#this is just another one of god's little tests i think that everyone will hate me no matter what in the end so i have to enjoy it while | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

angelwhisp3rs · 4 months

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∞ ₒ ˚ ° 𐐒 obsession

Pairing: ID!Leon x Fem!Reader

Summary: Training the rookies was a pain until he met her. His sweetest new obsession, he wouln't stop till he was buried deep inside her.

Tags: smut, fluff, age gap (not too much! i imagined leon being 37 and the reader being 23-25, so everyone is legal and consenting! Its not his age in ID but i use it only bc of the character background), p in v, eating out, riding, breeding kink, leon is obsessed!, a small housewife kink.

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺ on repeat: exo - obsession

Notes: Got too excited and posted without proofreading it! If i missed anything, please let me know so i can correct it! Also, when will tumblr make a pastel pink theme for the dashboard? I hate that everything we have is either a sad/gloomy hipster or raging gothic theme.

From all his years working at the D.S.O, Leon was stressed pretty much all the time, never catching a break, too exhausted. That showed on the increasing wrinkles forming from his frowns, and the occasional white hair that appeared on top of his head. In his non-existent breaks, he had another thing on his belt: training the new agents.

At first, it was a pain in the ass, watching those morons do the same mistake over and over, it really made Leon think it was getting too easy to be a D.S.O agent. Some repeated the same mistakes over and over again, and because of it, Leon frequently lost his patience, soon getting known as a hardass.

As time went by, he began losing hope for the future of the department, until she came through. Pretty body, voice as soothing as a canary and delicious lips that called for him. And the best thing was that she was better than all of these morons, throwing down even the experienced rookies.

Since Ada, Leon didn’t know what it was like to be this obsessed with a woman. He wanted to know her next step, have her by his side all the time, know how her soft skin feels underneath his rough fingertips. He dreamed of her, and caught himself checking her out more than he should. Chris always teased him in private, telling him “his star student is making him turn back to his twenties”. God, they had a small age gap, but thinking about it only made his cock throb. Maybe dealing with rookies made his mind turn him back to his twenties.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

As their “graduation” got closer in time, all the new agents began training more, but none were like her. She came in first and left after all of them, always using the training gym by herself the most she could. Taking advantage of the opportunity, Leon offered private training, becoming a private tutor to her.

Instead of making things easy, it just caused him to become even more addicted to her - he now knew her thoughts, her quirks and her perspectives. As they spent more and more time together, it was clear that she found him attractive too - he knew he was still successful with women, after all (even if he was more dumped than anything). Leon had cemented in his mind that he needed her, and now he just needed to find a way to approach her.

She will be all his.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

One of the nights, he had to spend in his office reading and filing boring documents, Leon heard a gentle knock on his door. “Come in” he simply answered, and to his surprise - and excitement, it was his little star. She entered his office, and her usual sparkly eyes were dull, the poor thing was too tired, working herself too much.

“What happened, rookie? You look exhausted. Working too much to bring me down?” Leon said with a smirk

“Ha, you wish, sir.” Oh, how that term made his pants tighten. “I just came for help, I don’t know. I’ve been focusing on sharpening my skills for the admission test, but I don’t know…” she said unsure

“Hey, don’t tell the rest, but you’re the only one that I would bet on getting in” he reassured her, standing up and taking a seat beside her in his couch “You’re too much in your head, agent”

“I know, I just can’t turn it off…” she whined, making Leon think how she would sound if he made her cum around his cock

That 's it. That was Leon’s chance to get his favorite student. He put a hand on her thigh, not too close to her precious cunt and said quietly to her “It’s alright, sweetheart… I can help you, if you want”

She knew where this was going, and it turned her on more than she thought. Feigning innocence, she pulled a strand of her hair behind her ear, nodding “But… How, sir?” and looked at his lips

Leon smiled, caressing her jaw “let me fill your mind, rookie. Why don’t you sit at my desk, hm?”

She stood up and slowly went to his desk, sitting on it and letting her head fall to the side, as if to question him “what’s next?” with her body language. Leon follows her, standing between her legs and letting his hands caress the outer side of her thighs. His face lowers to her neck, his kisses and his stubble causing a warm sensation to run through her skin. A soft gasp left her lips, her hands caressing the back of his head.

Feeling him smirk against her skin, he kept placing slow and gentle kisses, adding some nibbles on the mix “That’s what my best student needs, right? A real man to touch her”

He lays her on his desk, pushing his papers aside, pulling her hips into his - his cock adding a nice weight to her sensitive wetness. He slowly pushed her shirt up, watching her beauty for a moment “You’re perfect, baby”. As he whispered the praise, her cheeks blushed more, a soft giggle leaving her lips. He finally kissed her lips and both were hungry for each other, to quench the thirst they had been accumulating after months.

Leon swiftly undoes her bra, not wasting any time and circling his tongue around her nipples, sucking and lightly nibbling it. Underneath him, her breath quickens, as she whines freely as he teased her. Trying to ease their ache, Leon grinds their centers together, his cock so hard that his zipper presses against his member.

Soon, he removed her pants, kissing as her skin showed - inch by inch. Again, his stubble creates goosebumps in her legs, as he worshiped her body - she deserved it, after all, he wanted to make her addicted to him and his taste. Watching her panties so drenched as they were glued to her pussy, he couldn't help but nuzzle into her bundle of nerves, causing a gentle jump on her. He kissed and licked the wet spot, as if trying to eat her up.

“F-fuck, please take them off, sir” she whined, not even realizing that she kept the term. Leon, deciding that he wasn’t in a teasing mood, guided the clothing down, letting his pretty star all spread on his desk - his to take, to tease, to fuck, to breed.

“Shit, baby girl, you are so wet for your teacher… you wanted me to take you, right? You wanted me to go crazy and drench my face with you. huh?” He teased her as he got on his knees, aligning his face against her cunt. She was so red, puffy and wet, not even the most delicious candy could compare to her.

His tongue tasted her at first with kitten licks, causing a loud moan to rip from her mouth. “Keep quiet, sweetheart. We don’t want anyone coming here and seeing you spread out like a needy slut, right?” at his comment, and as if teasing her, he finally sucked and rolled his tongue around her clit, letting his index finger circle her wet entrance. Almost as if she was distressed, she cupped her mouth with her hand, rolling her eyes back at the pleasure.

Pushing his finger forward, slowly, until he's entirely inside her, he kept eating her out with gusto, as if he was a starved man. Soon, what was one finger turned into two, her juices were flowing through his palm as he began to be more desperate for her - but he wouldn’t stop till she let him taste her entirely. “It feels good, doesn’t it, my doll? I’m the only man and only one for you, gonna make sure to keep this pussy satisfied till I die”.

His fingers and mouth worked more ferociously, pussy drunk wasn’t even close to describe how he was feeling.On the other end, she had tears in her eyes as one hand didn’t leave her mouth as the other one tugged his hair hard, making him moan against her drenched cunt. “S-sir, o-oh g-god…need to c-cum!” she pleased, looking down at him with glazed eyes.

“Do it, baby girl, give it to me” he ushered her, maintaining the pace till she finally coated his fingers, tongue and mouth with her essence. As her ‘little death’ came, she felt as if fireworks erupted inside her mind - none of her exams daring to creep up on her mind.

He praised and marked her thighs as she came down from her high. The girl pulled Leon into a passionate kiss, smiling in contentment, reaching cloud 9000. Pulling away, she whispered against his lips “Let me repay you, Leon. Wanna make you feel just as good”

“Not today, doll.” He whispered, sitting back in his chair and pulling his pants and underwear down, patting his lap “I know how to help you even further”, he said with a wicked glint in his eyes.

Like an excited bunny, she hopped off his desk and jumped into his lap, resuming her kisses on his mouth - casually descending into his jaw and neck, enjoying the pleased hums that he lets out. He palmed her ass and firmly grabbed it, giving some gentle smacks as she had his fun with him. To Leon, in all of his life, that was his happiest moment: having his pretty princess on his lap, all naked, hypnotized in kissing and feeling him up.

“Go ahead, baby, let me finally empty your mind and use you” he calmly ordered her, caressing her cheeks adoringly. Soon, she positioned herself and slowly sat down on his cock, rolling her eyes back and holding into his chair behind him.

“S-so b-big…” she moaned, her head falling into his shoulders as the girl swallowed all of him. She was so tight, wet and perfect, Leon almost came deep in her cunt just by her inserting him. His head got dizzy for a moment, his hold on her ass tightening, as he grunted and pressed his eyes closed.

Dedicatedly, she began jumping up and down on his cock, their skin slapping as the woman looked directly into his eyes. If anyone saw them at that moment, they would attest that both had heart in their eyes. her tits jumped up and down in front of him, making his tongue and fingers play with them as the couple lost their minds in pleasure.

“Good job, doll… jumping on my cock like the good girl you are… it’s all for you, always for you” he said rambling in pleasure, busying his mouth to tell her praises and roll her sensitive nipples on his tongue, as her cunt drenched his cock, causing a white ring at the base.

Holding tightly into the back of his chair, her hips worked even faster on him, making Leon moan more frequently in pleasure, slapping her ass, leaving behind his handprints on her pretty skin. His head falls back as he watches the goddess in front of him taking what's hers and milking his cock into her hungry pussy. He would make sure that she passed her admission check, so every end of shift he would breed her cunt, till she is finally all of his - the mother of his children, his pretty wife. But that’s a talk for later.

After some minutes pass, Leon takes over and thrusts from below, making her body turn into his own ragdoll, her moans flowing freely into his mouth. Some minutes passed, and both were on the brink of their orgasm, so close to reaching their true paradise “Will you let me fill you, doll? Make your womb so full of me, gonna make you get home with me drenching on your legs” he taunted her.

Not handling much more teasing, and his words serving as a catalyst to her peak, she nods and coats his cock with her sweet arousal, biting down on his shoulder to drown out her sounds. Her roughness and the new tight hold on his cock makes him spill into her gummy walls, emptying himself. Finally, he marked her as his. His doll, his love, his property.

Both were coming down from their highs, trying to control their breathing, letting their heartbeat slow down. He caressed her hair, kissing her cheeks and nuzzling their noses together, all smiles. “So, did I help?” he asked jokingly.

“Didn’t even know why I came here” she answers teasingly.

From now on, Leon would never be exhausted for the wrong reasons ever again.

#leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy smut #resident evil #resident evil x reader #resident evil smut #leon x reader #leon smut #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy x y/n #infinite darkness #leon kennedy infinite darkness

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gnostiquette · 1 year

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the satan: oh foolish mortal...i greet you, to reveal your desires unto you! me: ok hey what's up the satan: i have decided to test you, to-day, to discern your commitment to The Good me: sounds great! so, do i have to reject a kingdom of glory and riches or refuse to jump off a building and make God save me or— the satan: oh no none of that. this'll be much simpler. i am going to present you with a series of ethical situations! ahahaha! me: oh sweet i think about these all the time the satan: perfect...it is time for The First Situation! now, picture a city that is so perfect, everyone is happy and no one is ever sad and there's cakes and festivals and orgies and— me: is this Omelas the satan: me: like this is just gonna be the Le Guin story with the kid in the basement right the satan: ...yeah. ok so there's the kid and the basement and there's the torture, ok yeah you know this one. right. so anyway...you have just learned about the kid being tortured in the basement. what is your judgement here? me: well uh, i guess i walk away the satan: aha but i didn't ask you what you'd do, did i? me: oh come on you tricky little fuck. ok. yeah this situation sucks the satan: and why, pray tell, do you say that is, despite all the happiness and nonsadness and cakes and festivals and orgies and whatnot? me: i suppose it's just that none of that shit justifies torturing a kid in a basement forever. also all that shit sounds kinda gay when you put it like that. like some weird Dutch fag shit the satan: ah. well, moving on, you whimsy-hating homophobe— me: what, just because i say that sounds like Dutch fag shit makes me homophobic? i'm gay you know i can call shit fag shit if i want the satan: —moving on, you would agree with the statement that whatever the consequence, it is inherently wrong to torture a child, hmm? me: well yeah that sounds about right the satan: aha...! me: wait why'd you make that noise the satan: wh-what me: that clicking noise. that was you right the satan: oh no no noise of things clicking into place emanated from my nostrils me: you worded that pretty weirdly, you know the satan: it's time for The Second Situation! you have cro— me: damn you just straight up evaded what i was saying the satan: —you have crossed The First Situation, i was saying, so now it is time for round two. ahem. now, firstly, would you agree that, in general, lying and stealing and cheating are bad? me: well, yeah. i don't like lying, and in general it seems pretty fucked up to cheat and steal the satan: so now you have come across a man in the street who is starving and wounded. after one hour he will die if he is not fed and treated for his wound. there is a store nearby but you are flat broke and have no pocket money, and begging isn't an option. even if you ask your friends to PayPal you they will not be able to get back to you for another two hours. the ER is too far away and there's too much traffic for an ambulance to arrive and take him there in less than an hour and a half, but there is a clinic nearby able to take anyone immediately. however the clinic only accepts people with insurance, and neither of you have an insurance card. you are, however, fairly confident that you can make up fake details that they would be willing to accept. me: what are you trying to write a Jacobin article or something. i'm already a socialist, you don't need to lay out how fucked up our healthcare system or whatnot is, i already know— the satan: okok sure this would never happen under socialism blahblahblah the point is what would you do in this situation me: but in the last one the point was my judgement not what i do. this is getting confusing the satan: DIFFERENT SITUATIONS HAVE DIFFERENT RULES OK?? GOD JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT FOR NOW God: OH HEY SATAN DID YOU JUST CALL UPON ME the satan: HOLD ON I'M STILL TESTING THIS GUY GIVE ME A SECOND God: OH OK THAT'S YOUR JOB AFTER ALL. I SHALL LEAVE YOU TO IT. JUST DON'T BE TOO MEAN

the satan: FUCK. ok. ok. anyway here's the question. assuming you're also relatively confident you can shoplift without getting caught, do you steal a couple things from the store for the man to eat and do you present fake information to the clinic to get them to accept the guy and treat his wound me: yeah totally. i don't want him to die or anything. i'd gladly do just about anything to save someone's life the satan: so in other words, doing bad things like lying, stealing, and cheating in order to accomplish a good thing such as saving a life is good, right? me: sure, i'd say so the satan: AAAAAHH-HAA! i have TRAPPED you! for your response to the first situation implies that good inheres in the act itself, regardless of consequences, and your response to the second implies that good inheres in the consequences of an act, regardless of the means!

me: i mean...not necessarily? like— the satan: wh-what do you mean, mortal me: well, perhaps i think the negative consequences of torture for the child far outweigh the positive consequences for everyone else the satan: what the fuck is that you're doing me: oh i mean you're doing red text, i figure i do blue text, i figure this is like an Umineko thing or whatever the satan: fine. sure. you can do that. whatever. none of this matters to me. why did i pick this fucking job in the first place me: the satan: ...ok, the townspeople get far more happiness than the kid gets suffering me: but what if suffering itself is worth more in moral accounting than happiness, for instance the satan: then how about this? in the second example, you could have caused the shop to shut down due to lost trust with the distributor! you could have caused the clinic to lose their licence over insurance fraud! those could have easily caused far more suffering than if the man simply passed out and died after an hour! me: that's...that sounds far-fetched, but you said it in red, so. ok what if good actually inheres in the character of the person doing the act, so a virtuous person would refuse to sanction torturing a child for the greater good and gladly steal and cheat to save a man's life the satan: virtue ethics is unable to provide actionable guidance! me: oh? the satan: all you can do is imagine what a virtuous person would do, and different people have wildly different imaginations! me: well hmm. that's fair. i'm not sure i could personally live with that, especially in an age where we're getting ever closer to potentially misaligned AI. what if there's rules that say you must never do some things but then other rules can be broken if there's something more important the satan: if those rules exist, then list them off and justify them to me >: ) me: uh, don't torture, don't rape...don't kill is up there, but what if you're killing someone to defend someone else...wait fuck no, what about bombing civilians to end a war, that doesn't sound justifiable at all...god damn it... God: OH HELLO YES I'M BACK the satan: NO FUCK NO WAIT NO God: HELLO DEAR SWEET MORTAL CHILD. IS MY EMPLOYEE BEING TOO HARD ON YOU? OH DEAR I CAN GIVE YOU AN ANSWER IF THIS IS GOING TOO POORLY the satan: oh come on please just let me do my job like normal God: MY DEAR LITTLE CREATURE I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU CAN SIMPLY RELY ON MY EDICT AND ALL THESE DILEMMAS BECOME AS DUST IN THE BROOM OF AN OLD FAT LADY me: why thank you, my Lord, but no matter how perfect You are, it remains that divine command theory is a fundamentally subjectivist theory that cannot provide a truly objective and impersonal basis for ethics, and subjective morality is not a risk i'm really willing to take God: BUT AREN'T I PERFECT FOR YOU AND ALL THINGS MY PRECIOUS LITTLE CREATION me: why, yes, but there's a small but persistent chance You're a figment of my imagination, just like the satan over here, and— the satan: hhHHEYYY NOW me: —and i know that You love righteousness, so really i'd rather continue pleasing You even if You weren't around to tell me what righteousness is God: WHY THAT IS VERY SWEET OF YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M JUST GOING TO STRAIGHT UP LIFT YOU TO HEAVEN LIKE THAT MERRY OLD FELLOW FAUST me: wait huh the satan: w-wait Lord don't you think you're being a bit hasty in judgement a chorus of angels: [grabbing me and lifting me into the aether] ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*HE WHO STRIVES ON AND LIVES TO STRIVE CAN EARN REDEMPTION STILL*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ me: [rapidly disappearing into the sky, utterly bewildered] wait. hold on. hold up. wait,

#ethics #metaethics #philosophy #this is what's going on inside my head 24/7

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ghouljams · 5 months

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college au soap is the guy who does no homework, skips most lectures, sleeps in class, has a firework display of a social life, somehow gets along with the teachers and has the most niche troublemaking stories to tell but still manages to obtain stellar grades

college au ghost is the quiet dilligent guy who everybody questions why he would ever hang out with someone as infamously chaotic as soap

Oh good I can use my dad's delinquent stories for Soap this is great. I have many College AU thoughts. Thank you for letting me be abnormal about these boys and their ability to function in an academic environment.

I disagree with Soap skipping lectures, I think he goes to every single one just to get them off course with his questions. Raising his hand every time to ask if the chemical properties of whatever the professor is talking about might be more useful elsewhere. The professors know he's basically a walking demolitions unit and they respond accordingly. He's well loved for being one of the smartest students in the chem major, but yeah the only homework he does is for labs. Soap and Gaz know everyone on campus, they have a "guy" for everything. If you want to know where the parties are you just have to find Soap.

Ghost is the quiet guy everyone thinks is a delinquent until they hang out with him and Soap and suddenly you realize oh no actually Soap is the troublemaker and Ghost is trying to keep him in line. College Ghost got hit a little too hard with the uncanny autism mannerisms stick. He stares a lot, stands a little too close, visibly moves away from people trying to touch him, finds strange angles to sit in because it's more comfortable... He's the campus cryptid. He is the absolute joy of his professors, oh my god. He doesn't do much talking in class, only offers a few corrections or comments that always come off as put downs because he just sounds like that. So he goes to office hours for his professors and has philosophy debates. When I tell you he's the golden boy... He's gotten multiple personally selected scholarships, no one has ever seen him turn in a paper on time.

Gaz is always in Price's office. He has a chair in there, that's his chair, he brought it and it's his, do not sit in his chair. He knows the dirt on every student in his major(and in band, but he actually likes them). I want to say if anyone is skipping class it's Gaz, but with two majors I think he's in class all the fucking time. He skips at least once a week just to get some fucking sleep. Do not ask Gaz how he's doing he will just stare at you. He's got 3 papers due tomorrow and you're asking him how he's doing. Is already being fought over by three different embassies and he just turned in his paperwork for an internship. Looking into graduate school because Price recommended it, and hating every second of it. Loves learning, hates school.

Price is the dream professor, but he's also got the most conflicting rate my professor reviews. You either love him or you fucking hate him. "I learned things about military conflicts I didn't even know existed" says one review. "Told me I had the moral backbone of an eclair because I didn't want to take sides in a class debate" says another. "Office hours overrun with band kids, you'll never get help unless you play tuba" says a third. Everyone is thirsting over him. He does his best to look professional for lecture but that just means a button down that inevitably will have the sleeves rolled up and a few buttons undone by the end of class. Love notes on the backs of tests are a frequent occurrence for him, but maybe if he stopped slutting it up in lecture this wouldn't be a problem. Has been told by administration multiple times that he can't smoke in his office, but he's tenured so what are they gonna do?

#ghoul speaks #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #captain john price #college au

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uarmymoonlight · 4 months

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after the afterparty

pairing: nerd!namjoon X ex-mean girl!reader

genre: frenemies (? sorta) to lovers, rivals to lovers, college!au, one-shot, angsty, smut,

summary: after a night of partying with your (now ex-)classmates, namjoon finds you alone in the kitchen and unspoken feelings and desires come rushing to the surface

warnings: NOT PROOFREAD, reader’s a bit of an asshole, namjoon kinda idolizes her, lots of untold backstory for the #angst, tit/nipple play, biting (lightly)

words: a little over 4.8k

taglist: @kyglover @luaspersona

crossposted on AO3: here.

image by @/chimigraphic on twitter

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You finally take a deep breath of the cold night air. Eyes closed, beer in hand, hip leaned in against the kitchen counter. Another deep breath.

This night took a real toll on you: 2 hours of pre-game plus 4 of partying and an unbelievable 2 and a half more of after-partying, all in the name of socialization and redemption. But it’s over now.

You let the silence embrace and erase you. The outdoor lights paint the room with a faint blue and the only sound is a car passing by and the sink leaking. It’s just you there. The rest have gone to bed – their own or someone else’s - or back to their own airbnbs. But, as tired as you are, you stay there in the kitchen. This last moment of silence before you leave this place for good. And these long nearly 9 hours of today won’t matter. The people at the party won’t matter. Not even that award-stealing, headache-inducing, infuriating, dimpled assh–

A noise stops your thoughts. You turn to your right to see Namjoon kneeling down to catch the water bottle he’d dropped.

“Namjoon.”

“Hey”, he licks his lips “I...I thought everyone else was gone or sleeping.”

“So did I.”

A beat of silence goes by and then another, a longer one. You could almost laugh at the silence that sets between the two of you. Had this happened a while back, you would’ve already told him to fuck off and probably insulted him somehow. Then again, had this been back then, he would’ve been vexing you endlessly by refusing to let the silence just be, doing that nervous back-and-forth on his heels he used to do all the time and talking your ear off.

This isn’t back then, however. So now, you’re just looking at each other.

Alright. You said you’d change your attitude, didn’t you? Here’s a test for you to prove you did. Your chance to do something to Namjoon you’ve never done before: be nice.

“Congratulations.”

He scoffs, incredulous.

“You’re congratulating me?”

You can’t say you’re surprised he asked. There was a time you’d rather have eaten your own two feet before ever complimenting Namjoon to his face, a time you’d have done anything to not stay in the same room as him. Let alone just the two of you together.

“Well, I did tell you I would, when you deserved it” you remind him “You won the academic decathlon, graduated top of the class, and you got the girl. You deserve it now, so there you go: congratulations.” you raise your glass slightly to him.

He hesitates.

“I got a girl.”

You wait for him to elaborate. He doesn’t. You keep staring at him with those piercing eyes of yours. He hates them. Hates how much he’s always been so aware of them. Hates how much he’s always been so desperate to understand the emotions behind them. But, most of all, he hates how beautiful he finds them, how much they make him feel so on the spotlight, so special.

He watches you open and close your mouth. Once. Twice. You’re speechless? Now here’s one for the history books, he thinks. You’re probably debating whether you should ask him or not about what he meant by that. And God, he hopes you do. He wants you to ask him, he so desperately does. He needs you to want to know what he means. He needs this opening to tell you exactly why Seulgi isn’t the girl, he needs this one chance to tell you what he’s been holding in for so long, the feelings that are always on the tip of his tongue.

Namjoon waits for you to ask. But you don’t. You look away.

You can’t ask him, because that question leads to things you’ve already shut the door of, a long time ago. And he should know better than to try and get it out of you. But he’s Namjoon. Namjoon, always the hopeful idealist, always wearing his heart on his sleeve. And you, always the scoffing pessimist, the egotistical cold bitch. So, you take the coward’s route and when you look back at him all you say is:

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” So there’s no point in talking about any of this, is what you don’t say.

“I know.”

Again, neither of you talk for a while. In silence, you simply look at each other. The air between you is tense with something neither could name exactly. Namjoon breaks the silence this time.

“Dance with me?” he extends his left hand to you.

“There’s no music.”

He shrugs and insists “Dance with me.”

You look at his still stretched hand towards you and it’s almost a perfect flashback of that one night so many nights ago. When he had also reached out for you, in ways more than just physical. When Namjoon had laid out so much of himself for you and all you did was spit it back at him.

“You owe me this one”, he says. Maybe he’s an ass for insisting on this, but God knows you actually do owe him at least this one. You do, and you know it. “You didn’t even talk to me at my party earlier”, he adds.

And it’s just another time that you realize he really is a much better person than you are for using the party as leverage, and not…Well, everything else you’ve done. It’s something you’re not sure you would’ve done for him.

You softly put down your beer on the counter, looking at it while you do so. Anything to not look at him just yet. You need those extra few seconds to…You don’t know what for. To prepare? To breathe? It isn’t to think, surely. Maybe that’s it. You need to not think about what you’re going to do. When the can touches the counter, you spin it a couple times, staring at the label.

With your peripheral vision, you can see Namjoon’s offering hand still out. Again, you remember another moment, a long time ago, when he offered his hand too. You had refused it. God, you suck at this not thinking thing. Andnd you suck at not being a coward.

You finally peel away from the counter and walk quietly to namjoon. You stare at his hand and, taking your time, you slide yours in it. Feeling every inch of his skin until both of your hands are completely touching, and when that happens, you feel a breath you didn’t realize you were holding come out. You feel a bit pathetic for it. The worst part is you hear Namjoon doing the same thing.

Namjoon is smart, you know that. You and everyone who saw him beat you at everything academic-related year after year after year. He’s smart. But he’s not truly smart. If he were truly smart, you think, he’d pull away right now. If he were, he’d turn his back away from you for good.

He doesn’t. He slides his hand from yours to your elbow, caressing your forearm on his way and pulls you in. His fingers on his right hand brush against you, starting with your fingers and going up until he settles it on your waist, pulling you in even more. Not letting go of your elbow, he places your hand on his chest and you complete the action by sliding both your arms around his neck.

You still haven’t looked in his eyes, focusing on his shirt. Actually, his chest. You’d rather not think about that.

You feel his presence all around you, feel him on your skin even though very few parts of you are really touching the other. You feel his head close to yours, your feet almost touching. The two of you stand locked in place.

“Namjoon?”

“Yes?” His voice is little more than a breath.

“Move.”

You hear him scoff lightly and get brave enough to glance at him through your eyelashes. Only a shadow of a smile rests on his lips, so his famous dimples are nowhere in sight.

As he begins to lead you, that quivering bravery you felt moments ago vanishes. You go back to staring at his shirt while embarrassingly hoping you don’t step on his toes. You'd count your steps, instead of just hoping you're doing it right. That is if you knew how to do that. Shouldn't there be music in order to properly count the steps? Isn't that how it works? You count by following the beat of the song, right? But, then again, there's supposed to be music when you dance regardless of the counting. God, what a stupid idea. Why did you agree to this anyway?

Namjoon pulls you even closer, joining your chests and your thighs together as you draw in a surprised breath and let out a sigh. Now, your nose brushes against his lips.

Ah, right. That is why.

You really can't do this not-thinking thing. Product of years over worrying about your social status and over analyzing every interaction you had to make sure you came out on top. It’s actually a lot of hard work being the main top bitch in the area.

Briefly, you wonder what people would think if they saw you right now in his arms. You wonder what Namjoon thinks of this whole scene.

And what an interesting scene it is: the dim lights covering you like a blanket while you quietly embrace, a dance that is little more than just swaying softly to a soundtrack of whispers and wind. You can see your pale reflections on the window. The image akin to that of ghost lovers lost to time, only united by the sound of emptiness when time is frozen. Maybe is because of that image of emptiness and stillness, and because you already decided to leave that you tell him:

"I'm sorry.” It's said so softly, so hopelessly, that Namjoon nearly misses it.

There’s so much he could say to that and yet…He puts a hand on your chin and pulls you away just enough to look at your face. With your eyebrows frowning and your beautiful eyes wide scanning him, you look as scared as Namjoon feels. Namjoon traces your face with his thumb: eyebrow to temple to cheek to your lips. This last caress makes your lips part a little, enough for only a thread of air to pass, and eyes flutter.

There’s so much he could say, but there's only one thing he wants.

Your lips touch in a strong kiss. A kiss that is like that first leap of courage into a cold pool. You know the water will be cold at first, but you also know that if you don't jump, you'll never get into the pool. And just like in a pool, neither of you breathe for a while. Just like in a pool, Namjoon is terrified of that first splash of water, scared you'll push him away.

The kiss ends and you catch your breaths. Not for long, though. You grab the lapel of his jacket to pull him in again and relock your lips. Now, you make sure it's a proper kiss, you take your time learning how to kiss him and how you two fit. After a swirl of your tongue, you feel his hand on your lower back put more pressure and pin you closer. Your legs open slightly and he puts one of his legs a little in between yours, his crotch rubbing against yours as you kiss. As you sink your finger deeper into his jacket, Namjoon firmly grabs the back of your neck and presses his hold. The shivers all over your body and your moan encourage him.

A surprised gasp leaves you when Namjoon, with one hand grabbing your neck and the other around your waist, moves you until your back is against a wall. The cold surface touching your back provides a small break from the hot and heavy air between you and him. A small part of you - the part that isn’t busy kissing him - is a little shocked at how strong he got. When you first met him, he was all height and bones. You’d heard he’d started going to the gym some semesters ago, but you sorta refused to really acknowledge it and, when your eyes and body acknowledged that independently, your brain made a conscious choice to ignore it. At the moment, you don’t have much brainpower to make any choice besides making out with him.

Namjoon likes to think he's self aware enough to not be an arrogant prick, but he can't stop the feeling of pride taking over him as you touch him with such clear appreciation of his new physique. He responds to it with his own devotion, intoxicated by your trademark perfume, the same lingering scent that would always tempt him whenever you left a room.

You feel his toned chest and your hands travel along his strong shoulders. And you feel a bit stupid, a bit clichè, because you put your hands on his upper arms and squeeze his biceps. Kinda like in those stupid movies where the sweet bimbo cheerleader fakes coyness as she fawns over the totally not humble quarterback’s muscles. Okay, so, yeah, maybe it’s a bit eye-rolling worthy, but God! his biceps! If his biceps weren’t enough…his thighs! His thighs are huge and strong and you think you’re not really ashamed of how you gladly let him put one of them between your legs. Also, you don’t care that you two are unabashedly dry humping each other, like two horny inexperienced teenagers. Well, suppose that goes with the cheerleader-quarterback thing. Besides, Namjoon certainly doesn’t seem to mind, guiding and motivating your movements by stroking your ass.

Jesus, dry humping someone should not feel this good. You keep going, more, more and more, feeling yourself get wetter with each move, feeling Namjoon get harder each time you feel his dick brushing against your lower belly. He lifts your leg and repositions himself at a better angle so it isn’t just the friction that’s doing it for you, but the hard pressure of his dick too making you nearly lose your mind in need of him - and he's barely touched you. How come you're affected by him like this?

You open your eyes to see him leaving messy kisses along your skin, making his way down your neck past your collarbones. When he reaches your cleavage he makes it a point to maintain eye contact and lazily kisses the space between your breasts. Again, Namjoon isn't particularly conceited, still, he shows a boastful smirk at your eyes rolling back in pleasure. He continues his way down your body, his hands trailing its contours and feeling the soft silk of your dress he wished you weren’t wearing.

To him, you’re beautiful like a queen: proud, imposing, and powerful. You’ve always been. He thinks it’s your sharp, intelligent eyes, your intent look, but it’s also your straight and confident posture. Looking at you at the moment, though he can still see that spark of intelligence, your eyes are heavy-lidded. Your posture is not insecure, it’s solicitous, fully ready to give in to him. But you’re still you and because you’re still you that there’s still a hint of royal impatience in the way you press yourself against his body, demanding more out of him.

The vision of him going down past your belly button makes you take a breath and arch your back in anticipation. You'd sooner kill yourself before saying you felt butterflies in your stomach, but you do feel something. It takes all your little sense of self control to not grab his hair and lead him straight to where you want him. You don’t have a chance to actually do this since he’s already dipping even lower, eyeing you with malice and desire and nearly driving you crazy with need. You feel your nipples harden when he strokes your folds through your panties with his thumb before pushing the clothing aside.

“Namjoon”, you moan.

He lets out a low growling sound at that and begins exploring your pussy. Fingers and tongue take turns touching and tasting you. His fingers open and stretch you while his mouth sucks on your clit. You think you mumble something along the lines of “yes” and “there” a few times. Your fingers curl in response and your hips move following his rhythm. He licks and sucks and tastes and touches and strokes and you feel yourself closer to cumming with each movement.

Once more, you catch a glimpse of yourselves in a window. The sight is one of pure depravation. You see how dishelved you look, your lips swollen from the kisses and hair an entangled mess on your head, dress hiked up as one of your legs is proped up on Namjoon’s shoulder, a hand of his squeezing your thigh.You’re a bit impressed at how he’s still at it, when your last few hook-ups seemed to want to eat you out as quickly as possible only to say they did it. You’ve never really seen a man who seems so happy to eat pussy like Namjoon. You watch your reflection for a little bit longer while he continues edging you.

Enough. You need all of him now.

“Namjoon”, you say breathlessly. It was a command, but your mind can only think about his tongue on your pussy. You try again. You forcefully pull his head back “Namjoon.”

He hisses a bit due to the force of you pulling his hair.

“Yes, Your Highness?” you squint your eyes in annoyance hearing the mocking nickname he gave you so long ago. You hated the nickname, because you knew it wasn’t a compliment, just a veiled insult of his. However, hearing it while he’s on his knees for you…not bad, you think, not bad at all. Especially when his already deep voice sounds deeper and raspy, the words coming out with a drawl.

“Bedroom. Now.”

He’s up in a second, leading you upstairs. The way up is confusing and chaotic, with the two of you nearly running but barely letting go of each other, hot and lewd kisses exchanged while you walk. You have no idea how Namjoon finds the right door. He stops kissing you only to open the bedroom’s door, which you quickly shut behind you. He tries to put you against it, but you flip him and press him to the door instead.

For a moment, you only look at him. Spreading your hands on his muscular chest, you listen to your heavy breathing.

“Y/N.”

You kiss him again. You put your lips on his neck and take your time there, busying your hands with taking off his jacket and then unbottuning his shirt. When you finish, you stroke his bulge through his pants. Namjoon lets out a hungry hiss that has you rubbing your thighs together. The point of stroking him was to tease Namjoon, you wanted to see if you could get him so worked up as he’d done to you. Unfortunately for you, you find out that that’s a double edged sword and it’s sharper end is pointed towards you, because the more you touch him the more you feel yourself get hotter. Having him in your hand only makes your mouth water.

There’s only one thing you can think of right now. You pull his member out of his pants, stroking the full length once before you turn him and push him down on the bed. Namjoon watches you crawl onto the bed and fully take off his pants and underwear. It’s not slow and sweet or careful. Every motion of yours is aggressive and fast, eyes gleaming with a hungry determination Namjoon is sure is mirrored in his own eyes. You’re beautiful, so so beautiful. On all fours over him like a fucking lioness ready for her meal. Just looking at you like this makes him even harder.

Maybe the gentlemanly thing would be to stop and tell you there’s no need to repay the favor of earlier. But, well, maybe Namjoon isn’t a gentleman, after all. And he’d surely never deny you of anything, not when you so clearly want him. The idea of you wanting him just a fraction of how much he wants you is the best feeling in the world. Or rather, the second best. Because the first is definitely the feeling of your mouth on him.

You take his full length in your mouth, coating his dick with your saliva. Namjoon watches as you alternate between teasing kitten licks on his cockhead and properly sucking him off, your hands griping the base of his cock. God, you’re not simply beautiful, you’re gorgeous. He fights against the urge to roll back in his eyes in order to watch you going down on him. Your hair is thrown around, some of it tickling his thigh while your head keeps bobbing up and down, your makeup is smeared and your dress is a crumpled mess. And you’re gorgeous.

You make eye contact with him with your lips still wrapped around him and he thinks he’s gonna die. Or cum. Probably both. Maybe it’s his dick talking, but he thinks he’d die happy right now.

“Tell me what you like”, you tell him.

“You.”

The immediate blurted out answer shocks you a bit. You scoff.

“You really can’t keep it in.”

In the split second you don’t move, Namjoon starts to deflate. He ruined everything. He waits for you to get up and leave.

You don’t.

You lean forwards and kiss him. The kiss is nothing more than just the press of your lips together. You ignore the still lingering doubt in Namjoon’s eyes. Reaching past him, you go through the drawers on the nightstand. As you look for condoms, your tits are hanging above Namjoon’s head and he peppers kisses on them. After a few seconds, you get the condom out the drawer.

Namjoon tries taking it out of your hands.

“Give me, I can do it.”

“No”, you stop him. “It’s fine.”

You kiss him lightly on the cheek. Namjoon has to stop for a bit. You’d never been so…soft with him before. Not even in those few months long ago when you had been something akin to friends.

Not wasting any time, you put the condom on his cock. You quickly take your panties off and guide his lenght to where you want it. You two stare at each other as you sink yourself on his cock. Moaning at how he stretches you out. You love how full he makes you feel. He’s so big, his cock makes you feel so good. Having him in your mouth was one thing, having him inside you was heavenly. You place a hand on Namjoon’s chest.

“Lay down.”

Because you personally believe feminism is about having a buff hot nerdy guy under you while you get yourself off.

Head on the pillows, he watches you move your hips, leading him in a slow sensual rhythm. Moaning, your head rolls back in pleasure, mouth open to help you breathe better. The two of you pick up the pace, you bouncing on his cock a little then reverting back to grinding.

“Y/N, your dress. Please.”

Understanding what he means, you pull your dress above your head and toss it to the side. With both hands holding your hips, he only gives your tits a dazed glare. He keeps watching when you take your own hand and play with your tits. Namjoon growls and thrusts his hips upwards harder when you lick two of your fingers and use them to play with your nipples, caressing and pinching them, your palms massaging the rest of the soft flesh.

“Like that?”

The raspiness of your voice, that sparkle of meanness in your eyes, that one raised eyebrow on your face…it’s all almost too much for Namjoon. You are gorgeuous. And he’s so impossibly hard.

“Yeah.”

The word almost doesn’t come out. You shake your head and giggle at him. Only you. Only you could be bouncing on a guy’s cock, suck him off, have him eat you out, and, with just a little giggle, make the guy blush. Still, if feels so good to make you laugh. Even if it’s at him. So good.

Almost beats being inside of you. Almost.

Namjoon flips you and lays you down on the bed. Immediately after you hit the mattress, he’s already on you, mouth licking and sucking on you tit. His pace gets faster, more franctic, more desperate. Hitting deeper and deeper. When he hits a sweet spot, you moan louder.

“Yeah, there. More. More. Yes. Yeah,” you repeat the words like a mantra.

“So beautiful”, he tells you. “Almost there, baby.”

God, the pet name. “Can’t take it anymore”, you say.

“Yeah, you can, baby. You can take it all.”

He knows you can. You - open wide for him, hair spread on the pillows like a halo, nipples hardened for him, pussy clenching around him - can take it. You are the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

On top of you, Namjoon looks like a fucking beast, in the best way possible. Eyebrows furrowed and barring his teeth, his honey skin sprinkled with sweat. A drop of it slips from his forehead and falls on your cheek and you finally cum. Moaning his name over and over. He put his mouth again on your tit, gritting your nipple between his front teeth. With a final moan out of you, Namjoon empties himself inside the condom.

For a few seconds, you don’t move, just listen to each other breathing. Namjoon feels himself getting softer inside you and, on the back of his mind, he dreads the moment he pulls out from you. Dreads the moment you realise whatever you were doing was over, and so was your business with him.

Still, he can’t stay inside you forever. He pulls out.

He busies himself with taking the condom off him and throwing it away while he notices you get tissues from the nightstand to clean yourself up. He mentally kicks himself for not doing it for you, but then again, maybe you don’t want him doing this for you. That’s another kind of intimacy you haven’t given him the greenlight to do. Your voice breaks him out of his thoughts.

“Where’s the bathroom?”

You put your dress back on and his heart aches. “First door to the right. Hey, uh - “ he begins before you leave “I’ll go get water. Do you want some?”

You shake your head and leave the room.

Silently, he puts his underwear and pants back on and goes to the kitchen, trying all the way down to not think of you.

He stays a little bit longer than needed in the kitchen. Even after everything, he still can’t feel sure of anything with you. There’s still that ugly feeling of inadequacy whispering in his head that he shouldn’t get his hopes up. Tonight was just a fluke.

Namjoon goes back to the bedroom expecting you to not be there anymore. He imagines you jumping out of the bathroom window to escape him or sneaking off through the roof. If he wasn’t busy feeling sorry for what you two could’ve been, he’d probably laugh at the scenarios he made up.

When he opens the bedroom door, though, he finds you there. Curled up under the sheets on one side of the bed. Your eyes are closed and your face is serene. He hesitates.

“You’re not gonna sleep?”

You ask without opening your eyes. Namjoon doesn’t answer, but he climbs onto bed behind you. He doesn’t touch you, but he’s close enough that you feel his warmth beside you and his breathing on your neck.

A while of silence goes by. He’s not sure if you’re already asleep. However, there’s one more thing he needs to say to you, even if you don’t hear it. Something he was too much of a coward to say before.

“Stay.”

You open your eyes. You’re careful to make no move to alert him you’re still up.

You think about his request. Stay. Part of you wants to, part of you - a very small and recent part of you that is hopeful, a part that is only there because Namjoon coaxed it out of you - says you could stay. Stay. You could stay with him. Stay in his bed. In this city. Stay…

Like you said, though, that is a very small part of you. The biggest one is a coward.

When Namjoon wakes up to an empty side of the bed the next day, he instantly knows what happened.

You left.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

author’s note: my first attempt at writing smut (at least full on smut, star to finish), hope it doesn’t suck :DDDD any and all feedback/comments are appreciated

#kim namjoon x reader #kim namjoon imagine #kim namjoon smut #kim namjoon fanfic #rm x reader #rm imagine #bts fic #bts x reader #bts fanfic #bts angst #bts smut #my writing #kim namjoon #namjoon #rm #bts

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toournextadventure · 11 months

Text

our little secret ii

Summary: You're never one to turn down a weekend with Lorraine. But everyone seems to think it's the perfect time to remind you of the reality of the situation. At least the rodeo clowns get paid for what they do; you seem to do the job for free. At least you get to have some fun with Lorraine before resuming your Good Girl act.

Word Count: 8.5k Warnings: 18+ smut, swearing, religious trauma, religious homophobia, blasphemy Pairing: Lorraine Day x Fem!Reader (our little secret i) (our little secret ii) (our little secret iii) (our little secret iv)

"Mornin', darlin'."

You kept your eyes trained on Beau in the corral when you felt Huck's arm brush against your own before he slung it over your shoulder. Instinct had you leaning into him. He smelled like fresh sawdust and hay. Smelled like comfort.

"Mornin'," you replied softly.

"Where's your better half?" He asked. That did have you tilting your head to look up into his sparkling eyes and kind smile.

"Which one?" You asked. "RJ's?" You turned to look back at the corral. "Or ours?"

"That idjit ain't nobody's better half." You felt his body shake with a laughter that you couldn't quite hear.

"Ain't that God's honest truth," you said when his fella, bless his heart, tried to wave to the both of you and was toppled over by a stray calf.

"I meant Lorraine," Huck said once you both made sure Beau was on his feet and safe again. "She at another shoot?"

"Yeah," you sighed. Lorraine's smile flashed in your mind's eye. "Guess they're gettin' good at it cause they're gone all the time now."

"Ain't that a good thing though?" He asked. The bell rang, making you jump. You hated when they tested the damn bell. "Means they're doin' somethin' right."

"Guess so," you mumbled to yourself.

You did hope they were doing something right. Lorraine mentioned that she genuinely loved making the films; not always being in them, but the behind-the-scenes, technical side of it. Her face always lit up when she talked about it and you would never wish for her to fail even if it meant RJ had to succeed with her.

But you missed her. You missed having more than two or three days together at a time before she had to leave again. It wasn’t her fault, and you wanted her to have the successful film career she wanted, and you honestly trusted Jackson more than you trusted RJ. None of it really meant much when you couldn’t even talk to her though.

Another calf ran in front of you, beating out the wrangler once again and pulling you back to the present. Seemed they would be the winners over the weekend if they kept it up. It always made for a less than exciting rodeo if the calves kept winning. What fun was there in no one even qualifying? It wasn't like there was any real compet-

"-What the hell is he doin'?" You asked, pointing to where Beau was donning a very specific vest.

"Better not be what I think it is," Huck mumbled before putting his fingers to his lips and whistling.

Beau turned instantly, eyes landing on the both of you for only a moment before he started jogging over. His boots left the smallest cloud of dust behind him until he hopped onto the fence you were both leaning against. He instinctively went to kiss Huck before remembering where he was, redirecting the kiss to your cheek.

"What on God's green earth do you think you're doin' with that on?" You asked as you pulled him by the top of his vest.

“One of the bullfighters got hurt,” he said. “I offered to help since we don’t compete this weekend.”

“Like hell you did,” you said. Just the mere thought of him being in that corral with the bulls had your pulse racing in your ears.

“It’s one weekend, darlin’,” he said with that stupid smile that always got him into trouble. “It’ll be fun-”

“-Beauregard Callaway, you march back over there right this instant and tell them no.”

“You just got full-named,” Huck said quietly enough for only the three of you to hear.

“I can’t just quit-”

“-Huck,” you scolded, turning to look at him next. “Tell him,” you gestured your head to Beau and raised your brows, “before I full-name you next.”

Huck looked between you and Beau as if he was caught between two lions. Which he was, but he better be more afraid of you. Beau was his lover, sure, but you were the scary one. Out of your whole friend group when you were all little, you were the one capable of instilling the fear of god into anyone.

Now was no exception.

“I’d tell ‘em no, baby,” he said to Beau with a shrug.

“That the best you can do?” You scolded again.

“Darlin’, you know he don’t listen to me-”

“-That’s enough, the both of you,” Beau interrupted. “I done said yes already and it’s only one weekend.” He looked you each in the eye before he smiled. “Ain’t never been hurt before.”

“And you ain’t gonna get hurt, right Beauregard?” You asked with a raised brow.

“If the crick don’t rise,” he said with a wink at Huck before hopping off the fence and starting his walk back to the gate.

“You get hurt and I’ll kill you myself!” You shouted after him. He didn’t look back, but flipped his hand up in a half-hearted wave of acknowledgment. Huck laughed beside you and you turned to glare at him next. “You too, Hucksley.”

“Well shit, darlin’, no need to drag me into it,” he grumbled as his smile fell. “I ain’t even the one in trouble.”

“Not yet,” you said quietly before looking back out at the corral once again.

It was mid-afternoon by the time they let Beau go for the rest of the evening, convinced he was good enough for the actual rodeo over the weekend. You made sure to slap him upside the head when he came back around just as an added threat. If he got hurt, you would make it a dozen times worse without hesitation.

“We headin’ to your daddy’s again?” Huck asked when he started the truck up.

“Think so,” you said as you leaned forward between the two front seats. “Momma was s’posed to make supper.” You took note of their linked hands near the center console and smiled to yourself.

Would you ever be able to hold Lorraine’s hand out in the open like that? To just drive around, laughing and singing to the radio without a care in the world? It was finally the ‘80s, surely that had to count for something. Not that the year had anything to do with the many other reasons you weren’t with her.

You’re going to hell, your mind reminded you. It’s a sin. Right. There was a much bigger reason. It continued to eat you from the inside out, picking you apart like a kid feeding bread to the ducks at the pond. Or, what was that old story you heard back in school… Prometheus, that Greek god. The one who had his liver pecked out day after day.

Yeah. Yeah, that’s how it felt.

“Seems your favourite family came over too,” Beau said when he parked the car in front of your house beside the Days’ van. Well, RJ’s van.

“Fantastic,” you mumbled and rolled your eyes.

You didn’t wait for them as you stormed out, slamming the door so hard it shook the truck. No waiting as you stomped up the porch steps, standing outside with your hand on the door handle and taking the moment to just breathe. Daddy couldn’t see you losing it, because what could you possibly say to explain it?

Hey daddy, sorry I’m upset, I’m just tired of seeing the girl I love be with a man that can help her achieve her dreams. Yeah, because that would go over so well.

The moment your breathing had evened out enough to be considered normal, you entered the house to hear excessive talking and laughter. Typical for your household, and it actually brought a smile to your lips. You could hear your parents, and the Days, and the dogs were yappin’ and it was a wonderful atmosphere.

But when you stepped through the kitchen doorway and saw Lorraine sitting on RJ's lap, that sinking feeling settled in your stomach again. He's her boyfriend, you tried to reason, Huck has to watch Beau do the same thing. But that didn't ease the ache from every breath.

"Evenin', y'all," Huck said when he and Beau creeped up behind you. He patted your shoulder lightly before squeezing by you to make his rounds.

"How was setup?" Your daddy asked when Beau shook his hand.

"Smooth as ever," Beau answered with a grin that made your daddy smile.

It made you sick.

"Momma, can I help?" You asked as you walked over to where she was cooking. You didn't want to listen to everyone's conversations.

It was impossible to stop yourself from cocking your head to listen whenever Lorraine spoke. You wished she would speak louder; she was always far too quiet even when she was the most comfortable. A soft voice for a soft girl, your momma had said one day before Lorraine went off to college.

She still tried to hide her face, but not quite so much in your house. Maybe it was the atmosphere everyone created, or just the fact everyone knew it to be a “house of God himself,” thanks to your daddy. You didn’t know, all you knew was you preferred to be in either yours or her house; at least she let you see all of her that way.

Jimmy, Liz, and Roy came in from the back door while you were helping your momma set the food on the table. Jimmy and Liz were all over each other, which was no surprise, and he got a nice smack to the head with momma’s dish towel. Roy on the other hand looked utterly exhausted. Something which was also no surprise.

When your momma announced dinner was ready, everyone took their seats at the large table in the dining room. Huck and Beau sat together, of course, and so did all the other couples. Leaving you to sit with Roy, who gave you a small, reserved smile with a far away look in his eyes.

“Hey, bubba,” you said quietly while everyone else was still talking far too loud.

“Alright y’all,” your daddy said in his booming preacher’s voice, “join hands so we can pray.”

You all did exactly that. Beau gently grasped your left hand while Roy held your right in a vice grip. As your daddy prayed, you could feel the little bones in your hand shift when Roy gripped you tighter, and you knew it would be bruised tomorrow morning. But it seemed to help even his breathing, so you kept your mouth shut until daddy was done.

“Amen,” your daddy said, and everyone mumbled their own amens to follow suit.

Everyone started serving themselves, conversations flowing steadily and easily over the sound of utensils against plates. The dogs were smart, they stayed under the table in between yours and Roy’s legs. They knew you two were most likely to feed them, and what do you know, you always did. You tried to be sneaky about it, hushing them up when they smacked too loud.

Roy didn’t care, he just shamelessly gave them whatever he didn’t want.

“How’s the film business goin’, RJ?” Your daddy asked. You nearly choked on your food at the question.

“Good,” RJ answered with a slow nod as he finished chewing. “I’m hopin’ to have another one finished in a few weeks.”

“Am I ever gonna get to see one of them films?” Your daddy asked.

“Absolutely not,” you said quickly. Far too quickly. Everyone turned to look at you with a mix of emotions. “It just- it ain’t your style,” you tried to explain; a bead of sweat dripped down the back of your neck. “Not a Western, you know?”

“Hmm,” your daddy hummed. “You’re right then, I’ll pass.”

Everyone in the younger group sighed in relief, more than happy that your daddy had agreed with you. Conversation flowed again, going from the rodeo to Lorraine’s college to Jimmy’s seminary. Never to you or Roy, who everyone had determined over the last few weeks was going to stay put. You were no longer going to seminary because someone had to lead the church, and Roy was staying because he had lost his mind.

A typical situation.

“All I know is y’all better be careful out there,” your daddy said. He always seemed to be the voice that brought you out of your own thoughts. It probably meant something deeper that you didn’t want to think too hard about. “The world is turnin’ into a dangerous place.”

“It’s always been dangerous, Pap,” Jimmy chuckled. “We just got more TV and radio to tell us about it.”

“I’m serious, Jim,” your daddy said. “I don’t want none of y’all to get mixed up with those crowds out there.”

“And what crowds would that be, daddy?” You asked. All of you had half-hidden smiles because he usually had something ridiculous to say that you would all agree to and then laugh about later.

“Those damn homosexuals, for one,” he said with a grimace. Everyone around the table froze.

Your eyes stayed glued to the fork you had just stabbed into a potato. The hair on the back of your neck stood up as you felt everyone staring, looking around at each other in uncomfortable silence. With your pulse rushing in your ears and your heart threatening to jump out of your chest, you swore everyone else could hear it too.

“Gonna be infectin’ us with their disease if we don’t watch out,” he continued as if he didn’t care how everyone had stopped moving. “Y’all better stay away.”

“They’re just people, Pap,” Jimmy said in a small voice. A blackness started to encroach on your vision.

“Dangerous, Godless people,” your daddy said. “Which is why y’all have to stick together.”

“They’re still kids Robert-”

“-Stay right by God,” he interrupted your momma. "All of y'all are in good, Godly relationships,” you could feel him looking at you but you still couldn’t look up. It felt like the room was closing in on you. "Stay that way."

“We’ll be careful,” RJ said, his voice putting a lump in your throat that you couldn’t swallow.

“Keep him around, Lorraine,” your daddy said. “He’ll take care of you-”

-you slammed your hands on the table and stood up. The ringing in your ears was drowning everything out and that blackness was covering more and more ground. You could feel each individual grain of the wooden table underneath your fingertips.

He’ll take care of you.

“I ain’t feelin’ too good,” you said around the invisible ball of cotton in your mouth. “May I be excused?”

“Sure, honey-”

-you didn’t wait for your momma to finish talking before you left the kitchen through the back door, your feet taking you straight to the barn. He’ll take care of you. Why did he have to say that? Why did he have to say that in front of you? Wasn’t it enough that you had to break bread with RJ without getting it thrown in your face?

He'll take care of you.

You bit back the scream threatening to claw up your throat until you tasted blood. It filled your mouth until you swore you would choke on it. Part of you hoped you would; give you an excuse to end the mental anguish that constantly flooded your thoughts.

He’ll take care of you.

Like hell he would. Like hell. He couldn’t even take care of himself, how could anyone even possibly think he could take care of Lorraine? All he was was a wannabe filmmaker that wouldn’t even dare show y’all his films. So how on god’s green earth would he take care of Lorraine? Your Lorraine?

The dull thud of your boots on the dirt transitioned to the whispered slap of concrete when you walked through the barn doors and everything stopped. Stepping into the barn was like stepping into another world; all the noise and troubles from the outside ceased to exist, even if just for a few moments.

It was replaced by the smell of gravel, dirt, and oil. Occasionally sawdust depending on the time of year. The separation was in the temperature drop, thanks to the partial concrete floor and huge space. There was something hypnotising about the sound of the metal walls creaking in the wind outside, yet everything was painfully still inside.

Something brushed up against your jean-clad leg and you nearly jumped from the intrusion to your thoughts. But then you took notice of the black and white tail curling around your calf and your heart rate started to lower again.

“Hey, Miss Kitty,” you mumbled as you bent down and held your hand out to the grumpy old barn cat. “You get locked in?”

She didn’t even dignify your question with a meow before walking off, her tail slinking away from your leg slowly until she was heading out the barn door. Not even a glance back to say goodbye. The complete nerve of that cat.

“I hope you done get ‘et by a coyote,” you called after her as she continued to sashay away. “Then we can finally quit pickin’ up strays.”

“Be nice to her,” Lorraine said softly, though the barn amplified it. “After all, we picked you up.”

“No, you picked RJ up,” you shot back while you straightened back up. “He just proves my point.”

“It isn’t his fault,” she said just as softly as she stepped closer to you. You took a single step back.

“No it ain’t,” you said. Stay right by God. “Clearly it’s God's.”

“Don’t go down that rabbit hole,” Lorraine warned, stepping forward again and placing a hand on your cheek before you could run away.

Her hand was soft, far too soft to be touching you. Why would she be so gentle with you when you were nothing but hidden anger and blasphemous words? And yet you wouldn’t push her away to spare her from your own sins. You wanted to pull her closer, feel her skin under your touch, have her name fall from your lips like a prayer.

“Please stay,” you whispered when you finally dared to meet her eyes.

The short nails on her fingers scratched lightly against your cheek. It was a little too light, hypnotising in the wrong way. There was nothing grounding about it, you felt like you were in a daze. You needed something more, something to drag you back down to earth where you belonged.

“Please,” you whispered again in a broken voice.

“I can’t,” Lorraine whispered back before leaning up and pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. “Everyone is waiting.”

And that right there? That killed you.

—---

At the rate you were going, you might as well start getting paid to be the rodeo clown.

You didn’t know which one of those pea-pickin bastards had done the deed, but someone had invited Lorraine and RJ to the rodeo for the weekend. Part of you highly suspected your mother, but the bashful look on Huck’s face almost made you think it was him. Regardless of who it was, you hadn’t been prepared to deal with the both of them over the weekend.

Was getting rejected in your own barn not punishment enough? Now you had to get publicly humiliated too? Not that anyone knew of your little secret, but it still rubbed salt in the wound. At least you could be down near the corral while RJ and Lorraine were in the stands behind the safety railing. Kept them far enough away from you to relax.

And maybe gave you the perfect position to look at Lorraine, but that was just an added bonus to the situation. It was no less than you deserved for having to put up with all of them for the weekend. You could be forgiven for wanting something pretty to look at while you were having your heart ripped out.

“He looks mighty handsome today, don’t he?” Huck asked, his eyes glued to where Beau was standing around with some of the other volunteers.

“No he don’t,” you said without even looking. “Looks like he needs his ass whooped.”

“You ain’t even lookin’,” he huffed.

You turned your head to finally look where Beau was standing and, you hated to admit, he did look mighty handsome in his new jeans and shirt.

“I looked,” you said, doing your best not to smile. “Still needs his ass whooped.”

"You're so grumpy,” Huck grumbled. You turned your head back to where Lorraine was sitting and felt an icy grip enclose around your heart. "You need to get laid."

“Ain’t that the truth,” you whispered.

The rodeo continued on.

You could tell Huck was getting anxious when the team roping started. Unlike Beau, he actually used the sport in the real world on his neighbour’s ranch. A skill that Beau considered recreational, yet to Huck it was necessary. It made for a fun dynamic, you wouldn’t deny it, especially when they got into arguments about the rules and regulations. Always did make for an exciting night.

But now you could tell he just missed it. He was never one to enjoy sitting on the sidelines, even when it wasn’t his own sport. It was sweet, truly it was, but if he didn’t quit bouncing his leg on the railing and forcing you to suffer with him, you were going to throw him to the bulls. And not the sexy ones.

“I’m beggin’ you to stay still,” you groaned. You reached your hand out and pressed down on his shoulder to ground him into the dirt. “You’re worse than Jim on Christmas.”

“I ain’t doin’ nothin’,” Huck said even as you could practically feel his body vibrating from the effort to stay still. “But you are awful pretty when you beg.”

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that,” you said as you did your best not to laugh at the ridiculous smile on his face.

"You askin' Lorraine to the hoedown tonight?" Huck asked once the roping was done. Now that you both had a bit of time to look away, it was the perfect time to keep talking.

"Course not," you said with a scrunch of your nose. "She's with RJ."

"Not tonight," he said with a shake of his head and a sniffle; it must have been from the dust. "He's leavin' now."

You turned when Huck gestured his head and saw he was right; RJ was in the process of packing his stuff up. He never had been one for rodeo life. Hell, he didn't even enjoy the events to begin with. All he ever wanted was to try and make a good film out of it and that just wasn't easy enough for him. It'd be a shame if someone finally told him you had to know the sport to film it well.

A damn shame, that was for sure.

"Hurry up before she leaves too," Huck said, pulling you out of your thoughts.

You opened your mouth to argue, but he pushed you forward off the railing. The dirt flew into a small cloud around your boots when you landed, and you sent him a quick glare before jogging over to where Lorraine and RJ were standing up. She seemed much more eager to stay, but you knew she wouldn't if she felt she was alone. That damn shotgun had done a number to her, physically and mentally.

"Leavin' already?" You asked as you quickly hopped up on the railing to be face-to-face with the lovely couple.

"Tryin' to," RJ said with a polite smile that said mind your business. "But we'll be back tomorrow."

"There's a hoedown tonight," you said before he could drag Lorraine away. "Me and the boys were wantin' Lorraine to join us." She turned to look at you with the slightest sparkle in her eye. "Like old times."

"Alright," RJ said without hesitation. It was evident he just wanted to get out of the stadium. Rodeos really weren't his cup of tea. "Need a ride home?"

"She can stay with me," you said before Lorraine could even open her mouth. "Also like old times."

Even though you weren't looking at her, you could feel Lorraine's eyes boring holes into the side of your head. She wasn't stupid; she knew exactly what you were doing. "Old times" just meant Huck and Beau ran off while you and Lorraine had your own fun. But there was the catch; only y'all knew what "old times" meant. Everyone else just thought you were acting like kids all over again.

Oh how sweet.

"Then I'll see you tomorrow, Raine," RJ said, leaning over to give her one more kiss. You quickly wiped the instinctive snarl off your face when he pulled away. "Y'all have fun."

"We will," you and Lorraine said at the same time.

You both watched and waited until he was out of sight before you pulled her over the railing. She yelped out in surprise before her feet hit the dirt and you could take her hand, leading her to where Huck was still waiting. He gave her his best smile and pulled her into a hug when you both got close enough.

"So we've successfully kidnapped you for the night?" Huck asked.

"Seems so," Lorraine said with a raised brow. "Would've been nice to have a warnin’ first."

"Keep your watchdog away for more than two seconds and I'll warn you next time," you said.

"He's not a watchdog," Lorraine said as you both climbed up on the railing, her in between you and Huck.

"Oh, my apologies," you said softly, "I meant your parasite."

"Oh hush up,” she mumbled as she slapped both you and Huck, who weren’t even trying to stifle your laughter. “You need to be nicer to him.”

“Actually, the Lord told me personally that I can be mean,” you said after you managed to calm your laughter down. “I ain’t one to disobey the Big Man.”

“You are a blasphemer that’s goin’ to hell,” Lorraine retorted. But the smile on her face was enough to show her intentions.

“You two are disgustin’,” Huck grumbled; he also had a smile. “Just go make out in a stall already and spare me the tension.”

“Oh hush up,” you and Lorraine said in unison.

“As if you and Beau aren’t makin’ kissy faces at each other all the time,” Lorraine continued.

“You have no idea,” you said, loving the light in her eyes when she looked at you. “You should see ‘em when we go out to eat, you’d think I was nothin’ more than last week’s sermon.”

“Laugh it up,” Huck said with a nod as he looked out at the corral. You hadn’t paid attention to the event and noticed it was finally coming to an end. About time, you thought with a smile. “Once you two get some alone time then we’ll talk.”

“We can handle ourselves much better than you two,” you said quickly, the timer going off immediately after and making you jump. Lorraine’s hand on your arm helped you settle rather quickly.

Huck opened his mouth to say something else but was soon distracted by something in the corral. You and Lorraine shared a smile when you noticed Beau was on his way over. Tease as much as you did, they were rather adorable. It was a genuine love and admiration, one that you didn’t even see in your own parents, one that you wished you could have a little more easily.

“Hey, Rainey,” Beau said as he jumped onto the fence and planted a sloppy kiss on Lorraine’s cheek. “Nice to see you unshackled for once.”

“Is this all y’all ever talk about?” Lorraine asked.

All three of you looked at each other before giving a few nods. “Yeah.”

“I changed my mind,” she said with a nod to herself, “you’re all goin’ to hell.”

“You love us,” Beau said with a grin and another kiss to her forehead. She tried to push him away halfheartedly before leaning into his touch. “What were y’all talkin’ about before I came over?”

“These fine ladies think they can keep their hands to themselves better than we can,” Huck said with a raised brow.

“That so?” Beau asked.

“God’s truth,” you said with as much attitude as you could muster. Around you, the rodeo fell into controlled chaos as everyone started setting up for tomorrow’s events.

“Then how about we have ourselves a little wager,” Beau said as he locked eyes with you.

“Lay it on me, stud,” you shot back.

“If you beautiful ladies give in first, you,” he pointed at you, “have to go watch Lorraine film her next film.”

“Wait, hang on-”

“-and if you lose?” Lorraine asked, interrupting you quickly. The competitiveness was building behind her eyes, you could see it.

“We’ll go with Lorraine,” Beau said, “and we’ll even film a scene.”

“Hold up, baby-”

“-you’re on,” Lorraine interrupted Huck. She reached her hand out to shake Beau’s. “Y’all are gonna look so pretty on camera.”

“I don’t like this game anymore,” you said, looking at each of them hoping to see mercy in someone’s eyes.

“Me either,” Huck whispered.

You both looked at each other and sighed softly. What had the two of you done to fall for such competitive people? And how come Lorraine was the only one in this situation who had nothing to lose? You were starting to get the sneaking suspicion that they all just wanted to watch you squirm.

It was going to be a very long night.

—---

“Hey Huck?” You said when you brought the next round of beers over to the small table the four of you had commandeered.

“Yeah?”

“I think I’m in love,” you said with a sigh as you both looked out at the dancefloor where Lorraine and Beau were two-stepping like it was their last night on earth.

“You and me both,” he said with his own dreamy sigh.

The music from the local band was loud, almost painfully so, but you didn’t entirely care. Not when you were warm from the alcohol and laughter echoing through the barn. RJ had once called the run-down bar a death trap, and you couldn’t disagree with him. The wooden roof and walls had holes that no one cared to fix up and dust constantly fell from the rafters. But it was home to most of you, a place where everyone could get away and have some fun on a Saturday night.

Hell, it was where you had first kissed Lorraine. Your eyes trailed up to look at the dilapidated loft. If you focused, you could see the exact spot where Lorraine had made the move, pushing you against the termite-eaten wall and kissed you as if she wouldn’t get another chance. Lucky for you both, you got plenty more chances.

Laughter from a very specific person brought you out of your memories, and you looked back at the dancefloor to see Beau twirling Lorraine around. Her face was lit up with a big, toothy, open mouthed smile that you couldn’t recall seeing since the accident. For once, she looked like she didn’t care when she twirled and exposed her scars. Like she was just that normal, carefree girl you had fallen in love with all those years ago.

“I think I wanna marry him,” Huck said softly.

“You and me both,” you repeated what he said earlier as you decided to chug the rest of your beer.

Don’t let anyone hear, your inner voice reminded you. Lest you get lynched. Right. Right, that was entirely a possibility. You looked around quickly, fully aware that no one would have heard Huck but still feeling that paranoia wash over you. Suddenly the beer and the atmosphere didn’t feel so homey.

“You look like someone spit in your cup,” Beau said, the sudden sound of his voice making you jump. “You alright?”

“Peachy,” you said with a smile, quickly finding Lorraine finding her seat beside you. “Just thinkin’, is all.”

“‘Bout what?” Lorraine asked as she grabbed the beer that was probably starting to turn warm. The snarl of her lips after that first sip confirmed it.

“How you better finish that beer whether it’s warm or not,” you said with a raised brow. “Paid good money for it.”

“You mean you didn’t flash a little smile and get ‘em for free?” Beau asked as he too took a sip of his now warm beer. He at least managed to play it off a little better than Lorraine.

“Most certainly not,” you said with a shake of your head. “I’ve gotta preach to most of these people in the mornin’, can’t have ‘em givin’ me free beer.”

“Wow,” Lorraine said with a quiet exhale as she leaned forward on the table, resting her chin in her hand. “Your life must be so tough.”

“It is,” you played along. “No good deed goes unpunished.”

“That in the Bible?” Huck asked.

“Not quite,” you said. “You’d know that if you went to church like you were s’posed to.”

“I fear I’d catch fire the second I stepped foot in that chapel,” he said with a laugh.

You’ll all catch fire.

Right.

You all continued talking, no longer interested in dancing as the music continued to drown out your conversations. Lorraine managed to scoot her stool a bit closer until her thigh was pressed against yours, and you very nearly rested your hand on her inner thigh. A cleared throat and a look from Huck was all it took to remind you of where you were, and you quickly placed your hand back in your own lap.

By the time you all started to get tired, most of the people had already gone home. The band was packing up and the makeshift bartender was officially out of alcohol. No doubt everyone would be ready to resume the hoedown tomorrow night after the rodeo finals, but for the night, everyone was done. The four of you followed suit, sending your goodnights to the few remaining stragglers as you all piled into Huck’s truck.

“Which home?” He asked; the most sober of you all, bless his little heart.

“We could all go back to mine,” you said as you leaned forward between the two front seats. “We’ve got the two lofts in the barn.”

“That work with y’all?” Huck asked, looking at Beau and Lorraine. They both nodded their agreement. “Then buckle up.”

You sat back in your seat and immediately felt Lorraine lay her head on your shoulder. If the amount of drinks she had gone through were any indication, she was properly buzzed. The warmth of her hand resting on your thigh, scratching lightly, was another perfect indication.

“Hands to yourself,” Beau said as you met his eyes in the rearview mirror. “I’d hate for you to lose the bet.”

“You still goin’ on about that?” Huck asked.

“You said we couldn’t fuck,” Lorraine said with a sleepy voice, “not that we couldn’t touch.”

“Language,” you scolded her lightly. She didn’t even seem fazed in the slightest.

“I’m watchin’ you,” Beau said even as he closed his eyes. “Bunch ‘a cheaters.”

“Did I tell you how unfair this bet is?” You asked before lifting your hand to scratch at Lorraine’s scalp. She practically purred under your touch.

“It’s plenty fair,” Beau said without looking back.

“All three of y’all can get indecent whenever you want,” you said, “I can’t.”

“We can fix that,” Lorraine mumbled.

“Hush and go to sleep,” you whispered before pressing a quick kiss to her head and sitting back up. “It ain’t fair.”

“She’s got a point, baby,” Huck said with a small shake of his head. “We got her at a disadvantage.”

“Shoulda thought about that before you let your girl agree to the bet,” Beau said anyway. “You can always admit defeat.”

“Go to hell, Beauregard,” you mumbled, to which both men up front laughed like hyenas.

Lorraine was thoroughly asleep by the time you all pulled up to the barn. Thankfully it was far enough away from the house that your arrival wouldn’t wake anyone up. The only potential issue would be if Roy was sleeping in the barn, but he had started hiding away in the shed a few hundred yards away, so you weren’t too worried. If anything, you would just let the boys sleep in the barn while you took Lorraine inside to your room.

“Come on, baby,” you whispered into Lorraine’s ear accompanied by a slight shake of her shoulders.

She grumbled once, not even saying any words, but slowly sat up. Her eyes were barely open and her hair was mused just enough to make her look like a little kid again. It reminded you of all your sleepovers, all those nights before you had realised your feelings for her. The good ole days.

You helped ease her out of the back of the truck. Without any hesitation, you turned slightly and squatted down until she wrapped her arms around your neck and you stood back up. Even though she was nearly asleep again, you couldn’t help but think of how light she was on your back. Sometimes you forgot just how small she was, how fragile she could be.

“You two on the right?” Huck asked as he guided his own partner around; it seemed Beau had drunk a bit too much too.

“Yeah,” you said with a nod, “y’all’s stuff should still be up on the left.”

“Sounds good,” he said. “Y’all get some sleep.”

“Night Huck,” you said with a smile before making the way up to the loft that you had claimed as yours as soon as it had been built.

It was a nice little spot, you wouldn’t try to hide it. There weren’t any real walls, but you had hung some curtains around the perimeter to create a sense of privacy. Tucked into the far corner was a single bed, something more reminisce of an army cot than anything else, with only an excess of blankets and a pillow on top. A few records scattered around, an old record player, and your grandpappy’s old guitar were the only remaining decorations.

You were gentle when you placed Lorraine on the cot, being careful as she slid off and laid on her side. She looked peaceful, with her hair no longer hiding her face. When would she believe you when you told her she was the most beautiful girl in the world? Would she ever believe you? If not then you needed to make sure RJ told her, because she deserved to feel loved again.

“Come here,” Lorraine said in a sleepy voice, pulling you out of your own head. Her arms were lifted as she made grabby hands at you, and how could you possibly say no to that?

With practiced ease, you toed your boots off and left them at the foot of the bed before climbing in. You were still in jeans and your button up but that was alright. There was no way you were going to be able to get Lorraine into pyjamas, so you would sleep in your clothes as well in solidarity.

“I’ve missed you,” she said softly, immediately pulling you close until she could press her lips to your neck.

“I missed you too,” you said as you tilted your head back to give her a little more access.

“A lot,” she continued. With a bit of shuffling she finally settled again, and you felt the warmth of her hand sliding under your shirt to rest on your stomach.

“Raine, baby,” you said when her hand continued to move up to play with the strap of your bra, “I ain’t losin’ this bet.”

“Sure you are,” she said.

“I don’t care what you film,” you started even as she pushed you onto your back and rolled on top of you, “but I’m not too keen on watchin’.”

“How will they know?” Her lips started trailing up your neck, leaving an inferno behind with each kiss. “They won’t be comin’ with us.”

“Raine.”

But you couldn’t really argue when her hand finally slipped under your bra, just the mere feel of her skin on your breast enough to have you exhaling harshly. Paired with the warmth of her lips on your jaw? Clearly it had been far too long because you were almost ready to come undone right then and there.

“Lose the bet,” she whispered into your ear. You let out a shaky exhale when her thumb brushed lightly against your nipple. “For me?”

Well now, how could you say no to that? Without any ounce of care, you grabbed Lorraine’s face and pulled her to your lips. She tasted of cheap beer and tequila and you didn’t care. Her lips were soft and you could feel her breath tickling your face and you just wanted more of her.

In the privacy of the loft you had no shame in the both of you stripping. She was still buzzed and was fumbling around like a horny teenager, but you supposed you were too in the excitement. You weren’t even helping each other, you were too eager to rid yourselves of the confines of clothing. At one point Lorraine nearly fell off the bed in an attempt to get her pants off, and you both had to sit and recover from the laughter you couldn’t be bothered to contain.

She was still giggling by the time she crawled back on top of you, her skin blazing hot against your own. God, you couldn’t remember the last time you had not only had the time, but the privacy to see all of her again. She sat straddling you and even though you hadn’t done anything yet, you could feel her arousal coating your stomach.

Her hands fell right below your breasts, grabbing you by the ribs to steady herself. It was clear that she was still intoxicated enough to be a little clumsy, but very much sober enough to know what she was doing. Although you certainly weren’t going to take the initiative, more than happy to let her take the lead with whatever she was comfortable with.

You rested your hands on her hips and looked at her while her eyes were closed. The summer had done her skin well, leaving her a good deal darker than she had been only a few months ago. Even the scars across her neck and face were a bit darker, not quite so startling in contrast to the rest of her. Even her freckles had become more apparent, and you wished you had a night to just count each and every one of them.

“You’re starin’,” Lorraine said above you, her eyes finally open as she looked down at you. “Why?”

“I just think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life,” you whispered.

Even in the dark you could see the slight flush on her cheeks. She let her head fall until her hair covered her face. You sat up quickly, keeping your hands on her hips so she wouldn’t fall. Her legs wrapped around your waist as you let her readjust and you could feel her breath on your face once again.

“If you really thought that,” she started as she let her hands trail up the sides of your breasts and over your chest until they rested on either side of your neck, “then you would lose this bet for me.”

“You just wanna watch me squirm,” you said. She leaned closer until her chest was pressed lightly against yours.

“Yes I do,” she mumbled against your lips before kissing you once again.

Her grip on your neck tightened as she tried to pull you closer. You gasped when she nipped your bottom lip, sighing quickly after when you felt her tongue sooth it immediately after. God, what she could do to you with only the simplest of touches. The slightest scratch of her nails on the back of your neck sent a shiver down your spine.

You gave up on letting her take control the moment you felt her attempt to grind on you. There hadn’t been near enough teasing, but you could already feel how wet she was without even touching her. Not that you were complaining of course, you wanted nothing more than to show her how much you had missed her, how beautiful you really thought she was.

One of your thumbs rubbed circles on her hip while the other hand ran across her stomach and stopped on her pubic bone. She tried to grind again, whining into your mouth when she was met with nothing but air. Your thumb rubbing across her skin, almost touching her clit but not quite.

“Baby,” she whined.

“You gotta be quiet, sweetheart,” you whispered against her lips. “Can you do that for me?”

She nodded quickly, her hips moving just enough to catch your attention.

“I’ll stop if you’re too loud,” you continued even as you let your thumb fall a little lower. “Understand?”

“Yes,” she said.

That time when she moved her hips she was met with your thumb, and her breathy little moan sounded beautiful as her head fell to your shoulder. Oh she was so sensitive, and you hadn’t even properly touched her yet. Blame it on the alcohol, or RJ’s lack of ability, or both, but you wouldn’t complain. A needy Lorraine was a fun Lorraine.

“Touch me already,” Lorraine whined.

“So impatient,” you said as you leaned forward and pressed your lips to that space right below her ear. The one that always had her squirming whether it was intentional or not.

“You can love me later,” she continued. “Just fuck me.”

“That what you really want?” You asked, but she was already nodding her head against your shoulder before you finished the question. “Whatever you want, princess.”

Lorraine was so wet you didn’t even have to worry as you slid two fingers into her effortlessly. She bit your shoulder to keep herself quiet like the good girl she was. It took everything in you not to moan at how tight she was around you. No matter how many times you had her, it always caught you off guard in the best of ways.

“I ain’t losin’ for nothin’, sweetheart,” you said into Lorraine’s ear. “I wanna watch you make it up to me.”

“You’re an asshole,” she mumbled, yet it didn’t stop her from riding your fingers nice and slow. “That’s it, baby.”

She growled in frustration before sitting up again, placing her hands on your shoulders to use as leverage. You let her work herself up, refusing to move even a muscle to help her. If you were going to lose the bet, you were going to milk everything you could out of her as payback.

The rise and fall of her chest as she crawled to the edge was hypnotising. You knew she couldn’t get there quickly, let alone on her own, but you wanted to enjoy the view. The way she fucked herself on your fingers and let her mouth fall open when she angled her hips just right.

But when Lorraine’s head fell forward to rest against yours, you took mercy. Even at the extremely awkward angle that would leave your wrist sore in the morning, you thrust your fingers up to meet her, smiling to yourself at the guttural moan that left her mouth. Your free hand left her hip and moved around so you could rub her clit, her noises rising in pitch at the added sensation.

“Baby,” she exhaled. It almost sounded whiney, which meant she was close. She was oh so close.

“Let go, Rainey,” you said.

Even with her face so close to yours, you could still see the look on her face when she came. The silent scream, the way her eyes squeezed shut. It was a beautiful look that you didn’t think you would ever get tired of. Her nails dug into your shoulders and you could feel the intoxicating sting as they broke skin; you would need to be careful with your shirts for the next few days.

Her hips continued to stutter against your hands, erratic movements that you would have teased her for if you hadn’t been so entranced by her very being. You waited until her hips stilled before removing your fingers, making sure to be slow and gentle so as not to startle her. But then you pulled her closer again, feeling her arms wrap around your neck as you held her in your lap.

“There’s my good girl,” you whispered into her ear before kissing her temple. “You did so good.”

“I-”

-You both stopped talking quickly when you heard something. Something that sounded disgustingly familiar. Lorraine sat up in your lap and cocked her head to the side, listening intently. Maybe you had imagined it, surely it hadn’t been real. Right? There was no way.

Then you heard it again.

“Oh my god,” Lorraine groaned; you saw her smile before her head hit your shoulder again.

“Should I say something?” You asked. She opened her mouth to answer but was interrupted yet again.

“Don’t embarrass me,” she said.

“Never,” you whispered and kissed her head before shifting around. You placed your hands over both of her ears. “The Lord’s watchin’ y’all!”

“Fuck off, hypocrit,” Huck called back. His voice echoed off the walls of the barn. “Y’all ain’t so quiet either.”

“Sorry, can’t hear you.” Lorraine’s body shook above you with silent laughter. “I’m tryin’ to sleep like the Godly woman I am.”

“Shut the hell up,” Beau finally cut in, “you’re killin’ the mood.”

“Good night, heathens!” You called back. “Don’t wake the Devil.”

You and Lorraine both stifled your laughter as you laid back down in the cot. It was difficult to keep yourselves quiet. She shushed you and listened, but neither one of you could hear anything else.

“Either they’re more quiet, or you ruined their night,” Lorraine whispered.

“Hope I ruined it,” you grumbled. “If I have to lose, so do they.”

“And you call me competitive,” she said in her sleepy voice.

“You are,” you said with another kiss to her head. “It’s one of the things I love about you.”

“You just love me.” Her voice got softer with each word.

“Yeah I do,” you said just as softly.

She didn’t say another word, falling asleep quickly thanks to the alcohol and orgasm. Her arm stayed draped around your bare waist as you held her closer, feeling her skin sticking to yours with the mix of sweat. Your father’s voice condemned you in your head, doing its best to ruin the feeling of peace and security you felt with Lorraine in your arms.

But in that moment, you simply closed your eyes and held her tighter. You were going to enjoy every moment with her until the day you died. Heaven could keep its angels; you would keep yours.

#lorraine day x reader #lorraine day #lorraine day smut #jenna ortega x reader

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severalforraelee · 7 months

Text

The Girls Part 14: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Photo credit to Team Scuderia Ferrari

Word count: 4,410

Written by raelee / Posted Oct 10

Masterlist

Formula 1 Masterlist

The Girls Masterlist

“I heard you were in Monaco and didn’t come see me,” Lando accuses as soon as I answer his FaceTime call.

“You were already in Mexico,” I answer defensively.

“Yeah, but asking me would’ve still been nice.”

“Why would I ask if I already knew that you weren’t there?” I question.

He opens his mouth to respond but stops, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. I watch his eyes flicker on the screen, and as I’m about to ask him about the sudden movement, he answers my unasked question.

“Where are you right now?”

“Oh, uh,” I laugh nervously, causing Lando to squint at me. “I’m actually in my new flat.”

“Your new flat?” Lando raises his eyebrows at me.

“Yeah, Charles and I actually moved in together.” I wince, waiting for the earful that I’m about to receive.

If Lando doesn’t like Charles even staying at my flat, he’s going to hate that we live together now. Even if I told him that Charles is gone half of the year and we stay in different bedrooms he still wouldn’t be happy about it.

Lando opens his mouth, about to speak again, when his doorbell suddenly rings. I thank whatever God is listening in on our conversation for that.

“Hold on,” he tells me like I have another option, heading towards his door so that I’m left staring at his ceiling. I hear muffled voices before he returns.

“Who was that?” I ask, hoping that the question will distract him from our previous topic.

“The delivery man,” he answers.

“Oh, what’d you get?”

“It’s not for me.”

I give him a questioning look at the response.

“They’re birthday presents for Ada and Lucy.”

Ada and Lucy's second birthday is coming up. They’re so excited to have a day that’s just dedicated to celebrating them. They’re especially looking forward to being able to eat cake and junk food all day, and open presents.

Unfortunately, it also falls on the day of the grand prix in Brazil. So Lando and Charles, two of their favorite people, won’t be able to celebrate their birthday with them on their actual birthday.

It’s going to be extremely difficult to explain to the girls why we’re celebrating, but why we’re not celebrating with the ones that they love.

“You didn’t have to buy them anything, Lando,” I insist.

“They’re my nieces, they’re going to get spoiled.”

“Well, thank you. We appreciate it. Were you going to come to London soon to celebrate with us?” I question.

It’s at a weird point in the season right now. There’s only a few races left until the season ends and winter break starts, so the atmosphere is weird. There’s a lot of testing and media duties for the drivers to do, so they’re at one of their busiest points, but everyone is ready for the season to just be done so they can get a little break.

“Well I was actually thinking that I could give them the presents in Brazil.”

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. “Like… you give them to Charles and Charles gives them to Ada and Lucy?”

“No, like you, Ada, and Lucy come to Brazil to watch the grand prix and McClaren will throw a birthday party for them, and I can give them their gifts then,” he suggests.

“Oh,” I’m taken by surprise. It’s honestly something that I hadn’t considered. “Lando, the grand prix is in like two weeks, that’s very short notice.”

“Yeah, but you already said that you don’t have classes on Fridays. And I think you said you work every other Friday and if I did my math correctly, you would have off that Friday,” he explains.

“I have a class on Monday in the afternoon, so if we flew back Sunday night or Monday morning I would still be able to make it…” I shake my head.

I can’t believe I’m considering this.

Going to a grand prix would bring the opposite of what I want for the girls. It would draw attention to them, especially if McClaren hosts a birthday party for them. After all of the drama on social media and people spotting us as a family of four out in public and posting about it, it makes me worried to go to Lando and Charles’ home away from home.

But… the girls have been showing more and more interest while watching the races lately. And I would love for them to be at a race to see their father and their uncle in their element. Plus meeting the people that Charles and Lando surround themselves with the majority of the weekend would be nice.

“I’ll have to think about it, Lando,” I sigh. “It just might be too hard and too soon after going to Monaco.”

“I get it, you don’t want to see your brother,” he jokes.

I roll my eyes. “Oh no, you caught me.”

“Let me know what you decide, alright? I can fly back and help you fly out with the girls, and I can pay for your flights and hotels and everything,” he offers.

I take a deep breath, gearing up to tell him that he doesn’t need to worry about that and I could figure it out myself. Then, I stop. “Okay, Lando.”

“You know what would be great?” Charles asks.

“What?” My eyes shift from the textbook in front of me to my laptop screen that has the problem pulled up, working through it in my head while also trying to carry a conversation with Charles.

“If you came to the Brazil grand prix with Ada and Lucy so that we could celebrate their birthday as a family.”

My head snaps towards where he’s set up on a FaceTime call on my phone leaned up against my water bottle.

“What?” I repeat my earlier question, although this time with surprise. My heart flutters when I catch that he referred to the four of us as a family. I know that I do it, but it’s nice to know that he does it too.

“Yeah, you know. We could celebrate their second birthday on their actual birthday, they could have a little party at Ferrari,” he suggests. “It’d be fun.”

“Have-”I pause at the question that I’m about to ask, already not believing the words that are about to leave my mouth, but Charles urges me on. “Have you been talking to my brother at all?”

“What? Why would you ask that?”

He’s a terrible actor.

“Because he said the exact same thing,” I deadpan.

“Great minds think alike.”

I sigh. “I’ll tell you the same thing that I told him. I’ll think about it.”

“If you’re worried about traveling with Ada and Lucy, I can fly back and fly out to Brazil with you three,” he offers.

“God, you really did talk to Lando,” I murmur. “You know what? Fine. If you and Lando can come out and help me fly out to Brazil with two toddlers and all of our luggage, we can spend their birthday at the grand prix in Brazil. I’m sure they would love that.”

“You’re not going to regret it, mon amour,” he grins enthusiastically. “I’m going to call Lando now to figure out all of the details.”

“Okay, have-”The phone call ends before I can finish my sentence. “Fun.”

I roll my eyes at the clear excitement on Charles’ face, but can’t hide the smile that’s growing on my lips.

“Lando, can you grab a bag, please?”

It’s like deja vu, except this time Lando is the one holding Ada and Lucy’s hands while I walk alongside Charles who struggles with the bags once again.

“No, I’m escorting Ada and Lucy right now,” Lando denies. Charles gives him a look of disbelief. “Uncle privileges.”

“Charles, just let me grab-””Not you, mon amour,” he declines, heaving a bag higher onto his shoulder.

I roll my eyes at his stubbornness but don’t persist any further.

I’m just surprised that I’m in the airport for the second time this month, jetting off on yet another international trip. I’m shocked that I’m doing this at this point in my life, nonetheless with two toddlers by my side.

Of course I have help from Lando and Charles (although, is Lando really help?) but after trying so hard to keep my daughters out of the public eye, taking them to a place where people from all walks of life attend is crazy to me. I can’t help but feel weirdly proud of myself for how far I’ve come.

“Are you okay?” Lando’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts. I return his gaze. “You just kind of zoned out there.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I smile at him and he smiles back.

And they’re genuine smiles. I really am fine.

Charles gets us in on Friday without having to deal with any of the media. I’m secretly relieved- as much as I’ve tried to reassure him that I don’t mind the media and fans, we’ll just have to hide the girls’ faces as best as we can, he’s taking all precautions to protect their privacy as best as we can.

“What are my nieces wearing?” A voice snaps me out of my quiet bickering with a whining Ada.

“Shirts and jeans,” I answer, picking her up and into my arms.

“Ferrari shirts,” Charles smirks at Lando.

“Ugh,” Lando wrinkles his nose in disgust. “That won’t do.” He glares at Ada’s gray Ferrari T-shirt and Lucy’s red one. “I’ll find something else for you.”

He disappears before Charles and I can say anything else.

I roll my eyes, a point for Charles not to comment on it, before we make our way into the Ferrari garage.

“Y/N!” I’m pulled into a pair of arms as soon as I enter. I don’t recognize the arms- he’s gotten much more muscular over time- but I do recognize the cologne.

He still needs to use less of it.

“Oh, Carlos,” I wrap my free arm around him.

When I was Lando’s assistant and Carlos still drove at McClaren, we became close because of their close friendship. I didn’t tag along on all of their outings, I hate golf, but we would go out to dinner and for walks together.

We became close fast.

And it was difficult when I had to end that friendship.

I pull back, wiping at the light tears in my eyes at the sudden rush of emotions hitting me. Luckily, Carlos doesn’t comment on it, leaning in closer to brush his thumb against the little girl in my arm’s cheek.

“And this must be Ada, I see you in all of your mother’s stories.”

“Is everyone on your private story’s list but me?” Charles whines.

“Step it up, Charles,” Carlos grins at his teammate, brushing a strand of Lucy’s hair behind her ear. Her cheeks blush as she stares at him.

“Oh no, no boys,” Charles scolds gently, turning away so that Lucy could no longer face Carlos.

To my surprise, Ada’s staring back at Carlos. Not in a bashful way like her sister, but in a curious way.

“I heard it’s your birthday,” Carlos says to Ada and Lucy.

“On Sunday they turn two,” I explain.

“Well I got you birthday presents that you need to open today.” He grabs two nearby bags.

“Carlos, they don't need anything. Especially not today, it’s not their birthday yet,” Charles tells his teammate.

“They’re opening them anyway.”

Carlos’ tone leaves no room for argument and the girls have already focused on the bags, so Carlos hands them over to open.

They’re toddler sized Ferrari hats, but on the brim there’s a 55 and they’re both signed by Carlos.

“Really? You signed it too?” Charles looks unimpressed. I can’t help but laugh, which earns a grin for Carlos and a glare from Charles.

“They could make a nice buck off of it one day.”

I try to subtly walk through the paddock back to the Ferrari garage to meet Charles after showing the girls the cars on the track for qualifying, but it’s not easy with a tired toddler on each hip while trying to look out for any phones recording or taking pictures of us.

An arm suddenly pushes on my back, guiding me towards a different garage.

“These are my nieces,” Lando’s familiar voice announces proudly to the group of mechanics and engineers.

“Ew, Lando, get your arm off of me, you’re all sweaty,” I whine.

He rolls his eyes but removes his arm, reaching out to forcibly take the exhausted girls from my arms into his.

“No, you must be tired from the race, I can hold them,” I reassure them.

“Let me spend time with my girls,” he disagrees.

“And who might you be?” One of the mechanics raises an eyebrow at me flirtatiously.

Before I can handle it (in other words, embarrass myself) Lando speaks up, glaring at the mechanic. “She’s my sister.”

One of the other mechanics nudges the guy and mumbles something. All I can manage to hear is ‘Leclerc.’

Speak of the devil and he may appear.

“What are you doing here?” Charles asks in confusion, resting a hand on my waist gently and stepping around me to wave at his daughters.

“Lando pulled me in here,” I explain.

“Did you come to spy on the enemy, Leclerc?” A man I’ve only seen in photos approaches. Well, he’s really just a boy.

“Oscar Piastri,” my face lights up at the sight of him and I step forward to shake his hand. “It’s so great to finally meet you. You know, I loved your overtake in F2 in Bahrain-””Now hold on,” Lando interrupts me. “Are you telling me that my sister is actually an Oscar Piastri fan?”

“Yes, I really am,” I admit, watching as Charles wrestles Ada out of Lando’s arms.

“I can’t believe this, my own sister likes my teammate more than she likes me,” my brother says in mock disbelief.

“Why wouldn’t she? I’m the one decorating the cake for her daughters’ birthday party on Sunday,” Oscar grins smugly.

“Birthday party? On Sunday? Here?” Charles repeats parts of the sentence, raising his eyebrows.

“Yes, that’s what he just said. Do you need your ears checked or something?” Lando questions jokingly.

“You can’t have a birthday party for the girls here on Sunday. We’re having a birthday party for them in the Ferrari motorhome,” Charles says.

“Well I’m their uncle that they rarely see, so they really should be spending more time here with me, and that includes having their birthday party here,” Lando responds.

“And I’m their dad, so they should have their birthday party in a familiar environment. And that’s surrounded by red,” Charles narrows his eyes at his competitor.

As if they both suddenly remember that I’m there, they turn to look at me with expectant gazes. As soon as I recognize the expressions, I laugh.

“Oh hell no, you’re not dragging me into this. Figure it out yourselves.”

They turn back to each other in defeat, narrowing their eyes at each other once again. This is going to be a long weekend.

“Oh my god,” I gape at the screen, hugging the girls tight to me as Charles crosses the line for a second place finish. “Dad came in second place, girls.”

The girls, despite not knowing what I’m saying, clap their hands in excitement, causing the engineers and mechanics around me to laugh.

“Are you going to the podium?” One of them asks.

“Oh, I don’t know,” I frown, fighting myself internally.

On one hand, it would be a great opportunity to remind Charles that I care about his career and success. Having his daughters at a race with him to watch him for the first time and then to get a podium, I know he’d be a little disappointed if we weren’t to go to the podium celebrations.

But on the other hand, I’m still worried about Ada and Lucy’s privacy. I know that pictures of their faces are already out there, but I want to do all that I can to prevent more of them from getting out. I want them to be able to have that privacy to decide what they want to do in the future instead of always being known as Charles Leclerc’s daughters. And a grand prix with cameras and strangers everywhere… they’re bound to constantly be on camera, especially with the controversy surrounding their existence and sudden appearance.

“Are you worried about their faces being seen?” Another mechanic asks. “Because I have a solution.”

I give him a curious look and he grabs two nearby helmets used for decoration, putting them over the girls heads. They squeal in excitement and I laugh.

“That’s genius.”

Together we make our way to the podium, crowding together behind the fence for Charles, Max, and Sergio to drive up. Everyone around me is polite, making sure to leave me plenty of room with a toddler on each hip.

When Charles pulls up and sees us, an expression that I’ve never seen before appears on his face. It lights up and it’s full of adoration, and he practically runs over to us.

He rips his helmet off, throwing it haphazardly on the ground behind him before leaning forward, lifting the visor of Ada’s helmet and placing a kiss on her nose. He does the same to Lucy and I smile at the gesture, expecting him to move on to the guys beside me to celebrate with them.

To my surprise, he pulls me into a hug, Ada and Lucy squished between us.

“Happy for you,” I confess to him, choking back the sobs that want to escape. He gives me a soft smile, able to tell that I’m seconds away from crying.

Thankfully he moves on to the guys before I start bawling my eyes out. I don’t know why I feel like crying. Maybe because this feels so… natural. Being at grand prixs again, surrounded by all of the drivers and mechanics and engineers. Taking my daughters to grand prixs, showing them the world that their uncle and dad were raised in and now are dominating.

Maybe it’s the pride that I feel for Charles, who’s having such a great season.

When Charles is up on the podium, I do let a tear slip.

“Good, I was just looking for you. They’re setting up the birthday party at the McClaren motorhome right now,” Lando catches up to the four of us as we walk back to the Ferrari motorhome.

“Lando, the Ferrari motorhome is already getting their birthday party ready,” Charles informs him slowly.

“Well, I already told you that McClaren’s going to host their birthday party.”

“And I already told you that Ferrari’s going to host their birthday party.”

Once again, the two stare each other down.

God I’m really getting sick of this.

“Guys, I have something to show you,” Alex suddenly appears, breaking the tension.

“Oh thank god,” I mumble, following behind him as he begins to make his way down the paddock.

“Is it in the Williams motorhome? That’s such a far walk,” Lando whines. I hear a thump, then another thump as Lando hits Charles back.

Alex holds the door open for us and Ada and Lucy enter ahead of everyone else. All of the sudden, a bunch of people jump out from behind the furniture in the room, shouting “Surprise!” and blowing party blowers.

Ada looks around shyly, clinging to my leg, while Lucy takes a step forward with a wide grin, loving the attention. There’s people from all the teams here, from employees in the communication departments to mechanics, engineers, and drivers.

I recognize a lot of the faces even years later, but there’s some new ones as well.

“Thank you for this,” I murmur to Alex as Lance Stroll and Esteban Ocon manage to pry Ada off my leg to dance and Lucy watches in a trance as Fernando Alonso and Sergio Perez engage in a conversion in Spanish.

“Of course,” he grins at me, knowing how much easier it is to have this party at a neutral location. Not only to stop the fighting, but also to hopefully mend the relationship between Lando and Charles.

It’s only when Ada and Lucy blow out the candles on their cake that it hits me. I have two two year olds.

Of course I know that they’re not the small babies that I once cradled in my arms or fed bottles to, but it’s so much harder actually realizing it. They’ll never be as little as they are now.

And right now… they’re not even that little. Right now they’re holding their own forks, feeding themselves cake while trying to keep it off of themselves as best as they can. They’re real people with thoughts and emotions, and they no longer need me as much as they once did.

It makes my heart hurt.

I glance over at Charles, thinking of his reaction when we found out that I wasn’t pregnant. If anyone’s the father of my girls, I’m glad that it’s him. It makes me curious about my future children… what their dad will be like. If it’ll be Charles.

“Why is she staring at him like that?” Alex’s question snaps me out of my thoughts.

My cheeks blush, thinking that I’ve been caught, but once I follow his sightline I see Lucy staring at Carlos, batting her eyelashes at him.

“She’s trying to flirt with him,” I inform him.

“That’s flirting with him?” Esteban raises his eyebrows in disbelief. It’s literally just staring creepily at Carlos and blinking quickly. She needs to work on it.

“I wonder where she learned that from,” Lily giggles, nudging me.

“That’s a classic Y/N move,” Charles chimes in.

“What? No it’s not,” I deny, reaching over to push his shoulder teasingly.

“Please, do you not remember?”

“Remember what?”

He grins at me and it’s like we’re the only two people in the room. “Remember when we would lay in bed at night on a race weekend and you would bat those pretty little eyelashes at me, ‘Oh Charles, can you please go get me a chocolate bar from the vending machine?’”

“I never did that,” I exclaim.

“Yes you did, on multiple occasions. I’m surprised we were never caught with how often I would have to buy you damn chocolate bars,” he teases.

I laugh and he joins in softly.

Someone clearing their throat snaps us out of the moment and I suddenly remember there’s people around us.

“Um, let’s move on to presents,” I announce awkwardly.

Ada and Lucy get so much stuff. Esteban gets them a book on how to learn French- I guess he doesn't know much about two year olds, Pierre gets them mini purses from Louis Vuitton, Lando had two toddler sized play cars sent to our new apartment but gives the girls practically the whole Barbie aisle for the party, and Max gets them a baby shark toy (something about how good the song is).

Slowly, everyone begins to leave, and Lando and George keep the girls entertained while Charles and I begin to clean up.

“Well I’d say the party was a success,” I say to Charles, bending down to pick wrapping paper off of the ground.

“Yeah, Albon did a great job hosting. Ada and Lucy had a lot of fun,” he glances over to where they’re playing with their new toys.

“So did the drivers,” I chuckle.

I begin to rise at an angle, hands full of wrapping paper as Charles bends down at an angle to grab some more wrapping paper. I turn my head at the same time he ducks his down, his lips landing on my own.

We kiss for a split second, lips moving against each other in sync before I remember where we are and pull away with a quiet gasp.

My eyes look over at the group of four, seeing them still playing. They didn’t notice the accidental kiss at all.

The damage is done as I look over at Charles, who’s staring back at me with wide eyes and an open mouth. I stare back with blushing cheeks.

“Are you guys almost done?” Lando calls out, breaking our staring competition.

“Yeah, just a little bit longer,” I agree, not breaking the gaze with Charles.

We don't have the chance to talk about it.

As soon as we get back to the hotel, both girls are sent into meltdowns from the sugar high and a long, exhausting day. Then, since they’re both throwing a fit, once one begins to calm down the other one begins to overreact which sends the other one into a fit again.

Finally Charles and I manage to bathe them, change them into their pajamas, and get them to bed.

If I’m exhausted, I don’t know how Charles feels.

I can feel his eyes on me as I anxiously fold one of Lucy’s dirty shirts.

I look up, meeting those hazel eyes that I’ve become so accustomed to seeing. Now I don’t know what I would do without them.

“So…” I start awkwardly.

He just looks so good like this. Hair messy from a long day, in just a casual T-shirt and gym shorts. It’s his dad look. The dim light from the hotel lamp casts a warm glow on him, making me want to just reach over and pull him into my arms.

Before I can even react, he takes two steps forward, hands gently placed on my biceps as he turns me towards him. He leans down and my hands reach up to grab the back of his biceps as our lips meet.

It’s an anticipated kiss, and god, was it worth the wait.

His lips are warm and comforting, like pulling on a sweatshirt straight out of the dryer. Like it’s meant to be, and although you know it can’t last forever, you’ll savor it while it’s happening.

His hands slide down to my waist and my arms wind around his neck, pulling him as close to me as I can.

It’s Ada and Lucy’s second birthday. And it’s also the day that Charles and I kissed twice- once on accident and once on purpose.

This may be one of the happiest days of my life.

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#formula 1 imagine #f1 imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #formula 1 driver imagine

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the-sage-libriomancer · 6 months

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Shigure's relationship with Kyo drives me crazy. he doesn't hate Kyo in the slightest - in fact, he pities Kyo, and not in the condescending "oh you poor little boy, cursed to be a horrible, disgusting monster" sort of way that everyone else does. Shigure pities Kyo for the reason he should be pitied: he's just a kid caught up in a system so inhumane it can't possibly be survived without some seriously unhealthy coping mechanisms.

and it drives me crazy because - listen, Shigure is the only zodiac member who's emotionally aware enough to see the other zodiac members as exactly what they are. he knows Yuki is a severely traumatized kid who projects all of his self-hatred on a single convenient target. he knows Akito is really a scared little girl with a raging god complex (literally) and no concept of a healthy relationship. and he knows Kyo is a regular-ass human being who doesn't deserve to be locked up for the rest of his life just because some arbitrary system says so. he KNOWS it's stupid. he KNOWS it's ridiculous and unfair. and he has to share a house with Kyo knowing that Kyo is living with a sword over his head, hating himself and hating others in perfect tandem because he has no other way of coping with the insane amounts of negativity he's had to deal with his entire life.

but the thing about Shigure is that he KNOWS all of this, and the same time he doesn't really CARE. he feels sorry for Kyo, but an apathetic sort of pity, a disinterested "this is how it is. such a shame." sort of pity. in some ways he's worse than the other zodiacs because he DOES see Kyo as a person, someone he likes being around even, but he still considers Kyo below his attention because all his focus is on Akito and breaking the curse. and sure, once the curse is broken Kyo will theoretically be set free with the rest of them, but that's more of a coincidental side effect than anything. despite being in a much more dangerous and precarious mental space AND comfortably in Shigure's reach, Kyo is about as much a priority for Shigure as Ritsu or Momiji.

and it drives me CRAZY because i think Shigure does start actively caring about Kyo as the series goes on, but it's hard to tell when that happens and to what extent. when Kazuma told Shigure he planned to reveal Kyo's true form and Shigure said he was going too far - whose sake was it for? was Shigure trying to protect Kyo, who would be hideously traumatized/emotionally scarred by such a cruel betrayal? was he trying to protect Kyo and Tohru's relationship, which was still formulating and might, under such severe testing, ultimately end up damaged beyond repair? was he only trying to protect Tohru, who wasn't ready to be burdened by such a horrible aspect of the curse so soon, or perhaps simply didn't deserve it? or was it all for the sake of himself, trying to protect his still-forming plans of using Tohru's positive effect on the Sohmas to break the curse?

Shigure cares about Kyo, but they're not close and Kyo clearly isn't a priority. he treats Kyo like a person - offering him genuine advice, teasing him like he teases anyone else, even speaking up on his behalf once or twice - and yet he's too entrenched in the long game to spare much active interest in Kyo. for a very long time, he doesn't care about Kyo the way he cares about Yuki or Tohru, and it's never made clear when exactly that changed. and the thing that gets me about this whole situation is that right from the start, Shigure is in a position where he can meet Kyo at his level - as equals, just one human being to another - but he doesn't, because Shigure is a chessmaster, Shigure is someone who observes and calculates, Shigure never steps in unless one of his chess pieces makes a wrong move and he absolutely has to.

it drives me crazy. Shigure drives me crazy. this series drives me so so crazy.

#i think my point here was “shigure sees kyo as an actual human being but still treats him badly”#which is kind of the point of shigure - it's why he's such a gray character #he plays with people's lives like they're toys #but this post actually originated from the realization that shigure doesn't hate kyo in the slightest #(honestly i don't think the majority of the zodiac actually *dislikes* kyo. i think they're just too used to dehumanizing him)#and i was like “okay. so how *does* shigure view kyo?”#and then i thought about it more and went progressively more insane #tbf i think shigure knew he was being immoral in the way he treated kyo #he's incredibly self-aware and knows exactly what he's doing #he just chooses to do it anyway. that's why he calls himself “despicable”#i think the fact that kyo clearly suspects shigure has something more going on under the surface probably didn't help either #it's a very interesting sort of complex #anyway. them #fruits basket #shigure sohma #kyo sohma #analysis #edited for your convenience #(<-capitalized all the names bc it was driving me up the wall)

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seullovesme · 2 months

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my daisy. » kang seulgi

pairing ⥬ kang seulgi x reader

genre ⥬ fluff (happy late valentines!)

summary ⥬ a girl with brightest smile gifted you a bouquet of assorted flowers for valentines day, bringing life to your world that was once dull and colorless

wc ⥬ 1.8k

'so, i'll just wait for you to bloom' - my daisy (w2e)

dread.

that was the name of the feeling that took over your body as you watched all the couples gathering in the hall, everyone in their own pair except for a handful of people. unfortunately, you were in that select few.

you hated valentines day. not because you hate the idea of love, but because out of all years of your life you never had a valentine. ever since you were a little kid, seeing your parents have a whole day where they showered each other in love like they were carefree made you want that for yourself.

but here you are, standing all alone, surrounded by people who weren't. tsk. it's not like you wanted a valentine anyways. the thought of pretty flowers or sweet chocolates in the shapes of heart, or cute letters that held the feelings of love and admiration, yuck! definitely not anything you desired.. not at all.

you push past the mingling bodies as you mutter curse words under your breath, annoyed by the smell of love in the air. you finally reach the door to your class, but you open it to reveal the class gathered in a circle. it intrigued you for a moment, until you realized who sat in that spot. kang seulgi, that silly girl.

god, how long have you had this crush on her and still haven't tested your luck? whatever, not like it mattered. kang seulgi was everybody's crush at this point, you were one of many. the bear was in the school dance team and she was classified as "hottest girl to roam the school grounds". curse her and her good genes. you didn't even like her for her looks.

you loved her kind soul and cute smile, and she really sealed her mark on your heart when she bought you a new folder with a teddy bear on it because these careless kids thought it was okay to rip your original one. she was one of a kind, but nowhere near your league. she didn't even really know you, you were just another student in her class, your only interactions surrounding school topics. it was whatever, you didn't care for love anymore.

when you peeked over, you spotted a bouquet in seulgi's hands, her eyes closed shut with a frown on her face. the people around her begging her to spill who the flowers were for, throwing out names as well. you felt anger rise in your chest at them clearly ignoring how bothered seulgi was. were they brainless? they should leave her alone.

you were going to walk up and give them a piece of your mind when a friend called your name. you were shocked by how loud she was, feeling embarrassed by all the eyes looking over. you walked towards her, but you were stopped by a hand.

the room went silent for a moment, the sound of whispers breaking it occasionally. you looked at the hand and trailed up their arm, all the way to their face. hm, they looked a lot like kang seulgi. wait.

kang seulgi?!

the girl held the bouquet and gave you a soft smile. "hi, y/n!"

"happy valentines day! i was going to ask you to be my valentine, but i was so scared you were going to reject me." she rubbed her nape nervously and directed her eyes to something off to the side. you just opened and closed your mouth like a fish out of water, trying to process this all while thinking of what to say.

your reaction frightens the sweet seulgi, making her sweat bullets. maybe she shouldn't have done this, she was probably making you uncomfortable!

"ahh.. sorry. i thought—i thought that doing this would have been better than asking, but it seems like it was only worse. ahem–" seulgi pushed the flowers out to you. "these are for you. i saw you looking at this flower at the flower shop and i assumed they were your favorite."

you studied the plants she held in her hands, amazed that she figured out your favorite flower, more so that she remembered that you bumped into her two months ago at the shop your friend worked at.

you took the bouquet and formulated the words in your head. "thank you." was all you said as you just looked at your dirty white shoes. you looked up and glanced around when you heard your classmates discussing amongst themselves. you suddenly felt shy under their gaze, particularly the girl who was patiently waiting for you to say something.

"could you.. maybe meet me after school?" you propose, which made seulgi's smile widen as she furiously nodded. you reflected the same expression, smiling at the bear's cuteness. it should be a crime to be so hot and so cute at the same time.

seulgi turned to return to her seat, hopping like a little kid who got candy but only she got something much sweeter.

you waited at the school gate, continuously smelling the delicate flowers. you wondered if your friend crafted the bouquet for her. just the thought of it made you blush like crazy.

"you look like a tomato." you spin in an instant after hearing seulgi compare you to a fruit. you quickly put your free hand on your cheek, trying to cool your face down. "who's making you blush like that? i'll fight them."

seulgi fighting for you? you let out a chortle, covering your mouth at the slipped laugh. she raised a curious eyebrow at you.

you ignored her question and carefully put her flowers into your bag, making sure not to crush a single petal. "i'm serious, i'll fight anyone who tries to steal you from me." she threatens with determination. you're stunned by how straightforward she was, and she saw.

"i mean—if you want to be mine that is." she lets another nervous laugh, rubbing her nape. that was a thing she often did when she was nervous, you picked up from her behavior before. adorable, a nervous seulgi, how funny.

the school crush is scared of rejection too.

"can we take a walk to the park? i just want to talk about, you know, uhm, all of this?" you rushed to say, hoping she could understand your jumbled talk. she nodded and followed your lead as you began walking in the right direction. seulgi just hoped that if you were going to shut her down, that you would let her down easy. her heart could not take the pain of rejection, she could barely handle the thought of you not liking her gifts.

"so.."

"so."

"it was you, by the way." you state.

"what was me?"

"the one who made me blush. it was you.." you felt shy repeating it out loud. "so you don't need to fight anyone."

seulgi's heart was beating so hard that she feared you could really hear it. she made you blush. fuck, she was in deep.

"when did you start thinking you liked me?" you interrogated as you paused at the crosswalk, the light red for pedestrians. you turned to meet her eyes and noticed the small height difference she had over you, the bear was just red in the face.

"i don't think i like you,"

WHAT?

"i know i like you. if you don't believe me, ask my heart." you couldn't help but fold over her cheesy words. if you knew she was such a cheeseball, you would have prepared your heart better. clearly, her effects on you were severe. you plant your face into your palms and turn away from her.

seulgi's shocked by your reaction, but she soon hears your girly squeals. "kang seulgi, where did you learn to be so cheesy?!" you exclaimed. she just watched you in adoration, loving how you were so giddy over two sentences. you cooled down and fixed your posture, trying to look unaffected by her.

"hm, i guess it runs in my blood."

the red hand turned into a green walking symbol, signaling that it was okay to cross. you began walking, yet again stopped by seulgi. she just smiled and grabbed your hand, wrapping it around her arm. you held her arm in confusion. "hold tightly when we cross, okay?"

the same heat creeped to your face once again. you started dragging her, so fed up by her gentleman-like manners. stupid seulgi and her stupid charisma.

you finally reached the park with your arms still linked. seulgi let a small cough out and when she got your attention, you realized you were still tightly holding onto her. you scrambled to untangle your arms, pretending to clear your throat. you watched her carefully set her bag onto the bench beside you, and she reached for the straps of your bag as well.

you let her take it off of you, loving how gentle and kind she was. she just met your eyes with her soft ones.

"well seulgi, thank you for the flowers. i honestly wasn't expecting to receive anything today, i usually don't get anything gifts. i didn't think anyone ever noticed me. i'm not pretty like those girls who fawn over you during your performances, or as confident as those boys would trip over each other trying to be the first to give you a compliment in the mornings." you give an airy laugh, your pained expression seen by the bear.

she was hurt that you didn't see yourself the way she saw you. seulgi stepped forward and wrapped you tightly in her arms, giving her famous bear hug to you for the first time.

"baby, don't you see? i noticed you. you are my pretty girl who sits in the library, falling asleep reading romance novels. my confident girl who hides in the dance practice rooms during lunch, singing and dancing your heart out when you think no one is watching." your eyes widen. seulgi knew you did that?! shit..

"i like you for who you are, so please don't be discouraged by others who could never compare to you." seulgi closes her eyes and enjoys your soft body, tightening her embrace. she feels you snake your arms around her waist. the two of you stood there in such a comforting position.

"baby?" you teased. seulgi whined at that.

"that's all you got?"

"hm.. you called me baby." you whisper, so happy to finally experience a feeling you thought only existed in movies.

"i did. i want to call you that forever, would you let me do so?"

you stayed silent to tease her again. she started to get antsy and tried to wiggle out of your arms to study what face you were making, but you stood firmly, not letting her escape.

"yes. i now declare seulgi as my baby as well!" you yelled. seulgi gasped and spun you in the air, the world's brightest smile on her face.

you looked around and suddenly the sky was bluer and the grass was greener. the color of the flower popped and the world was so colorful. you knew why.

the cause was standing right in front of you, grinning like an idiot. but you couldn't make fun of her when you were doing the exact same.

had to rewrite cuz tumblr keeps eating my posts

#seullovesme » posted!#seulgi x reader #red velvet x reader #seulgi x female reader #seulgi #kang seulgi #red velvet #kpop imagines #kpop fanfic #kpop #fluff

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plutoccult · 7 months

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OUT OF THE WOODS

pairing: levi ackerman x gender neutral reader

description: you were notorious for following levi’s every order without hesitation. it was practically unbearable for him, but the one time you disobey him is when he is eternally grateful.

word count: 2.8k

also available to read on my ao3 here

author’s note: this is something i’ve never done before aka write for levi! i’m hoping i haven’t strayed too far from his character, but it’s worth trying something new. i must admit, this is a little messy and i’m quite iffy about it, but i at least tried my best. i almost named this “the monsters turned out to be just trees” because i 1. love taylor swift and 2. thought those lyrics captured this almost perfectly, but i decided it was too long and just went with the song title those lyrics are from. this is something entirely new and never before posted anywhere else, but it will also be shared on ao3 as everyone has their preferences on where they like to read. as always, i hope you enjoy <3

you always obeyed levi’s every order, and god, he hated it.

“yes, captain.” you’d say. “right away, captain.” was another one of your go-to phrases. you could just… talk to him? like a normal human being? yes, he was your captain, but levi craved a normal conversation with you.

oh, wait. why did he want that so badly? why did he want to hear your voice say things other than replying to his commands for you and the squad? it’s not like he liked you. no, no! he couldn’t stand you. that’s what this was. right?

levi was particularly known for only listening to commander erwin’s orders and no one else’s, but he didn’t see himself of such importance. it wouldn’t kill you to protest a little bit for once. he even tested your obedience by demanding you glue a broken vase back together. you then proceeded to spend hours restoring it to its former glory. he was surely impressed, but at the same time, he couldn’t believe you actually did it. dare stubborn ol’ levi ever admit it, but he found it kind of cute.

when it came down to the 57th exterior scouting mission, your final order was simple; retreat back to your horses. things didn’t exactly go as hoped, and while the scouts learned something new that day, there was still so much work to do. you wished for everyone’s sake that one day you all could share a proper victory, but it didn’t seem possible just yet with something as stubborn as the female titan.

you and the rest of levi’s squad did as told, but it all went by the wayside when gunther was attacked out of the blue by a figure hidden under the disguise of your scout gear, their green hood concealing their face. there was no time to go along with the plan, now was time to fight back. the squad couldn’t let whoever killed their comrade get away.

as you all attempted to attack, the disguised assailant transformed in front of your very eyes into the female titan you all failed to successfully capture before. now this truly meant war, but the squad was simply no match for this monster.

it all seemed to happen in the blink of an eye. you lost your squad members one after another. you were the last one remaining, you knew this was it. this was your time to die, wasn’t it? part of you always thought it would end in the middle of battle, but not like this. this couldn’t be the end. you didn’t want it to be.

your brain struggled to catch up with everything happening so fast and hitting you all at once. it was impossible to think straight, to get your head together and fight properly. but it was also impossible to realize eren was turning into his titan form until it was too late. the impact of his transformation knocked you straight into a tree, leaving you unconscious as he avenged your fallen squad members, all while your captain had yet to head to the scene of the crime.

levi immediately knew something was wrong the second he saw the sudden glow of eren’s transformation from afar. of course there was something more to this mission. he had to get there quick before it could possibly get any worse, but his idea of “any worse” had already become true; his squad was gone.

he couldn’t do anything to stop eren just yet, levi knew that. this fight between two titan shifters was to be expected. if only the hothead wasn’t so blinded by rage. levi knew better than to let emotions get to the best of him, no matter how much it hurt seeing his squad like this, dying under his wing.

his eyes scanned the states of everyone. gunther, eld, petra, oluo, and then… you. you, who laid there motionless. the life taken out of you, or so levi thought. he couldn’t let this affect him. levi kept all emotions hidden, tucked and buried in deep where no one could find them, no one except the one person who was capable of bringing them out.

“captain…”

huh?! was his mind playing tricks on him? who dared to deceive his ears? it couldn’t be real. it was nothing. nothing at all. you were dead, levi was sure of it, just like the rest of the squad. he was left alone once again, seemingly cursed with this fate from the day he was born.

but then you let out a cough, blood coming out of your mouth and splattering onto the grass. my god, it wasn’t some sick joke from his brain. you miraculously were alive, and levi was too stubborn to let you die out.

he immediately rushed over to you and flipped you off your side so you laid on your back. you breathed heavily and coughed violently, muttering out weak apologies as blood stained your hands, but levi didn’t care. he’d stain himself over and over for your sake.

“you disobeyed orders.” levi said, trying his best to force himself to stay his usual coldhearted self, but it was a losing battle, just like today’s mission. he placed a hand on your cheek, his eyes once filled with anger now becoming soft. “you disobeyed me.”

you could’ve sworn the sight in front of you was like seeing heaven. the impact from earlier made your memories quite hazy, and while you knew you weren’t dead, you sure wouldn’t hate it if this was it. levi’s head blocking the sun made him look like an angel sent from the very land itself, and it was pure bliss.

you closed your eyes with a smile on your face, unbeknownst to you what had truly occurred. to your captain, it seemed like you had left him for good this time, but when he pressed his ear against your chest, he felt the rhythm of your heart as if it were a symphony.

levi couldn’t stand to leave you like this. he had to make sure you got to safety and were treated right away. even if it took you god knows how long to recover, it didn’t matter. but with the female titan trying to take eren alive, he had to remember why he was here in the first place and attempt to clean up the mess the scouts created. you were able to hold out for a little while longer by some sort of miracle, and when levi was able to capture eren back with the help of mikasa, he took you back to where you belonged; with him and the scouts.

by the time you returned to base, you were fast asleep, worn out from the mission. as there wasn’t enough room for all those who were injured, levi took matters into his own hands and tended to your wounds himself, even giving you his bed as he had a much bigger room and it wasn’t like he slept that much anyway. it seemed almost wrong and unprofessional to do so, but when it came to you, he couldn’t help but be a little selfish. it’s what a good captain would do anyway, right?

after what felt like ages, you finally woke up, your mind struggling to remember everything from yesterday. you grew confused as you found yourself in what wasn’t your room, and it became even more puzzling as you saw your captain sitting in a chair next to the bed waiting for you to wake up.

the look of impatience and worry was all you could read from his face and body language. his arms crossed, index finger tapping repeatedly like a drum on his bicep. he was looking away from you, watching the wind blow on the trees outside. levi had been using that view to pass the time and keep himself calm, but it didn’t really help much. only the sound of your voice was medicine to him.

“captain?”

levi lightly jumped in his seat and turned to see your face. you had been bandaged up, not a single wound left dirty. you were also quite bruised, and you immediately winced when you tried to adjust the way you sat. you couldn’t help but wonder what happened to you. if only you hadn’t hit your head so bad.

“you’re awake.” he said plainly. he didn’t want to show too much enthusiasm and freak you out, but on the inside, levi was so glad to see you were okay. the look of confusion on your face made him worry, and he felt the need to overshare and explain what was going on. “uh, this is my room. i took care of you since there wasn’t enough help.”

“oh?” you furrow your eyebrows. “what… what happened?”

“i think i could ask you the same thing, y/n.” levi replied. he had been waiting all this time to hear the truth of what happened. you saw what had happened to your fellow squad members, but with the way you lost consciousness, you had a hard time remembering it all. you could only draw blanks, and you felt as if you disappointed your captain.

“i’m… not sure. i don’t remember. i’m sorry.” you frown.

“i figured.” he sighed. he couldn’t get too mad, but part of him longed for an explanation so he could know where everything went wrong.

“where is everyone? surely petra must have helped you with this, right?” you ask, the question paining levi without you knowing a thing. “you couldn’t have done all of this by yourself.”

levi found himself unable to think about how to go with this. he wanted to let you down easy, lessen the blow, but with that look of innocence in your eyes, you just made it so damn hard for him. “y/n, they’re all gone.”

“gone?”

“gone.” he hated having it come out so harsh, but he had to get the point across without any sugarcoating. levi couldn’t lie, it would be an incredible disservice to you.

“no…” then you began to recall all that happened yesterday; the forest, that god damn female titan, it all replayed in your mind like a never ending horror movie. “no, this is all just one big nightmare. you can pinch me now, okay?”

your delusions only made it worse for levi. he couldn’t let you fool yourself thinking there was the slightest chance they weren’t gone, but he saw, he knew. all the life had been taken out of them, and whoever was behind the monster did it so cold-heartedly. it made him seem a little more humane in the eyes of his peers, as shocking as that was.

“i found all of you scattered on the ground. i thought you died just like they did.” levi said, those last few words coming out strained as he struggled to keep it together. he couldn’t let you see him like this, no way. he had to find an excuse to leave you be so he could go somewhere and let it all out without anyone seeing him.

“this can’t be, oh god.” you sob uncontrollably, making levi uncomfortable. he felt this way because it only made him want to cry with you, but at the same time, it felt wrong to feel like that.

“i can give you space to process this.” he began to stand up, but you tug on his sleeve to stop him, much to levi’s surprise.

“no, no, no. stay.” you giving him orders? he couldn’t believe it, but he would let you stop him, just for a moment.

“it is typically me who gives orders, you know.” levi spoke deliberately.

“well.” you pause, trying to find the right words. “i order you to stay.”

and just like you always did with him, he couldn’t help but obey your order. you let go of levi’s sleeve as he sat back down in his chair, too flustered to look you in the eye.

“i just… i wanna say i’m sorry i failed the squad, but most importantly, i’m sorry i failed you.” you say, your words full of utter shame, feeling like a complete failure. it was like you had just harshly tugged at levi’s heartstrings, despite it being crazy to think that levi ackerman did in fact have a heart.

“there was nothing you could do. the female titan outsmarted all of us.” he replied in that typical monotone voice. it almost started to irritate you. you were trying to have some sort of heartfelt conversation and it seemed like he couldn’t take you seriously. levi wanted to take all of it seriously, but he continuously battled with his mind and heart, and his mind kept winning.

“but it shouldn’t have happened.” you try to protest.

“we can’t turn back time, y/n.” levi argued back.

you can’t help but roll your eyes at him, a huge shock on levi’s end. “god, your words are terrible.”

“excuse me?”

“don’t you know it’s okay to feel things, captain?” you ask him. “i know they call you “humanity’s strongest soldier,” but is being emotionless a requirement?”

he’s unable to form words. where had this fire in you come from? had it been hiding this whole time? where had this disobedient soul been during the entirety of levi’s reign? he couldn’t help but be shocked yet amazed at the same time.

“that squad was like family to me.” you say with tears streaming down your face. “i thought you would’ve felt the same way, but i guess that suspicion i desperately tried to push away was right.”

“…and that is?”

“that you never liked any of us, not one bit, especially…” your lips tremble, but you force yourself to finish your sentence. “especially me.”

when you said those last two words, levi almost gasped. it made him feel so… terrible. so goddamn terrible he knew he couldn’t let his mind win anymore. it was time he chose his heart for once. “that’s nowhere near how i feel, y/n.”

“and how is it that you feel, captain?” you question, refusing to let your tears stop you from standing your ground.

this was it. this was the moment levi would pour his heart out to you. you were a rare jewel who was capable of giving him those pangs in his chest. not everyone could do that, but you sure could without trying or realizing it whatsoever.

“all my life, i thought that there was no point in caring because you’ll lose it eventually, but…” he began to speak, almost tempted to hold back, but he refused to do so any longer. “all i’ve ever been given here is a reason to care, and i didn’t want to show it. i didn’t want anyone to see it, and i wish they could know that i did. i did care, more than what’s possible to express.”

your hardened expression turned soft. to think he didn’t have such feelings made you feel so stupid. it’s easy to judge a book by its cover, isn’t it? but you read levi all wrong. oh so wrong. “you did?”

“i do, even now. that applies to you too, you know.” levi replied without shame.

“i didn’t think it did.” you avert his gaze.

“it’s almost disgraceful to admit how often you cross my mind, y/n.” your eyes widen when those words escape his mouth. was this real life? it seemed too good to be true. levi immediately thought he crossed a line, so he tried to shut the situation down as quickly as he could without ruining this moment. “i’m sorry if that came out weird, i—”

“no, no! it’s not weird!” you swiftly interrupt him. “i… i could say the same thing.”

“you could?” he said in amazement. it was like he was completely oblivious. why else were you always so eager to obey his orders and make sure you never let him down? you wanted him to notice you, and now he has given you his attention in the best way possible.

“yes, which i guess is kind of odd considering this is the first real conversation we’ve ever had.” you say with a faint giggle towards the end. “it’s a shame it had to be under these circumstances, really.”

“i know, and i’d like more, if you do too. it’s not an order, i swear.” levi replied eagerly, which was a pleasant surprise.

“i’d like that, captain.” you grin.

“can i… give you an order though?” he asked with a bit of hesitance.

“seems like poor timing to me, don’t you think?” you question, almost tempted to laugh at him, but you were going to see where this went.

“it’s not. i just… would prefer it if you called me levi from now on, please.” as if this couldn’t get any better. levi was saying “please” to you. god, you loved it.

“okay, levi. now i have an order for you.” you say with a smirk. “have a cup of tea with me, and you’re making it.”

levi smiled at the thought of what he would say next. “right away, y/n.”

#levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #aot #aot x reader #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin x reader #snk x reader #aot levi #snk levi #levi ackerman fanfiction #snk fanfiction #aot fanfiction #attack on titan fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin fanfiction #levi fanfiction #pluto writes 📝

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renren-006 · 2 months

Text

Love Knot | Enemy's to Lovers

Wanda x Fem reader

plot: god you hated her...and the way she smiled so beautifully, but you had to kill her...right? (This is a bit of a longer one shot)

warning: love, enemy,

word count: 1614

a/n: hey!!! i am soooo happy to be posting another Wanda story!! incase anyone forgot shes my wife!! i hope you all enjoy the story and thank you to everyone who voted and contributed to helping me get to where we are!! alsoooo do you guys like me doing polls?? i think letting you guys have some sway in the story is fun but also you can submit requests for any specific storys or even if its a character and a short idea id love to hear it!

You hated her, you hated how she made you feel, how you screwed up missions when she was there, and how your boss wanted her dead. The hell were you supposed to do? For the last three years the two of you have been enemies, with a hint of flirtation. The run-ins with the two of you started when your boss wanted to test you, test your powers so he sent you somewhere he knew an Avenger would show up. It was probably the most embarrassing moment of your life coming face to face with the Scarlet Witch, you force and almost peed your pants you were so caught off guard and nervous. At the time you had not developed the extent of feelings you would have over the three years, making you hate her even more for that, but nonetheless at the time you were terrified towards her. Your shield created itself from your hands, the metal in your blood seeped out to create the weapon. She watched as it formed, merely entranced by your powers.

“Is that all you do?” she asked, her Sikovian accent in her speech. Your own measly sound made its way out.

“No…cough No” You said. That catch almost made you look weak…almost. He laughed slightly at you and simply walked past you. What the fuck did she just walk away from me? you were baffled at what she just did, her suit swishing as she made her way down the hallway.

“What…I'm sorry…why are you not fighting me?” You asked running after her, your eyebrows were up signaling to her that this in fact was your first time in a ‘fight’. She stopped and turned to you, pinning you to the wall with her powers, your blood sounded in your ears and your heart thumped away faster in your chest.

“You've never done this before hu? Well little villain, I could kill you right now without even laying a finger on you but I won't, next time I hope you've trained more to fight me head on…sweetheart” she said all those things to you, leaving you stuttering at the wall and going home hours later after catching your breath and wrapping your mind around, her.

About almost a year later you came face to face with her again, this time you had a bit more experience and you knew your powers better. You couldn't exactly remember why you were there at the same time she was, maybe it had been a coincidence or maybe it had not, you didn't really know. She stood in front of you, eying you up and down.

“Here for a mission or just to see me?” You asked her, ketting cocky and flirting was the only way you were going to make it out of this interaction with at least some part of your pride. You didn't think you could win but you also didn't want her to know that.

“I'm on a mission, little villain” She said to you, annoyance and slight amusement coursed through her words. She wanted to be annoyed that you were there but she also wasn't exactly happy about having to go through the interaction.

“My name isn't little villain”

“Oh? Then what is it?” she asked me, cocking her head to the side.

“Y/H/N” You told her, she smirked.

“What's your real name?” she asked. A genuine question from the witch. You froze, your boss's words flowing through your head.

“Never give out your real name, they will find you or your family. We cant risk you fucking up this group.” Your boss said, harsh words towards you. You nodded your head. “Your only here because of your power, don't forget that”

“Y/N” you told her, letting your name slip from your lips. She smiled at you.

“Well, little villain Y/N, it's good to be your enemy,” she said. Her hands started glowing red and before you could even create a shield from your metal you were out. Once you woke up you realized that you were lying on the ground, alarms blaring and you had just messed up another mission. Your boss was going to be seriously mad.

The next few months were some of the harshest training you had endured, and all because you let Wanda get in your head and distract you. Your boss was exhausted from your run-ins and wanted her to pay. You did too, you wanted to prove yourself, but it seemed hard to both prove to her you were a villain and succeed in your mission. It took you a longer time before he let you go out, six months since you saw wanda you were sent out on another mission.

This next mission you had included stealing equipment from an old SHIELD building. You had more training and you knew and worked with your powers more fluidly. You walked into the door, careful about alarms or other triggers that one of the Avengers would show up. The building was quiet, nothing moved and no rumble through your skin of any movement on the metal around you. This building was completely abandoned. You crept your way down to their lab, hoping to find anything on the list of things you needed to grab. It wasn't until you were almost there that a small woosh of power flooded your senses. She was here. You looked up and there she was floating down towards you. You made a shield and swords, getting ready for whatever fight was going to happen.

“Well look at you, better handle your powers now sweetheart” she said once she was on the floor next to you. You nodded and straightened your back, nerves running through you. Your heart rate increased at the flirtations name calling. “You seem…different”

“Just ready for a fight now, ready to complete this mission”

“Ah, your boss is mad at you. Little Villain” She said smirking and giving you a once over.

“Only because of you” “Me? Why I'm not the one who doesn't have a handle on her powers.” She told you, but she was mistaken. The metal under her feet began to mold and wrap around her feet. She looked down shocked to see what was happening. The burning in your head made you have to fold her sword and shield back into yourself.

“Don't. Underestimate. Me.” you said, letting the metal in you wrap around her more keeping her in place. She smiled at you.

“I'd applaud if I had my hands available.” she told you. You gave her a look not letting her hands out knowing that's how she controlled her magic. You made your way swiftly into the lab room grabbing everything you could find on your list and walked back out a few moments later. Wanda was still trapped, but you knew you only had a little longer of strength to keep her there. She smiled at you when you let her go before you bolted out of the building leaving her there impressed by your use of your powers.

He wanted her dead a year later. Your boss put a hit out on her for everything with the Avengers and also some personal vendetta against the witch. You hated her, yes, and wanted to prove you were powerful but you never wanted her dead. How could you when you liked her so much? You knew you had to do something…something to stop this. You knew you were enemies even if you didn't feel like it. That night you made the most drastic decision ever, you sent a message to the Avengers about the threat, and sat back and waited.

Three days later the attacks started and of course you did your best to stay out of the way and not die. You knew she was here before she even landed in one of the hallways. The metal sung her song of magic shocking your veins. You could feel your boss, marching his way towards her. The security cameras, shit. He saw her arrive and was on a mission. You made your ebay up the stairs towards the top level of the facility. Once you got there the fighting had already broken out, and before you could even think you flung yourself into the conflict fighting your way over to her. Then there she was, you pulled her back and threw a shield up before your boss could throw his power at her, it reflected and hit him instead. She stared at you, eyes wide.

“You sent it,” She said, looking deep into your eyes.

“I did,” you told her. Once you lowered the shield your boss was in the group backing away. The other Avengers arrived to see him being held to the ground by your power. Wanda held her hand back before they could touch you, letting them know you were good, you were not a threat to them anymore.

“Don't. Ever. underestimate me again. I'll defend her from you if you try to harm her again” you told him, crushing him more with your power and then letting him go so the others could finally lock him up.

“Well little villain, looks like i need to change your name. Little Hero” she told you, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

“It's your fault too that I fell in love with you” you said, referencing when the former boss of yours was mad at you because of her. A smile fell onto her lips.

“Well I could say the same thing," she responded. The two of you are happy to not be on either side of a fight anymore.

#wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #mommy wanda #wanda fanfic #wandavision #wanda x you #scarlet witch

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the-likesofus · 1 year

Text

the forest for the trees

6x15 Coda | Buck POV | 1k words | Confessions, Getting Together

"I see you." Is the first thing that Eddie says when Buck opens the door to his apartment to find his best friend standing in the hallway at eleven o'clock in the evening looking all kinds of distraught.

"I–, what?"

"I see you, Buck."

"Well, yes. You're standing right in front of me." Buck says, stepping back to let Eddie in the door. "Why are you here? Where's Chris?"

"At Pepa's for the night." Eddie shakes his head like he doesn't understand why Buck is asking, like it's irrelevant, and he leans against the kitchen bench. "But that's not–. Buck."

The way Buck's name crosses his lips is almost like a wine, a plea. Eddie's shoulders are a tense line while he rings his fingers together and chews his lip. Buck's skin prickles with apprehension.

"Do you want a beer?" Buck asks slowly.

"No. No, no thank you. I just–." Eddie stumbles through his words like they're too big for his mouth. "No, I just need you to listen for a minute."

He takes a deep breath and shifts his feet like he's settling himself.

"I see you, Buck! You are kind, and you are thoughtful. You–, you hate mustard and love cooking shows and you screw your nose up every time you see one of those little scraggly dogs but you'll stop to pat it anyway.

"You are always doing things for everyone else. You are supportive and genuine and you love my son, Buck. And he loves you too and I will never be able to thank you for everything you have done for him, for both of us, and I will never be able to make it up to you. But Buck, I see you, every part of you. Even the parts you don't like and even more so the parts that you can't see."

Eddie is red in the face when he slams his jaw shut and stares off absently at Buck's sink, his eyes wide and glassy.

Buck steps closer to him, slowly, like approaching a spooked horse.

"Eddie, I–." Buck doesn't really know what to say, what can he say to follow a speech like that while his mind is still reeling and his heart is pounding in his chest? This feels like something big, something important. "I appreciate that, but what brought this on? Are you okay?"

Buck has to stop himself from reaching out a hand to test Eddie's temperature because the man looks three seconds away from passing out.

"You said, yesterday, at the cemetery, that you thought that you felt like Natalia saw you. But how could she, Buck, how could she when she doesn't know you?" Eddie chews the inside of his cheek as his eyes flit between Buck's eyes and his chin, never resting anywhere for long. "Maybe the lightning strike did change you, I can see that change but you are still you. Still all of those things I just said just–. You're alive, Buck, and I think you feel that way now too and you don't have to pretend to be the 'same old Buck' for anyone because you are him. You are my best friend, and my partner, hell, even my co-parent in all the ways that matter."

"Eddie–?"

"No. No, if I don't say this now I don't think I'll be able to, so listen. You–, just listen." Eddie points a finger at Buck and then finally locks eyes with him. Buck feels as though Eddie's dark gaze is boring straight into his soul. "I see you. I see you but more than that I know you. I love you. I am so glad you are alive and I never want to know another minute without you in it."

Buck feels it, he feels seen. But he's always felt seen by Eddie. Eddie always understands exactly what Buck is trying to say even when he doesn't have the words, and knows exactly what he always needs to hear. Buck has never felt dismissed or overlooked by Eddie and by God it's been in front of him all along and he realizes now that his vision was so clouded by searching for the things he thought he needed that he didn't realize he already had everything he's ever wanted.

"Eddie, I–." Buck kind of wants to cry but if he starts now he's not sure he'll stop. Every ounce of pent-up frustration and confusion and hope and terror that has been fighting within him since he woke up in the hospital is pressing at his seams and he suddenly feels too small to contain any of it.

"Do you understand me?" Eddie continues and Buck suddenly realizes that he's right in front of him, toe to toe with Eddie's hand hovering by Buck's waist like he wants to touch but is afraid Buck might break, so Buck steps into him and wraps his arms around Eddie's shoulders, both hands instantly cupping around the back of Eddie's head as he draws him in.

"Yes," he whispers in Eddie's ear as the other man meets him seamlessly and gathers Buck up, holding him back just as tightly. "Yes, I do, I promise."

"Good."

Eddie leans back after a few long, deep breaths and cups Buck's checks in his hands. "You okay?"

"I feel like I should be asking you that. You're the one that barged in here rambling like a madman. Are you okay?"

"Never been better." Eddie grins. "I'm going to kiss you now."

"You are?"

"I am." Eddie says firmly and Buck's stomach does a summersault. "Are you ready?"

Buck chuckles at the absurdity but also at how genuine the question is and how strongly the sense of right washes over him.

"I am now." He says and then Eddie does. Their lips meet in the middle in a careful press, each of them unsure, out of practice, and overwhelmed. But then Eddie smiles against Buck's lips and they're pressing together again, this time firmer, more sure of themselves and each other, and then all Buck can feel is Eddie, Eddie Eddie.

His hands on his cheeks, Buck's on his shoulders, their chests pressed together and their arms squished between them.

They pull away for a breath before Eddie dips back in to leave one last searing kiss against his lips and then they're breathing heavily into the tiny slither of space between them as they both grin manically.

"I see you." Eddie whispers and it sounds like I love you, so Buck kisses him again.

#buddie #6x15 coda #buddie fic #911 spoilers #meegs writes stuff #911 fox #buck x eddie #911 fic #eddie diaz #evan ‘buck’ buckley #eddie x buck #buddie ficlet

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returnsandreturns · 6 months

Text

can't believe i almost forgot to write matt wearing something slutty for halloween

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Foggy says, before he can stop himself, feeling like he’s been punched in the gut when he sees Matt’s costume.

Matt lost a bet with Marci, which he almost always does when they make bets because Matt believes in the good in people and Marci shamelessly cheats.

“That bad?” Matt asks, wincing.

Foggy makes an incoherent noise.

“You’re so hot I can’t even look at you,” Foggy says, which is a lie, because he’s staring at Matt’s naval where his white shirt is tied up and following the scattered line of dark hair to fully take in the fact that he’s wearing a plaid skirt. He’s considering jumping out the window when it hits him exactly what’s happening.

Marci knows that Britney Spears was his first crush and that he’s pretty sure that the Baby, One More Time video did some problematic things to his sexuality at a young age. He thought they broke up on good terms but apparently she actually hates him and wants him to die.

“I probably look ridiculous,” Matt says, huffing out a soft laugh, turning to sit his clothes down on his bed and giving Foggy a view of the soft white cotton panties that he’s wearing, stretched tight over his ass.

He has no idea what he did to Marci to make her do this. She’s evil, maybe. She’s a villain and he’s completely innocent and now he’s going to die of unrequited lust.

“Matt, you–you really committed to this, huh?” he asks, weakly. “By the way, I wouldn’t bend over too much at the party unless you want to seduce everyone.”

Matt looks back at him, confused, and then immediately stands up and smooths the skirt down.

“Sorry,” he says. “Marci got it all for me. I was going to skip the underwear and wear my own but I, uh, kind of–well, I couldn’t chicken out and let her win, obviously.”

Matt is bright red, shifting on his feet, messing with the skirt.

“. . .do you like wearing them?” Foggy asks, voice slightly more high-pitched than he intended, because he’s good at reading Matt’s pauses for what they actually are and he’s pretty sure that pause meant I kind of like it.

“You can never tell Marci,” Matt says.

“Okay! Alright! I think I have to go drown myself in the sink,” Foggy says, hauling himself to his feet, “because I am having thoughts that God should be striking me down for.”

“Wait, what kind of thoughts?” Matt asks, catching his arm before he can leave, pulling him just a little bit closer.

Foggy wants to kiss him. He wants to feel how warm his cheeks are. He wants to lift Matt’s skirt up and go from there.

"Don't make me say them," he says, weakly. "You're just. . .I mean, you're hot all the time which is hard enough on a man but this is. . .I try not to think sexual things about you, Matthew, I really do, but this is testing my limits."

There's no way that Matt doesn't know that Foggy has a crush on him. They've gotten drunk enough that he's sure he rambled on enough about Matt's hands or something to get his point across. He's always considered it a known factor of their relationship.

Maybe Matt's so repressed that he can't recognize that another man talking about how he kind of wants to lick his abs but he won't because he respects their friendship are the words of somebody who wants to lick many other parts of him.

"Will you stick with me at the party?" Matt asks, letting his finger trail down Foggy's forearm before letting go of him, smiling hopefully. "I think I might get some--unwanted advances."

"I will do my best to protect your virtue," Foggy says, staring at the wall about a foot away from Matt.

"Well, I didn't ask for that," Matt says, and Foggy glances over just in time to see him lick his lips.

Fuck.

Matt wants him dead, too.

There's no other explanation.

#my fic #daredevil #mattfoggy #the audacity to call matt repressed and then not notice that matt is silently screaming that he wants foggy to hit him baby one more time

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trash-king18 · 10 months

Text

m pt. 5

more overprotective miguel since you all seemed to like part 3

cw: sfw, overprotective miguel, mentions of alcohol, mentions of a g*n but no violence, reader has a panic attack, more soft miguel>>>

————

it’s been a few more weeks now. Miguel was busy as always and you rarely saw him outside of his next infusion.

It was tense but for once he made no fuss and let you run all your tests after without being a pain. you almost wished he would be annoying, anything would be better than this weird post-nonprofessional silence. at the end of the week everyone was planning to go out again. you weren’t sure it was smart after last time but spider woman convinced you, and as much as you loved her you didn’t wanna be stuck with Mayday right now.

parallel

Peter B swings into Miguel’s office, oblivious as always

“Hey boss”

“no.”

“oh cmon you didn’t even let me finish i barely started”

“~no~”

“annyyways the team was gonna go out ya know hit the town tomorrow night. wanted to let you know incase you wanna make an appearance.”

“and why would i do that?”

peters silent for a moment

“you know.. because she’ll be there.”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about parker but i don’t have time for this now please shut up before i throw you in the go home machine ~again~”

he pauses and then continues

“well… i just thought after last time you’d want to know anyway have fun gotta go bye

he swings off again

mayday! honey sweety please don’t put that in your mouth.

hey! can somebody grab the kid?”

“ayúdame dios, voy a matarlo”

so help me god i will kill him

—

The next night you were out with the whole crew at a bar, it always got confusing because all the different peters insisted on being THE peter and everyone else had to pick a new name, but one too many fights has started over that so now you made them draw straws.

you were relaxing, drinking a mock tail which was essentially just ice and juice but it tasted good. spider woman was dancing around the whole place with her husband and they were always a sight to see. Peter B had challenged you to a game of darts and he was losing.. terribly. most of the spider people, who were in plain clothes right now, had crowded around you and were cheering. when suddenly they all went quiet.

you looked around trying to figure out what they were all looking at

just in time for peter to score a double 20 causing him to cheer for himself like a loon while everyone else was silent.

you saw him right before Peter did to which he immediate response was “Heyyy!! boss glad you could make it ya know i am losing terribly right now do you think you could sub in for me just for a round gotta call home real quick check on the missus.”

you address peter but you keep your eyes on him.

“No peter that’s ok i’m gonna go back to the bar, you win this one.”

you wanted a relaxing night off, and right now the tension between you was anything but relaxing.

You push through the crowd and return to ask for another of your last drink.

when the bartender sets it down before you can grab it a hand reaches from behind you to pick it up

“hey!”

he holds the drink up and sniffs it. apparently satisfied which it’s lack of alcohol he sets it back down. you just glare at him.

“what are you doing here”

“well it is a.. “company” party and i am the boss”

“it’s not a party, we’re just having fun. something you’re not very good at so if you’ll excuse me”

he grabs your arm gently but enough to keep you from walking away

“have you been drinking”

“wh-none of your business”

he makes his grip just a little bit firmer

“answer me or i take you home right now”

“what are you my f-“

you stop yourself. no matter what had happened between the two of you and no matter how infuriating he was you would never say those words to him.

instead you pull your arm from his grip

“no. i haven’t.”

and then you storm off.

you hate how every time he’s near you you start to act like a sexually frustrated immature teenager. not that it was all on you, he returned the energy 10 fold and normally instigated it.

Peter slides up to him after you leave.

“Smooth dude. real smooth.”

he just looks at peter before saying “no.” and walking away

Spider woman and her husband come up to P.B.

he’s talking his weird middle aged dad nonsense

“crazy kids, i sure hope they make it”

Spider woman laughs, maybe but they’re like the opposite of fire and water. they’re like.. fire and gasoline.

PB “nahhhh i got hope for em”

“you keep hoping peter”

she pats his shoulder and walks off

he follows you outside. you’re clearly stressed and the man who was out there smoking offers you a cigarette. you’re about to pass when the man looks up at something behind you and says

“my bad uh enjoy your night”

you whirl around and come face to face with him.

“where are you going?”

“away”

“that’s not smart”

“my masters in biochemical engineering says i’m capable of making that decision myself”

“do you know where we are?”

“earth 54, downtown New york”

“but do you know your environment?”

“i have eyes i’ll manage”

“so you noticed that parked car down the street that’s only been running since you came out?”

“I-“

“and you knew the guy who offered you a cigarette was planning on pulling you into said car most likely to take you to some underground trafficking ring”

you just stare at him in disbelief.

“you know just because i don’t have spidey sense doesn’t mean i’m incapable of sensing when somethings wrong. see you spider boy might have good hearing and whatever else but i grew up as a woman on streets not much different from these. and i learned how to take care of myself long before i had any self righteous over protective douchebags to act like my personal body guard.”

he’s about to stop you but before he can you open a portal and jump back to Nueva York. You’re so riled from your latest fight with Miguel you don’t even notice the draft the terrace door being left open. When you open the door you notice the dark figure standing out there you just assume it’s him and you go out to scold him immediately.

“Ay o’hara que dije, no quiero hablar contingo”

ay miguel what did i say, i don’t want to talk to you

but as he turns you realized it’s not him. you don’t even bother to close your door before you grab your knife from the strap where it’s hidden under your clothes.

it was a specialized dagger that could cut through spider webs… just in case. Lyla and spiderbyte had helped you design it.

“now who the hell are you”

the figure doesn’t move, he stays lounging against the railing.

“look dude i’ve had a shit day, i’m already pissed, today is not the day.”

this guy clearly got in through the inside door so you doubt he’s a spider person. so you opt for the gun holstered in the back of your belt instead. you’d carried it since you were 17 but you’d never really had to use it.

his face stays completely shadowed, even in light so you assumed this was an escaped villain from spider-man noirs universe. as much as you felt the need to prove a point and handle this yourself, you had no idea who this was or what kind of skills you’d be up against. So you click the backup button on your watch hoping hobie or someone else responds but knowing it’d probably him following close behind you anyway.

your best chance right now is to stall and asses the threat

“Where are you from huh?”

he finally speaks his voice is gravelly and weird

“not here.”

“yeah? like out of town… or a different universe.”

“smart girl. you one of those spider chicks?”

“maybe”

“hmm”

you can’t see his face but you feel him appraising you.

“so.. what is it that you need mysterious shadow person on my terrace.”

you were trying to get him to move, you knew from growing up that watching the way someone moves is a great way to get a sense for how they fight. and you wanted to get him into the light more.

you glance at your watch

your mistake

never look away even for a second. when you look back up he’s standing closer, you hadn’t even seen him move. you pull your gun up getting ready for a violent encounter.

“oh cmon now don’t do that darling”

“stay there and i won’t have to”

“hmm you’re a feisty one. that’s too bad”

it’s hard to see movement when he’s essentially a shadow in the dark but you tense and get ready to let your instincts do the work until a dark figure comes barreling through your apartment and out onto the terrace so quickly and silently you only knew he was there because you felt him. He tackles the figure but you watch it slip out of his arms and reappear on top of the railing.

in a mocking tone he says “adios sweetheart”

then he’s slipping into the dark. Miguel gets up and rushes to you and tenderly grabs your face

“Are you ok”

he looks genuinely scared of your answer

“i’m fine, go after him”

you push his hand off

“not until i’m sure you’re safe”

“he wasn’t even attacking me, and right now you’re letting him get away.”

“There’s two others on him right now”

“of course there is.”

you take the clip back out of the gun.

“since when do you have a gun”

“always”

“you keep that on you?”

“all the time.”

he gives you a weird look you’ve never seen from him before.. you realize it’s pride.

“why are you looking at me like that?”

“nothing just realizing maybe mi cariño ~can~ take care of herself”

“O’hara i swear to god you call me that one more time i will cut your tongue off with your own teeth”

he just chuckles at you

“im beginning to believe that you could”

“wanna test that?”

before he can answer Lyla pops up on his watch

“Spider man 784 and 613a have secured the target, placing him in an electromagnetic pod now. will have him brought to your office immediately for questioning.”

“That’s ok Lyla i’m gonna secure the building, send those two back out with a couple others to patrol the perimeter.”

“Will you be a while?”

“Id say our interrogation can wait until the morning.”

“Sure thing boss”

“surely you don’t think you’re staying here all night?”

“i need to make sure no one else is gonna break in. Guns don’t do much against shadows.”

“can’t you do that from outside.”

“i know you’re mad at me but i’m not leaving until i know you’re safe. so your options are stay in my office all night while I work or let me stay here.”

“ni hablar. im not-“

no way

“i won’t bother you”

“you’re not sleeping on my couch miguel”

“this way you can sleep in your own bed, and i don’t have to worry about you. besides i’m not sleeping i’m guarding.”

“so.. clearly you’ve missed the entire point of our last two conversations”

“conversation is a weird way of saying you scolding me like a boy”

“if you didn’t insist on acting like one, i wouldn’t have to”

you try to push him out of your apartment but he turns around and holds himself in the doorway. and he has the audacity to pout at you. like full on puppy dog pout, which shouldn’t work when he’s the size of a mastiff if dogs were people.

“no.”

he just holds himself there with that look on his face

“… no! get out”

“no vas a ganar esto”

you’re not gonna win this

you groan

“do not. wake me up. o juro por dios que te asfixiare mientras duermes”

or i’ll suffocate you as you sleep

you shower and get dressed in the bathroom then find him exactly as he was before pacing and brooding just this time it was on your terrace. you make tea for yourself as you always do. you glance out at him from time to time.

you knew he was getting some weird sense of attachment to you but this overprotective macho thing was really becoming a problem.

you take a mug out to him, as an excuse, you expect him to turn it down and he does.

“this can’t keep happening”

“hmm?”

your voice was gentler now, not angry just tired. the shower and the tea had calmed you down after the fight and your adrenaline rush. although you still felt on edge.

“you know what i’m talking about. i don’t know what weird animal or testosterone fueled need you’re fulfilling by acting like my sworn protector but i need it to stop. ok? please”

“i’m just doing my job. protecting people.”

“miguel your job is to protect the spiderverse and collect anomalies. not swoop in the second something goes wrong just because we-“

“because we what?”

“you know”

“i thought you said it wasn’t anything to talk about”

“if you don’t want to talk i’m going to bed”

“no. that’s not what i said”

you take a deep breath.

“look i know what happened between us was… it was a lapse of judgment but it’s been affecting our professional relationship and now it’s interfering with my personal life. I value the opportunity that i’ve had working here with you, and i don’t intend for that to end but i need you to be honest with me about what is going on here so that we can move forward.”

he was quiet for a long time.

“that sounded rehearsed” is all he says

“i’ve been trying to figure out how to word it for a while”

“do you really think it was a lapse of judgement”

“was it not?”

“no uhm i mean you’re right”

“if you disagree you can say so”

his tone suddenly takes on frustration

“and why would i tell the truth when you’re still lying”

“i’m not”

“you do realize i can hear your heartbeat changing, smell the sweat form on your skin when you lie.”

“i’m calling your bluff spider boy”

he bristles as you call him that

“yeah? then how is it ~cariño~that i know you don’t entirely hate it when when i call you that,”

he steps closer

“i knew you were lying when you said you didn’t want me to stay,”

steps closer again

“and that you don’t think it was just a mistake.”

and then he closes the gap between you

“so i’ll ask you again mi cariño, was it ~just~ a mistake”

you look up at him defiantly

“i’m going to bed”

he couldn’t tell if you were lying if you didn’t answer.

when you finally shut your bedroom door behind you you could finally breath.

he worked you up so easily every time he was near you.

it had been like this from the beginning. you two were constantly bickering, switching between english and spanish constantly. He was so sassy, even with the kids, sometimes you had to hide your smile or else you might have to admit that you found it slightly funny. and it was the first time you had truly found a match for your attitude. to be honest it reminded you of home. your sister in law knew enough spanish from growing up together but she wasn’t fluent and ever since Pedro had..

well it just wasn’t the same.

although you definitely didn’t think of Miguel like a brother. you weren’t sure exactly how you felt about him.

you tried to steady your breathing, but this time it was steadily getting worse. the memories of your brother, the events of earlier, and the way miguel keeps managing to get under your skin was finally getting to you. you had felt another episode coming on for a while now but you had managed to keep it at bay.

“shit, shit. not right now please not right now”

you pressed your back to the door and held your hands on your chest trying to slow your breathing but the thoughts were racing through your head and the world was starting to tilt and spin at the same time.

you try and walk over to the nightstand to find your rescue medication you have for when this happens. you stumble over, tears are starting to form in your eyes which only makes it harder on top of the dizziness. you just desperately try to keep your breathing quiet even as you hyperventilate.

at this point of course, he’s inside the living room by your bedroom door listening.

you can barely walk and you end up crawling over to the side of the bed. you fumble to pull the drawer open and you start to panic more when you don’t find it, you dig through frantically but it’s not there.

you left it in the medicine cabinet, in the bathroom.

you sit back into the floor fully hyperventilating now, everything’s spinning out of focus. your hiccuped sobs come in between the breaths that you struggle to take.

you don’t notice him push the door open at first.

“y/n?

hey hey y/n what happened”

he comes up to you and kneels next to you

“can- can i help?”

you’re barely responsive, you don’t even move.

he reaches out where you can see and when you don’t move away from his hand he gingerly places it on your arm. he takes that as a sign that he can touch you.

if you could think straight it probably would’ve surprised you what happened next but you felt like you were dying.

he sits down on the ground and gently pulls you between his legs into his arms with you back pressed flush against his chest and wraps his arms around you tightly.

“estas bien, te tengo, te tengo, estas bien”

you’re ok, i’ve got you, i’ve got you, you’re ok

you’re trembling and still struggling to breath but he keeps the pressure while he starts to slowly rock you.

he begins singing. a spanish lullaby

you can’t even tell what he’s saying at first but slowly your breath starts to steady and you stop shaking as much. you recognize the song from when you were a kid, it’s one you sang to your nephews when they were little

he doesn’t stop singing until your breathing is starting to slow

“muy buena, inhalar y exhalar.”

very good, inhale and exhale

he holds you like that just breathing in and out with you.

you eyes are shut tight, you’re not ready to move or face him.

he doesn’t seem ready to let go either. so you allow yourself to stay like that.

he finally whispers your name. softer more gentle than you’d ever heard it. no underlying frustration or superiority

you don’t answer at first so he says it again

“hmm?”

“puedes abrir tus ojos para mi?”

can you open your eyes for me?

you shake your head slightly

“ok. puedas hablar?”

can you talk

you shake your head again. not yet you think to yourself, not yet.

“ok ok, Me levantaré y te pondré en la cama, ¿está bien?”

i’m gonna get up and put you in bed okay?

he shifts to start to be able to pick you up, but you grab his arm tightly.

“hey hey hey se acabo, estas bien”

it’s over, you’re okay

you know you’re okay now but you don’t want to let go yet. as much as you want to ignore that it’s him the pressure helped. you lessen your grip and he starts to stand you up and slowly walk you over to the bed.

“Quieres agua?”

do you want water?

you nod. he leaves and fills up a glass then quickly returns with the water. he holds it to your face even after you took it from him because your hands are still unsteady. he takes it back and places on the nightstand. he’s crouched beside you with his other hand rubbing the small of your back. it was small but reassuring.

“vamos, deberías acostarte.. yeah?”

cmon, you should lay down

you nod again.

he supports your head as you lay back. unnecessary but you don’t mind it right now.

he pulls the covers from under you so he can pull them over you.

you still haven’t made eye contact with him this whole time.

he doesn’t want to push you but he keeps trying to search your eyes to see if you’re okay. you can feel it. you still don’t look at him but you finally speak.

you voice still comes out slightly shaky.

“medicine cabinet. top left.”

it takes him a second but he finally gets it he disappears for a moment and then comes back into the room with a bottle of pills. you didn’t necessarily want him to know about them but you needed one and you doubted he’d let you get up if you wanted to.

He walks over and looks at you slightly puzzled, slightly concerned. He opened the valium, he could see it was prescribed but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t worry what was so bad you needed prescribed rescue medication.

he put one tablet in his hand and grabbed the glass of water. you sat yourself up enough to take the pill before lying back down all while refusing to look at him. you close your eyes again all that’s left is to wait for it to hit.

“i’ll be back in to check on you, just uhm.. si me necesitas, estoy aquí. solo descansa ahora.”

if you need me i’m right here, just rest now.

he hovers for a second before pulling back to slip out but leaving the door slightly ajar.

you fall asleep for you don’t know how long but when you wake up it’s still dark. you can tell he’s next to you kneeling beside the bed. you don’t move, you’re still too embarrassed to face him.

your turned away but he gently brushed your cheek with the back of his finger.

he whispers to you, assuming you’re asleep

“mi pobre cariño, que sucedió”

my poor darling, what happened

your brain was still hazy and all your senses were dampened by the medication. but the gentle touch was enough to make you stir

he moved to sit on the edge of the bed

hey lo siento, solo te estaba revisando

sorry i was just checking on you

you look away again by adjusting

“mm”

he reaches out to grab your shoulder gently.

“como te sientas? necesitas algo?”

how are you? do you need anything?

you don’t answer

you’re half asleep snd still so mellowed out your barely even paying attention to what you say.

“hey necesitas algo?”

you whisper

“miguel”

estoy aquí, que necesitas

“im here what do you need”

you just mutter his name again

“Miguel”

your hand moves up onto his hand on your shoulder

he let’s go of your shoulder to hold your hand in his

you don’t remember exactly how he ends up laying on the other side of your bed, still in his suit above the covers of course, but you do remember him gently rubbing your back as he softly muttered the same lullaby to you until you fell back asleep.

“arruru mi niña

arruru mi amor

arruru pedazo de mi corazón

este niña lindo que nació de día

quiere que lo lleven a la dulcería”

————

here’s the taglist just comment if you want to be added

@urmotherswhor3

#miguel o’hara x reader #miguel x reader #miguel o’hara x you #miguel x y/n #spiderman 2099 #atsv #miguel ohara #across the spiderverse #miguel spiderman #miguel spiderverse #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara fanfiction #spiderman 2099 spiderverse #atsv miguel #miguel ohara fic #miguel o’hara smut

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