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#they really have no idea about any of it
snek-eyes · 8 months
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Ineffable Husbands eras
So I named the first section of history the Pre-Arrangement era, which of course led me thinking to how I would divide up the rest. This is of course just how I interpret the vibes, I'd love to hear thoughts!
Pre-Arrangement (4004 BC ~ 41 AD)
Getting to know each other—and themselves. They're both learning and growing in this brand new world, and they test each other out whenever the job brings them to the same place (There isn't a whole lot of place else yet to be). During this time they learn that they can not only trust each other, but the era ends with them realizing they actively enjoy each other's company. They have much more in common with each other than their respective sides.
4004 BC - Eden (Meeting. Surprising each other)
3004 BC - Mesopotamia (The flood. Aziraphale disappoints Crowley by sticking to Heaven's line.)
2500 BC - Uz (Job. Crowley tries to get Aziraphale to disappoint him again, but instead the angel puts his faith in the demon. Their Own Side is formed way back here.)
33 AD - Golgotha (Crucifixion. Crowley tests Aziraphale again, the angel passes and Crowley opens up about his name change)
41 AD - Rome (Oysters. Aziraphale is the one to reach out this time, and doesn't shy away from being unangelic.)
Formation of the Arrangement (537 ~ 1601)
Let's do this on purpose (for Strictly Business reasons). What defines this era is that Aziraphale is nervous and Crowley thinks they've got it made. Even well after they've agreed to working together, they're still doing the song and dance of Aziraphale pretending he doesn't know what's happening and Crowley seducing him into it.
537 AD - Kingdom of Wessex (Knights. Still running into each other by accident, Crowley proposes a more radical version of what will be the final agreement)
[1020ish - when the book says they reached the Arrangement]
1601 - Globe Theatre, London (Hamlet. They've switched jobs "dozens of times" by now, presumably that's at least 24 occasions but less than 100.)
And now I've gone and done math about it, so...
if the start date is also accurate for the show... by the 1600s they're meeting up at least once every 25 years on average.
(and that's for the minimum of 24 Arrangements)
In my unlikely scenario of them having 99 Arrangements already, that would bring it down to 5 years
Even if for some unlikely reason Aziraphale changed his mind and went back right away in 537, 24 Arrangements would have them meeting up on average every 44 years
Of course, these are exact averages and they aren't robots. It's likely meetings started out less often and increased in frequency as they got more comfortable. Maybe it was every 100 years in the beginning, who knows exactly! (only one man and he's not talking) Do with this information what you will. Let's move on.
Definitely Not Friends (1793 ~ 1862)
Let's do this on purpose (for personal reasons). No longer are they only arranging to meet up in-between going to each others' jobs so the other can stay home, this is going out of their way to spend time together.
During this era, Aziraphale has finally started to relax, while Crowley is doing the opposite. Turns out (in classic Crowley form) this might not have been as good an idea as he originally thought, but he's in way too deep now. The era ends when Crowley shatters Aziraphale's growing comfort.
1793 - Paris (Revolution. It's plausible that Aziraphale may have arranged this on purpose, to see Crowley without admitting that's what he wants. For his part, Crowley goes out of his way to stage a rescue, even though he's now able to admit it could get him in real trouble.)
1800 - London (Bookshop opening [from the script book, semi-canonical]. In Paris, Crowley knew Aziraphale was planning to open a bookshop, now he knows the exact date and is swinging by to bring him presents. Also sneakily puts a stop to the other angels recalling Aziraphale from Earth; just as he knew Aziraphale wouldn't like hell, he knows he wouldn't like going back to heaven either.)
1827 - Edinburgh (Grave robbing. Crowley invites Aziraphale to hang out in a graveyard in the middle of the night in what is totally not an old-timey date. The only pretense is a personal excuse ['hey angel come see this statue of your boss lmao']. This is just straight up spending time together.) Interestingly, this is also the last time we will really see them traveling together, everything from here on out is around London.
1862 - St. James Park (Holy water requested, denied. This meeting is oddly formal for all that came before it, even back in S1 when it followed right after the Paris rescue. Crowley is seriously rattled. The Holy Water request is a declaration that he would take on hell for them. Aziraphale doesn't understand and isn't ready to hear it even if he did.)
We Both Know that We Both Know (1941 ~ 1967)
We are dangerously aware of what's going on here. It is made very clear that they will both go to insane lengths to ensure the other will stay in their life. They still can't say it out loud, but the remaining pretense is tissue paper thin.
1941 - London (The Blitz. It's been 80 years since they've seen each other, and yet Crowley saunters back in right at the moment Aziraphale needs him. They spend a giddy night being ridiculous together, only to get the wake up call of their closest call yet from head office. It's the night of Aziraphale's two realizations: That they're in love, and the full weight of the danger that puts them in.)
1967 - Soho (Holy Water given. Aziraphale isn't happy about it, but he makes the decision to trust Crowley in hopes being on the same team will keep him safer than he'd be otherwise. It's the complete opposite of the decision he made to walk away 105 years ago. He also gives them both a slim glimpse of hope for the future.)
A Test of Faith (2008 ~ 2019)
Whose side are we on? 6000 years of becoming more and more of Earth while pretending that's not what they're doing, and it's finally time to either admit that or don't. Still not quite ready to admit that choosing "the world" also means each other, but they do choose their own side.
2008 - Baby antichrist delivered (Present day dates aren't outright stated, this is technically "11 years ago")
2019 - Apocawasn't (date from when S1 aired)
What Are We [Limbo] (2020 ~ 2023)
Finally free (what are we waiting for?). Stuck in a holding pattern, neither of them know how to move forward. All the coping mechanisms they've developed and sunk into over millennia are breaking down. Crowley is more stressed than ever waiting for the other shoe to fall, Aziraphale doesn't know who he is without the structure of heaven. Something needs to shake things up, and when it comes it shakes them apart.
2020 - Lockdown short (Semi-canonical. The excuse to hole up together is right there and they both clearly want it! But neither of them knows how to take that step.)
2023 - Gabriel disappears from heaven and chaos ensues (season 2 airdate)
As for what's next, I'm guessing something like:
Divorce Era (Figuring out who they are and what matters to them without the other for the first time. Throwback to the pre-Arrangement)
What Are We [Redux] (allied again, but the plot is giving us a convenient excuse to not address things between us. This is 'We Both Know' and 'Limbo' combined)
Ineffable Husbands time (when they've finally finally gotten it all out on the table. They are going to be insufferable.)
And those are my thoughts! Let me know what you think :)
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pinkgibbon · 2 months
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anton chigurh goes to stardew valley
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dedusmuln · 6 months
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yeah you support trans people but are you normal about trans men who choose to get pregnant
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canisalbus · 4 months
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Building on the favourite animal ask, another Very Important Question: favourite PREHISTORIC animal? And why? (I've always loved gorgonopsids and pterosaurs like anurognathus, but a new favourite is aquilolamma the eagle shark. They're just very cute).
I feel like my top favorites are pretty pedestrian, but I like prehistoric deer a lot!
Megaloceros giganteus aka Irish elk
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Sinomegaceros ordosianus & Sinomegaceros yabei
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Eucladoceros dicranios
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Cervalces scotti
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fanaticalthings · 8 days
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Broke: "Dick Grayson was upset at a new kid taking over his mantle because he doesn't think Jason will be good enough as Robin"
Woke: "Dick is upset at Jason, not because he's suddenly taking over the mantle he created, but because Jason isn't nearly feral enough of a child to drive Bruce insane in Dick's place"
Dick: You wanna be my successor? Go swing from that chandelier right now.
Jason:
Dick: As a matter of fact, I need to see you crawling all over the walls. Make a ruckus, break some furniture
Jason: But Bruce-
Dick: SCREW Bruce. Your job as my new brother is to make his life HELL. Why are you so polite? Why are you so calm? Where's your DRIVE, your PASSION, huh? You may be worthy of the title of Robin, but are you WORTHY of being my disaster brother?
Jason, a little scared: I dont-
Dick, scoffing: The youth these days just don't rebel like they used to.
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lorephobic · 6 months
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“the class commentary in saltburn was shit” WHAT CLASS COMMENTARY???? NOT EVERY MOVIE WITH RICH PEOPLE HAS TO OR SHOULD HAVE CLASS COMMENTARY. EMERALD FENNELL KNOWS VERY WELL THAT SHE IS NOT THE RIGHT DIRECTOR FOR A MOVIE ABOUT CLASS COMMENTARY WHICH IS WHY SHE DID NOT WRITE A MOVIE ABOUT CLASS COMMENTARY.
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kaiserouo · 1 month
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Well someone has to give it its driver updates, Gabriel
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bluepallilworld · 10 months
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HEY I MADE A BAD GUYS MUG THAT DOES NOT GIVE AWAY YOU'RE AN UTMV FAN :D
If you want it, I know have a society6 account :3
https://society6.com/product/dark8445873_mug?sku=s6-27459703p30a27v199
@shinechermont hehe it is the project I was talking about (thanks for the inspiration for what objects to use)
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hel1anthus-annuus · 7 months
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Love this bitch for having multiple gender filters on. He’s transmasc, he’s a woman who’s a man, she’s nothing at all
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egophiliac · 11 months
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Have you heard of the "Crowley is Malleus' dad" theory going around? Where Prince Levan (or whatever his name is) didn't actually die and just went out to get some milk and is now known as Dire Crowley, the silly man? The implications of that theory is absolutely hilarious when you think about it
hold on, we can figure this out, we just need LISTS
PROS THAT CROWLEY IS SECRETLY REVAAN/LEVAN/LAVERNE/WHATEVER:
unspecified fae of some kind, with similar coloring to Mal
the animal masks are apparently a Briar Valley thing
has some kind of big blackmailable secret that was alluded to in episode 4, and then as far as I know never brought up again
(unless this was just Azul bullshitting, which is extremely possible)
based on Diablo, which...maybe means something?
has canonically worn Dad Shorts
CONS:
(gestures to Crowley's entire personality)
NO LISTEN Revaan was the guy they sent off on diplomatic missions and to take care of delicate political situations, and...look, I love this dweeb, but would you trust Crowley to be in charge of negotiating your war treaties
despite my brain insisting on reading his name as "Raven", Revaan's title does imply that he was also a dragon (or super into longan berries, I'm not ruling that out)
currently unclear why Lilia "my closest friend Revaan...he is no longer with us...I used to make fun of him for being kind of a priss about eating jerky..." Vanrouge has somehow not noticed or said anything
Malleus' Aloof Anime ~Aristocrat~ vibe had to come from somewhere, and by all accounts it was NOT his mom's side of the family
???:
turns into a bird in the opening, I don't know if that means anything but it's kinda cool, I guess
all that aside, if Malleus and Yuu are any indication, then the Draconias have...questionable taste in their social choices. so anything is possible!
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suja-janee · 3 months
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I wonder who these two totally random people in disguise are?
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gay-jesus-probably · 1 year
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Okay so I have a lot of thoughts about the whole thing of the Gerudo being a race of entirely women, with the only exception being one man born every hundred years, and that man automatically being their king. Now this worldbuilding comes from Ocarina of Time, and there's obviously a metric fuckton of unfortunate implications there, because it was 1998. And it seems that Tears of the Kingdom is sticking with the lore of Gerudo men being extremely rare and becoming the King of their people, which once again has a metric fuckton of unfortunate implications because it's 2023 and Nintendo has somehow gotten even worse about this shit.
But let's set aside the whole... everything, and look at this from just the in-universe perspective. How does it work? I mean, it's pretty clear that there is no overlap between the kings; the old ones are normally long gone by the time a new one is born, but the Gerudo manage to take care of themselves during the hangtime. So they must have an established system of government and leadership that doesn't involve a king, and somehow that system is set up in a way that does a smooth transfer of power once a new king is born and old enough to take the throne. But why bother always declaring a random guy to be your King when you already have a perfectly functional system in place?
I mean again, the whole thing has a lot of sexist implications, but we're not looking at this from a real world context, we're examining it in-universe. And we could just go the lazy route and say that their king is in charge just because he's the only man, but I don't like that. I mean come on, the Gerudo are a race of entirely women, and most of their outside problems come from Hylian men being creepy about it. They are entirely a matriarchy; there is literally no reason for their culture to have an inherent respect for men, even if the man in question is one of them. And they're desert people; they live in an extremely harsh and dangerous landscape, if they don't have their shit together, they will die. By sheer necessity, their culture needs to put a lot of value in being practical, because if they're stupid about things, people die. They really can't afford to have a shitty leader take over, and just letting some guy take the wheel doesn't really fit with the way their culture must otherwise work.
So again, why the fuck do they bother having a King?
I think it's mainly just a ceremonial position. Yes, if the guy is a good leader he'll be in charge, but if he isn't good at being a King or isn't interested in the job... fuck it, they've already got a functional government system that's been leading their people the whole time, why fix what isn't broken? The title of Gerudo King isn't about leadership or power. I think it's more about belonging. Because the Gerudo are a culture where every single one of them can be defined in the same way... and there is exactly one exception once a century. Men are considered to be inherently outsiders at the best of times, and more often they're enemies. A man born into this culture is a natural outsider; he is completely unique, and that means he doesn't really fit into his community. And well... when someone is fundamentally different from the rest of their community, they tend to be ostracized.
So I think that's why the position of Gerudo King exists. It isn't about them needing or even wanting a man to lead them. The title of King doesn't need to involve any leadership at all. It's about giving the man born every century a place in their society. It's a way of saying yes, you are one of us, you are a Gerudo, you belong here, you are wanted and you are loved.
The Gerudo know that every hundred years, one of their children will be fundamentally different from all of his peers. And so their society is built to ensure that a child who is completely different from them will still be loved and accepted. He will always have a place in their society. He doesn't need to earn their love, he has it just for existing. These are his people.
The title of Gerudo King isn't an inherent position of authority. It's a promise of acceptance.
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gncrezan · 7 months
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the established orion-romance dreams have gotten to me. what will my delusional visions reveal to me next <3
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canterbury-bell · 6 months
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Bunnydoll Week 2023
Day 4: Apologies
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otaku553 · 7 months
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I have an agenda.
Long hair teenage sabo.
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elfcollector · 2 months
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I feel ill. All the fools and villains who ever fell for my ploys, they're — they're here!
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