#unless you don't remember my fucking birthday either

[panphilosopher]

Fic Idea: Chaggie/Chaggily child AU except it's Vaggie's child when she was a human. (TW: sex violence)

The idea if Vaggie's human origin still happens.

During her time as a sex worker, Vaggie could accidently be impregnated. The idea she didn't realize she was pregnant until at least the beginning of her early second trimester.

Since abortion is illegal in El Salvador and cultural upbringing, Vaggie could be reluctant to have abortion until decided to carry it.

I cannot think of a name, but I'm calling Vaggie's child Mirabel (lol).

Being disowned by her own family fuck Vaggie up psychologically, and decided to raise her (likely have a girlfriend who helped her).

Vaggie absolutely loves her daughter; she dotted her, she was her moon and sun. Gave her endearing names.

Tragically struck; when Mirabel is between 3-5, Vaggie was killed (either to sex violence, struck by vehicle, gang related death, etc).

Vaggie ascended to Heaven (likely having a traumatic life and still caring for her daughter), but Vaggie was devastated because that meant she separated from Mirabel.

Worse, and this part of my headcanon, time is irrelevant in the afterlife. I get the idea from The Good Place; look up Jeremy Bearimy. That's meant Vaggie will not see Mirabel for hundreds of years.

Every year in the afterlife time, Vaggie will have a somber celebration for Mirabel. I would like to say around September to October. Is Vaggie way for her to grieved for not raising her daughter.

Vaggie was also recruited into the Exorcists early, ascended into an angel.

The fic would follow the canon route: Vaggie did the extermination, spears a sinner, and Lute cut her eye and ripped her wings, Charlie would find her, and both fell in love, opened thr Hotel, battle the Exorcists and won. Also, down the line, Emily would fall too and enter a poly-relation with Vaggie and Charlie because I ship Unholy Trinity.

Like three months after the battle, Vaggie and Charlie hold a somber birthday for Mirabel (Vaggie told Charlie when they started dating).

All the hotel residents wondered who birthday is it, and Vaggie tells them its for her daughter.

Cue everybody is going "WHAT" "YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER" and Emily screamed, "Why didn't you tell me?!".

Even Charlie gasped before saying, "Why am I gasping? I already knew that."

I see Vaggie as a very closed person, won't tell people her past unless she trust them, and seeing she openly celebrating her daughter's birthday means she does now. Also, she likely didn't realized she hasn't tell Emily yet.

Now, here comes the angst: a few days after Vaggie's fell (or forced fall), Mirabel ascended to Heaven.

I don't think Vaggie and her former partner will have a healthy relationship. Not fault for either of them: poverty, homophobic society, and that Vaggie being a sex worker. Vaggie decided to keep Mirabel just add another fight between them.

After Vaggie died, her former partner gave Mirabel up to an orphanage. I do see her feeling guilty and likely giving donations to the orphanage, but that's it.

I will see Mirabel being a selfless girl: the big sister of the orphanage, gave her dinner portion to the children who's nearly starving, is known around the town for helping people, things like that.

She vaguely remembered Vaggie, only remembered that her mother loved her, the pet name, and I believed a nursery song that Vaggie sang to her.

Mirabel likely died around 15-17, and I say either to traffic accident or a bullet stray from a gang shoot-out.

After arriving in Heaven, Mirabel will look everywhere and try to find Vaggie. However, she doesn't know her name and not realize she isn't in Heaven.

A month after the failed extermination, Lute discovered Mirabel, and being the sadistic bastard she is, recruited Mirabel into being an Exorcist, making her an angel too.

She gives half lies about Vaggie: being an Exorcist but was killed during the failed extermination by Charlie's paramor. Since Vaggie never actually introduced herself during the Redemption Hearing, and that Mirabel vaguely remembered how Vaggie looked like (especially her afterlife/her fallen angel form if take fanon route).

Cue Mirabel trained and searched for her mom's killer, not realizing her mom is alive and said killer is her mom.

#hazbin hotel #vaggie #hazbin vaggie #hazbin oc #hazbin original character #charlie morningstar #emily the seraphim #chaggily #unholy trinity #unholy virtue #charlie's angels #two and a half halos #tw sex work #tw sex violence #Vaggie's Child AU #lute #hazbin lute #hazbin charlie #hazbin fictive #fic ideas #angst #hazbin emily #fanfic idea #fanfic #writing prompt #fanfic prompt #wlw #sapphic #hazbin fic #hazbin hotel au

[rachelsshowerthoughts]

Not Aware AU exactly but kinda tangential. I always toyed with this idea of "Kagami was transferred into Adrien's class when she joined the school."

This could be in S2, or be because Tomoe saw Adrien was attending school and she's got those later season machinations & sends Kagami to make sure he's not snagged by a gold digger.

(In the former case its just in S2, while in the latter it starts after Princess Fragrance.)

This was fine and fun at first, but Kagami is more willing to start shit with Chloe & much less patient with Adrien's continued softness.

Plus, Adrien can't really explain why he's fond of Chloe cos its a mixture between he can't imagine his life without her (Sibling coded) & stuff like, "She was there for me when mom disappeared & got me into school".

This leads to her at some point losing her patience and dragging both off to a classroom and basically saying "Either she needs to improve or you need to drop her, because this cannot go on."

You'd expect it to be a two on one but Adrien's efforts to play peacemaker lead to Kagami arguing with him as well.

Then when one of Chloe's major blows lands hard against Adrien, "Our parents harm more people every day than I do in a year and you still love them, hypocrites!"

It does nothing to Kagami, because she doesn't love her mother, she respects her, obeys her and fears her wrath but she doesn't love her even a little and she assumed Adrien was the same.

He is not the same & is in fact kind of defensive of his father at such a blatant rejection of one's own family and how uncomfortable it makes him.

It basically descends from there, cos I love slow burns but sometimes its just like, "Hmm what if they all started screaming their issues that they do not realize are issues at the top of their lungs?"

None of these kids know therapy talk so their languages on it is already going to be shit even before we remember literally not a one of them has much in the way of healthy communication or good social skills outside of formal events so:

So you have Chloe defending stuff like destroying Roses' letter because "That's how Mama handles it when I give her bad gifts, she's telling me to do better and one day I'll get it right!" As well as "Why would Papa want to see me when he doesn't need me for something? He's not a lunatic control freak like your parents."

Then you have Adrien defending stuff like, "I know my dads cold and has impossible standards and barely lets me do anything I want but he is protective and just wants what's best for me!" & "My mom was always kind to me, she was perfect even if she never let me go out or have a birthday either!"

& Kagami defending Tomoe with, "It doesn't matter how I feel about Adrien, or my instructions, I act as I do because it is for the good of my family. My emotions, my life don't matter at all before that duty!"

So its just three incredibly fucked up abused kids steadily airing each others and their own families laundry list of abusive traits and experiences under the pretext of saying "No my family is normal & OK yours is the bad one" and "How dare you call 'that' bad, when your parent does this!"

(Also Chloe may think Gabriel killed Emilie or otherwise would rather have Adrien sealed in amber forever than as an actual living boy,)

With this continuing until it either gets physical or they basically collapse.

Meanwhile the class is just watching in mounting horror and disgust and discomfort. (Nino is likely especially pissed) Like even with Chloe it may not justify her behavior but it puts so much of it in a new deeply messed up context where it kind of makes sense she doesn't even know how to be nice.

To quote a friend of mine:

The rich kids have taken knives to each other. They've cut open their festering wounds. The rot is exposed, scrubbed raw. While they lie angry, bleeding, crying, and dying [inside], they have the opportunity to look upon themselves once more and apply new dressings.

I can see it, but unless Gabriel is ACTUALLY out of the country, all three get Akumatized. My thoughts are a weird mix Grimm Brothers Fairytales - Cinderella, Snow White, Hansel & Gretel, etc. Not in specific, but like. More fairytale tropes?

Adrien is the "Cinderella"-style. Rapunzel, Snow White-style, "One Day My Prince Will Come"-style. The type of character that has to sacrifice and sacrifice, and will eventually be rewarded. If he does one more photo shoot, one more public appearance, *scrubs one more floor*, his father will finally love him. He'll finally have the happy ending he wants. He just has to stick it out - cause his dad DOES love him, right? (As a possession, if at all.)

Chloé is more of the "Trials"-style. Complete this mission-style. Knit twelve sweaters from nettles, and your brothers will become human again. Find the right goose, and get set free. Defeat the evil witch, and the spell is broken. If Chloé tries hard enough, does and says the right things, her parents will love her, show her affection. She'll finally be worth something. (All of it performative and shallow, until they raise the bar to another impossible height. Always keeping her dependant on them.)

Kagami, weirdly, I see as more endurance, or contract style - like a flipped version of Adrien. She isn’t really trying to "change" her situation the way Chloé or Adrien are, (for value of "trying to change it", ie, playing along with their parents games because that’s all they know to do) she's accepted this is the way it is, and is simply trying to endure it. Go through the motions. Hold up your end of the bargain. Work within the bonds of your deal, to do as little harm as you can, while still fulfilling your end. One day, you'll be out. You'll be free. (As if her mother will ever set her free.)

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

New Rule: The Truth About Christmas | Real Time with Bill Maher

Finally, New Rule: Praise Jesus, it's a Christmas miracle. For the first time in the 21 year history of this show we are on in December, which gives me a chance to explain to everyone something I've always wanted to expound upon in this show.

You know that whole thing about Jesus being born on December 25th? Well it's a crock of shit. Now, this is not an attack on Jesus. Although, he was a nepo baby. But also a revolutionary philosopher with a beautiful message. As to whether he's a God, that's up to you.

But if the subject is "Gods born on December 25th," we have enough of those for an entire Jeopardy category.

He was the Egyptian god who took the form of a falcon. Who is Horus?

He is the god from ancient Persia born bearing a torch. Who is Mithra?

He is the Greek god of rebirth. Who is Adonis?

He was the fertility god in Cleopatra's time. Who is Osiris?

This Greek deity was known for having a good time. Who is Dionysis?

So you may be asking - those are all real by the way, I think that was the problem, they think I'm making this up but I'm not - why do all the gods want the same birthday? Well, because December 25th was a pagan holiday coming a few days after the shortest day of the year, when primitive peoples noticed that the days were starting to get longer again, and so a cause for celebration.

Cut to:

And that's the story of Christmas. A holiday I love by the way. The tree, the presents, the music, the Christmas memories with my sister and our cousins filling the bong with eggnog. It's the only time of the year it's okay to put alcohol in milk. Christmas is fun if you just accept it's pretend time. Like a Hollywood wedding.

Yes, I love Christmas and always have. Just don't try to make me take it seriously.

And that is what has been going on a lot lately here in America. We have a new Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, who says America is actually a Biblical Republic and that he's even got a flag picked out that hangs outside his office, and which also could be seen in the mob on January 6th. Mike also says, "the separation of church and state is a misnomer," and congresswoman Lauren Boebert concurs saying she's, "tired of this separation of church and state junk." So too Marjorie Taylor Green, who says, "I say it proudly, we should all be Christian nationalists."

Now I know it may seem like this is just a few crazies, but I gotta tell you, dumbass Republicans who believe horrible ideas are like ants: there's always more that you can't see.

And in in fact, these ideas are no longer the fringe. According to a recent survey, over half of Republicans are either adherents of Christian nationalism or sympathetic to it. And they agree with statements like: "The US government should declare America a Christian Nation," and "Being Christian is an important part of being truly American," and "God has called Christians to exercise dominion over all areas of American society."

I'm sorry but I don't want anyone exercising their dominion over me unless I pay them and we've established a safe-word.

Boebert says, "The church is supposed to direct the government. The government is not supposed to direct the church." Well, no and no. Neither one is supposed to direct the other. That's what separation of church and state means.

Republicans, Jesus fucking Christ. First you stop believing in democracy - Senator Mike Lee said it, among others. Trump lives the idea every day, and here we have the Speaker of the House saying it. And now Republicans also don't believe in the separation of church and state? Does anyone in that party remember what fucking country you're living in?

We're the place that stakes so much of our greatness on being the first to specifically prohibit having a state religion. There are dozens of countries that have an official religion. There's 13 where being an atheist is punishable by death. Four have "Islamic" right in the title of the country.

And maybe that warms the hearts of the TikTok crowd who lately have found heroes in Hamas and Osama Bin Laden. But that's not us. That's not what we do here. I get it you kids like to switch things up. But I can only handle one side at a time being ridiculous about religious fanaticism, and right now I've got my hands full with Mike Johnson.

Because Mike Johnson has the power to actually make laws. And I don't want my global warming policy decided by someone who is rooting for the end of the world so we can get on with the Rapture. And who once filed a legal brief before the Supreme Court arguing that what he called "deviant same sex intercourse" should be a crime. Even the lesbian stuff?

Mike thinks God personally chooses, raises up our leaders, which is a very dangerous thought, because then when you lose an election you think it's just another of God's tricks to test your faith. Like fossils. Mike says, "We began as a Christian nation." We didn't. Did you miss that day in home school, Mike? If you don't know that the pilgrims came here to get away from the Church of England then you don't know, literally, the first thing about our country. Mike says, being a Christian nation is, "our tradition," and, "it's who we are as a people."

It's not. We're the people who have a First Amendment which says, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion." And we have an Article Six which says, "no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office."

So, I take these people at their word when they say that they think we should be Christian nationalists. But then they have to take John Adams at his word when he wrote, "the government of the United States of America is not an any sense founded on the Christian religion."

But I still love Christmas!

--

Introduction The rising influence of Christian nationalism in some segments of American politics poses a major threat to the health of our democracy. Increasingly, the major battle lines of the culture war are being drawn between a right animated by a Christian nationalist worldview and Americans who embrace the country’s growing racial and religious diversity. This new PRRI/Brookings survey of more than 6,000 Americans takes a closer look at the underpinnings of Christian nationalism, providing new measures to estimate the proportion of Americans who adhere to and reject Christian nationalist ideology. The survey also examines how Christian nationalist views intersect with white identity, anti-Black sentiment, support of patriarchy, antisemitism, anti-Muslim sentiments, anti-immigrant attitudes, authoritarianism, and support for violence. Additionally, the survey explores the influence Christian nationalism has within our two primary political parties and major religious subgroups and what this reveals about the state of American democracy and the health of our society.

==

Freedom of religion and freedom from religion are the same thing.

#Bill Maher #Real Time with Bill Maher #Christmas #separation of church and state #secularism #christianity #christian nationalism #christian nationalists #mike johnson #christian nation #John Adams #First Amendment #Article Six #democracy #religion #freedom of religion #freedom from religion #religious authoritarianism #religion is a mental illness

[quinloki]

Birthday Request Event

"It's my birthday and I'll write what I want to \o/"

Gift Details ♥ Reader: cis male!reader Character: Smoker Kink: #4 Orgasm Denial Prompt: #7 "Don't cum yet." Gift Giver: @aceshusband

Summary: Dom reader is welcoming his favorite marine home.

Content Notes: Ah, my apologies, this turned into more of a don't cum yet with degradation and humiliation more than orgasm denial. Anal sex, hand job, anal fingering, cum play, it got away from me but in the end I like where it went so I hope it works.

This birthday party is 18+, consensual unless explicitly stated otherwise, and BYOB

A/N - Okay – I’ve never viewed Smoker as a sub, and I’ve yet to write a cis male!reader (or even amab if I’m remembering right.) BUT! I am going to do my best! /determined face/ (I think I did well ^^; even if the gift wasn't exactly correct.)

Smoker was laying face down on the bed. His back was slick, but not with sweat, you’d been helping your favorite marine relax after a particularly long time away from home with a massage. You weren’t much smaller than him, and while you weren’t a marine, you were good about keeping yourself in shape.

You needed to be able to keep up with your sweetheart, after all. Working at the docks certainly didn’t hurt either, but it still took most of your body weight to break the tension in his back and get it to relax. Shortly after that you could hear soft grunts of appreciation as you worked the knots out of his back.

The two of you talked, about your days, about his – what he could talk about at least. The higher up the ranks he moved the less he was allowed to talk about, but he didn’t leave you in the dark.

Working your way to the small of his back during your conversation, you grabbed the bottle of lube instead of more massage oil, and released some right between those delicious round ass cheeks of his. There’s a flinch and a grunt from Smoker, but he doesn’t even turn to look at you.

“No movie first?” He asks, teasing you.

“Dinner and a movie after.” You say with a grin, urging the lube where you wanted it and pressing a finger into his ass. “I’ve waited long enough.”

“You’ve -.” he stops, biting back a grunt. “Waited longer.” You can feel him tensing under you a little as you slowly work a second finger into him.

“I have,” you admit, licking your lips before bringing a hand down on his ass and squeezing, forcing a growl of pleasure to finally pass his lips. “But that’s irrelevant right now.”

You shift, putting your legs between his and urging him up onto his knees.

Face down, ass up, no one else got to see him like this and you delighted in that. A body that gave no quarter to some of the worst pirates in the known world, and you could hear his breath already starting to shiver as you added a third finger. You pushed in enough to find his prostate and you nearly drilled into the sensitive area.

Smoker clutched the sheets and swore into the bedding.

“Don’t you dare fucking cum.” You command, twisting enough to slap his other cheek. “Not until I tell you.”

“Haa -.” Smoker sighed, swore under his breath and looked over his shoulder, leveling a sharp look at you. “You’re not going to leave me much choice if you – HNNGGH!” His back arches and he nearly collapses into the bed.

“You’re good at following orders.” You purr, pulling your fingers out of his loosened ass and grabbing his cheeks roughly, digging your fingers into the meat. “Big tough Marine like you has plenty of self-control, I’m sure.”

“Not that much!” He growls, hands white knuckled on the sheets.

You weren’t sure what was hotter, the twinge of pink on the back of his neck, or that his hair was coming loose already. You swiped your hand over his ass, using some of the lube to coat your hard cock, reaching between his legs with your free hand to pump his twitching member.

You grin as he grunts, his body flinching as you tease his thick shaft. You loved everything about your boyfriend, from how he could look so intimidating so effortlessly all the way to how delicious he looked with blood rushing into his face. His pale skin made him flush so sweetly.

You were sure anyone who saw you two as a couple thought you were the bottom. It’s that rough look on his face, those constant cigars, but you knew better. Only you. These sounds weren’t for anyone else.

“(Y/N)…” He growls. “St-stop I -.”

You stop teasing him, giving him a minute before you start pushing your tip into his ass. “You’re being such a good boy.” You purr, pushing into him. Gods he was always so tight, trembling against you like some shy little virgin every single time. Even if you fucked him for days in a row, it was always a treat to fill him up.

Pressing your hips against his ass you stay still for a moment, letting out a contented sigh. “Always… a perfect fit.” You praise, rolling your hips and grinding into him a little.

You pull back slowly, reveling in every twitch and muffled moan. Pushing back in just as slowly you grip his hips and begin to thrust into him in earnest. The slap of skin against skin, wet from massage oil and lube, was lewd and loud.

“The neighbors are going to hear me railing you, marine.” You tease, raking your nails down his back and turning his moans into a hissed growl. “Go on, pant like a good whore, since they’re hearing this sloppy sex already.”

“How – hnngh-fuck – how can you talk like that?” He grumbles, hips moving a little to meet your thrusts as your pace steadies.

“Cause you like it, marine slut.” You purr, smacking his ass roughly and listening to the sweet, soft sounds you pull from him. Your deliciously shy marine. “Be a good boy, and tell me when you’re close.”

“Actually,” you say after a moment. “Stroke that impressive fucking cock of yours.” You command, watching the muscles along his back shift as he moves a hand to do as you say. He matches your pace, and you can feel his ass twitch and tighten around you. The pleasure makes your fingers flex and grab onto his ass roughly.

The groan that rumbles in his chest nearly curls your toes.

“I’m,” Smoker stammers a bit, blush rushing down to his shoulders. “Getting close.” He pants, body twitching under you.

You wanted to torment him, you wanted him to ride that edge for a few long, terrible moments, but you didn’t have the desire to deny yourself that much. Besides, you could torment him in other ways.

Pulling out of his ass you slap it roughly. “Roll over.” You command, moving back so he could lay on his back before you straddled his thighs. “Make yourself cum, marine.” You huff, jerking yourself off inches from his hand.

Smoker’s hand stutters and he turns his head away. You’ve never seen your shy marine so flustered, but he’s still doing as you commanded despite his embarrassment.

“Good boy,” you praise, feeling yourself getting dangerously close. You need him to cum first. “Let it take you, cum all over yourself for me, baby, don’t fight it.”

Smoker’s body tenses, his thighs like cords of steel under you as he gasps and moans. He doesn’t hold his voice back letting a shuddering gasp fall from his lips as thick ropes of cum spurt from his twitching cock and coat his abs, nearly reaching his chest.

He looked so perfect like that, that you came immediately after, adding to the mess on his stomach with a devious grin on your face as he flinched.

You take a second to catch your breath, moving and straddling his waist before you lay on top of him, smearing the cold mix of liquid between the two of you as you kissed his collarbone. You could feel the heat rolling off his face as you kissed up his neck and along his jaw.

“Welcome home, Smoker.” You say before kissing him. He grunts into the kiss, putting his arms around you.

Check out the event - requests are accepted until 7/31/2023 EST

#birthday request event #one piece drabble #x reader #reader insert #smoker one piece #Aceshusband I hope you'll forgive me for the slight mix up #sometimes stories run away from me but I think you'll be good with this. #I thought I'd struggle with it but honestly the words just kind of flowed. #Thank you for the gift #it was a pleasure to write so differently ♥

[hot-take-tournament]

hi, wrong birthday anon

far as we can tell, a single nurse wrote down the wrong date on my shots record and then my parents just. never looked at my birth certificate. we didn't find out til my school looked at it for a standardized test.

I wasn't even born near midnight or anything either. I was born at 2pm. :/

i'm fucking screaming like how does this even happen

i don't even know where to fucking start this

you're seriously telling me that you were born in the middle of the fucking day and not only did neither of your parents check the date at any point, but in the weeks that followed they couldn't even work it out mathematically?????

actually you don't even need to know the date, if you remember what day of the week it was you can just look at a fucking calender and work backwards, you don't need your birth certificate

or are you saying they couldn't remember the day or the date, but they did remember that you were born at 2pm???????

and now that i'm thinking about it, how the fuck did they even GET the birth certificate if they don't even know what was supposed to be on it?????

i mean surely they had to go in and give the information that's on the certificate when they registered your birth, unless you're gonna tell me you don't have a name either

so if your date of birth is right on the certificate they had to have known at some point after you got your vitamin K, right? but they still proceeded to get it wrong for 12 YEARS because of that one form i can't-

like how did it take them that long to realise this???? didn't you have a passport or medical records that would have the right date??? and you must've given the certificate to the school when you were put on the register, that's how they fucking knew

but it still took 12 FUCKING YEARS to figure this out???? i can't breathe this is so fucking funny-

#asks #not a poll

[nehswritesstuffs]

So, um, it's time for Nehs to go off again on One Piece bc my gears are turning thanks to Lore Piece being solid as per usual. Spoilers for chapter 1097 are under the cut, as well as talk of some of the basis of Crocomom, a fanon theory I do not ascribe to but don't necessarily dismiss, so if you do dismiss it then don't read I guess.

Okay, um... so I've been kind of thinking that Bonney isn't really twenty-four years old for a while and something more like a middle schooler (10-14), but this chapter to me sort of soft-confirmed it, as well as set things up for this other crazy-ass fucking thing I didn't think was even possible.

'Cause the end of the chapter puts things fourteen years ago, right? No mention so far of a kid despite Ginny's enthusiasm to get into Kuma's pants. Oda would have mentioned a kid, especially if it was already ten years old. Kuma is too cute to have been a dad and NOT gotten a moment with his baby. (LORD ALMIGHTY why is Kuma so adorable in this edition of Lore Piece I just wanna smush his cheeks and tell him he's doing a fantastic job at caring for his flock and being a rebel.) This means that Bonney is one of a few things:

Kuma and Ginny's daughter they had after rescuing her, giving her a different family name to distance her from the Buccaneer race, ala Ace going by Portgas

Ginny's rescued relative we don't know exists yet

Kuma's adoptive daughter that he takes in bc she looks hauntingly like Ginny

Ginny's daughter from things happening while she was kidnapped

Ginny's clone in the Clone Trooper sense, taken and prematurely aged

Ginny's clone in the Boba Fett sense, taken w/o being aged

No matter how you shake it, unless Bonney is some until-now-unknown child waiting to be rescued, all of these options point to her actually being somewhere around tween/young teen in actuality but presenting like an adult in order to get taken seriously. The anti-eyebrow piercing would even play into that, being a potential way for a kid to prove they're so big and tough and able to run with the big kids take me with you Shanks I'm no anchor. So, we're getting to her true origins soon, also where Vegapunk comes into play, whether he is a cause or a secret-keeper or whatever.

Now, remember how I said something about Crocomom? As it turns out, I feel like if we get any confirmation for the trans!Crocodile fan theory, it's gonna be within the next two or three chapters. Why? I think Croc is potentially connected to whomever captured Ginny. Iva, being their fabulous self, is not above using their power to disorient opponents. While this could mean that Crocodile is a cis man but got temporarily femme'd and turned back after humiliation, it also leaves open the possibility for Iva putting Croc through permanent HRT for either punishment purposes (so unwitting ftm not changing you back candy you've been bad now go learn a lesson) or for negotiation purposes (already afab ftm but give us our Ginny back and I can make you grow a dick and lose your tit fat). While I don't think that Crocodile was necessarily designed to be transgender from the beginning, I also feel like Oda has to know about the Crocomom/trans!Croc fanon and he is specifically the kind of author who just shrugs and goes with shit fans make up. That's how he got almost all, if not every single, birthday for the cast, so why not this twist? Like, I wasn't sold on it the first time I encountered this theory, but like I said: I never discounted it because we never know what's going on in Oda's brain. He really gave us a good potential set up here, so it'd be weird if he didn't use it.

(I still think that Crocomom specifically is a long shot since Luffy's five at this point, so unless Dragon is going to potentially wage war on his ex/babymama and neither of them mention Luffy, it leaves even more parts of the puzzle that don't quite fit (and Croc wouldn't already be ftm bc that's a lost chance at a new character design, which we all know Oda is shit at resisting). There's a lot of them that already don't fit to me, but that's neither here nor there. I'm just concerned that even if we do have ftm!Crocodile thanks to Iva's Devil Fruit, that a lack of Crocomom would mean that One Piece has its own version of the Blaise Zabini Debacle in the works (apologies for bringing HP into it but it's true) and we as a fandom are better than that.)

OR I COULD BE WRONG ABOUT ALL OF THIS AND GINNY WAS CAPTURED BY MARINES, GIVING HER TO VEGAPUNK FOR EXPERIMENTS, WHICH WOULD LEAD INTO OTHER STUFF but yeah

None of this theorizing I think could have been possible, like, ten/fifteen years ago, because part of me feels like Oda has been putting his foot down a lot based on what it is we've been getting. Some stuff could have, yeah, been sort of meddled with by the editors/SJ at this point, but it feels like he's been able to get away with a lot more than he did before. Being such an important asset can do that.

...but yeah, if none of this happens (or is at least more firmly kickstarted) by chapter 1100, chances are that we're not getting it.

#One Piece #One Piece spoilers #1097 spoilers #I love that Oda of all people says trans rights bc that's funny as shit #so even if none of this goes down that doesn't change what we got #I might tag other things later but right now this is here

[flowery-laser-blasts]

My headcanon (mini fanfic) for Motor Ed convincing Dr Drakken to pierce their ears as teens: warning mentions of blood and alcohol.

For his 16th birthday, Eddie wanted earrings because all the cool rock stars, punkers, and metal artists had them. He asked his mother for one, but she heavily objected to it.

So after gathering all the supplies. Eddie and Drew locked themselves in Eddie's bedroom and then--

At his birthday party (family only), Eddie took Drew aside and convinced him to help him pierce his own ears. Eddie showed his cousin a sterling silver earring from the piercing shop downtown; he tried going by himself at first, but once he found out that pay was upfront and he couldn't just pierce-'n-dash like he would at diners with his meals, he stole one of the earrings when a new client came in and occupied the shop owner's attention.

Eddie said that he found his mother's sewing kit and told Drew that it would be easy piece-y lemon squeezy:

They just needed some ice cubes and towels.

"Oh and booze!" According to Eddie, "Doesn't matter if it's a liquor or a wine, all booze contains alcohol and alcohol disinfects!"

"I don't think that that's how it goes Eddie--"

"Shuddup, Drew I heard the piercer talk about alcohol!"

Drew thought hard, being the one who actually paid attention in class he pointed out: "What about Vodka? It's the closest we can get to pure alcohol. Unless you want sticky sweet earlobes from the wine..."

"Vodka, huh, mom's got a bottle in the cabinet!

See!? This is why I need you for this! You're like my own- uhhh, what's that dude from that book called again? Ya' know, the one with the monster that is made of body parts?"

"Are you talking about the scientist? Victor Frankenstein from Mary Shelley's 'Frankenstein'?" Drew smirked proudly, Eddie beamed remembering the name again,

"No, no, no, no-- you're like that assistant-dude Igor! 'Specially with that brow man, you're like my own freaky sidekick!"

Drew's newfound pride shattered to the ground and he grumbled as he went off to find the supplies.

A loud scream alerted the mothers of the boys.

They managed to break open the lock and saw a bloody mess.

Drew looked very pale and Eddie was sobbing and holding his bloodied ear while rocking on the ground.

The thing is, both idiots thought it was a good idea to take a few swigs of Ed's mother's most expensive wine as liquid courage before doing this. Then Drew started to get second thoughts:

"Is this really a good idea?"

"Yes, it is! Let's just do it!"

Both of them went back and forth for at least half an hour until they solved their discourse by doing rock paper scissors, in which they sipped more wine in between each take. Drew eventually lost so he would be pierced first. Drew just wouldn't sit still, so in the end -after wasting another twenty minutes- Eddie gave up, it was him after all who wanted the earring.

"Look Drew, just hurry up before our moms notice that we're not at the party!" he said as he rubbed the vodka onto his earlobe with a towel.

"Alright then, here goes nothing..." With a trembling hand, Drew took the leather needle -that unfortunately had a bit of a dull tip because it's been used often- and roughly pushed it through Eddie's earlobe

Eddie muffled his groans in a towel he bit on. Drew took out the needle and blood started coming out.

"Oh shit-- Oh fuck, oh SHIT!!"

"W-What's wrong cou-AAAAAUAA! AAAAAGH!!"

In a panic frenzy, Drew tried forcing the earring into the lobe to plug it up and prevent it from bleeding more. However, the metal rod of the earring was bigger than the needlehole itself, so forcing it through caused the wound to burn and bleed harder, the alcohol didn't help either.

And there they were, two drunken dimwits crying their eyes out as their mothers screamed at them while the neighbor called 911.

Eddie went with his mom to the hospital for a tetanus shot, just in case, and both he and Drew got grounded for up to 2 months.

Eddie tried wearing the earring for a while outside his mother's vision but putting it in and taking it out hurt more than it was worth it. So eventually he stopped wearing it and his lobe grew shut again.

To this day, Motor Ed still has a very faint scar on his lobe.

#Dr Drakken #DrDrakken #Dr. Drakken #Dr.Drakken #drew lipsky #drewlipsky #Motor Ed #MotorEd #Ed Lipsky #EdLipsky #Motor Ed Headcanon #Headcanon #Mention of blood #mentions of blood #blood #tw blood #tw:blood #tw: blood #tw: alcohol #tw:alcohol #tw alcohol #piercing

[punk-is-notdead]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for tagging me @bayoubodycount, @eyesofatragedy67 and @queerwolfsstuff.

How many works do you have on A03? 115, but that will change soon

What's your total word count? 1,132,676 (how did that happen?)😲 this will also change soon

What fandoms do you write for? Amost exclusively Supernatural and Supernatural RPF, although I have written a fic for Cherry Magic, plus a crossover with Supernatural and What We Do In the Shadows

Top 5 fics by kudos: Long Friggin' Week (co-written with RidinCastielInTheImpala) 1,075 kudos; Closer (Fuck You Like an Animal (co-written with @anyreiart and @queerwolfsstuff) 891 kudos; Mistletoe Mishap (co-written with @anyreiart) 607 kudos; Stop and Smell the Roses 538 kudos; Friends With Benefits? Yeah, Right... 527 kudos

Do you respond to comments? I try, but I've gotten very behind with that lately. My next task is to do just that.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Angsty endings? I don't know them. 😁

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of them, but in terms of happy ending compared to the level of angst in the story, I guess either Against the Light or Stop and Smell the Roses.

Do you get hate on fics? I've had the odd unhelpful comment, but I've only had hate once. The commenter didn't like what I'd written, but my dear friend @bayoubodycount quickly leaped to my defence.

Do you write smut? Yes, although lately my solo fics have been smut-free, but I can't really account for it. However, I've signed up for this year's reverse Bang Bang, so I will have to push myself to write smut.

Craziest crossover? What Destiel Does In the Shadows, which is a crossover @anyreiart and I wrote for @queerwolfsstuff's birthday a few years ago. Not just one pair of idiots in love, but two pairs of idiots in love. 😂

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, but it was so long ago, I can't remember what fic it was, or what language it was translated into.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Ohhh, yes. About a third of my fics are co-written, and my biggest collaborator by far is the lovely @eyesofatragedy67, with 15 fics together and counting.

All-time favorite ship? Destiel... they're my OTP. I have other ships that I enjoy, and I'm happy to write Dean and Cas in poly relationships/situations, but destiel has a special place in my heart.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I don't have any WIPs... Not on AO3 anyway. On Google Docs though, that's a completely different matter.

What are your writing strengths? Um... dialogue?

What are your writing weaknesses? Description. I struggle with that, and when I read a beautiful piece of description, I wish I'd written it. Also, I'm guilty of endless micro-editing while writing, and despite knowing that I shouldn't do it, it's hard to stop.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? No, I wouldn't touch that unless I had help from a native speaker.

First fandom you ever wrote in? Supernatural.

Favorite fic you've written? Against the Light. I'm not ashamed to say that I go back and reread it every once in a while, and I think it's a fairly decent piece of writing.

I don't have anyone to tag, as they all tagged me first, or have already done this, but if anyone wants to participate please go ahead.

#tag game #fic writing

[jamesunderwater]

Tell me about your writing history! Is this your first fandom? Had you ever written anything else before? Maybe embarrassing poetry or a diary?

Wow this ask had me pulling out my old hard drive to look at the oldest writings I could find I actually went into my old boxes and found the one remaining notebook from pre-college, as well. So this turned into a VERY fun adventure xD Thank you for sending this, Anna!

So my journey into writing is really intertwined with my love for HP. I'd definitely say it was my first fandom, and it's absolutely been my most long-lasting one. I was very into Supernatural in middle school as well (it had just come out), but nothing captured me like HP, and eventually, the Marauders. I remember writing a story when I was like 9 for this monthly contest we had in school, and I specifically said to myself, "I'm going to write this in the style that JKR uses," and because of that, I was SURE I was going to win the contest. I even remember using "he said, matter-of-factly" in the story, because I'd looked up what that meant when reading HP (about Hermione, of course) and thought it was just next-level writing. I did actually win the contest that month, too! xD So I would say I really started getting into writing and enjoying it because the Harry Potter books made me fall so in love with reading.

So jump ahead to early middle school, around 11 years old, I'm on fucking Neopets, and I discover a roleplaying forum. And a thread seeking someone to play James at the Yule Ball......and thus, my Highest Self was born. 😆 It felt like I'd discovered a whole new world where I could really be myself and do the things I loved with other people who loved it, too. So I started roleplaying (on myspace lmao), mostly as Sirius or James and eventually also Dean Winchester. I discovered ff.net and hpff, and wrote some stories, but mostly I really loved interacting with other writers through rping.

Most of what I wrote outside of rp was either poetry or short stories, and most of it was really dark, cause my life in general was really dark. In college I took a poetry writing course and a fiction writing course and fucking loved them both, but I didn't end up going any further in those courses. I roleplayed off and on throughout my 20s, wrote poetry off and on, little fics and drabbles here and there. Came up with ideas for books I never wrote. So really, what I'm doing right now with Dead to Me is the most "serious" I've been about a multi-chapter story before, unless you count the ongoing stories I technically wrote as a roleplayer. Like, I know I'm actually going to finish this one, whereas so often in the past I just let things fall away (thank you, adhd).

As for old writing/embarrassing stuff - the oldest fandom thing I found was actually a short wolfstar fic I wrote in 2011 that made me smile so much! I might post it. 😊 Which is so funny because I don't even remember writing it. I did easily find some embarrassing poetry, though. I picked one out from my hard drive from 2011 before I found my old notebook from high school, so congrats, you get two embarrassing poems for the price of one. Under the cut, cause geez, I've already talked a lot xD

From my first year in college...feast your eyes on a gross poem about my first real boyfriend, who was (shocker) an absolute asshole:

It’s your back, the way your skin crawls across it like caterpillars stretching tight while you blanket over me.

It’s your hair, those thick tendrils of brown leaves falling over me like autumn when it starts and it feels like the sky is falling.

It’s your laugh, that low baritone. That tuba in the brass section that gets all the attention and earns glares from the girls in football stands that can’t hear over them, but I become a puddle to that sound.

You are a warm blanket in an ice locker – relief.

Watching you live is like videotaping a child’s first years. Their first giggles that grace the world, first few steps and words and birthdays, bed time stories and grandparents’ laps. All in all, true happiness.

You are all the reasons in the world to smile, and so I am.

Andddd from my first year in high school, please enjoy this poem about having your heartbroken by someone on the internet:

You were like a magnet I, a piece of metal could do nothing but give into gravity and fall into your hesitant arms

I couldn't trust you to catch me

When I came crawling back you made me swear never to leave again I made the vow sealed myself in an envelope that never made it to Ohio

You refused to open me up I just begged and pleaded for your love

In the end the magnet will pull away and leave me a useless piece of rust Too drained to give up Too defeated to get up

When you left, so did all my hope

You wonder why I take the lead You wonder why I always leave the first time

Real talk, I actually MUCH prefer the second poem. Maybe it's because I still remember lines from it to this day, or because the idea of writing a lovey poem to an asshole is more cringey than writing a heartbreak poem in general, but.... I don't hate those last two lines 😆

#please feel free to reblog this and 1. critique these hilarious poems and 2. tell me YOUR writing story!!! #cause this was actually so fun to think back on #love a trip down memory lane #thank you again for sending this!! #annabtg #me #my writing #charlie mail

[kledface]

Idk i guess i should consider an intro post or something?

Name:

Hi, im kledface, but you can call me kled. No, i have no association with league of legends and have been entirely turned off from playing it due to people asking if my name is because of the character. There is an origin story though!

Content:

I like sharing cute animals, pretty things, memes, and trans shit, cause i am a trans shit, people should be nicer/more normal about trans folks, especially those who are trans-fem and gender nonconforming. I also enjoy sharing art, both my own and others, because art is amazing. Sometimes i will post my weird little rambles here. Sometimes theyre serious, sometimes theyre just pissing in the wind. Life is full of wonder or some schist idk

Identity:

Im trans, genderfaun, my pronouns do change sometimes, but for the most part, he, they, and it are all fine for me. Go ahead and dabble in neos if you want, im not 100% sure what works and what doesnt there. Im also kinda coming to terms with being demi-aroace, or demian. This is a newer label for me, but i think its the right one. Im a pretty proud furry, and also an otherkin; hi, dragon speaking. My fursona is a dragon, but i have plenty of characters; some are even not dragons! I love dragons more than anything. I am mentally ill, with severe depression, social anxiety, schizophrenia, and a very troubled past that has caused splitting, and most likely either ADHD, autistic, or both, but nothing is confirmed yet besides being dyslexic. Currently am 19, though on the kalends of april i will be 20. This makes me nervous. I do not enjoy celebrating my birthday.

Likes and dislikes:

I love dragons, pineapple, rain and snow, fire, lightning, warhammers, birds, cats, the colours orange and blue, food, flowers, shiny rocks, dnd, mtg, drawing, reading, video games, a wide variety of music, the forest, and helping others, especially those im closer to. I hate conspiracy theories, aliens, bell pepper, chartreuse, intense heat, being short, bigots, and being treated like a demon. Some of these things are because of my past, others are just general hates

Personality:

Because of the splitting, sometimes its not just one person talking; there are eleven of us with different personalities. I, as the host, am the person you are most likely to catch though. I like to consider myself fun loving, though protective. Compassionate and easily scared. Some of us are much more grumpy, and cynical, while others are literal children. Please have patience with us, we are trying.

Other socials:

I do have some other platforms. This is the one im on second most often.

Discord: kledface [active]

Instagram: kartoffelzauberer [semi-active]

Twitter: kledface [inactive]

I have a reddit but i dont remember it

Technically i can invest in others but i dont really want to unless i have to, and there are some i havent listed but dont even worry about those, i dont want to be found

DNI:

Listen. Im a generally accepting person. But some people arent welcome here. No homophobes or transphobes, no terfs, no racists, no xenophobes, no ablists, no sexists, no ageists; If you hate someone for a fundamental aspect of their being, get the fuck out. Also, no anti-furs. This isnt the same, cause its more of a fandom thing, but if you hate someone for their fandom, i dont want to hear about it. Leave. Bye felicia. I will likely block you if you are a pro-shipper, because ew. And if you are any kind of pedophile, zoophile, or rapist, i would hunt you down and kill you myself if i could, i don't care how you excuse yourself, youre a disgraceful piece of shit who doesn't deserve to live, literally kill yourself. I hate saying and hearing that, but youre the kind of person who deserves it.

Finale:

I think that's it. Hit me up if you have questions or wanna talk, my askbox and messages are open. Thank you for coming to my KLEDtalk

[Kountenance, Lecturing, Education, Dick]

#dragon #dagin #furry #artists on tumblr #intro post #introductory post #blog intro #introduction #queer #demi aroace #genderfaun #kledface yells #kledface

[kitxkatrp]

I'm having a meltdown and need to rant. I'm sorry if this upsets anybody, so I'll be putting it under the cut.

So I'm having issues with not being able to handle my mood swings again, for one. A bunch of things keep happening and its making me feel like I want to fucking die again and because its bipolar moodswing I can do nothing but ride it out because nothing I've learned and no medicine can help me stop an episode when it fucking starts.

So not only did I have to emergency buy another computer (which I had to borrow MONEY to pay for), but i got it and it barely works. But because I couldn't afford the warranty, I'm now out 400 dollars.

AND

I'm getting bit in bed again, which means my neighbors have given me bedbugs, AGAIN. If you weren't here for the first three or four times, this is the like fifth time in the span of a single year and they refuse to treat your apartment unless you can actually catch one, but refuse to do a proper inspection. They walk in, lift up your sheets, and say "there's no bedbugs. You're obviously just wrong and it's fleas from your pet" and then leave. They don't check cracks, crevices, and all other spots that bedbugs live. Also one fell out of my bathroom vent, so I'd bet anything thats where the fuckers are coming from. They refused to treat my apartment before for over a month until I caught a live bedbug, walked into their office, and slammed it down on their fucking desk and said "tell me its my cat and fleas again. I dare you."

Also I am excruciatingly allergic to bedbug bites, so they swell up and get all nasty and sometimes infected. They itch so maddeningly bad that you have to constantly put cream on them. I am almost out of cream.

Also I paid all the money I had yesterday for fucking groceries, only to realize today that I am low on garbage bags and I'll have to borrow even MORE money from my partners this month to just make it to the next month.

Comcast doubled my bill and refused to lower it.

My disability got raised, but because of it, they docked my food stamps again so I'm essentially just as fucked as before.

I couldn't afford valentines gifts for either of my partners or a birthday gift for scottie so I feel like a terrible partner.

I am having moments of hearing voices again which happens when I am so physically and mentally stressed that my bipolar is unable to cope.

I am almost out of allergy medication. I could not afford it this month. It's almost 30 bucks for a pack that lasts a month. It is the only thing that works and I can't even take it every day cause then it stops working. I am allergic to dust mites (the things that live in your bedding), and my own cat, which did not develop until after I got my cat. When I lay down, half the time I start having an allergy attack from my own sheets.

I could not afford to get my back cracked this month so I get to be in : ) a fantastic amount of pain because it costs me 40 dollars per crack and that is with my disability discount because medicare doesn't give a shit about me or you.

I finally broke down today and called and asked to be put on the waitlist for the other apartments that have less bedbug issues, but got rushed off the phone and hung up on by the secretary before I could ask any questions about the pricing differences or anything. And because I can't guarantee that they won't come inspect my apartment or come harass me to ask me why I want to switch (remember kids, low income landlords are not your friend and will harass and threaten to put you on the street at every possible turn), I just had to speed clean my apartment which caused me a ridiculous amount of pain.

My back hurts, my ankles hurt, I can't stop crying and I just want to die right now. I'll probably be okay in a few hours, but fuck man I'm tired.

#{ Kitten Speaks } #tw: mun rant #tw: suicidal thoughts

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Persona 3 Problems: Maiko Birthday Shenanigans!

Huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Interesting things going on with Maiko in the fandom. Won't say what but let's just say......jail to that person (and *saves screenshot* At least FeMC fans have ammo to fire back TT0TT)

BUT besides that......welllllll. That post made me realize something. Atlus is inconsistent about her age!

Maybe that's why I thought Maiko was A LOT closer to Ken's age than I originally thought, but the game (iirc OG/FES/3P) actually says she's a 2nd grader. I DO remember P3P stating that, because that's the version I usually play (SHOCKER! in my defense half of it is because it's usually on the go, and the other half is I like seeing differences between the male/female sides....it's also faster). Anyway, it was also the first thing I checked when I did a playthrough, so I'm fairly certain.

Buuuuut according to the wiki (fandom one, I know I know, issues, I'll see what I can do about updating it, but I have to bring ammo/screenshots u_u), she's a Libra (ok so far so good, also Nanako is a Libra, ironically, also Nanako is in 1st grade iirc), and she's.....9. HuH? Wut?

Apparently P3P will list her as 9 years old. Specifically on the TV missing person announcement..... Which I do vaguely recall them mentioning her on the TV, I don't remember the age they mentioned. ;w; So I'll need to double check that.

Anyway this is a problem, because it doesn't make sense/add up, and contradicts the line about being a 2nd grader (fun fact: if you clicked the link above, Maiko is born the same year as Futaba, but Futaba should be a year ahead of her....tho iirc P5S states Futaba's been held back a year? So now they are ironically in the same grade? TT0TT). 1st graders in Japan are generally 6->7, and 2nd graders are 7->8, 3rd 8->9, 4th 9->10, 5th 10->11 and so on! So Maiko can't be a 2nd grader and 9 unless she was held back....which the OG text doesn't indicate. But if she WAS 9, she'd be either a 3rd or 4th grader (Ken is 5th grade). I'd have to check, but I coulda sworn she was much smaller than Ken (who would only be a grade or 2 above her).

Fun fact she goes missing (assuming the websites are correct) around 10/21. I'd have to look at the timing of the news broadcast, but that would mean she we missing 1) a little while after her birthday (between a few weeks to literally yesterday) , 2) it was on her birthday (;w;), 3) it was the day before her birthday (;w;)

Because of that ONE day, it's hard to tell if it's saying she JUST turned 9, or is actually about to turn 10.

Her birthday, if the 2nd grader thing is correct (along with the Libra thing), she'd be turning 8 in 2009. So 2009-8=2001! So her birthday should be c. September 23-October 22, 2001 (she'd be 14->15 in P5 but 15 in P5S. Futaba for ref turned 15 before P5 started and turned 16 near the end of P5, and is 16 in P5S)

If the 3rd grade theory is correct, the the birthday would be: c. September 23-October 22, 2000 (this would put her in the same year as Futaba, assuming Futaba didn't drop out originally)

If the 4th grade theory is correct (assuming she hadn't had her birthday): September 23-October 22, 1999 (this would put her in the same year as P5MC/Anne/Ryu/Yusuke, for reference on Ken, Ken is in the same grade as Goro/Mako/Haru).

The fandom Wiki seems to be going for the latter two (if you read the hovered note).

Personally? I think P3P just.......made a mistake (people like the bring up "Atlus can't math" a lot esp with that one thing with P4, so it's not that far fetched). That OR (which I think is funnier and more tragic TT0TT). Her parents reported her age wrong. ajskdflj;f

I mean, they are in the middle of (or just finished their) divorce. They are both a taaaaaad bit neglectful since they don't realize Maiko's been hanging out with a high schooler for so long (as well as planning to run away). So I wouldn't be surprised if they fucked up the reporting lkajfdsljfaka So it might not be a Persona 3 (Portable) Problem, but a .....Persona Parent problem! ;D

ANYWAY, this is something I wanna keep an eye out when I replay the P3 games (along side when I'm playing P3R). So expect a sequel post.

#that person HAS to be a troll #yet ppl are feeding him #silly talks #persona problems #persona 3 problems #specifically might be a ....P3P^2 one :3c #cause persona 3 portable and...persona 3 problem are...both P3P....nvm TT0TT u_u

[metanoianmayhem]

You Never Let Anything Go, Ever

Apparently, midway thru an acid trip was an appropriate time for my (then) nearest and dearest to tell me this.

I won't lie - I struggle to let things be bygones - to not remember them or try to remember.

Because on the other hand if I am wary of a repeated behavior, or I can't remember this thing that happened with enough detail, I get brushed off.

Sort of damned if I do, damned if I don't. "Oh you made that up" versus "you never let it go"

I'm not wild about ultimatums - but they do apply sometimes to life. I have a partner who hates them, and who's first response to them is "Fuck you."

We're nonmonogamous. Or, in theory are. In practice, it's more like "I see other people sporadically, he freaks out, but also has a girlfriend. But wait! That girlfriend isn't that into sex, so like, it's not the same thing, esp since by the numbers I've had more people!"

...yeah. You could say I'm a little over that part of the relationship. Don't get me wrong, there's a great deal of other things I love about him. We meet each other halfway on important stuff, share a lot of ideologies, we take good care of each other, make each other laugh until we snort.

Not small potatos either. I've never wanted to spend this long with someone full time before.

But I am running out of patience for the nonmonogamy hypocrisy dance.

Last minute birthday overnight with the other person that I get to find out? We're going on a trip for the next few days, so it was the only time he'd spend with her. That's fair.

Except.

If I did that? He'd blow a damn gasket.

Can I have preexisting partners? No, he freaks out. Share a partner? No, he freaks out. Date safe friends? No, he freaks out (or at least doesn't chill out until the concessions I have made for his comfort have eroded the other relationship/taught them this is the standard) Date friends of mine? No, he freaks out. Even if he gets time to get to know them. Date people from the internet? No, he freaks out.

Oh, unless I fucked them once two years ago and have a (sort of) defined relationship with them.

Or if I'm lukewarm about them.

The last time I dated someone else locally long term, was almost two years ago. He's adjusted (some) to some things. Eventually adjusted to preexisting partners. Eventually adjusted (somewhat) to me investigating dating apps (although I suspect some of that is because it doesn't go anywhere) Yes, we are in couples counseling. Yes, this is the current topic, so it is heavily on my mind. But I am running out of patience, i am annoyed as fuck, and so, I am venting here on the internet, in the space where I have always vented.

Feels bad that I only write when I have something negative to say, but I am also extremely frustrated.

We have things to unpack. I don't know how to keep doing this, especially the pattern of I ask, and ask, and ask for specific social things, kink things, life things and oh maybe yeah at some point.

A friend or his other partner asks? It happens! Why, he does things less regularly with them because of all the time he spends with me.

The only solutions I seem to be coming to are "Spend less time with each other", "Suck it up and stop asking for these things from him.", "Idk, I guess silently seethe about it."

More likely, I'll bring it up in couples counseling.

But I am very cranky. and very tired of this. and it makes me very unaffectionate and it shows. I never was any good at having a poker face.

But hey, you know me. I never let anything go, ever.

After all. There's no reasons for that.

#text #being a salty bitch #because I'm frustrated and tired and venting #we have a lot of good parts of our relationship #but I am starting to hit boiling point on these particular issues #and I don't know how to put them down for awhile #because I tend to chew on things #vent #personal vent #personal #life #relationships #nonmonogamy #tw: drug mention #me myself and i #yaaay therapy #more time on these topics #who knows if it'll go anywhere

[stellylee]

TASK #11 WRITE A LETTER

triggering / sensitive content: abandonment, cheating.

I hesitate to address this as 'dear dad' because you haven't been for a while. Unless you count the occasional text, or the cards at Christmas time. I'm not even really sure that you remembered my birthday this year, but it wasn't like I was waiting for you to call. I had a good time with Mandy and my friends.

And I know that I'll never actually send you this letter, because what would either of us get out of it? I don't need to guilt trip you into feeling bad about not being in my life, because I've got a great life despite your absence, and I don't see that changing any time soon. I'm happy. I guess I'm just writing it all down because I have the opportunity to, and why not?

At this point, I'm done being mad at you. Which took a long, long time to realize. Because when mom closed my bedroom door and told me that she needed to talk, I knew that it wasn't going to be an easy conversation. I was only twelve years old, and she told me that we were going to move. Not to another apartment, or another area, another part of the city... or even somewhere else in the state. No, we were moving up the coast, to Maine, of all places, and you weren't coming with us. She never actually told me that you cheated, you know that? I think because she wanted me to have a good, solid relationship with you, which maybe makes it harder that you didn't want that with me. I think it took me a long time to reconcile that feeling and realize that it wasn't all my fault. But, regardless, we moved to Maine and I was absolutely miserable. I hated how remote everything was, how quiet. I was also a pre-teen slash teenager who hated life in general, coming into my own and making decisions about my identity in a brand new place, which I guess was okay. Because I got to be Stelly in my own way. So, hey, I guess thanks for knocking up that chick. Helped me find myself?

Mom fell in love, which at first pissed me off (not just because it made me get a step brother, but just because she moved on), but now I an see that he's really good to and for her. She's happy, which is more than I can say about those last few years in New Orleans. I slowly learned how to not hate Maine. I got into photography, and I waitressed after school while I went to college, and eventually took some bartending classes. Now, I'm lead bartender at a sports bar and I kick some serious ass. I got a job with the local paper, photographing events and taking assignments when they need me, and I'm friends with journalists and editors and all the higher ups. I live in a downtown home that I share with some friends, it needs some work, but it feels like a place that's mine. And I have some really good friends who love me for who I am. And a dog.

And Mandy.

I lied, because sometimes I am a little bit mad at you, knowing that you'll never know how cool she is, or how she makes my heart skip a beat when she kisses my cheek. The way she likes my black jeans and ripped tanks, and the way she doesn't mind that it clashes with her pink hair or the bubblegum way she smiles. The thing is, I definitely gave up on the idea of love and relationships when I found out what you did and how much you hurt mom, but then Mandy stopped by Touchback more and more and I realized it was for me, to see me, to spend time with me... and I realized that maybe humans aren't always so awful to each other. Maybe you can genuinely, really care about a person.

The whole point of this was to let you know in my own fucked up way that... I'm okay without you. That I reached that point where life goes on and everything doesn't feel heavy, and I think about New Orleans with fondness in my heart, instead of the bitterness you planted there. But I could be okay with you, too. A part of me hopes that someday, you call instead of text. Just so I know that you sometimes still think about us, too.

#merrocktask

[caranoirs]

was tagged by @sybilius ages ago (thank you bab), sorry it took so long to get round to it <3

what book are you currently reading?

not reading a book actually, but as part of research for my current uni project i've starting reading a CDA (Critical Discourse Analysis) called In the Hands of Morpheus: A Critical Discourse Analysis of Sleep, written by Eva Triebl.

not to bore anyone, but if you're curious it essentially discusses: Sleep as a public health issue, the exploitation of Sleep as a business opportunity (for example: the countless self-help books that are published; employers integrating workshops on Efficient Sleep (eg: Tom De Luca's "Power Napping For Less Stress") as a way to boost productivity from employees; etc), and how Sleep has been slowly reconceptualised as a lifestyle feature/commodity. riveting stuff.

what's your favourite film you saw in a cinema this year?

i haven't been to the cinema yet this year ngl, tho we might be seeing something for Mother’s Day? not sure yet, and honestly i don’t wanna think about having to travel home three weekends in a row lmao.

i haven’t seen anything yet mostly because i don't watch tv or listen to the radio so i'm very unaware of any new and upcoming films unless i hear them by Word of Mouth, but I also just don't actively enjoy going to the cinema either.

recently however, i semi-watched The Northman (2022; dir. Robert Eggers) and All Quiet On The Western Front (2022; dir. Edward Berger) at home with my brother. and as for things i do actually wanna watch at some point, i plan on watching Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022; dir. Daniel Kwan & Daniel Scheinert), Glass Onion (2022; dir. Rian Johnson), and The Banshees of Inisherin (2022; dir. Martin McDonagh).

what do you usually wear?

my glasses, probably. nah, i'm usually always wearing my brother's old air squadron (RAF Air Cadets) hoodie. i nicked it at first bc the one i have is very worn out, but now he just lets me keep it lol.

how tall are you?

ach, 5' 2.something"

do you share your birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

the ones i can remember, from when everybody searched up their birthdays in high school, are Kanye West, Bonnie Tyler, and Nancy Sinatra. and only recently i found out i share a birthday with Liv Morgan.

and as for events, (assuming the question doesn't mean birthyear too) the 2004 Transit of Venus occurred on my birthday! it’s an astronomical event where Venus moves directly between Earth and the Sun, and to us it shows up as a small black dot that passes the face of the Sun.

personally i think it's fucking awesome because the last pair of Venus Transits took places in 1874 and 1882 ⁠— more than a century ago! ⁠— meaning the people that witnessed it saw an event that no other living person at the time had ever seen!

do you go by your name or a nickname

i go by a nickname online, exclusively... i hope. generally i dislike my real name, but i feel a bit silly asking people to instead call me by my (irl) nickname more often.

did you grow up to be what you wanted to be as a child?

ngl i don't remember ever actively wanting to be something when i younger, so i can't really answer this one. and as for what as i wanna be now? i am still as bloody clueless and aimless as the next guy :)

are you in a relationship? if not, who is your crush?

nah

what's something you're good at versus something you're bad at?

uhhh i'm good at Language Analysis, maybe? i studied english language in college, and as taxing and exhausting as it was it's just stuck with me.

generally i'm bad a Multitasking. in the sense that i try and continuously fail to work through a list of tasks one at a time. i'll start on something, see something else and convince myself that i can, “Just Quickly Do This On The Way,” out of convenience or something…but then it repeats and repeats and i get distracted and diverted even more…and before i know it, i've started on ten tasks and am yet to finish any one of them!

it bleeds into my essay writing too. i waffle and ramble on a lot (which is why answering this tag game is taking so damn long tbh), my writing is too “flowery” as my (prick of an) English Teacher used to say. so it takes a lotta effort to redraft and refine absolutely everything i write lmao.

dogs or cats?

dragons and rabbits (yeah, and cats, shut up)

what's something you'd like to create content for?

not entirely sure how to interpret this question but oh well. i think i'd like to be a Ringside Photographer for indy wrestling shows around the uk? or just an events photographer in general. but honestly that all feels very idealistic right now.

what's something you're currently obsessed with?

i think Obsessed is too heavy a term to put anything into. i can't answer this with "wrestling" at the moment either because i've fallen out of love with it all again. saying that tho, i’ve been absolutely fascinated by cara noir for the longest time now so he's always in the back of my mind :))

i can answer this with music actually. dear Syb recommended me lent, by autoheart and sisyphus, by andrew bird, and i've had them circulating my playlists ever since

i can answer this with music! dear Syb recommended me lent, by autoheart a while ago and also sisyphus, by andrew bird, and i’ve had them circulating my playlists ever since. i'll rattle off a few others i've had on repeat lately too:

おつかれsummer, by halicali (rec'd by @highvisibility!)

damaged goods, by idles

touched, by vast

company, sir chloe (rec'd by @dunkzilladaddy!)

nobody knows (ladas road), by loyle carner

time, by timbaland & she wants revenge

what's up?, by 4 non blondes

i’m very aware how Wildly random these songs are lol, but people should believe me when i say i'm a sponge for new music… i do listen to your music recs, you silly fools <3

what's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

so much. i don't mean to be vague about it but yeah, a lot. 2023 has been complete and utter shite.

what's a hidden talent of yours?

it's so fucking childish of me lmao, and i think i mentioned it ages ago? but i have a habit of making sound fx with my mouth? water drops, engine sounds, a trumpet, bird sounds, etc...

honestly i can't think of anything apart from that :')

are you religious?

nah. but i believe that the culture and the genuine values and teachings religions can bring people can be important.

what's something you wish to have at this moment?

generally, a lot. but for the last six months or something, a pet.

i used to have a rabbit when i was younger but i don't remember him very much (i don't remember much of being a kid tbh). since then, i've never felt such an overwhelming need for company as i do right now. sincerely, i am sooo pet-starved and i would die to have a Little Creature to look after, but my Circumstances mean i can't have one.

this was long overdue getting around to this so i'll leave it open to anybody that fancies it, free to tag me if you do x

#tag games #some of it might sound weird bc i've been chipping away at it over the past week and a bit but thank you :) #idk if i’ve ever written at so much length about Me Things before. it's weirdly very challenging but alas! it’s bloody posted

[palmtreepalmtree]

I rarely do this stuff too @delgrosso but I appreciate the tag, so I'll bang this out.

Rules: answer these questions and tag some blogs you are contractually obligated to get to know better.

QUESTIONS:

Name: PalmtreePalmtree aka PTPT

Sign: Sag

Height: 5'4"

Time: 8:23 PST

Birthday: None of your beeswax, but I'm just barely Gen X

Favourite bands/artists: Prince, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, Cyndi Lauper, Jeff Buckley, Otis Redding, Bruce Springsteen, George Harrison, The Clash, T. Rex, The Cars, Phoenix, The Psychedelic Furs, Kate Bush, TENDER, Bonnie Raitt, INXS, Tears for Fears, Fleetwood Mac, Elton John, Bob Dylan, Dua Lipa, Robyn, fuck I could go on and on and on.

Last movie: Love and Gelato (it's on Netflix, I hate that I watched it)

Last show: Extraordinary Attorney Woo (it's on Netflix, I love that I watched it)

When I created this blog: 2012...?

What I post: Nothing of interest, mostly ranting about this and that, but I think people keep me around cause I comment on posts a lot.

Last thing I googled: “gems of war best zuul goth team” lol I'm a nerd

Other blogs: Towards the end of quarantine, I created a subblog "Museum of the Home" or something like that where I intended to solicit people's favorite art that they have in their houses. Since none of us could really go places then, I thought it would be interesting to see the personal art people live with, different artists from different places, and ideally in their home situ. But I never got around to doing it. I still think it's a nice idea. Maybe someday.

Do I get asks: No, but @duckandorpenguin took pity on me last time I said this. .

Following: 172

Followers: 448 (saving Tony's comment here: though only like 20 people regularly interact; I am sure the rest are bots)

Average hours of sleep: about six hours unless like an idiot I decide to look at my email when I wake up to roll over at 4am.

Instruments: I might remember how to play guitar if it came into my hands, a little piano.

What I'm wearing: black joggers, black t-shirt.

Dream job: Pretty much doing it - I primarily secure work visas for artists in the entertainment industry. I don't think there's anything that suits my skills better than that. It's my sweet spot. Either this or no job.

Dream trip: I want to walk across England.

Nationality: American, parents are Israeli, grandparents were German, Polish, and Ukrainian Jews. I often get mistaken for Armenian.

Favourite songs: Lover, You Should've Come Over by Jeff Buckley; I'm on Fire by Bruce Springsteen, When You Were Mine by Cyndi Lauper (by way of Prince), All I Want by Joni Mitchell, Try a Little Tenderness by Otis Redding, Just What I Needed by The Cars, fuck I could go on and on.

Last book I read: Kurzban Immigration Law Sourcebook, by Ira Kurzban - I appreciate the fuck out of Ira

3 fictional universes: There is only one fictional universe that matters, and it is Cabot Cove.

Alright, I'm gonna tag a few people if you wanna take a stab at this or need a distraction, but no obligation @myspaceshipleavesat10, @captainsnacks, @freemantim, @moresweetsoul, @davidkendall, and anyone else who wants to give this a go.

#thx to anyone who actually read this nonsense #annnnnyhoooow #love you guys #anyone can do this #i read them #still think museum of the home could be a cool thing #maybe some day