#dear self

[remanence-of-love]

#love #love quotes #relatable quotes #heartbreak #heartbroken #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #life quotes #loss #life #quotes #a blog for the heartbroken #remanence-of-love #dear self

[theereina]

✓ I prayed for it.

✓ I visualized it.

✓ I worked for it.

✓ I believed it.

✓ I manifested it.

💫This was between me and God.

#soft life #soft girl #praying woman #law of abundance #law of attraction #law of desire #law of manifestation #manifestation #manifesting #vision board #dream life #dear god #dear self #note to self #romantizing life #black girl thoughts #black girl tumblr #girl thoughts #girl tumblr #11:11 thoughts #manifesting the life i want #visualization #late night thoughts #gods promise #the vision

[thesaturnianmars]

🩷

#healing #love #loveyourself #self love #selfworth #growth #self care reminder #dear self #know your value #know your worth

[whyamisposts]

If you spend time chasing butterflies

They will fly away.

However,

If you spend your time building a beautiful garden the butterflies will come to you,

And If they don’t,

At least you have a garden to be happy with.

#mental health #garden #butterflies #butterfly gardens #self growth #growth #self worth #dear self #self care #fall in love #be happy #happiness

[alwayspostiveparadise]

#zen #positivity #aesthetic #good vibes #law of manifestation #loa #life quotes #quote #namaste #spilled thoughts #dream #reality #good vibrations #energy #qotd #quotes #dear diary #dear self

[savealifekillacop]

dear self, by patience tamarra

I am proud of all of you.

#dear self #you survived #I'm proud of you #personal #mine #you're doing amazing sweetie #i love you and i'm proud of you

[mymidwestheart]

#affirmations #dear self

[turmeric-latte-in-the-rain]

I didn't realise how much I was - had been - hurting.

Growing up, I watched a lot of trusting team dynamic in a professional setting type of TV shows. I read fanfictions of those shows. In those shows, there is always a leader or a pair of leaders who are set up to be the parental figures of the show. I loved those tropes. Obviously at that age, I was empathising with the youngsters of the team.

After growing older for another decade, I am still fond of them, but maybe not as addicted to them anymore. I am at the awkward stage of my life where I am still inexperienced on multiple levels, but am expected to become the parental figure in such setting.

The other day, because I would be the only attendance from my team to a high-level cross-team meeting otherwise, I asked my team leader whether he would attend.

He texted back, "Do you need me?"

I listed the practical / authority consideration to him. He wrote back, "...I'll attending the background. Just in case."

I was surprised by the warmth I had felt from that interaction. Despite of the type of story trope I enjoy, I firmly believe that day jobs should be a purely professional relationship. I don't think of my colleagues as family (and I am pretty sure none of them do either). I admire my team leaders for advocating for their teams, but I do think of such support across the reporting line as purely out of professional courtesy.

After than happened, I could not stop thinking about what it revealed to me -- how much I wanted to be loved, by someone who is not my life partner.

A life partner is a unique commitment, and the second highest priority to someone after themselves. I agree with that, so it is easy for me to believe I deserve the love.

But the rest of the people are different. Who am I to them? Why should they care?

My parents never asked me "Do you need me?" Outside financial and legal obligation to a minor (which they fulfilled well), they never had the capacity or the awareness to meet my emotional needs. If they wanted to insert themselves into something, they would; if they didn't think it was important, they wouldn't. My wants or needs (the ones that acctually comes from me, not from their imagination) were never part of their consideration. I would have said no anyway, because their emotional attention came with "well-intended" pain (expressing their concern through scolding and degrading; overly worried on my behalf; rushing to provide impractical advice in a self-righteous manner; invalidating my feelings), and I learnt from a very young age to be self-sufficient, to avoid such pain. I also did not want to bother them -- like any children who naturally want the best for their parents.

There are many other elements that I don't have time or energy to write about, regarding why I become the person I am today -- a smile, a comforting hand on the back, a question of "do you need me" make me jump, and squirm, and burst into tears days later because the warmth, the fluttering, the longing, they all feel strange to me. It feels wrong to entertain them, like I would be naive.

I am lucky that I have a life partner where I don't have to face all this doubt.

But what happened did remind me how big a hole there is in me regarding the rest of the world.

#dear self

[anjalidubeyy]

Dear self,

It's okay if today did not go as planned.

#reminders #poets on tumblr #aesthetictumblr #quotes #dear self #motivating quotes #self healing #reminder of the day

[theereina]

God, I'm tired.

Im tired of:

fighting for the bare minimum

losing myself

clawing through darkness

praying for better days

being alone when all I need is someone's presence

feeling unappreciated by those I give the world to

desiring more but somehow falling short

viewing the world with kindness and compassion without reciprocation

being led by the "blind"

praying for comfort but never finding peace

living and breathing but never "living"

trying to breath when every breathe feels like a painful reminder

*I am a human person having a human experience. I am posting this to show that everyone falls short at times. Sometimes we need to be reminded that others go through "life", too. THIS POST IS POORLY FOR SELF EXPRESSION AND TRANSPARENCY.

#a talk with god #dear diary #dear self #note to self #i'm not okay #dear god #god first #praying #vulnerability #being human #being honest

[thesaturnianmars]

#love #loveyourself #self love #selfworth #growth #healing #self care reminder #dear self #loving on me #love yourself

[xo-callitkarma]

The Void

I don’t know what it was about me that made people want to hurt me, but they did so with every move. Was like a quick fix to get them off, a bet to see who could break me the most, whoever succeeded got the last parts of me. I let people in, time and time again, for the same cycles to repeat. I let people in, I show them the darkest parts of me and they promise they’ll never let the light go out. Except their standing there with the flashlight slowly fading, watching me slip further into darkness. They don’t care how deep you fall because according to them, you feel nothing at all. I gave you what was left of me and you showed me it was not enough. I realized with time it wasn’t the men I was chasing but the pain, the pain becomes addicting when it’s all that ever stays. You promised you wouldn’t leave, but you ran fast and never turned your back to see where you left me. I stopped jumping every time I fell and slowly sunk into my void. There in the void, are all the things I’ll forever keep buried. There in the void, the feelings surface of all the pain I kept running from. There in the void, is you.

#an excerpt from a book i'll never write #bpd feels #dear self #love between fairy and devil #self care #stop coming back #writtersblock #creative writing #poets and writers #excerpt from a book i'll never write #writing #my writing #my poem #poems and quotes #poems on tumblr #poet #poetry #spilled poetry #a link to the past

[gatitahhh]

Don’t just be good to others, be good to you too…

#self love #selfie #self esteem #dear self #self care #encouraging words #love yourself #natural beauty #beautiful #latin beauties #dominican mami #green eyes

[whyamisposts]

"Dear me,

I'm sorry that you tried so desperately to fix others, when your own hands were shaking. I'm sorry that I didn't give you enough time to heal, that I let you seal the wounds of everyone else whilst your own were bleeding. I'm sorry that there were days when smiling hurt but you forced yourself to laugh so that no one had to worry about you.

I'm sorry that you gave all of your time and effort to people that didn't give the same amount back.

I'm sorry that there were nights when you cried yourself to sleep and no one bothered to understand why.

And I am so sorry that I did not love you, like you deserved to be loved."

#i love you #dear self #im sorry #protect your mental health #mental health

[take-me-to-the-moon]

Hang in there.

#dear self

[gabrielwritesstuff]

#note to self #self worth #life #moments #thoughts #self love #inspiration #hope #dear self #dear diary