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#ugh the more i think about it the more frustrated i get
stinmybubs · 2 days
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"I want you."
AN: Hi hi! I haven't ever really posted on tumblr because I'm so obsessed with reading lol, but I just decided to say fuck it and write wtv I think of.
18+!! Please be advised there will be mature content! Minors I cannot control you but DNI if you do see this, thank you so much!
AFAB! Reader! x Bakugo Katsuki
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Bakugo is a hothead, we all know this as a fact. Getting close to him wasn't that easy, you found him a bit annoying because of his constant yelling every time someone tried to be nice to him.
You never considered Bakugo Katsuki as your type, maybe Kirishima, Midoriya, a little bit of Denki, hell Mina sure was up your alley. But the way you saw the hot headed boy changed a bit overtime, it was his calmness. He never really got out of line unless provoked or wanted to show off a bit. Which you found awfully cute.
It was the little things. Noticing how he treated those he kept around him, just the cute ways he'd refuse to make eye contact with people especially when he was embarrassed.
Sooner or later you found yourself staring at him more often, noticing how beautiful he was, yeah beautiful...but also how awfully hot he was. His biceps, chest, arms, legs, everything was just so ugh. The way he looked in tank tops just made you drool.
AN: Okay okay I'm getting off track of actual head cannons I am so sorry its been so long.
B Katsuki He notices how you stare, and cant say he hates the attention you give him, of course he loves it. He revels in it.
B Katsuki You never noticed, but he always kept an eye on you. Not only was he too afraid to speak to you but he knew you didn't see him in a good way. I mean you made it pretty obvious from the beginning and by the way you used to look at him. He was never too good at properly talking to someone. Especially people he liked. So he started with small things, trying to be calmer even though everything everyone said was stupid. He just wanted you to like him, but he didn't know if you ever will.
B Katsuki When he noticed the staring, his heart skipped. It made him nervous and he never knew where to look. But now, its time to show off even more knowing you're watching. He tried looking over from time to time to see your reaction to what he was doing, did you like it? But one time he saw you looking everywhere but his face and the smirk on his face when he found out...his ego inflated so much that day.
B Katsuki The worst part of trying to drop hints at Bakugo was hot but frustrating, the way you'd purposely bend over in his line of sight, or the way you'd purposely unbutton your shit whenever it was "hot." But the fucker never even looked your way or said anything.
B Katsuki Oh he noticed, he noticed your little tease. And how he longed to touch you. But what pissed him off about you doing this was how the other boys could see this, especially on one particular day.
Class 1-A decided to collectively work out together, especially try to motivate the non-athletic classmates. Your workout clothes weren't that different from the rest of the girls, a tank top and some work out shorts. You and the girls were kind of slacking off until Bakugo came over yelling for you guys to stop fooling around and actually work out or in his words. " Leave ya' takin up space." And with that the giggling was over.
"Ugh..." You groaned, leaning against a wall to regain your energy. You quickly grabbed the small towel you had resting on the bar while you were attempting to bench press, wiping the icky sweat from your forehead and chest.
"Eugh, water...need.." This time you weren't even attempting to be a tease, you just wanted some fucking water. You bend over to check the time on your phone, lowering your head with a hand on the wall, resting your eyes with a sigh.
"Ugh...we've been here for only 30min." You sigh, lifting yourself back up and stretching your back. Not realizing the fuming Katsuki staring at you.
"Oi' fuckers I didn't say you can stop workin' out!"
Bakugo yelled, noticing a handful of guys staring at you. Denki, mineta, Kirishima, and Sero. Now he's pissed.
AN: Uhhh, this turned out to be wayyyy more than headcannons. Safe to say that this is going to have a pt.2! Yay my first 2 parter! I cannot write long stories so :3 Oh! I am recently getting back into writing so I am very sorry if the grammar is horrid and the story sucks it was off the top of my head as I wrote, no pre-plan, no nothin. I am very sorry! But thank you for reading. <3
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unbearableblog · 11 hours
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To my birthday. I wish myself to one day be loved like that. Based on a dream
Dream Dish
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“Can you explain it a little more?”
“So, the outside was covered in dried cranberries and blueberries, but the inside was like… grass? I don’t know…”
“Grass? Sounds delicious,” he laughs.
“Shut up.”
Carmen listened intentively and moved away his curls as you described the dream you had, a certain dish that you tried there.
“Ugh, it was so weird? Like, I don’t think I’ve ever encountered this grass before. It was like hay, but green? And the outside of the dessert was like a fortune cookie, but brown?” you sigh in frustration, unable to describe its complexity in full, until an idea appears in your head. You quickly stand up and blurt out - “I’ll show you!”
You run to get the pencils and paper, leaving Carmen to sit amused on the bed. He knew waking up with you would be an adventure, but not in this way. Either way, he liked it.
“Here!” You put the paper down and frantically drew shapes and coloured them in, making the dream a reality.
“So! This is what it looks like.”
You paused from your driven spurt and realized that Carmen hasn’t said a word. He was silently looking at the paper.
“Sorry, this must be really boring to hear,” you suddenly shut down. After all, it was you who tried that magical dish, not him.
He looks up at you, then down at the paper. “No- …no, it’s a fascinating dish. I’m just tryna understand how it works,“ he still sounds kinda sleepy.
"It's okay, Carm, you don't have to."
Several days have passed and you moved on. You didn’t want to abandon your friends after getting a boyfriend, so today was one of the nights when you met up for a chat. When you came back, the apartment felt warmer and had a fruity scent - Carmen must have tried something for the restaurant.
You take your heels off and tiptoe to the kitchen, curious. He hasn’t heard you come in, so he is still hunched over the counter. Your eyes shifted to the table - and you wondered whether you were awake.
“Carmen? What’s that?”
“Shit!” he jumps, at which you chuckle, “when’d you come back?”
“Right now,” you say hesitantly, “why, was I not supposed to?”
“Of course not,” he comes to hug you. His arms are on your waist, and you know he can still smell your perfume. “I just wanted to surprise you,” he releases you and turns to the table.
You recognize the dish.
“Is that-”
“Yes, baby, that’s your dish,” he smiles and looks kinda proud.
“Can I try it?” you ask, and he reaches down to take the plate and a spoon. You break the cookie in half, inspect the filling, and eat it. As you chew, the insanity of the situation grows on you. This is a made-up dish. From your dream. You’re eating it.
“I-I’m sorry, I couldn’t find the exact grass you were talkin’ about, I had to switch it out with-”
“It’s okay, Carm, I’m sure that if it existed you would have found it,” you put the plate down and your hands slide to his arms, “It’s amazing. It didn’t taste nearly as good in the dream,”
“It is pretty good, isn’t it?” he takes the other half of the cookie and eats it too.
“Hey, that’s mine!”
”I made it.”
“I came up with it.”
He doesn’t respond, just smiles at you. You look him in the eyes and think how happy you are.
“I love you,” he whispers and gives you a kiss.
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muffinsin · 2 days
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well hello there 👋🏼
I'm wondering if you could do a hc on the sisters.
after a long and frustrating day they just want to relax and sleep with their S/O so they go into their room...annnnnnd...
They are meet with their S/O asleep wearing a FLIE ONESIE!!!!!! With some of their flies curled up in their arms!!
(unfortunately I don't think flies onesies exist.... BUT let's just image one 💭)
Just think how adorable it would be!!
This has me hella curious whether such a onesie exists!👀 And awh, my cold little heart. How adorable XP
Using this as an opportunity to make an occasional reaction post again🙌
Let’s get into it! :)
Masterlists
Bela
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She doesn’t believe what she’s seeing, at first
In fact, she barely makes out that it’s you in the beginning, rather than some…bug pile with the occasional limb
She is careful as she steps closer, as though to inspect the strange pile on her bed
When she sees your face poking out, and hears her own flies buzzing back at her, she feels as though she melts and her heart aches with the love she feels
You look adorable!
Carefully, she pulls the blanket up to your shoulders
She giggles when she spots the fly wings at the back of the onesie. How cute, indeed
All her worries melt away instantly
No more annoying sisters
No more incompetent staff members
No more screaming prisoners
No more expectations from Mother
No more
In this moment, she exists with you, only the two of you
As she moves on the bed, you stir and whine in your sleep. For a moment, she worries she woke you up
Then, you keep sleeping, but are not entirely unaware of the cold nose pressing into your neck and the long arms wrapping around you protectively
She smiles, and with this smile, she falls asleep and rests at last
Cassandra
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Truly- she doesn’t quite recognize the figure sleeping on her bed as you, at first
Her first thought? A mutt, a lycan, that somehow found its way into her room
For a few seconds, a wide grin spreads on her lips at the prospect of gutting the creature on her bed, of taking it out and crafting with its skin
It excites her so much, she forgets about her awful day in an instant!
She no longer thinks of Bela scolding her, of Daniela annoying and teasing her over small mistakes and clumsiness
She no longer thinks of Mother’s loudly spoken- yelled- words when she intentionally failed to catch the intruder
Then, however, just as she is about to pounce..she stops herself
Lucky you, and your perfect damn face, she thinks, as it sticks out from the onesie
Her own flies buzz at her aggressively, as though protecting you from her
She merely rolls her eyes at the little bugs
“Scoot!”, she snaps at them, a satisfied smirk spreading on dark painted lips when they follow her command and she is able to slip into bed with you instead
She chuckles a bit to herself, eager to scold you lightly for this in the morning
This, and the stupidly cute wings at the back of your onesie. She doesn’t even look like that!!
Huffing, she decides to curl against you for now. She supposes , she will have to kill you another day for another dangerous idea of yours
Daniela
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She huffs and whines as she swarms into the room, positively riled up and overwhelmed from the day she’s had
Not only did she get scolded by her Mother! Of all people
But even Bela wouldn’t see her side of the story,
and Cassandra refused to break Mother’s rules for her this time! She just wanted to go hunting too!
Her sister never cared that she was technically grounded!
Until today, it seems…Daniela groans at the mere thought
Then, on top of that, she lost her sickle!
And displaced her favorite book!
Ugh! What a nightmare of a day!
Still, all her annoyance and trouble is thrown out the window when she swarms into her room and finds you like this
Your knees tucked to your chest, your face partly covered by the hood of your fly onesie
She definitely gushes over you. You look so adorable! Like a mini-her!
She loves it!
And her flies, all over you? Adorable!
She pets them gently and presses kisses to your face lovingly
Maybe, she’ll wake you up
She doesn’t quite mean to, she’s just excited!
Really, she can’t help jumping on the bed!
Or squeezing your cheeks
Or straddling you and turning you to get a good look at the onesie!
When you do eventually wake up, she merely giggles shyly and rubs her cheek against yours
“I’m sorry, love, go back to sleep”, she whispers with a smile
You aren’t about to fight this in the slightest
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Talking about pegging Jake is not good while I’m OVULATING ugh fuck, he’s such a baby back bitch..I want to ruin him and put him back together..just want to BREAK him and stitch him back up..ending up sucking on my tits (oral fixation) (Did I just write this🫣🤭)
Edging Jake would be so delightful. He tries to appear unbothered, even commenting he could go "all night."
But after the fifth edge? He's a blubbering mess. His words are slurred as he begs you to let him come.
"I don't know," your fingers lightly graze his hard cock, eliciting a desperate whine from him, "Are you going to be a good boy?"
"Y-yes." He has tears in his eyes. Jake is willing to do anything for you. His hips are jerking erratically, practically humping the air. Any shame he had was gone.
Hesitantly, you prop his knees up to his chest, "You gonna apologize to everyone tomorrow?"
He nods desperately, "Yes! I'll, I'll do it tomorrow."
The head of the silicone cock brushed against his hole, making him drop his head back, sighing out of relief.
But the relief quickly turned to panic when he realized you hadn't moved, only the tip was in.
Jake needed it all.
"Who are you gonna apologize to? Tell me."
Jake briefly thinks about pushing himself down on the strap on. He has the strength, his hands are free.
But the potential punishment stopped him.
Instead, he merely whimpered, hoping those green eyes would garner sympathy from you.
"I'll give you a hint baby. It's five people. Name all five and I'll let you come."
A frustrated groan escaped Jake's lips. Your eyes narrowed and you pulled your hips back, beginning to leave him-
"B-Bradshaw!" You smiled, thrusting forward slightly.
"Good boy. Now name the rest."
"N-Nat?" His brain was scrambled. All he could think about was you, how you were ever so slowly filling him up.
"Three more."
"P-Reuben?" Jake's brain tried to think back to today's earlier events, which was what caused him to be lying on his back in the first place.
"Two more." Your hips move closer towards the back of his thighs.
Jake practically sobs, trying to think through the haze who else he offended.
"M-Mav?" His voice is weak, body shaking.
It's a delicious sight to witness.
You pull away, ignoring his cries, "No baby. He deserved that. But you should thank him for saving your neck."
You giggled as his body squirmed. Leaning over, your mouth captured one of his hard nipples, your hot tongue swirling around the hardened bud.
When met with Jake's groans, you simply tsked, not even bothering to hide your smirk. Why should you? He knew you delighted in this just as much as him.
"C'mon baby, gimme two more names." The head of the silicone cock now brushed against Jake, teasing.
After all, he needed to focus.
Your thumb wiped across the slit on the head of his cock, relishing in the groan the pretty blonde man made. Jake was putty in your hands. While getting up and walking away was possible, the thought never crossed his mind.
Your other hand gripped the base of the strap on, guiding it towards where Jake wanted it the most.
"Two more names Jake. I'm waiting."
His whole head felt fuzzy. With each minute that passed he slipped further and further into that headspace. It's what he craved, what he needed. It was why he always acted so bold and brash. From the first day you met him, you knew he was silently begging for someone to put him in his place.
He still wrestled with it, the idea of fully submitting himself to someone else. It went against everything he had been told, everything that had been ingrained in his head from the beginning.
A harsh thrust, filling him completely sent the pilot gripping the bed sheets. His hips thrashed against the mattress, struggling to adjust to the size.
The privilege of time had been revoked several edges ago. You pulled your hips back, only to thrust forward again, building up a fast rhythm.
"S'good." Jake was a withering mess underneath you, a far cry from the cocky man from earlier. From how his cock twitched to his knuckles turning white, you knew he was close.
"I know. Such a shame."
He's so lost in pleasure your words don't even register. No, it's not until you abruptly pull out, leaving him empty and desperate that Jake realizes what's happened.
"I told you baby. Two more names."
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thebewilderer · 1 year
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petition for people to stop talking to me about their self-diagnosing with random shit based on stereotypes and the pathologization of normal behaviors that's being spread around on ticktocks as if I'll care or support them in any way whatsoever
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eternalwyrm · 2 years
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i’d just like to remind everyone that the original bee and puppycat series on youtube is STILL canon like. everything happened in that still counts. (also i sound very pissy in this, especially the tags, but please know that it’s meant to be a lighthearted reminder)
lazy in space canonically picks up after the youtube series. think of the first couple of netflix episodes as a summary for people who have literally never heard of the show before. yes, it has its faults (i’ve seen people calling it “too boring”, weird pacing, etc etc whatever) but think of it as a weird recap. it’s there for the sake of getting us comfortable to the new style and adding more exposition/character background. again, it has its faults with that but i’m not here to discuss that. the point is that the first couple netflix episodes are basically for people who have literally never heard of bee and puppycat before and maybe saw an ad or two, or opened netflix and saw this new charming show or whatever, and are seeing it for the first time. it’s not expected of them to immediately google the title and watch the original. yes, we lost some iconic lines and scenes in the recap, but those are still canon, they’re still up and we can watch them; and again it was for the sake of the recap and added exposition. like it’s because of the remade episodes that we know more about bee’s dad. that we know more about bee’s past and puppycat’s connection to that. we’ve gotten more hints and background details that add to the story, characters, and the future of the show (the three separate music boxes, the symbols on the screens of puppycat’s ship, how deckard and cass see bee [“weird old lady girl”], literally more info on cardamon besides “he’s a child landlord and is sad and stressed”, etc etc etc)
like i can get the parts that are frustrating to long time fans, i literally have the original memorized so uh. i get it, but still. it’s more than just “we retconned things LOL!” because i don’t really think it was retconning. original plots were a little simplified but they added more to what we already knew. whatever, i’m off topic. the point is: yes, it’s sad that netflix doesn’t have those iconic lines but those are still canon. the original is still canon. lazy in space canonically takes place after the original series. take that as you will.
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todayisafridaynight · 2 months
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tbh I really wanted the 3jimas to win that fight, to have Kiryu realize that his actions have consequences and that maaayybeee the people he keeps disappearing on to only reappear briefly to make demands of are finally sick of it and the rose tinted glasses of admiration have come off
no absolutely i really needed kiryu to just. //shakes him//
another thing i really wish we got from IW was daigo going off on kiryu- like he STARTED to but i needed that Y4 shit RIGHT NOW. if Y4 did anything right, it definitely helped broaden daigo's character in how having the chairman title pushed onto him was stressing him out and having him express this to kiryu was SO cathartic, even if daigo's words ultimately mean nothing to kiryu (or at the very least, kiryu did a bad job on understanding daigo's grievances and helping him afterwards)
it really is agitating that the jimas ended up going to the tower anyway too. i get that saejima and majima are kiryu's ex-colleagues and daigo's practically his son, and the fight was supposed to be a 'wake up call' for them. but it just diminishes the anger we saw from daigo in that first scene (and as if i have to say it, daigo becoming angry is a rare thing so that when it does happen its so jarring and it's meant to be serious) and it continues to excuse kiryu's general disregard for others if it means he gets what he wants.
its unfathomable to me that after nearly two decades of holding a position daigo didnt want for the sake of his idol, he finally gets to break away from it. and now his idol's just waltzing back into his life- after acting like he was dead for three years- asking for ANOTHER favor. and daigo's just supposed to accept it. if kiryu wasnt literally dying i just know he'd keep doing this until his last breath and no one would punish him for it because despite how many times he claims to understand daigo's woes, it's evident he doesn't care enough to leave him out of things
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opens-up-4-nobody · 4 months
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...
#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying#shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl#in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated#bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not#her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet#so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive#personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd#compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from#happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is#like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil#not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am#barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me#and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them#but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and#thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard#to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds#nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of#brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but#that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer#defying the stats but for how much longer?#i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it#i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else#excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things#unrelated#ed mention#i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama#bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]
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junotter · 1 month
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sometimes researching for avatar redesigns has you 6 layers deep into the Japan's Meiji era allies wiki
#im trying to mess with some of the stuff that feels weird about the ways the fire nation is depicted idk#like i do not feel optically it is good for like them to be so heavily based on japan's imperialist actions#while dressed in clothes that come from places japan colonized#but i dont want it to just be solely japanese though i did draw zuko and azula in hakama but its largely cause i wanted to draw hakama#and like the only place with strong japanese influence being kiyoshi island and my own frustration with the modern day samurai depiction#i think fundamentally it isnt a choice that had as much thought as i am putting in put into it but it does raise an eyebrow for me#anyway i think keeping the thai influence is fine despite the brief invasion japan had into thailand due to thailand then allying with japa#and further allying with the axis due to allying with japan#ugh and ive been told not to think this much about it because its fiction but its also fiction so so so heavily based on real places#and when you base fiction on real cultures you fall into some unintentional pitfalls#i also fucking hate the royal fire nation robes they look so meh and the most costumey out of everything in the show#they look like heavy blankets despite being a supposedly hot nation#theres ways to have heavy robes (heian era japan) but they look like i make them out of fleece and velvet blankets#back to kiyoshi island i think the really only aesthetically japanese reference in the show being an island of noble warriors is lame#plus over done#it feels like nowadays theres a lot of people who get all whiney about people saying fire nation is based off japan#but like dude the creators in the comics and korra like go even more into the japanese influence and clearly it was the original intentions#also i do think you could do some pretty interesting world building by having say there be an older cultural influence on kiyoshi island#from the fire nation especially if the place is established as a central port area then you tie in some okinawan or even hawaiian reference#and gives an explanation that makes sense to why kiyoshi stands out from the rest of the earth kingdom you have long term cultural trading#and it establishes interesting relationships even pre kiyoshi time thereby drawing back onto some real historic references#cause for awhile ryukyu china and japan used to be this trading triangle which could explain some of these various influences going on#i think you can get a really interesting harmony when you create the fire nation out of a mix of japan and thailand#i mean both have these floating buildings due to living on some pretty wet lands and theres harmony in that mix#god i did see one person go like “fire nation is more based on china because theres a lot of red and red is important in china”#my brother in christ red is also important in japan#red is important in like many many asian cultures#i mean of course a lot of that importance stems from china and cultural exchange with china but idk kinda silly to say with your whole ches#like if you want to bring china in then the dragons are the biggest thing like sure some mythos has dragons in japan#but a lot of those comes from china in some way
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blueskittlesart · 2 years
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i don't mean to be an ass but people who go so hard on lesbian zelda always ick me out 😭 its giving "im gonna headcanon the main female character who has romantic subtext with the main male character as a lesbian so she doesn't get in the way of me shipping him with other male characters" 😵
yeah ur right lmaoo its totally like. normalized in fandom to just. make female love interests lesbians so they don't "get in the way" of mlm ships ESPECIALLY if the girl in question is mean to men sometimes. i don't DISLIKE lesbian zelda by any means i would be insane for that im literally lesbian. and i LOVE a lot of wlw zelda ships. but i totally agree that she sometimes gets the 'mean lesbian who i only decided was lesbian so i dont have to think about her in relation to my male fave' treatment. and its frustrating as a lesbian lmao like. wlw ships are already obviously looked down upon in fandom and then you add into the mix the idea that lesbian is a fucking. filler sexuality for Girl I Do Not Like when she gets a little too close to the man i want to throw at every other male character regardless of characterization or chemistry. being a lesbian in fandom spaces is uhhhhh literally exhausting sometimes lol like crazy concept i know but we r actually real people and not just an excuse to ignore female characters.
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bostonbakeddeans · 6 months
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i think that being trapped in a room for 12 hours while various sitcoms play in the background without being allowed to question the premise of the shows should be classified as a hate crime actually
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sux2be · 25 days
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taking my heart out and stomping into the ground dont you dare get another friend crush. dont fucking do it.
#ITS SO FRUSTRATING !!!!!#i think someone is cool and then they pay an attention to me and i am lost#i am drawing them pics and making them little gifts and thinking about all the fun things we can do together#i spend my free time thinking of reasons to talk to them#u might be like hmm this sounds like a romantic crush#but i can assure it is not#it CAN turn into one over many years#i kno bc one did and i suffer even more for it#its Very Obvious bc when its a non-platonic crush i will get suuuuuper possesive and jealous#but UGH friend crushes suck especially bc i dont have the bandwidth to rly pursue them AND#i always feel like i come at it too intensely so in order to escape rejection i run#its fine i am fine i can be Normal about things#its okay i will hide from this one like ive done all the others#its this person named Toad and they are so cool they do like climate activisim and they support local punk bands#its also reminding me of Dev. i am so sorry dev.#he was this super cool ass dude that i worked with for 4 years and he was So Neat and interesting to talk to#he knew soooooo much about cooking and he was really well read#and his humor was great. super dry and sarcastic i was always laughing lol#i wanted to be friends with him SO BAADDD#and he has no social media or even like. texting#so before i left i demanded his email address#and I emailed him One time and he replied and i ghosted him#bc here is another issue: i cant fucking communicate#how keep friends if u dont talk to them????#anyways the brain worms are eating good tonight
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neverendingford · 2 months
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Therapists have two genders:
Professional Asshole and
Well-meaning Incompetent
#color says shit#text post#replying to my therapist is the most frustrating thing in the world. ma'am you think you're building rapport with me?#I hate to tell you but you've been wildly unsuccessful if that's what you think you've been doing here.#stop trying to educate me about my bullshit diagnoses that I already know about from my years on the internet.#like. babygirl I'm over here trying to build up to feeling comfortable enough to talk about the six-layer trauma cake I've got going on#and you're over here showing me a diagram consisting of two concentric circles meant to convey the idea of self versus other#you're very nice and trying to be helpful but I don't want to fucking talk about the girlfriend I want to talk about the issues that matter#girlfriend is an experiment. the other shit is stuff that lives in our fucking soul. shit that made me into the weird person fragment I am#and I had to fight for an hour. therapist kept on scheduling us for half an hour. HALF A FUCKING HOUR HALF AN HOUR ISN'T ENOUGH TIME TO TALK#I had to fight for it and even when she finally scheduled us for an hour she still tried to cut it short#I had to pull up the appointment confirmation to prove I had an hour allotted. like seriously what the fuck.#one of those people who had their own mental struggles and then is like “I want to become a therapist and help other people uwu”#and then is fucking useless and projects their own issues onto someone else and shoves their personal solutions onto you#like someone in r/aita projecting their own shitty relationship onto someone else. some of us are different Daryl#ugh I'm so fucking pissed and I'm not giving up the controller until I get this shit sorted out for now.#r wanted to hop back on this morning in the shower and we had a shouting match but our deal was she takes a week break so I'm keeping it#because too much shit has built up and she's been not doing so hot so I'm gonna get this mess cleaned up before I let her back on.#I bought groceries. I did laundry. I got the car repairs done. I got our bike fixed up. I showered. I did dishes. I'm going to#and I'm going to get even more done tomorrow. maybe then I'll go back to watching over her shoulder and backseat gaming but not for a while.#it feels nice though. like I get to finally stretch my arms and yawn real good.#and btw to answer the question she's always fucking asking. she's not ace in the slightest lmao. I am and the bleed over confuses her.#there. question answered so maybe she can stop asking about it.#I feel like in her push to find herself she kinda pushed me back into the corner. which... ngl that hurts a little.#oh well. you don't need to hear about our lovers' quarrel. I'm going to bed in these cozy fresh bed sheets I just put on the bed.
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dockaspbrak · 6 months
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what the hell
#ok not to be rude but#i sort of cant handle the depression perhaps anymore like it is unending#i dont understand why god cant just give me theability to reanimate the dead or perhaps just do it himself#i miss the little guy i kind of dont know what to even do#i feel stupid bc i feel like its like....people dont really perhaps i just dont think people are that cool about talking abt grief#esp about pets..like#i feel silly for being so depressed but i also cant perhaps handle it#the self loathing is really hitting a peak this week idk like#where do ie ven go from here is my thought i guess i dont really want to be alive or do anything i just miss him so much#he was so sweet and small#i keep getting served videos about like senior 20 yr old cats being surrendered to shelters and like#im so mad like id do anything to have gotten 2 more years with him wht the fuck are you giving them up for#what the hell#its frustrating because ir eally dont want to be comforted or even spoken to about this im just like mad#mad and bargaining clearly i forget what stages those are#depressed yet pissed off also like what the fuck did he do to deserve this it was so fucking fast#cherish your fucking pets. treasure every fucking day#ugh#maybe ill try a different kind of eating again for awhile tbh lets see what thats like in the new context of living w regan#its hard bc its human nature to criticize and correct i think so its hard to feel like i have the space to do what i want? bc of that....#idk idk
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silvercaptain24 · 5 months
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ddejavvu · 1 year
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DAMN 😭
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