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aparticularbandit · 1 year

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I shall give you a character, and that character will be...!

Jessica Rabbit. *wiggles eyebrows*

untitled? ask? meme?

it's because you knew i was writing jess stuff isn't it i'm taking a break from writing jess stuff to answering jess memes it's like 2014 up in here again wow

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you

How I feel about this character: You really. You really just going to ask me this one. You really just gonna ask me a question I can write a book on how I feel about Jessica Rabbit and how she deserved exactly nothing I put her through and really she is happy for me to not be writing her anymore because it means she's not in pain but she's still around do you know I have a character in a book named in homage to her do you know I named one of my kittens after said character do you know that I now have a pet literally named after her without being named after her that is the biggest deal that is the big cheese that is so important I don't even write her anymore and yet I'm sitting here answering this question taking a break from writing a fic to give a character a potentially happy ending because I actually can even though it has been YEARS since I wrote her Jessica Rabbit keeps finding her way into my fandoms even when I switch them do you know she was in one of the first fics I wrote for Roisa do you know that I had an entire arc based around her do you know that she just--

All the people I ship romantically with this character: YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO ANSWER THIS ONE FRIENDO?! -SOBS- We're doing best hits because I'm not gonna go into all of the Jess ships. YOU ARE CRUEL. Roger, obviously. Like. Duh. The Jess/Scully ship wrecked me, and I miss it. So much. SO MUCH. (Also if we're throwing blame, I'm gonna blame @fictionpenned because I can.) And I will not elaborate because I honestly don't think I can. The Jess/Regina ship ALSO wrecked me, and I blame @notoriousjae for this entirely. I also will not elaborate here except to say that Claude didn't deserve half of what we put him through. I miss Ducky and our Jess/Annie and Jess/Evanora ships. The soulmate timer universe I keep going back to was created for Jess/Annie, and they were cute together. I miss the vulnerability of Evanora with Jess. (Alana shall not be mentioned because that is OC!Jess and her relationship with actual Jessica Rabbit was so fucking toxic that I can't actually ship it. Like we literally had to create another alternate universe to make up for the shit we did to those two.)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Jess/Eddie. Give me more Jess and Eddie things. Always give me more Jess and Eddie things. (Also Shadow. OBVIOUSLY. I MISS THEIR BANTER. SO MUCH.)

My unpopular opinion about this character: I know that the Jess is Ace headcanon is really popular, and I love it, you know as an ace who writes Jessica Rabbit, I love this headcanon, and I hold it dearly to my heart...but also it is not my headcanon, Jess is pan, she was created with a very specific purpose and being pan fits with how she was designed. I love your headcanon very much please keep it I love Jess as an ace icon, mine just isn't. ><

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: ...in the movie? Honestly, I don't want changes to movie Jess. She's great. That was an excellent movie. I would not add anything to that. The book is its own special form of.... It's a weird fucking book, y'all. Not bad, just. Weird. Good? Subjectively? Disney kept...names, mostly, and the barest of bare concepts (Jess is still humanoid, Roger is still a rabbit, Herman is still a baby, and Eddie is still a detective) and that is about it the plot is entirely different the book is about finding out who killed Roger and there is no Judge Doom it is so wild but I don't...know if...I would change it...either? I'd have to reread the book to think of things to change. (JESS DESERVES BETTER IN THE BOOK, TOO, ACTUALLY.) And honestly...I don't really - like I'd love more WFRR stuff but I don't think...I don't think it would capture what the original did. So I actually...don't have an answer for this one. Whoops?

My OTP: Don't make me choose, I literally have one Jess funko pop between Scully and Roger and another (different) Jessica figurine between Scully and Regina (and yes I guess this means Scully gets both of them, don't judge me) like. Don't make me choose between them. (I love Jess/Roger, but it's Jess/Regina and Jess/Scully I have a hard time choosing between.)

My OT3: ...did I have an OT3 for Jess? ...I don't really think...the ships I mentioned above...have OT3 potential. Roger is way too jealous for that (Jess could share Roger; Roger couldn't share Jess). I mean. OT3 doesn't have to be sexual in nature, so then, like, Roger/Jess/Eddie would be...yeah? Kind of? (But also I'm feeling intrigued by the idea of a Jess/Alana/Scully thing because like. There's potential in that. Would have smoothed out some things. Remember how Jess actually went to therapy and it didn't fix anything and actually in fact made things worse because I DO. Reasons you don't have sex with your therapists, kids; it might just add to their trauma and end up with them turning into a cannibal.) Actually, I could conceivably Annie/Jess/Evanora because there are some interesting things that could be played around with in that, but then that gets weird because Annie and Evanora were twin sisters - or probably would have been if they were both involved (their verses were usually separate, so it wasn't an issue), so it would be more Jess being involved with both of them. I could bring Haruko back, but that's a bad plan. You know what, actually, Miyo and Jess could easily be open to a third person. Can I just say I don't know? Because I don't know.

#cobaltstarling #bandit answers questions #meme response #HOW DARE YOU #DRAG MY PAST UP TO HAUNT ME #now i'm just gonna be over here crying about jess and scully and jess and regina like that's my life today #while i write jess FINALLY GETTING ROGER TURNED BACK INTO A HUMAN LIKE FINE IT TOOK EIGHT YEARS BUT YOU FINALLY DID IT #outside of the ouat verses #which we shall pretend did not exist #oh those were such a mess #'roger's a toon again but jess isn't and now they can't be together because toon/human relationships are REALLY FROWNED UPON and someone #would end up DEAD'#dear self #where even did i post that headcanon i should look over that one #REMEMBER HOW AN ANON ACTUALLY PROMPTED THE JESS AND ROGER GET TRANSFORMED THING #BECAUSE THEY ASKED IF JESS WANTED TO BE HUMAN AND SHE WENT THROUGH - MENTALLY - ALL THE REASONS THAT WOULD DAMAGE HER RELATIONSHIP WITH #ROGER AND SO SHE SAID NO #DESPITE THE FACT THAT WAS WHAT SHE WANTED MORE THAN JUST ABOUT ANYTHING #BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT HUMAN WOMEN WERE TREATED BETTER THAN TOONS WERE #AND SHE WANTED TO KNOW WHAT THAT WAS LIKE #UGH JESS I LOVE YOU BABY BUT #-cries-#I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS YOU CAME HERE AND HURT ME

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babocka · 10 months

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Tag drop: General. Some of these may be subject to change, but for now, pretty happy!

#[ ooc. ] i'm gonna go paint the wall. i have to finish fifteen walls today. sigh.#[ ic. ] we tell them “things will be better tomorrow.” everyone knows it's a lie; but it gets them to sleep with some hope.#[ answered: ooc. ] pfft no way; telepathy ain't real! ... wait a minute. you're not actually trying to read my mind; are you?#[ answered: ic. ] that's not the only thing you won't have heard of down here; princess.#[ psa. ] even if you've completely forgotten our promise. then i'll just have to knock you out and bring you back myself!#[ saved. ] unlike you; my memories from when i was little are crystal clear.#[ prompts / memes. ] fine. i'll play along. but it's only because i'm not busy today.#[ crack. ] If any disagreement arises between us. i don't care if we're fighting or arguing. you must come confront me in person.#[ salt. ] arguing through text? isn't that unfulfilling? might as well fight again in person. just quickly clear the air; end the conflict.#[ et cetera. ] hmph. i'm no good at consoling. but i can hit you on the head a few times. no problem.#[ self promotion. ] wear this red scarf; and then we shall share each other's pain. we are family. we are wildfire.#[ promotion. ] nah; i could've taken it on by myself. but still... fighting alongside you two was pretty fun.#[ visage. ] to all those thugs and gangsters in the underworld; i'm like a spectre always haunting them.#[ meta. ] oleg gave me the name. he said that it meant “soul” in ancient belobogian.#[ mini study. ] we may live underground; but we won't be buried by this city.#[ essence. ] she got used to people losing their homes. and she got used to people losing their lives. but crying alone was useless.

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dead-girl-tells-stories · 25 days

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DC x DP Prompt

To the delight of Gotham's citizens, and the dismay of her criminal underbelly, the GCPD has a new specialized unit that ACTUALLY apprehends criminals and brings them to justice!

It's a relatively small squad of mostly young adults, who looked fresh out of their teens. But age didn't matter once they got the work done. And they did, as they've already got criminals like Penguin, Riddler, and Bane behind bars for what looks to be 'for good'.

No one besides Commissioner Gordan knows anything about the squad as they operate as a mostly separate entity from GCPD. It was rare to see any of them, and any photos taken were unusually blurry. They are also extremely secretive; if you exclude their social media which are usually just shit posts, memes, and thirst edits of the Wayne family.

They were a total mystery. Almost as mysterious as Batman.

But those who have seen/worked with the squad before all had the same thing to say about them. They were cool. They had an unusually effective method. And their leader is a menace. With his sharp teeth and pointed smile. And bright blue eyes that spoke to your soul. It was a pleasure to see/ work with him, it really was. But they weren't planning on doing so again for a long time.

That being said, Gotham had been quiet for a while. A bit too quiet if you ask anyone, especially the Bats. Strangely, it didn't feel like the usual calm before the shit storm. The instinctual pit in their guts that usually formed just wasn't there. This was different. This wasn't the calm before the storm. This was the ocean receding. But no one seemed to realize it yet.

Not until the tsunami came crashing down on them.

The GCPD special unit accounts that had been inactive for the last three months suddenly pinged to life. Everyone who followed them clicked the notification almost immediately. With this unnerving calm surrounding them, who the hell didn't want to see what batshit crazy statement they would make after three months of radio silence.

What they didn't expect, was to see a crystal-clear picture of justice finally being served.

The picture was a selfie, taken in an abandoned warehouse. In the middle of the dirty floor was the Joker. He was tied up and his head hung low. You could see how beaten he was, his clothes torn and bloody. His face paint was also coming off, revealing pale blotchy skin. Reminding everyone that, he was still human, just like the rest of them.

Behind him, all lined up with smiles on their faces, was Team Phantom. They were a bit bloody and bruised as well but overall in much better condition. They weren't wearing the normal GCPD navy blue uniform, but black and white ones. All stylized to fit the wearers taste. They all looked so young, but their eyes looked like old tired eyes, finally getting some relief.

From in the corner was their leader. Only part of his face was in the picture. One glowing blue eye, and part of his Cheshire smile. His hand making a peace sign next to the Joker. Even with only part of his being shown, everyone could tell he was relived as well.

And while the picture itself was shocking, the caption was what really got them. The top was what you would usually expect from the team. A big bold 'GOT EM' ' at the top. But at the bottom in small, almost unnoticeable text was:

"He will face his punishment. We will get our retribution. May we finally rest in peace."

#dp x dc #dpxdc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dp x dc prompt #dp dc crossover #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp prompt #danny and the gang are fragments of the souls of those the joker + the other criminals killed or got killed because of them #guess who most of danny's soul is made of #hint: he has pit rage #the joker is no longer human that's why they had a hard time cathing him #neither are the bats but neither party knew #i would like to mention that danny is tiny #he missed his growth spurt and is making it everyone's problem #danny is a tiny menace #danny sam val dash and kwan mostly work out in the feld #tucker wes and star are the guys and gal in the chair #Paulina Dan and Jazz are the lawyers who prosecute the crimanals #they always win #duh #ellie is their mascot #shes also a mencae #she sometimes go out on the felid #wearing a tutu #combat boots #and a studded leather jacket #with her hair in pig tails #she also has a spiked bat #she WILL use it

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deadghosy · 2 months

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Okay, I saw the part in the noob!reader post about Kirby. I love Kirby and would love a Kirby!reader in hazbin hotel. Like how he is cute but can consume worlds and everyone is just like *pikachu shocked face*, same with him being able to pull out random weapons from his abilities. I can imagine he got there from a new weird portal and meta knight is like “where is he NOW?”.

Kirby is a being of chaos and I love him ❤️

I ALSO LOVE KIRBBY I WAS A BIG KIRBY KIN💗💗 🦆

HAZBIN HOTEL X KIRBY! READER

prompt: you lost the sight of your best friend only to be somewhere completely different.

Meta knight was walking ahead of you as you picked up flowers with your cute smile. “Poyo!” You said smiling ready to show meta knight your flowers you picked up into a bouquet.

When all of a sudden, you were getting pulled into a red portal as you screamed out to meta knight who seemed to be in his own world.

“POYO! POYO!” You then get sucked in as meta knight turns to see nothing. “Reader/Kirby?…..where is he NOW!” Meta knight exclaims, his accent thickening in worry as he runs around the area calling out your name.

Meta was basically that Brandon rogers meme when he lost his “child” 😭

You swirl in the portal to get thrown out and roll into the feet of a person. “Oh my! Are you okay sweetie?” The sweet voice says as she picks you up. Charlie looked worry seeing you dizzy. “Poyoo..” you said with a dazed out look from your trip of the portal.

Charlie took you in her hotel, getting you water and suited to rest as vaggie checks up. After 24 hours, they kept you as you became part of the hotel staff.

I headcannon you once accidentally swallowed Angel because you saw him as a regular spider. You literally transformed into his color palette before Charlie made you cough him up.

Angel was so traumatized 😭

I imagine you literally almost ending hell’s population by yourself cause you were hungry..you dead ass ran through the streets eating random shit. Thank goodness Lucifer picked you up and ran.

You once walked into Lucifer brain storming and he saw you…he immediately had a new idea for his duck creation. He made you stay in his room until Charlie said it was your bed time.

Vaggie always keep tabs on you so you don’t cause trouble around the pride ring and the hotel.

IMAGINE HOW YOU LITERALLY ATE A BUILDING…A FUCKING BUILDING AND HUSK WHO TOOK YOU FOR A ERRAND STROLL WAS LIKE

The egg boiz

Nahh cause you definitely had swallowed up the egg boiz to have a egg shell around you to hide in the egg shell like an ability.

Sir Pentious is always scared of the fact of you just eating him. But you don’t cause you literally get fed chips by the bar. So Pentious calms down and lets you have some time with him

Lucifer would probably make you inhale one of his rubber ducks so you can have a duck beak and wings just so he can chase you around with heart eyes excited that his hyperfixation became real

You have a duck hat and a duck pj set. ALSO WITH AN APPLE THEME SET WHICH IS FAMOUS IN MORNINGSTAR FAMILY ❤️❤️

I can see you always following Alastor like the egg boiz did in “scrambled eggs” 😭 except you just waddle beside him cutely

“Poyoooo… poyoooo..” you said softly as you tug on Alastor’s pant leg. Alastor looks down slightly entertained by your language and gesture for him to look at you.

“Well aren’t you an eager little thing…” alastor says picking you up and taking you to show Rosie his new found friend.

Husk once

STOP IT CAUSE WHAT IF YOU INHALED A KNIFE AND EQUIPPED IT ONLY YOU BE THAT FUCKIN MEME WITH KIRBY HOLDING A KNIFE😭😭

YOU WOULD STAB SOMEONE’S TOES AND KNEES YOU ABSOLUTE MENACE!!‼️

You definitely stood outside of the Vee’s tower holding the knife with a smile as Valentino looks so scared closing his curtains.

#justiceforangeldust

Angel dust loves you to the point he might adopt you as a sibling since you are pink like him.

Charlie and vaggie are the parents who maintain what you eat and sleep. Dead as you were gonna eat a butterfly when vaggie picked you up like “NOPE! NOT TODAY!” And took you inside for the rest of the time-

See I can personally just imagine that Kirby gif where Kirby eats the whole ass meal on the table. So imagine the crew’s face seeing you do that shit 😭

I can see you getting on fat nuggets and just start to ride fat nuggets like a cowboy 😭💗

Angel definitely recorded it as you just smile while fat nuggets runs around the hotel freely.

I headcannon you bought a bunch a flowers for the crew and the was so adorable how you just picked each flower matching the cast’s colors

Imagine you just watching a hell cartoon and Vox is like “kill them! Kill your entire family” as you jolted shocked and cry at the scary tv man

Niffty once fed you dust particles thinking it wouldn’t affect you…it did cause you coughed and got sick. Niffty cried, not thinking it would harm you as she sniffles giving you soup in your room.

Niffty was banned from making lunch for you😭

Alastor be trying to troll you into eating cannibal meat, like dead ass he would make you a sandwich with “turkey” meat. But you could already smell THE MUSSTTT 🤮

So he failed with that mission. But at least you like his radio station and his jazz music.

Charlie brought you to her meeting with the first man so she can feel comfortable as you are kinda like her service animal.

Adam actually would like you cause you love to eat endlessly and you are pick up size. This mf will literally pick you up with one hand and dribble you like a basketball or treat you like a damn football💀

“Hey lute! Go long!” “Yes sir!” Lute replies back as she moves back far. Adam launches you making you scream as lute flies up and catches you.

“GOALLLL! FUCK YEAH!” Lute says accidentally throwing you off of the cloud floor they were on. “LUTE WTF?!” Adam yells looking at you fall before a portal had eaten you up. “Well damnit…I was gonna miss that lil pink shit.” Adam says before walking away with lute close behind him

Meta knight is back at home was tweaking out as he literally sobs eating with a picture of you on the table. He misses you deeply as he stares at the photo before looking down. “My friennnd…” he says with a sniffle as he covers his face.

Good ending was that you plopped down on the table from the portal as meta immediately hugs you as you smiled happily, showing him the flowers. You guys ate dinner happily!

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zhongrin · 1 month

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psssst Rin idea ehehe.... imagine having a remote control vibrator and alhaitham has the remote :))) that's it that's all bye //runs

crys.

...... must you send this while i'm on my period hauhdwhjfshdakhd

cw. minors dni, fem!reader, afab!reader, vibrator, self-indulgent shit bc i'm 1) in pain, 2) horny, and 3) just because i can. tldr; this is crys' fault /silly /lh

al haitham has your cycle memorized. it may sound like a useless thing to dedicate one of his brain cells for, but in his opinion, it really isn't. the common theories of the female hormones factors a lot into your mood and emotions, hence it makes a good tool to interpret your actions and outlines a specific guideline for him to act accordingly to make sure he continues to prove himself a suitable partner for you.

but sometimes, the man couldn't resist but just to tease you a bit.

and you look adorable in his eyes, all flushed and pouty like this.

"what's wrong? i thought someone said she wanted to 'get all the chores done before my uterus throws a tantrum for not getting to house a fetus'?" he asked, a little too nonchalantly, as he pressed buttons on the washing machine with one hand, the other sneaking into his pocket to play with the intensity of the little toy fitting snugly between your puffy folds.

"you're evil," you somehow managed to choke out, knees trembling as you held onto the edges of the sink, having to pause from cleaning the dishes at the heightened vibrations, "evil."

"that's not what you said last night with your legs wrapped around my w-"

"al haitham!!!"

"we're at home and kaveh's out to survey a project. i see no reasons for you to act unnecessarily demure."

you grumbled and muttered under your breath as you tried to wash the soap suds off the plates. a chuckle left your boyfriend's lips, and you feel a momentary relief when the buzz between your legs lessened into a hum.

key word here being 'momentary'.

you continued on ー wiping the plates dry, setting them onto the drying rack… as you reached out to open the cupboard drawer, the devil whispering in your beloved's ears seemed to have won the silent battle within his mind, for the bullet-shaped contraption seemed to increase in intensity with every seconds that passed. higher. higher. higher.

"h-haith- oh- fuck-" the quiver in your voice was palpable; arms steadying yourself onto the counter in a hurry. you were sure the dampness would have shown over your shorts by now; he'd been playing with that remote all morning, and it was driving you nuts.

perhaps it was that very desperation that prompted you to turn towards him with a pair of pleading eyes. perhaps it was your hormones going haywire that made you latch onto him and whine like a bunny in heat, your hands roaming across broad muscles, hips canting towards the growing bulge beneath those grey sweatpants.

oh, you really, truly look adorable when you were insatiably horny, he thought.

"…. fine. consider it my duty to finish the chores later," lush greens zeroes on the trickle of slick slipping down your thigh, the swipe of his tongue across his lips unconscious yet felt like added desire into your already heated loins.

"for now, i suppose your duty is to be thoroughly spoiled by me."

#genshin impact #genshin smut #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #al haitham x reader #al haitham #rin writes #minors dni #rin answers #rin is having tea with: crys 🧡

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mcflymemes · 8 days

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THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT - THE ANTHOLOGY BY TAYLOR SWIFT PROMPT LIST * assorted lyrics from the album, some lines slightly adapted for meme purposes but feel free to adjust as necessary

even if it's handcuffed, i'm leaving here with you.

trust me. i can handle a dangerous man.

i love you. it's ruining my life.

does it feel all right to not know me?

i am who i am 'cause you trained me.

quick. tell me something awful.

i loved you the way that you were.

we were just kids, babe.

i can fix him.

you and i go from one kiss to getting married.

you said i'm the love of your life.

way up there, i actually love it.

i just don't understand how you don't miss me.

do you hate me?

did you think i had it in me?

what if i told you i'm back?

i still miss the smoke.

i'm not trying to exaggerate, but i think i might die if it happened.

you look like stevie nicks.

it's hell on earth to be heavenly.

i still can't believe it.

this happens once every few lifetimes.

didn't you hear? they called it all off.

it's happening again.

my friends say it isn't right to be scared.

i might just die.

fuck you if i can't have us.

tell me about the first time you saw me.

are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me?

no one's ever had me... not like you.

stay away from her.

there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you.

i don't think you've changed much.

that's where i was when i lost it all.

life was always easier on you than it was on me.

i hoped you'd return.

do you believe me now?

what if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time?

what are the chances you'd be downtown?

is it something i did?

oh, we must stop meeting like this.

they say what doesn't kill you makes you aware.

i'm not a donor, but i'd give you my heart if you needed it.

looking backwards might be the only way to move forwards.

the story isn't mine anymore.

what a charming saturday!

none of it is changing.

wild winds are death to the candle.

one bad seed kills the garden.

i'm bitter, but i swear i'm fine.

this place made me feel worthless.

i didn't want to come down.

everything had been above board.

blood's thick, but nothing like a payroll.

you can mark my words that i said it first.

the professor said to write what you know.

all of this to say, i hope you're okay.

your words are still just ringing in my head.

i built a legacy which you can't undo.

who do i have to speak to to change the prophecy?

the effects were temporary.

no, i'm not coming to my senses.

babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it.

you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

i guess a lesser woman would've lost hope.

thought of calling you, but you won't pick up.

you're a professional.

long may you reign.

you're an animal. you are bloodthirsty.

now i seem to be scared to go outside.

i don't believe in good luck.

i hate it here.

if i'd been there, i'd hate it.

only the gentle survived.

i'm lonely, but i'm good.

you have no room in your dreams for regrets.

i thought it was just goodbye for now.

are you still a mind reader?

let it once be me.

i haven't decided yet.

i still dream of him.

i'm so afraid i sealed my fate.

it was always the same searing pain.

i can't forgive the way you made me feel.

it wasn't a fair fight or a clean kill.

she used to say she wished that you were dead.

tell me all your secrets.

they tried to warn you about me.

you're in terrible danger.

i'm the life you chose.

yes, i'm haunted, but i'm feeling just fine.

no one asks any questions here.

tell me i'm despicable. say it's unforgivable.

i'm running back home to you.

you should see your faces.

you knew the price going in.

was any of it true?

who the fuck was that guy?

i don't ever want you back.

did you sleep with a gun underneath out bed?

you don't get to tell me you feel bad.

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

am i allowed to cry?

there's no such thing as bad thoughts. only your actions talk.

they're going to crucify me anyway.

i know i'm just repeating myself.

that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.

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wolfjackle-creates · 3 months

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broski I beg of u to tell me about your Danny is Clark’s nephew wip im so intrigued

@hailsatanacab also asked about this one! I shared two snippets for them so check out Part 1 and Part 2. (about 900 words total between the two asks.)

This was inspired by the discussion on a prompt you made ages ago, actually! Here's the post. The main prompt isn't the inspiration, however. It was the comment about Danny joining the JL and [insert spiderman meme here].

Let's see if I have anything I can add. (I changed things enough when posting the first bits that everything else I have doesn't fit anymore.)

Eh, fine. Just went through and wrote another 600 words.

-----

Danny winced. “Yes, Uncle Cl— Kal. Uncle Kal.” Danny glanced next to him and realized Constantine had moved several feet away and was deliberately trying to not attract attention. He bit back a smile and pulled on the Prince Phantom persona Queen Dora had forced him to learn. “Thank you for your assistance, Laughing Magician. I now declare our deal complete and will make no further claims on you.” He waved his hand producing a piece of parchment which he handed over. “As promised, your payment.”

Constantine grabbed the paper and backed away quickly. “Great. Glad to do business with you, your highness. Hope your family reunion goes well. I’ll just—” he jerked a thumb over his shoulder, then changed something and disappeared through a portal even as several of the League members present tried to yell at him to stop.

Danny rolled his eyes as he fell back into his more relaxed demeanor. “Oh, please. What more did you want from him? I’ll talk to Uncle Kal and he can decide what is important to pass on. Magician Constantine already told you most of what he knows.”

“Just… come on, Danny,” said Uncle Clark. “We need to talk.”

---

Finding a place to talk to Danny wasn’t the problem, Clark quickly realized. Shaking off his coworkers, however… Bruce in particular did not want to be left out. And Wally was too curious to be put off.

“Danny?” called Clark when he realized the kid wasn’t with him.

“By the viewing window,” said Bruce. “He seems to enjoy the view.”

“Right. Should’ve guessed.” Clark cursed himself silently for forgetting how much the kid loved space. “Batman, please. I know you like to know everything. But can I just talk to my nephew alone? I’ll explain everything I can after, but I need to know how this situation could’ve happened in my own family without my knowledge first without you being there inserting Opinions.”

“Very well. I’ll collect Flash and we’ll leave the two of you alone. But I expect a full report after.”

“I’ll make a peach cobbler, Ma’s recipe, and head to the Manor tomorrow to tell you everything.”

“I’ll let Nightwing know.”

Clark sighed. “I’ll make two cobblers.”

Bruce’s lips twitched upward, but he turned without saying anything more. “Flash! Since this matter is going to be delayed, I believe you still have to file your report on the incident last week.”

Clark chuckled as Flash protested. But he didn’t listen to their discussion, instead joining Danny by the viewing window. He settled an arm around his nephew’s shoulders. “Beautiful, aren’t they?”

“I can’t believe you get to come up here and look out at the stars any time you want.”

“I don’t get up here as much as I’d like, I’m afraid. And when I am up here, it’s because something somewhere is going wrong so I don’t get to appreciate it as much as I’d like to.”

“So, if you’re an alien, does that mean Dad’s an alien, too? Is that why he is the way he is? Am I part alien?”

Clark laughed and ruffled Danny’s hair. Like this, it felt almost insubstantial, like passing his hand through mist. “Fraid not, kid. No one knows why your dad is the way he is. I can’t remember how often he was tested for the meta gene.”

“Once a year every year from the time he was six until he was twenty-two and graduated undergrad and started living on his own. Then he stopped for a few years. Until he started dating Mom. He accidentally broke her apartment door once and she insisted he get tested again.”

Clark wanted to laugh, but all he could remember was Danny’s earlier statement. “Danny… Are you…safe with your parents?”

-----

Again, anyone is free to continue this! If anyone wants, I can combine everything into one post to make it easier to do so.

#dpxdc #danny fenton #clark kent #danny is clark's nephew #clark is danny's uncle #first time writing clark pov #hope there's no glaring errors

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sunshine-theseus · 4 months

Text

Meme Girls | Zecira Mušovic x Reader

Words: 2.7k Summary: doing a video with Zecira leads to a lot of unnecessary angst Warnings: angst, poor early a.m. writing request for - @wosofanfics note: y'all i'm sorry if this sucks. it has been proof read but i'm literally half asleep and it's 1:15am. i hope it's good.

“Welcome back to another episode of Meme Girls.” Laughter breaks out across the room as Zecira tries to introduce the video, tripping over her own tongue.

Aggie and I are sat on bean bags facing each other, Zecira between us. We were supposed to doing a football challenge with some of the other girls for someone’s YouTube channel but whoever was supposed to be joining the goalkeeper here had to pull out. That left us.

“To my- stop laughing! To my right side, Agnes Beever Jones!” I give a small cheer and clap as Aggie throws her hands up in the air, all of us laughing simultaneously. The camera man gives us a dirty look, a sign for us to hurry this up.

“And to my left,” I give her a wink when Zecira turns her head to look at me.

“Y/n, the hotshot, L/n!” I can hear some of the girls outside the door, cheering on as well as they pass by, some even whistling.

“Why does she get a cool nickname? That’s not fair.” Aggie complains, adjusting herself in her beanbag to look at me.

“I’m simply better.” A cheshire grin is thrown her way.

“When Emma tells you training is cancelled because of the rain.” The prompt is arguably quite easy but we both spend some time contemplating which photo suited it best. Aggie holds up a relatively old picture of Fran, clearly walking off the bus for a game, her thumbs are up, and earphones are in.

“Completely chill. A day to relax and have no worries, spend time with friends. Whatever you want.”

“Nah it’s time to celebrate. That call is rare and I’m appreciating every damn second.” I rather aggressively pull my photo from the stack of cards. A picture of me from last season after a UWCL game against Lyon, my shirt clutched in my hands as I knee slide into the corner after scoring the winning goal.

“Wow. You look really good there.” Zecira’s voice is pretty alluring as she compliments me, and I turn a fiery shade of red.

“This isn’t fair. Z is going to pick you because you’re in love or whatever.” The young striker whines.

“You and the fans with those stupid speculations. We’re just best friends.” I avoid looking at Z as I try to jokingly tell Aggie off, her eyes rolling at my denial. What I do miss is the light that dims in Zecira’s eyes as I say it.

“Whatever you say.”

We’re given a few more prompts before the media manager calls time. I end up winning 3-2, Aggie tossing a fit by throwing her cards at me. Her fake childishness is scolded by one of the onlookers, clearly too serious in comparison to us, but we only continue to laugh as we stand from the bean bags. I take hold of Zecira’s hand to help her up as well but pull too hard, the Swede falling forward as I rush to catch her. My hands slip under her shirt as I grab her hips and both of us blush a deep red as I try to apologise, trying to forget the feeling of her skin beneath my hands.

The next few days between Zecira and I are awkward. Between the tripping situation and the comments from Aggie, our relationship had been strained and neither of us wanted to bring it up, so we didn’t talk at all. The things fans had to say under the video didn’t help.

‘Zecira and Y/n are definitely dating right?’

‘Find someone who looks at you the way Z looks at Y/n’

‘New favourite friends to lovers.’

They were funny, sure, but untrue. At least that’s what I told myself whenever I looked at my best friend, dark hair tucked behind her ears while laughing at something Guro said, and I felt jealous. Or when I go to score a goal in training and she dives for the ball, her shirt riding up and the tight muscles of her abdomen flashing briefly, and I can feel my face heat up and my stomach tighten.

And eventually, due to popular demand, I’m back in another video, facing Sam in a ‘Meme Girls Championship’.

“Welcome to the Meme Girls Championship. Today we have the two winners of the previous games, Samantha Kerr and Y/n L/n. Are you ready?” Sam lets out a guttural scream and I simply nod, trying not to freak out about the tingle in my leg where Zecira and my legs touch.

“Here we go. When you make a tackle outside the penalty box, but the other team still get the penalty.” I flick through my cards, searching for the best one, but Sam is ready in no time.

She holds up a picture of Zecira and Ann-Katrin, standing side by side with sour looks on the faces. It’s good enough for a chuckle but I’m certain I can get a better one. I eventually land on a picture of Jessie. She’s dressed in an old training kit, hands covering her face, clearly disappointed in something.

Zecira takes a moment, looking back and forth between the two photos we’re holding up.

“Zecira. You’re in it.” Sam gives her a side eye, hinting at the fact she thinks she should win.

“Wifey Z. You know this is the better one.” The nickname had been a running joke between us for some time, so neither of us think much of it, despite the obvious fact we probably both wished it meant more.

“Mmmm, I have to go with Y/n’s.”

“No! These cards are unfair! I used that last time and you picked Jessie’s one of me breaking my shoulder!”

“Get wrecked Sammy.”

The comments under that video are unexpected. I don’t remember doing anything that would elicit any ‘couple’ comments, yet they were full of them.

‘I think Y/n just accidentally exposed their relationship at 1:17’

‘WIFEY? She knowwws. They’re definitely together, you don’t just call someone your wife.’

So apparently, I did imply we were a couple, but it was from a simple misunderstanding. The issue that comes with that is the inability to deny it. If you deny it, fans assume you’re hiding something, and obviously there was nothing to confirm, so we had to live with it.

Turns out it was hard to live with. Anytime either of us posted, those comments would pop up, asking us to confirm it. At games there were fans shouting it out. Even the girls began speculating whether we’d been secretly hiding a relationship for who knows how long. It was beginning to get tiring, especially when I have feelings for her.

I wanted nothing more to just go up and kiss her and tell her how much I like her, then the comments could be true, and I’d know that. Hopefully it’d also mean I’d get to hold her hand as we walk side by side and kiss her good morning every day. But I was certain she didn’t feel the same, so that was that.

~~~~~

It took a week after the video was posted for things to go back to normal within the team and between Zecira and I. Occasionally Millie or Jess would jokingly ask us ‘how the married life is’, or something along those lines, and we’d all just laugh.

It was a tradition between me and Z, that after a London derby, we’d pick a nice restaurant and go out for dinner. Both of us get dressed up and walk out of the stadium together, sign a few things and go. It started in 2021 and we hadn’t missed a dinner since. So obviously that’s what I prepared for when we had a derby coming up.

I had a new rusty orange, satin dress that I’d brought in preparation for the dinner. Hanging it on the rack in my cubby before I got changed into our warm-up kit always made me a little nervous, aware of the casual outfits that adorned everyone else’s wracks. I didn’t bother looking over at Zecira’s space, expecting her outfit to be hanging like it always was. Perhaps I should have.

The game was tough as always during a derby, and very physical. The likes of Katie McCabe and Caitlin Foord made it difficult to stay standing if the ball was at your feet and I knew I was likely to come out with bruises from the start. I must say I didn’t expect the black eye that began swelling after an elbow to the face from Lotte.

By half time I looked a wreck, and Emma was prepared to sub me off if they didn’t let up by 60 minutes. I’d lost count of the number of bruises that had begun developing on my legs and arms, even my torso was sure to be black and blue, and admittedly my eye was somewhat hard to see out of. I was also limping, a studs up tackle from Katie landing on the inside of my right ankle making the tissue rather tender.

“You’re going to look like that blueberry girl from Willy Wonka soon.” Zecira jokes as we make our way back out to the pitch.

“Heh yeah, dinner might be a little awkward for the other people around.” I get a smile back before she makes her way to the goal, and I head to the middle of the field to meet with Erin to do some short drills again.

The game ends in a tie. 2-2 across the board. I gathered more injuries as the game went on but nothing that wasn’t more than superficial, and I was buzzing to sign a few things and take some pictures with the fans before heading back and dressing up for dinner with my best friend.

Then I see them. Zecira is only a few people away from me at the barrier, talking to a guy. The conversation seems very interesting and sweet, nothing more than a footballer meeting a fan. Until they kiss. So, as her best friend, I make my way over. Why had she never mentioned him?

“Hey Z! Who’s this?”

“This is Tom. We’re dating, nothing official yet. He’s going to take me out for dinner tonight.” It’s hard to be upset when you see the smile that spread across her face. Her dimples were showing and there was a sparkle in her eye. But I wasn’t one to just let someone break a tradition after 2 and a half years.

“Tonight? What, after we go to dinner? You know, at the restaurant we’ve been waiting for a table at for months?”

“N- no I mean right after I get changed.”

“We always do tonight Z.” I start to seethe through my teeth.

“Well can’t you go like tomorrow or something?” I understand Tom was trying to help. I can only assume he wasn’t aware about the years long tradition between the girl he’s dating and her best friend. But I could imagine that if we were in a cartoon, steam would be coming out of my ears and my arm would be swinging, getting ready to knock him out in one hit.

“Uhhh, no. No we cannot. Because not only does it take months to get a table, we have to go tonight because it’s tradition. Routine. We’ve never missed a derby dinner once Zecira and like damn I’m going to let us start now. Not for some guy.”

“Common it’s just one. It’s not that big a deal. I’ll make up for it I promise.”

“Make up for it? There’s no making up this dinner. But have fun with Tom. I guess I’ll go get real dressed up, eat portions that are far too small and drink much too expensive wine by myself and be thrown looks all night. See you in training.” As I storm off, I catch glimpses of the remaining crowd that is yet to trickle out and realise perhaps I should have waited.

Now embarrassed as well as angry, I run down the tunnel in desperate search for an empty room. I eventually stumble into one and slam the door closed and lock it. The walls rattle and I hear something fall off one of them, but I find it hard to care as I search for the light switch.

Once I find it, it’s hard for me to hold back all the emotions that have been building up over some time. I rip my boots of and throw them at the door with all my might. I’m surprised the window doesn’t shatter.

“Stupid fucking feelings. Stupid fucking dinner. Stupid fucking Tom. Stupid fucking game.” The list goes on for some time as I cry, broken up every now and then by a scream.

Eventually I slump to the floor in the middle of the room and sob. My chest heaves and I struggle to breathe as I cry into the ground. The bruises and black eye are long forgotten as my lungs struggle to expand, and I begin to panic.

‘This cannot be fucking happening right now no no no.’ a panic attack is the last possible thing I need and I’m in a random room all alone. No one knows where I am. Everyone could have gone home by now.

My head is pounding. Or maybe it’s someone at the door. I’m not sure. I don’t have the energy to figure it out.

‘I hope someone finds me soon’ is probably the last thought I’m aware of having. But then someone’s arms wrap around me. Their perfume is familiar, but I can’t quite place it as they hook an arm beneath my knees and another behind my back. Most of my surroundings are lost, sight blurred and hearing fuzzy as I try to draw in more air, so I don’t know where I am until I feel a mattress beneath me.

I could identify the medical room beds in my sleep, and this was definitely one. After a few minutes of just resting there, my breathing started to slow and I came around. Newly aware of a hand gripping my own, I turn to the person beside me.

“Zecira? What are you doing here? You have dinner with what’s his face.”

“You’re more important. And, what you said on the field… you’re right. I was wrong in breaking tradition for some guy I’m not even really into. It’s- it’s just…” she trails off with a sigh.

“It’s just that, I needed something to take my mind off you.”

“Off me?”

“Yes. Look, after those videos we did on media day, and the one after, I couldn’t fathom the idea of me telling you how I feel and you rejecting me. I like you so much but I know you don’t like me back so I started going on dates. Tom was the only bearable one.”

“Wait wait wait wait. You think I don’t like you? Zecira, there aren’t enough words to express how much I like you. Seeing you with Tom, it, it made me mad about the dinner sure, but I was also jealous. I want to be the one kissing you and taking you on dates, holding your hand, celebrating a win.”

“What?”

“Kiss me you fool.” The angle is poor but despite it, we lean toward each other until our lips are connected.

It becomes quite a hungry kiss, but I pull away before it can get too heated, smiling at the girl in front of me.

“If we get ready and leave now, we could still make that reservation. Make it our first date?”

That’s how we end up hand in hand, waiting to be seated. The satin gown hugs me perfectly and compliments Zecira’s sage green dress.

“I’m really sorry for bursting up on you. Especially on the pitch.”

“I deserved it.”

“No you didn’t. Maybe you should’ve told me in advance but it didn’t warrant that reaction.”

“I should’ve spoken to you about what was going on.”

“Kiss me and we call it even?” her hair falls around our faces as she leans down to kiss me. It’s gentle and sweet and tastes like her vanilla lip gloss. Life feels good when you’re in love with your best friend.

#woso x reader #woso #womens soccer #wsl #woso fanfics #chelsea fcw #zecira musovic #zecira musovic x reader #cfcw #meme girls

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lowkeyrobin · 2 months

Note

MCYT with a reader who would literally get into a fist fight for them?? Literally, if someone even looks at them wrong reader will throw hands. It's literally that meme (Random person) "GET YO FUCKING DOG BITCH" (MCYT) "it don't bite" "YES IT FUCKIN DO-" I'm sorry I'm feeling silly 😔

OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE THIS PROMPT AND THE REFERENCE TO THIS MEME LMFAOOO OH MY LORD BSHWJRHEJJAJW ; very vine oriented so I apologize. you threw me into a loop referencing that

MCYT ; "anytime, anywhere, I'd beat a bitches ass for you"

includes ; tommyinnit, tubbo, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, slimecicle, quackity, & foolish gamers

warnings ; language, talk of blood/injuries, physical fighting, vine cringe because I got very carried away and you can tell

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

he was one of those kids in high school that made light offensive jokes but would never fight anyone over anything, he's not a violent person at all other than in his jokes

but God forbid some random person look at you two weird in public, you're on their ass

you're more offended that they were judging Tommy at all, you couldn't care that they were judging you

"sorry, do you have a problem?" You squint your eyes at the person, "me and my boyfriend are just trying to shop and you keep following us around and staring, like, can I help you?"

just a teenage Karen

yall do take it outside when the motherfucker follows you out and begins to record you

you beat this fuckers ass to a PULP

Tommy's just holding the few bags of stuff you'd purchased staring down, jaw on the fucking floor like "Oh my God wtf do I do"

he had the vlog camera on so he kinda got it all on video before he pulled you away from the person

yall sprinted the hell away bc the security guards were running towards yall 😭😭

#neveridentified

#the person admitted guilt anyways and said they were planning to hurt you so no point in trying to track yall down for self defense

#i barely know the law shush

TUBBO

he physically has to hold you back from fighting people

"y/n, it's fine. they just want a reaction"

"let me beat them up!"

the other person's like "yo wtf is wrong with you????"

"sorry, my partner acts like a hostile animal when people piss them off, sorry"

he appreciates you defending him though, he does like using you as a weapon because he thinks it's funny

I mean at least you guys don't have to worry about getting kidnapped or anything because you'll be there to kick the motherfuckers ass

"GET YO FUCKING DOG BITCH"

"Oh they don't bite, it's okay 🥰"

"YES THEY FUCKIN DO HELP"

RANBOO

they just kind of accepted that you were like this

"I do not endorse violence unless you are y/n. I can't make them un-violent. I have tried, they're a vicious guard dog now"

hurricane Katrina? more like hurricane tortilla when you enter the building

yk the free style dance teacher vine? that'll be ranboo out in public and someone will stare at them all weird and you'll glare back

"walk away, walk away" you mumble, watching the person hurrily walk away as they see you like glaring daggers into their skull

your dynamic is the one vine that's like "Oh can I have a sip of your water?" and "It's not water or vodka, it's vinegar" "bitch what"

then you'll go make angsty edge lord posts to the one bojack horseman audio "I'm not a violent dog" and insert a clip of you beating the shit out of someone in high school

FREDDIE BADLINU

you post the "look at all those chickens" vine on your Twitter everytime you see a hate comment made for one of you

you love instigating fights w people online it's the funniest fucking thing

if you don't know how to reply to some dumbass edgelord response you'll just spam the guacamole vine until they shut up

"wait, why does y/n have so many soaps?"

"MIND YOUR FUCKIN BUISNESS DAVID"

Freddie's response to your violence is usually the saxophone seal vine. he genuinely laughs everytime he sees you fighting w someone online

sometimes you'll stream it while you wait for a response and while you're fighting online trolls who've been brainwashed by Twitter

"You're gay?!?!?!?11??11"

insert the "ms keisha dead" vine and the battle is over idk what to say

fight fire with fire I guess

NIKI NIHACHU

she hates yet loves that you'd fight ppl for her

oh, someone treated her wrong? you'll be trending on Twitter for fighting the person

#y/u/n will literally be at number 1 for a week

people edit the fight too

she appreciates it though, even though she doesn't exactly like to promote violence, she'll accept it from you

"Oh, don't worry about them, they're just a little... nervous around people sometimes"

"nervous? girl that mf is SNARLING at me"

you'll see a post that's like "me when someone tries to start shit w my s/o" and reply with the "hahaha I do that" vine

when I tell you she CACKLES reading online fights with people 😭🙏

CHARLIE SLIMECICLE

"get the F off my yard!" proceeds to have to drag you away from situations where someone's actin a little funny in a /neg way

he genuinely thinks you fighting people for him is funny

he'll tell the stories on stream and to his friends like "dude they fucked this guy up, I honestly feel bad for laughing"

honestly most the time it's people victimizing themselves

like that one meme where the lady very obviously and fakely falls over that bench on LIVE TELEVISION.

he's your biggest supporter

he's the old guy from that one vine of the kid singing "Oh wait a minute mister postman" and he does the whole ass high note

"here's y/n fighting someone for idk what because they're talking to the police 😋"

you're a problem at this point

QUACKITY

you've physically fought so many wild racists for him it's crazy

he'll gladly cheer you on

"AHHHH COME GET YO DOG BRO HELP"

"Oh it don't bite"

you proceed to bite the bitch

online fights are usually responded w the purple teletubby twerking meme

"L don't be a weak ass racist pussy next time"

you fight Logan Paul for some reason??? Twitter drama mostly

don't worry quackitys there to watch

17-3 don't worry... ehehehrhahahha

when he tells you that you need to stop instigating fights you send him the "They ask you how you are but you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine" meme BAHDNHAHA

FOOLISH GAMERS

"YOU KNOW WHAT DUDE? IM OUTTA HERE" vine in a nutshell with you two. I can't explain this but it makes sense I swear

"whatd you do to your eyebrows?" meme except its "Whyd you fight that person!?" "I don't really know!"

Twitter fights are like "and they were roommates!" "ohmygodtheywereroomates" I swear to fucking god

you love instigating shit with Twitter trolls

when you stand up for him/reply to edgelord haters for him he replies with the "country boy I love youuuuuuu" vine

"GIVE ME YOUR FUCKIN MONEY!" vine with the law and order intro is literallt how physical fights go

let's just say some stalker edgelords tracked you guys down at the streamer awards...

HE AND PUNZ GENUINLEY CHEER YOU ON

here you go trending on Twitter again

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt x reader #mcyt preferences #mcyt oneshot #tommyinnit x reader #quackity x reader #ranboo x reader #badlinu x reader #tubbo x reader #freddie badlinu x reader #niki nihachu x reader #nihachu x reader #foolish gamers x reader #charlie slimecicle x reader #slimecicle x reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader

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forduary · 3 months

Text

Forduary 2024 is almost upon us!

And this year, it shall run from February 1 - March 11!

And now, the themes/prompts!

~The Life of Stanford "Grunkle Ford" Pines~

Week 1 - Childhood and School years (Everything up to college) Week 2 - College and Researcher years (Everything from college up to his entrance into the multiverse) Week 3 - Portal Years (Everything from his time in the multiverse) Week 4 - Return to Gravity Falls and beyond (Everything from the moment he returned to Gravity Falls and into the future)

More info under the cut:

Since time got away on us older mods and we've been otherwise occupied we decided to head straight into announcing themes for this year. We apologize for not running a poll but we've recruited extra help and will aim to be better in the future!

That said, the available mod positions have been filled! Thanks again to everyone who volunteered and to our two new mods!

For this year's themes/prompts, pick anything you'd like to represent those times in his life - multiple things if you want!

As usual, they are merely here to help you create so feel free to ignore them and do your own thing if you have other ideas! Also, time is an illusion so no worries on sticking to the schedule too strictly. Anything tagged with Forduary and posted during the event, as long as it features him and meets the guidelines (see below), will be reblogged. And also as usual, if we haven't reblogged one of your creations within 24 hours, please let us know so we can share it!

As for the above mentioned guidelines:

All forms of media are accepted. Comics, memes, fics, art, videos, etc.

Please keep your creations at around a PG-13-ish rating. Basically nothing too extreme in gore, violence, or NSFW content.

Ships are fine but please steer them away from in/cest and adult/minor content. Also, since it has been a source of turmoil in the fandom and this is meant to be a fun space, we won't be reblogging Bill/ford content.

Now, go forth and create! And check out @stanuary if you haven't already! Art by @fexiled (sketch and planning) and @rum-and-shattered-dreams (line art and colors)

#forduary #forduary2024 #stanford pines #gravity falls #ford pines #grunkle ford #forduary themes 2024 #forduary prompts 2024 #prompts #themes

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tealfloyd · 1 year

Note

Not sure if you're taking requests. But I have a strong weakness for these prompts where the mc changes for each dorm. So I gotta ask for something similar. For the each non human characters, the MC changes to their animal counterpart. Like for Azul, MC is stuck as an octopus or for Ruggie they're a hyena.

Love these prompts and you write them really well!

A ZOO-OTIC DAY

"MC's part of the exhibitions now~"

SUMMARY: MC collides with a student, accidentally touching one of his potions, unbeknownst of the troubling effects that this would cause. (Savanaclaw, Octavinelle and Malleus x Fem!Reader).

WARNINGS: MC almost dies in Octavinelle part due to her being an eel out of water. Stressing and a crying bit (while being a dragon) in Diasomnia's part.

CONTENT: Am I pampering Malleus? Yes, I am. MC transforms into a lioness, a hyena, a wolf, an octopus, an eel and a dragon, in that order. Only these seven because they're the only ones that classify as non-human that have animal counterparts. Imagine MC's dragon form as Light Fury (How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World) because I saw a meme of Malleus doing the Toothless's mating dance and I never let it go. WORDS: 4K+

A/N: Hello dear anon~! Thank you for the compliment, I'm very happy you liked my writings!

This was a fun request! But it's more of a short story (that I'm not very proud of-) than reactions since it was easier to write; I still hope you like it though!

The plot isn't that good, but I swear that I tried my best to make this work- And I may have arranged some things to conveniently help the plot, but in my defence... It's a magical world.

Now onto the fic~

Ah, Night Raven College. One of the most prestigious magic academies for young boys and a magicless girl, overflowing with talent and... Disaster.

But this time it wasn’t caused by our main cast, no, no, no. This time it was made by a clueless student that was passing by.

You were walking down the hallway, alone and distracted, heading to Savanaclaw by petition of Jack, when all of the sudden, you collided with someone, the crash sounding like it came out of a cartoon.

“Ouch!” You both exclaimed in pain, falling to the floor which was covered with papers and some potions.

“I’m sorry, I—" He stopped as he looked at you, realising who he just crashed with. “By the Sevens. I’m very sorry, Prefect!” He made an apologetic bow, positioning himself so it would be more respectful.

“Please, there’s no need. It was an accident," you said, chuckling slightly at his politeness. “I crashed with you too, so please forgive me," you also made a bow, helping him with all the work that was scattered on the floor. “Let me help you with this, is the least I can do."

The boy blushed at that, shyly evading your gaze. “Thank you, Prefect," he muttered, lifting some of the bottles.

“There you go," you passed him the now neatly organised carpets, making sure he was able to hold everything. “Want me to help you carry these?”

He shook his head, thinking about the reactions of your scary and powerful friends if they found you were passing your time helping him, and what’s worse, that you collided with him. “It’s okay, I can do it," he didn’t dare to look at you, making a quick bow while apologising, again, hurriedly leaving.

“Well, that was strange…” You muttered, also leaving so you could be in time for your appointment with the beastman, feeling a ticklish sensation on your hand, absentmindedly scratching it.

It was then when the student noted that one of the test tubes was empty, inspecting it to see if there were remains of the potion. “Where did it…” He looked at you, seeing you scratching your hand before rounding the corner. “Oh no."

SAVANACLAW — LIVING ROOM

“Sevens, who cleaned that floor?” You uttered, still scratching your hand while walking towards the main building.

You sat on the sofa while texting Jack that you arrived, waiting for him patiently until you heard a familiar, cheeky voice.

“Well, if it isn’t the Prefect," exclaimed Ruggie, walking closer to you. “What brings you here?”

“Oh— Hi, Ruggie," you greeted him, earning one of his characteristics laughs in return. “I'm waiting for Jack."

Your response caught him off guard, looking confused. “Jack? Why Jack?”

“We're going to the library since we're working on a project together," you said, a little taken aback by the sudden question.

“So, it's just a group project then," he muttered, looking more relieved.

“Ah, MC," said Jack, lifting an eyebrow at the scene. “And Ruggie."

A third voice added himself into the conversation, coming from a grumpy lion beastman, groggily walking to the living room. “I see you’re here, herbivore."

“Ah, yes. I’m sorry if I disturbed you," you bowed slightly. “Maybe Jack and I should go so you can continue, uh— Napping?”

This is certainly not what Leona nor Ruggie were expecting, but Jack wasn’t complaining, happy that he was going to spend some time with you.

“You are right, we can finish at the end of the afternoon if we start now," he said, ready to walk out of the lounge when his dorm leader noticed something.

“What happened to your hand?”

“Ah, this?" You looked at your hand. "It’s nothing, it's just a scratch from when I fell on my way here," you responded, brushing it off.

“You fell on your way here?” Ruggie questioned.

“It was nothing, the floor was a bit slippery, that’s all." You were starting to become nervous, not wanting to talk about the earlier incident to cover up for the innocent student.

“Let me see it," said Leona, approaching so he could inspect your hand.

“It’s nothing, really," you didn’t argue when he lifted it up, seeing the red spot and the redness because of all the scratching.

“You really are careless," he muttered, moving to get a better angle, accidentally touching your skin with his forearm.

At that moment, everything went black for you for a few seconds, a veil of smoke covering your form.

“MC?!” The three screamed in panic, trying to dissipate the fog so they could check if you were okay.

You were okay, but not human MC okay, more like lioness MC okay.

“A lioness…?” Jack muttered, dumfounded.

“Did MC just transform into a lioness…?" Continued Ruggie, sharing the same expression as his underclassman.

All of them were panicking, but Leona was the only one who was calmer (on the outside, inside, he's panicking just as much as them) than his dorm members.

He crouched to be at eye level with you, deeply exhaling before speaking. “MC, what did you touch?”

You tried to respond, alarmed because the only sound you could make was roars.

“Hey, it’s okay. We can understand you, just keep talking," encouraged Ruggie, also crouching down.

You tried to communicate, hoping that it was enough for them to understand.

“’Maybe I touched a potion by accident’?” Jack remarked, which you nodded, glad that he understood. “At class?”

“’I don’t think so…’” Ruggie said, confused. “What do you mean you don’t think so?”

“’I think I touched a student’s potion by accident when I crashed onto him earlier’” Leona repeated, annoyance showing in his voice. “And why didn't you tell us?”

You went serious for a moment, giving them the look before saying that you didn't want them to go after him, to which they only scoffed, knowing very well that what you were saying was true.

“We have to find a way to get her back to normal," Jack said, starting to brainstorm ideas to solve this problem.

Ruggie checked your paw, which still had the red dot, and the moment he did the smoke appeared again, converting you into a hyena.

“What did you do?!” Asked Jack, concern washing over his voice.

“Nothing! I just touched her paw!” Ruggie defended himself, also concerned.

“You shouldn’t have touched her paw in the first place!” Leona bickered.

Sighing, you sat down, frustrated that you always seem to be stuck in this type of situations, thinking about who to ask that could solve this, all while watching the beastmen fighting over who was to blame for.

‘Are you done?’ You asked, completely serious, doing what you could to raise an eyebrow.

They immediately stopped arguing, understanding that that wouldn't help you transform into a human again.

“We should tell a professor about this," Jack suggested, gaining three collective sighs from you and their upperclassmen.

“Have you forgot?”

“They are not coming back until tomorrow morning.”

‘They are in a meeting with the Royal Sword Academy teachers,' you finally said, making the boy blush in embarrassment.

“We need to look for someone who knows how to revert this…” Ruggie commented, trying to think of someone aside from the teachers who could help you.

“What about Vil? Pomefiore is known for their potion making skills," proposed Jack, and you shook your head.

‘He’s out for the day. He told me he will be doing an important photoshoot; so even if we call him is likely he wouldn’t not answer.'

“Great, the beauty freak is out, and the teachers are in a meeting. What next?”.

‘I think that Azul may know how to fix this,' you said, making Leona grunt in denial.

‘We have to go to the Mostro Lounge.'

He clicked his tongue, deciding that it was wiser to not say anything, instead helping you walk with your new legs.

Due to the trembling, all you could do was wiggle, accidentally resting your paw on Jack’s forearm, transforming into a wolf, falling back because of the shock.

“Jack!” They both exclaimed, making said boy retrieve your new paw from his forearm as if it would poison you.

‘It’s okay. It’s not like it can get any worse, so let’s leave it like that,' you calmed them down, trying to shift your weight from one leg to the other, maintaining a steady balance as you exited Savanaclaw.

OCTAVINELLE — MOSTRO LOUNGE

You three arrived at Octavinelle with a painfully slow pace, trying to help you the best they could without touching your paw.

“We’re finally here," said Ruggie, exhaling in relief upon seeing the establishment’s sign.

‘Guys, I don’t want to seem exasperated, but can you just push that door?’ You asked, and Jack complied, letting you four enter to the restaurant.

You were wary, hiding behind the three beastmen before Azul and Jade conveniently appeared.

”My, if it isn't our Savanaclaw acquaintances," proclaimed the dorm leader. "What can I do for you?"

"We have a huge problem right here," said Ruggie, already annoyed by their attitude.

“Oh? And are you here to ask for our help?” Jade asked, smile growing wider.

“The problem… Has to be with MC," Jack said, still covering your form along with Leona so they would have time to explain.

Their faces fell at that, turning serious upon listening that their friend love interest was having a problem.

“Is the Prefect in danger?” Asked Azul, fixing his glasses, trying to mask his concern with politeness.

“They're not, but they’re different now," commented Leona.

“Different... You say?” Inquired Jade, sincerely not knowing what they were talking about.

They moved aside to reveal you, still in your wolf form, looking at them intently.

“And the problem involves this wolf?” Questioned Jade, while Azul backed away slightly out of fear.

“The wolf is MC," they finally said, making the Octavinelle students widen their eyes, not believing them.

“Are you telling me that the Prefect… Transformed into a wolf…?” Azul glasses nearly fall from the shock, fortunately pushing them back in time.

“First into a lioness, then a hyena and finally a wolf," Leona added. “Think you can solve this?"

“I’m afraid I will need more information…” He managed to let out, intending to say that he needed time to process this.

“MC, is this really you?” Asked Jade, crouching down to match your height, looking at your eyes.

‘Unfortunately, I am MC,' you answered, thinking that if he asked, he could understand you, which he did.

“My, how did you end up in this situation…?”

“They crashed with a student who had a potion that caused this," Leona answered, already done with all the questions. “Can you help her or not?”

Azul cleared his throat before speaking, finally regaining his (well, most of it) composure, bending down in front of you. “I need to see how the potion works; did you say she transformed into a lioness, a hyena and a wolf?”

“Yes, the moment we touched her hand, er— Paw, she transformed," said Jack, inspecting their intentions.

“I never saw a potion that does this… Have you tried talking to Vil?”

‘He’s in a photoshoot right now.'

“I see…” Azul stopped for a second, thinking until something clicked on his mind. “May I see the paw you all touched?”

‘It’s this one. What do you think about it?’

“It left a mark," said Jade, trying to think of substances that could have caused it. “I think her skin didn’t react the way it was intended to."

“MC, can I touch your paw?” Azul asked, wanting to confirm a hypothesis.

‘Sure, if it’s going to help,' you passed your paw to him, and he removed his glove, hesitantly grazing his finger over the red spot.

Two seconds after the action, a smoke covered you again, revealing that your wolf form changed into an octopus’s one, and at that precise moment Floyd entered the café, not really noticing you at first because of his height.

“Huh?” He looked at the three Savanaclaw students, smile growing wider. “What are the Savanaclaw fishies doing here~?”

“Floyd, you may want to see this," said his twin brother, and he looked down to find what he thought was a cute octopus.

“Oh?” He let out a surprise noise, replacing it with giggles. “Where did this octopus come from~? Hey Azul, can I cook it~?”

You silently screamed. 'Please don’t Floyd, I assure you I’m not tasty,' you exclaimed, backing away from him the best you could.

“Huh? How do you know my name, little octopus~?” He crouched closer to you, scaring you even more.

“It’s because it’s the Prefect,” Azul finally said, finally standing up after seeing what the potion did, putting his glove on.

“Eh?” Floyd’s brain paused for a second before realising what he just said, now yelling. “Eh?! Shrimpy?!”

‘Yes Floyd, I’m MC, now, can you please not eat me?’ You were relieved he believed his house warden, trying to use your tentacles to move with futile results.

“Wah! How did you end up as an octopus?!” He started to touch your head, curious of how you did this.

“It seems that the potion makes her transform into each animal of the non-humans she touches," stated Azul, sighing before saying the next sentence. “Unfortunately, this is advanced alchemy; we can't make her touch or drink something else without guaranteeing it would affect her permanently."

“So, you can’t bring her back to normal," summarized Ruggie, frustrated at the outcome. “Then what should we do?”

“First, we have to stop touching her hand— Well, tentacles, to not cause further damage—“ He was cut off by the smoke indicating that someone had touched you, knowing at the exact moment who did it. “Floyd…”

“Sorry~” He apologised, looking down at your new form, noticing which animal was just a second after. “Oh! Shrimpy transformed into an eel!”

You squirmed on the floor, trying to breathe, hoping they would get that if you weren’t on water right now you would die.

“Aren’t eels supposed to be… In the water?” Ruggie pointed out, making all of them instantly panic.

“OH SHIT!” Floyd rushed over to the tank, hurriedly opening it so Azul and Jade could drop you into it, deeply exhaling after making you almost die.

“Why did you have to touch her?!” Azul scolded, trying to control his breathing after the whole experience.

“I didn’t know that she would transform! You never tell me anything!” He defended himself, although he had to admit that he felt a bit guilty.

“There is no time to fight over this," said Jade, trying to calm them down for once. “We still have to find a way to get the Prefect back to normal."

“Eh~? But Shrimpy’s very cute as an eel~” Floyd whined, not really understanding the gravity of the situation.

“Floyd, do you understand that if she stays like an eel she wouldn’t pet your hair?” That sole phrase was enough for him to change his mind-set.

“We have to find a way to get Shrimpy back to normal!”

“And how do we do that? The teachers are in a meeting, Vil’s out and there’s no guarantee she wouldn’t stay like this forever," said Jack, making everyone think about how it would be their life without you in it.

‘I think that there’s only one option,' you started to talk, confused for your new way of breathing. ‘We have to go to Diasomnia.'

“Do you mean… Asking Malleus for help?” Asked Jade, which you nodded your head.

‘I think he is the only one that can truly help me go back to normal,' you said, kind of enjoying swimming with a tailfin.

“So, we have to go to the lizard for help then…” Leona mumbled, and although it would seem like he didn’t share the idea, he actually thought it was the best one so far.

“We need to transport MC for that…” Azul thought about it for a moment, asking the tweels for help. “I think you would fit here… Mostly, at least."

And then, after somehow fitting in the medium fish tank, you all walked over to Diasomnia, hoping that the dragon-fae would aid you.

DIASOMNIA — GARDEN

“Prefect? Are you okay in there?” Asked Azul, checking that you were comfortable with the fish tank they fitted you in.

‘I’m okay, but I’m more concerned about them’,'you answered, talking about the four men that were lifting you to keep you from falling.

“I assure you they’re fine, that’s what their muscles are for anyway," he said, looking for Malleus in the garden.

“Don’t speak on our behalf," Jack complained, steading himself after almost tripping.

‘Oh, he’s there,' you tried to point with your nose, or your tailfin… You pointed to the man who was calmly reading, his frame making it easier for all of the men to spot him.

Azul went first, deciding that he was the most befitting out of you all to explain the situation, trying to not enrage him since he knew about his feelings for you.

“Malleus," he said, attracting the attention the fae, who looked away from his book to look at him.

“Ashengrotto, what brings you here?” He asked, closing his book so he could listen to what he had to say.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you, but we require your help," he signalled the others behind him, and raised a brow at the container, thinking that it was something humans tend to do, which is not, but is not like he knows about it. “You see; the Prefect has been engaged in… Quite a situation."

His face showed concern, but not enough that it would cause a storm, intently waiting for Azul’s explanation.

“She touched a potion that makes her change into different animals depending on who touches her, so she’s currently…” He pointed at you, sighing. “An eel."

“I… Don’t quite get it," he finally said, looking at your sea form as he processed the new information.

‘Hello, Tsunotarou,' you said, impressed that he widened his eyes at that, an indicator that he understood what you’ve just said. ‘As Azul said, I’m a moray eel now.'

“Child of Man…?” He hesitantly asked, inspecting you. “What happened?”

‘I accidentally touched a potion that makes me change to different animals, or something like that,' you also didn’t get your position, but tried to explain it nonetheless. ‘Can you help me go back to normal?’

“I…” This was one of the few times Malleus was too stunned to speak, at least in front of you, seemingly thinking about what he could do to help. “Of course, I may have a potion that could fix this."

“You do?!” All of you screamed at once, happy that this was going to end soon.

You jumped in excitement, going a bit too far as you unintentionally came out of water, tailfin (which had the now unique red spot on it) touching Malleus hand due to his proximity.

You didn’t notice until it was too late, knowing that the change was about to happen once you felt the sensation of the transformation, jumping out of water in a panic, not wanting to hurt them since you knew you were going to transform into a dragon next.

And you did; vision fogging for a few seconds until you saw that you were now huge compared to your friends, trying to control your tail and wings, that were fluttering because of the shock.

“MC!” They all screamed, concerned because you seemed very stressed, thinking of what to do to help you.

“Back away," Malleus said, which they complied, trusting his ability. “You have to search the potion in my room; it has an emerald tone and it’s situated on my library," he gave them the instructions to get to his room, not really caring about who was going for it, instead focusing on you.

You were pretty stressed; being transformed into a normal animal was one thing. It was something that could happen any day in alchemy class with Ace, Deuce and Grim, but this was nothing like that.

Maybe it was the fact that for you, dragons were considered mythical until you arrived here, or the feeling that you were going to stay like this forever. Whatever ended up being, you felt the lingering sensation to cry, panic building inside of you.

Your tears were streaming down your new face when you felt something warm nuzzling against your head. You blinked your tears away to try and identify it, eyes connecting with very familiar green eyes, which belonged to another dragon.

‘Malleus…?’ You asked, and he nodded his head, shifting closer to you. ‘Is this… Your dragon form…?’ It was a stupid question, and you knew it, but your over-stressed brain didn’t really think about it before speaking at that time.

Still, he didn’t seem to mind, chuckling lightly. ‘Indeed. Do you not like it?’ He inquired, and although it sounded like a teasing remark, he was scared that this impulsive action may cause you to back away from him due to his "monstrous" form.

He was, by all means, incorrect. ‘No, I think it’s cute…' You managed to say, his presence calming you down.

‘Cute?’ He asked, setting his head on top of yours, covering your wings with his own in order to calm you down.

‘Ah, sorry, was I not supposed to say that…?’ You were starting to panic again, thinking that you did something wrong, leading Malleus to apply more force to keep you from exasperating again.

‘I think that cute it’s not what most people think when looking at a dragon,' he nudged his head into yours, sitting down so you could lean on him, relieved that you seemed more at peace.

‘Yeah, maybe you’re right…’ You accommodated your legs into a more comfortable position, letting your head rest on the crook of his neck.

His sole presence made you calm down to the point where you fell asleep, light snores being the only sound that came out of your mouth, along with a little bit of smoke.

While all of this ensued, the students on the ground wondered what the hell just happened, and since the school doesn't really teach 'dragon language', the only thing they saw was the two of you roaring and grunting at each other, utterly confused by this.

“Does anyone know how to speak dragon?” Asked Ruggie.

“Are they even talking?” Commented Leona.

“I can’t believe all of this happened in the span of one afternoon," complained Azul.

“Isn’t Sea Slug like, very close to Shrimpy?” Whined Floyd.

“Is that what you think after this?” Jade said, thinking about what his twin just exclaimed. “Although they sure are a bit too close…”

When Jack finally arrived with the potion, Malleus had to lift your paw due to the immense force that it would require for them to do it, lulling you to sleep when you showed signs of waking up.

After it was done, they had to wait for around fifteen seconds until it made effect, a veil of white smoke appearing for the last time combined with Malleus's green one, revealing the two of you leaning against each other, clothes slightly damaged due to the transformation.

You were so tired that you didn’t woke up even after they argued over who should carry you over to Ramshackle; Malleus ended up winning the fight since he could teleport, treating you as if you were a feather, setting you down softly on your bed.

He decided that it would be better if he stayed in the living room, afraid of what could happen if he left you alone after such a wild experience.

The day after the whole situation, you went to classes like normal, having to endure so many questions coming from your friends since people were talking about how you transformed into different animals, clearly thinking they missed a key adventure.

You said that it was a long story, and it certainly was.

THE END~

DON'T REPOST.

EVERY CHARACTER BELONGS TO DISNEY AND YANA TOBOSO AND I DON'T TAKE CREDIT FOR THEM.

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #jack howl x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #jade leech x reader #floyd leech x reader #malleus draconia x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #mc/yuu #mc twisted wonderland

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yasmindifference · 9 months

Note

IMMEDIATELY asking for jason’s pov of the fake dating fic for the prompt meme. literally first and only thing that popped in my mind. i don’t have a specific scene in mind, any you want would be amazing

oh and i forgot to say happy belated birthday!! you don’t have to reply to this separately lmao

Thank you very much! I've always kind of wanted to write Jason's POV of the hickey scene in chapter two, so I hope you enjoy ♡♡

It probably made Jason a bad person, but how could he resist the opportunity when it was right there?

“You might not’ve noticed, but I’m a possessive kinda guy,” he said in extreme understatement. “When I own something—or someone—I make damn sure everyone knows. You need more than this if you’re gonna be mine.”

It was a lie. A shameless, shameless lie.

Was Jason the kinda guy who marked up his partners as much and as often as they’d allow? Yes.

Was there a single solitary person in Crime Alley who was gonna look at Red Hood’s boyfriend long enough to even realize he had hickies, let alone count them? Absolutely fucking not.

So it was a lie, and Jason knew it. Knew that Tim would be lucky to get eye contact as long as he was undercover, because nobody would want to be the moron caught staring at Red Hood’s boyfriend. Jason had never dated anyone as his crime lord persona before, so they wouldn’t know what kinda punishment he’d lay down for staring…but he was sure they could imagine, and it would keep all of their gazes firmly averted.

But the excuse was right there—right there like the hickies he’d left before, scattered across Tim’s neck and just begging to be joined by some friends—and who was Jason to ignore it?

Tim hadn’t answered. Jason felt like that was a good sign; better hesitation than an immediate ‘no.’

“So?” he asked. He couldn’t resist the urge to apply a little pressure to the mark below his thumb, treasuring the way Tim’s pulse jumped in response. “More, yes or no?”

Tim’s pulse evened out immediately, and not in a natural way. No, that was Tim applying Batman’s lessons in controlling his heartbeat. That was Tim needing to control his heartbeat, because Jason was absolutely getting to him.

“Sure,” Tim said casually. “Knock yourself out.”

“Great,” Jason said, matching Tim’s casual tone. Not easy, when the jealous, possessive thing in his chest was nearly purring in satisfaction. He’d had so much fun marking Tim up the first time and couldn’t wait to do it again.

…But half the fun was flustering Tim, and Jason was pretty sure Tim had a strength kink. (It would explain his baffling and infuriating affair with the super clone, for one, and also Jason was like seventy-five percent sure Tim had checked him out the last time he took advantage of the Batcave’s weights.)

So he took the excuse of their height difference to lift Tim right off his feet and put him on the kitchen island. Without asking. With no visible effort. (No effort required, it’d be so fucking easy to just pin Tim to the wall and hold him there while Jason fucked him—)

Tim was blushing. Fuck yes.

He also wasn’t asking why Jason had done that, which was an even better sign, Jason thought. Still, for the sake of appearances—

“You’re too short,” he offered in explanation. Tim didn’t so much as roll his eyes; another good sign.

He wanted to keep teasing Tim, see if he could get that faint blush darker and more obvious, but the other half of the plan called. They had a date to go on.

So he stepped up between Tim’s splayed legs and gripped his hips, yanked him to the edge of the island, and went to town.

Tim’s skin was soft beneath his lips. His shirt rubbed distractingly against Jason’s chest. And the quiet, hitching breaths he kept taking were driving Jason out of his goddamned mind.

He was obviously trying so hard to stay cool, to play it unaffected like he wasn’t bothered all by Jason’s attention, and he was failing. Calm, cold, unflappable Tim was being really fucking flapped by Jason giving him a few hickies.

It was hot as fuck—and, more importantly, it gave Jason hope. Hope that this plan might actually work after all. That he might walk away from this not only with his traitors dealt with, but with Tim finally being his as a bonus.

And if not…well, at least he’d have this memory: Tim’s stifled moans, the taste of his sweat, and his visible struggle not to arch up into Jason’s touch.

It wasn’t everything Jason wanted, but it was a damn good start.

#jaytim #yasminfic #prompt response #eidoloony

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scekrex · 2 months

Note

You know who it is, it's ya boy! 🕺

So. Obviously a crack fic, if anyone is wondering - no, I don't smoke pot, I'm just very stupid with dumb, but creative ideas, about Adam, Lute and the reader having a mission given to them from Sera, we're they have to got to the Earth in their human disguises (Of course Adam is just Adam without the mask and brown eyes, because Alex Brightman, fuck yeah) to do some business with some of the governments. What they didn't think of is the fact that when they got their human disguises, they also came with human traits, like being able to get absolutely hammered. Like for angels it would take a lot of alcohol (I'm looking at you Castiel when you drank a whole ass liquor store) to get drunk, but humans have a weaker immune system when it comes to percentages. So Adam the drunkest of them all getting the amazing idea of stealing a shopping cart, a little less drunk reader agreeing and them running off before Lute could stop them, Adam in the cart, reader pushing. In the end they accidentally drove off the sidewalk and launched themselves into the damn brook. Lute panicked before they emerged, laughing their asses off, Adam just started to glide his hands over his clothes as if he wanted to hand wash them. Here cue the meme:

-I'M WASHING ME AND MY CLOTHES

-He's drunk as fuck

-Biiitch, I'm washing me and my clothes 😌

With the "I'm washing me and my clothes" being Adam, "He's drunk as fuck" being Lute and the reader just floating in the water next to Adam wondering what the hell he was doing before catching the vibe and doing the same. Now imagine Sera just wanting to check on them and their progress through that orb in Heaven like during "You didn't know" 😂 Miss girl would face plam so hard her big ass lashes would fly off her face 😂😂😂

Bro. Bro I adore you and I adore your fucking crack prompts, they're my new favorite thing to write. So here ya go babes

Drunk 'n' Nasty

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, use of alcohol, yet another crack fic

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

Lute grabbed your wrist and pulled you away from the bar entrance, Adam had already been grabbed by his shirt to keep him from entering the building. “No, Sera explicitly said that we need to get this over with as fast as possible,” the lieutenant spoke in a firm voice as she dragged both you and your husband away from the pub, “So we will finish the job and then straight up head back to heaven.”

You pounded at her, “You’re no fun, c’mon Lute just let us have one drink, in and out in no time.” But the exorcist shook her head and stood her ground, “No. One drink will lead to two and two drinks will lead to you and Adam getting completely wasted.” Adam wiggled out of her grip and slapped the hand she had wrapped around your wrist. Yes, Sera had given you orders, but where was the fun in having human disguises if you weren't able to enjoy the night on earth?

“Oh fucking quit it, danger tits, we all know it will end like that either way,” Adam groaned and rolled his eyes, “Loosen up, bitch.” Lute side eyed the first man critically but eventually gave in with a sigh. She wordlessly stepped aside so the two of you were able to enter the crowded bar and Adam dragged you inside before Lute was able to change her mind again. “Let’s fucking go,” the brunette cheered and sat down at the counter. He patted his thigh as his now brown eyes caught yours, “C’mere babes.” That he didn't need to tell you twice, you closed the small gab that was left between the two of you and sat down on his thigh as the first man ordered two shots of whiskey for the both of you, he knew Lute wouldn't drink, she appeared to be quite tense ever since the three of you had arrived on earth.

Once the drinks were put down in front of you, you immediately reached for the tiny shot glass and downed it in one go by tilting your head back, Adam's eyes were locked on your throat as he was able to see how you swallowed the liquid, a nasty grin appeared on his lips as he leaned in a little closer to you, “Fuck, how often will I get that view tonight?” “Depends,” you grinned back at him, the pleasant yet unusual burn of alcohol made you shiver slightly, “How often do ya wanna see it, pretty boy?” Adam leaned in even closer until his lips brushed softly against your ear and his hot breath hit your face, “I don't think I will ever get enough of it.” And with that he downed his own shot just to slam the empty glass on the counter and ask the bartender for another round.

“Sir,” Lute had managed to get through the crowd somehow and was now standing behind you, “That was your one shot, we'll leave now.” Adam looked at you, it was so weird to see the first man with dark brown eyes instead of bright golden ones, but it was something you could get used to, they seemed honest, not that his golden eyes were serving you lies but the brown orbs just felt different, more personal. “Lute, do us a fucking favor and find some dude who will pull that massive fucking stick outta your ass so we can enjoy ourselves for a little while,” your husband shared his opinion on Lute's behavior towards the both of you, then he turned around again to focus on the drinks on the counter. The first man raised his glass, you did the same and in union you purred, “To us.” Another shot was swallowed and you slowly felt your cheeks heating up because of the alcohol. Oh how you had missed the burning liquor.

“I will regret this,” Lute grumbled as the exorcist sat down on the stool next to you. Your eyes beamed at her and you were quick to order three cocktails, visibly happy that she had decided to join you. “Just because I'm sitting down doesn't mean I will drink with you, it's enough of a burden that you two are,” she hissed and eyed the neon pink drink suspiciously as it was placed in front of her. “Don’t be such a princess, it's just one drink,” Adam commented and pushed the pretty looking drink a little closer to Lute. She however, simply passed it to some chick that was passing by. And that was the moment you chose to ignore the woman for the rest of the evening. If she was fine with staying sober and doing as stupid fucking Sera said, so be it, you and Adam however had other plans.

It didn't really take long for the alcohol to actually punch you two in the face though, heaven offered no such things as alcohol, weed, crack or nicotine so the tolerance bar for Adam and you was basically on the floor. And that was probably part of the reason why the two of you had one hell of a blast running away from Lute.

And then Adam spotted the supermarket that wasn't too far away from the pub so he made quick work of picking you up bridal style and then he was on his way to investigate whatever it was that was going on there. “What now, big guy, are we taking off together? Away from stick-in-the-ass-Lute and go-fuck-yourself-Sera?” you chuckled as the brunette continued to carry you over to the empty parking lot. “Damn fucking right, babes,” Adam agreed. The taller man let you down once your destination was reached and he immediately saw something new he wanted to investigate.

The fucking shopping carts.

So you tagged along, mainly to make sure Adam wouldn't hurt himself but also because you were curious too. You weren't quite sure how, but somehow Adam had managed to disconnect the metal chain from the cart, the first man was pulling it away from the others and as soon as it stopped moving, he climbed in it to sit down, “What are you waiting for, bitch, fucking push me!” Adam pointed to the street.

Lute had just managed to catch up to you two drunken asses as you rushed past her. You pushed the shopping cart as fast as physically possible, “Fuck yeah,” Adam yelled and threw his fists in the air, that man was having the time of his life - or well, existence. Either way it was fun, you two were having fun.

Lute on the other hand regretted every single decision that had led her to his exact moment, if she could she would punch her past self for even agreeing to coming with you. Fuck what had she been thinking, that you two would take this serious for once? Yeah, dead fucking wrong.

It was all fun and games until you stumbled over your own feet, lost control of the cart and pushed it right into the brook that was besides the sidewalk you had been running on. Your alcohol clouded brain didn't even think of letting go and therefore you fell with Adam. Instead of being bummed about it, you thought of this as an upgrade though, because now you were floating on water.

“Adam look,” you called for your husband, “I’m floating.” Adam turned around in order to see what you were doing and chuckled at the sight. “‘m washin’ me ‘n’ my clothes,” the brunette explained what he was doing as he slid his hands all across his body, crumbling up his very wet clothes.

Lute had finally managed to fully catch up to you and just watched you with annoyance. “He’s drunk as fuck,” she grumbled, clearly talking to you but you simply shook your head violently, you somehow managed to get over to where Adam was washing himself and his clothes and helped him by sliding your hands all over his body too, “Bitch, we're washing him and his clothes.”

The brunette turned around to face you and poked your chest, “If you handsome bitch keep touching me like that I might just fuck you right here, right now,” the words he spoke were a little hard to understand die to the alcohol he had been drinking earlier. But hard to understand didn't mean impossible to understand, because as soon as your brain had processed the words your husband had spoken you pressed your entire body against his, your wet clothes clinging onto each other.

“Oh Lord have mercy,” Lute prayed as she covered her ears and turned around so that she wouldn't have to watch.

“Yeah? What's stopping you, big guy?” you were up for the challenge, if he wanted to fuck you right there, then he should get to do that. At least that's how you saw it.

Sera had a gut feeling that told her to check on the group and so she did. But what she saw was something she surely hadn't expected. Lute was standing on the sidewalk, the woman was still covering her ears and had squeezed her eyes shut in order to tune out what was happening behind her back.

Because Adam and you were standing in a brook, both fully naked. Sera immediately regretted what she had just done, she wanted to unsee what her eyes had been able to see. She stopped the transmission in an instant. That had simply been too much for her nerves, she had also made the decision to never address what was currently going down on earth.

Spoiler: Adam was going down on you.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #adam x male reader #male reader #adam x y/n #adam x reader #adam x you

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