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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 4 years

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Lily Evans and Severus Snape: Headcanons

So, I was asked in the ask about Sirius and Regulus what I thought about Snape and Lily. At this point people are probably going, “Oh that Carnivorous Muffin is just clearly a Snape stan who thinks he could never do anything wrong and anyone who was slightly mean to him is evil.” Shockingly, I’m actually not, I just happen to think sexual harassment and attempted murder are bad and probably worse than JKR intended (I do think she was trying to go the “boys will be boys” route versus “oh my god, they just dumped pigs blood on Carrie at the prom and then threw her at a starving vampire”)

So let’s start on Snape.

First, Snape did live an incredibly shitty life, with circumstances beyond his control, that did lead to many of his poorer choices. In no way am I saying that it was alright for Snape to have grown up in an impoverished, abusive, household and endured years of humiliation and torment at school.

That said, I believe that we all, in some respects, are responsible for our actions and our decisions. Yes, even when we come from non-privileged backgrounds. Life is hard, some people will have it much easier than you, that doesn’t excuse you becoming a domestic terrorist or tormenting and terrifying your students, young children, so much so that an entire generation comes out with a loathing and incompetence in your subject.

I guess let’s start back on his friendship with Lily Evans. We get... a really weird perspective from Snape on that friendship. Time and her tragic death have warped it into this strange worship where I’m not sure the Lily Evans that exists in his mind and memory is the one that really was there. She’s this shining Madonna idol who he failed, actively betrayed, is very very hung up about it years later.

I suspect they weren’t as good of friends as either of them thought they were and it comes down to Snape’s resentment of his own upbringing and muggles. I believe Snape was very racist towards muggles, specifically, due to his father. It was his way of grappling with his home life and only fueled by being in Slytherin. Lily was probably, in his mind, always a golden exception to the rule (Lily is the token, gold standard, muggleborn where she’s pretty, brilliant, charming, etc.) That Severus himself was a halfblood clearly caused him some angst. What I’m getting at is that I believe throughout their entire friendship, especially when they got to Hogwarts, there was an unacknowledged undercurrent of intense racism that eventually boiled up with that one incident in Snape’s fifth year.

Calling her that, while he views it as a slip of the tongue that damned him for all time, I see it more as a Freudian Slip. That sort of thing doesn’t just slip out from nowhere, not at that age when they both knew exactly what that word meant, it simmers beneath the surface, and was ultimately what he thought of her. Later, she became the Madonna figure that he views her as today (ironically perhaps even less of a person than he viewed her as at the time).

That said I think a number of factors played into the young Snape becoming a Death Eater. One, becoming friends with Lucius/that crowd who were all being sucked into Tom’s influence. Two, having his terrible home life and all the implications of Snape resenting his own blood status as well as muggles and muggle borns at large. Three, the loss of friendship with Lily (now there’s nothing to hold him back anymore, he has no reason to preserve muggleborn life). Fourth, Dumbledore’s letting Sirius, James, and Remus entirely off the hook in the werewolf incident.

That last one, especially, I imagine cemented Snape’s utter hatred of ‘the light’ (don’t get me started on the stupidity of light/dark in Harry Potter but I guess I’ll use the term) and those that cater to muggleborns. They’re hypocrites of the highest order, Dumbledore claiming to defend the poor and non-nobility, when he goes and does the exact opposite (James is the next lord Potter, Sirius is still pureblooded even if disowned, Severus Snape is a dirt poor halfblood).

So what I’m saying is I understand why Snape did become a Death Eater, I do not condone this action. Especially as, unlike Regulus, Snape never gets cold feet. He loves being a Death Eater at first, he’s living the dream, getting all the revenge he ever wanted and burning the stupid wizarding world to the ground as he scrambles for ways to climb in Tom Riddle’s graces. We don’t see any hint that he was wavering, thinking of the fact that beloved Lily might die in battle, perhaps at his hand, until the prophecy.

Now, I’m a little kinder than some about the prophecy. We know Snape overhears the first portion of the prophecy in early 1980. He eagerly rushes to the dark lord, regales him with the prophecy in both a) aid to the cause and b) in the hopes of climbing in the ranks and gaining the dark lord’s notice. At this point, Lily Evans is pregnant, perhaps knows the gender, but has not given birth. Months later, when both Neville Longbottom and Harry Potter are born at the end of July, Snape realizes he has signed Lily Evans’ death warrant (because despite Dumbledore talking, I imagine Tom always planned to kill off both children, Pettigrew just happened to make things convenient for Tom to go to the Potters first).

With Lily’s death now so inevitable, and her blood on his own hands, Snape has his existential crisis, goes to Dumbledore who puts the Potters in hiding and becomes a double agent. Snape also pleads for Lily’s life with Tom and he puts in a minimal amount of effort to spare the woman.

Then Lily dies anyway and now Snape lives in the bitter cynicism most commonly seen in characters from Game of Thrones. He’s Dumbledore’s agent and sort of a Dirty Harry character, getting to see all the nasty things that many of the other order members never have to deal with. He’s one of the more intelligent characters in the series, able to see the truth of the world he lives in, but he also doesn’t care enough to actually do anything about it. He’s a bitter, resentful, and angry protector of Harry Potter, choosing to hate a naive child for all the reminders of his own terrible life (both in Lily, for failing and betraying her, and in James his most hated rival and tormentor). He gleefully enables the favoritism of Slytherin (my god how he panders to Draco Malfoy) while tormenting poor Neville into terror (that Neville’s greatest 13 year old fear is Snape is very telling).

Basically by the time we get to him in canon Snape not only isn’t happy but I think he doesn’t want to be happy. He’s accustomed to his bitterness, his cynicism, his quiet rage and moves forward out of both resignation, guilt, and a sense of obligation to a woman’s ghost. The actions he takes in canon aren’t so much for Harry as they are for the memory of Lily Evans.

Even if Snape could be happy at that point, change his life or his purpose, I do not think he would. He’s a man who has given up on life.

Now, onto Lily Evans.

You probably think I’m going to rail on her to for the sheer hypocrisy and nerve of marrying James Potter. I’m actually not. Lily Evans is one of my favorite characters in the Harry Potter series and probably the one I’d label as the most moral (though that’s a very low bar in Harry Potter, the characters are almost all assholes, but even so Lily would still be very high on the list).

You know what, I’m just going to damn myself and sound like a crazy person. Lily Evans always reads to me as a more moral young female Tom Riddle.

What the hell? You undoubtedly ask but I’ll explain.

Lily, while having a far more stable homelife than Tom Riddle, also comes from a muggleborn background. She’s exceptionally brilliant, very good looking, and very charming with a lot of people who would call her friends but no one close. Lily, aside from Snape (and that’s debatable), has no friends.

If Lily had not been a Gryffindor, and were Dumbledore not a raging misogynist, his Tom Riddle bells likely would have been ringing with her.

“But wait, that can’t be right!”

Oh, yes it can. First, as I went into above with Snape and Lily, there was something deeply wrong with that friendship. I believe they both considered themselves best friends, didn’t see many of the warning flags, but ultimately we see the giant fissure when Snape lets loose the m-word. Given all of that, I would not label them having been true friends in the first place. Just the appearance of friends.

Otherwise, while it’s very easily to canonically point out James’ friends it’s incredibly difficult to do so with Lily. First, people hardly remember Lily. We get Dumbledore talking about her like she’s the Virgin Mary, saving her son with the power of her love. We get Snape’s weird Virgin Mary impressions of her. Otherwise, it’s pretty much just Slughorn. Everyone else remembers that she married James and that was great because JAMES WAS SO COOL and that she had very striking eyes and was “nice”. Lily is less than a ghost in Harry Potter canon (sadly Harry never really realizing it).

Also, unlike James who has Sirius, Remus, and Peter to point towards (that are very important characters in canon). Lily has no one. The godmother was Alice Longbottom, a woman many years older than Lily and James who probably liked Lily well enough but I can’t imagine was a close friend. In canon there’s an offhand mention of two girls named Mary and Marlene but we don’t see much of them/Severus was always cited as Lily’s closest friend. As for Lily’s sister, well we know they’re estranged. I think it’s very telling that Lily writes a letter to Sirius, James’ best friend and certainly not hers, telling him that James is pouting over his invisibilty cloak. It’s because there was no one else to write.

So Lily Evans is a brilliant girl, who everyone likes and is very charming, but has no friends and led a very lonely and short life.

Here’s where my slack towards Lily comes in.

When she dumps Snape I completely understand why she did so. Snape dropping that word wasn’t simply a mistake, a moment of infinite regret, but something that revealed what he truly thought of her and where she came from. Lily was absolutely right in walking away.

However, without Snape, her closest friend is suddenly gone and the world is cold. As graduation approaches I imagine Lily’s career options become clearer and clearer. While very talented and smart, Lily is a muggleborn, what job she does manage to get (thanks to the sheer nepotism of the wizarding world/lack of jobs) will likely be through Slughorn if she manages to get a job at all. The world is cold and it is cruel and no one seems to even notice.

Cue James Potter. I do believe, probably until seventh year, Lily loathed James, not simply because of the horrifying things he did to Severus (and I’m sure she knew very little of it, Snape hiding most of it from her out of pride and shame), but because he’s just a giant dick. He’d make flirting with her a kind of game and joke to be shared with Sirius, something to hold over Snape’s head, like she’s a prize to be one.

However, by seventh year the werewolf incident has happened, Snape’s retreated further and further into Death Eater recruit land and she’s cut him off, and for all my “James is a dick” I do imagine he calmed down a little. Now that Snape is no longer friends with Lily/after the whole almost murder incident I imagine they didn’t bully him nearly as much as they used to. Though yes, they probably still bullied him, but Lily probably doesn’t know that now that she’s lost contact with Snape.

James is charming and very good looking. He seems a bit more mature than he used to be. Lily is desperately lonely, living in a world that rejects everything she is, and James seems like one of the few who does support her (that James is more of a ‘pretty fly for a white guy’ kind of support for muggleborns doesn’t hit until later). So Lily is charmed and makes the largest mistake of her life, she and James start dating.

Now, given their extreme youth as well as Lily’s pedigree (say what you like, I don’t think Mr. and Mrs. Potter were thrilled that their son was dating a muggleborn) I imagine the wedding was a shot gun wedding and Lily got unintentionally pregnant. Yes, go ahead and throw fruit at me or call foul, I just can’t imagine they’d want a child that young while in the middle of a war while they’re part of an active resistance movement and only just out of Hogwarts.

Then things start snowballing downhill. Lily and James have just joined the resistance movement, Lily’s son is prophesied to defeat Voldemort, they strongly suspect one of James’ close friends is a spy, and they’re forced into hiding.

In hiding is where I imagine stress runs high and their marriage begins to fall apart. We know from Lily’s letter that James was routinely leaving hiding, using the cloak, so he could meet up with Sirius and Peter (I imagine Lupin’s on the out as they suspected he was the spy). While James might not realize what a big deal that was, I imagine Lily always did, and she begins to realize just what she’s gotten herself into but there’s no way out while in hiding.

Now we go really off the rails into headcanon territory in: what the hell is up with Harry Potter?

In my stories, I often choose the unwitting god route. Harry can’t die because he is a god, he becomes the master of death and always was the master of death. This is an answer, but it’s one that makes canon Harry a god and... I would not want canon Harry as a god. JKR and Dumbledore push the “Lily loved her child so much that it deflected death... multiple times” but this always felt... unsatisfying. Many parents love their children (fathers too, JKR, let’s not make this weird Virgin Mary thing) and yet Harry Potter alone in the history of mankind survives multiple times.

Most likely, Lily pulled off some insane bullshit with absolutely no resources and minimal education AND EVERYONE IGNORES IT. We do know that Lily crafted the blood wards, wards stronger than anything Dumbledore himself can come up with/than Voldemort can break. Ones that protect Harry not only at home but away from it as it melts Voldemort for simply touching his skin. Lily pulled off the impossible in only a few months and did it right under everyone’s nose.

This makes her easily one of the most intelligent characters in Harry Potter. Probably beating out Dumbledore and maybe tying with Tom Riddle. And Dumbledore tells us, “Your Virgin Mary mother loved you so much, Harry, that it courses through your veins and lights those that would want to harm you on fire.”

So, that’s Lily for you.

Now, that said, I’m probably a bit biased and clearly very lenient with her marrying James. To be honest it took me years to figure out why the hell Lily would ever marry James after what happened with Severus and was always one of those weird canon things I never quite understood. He’s that good looking and charming, I guess, was my response.

The answer I now land on with some confidence was that the world is that cruel and bleak and Lily was utterly alone for two years.

By the way, a side note/plug, of all my stories while head canons do pop up here and there I think “October” is one where they tend to crop up more. It’s a vast AU of canon, but it gives an idea of what I think x character would do in y situation.

#headcanons #harry potter #lily evans #severus snape #october

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carewyncromwell · 3 years

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Hi guys! I thought I’d start this HPHM AU Ships Challenge, just for funsies! Feel free to steal and pass it along, if thou dost wish!

Tagging @dat-silvers-girl, @annabelle-tanaka-official, @angellazull, @lifeofkaze, @samshogwarts, @drinkyoursoupbitch, @kc-needs-coffee, @cursed-ice-spirits, @thatravenpuffwitch, @cursebreaker-lilith, @cursebreakerfarrier, and @cursebreakerelmswood! 💖💛💙💚

What HPHM characters (or MCs) could you see your MC dating, in an AU? What would their relationship be like? Why did you ultimately decide not to go with that ship, or do you still hold a torch for it?

My answers for my girl Carewyn are under the cut!!

(Sorry, I couldn’t resist starting with a recycled doodle of my canon ship, the HMS Carion. 🥰)

Andre Egwu

Alright, right off the bat, we should discuss Carewyn’s canon ex, Andre. Carewyn and Andre attended the Celestial Ball and dated until their fifth year, breaking up right after the All-Wizard tournament. Fortunately despite their break-up, they’ve stayed on good terms and still greatly respect each other -- but truthfully, I never intended for them to be a long-term match in any universe. If you’d like to read more about why Carewyn/Andre didn’t work out, you can consult this analysis, but to put it very simply, Andre was someone Carewyn admired deeply, but couldn’t ever be completely herself around. And from a personal perspective, my parents are one of those rare couples who remained friends even after divorcing, and I’ve always found their relationship really fascinating, as no one can deny they do still sincerely love and admire each other, even if it’s no longer romantically. Carewyn and Andre know each other in a way no one else does, so it gives their friendship a depth that it didn’t have before -- so unlike with a lot of relationships, their bond actually strengthened after they broke up, rather than falling apart.

Bill Weasley

In Carewyn’s canon, Bill ends up becoming Carewyn’s best friend. Although at the start, their relationship had much more of a surrogate big brother/little sister dynamic, over time the two ended up on much more equal terms, both as Cursebreaker partners and as unofficial “parents” for the rest of their friend group. Bill is Carewyn’s right-hand man both while dealing with the Cursed Vaults and while leading the Circle of Khanna, and even though Carewyn wants nothing to do with Cursebreaking after dealing with the Vaults, she’ll still drop everything to help Bill with his work, should he need her. Bill is the one who came up with the nickname “Carey” for Carewyn, and he’s also arguably the friend who understands Carewyn best after the death of Rowan, given the similarities in their personalities and how long they’ve known each other. I actually did write out a post guessing what a romantic relationship between these two might’ve been like if they’d become a thing, but honestly, I’ve never really shipped these two. Carewyn may not be entirely based on me (she’s got elements of my mum too), but one aspect of the wish fulfilment for me early on was that my girl could have a ride-or-die best friend like Ron was for Harry in the original Potter books. In the end, that friend ended up being Bill, Ron’s eldest brother and a character I loved when I first read the books and only became fonder of through the game. And honestly, we could really use more sincerely loving, but completely platonic male-female friendships that never bump up against romance!!

Talbott Winger

Talbott and Carewyn are truly “birds of a feather,” though one would never know it based on their respective masks. Talbott is the sort to put a gruff facade on to hide his more sensitive feelings, while Carewyn is the sort to put on a pretty face to hide her angrier and sadder feelings. Underneath, though, they both are stubborn, intelligent, and distrustful people with a strong desire to fight evil and a creative spirit. After becoming an Animagus, Carewyn would frequently fly around the school grounds with Talbott in robin form, singing songs for both herself and Talbott, and even though Talbott teased her about it, he did sincerely enjoy it. Carewyn loves reading Talbott’s poetry, and Talbott is also one of the few people who can get Carewyn to laugh a lot, since their senses of humor line up really well. Last but not least, they become a lawyer and an Auror post-Hogwarts, so they end up working together A LOT, especially post-War. I did write a prompt once about what a Talbott/Carewyn romance would be like, and I admit, I could see them being a relatively good couple, particularly since I headcanon both of them as being on the ace spectrum. That being said, though, I ultimately didn’t go with Talbott for Carewyn for two reasons. One, I thought they’d be too similar in a lot of ways (most notably, they’re way too friggin’ serious -- give each of these two some sunshine, will you??) -- and two, on a much more superficial note, Talbott was so popular that I kind of hesitated before having Carewyn ask him out. (Plus come on, for that date, how much of a b*tch would you have to be to break Andre’s heart and then snatch up an outfit he made for you to wear on a date with his dormmate?! Just -- COME ON.)

Chiara Lobosca

When I first started playing HPHM, I strongly considered shipping my girl with Chiara, once she broke up with Andre. From the moment Chiara and Carewyn met, Carewyn just knew she had to know Chiara better, and that ended up being because -- thanks to her latent Legilimency potential -- she could subconsciously sense that Chiara and she were similar in a lot of ways. Most importantly, Chiara was very lonely and desperately longed for a friend, which reminded Carewyn of how lonely her pre-Hogwarts life was, especially after Jacob disappeared. Once Carewyn earned Chiara’s trust, Carewyn proved herself to be a very loyal friend, even learning how to become a robin Animagus so she could keep Chiara company and cheer her up with twittered songs during full moons. Both Carewyn and Chiara are sensitive “Healer” type personalities (though Chiara is a bit more literal of one) who fight against their own crippling self-loathing to try to nurture others. This, in the end, though, is why I hesitated on making them official and why I’m ultimately glad I didn’t. Like Talbott, Chiara in some ways is too similar to Carewyn, and I think in a romantic relationship, they wouldn’t grow as much as people through their interactions. I did come up with quite a few ideas about what their relationship might be like -- but ultimately I couldn’t help but feel that Carewyn’s happy ending couldn’t just be about peace, but about finding someone who could challenge and contrast her.

Diego Caplan

This started off as a crack ship for me before actually gaining some legs and becoming Chiara/Carewyn’s main opponent, when it came to my debate with myself regarding Carewyn’s romantic future. In contrast to Chiara, Diego is pretty much Carewyn’s complete opposite. Carewyn is a planner. Diego is spontaneous. Carewyn is meticulous. Diego is flirtatious. Carewyn is serious. Diego is anything but. Carewyn is ace. Diego I headcanon as pan. And yet they both have their romantic and creative sides and are both seasoned fighters and loyal friends. Diego would definitely be able to bring some levity to Carewyn’s life, while Carewyn could bring some grounding to Diego’s. Diego even has a cute little nickname for Carewyn from their time in the Circle of Khanna: “general!” In short, these two would be perfect leads in a rom-com chick flick. But this, ultimately, ended up being why I hesitated on making them official and why I’m ultimately glad I didn’t. Diego/Carewyn is a ship that could really only bloom and blossom under fair conditions, and I had trouble seeing Diego being equipped to deal with Carewyn’s darker emotions or even her more intellectual bent. Just like with Chiara, I came up with plenty of ideas about how these two could be as a couple -- but I really felt as though Carewyn needed more than just “fun” as a happy ending. And ultimately, this conflict between peace VS fun ended up coming to an end when I discovered Carewyn/Orion, as Orion could provide Carewyn with both.

Jae Kim

Okay, honestly? When I first encountered Jae as a character, I didn’t think he and Carewyn would have anything in common, but in a weird way, they sort of subvert their respective house’s stereotype by exhibiting values from the other’s house! Gryffindors are seen as these rash, reckless, show-off hero types, but Jae showcases a lot of Slytherin-worthy cleverness, resourcefulness, and disregard for rules and what others think of him. Slytherins are seen as these cold, cruel, ambitious villain types, but Carewyn showcases a lot of Gryffindor-worthy courage, nobility, and selflessness. And so even though Jae is generally a rulebreaker and Carewyn is generally a rule-follower, when circumstances made it ideal for them to be on good business terms (namely, working in detention together and Carewyn needing an ally who knows Knockturn Alley and Jae needed an ally who was a Prefect), they soon found a lot of common ground. Add to that how much Carewyn encourages Jae’s cooking talent while respecting his privacy, and it’s little wonder that post-Hogwarts, when Jae opens up his own pub on the border of Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley, the two still meet up very frequently to swap news from their respective corners of the world. I admittedly don’t know how well Carewyn’s job as a magical lawyer would be conducive to her being anything other than friends with Jae, and I don’t think they’d ultimately have many interests in common, so I do much prefer them as friends, but their dynamic is full of fun contrasts!

Ben Copper

Hahaha, oh god. So. Obviously Ben in-game is still very polarizing, but in my canon, Ben and Carewyn’s relationship is really complex and honestly one of my absolute favorite friendships for my girl. Ben was one of Carewyn’s very first friends, so he -- like Rowan, Bill, and Penny -- knows Carewyn in a way few others do. He befriended her before she became known as the poised, perfect Slytherin “Mama Bear,” but unlike her other friends, he was a bit disappointed by her abrupt transformation between her third and fourth years. While those like Bill, Penny, and Andre saw it as Carewyn coming into her own, Ben noticed how much Carewyn put herself “over” the rest of her friends, becoming their protector more than their equal, and Ben lamented it, disliking how he felt like a responsibility to Carewyn more than her friend. But Ben kept those feelings inside, not knowing how to properly express them when he did still cherish Carewyn’s friendship. After the events in the Portrait Vault, Ben went through his own dramatic change, and Carewyn sure enough didn’t end up liking it any better than Ben had liked hers. But ultimately the two had a heart-to-heart and realized that they both had become very different people than the kids who’d befriended each other in first year. After Rowan’s death and the formation of the Circle of Khanna, the two reforged their friendship on more equal terms. I did actually write out an AU roleplay where Ben and Carewyn’s confrontation in Jacob’s room ended up hinting Ben/Carewyn, but I ultimately think that the people they ultimately become are way too different to be a great romantic match. It makes their friendship fascinating, as it makes you wonder how such a tall, suspicious, reckless Gryffindor ever befriended such a poised, methodical, lady-like Slytherin...but even if they do feel a lot of deep platonic love for each other and I personally headcanon Ben being on the ace spectrum like Carewyn, I ultimately think they’d have very different dreams in mind for their future and would each need something different in a romantic partner.

Barnaby Lee

Barnababy!! 💚 Yeah, Barnaby Lee is my personal favorite HPHM character, and yet I have never really shipped him seriously with Carewyn, even though I love their relationship and could see potential chemistry. Barnaby and Carewyn are both amazingly sensitive, loyal, and modest Slytherins with a love of magical creatures and a strong sense of honor, but they also contrast each other in some fun ways too. Carewyn may put on a happy face a lot, but she’s actually rather pessimistic. Barnaby’s unblinkingly optimistic and he wouldn’t even dream of putting on a mask to hide his feelings. Then of course there’s the fact that Carey-Bear is this tiny and rather physically weak thing, while Barnaby is a perfectly dashing tank. 😂 Barnaby and Carewyn are both protective of each other, as seen by Barnaby throwing himself in front of Carewyn to shield her from an Imperiused Rowan’s spell and Carewyn verbally tearing into Ismelda when she learned she planned to use a Love Potion on him. Barnaby was the one who really taught Carewyn about how deceiving appearances can be, and Carewyn was the one who really taught Barnaby about how generous and selfless friendship could be, so they both respect each other a lot. For all that respect, though, there’s a significant slant to their relationship. Carewyn supports Barnaby emotionally infinitely more than she would ever let him support her, so their dynamic comes across as very “mother/son”-like rather than complete equals. Plus, honestly, I think Barnaby and Carewyn’s dreams for their respective futures -- namely, to be a magizoologist traveling the world and to be a magical lawyer for the Ministry of Magic -- don’t match up in the least bit. I could also see Barnaby wanting a large family, and Carewyn has no interest in bearing children herself and would prefer a quieter home life.

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fangirlbase · 3 years

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The Howl of the Moon - Remus Lupin

Summary:

After a terrible accident in the battle at the Ministry in 1995, Hermione Granger wins a one-way ticket to the past. Unable to go back to his time, his only chance for survival is to adapt to the late 70s and get on with his life, interfering as little as possible so that the future does not fall apart.

However, everything goes downhill when Remus John Lupine starts to notice too much the new girl who clearly wanted to go unnoticed by Hogwarts.

Warnings: mature

4.The one of the birthday

Anyway, March had arrived!

It was less than three months to the end of school, but it also meant that nearly a month had passed since the Valentine's Day disaster. I mean, disaster in parts and just for a few people, as James and Lily couldn't be happier in their passionate bubble, not to mention the redhead wouldn't give up on the idea that Remus and Granger were a potential couple, they couldn't be still, but if it were up to her the four would soon have a double date! It had taken at least four days for Hermione to speak fearlessly to Remus again, and at least a week for Remus to stop treating Lilly with vengeful indifference, which unfortunately for them had only reinforced the absurd idea of a possible crush even further. in Lily's head.

So the ninth of March had arrived and with it the eighteen years of Remus! Unfortunately, it fell on the first day of the full moon, but luckily they would have a total eclipse that night, which meant…

- PARTY AT THE SHRIEKING SHACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A night just among the marauders, completely free of a curious and violent werewolf breaking free and running across the school grounds. Despite loathing the lunar cycle, Remus Lupine loved eclipses. When an eclipse was in the sky, Moony fell asleep inside him practically disappearing, making the wizard feel completely human - if only for a few hours.

No naughty whispers, no chocolate stuff, and no sharp senses!

Just him, a somewhat shy, scarred teenager who allowed himself to live a little.

Although the party was only later, none of them had shown up for dinner in the great hall that night - which in itself had been reason enough to make Minerva's hair stand on end. Everyone knows that professors love to gossip about students' lives and this was no different at Hogwarts, so of course Professor McGonagall had noticed the closeness between Jean and Remus during tutoring. So with the excuse of asking Miss Granger to try to stop any potential madness the marauders were planning, he called the student into his office as soon as she had finished her dinner:

- Oh, is today his birthday?

- Naturally, that's why I imagine he and his roommates are up to it like a Bunch of Silly Baboons.

Hermione, for her part, couldn't hide her laughter, she still remembered the dance lessons she had taken in fourth year for the Winter Ball where Minerva had made that same criticism of the Gryffindor students. So the girl wondered if the marauders had been the first to hear such endearing adjectives. The older witch seeing the student's laugh also smiled.

- I see that you have become very close to Mr. Lupin, a fine boy, I must say.

- Teacher, I'm not for that much… We are a good pair… Working! I mean, we work well together, in monitoring! - She replied embarrassed, wanting to run away from the subject as she was running from Lilian.

- Honey, don't waste the opportunities that Cupid presents to you. - And suddenly the teacher's eyes became very melancholy and hurt. - I once met a young witch as promising as you. Extremely intelligent and dedicated to studies. She met a guy who shared her same sense of humor, he was the only one who could debate as fiercely and passionately as she… Before the girl knew he was on his knees proposing marriage and she accepted. The teacher's melancholy smile was more than enough for Hermione to know that it wasn't just any student's story she was telling.

- Teacher despite whatever my heart dares to feel. And I don't say he feels anything about the matter of Mr Lupcough cough.” He coughed uncomfortable with everything the teacher was inferring. - Well what I mean is that under the circumstances in which I find myself… The way I came here. I couldn't… I simply wouldn't dare. I mean, it's too risky!

- And what I mean, Jean is that I don't want that story to repeat itself. Like you, she had a thousand and one very plausible and rational reasons to break off the engagement what she did. However, when she realized that as far as the heart, love, or even mere affection and camaraderie were concerned, it was not rationality that should have been heard, it was too late!

Hermione didn't know how to respond, despite all her embarrassment with Lily on Valentine's Day she had never looked at Remus in that way! Yes they were good friends, got along well together and could talk about anything for hours and hours. Of course she found his shy way cute in an adorable way like a needy pet, and she sure enjoyed Lupine's chocolate addiction, but she never looked at him as anything other than a housemate. By Merlin, she often had to remember that he wasn't her teacher but a teenager like her! But love, affection?

Seeing that the student was clearly confused, Minerva turned away from the subject and went back to inquiring about the possible pranks the Gryffindor quartet might be planning. But if even Jean didn't know what they were up to, McGonagall could only hope that Bunch of Silly Baboons Baboons didn't do any damage to her school! Dismissing the student right away, stating that she needed to correct some parchments for the next transfiguration class for sophomores.

Hermione, still shaken by the previous conversation, left, but soon stopped at the door, turning hesitantly towards the teacher.

- Teacher… If I may ask. What happened to your student and the guy she turned down?

- Naturally they went their separate ways. I understand she has taken on an important position in the ministry of magic. And he... found a new someone to love...

- I… I'm sorry teacher.

- Me too, Jean, but it's late now. Go back to the dorm if I won't be forced to give you detention. - The teacher joked, but Hermione couldn't help but hear the melancholy tone in the witch's words.

* * *

Contrary to what Minerva thought, the only damage the quartet would do would be to their own bodies. Come on, it was Lupine's birthday and more than that it was his night of sobriety about the wolf that shared his body! It was obvious that they would get drunk until tomorrow!

The four met on the second floor of the screaming house near eight-thirty at night, with them having prepared a nice little party for their werewolf friend: lots of fire whiskey, a chocolate cake, butterbeer, thousands of sweets from Fingers of Honey not to mention a mini feast smuggled straight from the kitchen of Hogwarts, after all the house elves adored James and Sirius. And of course a small bottle of water - since Peter liked to hydrate between a glass and another - the only sensible one in the group that night. All three were moved by the birthday boy's happiness, noticing how the daily weight had disappeared from Remus' back, being ridiculously lighter.

- And what are we waiting for? - With that sentence James started the night's celebrations.

Drinks over there, cakes over here when they saw it, it was past ten at night and everyone was irrevocably drunk. It had been at least six glasses of whiskey for Sirius, with Remus finishing up his fifth - which was already more than a little more than ideas after three bottles of butterbeer.

- Does Audrey know the reason for her disappearance, Peter? - James asked as he chewed on a chicken leg.

- Just I was celebrating the birthday of one of you.

Audrey Flint was the Slytherin who had sent Peter the little Valentine's card, and who had surprisingly been dating her ever since.

- Remus, even Peter has a girlfriend. When are you going to get one? You know I don't care about gender as long as he or she knows that marauders are their priority! - Sirius asked, nudging the werewolf beside him.

"Lily said it won't be long before he and Granger assume something." - James delivered his girlfriend.

- That's not it! Jean and I are just... friends? - Remus asked embarrassed, but at the mention of Jean rather than the clear questioning of his partner preferences. The truth is, Lupine didn't know if he was in the position of Granger's friends or colleagues at that point in the championship. The relationship was weird since Valentine's Day, at times it seemed that nothing had changed while at others Moony was a real busybody!

- If even that you know what they are. It's definitely lost!

- If they're not friends they can definitely be something else. - Peter nudged, liking the way Remus was starting to turn red and bewildered.

"The way you treated Lily after Valentine's Day just shows how much you're into her, Remus." - James insisted.

- No, no, NO! - Remus managed to deny it. - You got it all wrong! Jean and I would never work, you know I can't….

- I bet you're denying it like that because you don't know how to kiss. - Peter threw more wood into the fire.

- Of course I know how to kiss! - Remus was insulted.

That was partly true, as she'd had her first kiss two years earlier, also in an eclipse, when she'd allowed herself to experience a kiss that night. It had been at a Gryffindor party and had been no more than a smacking of lips, and since then he'd never come close to anyone else's mouth.

- A little kiss does not count as knowing how to kiss! - Sirius accused his friend, turning to him.

- And how do you expect me to learn then?! You know I don't…

Sirius didn't let his colleague finish, with a roguish grin he pulled Remus' neck towards him.

- Like this. - Whispered in his friend's ear, having fun when he saw the same shiver, approaching his body more and more.

In a second their lips were joined, with Black initiating an agitated kiss. He knew his friend had no experience, he had the vague memory in his drunken memory of Lupin describing how shameful and awkward that peck had been two years ago - so it had started slowly, but not having much patience and being clearly upset, he deepened the kiss without blinking. Then he opened his mouth hungrily, forcing his tongue against Remus' mouth, who surprisingly had given way and not only that, but was also trying to match his roommate's reckless rhythm.

After all, if it was in the rain, it was to get wet!

Mimicking Sirius' movements, Remus also held the brunet's neck possessively, intensifying the movements of his lips - adrenaline rushing through him. Their tongues tangled and wrestled and caressed, all to the sound of Peter's laughter and the shocked spit of James who had just put another glass of whiskey in his mouth when his friends began kissing furiously. It wasn't his fault he got scared and spit it all out at Peter!

But just as slowly as it started, the kiss ended.

- See if you learn and do it right with Granger. Sirius fixed his hair. - And if she doesn't want to, I'll always be here for you, monny! - He stated provocatively as he turned another glass.

- At least she won't have a beard itching. - Remus implied joining in the joke. - Can you tell me how you're still alone?

- There is no woman for me at Hogwarts. - Sirius declared, just like Xuxa Meneghel, where there were no men for her in Brazil.

* * *

All marauders were completely rotten, miserable, destroyed and finished.

All but Peter, who wisely interspersed the whiskey with generous doses of water, being the one who drank the least at the party - having a preference for chocolate cake. Sirius was down on the infirmary (he had the greatest resistance to alcohol, but even he overreacted); James was clinging to the toilet in Gryffindor, Peter was cheerful and bouncy with his Audrey, while Remus exploded with a headache. His eyes were sunken, his head seemed to be being poked by five drills as runaway ambulances pulled up to his ear - all with Moony barking furiously at being repelled last night by the "unnatural and evil" eclipse (words of the Wolf).

At least her swollen system from Moony's presence had minimized the seasickness effects, but the migraine remained like a sledgehammer on an anvil.

A bad mood had irrevocably seized Lupin. From the first dawn of the day Remus was IM-PRA-TI-Cable, being almost the human and rabid version of Moony, threatening to stupefy the next one who made noise in front of him. At least in the morning, since after lunch the sobriety potions began to take effect, turning him once again into a Pomeranian lulu and no longer a rabid pinscher.

At least that afternoon he could rest peacefully, as no one even went to the prefects! His plan was a quiet, undisturbed nap!

"You know, you might as well practice those licks with Jean, instead of pretending to be lazy" - Moony spoke like someone who didn't want anything when they were alone, going to the prefect.

- Licks…? - Remus was confused.

But Moony was prepared for that, immediately projecting memories of the night before - causing Remus to trip over his own feet at the sight and feel of Sirius' mouth and beard against his face.

THEY HAD DONE WHAT?!

“Nothing against what you prefer, but I think Jean more…. intriguing"

- Remus? Is everything OK? - Hermione asked after noticing the pale state that the ex-teacher arrived in the transfiguration room.

And it was when Remus' eyes focused on the girl that his face went up in flames, still moved by Moony's suggestion. THAT MEDDING WOLF!

"Just slightly drunk…" He replied, crawling to his seat, sitting down comfortably while putting his backpack as a pillow.

- Drunk?! I don't think Minerva was counting on it! - She laughed.

- Are you her new spy, Jean? Before it was Lily who was our probation officer. Befriended me just to watch over James and Sirius? - Remus joked, settling into his wallet.

- I don't know if that was her real intention, but it felt like it to me last night when she called me in her office to talk about... How did she say? Ah yes, "silly baboons babbling in a pack"!.

- There is! Professor Minerva has always been the most creative at Hogwarts! - The witcher laughed, soon regretting it when his head began to throb again and he moaned in discontent.

- What made you drunk so far?

- I had a birthday.

- Congratulations? Hermione asked, undecided by the deplorable state of the boy beside her.

He nodded gratefully, then tucked his head back into his backpack.

- Thanks, but would you mind holding the butts without me today? I put up with all day waiting for that nap.

Hermione just nodded, patting her light brown hair in congratulation, not seeing Moony squirm happily in the mind of Remus, a real needy puppy.

However, just that day, a living being appeared at the monitor in search of clearing up his doubts about the last transfiguration class of the seventh year, regretting it the moment he saw who was the monitor of his class.

Severus Snape would not stoop to the point of asking one of the marauders what things, no matter how trivial! Even though the rascal in question was almost drooling over his backpack by now.

- Can I help you? Hermione asked, noticing Snape's intention to turn around and leave.

- Do you know the content of the seventh year or just this wolf project? - Asked mockingly as he indicated with his chin the Gryffindor passed out.

- You'd be surprised what I know. - Retorted defiantly. She had almost changed her mind when Severus implied knowing that Remus was a wolf, but quickly remembered that he had almost died because of Remus, or rather because of Sirius who played a more than unfortunate prank on the Slytherin. His challenge did not find deaf ears.

Threat, warning, knowledge and... flirting? The girl's challenge reached every possible sense, although Severus very much doubted the latter.

Well, Snape had a mirror in the bedroom, and even if he didn't, he was reminded of his questionable appearance all the time. Jean might have publicly rejected Sirius Black, but he would never look at someone like him, so there was no chance of it being a lame excuse to kiss in the nearest broom closet - although the idea was not repulsive to him, and well he even thought it was Very pretty.

Hermione thought he must be very desperate to actually accept her help, after all she was a year younger, muggleborn (not that he knew of) and Gryffindor. She actually thought he would refuse her help because she was a Gryffindor, but here he was snorting discontent as he sat at a desk and indicated the chair across from him an unquestionable invitation.

At the end of it all Snape had been impressed by how smart the girl was. He suspected even more than that drooling Siberian husky snoring a few wallets away. But Severus' joy was short-lived, as in the middle of the explanation another individual immensely more undesirable than the slime project sprang up in the classroom.

- HEY, SNOTTY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEAR HER?! - Sirius forgot his hangover to make trouble in defense of the girl one of his best friends was clearly interested in, waking Remus in the process.

- I don't see your name on it, Black! Snape shot back, making Hermione arch an eyebrow. Since when has she become a reason for egos?

Indifferent on the outside, but laughing on the inside, Hermione allowed herself to agree that that tirade had been good, very good. Maybe even enough to forget one or two reprimands Snape had given him in the future.

Was Sirius this annoying always? If she ever made it back, she wouldn't stop complaining to Harry about her friend's godfather's impossible behavior at school.

- What makes you think you can come here, snotty?! Get closer to us….

- As far as I know, here is a classroom at Hogwarts, in pre-service time for the transfiguration subject.

- If you have any doubts, ask someone of your level. - Sneered.

Hermione was terribly offended. He had called her stupid, for being a year younger! But she soon realized that it would make more sense that Sirius was referring to the fact that it wasn't a death eater project. Or something like this?

- I would, but the creature in question is sleeping during working hours. Should I report this slip to Professor McGonagall?

Sirius even managed to pull out his wand and cast a spell, but Hermione was quicker and threw a stream of water at him.

- Unpleasant. I hate the smell of wet dogs. - Snape teased once more.

- ENOUGH! - He interfered by talking to both of them. - What are you doing here, Black?

- Is it forbidden to visit my friends now?!

- That's when he threatens another student!

- You mean you agree that you are my friend! - He wasted no time, giving a wink being promptly responded with another jet of water.

- If you do not mind? - She said turning to Severus who kept his victorious smile in front of the soaked Gryffindor. - Would you like us to finish our monitoring elsewhere? Hermione asked Snape, who readily agreed, following the short-haired girl to the library. Where she had a private class in the subject, at least as far as Jean knew, after all she was a year younger, as much as she knew a lot about seventh grade content, that wasn't all. Surprisingly the Slytherin completed the gaps without any mockery or contempt for her making the time together really enjoyable.

Confused, Remus watched the girl depart with the stateroom Slytherin, confused and somewhat irritated with Sirius for making her leave.

- I think it's better you do it right with her! - Sirius warned him. - Or sooner or later she may fall for that venomous snake's tricks! Or better yet, in my charms! - He joked.

- Padfoot, she is more likely to date Snape than to date you, I would say until she marries him and has five children and eighteen cats. - Remus chuckled, relieved the kiss between them hadn't been a big deal.

Just brother's things, you know!

- Since you are missing the magnificent chance to be with me, I say with propriety, from someone who has a lot of experience, that you have more chances than him.

- Chances of what? She's just a friend, coworker at best. Besides, she's afraid of canines.

- Well… that's bad for both of us, Moony. - Sirius spoke to the werewolf, who just sighed in Remus' mind.

“I wish I were a fish…”

#remione #remus lupin #sirius x remus #sirius x remus x hermione #sirius black #Hermione Granger #travel time #time turner #back in time #wolfstar

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nothingeverlost · 3 years

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The One You’re Born into and the One You Find (Marauder Era HP fic)

Thing I was not planning to do this week: write 10,000 words about Sirius Black. He’s an insistent muse, though, so a little drabble about him and Andromeda talking as now a full blown fic about the time Sirius ran away from home.

Summery: Sirius runs away and finds out something about home.

Warnings for references to abuse/torture.

It’s two days before Christmas when Sirius Black leaves Grimmauld Place for the last time. His first impulse is to go to the Potter home, but he can’t, not with his mother’s voice in his head, the threats and ugly things she’s said. He can’t risk that she might follow through with her promises. It’s not safe. Besides, James would owl Peter and Remus, and he needs to keep them safe too.

Perhaps it would be best to take a room above the Three Broomsticks, but after a week of cold silence from his family he can’t take any more isolation. There’s only one place he can think of to go.

“Sirius?” Warm light floods the front stoop when the door opens. In the doorway stands his cousin, the only person that might understand what it means to be a disinherited Black.

“You wouldn’t happen to have a sofa I could crash on for a day or two, would you ‘Dromeda?” They’ve barely talked in years; the last time was the summer before Fifth year when they both happened to be at Diagon Alley. He’d been with his friends, his parents not wanting to be seen with their son who was buying a new Gryffindor uniform, ‘Dromda with her husband. He’d been eight when she’d been struck off the family tree, but she would always be his favorite cousin. His only cousin, now.

“Nonsense. You’ll take the guest room. I hope your silencing charms are up to par; our Nymphadora is an early riser.” She holds the door open wide for him, enough so he can levitate his trunk into the house. He’s not sure about accepting the room, though.

“Mother is going to be angry if she finds out you took me in. I really only need a day or two so I can figure things out.” He needs a lot more than a couple of days but he wasn’t about to ask for more. It isn’t fair to her.

“Auntie has been angry with me for almost a decade now. I’m a blood traitor, after all. It doesn’t get much worse than marrying a muggle-born. You’ll stay as long as you need.” Andromeda doesn’t roll her eyes, she wouldn’t stoop to something so immature, but Sirius can almost see it anyway. “Now shut the door behind you and come into the kitchen. Ted is cleaning up but there’s plenty of leftovers and I’m sure you’re hungry. Left before dinner, didn’t you?”

“During, but I didn’t eat anything.” There had been company, people that made Sirius’s skin crawl. His father had spoken so casually of his son joining The Cause, only debating if he should wait to finish his education or begin during the coming summer. Perhaps, Orion Balck had speculated, his position in Gryffindor could end up being a blessing in disguise. No one would expect a Death Eater under the scarlet and gold robes.

“You’re in luck. Ted made his beef stew and it’s just the thing for a cold evening like this.” She doesn’t say, but they both understand, that ‘cold’ refers to more than the weather. “Ted, my love, we’ve company.”

“Cousin Sirius, what a treat. Welcome.” Sirius is surprised by the warm welcome and the following hug. Perhaps he shouldn’t be; Ted Tonks is a muggle and a Hufflepuff, after all, but the only person he knows who is so open is James.

“Do you mind reheating some of your stew, Ted? Siri hasn’t had dinner. I’ll put Dora to bed.”

“Her hair is pink.” Sirius has almost forgotten that there was a kid. His family doesn’t acknowledge the marriage let alone the child, and kids aren’t really his thing. He can’t remember the last time he’s seen a kid younger than eleven. Andromeda’s daughter is a lot smaller than a first year. Not as shy as they were either, as she climbs up on a chair to get a better look at the stranger in her house.

“Play?’ Sirius is pretty sure the tips of her hair darkened.

“Nymphadora, this is your cousin Sirius. You can play with him tomorrow but now it’s time for bed.”

“See-us.” The little girl wrinkles up her nose as she tests out the name. “See-e-us.”

“My friends call me Padfoot sometimes.” It might be easier to say. No one in his family considered easy names, it seemed. Not ever his cousin. Nymphadora, really?

“Padfoot play?” She spreads her arms and jumps, leaving Sirius with no choice but to catch her. She is a little thing, with less force than a bludger, but she squirms a lot.

“Tomorrow,” Andromeda says firmly, helping to free Sirius from arms that seemed to be longer than they should be. “I’ll be back down after storytime, Sirius. Don’t worry about your trunk, I’ll take it up to your room. Ted will show you where the drinks are. There might even be a bit of firewhiskey to add to the butterbeer.”

His mother would be horrified to see him eating in the kitchen like a common person or a house elf. The Tonks kitchen is a warm and comfortable room, though, and Sirius is glad to sit with Ted, who is keeping an eye on the cleaning charms. They share a drink and Sirius empties a bowl of stew and accepts the second helping Ted gives him It wasn’t like the food was bad at Grimmauld Place; it was the company that robbed him of his appetite. He is too used to laughter and teasing and camaraderie as he eats with his mates at school, and out of practice choking down food under his mother’s sour expression and his father’s ranting.

“I’m sorry to spring this on you, Ted.” He is halfway through his second bowl when he finally looks up at his companion. He doesn’t know much about the man, other than the fact he was muggle-born, a Hufflepuff, and married to his cousin.

“Nonsense, you’re family. It’s a rare treat for Andi to get to have family around. You know what it’s like.” Ted frowns.

“She’s lucky she got out when she did.” Just this past summer the engagement between Cisssa and Malfoy had been announced. The only good thing Sirius could say is that he wasn’t quite as disgusting as Bella’s husband. The talk of pure blood had gotten worse at family dinners and words like ‘cleanse’ and ‘purify’ were tossed around more. “They don’t bother you, do they?”

“Ignore us completely, which is probably for the best. It’s not easy on Andi when we run into any of them in public, though. We saw Narcissa when we were at Gringotts last and she wouldn’t even look at our Dora. I don’t think Bellatrix has even seen her.”

“Best to keep it that way. She’s gone mental. More mental than she used to be. And her husband…” Sirius bites his tongue to keep from saying more. He didn’t need to talk about Rabistan LeStrange. Didn’t need to think about him, or what he was capable of. One time alone with the man had been one time too many; he still had bruises on his arm from their ‘conversation’ three days ago. “If you’re lucky they’ll forget about you completely.”

“Your turn, Ted. Dora’s tucked in and ready for her story.” Sirius is almost done with his second bowl of stew when Andromeda comes down, turning off the water in the sink as the last of the dishes dry themselves. She settles into the seat her husband had occupied moments ago. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“What’s the point? It’s over and I’m never going back. I’ve probably been blasted off that damn tapestry already.” It had been his mother’s last threat as he’d left as if the worst thing that could happen was being disowned by the family that hated not only him but everything he cared about.

“Walking away from family isn’t that easy. I know.” For a moment she looks lost in memories before shaking her head.

“Family doesn’t…” Sirius clenches his hands around the edge of the table. He doesn’t talk about the things that happened in his home, not even to James. Andromeda would understand more than anyone else, but that doesn’t make it easier to speak. “They’re not my family. I have James and Remus and Peter.”

“You have me and Ted too.” Andromeda reaches across the table and covers one of his hands with her own. “It’s two more weeks until term starts. You’ll stay here and we can take you to the train.”

“I wasn’t planning on staying that long.” He hasn’t planned anything but thought perhaps he might be able to leave for school sooner. Hogwarts would be safe.

“You’re staying. It’s Christmas, Sirius. And if you’re worried about earning your keep you don’t have to worry. Dora will adore having a new friend and you can pay us back in imaginary tea parties.”

Exhausted, Sirius falls asleep almost the moment he turns off the light in the guest bedroom. It doesn’t last; a few hours later he comes awake abruptly, gasping his way out of a dream. He fumbles for his wand, casting a ‘Lumos’ as he sits up. He needs to be sure he doesn’t fall asleep again, not while the dream slithers inside his mind.

He barely noticed the bedroom when his cousin had escorted him up, beyond noting that his trunk was under the window. Everything he owned was in his trunk, and he only had that much because he’d never unpacked it when he’d gotten home for winter hols. He’d gone up, grabbed it and his broom, and had been heading for the front door before anyone could stop him. There hadn’t been any time to get Freddie, his owl, from the family owlery. He hoped his mother didn’t take out any of her anger on poor Freddie.

The room, now that he can focus better, is as different as it was possible to be from the bedroom he’d abandon hours ago. Instead of grey walls and antique furniture that had been passed down for generations, the walls were painted a pale yellow and the bed was new. The quilt he’d been sleeping under seemed handmade, a patchwork of mismatched colors that would never earn his mother’s approval. On the wall across from the bed is a painting of the shore, waves gently lapping at the sand. It reminds him of a trip he’d taken with the Potters the summer between fourth and fifth years; Remus had joined them as well, though Peter hadn’t been allowed to come. It wasn’t home - the only home he knew being his dorm at Hogwarts - but it was a cheerful and cozy space.

He hoped his presence didn’t make it an unsafe place. While his mother had been the loudest with her threats it was harder to guess what recourse his father might take. Or his father’s friends. He would run again if he needed to. Sirius resolved not to unpack his trunk in case any threats were made. If anyone in his family so much as sent an owl he’d be off.

It’s dark outside his bedroom window, enough that he can’t make out anything in the back garden. The moon wasn’t much more than a sliver, which was good. It would be two weeks until Remus would need him. If he was still with Andromeda and Ted by then he could make an excuse for going back to school early. Until then he would lie low and hope that his family decided he was no longer worth any of their time.

After an hour of trying to go back to sleep, Sirius transforms and curls up at the foot of the bed. Sometimes it is easier to sleep for a few hours as Padfoot; he would just have to hope his cousin didn’t ask about the black fur.

Someone is trying to suffocate him. His mouth is covered, his lungs straining for want of oxygen. He can hear Bella’s laughter and see the cold steel of his mother’s eyes. Behind her, Regulus looked ill.

“Ge-off,” Sirius struggles to open his mouth, to take in a breath, and almost chokes on a piece of bacon. He blinks and opens his eyes to find that he isn’t in Grimmauld Place. He’s in Andromeda’s guest room, and he is chewing on a piece of bacon.

“Breakfast.” Nymphadora’s hair is blue this morning and she is holding out a piece of bacon between two chubby fingers. “Welcome.”

“Thank you?” He can’t think of anything else to say. Waking up to find a kid staring at him is odd, but it was a million times better than anything that had happened the day before.

“Dora, where are you?” The door to the hallway is open; apparently the kid was old enough to open doors because Sirius had closed it the night before. He can’t sleep when a door is open, it felt too vulnerable. At home he locked the door, even knowing that wouldn’t really stop anyone. At school he was grateful for the curtains around the bed. Here the door was now open and Ted was coming in, shaking his head. “Sorry about that, mate. Did she wake you?”

“I’d rather be awake.” Memories weren’t quite as bad as dreams.

“Breakfast is ready if you’d like to join us, I promise you can eat at your own pace, and not worry about this little scamp trying to feed you more. You’re lucky it was just bacon. She might have decided you were thirsty.” Ted grins, an easy expression that reminds him a little of James. His best friend’s smile comes easily too. Sirius wonders if Ted’s parents were also as wonderful as the Potters.

“I’ll be down in a minute.” He’s only slept in his pants and waits until Ted had scooped up his daughter and taken her out of the room, closing the door behind him, before getting out of bed so he could dress.

Breakfast was as good as any meal he’d had at Hogwarts. Ted, apparently, did all the cooking in the family. His cousin had learned as much cooking as he had, which meant nothing at all. Pureblood snobs were supposed to have house elves to tend to their needs, rather than actually learning anything practical. Ted cooked the muggle way, and his scones were good enough that Sirius had three. He eats some bacon too, as well as quiche.

His plan for the day is to hole up in the guest room. It was Christmas Eve and he didn’t want to interfere with the holiday for his cousin’s family. Christmas wasn’t a big deal anyway; he loves the traditions he shares with his friends before the holidays but generally spent the day itself being miserable. Andromeda has other ideas.

Once breakfast is over and the dishes are put away she pulls out flour, butter, sugar, eggs, and a mass of sprinkles. Sirius somehow finds himself rolling out dough and cutting out cookies, often with the ‘help’ of Dora. Once the first batch cooled he is in charge of frosting while Dora added three times as many sprinkles as anyone would call normal. Somehow there was frosting in his hair and he is certain that his fingers would be red and green for longer than they were the last time he’d ‘accidentally’ snuck dye into James’s shampoo, but it is the most fun he’s had on a Christmas Eve in years. When he makes one of the frosted snowmen dance across the table Dora laughs and then viciously bites his head off. It was then that Andromeda decides it is time for Dora’s nap.

While Andromeda is putting her daughter down for a nap Sirius takes the opportunity to escape. No matter what they say Ted and Andromeda deserved to have at least part of the day to themselves, and he can use a walk. When staying with his parents long walks were about the only thing that kept him sane. The walls of his childhood home were oppressive on the best of days. Dangerous on the worst. His cousin’s house was nowhere near the old neighborhood where his parents live, but the moment he’s gone a few blocks from the house he realizes how exposed he is. If anyone sees him it wouldn’t be hard to make the connection to the Tonks family. On his own he doesn’t have anyone to watch his back and it would be easy enough for a couple of people to drag him home. Would his father have any interest in forcing him home? Making him bow and scrape, making him swear an oath of fidelity?

“I’m not going back there,” he swears to himself, walking faster. He looks at each alley he passes, half expecting to see someone he should fear, half looking for a plan of escape. All he would need was a moment out of sight; no one would know to look for Padfoot once he transformed.

“Sirius?” At the sound of his name he turns, wand already raised and a disarming spell on his lips.

“Thought that was you.” Frank Longbottom looks curiously at his wand but shrugs. “Don’t usually see you on this side of town, mate. Enjoying your holiday?”

“It’s alright. Just stopped by to see a friend,” he lies. Fortunately, he has a lot of practice at lying. Frank is a nice enough sort, a year ahead of him in school. Rumor was he was all set for the Auror program after graduation. That didn’t mean that Sirius was about to trust him completely. He didn’t trust anyone completely except the Mauraders.

“Alice lives around the corner. We had lunch with the family. Her dad has to warm to me eventually, or at least that’s the hope. Not so pleased about the half muggle status, that one.”

“Screw him,” Sirius growls with more force than he meant. He is so tired of the hate against muggle-borns, half muggles, and his most hated word, ‘half breeds.’ His father was of the opinion that the only good werewolf was either a dead one or a vicious pet, and had talked at length during Tuesday night’s dinner about a need for more regulations to protect against monsters. His father’s definition of a monster is very different from his own.

“It’s important to Alice.” Frank was so mild-mannered it was sometimes a surprise that he was a Gryffindor. Then again Pete was pretty affable too. He’d seen Frank’s reaction, though, when a Slytherin was scaring a first-year Hufflepuff. Frank hadn’t been mild-mannered then. “He’s not a bad bloke, just set in his ways. Not like, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” Not like his family or the loony bin they kept marrying into. Still, he had no patience for any of it. It didn’t matter if he’d never met Mr. Fortesque, he already didn’t like the man.

They walk a bit farther, not talking of anything important until they reached a row of muggle shops and Sirius mentions stopping to pick out some gifts.

“A bit last minute, aren’t you Sirius?” Frank teases.

“Same way I get my essays done,” he says with a shrug. The truth is he spent as much time plotting his gifts as he did some of his most elaborate pranks, and he’d gotten gifts for his fellow Marauders before school had even started. Other than sending something to James’s parents they were the only gifts he had to worry about. Even in better days his parents had not held with gifts for Christmas. He’d be a prat if he didn’t at least have something under the tree for his cousins this year, though. Fortunately he still had some muggle money from a trip to muggle London he and James had gone on during the summer.

He returns to Andromeda’s an hour later with a cookbook for Ted by a muggle named Julia Childs that the shopkeep had assured him anyone who liked cooking would enjoy and a stuffed dog for the sprog. It was black and not unlike his own secret form, which amused him. His cousin was harder, but when he’d walked past an antique shop he’d found a little painting of an owl. It looked like the one Andromeda had when she was a girl; Sirius could remember visiting and seeing his cousin petting the bird, whispering to it softly. Bella had rolled her eyes. It was a muggle painting so it didn’t move, but Sirius thought Andromeda might at least appreciate the sentiment.

“Sirius Black what do you mean by vanishing for hours without even saying that you’re leaving?” Andromeda is every inch a Black when she appears in the hall just moments after he enters the house. Her jaw is firmly set, chin lifted at just the right angle to make it feel like she looked down her nose at him despite being half a head shorter. For a moment he is reminded of her mother, and then his own.

Shite.

“I thought you could use some time without an intruder around. Christmas Eve traditions and all that.” It had started snowing as he’d walked back from the shops. Sirius tries to distract himself by brushing the snow off one shoulder. Regulus had given him the same look that Andromeda was giving him now, just a few days ago when he’d said the only right side of any fight was standing against everything the family stood for.

“Great. Lovely. So I guess if my sister’s friends had seen you and decided to hex you into the new year it wouldn’t have mattered to me because at least I had a nice afternoon away from my ungrateful little cousin?” She glares at him in a way he hadn’t seen since he’d been seven and had used the essay she’d left in the study to make paper airplanes that had magically flown themselves.

“I wouldn’t tell anyone you let me stay here.” He’s had enough experience with Cruciatus to know that he would be able to keep at least that secret.

“You think that’s what concerns me?” she asks incredulously before her crossed arms fall to her side and she deflates. “Merlin, they did a number on us, didn’t they? Our family. Toujours pur but jamais fidèle. I was worried about you, Siri. You haven’t told me what happened but I know enough the guess. I’m not totally unaware of what’s happening with my sisters and their social circle.”

“I know how to take care of myself.” For a moment he hears the shadow of another argument, weeks earlier with Remus. They had been fighting about the full moon and returning to school early so they could be there for him. He tells himself it’s not the same thing.

“Of course you do. Another lesson we learned well.” Andromeda takes a step forward and brushes the snow off his other shoulder. “I know family is a pretty complicated word for both of us but you are my family Sirius. I care what happens to you.”

“Does it ever get easier?” He wants to ask if he would always hate them this much. If he would always carry around the hard ball of anger that sometimes threatened to choke him. Would he always feel the guilt in leaving Reggie behind, not even trying to stop him from becoming the son his father wanted? Would he ever stop mourning the family he never had? He has a hundred questions but doubts there are really any answers.

“I remember when I heard you’d been sorted into Griffindor. Auntie was so angry. There was talk of sending you to Durmstrang, but they decided against it because of the way it might look. The first time I saw you that winter you were in Zonko’s with your mate James, and you were laughing. I don’t know how you’d gotten permission to be there without your parents but you looked so happy. I knew then that the sorting hat had changed something that couldn’t be changed back. I think it’s already better. It doesn’t go away, we can’t change where we came from, but it’s better than what could have been.”

“I remember that trip. Mum thought the Potter connection could be useful.” The Potters were purebloods, and rich, but in every other way as different from the Blacks as it was possible to be. “You brought us ice creams after the joke shop.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to do that more often.”

“Mum would have hated knowing we spent any time together.” He’d missed his cousin, but there had always been an extra thrill knowing his mother would disapprove. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left without saying anything.”

“You’re wanted here, alright?” They don’t hug, not in their family, but Sirus has learned it from his mates and Andromeda from her husband. It is a quick hug, but heartfelt. Afterwards Sirius drops his packages off under the tree and finds that on the mantle there was now a fourth stocking, one with his name on it.

Christmas is a quiet day, or as quiet as it can be when a three-year-old has a newly acquired broom that hovers a foot off the floor. The stuffed dog he’s picked out, who somehow has been dubbed ‘Spot’ despite being solid black, has a place of honor on the broom and only falls off six times. The snow from the night before has left a fresh powder on the ground, and the afternoon is spent building a snowman that briefly joins them in an animated game of tag thanks to some clever wand work from Andromeda.

To say it is the best Christmas Day he’s ever had isn’t saying a lot, considering what Christmas is like in his family. It is more than a good Christmas, it is a good day. When he watches Dora feed her stuffed dog invisible hot chocolate he can’t help wondering what it would have been to grow up in a family that saw children as something other than an obligation to continue the family line.

“Would you care for a cup of chocolate that’s not invisible?” Andromeda asks once her daughter’s attention is drawn away from their ‘tea’ party. Ted is giving her hippogriff rides.

“Yeah.” He follows her into the kitchen, leaning against the counter while she melts a bar of Honeyduke’s finest into simmering milk. Moony would approve.

“I remember getting my first broom.” His hadn’t been a toy. His parents didn’t believe in toys.

“If memory serves you were six, and the first thing you did was try to stand up on it.” Andromeda laughs as she stirs the chocolate, adding vanilla and a pinch of salt.

“They locked it up for a month after that, until I could promise to be more respectful.” He’d only learned to be more careful, waiting until he was out of view before practicing loops and dives and quidditch moves. It had been his first taste of freedom.

“Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t met Ted. Would I have ever defied the family or would I just have accepted it as my lot? But I never wondered about you, Sirius. Worried, but never doubted that you were meant for something else.”

“You never would have stayed. You’re too good for them.”

The letter comes during breakfast on boxing day. Sirius is so focused on the red envelope that he doesn’t notice the owl at all. He’s been expecting at least a letter for three days now, and his only thought is to snatch the letter and get up to his room before it explodes in his mother’s amplified and shrill voice. No one else needs to hear the hate in her voice.

He is too slow, or the letter is faster than usual. He’s barely taken it from the owl and stood from his chair when it begins to shake. It grows in size, shaking and looking like a firework about to explode before it bursts open.

SIRIUS ORION BLACK YOU GREAT GIT WHERE THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU?

It takes Sirius a moment to realize that the shooting that fills the small kitchen is not his mother, but his best friend.

YOU HAVE NOT ANSWERED MY OWLS FOR THREE DAYS. I EVEN TRIED FLOOING TO YOUR HOUSE BUT THAT CREEPY HOUSE ELF OF YOUR MOTHER’S ONLY SAID THAT HER MISTRESS HAD GOTTEN RID OF YOU. I’M WORRIED PADFOOT. MUM AND DAD ARE WORRIED. RUMUS SENT ME AN OWL BECAUSE HE THOUGHT MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY GOING TO YOUR HOUSE TO SEE YOU.

“No.” Sirius stares in horror at the envelope as if it can hear him. Remus can’t go anywhere near Grimmauld Place. He’s only let James come once and that was bad enough but at least James comes from a wizarding family almost as old as the Blacks.

RUMUS IS STRESSED ABOUT YOU AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE’S LIKE WHEN HE’S STRESSED. IF WE DON’T HERE FROM YOU IN AN HOUR I AM SENDING HIM AN OWL BACK AND WE ARE GOING TO MAKE A PLAN.

A moment later the howler tears itself to pieces, the confetti burning like ash. The only thing left was the echo in his ears.

“I can’t let Remus go to Grimmauld Place.” He looks at Andromeda.

“Bloody git.” Dora waves a bit of pancake around on the end of her fork, apparently amused by the howler. “Great bloody git.”

“Those are not words for little girls, my love. They’re words for grown-ups who have to deal with problems.” Ted reaches over and picks Dora up from her seat, balancing her on his knee and distracting her with a floating grape. Sirius knows he should probably apologize, but all he can think about is Remus showing up at his parents’ door and them somehow seeing in an instant what it took him two years to figure out.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for any of your friends, but at least if they’re looking for you it rules them out as anyone who knows where you are. It might protect them in the long run.” Andromeda stirs her tea carefully. “Remus is the quieter lad, isn’t he? The one with the nice manners.”

Sirius nods, afraid to open his mouth and say anything about Remus, afraid he might say too much and spill secrets that aren’t his to tell. It has taken months to recover from the Snape Incident. All he knows is that he has to stop any of his friends, but Remus especially, from confronting his parents. The things the Black Family would do if they knew they had a werewolf in their home were unspeakable. “I need to borrow your floo.”

“The floo powder is on the mantle where the stockings were. You’ll let me know if you’re not home for dinner, won’t you?” Sirius nods his promise.

“Your friends are welcome to tea. We’re having bangers and mash,” Ted adds supportively as Sirius carries his dishes to the sink.

“Padfoot play?” Dora asks as he leaves the kitchen. He hopes she won’t be too upset that he’s ignored her request.

A minute later he is in the Potters’ library, startling Fleamont Potter from his post-breakfast nap. A newspaper half covers his face but he pushes it away as he sits up. “Sirius my lad, what a relief. James will feel so much better when he sees you. Last I checked he was pacing the front hall.”

“I’ll go find him.” At least he hadn’t dashed off and done anything stupid; that was Sirius’s job. He doesn’t have far to go far; after walking through the library door he is tackled and might have fallen if he wasn’t so used to the surprise attacks of James Potter. This one involved a hug he couldn’t have escaped if he wanted to. He doesn’t want to.

“If I wasn’t so happy to see you Padfoot I’d punch you and then lock you in a small dark room. Where have you been?” James’ hair was messier than usual, standing on end where he tugged on it when he was nervous or frustrated. The fact that he was wearing shoes was alarming; when he was at home his feet were always bare, so he really was planning on going somewhere. Sirius hates thinking about where that place might have been.

“I’m alright, Prongs.” There is no person on the entire earth that he trusts more than James Potter. His reluctance to mention his cousin was not out of worry.

“Not one peep yesterday from you. Even first year you popped in to say Merry Christmas and last year you came for almost two hours after you got yourself kicked out of dinner. I kept my mirror with me all day yesterday and nothing from you. When I popped into your kitchen the house-elf said…”

“I left.” He shrugs as if it doesn’t mean anything.

“What do you mean, you left? Left the house on Christmas? Can’t imagine that made your mum happy.”

“I left a couple of days ago, actually, and I don’t give a toss what my mother thinks.” He looks down at his shoes, noticing that there was a scuff mark on the left one. “I’m not going back there.”

“What did they do?” His best friend’s voice sounds like fire. Sirius knows that James would go to war against the whole Black family without a single hesitation if he thought that they had hurt Sirius. It is the reason he keeps the worst stories to himself, to protect James. Remus knows more, whispered confidences in the black of night when neither of them can sleep. After all, Remus has his own monsters and knows something about enemies being bred into your blood.

“I’m not going to be one of them, and hate who they tell me to hate, and fight who they tell me to fight.” Rudolphus and Bella have matching tattoos on their arm. At first he’d thought they were a warped couple sort of thing, but then he’d seen the same mark on Narcissa’s finance, and the slithering edge of black ink on his father’s arm when his sleeve hitched up a little.

“Of course you’re not.” James smiles a little, just for a moment, before the smile fades. “Hold up, you said days ago. Where have you been since you left? Pete would have said if you’d been at his place and I know you haven’t seen Remus. Please tell me you haven’t done anything naff like sleep on a bench or take a room at Three Broomsticks.”

“I need to lie low for a bit. I am somewhere safe, I promise.” His mother’s threats ring in his ear, promising that no one that dared offer him sanctuary would be safe.

“You’re safe here.” James snakes a hand around his wrist, dragging him towards the back of the house. “Mum,” he shouts.

“It’s not about my safety.” When the kitchen proves empty James pulls him to the backdoor, through the snowy yard to the greenhouse that is always warm and humid no matter the weather. In the center of the space is a pond where lotus float. Euphemia Potter is kneeling beside her herb bed.

“Mum, Sirius showed up finally and he’s run away from home so he needs a place to stay. He can have the room next to mine, right? Dad can figure out how to handle the guardian stuff so you can sign his school papers and..”

“Prongs, stop. I just came so you didn’t do anything stupid like go to Grimmauld Place. I’m not staying.”

“Don’t be stupid, Pads, of course you’re staying. Right mum?”

“This is always your home, Sirius.” She stands with a grace that his own mother would never be able to emulate, no matter how many centuries of ‘good breeding’ have gone into molding her. Deep purple and gold robes flow around her. Indoors she’s just as apt as her son to have bare feet, but in the garden she wears leather sandals. “Monty and I have been worried about you, dear. It’s good to see that you’re safe.”

“I’m sorry for making you worry.” The last thing he wants to do is worry his friends or the Potters who are always so kind to him. Without the Potters he wouldn’t know what a real family is supposed to look like, or how lacking his own family really was.

“A mother always worries about her children.” When she touches his arm Sirius has to fight to remain stoic, torn between the wanting to break down and wanting to make a bitter comment that some mothers want nothing more than to eat their own young.

“See, Pads? Mum said you’re staying. Dad will agree and that’s everything sorted. The family barrister can send papers to your…”

“No.” If he lets himself listen to any more it will sound too much like a dream and not having it will hurt all the more. “You’re not listening to me, Jamie. I will see you in two weeks when we go back for term. I need you to let Remus know that I’m safe and that he’s not to go to my parents’ house under any circumstances ever. Let him know that I’ll be at school on Wednesday morning like I promised, okay?”

“Tell him yourself, Pads. You haven’t forgotten how to write a letter in the last week have you?” James stands between him and the door to the greenhouse, arms crossed and ready for a fight. “No, but I don’t have a way to send a letter. I couldn’t bring Freddie with me when I left.” Damn it, he misses his owl. It is the least of his problems, and it’sjust a stupid owl that he ignores too often when he is at school, but when he is home visiting the owlery is often the only good part of his day. No one in his family would deign to sit amoung the birds.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” James sighs. “I’ll write Remus, okay? Or you write to him and use one of our owls. He’s sent me three letters since yesterday and seeing the scrawl you call penmanship would probably do him good.”

“I’ll write to him before I go, alright?”

“Sure, as long as you mean that you’re going to go get your trunk so you can bring it back here. I was thinking we could transform the closet between our rooms into a lounge, maybe with a foosball table or something. Mum’s brill at things like that.”

“Damn it, Prongs, you’re not listening to me.”

“I’m listening, I’m just ignoring you being a dense pratt. This is your home.”

“My mother…”

“Your mother is a miserable bitch and you’re well rid of her. You can share my mum with me, she always wanted more kids and she and dad both love you.” James speaks with the confidence of someone who has always been certain of his place.

“You don’t understand, James. The things she would do if she found out you’d taken me in. The things she might set in motion. My family is full of fucking Death Eaters. My cousin...” But he doesn’t want to think about Bella and what she could do. What she’d hinted that she’d already done, the snake of her tattoo slithering around her wrist. He knew what she could do to someone she wanted as an ally, the echo of pain still in his bones as she tried to make him agree. The war was coming so much quicker than he’d realized. He would protect the people he cared about as long as he could.

“We keep each other safe, just like we’ve always done, Pads.”

“This isn’t trying to get out of detention when a prank goes wrong. I’m not going to risk any of my family coming after the people I care about.” He could still see, too clearly, the look in Moony’s eyes when he realized how close he’d come to attacking Snape on a full moon. If anything had happens Remus would be the one to suffer and it would have been his fault. He couldn’t let it be his fault again.

“So instead I’m supposed to just stand by and hope you’re okay? Do you know what it would do to me if anything happened to you?” James tugs on his hair.

“I’ll see you in two weeks, alright?”

“Padfoot…”

“It’s better if you don’t know where I am.” He’s been seventeen for almost two months, but won’t take his apparating test until spring like any other student. That doesn’t stop him from disapparating, but it did mean that he is a block away from Andromeda’s, instead of in her backyard, when he reappeared. It takes him a moment to get his bearings and to find his way to the house. By the time he does he’s shaking, and collapses on the back porch, using the last of his energy to change into Padfoot.

“Puppy.” He wakes to find Dora stroking his fur enthusiastically, Ted and Andromeda watching with varying looks of caution and amusement. Because it seems like the simplest option he spends an hour fetching sticks and racing through the snow, decimating the snowman they had made the day before and chomping on snowballs. When a cat crosses the back fence he doesn’t resist the urge to chase it; James has often remarked that if they ever came across McGonagall in her animagi form there would be some serious explaining to do. Chasing professors was not a good idea even if they were a cat at the time.

When it starts to get dark outside Ted tries to lure him in with the promise of something to eat, but he refuses. As tempting as it is to see if they would talk about him in his absence, it wasn’t fair and Andromeda would worry if he wasn’t back for tea. He’d promised, after all. Sirius slinks around the corner, waiting until he is sure everyone is inside the house before turning back. His jeans are soaked and his mouth is freezing from the snow he’s eaten, but an hour of running around and a nap have done him some good. He is able to walk into the house without feeling like the world is completely falling apart.

“Anyone with you?” Ted asks, poking his head out of the kitchen. Sirius shakes his head.

“Padfoot play?” Dora asks, her hair the same black color as his own. She’d changed it when they were playing outside, ironically wanting to match the dog.

“It’s bathtime, remember? And I’m sure Sirius is wanting a hot shower, considering the look of him.” Andromeda gives him the same speculative look she’d given a dog an hour ago until she was convinced that her daughter was safe playing with the mutt. “Your friend’s alright?”

“I think he’s mad at me.” James wasn’t mad, not really, but it was easier than saying that he was hurt by the secrets he wouldn’t share. He and James shared almost everything. “I’m going to go take that shower now.”

“I’ll let Ted know to start a kettle; you look like you could use some warming up from the inside too.”

The next morning he lets himself sleep in, and is still in his pajamas just before noon, making himself a bacon sandwich with leftovers from the breakfast he’d skipped. He’s just taken his first bite when someone knocks on the front door and Ted calls for him.

“See? I told you this was the logical place.” When Ted steps back Sirius can see a grinning James Potter in the doorway, a Gryffindor scarf wrapped around his neck. Beside him is Remus, not dressed nearly warm enough for the day. Crowded on the back of the porch is Peter.

“Yes, but ‘Padfoot’ and ‘logical’ aren’t usually things we say together.” Moony has a crease line between his eyebrows, looking Sirius over. He tries to smile, but it is a small one, his attempt at a joke falling flat. Sirius can almost feel the worry vibrating from him.

“If Sirius is trying to lay low maybe we shouldn’t be standing out here where anyone can see us?” From the way James steps forward suddenly it was clear that Pete had given him a friendly shove. Ted is smart enough to take a couple of steps backward, clearing the way for three-fourths of the Marauders to invade his home.

Sirius says the only thing that came to mind. “What the fuck?”

“I sent an owl to Remus. He agrees you’re being stupid.” James aims a drying spell at his feet.

“That’s not what I said, Prong. Don’t put words in my mouth.” The gloves Remus takes off look new, probably a Christmas gift from his parents. They were practical souls, and most of Moony’s gifts from them are the sort of things that Sirius takes for granted. He knows that new quills and gloves are not so easy to come by in the Lupin household, though. “I said I didn’t like the idea of you without anyone to watch your back.”

“I agreed with James about you being a git.” Peter grins. Ted closes the door behind him.

“Gee, thanks Pete.”

“You’re Ted, right? Nice to meet you. I’m James and I’m just here to relieve you of this annoying houseguest of yours. His bedroom is all ready for him.” James shakes Ted’s hand when it’s offered.

“Sorry about the invasion, Mr. Tonks, only Sirius does seem to need reminding about a promise he made. We’ll be out of your hair once we knock some sense into him.” Remus looks at him very carefully, and Sirius can almost read his mind. He can see the bonfire they’d had the first summer they’d been together, could hear the vow they’d made to always have each other’s backs. Marauders forever.

“Stay as long as you like, boys. I have some biscuits in the oven that will be ready in a little while, so when you’re ready come down for a snack,” Ted offers as he shakes hands with Remus and then Peter.

“Fresh baked biscuits? Maybe Padfoot does know what he’s on about, staying here.” Peter licked his lips. He’d been the one, second year, to figure out the secret of the ticklish pear that lead into the kitchens. The house elves loved him.

“I’ll take this lot upstairs so we don’t bother you.” He gives his friends a pointed look and heads up the stairs, trying not to think about the fact that the bedroom he’d been using suddenly feels so much more like home when all four of them are crowded inside. Remus is the one to cast a silencing charm, meaning he doesn’t have to keep his voice down when he speaks. “Damn it, Prongs, what part of our conversation yesterday didn’t you understand?”

“The part where you seemed to suddenly forget the last six years and think you’re a lone wolf like that prat first year who wouldn’t talk to anyone for the first week of school. No offense meant, Remus.”

“None taken,” Remus shrugs, sitting down on the trunk under the window. Peter has already sprawled out on the bed. James was pacing, like he often did when he was plotting a prank or coming up with wild schemes to get Evans to date him.

“It’s not the same.” He’d been terrified that first week after the hat had sorted him into what he’d considered the wrong house. His mother had sent him three howlers the first two days, and he knew that Dumbledore had gotten a howler as well. He’d never asked McGonagall if she’d gotten one; it was too embarrassing to even contemplate. He hadn’t wanted to get to know the boys he shared a room with, not when he was going to be moved in a matter of days. Surely someone would realize that he couldn’t be a Griffindor. Blacks were always in Slytherin.

He’d been scared of his family then, and he was scared of his family now. Maybe it wasn’t so different, but the threat of his family was worse than it had been six years ago, or maybe he was finally understanding just what the Black name meant. “It‘s not safe.”

“Neither was spending two years learning to be an animagus so you could spend full moons chasing after a werewolf.” Remus rubs a scar on his forearm that Sirius swears is fading a little every year. The fact that he hadn’t gotten a new scar in over a year is a victory that Sirius privately celebrated every morning after a moon.

“That’s different.”

“How?” Remus stares at him until he has to look away.

“So Wormy, how long do you think we can hang around the Tonks place before they kick us all out?” James plonks down on the bed.

“Well they’ve already put up with Padfoot for four or five days so their tolerance is pretty high. Might be able to stretch it a couple of days. A week at least if we find some chores to help with. Longer if everyone remembers to shower.” Peter glances at the door. “You think those biscuits are ready?”

“We could go check and let the man of the house know we’ll be crashing here for a bit.” James heads for the door, breaking the silencing charm as he opens it. Peter is swift to follow.

“Moony.” Sirius looks at him, hoping that he at least will understand. Moony, he thinks, understands what’s coming with the war more than the rest of the group. He knows at least some of what a family like the Blacks can do.

“We’re not leaving you alone, Sirius, no matter the risk. You’re ours.” Remus squeezes his hand as they stand in the doorway. “It’s going to be okay, Pads. We’ll figure this out the way we always do. Together.”

Sirius thinks maybe he’d like to stand in the doorway for a while, the warmth of Moony’s hand in his, but everyone else is downstairs and he still has to find a way to convince them all to go home.

“Puppy?” After she is done with her biscuit Dora slides off her chair and runs to the kitchen door.

“We can look, love.” Ted follows her, opening the door to reveal an empty back porch.

“No puppy,” Dora sighs, her lower lip sticking out. “Want puppy.”

“There was a stray dog in the yard yesterday. Dora quite enjoyed playing with him,” Andromeda explains to the boys at the table. “It was quite funny, actually. Sirius got her a stuffed animal for Christmas and the dog that showed up looked almost the same.”

“Black dogs are common enough,” Sirius comments, shooting a look across the table at James.

“Probably just a mutt,” Peter supplies helpfully, wincing when Sirius kicks him under the table.

“He’s probably in the doghouse now,” Remus arches one eyebrow as he looked sideways at Sirius. “He might not be very good at listening.”

“I hope he has a good home. He seemed to be such a nice dog.” Ted lures his daughter back to the table with another biscuit. She decides that Remus’s lap is where she wants to sit while eating it, and tugs at his sleeve until he picks her up.

“I’m sure he’s found a very nice home. Most dogs are clever enough to go where they know they’re loved.” James is smiling, most people might think he is making an idle comment but Sirius knows that look in his eyes. He was not playing fair.

“Maybe he’s not looking for a home right now, but is wandering for a bit.” Sirius looks across the table at James pointedly.

“He looked too well fed to be homeless, and despite the lack of collar he certainly wasn’t a matt. He had good pedigree, you could tell that by looking.” Andromeda, of course, has no idea of the second conversation that is happening right in front of her. Her comment is enough to makes James choke on his biscuit, though.

“He had pedigree, Sirius.”

“Sod off, Prongs.” He was going to give away at least one of their secrets if he wasn’t careful. Andromeda is clever, and while she’d been out of the family for years she’d been raised on subterfuge and lies.

“Prongs,” Dora repeats. Sirius is just glad that’s the part she has decided to mimic.

“We call him that because his head is pointed,” Sirius grouces. “Not much room for a brain up there.

“I got just as many OWLS as you did, you berk,” James fired back. It had been a matter of great amusement, the year before, that their score on their OWLS had been exactly the same. Peter had nearly tied them, but was short by one O. Remus had beat them all, of course, practically acing his exams. Only his potions score kept him from being perfect.

“I was having an off day.” He can’t keep from grinning, for a moment forgetting everything else as he slips into the familiar patter of fake insults. Almost two weeks without his friends has been a lonely experience.

“I swear I can’t take you two anywhere.” Remus rolls his eyes, breaking off a bit of his biscuit for the little girl on his lap. She seems enthralled with him, her dark hair lightening into an auburn. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Tonks, I’d say that they’re not always this bad but my mum taught me not to lie.”

“It’s Andromeda, please, and it’s good to see that Sirius has such support.”

“Whether he wants it or not.” James leans back in his chair and looks at the back door that leads to the yard. Sirius doesn’t like the look in his eye; his best mate is plotting something. “Speaking of, you don’t mind if we borrow a bit of your yard, do you? My parents have a tent we could borrow, don’t take up much space. We wouldn’t want to impose, and we can manage all our own food.”

“You’re not staying here.” For effect Sirius throws half of his biscuit at James’s head.

“Good, then you’ve decided to come home with me.” James calmly catches the treat and pops it in his mouth.

“James.”

“If you think this is the safest place of you then it’s safe enough for all of us,” Remus points out calmly. Sirius bites his lip hard enough to draw blood. He can’t argue the point without making it sound like he’s willing to put his cousin’s family in danger. He looks over at Andromeda, willing her to say something to derail the current conversation.

“I think a camp out in the backyard sounds like fun.” Sirius stares at her in shock. Damn it, that wasn’t what he was expecting.

“I’m sure they’re hoping you’ll join them.” Sirius looks away from the window, pretending he hasn’t been staring at the shadows around the campfire in the backyard. It’s dark enough that he can’t see much of their faces, but his mates are all sitting outside the tent and drinking bottles of butterbeer.

“They should be at home.” Remus actually enjoys spending time with his parents, and Peter seems happy enough to go home for the hols. James has the best parents it’s possible to have.

“They don’t seem to agree with you.” Andromeda sits on the edge of his trunk, her leg not quite touching his. “Ted wanted to come with me when I told mum and dad about being engaged. I wouldn’t let him, couldn’t trust that they wouldn’t lash out at him.”

“So you get it.” Their family is capable of a great measure of cruelty.

“I understand the fear and the desire to protect. I also know that the first place I went after I told them was to Ted’s flat and I didn’t leave for three days straight. I couldn’t bear to have him out of my sight. The first time I saw my sisters and they walked past me as if I didn’t exist he was the one that was holding my hand. When the only family member at my wedding was Uncle Alphard Ted promised that he would be my family until the day he died.”

“They’ve been my family since my first year at Hogwarts.” James was the first person to make him laugh, nine days into first term. Peter had snuck him food when the idea of going to dinner and facing a whole table of Slytherins whispering about him had been too much to handle. And Remus, who he’d judged as quiet and odd had hexed his cousin when she’d made a cruel comment in the hall. Since then they’d proven themselves a thousand times, while his blood family had only been belittling and hateful. “That’s why I have to protect them.”

“It seems like they have the same idea regarding you.” Andromeda looks out the window where the fire seems to be dwindling. The tent flap is open, a light burning inside. Last summer they’d taken the tent to the Quidditch World Cup. It had been brilliant. He and his friends had slept in bunk beds in one room while James’s parents had the second bedroom. Euphemia had painted mehndi designs on their hands that swirled in gold and green, proud that India had made it to the finals. Even Fleamont, who was secretly rooting for England, wore mehndi on his hands. “Something’s coming, Siri, and I know that’s frightening and it’s going to get bad. But I also know that turning our backs on everything good in our lives is exactly what the Black family would like to see. Your mother wants you to think you’re alone. To think that the only option you have is to be one of them.”

“I’ll never be one of them,” he swears fiercely.

“Of course you won’t.” Andromeda is full of surprises today; she kisses him on the forehead the same way he’s seen her kiss her daughter at bedtime, then gestures to the door. “You’re welcome here anytime you want, Sirius, but I think there’s somewhere else you’re supposed to be right now.”

“Yeah.” He’s not sure if this feeling of worry in his belly will ever leave him, or how long he’ll look over his shoulder for a member of his family. But maybe he can protect the people that matter better by being with them.

Tomorrow he’ll worry about his trunk. For now he heads down the stairs and out of the house to find that the fire has been dowsed with snow but the tent flap is still open. He closes it behind him, following the sound of talking to the same bedroom he’s used before.

“It’s about time.” James is on the top of one bunk, the bed beneath him empty but made up with blankets and a pillow.

“We saved you some chocolate.” Remus has the other bottom bunk; he’s never been fond of heights, not even something as mild as a top bunk. Flying classes first year had been miserable for him. He points to the chocolate frog on the pillow next to a bottle of butterbeer.

“My feet are freezing.” Peter is pointing helplessly at his feet with his wand, but he’s never been very good at warming charms.

“That’s what happens when you have a campout in the snow.” Sirius finds warming charms easy, probably because he’s used them on Remus often enough. He’s always cold the morning after a moon. He helps out his friend, who grins down at him.

“Does this mean you’re done being a stubborn git?” James asks, hanging over the edge of the bed, his hair even more wild then usual thanks to the assist from gravity.

“It means I’ve accepted my doomed future of having to share a bathroom with you for all eternity, knowing you steal my shampoo and shed hair all over the place.” He catches the chocolate frog before it can hop away, viciously biting off a back leg.

“Good, because the kidnapping plan had a few snags in it and this is so much easier. Mum said she’d make a cake to celebrate and anything you want for dinner. Dad says not to worry about anything, he’s already talked to Dumbledore about the change in address. This is going to be brill.” James’ excitement was infectious, and despite his worry Sirius couldn’t help grinning back. No one had ever been excited to have him come home before.

James falls asleep as quickly as he does everything else, and within minutes there’s a soft snoring coming from above him. Peter had fallen asleep almost the moment his feet warmed up. Sirius rarely found sleep easy unless he’d completely physically exhausted himself first. He’s just about to contemplate turning into Padfoot, which sometimes helps, when there’s a whisper from his left side.

“I’m glad you don’t have to go back there, Pads. I’ve always dreaded holidays knowing you had a home like that.” Remus speaks softly but Sirius can hear the concern in his voice.

“It hasn’t been home for a long time. Maybe it never was.” He’s never been wanted by his parents, not in the way Euphemia and Monty so desperately wanted a son. He was an asset, like a land holding or the contents of the family vault, only with less value. “But it’s over now. I’m never going to see my family again.”

“You see your family every day, Pads. We’re right here.”

“Yeah, you are.” It didn’t matter if it was a tent, or a dorm room, or the guest room at the Potters that was secretly being redecorated to welcome him. It didn’t matter if the blood in their veins wasn’t the same. He had his family and his home, and hadn’t lost any of it when he’d walked away from Grimmauld Place. “G’night Moony.”

“Night Padfoot. Sweet dreams.”

Sirius doesn’t remember his dreams the next day, but he wakes up feeling rested and more relaxed than he’s felt in months.

“Your cousin has invited us all for breakfast before we go home.” James is already dressed and using a charm to clean his glasses.

“Good, I’m famished.” He dresses quickly, joining his friends as they dash across the yard, dodging snowballs that they levitate at each other. The kitchen smells like cinnamon and chocolate, and as they eat breakfast they make plans to come back for Sunday dinner. His mother can’t forbid him from spending time with his cousin now, and he’d like to get to know Ted better too.

Monty and Euphemia are waiting for them when they get home, welcoming him with hugs and a meal comprised of all his favorite foods. Remus and Peter stay for the first couple of days, the four of them taking shifts to make sure nothing happens. Other than a howler from his mother all is silent on the Black front. He almost doesn’t mind the howler because Freddie’s the one that delivers it and he knows enough to stay. James is with his mum in the greenhouse and doesn’t hear it. Monty’s there, though, and it’s the first time Sirius has heard him swear.

“They’re just words, son,” he says when the howler explodes. Sirius knows it’s not true, it’s more than that, but the hate is tempered by being called ‘son’ by someone who means it.

“Yeah.” He takes Freddie to the owlery to get settled and joins James and his mum in the greenhouse where they’re transplanting a bloodspot into a larger pot.

“Just in time, my dear. Do you mind holding a few of these leaves out of the way? They are too tender to use a freezing charm on them.” James has dug the hole and Euphemia has the roots supported. Between the three of them they get it settled into the new pot, the dirt anchoring it in place. Pleased, Euphemia steps back to admire their work. “Just right.”

“Just where it belongs,” James says, but he’s not looking at the plant. Sirius rolls his eyes and sticks out his tongue, but he can’t disagree. He didn't run away from home, he ran towards it.

#harry potter fic #sirius black #the marauders #marauder era fic #my fic #remus lupin #james potter #peter pettigrew #andromeda black tonks #nymphadora tonks #ted tonks #euphemia potter #fleamont potter #hints of remus/sirius #hints of james/lily #abuse tw

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certainglitterhologram · 4 years

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Lysander Scamander and Lily Potter II

I have a feeling that growing up, Lily and Lysander were best friends. Lorcan was super, super, SUPER close friends with Lily, and obviously Lysander, since they are twins, (trust me on this,), but Lily and Lysander just shared a bond the tiniest bit stronger.

Lily being an adventure seeking, adrenaline junky, while was Lysander, also adventure loving, but with limits. He knew his boundries and where to draw the line, but struggled to show that line to Lily, who would just jumped into every tree, every river, wanting to ride the hippogriff that she found in the woods behind the Scamander’s house.

Lysander putting his head into his hands each time, saying “Lily. It’s dangerous. It could bite you, you could fall off, it could have rabies, fleas or something even worse. “

Lily rolling her eyes and attempting to do it anyway, running up to the hippogriff and almost getting trampled to death. Like Scorpius’ dad, but actually life threatening.

After getting her out of there, Lysander smirked at her and said, “Don’t really wanna say I told you so, but....... *Pause* Oh who am I kidding, of course I do. Never tell me I’m wrong Lily, and expect to succeed in whatever dumb thing you’re doing. Lily just scoffing and said “I’m Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley’s daughter. The only reason I almost got trampled was obviously because the hippogriff sensed you behind that tree.”

Lysander, used to these egotistical comments, says “Oh yes, how could I be so stupid. It’s not like I’m the great-grandson of Newt Scamander, or anything. And the situation we are talking about involves a damn hippogriff. “

On the Hogwarts Express, Lily, Hugo, Lysander and Lorcan in the same compartment and a tall, lanky dark haired boy comes in. He introduced himself as Matthew Corner, and Lysander, being the best with people, gets up and politely introduces himself, and introduced the others.

Matt is immediately liked by everyone in the compartment, and they form their own little quintet, bonding over candy and pranks in the compartment.

When Albus and James come in to check on Lily, she just giggles and waves, before redirecting her attention to Lorcan, who had eaten one of those cool sweets that make you grow features of an animal, that Hugo had brought on the train.

The Sorting Ceremony went as expected, really.

Matthew, was one of the first, and had barely sat on the stool, before the hat shouted “RAVENCLAW”

Hugo went next. He was on the stool for a long time with that hat on his head. Not enough to be a hat stall, but just enough to be notably long, before the hat yelled “HU-GRYFFINDOR!”

When Lily was called, she sashayed up to the stool, with an overwhelming amount of confidence, and James yelled “YES, LILS! WHOO!”. The hat suprisingly sat there for a while, debating between Slytherin and Gryffindor, before ultimately deciding on Gryffindor.

Lysander had a feeling of dread at that moment. He did have seperation anxiety from Lorcan, just a mild case, but enough to make him dread the thought of them being in different houses. He hadn’t thought of it until that moment, becuase Lorcan and him were so alike. He ruled out that thought, and focused on relaxing himself

Lorcan jumped on the stool and only had a couple seconds of deliberation, before “HUFFLEPUFF!”

Lysander knew even before going up there, that there was no way he would be in Hufflepuff. He wasn’t exactly the definition of hardworking. Not that he wasn’t, no, he just had a tendency to quit things that no longer interested him, rather than working throught it.

When his name was called, he was immediately sorted into Ravenclaw. He knew he should feel proud, as he was taking after his mother, and had one of his closest friends with him, Matthew, but being away from his twin, best friend and other close friend, was paining him. But Lysander was known to almost always be happy, so shut these feelings down, sucked it up and got used to it. Eventually, he found that it wasn’t that bad, and that Lily and him were still best friends, and Lorcan was still his right hand man. And vice versa.

In their second year, Lily tried out for the Gryffindor quidditch team, and made it, as their Seeker. A few weeks into the season, it was Lily’s third match, Gryffindor vs Hufflepuff and literal miliseconds after Lily caught the snitch and secured the win for Gryffindor, in a rage, one of the Hufflepuff beaters bat a bludger straight at the back of her head, knocking her out.

Lysander, Lorcan, Hugo and Matt sprinted down the stands, running over towards her. She was crumpled on the grass and being levitated onto a stretcher by Headmistress McGonagall.

The culprit of the injury had jumped on his broom and flew towards the castle, and Lysander was trembling with rage. He snapped at the other boys (Hugo, Matt and Lorcan,) to follow him to see if they could find the boy. They found him trying to run into the castle without being seen, but Lysander jumped on him, and pinned him down, so he couldn’t get away, while Lorcan and Hugo sent red sparks to the teachers, letting them know the found him.

Then, of course, Lysander did the unexpected. Just when the teacher and the student were coming into view, he let go of the boy and punch him straight in the nose, breaking it, as soon as the first met the boy’s face. A single punch before Lysander pulled him close and whispered in a deadly calm tone

“Never. NEVER touch my Lily, EVER again.” Dropping the boy on the ground, before walking over to a shocked twin and Matthew. Leaning against the wall behind them and wiping the blood from the boy’s broken nose in the white-blond hair, not even caring at the streak of red in his hair.

Consequently, he recived three weeks of detention. Could have been worse, I suppose, was his attitude. For the next month, he recived fist bumps from James in the hallways and tiny smirks from Albus, telling him, they were proud.

Three years later, in fifth year, Lysander was noticing that he was catching feelings for Lily, but then, Matt had shyly asked her out, and she replied with “Why not?”.

Everytime they held hands, hugged, kissed or did anything of the sort, Lysander felt a rage build up inside of him. But for Lily’s sake, he tried to be happy. For Lily.

Lorcan noticed immediately, and after teasing that Albus owed him 12 Galleons, comforted him and said that he was sure that Lily felt the same way, but just hadn’t noticed it yet, and told Ly to just play along and calm down.

Hugo noticed it in History of Magic, his first class after breakfast, where after seeing Lily and Matthew snog right in front of him, Lysander had crushed a goblet with his hands. After giving him some kind of twin telepathic look that Hugo couldn’t interpret, Lorcan sighed and muttered “Reparo”.

Hugo thought it was weird, but thought not much of it until he realized in the middle of HOM. (He is Ron Weasley’s kid. Ofc he wouldn’t fucking notice.)

Hugo sent a note to the table where Ly and Matt were sitting, across the room, in a oragami swan (^-^) that read on the outside

Matt, if you’re reading this, just give it straight to Ly. Nothing really that interesting here,

In it, read

Lysander, mate...I realized you like Lily. Or Matt. I’m not sure, mate, i’m not going to make any assumptions. If it is Matt though, good for you. If it’s Lily, It was kinda obvious, so maybe, don’t crush a goblet next time they snog... just trying to help, but just know, that if Lily doesn’t choose you or doesn’t feel the same way, (Which she does.) the whole Potter-Weasley-Granger-Johnson-Delacour clan is on your side.

If you need anyone to talk to, I’m always here, mate. Just say the word.

-Hugo

and Hugo got a paper dragon back, saying

Well, I shouldn’t really suprised, but it’s Lily. I’m not fucking gay. But thanks for being supportive. Love you, bro.

~Ly

Lysander walked out of that class feeling a lot better, while Hugo felt smug. Hugo ran up to Fred II saying how he was about to have won his little bet with Rose. But they walked into the middle of the hallway to see Lily and Matthew, both looking solemn, (which was a first for Lily, who was almost always happy.)

They were speaking in hushed tones, Matt nodded and hugged Lily in an almost friendly manner, before walking away, with a smile on his face.

“What happened?” Lysander asked Lily, plainly curious.

“Oh, Matt and I both agreed that this relationship wasn’t working. We did like eachother.. but we agreed that being friends was more benefical for both of us.

Lysander tried very hard not to break out into a grin, while saying “Aw.. You two were cute together. “

Lily snorted and just walked into the Transfiguration classroom and plopped down in her chair.

During the passing period after the next class, Lysander quickly told Lorcan the news, who encouraged him to ask her out at dinner. And Lysander agreed

Lysander worked up his courage to ask her out and was about to walk over to the Gryffindor table, went she walked into the Great Hall, smirking.

“YOU!” she yelled, pointing at Lysander. The hall went silent.

“ME!” Lysander yelled back, sticking his toungue out at her.

“GO ON A DATE WITH ME ON THE NEXT HOGSMEADE TRIP?” Lily shouted, across the hall and out of nowhere.

“ANYTHING FOR YOU LILS!” The sentence slipped out of Lysander’s mouth before he could stop it, but he was glad he did.

Lily ran over to them, while Lorcan and Matt nudged Lysander, but Lily ignored them, pulling Lysander into a kiss that lasted a good forty five seconds.

The Great Hall cheered, and Lily whispered “I saw you crush that goblet at breakfast today, Ly. I didn’t even remember it until an hour ago. I knew you felt the same as me, so I did something so you wouldn’t have to ask me out. Carriages to Hogsmeade at 10 sound good?”

Lysander couldn’t say anything, so he nodded.

“Perfect! “ And Lysander watched Lily walk to her awed girl friends and a particularly smug Hugo.

Let’s just say a lot of money was exchanged that day.

#Hp #harry potter #harry potter next generation #hp next gen #hp next gen headcanon #Love #first kiss #harry potter oc #Lily Luna Potter #Lysander scamander

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pottahonlyfanz · 3 years

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PART 1 TO THIS STORY

I have no followers. But I’m going to do this anyways, I used to write on WP but lost my account info. Maybe some will see this, maybe some won’t...I feel awkward BUT I do know that I want to. So here I go.

EVENTUALLY will be Ron Weasley Xreader...smut/fluff. This is just the introduction I guess. Sort of like a he’s-the-last-person-y/n-ever-expected story. So this first part is just really accentiuating and leading up to that. Still smutty moments though for sure. Sorry if my grammar or spelling is shit I’m to impatient atm to check it all. Enjoy! (Or don’t)

You were finally in your seventh year here at Hogwarts. The journey from your younger years to now felt like ages. I mean that being said, you also did run into a few near-death-but-not-close-enough-to-do-any-real-damage (well mental health wise that was debatable but ANYWAYS) experiences a year which could have certainly made the process to graduation day feel dreadful at times. Not to say you graduating will solve all of your and everyone elses problems but in the mean time it was cute to pretend it would.

As you approached your last days in class you couldn’t help but think about all of the opportunities you may have missed with your attractive mates that filled the halls of Hogwarts on a daily basis. You had never really been a sexual person so you having your virginity at 17 years old didn’t bother you too much. Or at least that’s the front you put on to avoid going through the awkwardness of losing it. So instead of taking the opportunities you may have had to lose it, or do it or however the hell you prefer to say it...you act as if nobody interests you. As if you’re one of those I’m-not-interested-in-anyone-around-me-because-they-don’t-reach-my-standards type of girls. Which is totally fine! But also just not at all the case for you. It was just a front. Just a rouse for the truth. The truth being although you acted confident you were incredibly insecure and never wanted ANYONE to see you so vulnerable.

If you’re being completely and totally honest with yourself right now, you’re not as cold and anti-boys as the act you put up makes it seem. You’ve never fallen in love with anyone and been in denial about it or anything like that...we’re still FAIRLY cold hearted. But, you did think about yourself with people. Not exactly romantically no that’s not the word...passionately...maybe...well let’s just cut to the chase. You have sexual fantasies about those surrounding you WAY more than you’d like to admit. Well you’d never admit to feeling sexually attracted to a soul but you REALLY, really couldn’t even bring yourself to accept the one realization that you like any other teenager had desires.

Now that we’ve gotten our background information down...lets fast forward to period 3. Snapes class. Your first fantasy of the day always occurs there. Malfoy.

You were a griffindor so the faint idea of a sythlerin was supposed to repulse you. And it did, it truly did. You couldn’t stand Malfoy or the stupid little act he put on as if he were some big shot. You saw right through it all, as you did with everyones B.S. around here. But as you observed Draco throughout your years of developing you noticed some things you didn’t hate...

-His hands...his fingers were long, slender...his hands bombarded with his veins that you noticed popped out more than usual when he spoke. The silver crest ring that rested upon his index made you question how it would feel with him knuckles deep in you.

-His jawline...sharp, sculpted so perfectly. As if jawlines were made off of a blueprint that came from Draco Malfoys face. Which would look so pretty eating you out as if it were his last meal.

-His lips...oh his lips. They were plump but not overly full. The way they puckered as he made that smug look whenever somebody pissed him off. They were always kissable, sure. But something about his mouth when he was angry drove you absolutely mad. Sometimes you’d push his buttons a little extra just to get the satisfaction of looking so, so sexy.

Of course you couldn’t stand his personality or his presence but that’s what made thinking about it more fun. He was forbidden fruit, eniticing forbidden fruit. Which made it even more fun.

Your Narrating now/Your POV:

“What are you looking at Y/N? Don’t you have anything better to do than day dream about me?” Draco snarked.

“In your dreams, Draco. I was looking at the piece of lunch you have leftover on your chin. Saving it for later?” I replied exuding nothing but attitude and confidence. Everyone chuckled after that and Malfoy blushed and shot me an angry glare. I felt a bit guilty for being such a bitch but there was no other excuse I could’ve had for blatantly staring at the man and I have to keep up my tough exterior. Especially towards a syltherin.

Thankfully moments later the bell rang and Snape dismissed us. Before I could even walk out the door I was knocked to the ground after a strong nudge into the door from none other but Malfoy storming past me. He was pissed, but what could I do. There’s no way I would apologize. Not to anyone, certainly not to Malfoy. He’ll get over it. But in the mean time I grabbed my books all knocked out of my hands, dusted myself off and made my way to period 4. Flitwicks class. Now onto another fantasy. Granger. Hermione Granger. She was my mate, we had dormed together since 1st year. She was always easy to talk to, helpful, intelligent. One of my bestfriends here at Hogwarts. My view of her had always been innocent. Until like I said...fifth year when my hormones got the best of me. It wasn’t like a me-falling-for-the-straight-girl situation or anything (which if we’re being compltely honest would be debatable anyways as she expressed to me once that she plays for both teams but...she kind of beat around the bush so that could’ve been my imagination running with what it wanted to hear...) It was another completely sexual thing. From her slender shoulders, to her toned and mesmirising figure, twiddling down to her perfect manicured fingernails...her beauty always consumed me whenever I found myself glancing her way.

I thought about a lot of things with Hermione. I thought about how it would feel with her down on me as I gripped a few strands of her overwhelmingly beautiful hair. I thought about how her warm, sensual lips would feel against mine as I fondled her sweet spot below...dipping my fingers in and out of her with ease and pleasure. About how her moans would be soft but reassuring at the same time. Or just how badly I wanted to feel her, pleasure her...please her. I would be completely selfless when it came to Hermione in bed beca-

“Y/N? Y/N!....are you even remotely paying attention? You’re missing this lesson entirely.” Hermione suddenly scowled at me in a low whisper.

“I- I yeah! I am paying attention. Just got lost in my own thoughts for a second there. Thank you.” I replied back to her. Which honestly, was true. It’s not like these fantasies were ALL I thought about. I kept my grades at low 90s but it was more so because I studied my ass of and can easily understand and retain what I’m being taught even if sometimes my mind wanders elsewhere. Except for those few days, where I slip and find it hard to focus on much else but my desires. Today was one of those days.

“Okay, good. I don’t want to see you get behind and make a fool of yourself. You’re too smart for that. We’re too smart for that.” She said facing back to the tiny teacher after our short whispering encounter. I liked how she was always concerned about her friends. I thought it was sweet it was- NOPE! STOP! I don’t fall for people, I don’t crush on people...I just fantasize about them. I had to remind myself before getting back to paying attention to todays material; pratically drooling over the sight of Hermione sitting in front of me and the sweet scents that excuded her presence.

As I was finally dismissed from that class which felt like an age long wait, I made my way to the Griffindorr common room for my favorite period. My free period. It was one of the many perks of being a seventh year and I looked forward to it every. single. day. Typically I spent this time alone studying or working on projects, except for a few days every now and then I was accompianed by Harry to tutor him for Sprout’s herbology class which he was especially dreadful at. As soon as I walked in I saw his familar face sitting on the floor waiting for me to accompany him. As soon as he felt me looking at him, I was soon greeted with that adorable little smirk of his.

“Y/N! Hello! I hope you don’t mind were sitting on the floor. There’s more space and to be honest its oddly more comfortable.” He said confident and positively.

“Not at all, sounds great. Lets get started shall we?” I answered back in my typical a-bitch-who’s-being-friendly tone. Harry and I were close like I was with Hermione, so I always tried to talk with a warmer demeanor as I actually enjoyed their company.

“Absoultely. I figured we would start with knottgrass since that’s where I need the most help. Then we can move on to sneezewort and bouncing bulb.” He blurbed very assured. I loved how decsisive he was. It was such a turn on.

“Works for me. Lets give it a go.” I answered back to him.

As I went over the currciulum and reassured him or did just the opposite pending he was unsucsessful; I couldn’t help but notice his shirt lifting everytime he stretched his hands over his head, looking more confused than ever. He was getting frustrated and his tone got progressively more and more stern as the period carried on.

“Y/N, I don’t understand this. You’re not explaining it right, and I’m getting confused.” He said with an attitude and his eyes looking like they were near popping out of his head under his glasses. God he looked so sexy when he grew angry, his veins all over him making an apperance under his now rolled up arm sleeves. Exposing his lets just say...distracting arms. They looked as if they could take and over power me any minute had I just said the word. But as always, I supressed my feelings and the sexual tension of the whole I’m-agressively-looking-down-at-your-lips-and-biting-mine-as-I-do-it game he was playing.

“Fine. Maybe we should take a break here. You’re not comprehending what I’m saying because you’re frustrated. Go cool off or something.” I replied stern, but calm.

He rolled his eyes and leaned back so he was against the couch. As I glanced over at him I noticed his...member was growing. He cleared his throat and turned away from me after we had both realized it became noticeably there. I couldn’t blame him nor was I suprised. I took of my robe earlier when I had entered the room because it was quite toasty. Leaving my legs and nipples so obviously there and exposed (as today was no-bra-day...like everyday) and the closeness of our bodies combined with Harry’s obvious desire for me as he got more and more frustrated growing through the room. Harry and I had made out once in fifth year but that’s as far as it got. Mostly because I acted like it didn’t happen after because I wished it hadn’t...not because it wasn’t amazing but because that wasn’t me, that wasn’t what I had time for. We never spoke of it again and nobody ever knew. Although ever since then there had always been some tension there. Which seemed to progress once we were alone...I pretended to ignore it and acted oblivious to my very apparent sex appeal that came with developing my figure as I grew older. Regardless of my deep insecurities, I saw here and there little glimpses of liking things about myself which gave me the fake confidence I exude. Although now felt like a moment of weakness. As I had seen Harry’s CLEARLY very hard...long...girth it had been silent ever since. Mostly because I was dreaming of him taking himself and getting off in my mouth, but 2 minutes later of us sitting in that silence; I decided to break it. As much as I craved Harry, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.

“Are you cooled down now? Can we continue the review? Or would you prefer we pick up where we left off last time...” I question acting cool and calm as if I hadn’t seen a thing.

“We can just...continue tomorrow. If you’re free. Or tonight. Possibly in my dorm? I find it easy to study there...” He said, still frustrated but almost seductively. And oh how my body ached for me to say yes. Oh how I longed to taste and feel Harry Potter. Just thinking about it had me moving around seeking a bit of friction in my soaked panties.

“Oh, tomorrow is fine. I’ll meet you back in here same time?” I answered.

He let out a slight but still noticeable sigh. “Yeah, same time.” He responded as if I had let him down.

As I got up and began to gather my things, I noticed he was staring down my shirt. “Potter!” I yelled. “Can I help you with something?!” His face turned beat red, his member still there; still growing.

“Oh! N-n-No! I apologize. I thought you had something on your...y-your shirt.” He answered nervously. Had I made him nervous? Harry Potter?..nervous? I had never seen him like this, unsure of himself. It was almost...facsinating to say the least. I acted as if it wasn’t obvious to save his pride.

“Oh. Okay. Sorry for getting snappy. I just thought- well. Y’know. Have a goodnight, Potter. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said in a warm but sure tone.

“No worries. See you tomorrow. Goodnight Y/N.” He replied clearly very relieved that his rouse had worked. (Or so he assumed)

I grabbed my robe and continued with my things as I turned around and walked out of the room feeling his beautiful blue eyes on me with every step I took.

As I finished my last class and went back to my dorm that night, my mind was nowhere but on the thought of Harry who I kept wondering if he had been thinking of me. My body craved him. Deeply. Desperately. Yet that would never happened, so I dreamed.

#harry potter #harry potter imagine #hogwartssmut

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twoidiotwriters1 · 4 years

Text

Pure Blood 4 (Sirius Black x F! Oc)

lA/N: Yeeeeesss, Persephone is back, ma frends. lol, i’m sorry for taking so long, but here you have. :)

Words: 1,926

Warnings: None.

Chapter 3. // Chapter 5.

Chapter 4: A favor.

First year.

Dear Persephone:

We’re proud of you, being in one of the most respectable Houses of Hogwarts. Your father and other wizards have been in it, you have to start with something, and the fact that you represent the Singh family- blah blah blah… I know the speech already, actually, I think this is the same letter they sent to Apollo when he got selected. I can’t believe they’re recycling it, it almost makes me laugh. Almost.

Everyone catches the letters either on their hands or their plates. I watch my table, most of them have their group of friends already and I feel upset cause I got none. I really wish Sirius could be with me.

I raise my eyes and look over his table, looking for him, of course it doesn’t actually help, so I get up and I finally see him. Next to him is that boy with glasses that we met on the train, he looks happy, he’s chatting with a chubby boy.

I look back at Sirius and I see him reading a letter.

Oh no.

He looks all pale and his hands are wrinkling the paper, I have a terrible feeling about this.

Suddenly he gets up, he says something to the boys and rushes out of the Great Hall. I don’t doubt it for even one second and I gran my bag, following him from up-close. He’s faster and soon he takes advantage and I curse under my breath. We walk through the halls, sometimes crashing against other people, I hurriedly whisper ‘sorry’, my eyes never leaving the dark-haired boy. Yet, after a few minutes he disappears.

I groan and keep walking. Alright, if I were Sirius Black, where would I hide? No, not hiding, he just wants to be alone. He won’t go to a classroom, maybe the gardens? I don’t know where the gardens are yet! Neither does he. And I can’t ask anybody, because no one knows who Sirius is.

After a while of wondering through the halls, Merlin took pitty of me and I found him behind a pillar, next to an arch that takes you to a garden. Ha! I found one.

I inch closer towards my friend, who seems lost inside his head, his back is leasing against the wall.

“There you are, stranger,” I tease.

He looks up in surprise, but once he recognize my face he seems to relax, I leave my bag on the floor and sit next to him.

“Hi,” He tries to smile, but his frown remains, “How did you found me?”

“I felt that my best friend was having a bit of trouble, I just walked around until I found you” don’t even think I’ve been looking for you like crazy all this time, of course not.

He gives me a sckeptical look and I just smile, causing him to chuckle.

“My parents sent me a letter to congratulate me, I thought yours would too, but not exactly as a way to congratulate you,” I say carefully, Sirius looks away and plays anxiously with his fingers.

“It’s not the best letter I’ve received,” He replies lowly.

We stay quiet for a moment, then he continues.

“Now I’m a disapppointment for my family, Percy,” His voice trembles, “I’d never seen so manny threats in one letter,” He tries to sound like he’s joking, but his eyes are tearing up.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, he just shakes his head.

“Don’t,” He sniffs, “either way, they never saw me as someone ‘worthy’ of the lastname. Besides, my mother’s words are nothing new.”

“I guess now she does have a reason to use them,” He shares his head and faces me.

“It doesn’t matter now, How are you doing with the snakes?” I smile, I don’t want to make him feel pressured, he’ll be ready to talk with me someday.

“I’m one of them now, you know?” I raise my brow.

“Nah, you don’t count, you’re a lot better than all of them, I’m sure,” I laugh at his words.

“All’s fine, though…” I grimace, “it looks like they’re not very nice with people, or maybe they just don’t like me.”

“Hey,” He says, surrounding my shoulders with his arms, “don’t worry about that, you don’t need them anyway, with me you have more than enough,” I roll my eyes and he laughs, it looks like the sensitive subject is long forgotten.

“Everything would be easier if we were in the same House.”

“I guess so, can you imagine if the both of had gotten into Gryffindor? Our parents would be fumming, but the jokes wouldn’t end, my dear Percy. Actually, you’d be great in our group,” I give him a confused glance, “oh yes, you remember James and Remus? We have a lot in common, and there’s this other kid, his name’s Peter. We could use a girl in our group.”

I shake my head, smiling at seeing how happy he is with them.

“I don’t think that I could be in your group. Maybe Remus would stand me, but I don’t know.”

“They would love you,” We share a look, he seems to be sincere with his words.

“I don’t know, Sirius.”

“C’mon! Give them a chance!”

“Alright,” He hugs me tightly and I squeal, causing him to laugh again.

“You wouldn’t regret it, dear Persephone,” I suddenly remember, He lets go of me and I get up from the ground.

“Come on, Sirius. Classes are about to start,” I offer my hand and help him get up. “See you later?”

“Of course, what class do you have now?”

“Herbology, then potions and you?”

“Transformations, but I think I also have potions later, we will surely be together.”

Finally good news.

“Great,” I say smiling.

“Save me a seat!”

I approach him and then kiss his cheek.

“See you later,” I say goodbye and continue walking towards the greenhouse, where we’ll have the class. Excited for the hours to pass quickly.

________________________________________

Finally it’s time to enter the potions class in the dungeons, I don’t get distracted by anything and quickly go to the classroom.

Before entering the room I debate whether to leave my things at the shared tables to set aside a place for Sirius and wait for him at the door or just sit down, but in the end it wins the second option. I put my bag in the chair next to me.

After a few minutes the other students arrive and I can see that there is a great division: the tables on the right side of the room are occupied by those of Gryffindor, while those on the left by Slytherin, nobody dares to mix.

My thoughts are interrupted by the laughter of someone I know quite well. I turn in my chair until I look towards the door, Sirius enters with his friends. I raise my arm a little, he walks in my direction, but James's arm stops him. I frown at the sight of his action.

The boy draws Sirius to him, my friend talks to him and points, James sees me and I try my best to smile and greet him with my hand, the boy returns to my friend and tells him something. Sirius looks confused and looks around.

Come on Sirius! Don't mind the division, please. I bite my lower lip as they keep talking, then Sirius nods looking at James and then returns to my direction.

He moves his lips "I'm sorry" and then follows James and sits on the Gryffindor side.

What happened? My sight doesn’t depart from its place, I don’t understand. He said to save him a place, but only with a few words from James he changes his mind?

I feel anger filling my body. Sirius looks up but this time I look away. I take my bag and leave it on my table with a heavy bang. It doesn't take long for the place to be occupied.

Professor Slughorn enters the classroom and the class begins.

_____________________________________

“I'm sorry, really, I'm sorry,” Sirius says following me. I just keep walking without looking at him. "Come on Percy, I did want to sit by your side just that-”

I stop.

“What did James tell you to change your mind?” He scratches his neck nervously.

“You saw that Gryffindor's were on the other side, it would've been weird if I sat next to you.”

“So what? It's their problem if they don't want to mix, I don't think they’re friends with a Slytherin, but you are!” I answer.

“I already said I'm sorry, I was a fool, the next class we’ll sit together,” My anger increases.

“You know very well that the tables are already made. Have fun with your new best friend,” I try to leave, but he grabs my arm.

“James is not my new best friend, I hardly know him.”

“And still, with just a few words he can manipulate you,” he releases a sigh.

“Listen, yes, James convinced me not to sit with you and I know we had agreed that we would be together. I was sorry, as soon as the class started, I was thinking about how you would do it or the comments we made, there are many things that only you understand and it wasn't that fun. I regretted the moment I sat on the other side.”

His gray eyes show regret and I know that wet-dog face, he always uses it to avoid getting into trouble. I release a sigh.

“Well, I forgive you, but-” he interrupts me and suddenly I’m already wrapped in a hug.

“Thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks. You’re brilliant!” He says.

"I know, but you must make up for the mistake, Sirius.” He nods several times.

“Anything you want.”

“I'll think of something, and you must promise not to leave me again for your friends,” I point out.

“I promise, Percy.”

________________________________

Fifth year.

I think this is the stupidest idea I've had in a long time. Maybe it's the stupidest of my life.

I can't retract now. Well, maybe I can, but if I do it will be worse.

I must do it, I want to do it, but I'm afraid. He will tell his friends and everything will go to hell. And basically, I will die.

Agh! Damn anxiety. Leave this body, please.

Okay, breathe. Inhale and exhale.

He's just a boy, the most harmless I've ever met.

Merlin, I hope not to die trying.

I enter the library, search among the bookshelfs and finally find the boy. I bite my bottom lip and hide behind a bookcase near the table where he is.

“You can, don't be a coward, it's for a good cause,” I whisper. Without letting another negative thought come to my mind, I walk to his table and sit in front of him.

He looks up and lowers the book he was reading, seems confused. I do not blame him. I try to give him my best innocent smile, but I know I can only make a face.

“You're okay?” I erase my expression and clear my throat.

“Yes, better than ever,” he nods, still confused raises his eyebrows waiting for me to say something. And of course my hands decide to start sweating, “I-I was wondering if…” I say stuttering, “Okay, I have... t-maybe... me.”

“What do you want, Persephone?” Ask in annoyance.

Shit this is already ruined and I haven't even started. I inhale deeply and exhale, preparing myself.

“I need a favor.”

Taglist:

@treestarrrrrrrr @siriuslysirius1107 @thagreenmoonblack @madmaiden2890 @bloodorangemoonlight

#pure blood #hp fanfic #sirius black #sirius black x reader #james potter #Remus lupin #two idiots writing

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teddylupines · 4 years

Text

[ PLOT ARC 4, PROPHECY 6, THE CHAMELEON ] ❝ Oh, I’ve been waitin’ for something to change but I can’t escape this waterfall of doubt. Oh, my blood, sweat, and tears for twenty-some years, all bottled up and broken. ❞ TEDDY LUPIN looks a lot like that muggle, TOMMY MARTINEZ/MARIA GABRIELA DE FARIA, right? Only 27 years old, that HUFFLEPUFF alumnus works as a WANDMAKER and is sided with the ORDER OF THE PHOENIX. THEY identify as GENDERFLUID and is a HALFBLOOD (METAMORPHAGUS). [ JAY, HE/HIM, 24, EST ]

howdy hey i’m jay, and no i didn’t mean for that to rhyme but here we are. this is teddy! my child! my heart! they’re soft. very good. mean well. a little chaotic. a little messy. they have a lot of feelings. below the cut is info about teddy!

i definitely want to plot with everyone. i have ideas for people who are in the order and for people who are wraiths (listen........ plotting their relationship with valentina nott, the wraith teddy is impersonating......... and having teddy try to figure out how to interact with everyone? *chef’s kiss* the drama. i’m here for it) and just everyone please.

Teddy Lupin is my trash son (read: absolute darling love of my life 10/10 would die for him without hesitation they’re perfect and I disparage them with fondness) and I’m playing them a bit differently than I usually do so I’m still learning about them, so please bear with me. I’ve played them a hundred times before but I’m still figuring out the nuances and details.

Teddy Lupin, in a mess of words: Strange and unusual. Turquoise. The smell of something faintly burning. Crooked grins. Bubblegum pink. An old piece of parchment (maybe it’s a map). Messy hair. Nails painted the muggle way, dried with a quick charm. Heart bursting. Odd splinters of wood. Righteousness. Rich yellows. Bleeding heart. A collection of records first started by the first Ted. Coming alive after dark. Ever changing. Grief-stricken. Scribbles on scraps of paper. An eyebrow piercing that made Andromeda cry. Cereal at midnight, no milk. Plinking keys on a piano. Blood doesn’t make family. Too many words to say. A former troublemaker. Dedicated.

To begin, as we all know, Edward Teddy Lupin was the only child born to Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks. One was a Gryffindor, one was a Hufflepuff. Both were brave beyond compare, dedicated to their beliefs and to their friends -- at least, that’s what Teddy was always told growing up, and they had no reason to believe otherwise. They grew up with their grandmother, Andromeda, and they’d lay on the floor in her living room as she told stories of them both. They’d stare at the ceiling, their mind flitting with thought as they replayed story over and over until there was no way they could forget it forget it.

Andromeda, the only blood relative that Teddy grew up around, was not Teddy’s only family. And they thank Merlin for that every day. Teddy had the privilege of growing up around their godfather, the one and only Harry Potter. By extension, he also grew up around the Potter-Weasley family and their relatives. There was never any question that the lot of them were their family. Older than most of them, they saw most of the lot as younger siblings, friends unquestionably (of course, this included everyone but Victoire, but she’s another story entirely).

Going to Hogwarts, Teddy walked up to the sorting hat, their hair their signature turquoise, and they placed it on their own head and waited. And waited some more. The hat talked to Teddy, about their parents, about where they would do well. Much to the hat’s chagrin, Teddy had no preference whatsoever, so they served as no help. They wanted to go where they’d fit best (a strange thought, considering how prone to change they were). Finally, after what seemed like ages, the hat called Hufflepuff. Pleased, Teddy’s hair turned a rich yellow, and they walked to their table -- to their new family and home.

With a marauder as a parent, and a marauder’s son as a godparent, there was never ever doubting that Teddy was going to be a little troublesome, and perhaps, on some days, a little was an understatement. They were never malicious or filled with bad intent, they just craved fun and excitement. There were times they couldn’t get either of those things without a little rule-breaking. Teddy always saw it as this: as long as no one got hurt, there was no harm done. Whether they were right about that was and will always be up for debate. Despite their disposition for a little trouble, they were named prefect their fifth year, then headboy their seventh year. Their headboy badge was then charmed to say, “Head Ted”. It was much more fitting, if you asked them.

Post-Hogwarts, Teddy faltered. The plan had been to follow in Harry’s footsteps, to become an auror. They had the grades, their NEWTs were nearly impeccable, but when it came time to apply? They didn’t. They couldn’t. Everyone knew that Teddy had always been more of a lover than a fighter anyways. So, for the summer after finishing their schooling at Hogwarts, they did a little bit of everything. They shadowed mediwitches at St. Mungos, they worked at a few different shops in Diagon Alley (including a very brief stint at WWW -- it ended when they realized they had not one, not two, but three different puffles to take care of, and they couldn’t be confident in their own abilities to say no to bringing home a fourth).

Everything changed when Teddy noticed a brief advertisement in the Daily Prophet. It was written by none other than Garrick Ollivander and Teddy’s attention had been caught. It said they were looking for someone strange and unusual for a strange and unusual job. How could they have said no to that? They couldn’t. So, instead, they wrote to Ollivander, inquiring about the position, and soon enough -- Teddy was the elderly wandmaker’s apprentice. It was never where they imagined themself ending up, but they quickly realized they loved working with wands and with the renowned wandmaker.

When Harry restarted the Order in 2023, there was no doubting that Teddy would be a part of it. Though their godfather wasn’t keen on them putting themself at any risk ,there was no stopping Teddy. Their mother had been a part of it, their father had been a part of it -- wouldn’t they have wanted them to do what was right? Teddy, though slightly morally ambiguous in school (rules were broken, fights were had -- they were genuinely good-spirited, but they weren’t always nice), not quite brave enough to become an auror, couldn’t deny that the Order stood for what was right. The idea of anyone disagreeing was blasphemous, and what the Death Eaters had done? What the Wraiths were stirring up again? Teddy had never been too keen on fighting, almost too soft, almost too hesitant, but they wouldn’t sit idle. They’d play the fight where they could. If that was offense, so be it. If it was intelligence, so be it. They couldn’t stand around being useless. Tonks and Remus’ child was not going to stand around, letting the world fight for what was right around them. ( Quick addition: Teddy’s Order Code Name is Kit -- their patronus is a fox!)

{ DEATH MENTION } When someone first told Teddy that Harry had been killed, they couldn’t believe it -- they didn’t want to believe. Harry was the Boy Who Lived -- he wasn’t meant to die. And yet, Harry, their godfather, the closest thing to an actual father they had, was dead. It was devastating. Suddenly, Teddy had to do more. They watched people give up their day jobs to dedicate themselves to the order, maybe they should do that, too. They just needed an opportunity, a chance to prove themself.

That chance came when Valentina Nott died. The Wraiths believed that she was missing, no proof otherwise or body found. The idea came to Teddy quickly, and they approached both Ron and Hermione with trepidation. They didn’t want to be seen as the kid that grew up around them, so they raised their chin, they spoke without a wobble in their voice. They would pretend to be Valentina, having been injured badly, too severely to immediately return. They knew that her rune was seen on her hand -- like her, they’d wear a pair of gloves. So long as they didn’t remove it, no one would know. It could be crucial to getting information, Teddy urged. Eventually, Ron and Hermione. Teddy would be given a chance to do this.

Teddy is getting used to the Wraiths, hiding their disgust in meetings and discussions. They’ve learned to talk like Valentina, they’ve learned to be Valentina. It’s hard, spending so much time away from the order, but this is what’s right, isn’t it? They’ve only ever wanted to do that.

Regarding Harry Potter returning, Teddy is conflicted. On one hand, they know how much pain Harry went through -- they were alike in so many ways, orphaned by a war started long before their birth, and Harry had dealt with so much more. To spare him reliving it would be merciful. But to let him know nothing, to be naively blind? That seemed just as cruel.

For the prophecy, Teddy wholeheartedly thinks it means they will die. Whether as Teddy or Valentina, they’re willing to take the risk. Their parents died for what was right, Harry died for what was right. Maybe they will, too.

Quick and Dirty about for Valentina Nott, the Wraith Teddy is impersonating

25 years old, a former Slytherin

Betrothed to ??? someone. Honestly I’m a sucker for a cool plot idea & I had the idea that maybe Valentina was betrothed to another Wraith & now Teddy not only has to deal with the struggle of pretending to be Valentina and the Wraith ideology, but now this person who Valentina was supposedly in love with or was in love with her (more details to come later, I’m just a fool)

ANYWAYS. The eldest daughter to Camila and Theodore Nott. She has an older brother and another younger sibling. Theodore Nott had not gotten the dark mark before the end of the war but was close to it. He always had poor things to say about muggles and muggle borns as she grew up.

Pretty. Loves the idea of being more than someone else.

Talented with charms, begun developing her own spells when she was alive. Her rune was meant to enhance her power of spell-casting. Her rune was on the palm of her hand and was typically covered by silk gloves.

Her Wraith Code Name was Coruscatio, meaning a glittering, a flash

#✧・ﾟ: * — summations ( about )#rev intros

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constantviigilance-blog · 4 years

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alastor rhys moody ; auror. did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?

tw: death, spousal death & unborn baby death.

before hogwarts (1940-1951)

born august 10th, 1940 to rhys and constance moody, aurors. they didn’t plan to have a child, only surprised when it happened and it didn’t stop either of them from their work. grindelwald was at his height when alastor was born and it was due to this that his parents kept an extremely watchful eye on him.

this created a rather paranoid and jumpy child in alastor. not that he didn’t try to be brave, he often tried to be but the stories his parents would tell him would make him wary of strangers, wary of people he should have been trying to befriend.

his parents also kept him alone outside of his tutor once he reached a certain age. the tutor had gone through such a rigorous screening to make sure that they were not of dark magic and won’t harm the family.

alastor began showing magic right around the age of eight, relatively normal age and his parents weren’t wholly impressed by it or wholly worried that he had shown it later in life. they knew their son wouldn’t disappoint them and he still had years and years of learning left before he would be ready to truly show them if he would be a disappointment or not.

it was ingrained in his head from a small age that excellence is the only thing to be expected of him and even during his tutoring, alastor would go above and beyond what was needed in order to try and impress his parents. even if nothing seemed to impress them.

alastor showed to be a curious child when it came to learning, often opening books beyond his level in order to learn more and nothing was off-limits. even the early magical theory he learned put him ahead of his peers once it was time to start at hogwarts.

hogwarts (1951-1958)

hogwarts turned out to be a literal blessing for alastor. he didn’t have the constant pressure of his parents around to force him to be the very best and he could finally figure out what sort of man he wanted to be after seven years of learning.

sorted into ravenclaw after a few minutes of debate between gryffindor and ravenclaw. alastor had a certain level of bravery, something that would manifest in him further as the years went on, yet it was his curiosity for learning that set him down the path of being a ravenclaw.

excelled in most of his classes, particularly in charms, transfiguration, potions, and of course, defense against the dark arts. herbology had been something that grew on alastor after a few years, especially when challenging himself to get an outstanding o.w.l. in it by his fifth year.

made prefect and eventually head boy, two feats that alastor felt proud of himself for receiving but his parents didn’t show much of their approval of such things. thinking that it might take away from his lessons, from his studies, from his future career of being an auror.

it had come shortly before fifth year, the talk of expectations and the career that he wouldn’t be able to talk himself out of. the moodys had been aurors for years, his father and his father’s father and so on. even his mother’s family had their own generations of aurors. there was no other path for alastor to take.

despite this, alastor worked hard at his o.w.l exams, managing to get twelve outstandings across his classes and would continue to do very similarly in his n.e.w.t.s, just good enough (but could have been better) for his parents and the career path they’ve set forth.

he didn’t mind becoming an auror, there was something behind the elitism of such a career that had his attention from a young age and it required a lot more thought and detective work than some of the other branches of magical law enforcement.

but his time at hogwarts wasn’t just spent working on his career and working towards becoming the man he’ll later become. alastor wasn’t one for sports or parties or really anything else most of the other students got up to, he took his prefect and head boy duties pretty seriously.

she changed his mind over time. alys pugh, spitfire welsh girl sorted into gryffindor and alastor’s best friend from first year. they had one class together, potions, and if it wasn’t for alys, he would have never fallen in love with the subject. or maybe if it wasn’t for potions, he would have never fallen in love with her.

alys was everything that alastor wasn’t. she was extroverted, she could befriend and talk to anyone and everyone who would let her and she was fierce about it. the way her mouth always seemed to be set in that almost smile, almost smirk. but when she would smile, fully, the number of times he stopped breathing was countless. smart enough to be on his level, the only person who could intellectually give him a run for his money and his academic rival despite their friendship.

he fell in love with her so gradually that he hadn’t felt that it was real until seventh year when she had been made head girl, and she seemed to gain the eyes of almost every other lad in the school. alastor hated seeing her go on dates in hogsmeade, he hated seeing her cry over some boy that wouldn’t treat her right. it was halfway through the year when he couldn’t take it anymore, telling her that he’s in love with her and she deserved no one else but him.

all she did was laugh before kissing him. “finally you bloody idiot.”

the day they left hogwarts was the day he asked her to marry him the first time. she laughed in that way she did, driving him mad, before telling him no. “it’s not time yet.”

post hogwarts // career (1958-1975)

alastor had been accepted into the auror program before the start of his seventh year, early admission, and something that his parents were actually proud of.

by the time he left hogwarts, his parents began to slow down as aurors and were planning on retiring. one more case they were working on together, one that had them working late and often forgetting to ask their son how training was going. radicals, they called them, muttering as they wrote down little notes. they were close to something bigger than they could understand.

his parents worked hard up until the very end. they had bested many foes over the years, they helped during the fall of grindelwald and worked closely with albus dumbledore in that time. together they fought, together they went out. it was so fitting.

except they never figured out who the ones in the masks had been and why their actions seemed to lead somewhere and nowhere at the same time. after their death in august, as a means of coping with the sudden loss but the kind of loss he had been prepared for his whole life -- alastor took their files and poured over them.

in between his training and trying to balance a social life, he would find himself looking over his parents’ last file, trying to find a pattern where it seemed there was none. often reaching out to dumbledore, a trusted friend despite up until recently, he had been alastor’s teacher.

it wasn’t until a decade later they would finally find out who the masked wizards were, having grown into an army that no auror would have expected. not after grindelwald was defeated.

by then, as alastor mckinnon rose through the ranks, as did alastor moody. mckinnon had been a good mentor for alastor and something close to a friend, often feeling more like a father figure in the absence of his own father. he quickly became one of the youngest senior aurors.

this was the career he was groomed for his entire life. brilliant strategist, quick on his feet, skilled duelist. the love of his life being a potioneer helped greatly with his own potion brewing, antidotes in particular, and knowing properties of most common poisons.

by the start of the 1970s, alastor had managed to catch a decent number of dark wizards but it felt like just the tip of the iceberg.

his career had become one part of his life that he loved but it was the quiet moments with his wife that would be the memories he would cherish for as long as he could.

post hogwarts // personal life (1958-1975)

alastor asked alys to marry him a total of four times before she finally said yes in 1962, around when his training finished and his career started. she told him it was finally time because all of his attention wouldn’t be on his training.

if it were up to alastor, they would have gotten married the next day. the only time he would ever truly be impulsive was whenever he was with her. she brought it out of him, filling him with a sort of exhilarated rush because when it was just them -- everything else in the world melted away. he was so head over heels in love with her and no moment could be too long.

but alys delayed it because she knew that he would become too busy with his career and she would never come between a moody and being an auror. she had her own dreams, her own goals to reach first anyway. the engagement was the true test, marriage is just a fancy slip of paper.

it wasn’t until 1970 that alastor and alys finally got married, in september, on one of the more warmer yet aesthetically pleasing early autumn days.

alys radiated in the sunlight. he supported a nasty cut on his cheek that would eventually scar due to a duel he had been in the night before. one of the many that began to adorn his face throughout the years. and still, she would kiss every scar and still see that beautiful man she fell in love with.

marriage life had its usual ups and downs, good days and bad days, whatever cliche left to be said. they had fights, little insignificant fights to almost world shattering ones that would leave both of them breathless at the thought of losing each other for good. but then they would make up and sometimes the makeups were worth the fight.

it wasn’t always about his job, even though it often had him coming home bloodier than when he left and sometimes she would think him too paranoid when he needed to check every piece of mail and food. no, their fights turned into something alastor could never figure out why he was so afraid, to begin with.

alys wanted a child, or two, or three, or five. she wanted a family and it scared him. it scared him becoming a father. but by their fifth-anniversary, when alys told him that she was pregnant and they were expecting their first child, that fear melted into something indescribable. love and pride mixed into one bigger feeling.

eight months later would be the worst day of his life.

june 3rd, 1975 - now

at the time, there was no way for alastor to know what would happen. he could have had his inkling that something might happen, but never the when or the how. only ever the why and the who. he was careful as he always was but they still manage to track him to his house.

it was in the middle of the night when they attacked. a group of death eaters against alastor and an eight-month pregnant alys.

looking back on it, he still can’t answer what happened.

he woke up sometime later in st. mungos, the lower half of his right leg missing and no good news about his wife and unborn child.

the rest of the year felt like a blur, filled with immense darkness that surrounded him, suffocating him. he had to take off of work for months to go through physical therapy for the wooden leg they charmed for him. something that would be light enough not to make too much noise for stealth is key to being an auror, while not being too uncomfortable on his still-healing body.

it’s safe to say that anything good in alastor died with his family. yet it was the anger he felt for their deaths, the mystery behind who attacked them, that fueled his need to go back to work. and once they allowed him to, moody didn’t stop until he put more and more of these death eaters in azkaban.

it was only two years after the death of his family that alastor was approached by albus dumbledore. the older man still someone that alastor trusted and trusted enough to join this secret organization, the order of the phoenix. as long as dumbledore lead, he would follow.

it was his revenge that made the decision so easy. he could be useful to the order while being an auror while the order will give him the satisfaction of finding and hurting those who hurt him.

not a day goes by where he isn’t filled with thoughts and memories of his lost love, the lost future he could have had. do not pity the dead, pity the living.

#( AM. about )

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vivienncs · 5 years

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❧ make sure you KISS your fist before you PUNCH me in the face ❧

❝ Forgiveness is a war between the head and the heart and my body is a battleground. This is how it ends. I'm built of speed but nobody ever taught me how to back down. I wouldn't know how to outrun a war. ❞

BRIANNE TJU? No, that’s actually VIVIENNE ‘VIV’ CHANG from the NEXT GENERATION ERA. You know, the child of CHO CHANG and NICO TEJA? Only 21 years old, this GRYFFINDOR alumni works as an INDEPENDENT CURSEBREAKER and is sided with THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX. SHE identifies as a CIS WOMAN and is a HALFBLOOD who is known to be CRITICAL, ABRASIVE, and UNFORGIVING but also DAUNTLESS, UNSTOPPABLE, and QUICK-WITTED. — &&. ( JANE, NZT, SHE/HER, 22. )

hellooooo this is jane

viv’s pinterest is here!!! ( she also has a smaller section HERE in my general quantum leap board )

viv is mostly a chaotic competitive

this is the girl who decided to try in her classes bc some asshole annoyed her and she decided the appropriate response was to beat him at everything he loves so

anyway it worked out! she found the academic half of her nerdjock truth and ended up taking way too many fucking newts and owls

her history of magic project in sixth year was about how the founders are fake/fables (the real people still existed probs but certainly the names and traits make more sense as fables and anyway surnames didn’t exist like that at the time and she has a lot of points and i bet someone tells her it’s a dumb idea so she devotes herself to it as her history of magic project) so get ready for her to tell u about that if she remotely values ur academic opinions/thoughts

tiny™

like 4′11″

maybe she’s hit 5′0″ now that she’s twenty one (good grief) but chances are no... also wouldn’t make a difference anyway —- she’d be an inch closer to some people and still over a foot shorter than her bf

she was a chaser for gryffindor from a young age, and until she was in sixth year, she’d really intended on playing professionally and had been involved in the sport from her youth, playing in younger leagues and being part of professional youth teams during her hogwarts years. it’s something she’s still v passionate about, but what it really comes down to is that when she was having her academic careers meeting in fifth year, she realised: there were other things she equally wanted to do with her life. before that moment, it had never really been framed that way, like there was anything else she cared enough about to do for the rest of her life, that there was anything else she was good enough to do, but after that meeting and during the months following, she really came to understand that while her notable speed and physicality would always be things she connected to, she truly loved history and academia, and the theory of magic (as well as the practical execution of curses / unravelling them), and something about combining those aspects with her determined and dauntless spirit set her on track for cursebreaking (independently —- we aren’t here for destroying magics of antiquity and other cultures for capitalism n banks y’all)

don’t fuck w her gals

will break ur nose and not apologise

will help lily bury a body if need be

cho is younger child of weisheng chang, who was brother to jia chang, mother to marlene mckinnon —- marlene and cho were cousins, except marls died when cho was a baby, rip (jia was younger and had her children when she was young, whereas weisheng had them later in life, and cho was his younger child). seeing as jia’s estrangement from their family was due to their parents and weisheng had no beef with her, they reconnected properly a few years before the mckinnons died (except now marlene is alive again, adult!cho’s popped out of existence, and viv’s now got a teenage mother who doesn’t know her and also her mother’s dead war hero of a cousin. it’s a Time™ aight)

in fourth, year she once paid the quidditch commentator a galleon to call al “prefect potter” during an entire game and her defence to her mother was “listen he likes it and anyway it’s re-establishing his authority and reminding all the youths which one he is, as if they could forget a walking mountain”

(she does call him prefect potter)

v ride or die

loves dogs and magical creatures, hates birds and cats

just…. she’s tiny but believe she will fling herself at u if need be

an aries!! god no wonder she’s so competitive

SUUUUUPER into types of magic and magical knowledge like girl took way too many owls just bc she’s so fascinated in the nature of magic and how it can be used and magic from other cultures bc of how magical linguistics work and it definitely fed into her becoming a cursebreaker

v loyal friend but also highkey has excellent side eye for when ur being a dumbass

loves sugar quills and chaos

tends to take her time on some issues bc logically she sees pros and cons from both sides but when she makes an Emotional Decision™ on it, she’ll stand by it. until then, it’s mostly deliberating from a logical standpoint, which is prone to change with new info (things like joining the order tho are like… in her opinion, there’s nothing to debate with that?? like, that was the obvious right choice, it’s not something less clear cut)

dropped herbology and astronomy so fuckin quick after fifth year —- she liked neville a lot, but herbology is just not her cup of tea

stans viktor krum so fuckin hard

she has wanted connections that i will Think About More And Post but i have to send my ass to sleep asap

[ parental death tw ] her mum raised her by herself at first and then reconnected with her dad but he died when viv was about ten [ end parental death tw ]

scottish (always lived in glasgow area)

“swearing in a scottish accent is patriotic, minerva”

recalcitrant, reckless, harsh, impatient, unforgiving, highly critical, abrasive, sharp-tongued, blunt, not... super comforting

but also: loyal, ferocious, tough, determined, dauntless, quick-witted, unflinching, clever, dedicated, wry, perceptive, protective

currently dating al potter, timeline tbd (but recent-ish), lives w lily potter

travelled a bit/was in and out of the uk during her training but is Firmly Back Now other than any work trip she may have

re: time clash —- oof. ooooof. ok. well, not thrilled that her mother has, for all intents and purposes, disappeared. she realises that the cho currently around is literally her mother, but also she very much isn’t, and it’s a weird situation. trying to be there for her though, and also marlene & other mckinnons who have popped up, though from what she’s heard abt the mckinnon side of marlene’s family, she’s not super inclined to be welcoming (touched on in marls’ bio, but seeing as that’s only linked in discord bc her intro is still drafted for now, tl;dr is that the mckinnon grandparents were racist, mostly in the like... ‘i voted for obama!! how can i be racist, even w all these microaggressions??’ sorta way, though there were a few more Explicit Incidents). still, having her family around is weird, but it’s far, far from the worst of it all.

really interested in the actual logistics of the timeclash and is someone who is thinking abt the logical progressions that can occur from here, but also —- in line w being unforgiving, she’s... in theory, she does agree with the idea that you can’t punish someone for something they haven’t done yet. but she looks at people like theodore nott & peter pettigrew & that just burns away, and all the theory and thoughts go out the fucking window and she wants to step on them and grind them to dust with her heel.

character parallels: holly short (artemis fowl), maya hart (gmw), elizabeth swann (potc), zoë nightshade (pjo), leia organa (star wars), thalia grace (pjo), kat stratford (10 things i hate about you), patty (she’s out of my league), xena (xena warrior princess), paris geller (gilmore girls), isabelle lightwood (the shadowhunter chronicles), hands holloway (accepted), drainpipe edwards (vinyl 2012), james rhodes (marvel), and apparently fuckin’ legolas greenleaf lmfaaaaaaao [ many of these r from charactour so... watch me add some as actual ones come to mind, probably ]

#quantum intro #i feel like i'm missing things but?? i want one intro up at least dfgjldjal #it was gonna be marlene's but i'll try finish hers after work tomorrow #maybe ronan's too but his is like... a fucking Lot #emotionally speaking #parental death tw

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hungline · 5 years

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houses divided (and then united)

pairings: namjin, side jihope and taegi genre: fluff, mild angst, hp au, teenagers au, rated t warnings: confrontation of stereotypes, fem!taegi words: 3873

summary: Namjoon is pining after Head Boy Seokjin, but he might have to rethink his ideas about Houses first.

"What was that?"

Seokjin's response to Namjoon's worrisome question is a mere chuckle. Namjoon frowns, quietly offended that his concern is not being taken seriously, but there are more pressing matters at hand and so he decides to save it for later.

The noise comes again. The scuttling of movements across the newly polished corridor floors. Namjoon turns to the noise, barely catching the end of a cloak as he does.

"Hey!" Namjoon says in as loud of a whisper as he can. "Someone is right there!"

Seokjin shrugs his shoulders and steps forward in the direction that Namjoon is pointing, only to grab Namjoon by his robes and shove him forward. "Look."

"Stop it!" Namjoon whispers again. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to get you to look. That's not someone, it's someones," Seokjin says calmly, a bored expression on his face.

Namjoon swallows down his fear and looks back in the direction of the sound. He hears giggling now and hushed whispers. And is that? No, it can't be.

And yet, when Namjoon steps forward and peers into the corner, it is exactly that.

Gryffindor Fourth Year Hoseok Jung and Slytherin Third Year Jimin Park snogging without a care in the world.

Namjoon feels his ears heat up when Seokjin laughs.

"Afraid of gays now, Namjoon?" Seokjin says.

Hoseok and Jimin have either noticed they have an audience and don't care or are simply too wrapped up in one another to realize they've been found. Either way, Namjoon is now irritated as he turns on Seokjin.

"Of course not. What kind of ridiculous thing is that to say? Don't you know that I'm gay?" Namjoon snaps, his tone short of furious.

Seokjin just shrugs, his Head Boy badge gleaming in the light of the lanterns. "I'm gay too. No need to get your knickers all up in a twist."

"That's a horrid thing to say. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you get a free pass for saying slide sexist remarks like that. If you told Yoonji that, she’d slap you to the Forbidden Forest and back," Namjoon sniffs, trying his best to keep his end of the argument logical when really all he wants to do is run down the corridor, hollering and screaming.

It's no secret that everyone fancies the Slytherin Head Boy Seokjin Kim and as much as Namjoon would like it to be, it's no secret that he fancies the Slytherin King as well. And now, he knows for certain that Slytherin Head Boy Seokjin Kim is into blokes.

Still, as a fifth year Prefect pining after a sixth year Head Boy, Namjoon doesn't very well think his chances are all that grand. Really, he should be focusing on dealing out a punishment on Hoseok and Jimin, not having an internal meltdown. But Namjoon has always prioritized certain things over others.

"You know, I kind of envy them." Seokjin's voice brings Namjoon out of his thoughts, pushing him towards the situation at hand.

Seokjin sighs, a little wistfully if Namjoon is not mistaken and he's henceforth distracted by Seokjin's pretty, pretty mouth.

"Why do you say that?" Namjoon is grasping at straws here.

"They don't care about their house rivalry. They're just...together. I wish I could do that," Seokjin explains and Namjoon.

Namjoon blinks, completely flabbergasted.

"What."

"What?" Seokjin blinks back at him.

"You...what?"

Seokjin rolls his eyes and steps forward, tapping Jimin on the shoulder and clearing his throat loudly enough that neither boy can pretend they don't hear him. "Hey. If you two don't go back to your common rooms, I'm going to deduct points from both Gryffindor and Slytherin. Yes, Jimin, I would take points away from my own house. Get a move on."

Namjoon watches as the two grumble, join hands and run past the corner coming to a stop at the end of the next corridor and sharing a kiss before they part ways. Seokjin turns back to Namjoon with a smirk before he's whisking off in the opposite direction, not waiting for the younger to catch up.

"Wait!" Namjoon yells after him, debating whether to run or speedwalk.

He decides to just speed walk, knowing that if he ran, he'd fall flat on his face and that's something Namjoon very much does not want to do in front of his crush. Seokjin keeps walking, slowing his pace by only a margin.

"Were you serious back there?" Namjoon asks, still a bit far from the elder.

"Serious about what? Deducting points from my own House? Of course not," Seokjin scoffs.

Namjoon almost trips on the ends of his robes and rights himself quickly, panting a little as Seokjin continues to walk down the corridor at a brisk pace. "You know that's not what I meant."

Seokjin stops suddenly, grunting when Namjoon slams into him from behind and grips the wall beside him to keep from falling on his face. "Geeze, can you at least watch where you're going? I might have broad shoulders, but that doesn't mean I can support your weight on them."

"I'm not even on your shoulders! What are you talking about?" Namjoon asks, out of breath and stepping away from the elder.

"What are you talking about? You supposedly had a question and now you're assaulting me instead!"

"I didn't assault you!"

"Yeah, okay, whatever," Seokjin responds, beginning to walk again.

Namjoon stares after him, confused on whether he should follow or not. They're supposed to be roaming the corridors as part of their Head Boy and Prefect duties, but Namjoon never expected them to do it together if he was being honest. Generally, the Head Boy and Girl would do patrols together. Instead, Namjoon is here with Seokjin while Yoonji is roaming the dungeons and lower floors with Head Girl Joohyun Bae, or Irene as most of the Seventh Years know her as. Namjoon still isn't sure that he likes this arrangement.

Seokjin looks back over his shoulder with an annoyed expression aimed at Namjoon and Namjoon hurries after him. They're quiet for awhile, shoes squeaking against the floor and robes billowing around them. Namjoon admires Seokjin's shoulders and has to agree that though they're broad, Seokjin wouldn't be able to support Namjoon's weight. Not that Namjoon was thinking about sitting on Seokjin's shoulders anyway, he's just thinking about what's already been pointed out to him.

"About before, I really do admire them though." Seokjin's voice cuts through the air, interrupting the silence that had been surrounding them for the past three corridors.

Namjoon nods, keeping his eyes on the corridor in front of them. "I don't. Their house rivalry would get in the way a lot of things. It'll probably be the reason they break up actually."

Seokjin scoffs. "You're such a pessimist. Let those two have their happiness. Being in opposing Houses doesn't mean anything when it comes to love between two people."

"I'm only being realistic! We're all very young and I don't see how a relationship that begins when we're children will last until we're adults. As teenagers who are easily influenced by social standards and our fellow peers, it's more than likely that either Hoseok or Jimin will let what their Houses say about each other get in the way of their feelings and break things off."

Seokjin stops in his stride, turning to face Namjoon as the younger pauses as well. "I see why you got bumped up a grade now. But I don't think it's your place to say that of those two. Their relationship is their own and the only thing we have to worry about when it comes to Hoseok and Jimin is making sure they aren't having nightly rendezvous while we're on patrol. Got it?"

Namjoon nods, not saying a word as Seokjin glares at him, the elder's gaze intense. Namjoon would be lying if he said he wasn't a tiny bit afraid of what the elder would do to him if he pissed him off. Still, he knows that Seokjin isn't through with this topic yet.

"And anyway, I can't believe you'd use a House rivalry as your reasoning. You do realize that being Sorted into Houses is actually the stupidest thing Hogwarts can do, right? We're categorized into Houses for certain traits we possess that are similar to others, only to be judged for those same traits from other Houses. This only further allows stereotypes to control our lives and limit us from seeing people for who they really are, not the House they come from. We use Houses to judge the type of character a person may have while not actually paying attention and forming a judgment by ourselves on the person's actual character. It's pretty demeaning when you think about it."

And Namjoon, he can't argue with that. He knows Seokjin is right. He should've thought of this himself really, but Namjoon doesn't always see every side of things the first time around. It's, well, a bit refreshing to see this perspective about Sorting.

Namjoon blinks, a bit entranced by Seokjin. His reasoning is solid and all Namjoon can even think to say is, "Shit. You're right."

Seokjin laughs, a high-pitched sound that resembles windshield wipers and Namjoon is smitten. But he's also embarrassed, he didn't mean to say that out loud after all. Still, Seokjin's laugh is definitely worth it.

"Come on, Genius. Let's finish this patrol," Seokjin chuckles, his face wrinkled in laugh lines as he starts to walk again.

Namjoon follows after him, fighting back a smile as he thinks about how pretty Seokjin looks and sounds like when he laughs.

“So,” Yoonji says as she slides in beside Namjoon at the Ravenclaw table the morning of the Slytherin vs Ravenclaw Quidditch game. “When are you going to tell Seokjin you like him?”

“When are you going to tell Taeyeon you like her?” Namjoon shoots back, not bothering to look up from his eggs as he continues to eat.

Yoonji scoffs. "I already did."

Namjoon looks up, surprised. "When? What did she say?"

"That she likes me too, is in love with me, wants to get married and adopt seven dogs and name one after you 'cause you're hopeless and will never confess to Seokjin, yadda yadda ya," Yoonji replies, inspecting her nails as Namjoon eyes her warily.

"Okay, besides all that other stuff, did she really say she likes you back?"

Yoonji smiles and nods. "Yep. We're official now. Going to announce it after the match."

Namjoon blinks. "Won't people be upset? I mean, this is a match between your Houses after all."

"Fuck what other people say, they can all go to bloody hell for what I care. You need to get your head out of those clouds and confess to Seokjin already. You've liked him for, what? Two years now?" Yoonji says in a rush, a hint of anger underlying her tone.

Namjoon shrugs, going back to his food. "I don't think he's interested in me either way."

Yoonji rolls her eyes. "Yes, that is totally the reason he asked everybody in Slytherin about you."

"He did what?"

"Keep up, would you? This isn't rocket science. He asked around about you. He is obviously interested."

Namjoon shakes his head. "No, that can't be it. He probably just wants to get dirt on me to get back at me for the argument we had the other night."

"Joon–"

Whatever Yoonji may have been about to say is interrupted when Taeyeon plants herself beside Yoonji and presses a kiss to her cheek.

"Hey, love," Taeyeon says, before noticing Namjoon and smiling at him. "Hey, Joon."

"Hey, Tae," Namjoon nods, returning back to his breakfast once more.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting, Tae. Had to talk to Joon here about growing a pair," Yoonji apologizes to her girlfriend.

Taeyeon only laughs, smoothing Yoonji's dark hair back. "It's fine. I'm well aware of Namjoon's predicament."

Namjoon looks up, startled. As far as he knows, he's only ever told Yoonji about his crush. He isn't sure how a Fourth Year in his own House figured out he's taken a fancy to the Head Boy. Or maybe it was just Yoonji blabbing her big mouth again.

When Namjoon glares over at Yoonji, her expression is blank, carefully calculated and Namjoon groans.

"Never trust a Slytherin," he mutters to himself, then immediately blanches when he remembers the point that Seokjin brought up about Houses reinforcing stereotypes.

“We’ll see you at the pitch, right?” Taeyeon asks as she stands, taking Yoonji up with her and drawing Namjoon out of his thoughts.

Namjoon nods absently. “Yeah. Sure. See you there.”

Taeyeon nods and begins to walk, holding her hand out for Yoonji to take. They join hands and Namjoon gazes after them, a bit wistful, imagining how Seokjin’s hand might feel held in his own.

"Namjoon, Tae told me to come get you."

Namjoon jumps what feels like a foot into the air when Third Year Hufflepuff Jeongguk Jeon taps his shoulder and speaks. His voice is quiet and calm and Namjoon turns to face him slowly, doing his best to calm his nerves as he comes face-to-face with Jeongguk's patient expression.

"Taeyeon sent you to fetch me did she?" Namjoon asks, his brow quirked up in a question.

Jeongguk nods. "Something about making sure you grow a pair and confess to a certain Slytherin Head Boy."

"Does literally everybody know about this?" Namjoon groans, running a hand over his face as Jeongguk laughs.

It really doesn't help that Namjoon has only just noticed that said Slytherin Head Boy in question is gazing at him from the nearly empty Slytherin table. Namjoon looks away quickly, offering Jeongguk a smile as the younger boy offers him a hand up. Namjoon takes it and mutters a thanks, doing his best to remember what he knows about Jeongguk.

There's a tiny beat of silence between them when Namjoon stands, abandoning his almost finished plate of food, and the two realize that their hands are still joined together. Jeongguk blushes and quickly releases Namjoon's hand, shooting him a shy smile as he quips his head in the direction of the Entrance Hall.

"We should get a move on. Taeyeon said I have to bring you to where she and Yoonji will be sitting."

Namjoon nods, falling into step behind the Hufflepuff boy as they navigate their way past a group of rowdy Second Years from Gryffindor. It's as they walk, that Namjoon feels a heavy set of eyes on him and vividly remembers the first time he heard of Jeongguk's existence.

It wasn't an important event, but still, a Second Year Hufflepuff making the Quidditch team, breaking Namjoon's high score on the end-of-the-year Potions exam and successfully keeping Peeves from dropping Dungbombs on a class of Second Year Hufflepuffs and Slytherins during their History of Magic class are all things that made Jeongguk stand out. Hufflepuffs aren't very known for bringing attention to themselves, most kids who don't fit in with any other Houses always end up there anyway.

Jeongguk though, he holds a little bit of every House within him. The cleverness of a Ravenclaw, the persuasion of a Slytherin, and the competitiveness of a Gryffindor.

Namjoon is still quite confused how Jeongguk even ended up in Hufflepuff anyway, but considering what Seokjin said about Sorting, maybe he should just let go of those certain ideas he's placed upon Houses. Seokjin is right, a person's House forces people into thinking a certain way about them and when they don't fit that image, suddenly that person is strange and abnormal.

Seokjin is right and Namjoon feels like a complete jackass now.

A hand grips onto his arm, pulling Namjoon out of his thoughts and he's spun around only to find the same boy who's been plaguing his mind and making him rethink his entire way of interacting with students from other Houses.

"Hello, Namjoon." Seokjin's voice is low and quiet, doing an outstanding job of preventing anyone else but Namjoon from hearing him. "I was wondering if you could spare me a moment to talk?"

Namjoon looks back at Jeongguk who's turned around to stare at them, his wide eyes boring holes into Namjoon and Seokjin. Seokjin still has a hand on his arm standing much too close than what is normally accepted and either hasn't noticed yet, or he has noticed and decided to do nothing about it. It's not like Namjoon is complaining either way.

"Er, yeah, okay," Namjoon hears himself say, looking back over his shoulder to wave Jeongguk along. "Gukk, I'll catch up with you in a minute. Tell Tae I'll be there so she doesn't send a search party."

Jeongguk's expression is unreadable, but when Namjoon offers him a grin, Jeongguk shoots him one back immediately. "Alright. I'll save you a seat. See you soon!"

Namjoon watches Jeongguk run off, only pulled back to the matter at hand when Seokjin starts dragging him in the opposite direction. "Wow. Where are we going?"

"Somewhere more private. I don't know if you've noticed, but we both tend to accumulate a few stalkers wherever we go," Seokjin responds easily, eyes set on whatever path he's put before him.

Namjoon follows silently behind him, barely breaking a sweat in order to keep up with the elder's pace. They walk in the direction that Namjoon came in, but instead, take the stairs leading to the dungeons where the Slytherin common room resides. Namjoon pats himself on the back for not falling flat on his face yet and it must have something to do with the fact that Seokjin's hand has readily slid down Namjoon's arm, now encircled around his wrist, and it doesn't surprise Namjoon when Seokjin's fingers interlace with his, his palm warm and strong against Namjoon's own calloused one.

What does surprise him is when Seokjin breaks into a run, not stopping once to look over his shoulder and see how Namjoon is doing. Namjoon struggles to keep up, almost tripping on his robe a few times before Seokjin skids to a stop and easily slides them into a broom closet, closing the door quickly and quietly behind them.

"What–"

"Shh," Seokjin mouths as he clamps a hand down on Namjoon's mouth.

Namjoon stares at the older boy, eyes widening when rapid footsteps run past them, continuing on down the corridor until they eventually fade away. Seokjin drops his hand and takes a step back, giving Namjoon as much room as he can in the tiny space they've enclosed themselves in.

"How did you know someone was following us?" Namjoon asks, it being the first thing he can think of to break the silence.

Seokjin only shrugs, smiling at Namjoon as he does. "Someone is always following me, but this time, it was one your admirers."

Namjoon sputters. "My admirers? I don't have any admirers."

"I beg to differ. I know of everyone who would like to date you, and let me tell you, the list is very, very long," Seokjin responds, a sour expression on his face. "Of course, they all have to get in line, because I'm at the top of the list."

Namjoon blinks, completely dumbfounded by Seokjin Kim once again. "What?"

"I. Like. You." Seokjin says his words carefully, emphasizing each word as he speaks as if he didn't, then Namjoon wouldn't understand what he's saying.

But Namjoon really doesn't understand what he's saying at all. "What?"

Seokjin laughs and takes Namjoon's hand. "I've been meaning to tell you for awhile, but I like you. I fancy you. I want to snog you in between classes and hold your hand during Quidditch games and take you out on dates in Hogsmeade."

"You...like...me?" Namjoon asks carefully, struggling to find the right words to say.

"Yes, bonehead. For one of the smartest people in this school, you don't seem very bright."

"Hey!" Namjoon exclaims, blushing when Seokjin immediately shushes him for being too loud. "There's no need for any of that. I'm just...surprised."

"And why would you be?"

Namjoon shrugs, averting his gaze. "I don't really expect the person I'm crushing on to confess to me before I can. I mean, I don't really expect anyone to confess to me ever."

Seokjin shakes his head, smiling with amusement twinkling in his eyes. "You must not pay attention to your surroundings then. I can tell you as a fact that wherever you go, there's always someone following close behind, in the hopes that you'll finally notice them."

"I don't really believe, but whatever you say, I suppose," Namjoon responds, his fingers twisting into the ends of his robe's sleeves nervously.

"Anyway, back to the more important matter at hand," Seokjin says, still smiling as he waves his hand. "So I like you and apparently, you like me as well. So, what should we do about that?"

Namjoon blinks. "Er–"

"I'll tell you what we could do about that," Seokjin interrupts him. "We could snog in this broom closet and then hold hands to the pitch. We could agree to start seeing each other exclusively and gradually work our way up to snogging and holding hands if you're not that kind of person who jumps into things. Or, we could do nothing at all and agree to just be friends."

Namjoon considers his options, already knowing his decision as soon as Seokjin had uttered it.

"I think I like the first option best," Namjoon whispers, thankful for the low lighting of the broom closet they're standing in, hoping that the darkness hides his blush.

Seokjin's smile is bright in the relative darkness, coming closer as Namjoon finishes speaking and before he knows it, Seokjin's chest is pressed to his own. Hands grip his waist and bring him even closer to the elder. They're about the same height, with Namjoon being only slightly taller than the elder, but he knows that with time, he his height will soon overshadow that of the Head Boy's.

"Yeah, I like that one best too," Seokjin breathes and Namjoon swears he can feel Seokjin's lips moving across his own, a tiny bit of space in between them.

Namjoon's arms circle around Seokjin's neck, pulling himself closer to the elder. Their chests bump against one another, both sturdy and strong and Namjoon smiles as Seokjin's lips envelop his own. The elder's lips are soft and warm, plush against plush, and Namjoon loses himself in Seokjin.

"Bloody hell, he actually did it," Yoonji whispers to Taeyeon as Namjoon and Seokjin stroll onto the pitch, hand-in-hand with swollen lips and considerably noticeable mussed up hair.

Taeyeon laughs and stands up, waving her arms to catch Namjoon's attention. Namjoon smiles as he sees her, turning to say something to the Head Boy before they both make their way towards the stand that Taeyeon and Yoonji are sitting at.

"I knew he had it in him," Taeyeon says as she sits down, grabbing hold of Yoonji's hand again. "It's about time anyway. I'm still upset about Hoseok and Jimin getting together before you and I did though."

Yoonji laughs, pressing a kiss to her girlfriend's cheek. "Trust me, you're not the only one."

#namjin #k connect network #hyunglinenetwork #jinseoknet #kwritersworldnet #kwordsmiths #btsguild #betareadernet #bts #fluff #p:seokjin/namjoon #f:hd(&tu)#m: fic

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itmeansvictory · 5 years

Note

🖋 + hogwarts

ok this took a lot of thought because it turns out I haven’t actually given victoire’s hogwarts day enough thinking. so this is gonna be a LOT messier than my responses to this meme before akakncjcbejchejf

first thing’s first - hogwarts was kind of a scary period of time. because like think about it - she is always surrounded by family members. there’s never a time she’s without another weasley or potter. until she’s at hogwarts. it’s a good few years before someone else in the family comes along to school, and by that point victoire has already found her place. so the beginning was terrifying for this girl. she went from being one in a whole pack to being the only one of her fam around. and for someone whose identity practically revolved around that family, that’s a tough transition. she went from being surrounded by people who loved her at all times to being surrounded by strangers.

strangers which knew her as a member of a famous family and therefore may have had opinions and thoughts on her family. vic knows she’s luckily to not be the kid of like the golden trio or whatever but she’s the kid of a triwizard champion and one of the many ginger weasleys. there’s still this stigma that’s going to follow when you’re related to infamous people. and that’s uncomfortable. some snotty nose kid probably asked her if she’s a weasley “then why aren’t you a ginger?” channeling their karen smith. she probably had a tough time being a hufflepuff because no other cousins came before her and paved the way for “non-gryffindor weasleys”. that’s something she dealt with first and therefore was pretty insecure about at the beginning of first year.

she’s not a rambunctious or even a gregarious kid, so making friends wasn’t easy at first. it took a moment to get comfortable in her house and without family before she got over her social anxiety and made any friends. and she made solid ones, and they became the new people for her to nurture and ‘mom’. yes even at eleven she was being a fucking mom to people. she has one identity, it’s mom. wbk. it’s takes pretty special people to befriend the boring mom type who tries to convince everyone to abide by the rules and to not wander after curfew, or who chastises friends for eating too many bertie bott’s at once. and she was totally a bit of a drag. she’s responsible and practical and a good egg through and through - she’s not the one to suggest sneaking out after hours for any reason. she also doesn’t condone it, but she sure as hell is gonna go along when her friends insist. “someone’s gotta make sure you guys don’t get in trouble and cost us any points!” truth be told, she isn’t the best at being left out but I digress - a total bore but was willing to tag along bc peer pressure.

I want to say she mellowed out eventually but that’s not victoire. she grew out of the paranoia but was still just too responsible to be a part of all the trouble. I mean this girl was totally aiming to become a prefect once she learned about what they were her first year. and she was very dedicated to her academics and those house points. she also felt a responsibility to being a good role model. sure none of her little weasley-potters were at hogwarts yet, but she didn’t want to leave school with a reputation that could eventually get to them and give them the wrong idea of their elder. she wanted to leave behind a respectable legacy. sue her. that’s why she was a prefect for two years and head student her last - who else to keep her peers in line than the saintly mom of hufflepuff?

yes she was in quidditch, but just for a couple years. she really loved quidditch. the pitch is the only place she’s ever let loose and shown any sort of competitive or aggressive side. she wanted to be a chaser originally but found she had a skill with a bat so she ended up playing as hufflepuff’s beater for a handful of years. she’s not a dainty little thing, she’s always had upper body strength and quick reflexes. it surprised a lot of people then, and even now, to hear the warm and tender victoire played in a position that’s typically male-dominated and overly aggressive, but she takes a bit of pride in that. she didn’t last long, though, and that’s because of a couple reasons. she felt there were other extracurriculars that would prove more important to her future and stopped playing quidditch during her last couple years. but also she had a hard time having to hit the bludgers towards players on the rival team, and was known to call out apologies even if she didn’t hit them.

she was in a few clubs during her hogwarts years, ever enthusiastic to be involved. frog choir, s.p.e.w., art club, herbology club, charms, gobstones - you name it, she was likely a part of it at some point. spending several months cooped up in a castle 24/7 with barely any escape meant you needed to fill your time and vic was a busy body. it’s the only way she learned to socialize in a world without cousins and close family friends. of course some circles proved to be more socially acceptable than others - gobstones for one was always kind of the ‘loser’ club, truth be known. but victoire enjoyed learning things and engaging with people over their passions.

did not date. like ever. not properly anyway. I think she got asked out a fair amount. I think she struggles with saying no to people. but I think she never let things develop. as mentioned before, she feels like being part veela comes with the disadvantage of people being attracted to you without really knowing you, and so she had a tendency to always friendzone perspective lovers. she’s also....,,,,.,.......,,,,, kinda dense when it comes to romantic advances??? she’s not a romantic person herself - like yeah she wanted to settle down some day but she was never crazy about that stuff. she didn’t have these romantic notions about dating and stuff. did not have a wedding pinterest board (shocker). her first kiss was probably a total hack, like it probably happened in the common room at 1 am while playing spin the bottle with friends like second or third year or something. yah it took until hogwarts because she hardly socialized with kids her age before then. and I sincerely think this girl is entirely oblivious to anyone showing interest in her. so active teenage love life? sorry she doesn’t know her. she’s incredibly confused by her cousins/siblings who date at all as students. “don’t you guys have homework?” idk how this girl got married and had a baby tbh

she definitely had like rivals and people she didn’t get along with but let it be known that victoire weasley absolutely tried to win everyone over with fresh baked pastries because she struggles with animosity and has this need to at least be on civil terms with most of her peers. so she spent a lot of nights in the kitchens making single serving pies and brownies and what have you in order to buy her rivals’ civility. it didn’t work a lot of the time, but at least she had chocolate to handle the aftermath of any scathing remarks sent her way. girl cannot shit talk for her life okay? she can’t handle mean people. wbk.

she says she did great at all classes but that’s totally not true. barely passed divination and arithmancy - the latter kind of interesting considering she went on to do curse-breaking for gringott’s. but overall she was a strong student. she excelled at classes like charms, history of magic, study of ancient runes, and herbology in particular, but did study dada and potions at the newt level despite not being the best at them.

got detention once in fifth year for “supposedly” being part of the party inciting a food fight and dung bomb war in the great hall. to this day she claims her innocence and that she was merely “acting as a prefect attempting to stop things from going awry” and is forever bitter about that one blemish in her school career.

honestly debated becoming a professor bc she wanted to be there for all the cousins who didn’t overlap school with her (bc by my calculations only two of them did???) but also like how embarrassing would that have been?? imagine getting caught by your older cousin snogging in some empty class room or fornicating in a broom closet. victoire already nags from afar - imagine having a second mom to nag you at hogwarts. you’re welcome guys.

#&& answered.#edit: IDK what happened to the ask #but I tried to fix it??#I wasn’t prepared to answer this apparently

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the-demelza-robins · 6 years

Text

on the rarity of sunshowers (jily)

notes: no matter how hard I try, I always come back to hogwarts!jily...

words: 3.7k

James is jumpier then usual. Lily notices at breakfast; notices how he almost stabs his toast when he tries to butter it, how he catches his snitch twenty-six times in nine minutes, how he says, “Alright, Evans?” on no less than three separate occasions (not that she minds). He fidgets enough that Sirius threatens to expel him to the first years’ seats on the far side of the table, something that causes him to attempt to hold his breath in a bid for stillness until he’s turning blue, and Lily has to resuscitate him with her wand (not that she minds). He runs his fingers through his hair so that it looks even more messy than usual. He asks Lily to Hogsmeade, and when she declines, he says, “Just joking”, and her heart aches. She wants to accept his offer, but she can’t be sure it’s a genuine one. And she must be sure.

The fact is that she has fancied James Potter far too long — a year now, starting in year six all the way up to this rainy day in December — for anything to happen. It’s a cruel twist of fate, the way that their doomed love story worked out. Lily despises it for a number of reasons, the first and foremost being that perhaps the best comeback of her life, when she’d swore she preferred the giant squid to James Potter, was no longer true - in fact, it was a blatant lie, the most opposite of the truth she could get. She would take James Potter over most things, now, including her sister.

Though perhaps that wasn’t saying much, seeing as her sister hadn’t invited her to her wedding. Apparently it had been a simple affair, a quiet wedding on the countryside. Lily could imagine it: Vernon’s new car parked close enough that the guests could still admire it but far enough away that it could melt into the hills, a cake, short vows, a proper bride. Music, but not too much, and a big, white tent with turrets that would blend in with the overcast clouds above.

Yes, Lily could picture it. But that was all she could do, because she hadn’t been invited and, as were the natural progressions of such things, had not attended. What made the situation worse was that, because of Lily’s absence, none of Petunia’s family had been there on her wedding day. Still, Lily reasoned, it was Petunia’s choice.

Petunia blamed Lily for a lot of things, the most important of which being the death of their parents. When the news of their deaths had first broke, Lily had told her sister they’d died in a car accident, and in a way they had, since their car had been blown up by Death Eaters. It had turned into a rather large scandal when Petunia was informed of the truth by way of Snape, who set about destroying Lily’s life once he realized she’d never talk to him again. Petunia had been hurt, but instead of channeling the hurt into anger and the anger into action, like Lily would’ve done, Petunia had spat and stomped and called names that Snape must’ve also taught her, names like mud-

Well. No use thinking about any of that now. Lily turns her attention back to Marlene’s nervous assessment of the weather, the way that her best friend twists with the promise ring she’d received from her Durmstrang boyfriend as she looks up at the enchanted ceiling. “No clouds, just rain, a sunshower…”

Lily wonders why this matters; seeing as they don’t have Herbology or Care of Magical Creatures (it’s a Saturday), there’s no reason for them to go outside. Lily, for one, has been planning on curling up by the fire in the Gryffindor common room and reading The Shining, a muggle book that had been her father’s last gift to her. She finds it quite intense, but on a day like today, with the rain pattering against the window, she thinks it’d be nice to escape to another world, a world where the supernatural only existed in the Overlook Hotel… She let her thoughts drift again, back to her father, who would tell her and Tuney stories before bed until she insisted she’d outgrown them. There had been one, she remembered, that involved dragons, and a little boy who was fighting them, cheered on by people in the clouds. What she’d give to hear one of his stories again…

“Lily! Are you even listening to a word I’m saying?”

The world comes back into focus again as Dorcas snaps her fingers in front of Lily’s face repeatedly.

“Of course,” she responds hotly, flinching away from her friend’s fingers. It’s a lie, of course, but she’s been lying a lot lately and now do so without thinking and without giving anything away.

“Then will you please answer my question?”

Across the table, James and Sirius are now debating heatedly. Lupin and Peter are looking on with expressions of mild amusement. Lily wonders what they’re talking about.

“Hello?” Dorcas says. “My question: will you bring the sign for the game, or will I?”

“What game?” Lily asks, and she knows she’s made a mistake as soon as the words have left her mouth. James and Sirius stop their conversation and stare, open-mouthed, at her, something that she hasn’t seen them do in quite a while.

“What game?” James echoes disbelievingly, his snitch buzzing around his head like those birds in the cartoons Lily used to watch when she was younger.

In fact, the snitch is going so fast that watching it is making Lily dizzy, so she closes her eyes for a few seconds and says, “Will you please control your snitch? I’m getting nauseous.”

“Give it to me, mate,” she hears Sirius say, and the sounds of James’s muffled protests bring a smile to her face. They’ve forgotten her slip-up, or at least she thinks they have. For now she’s remembered what she missed, and she can’t believe she’d been that stupid. She opens her eyes and turns to Dorcas. “I’ll bring the sign.”

Her friend nodded, something like relief crossing her face. “Thanks, Lily.”

Marlene, however, doesn’t look as pleased. All nerves from before - Lily realizes why her friend had been nervous, it was because she was Gryffindor’s keeper - have vanished as she questions her friend. “Why were you zoning out?”

Because James is sitting across from her, and sometimes his knee accidentally touches hers. Because Petunia is still not talking to her, and though Lily is strong enough to handle it, her sister had gotten married for Merlin’s sake and she hadn’t been invited. Because her parents are dead and The Shining is scary and sometimes she just wants to hear her father tell her a story before bed like he used to…

“Just tired,” Lily responds, flashing her friend a quick smile before standing up. “I think I forgot something upstairs. I’ll be back.”

“Quidditch starts in twenty minutes!” Dorcas hollers after her receding form.

“Oh, Merlin, we’d better get going…” James says, and then Lily’s out of earshot and alone with her thoughts. She takes her familiar path up to Gryffindor tower, thankful that everyone else is either at breakfast or on the pitch. She needs time to reset, time to stop the ever-growing lump in her throat before her eyes get watery. It’s happening more and more lately, that terrible feeling that surfaces when Lily thinks about everything, really thinks about it - Petunia, the wedding, Voldemort, her feelings for James - that terrible feeling that summons tears to her eyes almost immediately. At this point, she’s running on fumes, trying to keep up with everything in her personal life, plus schoolwork, plus being Head Girl.

By the time she convinces herself that everything is fine, she’s reached the Fat Lady. With the muttered mention of treacle tarts, the portrait swings open to admit her, and Lily climbs into the common room. Like the rest of the castle, it’s empty save for a few cats curled up on the comfier armchairs, but Lily pays them no mind as she crosses the space and walks up the stairs to the girls’ dormitories. She finds the sign that Dorcas had in mind quickly — it was furled on her friend’s bed, its letters flashing red and gold at a speed that was guaranteed to give Lily a migraine — and lets herself stop in front of the mirror on her way out. Her eyes aren’t damp, which is good, and her face isn’t flushed. She shows no outward sign of distress, which she supposes is a point in her favor. It’s taken her a long time to control her feelings (which is a mushy word for those urges she gets to cry all night or yell mindless insults) — fifth year and below were a time when no one was safe from Lily Evans’ temper — but the war has hardened her, made her less accessible than she ever was.

She hears the cheer of the Quidditch crowd and knows she’s late. Grabbing the sign, she sprints from the dormitories to the common room, from the common room to the portrait hole, from the portrait hole to the entrance hall, and from the entrance hall to the pitch. It’s almost impossible to spot her friends in the sea of red-and-gold clad Gryffindors in the stands, so she resigns herself to sitting alone in the first seat she can find. The sign pulses underneath her cold fingers, and as the paper gets populated with tiny raindrops, she remembers that it’s raining.

“Lily!” She looks over at the sound of her voice to find Dorcas waving at her three rows up. “Come sit with us!”

Lily obliges, and once she’s sat down, she hands the sign to Dorcas, who thrusts it in the air immediately. “You’re seriously out of it today — YES, MARLENE! GO LIONS! —, did you know that?”

“Maybe,” Lily mumbles, her eyes searching the pitch for a certain Chaser. When she can’t find him, she turns back to her friend, conscious of Remus and Peter listening in.

“Can I ask why?” “No.”

Dorcas looks like she’s about to respond, but before she can, the sky rumbles and truly opens up in a way that suggests that the morning’s sunshower was just a prelude to the storm that is about to occur. The Quidditch players seem like nothing more than streaks through the sheets of rain that tumble down, and Lily finds herself soaked to the bone.

“Did you pack an umbrella?” Dorcas asks, looking similarly wet.

Lily shakes her head.

“I did,” a new voice says, and Lily’s surprised to see that Mary Macdonald has been sitting on the other side of Dorcas the whole time. Though Mary is a Gryffindor in their year, Lily has never had a meaningful conversation with her — in fact, Lily thinks she’s talked more with Hufflepuffs — for she’s a very quiet girl whose nose can most often be found in a book. Besides, Lily had never felt the need to amass more friends; Dorcas and Marlene had always been more than enough, compensating not only for Lily’s lack of friends earlier in life but also for Petunia’s absence, once the sisters’ relationship had reached that point. Lily sometimes felt a little guilty that she didn’t know Mary or Alice Fortescue, the fifth occupant of their dormitory, as well, but comforted herself in the fact that the latter had never been very eager to make friends with her, seeing as her best friend had always been Frank Longbottom.

Now, though, Lily is extremely grateful for Mary Macdonald, especially as she produces a very large umbrella and opens it, shielding the three of them from the rain.

“Thank you,” Dorcas says, and Lily echoes her. She can barely hear Amos Diggory’s commentary over the sound of rain hitting the ground, and she has no idea what the score is. Still, she tries to focus on the game, but as soon as she does so, the players all drift downward and touch the ground.

“What’s going on?”

“Gryffindor’s called a time out, I think,” Mary says so quietly that the sound of the rain almost carries her voice away.

It’s a split-second decision, but one that Lily makes with very little difficulty. She’s tired, tired of everything in her life, but one thing she’s especially tired of is hiding. Hiding her watery eyes and flushed face; hiding her anger with Snape, left over from when he first called her that word; tired of hiding how she much she hurts and aches; tired of hiding how she feels when James Potter’s knee touches hers underneath the crowded breakfast table. She’s tired of it all, and she knows how to alleviate some of the exhaustion.

She stands up, and the rain batters her. The time-out has not yet ended, and now that she’s higher up, she can see the scoreboard: it’s 0-60, Slytherin.

“Where are you going?” Dorcas asks, a look of concern on her face. “You’ll freeze.”

“Down,” Lily replies, her heart pounding loudly in her chest. “I’ll be back soon.” With that, she races to the pitch, the rain pelting her back as she reaches the muddy field. She can see him now, the way he’s talking to his team, the look on his face suggesting the relentless optimism he’s trying to instill in his teammates.

When she’s ten feet away, he sees her. His mouth stops forming words, and he stares. “Lily?”

“James,” she says, and the whole team is watching her now, maybe even the whole pitch, but it doesn’t feel that way. She notices his misty glasses (it’s a wonder he even saw her coming) and keeps walking towards him. The team breaks their huddle to let her through, their eyes on her wearily, no doubt wondering why she’s so, so close to their captain…

James breathes in deeply — she’s close enough to hear it — and says, “Lily, what are you —”

She lifts her hand and takes off his glasses, and he blinks.

“Impervius”, she whispers (she’s always had a knack for wandless magic, something she’s very proud of), and his lenses clear up immediately.

“It repels water,” she says by way of explanation. She hands the glasses back to him, and he puts them on.

“Right. Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“Oi! Are we gonna play Quidditch or not?” yells the Seeker for the team (Lily doesn’t remember his name, only that he’s a fourth year and apparently doesn’t care that he’s stopped her from saying something impulsive, like I love you or I’m sorry).

“Please win,” she says instead, and walks off the pitch, feeling James’s eyes on her.

***

The final score is 200-70, Gryffindor, and Lily finds that she’s not quite as annoyed at the Seeker as she was during the time-out. Dorcas peppers her with questions almost as soon as the match is over — “Lily, what did you do to James?” being the most notable one — but Lily ignores her, because that moment felt private, even with countless eyes on them.

Marlene rushes right at them, only pausing at the last second to laugh at how terrified they both look at the sight of her. She’s muddy and grinning, and sweeps them into a hug immediately, covering them in mud and letting the heavy rain immediately clear it from their skin. Dorcas starts to complain about the clothing stains she’ll get from the mud, but Lily can tell that she doesn’t really care.

“Party in the common room!” Marlene almost screams, and Dorcas mutters something about how she’ll be deaf by the time she’s thirty, but Marlene doesn’t care and Lily doesn’t either, for she feels happy for the first time in quite awhile. When the hug finally ends, Lily looks at Marlene again, abandoning all subtlety.

“Has James left the changing rooms yet?”

Marlene smirks. “He was packing up his things when I left.”

“I’ll be back,” Lily replies, leaving Dorcas looking positively scandalized.

***

The walk to the changing rooms takes about a minute and a quarter, but to Lily it feels much longer. She shoulders through the crowd of happy Gryffindors and defeated Slytherins, trying to control her loudly beating heart. She knows that James is still in the changing rooms, knows because she can feel it and also because no overzealous Gryffindors are lifting him triumphantly on their shoulders.

She reaches the door to the structure and knocks twice. It’s opened, almost immediately, by James, his bag swung over his shoulder, broomstick in hand.

As soon as he processes who it is, his smile turns into a frown. “Lils? What are you doing here?”

Lily looks around the room, making sure that they’re alone. When she sees that they are, she closes the door, takes a shuddering breath, and turns to him. “Good job today.”

“Thanks,” he says, dropping his bag and broomstick and sitting on the bench in the middle of the room. “Is something wrong?”

She twists her fingers together. “James, I’ve been wanting to say this for awhile now, and —”

He cuts her off, standing up again bench and moving towards her. He puts his hands on her shoulders and looks right at her, and Oh Merlin, those eyes — “Lily, are you okay?”

“I’m not, but that’s not the point. Ever since sixth year, I’ve —”

“You’re not okay? What’s going on? You have been seeming off lately, I was going to ask —”

“James, would you please just listen to me!”

“Right, er, sorry.” He takes his hands off her shoulders and leans back a little, and Lily misses his closeness.

“Ever since the sixth year — and I know this’ll be hard for you to believe, but, well, here it is — ever since the sixth year I’ve had feelings for you, and at first I thought that they would pass, but it’s been a year, James, and I —”

He closes his eyes. “Lily —”

“James, would you please let me finish, I promise I’ll bugger off after —”

He opens his eyes, adjusts his glasses. “Lily, you don’t understand.” His hands find her waist, and Lily realizes that she’s misinterpreted his response. “Since fifth year,” he whispers, and she feels something opening inside of her, like the sun peaking through the clouds, “since fifth year, Lily, I’ve liked you a lot more than I should admit.”

She looks up at him. They’re so close, in more ways than one; Lily can feel them standing on the edge of something amazing, can feel James’s hands on her back, can feel the way he’s leaning in ever so slightly. “I’m glad we’ve got that settled, then,” she whispers.

He smiles, and then he kisses her. It’s nothing like Lily would have expected, no awkward moment when they’re trying to figure out how to hold each other, where to put their hands — in fact, to Lily’s overloaded and dazzled mind, it’s like they just fit, like they’re picking up from where they left off in a past life. She doesn’t think about this too much, though, because James is pulling her closer and she’s wrapping her arms around his neck and messing with his hair and feeling his smile against her lips, and she’s thinking that maybe they should get more comfortable, because she doesn’t intend on going to that party for a while, not when she and James have just stumbled upon something new and wonderful, not when James is backing her slowly against the wall —

“Oops!”

She jumps away from him and looks towards the door, which has been thrust open by Dorcas and Marlene. By the sound of it, Marlene spoke, now, her eyes find Lily’s, flashing invisible thumbs-up signs.

“Hullo, ladies,” James says evenly, and Lily can’t even imagine what they must look like right now. She finds she doesn’t care, though, because James is here and he’s hers, at least for now.

“Lily, we just wanted to tell you that, erm, we found your necklace in the stands,” Marlene says, holding up a star necklace that Lily’s always been particularly fond of.

“I guess it fell off,” Lily replies lamely, walking further out of James’s vicinity to take it from her friends.

“Well, that’s it…” Dorcas says, clearing her throat.

“Carry on!” Marlene adds loudly, and Lily scowls as they tumble out of the room, slamming the door shut on their way out.

“They’re ridiculous,” she says, pretty sure she’s blushing.

James walks over to her, the corner of his mouth — a mouth that had just been on her mouth, sweet Merlin — quirked up slightly. “We all are, to be honest.”

“Should we go to the party?” As soon as the words leave her mouth, Lily realizes what a stupid thing to say it is.

“Sure,” James says, and his half-smile turns into a grin. “Only if you’ll come as my date, though.”

“You don’t bring dates to common room parties, Potter,” Lily scoffs, trying to contain her own smile.

“Well, Evans, considering I’m captain of the team that just thrashed Slytherin, I think I can do what I want.”

“If you say so.” The smile breaks through, but it’s not like she feels bad about it. He shoulders his broomstick and bag, looks around the room one more time, and takes Lily’s hand.

“Shall we?”

***

Lily is happier than usual. James notices it on the walk back to the castle; notices how she smiles up at the sky, how she squeezes his hand while he talks about the match, how she invites him to go to Hogsmeade with her (“A real date, James, where we go someplace that’s not in the common room”), how she blushes when they walk through the portrait hole, hand in hand, to the sound of wolf-whistling and shouted congratulations — James notices all these things, and hopes that she stays happy. He promises himself that he’ll keep her happy for as long as she’ll have him — this month, maybe, or this year, or (if he’s lucky), the rest of her life.

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