how Richard Trager uses Instagram (yes, he would use Instagram):
this is Pre-Engine Rick because realistically post-engine Rick would have other things to worry about besides instagram
30 stories a day, from dawn till dawn again this man is addicted to the layout
doesn't use stickers because hes a grown man BUT HE DOES HAVE A BITMOJI THAT HE USES RELIGIOUSLY
its half office reels, half food pics, and a quarter just rants
overuses tags to hell, even randomly mid sentence , example: "#Amazing day today at @MurkoffOfficial ! this #Work ain't doin itself 📋💻👍🏻 #Workday #Monday #Officeday #ADayInMyLife #Job"
sometimes thinks that Murkoff should totally have a social media account, he knows its dumb but he cant help wanting more followers 😔
"Suns out guns out! #Sunday with my bud @JeremyBlaireOfficial" and its a picture of them in a golf cart holding champagne (not gay, just besties)
Not to sneak in my RickJer agenda but in my minds eye they signed eachothers golf clubs
tags the location if he could he would
username is something obnoxious like 'RichardTragerOfficial' like nobody know u lil bro 😭😭😭
buys likes and followers to feed his ego
4k followers thats like 85% bots
" @McDonaldsOffical Never fails 😂😂😂 #hangovermeal #NoRegrets" and its a fish fillet with the most inhuman bite you've ever seen taken out of it
WOULD POST A SWEATY GYM MAT AND TAG THE GYM AND IT'D HAVE A DUMB CAPTION LIKE "Workout Wednesdays! 🏋🏼♂️💪#Wednesday #Gym #Exercise #GymPic #Muscles" HE LACKS SELF AWARENESS DONT LAUGH
would 'ironically' comment "Hot! 🔥🔥🔥" on a mans gym pic and would slutshame a womans gym butt pic
"he hurts every woman hes ever met because his true soulmate is a man" - Sock-rates
he would unironically use hashtags in a sentence for fun, also urges Jer to be more active on Instagram
imagine the most white grown man, now add curly blonde hair, uhuh now give him a gay sweater, now make him homophobic & gay, yep .thats him officer
HAS gotten scammed on instagram, he threathened legal action and got his money back and deleted their account after a week tho
weekday streaks exist to him, no hes not a middle schooler hes actually 30
look at me in the eyes and tell me he wouldn't make fun of feminism in the comments section of those LibzDunked accounts
his Close Friends stories are just aftermaths after nights out, its either him drunk posting or filming himself talking to the camera about his hangover
its just Jer and a few other friends but it has the same intimacy of homosexuality
theres one video where hes drunk and actually tripped and fell so comically its been 7 months and Jer still makes fun of him for it (laughs along but actually hates it like viscerally)
he has 3 phones, both iphones and one is a samsung flip (he wanted the hype), a work phone, home phone, and his normal phone, why does he need so much? why is he not robbed yet? we will never know....
replies to those awareness posts about war in the middle east and goes like "damn.. thats unfortunate 💔 hearts goes out to them 🙏 @Chriswalker89"
most menacing instagram white man, cyberbullies as a past time and has 5 alts just focused on Harrassment+ Stalking people
he'd doxx which hospital your mother is staying in with no shame
"If you don't take that back I'm injecting your mothers spine with brain eating parasites" and he means that for real
would post corny atheist memes & misinformation
induces paranoia as a hobby "Yes ma'am i am a licensed doctor vaccines Do cause autism" as a treat
he fucks around too much one day his main gets suspended and he calls Instagram customer services
if you wouldn't think he'd try to hook up with an instagram influencer you are a liar
weekly self-help book recommendations that he doesn't read and actually just gets payed 7$ per link
im not saying he would make an alt to just hype up his own photos but he would.....do that.....
also gets blackmailed his own dick pic but whatever that was in the past
on a side note Jeremy does have a year old instagram account that only has 2 pictures (both just bar pics of him posing with a glass of wine like an idiot) and his entire Tagged section is just RICHARD TAGGING HIM IN ANYTHING
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ok i’m back on my bullshit. trans archives agenda time
martin has trouble with health insurance at some point and has to go off t for a while, so his period comes back and he is Suffering. he asks if anyone has any painkillers (specifically vague) and tim’s like “yeah bro i gotchu” and hands him a midol. and martin just looks at him in panic like …does he know?? and tim is just like 😬 don’t mind me i’m just a normal cis guy with normal cis guy painkillers and neither of them ever mentions it again
tim wears a binder underneath his usual buttoned shirts, and likes to keep the top couple buttons undone. people just tend to assume it’s a tanktop, but sasha knows. she’s traded clothes with him a dozen times already
sasha gets bottom surgery and while she’s in recovery tim brings her food every day, and sits with her and tells her what she missed at work. he makes up funny stories that get more and more ridiculous until she’s finally like “okay tim i KNOW you’re lying this time” and he shrugs and replies “all trans men know is make friend laugh, eat doughnut, and lie”
jon gets top surgery but doesn’t tell any of his coworkers what procedure he’s having done, just that he’s having surgery. he’s out of work for weeks, and when he comes back martin notices that he’s no longer wearing what he’d assumed was an undershirt. martin doesn’t think anything of it. tim, however, notices that jon is veeeeery cautious about lifting his arms over his head and is just like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) i see u, boss (and goes out if his way to retrieve everything that’s on high shelves for jon, who continues to act like nothing is up)
elias sneaks into the archives on the first day of pride month to set a little jar of trans flags in the break room. he does not admit to doing this. he watches from his office as the archives descends into chaos
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