes
corajjk · 10 months
Text
in dreams
Tumblr media
genre. strangers to lovers? time travel au. angst. fluff.
pairing. jungkook x reader
summary. in her dreams, she sees the familiar face of a man she’s met before at the same train station. both have never spoken a word but he looks at her like he knows her. she’s afraid she’s falling in a never-ending maze of unrequited love. only if she knew she was completely wrong.
warnings. the smallest tint of smut (it’s barely there). suicidal thoughts. suicide. main character death. explicit language. & much more that will be added later.
note. this isn’t really a teaser, it’s more of an introduction to my drabble collection. i don’t really know what i’m doing but i have always wanted to write about time travel. i think starting with drabbles will help me work my way up to actually writing oneshots about it. 
release date. tbd
☆ this is an introduction to a drabble collection. if interested, please comment to be part of the taglist for this story. 
Tumblr media
All rights reserved © corajjk. Do not repost, translate, or do any sort of modifying and reuploading of this story on any platform.
Tumblr media
Dreadful how a couple nights ago she couldn’t sleep no matter how hard she tried to keep her eyes shut. She tried desperately to lull herself into deep sleep. Though it proved to be a challenge when she kept reminiscing about the warm summer days spent with her lover.
Loneliness bared a troubled mind in her when she wasn’t thinking of him. He was almost a kind of cure for her. Others would have disagreed and claimed he wasn’t in any way a healing hand. No, he was a drug. 
Now she felt that the sun had replaced the moon in the sky. Her eyes were brought up to stare at the harmful light of the lonely star. Without any warning, someone came behind her and wrapped their arms around her waist. The scent of vanilla made itself present in the air.
“Jungkook.”
It was barely a whisper. 
Summer days. Traveling hand in hand, searching for a promise of love. Certain it would never fade away. Walking through fields of fruit and life. Their smiles and shared looks found a place in each other's hearts. Settled near a river, drinking away their remaining sorrows. Enjoying the fullness of cherries and wine. 
Kissing and making love.
To be separated from such a man, god that sounded like a crime. Visible to the eye was the look of desire. Though it wasn’t lust. It was pure love and a tint of passion. Surrounded by the wind when the sun set. All she could think was that only heaven tasted as good as him. 
Nights wrapped in warm embraces. Honey paired with lips that kissed so deeply, they cut right through her bliss. Touches that sent shivers down her spine. Unforgettable was to feel his every emotion through his hips that moved to the sound of her need.
Now she must have recognized this was all a dream. In reality, his very being was never tangible. She never got to hold him or love the way she wanted. She’d remember his face, the looks he’d give her.
Though that was all. Nothing else was given to satiate her hunger for him. For him to show her what it meant to be loved. To be touched, to be known in ways only another person could understand. 
In dreams. Only in dreams.
Tumblr media
124 notes · View notes
blushedarmybunny · 1 year
Text
Butterfly Effect || Jeon Jungkook x fem Reader
Tumblr media
♡ Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x fem reader
♡ Word count: 10.2k
♡ Genre: Angst (m), different timelines travel, fluff.
♡ summary:
There is Yn who thought that she had her shit together until there’s a dead body in her boyfriend’s basement.
Everything crumbled in a second, but wait…ummm Why she is back when she met Jungkook a year before this happened? Is time travel a real thing?
Oh so we are changing strategies now: let’s be a total b.i.t.c.h, that way Jungkook the serial killer would be as far as possible from yn, right?
Or maybe is this her chance to save the victim before Jungkook can commit that terrible crime?
Yn did not expect to drag herself into the infinite possible timelines that the fabric of the universe has, in between her adventure she might change more lives than her own.
♡ a/n: I’m working hard on part 2 to deliver as soon as possible, the plot is set I just have to write them down, I really hope you enjoy this 2 part story as much I did, for 2023 I have so many projects I can’t wait for you to read them! ilysm💗 also I don’t recommend minors to read this story since it contains adult themes.
read part 2 here
A dead corpse of a young woman laid on the cold floor, the whole room was freezing in fact, so much that Yn hair was blowing around thanks to the strong AC in front of her.
And she froze in the spot, all her blood went to her feet, she felt her heart skipping a few beats while a second after her heartbeats went painfully fast.
All her weight suddenly was too much for her legs that started shaking.
The woman looked young enough to be her age, her throat sliced open the blood pool besides her was no longer bright red, it looked dark enough to be almost brown.
The blueish and purple marks in her arms indicated struggle.
But it was her eyes more than the open wound what would give Yn nightmares for the rest of her life.
Her eyes had this dead stare that made the gore scene even more grim, whoever this woman was she was murdered looking straight to her killer’s eyes while he sliced her throat.
Yn felt like she was going to throw up suddenly, she wasn’t supposed to be here, she just fond this secret door and the curiosity got the best of her.
She was now in front of a crime scene.
Yn’s senses came all at once, her survival instinct screaming at her to get out as soon as possible. So she fought with her nausea and shaking body and made her way out.
She started to think all sorts of things, the questions flood her head like a hurricane.
How long she stood there? Does she look too shock? Could she pretend good enough that she did not find a corpse?
She made her way back blinking and trying to act like she saw nothing, her life depended on it, because as long as she stayed there, she was in as much in danger as the dead woman in the secret room.
“Sweetheart? What is taking you so long?” the voice of her boyfriend Jungkook on the living room made an echo through her entire body.
She had to answer, otherwise it would be too suspicious.
She took a breath and prepare herself hoping her mouth can make a sound
“Coming!” she said with a shaky voice. She did not mean to come out shaky but she couldn’t help it.
Will he notice? Will he come after her too?
The risk was too high, her instinct palpitating in her chest telling her that she must find an escape route.
The kitchen door is fairly near, she could try and sneak herself to the kitchen and scape.
So, she did, soon at the kitchen door she heard him said:
“Yn, baby?” Jungkook’s voice was too near, she needed to go out now.
Yn was running as fast as she could through the streets, people staring at the crazy foreigner. She knew there was a police station nearby, it was the only way!
When she enters the police station she is gasping for air, everyone turned to her concerned.
Everything hits her at that moment so she crumbles, sobbing uncontrollably as the words struggle to come out. She tries to explains herself the better that the tears and sobbing let her, but sentences don’t make quite sense, only the words are the things that can be understood.
Girl. Murder. Basement. Blood. Help.
And in the middle of the tragedy, the door slams open and an equally out of air Jungkook arrives to the scene. He ran the same distance as you but he recovered quite fast without a drop of sweat.
“I’m so sorry, it’s my fault, sir” Jungkook said bowing to the cop, the police man looked at him and then at the exalted foreigner and directed himself to Jungkook.
“What happened?” the police officer asked. Yn felt the need to calm herself down so she can be taken seriously.
“It’s him, officer, he is the killer!” you exclaimed, making both look at you, Jungkook’s eyes were like never before, it was like he had a demon inside very contrasting as the usual sweet and considerate boyfriend that he was.
“I’m deeply sorry, she is sick” Jungkook said to the officer “She didn’t take her medicine in the morning, sir” and then out of his pocket he took out some pills, your eyes widen while you connected the dots. “She has to take 2 of these, otherwise she will start getting violent, sir” he severed putting a concerned façade.
“Liar, you are a liar!” you screamed at him, a few tears running down your face.
“Call an ambulance now” the officer instructed to the secretary. You shook your head.
“Please arrest him, he is a killer!” you exclaimed but by the way he looked at you, you knew that he did not believe you, that you were crazy.
“She needs her pills, sir” Jungkook insisted to the officer.
“Don’t go fucking near me, do you hear me?! Don’t you dare to come closer, sick fuck” you spitted at him, the officer put himself between you two.
“Back off boy, let the doctors take care of this” the officer insisted, you notice the irritated expression in Jungkook’s face.
“Then I’ll wait right here, sir, I can’t leave her by herself” he seated nearby.
Soon the ambulance arrived and the paramedics were all over you, you repeated over and over that you were not sick that you refuse to go anywhere, but they took your arm and forcefully sedated you, the last thing you saw was Jungkook’s getting inside the ambulance.
You woke up feeling groggy and disoriented, a voice calling your name, a voice that you did not recognize.
“Yn-ssi, can you hear me?” as you opened your eyes you looked at your surroundings, it was a hospital, and the man calling your name was the doctor.
“Can you hear me, Yn-ssi?” He asked again, you could only nod with your head. ”Good, I’m Dr. Choi Hyunsuk, you must feel drowsy and soon you will have a strong head ache, but don’t worry we gave you some medic-“ he stopped himself when heard an alarm going off.
“Code 331, Code 331, overdose in emergency room, calling all doctors”
Someone was dying somewhere, so the doctor quickly went to attend the emergency.
you could sense that Jungkook was near and you did not want to stay a second longer but your head ache was making everything worse.
You felt even more drowsy and slow and questioned when the supposed medicine would take effect on you, then suddenly Jungkook made his way to your side, in horror but unable to move or speak you watch closely how Jungkook’s hand put away the hair off your face, his hand soft but cold, his expression look like usual Jungkook, your sweet boy, but now that image was shattered, the scene turned into a horror movie. You started to sweat you mind was everywhere and you simply could not do anything about it.
He put your shoes on, as he made you stand, you were like a zombie following his instructions, and then he took you out of the hospital without anybody’s suspicion.
He called a taxi and put you inside. When the vehicle started moving you started to feel ten times worse, your chest starting to ache, your consciousness starting to slip.
Jungkook turn to you with a confuse look in his eyes, and then everything felt like it was in slow motion.
You blinked a few times, feeling in great peace, while you felt less and less pain and could only feel like you were safe, completely unaware of your surroundings. The hysterical sobs of Jungkook while he pulls you close to his chest, the neurotic screams of the taxi driver doing a risky turn to hospital at great speed, no, you were no aware of all of that, you can only feel good and safe, and soon the irresistible urge of closing your eyes, in a blink of a moment you blissfully disappeared from reality.
…..
And then you woke up.
You woke up in an empty classroom.
The noon hot sunrays showered your face with some warm, a few drops of sweat running down from your temples. You slowly got up and scanned the whole room with your eyes. It was just your collage, and this was the classroom that is always empty so you sneak yourself in sometimes and took naps.
But what you were doing there? The last moments of your memory were blurry but you did vividly remember those whole traumatic events. The corpse, the police station, the hospital…Jungkook.
yn could feel herself dying, that sole memory made her gasp.
If she is not dead how the hell she ended up in this classroom?
Yn got up and walk out of the room going straight to the bathroom to refresh her sweaty face.
Then yn saw herself in the mirror and felt confused immediately.
Why her hair was light brown? She did not bleach her hair in a year. For what is worth, she looked exactly like a year ago, the clothes, the hair style, everything.
She had to sit on the floor since her legs no longer support her when she finally realized what was going on.
Maybe she has gone back in time!
She almost torn her cellphone to pieces taking it out of the purse and looking for the date.
Oh.my.god.
It can certainly sound impossible, it can actually be impossible and she is just hallucinating all of this, but then why everything feels so real?
Is the universe giving her another chance to live? To make better decisions? A year ago she did not met Jungkook yet, is that a signal?
She felt her mind running a thousand miles per hour trying to find logical explanation of what happened to her actually. But eventually she stopped and just accepted the fact that she is just a lucky bitch and an error or a 1 in the millionth possibility happened to her.
Lesson learned! Watch out for killers! Live your live to the fullest! all that jazz.
Yn got up and started doing a happy dance.
Life is amazing, isn’t it?
She felt going for an ice cream as soon as possible, with double, no, triple sprinkles and a goddamn cheesecake on the side!
Yn walked through the halls like nobody could stopped her, she was smiling like an idiot and feeling the excitement bubbling up in her system.
She made her way out of the classroom building and walked through the campus, the summer days made everything better, the weather was amazing. Soon she found herself in the dining hall and bought her well-deserved ice cream.
While she ate her ice cream, she stopped herself in the middle of the campus, she saw a squirrel.
Was she so distracted and busy that she did not notice before the cute squirrels in the trees? Yn felt the need to appreciate the little things in life, so she closed her eyes for a second to hear the birds sing. Oh what a beautiful melody!
But then someone passing by hit her shoulder making her open her eyes immediately and drop her ice cream. Her ice cream was on the ground rapidly melting in the hot summer day she looked at the guilty pair of shoes and as soon as she looked at his face, she felt taken aback.
The worried lost puppy eyes of Jeon Jungkook started at her.
“I’m so sorry” he said fast and bowed, there he was right before you, who would have thought what he was capable off? He looked helpless now but life has given you another chance and you would not fall for it again!
So have to stay as far as you could from Jeon Jungkook if you want a happy and long life.
If that means you have to be a bitch so, be it.
“Better watch where you fucking walk” you told him in a cold tone composing yourself and starting to walk, for a millisecond you saw that expression that he made when he was hurt, but now you could not care any less.
“I..i can buy another ice cream, please let me!” he said walking slightly behind you, why he was following you?
You turned slightly to watch his helpless act once again, you rolled your eyes and said: “Why don’t you piss off already!” you turned and walk away this time he did not followed you. Thank god.
yn was never like this but her survival instinct was far stronger than her politeness.
yn had lived a year in advance, isn’t that wonderful?
She can ace her exams, avoid stupid mistakes, say yes to meeting her mom’s new boyfriend that turns out to be rich!
The possibilities are incredible! The only thing she has to do now is sit and watch, so that’s what is going to do.
……….
A couple days later as walks to her class, in the distance she can’t fail to notice Jungkook walking besides someone, when yn finally recognize the person beside him she has to cover her mouth at the shock.
Jungkook was talking with the girl from the basement.
Her heart dropped knowing what will be the destiny of the girl.
She looked so lively and bubbly, in yn’s mind she contrasted that with her dead corpse, and she almost wanted to throw up.
As soon as they came too close, yn hide behind a nearby building, the guilt started to build up in her chest, she had a second chance but the other girl doesn’t? one thing is for sure, if she doesn’t stop her from associating with Jungkook the girl will be dead.
She has to warn her too!
Maybe the universe sent her here with a mission, she has to save the girl’s life.
Though still terrified yn promised herself to be brave and make the best choice with her second chance in life.
First, she has found out who she is.
That same night after hours of looking around in social media she found her: Min Hajoon.
She did not have too much photos or anything that could help yn to figure out how she was going to approach and make Hajoon trust her.
Yn look at the only photo of Jungkook and Hajoon had together, they were with other people in a restaurant smiling at the camera. That doesn’t give Yn too much clues on how close they actually are.
Suddenly her phone showed her a KakaoTalk notification, the number was not registered but she remembered that it was Jungkook’s.
Xx: Hello, I’m sorry to bother you, I’m Jeon Jungkook. I don’t know if you remember me but I accidentally made you drop your ice cream on the campus.
You scrunched your features and wondered if you should just ignore his texts, but maybe you can take this opportunity to really make him understand that he has to leave you alone once and for all.
You: Oh yes, I do remember you unfortunately, wasn’t I clear when I told you to fuck off?
You: are you retarded or something? lol
Jungkook: I just wanted to clarify that it was just an accident, that’s all.
Jungkook: Wow where is all this aggressivity coming from?
Jungkook: I’m sorry? Like I can buy another ice cream if you are so upset
You: gosh you are so annoying
You: understand this: leave me the fuck alone
Jungkook: is this a foreigner thing?
Yn raised an eyebrow
You: the fuck do you mean by that?
Jungkook: I just don’t understand why are you being so rude with me over an ice cream, doesn’t make any sense
You: because it’s not the fucking ice cream, it’s you, you annoy the hell out of me.
You: and since you clearly don’t understand, I will just simply block you so I don’t have to talk to you ever again
Yn pressed a few buttons and block Jungkook’s number, she had to be extra shitty so he could be put off by her attitude, that’s the only way he can stay away from her.
But the universe really is ironic and seems to like playing with yn in their own way, when the next day Yn enters 20 minutes early to the classroom as it was her routine with this particular class and minutes later a well-dressed and good smelling Jungkook walk towards her, making her flinch instantly, he was holding two iced coffees, when he got to you he put one on your side, and before you could open your mouth to protest he bowed at you.
You almost gasped.
“I’m sorry, Yn-ssi, if I ever offend you, it was not my intention, I hope we can get along well from now on” Jungkook said after bowing and with a firm tone, his big dark eyes staring at yours.
Panic filled your veins, you did not expect or imagined this to happen. How he wasn’t put off by your words? Your attitude? And the most important question: how to react to this confrontation? Like you would look like a crazy bitch if you still hold a grudge, the ice cream was a too weak of a excuse to keep treating him badly, maybe you should go after another strategy, maybe politely rejecting him would work best.
“How do you know my name?” you questioned neutral, which was a real concern for you. You did not recall any circumstance where your name was mention. He lowered his gaze and then said:
“I found your social media, so i…”
“That’s incredibly creepy” you interrupted him, you said it as if you didn’t do the same to find Hajoon, he seemed a little affected by that statement, his eyes started looking other places.
“I didn’t mean to be creepy, I just…”
“And by the way I don’t drink coffee” you interrupted again putting away the coffee from you, he was startled and seemed nervous at your coldness, what else can go wrong? He thought, everything he did you took it the wrong way.
“I did not know that, I’m sorry, maybe I can buy you something else that you might like?” he said again trying to get to yn, but the girl had the same indecipherable expression.
“What about this, Jungkook: we just stop addressing each other existence and that’s it” you said with a monotonous voice his eyes expanded “I can’t be more clear than that” you ended.
He seemed conflicted as he looked at you.
“I just don’t understand, what I did to you that hate me so much!?” he exclaimed frustrated, in that moment some students entered the classroom and looked your way, Jungkook took the coffees and left without saying a word or looking back, you relaxed in your seat, it was hard to be tough with the boy you used to call your boyfriend because he showed you how sweet and considered he can be, it was hard to hurt him but it was the only way you can save yourself.
After class Yn needed to pee, so she quickly went to the washroom, when she came out of the toilet there wasn’t  anyone there, except one person: Min Hajoon. The door was locked too, yn felt strange, what was happening?
Hajoon got closer to Yn, but as soon as Yn tries to speak she is silenced by the dry sound of Hajoon palm sweeping her cheek with a quick movement, the burning sensation that came immediately after made Yn put her hand on the reddened area.
“Pay attention to me, whore, stay away from my boyfriend, I’m not afraid to smack your ugly face if you keep getting involved in my relationship with Jungkook, you got it?” Hajoon said with a restless face, she was actually scary, a very different image from the pitiful murder victim that Yn remembered, the memory actually brought tears to her eyes.
“Are you crying?, how pathetic” Hajoon remarked cruelly, you looked at her and spoke sincerely. Her opportunity to warn Hajoon was right there.
“Please you don’t know who you are involved with” you said to her trying to control your tears.
“What did you say, bitch?” she spitted grabbing your hair you squealed out of pain.
“Jungkook is dangerous, Hajoon, he can hurt you, please believe me” you said fighting with the tears and the pain. “He is faking, trying to get close with you, he is capable of very horrible things!” you threw yourself to the ground, trying to beg her to listen “ please you have to believe me, Hajoon, promise me that you would get away from him!”
Hajoon was too overwhelmed to speak properly, why this girl was saying all this to her? Who is that girl? Why seems that the girl knows something that she doesn’t?
“You are truly crazy” Hajoon mumbled before storming out of the washroom. Yn stayed there a few minutes more trying to calm down and hoping Hajoon is spook enough to stay away from Jungkook.
…..
Things only got worse when the next day she was cited at the student administration office. She never had to go there ever before as she was an excellent student and never got in trouble with a professor. So, she was very confused when president of the student administration and counseling Park Chanyeol explained to Yn with a rehearsed polite smile:
“We normally never have situations like these, especially with foreigner students, like ever” Chanyeol said “So I assumed that it must be a misunderstanding of some sort, we try our best to keep things positive around here” he remarked looking at your still confused face, he handed you a document “Like I’m sure it must be extra hard for you studying here in Korea, I have cousins studying abroad and they always tell me it’s not easy” he kept talking in fast speed, you still trying to catch up what he was saying and nodding every few seconds. “Maybe you did offend someone? But like, I’m sure it was totally unintentional, like a complete mistake, you seem like a really nice girl” he kept saying without giving you any chance to reply “do you have a boyfriend by the way?” he asked but before you could reply he started talking again “Don’t think I’m flirting with you, like I’m just asking casually you know?” Chanyeol added giving you a look “I actually have a girlfriend myself, her name it’s Minjun, I was asking if you had a partner so maybe you could go out with us, you know, like a couple date or something?” he laughed shortly before he finally shut up.
“Um… excuse me, what am I here for?” you asked him lost at his ocean of words he just said earlier, he blinked a few times before smiling again and pointing the document at your hands that you completely forgot about in the middle of his speech.
“A student came earlier and put a complain on you, but you know as I mention it’s more likely that it was misunder…” Chanyeol started to say before he was interrupted by you.
“Who was it?” you asked him reading quickly the document “This is not a simple complain this is for bullying and harassment!” you exclaimed shocked.
“Jeon Jungkook, I’m afraid” Chanyeol said, you wanted to rip the document apart as soon as you heard his name “But as I said, I don’t actually belief that we have a case here”
“A case?” you asked raising an eyebrow.
“Well the protocol says…” Chanyeol starts saying “We must review the case in our next assembly and discuss the course of actions dictated in our regulation issued by the University”
“Don’t beat around the bush, what are you going to do with me if you find me guilty?” you said to him firm, he looked the other way trying to avoid confrontation.
“Guilty? Hey c’mon now! This is no criminal trial” he laughed nervously “Look why don’t you talk to Jungkook-ssi ? the misunderstanding can be clear up and it will be like we didn’t have this conversation at all!” Chanyeol insisted still avoiding to look at you.
“What could happen?” you asked again, this time Chanyeol look at you serious, no fake smile on sight, then he sighted.
“The school could expel you” he finally said but he quickly came back to his charismatic persona “Hey, don’t have that look on your face, that’s like the worst of the worst, okay? I’m just obligated to tell you the “penalty” “he said marking with his fingers “like by the book, yeah expulsion, but I’m super duper sure that that would not be your case, okay? Don’t be sad!” he exclaimed fixing his glasses “just talk to Jung…”
“Jungkook, okay, so my best option is to ask him to retire the complaint?” you ask annoyed already.
“Well I’m sure that would resolve this way more quickly, don’t you agree?” Chanyeol suggested, a few seconds later his phone ringed “Alrighty, I really need to take this call, so you can come over anytime if you need anything else, my number is on the back of document, okay?” he didn’t let you answer when he already picked up the call and left the room.
You closed your eyes and screamed internally trying to not lose it in public. How he dared? You were beyond mad at this point, it seemed like the more you tried to push Jungkook away, the circumstances pulled you together once again, it was so frustrating!
You pull your phone out of your purse and look for Jungkook’s number on the list of contacts and unblocked him , but before you could press his name you stopped yourself from calling him, no, this is exactly what he wanted you to do, plus you haven’t really bully him, he was the one harassing you! How he fucking dare?!
You stormed out of the office and started walking towards the dinning hall you needed a strong coffee to calm your nerves.
You sipped the black steaming liquid closing your eyes but a voice interrupted your calm.
“You said you didn’t like coffee” Jungkook’s voice made Yn open her eyes in alarm, once she saw him as handsome as ever, she rolled her eyes when she recognized her own thoughts, though Jungkook perceived that as another micro aggression.
“Whatever, what do you want?” you asked him annoyed, a head ache starting to appear.
“I though that maybe you wanted to talk to me” he suggested sitting right in front of you, both knowing what he was referring to.
“Yeah, you thought wrong” you said to him ruthless, Jungkook raised an eyebrow.
“You keep being stubborn I see” he said with this playful expression “You are risking being expel just to piss me off, that’s dedication” he smiled, that bunny smile that melt your heart so many times before.
“And what was that for? Bullying? Fucking harassment? Boy you have the nerve to accuse me of harassment, simply absurd, c’mon!” you spitted sipping your coffee that was sadly gotten cold, another thing that ruined your day.
“You are always swearing whenever we talk, you are so pretty to do that, you always catch me by surprise, you know?” Jungkook said still with the playful expression on his face, he wanted to tease you.
“Retire the complaint” you demanded; he left out a chuckle.
“No”
“Why?”
“You could ask that more nicely” He looked at you entertained, you wanted to scream at his face that he can fuck off but that would not be so helpful at your situation.
“Can you please, Jungkookie oppa, retire the complaint, that would make me so happy, pretty please?” you scoffed with a whiny tone and putting your hands together, he let out a nervous laugh, you made him nervous, that’s when you remembered that he secretly likes being call oppa and you also used to call him Jungkookie, which he melt in an instant when you did, though unintentional you ignited something in him, he tried to dissimulate the pink tone of his cheeks but you did notice.
“I hate to say no when you ask me like this, but I have to say no” he said after a few seconds.
“Then go away, you keep pestering me” you said annoyed “Whatever you want to blackmail me with, please save your time, I will simply say no”
“I don’t not want to see you expelled, Yn, I really don’t” he said “So I have a proposition for you, let’s know each other better and have a decent conversation, I’ll take you out to eat, we’ll talk, we’ll drink and know more about one another, you will know my true nature and see that even after our rough first encounter we are actually not that different, if after that you don’t want to talk to me again that’s fine” he ended looking directly at your eyes, you sighted.
“And you retire the complaint either way?” you asked him raising an eyebrow
“And I will retire the complaint, you have my word”
“I’ll think about it” you responded he wanted to protest but before he could speak you said “I’ll text you, okay?” you stood up from the table and left him there, Jungkook blinked a few times watching you leave the dining hall as fast as your feet let you.
……………….
You: Are you available?  It’s Yn from earlier.
You texted Chanyeol the student administration president, he texted back in seconds
Chanyeol: not right now, maybe for dinner time?
Chanyeol: so much woooork, right?
You: works for me
Chanyeol: so I pick you up then?
Chanyeol: u like jajangmyeon?
You: you mean off campus?
You: yeah sure.
Chanyeol: yeah I go all the time
Chanyeol: great, pass me your direction and I see ya later 😉
While you both ate, at the restaurant he truly did not know when to stop talking, when Chanyeol was not slurping his noodles, he was serving you and him more soju or he was talking, he wasn’t worried about you replaying he was more than fine with the fact that you were there to listen all his crap.
“Okay, listen” you said interrupting him if you didn’t say what you came to say you would end up drunk and too sleepy to remember the purpose of this dinner “I wanted to talk with you because of the whole bullying accusation bullshit” Chanyeol nodded while filling his and your glass with more alcohol.
“To be honest I don’t even really know the guy, I had maybe two real interactions that lasted less than 5 minutes, that doesn’t disprove his accusations towards me?” you asked drinking the glass that Chanyeol served you, the alcohol already making effect on your body.
“Well it’s not that simple, you know, we have to follow the protocols” Chanyeol added drinking his.
“Fuck the protocols, doesn’t this type of shit make the school look bad? The less bullying accusations the better?” you replied trying to convince him, he shook his head smiling.
“That’s not how it works, honey” he said to you, you wanted to call him out for calling you honey, but you needed him on your side.
“You said that I was a good girl” good girl? why did you said that? Maybe you drank too much and started speaking nonsense, Chanyeol smiled at you.
“You are a good girl, honey, I know you are but I can’t just ignore a complaint, I’ll vouch for you in the assembly, okay?” Chanyeol said almost pouting, you wanted to roll your eyes, that won’t do.
“Why can’t you say to that idiot that the assembly already did all that and that I’m innocent? Will somebody really notice?” you suggested almost whining, how much it would take to convince this dude.
“That means making some documents up, I could get in trouble” Chanyeol pressured
“Oh c’mon, what else I can do, can you just do me a favor? I can’t reason with Jeon Jungkook he is totally psycho” you told him whining some more.
“What can you do to convince me? Maybe you could worth the trouble if you are persuasive enough” Chanyeol said suggestively and you suddenly encounter yourself into a corner.
Help.help.help
Hell you were able to do a lot of things to get yourself out of trouble, but you didn’t think sleeping with Chanyeol the president of the student administration, worth it.
Then as if the guardian angels existed, your phone ringed, unfortunately it was Jungkook.
“Look Chanyeol oppa, he is the one harassing me!” you whined to him trying to desperately convince him.
You accepted the call.
“Why are you calling me?” you tried to control yourself but your voice sounded drunk.
“Where are you? Are you drunk?” Jungkook asked on the other side, if you weren’t drunk enough you could say he was even worried.
“You know, you call me on a damn good time, I’m trying to fix this mess you brought me into” you say to him in a demanding way.
“What does that even mean? Listen Yn I will pick you up wherever you are, pass me your location” Jungkook said to you serious.
“It means I’m here with Chanyeol oppa, say hi oppa” you instructed Chanyeol that was laughing besides you drunk as well, he took the phone and said:
“You are so messed up dude, Yn is a very good girl, right?”
“Yeah” you said in the background
“How can you lie about her, dude? She is so pretty, aren’t you?” Chanyeol was chuckling between words and pass you the phone again.
“You heard him, he believes me so your damn blackmail did not work on me” you said to Jungkook in a defiant way you could hear him sighting loudly.
“You are so stupid, just let me pick you up, you are clearly intoxicated” Jungkook sounded disappointed.
“No, fuck off I can take care of myself” you said on the other line.
“At least let me call you a taxi, please” he begged but you hung up your phone.
When you ended the call, you saw the sleeping figure of Chanyeol reclined in the restaurant chair, you thank the heavens and called a taxi for the both of you, after leaving him, you went to bed at your own apartment trying to think of a new way to get out of the situation but it really seemed like there was no other way than accepting Jungkook’s deal.
…..
The next day defeated you had no option but to text Jungkook, he sent you lost of messages last night but you ignore them off course, with an uninterested charm you started typing:
You: let’s go out tonight, you know what I mean
He typed a response seconds after
Jungkook: Gosh I was considering visit you at your class, why you didn’t text me back?
You: I don’t really have to
Jungkook: I can’t believe you hang up the call
Jungkook: You shouldn’t drink if don’t know how to control yourself
You: I will let pass your last comment because I want to be nice today
You: so, are you free tonight or not?
Jungkook: alright
Jungkook: be ready at 8
You really did not want to make an effort, but after all you knew who Jungkook was and if you did not take it as serious as him, he will find a loophole to keep contact with you and did not want that.
You did not actually know what you want.
Since the crazy all over again situation happened to you, you haven’t really stopped for a second to really think what is going on, what is really happening.
Did the universe actually give you a second chance to make things right? It actually felt like your old life was a complete hallucination. You doubted every day if doing all this actually serves a purpose.
But if you had to summarize all your questions and doubts into one it would be: why?
Why Jungkook killed Hajoon in the first place?
Why didn’t you notice in your old life that he was capable of killing?
Why the Jungkook in this new life seems so uncapable of killing or doing harm?
Why you have to live all of this again?
It was a lot of questions that pile up in the back of your mind and didn’t leave you alone, you had avoided making any friends, you had avoided going out at all.
You felt alone.
That made you actually wonder if it was really a bad thing that the school expel you, that would be a valid reason to pack your things and go home and start all over again, but at least you would have your mom and friends.
If you remembered correctly Jungkook lost his mom when he was a kid, maybe that is one of the signals you did not pick up about him, he never talked about his father either which you did no press him any further assuming that they might had fought. He wasn’t close with his family but he did seem normal. He approached you like a gentleman, ask for your number and started dating you, he had friends, well one actually, but they looked like they appreciate each other a lot, then it doesn’t make any sense why he would become so violent. Maybe he is just capable of such violence.
You received his text which took you out of your thoughts.
Whoever Jungkook really was, you need to cut ties and if this was truly the last chance you had to close this chapter of your life then you would not fuck it up.
Soon enough you two where dining at this restaurant, he made sure to look good tonight. Jungkook was wearing all black but the tight pants with the loose button shirt made him look dressed up but casual at the same time, you did recognize the outfit though. He was wearing it on your first date when you two were together in your past life.
Mixed feeling made a knot on your chest, you maybe had to calm down a bit with anesthesia in form of a bottle.
You served yourself some soju but before you could ingest it Jungkook stopped you.
“Calm down a bit, they haven’t brought us the food yet”
“That is exactly what I’m trying to do” you said trying once again to drink the liquor but Jungkook soft hand did not let you, you sighted.
“Please, it’s not about getting drunk” he insisted.
“You are so boring” you said letting off the glass in the table. Jungkook look down for a second, you had hurt his feelings, in another life you would have apologized and kiss his pouty lips, but you have to be tough in this one.
“I still haven’t figuring you out yet” Jungkook said to you “You hating me for no reason, I don’t believe it for a second” he pointed out analyzing your features “Something inside me fights for still convince you, still not sure of what, but I can’t give up, isn’t that crazy?”
You look at him for the first time without an annoyed look on your face.
“You look so pretty tonight” he said serious “So pretty” he remarked.
“Hey only Chanyeol can call me that” you bring out that idiot to dissipate the atmosphere, he knew what he was doing after all it has worked in the past, and if keep doing that it might work again.
Jungkook annoyance was too obvious.
“How could you go out with him? He has a reputation, you know? Did he try something stupid with you?” Jungkook demanded, he looked mad, but no the normal mad that you were accustomed to, the shine of evil that you saw that day reflected in his dark pupils for a second before disappearing, that made you swallow some saliva.
“I was joking, he as drunk as I was, I left him home, he needed help to even walk, if someone was getting advantage, I could have been the one” you said remembering Chanyeol state, Jungkook opened his eyes at your statement.
“Yn…”
“But of course, I did not, besides Chanyeol it’s not my type at all” you teased.
“And what is your type?” Jungkook asked, his lips parted with a daring gaze.
“I will not tell you, but you aren’t either” and you were not lying Jungkook wasn’t your usual type but he had something about him, that drives you completely crazy.
“Besides you have a fucking girlfriend, don’t you?” you accuse him, his expression turned confused, before he could refute you the waitress came with your food, she left soon enough. “Mmm smells so good” you said looking at the tasty dishes before you.
“Where did you get the idea that I have a girlfriend?” Jungkook asked ignoring your attempt to change the subject “It’s that why you are so cold with me?”
“So you have the balls to hide your girlfriend from me? Men! They never change!” you exclaimed with a sarcastic tone and already digging in some meat. Jungkook on the other hand hasn’t even pick up his chopsticks, he shook his head laughing with irony and served himself some soju, after he drank the shot he scrunched up his features at the burning sensation in his throat.
“What did Hajoon say to you?” Jungkook asked finally eating some food, you served two shoots of soju Jungkook took one glass and both of you drank.
“Who is Hajoon?” you asked lying blatantly “I was testing you, but it turns out that you actually have a girlfriend, ha!” you remarked, Jungkook big dark eyes opened.
“I.. umm” Jungkook started to say.
“Shut up, I don’t want to hear it” you interrupted him “like I’m not even surprised”
“I want to be honest with you, Hajoon does want something with me, okay? But we were never nothing. She was never my girlfriend” Jungkook confessed eating another piece of meat.
You raised an eyebrow. Then why did you kill her? You wanted to ask but of course you didn’t say anything.
“This is a lame conversation” you said to him.
“It is” he agreed surprising you “And I don’t care about your efforts I will not give up my chance tonight I will make you like me”
“You have too much high expectations” you added stuffing your face with noodles.
“Don’t eat too much we have another stop after dinner” he said to you making you look at him surprised, he smiled at you and said “And just to let you know, if I had the privilege to date you, I would be exclusive of course”
You pretended not pay attention to the last sentence, in your mind wondering about where he wanted to take you.
The taxi left the two of you in a children park, people were having a pleasant time, there were almost not kids around, only couples or loners that were looking at the moon and the stars that evening. Then a weird sensation in your body made you almost flinch but Jungkook took it as if you were cold.
“Oh I’m sorry, Yn I don’t have my coat here” Jungkook said “Let me hold you closer” Jungkook pull you to his arms, you were having so much mixed feelings that you did not protest or resist his touch.
“Why did you brought me here, Jungkook?” you questioned, you could not see his face you could only hear his voice.
“This a kinda personal place for me, if we become close one day I’ll tell you the full story okay?” he said with an incredibly smooth voice, you did not responded and without saying a word you walked in silence admiring the flowers and the moonshine.
Then a statue caught your attention, a butterfly statue.
You remembered once when you were little, a park had a butterfly statue just like this one, but that was a weird day, a little boy lost his mom and he was scared, he did not let go of your hand.
……………………………….
The past.
The children’s squeals and the cracking sounds of the swings of the kid’s park filled the ambiance while the summer breeze blew Yn’s hair. the little girl was barely grasping her mother’s hand, everything was unnatural to her, even thought it was a children’s park and she was a little girl the fact that she was in this foreign country made the most simple things incredibly new and even scary.
Yn’s mom promise her that they would have so much fun in Korea while they were on holiday, just like their vacation in Thailand and Japan though she doesn’t remember much of those. Her mom made sure she could understand some of the language which she spoke fluently, but still it was too different from home that she did not dare to leave her mom side for too long.
So there she was, not being able to play with the other kids because it was scary, but she wanted to make her mom happy so for the first time in days she let go of her hand and went her way.
Walking through the park she stopped her tracks, she heard someone behind a bush, not a dangerous stranger rather it sounded like a kid was crying.
She went closer and found a little boy just like her, his big doe watery eyes stared at her immediately, a few tears running down his still red face.
“Don’t cry!” yn said in his language, she remembered she asked her mom what did it meant what the old ladies said to her when she was crying in the restaurant.
He looked at her again not sobbing anymore but unable to stop the tears, yn felt pity for him and wondered why he was in the park alone without his mom. Yn felt the need to help him, maybe her mom can call his or something.
“Come!” she ordered him with gesture of her hands, the boy still not said a word but he stood up without moving, without more vocabulary to instruct him, yn simply took his hand and pull him so he followed her.
The boy did grab her hand tightly and followed her, when they arrived to her mom, she looked at them with a smile that dropped as soon as she saw the red bloated eyes of the little boy.
“What’s wrong with your friend, sweetie?” she asked yn.
“I don’t know, I think he lost her mom but I don’t know how to ask him” yn said worried, her mom started to ask the little boy questions that she did not understand quite well, the boy did not let go of her hand.
“His name is Jungkook” her mother suddenly said to her “He doesn’t remember her mother’s phone number, why don’t you introduce yourself like I taught you” she suggested, the nerves attacked yn again but she had to be a big girl today.
“My name is yn” she said remembering how to introduce herself in Korean.
“I am Jeon Jungkook” he responded not crying anymore.
“Honey I am going to ask around to see if his mother is near, ok?” her mom said to her “Meanwhile why don’t you go play and buy ice cream, huh? that could make Jungkook less scared don’t you think?” her mom handed her some cash and put away some hairs of her face, yn nodded.
Her mom said something to Jungkook and then walked away, Jungkook pulled her hand and she followed him, then she playfully pushed him and then ran away, Jungkook got the hint and ran her way until he got to her and push her playfully making her laugh, now he ran as fast as he could but she got to him. They stopped when the saw an old lady with a cart, all the children were forming a line so yn assumed that she must be selling delicious ice cream.
Yn looked at Jungkook, he gave her a little smile. They both were sitting on the bench drinking yogurt, it turned out that the old lady was not selling ice cream, but the yogurt was tasty. The bench was just in front of this particular statue, the sculpture was of a butterfly spreading its wings, yn found it beautiful.
Yn put the change in her pockets put her keychain fell out, Jungkook grabbed it and extended to her, yn felt the need to gift her keychain to Jungkook, the poor boy lost his mom so he must be really sad.
She shook her head and made a gesture to him to keep it, Jungkook looked at her with a smile and hug her, she hugged him back then she took his hand and made their way back to her mom that was calling for them.
While they were walking towards her mom yn notice someone.
It was a woman, a weeping woman hidden behind a tree nearby. The way that she looked at them made the unaware little girl sense that something was up, but she said nothing to Jungkook or her mom, a minute past and she did not realize until a man suddenly grabbed Jungkook’s arm.
The man did not have a good aspect, he had this serious expression in his face, a 3 day beard, messy hair and he smelled like tobacco.
Jungkook smiled went away immediately, yn turned around looking for the woman hiding behind the tree but she was gone.
Her mom looked serious while talking to the man, he had a deep raspy voice, they seemed to say goodbye and the next second the man was pulling Jungkook away from yn, Jungkook held her hand tight for a few seconds until this man pull him away, then they walk out Jungkook looking at her at every chance he had.
“Is him his dad?” Yn asked her mom confused.
“Yes,  he is Jungkook’s father” She also followed them with her sight until she could not see them anymore ”Are you hungry, sweetie? Let’s go grab lunch” her mother said to her taking her hand and leaving the park.
……………………………………………………………..
“This is crazy, but I think I’d been here before” you mentioned, Jungkook stopped walking as you said that. “I came here when I was a child”
“What?” Jungkook mumbled almost to himself.
“Yes, that’s the statue” you turned to take a better look of it but Jungkook’s arm did not let you go so you both turned. “Whoah so crazy like a deja vu” you exclaimed.
“I think a boy lost his mom that day, I did not know a word of Korean back then, but I tried my best to comfort him, I remember that it was in this very same park!” you were excited at the coincidence that you did no notice Jungkook’s watery eyes and how wiped away a few tears from his face, so you were surprised when he hugged you all of the sudden, you were kinda stiff at the beginning but soon enough you hugged him back.
“What if I tell you that I’m that boy, the boy that was so scared that hid behind the bush? That felt safe while holding that little girl hand?” Jungkook said while hugging you even tighter, you came to realization of him being the little boy that lost his mom that day.
“oh my god” you could only say, all this time seemed like destiny crossed your paths on purpose since you two were little till now. Your lives changed so much, you wondered sometimes what could have been of that lost boy, and now realizing that it was Jungkook all this time made you a little emotional.
You broke the hug to look at his eyes, they were shiny and, his lips curved into a smile.
“It is you” he said still smiling.
“Jungkook this is actually crazy” you manage to say “I don’t know what to say”
“We don’t have to say much” Jungkook replied putting his hands on your face and caressing your cheeks with his fingers.
“I wondered so many times about you” you confessed to him feeling the urge to close the distance.
“So did I” Jungkook said softly “I still have the keychain, but I’m always afraid to lose it so I keep it in my room”
“Really?” you asked almost in a whisper; he bitted his lips.
“Yn, I’m going to kiss you right now, I can’t hold back no more” he said before taking your lips into his, there was nothing aggressive about it, it was just neediness and passion, you hold his face between your hands deepening the kiss.
Jungkook hasn’t committed any crime yet.
You can guide him to be a better person and to get help for him if he needs it.
Maybe the universe message it’s that love wins at the end.
“Yn, I’m yours” Jungkook said between kisses. You melted at his words.
“I was such a bitch to you, I’m sorry” you said to Jungkook feeling the tears stinging your eyes.
“I forgive you” Jungkook murmuring giving you some pecks “I will always forgive you”
“Why don’t we celebrate?” you suggested to Jungkook “Is there a bar near here? I want to catch up with your life!”
“oh I don’t want to ruin the night, love” Jungkook said giving you one more kiss “my past is not something pleasant to talk about”
“it can’t be all bad, besides I want to know! Please” you pleaded with your eyes “And if you don’t want to tell me everything tonight then let just enjoy ourselves”
Jungkook smiled fondly
“Alright, I know a place”
You drank all night, kissing in-between, Jungkook did not say much about his past but he let you know that his mother passed away, but you already knew that. You told him about your life back home, how your mom was doing nowadays, that you felt a little lonely in Korea.
“You will never feel alone again, love” Jungkook mentioned kissing you again.
“What about you? You don’t seem to be close with the family you have left” you asked him, trying to get a little more information about his past.
He was taken back at your question, his whole demeanor turned anxious.
“Well it’s really not a nice story…” Jungkook said serious, you came closer to him and put your arm around his waist.
“It’s okay, I shouldn’t have asked” you replied trying to be tactful, Jungkook turned around to look at your eyes.
“…But I trust you enough” he sentenced “You remember that day when we were kids and I got lost? You know my father found me and I returned home with him” Jungkook told you holding his breath, you knew it was difficult topic and wondered why you even brought that up, maybe it was too soon to talk about it either way Jungkook continued “I actually ran away with my mom that day” he confessed and heavily exhaled “but he found me”
“That sounds like he wasn’t very good to you” you added passing your hands back and forth through his back in a soft motion.
“He was not” Jungkook simply said without giving much details “He was actually a monster”
“Oh my god” you exclaimed now feeling guilty, the woman behind the tree that day must has been Jungkook’s mom! And she arrived first but no one saw her except you. What could have been of Jungkook’s life? It was your fault, you felt the burning in eyes, tears wanting to come out but you hold them in to not worry Jungkook.
“And that day when he found me after running away he…” Jungkook had to stop himself for a moment “…took it on me”  you closed your eyes recognizing how much Jungkook has suffered.
“But later when my mom came back home…He…” Jungkook made a disgusted gesture, he felt repulsed at the memories.
“Jungkook, we don’t have to talk about this if you are not comfortable” you reminded him with a gentle tone, he shook his head.
“Someone needs to know, I need some one to know” he exclaimed fully determined.
“To know what?” you asked him
“My mother did not just pass away, Yn” Jungkook confessed “That bastard kill her” you gasped loudly covering your mouth with your hand. 
His father was a killer, so was Jungkook.
It was the cycle of violence bond to repeat itself.
Again in the hole without being able to escape.
Everything in Yn’s mind turned black and white. An animal survival instinct started again palpitating in her chest, fear infected her blood.
“Oh Jungkook” you could only whisper before pulling him for a hug trying to dissimulate your body shaking.
“He is not part of my life anymore, he doesn’t exist” he also said in a whisper “But I feel disgusted every time I have to pretend my mother just died and that he had nothing to do with it” the subtle rage in his tone chilled your bones
“It’s over, Jungkook, it’s over” you comforted him a few more seconds before pulling away from the hug.
Now you were stuck again, just when felt that you could give a second chance the change of events has led you right in the biggening.
Jungkook was doomed, you couldn’t explained but you just know it. And you would be doomed too if you stayed around too long.
Now it was time to make a new plan, no to gig yourself deeper in a highly codependent relationship.
You let another hour go by drowning yourself in more alcohol until you felt tipsy, then you turned to Jungkook with a tired expression:
“umm Jungkook I’m feeling a little sleepy right now” you told him yawning.
“it’s okay, let’s go to my house” Jungkook said, you could not mention this to him, but going to his house again was too soon, you needed to erase the memories of blood first.
You needed to decline but also be lowkey about it.
“isn’t a motel nearer?” you asked him
“A motel?” he asked you again.
 It wasn’t ideal but you still could not let Jungkook suggest to take you home, so a motel it is.
“Yeah” you murmured “I just really want to sleep” emphasizing the last word, he nodded and took your hand guiding you.
You both left the bar, and maybe was the alcohol in your system but as soon as you realized you two were alone in a room.
The typical motel setting, nothing fancy, you were not able to catch much details the only thing that really caught your attention was the humid smell.
 You did not think twice and went straight to the bed, Jungkook watching your every step, his expectations did not go to far as he saw you close your eyes and fell asleep not much later.
He shook his head smiling, and took off your heels. He did the same with his shoes and laid besides you closing his eyes and embracing Morpheus.
After a while Yn woke up, the moonshine reflecting in Jungkook features, he was so peaceful when he was asleep. In that moment Yn wished to erase the wicked memory of that look in his eyes when they were at the police station.
That was a completely different person, that was not this angelic being resting besides her.
Yn felt a painful sharp pain in her chest, feeling like she was saying a proper goodbye to the boy that she loved.
She needed to leave before the sun comes out and Jungkook starts being so lovely and more difficult to reject.
So yn looked out for her heels scattered across the room, and put them on without losing sight of Jungkook sleeping figure.
But as soon as Yn left the room, she encountered herself in the middle of a storm.
A man was holding a gun on the head of a weeping woman.
His eyes dark and shiny with no sense of any human qualities, very animalistic.
The woman with barely clothes on her body, face turned into a torrid mishmash of makeup, tears and blood.
Your own pulse started to accelerate.
there was no warning when the man just shot his gun.
The woman screamed in horror when she saw you lying on the ground in a puddle of blood.
You felt no pain.
The consciousness again slipping away from you.
The cold and the nothing carried you for a few instants until you did not remember your name anymore.
End of part 1
372 notes · View notes
justimagineok · 8 months
Text
fading stardust series || teaser ✨️
Tumblr media
Summary: Jungkook is your best friend for years, and during adolescence, he finally decides to leave to pursue his dream of becoming an idol. The problem? Leaving his best friend behind. Years go by, and you finally fulfill the promise to find him, but he's not the same Jungkook you knew. You navigate the crazy world of being close to a globally renowned idol until Jungkook makes a decision that will change everything.
pairing: jungkook x female!reader
genre: idol!?au, best friends to lovers, angst, fluff
masterlist
Tumblr media
"I know you wanna go, so go already. I'll find you when I can."
Jungkook looked at you with his wide eyes, confusion evident in his gaze, but your words hung heavy in the air, leaving little room for argument.
"Go already, Jungkook. Before I change my mind and make you stay here with me, okay?", you looked at your feet, avoiding his eyes. "Go. I'll find you."
He didn't know what to do as you both succumbed to the realization and reality of him leaving. He knew he had to go, but leaving you made him feel so bad that his body ached. He was in actual physical pain. "Don't miss me too much, deal?"
"I won't even notice you're gone, stupid. ", you grumbled as Jungkook managed a sad smile, appreciating your attempt at bravado. He pulled you to a hug, his strong and gentle arms wrapped around you as his fingers pressed gently into your back offering a grounding anchor amidst the turbulence of emotions you were both feeling. "Sorry..." he whispered against your neck, his breath tickling your skin as he held you close.
"Don't apologize for doing what's best for you, idiot. I'm proud," you replied softly.
"I'm gonna miss you, YN."
You only hummed in response, making the first move to get away from his arms. "Go, Kook."
And has he left, you stood there, distant and unblinking, a distant observer in a world that moved around you. You don't know how much time you stayed there, noticing while everything moved around you but you were just stuck there.
Tumblr media
44 notes · View notes
axigailxo · 2 years
Text
fix you | jjk
Tumblr media
pairing. jungkook x reader established relationship au
genre. angst, eventual fluff
w.c. 1.6k
summary. Jungkook sings to you in the bath after an argument that lead to you getting wasted and him having to take care of you.
contains. mentions of alcohol, implications of alcohol abuse, explicit language, toxic behaviors, angry jk, caring/soft jk, wasted oc
"It was one fucking bottle, Jungkook."
Jungkook gently shuts his eyes and takes another deep breath as if acting calm and breathing shallowly will potentially ease the bitter mood that's engulfed you both.
This isn't how he had hoped to spend his night with you. The complete opposite is what he originally aimed for. So when he discovered that 'one fucking bottle' carelessly shattered on the kitchen floor when he got home from work, he knew he had to go through another one of these with you.
'These' being a talk, or lecture, where he attempts to calmly and politely ask you to ease down on your alcohol intake, only for you to downplay his absurd accusations and question him for questioning you about something you don’t think is such a big deal.
"Yeah, one shattered bottle. Y/N, you're wasted, you could have slipped and hurt yourself on that glass." Jungkook's tone is of gentle disbelief, angry that you can't see the blatant danger you had put yourself in all while trying his best to remain soft and calm since he knows you're not in the right headspace.
However, you genuinely don't understand why he's blowing it out of proportion. You're not even drunk, you tell yourself.
"Stop talking to me like I'm drunk, for fucks sake. And okay I dropped the bottle? I was going to clean it before you got home, I got dizzy earlier and couldn’t." You get up from your seat on the couch and walk over to the kitchen which is now also known as an apparent crime scene. "Are you even complaining as my boyfriend who cares or a roommate that's upset about the mess?"
His jaw clenched the more you continued to downplay everything, and when he sees you go to pick up another bottle from the wine rack, he ditches that subtle approach he was taking and lets his anger be known to you.
"I don't give a fuck about the mess! I'm upset at how careless you are, always fucking drinking irresponsibly and making me seem like I'm insane for worrying about it. It's exhausting, Y/N. So fucking exauhsting."
You scoff as you take the corkscrew out of a drawer.
"Then you should go to sleep and stop worrying about me if you're so tired and 'exhausted', Jungkook.” You make a petty note to bump into his shoulder as you walk past him with the wine bottle and corkscrew in hand and to the bedroom, the door slamming shut behind you.
Pressing the power button on the remote, Jungkook tosses it back onto the coffee table as he crashes back against the couch with a sigh. He tried to distract himself from the past events, but it’s not working as all he can do is wonder what’s going on in your mind right now.
He’s not even mad, just concerned. He tried looking at it from the perspective of him being wrong, but his pride and overall mind just didn’t make sense of it. He had a right to be angry. As your boyfriend, he’s supposed to get angry at things like that. Especially when you don’t take accountability for it.
He did wonder for a while if he was too hard on you. Was there another approach to take other than accusing you like how he did? Or did he do exactly what he should have? Jungkook narrowed it down to the second one. He nicely tried to start a conversation with you, not an argument. He was concerned and needed to have that conversation. It’s not his fault that you weren’t being mature about it.
And just like that, all thoughts vanish from his once clouded mind as he hears a harsh thump coming from the bedroom.
“Y/N?” he instinctively calls out while jogging up to the door. It’s locked.
Wiggling rather profusely on the locked knob, his other hand goes to knock.
“Y/N, what was that noise?”
He started to become more and more panicked the longer you didn’t answer, so out of options he runs over to the kitchen to grab a toothpick before rushing back and inserting it into the small hole in the center of the knob.
After succeeding, his eyes scavenge the room and when you're nowhere in sight, his heart clenches.
“Y/N!” he shouts as he peeks over the bed, next to the dresser, and every other open space that you could possibly be.
“Gukkie?”
His ears perk up at the vague mumble of his name, rushing into the direction it came from which was the bathroom.
Sitting against the shower door in a soaked t-shirt, your tear-stained cheeks and red nose stand out to him as he makes his way over to you, holding you against him as he frantically checks your body for any major damages.
You continue your silent sob, and he notices as he sits up straight and observes your saddened features again.
His brows furrow in confusion and hurt, hardly able to bear seeing you like this, and just as he gets ready to ask what you were trying to do, you speak.
“I wanted to wash off all the sadness.” you drunkenly pout, head-nodding over to the shower behind you that's still dripping droplets of water out of the shower head.
“Jagi.” Jungkook breathes before shaking his head, palm rubbing at his temple. “You can't do that, okay? Let’s get you up, you need a bath then some rest.”
He’s well aware you’re out of it, the alcohol highly apparent in your breath, and he doesn’t doubt you finished the whole bottle again.
“Did you drink it all?” he asks calmly, almost nicely, as he throws one of your arms over his shoulder to guide you up.
You shake your head no, leaning your weight onto him as he walks you over to the edge of the bathtub.
“I’m s-sorry.” you sob again, this time into his shoulder. He focuses his attention on getting you sat against the tub, your back leaning against the wall as he peels the wet fabric from your body.
“Jungkook, please say something, I don’t want you to be mad. You’re right, I shouldn’t have -”
“I’m not mad at you, Y/N.”
Your pouty lips and wide red eyes find his, and he gives you the smallest smile you think you’ve ever seen.
He’s quick to advert from your eyes, though, keeping himself busy by reaching over to flick the tub’s faucet on. He wants to talk to you about what happened more than anything, just not right now. Especially not when you’re like this.
Despite how drunk you may be, you somehow understand that. You can understand how that’s reasonable, so you close your lips and refrain from shedding any more light on the topic.
Just pretend you never argued.
Pretend as if nothing happened.
Only to wake up and be reminded.
You sob again, your thoughts seeming to be never-ending. Jungkook decides it’s best to just let you cry. He hates it, but realistically there’s nothing he can do.
“Let’s get you in,” he speaks loud enough so you can hear him over your own cries, his hand guiding your arm to slump over his shoulder again as he very carefully walks you into the tub, helping you sit inside as the water continues to fill.
“Is that comfortable?” he asks while stepping out. He takes your new silence as a yes, and just as he believes your okay since you stopped crying, you pull him back in.
“Shit— Y/N!” he exclaims as he falls into the half-filled tub, his once dry clothes now drenched from the waist down.
“Stay in here with me.” you softly plead, like a child who just had a nightmare and wants their parent to sleep with them. He sighs and rubs at his temple, a habit that he picked up just tonight.
He debates in his head for a prolonged moment, not wanting you to cry again but also not wanting to stay sitting in a bath fully clothed. He settles on stripping just his shirt, getting himself as comfortable as possible in the claustrophobic tub before pulling you to lean against his chest.
He turns the nob off, reaches for the loofa, and you beat him to the liquid soap. He halts his pace as you take it upon yourself to squeeze the bottle all over your naked chest.
You sit there frozen and waiting for a second or two before asking him “are you going to wash me or not?”
Your tone wasn’t rude, it was humorous. And Jungkook lets himself smile at it. He’s glad you’re back to being happy again, even if it’s temporary and just a dumb joke.
He brings the loofa to your chest, lathering the floral-scented soap softly along your breasts, then to your neck, then back down your breasts and you giggle when he reaches a certain spot on your stomach.
He can’t help but lightly giggle back, softly apologizing and explaining how he forgot you were ticklish.
As he continues to scrub at your arms and shoulders, he realizes the mood is finally normal. He tries to pretend like nothing else happened tonight except for this moment. He wishes he didn’t fight with you, wishes that you didn’t drink. He wishes he can stay like this forever with you.
But he also knows it was a minor fight and with the right words, you’ll both work it out and use this as an excuse to become even better than you were before. That is the power of love after all.
"Gukkie, can you sing for me?"
~~~
A/N: we love a full circle moment 😗 but i’d be lying if i said i didn’t rush the ending bc i have major writers block rn 😭 forgive me lol :/ but in case you did like it, make sure to like, reblog, and send feedback <3
*also this was originally supposed to be a quick drabble for the attached audio but i decided to build it up im sry 😭
291 notes · View notes
thebangtancloud · 2 years
Text
Cupid's Paw
Tumblr media
Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Romance, University AU.
Summary: In a world where two people are so similar that they can’t get along, Jungkook spends the majority of his time avoiding you for reasons unbeknownst to him. But when a certain four-legged angel decides it’s time to put a stop to that, Jungkook wonders why he ever wanted to stay away from the only person who could offer the love he always needed.
A/n: New chapters will be posted every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 12AM KST!
Teaser // Teaser 2
Main Masterlist
🐾Chapter 1: Chocolates
Should it be a good thing that the only difference between you and Jungkook is that you don't like chocolates?
🐾Chapter 2: The Best Mentor
Namjoon comforts you when you feel low and unworthy.
🐾Chapter 3: Bam
The main hero makes his entry.
🐾Chapter 4: Kimchi
You're introduced to your neighbor's mother much earlier than you think you should've been.
🐾Chapter 5: Egg Sandwich
Jungkook is embarrassed when he knocks at your door, but the only thing that he could offer you is an egg sandwich.
🐾Chapter 6: Killer pup
There's a certain creature that loves scaring the shit out of you, especially with a knife in his mouth.
🐾Chapter 7: Wine and Apologies
You're quite surprised when you find out that drinking wine with a stranger feels so good.
🐾Chapter 8: Syncope
Bam leads Jungkook to you when you're at your worst.
🐾Chapter 9: Whiskey
Bam leads you to Jungkook when he's at his worst.
🐾Chapter 10: Shy
Children always look away when they witness their parents kissing. Is that why Bam is shy?
169 notes · View notes
jkpoetry · 1 year
Text
He hurt me, you know, stripped me bare, burned me to ashes. I don't care, don't hurt anymore. Barely there touches bring comfort, somewhat. You kiss me and, see? I don't hurt, don't feel. You must think me dumb, but I'm glad I'm numb. I don't cry a sea. I don't hurt — I'm free.
3 notes · View notes
muniimyg · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
6.5: baby 》 series m.list
note: oh my gawd ,, my friends !!! i’m so sorry for the wait! i was in my finals szn & tryna figure things out w my courses for my next sem … meanwhile ,, this entire ch has been brewing and consuming my mind like crazy! hope u guys enj ,, pls pls pls lmk what u guys think !!! i’m so glad i can finally push this ch out so lets fcking tawk abt it 😫
warnings: making out, mini fingering moment, raw sex, grinding, thigh humping ? ass slapping, pussy eating, 69, doggy style, cum shots & filming / sex tape vibes……… dirty talk / name calling <3 lol !!!
taglist request: send a request with the title of this fic “c2u” // DO NOT comment here or on the masterlist . it gets confusing and i prefer answering and tagging through asks !!!
🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @defzcl @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main
fic taglist: @mint--yoongs @ellesalazar @bloopkook
//
Jungkook was afraid of this. 
From the moment he first made you laugh—oh, he knew he was fucked. Something inside him twisted and turned until his mind found ease from your very touch. Then, suddenly and all at once, every fiber in his body surrendered. Though he didn’t do the best job, he still tried. He tried his best to resist you and the feelings his heart felt. As his heart found rest with yours—it was then he realized that it was no use.
He was addicted to you. 
It’s like he’s a child all over again, tasting his favourite chocolate bar for the first time. It’s like he’s a timid high schooler trying weed and getting so high, that he’s already making plans to do this again tomorrow. Or, it’s like he’s a man falling in love for the first time. 
For real. 
No bullshit, just the plain and boring truth. No, he wasn’t only addicted to you… Jungkook is falling in love with—
“Cute room.” You step into his room and shut the door behind you. The room is dim, only lit with his warm lamp light and a few candles placed around. It looked romantic and for some reason, it did not scare you. If anything, it entices you. 
He was so thoughtful. 
Before you can look around any further, you feel Jungkook’s body embrace yours. He wraps himself around you, holding you tight by your waist and digging his face into the crook of your neck. He kisses you behind your ear, causing you to giggle from the ticklish feeling. At this moment, you take in the scent of his freshly washed hair.
Is it odd to say this has to be one of your favourite scents? You’ve grown to like it. If anything, you can’t help but feel a little disappointed when you see him and his hair isn’t a little damp. Something about him being freshly showered makes your heart race. His damp hair is a symbol of his priorities… And that priority is you. Not to mention, wet hair has got to be the most romantic look any boy could have… You’ve always told yourself that as a child. Now, here you are: standing in a room with a damp-haired boy clinging to you. 
Nothing makes you happier than this. 
“I think Yuna saw me—mmfphh,” your words are interrupted by Jungkook’s lips. He greets you with a peck before continuing to kiss you like it’s his last dying wish. 
His hands find their way to your hair, cupping your jaw as you kiss him back. Your lips sync together as if it’s been a lifetime since you two last did this.
Only it wasn’t—it hasn’t been.
It feels like it though. 
“Miss me much?” you ask, breaking away from the intense kiss. He leans his forehead against yours, wasting no time and letting his hands travel inside your shirt. You feel his fingers trace over your bra, quickly finding the clasp and undoing it with his one hand.
Impressive, you must admit.
Should you be mad at that? 
Jungkook smirks, “fuck around and find out.”
A small laugh escapes your lips as you raise your arms. He lifts your shirt over your head, leaving your top exposed. Your bra is barely hanging on and Jungkook can’t keep his eyes off your breasts. 
“How about a hi first?”
“Hi ___,” he obliges. Then, he taps his fingers together, bringing them close to his lips. Like a menace, he grins. “Well, well, well… What do we have here?” 
Playfully, you roll your eyes at him and respond by taking the bra off yourself. You fling it at his face, just enough for it to land perfectly on top of his hair. One cup covers his face and he takes a breath in. 
“Smells like you.”
“Smells like my boob sweat, you pervert.”
He takes the bra off from his face and licks his lips at the sight of your bare chest. “I can keep it in my pants… You on the other hand… A few nights ago? Drunk? You were coming on to me. Hard.”
You huff. “I was drunk.”
“You also said you’d hold my hand… Without arguing with me.”
“What? That doesn’t count. I was drunk.” Your words come out fast. It almost sounds defensive and harsh. “Jungkook, I was drunk.”
“Oh, I know.” He shrugs, taking the high road. “No need to be so uptight about it. It’s okay to hold hands, you know? The same way it’s okay to be obsessed with me, baby… This is a safe space.” 
The audacity! More than that, you wince at the pet name. “Who the fuck is baby?”
Jungkook ignores your question and takes a step closer to you. As he does so, he takes his shirt off. He then tosses his shirt to the side of his room where his laundry hamper is. As you turn your attention back to him, your eyes fall on his pelvis area as he begins to undo his pants. Then, he pauses when he notices your gaze. 
“Do it for me.”
You raise a brow. 
“Pardon?”
“Take my pants off,” he points at the floor. “Get on your knees and take my pants off.”
For a split second, you hesitate. Earlier tonight, as you made your way over, you thought about what kind of mood he must’ve been in. You’ve seen Jungkook happy, irritated, tired, and even hangry… But horny in a needy and demanding way? Boarder-line desperate? Never. His doe eyes and goofy attitude can’t fool you… You’ve wondered about this. 
You’ve waited for this side of him. 
Perhaps it was your curiosity that answered for you because, without breaking eye contact, you fell to your knees. Jungkook’s gaze lowers as you bring your hands to his crotch. You palm him, feeling his cock and gulping at how hard it already was. Faintly, you hear him snicker at your submissiveness. 
He likes this. 
Slowly, you undo his pants and tug them down. In his Calvins, his raging boner greets you. Just as you slip your thumbs in between the fabric to pull them down, Jungkook grabs your wrists and pulls you to stand up. You follow his lead, confused. 
“I thought I was going to—”
Jungkook undoes your cargo pants buttons and tugs them down. He gives you no warning as he licks his thumb and slips his hand inside your panties. You feel his wet thumb rubbing your clit. Your breath hitches as he draws circles and then adds another finger into the mix. He deepens his rubbing, slowly but surely dragging his fingers around your folds. Jungkook then shifts his hand placement, quickly inserting a finger inside of you. The shock sends shivers down your spine and completely takes your focus. He adds another finger and it earns a lewd moan from you. 
“Ooh my god—”
Then, he stops. 
He takes his fingers out and examines the wetness. Your eyebrows furrow together, completely unsure of the pace he’s going at. How long would this last? Why couldn’t he just continue?
“Sorry, were you enjoying that?” Jungkook asks innocently.
It’s official: you hate him.
Dumbfounded, you shoot him a glare. “Maybe I was. Who knows? I wasn’t finished.”
Jungkook exchanges with laughter. “Finished? Five minutes in? Pookie, you give me way too much credit.”
You stick your tongue out at him, annoyed at how cocky he is. Truth be told, this suited him. The nasty comments and the edging… It feels like this should’ve happened before. It’s hard to explain but he just looks so comfortable with control. In a more unexplainable way—you can’t help but feel comfortable with it.
“Come on,” he nods towards the bed. “If you wanna finish, you should do it sitting on my face.”
His words make your tummy flip. Was he serious? The texts he sent prior to this.. You were so sure it was all talk. The most you expected was a quickie and a few nasty exchanges… But this? You don’t know what to think.
Jungkook lays on his bed first, gesturing you to follow. 
“Are you serious?”
With a flat tone, he answers: “Why would I joke about this?”
To be completely honest, he was a little offended you weren’t taking him seriously. Of course, he’s serious about eating you out. This was no joke to him.
Crossing your arms, you look at him in disbelief. “You want to do everything you texted me? Jungkook, there are people downstairs. Our friends are downstairs and—”
“I know,” he groans. “That’s why you need to shut the fuck up and sit on my face already. The longer we take, the more they will wonder where you are. Didn’t you say Yuna saw you come up here?”
“Y-yeah,” you recall. “Maybe we shouldn’t—”
He hits his bed with his fist like a child. “Why do you always deprive me?”
You gasp at his dramatic question. “Deprive you? It’s just my body, Jungkook. Do you crave pussy this bad?”
Tilting his head, he looks at you softly. “You,” he breathes. “I crave you.”
A silence falls between you two, followed by a heavy sigh. 
“Look, I’m never going to make you do things with me if you don’t want to. I’m only demanding tonight because I just—I really need you right now. If you want to go downstairs and find Yuna, go ahead. We can do this another time… I just thought you missed me just as much as I missed you.”
“Gaslighter.”
He chuckles, attempting to hide the smile on his face as you get on the bed. Moving closer to him, he watches your hands roam from his abdomen to his jaw. Placing chante kisses on him, he stutters his words. “I’m s-serious. It’s fine. It’s just pussy.”
“But it’s my pussy.”
“True,” Jungkook agrees, leaning back and watching you place yourself on his thigh. “So fucking true, pookie.”
You lean in to kiss him. His lips chase yours when you pull away, only to grind your hips. He feels your wet pussy on his thigh and he feels like he could choke on air. It’s torture watching you throw your head back at the sensation. You can’t help but embrace the feeling of relief.
“You’re not finishing on my thigh,” he mutters, placing his hands on your waist. He lifts you just enough for you to get off. Laughing, he squiggles down the bed so you have more space. Before you know it, you’re making yourself comfortable on his face. As you straddle yourself on, you make a confession.
“W-wait, I’m scared! I don’t want to suffocate you—”
“Shut the fuck up.” Jungkook snaps, unable to watch his tone. “This is literally all I’ve ever wanted so you need to shut the fuck up and let me have this.”
“Okay, okay,” you snicker lightly, as you sink into his face. “But seriously! I don’t want to crush—“
You don’t even finish your sentence. You’re cut off by the feeling of Jungkook’s hot breath against your pussy. Then, you feel his nose against your clit and the texture of his tongue brush against your folds. The feeling shocks you, causing you to lift yourself out of reflex. Just as quickly, Jungkook wraps his arms around your thighs and holds you to stay. 
“J-Jungkook, I can’t—”
“Yes, you can. You can and you will, got it?” he hisses. “Hold the fucking headboard if you need to. You aren’t going anywhere until your cum is on my tongue.”
You do as he says.
You lean forward, grabbing a hold of his headboard for support. 
Just as those thoughts immerse your mind, you feel him dragging his tongue across your folds. It begins slow and soft. It feels like kitten licks and if the word cute was a feeling… This was it. Then, he flicks his tongue and it’s everything but cute from here on out. You want to jolt, but you keep what Jungkook said to you in mind. Besides, there is no place in the world you would rather be at than here. Jungkook eats you out like he’s a starved man. He doesn’t miss an inch of your pussy and tightens his grip around your thighs each time your body twitches. 
Biting your bottom lip, you hold in your moan. 
He feels so good. His tongue against your wet pussy feels so fucking good—it’s almost comical how you were so hesitant to do this. Soon enough, you let go of the headboard and search for his hands. Like second nature, you and Jungkook intertwine your fingers together and finally, you close your eyes and give in. 
You can have this.
You can have him.
“Y-you feel so good,” you confess shyly. “You make me feel so good.”
Jungkook smiles against your pussy as you begin to roll your hips against his face. He knew it would take some time, but you’d eventually come around. No pun intended. 
“C-close,” you utter in between heavy exhales. “Jungkook—I’m close! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!”
You hold his hand tighter and push your weight on him harder. You feel him quicken the pace as he licks you and—holy shit.
Are those stars?
You cum.
Messy, wet, and hard. 
Jungkook moans against your pussy, taking a moment to bite your inner thigh. Your legs practically shake, causing you to completely rest your weight on his face. After a few moments, you gather whatever energy you have left and shift your position. You turn your body around and line yourself with his cock. Jungkook stretches his neck out to figure out what you’re doing. Before he can comment, your lips are already placing kisses on his dick. Your fingers dig into his Calvins and pull them off. 
“W-what are you doing?” He asks, voice shaking from anticipation. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew what you were doing—he just couldn’t believe it. He’s so fucking lucky. 
“34 plus 35! Do the math,” you tease. “Keep it up, okay?”
Jungkook laughs, pinching your ass in response. “Keep up with me then.”
“Is that a challenge?”
He rubs the spot he pinched your ass and shakes his head. “I already have one point… Doubt you’re gonna catch up.”
“You could nut twice,” you suggest. Then you turn your head and shake your ass in his face. “For me? So we’re even.”
Jungkook bites his lips. “Then it wouldn’t be a completion.”
“I hate losing.”
“So do I.” Jungkook then wastes no time. He digs himself in you again, flicking his tongue at all the right times and places. 
You groan, hating how much you love this. You try to focus. After pumping him a few times, you stuff his cock in your mouth. Moaning from how thick he is, you suck him off. Your cheeks begin to feel a little sore after a few minutes, but by then his dick is up. He’s as hard as can be and you can even feel his veins come out more and more. Every time you pull his cock out, you make sure to be as loud as you can. The pop sound makes Jungkook’s blood rush to his dick and the way you suck him so sloppy and hard only reminds him of the time you did this in his car. That night, Jungkook had never felt more attracted to you. 
Your jealousy had consumed his every thought for days after. 
Just like that, Jungkook’s stomach twitches. He feels a rush and it goes straight from his dick and out.
Like a loser, Jungkook cums and whimpers loudly. 
“F-fuck yes. Holy shit, ___.. Just like that… Mhmm,” his breath hitches. “Fuck!”
Lips pressed against his dick, you let his cum spill on your face. Mostly, it hits your nose bridge and your upper lip. You shift off of Jungkook and kneel in front of him. He gulps, watching you with longing eyes. You stick your tongue out, bring your fingers to where his cum landed and taste it. You lick your lips and swallow with a cute moan. 
“Yummy.”
He hisses, and immediately takes you by the waist. You giggle, unable to stop it from becoming a laugh. “Did that turn you on, pookie?”
Jungkook glares at you, swiping a bit of his cum with his thumb. Without warning, he then shoves his thumb into your mouth. As you suck, he cups the rest of his hand around your jaw and ravishes at your beauty. 
A layer of sweat makes you shine, and the strands of your hair on your forehead never made you look so beautiful to him before. Your lips are perfect—puffy and tainted with his cum. Your eyes—god, your eyes… They’re smiling at him and he swears he has never felt his heart flutter like this ever. 
As you sit on top of his dick, you roll your hips against it. When you do this, both of you watch it happen. You lean back, planting your hands on each side of his legs. Jungkook watches as your folds drag and split open against his cock. You can’t help but let out hitched breathes as you take in the feeling of his member. How his veins feel against you. How his soft skin feels as you soak it with your wetness.. All of it. 
All of him. 
“You like that, hmm? You like grinding on my cock with your pussy all wet?” He pries, turning up his dirty talk. “Come on, baby… You know how I like it, right? Why don’t you be a good girl and put it in? Sink into it like the little cockslut you are… For me?”
You moan, hissing his name. “Jungkook, shut the fuck up. Just enjoy this.”
As punishment, you rub yourself on him harder. Each roll of your hips has more pressure and his dick feels like it’s going to explore. He watches, hating you more and more as his head turns red. You hump his cock, moaning at the sensation.
“Holy shit,” Jungkook whines. “I’m not gonna last even if you ride me.”
“Loser.”
He chuckles, too lazy to put up a fight. “Let’s go doggy, please.”
You think about it. “Beg for it.”
“Very funny.” Jungkook doesn’t wait for your response. He tosses you over and gets on his knees. You arch your back and get taken aback when Jungkook swiftly places a pillow under your stomach. You turn back to give him a confused look. 
“You might cramp.” 
Huffing, you bite back. “I won’t cramp. You’re gonna nut before I cramp.”
He rolls his eyes at you and tells you to shut up. You bite your bottom lip, even more excited and eager to feel him. Doggy style isn’t your favourite… But for some reason, it feels hot. Doing this with Jungkook makes your mind spin and you aren’t sure if your playful remarks are masking how nervous you are. Underneath your teasing, you have no idea how you’re doing or saying any of these things. How are you even doing this with him right now? It’s fucking wild. 
“Gonna put it in now,” Jungkook’s voice sounds a little parched at this point. “If you cream my dick, can I film it?”
His question catches you by surprise.
“Your face wouldn’t be in it… And y-you don’t even have to say yes. I just… I miss you sometimes and I think about fucking you a lot so a video would be—”
“I trust you,” you say, flipping to face him. “Honestly? I’ll film a bit of it. Bet it’ll get you off in the future.” Then, you reach over his nightstand and swipe on his phone to the camera icon. You hold it and press record. Jungkook smirks and you zoom into his face. 
“Cute,” you laugh. 
Again, Jungkook rolls his eyes but loves every moment of this. You go back on all fours and hold the camera out. It captures half of your face, a bit of your boobs, and your ass. Jungkook places himself at your rear. You watch from the screen as Jungkook spits on his dick before he pushes himself inside you. He thrusts a few times before you let out a moan. 
You bite your lip for the camera and let a giggle escape in between Jungkook’s thrusts. His breathing gets heavy as he picks up the pace and fucks you harder. 
“J-Jungkook,” you whimper. 
“Louder,” he commands as he fucks you. You close your eyes, taking in how good he feels inside you. He’s throbbing. He’s so fucking big.
“Oh my god, Jungkook! Yes, yes, yes! Fuck me harder! Please, please, please!”
“Say my name,” Jungkook growls. “Say it louder.” 
“Fuck me,” you ignore his request. “You’re so big. I’m so fucking lucky. I love it. I love your cock so much!”
He slaps your ass. 
“Say my fucking name.” Jungkook pushes himself deeper into you, taking his time doing so. You hate how slow it feels now. “Whose making you feel this way? You’re so wet taking my cock in. Don’t be a bad girl… Are you a bad girl?”
“N-no,” you cry, feeling each thrust intensify.
“What are you then? My little slut? My fucking cock hungry slut? You won’t even say my name… You’re just a dirty bad girl. Fucking disrespectful at this point.”
“No, I’m not!” you feel tears begin to jerk in. “I love your cock too much to disrespect it—I,” you catch your breath, “I’m not a dirty bad girl!”
“What are you then? Because if you were a good girl, you’d say my fucking name… Say it. Be a good girl and say whose fucking cock you’re going to cream.”
“J-Jungkook!”
“Louder.” He pauses, leaving his cock to twitch inside you. 
“Please… Fuck me so good I cream your cock…”
“No. My name. Say my fucking name—”
“Oh my god, Jungkook!”
He smirks.  
Jungkook loves this so much. It does more than feed his ego—it ignites it.
He loves the way you say his name. He loves the way you call for him and how soft your tone gets when the sentence gets to his name. He absolutely fucking loves it.
“Yes, yes, yes!” you sob as he continues to fuck you. He fucks you rough, sloppy, and messy. You feel his dick slip in and out so easily that the friction is pure pleasure. 
“Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook,” you chant. “I’m not a good girl—I’m just…”
“You’re what?”
“I’m your girl,” you exhale. “R-right?”
Jungkook loses it. 
He fucking loses his mind.
Hastly, he leans over and grabs your tits. He fucks himself into you more and more, while biting your ear and kissing your neck. You moan and whimper, watching how hot it all looks on camera. Jungkook then rides his orgasm, not leaving you behind. He takes his phone from your hands and begins to film himself fucking you. The camera captures his dick going in and out of your pussy. How your ass bounces each time it hits his pelvis. It captures his breathy moans and his hushed, “fuck, fuck, fuck.” 
“J-Jungkook—I’m gonna cum! Oh my god, oh my god.”
And you do.
You cream his dick. As he pulls in and out of you, the camera catches your creamy release on his dick. 
It doesn’t take much after that. He isn’t sure if it’s just the heat of the moment or the fact that your brain is all fucked out by now—it doesn’t matter. The words that escaped your lips were enough. Jungkook cums hard and loud. He groans, hissing as he spills himself. You gasp when you feel his cock pull out of you harshly. Jungkook slips his one hand under you and flips you on your back. As you lay there, you watch as he pumps himself. He then aims his squirts of cum at your tits, and films as they land over your nipples. His breath is shakey from the relief and tiresome act and yours is the same. Except, you can’t help but let out a lewd giggle. 
Holy fuck, this was such a workout.
Like earlier, you take your finger and swipe some of his cum off your breast. Bringing it to your lips, you lick it and smile sweetly at him. He chuckles as he films it and you laugh. Really, you laugh for real. Then he laughs and offers you high-5. 
You laugh even harder, especially as you recall this being your reward. Even though it’s childish, you accept his gesture and feel special. Slamming your hand onto his, you lock them together and tug him towards you. He ends the recording just before he collapses on you. 
After all that, finally, you two share a kiss. 
A deep, soft, and much-needed kiss. 
The addiction to you was no different than an adrenaline junkie getting ready to jump off a cliff. No, there was no turning back. 
Your lips were addictive. The sweetness of everything your body would give him—it was like a fucking reward. Every saliva exchange, every drip from your pussy, to every tear shed while he digs himself deeper and deeper into you… He wants them all. 
As sick as it sounds, he’d lick it all up just to have you in him even more. Just to be close to you. Just to be closer. 
Every inch of you, he wants to devour. 
Like a starved man, he’d fall to his knees and beg for an ounce of kindness. A chance to satisfy you—a simple kiss, deepened by the second. Hands intertwined as you spread your legs for him as he places himself in between. 
As he leans his forehead against yours, he sneaks in a few pecks. “I can’t believe we have a sex tape.”
You roll your eyes. “Perv.” 
“You consented,” he sings happily. “Do you want me to delete it?”
You shake your head as he makes himself comfortable. “No… Send it to me later though. I miss you sometimes too.” 
A hearty chuckle escapes his lips as he snuggles into your embrace. You wrap your arms around him. Jungkook digs his face into his favourite spot—aside from your pussy—the cook of your neck. 
Sometimes. 
You miss him sometimes?
That’s a funny way of saying always. 
The muffled sound of music blasting downstairs and people chatting becomes evident. Yet, you two stay silent. Laying together, fingers and legs intertwined. Naked. 
When was it ever this easy? Why did this feel so right? Being with Jungkook has never been difficult—but when was it like this? When did things change? The sudden realization of the words you said while you two were intimate hit you. Were you really his girl? Did you want to be? Would he accept you if you asked?
Not only that but—when did you… When has it…
When did this begin?
These feelings.
There’s a tightness in your chest you can’t explain. Something that has been around for a while now. Long enough that you don’t remember when it first occurred and began to glow whenever he was around. What the fuck is up with that? 
As he fucked you tonight, that’s all you felt. Your heart was glowing. The closeness with him—regardless of how nasty—it was so special. It felt so good and like nothing you’ve ever felt. As you trace random things on his back with your nails, you hear him murmur, “mhmm… Yup. I love it when you do this, ___.”
It startles you.
When did you begin doing this? Being so intimate with him? Scratching his back, drawing hearts with your fingernails… When did this all happen? He says it like this isn’t the first time you’ve done it. Then, it gets hot. Suddenly, you notice how sweaty you two are and how it’s way too comfortable in his bed with him. You sit yourself up, causing him to follow. 
“I’m glad you came.”
“Pun intended?”
Jungkook pinches your cheeks and presses a kiss on your nose. “Whatever you want.”
You shove him away and get up from his bed. At least, you attempt to. 
Your legs feel shaky. He quickly holds you by the waist and catches your stumble. Looking up at him, you huff. “Look at what you did!”
“What?” he panics. 
“Jungkook, I can’t fucking walk!” You begin to freak out. “How am I supposed to go downstairs and act normal? Yuna is gonna ask so many questions and—”
“Relax,” Jungkook sets you down on his bed. “I got you.”
You sit and pout as he heads to his bathroom. When he returns, he has a black shirt and pants on. He holds a damp towel and collects your clothes off the floor. Jungkook kneels in front of you and begins to pat wipe your sweaty skin. First, your forehead, neck, and then he uses a face towel to wipe his cum off your breast. Then, he continues to pat dry your arms and in between your legs. 
Without exchanging words, he helps dress you. The entire time, he was careful and used a soft tone whenever he did speak. For the most part, he just looked at you lovingly. That look in his eyes… You know in your heart you will never forget. 
When you’re all dressed, a good enough time has passed for you to recover. Not fully, but just enough. Jungkook helps you get up and you hiss at the initial soreness. 
“Round two?” 
You hit his chest and roll your eyes. “You’re fucking insane, you know that?”
“Insanely hot?”
“Whatever you want.”
He isn’t sure what to do. 
You laugh it off, but he doesn’t. He can’t. He doesn’t know how. As you two look into each other's eyes, he feels his heart race. 
He should just say it, right? It’s easy. 
Spit it out.
___, do you want to go out with me?
Or should he do a whole confession?
___, we’ve been doing this for a while now… And I think I’ve grown an unhealthy attachment to you. I miss you when I’m not with you. When I’m with you, I never want the moment to end. Being close to you has to be my favourite part of living. 
But when he opens his mouth to speak—
“Should we go downstairs? I need water.” 
He blinks. 
“Y-yeah,” Jungkook reaches for the door. Then, as he turns the door knob, he stops himself. “One more kiss, please.”
Without a fight, you tiptoe and kiss him. Smiling into the kiss, he leans more into it and gropes your ass. You hit his chest playfully, signaling him to pull away. With great sadness, he does so. 
“I’ll go out first.”
Your words cut him deeper than a knife. 
Right.
You two aren’t dating.
You two are just fucking—in secret, at that. 
“Why can’t we leave together?” he asks, sounding a little desperate. “You said it yourself. You don’t really care if people know or not… I doubt anyone will even care.”
Shrugging, you nod. “Sure,” you answer him. “I’m not trying to hide us or anything… I just don’t really want to be questioned… But, considering I can’t really walk right now…”
He laughs, feeling like he saved himself from sadness. 
“Can we hold hands?”
You give him a face. “Don’t push it.”
“But you said—”
“I was drunk!”
Jungkook laughs, as he opens the door. Stepping out together, he locks his bedroom door as you continue bantering. Pushing past everyone in the hall, he can’t help but feel a sense of relief. 
It was a small thing. Leaving the room together and even suggesting to hold hands—it was a long shot but here he was.
With you.
Lingering fingertips and all. 
As you two head down the stairs, you’re immediately greeted by the smell of alcohol and sweaty bodies. Jungkook leans into your ear and whispers, “ahh… See? We’re blending right in.” 
He’s talking about smelling like sweaty sex. 
You bring your hands to your face, covering yourself and the shyness that rushes to your cheeks. He laughs and you hit his chest for the nth time tonight. 
“Why are you covering your face? It’s like I didn’t just see you naked. Like I didn’t fuck you—”
“Oh my god!” you cover his mouth and look around to see if anyone heard what he said so bluntly. “I know I said I don’t care if people knew but can you relax? Don’t be so proud you fucked me.”
“Why shouldn’t I be?” Jungkook says sincerely. “Do you have any idea how admired you are?”
“So I’m a prize?” you laugh. “What a joke.”
Jungkook gawks at you. 
“Do you have any idea how hard I’d try to win you if this was the fucking hunger games? I’d die for you.”
You snort. “Did you even read the series—”
“No,” he snickers. “But you get what I mean, right?”
“Not really…” you trail, turning your head in an attempt to avoid eye contact. You aren’t too sure where this conversation was heading and perhaps you aren’t ready for whatever he has to say next. “Can we—”
“I won’t get all gushy and all because you’re going to get all self-conscious and then retort by saying I have post-sex feelings—but just know you’re it. The standard. A prize. Endgame.. All of it. You’re it.”
Too stunned to speak, your lips curve into a small smile. “Jungkook—”
“___!”
You and Jungkook turn your heads and see Yuna approaching with Taehyung. She smiles brightly, practically throwing herself at you. You catch her, hug her, and tilt your head in confusion as Taehyung whispers something in Jungkook’s ear. 
Jungkook lowers his gaze at you, gulping as Taehyung finishes his exchange and steps away. Then, Taehyung offers you a short lived smile. 
“Hey, ___. How are you?” Taehyung’s voice is calm and sweet… It’s so opposite from how suspicious he’s acting.
“Good…” you say with your eyebrow raised. “What’s going on?”
Yuna tugs on your arm. “Nothing!” She sneers at Taehyung and gives him a warning look. “Way to be discrete.”
“You said to follow your lead! You aren’t doing much so I—”
“You’re the worst partner in crime ever!” Yuna scolds him.
You shake your head at the two, feeling at home with their bickering. Taehyung and Yuna act like such a married couple most of the time they’re together—you were used to it at this point. In between their bickering, you glance at Jungkook who hasn’t taken his eyes off of you. 
For some reason, you can’t make out what the look on his face is. He didn’t look happy, but he didn’t look sad either. He wasn’t angry… He looked… Eager? Worried? In agony?
“You okay?” you ask, moving away from Yuna and to Jungkook’s side. He slides his arms around your waist. You let him. 
Pulling you close, his lips shape into a pout. You cup his cheeks and squish them together. “Jungkook?”
“Wanna go back upstairs?” he suggests, resting his face on the palm of your hands. “Wanna get out of here? I’m suddenly not in the mood.”
“To what? Party?”
“To be anywhere without you.”
“But I’m here.” You reason.
He shakes his head, insisting something else. “But not you’re here with me… You know?”
You do know. 
“S-sure,” you agree even though a part of you feels hesitant. Not that you don’t want too.. More like you’re nervous and afraid of what it’ll lead to. More feelings? More sex? You don’t think you can go another round. “Where should we—”
“___ baby!” 
Your head turns to your name being called by a familiar voice. 
From the corner of your eyes, you see Taehyung and Yuna exchange disappointed looks. Just as you’re about to ask what’s going on, Seokjin and Eunwoo approach you. 
“Eunwoo,” you greet warmly. You step away from Jungkook and hug him. 
“You haven’t been answering my texts… Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you,” he whines like a child. You laugh lightly and tiptoe to ruffle his hair. Though it’s only been a few months, he hasn’t changed. He still acts like a lost puppy. “Jungkook, what’s up?”
Jungkook dabs Eunwoo up with low effort. You give him a confused look, wondering why he was acting all sulky all of the sudden. From what you recall, these two are friends. As Eunwoo greets Yuna and Taehyung, Seokjin greets you rather drunkenly. Then, he excuses himself to piss. Everyone rolls their eyes at his behaviour but let him do what he needs to.
“Can we talk?” Eunwoo asks bluntly. His question breaks the ice, but wins a wide-eyes from you all.
You tilt your head. “What about?”
“Us.”
Instantly, Jungkook feels like he’s being punched in the face. No, he wishes he was being punched in the face. Being punched in the face would be more enjoyable than standing here in between you and Eunwoo.
He has only tried a handful of times to ask and understand what happened between you and Eunwoo, but he never pressed it. Right now, he wishes he had. If he had, maybe he wouldn’t feel so threatened right now. But he didn’t and he does. Jungkook clenches his jaw, trying his best to mask his feelings. 
Was there still something between you and Eunwoo? Were you still texting him? Is Eunwoo who you’re with when you’re not with him?
All these thoughts and self-doubt flood Jungkook’s mind. 
It sinks and his insecurities make a home as you nod politely and follow Eunwoo away from the crowd. Away from him.
Not even a goodbye?
As you slip away, Jungkook sighs. How did you do that? He feels disappointed and hurt—offended even. How dare you pick someone else over him? Though no feelings between you two were expressed or exchanged in a way where commitment and exclusivity would be the trade-off—still, this wasn’t fair.
How could you walk away? Like it was easy? Like you weren’t just with him seconds ago?
It aches.
It hurts so bad that it even his anger is weak. 
No matter how much he wants to—he can’t blame you. 
He never asked you out.
“I like the way you look at her,” Yuna comforts Jungkook by patting his back. 
“Huh?” Jungkook snaps out of his thoughts. “What do you mean? Look at who?”
Yuna nudges him and gives him a ‘you’ve got to be kidding me,’ look. Then, she explains herself. “I always knew you were nice. Taehyung talks about the shit you put up with and the things you do to please people… Like how you joined the team again after they begged you to even though you felt burnt out… How you always limit your drinking so you’re sober enough to walk ___ home. How you come over and take care of her when she’s piss drunk and probably gave you a hard time—”
Jungkook’s eyes get shifty. “How do you know about that—”
“Doesn’t matter. She didn’t tell me shit, though. She doesn’t know I know and we’re going to keep it that way.” Yuna pokes Jungkook’s chest. 
He furrows his brows. “Why does everything have to be a secret when it comes to ___?”
Yuna doesn’t have an answer for him. Instead, she continues her little speech.
“You’re a nice guy… But to ___, you’re kind. It’s in your gaze. It’s in the way you always offer yourself to her. It’s in the way you’re her friend above all else—I’m so thankful you’re who you are when you’re with her. You look at her like she’s your entire world… I don’t know if you even know that—but that’s how you look at her. You look at her and it’s… It’s like she’s the only person in the world.”
Jungkook hates the words Yuna speaks. Partly because they’re all true and partly because he doesn’t know what to do after. Yuna squeezes his shoulders and he feels like he could cry. 
“Can you tell her I’ll be in my room? Waiting for her?” Jungkook pleas.
Yuna nods and excuses herself to find you in the crowd. You’re throwing your head back, laughing at whatever Eunwoo whispered in your ear. When Yuna approaches you and passes the message, you find Jungkook’s eyes from across the room. 
You smile at him and wave. 
He stands still, not knowing what to do. Before you know it, you watch him pick up his feet and head back upstairs. He doesn’t look back.
Yuna did tell you he’d be in his room… So that’s probably where he’s headed. In your mind, you make a mental note to go upstairs and figure things out with Jungkook in ten minutes. 
You’ll give Eunwoo ten more minutes... The rest of the night can be for Jungkook. 
Upstairs, Jungkook sits on the edge of his messy bed. Knees to his chest, he thinks about how fucked up everything got in a matter of moments. Did it really just take one conversation with your ex to lose you as quickly as he got you? Is this the reality of being a fuckbuddy?
He hates it. 
Jungkook clenches his fits, recalling the words Taehyung said to him. 
“Eunwoo’s tryna get back together with ___… I don’t know why it’s so important to Yuna but she said she tried to talk him out of it. Yuna said to get ___ out of here? Again, I don’t know why… I thought Eunwoo was Yuna’s favourite for ___ but I’m guessing not anymore…”
It was comforting to know that Yuna was on Jungkook’s side… But did it matter if you weren’t? You’re downstairs, talking and probably making plans to get back together with your ex.
Meanwhile, Jungkook sits in his room and waits until his eyes betray him. They flutter shut, falling asleep to the faint sound of your laugh downstairs and to the hope of you fulfilling a promise you never made.
In the morning, Jungkook wakes up and cries. He cries out of frustration and hurt. His heart feels heavy, like it could collapse and be broken. He has never felt so betrayed before.
And it’s pathetic because even then—especially then—he still waits for you.
2K notes · View notes
springalwayscomes · 9 months
Text
To love and pamper: Together
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Read to Love and Pamper here
Plot: You’re on the edge. Do the dishes, warm the milk, change diapers, cook lunch, try to get some sleep in between and start all over again; it’s taking you every part of yourself to try and be flawless in raising your daughter. Jungkook is here by your side though; why can’t you just lean on him?
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Angst, fluff, Established Relationship, Parenthood
Wordcount: 3.7k
Content Warning: swearing
Author’s Note: Hello! They are back🥺 I loved writing To love and pamper so much that I had to write a part two. Take this as a gift for our Bangtan’s 10 years!💜 I hope everyone of you is staying healthy and happy these days.
The gif is not mine, it belongs to @jung-koook.
Let me know if you want to be part of my taglist so I can tag you when my new works come out!
Tumblr media
Early mornings with Jungkook taste like strawberries, extremely sweet. Maybe it’s the way he holds you unconsciously in his sleep, or the way his hot breath delicately hits your face, but it makes you never want to leave. The soft glow coming from the dim light on your nightstand is long gone, the rays of the sun coming from the window slowly took up over the darkness during the night, they touch Jungkook’s features gently, careful as if not to wake him up.
His lips parted, eyes shut and cheeks full, soft snoring. You kicked him tonight, just enough to make him stop snoring too loudly for you to sleep, for at least a bit. It helped until he started again. You wonder why when you have to get up he suddenly starts to snore less, as if to play with you. It makes you want to dive right back between the sheets before you even got out.
You sigh, looking over at Baram. They say that things will be getting better in a bit, that it will be easier, you just have to get used to it. You love her, totally, wholeheartedly, with all of you. But sometimes it just gets unbearable. This is new to you, the both of you. Jungkook is doing better, even though there are still times when he breaks down. It happens to you too, but usually you don’t let yourself slip too much. It’s just that you’re scared; she’s so tiny, so fragile and vulnerable, so defenceless and you have to teach her how to face the world, you have to protect her and lead her through it all, when even you yourself still kind of don’t know how to.
Jungkook’s arms squeeze you tighter, as if he heard your thoughts. It makes you smile, your heart calming for a bit. He still has his eyes closed, his brows furrowed and lips pouting.
«Don’t go» he murmurs, voice low and sleepy. He nuzzles his nose into your neck, sending shivers to your spine as his hair tickle your skin. Your hand reaches them, playing with the strands, his lips leave pecks, soft ones that hold an incredible amount of love, too much even, for this early hours of the day.
It’s comforting, to feel his warmth around you and his hands on your body.
«I have to clean up» you’re not really prone to leave the bed either, but you still try to.
«I can do it later» he whines, holding you tighter. His fingers caress your back, kisses getting down on your shoulder. His hair are disheveled and you know that yours are too, all over the place.
«You have rehearsals,» you let out «and Baram is going to wake up in a bit and I won’t be ready»
«What time is it?» his grumpy voice sends a weird shiver down your spine. You glance at your phone on the nightstand, eyes narrowing to protect themselves from the light of the screen.
«Seven and ten» you let him know. Though it doesn’t look like the new information is going to change anything for Jungkook.
«Please, wanna cuddle» he pleads, eyes shut, his digits digging into your skin.
«Kook, I don’t have time for it. It’s the only time I can do things without having to check on Baram, when she’ll wake up I won’t be able to-»
«You’re so noisy» he complains. You let out a huff, trying to get out of his grasp.
«Kook, let go. You can sleep more, just let me go» If only his arms weren’t so strong you wouldn’t have any problems.
«Not gonna» he mumbles. You sigh annoyed.
«Then don’t, but let me go anyway!»
You didn’t mean to, but you raise your voice a little too much. It echoes in the room and you pray every single god that was ever worshipped tha-
Baram breaks out in a cry, loud and angry, incredibly so. For a moment, you still. Suddenly getting up doesn’t feel so electrifying anymore. You force yourself to do it, though. Leave the warm sheets and the soft mattress, sit up and-
«I’ll take her» Jungkook stops you with a hand on your back, a second later he’s already up and standing beside her cradle.
You watch him bend down and narrow his eyes at her, cheeks stained with the lines of the fabric of his pillow and face totally sleepy. He cooes at her, taking her in his arms as carefully as he possibly can. He lulls her a little as he makes his way back to your bed, Baram still crying desperately in his hold.
You sigh and lift the covers.
«Where are you going?» his big eyes skim over your body, upper half covered in one of his shirts, definitely too big for you, legs displayed only for him to see.
«Getting her paci and the diapers» you announce. Jungkook shakes his head.
«She just needs her pacifier, she didn’t poo»
«She will soon!» you tell back. Jungkook huffs, letting you do your thing. This is not the right moment to pick up a fight, even if it’s a little one. With Baram in his arms, his top priority has to be her. So he lulls her, sings a bit at her and wipes her unstopping tears with his thumb, only that finger taking up more than half of her face.
You come back in a minute, pacifier in your hands and a new pack of diapers in the other, wipes blocked between your chest and the inside of your arm. As soon as the pacifier goes into her mouth all of her worries fade away, too distracted with the new element in her mouth. You watch her features soften, face from angry red going back to a pure sweet pink; and so does your heart. With seeing her easing, seeing her stop her cries. It might be the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but god, do you love her. It’s in moments like this that you realise how lucky you are, when you see her calm down and realise that yes, you’ve got this, at least for now.
Jungkook let’s out a heavy breath, still lulling her from time to time. He gets up slowly and does the same as he walks, afraid that even the slightest hint of movement will disturb your 4 months old baby. He walks in circles, arms swinging from side to side gently and eyes never leaving her face. They look like out of a fairytale, out of a movie. It makes your stomach twist and turn with love, suddenly overwhelmed to the point that a smile graces your features. You watch from afar, his dark locks have become too long to not get in the way of his eyesight, hanging down as he looks at the same eyes as his, closed in a silent sleep. You can’t see his expression because of the strands of his hair, but his smile is contagious. Every time he looks at her, god, the world makes sense. Finally. And to believe that such a beautiful creature, a fragile little soul that still has to go a long way, was made by you and him; that thought renders him breathless all the time.
He walks back to her cradle, carefully laying her down and back under the covers. You let out a sigh of relief and head out of the bedroom, straight to your kitchen. There are so many things to do that you lost count. It’s not like your kitchen is one of those where there’s dirt on the floor and too many piles of dishes in the sink, but it’s not exactly clean either; with Baram waking up every two to three hours of the night your sleep schedule has become a nightmare, both yours and Jungkook. You start to do something, then feel the need to rest, take a nap and go back to do what you were doing, but things like making lunch and dinner or do the laundry, things you cannot actually postpone, take over most of the day. And then there’s work, Jungkook’s and yours. Your schedules have been remade and remade several times to help yourselves with your daughter, but even with all your efforts you always end up extremely tired. Jungkook has rehearsals on his own most of the time, the times he chooses usually don’t fit with the others because of their schedule, so they end up meeting once a week to rehears all together. He still has to go to the outside meetings, wether it is an interview, a new project or a shoot; not all the time, but a great number. It doesn’t happen every day, but three to four days of the week he’s working. You’re okay with it, after all he can’t just say no to his job, you wouldn’t want him to, you know he loves it.
It’s the same for you, after all. Its just that you’re not required to be in a studio to work, at least not one like his. You have one at home, your paintings and the smell of clay filling both the space and the air. So your days go by, busy and stressful but full with love and adoration for your little one.
«What are you doing?» Jungkook is standing at the kitchen door, hair disheveled and eyes still not used to the light of the morning. You didn’t hear him coming out.
«The dishes» you say. He gulps, lips pouty and hands aching to hold you.
«Please come back to bed» he pleads still from the doorway. With how you sigh though, his ministrations seem to change, steps shortening the distance between you and him. He stops behind you, arms on their way to your waist before you block him with your next words.
«I don’t have time to lose, Jungkook»
«You consider it a loss of time to spend some time with me?» He’s annoyed. You can hear it in his voice, how sharp it sounds.
«You know I don’t mean it that way» you shake your head, grabbing another dish from the sink.
«Do you?» his question makes you turn. Eyes gazing at him, his face scrunched up as he’s thinking hard on something. Brows furrowed and lips pouty again, eyes focused in yours.
«It’s been what, two weeks since we last cuddled? Or when we went out together? When I come to bed most of the nights you’re already asleep and-»
«Cause I’m tired?»
«Yes, I am too Y/N»
«Great, welcome to the team» your answer makes him grimace, but it gets worse when you add: «What do you want me to do, spend the only free time I have laying on the bed and doing nothing?»
Jungkook suddenly feels like a cold jet of water is getting sprayed on him. Cheeks burning and blood hot, both angry and hurt. Something deep inside him stings, burns and bends, twisting in all the ways as it tries to break and come out unfiltered.
«Are dishes more important than us? Really?» Your eyebrows raise up.
«When did I ever said that?»
«You’re doing it now» he scoffs.
«Is it so hard for you to relax, just a bit?»
«I’m not! I’m just saying that this is the only moment I have to just-»
«It’s the only moment we’re together too!» he raises his voice a bit, eyebrows furrowed and eyes glassy, lips pouty. He gulps harshly.
«We’re always busy, is it so hard to just spend some time together?» his voice is trembling, as if he’s on the verge of breaking. It stops your breath, a big tight knot fills up all the space in your throat, your hands drying themselves on your trousers.
«We do it, Jungkook» your voice softens as you let out your words. They make Jungkook’s head shake slowly, he lowers his gaze and fixes it on the ground.
«I just miss you» he whispers. The hurt is clear in his voice, shoulders dropping. You feel your heart tighten, fingertips aching to caress his soft cheeks just at looking at him like this.
«Kook, I’m sorry…» you breathe out, guilt taking over you.
Jungkook hates this. Hates that you don’t spend together as much time as you used to; he knew it was about to happen with the birth of Baram, but still he hates it anyway. He doesn’t blame it on her, because why would he, he could never even if he tried to. But still, he hates it. He misses it, craves for your touch, craves for your caresses, your warmth around him, the feeling of having you close not just in a sexual way but in whatever way possible. He misses spending evenings on the sofa under the covers, soft and sweet kisses layered on each other’s skin in silence and between low giggles, as if they were meant just for the two of you, a little secret fuelling love to your hearts.
«I… I miss you» Jungkook sighs, low and barely hearable, shoulders down and eyes on the ground. Your heart sinks deeper into your chest, heavy and sad at the look on his face. You feel your throat tightening, your eyes sting. You don’t want him to feel abandoned or not important enough, never. But there’s just- too much. Too much things to take care of, too many things to do and to look after, too much effort to try and anticipate the next move, to take care of everything, to be careful about being wrong, that you’re just-
«I know baby, and I’m sorry» you nod, «but I don’t know how to- I’m- I’m just-» your voice trembles and suddenly you’re crying. Crying in sobs, like a little baby, like Baram would.
Jungkook’s arms wrap around you, instantly and so tight it makes you tremble with vulnerability. It’s like a second instinct, to kiss your hair as his fingers dig into your back, careful and pampering.
«I’m sorry» you hiccup, your tears wetting his shirt. You feel so bad for making him feel like this. You spent your time trying to keep everything under control, everything in check and always ready, anticipating every move and every cry, trying to be ready in every condition and situation, you didn’t think-
«It’s okay» he whispers, another kiss lays on your head, «I’m sorry- I’m so sorry baby» he snuffles, shaking his head. His eyes burn, his lips move desperately in pouts, trying to hold back the tears, eyes shut. God, he’s so inconsiderate. So fucking inconsiderate and selfish. You gave birth to another human. You are tired. You’re trying your best. You’re stressed. Trying to have everything under control. And he’s here, complaining about you not cuddling him.
«I’m so sorry, please don’t cry» he snuffles again, voice shaky.
«I’m- I care so much about- y-you» you sob, nuzzling into him. Jungkook wants to drown himself in your tears. His heart swells and shrinks at the same time.
«I know, I know» he shakes his head.
«I should’ve- been more considerate, you- you-» you hold him tighter.
«No, you’re right,» you mumble against his shirt «I was just- so- I feel like I have to be careful of everything and I’m- I’m burning out»
Jungkook knows. He can see it, every time that you anticipate your next moves or the ones of your baby, every time that you let go he can see it that you’re not fully relaxed, that you’re on the edge. But he is here too, he is part of this too. And it makes him feel bad that you don’t rely on him just as half as you rely on yourself. He is your man, your person, your lover and you shouldn’t be the only one burdened; even if he is too, he doesn’t want you to think that you have to hold it all together.
«Rely on me» he snuffles.
«I do it already»
«You don’t do it enough» he lays a kiss on your forehead, and you feel wetness on your skin. He must’ve lost his battle with the tears and gave up at some point. When you raise your glance his eyes are puffy, red with tears and oh, so incredibly deep. It’s like looking at two ponds, so clear and majestic that for a second you lose your focus. His dimples show up as he gulps, trying to gain back his sobriety, cheeks wet.
«Stop holding it all in» Jungkook sniffs and his lips twitch, his voice is shaking and you can feel your heart being wrapped tightly by a fist and being desperately squeezed.
«Let- let it out, you- let it out on m- me» he’s on the verge of breaking, holding back the new tears as they pool into his eyes.
«Ple- please» and so he does. He sobs, and you lose it too. Seeing him so fragile, broken, something snaps inside of you.
«I- I hate not being ab-able to take it away from yo-u» he sobs, lips trembling, fingers digging into your back.
«We chose this to- together» he hiccups, his nose digs into your neck, runny and wet.
«You are- you’re the most- important thing. You and Ba- Baram. I’m part of this too, just- why can’t you let go? I… I- give me some weight»
«I can do it- I know I can but- you won’t let me. Baby, I love you- I-»
You’ve never seen Jungkook so broken. You’ve seen him cry, many times actually, but like this, never. You hate it. All the pain, all the tears, you wish you could take them from him and make them yours, make it all go away. You squeeze him so tight you’re afraid you will leave him breathless, fingers digging into his skin and lips on his neck, kissing away the problems. Then, you realise. And god, it makes you want to slap yourself in the face.
He must be feeling like this. Just the same as you do. It’s unbearable to see him hurting and not being able to do anything about it, but that’s what you’ve been doing all this time too. You wanted to do your best and ended up trying but left him out, only focusing on Baram most of the times.
«I love you so much- that… I don’t know , sometimes when- I feel like I will explode when I look at you, I- I love you that much. Baram is our- our daughter and we’re a family and I’m- I just want to be a good dad-»
«You are, Jungkook» you whisper.
«You are, baby. I’m so sorry, I was-» you shiver and his hands dig deeper into your back.
«I was just on the edge cause I’m not used to this. It’s still all new and I- I just wanted it all to be perfect and I tried so hard that- I lost sight of us. I was so focused, I-»
«It’s not just us» he murmurs on your neck
«It’s you too. I hate seeing you like this, cause- I know you and when I tell you to- when I tell you to relax I don’t do it just for us, I know you need it too. Your brain has to stop working and- you have to know that there’s someone going through this with you»
«Like- earlier, why can’t you just lay down and relax? I know- know that Baram is a lot to handle and she need attention but- you need it too. You need to take care of yourself cause I- I would be…» his hiccups get muffled by your neck, and you feel his lips tremble on your skin. He lays a kiss on it, shaking and shivering.
«I would be lost without you. Totally- lost. Please. Just- I will wash the dishes, fuck the dishes. If they stay there, what? So what? I want us to be fine, I want you to feel supported and support me but if you don’t let me, I- I can’t»
«Please, just… let me help. It hurts, it hurts a lot not to be able to be of any help to my family. Love, I-»
«I’m sorry» you whisper again, tears wetting your cheeks. You cut him out, and you didn’t even realise it. You wanted to be the best for your daughter and ended up only counting on yourself and making him feel useless most of the times.
«I promise you, I promise I will try my best- to let go. I’m- I’m not doing the dishes, fuck the dishes» you hear him laugh lightly, a deep kiss layered down again on your skin.
«I didn’t realise what I was doing. I was just scared. She’s so fragile and little and I was so afraid of doing something wrong. I was selfish, I-»
«You weren’t. You were just scared» he kisses you again.
«We’re together» he whispers. You nod, face hiding in the crook of his neck.
«We’re together» you smile. You wipe your nose with the sleeve of your shirt, trying to hold back another hiccup.
«It’s alright now, ssh…» Jungkook holds you tighter, body against yours practically glued together. It doesn’t make you feel spaceless though, it makes you breathe. For the first time in months, you feel like you’re breathing again. Even with your runny nose and the tears on Jungkook’s cheeks, the both of you feel light now.
«I love you so much baby, you don’t even know» he whispers.
«I think I know» you kiss his shoulder. Jungkook smiles, his head leaving the the space of your neck and his starry eyes looking straight into yours. They’re still wet, but the tears have stopped coming out. A bit red, puffy from both the sleep and your cry.
«Come to bed? Until she wakes up. When she does-» he hiccups, «I’ll warm her milk and change her diaper. And the dishes, I’ll do the dishes and you can lay down a bit more? Do you want me to fill up the bathtub? We can take a bath when she falls asleep again»
«Love, breathe» you chuckle, looking at him and his endless rant. You look at him, and god, how lucky you are. That he loves you, and you love him. That he’s yours, you’re so happy he’s yours.
«Yes, that would be perfect» you smile.
Jungkook gulps, cheekbones raising and eyes filling with warmth and affection.
«Let’s go. I want to cuddle for at least two minutes. Do you think she will let us?»
Tumblr media
Taglist: @p-i-e-d-p-i-p-e-r
687 notes · View notes
jojosba · 7 months
Text
0 notes
neinyasficrecs · 1 year
Text
Angst rec 🥹😭😭
1 note · View note
alphabetboyluvr · 1 month
Text
the curious lifespan of migrating monarchs - jjk
Tumblr media
THE CURIOUS LIFESPAN OF MIGRATING MONARCHS (& other aurelian affairs)
pairing: streamer!jk x international student!female oc (s2l)
warnings: strangers to lovers, clubbing, foul language, alcohol, vaping lol, jungkook is kinda famous, the oc is oblivious, the oc is also a foreign student who has very recently arrived in Korea!! (pls note - while i've been in korean uni dorms, i've never been in yonsei dorms specifically so don't shout at me if it isn't supeeeerr accurate), jaykay is speaking in eng for like 90% of this!!, i've also never watched a gaming streamer and had to do so for research lmao so there's a lot of guesswork going awwwn <3, the oc has tattoos, they bond over this, cute nicknames (tokki and nabi <3), one bed trope?? kinda, jaykay lives w/ yoongi and tae (they are streamers too (and dj?? (tae is a bit unhinged))), jungkook wears calvins!, a singular appearance of yoongi in his boxers!!, tipsy hookup, fingering, protected sex (woo!), desk sex, oral (m receiving), girliepop swallows <3, brief mentions of jungkook's starry eyes, lots of kisses, bunny ears, (1) mention of cross-fit
wordcount: 13011
note from holly: this was a commission done for the lovely Michelle over on my kofi page!! i don't open commissions often, but when I do I'm very lucky that the requests are so much fun. this actually ended up being way longer than it was supposed to be lol and is also available on wattpad!! also fun facts for you - I imagine the boys apartment (and jks room!) to be same as jk + jimins place in BD, just a little bigger lmao
minors dni // cross posted to wattpad
Tumblr media
CLUB SUNDOWN WAUSAN-RO, HONGDAE SATURDAY 02:24
Time ceases to exist after the sun goes down in Seoul. It could be two, or it could be five. The only thing that really clues you in on the actual time is the DJ schedule that lights up behind the decks: 02:00-03:00, Blu-Tae.
It's some guy you've never heard of. Looks no older than you. Probably a student, just like the rest of the crowd.
His hair is as blue as his namesake, which does make you smile, and his choices aren't bad either (even if somewhat questionable). You've never heard a jazz remix of Darude's Sandstorm before, and you doubt you ever will again.
Club Sundown is just as rogue as the rest of the city after the sun goes down. Hidden in the basement—like all the best places in Seoul are—the small room is packed to the absolute brim.
Who cares for views and sunsets offered by rooftop bars when you could lose yourself in the debauchery of an eternal midnight, instead?
Drinks are spilt on strangers, and dances have lost the grandeur of old-fashioned waltzes. It's not like you could dance properly, even if you wanted to. There's just simply no space.
Like Alice, you're down the rabbit hole—and oh, how you prefer it to being in the real world. In the shadows, you can be anyone you like.
If you were sober, you'd know this is also the case for daily life. You're in a new country with no ties to your former self. Who you are is who you choose to be.
But the shadows aren't all that dark. The red lights of the club bleed into the cracks, painting everyone in the same subtle hue of danger.
They shine a little light on the identifiers of you; the thin black lines of your patchwork tattoos. Trailing up your arm, they're memories of your past selves, and an indicator of who you hope to become.
"Down this," you say to your dormmate, Rae, handing back over the drink you've just ordered from the bar. "Cloakroom, then dance."
Still carrying your winter coats, you'd wanted to check the place out before committing to it. Entry is free, but the cloakroom is the same price as a drink. It would only be worth putting your coats away if you knew you wanted to stay—and given the fact the DJ was playing O-Zone's Dragostea Din Tei as you entered, you know it's a no-brainer. While his stage name might make you roll your eyes a little, Blu-Tae certainly does cater to your tastes. When you're drunk, and music vibrates through you, it's empyrean. No place you'd rather be.
"Oh, Jesus," Rae gags as she sips the drink you've just handed her. Despite her disgust, she's laughing. Head to toe in black, dark hair loose around her shoulders, she's been your ride-or-die since you arrived in Seoul. Both international students in the same dorm, there's no one you'd rather get up to no good with. "Vodka?!"
You beam at her like you're from the heavens above, wrongfully relegated to the depths of sin. Pretend like you love vodka. It's totally not like you panicked when you saw the menu was all in Korean.
Vodka-coke is a universally understood delicacy—the easiest thing for you to order without making a tit of yourself or butchering the pronunciation. When the bartender ignored your botched attempt at ordering in Korean and answered in fluent English, you'd wanted to melt into the floor. So embarrassing.
You're here, like most foreign students, for a language course. Semester is yet to start, and as much as you've studied and practised hard, it's always different when putting it into practice.
"I'm sorry," you laugh. "It's fine—you can order next time!"
But Rae has the exact same predicament as you. If anything, your language skills are better than hers, so you really have no hope. It's vodka-cokes for the evening, or maybe highballs. Once your tipsy brain manages to compute hangul cocktail names, you'll be golden, but that won't be for another few weeks, yet.
You'll look back at this time of your life fondly, realising how simple it all was, even if it feels incredibly overwhelming right now.
Funnily enough, hope is exactly what you have: for the semester ahead, for this new life you're forging, for the opportunities that may come your way.
In fact, by the time you're on your third vodka coke, you've managed to convince yourself you actually like it. You also can't taste it, thanks to the bartender freepouring a 60-40 ratio of vodka to coke in the first drink. Your tastebuds were wiped out pretty much instantly.
Coats in the cloakroom, you're glad to be wearing thin layers. The room is stuffy; your skin sweaty. While meeting new friends had been the goal, you keep to yourself. Dance like nobody is watching. Hold Rae's hands to stay close and ward off weirdos. Quickly realise that clubs back home are slightly different. Pay it no mind. Ignore the intrusions of hands on waists, because men, disappointingly, are no different.
Or at least most of them aren't.
But most of them don't look like the man in the corner booth, laughing with his friends.
Though he is tall, he's eclipsed by his demeanour. Shoulders broad, he's in a dark T-shirt and pair of jeans. Nothing special. Nothing that warrants such a perplexed stare from you - but he's familiar. You can't place him, but he's got the kind of face you swear you've seen before.
Rae doesn't notice the change in your poise, nor how you're desperately trying to work out where you know him from. Perhaps you've seen him around your university? It's only been a couple of weeks, but people are steadily moving in. Maybe he works at the convenience store you constantly find yourself in? Or mans the front desk of the noraebang you and Rae visit pretty much every other evening?
Impossible, you think. If you'd seen him before, you wouldn't have forgotten him, or the way he constantly toys with his lip rings. Plural. There are signs up around the place stating bar rules. NO SMOKING is rule number three. You've seen his friends pass him over a vape a handful of times. Anyone else, and you'd think it was cringe. Embarrassing.
But in the midst of his laughter settling, and a fresh toke being inhaled, his eyes flicker towards yours.
Perhaps it's just because you're drunk, but you don't avert your gaze. Show no shame. The smile on his lips sinks into a smirk as he exhales. An acknowledgement. A 'hello, trouble'.
Again, any other man, you'd find the vape smoke repugnant. Nasty. Now? Watching the way he flicks his tongue against his lip rings?
You wanna know how it tastes.
Black ink weaves an intricate outline of who he is up his arms. Where he's been. Who he's been. A map, if you will, of his soul.
Much like your own tattoos, he's got thick black lines, and little else. Simple, you assume. A man of convenience. Efficiency.
You wonder if he does everything in life with the precision to match his tattoos, and as your lips wrap around the straw of your vodka-coke, you decide you'd quite like to find out.
Interrupted by Rae pulling you deeper into the crowd, your night is spent in and out of shadows. Attempt subtlety. Try not to make your occasional glances to the corner booth noticeable, just checking if his eyes are still on you. More often than not, they aren't—but sometimes they are, and that's enough to fuel your little flirt.
It's not until the sign behind the DJ booth changes from 03:00-04:00, GLOSS into some other guy that you notice your staring contest opponent has slipped into the shadows himself. The booth is void of both him and his friends. Gone.
"GLOSS has a set at another club," Rae all but yells in your ear, and even then, you barely hear her. "All the hotties left when he did. Let's go."
"Where to?!" You laugh, empty cup in hand. Admittedly, the new guy who's stepped into the DJ booth is just not doing it for you. Blu-Tae was just the right amount of unhinged with classics, whereas GLOSS was definitely cooler, but still fun. Had the club yelling curse words over trap remixes just for the fun of it. This new guy, whose name you don't care to remember, takes himself too seriously, you think.
"It's, like, two blocks down," she yells back, tugging on your wrist to drag you to the stairwell that leads you back up to the streets of Seoul. The hustle and bustle of people trying to go in different directions in the tight place forces you apart, but you figure you'll catch up with her, or that she'll be waiting at the top.
You don't know the roads well enough yet to make it to whichever club it's at alone, and quickly realise when you nearly tumble into the side of a waiting taxi that you're far drunker than expected. Knew the bartender was freepouring, but didn't realise just how free those pours really were.
"Woah, easy trouble," a deep voice sounds from behind you as you're steadied to a more stable position.
"I'm good, I'm good!" You insist, shaking off the hands of your 'saviour'. Have no interest in being a damsel in distress, or some sober guy trying to take advantage of you.
Looking down to check your laces are tied properly, you check over your shoulder to make sure the guy isn't creepily waiting for a thank you that he can turn into an intrusive game of 21 questions—'are you open-minded?' or 'do you live alone?'—but when you glance in his direction, you regret it. Notice the tattoos immediately. Recognise the eyes. Want to die.
"Oh."
"Oh," he says back with a smile, imitating you. Suddenly, the confidence you'd had earlier when looking at him from afar dissolves into nothingness, just like the alcohol in your bloodstream. You feel rather sober, but your body would definitely disagree. "You okay?"
"Yeah, yeah," you nod, suddenly a little stuck for words, desperately trying to play things cool. "Are you okay?"
The pouting of his lips as his tongue runs along the inside of his cheek only serves to make you internally cringe. Men who look like him have no business being on streets like this. Should be in a museum. Strung up on the walls with the other masterpieces. Admired by everyone who looks his way.
In a way you don't yet realise, he is.
Though he's not in galleries, he's often burning into people's laptop screens. Is the background of a fair few thousand lock screens. Indeed, he is admired by everyone who looks his way, just not in the traditional sense.
"I'm not the one who just fell into a car," he reminds you, as if you could forget your embarrassment so quickly.
"Was just seeing if you'd catch me," you bullshit, the confidence you usually have returning tenfold. Was just a momentary blip. He's just a man, after all.
"Oh?" He chirps, decidedly curious. "So you fell for me?"
"Stumbled."
"Semantics."
His fluency, and the fact he just said 'semantics' so casually in conversation, clues you in on the fact he might be a language student, too. 
Could be useful study partners for each other, you think, then mentally berate yourself for already masterminding ways to see him again.
"So, where you going?" He asks, not caring to downplay his curiosity. The bartenders were free-pouring his drinks just as severely as they poured yours. The only difference is that his were on the house—'cause you were right. He does have a recognisable face. "Should probably go with you. Make sure you don't fall into the road."
"Stumble," you insist, a little pleased with the boldness of his suggestion, but not wanting to blindly agree. "My friend," you say glancing around, only to find yourself completely alone. "She wanted to go catch the next GLOSS set. So, I guess that's where we're going."
"Just down the road," he says, knowing the schedule like the back of his hand. Bounces from club to club supporting his friends, just like they would for him. If he wanted, he could get a slot up there, too. He doesn't care for it. "I'll walk with you, if you want? My friends are heading there anyway."
It's not a bad offer.
In fact, it's probably the best offer you'll get all night.
"C'mon," he nods his head to the side, encouraging you to follow him. Checks his phone for the time. "Starts in five."
If there's one thing you've indulged in since moving to Seoul, it's how safe you always feel. Security cameras are on every corner, and you've walked home countless times without any issues, even late into the night. While the place isn't perfect, it's far safer than your home country.
Still, you're not a complete idiot.
"It's not wise to follow strange men down dark alleys," you tell him.
He holds out his hand. Waits for you to shake it. Cocks a brow when you hesitate, so introduces himself.
"Jungkook. Nice to meet you. Now, can we please hurry up? I promised I'd be there."
Narrowing your eyes, you don't shake his hand. Arms folded over your chest, there is ice to your exterior, and given how warm his eyes are, you doubt it'll last for very long. May as well keep up this hard-to-get act while you still can.
Walking on past him, you call back, "Alright then. Lead the way."
In the domed mirror meant for reversing cars at the end of a tight alley, you see him laugh. "Wrong way, idiot."
Pausing, you scrunch your face up. Don't turn to face him for at least a second or so—but when you do, you're surprised to see him walking towards you. Hooking his arm around your waist, he carries on walking in the 'wrong' direction, taking you with him.
"Was just fucking with you," he grins. Nods towards a sign by another basement entrance, listing both Blu-Tae and GLOSS.
By the door, Rae is looking around like a mother duck who's just lost some of her ducklings when crossing the road. Breathes a sigh of relief when she spots you.
"C'mon," she grins, then realises who you're with. Says nothing of it, 'cause she doesn't want to be weird, but she recognises him, too. Decides she's just had a little too much to drink. There's no way it's him. Holds out her hand for you.
Reaching out for her, you're let go from Jungkook's grip, ready to get lost in the lights once more.
Tumblr media
HAEJANG24 WAUSAN-RO, HONGDAE SATURDAY 05:53
Seoul is a city for the nocturnal. The restaurants and bars are open until the last men are standing. Given how much you've had to drink, you're surprised you still are.
Rae had dipped an hour or so ago. Had hit it off with Mr Blu-Tae himself. Seduced him with the suggestion that their couple name would be Blu-Rae. He'd said they should go to a DVD-bang. Would be fitting. See what Blu-rays were on file.
Naturally, you'd looked on with mild disgust and also admiration for how quickly she'd worked her magic. Everyone knows what goes down in DVD-bangs. Small private rooms, often with projector screens and the world's least comfortable futons, they're somewhere you hope to never end up—but also can't wait to hear all the details the next morning when Rae comes to your room for a debrief.
You'd been left under the surveillance of Jungkook.
"Look after her," Rae had instructed, then narrowed her eyes. "Or I'll destroy your reputation with a single twitter thread, Tokki."
It's a threat he's taken seriously. Knows how the internet works, and even though he's never done anything worthy of a cancellation, he also doesn't intend on starting now. The fact you seem to have no idea who he is during the daylight hours intrigues him. It's a rarity on streets like these.
Even when a few people asked for pictures with him on your walk to the hangover soup place, you didn't clock it as weird. Figured they were friends passing by, wanting to document their chance run-in. Just another memory of the night. The way Jungkook had greeted them was full of warmth, and kindness. Why wouldn't you assume they were mates?
You were also still incredibly drunk at the time, so didn't think to question it. Was keen for food, and Jungkook had insisted on hangover soup, and so that's where you are. Dishes nearly empty, far more of it eaten by him than you, you're laughing about nothing and everything all at once.
"Right," Jungkook declares, deciding he cannot hold in a question that's been tickling at his brain for the entire meal. "What the fuck is that?"
Coat left in the cloakroom, long forgotten about, your tattoos are on full display for him, just like his are for you. Up your arm they trail; a patchwork of teeny tiny identifiers. Latin phrases around skulls, birth flowers of the people you hold close, butterflies and stars. There's an ode to your favourite musician and your favourite Shakespeare quote, too. The fabric of you etched into your skin. There's no reinventing yourself, even half the world away from home.
You know precisely which tattoo Jungkook is asking about. You've asked yourself the same question a few times.
"Fuck off," you laugh.
While most of your tattoos are gorgeous, there's one that was done by a rogue artist on a girlie holiday a few years ago. What was supposed to be a seashell now looks like... well, nothing really. It's just a blob, thanks to the artist being absolutely terrible. The only solace you find in it is that your two best friends have an equally awful permanent reminder of that holiday on their bodies, too.
"It doesn't look how it's supposed to," you explain with a little pout. "I got royally screwed over."
He cocks a brow. You still haven't told him what it is. He isn't gonna ask you twice.
With a grumble, you feebly admit, "A shell."
And then he's laughing. Really laughing. Laughing so hard you think he might piss himself—which you'd actually prefer, because then he could be the embarrassed one, instead.
"I'm calling you Shelly from now on," he says with a broad smile. Has had his fair share of tattoo blunders, and knows you must've developed an affection towards how shitty it is. Would have gotten it covered up, otherwise. "That's incredible."
"You're calling me so such thing," you assure him, but you also can't help but laugh.
"I am," he tells you, then really solidifies it. "Shelly."
"Fuck off," you whine, doubling down. Scanning his arms, you try and pick out anything you can use against him, too. "If I'm Shelly, then you're Mike."
"Mike?!" He protests.
"Yeah," you insist, pointing towards the microphone on his forearm. "Mike."
"You are not calling me Mike. Do I look like a Mike?!"
"Do I look like a Shelly?!"
You've got a point. It's not the name he would have first associated with you - but it is cute, he thinks. Cute how mortified you seem. Cute how you can't help but smile.
After a little bit of back and forth, it's decided that neither of you look like your namesakes.
"Y'know, we kinda have matching tattoos," he says, holding out his arm for you to study. "Or at least, the placements."
And sure enough, below his elbow lives the outline of a bunny sitting on a crescent moon. Holding your own arm out next to his, below your elbow is a butterfly. Above it, is a teeny tiny moon.
Like Jungkook's moon, it's a crescent. Was supposed to symbolise new beginnings. You wonder what his means, but don't ask. Instead, you marvel at the coincidence of it all.
He presses his index finger against the butterfly on the inside of your forearm. The echoing chatter of the restaurant fades softly into nothingness as he says, "Nabi."
You nod. Even if you have spoken with him in English this entire time, it's nice to hear him speak in his mother tongue, no matter how minimal - so you reciprocate. Press your index finger against his bunny. Smile. Say, "Tokki."
It further confirms to Jungkook that you have no idea who he is. Has been a while since he's met a girl in a circumstance like this where that's the case. Likes the anonymity of it all. Is hiding his identity from you, and yet hasn't felt such vulnerability for years.
"Daltokki, right?" You continue, not wanting the silence to linger for too long. "The rabbit in the moon?"
You're not wrong, but you're also not entirely right.
"Yeah," he smiles regardless. "That's it."
Tumblr media
JUNGKOOK'S APARTMENT ITAEWON-DONG, YONGSAN-GU SATURDAY 07:12
"Shhh," Jungkook quietly laughs. 
His hand is over your mouth and the other is on your hip as he guides you into his apartment. With your back to his chest, you've both been giggling for the entire ride to his place.
He had insisted that he should walk you home, and was surprised by the offense you seemed to have taken by this. You then told him that he absolutely could not seduce you, and that it was very gender-role-conforming for him to think that you were incapable of getting home by yourself.
"Maybe I should be the one to make sure you get home safely," you had said with a false sense of concern, which had made him laugh quite considerably.
In all reality, you didn't mind him offering to get you home. You just hadn't tidied your room. Didn't really expect to be taking a boy back to your place, much less one that looks like him.
Together, you'd caught the early morning bus over to Itaewon instead of a taxi, 'cause you're still on a student budget and Jungkook wasn't quite ready to blow his cover just yet.
You've been teasing him—questioning his status as a potential International Super Spy—ever since he took your hand and guided you into one of the flashiest apartment complexes you've ever been in. There was security. Doormen. A passcode for the elevator—not to mention that he was heading up to the seventh floor once you were in it. Might not sound like much, but when there are only seven floors to the entire building, it makes it the penthouse by default.
"It's not a penthouse," he'd insisted. "Plus, I live with friends. Only pay a third of the rent."
But a third of his rent is more money than you'll probably see in three months of post-grad work. You're drunk, but you're not stupid. You also know that the rental market here differs significantly from your home country. Monthly rent is cheap, but the deposits are extortionate. Sure, he'll get it back when he leaves, but to have the initial money needed for a place like this? He's not a regular student, if one at all, that much is sure.
"Not sure who's home," Jungkook whispers as you both kick your shoes off in the entryway. Given the looks of the other shoes, it's clear that this is a guys-only living situation. You're proven right when he continues, "Betcha Tae's still in that damn DVD-bang, but Yoongi might be back."
"Yoongi?" You question.
"GLOSS," Jungkook says, remembering how oblivious you are to who he is. Reaching down to grab your shoes, he isn't gonna leave them by the door. Will take them to his room. Doesn't want the boys asking questions, if they are in. Knows they'll just use it as an excuse to publicly roast him whenever they're next online together.
Given that a stream is scheduled for Sunday night, he doesn't want to tempt fate.
Their current choice of wind-up, which the viewers have been eating up, is the joke that Jungkook is a virgin. He's not, but he never knows how to defend himself without sounding like a tool, so always gets a little awkward. A lot of their viewers love it. Join in on the joke. Some take it seriously. He doesn't care.
Next month, Taehyung will do something dumb, and he'll become the favourite joke for a while. Maybe Yoongi. But for now, it's Jungkook.
None of them take it to heart. They're just a group of friends who share their gaming hangouts online, and accidentally made it to the top of the ranks.
They aren't particularly good at gaming, but that's part of the charm. Crescent Collective is how they're known: Blu-Tae, GLOSS and Tokki.
After a bet went wrong, and they all lost, they ended up with moon tattoos and their respective 'symbols'. Jungkook's is a rabbit, Tae's is a blu-ray DVD disk (because he really is committed to the bit), and Yoongi's is stars to symbolise the shine of fresh gloss. Jungkook's makes the most sense. Yoongi's is pretty decent. Taehyung's is just... Well, it's very him.
Sliding open the door into the main living area, Jungkook has to cover your mouth again when you gasp at the sheer size of the place.
"I thought butterflies were supposed to be silent?" He teases. "Quiet for me, Nabi."
His place is bigger than your family home, you think. Hushing you again, he's laughing—and then he's cursing at the sight of a half-naked Yoongi by the kitchen counter.
In his boxers, with half a clementine slice hanging from his lips, he's just as shocked to see Jungkook with you. Gets over it pretty quickly.
"Don't mind me," he says, chewing down on the fruit with a smirk. Looks towards you. "Apologies for the lack of clothes."
With your shoes hooked on his fingers, Jungkook's other large hand is still over your mouth. You're not sure you can form any words as it is, but you do notice the crescent moon and stars on Yoongi's ribs.
"Not a word to Tae," is all Jungkook says. Knows that he'll be in for a world of teasing tomorrow if he gets wind of it. "I mean it."
Holding his hands up, Yoongi's still smirking, but he is backing away into a room just off the kitchen. "My lips are sealed."
Watching as he closes the door, you wonder how much truth is in his words. Jungkook knows it's absolute bullshit. Chooses not to dwell on it. Loosens his grip on you and heads towards his own room. Turns back to check you're following him, and can't help but smile when he knows that you are.
Tossing your shoes just inside the door, Jungkook is quick to pick up a pair of jeans he'd left on the floor, before chucking them over his desk chair. He tweaks his bedding. Straightens it out. Looks a little shy as he turns to face you.
"Made it home safe," he says quietly, as you close the door behind you.
You nod. Keep a little distance. Say, "It's dangerous to sleep after drinking. Make sure you build a tower of pillows in the middle of your bed so you don't roll onto your back."
Both of you are far more sober than you were earlier. There's no need to worry about anything like that.
And yet he nods, now. Says, "You're probably right. You can always stay, though. Just to check I don't die in my sleep, or whatever."
"It'd be the responsible thing to do," you nod, wondering if he can tell just how fast your heart is beating. "But I don't have any pyjamas."
Jungkook swallows. The way he looks at you now is entirely different to how he'd looked at you in the club. Back then, he'd been bold. Flirtatious.
Now, he seems vulnerable. Needy.
"I sleep in my underwear," he tells you, unsure if you'll actually be sleeping. While he likes the idea of fucking you, part of him doesn't want to. Fears it'll ruin the magic of the unknown. The way he throbs at the mere thought of it would suggest that his hopes outweigh his fears. "I don't mind, if you don't."
The clothes Jungkook's wearing are baggy. You've seen nothing of his figure.
Reaching for the nape of his neck, he tugs on the fabric of his T-shirt. Pulls it over his head and discards it in one swift movement. The sound of it crumpling on the floor is abrasive in how it makes you feel. Raw. Unrefined. You suppose it's just a natural consequence of seeing the toned muscles of his chest. How his waist defies what you thought was possible for masculine builds, and how broad his chest is. The indent of his collarbones, and the lines of his pelvis that draw your eyes downwards.
A pair of Calvins peek just above the waistband of his jeans, and a silver chain rests around his neck. Light from the city filters in, and LED lights around his impressive computer set-up paint him in a hue of violet.
"No," you manage to reply, which is a miracle, you think. "I don't mind."
And then you reciprocate. Reach for the hem of your shirt and pull it over your head, letting the fabric fall to the floor. Seeing him swallow back his nerves, or maybe his desires, makes you feel far bolder than you should.
"It's really uncomfortable to sleep in jeans," you tell him.
He nods. Agrees. Threads the button of his trousers through its loop. Doesn't take them off yet. Waits for you to do the same. Keeps his eyes firmly locked on yours. Doesn't let his gaze wander, no matter how much he has to fight all his instincts not to fully take you in. Is still pretending like he doesn't want you in the most indecent of ways.
The room you're in right now is known worldwide. 
People set it as their zoom backgrounds. It's on Pinterest. There are YouTube videos attempting to recreate the set-up. If he were to power up his computer—which, in all fairness, is only on standby—and go live, there'd be a thousand viewers within minutes. Doesn't matter what he plays, or who he's with. He doesn't give it much thought anymore. Is just life.
Sometimes, he regrets not being a faceless streamer, but he also knows that it's part of the appeal. Connection, and the fantasy that comes with this almost dystopian, parasocial idea of it.
After all, the meeting of his eyes with yours across a busy club led you to this point. Human connection in the simplest of ways, that he thinks could culminate in the most complex of ways, too.
"Okay," he says. "So take them off."
"You want me to?" You ask just to tease a little bit, and when a smile flickers onto his seemingly nervous lips, you're glad you did.
"You think we'd be here right now if I didn't?" He says with a tweak of his brows.
"You've got a point."
With that, you push your jeans down and reveal the matching set of black underwear you're in. It's nothing special. In fact, it's not really a set, but it's close enough that it'd fool anyone who didn't know.
Jungkook, in this moment, is indeed a beautiful fool.
There's a lopsided grin on his face as he lets his eyes rake down your body. Is shameless as he indulges in you. Nods, as he bites down on his bottom lip.
"It's cold," you tell him, urging him along a little bit.
"Shit," he says without much thought. "Sorry. Was just... Yeah. Shit."
It's both endearing and wholly confusing how Jungkook flips from confident to cute. A man of duality. It makes you giggle, and then you're the one biting down on your bottom lip. Are both a little bashful. A little shy.
"I'm only here to make sure you don't die in your sleep," you remind him before it goes any further.
Looking at him now, knowing you want him in the worst of ways, it's testing all of your willpower not to just cut to the chase.
Thing is, you liked his company tonight. Want it again. Want to give him a reason to seek you out once more. Want him thinking about you in clubs, and looking for you in crowded bars. Pining. Yearning. Needy.
"It's already gone seven," he tells you, walking towards his bed. Knocks his head to the side. Silently tells you to follow suit. "Will probably only get a couple hours in."
"Better than nothing. Plus, you're actually really irritating," you bullshit as you get into bed with him. Are adamant you won't fuck him, but you do let him pull you in closer.
"Oh, yeah?" He grins.
"Mhmm," you nod, pretending as if you aren't looking at his lips. "You'll be less annoying when you're asleep."
"I'm never gonna sleep again," he assures you. "Will annoy you forever."
"I know where the front door is," you say as you stroke a few of his loose, wavy hairs back behind his ears. They fall freely almost right away, but it just gives you another excuse to play with it "I can just leave. I'm only here to make sure you don't die in your sleep. Pointless if you're awake."
"So I have to be asleep for you to stay?"
"Mhmm," you hum.
He immediately loosens his grip on you and flops into an overdramatic sleeping position. Fake snores. Gets you giggling. Can't hide his smile, either. Laughs through the god-awful noises he's making.
But it is late, and you're both tired. As much as he'd like to stay awake with you, the pull of sleep is just too tempting now that you're beneath his sheets. It's not like he doesn't wanna fuck you. His semi is very much present, but neither of you mention it.
"Y'know what's sad about butterflies?" Jungkook mumbles after the laughter dies down. He carefully begins to trace the lines of your tattoo, eyes entirely focused on the tip of his finger.
You purr a response before you fully vocalise one. "Tell me."
He glances up at you only very momentarily. Looks back down. Is quiet when he says, "How quickly they die. Spend over half their lifespan growing into these beautiful creatures, and then they have, what—A week? Two? Three, tops—and then they're gone. It's like the cherry blossoms in spring. Beautiful, and then—" He clicks his fingers. "—gone."
Stroking back some loose strands of his hair, you wonder if he's thinking about you. About this chance encounter. Beautiful, then gone.
"Just means you have to appreciate them while they're still around," you say softly. "Cherish them, because you know you only have them for a moment."
His gaze lifts to meet yours. The reflection of his LED lights makes it seem like butterflies are floating around in his deep, dark eyes, too.
There are stories he could tell you of ancient folklore; about human souls taking the form of butterflies. Of justice, and peace, and spirits. Of back in time, when tigers still smoked. He could tell you of his favourite butterflies. Of the black butterflies that are as large as his hands in the summer. Of the huge display in a museum downtown that would transfix him as a child.
Instead, he gently presses his lips against the lines of your butterfly tattoo.
The rate at which your heart is beating multiplies. Like a swarm of butterflies chasing through your veins, you've no control over the way you're feeling. He's brought your artwork to life; set the souls inside of your butterfly free, only for it to be apparent that the souls belonged to the both of you, anyway.
You know that this is one of those moments; a butterfly passing on by through your lives. Here, and then gone. Beautiful, but fleeting.
There's a shyness to Jungkook now, as he rolls onto his back. A reluctance to get things wrong. He doesn't look at you, just nibbles on his bottom lip and pretends as if the empty white ceiling ahead of him is the most interesting thing he's seen all night.
It's not.
You are.
You, and those eyes that make him feel like the butterfly on your arm is tickling at his tummy. He finds himself jealous when he faces you again and begins tracing the thin lines of your butterfly once more. Wants to embed himself into you like the ink that's carved out a home in your skin.
"Sorry," he mumbles, seemingly regretful of the tender kiss he'd pressed against your arm just a short moment ago. "Don't know why I did that."
"It's okay," you reply without much thought. Like him, you're letting the way you feel dictate the words you say. Care not for playing coy. "I liked it."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Jungkook wants to stop his mouth from letting his desires escape. The issue is, he drank a little too much tonight and his lips are a little too loose. Too bad. Can't help himself from asking, "Can I do it again?"
You're just as bad.
"Yeah," you whisper. "Please."
The way his lashes splay against his cheeks as he presses another kiss to your arm is nothing short of celestial. Like that damn moon on his arm, he's got a beauty about him that's hard to capture in words. Ethereal feels too fantastical, but gorgeous feels too dense. He resides in a realm somewhere between the two. Somewhere you'd like to stay forever.
Forever, sadly, only lasts a few hours. You've brunch plans with new friends you can't bail on yet for fear of running a friendship before it's even begun.
You see yourself out. Jungkook's still asleep. Not quite 10AM, you've a dozen missed calls from Rae, and a cold can of coke waiting for you in your fridge. Funnily enough, though, you don't really feel hungover. Must have gotten it all out of your system the night before.
It's only fitting, when you think about Jungkook on the subway home, and how soberingly drunk the idea of him makes you feel. 
Tumblr media
YONSEI UNIVERSITY DORMS DAESIN-DONG, SEODAEMUN-GU SUNDAY 21:39
Brunch had, predictably, been a yawn-fest.
The people were perfectly nice, but you spent the entire time thinking about Jungkook; how you'd left him in a pretty slumber, the LEDs behind his computer still glowing, with not even so much as a note to say thank you.
It's not like he had any paper on his desk, and you weren't about to start rummaging around his room. You also didn't want to wake him. Part of it was because you knew you'd be saying goodbye, and the concept of that was one that you didn't like all that much.
And so your subway ride back to your dorm had been spent searching his name. He didn't take long to find. 
From the club's Instagram, you found GLOSS and quickly discovered that there was far more to both him and Blu-Tae than just being DJs. Their follower counts were wild. Numbers you know you'll never see on your own account. Verification check marks accented their display names. 
Who are you? You'd thought to yourself, incredibly perplexed by it all.
Jungkook was littered all over their pages, and yet it still took a while for you to click through to his account. You're not sure why, but think that perhaps the unknown was a nice place to reside within. Safer. 
CR3SC3NT_T0KK1 was his username—and curiously, Tokki was also his display name. Brows furrowed, you'd almost dropped your phone when you saw his follower count. It eclipsed both of his friends. 
Filled with gaming set-ups, merch drops, and general life dumps, it was pretty clear that whoever Jungkook had made himself out to be the night before was not who he was in real life. 
Equal parts offended and intrigued, you were only more confused when you saw that Rae was already following him—but not following Taehyung.
"What?" she'd beamed when you'd asked her about it after you'd arrived home from brunch, a scoop of hangover ice cream being waved around in the air with her flamboyant gestures. "He's, like, one of the biggest streamers in the country—and if I want to keep Tae obsessed with me, we need as many connections as possible. Jungkook's a frog to me, baby, not a prince. Don't you worry your little cotton socks. I'm not after him."
"I wouldn't care if you were," you'd blatantly lied in response, and then you'd giggled together at how ridiculous you were both being over boys you didn't really know.
Hovering over the bright purple 'JOIN STREAM' button later that evening, part of you holds back. Think it'd be weird. Strange. That he'd somehow know it was you.
Dipping your mouse, you tick the checkbox to join as an anonymous viewer. Take a breath. Think fuck it. Watch with bated breath as the loading wheel turns—and then he's there.
Jeon Jungkook has the kind of beauty that transcends shitty quality streams. Smiling as he jokes with one of his friends through a headset with a pair of black bunny ears affixed to the top of them, you hear a voice you almost recognise. Notice the friend he's streaming with in the top corner. Realise you do know him, too.
Hair as blue as the trees are green, Tae has just as much boyish charm as Jungkook, but also an incredibly large hickey that seems to match the ones on Rae's neck.
"Nah, can we get an L in the chat for Kook," he's teasing. Sure enough, the chat begins to explode with the letter, and Jungkook looks so pretty when he protests.
"It's not an L!"
"It is!" Tae insists. "Should have seen him, guys. Was following this girl around like a lovesick puppy—"
"No, I wasn't!"
"And she didn't even give him her number. Not even her name!"
"That's not true!" Jungkook whines. He switches between Korean and English with ease, sometimes just single words, other times whole sentences. "I have a name."
"What is it?"
"Not telling you."
"Cause you don't have one!"
"No, because you'll all make my life a living hell," Jungkook laughs—and then notices a bright blue comment lighting up in the chat. His eyes widen. "Fuck."
GLOSS: Was calling her Nabi when he got home last night Almost shit his pants when he saw me
"Yoongi, I'm gonna shave your eyebrows off in your sleep," Jungkook growls—only for the chat to start spamming butterfly emojis. Closing his eyes, he leans back in his chair, the still paused video game long forgotten about, now. Thousands of people are in their chat, and even more are watching the stream.
"Guys, get it trending," Taehyung goads. "Tweet, I dunno, bunny and butterfly emojis."
"Don't do that!"
"Hashtag find Jungkook's butterfly."
"Do NOT do that!"
"I'm like a modern-day cupid," Taehyung beams.
"I'm shaving your eyebrows, too."
Closing the stream, you sit for a moment, mouth ajar, unable to process what on earth you've just witnessed. Part of you feels as if it must have an incredibly vivid daydream; a projection of your heart's desire.
And you know you shouldn't, but when you get home from running errands the following day, you join the stream again. Blush when you notice the chat is still teasing Jungkook.
"I'm gonna block you all," he threatens them with a grin, which only encourages them to send even more butterfly emojis.
The next day is no different, nor the day after that.
He is, though. Has been letting it all play on his mind. Doesn't have much of a filter when it comes to streaming.
"What if she didn't even like me, guys," he whines to the chat. "And sees this and is like... mortified. I think I'd punch myself in the face if she ever saw any of this."
You toy with the idea of sending a comment into the chat. Something that only he'd realise was you. Thing is, you feel bad for intruding. As if you shouldn't be prying. As if you're eavesdropping on him chatting with friends, and not on the stream he's broadcasting live around the world.
Typing out a message, you deliberate your choice.
Punch urself in the face pls, tokki x the message reads. 
Simple. Effective. To the point.
But everyone calls him that, you stupidly realise, now.
And so you change the name to 'Mike'. 
Before you can even really realise what you've done, you've pressed send.
The message flitters into the chat feed. He's about to resume his game. Doesn't notice it at first.
Gives the chat one final glance, and then his eyes widen. He sits up taller. Straighter. "Mike?"
You close the lid of your laptop immediately.
"Fuck."
Tumblr media
THE STREETS WAUSAN-RO, HONGDAE FRIDAY 23:51
"Tae is on in five," Rae squeals, dragging you down the road at lightning speed. 
You'd spent far too long at dinner, and also had far too much to drink with your food, so have been forced to make an undignified sprint to the club in an attempt to make it in before the place reaches capacity.
There's already a queue. You can see it from a mile away.
Realistically, Rae could have gotten Taehyung to add her to the guest list. He'd offered. She didn't wanna look needy, so had played it coy about her plans for the evening. 
After a single beer and soju, she'd decided that the idea of him hooking up with anyone but her simply wouldn't do.
"Shit," she sighs in defeat, looking at the queue. The direction you've come from means that you reach the entrance before you reach the queue, but even then, you can tell it goes around the block. "Are there no other clubs these people can go to?!"
There are—but this club is rammed tonight for the same reason Club Sundown was rammed the week before. People want to see the Crescent Collective. 
You didn't realise it at the time, but you'd bypassed the queue of the second club last weekend because Jungkook had been with you.
And as if by a stroke of luck, or perhaps a twist of fate, the same tattooed hand that had held you as you slept last weekend is now putting out a cigarette just a few steps away.
Eyes landing on yours, he looks away again, almost immediately. Feels embarrassed. Stupid. For the way you left him, and also for the way he knows you must know who he is, now.
Behind a red rope, he's away from the general crowd. It's sort of obnoxious, you think—but also know Jungkook is anything but.
"They're with me," Jungkook says to the bouncer, not really looking at you, but nodding in your general direction. Is deliberately keeping a little distance. Instead, he says to Rae, "Tae wouldn't want you waiting in line."
Nodding, the security guard makes way for you, stamping the backs of your hands with UV-activated ink as you walk past.
"Thank you!" Rae beams.
"No worries," Jungkook smiles right back. "He's about to start. Was just getting air. You're lucky you arrived when you did."
"Angel," she praises. "I'll get you a drink while we're in there."
You know her well enough now to know that she absolutely will not, but you don't say anything. Instead, you fold your arms over your chest as you walk, suddenly feeling all awkward in Jungkook's presence.
"Nabi," he curtly greets you as you head down the stairs.
"Tokki," you greet him back just as formally. Consider calling him 'Mike' instead, but you chicken out.
Face scrunching up, Jungkook tries his best not to cringe at himself. Doesn't know if you're addressing him by his tattoo moniker, or just calling him Tokki because you know it's his identifier online.
"How have you been?" He asks, not wanting to let it simmer.
"Alright," you say, aware of how awkward this all feels, as you descend the stairs and into the club. The music is getting louder, and soon you won't be able to hear him talk unless you're in each other's ears. "And you?"
"Alright."
Just as quickly as he appeared, Jungkook is lost to the crowd. 
He doesn't care to stick around if he's just going to be hung out to dry by you again. He tells himself that he only made sure you got in to keep Rae happy for Taehyung's sake—yet as he rejoins his friends in their booth, he finds himself desperately seeking you out again.
It takes him a while, but he eventually spots you by the bar in conversation with Rae. He can't make out what you're saying, but notices how your eyes are flickering around the room. Seems as if you're hunting for something. 
Deep down, even if he pretends like he doesn't, he hopes it's for him.
Pulled away from your search by the bartender passing over drinks to the pair of you, Jungkook feels bad. Knows the drinks are pricey in this place. Also knows, from the conversations you've already had, that you're on a tight budget. Had said that once the semester starts, you'll stop going to parties. Are seemingly unaware of the fact the parties never stop in this city. You'll learn.
When your eyes finally land on his a little while later, you're surprised by his intense gaze—intrigued by his lack of shame for being caught out. He doesn't look away or appear embarrassed. If anything, it's quite the opposite.
Girls are vying for his attention all around him, yet you receive all of it. Half the room away, hundreds of people create a sea between you both. Jungkook thinks he'd swim through it, no matter how choppy the water, if it meant he could have you right now.
You're the one who left, though. 
It's up to you to come back.
Part of you doesn't want to, but then you see another girl making advances, and Rae's horror over other girls trying it on with Taehyung seems to have rubbed off on you. The idea of it makes your skin crawl. You're drunk, and a little reactive, but Jungkook likes playing with fire.
As you work your way through the crowd towards him, he tries his best not to grin. Finds himself vindicated in his desire to be close to you, 'cause it seems like you want it, too.
Sliding in between Jungkook and the girl, you turn and apologise.
"Just need to borrow him for a second," you smile, clutching at his shirt and pulling him away from the booth before she even has a chance to protest.
With an ever-so-satisfied smirk, Jungkook shrugs towards the other girl, and lets you drag him wherever you want. He's putty in your hands, a little tipsy and desperately in need of attention from you. 
For the past week, he's played scenario over scenario over scenario in his head about this moment, and now that it's happening, he's glad he let you seek him out. Is so pleased that you actively want him just as much as he wants you.
In the middle of the crowd, you're hidden from prying eyes. It's too dark to notice any discerning features of the people around you, yet somehow, Jungkook seems like a vibrant golden light to you. Impossible to miss. Unable to ignore.
You wanna talk. Ask him about who the fuck he is. Explain that you didn't mean to leave so heartlessly.
Taehyung's set is so overwhelmingly loud, though. Can barely even hear yourself think.
As soon as he'd spotted Rae in the crowd, Taehyung had sent the bar coordinator to go and get her. She's sitting pretty up in the DJ booth, incredibly pleased with herself. Notices you and Jungkook almost immediately. Knows it'll be on Twitter in the next few hours, especially if that damn butterfly tattoo of yours is noticed.
Bunnies and butterflies have been trending for days.
Jungkook speaks, but you can't hear him.
"Huh?" You ask, getting on your tippy toes, but it's fruitless. Even as his hand drops to your waist to steady you and keep you in place, you can barely make out his words. "I can't hear you!"
He can't hear jack shit, either. Frowns. Looks around. Spots Yoongi by the booth and gestures towards the side of the room. When Yoongi nods back, it's Jungkook who drags you through the crowd, now. Just beyond the DJ booth is a little black door that Yoongi meets you by. Taps in the code. Nods in your direction.
"A pleasure," he says with a knowing smirk. Miraculously, you can hear him, but ultimately, it's because you're not in the direct line of the speakers now.
You don't get a chance to respond before Jungkook gets you into what can only described as a dark hole as quickly as he can. Romance, you think to yourself, but you also are very aware of the fact Jungkook doesn't let go of your hand, even when he's searching for the light switch. It takes him a second, but he manages to recall the approximate location quickly enough.
Dingy yellow light floods into the room. Small and boxy, it's a 3-in-1 storage room, bathroom, and dressing room for 'talent'. It's why Yoongi had the code, but you can't imagine anyone with any shred of self-respect actually using this place. The walls are the same grey tiles as the floor, and the light bulb hangs from a wire without a shade. The tap on the sink drips, and you're pretty sure there's a leak in the far corner by the mirror.
None of that matters, though. All you can focus on is the man in front of you. Though not soundproof, the room does offer a far more muted version of Taehyung's set. More importantly, it provides you with privacy.
It's been a week since you last saw him, face to face.
Though you have, admittedly, seen him what feels like a million times on low-quality streams from his bedroom.
Realistically, it's been about three times, but you think about it almost constantly.
"You left," is all he says, a little pout on his lips.
It's cute, you think, that he is so outwardly offended by such an act. You would have thought that a man of his position would have a habit of leaving, himself. Then again, you didn't know of his status when you left him in bed that morning.
"And you didn't die," you reply with a teasing smile, trying not to make it sound so severe. "You were fine without me."
"I'm not joking," he says, even if he can't help but smile at the recollection of how stupid the conversation before bed had been. "You left. It was rude."
"I had brunch plans," you tell him, reaching your hands out for his. He wants to resist. Fails. Lets you pull him closer. Incredibly close, in fact. So close that you begin to notice all sorts of things. His freckles. A small scar on his cheek. A tiny fleck of glitter on his skin, no doubt from one of the girls who had been desperate for his attention earlier. "You'd only had a few hours sleep. I didn't want to disturb you."
"Could have left a note," he says, still pouty but far quieter. You can smell the Jack on his breath. Have always hated the taste, but think you could grow to like it. "Your number. Something, at least."
"I could've," you admit, edging even closer. Closing the gap. Nudging your nose against his. But then you smile. Pull back. Tease, "And you could have warned me that I'd become a trending topic on Twitter."
Just like that, Jungkook's pout snaps into the prettiest smile. His face scrunches up, lines creasing on his nose. Beneath his closed eyes reside the sweetest little puffs. He's got the kind of face that is impossible not to like.
"Ah," he cringes.
"Yeah," you laugh at the stupidity of it all. What did he expect? That you wouldn't find out? "Ah."
"In my defence," he holds his hands up, eyes wide and innocent. "You called me Tokki. How was I to know you didn't know?"
"Oh, give over," you laugh, as he reaches for your hands once again. Pulls you closer. "You know I didn't know."
Truthfully, he does know this, but it was nice to be unknown for a little while. Nice to not second guess your intentions. Even now, knowing that you know, he feels like none of it matters. 
"Look," he begins, toying with the hem of your cropped shirt. Lets his fingertips graze your bare skin. Tries his best not to think about what you look like half-naked. Fails. "I only came out tonight 'cause I hoped I'd see you. I don't care about staying out till ass-o'clock, again."
"Think I've only just caught up on sleep," you hum, angling your chin up and giving him the perfect opportunity to make a move that goes beyond flirtatious touches.
"Exactly," he smiles, letting his hand squeeze the side of your waist. Pulls you closer. "And I've not drunk half as much tonight, but I think I could do with you making sure I don't die, again."
"Yeah?"
Nodding as he nudges his nose against yours, Jungkook is all smiles. Lets his lips line up against your pout.
"Yeah," he mumbles—then lets the word get lost in your lips.
Sinking into what it feels like to kiss you, Jungkook can't help but feel satisfaction. Has finally caught the damn butterfly he's been after all week. 
He's played a lot of games. Won a lot of battles.
And yet victory has never tasted so sweet.
Tumblr media
JUNGKOOK'S APARTMENT ITAEWON-DONG, YONGSAN-GU SATURDAY 02:07
You retrace your steps. Get a taxi to his place, 'cause there's no point pretending like he can't afford it. Not anymore.
You're not giggling like you were the first time you were in his elevator, but it's kind of impossible to do so when your back is to the wall and Jungkook's tongue is in your mouth.
Your hands roam his body—waist, ass. If you can squeeze it, you will. Just makes him deepen the kisses. If his large hands weren't cupping your jaw, keeping you close, they'd be doing the exact same thing as yours.
The ding of the elevator pulls you apart just for a second, and then you're the one pulling him down to the corridor to his place.
He doesn't open the door. Just kisses you again. 
Finally understands what it means to get butterflies, 'cause he's got you, now, and he never wants to lose it.
Hooking his hands beneath your ass, he hoists you up. Gets your legs wrapped around him. Could go in, but where's the fun in that? There's a slight danger of getting caught. He knows the hallway security cameras will definitely pick this up. The threat that it could get leaked online, and the simple fact that he couldn't give a shit if it does, is kind of hot.
"I'm not fucking you out here," you tell him through a hushed giggle, when he rests his forehead against yours.
"Woah," he jokes. "Who said anything about fucking?"
"I can literally feel your boner, Jungkook."
"Touché."
He doesn't even attempt to downplay it. He puts you down. Gets you through the threshold of his apartment. Shoes off by the door, there's no need to be quiet. Yoongi and Taehyung are still out, and will be for hours. He could take his time if he really wanted.
But what he wants is you. Doesn't waste time. Gets you in his room. Kinda feels like you never left. Jungkook still wishes you hadn't, but doesn't mind the idea of you making it up to him now.
"So," you hum, trailing your fingertips across his desk. "This is where the magic happens?"
He smiles a little bashfully, head dropping for a moment before his eyes are on yours again. "Yeah. You could say that."
Now that you're back in his space, it's a little embarrassing just how many clues there were. A headset rests on the desk—black, robust, with his signature bunny ears secured on top—and a mic is hooked up by the monitor. The webcam doesn't look special, but the keyboard subtly glows in his darkened room. Violet, like the LEDs behind his screen.
A laptop covered in vinyl stickers is closed next to the set-up. He uses it when he's not streaming on his desktop. At least three of the stickers are of the Crescent Collective's logo.
Turning to fully face him, you rest your palms behind yourself and perch on the edge of the desk.
He gets a little kick out of seeing you so flippantly disregard the domain in which he dominates. Gives him a point to prove. Gets him closing the space between you, hands on your waist, dipping to your ass to leverage further back on his desk. Knows it's sturdy, 'cause he built it himself, but has never tested out quite how strong it really is. Thinks now's as good a time as any to find out.
Your legs wrap around his body with no thought, just the innate understanding that you want him in a way you're sure thousands of people have only dreamt of: in his room, on his desk, that damn 'Go Live' button just a few short clicks away.
Reaching beside you, there's a smirk on your lips as you retrieve his headset. Put it on him. Say, "The ears are cute, Tokki."
He rolls his eyes. Is fighting a smile, and currently losing. He's seen some lewd shit during his time on the internet and is well aware of the fanart that includes the ears and little else. Always found it kinda funny, before.
Now? He's so hard it almost hurts, and he thinks he could grow to like it.
As your arms drape over his shoulders, he takes them off. Puts them on you, instead. Adjusts the sizing. Gets them just right for you. Is attentive, like that. Pulls his head back a little, and then realises what a problem you're gonna be for him.
It's not so much the addition of animal ears that's getting him insatiable, but seeing you adorned with a crown that is so inherently his that does it.
Jungkook's no saint. He's had his fair share of one-nighters. A couple hours of fun never to be spoken of again. Since the group of them signed to their management agency, they've been repeatedly told how important it is to get NDA's signed. Something about it always feels so icky to Jungkook. Cruel, almost. Has only had a couple hook-ups since then, both with flings he's known for a good couple of years, with no fear of them spilling the beans on how prettily he whines when he cums.
You're the first new girl in a long time. He knows he should really pause things before you cut to the chase—but then your hand is trailing down his thick forearm, delicately stroking his rabbit moon with a curious smile. Decides he doesn't care.
"The ears are cute," he replies. Teasingly adds, "Nabi."
The position of your arms over his shoulders ensures the tattoos he'd traced the week before are fully displayed for him. As his eyes drop to your butterfly, you're curiously smitten by the way his lips move to press a kiss against it again.
"Suit me?"
"Mhmm," he hums, eyes flickering back up to yours. "Should also get you a pair of butterfly wings, or something."
"I'd make you wear them," you tell him with a cheeky glint in your eye. "Turn you into a butterfly, yourself. Your girlies in the chat would love that."
Jungkook knows without a shadow of a doubt he'd let you. Not for the girlies in the chat, but for you.
Ghosting his lips against yours, he's waiting for you to press down. Is letting you take the lead.
Your kisses are sweet. Tepid. Reserved.
You're feeling; his hands on your waist, the pressure of his lip rings, the presence of his nose.
And then he's feeling; your bare skin as his large hands slip beneath the fabric of your shirt, the way your legs wrap around him, the vibration of a small groan against his lips.
The skirt you're in is bunched around your hips, and the positioning is just right for you to feel how hard he is against your underwear. It's a little undignified, you'll admit, but you're impatient, so you take control. Reposition his hand between your legs. Encourage him to take things further.
"Yeah?" He checks.
Nodding into a needy kiss, you mumble, "Please."
It might've been a while, but Jungkook's muscle memory is enviable. He's the best player on the team for that very reason.
As he hooks your underwear to the side, he's pleased to be greeted with indications of your arousal. Smirks into the kisses he's giving you, as his fingertips graze against your clit. Trails his lips to your neck. Wants to hear the way you gasp as he pushes his thick middle finger inside you.
"Fuck," you sigh at the welcome intrusion. Nod, as he curls his finger almost immediately. He's got a lot to thank those damn video games for, that's for sure.
Softly moaning, just how he hoped you would, there's an arch to your back as he picks up a pace. The need to perform, almost.
Head tipping back as Jungkook fucks another finger into you, you're unable to think too cognitively. Can only think about the way he feels. The smell of his hair as he presses kisses against your neck, and how prominent his collarbones are as your nails trail up his toned torso.
"Feels so good," you tell him. Move the hand of yours that's been resting on his shoulder to his hair. Tug on it a little. Elicit the prettiest of whines from him.
There's something to be said for making a man—especially one of such strength, stature, status—so weak. Gets you all giggly. Jungkook can feel the satisfaction ripple through your entire body, and it just makes him groan against your neck even more.
"You're so wet," he praises, pulling back to study your face as he plays with you. Lets his thumb stroke up against your clit ever so gently. Revels in the way you get a little shaky. Twitchy. With those damn bunny ears, you really are like a little rabbit. Jungkook finally understands why the fan artists choose to draw him in such a way. It is hot. "You're making me so fuckin' hard."
And then you're giggling again.
"Is it a joke to you, huh?" He smirks. Looks down at your pussy, all swollen and sopping wet for him, in the hazy violet light of his room. Knows that his throbbing cock is gonna stuff you so fuckin' full that laughing won't be an option. Is desperate for it. "How badly I want you is just a big joke to you, huh, bunny?"
The way he groups you in with his moniker is too damn hot.
"Dunno," you rasp, desperately trying to hold off the orgasm that's building inside you. "Fuck me and find out."
Reaching for the button of his trousers, you're quick as you wrestle his jeans down over his ass. Don't bother pushing them down entirely. Just enough to get his boxers exposed, and in turn, his thick cock. Hard and engorged, his desperation for you is evident. A small patch of precum seeps through the fabric of his boxers. He curses as your thumb strokes against it.
"Condom?" You ask, knowing you've got none on you.
"Hold that thought," he says, regretfully pulling away from you.
Watching on as he pushes down his jeans, and strips himself of his shirt, you're at a loss for words. You've seen him like this before, but it's so much hotter knowing that he's gonna be fucking himself into you as soon as he possibly can.
Jungkook could very easily lead you to his bed. Get you comfy. Reach to his bedside cabinet for a condom. Fuck you how he likes—doggy-style, minimal face-to-face contact—and be done with it all very quickly.
Instead, he says, "Stay here."
Doing as you're told, you watch on as he walks to the cabinet, and retrieves a condom. Admire his back, and his broad shoulders. The valley of his spine, and the hard work he's put into crafting his physique. Smirk to yourself as he dips into his boxers. Strokes himself. Once, twice. Tears the packet open with his teeth, just like you were always taught not to do, and rolls the latex down his thick shaft.
"What?" he smirks as he walks back, realising your eyes are transfixed on his cock.
You say nothing. Smile. Hold your hands out for Jungkook to take, just so you can pull him back even quicker.
Lips pressing into yours as he closes the gap, Jungkook is all smiles. Rubs the head of his cock against your pussy, gathering up your arousal all over his tip. Lines himself up with your entrance. Waits for you to give him the go-ahead.
Hand on his ass, you pull him closer. Edge the crown of his cock into you. Whimper. Beg. "Please."
Sinking into you with a laboured grunt, he's surprised with how much tighter you are around his cock than you were with his fingers. Wet and warm, there's an undeniable pleasure that sparks through his body as he gets familiar with the way you feel.
Slowly, his hips begin to pick up a pace. As his tongue strokes into your mouth, there's no dignity to the way he's taking you. The increased pace means heightened moans, and it's not just you—it's him, too.
"Shit, yeah," he grits. "So fuckin' tight, aren't you?"
Whining, you nod into his kisses. Are at his entire disposal as he grips your waist, proving exactly why Tokki is the perfect nickname for him.
As much as he likes the ears, he's a little worried that he might fuck you so hard they fall off. Doesn't wanna break them, and definitely doesn't wanna think about the story the boys would make up when they go live tomorrow to tease him—but also really wants to fuck you harder.
Which is funny, cause the way he tugs them off with such desperation and tosses them down, you'd be forgiven for thinking he couldn't care less about breaking them. Doesn't give you a chance to say anything, 'cause his big hands are cradling your face, bringing you in for desperate kisses once more.
There's a lewdness to the sounds you make together, but Jungkook knows that if he was an entirely different kind of streamer, you'd make bank together. Wonders about the way it would look on camera. Worries. Pauses.
"You good?" You check a little breathlessly as he reaches behind you, just to tug the wire to his webcam from the plus.
"Yeah," he nods, still fiddling around behind you. Smiles in the hedonistic haze as your lips find a new home on his neck. Strokes your hair gently, and presses a kiss to the side of your head. Quietly says, "Just making sure there's no way in hell I accidentally start streaming."
You hum, all purry and pliant. "People would pay good money to see it."
While he agrees, and has had the same thought process, he doesn't care. "You saying I should be charging you for this?"
"Oh, no," you say all very sweetly. "You should be paying me."
"I'll pay you with orgasms," he promises, knowing that it's a rare currency for one-night strands.
You smirk. Pat the top of his head. "Sure you will."
If there's one thing Jungkook loves, it's a challenge.
Pulling back, he turns you around. Gets you bent over his desk with zero opposition from you. Rubs himself against your soaked cunt, then asks, "Yeah?"
"Yeah," you smirk, and then settle into a sigh as he pushes into you. The feeling of fullness from Jungkook is one that's hard to compare. So thick, and fat, and heavy, his cock really is just as impressive as he is.
With one hand hooked at the crease of your thigh, the other holds the top of your shoulder. Gets you pushed down onto his cock as far as you possibly can be. There's a slight reflection in his streaming plaque beside the monitor, and you're pleased to see just how intensely focused he is on you, brows furrowed, pretty pink lips resting ajar. The silver of his lip rings and chain catch in the light, and you find you can't look at him for too long. He's too hot.
But then he's reaching down for your clit as he fucks into you. Has your legs shaking. The waves of a familiar sensation begin to lap against the shores of your pleasure.
"Fuck," you whine. "Feels good. Keep it like that."
Jungkook knows better than to ignore your requests. Does as he's told, the pressure of his fingers on your clit only deepening. Rubbing calculated circles against you, he knows just how to work you up. Gets you whining. Mewling. Moaning.
"Gonna cum, aren't you?" he smirks, as his own high builds.
"Fuck—"
"C'mon," he husks, feeling your walls tighten around him. He doesn't stop his relentless chase. Will win your orgasms fair and square. Continues pounding into you. Pace fast, strokes deep, he's everything you could ever want and more—and then he's slowing. Keeping you plugged, nice and deep, but focusing on the way he's toying with your clit. "You know you wanna cream for me. All over my cock, pretty Nabi. C'mon—"
"I'm close," you all but whimper. "So—fuck. So close."
"Yeah, you are," he tells you—and then your legs are shaking, pussy tightly clamping around his cock, one hand tense against his desk while the other grabs at his wrist. Uncontrollable, is the way you whine for him. It's so needy—so desperate and pathetic—that it's almost a sob. Jungkook doesn't ease up. In fact, his hips gain a little pace again as your orgasm shatters around you both. He's breathless, but manages to choke out, "Flithy fuckin' cunt. Feels so fuckin' good. Fuck."
The frail limpness of your body as the orgasm smokes away is cute. Jungkook loves it. You're so weak for him. He fucks into you still, chasing his own high, and your whines only get louder. It's overwhelming, but you never want to lose the feeling.
It doesn't take much. Just a minute or so of your tight cunt, and Jungkook is pulling out. Even though he doesn't ask you to, you get to your knees as he tears the condom off.
"In my mouth," you beg, and who is he to reject such an offer?
Jerking himself to completion, Jungkook is all pretty and pathetic when he cums, too. Looks at you with eyes so starry you'd been forgiven for thinking he was a descendant of the constellations.
He milks the final few spurts of himself onto your wet tongue, and curses when you press dainty kisses to his tip. Stroking your tongue against him, you don't want to waste a drop. Look up at him and find that his eyes are resting shut from the pleasure of it all.
Silence surrounds you both, just your beating hearts and laboured breaths filling to the room. He helps you up. Holds you tight. Hugs you for a little while, then presses a kiss to the side of your head. "Thanks."
"My pleasure," you giggle - and then he's smiling, too. Feels vindicated by his irrational thoughts about you over the last few days. He pays no mind to the fact you're still technically dressed, and he's basically naked.
As he sorts himself out, you perch back up on his desk and languidly swing your legs. Enjoy the thought of memories plaguing him whenever he tried to play his little games over the next few days.
"You wanna grab a shower?" he offers. "Food, too? Dunno about you, but I'm fuckin' starving."
"Same," you nod, biting down on your bottom lip. "I'll go wash up, you sort food? Are places still open for delivery?"
Checking his phone for the time, Jungkook is surprised that it's closer to midnight than it is to his morning alarm. Only a handful of places will offer delivery at this time, but that's enough.
"Works for me," he says with a yawn, then opens what you had assumed was the closet door. Reveals an en-suite and knocks his head to the side. "Get your shower. Gimmie a shout if you need anything."
Tiles large and grey, it's the perfect counterpart to his bedroom. A little dark, but it's only because Jungkook hates using the big light. Always flicks the small light switches instead. There's a window overlooking the city, and even though you're only seven floors up, the hills of Yongsan-gu mean that he's got a view you could only dream of.
You're about to start the shower up when he calls through. "Is pizza good?"
"Pizza's good," you call back with a smile. Look yourself in the mirror and wonder how the fuck you ended up in the bathroom of arguably the most famous person you've ever met. Decide it's better not to question it.
The shower begins to cascade down, even if your sins are washed way, you know you won't be able to forget the feeling of Jungkook so easily.
Truth be told, you won't even try.
Tumblr media
YONSEI UNIVERSITY DORMS DAESIN-DONG, SEODAEMUN-GU SUNDAY 21:13
"L in the chat," booms the voice of Taehyung through your laptop speakers. His trademark grin rests on his face as he teases Jungkook.
You've only just opened the stream. Instantly, you focus on the prettily lopsided smirk of Jungkook's lips. You've learned it's an almost permanent fixture on his boyish face. Shaking his head, he's adjusting his headset. Making it a little looser so that it'll fit him properly.
No one is questioning it.
What they are questioning, is where the fuck that pretty purple bruise on his neck has come from.
"Cross-fit," Jungkook just shrugs, knowing that it's the colloquial term for suspicious bruises after some idol used the same excuse. Blatant horseshit. Jungkook doesn't care.
"I've never done cross-fit, but I know you're bullshitting," Taehyung snorts.
The chat seems to agree with him.
"Thought I was a virgin?" Jungkook states a little cheekily, making reference to Taehyung's usual banter. "How else would I get one?"
Taehyung knows better than the retort. Knows that Jungkook could very easily slip something about Rae into the conversation.
Virgin? You type through a message on a private discord chat with Jungkook. He'd set it up the day before. Has already sent you, like, a thousand messages. Is what can only be described as obsessed—but it's mutual. Could have fooled me.
As his eyes glance down to his laptop screen, he fails to hide his smile. Had opened your chat on there, cause he didn't wanna accidentally broadcast the messages onto his stream. Despite this, he doesn't care that there are nearly 10,000 people in his stream merely minutes into it. Is far more interested in his chat thread with you. Replies immediately.
Stop distracting meI'm working</3
Giggling as the message pings through to you, there's a giddy quality to the way Jungkook makes you feel.
He'd spent the day in bed with you after your night together. Had wanted you to stay when he started streaming that evening. Said he'd only be an hour or so, and was incredibly pouty when you did leave.
It had just been him on last night's stream—headset off 'cause he didn't wanna adjust it back yet, hoodie on to hide his neck. The other boys were nursing hangovers, so he could do what he liked.
What he did do had you incredibly curious. Was just chatting. Talking to the comment section. Sleepily reeling off facts he'd recently learned about butterflies. Debating over their lifespan.
You're not naive to the fact that Jungkook does this streaming stuff as a profession, and are aware that the more people talking about his stream on other platforms, the more viewers he'll get.
Made sense for him to add fuel to the butterfly-related fire by talking about them.
Had sent you a message earlier that evening to ask what kind of butterfly you had on your skin.
A Monarch, you'd told him.
"See, the thing is," Jungkook had rambled to his viewers a little later on. "Most butterflies have super short lifespans—Monarch's included."
Eyes all starry, lights in his bedroom purple as per usual, he'd looked cosy. You wished you'd have stayed.
"But there's a specific kind. Migrating Monarchs. They're the last of their generation—the final butterflies of the year," he marvelled at the magic of it all.
His facts were a little hazy, but he knew enough. Had been down a you-shaped rabbit hole all afternoon.
"And they migrate, right? Move away from home—somewhere warmer—and then it just extends their lifespan. 180 days. Not 30. That's six months. Six months. It's a long time. It's not fleeting. Not in the slightest."
It's also, curiously, exactly how long you're scheduled to stay in Korea for.
"I dunno," Jungkook had just sighed, a little forlorn, trying to make sense of his thoughts.
He bit down on his bottom lip, stroking his thumb against the hard plastic ears of his headset, then focused on the camera again. Wondered if you were watching. 
He simply shrugged. Said, "Counts for something, though, right?"
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
glitchedcosmos · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Don’t make promises you can’t keep
2K notes · View notes