#their own ways of support

[breezy-cheezy]

You are deep in the paint about One Piece and me and my datemate watched OPLA recently so I will tell you this thing I said while we were talking about Shanks.

He said something to the effect of Shanks is CRAZY STRONG, perhaps one of the strongest, and has some special ability that allows him to tell anyone weaker than him to GTFO, so it's a fucking mystery why he lost his arm when by all rights he never needed to lose the arm. He's still the strongest without it, but why'd he lose it in the first place if he didn't have to???

So I replied, after like a minute of thought, "Because he might not need the arm, but Luffy needed him to lose his arm". Luffy needed the lesson he was going to learn for Shanks giving up that piece of himself to save Luffy's life. He needed to see the stakes and be given that lesson of actions, consequences, collateral damage, giving pieces of yourself for the sake of your crew/family/nakama.

Furthermore, with Sanji and Luffy being connected through "my mentor/surrogate father literally gave up a piece of himself to save my life", stands to logic that Sanji also needed that lesson in the narrative sense. These older guard pirates passed along something vital, giving up something that they don't need to live fulfilling lives but would be seen as incredibly important, to teach the next generation something and give them tools with which to do better.

I don't go here (I don't have the spoons for the entirety of One Piece tbh), but I liked the conclusion I came up with and wanted to share it in the hopes that you might like it too. I don't think I'm breaking any new ground here tbh but as an outsider, it was neat to think about.

I SURE AM, BUDDY X'''D Thanks for popping in! 👀 I got thoughts (and manga screencaps since you won't read it anyway, FREE REIN:

Hm. I mean point taken, but I mean...even the strongest people aren't infallible? Even IF Shanks has Conquerer's Haki (the power in question) which is something very special someone has to be born with and trained to use to its fullest, that doesn't mean it'll fix everything. Also like. He's also been shown to kinda....lose control of it when nervous or on edge.

Like my dude did not have to do this. He mentions later he doesn't like being on different territory or something LOL (he's visiting a different powerful pirate leader here).

Anyway to rescue Luffy at that time, he had to act FAST and was probably SCARED FOR HIM so like. Maybe didn't have the time to make the Haki register? It came down to losing Luffy or bodily thrusting his own arm forward to block the bite from the sea king....and well. Shanks has 2 arms. Only one Luffy. The choice was easy. Even upon losing the arm he didn;t seem upset by it really.

For the sake of the new era he says....the face of it being Luffy himself. And yea the wording really is "I gave it up" and him clearly having no regrets.

STILL I think you do have a point, this was VERY important for Luffy to learn. This same kid stabbed his own face to prove he was "manly enough" to be a pirate (so Shanks wouldn't leave without him....like his brother Ace....like his brother Sabo, to an extent, through "death" in his case) so the realization that being a pirate....would not be easy. There would be sacrifice. There would be pain. But also in a way, it was Shanks showing how important Luffy was to him. This, and passing down that straw hat much to big for Luffy....yeah.

It's clear then he's not ready. Not yet. It's with these parting gifts that Luffy is finally able to let Shanks go, and improve himself so he's strong enough to protect others, so they don;t have to do for him what Shanks did. Luffy learned to live, and while Shanks's sacrifice was devastating to Luffy, he took it to heart to keep going and grow stronger. And yea, that Nakama is just that important, more than limbs. More than life.

NOW SANJI ON THE OTHER HAND....similar but different. Luffy and Sanji were very lonely kids, but for different reasons. Luffy was clingy to anyone who showed him anything close to kindness, while Sanji....puffed up like a scared cat. Without going deep into details, he's from an extremely abusive family that beat into him he's not worth anything because he's weak. Especially from his father. So when Zeff gives him all the food, and sacrifices his own leg....well...

"Why did you do that for me?! I never gave you a reason to be kind to me!!!" And Zeff responds with their shared dreams of the All Blue...but I also feel like it's just. Sanji is a kid. He's just a kid. Again a face of the new generation to come. Zeff had his chance to search for the All Blue and be a pirate, but Sanji's life is just beginning. I'm sure that fueled his decision too.

But unlike Luffy, this just made Sanji cling harder. In a way he gave up his dream to support Zeff, out of guilt, out of a sense of duty and kindness he'd....not really experienced and didn't know what to do with. And Zeff probably allowed it for awhile, because goodness Sanji is just a kid, and he needed someone to help him grow and learn.

But it took Luffy to come along, bringing "I will live for you" to challenge Sanji's "I will die for you" conclusion.

Which uh. Didn't really fix Sanji's self sacrificial nature, but it HELPED, lmao. Eventually he was able to let go of suppori=ting the Baratie to finally chase his dream...as long as he doesn't die for a crewmate in the process hsdhfhdsk

So YEA IDK how much their mentors/father figures knew/thought about their sacrifices, but there sure were willing choices to give up their limbs for the upcoming generation/era, no matter what. I loved Zeff emphasizing that to Garp in OPLA, I think that's extremely important and a huge theme to One Piece in general. Cycles, power, and how many conflicts rise from powerful forces refusing to let go of their power, thus suffocating the new generations (the World Government smacking down so hard on the age of pirates).

Shanks and Zeff gave their support and protection to ensure these kids could live their fullest lives, and I think that's beautiful!

#nsfi #breezy replies #one piece #meta #op #idk if this made sense I have many thoughts all the time in many directions #op manga spoilers #one piece spoilers #ageofzero #sorry if you got back more than you wanted kjHSKJDLHFKSD I SURE AM DEEP IN THE PAINT #LOST IN THE SAUCE IF YOU WILL #zeff and shanks gave up their limbs willingly because wow they're just kids #their own ways of support #they had no idea how said kids' traumas would react to said sacrifices tho LMAO #ie Luffy letting go and needing to be stronger #whiiiich only got worse with Ace heyo abandonment issues babeyyyy #meanwhile Sanji and kindness being complicated and even RARE....why would he let that go.... #love these kids they got issues and their parental figures sure are trying their best lolol #thanks for the ask!!! #shanks #luffy #zeff #sanji #i understand....one piece is very long..... #I personally am super enjoying the manga tho heheheh

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

#mental health #mental health support #positivity #if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them! #i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all.. #...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in... #...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air... #...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life... #...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with... #...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it... #...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it #i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive #unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND) #the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there' #no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD. #and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them. #again..... fun times

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The indescribable tension between an overworked and underpaid smut writer, and his biggest fan hater.

(for @frummpets)

#SVSSS #Shen yuan #shang qinghua #cumplane #Normally I don't tag with ship names but this one is a special case. #Confession time: When I first had SVSSS described to me I 100% thought the main pairing was between these two. #The dynamic is impeccable! Even if its 'just a fan ship' I stand by it. #Sorry to the people who like to think of them as handsome pretty boys. I don't. #These guys sit in their rooms and use the computer for 90% of waking hours. They are not looking after themselves well enough for good skin #They can be cute in their own way. People with acne and missed shaving spots deserve to have their romances too. #And sloppy hate makeouts <3 #Hi Sol! I truly did whoop and holler when drawing your name for the raffle! #You've been so kind and generous towards me and I'd happy to finally have the opportunity to give back some of that joy! #Thank you so much for all your support and the incredible fanart <3 You've made my day so many times! #I hope this silly mini comic is to your liking! #Playing around with colours for this one was a blast!

[canisalbus]

✦ 2023 summary of art ✦

#CanisAlbus #art #artists on tumblr #own art #own characters #yea you can sort of tell when this train got derailed #there's pre and post Vasco 2023 #the good thing is I've been more productive this year than in past 5+ years combined #haven't had this much fun drawing in ages I hope it shows at least in some way or another #unless something really drastic happens I'll probably continue along this trajectory for a while #I might reach a saturation point eventually but there's no way of knowing when that'll happen #so I'm just going to try to make the most of this intense and self-indulgent oc art period #your feedback and support mean a lot to me I hope this year will be as good as 23 #thank you for bearing with me #the missing month is March I didn't post a single thing in March #cw blood #blood #cw gore #gore #cw head injury #head injury

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

I must say it’s very nice to see Taylor’s partner singing along to her songs, having a great time at her show, just being there to support her when she’s on and off the stage and not at all intimidated by the fact that he’s with the Taylor Swift.

#taylor swift #the eras tour #he’s not at all ashamed or afraid of being associated with her #like obviously she and Joe did things their own way but to see the stark difference between the types of public support is astounding

[clouvu]

Offering lil doodles of them bc my eyes have been opened

#genshin impact #furina #clorinde #furinde #furina's character story 5 and her voicelines about clorinde has left me so mentally ill in the head #THE WAY FURINA FELT THAT SHE WAS NO LONGER WANTED AND ALMOST IMMEDIATELY CLORINDE POPPED UP TO INVITE HER TO A LIL GATHERING AMONG FRIENDS #NOT TO MENTION THAT CLORINDE IMMEDIATELY OFFERED TO PAY FOR HER TO HAVE BETTER LIVING CONDITIONS #EVEN WHEN DECLINED SHE STILL HELPED FURINA TIDY UP HER NEW APARTMENT BEFORE THEY WENT OUT FOR DRINKS TOGETHER #the way clorinde was no longer bound to any sort of contract but still went to visit furina and help her out of her own volition is so????? #AND the fact that little miss stonefaced 24/7 clorinde actually SMILED at furina???? chewing on aluminum foil #oughhhh they scratch at my brain so nicely #ALSO!! ALSO!! THE LONGING IN FURINA'S VOICE WHEN SHE SAYS HOW MUCH SHE TRUSTS CLORINDE AND MISSES HER IS SO!!!!!!!!! #crawling on the walls and howling as we speak #4.2 had made me already so deranged about furina to the point where she shot up from being just a funky lil guy to straight hyperfixation #I just thinjk;;;;;;; she deserves to be happy for once in her life (and have her lil emotional support bodyguard gf w/ her to smooch)

[bnuuyteethh]

Erm.... Random comic ideas I had that would work instead of whatever the fuck they had now

Huskerdust comic

Transcript::

*Making drinks*

Husk: Here. You've been acting weird lately

Angel: Whaddya mean? —i haven't been acting any differently?

Husk: if you say so,

Angel: if anything you're being weird. Why do you care?

Husk: I don't. I'm glad you feel less touchy, but. I can't help but notice how unusual it is. — especially for you.

Angel: I guess.

Husk: fuck you mean "I guess"?

Angel: ...

Husk: listen uh, I don't do this a lot. Or at all, but if somethings bothering you angel. You can tell me. —but you don't gotta tell me anythin if you don't want to.

*Flinch*

Angel: yeah uh— I'm not ready. To talk about it....

Husk: okay.

.

Explanation:

So basically some context is.. and brief s/a mentioned but not enough to be censored

I hated the idea of EP 4 so I had this idea that instead of it being explicitly shown or described. I thought about what my friend said and just shown through the victims behavior. Angel definitely stopped being flirty and touchy as he was with husk and he noticed that.

So he commented about it when Angel came to get a drink, I'd say it's pretty late anyway so they're alone at the bar.

Husk isn't much of a person for contact comfort or touch at all. So he doesn't mind that the angel seems unsettled by it now, he just finds it a bit odd.

So he respects that and lets him lean into him for comfort.

Because angel was never the one who got to dictate that, he felt that husk did care about his boundaries and how he felt. Especially in that moment when providing comfort was hard to do.

#hazbin #hazbin husk #hazbin angel dust #hazbin art #hazbin hotel but i dont support viv or the show so i made my own designs cus ths original are kinda lackluster!!!?? #hazbin hotel written MY WAY #hurt/comfort #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #huskerdust #husk x angel dust #hazbin fanart #hazbin hotel fanart

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

On Kurapika's Self-Imposed Isolation

While I recognize that probably everything I'm about to say is going to be super obvious, I just wanted to briefly touch on Kurapika's self-isolation, and the reason behind his not picking up his phone or exchanging anything more than clipped words and business after Yorknew.

I think the obvious answer is that Kurapika doesn't want his friends in harms way, or to be used as a bargaining tool against him. This is an understandable and probably accurate conclusion. After all, Gon and Killua did get taken hostage, and Kurapika was forced to negotiate an exchange. Chrollo picked up on Kurapika's "weakness" right away - that he values his friends' safety before his revenge. Fortunately for Kurapika in this situation, Pakunoda was a whole lot more similar to him than he would've cared to admit, as she placed a value on Chrollo's life even though everyone in the Spider was intended to be replaceable. So, now that he's been through Gon and Killua having potentially gotten killed or seriously hurt, and Chrollo knows that he has a soft spot for them, it does make sense that he would try to push them away for their safety and for the sake of not having an exploitable "weakness" in future. He may also not want to burden them more when they have their own lives to live - he does slip off without telling Gon and Killua for the sake of not distracting them from Nen training, after all.

Except that he already tried all this earlier in Yorknew arc. He tried to tell them they shouldn't get involved, and they all agreed that the risks were massive - but his friends agreed to undergo the risks anyways to help him. Kurapika was even grateful for it - "I have been blessed with good friends."

So, for him to push them away solely for this reason after the fact, knowing that this was very much a likely situation to happen, is a little odd to me. Kurapika knows full well that Leorio would be frustrated, Killua would be offended and Gon would worry. So, I think there's a little more to it than that, and I actually would venture to say that "keeping his friends out of danger" is more a secondary reason for his actions - one that would come across as more of a reasonable excuse to others.

The primary reason is likely a lot more selfish than that. Kurapika has to ensure his mission comes first. And unfortunately, he is fully aware that his path and choice in abilities is deeply self-destructive.

Kurapika needs to make sure that he doesn't have exploitable weaknesses, sure, but he also just as much needs to purposefully worsen his headspace - and he can't do that with those three around.

Think back, what are the happiest moments we see from Kurapika in the series? The one that comes to mind first, and the one I'm sure most of us will think of immediately, is this:

[ID: A screenshot from the 2011 anime adaptation. Kurapika smiles - he looks at ease. End ID.]

It's one of the sweetest scenes of the series imo, right before the whole group is reunited for the first time since the Zoldyck Family arc, and it's even more notable because it comes immediately on the tail end of this...

[ID: Three panels from HxH Chapter 101. Kurapika removes his contacts over the sink. His expression is distant. End ID.]

...and this...

[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 101. A close up of Kurapika's vacant and furious expression, his eyes wide and dangerous as he says "It might as well be you." Though the art is in black and white, it's apparent his eyes have gone scarlet. End ID.]

...and this.

[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 101. A distant Kurapika speaks on the phone on a rooftop at night, the cityscape of Yorknew around him dark, but speckled with lights and stars. He says "The Spiders are dead." His face is not visible to the reader. End ID.]

This is, up to this point in the series, Kurapika at his lowest. In contrast to Gon, who is happy to hear that the Spiders are dead already because now Kurapika can focus solely on finding his peoples' eyes, Kurapika... is clearly not happy - and that's because killing the Spiders himself isn't just revenge. It's penance. It's survivor's guilt. Kurapika's powers, which Izunavi even comments sound much like he is chaining himself in the process of chaining his enemies, are oh-so-beautifully prophecied to destroy him - and Kurapika was aware of this from the moment he set off down this path of revenge.

(As a side note, this is why I'm really hoping we see Gon and Kurapika interact again after the Chimera Ant arc - while Gon has always been pretty attentive to Kurapika's emotional state, in Yorknew, he lacks a true understanding of why Kurapika would go so far... but as of now, he understands rage fueled by guilt and grief all too well. I know we're all rooting for Leorio to reach Kurapika, but barring that, I really think Gon could get through to him - after all, they are similar in several ways, and I find it fairly apparent that Gon reminds Kurapika of Pairo.)

But back to the main point here - I do suspect Kurapika expects (if not wants) his revenge mission to destroy him. I think a lot of times, we forget just how young Kurapika is, and how much his character is dictated by honour, and the abandonment of it.

Certainly, he can and will go against his principles for the sake of his mission... yet, almost paradoxically, he's bound to his promise to his fallen clan; a promise to avenge them made in anger.

But Kurapika... doesn't come across as a naturally angry person to me at all.

He seems like the stoic, vengeful type on his initial introduction... and then we get his panic at Gon's recklessness

[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 2. Kurapika and Leorio wear matching expressions of panic in front of Gon, calling him out for his recklessness. End ID.]

...and his near-immediate forgiveness of Leorio after getting the first inkling of his character - of someone who cares just as fiercely as he does.

And after that point? Almost all through the Hunter Exam? Kurapika smiles so readily at them. He's sharp and funny. He mediates at times, but is stubbornly prideful in others. He's very amused by his friends' antics, and it really does seem like he starts to enjoy himself, with them. And, more than that, he counters Leorio's initial impression of him as an independent loner - on several occasions. He decides to follow Gon because Gon intrigues him. Asides from Gon, it is Kurapika who is the most unwilling to fight each other at the bottom of Trick Tower. Kurapika who makes the first move to team up with Leorio, even though that arrangement benefits Leorio much more than it does him. Kurapika who refuses to abandon Leorio to his fate in the cave, and who checks on Gon after noticing his bad mood. Who was furious enough watching him get beat down by Hanzo that his eyes went scarlet for the first and only instance outside of Spider mentions and Emperor Time. Who quite readily detoured to help rescue Killua.

[ID: Three screenshots from the 2011 adaptation Hunter Exam arc. In the first, Kurapika smiles at a sleeping Leorio. In the second, Kurapika stifles laughter as he pretends he's asleep. In the third, Kurapika has an open-mouthed smile as he acquires the airship tickets for them, Leorio and Gon standing behind him. End ID.]

Look at him! He's so bright! So happy!

...too happy. Too happy to do what he promised himself he would do. And that's his biggest fear, isn't it. Without his rage... what is he left with?

[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 2. A close up of Kurapika's eye as he says "I do not fear death. What I fear is that my rage will one day fade away." End ID.]

Kurapika is far, far less mired in anger when he's with his friends. I actually dare to say that at certain points, he was able to go for lengths of time without thinking much about it - alternating between almost forgetting in one instance and being hit like a sledgehammer on exposure to a reminder in the next. This violent swing is... actually the beginnings of the natural process of healing from loss and trauma. But to Kurapika, who's made a promise to his people's memories, this is not a relief. This is betrayal.

I think that actually scares him, that he can almost picture it. A life beyond his guilt. That he, too, could learn to be happy, even after unimaginable loss.

And so, as Kurapika continues his mission offscreen, finding more and more gruesome reminders of the cruelty inflicted on his people and losing more and more pieces of himself in the process (in his own words, no less), he prioritizes his responsibility to them, and pushes away his distractions. He cannot be a soul at peace until his work is done; he must be in turmoil. He pushes people away who he cares for, and binds himself, and keeps his people's eyes on him, quite literally, because respite, for him, is unacceptable. Perhaps that guilty part of him even hopes, by the end of this, that his soul will be so unrecognizable as to be fundamentally unsalvageable. But the truth of the matter is, or at least what comes across to me, is that Kurapika cares much more fiercely than he hates. He knows what matters most. And for as long as he does, he still hasn't truly lost himself.

[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 350. Kurapika looks down at baby Woble with a gentle, yet complicated expression. The inking is somewhat softer. End ID.]

Kurapika's soul is kind, really. And it wants to heal - but for the sake of his mission, he needs it damaged and bleeding. And so, he forces himself to exist in that pain. All alone.

[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 344. Kurapika, dressed in a black suit, sits with his back to the reader, looking down at a photo in his hand. He is slumped a little before the church vigil he has prepared, all his clan's eyes lined up in their jars and honoured with flowers and candles. He thinks to himself "There is no home for me to return to... and nobody to welcome me back. I have nothing left." End ID.]

#thank you for coming to my ted talk on how kurapika is worsening his own mental health as well as physical health on purpose have a good day #oh my god this took me so long but it was worth it!!! #actual analysis!!! it's been so long!!! #anyways i'm far shakier on my hxh knowledge than other fandoms i've written meta for #so i hope this makes sense. i appreciate additions to it just please be polite! #i also believe that togashi's writing lends itself to multiple interpretations that are equally valid. so much of this #may be my own takeaway. but i do think there's enough evidence to support it #well. i hope you guys suffer... i mean enjoy. #storyrambles #hunter x hunter #hxh #hxh meta #kurapika #call me ace detective the way i am ace. and also a detective #<-analysis tag i missed you

[deoidesign]

Just some thoughts about recent WEBTOON discourse from an originals creator. I recognize my inherent bias in this situation.

But please recognize that saying "fuck you" to a company means supporting the workers, not making them out to be unfortunate suckers... "would have/could have/should have's" don't get people out of situations.

"I never would have signed with them" is an incredibly tone-deaf thing to say. "this is why you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket" is true, but it doesn't help people who are contractually obligated into exclusivity.

Most of us are making merch, running patreons, trying to get book deals, etc... and most of us aren't able to stop working and still pay our bills. we're trying. we'd all love to, but we can't.

If you really want things to be better, maybe try not putting down the people who are in the bad situation? it ends up feeling like people using our pain and mistreatment as an outlet to advertise themselves...

Our company is getting worse and worse by the year and we're risking a lot to talk about it! Please listen! The only power we have is complaining about things, and it's risky every time!

#I support people making their own sites #I HAVE my own site #I have a patreon #I sell books #I sell merch #I'm trying to market myself #and I've never made more than $400 in a month on my own on my comics #I cant drive and I cant work most jobs #I needed to leave an emotionally abusive situation #my company is getting worse and worse in ways that were completely unforseeable when I signed #which was YEARS ago #The current situation was NOTHING like it was then #so maybe dont act like you had future sight #its so rude #its so condescending... #this is my JOB #and we're risking a LOT to tell you about these things

[stephaniebrownthespoiler]

When people say that Cass really understands Bruce you have to get that they mean she REALLY understands Bruce

I would consider her and Dick to be the ones who understand him the best but Dick had to learn through years and years of being his partner

but Cass... she just like gets it in a way that none of the others really do

this is pretty soon into them knowing each other and she already intuitively knows that Bruce's anger is often just a mask for guilt/sadness which is something Dick probably took a while to figure out back in the day

I really wish DC would explore Dick and Cass more I would love to see Dick jealous of Cass and Bruce's relationship the same way he was with Tim

except it would be even more interesting because they're kind of a nature vs nurture debate with Cass understanding Bruce as her nature while Dick's understanding of him comes from the years they spent together

#cass being an empath is bs by the way it doesn't actually exist #she is not the emotional support for the batfam she is her own charecter #Dick and Cass are such an underated parallel i love them #dick grayson #cassandra cain #bruce wayne #this was a solo cass post but i couldn't resist the ✨parallels✨ #second's comic corner

[skyppl-e]

oh yeah.... im making aus now.... florist au but al haitham is a part time employee at the plant nursery tighnari owns and kaveh keeps running into him

#im very scared about talking about aus #since im not a writer... im a reader!!! shout out to all the fanfic authors you guys really carry me #also this is very obviously a modern au #in said au i like to imagine that when kaveh isnt actively drawing he wears compression gloves that double as normal art gloves theyre just #expensive as fuck so he tries not to get them dirtied in ink and graphite #in a similar vein al haitham owns 1 billion compression shirts cause comfy compression #i have a bunch of really specific and small headcanons tbh #ANYWAY ABOUT THE NURSERY PART #kaveh is a regular that likes to support his friends by buying way too many flowers he doesnt have the time to take care of :3 #also he buys samples to show clients when he has an idea involving flowers for decoration #collei also works there part time #also kaveh and al haitham knew each other in college but the Fallout(TM) happened so they stopped talking until they met again #met again in the nursery lol!!! #imagine being surrounded by carefully tended to flowers and trees and other flora while slowly falling in love #with the same guy that tore open your chest and peered directly into your soul #haikaveh #kavehtham #kaveh #alhaitham #genshin impact

[uncanny-tranny]

Social transition being seen (by some) as this super easy thing that isn't as hard as real transitioning (medical) is bullshit. Be critical of the idea that there are some trans people who just "have it easy" because they are trans or because they are trans in ways you may not be.

Social transition is just as difficult, hard, and rewarding as medical transition. Maybe it is not as hard for some, sure, but that is not the same as thinking that social transition is inherently easier or lesser. If you're socially transitioning, your voice still matters.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #not to mention that so many people DO want to medically transition but *can't* #so it can be even harder for some when they feel social transition is their only option when they don't want it to be #but social transition carries its own risks and challenges and again rewards #and i've seen this idea plenty where it's like 'oh you don't GET my struggles because you're SOCIALLY transitioning' #and while yes i am different than some trans people to say i'm struggling *more* if i'm the only one medically transitioning is??? huh???? #i don't buy into this idea that social transition is never scary because you don't have the boot of the medical system on your back #(though non-med or pre-med transitioning people still face issues in medical settings so even THEN we aren't seperate) #like there's very few ways you can separate my issues as a medically-transitioning person and the issues of somebody who isn't... #...and by that i mean there's few ways you can separate our issues so that mine trumps theirs or that i'm seen as like... trans but More #does that make sense? #medical transitioning is important but that doesn't mean it is *more* important or that only *it* is important #you can support us who are medically transitioning without erasing the experiences and struggles of other trans people #and plus... so many of us who are medically transitioning NOW are the people who socially transitioned THEN #and dare i say i despised social transition more because of how hard it was? medical transition has been (more or less) easier... #...in that i can just *be* now

[bl0rbohandbag]

the “Crowley is Malleus’ father” theory makes no sense simply because have you SEEN Crowley????

ARE Y’ALL IMPLYING THIS MAN IS BRIAR VALLEY NOBILITY??? THIS MAN PULLED MALLENOA??? THIS MAN LEFT TO GET MILK FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS WHILE MALLEUS WAS MARINATING INSIDE THAT EGG???

THAT GUY???????????

#took an entire new identity to avoid child support #wouldn’t Lilia have recognized him or does that mask have the Clark Kent effect? #but oh well considering he can’t even find MC a way home #not surprising he’d forget his own way home #but ON THE SAME NOTE!!! WHAT IF MC/YUU’s ARRIVAL AS WELL AS GRIM HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS ENTIRE THING #THERE HAS TO BE SOME SORT OF CONNECTION BETWEEN MC + GRIM + MALLEUS + CROWLEY #twst spoilers #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland #twst #dire crowley #twst crowley #malleus draconia #twst malleus #my posts

[canisalbus]

gothic lolita machete came to me in a dream

.

#HHWAH #but he unironically kind of makes it work though?? #I never realized that the leap from what he normally wears to gothic lolita would be this small #basically the same thing just a lot more lace and frills and embroidery #loving! the pomegranates! #it always makes me ecstatic when people find a way to include them or his other... symbols? motifs? objects of significance? #it's nice you kept the red gloves and red heels #the little crosses on the capelet and the stockings too hah #and the massive bow where the fascia would go #I support genderfuckery Machete by the way #his design and mannerisms have always been somewhat androgynous or at least that's what I've been trying to aim for #despite his sharp angular form he's supposed to have an aura of elegance and delicateness #at least on his better days when he's not in full rat man mode #given the choice he'd rather be called beautiful than handsome I'm pretty sure #folks have been mistaking him for a goth lesbian a whole lot lately so I can't be too far off #thank you this made me grin like an idiot when I opened the inbox #gift art #aggiepython #own characters #Machete

[deimcs]

insp. by this post by @bladeofavernus ♡ / (Shauna Barbosa, Cape Verdean Blues)

AN INSPIRED DECLARATION, BARDIC COLLEGE OF FOCHLUCAN. I honestly thought my time as an artist had come to an end and all hope for further inspiration was gone. I come from months of fruitless research and abandoned music sheets, any spark of creativity flickering and dying by the time my fingers touched the strings. I was lost and couldn't find my way back home when suddenly, destiny came knocking at my door. Quite literally, I may add. I went to stay at my aunt's cottage outside of the city to see if some peace and quite would do my muse any good and I had the fortuitous chance of offering shelter to a group of weary travelers. They surely were a lively bunch and while I had fun entertaining guests after such a long time spent alone, Tymora's gentle hand came to save me under the guise of a young couple of most curious nature. A tiefling and a devil, by all means a nightmarish union if you were to give the rumors any credits and yet. They spent the night sitting quietly next to each other, letting the others take turns in keeping the conversation alive. I didn't mean to pry but I was mesmerized by the softness of their touches, the tenderness of their gaze. At some point during the night, the young man drifted off to sleep leaning against the girl's shoulder, she raised a hand to caress his scarred face with such unmistakable devotion it almost moved me to tears. It reminded me why I started composing in the first place: to wonder about the nature of simple things like love and companionship. If I ever see them again, I hope they'll know this song is for them.

#bg3edit #gamingedit #wylledit #tavedit #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #tav x wyll #wyll ravengard #nimue of eldervine grove #edits #i haven't been able to stop thinking about that post since the first time i came across it #i hope it's okay i linked it here! let me know otherwise! #it's all about the resilient healing energy wyll projects and deserves poured back onto him for me #nimue utterly respects him admires him believes in him and supports him without stripping any of them of their own agency in doing so #she has complete faith in him cause they both grew up knowing it's always worth it to not give up and try again #i'm glad i went with her first for my wyll romance cause with tariel things are way messier in my head