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morally-grey-girlbosses · 7 months

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Arcee Propaganda Post

RAGE KILL MURDER ANGER SHE WILL KILL YOU SO BAD YOU WILL DIE AND DIE AGAIN. SHE TRANS'D HERSELF WHILE BEING WRITTEN BY A FEMALE-ROBOT-HATER AUTHOR SO HER TRANS REP SUCKED AT FIRST BUT GOT RETCONNED. HER METAL IS PAINTED THE COLOR OF BLOOD. SHE IS MURDEROUS AND KILLS YOU AND KILLS YOU AND KILLS YOU. SHE KISSES HER WIFE AND MURDERIZES POLITICAL FIGURES AND HER BROTHER. SHE'S MEAN. SHE'S CRUEL. SHE'S SO COOL. SHE 1V1S THE FURRY APOCALYPSE AND IS ONE OF THE FEW SURVIVORS. WOMAN SO MAD SHE TRAVELS THE ENTIRE GALAXY TO DESTROY HER DOCTOR AND EVERYTHING HE EVER CREATED BECAUSE HE TREATED HER LIKE AN OBJECT. SHE LOVES BEING A WOMAN. SHE HATED UNCOMFORTABLE WITH HER TRANSING. SHE'S A MESS. SHE'S GOT HER LIFE IN ORDER. GRAAAAAAAHAJSJFKCKKKKSKS

So insanely good at killing people that it’s kind of comedic. The first canon transgender Cybertronian (even if it was handled badly at first). The dude who helped her medically transition was shitty and unethical and also undead, so she spent six years doing nothing but killing him over and over again. Literally says “whatever the game, the easiest way to win is to kill all the other players.” but also gets good character development and a girlfriend. Queen of recovery and self care, even if her self care is repeatedly killing a dude for six years <3

Tl;dr, Arcee is one of the most violent characters in the entire IDW comics continuity, but she’s also an extremely compelling character and had a well-executed redemption arc, making her a worthy morally ambiguous girl boss. Plus, she’s canonically a trans lesbian.

Now for the rant…

Arcee is an ancient warrior, one of the oldest characters in the whole series BY A LOT (which is impressive, given that most of the characters are around 4-6 million years old), and the first female character introduced to the IDW comics continuity. I will admit right now, her introduction was an infamously rocky start to her character. See, when the IDW comics first began, the Transformers were conceptualized as a “genderless” species (i.e., every character was masc-presenting and used he/him pronouns). So, when Arcee was introduced, the author had to “justify” the existence of a “female” member of an asexual, genderless species. Here’s what he came up with (prepare for cringe):

Many millions of years ago, long before the Autobots and Decepticons we know and love ever existed, Arcee was a cis male (a “typical” Cybertronian), and he and his identical brother were both formidable warriors. In an effort to differentiate himself from his brother, Arcee sought out a famous scientist to surgically alter his appearance. This turned out to be a MASSIVE mistake. The scientist, Jhiaxus, forced Arcee to undergo an INVOLUNTARY GENDER REASSIGNMENT SURGERY, in an attempt to introduce gender into Cybertronian society. Why? Who knows. But the operation was so successful that everyone whom Arcee ever came across from that point forward would think of him as female and refer to him with she/her pronouns (despite having no pre-existing concept of gender). Basically Jhiaxus gave poor Arcee, still a cis man, a ride in the gender dysphoria machine and forced him into a female body. This, naturally, enraged Arcee and drove him a little insane, and he spent the next several million years hunting down Jhiaxus to make him pay.

So, at the time of Arcee’s introduction, he was actually a cis man trapped in a femme-presenting body (note, this doesn’t make him a trans man, since he was not born into this body). And Arcee, the character, stayed that way for YEARS. This, understandably, caused massive backlash from the fanbase, and at the VERY END of the comics’ decade-long run, Arcee’s backstory was retconned. Thanks to this retcon, in the current canon, Arcee was always a trans woman and went into the gender reassignment surgery willingly, but the procedure was extremely traumatic, and Jhiaxus abandoned Arcee as soon as it was over. Trauma from the procedure and some unexplained side effect that sent Arcee into a murderous rage for millions of years inspired her to hunt down Jhiaxus, driven by absolute hatred and the overwhelming desire to see him suffer. Arcee literally summarizes this as having been caused by “bad meds”. Honestly, idk if this is better or worse than the original story.

The retcon of Arcee always being a trans woman is helped by the fact that “cis” female Cybertronians were, in fact, introduced into the comics a few years after Arcee’s debut; they were absent from the earlier comics because, long ago, every single femme-presenting Cybertronian left Cybertron to go live on its colony worlds, which lost contact with Cybertron and faded into myth and legend soon after the exodus. This exodus didn’t have a huge impact on Cybertron’s population because female Cybertronians only existed at a 13:1 ratio in the global population, so the transformers left on Cybertron after the exodus forgot all about the existence of their female counterparts pretty soon after they lost contact with the colony worlds. So, the existence of female Cybertronians made it possible for Arcee to have been born a trans woman, rather than a cis man. But I digress.

So, Arcee spent millions of years on the warpath in her hunt for Jhiaxus and slaughtered literally anyone who got in her way. Or really, anyone who happened to be near her at the time. She was established as one of the most bloodthirsty, brutally violent characters in the entire comic continuity (which included actual genocidal warlords), and the in-universe reason for her pink paint job is that she painted herself the color of the transformers’ blood (gotta have a justification for the violent maniac to be painted the “girly” color). At some point, she had a run-in with the Autobots and was thrown in prison and had her soul separated from her body and locked away in a jar; in her introduction comic, Arcee states that being a soul, detached from a physical body and floating in a blank void, was the first time she was ever at peace since the operation, millions of years ago. Unfortunately for her, this peace was cut short, since the prison warden eventually shoved Arcee’s soul back into her body (which, at the time of publication, was the female body that her male soul had been forced into) and sent her to hunt down a mutual enemy. Eventually, Arcee did find Jhiaxus, and she was then trapped with him in a dimension that existed outside of time and space for several million years. During this time, Arcee relentlessly tortured Jhiaxus and killed him over and over in the most painful ways imaginable, only for him to be resurrected after each death.

I’ve honestly forgotten how Arcee and Jhiaxus got out of the time prison, but after they did, Jhiaxus was killed (for real this time) by someone else, Arcee assassinated a politician for a morally-ambiguous Autobot cop, and then, Arcee finally declared herself done with her eons-long murderous rampage. She eventually mellowed out and joined the Autobots for real, at which point she went from being an anti-hero to a more traditional (if still violent) heroine. During her time with the Autobots, she became one of Optimus Prime’s closest confidantes, befriended a number of humans and Autobots alike, and even fell in love with a young, idealistic colonist (one of the long-lost cis women I mentioned before) after Cybertron reestablished contact with the lost colony worlds. The two even shared the first on-page kiss in any transformers comic, which was pretty groundbreaking, since it was between two lesbians (one of whom was a trans woman). After a very, very long life, filled with pain and suffering and violence, Arcee was given a fully realized redemption arc and finally got her happy ending. Thanks to the retcon making her a trans woman and not a mutilated cis man, she’s a girlboss through and through.

#propaganda #arcee #transformers arcee

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gutsfics · 2 years

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thomas hunt mpreg moments REAL not clickbait and Honeymoon please !! +any other(s) you’re super excited about

oh if i talk about all the ones i'm super excited about we'll be here all day lol thats like. basically all of them lmao

Honeymoon is kind of just thoughts right now, I did start writing it but I'm not super pleased with how the first draft went so I'm gonna start another draft hopefully soon. but.

As the name implies, it'll be about Thomas and Avalon's honeymoon. Avalon plans it, and the whole thing is a surprise to Thomas. The first two days are a hike up to a special campsite Avalon found. I have this headcanon that while Thomas doesn't mind the outdoors, he's not very interested in hiking/camping, so he's definitely just Putting Up With It for his mountain(of a)man husband who loves camping. The "special campsite" Avalon found is a beautiful lakeside cabin, similar to one Thomas used to own (I headcanon that he's Canadian and he used to have a little cabin on the Okanagan Lake back when there weren't that many cabins on the lake. RCD Hunt has sold it, but HWU Hunt still has it)

thomas hunt mpreg moments REAL not clickbait is actually the fic you requested! I think the real title of it was/is going to be something like Regardless Of How. It's specifically for prompt 2, and I will be doing a separate fic for prompts 1 and 9, bc it's already longer than I intended and I feel like prompts 1 and 9 fit hand and hand. also for a specific plot reason.

It's about Thomas and Avalon realizing that actually, no, HRT does not work as a contraceptive for trans men despite what the doctor that prescribed his HRT to him said (he started his transition after graduating high school, in the 90s, so medical misinformation regarding trans men was kind of to be expected)

I've gotta admit, writing this one has made me realize that while I do really like Thomas and Avalon as dads, I don't think it really fits for my RCD story. Partially because of specific things happening which would make them both feel like yeah, maybe we shouldn't be parents, but also because that standard, heteronormative American Dream 2.5 Kids just in general doesn't feel right for them. So them having kids will be a noncanon (to my writing) AU. I'm wayyy too attached to Teddy and Chanterelle to just... not write them at all

as for the other ones I'm excited about, I'm gonna try to keep this short and sweet:

It Won’t Get Better (But It Won’t Get Worse) is my RCD But Avalon Is A Character In It rewrite fic. Avalon and Thomas are exes who come back into each other's lives to work on The Last Duchess. It's worth noting that 1) Avalon does not take the place of the RCD MC, she is still her own person, and 2) the topics that RCD 2 tried to cover (and similar topics-i.e. fatphobia in Hollywood) will be plot-relevant. I think trying to rewrite RCD while glossing over those topics the same way that PB did would just be... wrong. However, my intentions with this fic will be to focus on the recovery and the things that Montmarte does will happen off screen. They will be talked about between characters, but they won't be described in depth. I will tag and warn accordingly for every chapter. Despite what the title and what I've said here may imply, it won't be grimdark with no happy ending. Things will get better.

aaaaaaaand Blister In The Sun is a rewrite of Austin's route, except my mc, Harvy, falls in love with Bennie the second the meet each other. It's shitty people being absolutely terrible at being in love with each other, plus also correcting Ludia's decision to try and make Bennie be both some genius criminal mastermind and the dumbest man alive at the same time (spoiler alert: It was the cops behind it all!)

#long post #Red Carpet Diaries

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strangermask · 1 month

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Aight ya know what? I’m gonna say this now cuz I will forget later.

First elemental masters canon facts!

They all were queer. They didn’t really know it at the time because the LGBT was not officially coined as words/community until many years later. It’s a new world and the beginning of Ninjago (plus “before time had a name” era), so everything was new and unexplored. Gender identity and sexuality included

But they were all still queer af. Just because gay and trans wasn’t a word yet don’t mean they never existed throughout history

And now to say what their sexuality + gender identity are.

Starting with Master of Lightning, Yoshimochi. This man is gay. And I mean heavily gay. He had a crush on Yukito, Sai, and Akiharu, and he didn’t even realize until way later in the departed realm. There were a few times he got flustered and stuttered of he saw a handsome man, but he mostly blamed it on nerves (he ain’t completely wrong). But he thought the feelings he held were strong platonic love, until gay/homosexual became an offical word and then Yoshimochi went: “Well fuck, this would have been helpful to know when I was alive.”

Now onto the Master of Earth, Akiharu. This dude is a trans man. He was born a girl and before he transitioned into a man, he lived with his parents. That is until there was a house fire that left him an orphan on that streets. In the beginning, he noticed that boys and men had more leeway than girls and women. Especially on the streets. So he decided to pretend to be a boy to help himself. But as years went by, he realized that he actually liked being a boy and being referred as such.

Does his team know? Yes, he accidentally revealed it while they were stranded. But he was accepted cuz hey, life is hard plus you’re happy. It’s not hurting us. Small lil facts, since Akiharu did not have the tools we have today to transition, he improvised his. He practiced lowering his voice to pass as a man, and he used medical bandages to bind. At least he used to do that until the Master of Reality (oc, not canon to the show) saw that wasn’t the best for Akiharu’s ribcage and lungs. So the Master of Reality gave Akiharu top surgery. Does it make sense, not really. But Reality is not letting his friend die from chest problems.

Oh, Akiharu is also pansexual. He thought finding everyone attractive was normal cuz everyone is hot. Especially Queen of the Departed. That’s his lover and he will gush about her + how lucky he is to have her.

Now onto the Master of Fire, Sai. Bisexual serpentine. And while his father was an asshole, the serpentine actually had more leeway on who they could love. They didn’t really believe in having people match them with someone compatible, you just love who your heart tells you to. It was common to find two women in love and two men in love. Sometimes the women even hand off their egg offsprings to other family who can’t kids. Now because of this, Sai did not see a problem with who his teammates found attractive. This was the norm for him.

Now, finally, the Master of Ice, Yukito. He doesn’t really have a gender. He just exists. He is more masc leaning and uses masculine terms, but his gender is just nonexistent. He is demisexual as well. When he first met his companions, he didn’t open or express himself to them. They were just mortals who happened to have elemental powers like him. That is until they complete their first adventure together, and he begins to grow a fondness for them. And that fondness grew into falling in love that he also mistook for platonic feelings.

With all that, I reiterate

If these guys did not marry their wives and they weren’t in the “before time had a name” era, they would have married each other.

Thank you for coming to My Ted talk

#ninjago #mask talks #first elemental masters #first elemental master

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chargetheintruder · 7 months

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(Personal, Long) This is why I can't use 9-1-1 currently.

Yes, there's the issue of not being able to call for an ambulance for my health concerns without involving the police. The last 3 times I tried to get an ambulance I got cops instead, and while they weren't hostile they were, you know, police, not medical personnel, and then there had to be a second wait FOR the ambulance. And the sad part of that is, that's a fairly GOOD outcome for the United States: too often you dial 9-1-1 and what you get is Death on Wheels as Officer Trigger-Happy and his boyfriend, Officer Panic Attack, show up locked, loaded and dogs off the leash. Everyone's hyped up, but it's for the wrong reasons, to say the least. Too many police show up with a "who do I kill?" mindset versus a "who do I help?" one.

But this one runs deeper than that. More on that below the break.

I've had fairly serious health issues now for years. I've just had to sit there and watch in horror as my life's fallen apart, piece by piece as I've become more of a shut-in due to my bladder, prostate and colon issues becoming a constant and life-wrecking hassle. No sleep, no real chance to maintain laundry, no endurance left to get out there and do things with, and yeah, having the COVID-19 pandemic and its dysfunction to work around has been a mixed blessing at best.

But the main thing of it is this. I was forced to move across town and nearly completely out of zipcode in 2019. I've been banished from a centrally-located neighborhood in my town to being nearly in the boonies in the town next door--now I'm about 3 miles away from the bulk of my healthcare and I have neither a car or the license to legally drive one. There's mass transit bus service, sure, and that takes an hour's ride plus a walk to get to many places near Carle Hospital in town. So basically, I have no transportation I can reliably use to get to places without a longer trip than what my lower-body will tolerate.

So I did, a few times, have to use an ambulance service to get there to try to get help. And I got dumped by the Emergency Ward--basically given minimal meds/help and then told to "walk it off" and "go home" on foot, once late at night, once during the day, both times without even being told what bus routes run out to the place, or what my options were in terms of transportation home (and what I'd be billed for those). And yes, dumping happens, it's a thing:

And the last three times weren't any better. I got help with bus route info exactly ONCE from a specific nurse who even helped me make sure I had bus fare, but if she hadn't been there, nobody else would have been. The next one doesn't count--it was on my birthday 2 years ago and like an idiot, I admitted my physical health issues were emotionally distressing, and making me crazy. This got me put out to the Psychiatric Ward for my birthday, and then 6 days-ish of my being treated like dirt in the name of CBT exercises and enforcing obedience to Nurse #Karen. Although to be fair, EVERYONE in the Ward was being treated like dirt, half-starved by the lack of medically ordered dietary options, half-left to rot for want of access to hygiene goods, and a lot of us were left to fend for ourselves (and wait our turns for the most aggressive people to get done and get out of the way already). Point being, I got no help for the physical issues (I couldn't and they wouldn't), but I did at least get a ride home, after a colossal hassle.

Third time? Look, one side effect of the urinary tract business is that I get water issues (swelling, pain, bloating) in my feet and lower legs. I can't always stand and walk a lot. So I did get pushy ONCE and insist on a ride home on a "bill me later?" basis, since a) I don't have a smartphone for Uber purposes, and b) offering me an Uber home might have been a HIPAA (privacy act) violation on top of that. So I now owe a back debt (some 6 months old) of $36 bucks to the ambulance service. Meaning that won't work again, but at the same time, I didn't have to "walk it off" and dead-reckon/waddle my way home either like an unhinged duck trying to avoid being Duck Hunted By Police Helicopter. (all while hoping I don't pee myself all over the Mass Transit bus trying to get home from Downtown Urbana, ugh)

My point is? I've been dumped by Carle facilities at least twice. I also know going the Mental Health route won't work since it won't get me even trivial aid for the bladder/prostate issues. They'll just accuse me of being a drunk and/or uncooperative and go into Prison Warden Mode.

When here's the truth: the week of my birthday last month, during the night of August 17th into the day of the 18th, I had a CYST pop audibly in my urethra, inside of my literal penis. I had planned to do something about my student loans the tail end of August, but instead I had to spend the next 2 weeks biting down volcanic pain and taking store-brand over-the-counter stuff to keep myself out of sepsis and to take the edge off of the pain.

And there's at least two more CYSTS where that came from: one in my urethra, a second lying quietly on top of my bladder. A simple ultrasound could detect them both. But nah. I had the CT scan done, and now people insist on shoving robot probes up my butt (colonoscopy) and up my urethra (cystoscopy, yes, even with cysts present) with minimal doses of over-the-counter numbing agent, because By God, Mandated Suffering, I've Gotta Be AWAKE For This Shit, said no one BUT the insurer. Nobody but the right-wingers at Carle and Aetna actually want this. There's probably laws on the books keeping a Veterinarian from shoving robot probes into Dogs and Horses without knocking them out first, but nah, people are fair game.

But yeah. I have cysts, acting a lot like tumors. But Carle is like SETI. According to SETI, "It's not aliens because it's NEVER ALIENS, It's always DUST." Carle is "It's not Cancer because it's NEVER CANCER, because you're too fucking poor to help with that." Well, not unless you want robot probes shoved up your junk while you're being forced to be awake and watch your own torture.

If only I had the spare money to throw into having a bodily MRI done that I could submit INSTEAD OF the Robot Probing. But nah, that would be cheating, and expensive:

But mainly it would be Cheating right-wingers and #Karens out of their chances to gloat and chuckle over how "they get to suffer." And by suffer I might mean exploding cysts, and also having to deal with butt-seizures every time I fart or drop bowel, and near-constant blockage issues happening between the colon, prostate and bladder in there. Really, my life's been ruined for a couple of solid years already. I've already BEEN made a neutered shut-in by this condition, so Nurse #Karen and her radical feminist buddies can party and gloat and laugh right up until I Bite The Dust.

What am I saying? I have flagrant cysts. I do NOT feel good. I'm exhausted and in constant pain. I have anywhere from a few days to a few weeks left to live, and this isn't intentional on my part. My shoes are worn out and I don't have decent clothes left for a final trip to the hospital anyway. When the landlords kicked me out of town and Carle made all of this so difficult, they both sentenced me to death, and for what, being a townie on their precious Campus? :p

Something like that. I say that because I have to block a LOT out of my mind and make whole days and weeks a Blank Space just to NOT be traumatized by "everything, all the time" the way some folks say I am. I already have to block out and/or de-escalate from a lot as it is.

But yeah, I might be involuntarily dead or something, sooner than I'd like to be. Whether it's a few days or a few weeks, I don't know, but it doesn't feel so good, particularly around where my kidneys are. Things have gotten WORSE-worse. I will hang in as long as I can, but I can't promise miracles.

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thesymbiotecollective · 2 years

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We. Are Symbiote.

꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦

Welcome to the Symbiote Collective's introduction post! We've never really been on Tumblr in an open system way so I figured what the hell, might as well branch out.

We support traumagenic systems and traumagenic systems ONLY. If we at all find that there is an "endo" interacting with us, or a supporter interacting with us, You will be blocked and reported. /srs

Now onto more light facts about us.

We are bodily 18

We are mixed race

We are autistic and need tone tags

We are trans and working towards medical transition (ftm)

Many of us use xenogenders and neopronouns

Our dms are open

We are most active on discord currently

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System information

System name:

The Symbiote Collective

System tag (pk):

|| 🧪🕸

Alter Count:

Approximately 96

Notes:

Decently fictive heavy

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Boundaries

DNI:

Reality Checkers, Anti-MOGAI, Endo "Systems" and their supporters, Transphobes, Homophobes, "P3d0 B41t" creeps, Pedophiles. (You're not a "MAP" You're a pedo), Transmeds, Cringe blogs, People who genuinely use and accept the terms "Proshipper" or "Antishipper"

System-Wide Triggers:

Dogs, Smoking, Alcohol, Yelling, Cults, Drugs, Source Drama

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🧪🕸 Extras 🕸🧪

Frequent fronters:

Matthias

Pronouns: Zae/Zaem plus many sets of neopronouns

Species: Kitsune

Role: Host

Sign off: 🦊

Mettaton

Pronouns: Sparkle/Love/Light/Glow/Shine/Star

Species: Ghost inhabiting Robot

Role: Cohost

Sign off: 🌟

Susie

Pronouns: She/Stab/Gore/Blood

Species: Human

Role: Host

Sign off: 🩸

Dewdrop

Pronouns: He/Ghoul

Species: Nameless Ghoul

Role: Social Alter

Sign off: 💧

Toby

Pronouns: He/Him

Species: Human

Role: Protector

Sign off: 🪓

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Thank you for reading our pinned introduction! We will make our individual introductions as we front and feel comfortable! This is a side blog, so if you'd like to talk, please dm us, as we will not be able to dm you first.

#system #syscourse #did alter #did #system intro #system info #traumagenic only #traumagenic did #traumagenic safe #non traumagenic dni #traumagenic system #endos do not interact #endos dni #endos dont exist #endos dni and die

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mcnamedsix · 3 years

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Hello Six, I saw your post about writing for OM so I hope you don't mind me dropping in ;v; could I get the brothers reacting to am MC who has decided to cut off their hair? I've been going through a gender identity crisis and it made me feel better to chop off most of my hair and I was wondering if they would still like me or not :')

hii! as someone who did that, a personal note: hair grows, and if you don't like it short it can grow back! you should definitely go for it! now, to the headcanons!

Demon Brothers seeing MC chopping off their hair

Lucifer:

At first, he only sees the hair chopped and thinks it's a practical thing.

After all, shorter hair is easier to maintain, easier to wash, to dry, to keep it neat.

So he of course tells you you look wonderful and moves on. He likes how it looks, you seem happy, it's none of your business.

If you tell him you cut it off for gender confusion reasons, he will be more attentive.

He will make sure to stop gendered language with you altogether, unless you specifically want him to use a certain gender as your preferred.

He will teach you how to style your hair, specially if you want it to look more masculine. He has a soft spot for more elegant and formal styles.

If you do end up coming out as transmasc or nonbinary, he will be taking you to buy new clothes, and he will definitely help if you want to medically transition.

Overall, this man is the Avatar of Pride in every way possible. He wants you to feel good about yourself, to love yourself fully, and he will do whatever you need to hell you reach that point.

Mammon:

This boy is head over heels about you. If let your hair grow to your feet, or shave it, or chop it, or even have a monk haircut, he will love it because of how much he loves you.

It will be like pulling teeth to get him to admit it, tho. He will look at you and go "ya liked my hair so much you decided to copy it, huh, MC?"

If he notices you're hesitant about it, he will hype you up, however. He also wants you to feel your best.

If you asked for his help he will be over the moon, but he will destroy your hair. Keep him away from scissors.

The moment he finds out it's gender questioning, he will be all over you, asking about names and pronouns, all things you might wanna try it out.

He wants to take you out to get new clothes, binders, pride merch, all he can. It's part wanting to spend some money and part wanting to support you.

In the end of the day, he just wants you to feel happy and whole. He is your first guy, he will always want your best.

Plus, your new hair is very stimmy. He cannot stop petting it!

Leviathan:

He knows exactly what's going on from the moment you show your hair. He wants so badly to tell you he understands, that he feels the same, that he has questioned himself and his identities many times.

But he is the most awkward person alive, it comes out as "a normie haircut for a normie" and he wants to dig a hole and stick his head on the ground.

Once he takes his foot off his mouth, however, he is your biggest hypeman.

He will find every videogame and anime character that is trans, every gender non conforming, even characters that questions their gender.

He will try any pronoun or name you want, and he will suggest names he thinks you might like.

He tends to shove his nose in your hair when you're cuddling him, so having it shorter makes this easier for him.

He ends up doing a lot of research on the internet so he goes from mildly confused to expert in two days.

Overall, he's trying his best, and he will do anything he can, even if he's very awkward in the beginning.

Satan:

He loves your new hair! He will tell you outright, and he will be excited for your new look. He isn't particularly loud about it, but he will be honest about how much he likes it.

If you tell him you chopped it off for gender issues, he will be sympathetic to you.

This man has questioned every little bit of his identity, as he feels like he is lesser as a subset of Lucifer. He has definitely questioned his gender, therefore, he's been there.

He will be quoting Simone de Beauvoir to you: "you aren't born a woman, you become one." He will specially stress how this turns on any gender, how socialization plays a big part on how you are gendered, and he will ramble on and on about how gender works if you let him.

Surprise. He's well versed in gender theory. He has read every book about LGBT experiences he could get his hands on.

He's another one who's trying out pronouns, names, clothing, terms with you. He is excited you trust him in this journey.

Overall he treats gender and sexuality as fluid and natural, and you will never find him confused when talking about gender and sexuality issues. He's got your back.

Asmodeus:

He is immediately squealing about your hair! Oh, you look soo adorable. You look so nice with this cute hair... He wants to style it in so many ways.

Oh, you are having gender issues? Asmo will hear you out. You will be sitting there, with a face mask while he does mani and pedi for you, and you will pour your heart out for him.

At some point, you might notice he is quiet, even if he hasn't stopped treating you right. You ask if he's okay, and...

"You can do that??"

Congratulations, you gave Asmo a lot to think about.

He isn't the most confirming man, as he is a man in the sense of that was was given to him. Giving him options will get him to actually question it.

You two will probably go through it together, trying out new things, and turns out, Asmo is nonbinary! None gender with left boy, apparently.

No matter where you end up in the gender spectrum, he will always support you as he loves you for who you are.

He will also be incredibly thankful to you helping him out with that! He will spoil you endlessly for helping him figure out a bit more about himself.

Beelzebub:

He didn't notice the hair first. He noticed how happier you looked, and that made him smile too. Then you showed off your hair.

He fell in love with you again.

He thinks it looks so sweet on you, he just wants to pet you and he is all awwing, then you tell him about why you cut your hair.

He feels really bad about the idea you'd feel so confused and anguished. He decides then and there he will help you get it over as quickly as you can.

He will be trying out names and pronouns, get you new clothes, getting you aids like binders, he will be doing research, everything he can.

You will have to tell him this takes some time and he can't rush it.

He takes you to work out with him to see if that takes your mind off things, will get you delicious food. Everything to comfort you.

Once you get to an understanding, he will be cheering with you. Your happiness is his prime objective, even if he can't quite understand how you're feeling.

Belphegor:

He is ecstatic about your haircut.

When you cuddle him, if you are the small spoon, your hair is usually got into his nose, so a short hair is way better for that.

If you tell him why you cut your hair, he will have a moment of confusion, then launch on questions.

He wants to know how you think so he can help you out on figuring it out.

Reading can be exhausting to him, so he ends up watching a lot of deviltube videos about transgender people, but will always put your experiences first.

He pretends like he doesn't care, but he would do anything to make you happy. Therefore he's always looking for ways to make you more comfortable about yourself.

Whenever you end up on the spectrum, he will not mind. You're his companion, so he just wants you to be with him, at your happiest and more comfortable.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #lucifer x mc #mammon x mc #leviathan x mc #satan x mc #asmodeus x mc #beelzebub x mc #belphegor x mc #six writes

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tg-headcanons · 3 years

Note

Do you have any headcanons for how trans male ghouls choose new names for themselves? Like why they use the kanji that they do for their names and the adjusting period that comes with a new name? :) <3

YES YES I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT TRANS GHOULS AND YOURE GONNA HAVE TO HEAR ALL OF THEM

Ghouls in general are very accepting of queer people. Really bigotry is a human thing because humans have laws to protect those assholes, but ghouls don’t and if they talk shit they get fucking murdered, so by now they’ve long since left that stuff behind because literally all it did was get people killed over nothing. Socially at least, being trans among ghouls is easier than being trans among humans

Ghouls often need to change their names, whether it’s because the CCG found them or they need to find a better hunting territory, identities are edited a lot. In most cases they identify more with their mask identity than their name since the mask stays constant but the name doesn’t, and it’s the basis for how one identifies. Many ghouls find out someone is trans through hearsay about their ghoul persona. Like when Koma started identifying as a man, there was a whole lot of “The devil ape took over the entire sixth ward, he- yeah his name is enji now, anyway-“

Many ghouls can’t read, many don’t have access to books and computers, and many just straight up don’t care much. So when it comes to picking names it’s a case by case basis. Some just choose whatever sounds nice, others make up words or use random nouns, and others spends days combing through meanings and symbols until they find the one that’s perfect. As for kanji and spellings, well, only the ones that can read can do that. Even the literate ones may not have actually learned all the meanings of kanji, so when they write up their names with what they could Google it tends to seem a little off

There’s some issues that come up with ghouls that don’t for humans, such as how they can’t change the gender they’re theorized to be at the CCG and they can’t get HRT through regular doctors. There’s also some advantages, like how you can’t have a birth certificate with a gender that doesn’t match if you don’t have a birth certificate! And how the respiration of their kagune makes it easier to fight and maneuver while binding

There are ghoul-specific ways of changing gender presentations. Female ghouls tend to have fleshier kagune while males tend to have sharper whippy kagune, and transitioning ghouls may practice shaping their kagune until it naturally takes a skinnier or fleshier shape. Theres also different social norms, male ghouls tend to be more docile while female ghouls tend to be more territorial, so many practice the mannerisms. There’s also smells, so an ftm ghoul may borrow blood from a male ghoul or an mft would borrow blood from a female ghoul to apply like perfume. It wouldn’t completely cover up their scent but it would tinge it enough that other ghouls would recognize a vague masculine or feminine air

It’s very difficult for ghouls to medically transition since going to a doctor can be a death sentence, they of all humans would figure out what they are and turn them in. Because of that, there’s an assumed “whatever’s going on with their body is just how it is, they know what they’re about and if I challenge that they’re in the right to throw hands” policy. Luckily ghouls are so chill about gender that if they see their bro changing or something and notice different parts than they expected, it’s about as big a deal as seeing a birth mark. Just a “hey that’s a thing your body has, cool” and not much more. They all have medical stuff pop up that they can’t get taken care of so no one judges trans people who are pre-transition any more than they judge someone with a chipped tooth who can’t afford to get it fixed

That said, when they can transition, they take well to it. Many brands of hormones don’t work on them so there’s only a handful that they can use, but it tends to go well. Their bodies will fight against it at first, but once the doses are in their system long enough, the body pretty much says “well this must be some part of the genetic code we skipped my bad fam i’ll go do that” and gets ingrained in everything. There’s the obvious changes that any human would have, as well as More Ghoul Stuff. Ftm kagune getting thinner and mtf getting thicker, scents changing to reflect their gender, even slight changes to the bone structure as the regenerative ability gets used to the treatment. Over time their homeostasis becomes nearly indistinguishable from a cis person of the same gender. If they’re one of the very lucky few who has access to ghoul surgeons, top/bottom surgeries are even easier. As long as the surgery happens when they’re just hungry enough to be able to scar, by the time they recover their body will be set to regenerate in the way they want it to. Plus since they have the regenerative ability, it allows them to have better control over proportions since they can be supplied with meat during the surgery to grow as little or as much tissue as they need. Anyway congrats to Kanae on the 8 inch d-

Medical stuff aside, ghoul society is very accepting to trans people regardless of how they came about their identity, if they medically transitioned (or want to), or who they are. Human sounding names mean much less than the ghoul persona, so all anyone needs to do is rethink how they think of someone. “She’s terrifying! Oh Is the devil ape a man now? Okay than he’s terrifying!” It’s not something they give much thought to, because it doesn’t matter what their name or gender is, only one thing matters: how likely are they to fucking kill you? No one’s gonna be disrespecting pronouns when they’re running for their lives, and that’s made ghouls an accepting bunch

#tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul headcanon #tw medical #koma is a trans man because I say so

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hellomynameisbisexual · 3 years

Text

“QUEER”

First of all, let’s clear up a common misconception. Queer does not just mean gay. It’s an umbrella term for an identity which deviates from society’s perceived norm: heterosexual, or straight. Queer can refer to sexualities — gay, bisexual, pansexual, — or it can refer to being gender-queer; i.e, any label that deviates from the perceived gender norm: the binaries, male and female.

“Queer” is a reclaimed slur.

If you do not fall under the umbrella of queerness, it is safe to assume that you cannot use it. At all.

I am bisexual.

This means I experience attraction to plural genders. Pansexual also works fine. For the difference between bisexual and pansexual — see here:

Being bisexual isn’t easy. I went through similar hardships to gay women: I experienced attraction to women and was scared of what this meant for me, in such an oppressively homophobic society.

I am not saying being bisexual is harder than being gay, nor the inverse. But my experiences are distinctly bisexual, not gay.

Without further ado, here are the 3 things I’ve found to be the hardest about being queer, but not gay (enough).

#1: Finding My Place

Or, not being queer enough

I always knew I wasn’t straight, but I didn’t know what I was. Up until recently, I was still questioning. This didn’t feel enough to join groups or conversations with LGBT+ folk, let alone go to pride. Was I even LGBT if I was never L, G, B, or T?

I am still yet to attend a pride, even though I identify (fairly confidently) as bisexual. I am in a relationship with a man. This is (problematically) known as a “straight-passing relationship” and makes me feel even more undeserving of a place at pride.

This has been upsetting to me at times. But for others, it can be outright devastating. Growing up and needing support, but feeling like you’re ‘not gay enough’ to ask for it? So many young people are being left alone and afraid. Finding others like you is vital to figuring out who you are. Likewise, finding spaces which are safe and inclusive is vital for anyone, regardless of their sexuality or gender identity. A friend of mine happens to be a transgender man, and he summed up the issue perfectly:

“One thing that I keep noticing is how all hangout spots are “gay bars”, or (far less common) “lesbian bars”. I’m a straight man, so I don’t feel like I’m supposed to be there, but hanging out at regular bars is still too much of a gamble, so I don’t really have anywhere to go.”

It goes without saying that gay folk aren’t always safe in these spaces, as seen by the homophobic attack on the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, in 2016. Bigotry hurts the entire LGBT+ community. Bigotry doesn’t stop to ask whether you identify as gay or otherwise queer before it pulls the trigger.

But the LGBT+ community itself is much more welcoming to those who “pick a side” and just come out as gay, already. The infighting is inexplicable when one looks to attacks such as that in Orlando: bigots don’t care which letter you are in the acronym. So why does gatekeeping exist when we need to be strong in the face of intolerance when fragmentation only makes us weaker? Who are we helping by continuing to exclude identities from the discussion?

#2: Myths and Misconceptions

Well, it stands to reason that if bisexuals are what they seem in TV and movies, why would anyone want to make them feel included? They’re “greedy” and inauthentic. They’re attention-seeking, not to mention their propensity for threesomes. Now, I haven’t been in a wild orgy yet, but it seems like it will only be a matter of time before I follow my natural path.

Straight men, in particular, need to own up to their assumption that bisexual women are down for a threesome. The thing is, we are. But not with you, you big ASSUMER.

Infidelity

All jokes aside, the stereotyping of bisexuals is not only hurtful, but leads to difficulties finding and maintaining relationships.

As I came to terms with my bisexuality, I also had to accept that I might never be fully trusted by my partner, regardless of their gender or sexuality. I was shocked when my partner reacted to my coming out with the equivalent of a shrug — so much so, that I burst into tears of gratitude that my soul-bearing moment hadn’t been met with slut-shaming or assumptions of disloyalty. Nothing has changed. If anything, our bond is even stronger for me having been more authentic after coming out.

But cruelty came from elsewhere: when I came out, I was told that my partner was to be pitied, either because I’m gay and in denial, or bound to cheat on him. The main consequence of such attitudes has been the crippling fear of coming out to my partner. It saddens me that I felt so relieved when he accepted me for being who I am, and loving him just the same as I always have.

This outcome is not the case for many couples, with straight folk worried that their bisexual partner will realise they’re gay and just leave them. This fear of abandonment comes from a place of ignorance. When the media presents bisexuality as a steppingstone on the way to “picking a team”, it’s no wonder that people struggle to trust their queer partners.

Other Queer Myths

The myth that all trans folk medically transition invalidates those who choose not to do so, and let’s not forget the ignorant jeers that it's all just a mental illness. Asexual folk battle the stereotype that they can never have a relationship and shall forever remain a virgin (because what an awful thing that would be, right?) And pansexuals… well, at the lighter end, they’re asked if they have sex with cooking utensils. But often, they’re erased as irrelevant because “we already have the label bisexual”.

This brings us onto the third and final difficulty that comes with queer folk who aren’t easily categorizable as gay: erasure.

#3: Erasure

Erasure refers to the denial of an identity’s existence or its validity as a label.

Non-binary folk face ongoing and loud claims that they simply do not exist. This is despite the historical and scientific evidence to the contrary. Plus, the most important evidence — them, existing. Asexual folk are told they simply have not found the right person yet, or that they are just afraid of sex. Demi-sexual folk are told “everyone feels like that, unless they’re just sleeping around!”. And bisexuals are dismissed as simply being in denial that they’re gay.

Monosexuality & The Gender Binary

Our culture is so built on monosexuality (being solely attracted to one gender — for instance, gay or straight). Monosexuality is reinforced through everything from marriage to dating apps, the media to what we teach in schools. People cannot fathom that someone might want to experience more than one gender in their lifetime.

The binary models of sex and gender are also deeply ingrained. These rigid belief systems combined are to blame for our inability to accept that bisexuals do not need to “pick a side”. I was paralysed by fear for 17 years because I found girls attractive and that might mean I’m gay, because bisexuals are just gays who haven’t realised they’re gay yet.

Bierasure

Bierasure is dangerous, firstly because it leads a child to have to internalise both biphobia and homophobia. For instance, I had to work through being taught to hate gayness, whilst being taught that any attraction to non-male genders made me gay.

Women were cute, and so I was gay, and this meant I was disgusting.

My own mother told me this. She also told me that something has “gone wrong in the womb” for a child to be gay. (Well, Mum, I’ve got some bad news about your womb!)And she, like any bigot, extended this theory to anyone who experiences same-sex attractions — anyone queer. This is another reason why bi-erasure is perilous. Whether you’re a gay, cis-male or a demi-bisexual, trans woman… if your parents will kick you out for being gay, they will likely kick you out for being any sort of queer.

If we deny the bigotry that bisexuals undergo, we will continue to suffer. It won’t just go away. It will fester, with bisexuals having no one they can go to who believes them. And thus:

Erasure Kills

Bullying and suicide rates of queer-but-not-gay people continue to sky-rocket. We must direct funding, support and compassion to every queer individual, as they are all vulnerable to discrimination and bullying. The problem is being left to fester. This is in part because bigots treat all queer labels as just ‘gay’, deeming them equally unworthy. This is how far erasure can go.

Conclusion

Earlier on, I stated that my experiences are distinctly bisexual. The same applies to any queer identity.

Emphasising our differing paths and struggles is important to avoid the aforementioned erasure of already less visible groups. But this does not mean that the LGBT+ community should be fragmented by these differences.

If we can unite in our hope to live authentically and love freely, we will be stronger against bigotry. We are fighting enough intolerance from without: there is no need to create more from within.

So out of everything, what’s the hardest part about being bisexual?

It’s the fact that nobody knows it’s this hard.

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canyouhearthelight · 3 years

Text

The Miys, Ch. 129

Despite the last couple weeks of work being profoundly exhausting (think 60 hours, easily), I am proud that I’ve been able to keep writing and stay ahead! I literally could not have done that without @baelpenrose, @charlylimph-blog, @the-raven-fae, and @anotherusrname. Y’all are my real-world rocks when everything gets crazy.

***Shameless Plug: @the-raven-fae has the first episode of the podcast up now! you can find it here!! ***

The other thing that has been keeping me going is each and every one of you who has found this story and binged it from start to finish as a speed-run. I can’t even name all of you at this point, but I want you all to know that I see it, and it makes me smile so hard my face hurts.

Now, who is ready for some Charly shenanigans?

A few days later, I had just enough time to sweep dinner off the table in my quarters before Charly unceremoniously dropped a long something in the midst of us with a dull thud. Immediately, a rusty red cloud rose up and set us all into a fit of tears and coughing.

Out in the hallway, I was eventually able to convince my lungs to at least try to breathe long enough to wheeze out, “Geezus, Charly, what the hell was that?”

“Soooo….” Uh oh. “ItmayneedsomecalibrationthecloudwasntsupposedtobethatbigandIdidntmeanforittogooffbut - “

I shook my head and typed a quick message on my datapad. “Please breathe because right now I don’t think the rest of us can and I would love to know why.”

She stopped rushing out what I think were words long enough to read the message and try again. “Chili powder arrows. I think I need to recalibrate them, though, because it shouldn’t have gone off at less than one hundred and twenty kilometers per hour, and there’s no way I set it down that hard.”

“Why?” I rasped, still swallowing as hard as I could and mentally begging Noah to bring us some water or a medical transport.

“Defensive measures,” she insisted. “Scent navigation is really common in the Galactic community, and so is sensitivity to capsaicin, so…”

“Makes sense,” Conor managed to get out as he tried to gasp for air. “Even Noah.”

“Bit much.” I pinched my fingers as closely as I could without touching - which was more difficult than expected considering that I was shaking.

Maverick was the first to get up off the floor of the corridor, just as the medical transport arrived. He and Charly helped us on before distributing bottles of water to rinse our mouths and eyes. “It was… a good idea…” he panted once we were all seated. “Just… bit overkill…”

“The range of the cloud is only supposed to be five feet,” she insisted fretfully. “And I swear the pressure sensor is supposed to be calibrated to only go off if it’s fired from a bow or swung really, really hard.”

“Who...want...swing?” I was honestly starting to get dizzy fighting my airways to breathe.

Once we arrived at a medbay, Charly helped a couple of Miys’ bodies get us out of the transport and lying down in berths. In a glitch-like transition, suddenly I could breathe easily and she was joined by Arthur and Coffey in sitting with us.

“Wait… when did… I’m so confused,” I admitted, my voice only slightly strained.

“Lethe field, apparently,” Arthur shrugged. “You didn’t want to be awake for that.”

Conor sat up and rubbed his sternum. “I remember chili pepper arrows - Charly, love, that was brilliant except the, you know, going off bit - and getting off the transport.”

“Respiratory lavage,” Charly winced. “You know, war crime if done incorrectly?”

I shuddered and nodded. “Yep. Didn’t want to be awake for that, thanks. Glad I can’t remember, don’t ever want to, would rather remember the pepper bomb you set off. At point blank range?”

She snuggled further down in Coffey’s lap as he gently rubbed her scalp with his fingertips. Arthur spoke in her defense, instead. “She’s sending the schematics to Zach and Derek to find out what went wrong. Tactically, they were a brilliant idea - she’s right about the large amount of species who would react even worse than you did if hit with one.”

“I only inhale spices figuratively. I would prefer not to do it literally - like, ever again.”

Maverick sat up and gave Charly a curious look. “You said they can be swung… Unless I saw something wrong, the arrow was only two feet long. Who would want to swing something like that?”

Coffey and Arthur both held up gas masks and wiggled them. “Between my arm reach and the length of one of those, I could do it, no problem.”

“We aren’t all so fortunate,” Arthur intoned drily. “Plus, that doesn’t mean someone closer isn’t getting hit.”

Conor raised his hand politely before pointing out a potential flaw. “What if they have gas masks?”

“Noah has a topical reaction,” I answered, my mind racing. “And I assume we have other measures in the works?”

“Multiple types of sonic weaponry are being tested,” Coffey intoned with a nod. “Sub- and ultrasonics, infrasound, and just loud music.”

Still in full Devil’s Advocate mode, Conor persisted. “And if they are covered, head to toe, and none of that works?”

A deafening silence filled the medbay. The prospect of being forcibly boarded had only been a known issue for a week, and apparently this prospect hadn’t been covered yet in the defensive planning.

Finally, it was Maverick who spoke up. Had anyone else been talking, we couldn’t have heard him, but in the quiet his whisper echoed like a gunshot. “The interior hull is organic, not magnetic.”

“Mav, we know that. It doesn’t help us.” Conor’s voice was confused.

Arthur, however, looked like he had just seen a travesty occur in front him, unable to stop it. “You’re talking about blowing the airlocks.”

I scrambled to sit up, clawing at the blanket that covered my legs. “What!? Maverick, he’s wrong, right? You aren’t talking about that, right?”

“It makes logical sense,” Charly added, still laying her head against Coffey’s chest. “If someone boards the Ark by force, and they have enough gear that no amount of defense we mount even bothers them, they would be wearing enough gear to survive being blown into space.”

“And they can’t magnetize to the hull,” Maverick confirmed. “Maybe the outside, but not inside.”

“What about Noah?” I demanded. “They are a non-combatant.”

“Noah evolved in vacuum,” Charly pointed out.

“You’re talking a war strategy!” I nearly shouted. “What about Arthur? Coffey? Or Ivan? Are you seriously going to tell me they won’t be the first people charging to defend the Ark?” I pointed at the previously brandished gas masks with a damning glare.

“We are talking about a last-ditch defense to save as many people on this ship as possible,” she whispered. “I don’t make the decisions, I just make the tools they are going to use. You know, you know I don’t want us to use any of this. And I plan to booby-trap everything within an inch of all our lives to keep us from having to use as much of it as possible. Hence, arrows. As many kinds as I can make up.”

I started taking deep breaths, trying to calm down. At my heart of hearts, I knew she was sincere - Charly was almost as much of a pacifist as I was, at the end of the day. Even Arthur wasn’t necessarily a warmonger, just… uninhibited in what he defined as ‘the best defense is a good offense’.

Frustrated, I swung my legs over the side of the berth. “I need to go home. I want dinner, and a nap. Probably a drink.”

Charly reached out and pushed my legs back on to the bed. “You’re under observation for another hour. Dry-drowning risk.”

I groaned and gave her a pleading look. “I’m hungry, and this isn’t my bed. It’s honestly half the reason I’m in such a bad mood. You and Arthur probably make absolute perfect sense to less-sleepy, fed Sophia, but right now, not so much.”

“Your limey assistant is bringing a change of clothes, your sister, and some food,” Arthur smirked. “So you get to stay right there, not die, and get some sleep.”

“But Mac…”

“Is at Derek and Sam’s, but very nice try,” he confessed.

“I wanna go home,” I grumbled sullenly.

Maverick nodded, and gulped down some water Charly handed him. “Did someone turn on the scrubbers in there yet?”

Conor and I turned wide eyes to him. The thought apparently never occurred to either of us. “Charly love,” Conor started hesitantly. “How much bigger was the cloud than you thought?”

“I’m not sure,” she confessed, sheepish. “It was pretty big.”

Rubbing my face briskly, I suppressed the urge to sob. “My blankets… the furniture… our clothes…”

“Else is working on it.”

I glanced at Coffey, confused. “Else is? They eat iron.”

Noah’s voice broke in from the ceiling. “Correction. When still a bacterium, Else fed on iron. However, as they have evolved, their needs have expanded to include a more diverse diet.”

“Are you telling me that there are faceless baby chickens flooding our quarters, eating the chili powder?”

“They do show a preference for foods more toxic to the general Galaxy. We estimate that this is due to their origin within human beings, who share the same marked trait.”

“At least someone is appreciating my hard work,” Charly grumbled.

I strained to suppress a smile. “I’ll make you whatever you want for dinner, for a week, to make up for being ungrateful?”

“Maybe just tell Alistair it was an accident? He gets upset when you almost die.”

“Both?”

“Both. Both is good.”

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#the miys #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #aliens #improvised weaponry #found family #apocalypse #earth is space australia #science fiction #original science fiction #post apocalypse #post post apocalypse #sci fi #original sci fi #original writing #my writing

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cowboyjen68 · 3 years

Note

did you know any trans people back in the old scenes? any trans men or women? or those who were more androgynous presenting? I'm just curious :))

This is going to be long because this story has meaning to me and I think it is important that I share my friend’s story, even if our connection was temporary.

I did. And she had an impact on me, although I didn’t know it at the time. I used to go to a bar called the “Dead Wood” in Iowa City. It was sort of a townie and college student bar. I was newly out and while we had a well established gay bar it was specifically a night club so we did our day drinking at the Dead Wood. We could play pool, pinball and see familiar faces. My memory is a bit foggy, this would have been around 1994, so I would say we drank together a handful of times or so over the course of a year before I moved to another city and bought a house with my girlfriend.

Her name was Cindy. She was maybe in her late 40′s but it was hard for me to tell. Every one over 30 looked 40 She was thin and blonde and always dressed in mini skirts and lacy tops. Her face was pale, in retrospect it was maybe make up, maybe not, and gaunt and I was always worried she was not eating enough.

She and I talked a lot about her life. I was young and curious and we were often drunk. The kind of day drunk where you talk about personal details, high 5 stupid jokes and say things like “I love you man” over and over. I never saw her outside the bar.

The first time we met, I was ordering a beer and she invited me to sit at the bar with her. She was way ahead of me on drinks so she ordered me a couple of shots (that I paid for) and she told me that i should “buy the lady a drink”. So I did. A beer and a highball glass of whiskey I think. After I was drinking for a while, we had been talking about our names, where I worked etc, she leaned over and whispered “You know I’m a man, right?, a transexual man.” I was a bit taken aback. I knew Cindy was was not female, but I didn’t expect her to say that. I sort of recovered and said “I didn’t think I was supposed to notice or say anything”.

She put her hand on my knee. I remember it so clearly because she was so funny and different from other people I had met in my 24 years. She said “why wouldn’t you notice? “ I really don’t remember having a response. She told me that she was proud of who she was and it had been really hard because she liked men and some gay men didn’t like her being in skirts but she loved her skirts. And loved being seen as woman in public.

Through the next year or many months we ran into each other she told me about being transexual and explained her feelings. What she went through. Cindy told me about being drug addicted and the times she was homeless. I learned, through her words, the struggles she faced. She said she had no family and, although she never told me she was a prostitute, she hinted to it many times.

She told me that being a man was okay, but it was easier to look like a woman and love men than to look like a man and love men. Not to others she said but it felt better to her. She told told me she appreciated that I used “she”. I didn’t see why I would not, to me it was clear she wanted to be treated as if she was a woman.

I am paraphrasing a bit since it was many years ago, but the words in quotes are still clear in my head.

I had been around many drag queens and the 80′s was a prime decade of gender bending with fashion and dance and pop music. Androgyny was a norm for men and women, straight, bi and gay. For some of the gays and lesbians knew it was a way to get as close as they could to how they wanted to present without “outing” themselves as butch or a twink or gay in anyway. I knew many gay men who were feminine and flamboyant by nature. Cindy was different. I understood that she felt better about herself in “feminine” clothing (by American cultural standards). I had never met someone quite like her.

I can’t say how Cindy would feel about the modern language (transgender vs transsexual) or if she would have (or did) eventually take hormones or use any medical transition methods that would not have been available to her then. When i moved away my new job kept me from Iowa City and day drinking. I never saw her again, but I certainly never forgot the talks we had.

Part 2.. At women’s festivals I attended there were always women, who at the festivals were comfortable or at least okay being referred to as women, and used lesbian and female to talk about themselves. But in the “real world”, they passed as men. I can’t say if they used “trans man” to describe themselves. Many of them used more traditional male names but that is also not unusual in the lesbian/butch world either.

Frankly, I would only know they “passed” as men outside of the festival if they told me because the spectrum of women was so varied and diverse that there were certainly very masculine appearing women (whether they used butch or not) who were quite content in being perceived as female and quite unbothered if not.

The first time I heard the term “trans man” was in a 2001 article in the magazine “On Our Backs”. Or at least that was the first time I remember reading about it. I had no trans men in my broad circle of close friends of my generation, and that is still true. My trans man friends are all 30 or under. I remember the article because 1. I still have it and 2. it was pretty honest about the unique relationship and reality trans men have with and share with butches and being a lesbian. It was the first time i saw the complexities of the relationships between lesbians and trans men. Prior to that, it had never occurred to me.

All of the trans men I knew through the years, either friends of friends or in passing were same sex attracted and all were still very much apart of the lesbian circles I was in. There did not seem to be a disconnect or chasm between trans men and lesbians at all, which seems sometimes different than now, at least according to the internet. We unspokenly seemed to understand that we shared some history and a unique connection. My closest trans man friend is younger than me by 20 years and he and I definitely share a close bond, unique to our past.

I have been active in LGBT activism for 26 years and so my circle of friends widened as I grew older. Now I have friends on all parts of the LGBT plus spectrum. Meeting Cindy all those years ago taught me to listen and helped fuel my desire to befriend people who don’t look or act like me or share a similar past. Sharing each other’s stories is the most important power we hold as a community. Actively hearing each other is what strengthens us against a world that often is hostile to us and is uninterested in our struggles beyond pity for who we are.

#lgbt #stories

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kirksfattitties · 3 years

Text

asks you can smell the privilege and internalized ableism radiate from

(tw for ableism and other bigoted implications)

i’m bad at reading tone but even i understand that this is 100% you being condescending and trying to cover it up with smiley faces and false sincerity. and i don’t appreciate that.

before i get into deconstructing your shitty ableist argument, i want to explain the reasons i believe in self diagnosis (self-dx):

even professional diagnosis doesn’t start with a doctor diagnosing you. there has to be a reason for seeing the doctor. some people see a doctor in their adult life because they’re struggling, some people are taken by their parents, some people are referred or suggested that they see a specialist. whatever it is, you don’t just see a doctor and they magically give you a neurodivergency. people have neurodivergencies before they see doctors and even if they NEVER see a doctor.

the psychiatry system is flawed in MANY ways and to say that it isn’t means you’re denying the experiences of people with less privledge than yourself. also like psychiatry isn’t gonna suck your dick. you don’t have to be a bootlicker lol

in many places (hi hello i’m from america where our government tries to indirectly kill us by not providing us with adequate healthcare! i and many other people have many issues we can’t get fixed because simply our government cares more about the economy than us), seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist or going to a mental hospital or WHATEVER is INCREDIBLY expensive. and to assume that everyone has access and enough time/money/energy/transportation/whatever to do all of that is classist and elitist.

ANYTHING medical (including mental health) is biased towards white cis men. most studies are done on white cis men/boys. because of this, people who aren’t white cis men (or people who aren’t perceived as white cis men) are often not diagnosed. the system is racist. the system is sexist. the system is transphobic. people don’t know how to diagnose autism or adhd or personality disorders or other neurodivergencies or even mental illnesses in black people and other people of color, in women, in trans people, etc. and GOD FORBID someone be in multiple (or all) of those categories. saying “just go get diagnosed :)” is a privileged statement to make.

shocker! the psychiatry system is also ableist. if you’re already diasabled (whether it be mental or physical) and you see a doctor about ANOTHER disability? the doctor is most likely going to shoot you down. or at least be weary about someone having mutliple disabilities.

also most people who diagnose are neurotypical. they have never and will probably never experience neurodivergency so they can never fully understand it. they operate off of stereotypes of neurodivergent people and usually only stereotypical behavior of neurodivergent white cis men (which, as i mentioned before, is problematic for anyone who isn’t a white cis man). neurotypical diagnosers don’t know the neurodivergent culture and aren’t trained to recognize very common things (like masking for example).

a professional diagnosis can also be weaponized. not everyone can get a professional diagnosis because there are some neurodivergencies (such as autism and personality disorders) and mental illnesses (like depression) that can have legal and medical respercussions to have in your record. trans people can be denied medical and legal transition for being professionally diagnosed. people can lose custody battles for being professionally diagnosed. a professional diagnosis can be used as justification for taking away someone’s body autonomy (especially if that person is also physically disabled).

a LOT of neurodivergencies also have some type of symptom (or symptoms) that make it difficult to interact with people. troubles recognizing facial expressions, troubles understanding certain phrases and types of speech, paranoid about people, audio processing issues, being nonverbal in an environment that doesn’t accommodate for it, overstimulation, extreme social anxiety, discomfort in new situations, problems with eye contact, and a lot more. because like. for many nd people, interacting with people is very difficult and stressful. and hey. if you want to get a professional diagnosis? take a WILD guess what you have to do? FUCKING INTERACT with people! LIKE?? JEHDJJDKEKKDKDKDS. do you know how many professionally diagnosed nd people i know who made their appointment COMPLETELY on their own without help from a parent or family member or friend? LITERALLY ZERO! and i know A FEW nd people who have professional diagnoses! so if someone has social issues that prevent them from doing tasks like calling and making an appointment, showing up for an appointment, talking during the appointment, etc and ALSO doesn’t have familial or friend support (because newsflash! people who are friends/family of disabled people can still be ableist)? almost impossible to get a diagnosis! plus, the diagnosis process is TIME CONSUMING. not everyone can focus on a task for that long and not everyone can miss work/school for that long.

so those are the reasons i support self-dx. (although there’s probably more that i’m forgetting but i have adhd and it’s hard for me to remember things!)

so hopefully you now understand my reasons for believing in self-dx, and perhaps even you’re pro-self-dx now because before you were just uneducated on these issues and how they impact people who aren’t you.

but in case you’re still anti-self-dx and probably hate already-marginalized neurodivergent people, let’s talk about this horrendous ask (series of asks, actually) that i got sent. i feel like i can feel the self hatred and internalized ableism OOZING from this ask and into my inbox, so thanks for that i guess /s

“Sometimes people who self diagnose can take away from those who are actually nd, even sometimes from themselves.”

starting out strong with the ableism on this one by separating people into “self diagnosed” and “actually nd” people. self diagnosed people ARE actually nd

there’s not a limited number of nd resources. this isn’t a math equation of only x amount of people can be nd because there’s only y amount of resources. more people realizing they’re nd will actually MAKE more resources for nd people and will bring more awareness to being nd

even IF someone self diagnosed, and they go back on it later, what harm was done? they learned some coping mechanisms? they made some nd friends? neither of those are problematic and i think they’re both actually very helpful. i think nt people SHOULD learn more about nd people and stuff because i think that will lead to WAYYY less misunderstandings and WAYYYY less ableism

“There are many people who fake nds for attention,”

hey anon, what fucking world do you live in that nd’s are cool enough to fake having? because i would LOVE to live there. like, i literally had a post about my personality disorder (which i will not be specifying) i had to delete because people were sending my anons about how i was “scary” and “threatening” now that they knew i had the personality disorder i have. last year i left a discord server because the ableism i was recieving from not only the members of the server, but the mods as well. there are very few people i know irl who i tell about my personality disorder, but when i tell people about my adhd, they start treating me different. they infantalize me and make fun of me and use “jokes” about stereotypical adhd behaviors to alienate me and they even TELL OTHER PEOPLE without my permission. i was SEVERELY bullied throughout elementary and middle school for being nd. i have been refused job and educational opportunities as well as literal medical attention for being nd. people aren’t “faking” being nd, and if they were they probably wouldn’t be doing it for long because it’s not something that’s EASY to deal with.

kinda ironic that you’re saying people can’t diagnose themselves but that YOU can tell when someone is faking their diagnosis. that’s both hypocritical and a double standard.

masking exists. if you think someone isn’t “acting nd enough” they’re probably masking because they’ve been fucking bullied and harrassed. also you’re probably basing whatever you think nd is on stereotypes. not every nd person is sheldon cooper lol.

this is a side note but can we talk about how you’re literally just taking transmed rhetoric and molding it to fit nd people? like. you really come onto MY NONBINARY NEURODIVERGENT blog and expect me to validate your recycled “but what about the REAL [insert group] people?” ??? like grow up, elitist. you’re not better than anyone else just because you lick some boots 🥾 👅

“and claiming that self diagnosis (and this is just what I interpreted) is just as valid as professional diagnosis”

it is 😌

the only difference between self diagnosis and professional diagnosis is that a professional diagnosis can also get you medicine. not every neurodivergency needs meds and not every neurodivergency can be treated (at this time or even ever). for example, my pd (self diagnosed) doesn’t have a specific treatment but multiple symptoms of the pd (all professionally diagnosed) have specific treatments and medicines that work, so patients are given/diagnosed with/prescribed those instead. also, medicine doesn’t work for everyone! and sometimes people are allergic to or take medicines that will conflict with any new medicine.

“can really devalue the account of someone who actually has a disorder”

here we go again with that “self diagnosed” vs “actually nd” bullshit. literally just say you hate poor people n minorities and leave lol

someone having a different experience than you isn’t devaluing you, but if you’re the one who always has the spotlight maybe you should use your privledge uplift other marginalized people instead of feeling angry when everything isn’t all about you 100% of the time

“I have a second ask”

i don’t want it

“Plus it can be damaging for a person if they self diagnose wrong.”

how? what if they learn information that they wouldn’t’ve otherwise known like coping mechanisms that help them with their own neurodivergencies? that’s definitely not a bad thing

i think it’s funny that you bring up that people can self diagnose wrong and don’t even MENTION that doctors can diagnose wrong. like. you know. the people who GIVE OUT MEDICINE to people. i think it’s MUCH more dangerous when a PROFESSIONAL diagnosis is wrong. what are self-dx people with wrong diagnoses gonna do? read up on nd tips? maybe smoke some weed? drink some coffee? that’s about all they can do with a self-dx. but if a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL gives you an INCORRECT diagnosis, they can ACTUALLY fuck you up.

“I was recently diagnosed with PTSD, a disorder which I would have never considered I’d have.”

that’s great about your professional diagnosis! i don’t know you but i’m glad you’re finding out about yourself and getting the help you want and/or need /srs

sorry if this sounds blunt, but honestly i’m not surprised you never considered you could have PTSD. based on your asks, you sound like you have a lot of internalized ableism you need to work through and a lot more research about neurodiversity you need to do. being anti-self diagnosis is a common belief among a lot of people with internalized ableism and a lot of these same people are the ones who have no issue with and even SUPPORT auti$m $peaks. many nd organizations that are run BY nd people (like asan) actually support self-dx.

“If I had of diagnosed my own symptoms and then started treating myself or taking precautions based on my self diagnosed "condition", it could of really hurt me.”

how? taking precautions to preserve your mental health is NEVER a bad idea. i’m not ptsd, but someone i care deeply about DOES have ptsd and has shared a lot of the precautions and coping mechanisms for ptsd with me and honestly they’ve been incredibly helpful. it’s almost as if different neurodivergencies and/or mental illnesses have overlap and that’s why there’s a whole community for us to be able to share these resources and information with each other!

the same person was rejected a formal autism diagnosis because of their ptsd, plus the fact that they’re transgender and the fact they have symptoms of adhd. it’s not really my place to talk about their experience with professional diagnosis, but i’ll send this post to them and allow them to add on their experience in a rb if they’re comfortable with that. but it’s almost as if their experience with the professional diagnosis process was unhelpful, harmful, ableist, and transphobic 🧐 and unfortunately this is a pretty common experience

“Also, by self diagnosing, I devalue the account of a person with the disorder l assumed I had.”

how? if someone thinks they’re nd, they have a legitimate reason for thinking so. either they have another neurodivergency than the one they thought they had, or they’re neurotypical and need to figure themself out and have a need for support. either way, they learned more about the specific neurodivergency, more about the nd community, and more about themself. i don’t see how that’s a bad thing.

if you think self-diagnosed people’s experiences inherently have less value, that is straight up ableism. especially considering that other marginalized identities and minorities have trouble getting professional diagnoses, you might also be bigoted in some other way. or at the very least, refusing to acknowledge your privilege.

“only one more I promise”

i don’t want it

“I understand that doctors are expensive and professionals can get it wrong,”

okay. if you understand this, then dm me your information so i can bill you for the cost of my professional diagnoses, the cost for my therapy sessions, the cost for my medicine, and the cost for transportation to and from all these places. PLUS the cost of the work and school i’ll be missing for these sessions. 🤲

“but self diagnosis can be really harmful to yourself or others.”

nah, you’re just ableist and a gatekeeper lol

“If you feel like you have a disorder, go see a psychiatrist, you may have it.”

[remembers when i went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with two major symptoms of a personality disorder and said i had other symptoms of the pd as well but refused to diagnose me with the actual personality disorder because i was a minor at the time and he told me “kids don’t have personalities so they can’t have personality disorders”. i understand being weary about diagnosing children with personality disorders because they aren’t fully developed but this dude straight up told me that i didn’t have a personality. this man literally only worked with children so that means he literally never diagnosed personality disorders. this man was literally just lazy and didn’t care about his patients. this man also refused to believe me when i told him the medicine he prescribed me made my symptoms worse and even made me hallucinate. he ignored me and refused to change my medicine so eventually i just changed psychiatrists and they put me on a new medicine that DIDNT make my symptoms worse and DIDNT make me hallucinate. also i looked it up after our session and apparently ONLY people with my pd and related ones experience hallucinations on that certain medication. it’s almost like his refusal to diagnose me and ignoring my symptoms/concerns harmed me. this man also constantly misgendered me and told me that homosexuality and transgenderism should’ve still been in the dsm. like golly, it’s almost as if being queer and neurodivergent in an extremely conservative state is harmful and dangerous. and that psychiatrists aren’t immune from being homophobic and transphobic and ableist.] but yes :) perhaps i should see another psychiatrist in this conservative state :)

“I don't want to undermine anyone's actual experiences, but it can be dangerous.”

then stop undermining people’s actual experiences :)

no ❤️

“If you feel like something's wrong, go see a professional.”

the whole point of the neurodiversity movement is that there IS no such thing as a “normal” brain, so saying that neurodivergent people have something “wrong” with them is ableist.

💰 🤲 hand it over

“I don't want to offend, I just don't want anyone to get mislead or hurt. :)”

you absolutely meant to offend. you literally said that self-diagnosed people’s experiences aren’t valid and have less value than people who have professional diagnoses

i know more people who have been (and personally have been) mislead and hurt by professionals than by simply existing as a self-diagnosed person

also i want to say that being pro-self dx is NOT being anti-professional/formal diagnosis. i think that people should absolutely get a professional diagnosis (if they are able to without negative repercussions)! being pro-self dx is more inclusive of marginalized people (like people of color, women, lgbtq+ people, people with multiple disabilities, etc). pro-self dx is simply just saying that professional diagnosis isn’t the only option

(neurotypical people and anti-self dx people don’t add anything; pro-self dx neurodivergent people are allowed to add with their experiences if they want)

#asks #long post #nd adventures #ableism tw #sexism tw #racism tw #transphobia tw #misgendering mention #medical abuse mention #not star trek #homophobia tw

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