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everyonesfavoritenotetaker · 2 months

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Aaaanddd that's enough of that. Cantaloupe leaps up, going back to his original, cartoony self- Snapping Broccoli back with him as well.

[🍈]"YOU LITTLE-" Is all that is heard before Cantaloupe takes chase, dashing after the now scrambling vegetable.

[🍈] "GET BACK HERE, ILL SHOW YOU BALD!"

Oh and uh. Happy release date, Lemon </3

#Retro Brute [Cantaloupe]#shaking citrus [lemon]#The Notetaker Talks! [Broccoli]#[[His birthday just ended. R.I.P.]]#this is?? semi crack??#Failed The Test [CRACK]

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fanaticalthings · 7 days

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Give me crime lord!Jason who's actually on good terms with the batfam. Not only would it actually be helpful when it comes to missions surrounding underground/illegal operations (Jason would be able to retrieve way more insider knowledge) but also I think having a supervillain family member that you're chill with is just untapped comedic potential that needs to be taken advantage of.

---

Damian gets into a petty fight with Bruce, and the next day, instead of waiting for Bruce to pick him up from school, he calls Jason, who shows up in full Red Hood regalia and just rides off with Damian.

Of course everyone at school sees that Wayne's son just got snatched by Gotham's most notorious crime lord, so ofc when Bruce gets there, sees Damian missing, and hears a series of panicked whispers about a gun slinging, criminal biker riding off with a prince of Gotham, Bruce immediately knows what's up and just sighs, already anticipating the many publication companies he's gonna have to bribe to stay silent.

---

Sometimes, they need Jason's help with intercepting certain illegal trades within the underworld of, not just Gotham, but just common areas where shady businesses are most prevalent. And when Bruce requests that Jason brings evidence of said illegal shipments to the cave, Jason will smugly respond with "I can, but it'll cost ya"

And Bruce is all exasperated like, "Jason, please, this mission's been going on for a month, I just want to get it over with."

And Jason's just looking down at the crate of smuggled materials, recognizes that it's highly sought after by many rogues (maybe it's machinery parts or rare chemical substances, etc) and ofc Jason's about to be petty as hell when responding to Bruce:

Jason: I don't think you have any idea how valuable the stuff I have is. If I sold this myself in my part of the underground, I'd make a fortune!

Bruce: Jason

Jason: Butttt, if you're not willing to pay me for this, y'know, despite being a billionaire, I guess I could just auction this off to another willing client

Bruce: Jason

Jason: I hear Lex Luthor's been cookin' up something new for Superman. I wonder if he'd be interested?

Bruce: Son, please.

Jason:

Bruce:

Jason: I'll give you a family discount.

And it's just a back and forth of this EVERYTIME. And Jason only does it when he's collaborating with Bruce. None of the other bats have to deal with Jason demanding money.

---

There was one time, during a Wayne gala where practically ALL the kids (except Jason, dude's still legally dead), had to show up. And around halfway through, the Red Hood just crashes through the skylight and then just fucking kidnaps Bruce Wayne, in front of everyone. And of course the gala has to be cut short.

Meanwhile, Bruce, in Jason's custody: I CANNOT believe you, son. WHY of all times would you do this? You are GROUNDED, I don't care if you don't live with me anymore, this is just UNACCEPTABLE-

Jason, completely ignoring him, holding up a tablet with news article headlines about this incident: Bruce, look at this shot they got of me crashing through the ceiling, I look fuckin' badass

And then when the fam (in costume) come to "save" Bruce, in a blink and you'll miss it moment, Bruce catches Cass and Jason whispering something to eachother in the corner and them fist bumping before Jason books it out of there. He can already feel a headache brewing.

And generally speaking, I feel like the batfam could be way more efficient with this arrangement. You got the regular team of bats, investigating from above, as well as being able to infiltrate socialite environments as Waynes. Then you got Jason, who can keep an eye on all the lesser exposed and lucrative activities whilst he keeps the underground businesses under his control. I feel like it would be a win win situation that would be hella interesting to see explored.

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merokado · 7 days

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CHRONICALLY ONLINE!

hey, you've reached suna. leave a message at the beep.

after a week straight of being holed up in the dorm working on your finals, with an annoyingly noisy next-door neighbor at that, you're finally out at a party. with the stress of piling assignments, deadly deadlines, and an infuriating neighbor who you've endlessly tried to confront but somehow have never seen the face of — it was time to get drunk. usually, the more alcohol you drink, the more single you feel; you're blackout drunk. now flirting with the guy you've been eyeing the whole night, everything's going well. but why does his voice sound so familiar?

pairing: suna rintarou x f!reader

status: ongoing (started may 31, 2024)

genre: 18+ romance, smau + written

tags: social media au, college au, strangers to lovers, neighbors to lovers (???), crack, fluff, angst, smut if i feel like it

warnings: swearing, alcohol, drug use (marijuana), suggestive and sexual themes

taglist is open! comment to be tagged :)

profiles:

art students (and atsumu) | Freaky Singles Looking For Love (18+)

teasers:

semi's gig | where's bo taking us this time?

the setup.

01. bitch i'm on my way!

02. a breath of fresh...vodka

03. that was me last night?

04. regrets, regrets, and more regrets

05. a user wants to send you a message

06. that was you the other night?

07.

08.

09.

10.

the confrontation.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

☆ mera's mail ! hey divas this is my first actual smau (but i've always wanted to make one lol!) i've regressed into my 2020-2022 haikyuu phase and i've been trying to look for smaus to no avail ... so i decided to make my own instead because i'm self-indulgent like that. ALSO the cover photo for this took me an egregious amount of time because i had to start over so i hope y'all like it. recommend some series' you think i'd enjoy! you can send me questions, suggestions, etc. in my ask too. i am also very open to moots mwahahah

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stagefoureddiediaz · 5 days

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As so many of you are filling my inbox asking about salad and why I found the fact they had two types of salad for dinner in the Buck and Tommy dinner scene so funny, I'm guessing you're new to the 911 fandom - Welcome if so! I am going to give you a very brief rundown of salad and Buck and Eddies various relationships, but @clusterbuck is actually the keeper of salad theory and you can find far more detailed analysis over on her blog than you’re getting from me here!!

I can't find gif of the actual salad moments so have pictures!!

Chris smashed salad bowl that he is making a salad in with his dad in season 4 (in Breaking point) - when he finds out about Ana being the person Eddie is dating.

We have Ana turn up at the firehouse with Chris during the black out in 5x02 with 5 - yes 5 - types of salad When Eddie has his second on screen panic about Ana - when Ravi mistakes her for his wife.

Then in 5x03 just before they break up - Eddie, Chris, and Ana are at the dining table in the Diaz house and they are eating fruit salad

Then in 5x05 we have Taylor with her prepackaged fruit salad breakfast the she has 'made' for Buck when he gets home

she is making a bean salad in 5x09 during the most awkward I love you scene in the history of television!

Then we have a caprese salad in front of Natalia during the Dinner Buck cooked for her in 5x17 - when she finds out about various aspects of Bucks past and present - Taylor on the tv and Kameron turns up

Then in 7x07 - when Eddie is daydreaming of a do over with Shannon during his lunch with Marisol they are eating a salad

then we now have Buck and Tommy eating two different types of salad (a pasta salad and a salad salad) on their dinner date

so basically it's become a bit of a running joke that if salad is involved with Buck or Eddie and one of their dates (especially in their own homes) , the relationship is doomed!

#this is only a semi serious theory - its just amusing that pretty much every time either Buck or Eddie have a salad with one of their dates #in their own home - things tend to go sideways or south prety soon after - it is very much a pattern;#Chris makes and then smashes a salad and two episodes alter we see him literally sitting between Eddie and Ana #Ana gets broken up with after bringing salad to the firehouse and serving Eddie fruit salad when he comes home #Taylor serves a fruit salad and two episodes later we see the cracks appearing in their relationship (the truth is everything) then #two episodes later Taylor makes a bean salad and says I love you and two episodes later Buck kisses Lucy #Buck serves Natalia a Caprese salad and she runs away - she comes back but two episodes later (7x01) Buck has broke up with her #Marisol and Eddie eat salad in the Diaz kitchen and two episodes later she walks in on him in the arms of another woman - who looks like hi #dead ex wife #and now Buck and Tommy are eating salad in 7x10 so maybe we need to keep an eye on 8x02 as it may well be a moment of doom for Buck #and Tommys relationship based on previous salad sightings - not saying it will be a break up but we may very well see major cracks appearin #salad theory #its laways two episodes later!#eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 abc #buddie #buddie and salad #right in front of my salad

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hynko · 11 months

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haikyuu situationship texts

Characters: semi, suna, kenma, shirabu, lev, oikawa, tendou, kuroo, nishinoya

warnings: very suggestive, profanity

genre: crack

authors note: most of these r inspired by memes on tiktok😭feel free to request !!

m.list | recent text fic

hynko est 2021-2023 do not repost, translate or copy. reblogs r appreciated ily <3

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splitontendo · 1 year

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HAIKYUU CHARACTER ON TWT!!

(tw) ft: yachi, yamaguchi, miya a, hanamaki, lev, semi, bokuto, kuroo, suna & kita.

#haikyuu #haikyuu crack #hq smau #haikyuu texts #haikyuu smau #hq #hq texts #haikyuu social media au #yachi hitoka #yamaguchi tadashi #atsumu miya #hanamaki takahiro #lev haiba #semi eita #bokuto kotaro #kuroo testuro #suna rintaro #kita shinsuke

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twistedappletree · 5 months

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fieryskies · 8 months

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Maybe the reason Ai - the 15th Clara Doll - "has yet to come" as the Rebellion production notes say, is because she is not solely Homura's familiar.

In the Wraith Arc, the presence inside her Soul Gem that guides Homura at her lowest moment is a being sprung from her and Madoka's mutual feelings. A sentiment so powerful it allowed a new miracle to emerge.

It is only when she is ready to hear the truth about this fact and when she decides to utilise her love as a positive force that defends Madoka that she can see this being.

The Clara Dolls are facets of Homura's "dirty", "lowly" self that she considers should bring punishment upon her. However, Ai is different, because she is not individualistic like the rest and is not inherently negative as her other "sins".

This is why it is Homura herself who seemingly adorns her garments by Rebellion's climax. The source of her strength and her ugliest, most undeserving side. A desire useful only for granting Madoka an escape from her fate, no matter how temporary. Certainly not meant for reciprocation.

And so, as long as Madoka can't remember these feelings and Homura refuses to perceive their existence, Ai can't properly manifest.

In conclusion, she is basically their love child-

#This turned from semi-serious to conspiracy crack real quick #Madohomu #Madoka Kaname #Homura Akemi #The Clara Dolls #Puella Magi Madoka Magica #Madoka Magica #pmmm #madoka x homura #homura x Madoka #OTP: Like I Met Her In A Dream

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wumiings · 1 year

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Best Wife

“Gwen is the best at everything, isn’t she?” Merlin remarked as they walked together. “Best seamstress, best friend, best queen…”

“Best wife,” Arthur added fervently.

Merlin hummed at that and made an ambivalent gesture, just to be difficult. He then had to bite his lip to hold back the laugh that bubbled up in his throat at the king’s indignant expression.

Guinevere, of course, caught the glittering amusement in his eye right away. She put on a tone of exaggerated injury as she demanded, “Merlin, you don’t think I’m the best wife?”

Merlin shot her a well-constructed grimace of guilt and sympathy. “Well, I mean, every man has got to be biased in favor of his own wife, hasn’t he?”

“You don’t have a wife, Merlin,” Arthur informed him with a scowl.

Merlin shrugged, unaffected by the pronouncement. “I might do.”

“No, you don’t—”

Just then, Merlin caught sight of Lancelot coming down the hallway. His eyes lit up. “Lance!”

The knight looked towards the sound and, noticing the trio, waved in greeting.

“I need you to settle a matter for me,” Merlin told him, the picture of earnestness. When Lancelot nodded, he asked, “Who has the best wife: me or Arthur?”

To the king’s immense shock, a stricken look crossed Lancelot’s face.

“You want me to choose?!” he demanded almost shrilly, and if it was an act, it was the most flawless performance in the five kingdoms, because his voice even cracked on the question.

Merlin’s gaze softened at once. “No, no, if it’s too difficult to say, I won’t make you. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

Lancelot looked like a man granted a reprieve from execution— an absolutely ridiculous response to an already baffling conversation. Then, with a short nod of farewell, he hurried off down the hallway as if fearing Merlin might change his mind.

Both Arthur and Gwen stared after his retreating back for a long moment before slowly turning those stares back on Merlin.

“Do you have a wife?” the queen asked, incredulous.

Merlin only shrugged again and repeated with a small, mischievous grin: “I might do.”

#bbc merlin #fic #drabble #semi-crack #arwen #freylin #i know this doesn’t mention freya’s name but you know #poor lancelot did not want to be involved in that At All

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lemonflavoreddishsoap · 8 months

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no one asked for this but I'm writing it anyway. Also time doesn't exist in this thing, that or Ghiaccio's computer time travelled

Ghiaccio with an S/O who plays Papa's Freezeria on his computer

---------------------------------------------------------------------

This was it. The biggest step in your relationship thus far. No, not marriage.

Ghiaccio agreed to share his computer with you.

You didn't have one of your own and amongst other expenses you just never got around to buying one. So, with a lot of deliberation and building trust, he sent you a message saying that you could make an account on his. You would have to wait until he got home though, so he could show you how.

Unfortunately, you either didn't read or disregarded that last part of the message, and with a childlike glee flung yourself to his desk, loudly click clacking the keys and brute forcing your way into figuring out his password. You must have woken it up from it's sleep because there was nothing open when you got in. Then, you sat back and tapped your chin for a while...what exactly were you going to do first?

Then, like a prophetic vision from God, a wave of nostalgia brushed across your body, making you literally shiver. A flash of color and music and ice cream played in your mind. The name "Papa..." escaped your lips in a longing sigh.

In a flash, you've got google open, searching up Coolmathgames. Holy shit. HOLY SHIT. THE LINK IS PURPLE. Racing through the website, briefly noticing an account signed in, and nearly breaking the mouse as you clicked on the link for "Papa's Freezeria".

....HE HAS A SAVE FILE!! RANK 20!??? When the hell does he have the time to play this??

Despite your sense of curiosity absolutely HOWLING, you knew you had already snooped more than enough, so making your own save file it is, you suppose.

-

Has it been an hour? Maybe two? Who knows, there's no use in me asking anyways because the time certainly hasn't crossed your mind. You're glued to the game, having a nearly perfected strategy executed with each and every cartoon-y costumer. You probably don't even remember whose computer you're playing on - this reality and the reality of Freezeria have entirely merged to you.

At least, that's the case before you feel one hand clamp down on the back of your chair, and another landing on top of your own hand that's gripping the mouse.

"I thought I told you to wait?"

Ghiaccio is clearly restraining himself, there's a rasp in his voice that you only hear when he's giving his all to not shout. Your lips are sealed shut, unsure how to justify your current situation. He must have then taken a good look at the screen because next thing he said was-

"And why the FUCK are you playing THAT!?"

Shit, you legit didn't have an answer. As he's standing there giving you a weirded out look, you remember the hypocrisy in his anger. You stutter wildly, still trying to reach for some explanation, as you duplicate the tab to start the game again - you swear you see his face drop. You point at his save file with a "huh!!" sound, and suddenly he's red in the face, hand retreating from on top of yours as if the contact suddenly burned him.

"Fine!! Whatever. Just finish the fuck up and..." he groans. It always feels good to embarrass him, and plus you know he can never stay mad at you for long.

"I will, I'm almost done with this day. Last order," you promise, clicking back to your original tab and getting right back to work. Ghiaccio has nothing else to do but stand and watch you play. What you don't see is his face slowly contorting in disgust as you sloppily dump toppings over the dessert.

"That's not how you place the cherries!!! That one's supposed to be centered, and the other two have to be NEATLY placed apart! They're gonna fucking hate it!" Ghiaccio exclaims, stabbing the screen with his index finger. You roll your eyes, it definitely doesn't surprise you that he's a perfectionist in this video game.

You both watch in anticipation as the costumer tastes their ice cream, and when a 72% score appears over the "top station" button you let out a cheer. You swivel your chair to face Ghiaccio and gesture to the screen, "see? they liked it!!"

He scoffs at the score, "it sure wasn't deserved."

"What!?" you put a hand on your chest in fake-hurt, "how dare you. Louie would never treat me like this!!"

Ghiaccio blinks at you with wide eyes, needing several long seconds to process what you just said.

"...Since when were you on a one-name basis with Papa Louie!?"

#this is pure crack #im so sorry #la squadra #jjba x reader #la squadra x reader #ghiaccio x reader #IDK WHY I WROTE THIS. BUT I DID. AND IT WAS FUN #imagine cheating on ghiaccio with papa louie /j #I hope this is at least entertaining LMAO #i started this semi seriously and then gave up

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hallowsden · 1 year

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"Danny?"

After no response through the door, Jonathan sighed as he walked up to it closer and leaned at the wall next to it.

"You've been in there for a while now, y'know? Your sis is getting worried. All of us are, kid. Skipping meals like that ain't healthy either... Sure, Ed and I do it often but that doesn't mean-..." The older man's voice started to trail off when he felt something wet under his feet.

"What in the-" He felt his skin grow pale the moment he saw the green liquid leaking under the floor "-Oh... Oh, no- DANNY!? I'M COMING IN!"

Light from the hall leaked in the dark room, as the leak of glowing green trailed towards the single twin bed, where a figure sat atop of it.

Stepping in, Jonathan was hit with an Aura of wrongness. "Danny? You... You alright there, child?"

He watches Danny slowly turn his head, a loud sickening crack following it, and much to Jonathan's horror, he now saw why everything felt wrong.

"It's April third, Uncle Jonathan. Sister Jasmine knows this. Sister Jasmine should have remembered this."

Danny wasn't here in his room right now. Danno was.

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lunatic-pudge · 25 days

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The Great Swedish Fish Disaster

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Scout has a crush on Sniper and wants to help him with his Swedish Fish addiction) (Crack fic)

I'm not much of a character x character type of person. But this was a request and it was fuuny so who am I to say no to this. Please enjoy this mess. And yeah, it kinda ends abruptly, oops.

Requested by Gojifan1962

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sniper was an interesting man to say the least. He was a man who took his job seriously. Someone who would sit in one specific position for hours on end, just to get the one perfect shot. But yet, at the same time, he'd piss in jars, filling them to them brim and throwing them at unsuspecting victims. Cackling at them afterwards, mocking the poor piss-soaked person who was just trying to go about their day.

Sniper was such a strange man, and that's what Scout loved about him. He loved how polarizing Sniper was. But there was one problem though.

Sniper was an addict.

No, it wasn't to drugs or alcohol, he was smarter than that. No, it was something to much, much worse.

Swedish Fish.

Everywhere Sniper went, he had a pack of Swedish Fish with him. All of Sniper's little hiding spots, there were packs of Swedish Fish just waiting for him. And the worst place was his camper van. The man had two whole cabinets just dedicated to the red gummies! It was neverending.

It worried Scout. Though he was scared to admit it, he loved Sniper. He cared about the Aussie very much. So it worried him to see his beloved friend constantly munching on those damned fish. How had Sniper not grown sick of them yet? It was ridiculous.

So here sat Scout in the rec room, thinking. Pyro sat beside him, scribbling away at their drawing. Scout tried to not pay too much attention to it, due to how graphic the drawing was. It was a strange mixture of cute and morbid. Scout needed help, and he figured it wouldn't hurt to ask the pyromaniac for some help.

"Hey, Py, you got a moment?"

"Hmm?" Pyro looked up from their drawing to Scout, head tilted in curiosity.

"I need some help. You ever notice how Sniper is always eating Swedish Fish?"

Pyro nodded.

"I think it's getting outta hand. I wanna help him get get off the stuff, but I don't really know how to." Scout sighed, shaking his head. Looking over to the other merc, hoping they'd offer something useful.

Pyro hummed, thinking for a moment before an idea came to mind. They got up, urging Scout to do the same. Taking the young merc's hand, Pyro mumbled out their little idea while walking out of the rec room.

~~

"Alright, I'll bite, where we going, mate?" Sniper asked, sitting blindfolded in the backseat of a car he was led to by Scout and Pyro. He knew this couldn't be good, when those two paired up disaster was always just around the corner.

"You'll see soon, Snipes. Just hang on a bit" Scout said, turning to look over at Pyro with a smirk. Scout was quite surprised when he found out Pyro could drive, though when asked about their license, Scout was just met with a blank and unnerving stare.

Scout was excited, he was finally gonna be able to help his crush kick his-

His thoughts were suddenly disrupted by the familiar sound of crinkling. That very familiar crinkling noise.

Whipping his head around, Scout stared in horror at Sniper.

"Snipes! What are you doing?"

"Nothing." Sniper said while casually popping a Swedish Fish in his mouth.

Scout stared blankly for a second before reaching over and snatching the bag from him. Sniper let out a screech, offended that his beloved candy was taken from him.

Sniper blindly reached forward, trying to find locate where Scout was. "Give it back, dickhead!"

"No" Scout moved away from Sniper's grabbing hands. "You don't need these, Sniper!"

"Who the hell are you to tell me what I can and can't have?"

"I'm trying to do what's best for you!"

"I swear to God, mate, if you don't give those back I'll-"

"Hmph hmph!" Pyro said, pulling in to park at their destination.

Sniper ripped the blindfold off and stared at the building, reading the name of it.

"Rehab?"

"Yeah, that's right" Scout started, "Sniper, you have a problem, and Pyro and I feel like the best way to squash this is to put you in rehab"

Sniper stared at Scout absolutely dumbfounded, "Mate, I don't have no addiction. I don't need no rehab. Besides, this is for people addicted to drugs and alcohol, not fuckin' candy."

"Yeah, whatever. Keep denying it all you want, that isn't gonna change anything. If you keep fighting this, I'll have Pyro tie you up, right, Py?" Scout looked over to Pyro who proceeded to hold up a scary amount of rope.

Sniper gave it, not wanting to deal with Pyro's wrath. The three proceeded to leave the car and enter the building, walking up to the receptionist desk. Sniper could already tell something bad was going to happen. Scout walks up to the desk, leaning against it, trying to look cool.

The receptionist looks up and smile gently, "Hello! How may I help you?"

"Hey, toots, I'm here to check my friend in. He's, like, a super addict and needs some serious help."

"Well, that's what we're here for. What is it that he's addicted to?"

"Swedish Fish." Scout proclaimed

...

"Excuse me?" The nurse looked at Scout, confused as to if she heard him correctly. "Did you say 'Swedish Fish'?"

"Yeah, I did. He's so crazy addicted to them. We keep finding him eating them, and even had to take them from him before we even came here!" Scout throw his hands around, throwing up the dramatics.

The nurse became flabbergasted. "Sir, I'm sorry, but this is a place to rehabilitate from drugs and alcohol. Not candy. That's something we cannot help with."

Scout looked at the woman, appalled. How could she refuse them like that? His beloved Sniper had a crippling addiction and needed help! And she was just going to turn them away? It was unacceptable. Slamming his hands on the desk, Scout started to argue with the woman. "This is outrageous! My best friend is in dire need of help and you're just gonna turn us away?"

"Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave or I will call the cops." The nurse warns.

"Do it! I dare you. They're gonna be on my side anyways since you think it's okay to deny an addict for help!"

~~

Standing outside of the rehab facility, Sniper and Pyro stood and watched as Scout resisted getting into the police officer's car. Scout screamed and thrashed, going on about how his friend needs help and how he was being unlawfully arrested.

A different officer stood by Sniper and Pyro, he had been questioning the two about the stuff Scout was spouting and about the runner himself as well.

"Is... Is you friend always like this?" The officer asks Sniper.

"Nah, sir, this is rather uncharacteristic of him." Sniper mused, starting to realize that yeah, Scout had been acting strange recently. Sniper had never been one to question things but now here he was, outside of a rehab facility, watching his coworker getting arrested after trying to check him in for liking Swedish Fish. Sniper huffed and shook his head. Scout is Scout. He's just being the young goober he's always been.

Sniper walked up to the cop car Scout was residing it. He asked the officer if he could talk to Scout. The cop allowed it, rolling his window down so the two could speak. Scout was happy to see his Sniper. He wish that Sniper would rip the car door open, pick him up bridal style, and whisk him away from this crazy place.

"Snipes! Dude, you gotta help me get outta here! What they're doing isn't right. I was just trying to help you!" Scout cried, giving Sniper his best puppy eyes to convince the Aussie to help him.

"Mate, you beat three officers unconscious and tried to steal one's car. You're too far gone for me to help."

"But Snipes! Please! There's a reason I did all of this." Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, Scout continued, " Sniper, there's something I wanna tell you. I lov-"

"Wait, you got something behind you ear." Reaching through the bars, Sniper reached behind Scout's ear, causing the runner's breath to get caught in his throat and a blush blossmed on his face. He looked up at Sniper, mesmerized by the Aussie's rugged features. Oh how Scout wanted to kiss this man.

Scout's thoughts got cut off when Sniper pulled his hand back, revealing a Swedish Fish held in between his fingers. That caused Scout to get mad. "Are you freaking kidding me? Get rid of that right now!"

"If you say so." Sniper said, popping the gummy in his mouth with a smile.

"No! Don't eat it!"

"Too late, mate."

Scout groaned, mad that Sniper was essentially able to get the last laugh in. Before he could continue, Sniper spoke again.

"You know, think I'm gonna go back to the base and have and have an Adam Sandler marathon with Pyro."

"You're STILL obsessed with Adam Sandler? God, when do you quit, Snipes?" Scout yelled, not wanting to rememeber those dark times.

Sniper started to walk away, "See ya when you get out of jail!"

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #tf2 scout #tf2 pyro #tf2 sniper #tf2 speeding bullet #speeding bullet #crack fic #crack treated semi seriously

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sealmonger · 2 months

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Loid has to go into Twilight mode to go to the dentist

#sxf #spy x family #sxf loid #loid forger #sxf twilight #sxf headcanon #this is a crack post #that my brain came up with semi randomly

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merokado · 7 days

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teaser: where's bo taking us this time?

masterlist | previous | next

☆ fun facts !

bo is a himbo but he's smart in his own ways LMFAO

samu and bo are the only #auto-capitalization typers because that's how i see them

the flower suna's holding in the photo was for his mom! heheh

☆ mera's mail ! i'm continuing this tomorrow lawl it's 2:16 am .... profiles next (weird order, i know </3)

taglist: open !

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easybrainrot34 · 2 months

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✨Short lil headcanons Pt 2 Icks Addition✨

Enjoy :)

Ayyoooh here’s the monthly content drop. Hope this doesn’t flop 😅👌🏻

Characters: Semi, Atsumu (hint of spice) Akaashi (Bokuto mentioned) Tsukishima, and Ushijima

Ps my ask and request are open :)

Semi is one of those "ya I only listen to obscure artist" / " yeah, I like them, but now they're two mainstream" guys. IM SO SORRY BUT LIKE?? he's a musician and just something tells me that he either listens to these obscure artists that no one really knows about (and lowkey arnt that great) and old 80s rock music but in an elitist way.

Atsumu not only keeps track of his body count, but also cares about others 💀💀. And I mean like notes app of all the peoples names. He doesn't care in a slut shamey way, in like a how freaky/ experienced are you way. His body count is in the 30s btw.

Akaashi not only doesn't use social media, but has that "social media is childish" look on it. Like this man has a Facebook, that he hasn't posted on since like high school, has an Instagram, because Bokuto made it for him, and uses Youtube that's it. It's not so much that it's in a super obnoxious way, but like if you try to tell him some Internet drama, he'll kind of roll his eyes and will go "why does it matter?"

Tsukishima thinks skincare is "girly" and uses 3 in 1 💀💀 God I feel this one in my gut yall! Like u could be doing a face mask and could offer him to do it with u and he would go "umm..no thanks". Also with the 3 in 1 he would be like "it saves time" like sir what ru so busy doing that you can't take two seconds to separate the three in your shower routine?? On top of it though he'll bitch that he has acne.

Ushijima sleeps in the complete dark and silence. This is psychopath behavior first of all. Second tho, he will be like "ya it needs to be quite or I'm not sleeping." And this is something he will not compromise on. I'm talking not even using ear plugs or eye mask kinda shit. You better just get used to sleeping with some headphones on, he's not budging on this.

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!!#anime #haikyuu crack #headcanon #post timeskip #atsumu miya #ushijima wakatoshi #keiji akaashi #semi eita #tsukishima kei #icks #random ass thoughts

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lost-in-my-world-of-dreams · 1 year

Text

Oh No! Looks Looks Like Kolya Needs Some New Clothes!

Nikolai Gogol x Reader

You were out shopping for your boyfriend when you got a genius idea. You had to do most of the shopping for Nikolai since, he is part of a terrorist organization, (you are part of the doa too but you’re more sneaky, shhh) and today, your loving partner needed some extra clothes as one too many of his had fallen victim to an excessive amount of blood splatter, and this time even his seemingly magical detergent couldn’t save it.

But, this lead you to your amazing revelation. It’s no secret that Nikolai has got the most gorgeous thighs in all of human existence, and he was not afraid to own that fact, or to tease you about it for that matter. And who are you to pass up the opportunity to make him show them off? It was fate that the store you went to just so happened to be selling off their excess halloween costumes. So how were you supposed to not buy that slutty nun costume that had the extremely high slits in the dress? And besides, the material was surprisingly high quality.

When you returned home with the most suspicious grin on your face, Nikolai instantly knew something was up. So he used his ability to snatch the bag from you to peak at its contents, suspecting that it was the cause of your evil smile.

“Oh? And what could be in this bag that has my dove so excited?” He teases, evading your attempts at retrieving it and bringing it to himself to peak inside. Upon seeing the garment you oh so lovingly picked out for him, his face goes a little bit red and he starts to laugh.

“Well you did say that you needed some new clothes until you could make yourself new ones, so i took some creative liberties.”

“AAHHH MY DOVE YOU FLATTER ME!!” Nikolai jumps at you and spins you around in a tight hug.

“Now… let me go try this on!!” He grins and runs away to the bedroom to change into the wonderful new outfit you picked out.

#bsd nikolai x reader #nikolai gogol x reader #nikolai gogol #bsd nikolai gogol #nikolai bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd x reader #bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd x gn reader #nikolai x y/n #kinda crack #i can’t write seriously to save my life #first attempt at an x reader #one day i’ll pull through and not write crack (or semi-crack)

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