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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years

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hi!! do you have any good insecure/low self esteem Sherlock fics? thank you!

Hi Nonny!

AHHHH I’ve too many to count; I did a list back in 2019 that combined the both of them, but I get asked so often for one or the other that I think it’s time to make separate lists, and to do that requires me to re-tag a tonne of fics, so for now, I will give you all the ones I have tagged; I apologize if I’ve missed any, but I’m going through them slowly <3 Enjoy!!

INSECURE / AWKWARD SHERLOCK Pt. 2

See also: Insecure / Awkward John or Sherlock (Jan 2019)

The Four Incidents by TheGirlWithRedHair22 (K+, 1,064 w., 1 Ch. || S1 Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, John Whump, Accident, John POV, Hand Holding, Worried Sherlock, Sherlock’s Self Esteem) – The first time John was present when someone insulted Sherlock, he brushed it off as a strange coincidence.

Together is What we Have, Together Protects Us by Phantom of the Black Pearl (K+, 1,566 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship / Platonic or Slash, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Sherlock, Worried Sherlock, Slice of Life) – After a case one evening in the flat Sherlock voices a concern that causes the pair to consider why they've chosen to stick together after all that's happened.

Like Euphoria and Scotch by FinAmour (M, 1,856 w., 1 Ch. || Five and One, Alcohol / Drinking, POV Second Person Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Imagination, Armchair Sex, Fluff, Happy Ending) – 5 different ways it all could have gone + the one way it actually works itself out.

Five Times Sherlock gave John a Pebble and One Time John Returned the Gesture by grimmfairy (NR, 1,895 w., 1 Ch. || Love Confessions, Fluff, Penguins and Pebbles, Nervous / Pining Sherlock, Oblivious John) – Sherlock isn't good with words, so he decides to tell John his feelings the way penguins do, by bringing him pebbles with different meanings. John catches on.

The Imminent Danger of a Tumblr-Night by Loveismyrevolution (T, 2,135 w., 1 Ch. || Tumblr Fics, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock is Out of His Depth, Humour, Fluff, Pining Sherlock, Military Kink, POV Sherlock) – Sherlock gets into trouble when he pretends to know all about John's favourite social media site - tumblr. To save face he seeks help from one of the bloggers and gains more answers than he had aimed for.

Work On Your Balance by speculate (K+, 2,448 w., 1 Ch. || Embarrassed Sherlock, “For A Case”, Skating, Fluff, Friendship, Humour) – In which John is actually pretty good at ice skating, Sherlock's not and insists it's all for a case , and Lestrade is pretty amused by it all.

The Many Faces of Concern by sdrawkcabemdaer5 (K+, 2,473 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Angsty Fluff, John Whump, Mildly Clueless Sherlock) – John is injured on a case, leading to some surprising reactions and discoveries about their friendship.

Nothing Left Untouched by ForeverShippingJohnlock (K+, 2,617 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Romance, Bed Sharing, Oblivious Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Grumpy John, Fluff and Cuddles) – Sherlock rearranges the flat. So what if John's bedroom is now a research library. It's not like John needs a bedroom, he can share with Sherlock. They're friends and John has obviously slept in close quarters with men before and it's not like Sherlock sleeps much anyway. It'll be fine.

Closeted by Sexxica (E, 2,762 w., 1 Ch. || Trapped in a Closet, Panicking Sherlock, Hand Jobs, Coming in Pants, Awkward Conversations, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Fluffy Ending) – An improvised hiding spot and a bit of accidental voyeurism leave John and Sherlock in an awkward position.

Reversed by whitchry9 (K+, 3,072 w., 6 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Medical Anomalies, John Gets Shot) – The man pointed his gun at John's chest, right at his heart, and shot.' Wherein John is shot, and Sherlock is the one panicking.

Study in Sherlock by chappysmom (K+, 3,790 w., 1 Ch. || ASiP, Friendship, Introspection, Anxious Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Caring Sherlock, Stroppy Sherlock) – Sherlock's thoughts and feelings during A Study in Pink. What DID he think of John, and why was he being so NICE?

Date Night by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 4,451 w., 1 Ch. || Anxious / Worried Sherlock, Caring John, Schmoopy Fluff, Fidget Cube, Baking / Cooking, Date Night, Established Relationship, POV Sherlock Holmes, Understanding John, Grumpy Sherlock, John’s Bum, Kisses, Hugs, Domestic Fluff, Touching, Hair Petting, Light Humour) – It's John and Sherlock's first Date Night as an official couple and Sherlock needs it to be PERFECT. Mrs Hudson helps. Part 7 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Sherlock and John Go Clubbing by wendymarlowe (E, 4,716 w., 3 Ch. || Clubbing, Dirty Talk, Dancing, Coming Untouched, Coming in Pants, Bi John, For a Case, Friends to Lovers, Flirting, Sherlock is Lost for Words, Sexy John, Mutual Pining, Possessive John, Floor Sex/Hand Job/Frottage) – John pinched the bridge of his nose - even for Sherlock, this was a new level of no bloody boundaries. “You want me to go with you to a gay club, wait around twiddling my thumbs while I let you get pawed by a criminal, then out-flirt him and talk you into coming home with me instead?” Part 32 of John and Sherlock's Kinky First Times

Applied Linguistics by what_alchemy (M, 4,837 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive / Anxious Sherlock, Introspection, Bed Sharing, Past John Whump, Est. Rel., Marriage Proposal, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Word Play) – “He wants to shake John by the shoulders, wants to open his mouth and swallow John whole. Wants to marry him.” Sherlock searches for the right words.

Sleeping next to you by Salambo06 (E, 5,018 w, 2 Ch. || ASiB Fic, Bed Sharing, Frottage, Mutual Masturbation, Rimming, Anal, First Kiss/Time, POV Sherlock) – Based on an Anonymous Prompt: "So, that scene from ASiB when Mrs H has been attacked by the American CIA guy & John, Sherlock & she are in Mrs H's kitchen when John says "She’ll have to sleep upstairs in our flat tonight. We need to look after her." to which Sherlock replies with "no". John of course suggested that because he cares about her safety, but maybe he also did it cause he /wanted/ that to happen. What if they finally agreed on letting her have John's or Sherlock's bed & J&S sleep in the same one?" Part 12 of Tumblr Collection

Nothing So Sweet by alexxphoenix42 (E, 5,275 w., 1 Ch. || Shopkeeper AU || Beekeeping, Sussex, Alternate First Meeting, Awkward First Time Sex, Self-Consciousness / Body Insecurity, Fluff, Hand Jobs) – In an alternate universe, Sherlock is busy keeping to himself, tending his bees, and selling lovely jars of honey when a soldier limps into his life quite unexpectedly. Part 1 of The Sweetest Things

My First, My Only, and My Forever by vintagelilacs (E, 6,220 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiB, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Bum, John’s Scar, Sherlock POV, Body Worship, Fingering, Bottomlock, Promise of Forever / Proposals, Misunderstanding, First Kiss/Time, Loss of Virginity, Virginity Kink, Seduction) – Sherlock narrowed his eyes. He was missing a vital piece of data, he was sure. John had been looking at him oddly ever since they left Buckingham Palace, and the ensuing incident with Irene Adler had only exacerbated his erratic behaviour. What was it? Why would he care that Sherlock was a virgin? There was nothing reminiscent of mockery or pity in his gaze. And then it hit him. John Watson was aroused.

Time on my hands by Mildredandbobbin (M, 7,179 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-S3, One Night Stands, Mutual Pining, Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Sexual Exploration / Discovery, Desperation, Body Worship) – Virginity’s a construct, a concept—what does losing one’s virginity entail for a gay man anyway? Sherlock wants to fill that particular gap in his knowledge but John won’t, can’t, never will assist and there’s only so much desperately unspoken pining even Sherlock can take.

The Very Unlikely Existence of a Flightless Bird in a Tuxedo by cwb (E, 8,829 w., 1 Ch. || Poetry, Penguins / Animals / Zoos, First Kiss / Time, Blow / Hand Jobs, Sleepy Cuddles, Endearments, Friendship / Love, Adorable / Sleepy Sherlock, Case Fic, Sherlock Can’t Say Penguin) – A case at the zoo reveals something John finds cute about Sherlock. A conversation ensues, and so does happy endings.

Always the sun by Rose de Sharon (K+, 12,377 w., 3 Ch. || Song Fic, Alternate Post-TGG, Friendship/Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection / Reflection, Injury Recovery, Obsessive / Protective Sherlock, Nightmares, John’s Past, Bed Sharing / Cuddles) – Sherlock ponders about how much his life has changed since John has become his flatmate.

Understanding by rizandace (T, 13,268 w., 15 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Worried Sherlock, John Whump Then Sherlock Whump) – Sherlock's hiding something about his newest case, and John wants answers. Set post-TGG. Friendship fic, mostly, with brief entrances from Harry and Lestrade just for fun.

On The Fence by BeautifulFiction (T, 13,770 w., 1 Ch. || Fencing, Case Fic, First Kiss, Insecure John, Pining John, Hug, Greg Finds Out) – The murder of the King's College fencing champion leads to revelations about Sherlock's past. Will it be the point that tips them from friends to lovers, or will they remain on the fence?

Pattern Behaviour by SilentAuror (E, 14,835 w., 1 Ch. || POV First Person Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Introspection, Stroppy Sherlock, Light Humour, Friendship, John Takes Care of Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Wall Kisses, Fluffy Angst, Happy Ending) – Sherlock doesn't even know why he resents John's dates so much. Until the day he does know. Slight angst, unrequited feelings (but don't let that scare you off!)

The Burning of the Leaves by blueink3 (M, 15,915 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Angst, Reichenbach, Parentlock, Past Jolto, Idiot John, Sherlock’s a Mess, Puppies, Fluff, Possessive / Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Matchmaker Sholto, Melancholic Feelings, Emotional Sherlock, Domesticity, Love Confessions in the Rain, Kissing in the Rain, Pet Names, Panic Attack) – After the events of series 4, Major Sholto invites John and Sherlock to lunch one day. It nearly proves to be too much for their tenuous relationship as the past haunts the present, putting the future that Sherlock so desperately wants at risk.

A Silver Sixpence by _doodle (NC-17, 16,400 w., 2 Ch. || LJ Fic || For a Case / Case Fic, Fake Relationship, Humour, Romance, Marriage Proposal, Awkward Idiots, Cuddling, Touching, Kissing, Love Confessions, Bed Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fake Until It’s Not, Schmoop and Fluff, Bottomlock) – “John, we need to get married. It’s for a case, not any romantic notions on my part pertaining to our partnership,” Sherlock said, with brutal honesty, and without even looking up.

Hope for Heroes by Richefic (K+, 16,887 w., 5 Ch. || Post-TGG Fic, Introspection / Flashbacks, Friendship/Epic Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Worried/Anxious Sherlock, Sherlock Admires John, BAMF John, John Deduces, Fancy Party, John’s Self Esteem, Domestics) – In the final moments of "The Great Game" Holmes hopes he will have the chance to tell his flatmate that he was wrong. Heroes do exist after all and the one in front of him is called Dr John Watson.

Between Friends by SilentAuror (E, 18,036 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3, Alternating POV, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Abduction, Awkward Situations / Miscommunications, Porn With Feels, Blowjobs, Pining, Unrequited, Angst With Happy Ending) – Sherlock gets abducted. As John discovers him tied up naked in an empty storage facility and comes to rescue him, Sherlock's body has an unfortunate reaction which triggers a series of events. John is convinced that everything will be fine as long as they never discuss it. Sherlock isn't as sure...

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

A Quiet Life by DiscordantWords (M, 25,176 w., 6 Ch. || Post S4, Retirement, POV Sherlock, Awkwardness, Established Relationship, Family Dynamics, Minor Character Death, Questionable Parenting Choices, Non-Linear Narrative, 20 Year Old Rosie, Meddling Mycroft, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Angst, Sherlock Whump) – There had been three days of silence and a funeral. Sherlock had the terrible feeling that whatever happened next would depend, entirely, on him.

Rupert Street by WritingOutLoud (M, 27,262 w., 9 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting || Case Fic, Sexuality, Demisexual Sherlock, Drugging, Smart John, Sherlock Has Internalized Biphobia, Fluff, Angst with Happy Ending, Gay Bar, Flirting, John Manipulates Sherlock to Eat, John Deduces, Arguments, Kidnapping/Torture, Hospitalization, John Whump) – Discharged from the war with nothing but the clothes on his back and a realisation of his bisexuality, John Watson has to learn who he’s become. He can’t afford London on an army pension, but the city is the only friend he has. In an effort to understand his newfound queer identity, he heads to a bar one night, where he stumbles across a mysterious stranger who turns his life upside down. ‘I dug around inside myself, and I'm not quite sure what I found, but it was beautiful and terrifying all at the same time.’

The Wisteria Tree by SilentAuror (E, 29,773 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Emotional Love Making, Amnesia/Memory Loss, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Sherlock POV, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, First Times, Hurt/Comfort, Est. Rel., Retirement) – Sherlock wakes up from a month-long coma only to discover that he has no memory of the previous six years to his own shock as well as John's...

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

Deck the Halls by itsalwaysyou_jw (T, 31,018 w., 24 Ch. || Advent Fic / Multiple One-Shots, Assorted Tags) – One Johnlock ficlet for every day leading up to Christmas. Who is ready for pining, first kisses, established Johnlock, and everything in between? This collection of stand-alone ficlets will have it all.

The Winter Garden by Callie4180 (T, 31,213 w., 13 Ch. || Post-S4, Retirement, Christmas, Slow Burn, Grown-Up Rosie, Parenthood, Rosie’s Cat, Angst with Happy Ending, Holidays, Beekeeping, Magical Realism, Sherlock POV, Sherlock’s Violin, Future Fic, Sussex, Honey, Magical Healing Honey, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Scar, First Kiss, Touching) – As Sherlock nears the end of his career, he's given the gift of a cottage in Sussex. The honey from the beehives out back is amazing. Almost...magical.

a good old-fashioned happy ending by darcylindbergh (E, 32,731 w., 26 Ch. || Christmas, Frottage, Comfort, Est. Rel., Fluff, Insecure Sherlock, Frottage, Nightmares, Sleepy Sherlock, Marriage Proposal, Humour, Fluff, Dancing, Cooking, Happy Ending) – For Christmas this year, Sherlock wants to get John something special: something every fairytale deserves. Part 2 of things fairy tales are made of

carrying up his morning tea by darcylindbergh (E, 34,504 w., 5 Ch. || Post S3, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes/Funerals, Estranged John, Pining Sherlock, Depression/Insecurity, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain/Injury, Reconciliation, Awkwardness, Loneliness, Scars, Angst With Happy Ending) – His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.

Nothing to Make a Song About by emmagrant01 (E, 36,833 w., 10 Ch. || Post-TRF, First Time, Reunion, Jealous John, Pining Sherlock, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, Sherlock Has a Boyfriend) – When Sherlock returned from his faked death, John could not forgive him for the deception and broke off their friendship. Ten years later, John returns to London in search of yet another new beginning. Sherlock, not surprisingly, is waiting.

The Unfinished Letters by SilentAuror (E, 37,391 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3 / S3 / HLV Fix it, Angst with Happy Ending, Romance, Infidelity, Depression, Case Fic, POV Third Person Sherlock, Love Confessions, Pining Sherlock, Letters) – A fire at Baker Street leads John to read something he was never intended to see: a notebook of half-written, unfinished letters Sherlock wrote during his time away...

(Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea by DiscordantWords (M, 39,968 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It || Grief / Mourning, Victor Trevor, Friendship, Sherlock is Not Okay, Nightmares/Flashbacks/Panic Attacks, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John Comes Home) – Baker Street is very much the same. Only different. And Sherlock is just trying not to drown.

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w., 18 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

A Goose Quill Dipped in Venom by Polyphony (M, 52,748 w., 16 Ch. || Celebrity John AU || Alternate First Meeting, TV Host John, Supermodel Mary, Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Case Fic, First Kiss/Time, Meddling Mycroft, Drug Abuse, Doctor John, PDA, Deductions, POV Sherlock, Toplock, Sexual Tension, Angry/Rough Sex, Hopeful Ending, Asperger’s Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, is called in to a very ordinary although brutal murder. Something is badly out of tune with the whole scenario and Sherlock finds himself becoming more and more obsessed with the crime - and also with the victim.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

One Little Change by jadztone (E, 58,312 w., 12 Ch. || ASiB Divergence, Fake Relationship, Bed Sharing, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bi John / Gay Demisexual Sherlock, Switchlock, Alternating POV, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Case Fic, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Love Making, Butt Plugs, Cuddles) – Our story begins right after John and Sherlock's first meeting with Irene Adler in September. It splits off into an AU that imagines them taking a case where they act as bait to hook a killer targeting closeted gays in secret relationships. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, many things happen that have our boys wondering if maybe they have a chance with each other. Then Irene fakes her death on Christmas Eve, and things get a lot more complicated - especially since they still have a killer to catch.

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w., 24 Ch. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn't have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Flashbacks, Sussex, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Background Case Fic) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate Future AU || Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky Sherlock, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Oral Sex, Case Fic, Emotional Love Making, Bath Time Fun) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It's 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn't need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

The Lost Special: Family Matters (As Do Relationships) by ShirleyCarlton (M, 144,688 w., 40 Ch. || S4 Fix It Fic / Meta Fic, Unreliable Narrator, John’s Mind Bungalow, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Demisexual Sherlock, Holmes Family, John Whump, Gay Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Drug Addiction, Parenting, TFP is a Nightmare, Virgin Sherlock, Slow Burn, Minor Character Death, Switchlock, John’s Past, Sherlock’s Past, Eurus, Love Confessions) – Sherrinford is not really the name of some high security prison. That was just a figment of John’s frantic coma dream. And Eurus is not actually Sherlock’s sister. That’s just something random she said to John before shooting him. Sherlock and John were never actually estranged. That was just their act to cover up what really happened to Mary – or Rosamund Moran, as her real name has turned out to be. Sherlock does have a secret sibling, though, and his name is Sherrinford. After finally eliminating Moran – though in a rather dramatically different way than they had envisioned – and exposing the truth about Eurus, John encourages Sherlock to delve into his past and to find out whether the reasons to keep Sherrinford away from Sherlock were the right ones, and to discover what really happened in 1981. Along the way, Sherlock and John gradually, finally, stop keeping each other at a distance, and eventually become a proper family of their own.

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #insecure sherlock #my fic recs #Anonymous #long post #awkwardness

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lee-scribbles-and-doodles · 3 years

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My Top Ten Overlooked Movies With Female Leads In No Particular Order

Note: When you see this emoji (⚠️) I will be talking about things people may find triggering, which are spoilery more often then not. I mention things that I think may count as triggers so that people with them will be aware before going in to watch any of these.

Edited: 3/16/21

Hanna (2011)

So, before I get into why you should watch this movie, I just want to take a moment to say why it's near and dear to my heart. Growing up as a queer kid in the early 2000s, seeing portrayals of people like or similar to myself on anything was rare at best. It was mostly in more "adult" movies or shows that my parents would occasionally let me watch with them that I'd see any lgbtq+ rep at all. Often times they were either walking stereotypes, designed to be buried, evil, or all three.

Then here comes this PG-13 action thriller with a wonderfully written main female lead who, at the time, was close to my age, and who got to kiss another girl (her very first friend, Sophie) on screen in an extremely tender and heartwarming scene. To say the least, it was a life changing moment for me personally.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, Hanna is a suspenseful movie about a child super-soldier named, you guessed it, Hanna (played by Saoirse Ronan) and her adoptive (?) father Erik Heller (played by Eric Bana) exiting the snowy and isolated wilderness of their home and taking on the shadowy CIA operative, Marissa Wiegler (played by Cate Blanchette) who wants Erik dead and Hanna for herself for mysterious reasons.

It also has an amazing soundtrack by the Chemical Brothers, great action scenes, and it has an over arching fairytale motif, which I'm always a sucker for.

⚠️ Mild blood effects, some painful looking strikes, various character deaths, and child endangerment all feature in this film. However, given its PG-13 rating, a majority of viewers are presumably able to handle this one. Still, be aware of these going in.

Sidenote: It's recently gotten a TV adaptation on Amazon TV, although I have not watched it, and do not know if Hanna and Sophie's romantic/semi-romantic relationship has transferred over.

A Simple Favor

A Simple Favor is a "black-comedy mystery thriller" centered entirely around the relationship between two mothers, the reclusive, rich, mysterious, and regal Emily (played by Blake Lively), and the local recently widowed but plucky mommy blogger, Stephanie (played by Anna Kendrick). When Emily suddenly goes missing, Stephanie takes it upon herself to find out what happened to her new best friend.

It's a fantastic and entertaining movie throughout, with fun, flawed and interesting characters. The relationship between the two female leads is also implied to be at least somewhat romantic in nature, and they even share a kiss.

⚠️ The only major warnings I can think of is that the movie contains an instance of incest and one of the main plotlines revolves around child abuse, although both of these potentially triggering topics are not connected to each other, so there is thankfully no csa going on.

Edit: I legitimately forgot there was drug use in this movie until now. So, yeah, if that's a trigger, be careful of that.

I Am Mother

I became mildly obsessed with this movie when it came out. I Am Mother is a sci-fi film that centers entirely around a cast of two woman, and a female-adjacent robot who is brought to life on screen with absolutely amazing practical effects.

The plot is such, after an extinction-level event, a lone robot known only as Mother tasks herself with replenishing the human race via artifical means. She begins with the film's main protagonist, Daughter. Years go by as Mother raises her human child and the two prepare for Daughter's first sibling (a brother) to be born. However, on Daughter's 16th birthday, the arrival of an outsider known only as Woman shakes Daughter's entire world view. She begins to question Mother's very nature, as well as what's really going on outside the bunker she and her caretaker call home.

⚠️ This movie features child endangerment and reference to child death.

Lilo and Stitch

When I decided to add a single Disney film to this list I initially thought it was going to be hard but almost immediately my brain went to Lilo and Stitch, and specifically about the relationship between Lilo and Nani.

On the surface, this film is about a lonely little girl accidentally adopting a fugitive alien creature as a "dog," but underneath that the story is also about two orphaned sisters and the older sister's attempts to not let social services tear them apart by stepping up as the younger sister's primary guardian. Despite its seemingly goofy premise, Lilo and Stitch has a very emotional and thoughtful center. It's little wonder how this movie managed to spawn an entire franchise.

Despite the franchise it spawned (or possibly because of it), I often find that Lilo and Stitch is overlooked and many people only remember it for the "little girl adopts an alien as a pet" portion of its plot, and I very rarely see it on people's top 10 Disney lists.

⚠️ This movie could be potentially triggering to people who were separated from their siblings or other family members due to social service intervention. There's also a bit of child endangerment, including a scene where Lilo and Stitch both almost drown.

Nausicaä and the Valley of the Wind

Unlike the above entry, I did struggle a little bit with picking a single Studio Ghibli film. Most media of the Ghibli catalogue have strong, well-written, unique, and interesting female leads so selecting just one seemed like quite the task.

However, I eventually settled on this particular film. In recent months, Princess Nausicaä has become my absolute favorite Ghibli protagonist and I'm absolutely enchanted by the world she lives in.

Set in a post-apocalyptic world overun by giant insects and under threat of a toxic forest and its poisoness spores, Nausicaä must try to protect the Valley of the Wind from invaders as she also tries to understand the science behind the toxic forest and attempts to bridge the gap between the insects and the humans.

For those who have never seen the film, I think Nausicaä's personality can best be described as being similar to OT Luke Skywalker. Both are caring, compassionate, and gentle souls who are able to see the best in nearly anyone or anything. She's an absolutely enthralling protagonist and after rewatching the film again for the first time in well over a decade she has easily become one of my all time favorite protagonists.

Whenever I see people talk about Ghibli films, they rarely mention this one, and when they do mention it, it's often in passing. In my opinion it's a must watch.

⚠️ This movie contains some blood, and the folks who either don't like insects or who have entomophobia may not appreciate the giant bugs running about throughout the movie. (Although most insects do not directly relate to real life bugs, and are fantasy creatures).

A Silent Voice

A Silent Voice is an animated movie adaptation of a manga of the same name. While I've never had the pleasure to read the manga, the movie is phenomenal. It covers topics such a bullying, living in the world with a disability, the desire for atonement, social anxiety, and depression in a well thought out manner that ties itself together through the progression of the relationship between its two leads, Shoya and Shouko. It's also beautifully animated. Although very popular among anime viewers, I've noticed that it's often overlooked by people who watch little to no anime. So I suppose this is me urging non-anime viewers to give this film a chance.

⚠️ As mentioned above, the movie deals with bullying, anxiety, and depression (with this last one including suicidal thoughts and behaviour). If discussion of those topics are triggering to you, than you may want to proceed with caution or skip this movie all together.

In This Corner of The World

Another manga adaptation, this one taking place during WWII-era Japan. In This Corner of The World follows the life of a civilian Japanese woman, Suzu Urano, as she navigates simply living and her new marriage as the wartime invades nearly all aspects of everyday life. I think this movie is a good representation of what it must be like to be living as civilian in a country at war where the fight is sometimes fought on one's own soil. It was also an interesting look into pre-50s Japanese culture in my opinion. It's also beautifully animated featuring an art style I don't see often.

Despite it being well known among anime fans, I never really see it be brought up, even among said anime fans themselves.

Side note: I've seen many WWII dramas centering around civilians but they've almost always been about American or UK civilians. This was the first movie I'd seen that features the perspective of a Japanese civilain.

⚠️ Features the death of a child and limb loss. There's also a disturbing scene featuring a victim of one of the atomic bombs near the end.

Wolf Children: Ame and Yuki

This film follows Hana, a Japan-native woman who fell in love with a magical shape-shifting wolf-man, and her trials with raising their children, who can also magically shape-shift into wolves, on her own. It's a very heartfelt movie about a mother's love and the struggles of doing right by your children when you have limited resources to actively guide and care for them. All the characters feel unique and alive in my opinion. Also, the animation is so good that my sister and I initially mistook it for a Ghibli film.

Again, like the previous two anime entries, I don't see it ever brought up outside of anime circles.

⚠️ There's some child endangerment present in the film, although none of it is the fault of Hana as far as I can remember.

Roman Holiday

Roman Holiday is about the fictional Princess Ann (played by Audrey Hepburn), who while on a whirlwind tour of Europe, finally reaches her breaking point over having her entire life be one big schedule and all her words and actions being rehearsed. In the spur of the moment, she runs away in hopes of experiencing what life is like for other women. Unfortunately, she was previously given a sedative, meaning she doesn't get too far before it takes effect. Fortunately, she is found by the kind reporter Joe Bradley (played by Gregory Peck). Believing her to be drunk and unable to get an address from her (because she has none) he ends up taking her home for safety's sake and allows her to sleep off her suppose drunken stupor. The next day, he realizes who she is, and decides to take her on a fun sight seeing trip across Rome in hopes of getting the big scoop. Along the way, they begin to fall for each other.

This is my favorite black and white, old romance film. I think the relationship between the main characters is absolutely beautiful and I have a lot of fun watching it.

⚠️ I'm not entirely sure what kind of warning this film would need. However, it was released in 1953, so values dissonance will probably be at play for many viewers to at least some extent. For example, early in the film Ann is given sedation drugs by her doctor for her behavior, something that is very unlikely to happen today. Also, Mr Bradley deciding to take Ann home to keep her safe rather than call the police or an ambulance is a very pre-90s decision in my opinion.

#hanna 2011 #a simple favor #i am mother #lilo and stitch #nausicaä of the valley of the wind #a silent voice #in this corner of the world #wolf chilren ame and yuki #wolf children #roman holiday #black and white film #anime #disney #studio ghibli #movie recs #top 10

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havethetimeofyourstyles · 3 years

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Chapter Six.

SERIES MASTERLIST | word count: 13.8k

WARNINGS: sexual content

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January 4, 2018

With every article of clothing that flew from the closet, Harry neatly folded each piece as he laid them flat in Luci’s suitcase. He remained seated on her beige rug, leaning against the side of her bed with an open luggage that was sat next to him as he intently listened to her ramble nervously about the new adventure she was about to take on.

Luci had a flight tomorrow morning that was quite early for her own liking, and she was just now packing her belongings. To be fair, she had been busy meeting Samantha for extra discussions about work, and she even met her new manager, Thea, who had been so excited to meet her and manage her. Thea was a forty-two-year-old woman who had quite the experience in being a Hollywood manager. Her and Samantha were a dream-team, as they would like to call themselves, for a few years now and they’d managed to raise the newest stars up on the Hollywood sign itself. Their work was promising, and Luci put her trust and her career in the hand of the two women.

For the past three days, Harry and Luci had been spending as much time with each other. They were saddened to be together for only three days, which was the exact amount of time they’d officially been in a relationship. But they were making the most of their time with making dinners together and sleepovers since that was the only available time Luci had since she had been so busy during the day. Harry was lucky school wasn’t back in session yet so he could put his full attention on Luci.

Once her luggage was filled with all different types of clothing and shoes, Harry closed it for her, rolling it over next to the front door before grabbing the duffel bag he lent her and dropping it next to the luggage. It was nearing ten at night and Luci had to leave for the airport at four in the morning since Thea had booked her flight for six because she was going straight to the studio to meet the rest of the cast and do table readings.

Harry found Luci leaning against the countertop with her back towards him. He could tell just how tense she was because of her anxiety and nerves that were boiling in her body; her shoulders seemed like they were frozen because of how tense she was, and he knew her neck started to ache because she kept rolling her head around to relieve the pain. All he wanted her to do was relax, and he could only do so much to help her ease the nerves.

He’d learned that Luci’s love language was words of affirmation, indicating that she needed constant reassurance. It seemed fitting because as an actress, she always wanted feedback on her work; plus, she was always one for needing validation for every single thing she was proud of. And Harry seemed like the perfect guy to give her that reassurance because he loved uplifting her mood, hyping her up, and making her happy.

Pressing his chest against her back, he wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin against her shoulder. His hands rubbed her lower stomach, and just the mere touch had made her relax as she loosened up in his arms; he held her up tightly so she wouldn’t have to anymore.

“You okay, baby?” He asked, knowing it was a dumb question, but he always wanted to make sure.

“Yeah, I’m alright. Just nervous,” she responded, even though he had already known.

He kissed her cheek, and Luci melted. “You’re gonna do amazing, I just know it. The producers were so impressed with you that they wanted you to be in their movie. No one could deny your talent, Ci, I can promise you that. You’re fucking marvelous.” He had said the exact words that Luci needed to hear; she smiled, caressing his tattooed arm with her soft hand.

“Thank you, baby.” She turned her head to the side, meeting his lips before planting an appreciative kiss for all that he had done for her.

“C’mon, wanna show you something.” He unwrapped his arms, making her turn around suspiciously before leading her into her bedroom.

On her bed was a photo album that had a brown leather exterior with black trimmings to protect the edge of the book. They both sat on the edge of the bed as they looked down at the front of the album.

“This is just a little something that I thought you would appreciate,” Harry said before handing it to her.

Luci slowly opened it to the first page of the album. Taped on a thick white construction paper was the Playbill booklet of the show, along with Harry’s ticket that he purchased next to it; at the bottom had the date of the night Luci had performed for the first time in Harry’s handwriting. On the back of the first page was every single good review everyone had to say about Luciana Suki. The reviews were cut out into strips as he tried to fit as many reviews as he possibly could on the square paper. When Harry was glueing the reviews on them, he left out about ten critics because they simply couldn’t fit on the paper; a sense of proudness had washed over him because Luci was just a likeable person along with her amazing talent—no one could not like her,

Flipping the clear plastic sheet protector, the next page was Halloween, where Harry printed the pictures Nina had taken of them. He did not forget to write at the bottom of the page that it was Luci who had asked him out, along with the date. They both laughed once they read it because it was a memory they simply would never forget.

On the back of the Halloween page was their first date. They had taken a selfie in front of the sunset, moments before their first kiss, capturing their well-spent day together. Along with their picture was the fair food Harry had taken, imitating a food blogger; a picture of Luci with wide eyes, staring into the camera as she took a bite of her food. Harry had smiled, heart fluttering after he’d taken the picture.

The last page was recent; the day Harry asked her to be his girlfriend. He’d managed to make a copy of the photobooth strips since he wanted to keep the real ones on hand. The date he asked her was written in between the third and last picture as those were the exact moments he’d asked her and she said yes.

The scrapbook was the most sentimental and thoughtful gift Luci had ever received; the time and effort Harry had put into making the entire thing showed within his creative scrapbooking skills, and it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever given her.

“Harry…” her eyes were blurry from the tears, threatening to fall out.

“This’ll be our little memory book. I know it’s very early in our relationship, but I just want you to know how much you mean to me, and that I’ll look back on these memories and smile because we had the best times. And I’ll keep this going and fill it with all future memories and your accomplishments because I’m so incredibly proud of you.” He delicately took her face into his hands as if he was holding a piece of art as he caressed her soft cheek with his thumb. Luci’s tears had hit his finger, overwhelmed with how much adoration and admiration Harry was giving her.

“Thank you. I…adore you so much.”

Far too early to say those three words, she settled for the second closest thing that verbally told him how she felt, but her feelings were just as close to the real thing, no matter if it was too early or not.

Harry blushed. “I adore you, too.”

Just like her, he felt those three words swimming on the tip of his tongue. His heart was beating unbelievably fast for how early their relationship was, and he made no effort into slowing down his heartbeat because he quite liked how she had that affect on him.

Gently, she connected her lips with his. They kissed and swirled their tongues together as the electric spark ignited inside of them. Luci held onto him as tight as she possibly could, savoring his presence, his touch, his closeness since she would go months without any of those things.

He pulled away from their intense and passionate kisses, making Luci pout and he quickly pecked her lips, kissing her frown away.

“Can I show you how much I adore you?”

The question had caught her off-guard. “You wanna…”

“Only if you’d let me. I wanna take care of you,” he said genuinely. It didn’t take Luci long to nod yes. “Let me hear you say it. Please, I need your words.” Harry pleaded.

She looked at him intently before she softly said, “Take care of me, Harry.”

Her words only brought him relief before he kissed her cheek and pushed at her shoulder to lie back. Luci got comfortable as she laid in the middle of the bed; Harry had moved his lips down to her neck, kissing and nibbling at her skin but not hard enough to leave a mark. She softly moaned at the feeling; his lips had affected her quite a lot, and it always left her wondering what else he could possibly do with those pink lips of his and she was finally going to find out.

Harry settled in between her legs, which she was quick to welcome him. He was hovering over her, kissing every bit of exposed skin that he saw as his hands were toying with the hem of her sweater.

“Can I take this off?” He asked, referring to her sweater.

“Yes.” She nodded.

Harry lifted her sweater, chills entered her skin as her warm sweater was taken away from her and thrown to the side of the bed. The newest bit of skin that he hadn’t seen only made him want to kiss every inch of her, to learn and memorize every crevice and dip of body. Eagerly, he kissed the valley and tops of her breasts.

“You’re so beautiful, Luciana,” he complimented. There was something about Harry telling her that she was beautiful and adding her full name with it that made her feel like snow on a warm day; she had melted entirely just by his statement.

He took her hardened nipple into his mouth, sucking and licking and pulling at it. Luci’s hand met his hair, scratching his scalp lightly as she let out soft breaths of air. Kissing down her body, her eagerness heightened as she subconsciously bucked her hips slightly into his torso as she felt Harry smirk against her stomach.

“Don’t laugh,” she said, looking down at him. Harry looked up as her elbows were slightly propped up against the bed with a smile that matched his.

“Not gonna laugh, baby.”

“Okay…” she dragged out, her tone teasing.

Continuing, he kissed the skin above the hem of her leggings before he asked if he could take them off, and she said yes. Kneeling on the bed, he took off her dark grey leggings as her legs went straight up; she was left in her cotton nude underwear, and Harry felt like he could come on the spot. He’d truly never seen someone so beautiful until he met Luci, and his admiration for her had only increased.

“Stunning. Gorgeous. Every fucking synonym for the word ‘beautiful.’” He was amazed by her beauty, and he clearly wasn’t afraid to let her know. He loved the way she looked when she was shy and flustered, and when her cheeks would heat up too much for her own liking. But Harry thought she was absolutely adorable when she was feeling those emotions.

“Harry, you’re too sweet.”

“Mm, and I bet you are too?” He raised his brows, a smug smile appeared on his face. Luci bit one side of her bottom lip before she licked her lips.

“Then why don’t you hurry up and taste for yourself.” In all honesty, she was impatient, and she was eager to feel his mouth against her.

Harry chuckled, grabbing one of her ankles as he pressed a kiss to it, trailing his lips along the inside of her legs. He felt the goosebumps that had pricked her legs, and he loved having that sort of affect on her. Once he got to her thigh, he put her leg down and laid on his stomach in between her legs before proceeding to kiss up her thighs.

Satisfaction was handed to him when he heard Luci heavily breathing through her nose due to his heavy and teasing kisses when he hadn’t even touched her where she wanted it the most.

“Baby, please.” Luci’s tone was desperate as her arousal only increased, anticipating the relief she was going to feel once he touched her core.

“Alright, alright. Since you said ‘please.’” He removed her underwear and dragged them off her legs. The sight and scent of her only salivated his mouth, only ready to devour and pleasure her to the fullest. His blood had rushed below his waist, slightly straining against his sweatpants. “Fuck, aren’t you a sight.” Luci felt shy and intimidated under his stare, causing her to close her legs, but he was quick to stop her before she closed them all the way. “No need to go shy on me, Ci. Just admiring your beauty because you’re absolutely marvelous.” She thanked him, a small smile found her face. “Now, can I please get a taste?” He asked once more.

“Yeah, make me feel good.”

He kissed the crevice of where her thigh and vulva met before he licked her clit. A spark was sent through her body as he continued licking, sucking her sensitive bud into his mouth, pulling back slightly.

The feeling of his mouth on her was everything she ever hoped for. She had been so stressed about the changes that were happening quite quickly that made her feel on edge and extra needy. Especially when Harry was her boyfriend, looking extra good, she was particularly eager to jump his bones.

“Mm, yeah, like that.” She moaned out, bucking her hips against his mouth as the tip of his tongue rimmed around her entrance, collecting and tasting her arousal.

“Taste so good, fuck. Could be down here for hours,” he said before he boldly licked a long stripe from her weeping hole to her clit.

He took his thumb and rubbed the bud, making her jolt because of how sensitive she was already while taking his middle finger, lubricating it with her wetness before inserting it into her hole. He pumped in and out, curled his finger, and caressed her walls, all while slowly rubbing her clit in circles. Harry earned a throaty moan, and since his hands were occupied, he finally had a moment to really look at her and take in her appearance on what he was doing to her.

His beautiful girlfriend had her legs wide open with her back arched. She let out a string of moans and a series of curses as she placed her hands on her tits, kneading the flesh and playing with her nipples to only add to her sensitivity and pleasure.

Harry was rock hard once he had a taste of her, but seeing her playing with herself, touching herself was the cherry on top. As if he could help it, he bucked his hips against the edge of the mattress as he let out a soft moan of relief, even though he’d rather have Luci touch him herself.

“Harry. Harry. Harry.” She chanted as if it were the last and only thing she knew. His name off her tongue sounded like poetry—so sultry, so sensual, and so seductive. He never wanted another person to say his name again because for all he knew, Luci had possession of it.

“C’mon, baby. Get there. Get there for me, yeah?” He never once stopped his movements, and he would beat himself up over it if he did.

“Another…finger.” Luci requested, and he complied. Adding his index finger right next to his middle, he curled both of them up in sync, hitting the soft part of her upper walls and her g-spot.

He relentlessly hit her sweet spot over and over again, and it had Luci moaning loudly; her sounds bounced off the walls of her room, going straight to Harry’s ears. Just as Luci was, he was on the edge as well; he continued rutting his hips against the mattress and wanted to release so badly, but he was waiting for Luci’s pleasure to wash over her.

Replacing his thumb that was rubbing her clit so graciously with his tongue, he flicked his tongue up and down in a fast motion as he kept fingering her. She was quick to respond to the change as she tightened around his finger.

“When you’re ready, baby, come for me.”

Those were just the words that she needed to hear; her breaths were staggered as they were caught in her throat. For a moment in between the anticipated orgasm she’d been waiting for, she looked down at Harry because she knew that with just one look at him, she would combust. And when she did, Luci met his jaded eyes that were looking so hopeful for her release, like he was hungry for it. Her mouth fell open, disconnecting her vision from Harry as she threw her head back onto the pillow while her orgasm had tickled her skin into a toe-curling, back-arching, and loud-moaning pleasure that took her breath away.

The rough tugs of Harry’s hair from Luci’s hands and the taste of her orgasm on his tongue only gave him the release that he was working for. He moaned against her core as the vibrations were sent through her body, making her shake. Harry’s hips slowed its movements as he breathed heavily through his nose, licking and tasting every drop that Luci had to offer him.

Harry rested his head against Luci’s thigh; they both were catching their breaths from their orgasm as soft huffs came from their mouths. She propped her elbows up and looked down at the gorgeous man below her who was pressing kisses to her inner thigh. Running a hand through his hair, Harry looked up and she gave him a sweet smile. He crawled onto the bed, still in between her legs as he propped down onto her chest; Luci giggled at his adorableness.

“You’re…,” she couldn’t finish her sentence as her orgasm made her speechless. Harry planted his elbows next to her, coming face-to-face with Luci before pressing a kiss to her lips. She could taste herself on him as she swirled her tongue with his. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, anywhere, Ci. I should be thanking you, though.” Luci tilted her head in confusion. “I, uh, seemed to have taken care of myself also,” he said bashfully as her eyebrows raised. So, that’s what all the moaning and heavy breathing was about, she said to herself. “I’m sorry, that’s kinda embarrassing-”

“No.” She immediately stopped him. “That’s not embarrassing at all. That’s actually pretty fucking hot.” She reassured, the corner of her lips turning up.

“Really?” He’d never came before while eating someone out, but he’d been so captivated by her sounds and her taste that he couldn’t help but let himself go.

“Hell yeah, baby.” She placed a hand on his cheek, pulling him in for a kiss. Their kiss didn’t deepen or lead to anything more than just sweet affection; it was enough to ease all of Harry’s worries away.

Once they giggled and shared a few kisses, they cleaned up and refreshed themselves for bed. Harry’s ability to make her feel incredibly good had made her forget that she had a flight to catch early in the morning; and it would take her away from Harry for four months. Her sadness and anxiousness had begun to settle once they finally got comfortable under the covers—more so, Harry was comfortable as Luci was anxious.

Despite the dreamy orgasm, her body was tense against him, and he’d felt it easily. He turned his head to look at her, and her mind was present; she stared up at the ceiling, toying with her fingers as she rolled her foot in circles, her ankles occasionally cracking once they returned to the starting point.

“Hey,” Harry broke her away from her thoughts; Luci looked up at him. “You okay?”

She nodded, though he could still sense her unsureness. “Just sad…nervous,” she admitted.

Harry lowered himself on the bed so he could be leveled to where she was laying. They shared a pillow, which they’d done plenty of times and left no room for the ‘cold side of the pillow.’ But it was intimate and sweet, and a mix of both their scents combined.

“Tell me what you’re thinking?” He asked softly.

Luci took a deep breath before she started. “Everything’s happening so fast, and it’s making me nervous. I-I just don’t want things to completely change.”

“Nothing’s gonna change, Ci. And if it does, it’ll be for the better. Your career is gonna take off and you’re gonna star in so many amazing films and shows. That’s what you wanted, right?”

“Yeah…” The one thing on her mind had been bugging her for the past few days, and it drove her up the wall once she thought about it too much. But the only way for her to put her gear into reverse and come down from that wall was to tell him the truth. “I don’t want anything to change between us.”

If he was being honest, Harry had thought about that quite a bit. Hell, he’d thought about it even before he asked her to be his girlfriend and when they were just friends. He had thought about how when Luci was famous, their relationship and friendship was bound to change. Would they still be together? Would they still be friends? Would she forget about him and forget about their time that was spent together? So many questions had scrambled in his brain that all of the overthinking thoughts felt so familiar to him.

But he wasn’t going to spew out every single one.

Instead, he kept an optimistic attitude about their relationship.

“Nothing’s gonna change, alright? We’re gonna get through this. And if things do change, we’ll work together to adjust to it,” he reassured, although he was unsure himself. He didn’t want to add more fuel to the fire Luci had in her head at the moment because that would only make things worse. Plus, she had a flight to catch early in the morning, and she really needed to rest now.

His words seemed to calm her mind down, and she was grateful that one of them was stable enough to comfort the other. So, she nodded, taking what he said to heart. They were gonna get through this, and she put her whole faith on them.

She murmured a ‘thank you,’ feeling too tired to talk any more as it seemed her head had exhausted her. She got comfortable next to Harry, tucked away in his side as her fists huddled up the material of his sweater, wrinkling the area. Harry rubbed her back, soothing his girlfriend for a little before hearing snores, thankful that she was able to sleep with no trouble.

He lied awake in a complete daze as the only thing on his mind was Luci and how amazing she was without the complete knowledge that their relationship was definitely going to change.

It had been two weeks since Luci left for California, and Harry had never felt more alone in his life, not even during the times before he met Luci. He knew it would only get better with time, but he’d gone months talking and seeing her almost everyday until this moment.

She made sure to text him whenever she got the chance to, which he was relieved about. Her texts had always provided a sense of comfort and happiness to him whenever he saw her name on his phone. Each greeting was filled with excitement and longing. Whenever it just so happened that Harry was busy and Luci was available, she’d text him ‘I miss you,’ along with other types of messages that practically begged Harry to get a glance at his phone to see who was blowing up his phone.

Their new long-distance relationship was unfamiliar as neither of them had ever been in one before. It was unspoken how they handled it, besides from the basic ‘call or text me when you get the chance.’ However they knew they’d face the problem head-on together.

“Alright, everyone, hope you all have a great and safe weekend!” Harry announced once the loud bell rang before them. “Make sure to catch up on all your readings, please. You know who you are,” he said in a teasing tone.

He sat down in his black chair that swiveled and reclined, great for his back; a few of his students had asked him a few questions about their essays once he sat down, which he was happy to help and glad to see that they were using their time to ask him questions. He said ‘goodbye’ to the last student who was exiting his classroom and wished him a ‘happy Friday.’

Pulling out his phone from the top drawer of his desk, he smiled as his phone lit up, seeing a message from Luci that was sent thirty minutes ago.

Finished with table reading :) Might go for some drinks with the cast. Hope class is doing well!

Quickly, he typed back. His fingers seemed to take over, hoping she’d see his message before she puts her phone down for another few hours.

Hi, baby. Just finished with class and gonna head home in a bit. Are you up for a call later tonight? No worries if you can’t and you’re out. x

Harry set his phone down once he didn’t see the bubble pop up as he looked at their message thread for two minutes. He figured he could get some grading done and impute the student’s grades into the system so he could distract himself and make use of his time.

Every five minutes, he would pick up his phone, and once he saw that there was no text from Luci, he’d put it face down and get back to work. He did that for the next two hours, and ended up staying until four, grading papers and constantly checking his phone.

A knock on his classroom door had made him whip his head towards it, finding his colleague standing in the doorframe.

“Not going home any time soon?” Carina, one of the math teachers, crossed her arms and smiled a bit. She was one of the first teachers Harry had made friends with and one of the closest in the school. She’d been working at the middle school for three years and had introduced Harry to the staff once he started teaching. Harry had to admit, he had the slightest bit of crush on Carina as her red hair and green eyes seemed to attract him.

They hung out a few times, mostly inside one of their classrooms during lunch. Harry even developed the tiniest crush on her, only because Carina was a new person in his life and she was quite nice.

There had been one Friday where Harry invited her to his apartment, and they popped a bottle of wine and talked and drank. She was nice, Harry thought. But the wine had gotten the best of both of them and they soon found their lips pressed against one another. Harry thought it was nice to kiss someone, but as Carina pulled his hair and stuck her tongue into his mouth, he realized that his crush for her had disappeared instead of heightening as it was supposed to. So, he stopped her by pulling back, explaining that they couldn’t do that anymore and that he was sorry. He truly didn’t want to lead her on. Luckily, she was understanding and told him that she was going to head home.

But to his surprise on her way out, they ran into Luci who was just unlocking her door from a night out. On the inside, he was freaking out because his new neighbor had caught him red-handed—the neighbor he thought was incredibly beautiful. And he found himself completely drawn to her, pushing his feelings for Carina out of his body and welcoming the new profound feelings he had for his neighbor.

“Uh, I’m not sure yet,” he answered.

“Okay, well, since it’s still early, I was wondering if you’d like to hang out?” She asked confidently. Carina had always been quite confident and was a people person. Harry, on the other hand, wasn’t so much a talker when it came to new people; it really depended on that person’s vibe.

He weighed his options in his head. He so badly wanted to talk to Luci tonight, or whenever he got the chance, and he was afraid that whenever she did text back, he’d be hanging out with Carina and not giving her his undivided attention because he hated being on his phone when hanging out with someone.

“Uh, maybe next time? Sorry, I’ve been-”

“No, it’s okay. I get it, you don’t have to explain. Have a good weekend, Harry.” She smiled, although he could sense the defeat from rejection inside before she walked down the hall and away from his classroom.

Harry felt bad, honestly. He didn’t like disappointing people or making them feel like what Carina probably felt. But he just hoped that his rejection still made them friends because he wasn’t really close to anyone in the teaching staff.

A big yawn took over him for a moment as he stretched his back and arms into the air before he decided it was time to go home. He hadn’t had much plans after Luci left, seeing as most of his plans for the weekend involved her, and he hoped that he could at least hear a snippet of her voice tonight to help fill the void of her presence.

But when Harry got into bed at eleven at night, he’d lost hope, and would try again tomorrow. It was minutes of tossing and turning, not finding the right position for his liking. So, he accepted his discomfort and laid on his stomach, arms and legs spread across the mattress. After a few moments of lying in silence, his phone began to vibrate against his bedside table. He looked at his phone that was face down on the wooden table, the slightest bit of light shining from the edges. Sighing, he decided to take a look at who might be calling him, and his heart skipped a beat when he saw Luci’s contact picture and name plastered all over the screen.

Quickly, he pressed the green button to answer. “Hello?”

“Harry!” She said loudly against the speaker phone. He could hear chatter around her and utensils hitting the glass plates, so he assumed she was at a restaurant.

“Hi, love. How are you?”

“I’m good.” She dragged the word ‘good’ out, giggling at the end of it. Luci had been drinking for a few hours now, casually sipping her drink that was barely enough to get her fully drunk as everyone was talking amongst themselves and eating. But one of her cast members had bought continuous rounds of tequila shots, so she was now to the point of drunk—tripping over her step, finding everything funny, and wanting to talk to her boyfriend. “I miss you.”

“I miss you more, love. I’m so happy I get to speak to you, even if it’s just for a moment,” he said honestly. He truly believed that not talking to Luci up until he slept at night was the reason why he was up, completely sleepless.

“Me too. I’m sorry I didn’t text you back…” she said softly as she stood in the middle of the hallway of the restaurant that led to the restrooms.

“No worries. I’m glad you’re having a great time, though. That’s all that matters to me is that you’re happy.” His genuinity made her eyes full with tears. She wasn’t usually someone one who cried when she was drunk, but just hearing Harry’s voice and not being physically next to him made her emotional. Sue her.

“I am having a great time. Just wish you were here.”

“Me too.”

“Miss everything about you.”

Harry smiled, laying on his back with one of his arms propped behind his head. “Yeah?”

“Mhm. Missed your hugs, your kisses, your eyes, your lips. Swear, they’re the best lips I’ve ever kissed.” Her voice was low, not wanting the people who passed her to hear what she was saying for Harry only

He couldn’t help but blush at her flirting. Even over the phone and on the other side of the country, she still managed to make him blush while his heart flipped.

“Well, now you’re just flattering me, baby.” His accented voice that was crackled through the phone had sent a chill down her spine, making her bite her lip as she leaned against the wall.

“I’m being serious!” She exclaimed, talking over the loud clatter of plates and glasses as the restaurant was cleaning up for closing.

“What else do you miss about me?” Now, he was just teasing. It stroked his ego to hear her tell him everything she’d missed about him; it made him feel good inside.

“Missed…” she paused for a moment as she was unsure if she should say such a thing in public.

“C’mon, tell me, Ci,” he encouraged. His tone was pleading, and if she were right in front of him and not across the country, he’d be on his knees in front of her just by how he presented his words.

“Missed you between my legs.” She curled his lips into her bite, preventing herself from biting her lip as she might accidentally seduce someone that passed by.

Harry smirked. “Yeah? What do you miss about that?” He heard her sigh, and he knew that she was trapped under his spell that he’d miraculously casted from New York. With that certain memory, he constantly thought about it. The sounds she made. The way she tasted. How she felt in his hold. It made sure she was tattooed in his mind.

“Missed how you made me feel good; how your mouth and fingers felt inside of me.” Her voice itself was enough to get Harry’s cock to twitch inside of his sweatpants as it was extra raspy because she was trying her hardest to keep her volume at a low level. Now, she couldn’t stop confessing everything she missed about him, and who was Harry to tell her to stop? “I miss the way you would lick me, how you would tease me a little even though it drove me insane. I missed the way your hair felt between my fingers, and when you would moan because I pulled at them roughly. I, especially, miss the way you made yourself feel good and how you came just from seeing me come. That was my favorite part of that night.”

She crossed one of her legs over the other as she squeezed her thighs together. Her words had given her blinks of flashbacks from their last night together; and oh, how she so badly wanted to make that moment last. Harry was fully hard underneath his pants, and he tried his hardest not to relieve the straining pain.

“Fuck, baby. You have no idea how much I miss you.”

“Promise me you’ll show me once we’re together again,” she demanded, and a smug smile appeared on his face.

“That’s definitely a promise, Luciana.”

There he goes again with her full name, Luci thought. Before she was about to respond, she saw the group get up from their chairs from her peripheral view.

“I’m looking forward to it, baby. I-I gotta go.” Their chat had sobered her up just a tad bit, and the wetness of her panties had slightly woken her up, wishing Harry was there to take care of her.

“Alright, love. Get back safely, please, and text me when you get back to the house,” he requested softly, not necessarily wanting to know her every location but to know if she’s safe.

“Will do. I…adore you.”

Harry smiled. “I adore you so much more.”

With that, they hung up. Luci said goodbye to her coworkers before getting into an Uber to Thea’s home, where she would be staying for the time being; and Harry relieved himself by touching and making his hard-on go away with the thought of Luci in his head and how she tasted, which made him realized that he was going to need another taste of her so she wouldn’t disappear on his tongue,

After three weeks of rehearsals and getting to know each cast member and crew on set, Luci was exhausted. Ocean’s Eight was mostly going to be filmed in LA, where the production had a set built, but she anticipated the two to three days where she gets to be in New York to film in the Met Museum. So, being in the same state as Harry only excited her further.

It hadn’t even been a month yet nor had they even begun shooting for the film, but getting through table reading, rehearsals, and an entire run-through of how the movie was going to be filmed was taking a toll on her physical health. She felt like she hadn’t slept properly, or had gotten a good amount of sleep ever since she left New York; and mentally, she was missing her family and Harry.

Her family had always made sure to check in with her to see how she was doing because just like Luci, they shared the same excitement for the first movie she was acting in and missed her dearly. She continued to make contact with Harry, but it wasn’t as much as she would like to. Work had been so busy for her that whenever they started to have a decent conversation other than the usual ‘hi’ and ‘how are you?’, her break would be over and she would have to walk away from her phone, which was the closest she’d been to Harry in three weeks.

It was almost five in the evening on a Wednesday night when everyone had wrapped up for the day. Sighs of relief were heard through everyone as they all knew that rehearsals were over and sometime within the next few days, they were going to start shooting.

Luci packed up her belongings, taking an extra water bottle for the road before she said goodbye to everyone and headed out of the studio. It was a chilly evening as the soft winds brushed past her while she quickly made her way to her car that she’d rented out. The white Honda Civic keeping her safe on the roads of Hollywood was nothing like the subways of New York, but it was a nice change since she hadn’t driven in a while. One thing she absolutely hated about driving in LA was the traffic and the aggressive drivers in said traffic; and all Luci could do was groan, saying that they weren’t going nowhere with that kind of traffic. It’s always the Prius drivers who’re reckless, she thought.

Just as she was about to get inside the car, one of the producers, Jane, had called out for her, catching her before she drove away.

“Hey, Jane. What’s up?” Luci rolled down her window.

Jane took a deep breath, catching her breath. “I’m glad I caught you before you left. This is the new schedule for next week with all the scenes that are scheduled for each day. You’ll start filming in a week, so you have a small break. So, you’ll come back here for a few days to film a few scenes as needed, and then, we’ll be off to New York, and back here again.” She explained.

With her eyes wide, Luci took the freshly printed schedule that had a calendar outline until the end of April. Jane had highlighted her scenes, in which she’d have to go on set, and it seemed like she was booked until April.

They talked a bit more about some scenes, and Jane let her know that she may need to be on set even if she wasn’t filming but her actual start date for shooting was a week from now. They bid each other ‘goodbye’ as Jane told her that she’d see her next week, and Luci had a surge of happiness rush through her as she headed back to her temporary home for the next few months.

Unlocking the front door, Luci stepped into the dark hallway as she immediately kicked off her shoes and hung her coat in the closet right across the front door. She quietly tiptoed to her room down the hall, her feet covered in fuzzy brown socks that padded along the wooden floor as she made her way straight to the bathroom to shower off the long day she had. The scalding hot water hit her skin as she washed her scalp and used her coconut-cream body scrub that she’d been using for years, lathering up the suds and spreading it on her skin.

Once she finished in the bathroom, she headed over to her bedroom, pulling the soft pink comforter back before she laid down on the mattress as a breath of relief took over. She shifted towards the left side of the bed, towards the figure that was sleeping on her side; the familiar scent engulfed her senses.

She pressed her chest against his back, wrapping her arm around his waist as she placed a soft kiss to his neck that was exposed from his t-shirt. Her worries had washed away once she took him in her arms; the amount of comfort she found was astonishing, but she was grateful for that comfort.

He shifted and turned around in her arms, making her pull back a little bit as to not wake him from his slumber. He was now face-to-face with her, eyes closed as his eyelashes fanned out against the top of his soft cheekbones while soft breaths puffed out of his mouth. Carefully, she pushed back his floppy hair that had landed in his face, and she admired more of his beauty.

After a few moments, he moved once more but this time he felt a pair of arms around him, making him jolt as a way to wake himself up. Luci stared at him with an amusing smile on her face as she watched him wake up to realize that she was in front of him.

Blinking a few times, his vision cleared and what he saw struck him—he felt like he was dreaming, though he's not complaining if this was a dream.

“Luci?”

“Hi, Harry.” She responded, a smile plastered on her face as her eyes glossed, from what he could see in the dark room.

“W-What are you doing here?” He leaned against his elbow, slightly sitting up to fully wake himself, testing to see if this really was a dream.

“Came to see you.” Luci simply stated, brushing the side of head. Harry’s eyes were droopy, confused, and still sleepy.

“But…how-”

“Shh, we’ll talk when we wake up again, okay? It’s, like, five in the morning.” Harry had no energy to protest, but he also didn’t want to sleep because if this was an actual dream, and the next time he woke up again and Luci wasn’t holding him, then he would be very sad and disappointed.

As the minutes passed by, the two found themselves laying together and looking at one another; neither of them spoke a word as they basked in the silence and beauty and elegance they found in each other. The moonlight hanging far up in the sky and the distant lights from the city as a few people were getting an early start of their day was seeping through the curtains of the small window in Luci’s bedroom.

And this moment, dream or not, they held each other tight as they let exhaustion and sleep take over them.

The next time he woke up, Harry woke up in a frantic, gasping for air as his lungs shook him awake, begging to breathe. He looked over at the window, seeing that it wasn’t dark anymore but it was bright out in the cold and blue atmosphere. Recollecting his dream, he turned his head to the space beside him but there was no one next to him; the sheets were wrinkled and cold as he must’ve shifted around a lot in his sleep.

The time read 10:23 a.m on the bedside table. There was a moment of panic because it was a school day, but he remembered that he took the day off and called a substitute teacher in advance.

Groaning, he rubbed his eyes, grabbing the large glass of water on the bedside table before chugging the entire thing to fulfill his thirst. He walked to the kitchen to grab some more water until he saw his girlfriend in a wrinkled Whitney Houston tour t-shirt and some sweats as she flipped a pancake on the stove. Luci was swaying her hips, humming a tune, and Harry realized that she had earphones in, so she hadn’t heard him walk in. He stood still for a moment, wondering if this was another dream, but he wanted to act upon his thoughts where he would attack her with hugs and kisses, but disappointment would seep through him once he realized it actually was a dream.

But this wasn’t a dream. He wasn’t blissfully in his slumber, dreaming about his girlfriend. This was very real. The sharp sting of his fingers pinching his arm had reddened his fragile skin; he purposely bumped his elbow against the wall, hitting his funny bone as he bent down in hysterical pain; he gently slapped himself a few times until he realized this was all real.

Finally, the corners of his lips turned up as he walked to stand behind Luci. He placed the glass on the counter in front of her, making her jump as she turned around, pressing her lower back against the edge of the white countertop. She took out her earphones, setting them aside as she smiled, finally getting the chance to properly greet Harry.

“You’re here,” he said, bewildered at the thought. He turned the dial of the stove off before placing his hands on the edge of the counter, trapping her in his arms.

“Yeah, I’m here. Thought I said ‘hi’ to you when I got here, no?” She tilted her head as she looked up at him, running her hands up and down his arms; goosebumps enraptured on his skin. “Happy birthday,” she greeted; he thanked her, though he had almost forgotten it was his birthday. He hadn’t even checked his phone since he’d woken up as he was sure there would be plenty of texts from Anne, who was most likely getting emotional that her baby was getting older; and Gemma, who was having a blast that was turning twenty-eight since he always teased her for getting older. But the first thing he did was find Luci. “Oh, and happy one month.”

“How…”

Luci chuckled because he still seemed to have the same reaction when she’d arrived. “I was informed that I don’t start filming until next week. So, last night, right after rehearsals, I booked a flight out here to see you on my time off, just in time for your birthday.”

“Wow, I…” Harry was speechless. “If I’m being honest, I thought that was a dream. I was sad to see you weren’t in bed when I woke up.” He pouted dramatically.

Luci chuckled. “I’m sorry about that. For the new few days, I’ll make sure to stay a little longer until you wake up. Speaking of, I’m glad to see you made use of my spare key.” She raised her brows teasingly.

When she left three weeks ago, she’d given Harry a spare key to her place just in case anything happened, so he would have access to it. She also told him that he was allowed any time in her apartment whenever he felt like it, so a couple of times a week, he would let himself into her place and sleep in her bed. Her scent that was displayed all over the pillows and the entire apartment had brought him some sort of comfort, but her sweet fragrance couldn’t compare to her presence where he could wrap his arms around her body instead of a pillow and her comforter.

Harry smiled bashfully. “Well, you did say…”

“I know what I said, and I don’t mind it. I think it’s really adorable that you sleep here sometimes.” Luci pulled the sides of his t-shirt, bringing him forward so he was closer. “Now, can I get a proper kiss hello? I’ve missed you.”

He smirked, pressing his front against her before he took her face in the palms of his hands, leaning down as Luci tiptoed, they placed a loving and tender kiss to each other’s lips. Neither of them knew how they'd gone so long without the other’s touch because once they kissed each other, they couldn’t stop.

Everything seemed to align when they felt each other’s touch; the day seemed to get brighter, the birds chirped louder like they were singing a tune, and their admiration was stronger than ever. Every emotion and word was told through their kiss, and it was a kiss of longing and yearning. The pure desperation to compensate for the time that wasn’t spent kissing; a kiss that simply said ‘I missed you. Please don’t let me go this long without your lips.’

Matching swollen lips and a flustered state that was plastered on their faces seemed to be the theme of Luci and Harry’s reunion as they pulled back to catch some air. Harry quickly took her lips into his again before he bit down on her bottom lip, pulling back slightly, making a throaty moan escape from her, which ultimately caused Harry’s cock to bloat up.

“You can get more than just a kiss ‘hello.’” Harry muttered against her; Luci inhaled sharply. “I did promise you a little something once we were together again, right?” He challenged, a smug smile emerged on his face. His thumb caressed her cheeks, and she wrapped her hands around his wrists.

“You did.” She confirmed. “But it is your birthday, so I think I should take over today, no?” Her voice and words were doing everything right to his body. He felt every single word she spoke, and her sultry voice was going to be a broken record in his mind every single day. All he did was nod, not trusting his ability to speak. “Words, Harry, I need your words.” She’d said his words that he used when they were last together, when it was him who made her feel good.

“Yeah, take over, baby. Please.” He was completely under her spell, physically and mentally luring into her. Luci reached up to give him a brief kiss before she pulled his arm, leading him to her bedroom.

The back of thighs hit the edge of the bed, and she gently pushed at his chest so his back landed right in the middle of the mattress. She climbed onto the bed, legs astride his thighs as she began to kiss his neck, leaving a small hickey on his skin that he would admire until it faded. Playing with the hem of his shirt, she pulled away, giving him a devious smirk.

“Can I touch you?” She asked, looking so intently in his eyes.

He nodded. “Please.” His dreams and fantasy were coming to life as his mind had been filled with Luci’s body and touch when his nights were extra lonely. He didn’t need to fulfill himself with the minor satisfaction when Luci was prepared to do that for him as she lifted his shirt up, exposing his tattooed torso to her sight.

Harry took off his shirt, throwing it onto the floor before watching her become so immersed with his body. The permanent ink fascinated her, and she delicately touched the tattoos that were exposed to her eyes like it was a prized possession. Leaning down, she planted a kiss to the swallows on his collarbones, trailing down to the butterfly that was plastered on his stomach; Harry’s breath hitched as he felt himself get hard underneath her. She then licked down to his lower abdomen, where his happy trail lied between two ferns; and she opened her mouth and nibbled on the skin in between his laurel tattoos, making Harry internally groan at her tasteful teasing.

Running her fingers along the hem of his sweatpants, she asked him if she could take them off, to which he breathlessly responded: “Yes, please. Take everything off.”

His cock rested on his stomach while Luci took in his large size. Her mouth practically salivated at him; and she was eager to get him in her mouth, to get him inside of her. But she wanted to take her time to appreciate and admire his endeavours.

“You’re beautiful, Harry,” she complimented genuinely. Harry looked down at her, and just as he was about to thank her, her tongue licked the base to the tip of his needy cock, earning a loud exhale from him.

She slipped the head of his cock into her mouth, sucking and tasting the pre-come that had spilled out of the tip, swirling her tongue all around. Harry moaned, throwing his head back onto the mattress as he gripped the sheets harshly, wrinkling in his hands.

Luci took him into her mouth further, holding back the urge to gag. She breathed through her nose as she bobbed her head up and down while raking her fingernails on his torso, increasing and adding to the sensation.

“Fuck, Ci.” He breathed out, panting. The slightest bit of embarrassment took over him for a moment because he felt like he was on the edge of an orgasm; it had been way too long since he’d felt another person’s touch, another person’s mouth on him.

Pulling him out of her mouth, a string of saliva followed as it connected to her bottom lip and the middle of his cock. “Like that, hmm?” She asked, batting her eyelashes at him flirtingly.

“You have no idea…” he trailed off, burying his hands into her hair. He didn’t mean to rush her into blowing him again—all he wanted to do was touch her, and the closest thing was her head—but Luci took that as a sign to continue her movements again.

“Fuck my mouth.” She requested. Harry’s eyes widened, not expecting to hear that from her; but everyday, she surprised him. “Please. Want you in the back of my throat.” She was trying her hardest to take him further than she would like, but she couldn’t quite reach that point. “Think you deserve that, birthday boy.”

Harry inhaled sharply, containing his demeanor as a smirk landed on his mouth as he sat up, sitting on his knees. Luci’s feet were planted on the floor as her upper body was laying flat on the mattress

He leaned down so his mouth was next to her ear as he whispered, “Best birthday ever,” before giving her a quick kiss. Luci placed his dick back into her mouth, wrapping her lips around his tip as she waited for him to take over. Harry tangled his fingers into her hair before slowly bucking his hips forward as he slid into her mouth. Placing her hands on the back of his thighs, she pushed him further, urging him that he could go faster; Harry complied.

Harry felt like he was on top of the world, like nothing else mattered except for this moment right here. It was like he was in between the soft clouds that could be matched for the blanket and mattress underneath him; like he was looking down at the nature and beauty of the world conform to the beauty of Luci below him; like he was screaming at the top of his lungs his secrets for the world to hear, which corresponded to the filthy words he was spewing out and his loud moans that filled the room up; and it was like the world was screaming back at him, which was a wild Luci moaning around him, sending vibrations up his body.

He was feeling everything all at once.

And he fucking loved it.

When he pulled back to check on his girlfriend, she gasped for air. She had tears in her eyes—a few had streamed down her face—her lips were swollen, and her hair was a mess—and Harry absolutely loved it. Luci kissed up his body, meeting his lips as she gave him an eager and sloppy kiss. Their mouths connected, and he tasted himself on her tongue with the side of Luci. The best flavor ever.

“Want you so bad.” Harry managed to say between the heated kisses.

“Have at me.” She moved past him, laying down on the bed before she quickly stripped her clothes off, throwing it onto the floor where it landed next to Harry’s clothes.

“You sure? Thought you wanted to take over?” He smirked teasingly.

“Unless you wanna take over, I’m very sure.” She reached into her bedside drawer to grab a condom—an unopened pack of condoms and a bottle of lube. “Mind if we use lube? I know I’m pretty wet, but I don’t know if I’m that wet, and I want you inside of me already and I want it to feel good for the both of us.”

“Of course, baby. Whatever you need to feel comfortable, feel free to do it.” He kissed her reassuringly before smirking, wondering how long she’d been waiting for this moment.

He grabbed the foil packet, and rolled it onto his aching cock that was begging for a release. Grabbing the water-based lube, he squirted some of it onto his hand and rubbed it on his length before running his hand up and down her slit, and to her sensitive nub as he circled his finger, making her mewl. He settled in between her legs, placing his arms near her shoulders as he hovered over her, kissing her sweetly.

Asking her once more if she wanted to push through with it, she gave her consent, grabbing his dick before lining it up with her entrance. Harry slowly pushed in as Luci gasped at his size; he was stretching her out so well that tears pricked her eyes, the overwhelming invasion of his girth and length had made her pant.

Once he was fully in, Luci looked down in between them, seeing he was balls-deep inside of her; they both moaned in unison.

“Baby…you’re so big.” She squeezed around him, causing Harry to hiss, gripping her hips tightly. “Move, please. Need to feel you.” She couldn’t count the amount of times she’d dreamed and fantasized this moment; her fingers and her vibrator weren’t cutting it anymore.

He began to thrust; her arousal lubricated his dick even more as he smoothly slipped in and out of her. Leaning down, he took her breasts into his mouth, licking and sucking as his hand fondled the other before switching. Luci slipped her hand in between their bodies, touching and rubbing her throbbing clit; Harry smiled at the sight.

“You look so fucking pretty touching yourself, Ci. Making yourself feel good?” She nodded, closing her eyes as she threw her head back. “Am I making you feel good?” Harry’s thrusts began to quicken as his hips slammed against the back of her thighs. “Tell me.” An urgent praise needed to fill him, and her filthy words needed to be spoken.

“So good, H. Fuck…” she continued rubbing at her swollen nub as the tip of Harry’s cock brushed against her g-spot. “There. Right there. Please, don’t stop. You’re so fucking good.” She cried out into the air as he continued his movements, sweetly hitting her special spot. Unexpectedly, she grabbed one of his hands and wrapped it around her throat, covering his large with hers as they squeezed her neck together.

Harry felt like he could come right there and then at the sight of their hands wrapped around her neck. He felt her squeeze around him once more, making him groan.

“Pretty girl, Luciana. Can’t get enough.” Even in her filthy state, she still managed to get shy at his words, making him chuckle. “Don’t go shy on me now, baby. I’m fucking you, and now is the time you get shy?” He squeezed his thumb a little bit more into her skin, feeling her pulse point that was quickly pounding hard. He took his other hand and rubbed at her clit since she stopped due to all the sensations she was feeling at once. Luci began to involuntarily buck her hips, moaning louder than ever. “C’mon, Ci, give it to me.”

After a few more thrusts, a few more rubs, and a few more squeezes, she came so intensely that she saw stars. Part of it was because she was lightheaded, but her orgasm had washed over so powerfully that her body began to slightly convulse. Harry came into the condom a few moments after as a raspy groan filled the air.

Once they calmed down, Harry gently pulled out of her, taking off and throwing the condom away in the trash before he laid down beside Luci. He pulled her exhausted body to his chest, and they laid there for a moment, regaining their energy back before they could greet one another.

Luci was the first one to break the silence. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you, baby. Happy one month.” He brushed her hair out of her face, placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Happy one month. So many more to go.”

Harry smiled at her words. He felt a certain reassurance once she’d said that, like he wasn’t the only one feeling the intense and quick feelings that laid between them and their relationship because he truly felt like their relationship was for the long-haul, and she felt the exact same way—no matter if they’d only just started dating.

So many more to go.

“I have your gift,” Luci said, detangling herself from his arms. They’d been cuddling for the past twenty minutes, talking about random things that came to mind.

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” Harry sat up against the headboard as she opened her luggage, pulling out an burnt-orange knitted sweater.

“I should’ve wrapped it, sorry, but…” she handed the folded sweater to him. “Happy birthday.”

“This is so cute! I love it.” His fingers touched the soft material, observing the details and the stitching. “Thank you so much.” He held her hand, gently pulling at it so he could place a kiss to her lips.

“I’m glad. I’ve been knitting it since October, and finally got the chance to finish.” Harry’s eyes widened as he felt his heart swoon at the fact that she was doing something entirely sweet and thoughtful for him before they were even dating.

“I truly love it. Thank you, Ci. Your talents continue to surprise me.” Luci smiled, nodding her head as she thanked him. Looking at him with bright eyes, she saw the world within him. She was so insanely lucky that Harry was her boyfriend, the guy that she met the day she moved in; a certain fondness fell over her.

For Harry’s birthday and their one month celebration, he wanted to take Luci to his favorite Chinese restaurant called Tasty Plates, two blocks away—the restaurant that he bought food from for Luci’s birthday. He wore the sweater Luci gifted and made for him since he was quite excited to wear it one of his girlfriend’s creations.

Upon entering, Luci noticed a very friendly atmosphere as the employees chatted with their customers as if they’d known one another for years, which they probably had. The smell of fresh and authentic Chinese food filled her senses, and she could already feel how home-y this place was.

The restaurant was a self-seated restaurant, so Harry led her to one of the tables next to the wall that had frames upon frames of pictures and signatures of famous celebrities, athletes, and chefs that had the privilege of visiting the restaurant.

“You’re gonna be up there one day.” Harry interrupted the intent observing that she was doing to the wall.

“Hmm. You think so?”

Harry nodded his head as if it was the most overt belief. “Absolutely. Being on this wall is, like, equivalent to having a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I already know they’re gonna have a picture frame bigger than all the others because they’d want everyone to see your picture.”

Luci smiled, appreciating the sweet compliment as she reached across the glass table and held his hand. They chatted for a bit before one of the waitresses, who was also the owner, had taken their order. Kai, greeted Harry with a wide smile, glad that he was able to visit their restaurant. Harry introduced Luci to Kai, to which he earned a teasing expression from her; Kai practically knew almost every detail of Harry’s love life since the day he entered the restaurant, and Harry really didn’t mind—Kai provided him with some of her wiseful advice on relationships since she’d been in plenty of them in her time; but a piece of advice that really stuck to him was when she said ‘You’ll meet hundreds of people as you grow older, but you’ll know when you’ve met the right person. And if there’s anything that I’ve learned, it’s that when you have that person, don’t let them go because you’re going to regret it.’ Kai was speaking from personal terms, and she proceeded to tell Harry the story of when she met her husband, the co-owner of the restaurant, and how they went years without talking and loving, which were the most difficult years she’d ever went through.

And Harry carried that advice everywhere he went.

Kai brought out their food in a record-breaking time, saying that since Harry was her special customer, he got special treatment at the restaurant. The three joked around, laughing and teasing before Kai left their table, allowing them to eat. Luci excitedly told Harry everything about work—her cast members, famous actors and actresses along with producers that she’d met on set, and her upcoming schedule. She was glad to have someone to share this information with, aside from her family, and just the thought of telling Harry everything excited her.

“I’m pretty booked until the end of April…” she mentioned.

Harry looked down at his food before looking back up at her. He noticed a certain look that she carried, and it was a look of guilt. He placed his chopsticks on top of his bowl of rice before he grabbed her unoccupied hand, holding and caressing her skin.

“Talk to me,” he said softly. He didn’t want to assume what she was thinking; he’d rather hear her voice her thoughts.

“I feel bad, y’know. I mean, we just got together and we’re not even spending time with each other because it’s my fault-”

“Nothing is your fault,” he objected.

She looked at him sadly. “If you think about it, it kinda is. Harry, we’re spending our one month anniversary when we haven't seen each other in three weeks. What the actual fuck is that?”

“Well, I know you’re not going to quit the movie; plus, I wouldn’t let you.” He pauses for a moment, furrowing his eyebrows, mouth turning into frown as if a realization had just hit him. “Unless this was a mistake-”

“No!” She shook her head, and Harry immediately felt bad because she looked like she was about to cry. “This will never be a mistake. One of the best choices I’ve ever made when I asked you out.” She reassured him. “It’s just…we’re supposed to be in the honeymoon stage, y’know? How could we do that when I’m always working and on the other side of the country?”

Harry understood, he really did; and he didn’t know the way to answer her question since he didn’t know the answer himself, but he tried his best and said, “Well, then that just means when you come back home, we’ll still live through and be in the honeymoon stage four or five months from now.” And that answer seemed to satisfy her as she smiled, looking down at her lap as her cheeks heated.

Drifting away from the serious topic, they enjoyed the rest of their lunch by talking and laughing.

“What’s your mom like?” Luci asked, wanting to everything about him.

Harry’s heart fluttered. “Her name’s Anne. She’s great—one of the kindest women I’ve ever known.” Luci smiled as she listened to him talk about his mother. “She’s done a lot for me and Gemma, and even though we’re older now, she would do everything and anything for us all over again. That’s just the kind of person she is—selfless, kind, and definitely knows how to crack a joke or two.” He smiled at the memory of when he was a child and how his high-pitched laugh would come out when Anne would joke around.

“Is that where you get your love for jokes?”

“Definitely. Can’t say I have better jokes than her or else we’ll have a joke battle.” Luci laughed; she loved listening to him talk about his family. His face lit up every time, and he had a smile that replicated his childhood photos.

They talked for an hour before the conversations were coming to an end as a comfortable silence was washed over them. Kai brought out custard tarts, which she knew were Harry’s favorite Chinese dessert, that was on the house. They thanked Kai for their wonderful food, service, and for the dessert before Luci paid, tipping extra.

Kai told Harry that he’d better not be hiding Luci because she really liked her, and hoped that he would bring her back soon. Harry promised, even Luci said that she would visit even when Harry wasn’t with her, which made Kai very happy.

Back at Harry’s apartment, they ended up cuddling on his couch and eating ice cream together before he turned his body towards Luci and asked, “Can we talk about this morning?”

Luci turned her head towards him, raising her brows. “You mean when we had sex?” She wondered, and he nodded. So, she put her finished bowl of ice cream on the coffee table in front of them before giving him her full attention.

“I just wanted to know what you thought of it. Feedback is very much appreciated.” He smirked.

“Are you saying that so I could feed your ego more than I already do?” Luci teased.

“Maybe…”

She chuckled. “I liked it a lot. Sex had never felt like that before,” she responded honestly. No matter how many times she had sex before Harry, how many partners she’d slept with, Harry was undeniably the best one; and she thinks it was because he was her boyfriend, but either way, there was this compelling connection between them that had their minds and bodies were on the same page.

“I agree. But I also wanted to ask if you were open to new ideas in the bedroom. I know that we’ve only had sex once, but I couldn’t help but notice-”

“That I like being choked?” She took his words right out of his mouth, putting a devious smile on her face as she said them. He nodded, a bashful smile on his face.

“I’m pretty open, yeah. I haven’t tried many things, but there’s a first time for everything. So, I’m up for experimenting and I’d want some of my first times to be with you,” she straightforwardly said. He loved how honest and open she was, and it was just a quality that was going to be added to the long list of why he adored her.

“I feel the same way.” He smiled.

“Can I just say, though…I loved it when you talked to me the way you did. It’s really sexy and it makes me feel sexy.”

Harry smirked. “Noted.”

For the rest of the night, they talked about things they’d want to try on each other. They had a growing list of ‘yes’ and ‘no’ on things to try in the bedroom, which ranged from being handcuffed, blindfolded, over-stimulating, and mutual masturbation. Luci was open to spitting and slapping if Harry was down to try it, and he told her that was up for trying anything with her, but he answered that he’d love to test out the waters on those two to see if they both liked it.

It was only going to grow from when they experiment and talk about it again. Their conversation had sparked up a sense of arousal in both of them that they were fretting in their seat and couldn’t keep still. Luci noticed him grow hard in his trousers, so she straddled his lap, and asked him to take her to bed, which he wasn’t going to say no to.

He watched as she rode him to oblivion, throwing her head back as her tits glistened with sweat despite the cold weather on the first of February. Harry then ate her out, burying his tongue in between her folds. At first, he denied her orgasm, telling her that he’d allow her to let go once he gave her permission to because he wasn’t quite finished with licking her up. Luci was whiny as she cried out into the room, gripping his curls the hardest her strength would allow her. And when he gave her permission, she came on his tongue, his face, and his chest, wetting the sheets below her; and Harry swore it was the filthiest but hottest thing he’d ever seen. Their breaths were heavy, making the room even warmer than it already was with all the tension and passion that swirled through the air.

After they regained their energy back, they went a few more rounds until they were absolutely exhausted. And they both knew they were going to be incredibly sore the next morning, maybe even the next few days; but they say that the best kind of sore is when you’re finished with a workout, so Harry and Luci both categorized their rounds as the best cardio.

April 27, 2018

Cheers and claps were spread all around as the director called out the final cut to the final scene of the film. It had been a long and tiring process, but a wave of proudness and relief was felt throughout the entire studio.

Luci felt relieved she was finished with this project while still feeling a bittersweet rush of emotions. This was her first ever major film that she was a part of, and she felt nothing short of proud of herself at how hard she worked to get to where she was. But the journey wasn’t over yet as she couldn’t wait to start her next one, and where that adventure would take her.

Harry was all she could think about. She couldn’t wait to finally go home to him for a while and not have to worry about anything. They only saw each other for one and a half days at the beginning of March when she was filming in New York before she had to fly back to California, but one and a half days were better than nothing.

She hugged the crew and cast as a big smile stayed on her face for the remainder of the time she was on set. Everyone took pictures with one another after the cast had changed out of their wardrobe and costumes while the production crew was cleaning everything up.

Thea and Samantha arrived on set once filming was over to congratulate Luci. They hugged and took a few pictures, which was now going to be a tradition after Luci was done with a project. After everyone had settled down, the adrenaline ceased a bit, Luci headed back to her trailer with Thea. Before she could enter, Thea pulled her to the side to introduce Luci to a journalist who was waiting for them by the side of her trailer.

“Hi, Luciana. My name is Audrey.” They shook hands as Luci politely introduced herself and greeted the interviewer.

“Audrey is just going to interview you, is that okay?” Thea asked, and Luci nodded, seeing as it was for harmless promo. She was a bit nervous because this interview was probably for an important media outlet, and it was her very first one too.

Throughout the months, Luci had gone through media training since Thea mentioned that it was necessary and inevitable since she was now in the spotlight, so public appearances and special interviews were required for her to go through that training. Her media coach told her the basics: to be herself—people love to see true and raw personality to a celebrity; have interesting stories to tell upon asking because people will ask, and be passionate because the media loves to pick up on nitty gritty details about one’s appearance and attitude, which will cause them to flip the switch completely.

The entire process had overwhelmed her a bit as later that night, she called Harry in tears as she explained the training to him as he tried to comfort her through the phone from across the country.

He assured her that everyone was going to love her because she had a loveable and approachable persona to her that it would be difficult to not love her; Harry had almost slipped his three words that were lingering on his tongue to further prove his point, but he stopped himself, not wanting to say them over the phone.

Thea let herself into the trailer, leaving the two to begin the interview.

“Okay, do you mind if I record you?” Audrey asked, looking down at her phone, making Luci trail her eyes down to the voice memos app where Audrey’s thumb hovered over the record button.

“No.” She shook her head, and Audrey pressed the red button.

“So, Luciana, I was informed this was your very first major film project. How do you feel about it?” Audrey questioned in a professional interviewer voice.

“I-I feel very honored to be working in this film with so many people that I’ve watched on the screen growing up. This film has such an amazing crew and cast that it felt like family; and I learned so many things from this entire journey, so I’m very appreciative and grateful to be part of this.” She may have rambled a bit, but it was a solid and genuine answer.

“Who are your inspirations that you look up to while being part of this business?”

Luci thought for a moment, gathering the actors and actresses that popped in her head. “To name a few: Meryl Streep, Sandra Bullock—I had the honor of working with here—and Cillian Murphy, to name a few. I’ve also really loved and was always inspired by Giulia Stone. I loved all of the movies she did in the seventies, and she’s just so iconic and a legend that I will always admire.”

Audrey then asked about her upbringing—where the new and potential star grew up, and her past job on Broadway.

“Broadway was also a dream of mine when growing up, and the atmosphere was insane. I loved every minute of it, and I left the building with so much adrenaline and energy every night because the audience was always so wonderful.”

They then talked about her role for Miss Saigon, and Luci was reminiscent of her part before she stepped into the world that was filled with well-known actors and a big industry. In a way, she missed the Broadway universe, and for the first month of shooting for the film, she considered quitting and going back to Broadway as she felt like she wasn’t fit enough to be part of the job, but she pushed herself through (with the help of Harry and her family). She believed everything happened for a reason, and perhaps her time on Broadway was limited to what she’d expected because the film industry was calling her name.

“Last question to wrap it up.” Audrey chuckled. “Do you have a lover? Anyone special out there that has your heart? These questions will be asked frequently, so might as well get used to them now.” The curiosity poured through the interviewer’s body, and portrayed in her exterior as her eyes bulged, lips curled in as her hand moved her phone closer to Luci, making sure to get her answer on record crystal clear with no chance to mumble or hide her answer. Luci didn’t like how she said the last sentence, like it was an obvious question to ask.

For some prideful and egotistical reason, Luci didn’t want to fill her satisfaction, to fill the media’s curiosity in hopes to feed people the latest gossip and the inaccurate news. Sure, Luci wasn’t a big name, people barely looked twice at the mention of her name, but something inside of her didn’t want everyone to know what her personal or love life looked like; frankly because it wasn’t any of their business.

Confidently, she subtly leaned her head a little closer to the speaker of Audrey’s phone before answering, “No, I don’t.”

Audrey pressed the red button again to stop recording, and Luci would later on know that she made a big mistake saying that.

come talk to me about your feelings, thoughts, favorite moments and scenes! thank you for reading <3 next chapter will be up next saturday!

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles ff #harry styles writing #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x oc #harry styles series #boyfriend!harry #teacher!harry #actress!oc

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astranva · 4 years

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Power BFFs.

// masterlist //

Word Count: 2.1k

Category: Fluff best friend!harry, best friend!reader

Warning: None!

Summary: In which Harry’s best friend is a hijabi blogger and they’re everyone’s bffs’ goals.

Bonus: Instagram posts!

For as long as you lived, you have always been into fashion. You were the kid who chose to wear pink with orange long before Taylor Swift’s dress was the new cool, always one whom family went to for advice when it came to putting outfits together.

Hell, if someone could pay you for the times your mom was on the phone with your aunt or a friend and you heard her tell them “Y/N can help you with putting the clothes together! She studies fashion. Yeah, not a doctor but she’s doing a good job” you would be a billionaire.

You remember how shocked your parents were when you told them that you wanted to switch majors. How could they not when you told them that you decided to leave med school for fashion?

But you wouldn’t have taken the step if it weren’t for your longtime best friend – Harry.

You and Harry have been best friends for as long as you could remember, having had been your friend long before you even wore the hijab and you remember when you were 16 after deciding to wear it, having sat him down one day and explained to him what it meant.

He has always been supportive of you, and you, of him. You lost count of how many times you had helped him with his wardrobe choices, and every time he was more thankful that he had someone who was daring with fashion and saw it as he did; a form of expression.

You had a good relationship with his fans long before you decided to enter the fashion blogging world, and maybe fans liked you more because of how carefree and natural you were and how innocent and supportive your friendship with Harry looked. Hell, he talked about you whenever he mentioned his family and if that said anything, it would be that he saw you a Styles, a sister.

It was always fun whenever you styled Harry for an appearance, only so the both of you could sit back and watch their tweets and comments, always freaking out and gushing over how good he looked because of your fashion choices, adding memes along the way.

“How does that look?” You asked him, holding a dress on a hanger of you, looking down at the vibrant green color.

Harry, with 3 shopping bags in his hands and his eyeglasses on, shifted his weight on one leg before bringing his finger to his chin and he looked at the dress. “Think it makes your skin look a little dull, not pop.”

“You think so?” You mumbled as you moved to a mirror, nodding, “You’re right. God, I hate green.”

He chuckled, “No you don’t.”

“Olive green is nice, when we’re talking about trousers and skirts but tops and dresses? No, thanks. Looks good on you though, you lucky bastard.”

“Watch out, you’re looking a little green now, love.” Harry teased, a dimpled smile on his face.

“Oh, shut up, I’m not jealous of you.” You scoffed jokingly, fixing your headscarf to avoid looking at him, “Maybe a little.” You added, laughing quietly as Harry laughed.

“I think they have a beige one, hold on.” Harry’s eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as he looked around before walking towards a rack, searching through the colors of dresses for the one color he knew his best friend loved. “Ha!” Harry smiled in triumph as he reached the color, getting your size before holding it out for you.

You sighed in relief, “You are an angel. Sometimes.”

Harry rolled his eyes at you with a chuckle, handing you the dress before you both agreed to pay and head somewhere to have dessert for a treat.

You smiled at the cashier, watching as her eyes widened as she looked from Harry to you. “How are you?” You asked politely.

“Oh my God. Y-You’re-“ She looked at you before looking at Harry who smiled at her, too, “And you’re-“

“And you’re Sasha. Hi, Sasha.” You giggled, reading her name from her tag, “You know this goof?” You joked, pointing at Harry, “Was following me everywhere here,” you cupped a hand around your mouth, though still speaking at a tone louder than a whisper, “Think he’s a bit of a creep.”

“Hey!” Harry whined but laughed, “Don’t listen to her, love. She’s only doing that because I look better in green.”

It wasn’t unusual for you and Harry to tease each other, and it wasn’t new either that you did it in front of people. Perhaps it’s why people enjoyed being around the both of you together.

“You’re both adorable,” the girl laughed, finally calming from her moment, “I’m a huge fan of the both of you. And Y/N, congratulations on your new collaboration with Tommy Hilfiger. I think it’s amazing that you’re helping in representing more people in the industry.”

Your mischievous expression changed to a softer one, your hand going to your heart as your eyes twinkled.

“Right? Bloody talented that one is.” Harry smiled proudly as he glanced down at you, “Making history as she goes.”

“Aw, stop it, you two. I’m going to cry.” You cooed, “Thank you, Sasha. This means the world to me. Think this made my entire week.”

“It’s no problem,” she beamed, “I wouldn’t let you pay if I owned the store but…” she frowned.

“Hey, no. It’s your right. We all have bills to pay and as much as it would be nice, favors don’t really pay the rent.” You smiled with a shrug, handing her the money.

“Okay, true.” Sasha agreed, packing your dress before handing you the bag. “It was amazing meeting the both of you.”

“You think it’s okay if we get a picture together?” You asked before looking at Harry, “Can you take a picture of us?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Oh my God,” Sasha fanned herself before letting out a deep breath, shakily handing Harry her phone, “This is the best day I have ever lived in since I started working here.”

You giggled at that, watching her move from behind the cashier before she reached you. The both of you stood beside each other, you wrapping both arms around her as you smiled, her beaming as Harry took the picture – he took 3, just in case the girl didn’t like one of them – before you reached your hand out.

“Here, let me take your picture.” You said, taking the phone from Harry before exchanging places so you can snap a picture of him and the girl together.

As if to tease you, Harry made the same pose as yours, causing you to roll your eyes before you jokingly told him to “be original” to which he wrapped one arm around Sasha while the other was close to his face as he threw a peace sign – a classic Harry pose.

After hugging Sasha goodbye, you and Harry were on your way to his car to go somewhere else to have dessert and maybe spill the latest tea like you always did.

“I’m not so sure about working with them,” You said after taking a sip from your smoothie, resting your chin on your hand as you talked about a brand that had reached you for a collab, “Think they want it so they can look cool, you know? They don’t really care about the message or the representation of hijabi women and I just don’t want to get treated like the next cool trend and hey! Bonus for having a rockstar best friend. It’s ridiculous.”

Harry’s arms were crossed on the table, face showing concentration as he listened intently and nodded in understatement. “I get it. Sorry about that, love,” he sighed, “Wish I can do something about it. Feel helpless when I can’t seem to find any solution to offer.”

“Harry,” you rolled your eyes, “You’ve done enough for people. Besides, you’re growing and learning. This is the best solution.”

“Yeah?” He asked reluctantly, “Just sucks whenever I find the shit they write to you online. Don’t know how you do it.”

“What? Getting told that I’m oppressed even though it was my choice and the racist comments?” You chuckled a little, “Got bothered by it enough already. Just sick of justifying my choices. It’s like,” you thought before your eyebrows went up before pointing at him, “It’s like people with you and how you dress. The mean comments about your choices and the head-scratching comments about why you wear nail polish.”

“Took me long enough to feel comfortable in my skin.” Harry admitted, sighing with a shake of his head, “Wish people would just let people be.”

You shrugged, “Mean people are everywhere, it’s mostly about not letting yourself be one now. I actually feel like we’re at a time when people are unlearning most shit they blindly followed by older generations, the racism, the sexism, the double standards. This is generation is just,” you smiled, “It’s phenomenal, don’t you think?”

Harry joined in, giving you a smile and a nod, “It is. I’m where I am because of all these young people. Music legends are legends and are basically worshipped because of all the young women of their days. Sometimes I can’t even wrap my head around how societies belittle these people so much.”

“Right? They care more about shaping them than helping them unleash all this potential. It’s why they’re so angry sometimes, but so driven. Like, they had enough of silence and are now taking matters in their own hands.” You said, “But to be honest, it’s can be kind of sad sometimes.”

“How so?” Harry asked, sipping his smoothie.

“Like now you have people as young as 13 doing what world leaders should be doing. Really young people trying to teach older people why sexism is wrong and how they can help the Black Lives Matter movement and why they should. They shouldn’t be defending rights and protesting and dying, they should be worrying about their moms not cutting the crust off of their toasts or maybe some high school crushes. But it has to be done, you know? And if world leaders are staying silent, somebody needs to change that even if they’re only 13 for the love of God.”

That was the thing about yours and Harry’s friendship. While you both bickered like children all the time, you also always had heart-to-heart conversations that you couldn’t have with anyone and everyone. It was always comforting.

There were times when you didn’t agree with each other but it was never embarrassing or immature, you’d both state your point of views and find common grounds. It was never about winning an argument because you never could call it an “argument”, just a talk.

“How’s the tour rescheduling going?” You asked, the both of you drifting to another conversation.

harrystyles: Proud of you. Always.

fan0 CRYING

fan1 power bffs don’t @ me

fan2 are they dating? pls say yes

↳ fan3 when will people stop ruining friendships with shit like that?

yourinstagram are u sick?

↳ fan4 me when my family is nice to me

↳ fan5 me when my friends invite me to places

↳ harrystyles …

yourinstagram you know it all, H. you’re the best best friend anyone could ever wish for. cool photographer too. ❤❤❤

↳ fan7 HE TOOK THAT PICTURE HE’S SO TALENTED

↳ fan8 Hélène Pambrun who? We only know ✨Harry Styles✨

↳ yourinstagram don’t do my girl Hélène dirty like that

annetwist Looking beautiful! 😘

↳ fan8 I love this friendship sm

↳ yourinstagram says you! miss you loads xx

yourinstagram: harry out here looking like mr. pringles on a sour cream & onion can and i love it

fan0 HAHAH DEAD

fan1 ADHQWJDIEFIGHEFH HONTENT

fan2 y/n taking the piss at harry is my favorite thing

fan3 10 years of y/n giving us the hontent we need and deserve

↳ yourinstagram happy to provide

user aren’t muslims not allowed to drink wine?? why is harry holding one and why are YOU taking a picture of it? Lol

↳ fan4 leave her alone

↳ fan5 you know she’s free to do anything she wants, right?

↳ yourinstagram this is the amazing chef Massimo Bottura’s dark cherry balsamic vinegar but go off

↳ fan6 ENDED

fan7 This friendship makes me sleep better at night

harrystyles Is this because I look good in green?

↳ fan8 AJDGFKJWOI SHOW OFF

↳ fan9 I love them so much

↳ yourinstagram i dislike you sometimes

↳ fan10 ^ me because harry won’t release studio versions of medicine and anna

↳ harrystyles Love you, too.

yourinstagram: silky

fan0 LOOKS LIKE HARRY’S OUTFIT FROM TOUR IN NETHERLANDS

fan1 imagine looking like that

fan2 this is an au where harry is a hijabi woman

[harrystyles liked this comment.]

↳ fan3 OH MY GOD HE LIKED

↳ fan4 he: confirmed

harrystyles A look.

↳ fan5 I want to thank the queen y/n for teaching harry online lingo

#for my girls #wellbeafinelime #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff imagine #Harry Styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles fiction #harry styles fic #harry styles fluff #fluff #fluff one shot #hijabi!reader #best friend harry #best friend!harry #harry styles fake instagram #harry styles fake social media #harry styles instagram #hijabi

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hswarm · 4 years

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My Experience With Simvicii, Oliveandoak & Their Discord

I’ve seen a lot of posts going around in regards to simvicii, oliveandoak, their discord and private channels. I felt now would be the best time to speak out about my experience with these things. I think it’s best that people have as much information as possible.

Disclaimer: I am not innocent to anything and neither is anyone else in that discord. We are all at fault for allowing simvicii and oliveandoak behave the way they did as well as enabling/aiding in their behaviors. This is partly why I left tumblr back in March because I realized I had become the same type of person as them and I was disgusted with myself. This does not exclude me from any blacklash/punishment but I recognize my mistakes and left to address them.

How We Met: Probably around November/December or earlier back in 2019 Simvicii had dm’d me asking for a sim, this was when they went by a different username. At the time I wasn’t giving sims away because poor experiences but I had just followed her blog and became a fan so I gave her one. She later gave me a sim in exchange as well. The sim I gave her is who everyone knows as Hollie Evans. (More on this later)

Joining The Discord: After exchanging sims I never talked to Simvicii again so when Oliveandoak dm’d me asking if I wanted to join their discord I was a bit surprised. But me being me and wanting to be apart of something I chose to join, probably in early January. Everything seemed pretty normal at first but within the first few weeks I noticed a good amount of gossip going on. The server was still small and hand picked individuals so I guess they didn’t have to worry quite yet. Everything started pretty small/mild but then once the private channel was made things escalated.

The Private Channel: I guess under the safety of the channel Simvicii and Oliveandoak felt more comfortable being their true selves. Admittedly, Simvicii didn’t say too many harsh things but Oliveandoak definitely did. I remember on multiple occasions she posted screenshots of her asks and mocked the senders. There were a few asks where they didn’t quite make sense, most likely result of poor english, and she would mock them saying ‘wtf does this mean/how am i supposed to read this’ and others of the like.

Most of the time we, we being the others in the channel, would just go along with what they said. I noticed a few of them didn’t actually participate in many of those types of conversations, probably because they knew it was wrong. I myself would simply go along or ignore them because whenever I had tried to call Oliveandoak out for being too rude, mocking people, or simply tried to defend whoever it was she would get very passive aggressive with me.

Some Of What Was Said: For the most part I don’t remember a lot of the actual words and phrases they used but I remember a few of the topics. I know on several occasions they mocked their followers/people who sent them asks. They mocked simblrs they didn’t like. I actually remember three very specific simblrs being brought up almost daily by either simvicii or oliveandoak. They also would complain about people asking them to include POC or LGBTQ+ sims.

About The POC/LGBTQ+ Topics: I wanted to expand on this specifically because Simvicii is very good with words and a lot of us in the discord kind of were persuaded to agree based on how she worded things. So, most of the time the conversation was about how simblr forces people to include POC/LGBTQ+ sims and Simvicii felt that it was wrong or whatever because there’s a lot of blogs doing already + why should they be forced to do something on their blog, or something of that nature.

Now, to a degree I agreed with her simply because me being apart of the LGBTQ+ community I really hate seeing straight people trying to portray us. It almost always ends up weird and cringey. I didn’t want to see another person making that type of content. I just didn’t. So, I agreed and told her I didn’t think she needed to be posting that because she can’t related and it’s better to not do something you’re not informed on. However, that does not mean she can’t have LGBTQ+ backstory characters.

I know recently there’s a post going around with a screenshot of her talking about how asians are normally excluded from the term POC, especially here on simblr, and I have to agree. However, that does not mean you do not exclude the rest of the POC community in retaliation. Now, I’m not saying this to be rude but even when Simvicii makes “asian” sims they still look an awful lot like their white sims because their sim style makes them all look fairly similar. So, even when she made asian sims you could barely tell. But making asian sims does not exclude you from making black, hispanic, latino, middle eastern, islander, etc sims. You don’t get to trade one for the others.

Same with Oliveandoak. She got asks about her lack of POC sims and she complained saying ‘I have POC sims!!’. It doesn’t count when they’re all extremely white passing. I even personally sent her a dark skinned sim to which she switched the content on and made her look several shades lighter. This is a problem. Aesthetic or not you still need to include dark skinned sims and other races.

Moving on.

Hollie Evans: So, back to the original topic of Hollie Evans. A lot of you who know who Simvicii know who this sim is. She was one of the main characters paired as Romeo’s bff/gf/whatever. Well, yes I actually made that sim. HOWEVER, Simvicii claims (after 2-3 months of use) that the Hollie we see today isn’t actually my Hollie but a replica she made herself.

She claims that she ‘remade’ Hollie and just ‘used the same presets and everything’. I’m sorry but that’s not true. If you took a side by side of the two sims you would see that the facial structures are identical and we all know even if you try to recreate someone else’s style using the exact same content it’s not going to be 100% identical, which Hollie to her core is identical.

The thing that bothers me and hurts me is that she went our whole friendship telling me it’s the sim I gave her and then when confronted claims it’s not that sim, when clearly it is she just wants out of the doghouse. She sent Hollie to people for collabs without saying anything to me. She changed all her custom content ‘to match her style’ and she no longer uses the ‘Hollie Evans by Honeyswarm’ tags. Which the tag thing only happened after I left tumblr.

I think it’s extremely rude and hurtful to ask someone for a sim and then change everything about them, claim them as yours and share them with other people. It’s simply not right and she knows it. She would constantly bring up a blogger who had forced her to give them her sims and then ripped her off. She knows what that feels like and she knows that’s wrong.

There’s probably a hell of a lot more I could talk about, like the three blogs they always mentioned, how they all but basically convinced the private channel to exclude someone in the discord, their lack of care/empathy towards other server members/myself, admitting to sending hate to people they disliked/disagreed with and just their general toxic behavior and manipulation but I think this post is long enough.

I don’t have “evidence” to everything here because I never thought I’d need it/be posting about it but considering everyone’s coming out I figured I would too. The only “evidence” I have is in relation to our conversation when she admitted she ripped my sim off. If you’d like those I can share them but otherwise that’s all I have.

I don’t know if this post will reach anyone or even mean anything but I felt like I needed to say these things and make it aware to others. It’s always best to have as much information as possible so that’s what I’m doing here. It’s really up to you to decide what you do with it.

I also want to apologize to everyone affected by the things Simvicii and Oliveandoak have said/done. I’m so sorry I allowed them to say and do the things they said and did. I’m so sorry I didn’t stick up for y’all better. I was afraid of losing ‘friends’ and I was afraid what might happen if I went against them. That doesn’t make it any better but please no I am so deeply sorry for everything said/done in that server that I either aided in or allowed to happen.

-Honeyswarm

#if you want to know more or have questions feel free to send them here #ill answer everything i can #simblr #simvicii #oliveandoak #sims4 #the sims 4 #ts4 #s4

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retrievablememories · 4 years

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dress it up | taeyong

title: dress it up pairing: taeyong x black!reader genre: fluff? request: “Hello I sent this request a couple weeks ago right when request followed I just wanted to resend since it’s open again ❤️: I was wondering if you could write with something with taeyong and a black oc. I really like taeyong’s sense of style and I feel like he’d be a great brand ambassador. I was thinking something about him and reader meeting at like a fashion show.” word count: 3.6k warnings: some cursing, a lil vulgar language, some alcohol use a/n: i don’t have a clue how the fashion industry works and got most of my research from a cosmopolitan article, but here’s my take on it 🤡 i struggled with how to approach the plot and feel like it might be a little dry? so i apologize if it’s lacking :/

“This year’s fashion show is going to be interesting, I think. I heard a few of those guys from NCT are coming.” Your friend Diana comes over to the couch where you’re sitting and tumbles over the back of it, landing halfway in your lap. You shout as she does, narrowly avoiding spilling your bowl of cereal.

“NCT? Which ones?” You try to crowd closer to her phone to see if it has the answers; she’s been unable to come away from it for the last half-hour. She twists away from you so you won’t be able to see the screen, but it’s a little too late for that. “Ugh, don’t tell me you’re texting that idiot again. I thought you said you were done with him.”

“Don’t worry about that.” She chuckles nervously. “Anyway, it’s not 100% confirmed yet, but some of the reports have mentioned there’s gonna be Taeyong...ain’t he the leader or something like that?”

“I’m sure. Didn’t you know? I think he might be the same one who’s been on Melanie’s radar for a bit...”

“Melanie?” Diana’s head springs up from the couch cushion.

You nudge her and laugh. “Don’t look so shocked, she makes good choices sometimes.”

The other girl shakes her head. “Huh. I highly doubt it. The last few models she scouted were major divas and you know this. Who is going to sit all day and pick all the M&Ms out of trail mix? I don’t get paid enough for this bullshit.”

“Either way, keep looking. Whether you hate her choices or not, we’re still gonna need some fresh faces for this new ad campaign.”

Diana sighs and waves her hand. “I got it.”

“You should probably make sure you find more prospects this time, too. Jasmine was tryna throw shade last time because she had, like, 2 more than you.”

“Oh girl, fuck that. No one cares if you have more prospects if they’re all a bunch of Insta influencers and bored rich kids who bought their way onto the runway.”

You both laugh out loud at that, though Diana’s quickly distracted again when she gets a message.

“Don’t think I’m gonna forget about you and your man troubles, either. You need to leave that clown alone,” you say, pushing her off as you get up to go to the kitchen.

“Whatever! Just let me have my fun, it ain’t nothing serious.”

The day of the show is hectic, though that’s expected. There’s always someone—or a group of someones—running around like a chicken with their head cut off with how much work there is to do, getting people in their right seats and making sure the models are dressed properly.

You, Melanie, and Diana try to stick together for the most part, though Melanie quickly makes Diana weary with her nonstop talking. Jasmine is nowhere to be found, but you know she’s there somewhere. She got the same invite the rest of you did.

“Liza is gonna be pissed if Jasmine doesn’t show up,” Melanie comments. “Can’t get a good story with no editors on the job.”

“Are you not an editor anymore, then?” Diana says, unamused. “We’re here, too. We don’t need that girl to do our own jobs.”

Melanie sighs. “Well, I’m just saying...”

“Calm down,” you tell Diana. “We’ll do fine either way. See, this is what happens when you don’t listen to me; you’ve let this bum dude get you all wound up.”

She rolls her eyes. “Don’t start that here, let’s just find our seats.”

The three of you sit a little further back in the crowd with the rest of the editors, bloggers, and whoever else has come to get the scoop. The more famous people—aka, the celebrities and fashion designers—sit near the front for all to see. It’s like watching a bunch of pretty, puffed-up peacocks strut around and mingle together. Some of them clearly want to be noticed even more than the models, though all the attention they get isn’t the favorable kind.

Melanie makes an excited noise next to you, and Diana looks to see what’s reacting to, then perks up herself. “Look, there they are.” Diana nearly has to shout in your ear over the noise, nodding her head in a direction several feet away from your group. Just as she’s said, there is Taeyong, Jaehyun, Mark, and Yuta walking to their seats.

“Yep, that’s them,” you reply. “Are you gonna go talk to them after the show?”

“Me!? That might be better suited for you guys,” Diana says, looking at you and Melanie nervously. You laugh at her sudden change in demeanor.

“Come on. What’s wrong? They’re just men, and we’ve worked with plenty of attractive clients before.”

“I know, but…” Diana trails off, a skeptical expression written all over her face. “They’re just, uh, way prettier than I expected them to be. It’s a bit shocking.” You snort at that.

“You can’t be serious.”

Melanie rolls her eyes at the indecisiveness. “I will gladly do it if neither of you will.”

“I never said I wouldn’t,” you interject. “Just let me and Melanie handle the kpop idols and you can talk to the Instagram influencers who work your nerves so much.” You laugh, and Diana sighs, crossing her legs.

“Sure, sure.” As you all wait for the show to start, Diana sits up again. “Oh, there’s the bitch.”

You and Melanie both look. She must obviously be referring to Jasmine, who’s sitting with another group of fashion editors nearby and apparently having the time of her life. “As long as she don’t come back around here, I don’t care…” you say, sitting back in your seat.

“Nah, but let me find out she’s kissing a rival company’s ass. That sounds like information the boss could use, if you know what I mean.”

You laugh at that. “Girl. Not this snitching shit.”

“More mess.” Melanie shakes her head.

The show starts soon after, with the surrounding lights dimming a bit and the main spotlights illuminating the runway. There are a few speakers who introduce the show’s concept before the models come out, and then the music begins, loud enough to make your eardrums rattle.

The fashion show itself seems to go on forever, all the models and their outfits blending into one colorful mass of fabric and glitter. You still take notes the whole time, though, as you’ve been taught to do since you took the job. Even if you’re bored with the celebrities, the music, or the show itself, you still have to bring something good back home.

Possibly the most important of the show, there’s always time after it ends—and before the after party begins—for everyone to mingle and network. This is primetime for the editors and bloggers, who do their best to make as many connections and unforgettable first impressions as possible. Even if you don’t get an interview or deal that day, it’s always possible to make yourself memorable enough that they’ll reach out to you later.

You don’t plan on going home empty-handed today, though.

Making your way to the NCT members is not particularly easy, though you didn’t quite expect it to be. Many others are also determined on getting next to them, whether it’s to admire their looks, try their luck, or make an actual business proposition.

Finally, you and Melanie worm your way to the front of the crowd after some other editors have left. You quickly discover that, despite your earlier teasing, your friend was right; they really are much prettier up-close and in-person.

Taeyong, especially, is hard to look away from. Making eye contact with him makes you feel a bit flustered, which you aren’t quite expecting. You quickly get used to seeing celebrities in this line of work, which diminishes the starstruck factor after a while.

He’s the only member not currently talking to someone else, and you snatch that chance before someone else can jump in; you can already see another editor from one of your rival companies making a beeline for him.

“Um, hi! I’m Y/N and this is my coworker Melanie...we’re with InStyle Magazine. It’s great to see you here.”

Taeyong smiles at you warmly and shakes both of your hands. His hand is soft in yours, and his rings are cool against your skin. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Taeyong.”

“Did you enjoy the show today?” you ask. Another thing you’ve learned is that it’s better to make some kind of human connection with someone before asking them for any kind of favor. Unfortunately, not every editor follows that advice.

“Yes, it was amazing. Really exciting.” He raises his eyebrows. “Did you enjoy it, too?”

“Oh of course, it was great! So much fun, thank you for asking.” Melanie nods along to your words. “You’re pretty fashionable yourself,” you say to him, gesturing to his outfit. “But I’m sure you already know that; we’ve seen quite a few of your best looks.”

Taeyong shrugs as if he’s bashful about it, though his bright smile tells another story. “It’s a way to express myself...I mean, besides music, so it’s nice to go all-out.”

You smile. “It’s a great gift to be able to express yourself however you like. What would you think about exploring that with us at Instyle? I think it’d be a great opportunity to get to know you and your groupmates better, especially with how fashion-forward you all are. Is that something that would interest you?”

“I’m interested, and I’m sure the others would be into it, too. Maybe our managers can work something out?” Taeyong turns to the manager standing beside him and says something in Korean, and the manager appears to think something over for a moment before nodding.

Melanie jumps into the conversation next. “We also have connects with pretty popular brands right now, like Vetements. We can’t guarantee any deals outright, but it never hurts to get in touch. They’ve been looking for some new faces lately, and honestly, you’re a perfect fit in my eyes.” Melanie places her hands over her heart at the last sentence, and you giggle a little. She always knows how to pour the compliments on thick.

Taeyong’s smile is modest as he says, “Thank you.”

You end up swapping contact info—your boss’s number for their manager’s digits—so something can be arranged, and you text Liza immediately to let her know what’s up.

“Again, thank you so much for sparing your time today, you’re so kind,” Melanie gushes. You can practically see the stars sparkling in her eyes through her round glasses as she shakes Taeyong’s hand again, holding his with both of hers. You try not to laugh at this. Despite her history of less-than-stellar picks, she’s not usually one to let the inner fangirl slip, but now even her composure is being tested.

Still, your own insides get a bit mushy when he turns to you again and takes your hand. “Yes, thank you. We really appreciate it.”

“It’s a pleasure.” Taeyong’s eyes seem to linger on yours a little longer than necessary. Or maybe the pounding music has finally rattled your brain loose. Either way, you enjoy the moment for what it is before bidding your goodbyes and walking back through the crowd with Melanie.

You throw your arm around her shoulders, and she leans into you like she’s going to faint. “God. Was that real?!”

“If it wasn’t, please don’t pinch me yet.”

“We’ve already gotten the best of the best, so if you ask me, we deserve a damn drink right now.” Melanie pretends to throw a shot back and you laugh.

“Girl, not so fast. We still have to try to recruit a few more if that deal doesn’t work out. Liza won’t let us hear the end of it otherwise.” You sigh, not feeling very enthusiastic about it either, but decide to steel yourself for a long evening ahead.

The after party that night is packed with people; many are the same ones from the fashion show earlier, though there are also new faces. Diana rejoined you while you were both getting ready at the hotel and managed to wring all the details out of Melanie about your meetup with the group. Even now while sitting in the lounge, she still goes on about it.

“I still can’t believe this shit is really happening.”

“If the boss wants it to happen, then it’s likely gonna happen,” Melanie says.

Diana leans back against her lounge seat, nursing her drink and smiling to herself. “Jasmine is gonna drop dead when she hears about it...hopefully for real.”

You roll your eyes. “Stop worrying about what that girl is doing and just enjoy the party. We didn’t get all dressed up like this to let it go to waste.”

Diana throws her arm across the back of the lounge chair as she scans you up and down. “Yes, let’s talk about you and this little black dress, actually. Whose attention are you looking for tonight, miss girl?”

“Here you go. I just wanted to look nice, I’m not searching for any—”

“Hey, isn’t that Taeyong and Mark?” Melanie points to one of the room’s many entryways, and you and Diana sit up straighter to look. “Diana, don’t be so obvious, you’re practically breaking your neck!”

It definitely is them. You don’t know where the others are, but maybe they decided to split up and go to another one of the after parties in town. You suddenly feel nervous again, though you try to ignore it.

“Oh, they didn’t bring Jaehyun.” Melanie slumps in her seat, and you give her a skeptical look.

“I thought you liked Taeyong!? You were the one giving him goo-goo baby eyes back there.”

“Yeah, but Jaehyun is my favorite. It doesn’t hurt to make a good first impression. Maybe Taeyong will let my future husband know about me and we can finally get married.” You can only shake your head.

Diana looks back at you slyly. “Ah, I see. Is this who you’re looking to impress?”

You scoff. “You say that like I knew they’d be coming here.”

“Hmm, maybe? You never know.”

At one point, Taeyong catches sight of your little group and waves, and you all wave back. You don’t expect him to come over with Mark in tow, though, which makes you sweat a little.

“It’s you again,” Taeyong says, his smile wide, and his eyes flit across your body before coming back to your eyes. “You look nice.”

You’re a little embarrassed at the compliment, and you have to ignore the other two girls giggling like schoolgirls to avoid getting even more nervous. “Ah, thanks, you look nice too…”

Mark introduces himself next, and the other two fawn over how cute and handsome he is. It isn’t long before there’s someone else vying for their attention again, and they leave with an apology; but that is far from being the last time you see them that night.

Though both men weave in and out of the crowd, interacting with numerous people throughout the night, Taeyong seems to continually find his way back to you and your friends—or just you, if the other two are gone somewhere else. He even gets you to dance with him a bit. You enjoy his company, even if he does make you a little nervous. If there’s anything you could compare him to, you might think he’s like the sun itself, with everyone else in the room pulled into his orbit—but willingly.

“Don’t let this one slip,” Diana says in your ear after Taeyong’s pulled away yet again to talk to someone else. You jump from hearing her next to you, still expecting her to be across the room talking with some lifestyle blogger.

“Let...slip? We already told you we talked to him about the magazine—”

“Not that shit. It looks like he’s taken a liking to you. I wouldn’t let that pass me by, if I were you.”

“Put the wine down,” you say, reaching for her glass, but she only sidesteps you.

“Accept a damn compliment! You talk about me and my men issues, but you need to allow yourself to be complimented and cared for, for once.”

“Stop. Somebody can probably hear us, and I don’t even know the man like that.”

“You stop. He’s been buzzing around you all night. Honestly, I don’t know if he just wants pussy or an American romance but girl, I’d say yes.”

“Okay yeah, you’ve had enough.” You try to pluck the glass away again, but she twirls away from you and almost spills her drink in the process. You laugh as some people nearby give you both odd looks. “You were too afraid to even go and talk to them. Me and Melanie did all the work, and now you’re claiming you’d say yes...give me a break!”

“Alright, hold it against me forever if you please. Just don’t mess this up, okay?”

You shake your head. “Fine, if it’ll make you leave me alone.”

The party isn’t even close to winding down yet, but you figure it’s time to get Diana back to the hotel before she has one too many. And Melanie’s started complaining about her feet hurting, which always means she’s officially ready to leave.

There’s a veranda attached to the building where the party is being held, and you go out onto it to get some air after being crammed in with the others for so long. You only intend to stay a few minutes, waiting for Melanie to find Diana so you can leave.

You hear someone else walk onto the veranda, and you don’t initially think much of it. There are already a few people out here lounging on the steps and smoking, so you figure someone else must’ve come for a break too. You’re a little startled, though, when the person leans against the railing near you, and you turn to see its Taeyong.

“Tonight’s been fun,” he says, looking towards you casually. The night breeze rustles his hair a bit, and you know for certain your boss is going to be really pleased with this pick. He’s natural-born model material.

You hum in agreement. “It’s definitely been a long night,” you say, concealing a yawn. “I don’t think I’ve ever had such an exciting time at an after party, though. ”

He grins. “Really? Never?”

You shrug a little. “As much as they dress it up on the outside, not every party is very entertaining. Some of them can be...something else entirely.” You chuckle at some of the ridiculous memories you have.

“Well, I’m glad you had a good time tonight...and that we got to talk some more.” Taeyong’s eyes look remarkably genuine as he says this, and it turns your stomach all weird and fluttery. Maybe you should listen to Diana for once.

Then again, maybe you shouldn’t be fraternizing with someone who’ll likely be working with your company soon?

“I wouldn’t mind seeing you again, either. Outside of business.” He tugs at his lip very slightly with his teeth after he says this. Which might seem like a nonchalant move in any other setting, but here and now, with this mischievousness glittering in his eyes, it’s anything but.

Oh, fuck it.

“Hm. I’ll take you up on that, then.” You find a slip of paper in your purse and write your number down on it, giving it to him afterwards. When you momentarily glance back at the entrance to the building, you catch your friends watching sneakily from afar, flashing you thumbs-ups and grinning wildly. “Enjoy the rest of your night, Taeyong.” You smile.

“I will.” There’s a promise in his voice.

Your friends are all over you as soon as you get back to them, linking their arms with yours and crowding in to hear whatever tea you have.

“You guys, really? We were only out there for a few minutes.”

“It only takes 7 seconds to fall in love,” Melanie chimes in, and Diana laughs out loud.

“If you wanna hear it that bad, Diana’s gonna have to get sober first. I don’t need you posting my business all over Twitter tonight.” The other girl sighs and only tugs you and Melanie along faster so you can all meet up with your Uber driver.

“Fine, girl, but you’re gonna let me pick all your future baby names, okay?”

“Sure, sure.”

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blackbutterfliescal · 4 years

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Your Rainbow Will Coming Smiling Through

A Michael Clifford One Shot

Pairing: Single Dad!Michael Clifford & OC Zoey Clifford

Word count: 4.8K

Rating: Mostly fluff with a side of angst

Requested by: Absolutely not a goddamn soul. I’m just here to be soft n emo, I guess.

Content: 3rd person POV, OC Zoey as Michael’s daughter, major character death (main character’s spouse is dead), side of Malum because I couldn’t help myself

A/N: This is based on Steven Curtis Chapman’s “Cinderella” and it’s lived in my head for a long time. The title is based on lyrics from “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes” from Disney’s Cinderella. I don’t normally engage with a lot of dad!sos content for personal reasons, but this idea has lived in my head rent free for far too long so I hope you like it! Big big thank you to @devilatmydoor and @spicycal for encouraging me to get this one done!! It’s only taken me a month lmao

✨ Masterlist ✨

Let me know if you want to be added to or removed from my taglist 🌺

AO3 Link

Feedback is always appreciated! 😊

———

Dinner had been an event. It seemed like it was always an event these days. Pasta noodles and vegetables hung from the walls in the small eat-in kitchen, reminiscent of a Jackson Pollock. Michael let out a deep sigh and ran a hand across his tired face. He’d been so sure that the new recipe would be a hit, but his headstrong three year old had dashed that hope almost immediately. Since quarantine began a few weeks ago, she’d grown bored of staying home and had begun to take her frustrations out on the only other person around. Each day in the modest apartment brought a new challenge but the theme this week was picky eating habits. Michael had tried old favorites, trendy recipes from mommy bloggers, and he’d even let Zoey pick what he bought at the grocery. Honestly, he’d tried anything and everything if he thought it meant she wouldn’t fight him at every meal.

Michael picked up the plates from the table, scraping the few bites that weren’t subjected to his daughter’s wrath into the trashcan by the door. As the dishes landed in the small sink and Michael turned on the tap, he bent forward to rest his forearms on the counter. One glance around the warzone kitchen had tears stinging his eyes. He fought to keep them from falling to no avail, eyes blurring as the droplets got lost in the flowing water and spiraled down the drain.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. We were supposed to be in this together,” Michael’s voice was barely more than a whisper as his thoughts raced and he struggled to compose himself. His voice came out coarse as his frustrated cries hung in the air until it became too thick to breathe in. “It’s been nearly ten months and I’m still no good without you. Zoey’s just like you and I need you here.” He’d hoped setting his thoughts free might ease his mind, but it only made the words weigh heavier on his slumped shoulders. Michael’s pleas were desperate through the sobs. “I wish you were here. You’d know exactly what to do. You always did.” He was barely thirty when he’d been made a widower, carrying the constant grief of a life unlived, seeing a shadow where there should have been a spouse.

He’d been told repeatedly that things would get easier with time but he didn’t think there’d ever be a day where he didn’t need her, didn’t see her in their baby girl. He pulled himself upright with a deep inhale, using the back of his hand to wipe tear stains from his cheeks. Michael couldn’t stop the incessant sniffling brought on by the tears while he continued to take steady breaths through his mouth. He pulled all his focus to wash the few dishes still left from the night and placed them in the drying rack before shutting off the tap. He wrung out the dish towel and began using it to scrub down the mess on the walls. Their dogs seemed to have made quick work of cleaning up the peas that got sprayed across the tiled floor while Michael cleaned up Zoey in the bath and he assumed they’d already made their way to her room.

Through a few small, shaky inhales, he heard a familiar tune playing from the other end of the hallway. After tossing the bits of dinner that he’d pulled off the wall into the bin, he closed the lid and hung the dish towel across the faucet to dry. He quietly made his way to Zoey’s room as the music grew louder, sparing a quick glance in the hall mirror so his disheveled state didn’t alarm Zoey.

He had forgotten that he’d placed an old CD player in her room with several of his old favorites in a small case. Every now and then she liked to listen to his CDs while she played. She usually needed her dad to help her turn it on but it seemed she’d found the play button on her own and begun the same tunes they’d danced to earlier that week. Her curls, still mildly damp from her bath after the messy dinner, bounced around her round face as she spun in circles and giggles fell from her mouth freely. She’d slipped a sparkly dress-up outfit over her pajamas and the matching tiara had almost completely slipped free from her hair. Michael noticed both dogs intently watched from the bed and he let a bittersweet smile tug at his lips while she twirled around the room. Zoey reminded him most of her late mother when she smiled and it made his heart swell, reminding him that she wasn’t completely gone.

When Zoey looked up and noticed him in the doorway, a delighted squeal came from her mouth. “Daddy!! C’mon, I need you! There’s a ball at the castle and I’ve been invited and I need to practice my dancing. Please! Daddy, please!” She wrapped both of her hands around Michael’s fingers and tugged him to the middle of the carpet as if they didn’t have a care in the world. Once she was satisfied with where he stood, she steadied herself and placed her bare feet on top of his shoes, reaching out to grab his other hand. His grip on her was secure as he moved the two of them around merrily, careful not to let her slip from her place on top of his feet. Since losing Zoey’s mom, he’d promised himself that he wouldn’t let the little moments pass him by. He knew that someday, much sooner than he’d like, someone would steal his little girl’s heart away from him but he wanted to cherish every moment until then. Even if it did include meal-time tantrums.

The upbeat track faded out, replaced by soft guitar chords and a sweetly crooning melody. In one smooth motion, Michael lifted Zoey into his arms and began to sway with her. Her petite hand landed against his warm cheek as she met his green eyes. She studied him for a beat before he rested his forehead against hers and let his eyes fall shut. As Michael began to sing along softly, Zoey pulled away from his face and adjusted herself down to rest against his chest. He nuzzled her close and smiled at the memory that her mother had always found a calmness in the way his voice vibrated through his chest as well.

“Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go. You have made my life complete and I love you so. Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfill. For, my darling, I love you and I always will.”

It had been an exhausting evening and it didn’t take long for familiar snores to fill the air from where Zoey rested beneath his chin. He smiled and silently thanked the universe that the last song on the album had been a ballad. Careful not to wake her, he kept a gentle rock in his measured steps as he clicked off the lights through the apartment. Making his way back into her room, he lifted the light blue covers on her small bed while the dogs shifted toward the far end. When he tried to slide her onto the pillow, Zoey’s grip on his shirt tightened and she let out a sleepy groan. Michael shushed her sweetly with a lighthearted laugh and pulled her back into him. He reached down again to pull the covers back further, causing both dogs to move to the floor with a huff, before slipping between them and letting her rest on top of his chest as he stared up at the ceiling. He covered them both and began to hum the sweet melody once more, letting the combination of his voice and heartbeat lull his daughter to sleep again. It wasn’t long before they both drifted off to a much-needed night of rest.

———

With a contented sigh, Zoey placed her new boots on the floor, lining them up to sit below the dress hanging on a singular coat hook on the wall to the right of her closet.

She’d spent nearly every weekend for the past month piled into her dad’s car with her friends, scouring every dress shop in the city. In typical Zoey fashion, she wasn’t interested in an oversized dress with heels that she’d ultimately kick off after the first song played. Somewhere around the fourth store - or maybe fifth? - her friend had shoved her into a fitting room with an understated black a-line they’d picked for her. Though she wasn’t typically a fan of lace or tulle, she knew it was the one she’d spent her time looking for. She knew the lace appliques delicately placed across the neckline would soften up the leather boots and jacket she was already planning to wear.

She pulled one bare foot underneath her and plopped down on her bed, queuing up a lowkey playlist and admiring the outfit she’d put together. She could admit that it was nice to check the prom dress off her to-do list but the centerpiece of the outfit was her mom’s vintage leather jacket. Her dad had gifted it to her years ago, telling her about how excited her mother had been to save up for a real leather jacket and how she’d shopped through every store in the city to find the right one. Not unlike the way he’d seen Zoey searching for the right prom dress.

Of course, Zoey didn’t have many memories of her mom, except for the stories Michael had told her over the years. Somehow, things like her mother’s old leather jacket, still in great condition, made her feel connected to the woman she barely remembered. Zoey often wondered how she could miss someone she couldn’t remember on her own. Maybe some of it was secondhand grief from years of watching her father. Either way, she always felt too nervous to actually wear her mom’s jacket, afraid she’d do something to ruin it, wrecking the already thin tie she had to her. While Michael had always done his best to fill both parental roles, some problems were bigger than he could handle alone. On difficult nights when she needed a mom, Zoey dug the jacket out of the closet and just held it close, hoping to find some guidance from whatever cosmic forces were out there. Now, she’d decided, prom was as good an occasion as any to actually wear it out. It was a big night and she wanted to feel both of her parents there.

As she picked up her laptop to tackle the last few assignments of senior year, Michael’s knuckles rapped on the open door that led to her room. The sound pulled her from her reverie and she glanced up to see her dad in the doorway. Michael, mid-40s, donned large wide-rimmed glasses and his hair was cut short around his face. His natural shade had lightened quite a bit over the years while the ever-present scruff on his chin had taken on shining grey tones. He smiled fondly, taking in the outfit Zoey had put together as it hung on the wall before turning to meet her expectant gaze. Her smile beamed as she questioned, “Do you like it? Do you think Allison will like it? Her dress is baby pink so we’re going to be the least coordinated couple there. But I guess that’s fitting.” A small laugh fell from her mouth as she looked back at the all black ensemble. Michael still heard Zoey’s mom in that laugh and felt a pull in his chest seeing that jacket again. He nodded in response before pointing to the quilted leather. “She’d be so proud of you, you know?” His voice held a tinge of sadness amidst the pride he held for his baby girl.

“No!! No, no no. Don’t cry. You know that only ends with both of us crying!” Zoey slid the laptop to the side and made her way to the man occupying her door frame. He let out a sniffing laugh and shaky breath as she wrapped her arms around him while burying her head in his broad chest. Michael rested his head on top of hers before placing a small kiss on top of her hair. He’d always made sure that she felt safe with him. No matter what was going on elsewhere, it was the two of them versus the world. But damn it all if he didn’t wish that she had her mom here to see the amazing young woman she’d become.

Zoey’s playlist continued quietly and Michael began to rock back and forth as she relaxed into his arms. He knew moments like this would only get harder to come by in a few short weeks. She’d grown up in the blink of an eye, right in front of him. He wanted to keep her close as long as he could. It didn’t matter that dinner was downstairs, getting colder by the minute. Slowly, “Moon River” crept through the speakers and Zoey pulled her head back. “Wait a minute. This is the song we have to dance to,” she whispered. The smile on her face shifted from sweet to teasing and Michael braced for whatever quick-witted remark she had for him. “We gotta work on your moves, old man!” Michael rolled his eyes in response and let out a sarcastic laugh at her words. “Dad, the prom is just one week away and we need to practice our dancing. Please, daddy, please.”

It was custom that each senior waltzed with a parent, or some other guardian, at the very beginning of the prom. Families were only allowed in during this dance and would be ushered out after every group of seniors had taken their turn. Michael and Zoey had been at every after school rehearsal for the past 6 weeks, trying desperately to learn the choreographed steps. Zoey had mastered the box steps with ease. The turning box took a few more tries, but she got it eventually. Michael had taken even more practice though, and she was determined they would perfect the steps before they were in front of all her friends. He didn’t object, not wanting to embarrass her. Letting out an exasperated sigh, Michael stepped further into his daughter’s room, helping her push a few things out of the way as she started the song over and stood tall in her ballroom posture. Michael took small steps but still managed to run into a few things as Zoey coached him through the routine. They made it through to the end of the song unscathed and upright, counting that as a victory.

As Zoey let her rigid posture drop, Michael placed both of his hands on each side of her head, pulling her close again to place another kiss on top of her head. “We’ve got this, Z,” he reassured her. She snaked her arms around to his back as the next song on her playlist began. They stood still in the silence as a familiar voice began to croon through the air. “Do you remember that I used to sing this to you to get you to sleep? It always did the trick after a rough day,” Michael mused as his hands brushed over her hair, reminiscing on days gone by. She leaned back to look up at her dad’s face before answering. “Of course I do! Why do you think I listen to it so often?”

The greying scruff on Michael’s chin made her giggle as it tickled her forehead where he left a kiss. “My sweet girl,” he mused as they began to sway again. She hummed along with the melody before Michael joined in, smooth voice lilting over the recording.

“Love me tender, love me long, take me to your heart. For it’s there that I belong and will never part. Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfill. For my darling, I love you and I always will.”

In true Clifford fashion, Zoey’s stomach rumbled through the otherwise quiet bedroom as the next verse began. It sent both of them into a fit of laughter, reminding Michael of the reason he came up to her room in the first place - the dinner waiting downstairs. Zoey stopped her playlist before they made their way to the kitchen, voicing their concerns that the cats had jumped up on the counter to help themselves.

———

Zoey couldn’t help the smile stretched across her full cheeks as she parked her car in front of her father’s home. As she reached for the door handle, her free hand lifted the back of her fiancée’s palm to her cherry chapstick-covered smile and she placed a series of small kisses. Allison’s warm eyes met Zoey’s gaze with a blissful smile of her own before she spoke hesitantly. “The last planning session before everything is in motion. Ready for all the questions from Mr. Wedding Planner in there?” Zoey’s eyebrows quirked up and she reached behind the seats to pull out her planning binder. “Ready if you are!” They stepped out of the car and laughter followed them through the front door to announce their arrival.

The butterflies in Zoey’s stomach hadn’t diminished even slightly since the moment Allison got down on one knee during family game night. Though if Zoey honestly thought about it, the butterflies had been there since she worked up the nerve to ask Allison to prom as her girlfriend. She hoped she’d have the flutter in the pit of her stomach as long as she had air in her lungs.

The proposal had been intimate and thoughtful and sweet and perfectly them. Allison had enlisted Michael’s help, along with his long-term partner Calum, to spell out “marry me” on the game board during Scrabble. The three of them had needed to work together and it had taken a couple rounds of play for the right letters to show up. Zoey was so engrossed in the game that it took her a few beats to piece it together, even as Allison dropped to the floor in front of her while Michael tried to keep the happy tears from falling. Since then, the days had been speeding by at a dizzying pace and she felt like the big day would sneak up on her if she blinked too slowly.

They made their way through the home, cast in an amber glow from the autumn sunset, and found Michael and Calum putting the finishing touches on their typical Tuesday night dinner. Michael had always been a good cook but he’d thrown himself into more complex recipes with the extra time he had in his early retirement. The delicious aroma wafted through the open air to greet the brides-to-be as they exchanged familiar greetings with the gracefully greying men, arms held open expectantly.

“I see someone came prepared,” Calum teased, pointing in the direction of Zoey’s wedding planning binder. “I learned from the best,” she winked in return. Calum had earned his living as an event planner before retiring to spend his days with Michael and he’d been all too eager to help out. Sometimes he was a little overzealous, especially when it came to flowers, but neither bride worried over it. He had thirty-something years of experience and they would put his expertise to good use as long as he wanted to help.

“Well? What are you waiting for? You know better than to be shy around here - dig in!” Michael’s cheerful lilt brought out a chorus of laughter as the four of them began to pile their plates high with his savory creations.

Dinner together was never dull; someone always had a story to tell. Allison was gunning for a big promotion at work while Zoey worked hard to manage the small business she started last year. Michael told of all the highs and lows in his cooking adventures that week and how he’d befriended a neighborhood cat that had appeared on their porch. Calum had warned him not to feed it but eventually found the bowl under the front steps that he’d been sneaking scraps into. In the years they’d lived together, Calum made the local farmer’s market a habit and that week Michael had finally gone with him. He should have known Calum would have everyone wrapped around his finger. He couldn’t help his amazement at the way Calum charmed all the vendors into some sort of special sale for his produce, flowers, or baked goods. He noticed that Calum was the only one who seemed to be privy to these discounts. Michael couldn’t even be upset though because Calum had gotten a beautiful sunflower bouquet just for him. Calum would never admit that he just wanted to know he still had it - whatever it was.

With four sets of hands, clean up happened quickly before the wedding binder was sprawled across the table. They spent the next few hours pouring over choices for every imaginable detail. Calum had helped them create a checklist and prioritize important items and extremely time sensitive details. They managed to cross off a few more items on the checklist before Michael decided it was time to bring out dessert - apple pie with the tart apples from the “Apple of My Pie” stall that Calum had recommended at the farmer’s market.

When she was sure Michael was out of earshot, Zoey leaned across the table to whisper to Calum. “So when are we doing this for you two?” she asked as she threw a glance at her dad’s back. Allison did her best to control her laughter at the obvious prying. Calum simply waved her off with a smile, “We’ve been together, what, twelve years? Just after you started college? I think he’s stuck with me at this point, ring or no ring.” Zoey’s inquisitive stare didn’t falter at Calum’s light humor so he continued to entertain her question with a more serious tone. “You know… we’ve talked about it but he always said he couldn’t remarry after losing your mom. I always thought I wanted a wedding, even just a small one for friends and family, but it’s one thing I won’t push him about.” Calum’s eyes were filled with adoration as they settled on Michael’s back where he stood carefully slicing the pie. “He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’ll take this in whatever way makes him comfortable, in whatever way he’ll have me.”

When he turned back to face her, to see if his answer satisfied her curiosity, her eyes were brimming with emotion and concern immediately painted his features before she spoke. “I always thought maybe he didn’t remarry because of me, because he didn’t want me to feel left behind or something. And maybe that’s selfish or strange. But I couldn’t be more thankful that he has someone as caring and thoughtful as you, Cal.” Her voice had a slight rasp to it as she swallowed down her overwhelming joy. She punctuated her sentiment by placing her hands over one of his on the table. As he sandwiched her hands between his, he told her how lucky he felt to get to spend the rest of life loving Michael and that he didn’t need a marriage certificate to do that. Allison placed a grounding hand across Zoey’s back as they all inconspicuously sat back into their seats just in time for Michael to return with apple pie and vanilla bean ice cream. If he suspected anything about the conversation between his daughter and his partner, he didn’t let on as they continued to make their way down the wedding checklist between delighted mouthfuls of pie.

The hours passed as they sat around the kitchen table picking out scripts for the invites, flowers for the ceremony, centerpieces for the reception, and favors for the wedding party. Allison stretched her arms over her head, soliciting several put off responses at the loud cracking noise her spine made. “Ew, yourself,” she joked as she rose from her spot at the table. As she moved toward the living room, she turned over her shoulder to suggest that they all take a break from hunching over the pages of options laid out in the binder. Everyone else seemed reluctant, not wanting to lose the momentum they’d already built up. Allison turned her back to them and made her way to the record player next to the couch. She carefully pulled a sleeve from the shelf and let it begin spinning before making her way back to the table where the others still sat.

As she passed through the doorway, the beats of “Heartbreak Hotel” sounded through the room and she swung her hips wide with the best Elvis impression she could manage. The overstated moves earned a laugh from her fiancée and wolf whistles from the two men seated across from her. Allison pulled Zoey from her seat and shimmied them back into the living room for a dance break, despite Zoey’s protests that they still had several items to work through. Allison assured her that’s why she needed a dance break and that they’d get back to it as soon as the record needed to be flipped over. To Allison’s complete delight, Zoey caved and danced with her until the bluesy tune faded into a familiar ballad.

Zoey turned toward the dining room to find that Calum and Michael had followed to watch them from the safety of the door. The two men stood as if they were made to fit together. Michael’s head rested perfectly on Calum’s shoulder and his hands splayed softly across Calum’s stomach under Calum’s hands. Even so, Zoey knew she still had her dad wrapped around her finger after all these years. She put on the biggest puppy dog eyes she could manage and stretched out her arms before pleading with him, “The wedding’s still six months away, but I need to practice my dancing. Please, daddy, please.” His sheepish smile was bright in the low lamp light as he maneuvered around Calum. Michael placed a kiss to Calum’s smiling cheek as he squeezed through the door frame beside him. “You know I’ll never turn down a dance with my best girl,” he remarked as he took her in his arms. Calum, in turn, made a large sweeping motion as he bowed to Allison. “May I please have this dance?” Always a drama queen in every group. Allison laughed and took his hand, letting him lead her across the small room in an effort not to intrude on Zoey and Michael’s sweet moment.

Michael hummed along to the melody and his voice vibrated through his chest under Zoey’s head, sweeping a sense of nostalgia over her. “Dad?” she questioned as she lifted her head to look into his pale green eyes. They’d become even more pronounced over the years as the color faded from his hair, though he tried to hide behind the wide-rimmed glasses that stopped just above his full cheeks when he smiled. His eyes were slow to open and he only offered a hum in response. “What if we made this our father-daughter dance at the reception? I know it’s not a typical choice, but it would just mean a lot to me and -” Michael’s lips landed soft against Zoey’s forehead with a smile, immediately soothing her rambling mind. “I would love that, Z.”

Not trusting her mind and voice to work with her, Zoey simply nodded and nuzzled her head back into Michael’s chest, hugging him as close as possible. Michael’s smile grew as he tossed a glance across the room to where Allison and Calum swayed casually, lost in some giddy conversation if their expressions were any indication. With a contented sigh, he placed another kiss on top of Zoey’s curls. His voice was soft at first, only loud enough for Zoey to hear, but then it grew just enough to be heard over the record player as he sang.

“Love me tender, love me dear, tell me you are mine. I'll be yours through all the years, ‘til the end of time. Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfill. For, my darling, I love you and I always will.”

He couldn’t help watching Allison and Calum as they looked over fondly. Michael thought of all the times it was just him and Zoey against the world. Everything had changed so much since he lost her mom. He couldn’t believe how their little family had grown over the years and he was so proud of the life they’d made and the love they all shared. Michael tried not to let his emotions get the best of him, but he couldn’t help the crack in his voice as the last lines closed out.

———

taglist: @easierlftv @haikucal @mashlums @youngblood199456 @calumbroutledge @alltimesos @another-lonely-heart @castaway-cashton @itsjen223 @bloodyoathcal @vapor5sos @myloverboyash @justhereforcalum @karajaynetoday @spicycal @devilatmydoor

#my writing #michael clifford #michael clifford one shot #michael clifford fluff #michael clifford blurb #calum hood #malum #malum fluff #malum blurb #malum one shot #it only took me nine years and im sure it'll flop but at least it doesn't live in my head anymore lmao alsdkjfhlakjh #does this count as malum??? kind of???

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thesvenqueen · 4 years

Text

The Black Flamed Candle

Rating: G

Pairing: Kristanna

Summary: A life taken too soon. A plan set in place to save her soul. Now she waits, and listens, for the right time. Her lover, once before, to return back to her side, For only he can light the candle, and bring her back to life. (My contribution to the Halloween Zine 2020)

Happy Halloween everyone!

He pauses his work as he hears his door slam open, looking up to find a familiar face.

Instead of a sweet smile, however, it is stricken with fear.

“What’s happened?” He asks, dropping his tools to come to her.

“There’s--there’s not much time I--” the woman sobs.

“What is it, what’s wrong my love?”

Sad blue eyes look up to him, voice shaky as she speaks, “I’ve been accused.”

~.~

He’s eight when he first sets eyes on the Sander’s house.

They’re on a field trip to celebrate Halloween. Kristoff isn’t sure how he comes across the old cabin, but he does so with ease.

That’s where his teacher finds him, the young boy staring intently at the old house.

“Oh Kristoff, you found the Sander’s house. Do you know the story?” The boy shakes his head, turning to look up at her. “Well, it’s said that two young witches lived there.”

“Witches?” He says, the word new to him.

“Yes, witches. They could do magic!” The teacher says with emphasis, “but these witches were bad witches, they did awful magic to people.”

Kristoff isn’t sure why, but without hesitation he says, “No they didn’t.”

His teacher goes silent, simply looking down at him confused. “What?”

“They didn’t do bad things,” he says, more sure now as he looks back to the house, “They didn’t.”

“How do you know that?”

Kristoff shrugs, “I just know.”

~.~

“By whom?”

“I do not know. I only know because of Elizabeth, she overheard one of the members whispering.”

“They will not hurt you,” he says, grabbing hold of her hands, “I will not let them lay a hand.”

She smiles at this, another sob escaping her, “I can not ask you to defend me.”

“I do so willingly,” he says, kissing her knuckles, “I will protect you with my life.”

~.~

It’s his first Halloween when he’s able to go off on his own.

He’s only 13, as his mother likes to remind him constantly, but he feels more like an adult than ever before. He’s outside, no parents in sight, free to do whatever he wants. It’s every kid’s dream.

They’re playing hide and seek, trick or treating long forgotten, and as Sven begins to count Kristoff takes off to the woods.

All the good hiding spots have already been found in previous games, so the pressure is on. He’s still running, not sure where he is nor really caring because he has to win.

It’s only when he breaks through the trees, feet hitting a concrete path that he stops.

He looks both ways, trying to catch his bearings and he realizes he’s made it to the park. It’s not far from his house, he knows this, but he’s surprised either way to find he’s made it here of all places.

Then he feels it, a chill running up his spine that causes the hairs on the back of his neck to rise.

Something was here, what exactly he isn’t sure.

It’s not Sven, no way he had caught up to him just yet.

Still, something was here and that something was pulling him to follow, beckoning him to come.

He looks behind him, not hearing or seeing a sign of Sven or the other boys from the block, and turns back down the path.

So he follows.

It doesn’t take long for him to find his destination, Kristoff coming to a halt when he sees it.

The Sander’s house.

It’s creepier at night, a contrast to the broken down cabin he’s seen within the day. Now it stands in the moonlight, early dark and broken before him.

As it does every time, he feels familiarity upon seeing it. As though he knows what lies inside, knows the makeup of the old house. Knows that the kitchen, as small as it is, lies to the right side of the cabin, giving way to two small sitting chairs near the fireplace. Knows that it has two bedrooms, one of which he knows has a bundle of dried wildflowers hanging above the small bed.

More importantly, he knows that it held happiness here.

It’s then, with that thought, he hears it.

A soft laugh, carried in the breeze and it makes Kristoff jump.

He doesn’t wait, doesn’t hesitate to bolt back into the woods, leaving the cabin behind him.

~.~

“I can not bare the thought of losing you, of you dying because of me.”

“And I can not sit back and watch you die.”

A knock interrupts them, the man instinctively moving in front of her and grabbing hold of the fire poker. Ready for whomever may come for her, for his love, his heart.

But it is not the village nor their leader, it is her sister.

“Elizabeth? Why are you--”

“There is not much time, have you told him?” The younger sister nods. “Then we must make haste.”

~.~

Kristoff hears the family clock chime as it calls the hour.

10:00.

The house is still, silent as the clock’s song finishes. For a minute, Kristoff listens to any movement, any sign of someone awake.

He hears nothing.

With that, he eases out of his bed, still dressed from earlier today.

He’s thankful his mother did not question his desire to stay in his room this evening, assuming the 16 year old was merely bored and watching horror movies within his room.

He’d watched one to pass the time, some new one Sven had recommended, turning the tv off to give the illusion he’d gone to sleep. It had worked.

The window slides up easily, hardly making a sound as he pushes it up. Steadily, carefully, he climbs out the window. He is sure to take light steps as he turns, pushing the window down just enough where he can get back in later tonight but not open enough to draw suspicion.

Just as he turns to leave, he feels as though he is forgetting something. Turning back, he looks into the window and spies what it is he is missing. A lighter, one his friend had left behind that Kristoff held onto for whatever reason. He pauses before reaching for it, slightly confused at why he suddenly needed the lighter tonight.

He takes it though, sliding the window back up enough for his hand to sneak in and grab it, putting it in his jacket pocket.

The night is cool, autumn in full effect now on this Halloween night. Kristoff can hear a few voices down the street, no doubt a few teens still out and about enjoying the festive evening.

He ignores them though, going the path he has come to know far too well.

One he has come to follow every Halloween.

The familiar pull guides him, leading him to the destination in little time. He only stops when he is right in front of it.

Kristoff looks it over, trying to work over what exactly could be happening with him and this cabin. What has somehow created a connection with him and this barely standing structure.

He knows the stories, the history by heart. After the encounter 3 years prior, he took it upon himself to look up everything and anything he could on the house and the residents that lived inside. There was not much, only small bits and pieces here and there but it was enough.

Anna and Elizabeth Sanders.

Sisters who had come for the new world nearly 300 years ago, leaving behind their home in Norway. There was little known about their parents. Only mentions of them being well liked and respected in their home village. They had journeyed before the girls, traveling to the new world only a week prior. Their ship never reached its destination, and historians assume it was lost at sea.

The sisters found their way to the new world as orphans, settling in the cabin that sits before Kristoff now. They had been well liked, from what he could find, by majority of the village.

After that, it was all rumors and speculations, tales that had been told throughout the town.

No actual facts of what transpired that led to the youngest, Anna, to lose her life so young. Only that she had been accused of witchcraft, as so many women during that time had been.

No trial was given, only giving what the people then deemed as justice.

One blogger said that she was responsible for the disappearance of children, and thought that she was using their lives to keep herself young.

Another speculated she’d been careless, casting a spell in front of watchful eyes that led to her doom.

A reddit thread blamed it on a jealous man, scorned by her denial for her hand and accused her out of pure anger and rage.

An author had written it off as just another sad moment in history for women during that time, and that was it.

Though even having such little information, Kristoff was fully engaged into the story of this little house.

He’d never come close to the house, always staying on the paved path before it but tonight felt different.

He feels bolder, confident; not as scared like he was years before.

So he moves forward, taking slow careful steps as he comes to the front of the house. The porch, though broken and rotten, still stands strong as Kristoff steps upon it. It creaks with his weight, but it does not bend.

Kristoff stares at the door, the same feel of familiarity filling him. He rolls the lighter in his hand over and over, as though he is working up the nerve. Out of what feels like instinct, he brings his free hand up and knocks softly. The sound seems to echo through the night, into the forest around him.

Then it is still.

Eerily so.

Then, as the breeze rustles through the trees behind him and around him, he hears it.

It’s soft, barely there but he hears it well enough to jump back.

Kristoff.

His name, clear as day, had been whispered into his ear.

~.~

“Why don’t we run? I can prepare a horse and--”

“We can not,” The elder sister says, “there is no time. They were gathering as I came for you.”

“But--”

“I’m sorry.” she says, grabbing hold of her younger sibling, “I’m sorry I’ve failed you but I will not fail you again. I swear it.”

“You have not failed me.” She says, “It was not your doing that led to this, you did not cause this.”

“No,” the man says, his voice booming as the sisters turn to him. “I will have none of this.” He says, turning to find a true weapon, “I will not hear goodbyes, I will not accept this fate.”

The young woman turns to her lover, placing a hand to his chest to still him. He does so, tears stinging his eyes as they do her own, and he can not think of a world where she is not in it. Of a time where he exists and she does not. He does not want it, can not fathom such a life.

~.~

The dreams follow after that night. As though his knocking had been answered after all, opening a door elsewhere that he could not see.

It’s always the same.

He comes to the cabin, knocking the same as he did once before but this time the door opens revealing a home no more in shambles but tidy and clean.

There, just inside, stands a young woman.

From the moment Kristoff first saw her in the dream, he knew instantly that he knew her. How or where or why, he was not sure, but he knew her immediately.

From her long strawberry blonde hair, to her sea colored eyes, the freckles that scattered across her face, the large bright smile that she always has when he enters opens the door, the way her eyes seem to sparkle, to ignite as he comes in; as though he brings hope, brings her so much happiness that no one else can.

Every time, without fail, she stands behind the door and everytime she holds a large black candle in her hands, its flame oddly glowing the same eerie black as the candle.

He comes to her, standing before her and watches as her eyes follow him, still smiling a radiant smile. She looks to him, then to the candle and just when he moves to touch her, to place a hand to her waist or cup her cheek, he wakes up.

When he does, he is always filled with an intense feeling of dread and sorrow.

~.~

“I can offer something.”

The two lovers turn to the eldest, watching as she pulls a book from beneath her cloak and begins to turn the pages.

“What have you found?”

After a moment, the pages stop turning and the blonde haired woman speaks, “It’s a spell, one that I can create to give you the life you deserve.” She is crying now, reading through her tears, “It won’t be enough, not nearly enough, but I can try…”

The young woman comes to her sister, placing a hand on her shoulder to bring her eyes up to hers, “You’ve done more than you know dear sister.”

The older sister sobs, both sobbing as they hug one another. The man watches them, his heart slowly shattering at the notion this may be the end.

“Ok,” the oldest speaks, pulling back as she looks back to the book, “There is not much time so I will have to explain quickly…”

~.~

While everyone else moves away, including Sven, Kristoff can not bring himself to do it.

College in and of itself was difficult enough. The familiar pull to come back always there, nearly begging and pleading him to do so.

He was never too far, only an hour or so away, but it was enough to make his chest ache. For the first time, his dreams change.

No longer is the woman smiling as he enters, a sadness now in her eyes every time he appears. The candle she holds is no longer lit, adding to the sorrow that now sits within this dream. She speaks now, no longer quiet, and she always repeats the same thing:

“Kristoff.” She says, in her hauntingly familiar voice, “Kristoff, come back. Come home.”

So he does.

He graduates with his degree and finds a good enough job to pay the bills, a historian of all things, settling into a new routine. The ache is now gone, only coming back as it always does as the leaves begin to change to signal the beginning of fall.

It’s the morning of Halloween when he decides he’s going to do it. He’s waited long enough, pushed the idea away far too long now. Something, whether the woman or the cabin itself, wants him to enter.

Needs him to enter.

So tonight he will.

He’s planned it, able to snag the spare key to the house from security a few days before. He hadn’t even questioned the fact, assuming it was for historian things.

Kristoff spends the day preparing, for what exactly he doesn’t know. He’s nervous, ridiculously so, and he feels incredibly silly picking out an outfit to wear.

Why was he trying to look his best? He was going to an abandoned house, no one was there. Yet, something within him wanted him to do so. So here he was, making sure to be clean shaven, dressed as nice as he can without going overboard.

Night comes slowly, agonizingly so, and Kristoff sits impatiently for the sun to fully set. As soon as it does, he is up and gone, opting for a car this time instead of walking.

The whole drive he ponders, wonders, questions what could happen this night.

~.~

“And you’re sure it will work?”

“Yes, it shall work.”

She turns, facing him, the question in her eyes that she doesn’t need to ask. He sighs, nodding as his tears begin to fall.

She smiles weakly, understanding what is to come and they come together as they both desperately try to hold on to as much as they can for this last moment.

“I’ll come for you.” He whispers in her hair, “I promise you, with my life, I will come for you and we will live together. I promise you this Anna.”

The girl shakes as she cries in his chest, only nodding at his words.

“I love you.” He says, over and over, “I love you.”

~.~

Kristoff nearly runs to the house, not wasting any time to get to his destination. He picks up his pace when he sees the house come into view.

He’s panting as he steps onto the porch, adjusting his jacket and checking his pocket for the old lighter and the key. He takes a deep breath, preparing for whatever it is on the other side of the door, for whatever it is that has pulled him here every year.

To find what it is the woman in his dreams wants him to discover.

Kristoff pulls out the key, unlocks the lock from the door and lets it fall to the ground with an echoing bang. He looks back up, hand on the handle, and before he turns he knocks as he’s done so many times in his dream.

It’s pitch black as he enters, his eyes adjusting to the darkness within. It’s exactly as he’s seen it so many times, only dark and decrepit. The chairs have since fallen apart, barely standing and the kitchen is covered with dust and cobwebs.

More importantly, there is no woman within the house. No bright, welcoming smile to greet him as Kristoff steps into the home.

As he enters, as he steps across the threshold, there is an overwhelming feeling of calm that comes over him. A peace that causes him to pause in his entrance. It’s welcoming, comforting, something he senses he hasn’t felt in a long time.

While he stands, looking at his broken surroundings, he spots it on the nearby table.

The familiar and oh so recognizable black candle. It stands tall, untouched by time as it’s surroundings have been. It seems new, as though someone came in and left it there recently. Kristoff looks it over, turning the lighter over and over in his jacket pocket before pulling it out.

He moves to the table, the woods creaking beneath his feet, and he doesn’t know why but he must light the candle.

Has to light the candle.

There is a quiet click as the lighter creates a flame, Kristoff eyeing it then the candle before moving it slowly to the wick.

As soon as the candle alights, as the flame takes hold of the wick creating the familiar black flame Kristoff has seen in his dreams, he is consumed by a wave of memories.

Of a time so long ago, of a journey he once took abroad a small vessel to the new world. The days he spent building, working hard to create a home here, a life. Then they’d arrive, the two Sander’s sisters. Elizabeth was so calm and poise, a striking contrast to the lively and bright Anna who had taken his breath away the moment he’d laid eyes on her.

Of their awkward first meeting, at the sound of her laugh as he’d blushed furiously down at her. How they’d been inseparable ever since that day, sneaking off when they could to spend time with the other. Of late night walks under the brightly lit sky, of strolling through the town hand in hand, taking in what was all around them.

The night they’d spent alone in his cabin, Anna having snuck out to meet him. It was the night her secret was shared, was told to him in confidence and with eyes full of tears she had asked him if he still loved her. He’d simply said how could he not? How they’d shared more than secrets that night, giving each other wholly and fully to each other.

They’d been set to marry in the Summer, her favorite season, with a bundle of sunflowers which he'd planted for her. Just for her.

How she never got to see them, never had the chance.

The day that it came crashing down around them, her secret somehow exposed for all to know. She’d come to him, completely terrified with news of what had transpired, how a new villager had decided to go an unspeakable way of revenge after she’d turned down his advances.

The moment Elizabeth had appeared, plan in mind, to set things right and give them both a future they deserved. To give back what was to be taken away from them.

It would take time, she’d warned, lots of time but she swore, on her life, that they would get the ending they deserved. The happiness they both were supposed to have. All it would take was the lighting of a candle, the same candle that sat before him on the table.

Kristoff blinks, dropping the lighter to the table as he takes it all in. The old memories, the realization of what exactly this means.

He hears footsteps then, coming up the path to the door and Kristoff turns as he hears the floors creak under their weight. He holds his breath, waiting in excitement and awe as she listens to her move through the door.

“Kristoff?”

He gasps at her voice, at the wonderful sound of her saying his name.

A few more steps and she appears.There, standing before him now, smiling and beaming at him with the same beautiful smile he’s always loved, was Anna.

He smiles, tears falling as he simply stares. He doesn’t move, let alone speak as he takes in the sight of her, of the woman he had so wholeheartedly and completely loved.

Whom he still loved, would forever love.

Anna moves closer, the tears in her eyes now visible and he doesn’t reach out till he hears her say his name, this time in absolute utter relief.

“Kristoff.”

He breaks, moving and wrapping her in his arms then, holding her close to his chest as he breathes in the scent of her, takes in the feel of her small arms wrapping around him.

“Anna.” he whispers in her hair, “Anna, my Anna...I’ve missed you.”

“And I’ve missed you.” She says, pulling back to face him. He cups her cheek, he himself now sobbing at the feel of her leaning into his hand, a subtle reminder that she was here; she was real.“What took you so long?”

Kristoff laughs, full and deep before capturing her lips with his own.

#kristanna #kristoff #anna #halloween zine 2020 #jessica writes #the black flamed candle

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purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1195

survey by n0b0dysp3rf3ct

—:: Who ::—

... was the last person you saw face to face? I passed by my brother last night when I had to go to the kitchen to fill up my tumbler.

... was the last person you texted or messaged online? Angela; I was just asking her for the difference among A4/A5/A6 since I’m now planning to buy a binder and sleeves for my rapidly increasing collection of photocards and postcards. It really frustrates me that A4 is the biggest one and A6 the smallest :((((

... was the last person who asked you for a favour? Kata, my manager. She filed a half-day leave last Friday to get herself and her family vaccinated in her town, so she had sent me over a very long to-do list of deliverables that she asked me to fulfill while she was out. Eventually she ended up filing a whole-day leave since she felt feverish after being under the sun all day, and also possibly from side effects of the vaccine, so I ended up carrying the entire workload for the day. I like Kata and she’s a very easy person and superior to work with, so I honestly couldn’t complain about it.

... was the last person you lent something to? Ooh, I don’t remember. I don’t really lend people things.

... was the last person who told you a secret/confided in you? Andi was just sharing to me their worries about taking the LAE (scheduled for today) and how they’ll be okay if they don’t pass.

... is the tallest person you know? Jo is like 5′7″ and we all look like beans when standing next to her. One of my uncles is also very tall; around 5′10″ or 5′11″ if I’m not mistaken.

... the shortest person you know? I think Aya? That’s just a smart guess, though; I haven’t seen most of my friends in more than a year.

... your oldest (in years) friend? Mik is turning 28 this year. Sometimes I forget just how much older he is than me since we vibe really well together during the rare times we did get to hang out. I’m still bummed we never got that smoke break we wanted to have.

... is the oldest (in length of time) friend? Angela.

... is your youngest friend? Hannah was born in 2000. Peter was born in 2001 but we aren’t that close yet.

... is your newest friend? I haven’t made any new friends recently. Stan Twitter is lonelier than I thought it would be; everyone is already friends with everyone so it’s hard to break that space. Not to mention everyone is also grossly younger than I am – I keep seeing profiles with ‘2004′ on their bio :/ I should start making an effort to look for older ARMYs lol, I definitely feel like I’d have more fun that way.

... is your closest relative? My eldest cousin on my mom’s side, my Kuya.

... was your favourite teacher? My music teacher from high school. I neeeeeever liked music as a subject and it was never a priority of mine, but she always kept our classes something for me to look forward with her advice and the way she was always able to make lessons interesting.

... was your least favourite teacher? Those who made it clear they didn’t like me, even though I didn’t do anything to deserve such hostility.

... did you spend the most time with when growing up? My siblings and cousins since we all lived together at one point.

... knows you the best? My two best friends.

... always beats you in games or sports? Andi would probably be able to beat me in any game. They just let me win because they know I can be a sore loser.

... who is the most creative of the people you know? My family is pretty artistic and I have a lot of talented relatives - my sister and my cousin Maggie paint and draw; my mom can make any kind of craft she wants, with her hnds; and one of my grand-aunts regularly does paintings. I think all of them are amazingly creative in their own way.

... is the funniest person you know? Probably Andi. Hans makes me crack up too.

... is the most organised that you know? My mom.

... that you know has travelled the most? My dad. Both our fridge doors are filled from top to bottom with magnets from places he’s travelled in due to his line of work. He’s toned down quite a bit in the last few years and has taken to staying within Asia, but back then his traveling history was super expansive – Germany, Jamaica, Italy, Belize, Aruba, Italy, France, Monaco, Denmark, Norway, the UK, US, Estonia, Portugal, etc.

... has always been there for you? Angela never left my side.

... has given you the most personal gift? I can’t possibly pick, my friends are pretty good at giving me gifts...like Andi getting me a Petals For Armor CD and a Punk shirt that hasn’t been produced in a while, and Angela giving me a personalized Friends mug because she knows I like my coffee and she knows I like Friends.

... has an annoying laugh? I don’t think anyone I know has an annoying laugh.

... never forgets a birthday? That would be me.

... do you live with? My parents, my two siblings, and our two dogs.

...,do you have the most in common with? I’m not so sure about this one, actually. I share bits of my personality with a lot of people - like me and Jo liking BTS, me and Andi liking wrestling, Blanch and I having similar personalities, me and Laurice being super meticulous when it comes to our work, etc. - but I haven’t met anyone who’s virtually a duplicate of mine when it comes to my traits and interests.

...is the sportiest person you know? I’m also not sure. Most people I know are into watching a bunch of sports, but none of them actually play.

...was your last missed call? It was an unknown number that I kept ignoring because THEY WOULDN’T TEXT WHO THEY WERE. If you have enough load credits to call me multiple times, then surely you can text me and introduce yourself first, and maybe then I can pick up the phone.

...did you last open your door for? My sister knocked last Friday because someone wanted to talk to me via landline. It was weird since no one calls via the phone anymore, but I have a gut feeling it was that ^ same person who had been trying to call me through my phone but never texted me. Eventually I learned it was one of the bloggers I’m talking to for work who just wanted to ask a few questions about our ongoing engagement.

... has your heart? Kim Taehyung. Expect the same answer for this type of question moving forward.

... has your respect? I gotta hand it to Tina for consistently doing well in her studies and excelling in every subject while doing photo and video editing for two orgs, working on her thesis, and being a board member in our mutual org, all while living alone. She does so well I wish I can tell her to give herself the occasional break to avoid burnout.

...do you share a special song with? I don’t think I have that with anyone.

...do you miss right now? Literally allllllll my friends.

...last made you angry? It’s been a while since I’ve directed my anger towards another person. When I get pissed off these days it’s usually over a situation that goes awry or out of my control.

...did you last buy a gift for? So this was not technically meant to be a gift, but what happened was I accidentally secured two orders of the same poster set, which was a part of this new BTS photobook coming out later this month, from two different shops. One of the shops merely posted an ‘interest check’ for the poster set so I signed up for it thinking it was harmless, but when they got back to me they already attached an invoice :/ I ended up having to pay for it just so things won’t get complicated between myself and the shop anymore; and I told Angela she can just keep the extra set I bought and that she can consider it a gift.

...did you celebrate your last birthday with? My family and technically my workmates since I didn’t file a leave that day. I also had food delivered to their house so I guess that can count as my ‘celebration’ with them.

...have you gone to a concert with? I went with Angela for my first Paramore show.

...can make you laugh? Anyone can tbh. It’s not very hard to make me laugh.

...has taught you how to do something? Nina taught me how to embroider and do basic needle/thread skills back when I was still getting into the hobby.

...has lost something of yours? I am almost certain my ex never kept the handwritten letters I used to write her. She never seemed to remember or bring up the things I wrote.

...has broke your heart? Gabie but I’m over it.

...has stood you up? Hasn’t happened to me before.

:: What ::

Is your favourite colour? Pastel pink.

Can you do that most your friends can’t? Type fast, apparently.

Is your birthday? April 21.

Colour eyes do you have? Dark brown/black.

Form of transport do you take to work/school? I work from home. But under normal circumstances I would drive my car.

Music do you like to listen to in the car? I connect my Spotify to the car’s Bluetooth and listen to whatever artist or playlist I’m into at the moment. The music I put on could also depend on my current mood for the day.

Languages can you speak? Filipino and English. I’ve also been able to pick up looooots of Korean phrases and expressions because of the amount of content I watch. I’m nowhere near fluent, of course, but I’m increasingly able to pick up what people say based off a few Korean words I’ll hear in a sentence.

Was the last thing you drank? Continued from idk. I finished off my glass of water from dinner.

Was the last thing you ate? My mom made pasta.

Time did you wake up this morning? Depends on how late I slept the night before and how tired I was, but it usually ranges between 5:45–7:30 AM.

Colour are your bedroom walls? They’re white.

Drink do you usually order when eating out? I never order drinks unless I’m at La Creperie, in which case I always get their San Gines hot chocolate; for everywhere else that isn’t a bar, I just get water.

Food can you cook well? ...I can’t cook.

Animals have you had for a pet? Dogs, rabbit, lovebirds, goldfish, and technically a cat but she was mostly Nina’s.

Are your initials? RC.

Kind of activities do you like to do on the weekends? I’m still kind of stuck at home during the weekends :/ so I can’t do much, but I’m not complaining since I actually prefer staying in these days. Anyway, most recently I’ve taken to catching up on BTS content I’ve missed over the last 8 years, so I like watching shows they’ve done like Bon Voyage, Run BTS, etc.

Movie do you know line by line? Two for the Road, TITANIC, and probably most of White Chicks.

Band(s) have you seen in concert? Paramore, One Direction, a bunch of local bands.

Do you buy/get to treat yourself? It’s usually food - I like giving myself a feast every Friday night - but I’m putting that in the backseat for now as I’ve realigned my money to be spent on BTS merch. My big purchases are saved for the albums for now, but every now and then I’ll see a postcard or photocard I like and buy them. Once I complete the albums I’ll be moving on to the concert DVDs, then the special packages, then probably BT21 plushies. Needless to say I have a longggggg way to go haha.

Colours your phone cover? I have a clear case.

Part of the world would you love to visit? Another continent would be nice.

Question do you dislike being asked? Even though I know people mean well, I don’t like being asked “How are you?” but tbh it’s more of a me thing because I just never really know what to say.

Subject were you good at in school? History.

Careers do your parents have? They both work in the hospitality industry.

Brand of clothing do you buy most often? For clothes clothes I’m not really loyal to a particular brand; I buy from different brands and shops all the time. But for shoes, I like sticking to Nikes.

Chocolate bar is your favourite? Not a big fan of chocolate bars. I love Reese’s Cups, though.

TV show have you watched every series of? Friends, Perfect Strangers, Breaking Bad.

Radio station do you listen to the most? It’s a little hard to tell at this point considering I haven’t driven regularly in over a year. But back when I used to do it, I usually flipped among 93.1, 99.5, and 87.5.

Podcasts are you subscribed to? I’m not the biggest fan of podcasts. Find them a tad bit boring.

Is your favourite dessert? Macarons or cheesecake.

Can’t you do that most around you seem to? Ride a bike.

Are 5 qualities you value in a friend? Loyalty, thoughtfulness, honest, sensitive to my needs and those of others, and intelligent.

Are 5 qualities you value in a partner? ^ Pretty much the same thing.

Size pizza do you usually order? Family size usually.

Cuisine do you like to order or cook? I’ve been getting Japanese so many times recently. I rarely go outside sushi.

Colour(s) dominate your wardrobe? Black and white, and colors that were in at one point like mustard yellow and pastel pink.

Toothpaste brand do you use? Colgate.

Sounds can you hear right now? My insanely loud aircon.

Is the weather like today? Like hell. I believe we’re reaching a heat index of over 50ºC every day now, so...that’s fun. It gets absolutely difficult to work in the afternoon when the temperature is at its most brutal, and its times like this I wish I got to work in the office so that there’s aircon and I could at least work comfortably :/

Are your plans for tomorrow? Just work and have tons of meetings, the usual.

:: Where ::

Do you keep your phone when not using it? I keep my phone near me even when I’m not using it since I could always get an important notification.

Were you born? Manila.

Do you go to unwind? Most days it would be the rooftop, but under normal circumstances I like staying at a coffee shop somewhere to escape life and my responsibilities for a short while.

Is your best friend right now? I believe they’re both at home since they have no reason to be out anyway.

Can you go nearby to have a good time? Personally, I would just go to the Starbucks near our village lol. If I’m feeling a bit more adventurous I’d head to Katip, which is prrrretty close by but not quite.

Is the nearest restaurant? We have a McDonald’s literally right beside the village. Then besides that is a Shakey’s, and right across that is a Burger King, then the aforementioned neaby Starbucks. Just makes me realize how urbanized my town has gotten in the last few years.

Is the nearest beach? If I had to guess, the nearest beaches would be in Batangas which is 2-3 hours away, but it really depends on how fast you can drive lol. I’m not too good with long car rides so in both times I’ve driven there I had always taken 4 hours.

Did you meet your closest friend? I met Angela in grade school, and I met Andi at a local rally in my university.

Did you go for your last vacation? Tagaytay, though it was a staycation more than anything else.

Is the nearest mall or superstore? It’s like a 3-minute drive away from the village.

Did you last get an injury? I have loadsssssss of new scratches and gashes all around my wrists from playing with Cooper.

Is the most extravagant place you’ve stayed at? It’s a toss-up between Aids’ or Gian’s house. Gian would probably win since I never actually got to go inside Aids’ place, and his was the first house I’ve been to that was able to literally take my breath away. OH and Shaun’s house was pretty fucking swanky as well.

Do most the local kids play? I would have no idea since I’m neither a kid nor a parent.

Have you been with your family? This is a very vague question lol...what do you mean where have we been? We’ve been to different towns around the country and several countries together, if that’s what you’ve been asking.

Did you spend Christmas last year? We visited a couple of relatives, and we also spent it at home.

Did your parents grow up? My mom grew up within Metro Manila; my dad in a city a little outside of it.

Did you buy the shoes you’re wearing? I’m barefoot at the moment and always am at home.

Would you like to go right now if you could? If life had still been normal I would probably be having after-work drinks at a bar near the office.

Do you miss the most from your childhood? I’m not sure how to answer this with where.

Is the best restaurant you know? I’m still searching for it.

Will you never go again as it was so bad? It’s not that it was bad, but I’d probably never dine at 8Cuts again because their burgers are not worth the hype and are very overpriced for their size.

:: When ::

...was your last vacation? My family’s last legit vacation was in August 2019; but we did have a quick escape to Tagaytay in January of this year.

...did you graduate? I officially ‘graduated’ from college in August, if you could even call it that.

...did you decide what career you wanted? Somewhere between my 2nd and 3rd year of college. That was when I decided I hated journalism and preferred PR, but since PR is under journalism’s umbrella there was no need for me to shift courses.

...did you have your first kiss? Continued. Like WHEN when or how old was I when? In any case, it was in January 2015 and I ws 16.

...did you learn how to swim? Idk, pretty early on. My parents liked taking us to water parks when we were younger, so we had a lot of exposure. I’m not sure if there was ever a time where something just clicked and I learned how to swim; I believe it had just come naturally.

...did you have your first relationship? By the end of 2014.

...did you meet your best friend? I met both of them in school, but at different points.

...do you feel the most at peace? Probably when I’m able to stay at the rooftop all alone.

...do you usually fall asleep? I’ve readjusted my body clock now (I used to want to be in bed by 9 or 10 PM, lmao) and I stay up until anywhere between 12-2 AM on weekdays.

...do you usually wake up? Ranges between 6-7:30 AM.

...did you last watch a movie? September.

...did you last go to a party? Around Februaryish, 2020.

...did you last cry? I can’t really recall. The last moment I can remember was crying over Life Goes On sometime last month, when I heard it for the first time. I’m just not sure if that’s accurate or when exactly in April that happened.

...did you laugh really hard? I always have a good laugh at least once a day.

...did you buy something pricey last? Idk what you would count as pricey but I bought the new BTS photobook set when it dropped back in April. Cost me around ₱3750. I wasn’t able to buy from the first press (it sold out in like 7 minutes lol) which included an exclusive poster set, so I had to look for a local shop that was already offering the poster set separately, and ended up shelling out another ₱2200 for it...which means all in all I spent around ₱5950 for it or roughly $125.

...did you have an argument last? Earlier this evening but I don’t want to get into it as it made me cry from sadness and frustration for the first time in months.

...did you last have a sick day? May last year.

...did you last recieve a hug? I have no idea. February, I think? when I hung out with my friends.

...when is your best friend’s birthday? July 22 or September 15, depends on which best friend.

...did you learn how to drive? I started getting lessons when I was 17, but I didn’t start feeling comfortable with it until I turned 18.

...did you last receive a surprise? Around a couple of weeks ago when my dad came home with Jollibee for us.

:: How ::

Many pets do you have? Two.

Many houses have you lived in? Three that I can remember, but I know my parents moved around a bit when I was a newborn.

Often do you shower? Every morning before my shift. I hate feeling sweaty and icky when I report for work.

Well can you cook? I can’t at all.

Many close friends do you have? I have two people I count as my absolute best friends, but I have a handful of close friends as well.

Many Brothers or sisters do you have? One of each.

Often do you go swimming? I don’t swim much at all, really...I haven’t done it since 2019, so that should say enough. As relaxing as it is, I feel like the clean-up afterwards can be such a challenge lol. Like if you swim in a pool you have to rigorously wash the chlorine off of you; and if you swim in the sea you have to also be thorough about making sure you’ve removed all the sand from your body.

Many times have you texted today? I don’t think I texted today but I did spend my whole day on chat platforms.

Do you like your toast (colour, topping)? I don’t have super particular preferences; I just like mine on the burnt side.

Do you like your tea and/or coffee? My coffee has to be sweet for me to enjoy it. I can take black coffee/Americano; I’ll just wince a lot with every sip. No tea for me thanks.

Do you like to celebrate your birthdays? With a lot of food.

Are you feeling today? A little frustrated because of an argument incident this evening. But I’m shaking it off and just focusing on the release of Butter tomorrow. My first BTS comeback!!!

Serious are you about your career goals? Very.

Many rooms are in your house? In total, 9.

Many bedrooms in your house? 4.

Did you do in your school exams? I was never consistent. I slacked off a looooooot in grade school; couldn’t give less of a shit about my classes then. I got a bit more hardworking in high school, but I still was a bit lax and I allowed myself to not put a lot of effort in subjects I didn’t care a lot for and that I know I would never have to use in real life, like chemistry or accounting, so there were exams I really excelled in and others that I would fail. It was only in college I started taking my studies incredibly seriously and I believe that showed in the grades I eventually got.

Close do you live to your parents? They’re like, five steps away.

Close do you live to your siblings? My sister’s literally in the room next to mine.

Sensitive to criticism are you? I know it’s something that can never be avoided, so I’m always open to hearing them, especially if it’s meant to help me. It doesn’t mean I enjoy it as it is being given.

Motivated to make changes are you? Depends on my mood and mindset.

Creative are you (1-10): -0.5.

Hard working are you (1-10): Probably a 22 if I really put my head into a task.

Sporty are you (1-10): I dunno, maybe a 6? I do like playing table tennis, but I’m pretty meh at any other sport.

Musical are you (1-10): 0.

Do you prefer your eggs? Runny yolk; scrambled; or a really packed omelette.

Often do you go out to eat? Before the pandemic, I liked eating out 2-3 times a week.

Would your best friend describe you? Not sure, I never tried asking them this. I hope it’s all nice things, though.

Can someone cheer you up if you’re sad? Send me photos of V. Hahahaha

Often do you meet up with your friends? ...What do you think? D:

Important is religion to you? It is not a part of my life whatsoever.

Old were you when you first stayed overnight from home? 15 or 16, I can’t really remember.

Old were you when you got your first pet? I was maybe 6.

Tech savvy are you? I know enough to survive my own, but I obviously can’t hack into other computers or things like that.

Do you show you appreciate those you care for? Buying them food.

Often do you cut your hair? I only take a trip to the salon once a year.

Often do you paint your nails? Never.

Many countries have you visited? Six.

Boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? Just one.

:: Why ::

... did you choose your username? Because it was straightforward.

... did you take this survey? I like surveys made in categories, and this seemed interesting and varied enough.

... did you choose the career you did? I found that I enjoyed it MILES more than journalism.

...did you last leave the house? I had to go to a local LBC for a work errand.

...did you last give up on something? She wasn’t worth the effort anymore. She hadn’t been for a while, but it took me forever to realize.

...did you search the last thing you searched? I wanted to sing along to the song but it was in Japanese, so I had to look up its lyrics.

...would you give up on someone completely? Oof, I guess you can refer to one of the previous questions. ^

:: If...::

You could live in any country which would you choose? Canada.

You could choose any animal as a pet which one? I’m perfectly content with dogs.

You could be famous for something what would you like? Being known for a funny tweet would probably be enough lol. I have no desire to be famous.

You are sad, how do you combat it? I don’t really get sad anymore these days, so I can’t super remember the go-to tactics I depend on...I guess I like listening to sad songs and allowing myself to wallow in the sadness, because I know I have to accept and process my feelings first before I can be able to calm down.

You can drive when did you learn? I learned shortly before I started college, when I was 18, because no one was going to be able to take me to university when the school year started.

You could have any job what would it be? Idk, I like the one I have now.

You could go anywhere for a vacation where would you go? Somewhere with a completely different feel and atmosphere, like Norway, Sweden, Finland...that part of Europe, basically.

You could eat anything right now what would it be? Samgak gimbap :/

You wrote a book what genre/topic would it be? It would be a book of essays or maybe a memoir.

You had a theme song what would it be? Idk I don’t really think about this.

You could meet any band/singer in person which one? Billie Eilish seems awesome and easy and fun to talk to.

You could act in any movie which would it be? No thanks.

You get married what venue would you like? Hotel.

If you have kids do you have names picked out? I have one name picked out for a girl but that’s it.

Could describe your dream home what would it be like? Brutalist and minimalist, with large windows, cove lights, and a lot of white space.

You could go back in time what would you change? Break up with Gab earlier.

Could use 3 words to describe your childhood which ones? Could’ve been better.

Could get the answer to any question which question would you choose? When I would die and how, just so I can have peace of mind.

You could have an endless supply of something what would it be? Money, because of course.

Meet anyone who no longer lives who’d you choose? My great-grandfather, mom’s side.

:: Can ::

... you ride a bike? No, never learned.

... you ski? I’ve never even seen snow, so no.

... you bake a cake? I can try but it will probably be very clumsily made as I don’t bake.

... you sing well? I wouldn’t say that. I like singing when I’m alone, but it doesn’t mean I’m any good.

... you do your own taxes? I’ve never tried haha so I guess not.

... you remain calm in a crisis? Depends on how serious it is.

... you do first aid? Let’s just say I wouldn’t volunteer if it comes down to it because I feel like I’d commit one fatal mistake that would make the situation graver.

... remember your best friend’s family members’ names? Both of their families, yes.

... you fire a gun? I’ve never tried so I doubt it.

... your parents drive? Yep.

...your best friend dance well? They’re not ‘dancers’ per se but sure, they can bust out a move or two.

...you make people laugh easily? Not everyone, but sure.

...stand up for yourself? That’s what I’m trying to learn these days.

...you do a martial art? No.

:: Would ::

You like to learn a new language? That’s always a welcome opportunity.

Save the life of a stray animal? Absolutely.

Know what to do if there was a hurricane? We have several ones come in the country every year so yeah, I can definitely say we’ve long been well-prepared for them.

Try a new cuisine? I do this as often as I can.

Risk your life for anyone? Yes.

You like to get back in touch with someone? No, I’m good now.

You drive in the middle of the night to get a stuck friend? Ina heartbeat.

You Know how to perform CPR? In relation to the first aid question, I wouldn’t volunteer myself in case I make a wrong move.

You likely win in a game of chess? I don’t even know how it works, so no.

You stop talking for a day for $100? Easily.

#survey #surveys

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