#this is something I’ve been thinking every year since 2015 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dpr-stay · 10 months

Text

Through the years | D.K

Doh Kyungsoo x f1driver!Reader

Warnings: Swears, a lot of crack

WC: 9.1k (ik, kill me now)

Howdy Cowpeople! This one is... hefty. This wasn’t supposed to be as long as it was but when I get in a groove... I think I made it obvious but I just wanted it to be over L O L. This one is pretty niche, but hopefully it can be enjoyed by both sides as it is a driver!reader.

(I didn't edit this, whoops)

2015

“Can you explain this picture?” The reporter asks, hovering in front of you with a phone in hand. The crappy quality is amplified as they have zoomed into the point where the picture is unrecognizable. You squint your eyes to see it and can’t make out quite what they’re trying to show.

“Sorry, w-what is that?” You ask, drawing back and squinting your eyes, resisting the urge to close them from exhaustion. Whoever decided it would be a good idea to do interviews after nearly 100 continuous laps in some barely held together race car with no break was a sadist. No other explanation.

“Oh! It’s a picture of you in a car with a guy.” The reporter said eagerly and shoved the phone your way. You briefly looked at the camera, an unimpressed look on your face, before turning back to the phone and squinting again.

You paused for a minute and drew back, your face still scrunched up, and exhaled.

“Nahhhhhh.” The drew out word left your mouth.

The reporter’s head tilted and they frowned.

“But it is! It’s you in Seoul after the Japanese Grand Prix!” He continued, looking very determined. You plastered a confused expression on your face.

“I’ve never been to Seoul before.” His face dropped and he turned back to his phone, as though trying to rationalize what he was hearing.

“Have you just taken a picture of… two random people in a car? To me it honestly doesn’t even look like anything cause it’s so zoomed in but to each their own.” You finished your words with a shrug.

“No, my source told me that that was 100% you! They said they saw you get in the car at the airport.” He continued on, undeterred by your flat disregard.

“I hate to say it, your contact’s wrong. I’ve never even set foot in the country.” You shrugged before turning to your PR manager who was gesturing for you to leave, with rather forceful movements. That was to clue you in that you were in trouble. With her personally or with the boss man, you didn’t know.

“Lovely to see you again, though.” You smiled and held your hand over. The interviewer tentatively took it and you exchanged good-byes before you turned around and left to go onto more interviews. The glance you exchanged with your PR manager told you that you were lucky you had not been caught out on your multiple lies and you heaved a sigh of relief to yourself.

Being the only female driver in a heavily male dominated sport was incredibly stressful. Add to that the eyes of reporters trying to find you doing anything remotely weird to spin it into a scandal and you had a lot of things to worry about. Especially since you had just started a relationship with a highly coveted Kpop singer which you were determined to keep under wraps.

You both had a bet running with each other. The first person to reveal the relationship would lose. There was no consequence but your pride, something which both of you had a bit too much of.

And so, a game was born. It simultaneously made you more careful of revealing your relationship while also making it a fun game.

This also meant that you had to start constantly lying to reporters to get out of tricky situations. Surely nothing bad could ever come from this.

2016:

“How does it feel to be a key contender for the championship?” Asked a reporter, directing it to, of course, Lewis Hamilton, who was sat beside Daniel in a panel of drivers. You were sat on the other side of Daniel, the small desk in front of you reaching for miles on either side.

As Lewis gave the carbon copy response that he had given to every interviewer so far, Daniel leaned over to whisper in your ear.

“I’m surprised they haven’t called him out on that yet.” He then reached for his plastic water bottle and took a sip. You considered this for a second before leaning to his side and answered, not turning your face from the crowd of reporters.

“I’m surprised they haven’t called you out on your disgusting trim.” He jolted forward at this unprompted attack on his hair and the choking sound he emanated drew attention from all in the room, all watching him with curious eyes as he tried to regain his breath.

“You alright mate?” Lewis asked, one of his eyebrows arching.

“Y-yeah I’m fine.” Daniel replied, waving his hand, eager to have attention off of his spluttering. It took a while but eventually all the cameras were aimed back at Lewis, so Daniel took the opportunity to elbow you hard in the side, your reaction being to topple off your chair dramatically. Usually one for the dramatics, you’re not sure you’ve ever seen Daniel want the cameras off him so much.

Hidden behind a small desk, you could only hear the questioning tones calling out your name and see Daniel’s slightly panicked face urging you to get up and back on your chair. With one single hand, you reached for the desk and slowly pulled yourself up.

You released a deep breath as you hauled yourself into your seat and turned to face the crowd of reporters who were looking at you. With a grand hand gesture, you motioned for them to continue with their interviews and turned slightly to Daniel with a smile. He shot you back an exasperated glance before your name was called from the crowd of reporters. You looked towards the reporter and he began speaking.

“So, as you’re the only female on the grid I feel the need to ask, if you could date any of the drivers, who would it be?” The eager face he had contrasted with your entirely unimpressed face. You could hear Daniel begin to start speaking and you could feel the defensive energy emanating from the rest of the drivers on the panel, but before any of them could interrupt with scathing criticism about the misogyny that permeated the question, you replied to the reporter.

“Literally none of them, I’d rather die.” Your response was met with general silence before Daniel started laughing as usual.

“Really? You wouldn’t fancy any of them?” The reporter asked, almost in disbelief.

“No!” You said almost equally in disbelief.

“I’m fine with what I have at home!” You added on after a second.

“Are you saying you’re in a relationship???” The reporter was on the edge of his seat, others shoving their microphones and cameras trying to get a good shot. You dramatically pondered that for a second before replying.

“I wouldn’t say that, I just have other things at home.” You said that and then leaned back, shrugged, and didn’t say anything else into the mic even at the reporters continual uproar as they took in the implications of that statement.

You, luckily, were able to avoid the increasingly weird questions by just not answering and smiling. You weren’t as lucky to miss the smirks thrown your way by the other drivers.

2017:

“It doesn’t count!” You said in disbelief, aiming it at the microphone of your phone.

“Mmm I’d say it counts.” Kyungsoo replied back teasingly, his voice echoing into your AirPods.

“You can’t go back on your word!! You said it was fine last year!” You were sitting at a table in your company's hospitality, having a conversation with Kyungsoo on the phone, blissfully unaware of the interviews going on outside the building which had a clear view into the small area.

“Yeah but it’s been two years, one of us has to call it quits soon.” Your face contorted before Kyungsoo quickly amended his statement.

“The bet! The bet! Sorry, that came out the wrong way.”

You just shook your head, a small smile growing on your lips.

“You bastard, you had me a little worried.” He scoffed in response. He had been speaking quietly into the phone as he was hiding in a closet in the SM building, taking a break from practice to talk to you. A true charmer.

“As if.” He replied shortly, a loud scuffling heard on his side.

“One second.” He said, as a banging sound came through into your headphones.

“Come on Hyung! Get off the phone and come back before someone else finds you!” Kai’s voice could be heard through the door. A pause before the banging started again.

“Also tell her I said hello!” You giggled at the younger man’s words and Kyungsoo’s sigh in response.

“I’ll call you after the race, do your best, I love you.” Kyungsoo muttered into his phone before shouting back to Kai something about respect and to shut up. It just made you laugh more.

“I love you too, practice well and I’ll call you soon.” You finally said in response after the yelling died down.

“Bye.” He said before quickly tacking on another “love you” and then he hung up.

After he hung up you just stared at your screen for a second with a smile you would 100% not call radiant on your face. It was quickly wiped off when your PR manager popped up out of nowhere and started talking about interviews, causing you to switch to English as you stood up and followed him.

However, the interview still captured your little moment and the conversation preluding it. You knew this because, when you went back to your phone after the race, Baekhyun had sent you a picture of your smile through the tinted glass with a smirking emoji as well as a picture of Kyungsoo on the floor in the closet in the dark talking to you on the phone, not to mention the hounding you got at the next press conference.

2018:

You knew it was risky to do a live in your own apartment, especially since you were in a completely different country than where you were claiming you were.

But your PR team wanted you to do it, and you couldn’t exactly tell them no, even if you were currently lying to them about your circumstances. You were a bit worried that something unexplainable might happen like the South Korean national anthem suddenly blaring but what you weren’t worried about was the person who you were living with coming back and interrupting your live.

Kyungsoo was at practice and, while you were ok with him skipping it to talk to you on the phone, you didn’t want him to skip it now, as you had been promised a few days without any interruption if he went to every practice. So he was at practice and you were fulfilling all your expected PR duties for the next couple of days, which included the live.

Regardless of your hesitations, you set up your phone on your coffee table facing the entrance to your home and sat on the couch before turning on the live. Immediately people joined, flooding the chat and making your phone vibrate.

“Uhhh hello everyone.” You awkwardly greeted as you tried to think of things to say. Kyungsoo would be fantastic at this, you couldn’t help but think, always having to do live’s with his members.

“How’s everyone’s days been?” You settled on and watched the responses roll into the chat. You noticed a few drivers had joined your live and even a few of the boys from F2 and F3 were watching, which you thought was pretty nice of them considering it was mainly you rambling for around 30 minutes.

Your manager wanted you to do an hour minimum for the live and the time seemed to stretch for years, you continuously making small talk and occasionally replying to comments. You even snuck in a few jokes for the other drivers before, around the 55 minute mark, a sound came from your end.

You furrowed your eyebrows as you wondered where the noise was coming from, looking around the apartment. Quickly standing up, you looked around the apartment, making a lighthearted joke about ghosts as you nervously tried to find the origin of the sound.

You realised that sound was the wrong key being put in the lock as soon as you registered the sound of the correct key being put in.

As Kyungsoo opened the door, you made the biggest leap you think you have ever made. It would’ve had to have been around 4 meters surely. Somehow you had leapt onto the coffee table, knocking your phone down. Kyungsoo was staring at you weirdly as you violently gestured at him to shush. He raised an eyebrow.

“Are you ok?” He asked, his deep voice sounding as lovely as ever. You took a second, contemplating your options in this circumstance before coming to a logical conclusion.

You started to scream.

“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!” Kyungsoo’s face shifted to one of confusion as yours was full of desperation.

“YOU CRAZY PSYCHO! GET OUT!!” You continued to yell in perfect English, a contrast from his peaceful question, and gestured for Kyungsoo to close the door, which he did, albeit very confused.

As soon as he closed the door, you maneuvered yourself so that you weren’t facing him and quickly picked up your phone from underneath you.

“Oh my god, what just happened.” You said, showing the camera your roof. You picked up the phone and started fidgeting with it.

“‘Are you ok?’ Yeah I’m fine, I just gotta figure out how to change the locks. I’ll uh.. I’ll get back to you guys. See you later.” You said absentmindedly, as you ended the live.

You paused for a second, sat back on your heels, and sighed, staring up at the roof. The sound of footfalls reached your ears and you didn’t react when Kyungsoo placed a hand on your shoulder.

“I’m not losing this bet.” You mumbled, staring at the ground. An incredulous laugh left him at that as he reached his hand further and brought your face to look at him. A smile that there was no other way to describe but goofy was spread across his face.

“You’re still thinking of that?” He asked and you nodded.

“I take our bet very seriously.” You said before he slightly shook his head, gave you a kiss on the forehead, and moved towards the kitchen.

You picked yourself up and moved to the dining table as he started work in the kitchen. And, as he made a delicious dinner that you both enjoyed, you started to field off your PR team asking who was in your house and ignoring the comments wondering why the guy was speaking Korean in the middle of England.

2019:

It was approximately ten minutes before you had to be in the car and ready to go, and you were half-way there. You had your fireproofs and race suit on and you were being herded towards your car by a crowd of engineers. Strategies and specifics were being directed at you and you could only nod and act as though you were absorbing what they were saying.

Even after four years on the job some people felt they just couldn’t rely on you. Honestly, they should just let you do your thing, you knew what you were doing.

No! God, ever since Kyungsoo had joined the military you’d been irritable and quick to anger on the track. Your poor engineers were trying their best to get through to you, likely because they wanted to keep their jobs, but you’d been incredibly closed off since after you got back from the honeymoon.

Oh yeah, you got married. During a break and right before Kyungsoo was scheduled to start his enlistment, you got married down in a small courthouse with only a few people from either side. You had your family, a few close friends, and a few drivers while Kyungsoo had his family, a few close friends, and the whole of EXO.

It was very emotional and intimate, but that was how you’d describe your relationship so you were very happy with it. You were also extremely happy with the week get-away in the middle of nowhere in New Zealand that followed after, a week of people not recognising both you, farmers markets, and sheep. Lot’s of sheep.

But ever since he’d flown off to do his duty to his country (and shaved his head, no one should look that good with a shaved head) and you’d flown to your next race, you’d been incredibly… angry.

You didn’t know if it had to do with not seeing Kyungsoo for the better part of two years or having that split immediately after the wedding, but what you did know was that it was affecting your racing so you had to snap out of it.

Being dragged back to the present you quickly hopped in the car and performed all of your checks on the steering wheel and adjusted things while people flitted around outside the car, adjusting things and making sure the car was in proper state.

After a quick radio check, the call to start up for the formation lap (you were in P11 after a pretty dodgy qualifying) was relayed and all around you could hear car’s engines coming to life. You glanced at your engineers and snapped down your visor at their nod, starting the car.

Before you pressed the throttle something quickly came to mind. You rapidly gestured for one of your engineers to come close to you, incredibly conscious of all the cars revving around you. The poor engineer almost sprinted to you as you started to fiddle with the zip of your racesuit, the gloves you were wearing prohibiting you from unzipping it.

The engineer's face was comically concerned and he slowly reached forwards before you looked up and grabbed his outreached hand. His face immediately went to one of shock as you made his hand grab the zip and unzip the front part of the suit.

Choosing to ignore the cameras capturing this interaction you continued unzipping it till it lay around your collarbones, hoping the cameras don’t catch any of your naked shoulders. The engineer's face then relaxed as he saw the necklace around your neck and he quickly reached in, almost leaning over the car, to move your necklace around your neck till the latch was in front of him.

He cautiously unlatched the necklace before zipping up your race suit. You immediately relaxed as the pressure around your neck was relieved. Before he could retreat back to the crowd of engineers, you grabbed the hand that wasn’t holding your necklace and slapped it appreciatively with your other hand.

He retreated as you powered up the car and started to move it forwards, letting all the cars that needed to go before go before you started to move.

Your team radio started up as you were leaving the pit lane.

“You all had us very confused there.” Your race engineer said as you started your cruise around the track.

“Yeah, sorry I completely forgot about it. But I thought it was better to take it off.” You said, pressing down on the throttle.

“He better not lose that though. I want that back at the end of the race.” You subtly threatened, suddenly thinking of the rings that were attached to the necklace. You hoped that maybe the cameras hadn’t seen your wedding and engagement rings but you knew there was no chance they hadn’t not captured it. Oh well.

“I don’t know if you’ll get it back by the end of the race.” Your engineer said, her tone almost sarcastic.

“What’s that mean?” You asked, letting the car cruise.

“You’ll probably be killed by your PR team first.” She said bluntly. So bluntly it made you laugh.

“I’ve got a race to focus on.” You reminded her, leaving out the part that you had a race to think of an excuse as to why you have two rings attached to a necklace around your neck.

And you did think of an excuse, wearing the necklace proudly during post-race interviews and saying it was a family heirloom that had been passed on to you by your grandma whenever you were questioned about it.

The moment still went viral though, people questioning the relationship between you and the engineer. It went viral enough to that you had to suffer through teasing by Daniel and his accomplice Max Verstappen (you didn’t know how the kid knew you were married but you suspected it had something to do with an annoying Australian) not to mention the shit being talked in the EXO group chat you were in.

I mean seriously, all of those guys are millionaires, does Chen have nothing else to do with his time than bully the wife of his bandmate?

2020: (sorry Alex)

Somehow you got signed to RedBull on a year contract. Not to say you weren’t grateful for the opportunity but you were definitely a bit confused. But anyway, you let bygones be bygones and now you had a 22 year-old dutch nuisance under your wing.

He was a great kid but god, was he traumatized. You were convinced he’d never seen a healthy family dynamic, so you were more than happy to let him see how you and Kyungsoo functioned. Or at least how you functioned when he was not in the military.

You kind of felt like a life coach for the kid, telling him when he was being taken advantage of or when he should continue with something. You’d been woken up plenty of times in the middle of the night by him drunkenly whining into the phone about wanting to go “home”, something neither of you commented on when he woke up on your couch the next day.

So, safe to say, you’d practically adopted a child without the permission of your husband.

This extended to on the track as well, you’d gotten into a few mild disagreements with Jos Verstappen after his cruel comments which often involved you looking at him angrily and him shit-talking you in interviews about you being a woman. You’d often have to refrain from saying that you’d always be more of a man than him, but alas, you didn’t want to get kicked from your seat.

You knew that Max was extremely appreciative of your dynamic, even commenting on it a few times during interviews, saying that he was very happy to have you as a teammate. After that interview you almost felt like you and his lover, Daniel, were able to give him some sort of an idea of what a normal family relationship should look like.

This sentiment was definitely reinforced when a loud knocking on your Monaco apartment door happened in the early afternoon. It was a weekend with no race, so you were soaking in relaxation. You were having a nice bubble bath after having read for the whole morning, so you were hesitant to hop out of the bath.

The knocking persisted however, and with a sigh, you got out of the bath and wrapped a bathrobe around you before loudly yelling you’d be a minute. You tugged on some sweats which weren’t yours and put your hair in a towel before eventually making your way to the door.

You might’ve taken more than a minute, but it didn’t matter when you opened the door and were greeted with the image of Max Verstappen on his knees, face pressed into the expensive hallway carpet. What a sight to see, the prodigy and most highly anticipated driver of his time, lying face-first on the floor.

“What the fuck?” You asked, immediately crouching down to his level after a quick glance to see that none of your neighbors had left their apartments to check on the banging (pretentious, self-concerned people).

You rolled him over, your confusion doubling as you took in the remorseful look etched across the young man's face, almost tripling as you took in the barely concealed tears in his eyes. Your heart ached though and you pulled him up so that he was sitting on his knees.

“I’m so sorry.” He muttered as your face contorted in confusion. What had happened? “Come inside Max.” You said quietly, helping him up from his spot on the floor and leading him inside, locking the door after you both. Leading him to the couch, you left him after putting the throw blanket over his shoulders, and went to make both of you a tea.

You noticed your phone constantly vibrating on your kitchen counter and quickly chucked it on do not disturb, not checking the notifications because you were more concerned with your teary teammate.

After grabbing the teas you made your way to the couch, setting them down on coasters on the coffee table, before sitting on the edge of the ‘L’ piece of the couch, so you were facing Max. You grabbed his hand from his lap where he had been nervously picking at his nail beds.

“What’s wrong Max?” You asked calmly, bringing his hand to your lap to stop him from hurting himself. He looked up at you, a few tears having rolled down his cheeks.

Whatever had happened had fucked him up. You didn’t think it was a fight with his dad, he’d sadly become pretty unresponsive to those. You briefly considered him losing his seat but shook that off, he was doing exceptionally well.

Maybe you’d lost your seat and he was sent to deliver the news. That would make more sense, especially as your phone was blowing up. You hadn’t been performing very well, but you didn’t think they’d drop you from your seat midway through the season, especially during a season as turbulent as this one.

It was the only reason that made sense though, so you prepared yourself for the news that you would be unemployed. Maybe you’d go back to F2 or maybe IndyCar? Or you could just move to South Korea and live there permanently, letting Kyungsoo fulfill his passion for acting and singing while you did a few kart races to occasionally quench your thirst for adrenaline.

That actually didn’t sound too bad, though you’d definitely have to discuss it with Kyungsoo when he got back from enlistment, which meant around 5 months of unemployment. But hey, you had the money and so did Kyungsoo.

Max snapped you from your thoughts of the future by clearing his throat.

“You don’t know?” He asked, curiously glancing up at you. You furrowed your eyebrows.

“No…” You said, conveying your confusion. “Should I?”

“Have you checked your phone recently?” Yep, you were definitely getting fired. You should probably start packing now. Maybe Daniel could get his seat back? You shook your head in response to his quiet question.

“I’ve just been reading all morning.” Max nodded, a small ‘ah’ leaving his mouth as he stared at the floor. He reached for his tea, his hand leaving your lap. You narrowed your eyes at that, following his movements as he sipped, a gasp immediately leaving his throat as he burnt it.

You immediately cussed and sprung up from your couch to grab a glass of cold water, running back to the couch and giving it to Max, watching as he gulped down the glass. When he finished he turned back to you and thanked you, before pausing for a second and bursting into another round of tears. You placed a hand on his shoulder.

“You’re really freaking me out Max. Can you please tell me what’s wrong?” You asked gently, trying to make him catch your eye.

“Promise you won't hate me?” His small voice asked and you internally crumpled at his vulnerable question. Honestly you never thought you’d end up gentle-parenting a teammate like he was a child of yours, especially since you were only like 5 years older than him, but here you were, caring for him like family.

“Yes, I won’t hate you Max.” You repeated as he finally caught your eye. He took a deep breath before starting to speak.

“I was doing an interview for the press and they started asking questions about other drivers and my relationship to them. They then asked about you and I said that I’m really close to you and etcetera.” Ok, seems pretty normal so far. At least you weren’t getting fired, hopefully.

“And they asked if I see you more as a mother figure or a romantic interest.” He said before quickly turning his eyes away. This confused you before you clued in.

“Oh Max.” You said quietly and he turned back to you. “I’m flattered you feel that way but I am married and I am loyal-”

“No, no, no!” He said, louder than he’d ever spoken in the time since he was on the floor. His cheeks had turned bright red as he looked in your eyes.

“No, I didn’t say that I saw you romantically!” He quickly amended and you breathed a sigh of relief, smiling.

“Ok, that’s good! I didn’t want our friendship to be awkward.” You said, looking at him for a response. He just grimaced and averted his gaze. You gestured for him to go on confusedly and he began speaking again.

“And I said more like a mother-figure.” A statement which made you feel positive things you don’t want to address. “Then I may have accidentally said that, even though I haven’t met him, I see your husband as more of a father-figure as well.” He quickly rushed the last part out and you sat, stunned.

The room went silent while you processed what he told you. Fuuuuckkk. How much trouble were you going to be in? I mean the team knew, but this wasn’t something you could pass off as your grandmother's rings. This was undeniable proof that you had a husband. God press days were going to suck after this unless you could somehow make an excuse.

As time went on he seemed to collapse in on himself, the energy quickly switching to something you didn’t like.

“To be honest I thought you were going to tell me I’d lost my seat.” You said and Max’s head snapped up. “What?” He asked, disbelieving.

“Yeah I know, crazy.” You laughed, dragging out the last word, trying to establish a more relaxed aura in the room.

“No, why haven’t you kicked me out yet?” It was at times like this you really wanted to punch Jos Verstappen in the face. You made an over exaggerated confused face, hoping the fact that that had never gone through your mind was on display in your face.

“Max, why would I do that?” You asked, your voice very quickly becoming soothing.

“Why aren’t you mad at me? You’ve spent years hiding this! You should be yelling at me!” He said, standing up. You tried, in vain, to get him to sit down by gently calling him, but he started pacing.

“I’ve just ruined your chances at revealing this yourself, at ever having another peaceful day in your marriage, and all you can do is make a joke?!” He almost started yelling, clenching his fists. You got fed-up and yelled his name, calling his attention to you.

“You’re in my house as my guest. You will not tell me what to do or how to handle situations. Sit your ass down.” You yelled, your voice incredibly commanding. He followed your instructions and sat smally in front of you.

“Max. It was eventually going to come out. I don’t mind. I’d much rather it come off handedly from you than maliciously leaked by a random instagram page.” You said and he looked up, almost looking close to tears. You frowned before bringing the boy up into a hug. You stayed like that for a few minutes before you had to ask a question.

“You didn’t reveal who he was though, no?” You asked, still in the hug. You felt Max shake his head and you silently fistpumped behind his back. It wasn’t your fault, so it technically didn’t count and you hadn’t lost the bet.

You were right, by the way, press days were soon filled with questions about your mystery husband instead of your racing. But it was fine, you were somehow able to twist it as though you’d made a joke about having a husband and Max took it seriously.

Phew.

2021: (sorry latifi)

“And so today you will be reacting to fan edits of yourselves!” The lady behind the camera finished, prompting you and George to look at eachother. It was early in the season and, even though you’d raced together for a few years, you weren’t exactly close, being that before pre-season meetings, you hadn’t ever talked. At all.

This meant he didn’t know much about your personal life or the whole ‘husband’ thing. Which was fine, you’d tell him in your own time, when you felt your friendship was strong enough. He seemed to be a great kid, though you were determined to not adopt another grown child, especially after the look you got from Kyungsoo when you mentioned the fact you may have ‘accidentally’ had Christmas with Max Verstappen.

But hey, they had finally met during February and it was almost like a Dad saying that his daughter can’t adopt a cat while simultaneously cuddling with the cat. Kyungsoo, against his better judgment, had instantly attached to Max and now you were battling for the position of being his favourite driver. Which you were totally not bitter about (you said your favourite EXO member was Sehun in retaliation and he changed your mind very quickly).

Back to the present, the people behind the camera placed a tablet on the table in front of you. It was open on the photo gallery and you could already see some very flattering videos saved to the device.

“You wanna go first?” You asked, and George nodded before picking up the tablet and scrolling through the photo library. He closed his eyes and landed on one. Loud music immediately began playing from the device, you think ‘London Boy’ by Taylor Swift, and you both watched in varying states of horror as photos and clips of him flashed on the screen.

As the video ended you both accidentally made eye-contact. Now, as an almost 28 year old woman, the simple gesture of looking into your teammate's stricken eyes should not have made burst out laughing as hard as you did. But, god, George’s eyes were expressive. In fairness he also did laugh, though he probably was confused as to why you were laughing so much.

After you caught your breath you could only utter out,

“Your face...” Before peeling back into giggles again. He started laughing again as well before putting the tablet down. In doing so, he accidentally swiped the tablet and the Backstreet Boys started playing, an edit of the 2019 rookies playing as the video.

This chain event caused you to start gasping, the sheer ridiculousness of the videos catching up to you. George only took one look at the tears forming in your eyes before he was also wheezing out harsh breaths from laughing.

It took around 2 minutes for you to look at each other without laughing and, for you both to be able to pick up the tablet without giggling, it took another minute or so. You eventually began scrolling through the tablet, laughing at some and ‘aww’-ing at some of the sad ones.

Eventually a video came up with the background music to ‘Give it to me’ by Sistar, an edit of you that was hot but had you gasping at the lyrics.

“What?” George looked over to you, curious as to why there was another noise that came out of your mouth than laughing or a strained ‘why?’.

“The audacity!” You said, as the music continued playing.

“What..?” George asked, more confused than previously.

“Do you want to know the lyrics they’ve just edited me to?” You asked, looking over at him, your voice pretending to be offended.

“What?” He said, his tone changing again to have a sort of goading lilt.

“Will I even get married before I turn thirty.” You said with an air of finality, turning to glare at the camera, your jaw dramatically hung open. George gasped mockingly.

“How dare they!” He said sarcastically and you nodded eagerly.

“I know right!” You responded beginning a stereotypical mean girl impression. “How dare they!” After that little fiasco, you both kept scrolling and laughing (a notable example of this being when an edit of George crying came up, him pushing your shoulders as you continued to laugh).

Eventually the video was being wrapped up and George was preparing to do a sort of sign off when he paused and turned to you.

“I know we aren’t incredibly close…” He started and you prepared for a multitude of questions. You didn’t know him well enough to predict what he might say, so you went over your predisposed answers to questions in your head.

You knew he wouldn’t ask anything uncomfortable, like about your relationship status, or anything really weird, like how many socks do you wash at once. But that left a gaping probability for mildly-weird or mildly-uncomfortable questions. You hoped he wouldn’t ask that, but you were still prepared to be asked if you threw out your receipts or kept them.

“But I didn’t know you knew Korean. How did you learn?”

Oh. Fuck.

You did not have an answer for that. How the fuck did you not have an answer for that? You definitely should have had an answer for that. Oh wait, you didn’t have an answer because you promised yourself not to tell anyone that you could speak Korean so that you didn’t get that question!

The real, close-friends answer was that Kyungsoo had taught you over a range of years and that you’d taken courses so that you’d be able to talk to his friends and family. However you didn’t have a PR approved answer because you’d never thought that you’d need one. Time to put your problem solving skills to the test.

“Uhhhhh…” You said, staring confusedly at George, aware of the seconds that had passed while you were internally monologuing. You hoped your expression didn’t convey the level of gob-smacked that you felt but you think it did because George’s face contorted to be one of worry.

“If that’s a sensitive topic or something you don’t have to answer!” He quickly said as though he was trying to fix the situation. You’d later learn the George thought before your video that you were kind of ‘fucking terrifying’ (his words) and that he was scared he’d screwed up by asking you this and one of his ‘hero’s’ (his words) wouldn’t ever want to talk to him again.

“Nah, nah. It’s ok.” You waved him off, desperately trying to think of something. Oh! You knew exactly what to say.

“Basically I just have this really good friend who is Korean and I asked him to teach me for fun.” You said simply, before realising that wasn’t good enough considering your reaction.

“I was trying to hide how good I’ve gotten to try and surprise him but I guess it’s ok.” You said, a small smile on your face. George relaxed from his tense state and nodded, a small smile playing onto his lips as well.

“Ah that’s cool. Sorry to spoil the surprise.” You waved him off again and he continued the video’s outro.

Another good save, you really oughta be hired to problem-solve. And by problem-solving you mean lying to the media. And George. Poor George.

2022: (yeah the timelines don’t match, don’t call me out pls)

A loud banging sounded against your hotel door. You groaned, dropping the book onto your chest from where you held it up. Glancing angrily at the door, you rolled out of bed and stomped over to the entrance. You ripped open the door and prepared to start reaming the person on the other side before letting out a high-pitched scream.

You were in Japan for the Suzuka GP. You always didn’t like the Japanese GP because, even though you were incredibly close to Kyungsoo, your schedules never lined up so you could never see him.

That fact really grinded your gears, but it’s what you get when you try to schedule something with SM Entertainment. A decisive ‘No.’ What a great company. To be honest, was Willaims really any better?

No. No they weren’t. That mere fact infuriated you enough to make you scream. However, it wasn’t the reason you were currently screaming. That was because, standing in your doorway in the middle of the team hotel, was Kai.

You hadn’t seen him in a few months, you both had busy schedules, so the man appearing on your doorstep was miraculous. You didn’t think of why he was there, or how he got there. You just threw your arms around him and gave him a hug.

“Oh my god!” You screamed, before immediately regretting it and quickly pulling him into your hotel room before someone came out of their rooms and wondered why he was in front of yours.

“Hi!” He said, laughing as he let himself be pushed into your room despite the fact he could pick you up and throw you.

“What are you doing here?” You asked changing your pulling into a hug, squeezing the younger man as though he was your child. You had a serious problem with that, treating men almost your age as children. But Kai was more of a brother than a child, to be quite frank. That distinction just meant that he really really bugged you.

“I have a concert tomorrow and I thought I might just stop in.” He said, a smile on his face. “Though it is only me, sorry.”

“That’s ok!” You said, still in disbelief one of your closest friends was on your doorstep.

“Does Kyungsoo know?” Kai smirked in response to your question. That was answer enough in itself and you slapped Kai on the shoulder.

“You should’ve told him! He might’ve come.” Kai gasped in mock offense.

“What am I not good enough? Would you really prefer your husband that much?” He continued in mock offense and you dead-panned him. He just laughed in response.

“I did have to tell the company I was coming though, and they asked me to film a TikTok with you.” He quickly rushed out and you groaned, staring at the sky. What was up with all of these people wanting you to do TikTok’s?! You had all of your team's PR people constantly chasing you with a camera and now you had Kai asking for a video.

“Fine.” You ground out and Kai grinned, purposely ignoring your annoyance.

“Fantastic!” He said and quickly whipped out his phone, launching into his plans of what to film. Your only artistic input was that he had to cool it on the filters or else you wouldn’t film.

The video started with the familiar sound of Peaches by Kai and a hand knocking on your hotel door, you opening the door curiously. As the chorus sounded, you recorded Kai dancing in your doorway, incredibly aware of the chance of any of your colleagues walking into the hallway and wondering what the fuck was going on.

The video continued after the chorus, Kai recording you slamming the door in his face with a confused expression. The video then ended with a still image of the both of you doing a heart together with your hands and you let Kai go rampant on the filters, hearts and sparkles flying around on the screen.

When you watched it back, Kai waiting at your side eagerly to see your reaction, you did your best to hide the laughing fit you had in reaction to the monstrosity. You couldn’t quite hide the gasps that were leaving you though and Kai frowned.

“It’s perfect. I love it.” You said, through your giggles and he smiled.

“I know. It’s fantastic.” You only nodded because you couldn’t trust yourself to talk, a small whine escaping through your lips at the struggle of not laughing.

“Do you want to see the caption?” He asked and you violently nodded your head.

“Please.”

“P15 but still P1 EXO-L.” He read out and you just hung your jaw open. “You bastard!” You laughed out.

“I put it in Korean as well.” Your only response was to hit him, hard, while still laughing and shaking your head.

“Should we run it by your PR team before posting?” Kai asked, taking a serious note. You looked to him and sucked in air through your teeth.

“Nahhhh.” You replied and he shrugged, and clicked post.

“I should probably tell Kyungsoo you were here before he finds out through the internet.” You said, reaching for your phone. Kai nodded vehemently.

One phone call later, an angry Kyungsoo and an apologetic Kai later, the TikTok was making its rounds and your phone was blowing up, your poor PR agent about to have a heart attack.

On that delightful note Kai left your hotel room, farewelled with a minute long hug and a well-wish for his concert, and you were left to phone your PR agent who just screamed into the phone for 10 seconds before actually speaking.

Of course, during the press releases for the rest of the season, you talked about how much of an EXO-L you were and how close of a friend you were to Kai. This didn’t come without dating rumours but, due to one poorly angled camera shot of your disgusted face when a reporter suggested dating to your face, that was shut down pretty quickly.

Still no one had shipped you with the other EXO members though, so you weren’t even close to losing the bet. (Though you had been asked which EXO member was your favourite, which you responded to with a smirk.)

2023:

It was a good race, you finishing P4 which was a huge improvement since last season. Your team was on top of the moon as were you, smiling from ear to ear. You were currently in the press area, getting asked questions left and right about the car and your performance.

You were adequately responding to each question, sometimes looking questioningly your PR agent when you weren’t sure how to respond. A loud crash sounded through the area that drew the attention of most in the area as a reporters chair fell to the ground. They had jumped up at something on their phone and, like everyone else in the pen, you were wondering what had them so fired up.

Then their eyes darted up and made eye-contact with you. Your internal monologue quickly changed from questioning to a repeated loop of ‘Oh no. Oh no.’ as they advanced your way, moving like a predator stalks their prey. They thrusted their phone under your nose, the shitty little mic attached to it capturing every breath you took and the many cameras in the area capturing your wide eyes.

The reporter addressed you by name before starting to speak.

“Do you know of a man by the name Doh Kyungsoo?” They asked and your world cracked. What on earth had happened? How did they know? All you knew was that it was time for the one acting class your mum had made you take to try and sway you from racing to come to full effect.

“I think he’s from that band Kai’s in, yeah?” You responded after a second of fake pondering. The reporter's eyes narrowed like a hawk.

“You wouldn’t say you were close? Not close enough to get married perhaps?” The reporter asked, clearly trying to stir the pot. Oh my god, was this a prank? How the fuck did they know? How were you supposed to play this off? Would this jeopardize your career?

“Uhhm no…?” You said, incredulously, fixing them a scandalized stare. They sarcastically nodded.

“Oh really? Then what’s this?” They said and shoved their phone closer to your face till you saw a picture of you and Kyungsoo on your wedding day. How did they get this? Had one of your small circle leaked something?

You tried not to let the bewilderment you felt show on your face.

“I’m sorry? Are you trying to pass this off as real? It’s obviously photoshopped! I’m so tired of people trying to fabricate a story of me dating every person I’ve interacted with!” You finally snapped, letting a few years of pent up tension out in this moment. The reporter only continued to smirk.

“Oh really!” They said and you wanted to punch them and their snooty little face. To try and display this, your face fell into one of contempt.

“Is that why this image was posted to Doh Kyungsoo’s official instagram account with the caption ‘Sorry for making you lie to the press for eight years!’?”

They got you there, dam.

Your jaw dropped open, the corners of your mouth rising at the pure hilarity of this situation.

“Excuse me?” You asked, grabbing the phone off the reporter and tapping back onto the post. They were right, Kyungsoo had posted to his official instagram that exact post. It was a carousel post with pictures taken of when you’d lied to the press about him, from the initial lying about being in Seoul to a picture of your ringed necklace to a picture of you smirking after being asked which EXO member was your favourite.

You couldn’t help but release a laugh, your hand traveling to cover your open mouth. Why did he post this?

Wait.

This meant you won the bet. Your head shot up to stare at a camera.

“I won the bet.” You said quietly. The reporter snatched their phone back and stared at you confused.

“What?” They asked and you whipped your head to them, a large smile spreading across your face.

“I won the bet!” You said eagerly, reaching out to grab their shoulders and rock them back and forth.

“I won the bet!!” You ignored how they shook you off, turning to your PR Agent instead and grabbing them and lifting them up. They hurriedly tapped your back as you lifted them, as though signaling you to drop them, but you ignored that and started spinning them around.

“I actually can’t believe it, oh my god!” You snapped out of it and dropped your PR Agent, immediately running out of the media pen and back to your driver room, pulling your necklace out of your racesuit and pulling your rings off, placing them back on their correct fingers.

You quickly packed everything up, ignoring the ringing of your phone as your team tried to get you to go to more press conferences and briefings, and you got out of there, on the first plane to Seoul you could book.

When you arrived, after a long plane trip filled with excitement and pictures being taken of you, decked out in your team's merchandise as you sat buzzing in your seat, your phone was completely blowing up, messages from everyone in your contact list and more. You turned it off (you’d deal with it later) after calling an uber to your apartment.

You were jittery the whole ride, hoping that, despite the time of night, Kyungsoo was still awake. When you arrived outside your apartment building, you felt all the tension in your body ease, and you looked up to see the light on in your window. You smiled and took your suitcase handle in hand and ventured into the building, greeting the old lady at the desk.

Riding the lift up to your apartment nearly had you pacing and you almost ran down the hallway towards your door, quickly knocking. You felt the reverberations in the floorboards as Kyungsoo walked over to the door and a sense of euphoria filled you at the familiarity.

The door was barely open before you launched yourself at Kyungsoo, his heavenly laughter filled your ears as he caught you. You quickly found yourself in a kiss before pulling back and peppering kisses all over his face, finding his giggles more lovely than his singing.

You both pulled back just to look in eachothers eyes and you smiled simultaneously.

“I love you.” You muttered, the happiness from the day finally catching up to you.

“I love you too.” He whispered, tilting his head before going in for another kiss.

“You know.” He began later that night, when you were just lying in bed cuddling together. You turned your head from its position on his chest to look at him, his eyes remaining on the roof.

“I think I won in the end.” You immediately reared your head back, prepared to object at the sheer wrongness of his answer. He anticipated this though and dropped his hand from where it was combing through your hair to your mouth. He also dropped his head as to make eye contact.

“You stuck by me through everything. Even though you had to lie almost every day and had to listen to millions of rumours about me with other people, you still stayed with me. You learned a whole other language just to know people who knew me. Nothing I will ever say will ever put into perspective how much I appreciate what you’ve done for me. The way you’ve loved me will be comparable to nothing other than how much I’ve loved you.” His heartfelt speech made your head vibrate and a few tears left your eyes at his words, him kissing each one away.

You whined deep in the back of your throat and he released a laugh at your response.

“You could’ve just said ‘I love you’.” You said quietly.

“That’s true too.” He said, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

ahh it's over! dividers from this post btw, it's 11:59 pm let me sleep.

433 notes · View notes

hstylesloverr · 2 years

Text

YOUNG LOVE.

evan peters x model!yn

warnings: mentions of the show “dahmer”??, age gap

evanupdates via instagram post

liked by ynfan1, username, evanfan and more

evanupdates “ The funny thing is, when I was offered the part to play Dahmer, I seriously considered turning it down. You know, I didn't think I could measure up. Yes, I had done something similar in American Horror Story, but trying to tell an event as horrific as Dahmer's life and what he did to his victims in such an explicit and realistic way? I really thought I wasn't up to the task. I told my girlfriend that I had been offered a big role and that I was thinking about whether or not to turn it down. She asked me what it was about and well, I told her what the series was about a bit. Then she looked me straight in the eye and simply said, "You have to accept this role."

[…]

Yes, I really think I couldn't have done it without the support I got from the whole team and especially from my girlfriend. You know, she would sit with me every afternoon and we'd spend hours and hours watching documentaries and Dahmer movies, reading police reports, newspapers from the time, whatever. The support I had from her was truly something I will always be grateful for. ”

- Evan talking about the process of accepting his character in the new netflix publicity interview.

view comments

username y/n is the most supportive girlfriend

evanfan2 i love that he’s getting the recognition he deserves, i hope he wins an emmy for his excellent performance

username imagine calling y/n l/n your girlfriend

ynfan evan please come back to ig 😭

username girl literally evan's instagram seemed like a y/n fan account 😭😭😭

evanfan he looks so dilf 😭 @ yourinstagram make our dreams come true

username i love him so so much please 🥲

username i can't express in words how attracted i am to this man.

ahsfan what did i miss? 😭 last time i checked evan was dating emma

ynfan6 girl they broke up in 2015 😭😭😭 you missed a lot

username @ ynfan6 but y/n and evan weren't already dating in 2010? i'm a new fan i’m a lot confused

evanfan9 those were just rumours! y/n and evan were nothing more than close friends until 2016, where they started dating, but they always kept the relationship very private because they were heavily criticized for the age difference

yourinstagram via instagram post

liked by ynfan1, username, harrystyles, kendalljenner and more

yourinstagram posing for the camera as if i just weren’t traumatized.

view comments

username god i wish i looked this pretty being traumatized

ynfan she’s unreal

evanfan3 evan’s a lucky man tbh

honeymoon Pretty girl 💖

username did u liked the show?

yourinstagram i honestly had a really bad time watching it, especially knowing that it’s based on real events. however, i loved the effort and dedication that everyone involved in it put into it.

harryfan1 i'm sick of Harry liking all of this girl's posts 😭

yourinstagram me too

harrystyles Rude.

username @ harryfan1 girl they have been friends since 2015 ? besides, she already has a boyfriend

username she’s an icon she’s a legend and she is the moment

evanfan7 please please please convince evan to get an ig account again 😭

yourinstagram bestie i’ve been trying for 2 years

kendalljenner You look so hot ugh

arianagrande 🤍🤍

ahsfan we all know who took this photo

username i really think evan's gallery is full of silly photos of y/n😅😅 but who knows maybe he hides his photography skills

ynfan5 the most beautiful woman in the world for a reason

evanscult00 i'm literally in love with herrr evan be careful because you and i aren’t friends

ynupdates via instagram post

liked by username, ynfan1, ynfan9, evanfan and more

ynupdates CUTIES 🥹! Y/N and her boyfriend, Evan Peters, in a pub tonight in Paris.

view comments

evanfan no bc this is like the first pic we have of evan IN MONTHS i'm not complaining anyway i love this couple so much

username they both look so happy and comfortable

ynfan1 i want what they have

evanfan2 please they’re such dilf and milf material

username stylish girlfriend 🤝 “i don't care what to wear” boyfriend

evanfan7 will she know all the people who want to be her right now?

evandyn evan said that he was very insecure with girls and that he needed them to be patient with him 😭😭😭 seeing how happy he is with y/n makes me sensitive

ahsfan5 they were written by taylor swift i don’t make the rules

username THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER??? i'm playing lover in my head

ahsfan5 YES YES they also give many cigarettes after sex vibes

ynthrowbacks via instagram post

liked by username, evanfan, ahsfan and more

ynthrowbacks Evan Peters, Y/N’s boyfriend, 10 years ago today.

username she looks so fetus

evanfan1 I love them so much and I really hope to have a relationship as pure as theirs one day

ynfan7 ok but can we talk about the fact that they are 9 years apart?

username !! it always seemed very strange to me, especially because evan doesn't even look like he's 35, but they started dating when y/n was already of legal age, so i guess that’s fine

ynfan9 y/n was 14 years old in that photo and evan 23...

evanfan5 not the new fans being shocked by this 💀💀💀💀 evan has always been heavily criticized for this for all these years even though they were just friends until 2016. they both went through hell with your public opinion until a couple of years ago and now you guys want to bring it back 😅

ynfan4 @ evanfan5 THIS further treating y/n as a little girl when she is now 26 and a fully capable adult

username love this y/n era

evanfan9 THE PIZZA me trying to cook aesthetically

yourinstagram via instagram post

liked by harrystyles, taylorswift13, username, ynupdates, evanfan, kendalljenner and more

yourinstagram you kiss my face and we're both drunk. everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about us

view comments

taylorswift13 💜💜💜

taylorfan1 SPEAK NOW TV????

username she just said that she doesn't give a shit about what you guys talk about her relationship.

ynfan1 swiftie era

yourinstagram wdym im a swiftie since i was born

username why is he kissing her belly?? 👀

evanfan7 here we go again

ynfan2 THE LAST PIC BROOQJDHAKD

username favorite midnights song go

yourinstagram maroon

ynfan9 the publication did not come out more than 10 minutes ago and i have already seen a couple of articles saying that y/n is pregnant like 💀💀💀💀

ahsfan5 I SAID IT I SAID THEY WERE WRITTEN BY TAYLOR

ahsfan7 they’re so cute like 😿😿🥹🥹

username I firmly believe that they are the love of each other's lives

ahsfan IT COUPLEEE

evanfan9O i wonder if y/n will show evan all the goofy edits she sees of him on tiktok

username omg im so embarrassed

#evan peters imagine #evan peters #evan peters x reader #ahs imagine #american horror story #evan peters x you #bella hadid imagine #bella hadid #evan peters x y/n #evan peters smut

2K notes · View notes

likeadevils · 3 months

Text

Reputation Timeline

This is a very long post that puts all the songs on Reputation in order of Taylor creating them. I’ve also included a few other songs she worked on while writing rep and quotes from Taylor and her collaborators talking about her process.

If you don't want to read all that, check out this playlist of the album in order or this playlist of her entire discography.

I’ve also added this color coded scale of how sure I am of the date:

Confirmed: There is some type of official source for the date

Inferring: Nobody has officially said “This is when we wrote it,” but all available evidence points to that date

Speculation: This date is based off pure vibes and guesswork and is highly likely to change.

Unknown: All that is known is the year (from the US Copyright Offices

February 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue is published (likely conducted on January 14/15).

"I don’t worry that I haven’t started the next record yet. I don’t worry that I don’t know what it’s going to be. I’m not worried that I have absolutely no timetable as to when it needs to be done. It could be two years from now; it could be three, it could be four. Or it could be one. You get these bursts of inspiration right at the moment you’re not expecting to. You just have to live your life, and hopefully you’ll take the right risks."

March 2, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a studio. (Note: I can not find a place that specifies if this is a recording studio, dance, photography, radio, or television studio).

May 20, 2015: Taylor's interview with Marie Claire is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).

Taylor is not even sure she'll have made another album by the time 2020 rolls around. "I'm not going to put out an album until I've made one that's better than this one and that's going to be really hard," she says. And how might her music evolve if she does find love? "If that does happen, I think I could find complexity in happiness," she says. "I don't think anything's ever simple. Just because you're happy in a relationship doesn't mean there aren't moments of confusion or frustration or loneliness or sadness. Hopefully, if I ever find some sort of meaningful relationship, I'll be able to still find inspiration, just through everyday ups and downs."

October 7, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a recording studio in New York.

November 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue Australia is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).

Every two years since 2006 she has released an album, followed by a tour, then moved onto the next one. But her latest album, 1989, might change plans a bit. “This album has produced more number ones than any album in the past, so we’re just going to go with it,” she says, going on to explain how the usual album cycle could be extended. “Then I’ll feel like I’ll need to give people a breather from me because at a certain point they’re going to get a little sick of hearing about me, so I’ll need to go away for a while then, depending on my gauge on how sick of me they are, I’ll decide when to put out the next album.” [...] “I’ve been learning every single day what the right amount of sharing [of her personal life] is, and lately it’s been not natural because this album is such a snapshot of my life – it was so vivid, direct and honest.”

April 20, 2016: Taylor interview with Vogue is published (conducted in February).

So what the hell are you going to do with the rest of your life, Taylor Swift? “I have no idea,” she says, with a sigh that’s more blissful than anxious. “This is the first time in ten years that I haven’t known. I just decided that after the past year, with all of the unbelievable things that happened . . . I decided I was going to live my life a little bit without the pressure on myself to create something.” Do not freak: Swift is not abandoning making music. Those who know her know this is chemically impossible. (“Her not being creative is one of the last things I’d ever worry about,” the musician and producer Jack Antonoff tells me later.) “I’m always going to be writing songs,” Swift says. “The thing is, with me, I could very well come up with three things in the next two weeks and then jump back into the studio, and all of a sudden the next record is started. That’s an option, too.” But probably not for the moment.

August 29, 2016: Taylor writes in her diary "This summer is the apocalypse."

Gorgeous: Sep. 1-5, 16, 17, 19 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, Taylor is seen wearing this outfit in her Nashville apartment, which dates the song to September 17. From there, the rest of the dates are just math.

King of My Heart: Sep. 6, 19, 20, 21 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, Taylor is seen wearing the same outfit in the Gorgeous video and the KOMH video. It's also the same outfit as a video she later posted to The Swift Life (RIP) where she talked about how excited she was to be working after a long break.

September 9, 2016: Gigi Hadid says "You know, [Taylor] is starting to go back to work in the studio again."

I Don't Wanna Live Forever: Early Oct. (Speculation)

In a teaser for the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen in an unfamiliar outfit (black mesh top) with bleached hair and a thin gold choker that she was fond of in October 2016. She is not wearing her silver J pendant, which she got as a 27th birthday present (Dec 13, 2016). IDWLF is the only song with no video footage that was written in 2016. I don't recognize the studio in the clip, but she recorded IDWLF with Jack Antonoff, who is based in New York. Taylor was on the east coast until October 22nd, and was seen in New York between October 11-13.

Delicate: Oct. 24-26 (Speculation)

Taylor is seen wearing the aforementioned thin gold choker, with her post Sep. 24 haircut (straight across bangs instead of a side part). Since she normally goes into the studio with Max Martin and Shellback with a few ideas, and creates multiple songs during their sessions, I'm inclined to group this song with IDSB and place it in late October.

I Did Something Bad: Oct. 14, 27 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, at 4:18 you can spot a gold temporary tattoo on the inside of her wrist, similar to ones she was wore at Drake’s Birthday Party on October 23. Since she is seen working until sundown (She leaves LA on October 28) and had to be in Nashville 13 days priar (She was seen in New York City until the 13), October 14 and 27th are the only dates that make sense.

January 3, 2017: Taylor writes in her diary "I get all scared about the future because so much has changed in the last year of my life. I mean this time last year I was living in LA, getting ready for Grammys and now, I’m essentially based in London, hiding out trying to protect us from the nasty world that just wants to ruin things. We have been together and no one has found out for 3 months now. I want it to stay that way because I don’t want anything about this to change or become too complicated or intruded upon. But it’s senseless to worry about someday not being happy when I am happy now. Ok. Breathe."

Don't Blame Me: Jan. 10, 11, 12 (Inferring)

Taylor is seen wearing a similar jacket as she was papped wearing on the 11th in the Making of a Song video. (This is pure speculation on my part, but the mood also seems to be a bit lower than on other days). We know she was in LA around this time “for work.”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: Jan. 11 (Confirmed)

This post explains the situation pretty well. There are multiple accounts of what seems to be a similar story. January 11th one of two times she is seen leaving the gym after a long paparazzi dry spell, the other being in July. Seeing as the song is produced by Max Martin, who is located in LA, and the July pictures are in New York, I’m inclined to agree with the original source.

Dress: Late January/Early February 2017 (Speculation)

Jack Antonoff: “Dress is my second favorite [from Reputation]. It's the first one we made for it." Taylor was mostly based in London in early 2017, but there’s two times we know she was in the states. The first is in early January, when Taylor was in California working with Max Martin and Shellback. The second time is in late January/early February, when she was in Nashville preparing for Super Saturday Night. My guess is this was written in Late January, mostly because she was on the east coast, but theoretically she could've done it earlier in the month, or even later in the year.

Look What You Made Me Do: Late January/Early February 2017 (Speculation)

In promos for the Making of a Song Video, as well as in Miss Americana, Taylor is seen with straight hair and her J initial necklace (dating the song to post-Dec 13, 2016). Her hairstyle (the deep side part) is very Mid-2016. For most of 2017, she seems to favor the straight across braids with strands on the side. Long story short (ha), the hair makes me what to put this as early in the timeline as possible. We know Taylor was on the east coast (specifically Nashville) in early February, preparing for Super Saturday Night.

New Years Day: 2017 (Unknown)

There isn’t any footage of this, but Jack Antonoff has said that it came together fairly quickly and unexpectedly while they were hanging out at his house.

...Ready For It?: May 2017 (Speculation)

In promos for the Making of a Song series, as well as Miss Americana, Taylor is seen with curly hair, her J necklace, and not her Sapphire Evil Eye Ring, which starts showing up on June 27th (We don’t know exactly when or why she got the sapphire ring). . Since the song partially focuses on whether or not her lover is ready for the media frenzy that surrounds dating her, I’m inclined to place this song in May, when her and Joe’s relationship leaked to the press. The song was recorded in Sweden, and we can assume she was in Europe between May 15 and June 1, 2017. (That being said, we can assume she is in Europe for most of the first half of 2017).

Call It What You Want: June 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with straight hair, her J necklace, and not her sapphire evil eye ring. Once again, I am tempted to put this after her relationship leaked to the press, probably in early June (She is in the states on the 1st and 3rd, and probably leaves sometime in mid-June).

End Game: Mid July (Confirmed)

Ed Sheeran has said that the song was written around July 14th, while he was playing in Connecticut and Taylor was in Rhode island. Ed: End Game was written - I was playing Mohegan Sun in Connecticut, and she has a place in Rhode Island, which isn't too far. So she hits me up like, 'I know you're in Connecticut, come around.' I go around, she plays me some of what turned out to be reputation, and plays me this End Game, and I was like 'Man, I really like this. Can I do a verse? Can I do a rap verse?' And she was like, 'Yeah, for sure!' So the next day, I remember, I was in bed, and woke up and got my laptop out, put the song, just looped it, wrote this verse, and I went in with Max Martin, who she did the song with, and recorded it. Then Future did a verse, and then Taylor wrote a verse and we did the video.

Getaway Car: July 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with curly hair, her J necklace, and her sapphire evil eye ring, placing the song sometime shortly before/after June 27th. We know she was in the states for most of July, and in New York City on the 17th and 24th.

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: July 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with straight hair, her J necklace, and her sapphire evil eye ring. For all the same reasons as Getaway Car, this song was probably recorded in July. The exact order of Getaway Car and TIWWCHNT is probably impossible for anyone not involved in the making of the song to know. I could see arguments for either order, but Taylor has said that reputation is in fairly chronological order, I’m putting it in order of tracklist.

So It Goes: September 2017 (Inferring)

Oscar Görres, a cowritter on the song, said he got a call from Max Martin, Shellback, and Taylor asking to use his track after he’d just had a child. According to social media, he had a daughter in 2015 and a son in September of 2017. The interview is a bit confusing, timeline-wise. On one had, Görres says “I’d just become a father,” but then he implies that Max and Shellback had already completed most of the album. (For context, English isn’t his first language). Personally, I believe the believe the September 2017 date. Multiple sessioners have said Taylor said all songs on the album were about her relationship with Joe, and the tracklists in the reputation magazines are out of order, suggesting a late change. Taylor has has also been known to add a song to the album incredibly last minute— most notably Forever & Always on Fearless, but also with Death By A Thousand Cuts on Lover, which had to have been written post April 20, 2019 (but that's for another album).

And that's all for this timeline! Check out my others:

TIMELINES: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights PLAYLISTS: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights • entire discography GENERAL: tag

#txt*#timeline*#taylor swift #sure let’s do it tonight why not

120 notes · View notes

shapeshiftersvt · 1 month

Text

M'Mothm'n.

Here's the thing about the Mothman. Even though he scared the ever-living shit out of the people who saw him, the speculation around him has become, over the years, actually very kind. What if he's only here to help? What if he's trying to warn us about impending disaster? What if that horrible feeling you got that something wasn't right, what if that was the Mothman telling you to look out, be careful, danger is coming, doom is nigh?

It's one thing to be a harbinger of doom; there are apparitions of ghostly black dogs all over the world that will give you that, red eyes and all. It's another to have one who actually means well.

I'm going to be an Old Queer for a minute, now, and talk about gay politics in the USA as I watched it over the past thirty years. My experience is my own; my history is shared, but not universal. Sound off in a reblog if you saw it happen differently. I want your story, too.

There’s a certain line the right wing in this country likes to use against The Gays, one I’ve heard since I was a small child. It goes: queer people are threatening our way of life. Queer people are the pebbles that start the avalanche of apocalypse, the collapse of civilization as we know it. If marriage becomes something other than Man + Woman, or if Man and Woman become something other than we think they are, then we will lose everything we know and love.

The rise of the Respectable Gay in the 1990s was a pushback against this. “See,” cried Degeneres and Savage and all the rest, “see how we’re so very normal? We want to get married and buy a house and have 2.1 kids and a white picket fence. Our marriage doesn’t threaten yours. How could it? We’re just normal, ordinary, white, moderately wealthy, people. We're like you."

This move shifted the narrative across the 90s and 00s. Homosexuality was officially decriminalized in '03, and we got gay marriage in 2015, and every year in between there was another Influential Gay Person saying "I just want to get married, that's all." There were even commercials about it, remember? “Gay marriage is just like yours. Only gayer.”

But... in the mid-2010s this was already wearing thin. Transgender people, gender non-conforming people, gays who didn’t go in for two-person marriage, everyone in the greater LGBTQ+ umbrella who had thrown their support behind gay marriage and waited our turn to get our rights; we'd all been mobilizing, too. We'd been putting together our own coalitions, under the aegis of the greater umbrella or not. And, here's the crux: we were, in fact, threatening the right-wing Christian ways of life. Just by existing in public, by talking and writing and performing and living our lives during the Transgender Tipping Point, trans and non-binary people like me were challenging the foundational definitions of Man and Woman as exclusive, all-encompassing categories of humanity.

It wasn't just the right, either. Straight liberals who were totally on board with gay marriage would look at us and say, "um, wait, really? Really, like that? Do you have to?" The discomfort was palpable. This was my experience with my own family; they were fine with me dating and getting married, but a new set of pronouns was forcing something on them. It was hurting something intrinsic to their identities. It was, in a very real way, threatening them.

I'm happy and grateful to say that most of them learned to discard the parts of their own foundations that excluded me from existence. This is rarely easy for anyone. I'm honestly proud of those members of my family who have learned to look the Mothman in the eyes, so to speak, and think, "He's just here to help."

("Pop your hood up," I told this model, "and look at them. They should see their impending death in your eyes."

Layton is an incredible model, a great human, and they know and love the Mothman. They knew exactly what I meant.)

It can be awful, sometimes. When I'm unapologetically myself in public, I can walk past a line of protesters at Planned Parenthood and see the hostility rise up, the anger and revulsion and fear. And I do think it is fear, at the core of it. I think something in them knows that I'm just one of 2.6 million transgender people out here, living my life, casually being a harbinger of their doom.

Next time they come to Brattleboro, I ought to greet them with red glasses and a twelve-foot wingspan.

#mothman #cryptids #queer cryptids #the cryptid collection #the trans experience

42 notes · View notes

floradinterlunium · 11 months

Text

GCF Tokyo

Will Forever be the Captain of this “Ship.” I wish every supporter of Jikook today could have been in the fandom 5 years ago. Could have had the pleasure of waking up on November 8th to this beautiful declaration of love! Jikook have given us so much since then But this for the moment takes the cake!

youtube

I joined the fandom in 2015 closer to 2016. I was barely in the fandom two weeks before being pretty convinced that Jikook were more than friends ( I can go into detail later about that). I remember constantly being torn between certainty and uncertainty because while jikook were questionable pre 2017, they were still more subtle. However, 2017 was a crescendo, every month getting a tad bit louder...we all knew something was on the horizon and then September hit and JK had a breach in his security and his itinerary was leaked. This sent the fandom into overdrive. Half the fandom scrambling to rid the internet of this info, and the other half torn between letting their curiosity get the best of them and shutting down sesange gossip. However, regardless of where one stood, if you were active in the fandom at all during this time you heard the rumors, you saw the itinerary, you learned about the gossip--JK and JM were going to Tokyo in October for JM’s birthday and JK paid for it. I remember trying hard to not talk about it or think about it. It could very well be a lie and it wasn’t right how we came to learn about it! Bloggers overall did a good job of shutting down discussions on this topic so there was silence on it...until there wasn’t.

Jimin’s birthday comes and goes and no trip. This leaves many to forget the rumors all together. Then October 28th hits and the below pictures are shared.

The whole fandom is going crazy! Jungkook and Jimin are in fact heading to Tokyo. They were spotted at Busan International Airport and seen off by their families. No one wants to say it but we are all thinking it...the rumors were true...and that was a legit sesange.

Every day they are gone we are being shown picture after picture of their time in Tokyo. And I remember thinking...Did JK really pay for all this...did he truly do this for JM’s birthday?!?!

Then the trip was over...the fandom was still recovering from the news that JM and JK literally went on vacation together and it was an all expense paid trip...paid for by none other than JK. Then JM drops another bomb.

The fandom is sent back into overdrive...we could just see the pink aura around them! And it made all of us crazy because we couldn’t believe this was all happening and we were getting to experience it in real time.

And just as we were thinking we are in heaven...JM post his clips of their trip together. We are sent again into party celebration mode.

When I tell you 2017 was the year, it was the year!!! It was day after day of being hit with something new. But just when we thought we were done the crescendo of the year reached it’s peek...JK drops GCF in Tokyo. And there was a short quiet.

There was a quiet stillness because while most of us believed Jikook were a couple, we had resolved ourselves to the fact that we could be wrong. GCF Tokyo changed all that.

I remember watching it over and over and over again thinking...OH MY! This is real...I’ve always felt it was real but this...this makes me know it’s real. It was a quiet but loud realization that reverberated across the fandom. Jungkook is in LOVE LOVE with Jimin. For a moment I thought this was their coming out video...because who could watch this and question Jikook at all! Was this it! Was this their way of telling the world who they love?

While many still found a way to discredit GCFT, I think it was in a way JK’s way of declaring his love to JM, declaring it to anyone that would listen. I believe most of Korea heard it and we heard it! November 8th was the day my certainty turned into assurance. It is one of the most beautiful films and every time I watch it I am in awe of JK’s boldness. My heart melts thinking of JM’s reaction to seeing it for the first time. How loved he must have felt! How surprised...he must have cried so much!

When they returned they kept surprising us. Every year since 2017 has been a little louder. I think GCFT showed them that they could get away with a lot. That they could be a glass closet...they could be loud and people still would feign ignorance or deny it. It gave them a degree of freedom to be themselves without fear of the repercussions. If people weren’t convinced by GCFT they will never be convinced!

I wanted to write about this because I hear many people scoff at any mention of GCFT and say things like...that was years ago! And that bothers me to my core because GCFT is tantamount to a love letter or a proposal. A proposal is a proposal no matter if it was 5 seconds ago or 5 years ago. It doesn’t matter if the couple is still together or not...the proposal happened proving at the very least that love was once there!

Saying that it was years ago is not a rebuttal, I’m not even sure what one is trying to suggest with that statement. Are you saying that because it’s old, it’s irrelevant? If that’s the case you are admitting that 5 years ago it was relevant, meaning you accept that they were dating 5 years ago? But most that make these claims wouldn’t agree to those terms. They throw out that’s old to diminish the impact of it...to pretend like old evidence isn’t evidence today of a relationship.

Saying “ that was years ago” is a senseless statement that holds no genuine meaning. GCF Tokyo will always be proof...even if they broke up it would still be proof that Jikook were in love in 2017! It will always be proof because it’s like a page from JK’s diary...it’s his heart on the screen! It’s his love letter to JM and that will never change. That is a fact and will always stand to be true...10, 20, 100 years from now...GCFT will still be JK’s love letter! No amount of time changes that.

Now we can all argue when their relationship started and we all have our theories but stamp in the timeline that is certain is November 8, 2017. They were definitely in a committed relationship at that time and since I see no change in their dynamics other than growing intimacy, domesticity, and comfort...it’s safe to assume that their timeline is still active and moving.

#jikook #kookmin #gcf tokyo #jimin #jungkook #jikook is real #jk loves jimin #jimin loves jk

136 notes · View notes

blackwolfstabs · 6 months

Text

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 18

LETTER

Sam wrote a letter to Tara before she left for 5 years.

the timeline for Scream V & Scream VI is messed up, so i'm considering the year by doing math from Sam's birth year: 1997. when she turned 18, it would've been 2015, even though Scream V took place in 2022, which would've had Sam be gone for 7 years instead of 5 but whatever.

May 19, 2015

My dearest Tara,

You know that I love you. I’ve loved you, ever since I first laid eyes on you. I was only 5 years-old when you were born, yet I remember every detail. It was the best moment of my life. It still is. I love you more than words on Earth can describe.

But I’m so sorry. No matter how hard I try to fight it, I can’t help but feel that I have to leave.

Know that I tried very hard to stay.

I’m so sorry for the pain I’ve caused you over the years. I know I changed. Let’s just say that I grew up faster than I was supposed to. But it was never your fault, so don’t blame yourself, okay? I made a mistake that I shouldn’t have made. I knew better. Much better than to do what I did, but now I can’t take it back. I made the wrong choice, and I will be eternally damned because of it. It’s not your fault. It’s mine. Some things just aren’t meant to last forever. Dad wasn’t meant to last with Mom, and I’m not meant to last with you. But understand that my love for you will last, forevermore.

Please do not cry or feel sad for me. It won’t hurt for too long. You’re growing up, which means my job as your big sister has come to an end. I think of all the days you’ve known, all the ways you’ve grown. Tara, I couldn’t not be more proud of you. The life I had as your big sister—holding you, reading to you, playing with you, teaching you, laughing with you, crying with you, I could go on and on—was worth all of my existence, and I would do it a thousand times over again, if only I could stay with you. I pray that you’re able to open your heart to another, who can take care of you as I have done and promise forever.

Thank you for the time we had together. I’ve never felt so loved, and no one in this world will ever love me more. Yes, we’re sisters. We fought and tattled on each other. We got on each other’s nerves and even resented each other, as siblings do without truly knowing what it is to hate or not want each other around. But you were my everything. You made me laugh, you made my cry, you made me strong, you made me weak. You made me feel like there was no one else in the world besides you and me. It was us against the world. Oh, how I wish that could have lasted longer.

I don’t want to live without you, so my heart is broken, but I’m able to smile, knowing you’ll be much better with me out of your life. Mom will be better. She won’t be angry anymore. It will bring her peace, and therefore, you will find peace as well. Smile that gorgeous smile, and live in the light. Please, promise me you’ll never lose that smile. It could light up all of the world, if given the chance. It’s too precious to be lost. Enjoy your friends, follow your dreams, and become anything and everything you want to be. You can do it, I know you can. You remember when you used to talk in 3rd person? I would have something and you would point to it and say “that’s Tara’s”. Go point to the world, baby girl. That’s Tara’s. Go change it. Go make it yours. The world is Tara’s, and I’m so honored to have been able to be a part of it.

Please, my love, please live. I beg you. Live for the life ahead of you. You are going to do so many amazing things, and I can only hope that when every one of those times come, somehow, I’ll know.

I wish I could hold you one more time and tell you how much I love you. Your love has given me so much happiness and purpose. I can never thank you enough for that. My heart will always belong to you, no matter how far away I am, and if this world is truly beautiful, may you and I find each other in the next life.

I will miss you with every beat of my heart. I love you, and I always will.

Live well. Stay safe. Be happy.

Goodbye.

— Sam

The teardrops that fell from her eyes dampened the paper, right next to where she signed her name. It was 5:30 AM. The whole house was dark and quiet. Sam folded the letter up and covered her mouth to muffle the sobs she couldn’t hold back as she left her room. She couldn’t bear looking at Tara’s bedroom door, when passing it in the hallway, the countless memories they’d spent in and out of there hitting her like lightning.

She made it down the stairs and slipped it into Tara’s backpack that sat by the front door.

This was it. Once she walked out that door, what was done was done. There was no going back.

And she did, squeezing the straps of her own backpack to keep herself from running back inside.

‘Don’t turn around. Don’t turn around.’

She played that mantra on repeat as she stalked the pre-dawn streets, alone. Where was she going? Anywhere she could get away from what lived inside of her. What she would spend forever trying to outrun…

She was going where no one would know the blood spilled behind her name.

The letter she’d just written haunted her, making her imagine all the different ways her baby sister might take it when she read it. All she could hope for was that she would understand. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe someday…

But what she never knew was that the letter would never make it to Tara’s eyes. In fact, she would never even know it had been written in the first place.

Christina found it minutes after Sam left.

And she ripped it up.

i cried for 30 minutes after writing this. seriously, i was sobbing, and i couldn't stop. Sam and Tara just run way too deep with me, i swear.

special thanks to "Happy/Sad" from The Addams Family, performed by Nathan Lane & kaelyngray on AO3.

All my best ♡ - parker

#scream #scream v #scream vi #sam carpenter #tara carpenter #carpenter sisters #christina carpenter #ao3 author #ao3 #ao3 writer #ao3 fanfic #30 day writing challenge #letter #AU: The Way I Am

44 notes · View notes

goodnightmemes · 1 year

Text

HALSEY / BADLANDS (2015) STARTERS

❛ Sick of all these people talking, sick of all this noise. ❜

❛ Now my neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it. ❜

❛ Already choking on my pride, so there's no use crying about it. ❜

❛ I'm headed straight for the castle. ❜

❛ They wanna make me their queen. ❜

❛ I sold my soul to a three-piece; And he told me I was holy. ❜

❛ Hold me down. ❜

❛ Throw me in the deep end, watch me drown. ❜

❛ We are the new Americana. ❜

❛ What kind of dough have you been spending? ❜

❛ What kind of bubblegum have you been blowing lately? ❜

❛ All we do is drive, ❜

❛ All we do is think about the feelings that we hide. ❜

❛ All we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign. ❜

❛ Sick and full of pride. ❜

❛ Would it really kill you if we kissed? ❜

❛ I let him climb inside my body; And held him captive in my kiss. ❜

❛ I'm a wanderess. ❜

❛ I'm a one night stand. ❜

❛ Don't belong to no city; Don't belong to no man. ❜

❛ I'm the violence in the pouring rain; I'm a hurricane. ❜

❛ And I found myself reminded; To keep you far away from me. ❜

❛ Well, lately I like 'em crazy. ❜

❛ Do you remember the taste of my lips that night. ❜

❛ I remember the fear in your eyes. ❜

❛ Didn't know where we were running to; But don't look back. ❜

❛ I imagine the tears in your eyes; The very first night I'll sleep without you. ❜

❛ I'm searching for something that I can't reach. ❜

❛ I don't like them innocent. ❜

❛ I like the sad eyes, bad guys; Mouth full of white lies. ❜

❛ Where'd you go? ❜

❛ What happened to the soul that you used to be? ❜

❛ You say that you're no good for me. ❜

❛ Saying that I love him but I know I'm gonna leave him. ❜

❛ You're only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope. ❜

❛ I hope you make it to the day you're 28 years old. ❜

❛ You're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece. ❜

❛ You were a vision in the morning when the light came through. ❜

❛ I know I've only felt religion when I've lied with you. ❜

❛ And I'm still waking every morning but it's not with you. ❜

❛ They think I'm insane. ❜

❛ I don't have to fucking tell you anything. ❜

❛ Well, is this fine? Will it be alright? ❜

❛ That's the beauty of a secret; You know you're supposed to keep it. ❜

❛ I found God; I found him in a lover. ❜

❛ I found the Devil; I found him in a lover. ❜

❛ A love like religion. ❜

❛ I'm such a fool for sacrifice. ❜

❛ I'm such a fool to pay this price. ❜

❛ 'Cause he's off to pay his crimes; And he's got no time for mine. ❜

❛ Keep on haunting me. ❜

❛ I was as pure as a river; But now I think I'm possessed. ❜

❛ You put a fever inside me; And I've been cold since you left. ❜

❛ You've got a fire inside but your heart's so cold. ❜

❛ I've done some things that I can't speak. ❜

❛ I've tried to wash you away but you just won't leave. ❜

❛ 'Cause I came here so you'd come for me. ❜

❛ Are you insane like me? Been in pain like me? ❜

❛ Do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me? ❜

❛ You can't wake up, this is not a dream. ❜

❛ You're part of a machine, you are not a human being. ❜

❛ Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline. ❜

❛ I think there's a flaw in my code. ❜

❛ These voices won't leave me alone. ❜

❛ Well my heart is gold, and my hands are cold ❜

❛ Are you deranged like me? Are you strange like me? ❜

❛ They're coming for me. ❜

❛ And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ❜

❛ My mind's like a deadly disease. ❜

❛ I'm meaner than my demons. ❜

❛ I'm bigger than these bones. ❜

❛ Please stop, you're scaring me. ❜

❛ I can't help this awful energy. ❜

❛ Goddamn right, you should be scared of me. ❜

❛ Who is in control? ❜

❛ I couldn't stand the person inside me. ❜

❛ I've grown familiar with villains that live in my head. ❜

❛ You know we're gonna be legends. ❜

❛ I know you wanna go to heaven but you're human tonight. ❜

❛ Do you feel like a young god? ❜

❛ You know the two of us are just young gods. ❜

❛ Don't get cut on my edges. ❜

❛ My tongue is a weapon. ❜

❛ If you wanna go to heaven you should fuck me tonight. ❜

❛ I walk the line. ❜

❛ Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you. ❜

#rp meme #sentence starters #rp sentence meme #Lyric Meme #lyric starters #rp prompt #roleplay meme #roleplay prompts #sentence meme #rp memes #rp starters #*lyrics

115 notes · View notes

bloomingforerza · 7 months

Text

Echos — levi x reader one-shot/lyric-shot.

notes from bloom: hi!!!! its been quite some time since i’ve written a one shot. no smut in this one!!! just jerk cheater ex boyfriend eren in a hurt/comfort levi x reader. this song is one of my all time favorite songs (my goal is to write a song fic for my 3 all time favorite songs). i originally wrote a (much shorter and cringier) one-shot back in 2015 to this song but i loved it so much i felt like i should rewrite it. pLEASE give me feedback? its always welcome :) i’m gonna link the song below in case you’d like to listen. happy reading!!!!

word count: 4,791

character count (excluding spaces): 20,600

masterlist

my mind’s at erase

and my thoughts are done

i’ve been meaning to tell you this

since my lies begun

Things were taking a turn for the worse in your life these days. You’d just gotten out of a relationship with your long-term boyfriend, Eren. He hadn’t always been this way. Things started getting bad after you found out from your best friend, Hanji, that he was cheating on you.

You had been together since high-school, everyone knew you two because you were always attached at the hip. You were voted most likely to get married in superlatives, and you were at every football game he had. 6 years isn’t something you can just throw away the way he did.

He used to be sweet. He would invite your friends out with you guys on occasion, and he’d dote on you at all times. You remember first words to him after Hanji told you were, “How could you Eren? After all this time?” You remember the sharp piercing feeling in your chest, tears running down your cheeks, and he had the nerve to start an argument with you. Gaslight, tell you Hanji’s lying, tell you it’s your fault, how you weren’t satisfying him enough. But when you’d tried to leave, he’d tried to forbid it. “You can’t leave, (Y/n), please, I won’t let you, I won’t do it again.”

Even past dating, you’ve known Eren since middle school. But he needed to go, and you were not even ready to think about forgiveness. You didn’t think if you’d ever forgive him.

Hanji on the other hand, Hanji kept telling you you cannot forgive him. You have no reason to forgive him. But you just couldn’t help yourself for wanting to.

the way i feel inside

reflects of the souls in your eyes

i’ve been meaning to tell you this

all my life

You’d taken some time off work, told your boss you had a family emergency. Hanji, being the angel that she is, came to comfort you. You were not ready to go into work yet, you didn’t know how to handle yourself right now.

She mentioned introducing you to a coworker of hers who’d been going through a similar experience. She said talking to him might help you find closure within yourself. She set up an afternoon for both of you to meet up with him this weekend at a coffee shop you used to love.

That was the problem. You lost yourself in Eren. The hardest part about coping is that everything you like reminds you of him, and you can’t remember what you liked before him. Sometimes you remember, times like this. You associate that coffee shop with good friends and good memories. He never liked this coffee shop, he said their coffee tasted like tap water and mud. Ever since you’d moved out with him, you had stopped going.

Maybe meeting with this ‘Levi’ would be a good thing for you.

But you still had other short comings to manage, like the fact that you couldn’t refuse Eren when he asked you to let him get his stuff the Friday after. Your gut knew he’d try to convince you to take him back. But you needed answers before you could even consider it an option.

Friday morning comes, and you ask Hanji to hold off coming over for a few hours. You wanted to let Eren share his thoughts, but you didn’t want to say a word to him. So the moment he arrived, everything was awkward and silent and dreadful. You sat in the kitchen after letting him in, just letting him collect his things in peace.

But you knew it in the back of your mind, the thought ‘he’s going to try to convince you to let him back in’ screaming in the back of your mind. And you still gave him the benefit of the doubt, with hope in your heart, that he wouldn’t try to lie or manipulate his way out of it this time.

But boy was your mind right, and that fact did not aid your heart as it shattered once more. “I promise, Mikasa didn’t mean anything to me Y/n. Just listen.” he cried when you were telling him to leave after he’d packed everything.

“No. I won’t listen. How long have you been seeing Mikasa, Eren?” Your response is cold, dripping venom. You were doing everything to keep your guard up.

“I can’t tell you.” He began to cry again, not knowing how to win you back. It killed him, and it hurt you to see him crying at your feet like this.

“Yes, you can. How long have you been seeing Mikasa?” You ask again, and he grips his hair and looks at the floor, not being able to meet your gaze when he whispers out, “3 years.”

“THREE YEARS?” You’re yelling. You never yell, but why are you yelling? Why are you letting him see how hard this hurts you?

“(Y/n), I—“ He’s sobbing, but just as he’s about to try and spew out more ridiculous shit, Hanji’s car pulls up to your apartment. You can see the hurt and emotions you’re displaying reflecting off of his beautiful green eyes, and it makes it so much harder for you to send him away.

“I’ve heard enough, you need to leave. Hanji’s about to come inside and she’s going to murder you if you’re here.” You don’t even look at him, giving him the warning that you would let Hanji beat him up.

Eren grabs the rest of his bags and walks out as Hanji’s getting out of her car. The death glare you watch her give him is insane. It was 2:01, and to be fair, you told Hanji it should only take him an hour and a half. For everything that Hanji is and everything that she lacks, at least she’s here when you need her to be here.

You’re sobbing when she finally walks in, the composure you held breaking as he left. You couldn’t fight it anymore, and Hanji ran over to you instantly to let you know how much she loves you and how proud of you she is. The way that you carried yourself and held your self respect showed strength.

to think of who i am

shows much of what you were too

slowly i realize

i’ll be fine without you

Hanji took you out the day after for that for coffee with her coworker. She was good friends with this person, but she didn’t tell you much about them. She did however tell you to ‘not dress homeless’ and to dress ‘how you would on a good day.’ If that was meant to be a compliment, it feels more like a ridiculous insult to your already sensitive heart.

She was very excited, for reasons unbeknownst to you. She was doing a poor job at hiding her giddiness as well, twitching and smiling to herself. Looking back on it now you can understand why, but back then it seemed like she was just being her normal, weird-self.

When you walk in, there’s a nice jazzy coffeehouse vibe. The smell of grinding arabica coffee beans and dripping espresso slaps you in the face, but Hanji’s instantly darting over to her friend. A man, Hanji failed to mention, but he was pretty. It was a thought you had to shove out of your mind.

He had long, soft black hair with an undercut below. His jaw was well cut, and his face seemed almost fixed into a frown. He had a nice earring in one ear, and some tattoos here and there. He was dressed nicely in some casual jeans and a t-shirt. “This is Levi,” She introduces. You glance at Hanji after trying to not make it obvious you were inspecting him, but she had her arm locked over his shoulders. Hanji was pretty tall, but you were always on the short side, but Levi was short too.

You wanted to trust Hanji’s intuition though, and just sat across from him. Hanji finished bothering the unnamed man, and sat beside you. After ordering some drinksb to the table, you couldn’t help but feel awkward as Levi and Hanji began to talk about work related stuff.

You wanted to trust Hanji, you really did, but you couldn’t understand what she wanted out of this. You instead opt to wait for your coffee quietly. Unfortunately the plan isn’t ever gonna go the way you want it if Hanji is around.

And she started to tell Levi about your job, which Levi seemed really interested in and asked you all kinds of questions. He was fascinated about some things, and genuinely seemed like he wanted to hear more from you. You quickly bonded over similar interests like tea and fine art, but you’ve learned that he just appreciates art rather than enjoys making it himself.

After you three finished your drinks, you talked for another three hours before you all left. Hanji put you and Levi into a group chat before he left, making him aware she was going to be pestering the both of you often. Levi and Hanji started working together around the same time, also around the same time you started college and met Hanji.

Hanji was a teacher’s assistant and a junior in your chemistry class freshman year, and she helped you a lot with coming out of your shell after entering college.

But when you’re remembering that, you can’t help yourself but remember that Eren and you had just started living in an apartment together as well. And now its been 4 years since then, and you still can’t find closure or comfort in your thoughts. Where did everything go wrong for the two of you? It will take so much time to heal, but you know that you’ll get there on your own eventually.

i gave you your chances

and just put them aside

to find out too late

of who i am inside

Regretful isn’t a good word to describe how you’re feeling. You loved Eren so much, but when you realize how much time and effort you put into your relationship with him just to be cheated on for half of it makes you feel so disconnected with yourself. You’re remorseful, and you feel like you’ve betrayed yourself at the end of the day.

You’ll never forget the night last year that he didn’t show up for a date he had planned for you after class. He said it’d be a surprise, and he told you to wait outside of your campus. He was going to come pick you up. But 5 minutes of waiting had eventually turned into an hour and five minutes of waiting, and you eventually went home. Eren wasn’t even at the apartment.

His excuse was that he got held up at school because he had been assigned some group project and his partners made him stay to help start it. Of course you believed him. However, when memories like this come to mind, all you can think about now was, ‘Was he seeing Mikasa?’

Not trying to let thoughts like this bring your progress to a halt, you ask Hanji to arrange another hangout with Levi. He was really nice, and you appreciated his company the first time around. Of course she over-excitedly screamed out an, “OF COURSE I CAN MAKE PLANS FOR US AGAIN!” Before immediately grabbing her phone and texting him.

You really were so thankful to have someone like Hanji here beside you to help you through this, but sometimes you felt like you were losing yourself. You couldn’t remember what you enjoyed before Eren, so how were you going to find yourself again?

And when she asked if there was anything you wanted to do before she just picked something, you felt so ashamed of yourself for not knowing what to say. What did you enjoy doing? It felt like every answer to that question had always been associated with Eren. “Fuck you, Eren.” You mumbled to yourself.

“Where did that come from?” Hanji laughs. “Not that I disagree, but we can’t exactly pick that for a hangout activity.” She giggles, You give her a raised brow, but you smile at her idiocy none the less. Eventually, given that it’s apple picking season, she suggests the three of you go apple picking. You have no objections, and you tell her to not force Levi into it if he’s not up for the idea. Of course though, in true Hanji fashion, her response is, “Levi never has choices when it comes to me.” with her classic devilish grin.

show me yourself, come show me who you are

these are the times we wish it never went this far

hidden by your words, oh god please let me see

how someone plays with feelings oh so carelessly

You’ve only been apple picking once and it was with Eren. The saddest after thought, it was 4 years ago. In your head, that meant he’d given up after he started seeing Mikasa in secret.

But you can’t think about that. You asked Hanji for this, you wanted to have a good day. But your intrusive thoughts weren’t being nice today in particular, and you knew at some point you were probably going to spiral out.

Once you arrived at the orchard, your stomach felt uneasy. You didn’t know what was making you feel this way. Hanji had sensed that you were off, so she kept trying to redirect your mind without asking you if you were ‘okay.’ She knew what the answer to that would be.

As you’re walking up to meet Levi with Hanji, you feel like things might just be okay. You continue on with your day, the three of you walked around and you got to know Levi a bit better. He was really nice to you, even though he spoke so harshly to Hanji. It made you laugh when he’d immediately change his tone after speaking with you.

But all good things always seem to have to come to an end for you. After picking the apples, Hanji really wanted an apple cider donut. She dragged you and Levi into the small shop the orchard had on the property, trailing behind the two. But the minute you stepped inside, you saw him. Eren, standing in line at the counter with Mikasa. He had his arm around her waist while she ordered what she wanted.

The sight had your stomach dropping entirely. You finally understood where all the anxiety was coming from. Your gut knew he was here. You looked at Hanji immediately, who hadn’t noticed the pair, and slightly motioned your head in Eren’s direction. Right after, you look over at Eren once more, but this time your eyes lock with his. You turn around and run out, not having any strength left to put up with him.

You stand outside, and from the other side of the door you can hear the voices of Levi and Hanji arguing with Eren.

You eventually just walk away. You walk back towards the apple trees, wanting some peace of mind. Only two minutes later, you could hear someone running up behind you, and you turned to see Levi. He had ran outside to look for you.

“Hey.” He said casually when he stood beside you. “Hanji’s still arguing with him, she can go at it all day.” He informs you, to which you smile a bit. Hanji was a great friend, and you knew she’d drag Eren to Hell with her if she had the opportunity to.

“Why’d you come out here?” You ask curiously, not looking at him after you said it. You didn’t want him to think you he wasn’t wanted there, but you also were still unsure of his reasons.

“To check on my friend.” He glances at you out of the side of his eye while the two of you walk through the orchard together. “I want you to know (Y/n), you aren’t alone in this. For starters, your weird friend is inside ready to square up with your shithead ex-boyfriend.” You laugh loudly at his statement, and you catch him smiling a little at you through your peripheral vision. “There’s also me, who wants to in any way I can. I was in your position a few weeks ago.”

You and Levi hadn’t had the chance to talk one on one yet, but the conversation lasted for so long you had almost forgotten about Hanji. But to little surprise, as you two had turned to walk back to the shop, there she was trying to stealthily hide behind an apple tree.

“Hey four eyes, I wouldn’t exactly call that a hiding spot.” Levi calls.

“No one said I was trying to hide Levi.” She lightly punches his arm, and you smile.

Although you had a minor (alright, personally huge) bump in the road, these two really came through for you today.

give me your heart to come and be in one

vulnerable i was, please come and steal and run

just as we laughed, kissed,i looked deep in your eyes

to tell you how i felt, came one without reply

A few months later, you and Levi had started dating. The trauma and trust issues you have now make things really hard for you sometimes, but Levi is always ever so patient with you.

When he said I love you for the first time almost a year in, you almost had a panic attack. When you told Eren you loved him, he didn’t answer you right away. He told you he couldn’t say it back yet. The saddest part was you can’t remember if there was a time he ever said it back.

You didn’t understand the feeling of someone loving you. Eren neglected you so horribly in your relationship, and Levi tries to give you all of the attention you need to make up for it. All of the kisses that you’d missed, all the snuggles that had you shaking from being touch starved, all of the dates you’d never been on until Levi.

Levi makes everything better. He made you feel so secure and so safe, like you were the most precious person on the Earth. He needed to show you how worthy you were, because he knew exactly how unworthy you felt. He told you that helping you helps him find his worth, relieves him of his traumas from Petra.

He shared with you one day that as a result of Petra’s cheating, he felt like he wasn’t keeping her safe enough, wasn’t making her feel loved enough. Even if it wasn’t the case, he needs you to feel loved enough, especially knowing you were lacking so much of it for almost 6 years.

But after some more months of working together, you’ve grown to see 18 months as a couple. When you hit milestones like this, you always love to take time for you and Levi to self reflect. If Hanji hadn’t introduced you to Levi when she did, you’d have no idea where you’d be in this moment.

Just because you hadn’t met him wouldn’t have changed the fact Eren still cheated on you. You don’t think you’ll ever be able to change the dull ache you feel when you think of your childhood with him, but there’s no grief left for the love you had. But years of birthday’s, christmas’, thanksgiving’s and even valentine’s day memories can’t just be erased so quickly.

But time works in funny ways.

And after 4 years, Levi decided you had to be his forever. He wanted you to know how much you meant to him, and he knew you felt the same as he did.

You still thought of Eren at times, but there were still no regrets. Even years after, you wish him the best. But you can’t imagine marrying anyone other than Levi. Levi’s been the main source of your happiness.

He drags you out one night to a small lake in a park. The lake was kind of hidden, trees surrounding it and only one open crawl space. There were fireflies illuminating over the pond, and you could hear the chorus of cicadas echoing through the warm, humid air around you.

He’s helped you through most of it. The nights he held you because you couldn’t stop your intrusive thoughts, when you’d cry to yourself sometimes after saying a certain word or phrase, how you couldn’t bring yourself to watch your favorite television shows anymore. “Were they ever my favorites, or were they Eren’s favorites?” You’d ask yourself, questioning everything and bringing yourself to the point of an existential crisis. But Levi would always find a way to ground you.

Even on the other end, there would be times Levi would seem withdrawn and distant from his own intrusive thoughts. You knew he didn’t want any bullshit comforting words, so your go to form of care was to make him his favorite tea. When you first slept over his apartment after a few months into dating him, he’d tried to hide his silent cries from you. You turned over and held him though, and you’d promised yourself right then and there that you would always be there to hold him.

echoes is all i hear

i’m running, i’m running, i’m running

let go is all i fear

i’m running, i’m running, i’m running

After almost three solid years of dating Levi, it had almost felt like a whisper in the back if your mind. But you would never forget, and unfortunately Levi had the same trauma. But he took extra good care of you on your three year anniversary together.

In fact, Hanji had dragged you to the park that afternoon. “What’s wrong with taking a walk with your best friend?” She argued with you, and you couldn’t help rolling your eyes at her.

“Hanji, how many years have we been friends and when have you ever dragged me to the park for a WALK?” Your eyebrow is raised and the tone you use sounds almost motherly. “Are you a dog?” You add some banter, and the side eye you received had you cackling.

“No, you idiot, I’m not a dog. I needed some fresh air is all.” She’s looking around almost suspiciously as she says this though, and you just know something’s up. “Hey, there’s this new art display at the pier over here, we should pop by and see it.” She suggests, and you nod slowly. What is she up to?

“Yeaaaaahhhh, sure.” You’re reluctant, but follow anyway. You honestly had no idea what Hanji was doing right now, she’s not the type to go for random walks.

But as you walk closer to the pier, you could see lights in the distance. Not flashy ones, but it seemed pretty bright over there. You grew excited to see whatever silly art display she was talking about, but you weren’t going to tell her that.

“We’re almost there, you have to close your eyes!” She yells, and you release a groan.

“Hanji, how am I going to walk? Why am I closing my eyes for an art display?” You do so nonetheless, and she grabs your shoulders.

“I got’chya. Come on!” She’s guiding you the rest of the way while you cover your eyes. After walking a few more feet, she gives you the cue to open. But what you saw nearly brought you to tears.

This wasn’t just an art display. There was an arch, fairy lights glowing different shades of white, while they had wisteria to accentuate them. Beautiful white orchids and daisies to accent long strands of ivy. Near the center of the arch was Levi waiting, looking out at the ocean. He was as handsome as he always was, but he dressed himself in a nice white button down with some black jeans tonight. The sight of all of it made your eyes swell up.

And that was how he proposed. Hanji hid your friend Sasha in the bushes, wanting her to get amazing photos of it all. And when you look back at them now with him years later, you can’t help but almost feel like you’ve fallen in love all over again. Not like you could ever grow tired of him of course.

He took extra care to make sure that you understood how loved and important he was to you. After 3 years of being married, he had told you that he’d chosen to propose after your three year anniversary so you would never have a doubt about his faith or loyalty to you. He loved you so much, he knew you were going to be the one he needed for the rest of his life. He’d remind himself of that every time you came through for him.

The thought that Levi had put into your relationship with him was so meaningful to you. Sometimes you’d laugh over the way he’s speak to you and the way he’d speak to anyone else. You feel like Hanji gets the worst of it, but you know she can be much at times.

You were so thankful for the both of them. Hanji was already your maid of honor before you’d even decided anything else. She wasn’t just the reason you and Levi met, but she was also the bestest friend you’d truly ever had.

let go, i can’t let go

Sometimes, Eren creeps back into your mind. After so many years, sometimes it feel like you still have a hole in your heart. The childhood you’d spent with him, all the way up to school where you’d been in the same class every year. Prom, two graduations, moving out, college, all of it.

But then you’d remember how full your heart was when you’d found out you were pregnant. Pregnant with Levi’s baby.

You loved Levi so much. He made you feel safe, loved and protected. You may never fully heal from Eren, it feels like your childhood blanket was ripped out of your hands. But even so, the love you receive from your husband fills that grief up and scares away your demons. And in the end, it’s always going to be Levi.

Levi saved you when he’d met you, and he saves you every time you find yourself spiraling out about something that reminded you of Eren. But you always remember that Levi is good, it’s almost like he purposely tries to prove himself to you every day. Hanji says you deserve it after forgetting what real love felt like.

He never missed a beat when it came to holidays, birthdays, or special occasions. He loved to dress up with you, even if he’d complain about it the entire day. you knew he loved to match outfits with you because you eventually started to get his input on them as well. At weddings, he’d love to just hold you on the dance floor. He always shows up, even after you’d started your own family with him. He’s promised himself that he would always show up for your kids. Your oldest, your son Emile, was very much like you. Kind-hearted with tons of energy. He loved to play sports, especially soccer. Your daughter, Vydia, loved to figure skate. Levi showed up to every soccer match and every skate competition, he would always make time for his kids.

You’ll never be able to let go of Eren entirely, he’ll always take the title of first love. He took almost every first he could, and he holds a portion of your heart and remains in your memories. But Levi was the first person to pull you out. He helped make everything better, and then you fell in love with him. He was your first (and last!) fiancé and husband, which he took so much pride in. He was the first person to promise you forever, and a forever he gave.

Because the love you have for Levi, the way you feel, is much more important and serious than the childish fantasy Eren gave you. You’ve always verbally and physically told him how grateful you were, but you never felt like it was enough. And at the end of the day, every single night since you got married, you always just had to settle for;

“Thank you, Levi. I love you so much.”

so fall away is what i’ll do

it’s what i’ll do

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan #lyric fic #song fic #aot x female reader #attack on titan headcanons #anime x reader #female reader #hurt/comfort #angst #fluff #Spotify

27 notes · View notes

thisaintascenereviews · 2 days

Text

Our Favorites Of The Year (So Far), Part One: April 2024

By Bradley Christensen & @jakeh2987

At the end of every year, I’m always amazed when peoples’ yearend lists come out, because it takes me awhile to fathom that it’s really the end of another year. Aside from Christmas, which is what most people associate with that time of year, I love “list season.” Publications of all kinds put out their yearend lists, and I just love seeing what people have been into the entire year. It feels like yesterday I was talking about my favorite media from the entire year, so I thought I’d “check-in” in the beginning, middle, and (obviously) the end of the year. I’m not doing this alone, however, because I thought I’d bring along my buddy Jake. We worked together on a yearend piece last year, too, and I thought it would be fun to work on something like this again, at least checking in periodically with each other and seeing what we’ve been into throughout the year, as well as how the year’s been going when it comes to media of all kinds. With that said, it’s good to have you back, Jake! It feels like deja vu, because it feels like we just did this, but I digress, how’s this year been treating you so far, Jake? How do you think this year has been in comparison to last year?

First of all, thank you for having me back to do this! I had a blast working on our year-end wrap up last year, so I jumped at the chance to do something similar. To answer your question, though, I feel like this year has been really stacked in terms of new releases in not only music, but a lot of different forms of media. Last year was incredible, for sure, but I feel like a lot of it was backloaded in the second half of 2023. This year, on the other hand, I felt like there’s been at least one or two new things to be excited about every week really since the start of the year, but especially so in the last couple of months. I had a look at my top 10 albums, and I think almost all of them have come out after the first week of March, which has been great. But, we’ll get to that later. For now, though, I say we take a look back at the broader picture for a second! Last year, we talk about how we often found ourselves falling back into old comforts, whether that be favorite artists, that TV show you’ve binged far too many times before, and so on. For the first bit of this year, I kinda feel like I’ve been a lot more open to discovering new things and stepping outside of my comfort zone, so I’m curious, how does it feel for you?

Last year definitely had a theme of listening to what I call “ol’ reliable” types of media. A lot of my favorite pieces of media were from old favorites, whether I was revisiting them again for the first time in awhile, or old favorites releasing new albums, movies, or shows that I could easily get into and gave me a nice sense of nostalgia. I would say that this year, at least so far, is a mixture of both being adventurous and discovering some new things and still revisiting some of those same “comfort foods,” so to speak. Looking at the big picture of how media has gone this year, it’s certainly been steady since March with at least one album per week that I’m listening to (almost my whole top ten is from the last couple of months as well), and we’ve been getting a steady stream of movies and shows that are worth watching and talking about. Speaking of which, let’s start with movies and TV, what have you been watching this year?

Okay, this is where I get to gush about the new Fallout show that just premiered on Amazon Prime Video a couple weeks ago. I’m not super familiar with the games, having only put a few hours into Fallout 4 way back in 2015, but when the first trailer for this show dropped, I knew I was gonna be in for this. I’m a sucker for a sci-fi/post apocalypse setting, and from what I do know from the games, there was gonna be a blend of dark humor/satire along with the high-stakes drama. I ended up watching the whole season in about a week, and I really loved it. The creative team behind the show did about the best thing you could do for a video game adaptation; it’s set within the universe and continuity of the games, but it’s a new story with new characters, so they were able to tell their own story while still nailing that Fallout vibe. Also, come on, Walton Goggins playing a post-apocalyptic cowboy bounty hunter, how can you not love that? But for real, this show was a blast, and I’m happy it’s already been renewed for a second season, because I can see this show being a great time for many years to come.

Aside from that, though, I did see the Mean Girls musical movie from earlier this year, and while I don’t think it was all that great (and I don’t necessarily love the original, either), it’s pretty clear why Renee Rapp is a rising star, she was great in it and can definitely sing. I’ve also been making my way through a super casual Criminal Minds rewatch, it’s been a long while since I’ve watched a lot of the early stuff, so I like having it on in the background while I do other things, but I still love this show a lot. How about you, though?

When it comes to TV and movies, I haven’t watched as much stuff as I’ve listened to music, but I’ve got a few things I’ve been watching. The second half of the second season of Invincible, also on Prime Video, premiered last month, and that was a lot of fun, especially after loving the first season a few years back. Animation has been on a roll this year, between that and X-Men ‘97, which has been a show that I’ve been eagerly watching every Wednesday. That show’s been an absolute blast, and despite being rooted in a show from the past, it doesn’t let the nostalgia overtake the show itself. I haven’t really been watching a lot of movies this year, surprisingly enough, but I need to catch up. I need to watch Fallout, though; I love dystopia and post-apocalyptic universes, so I need to sit down and watch that front to back. What about video games? I got a couple that I’ve played this year, not necessarily new but new to me; and that’s been a whole lot of fun.

Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth came out at the end of February (on the leap day, no less!), and I've been playing it basically non-stop since then. Rebirth is the second part of a trilogy of games that are remaking/reimagining the original Final Fantasy 7 from back in 1997, greatly expanding upon and making tweaks to various things that were in the original. This is also a game that adopts more of an open-ended structure, featuring several pretty big zones filled with a ton to do. As of writing this, I've put about 100 hours into it, and I'm just over 60% of the way through it. This is a game that''s so incredibly easy to get lost and immersed in for hours, and I think that comes down to three things. Firstly, your main party of characters is so enjoyable to be around; it really hammers home that feeling of being on a grand adventure with your friends, and even when you're doing a seemingly mundane open world activity, you still get little interactions with the characters that makes it worth it. Another factor for me is the combat. I said after the first part came out in 2020 that it had maybe my favorite combat in an RPG, I really loved the seamless blend of real time action and strategy with the ATB system. Rebirth's combat is essentially more of that, but the improvements and enhancements make this combat sing in a way that very few games ever have for me. Swapping between party members, using the new synergy abilities, and popping ATB abilities feels so seamless and flows super well. It's just a blast to play. Finally, I wanna give a shoutout to the minigames. I won't give all of them away, but there are so many different minigames to play, and this is where Rebirth gets to really lean into its silliness more often than not. Your main story can often be very dramatic and emotional, so I appreciate that these side activities are a way to provide a tonal balance and gameplay pacing. And aside from maybe one or two I admittedly wasn't a huge fan of, all of them were really fun to play (shoutout Queen's Blood in particular, I would buy a standalone version of that in a heartbeat). Oh, and I would be remiss if I didn't mention the music. It's incredible, and even when you're walking around in the open areas, you get hit with yet another really cool music piece, and that's before you even get to the big set pieces or boss fights, which also rule. I could just gush about this thing forever, really, but I'll top this off by saying it's been a really special experience and I'm so excited to see where it ends up. How about you, though? Have you been playing anything in particular?

Man, Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth sounds great! I always love when a piece of media, whether it’s a game, movie, or album, can really suck you into its story or sound. I can’t say I’ve played any new games, but I got a couple things I’ve been playing so far this year. I spent the last few months playing Mafia III, especially after seeing it was on sale for the first time in awhile, and I absolutely love the first two games. Now those are games that you can get lost in, especially its story, world, and atmosphere, but I’d say the third in this trilogy is the best. Instead of taking place the 1930s or 1940s, like the first two games, the third one takes place in the 1960s, let alone in a New Orleans-type of city with different “districts” that are composed of different kinds of people. This game also tackles issues like racism and PTSD, especially where the main character is Black and a Vietnam veteran. It’s got some hard hitting and still relevant themes, despite coming out in 2016, but it’s still relevant today. The game does have a couple downsides, such as the combat and side missions between story missions being repetitive (despite still a lot of fun), but it’s the story, characters, and the world itself that really draws you in. The music is also a big part of this game, as it features a lot of 50s and 60s blues, rock, soul, pop, and lots of different songs that you can listen to on any car’s radio, and the songs really bring everything to life. It’s a wonderful game, and it’s the best of the three, hands down.

As for the other game, thanks to the new Fallout show coming out, I decided to download Fallout 4 on the PlayStation Store, because it was only $4.99, and I’ve been playing it for a few days now! It’s a lot of fun, despite how I’m still getting used to its world and mechanics. I’ve always been curious about Fallout’s story and lore, but never knew where to start. There’s so many games and lore to sink your teeth into, but that’s what makes the show so good — it’s its own story, like you said, so you don’t need to know everything about the games. The show eases you into it, but if you enjoy post-apocalyptic stories with retro futuristism aesthetics, along with a killer soundtrack (that I enjoy, thanks to my niche taste of 30s, 40s, and 50s music), you should get really into it. The game itself is cool, too, and it also eases you into the story, especially if this is your first go-around. I’m excited to play more, since I haven’t had anything I’ve really dedicated my time to after finishing Mafia III.

With all of that said, let’s get to our main event — 2024 in music. We discussed this a bit earlier, at least our overall first impressions, but this year has been off to the races when it comes to new music. I swear that almost every week since the start of the year, there’s been something new to listen to, but a lot of my favorite albums this year have been from March and April. Let’s not beat around the bush anymore, though. What are your favorites of the year so far? Hell, what are some albums that have been resonating with you this year? They don’t even need to be new, but stuff that you’ve found that you’ve just been into this year, regardless of when it came out.

Both Mafia III and Fallout 4 are games I wanna revisit sometimes, for a lot of the reasons you've said. I do remember Mafia III getting a bit of criticism for its repettitive open world structure and missions, but I loved what I played of it for the setting and characters and how it tackled heavier subject matters in a game like this. And I did redownload Fallout 4 as well, I played a few hours of it when it first released in 2015, but the show has made me wanna give it another go, though at this point I'll probably end up starting a new save.

Anyways, yes, let's get to the main event, our favorite music! I feel like since we both have the same number one, at least I think we do, let's save that for last, but for now, I'm gonna highlight a few from my top 10, in no real order (at least not for the purposes of this piece, I do have a proper list for myself). First, an interesting thing I noticed about my list is how a few of these are from bands/artists you recommended to it. Cory Wells' Harbouring the Hurt I Cause is a really good acoustic/emo album that I had never heard of before you suggested it, and that new Fluorescents album that just dropped, Scream It At Me! gives me such great mid/late 2000s neon pop-punk/pop-rock vibes but with a modern polish to it. You also turned me back on to Neck Deep; their self-titled album is just a really damn solid pop-punk album from a band I admittedly kinda wrote off in recent years.

Secondly, I wanna talk about two final releases from two of my favorite bands, but they're final releases for very different reasons. Sum 41 are pop-punk legends at this point, and sometime last year, they announced that after their new album and some extensive touring, they were calling it quits. It's always nice that when a band does break up, they do so on their own terms and while going out on top. I really had a lot of fun with their final (double) album Heaven x Hell, it felt like a love letter to the band and everything they do well, and I'm happy they were able to go out with that. On the other hand, though, we have Too Close to Touch's For Keeps, and this one is very bittersweet. Vocalist Keaton Pierce passed away unexpectedly in March 2022, and many fans like myself weren't sure we were ever gonna hear from the band again. So, it was a very welcome surprise when they announced a final collection of songs, but it was also a little bittersweet that they decided to call it quits, although it was for a very understandable reason. For Keeps, I think, turned out as well as it could have, and is a very solid sendoff for a vocalist and a band who were so close to taking that next step.

Outside of this year, I did wanna highlight Linkin Park's recently-released greatest hits album, called Papercuts. It's a very nice little collection of songs from their career, and it's been a lot of fun revisiting my first favorite band.

Okay, now I'm gonna throw it back to you, what's some music that you've really been resonating with so far this year?

Yeah, Mafia III got some criticism for the repetitive open world structure and the missions being pretty much copy and paste, such as killing certain enforcers, and interrogating informants, but it’s still a lot of fun every time you get to unleash carnage on an unsuspecting group of bad guys (or are they, because this game does tackle how the main character might not be as good as he thinks he is, and that’s a real interesting idea). I got through a bit of Fallout 4 already, though, and despite a rather annoying combat system that I still need to master, I enjoy it a lot. It’s pretty cool, especially with its story and the lore that the game has already built up for itself.

As for the main event, we can save that specific album for later, but I have a feeling I know what it is, too, and it’s a doozy, that’s for sure. I figured we could highlight stuff from our top tens, really in no particular order, but that’s really neat! I always love recommending stuff, but if I hear something that I think you’d like, I always throw it your way, even if it’s not something I’m as into. Anyhow, my top ten is mainly from bands and artists I’ve already been a fan of, and with the exception of Fluorescents’ debut, Scream It At Me, it’s all stuff that I’ve both heard of but haven’t listened to in awhile. A few of my favorites, in no particular order as well, are Neck Deep’s self-titled and Fluorescents’ Scream It At Me, especially for really wanting some catchy pop-punk at this time of year. Neck Deep’s new one came out in the beginning of the year, but it just hits differently now, and it’s really grown on me. I’ve also been enjoying a handful of metalcore albums, including two that just came out last week. The new Ghost Inside and SeeYouSpaceCowboy albums, respectively titled Searching For Solace and Coup De Grace, are a couple of metalcore albums that really hit what I’ve been looking for, especially really catchy and hard hitting stuff. The new Justin Timberlake album, Everything I Thought It Was, is another album that I’ve been playing a lot this year, and it’s a solid little comeback album for him.

A couple of albums on my list, too, aren’t from bands who released their last albums, although those two albums you mentioned were pretty good, but they’re from artists I never expected to really love a new album from. Thrice frontman Dustin Kensrue dropped a country album, entitled Desert Dreaming, and it’s a wonderful throwback country album that sounds like it came out of the 1960s and 1970s. Augustana, and indie-pop / folk-pop band, also dropped their first album in a decade, called Something Beautiful, and it really hit me, especially for being so catchy. Lil Dicky also dropped a new album this year, his first in almost a decade and I wasn’t expecting to enjoy that as much as I did. I also binged his show, Dave, that has been on for the last few years and it’s a pretty funny show, and I forgot to mention that earlier, but the album, Penith, is supposed to be the “soundtrack” to the show.

Now when it comes to music this year that I’ve been that isn’t new, I got a couple of things, such as getting into the last Hot Mulligan albums after seeing them live with Fall Out Boy a couple months back. I also have spent some time with the last couple of James And The Shame records. That’s the brainchild of Rhett McLaughlin, most famously known from YouTube duo Rhett & Link, but it’s a retro-style country project that has a lot of themes about religion and his overall deconstruction from the church, and it’s very interesting stuff. I’d like to check out that Linkin Park greatest hits, though; they’re a band I feel like hits better with their greatest hits, although their first two albums are really cool still.

There is one album that we haven’t talked about yet that we’ve alluded to, because it’s both our current favorite album this year, so would you like to introduce it?

You know, this is actually kind of a funny full cirlce thing, because Bayside was another band you originally introduced me to, I wanna say about a decade ago, around the time Cult was coming out. I really enjoyed that album, but their next album, 2016''s Vacancy, was what really won me over and made me a huge fan of theirs. So, naturally, you could say that their new album, There Are Worse Things Than Being Alive, being my number one album of the year so far is a bit of a no-brainer, but I really do think this is one of Bayside's best albums, and it really showcases the band at their peak and what they do best, whether it be guitarist Jack O'Shea really letting it rip with some killer guitar parts and solos, Anthony Raneri's ability to paint a picture and tell a story with his lyrics, or the band's penchant for memorable hooks. It's all there in full force on this album, but what I will say, is that if you really think about it, it's not really all that different than what they've been doing. So, I wanna turn it back to you and ask, what was it about thsi album in particular that really clicked and led it to also being your favorite album so far this year?

Bayside is a band that I’ve got a lot of nostalgia for, because I found them on a 2007 Alternative Press compilation. It was an acoustic version of “Dear Your Holiness,” and I really loved it, I picked up 2007’s The Walking Wounded and immediately fell in love with it. It’s still one of my favorite albums today, especially for its great hooks, awesome guitarwork that was really heavy for a pop-punk album, and very poignant lyrics that still hold up today. I have enjoyed their subsequent records, but Bayside ended up becoming a band whose albums all sound the same to me.

Despite how good they are, especially 2016’s Vacancy, you know what you’re getting with an album from them, which can be a good or bad thing, depending on where you stand with them. Aside from The Walking Wounded, nothing else they’ve done since has really blown me away as much as that album. I was somewhat eagerly awaiting There Are Worse Things Than Being Alive, especially because it’s been five years since their last album came out, but what really surprised me was how this album feels oddly refreshing compared to their last couple. Not that they were bad, or even bland, but this album reminds me a lot of The Walking Wounded.

Like you said, this album is a classic Bayside album on the surface, but they prove that they can tweak their formula a bit and make it really interesting. This album is both the heaviest and catchiest I’ve heard Bayside in a long time; their hooks are sticky sweet this time around, but their guitar riffs are some of the thrashiest and most heavy metal-ish that I’ve heard from them. Raneri’s lyrics are also some of the best I’ve heard in awhile, too, and a lot of this album gets lodged in my head for the best reasons. I bet it was a shock to you, especially as someone that hasn’t been crazy about their last few albums, that I was over the moon for this album when it came out, huh?

I was definitely pleasantly surprised when you said you were loving this album as much as you do, but at the same time, especially after hearing you talk about it more, I do kinda get why this one maybe hooked you more than they have the past few albums. Sometimes all it takes is some tweaks/refreshes to the formula, and sometimes, something will just hit you in the right place at the right time, even if maybe it normally wouldn't as much otherwise. But, I love that we both have this at number one; thinking back on years past, I think this has only happened a handful of times, most likely with Fall Out Boy, since they're another band we both love.

It's really hard to believe we're already a quarter of the way through this year already, isn't it? I'm glad we got together to do this again, though, it's been a blast looking back on all of it so far, and I really can't wait for what's still to come.

I really was surprised to love this new album as much as I did, but you’re right, sometimes all it takes is a tweak to the formula to really hit you at the right time. I think by having a catchier and heavier sound, the album was able to hit me harder because it reminded me of when I first listened to them all those years ago. It just hits in the right way, but I truly love it. Not many albums this year have really hit me in that way, but this record is their best in a long time. It’s really hard to believe we’re almost a quarter done, though, so much good stuff has come out and so much is going to come out in the next eight months. It’s been an absolute blast doing this with you again, but before we close this out, what are some albums you’re looking forward to, whether they have a confirmed release date or not?

Just today, as we're writing this, The Home Team announced their third album, called The Crucible of Life, is coming out on July 12th, and I know that album is gonna be amazing. They're really about to be the next big thing, and I can't wiat. The other big one for me is The Early November, whose self-titled album is coming out June 14th. They're a band sorta like Bayside, in that they have a pretty storied legacy in the scene and have still been at it, putting out great music for over 20 years now.

Got anything on your radar coming up?

No way, they finally announced their new album? I hadn’t seen it yet, so that’s awesome. I can’t wait for that, so that’s easily a most anticipated. I’d say that off the top of my head, the upcoming Knocked Loose is my most anticipated, and that comes in a couple weeks on May 10th. Those guys are currently one of the biggest heavy bands in the scene, and their last album was easily my favorite of 2019, so I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time. It’s gonna be a good rest of the year, for sure, and I can’t wait to do this again with you. I hopefully plan on doing this again here in another three or four months, and then at the end of the year, but it’s been a lot of fun being able to work on another one of these pieces with you, so thanks for being able to indulge me on what we’ve been into this year so far!

Yeah, this has been so much fun, so thank you for having me! I'm looking forward to meeting up for this again, as I'm sure we'll have plenty more to talk about.

#bayside #there are worse things than being alive #x men 97 #fallout #fallout 4 #final fantasy 7 #heavy metal #metal #rock #metalcore #death metal #mafia iii #sum 41 #pop-punk #neck deep #the ghost inside #searching for solace

8 notes · View notes

watermelonsugacry · 2 years

Note

So I’ve been going through a Little Mix revival lately and when I got to the Glory Days album I couldn’t help but think if bandmember yn helped write some stuff for the girls, the album came out in late 2016 so she would’ve had some time after the break at the start of the year to get involved before heading to Jamaica with H for HS1

first off: as you should

second: she totally did, those girls are her sisters so it was super duper fun to help produce some of their songs. Little Mix was also one of yn's biggest clients (aside from h of course) that she first got hired for as a producer. not to mention how much all the girls live for harmonies

Salute 2013

Move: YN's first song with the girls which she not only helped produced but was featured in.

Weird People 2015

The End: YN wrote about her ex boyfriend she had during 1d and was the first song she produced/vocal arranged in full accapella

Glory Days 2016:

Shout Out To My Ex: just a good ol' poppy break up song that my or may not have been inspired by a certain ex 1d band member

F.U. : not only was yn's pen game was strong on this one -> "A, B, C, D, E, F.U." (um aRE YEH KIDDIN ME?!) but her vocal arrangements for this one was one of her favorites.

Power: it's songs like these that makes yn feel like a badass being surrounded by strong women. AND to have Stormzy (one of her favorite rappers) feature in on it later on was something she crossed off of her bucket list

Beep Beep: the guitar playing in this song was yn

LM5 2018:

Woman Like Me: if this song isn't about yn literally explaining her on and off relationship with H during this time then i don't know what is

Strip: one of yn's favorites (she also made a cameo in the music video, dancing and singing with her step mum, Penny)

Joan of Arc: another song that she helped write that made her feel like a badass. Like while LM was in the recording room singing the bridge and the harmonies for it, yn was on the other side of the glass dancing and hyping them UP. I'm talking up on the couch pressed against the wall, arms in the air, hips swiveling and screaming the lyrics back.

Wasabi: a fun, sassy bop. enough said.

Motive: a song that the LM girls let yn have creative freedom for how the track was going to sound and she really popped OFF

Notice: a sexy bop with a sexy bridge.

The Cure: this was a song she really collaborated with the most with the girls on an intimate level. it has such a powerful message that they all agreed was important to share and an experience they've all lived through being their line of work

Confetti 2020:

Sweet Melodies: yn was mainly in charge of their vocal arrangements for this song

Rendezvous: a song wrote and gave to the girls inspired by her and h's secret relationship before it was exposed.

Bounce Back: a fun, sassy bop #2

Breathe: the song may or may not have a snip bit of harry yelling "hey!"...yeah yn had a blast when the fandom went crazy and claimed that it was him and the LM girls were denying it every chance they got

Since 2010 Masterlist

Taglist:

@wobblymug @be-with-me-so-happily @ashtongivesmebutterflies @kiwiskiwiskiwi @darlingdesire @obsesseddd @hopefulwastelandcreation @cacapeepee @breezie-b00 @harrysfolklore @theekyliepage @sunshinemoonsposts @nervousspiderling @tbslonelyhes @tenaciousperfectionunknown @harrystylesrecs @certified-nalayak @itsjustsel @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @gviosca @behindmygreyeyes @twobluejeans @allisonxmcu @theemeraldbutterfly @jean-love @marvellover-sam @b-reads-things @reveriehs @rach2602 @thurhomish @perrypughstyles

#harry x 1dbandmember!reader #since 2010 series #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles blurb #harry styles x you #harry styles #one direction #one direction fanfiction #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #little mix #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing #famous!yn #famous!reader #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic

232 notes · View notes

coffee-at-annies · 7 months

Text

@paintingtheice so I totally meant to post this yesterday and then fell asleep editing/adding on to this. This is not the essay on gendering Sidney Crosby we’ve talked about in dms it’s instead a different fandom essay that I started writing in my head half as a convo and then said fuck it essay time. @podcasts-8-my-heart this is also dedicated to you saying you’re proud of me for writing 2.5k+. I’m proud of you.

So I was thinking on my bus ride into work this morning (yesterday - yes it’s been a day this got long don’t look at me like that) about hrpf and SidGeno and some of the shifts I’ve seen fandom go through in my time following hockey. There are a million and one little reasons why things have changed and many of them can simply be chalked up to the passing of time; new information gets revealed, new events happen, roster turnover, and fandom/writer turnover. One thing that I think about a lot is when fic is set in relation to “canon.” The relationship with canon in hrpf is both deeper and more divorced than other fandom, but stay with me I’m gonna pull a bunch of words out my ass and hope it makes a lick of sense.

The first talking point/part of this thesis is recency bias. People are way more inclined to favor recent events over the past. You see this in the actual fandom with people reacting to losses or saying “we never win against [team]” when we have in fact won against that team as recent as last year. It’s this sort of bias that causes us as readers/writers to read something current and assume it’s always been this way and then experience cognitive dissonance with other depictions of the characters that are older or simply different. “He would not fucking say that.” Well once upon a time maybe he did. Maybe it’s out of character now, but back then it was the defining character study for how fandom understood him and you need to sit down and actually look at what people were saying. Maybe it was never in character but the author committed to being ooc and you can see how our understanding has drifted closer or farther away in the years since.

The second talking point is that when fandom isn’t reacting to current canon it has a tendency to latch on to specific parts of canon and not let go. I’m quantifying that as “events”. Fandom hates filler but it loves a plot point. In hprf in general and sidgeno specifically you see this in a lot of different ways. How many stories have been written about [insert team]’s cup run? The Olympics? I’ve read so many fics about 2015 Worlds despite never reading hrpf before 2016. We love an event. Do we actually care about every game of the season or tournament tho? Not really unless something specific to progress the plot or characterization happens. Geno visiting Sid at when they’re supposed to be enemies is more important than whoever Canada beat in the round robin.

Anyway this is all introductory backtracking because the original thrust of this essay was defining to myself the “when” that people write about. My brainstorming had it separated into the nebulous now, right fucking now when I (the author) wrote this, events events events, the vague future, the past aka when they were Youths™️, the generalized timeline (y’know, canon?) - usually characterized in hrpf by events, milestones, and team personnel, and timeline what timeline.

Are you saying to yourself, gee she just listed a bunch of stuff I hope she defines it. Well good for you, that’s literally the rest of this monster. Buckle up I’m about to say way more words. I do not think I’m 100% accurate perfect no notes. I’m sure parts of it are bullshit. But hey I’m gonna close my eyes and post it anyway.

1. [Nebulous Now] - Hey remember that paragraph on recency bias? Welcome to recency bias the fic setting. In my head, the nebulous now is +/- the last two or three years. It’s set around present day* or going back only as far as the author was engaged in fandom. You’ll probably know when it’s set based on team makeup, season highlights, major events, but it’s basically meant to be set now. It may care about schedules and specific details but reserves the right to throw it out the window if it feels like it. The problem with being set now is when you run across a fic that is 5, 10, 15 years old and is supposed to still be set in whatever the current year is.

*when the fic first started being written

2. [Right Fucking Now] There is nothing nebulous about when this fic was written or what it was written about. These are usually smaller fics** where inspiring event happened anywhere from the day the writer started writing to at most a month or two ago. Usually precipitated by X did Y in Z game against team A and got celebratory gangbanged in the locker room about it. (Y being goals, hat tricks, fights, ect.). You can’t get more specific than this baby. Fics set before/during/after a specific game fit here. All Star Game fics written around the All Star Break are here. Milestone events are here, for example Tanger and Geno’s 1K games. Fics written immediately in reaction to stuff like Contract-gate go here. Most playoff fic that references specific events or was written during the playoffs falls under here. The main clarifying point is it wasn’t written very long after the fact. Anything written now about last years All Star Game, Contract-Gate, Sid slutting it up at worlds and the Olympics, all fall under a different category. Which is a great segue to my next one.

** I said usually smaller but sometimes an author decides to write a big fic about the narrative arc of the season and we love them for it.

3. [Events Events Events] - This is probably the one that is the biggest broadest category and the one I have the hardest time narrowing down despite having more examples than I can shake a stick at. Simply put, this category is for fics that are concerned with a specific event, usually big, but sometimes small. This can be any event that stands out in a reader/author’s head. Generally the fic was written after the event happened from a place of knowing how everything shakes out in canon. These fics can feel different because the we walk in already knowing the start and stop and major events of the fic. From the reader’s perspective the event is over but the characters experiencing the event don’t know it.

SidGeno/Pens Examples include: World Juniors. The Olympics/the golden goal/Sochi. The cup runs are a subcategory unto themselves but the playoffs/finals are a big event. Major injuries like Geno’s knee surgery and Sid’s concussion. Duper’s retirement tends to be a foot note in cup run stories but it’s a small event. Trades def count since there are absolutely stories about the before/after of a trade. Vegas & Seattle Expansion Drafts. The lockouts (05 & 2012). I’m ignoring that the pandemic-stoppage is also under this cause I don’t like reading about it. Contract-gate is a recent example. Basically if you’re asking “hey does this event count as an event” the answer is probably yes because you’ve remembered it. If you can point to something specific on the timeline and zoom in on it then it counts.

***this one I keep tweaking it’s definition and I’m still not 100% happy. I just keep thinking about all the fic I’ve read in other fandoms that feel beholden to canon in ways that I end up bemoaning the lack of creativity. Nobody says it has to happen this exact way every time but authors who claim to hate that installment still faithfully recreate it every time.

So we’ve had now, and we’ve had the events that everyone (or just you) remember, what’s next is literally what’s next.

4. [Vague Future] - Quite literally 1, 5, 10, 20 years in the future. Next season fics. Retirement and post-retirement fics. Their kids getting drafted fic is this. Anything that makes you think further ahead than the end of the current season is probably in this category. It’s vague because who the heck knows if it ends up true or not. There is of course overlap with the Nebulous Now because its nebulous. Since everything is set vaguely now-ish, it’s hard to tell when now starts becoming the future. The season just started and all through the preseason I saw people talking about who they think is going win the cup this year. There’s so much hockey to be played still. The future is vague but it will eventually become now.

Also remember it’s all about perspective. There’s tons of movies set in the far distant future of the late 2010s and they don’t match up to our lived reality. Going back to the comment about cognitive dissonance, sometimes you aren’t writing about an event from a place of knowing; sometimes it’s just your best guess or heartfelt wish. It’s so easy to say “oh that’s an au” when maybe it wasn’t an au when it was written, maybe it was intended to be accurate to the author’s best guess. Sometimes fics from the past were set in the future but that time has been passed by life and going back to read them is weird but cool. It’s interesting to see where people thought the boys were going vs where they are. Who could have guessed the core would have careers this long or decorated but they have.

Speaking of writing from a place of knowing; this next one is sort of a subcategory of events, but was a specific enough setting of fic I wanted to call it out.

5. [Youth™️] - This is anything where they are children. It may be well research but for the most part it’s probably non-accurate outside of the broad stokes. It’s the prologue and chapter 1. Pre-canon and the first 20 minutes. Kid!fic. It’s all about the kids in this one. This is the start of the story and the time before that.

Hrpf examples include anything about juniors, Sid’s time at shattuck, and World Juniors. For SidGeno I’d probably include the 03 to 05 drafts. Can include Sid’s first year in the NHL and Geno’s flight from Russia and his first full year in the NHL (that’s the hard cutoff for me personally). You could potentially argue up to and including the 08 & 09 cup runs as like the climax of them being young NHL stars, and yeah sure I’m not a cop write whatever you want if it makes sense to you then it makes sense. I don’t think Sid getting drafted is a bad place to start a fic, especially if you’re doing an AU. There’s always a good argument to start at the beginning of the canon story.

I’m highlighting this because holy crud the number of fics I’ve seen from other fandoms that don’t even like the early material but start at movie 1 scene 1/book 1 chapter 1 anyway. It’s fanfic we don’t have to start at the beginning. You can, but its not necessary. I personally struggle with fics that don’t change anything in early canon but require you to read their version of it anyway, but I’m just one person. You do you.

This next one doesn’t have a snazzy name because look sometimes there’s a timeline and you wanna write something that encompasses it. If it’s granular I’d say you’re talking about Eventsx3 or Right Fucking Now. Overlaps with Youth™️ because you have to start somewhere and Nebulous Now because now is on the timeline. If there are expected events on the timeline like retirement from professional sports, that’s the vague future.

6. [Timeline] Sometimes authors want to care about the timeline or the fic is set over weeks, months, years. Most canons have a specific set timeline and hrpf is no different. However ours is actual literal years rather than something someone created and is thus easy to navigate. For my examples I’m generalizing over the span of months and years and then grouping by big events rather than calling out any one specific event.

[the early years] Anything from Sid’s first year to the 09 cup. Let’s be real here, most authors either write incredibly detailed fic about the whole timeline, or they’ll only write about Sid or Geno’s first full NHL years or the 08-09 cup runs. Everything else is usually glossed over. The babies era. Youth™️

Events include: Sid and Geno’s drafts. The 05 lockout. Geno fleeing Russia. Losing streaks. Mario’s return and retirement. Flower and Tanger getting called up. Sid living at Mario’s. Geno living with Gonch and learning English. Sid being named Captain. Hard cutoff is after the 07-08 and 08-09 cup runs.****

****You can argue that the 08 & 09 cup runs are their own subcategory but this is already long enough imo.

[post cup - international success and dead years] - the middle years. You’re probably only going to read event fic set during this time unless it was written in the nebulous now of those years.

Events include: the golden goal/2010 olympics. Sid’s concussion. Geno’s knee surgery. The 2012 lockout. Geno playing at home in Russia during the lockout. I think Geno & Ovi had a memorable All Star Game in here. Socchi Olympics. Worlds 2015.***** Tanger’s stroke. Olli’s cancer. Geno getting married. Trades include I wanna say Jordy, Talbo, Lazy. Gonch is in Dallas but I don’t remember if he was traded. This is also the spacetoaster era. Sid spending several years building a house only to move back in with Mario due to post-concussion syndrome.

*****Sid winning at worlds is I think the end of this era cause Worlds kicked off Sid’s “winning everything that he could possibly win” era.

[the sully era] The 15-16 & 16-17 cup wins against San Jose and Nashville. The threepeat attempt in 2018 with its second round loss to the capitals. The vegas draft followed several years later by the seattle draft. Geno had a kid. Once you get past the cup runs this really blends into the nebulous now. Maybe it’s cause I stopped reading fic religiously sometime between 2019 and 2021 but aside from the covid pandemic which I very much do not like reading about, there’s not much here to highlight other than player milestones and trades, but don’t worry Sid and Geno have had a bunch of milestones.

[modern pensblr] - The covid stoppage, pandemic-hockey, and now. Anything from 2020 to the current 2023-24 season. Very much the nebulous now but there’s tons of milestones for our two headed monster/core trio to celebrate.

Okay I know I just spent a while being very “general with specific” but this next category is for the people who just don’t care about anything I’ve talked about.

7. [Timeline what timeline] - This is the one where authors simply don’t care about the “when” of their setting. It’s an outgrowth of the nebulous now but it’s less tied to canon. It may reference a season but it doesn’t have to and will often ignore actual team makeup because “this is my fanfic and if I want to ignore that trade I can.” Non-hockey aus (one or both s/g) will often fall under this since you need to answer who is playing center for the Penguins if Sid drives the zamboni. Straight up aus are kinda here but I don’t think fics that are fully an au setting like a college frat or space au really counts for this conversation since the au comes with its own time period that is wholly divorced from canon outside of the cast of characters. This is also where fics that go “I’m going to write my own canon” belong (ie Geno is a flyer, what if Pens drafted Ovi instead of Geno, what if X player got traded to Y team and hooked up with Z player). Timeline can matter for some of those fics, but most of them only care as much as it makes sense to make the fic make sense. The important timeline information is that hockey is happening (or it’s the off season and hockey isn’t happening). These are the fics where the Pens are always conveniently playing Washington when Geno needs advice from Ovi or Vegas when Sid needs similar from Flower. As long as the fic is internally consistent what does it matter if you’ve forgotten this or that timeline detail such as setting a timeline in the first place. Hockey itself is so intertwined with the specific routines of a season that you can divorce that routine from reality and just have hockey. Fall becomes winter becomes spring becomes the playoffs, what more can an author ask for?

Done? Idk I’m out of words. Okay I love you for reading this far. Bye bye. Feel free to chime in in the notes if you’ve got your own ideas. I certainly don’t have a monopoly on thoughts and I’m not convinced I’m right either, just doing a deep think.

#chit chat #this is a lot of semi coherent vaguely organized thoughts about a topic idk if anyone else cares about #rpf mention #as in this whole weird essay thing is about both rpf specifically and fandom generally #I’ve tried to edit out examples from other fandoms but idk if it works #oh I can feel myself starting to doze #time to yeet and deal with what ppl think tomorrow #it’s bedtime

15 notes · View notes