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tcfactory · 5 months

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Party Planning and Other Deadly Hazards I

5k words of Shang Qinghua bonding with Linguang-jun over being overworked and underappreciated

For the sake of this story, Mobei is roughly 15, Shang Qinghua and Linguang-jun are both 18. Shoutout to @mysteryteacup, whose analysis posts convinced me of the potential in "Linguang-jun is Very Young, Actually". Our Mobei-jun's birth name is Mobei Xuebao (Snow leopard), Shang Qinghua is Shang Cangshu (Hamster), Linguang-jun is Mobei Taifeng (Typhoon)

Also on AO3.

It all started with a small change. You see, Shang Qinghua's shizun made a reckless promise that whoever could push a medicine deal through with the Black Mire Sect - a minor sect skirting the edge of demonic practices by specializing in gu poisons - would take over as his new head disciple. The sect was situated right on the borderlands between the human realm and the northern demon kingdom and they were very reluctant to trade away any of their precious poisons, because they faced constant harassment from a lesser tribe of Snowtusk Boar demons just on the other side of the border. Clearly whoever could get them to agree to a deal would have to be a naturally gifted negotiator!

Usually Airplane ignores these kinds of risky assignments, but the temptation of skipping three years of backstabbing, social climbing and manual labor was too tempting. Besides, he knew how to solve this one. It was one of the wife plots in PIDW so Luo Binghe could marry the sect leader's beautiful daughter.

Step 1: Get rid of the boars. He could, of course, not do this on his own. No way. However, through the power of authorial knowledge, he could tip Mobei-jun off that the tribe stole one of the ancient artifacts of the Mobei clan after a chaotic battle and hid it away in their stronghold. His prince was a little skeptical, but Qinghua had not led him astray yet in the few months since he became his spy. The next time they met, Mobei-jun was generously splattered with pig demon blood and he was proudly holding a crystal necklace that could control all the ice sheets of the northern sea at once, apparently.

So that was that for the boars.

Step 2: Wait a little for the other local demon tribes to fight out who gets to settle in the newly vacated prime location. Shang Qinghua made a passing comment about how the Silkwing tribe could supply a 'generous benefactor' with the highest quality fabrics in the entire northern kingdom and would you look at that, this conflict got resolved much quicker than in PIDW.

Step 3: Introduce the sect leader and their new, much more agreeable, demon neighbors to each other. The Silkwing tribe happened to be a tribe of crane demons who, just like the Black Mire Sect, specialized in insect keeping. Their most prized specimens were the various demonic moths and spiders they cultivated for their silk, but they kept a wide variety of other critters as well. It was a match made in heaven! (Or rather in one of Master Airplane's caffeine fueled all-nighters, just so Binghe could meet a cute bisexual crane girl at the negotiations and turn the whole adventure into a two-brides-special wedding.)

Step 4: Profit! Trade agreement in hand Qinghua showed up at his shizun's house and received his much deserved promotion. The whole plan went off without a hitch, job well done, success and happiness all around! The next morning he moved into the head disciple's apartment and breathed a sigh of relief that he no longer had to live in fear of someone discovering his association with Mobei by barging into his bedroom without knocking.

If only that was the end of it.

-----

Shang Qinghua has barely settled into his new duties as head disciple when one morning Mobei-jun grabs him straight out of bed, before he could comprehend what's happening or put on some actual clothes, and drops him off somewhere in the Northern Palace.

"Baobao, what in the fresh hell did you bring me?!"

The outrage cry comes from a stressed looking demon youth who stares at Qinghua like someone handed him a dead rat instead of a report. He's obviously a Mobei relative, his black hair glossy with a blue-ish sheen and his demon mark a bright teal, but his hair is done up with feathers and beads in the style of the wind demon tribes.

"Qinghua. He's good at organizing." As if on second thought, Mobei-jun snarls at the other demon boy, showing all his teeth. "He's mine. If you hurt him, I'll kill you."

After that he wordlessly stomps away, leaving the equally confused human and demon behind.

Shang Qinghua wants nothing more than to ask a million questions right now - where is he? why did Mobei take him here?? who's the other guy??? - but now that he's more awake than asleep he's suddenly realizing that the room is extremely cold and he's only dressed in his sleeping robes. Are his toes turning blue?! His toes are probably turning blue.

"Here." A delicately carved box is shoved in his face, open and full of uniform black pills. "Aurora Pepper pills. I asked to borrow the domestic staff from Xiao Bao’s castle, but if you are the only help I get, I want you not to freeze to death."

"My lord, are they safe for humans?" They should be. It's one of the plot devices he made up so the Wives could visit the North and still wear their ridiculously skimpy outfits without dying, but who knows what an ice demon would have mixed into them. Shang Qinghua carefully picks just one and pops it in his mouth anyway.

"No idea, they were for my mother. You are a cultivator, are you not? You can survive a little poison."

If this demon is as young as he looks - as young as his outfit leads Qinghua to believe, which is somewhere between fourteen and twenty - then his core is not yet settled. Even if the ice demon parentage runs stronger in him - which is obvious, he's wearing the equivalent of summer robes for northern demonkin - he would have bouts when his core slants towards wind and he would find the cold of the north unbearable for a few days. So this is likely his own stash of pills he offered one from, which is awfully nice when one of your kin just dumps their human on you.

"This lowly one thanks the young master for his generosity!"

"Hmph. At least you have manners, unlike your master." The youth retreats behind a desk piled so high with scrolls and bamboo slats he’s barely visible behind them. "Qinghua, was it? This lord is Linguang-jun."

"Answering, this one is Shang Qinghua, head disciple of An Ding peak." He thanks his survival instinct that he manages to fold into a bow before his surprise shows on his face. Based on the nephew abandonment incident he always pictured Mobei's uncle as someone much older.

"An Ding? Good. Maybe you will be of use, after all." Linguang-jun gestures for Shang Qinghua to join him at the desk. "On account of his sudden spirited showing in regards to the Silkwings and the recovered artifact, my royal brother has finally taken interest in his third-born son. To welcome him to court he ordered a feast to be held, the success of which will determine Mobei San's standing in court and reflect on this lord’s qualifications as an organizer."

"Forgive this lowly one for the question, but why is the Mobei-jun's own brother in charge of such affairs? It should be the duty of the royal seneschal." Or perhaps the queen consort. Since he never had to write a wife plot with any member of the main Mobei clan he might have handwaved a lot of the court related worldbuilding. Still, he's certain there were at least three or four people who had to be unavailable before such a task would land on the desk of the king's brother.

"This lord is the seneschal," Linguang-jun says in a dejected voice. A pained frown slips past his not-yet-perfected mask of stoicism and Shang Qinghua realizes that 1. Linguang-jun is very, very young to be filling this position and 2. he’s probably one stroke of misfortune away from an anxious meltdown. This Qinghua can relate, kid. "My royal brother's temper has decimated his household and, in his paranoia, he refuses to replace the staff he kills. Ever since this one's mother passed three years ago, he has been tasked to fulfill every duty pertaining to household management, including those of the late queen consort."

After looking over a crumpled scroll detailing all of Linguang-jun's current duties, Shang Qinghua has a sudden understanding why the demon resents his brother so much. It’s not just the duties of the royal seneschal, he is doing the work of at least five different people, all of them near full-time jobs in their own right!

"Sorry kid, you are clearly too young for this shit." He didn't mean to say it out loud, but luckily for him the demon doesn't react to the irreverent tone beyond an agitated twitch of his eyebrows. "All right, let’s see what we have to work with."

It proves to be very little. Shang Qinghua looks over the list of the available staff (too short), the amount of food and other supplies Linguang-jun managed to drum up since his brother saddled him with this task last evening (not nearly enough to feed the obnoxiously long guest list) and the time available to them…

“He wants you to put together this party in three days?!” For someone who had only been a vague shadow with malicious intent in the back of Shang Qinghua’s mind whenever he thought about the dangerous demons he might run into while serving his prince, Linguang-jun is rapidly gaining a lot of his sympathy. “Can you even get all these guests here in three days? Jiuzhong-jun lives two months away even if he takes the fastest horses!”

For a royal prince’s introduction to court it was important to get as many of the bigshots present as possible, so they could all take a good look at him and decide if they wanted to try to sic their own spawns on him for a courting chase or not. Jiuzhong-jun doesn’t have any children yet, but he has plenty of nieces he could try to marry out into other clans. He would never miss the chance to come and gawk at the introduction of a Mobei prince.

“Mhm. Xiao Bao has that part covered. While we make this feast happen somehow, he’s going to spend the next two days transporting in all the guests with his portals.” Linguang-jun digs into one of his many piles of scrolls and shoves one detailing the scheduled arrivals into Shang Qinghua’s face. “At least the issue of housing them until the party solves itself on its own. Granny Oxbones is the reigning queen of the guest wing and she wouldn’t accept my input on where to put all these guests even if I bothered to offer any.”

Airplane carefully files it away in the back of his mind that when Linguang-jun gets stressed enough he still refers to his nephew with familiar nicknames as something to consider later, and tries to focus on the task at hand. So the current Mobei-jun hasn’t eradicated all of the old servants - the kitchen and housekeeping staff escaped his paranoia, as well as most of the guards and the hunters - only the ones in the highest positions. That should solve at least part of their problems.

“Okay, so we only have to handle decorating the feasting hall, source a fitting outfit for my prince and get the food ready.”

“What about the serving staff? I don’t have enough people to cater a party this big.”

“That’s easy, have the guardsmen fill in. Let them do something more than standing around and gawking. If there are complaints about the task being below them, tell them that they can take from the leftovers, most of the guests will be too busy brawling or scheming to eat anyway.” Demons love to eat, same as everybody, and even a bite or two of the delicacies served at their lords’ table should be ample temptation to get the guardsmen on board. “But this does mean that we need to make sure that the food is great. Does Linguang-jun have the menu from either of the elder princes’ introduction feasts? No reason to break our brains coming up with something new, nobody will care as long as the food is good enough.” It’s still an awful amount of work for three days, but it’s not undoable if he can tap into the Mobei clan’s supply network and doesn’t have to account for whatever happens to the guests before and after the feast.

“I think I have the menu for Mobei Er’s feast somewhere.” Linguang-jun abandons the desk to rifle through one of the filing cabinets dominating the walls of his study. “We will need to substitute some of the dishes, because that feast was in winter.”

“Still better than having to write the whole menu from scratch.”

“En.”

“Does Linguang-jun have any suggestion where to get my prince a suitable outfit?” For the lack of anything better to do, Shang Qinghua starts organizing the scrolls left on the desk. Linguang-jun’s handwriting is very similar to Mobei San’s, but nothing at all like the blocky characters of the current Mobei-jun. They probably learned from the same ice fairy tutor, which further confirms how absurdly close they are in age.

“I have something arranged with the Silkwings,” Linguang-jun calls back over his shoulder, halfway disappearing into the cabinet as he digs among the stored scrolls. “But - Hah! Found it! - Qinghua has to be the one to convince Mobei San to go. He won’t go anywhere if this uncle tells him to.”

“Ah.”

“Don’t just gape at me,” Linguang-jun says, smacking him reasonably lightly over the shoulder with the scroll until he gets the hint and takes it. “Take this down to the kitchen, then tell your master that if he doesn’t want to go to his own feast wearing my old robes, then he should go visit the Silkwings, the sooner the better.”

Shang Qinghua pales at the idea of wandering the main Northern Fortress alone. “I- this servant worries that the kitchen staff will not heed his words…”

Linguang-jun seems to consider this for a moment, but he finally comes to the conclusion that his life is easier if his nephew’s pet cultivator doesn’t come to harm. He digs around in his desk until he produces a bone hairstick with a bead and a feather dangling from it. “If you wear this, the staff will know that you are working for this lord. Ask a maid for directions and be quick about it!”

True to Linguang-jun’s words, the staff is nothing if not cooperative once they realize that Shang Qinghua is working directly with him to stop the upcoming party from crashing and burning. The demon aunties and uncles running the kitchen fill him in, between tallying all the ingredients they are going to need for the feast and plying him with sweet treats, that the staff has been in a panic ever since the first orders about the feast came in. There is the grim threat of death hanging over their heads if the end result isn’t impressive enough and Mobei-jun feels humiliated by their showing. Apparently this is going to be the first bigger event Linguang-jun is organizing on his own, without the help of his late mother, and his staff is worried about sabotage.

“Does Linguang-jun have many enemies in court?” Shang Qinghua asks, lifting a tiny demon granny up so she can take stock of one of the too tall ingredient shelves.

“He has one and it’s more than enough! Mobei-jun never got over it that his late queen mother birthed one more son after the acceptable period for fratricide was over.” Airplane was proud of that world building detail. Obviously no demon lord wants to have any relative who might challenge his claim, but eradicating the entire extended family is a very fast way for a clan to die out. So, following a leader’s grab of power, there’s a socially acceptable five years when they can murder any relative they can catch, but once that’s over they are expected to limit themselves to those who challenge their position. “I tell you, daozhang, it’s not a coincidence the feast is happening when the hunters are away and we are low on supplies! And what is the king doing instead of procuring a beast for the fighting showcase of his son? Drinking and lazing around in his quarters, that’s what! Poor Xiao Bao, such a sweet snowflake, this old granny worries that his entry to court will be ruined!”

-----

Shang Qinghua is still turning that around in his head when he goes to find Mobei Xuebao later - It took almost no effort to get the grannies to reveal his prince’s birth name. Such a cute name for such a fierce demon! Airplane jokingly wrote it on the margin of his drafts, but he never expected the System to take it and run with it - carrying a big mug of fortifying ice slushie.

His prince looks beyond exhausted after opening portals all over the demon realm since morning and he accepts the refreshing drink without so much as a growl. He does, however, hiss angrily at Qinghua when he recognizes the hairstick stuck into his bun. “How dare he claim you?! You are mine !”

“Ah, my prince, please be calm! It’s only a token so the staff won’t eat me. I am to return it once we are done here.” Qinghua is actually not sure about that, but better not aggravate his prince when he’s in a possessive mood.

“You’d better.” He stops trying to rip it out of Qinghua’s hair, but he still stares at it angrily while Shang Qinghua rattles off the details of the arrangement made with the Silkwings. Mobei shows no enthusiasm for getting new court robes tailored, but at Qinghua’s insistent nagging he makes an affirmative sound that yes, he is going to go, now stop asking .Airplane is not perfectly sure what the kitchen aunties put in the slushie, but Mobei’s mood almost thaws by the time he eats the last of the sweet berries they added to it. A wonderful good mood that lasts for all of five minutes before Linguang-jun turns the corner and yells at both of them.

“What are you still doing here?! Don’t you have things to do other than standing around?” Linguang-jun is flushed a pale pink from exertion and possibly frustration. He’s dressed for a hunt, carrying a Japanese style longbow almost as tall as him and a quiver of elegant, black-feathered arrows. It’s fascinating to see how Airplane’s throwaway details got implemented into the world - he made a passing note that Mobei’s grandmother was an eastern wind demon, then he made one of Binghe’s wives a wind demoness based on a Japanese princess and bird motifs and poof! The world combined these two details into multicultural Linguang-jun. He has to bite his tongue before he could ask Linguang-jun if he had a katana somewhere.

Mobei is clearly not happy to see that his uncle is gearing up to leave.

“Good time for a hunt, uncle,” he sneers. Linguang-jun sneers right back.

“ I am going out to fetch our hunting expeditions back so we have meat to serve at the feast. Someone has to, unless Baobao would prefer to play pretend with snow and ice and berries!” They both flinch, which is interesting. Clearly that’s a reference to a formerly fond memory. When Linguang-jun continues he’s not meeting their eyes and looks just a little sheepish. “Go get your rags, nephew. My reputation rides on the success of this feast. I’m not going to sabotage it.”

It’s hard to tell what Mobei Xuebao is thinking, but his expression seems a lot less murderous than a minute ago. “Take Qinghua with you,” he says, ignoring completely the way his cultivator freezes up. “He has a sword. He can fly high and scout for you.”

What is this? It almost sounds like an olive branch! If only it wasn’t poor Airplane being handed over like a cheap token of reconciliation, it would be great .

Linguang-jun gives Shang Qinghua a hesitant look, but Mobei chose a good way to sell his pet cultivator: Linguang-jun might be part wind demon, but even he can’t fly very high. Give Qinghua one more of those pepper pills so he doesn’t freeze in the icy wasteland and he can track their hunters down in a snap!

Before he can mount an argument about the general fragility of humans and the dangers of the desert, he is grabbed by the arm and the next thing he knows, he’s being swept up by Linguang-jun’s black wind. Nothing can compete with Mobei’s portal powers in terms of speed, but this is not too shabby either, and unlike the shadow portals, being turned into wind doesn’t make him sick. Perhaps because he doesn’t currently have a stomach to feel sick.

While they dash through the desert, Linguang-jun quickly fills Qinghua in: they need to recall three hunting parties, all of them within a day’s travel by horse from the castle. “There are others out hunting, but they are too far to make it back for the feast. And after we are done, I’m going to leave you somewhere out of the way and catch a Diamond-Clawed Tundra Devil.”

“Ah. For the fight showcase?”

“En.”

“Isn’t it the king’s duty to procure whatever his son is to fight?” His question is met by minutes of sullen silence so he startles when Linguang-jun finally deigns to speak again.

“There’s a wolf-bear-hybrid prepared at the palace. Da-ge wanted to give it to one of his concubines as a pet, but the lady has much better taste than to take a mangy mutt like that.” Qingua can’t see Linguang-jun’s expression, but the derision is obvious in his voice. It’s unclear if it’s directed at the concubine or his brother. “It would be acceptable prey for a less skilled prince, but Xiao Bao deserves better.”

“Huh. You really adore your nephew, don’t you? I figured he was wrong about you.” If he lives to tell the tale, Shang Qinghua is going to blame his current immaterial state for the failure of his brain-mouth filter. Never startle the person carrying you at high speeds!

He’s not even surprised when he tumbles painfully onto the snow, Linguang-jun standing above him with a murderous expression, the bow raised as if he’s ready to beat the hapless cultivator with it. “Does he still go around telling everyone about- even his pet cultivator?!”

“No! No, my lord!” He suspects it’s only because Mobei San doesn’t consider Qinghua important enough to fill him in about his backstory, but it’s technically true. “Servants gossip! I heard it from the servants in Mobei San’s castle!”

Linguang-jun lowers the bow, but his face colors with either indignation or embarrassment. He’s more expressive than Mobei, but it’s still not easy to read him. “Good. Do not ever dare to gossip about this lord! Understood, you, you…” He looks at Shang Qinghua sitting in the snow like a plump, bruised peach, face almost disappearing into the soft pelt the kitchen aunties dressed him up in. “You hamster!”

Airplane can’t help himself: he laughs. Then, when the laughter finally feels like subsiding, he notices the baffled face Linguang-jun is making and laughs some more. “Forgive me, my lord. I am not laughing at you. Except. My name does happen to be Shang Cangshu.”

The absurdity of it all finally douses Linguang-jun’s rage and the demon huffs a laugh. “Of course it is. Should I get a bowl of sunflower seeds for you tomorrow, hamster-daozhang?”

“I prefer melon seeds! But worry not, my lord, I can bring my own.” It must be a good sign that Linguang-jun is teasing him. A little bit of harmless farce is always good in anxiety-inducing situations, and the demon appeared to be on the verge of exploding all day. “I do have to wonder, though… I heard that when that incident happened, Mobei San was around four? So you must have been a rather young child yourself.”

Linguang-jun gives a tense, awkward nod and a scene starts to unfold in Airplane’s mind. This is not something he had written, but it is something he could have, if he ever tried to put Mobei-jun in the limelight for a while. Emboldened, he continues: “Traveling at the speed of wind as you do must not leave a lot of room to change course if, say, a tear to the human realm suddenly opens up in front of you. It must have been a terrifying experience, for both of you. Easy to lose track of each other in an unfamiliar world, hostile territory or not.”

Linguang-jun turns his head away, clearly trying to school his expression into a blank mask, but he is too worn down and anxious to manage it. He looks disarmingly young like this; just a teen with too much work on his plate. “He refuses to so much as speak to me unless he has no other choice. What does it matter how it happened? I admitted to trying to kill him.”

Of course he did. For Mobei San to survive an assassination attempt - a smart one too, leaving him in the heart of a cultivator sect that has a longstanding feud with the Mobei clan - was a testament to his talent even at such a young age. If Linguang-jun admitted that it was an accident, it would have only painted him as incompetent, which was the fastest way to political suicide even before he could officially get into court. “Ah, but he lent you this servant, hasn’t he? I think my prince doesn’t hate you as much as he wants to.”

“Hah! That will not save my neck when my nephew becomes Mobei-jun and comes to eradicate the threats from the family.”

“No! He would not kill you, I’m certain of it.” As he wrote it, Mobei-jun at the time of his ascension was secure under Luo Binghe’s wing and didn’t bother to go after any of his relatives - unless they attacked first, that is. “Leave it to this Qinghua, I will smooth this misunderstanding over in no time!”

The look of doubt Linguang-jun gives him almost hurts. “Wait until after the feast before you try. I’m short enough on staff without you getting yourself killed.” The demon makes a sharp gesture with his hand and a burst of wind pushes Shang Qinghua to his feet. “Up you get, hamster-daozhang. We have work to do.”

It all falls in place like a well-oiled machine after that, even the hunt. Turns out that Diamond-Clawed Tundra Devils are really fascinated by flying cultivators for some reason. The beast stands on its hindlegs, reaching fruitlessly for the flying sword, and doesn’t even notice Linguang-jun sneaking up on it until he traps it in a qiankun box. They work well together, Shang Qinghua and Linguang-jun, and the demon stays cordial - almost friendly, even! - to his nephew’s pet cultivator in the following two days.

-----

“I’m so glad that it went well, my prince!” Qinghua sighs a few days after the feast. He’s trying to subtly rescue some of his paperwork from Mobei, who decided that he wants to have this conversation while sitting on his human’s desk. “I wish I could have been there to see, but my shizun would have noticed if I was missing any longer and, let’s be honest, the chances of someone mistaking me for a side-dish were much too high…”

Mobei hums something vaguely positive, then very indulgently lifts one of his hands so Qinghua can remove the papers from there. “Good work.”

“Thank you, my prince! But I really didn’t do much. Your uncle did most of the work.” By the end of the third day Linguang-jun was openly bemoaning that he wanted to go to bed and sleep for a century. Airplane can only hope he got some rest since.

Mobei Xuebao growls at him in warning, clearly not happy with the direction of the conversation, but Qinghua has dealt with so much shit in the last week that he’s too tired to be properly intimidated by empty threats. “No, really! I know he had a horse in this race, but he really wanted you to have a cool ‘welcome to demon court’ party. He caught the Tundra Devil for your fight and he certainly didn’t have to do that!”

“That was Taifeng-shushu?” There’s no better way to describe Mobei’s expression of surprise than ‘cute’. It’s a good reminder that despite his frosty disposition and already powerful physique, Mobei Xuebao is also still a teenager. (Airplane is not geeking out over learning Linguang-jun’s name, he is not . Mobei Taifeng was on his list of potential names when he brainstormed for Luo Binghe’s right hand man, before he even started writing - a character who eventually got split into Mobei-jun and the OG Shang Qinghua, because Tired™ second-in-commands who try to betray their employers so they could have one good day of rest please were more of a comedic relief trope and that didn’t fit the tone of the story.)

“Yes, my prince. This servant was there when Linguang-jun chose and captured the most impressive beast from the pack.” He was so picky about it too! He made Qinghua fly over the Tundra Devil pack five times before he identified the biggest one and by that time the beast noticed the flying cultivator. That’s how they found out about its fascination with the shiny spiritual sword.

Thinking about Linguang-jun reminds Qinghua of the hairstick he conveniently ‘forgot’ to return. He puts it in a plain box and pushes it to Mobei Xuebao. “My prince, I had no chance to return this to Linguang-jun, so you would do this servant a great favor if you passed it along.” Mobei makes a soft noise as he pockets the box, looking almost smug that Qinghua is, indeed, returning the token. His good mood makes the human a little reckless about how far he’s willing to push this matter. “My prince, I know you have no reason to trust this servant on matters of your family, but I have heard many rumors and hearsay while in the Northern Palace. I think there might be a misunderstanding between you and your uncle, so if you could talk to him openly when you return the hairstick-”

“Qinghua has not led me astray so far,” Mobei interrupts, his eyes narrowed. “This prince will talk to his uncle. But if Qinghua is mistaken…” He lets the sentence hang ominously in the air, but the sentiment is clear: if Shang Qinghua is wrong, then all of his credibility is ash.

“I understand, my prince.”

It's going to be fine. It has to be! Otherwise the System would have interfered, like it always does when he's about to alter the plot.

Right, System?

#svsss #linguang-jun #mobei-jun #shang qinghua #making up world building like master Airplane intended #tc writes #fun fact: I had to fight the autocorrect every step of the way bc it wanted to 'correct' hairstick into hair tick #not remotely the same thing #please don't #I already have a follow-up for this in the works btw #to the tune of #how do you fix a sick ice demon so your other ice demon doesn't freak out and break your neck? without your shixiongs finding out?#the answer is you don't #nothing gets past Mu-shixiong #so you just grin and bear it and sigh to the heavens when it turns into a wife plot #because of course it does #anyway please go check mysteryteacup out their writing and meta are chef kiss #thousand times better than anything I do honestly

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prinzgnomeovonchaos · 8 months

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I might be going a little ham (hehe, get it?) But anyways

When things go according to keikaku:

#ham qinghua #shang qinghua #svsss #scum villain #pixel art #pixel gif #my stuff #stay tuned for more hamster bullshit by yours truly

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shangsclaws · 7 months

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Hi🌚 May I ask for G and L from alphabet prompt with Shang Tsung?💚

Wish you a very pleasant *time of day* and thank you for your content ⊂(･ω･*⊂)

and ty anon for being so sweet :) went ham on this j for u

𝑺𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑮 𝑻𝑺𝑼𝑵𝑮

L - Lips: How do they kiss or show affection in general?

His kisses are often slow, wet, and painfully lustful, always leaving his lover in want. It doesn’t help that he’s a nasty tease about it, chuckling lowly afterwards to the tune of his self-content and amusement. And don’t be fooled; the thin trail of saliva that clings between your lips when you break for air is not unintentional. He’s got this lip locking activity down to a science.

But given his busy schedule, he isn’t always afforded the time to drive his lover crazy. If he should still kiss his partner then, a romantic peck on their knuckles will do. He enjoys bringing their hand to his face, eyes trained squarely on theirs as he does. This is the only time his lips will ever feel tender and sweet.

G - Green: What are they like when they're jealous?

Shang Tsung is so vain it practically offends him to think you could be eyeing anyone but him. Has his magical prowess not impressed you? And what of all the times he betrayed his desire for you? Was his blatant — but extremely tasteful — flirting somehow not enough? It feels impossible, because it is, and he’s quite nearly scandalized by his own feelings.

The sorcerer’s solution is to simply engulf you in his presence, make him the only man holding your every thought. He holds your gaze for longer, stands so tantalizingly close you can practically hear the screams of his experiments, and honeys you up with the slickest and sultriest of compliments. All this, and not once will he ever admit to his jealousy.

“Your eyes are for me only, my dear,” the snake cooed into your ear, the bitterness in his throat concealed by the chilling sensation of his breath at your neck. “What can they give to you that I could not?”

➴ 𝑴𝑨𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻

#this is me pspspsps ing the shang tsimps #mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #shang tsung #shang tsung x reader #imagines #x reader #alphabet request #headcanon #headcanons

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nibbelraz · 27 days

Note

sup homeslice i come to u with moshang related queries. Answer some, one, or none idk

Who is the one that kills/moves the (probs poisonous demon) spider out of the bathroom? Do either of them cower?

Do u think they would be capable of having a pet or even, like, a plant?

What are the modern slang terms that sqh lets slip and mbj ends up subconsciously adopting (imagine mbj remarking on sqh's lack of rizz. Utter destruction)

Oh also random cumplane thought: they both have intense meme withdrawal, which led them to hand drawing memes/reaction images on smth similar to note cards that they can whip out when needed. Cultivation world version of the meme folder in the phone of every chronically online millenial/gen z

Bro. Shen Yuan has totally made fandom-type memes about the harem webnov he TOTALLY HATES

Kk bye

YES YES GIVE ME ALL YOUR MOSHANG RELATED QUESTIONS AND CUMPLANE I really do love them both

1. Shang Qinghua is capable of moving the poisonous demon spider outside, However the second he actually sees is without warning he screams so loudly Mobei jun is in there in a second and attacking it on sight.

2. They would have many types of pets depending on the situation but I liked the idea of Shang Qinghua being in tune with the beasts of his world as the author so there's a ton of monsters that follow him and protect him and also get nice belly scratches

3. I believe he quotes old Vine memes daily, especially when he's stressed and hasn't slept in 3 days so it's just him with his king traveling and

"Road work ahead..." and an increasingly confused Mobei who sees nothing wrong with the path they're taking and is concerned

And yes they have so much meme withdrawal I BELEIVE IN MY HEART OF HEARTS SHEN YUAN CAN DRAW A BEAUTIFUL RENDER OF LUO BINGHE PRE TRANSMIGRATION ART STYLE and he shows this to Shang Qinghua with also a drawing of Hatsune Miku

Also Shang Qinghua drawing and sending letters to Shen Qingqiu that are just full of memes like he opens one after Shen Qingqiu talks for a solid chunk of the page about binghe and how absolutely perfect he is in every way with everyone being in love with him but then says not in a gay way and Qinghua replies back with

#svsss #shang qinghua #mobei jun #shen qingqiu #moshang #cumplane #theyre so funny #long post #also guys what type of plant would Shang Qinghua keep to help keep his sanity in his room #i was thinking like some energy drink plant thing but i want to hear what others would think he has #ask #nib text #hIIIII HARPPP HIIIII HIIII 😘

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moronkombat · 7 months

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Hello! I love your content so much! If I could request maybe mk 1 boys (mostly Liu Kang and Shang Tsung since they're my comfort characters ^^) having a s/o who has wide hips and thick thighs? Thank you so much! (It could be nsfw or sfw whatever you like!)

Liu Kang is attracted to your hips more than he is willing to admit. His eyes cannot help cut trace your curves and suddenly he feels a lot warmer

His cheeks are flushed and you'll call him out on it but he'll smile and bow his head respectfully and say "Just taking in your beauty, my love". He's taking in much more than that

Does he think about his head being buried in your thighs? To feel them press against him as his laps at at nectar? Yes, he thinks about it frequently

Now, Liu Kang isn't one for dancing but he dance with you because your hips grind against him quite a bit when the two of you dance. Do you know what he's up to? Absolutely. Do you care? Not at all

He does not hide his attraction to your hips and thighs. He praises them often and stares obviously with a smirk. What's he thinking? Don't worry, you won't have to wonder for much longer

Is he the type to give your ass a smack unexpectedly? Yes. Yes he is and he will do it when you least expect it. Why? He finds your surprised reaction quite entertaining

Shang Tsung enjoys running his fingers along your thighs. He'll draw patterns into your skin and hum a small tune while he does

Wants you to sit on his lap because he loves the feeling of you. Don't be worried to squish him, he'd definitely like that too

#mortal kombat #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat fanworks #mortal kombat headcanons #mk1 #mortal kombat x reader #shang tsung x reader #shang tsung #liu kang x reader #liu kang #liu kang mk1

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verycharismaticdragon · 1 year

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Luo Binghe smiled again, but this one was just plain deranged:

“Well? Or am I wrong again?”

Was the light in here weird or were Bing-ge’s eyes getting redder?.. They were! They were!

“Tell me, Shang Qinghua, do this lord’s musings hold some merit?”

Chapter 13 of A Transmigrator and a Time Traveler is here, and Binghe broke through my artblock 🙏 Tune in for: author-god faced with his glorious(terrifying) creation!

UPD: oh whoops didnt realize this excerpt might be a little misleading: this is very much Bing-mei / SVSSS Luo Binghe, Shang Qinghua just calls him Bing-ge because he does not have the need to mentally wifeguy him unlike some people didn't fully separate him from the OG in his mind (at this point in the story, as it's the first time he encountered this version of Binghe).

#luo binghe #shang qinghua #svsss #charismaticdragonarts #charismaticdragonwrites #scum villain's self-saving system #mxtx #danmei novels #a transmigrator and a time traveler

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iliketangerines · 1 month

Note

okay so imagine…

lord raiden’s daughter in a secret relationship with Mk11 Shang Tsung… and it only gets found out cuz she’s pregnant

secrets and the moon

a/n: old man shang tsung is also pretty good, definitely ooc bc we only know him in the context of power-hungry, but idk i want soft shang tsung

pairing: shang tsung x afab!reader

warnings: none :)

you sit on your balcony, staring into the crescent moon as you hum along to the tune of the crickets singing outside

you trace the edges of the wooden balcony, sighing as you watch the world pass by you in a blur

there’s no much to do about the academy, at least not anymore, not with having lived at the academy for centuries now

and not with the restrictions your dad puts on you

you still remember meeting him, your mother had kept you hidden away from the world and society, telling you that you would not be accepted

you never really understood why until you snuck out one night and traveled to the nearby village, where the kids threw rocks at you, calling your eyes ghostly

then your mother had fallen ill shortly after, and she brought you to a high mountain to meet your father, Lord Raiden, who had the same ghostly eyes that you did

he wasn’t sure what to do with you, but he saw the state of your mother and the fearful expression on your face as your mother hacked up blood and took you both in

he made sure your mother was treated like a goddess, with food, silken sheets, maids on hand and foot until she passed away shortly after

your father did try his best to raise you, but his experience with rearing the existence of humanity didn’t compare with trying to deal with an unruly teenager whose rebellious stage lasted for a few decades

you already explored every nook and cranny of this palace and trained in every martial arts your father could think to train you in

and yet, every so often, you would cough up blood and your father would sequester you to your room, shielding you from the cruelty of the world

you had inherited whatever illness your mother had, but your godly status allowed you to survive through the pain but didn’t dampen any of it

it was an unfortunate situation

you sigh and sit up on the edge of the railing, swinging your legs over the open air as you wait for your paramour to show up

you knew it wasn’t a good idea, a terrible idea even, but he was the only thing that gave you a semblance of excitement in this dreadful place

you hear a rustle in the bush below, and you peer down and find Shang Tsung staring up at you, waving with that signature smirk on his face

you look behind you, making sure your door was locked and the pillows were shoved into the sheets, before you hop down the balcony and land with a soft thud

he smiles at you, and you draw him in for a hug, letting yourself sink into the feeling of familiarity and warmth as he wraps his arms around you and buries his face into your neck

you pull away with a wide smile and drag him off to explore the night world, the only time you really had any freedom

you tell him about your uneventful day, all the ridiculous things you tried to keep yourself entertained, and Shang Tsung hums along, staring at you underneath the moon

once you quiet down and flop down onto the field, surrounded by flowers, Shang Tsung sits next to you and tells you about his day

you nod along as he tells you about his stories, and you tuck a piece of hair behind his ear when he becomes too enraptured with his own story

he glances at you, eyes soft and warm as he brings you into his lap, cupping the back of your neck to kiss you sweetly

you sigh into the kiss, melting into his kiss as his hands hold onto the small of your back, keeping you secure against him

one of his hands travel up to cradle the back of your head, and your hand slides up to cup Shang Tsung’s face

he kisses you desperately as always, as if scared you’ll be ripped apart from him, and he never wants to let you go

never in his centuries of living had he ever been so enraptured by anything, even in his chase for evermore souls to consolidate his power

you were…so far apart and so close to everything he chased after, and he found himself falling for you so much faster than he thought he ever could

your were strong but still soft, untouched by the spoils and horrors of war and ever-desperate grabs for power, so different from his entire life of struggle

it’s something he craves, something he hungers over and would slave over if he could just a bit of your sweetness all to himself

you pull back and lay your head into his chest as he pets your hair, combing through the strands with his fingers as he tells you about the stars and the moon

he often tells you your eyes remind him of the moon, glowing bright and lighting the way for those lost in the night

on those nights when he visits you when you’re bedridden, they glow ever so softer, weaker, and it scares him that you would become mortal

that he would outlive you and have nothing but the wisps of your memory as you fade from time and he lives on, alone

but you’re here, alive and well and still godly

you two fall asleep in the field of flowers, surrounded by the warmth of the night and the embrace of sweetness

you wake up a the sunlight hits you, and Shang Tsung presses a kiss to your forehead before you two get up and walk back to the base

you don’t feel so right, hadn’t been feeling quite right for the past few weeks, but you had figured it was just your sickness flaring up

but this was different, you stop as you feel your stomach lurch, and you fall down to your knees as you throw up acid

Shang Tsung kneels down, pulling your hair to the side as you heave and gasp and cry as your stomach empties itself

you feel faint, light-headed and almost fall down to the side if it weren’t for Shang Tsung holding you up

you tell him you’re fine, just another bout, but you throw up again, dry-heaving as you struggle to breathe

Shang Tsung feels fear pool in the bottom of his stomach, feels his hands grow cold and clammy as you continue to struggle to breathe

he picks you up the second you’re done, hurrying through the woods and making sure none of the branches hit you as he tries to make his way back to the base as fast as possible

you protest, weakly hitting his chest as your face pales, telling him that your father cannot find out about you two

Shang Tsung silences you, telling you that your health comes first, that he will deal with the wrath of your father if need be

he shows up at the entrance of the academy and barges in through the doors, and the monks immediately take up a defensive stance, glaring at the sight of you sickly and weak in his arms

Raiden bursts through the lightning and nearly goes to kill Shang Tsung until he sees you in his arms

immediately, his face drops, and his entire posture tenses as he roars at Shang Tsung to return you, to give back his child

Shang Tsung ignores his threats and growls of warning, and he tells you you’ve fallen ill, that you keep throwing up and it isn’t your usual bouts of sickness

Raiden raises his eyes in surprise when Shang Tsung comes forward and lays you gently on the ground, tucking your hair behind your ears

you hold onto his hand stubbornly, refusing to let go and telling him he has to come with you, to be with you, please, you need him right now

Shang Tsung looks up to Raiden, and your father tsks but tells the monks to lower their weapon and their guard and has a healer come and check you out

Shang Tsung carries you to the medicine ward, and he’s there as the healer assesses you and asks you the questions you’ve become used to

your father stands off to the side, jaw clenched and fists crackling with electricity, but Shang Tsung does nothing, just holds your hand as the healer fusses over you

they press down on your stomach, check your temperature, do a few spiritual tests on you before they hum and finger the beads in their hands

they tell you you’re pregnant, about a few months in, and your jaw drops open

you can hear the crackles of electricity in the room, and you glance over to your father, looking like he’s about to have a heart attack and also kill Shang Tsung at the same time

you look to Shang Tsung, and he’s staring down at your stomach in wonder, one hand going down to caress your stomach gently, eyes wide and filled with stars

he asks in a quiet voice that he’s going to be a father? and the healer nods at him, leaving the room to give your family some privacy

you father walks over to you, pushing away Shang Tsung, spewing obscenities at him as electricity forms in his hands, ready to kill Shang Tsung right here and now

you grab onto your father’s arms and tell him to back up, that Shang Tsung is the father to your child and you will not have your child not have both parents like you

the comment seems to make your father soften, calm down a bit as he remembers how you, his own blood and family, were scared of him because he had never been present in your life

he calms down and exits the room, needing to take a few deep breaths and calm down before he could proceed, and it leaves you and Shang Tsung alone

Shang Tsung stares at you in wonder, caressing your stomach as the future fills his head

never had he thought he would have a family, a child to care for, someone to raise and and to love

he looks up at you and kisses you, hoping that the action is enough to tell you about how much he loves you, how much he appreciates you, that he would do anything for you

you seem to understand what he’s trying to convey, and you bring him in even closer as you kiss

it might not have been conventional, but you were in love with Shang Tsung, tied to him heart and soul, and he was just the same, his soul yours to own

#tangerine writes #tangerine answers #mortal kombat #mk #mortal kombat 11 #mk11 #mortal kombat fluff #mortal kombat x reader #mk x reader #mk x you #mk x y/n #shang tsung #shang tsung mk11 #mk11 shang tsung #shang tsung x reader #shang tsung x you #shang tsung x y/n

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starfinss · 1 year

Note

Can you please do flirting HCs for Sukuna, Gojo, Nanami, Megumi? (I couldn’t find your rules so I’m not sure if you take more than one character per requests so just in case you do, I’ll restrict this to just Gojo).

Hi! Yes, I take more than one character, no worries. Also, my rules are pretty much only visible from the desktop view of my blog, so if you’re a mobile user, that’s probably why. No harm, no foul. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ They’re a selectable link in the drop down below my blog info, in the same section as my masterlist. Also, I’m adding Yuuji because I love him, hope you don’t mind! I love JJK, I wanna write more for it. I have a Megumi fic in the works, so stay tuned for that, if I can kick this horrible writer’s block. But it’s two in the morning and I can’t sleep, so here we are.

Aaaanyway.

There probably won’t be any blurbs, since these prompts alone could generate entire oneshots, I’m sorry! If you like any of these headcanons, though, I’d be happy to write some of those one shots for you.

I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO GODDAMN LONG.

This also turned more into “how to pursue a crush” with Nanami, but I digress.

— 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘠𝘶𝘶𝘫𝘪, 𝘔𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘮𝘪, 𝘕𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘪, 𝘎𝘰𝘫��, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘚𝘶𝘬𝘶𝘯𝘢 𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘳𝘵.

— 𝘐𝘵𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘪 𝘠𝘶𝘶𝘫𝘪

— Good lord.

— Yuuji is a very genuine person who often just says how he feels, so he has trouble being subtle, especially around someone he has strong feelings for.

— If he’s into someone, he’d rather they know how much he cares instead of beating around the bush, but he does try.

— Keyword try.

— Sometimes he says things that are just way too forward, royally embarrassing himself.

— Or, he overthinks it and just stands there staring at you.

— Or he just says something that doesn’t make any sense.

— Most of the time, when he’s smooth, it’s completely on accident.

— He’ll also give you small gifts. You offhandedly mention that you saw a toy you liked as a prize at the arcade? He’ll have it to you by the end of the day. You seem sad? He’ll bring you your favorite candy.

— He’ll also just offhandedly mention that he thinks you look nice today.

— He might compare you to Jennifer Lawrence.

— Mostly, though, if you notice an uptick of compliments, Yuuji is probably flirting with you. He likes making you smile, and you’re gorgeous, so he has to make sure you know that and that he appreciates it.

— It might take some time for him to work up the courage to actually ask you out, but it’ll probably involve flowers.

“Yuuji, have you been flirting with me?”

“Oh, you finally noticed. Any guy would, with how pretty you are.”

— You know he states it like an absolute fact, sunshine smile firmly in place.

— 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰𝘶 𝘔𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘮𝘪

— Megumi is not good at flirting.

— He’s generally a pretty stoic person, and isn’t great at expressing outward emotion, so if he’s flirting, it’s going to be fumbling and awkward.

— Or he just straight up doesn’t. Not in the traditional sense, that is.

— Megumi’s version of flirting is compliments. Not even on your appearance, though that might happen. He might compliment you on your cursed technique, or the way you handle your weapon.

— It’s like how in Mulan, Li Shang says “ya fight good.”

— That’s Megumi.

— You also might catch him staring, only to quickly look away when you see him, the tips of his ears bright red.

— There also might be the occasional “your hair looks nice like that,” or “you should wear that color more often.”

— You’ll think you misheard him, and if you ask him to repeat himself, he will, genuinely thinking you didn’t hear him. He’s a bit dense when it comes to romantic feelings.

— Will also occasionally say something smooth as fuck.

— Give him time, but he’ll ask you out eventually. Knowing Megumi, it’ll be pretty casual, like, after you get back from a mission he just approaches you and straight up asks you to dinner.

— If you flirt with him, he will turn scarlet red. It’s adorable.

— 𝘎𝘰𝘫𝘰 𝘚𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘶

— If Gojo is flirting with you, you will know.

— This man is anything but subtle. He’s the guy who says shit like “that’s a nice dress, it would look even better on my floor.”

— He’s that mf.

— He knows just what words to say in order to make you putty in his hands. Or frustrate you to the point of tears. It depends on if you also have feelings for him.

— He also cares deeply for you, the feelings he has are disarming, so he hides behind his usual playful demeanor, but far flirtier.

— If you’re in danger, though, he will show everyone why he’s called the Strongest Jujutsu Sorcerer.

— Will point blank ask you on dates, and will not be dissuaded.

— Brings you flowers, candy, stuffed animals, jewelry.

— He’s peacocking, showing you everything he’s got. It’s a little overwhelming.

— Compliments you every chance he gets, telling you how much he loves that color on you, or how pretty you look when your hair is done up that way, or how amazing your eyes look with that new eyeshadow.

— With the way he treats you, people think you’re already dating.

— Cooing and compliments and gifts and so many flirty comments. He’s unrelenting.

— Literally all the compliments and pet names under the sun.

— Baby, honey, sweetie, my love, all of it.

— You know he treats you like a queen, though. Never forget it.

— 𝘙𝘺𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘚𝘶𝘬𝘶𝘯𝘢

— I’m gonna be real with you, I don’t think Sukuna knows how to flirt.

— He’s not really the type of guy who would try and woo a girl, more someone who takes what he wants when he wants it.

— The King of Curses doesn’t flirt. He takes.

— He isn’t really a flowers and chocolate kind of guy.

— His way of “flirting” is just suddenly referring to you as his. He sees something, he wants it, he takes it.

— That’s how he does things. If you don’t like it, that isn’t his problem.

— But he’d also slaughter anyone who crosses you.

— And straight up rob a store if you mentioned you wanted something.

— Sukuna, no.

— Sukuna, yes.

— He isn’t really the cutesy type, but he is the chaotic type.

— Might start calling you “pet” or “doll” or something like that.

— Incredibly possessive. Sukuna doesn’t like when people touch his things. If someone steps a toe out of line around you, it’s nearly impossible for you to convince him not to maim or otherwise kill whoever wronged you.

— I just can’t really imagine him as being flirty. He takes what he wants.

— 𝘕𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘪 𝘒𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘰

— Nanami is more of a to-the-point kind of guy.

— If he has interest in you, he’s going to be pretty blunt.

— I think that when he first started to grow fond of you, he tried to ignore it until his feelings were too strong to put off anymore. Work is his first priority, and anything that gets in the way of that is a bit of a nuisance.

— Buuuut he can put up with a few nuisances.

— He’d probably start his courtship with just bringing you coffee every day all of a sudden. Maybe even a rose or two. He isn’t being subtle because Nanami isn’t a subtle man.

— It’ll be obvious what he’s doing, and that’s how he likes it.

— He won’t even deny the fact that he’s flirting if you point blank ask him.

— He might ask you out to coffee, and try his best to woo you. Nanami isn’t great at being charming, so he’s just going to try and be himself, because that’s what you’re supposed to do when you like someone, right?

— He flirts with compliments and gifts, and they’re the type that matter. They’re personal and meaningful, and he pays close attention to what he thinks you’ll like to hear and receive.

— The last thing he wants is to make you uncomfortable with his advances. Flirting is supposed to make the other person want to go out with you, not make them unhappy. That’s just common sense, right? So if you tell him to stop, he will without question.

— He’s a little awkward if you flirt back in a normal person way instead of a Nanami way. He might play dumb or just clear his throat and change the subject.

— Nobody says he doesn’t enjoy it, though. He’ll be thinking about that for the rest of the day.

— When Nanami cares for someone in a romantic sense, he’ll do his best to let them know in his own sort of way.

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starry-stan-blog · 9 months

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mxtx couples singing:

wangxian: both of them have an innate talent for singing. lan wangji has a deep, rich tone to his voice whereas wei wuxian is a tenor. totally sweep the floor at karaoke. wwx takes every opportunity to sing (shout) love songs at his husband. lwj will sing for wwx when he can’t sleep or if he’s sad.

bingqiu: binghe likes to hum occasionally. he doesn’t sing often, but he can hold a tune. shen qingqiu is completely tone deaf and has barely any rhythm to speak of. binghe thinks it’s the cutest thing ever and begs his shizun to sing on the regular.

moshang: shang qinghua previously thought that mobei jun never sang, but was awake one time mbj thought he was asleep and caught him singing an ancient demon lullaby. sqh himself can’t sing for shit but enjoys crooning cringey songs at his king.

hualian: as a prince, xie lian was given singing lessons. he has a smooth, warm voice and is musically gifted. hua cheng dislikes doing anything less than perfectly in front of his husband but will sing if xl requests him to. contrary to his own personal belief, his singing voice is rather good. xl happily gatekeeps this, though.

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soul-nymph · 5 months

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this mod is a W

#tried enhancing the quality #still kinda crunchy #on my demon hours rn #mortal kombat #shang tsung #mk #mortal kombat 1 #alicstyr is simping for shang again #stay tuned for more

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eliounora · 8 months

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I'm not a big disney fan outside of childhood nostalgia but every time I see one of those prince rankings I'm like ok but I could rank them better. and I happened to be bored so I did

some mentions I have to make so people don't wonder:

flynn rider: basic choice. scientifically engineered to be a hot man. no bite or edge to him. if you look at concept art he was supposed to be a big guy but they changed him to this market researched douche with a soul patch. absolute travesty

aladdin: he’s cute and good-hearted, lies to get his way but learns to be true to himself. lessons we all learn in life. next

jim: has the best song. i too want the moment to be real

phoebus: mmm. ehh

prince charming: literally what it says on the tin. storybook prince. not a man, a plot device

cinderella's prince: has a thing for feet. nice. funny in the sequels but a cardboard box is more interesting than his design

and now the top 10:

10. hercules: hunky demigod himbo. true hero is tested by the strength of his heart. the lesson all gym bros need to learn.

9. quasimodo: has heart and character, and sang “out there” like an angel.

8. prince eric: spends all his days with his dog and playing the recorder. who let him out of containment. too nervous to kiss a girl he likes even though she is sending obvious signals. he wants to get the know her better. king

7. tarzan: loin-clothed hunk with the facial structure of a statue. roams the jungle to the tunes of phil collins. loves his mom without being weird about it. prime man

6. the beast: eye and soul candy for the monsterfuckers. hot take but he wasn’t that bad as a human. he was hot. especially when you consider that his backstory included him being so snobby and vain that he was turned into the beast. like isn't that the consequences of your actions pretty boy. love to see it

5. milo: linguist. has round glasses and that 90s curtain haircut. all features that can indicate sleeziness but he is a good guy, meaning sometimes a man with round glasses and 90s curtain haircut can be trusted. a lanky charming nerd and therefore my exact type unfortunately

4. kenai: excellent protagonist. so deep in the throes of toxic masculinity he gets turned into a bear. isn't that the consequences of your actions pretty boy

3. shang li: bisexual king. nothing more to add.

2. prince naveen: now I may come from a protestant culture but a lazy jackass learning the value of hard work and love is what it’s all about. a dish. gets turned into a frog, isn't that the consequences of your actions pretty bo-

1. robin hood: “he's a fox hahah furry" FUCK YOU. HE IS THE FINEST MAN OUT THERE. HE HANGS OUT WITH HIS BEST FRIEND IN THE WOODS. HE HAS BEEN TRUE TO HIS SWEETHEART SINCE CHILDHOOD. he thinks he’s not good enough for her, but in a chivalrous way instead of pathetic. steals from the rich and gives to the poor. great with kids. they don’t make men like this anymore, and with that I mean men of integrity. “MARIAN MY DARLING I LOVE YOU MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF.” (CRIES)(THROUGH TEARS) LOVE IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY YESTERDAY YOU WERE JUST A CHILD AT PLAY

#nor's rambles #does not include commentary on why disney turns all their poc protagonists into animals. saving that for some other time #i love to see a man learn a lesson

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wenella · 5 months

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Zhu Yilong: The Longest Journey 朱一龙：最漫长的路

EN translation of Zhu Yilong's Shang Cheng Shi Dec 2023 Issue Feature Interview by wenella

The sun slowly sets and the evening glow over the Gobi Desert constantly changes colours from blue, purple, pink to yellow. The temperature drops gradually. The dim light casts silhouettes and Zhu Yilong, in the distance, is leading a camel across the undulating sand dunes. In recent years, Zhu Yilong has often visited the desert as part of his travels. But this time, he is here at sunset.

The boundless desert sparks contemplation about the fleeting years and the unpredictability of life. The vastness is rather overwhelming for urbanites, but the camel train walking alongside Zhu Yilong disrupts this immense sense of solitude. Soon, Zhu Yilong gains the trust of one of the camels. "We were strangers at first, but gradually became close; it’s just like making a new friend," he says. The camel lets down its guard after 15 minutes; it looks calm as Zhu Yilong leans against it. "I could feel that the camel is relaxed when I touched it," he remarks after returning with the camel caravan. Then, he leads the camel into the desert once again towards the focal point of the shoot. “I’m off!” he bids farewell to the staff before embarking on this brief "journey" with his new friend.

Earlier in the day, Zhu Yilong listened to musicians perform the ancient Chinese melody "Su Wu Mu Yang" on the xun (a Chinese wind instrument) in the Shikouzi Canyon. This melancholic melody, with its simple tune, sounds like a lament that is characterized by the deep, dignified, and steady tones of the xun. The rocky and deep canyon is only half a meter wide at its narrowest point and enhances the poignant and majestic atmosphere—both in the music and in the hearts of those present. Captivated by the music, Zhu Yilong imagined the tragic life of Su Wu.

Noticing that Zhu Yilong was piqued by the music, the musician handed him a xun. Zhu Yilong, who can play the hulusi (a gourd flute), attempted to play the xun using the hulusi technique but couldn't produce any sound. The teacher offered him guidance and said, "Cover all the holes, place it (the blowhole) beneath your lips, don't use force, blow gently." Using the new approach, Zhu Yilong’s xun finally made a sound, and a new lament echoed through the narrow canyon.

We initially planned for Zhu Yilong to do a photoshoot with the sheepskin raft by the shore. However, driven by his curiosity about the life wisdom of ancients and his desire to seize the rare opportunity to try the sheepskin raft, Zhu Yilong jumped onto the raft voluntarily. As the raft drifted away from the shore, Zhu Yilong waved to everyone and once again, cheerfully said, “I'm off!'"

The crew is used to his uncontrollable impulse for fun. "I often have the urge to travel or try something fun.” However, Zhu Yilong hasn't had time to travel recently. Whenever he does, it’s usually for work. "It's a business trip." He recalls his recent trip to Africa with WWF to promote wildlife conservation efforts. He got up close to lions, leopards, and elephants in the Maasai Mara National Park. In a completely natural environment, mankind is in awe of everything.

Zhu Yilong chooses his travel destinations based on his mood. "If I feel like visiting a lively place, I'll pick a city to try different cuisines and observe different people. If I want to go somewhere quiet, I'll head to the mountains or the seaside. My decision is based on my mood at that moment."

It is rare for Zhu Yilong to travel for leisure these days. Often, he uses his travel to “experience life.”

Experiencing life is mandatory for actors. Zhu Yilong is adept at observation and at bridging the gap with strangers. He believes that observation begins by getting close to the other person. When portraying Mo Sanmei, he visited a funeral parlour to experience life. To play the role of Ma Zhe well, he spent 1.5 months experiencing life in a police station. His observations shaped his characters. Zhu Yilong formed his first impression of Mo Sanmei when he caught a glimpse of a guy in a funeral parlour parking lot, who sported a crew cut and was leaning on the steering wheel, listening to pop songs, smoking, and selling funeral supplies. Likewise, a photo of a serious-looking young Yu Hua helped him to shape Ma Zhe. Through refining the abstract, he combines different individuals to form one person.

When Zhu Yilong is filming, he makes it a habit to immerse himself entirely in his character. He will not resist any emotion or mental state. Perhaps by incorporating all the anger, ferocity and struggles into his characters, the Zhu Yilong who we see in real life always appears calm, gentle, and humble. "Think about it, there are so many 'scary' scenes in the drama. One might never encounter such situations in their entire life." He will fully commit himself to his character till the film wraps, and then he will separate himself from his character. "I always require myself to quickly separate from my character once I wrap. I want to let my character remain in that period and in those visual images." He separates himself from his character by changing his appearance. "It is a psychological reminder. Once you are removed from a certain environment and your appearance changes, you will separate yourself from the character naturally."

When he was younger and had fewer life experiences, Zhu Yilong would actively observe people to gain insights quickly even when he was relaxing. Now, he has started to restrain this innate urge to observe the world and instead, focuses more on the present moment, his immediate surroundings, and his feelings. "I am less purposeful now. I will not be in a hurry to conduct observations and apply what I see in my role. Instead, I try to find ways to integrate myself into the environment, to relax, and to feel the difference. I realised that the results are more specific and vivid this way. I no longer try to do this deliberately in my life or during my travels; I just want to try my best to experience and feel."

When one is less observant of the external world, they will become more aware of their inner self. People are always busy, and it is actually challenging for one to delve into their fleeting thoughts. Now, Zhu Yilong will deliberately pause and organize the thoughts in his mind sometimes. "These things can actually be applied to the characters," he says.

The self is the first and most profound subject for understanding the world. A person can only have a deeper understanding of others and the world if he understands himself well. Human nature is profound, and the self is ever-changing, complex, and elusive; this path of self-exploration is the longest journey.

In recent years, Zhu Yilong has become more acutely aware of the passage of time. On the day of our photoshoot, he said that he wished time could linger.

As a student, he felt that time was passing too slowly and eagerly awaited the school bell to ring every day. However, once he started to work—a job that he loved fortunately—every day seemed to pass too quickly. A film starts and wraps; an actor can finish 1 or 2 projects in a year. Belonging to a profession that quantifies time and results might intensify his anxiety. However, it may not be necessary to overcome this anxiety as his curiousity that has driven him has never diminished. Zhu Yilong remains curious about the world. He still yearns to explore and embark on adventures. "It won’t change in the next ten, twenty, thirty years," Zhu Yilong knows that this belief will stay with him.

#zhu yilong #zhuyilong #朱一龙 #朱一龍 #wenella

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