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sungoingdown · 3 years

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THE FOOL : A LOOK AT HIS EMOTIONS .

When writing the song, Paul McCartney said that he happened upon the idea via seeing an old man on a walk up a tall hill with his dog, Martha. This old man was quite nice, but kept pestering Paul with life advice that he didn’t quite want nor accept at the time. He kept trying to push the man away and when he finally did, he felt some guilt. He wanted to look back to him to apologize for his anger, and tell him goodbye. But by that point, the wise old man had somehow vanished from the hill entirely.

It’s both this story and the music videos from Paul’s trip to France that I take his personality from. Those and the song of course! And what beautiful stories they are.

Let’s take a deeper look on what it means to be the fool and who he is.

Paul expressed that he wanted the music video to be based off the Tarot card of “The Fool.” I know my way around the tarot, and most of the time, the card means two things, depending on which way it fell out of the deck: manifestations, and carelessness.

When right-side up, the card indicates that you have the power to do whatever you want. You should be foolish because you have what it takes to get what you want. Usually people will see this card when they’re going through tough times and need a better outcome. They’re typically "lost,” too, and are just unaware of what to do. Upon seeing The Fool upright, it means that they have the power to get out of this situation they’re in by working towards whatever they wish to achieve.

This demonstrates the fool rather well, as seeing him means that your life is in a terrible rut. I’ve compared fool’s character more to the tower card, as seeing him is a double-edged sword like the tower is. But make no mistake, his personality surely fits the meanings of the fool as a card. Albeit his presence means that you have the power to be in a positive atmosphere. You just have to work for it, as the card indicates as well. He’s just there to help you get back to your feet, and in doing so, showing you what it means to have life behind your back. Living life to its fullest is getting up and doing what you can to succeed. Self-care is just a step of the way to that, which is what the fool wants to do to help you on your feet.

When flipped however, The Fool means that you’ve been acting careless. This is another perfect example of the fool’s character. He does want to help you, and he does care about you and getting you back to your feet, but he doesn’t quite care what you’re going through at the point in time. It doesn’t matter if it was only yesterday that you lost your whole family. He’ll still show up and be as happy, quirky, and obnoxious as ever! How careless. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the middle of the most important test of your life. He will enter the room and shout your name until you look at him, as he prods you outside to the halls.

People typically see The Fool flipped when they’re swallowing themselves in material things, addictions, or throwing morale out left and right. You’ll usually never see this card alone, as when flipped it’s typically connected to another card. As you can be careless, but you have to do something carelessly.

It’s this careless attitude that pushes people away from him.

“ And nobody seems to like him / They can tell what he wants to do / And he never shows his feelings “

The Fool enjoys bringing manifestations into people’s lives in an extremely careless way. In doing so, he comes in at people’s worst times, usually during mental breakdowns, stressful situations, important life decisions or moments, just to remind them that they are important, they have power, and that they can make their lives happy. In return, people typically get irritated as “life” makes them upset. “Life is shit,” they’ll say, as they presume that he’s shoving happy advice down their throats. They aren’t wrong, but they push him away and make him feel ridiculous for it.

Realistically, anyone could enjoy his presence. In general, people know that those who take life as is and refuse to stress have happier, longer lives. But it is the sheer fact that he’s such a “fool,” that makes him so different. The fact that he shows up as an inconvenience is what makes it so much more annoying, irritating, and difficult. But that’s his whole motif. The fool is the foolish one, for he’s digging the garden in your head and giving you the water for the flowers that grow years later.

His whole symbol is to remain as a memory in your mind. A shadow that disappears when you look back.

“ He never listens to them / He knows that they're the fool ”

Those freshly tilled never really see the seeds he plants. And as such, the fool understands that shoving a hoe into someone’s morale would cause issues. So, despite all the rage and annoyance, he never takes what they say as truth. They’re just tired, they’re just exhausted, and begging for a change. After all, he’s seen people change from evil bastards to nurturing mothers. Love is what they need, and their attitudes are foolish because they think they know, they really do, when they truly have no idea.

But still, it hurts.

As stated before in a lyric, the fool never shows his feelings. Humans and mortals are known for coming with knives, sharp tongues, and deep claws. Their eyes are their logic after all, and as such, they react with malice whenever their worlds or environments are changed, bothered, or met with onslaught. Though it’s started to lose the harsh touch, the scar stings every time it’s lashed.

The name especially.

He doesn’t like being called it in the slightest. It’s almost retaliation, in my eyes. He isn’t the fool, they’re the fool for refusing to listen! For refusing to understand!

And it makes him so irritated. Some people just don’t understand change. They don’t understand the light he’s trying to share. Capricious almost, the fool’s emotions can shift depending on how stubborn his current mortal at hand may be. Energies are known to change on a dime, especially when the world around them changes. They are easily influenced by the emotions of man and supernatural -- and thusly, the fool reacts as such.

But, he’ll never show that. If one is empathetically inclined, or perhaps can read energies, they would be able to tell his emotions and shifting emotions extremely easily, but most don’t and as such, most will never know what he’s really thinking. After all, he was made by the universe to help people. And when assistance is needed, you toss everything to the wind, including yourself. The Fool hasn’t shared what he’s felt for hundreds upon hundreds of years; he’s never had anyone to do that with. But he doesn’t believe he needs to. And if given the chance, he’d be frozen and horrified.

The other is who is important. His emotions mean nothing to him. He can easily cast them aside, as he’s done so time and time again. And usually within a few decades when the mortal finally learns their lesson and the memories of him are brought back again, he gets his benevolent karma and feels a warm energy engulf him. That fulfills those emotions -- makes them all worth it. Yet they’re still there, and still festering. This is perhaps the one thing he prefers of the supernatural: they never saw him as a foolish energy. They saw him as necessary.

“ But the fool on the hill / Sees the sun going down / And the eyes in his head / See the world spinning round ”

Though I use the chorus as a means to describe his primordial immortality, it’s also a huge part of his character as well. Despite how pained he feels, and how the sting still burns, he always uses his own grounding techniques as a go to. It doesn’t do much and partly, The Fool’s in denial about his need for release. After all, his release comes from watching the sun, from reading people’s successes and listening to their celebrations. The passion of others is a huge joy to him, and it helps him relieve all that stress. But it’s all just temporary.

Skipping around the hills, resting under trees, dancing on rocks, watching the trees rustle -- it’s all good fun and it makes him feel great! But it never takes things away completely. And it never will, as he can never die.

Interestingly though, there is still one thing: seeing people makes him excited.

“ Day after day, alone on a hill / The man with the foolish grin “

Another reason I see him as a primordial being: he is horrendously lonely. So, seeing someone brings him great joy. It’s time to make another friend! To socialize and make someone happy, excited, and better! And if they don’t need him, it’s just a great time to relax and spice life up a bit!

Keep in mind how the fool, when alone, is hardly ever seen with excitement:

Before he notices you:

After he notices you:

Notice the smallest difference in the eyes and the smile? Yeah. He’s excited to see you.

But then notice how, when alone, he never has the brightest look on his face:

Frowning here, despite watching the sunrise. Lost in the bliss of life, but still a desolate look on his face? Definitely sounds like denial to me.

Watching the sun but still no smile? Hmm.

Seems that the fool enjoys the presence of others, no matter how much they irritate him if they don’t listen to him. Why?

Because he wasn’t meant for mortality; the physical body wasn’t supposed to intermingle with energy, but he still feels like he belongs here. So, the fool will continue to live in denial of himself. He believes that what he teaches others can genuinely help him.

But he really needs is a friend. But that too, is quite hard to find, as mortals must always die.

#🏔️ 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 . ( metas )#🏔️ 𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 ; 𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘭𝘴 . ( musings )#( BEST META YET FOOLS HAHA )

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zdbztumble · 4 years

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GUNDAM WING: ENDLESS WALTZ review

Well, you knew this was coming. If Gundam Wing and Dragon Ball Z competed for the top show of Toonami back in the day, Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz was the unquestioned top movie. I don’t know how many times they played it, but I never missed an airing. Watching it on Crunchyroll, without TOM and SARA taking the Absolution into Hyperspace and the Toonami interstitials, it’s impossible to get the full dose of nostalgia, but it does let me revisit this movie and see how it holds up compared to its parent series.

What’s immediately apparent in viewing Endless Waltz is the quantum leap in animation quality. Gundam Wing had gorgeous background paintings and wonderful character and mecha designs, but the animation quality fluctuated from “meh” to “pretty good,” and saw frequent use of stock sequences. Not even the best of Wing (which was, frankly, the OPs) can hold a candle to Endless Waltz. From the detail in lighting and highlights to the fluidity of the Gundams’ movement and the choreography of their battles, everything is leagues above the series, and anything you could’ve expected from a comparable animation project done for TV or home video in the US at that time. All of the Gundams were redesigned for this movie, and while I prefer the original designs for all but the Altron and Wing Zero, they’re all impressive in their own right. (Sandrock gains the ultimate in fashion accessories - a cloak, the practicalities of putting such on a giant robot be damned.)

Such visual spectacle is a huge boon a to an OVA that, frankly, carries a thin plot loaded with contrivances and plot holes. Treize’s bastard daughter Marimea is pulled from thin air to serve as a figurehead antagonist, Trowa’s attempt to go undercover is compromised and then immediately made effective again as everyone forgets he was exposed, Zech’s return from the grave is never explained (and he doesn’t do anywhere near enough in the story to merit coming back), Wing Zero is suddenly extremely fragile and notably lacking its buster canon (until it needs it, in which case it will magically appear), and the revelation that Operation Meteor was originally meant to be a genocidal conquest of Earth instead of a covert attack on OZ - something alluded to towards the end of Gundam Wing but never overtly stated - and that this conquest was for the sake of the never-before-mentioned Barton Foundation, that just happens to have a standing army and a fresh supply of new mobile suit types after a year of disarmament, is a convoluted retcon worthy of Tetsuya Nomura.

And yet, if spectacle alone isn’t enough to carry a film for you, then there is story material to recommend in Endless Waltz, two pieces of long-overdue development for the ostensible series leads: Heero Yuy’s backstory and a brief but pivotal action taken by Relena Peacecraft.

Heero’s backstory is one of a set: each of the Gundam pilots gets a flashback. For the other four pilots, these flashbacks feed into the recton of Operation Meteor’s intentions, showing how the pilots and their scientist mentors disregarded the plan and made it their own (Trowa’s flashback also reveals that he isn’t the real Trowa Barton; that name is an alias stolen from a member of the villainous Barton family, another Nomurian retcon I could’ve done without.) But Heero’s flashback is set well before the construction of the Gundams, during an early mission in the colonies. Here, more than any time in the series, Heero shows the kindness and purity that various characters sense in him, as he takes genuine joy in life and interacts with a little girl and her dog. His compassion also manifests as remorse when his mission inadvertently causes civilian casualties, including the girl and dog he befriended earlier, and it’s made clear in this flashback that this side of Heero was forcibly repressed by his training for the fight against OZ. It’s a wonderfully written, acted, and drawn scene, and if you watch the series again after seeing Endless Waltz, I think you’ll find it does a lot to clarify Heero’s character. It doesn’t paper over all of his shortcomings, of course; he’ll still start the series as a reckless, conspicuous, suicidal stoic with terrible luck at all his destructive endeavors despite his professed skill, and his relationship with Relena is still an undercooked stew of disparate ingredients - but with the backstory of Endless Waltz now lending support to his development later in the series, he is an improved protagonist.

(I’ll also throw a bone Chang Wu Fei’s way at this point, because Endless Waltz is where he’s probably at his best as a character. He spends most of the film as an antagonist, allied with Marimea’s forces in order to continue living as a warrior in a world where Relena’s ideas of pacifism are taking hold. He and Heero have the featured one-on-one duel - a novel choice, considering that the two of them barely interact in the series and that a rematch between Heero and Zechs would’ve been the safer, and presumably more anticipated, course. The fight ends up reinforcing Heero’s kind nature as he appeals to Wu Fei in a far more heartfelt way than he ever talked to the other pilots during the series; comparable moments saw Heero offering pragmatic advice or blunt put-downs. That the appeal works on Wu Fei, who avows a desire to fight Heero one-on-one, is surprising but not unbelievable.)

As for Relena - for much of the film, she is once again on the sidelines, kidnapped by Marimea and intended as a puppet to legitimize the Barton regime (essentially a retread of Romefeller’s scheme from the series.) But at the climax of the film, where the Gundam pilots are fighting a losing battle against Marimea’s coup, Relena actually does something. It’s a very brief something, the opportunity missed in the series when she reigned as queen of the Earth. She intercepts the coup’s broadcast to appeal to the general populace of Earth and the colonies, urging them to resist the coup and defend the peace they’ve enjoyed for the past year. And the people do so, through nonviolent protest and unarmed demonstration (though the one such protest we see is guarded by Altron, in an act of contrition by Wu Fei.) This is an interesting wrinkle to Gundam Wing’s many reflections on war, peace, and the nature of humanity. Those have always been an admirable plunge into the deep end even if the execution is often shaky, but the series very rarely touched on the role of the masses in all this, and never involved them at the point of action - it was (understandably) more concerned with the five idealistic young people flying giant robots (six, if you count Relena.) To bring the general populace into the story directly, and to complicate the ideal of total pacifism by showing how fragile it is and what it takes to maintain it, was a nice addition on the part of the OVA.

If you watch Endless Waltz on Crunchyroll, you’ll find this particular plot point reinforced by a scene those of us who grew up with this film on Toonami never saw. It’s one of several scenes added to a theatrical version of Endless Waltz released in Japan in 1998 (we in the States got a dub of the OVA version.) The additions are by and large improvements on the original cut, expanding on some elements and adding others. Unfortunately, the placement of some of these new scenes, and the rearranging of others, sometimes hurts the pacing of the film by undercutting the moment of action. The theatrical cut also has a radically altered musical score, which is absolutely not an improvement. The most egregious change is the replacement of “White Reflection,” the best song Two-Mix wrote for Gundam Wing, with “Last Impression,” their worst effort for the series. This is a real shame at the end of the film, because the theatrical cut features new final scenes for every character, and they’re all more visually interesting and expressive than the OVA ending (except for Heero and Relena’s; that one, I prefer in the original.) If there’s a way to have the extended cut with the original score, I’d like to get it.

Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz is short on plot and big on spectacle, with quite a bit of heart to boot. It is very much an epilogue to the series; something that isn’t necessary to provide a proper ending, but offers one last look into the world you’ve been following, and ideally adds one or two interesting wrinkles to the story. That’s what Endless Waltz does, and I loved watching it again.

Now - to find a copy of the OVA version and its “White Reflection”-having score...

#critique #commentary #gundam wing #Endless Waltz #z's crits #film school training at work

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sofiessketches · 4 years

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NASASocial experience at JPL

This is a LONG one, so I’m gonna put it under a readmore!

This was my first ever NASA Social, so I didn’t really know what to expect when I applied, what the chances were or what other sorts of people would be there. I was surprised I even got in, because compared to some of the other people I have very few followers, but I think there’s more to it than that! As Stephanie, the head of social media at JPL, said, “You were chosen for your insatiable curiosity, and for the stories you tell”. I really appreciate that the selection process was more about being a creator of SOMETHING that you truly care about.

I’ve been to JPL several times for tours and lectures, but it’s always exciting to come up to the front..there was a really long line, I’m assuming because of the event and also traditional media that was there to interview people.

Got my badge and headed in, and said good morning to the Curiosity model! (which I wish was as detailed as the real thing..I still love her tho. I’ve just been spoiled having gone on tours and doing a lot of research on Curiosity that I was able to spot what’s missing..)

Admiring how the light hits her..er..Chemcam

I never get tired of looking at this piece, but this was the first time I actually checked out the plaque next to it, which had a helpful diagram!

An installation displaying the information from the GRACE (Gravity Recovery and Climate Experiment) and GRACE Follow-on missions, which in the words of my friend Sirina, shows us how screwed we are, in a beautiful way! I also realized the reason the screens are this shape is because the spacecraft are shaped like that...!

JPL’s inspiring slogan in a beautiful geometric typeface B)

We got to the meeting/conference room, with portraits of all JPL’s past and present directors around. The last seat at the front table appeared to be taken by the Mars 2020 wheel, so I asked if I could sit there with the wheel, and my day was made! I have to admit this may have been the highlight of my day. One of the first JPL-specific drawings I did was a study of an image Curiosity had taken of her own wheels on Mars, and after that I read a lot about how the wheels worked and how the design was less than ideal..it makes me happy to see the next iteration and how it’ll work out!

No pointy grousers for the sharp Mars rocks to snag on here!!! Just this...veeeeery shallow S-curve.

Everyone hanging out and social media-ing before the event began, waiting for more people to get there. I happened to sit next to a couple people I had pre-stalked on Twitter from the list they made of participants!

LOSING MY MIND EVEN MORE THAT WE COULD TOUCH AND PICK UP THE WHEEL???!?!!? It was pretty light, since it was a 3D model and not made of actual aluminum.

Lookin cute together. This is Kevin Baird, an awesome photographer! The only patches we had in common were the NASA meatball (not even the same one, though) and the SOFIA patch, which was strangely almost in the same spot on both of our jackets.. (on the back left side)

Then Stephanie, JPL’s social media head, came and proposed to us with space grade aerogel, and of course we all said yes.

After an introduction, Linda, another social media expert at JPL, brought over a top secret looking box, which she explained will have some cool graphics relating to Mars 2020 on the front and inside soon (excited to see that!!)

Inside were material samples of several components of Mars 2020, including the many layered thermal blanket, the ropes that will lower the rover onto the surface of Mars (which can hold the weight of 1 car EACH, and the rover will be suspended by 80 of them) as well as the parachute material (orange), which was remade for better strength and lightness.

We also got to hold a replica of the sample cache tubes that Mars 2020 will be filling!

At 10:00, the event we were there for, the State of NASA, came on (a budget rollout explaining briefly how much money the government will be giving to NASA in 2021 and what it’s for) so we watched Jim Bridenstein in front of some incredible engines...

And I just..get excited when I see the rover on the screen ok..

There was a super cool internal view of how the Mars 2020 will be depositing sample caches! The video is below:

youtube

Anyway, the budget rollout declared 22 billion to NASA and 3.3 billion of that to the development of the human landing system, which will go toward landing humans and science on the moon for the Artemis program. You can read more here about this.

After that, Director Watkins and Dr Zurbuchen came to answer questions, and we learned a bit about Mars Sample Return, and the mission that will come before that but after Mars 2020, which will map icy areas in Mars’ poles. (Really looking forward to learning more about that!!) I gave Dr Zurbuchen some stickers I made and he gave me his card......!

Soon after, we headed to the Science building, to learn about MOXIE (Mars Oxygen In-Situ Resource Utilization Experiment) (I’ve noticed, the bigger the budget on these missions, the more effort they put into making the acronyms for everything sound cool) This technology demonstration is on Mars 2020 to prepare for larger scale carbon dioxide to oxygen conversion from Mars’ atmosphere for human use. This size of MOXIE creates only about enough oxygen to keep a small dog alive. Still impressive!!!

Wandered around the MOXIE lab a little and took a peek at the rest of what was on the walls and tables..

After that, we went to the Spacecraft Assembly Facility, where Mars 2020 was not, but that’s a good thing! I’m actually not sure which part is in the box there.. but soon after we left, it left too!

Teeny tiny Mars 2020 model hidden at the end of the viewing area...

Best.

At the indoor mars yard, a couple InSight engineers talked to us about how they use this area to test software before they send it to Mars. Here from left to right are the engineering models for Mars2020, InSight, and Curiosity.

Her name is Maggie!

One of my goals in life is to be able to stand in front of the arm and draw it until I understand what the hell is going on.

Also going to insert some pics I took last week because I was lucky enough to get a tour from my friend Sirina, where there were engineers inside working on the arm:

Next, we headed to the Mars Sample Return testbed!

It makes me excited to be in the rooms with dirt regolith inside.. also SmalBoSSE is the best acronym I’ve seen all day...

The “volleyball” that Mars 2020′s sample caches will eventually be stored in, to be fetched by another rover, launched into orbit around Mars and picked up to be sent back to Earth!

More freaking out about rover wheels. This is a prototype of one that will be on the rover to pick up the samples; the wire is slightly deformable which is great for offroad Mars action.

The rover will be a joint effort between NASA and ESA.

I love seeing these posters with hints of other projects going on. So cool!!

Last stop (cry) was Mission Control, aka The Center of the Universe, where all the data the Deep Space Network gets from spacecraft comes in.

The view from inside from my previous tour!

*eyes emoji when I see Mars 2020*

The darkroom and Curiosity’s Ace’s desk, where they send commands to Curiosity at 10:30AM Mars time.

Spitzer’s end of mission from Monday (top) vs the day after it was decommissioned (bottom).

Center of the Universe!!!

Ouagh don’t step on it! Well you can..

It was sad to say goodbye to our excellent guides, but we’ll be keeping in touch!! ;)

I also got a bunch of awesome pictures taken of me, which I was surprised by, because usually I’m the last one people take pics of..!

My jacket, which they posted on JPL’s instagram... gosh!!!!!!

And some stickers/new business card design (did I post this here yet??) I gave to everyone I met!

Displayed at Shannon Forrey’s desk!

This was a truly amazing experience, my first time attending one of these events, I learned so much and had such a great time surrounded by inspiring and talented people. Thank you again to everyone at JPL who made it possible and to all the scientists and engineers who took the time to share their work with us! I’ll never forget this day.

Also, I want to make some art based off what I learned, so keep an eye out for that in the upcoming weeks!

#nasasocial #nasa #nasajpl #jpl #mars 2020 #mars sample return #mars insight #mars curiosity #curiosity rover #stem #science #space #deep space network #mission control #state of nasa

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theonyxpath · 4 years

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This week we’re releasing the core rulebook for Dystopia Rising: Evolution into both stores (the traditionally printed version) and on DriveThruRPG with the PDF and physical book PoD versions.

When Mighty Matt McElroy brought up the idea of talking to the DR folks, the only thing I knew about Dystopia Rising was that a fair number of people I knew with good gaming taste enjoyed getting dressed up in Mad Max style gear and heading out to its live action events. I did see a ton of DR players at several Mid Winter Conventions leading up to sitting down with Michael and Ashley, so I had an inkling of the setting, at least.

Talking with them, and subsequently taking a deep dive into the already existing material made me impressed by what they had accomplished, and pretty sure that we could create an evocative TTRPG version. My big concern with any new game is whether we’ll be retreading ground we’re already covering, and while we had touched on post-apocalyptic milieus, we had not yet gone all in.

The chance to work with a post-apocalyptic setting, and then to adapt the Storypath System, which was just in its infancy when we decided to use it, combined for a very exciting project on both the setting and system levels. The final result, which you’ll be able to get on Wednesday, delivers both those things, and combines them, in ways we had only hoped to achieve when we first decided to make the game.

Eddy, as developer, was able to take the base Storypath System and, as we had hoped with the System, tweak it and add in elements like scavenging/building rules to better portray the setting.

Scion Companion art by Andrea Payne

So, the question has come up as to whether this post-apocalyptic opus is appropriate to offer right now. Certainly, a lot of folks are feeling like they are living in a plague movie right now, and I’d certainly understand not wanting to be reminded of that.

One of my thoughts about DR:E since first reading Eddy’s text, is how the setting demonstrates the adaptability of humanity in the face of seismic changes to civilization and society. DR:E isn’t set during the fall of society, but after humanity (in a wider definition of that term) has begun rebuilding. Which in its own way is a positive message that we can use in challenging times, like now.

Plus, there a a lot of different zombies to fight!

Along the same lines, as the rebuilding of communities is very important in the game, so are the live-action communities that have been built have been the key to DR’s success all these years. We like art imitating life imitating art, so in the interest of the tabletopDR:E‘s community we’ll be opening its Community Content site next month.

Now, as a bit of an aside, we’re not sure how many stores are actually going to be able to order this, get it, and then sell it. If they have an online store component, and you’ve been buying from them that way, please let them know that their store can get copies from Studio2 and IPR. And if you don’t have a store option right now, you too can direct order.

They Came From Beneath the Sea! art by Brian LeBlanc

How Are We Doing?

A question we share with old friends, co-workers, family far more now, and with good cause. We asked our developers, in two “town hall” group meetings last week, this very thing.

Mostly, our creators are doing okay, with varying degrees of focus from day to day (hour to hour?) on their projects. So far, two of our creators have been diagnosed with Covid 19, and so far they are doing okay. We also fielded some concerned questions as to the state of Onyx Path these days.

So far, so good. Like I’ve mentioned these last few weeks, our variety of sales channels have helped us, and we’re still rolling along with our projects even while being responsive to the challenges in the lives of our creators.

And in this taxing time, it is also tax time.

In terms of the work that we’re not just still doing but are really excited about, here’s an interview with Dixie, Neall Raemonn Price, and Monica Speca talking about Exalted Essence, a pretty innovative and important project that they continue to pull together. Lots of new details from the book in this interview: http://thestorytold.libsyn.com/exalted-essence-dev-team-interview

Let The Streets Run Red art by Michael Gaydos

Finally, as a personal example of finding ways to find the fun while being shut-in, this Easter I created an Easter Bunny scenario for the Gloomhaven boardgame for my kids, and their characters chased him through maps of the city streets, dodging the Easter Eggs he was blocking their way with. Each egg they picked up corresponded to a plastic egg with prizes inside I was hiding under the game table!

It was fun, plus I got an even better appreciation for how the designers set up and balanced Gloomhaven. Which I’ll consider as we review our own games, but it’s worth noting that info came through a diversion. Sometimes that’s what we need; we need to come at things indirectly. Even moreso when under stress.

Here’s hoping we’re providing you folks with a similar break, and a similar chance to explore new ideas…not to mention our:

Many Worlds, One Path!

Blurbs!

Kickstarter!

We’ve cancelled the Legendlore Kickstarter for the time being. While we wait for that happy day, here’s a fantastic Legendlore interview with developer Steffie de Vaan, hosted over at High Level Games! https://www.highlevelgames.ca/blog/legendlore-rpg-from-onyx-path-publishing-an-interview-with-steffie-de-vaan

We’ll get Legendlore back on KS as soon as we can, and meanwhile we are building the M20 Technocracy Reloaded Kickstarter!

Onyx Path Media!

This Friday is the Onyx Pathcast‘s 100th full episode! Huge congrats to Dixie Cochran, Eddy Webb, and Matthew Dawkins! Here’s to another 100!

This week, the Terrific Trio present a brand-new episode of Scion Actual Play! So if you’ve ever wondered how Scion plays – this is your chance to hear it in all its glory!

As always, this Friday’s Onyx Pathcast will be on Podbean or your favorite podcast venue! https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/

As we mentioned last week, Virtual Horror Con took place raising lots of money for charity! If you haven’t already, do check out their website https://www.gehennagaming.com/, and if you missed some of their actual plays of our games, please check them out here:

CofD Mortals: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdPfkI0FLFk

Trinity Continuum: Æon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7masQukyjQ

Mage: The Awakening 2nd Edition: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13UtpbAFAfk

And here’s Gehenna Gaming’s Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/gehennagaming

If you’re self-isolating or locked down, you can always tune in to our games this week. A few of our usual hosts are having breaks due to the situation in the world right now, but we’ve got plenty coming over the next few days, including V5, Scion, Pugmire, Changeling: The Lost, Changeling: The Dreaming, Mage: The Awakening, Scarred Lands, and a Dark ErasWerewolf: The Forsaken chronicle!

There are also several shows not yet on the schedule that are revving up to fill in for those who need a break right now, so please check out our Twitch channel during the week and keep an eye on Onyx Path social media for announcements of new programming!

This week you should really check out the new Scion game we’ve got going on our channel. You can subscribe to our channel over on twitch.tv/theonyxpath to catch up with any episodes you missed!

Come take a look at our YouTube channel, youtube.com/user/theonyxpath, where you can find a whole load of videos of actual plays, dissections of our games, and more, including:

Trinity Continuum – Aberrant: Community Service: https://youtu.be/51-Y_Diaefg

Changeling: The Lost – Littlebrook Reunion: https://youtu.be/uysogPwNFOM

Vampire: The Masquerade: Blood City – Chicago by Night: https://youtu.be/MKoMRxi9x0w

And still more Trinity Continuum – Aberrant: Community Service: https://youtu.be/5SXY7Q-Z80M

Do subscribe to our channel and click the bell icon if you want to be notified whenever new news videos and uploads come online!

Have you checked out the Botch Pit‘s gaming transcripts? Have a look on their clean, beautiful website, and check this one out for a Chronicles of Darkness game: http://thebotchpit.com/new-england-by-night-season-1-session-01-im-not-making-anyone-a-supernatural-yet-transcript/

https://ift.tt/3b89G4W

More new Occultists Anonymous for all you Mage: The Awakening fans:

Episode 96: Other Mages With the dark gift of a vampire’s patronage looming over their heads, the cabal seek out the names and identities of mages they think are appropriate sacrifices to the vampires’ bloodlust.https://youtu.be/3m0-va-JvdM

Episode 97: Short Straight The cabal gathers together their collected grimoires in one place, checking for further magical resonance and consult the ghost of a dead mage for further information.https://youtu.be/fjG2wPalY-s

Here’s the Story Told Podcast with an excellent interview with Dixie Cochran, Neall Raemonn Price, and Monica Speca on the subject of Exalted Essence: http://thestorytold.libsyn.com/exalted-essence-dev-team-interview

Garblag Games have commenced a new series of Mage: The Ascension, which has got off to a rocking start right here: https://youtu.be/yN47_NjYxtA

And if you loved V5 Chicago by Night, tune in to Junie von Esch’s channel to watch her group play through some Vampire: https://www.twitch.tv/junie_von_esch

Roll the Role continue with their Scarred Lands Gauntlet of Spiragos actual play! Roll the Role is a fantastic show, so please do give them a look: https://www.twitch.tv/rolltherole

And the bizarrely named Scabby Rooster continue their actual play of Scion, right here on their Twitch channel: https://www.twitch.tv/scabbyrooster

One of Matthew’s personal favourites, Devil’s Luck Gaming, continues their Werewolf: The Forsaken chronicle over here: https://www.twitch.tv/DevilsLuckGaming Please do give them a follow!

Please check these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games! We’d love to feature you!

Electronic Gaming!

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is awesome! (Seriously, you need to roll 100 dice for Exalted? This app has you covered.)

Update: the devs are working on the updates for the roller in both Android and iOS; here is the rundown from them:

1) Redo the UI for system for Android. It will look the same as the current design. My goal is to have something ready by Saturday to send out to the Facebook users, asking them if this fixes the issues. This will be a beta type thing. This will break several of the fancy dice.

2) If the above worked out and the android users give all the clear, we’ll redo the graphics system to fix the fancy dice that got broken. We’ll do another Android beta through Facebook. This might take up to two weeks, as my schedule allows.

3) If everything worked well, we’ll release to Android for real at that point.

4) Port all of the existing stuff to iOS and release on that.

On Amazon and Barnes & Noble!

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue from which you bought it. Reviews really, really help us get folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these latest fiction books:

Our Sales Partners!

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost Second Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Scarred Lands (Pathfinder) books are also on sale at Studio2, and they have the 5e version, supplements, and dice as well!: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/scarred-lands

Scion 2e books and other products are available now at Studio2: https://studio2publishing.com/blogs/new-releases/scion-second-edition-book-one-origin-now-available-at-your-local-retailer-or-online

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e at the same link! And now Scion Origin and Scion Hero and Trinity Continuum Core and Trinity Continuum: Aeon are available to order!

Deluxe Exalted 3rd Edition continues its fantastic sale at IPR, soon to be joined by Game-Line Bundles! Check them out!

As always, you can find Onyx Path’s titles at DriveThruRPG.com!

On Sale This Week!

This week the Dystopia Rising: Evolution core book will be available in PDF and PoD versions on DriveThruRPG on Wednesday, and the physical traditionally printed books will be available in stores via Studio2 and IPR!

No one knows how long it’s been since the world was blasted with nuclear radiation and became infested with the undead. The survivors of the Fall were the first strain of deviation of the human condition and were able to make it through the rapidly spreading epidemic. Finding a community of decent size in this world is rare; finding one that has any concept of equality or morality is rarer still.

Oh, and people have the unnerving ability to come back from the dead, regrown from the very virus that destroyed the world.

Some highlights of Dystopia Rising: Evolutioninclude:

Rules for creating characters for 24 different Strains, variations on humanity that survived the Fall.

Details on the powers of faith and psionics.

Advice on running action-adventure stories, webs of personal intrigue, and procedural investigations.

Dozens of antagonists, including a variety of zombies and raiders to use in your series.

Welcome to the Evolution!

We’re also offering the Dystopia Rising: Evolution Gaming Screen on Weds!

Conventions!

Though dates are subject to change due to the current COVID-19 outbreak, here’s our current list of upcoming conventions:

UKGames Expo: https://www.ukgamesexpo.co.uk/

GenCon: https://www.gencon.com/

Tabletop Scotland: https://tabletopscotland.co.uk/

Gamehole Con: https://www.gameholecon.com/

PAX Unplugged: https://unplugged.paxsite.com/

And now, the new project status updates!

Development Status from Eddy Webb! (Projects in bold have changed status since last week.):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep.)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

Under Alien Suns (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Mission Statements (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Adversaries of the Righteous (Exalted 3rd Edition)

The Clades Companion (Deviant: The Renegades)

The Devoted Companion (Deviant: The Renegades)

Saints and Monsters (Scion 2nd Edition)

M20 Rich Bastard’s Guide To Magick (Mage: The Ascension 20th Anniversary)

Wild Hunt (Scion 2nd Edition)

Dead Man’s Rust (Scarred Lands)

V5 The Faithful Undead (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

V5 Trails of Ash and Bone (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

V5 Forbidden Religions (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Redlines

Dragon-Blooded Novella #2 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Hundred Devil’s Night Parade (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Adventure! core (Trinity Continuum: Adventure!)

Contagion Chronicle Ready-Made Characters (Chronicles of Darkness)

Novas Worldwide (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Exalted Essence Edition (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Second Draft

Exigents (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Crucible of Legends (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Many-Faced Strangers – Lunars Companion (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Assassins (Trinity Continuum Core)

The Book of Endless Death (Mummy: The Curse 2e)

N!ternational Wrestling Entertainment (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Development

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

TC: Aberrant Reference Screen (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Contagion Chronicle: Global Outbreaks (Chronicles of Darkness)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

They Came From Beyond the Grave! (They Came From!)

Manuscript Approval

Scion: Dragon (Scion 2nd Edition)

Post-Approval Development

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

Editing

Terra Firma (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Lunars Novella (Rosenberg) (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Buried Bones: Creating in the Realms of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Player’s Guide to the Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Contagion Chronicle Jumpstart (Chronicles of Darkness)

TC: Aberrant Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum)

Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)

LARP Rules (Scion 2nd Edition)

One Foot in the Grave Jumpstart (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e)

Post-Editing Development

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

W20 Shattered Dreams Gift Cards (Werewolf: The Apocalypse 20th)

Cults of the Blood Gods (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Hunter: The Vigil 2e core (Hunter: The Vigil 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

Titanomachy (Scion 2nd Edition)

Pirates of Pugmire KS-Added Adventure (Realms of Pugmire)

Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Indexing

Art Direction from Mike Chaney!

In Art Direction

Scion Titanomachy – Wrapping up contracting.

Tales of Aquatic Terror – Contracted.

TC Aeon Terra Firma – Most of the art is in, maybe all of it.

V5 Let the Streets Run Red – Tweaking some art re: WW art approvals.

Cavaliers of Mars: City of the Towered Tombs

WoD Ghost Hunters

Aberrant – Contacting and contracting – wrapping up half-pagers and portraits.

Pugmire Adventure

Hunter: The Vigil 2e

Mummy 2

Deviant – Rolling along.

Legendlore – Kickstarter on hiatus.

Technocracy Reloaded (KS) – Art and graphics ready to go.

Cults of the Blood God – Rolling along.

In Layout

Yugman’s Guide to Ghelspad

Contagion Chronicle

Vigil Watch

Duke Rollo Book

Proofing

Trinity Aeon Jumpstart

Pirates of Pugmire

TCFBTS Heroic Land Dwellers – Inputting proofing comments.

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate – Awaiting 2nd proof notes.

Scion Companion – Tweaking art re: proofing notes.

At Press

TC Distant Worlds

Night Horrors : Nameless and Accursed – Awaiting Errata.

Dark Eras 2 – PoD proof shipping.

VtR Spilled Blood – PoD proof shipping.

Dystopia Rising: Evolution – On Sale this Wednesday!

DR:E Screen & Booklet – On Sale this Wednesday!

DR:E Helnau’s Guide to Wasteland Beasties

Geist 2e Screen

TCFBTS Screen and Booklet

They Came from Beneath the Sea! – Reviewing Indexing.

Geist 2e Anthology – PoD proof ordered.

C:tL 2e Oak, Ash, & Thorn – Awaiting Errata.

Today’s Reason to Celebrate!

Happy Birthday! to the 5th Doctor: in 1951 Peter Davison was born. He’s looking at me right now from my 2020 Doctor Who calendar, as April is the month he appears in this year. Must have been a tough assignment following Tom Baker after the 4th Doctor had been burned into people’s minds for 8 years. Yet, for many, Davison’s Doctor is Their Doctor, which is the way it should be – so kudos to him for creating another version and era of the classic character!

#Onyx Path Publishing

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probably-not-star-lord · 5 years

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Avengers Assemble: Part 2 (Peter Parker x Reader)

Part 1

A/N: Hey guys! I’m posting new content! Are you surprised? Also I’m sorry this is shit I haven't written fanfic in so long

Request: Could you write something where Peter (Spiderman) has a crush and asks Tony for help but he doesn’t know what to advise him so he calls all of the Avengers to help?

Summary: It’s time for Peter to put his advice from the Avengers to good use.

Warnings: swearing, fluff

Peter practically sprints to his chemistry class after the bell rings. He is so excited to see you. When he reaches the classroom it is empty except for the teacher and a few students filing in quietly behind him. His eyes wander over to the agenda and he lets out a shaky sigh of relief. There is a lab planned for today, which means Peter will be working alongside you. It will be the perfect opportunity for him to try out everything he learned from the Avengers.

As more students flood into the room, Peter’s anxiety levels begin rising. His eyes remain glued to the door as he awaits your arrival. The hands on the clock strike forward at a quick pace as the minute of the late bell approaches. Peter’s brow starts sweating as he tries to recall what he learned only a few days ago.

Be a gentleman.

Show your strength.

Show your intelligence.

Make her laugh.

Always be respectful.

Flirt.

Tony’s advice really sticks with him. Peter never figured out how to flirt, and the fact that he is an awkward, dorky, teenage boy doesn’t help his case. He may be a badass and fight crime as a superhero, but when he is standing in front of you he simply feels like Peter Parker. Peter Parker spends his free time studying, playing video games, building Legos, and reading comic books. To him, that does not sound like the kind of kid who could work up the courage to flirt with the girl of he likes. His mind wanders to what Tony’s final words to him were, and he knows that if you don’t like him for who he is then he needs to move on. He takes a deep breath and glances at the door once again. He’s ready.

But you don’t show up.

The first five minutes of class pass by as the teacher provides the class with instructions on how to conduct the chemistry experiment. Several students remain confused after the directions and ask question after question. Peter likes how it helps pass time as he watches the door, still wishing you arrive. She continues giving confused students steps on how to properly reach the goal of the lab, and Peter hopes more kids will raise their hands to ask questions.

“What’s the matter with you?” Ned asks, creeping up on Peter as he snaps his safety goggles on goofily.

Peter jumps forward, startled. “Shit, Ned, you scared me.”

Ned shrugs. “Well, it was needed. You seem distracted.”

“Maybe I am,” Peter discloses, his gaze returning to the still empty doorway.

“Oh,” Ned smirks, following where Peter is staring. “You’re waiting for Y/N.”

“What? No I’m not!”

“Yeah, you are,” Ned argues, patting Peter on the back. “It’s cool. You like her, I get it.”

“I do not,” Peter says, scowling at his friend. Him and Ned both know that is a huge lie.

Fast footsteps echo throughout the room as you enter the doorway in a rush. You stand some space away from the door, trying to catch your breath. In one hand you have a late pass and in the other you have a fresh, iced coffee from the cafe down the street. Peter looks up instantly and it feels like he is falling for you all over again. You’re wearing a college t-shirt and faded jeans paired with white converse. It’s a simple outfit you managed to pull together this morning as you frantically tried to get ready, but Peter thinks you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. He thinks you’d look good in absolutely anything. Your hair is falling down along your shoulders in messy waves, and Peter craves running his fingers through it as he has you wrapped in his arms.

“Y/N!” the teacher exclaims, shooting you a smile. “I’m glad you could finally join us.”

You smile sheepishly, slightly embarrassed you barged in on the lesson. “Yeah, I’m so sorry I’m late,” you apologize, handing her the late pass. Her eyes dart to the coffee in your hand and you grow even more embarrassed.

“No worries,” she reassures. “You can go take your seat next to Peter. I’m just going over the lab we will be completing today. Let me know if you have any questions.”

“Okay, thank you,” you mumble with a nod. You walk delicately over to the supplies station at the front of the room and retrieve the ridiculously silly safety goggles. Peter’s eyes remain on you as you go through the basic procedure before setting up a lab. He knows you will be approaching him soon and his heart nearly beats out of his chest.

“Dude,” Ned whispers. “Your heart has a total boner right now.”

Peter glares at his friend. “Shut the fuck up,” he defends, pushing Ned away from his lab bench. “Go away! Go!.”

“Whoa,” you laugh, gaining Peter’s attention. “Watch your language, Peter.”

“Yeah, sorry,” he murmurs, completely unsure what to say to your joke. Peter brings a hand to the back of his neck anxiously. He tells himself he needs to be a gentleman. You go to have a seat at the lab bench and he pulls the stool out for you, assisting you in sitting down.

“Why thank you, Peter,” you snicker as he helps you. “What’s the special treatment for?”

“Just...trying to be a gentleman...I guess.”

You shake your head and laugh. You have no idea what has gotten into Peter today, but he seems unusually awkward to you. The two of you work quietly for a while, preparing the materials for the experiment. You desperately want him to say something or for you to find something to talk about. The crush you have been harboring for Peter since the beginning of the school year grows more every time you talk to him. It’s a little difficult for you to figure out what to say, due to the lighthearted awkwardness of the conversations you and Peter endure in. Yet, you enjoy them nonetheless.

Peter barely focuses on what he is supposed to be doing for class and instead wonders how he can demonstrate his strength. With his powers, he is one of the strongest Avengers, but he knows there is no use for that in the classroom. Instead, he moves onto demonstrating his intelligence to you. Disrupting the silence, he immediately begins mixing the provided chemicals together in a test tube.

“Peter,” you scold, eyes widening as you watch him pour almost all of the given supplies in one test tube. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I already know how to do this experiment,” he claims, trying his best to smirk at you while also watch what he is doing. “I figured it out while our teacher was talking.”

“You mean while she was explaining the instructions?”

He shrugs. “I guess so, yeah.”

“Well,” you begin, your stare glazing over the remaining materials on the lab bench. “I still need to know how to do it.”

“Oh, shit, right,” Peter mutters, blushing. He knew that you also needed to help with the lab and him just taking over to show how smart he is was probably not the best decision. He sighs and thinks about being respectful. “I’m sorry, Y/N”

“Peter, it’s okay.” The corners of your mouth quirk up into a bright smile as you laugh wholeheartedly at Peter. He grins to himself, knowing he at least was able to make you laugh. “I just...” you trail off and take a deep breath. “Care to explain how to do this?”

Peter nods eagerly as he clarifies everything about the lab. You’re not even really listening, as you already understand the directions, but you love watching Peter talk like this. He gets passionate about certain subjects and you’ve desired to see him babble about what he loves. The way his eyes light up and his hands gesture to the air as he demonstrates what he is saying makes your heart skip a beat. You rest your head on your hand as you watch him go on and on about the silly experiment.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah...”

Peter chuckles. “So...does it make sense now?”

You sit right up as a blush creeps to your cheeks. You were just shamelessly watching Peter and he totally caught on. “Yeah, it makes sense now. Thank you,” you state quickly as your hands fumble with some loose materials on the lab bench.

Peter watches you intently and decides now is his chance to find out the truth. He did what the Avengers advised him to do, except for the flirting. Peter knows that he wouldn't be very good at that anyway. He makes up things to say in his head and tries to decide what the perfect words are. How does one ask out the girl of their dreams?

Meanwhile, you debate if you should question Peter on his strange behavior. You’ve known for a long time that Peter just happens to be an awkward teenager, as most are, but the way he acts around you is clearly distinct from the way he acts towards others. There is a possibility he could return your feelings, and if there is, you want to know. You conclude that right now is your chance to discover how he feels.

Peter takes a deep breath, ready to find out the answer to his longing question.

You take a deep breath, ready to find out the answer to your longing question.

“Peter?”

“Y/N?”

The two of you blush at the fact you spoke at the same time, laughing nervously. Then you both try and speak again, making an effort to apologize for interrupting. Yet again, you find yourselves speaking at the same time. The stuttered nonsense spills out of your mouths quickly with no filter. Finally, you both choose to be silent for a moment. Peter gestures for you to go ahead, making a mental note that he is taking Steve’s advice by being gentlemanly.

“Peter...do you like me?” you ask, your voice low and shaky. Peter freezes at the question, unsure how to truly respond. He knows he likes you and that he was actually planning on confessing how he feels just moments before. But, in the moment, his anxieties get the best of him and all he can do is stand silently stunned.

“I...I was actually...” he tries to steady his breathing with a flustered chuckle, but it barely helps. “I was actually going to...I was just about to...”

You meet his eyes and smile. “Is that what you were just about to tell me?” He nods. “So, I guess that explains how weird you’ve been acting today.”

“Yeah, well, I tried taking some advice from friends. It didn’t work out as well as I had hoped.”

“You didn’t need to ask anyone for advice, Peter,” you giggle. “I like you just as you are.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

permanent tag list: @lolabean1998 @thisismysecrethappyplace @crazystarlady

marvel tag list: @verkyun

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the-muse-of-animation · 7 years

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The Magic of Animation

Animation is like a dream come true, if magic exists, it’s in animation. As a child you may have been enchanted by the tree growing scene in Totoro or by how lively and comical a object such as the carpet in Aladdin could become. Have you ever wondered how this magic comes to be ? How all the mechanisms are set in motion to deliver the final product on your screen ? You have come to the right place, O Reader, this blog is solely devoted to the magic of animation, may it be to showcase its wonders or to uncover all its tricks.

This post will be a very small and incomplete talk about animation to serve as an introduction to this blog.

Why animation would be magical one may ask ?

Animation is magic because anything can take life on screen. Animation is the part of art that can not only give movements to a drawing but can also give it all the dimensions and complexity of a soul. Even a landscape has a new life when animated. All arts have their own way to convey life to their objects and animation is too often seen as simple entertainment compared to “higher arts” when it should be on the same level as all the other arts. Animation is magic because unlike a live action movie, anything can be done : sumptuous sceneries, impressive fights, surreal landscapes, you name it. This is why live action adaptations are often considered a loss compared to their original material. The magic of animation also lies in the possibilities it offers, which are far more important than for a movie.The world of animation is built by all the styles the animators use. Animation is perhaps where the directors pour their own identities and visions in a more spectacular and intimate manner. This might be because in animation distortion is the key. For example the animated human figure is rarely similar to the real human figure. This distortion is impossible in live action movies. The same thing goes for the laws of physics : for example, in the animated world, a fabric will not fall the same way it would in real life. Hence the animated world has a wide range of aesthetics to play with. When you watch animation you see a specific style and thus you see through the eyes of a creative mind. This is why the same scene animated by different animators will not render the same. The @gemanimate project in the Steven Universe fandom is a very good example of this, here is a comparison with the original material. Style goes hand in hand with technique : the technique influences the style and the style closer to the animator’s vision will be best express with a certain technique. Technique is the one of the reasons why animation is going through a golden age at the moment. Computers and 3D technology allow a whole new area for animators to experiment with more styles and more challenges too. The rising figure of this tendency is Makoto Shinkai : he said himself that without technology he probably wouldn’t have started animating. Nonetheless, traditional animation is not dead and choosing between the two is actually already an artistic choice like the one made by former Disney animators when they started the Hullabaloo project. You wish to see the magic of technique ? Follow me ! Style and technique go hand in hand to create the most magical aspect of animation : an atmosphere. Animation goes even further than live action movies when it comes to creating an ambiance.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Akiyuki Shinbo and Gen Urobuchi

Your Name, Makoto Shinkai

Le Tableau, Jean-François Laguionie

The Adventures of Prince Achmed, Lotte Reiniger When animation appears in a movie, it not only adds novelty but is also very linked to the special role of this particular scene. In Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, The Tale of the Three Brothers is told through an animated scene : animation manages to render the eerieness of this story as well as the fact that it is not on the same level as the main story line. It is a tale and animation helps emphasize on the difference with the real world.

Like all magic tricks, the magician needs time to master it, to hide all the tricks and to give the impression of an effortless demonstration. You may admire an animator with all your might and may want him to make a new movie every year but behind every animated piece there are a lot of hard workers and hours of work. Even up to these days, animation is not something you can make in a blink of an eye. For example, stop motion is one of the technique to require a huge amount of work to shoot only a few seconds. It took 30 years for Le Roi et l’Oiseau, one of the masterpieces of French animation and also the first French full-length animated film, to achieve its final form. On a side note, the first incomplete release of the movie ended up inspiring a young generation of animators which happened to create the Studio Ghibli afterwards. Even nowadays animation requires time. Take the latest Disney movie Moana, it took around 5 years to make it, from the first scouting in the Pacific Islands to the final release in theaters. All this time is needed because animation goes far more than just characters moving, it’s about giving life, it’s about making the characters deep and complex as any good characters should be. It’s less a question of realism than a question of how touching and believable the story and the characters are. Animation is magic because it has so many different formats and each has their own specificities, may it be a movie, an animated series, an anime... Different formats mean different ways of using animation especially when it comes to animated series. A series of 10-minute long episodes will not tell a story the same way as a series of 20-minute long episodes. Nor would a movie or an anime, the latter having very specific “rules” of its own. Some may think that nowadays animated series have way too simplistic drawing styles. As creator Alex Hirsh pointed out, style is not the only decisive element in animation, scenario and character development are keys to a good series. A story needs to follow a coherent scenario with a coherent ending. Gravity Falls is the best example when it comes to animated series, its ending crowning the series at the paroxysm of its excellence. Moreover, even in these “simplistic drawn” shows, there is a clear distinction and work on the style, Steven Universe is not Gravity Falls, each has its own aesthetics and ambiances.

Steven Universe

Gravity Falls

Over the Garden Wall Animation is magic because it is a important part of another side of art : video games. Video games nowadays can expand and keep innovating partly because of their use of animation. Here again style is a very important aspect : the story travels through it to bring you a very specific ambiance and grab your attention. And there again, the scenario influences the style chosen.

Child of Light

Limbo Animation is magic because it has a very special place compared to the other media when it comes to audience. An immense majority of people still thinks that animation is either for kids or a weird hobby for adults to have. They fail to see that animation is a huge part of education for kids : animation helps develop imagination, it sparkles creativity, and helps them understand themselves better. Rebecca Sugar said that she created Steven Universe because she wanted to help young people in search of themselves and she would have loved to have a show like this when she was young and struggling. Likewise Gravity Falls is an ode to the imagination and creativity of childhood and the transition to adolescence. Hence saying that a show is “for kids” doesn’t mean anything else than an ignorant contempt. As an adult, you can appreciate animation as the art it is and reflect on things differently. The animation industry targets more and more adults with some heavy-themed productions. Psichonautas is a very good example of this. The movie addresses multiple issues such as depression, PTSD, drugs and global warming through a very dark ambiance. Likewise, Night in the Woods explores mental illness, animation and striking imagery conveying Mae’s dissociative disorder.

Night in the Woods Animation is magic because it comes to life with music. As I said, animation is not only movements, backgrounds, styles and everything in between. To bring the characters and the world to life, animation needs voices and music. A Miyazaki movie will not be the same without Joe Hisaishi to paint the sound of his universe. The same thing goes for the voice actors. Their part in the process is as important as any other. The Joker in the Batman Series would not have been the Joker without Mark Hamill and even up to these days, he is the most iconic performer. The voice actors themselves are like chameleons, you are sometimes surprised to discover it was a very familiar actor/actress who was dubbing a specific character. Tara Strong is a very famous voice actress precisely for that reason. Animation is magic because it is linked with everything else. Animation sparkles creativity from the watchers : fanart is the mark of this creativity. Besides, animation is connected with culture too. Animation and video games are also other ways and maybe less conventionnal ways of learning about history, literature etc. The anime Puella Magi Magica Madoka plays on the Faustian myth whereas the Fate series are very good ways to learn who Semiramis or Hassan ibn al-Sabbah were in history. These series often use historical fact in very clever manners to serve the scenarios. Like everything, animation has a bad side, still they are the reason we should appreciate all the more the good stuff. The Muse answers all your questions here, O Reader !

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yujachachacha · 7 years

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HiHi! same anon who asked you about Yakkai hehe (how did you know my true intentions? jk!) Just to cut you some slack I did try googling it myself before asking again but all I got were results for knb character songs(?) and a bollywood film(???) Frankly, I really do want to know because I've heard the term used in passing. Particularly from reports about the 2nd live Kobe leg. I heard about people doing it in KoiAqua?? To the point where someone got strangled in the Korean LV?? Is it that bad??

Hey there! Not gonna lie, I’m still lowkey pouting in the corner because you did that, but I’m glad to see that you’re genuinely curious. Thanks for trying your best! (☞ >ω･)☞

I have no idea what schools are teaching y’all these days, but research doesn’t mean typing a single word into Google! Also, if you’re gonna look up a Japanese term, you’re not gonna get the right results if you type the word in English without any additional parameters. Here are three methods you should try using when Googling a Japanese term you don’t know:

1. Write it in Japanese, i.e. “やっかい”. The first Google result is in Japanese, but let’s assume that we’re not so good at reading Japanese (since if we were, we’d probably be able to figure out the meaning of “yakkai” pretty quickly), and skip over this one. The second result gives you a Wiktionary link, which is in English and perfect for our purposes. It defines the word 厄介 (yakkai) as “troublesome” or a “burden”. This is literally what “yakkai” means, but for the purposes of idol fan culture, we’ll be adding a bit more meaning to this.

2. If you’re doing your search in English, add the word “Japanese” to your search term. After all, if we’re not so good at reading Japanese, who’s to say that we’ll be able to type something in Japanese? Try Googling the phrase “yakkai japanese”. This guarantees that what you’re typing won’t be mistaken for a word from another language (which is why you got results for a Bollywood film). The Google results are almost the same as in method #1, except that there are a lot more links in English rather than Japanese. So in short, this is basically an alternative to the first method for those of you who can’t read Japanese so well.

3. Include context for your term, i.e. add things like “Love Live” and “idol”. We can now try to figure out what the word means in the context of the LL fandom by googling “yakkai love live”. A bunch of the image results are Bollywood-related (because of yakkai + love, lol), but the top two links give us threads from the /r/LoveLive subreddit. The very first link in particular, “Aqours 2nd Love Live Discussion [Kobe]”, actually contains exactly what we’re looking for.

If you use the “find” function (“ctrl + f”, or “cmd + f” if you’re on a Mac like me) and search for “yakkai”, you’ll eventually see that someone on this thread asked what people meant by yakkai calls in the discussion about the live. /u/MasterMirage himself (a mod of the LL subreddit and a member of Team ONIBE) gives a great explanation:

Um, so if you’re aware of the standard “Fu fu”, “fuwa fuwa” and “hai” chants, these are the standard go to chants to do at lives.

The Koi Aqua Yakkai (troublesome/burden) calls are out of place calls that you normally don’t do at lives since they interrupt the flow of the concert and are considered disruptive by many people.

I guess this video explains it pretty well since the calls here are what you should not do at a live:

https://twitter.com/dan_chii/status/882024909995556864

A common call “IE TAIGA” is something that people are getting annoyed at because people think it’s funny.

Sat from Fripside even called out on these alternative/disruptive calls:

https://twitter.com/Jsan_san/status/896918057397829634

I highly recommend you check out those Twitter links to give you a better understanding of what yakkai calls are (video in the first link) and why you shouldn’t be doing them (translated quote in the second link). For the first link, the yakkai isn’t too bad, at least until you get to the rap portion of the master mix at about 55 seconds in. But just imagine how annoying it would be if the fans were screaming that during a live rather than at a casual wota session at a convention. :’)

Also, I’m gonna go ahead and write down a part of the material in the second link here, because it’s really important:

“That part was made with the idea that the silence could be felt before the hook, you know? It has a purpose. I didn’t want [it] to be destroyed!”

Keep in mind that this was said by Satoshi of fripSide about his own song, while on stage during a concert tour. That’s how annoying these calls are. Instead of respecting the mood that the artists worked so hard to create for the song, yakkai concertgoers try to be as disruptive as possible for their own amusement.

So yeah, “ie taiga” (for those of you who aren’t familiar with this term, here’s my explanation from a previous ask) and similar calls/wota are the essence of yakkai. If you’re wondering why it enrages people so much, consider the following:

After spending a lot of money and praying to the gods for luck, a fan manages to score a seat at an Aqours live. At the concert, the fan is enjoying the fact that they’re listening to the Aqours seiyuu singing and dancing in front of them, live. Holy crap! :D But then comes along some asshole who thinks it’s funny to ruin the mood by screaming in the middle of a song. Opportunities to attend an Aqours live aren’t common, so it’s understandable that someone would end up getting very upset.

The same goes for a live viewing. A live viewing is an opportunity to see the seiyuu perform in real-time, and it’s a precious one at that. Footage shown at screenings differs slightly from the more polished versions we get in Blu-rays, so you get to see the raw performance at a viewing. Plus, you’re cheering and jumping and screaming along with the audience like you would at the actual live. “Ie taiga” distracts you from recreating the atmosphere of the performance, and is a huge sign of disrespect towards the other attendees.

Korean LL fans in particular have a deep-seated hatred for “ie taiga” (I’m not quite sure why it’s so intense - perhaps it has to do with the nature of the LLer culture over there?). For example, popular YouChika artist GamGam (@gamjolno on Twitter) has complained heavily about it happening during lives, and even resorted to plugging their ears at the pivotal moment in KoiAqua just to avoid hearing the phrase. As many Korean LLers were at a live viewing for the 2nd Live tour, the combined murderous rage they held for yakkai LLers exploded when they heard it actually happen during the screening.

Of course, I don’t approve of them trying to strangle (or physically harm in general) a yakkai LLer. What I will say, however, is that I can at least see why someone reacted that way.

If you need another example to understand why they went that far: I assume you’re familiar with “Snow halation”, and the famous part of the song where the µ’s members stand still before the audience cracks their UOs. There’s a brief moment, before Honoka’s emotional solo and the explosion of bright orange filling up the concert venue, where everything is silent save for the jingling of bells leading up to the climax (3:08~3:09). It’s a beautiful, almost holy silence, revered by many for this sacred and beloved performance.

Now, imagine if someone suddenly screamed “YEAH TIGERRRR!!!” right at that moment.

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Understand now? It’s not funny. It’s not impressive. It’s downright infuriating.

First, yakkai LLers took away the enjoyment of the “I miss you~” You solo line in KoiAqua and the build-up to the chorus (see ~1:22 in this video for an audio demonstration). Then, someone decided to ruin the dramatic silence before the final chorus of “Aozora Jumping Heart” (~3:30 in the song). And now, there’s been reports of someone at the Saitama live screaming “IE TAIGAAA” right as the song slows down before the “la la la~” ending portion (~3:33 in the song).

I would hesitantly say that the “ie taiga” for KoiAqua is on the borderline of being tolerable. The song is full of chants anyway, and that part after You’s line does sound like it could accommodate some kind of call - but still, you should save it for a fan mix rather than a live. It’s the kind of thing that’ll make some people giggle at the weirdness, while others roll their eyes and mutter about the newest generation of LLers being yakkai af.

But for AoJump and MiraTicke, the yakkai incidents have been happening at solemn, quieter portions of the song rather than the cheerful and noisy sections. I have seen various posts by LLers claiming that they’re proud to “ie taiga” at a live as the ultimate expression of their wota skills, plus they’re doing it just for teh lulz. Again - it’s highly inappropriate, and disrespectful to both the audience members who are trying to enjoy the performance and the performers who are trying to make the performance enjoyable. If you want to prove that you’re a devoted LLer, your actions shouldn’t be damaging to the community.

To wrap things up: if you happen to search for “yakkai idol” instead, the first result that Google gives you is a blog post that talks about the concept of yakkai at idol events. The author includes some sound wisdom at the end:

What people really mean when they say “don’t be yakkai” is just that don’t go crazy and enjoy being annoying, and taking your entertainment at the cost of the enjoyment of others. Like, it’s fun to troll people, but that’s not good if the other party doesn’t enjoy it. It might be fun to go nuts, but don’t do it when it’s inappropriate.

Basically, it’s okay to go crazy during karaoke sessions or casual wota sessions with friends. Take that tweet in the first link from MasterMirage’s comment. I happen to know one of the people in that video, and he’s an awesome guy who knows a lot about concert calls. These wota bros were being “yakkai” for sure, but they were doing it at the Lumica booth at Anime Expo rather than a live. It was actually pretty amusing, and was almost like a free ad for the booth: “See these LLers partying with their lightsticks? You too can join in on the fun by purchasing a Lumica blade and/or UOs at this booth!” But for the sake of other fans, make sure you keep it clean during actual lives and public screenings.

tl;dr: “Yakkai” literally means “burdensome/troublesome”, and refers to antics of this nature by fans during performances. Notable examples include particularly annoying fans who scream “IE TAIGA” not only during KoiAqua, but also in highly inappropriate moments from other songs. Don’t be like this during a live unless you want to be heavily criticized for disrespecting the performers and lacking common decency for the people around you.

#love live! sunshine!!#love live sunshine #aqours #aqours 2nd live #happy party train tour #yakkai #info #my ramblings #anonymous #yujachask #queuetie panther #today on yujacha's blog: i give lessons on how to do research #smh do schools not teach kids how to do proper research these days #AND NOW Y'ALL KNOW WHY I ITALICIZED 'BOTHER' IN THE PREVIOUS ASK #AREN'T I CLEVER? :D #...okay i'll leave now #again apologies for leaving this to my queue #my family just celebrated korean thanksgiving lol

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allenmendezsr · 4 years

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udemy-gift-coupon-blog · 5 years

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TypeScript, Angular, Firebase & Angular Material Masterclass ##elearning ##UdemyFreeDiscountCoupons #Angular #Firebase #Masterclass #Material #TypeScript TypeScript, Angular, Firebase & Angular Material Masterclass Angular is one of the most popular front-end frameworks for building client apps with HTML, CSS, and TypeScript. So basically, if you want to become a successful front-end or a full-stack developer, that get hired, you need to have Angular as a skill under your belt. Learning Angular 2 or Angular 4 or Angular 5 or Angular 6 or simply Angular(as the Angular team likes to call it) on your own can be confusing or frustrating at times. It might require you to browse through several tutorials, articles, YouTube videos, etc and get a grip on it. If you want to get rid of going through all that trouble and just focus on learning Angular, this is THE course for you. 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As with so many other courses I would love to see some Summaries or cheatsheets as PDFs or foils and also I'd appreciate to see more schematics, graphs, and sketches." - He "講解詳細" -曾玟凱 "This course was perfect for beginners like me. I learned so much from it. Thanks a lot Siddharth for such a good course. Looking forward to more courses from you. Can you please add a section that demonstrates building of an application end to end?" - ankita daur "Siddarth explained the course in a very simple manner and with simple examples. Would love more indepth on Angular Material and Firebase from him. Great course." - Kumar "There is so much information provided in this course. I was looking for custom Decorators and use cases where in they could be implemented to make the code cleaner. I found perfect examples on similar topics in this training. This course is great for beginners." - Kewal Shah ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 30-DAY FULL MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE This course comes with a 30-day full money-back guarantee. Take the course, watch every lecture, follow along while coding, and if you are not happy for any reasons, contact Udemy for a full refund within the first 30 days of your enrolment. All your money back, no questions asked. ABOUT YOUR INSTRUCTOR Siddharth is a software engineer with around 5 years of professional experience. He is the author of this course with more than 15,000 students in 192 countries. He has done his Bachelor of Engineering in Computer Science. He has worked on several Modern Web Applications. Chatbots, and frameworks. He writes articles about Angular, and Chatbots on Medium. What are the requirements? Basic familiarity with HTML, CSS, and JavaScript NO knowledge of AngularJS or Angular is required What am I going to get from this course? Establish yourself as a skilled professional developer Build real-world Angular applications on your own Troubleshoot common Angular errors Master the best practices Write clean and elegant code like a professional developer What is the target audience? Developers who want to upgrade their skills and get better job opportunities Front-end developers who want to stay up-to-date with the latest technology Back-end developers who want to learn front-end development and become full-stack developers Hobbyist developers who are passionate about working with new frameworks Who this course is for: Anyone who wants to learn Angular Anyone interested in building Single Page Applications Anybody who wants to know Angular in depth Anyone who wants to learn TypeScript, Firebase and Angular Material 👉 Activate Udemy Coupon 👈 Free Tutorials Udemy Review Real Discount Udemy Free Courses Udemy Coupon Udemy Francais Coupon Udemy gratuit Coursera and Edx ELearningFree Course Free Online Training Udemy Udemy Free Coupons Udemy Free Discount Coupons Udemy Online Course Udemy Online Training 100% FREE Udemy Discount Coupons https://www.couponudemy.com/blog/typescript-angular-firebase-angular-material-masterclass/

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sweetdreamsjeff · 7 years

Text

Knowing Not Knowing

"Early in the spring of 1997, singer and songwriter Jeff Buckley headed down to Memphis to begin pre-production on what would have been his second full-length album. A few weeks after Buckley arrived, his bandmates flew in from New York to join him. He was in high spirits: the songwriting was going well, and he was reunited with his group. The same night his band arrived Buckley went out for a late-night stroll to a Memphis harbor and waded into the river. He had always admired Led Zeppelin, and was singing "Whole Lotta Love" when a boat passed in front of him. He lost his footing, perhaps dragged into the water by the boat's wake, and was never seen alive again. He was thirty years old, two years older than his father, the folksinger Tim Buckley, had been when he died of a drug overdose. "I first met Jeff Buckley and saw him perform about two years before he passed away. It was near midnight and Buckley was sitting int he back office of a Tower Records store in lower Manhattan. Buckley had become a scion of the Lower East Side antifolk scene, and was preparing for an in-store performance in support of his album GRACE. "But first he needed to do something: he insisted on listening to a crackly old recording of "The Man That Got Away" by Judy Garland, in the pretext that he wanted the store manager, who had given the CD to Buckley, to understand how magnificent a gift it was. Buckley needed to demonstrate the album's beauty. He had also picked up gratis CD reissues of vintage Aretha Franklin and Nina Simone records, and two albums by Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, who had a major influence on Buckley's singing. While Buckley could occasionally summon the same kind of ecstatic vocal power that was Khan's trademark, his singing had more in common with Garland's delicate, vulnerable warble. "Buckley was an unglamorous star. That night he was wearing a wretched pair of weathered combat boots- the sort you occasionally see homeless men selling- a frumpy gray cardigan sweater, and jeans that hadn't been washed in a long time. Ditto his hair. In an oddly white-trash bit of accessorizing, Buckley's wallet was attached to his belt by a chain, in the style favored by motorcyle gangs. Three days of beard growth rounded out his anti-coif, but his sex appeal remained intact: a nervous girl approached to ask if, as she suspected, he was a Scorpio. Another pressed a poem she had written for him into his hand. He folded it carefully and put it in his pocket, as though he would cherish it forever. Maybe he did. Buckley was at an odd moment in his career when he died. Having moved to New York several years before from California, where he was raised by his mother, he crawled his way up through the ranks of teh insular lower Manhattan music scene. He had beome a mini-star in that highly circumsribed mircrocosm, perched on the cusp of national and international success. That night at Tower records the line between Lower East Side local hero and international stardom seemed pretty thin. On one hand, his debut album sold several hundred thousand copies (although more in Europe than America), and there was a trhrong of photographers and autograph-seekers pressing around him. ON the other hand, he wasn't above hauling his own gear onstage, more or less indistinguishable from the half dozen stringy-haired sound men and roadies who were putting together the sound system in the first place. "Buckley had no video in heavy rotation on MTV, largely because he insisted that people judge the music on the way it sounded before supplying them with an accompanying image. For the same reason, he refused to even suggest a single to radio deejays. 'What I'd love,' Buckley said, 'is if a deejay had a lineup of songs, and he'd just use one of my songs as part of a really nice evening. But that's the way I would deejay, not the way they do it. They usually have playlists.' "For a guy with folksinging in his blood, Buckley had assembled an arsenal of prog-rock guitar effects you'd expect at an Emerson, Lake, and Palmer show and had set his amp at cat-spaying volume. (In fact, he had been raised on Led Zeppelin and Kiss.) Several dozen more stringy-haired people with assorted rings in their lips and noses (his fans) materialized. AS he stepped onto the makeshift stage, a grumpy security guard began clearing some fans from a stairway, but Buckley interjected: 'Wait! Those are my friends! Can they stay there? I give them special permission.' What started as dispensation for four friends ended up being extended to anybody who wanted to stay. "The set began with a ghostly wail from Buckley, and a mildly Middle Eastern guitar line. He sang with a vibrato that quivered like the tongue of a snake. It was so atmospheric that you hardly realized his bandmates were rocking their tits off. That was the tension: Buckley ululating in sensual falsetto, the band churning out mid-seventies Led Zep knockoffs. He seemed a strangely ethereal cherub in the midsst of all that visceral thrash. "After the show, Buckley signed autographs, taking several minutes with the thirty or so fans who lined up for an audience with the tousle-haired singer. Rather than just scribbling an autograph, he wrote a personal note to each person. Everything he did seemed to place poetry before commerce, but I couldn't help wondering if it was all an elaborate ruse, a crafty stance aimed at those disenchanted with the slickness of pop posturing. Didn't Buckley, after all, want to make a lot of money and sell records? "'If it happens it'd be great,' he said later that night, over omelettes and wine at an all-night eatery, 'but we just play to express. I want to live my life playing music, so that we can be immersed in it. In order to learn how deep it goes, you have to be in it.' "As to why he took so much time with each of the fans who asked for an autograph, Buckley articulated his basic anti-rock-star stance: 'The way I experience a performance is that there's an exchange going on. It's not just my ego being fed. It's thoughts and feelings. Raw expression has it's own knowledge and wisdom." He trailed off, as though humbled by the mere thought of his audience wanting to hear him play, or asking him for an autograph. 'I've been in their position before and all I wanted was to show my appreciation to the performaer. So I feel like it's kind of generous of them to even be asking me for an autograph.' "'It's true that there's also the people who want a piece of you,' he conceded. 'But it's pretty hard to keep feeling protective all the time, because there's really nothign to protect yourself against. Sometimes people shout at me on the street, and they feel they know me through my music. But that doesn't substitute for a real personal relationship. I don't feel like people know me, I just htink we share a love for music in common, and for some reason they key into the way I play. I feel appretiative when people come up to me, and I feel good when we connect. Usually, it serves as a nice comedown after a performance. Any other conduct would bust the groove, because I'm buzzing when I get offstage, and I'm consciously protecting that connection because that's what got me through the performance in the first place. It's an invocation and worship fo this certain feeling, this direct line into your heart, and somehow music does that more powerfully than anything else. It's like ! a total, immediate elixir.' "By all appearances Buckley conformed to the stereotype of the poetic artist: largely lacking the practical, thick-skinned psychic barrier that separates most of us from the harsh realities of life. With a rabbit-like nervous disposition and a hypersensitive vulnerability that bordered on the tragicomic, he looked like he was about to burst into tears at any moment. His face was contorted and slightly tortured-looking during most of the interview, though I got the impression it wasn't so much the experience of being interviewed that was torturing him but the pain of grappling with his own thoughts and the world around him. "Relationships were at the heart of Buckley's world. Although he was marketed as a solo artist, the attitude he had toward his listeners mirrored the relationshiop he formed with his three-piece backing band. 'Playing with a band is all about accepting a bond, accepting everything the way it is. It takes a lot of patience and a lot of taking chances with each other. It wakes seeing each other in weak and strong lights, and accepting both, and utilizing the high and low points of your relationship.' "It wasn't only interpersonal relationships that Buckley held sacred-- he was aware of making his music in relation to all the sounds around him. The environment was Buckley's co-composer: to his ears, no melody or rhythm was separate from the sounds going on in the background. 'It's not like music begins or ends. All hinds of sounds are working into each other. Sometimes I'll just stop on the street because there's a sequence of sirens going on; it's like a melody I'll never hear again. In performance, things can be meaningful or frivolous, but either way the musical experience is totally spontaneous, and new life comes out of it, meaning if you're open to hearing the way music interacts with ambient sound, performance never feels like a rote experience. It's pretty special sometimes, the way a song affects a room, the way you're in complete rhythm with the song. When you're emotionally overcome, and there's no filter between what you say and what you mean, your language beco! mes gutteral, simple, emotional, and full of pictures and clarity. Were you to transcribe it, it might not make sense, but music is a totally different language." "'People talk all day in a practical way, but real language that penetrates and affects people and carries wisdom is something different. Mayve it's the middle of the afternoon and you see a child's moon up in the sky, and youfeel like it's such a simple, pure, wonderful thing to look at. It just hits you in a certain way, and you point it out to a stranger, and he looks at you like you're weird and walks away. To speak that way, to point out a child's moon to a stranger, is original language, it's the way you originate yourself. And the cool thing is, if you catch people in the right moment, it's totally clear. Without knowing why, it's simply clear. That sort of connection is very empirical. It comes from the part of you that just understands immediately. All these types of things are gold, and yet they are dishonored or not paid attention to because that kind of tender communication is so alien in our culture, *except* in performance. There's a wall up between people all day long ,but performance transcends that convention. If pop music were really seen as a fine art or if fine art were popular, I don't know what the hell would happen-- this wouldn't bee the same country, because if the masses of people began to respect and really open to fine art, it woudl bring about a huge shift in consciousness. "'Music is so many things. It's not just the performer. it's the audience and the architecture of the song, and each builds off the other. Music is a setting for poignancy, anger, destruction, total disaster, total wrongness, and then- like a little speck of gold in the middle of it- excitement, but excitement in a way that matters. Excitement that is not just aesthetically pleasing but shoots some sort of understanding into you.' "Buckley's songs were composed with made-up chords, bright harmonic clusters that seem too obvious not to have been written before, yet they rarely feel formulaic. There's a lot of open strumming, suggesting that the songs were written largely for the sheer physical pleasure of playing them. He and his band modified the arrangements during each performance, playing with an elasticity and openness typical of Buckley's personality. 'Hearing a song is like meeting somebody. A song is something that took time to grow and once it's there, it's on its own. Every time you perform it, it's different. It has its own structure, and you ahve to flow thorugh it, and it has to come through you.' "Buckley's entire career reflected on his outsider's approach to the music business. When he arrived in New York, rahter than recordings a demo or finding an agent, he simpley began to perform for free. He palyed at a small cafe on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, and before long, crowds were lined up out the door. As a result, representatives of record companies sought out Buckley, rahter than the other way around. 'There is a distinct separation of sensibility between art as commerce and art as a way of life. If you buy into one too heavily it eats up the other. If instead of having songs happen as your life happens, you're getting a song together because you need a cetain number of songs on a release to be sold, the juice is cuked out immediately. That approach kills it.' "Still, it took a strong belief in one's art to sit in a small cafe and trust that the world's record companies would come calling. buckley palyed down his seemingly effortless approach to career as though it were common-sense. 'I just wanted to learn cetain things. I wanted to just explore, like a kid with crayons. It took a while for me to get a record contract, but it also took a trememdous amount of time for me to feel comfortable playing, and that's all I was concerned with. And I'm still concerned with that, mainly. "'I don't think about my responsibility as a musician in terms of any kind of religious significance. I don't have any allegiance to an organized religion; I have an alligience to the gifts that I find for myslef in those religions. They seem to be saying the same thing, they just have different mythologies and expressions, but the dogma of religions and the way they're misusued is all too much of a trap. I'd rather be nondenominational, except for music. I prefer to learn everything through music. If you want divinity, the music in every human being and their lvoe for music is pretty much it. It's the big indication of their spirituality and their ability to love and make love, or feel pain or joy, and really manifest it, really be real. But I don't believe in a big guy with a beard on a throne, telling us that we're bad; I certainly don't believe in original sin. I belive in the opposite of that: you have an Eden immediately form the time you are born, but as you are conditioned by your caretakers and your suroundings, you may lose that original thing. Your task is to get back to it, so you can claim responsibility for your own perfection.' "buckley considered the development of awareness to be the main goal of his life. 'I think of it as trying to get more aligned with the feeling of purity in music, however it sounds. I think music is prayer. Sometimes poeple make up prayers and they don't even know it. They jsuit make up a song that has rhyme and meter, and once it's made it can carry on a life of its own. It can have a lot of juice to it and a lot of meaning: there's no end to the different individual flavors that people can bring to the musical form. 'In order to make the music actual, you have to enable it to be. And that takes facing some ting sinsude you that constrict you, your own impurity and mistakes and blockages. As yo uopen up yourself, the music opens up different directions that lead you in yet other directions.' "Asking most pop musicians if they're satisfied with records sales is liek asking moleds about the aging process: they say they don't care, but it's hard to believe. For commercial recording artists, sales are the only objective indicator of whether they're doing things right- that fans are sincerely motivated to walk into records stores by the tens or by the millions, pull out their wallets, and pay for the music. But with his quiet, unaffected boice nearly a whisper, Buckley steadfastly maintained tha the really didn't want to sell a million records- and it was strangely believable. When he talked aobut multiplatinum-selling bands who felt "disappointed" by a mere five million copies sold, the disgust he felt for commercialism was palpabale. 'The only valuable thing about selling records, the only thing that matters, is that people connect and that you keep on growing. You do many choices based on how many poeple you reach, meaning, now that I have a relationship with strangers worldwide, I have to try not to let it become too much of a factor and just accept it. The limited success we've had in the past is definately a factor, it's just there. It jsut is. The whole thing is such a crapshoot, you can't really control what your appeal is going to be. My music ain't gonna make it into the malls, but it doesn't matter. I don't really care to make it into the malls. "'Whether I sell a lot of records or not isn't up to me. You can sell alot of records, but that's just a number sold- that's not understood, or loved, or cherished. "'Take someone like Michael Jackson. Early on he sacrificed himself to his need to be loved by all. His talent and his power were so great that he got what he wanted but he also got a direct, negative result, which is that he's not able to grown into an adult human being. And that's why his music sounds sort of empty and wierd. "'Being the kind of person I am, fame is really overwhelming. First of all, just being faced with the questions that everybody faces: Do I matter? Should I go on? Why am I here? Is this really that improtant? All that low self-esteem shit. Your'e constantly trying to make sure that your sense of self-worth doesn't depend on the writings or opinions of other people. You have to wean yourself off acclaim as the object of your work, by learning to depend on your own judgment and knowing what it is that you enjoy. Youhave to realize what the difference is between being adored and being loved and understood. Big difference. "'I don't really have super-pointed answers to the big questions. I'm just in the middle of a mystery myself. I'm not even that developed at having a real psycho-religeous epistemology about what I feel. All I can tell you is that I feel. It's just the same old fitht to constantly be aware. It's an ongoing thing. It'll never be a static perfect thing or a static mediocre thing, it just has it's rise and fall.'" The following chapter has been transcribed from Shambhala Publishers' _Inside the Music: Conversations with Contemporary Musicians about Spirtuality, Creativity and Consciousness_, by Dimitri Ehrlich; ISBN #1-57062-273-6

#jeff buckley #inside the music conversations with contemporary musicians about #spirituality #creativity and consciousness #Dimitri Ehrlich

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