#this is what it means to be parabatai

[bookishjules]

the way will and jem self-destruct in opposite ways.. how will wrecks his body to mirror his (perceived) wrecked soul, and jem wrecks his soul (i.e. his violin) to mirror his wrecked body.. and how one of them self-destructing triggers the other to spiral as well.. because will sees jem as his goodness, and jem sees will as his capability. and when they attack themselves, they are attacking the thing the other considers to be half of his being. and if will takes away their healthy body, then fine, jem will take away their healthy soul. he'll ruin his violin. he'll give into his desires. and they'll spiral in tandem.

#chewing glass #this is what it means to be parabatai #thank you meli for letting me read cp1 to you so i could have this thought spiral #heronstairs #jem carstairs #will herondale #clockwork prince #tid #tsc

[layla-carstairs]

the way this is the first book Jace & Alec act like proper parabatai 💀 it's always jarring like damn I didn't know yall could that

#a little bit before this Jace has this moment where he's like 'its so nice to have a parabatai bc they always understand what you mean 🥰' #a couple months ago he was fully convinced alec was on the Inquisitor/imogen's side. since when did this start 😭 #bella reads cohf

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

girls it’s his flop allyship chapter…. mr ally swag himself…. he had one flop ass homophobic moment in his life and here it is!!

#not really homophobic. he was being such an ally that it circled around to homophobia #it can happen. it’s not his fault his best friends are the fucking worst #and what i mean by that is that this is the chapter he finds out about the relationship and he got so caught up in being an ally to the one #who had already properly come out that he forgot to be an ally to his whoreish best friend. it happens…. #their ridiculous parabatai swag persists

[bluesadansey]

which tda book is your favorite?

Lord of Shadows slightly edges out Lady Midnight although they’re really close since I love both so much… but LoS has the overall most impactful arcs and storylines to me the section in the Unseelie Court is probably my favorite part of the series, and the ending packs a big emotional punch to say the least. It might be my favorite tsc book period actually I really love LoS. Also like I just said in the previous ask I tend to be a middle book(s) or middle seasons girlie it’s just who I am. I think this book struck a neat balance between being character driven and plot driven that was extremely effective although to be clear it would probably also be my favorite if it was just character centric filler angst about Emma&Jules because that’s who I am… but I’m still glad it was more than that! LM is also wonderful in a way that few first books in fantasy series are to me usually there’s a slow burn for me to be really invested but not here, and the whole murder cult mystery with body horror (had forgotten about the missing hands that made it even better) + forbidden romance + familial dynamics themes combo and vibe really works for me. Qoaad is my least favorite of the three but I still really like it, and I definitely thought far better of it on reread compared to when I first read it since back then I had been anticipating it so hard and theorizing etc. and had very sky high expectations (especially with Clockwork Princess being a rare perfect finale to me and with how much I loved the first two tda books I hoped for Qoaad to accomplish the same thing..) on reread I could evaluate it more for what it is and I came to the conclusion that about 80% of the actual content of the book I am a fan of, it’s just that the pacing of the book is insane. Genuinely if that book was split into two books and they were paced normally I’d have loved them as much as the first two I think! Genuinely I think cc has gotten too attached to trilogies as the sole structure for her work and it’s a big part of why the receptions for her last two finales have been what they are … (well I’m sure there are multiple factors at play but I’m confident that’s one of them) also maybe even effected tmi part 2 because I remember cofa being pretty filler and the plot there feeling like it could be resolved in a duology? I love almost every individual storyline in that book so if you asked me which ones I would snipe for the third book to be paced correctly I’d be hard pressed to get rid of things but if you split it into two books and grounded them each tonally to feel distinct and just gave us some breathing room I think you could stick the landing! But since I like almost every individual element of the book it’s an enjoyable reread when you already know where the story ends up and the best parts of it really work for me / get a level of emotionality from me no tlh or tmi book does so it still ranks high (like #6ish since I like all the tid books more as well as first two tda) for me, I slander her but she’s my bestie <3.

#s speaks #myhouseofivyandstone #so to answer your question Lord of Shadows lol #tda #tsc #asks #I think it’s the same deal with Chain of Thorns objectively btw the issues are more about pacing than content. But then it was the opposite #for me with that book since I wasn’t actively theorizing or anything so I don’t think I went into it with much expectation and I liked it #more than most of the fandom. But I’m curious if I were to reread those books back to back if it would be the opposite and I’d be more #negative on a reread? tabeling that thought for the future #the role hype and expectations have in a reading experience. not to be underestimated #the best part of qoaad is definitely what it has to say about grief which I can also appreciate more now because #sadly my loved experience over the years since I first read the book mean that those resonate more with me now. Especially these methods fo #exploring it in a paranormal/fantasy media #but it is objectively something that makes it an odd finale because there’s a lot of other things at play. Which is why I think there shoul #have been another bigger book to delve into those themes and Thule Livvy and switch-off Jules and everything. And then another book about #the main political storyline and parabatai curse (and there would be overlap ofc but as main areas of focus) #I wonder if that might have been why there’s such a lack of willingness to give Any time to characters grief in ChoTh. Like she went too #hard in the other direction #the dark artifices

[idontgiveaflyinggrayson69]

The Bond

Author: Nat / @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69

Relationship: Neteyam x Fem!Na’vi!Reader

Summary: The bond is a beautiful thing, but it’s also the most painful thing you ever experienced.

Word Count: 14k

Warnings: Smut. Unprotected sex (wrap it up kids). Major character death. Angst. Pregnancy. ATWOW spoilers.

Comments: Hockey people look away, look away… After watching ATWOW I physically could not stop thinking about ‘what if you could feel the bond’ the way Parabatai feel each other in the Mortal Instruments and one thing led to another… This really was supposed to just be a short little imagine just to get the idea out of my head so I could work on my other projects but then I went hmmm no I think this needs some context for it to make sense and then I proceeded to write their entire fucking story cradle to grave and spent WAY too much time fact checking every single detail… There were a bunch of ways I could have expanded this, but I told myself no because no one needs a 50k+ Neteyam story... Also, this was not betad because I was not about to subject my poor beta to my current Avatar obsession.

Disclaimer: I thought Neteyam was 20 the whole movie so that’s how old he is in this, which is about the same age Jake and Neytiri were in the first film. And also, Neteyam wears a battle belt, which means he is seen as a man among the Omatikaya.

do not repost, do not claim as your own

Tsaheylu.

The bond.

The beginning and the end of everything.

You feel their breath, you feel their heart, you feel their strength. It’s your way to connect with the world around you. At least, that’s what they always told you.

It’s a beautiful thing the bond. You can ride and fly and see and hear without uttering a single word. And most beautiful of all, you get to feel your mate, if you were lucky enough to find one.

With a mate, it wasn’t just their breaths and heart you felt like a horse or an ikran. It was deeper, much deeper. You felt them. Their thoughts, their memories, the every ounce of their being. The bond ties you to them—to their soul—for life, connects you to them in a way you’d never be connected to anyone or anything for as long as you lived.

It’s a beautiful thing the bond.

--

You could remember the first time Neteyam brought up the possibility of mating.

The golden son, the next Olo’eykton, the first-born son of Toruk Makto and Neytiri, Neteyam always had big shoes to fill, and it was always something he struggled with in silence. Who was he to talk to about the shade of greatness he grew up in? His father? His mother? His little brother? None of them understood, and none of them saw him.

But you did.

For as long as you could remember, Neteyam had been your closest friend, and you his—outside of his siblings at least. Kiri wasn’t much younger than him, but she had always been closer with Lo’ak than him, and Neteyam had always had more of a protective, fatherly role than a brotherly one with them and Tuk especially.

But you? You held no expectations for him. With you he was just Neteyam—or ’Teyam when he made you laugh hard enough you could barely breathe. You did everything with him. Training, hunting, claiming a banshee. Every step, you were there, and there was no one you felt closer to than him.

You didn’t have a big family like he did, it was only you. But you had him. He was your best friend, your everything, your—

Neteyam was going to be the next Olo’eykton and whoever he took as his mate would be the next Tsahìk, so you knew it wasn’t a decision he took lightly. If his father wasn’t Jake Sully, you were sure he’d have been betrothed to a woman his parents deemed worthy of being the next Olo’eykton’s mate. You didn’t know if Eywa had her eyes on you at the decision not to betroth him because, on one hand, there was a chance he’d take you, but on the other, you knew him choosing another of his own will would break you irreversibly.

Neteyam had shown some interest in the other girls in the village, especially the ones his mother mentioned to him, but you never saw him have more than a few conversations with them, mostly about hunting, which they didn’t seem to appreciate as much as you did.

You didn’t know that they were never the one he wanted. That for him, there had only ever been one.

It was the eve of his iknimaya ceremony, the final step of him becoming taronyu, of becoming a man, that he first brought up the possibility of mating with you. Once he became a man, he could choose a woman.

The thought alone made your chest tight. You couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning in your tent before you finally resigned yourself and slipped out. A night walk in the forest would, at the very least, keep your mind occupied.

You should have known Neteyam had the same idea.

Becoming a hunter, becoming a man, becoming one of the People, and earning his place in the clan all weighed heavily on him. He lived in the shadow of his father who had gone from Sky People to one of the People to Toruk Makto to Olo’eykton in a span of a few months. He was only the sixth Toruk Makto since the first songs and Neteyam knew that even if he were to be a great Olo’eykton, he’d never be his father, and it ate at him.

No matter how hard he tried, Neteyam couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned but his mind fought his every attempt at sleep. He knew he needed sleep for the day ahead, but he wasn’t granted peace and finally he resigned himself to a walk to clear his mind. At the very least, the night would pass more quickly and bring him into tomorrow.

Neither of you realized the other was close, not at first. Your mind was so consumed by the thought of him that you weren’t looking where you were going and didn’t put the care into your steps like you knew you should. The snap of the twig under your step was secondary to you, but it made Neteyam’s ears twitch.

He wasn’t alone.

A moment later, another twig snapped under your foot and Neteyam let it consume his attention. All he had on him was his knife, but it would have to do, he was the best hunter of his age after all.

He followed your uncaring, twig breaking steps silently with his knife down, unsure of what he was following. But as soon as he caught a flash of blue skin in the dark, he let himself relax a little. When he stepped a little closer to get a clearer view, he sheathed his knife as he let out a soft laugh. He’d know you anywhere.

The sound of his laugh made your ears twitch and you tensed. You’d know that sound anywhere. “Neteyam?” You breathed as you turned around and a moment later, he revealed himself with his hands up and a playful smile on his lips as he said your name back to you.

“It is late,” he told you as he stepped closer, his tail flicking behind him. “You should be asleep.”

“As should you,” you replied and returned his smile. “You have a big day tomorrow.”

“Ah,” he brushed you off with a short wave of his hand. “I’ll be fine,” he told you. “I do not have to hunt tomorrow, just become taronyu.”

Your smile slipped for half a moment before you pushed it back up. “I know,” you replied, hoping your tone didn’t betray you.

His ears straightened as he watched you and he hoped, oh Eywa he hoped, that he wasn’t misinterpreting your hesitation as he stepped closer to you. “Once I become taronyu, I may take a woman.”

You couldn’t hide the disappointment in your eyes so you turned away from him. “I know,” you whispered. “It’s a big day for the clan. There are many fine women to choose from.”

His heart dropped, fearing rejection from the only woman he had ever wanted. “I know,” he said and let his tail brush yours as he stepped around you, forcing you to look at him.

You shivered at the touch but brushed it off as an accidental touch. “Your father is very fond of Miayho, and your mother favours Zia,” you told him softly, unable to meet his eyes.

“You’re right,” he agreed. “But I’ve already chosen.” His words made your heart drop and you tried to turn away from him again, but he cupped your cheek to stop you. “But this woman must also choose me.”

“She must be lucky,” you whispered, your heart aching.

“She is,” Neteyam smiled. “She is strong and beautiful and a little slow at times, but she is the only one I could ever want.”

“’Teyam,” you breathed, your voice breaking, but his smile never faltered.

“I’m speaking of you,” he told you and softly shook his head. “Tomorrow I am granted the chance to choose a woman, and you are the only woman I have ever wanted. I choose you, if you choose me, too.”

You were quiet as the weight of his words sunk in, but slowly you cupped his cheek, too. “I chose you the moment I saw you,” you replied and rubbed your thumb over the deep blue line that traced the arch of his cheek.

Neteyam’s smile filled your chest with warmth and you leaned forward to rest your forehead against his. Neteyam’s smile softened as he rubbed his nose against yours. He’d mate you right here right now if you let him, but it was not the way, and a day was a short wait compared to the years he had already been waiting.

“So, it is decided, then?” He asked as he pulled back to look at you.

“It is,” you blushed and dipped your head as your ears went back, already itching to reach for your braid. At your words, Neteyam’s shoulders lightened, somewhat anyway. The weight of being the next Olo’eykton and living up to his father still plagued him, but he knew as long as he had you by his side, he’d be alright.

“We should sleep, then,” he told you and bit his lip. “I intent to mate you before Eywa tomorrow.”

Your blush darkened as you smiled. You didn’t dare ask if his mother or father approved of the match, you didn’t care, you just wanted him, needed him. “We should,” you agreed and tilted your chin up. “It is a big day tomorrow.”

Neteyam’s smile widened and he dipped his head. “A very big day,” he agreed and took your hand before he led you back to the village. The sooner you both fell asleep, the sooner tomorrow would come, and the sooner you could become one.

“You could stay with me,” you told him as you approached your tent.

There was nothing Neteyam wanted more, but he also knew his father would expect him in his own bed bright and early and he didn’t want to start the big day on the wrong foot. “Tomorrow night,” he replied and dipped his head. “Tonight will be our last night apart.”

You hated when he pulled his hand from yours, but you knew he was right, that it was the way. You had waited years for this, you could wait another night. “Tomorrow,” you nodded.

“Tomorrow,” he echoed you before he stepped back. Still, he watched as you slipped into your tent safe and secure before he made his way back to his own and prayed to Eywa his father hadn’t noticed his absence. Thankfully, he hadn’t, and Neteyam settled into his bed with a smile and warm chest.

Tomorrow he became taronyu.

Tomorrow he became a man.

Tomorrow he gained you. 

His eyelids were heavy and sleep came more easily to him. One moment he was thinking of your beautiful golden eyes, the next he was passed out, dreaming of your smile and the comforting flowery scent that always clung to your hair.

--

The sun woke him bright and early like it always did and he smiled as he stretched out.

Today was the day.

“Are you nervous?” Lo’ak asked him over breakfast and Neteyam rolled his eyes.

“Why would I be nervous?”

Lo’ak’s shit eating grin widened as he shoved his brother’s shoulder, “that no woman will want to mate with your ugly face.”

Any other day Neteyam would have told his brother off and shoved him back, but your words were still fresh in his mind—I chose you the moment I saw you—and his ears went back as he dipped his head.

Lo’ak’s smile faltered as he moved closer, his ears perking up before he knocked his shoulder against his brother’s. “Bro,” he said under his breath so their parents wouldn’t hear. “Got something you’d like to share?”

Neteyam knocked his shoulder right back against his brother’s. He was quiet for a moment as he debated whether he should say anything, but Neteyam knew his brother well, better than anyone, and he knew Lo’ak wouldn’t stop pestering him until he spilled. “I may have already chosen a woman,” he said with a small smile. “And she has chosen me as well. We will be mated before Eywa.”

“Bro,” Lo’ak breathed and put his hand on the back of Neteyam’s neck as he gave him a little shake. “You asked her?” Neteyam didn’t have to say a name for him to know he meant you.

Neteyam dropped his head again as he nodded, “it is decided.”

“I am surprised she settled for your skxawng ass, but I am happy for you, bro,” Lo’ak grinned, and he laughed as Neteyam bared his fangs at him and shook him off.

“Watch who you call skxawng, skxawng,” he replied, making Lo’ak laugh hard enough that their father looked over at them and their ears went back as they quickly went quiet.

Jake watched his sons for a long moment before he stepped over and sat down next to Neteyam and put his hand on his shoulder. “Are you ready, son?”

Neteyam smiled as he nodded, “born ready, sir.”

“Good,” Jake smiled and patted his son on the back. “Your mom has the paint, whenever you’re ready.”

Neteyam’s tail flicked behind him. “Actually, if it’s alright, there’s something else who I’d like to do the paint.”

For a moment Jake’s eyebrows raised as he looked at his son before the corner of his lip twitched up as he remembered when Neytiri painted him for his own iknimaya. “Of course,” Jake nodded. “But you have to tell your mother.”

His mother wasn’t exactly happy to give up the chance to paint her first born son ahead of the ceremony, but Neteyam rarely asked for anything and she could see in his eyes that it meant a great deal to him, so she resigned herself and handed the bowls of paint over to him. “I hope you chose well, my son,” Neytiri told him.

“I did,” Neteyam replied with a smile. “Thank you, mother.”

The bowls were full and despite their small size, they felt heavy in his hands as he headed out to find you. Neteyam knew both you and the village like the back of his hand so it was easy for him to find you. you blushed as he met your gaze and he smiled before he lowered his head to you and he sat down across from you.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” You asked him softly, buzzing with anticipation of what was to come.

“I should, yes,” he agreed and sat the bowls of paint down in front of you.

“Neteyam,” you breathed. It was traditionally done by mothers.

“I want you to,” he smiled. “That is, if you want to, too.”

You were quiet for a moment before you nodded. “I want to,” you smiled softly and moved the bowls closer to you, the weight of their significance not lost on you as you beckoned him closer. “Now?” You asked softly.

Neteyam nodded as he moved closer. You blushed when he ginned at you shoved his shoulder before dipping your fingers into the white paint. You started with his arm, your touch light as you traced familiar patterns over his skin. Neteyam shivered, both at the coolness of the paint and your touch and it made you blush deepen as you focused on your lines, not wanting to mess any of them up, especially when you felt the weight of his gaze on you.

After his arms, you moved on to his chest and you gave Neteyam a look when the corner of his lip twitched up. “I am well aware you are a mighty warrior, Neteyam,” you told him and pulled your fingers back so you wouldn’t ruin the lines.

“But now you feel that I am a mighty warrior,” he smirked, making you roll your eyes.

You were quiet for a moment as you tried to think of a reply. Slowly, you trailed your fingers down his abdomen and let your lip twitch up when you felt him tense at your touch. “I do,” you hummed and looked up at him. “And soon I will feel all of you.”

You bit your lip as Neteyam’s eyes darkened but you devoted your attention to finishing the lines on his abdomen before you picked up one of the bowls and moved to his back, giggling as Neteyam’s tail kept flicking as you traced the patterns on his skin and once you were done, you hesitated before pressing a soft kiss to the back of his neck and giggled when his ears stood straight up.

“You are a tease, woman,” he breathed as you settled back in front of him to paint his face.

“Am not,” you replied with a smile as you dipped your fingers into the paint again. “Now stay still.” To his benefit, Neteyam was still as he watched you, his tail flicking every now and then as you traced careful lines over his face, finishing with a feather light touch over his lips.

Your tongue darted out to wet your lips as you looked him over. “You are ready,” you told him as you sat back on your haunches.

“I am?” He asked and you nodded.

“You are.”

Neteyam knew kissing you would ruin the paint you worked so hard to get perfect, but he still thought about it and it took every ounce of his self control not to kiss you. “Thank you,” he smiled before he stood and your heart fluttered in your chest as you took him in.

Your best friend. Your lover. Your mate.

A man.

You took his hand when he extended it to you and let him lead you down to where the ceremony would take place. To no surprise, his parents, siblings, and grandmother were already there and when you met his mother’s gaze, you get go of his hand. You weren’t mates yet and this was his ceremony. A ceremony for the clan.

At the loss of your hand, Neteyam looked back at you but you gave him a reassuring smile as you encouraged him on with a nod so he returned his gaze to his parents. Slowly the rest of the clan emerged and began to form the circle around him, and you.

“Neteyam,” Jake started as he looked at his son, trying and failing to restrain his smile. “My son. You tamed an ikran and completed your dream hunt. You are one of the People now,” he said before putting his hands on Neteyam’s shoulders just like Eytukan had done to him many years before. Once Jake touched Neteyam, the rest of his family and then the clan followed suit, one by one until everyone was connected as they welcomed Neteyam into the clan as a man.

You smiled at him as the people began to separate and once he could, Neteyam turned and put his hand on your shoulder, making you blush. His parents weren’t oblivious as they watched you, and Jake gave Neytiri a knowing smile as he held his hand out to her. It felt like just yesterday that she had done the same to him and he was happy for his son. He chose well, just like he did.

--

Every time a member of the clan came of age, there was a celebration. It was filled with food and dance and stories and songs; and Neteyam spent the whole night looking at you.

He was seated between his father, the Olo’eykton, and Lo’ak, and you were across from him, much too far for his liking. He could hear the people telling stories, but he wasn’t listening as he focused on you. You were the only thing that mattered to him.

You had put flowers in your hair and you wore a top he didn’t recognize so it had to be new and Neteyam couldn’t take his eyes off you. You were his everything.

It was only once the sun began to dip in the sky and people returned to their tents that Neteyam was able to steal some much needed alone time with you.

Neteyam washed the paint off and put his newly earned battle belt on by himself, but Jake stuck around with a gut instinct and gave his son a nod before he put his hand on his shoulder. Neteyam didn’t have to tell him for him to know he intended to take a mate, he remembered his own youth well and he could only hope his son found the same happiness he found in Neytiri.

Neteyam nodded back to his father, a smile playing on his lips. “Are you sure, son?” Jake asked and Neteyam nodded.

“More sure than I have ever been.”

“Good,” Jake nodded and squeezed his son’s shoulder. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

It was Neteyam’s turn to laugh and he shrugged his father’s hand off, dipping his head to his father one final time before he slipped out to find you. He was a man now, and you were his to claim.

Neteyam held his hand out to you and you blushed as you took it and let him guide you toward the Tree of Souls. If you were to be mated, then you were going to do it properly and you would be mated before Eywa.

It was only you and Neteyam before the tree and your heart raced with anticipation. By the time you got before the tree, before Eywa, you were a couple steps ahead of Neteyam and your ears twitched with every step he took to close the distance between you. Your tail flicked as he shifted his weight and it took him way too long to touch you, his hand just barely brushing your back to make you look at him.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he said softly, giving you an out. But you didn’t want an out.

“I want to,” you told him, holding his eyes before you slowly lowered yourself to your knees, your heart racing. This was the moment you had been waiting for your whole life, with the person you had been hoping for.

Neteyam followed your lead and knelt across from you before he pulled his braid over his shoulder. You held his gaze as you did the same, your braid heavy in your hand. You had made the bond with horses and your ikran, but taking a mate was something else entirely. Your heart raced with excitement and anxiety as you gripped the end of your braid and held it up, your tendrils searching for his.

You held Neteyam’s gaze as he gripped the end of his own braid and held it out. You let your eyes drop to your braid as he brought his closer. He paused to give you a chance to pull back, and when you didn’t, he moved his braid closer, letting his tendrils intertwine with yours.

It was unlike anything you had every experienced before.

The air left you lungs and you closed your eyes as you leaned into him, resting your forehead against his as you took a deep breath to steady yourself. His touch felt like electricity as he trailed his hands up your arms. And then you were overcome with warmth and familiarity and comfort. Home, you realized. You felt at home. You pulled back to look at him, your jaw slack and pupils blown and you found Neteyam looking back at you with the same awestruck expression. Warmth and pleasure coursed through your veins and when he cupped your cheek, you leaned into his touch.

And then he kissed you. For as long as you could remember, you dreamt of the touch of your mate, but it was so much better than you could have imagined and you melted into the kiss as you rested your hands on his shoulders and moved closer.

Neteyam’s hands trailed down to your hips and you let him pull you onto his lap, both of you desperate for every touch you could steal. You pulled back from the kiss to catch your breath as you struggled to keep air in your lungs, your pull to Neteyam so strong. Your jaw was slack as you looked at him and you were sure your pupils were as blown as his were.

“Neteyam,” you breathed and rubbed your nose against his, craving his touch.

“I know, my name,” he breathed and rubbed his nose back against yours as he let you feel him through his loin cloth. It pulled a soft moan from your lips which he quickly quieted with another kiss.

“I need you,” he said against your lips and let his hand brush the top of your tail, knowing how sensitive it was, and he was rewarded with you rocking your hips into his.

“I need you, too,” you told him and pulled back so you could run your hand down his strong chest to his newly earned warrior’s belt. It wasn’t something you had ever put on let alone taken off, so Neteyam had to help you rid himself of it so you could once again trail your fingers down his abdomen and down to the top of his loin cloth.

Neteyam’s soft groan had heat pooling between your thighs and you were sure he could feel it. “’Teyam,” you whispered and covered his hand on your hip with your own. His golden eyes were dark as he looked at you and you slowly guided his hand up to your chest, needing him to touch you.

Neteyam had seen your chest more times than he’d care to admit, the necklace and beads provided little coverage, but seeing you and feeling you were two entirely different things. Your skin was warm and soft beneath his touch, but your nipples were hard and when he caught it between his fingers, he was rewarded with a soft moan from you, which he desperately wanted to hear again.

He licked his lips as he brought his hand up to your other breast. His hands dwarfed you, and you moaned and leaned into him as he pinched your nipples, learning exactly what you liked, what you needed.

“’Teyam,” you whined and rocked your hips into his once again. His touch wasn’t enough, you could feel him and you needed him. “My mate,” you whispered and trailed your hands down his back.

“I know,” he nodded. You didn’t have to tell him for him to know. He gave a final tweak to your nipples before trailing his hands down your sides to the band of your loin cloth. He kept his eyes on yours as he undid it and slowly peeled the material away from you. it only made your racing heart more intense as you rested on his lap, and your tail brushed his knees as he looked at you before he laid you back against the soft moss.

You were bare to him, but you didn’t care as he looked at you like you hung the stars in the sky. Neteyam ran his eyes over you before he reached down to untie his own loin cloth, and then there was nothing between you.

“Please, ‘Teyam.”

He nodded and ran his hand up your thigh toward where you needed him most. As soon as his thumb reached the seam of where your thigh met your hip, Neteyam could feel how badly you needed him, your wetness coating your skin, pulling a soft groan from him.

When he finally touched you, his touch was light and you let your eyes close as you moaned softly. He was gentle as he trailed his fingers up your slit to the bud at the top and he was rewarded with a loud gasp when he rubbed your clit. He watched you with careful eyes as he circled the bud with his fingers and felt how you throbbed for him.

The tips of his fingers were rough from his years of hunting, and between the roughness and sureness of his touch, you wouldn’t last long. Your high was building fast and when you opened your eyes and found his familiar golden eyes looking back at you, it sent you over the edge.

“Neteyam,” you moaned as you came, your back arching as you pressed your hips into his hand. Neteyam groaned as you drenched his hand and he kept rubbing your clit through it, loving your blissed out expression. It was only when your moans turned to whines that he trailed his fingers down your slit to your entrance.

“May I?” He asked and you nodded quickly so he pressed his finger into you, moaning at how warm and tight you were. His mate, he thought. His perfect mate.

Once you adjusted to his finger, he added a second, not wanting to hurt you. He felt your every flutter around his fingers and it made his cock ache. “I need you,” he told you, his voice rough from holding himself back.

“Then have me,” you replied and spread your legs wider, desperate for your mate.

“Eywa have mercy,” he whispered and pulled his fingers from you before slotting himself between your thighs. He didn’t have to ask, he could feel your need, and he held your gaze as he guided himself to your entrance.

You gasped as he pressed into you and he rested his forehead against yours until his hips were touching yours. “My mate,” he breathed as you ran your hands down his back, and when you wrapped your legs around his hips, you felt his tail brush your ankle. Neteyam’s breaths were shallow as he rested his forehead against your shoulder, both of you needing a moment to adjust.

You were finally tied together the way you always should have been.

Together.

Connected.

One.

“’Teyam,” you breathed once you had adjusted and you cupped the back of his head.

He knew exactly what you needed and he nodded as he pulled halfway out before thrusting back into you and started a slow rhythm, soaking in every feeling of you. You had never felt so connected to someone and you melted at his touch, unsure of where you ended and he began.

His movements were slow but sure and you were consumed with the feel and smell of him. He filled you in a way you didn’t know you could be filled and you could feel yourself get closer and closer to that high with his every movement.

It wasn’t long until your moans grew louder and you dug your nails into his shoulders as your tail thrashed against the moss. When you came, your veins were filled with warmth, a warmth that only Neteyam could feel as his hips stuttered. The feeling of his mate cumming around him was indescribable and it pushed him ever closer.

He fucked you through your high before he picked his pace up, searching his own high. It wasn’t long before he came, too, burying himself deep inside you as he filled you up. You gasped at the feeling and pulled him closer, needing every piece of your mate you could get.

Neteyam smiled into your neck as you both caught your breath, and he pressed a light kiss to your skin before he pulled back to look at you with a soft smile. “We are mated before Eywa,” he breathed and cupped your jaw.

You leaned into his touch with a soft smile. “We are mated for life,” you replied, making his smile widen.

“My mate, my beautiful mate,” he smiled and rested his forehead against yours as you both soaked each other in.

You stayed with your forehead against his as your highs melted away, and slowly Neteyam pulled out of you, murmuring a soft apology when you whimpered at the loss of him. You could still feel his every breath and heartbeat, just like he could feel yours, and when he reached to break the bond, you shook your head. “Can we stay like this?” You asked softly.

Neteyam dropped his head as he nodded and he gave you a small smile before he kissed you softly. His every touch felt like home and you melted into him. He ran his thumbs over your cheek as he looked at you, his eyes full of love for you before he let himself settle behind you. His chest was warm against your back as he wrapped his arms around your waist and you smiled to yourself as you leaned back against him.

You could feel his breath and his heart and the entirely of his being.

Whole, you realized, you felt whole. Neteyam was your other half, the part you hadn’t realized you were missing. Your everything.

The bond was a beautiful thing.

You smiled as you melted back against him. Your eyelids were heavy and it was easy for sleep to claim you, and when it did, you dreamt of your future with Neteyam—the way you’d grow together and the son he’d give you—and you smiled as you slept, unaware that Eywa had shown Neteyam the same dream.

--

When you woke to the sunlight streaming on your face the next morning, Neteyam was already awake, just soaking in the feeling of you, your braids still conjoined. He smiled when he realized you were awake and guided you onto your back so he could look at you as he rested on his side.

“Good morning, my mate,” he smiled softly.

“Good morning, my mate,” you repeated and reached out to cup his cheek. Neteyam leaned into your touch, making you smile as you ran your thumb over the arch of his cheek.

All he wanted was to stay wrapped up in you forever, but he knew you both had things to do and expectations to meet. “We should head back to the village,” he whispered and you sighed before nodding.

“We should,” you agreed, even if all you wanted was him.

He nodded and pressed a soft kiss to your lips before he asked to separate your braids. You didn’t want to, but you nodded and let Neteyam pull his braid from yours. You gasped at the break, feeling colder than you did a moment before, but even without the bond you could feel Neteyam. It was nowhere as strong as when your braids met, but he still lingered in the back of your mind and you knew you lingered in the back of his. You gave him a soft smile as you trailed your hand down his arm and he grinned at you, so in love with you.

It wasn’t hard for both of you to redress, through it did take you a few extra moments to clean your thighs, which made Neteyam smirk as he watched you, both of you taking your time, neither of you wanting the moment to end.

You had left the village as individuals, but now you returned as a mated pair. You held his hand as you let him guide you through the village toward his parents, toward the Olo’eykton.

As the Olo’eykton, it was his duty to know of every newly mated pair, and had it been anyone but his father, you wouldn’t have been so nervous. Sure, it was soon after his iknimaya, but he was still a man. But it was Neteyam’s father and Neteyam was the next Olo’eykton, making you, his mate, the next Tsahìk, and you couldn’t disappoint his family, or the People.

To no surprise, his family was already awake. Village life always started early.

“Neteyam,” Neytiri started when she laid her eyes on her oldest son, but her next words died on her tongue when she saw him holding your hand. He didn’t have to say anything for her to know. At his mate’s voice, Jake looked over and the corner of his lips twitched up as he saw his eldest son, already sensing his earlier intuition was correct.

“Mother, father,” Neteyam said and dipped his head to his parents, his hand never leaving yours, “I am taronyu now,” he continued. “Which means—”

“You may now choose a woman,” his mother finished for him, thinking back to the night she told Jake the very same words.

“Yes,” he breathed before he glanced back at you with a smile. “And I have.”

“You have?” Jake asked and Neteyam nodded as he looked to his father.

“We are mated before Eywa.”

His mother took a sharp breath in, not in disapproval, but out of realization that her eldest son had truly become a man and had left her nest. Jake touched Neytiri’s arm to ground her as he nodded to his son. “We’re happy for you,” he said for the both of them before looking at his own mate, encouraging her to say something.

“We are,” she breathed and stepped forward to cup Neteyam’s cheek. “My son,” she whispered and ran her thumb over the arch of his cheek.

Neteyam smiled at his mother before he nodded and pulled back from her touch, his smile widening as he looked at you and let his tail brush yours. Jake nodded at the interaction before he smiled at you, “welcome to the family.”

Your smile widened before you dipped your head to him. “Thank you, sir.”

“Nah,” Jake waved his hand. “It’s Jake.” He told you, though one day you’d come to call him ‘dad.’

You were welcomed into the Sully family with open arms. Neytiri had her reservations, as would any mother, but Jake adored you. He saw how deeply you cared for Neteyam, and how deeply Neteyam cared for you, and though he’d never admit it, Jake could see him and Neytiri in you two.

Neteyam’s youngest sister, Tuk, adored you and though Neteyam was her best friend, you were a close second. Kiri was happy to have another sister, and one closer in age than Tuk. And Lo’ak…

Lo’ak treated you like you had always been there. He didn’t hesitate to make fun of you like he did for the rest of his siblings, and he certainly didn’t hold back as he made fun of you picking Neteyam for your mate. It always made Neteyam roll his eyes and, more often than not, call his sibling a skxawng, but it made you smile because it meant you were truly part of the family and you loved it.

The bond was beautiful, as was the family you gained with it.

The problem was, nothing stayed perfect forever.

Everything changed the day Jake realized there was one too many stars in the sky.

Twenty years before, Toruk Makto led the clans to victory over the Sky People, all Na’vi knew his story, but the war was over, something of the past, something that had come and gone before either you or Neteyam were born—or it was supposed to be anyway.

The Second War against the Sky People was more intense than you could have ever imagined, with the guns and the fire and the relocation and the devastation and the death—so many deaths.

A very capable hunter, Neteyam was always involved in the war effort. A spotter. He tried to reassure you that it was the safest role he could have, that he wasn’t on the ground on the front lines, but it didn’t make you feel any better. There was no “safe” in a war. And you had seen too many of your people die.

As the mate of the next Olo’eykton, you could be the next Tsahìk, so Mo’at had taken you under her win, teaching you so you could one day take her place. So, unlike your mate, his parents and his brother, your role in the war wasn’t out there but back at home as you worked to heal the wounded—and make comfortable those who would be welcomed into Eywa’s arms.

You knew your role was important, but it was hard. It was hard to see the devastation and the death, and it was hard knowing your mate was out there and could just as easily be the next person who came through the tent flap in need of help.

You could never breathe deeply, let alone eat or drink, until he was home safe.

And the day he came back home bruised and bloodied, you dropped your tray of herbs before you rushed to him, even as Jake scolded him and Lo’ak.

“I’m fine,” he told you softly, but the blood on your hand said otherwise.

“You are bleeding, he is bleeding,” you said as you turned to Jake after he finished his little speech. “I am taking him to Mo’at.” Neytiri backed you up, also worried for her son, so Jake dismissed him and you heard Neytiri arguing with him as you led Neteyam toward the healing tent, your hand on his back.

“I’m fine, truly,” he repeated once you two were out of earshot of his parents.

“You are hurt,” you replied softly and stopped to look at him, taking his hand in yours. “My heart aches seeing you hurt.”

Neteyam gave you a soft smile and rested his forehead against yours. “I am fine, my mate,” he said before he kissed you. “I feel no pain when I am with you.”

His words made your heart flutter and you retuned his smile. “You still require healing,” you replied and led him to Mo’at’s tent where Kiri was helping her grandmother.

You knew you should help Mo’at, but you couldn’t find it in you to leave your mate’s side. Kiri knew what to do, she was even better than you were, and you were more than happy to let her assist Mo’at while you held Neteyam’s hand, the end of your tail curled around his ankle.

Your heart ached every time he winced at the sting of the antiseptic and you squeezed his hand as you watched Mo’at and Kiri. His wound looked worse than it was, and you let out a relieved breath as they finished up.

“See?” Neteyam smiled weakly. “I’m okay.” You shook your head but still thanked Eywa that your mate was alright.

Still, you struggled to find sleep that night, your mind consumed with the what ifs of your mate’s injury. It would be too easy for his injury to be worse, for him to be taken from you. You had seen too many lose their mates the last year and had their blood curling screams as their hearts shattered beyond repair permanently imprinted in your memory.

To lose a mate was a fate worse than death, and you knew you’d never survive it.

Neteyam healed quickly from his wounds and Lo’ak was grounded for his recklessness. Neteyam was back on his ikran long before Lo’ak was, and without his ikran, without being involved in the war, Lo’ak somehow managed to create even more trouble as he convinced his siblings to return to the old shack.

It was a harmless intention born out of boredom and frustration, but the results were life altering.

It was Avatars. New Avatars. In tactical gear. They managed to get Lo’ak, Kiri, Tuk and Spider under their knives and you didn’t want to think of what could have happened if not for Jake, Neytiri and Neteyam. But Jake knew they’d never stop hunting them, hunting his family. They may have won the battle, but the war still raged.

Everything changed after that, after they took Spider.

Jake and Neytiri knew the People would never be safe as long as they stayed with them, so they had to leave.

The words were like stones in Neteyam’s heart as he told you his family was planning to leave.

The Forest was your home, the only place you ever knew, the only place you ever wanted to know. The Forest was where you were born, where you grew up, where you fell in love with Neteyam, where you were supposed to raise your children.

Neteyam could sense your hesitation. “My father said it was for the best. He said that the Sky People are hunting us and not the People, so if we leave, the People will be safe,” he explained as he took your hand in his and brushed his tail against yours. “But I will stay with you if you ask me, my mate.” He would follow you to the end of the world if you asked.

You tightened your lips as you thought, but it was an easy decision. Just a painful one. “I go where you go,” you told him softly and squeezed his hand. “You are my home and my future, Neteyam.”

In hindsight, you really wished you had asked him to stay.

You packed your things onto your ikran and your heart ached as you said your goodbyes, but Neteyam was your mate. You couldn’t be without him.

Neteyam flew by your side as you left the Forest and even without touching him, you felt his comfort and you gave him a soft smile. As long as you were together, you’d be alright.

In the end, you found sanctuary with the Metkayina, the reef people.

It was hard to learn their ways, it was hard leaning the way of the water when the Forest was all you knew, but what you didn’t expect was how hard it was to see Neteyam lose his battle belt. His whole life he had been working toward it, working to become taronyu and earn his place among the People, and he barely had it a year before it was taken from him; before his symbol of manhood was taken from him.

Neteyam may have been taronyu, a man, among the Omatikaya, but you were Metkayina now and the iknimaya of the Omatikaya meant nothing here. He had to learn the way of the water and earn his place among the Metkayina before he’d be seen as a man.

Like Jake, Neteyam’s ears dropped as his belt was taken away and you did your best to steel your shoulders like Neytiri. You both had to be strong for your mates.

None of you were seen as adults among the Metkayina, but rather as children. It frustrated some more than others, like you and Neytiri. Neteyam took after his father and tried to take the transition in stride and did what he could to fit in.

And if the relocation and the helpless feeling wasn’t enough, you were sick a few times after the transition. Initially, you blamed it on the dietary shift. Sure, fish had been a part of your diet before, but it was freshwater fish and something you only had on occasion rather than every meal of every day. It was easy to blame your sickness on the fish, you just didn’t realize that none of the others were getting sick. Not until you were shucking oysters with Ronal at least.

Ronal was the Tsahìk of the Metkayina. She saw all and she was especially hesitant toward you and Neytiri. Both you and Neytiri were being trained to become the Tsahìk of the Omatikaya, so it was natural for you both to resume your training with Ronal, she just wasn’t overly fond of the idea.

Ronal let it go the first few times you gagged at the smell of the oysters before she sighed. “Have you mated recently?” She asked without looking at you.

Your eyes bugged at the question. “Why do you ask?” You replied and stopped shucking to look over at her.

“Because I am wondering if you are with child,” Ronal replied, and the knife slipped from your hand.

“What?” You asked breathlessly.

“With child,” she repeated simply. She had had two children of her own with a third on the way, and she had helped to deliver more babes than she could count. She knew the signs well and given the amount of time she had been spending with you over the last couple weeks, she could see them in you. When you didn’t answer, Ronal looked over at you, “it is a simple question. Have you mated recently?”

Your ears went back as you blushed and nodded. Ronal hummed and put the oyster she was holding and her knife down before she stood and beckoned you up. She hummed as she looked you over before she touched your forehead and then your stomach.

“Food aversion?” She asked and you nodded.

“Fatigue?” You nodded again.

“Have you bled?” You thought about it for a moment before you ears went back further. You had been so focused on fitting in and your mate you hadn’t realized.

Ronal hummed and stepped back. “I do believe you are with child,” she said before she returned to her oysters like your world hadn’t just shifted on its axis—again.

Your hands shook as you gently touched your stomach.

Pregnant.

You—

You’d be lying if you said you couldn’t be, you certainly found comfort in your mate’s arms many, many times since the relocation. But pregnant? Now? Could there be a worse time?

Slowly, you pulled your hands back and took a deep breath to clear your mind and ground yourself before you picked your knife back up and reached for another oyster.

“There are other things to do,” Ronal told you. “If the small bothers you, you will be slow. Tsireya will provide you with a different task to do.” You wanted to take her up on the offer, but you could hear Jake’s voice in your head telling you not to cause trouble and pull your weight, so you shook your head.

“I will be fine.”

She hummed but wasn’t surprised when you gagged again a moment later and she cast a look in your direction. You sighed as you nodded and moved your basket of unshucked oysters over to her, “I will find Tsireya.” If she smiled as you walked away, well, no one had to know.

Everyone was still so focused on fitting in and you could see the way looking after Lo’ak and keeping him out of trouble weighed on Neteyam, so you kept the news to yourself. If you told him, he’d only worry about you more than he already did and you didn’t want that.

And, well, it was no surprise that Ronal wasn’t fond of you. Forest People. Outcast. Alien. But knowing you were with child made Ronal soften. She didn’t look at you with the same animosity she did the others, and every time she saw you, she was sure to ask how you were doing. The Sullys were smart people, and it didn’t take Neytiri long to put two and two together and realize something was up with you, but she kept her suspicions to herself as she kept a careful eye on you.

You had always been the more affectionate one in your relationship with Neteyam, always touching him or seeking to touch him, but now you were reserved. At first, Neytiri thought you two were fighting, but Neteyam assured her you weren’t, that it was just the move and the swimming was exhausting you and the fish wasn’t agreeing with you, which was true—it just wasn’t the whole truth.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell him. You did, you just didn’t want to add to his already full plate, and then the longer you kept it a secret the harder it was to tell him. Between Kiri’s seizure and Norm coming and Lo’ak and Neteyam’s fight with Ao’nung and Payakan and the Tulkun, there just wasn’t a good time to tell him.

It was only after yet another dinner you couldn’t keep down that the truth finally came to light.

“You are unwell,” Neteyam said as he followed you toward your hut. It was the third time this week and he was tired of you constantly brushing it, and him, off.

“I’m fine, Neteyam,” you sighed. “It’s just—”

“The move? The fish?” He repeated your words back to you. “No, I don’t believe you. Have you spoken to Ronal? She is Tsahìk and she could help you.”

You hesitated before you turned back to look at him with tight lips before you sighed and took his hand. He gave you a concerned look as you guided him down to the beach where you could have some privacy. “Ronal can’t help me,” you said as you turned to face and gently fiddled with his fingers. “Because I am not sick.”

“It is just us, my mate, you never need lie to me,” he replied softly and used his free hand to cup your cheek.

“I’m not lying, ‘Teyam,” you breathed and covered his hand with yours before you guided it down to your stomach. “I’m not sick, I’m with child.”

Neteyam froze as he let your words sink in before he softened. “You are with child?” He whispered and stepped closer to you.

You nodded, “it’s horrible timing, but—”

“But nothing,” he smiled. “This is amazing news! We’re having a baby—the first of many I hope.” You were taken by surprise when he picked you up and spun you around, completely elated.

You laughed softly as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders before you patted him. “Enough, ‘Teyam, I’ll be sick again.”

“Right, sorry, my love,” he replied and sat you down, his smile never wavering as he touched your stomach again. “I’m just really happy.”

“I am, too,” you said softly and covered his hand before you kissed him softly. He cupped the back of your head to keep you close, but you both couldn’t stop smiling so you pulled back and rested your hand on his chest, feeling the familiar, comforting beat of his heart.

Neteyam wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer by the small of your back before he rested his forehead against yours. “I would take you here and now on the beach if you let me, my mate,” he hummed.

“Anyone could see, including your parents,” you laughed.

“Then let them see,” he hummed and when he tried to kiss you again, you shoved him back, making him laugh loudly before he pulled you close again, the tips of his fingers brushing the base of your tail, knowing how sensitive it was.

“Once the sickness passes,” you told him and guided his hand back up to your back.

Neteyam softened and he nodded, “of course, my mate. May I at least hold you tonight?”

“I’d expect nothing else,” you smiled and let him lead you back toward your hut. Once Neteyam closed the flap, you rid yourself of your top—another sign of your growing baby was how swollen and sensitive your breasts had become and the weight of the beads irritated you in a way they never had before.

Neteyam groaned low in his throat as he knelt on the bed, “are you sure you don’t want me to pleasure you, my mate?” He asked softly.

“Maybe tomorrow,” you laughed and pulled him down next to you and you laughed when his hand managed to find your breast after he settled behind you. He didn’t try to do more than hold your breast while his other hand rested on your stomach, so you let him as you pressed yourself back against him.

The reef wasn’t the Forest, but it was nice and welcoming and you could see you two raising your children along the blue water and sandy beaches. Neteyam’s tail curled around your ankle and you smiled as you tried to press yourself closer to him. You could feel him smile into your neck and it was easy to fall asleep.

He was your everything.

This family was your everything.

And if you knew what would happen next, you would have fought sleep to soak in the feeling of his arms one last time. You would have memorized the beating of his heart and the rise and fall of his chest. You would have traced every dark line that decorated his body. You would have held him a little longer.

You wouldn’t have taken the moment for granted, expecting thousands more in the coming years.

But you didn’t know what would happen so you didn’t, and the ache of regret would eat at you for the rest of your days.

The bond… it’s a beautiful thing.

Until it isn’t.

--

The village was devastated by the hunting of the Tulkun by the Sky People. They were their spirit brothers and sisters, and Jake didn’t have to say it for you to know it happened because you were here. They weren’t hunting the Tulkun, they were hunting you. When Jake took the tracker from Neteyam, you took his hand and he tried to reassure you as he squeezed your hand.

“You tell the Tulkun if they’re hit by one of these, they’re marked for death.”

Jake’s words hung heavy in the air. Neteyam gave you a look that told you everything would be okay, but your stomach still twisted. You came to the Metkayina to hide; to keep your people safe. You promised them you were done with war, but the war still followed you—and at the cost of their spirit siblings.

And because nothing ever came easy, Lo’ak was determined to warn Payakan himself. Neteyam followed Lo’ak, knowing his brother better than anyone and his suspicions were confirmed when he saw Lo’ak gathering a saddle for an ilu.

He shook his head, a frustrated smile on his lips, “no way, you’re not going, baby brother.”

Lo’ak wasn’t having any of it. “I have to warn Payakan,” he told his brother firmly.

“No. You have to keep your skxawng ass here,” Neteyam replied, gritting his teeth. For once, could he just listen to him.

But Lo’ak never did. “He’s outcast. There’s no one to warn him but me.”

Neteyam shook his head as he clenched his fist. “Bro, why do you always have to make things so hard?” Neteyam said exasperated as he touched the top of Lo’ak’s’ head, but Lo’ak quickly shoved him off as his eyes hardened.

“No. You mean why can’t I be the perfect son like you, a perfect little soldier. Well, I’m not you, okay? I’m not you. He’s my brother. I’m going.” Neteyam clenched his jaw as he stepped back, his brother’s words cutting him like a knife. If he only knew the weight of his words, but he didn’t and he never would as Neteyam swallowed back the bitter words threatening to spill out and he steeled himself as stepped closer to his brother.

“Oh, he’s your brother? No, I’m your brother,” his voice was hard as he stared Lo’ak down, but Lo’ak didn’t concede and he scoffed before he dove in the water, heading for Payakan and Neteyam knew he had to go after him.

“Neteyam!” You called as you came up behind him and he shook his head.

“He’s going to Payakan,” he told you and you were hot on his heels as he summoned his ilu, as were Tsireya, Kiri, Tuk, Ao’nung and Rotxo. But when you went to summon your own ilu, Neteyam put his hand on your stomach to keep you back. “I need you here where you’re safe,” he told you but you shook his head.

“I’m going, Neteyam.” He opened his mouth to argue, but your look silenced him. Wherever your mate went, you would follow.

His tail flicked as he clenched his jaw before he nodded. “With me then,” he said before he dove into the water and you followed his lead. You quickly settled behind him on his ilu and wrapped your hand around his waist while he held onto the reigns of the ilu with one hand, his other hand reaching back to hold your thigh, keeping you against him as he followed after Lo’ak to Payakan.

By the time you got to Payakan, Lo’ak was struggling against the red tracker buried in Payakan’s back while the others tried to help. You and Neteyam were quick to jump on and help, but the tracker was in deep and you realized quickly that the demon ship was rapidly approaching.

“Call dad,” Neteyam said to Lo’ak. “Just do it.”

He didn’t want to, he knew the trouble he’d be in, so he hesitated before he called Jake. Lo’ak’s words were muffled as you all focused on the tracker. Your heart raced as you kept glancing between it and the demon ship. “Come on, come on, come on,” you said as Neteyam tossed a rope up to Ao’nung who wrapped one end around the tracker while Neteyam wrapped the other end around the reigns of his ilu.

“Please, Eywa, please,” you whispered as you pulled and pulled and finally the tracker gave, and you all fell at the release of tension. Neteyam was quick to gather the tracker as Lo’ak told Payakan to go.

“Go, I’ll draw them away,” Neteyam told you, making your blood go cold. When you opened your mouth to argue, Neteyam shook his head. They were after the tracker and Neteyam couldn’t have it anywhere near you, your baby, or his siblings. “Take Tuk, I’ll see you after.”

You had no choice but to nod and you gathered Tuk and Kiri on Kiri’s ilu and led them into the seaweed for cover, but the submarines followed you. Your mind raced as quickly as your heart as your ilu weaved between plants and leaves, desperate for any cover, but there wasn’t any to be had. There was too many of them.

The submarines swarmed you, forcing you off the ilu and you kept your eyes on Tuk as you swam toward an air pocket, Lo’ak and Tsireya right behind you while Kiri ended up with Ao’nung and Rotxo. “They’re coming,” Tsireya said and you were all quick to dive back under, but it was useless. The submarines could move faster than you could swim.

It was over when they launched the net at you. You didn’t realize it was coming until it was too late, the net already surrounding you and the air left your lungs as you began to panic. Lo’ak managed to escape before it caught him and he pulled at the net trying to rescue you, Tuk and Tsireya, but it was no use. The net scooped you up and dropped you on board the demon ship. Your vision swam as you tried to catch your breath, your lungs burning, and before you knew it, you were bound to the demon ship’s rail.

You watched as Tuk, Tsireya and Lo’ak struggled against the bonds but you knew it pointless. You were stuck. You were stuck and your mate was somewhere out there. You felt useless as the Metkayina attacked the demon ship. When you came and begged for sanctuary, you had promised them there would be no more war and now the war was here and they’d die because of your family.

You looked Tuk and your heart sank at the terror in her eyes, and you were so focused on Tuk you didn’t notice Payakan until he was on top of you, desperate to save Lo’ak.

All hell broke loose after that.

“Don’t watch,” you told Tuk. “Keep your eyes on me, okay?” Neteyam had always been her favourite family member, but you were a close second given you were his mate. Her cheeks were wet with tears as she nodded. “Just keep your eyes on me, Tuk,” you repeated.

It was only when Neteyam jumped on board that you were finally able to take a deep breath. A smile played on his lips as he cut your bounds, then Tuk’s, then Tsireya’s before he reached his brother and cut him free. “Who’s the might warrior? Come on, say it,” he grinned as he touched Lo’ak’s head before he turned back to you.

“Bro,” Lo’ak smiled and reached for a gun while Neteyam had his back to him.

“Go, get out of here. Take Tuk. Go,” Neteyam said to you.

“Neteyam—” you tried but he shook his head.

“Go,” he repeated, begging you to listen to him, and you clenched your jaw as you tried to lead Tuk away, and Neteyam kept his eyes on you, desperate to make sure you and Tuk were safe. But when he heard the familiar click of a gun, he turned back to his brother.

“We have to go,” he said but Lo’ak shook his head.

“He has Spider. Come on, bro, we can’t lose him,” Lo’ak said and headed into the ship.

Neteyam protested under his breath before he followed after his brother. Lo’ak always had to make things difficult.

At the same time, they managed to grab Kiri. Tuk’s scream for her sister would forever be imprinted in your memory, but you had to get her to safety. Jake and Neytiri would get Kiri.

Except, Tuk fought your hold on her before she slipped free and headed back for the ship. “Sullys stick together,” she said and you grumbled under your breath before you abandoned your ilu and headed after her, needing to keep her safe.

“This isn’t a good idea, Tuk,” you whisper shouted at her, but she ignored you, desperate to save Kiri, and you were sure to be quiet as you followed her.

“Kiri!” She called when she saw her sister, slipping under the bars as you both tried to break Kiri’s bonds, but it was no use and an Avatar was quick to bind Tuk to the rail next to Kiri before shoving you back into the water. Your heart sank and you wanted nothing more than to jump up and fight and rescue them and keep them safe, but when the bullets hit the water, you knew it wasn’t an option and you called to a nearby ilu and quickly jumped on. You’d have to find another way to rescue them and you circled the water looking for any sign of your mate and Lo’ak.

You were granted a moment of relief when you saw Tsireya, but it was short lived as you realized she was alone and your heart sank. Tsireya pulled her ilu up beside yours and pursed her lips as she shook her head. Neteyam and Lo’ak had to still be on board.

Your heart twisted before a flash of cold went through your body and you gasped for breath under the water, the air bubbling around you as Lo’ak, Spider and Neteyam jumped into the water above you, bullets still raining around you.

No.

No.

You knew it. Before he could even say it, you knew, the freezing cold blooming in your chest that left you gasping for air as you resurfaced in the water.

“That was insane, cous,” the voice was muffled in your ears.

“Neteyam,” you breathed and reached out to him.

“You skxawng, I’ve been shot.”

Panic coursed through your veins and you swore you didn’t breathe as you wrapped your arm around him to keep his head above the water, the normally clear water stained red with his blood. Too much blood.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” you said to both him and yourself, even as the ice in your chest melted to a sharp ache that shot down your arm and Neteyam’s expression twisted in pain.

The panic in Lo’ak’s eyes mirrored your own as he helped you get Neteyam onto the ilu before he pulled you on too. “Shit,” he hissed under his breath. Neteyam was a mighty warrior, the best of his age, but he was weak in his arms.

“They have Kiri and Tuk,” Tsireya tried to tell him, but the words never really processed for him.

“We can’t go back,” he replied and raced for the rocks, Tsireya and Spider holding on to the side if the ilu’s reigns. You kept your hand pressed against Neteyam’s chest as you moved through the water and his hand gripped your wrist tightly, needing to hold on to you, needing to anchor himself to you.

It only took a minute to get to the rocks, but it felt like hours. Lo’ak helped you carry Neteyam as he gritted his teeth in pain. Your chest felt tighter with every passing second and you didn’t know if it was your own anxiety, or your mate slipping through your fingers.

Your hands shook as you moved around him and your ears started to ring as you rolled him onto his side. The shot was clean through.

“It’s almost always better for the bullet to be clean through.” You could hear Jake’s voice in your head and you laid him back and put pressure on his chest as you begged Eywa to help you.

It was almost always better.

Almost.

Neteyam’s hands were coated in his own blood and he looked up at you with wide, terrified eyes before he grasped your bicep, his grip nowhere near as strong as it was when he held your wrist.

“You’re okay, you’re going to be okay,” you told him, willing your voice not to shake so you could be strong for your mate. He breathed your name before he scrunched his face up like he was trying to get away from the pain. “You’re going to be okay,” you repeated before pulling your eyes away from his as Jake and Neytiri settled around you.

“No, no, no,” Jake whispered as he perched across from you.

“Clean through,” you told him before he could ask, your ears back and hands red with Neteyam’s blood, and your heart dropped at the way his ears went back. “No,” you whispered, unable to muster your voice any louder before you looked back at your mate. He had to be okay.

He had to.  

“You’ll be okay,” Neteyam told you as he struggled to force air into his lungs.

The ache in your chest began to ease to a fuzzy feeling and you shook your head. “No, no, Neteyam.” You couldn’t lose him. You couldn’t. You wouldn’t survive it.

“You’ll both be okay,” he breathed, his voice softer than a whisper as he dropped his hand to your stomach.

“I see you; I love you,” you told him, desperately trying not to cry and you pulled one of your hands from his chest to cup his jaw, your thumb tracing the dark line that decorated the arch of his cheek.

“I know, I—”

Neteyam never finished his sentence and his hand dropped from your stomach, leaving a bloody handprint in its wake.

You felt the moment he died.

The warmth, the comfort, the unmistakable feeling of him, fizzled out, replaced instead with an unshakeable feeling of emptiness.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

You were supposed to spend your life with him.

It was supposed to be you and him.

You and him.

You were lightheaded as you settled back on your haunches, your hands red with his blood and Lo’ak caught you as you swayed.

Numb.

The only way to describe the feeling was numb, like he had taken your soul with him when he died, leaving nothing but an empty shell in his wake.

And maybe he had.

The bond is beautiful, that’s what they tell you. But they never tell you of the anguish that comes with it.

You could separate your life into before Neteyam and after Neteyam. The before wasn’t important, it didn’t matter, because Neteyam was your world. He was your everything, your world spun on an axis of you and him. The People say you’re born twice, once when you are born and then again when you find your place among the people, and you were born again the day Neteyam chose you. And now all that was left of your mate was his bloody handprint and the world had the audacity to keep on spinning.

The ringing in your ears drowned out Neytiri’s blood curling scream for her first-born son, and you slouched into Lo’ak as you kept your eyes on Neteyam’s. His beautiful, golden, lifeless eyes.

You didn’t hear Jake ask Lo’ak where his sisters were. You didn’t hear Tsireya tell him they were on the ship. You didn’t hear Spider tell him to follow him. And you certainly didn’t hear Jake tell Lo’ak to stay and that he had done enough. You didn’t hear any of it as you kept looking at your mate, unable to pull your eyes away, no matter how painful it was.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

You only heard Lo’ak tell Tsireya he was going because he pulled back from you, jostling you enough to pull you from your trance to steady yourself. “Lo’ak, no,” she replied desperately, but there was no stopping him as he dove back into the water, leaving you alone with her and your mate’s dead body.

You didn’t know how long you two sat there in the silence, it could have been seconds or minutes or hours, before Tsireya broke it. “We should wash your hands,” she said softly.

You curled your hands into fists. You didn’t want to. Washing the blood off meant losing the only tangible part of your mate you had left. But you knew she was right, so you nodded and you moved on autopilot as she led you to the edge of the water. Your gaze was blank as she washed Neteyam’s blood off your hands, but you drew the line when she reached for your stomach.

“No,” you said sharply and gripped her wrist before she could touch you. Her ears went back as she nodded before she took your hand in hers as you sat back on the rock.  

You felt both empty and heavy at the same time as you sat there before Tsireya found her voice again. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, unsure of what else to say.

Your ears went back as you nodded, not trusting your voice. You opened and closed your mouth a few times before you looked over at her. “You and Lo’ak deserve better,” you whispered and touched your stomach, desperate to remind yourself of something worth living for.

Her ears went back even further as her shoulders dropped, but she followed your hand with her eyes. “He—” she started before she stopped herself. “Are you?” She asked instead.

You nodded again before you looked over at her with tears streaming down your cheeks. “I can’t do this on my own. I can’t do this without him.”

Her shoulders dropped as her ears went back again. She couldn’t imagine what you were feeling. “You won’t do this alone,” she told you softly. “You have the village behind you.”

You knew she only meant to comfort you, but her words only reminded you that Neteyam would never meet his child. “But I need him,” you whispered before you pulled your hand from her and pushed yourself away from the water’s edge.

Your heart broke all over again as you looked at your mate, laying there lifelessly, blood staining his beautiful blue skin. His eyes were still open as they stared at the sky above—at nothing. You couldn’t help the sob that escaped you as you looked at him before you reached out and softly closed his eyes. He’d look like he was sleeping, if not for all the blood.

But despite all the blood, you laid down next to him and gently put your head on his chest as you curled into him, your tail wrapping around his ankle.

His chest was silent and still and you wept into him, begging Eywa to give him back.

But she didn’t.

His chest never rose, his heart never beat, his skin never warmed, and his eys never opened.

He was gone.

Your beautiful mate was gone and there was nothing you could do to get him back.

--

The funeral was harder than you expected, having to say goodbye to his body as you, Jake and Neytiri lowered his body down to the Cove of the Ancestors. You knew that he was gone, that your mate was gone, that it was just a shell of his being, but you still wept, your tears burning your eyes more than the salt ever did.

Your lungs burnt as the air left you as you watched as the cove took his body, wrapping around him as it slowly consumed him, and just like that, he was gone, a piece of the ocean.

The way of water has no beginning and no end. The sea is around you and in you. The sea is your home, before your birth and after your death.

The first thing anyone heard when you resurfaced was your sob and you let Neytiri hug you as you sobbed into her shoulder. “My child,” she whispered as she held you close.

“It’s not fair,” you managed to get out between sobs.

“I know,” she whispered, her heart just as broken as yours.

Eywa holds all her children in her heart, but all you wanted was to hold him in your arms.

--

And if you thought the funeral was hard, visiting the Spirit Tree was even harder. Jake and Neytiri had gone soon after the funeral but took you days to get the courage to visit, to visit Neteyam.

Your tears disappeared into the salt water as you held your braid in your hand. Your heart ached in your chest, but slowly you let your tendrils connect with the Spirit Tree.

At first, all you felt was warmth as white consumed your vision, but then you were filled with the familiar view of the Forest, of your home. You smiled to yourself as you looked around, and just like that, Neteyam slipped out from between the trees, his battle belt and ikran eyewear on and your eyes watered as you looked at him, every bit the man you loved.

“Neteyam?” You asked and he smiled as he came around you, his tail wrapping around yours in a way he knew comforted you.

“Why are you crying, my mate?” He asked concerned he reached out to cup your jaw.

“I’m just happy to see you,” you told him breathlessly and you committed his smile to memory.

“I’m happy to see you, too, my mate,” he replied and you trailed your eyes over every mark on his body as your heart wept.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

Neteyam was your everything, your best friend, your lover, your mate, the father of your child.

From the moment his braid meant yours, you felt him. You felt him in a way no one else could and no one else would. You felt his being. And too soon you had felt him go.

Memories of you two as children, growing up, becoming teenagers, and falling in love, flashed before your eyes and you took water into your lungs as you sobbed, forcing yourself to pull back from the spirit tree and returned to the surface, one hand treading water as you held your stomach with the other.

A boy, you thought suddenly, the Tsahìk abilities you had been training for finally showing themselves. You were having a boy.

The bond is a beautiful thing, but it’s also the most painful thing you ever experienced, the beginning and end of everything, of all that you are.

#neteyam #neteyam imagine #neteyam x reader #avatar #avatar the way of water #avatar twow #avatar twow spoilers #avatar spoilers #avatar imagine #avatar the way of water imagine #avatar twow imagine #avatar smut #avatar the way of water smut #avatar twow smut #neteyam smut #mine #i really dont know if posting this was a good idea but umm yeah throwing this into the abyss #if this flops i might just delete it lmao

[decaffinated-dreams]

yes its been five years but i am not over emma hallucinating that she severed all parabatai bonds while coming back from thule, just to turn and see jem bleeding as he asks "emma, emma how could you?" i mean WHAT a perfect scene to show how powerful the parabatai bond is. throughout tda the bond becomes an antagonist as julian and emma struggle against it, and its hard to remember that its actually a beautiful way to connect two souls. one of my favorite parts of the shadowhunters books is how cassie shows how powerful and overwhelming platonic love can be, and will and jem are the embodiment of that. the bond isnt just a symbol of their love but the physical manifestation of its endurance, and thats why the seelie queens proposal to break all bonds is so tragic. to take away that kind of connection is sacrilege, even at the cost of romantic love. one is not greater than the other, and thats one of the subtle but beautifully written themes threading through tda.

#i miss jem and will #they were such a great love story and it didnt need to be a romantic one #shadowhunters #cassandra clare #queen of air and darkness #lady midnight #lord of shadows #parabatai #dark artifices #infernal devices #will herondale #jem carstairs #emma carstairs #julian blackthorn

[wikitpowers]

blackstairs is such an amazing ship idc what anyone says (still mind-blowing that someone can dislike them fr wtf)

i'm a SUCKER for friends-to-lovers (more like parabatai-to-lovers in this case, but u know what i mean...) and i love that trope so badly and it fit them so well ahhhh

and the slow burn and mutual pining just made their relationship even more intense and interesting (not to mention the forbidden romance hello?!?)

every single scene of theirs is immaculate idfc

artists: @oblivionsdream, @ella_j.osse, @gatovtina + @polarts_

#sorry their dance in lady midnight?!@OKW #OR THE EMMA HEALING JULIAN SCENE #cottage kiss.......... [sigh] #try to convince me that shit ain't iconic #i dare u #(spoiler: u can't) #they're so in love and care about eachother so deeply #my heart ACHED when they thought they couldn't be together #and they both love the blackthorn kiddos so badly :( #i want to see them happy and sickeningly in love in twp #okay writing this post made me really wanna reread tda bc of THEM #(and kitty ofc but wbk) #hmmmmmmm #emma carstairs #julian blackthorn #emma x julian #blackstairs #the dark artifices #the wicked powers #tda #twp #tsc

[thelostgirl21]

Okay, so I've just noticed something, and now I've got a ask...

Could it be possible for Magnus Bane - as a Warlock whose father used to be a Fallen Angel - to be able to use a stele to draw runes on Alec's body?

Because yeah, beyond the fact that Alec hasn't been seen with a flexibility rune drawn anywhere on his body before he started dating Magnus...

WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD HE PLACE IT ON AN AREA OF HIS BODY THAT WOULD REQUIRE AN INSANE AMOUNT OF FLEXIBILITY FOR HIM TO BE ABLE TO REACH IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?!

Unless you happen to be a contortionist, and/or have extremely hyper-mobile shoulder joints, please do me a favor and try attempting to draw or trace anything there using either your right of your left hand. See what I mean?

Once you've got that flexibility rune activated, perhaps it would be relatively comfortable to do so.

But without it?! It's like one the worst possible spots one could think of using to put it!

Jace's flexibility rune has been put somewhere stylishly practical that's easily within reach for him, at the very least.

But Alec's?!

I can only think of two explanations for this:

Magnus is the one that drew the rune there himself.

Someone else - most likely Jace - did it for him.

And I can't tell which one is my favorite!

Because, while part of me can't help but think how incredibly cool it would be for Magnus to be able to draw and activate runes on Alec's body...

I kinda love the idea that, at some point, right before Alec was going to head back to Magnus' loft, Jace just decided to grab his stele, lift Alec's shirt, and start drawing something on his left shoulder blade!

Alec: [Trying to wiggle his shoulder out of Jace's grasp, and bring his shirt back down.] Jace! What the Hell are you doing?

Jace: [Trying to force his parabatai to stand still.] Just relax and stop moving, alright?! Trust me about this, you'll thank me later!

Alec: [Reluctantly does as he's told, trying to ignore the stinging sensation.] I've still got a feeling I'm going to regret this.

Jace: [Laughs, as he finishes drawing the new rune.] Oh no, you won't! You're going to love this tonight, and so will Magnus!

Alec: WHAT?!

Jace: [Smugly pushes Alec's shirt back down, and gives him two small pats on the shoulder.] There. All done! It should have a stronger effect and last longer, too, since I'm the one that drew it!

Alec: [Turns towards his parabatai, eyeing him carefully.] Jace, what rune was that?

Jace: [Shrugs.] Flexibility. Oh! [Starts fumbling with the edge of Alec's shirt again, at the front this time, looking for something.] Where'd you put that stamina one again? I know it's around here somewhere...

Alec: [Glares incredulously at Jace but, to his own surprise and against his better judgment, doesn't attempt to stop him.] Seriously?!

Jace: [Triumphantly] Ah! There it is! [Activates the stamina rune, before letting go of Alec's shirt, stepping back, removing his own, and handing his stele to Alec.] Say, would you mind activating mine, too? I've got a group reading at the Book Club tonight that will probably end up late.

Alec: [Sighs and rolls his eyes, grabbing the stele to start activating the same runes on Jace's body.] You're impossible...

Jace: I think you mean caring, thoughtful, and the best parabatai in the whole Shadow World that's looking out for his big brother!

Alec: Uh-huh... [Still pretends to be annoyed, but there's a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he finishes to trace the stamina rune.] How large is that group reading tonight, by the way? Want me to activate the endurance and agility ones, too, while I'm at it?

Jace: [Beams back at him.] Okay, you win. You're the best parabatai.

I'm also amused at the thought of Jace or Izzy just discreetly walking behind Alec to activate that large "calm anger" rune through his clothes whenever he's having to deal with some idiot from the Clave, and they notice his patience is just about to snap!

Still, that "calm anger" be a rune that someone else drew there, and that's typically activated by another Shadowhunter, is something I can deal with just fine!

But FLEXIBIILTY?!?!?! How?! Why?! How?!

"I have a flexibility rune, but I'm not flexible enough to use it myself!"

Good job, Alec!

#Alec Lightwood #Jace Herondale #Magnus Bane #Shadowhunters #Malec #Alexander Lightwood #Jace Lightwood #Jace Wayland #Jace #Just Jace #Parabatai #Shenanigans #Flexibility Rune #Placement #My Thoughts #My Posts

[alexanderlightweight]

Hi! I’m a long time reader for both you and saeth and joined tumblr so I could read more of your works. I’m hoping this is the correct way to submit a prompt and if not please ignore!

I would love to see more scheming Alec. Maybe he sees magnus come to the institute to update the wards as a kid and he knew that this is his One Love (which is rare for nephilim hence political marriages). so Alec plots to meet Magnus and/or convince magnus to keep him

Thank you for all your lovely works!

thats really sweet! and this was fine, you did great and actually this is the kick off to a new verse because i have another 3-5 asks abouts manipulative/scheming alec as well. it's called the craft of adoration

i hope you enjoy!

lumine

-

“Are you alright?” Jace asks and Alec nods, ignoring Jace in a way he rarely does before shooing him along.

“I’m fine, just paperwork.” Alec says and he gives the grimace he always tries to hide when Maryse is giving him extra work. Jace relaxes at the normal byplay and Alec watches him leave carefully and then he turns, breathless.

Alec knew that his parents wanted them out of the Institute because the High Warlock of Brooklyn was coming over, but while he was fine if not a little annoyed at their instructions before, he’s now livid.

Alec could have missed seeing and realizing the most perfect being in the universe already existed.

Magnus Bane is everything Alec’s never let himself desire or dream of and standing there, standing up to Alec’s mom, he’s the only person Alec can ever imagine wanting.

Maryse is biting out vitriol and Magnus Bane is matching her barb for barb, a dark, pointed smirk on his face as he lays Alec’s mother bare to the world with only his words.

Unlike Maryse, his tone remains even and cool and even when he raises it, it never becomes the yell that Robert's voice does.

Alec carefully remembers his words and where he wounds Maryse, and he holds his breathe and leaves. He refuses to let Magnus meet him like this. Alec is fifteen, he’s practically a child compared to a High Warlock and he has nothing impressive to his name.

It’s with renewed passion that Alec returns to his studies and the next time Izzy and Jace try to goad him into letting them get away with anything, he thinks of brown eyes that flash gold and shakes his head.

It’s not difficult to manipulate Robert, now that Alec knows what to look for. It’s almost worse, realizing that Robert is expecting Alec to help him hide his affair, not that Alec is going to blackmail him.

“I don’t want the Lightwood name.” Alec says again, for the third time since he’s sat down with Robert. “I’ll be the Trueblood heir, but I won’t be the Lightwood heir.” Alec smirks, “you can have Jace or Izzy be your heir, you don’t need me.”

The Lightwood name is more heavily tarnished than Alec realized at first and while Alec won’t hide who his parents are, he’ll change his last name if it means ensuring Magnus at least looks twice at him.

The separation is quiet and Maryse is contemplative in the months that follow but Alec doesn’t worry about it, too focused on forging connections with other young and political nephilim. He’s back and forth between New York and Idris a ridiculous amount, but it’s worth it. 

Alec is known and knows all the heirs of the next families and the Institutes. Perhaps he doesn’t have friends, but he doesn’t need those just yet, not when he might have to get rid of them if they interfered.

Alec is impatient and he knows he is. He only saw Magnus back then for a few minutes but Alec knows his heart and it’s may not love at first sight, but Magnus is the only one Alec’s heart will ever beat for.

Alec uses that impatience to build his reputation and his skills and as a reason to gently let Jace down when his brother hopes to become parabatai.  Alec won’t take any chances with Magnus not being interested.

Alec gets tall and he gets strong and he focuses on knowing as much as he can because whatever Magnus needs or wants, Alec is going to ensure he achieves it.

There is not room for failure on his list and it’s not an accident that during Alec’s evaluation, Camille Belcourt is caught breaking the accords. The new leader is Raphael Santiago and Alec introduces himself casually, with a politeness that he doesn’t even give the clave. It’s easy enough when Alec remembers that this will be important to Magnus. That Camille is no longer a threat and that someday, Alec can offer her eternally preserved heart that rests in a chest in Alec’s room.  A present for whenever he finally sees Magnus again.

#lumine writes #writing wednesday #writing wednesdays #the craft of adoration #malec #shadowhunters #magnus bane #alec lightwood

[d4rkshad0w]

Im glad that Ty and Livvy weren’t parabatai,

listen to me first please, although Livvy wanted to be parabatai so bad and i wanted it too, i’m very glad that Ty wanted to go to the scholomance and didn’t become parabatai with Livvy because if they were parabatai Ty would be hurting wayyyyy more from her death because of their soul bond, he still did hurt a lot from losing his twin but it was better that they weren’t because he would have felt her die, he would have felt her pain, he would never be the same again— i mean he’s still won’t be the same even if they weren’t parabatai but at least he wouldn’t be missing a literal peice of his soul (which i think that’s what happens when you lose a parabatai) also there’s various parts in the books where it explain how horrible it is to lose a parabatai, there’s a certain line i want to writer but i don’t remember it but there’s a lot especially in Clockwork Princess with Jem and Will

so it’s a good thing that they weren’t parabatai, for Ty’s sake

#livvy blackthorn #ty blackthorn #the dark artifices #lord of shadows #lady midnight #the shadowhunter chronicles #tsc #parabatai

[spacehero-23]

The Last Hours would have been much more fun if the James/Matthew/Cordelia “love triange” was replaced with the Shawn/Cory/Topanga dynamic from boy meets world:

James: Look at you two! My favorite person in the world! And my wife!

Cordelia: My whole life…

Cordelia: What do you mean you’re mad at James? You love him more than I do!

Alastair: *side eye*

Cordelia: It’s true but I’m ok with it.

*at their wedding*

Matthew: Do you really like her?

James: Yeah, I do.

Matthew: Are you sure?

Cordelia: Matthew? I really think I’ve been very tolerant here. 

Matthew: *crying* We have to say goodbye for an hour!

Cordelia: Guys, it’s only a couple of weeks.

James: *crying* No, no, no.  Math, I was doing it quick because I thought you wanted to do it quick!

Cordelia: I want a divorce.

Cordelia: You never carry my books.

James: *looks at Matthew* Well, look at him!

Matthew: You’re my friend Daisy. You’re one of the two best people I know.

Cordelia: Who’s first?

Matthew: He is. But, you and I are the best two things in his life.

Cordelia: Who’s first?

Matthew: You are.

And the main drama between them could’ve been about who should be the most important person in james’ life, his wife, or his parabatai. Or maybe they wouldn't have any drama at all and instead cc could focus on the many side characters she created and then sidelined.

#the last hours #tlh #cassandra clare #shadowhunters #the shadowhunter chronicles #tsc #james herondale #cordelia carstairs #matthew fairchild #chain of thorns #chain of gold #chain of iron #herondaisy #heronchild #jordelia #boy meets world

[foodsies4me]

Chairman when he find out the Clave was being mean to his fav SH

This prompt and a discussion I had with @just-add-butter are to blame for this (Apollo-universe) ficlet. Does it work in the timeline? Possibly not. Do I care? Absolutely not!

Three times Chairman Meow almost revealed he wasn't just a housecat and the one time he didn't even try to keep up the act.

One - Magnus POV

Magnus internally rolls his eyes when Blondie opens his mouth to - unsurprisingly - repeat what Biscuit just said, only reworded in a way that's somehow even more insulting than Clarissa's had been. Magnus is almost impressed by it. Or he would be if he could muster up any kind of goodwill for the man. Still, for someone lauded as the best of his time, Jace is painfully predictable. At least in his actions and words if not his fighting. Or, Magnus hopes his fighting style isn't as predictable as everything else about him is - if only to spare Alexander the pain of losing his parabatai to his own stupidity. A small chirp draws his attention away from Jace and Clary's impassioned diatribe detailing why he should help them with their latest mess and toward Chairman Meow. His daemon is sitting on one of the tall beams, his body mostly hidden in the shadows as he looks at him with his bright green eyes. His tail swishes in annoyance, his eyes gliding over to the two shadowhunters only for a decidedly unfeline-like smirk to appear on his lips. Chairman Meow begins his act with a single meow. A soft mewl that is barely audible over Biscuit and Blondie's voices. The sound quickly turns into a wail though, his voice going up and down in the same cadence as Blondie's agitated speaking. Magnus suppresses an amused smile when Chairman Meow pushes the act yet another step further. The wail turns into a sonata when Chairman Meow starts to move around the beams, the sounds echoing around the room and starting to drown out Jace's voice. When Clarissa tries to say something he switches to a higher pitch, something closer to Clarissa's voice and Magnus is forced to hide a laugh behind a cough. "What the fuck's up with that cat!" Blondie grouches after another few minutes of Chairman's caterwauling, lasting a full minute longer than Magnus expected him to. Hearing that same sentence echoed around the room in Chairman Meow's familiar mewling growl is nearly his undoing. Magnus forces the laugh down with an easy smile and a few hasty promises that promise nothing before he's leading Blondie and Biscuit along with their daemons back out of Pandemonium before they realize what's happening. "I don't remember sassy being a trait common to household cats," Magnus teases when Chairman Meow lands on the ground to twine around his legs. "But that was an Oscar-worthy rendition, my little mouse." Chairman Meow gives him another smug grin, the magic under his skin crackling like fire before it disappears again leaving the innocent-looking tabby cat, with the innocent-sounding voice. "Meow."

Two - Max POV

Max doesn't like Mister Panghorn. He doesn't like him from the moment Panghorn arrives, because that's when Panghorn decides to snuff Alec in front of everyone and act like he's better just because he's a Clave Envoy. Minty doesn't like him either. Not even Aloysius and Sunny like him and they like everyone. So it's clearly Mister Panghorn's fault that Max doesn't like him and Max should be allowed to pull a prank on him without getting Alec in trouble. Except Max can't because Mister Panghorn is here with the other Clave Envoys for an "internal audit" to "ensure" Alec is "fit for leadership". "Maybe they should check if they're fit to have runes," Tony had snorted under his breath and while he did get scolded for it by Thornhill, they all gave him a high five for it after practice. Max doesn't like Panghorn. And he certainly doesn't trust Panghorn; None of them do. It's why they all keep an eye on him, why Aloysius keeps "accidentally" bumping into his side because nobody expects Ally to do that on purpose. Why Rara and Steph have had more questions in the past three days that only Alec can answer than they usually have in a week. And why Max has been biting on his tongue and clenching his fists to stop himself from pulling a prank on Panghorn because he deserves to be pranked. Max didn't realize they weren't the only ones keeping an eye on Panghorn. But then he hears Chairman Meow let out a low threatening hiss, his eyes annoyed and angry while glaring straight at Panghorn. He's pacing in the shadows, observing and calculating before his eyes brighten in a way Max is very, very familiar with. Chairman Meow is planning something. Planning a prank. Minty makes an excited noise that Max quickly shushes so nobody notices what they just did. Because that's when Chairman Meow jumps out of the shadows, his eyes still laser-focused on Panghorn. He weaves through the others in the Operation's Room and jumps on the rafts. The rafts where Woodowl and Hardwood are walking with buckets full of ichor-stained water in their hands. Max sees Hardwood place one of the buckets on the passageway, just long enough to dig into his pocket to grab his ringing phone. Just long enough to swipe the bucket and have the entire bucket fall on Panghorn and Panghorn alone. Panghorn can be funny, it appears. Because Max knows he's not the only one who starts laughing when he begins to splutter. "This is an institute Envoy Panghorn," Alec tells him bluntly. "Ichor stains are part of the job." Chairman Meow is purring happily when he jumps back down from the rafters and Max uses the giggling and Panghorn's screaming as a disguise to get faster to him. "Say Chairman," Max asks when the cat bumps his head against his hand to demand scratches. "Are you really a cat?" "Meow?" Max squints his eyes. "I also use that trick you know. It doesn't work on me. But it's okay, I won't tell anyone you're not really a cat."

Three - Catarina POV

Catarina breathes out a frustrated sigh the moment she's behind closed doors. The new pediatric surgeon has been working on her last nerve since he started working at the hospital three months ago. And if he weren't moderately good at his job, she would have filed a complaint already. Plav tweets his agreement from his hiding spot, his blue feathers shimmering when he spreads them mid-dive to land on her shoulder. The rest of the staff had stopped asking about her daemon after a week or two - a month at most. They all accepted her excuses at face value: Her daemon is shy. Her daemon prefers to stay outside and fly around while she's at the hospital. The explanations had sufficed for all but Steven Andrews, who somehow felt owed an introduction to Plav. As much as Catarina loves her job, she wishes it wouldn't come with people like Andrews the way it always seems to. A tingle of magic alerts her to Magnus' arrival and after another quick look at Plav, who turns himself invisible this time around rather than hiding away, Catarina heads over to the dressing room to change out of her scrubs. Of course, Andrews has to be leaving right as she prepares to leave with Magnus. "Nurse Loss," a deceptively pleasant-sounding voice interrupts Magnus' retelling of his and Alec's date the night before. "Oh, I apologize I hadn't noticed you were with a...friend." Magnus notices the particular inflection Andrews uses on the word "friend" as clearly as she does. Catarina wonders whether it's the lack of a daemon by his side - as far as the man can tell, at least -, the being Asian, or the hot-pink streaks in his hair that match his corset-vest. Most likely, it's all three of them. "I don't want to take up too much of your time, Nurse Loss, but would I be able to speak with you privately?" The request would sound more like one if he didn't follow it up with an outstretched arm and a tilt of his head. "I apologize, Doctor Andrews," Catarina says with a tight-lipped smile, "I'm afraid we have a reservation to get to." "It will only be a few short min-ouch Get, that thing off of me!" The yelp draws the attention of the others around them, all turning to see Steven Andrews with a snarling Chairman Meow in his face who just happened to fall out of the tree right then. Catarina has seen that particular trick often enough to not be fooled by it. "Let me help," Magnus cuts in, acting the perfect knight in corseted-armor with the matching innocence of a blushing virgin. "The poor thing fell out of the tree, here - oh that looks like it might need stitches," Magnus tells him apologetically as he innocently lets the "unknown" cat go again. "Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Doctor Andrews. But we really must go now." Seeing the bewildered look on Andrews's scratched-up face shouldn't be as satisfying as it is. Chairman Meow rejoins them as soon as they turn around the corner. "I am perfectly capable of taking care of small-minded, mundane men by myself, you're aware?" Catarina asks him with a pointed look. Chairman gives her his best impression of a guileless, mundane cat when he replies. His head tilted in faked confusion and his eyes wide with feigned innocence. "Meow?"

Plus One - Alec POV

Alec is half-asleep when the front door of the loft swings open and Izzy, Jace, and Clary burst in. "Magnus we need-what the fuck is that?!" Alec opens a bleary eye, wondering what managed to make Jace hit that particular frequency since he hit puberty, only to notice Jace glaring right at Chairman Meow. Or well, Chairman Meow in his slightly larer form. "Is something the matter, Blondie?" Magnus asks as he peeks out of his apothecary. "Need a pair of glasses perhaps, given you can't seem to recognize Chairman Meow." "Uh, Magnus that's not Chairman Meow," Izzy cuts in. Her hand hovers uncertainly by her side, the handle of her whip already in her palm as she keeps a weary eye on Chairman Meow. "Is Alec under there?!" "Wait what- Magnus" "And that's enough out of you three," Magnus warns as the room goes blissfully silent. "Alexander is sleeping as you all can see, so if you don't want to risk angering Chairman Meow by waking your brother from his nap, I'd suggest you keep your noise to a minimum. Now, what did you need?" Alec hears the moment Magnus lifts the muting spell and leads all three of them to his office to discuss whatever it is his siblings need. He hears them murmur among themselves, the sound quickly fading under Chairman Meow's waves and warm fur. Alec softly dozes back into his half-asleep state, buoyed by Chairman's purrs and his warm weight that covers him from head to toe when the door to Magnus' office opens again. He hears a long, thunderous growl when two pairs of footsteps step a bit too close to the couch, a clear threat that is followed by the smell of smoke and fire as Chairman Meow breathes out in their direction. "I believe that's your signal to leave before you risk waking Alexander," Magnus tells them pleasantly, ignoring Jace's startled yelp as he not so subtly kicks them out again. "You know you don't have to protect me from my siblings, right?" Alexander mumbles into the Chairman's fur, unsure which of the two he's speaking to. He doesn't care to figure it out either because Chairman Meow is warm and Magnus' fingers find their way into his hair to brush out the tangles. The last thing he hears is a deceptively, innocent-sounding chirp that Chairman shouldn't be able to do given his size. "Meow."

#Foodsies writes #foodsies rambles #just so we're clear #the slightly bigger size as Alec calls it #is bigger than him by at least a foot or two

[tleeaves]

The art is lovely and now I'm gonna ramble because that's what I do when I care about something.

For the love of women, please PLEASE can fan artists remember to add muscle to their Shadowhunter ladies? I'll commend Bowater for cleverly giving James that sculpted and lean look without making him a beefcake (nothing against beefcakes, I'd love to hug them), but Cordelia is once again suffering from Arms And Shoulders Too Slender It's Hard To Even Imagine Her Picking Up A Sword. There is some there, yes, but artists shouldn't be afraid of giving particularly Female Main Characters weight and toned muscle. Cordelia is supposed to be nearly the same height as James as far as I can remember, and she's curvy, and full, and she wields a sword like it's second nature to her. Please explain why she looks so tiny in James' lap.

Also I'm pretty sure marriage runes are supposed to go over the heart whenever possible (thinking about Will's parabatai rune being over his heart instead -- he didn't get Tessa to draw over the scar, did he??) and... either I'm looking at the picture wrong or James' rune is not over where his heart should be.

For the matter, where are their other runes and scars?? James' Voyance rune isn't even on his hand. And I'm pretty sure he's right handed. I could have that wrong though.

Another thing: no one can ever decide what Cordelia's hair looks like and it's the funniest thing to me. This is what happens when all you do is vaguely say the colour is like fire but also like rose petals but also a flowing river of those things but also is Red (probably for redhead, but then from there I never understand where the rose petal analogy comes from considering the typical rose is a deep bloody colour -- I do acknowledge the existence of those light orange varieties though which might more closely resemble red hair). In the end, I'm glad readers can infer what they want and imagine the characters how they like.

Anyone else think James looks like he's built like a tennis player? Oddly specific, maybe, but it was a thought I had. Mostly the arms and somewhat narrow body.

James' hair is nice, his eyes are an interesting take on gold in the shadows. Bowater managed to also make him look closely related to his father, so bravo for that.

In the end, the focus is obviously on the marriage runes and not other physical aspects outside of it being clear that this is James and Cordelia. Bowater's style is very beautiful and elegant. Love the way fabric and lighting is done too. I'll add also that it is possible to be a smaller person who is slender but still strong so I mean Cordelia's not necessarily done wrong, I just interpret her appearance differently. Obviously, they're both hot and they're both attractive and I have my qualms with the series, chronicles, and author -- the fandom I am so-so on, though I'm still here, aren't I? And I'm taking the time to ramble about my thoughts on a piece of fanart -- but this is good. Gorgeous, even. Both James and Cordelia are beautiful.

#side note: am I the only one who thought cc made a mistake trying to describe james as handsome in cordelia's eyes #as opposed to matthew being the beautiful one #when there has always been a deep and aching strange beauty to james?? #james herondale #cordelia carstairs #vaguely crediting charlie bowater though it isn't like you can't find a dozen more copies of this with the credit #also yes I mercilessly picked this apart because I am still trying to find avenues to express my dissatisfaction with tlh #I search for flaws what else can I say #I am aware of it but it's hard to turn those thoughts processes off #maybe I'll write a post at some point all about the authors I once Loved that I am now deeply critical of #a lot of people would hate me for it but eh #also we all know about the marvelisation of cinema #but is it time to talk about the marvelisation of book series/worlds? #or perhaps it has a better and more book-focused name? the jkr approach? rick riordan's marvel-esque flaw? the sjm plague? the clare affair? #we'll workshop it #maybe it's the curse of middleschool-YA series and the issue of aginh readers in fandoms #and I don't mean this as discriminatory against anyone older in fandom because there is not really a limit nor should there be #for most media #but the issue of when the readers grow up amd authors try to accomodate for that -- not necessarily by making their work more adult -- #but by making MORE because there is also an influx of new fans and they want to stay relevant while retaining the old #it's a whole thing though I'd need to sit down to properly organise my thoughts to talk about it

[lawsofchaos1]

WIP Wednesday

(on a Saturday because who cares)

I have been tagged by the ever lovely @foodsies4me! And, speaking of Foodsies, if you aren't reading their two most recent WIPS - omg you are missing out. Their Daemon AU (Apollo: Blood Wars) is so twisty and delightful and full of foreshadowing for something I still can't figure out just yet, and I love that I'm still on the edge of my seat every chapter trying to guess what's coming next. Their Arranged Marriage AU (Bridges over Lakes of Salt) basically just went down my list of favorite tropes to check all of them off (Misunderstandings! Good Parabatai Jace Wayland! HoTI Alec!) and is incredible.

Anyways, a bit of of angst has been requested, so please have a little snippet from the final chapter of Laudanum:

The loft is bright, the windows flung wide to let in in the late afternoon sun, and the living room looks so completely normal that it takes Catarina three full heartbeats to turn her head towards the flung open doors to Magnus’ apothecary and understand what she’s seeing.  His heavy oak worktable has been hastily cleared, the several sheets of parchments underfoot and a shielded light-crystal wedged partly underneath the central bookcase speaking to the urgency in which it was done. Magnus sits askew, cross-legged, at the head of the table cradling Alec’s head in his lap. Alec himself is on his stomach, clearly hovering somewhere beneath full consciousness, eyes clenched shut in agony, his struggles weak and uncoordinated as small wordless noises of pain and confusion escape his mouth. Catarina catches only the barest glimpse of liquid gold eyes as Magnus bends over nearly in half, frantically trying to soothe the wounded nephilim. "Alexander-" the desperation in her best friend’s voice pierces her heart, “all shall be well, my love, I promise, just hold on, my darling, Catarina is coming - help is coming and all shall be well, I swear it, just hold on, my love, please,-" And Catarina jolts into action, berating herself already for even the momentary unforgivable pause. A bare two steps forward and she’s in the apothecary, pulling magic to her hands and taking an assessment of her patient.  Magnus doesn’t so much as look up, acknowledging her presence only with a slight change in the distressed jumble of promises and pleas as he promises Alec that help is here, he’ll be alright now, help is here. At the other side of the table is a second Shadowhunter, older than Alec - maybe in her early forties - with her hair pulled back in a complicated plait and lips pressed in a tight, white slash across her face.  The woman glances up to assess the new arrival, her muscles tensing in preparation to act until the meaning of the change in Magnus’ rambling words sinks in and she realizes precisely who Cat must be.  Twin trails run down both pale cheeks as she holds her Head’s hands to to the table, keeping him from injuring himself further. "Please," the woman begs, but Catarina has yet to stop moving.

Tagging @arialerendeair, @spiritsflame, @alexanderlightweight, and @dr-lemurr (and yes I know you only do art, but art WIPs should totally be a thing too - it's so cool to see the process!)

#lawsofchaos rambles #laudanum #shadowhunters #malec #wip wednesday

[livia-dovehallow]

I went to the Chain of Thorns tour tonight!

As promised, I saw Cassie today and wrote down her answers (paraphrased) to the questions asked to share here with you all -- and I asked her a question of my own, too!

It was a spoiler-free event, so those of you who have not finished or read any part of Chain of Thorns can read on safely :D

Question: Was it intentional that a Lightwood dies in every series? [referring to Max (TMI), Benedict (TID), Robert (TDA), Barbara (TLH)] Answer: No, it was not intentional and not planned to be that way. But there are so many Lightwoods. In retrospect, it sure looks like it, doesn't it?

Question: What was your process of creating Grace Blackthorn? Answer: Grace is a parallel of Estella from Great Expectations, as The Last Hours is a retelling of that story. I wanted a character to be an embodiment of "explanation not an excuse." I also wanted to give Estella the chance to tell things from her perspective, which is never revealed in Great Expectations. So Grace is that character who is able to display the other side of that situation through her point of view.

Question: How did you come up with the parabatai curse? Answer: It's a greek work and when I learned the meaning, I was immediately interested in exploring the power of non-romantic love. That's where the concept of parabatai came from. The curse then stemmed from expanding on what it means to be parabatai and who could and could not have one. That is where the curse came to be, and of course, how it became a focal point of TDA.

Question: How can I find a man like James Herondale? Answer: I asked myself the same question when I was younger: "Why aren't men like men in books?" I met my husband at a book club and we began sending books to one another that we liked. So my advice is to find a boy, girl, person who enjoys books, too.

Question: Who is your favorite parabatai pair? Answer: Will and Jem.

Question: Who in The Last Hours was the easiest to write? The hardest? Answer: The hardest characters to write were Grace and Matthew, as they both faced very complex problems that don't have an easy or single solution. The easiest characters to write were Cordelia and Lucie. Lucie, because she is also a writer and I very much had a passion for it the way I did when I was younger, too. Cordelia was easy to write because she was fun to write. (Bonus: The most fun to write is Magnus.)

Question: Who is your favorite character from each series? Answer: Didn't want to answer at first, but admitted the following: TID is Tessa. TLH is Lucie. TMI is Simon. No answer for TDA.

Question: Who in TLH was your favorite point of view to write from? Answer: Alastair, Thomas, and Lucie.

Question: Will we ever see Jace and Clary again in a prominent role? Answer: They will be in The Wicked Powers, but the story focuses on Ty, Dru, and Kit, so prominency will remain with them.

Question: How did you develop Ty [Blackthorn] and who was your inspiration for him? Answer: My stepbrother, who always said he looked for characters who exhibited similar characteristics as him, but it was never the same as having a character who was also autistic, and used the word, too.

Question: What made you decide to make Coredlia Iranian? Answer: I was born in Iran and Farsi was my first language. I can't speak it fluently now, but I wanted to make a character that incorporated that part of my life. To make her character and her family's characters, I had a group chat with my mother's friends, who were a bunch of 80-year-old Iranian women. They were very happy to help. Sometimes they argued amongst themselves about a question I had and who had the correct answer, and I would just sit back and watch it unfold while a little scared.

Question: Is there a plot line or detail you look back on and regret doing? Answer: THE FAMILY TREE. [She went on to explain that when she first made it, she had no intention to write any other historical book. But she got the idea for TLH while writing TDA, and suddenly the path and story she wanted to tell did not align with the already-published family tree. So basically, my theory was right and we have confirmation from CC herself that it's just a result of premature development!]

That was the last question of the night, but I saved the question I asked her myself for last! I asked her if Cecily and Gideon had official birthdays, and if so, if we would ever learn them, since we know the rest of the TID cast's birthdays from the 10th anniversary birthstone cards.

Her answer: I never told you guys their birthdays?! I have what I call the Bible and it contains everything about all the characters like their birthdays, star signs, etc. So yes, they do have birthdays. I don't remember them off the top of my head, but I'm sure it'd be no problem getting it out to you guys. There's no reason for not.

So, yes, they do have birthdays, and if she remembers that I asked, we might find them out very soon!

I had a great night and there were some hilarious answers to questions that weren't TSC-specific, but I simply just cannot write that fast.

#maggie rambles #chain of thorns tour #cassandra clare #cassie clare #the infernal devices #the last hours #the mortal instruments #the dark artifices #the eldest curses #the wicked powers #the shadowhunter chronicles #tsc #cecily herondale #gideon lightwood #max lightwood #benedict lightwood #robert lightwood #barbara lightwood #jace herondale #clary fray #clary fairchild #jace wayland #ty blackthorn #dru blackthorn #drusilla blackthorn #kit herondale #lucie herondale #tessa gray #simon lewis #simon lovelace

[euphoniumpets]

THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM | CHAPTER TEN

Prompt: ''As long as I can rememer, I've been protecting Alina, it's always Alina who I will protect,'' You told him, looking at Nikolai. ''But who will protect you?''

Warnings: Violence, blood and gore.

Please don’t plagiarize my work - I spend a lot of my time writing, copying and pasting destroys that. 

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Starkov! Reader

Tag list: @lyria-skyfall@khaleesihavilliard@shine101 @waddlingwanderer @clqudias @ducks118 @xceafh@peakyispunk @wilmasvensson @parabatai-winchester @priincehoseok@riot-in-my-soulsoul @feyredarling92 @vendy021 @ssprayberrythings @goldenpoison @shine101 @lili-of-the-dream @xushisuxi @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @jennylil @themermaidscales82

Tag list are closed!

A/N: y'all don't know how many breaks I had to take while writing this chapter. this chapter involves smut!! so, no minors are allowed since i've already marked this series as an 18+ and this is by your own consent. by clicking ''keep reading'' means that you're 18 and older.

(sorry in advance for this cringey smut since i'm a little bit rusty), decided to post chapter eleven and epilogue later tonight!!! so stay tuned for the last chapters in this series.

Warnings: smut, p in v, no condoms are used in this one, fingering, pussy eating.

old masterlist | navi | new masterlist

prologue - one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - epilogue

Your breath quickened in your sleep while you let out small whimpers of fear, and then you woke up. You sighed as you felt sweat form on your forehead. You pulled your covers out of your bed before walking toward the sink and poured some water before cupping your hands and splashing the cold water to wake you up. 

You grabbed the towel but froze in your movement when you felt the eerie feeling. ‘’All this time…’’ You heard Aleksander speak and you turned around with fear when you saw him standing in front of you. ‘’I knew there was something I liked about you,’’ 

‘’No, out,’’ You growled and closed our eyes. ‘’Do you think you’re the one in control here?’’ Aleksander questioned, which made you open your eyes. You shivered with fear when you realized that he knew. He knew that you were the Firebird. ‘’I’m not having you kill me,’’ You answered sternly. 

Aleksander chuckled. ‘’I won’t be long,’’ Aleksander responded. ‘’I’ve only come to tell you that there is another way,’’ He revealed and you scoffed. ‘’There is no other way,’’ You spoke. ‘’Of course, there is,’’ Aleksander replied. ‘’There always is,’’ 

‘’You don’t owe anyone anything, Y/N,’’ Aleksander spoke. ‘’You could just leave, disappear,’’ He said, and you looked at him and shook your head. ‘’You know that I refuse to leave Alina and Mal behind,’’ You replied. ‘’I won’t leave until the Fold’s gone,’’ You told him and put on a brave face. 

‘’You have a bad habit of acting the fool and calling it heroic, what happens to her when you’re no longer with us?’’ Aleksander asked and looked into your eyes. ‘’Or what happens when the Lantsov prince finds out?’’ Aleksander questioned. ‘’Leave him out of this,’’ You sneered as he chuckled darkly. 

‘’When you’re not here to protect her? Or that the king has lost his Queen?’’ He taunted. ‘’Can you even bear the thought?’’ He asked. ‘’He’d have a whole country by his side,’’ You spoke. 

‘’And she won’t need that for long,’’ You replied before taking small steps toward Aleksander. ‘’Because you and I share more than just blood, cousin, we’re both running out of time,’’ You told him as he narrowed his eyes. ‘’The merzost is killing you,’’ You told him as he began to step closer. 

‘’You understand then, that I have nothing to lose,’’ Aleksander replied. ‘’Only because you have nothing left,’’ You mocked him. ‘’You will die alone, and I will die in her arms, right next to me,’’ You spoke. ‘’You’ll die when I kill you, cousin,’’ Aleksander sneered. ‘’Sweet dreams,’’ Aleksander commented with a smirk and it made you frown with confusion before you gasped heavily and opened your eyes when you realized that you didn’t wake up at all from the beginning. 

-

‘’My beloved Second Army, I claimed you to protect you, to lead us to safety, but to do that, we have a daunting road ahead of us,’’ Alina spoke as you were in the map room with everyone else. Your nerves had not calmed down this morning and you knew that you needed to tell them. 

You glanced up from the table and met Tamar’s worried gaze. You nodded at her, letting to know that the heartrender that you were fine. You saw that Mal and Nikolai walked inside the room as well. ‘’We’ll be sending a blended battle unit with the First Army to Keramzin, to protect the orphanage from the Darkling’s forces,’’ Alina informed. ‘’Now, thanks to Nikolai and his second flying ship, they will not see us coming, now our target is Kirigan, but do not underestimate how he would’ve poisoned the minds of our fellow Grisha, now-’’ 

‘’Alina,’’ You interrupted, as everyone gained their attention toward you. You glanced toward Mal with nervousness, who nodded at you in approval. ‘’If I may propose an alternative front for the two of us,’’ You spoke and looked at her. ‘’What do you mean?’’ Alina asked as everyone in the room stared at you blankly. ‘’The Darkling expects to face you at the Keramzin,’’

‘’Yes, but-’’

‘’We’re going to the Fold,’’ You interrupted her. ‘’Just the two of us,’’ You spoke and raised your chin. ‘’Destroy it while Nikolai and the others take out Kirigan’s army,’’ You explained and Mal realized why you were doing this. ‘’Stop it, Y/N,’’ He warned. ‘’But without the final amplifier, how?’’ Genya asked and you looked at Alina with sadness. 

‘’Y/N, don’t,’’ Mal begged as you looked at everyone in the room, but you avoided Alina and Nikolai’s confused gazes. ‘’The last amplifier is a bloodline, my bloodline,’’ You replied and met Alina’s eyes. ''What do you mean by your bloodline?'' Tamar asked.

''Long story short, I am General Kirigan's long long lost cousin,'' You responded. Mal was about to comfort Alina before she shrugged his hand away and looked at you. ‘’No,’’ She replied sternly. 

‘’Alina-’’ Mal spoke. 

‘’I said no,’’ Alina replied angrily and looked at you. ‘’I have a say in this, too,’’ She responded. 

‘’There has to be another way-’’

‘’And if we all go for Kirigan instead? There’s no sign of the Crows, we can’t fight those monsters without the blade without using my power,’’ You told her. ‘’My power is the only thing that can kill them,’’ You responded. ‘’How?’’ Alina asked and you looked at Nikolai. ‘’Back at the Spinning Wheel when the Nichevo’ya knocked Nikolai into unconsciousness,’’ You explained and didn’t let go of his gaze. ‘’You asked me how they got away,’’ You told him as he looked at you with realization. 

‘’They didn’t, you used the cut,’’ Nikolai responded and you nodded before turning back to Alina. ‘’And if anything happens to you, the Fold remains, he wins,’’ You argued as Alina sighed and turned her back on you. ‘’He came to me this morning,’’ You replied. ‘’Maybe the same ones you were having and he knows,’’ You informed as she turned around and looked at you with sadness. 

‘’He knows who I am, and if it’s real, we’re running out of time,’’ You told her. ‘’I will not kill you,’’ She demanded and you looked at her, giving her a small smile. ‘’I’ve already made up my mind, Alina,’’ You told her. ‘’I won’t do it,’’ Alina repeated and shook her head as you heard Tamar clearing her throat. 

‘’If a heartrender stopped Y/N’s heart for two minutes, could you do what you needed to do, Alina?’’ Tamar asked and looked at Alina. ‘’Sorry, what?’’ You asked and turned to face her. ‘’I could kill him and bring her back after two minutes, no longer,’’ Tamar explained. ‘’Will that be enough time to bring down the Fold?’’

‘’It just might be,’’ Alina answered and you looked at Alina. ‘’Alina,’’ You argued and looked at her with a stern expression. ‘’We don’t know how this works,’’ You argued. ‘’There won’t be enough time to join my finger bone-’’

‘’Actually…’’ David spoke up hesitantly. You looked at him and saw him raising his finger. ‘’I could process a fragment of your bone and fuse it with your, well, fuse it with you,’’ David explained. 

‘’Like we did it with the Stag, remember?’’

‘’Of course, you remember,’’ David replied when he noticed the look on Alina’s face. ‘’If we did this before you went into the Fold, theoretically, once your heart stopped, the amplification would commence,’’

‘’Yes,’’ Alina spoke. ‘’This is our solution,’’ She responded and you looked at her. ‘’Sounds completely mad,’’ Nikolai replied and you looked at him, begged for him to protest, but he didn’t say anything and kept silent. You looked at him with betrayal before turning to Alina. ‘’You’re the one who has to kill me or it doesn’t work,’’ You told her. ‘’We try this, trust me,’’ Alina replied and looked at you. 

‘’And if it doesn’t work, then…’’ Alina trailed off. ‘’Thank you,’’ Alina spoke and looked at David. ‘’Can Tamar accompany us?’’ Alina asked. ‘’Tamar makes her own decisions,’’ Nikolai responded and looked at Tamar. You locked your eyes with Tamar as she smiled softly. ‘’I can’t lose my favorite Queen, can I?’’ Tamar commented, giving you a small smile. 

You looked at her and returned it. ‘’Dominik and I will leave for Keramzin immediately,’’ Nikolai responded. ‘’Adrik, Nadia, you’re with us,’’ Nikolai ordered as he dismissed the meeting. You and Alina didn’t utter a word before departing your ways. ‘’Y/N,’’ Nikolai spoke as he watched everyone leave the room. 

You stopped in your tracks before you could go further. ‘’The deal’s off,’’ He replied and you scoffed. ‘’You can’t undeal the deal, remember?’’ You commented. You couldn’t turn and face him. ‘’You didn’t marry me because of Alina, only that you knew about being the Firebird, did you?’’ Nikolai asked. 

You closed your eyes with pain. ‘’I did,’’ You responded. ‘’You told it yourself, didn’t you? It had some benefits that I could use,’’ You spoke. ‘’You used my words against me,’’ Nikolai retorted with hurt in his voice. ‘’I thought that you would listen to me,’’ You responded. 

‘’To tell them that they couldn’t do this, but yet, you stood there, silent,’’ You snapped, and you could feel the anger rising. ‘’I couldn’t do it,’’ You heard him say with a low voice, and you shook your head with disbelief. ‘’You promised me,’’ This time, you turned around, and you looked at him with anger. 

‘’You told me that you promised me that you would help-’’

‘’How could I promise you when I didn’t know that you planned to kill yourself!’’ Nikolai raised his voice, fury in his eyes, and stepped closer to you. You stood there, frozen, and looked at him stunned. You saw the worry in his eyes. ‘’We can’t lose you,’’ He whispered. 

‘’I can’t lose you,’’ He spoke, stepping closer to you so that your nose was touching. ‘’Stop it,’’ You warned him. ‘’Did you love me?’’ You heard him ask, and you tried to walk away but felt him wrap his arm around your waist tightly. You struggled to fight him off and let out a huff when you felt him pin you against the wall. ‘’Nikolai-’’ You protested as he looked into your eyes. ‘’Tell me, Y/N,’’ He responded. ‘’No,’’ You responded and locked your gaze with him. ‘’You’re lying,’’ He spoke before you felt him place his mouth against yours. 

You gasped when you felt him place his lips against yours, and they were soft. So soft that you melted under his touch. You thought him grab you closer to his body by the waist as you let out a gasp and felt his tongue enter your mouth. You gripped him tighter by his collar and wrapped your arms around his neck. 

You let go of him as you felt your nose touching against his. ‘’I hate you,’’ You murmured as you saw him grin. ‘’I know,’’ He spoke before placing his mouth against yours again. This time you didn’t hesitate to bring him close,r and you wrapped your leg around his waist. You moaned when you felt him trail small kisses on your neck. 

You grabbed his waist closer and felt his bulge grinding against your pussy. You both gasped at the feeling and you could feel that you were growing wetter. ‘’Jump,’’ Nikolai replied as you straddled your legs around his waist and felt him lift you and place you on the cold table before throwing the materials on the floor. 

Nikolai began to grab you by the waist and took off your pants and trousers before separating your legs. You heard him groan and felt him place kisses on your tights. You gasped at the tingling feeling and his rough hands that gripped tightly around your waist to keep you steady. 

‘’Nik…’’ You moaned. ‘’God, I love it when you say my name,’’ Nikolai muttered and groaned when he saw that you were drenched. ‘’Wet already?’’ You heard him comment, and you looked at him with frustration. ‘’Stop teasing me, you twat,’’ You remarked and heard him chuckle as you met his eyes.

His eyes turned dark with lust. ‘’I might have a way to teach your manner,’’ Nikolai spoke before he placed his mouth on your pussy. You arched your back in pleasure, grabbed his hair, and tugged him forward. Your eyes rolled when you felt his tongue lick you slowly before he swirled it onto your clit. You moaned loudly when you felt him rub his nose against your clit. 

‘’Nik,’’ You gasped and you looked down and saw him eating you out like a starved man. You felt the familiar knot building in your stomach, and you began to tremble. ‘’Nik, I’m-’’ You began to say when Nikolai pressed deeper into your pussy. You gasped and moaned, and your legs tightened around Nikolai’s head, but he pressed your legs open. 

‘’Keep your legs spread out, sweetheart,’’ You heard him murmur and couldn’t hold it anymore. You shook violently and let out a moan when you came as your hand gripped tightly through his hair. You gasped and tried to calm yourself down with the overwhelming feeling of pleasure. You felt Nikolai grin against your pussy before placing a small kiss and looking at you with a goofy grin on his face. 

His lips were swollen, and his hair was messy, but he was still a pretty thing to look at. You looked at him with a breathless expression when he began to unbuckle his belt and open his uniform so you could see his naked chest in front of you. You widened your eyes when you saw his cock spring out. It was big, you got to admit that, and the look of it made you drool. 

‘’I take it you fancy it,’’ You heard him comment with a smug look. You looked at him as Nikolai placed his mouth on you, and you felt the tip of his finger slide up and down. You whimpered when you felt his fingers slide inside of your pussy. You gasped when you felt him pump his finger in and out, stretching you completely. You whined at the sudden loss of his fingers as he let go of you. 

‘’Arch your back,’’ He murmured into your neck as you were on the cold table. You felt the tip of his cock on your pussy. You and Nikolai groaned when you felt his cock slide inside of you. You wrapped your legs around his waist, and he waited a few seconds to get you to adjust his size. 

‘’Nik, move, please,’’ You begged as he looked at you, unsure. ‘’Are you sure?’’ He asked in uncertainty. ‘’Yes, please,’’ You begged, and he chuckled before moving. You groaned when he began to move. It was too much for you to bear the pleasure, and moaned when you felt him going faster. Your loud moans filled the room along with the sound of skins slapping against each other. You heard Nikolai grunt and place small kisses against your neck. 

‘’Nik, I gonna come,’’ You gasped when you felt the familiar knot build and he could feel your pussy clench tighter around his cock. ‘’I know,’’ Nikolai groaned and began to thrust faster. You gripped your arms around him tighter to keep you steady. You felt your legs shake. ‘’Nik-’’ You moaned and then you rolled your eyes from the back of your head, arched your back in pleasure and the two of you moaned when you felt him come.

You felt the warm liquid inside of you. The two of you didn’t move for a while and enjoyed each other’s presence as you felt him pull out. You breathed out as he tucked his cock back into his pants and tried to help you put back the clothes on. You didn’t say anything and watched him as he place his buttons back on. 

‘’Promise me that you will come back to me,’’ You heard him murmur and place his hands between you and leaned toward you. His nose was touching against yours and you could feel him. ‘’You know that I can’t do that,’’ You whispered and grabbed his cheek so that he could meet your eyes. 

‘’But I will love you until my very last breath,’’ You spoke and felt him leaning toward you and placing his mouth against yours. 

-

BRB- I'M GONNA GO AND CRY-

please comment of what you'd thought of this chapter, remember, rebblogging always helps!

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #shadow and bone #alina starkov #inej gafha #kaz brekker #six of crows #aleksander morovoza #malyen oretsev #nina zenik #zoya nazyalensky #genya safin #matthias helvar