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#this was my FIRST draft!!
aballadforbarbatos · 9 months
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Obey Me! Crushes on Social Media
includes the dateables as well as the brothers, so i'm adding a cut because it feels pretty long. the "social media" in question is just dewitter (twitter) and devilgram (instagram) because that's the socials i know the most about using :)
i was tempted to come up with some demon version of linkedin for lucifer though LOL
does lucifer own social media? devilgram doesn’t count, he can’t anonymously post about his inner feelings there. vague tweets (deweets?) about you. so vague that he’ll show you later and you’ll be like “what the hell this sounds more like one of your brothers than me. nice hair today? are you talking about asmo?”
mammon WISHES he could relate. mammon tweets about you every five seconds that’s how bad he is over you. lives in the same house as you and couldn’t send you a single friend request on anything, OR follow you first
leviathan is JUST as bad as mammon, please do not point it out to him. has no friends but if they ever stumbled across his dewitter account they’d KNOW who it is. it’s not fair that mammon can spend so much time with you and it’s not suspicious. you looked so pretty today. and yesterday. and you will forever and ever and he knows this because it’s you.
satan takes a picture of you and writes a cute little book quote that he thinks describes you perfectly. he shows you the post, all ready to hit send- you laugh and hit the button for him. it becomes kind of a joke between you, except that he’s dead serious, scouring through books for the perfect line for his perfect person. all his followers think he’s in a relationship with you, and he’s not about to say otherwise.
asmodeus has his personal devilgram account, but he definitely has a second account dedicated to fashion. you’re forced to model more and more outfits so that he can post them. definitely puts things like “look at MY pretty model” in the captions. he already has enough problems with his brothers, he doesn’t need other demons snooping around you too.
beelzebub doesn’t mess around. he doesn’t outright tell you either though- for obvious reasons. for every post you make he’s the first like and the first comment- although it’s typically riddled with typos since he’s normally eating when you post. he doesn’t really pay attention to his own social media accounts, but he never ever fails to pay you a compliment or well wish, even when he’s in the middle of something important. if only you took it as something beyond being a good friend.
belphegor- social media who? he HAS it, technically. it’s drier than australia and there are definitely cobwebs on his page, visible or not. the last post was also his first post: "..." if he ever makes a second post, it'll be when he wakes up and can't get back to sleep. upon posting “mc.” he finds he’s already drifting off, back to the sweet embrace of dreams and rest.
barbatos tweets “going through it” and then nothing else when he has a crush on you. rts it every once in a while when the pining gets particularly bad. once he typed out “GOING THRU IT” but never sent it. tweets “got through it” when the crush leaves him (never) or you pick him.
diavolo starts a “fan-page” of you. takes at least ten pictures of you every time you’re together and says that it’s for his fan-page on devilgram. the first time you heard this you were like “weird, but definitely not the weirdest thing that’s happened to me here! you do you boo <3”. fan-page of you- for who? nobody but him.
simeon is AWFUL with technology. it truly is a miracle that he manages to use devilgram. nonetheless, he does his best, and is always taking photos and posting them, typically with the caption "i thought you might like this :) @/mc". you respond eagerly, and at least one demon tries to remind you two that this can be a conversation in dms. neither of you pay attention to this reminder, and simeon invites you to the place that he took the picture. he later posts a picture of you lightly kissing his cheek. the demons become on very high alert after that.
solomon isn't subtle. "me, myself and mine" is the caption when he posts a picture of you and him together, and he tags every single demon brother and the royals and simeon, just for good measure. you laugh it off and comment "mine :)" underneath it. solomon gets a target on his back for an entire week before you clarify it was just a joke. this cycle repeats every couple of months as he tries to get more and more flirty comments out of you- when you post a picture of you kissing him with the caption "now shut up", he does. it's almost like an act of god.
bonus: LUKE only really has devilgram. he was worried about an "age limit" and it took diavolo, simeon, and barbatos to reassure him. lucifer tried to help but it just made everything worse. you're the first comment on all of his devilgram posts. any time you're not, you're apologising profusely, and he says it's all the demon brothers' fault, and you say yes it's all the demon brothers' fault. and then you spend the entire afternoon at purgatory hall. solomon takes great joy in rubbing this in their faces.
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ladybeug · 5 months
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So a while ago I was talking to @anna-scribbles and @marimbles about adrien and gender (as you do), and as a part of that conversation we said... hey do you remember that jenna marbles video where she put rhinestones all over her face?
and then, tangentially... do you remember that one clown makeup vine?
hold on i'm going somewhere with this:
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We got to where I was going. but i'm still driving:
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janearts · 6 months
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I am not at all a medical professional, so please excuse any inaccuracies. In any case, Roisia would 100% be trying to puzzle out the logistics of a vampire bite.
[Logistics 1] [Logistics 2] (Her conclusion? She trusts her needle more.)
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ash-and-starlight · 6 months
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one day, in a thousand years
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mayhemspreadingguy · 2 months
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Lost boys
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notedchampagne · 5 months
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love is a pursuit
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olympain · 5 months
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egg04 · 11 months
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So a the small child version of your alternate universe self suddenly shows up in your hands (。· v ·。) ? What shall you do?
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lilybug-02 · 5 months
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Wow. That could not have turned out worse.
Part 23 || First || Previous || Next
--Full Series--
This comic will be on Holiday Hiatus this December and January! While on a cliffhanger? What a scam! >:/
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crunchchute · 23 days
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noah-price · 5 months
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young neil icons because he's so cute and i'm insane
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spooksier · 2 months
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this is the gayest scene in tma and i meant that in the strictest definition possible. this is just two gay guys queening out at each other, 10/10 no notes
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grapefruit185 · 2 years
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gman leave the poor man ALONE!!!!!!!!
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even-disco-baby · 1 year
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THOUGHT GAINED: INFERNAL ENGINES
PROBLEM
The world is ending. You know it, your neighbor knows it, the dealer knows it, the jailer knows it, the king and all his men know it. All one has to do is look around to see it— the future is curdling into something pale and incorporeal. The infernal machine that is this stupid world is going to blow, sooner rather than later. So what are you doing? Why are you still here? Why is anyone still here?
SOLUTION
You are doing the only thing worth doing. You are living. *Why,* you ask? Try and remember now. Remember your mother’s hand on your shoulder. Remember the taste of a fresh catch. Remember the times when you were kind to the dogs in the valley and they did not bare their teeth. Remember the weight of a child on your shoulders. Remember the stars throwing their light against the wall of sodium and smog. Remember singing until your throat was raw. Remember crying just as loudly and publicly, and the gentleness with which someone opened your curled fist and pressed a handkerchief into your palm. Crying, laughing, running, eating, screaming, haunting, loving, fighting, fighting, fighting. The fight fuels you, and you fuel the fight. You run yourself ragged just for a chance to keep running. You never stop. You cannot stop. The world depends on it. *You* are the infernal engine. You are the world. And, simply put: you want to live.
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shorthaltsjester · 9 months
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Vex'ahlia de Rolo || On Goodness, Self, and Longing
“Kith & Kin” - Marieke Nijkamp // “con la frente marchita” - Dante Émile // “Campaign 1, Episode 63: The Echo Tree” - Matthew Mercer // “White Oleander” - Janet Fitch // “Campaign 1, Episode 64:  The Frigid Doom” - Liam O’Brien & Taliesin Jaffe // “Pig” - Hieu Minh Nguyen // “Campaign 1, Episode 63: The Echo Tree” - Laura Bailey & Liam O’Brien // “Recollections of my Nonexistence” - Rebecca Solnit // “The Archer” - Taylor Swift // “Campaign 1, Episode 65: The Streets of Ank’Harel” - Laura Bailey & Liam O’Brien // “So We Must Meet Apart” - Jennifer S. Cheng // “Campaign 1, Episode 72: The Elephant in the Room” - Laura Bailey & Liam O’Brien // “Shocker” - Taylor Steele // “Campaign 1, Episode 104: Elysium” - Sam Riegel // “Tell the Wolves I’m Home” - Carol Rifka Brunt // “4-Sided Dive Episode 9: That’s Just Right” - Laura Bailey and Taliesin Jaffe // “Infinite Jest” - David Foster Wallace
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crybaby-bkg · 8 days
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“I thought I was supposed to be the one worshipping you today,” you say in a gasp, eyes fluttering close as you grip the sink counter tight in front of you. Bakugou only huffs a little laugh, his nails digging into the fat of your ass before he taps his palm against the flesh hard, eliciting a little hiccup from you.
“‘S my birthday, so what I say goes.” he tells you muffled, the vibration of his words making your knees quake. he has to hold you up, but he doesn’t care, finds the weight of you pressing back into him something he can get drunk off of.
he woke up nearly right after you did, trying to squeeze you close to him in bed but you scrambled out of his hold, promising to make him breakfast instead. you hadn’t expected him to follow you, to press you against the sink, to nip at your neck and kiss his way down to where your underwear rested on your hips. hadn’t expected him to drop to his knees, to worship, to kiss, to taste you. hadn’t expected him to lick you so sweetly with such a rough tongue through the fabric, for your arousal to bleed through onto his waiting tongue.
“Better than breakfast,” he mutters against you, thick fingers spreading you wide to get a good look at your winking hole, how it drools down the inside of your legs. he spits on it, diving back in to follow the trail, his lips puckering as if kissing you in such an intimate way, you think your vision goes black for a moment.
“Make me cum,” you whimper to him, his lapping pushing you up onto your toes, your hips digging into the sink counter. you reach a hand back to hold his face still with a grip on ash blond locks, grinding yourself against him until his face becomes sticky, but he grins all the while. rolls his tongue from his mouth, lets you use him because there’s no better present than being able to please you.
it comes out as a gush, your pleasure. sprays all over his mouth and chin and neck, your cries stuttered and high, your eyes clenched shut, your entire body shaking from the stimulation that overtakes you.
“Even better than birthday breakfast.” Bakugou grins, nose slightly scrunching at the tug to his hair when he slurps at your hole that still drips for him, spitting back the contents once more. he doesn’t catch it this time, just watches the thickness of his spit mingle with your pearlescent stained cum, thumbing open your cheeks to watch your hole clench and unclench from the scrutiny, the wetness slipping down your thighs.
he kisses you once more, a smacking sound, humiliating, before letting your cheeks go. not without another smack on the roundness of them, nipping at the red and warmed mark of his palm that he branded on you just moments before.
“A lot fucking better.” he tacks on once more about the stupid breakfast. you glare at him over your shoulder, even though he’s the one who’s keeping you held up right now with his firm grip around your still twitching hips.
“You’re gonna stop shading my cooking, asshole.” you bite at him, unable to hold back a shudder when you catch his devious grin, the bottom half of his face and neck still wet from your squirting.
“You caught that?” he asks with an innocent cock of his head, pressing another innocuous kiss to your warmed flesh. you tug at his hair a little harder this time, knowing it’s something that the birthday boy loves, especially by the way he’s damn near leaked through his white boxers.
“Shit head.” you mumble, but he only grins wider, his eyes flickering with the promise of devouring you whole today. just as a little birthday treat, he supposes.
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