#usually. they dont live in the city but they come here often to go shopping or to visit their relatives. maybe it can work out!

[tkbrokkoli]

aaaaaahhhh guys!!!

#not fandom related #personal log stardate #at coworker who's v dear to me has invited me to a town festival that's today #i would love to go but there are so many obstacles. i dont think i can take them #the town is a 30 min drive away. which is ok. i could manage that. problem is where do i park. since it's a festival there probably will #only be limited parking space right? i could take public transport which would take 1 h but i'd have to take the train and #i've never taken the train by myself before and it leaves from the main station which is huge and scary. for me i mean #also ive never been to a festival by myself before #basically there are many things that ive never done before that are scary and difficult for me and having to tackle them all at once #is too Much i think #i would rly love to meet up w that coworker tho and im kinda scared this will be our only chance to meet outside of work bc they have #a busy schedule :( but i cant do it. i just cant :((( #i have shift w them next week tho so maybe we can arrange another date. maybe one that's in the city so i could take the tram or bus as #usually. they dont live in the city but they come here often to go shopping or to visit their relatives. maybe it can work out! #i gotta cancel for today now. i hope they won't be sad :/ #i am sad tho. im not mad at myself bc i know my limits and i know i cant push them rn. but i am sad that the circumstances didn't #work out right

[ask-but-beware-the-consequences]

After the End part 4

Continuation of 2x06

Meanwhile back on Earth.

- So, we're just going to live like this, until they come back? - Crowley asked.

- Looks like it - Nina answered - I'm just worried about our shops.

- I think you'll be fiiine - Crowley said reassuringly with an accent on the last word.

- It's uncanny how much you play him so well already.

- Oh. Thanks - he smiled.

- I don't know. You don't look very grumpy - Maggie said, focusing in on him.

- Oh, just let me do some customer service and I'll get there. God, I can't even look at coffees right now! Yuck.

- I feel you - Nina replied.

- I'm... I'm not sure if I get how you act like - said Maggie in fear of getting caught - Can I hang out with you maybe, to get into character more?

Crowley and Nina looked together.

Minutes later all three of them were in the coffee shop, working.

- Are you sure it's fine? - Nina asked.

- Yeah of course, you just put on the service uniform, and nobody's going to care if you don't have a contract working here. You just won't get paid! - Crowley finished with a smile.

- You're enjoying this, aren't you? - Nina asked looking at him disappointedly.

- A bit.

The day was very hectic, and rough for them. But Crowley enjoyed that he now had 2 angelic helpers. It was good to spend time with Nina. And teaching Maggie how to act like a human was simultaneously funny and rewarding. Kind of felt like taking care of a big child.

At the end of the day, Nina, and Maggie were exhausted, Crowley was happily walking with them.

- Ahh! Easiest work day of my life!

- Easiest?! - Nina exclaimed in shock.

- We should do this more often!

- I feel like I need to put my head into cold ice, and just forget about everything that happened today - said Maggie with pain in her voice - they were all so mean! I don't understand.

- Hmm... Yes, that's bound to happen at your first time - Crowley hissed out - Better get used to it, by the time Aziraphael and Muriel get back, you will be the greatest human impersonator!

- Hm... That sounds worthwhile.

- There you go then.

As they were walking, something caught Crowley's attention. The Bentley. It was still in the same place where they left it after the four of them talked. He knew that Muriel loved it very much. The others stopped in their tracks too.

- I cannot place it why - Crowley had started - but somehow I feel sorry for that car.

Nina stepped a bit forward.

- I think it's best to leave it untouched. Their owner isn't here right now.

- Yeah... Yeah.

- So where do we go now? - asked Maggie.

- To home...? Where do you usually go?

- Oh I just walk around the city. I've been only here for a little while, only seen the Sun disappear for like 3 times. Hehe.... It's a bit... Scary.

Crowley looked at them, and gave out a sigh.

- Okay, I think, we should stay over at Nina's house tonight, if it's alright of course.

- S-sure! - Nina hesitated - but why?

- I'm not leaving my body alone with you unsupervised, and Maggie here needs to stay off the streets at least for the nights! - he made a good point, even his head bopped at it.

- Oh my I always wanted to do sleepovers!! - Nina yelled out in joy.

- Yeey! - Maggie clapped - What is sleep?

- This is going to be hard, won't it? - Nina asked rhetorically.

Crowley continued.

- Let's just remember the rules, that... You know who gave us.

- Mhmhm.

- No talking about who we are. No miracles. And absolutely blending in with Crowley's perspective for myself. To make a believable story for outsiders.

- So what is it then? - Nina asked - he got depressed after all that evil coffee business, and he decided to move in with me and Maggie to cope?

- ...MmmYeah?

- I wish I understood anything from that - Maggie said with a sad smile on her.

- You will, dont worry - Crowley reassured her and gave her a cruel wink - on the second day.

- Is it good?

- Depression? Sureee! Look, let's just get to Nina's place, so we can finally start our after work hours to relax.

- Okay, I like that word! I know it. Heh... - Maggie was starting to feel downbeat, but Crowley cheered her up with a pat on the back.

Their night went well. They were together, but somehow with different bodies, it didn't feel so exciting. Especially for Crowley seeing himself out of his body. Same for Nina with Maggie. It wasn't much of a turn on, but it was rather not needed at the moment. They figured talking about their lives, was a good choice for Maggie too. Then somebody brought up boardgames and since then there was no stop to it with Maggie. She thought this was the best night of her life, and even if working in the daytime like today would continue, it was worth it if these "girly nights" went on.

Meanwhile in Heaven, it wasn't long after Aziraphael and Muriel parted ways, and Muriel was onto leaving to the stars. At least she could finally visit the Nebula.

She was happy, in love, but also determined. Giving bravery has worked for both of them as it seemed.

Soon, she got close enough to her recommendation to the two of them, and heard they were indeed there. She gave it a thought, and found it better to dismantle her cloak for a moment. It would only change for her.

He shouted out right after.

- Gabriel!

He looked around in one place, if he can spot them somewhere. Until he popped up right behind him.

- Hello!

- AAAA!.... Stop. Doing that!

- Should I make a noise when I move around?

- No... Where's Beelzebub? I need both of you.

- What is it, traitor?

- You're one to speak.

- What can I say, the name stuck.

- Lovely. Khm. Listen...

- ...Well?

- You really took on my advice of the Nebula. Wow.

- You created the best stars! - Gabriel gave him two gentle fist bumps at his shoulder - of course we'd take your advise on them! Very good choice indeed.

- Wonderful. Now, uhm. We might have had, fucked up a little bit.

- By that you mean, me? Again?

- You... Remember, don't you?

- Yes. I didn't forget anything after that.

- Then you remember how awful you were. And how you didn't want to be awful anymore. And felt sorry for being that.

- Phhhfh, yeah you can say that.

- Yes, right. You see. You, refusing to redo Armageddon, I admit, a very nice idea of you.

Gabriel lifted his arms, like he was doing a little bow, taking the compliment.

- But-

- Oh not again...

- Now that you left, Metatron took Aziraphale away to take over your abandoned position and finish the job for you.

- ...What?! He- heh, he can't do that! He's not even in a soldier shape! He's way too soft to take on any of those tasks. Wasn't he the one who ruined the world ending plan? Why would he do that now?

- Because Metatron has manipulated him into such a tight grip that he either complies or dies! - Crowley hissed out - And they gonna keep filling in new angels to your abandoned post until they find someone who will start it! So how about you own up to your mistakes and help us out for once, to stop this angel demon war for good?!

- ...Fine. But what can I do?

- We need someone to alert and gather the other angels, for a distraction so big, even Metatron gets lost into it! We need to get Aziraphale to talk with God personally.

- So... You want me to do a Lucifer 2.0?

- ...Kind of...?

Beelzebub cut in too.

- Hmm... Maybe we can help you with that.

- You can? - Crowley sounded surprised.

- Well, I would help him, definetely. I try to come up with something with the demons.

Gabriel looked at her, confused.

- Will you really?

- Of course! I LOVE getting into mischief, my flies definetely would like to scare some angels and cover that whole sterile place in. Damn, I want to do it just by thinking of it now.

- Alright then! So Crowley, let's talk about the plan.

- Uh.... Uhm. Okay! - he was surprised that this worked out so well. He didn't have any words, he never thought he'd get this far - Any recommendations, Gabriel? You're better at planning!

Crowley grinned.

Previous

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens 3 #good omens 3 continuation fic #fic

[kiwibes]

So, you cant live the "cottagecore life"?

I am here to tell you that you can!

Wether you're poor, living in the city with no garden or terras, living abroad, have a disability, are poc or still living with your birthgivers, cottagecore is also there for you.

IMO cottagecore (and the like) is about appreciating the smile things in life. Nursing a plant, watching the sun carress the surface, enjoying rain drops falling down, finding fun and love in small acts like cooking, baking, sewing, knitting, gardening, painting,etc. U dont need grand architecture, expensive technology or 'cheap thrills' if you seek small thrills in the simple things. U dont have to like ALL things (I hate crocheting but I like seeing others enjoy it), but I think nearly everyone has a little bit of cottagecore in them. (If smn disagrees with my view, that sounds like a them problem)

So, having lived in cities, suburbs and only very briefly the countryside. Having had a nice income and no income at all and spending a lot of time on how to find these small joys, I will share some tips on how to incorporate some cottagecore into your life

No garden? Not even a terras? Windowsills are your best friend. They are great place for some plants, herbs and regrowths. Some plants dont even need direct light and can stand on your table/desk/shelf

Don't have money for plants? The world is out there! Even the grayest most concrete city I've lived in had some uncontrolled shrubs or weeds growing. Weeds are just as much awesome plants and calling them weeds feels like discrimination? I prefer wildlings. Anyway, you have to be a little more carefull if you go scavenging plants because of private property and hygiene but it is a good excuse for an adventure and remember to bring gloves and take enough surrounding soil to ease the transition of your scavenged treasures. Daisies and dandelions in grassy patches are easy, pretty starters. Love them.

Now you got the plants but not the money or availability of pots? Fear not, almost everything can be a pot. Soda bottles, milk cartons, jugs, chipped mugs, food trays, cardboard packages if lined with some plastic/alu foil,...you might want to put some holes in the bottom to let the water run trough. Put a plate or tray under it. If you need the 'pot' to be raised I found that bottle caps and empty tea lights can do the trick often.

You did get your gruby hands on some store bought plants? Cool, maybe they come in a brown/black plastic pot? You can paint it and reuse. I do recommend to put the plant from that pot in a bigger recipient cuz store plants are usually put in just-big enough pots with lots of fertilizer to keep them looking fresh for sales but they cant survive them longterm. The pots can still be used for smaller plants though. Some plantshops also have a recycle bin for these pots. You can sneak some of them with you. They won't really care

For all the above plant holders, u might think 'it will look ugly, all that plastic and non-unity. If that bothers u, u can paint them, glue them with nice colours or newspaper, make a fun craft project from it. Newspaper, glue and acrylics can hold for quiet some time!

Name tags can be crafted out of popsicle sticks, branches, writing on cobbles, etc.

Regrowths. Propagate some plants, herbs, vegetable. Cheap and fun. Internet is full of tutorials on how to propagate.

Idigenous climate and plants are your best friends. Research the practices of your ancestors/the native settlers. Learn from their lessons and mistakes. You might want to check google books and archive.org for reading/loaning old books about your region.

Sos sewing kits can be your hero if you dont have a sewing shop nearby. All u really need is needle, thread and scissors and you can get started on small projects. Dont aim for a ball gown from scratch though but you can refurbish old/ugly/cheap clothes with a small travelling sos sewing kit.

No fabrics? Use old clothes, blankets, tabletops, curtains or some scarfs. I've found no place yet where I can't buy some scarfs. They are basicly long, rectangular fabrics that can be used for some sewing projects like plushies, head band, tops, pillow covers, etc.

No kitchen? No bake recipes, microwave recipes, what to make in a water kettle etc. Many before you have suffered the lack of a kitchen, including yours truly!

Wall decoration. Print old photos, press leaves or flowers or herbs, calligraph, paint, draw, etc.

No money to buy fancy frames? Not allowed to drill in the wall? Tape and sticky hooks can hold some light weight deco. Tape some paper clips to the wall to hold photos, maps, botanical drawings,...

Laminators are too expensive for my liking. For smaller things you can use tape. Stick it on, fold the tape double, cut. You just laminate a flower. Cut it out, make a frame from leftover paper or cardboard or not, hang it. For the larger things you can us stronger plastic from folder splitters, packing, those slide in things u have to put your front page/homework into. Squash it in between 2 layers and tape/glue/staple/paperclip it together.

No signing voice? Just talk to your plants! The CO2 will do them good.

You dont have to spent money on a plant water diffuser thing. Any mechanical spray thing will work like parfume bottles, sunscreen spray bottles, etc. Make sure they are clean inside before using.

Dont feel bad about plastic flowers

Dont feel bad, ashamed or like you have a short coming for not achieving the ultimate cottagecore aestethic cuz 1. It is an aestethic no one has it. It is meant for inspiration, relaxation and feel good vibes 2. Everybody has as much right to relate to any -core as any other next person. 3. If you enjoy it, it has fulfilled its purpose. Enjoy!

If I think of sth else I will add it. If anyone else has an idea please reblog it with an addition.

Dont hesitate to ask any questions!

#cottagecore #forestcore #garden #gardencore #nature #naturecore #flowercore #forest #cryptidcore #elfcore #everybody welcome #witch tips #tips #life hacks #crafts #craftnotcrap #plants

[sunflowersseemhappy]

Hey if you dont mind could your wright the main 6 with a MC that has a lot of anxiety. And has anxiety attacks in a very crowded or loud places. IDK these are some of the things that trigger my anxiety. You dont have to though.

Here we are anon, took a bit but I’m not entirely sure of how I did on these ones! But I’ll let you be the judge of that, anything wrong or just not great let me know and I’ll change it. As always I hope you enjoy!

Also over 150 followers wow thank you all! 😊

REQUESTS OPEN (because I’m a crowd pleaser!) and here is my Masterlist 

Next up is How the Main SIx would ask MC to move in. (There will be some hilarity to this one methinks!)

Asra

Asra is very relaxing to be around, so relaxing he often makes visits to stressful places feel less stressful.

He’s always been aware of how uncomfortable you get sometimes, so he’s always tried to take it easy especially after you came back because he was afraid your anxiety might set you back after all the progress made.

Taught you to breath through your anxiety and to question your thought’s, getting caught up in your current feelings and worries is not a great thing. And he’s been through similar circumstance, he knows you need to learn to halt those feelings so you can take back control.

Over the years the shop has circulated soothing aromatic scents thanks to Asra. Lavender, chamomile, and sandalwood. Now it’s all Asra smells like.

Introduces you to everyone he knows at a slow pace, just so you know that these people are friends and you’re safe in their presence.

When you’re having an attack Asra always knows, he’s very keyed in to your aura so he knows when you need him.

He’ll get you to go to the market on quiet days and times that way it doesn’t seem so stressful.

But if ever you feel yourself spiralling Asra will take you to a safe area, sit you down and create a sphere around the two of you that makes everything silent.

And its like the two of you are the only people in the world, Asra is sat by you breathing with you and smelling like sandalwood.

Telling you he’s there for you and it’s okay, he won’t let anything bad happen.

Nadia

She has an unfortunate habit of commanding the attention of a room.

So there’s been more than a few times where even though eyes aren’t necessarily on you they’re on Nadia, when you’re next to her...

Her evening parties aren’t really your thing in that case and she’s really accepting of the fact you miss out on the parties.

Most of the time she leaves them early anyway, nobles are ever so boring and you’re a lot more fun to be around anyway.

Yoga has become an activity you both enjoy together, it helps to focus on how Nadia can do such complex moves with her body and it keeps you out of your mind too.

She also suggested writing down your thoughts on a piece of paper and then just throwing it away.

It was a confusing prospect at first but when Nadia explained that once you throw the paper away just believing that you threw your worries away with that paper sometimes helps.

She won’t admit she’s done it too many times to count.

She’s good at reading your cues, seeing you doing something you generally do when you’re anxious or about to have an attack Nadia whisks you off away from whatever is stressing you out.

Depending on how you’re feeling she’ll either take you for a relaxing bath, sit you down for some green tea or chat through what’s wrong and what she can do to make you feel better.

Julian

Probably has his own unresolved issues with anxiety (see Portia’s route book XV for reference, thinking on it he has other symptoms through the other routes which may suggest he has some form of anxiety).

But he’s a doctor, and though he can be worrisome and awkward, when it comes to helping others (especially you) Julian is all in.

Of course his antics are equal parts relaxing and stressful...

Visits to the Rowdy Raven have become less frequent since you came along, but to be honest its been better for Julian’s health and he can’t possibly turn down a cuddle from his favourite person.

But with you around Julian has been making all kinds of healthy life choices, so he really is better off (I promise).

Now the cupboards in the shop are filled with supplements he’s read about that help reduce anxiety; green tea, lemon balm, Valerian root, dark chocolate (non-arguably Julian’s favourite), etc...

Julian is such a worrier when it comes to your anxiety attacks (sometimes he even thinks they’re his fault), but you can’t fault his method of taking you back to the shop as he talks softly about something to take your mind off your anxiety.

Setting you down on bed and just lying with or partly on you, encouraging you to take some deep calming breaths.

He always offers to go swimming if you want to after an attack, the water has always calmed him down and he hopes one day you’ll get the same peace from the water as he does.

Muriel

Muriel’s hut has become the ultimate safe haven.

Although he was initially quite imposing Muriel definitely understood your need to get away from people.

It’s not so much he has anxiety being around lots of people too, he just doesn’t like people but there are other things that make him feel nervy.

A lot of the time just watching him do things is enough to calm you, he just gives off a vibe that whenever he’s around you don’t need to be anxious.

When Asra made Muriel aware for your anxiety, Muriel was probably like “what anxiety?” while you were making a fool of yourself behind Asra with Muriel watching.

After then Muriel started growing lavender outside just in case you need some for some aromatherapy when you’re feeling anxious.

Better yet the forest is the perfect place to practice some breathing exercises, sitting back to back with Muriel by the stream as he’s whittling and the water is rushing by is very relaxing.

There aren’t many trips to the city but when you absolutely HAD to go there Muriel followed along for your sake and its a good thing he did too.

The seemingly inevitable anxiety and the nausea that followed in such big crowds, but Muriel had a plan.

Taking your hand in his and tugging you away, hugging you underneath his cloak so that it felt like everyone had disappeared and it was just him breathing steadily and encouraging you to do the same.

It’s like a tent under there, and it’s quite funny when Muriel sticks his head under there but it, like him feels safe.

Portia

Like Muriel’s place, Portia’s cottage is super chill and out of the way so there’s not a whole lot of stressful happenings.

Portia is however a people person like her brother, so its a bit of trail and error to find out what you’re comfortable with when accompanying her.

She’s just a bundle of positive vibes, it’s hard to feel anxious when her positiveness is practically infectious.

Needless to say your found it very relaxing to garden with Portia, just being able to focus on what you’re doing and how stubborn those weeds are instead of your anxiety has you feeling better.

That and petting Pepi.

And she got the pointers from Julian about diets and stuff... in the end she just thinks whatever your comfort food is works well enough and her comfort foods are the best.

Although some of Mazelinka’s soup works well too.

When you’re having an attack, Portia places her hands to the sides of your face and asks you very calmly to look into her eyes. Calming you down and getting you to a safe place, usually toward the cottage.

Once you are there Portia will get you to lie down in the tall grass and try to make you relax a bit more before trying to cheekily get a laugh from you (she’s always believed laughter is the best medicine).

And if you want she’ll talk to you about it, so long as you’re okay the day is a win in her book.

Lucio

Clueless, but like always he tries and that counts for something right?

May have inadvertently been the cause of an anxiety attack, but the two of you don’t talk about the harvest festival...

But after that day he begged Julian and Asra for some advice to help you out because you suffering felt like he was suffering (honestly he was so dramatic).

You don’t know what he bargained away to Jules and Asra but you’re pretty sure the deal involved leeches, burning his favourite portrait, and kissing Asra’s boots.

In the end Lucio was better off for it, now he has a stockpile of supplements that are meant to ease anxiety, about 50 candles that burn lavender and chamomile scents, and has a booklet of little breathing exercises and ‘happy thoughts for the day.’

The whole experience itself was enough to lift your spirits but the fact that he did it for you is really sweet in a comical way.

Lucio’s favourite thing to do (despite how corny it may seem) is pick out a ‘happy thought for the day’ and just live by it. It spices things up that’s for sure!

Now whenever an anxiety attack hits Lucio is just all invested in you, he’ll excuse himself before whisking you away and just holding you gently. Asking you what’s wrong and trying to solve the problem.

Once that’s done he wants to know what YOU want to do, go back? Take a walk? Go and raid the kitchens for cookies?

He’ll be right by you making you feel like the luckiest person alive.

#the arcana #lucio #asra #muriel #nadia #portia #julian #apprentice #julian devorak #arcana #story #headcannon #prompt #ask #requests #the arcana muriel #the arcana nadia #the arcana julian #the arcana asra #the arcana mc #the arcana lucio #the arcana portia

[spirit-shroud]

what are some roles that have been largely changed for cityrune? since you said queen was an influencer now :]

hi ty for asking me im vibrating. havent gotten to talk about this au now for three years and now that chapter 2 is like real and this time i can like........draw occasionally and i have more understanding of nuance...... [grips table] [screams]

this isnt quite what you asked but heres what's everyone from chapter 1 has been Up To with a little bit of context (and under a read more bc it got LENGTHY):

kris - professional stay at home teen (they live w/ asgore n help run the flower shop sometimes. this decision was entirely bc i dont like toriel). was wrongly diagnosed w Sudden Soul Rejection when they were incredibly young and given an experimental transplanted soul as a replacement. it works for them fine, give or take having to see gaster once a month for checkups. but sometimes the soul makes them skittish n decides they're going to sit in front of the pc and play 30 consecutive hours of a certain simulation game and not even let them drown people in the pool. if it were entirely up to them, they'd be like. passing out on the sofa to documentaries about bigfoot. or practicing cool knife tricks to impress their friends at their next tabletop meetup

- EDITED IN: the soul is kind of their friend. they are wearing a hypothetical get along shirt. most of the time, they agree on actions and things to do. tends to refer to themself + their soul as we/us which originally was just something they did in their head but they kept slipping in speech/text n just became a Thing of how they talk. switches to 'I/Me' whenever smth is wrong.

- also edited in: they believe the soul they have is their original soul bc nobody has told them otherwise. whenever theyre like 'oh yeah we think about our soul n view it as a separate entity to us like. all the time. it likes to hurt if we make too many choices it doesn't seem to like and kind of forces us to be a toned down version of what we want to be but thats just how souls are haha' and everyone is like.... 'Hey Kris That's Really Not How It Is.' theyre like. 'huh. gonna ignore that for now' - this was going to be a plot point

toriel - head of H0MEWOR1D (H01)'s department of education; kind of lost her roots as a simple math teacher as she was pushed into a lot of power she didn't even really seek out. divorced asgore over some miscommunications in their relationship; also loosely as a result of grief from asriel's death

asgore - the same. runs a lil flower/gift shop. people come in more to talk with him than to buy flowers most of the time, though

asriel Flowey - he's back in flower form, thanks to the government an accident. causes a lot of technology glitches wherever he goes, and wants revenge. isn't sure how to go about it. asriel "died" around 8 years before the story takes place and kris still misses him and refuses to even THINK about even the IDEA of calling someone their sibling after what happened, just in case it somehow happens a second time

susie - more of the same really. she spends most of her time either at grillby's (she's sort of become his assistant n helps with opening/closing. it just happened) or getting into low-stakes trouble w/ kris

noelle - she's in the city's equivalent of college and shes so tired. shes So Abysmally Tired n got kinda pushed 2 follow in her mom's footsteps. she's rarely around anymore except through text or on monsters & mages (dnd) night. (however.........she will come back w/ a long break n hang out w everyone again)

berdly - tbh i didnt even consider berdly when i made the au initially. idk what he's doing. probably in a similar situation to noelle??? canonically got kicked out of the M&M group due to clashes w/ other players but lurks in their group chat to posts memes sometimes

didnt rly think of any other of kris' classmates (+ their families) after ch1 and probably will continue to not, until chs 3-5 come out and i gotta whip up roles and histories for like. a lotta guys all of a sudden. i also forgot about noelle's parents

sans - runs a convenience store that everyone kind of thinks is a front, but also it has really cheap snacks and the local teens make a point of stopping there after school. so essentially, more of the same papyrus - similar to ut. is a very polite and sweet boy but you'll know when he's coming

grillby - he's back. he runs a bar like back in ut but the cozy vibes and weird-for-a-bar hours keep attracting kids who need parents, so half of his menu is comprised of overly sweet mocktails. usually only frequented by monsters

QC - same as usual. has a "rivalry" with grillbz but, theyre besties and have a book club

mettaton - he's real and he's back. he's similar to how he is back in ut w/ his EX body. likes to hang out at grillby's and talk to unsuspecting fans. has a show for everything

napstablook - similar to how they are in ut. helps mtt with making music sometimes. doesn't leave the house too often, but spends a lot of time posting on undernet

undyne - unfortunately. more of the same. she is a cop in the monster district. i am also upset by this but couldn't think of anything better for her

alphys - a doctor studying under dr. gaster in the hopes she'll one day take over his research. she spends most of her time as a nurse with a bigger title, though, and blocks out the weirdness of her job with anime.

gaster - weird guy. H01's top soul researcher and resident House wannabe. trying to manufacture the ultimate soul that can be controlled with simple internal switches, but so far he's only had 1 (very limited) success with a certain human. monsters just melt, and darkners just sorta......get weird... he's onto Something, though.

ralsei - lonely boy with some very strange hobbies. popular on UnderNet for poetry, baking videos, and general cryptid vibe. is the DM for the monsters & mages group (also seems to think everything is actually very fine in H01 when it is very much not)

lancer - about the same. professional Round Boy. lives w/ rouxls full time. follows susie around like a lost puppy and calls himself her "underling."

rouxls - runs a hotel/casino kind of deal where the objective Bad Guys hang out, and usually ends up doing any of the spade king's paperwork.

spade king - mafia godfather. kind of a dick. don't play cards with him

seam - works with the spade king as his right hand cat more or less because they have for a lot of years and are in that 'sunk cost fallacy' zone. thinks of retiring to a quiet life in the monster section of town like, daily

jevil - used to work with the spade king, but got imprisoned for Crimes. got weird after The Accident (separate from asriel's accident)

temmies (all) - dont really get mentioned except offhandedly but they run the monster space station. so far, are the only monsters who have ever been to space.

as far as chapter 2 goes:

yeah i dont have much so far for characters. in the original version of the au i accidentally made darkners as a whole just kinda..... not great? like all sorts of weird organized crime ties n sort of going out of their way to be A Problem to the city (not even in like. a revolution way. in a working against them but with the same goals kinda way). with the whole context it worked At The Time, bc i just had the spade king to look to as a villain, and also in this au the darkners are just trying to survive a world that ultimately was not built for them (that humans think they own, and monsters sort of... seeing this and wondering what it'll mean for them whichever one wins), but w/ new info abt how the dark world works n more guys to work with i want to kind of. edit the vibe a bit. like yea darkners will ultimately do whatever it takes to take over H01, but maybe in a better way than like. idk. all this. it doesnt have to be peaceful or anything it just has to be more adaptable as we meet more kinds of darkners

however yeah i thought up 'queen as some sort of childless mommy blogger/influencer' and that completely revived all memory i had of this au. she should be on mtt's talkshow. also she sells collectible wine glasses w/ her likeness

spamton is another one of gaster's failed soul experiments, but he hasn't melted yet, and seems............fine? sort of. so he hasn't gotten decommissioned yet. he does want to give you malware tho. hot monster singles in your area n all that

im blanking on the rest of the guys but i hope any of this was comprehensible

#kc takes questions #cityrune au #idk if tumblr still autotags things but if it does i am SORRY

[rohad93]

Worth the Fight

Medival Au, cause i am nothing if not predictable in what i like to write about. dont expect these updates as quickly as MM. im still working out the plot.

Trees, fields, and more, big surprise, more fields. Sometimes she spotted the occasional wild animal scampering through the grass, though that was the most interesting thing she’d seen so far.

”Are we there yet?” Luz asked for the third time in an hour as she and Eda trudged along the dirt road they had been following for two days as it wound through the fields and forests of the countryside.

“Do you see the city?” Eda asked as she glanced at her apprentice out of the corner of her eye.

“No…”

“Then we’re not there yet!” Eda threw up her arms. “Kid, relax, we’ll get there when we get there, I know you’re tired, I’m tired, hell, King is tired.” She gestured to the demonic dire wolf trotting along beside them, tongue lolling out of his mouth. His black fur shined in the sun but was near blinding against the white fur on the top of his head that created a distinct skull-like pattern across the top of his face.

“Poor baby…,” Luz cooed as she reached out and scratched the space between his horns, making his tail wag.

“He’ll live….” Eda rolled her eyes. “but you might not if you ask me if ‘we’re there yet’ one more time,” she grumbled, adjusting the light plate armor on her shoulders. It was the height of summer and as used to traveling in the stuff as she was, she was still baking under the sweltering midday sun.

Luz just pouted as they walked along. The leather of her boots was rubbing raw spots on the soles of her feet with each mile they walked.

Two days ago Eda had shaken her awake from where she and King had been lying curled up in a pile of hay. The seventeen-year-old had been half asleep and had missed most of what the older woman had been saying to her, just trying to keep her eyes open as Eda rambled on and shoved their meager belongings into an old rucksack.

What she managed to glean from the rapid-paced, one-sided conversation was something about a job, money, and leaving town, which did catch her attention.

They had been to a lot of towns over the years she had been training under Eda, and some were definitely better than others in terms of how the locals treated humans, but the one they had been staying in for the last year was probably the worst of them all. It got to the point that when Eda went to meet potential clients for jobs, Luz had to stay behind because they would take one look at Luz trailing behind her and decide that no matter the older woman’s reputation with a blade, they didn’t want the human girl around.

They’d see her rounded ears and sneer, glaring down their noses at her. Surely any self-respecting witch or sell-sword worth her salt wouldn’t be letting a human follow her around. Eda would say something snarky that almost always resulted in a near brawl and Luz would stick her tongue out at them as Eda stomped away, grumbling colorful words under her breath.

Eda was on her side, but it eventually boiled down to being able to eat and Luz decided it was best to just stay behind, even though it meant she wouldn’t get much in the way of training in swordsmanship or the combat magic that went along with it, not that she could actually do the same kind of combat magic that was natural to Witch’s anyway, being human.

As Eda had once explained it to her, witches had an extra organ, a bile sac, she wasn't entirely sure that's what it was actually called, she learned a long time ago that Eda had a tendency to make things up if she didn't know the answer. Supposedly it was an extra organ that allowed witches to absorb the natural magical energy of their world and use it to add powerful effects to items, especially weapons. Those that did were witch knights, the strongest and some of the most respected members of society, and Luz wanted so badly to be one, to prove that she was worth something, human or not, but without a bile sac, she was lacking the magical aspect, which left her at a distinct disadvantage. Heck, she didn’t even have a real sword, so she couldn’t even do the most basic jobs to help Eda feed the three of them, King alone ate like a horse, with Luz trailing behind him. She was a growing girl after all! Eda always said she’d get one when she thought she was ready, not before.

She’d usually just use the dull-practice blade Eda had given her to work on her stances and strikes, beating the living tar out of whatever trees she happened to come across in the woods while she waited for her to come back with King trailing along behind her.

To say she was glad to be out of that town though was an understatement, even if Eda still hadn’t told her where they were going, and as glad as she was to have left the dreary little town of Beldville, she was so tired of walking!

She pulled at the collar of her violet-colored tunic, sweat was making it stick to her clammy skin, but she knew better than to say anything, they were both hot and tired.

They continued the silent trudge beneath the sun, which thankfully was slowly, but surely sinking closer and closer toward the horizon, though it didn’t lessen the heat any. Eventually, the sun had moved to dip just below the horizon, nearly blinding her with its bright orange rays, as it sank and dark blues were starting to rise up over the horizon line in response to the waning light.

Luz shielded her eyes with a hand and glanced into the distance. The dark smudge in the distance was slowly growing into the silhouettes of buildings and she grinned.

“Is that it?” she pointed excitedly toward the end of the road.

"Nope," Eda said, popping the 'p'.

"Whadda ya mean 'nope'?" Luz whined. "That's a town!"

"It's a town, and we're going to spend the night there, but that's not where we're going," she informed her and Luz groaned, shoulder slumping.

"Where ARE we going?" she huffed.

"Patience, apprentice." Eda wagged a finger and grinned at her, making Luz grumble.

Eda always said that when she didn’t feel like explaining herself, which was often.

It was a small town, and although it was nearly dark there were still a number of people milling about the streets.

A few people glanced at her and Luz frowned, pulling up her hood to cover her distinctly rounded ears from view. There was no need to draw any unneeded trouble when they were only going to stay one night.

Eda noticed the motion but said nothing as she dug through a pouch on her belt.

"Here, Kid." She held her hand out to Luz, who held up her upturned palm as Eda dropped a handful of coins into it. "Go get yourself something to eat and I'll meet you back here at this inn." she hooked the thumb over her shoulder to the worn building behind her.

Luz broke out into a wide smile at the silver coins in her hand.

“Thanks, Eda!” She turned and dashed off down the road with King hot on her heels. Eda just smiled as she watched her disappear around the corner.

Luz trotted down the street, she didn’t know this place, but she knew most towns had pretty similar layouts and the market was always at the center of town, and sure enough, she soon found herself walking through the market with King at her side, most people gave the cloaked girl and the demonic creature a wide breadth, understandably. Usually, creatures like King were wild, bloodthirsty monsters that would just as soon rip off your arm, and she’d seen him do it the last time she’d been attacked by a villager with a human problem.

Luz had never feared him, he’s always just been Eda’s silent companion and her big baby ever since she’d started traveling with the gray-maned sell-sword.

She reached over and scratched that certain spot behind his right ear that made him let out a low growl that almost sounded like a happy hum to her.

“Hungry buddy?” she asked, smiling as they walked and he snorted.

There were days Luz was almost sure he understood every word she said. There was just a certain, almost intelligent look in his rusty, red-colored eyes when he looked at her.

“Let’s get some food then!”

She glanced around at the different shops and a few stalls before her eyes fell on a storefront and lit up.

‘Tomes and manuscripts’

“Book shop!” Luz whispered excitedly to herself and made a beeline for it. “Wait here, King.” She turned to the beast, who snorted and plopped himself onto the ground outside the shop. She pushed the door open and grinned as the smell of ink and old parchment filled her nose.

Luz loved books, though she rarely had access to them. Having to carry everything you owned with you at all times meant that you just couldn’t have some things, and books were heavy and took up space that could be put to better use, for food or supplies, that’s what Eda said anyway. Luz would reluctantly admit she was right, but she didn’t have to like it!

“Welcome!” a voice called from her left. She looked over at the old witch peering at her over his spectacles at her. “Can I help you find anything?”

“Uh, thank you, just looking.” she waved a hand.

He nodded and she walked down the many shelves packed with worn leather-bound tomes, grinning to herself as she ran her fingers over their spines, feeling the smooth, cool bindings beneath her fingertips. So many stories, knowledge, and wild adventures aplenty crammed between two hard leather covers. Luz adored books, a lifelong love affair lit aflame by her mother, who had taught her to read and write at a young age. Something uncommon among the lower classes of witches and unheard of for humans in the Empire of the Boiling Isles, who were the lowest class citizens of them all, but her mother hadn’t been from the Isles. She’d always told Luz about a beautiful place across the sea, with fine grain, white sand beaches, and tall trees very unlike the ones here, that dipped and swayed with the wind, their leaves long and few, but still perfect for blocking out the strong rays of sunlight on a clear day.

Luz sometimes wondered what it might actually be like to see it with her own eyes, she doubted she ever would, her mother had always told her it was far away and she’d left to escape a war, bringing only her native tongue and a sack of food.

Luz hummed to herself as she continued browsing up and down the dimly lit rows of books with rapt interest. She turned a corner and glimpsed a small table covered in old, worn books, and felt drawn to them.

They were all hefty tomes and she flipped through the first few on the stack, nothing of any real interest, some play scripts, and something about treaties on the great war. She set them aside and picked up the last one in the stack. It had a dark brown cover with gold inlay around the corners and spine. It’s worn leather bindings were pockmarked with scratches and divots, some worse than others. She flipped it open and found some of the pages were yellowed and crinkled in places as though they had gotten wet and been left out in the sun to dry at some point.

The pages were full of runic writing that she couldn’t even begin to guess at, but as she flipped through the pages she stopped on one with a drawing, a perfect circle with several lines that made up some kind of symbol.

There was very little text in the book that she understood but one set of runes did stand out, the symbols meaning ‘light’. She’d learned them years ago when her mother had told her that her name meant light.

She ran a finger over the crisp, inked lines of the glyph.

They glowed.

“Augh!” she nearly tossed the book across the room, it clattered across the floor with a heavy thump and she grimaced as it landed on the wooden floor. She held her arms up in defense, but the book only continued to lie there.

After a moment quickly scooped it up and gazed at its gold bindings before she flipped it back open to the page with the illustration. She hesitated a moment, hand hovering over the illustration before pressing her fingers over it, skin running across the rough parchment beneath.

The lines began to give off a pale light as she traced them, till eventually, the entire thing was awash in soft glimmering light.

Luz stared at the glowing drawing with open awe and wonder.

“Magic…,” she breathed.

She’d done magic, she wasn’t sure what kind or even what it was supposed to do, but for the first time in her life, magic!"

She needed to look through this, all of it.

"I'll be closing shop in a few minutes!" The shop keeps voice carried out through the store making Luz jerk.

A few minutes wasn't nearly enough time! Her mind raced with thoughts before finally deciding as she slapped the book closed and hurried to the front counter where the shopkeep was still standing.

“How many snails for this book?” she set it on the counter and he eyed it for a moment.

"This? Bah, ten snails, it has little value to any witch, merely theories on old magic.

"I'll take it!" She slapped half the money Eda had given her on the counter.

Only King would be eating tonight it seemed, but the chance at magic? Worth a hungry night.

He nodded and accepted the coins as he pushed the book back toward her, but as he did, got a glimpse under her hood and spotted her rounded ears.

Luz knew what happened the second it happened. His brows crinkled between his eyes and his once, disarming smile, curled into a sneer.

"A human, in my shop!?"

Luz snatched the book off the counter and bolted for the door.

"No take backs!" she squealed as she burst out the door, making King jump up as she did.

She dashed back the way they had come, the black beast loping along behind her with an excited, rumbling bark.

It didn't take long for them to get out of sight, turning the corner and ducking into an alley.

She pressed her back to the wall, clutching the book to her chest, and waited until it finally seemed like she wasn't being chased; she peeked her head out and found the street clear.

She turned back to look at the worn leather-bound book in her hands and grinned.

She couldn't wait to look at it better later.

King whined at her side, scratching at her with his paw.

"Ah, right, right. Let's get you some food, buddy." She smiled at him and snuck toward the other end of the market, spending the rest of the money Eda had given her to buy meat for the beast, who wolfed it down in record time, practically swallowing it whole before they made their way back to the Inn.

"Get some grub?" Eda asked from her place sitting in one of the beds when they walked into their rented room. King immediately trotting over to the empty bed and jumping up on it and curling up into a massive black ball of fur.

"Fed King, yea." She nodded, pulling off her cloak and kicking off her boots before she climbed into bed, shoving King over.

He growled at her but she just shoved harder till there was space for her to lay. He snorted in response but never lifted his head as she laid next to him, book in hand.

“What about you?” Eda narrowed her amber eyes at her, noticing how she only mentioned king. “And where’d you get the book?”

“Uh…” Luz stalled and Eda sighed.

You bought the book instead of eating, didn’t you?” It wasn’t really a question.

“Yeah…,” Luz mumbled and Eda sighed.

"Well, what was so much more important than eating? If it's another flowery love story, kid, I swear…," she trailed off, rolling her eyes.

"It's not!" she insisted. "It's a book about magic!" She flipped it open and opened to the diagram and ran her hands over it, creating the same glow as it had in the bookshop, which made Eda sit up.

"Well, look at that…" she tilted her head. "What's it do?" She looked back up at Luz.

"I'm… not sure yet…" She shrugged. “I need more time to read it." Eda hummed, looking at the glowing glyph on the paper before shrugging and plopping back down on her bed.

“Whatever kid, just don’t stay up all night looking at it,” she grumbled, rolling over and pulling the blanket up over her head.

“You go it, teach!” Luz promised as she snuggled back against King and flipped through the pages.

She really wished she could read any of the writing around it other than the runes for light. She flipped some more pages and found another diagram, a sketch of a sconce, or something similar with a circle drawn above it and little lines indicating rays of light. She hummed to herself.

She had only the basic knowledge of how Eda did magic. She could just kind of think about what kind of effect she wanted to apply to an object and would press her hand to the blade of her sword and it would glow for a second before taking effect, she’d made her show her enough times to know.

Luz pursed her lips and leaned over to her satchel sitting on the floor by her bed and dug out a piece of charcoal she liked to use to draw when they were on the road or she was waiting around on Eda, ignoring the angry rumbling of her empty stomach. She pulled her training sword out of its sheath and looked at the blunt, reflective weapon for a long minute before carefully drawing out the glyph across the flat of the blade.

she glanced back and forth between the book and her blade, humming to herself when the last line was completed. She hesitated a second before pressing a fingertip to it and the glyph glowed before the bright light spread across the entire length of the blade, lighting the room up.

Luz stared at it in awe, before a bright grin stretched across her face, empty stomach forgotten.

She’d done it.

She’d done magic!

#the owl house #worth the fight #eventual Lumity #Luz Noceda #King #Eda Clawthorne #toh #medival AU

[frostbite-the-bat]

okay back to rambling about spectre except im not adding to that one ramble reblog chain

Okay so obviously they work for Queen since they work and probably live at the mansion

Their position isn't as high as Swatch but they are above most Swatchlings in terms of position

They do a very specific job and I'd say they're decently known for it to those who come visit Color Cafe

This idea comes from my friend, but we know that the Swatchlings do dumb stuff for Queen while remaining all fancy and stuff

Well, even if Queen genuinely cares about Spectre actually enjoying working there, just for the fun of it she goes "ight bestie well so you can keep your special role and all that make a show for me"

and they do

occasionally, Spectre will perform for Queen or any others who might want to watch with either skating or ice skatin

Or better yet...

An entire fucking musical

On skates

with all the other Swatchlings

And they fucking LOVE doing this shit!! I mean they already do soe occasional performance or trick or two at Color Cafe but they can go all out here

Even if they don't do proper ice skating as often (I think they might've even done it competetively for a while) they still love putting on any kind of a show and

They rlly enjoy making others happy so they go

YEAS QUEEN LETS GO BESTIE

Wether or not the other Swatchlings enjoy this goes from Swatchling to Swatchling but I can tell that some of them feel absolute dread when Spectre is like AYO WE DOING ANOTHER PERFORMANCE SOMETIME THE QUEEN WANTS YOU IN AND YES WE'LL HAVE CANONS PSPSPSPSPSP

They're already more energetic, jolly and silly than the usual Swatchling and while they're also pretty fancy and composed most of the time they can let their energy out on this

Also like, they do enjoy like, standing out and having attention on them so this is a bonus

Queen does genuinely enjoy this stuff and I am sure at first she was like lmao do this hell yeah sounds fun I dunno but I think she quickly realized yo y'all got talent

random other rambles i dunno

Spectre definitely overapologizes and if they screw a thing up they feel BAD BAD about it

They actually wear those protective covers on their knees because I think with how the Swatchlings can bounce with their entire body in that one attack they have

I think they're like... Pretty beefy you know? Like they also deinitely have a hard head like you cannot hurt them that way

HOWEVER skidding down like nasty ass concrete and getting a nasty fuckin scratch on your knees isnt fun anyone who went thru that can say sdfgsrgeth since fallin down on your head on something hard and skidding down a hard floor at high speeds are different kinds of damage

So they wear those since they wanna avoid that lol, they're a skilled skater, but you'd never know

They're also pretty scared of the Maice like the other Swatchlings, they're just so fast and tiny y'know

They probably don't like Tasque Manager even if they're covorkers

They like having fun sometimes and like... Bro... Not EVERYTHING HAS TO BE PERFECTLY ORDERED SHUT UP

They definitely draw little smiley faces and doodles on the customer's checks :)

If you're an asshole their niceness could possibly be exploited

They're not stupid and not so completely pacifistic as Ralsei, but they don't wanna hurt people either especially emotionally since it's very complex stuff

They still have beef with people though, like I said with Tasque Manager like they're definitely not perfect

While as a whole they're like

"Oh dear, my apologies for the mistake, why don't we get you patche dup and brew you some tea? On the house."

but they're also LMAO YEAH FUCK THAT BI-

(Sometimes, you must take inspiration from yourself but twist it in a few ways)

they like

genuinely care about other peole and all that but sometimes they do it just so the other person doesnt feel bad and say anything because therwise they will feel very bad to and during those moments they tend to just

ngvhgghGhNbghb nbghbc and just not talk they need a bit

during those moments they like to wait till the place closes and they brew themselves and sometimes watch as well some tea

sometimes theyll both talk about stuff but sometimes they just sit there in silence and enjoy the moment

I'm stating to think f them both more and more as close friends and I am liking this dynamic

I think Swatch is secretly also somewhat energetic, but not as much as Spectre

They are very talkative and love to talk, and tend to overshare as seen in their dialogue where they cut themselves off from telling a secret to a complete stranger

I think that's how Spectre knows all about the basement since they not only work with Swatch, are good friends but Swatch is also like

Dude yo so there's this creepy ass machine in the basement uh yeah don't let anyone in lol but yeah i helped build it

I like to think when they're not working bc I don't think they all work 24/7 there I think Queen would care about shifts somewhat and the well being of her workers in the long run even if she does stupid stuff with them (together) or tells them to do stupid shit sometimes

aaand while they MIGHT live at the mansion I am not sure i haven't decided yet, but I think they would

They still love coming back to the city often as they grew up there and they think it's a charming place

I wonder if they ever skated into the darker calmer streets of the city and met up with spamton post his prime and theyre like

ayo bestie THE FUCK YOU DOING HERE

hshgreth considering i established that Spectre liked Spamton as a frequent customer and recognized him a lot and how caring they are they'd loose their shit knowing he lives in a fucking dumpster DGRHERTH

probably also kinda scared of how he talks now

i also considered that i might make it canon that they were the one to see him tryna sneak to the basement with the machine while he was dressed more like Swatch like

bro bestie the fuck you doin like that outfit is fly but what the fuck im gonna have to yeet you the fuck out </3

mmm i also wonder what their relations t sweet cap'n cakes would be since y'know, they're my fav characters but like considering they DIRECTLY work for queen and that SCC are rebelling against Queen during the duration of the game and such and how far away they are it might not be the best

But maybe they'd know each other a BIT since Spactre lived in the city which is closer to where they are located AND it has some of their shop locations? I mean they wouldn't have always been set up there but who knows

Maybe they djed some music and stuff for their old skating performances

But yeah as much as I want it I am not sure how much these would be able to interact in a more canon sense, even if i go YEA LETS HAVE FUN I think SCC would be a bit :/// since they're working for QUEEN but who knows Spectre is a very sweet person and SCC are pretty chill people like you just "defeat" them by dancing with them aand they think they got you on the good side so

who knows

maybe theres funky trucies

but legit i dont know how this would work but maybe ill figure something out, but for now spectre is mostly in the queen/swatch/spamton character area and stuf

this tok a bit to ramble abt lol bc im also talking in dms but i did wanna write all of this down a bit and brainstorm some stuff maybe,,,, i dunno honestly i dont care if nobody cares but i am just! vibin here

#ramble #long post #spectre

[fmdjoosungarchive]

location: tokyo, studios

date: april & september 2019. march, september, & october 2020

word count: 1753

tldr; verification for sung’s song tokyo. partial lyrics, full comp & prod. the song starts in tokyo, when sung is missing his boyfriend. it evolves over time to be like a diary piece and since it serves as the first ‘chapter’ in his album, it’s also kinda like an intro where it talks through/foreshadows what will be in the rest of the album. sung’s affinity for natural sounds continues, as well as inspiration from @fmdxsuji’s song arari on the composition. again pls dont come for me if it isn’t a gayageum it Sounds like one (in the equivalent of white ppl playing the ukulele but still)

not all songs needed to be about one thing. tokyo, for instance, happened to be about ten different things at once.

it’d started in tokyo. element had a tour stop in the city, and sung wasn’t feeling as chipper as he’d have liked. he loved performing with everything in his being, but-- he still rested his head against the window, watching buildings and people pass by in blurs, no other care for conversation.

sung couldn’t quite make sense of what had caused such a mood in him on the plane from seoul. he supposed, part of it was that he missed daisuke. his boyfriend wasn’t from tokyo, far from it actually, which over time seemed to have made daisuke feel a bit bitter towards tokyo. it wasn’t close enough for his family to visit, which meant seeing them even less often than he would have through touring. sung understood that. he doesn’t like being so far away from his parents the few weeks at a time that element go on tour. years sounded impossible.

but, tokyo still reminded him of daisuke. being greeted at the gate, and hearing chit chat all around him in japanese, sat an ache in his heart. after all, coming to know daisuke over the last four years was the reason he’d come to be better at japanese. passing on by, he could understand most of what was being said, and that was all daisuke’s impact. most every sign he saw reminded him of his boyfriend, the food that he ate reminded him of what wasn’t with him.

maybe, he was just sad in general. that happened to sung, sometimes. he couldn’t pinpoint an exact cause of sadness, and was just sad. underlying issues he hadn’t dealt with could be the reason that happened, but it could also simply be his brain chemistry acting up.

that was his trouble; sung didn’t know. all that he could do was sit in his feelings until they lessened. he took a walk by himself before the concert, telling his manager he can ask for directions if he happens to get lost. that time alone was really needed. he called daisuke, but it seemed the man was busy, as he went to voicemail.

“hi, honey. um, i made it into town safely. it’s- it’s kind of loud here, this might have been the wrong time to call, but, um, i just wanted to check in. maybe see your face.” he’d stopped his path, leaning up against a building to look at the sky. “i miss you already. it’s hard being surrounded by so much that reminds me of you, when i don’t have... you.” his sigh probably sounded tinny over the phone. “anyway, um, call me when you have time, please. i love you!”

sung stayed in that spot for a while, long enough that he decided to record a video of the bustling landscape around him. as he started walking again, he caught all kinds of sounds, cars, trains, planes, click clacking of heels, even a siren. he ended the video with a short facecam, so he could cut that part of the video to send to daisuke.

over the rest of his time in tokyo, sung kept playing that ten minute video over and over, and over again. something about the ambient, faceless sound of human existence was calming, comforting.

in the shower after the concert, sung kept humming the same note pattern on repeat. at first, it was natural, as his brain kept coming back to it, without his active thought towards it. however, the more he repeated himself, the more sung thought that he should be keeping his melody in his head to record after he got out of the shower. it could be useful for something, at some point, he’d reasoned.

he was right, eventually. in the flurry of trying to write songs for his first solo album, sung had turned back to every piece of unfinished song that he possibly could. one of them was this piece, broken into the sounds of daily tokyo streets, and a short humming melody. it was... workable.

sung crafted a simple piano piece based on the humming, used some of the sound from his tokyo video, and just with those two things, it was a basis to write off of. he tried to recall the feeling of that day, by watching the full video of the street a few times over. getting back to that day wasn’t as hard as he thought. papers, then his computer, were dotted in with sing-rap lines about missing someone.

only partially through mixing that vocal line in, did sung think he might be wasting his time. the sound was so different from everything else he’d been working on, much too simply and abstract. and so, the playlist of tokyo was shelved again.

with march came the end of his second solo promotions, and in came the desire to write more music. it was then he came back to toyko, to fiddle around. sung wasn’t sure what he wanted from the song, or if he wanted anything at all, which took some of the pressure off in continuing to write. he made it much more complicated, at first, adding a plethora of digital instruments that he figured he could add in live later, should he so choose. in the end, basically none of that made it into the final cut. the negative of doing whatever he pleased, was that for the most part, he’d lost the point, and feeling, of the song.

what did stay, was something sung came to find integral to the piece. modeled after a recording of his own heartbeat, there was a drum line. deep, guttural, mixed into the piece as if it was still stuck in someone’s chest, and your ear was against it, straining to hear what was pounding into you without any effort on its part.

the song had started to be about life, and those held dear, which was a perfect place to use something that sounded like the foundation of life.

stumbling across the song for the last time was entirely accidental. sung would call it fate. that melody hadn’t crossed his mind in months, but the second he heard it again, it was stuck for weeks. there was nothing he could do to quell the sound in his brain than work on it.

first, he stripped back what wasn’t working, back to the simplistic version he’d started with. after adding on the drums, the world was his oyster. over the next couple of weeks, sung started writing lyrics, mixing where he was at back in tokyo, with his feelings of self. he wondered, if maybe part of his sadness, that day, was in missing himself, too. being in that sad area wasn’t what sung liked to consider part of him. it was something that happened to him, that he dealt with decently regularly.

lyrics took the majority of his time, as he mulled over this thoughts of what the song might come to be, if about anything particular at all. the next major composition change was quite quick, though. his interest had been piqued, the first time he heard suji’s demo of arari. sung had yet to attempt using traditional korean instruments in his music. really, the thought hadn’t crossed his mind until that moment, having his heart swayed by the beauty of the danso and suji’s beautiful voice.

he wasn’t very confident, never having trained with traditional instruments before, but there was a first step in everything. he’d gone to his usual music shop as soon as he had time to, to rent a gayageum. and, simple as the piece he wrote was, it didn’t take too much learning for him to get a good recording of it. listening to it again, with that addition, sung felt how much the song benefitted from that small change, and promised himself that he would continue to learn the gayageum, so that he could make something more beautiful to show the world in the future.

sung also made a note to thank suji for the inspiration.

the next change was quite a big one, though it didn’t deal with the composition. towards the end of september, sung thought he might want to go further than he did with moonchild, and have a song completely in english. even more ambitious than before, he knew, but he also had a slight edge of confidence, after having felt the power moonchild ended up bringing.

a creature of habit, sung called up the same songwriter he’d worked with on moonchild, to request help again. he didn’t really want to translate the words he’d already written, thinking that would flow much less smoothly as a full song, but rather, he wanted to take the feelings he’d put into the korean lyrics, and match it with english.

sung tried to take a more active role in writing the lyrics that time, because it was a full song, based on his own experiences and feelings. it worked fine enough, since sung had a decent grasp on understanding english, even if he didn’t think of it easily himself.

he’d insisted they keep one of the english lyrics that was in the original piece. it was a callback to another song he’d written for the album, talking about love and hate. tokyo was a place that held those feelings, from himself and his original inspiration for the song, just like seoul had from himself for the last decade.

getting to where he wanted was harder than it was for moonchild, since they were starting from near zero, from where sung usually started his songs, and because... sung knew he was being more stressful of a writing partner than he was the last time. every word he wasn’t sure of, he asked for in-depth explanations of, wanting each line to express exactly what it was he was going for.

sung couldn’t explain what this song was about, if he was asked, not in a pretty pink bow. the song was about tokyo, and what that city had brought to sung. that ditty, on repeat, with the sounds of scratched pavement underneath. music wasn’t always simple to understand. it could be a feeling.

the last thing sung changed about the song before sending it off in his final tracklist, was a clip of him humming at the end of the song, with that siren in tokyo in the distance.

#fmdverification #i rly went back thru schedules to see when element were in tokyo lmaoo #i believe this is the song with the most discrepancy on the lyrics n i have Not commented on them #just what the song means to sung specifically #self para #era: happiness #one! more! one! more!

[ofniko]

✧ · ˚ . troye sivan? nah, that’s just nicolas “niko” palmer. you know, they’re the twenty-one year-old youtuber-turned-musician from petaluma, california… still doesn’t ring a bell ? come on, dude ! they’re all over ME.MIAMI’S homepage. it’s impossible for them to stay off of it because of the fact that they’re super mercurial & immature. they’re not all bad though, ‘cause they can be ambitious & warm-hearted too ! you can totally tell they’re a gemini… it’s almost scary. look, if you want to remember them, just think of a shiny pink vinyl skirt with pristine nails to match, designer shopping bags weighing down twiggy arms, and margaritas with extra sugar around the rim, and you’ll be golden. ( flexible pronouns, genderfluid. )

hello friends ! im!! so excited to be back 😭but for those of u i don’t know i’m lainie, she/her, cst, and i talk about stephen king too much :/ below u can find a very lazy intro with some summarized points and stuff (if you knew niko before there’s some changes to his bg, most notably his parents not being wildly wealthy), also bc it’d midterm szn i’m dealing w that this week/part of next week lmao but ill be around ! and i’ll def be here for plotting n stuff tonight so come smash a heart and ill slide up in ur dms or come hmu here or on discord (starslut#0877) whichever works best for you MWAH

background/history

niko was born and raised in petaluma, california. his dad was a wannabe entrepreneur whose tendency was to put all his time and investment money into projects that never worked or came to fruition before moving onto the next one, while his mom lazily strove to be an actress (like her sister, winona ryder) but never had the ambition or frankly talent to actually make anything happen. money from niko’s paternal grandparents as well as whatever his dad did manage to make with investments kept them afloat. they were by no means wealthy, but his parents liked to live as if they were. that meant a lot of fake china, fake brand clothing, fake diamonds, and otherwise cheap ostentation

they also didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to him. they were wrapped up in their own fantasy lives and overall, niko got a minimal amount of affection and attention from his parents who were much more impressed with their ability to find fake diamonds that looked real than their child

niko was not totally immune to the effects that kind of upbringing had on him (although it always struck him as a little weird), but the thing that saved him from becoming like his parents was his connection to his aunt, winona, and her family. as a kid niko only saw them at family events (mostly because his mom was always so bitter about her sister’s success that she hated seeing them) but as he began reaching adolescence he started making a habit of secretly going to visit a lot without his parents’ knowledge

he felt more comfortable there, more accepted (especially with his confusion surrounding gender identity and sexual orientation), and most of all, his cousin logan was his favorite person in the whole world and he looked up to her like a big sister

it was when he first started high school, around age 14, that niko finally ran away from home and showed up at the palmers’ house with a suitcase and asked to be adopted. and he was! winona took him into her home, made the adoption legal, and niko even changed his last name to reflect his new, real family

niko was so much happier in this new environment where he wasn’t brushed off as part of the furniture that he really started to flourish around then. he started experimenting with his femininity and non-gender-conforming dress styles, allowed himself room to figure out his sexuality, and even came to terms with his genderfluidity with a lot of love and support from logan and the fam

he also started his youtube channel around junior year in high school! it was mostly fashion and makeup stuff and it steadily gained a following until he had a good enough platform (and with huge help from the connections he had through winona) to jump into music, which had always been something he loved and wanted to do eventually

he released an ep the summer after he graduated high school (which was received pretty well) and finally a debut album with a major label a little more than a year later when he was twenty. the debut album was what threw niko into the real spotlight--it was all over the radio and eventually went platinum, solidifying his presence as a modern pop star with a devoted fan base

personality

gregarious and extraverted sometimes to a fault, niko can easily get on the nerves of people who don’t have the energy to keep up. he’s like a child who never quite grew out of adolescence, and with that boundless energy also comes a selfishness he’s usually unaware of. it can be very difficult for niko to be conscious of the way his actions affect other people and ends up hurting those close to him that way

in that same vein, when he does realize what he’s done, he’s more often than not consumed with guilt over it and will go to great lengths to try and resolve the issue

not that he always does a good job

he sleeps around a lot mostly because he enjoys it, but partly because he doesn’t know how to have a relationship. the lingering adolescence makes it so he doesn’t have the necessary awareness of another person’s needs to be in a stable relationship and he manages to a large degree to convince himself he doesn’t care and prefers being single anyway

besides music, fashion is his favorite thing in the world and though he doesn’t wear a lot of makeup on the daily, he definitely dabbles and has a lot of fun experimenting

catch him exploring the city and taking pictures, partying, clubbing, brunching, and shopping on the regs and if he’s in a Mood, you can usually tell bc he goes on shopping binges and fusses to an extreme degree over his appearance

also he volleys back and forth between dyeing his hair platinum blond and then going back to his natural brown

connection ideas

gal and gay pals :’) for fashion and shopping and instagram photoshoots

also a best friend ride or die pleaSE and thank u

i need enemies and angst and drama so give me everyone who hates niko/thinks he’s a fake bitch/can’t stand him/his music

high school connections are cute so maybe someone he didn’t get along w back then and does now/vice versa where they were rly close and something turned them against each other and now it’s world war 3 (assuming they grew up in cali!)

COLLABS ??!!!!!!! on music ofc but also possibly youtubers etc he worked with back when he was mainly on there before he released his album

umm!!!! someone who like they DONT get along usually and everyone knows they’re weird frenemies but they VIBE SO HARD when theyre drunk and partying

an ex or two who probably lasted maybe like 3-4 months and it didn’t work out either bc they cheated on niko (would love this angst) OR bc niko was too flaky for them and they couldn’t handle the way niko doesn’t rly understand intimacy and broke it off OR!!! they got really clingy and niko broke it off himself

those were probably referenced on his album and also i’d love to plot specific things that inspired some of his songs

someone who can challenge!! that!! and it’s freaking niko out bc he’s starting to catch Feels but doesn’t know what to do w it/doesn’t know if they feel the same way

PR stuff please thanks!!!!!

maybe like gyeurhus someone he’s a big fan of but they have no idea who he is

vice versa where they’re a huge fan of niko and he’s completely unaware of them

someone who produces his music P L E A S E bc i see niko writing the lyrics but someone else actually doing the sound production and helping with the music writing process etc

#ritzyintros #intro #im!!!!!!!! such a disorganized mess good luck reading this :)

[irwintry]

The Tilt-Shift Effect

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, brief mention of drugs

Author’s Note: i think i spent too much time on this honestly i dont even know how i feel abt it

playlist

Word Count: 6.2k

–– a phenomenon in which your lived experience seems oddly inconsequential once you put it down on paper, which turns an epic tragicomedy into a sequence of figures on a model train set, assembled in their tiny classrooms and workplaces, wandering along their own cautious and well-trodden paths.

Ashton had wealth, but he ate his cereal out of two-dollar plastic bowls from Target. He owned fourteen, specifically, so he could let them pile up in the sink for two weeks before he was forced to accept the grimy challenge of washing dishes. He had the cabinet space to hold up to twenty-one, though he figured that was a bit excessive. His laziness could only be condoned for so long. If he chose to purchase more, he’d be better off hiring a maid.

Sometimes, Ashton took up weird hobbies during his downtime. His works of crochet were hung on the walls of hallways, and his ceramic mugs got their daily use through early morning coffee fixes. Once upon a time, he tried beading, and his old girlfriend received most of the precious pieces. He had to do something other than songwriting or else it would fry his brains out.

He purchased a new pair of winter gloves the other day. He lived in Los Angeles–– he didn’t need a pair of winter gloves, let alone a new one. Ashton wasn’t spending money on pointless things because he was bored of his life. No, he loved his time on tour with friends. He loved sharing moments and memories that would last forever. And then, he would be home again, cooped up in the confines of his expansive home with fourteen plastic bowls and crocheted hallways. Ashton needed his life to be fast-paced, otherwise, he’d start beading again.

A few weeks ago, he considered writing a novel. He purchased a Nalgene, hiked up whatever mountain was closest (while simultaneously sweating enough to fill his new water bottle three times), and jotted down whatever emotions slammed into his head. He was hit with nothing. The destructive instinct of tossing his journal into the deep brush overcame him, and Ashton decided that if he were to write a novel, he’d need to go somewhere a bit more inspirational than the dry mountains overlooking smog city.

He suffered from tinnitus quite often, especially on airplanes or any high altitude above sea level (to be exact). Maybe it was partially due to his career as a drummer, or maybe it wasn’t. Whatever it was, and whatever the reason, he despised the perpetual ache. It ruined any social event or interaction for the two days following, but in this case, it ruined his right to think. After packing for twenty minutes, Ashton sped to the airport, his ear already clogged from the mountain climb earlier that morning. The information desk was his first destination, and then it was wherever from there.

“’m sorry, Ash, but you’re where?”

Ashton took a glance around at the baggage claim area. So, he could take the silver line, get a taxi or a limo, or schedule an app ride to wherever he was going. It was good to know he had options. But what the hell was the silver line?

He chuckled. “I think I took a flight to Boston.”

The other end of the phone call was silent.

Truth be told, Ashton hadn’t meant to fly to Boston. He hadn’t been tremendously picky when it came to choosing the final destination, so he picked a random time off of the top of his head, and whatever flight was scheduled to board then, he’d buy a ticket. Boston it was.

“Why the fuck are you in Boston?” Luke wondered, his sentence ending with a lilt and a laugh.

Calum entered the conversation. “Are you having an emotional breakdown?”

“Did you try beading again?” Michael quipped.

Ashton had to chuckle once more. He wasn’t sure he would ever tire of his friends. “Needed t’get out of LA, mates. To clear my head.”

“So, you chose Boston?” Luke spoke up through laughter again.

“’s not a bad city,” Ashton replied. The loud buzzer by his baggage claim began to sound, and a second or so later, the first suitcase tumbled down. “There’s Cambridge, too. That place can be pretty.”

“I think Ash will make the perfect Bostonian,” said Michael. “He gives off perfect Masshole vibes.”

Ashton snorted. “Thank you, Mike.”

“Anytime.”

Ashton noticed his bag was the fourth to slide down on the conveyer belt. “So, uh, does anyone know what on earth the silver line is?”

-

There are ninety-five to a hundred billion nerve cells in the human body, and right now, Ashton could feel every single one. The safari app on his phone had close to ten tabs open purely to help him understand the train system, but then he ended up freaking out and taking a Lyft instead. He had started to realize his mistake in coming here the moment he finalized everything with his Airbnb in Back Bay (wherever the hell that was). He could vaguely remember a few designated spots him and his mates hit for yoga or brunch when they had been in the city, but they were never here long enough.

The penthouse he was renting lacked activities, but the bathroom was nice. The lighting made his pores stand out a bit more than usual, so that was another downside. Also, he was two inches taller than the showerhead. Otherwise, he loved the place. The roof would be a nice touch if the temperature outside hadn’t frozen his nips off through three layers of clothing. With a sigh, Ashton tossed his belongings to the floor and collapsed onto the couch.

So, he didn’t know why he was here or what he was going to do while he was here. He hardly made it out of the airport alive, and he assumed that, once people knew he was here, walking the streets would be a damn nightmare. Maybe he could give himself cabin fever and write down whatever psychotic thoughts came into his head. That would be an interesting novel.

Ashton didn’t know what he was thinking, but he did know that he needed a fucking beer. And, like all great cities, there were plenty of bars.

However, despite the lovely array of bars, he needed a place that was lowkey. He needed the place three blocks west in its eighteen-table glory. He needed the distance murmur of conversations from old friends and regulars, and he needed that sharp sting of tequila sloshing down his throat. What he didn’t really need, was the live performance taking place in the closet-sized underground bar, but he felt bad that the ten people in there hardly gave a shit.

Ashton listened from a small round table by the wall. He didn’t know why–– maybe it was the alcohol, but the light strum of guitar and angelic singing voice traveled through every ninety-five to a hundred billion nerves in his body. His heart connected to the lyrics, the strings plucking as if it were on the guitar. Maybe this was why he was here.

You had noticed him from the corner of your eye, though your hands only froze for a split moment before you flickered your gaze back to the few men on barstools. This was the exact reason you had to perform with a lyric sheet before you–– unexpected guests like Ashton Irwin would wander in and listen to you sing.

Truth be told, this was your first time performing in front of a big name, and you were somewhat upset you had worked through your headache to be here. It should have been a sign when your guitar took twenty minutes to tune and when two cars almost ran you over on a crosswalk. It should have been a sign when your vanilla latte from Pavement burned your tongue and made you cry.

But here you were, singing lyrics you no longer felt with a shaky voice in front of a man whose eyes were glossed over from the alcohol. At least, that was what you assumed. His thumbs darted to the inside corners of his eyes and rubbed along the water line. You absolutely could not believe it. You had made him cry.

“Uh, thank you,” you said into the mic. Only Ashton was watching you, so truly, you were thanking him. “I’ll be back soon with some happy songs, I promise.”

He cracked a smile.

You had your back turned for under a minute as you put your guitar away, and when you stood to go talk to him, he had already gone.

-

“I’ve tried approximately seventeen coffee shops in the past week, and only four of them sold bagels, and two of those four had comfortable seating,” Ashton explained. With his phone nestled between his shoulder and his ear, he darted around the kitchen, a spatula for his eggs in one hand and a bottle of orange juice (for some reason) in the other.

“And, how many of those places had good coffee?” asked Calum.

Ashton sighed. “Seven.”

“How ya gonna narrow it down, then?”

Once he set down the bottle of juice, Ashton placed his phone on the counter and pressed the speaker button. A buzz of white noise filled the large kitchen. “Well, two of the seven had bagels, and one of those had good coffee, good seating, and bagels. But the problem is, those bagels weren’t that great. So, like...”

“Life really sucks for you,” his friend replied with a quick chuckle.

“And I still haven’t figured out how the fuck to ride the train, so I’ve spent like two hundred dollars on Lyft rides because I can’t walk, and– “

“Are you doin’ okay, mate?” Calum questioned, worry lacing his tone while Ashton struggled with scraping the eggs off of the pan and onto his plate.

He thought for a moment as he turned off the burner. “I’m– ‘m not doing bad. Jus’...” Ashton sighed. “A part o’ me doesn’t wanna leave, but I don’t have any reason to be here.”

There was silence on Calum’s end for a moment as well. Meanwhile, Ashton was pouring his juice. Truth be told, it was close to one in the afternoon, and he was just now having breakfast.

“And like,” he mumbled before letting out a quick huff due to the small juice spillage on the counter, “I feel kinda stupid. Like, I literally hopped on the first flight that caught my eye. I coulda gone to Milwaukee, or I coulda gone to Paris!”

“Boston’s pretty cool,” replied Calum.

Ashton shrugged to himself. “There was this really good singer at this bar the other day. Thought she was cute n’ all.”

“Did you get her number?”

“No,” he said. “I– I left pretty quickly. Dunno. I panicked. I haven’t been back since.”

“Why?”

“Dunno.”

“You should go back.”

Ashton’s brows knotted together. “Y’think?”

Calum let out a laugh. “You’re acting like a fourteen-year-old.”

Ashton sighed.

“Yeah, go back,” his friend continued. “Why not? If she’s not there, try one more time. And if she’s not there again, go to fuckin’ Belize. Ash, ya flew to Boston on a whim. You’re feelin’ burnt out–– you want to write a fuckin’ novel for Christ’s sake, mate! Maybe it’s all a path that leads to her. I mean, ya never know if you don’t try.”

Ashton nodded as he poked and prodded at his peppered eggs with a fork. They had cooled significantly now, and his hunger was only growing stronger. “I’m supposed t’be the wise one. ‘m older.”

In response, Calum snorted and uttered out a meek “yeah, right.”

“I’ll– I’ll go back tonight.”

And, Ashton did. His stomach twisted tightly as his long legs took him in quick strides across bridges and down busy streets. He kept his head down the entire time, his thin sweatshirt hood loose against his untamed hair (he hadn’t thought to put in the energy). The cold bit, and he figured he would have to invest in a nice winter coat from some store down Newbury. He heard it had a lot of nice stores.

The bar was quiet again, the same few guys still situated on their stools as if they hadn’t left in six days. He paid for a beer – didn’t matter what kind – and stalked towards the same table he had sat at before. Everything was the same, but you weren’t there, and he assumed you wouldn’t be. For a second, he hoped he had gotten the time all wrong, or maybe he had imagined the whole thing. Moments later, his beer had gone down a few centimeters, and you were rushing down the stairs with your guitar case on your back and a music stand in your hand.

“Sorry, sorry Stewart!” you yelped after banging the shoulder of one of the men at the bar.

“Jesus, Y/N, you don’t have t’rush,” he joked, but you continued on hurrying to get your things set up. “We’ll be here all night.”

You huffed. “Well, how ya gonna have an enjoyable night without me?”

Someone else chuckled. “I’ll drink to that.”

So could Ashton. His heart rate had tripled since you raced in wearing your cute bee socks. He hoped the flush of your skin meant more than the freezing temperatures outside, but he wasn’t entirely confident you had noticed him sitting there until you were situated on your stool.

“You missed out on the happy songs,” you said as you – to his surprise – gazed over at him. “That’s okay. I’ve got a few more in store.”

Ashton didn’t cry often when it came to happy songs–– he truly thought his reactions to music were pretty conventional. Somehow, you were able to evoke more emotion than he even knew he had. His beer had more tears in it than alcohol by the end of your set. He wondered why no one had discovered you yet, but then again, you fit perfectly in the position you were in: playing for only him to listen.

He wanted to do what Calum suggested. He wanted to talk to you and personally get your name without having to know it because he overheard it from Stewart. For some reason, every ounce of confidence that Ashton had spent years developing in the music industry stood no chance in comparison to you. He darted as soon as you smiled his way.

-

Ashton had burned through four bottles of Naked juice by the next evening. It was his compensation for hardly having a thing to drink at the bar simply because his brain chose to be infatuated with you for that short amount of time. Also, he bent the shower head by accident, and he almost locked himself on the roof last night when exploring.

In the morning, he had briefly forgotten where he was. There were ten texts from friends awaiting him as he fumbled with the coffee machine in the kitchen, and most of them had something to do with him flying across the country to a city that hardly mattered a thing to him. Ashton chose not to answer any of them. He didn’t owe anyone an explanation for his decisions; however, he felt as though he owed you his ears. You deserved to have someone who cared about your music.

You, on the other hand, had been hoping and praying that the previous night would run smoothly. Ashton had no reason to show again, and you assumed he had only been in town briefly. And then, he hid in the corner once more, eyes trained hard on you as the tears threatened to spill. You had to blink a few times to make sure your mind wasn’t playing tricks on you. This man played arenas holding thousands all across the world. You played for your roommates and middle-aged drunkards in a bar with a maximum capacity of thirty. He should not have been there.

Though the nerves were still there as you played through John Denver covers and original songs that would only see the inside of the bar, it was nice to have someone new listen in. It was numbing to only play for Richard, Frank, Steve, and Stewart. Now there was Ashton, the famous drummer who somehow found his way to Boston and somehow wandered into the same bar you played at a few times a week. Had someone filmed you and posted it online? Was he here pretending to be a talent scout?

You needed to know. But Ashton was good. In that same minute you were putting away your guitar, he slipped out again.

So, you figured he wouldn’t show anymore. Nobody of great importance stayed in Boston long enough. And then, he did show. For the third time in a row, Ashton was giving you his full attention, and you weren’t sure how you felt about it. He showed a fourth time, and then a fifth. A whole two weeks had passed, and he was still showing up.

By this point, you convinced yourself that it was a-look-alike.

Ashton, meanwhile, was convinced that you were the reason he was here in the first place. He didn’t know if it was the cute giggle that escaped your lips when you slipped up on the chords, or the crinkles by your eyes once you let yourself get lost completely in a song. Or, maybe it was the precious pout you wore when there were mic difficulties.

It was possible he had become a bit too hooked.

“What even is there to do in Boston?” asked Luke while Ashton was busy avoiding ducks and squirrels by the edge of the pond. A part of him considered dropping his phone into the shallow waters, but his friends needed to know that he was doing okay.

“Uhh,” Ashton glanced around, the dead leaves and bundled-up strangers catching his eye. Truly, he should have picked Italy or something. “Ride a train. Eat food. Yell at cars.”

Someone cackled on the other end of the call. “You make me sad.” It was Michael.

“I’m fine,” the dirty-blond answered, “truly. It’s about Christmas time, so the lights are really nice. Depends on where ya go but things are like, kinda calm here. And, there’s this bar– “

“Jesus, Ash, have you even talked to her?” asked Calum.

“Well, no, but– “

“Her?” It was Michael again.

Ashton frowned. “Well there’s– uh, there’s this– “ He kicked at a few stones and watched them tumble into the water. “Girl.”

A chorus of ooo’s and laughter filled the receiver before Luke spoke up and said, “All right, Ash, buddy. What’s she like? Satisfyin’?”

“I-I haven’t even talked to her yet.”

And then, there was a moment of silence.

“She plays at this bar,” Ashton continued, “a few times a week. And, fuck, she’s like if Sara Bareilles and Phoebe Bridgers had a baby or somethin’. ‘m probably the only person in that joint who gives a flyin’ fuck about her. She’s so beautiful.”

“Well shit, Ash,” Michael interjected, “what’re you waitin’ for?”

“That’s what I told him!” Calum shouted.

Ashton didn’t know. He didn’t know after the phone call ended, and he still didn’t know on his walk back home. He thought about you too much to not give this a chance.

At home, he thought about you while making dinner or shaving his beard. He thought about you when coming up with strategic ways to get around the city without being seen. He thought about you once he finally figured out how the train system worked. No matter what, he thought about you, the cute girl who sang her heart out for people who only talked over her.

He wondered if you thought about him, too. There was no possible way you hadn’t noticed his presence–– you locked eyes too many times and it made his heart flop every damn time.

Ashton would spend the walk over to the bar thinking about what sweater you would wear that night. Would it be blue or red? Would it fit perfectly or leave enough room for another human to cuddle underneath? You took your shoes off when performing, so he began to think about what socks you would wear, too. The blue ones with cats? The frilly white ones? The rainbow ones with dinosaurs? His smile grew wide as he climbed down the stairs to the small bar.

Tonight was the night he would talk to you he decided. He couldn’t fall into the habit of coming and going, especially when he truly wanted to talk to you. Somehow, those billions of nerves held him back.

Ashton sat at a table closer to the tiny stage. You were in the middle of a song when your eyes glanced down to his figure, and he swore you could see his cheeks burning hotter than the neon sign beside his head.

“Hey stranger,” you said after the song had ended, and you sent a wink his way. “This next one is dedicated to you.”

His mouth fell open, but he quickly covered up the expression with a long sip of his beer. It was like you knew how to win him over. A few chuckles sounded the bar from behind him, but he couldn’t take it upon himself to care as your nimble fingers strummed a melody that felt like pure honey in his ears. Your voice was what made it sweet.

It was possible the small bit of alcohol that made the fuzz in head travel down his spine. The bubbling in his chest was an artist, for the smile it etched on his face was unlike no other he had felt. Ashton couldn’t imagine the sensation of actually speaking to you face-to-face.

“Thank you to my– my number one fan,” you mumbled shyly with the prettiest smile that could send anyone into a euphoric state. Your eyes were gentle as they peered down at him, and he swore his heart had taken a flight to Milan by now.

You turned around to pack your things, and Ashton had to restrain himself from fleeing like he typically did every time. Usually, he was better at this. He could talk to anyone back home without a single ounce of anxiety, but now, his feet did most of the talking. So, he imagined that he was stuck butt-first in cement and stayed still.

He didn’t know that you would nearly drop everything when you turned to see him there. Ashton fought free of his invisible restraints so he could rush over and help gather your lyric sheets, but he didn’t know he would be so shaky doing so. He hadn’t been this nervous since the first ever performance with his band.

“S-shit, thanks– thank you,” you sputtered, clearly flustered from the accidental mishap. You began to lightly laugh at yourself as you crouched down, and he admired that. “’m a bit clumsy.”

“Is that your name?” he asked and cracked a smile. “A bit clumsy?”

Maybe you had blushed, maybe you hadn’t. Or, maybe it was the few lights shining directly on the two of you from above the small stage. “Uh, n-no. ‘s Y/N.”

He smiled and nodded, reaching out his free hand to shake your own free hand. He knew your hands would be soft despite the guitar callouses, but he hadn’t realized how badly he wouldn’t want to let go. “Ashton.”

“Yeah,” you replied hazily, then your eyes widened before you rose to your feet. He followed suit as you stuttered out, “I-I mean yeah, I– shoot. I mean I know who you are, it’s just– “

“Y’okay?” He grinned. So, he wasn’t the only one who was nervous. That was good.

You nodded. “I’m– I’m great. Just confused.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well...” You shrugged and placed the sheets of music back onto the music stand. “You-you're not exactly a Boston native. And, you keep comin’ to this bar.”

“Cos’ you’re talented.”

“And– wait, what?”

Ashton’s smile grew. You truly did have more confidence on stage than you did in person; it just meant you were destined to perform. “I keep comin’ back to hear you. I like your stuff. I like your voice.”

You gazed up at him, cheeks hot, and you were desperate to get out of the harsh lighting you had been sitting in for close to a half hour. Behind him, the folks at the bar were chatting and gazing back occasionally at the two of you. “You’re... wow.”

“You’re really good.”

“Th-thank you,” you replied, “so much.” The smile had yet to escape you, and it was possible that it had grown larger. “Um, so why-why are you in Boston? Of all places?”

It hadn’t occurred to him that you would ask that question. Surprisingly, in the past two weeks, no one had. He went a few days without getting recognized altogether, but he knew he’d have to answer questions at some point. But, for now, he shrugged. He didn’t know the answer. “Spontaneous adventure.”

You chuckled. “To Boston...”

He laughed a little, too. “Yeah, to Boston.”

-

The simple question of “can I walk you home?” could only go so far. Ashton hadn’t insinuated anything, and you didn’t think he had either. But if both of you were honest, you didn’t want to say goodbye just yet. So, you told him to “hold tight” as you raced up to your apartment to drop your things off. He was in the same spot where you had left him, hands deep in the pocket of his pretty-penny coat that had a hood the size of Canada.

“Y’sure you don’t have plans?” he asked you, letting out a puff of air through the frigid night. Ashton didn’t mind the cold as long as he spent it with someone to preoccupy his thoughts. You were well-qualified for that–– he couldn’t think of anything else but you and the way the lights in the trees reflected in your eyes.

“It’s eight-thirty on a Thursday night,” you said. “Normally, I’d be in bed by now.”

Ashton let out a chuckle, and he couldn’t believe that he could have had this last week. You admitted that you had been hoping he’d stick around after all this time, and ever since that moment, he tried not to mental curse himself.

“Walk fast,” you muttered to him. “My favorite coffee shop closes in an hour and a half.”

You were taking him through parks and vacant neighborhood streets, and he was grateful. These were shortcuts he hadn’t thought to take himself. Besides, he’d rather enjoy them with you anyway. You hopped off of curbs, kicked stones in your path, and jogged across large fields whenever the two of you came upon one. He had never met anyone who found such joy in the little things, and he loved that about you. The night was cold, but you were happy.

Were you happy because you were with him?

Ashton tried to enjoy it as much as you (well, he did enjoy himself, but he preferred watching you enjoy yourself–– it meant more to him anyway). Watching the way your eyes lit up as a few snow flurries fell from the sky was enough to keep his mood steady for the next few months.

“If we get coffee fast,” you said, “we could go to the MFA. I mean, like, you would have to pay unfortunately because I get in for free, but– “

“The MFA?” Ashton asked you as the two of you turned a corner. Before he realized, you were walking up a few steps and opening the door to the coffee shop you told him about.

“Museum of Fine Arts!” you exclaimed before greeting the baristas in the small establishment. “Can I get a small caramel latte with almond milk and a molasses cookie, please? Both to-go”

He grinned, still watching you intently as if you were made of pure gold. Everything you said was drenched in it. Ashton didn’t know how to not fall for you. He pulled out his wallet before you could and handed the person at the register his credit card as he said, “small cider for me, please. Also to-go.”

“Excuse you,” you gasped, and then you pouted, and Ashton thought he was going to lose his shit. Either that or his cheeks would fall off from smiling so much.

“You worked hard tonight,” he said. “You deserve it.”

You rolled your eyes. “Dummy.”

Ashton liked the fact that the two of you spoke to each other as if you had been friends all along. It felt natural, and that only made him more nervous. If it felt natural after only knowing you for a few hours, he couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel later on.

“Want some?” you asked, holding up the molasses cookie as you both began in the direction you came from. “It’ll change your life.”

“Uh, sure,” he replied, pulling off a bit of the cookie before placing it on his tongue. Ashton had never been a huge fan of molasses, but he didn’t mind it all that much. Nevertheless, he nearly moaned at the taste just to please you. “That’s crack,” he joked before taking a sip of his cooling cider. “MFA time?”

“You wanna go?” you asked with a small gasp. “You still wanna spend time with me? I’m shocked.”

He chuckled. “I don’t think tha’s a crime. You’re talented and fun to be around.”

“Half of the world is jealous of me,” you said.

“Yeah, well,” he sighed, “luckily, half of the world doesn’t know about you yet. Once they do...” Ashton didn’t want to think about you becoming overwhelmed with personalities and fans. He liked you here. He liked you now. And then, he realized he said yet. But you didn’t notice.

“I can only imagine,” you huffed through a mouthful of cookie. “Dunno how you’re able to get around here without strangers proddin’ into your life.”

“Ah, I’ve recently developed ninja skills,” he said. “And, I’m also Spider-Man, so I can jump from building to building. Oh, and I’m a mermaid, too so I can swim across the Charles if I need.”

You winced, and you even made an euughhh sound before saying, “I wouldn’t even stick a toe in the Charles if you dared me for a million dollars.”

Ashton felt his laughter deep in his chest, and he hadn’t expected it to echo as the two of you prepared to cross the giant field once again. And when you danced your way across the turf, he gladly held your belongings so he could slowly catch up to you. He was amazed that you felt no sense of embarrassment, but that made him even happier. It just meant that you were comfortable around him.

He didn’t mind paying for his ticket whatsoever–– he would spend all of the money in his bank account if it meant never leaving your side. You showed him all of your favorite pieces, like Dance at Bougival by the artist Pierre-Auguste Renoir (who, according to you, was definitely one of the best Impressionist painters), and you took him down to the Ansel Adams exhibit. That was his favorite part in particular; it was the kind of photography he wished he could create.

Most of all, Ashton didn’t mind standing back and admiring you from afar as your eyes scanned the wide canvases before you. He wanted you as close as possible, but he could appreciate your beauty in full this way.

“Do you smell potatoes?” you wondered aloud at one point, and truly, he did smell potatoes. The smell hit both of you before the sounds of whatever event was being held did. Soon after, you could hardly hear your thoughts over the band and loud chatter. “C’mon,” you said, taking his hand and pulling him down a large hall, “I wanna see if we can crash.”

Your hand was in his. Your hand was in his, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Your smile grew as you followed the blaring music into a great big hall. There were servers and chefs darting behind dividers, and from the middle of the room, you could see down into where the event took place. People were dressed to the nines as the band in the distance played a song he recognized from Notting Hill.

“Art installation,” you gasped, tugging on his hand. Meanwhile, he was trying to figure out a way to intertwine your fingers with his. “Do you think I could get them to let me in by wooing them with my magical voice?” you joked, giggling as your entire face lit up with laughter.

Ashton nodded. “You could woo them with your smile, darlin’,” he replied. The next moment, he managed to wedge his fingers in between yours, and you didn’t even think twice about it. Your eyes sparkled while you tried to sneak up further to catch a better glimpse at what was happening.

“Well, you could woo them with your smile... darlin’,” you said, shooting him a wink.

Ashton finally decided that Boston hadn’t been a bad idea after all.

-

“I’m not tired,” you replied despite yawning midsentence. “Promise. It’s only– “ You checked your phone. “It’s only two in the mornin’.”

“Bedtime for me, sweetheart,” Ashton chuckled. “But believe me, I don’t want this night to end either.”

You sighed, wrapped your arm around his as you rested your head on his bicep. Ashton felt the need to thank you for this. He felt warm around you, and not just because you were leaning into him. He had developed feelings for the idea of you during the past two weeks of witnessing your lovely performances, but tonight, he had developed feelings for the actual you. It was quite possible that you had as well.

“Where ya stayin’?” you mumbled against him.

“I have an Airbnb on the next street over from here,” he responded as he glanced down at your tired self all cuddled against him. It made his heart got berserk. “But ‘m gonna walk you back to your place.”

“You don’t have t’do that,” you said.

Ashton shrugged lightly. “I want to.”

You sighed again, letting your head fall back against him as he pulled you closer (if that were even possible). The two of you walked in comfortable, sleepy silence down a few more blocks and over avenues. At one point, he swore you had fallen asleep, yet your feet were still walking as normal with him blindly guiding you along. He didn’t recognize where he was whatsoever, though, within a few minutes, the two of you reached your destination.

“Hm, we’re here,” you mumbled, blinking rapidly before rubbing your eyes.

“So we are,” he said, mostly to himself as his brain sped through countless options as to what he should do next. Would he ask for your number? Would he tell you he’d see you again soon? Ashton didn’t know what to do, but the moment you stepped closer to him, he knew he needed to pull you in for a hug. He needed your warmth, and you gladly accepted his. And when you began to pull away, you stood high on your toes and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek.

“See you tonight?” you asked, a lazy smile forming on your features as you slowly backed up towards the front door to the building.

He grinned, grazing his cheek with his fingers as he muttered out a satisfied, “see you tonight.”

-

Ashton started his novel the next afternoon, the words finally hitting his brain in just the right places as they found their home on an empty word document. He wrote and wrote, his fingers hardly feeling the repercussions of the endless typing, and before he knew it, it was time to see you again. A part of him wanted you here with him as he wrote–– maybe you were the inspiration he needed all along.

And when he walked into that bar he now knew all too well, you were already there to greet him with a smile so big, any satellite in space could see it. Ashton knew he would be head-over-heels from the get-go; however, he hadn’t expected to fantasize about stupid things like taking road trips or late-night kisses. They weren’t stupid per se, though they weren’t his typical fantasies. Sure, he had a hard time showering without thinking of you, but that made him feel guilty. He could bite his fist and pull his hair all he wanted, and he’d still wonder about how you liked your eggs or what your favorite color was.

He took you out to eat afterward, both to congratulate you on another fabulous performance and to make it known that this did, in fact, count as a date. He had even let the word slip out once or twice, hopeful enough that you would catch on and not feel uncomfortable. You made it clear that you were enjoying yourself nevertheless. You wouldn’t be playing sugar packet Jenga with him otherwise (at least, that was what he assumed).

An hour or so later, he was walking you home again. Instead of you reaching up to kiss his cheek, he bent down to kiss your lips, and the world felt okay once again.

#5sos #5sos fanfiction #5sos imagines #5sos imagine #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer fanfiction #5 seconds of summer imagines #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer au #5sos au #ashton irwin #ashton imagine #ashton irwin imagine #ashton irwin fanfiction #ashton fanfiction #ashton 5sos #ashton writing #5sos writing #my writing #boston #au #imagine #swearing #fanfiction #ashton imagines #ashton irwin imagines #ashton irwin au #ashton au #alternate universe #luke hemmings

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Odds, but only if you vibe with the number

hell yeah Thanks

1) Mercury: What’s your full name?

middle names are always subject to revision but for now like, milo sky kilopascal burrows is the Full Story. it took forever to land on a ~last name~ b/c really i just was very Shrug about the matter. but it’s a fun niche lotr reference and it just also sounds right so. milo burrows is the more nailed down part here

3) Earth: Where’s your home?

well so far i’ve always lived in virginia, a wildly cursed place, but also there sure is a lot going on here. i don’t really feel that attached to anyplace, but i spent the first couple decades of life in a 40 mile radius of dc, as in washington dc, and visited the city often enough that i kind of feel some attachment to that, or like yknow That’s Where I’m From. but not really that much, b/c also i’m not actually from dc, just the dmv area / nova. also a wildly cursed place with a lot going on though

5) Jupiter: Do you have any siblings?

yeah im the middle sibling betwixt a slightly older sister and a slightly younger brother

7)Uranus: What’s your hobby?

i guess i draw often lol

9)Pluto: What time is it right now where you are?

as i type this it’s 11:44pm. eastern standard time club

11)Sun: Have you ever had alcohol?

yeah

13)Rigel: Have you ever gone on a rollercoaster?

yeah ive sampled many kinds....wooden.....indoor......ones with a loop de loop....ones with the uhh Hydraulic Launch.....ones that go backwards for a bit.....one with an 85 deg drop.....ones with the bar across the lap / seatbelt and ones with the vest thing that swings down....ones with the track above you....idk ive had a rollercoaster journey, i like them...

not rly vibing with 15 :///

17)Aldebaran: What’s something you care desperately about?

oh yeah i skipped this one. "desperately” is a big adverb and like, if i try to think outside the realm of Human Rights my dude, Antifascism, et al, like, what am i desperate about? anything? hard to say. other people like, who i know personally, and like, humanity and shit. and any cat i ever see. stem and humanities subjects are friends actually. i’m fond of the lhc. i like not being cold. when it comes to Interests it’s like, look, when one of your major Focuses is billions, it’s just like, welcome to hell.

19)Bellatrix: Have you ever been forced to lie/keep a secret?

uh no i’ve Chosen to tho lmao

21 does not pass the vibe check

23)Orion: Favourite month?

idk june is nice? i dont have a solid answer. sept / oct would be more fun if i wasn’t already dreading the onset of winter at that point. live in the moment i guess is the motto of fall

25)Delphinus: Favourite study?

never liked school. recess XD...in middle school during my last period i’d finish shit early and the teacher would be like “you can go hang out in the library if you want” and i was like, sick thanks

27)Gemini: Favourite song?

i don’t have one

29)Libra: Favourite colour?

i like that real saturated cerulean / curious blue type deal

31) Aries: Favourite movie?

i also don’t have one

33 idk not feeling it it’s a bit Much with the repeated digits

35) Andromeda: Do you consider yourself social?

yeah lol like......i don’t necessarily Vibe very well with people too easily, i’m Picky, and also people don’t vibe with me, so it all works out so that i don’t find ppl i’m mad comfortable interacting with that often / usually it takes time anyways cuz i’m not used to people wanting to talk to me haha.....but i also just like to Be Around people even if i’m not necessarily interacting with any and all of them and i like to casually talk and stuff and like, in college i’d go to the coffee shop mainly cuz it’s like. i want there to be People Around me rn.........and then as always cishet bros ruin things b/c they think if you talk with them for 15 sec / joke around, that’s Hitting It Off and Flirting or whatever. but they never count

37)Cartwheel Galaxy: When was your first kiss?

well in.......20...12???? i think?? someone kissed me but i wasn’t really vibing with that either so, speaking of Not Counting lol......not like i consider a ~first kiss~ to be anything that important to me so it doesn’t really matter either way but it’s like. i would prefer this not have happened regardless of Firsts or not

39) Comet Galaxy: Have you ever had to leave a relationship because someone changed too much?

haha i guess not

none of the 40-odds thrill me? do i not like 4?

51)Pulsar: What do you hope to do in the next 10 years?

i don’t really think with this Framework at this juncture lmao....i guess i never really have lol i’m not big on like. planning out things to a T anyways

53 Not for me....

55) Black Hole: What’s the last thing you want to see?

jesus christ idk. if i knew i was dying afterwards it’d be sort of difficult to appreciate it. i’ll see whatever i see and i just try to appreciate Nice Moments as they happen. like, a nice sunset where i don’t die afterwards is the same as a nice sunset which is the last i ever see ever, same with anything else. pretty skies Are nice always though. but like idk even as a hypothetical i don’t really want to formulate my ideal demise. or see much of a purpose in doing so except i guess as a like, “ooh if you were going to die tomorrow what would you do today” cuz it’s like goddamn idk? why ask? you’re not gonna Know, unless you are, in which case, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it or whatever. no wait scratch all that. looping kompenso clips until i die lmfao. really idk

#Anonymous

[rcsefleur-blog]

hi all !! this is an introduction to my freshest muse and newest baby yeo eunchan otherwise and more commonly known as ‘chan’, he’s a sweetheart but of course because its me and i can’t resist giving my muses slight torture, he’s a tormented sweetheart. if you look at his pinterest here you’ll get an idea of his style better since that’s pretty essential to him as a muse in this case hshd. below the cut you can find out a bit more about him and if you hit the like, i’ll be sure to throw him at you for plots !! lets get into it: 

BACKSTORY: 

chan’s childhood wasn’t particularly dark or strained. he is by far the least tragic out of all my muses. but for me, that’s still pretty tragic by mosts standards. growing up he always had a very supportive father in regard to his homosexuality and androgynous qualities. he grew up in a happy home and despite not being rich he was very fortunate to have rich opportunities come his way. to be fair he’s pretty easily pleased but most of his experiences thus far have been plentiful

perhaps that is why his luck has to run out somewhere down the line, in the worst way it possibly could. his mother passed when he was young due to cancer. it was a grave and difficult time for his father as well as the rest of the family. his father crumbled eventually, in the hospital with health issues now that are so severe he’s due to pass any day and is basically in a vegetative state already. chan was left to raise his five year old sister nari and take on the responsibility. 

for this reason, he could be considered a struggling single father as he’s pushing his own dreams and goals aside to accomodate for nari and make sure she has the best upbringing which is comfortable for her, where she can see chan as a father figure as well as an older brother now, who can be relied upon and responsible. balancing the line and the roles between brother and father isn’t always easy though when the lines are constantly blurred. he has sacrificed most of himself and his youth to keep nari happy and healthy and mostly untouched by the death of their parents. 

this hasn’t been easy though, it’s left chan isolated and with no one to speak to but the five year old girl a lot of his feelings get locked in a box and left unexplored, he cannot have a moment of hesitation or weakness because then that will affect nari. his mourning process and grieving has been put on a backline, and he only really allows himself to break down in quiet moments without nari. such as when walking through the forest to be with nature, visiting their graves or on the edge of his bed having a good cry when nari is fast asleep due to the feeling of living in the empty space where his parents used to fill it all up. 

PERSONALITY: 

chan is a makeup artist, he does it professionally for models and artists all throughout the industry but he also does it for fun, becoming pretty popular as a person who gives tutorials on youtube and instagram as an ‘influencer’ but he really hates that label and prefers to simply think of himself as an artist. he also does the bit of fashion blogging and photography on the side. 

he considers himself an adventurer and for that reason he also travels a lot, usually while he is there he’ll study as he does photography for a course as well as a part time student and his main interest is in ancient architecture and art. most of the time he’ll roadtrip in his styled up vintage pick up but occasionally its flights to more beachy area’s, his two favorite places are greece and italy and he spends most of his time in those places if he can.

chan has a very vintage sense of style and he enjoys doing most things the traditional and old school way. although he does add a modern mindset to a lot of it. aesthetically style wise envision chan as fingers full of plenty of rings, ankle bracelets and arm cuffs with loose puffy sleeved shirts and ripped up mom jeans or high waisted ones. he cycles mostly everywhere on his vintage style bike. 

very much a gentle soul, little bit of a nerd and activist in the sense he wants to save the earth. he can be really intense about learning about nature and how to preserve it. he has always felt the most in touch with the natural world compared to the hum and chaos of the modern world and city life. he’s no saint of course and he’s still a sucker for coffee but other than that he likes to think he does his best. 

paints and draws very amazingly likewise, he prefers to draw flowers and people the most but he’ll work with whatever he’s got on hand. usually you can only catch him whipping out a sketchbook if he’s feeling stressed or overwhelmed as a form of escapism and quiet time. 

he is a little bit of a quixotic type so sue him, like one of the ‘have you ever fallen in love’ 'five times a day’ types but it’s not obsessive, it’s more of an admiration he considers all people beautiful and worthy of love in their own way and would state most of them are art to him. you could be the worst person and he’d be all ’ you dont have all the facts’ 'which are?’ 'i love them’.

although he doesn’t identify as genderfluid, he has a very genderfluid and androgynous sense of fashion and often wears clothing and makeup typically labelled as being more feminine. he likes a soft and classy look that usually consists of a good lip tint or ultra glossy lip and a natural but glittery smokey eye look. think kinda like the instagram influencer ivanbaaaaah for reference. 

MISC: 

growing up chan struggled with religion a lot, he and his family are very religious but his sexuality caused some issues. his father had always been supportive but his mother was a different story, unfortunately his memories with her aren’t the fondest. though he has a very dark history with religion, he loves to be in churches that are empty or abandoned for moments of reflection. often he wonders if he doesn’t even have god as the one consistent and reliable thing in his life, then what the hell does he have. he feels even now sometimes that he’s letting god and his mother down for the way he is but there is less shame now than what he suffered when younger. 

everything in his life basically revolves around nari, she goes most places with him and any task he’ll find a way to make fun for her, he doesn’t spoil her but he also doesn’t ever leave her to go without even if that is at his expense to do so. they love to bake together and he does that pretty often. 

has a part time job as a barista on night shifts and also in a patisserie. he works from home on his influencer content again to accommodate for nari and he also takes his course in photography and media online to best suit nari so he doesn’t have to leave her with a babysitter too often as he believes that’s no childhood and him just being lazy in his duty towards her as her parental figure at this pivotal time in her life. 

he’s putting off most of his dreams and aspirations right now for until nari is older, he could’ve been much more famous as an influencer but he chose not to be and put those opportunities to broaden his career on hold for a while because having a famous sibling in her life wasn’t the kind of overwhelming attention and pressure nari needed to be surrounded with right now. 

he honestly just wants to make sure nari grows up feeling safe, comfortable and happy as well as confident in herself and chan. she’s his primary responsibility and he considers himself her closest bet to a father now so he wants her to feel she has that bond with him as well as the bond of him being her brother. 

PLOT BUNNIES: 

a babysitter plot would be great, someone who he can rely on and uses often to leave nari with when he has no other choice and particularly on nights when he has to work. ideally it would be someone nari felt very close to and idolized so he knew they had an amazing relationship and she’d be happy and relaxed when he was gone. he’s very over protective of her so he’d also have to feel pretty close to the person. it could go any way really, it could be a pining thing, a best friend thing, whatever honestly. 

this boy definitely needs a confidant so throw that at me any day. 

friends who can help him reconnect with religion and spirituality in different ways so he knows there’s always a way for him to feel tied to god somehow and a god who loves him and best suits his needs somewhere even if it isn’t necessarily in the religion he grew up with. 

work buddies at the cafe he works in or patisserie would be amazing too. 

maybe a tutor/study buddy kinda person he met online through doing his course of media and photography to make sure he was making up for the classes he was missing out on by not being able to attend day lectures in college. 

just people with the similar hobby of photography would also be awesome or models even that he can do a couple of freelance jobs for on the side when they need him. 

muses for him to draw they’d be very special people indeed bc chan will rarely whip his sketchbook out in front of anyone let alone ask to draw them. 

more single parent muses would also be awesome eventually or older siblings who kind of take on that role half the time so have some idea of what its like who he could meet through taking nari to things like nursery, etc. 

neighbor bc who doesn’t love a good single dad and his neighbor plot  who’s all like woah that guy is super young and he has a kid but im also sure there’s no woman on the scene and wow they’re noisy and its kinda infuriating but its also cute as hell cause he’s a hella good dad and in the mornings i can hear them baking and doing food fights or playing together and i often see them messing about coming back from grocery shopping etc and actually its kinda touching?? 

gay pals cause we love gay pals as well as ur everyday pals we love a platonic bond between fellow gays. 

love interests of any kind rlly, pining situations, crushing, flings, ex’s ( they’d have had to have ended on good terms tho bc chan just can’t hate anyone ), first times e.g. sexually, boyfriend, kiss u get the idea 

#daegu:intro #daeguintro

[gg-astrology]

Helloooo :) I don't know if it is too late but, what do you think of cap sun taurus moon? :o

HAH WE HAVE THE SAME PLACEMENTS!!!! 💕 ITS CALL OUT TIME!! 💕💕

(and no ure not too late don’t worry 💕 thank u for dropping by anyways!!)

[Below Cut: Capricorn Sun - Taurus Moon 🍃]

We’re a lot more earthier than our usual earthy counterparts, like if anything if we’re not surrounded by atleast 5 trees we Will Die

It gets especially hard living in an urban city because….we might not be accessible to parks all the time.

Although we might like leafy greens and fauna, some of us may have a hard time motivating ourselves to keeping them alive/grow our own garden even when we like the ~aesthetic~

Second most self-praise thing is our voice. With the combination of Capricorn/Taurus you might realize that we tend to have influential voices when speaking to others (others see reasons/listens to us– can be kind of like the ‘therapist’ in groups of friends because they tend to give solid advice and tries to make it practical for others)

It’s a persuasive ability, where we give other people nudges towards the right direction usually through a socratic dialogue (like asking them questions and letting them find the answer themselves)

Because Taurus is ruled by Venus, we appeal to the emphathy/putting ourselves in other people’s shoes (social relationships) to show others how to view things differently

There’a terrible stubborn streak amongst us, where we feel like we constantly need time to ‘digest’ experiences in order to utilize them fully.

Our time works differently than others, 2 days weekend isn’t enough to do that. And once things start picking up we switch gears from ‘oh no I don’t have time to absorb’ into ‘fuck I gotta find my pattern’ in order to survive

Always in survival mode, the bare minimum. Keep a straight-focused outlook on things so we could concentrate on it instead (while in the moment)

Switches between moments of independency (and cherishing it) and wanting support/to be surrounded by others and help them (in the domestic life/sphere).

If your bed and your room is your friend. This is your ‘safe space’ and you can never work here. You’ll have delegated ‘spaces’ for working/productivity. Thus it becomes a conditioned ‘motive/pattern’ you set for yourself.

You can try to be soft an gentle, but you will Realize that you are a very straight-forward and blunt person. We all look constipated when we try to phrase something in a different way, often we don’t come up with a gentler phrase so we just– drag it out, cautiously to see if the other person is receptive to it or not.

Surprisingly we say ‘sorry’ quite often bc we Know other people might put it gentler than us but we don’t know how to Do It

AH most important thing— quiet doesn’t mean shy. Although we can tend to be shy early on in our childhood (*if it comes to that). Quiet is just comfortable, like ‘I don’t have to say stuff if I don’t have anything to say’ when you’re comfortable with urself/ur company y know

Most people might think we’re being ‘unnaturally quiet’ if you have an active Mercury/Venus that says otherwise— but there are moments where you’re just— chilling, and people are concerned even when you’re just ‘absorbing’ the view

When you’re stress, it shows. When you’re really anxiety ridden and nervous, others can tell it in your oppressive silence. Your face blanks out, and that normally doesn’t happen. Your eyes vacant, and your close friend can pick that up pretty quickly.

Although you like to touch and be touched, you can also be demanding about it. Like ‘pet my hair’ ‘squeeze me tight’ or something specific like ‘hold onto my rib-cage/sides’ — it’s weird I know. But it’s like, if you want something you ask for it or you go get it. 

Emotions are— hard. Because you tend to hide your own pains/bury them a lot. You’re not even aware that you feel more than what you feel in the moment. Capricorn suppresses and Taurus redirects. So you’re not even sure where your emotions go when in hiding.

Sometimes you can be in the shower and think ‘have i ever felt jealous?? envious of people???’ and it takes a little more time and retrospection to get familiar with emotions

Accepting ‘negative’ emotions and ‘ugly’ behaviors in yourself is extremely hard to do. This is because you pride yourself in being ‘kind’ to others. Thus you may be much stricter on yourself than you are with anyone else.

Doesn’t mean you don’t get strict with the people around you, you do. Especially when they’re doing detrimental things to themselves. You’re much better at dealing with them than your own problems though.

Sometimes your retrospection eats away at your thoughts at night, things to do, functions to execute, where are you now? What have you done? Are you going to be happy in say 5 years? What do you have for your ambitions?

You can be protective of people around you, especially after you see them cry or in pain. Your protective instinct kicks in really strongly, and you may have trouble letting them have autonomy without atleast giving them a hard look and saying shit like ‘ok, if that’s what you think/makes you happy’. 

With your best friends, you may used to have the idea that they’re yours. 

Your best friends. Your people. Especially in early childhood, having to ‘open yourself up’ and your friendship up to accepting new people throws you into an internal tantrum.

Still now, you might find that you better with one-on-one approaches to ‘getting close/to know people’ than large group settings. If you’re truly going to have a personal opinion on someone, you have to see them outside the context of a barrier– your mutual friends.

Your own chemistry with other people (one-on-one) matters a lot, because it lets you know how you’re doing. Who you are, what your flaws are and whether you have a different ‘side’ to you that comes out when you’re with them as well.

The thing about you is– you’re inherently honest. To the point where you can’t hide it or stifle it, even if you try your body/mind will scream at you for even attempting to do so. You’re a slave to your own honesty, but it’s also your advantage and your disadvantage.

You have immense capabilities to be understanding to others, and to help others who trust you because of this honesty. 

And because you hold yourself valuable for your integrity to people (heart-to-heart, one-on-one) you don’t ever let yourself consciously try to bring them down or let them have a reason to doubt you otherwise.

Even thinking about how people could misinterpret your actions as something with ulterior motive (threaten to discredit your integrity) you take pre-cautions to make sure everyone is on the same page, everyone understands where it’s coming from.

You don’t leave a stone unturned when you do something, you want to do your best but that also requires preparation works. Ground works, for you to focus on just diving into it later. You don’t deter from it at all, and meticulously prepare the ‘grounds’ for yourself every time.

Your humbleness comes from your core. But since you’re so focused on working/preparing and your side of the story all the time. You have a harder time ‘switching’ gears to being on the receiving end of things.

You’d have learnt earlier on in your life that you can usually have an ‘automated’ response to things/circumstances that requires responses. But you don’t ever want to appear insincere or disingenuine so you try your best to put yourself 100% in giving people sincerity at all times.

You’ll learn– that this tends to wear you out. And you require time away from people in your own space. You might like to bury yourself under 10 blankets, give yourself a good scrub in the bathroom or get tucked away in a corner doing your own thing. Personal comfort is rejuvenating to you, but you can let it get too far and make a bad habit of not going out because of it too.

You’re a homebody but you may pride yourself in the opposite. You bring attention and light to when you go out, what you did with people, what you saw today. Watch that you aren’t doing this to subconsciously ‘persuade’ yourself that you deserve to relax at home because you’ve ‘earned it’ (going out becomes an ‘achievement’, which in itself isn’t terrible but you tend to let yourself get comfortable/have a pattern that may be harder to break out of– and that generally leads to a sense of dread for you later on when you want to ‘switch gears’ to something else)

You’re a creature of habit, so try to make a journal or ‘check list’ for things whenever it appears (like ‘you have a meeting at 3pm, this has to get done by thursday, do groceries on this specific day because otherwise you won’t have time – use it like you have a secretary). 

Whenever you need to check, you have the journal to remind you of ‘obligations’ you have to work through.

If you don’t, you can let your days get past you or forget about things you have to do.   

Grocery shopping, especially when you have time to journey alone (and not talk to anyone)– is less of a chore and more like a place where you can enjoy self-care without feeling unproductive about yourself.

If you ever feel like you’re having a bad day, go grocery shopping. Splurge on some meats and make yourself a steak. If you’re a vegetarian, try looking for new things to try in these moment of vulnerabilities.

Also, don’t be afraid to buy dolls. Especially the big ones that are like 9′ tall and towers over you. You’re going to enjoy having a new seating space for yourself. Lie on it’s stomach, play on your laptop. 

You’ll do better with a cuddle buddy who doesn’t have their own needs (inanimate) when your partner/friends are less free to spend time with you. 

Don’t be afraid to initiate physical contact, if you want someone to kiss your checks. Ask to kiss theirs. Show them– through demonstration and response – how to physically care for you the way you might want/need it to.

You can be disgustingly cute with people even when you’re not in a romantic relationship with them, mostly because you think everyone deserves to feel loved even without it being romantic. Everyone deserves to feel cared for, adored and not less than a romantic partner.

There’s no shame in craving intimacy, from friends or from lovers. You know it’s different because your ‘shades’ with romantic partners are a lot more intense/directed. But that doesn’t mean you put your love for your friends second to your lovers.

Let yourself get giggly and bubbly, feel loved and adored. Let yourself open up about past experiences, situations you need help with. Let yourself admit to your friends/people around you how you feel, so that they can support you when you can’t support yourself.

That’s all I have for now 💕 This one is quite long mostly because I was thinking about it too much 💕 I hope it’s applicable to you ;; 💕💕    

#capricorn sun #taurus moon #capricorn-taurus #anon #asks

[askthiscpblog]

oh now that im reminded of Imani, can her and Puppeteer meet again?? I dont ship her and Toby I kinda ship her and Puppet platonically and maybe later on romantically. of course if you don't want to or don't have the time you dont have to. Thanks!!

Puppet has had a long last few weeks. With the whole mansion being on edge and everything, most people were way too touchy for his liking. He still had plenty of energy from his last kill, but he decided to head out hunting anyways. Or at least trying to find a new target to leech onto for a few weeks. Even investigate this other gang that was popping up. Or something like that. Whatever he would do his job and have fun with it one way or another. 

The ghost made his way into a city, floating though buildings until he came upon a weird shop. It was the middle of the night, yet the lights were on bright allowing him to see inside. Inside he could see two girls chatting away without a care in the world. Both had a beer in their hands, talking about God only knows what. He looked closer, trying to make out details of the inside. Puppet then tried to drift inside but hit a wall instead. Weird, he tries again. And once again he is met with a wall, unable to get inside this little shop. What the ever-loving fun was this? 

Now Puppet was curious. Putting his head against the wall, he looked inside. He saw two dark-skinned women in there, one African and the other looked to be of some mixed heritage. Native American, from what it seems like. The rest of the details were too fuzzy for him to be able to tell, and he couldn’t hear a damn thing they were saying.

“Then I jumped in an empty trashcan and my friend rolled me down the street until we ran into a fucking tree! It was ridiculous!” Imani let out a loud laugh before taking a drink of her beer. She usually didn’t tell people about her private life outside of her work, but Lulu was one of her good friends, so she didn’t mind. Plus… It was Lulu. She was a saint in the killer’s mind. A wild, witchy, saint with sometimes questionable sanity.

“But other than getting high enough to jump into a trashcan naked, everything has been pretty normal.” Imani snorted again, her eye drifting from Lulu’s face as she recalled the event and she shook her head.

“What’s been up with you, hmm?” she continued.

“Oh, nothing much beyond the usual things. People in the front of the store, boring and normal as always. Those who come in the back, yet, got interesting. Had this one motherfucker who was so tweaked out on acid I threw my voice to sound like a meowing cat. Shit went wild searching for it. Along with…” Lulu continued wide-smiled finishing off her own beer. She looked disappointed in that fact, but a grin came to her face afterward.

“So, if you don’t mind running to grab a few grams, I will cook it up into something special. And you know my special treats are legendary.” Lulu then reached into her purse on the counter and pulled out a $100.

“You know where to find the best stuff for the best buck anyways. I was gonna mix it with what I’m growing. A little flair never hurt.” 

Puppet continued to watch outside the shop, trying to read their lips the best he could. He circled around the building, trying to find a way in. He could get in everywhere but a single apartment that was above this store. This woman, either of them, knew a thing or two about ghosts and warding that much is for sure. But how much, Puppet was going to see if he could find out. He knew he would have to tell Slender about this. If he couldn’t get in, then a few other supernatural beings couldn’t. Whoever ran this store might know a thing or two on how to fight demons too. Perfect.

Imani grinned wide, nodding in response with, “I can definitely do that.” She quickly finished off her beer before picking her mask up from the counter.

“Keep your money, I got a guy who owes me. Dumb fuck got himself on my hit list, I only let him live because dude has the best weed and dick I’ve ever had.” She walked towards the door, her steps rhythmic as she did so. One, two, three, repeat. She opened the door, looking back at Lulu and smiling again.

“I’ll be back with the goods!” She walked out of the comforting store, breathing in the air. She fixed her mask onto her face, turning left to go down the street.

“Have fun now. You know how to get in, even if it’s locked.” Lulu told to her, locking the door after she left wrapping up her shop.

“OH, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!” Puppet yelled, but there was no sound. Only to his ears. It wasn’t out of annoyance, but rather shocked that it was the same woman who almost didn’t allow him to feed on the bridge. This night got more interesting for her and him. Puppet followed in ghost form for a block or two until they were well enough away from the shop to try and make a move. He couldn’t become physical here with ease like last time, it’s been a little since he last ate. But he could at least manifest some fragments to communicate.

‘Hey, girly. Remember me?’ Long time, no see.’ he says in her head. Out on the edge of her eye, his figure solidifying before it vanishes if she goes to look at it.

Imani stopped, mid-step. She looked around her, checking the area with a passing glance, raising an eyebrow.

“…Who’s there?” She couldn’t see anyone around and shrug. Either she was paranoid, or she was developing late-onset schizophrenia. She continued walking, picking up her pace. She was near her destination anyway. All she needed to do was avoid whatever odd voice was speaking in her head and get on her merry way and get back to Lulu.

‘Aww, you don’t remember me? How sad.’ He says in her head again. He continued to float around her, keeping his distance but studying her. Puppet could make himself physical for a little bit, but not for a long extended period of time like last time he met her. So, he decided to do it. He materialized behind her and dropped to the ground walking.

“Maybe if you see me now, you’ll remember better.” The woman turned around, left eyebrow raised. Her eye widened when she saw the man in front of her.

“Aaah, the Puppeteer. To what do I owe the pleasure?” She crossed her arms over her chest, smiling underneath her mask. From what she remembered, she had found his presence at least tolerable, so she didn’t feel a need to scare him off.

“I hope that you weren’t following me. Because that would be creepy.”

“Oh no, my sweet. I follow no one unless they are my next victim. You, however, are not. A friendly surprise is all.” He responds, holding his hand out to give a courteous bow. Over the top, this one is. Makes sense though…somewhat.

“No. I am out searching for a friend. He was taken a few nights ago. Well in fact, when we met and parted. That night. A raid happened on my home.

”She did a small mock curtsy in return, the small smile under her mask growing a tad bit. He seemed fun. Her smile dropped when it registered in her head that his friend had been kidnapped and she dipped her head.

“I’m sorry about your friend.” She turned around, staring at the sidewalk for a second, looking at the cracks in the cement. Thinking One, two, three, four, five, six. Good, in groups of threes. There was a small dandelion growing out of one of them. She didn’t want to get involved in other people’s business, and not with talks of raids. But he was fun. And she had a bit of empathy left in her for fun people.

“Is there anything that I can do? Get the word out? I’ve got a lotta people in a lotta places.” Imani offered, somewhat genuine knowing the feeling of being jumped without warning. It fucking sucks, and it is hard to recover from.

“That would be appreciated actually! Though he isn’t exactly above the radar and is a very aggressive individual. Dumb as a brick, but smart when it comes to fighting and surviving.” he explained, rolling his eyes at the whole thought of getting him back. No one liked him, but he was a good brute to have around and the easiest to make fun of out of everyone. Puppet makes a string out of his own energy, not threatening her but twirling it around. Maybe it would be best to start asking about the girl in that room with her?

“So that girl you were with? I couldn’t even get into her place she had it so locked up. Who is she?”Imani’s eye narrowed, turning back to face him. She didn’t trust him, and especially not with information about someone close to her. The energy he was twirling about didn’t do him any favors. Her accent faded, and her voice turned cold and frigid.

“A friend of mine. She’s one of the very few people I trust. Walk with me.” She turned in one swift movement and began walking. One step, two steps, three steps. Pause. Don’t step on the cracks.

“My friend values her privacy. And I value loyalty above all else. You’ll have to snoop for yourself.” She let out a snort, becoming less on edge.

“I have a feeling that you have no problem with that.”

He looked at her and vanished his tread, it dissipates into nothing as she began to walk away from him. Rather than wal,k he floated next to her, on the other side so no one else could see him. Wasn’t far, an inch or so off the ground at the most.

“Fair enough, we have similar values where I come from. Or who I work for. Which by the way, have you considered my offer of maybe working for us every so often?” Puppet inquired, curious to her answer. Despite this, his mind kept drifting to how that entire place was locked up, even against ghosts. Might need someone real to get in there and figure out who she is. Best person for the job might be Jane, or maybe they could hire someone outside of it. If this woman, Imani, wouldn’t give any info about her to him, Slender might have to take it for himself.

“I have. But I’m not exactly a team player. I like to work by myself, for myself. It tends to be better that way.” She made a sharp turn left, hopping over a large crack. That shit was annoying.

“I’m also pretty awkward with new people.” She eyed the floating man at her side, turning her head to look at him better. He clearly wasn’t human, that much she knew. You can’t be close friends with Lulu and the people that she knew without learning what was human and what wasn’t. That and he fucking floated.

“What are you, if you don’t mind my asking? Are you a genie or something?” Puppet kept following, even with the sharp turn he kept up with her. When she asked if he was a genie, he couldn’t help but to burst out laughing. Not meaning to insult her, but that was the funniest thing he heard anyone guess what he was.

“No…no,” he responded between his ‘breaths’, “I am no genie. Easiest thing to say is I am dead, and an angel of death. And not coming back to life anytime soon either.

”She let out a laugh, “Well you give off genie vibes! If you get bored of being an angel of death or whatever you could probably run a genie scam.” She stopped in front of a small house, rather run down-looking. It almost looked abandoned if it wasn’t for the lights shining from inside it. The inside was much nicer than the outside, much more comforting and less crack-housey.

“This is my stop. I’ll get the word out about your friend.” She reached up, unclipping her mask and taking it off, shaking her curls out to make sure they weren’t pressed down from the straps. She turned her head to get a better look at him, the corners of her mouth turning up into a smile.

“And I suggest you leave my friend alone. She ain’t someone you wanna fuck with. She can fight dirty as hell, and if you piss her off, I’ll be morally obliged to help her blast you into oblivion.” Puppet held up his hand in defense, landing on the ground outside of the house. That cocky smile never left his cheeks, if only because he knew what could happen and headed her warnings.

“Hey, I won’t go after her. I can’t even get into the damned place, much less fight a girl who probably could blow my ghosty butt to bits. Though the genie scam sounds like a good idea, might try that one day.” With that, he gives her the over dramatic bow that he gave her last time upon their departure. It was his signature of sorts, or at least he thought.

“I may see you again, sooner or later. Enjoy your night.” With that he vanished from her eyes, invisible as he flew away in search of his next meal.

#mod.a #tw drug mention #tw alcohol #creepy pasta #creepypasta #ask creepypasta #creepypasta fanfic #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta fanfiction #The Puppeteer #Imani #fanfiction #fanfic #creepypasta original character

[shibyn]

and the wind sounds like the world’s sigh

persona 4 & 5 | shiho-centric, investigation team Near the end of May, Shiho transfers to a sleepy town called Inaba for a fresh start. However, Inaba isn’t the sleepy town her parents thought would be best for her— its on edge with unsolved mysteries, and Shiho finds that there’s a bit more behind what meets the eye regarding some of her classmates and a TV screen.

chapter 3 | 5.7k | ao3

She doesn't know if she's envious or glad for them.

Maybe she's envious because her teammates weren't given the same slack. Not in the slightest. She wonders if Yui's arm was set properly, or if Inuoka's shoulder healed fully. She wonders if any of them can be in the gymnasium without feeling a phantom ache in their joints. Wonders if any of them are better now that he's been shipped off to jail. Wonders if they can still play volleyball and still be able to breathe.

She realizes very quickly there is very little to do in Inaba. Not for the first time and certainly not the last, Shiho longs for Tokyo. She doesn't think a lifetime spent in Tokyo would be enough time to do everything there. The city's always bustling, always changing, always growing-- there's always something new, something to try. Ann was there, too, always bounding by her side, leading her to a new place to go to. Inaba has a river, a shrine, an inn, and a market. There are plenty of mom-and-pop stores, plenty of tiny businesses that take up a sixteenth of a street block. In a week, Shiho has already scoured through nearly all of them. It's probably something her parents overlooked, too. They're restless, itching for more motion and more activity and just more than what this tiny place offers. They're no different from her-- they lived in Tokyo longer than she's been alive, and they've been through the growth of Tokyo. There's no way they don't long for the gray and musty streets over the clear and small roads here at least every now and then. They're making friends with the locals, because that's all there really is to do. They get jobs, her mom at an antique shop, her dad a carpenter. Maybe they're getting used to the rural air, maybe not-- she wonders if they've considered moving back to Tokyo once she's graduated and shipped off to a college, or if they'll come to like this place and live here from now on. They find their own ways to burn the day away. It unluckily lines up with the time Shiho has school, and they're home whenever she gets to the house. In the late afternoon, their house is quiet even though there are people in it. She wonders what her parents think when she gets home later and later, purposely avoiding being in a house where guilty gazes weigh down on her shoulders, the tension in the air that makes her suffocate. With little to do in Inaba, she very quickly runs out of things to keep her occupied while she prolongs the time she gets home. There's only so much a friendless, penniless teenager could do. Maybe she could get a job to get money and to take up time, or maybe even join a club at school, but then it'll tie her down to this place. Frequently, she wishes Ann was here. She'd be able to make the best of this place. Even with the cheerful chatter and encouraging words from the near-constant buzzing of her phone, it will never match up to being actually with her. She's a little envious of Ryuji and Akira, who get to see her daily. She's glad they're friends. More often than not, she ends up hanging around the school grounds. She's already gone through the town, but she doesn't have money of her own, and she doesn't want to deal with the off-chance she'll come across her parents in public. It's past the end of the day, and the other students head off to club activities or to head home. Usually she's left in peace. She finds some place to burn time in-- usually its the library (she finally found it-- it was on the second floor this whole time, she just passed it by mistake), where few students linger in after hours and even fewer try to speak to her. Other students still keep trying to talk to her, and she knows she should try to act like a normal person and respond properly, but her tongue feels like gauze when she opens it and her stomach sinks because she can't even act like she wants to be here. The library gives her the solitude she needs from the other students, but it's also too quiet, too soundless, too similar to the home she's avoiding, and it closes a couple hours earlier than the school does. So then she wanders around until she knows its safe to enter town without seeing her parents, or until school closes. Around this time, very little students are around, the only ones being in clubs or practice for sports. She can wander without interruption until her legs begin to ache, the pain beneath her kneecaps too strong, and usually ends up sitting on a bench until they decide to work like how she wants them to. She wears the knee brace. It makes no damn difference whether or not she wears it-- the weather and the hills are a killer combo. She only wears it because her parent asked it of her. She'd rather go without it, even though she knows she wouldn't be able to move as much as she is, because her classmates will peer at it and she can see the questions on the tips of their tongues. She rubs her knee absently. The sky's clear for the most part, spotted with occasional clouds. The bench she ended up on has a clear view of the practice building and the lot in front of it, one that the Soccer team is using for a practice game. Some seem dearly invested in their little game, some don't. Something settles heavy in her gut. It's something like dread, an itch-- it's not a good feeling, and she shifts restlessly to quell it. They're... They're not trying. Won't their coach be angry that they're not trying--? She looks around, but there's no coach scrutinizing the players. No coach barking out orders that are do or die. They're allowed to slack. A breath leaves her in a rush, one she didn't realize she was holding. She doesn't know if she's envious or glad for them. Maybe she's envious because her teammates weren't given the same slack. Not in the slightest. She wonders if Yui's arm was set properly, or if Inuoka's shoulder healed fully. She wonders if any of them can be in the gymnasium without feeling a phantom ache in their joints. Wonders if any of them are better now that he's been shipped off to jail. Wonders if they can still play volleyball and still be able to breathe. But maybe she's glad-- they don't have to experience what Shujin volleyball players went through. She's glad some of them look like they're enjoying what they're doing. There's claps on the backs, encouraging shouts, beaming grins. She wishes those were a part of the volleyball practices she was in, but finds that she's glad someone else can enjoy themselves. — Ann [7:43 P.M.] u remember that time u said my art was shit Shiho [7:43 P.M.] you never let me forget Ann [7:43 P.M.] :/ ANYWAYS i think ive gotten better being around yusuke has like,, helped me realize im better than u say Shiho [7:44 P.M.] we were seven of course you were awful Ann [7:44 P.M.] STILL!! Shiho finds herself rolling her eyes. Yusuke was a recent addition to Ann's mismatched group of friends-- an eccentric artist who goes to Kousei rather than Shujin. It's a wonder how they met, more-less even meet up outside of school. She's glad there's another to the list of Ann's friends-- even if it was a bit rocky in the start, if what Ann's told her is true. The neighborhood is quiet for the most part. Well. It's always quiet, really. But it's particularly silent today-- absently, she realizes that she's coming home later than she usually would. The daylight's already waning, and people have already retreated home for dinner. She wonders if she's missed dinner herself. Her parents haven't said much about how late she's been getting home. She doesn't know if they think she's in a club or something, or if they know she's just loitering instead of coming home. They don't say much to her these days. She's not sure if they've finally gave up on idle awkward conversations or not. Shiho [7:44 P.M.] is his overflowing creativity influencing you?? Ann [7:44 P.M.] hopefully maybe ill send u a nice ole portrait, yeah? Shiho [7:45 P.M.] it better be done in glitter pens or I dont want it!! The house isn't quiet when she steps in. The TV is on for once, after a week of frustrating difficulty with hooking it up properly. There's the sound of dishes moving in the kitchen, clinking of porcelain on the counters, and ah. She hasn't missed dinner. "Is that you, Shiho?" her mom calls out. She peering down the hall and directly spots her, standing in the foyer uncertainly. "Welcome back. We're having japchae." "Ah. Alright," Shiho says absently. Japchae's a sit down meal in this household. She can't escape to her room with a bowl of it-- she'll be stuck at the table. She feels guilty with the way her shoulders tense and her legs don't move, because family dinner shouldn't stress her out this much. You're worrying over nothing, she thinks forcefully, and quietly takes off her shoes and sets down her bag. Both of her parents are in the kitchen, her dad working on the setting the table, her mom with the japchae. They're seemingly content, weaving around each other and keeping pace in a conversation. They like this kitchen much more than their old one-- much more space, apparently, and the countertops are a lot prettier than the dull tan of the old apartment. She feels out of place, standing there, so she takes a seat even though she's antsy. In no time, everything is set out on the table. Her parents sit across from each other, and she's stuck in the middle of them. The TV's volume has been lowered at some point, to a level that it's just a background noise that keeps the house from being overwhelmed by silence. It's quiet at the table, though the dishes move and clink, and brief words of 'can you pass me the plate' and 'do you want seconds,' its quiet. There's no continuation of the conversation they were having in the kitchen earlier, even though it seemed like it could span on longer from what she could hear of it. Shiho's skin prickles at the silence, cause it's not exactly tense-- it's more calculating, more waiting for the proper time to speak and not seem off about it. She wishes that eating her food quick wouldn't be seen as rude, or as a way to escape. "So, how's school been, kiddo?" Her dad starts, breaking the ice. He actually makes eye contact with her. He doesn't glance away, avert his eyes-- it throws her off. There's very little guilt in his eyes, the kind that she's seen so much of in the past month. She can't tell if this conversation is genuine, or if he feels bad for not talking to her as much as a parent should. Shiho feels her phone buzz in her pocket. It's probably Ann. She breathes in. "Like... Like how school normally is, I guess. Not interesting?" Her mom blinks at her. "So you haven't had any problems catching up?" Two months. She missed two months of school. (Her life, too). It's two months of stuff for all of her classes-- and the curriculum is different here. It would be basically starting from scratch. She struggled, and is still struggling-- it takes a lot to cram so much stuff missed into the time she has, and on top of that, learn what's being taught at the moment. She hasn't told them she's basically given up on catching up. "Not really," she smiles something sheepish, something not really a smile. It'll work out most likely. She'll just have to cram more for the exams. "Just a little splotchy, I guess. There's a few things here that they learned that they didn't teach at Shujin." "Ah. Have you asked for help from classmates or teachers?" Her mom questions. She's paused from eating. Not a good sign. She wants to have a conversation, now that she's got Shiho trapped under obligation for family dinners. She debates lying. She's kept away from talking with anyone at school. It doesn't feel right to-- she doesn't exactly want to see their faces shift ever so slightly when she asks, coming something closer to pity towards her. She doesn't want to start, because then they'll come across the face that she doesn't know all that much anymore, and they'll ask why, and she cannot. Cannot. Let any of these students know of why she left Shujin. But her parents know she's been getting back late. They might want her to come home earlier to study more if she says she's avoided getting help. "Sometimes," she settles with. It's an answer that'll keep them from pushing. The atmosphere shifts. She doesn't know if its for better or for worse, or if her parents are coming onto something. The dining table feels more like an interrogation table, and she just wishes that it wasn't rude to get up, clean her dishes, and flee. "Have you joined any clubs, yet? Maybe considered any?" her dad prompts, because her mom is gnashing her teeth quietly, maybe trying to see if there was any underlying context or hints in her single word response. They know she can't play sports anymore. They know. It's a blaring reminder on the forefront of their mind, every breathing second they look at her, because they see the old bruises and bandages and the leg brace when they didn't see before. They also know she can't paint, she can't sing, she can't act, she can't play an instrument, she can't do much of anything except volleyball and that had been torn from her hands. "Um, no, not... not really," Shiho trails. She sees the question between the lines in bold text. Why are you coming home so late. They know she doesn't have anything to do. She doesn't have Ann here. There's nothing in town to do. She's not in a club, she doesn't have a job. They probably have the sneaking suspicion she doesn't have friends, either. She doesn't know if they're blaming themselves for that. Her phone buzzes again, quietly, like a reassurance. She tries to harbor the confidence Ann has for her. "I've. I've been helping around the school n stuff." Her mouth tastes like ash. She hasn't. She hasn't given Yasogami more thought that it deserves. "Kinda... y'know, helping organize the library." If you stretch it till its paper thin, you could possibly call it a truth. Occasionally she'll pick up an left behind book and put it back where it belongs. She really only sits and burns time in the library rather than voluntarily go out and help around. But its so far from what she's saying, and her knuckles creak on the edge of her seat. "Ah, so a library helper!" Her mom latches onto this, eyes twinkling. Shiho smiles sheepishly. "Sure. Yeah. Somewhat." All she can taste is ash, and she tries to eat some more, but it tastes like nothing. It's good to lie sometimes, right? Some lies are good. White lies. Her parents have been so cautious around her-- she doesn't think she can handle them if she was truthful. She doesn't think she can handle their gentle words, their encouragements, their earnest pleas of please try because she can't help simmering on the idea that they're only trying so hard to make up for when they overlooked bruises that couldn't have come from just volleyball practice. To make up for not realizing that one morning she planned on not returning home that day. The rest of dinner fades into the back of her mind. Her dad starts talking about his old job as a librarian years ago, and her mom bounces back with stories of her own. She eats absently, her arms and legs and body so heavy with the brush of guilt. After washing the dishes, she leaves politely, having dipped out of the conversation a while ago. Her legs ache when she goes to her room and flops onto her bed. For a moment, she just lies there, letting her nerves settle into something manageable. She mourns for the time she could eat peacefully with her parents. She pulls her phone out absently. The case is peeling. She might need a new one soon. Ann [7:45 P.M.] as if i would draw with anything else that's not glitter u insult me jfjlsdfj just got takoyaki its crazy good ill drag u here to get some its?? not greasy enough to kill my appetite for once !! Shiho [8:01 P.M.] sorry had to eat damn who convinced you to eat takoyaki usually you'd look at me like i was asking ya to die if i suggested it :// Ann [8:01 P.M.] yusuke wanted to try some dude only eats cup noodles, can u believe it!! i feel like... completely obligated to expand his horizons Shiho [8:02 P.M.] holy shit only cup noodles? how has he not died of sodium?? Ann [8:02 A.M.] art jesus might be lookin down on him well maybe not he aint doing a good job keeping yusuke from spending all his goddam money on art. supplies thats the only reason he really eats cup noodles he broke i might have to teach him the ways of budgeting Shiho [8:02 P.M.] ah yes you takamaki ann the one who most definitely does not spend all of her allowance on clothes the day she gets it Ann [8:02 P.M.] why cant u let me dream — Maybe the best part about being quiet and fading into the background is that she learns a lot about the people around her. She knows her seat mate plays clarinet and really sucks at science, the boy in the front row two from the window works with his parents at an old liquor store and may or may not have brought some to school, the buzzcut boy who comes in during lunch to eat with the boy directly in front of her is crushing hard on a third year and plans on asking her out, and the girl with the red cardigan in the middle row is the daughter of Amagi Inn and was missing for a week just last month. She seems fine and dandy for having been missing. Shiho doesn't know if she can take it as a sign that Tatsumi Kanji will be found and be okay-- if she's fine, he might be too, right? It doesn't help that in the same line of conversation she's listening in on she learns of two recent murders of a news reporter and a student at Yasogami. With the way people of Inaba are so gossip-y, she's kinda surprised and alarmed she didn't hear about this from day one. She only learned of Tatsumi from a policeman-- would she have never heard of him if it weren't for that encounter? And-- the policeman didn't say anything about the murders. She personally thinks that would be the number one thing to tell people, especially those who just moved there, that yes, there was most definitely someone going around Inaba killing and kidnapping people. Two murders and two missing cases. Nothing happens here-- shouldn't that be the talk of the town or something? Maybe everyone was so used to each other that they just couldn't believe that someone decided to turn a new leaf and go nuts, or they're all just very good at acting like there was nothing disrupting their quiet routine of the countryside. Shiho wonders if her parents are even vaguely aware of this. They-- they have to be, right? They talk with the townsfolk much more than she does. It could be that the reason Shiho didn't know was because she just doesn't talk to people. But-- they still let her roam free after school (though she isn't doing what they think she's doing). Her dad had been so tense after the encounter with the police officer, too-- the prospect of kidnapping and missing high school kids is one hell of a detour from the fresh new start they thought Inaba could provide. Surely that would have made them more worried--? And, now that she thinks of it; she doesn't know how much it affects Inaba overall. She doesn't know how many students go straight home after school, or how many families are on edge. She doesn't know if relationships are more tense, because the killer and kidnapper is somewhere, but who? She feels like a creep for glancing over to the girl with the red cardigan, but what the hell. She laughs with her group of friends, eyes crinkled and nose scrunched until her laugh becomes closer to an ugly laugh. Would she have seen whoever it was? She-- she had to, right? Shiho adverts her eyes. This town is weird, is what she settles on. "Ah-- Suzui-san?" Startled, she looks up. It's her seat mate's friend. She has long hair and teardrop-shaped eyes, and distantly reminds Shiho of a classmate from Shujin. It's enough to make her long for that goddamn school, with its stupid cursed hallways, cursed classrooms. "Yes?" Shiho says belatedly, realizing a moment late that she's meant to respond. The girl doesn't seem to mind, though-- she smiles politely, and Shiho tries to not feel silly. "Have you joined any clubs, yet?" she asks airly. Shiho pauses and wonders why is this the question of the week. She misreads Shiho's brief silence as something else, and adds on quickly, "I, uh, I've got the responsibility of recruiting for the girl's soccer team, and if you're interested..." Ah. Shiho smiles, even though she becomes conscious of the thudding ache in her legs. She's touched, honestly, even though it's a thing she can never partake in, because the other still asked and that's really really nice of her. She wanted to try playing soccer, once. "Ah, um. I'm sorry," she starts, and the other deflates slightly. "I-- I would, honestly, but the weather around here's been making my legs act up. I don't think I'd be able to play reliably..." The other girl smiles sheepishly and grows flustered. Her seat mate blinks in surprise, having listened in but not disruptively. "No, I totally understand! Leg injuries are awful-- sorry, I didn't realize..." she rubs the back of her neck. Shiho waves away the apology, "It's no problem, I, I don't exactly wear my knee brace as much as I should." The doctors told her to keep from doing too much physical activity, as it always had the chance of old wounds becoming agitated and unbearable. The hills around here were enough of a hike to strain the idea of physical activity. "Woah, what did you even do?" her seat mate asks, too blunt and a little too loudly. It brings the attention of some students, who look over curiously to what she's asking. She glances down openly towards Shiho's knee, the one with the brace fit snuggly over it. Her friend swipes at her arm, chastising her, saying its rude. Shiho's shoulders pull in at all the attention. She shrugs. "Bad fall." — It definitely says something when one of the biggest things in Inaba is the department store. Especially one that has possibly the most grating jingles around. She doesn't know where to start. Clutched in her hand is a grocery list from her mom, who had smiled sheepishly and handed it to her a handful of minutes after she got home. Junes was only a long walk away, it's not like she could refuse. It wasn't a long list, but this place is fairly huge-- she hopes she doesn't spend more than an hour here. She must've come in at some kind of rush hour-- there's enough people in here that she occasionally has to wedge by a couple people standing and chatting in the middle of the isle, which really sucks because sometimes they're standing in front of the things she needs and she does not have the guts to tell someone to take their conversation elsewhere because they're standing in front of the stupid chives. Tthe further into the store she gets, the less people she sees. Then again, she feels like she's getting more and more lost-- this place is impossibly big. Its so dim and spacious and the music is so distant if she didn't know any better she'd think she was in a twilight zone of some sort. Must be the lighting or something. Maybe the music? Or maybe the way that every isle looks basically the same? It definitely competes with the 777s she used to visit in the middle of the night. Now those were definitely liminal spaces. Even though 777s were gross and small and usually understocked, it was probably the place Shiho went to the most besides home and school. It had the food her parents sent her out to get last minute, and it was the place where the slushie machines were. Although she swore up and down that she was on a terrible strict diet, Ann always wanted to get some kind of slushie at the 777 if they weren't around the crepe shop in Shibuya. The cashier recognized them, even told them what flavors were out when they came in. They weren't even that good-- they just happen to be cheap and sweet, and that's all it really takes to be a godsend at one in the morning. Wasn't there some sort of food court near the entrance of this place? Maybe they have a slushie machine? Hopefully they're not too uppity about the machine so she could make unfathomable combos of flavors that should not be mixed. Even if those slushies make her teeth ache from artificial flavoring and gross amounts of sugar, she's craving one now that she's thinking about it. Shiho sighs, grabbing a small bag of rice and absently checking her phone. It was quiet, the screen devoid of messages from either Ann or her parents. Her parents' silence she could understand-- they preferred to call. But Ann? Ann's been crazy busy recently-- modeling gigs usually don't take all that long, do they? Shiho wonders, looking up in thought. She once wanted to tag along and watch what its like, but Ann had been so adamant on her not going because her coworker was a bitch or something along that line. Maybe some days the shoots are longer...? And it crosses her. I wonder if they have any magazines with her in it around here! She thinks, smiling at the idea of it. There's probably magazine stands near the check out, or somewhere else in this store. She just needs to get two more things and then she can go--! There is a child down the isle, looking up longingly towards some pudding cups that are most definitely out of her reach. Shiho stops. And she looks. Looks for a while. What the hell. This kid cannot be older than six, and she is standing alone in a department store. Alone. Sure, the store's full of cameras and people to witness, but isn't it dangerous to leave a kid unattended? Maybe she's lost? No-- she looks surefooted, somehow, for a six year old. Maybe her parent stepped into another isle, accidentally leaving her to linger in front of the pudding...? She is giving the pudding the look of a life time-- there is so much longing in her eyes. How in the hell can there be so much want in a kid's eyes? The only way she would be able to reach the pudding is by climbing the shelves, and she looks too nervous to try, but Shiho knows the kid seriously considered doing it at some point. Shiho shuffles her feet. She's got to do something about this kid being alone, right? It's the proper thing to do, isn't it? It wouldn't sit right in her stomach if she left the kid to her own devices if she actually was lost or left behind. Ah-- but what if she freaks out? Shiho doesn't think she looks scary, but children are unpredictable and being approached by anyone when scared is a catalyst to a meltdown. Then again, this kid doesn't look scared or lost. So, maybe... "Um," she finds herself starting, a bit weak. The girl didn't hear her. "Uh. Do you need any help?" Large brown eyes turn to her. The little girl has pigtails and possibly one of the most mixed emotion looks she's ever seen. It's caught somewhere between distraught and sorrowful, and it's probably because she's maybe two feet too short from being able to reach those pudding cups. She looks back towards the top shelves slowly. "Um. If it wouldn't be much trouble..." she says, voice quiet and high and looks away shyly. She looks really put out from her inability to reach up that high. In three long strides, Shiho stands next to the little girl and reaches up, shifting the basket in her arms so it doesn't knock into the kid's head. "These?" she asks, hand hovering just in front of the special, limited edition chocolate swirl pudding. The girl nods a yes, and Shiho hands it to her. She holds it like its made of pure gold, and it's really cute to see how enamored she is with it. "Hey, um," Shiho starts, pulling the girl's attention from the pack. It's some kind of social obligation to help lonely kids in stores, right? No one really had a protocol to follow when doing it, and she doesn't want to scare the kid off. "Are you alone?" Shiho asks, trying not to feel awkward under the curious look of this kid. She winces, because that sounded really weird, much weirder than she thought it would be. The little girl, surprisingly, frowns, like she's not sure of the answer. "No. Yes. Kinda? Big Bro said I could get some pudding if I wanted to. He's at the check out right now." "He let you come all the way here by yourself?" She isn't sure what kind of brother this dude is, but honestly? Would it kill him to come with his younger sister to get some pudding? It couldn't be that much of a pain to do. The girl looks to the pudding pack in her hands sheepishly. "I said I could. The lines were long at check out and I didn't want to lose our spot so I said I could find it..." What the hell are kids. What the hell is this kid in particular, for she's being crazy grown-up for her mere age of possibly-six. Shiho looks to the basket she's carrying. She still hasn't gotten panko or oats, but she can put that aside for another day. She kinda wants to just help this kid now. "Um. I was just about to go to check out. Do you want me to walk with you back to find your brother?" she asks lightly, hopefully not being creepy. Thankfully, a small, shy smile comes onto the girl's face, and she nods. The girl looks around absently as they go through the isles, eyes lingering on brightly-packaged items. She clutches the pudding like a life-line, though sometimes she looks like she wants to grab something else but quickly retains herself. Shiho is quite honestly charmed by how bright-eyed she is. "Is that your favorite flavor of pudding?" Shiho asks in lieu of conversation, though they shouldn't be far from the check-out. The girl blinks and looks down accordingly to the packaging. She looks at it with an intensity to it, as if she's thinking deeply about the question. "I dunno! I haven't tried that many, but I do like this one." She looks up with blinking doe eyes. "What's your favorite, miss?" They walk out of the isles, and ah, good, there's the check-out. Thank god she remembered the way to the check-out. The girl wasn't wrong-- the lines are pretty lengthy. She wouldn't want to give up a spot in the queues either. "I think I like the caramel chocolate ones," Shiho says absently, peering towards the lines, trying to see anyone who may be this kid's 'Big Bro.' The little girl seems to be doing the same, bowing over and swiveling her head around, and then perks up. "I see him!" she nearly squeals, and hurries down towards the line. Shiho follows at a much slower pace though she probably doesn't need to, but she just wants to make sure the girl's alright. She watches as her brown pigtails bounce as she turns into a register lane, watches as a bright smile grows on her face. The girl stops in front of someone, who had just started putting the things in their basket onto the conveyer belt. Shiho looks up, and-- Small world, huh, she thinks, but then feels dumb because it's a small town and of course she's going to see her classmates outside of class at some point. It's the silver-haired boy, the one that sits in the middle of the classroom. He's friends with the red-cardigan girl, and the two brunettes who stood up for Kanji Tatsumi the first day she was at Yasogami. She doesn't know anything about him. The girl beams up to him, and he smiles something soft back to her. Taking the pudding pack with deft fingers and placing it on the conveyer belt, he nods and listens to the girl chattering to him. After a moment, the girl spins around, easily spying Shiho as if purposely looking for her, and waves. Shiho waves back and then gives a thumbs up, which seems to make the little girl more excited. She looks up from the girl and makes eye contact with her classmate. He blinks-- either in surprise, or maybe she's just trying to read too deeply into things that don't mean anything. He bows his head towards her, perhaps in thanks, and then turns back to the register. Shiho bows back even though he's not looking at her, feels stupid, and since she's already here, steps into the queue.

#persona 5 #p5 #persona 4 #p4 #persona #shiho suzui #seta souji #yu narukami #ann takamaki #just realized italics don't transfer well :(