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stvharrngton · 10 months

Text

fuck about it

a/n: a lil something inspired by fuck about it by waterparks. this will be a two parter so stay tuned for part 2!

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 2.9k

warnings: smut, 18+ minors dni, dom!steve vibes, exes to friends with benefits, unresolved feelings, steve is a lil bit of an asshole 🤭

taglist: @dukesmebby @inkluvs @sweetbabygirlsworld

I like you but I need some space

Three days. All you wanted was three days. Three days alone. Three days without running into him.

Your situation was sticky. Messy. You almost wished you would have listened to your head before getting in a relationship with one of your friends, who was in turn friends with all of your other friends.

He was impossible to escape, not like you would ever want to. His face and everything about him was addicting, relationship or not. Sure, everything would certainly be easier if you didn’t decide to stay friends with a certain set of benefits but what could you say? He just knew how to push your buttons.

You found your thoughts drifting to him as you sat in the passenger seat of Eddie’s van, en route to some lame party you were sure.

“Anyone we know gonna be at this party, Eds?” You pondered out loud, gaze focused at the street zooming by outside the window.

“Well, uh–” he mumbled in response, hand coming to scratch as the back of his neck. He didn’t need to answer as he pulled into the driveway of some rich kids house, side by side with a familiar burgundy BMW.

“Oh,” you groaned, head rolling to the side to get a look at Eddie sporting a sheepish grin, “you’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Sorry, sweetheart,” his eyes not quite meeting your gaze, “knew you wouldn’t come if I told you he was gonna be here.”

He was right, you wouldn’t have. But you were here now and the cherry vodka inside was calling your name. So you bounded out of the van, pulling Eddie along with you inside the house, making a beeline for the kitchen.

Two drinks later and you were buzzed, cheeks a little rosy and head a little fuzzy. You’d somehow managed to avoid Steve all night which you didn’t know how to feel about. Usually, he’d sniff you out in an instant, hands snaking up your waist, lips on your ear, whispering something filthy. Something brazen before dragging you upstairs.

But not tonight.

You saw him out of the corner of your eye, whilst some other guy’s hands were on your hips, swaying to the beat of the loud pop music. He was leant up against the wall, beer in hand, some pretty girl by his side. Her hand was on his chest, their bodies dangerously close together. Her head was thrown back in a fit of laughter but Steve was only inching in closer to the girl, his lips millimeters away from her own.

By the time you blinked they were kissing, his large hands smoothing over the curve of her ass, her fingers tangled in his hair. You felt a pang to your chest, and you had no right to feel jealous, you knew that, but it still hurt seeing him with other people.

You caught his eye when he finally pulled away from the girl, a sly look on his face as he wiggled his fingers at you in a wave. You rolled your eyes as you left the poor guy on the dancefloor, marching into the kitchen with Steve trailing behind you.

Cause you don’t seem to like it when we talk

Pouring yourself another drink, Steve leant beside you on the counter as you did, “Didn’t know you were coming tonight.” He said with a shrug.

“Came with Munson.” You replied, taking a sip, eyes boring into Steve’s big brown ones over the rim of the plastic cup.

Steve scoffed at that, taking the cup from your hand and taking a sip of his own, “What, you fucking Eddie now?”

“I think you know the answer to that, Steve.” You snarked at him, snatching your drink back from his hand.

“Shouldn’t you be getting back to that girl anyway? The pretty one?” You said, shooting him a coy look. Your finger poking at his firm chest.

“Nah,” he shrugged, “wasn’t really that into her.” Steve let his fingers wander up your bare arm, brushing against your goose pimpled skin, moving to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“No?” You questioned, “Or you just didn’t wanna tell her that you still fuck your ex? Hm, Harrington?”

Steve chuckled, the kind of laugh that kept you on your toes, the kind that had you eager to find out what else he had in store for you.

“Wasn’t as pretty as you.” Was all he said, leaning in closer to you, his breath fanning across your cheeks. His hands now sitting pretty on your waist.

“Yeah? Then why’d you break up with me, Steve?” He pulled away from you, hands still clutching your waist, a subtle frown tugging at his lips. “That’s right, I remember,” you rolled your eyes, a playful, yet hurt tone lacing your voice, “we don’t talk when something’s wrong.”

Steve rolled his eyes, a smirk painting his face as he shook his head, eyes lowering to the floor, “Talking’s boring, much prefer seeing you on your knees with your mouth open,” Steve spoke quietly, lips against your ear, “I’ll see you later, yeah?” He breathed against your lips, your eyes fluttering closed as the close proximity, his lips finally pressing to yours in a soft kiss.

We can fuck about it later, if you want

I’ll see you later. The words rang in your ears yet they were always true. You would always end up here. Back pressed up against Steve’s bedroom wall, legs wrapped around his waist, his lips hot on your neck.

Your shirt hanging off a lamp somewhere in his room, your skirt pushed high up your hips. Your fingers were in Steve’s unruly hair, tugging on the soft strands. He groaned into your neck at the gesture, teeth nipping at your skin.

“Why do we— fuck,” you moaned, “why do we always end up here, Steve?” Your head rolled back against the wall, mouth hanging agape as Steve began to move his lips south, mouthing at the skin spilling out of the cups of your bra.

“Don’t act like you don’t love it, sweetheart,” he cooed, fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs, “you don’t wanna get fucked, huh? Got someone else, is that it, baby?”

You laughed cynically, the sound pulling the boy out of the trance your tits induced him in, “You know I haven’t, Steve.”

“That’s the right answer,” Steve let his lips ghost over yours, exhaling into your mouth, “good girl.”

A whimper squeaked from your throat, skin hot and arousal pooling at your core. You gnawed on your bottom lip as Steve began to grind his crotch into you, his bulge pressing into where you needed him.

“Why? Would you be jealous if there was, Harrington?” You breathed with a smirk, eyes rolling to the back of your head as Steve sucked harshly on your nipple through the lace of your bra.

“No,” he grunted, face buried in your chest, “just hope you know who this pussy belongs to.”

He moved you to the bed now, setting you down on the sheets as he bowed to his knees on the floor. Flipping the pleats of your skirt up your stomach, Steve’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of the little damp patch on your pink cotton panties. He swallowed thickly as he leaned in closer, pressing a small kiss followed by a lick of his tongue to your covered cunt.

“Fuck.” You whined.

Steve loved to tease. Thrived for it, rather. Lived for the way you would ramble on, strung out moans trembling from your lips, begging for him to do something, anything. He loved the way your eyes would go all hazy, a little glassy, lips red from how hard you had to bite down on them.

You whimpered and whined and Steve continued to lick and suck at you over your panties, the material now surely soaked. It was all so hot and dirty, your legs shaking either side of Steve’s head, his large palms holding your soft thighs in place.

He groaned into your cunt, slender fingers finally pulling the cotton to the side, Steve’s skilled tongue finally making contact with your dripping pussy. You moaned loudly at the gesture, your fingers flying to his hair, tugging on the soft strands.

Steve chuckled as he pulled away, replacing his tongue with his fingers as he plunged two digits into your hole, pumping them in and out.

“Oh, you like that, huh?” Steve cooed mockingly, lips wrapping around your clit, sucking harshly on the bud. His fingers picked up the pace, curling and hitting that spot with every stroke. The sound of Steve’s fingers fucking in and out of your wetness mixed in with your strangled moans the only sound bouncing off the walls of Steve’s bedroom.

“Oh, fuckfuckfuck,” you cried, hips bucking off the mattress, trying to meet the thrusts of Steve’s fingers, “don’t stop, please don’t stop.”

“Hmm,” Steve pondered, eyebrows pinched together as his thumb rubbed at your clit, “I think only good girls get to cum, no?” His fingers never relented as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, your hands now fisting the sheets.

“Steve, please,” you breathed, eyes glassy and pleading as you looked down at the boy happily situated between your legs, a cruel smirk donning his lips.

“Y’gonna be good? Tell me who this pussy belongs to?” Steve quipped, eyes fixated on where his fingers were disappearing in and out of you.

“Yes– fuck! I’ll be good,” you moaned, back arching off the bed, on the cusp of your orgasm, one more stroke of Steve’s fingers, one more filthy word and you’d be a goner.

“What else?” Steve asked, matter of factly, desperately trying to ignore how his cock was straining against his jeans, fingers beginning to slow.

“Please,” you whined, eyes screwing together tightly, “yours! It’s yours, Steve.”

“Atta girl,” he cooed, Steve’s fingers picking up their pace once more. His lips wrapping around your clit, one hand clasping the sheets, the other hand found its way into Steve’s hair, tugging on the locks.

“Y’wanna cum, pretty?” He asked, fingers curling, tongue lapping at your throbbing nub.

Steve always found it so easy to switch, cruel and teasing in the build up but always found himself spilling pet names and praise when you were on the verge.

“Come on, I know you wanna cum. Think you can do that for me, sweet girl?”

“Oh,” you moaned, back arching, hips bucking up off the mattress, essentially grinding your pussy against Steve’s mouth, “right there, Steve, Jesus, ‘m gonna—“

Stars. Bright white stars circling your vision. Skin hot and clammy, every muscle in your body tense and trembling. You cried out the boy’s name as you came, chest panting and gasping for air.

“Fuck,” Steve groaned, totally in awe of your spent form before him. pussy and thighs soaked, dripping onto the sheets beneath you.

He pressed a sweet kiss to your thigh as you came down from your high, leaning back on his heels as he worked to unbuckle his belt. Steve rid himself of his jeans and boxers as quick as he could, hands smoothing their way up your body.

“Roll over for me, doll,” Steve whispered against your chest, “need to get my cock inside that pretty pussy, that okay?”

Your breath hitched in your throat at his words, scrambling to your elbows as you rolled over and propped yourself up on the bed. You heard Steve rip open a foil wrapper before spitting into his palm from behind you, a quiet groan tumbling from his soft lips as he lubed himself up.

You felt his large hand grip your hip, the other wrapped around his cock, the tip swiping through your folds. You whimpered at the motion, desperate to have him buried inside you to the hilt. Steve chuckled at your reaction, a smirk donning his features as he pressed his cock into your entrance.

You cried out in pleasure at the feeling, Steve halting his movements, “Oh, what’s wrong baby?” He teased, hand stroking over the curve of your ass, “My cock too big for this little pussy, hm?”

You buried your face in the sheets, hands clawing at the material as Steve’s cock stretched you out. You mumbled something that resembled a ‘no’ into the sheets in response to the boy, eyes squeezed tightly as he thrust into you inch by inch.

“That’s my girl,” he cooed, “cause you’re gonna take it anyway, right?”

You tried to ignore the feeling in your stomach, the butterflies that flew from your gut to your heart as those words left Steve’s mouth, or rather your ex-boyfriend’s mouth. It was bitter sweet, those words sent a shiver down your spine and a flutter to your pussy. But all but reminded you that you weren’t his girl and it was strictly his cock talking.

Steve’s palm came down against your ass as he picked up the pace, his thrusts slow and deep, his hips slapping against you with every move. You wished you could see him right now, you knew he’d look so blissful. Head thrown back in pleasure, hair a tousled mess, lips parted and cheeks flushed pink.

You moaned loudly as Steve’s thrusts grew harsher, thick fingers digging into the flesh of your hips, tips pressing in hard, surely leaving pretty bruises for the morning. Next you knew he was towering over you, lips on your shoulder blades, his arms finding their way around your front, his hand cupping your cheek.

Steve’s mouth found your ear, teeth nipping at your earlobe before he spoke, “Pussy feels so good, and it’s all for me, yeah?” Steve whispered as his kisses found your neck, “Aren’t I the luckiest guy in the whole world.”

“Steve,” you moaned, craning your neck in a desperate attempt to catch his lips with your own. Failing miserably as Steve began to thrust faster, the frame of his bed shaking with every movement, his hips snapping against your ass.

“Fuck,” you whined instead, a strangled moan that was hiding at the back of your throat. Much smaller fingers curling around his own beside your head, your eyes fluttering closed as you tried to ignore the pressure building in your lower stomach.

Steve’s thrusts never relented, not for one second, cock fucking in and out of your sopping hole, the sounds of your wetness filling the room. His voice was gruff and raspy every time he spoke and it just turned you on more, you were sure the sheets were drenched.

“What’s the matter, pretty girl?” He asked, Steve’s skin clammy against your back, his chest hair prickling your skin, “Does it feel too good? You like when I fuck you like it’s gonna be the last time?”

Ex-boyfriend Steve Harrington was always a little bit of an asshole during your hookup encounters. Always a little too cocky, a tad too confident. That was clear when your brain regained full clarity. It would never be the last time though, you both knew that, always trying your hardest to stay single so you could fall into each other’s beds as soon as the clock hit midnight.

“Yes,” you whined, “yes, God—, I love it when you fuck me like this, Stevie.”

The boy moaned in response, low and rough. One hand slithered down the side of your body, inching closer to your clit. “Can’t get enough of you,” he started, fingers stroking over the nub as you hiked up your hips to allow him better access, “can’t get enough of this pussy.”

You could only moan out his name, all coherent thoughts out the window as he began to rub at your clit. That combined with his hard and deep thrusts were bringing you closer to the edge. You knew Steve was close too, his thrusts growing sloppy, his moans getting longer and louder were all tell tale signs.

“Wanna cum, Steve,” you breathed, “please?” You were never shy to beg when it came to Steve. You knew he loved it, and you always liked to please.

“Yeah? Wanna cum all over my cock?” He asked, fingers picking up their pace, “wanna make a mess together?”

Steve knew he couldn’t last much longer, your pussy felt too good, your moans too sweet to his ears. As soon as you moaned out a pleading ‘please’ from beneath, he was relentless.

Fingers rubbing at your clit, cock fucking in and out of you at lightning pace, the boy working fast to get you both to orgasm. You soon felt the metaphorical tether snap, your body became hot and clammy as you saw stars. Vision white hot as you cried out Steve’s name, fingernails leaving sweet crescent shapes in his hands.

Steve wasn’t far behind you, all the muscles in his body tensing as his toes curled in the carpet. Hot cum releasing from his cock as he came undone, “Oh,” he groaned, “fuckfuckfuck,” he chanted. He chest heaving against your back as you both collapsed on the bed.

The boy huffed a laugh as he came down from his high, pulling himself from you with a hiss. He rid himself of the condom as he disappeared to the bathroom.

He’d put you both to bed, in a t-shirt that wasn’t your own, where you’d try your best to fall asleep, trying not to think about the unresolved feelings you still had for one another.

And then you’d wake the next morning, and torture each other all over again like nothing would ever change.

#steve harrington #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington y/n #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington oneshot #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things smut #k.fic #Spotify

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broshot · 1 year

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Can I request gojo satoru and kaito with a depressed reader?

And they have an argument an the boys accidentally says something mean at their s/o

So the reader thinks that they are a burden for them so they write a goodbye letter ,u know what I mean, and the boys finds it when they want to apologise, u can decide if it can end bad or happy with fluff

a/n: hii! thank you for the request! I don't know like anything about kaito so I'm not going to write for them, I hope that's okay♡ I hope you like this! and my rule for hurt fics is to always finish hurt w comfort :D (I can't handle angst)

cw/tw: hurt/comfort (angst to fluff), sensitive topics kind of, crying, gn!reader, making up after an argument,

english isn't my first language so I apologise for bad writing

♡♡♡

arguments with gojo satoru were heated, the constant bickering went on for hours and hours and he could be a real asshole when he wanted to.

the current argument had already been going on for a few hours and you could see no end to it. it all started when gojo got home, he had a hard day and was looking forward to spend the evening with you.

but when he got home, he couldn't see you anywhere. he walked around the house a bit before finding you laying on your couch, sleeping. he was upset, he thought you'd make him dinner.

so when he woke you up, you could smell an argument incoming.

"it's not my fault you're so goddamn lazy, (name)! you never do anything for me, god, it seems like I'm the only one who actually cares." he spits out.

"I care! and I do a lot for you, you just don't-"

"it's all my fault? you know, if you didn't want to be with me you could've just said that. you don't even try! you're so hard to deal with."

"satoru you don't get it! I'm trying, I really am, I'm doing my best!"

"well you're not doing enough!" he yells before storming off. you can hear him taking his keys and jacket, then the door opening and closing.

you process it for a while before you feel tears threatening to get out of your eyes. and you let them.

this was not your loving boyfriend. the man who you just argued with was so different from your gojo satoru. your gojo satoru understood you, he helped you. your gojo satoru would never yell at you nor blame you for not being able to do the same things other people do.

were you really that hard to deal with? so hard to deal with that he forgot all about your struggles? you didn't like the fact that you struggled, even less when it was with daily situations. your boyfriend had been understanding of you so what changed now?

you walk to your room, taking a piece of paper and a pen and begin writing a letter. if he thought you were hard to deal with, you would make it easier for him and leave.

you set your letter on the kitchen and go back to your room. you take a bag out of the closet, messily putting some of your stuff in it.

gojo comes back home exactly 7 minutes after you left. he calls out your name, hoping you'd answer and maybe come greet him even though you two had argued.

but you don't answer him. he's frustrated but he wants to find you and talk it out.

he walks into your shared bedroom and he feels his chest tighten as he sees the messy state of the room, seeing most of your things gone. he shakes the uneasy feeling off. maybe you were just renovating the room.

but as he searches more of the house, he sees more of your stuff gone. he walks to your bathroom and he sees your towel gone. he rushes to the living room and notices your books being nowhere to be seen. panic is taking over him now. you could have not, you wouldn't leave him, he thinks.

he runs to the kitchen. it looks awfully clean and untouched compared to the other parts of the house. the bouquet of roses he got you a few days ago had a piece of paper next to it.

he quickly takes the paper in his hands, scanning through the writing. he recognizes your handwriting. the ink is mixed on some parts of the paper and he's not stupid, he knows you cried while writing it. he starts reading it.

"dear satoru, I'm sorry for our argument. I should've noticed how much of a burden I was for you. I'm sorry to have forced you to stay with me."

he panics more. he didn't mean what he said but he knows you're not like him. and god, you never forced him to stay with you. he stayed because he loves you.

the letter continues:

"I never wanted to make you feel like this and I'm sorry to have done it. I've decided to end your suffering of dealing with me. thank you for everything, with love: (name)"

he doesn't believe himself. how could he have made you feel like this? he doesn't see you as a burden, hell, he thinks he is the burden. you've never actually made him feel that way.

he feels guilt sting his chest. he needs to find you and apologize to you. so he runs back to the door and puts his shoes on.

he's been looking for you for hours. anyone else would've stopped already, it's getting late and dark and it's raining a bit.

but he doesn't care about any of that, he needs to find you.

he gets close to a familiar park and decides to run through. it was the park where he confessed his feelings towards you. he doesn't know how, but suddenly he is in front of you. you are sitting on the park bench; the bench where he confessed to you on.

it's raining but he could see your tear stained face. and you aren't wearing the warmest clothes there is either; just a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

he takes his jacket off and wraps it around you before he kneels down and looks into your teary eyes. he doesn't know where to start.

"(name) I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean any of the things I said. I don't know why I said them but I shouldn't have because I don't actually think the way I said.

I know you try. you're doing so well, I'm really proud of you and I really didn't mean when I said that you're not doing enough. you are doing so much more than enough. you're not hard to deal with, you're the best that's ever happened to me." he rambles.

you look at him and sigh. "I don't know, satoru. you really hurt me. I thought you wanted me to leave-"

"absolutely not, (name), I love you. I don't want you to leave, never."

you're quiet and he extends his arms, asking you to hug him. he's looking at you with a sad smile, trying to show that he really is serious right now.

you're still mad at him but you need comfort too, so you rush into his arms. he wraps his arms tightly around you and rubs comforting circles on your back.

"there." he whispers into your hair. "I love you."

"I love you too, satoru, even though you're an idiot sometimes." you say with a soft smile.

he laughs. "you want some ice cream? my treat, of course. I'll buy you the whole store if you want, I'd do anything for you.

♡♡♡

I don't really like this but I hope you enjoy it anyway skjfhdsjfh

MASTERLIST

#gojo x reader angst #gojo x reader fluff #gojou satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen gojo #satoru gojo #gojo satoru x reader #gojo angst #gojo fluff #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru smut #gojou satoru x y/n #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen satoru #gojo x you #gojo x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo x y/n

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blaithnne · 3 months

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I think my one complaint about Anders is that I wish we’d seen him leave of his own accord at least once. Unfortunately I doubt that would be possible due to time constraints but, I think if we’d gotten to see how Hilda was affected by him actually leaving and not being fairynapped it would have better shown what kind of person he is, and been a really good representation of what a lot of real kids go through. That moment where Hilda finally realised her Father abandoned her is so heartbreaking, raw, and real, and the fact that it’s later revealed he didn’t kind of undermines that.

I’m not against Anders changing for the better - it’s a kids show, and it makes sense they’d want to give him a character arch instead of just introducing him to be a dick lol. It also makes sense for his character to have nearly losing his entire family forever be a wake up call for him. But I wish we’d gotten more time with him, and really seen the effects of him leaving for real. Without that, we can generally assume that it had the same effect as him being kidnapped did in canon, but it’s just not the same.

I’m of the opinion that introducing Hilda’s dad as a concept was a good decision, and I don’t think it undermines the shows found family. It gives Hilda a relatable and realistic aspect to her that I think is important for kids in similar situations to see. I am, however, very biased in that regard.

My biological father was an asshole who fucked off before I was born, but I’ve had no absence of family or fatherly role models - I’m very close with my adoptive dad and my grandad. But that didn’t mean I never had questions, or insecurities.

It’s easy to look at fictional tropes and say that found family is clearly superior and biology doesn’t mean shit, and that’s true! But when you’re living in that reality, when you’re young and coming to terms with it for the first time, it’s hard. Especially when you’re surrounded by people who all have blood relations with their families, and when the person you’re related to is regarded as a dick. it really makes you feel isolated and like there’s something wrong with you, like you’re an outsider — you’re different.

Real life people are messy and have insecurities that defy reason, you might logically know that biology doesn’t matter, but when you’re thirteen and insecure and full of inner turmoil, you can’t help but feel bad.

Personally, as I got older, I met people in similar situations and realised I wasn’t alone, that it was okay to have those feelings but it didn’t make them true. But at that age, having grown up in a rural community, I really was alone.

Hilda’s insecurities in season 3 are a great representation of that, she feels like she’s never had a proper family, this thing with Frida, David, Tontu, Alfur and Johanna and Astrid is all new to her. You can tell her Father’s absence has hurt her, how she’s felt different and alone and like something was missing. Hilda defines her worth through her relationships with others, how she can help them make them happy, it destroyed her when she felt like she failed Frida, imagine how she feels about her father.

What I think season 3 was missing was for Hilda to realise that she doesn’t need Anders, and that her happiness isn’t reliant on him being there, I wish she’d had a tad more agency in the relationship, yk? She wants him to be in her life, and he’s going to make an effort now to do that, but she has a support system in place and will be perfectly fine without him. I wish the show had properly acknowledged that just because this is how things ended up, it wasn’t the only option — with or without Anders, Hilda would still have been happy with her family in the end, the fact that he’s a part of it is a nice bonus, but not an essential one.

In general, I think Anders is the best they could do with the time they were given. Having him be a realistic shitty dad who loves his daughter but is just so bad at it is relatable and realistic, though I wish they’d better emphasised that just because he loves hers that doesn’t make his actions okay (perhaps by slightly altering Johanna’s moment with Hilda at the end of The Job), because it’s clear, I think, as a diehard fan, but might not be for more casual viewers.

Having him be redeemable and stick around to do better is a good conclusion for his arch, it’s a happy ending all around and makes sense for the story - it could’ve been weird if they just had him show up and then immediately leave with zero resolution to his character, unless they made him an all out irredeemable abuser, which I think would’ve been worse than what we got. Portraying abusers as unforgivable and cartoonish villains only makes it harder for real life victims to recognise their situations, so if it couldn’t be portrayed properly (which thanks to time constraints and the overall narrative I don’t believe it could be) I’m glad they went with something else.

What we’ve got is, and I know I’ve said this many times lol, a realistic depiction of a crappy, absentee father, that young viewers can recognise and relate to. On that end, the biggest issues are Hilda’s lack of agency within their storyline, since she has no control in the resolution of their relationship, young people looking to this show for ways to cope with their own situations might be discouraged by the end resolution of “he decided to stick around”, since that resolution rests on his decision, not Hilda’s, if that makes sense.

TLDR; Overall, I think Anders’ was a good character and the best that could’ve been done with what the team was given, but,

A) I wish we’d gotten to see him leave of his own accord at least once, so that Hilda’s final realisation that he left her on purpose has more impact and doesn’t loose its meaning in retrospect, and,

B) That Hilda had more agency in the final resolution of their dynamic, that their happily ever after wasn’t entirely reliant on Anders swearing he won’t leave. An alternative solution, maybe presented earlier on in the season when he first left, that provided her with a coping mechanism/outlet in case he does, so that her happiness and mental health isn’t in his hands, would’ve been pretty neat.

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winchester-books · 2 years

Text

Eye for an Eye

based on: outer banks

characters: jj x reader, past john b x reader, kie

warnings: messy breakup, language

w/c: 1.7k

summary: When things between you and John B end bitterly, you’re surprised to find JJ of all people taking your side... and suggesting revenge.

To say you were pissed would be an understatement. Your relationship with John B had ended in nothing short of disaster. You’d caught him gawking at Sarah Cameron one too many times and had finally lost it when you saw him scrolling through her instagram profile while he had his arm wrapped around you on the couch.

“Are you kidding me right now?”

He quickly swiped out of the app, rolling his eyes like you were the one being ridiculous for calling him out, “What now Y/N?” he huffed, letting his arm fall off your shoulder, “Am I not allowed to see what other people are posting?”

“Sarah Cameron… really?” you gave him an incredulous look, “I’m literally sitting right here,”

“Don’t be so dramatic Y/N, it’s just instagram,” he brushed you off.

You scoffed at him, “You’re an asshole-”

“You’re gonna sit there and tell me you don’t look at other dudes?” He snapped, raising his eyebrows.

“You’re seriously going to flip this on me right now?” you shook your head, “You’ve been staring at Sarah for weeks, I’ve bit my tongue and not said a word… I convinced myself it didn’t mean anything- but that’s such bullshit,”

John B stood up from the couch, running his hands through his hair, “You’re being ridiculous, I-”

“It’s like I don’t even exist to you anymore,” you stood up and faced him, glaring at him as you spoke, “How about you grow up and break up with me so you can be with her since she’s all you can think about,”

“Y/N, cut it out okay?” He exhaled sharply out of his nose, rolling his eyes, “You’re overreacting-”

“You can’t even spend time with me! You’re staring at her pictures with your arm around me- your girlfriend!” You dropped your arms in exasperation, searching his eyes for any sign of remorse and coming up empty.

“What do you want me to say?” he snapped, looking down at you, “Yeah she’s hot- it’s not a fucking crime for me to think that! I didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just a stupid picture- get over it,”

“Get over it?” you blinked at him, your feelings of hurt and anger apparent on your face. “Screw you,” you finally managed, blinking away the tears that were beginning to form.

“You think I don’t see you entertaining all the tourons who eye you? You’ve done the same thing, if not worse.”

Your hands clenched into fists as he twisted the situation so you were in the wrong. The John B you fell in love with and dated for nearly a year was not the manipulative asshole standing in front of you right now.

“I think you should go,” you said lowly,walking over and opening the door.

“Oh, so now you’re done talking, huh?” He rolled his eyes, “You’re gonna sit there and blame me, but the second I mention that you're in the wrong you’re done?”

You bit your tongue, refusing to engage with him anymore and let him paint you as the villain. “Leave, John B,” you repeated, ignoring the tears welling in your eyes as he walked toward the door.

He brushed past you, mumbling something about you calling him when you were done being a bitch.

“You know what?” you narrowed your eyes as he glanced back at you from the porch, “ I’ll save you the trouble of breaking up with me since you’re too much of an asshole to do it yourself- we’re done.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but you were already slamming the door in his face.

Now, you found yourself tossing back shots of Vodka, indifferent to the burn each one sent down your throat. Kie had practically dragged you out of the house, going on and on about how going out would make you feel better and pick up your spirits.

It had been one week of you shut up in your house, at first you had been wallowing in self pity and regrets. Then, you received a text from Kie that caught your eye, and you simply couldn’t ignore like the dozens of others she had sent.

“y/n. i’m sorry but i have to ask. is it true? did you actually cheat on him??”

You had stared at the text for a while, your sadness and self-pity quickly shifting to anger. He had been obsessed with Sarah for weeks and now he had the audacity to go around saying that you had cheated on him? You were fuming. Fortunately, Kie had taken your side right away.

Going out might have actually been good for you- if you hadn’t walked into the party to see John B twirling Sarah in the sand as they danced together.

It had barely been a week.

You were hurt. Heartbroken and embarrassed that you’d loved him as much as you did. Angry that a piece of you still managed to want him back even as you watched him move on so quickly.

Alcohol was an easy answer to your problems, even if it was only temporary.

“Easy there, Y/N,” You turned to see JJ eyeing you as you set down your shot glass. “Trying to finish the whole handle alone?”

“Maybe,” you brushed him off, pouring yourself another, only stopping when you felt JJ nearly pressed up against your back from behind you.

“Mind sharing?”

“So, you don’t hate me?” You asked, pouring him one as well and handing it to him.

“Hate you?” he shook his head, his brows creasing, “Why would I hate you?”

“Well, John B’s managed to tell the whole fucking island that I cheated on him. You’re his best friend- I kinda assumed you’d be jumping on the ‘screw Y/N’ bandwagon,”

“Ouch,” he joked, “I thought you knew me better than that- since when have I been one to just follow everyone else?” he held out his blunt to you, silently asking if you wanted a hit. You happily obliged. “I didn’t believe him,” he said with a shrug.

“Really?” You widened your eyes, feeling a wave of relief that not everyone fell for John B’s lies, “Good… because it's complete bullshit,” Your gaze shifted toward John B and Sarah who were still dancing together.

JJ noticed you were staring. “I told him he’s a dick for that,” he piped up, nodding toward the two. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him, but he’s been a total asshole to you. I’m sorry,” he offered you a small smile, grabbing the joint back and inhaling, “Sarah’s just gonna break his heart like she does to every other guy she dates,”

“Good.”

“Yeah, he deserves it,”

You frowed, surprised that he was agreeing with you, “So much for being his best friend,” you joked.

He only shrugged, “We aren’t talking right now,” he said simply, “I told him he needs to get his shit together- usually I’m the one that makes bad decisions, but letting things end with you? That’s a mistake I’d never make,”

You weren’t sure what to make of that. You wouldn’t lie, thoughts of JJ had always crossed your mind- but he was supposed to be John B’s best friend, didn’t that make you off limits?

“Shot?” JJ spoke up before you had the chance to say anything back, and you were grateful. Nodding, you grabbed your glass and tapped it to his, “Fuck Sarah Cameron,”

You grinned at his words, “Fuck Sarah Cameron,” you repeated, downing the liquid.

God knows how much you had to drink.

You and JJ had really taken on the challenge of finishing the entire handle of Vodka. Deep down you knew you’d be feeling it tomorrow, but you couldn’t care less. For the first time in days John B was the furthest thing from your mind.

You and JJ had always gotten along well, he was funny and charming- and attractive. What was there not to like? But things were different between you now. He was touchier, and this time, his flirty comments felt like they carried more weight than normal… Not that you were complaining.

JJ’s hand was laced in yours, the two of you laughing about something as he practically dragged you down the beach towards the water. The two of you plopped down into the sand, his hand landing on your thigh as he pulled you closer to him.

JJ took a hit, blowing smoke into your face and flashing you a smile. He lifted the blunt to your lips and you inhaled, letting your fingers rest on his for a moment as you took the joint from him.

He flopped backward into the sand, staring up at the stars and drowning out the blaring music coming from behind you as he listened to the waves crash, “This is amazing,” he breathed out, “Why the hell haven’t we done this before,”

You laid down beside him, “Because… my boyfriend was an insecure little bitch,” you laughed, your words flying freely in your intoxicated state, “God- if we’d ever done this before he’d probably be telling everyone I cheated on him with you,”

JJ sat up suddenly, a grin plastered across his face, “Oh my God, Y/N you’re a genius!” You eyed him from your spot in the sand. “John B is an asshole,”

You nodded, “Tell me something I don’t know,”

“He treated you like shit. And now he’s lying to everyone and saying you’re the bad guy, when it was literally just him being a dick-”

“Okay, what are you getting at here?” You sat up, not really enjoying listening to him recount the hell that you had been living.

He shrugged, “Let’s return the favor,”

You tilted your head, silently questioning what he meant.

“Well…” he glanced back to the beach, “He’s already hooking up with Sarah, right? I say an “eye for an eye,” You gotta hook up with someone to get back at him,”

“You volunteering?”

Your words were merely a joke, but JJ was quickly nodding, “Who better to hook up with than his best friend?”

“I...” you closed your mouth, blinking at him. You couldn’t lie, it wasn’t a bad idea. It got you the justified revenge on John B, and it’s not like you weren’t excited at the thought of hooking up with the blonde sitting next to you.

“I’m definitely not opposed…” JJ added, cocky smile on his lips when he saw you contemplating it.

You bit your lip, undecided. This could get messy- really messy. Thinking about Kie alone finding out made you question if this would be worth it. But he was hot… so hot. And clearly into you. And hell, John B had been awful to you, who could blame you for wanting to get some revenge?

“You better be a good kisser…”

JJ’s smik grew, “Oh, sweetheart, I’m the best,”

#jj maybank #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader #outer banks imagine #outer banks x reader

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opuestocomplementario · 2 years

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Prapai’ character and the oversight

After EP9, we got to see more about Pai’ character and also more about Sky's past. The acting was phenomenal, from both Peat and Fort. Especially the little eye contact and the touches between them. It felt really well delivered. But, what caught my attention the most was how different Prapai approached Sky in the EP8 and how he does it now.

In EP8, Prai put his arm around Sky when he first saw him. He covered him up and was directing him into the place where Pai wanted to talk with Sky. He was in control of the entire situation: mentally, physical and also powerful. He was allowed there, while Sky was an intruder. The whole punching the wall besides Sky felt more weird than expected because It wasn’t really necessary considering the body language of Sky: Pai didn’t need to show strength physically to intimidate him, so I want to believe this was super random. Also because Sky already gave him the “take what you want”, so he was already willingly and inferior to him.

The sex scene in EP8 shows something to. When Sky is laying down, Pai goes and says something along the lines of “the night just begun” or something, and Sky looks at him sad. I don’t know how Fort can switch so quickly. He looks super confident in one moment and sassy and then looks completely surprised by the actions of Sky. Even in the dark we can see Sky’s actions surprised Pai: he wasn’t expecting that look.

After this night, Pai develops some kind of attraction to Sky that goes beyond physical. And this is something I want to talk about. In EP9, Pai also says to Sky that he likes him even in normal clothes with puffy eyes and messy hair. And while I think the outfit Sky wore in the race was beautiful and really pretty, it wasn’t flashy, or a night gal; he was also wearing something normal, nothing out of ordinary, and still caught Pai’s eyes. Like I don’t want to say that Pai is not a superficial asshole, because he obviously is. But a lot of his behaviour with Sky is telling me he doesn’t just find him pretty, but also interesting and something makes him worried.

Rain and Payu also had this thing, where one of them didn’t know why he was trying so hard to get the attention of the other and didn’t know if like him or not. Rain was having mixed feelings toward Payu and it took him a while to admit that he did like him more in a romantic and physical setting. Pai is having this too. He likes Sky physically, but there’s something there that bugs him to know him more.

Pai is not just a mean and evil person. He is not after Sky because he likes to bother him and make his life insufferable. Pai doesn’t know what happened to Sky. He doesn’t know exactly what happened to him. He is starting to realise some things he said and do trigger something in him but he is still very naive in what exactly does that to Sky.

The siblings and Payu know that this chase of Pai with Sky is not something to be worried about in the sense that Pai is going to hurt the other. They don’t get in his way, because they know, initially, this is all an innocent game of a man who feels his emotions too strong. Payu is a character that knows the wrongs and the goods of his friend and when Rain said to him that Pai is after Sky he doesn’t worry like Rain because he knows him. I feel like this conception of Pai being an asshole is more about the talking of people around him than himself. Like, we just know Pai is a playboy, and he is flirty, but we haven’t had any situation where he is an asshole with his conquests or he is mean to them.

I feel like Sky also understands that the chase of Pai is a game, or a waste of time, mainly because he doesn’t want to get hurt again. Which is also shown in his breakdown about Pai texting him. The thing about the texting that stood out to me was the type of texting Pai was sending. Lines along the “please eat”, “how is the reunion going”, “how are you”. They are genuine questions about Sky as a person and what he does. He wants to get him know better and wants to let Sky know that he can have an interesting from him that is not sexual. I think it is overwhelming to Sky because he wants to stop feeling anything, and Pai is not helping. Sky wants to go to school, eat, sleep, read and repeat. I think it is more the fact that many insecure people have when they have someone wanting to talk to them and wanting to get to know them better. Is also overwhelming when someone is “courting” you after a whole year of not having anything romantically or sexually. You don’t know what to do.

I talked before about the scene in EP8 where Pai wants to start over with Sky. Even if the circumstances of their meeting was awful (asking for sex to let the other go), if they were in other setting, I will still believe Pai would want Sky.

Okay, back to the start. Body language. So, in EP8, Pai's body language with Sky was all about covering him up and touching every part of him that he wanted. In EP9, while he tries to grab him and Sky let him, he also realises how Sky reacts to them (him touching his face in the street, him touching Sky leg in the table and my favourite: when Sky was eating you can see Pai hands close to the plate and to Sky hands, but Sky avert him and we see Pai face fall of disappoint). When Sky got sick, Pai instead of doing what he wanted like hugging or touching, he asked what Sky wanted, because he knew the type of reaction the guy was having when he initiated without noticing.

While I do understand the approach of Pai is overwhelming and can be annoying, are we forgetting this was also Rain's strategy to win Payu? He went to the garage 30 DAYS IN A ROW, trying to see Payu, and just because we knew Payu like him doesn't forget the overwhelming factor.

Anyway, I feel like Pai is one of those characters where they need to prove themselves constantly because of their reputation and they need to work to fight this said reputation in order to win someone. But I also feel like everything that we talk about in these first episodes would not do the entire story justice. Like, I don’t like to talk about the things while they are in the process of making because I feel like I am going to definitely underestimate the result and I would build my expectations and that’s not fair.

Idk, watching something on air and talking about it is so weird. I want the whole picture nowwwww.

#thai drama #bl drama #love in the air the series #sky love in the air #love in the air EP9 #prapai x sky #prapaisky #im reading too much into it but im so down for this couple #the acting is amazing #the expectations are being match #fort thitipong #peat wasuthorn #character analysis

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everyday-is-brighter-with-you · 1 year

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Koisenu Futari Ep 1 ( SPOILERS)

Yes, I watched the first episode!!

Wow! It's so good, and silly, I want to continue it. Granted I don't have a lot of exposure to LGBT media like this so I get easily excited, but still.

The humor is pretty good and floats with the lighthearted setting. Honestly being used to Indian TV shows, the subtleties of this Japanese one is surprising at times. No dramatic music ? No music AT ALL in one scene? Woah Bob!!!! Still, I feel the TV show element of it but the way it's understated also goes well with the tone. Must say this is the first Japanese live action TV show I'm watching of this nature, so I'm not entirely familiar to make internal genre comparisons, this is more of first impressions. In general, while it picks up heavy topics, it managed to balance with the light tone and order-of-events-happening. I didn't feel awkward about it even once so far.

Speaking of, WOW, I feel like you can tell whoever wrote this is very sympathetic and sensitive to the community they're trying to show. It just feels natural. And so many things they touched-- the feeling of your peers moving on ahead while you're in crisis about your own life, not feeling like a complete person, the talk about marriage, not wanting to be assumed to be living a life alone, etc....Admittedly I'm not very familiar with the aromantic community either, but from the time I'm in the asexual one( which these characters are as well), I recognize these deep-rooted concerns. I like how they actually show it seriously, Sakuko is feeling there is something fundamentally wrong with her.

And of course...the joy when she finds another person like her!!! 🥲( single tear emoji)

Let me backtrack a bit before we get there. There's a subplot with Sakuko( one of our MCs, a cheery woman who works on the upper rungs of a departmental store) and her high school friend Chizuru. I like how the characterization worked there, with Chizuru. She wasn't an asshole or anything, infact their friendship is so good she is willing to move in with Sakuko in a new apartment. But another life event occurs which unfortunately results in her leaving Sakuko behind with hurt feelings on both sides. I think it's a good example of a situation where life just...happens and things getting messy in a way you didn't think. Also people with good intentions giving them out in the wrong way. It gives a realistic feeling.

I don't want this to be Super Long, actually I start out with a lot of detail usually and then I cut down, that's how I write in my diary and I don't have like a lot of thoughts yet anyway. Just the first episode, everyone.

So I'll cut back to the other guy who is like her. He's an older man, Takahashi, which I'm getting is his last name actually ( but I'll address him as such until Sakuko changes her terms of address cuz I got used to that RN) and he arranges the vegetables in their store. He seems to have an affinity for cabbages and works with them, he's very blunt but quick to apologize as well. I like how both of them seem socially awkward in some way to me X) (X face with smile emote )

He also runs a blog which seems duel general-lifestyle talk and also thoughts about being aroace. Through this, the MCs have a definite meeting outside previous encounters.

Love the distilled kindness in the last scene here. And the setting! A very personable house his looked like, full of trinkets, a bit cramped. The way he said that whatever someone's sexuality is, not wanting to be alone isn't anything selfish. Her asking him if he can be her family without love! She's just so sjjsjsksksk. Genuine. It was sweeter than honey I might say. The teasers for the next episode were cheesy as hell and I'm looking forward to it haaha

Additional thoughts: Sakuko's sense of dress is very cozy. All cardigans and big pants and such.

For some reason the whole episode felt a touch off with the pacing, but maybe that's just me. Episode's gotta end on something to keep you waiting afterall.

#koisenu futari #tv show #i say #txt #my thoughts #spoilers #episode 1

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mayosan · 2 years

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Influencer ex boyfriend

Gojo Satoru x chubby reader

C/w: mentioning of sex, bully, eating disorder, depressed, forced sex, mdin, body shaming

A/n: take care of yourself

You didn’t want to come to college today. Not after crying the whole weekend, starving yourself and then start binge eating calories. You felt terrible at yourself thinking that Satoru still loves you but reality is always harder to gulp. Satoru never loved you nor he ever will, he is a handsome man and also famous and rich. It will be heartbreaking for the media and his fans to find out that he’s dating a fat and lazy woman like you. However, your friend has the opposite view, Suguru, Satoru’s best friend and your friend. Even after your break up Suguru never left you, instead he gave you a shoulder to cry on. You often fantasise what if you met Suguru first? Would he break your heart too like his best friend? Suguru never made any move on you, he is just a friend to you. At least this is what you think of him as.

Suguru is different from his best friend and when you do not receive his phone calls, you find him at your dormitory on Monday morning. He looks at your gross situation, messy hair, your plump cheeks covered with dried tears and wrapped body with your cheap white bed sheet. Suguru knows what exactly is going on here, he doesn't ask anything and comes inside of your room. He didn’t break the silence, you’ve known each other for five years and saying something to you now may ruin your mood more so instead he wraps his shoulder around you. The feeling of someone else's warm embrace after a hard week you break into tears again. You hug Suguru too and while you are crying like a mess you feel his left hand creasing your hair.

Suguru lets you finish, he is a patient man and that is something you always admire about him.

“You are coming to the uni with me” Suguru says without looking at your painful swollen eyes.

“But-”

“There is no but Y/n. You're not going to ditch your class because of your asshole ex boyfriend.’’ The words from Suguru’s mouth sound so foreign. The pain in his voice is clearly visible, Satoru his best friend and so are you and this is not easy to take a side.

________________________

Hypocrisy is a total bitch. And Satoru realises it as soon as he sees you with his best friend Suguru holding each other's hands like you both are in deep love. Satoru feels betrayed but he has no right. But seeing his woman with someone else hurts like hell. But your red fluffy eyes tell otherwise. Shit! He did that again. He brought up your insecurities again. His face drops from the sight of your face. He knows he needs to make it up to you.

______________________

Before going to your pass course class you always go to the washroom to freshen up, however to your horror today you find yourself in the back of the university building, half naked while your ex boyfriend pounding his hard in your small cunt.

"G-gojo stop" you moaned.

"You're not going to call my last name, darling?" he push himself harder "are we that stranger now baby"

He creases your butt with his left palm softly before spanking it hard. Moans and tears are starting to fill your surroundings. Satoru's hard thrust makes both your brain and body go numb. You can't think straight, you can only moan and cry for him, begging him to reach your climax.

"Fuck baby I miss your fat cunt" Satoru started to go faster and harder leaving no time for each thrust. At this moment he only wants to make you feel satisfied and that's. He puts his fingers over your clit to make you orgasm.

"F-fuck daddy there please" you release the unholy words before reaching your pleasure.

"Yes baby cum on daddy's fingers" he kisses your cheeks while making small touches on your clit.

Your whole body is on fire. You forgot all your anger and gave yourself to the demon of your fairytale. The fallen angel. So when reality hits you, you realise the mistake you've made. Without saying anything you let your tears fall down from your wet eyes, instead these are tears of regret. The audacity of your ex boyfriend who can make you cry both in pain and pleasure.

"Aww don't cry baby I know you're a whore" he taunts

"Just leave me alone, Gojo"

"Too bad baby" he cups your face and kisses your tears "you still belong to me so you can't touch other men. Am I clear?"

His blue piercings looks deep inside your eyes, the look in his eyes is mixture of anger, jealousy, lust. You dated this man for 4 years. You know every shade of this man. When a demon came into the world he was always the prettiest man and here he is the prettiest demon of your story looking at your eyes while his body pressing your upper body. The sight can easily trick people, they only see the guy making sweet scenarios with his lover but in reality it is the complete opposite.

"Am I a clear baby?" His tone was deep and cold this time.

"Y-yes" you nodded.

"That's my fat girl" he stole another kiss from you and you hopelessly reciprocated the kiss, blending his sweet lips with your tears.

No matter what he does he always gets what he wants and you are his favourite treasure. A treasure he wants to break. His woman.

To be continued

#dilfsatoru #gojo headcanons #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #jjk getou #jjk drabbles #jjk headcanons #jjk gojo #nanami smut #satoru gojo x reader

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all-pacas · 15 days

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Are you comfortable saying what characters and what about the characterization you disagreed with? Just curious!

I don't want to get too specific because I'm not trying to do any kind of call out post! But it was a sort of situation where a specific character is highly whitewashed and can do no wrong, no matter how understandable or even welcome that would be. It's frustrating writing, not just because it's annoying to read about characters who can and are not allowed to Do Anything Wrong, but also because it's not human.

I'm a huge proponent in messy characters. People making mistakes, making assumptions, saying or doing the wrong thing. Good, well-meaning people who make mistakes, or get upset in the heat of the moment. Especially because they can and absolutely do exist with good or "paragon" characters! It adds so much more depth and interest and relatability! I love positive traits taken to the point of flaws! It's my crack!

And here's the tangent that's made me decide to answer this ask: I. Fucking. Love. That. So here's some very random examples of Good People and Characters with Positive Traits that can be flaws:

PETER PARKER. Amazing Spider-Man's semi-recent Sin's Past arc directly discussed this. Peter has a hero complex; he IS a hero. He compulsively needs and wants to save everyone, explicitly due to his own guilt complexes. It also makes him controlling. He will or won't allow help, will or won't share information. He keeps things to himself, he refuses to share, he intentionally keeps people out of the loop. He wants to save everyone. He thinks he knows how to do it. He dismisses and pushes friends away. He is a great hero and often a shitty friend.

CRITROLE, my guys Caleb and Nott. Best friends, they love one another, they are ultra found family. About halfway through the campaign, Nott begins to struggle with her personal issues, openly and obviously (Xhorhass and Flaskgate). Caleb cares for her a lot. He wants what is best for her. Instead of talking to her about her problems or calling her out on her recent recklessly dangerous behavior, he refuses to talk to her at all. He enables her, an alcoholic, with alcohol. It isn't that he wants her self-harming or in danger, it's because he loves her and can't bring himself to call her out or bring himself into conflict. He Fucks Up.

ALOY Zero Dawn. Another heroic type, she spends about half her time refusing friendship, help, companions, all of it. Her catchphrase is "I'm faster alone." She saves the world and skips the victory party. She's too busy. She has too much on her plate. She hurts her friends. They tell her this. She pushes them away. It isn't because she doesn't want friends -- she's actually a fairly warm person -- or even because she's so anti-social. She has the best of motives and reasons, and she is still a bad friend. She is cold. She is unkind. She is quite cruel to [SEQUEL GAME SPOILER CHARACTER], who we AND she knows does not deserve it, but she sees too much of herself in this person and lashes out. We know why she does it. It's still a dick move. We still love Aloy.

(you might think I'd include current hyperfixation smoothbrain vampire on this list. i cannot. he is an asshole on purpose. his minimal goodness is in spite of this, not because of it.)

I'm not for a second going to pretend that I'm a great writer worth bragging about. But it's something I like to do too. My current OC Tav lady is passive and easy-going. This is a flaw. She isn't passive and easy going because she's okay with shit, but because she feels like she can't and has no right to complain. If you give someone a Trait, follow it to its logical end. How is it good? How is it bad?

It isn't that "these characters are flawed" is some plot twist, it isn't that "characters having flaws" is news. It's that in all three examples, these are characters whose positive traits (heroism, love for another) have the side effect of hurting others. These are characters who are sympathetic (Aloy is isolated, Aloy lashes out for understandable reasons) but still make mistakes (being mean to someone who doesn't deserve it).

In the fanfic I was ranting about, there is neither. The person does not make mistakes, does not take their heroic, story-specific flawlessness into this direction. When arguing, they have the moral high ground, but also the flawless composure to not be rude or hurtful or controlling or a little bit rude in making their points. The other characters fall over themselves to apologize, to understand, to feel sorry for opposing them. It isn't just that they have no flaws (a subjective phrase), it's that the universe twists and conforms to them. There are no consequences, no stakes. They are the sun at the center of the universe. And I vastly prefer messy heroes.

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butterflyintochains · 2 months

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We Three Together

This is kinda based on a convo I had with @mikathemad earlier, kinda angsty, but here she is.

The rush of the number retirement ceremony has begun to abate a slight since last night. But, there's something wrong, Sid can feel it in the room, something is not entirely right in his team. And, no, it's not the abysmal powerplay... yet. He looks around the room at his team, eyes falling on Kris and Erik. The duo are deep in conversation, heads close together, looking at something on Erik's phone. Sid can feel that Kris is holding something in, eighteen years have honed them on each other's cues. So, he gives Geno a nod, and he closes the doors to the dressing room after Ned and Tristan leave. ''Sid, what's going on?'' Erik asks.

Sid says, rubbing his hands together. ''I think one of us has something on his chest. And, I think we all know who it is.'' Geno sits at his stall, and says. ''Legend, are you okay?'' Kris, a kind of confused look on his face, smiles and says. ''Yeah? Of course I am, why wouldn't I be? Why?''

Erik places a hand on his partner's knee, feeling like the shittiest partner in the world right now. ''Kris... hjartat.'' This seems to unravel him a slight. ''I dunno, maybe this weekend has just... brought a lot into my mind, that's all.''

Sid gently asks, knowing not to press his best friend too hard lest he pounce. ''Like what?'' Kris is silent, staring at the whiteboards, his glassy brown eyes would be hidden a mere month ago by his hair. ''Kris, we're your family, talk to us.'' Geno says, trying to sound as calming as possible. And, that's the problem, they've never had the thoughts Kris has had on quiet bus trips, they've not almost died because of a fucked up heart, he loves them both so, so much. But, this is just too big, too messy, too... not Kris. ''Kris, look at us, please.'' Erik says softly, and Kris slowly turns to face his partner and brothers. ''Promise me that no one but us four will know this?'' Sid, on behalf of all three of them, says. ''We promise. Now, talk to us.''

Kris steels himself for this conversation, one nearly a decade in the making now. But, he's safe with them, right? ''Seeing Jagr's number raised, the number I wore my whole childhood, just got to me. I just... what if that's as close as I get, y'know?''

Sid knits his brows together, a knot of pain for his best friend forming in his stomach. ''Kris, what d'you mean?'' Kris swallows heavily, trying not to put pressure on his heart. ''Sid, come on, I'm not exactly anything special, am I? Michel Briere died, Mario is Mario, Jaro is Jaro. You and Geno are living legends, so is Flower.''

Geno says, still keeping his voice level so as not to aggravate the situation. ''Kris, you've won three cups, all of them for us.'' Kris scoffs, and says. ''And, how much does '17 count really? I only stepped on the ice once the entire time.''

Erik says, not even he's heard any of this, not even at home during late night chats in bed. ''Your name is on that cup all three times, that ring sits on our mantle with the other two. Sully told me you all but coached the team that spring, with the surgery and all.'' Geno adds, remembering 2016. ''And, remember '16? You scored that goal, Kris, neither Sid or me have ever scored a cup goal, you have.'' Kris sniffs, the dam is breaking, and he doesn't like it. ''I've not won anything for Canada, either.''

Now, it's Sid's turn to scoff. ''That's because the assholes never had the guts to give you a chance, Kris. I begged Babcock to add you to the Prague and World Cup teams, he refused. No idea why, he just did.''

Kris fiddles with his baseball cap, needing something to occupy himself with. ''I've got one individual award to my name, one I didn't particularly seek out, no one wants a Masterton. I'm so proud of it, but, not even being considered for a Norris, just... hurts.'' Erik says, because he does know, he's always known, ever since he won his second, how hurt Kris has always been at being passed over. ''Kris, you don't need a Norris, you've already cemented yourself as this team's greatest ever defenceman. I mean, I looked at all the records for our position on the walls when I got here, you are on all of them.'' Erik says, because only a fellow defenceman can ever understand this feeling. ''As much as I love you, I never wanna play against you again. But, so many forwards in this league hate having to face you, and so many dmen want to be you.''

Sid adds, hating himself for failing his role as both best friend and captain where Kris is concerned. ''Then: you made sure we were all vaccinated against Covid, you are the driving force behind our charity work, you helped get the Bubble Playoffs and return to play going. Played 1000 games after all you've been through.'' Sid catches his breath. ''Sure, I have the C, but, when things get really bad, we all look to you.''

Geno simply asks his best friend. ''Kris, what do your gloves say?'' Kris furrows his brows, confused. ''Legend, G, why?'' Geno rubs his hands together. ''That's there for a reason. That's how we see you, you're our Legend. Our survivor.''

Erik adds, holding Kris' hands in his. ''Our conscience.''

Mario swoops in, the quiet father of the team. ''Kris, son, 58 will be up there with 87 and 71, and hopefully 29 too. No one could ever carry it with the dignity, humility, and style you have. As soon as you three hang them up, we're having the ceremony.''

Sid asks, incredulously. ''Wait, day of our retirement? All at once?'' Mario nods, and says. ''Within the week, actually, I've had the ceremony planned since 2017. But, this is my promise to all three of you. Now, Sully is waiting, should I tell him you're on your way, or not?''

Everyone looks to Kris, who picks his helmet up, dries his eyes, and says, ''Let's fucking do this.'' Sid and Geno embrace their best friend, Erik kisses his partner, and the four musketeers take to the ice. ''Kris, why didn't you ever bring this up before?'' Sid asks on the way to the rink. Kris shrugs. ''It just didn't ever feel like a good time. I promise, though, no more secrets.''

Sid says. ''Good, because it's we three together, okay?'' Kris nods, his chest feeling a million pounds lighter. He just hopes Flower can be added to that ceremony, whenever it happens.

#hockey rpf #pittsburgh penguins #tangerkarlsson #sidgeno

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scarisd3ad · 2 years

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Found you | Steve harrington x f!hopper!reader

Chapter ten

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October 11th 1984

It only took me three days to tell liv. I didn't want to tell mick I knew she'd get pissed. I ended up at liv's house after a rather difficult day of Steve's stupid flirting and kisses.

I knocked on her door a few time, tears pooling in my eyes. It was stupid to cry. I agreed to it, I said yes. After a few minutes she opens the door, her blonde hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail, and she had a white 'hawkins cheer squad' shirt on with a pair of sweatpants. Her face instantly pinching into a confused and concerned expression. Her eyebrows were frowned up and her eyes softened. "Hey...are you alright y/n?" She said softly. I shook my head trying to blink back the tears, "did Steve do something I'll beat his ass you know that right?"

I stared down at my fingers and mumbled "is mick here?" She shook her head. "no..why?" I enhaled and then exhaled before saying "good..can come in?"

"Of course, of course." She pushed open her front door more so I could walk in. I dragged my feet as I walked in the door and towards the living room. I wiped my eyes, wiping the remanding tears out of my eyes. "Tell me what's wrong...please?" She asked as I fell back onto her couch.

"It's fake"

She furrowed her eyebrows "what's fake." I sighed "Steve and I we're not actually dating" i muttered. Her eyebrows furrowed together as she tilted her head to the side obviously confused. "We're fake dating to make Nancy jealous" a singular tear fell down my cheek.

"And..and I can't do it anymore, it hurts so much liv" I cried as I wrapped my arms around myself.

It hurt so much. The feelings I had for him quickly became larger. I could barely keep it in and it had only been three days. How could I last any longer?!

"Oh god"

She instantly wrapped her arms around me. "Why doesn't he want me?" I sobbed into her chest. She caresses me cheek and l mumbles "that asshole" "he's stupid y/n. You're amazing and beautiful" I nodded slowly "he doesn't deserve you" she whispered as she pressed her lips to the top of my head. "T..thanks livie. Can you not tell Mick?"

She furrowed her eyebrows before saying "I won't. Take care of yourself y/n okay?" I nodded again before burying my head into her shoulder. "You need to break it off with him" she whispered. I shook my head.

I stood next to my locker rummaging through it to find a certain book I had left in there a few weeks ago, when I noticed the girl that had caught my eye a few days ago. I hadn't learned her name but I had found out she was in band, and that she was in Steve's English class. But Steve didn't know her name. She smiled, once she noticed I was staring and I quickly hid my face as my cheeks burned.

"Hey!"

Two arms wrapped around me that I recognized as Steve's. I turned around in his arms to see him grinning down at me. Pushing all my feeling deep down into my thoughts I smile "hi!" He presses a kiss to my cheek before saying "wanna go to the diner later?"

"Maybe.." I mumbled, he frowned and shook his head "please, I'll pay I promise" he begged. I shook my head "I dunno I was thinking of going over to liv's after a school" it wasn't a complete lie I needed some of her notes from last year for my English class. I was just going to ask her during art but I guess I could just stop bye after school instead. "Come on, I can drop you off after y/n"

I sighed as I reluctantly agreed, last night I had made an un spoken agreement with myself to spend less time with Steve. Maybe I'd be able to get rid of this stupid crush.

"Fine but you're paying."

I rolled my eyes as I slammed my locker door shut. "I will I promise" he said pressing his lips to my cheek. "I'll see you at lunch" he whispered before running off down the hallway. I sighed, god I was so stereotypical. This situation was so stereotypical it was basically something out of one of those cheesy romance novels I read. Fake dating someone and falling in love with them. Geez I just wanted to throw myself off a cliff.

I slowly walked down the hallway towards my English class.

"So you and harrington are dating?"

I turned my head to so Jonathan standing in next to me. Jon and I never really made up after last year, it was still pretty awkward. I didn't trust him as much as I did before the pictures. I just didn't understand why he'd do that and to me. I thought he was my friend but friends don't spy on each other and take those kinds of pictures. It was creepy.

"Yeah" I mumbled.

He groaned and ran his hand through his unruly hair "I don't like him" I rolled my eyes and muttered "I don't really care" before walking off.

I didn't care what he had to say, or what he thought about my 'relationship'. He wasn't my friend anymore so why did he have to have input. "Seriously y/n..He's not good for you."

Jonathan runs up so he's right next to me again. He places his arm on my shoulder so we're both stopped in the middle of the hallway. A few people roll they're eyes and push past him mumbling 'move freak'.

"What do you mean by that?"

I roll my eyes and he groans again before saying "you're just you, innocent sweet, and he's him y/n!" I roll my eyes and say "God you make me sound like such a prude Jon" before speed walking down the hallway.

I dont understand why Jon had to make me sound so boring. I was more than just the chiefs innocent daughter. I was far from innocent I've been far from it since I was twelve.

I huffed as I sat in my seat, I leaned back in my seat and mick turned her head towards me.

"What's wrong?" Her eyebrows knitted together as she chewed on her gum. "Jon" I muttered. She sighed as she nodded "ah what'd he do?" I crossed my arms "he stopped me in the hallway earlier and was talking about how I'm just SOO innocent and sweet and I shouldn't be with Steve" i grumbled. She nodded just letting me rant. "It's like he only sees me as the twelve year old that would let him follow me around like a puppy." She nodded as she sat up in her seat and whispered "he probably likes you".

I rolled my eyes and groaned. There was no way Jonathan would like me, maybe when we were twelve but he was definitely into Nancy now. "He's into Nancy" i muttered, "wheeler god she's just taking up all the guys isn't she?" She laughed at my annoyed expression.

It was true it was like Nancy had a choke hold on all the boys in hawkins. I guess they all wanted the hawkins resident innocently goody too shoes for they're girlfriends. But if it's just between you and me she isn't as innocent as they think she is.

"At least I don't gotta worry bout that" she sighed as she sat back in her seat. All of a sudden the pretty girl from the hallway popped up in my mind.

"How'd you figure out you were gay?" I whispered, micks eyebrows furrowed up again. "I thought you liked harrington?" I nodded and slowly said "yeah, yeah I like him but I guess kinda saw this girl- I don't know I might be mixing up my feelings" i muttered. Mick grinned "awe you've got a crush" my cheeks burned as I hid my face in my hands. "No- I um I guess but I still like Steve a lot."

"Bisexual" Mick simply replied. I eyebrows furrowed together as I lifted my head out of my hands. "Bisexual?" She rolled her eyes and said "yeah...you like girls and boys" she explained.

"I know what bisexual is" I groaned.

"Yeah okay you might be that then you know Liv is" she said.

I didn't know Liv was bisexual she never actually told me her sexuality she just told me she liked michele so I guess I assumed she was a lesbian. She did have boyfriends like she dated tommy hagan for two months in freshman year. I guess I just thought she mixed up platonic for romantic feelings.

I stood at my locker in between fourth and fifth period specifically grabbing my art pencils and paint for art class.

"Boo!"

I quickly turned around to see blaire standing behind me both hands now placed on my shoulders. "Hi!" I smiled softly.

blaire was in my art class, she had short curly hair that went down to her shoulders (that she normally wore in two pigtails), soft brown eyes, and a pair of glasses that almost looked too big for her face. Blaire was sweet, I've known her since freshman year. We've always been in the same art class and ended up helping each other with things we didn't understand.

"You ready?" She asked, I nodded as I stuffed my pencils in my back pocket. We began to walk down the hallway taking about anything and everything we could think of. "Did you see that new girl?" She asked, I nodded rolling my eyes. "The redhead?" She nodded instantly realizing I was annoyed.

"You don't like her?"

My arm swinged back and forth by my side, the paint pallet in my hand. "She's a bitch" I whispered so no one could hear me. "You think so?" Blaire's features knitted together in confusion.

"I know so, she's friends with Liv."

She nodded mumbling a small 'Ah' before saying "so she's a bitch like Carol?" She asked I nodded watching as her curls slowly bounced up and down as we walked. we walked faster once we realized that we only had a minute to get to class.

We practically ran down the hallways giggles erupting from us as we ran into the classroom and fell into our seats. Liv was already there painting away at her paper. "You're late" Liv whispered as the bell rang. "We got caught up talking sorry" Blaire giggled. Liv smiled and laughed "so b you almost done with you're painting?" Liv asked as she ran her paintbrush slowly across the top of her painting.

"No" Blaire groaned as she stood up and started walking towards the big metal drawers that held our art work. "Hey b! Can you get mine?" I asked and she nodded.

"I've gotta come over later to pick up some notes" Liv nodded as asked "what class?" Without even looking up from her paper. Her fingers were tightly but also softly wrapped around the brush and, her eyes never left the page, as her bottom lip was captured between her teeth. "English" she nodded again before humming along to the quiet music that played through her walkman. She could barely hear it because the headphones were wrapped around her neck, but she managed. She always said she didn't like it to be too loud because it distracted her.

Lunch was always the best time of the day, I didn't have to have the stress of the teachers or the work they assigned. I could just relax. Sitting at the same table everyday with the same people never got boring especially with micks crazy stories.

Steve just recently joined our lunch group, he kind of lost his lunch group after he went crazy on them last year so now he sat with us. Steve and I would sit on the right side of the table while, Blaire, mick, and Liv would sit on the opposite. Normally Liv sitting partially on micks lap sharing whatever snacks mick had brought that day.

"So what are you doing after school?" Blaire asked as she popped a grape into her mouth. "M'going to the diner with Steve" I replied as i reached over the table and grabbed a few chips out of micks bag. I dropped them onto my tray and popped one in my mouth as Steve walked up behind me and pressed his lips to my cheek. "Hey sweetheart how was your day" he whispered as he slide his tray onto the table and sat down. I smiled up at his and whispered "good."

Liv's eyes softened as she looked over at me, her stare telling me 'just break it off you're hurting yourself' I couldn't though. At least not yet, I agreed to three weeks I just had to get myself through three weeks.

Steve wrapped his arm around my shoulder before grabbing a chip off my tray and placing it in his mouth. "So-" I cut him off swatting at his chest "don't talk with your mouth full" i hissed. He rolled his eyes and said "okay mom" his mouth still full.

I rolled my eyes, he was so stubborn.

Once he swallowed down the chip his leaned his head on my shoulder every so often pressing a kiss to my jaw.

Just for a minute I pretended it was real. That Steve actually liked me, that we were a real couple, that this wasn't just so he could get back with Nancy. But just for a minute. I scooted away from him a bit my smile falling as I rested my cheek in the palm of my hand. Steve sat up his eyebrows furrowing together.

"You okay?"

I nodded mumbled "I'm fine" he scooted closer just to lean his head on my shoulder again. I just let him do it knowing there wasn't anything I could really say in this moment.

After the final bell of the day rang I made my way outside the school and towards Steve's car. Steve was already there leaning against the car talking to some of his basketball friends.

"Hey y/n/n" he walked up to me and pulled me closer to him before pressing his lips to mine. I stopped breathing for just a moment. My heart stuttered and my cheeks flushed. We had to exaggerate it more around his friends and Nancy since they were the main ones we wanted to believe we were dating.

"You ready?" He whispered, I nodded and he grabbed my hand. We walked towards his car as he said goodbye to his friends.

"I'll see you guys later"

He opened up the passenger side door and I sat down and he slammed the door behind me before making his way towards the driver side. I buckled my seatbelt as he got in and started up the car. The engine growled as he twisted the keys into the ignition. "I gotta new copy of our song" he whispered as he twisted his body around so he could reach around into the back seat and grab a plastic bag.

Our song.

'Our song' was 'I was made for lovin' you' by kiss. It had played everytime we were in the car together last year so Steve claimed it to be our song. He had given me his copy last year.

He grabbed the tape out of the bag and popped it into the cassette player and turned up the volume. He began to back out as the tune of the song began to play through the speakers.

I leaned my head against the window watching as the trees flew by.

After Benny died last year and his diner closed down everyone had to find a new place to eat on those early morning where you didn't feel like cooking, or after a long night. Now there was a small diner just a few minutes out of town. It wasn't anything compared to bennys but it would do.

We sat in a comfortable silence quietly humming along to the music. Steve's head bopped to the music and my leg bounced up and down.

'And I can't get enough of you baby can you get enough of me?'

We slowly pulled into the parking lot of the small diner. There was only a few cars in the parking lot most likely just the workers. Steve pulled into a parking spot and pulled the keys out of the ignition. I slowly opened up the car door and stepped out, walking up to the sidewalk and waiting for Steve. He got out stuffing the keys into his pocket before walking up to the side walk and grabbing my hand.

No one from hawkins high let alone hawkins would be here right now. They only came here on special occasions since it was farther out than Benny's was so I didn't understand why we had to fake it here. I just wanted to be his friend again without all this fake bullshit in the way. Yeah I had a crush on him but it was barely there now..now it was very obvious.

Steve pushed open the large glass door and held it open so I could walk in. He followed behind me our fingers still linked together. We walked over to a small blue and white booth and took a seat. As soon as we sat down steve pulled a menu out of the little side compartment on the table. Flipping through the menu he says "So why have you been so upset today?"

He grabs my hand and squeezes it. I squeak and pull my hands away before mumbling "Jonathan pissed me off." It was half a lie, yes I was a bit pissed off with Jon right now but I was also still upset about last night. He furrowed his eyebrows together "byers?" I nodded and he sighed "what'd he do?"

I shook my head as leaned back against the plush cushion on the booth. He groaned and kicked my at my foot playfully under the table "come on you're my best friend and 'girlfriend' tell me." I shook my head again and he laughed "you're so god damn stubborn aren't you hop."

"I can't fix it if you don't tell me."

I rolled my eyes, there was nothing that was needed to me fixed especially by him. It would be fixed after three weeks, once he get back with Nancy and we're back to our normal friendship. "He's just kind of pissed that I'm 'dating' you, and he's making me seem so boring. Saying how I'm just 'innocent and sweet'."

"He's making me out to be such a prude."

Steve laughed and rested his face in his hands "prude?" He lifted his head and raised his eyebrows. "You're far from a prude y/n. Does he know about two year ago? I bet he'll get off your back about that" he chuckled as a he smirked. My cheeks burned as I shook my head. I didn't ever tell Jon about freshman year, i assumed he didn't really want to know about that.

"I-I...no why..why would I tell him about that?" I stuttered out. He rolled his eyes and leaned his elbow against the table "make'm jealous" he shrugged. "There's no need to make him jealous" I groaned. There wasn't, I don't think either Jonathan or I have had feelings for each other since elementary school. "I'm just sayin' hop don't'cha think it's kinda weird he's being all 'you're to innocent for him' right now and not when we started being friends?"

I shrugged and muttered out a quiet "dunno" he raised his eyebrows and nodded. Steve had a point if I was all of a sudden too 'innocent' for Steve why didn't he tell me this last year. When Steve and I began to hang out.

I leaned over grabbing the menu out from in front of him and began to flip through it. They had normal diner foods, waffles, pancakes, hamburgers, soups, and sandwiches.

"Wanna split a waffle they're gigantic here" Steve asked, I lifted my head up from the menu and nodded.

Just about three minute after we figured out what we wanted to eat a server walked up to our table notepad in hand. She had curly red hair, bright green eyes, and had on a almost '60s looking dress with a black apron tied around her waist that held a bunch of straws.

"Hi guys I'm Mandy what can I get' cha today?" She asked a bright smile on her face. "We'll get a waffle" Steve said smiling up at the girl. "Any drinks" Steve nodded as he grabbed the menu from infront of me and placed it back into its compartment. "A coke and.."

"Sprite."

Mandy nodded and said "that'll be right out for you guys" before walking away.

"So I found out that girls name for you" Steve said, my eyes widened as I stared over at him. "Yeah? Really?" He nodded, "yeah. Her names Robin" Steve said. His eyebrow knitted together before saying "why'd you need to know her name?" My eyes widened. I wasn't going to tell him definitely not. I was scared.

"I-um no reason"

His brows furrowed together. he opened his mouth about to say something but then the waitress walked up placing two glasses in front of us. "You're food will be out in a minute" she said before walking away. Steve unwrapped his straw and placed into his drink. "So.." he took a sip out of his drink. "I was thinking you know, the winter dance" my eyebrows furrowed together did he really think we were going to be doing this for that long.

"You think we'll still be doing this?" I asked, he shrugged his shoulders "I dunno maybe but if we aren't maybe we could go together."

I shrugged "dunno..what about Nancy?"

He shook his head, taking another sip from his drink, "she doesn't like dances".

We turned down maple street, and pulled into liv's driveway. "I've just gotta grab some notes I'll be right back" before hopping out of the car and running up to the door. I knocked a few times before liam opened up. His face just barely peaking out "hey y/n" he said as he opened the door up more. "Is Liv here?" I asked, he nodded before pointing towards the stairs. I nodded before pushing past him and heading up the stairs towards her room. Her door was closed which gave me a chance to look at the wooden sign attached to it. It had her name written on it with big bold purple paint, and pink, purple, and blue glitter sprinkled around it. I'm pretty sure mick made it for her when we were in elementary school. It was cute.

I knocked one time before realizing the door was cracked opened, and my knock made it slowly open up. My eyes widened as I saw mick and Liv both in a rather compromising position. Liv sat on top of micks lap, and both shirts off. I quickly slapped my hand over my eyes "Ew gross! God I told you I was coming over!" I shouted.

"Sorry! Sorry!"

I heard both girls gasp, and a bunch of scrabbling. I'm sure one of them tripped. "You can look now" Liv said. I slowly lifted my hand off of my eyes to see both girls fully clothed and sitting on the bed. "C-can I just have the notes?" I asked. Micks cheeks were beat red as she looked anywhere other than at me. "Yeah yeah!" Liv got up and frantically searched through the stack of notebooks sat on her desk. She finally found it and quickly handed it to me before mumbling "bye".

I got out of there as quickly as I can, I practically ran down the stairs. I swear my face was burning up. I quickly ran out to Steve's car and got into it. "That was quick" he chuckled. I motioned for his to drive and he quickly pulled out. "What happened?" He laughed. I shook my head as I buried it into my hands embarrassed. He laughed, and began to drive down the road. "So straight to your house?" He asked as he turned down the stereo. "Yup" I replied as I began to flip through the notebook. Just a bunch of notes on the books, and other things we would be studying for the rest of the year. Some pages had small little doodles of smiley faces and hearts on the sides. The sudden thought of Nancy popped up in my head. I wondered if this was working, was she jealous, or was she so happy with Liam that she didn't even notice.

"Do you think it's working?" I whispered.

He furrowed his eyebrows and turned his head slightly towards me. "What's working?" He asked, "the fake dating...do you think Nancy's jealous?" He shrugged his shoulders, keeping one hand on the steering wheel while moving the other to sit on my knee. "Dunno, haven't paid attention to her" he said quietly as we turned down the road that lead to the cabin.

"Can I come in?" Steve asked, my eyes widened as I immediately said "no!"

I didn't mean it to sound aggressive, I just felt like I should spend less time around him when I don't need too. I didn't need to fake it at home (and honestly dad would rather not have Steve there anyways). His eyebrows knitted together, and his mouth opened like he was going to say somthing but I quickly said "I didn't mean it like that...I'm just tired Steve."

He mumbled out a quite "oh" before saying "I..just um wanted to spend time with you like we used to" he had a small frown decorating his lips and he did everything but look at me. My heart dropped. I didn't mean to hurt his feeling, I wanted to spend time with him like we used too. But it was hard especially in a small town. I kinda wished we didn't being my family into this, but then again small town dad would find out eventually. "I'm sorry Steve...how bout tomorrow? After school we can go to your house hang out by the pool?" I said softly.

He nodded slowly "yeah that..that would be great" he said as the car came to a slow stop. I grabbed my backpack and unzipped the large pocket before stuffing liv's notebook inside. I opened up the car door and stepped out. "I'll see you later Steve" I said before slamming the car door shut. Almost immediately he rolled down the passenger side window.

I slung my backpack over my shoulder "yeah..I'll call you later when I get home so we can talk...is that alright?" He asked. I nodded and smiled "yeah.." before quickly turning around and running towards the cabin. I ran up the few steps my feet practically stopping against the wood. I dug through my pocket to find my key. Finally I pulled it out and stuck it into the key hole and twisted it. I immediately noticed that the tv was off and I couldn't see el on the couch. Normally she'd be practically glued to that couch all fucking day.

My eyebrows knitted together as I closed the front door and locked it back. Dad had to work all day today so he wasn't able to be home when I got back from school. Normally he got off at three to pick me up, and he'd stay till about 4:30 to spend time with el and I. I walked towards el and i's shared bedroom and pushed open the door. Sat on my bed was el with a picture book sat infront of her.

"T-h-e th..the?"

She must've not heard the front door open. I knocked a few times on the door frame and her head immediately snapped back. The fear and confusion on her face quickly melted into a smile as she saw me. "You're reading?" I laughed as I sat my bag at the foot of my bed as sat down next to her. "Mhm" she hummed, "read me some" I said. She nodded and flipped a few pages back. "The..dog..ran..fast past the girl" she smiled up at me almost as like she was asking for my approval "Yup wow good job" I said ruffling her hair.

She flipped the page and started to read the following page when the loud ringing of the telephone interrupted us. I quickly got up and said "I'll be right back" before sprinting into the living room. I grabbed the phone off the hook "hello?"

"Hey y/n/n"

It was steve, just like he promised. "Hey Stevie, home already?" I asked. He chuckled and I could almost picture him, laid out on his bed, one hand running through his hair, while the other held the phone up to his ear. "Yup...you've..you've felt off recently are you alright?"

I furrowed my eyebrows trying to play dumb (even though he couldn't see me) "what..what do you mean?" I stammered as I fidgeted with the phones cord. "Just you've been distant since like yesterday..are you sure you're alright?" He asked softly. He was noticing, it was just a matter of time until he found out. I nodded "yeah I'm alright Steve" I sighed almost relived "good..Um my parents aren't going to be home tomorrow do you think you can spend the night" dad wouldn't not now not a week ago. "My dad I dont think he'd like it" i muttered. My finger twisted and untwisted the cord around my finger. "Oh..yeah sorry forgot the whole...yeah I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah..tomorrow" I said before quickly hanging the phone back up. I sighed as I slowly walked back to my room. I sat back down on my bed and rested myself against the headboard. El was still laid out across my bed book in hand. "Hopper?" She asked I shook my head "no..not dad um Steve" I replied. She nodded before going back to her book. "Are you hungry?" I asked randomly desperate to distract myself with anything else but the thought of Steve. El nodded and I instantly got up "eggos?" I asked and she nodded again a small smile gracing her lips. "I'll call you when it's done" I said before sprinting to the kitchen.

I grabbed the eggos out of the freezer, and placed them onto the counter before grabbing four out of the box. I plugged the toaster into the outlet before placing all four into each little compartment and starting it up. I then grabbed two plates and some syrup. After four minutes all of the eggos popped out almost making me drop the syrup. "Shit" I muttered as I slowly grabbed each waffle and placing two on each plate. I then walked over to the table and placed both down before grabbing the syrup, two knifes, and two forks.

"El!"

I called out as I sat down in my seat and began to pour syrup all over my waffles. She sprinted out of the room and almost fell into her chair. "Slow down kid" I laughed. I placed the syrup back down and she immediately grabbed it and practically drowned her eggos in it. She definitely had a sweet tooth. "They're not as good as dads....but they're something right?" She giggled and nodded as she cut up her waffles. She took a piece and popped it into her mouth before saying. "Did..you see Mike today?" I shook my head "sorry kid I didn't I'll try and see him tomorrow though okay?" She nodded slowly.

It wasn't fair that she had to be locked up in this fucking cabin. She just escaped confinement last year. I didn't blame her for feeling trapped.

"I know it's not fair" I whispered, "he just wants to protect you though...he doesn't want them to hurt you again." She nodded popping another bite into her mouth.

I stabbed a piece of waffle with my fork and placed it into my mouth. After I chewed it up and swallowed I said "how 'bout...how bout we watch a movie after this. Try and stay up till dad gets home?"

After we finished eating we put our dishes away, and immediately found our spots on the couch. We flipped through the channels trying to find something to watch when I stopped on a channel that was playing snow white. It was Sarah's movie, well that's what dad and I called it because that's all she watched for the first five years of her life.

Was I supposed to get over her death already? It had been so long but it still felt like it was yesterday. The gaping wound still there, I don't think it will ever heal. I can still remember how I felt in the moment. How scared, no terrified I was watching my little sister flatline. Her little heart just stopped, we were supposed to go in for surgery that day to remove the last of the cancer. She was supposed to live.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if she was still here. Would mom and dad still be together? Would we still be in New York?

"This one?" El asked, I nodded "yeah this one."

I felt like a baby for not being able to get over it. Mom did why couldn't I? Why wouldn't I? Maybe I felt like if I got over it, it would feel like I was forgetting her. Like I was replacing her.

"Are..are you okay?" El asked slowly, I nodded. I talked to el a lot about Sarah. I showed her pictures and shared stories. So it wasn't out of the ordinary for me to talk to her about Sarah. "Sarah liked this movie a lot" I muttered. She nodded "you miss her?" I nodded as I pressed my palm into the slide of my face. "A lot..so much"

About thirty minutes into the movie El had fallen asleep. Hey head leaning against my shoulder, and both her hands wrapped around my torso. Once the movie was over I wiggled out of her grip and scooped her up into my arms. She groaned and mumbled "movie?" I rubbed small circles into her back and said "it's over..bedtime" softly. She nodded and repeated "bedtime" into my shoulder. I pushed open the bedroom door and walked over to her bed and laid her down. I made sure to tuck her in and and press a kiss to her forehead just like dad did every night. "Goodnight el" I mumbled as I turned off the lights and made sure to keep the door open a few inches per her request.

I sat back down on the couch just as I heard the front door unlock. I turned my head back to see my dad. His eyes barely open, and a frown permanently etched onto his lips. "Hey sweetheart" he mumbled as he pulled off his jacket and set it down on the couch before sitting down next to me. I leaned my head onto his shoulder and he asked "did you guys eat?" I nodded. He then mumbled something I couldn't quite understand. "Love you" I muttered as my eyelids began to close "love you too" he mumbled as I felt his lips press against my forehead.

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yearningandpatheticaboutit · 2 years

Text

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF

CHAPTER 8: SHOULD HAVE JUST BEEN HONEST

warnings: violence, gun violence, blood, death, gore

wordcount: 6263

prev chapter

A/N: i started putting the next chapter at the end for convenience also this chapter is so messy the reason for the random perfect grammar and random parts with no grammar is because i got tired lol. thats all im sorry enjoy the chapter

***

San

"I really can't believe you brought a damn gun," I groan in the back as Woo drives unnecessarily fast. "And can you slow down? You want to get pulled over with an illegal shotgun in the back?"

He out a reckless laugh. "Unwind, Sannie. You know those fuckers are gonna have all sorts of excuses. Plus, Miss A needs to know we're doing our best. You know we can't have her losing faith in us."

I sigh and fall back into my seat. "Yeah you're right."

It's a fourty minute drive to Cita county, wherever this place is. My stomach is a little scrambled because of the mess we're about to make. One would think just because I did this often, that I'd get used to the feeling of sickening adrenaline. But I just couldn't.

The thought that something will go wrong drives me up the walls at every single moment. A man I've gotten used to seeing since I started high school is about to get cut up and devoured by the very gang that made him.

Its kept me up, I know its Yunho's own fault, but then I think of how badly I want to escape this. I think of how easily it could be me. That thought is exactly why I have to keep Yaera away.

It's exactly why I can't trust her to even be around this situation today. If anyone finds out about her, it will be a mess I won't be able to clean up.

I need to reply to her message. I have a gut feeling its passive aggressive and I don't know what to do about that.

I texted her all weekend when I should have focused on my test. But I ignored it, her sobbing on Saturday replaying in my head. And now I find out her parents have basically exploited her dead sister and is doing the same to her.

It makes me sick to my stomach. Fucked up parents who leave their kids vulnerable and broken before they even face the real world. No matter how unfair, you have to live what they did to you, when they were meant to protect you.

I guess we have that in common.

I decide to muster up a reply. Something must be wrong with me.

Me: What are your plans for tonight?

She's online. Her reply is almost instantaneous.

Y: I'm going to make a lot of money ;)

I narrow my eyes at her message. I wasn't aware she'd gotten a job. What am I thinking? Where would Yaera actually get a job? She probably plans to steal something.

Me: Don't get into any trouble.

I don't know what I'm doing by sending that message. I sound like her father and I know she probably won't listen anyway.

Y: You know I can't promise that. Anyway, shouldn't you be paying attention to your cousin?

"What are you smiling at on your phone there?" Woo asks me suddenly, making me lift my head. His eyes are teasing in the rearview mirror. "Your little girlfriend?"

I roll my eyes. "Why don't you focus on the road, asshole?"

"It is her!" Woo obnoxiously cooes. I swear I need to get him a girlfriend so he can stop worrying about what I do. "What did she do? Did she send you a cute message?"

Yeah, she's planning to commit theft. The usual.

"She just told me to enjoy my night," I say just to get him off my back.

"How romantic. So when are you letting me meet her formally?"

I scoff. "Never."

Woo's offended and a dramatic gasp pulls out of him as he nearly turns his whole body in the driver's seat. "How can you say that? You really hurt my feelings just now."

I kick his seat in the back, making him yelp. "Pay attention to the road!" I yell. "And no, I'm not letting anyone meet her. You're the one who told me to keep her away from this."

"Yeah, but I didn't mean from me!" Woo complains. "I'll pretend to be your cousin. She probably won't be able to tell anyway."

"No, Wooyoung."

"I just wanna see her personality!" Woo whines more. "I wanna see if she's right for you, you know?"

To think if this scenario was true, Woo would still be this nosy. I almost laugh at his desperate tone, shaking my head.

"So you know what's good for me now? Especially women-wise?"

"Of course. I need to make sure she knows your needs and how much of a crybaby you really are so she can let you sleep on her boobs."

My face heats up dramatically and I kick Woo's seat out of embarrassment. His annoying hyena laugh blasts through the air and I lean back into my seat. I'm not even going to dignify that with a response.

The rest of the ride is same old. Wooyoung blasts 1980s Cantonese pop, to "fit the mood" because he thinks we're in some Hong Kong crime show.

But as soon as the sun starts setting and the lights on the road begin to blur, its like a switch has been flipped.

Woo makes rough turns and parks in a shady neighborhood. We're feet away from a club with a neon lit sign flashing the words, "Nevada Dynamite". We sit in the car a few minutes, simply breathing. A car passes by and stops down the street as Woo slowly turns George Lam down.

"Are you ready for this?" Woo mutters. I nod without a word.

I pick up his shotgun and hand it to him while grabbing my crowbar. I pull my mask over my face and tighten my beanie as we get out and Woo locks the van.

Yunho's establishments don't really have an age restriction, maybe it's because he has a thing for minors. But either way, it isnt easy for us to make it past the door, especially when the bouncer immediately glares at us when we near.

"and who the fuck are you people?" he snaps. Woo walks ahead of me and flashes an overly cheerful smile, knowing he's about to ruin this guy's whole night.

"we got a message from Miss A. you sure you wanna send us away?" wooyoung says with a smirk. The bouncer's eyes widen in fear.

he doesn't get a chance to speak. wooyoung lifts the head of his shotgun and knocks it across the bouncer's face, throwing him to the side. he isnt knocked out yet, so woo slams the gun over his cranium for good measure.

i shake my head. this kid has way too much fun doing this. we barge inside the club, the neon lights and shitty techno music overwhelming. its pretty full, and i nudge wooyoung in the ribs when we get to the open floor.

he has the gun hidden underneath his jacket, but if it goes off at all we're fucked. "we need to talk to the VIP bouncer," i tell him and we look around suspiciously. "dont shoot while we're inside. if the cops show, we're fucked."

"i know, im not a moron." woo rolls his eyes at me but i have to make sure. he's trigger happy when left unchecked.

i look around worriedly. despite the intoxicating atmosphere i know this place is probably crawling with black dragons. if yunho is scared for his life the way he should be, he'd have this place fully invested.

a woman comes up to us in a tight red dress, a flower in her afro as she smiles. "evening boys, haven't seen you around here before. are you new in town?"

"not interested," i say, but woo nudges me in the ribs. the woman laughs, slightly offended.

"oh no, im just the hostess. my name is leana. can i get you boys anything? karaoke?" she offers with an unreal sparkle in her eyes.

"how can we get to the vip area?" woo asks.

leana's smile shrinks slightly. "oh no. thats restricted for the owner. but i can show you our other premium suites if you'd like a more private party."

yunho is definetely under this roof. fucking coward. i pull a small knife from my pocket and yank leana close to me so that her stomach rests against the tip of it.

she yelps, freezing on the spot. i sway her a little so it looks like we're dancing. i force a smile as she looks up at me in fear.

"why dont you lead us to the VIP room?" i say. "be a good host, yeah?"

"o-okay." her voice shivers as she turns around to walk. woo and i manage to stay close to her, with woo's hand on her shoulder as she guides us to away from the flashing neon lights and into darker fluorescents.

"please," she begs as we walk down a dim hallway. "i have nothing to do with any of this. i-i'm really just a nobody."

"arent we all, lady," woo mutters, not caring for the lady's obvious fear. we stop infront of a door and i push her aside, and she immediately runs down the hall as to not be seen.

wooyoung and i share one look before we both slam our feet into the door, throwing it open with a violent swing.

and of fucking course, yunho is there at a table with a shit ton of other gangsters. his eyes widen when he sees us and he jumps up from his seat.

"what the fuck is this?" he growls and looks at another guy. "mingi, your boys couldn't fucking keep anyone out?"

"no more running, asshole," wooyoung spits. "we're taking you home."

yunho shakes his head with a dirty laugh as men start to swarm us. i pull my crowbar from under my hoodie and glare. "not a fucking chance, kid. the next time you hear from me, i'll be on top of the drug empire in hong kong with zero fucks to give."

yunho gets up again but there's no way im letting him leave. i swing my crowbar against the head of a black dragon and shove its point into the stomach of another. soon the room is in all out carnage when they start pulling knives, and everything goes to utter shit.

i feel cuts slashing across my ribs as im forced against walls and surfaces, fighting for my life. wooyoung is using his shotgun like a sword, knocking everyone the fuck out. yunho runs out of the room when theres an opening, while a man just sits put at the table and watches everything unfold.

i punch one of the gangsters and grab his knife, stabbing it into his thigh. he howls like a little bitch, and i strike him across the face with my bar, knocking him straight into the table. the man stays at the table, smoking a cigar in a trenchcoat as if hes bored with everything.

theres money all over the table. bills upon bills. they mustve been gambling, or making a deal. i wave my crowbar toward the guy sitting as wooyoung beats the shit out of three guys in a corner.

"your boss is bold, sending you into black dragon territory," he drawls, blowing out a puff. "you must want an all out war, huh?"

"we want yunho," i heave, my shoulders rising and falling harshly.

"then you better go get him," mingi smirks. "you dont want him to reach hong kong, do you?"

"go!" wooyoung shouts at me, nodding to the door. "i'll take care of that bastard. you go get yunho!"

he wouldnt run now. i know this because hes most protected here. as soon as i make it out onto the open dance floor, seven guys show up to jump me. goddamn it.

one runs at me at full speed, raising his fist like its a rocket launcher. i move out of the way and grab his neck, slamming his head into the bar counter. people start screaming and running. everything is chaos.

i jump onto the bar and throw out my heel, catching two guys in the face. my breath is fast, it feels like im moving at lightning speed. i slide down and grab a bottle, smashing it over another guys head as he rams me into the bar. he grabs my head and tries to choke me, but i shove the broken end of the bottle into his cheek.

he screams and its a bloody mess. a punch reaches me from the side. it feels like im fighting with eight limbs, all the taekwondo and krav maga i was forced through during eighth grade completely saving my ass.

when theyre down, i scan the whole place. people stormed out of the club in fear. its empty. i run for the bathrooms to check it out. he couldnt have run, he has nowhere to go.

a couple starts rushingly gets dressed and runs out when i enter the mens bathroom, complete silence following after. thats when i hear heavy breathing. its like hes trying to calm himself but its not working. fucking idiot.

i kick open the middle stall door and it hits yunho in the face. he whines out and tries to throw a punch, but i roll my arm around his neck and hold him in a downward lock.

"let go of me dickhead!" he screams, his voice tightening as i fasten my grip. "ple- fucking come on, san. dont do this. dont do this to me please."

im trying to choke him out. but the fucker is holding on for dear life.

"pleasse!" he wheezes, sounding like hes on the verge of crying. "please, shes gonna kill me. are you really gonna let her kill me? after everything shes fucking done to you? think of your dad– think of–"

BOOM!!!

i loosen my grip as a shot goes off. yunho tries to wriggle out of my grip, i quickly apply more pressure. what the fuck was that. wooyoung better not have killed someone.

oh god. if wooyoung killed a member of the black dragons we are screwed. we're dead.

yunho passes out between my arms. i drop him and quickly run out when i see someone in a hoodie, standing in the middle of the club. hes staring right at me, in an awkward stance like he doesnt know whats going on.

"get lost," i spit at him. he doesnt move. another gangster?

"didnt you fucking hear me?" i hiss.

"ohshit oh shit oh shit!!" woo comes running out, holding his shotgun and mounds of cash on his other arm. "we need to get the fuck out of here."

i cant even register what i want to say when i hear footsteps and the door push open. that guy speeds out like his life depends on it. fuck no.

"yunho's in the bathroom!" i yell to woo right before i break into a run after the gangster.

he has to be another black dragon ready to call for back up. when i get outside the club, hes already halfway down the road. i sprint after him like the devil himself is on my tail.

***

"you need to give me an extra hundred, doll. you didn't say it was this far out," the Taxi driver tells me when we stop outside the shady club. "You didn't even tell me it was a whole different county. Gas prices are high, you know."

i scowl and hand him another hundred. "Hey, do you think you can stay here for a few minutes. I'm just trying to find someone."

The taxi driver's eyes shine in amusement in the rearview. "Trying to catch a boyfriend cheating?"

i snort and look up at the light up neon sign. "Something like that."

it was a whole hour drive. A whole different neighborhood, district, nearly a whole city. The black van San got into is currently parked infront of a shady looking club.

I know San lied but wow, he really covered everything up in a few mundane sentences. I won't be able to describe how betrayed I feel till I find out what he's hiding from me.

"Five minutes max," the taxi driver says. "After that you're on your own."

"Thank you, mister," I nod and get out, running to the entrance of the bar.

BOOM!!!

the sound is loud and comes straight from the club. i try to lie to myself and deem it a firework, having grown up in a sheltered neighbourhood, but when i look at the taxi driver, his fear is so imminent that i know it simply isnt true.

"hell no! im outta' here!" the bastard hits the gas and speeds off, leaving me stranded. i watch dumbly as he rounds the bend of the street, abandoning my view.

well, yaera, it looks like youre on your own.

i check for security when i turn to the club but the whole place looks abandoned out front. its only when i creep closer do i see a man sprawled out at the door, completely passed out. at least i think hes passed out. respectfully, i dont care if hes alive or not. it just makes me want to find san.

i go inside, and the silence is quickly shattered by the loud grunts of men and splinters of chaos. glass shattering, things breaking. when i finally get onto the dancefloor, all i see are bodies across the floor looking like human wrecks.

did...did san do this? i know he can fight but this? is he fucking bruce lee incarnate?

im bewildered to my bones. a door bursts open on the side and i see san right there. and i have no words. im frozen on the spot as we stare at each other in disbelief.

he looks fucked up. so fucked up. hes bleeding but i dont even think he realizes it. he looks ten times worse compared to the last time i saw him fight. and theres a look in his eye ive never seen before. he looks like he wants to kill me.

oh. oh fuck hes staring right at me.

"get lost," he orders in a low voice, his body taking a fighting stance. he has no idea its me.

"didnt you fucking hear me?" he says even more harshly.

limbs. nows the time to wake the fuck up and carry me out of here.

"ohshitohshit–" i hear another voice panic, a guy coming from another door in the club. he has his arms full of money and a gun in his hand.

a shotgun. thats all i need to see for my legs to finally jumpstart and get me the hell out of there.

***

San

i barely have time to think of how jung wooyoung, my childhood friend and faux cousin just left the both of us unbelievably fucked. all because im chasing black dragon backup. and fuck is he fast.

"Hey!" i yell, running after them. wooyoung follows behind me, and my nerves and face are unbelievably hot from how pissed I am at him.

"should i shoot him?" woo asks as we chase after the guy, and i wish i could swat him like a fly.

"do not fucking shoot anything anymore!"

the man curves into an alleyway, short and scrawny and so annoyingly fast. i feel like a cat chasing a mouse, im also trying to catch my breath because cardio is so damn terrible.

when we get to the alley, the man is hoisting himself over a fence. he sees us, staring at us with a mask and hoodie on so we don't catch his face. really convenient.

i keep pursuing, because the best I can do is knock this guy out till he can't remember a damn thing. or i can toss him into a bin so his members dont find him.

i try my best to climb over the fence with woo, but the person is already halfway over another one. woo is faster than me, jumping over and dashing toward the black dragon. he climbs and jumps, grabbing the asshole at the end of his hoodie and giving one hard tug.

he falls from the top of the fence and hits the cold concrete below. but instead of being unconscious with broken ankles, he scrambles to his feet like a rodent. he tries running past me, but I block him and yank him by the sleeves, throwing him into the brick wall.

once he hits it, I stomp my heel into his chest. he lets out a pathetic yelp, sinking down to the floor.

"you saw something you shouldn't have," I say, breathing hard. "now you should forget."

i can't kill him, so a terrible beating will have to do. woo and I already have to leave the area before anyone catches up with us.

"damn, Sannie, you gave him one hard ass kick," Woo chuckles. I glare at him and his smile quickly falls away.

"I haven't forgiven you yet. Shut up and take his hood off."

woo sighs and rips the guy's hood off, and I swear my breath hits a wall.

my ears feel like they're about to combust because of the rage pooling into them.

"what the fuck?" woo yells, pointing accusingly. "isn't that your girlfriend?"

yaera wheezes in pain, looking up to us shamefully. she's clutching her chest and tears are spilling down her eyes, and the sight of her red face somehow makes this already shit night a hundred times worst.

"woo, help me fucking carry her."

***

helping yaera in the van while she's out of breath and unable to speak is good, because it distracts me from the absolute bullshit I know she's going to spout once she can speak.

woo throws yunho in the back, tying ropeties around his wrists and ankles. yaera watches the scene as takes in puffs from her asthma pump and i cant believe it. im actually surrounded by idiots who never listen to me.

she fucking followed me. i don't even know how she found out, or how she found me, but she did. she actually did. and on top of that she has asthma. who the fuck smokes cigarettes while having asthma?

i strap her into the seat next to me, and she's borderline crying from how hard i kicked her. i feel bad, but im so fucking angry. i wouldn't have hurt her if she wasn't here in the first place.

woo gives me a weird look when he gets in the drivers. "what the hell man..." he whispers, staring at yaera like she's subhuman. "you've got a shit ton to explain."

"don't you fucking start," i snap at him, not in the mood. everything was ruined at once so i might as well go off now that i can. "what about you? what the Hell were you thinking shooting at a black dragon, woo!?!"

"look, that mingi guy attacked me. he was beating the shit out of me and i did what i had to. plus i didnt kill him!" woo defends, having the nerve to mutter under his breath, "even though i fucking should have."

"and this?" i gesture to the cash in the van. "was robbing him necessary?"

woo sighs exasperatedly as he grips the wheel and starts the car. "look, i just thought if i took a little extra you wont be so broke at the end when Miss A eventually takes her share of the money–"

i can't believe this kid. "you did this for me?" I scream. "you aggravated our rivals after shooting them so i can have some extra cash? goddamn it, woo!"

woo's eyes are desperate in the rearview. its like hes realizing the magnitude of what hes done. like hes trying to convince himself mentally that it was worth it.

"but this is worth more. I-It'll pay off your debt so you'll be able to buy something f-for yourself for once!"

i open my mouth to yell again but I'm interrupted. "Y-You're in debt?" Yaera dares to ask in a breathless voice.

i glare at her furiously. "Oh, you don't even get to ask questions. What the fuck are you doing here? Why did you follow me!"

She flinches at my loud voice but I don't care. Instead she has the nerve to glare back, sobby eyes and all. "You lied to me, you asshole. so this is the 'thing' with your cousin?"

"so you follow me? are you fucking crazy or something?"

"you just shot someone and you want to call me crazy?" she raises her voice. "what about you? If I'm fucking crazy then what are you?"

I grit my teeth in rage. "you had no right to follow me."

"oh but i have every right. You're my partner and you're doing shit behind my back."

"do you know how much harder you've made shit for me?" i snap. "if you had just fucking trusted me i wouldnt be in this mess right now!"

she scoffs. "how can I trust you when you lie to my face about everything! you asked me to be honest and i was, and then you lie to me right after? what the fuck do you take me for, san?"

i lean back into my seat and let out a frustrated groan, rubbing my temples. i can't take this. im not used to this, i hate having to explain everything I do and reporting to someone like a fucking understudy.

"this was a mistake," I realize. "this partnership. it was a fucking mistake."

yaera shakes her head at me, her chest rising and falling rhymically, somehow angry as well. "this wasn't a mistake. dont you dare blame your dishonesty on me," she grits through her teeth. "if you stopped lying and just told me what i need to goddamn know, i would have understood i need to hang back."

"okay fine!" i heatedly admit. "i wasn't going to bring you here. you know why?"

her dark eyes light up daringly, as if she's hoping I'll say something mean or insulting.

"because I don't trust you." I sneer.

i want to tell her i dont want her to be exposed to these awful people and this hellish environment. i dont want her to die or get hurt. but i dont say that. it rests on my tongue, dying to come out but i know how she'll react.

the fact that she refuses to be kept safe makes me even angrier.

"really? I would never have guessed."

"i seriously don't fucking trust you. you're reckless and it's like you don't care about your life at all. there were gang members in there. Actual gangmembers and after what happened last time, i wasn't going to have you mess anytvhing up for me."

she shakes her head in disbelief and curses in Italian. it's a long one and I know she's insulting me.

"wow! you're fucking doing this again after you said you wouldn't! you really can't keep your word, can you?"

her voice is dry and unimpressed and its clear we're both in the same page where we just dont trust each other at all.

"saying is one thing, but can i really leave your life in your own hands?" I laugh mockingly at her. "you can't even take care of yourself. the fact that you followed me here, an hour away from where we live just to fucking see what I'm doing says enough."

"Really?" She clenches her jaw. "Do you have any idea what this looks like to me?"

"i don't. enlighten me."

she leans forward, the long strands from her hair falling loose on the sides of her face. " it just looks like you played me."

"what?" i scoff because where is she going with this?

"to me, the person you're never honest with. it looks like i gave you all my savings, in exchange for a partnership that's one sided. i gave you that money to work with you and instead of fucking holding your end up, you do your own thing, you lie to me, make your own plans, go off on your own and never tell the truth. is that a good fucking partner? Doesn't that sound like a goddamn scam to you? Because it fucking feels that way to me!"

her words render me silent, and i realize i havent even thought about it like that before. im glad we're driving at night, because my cheeks are flaming hot from embarrassment.

"do you think that's fair?" she asks me again, defeatedly. "i did my part. i did all you asked of me. but you don't do the same."

"what the fuck is going on, San?"

woo's concerned voice from the front reminds me that he's in fact in our presence. I groan and clutch my head, oh god wooyoung has been here the entire time.

im going to have to be honest now. all the things im afraid of are happening to me. i wanted to keep yaera away from the gang while getting her what she wanted, and already one person is aware of her existence.

this just keeps getting worse.

"we're not dating," i say weakly. "we're partners. she's helping me with the gang stuff."

"what the fuck, dude!" woo exclaims. "since when?"

"recently," i mutter.

he sounds like he's about to break the steering wheel. wooyoung starts stuttering aggressively before finding his voice again.

"And Miss A??? Does she know about this?"

"Of course not, woo. and I'm not going to tell her."

"B-But if she finds out. She'll..."

i eye him sharply in the mirror. "that's why no one's going to tell her. she's my girlfriend, that's all there is to it."

woo sighs heavily. "what the fuck man... and here I thought you were finally getting laid. why are you letting her do this shit? what possessed you?"

if i tell wooyoung now, while yaera is in the car, he'll say some shit and scare her into oblivion. i think we have enough problems at hand.

"whats going to happen to san if people find out about me?" yaera asks woo. an uncomfortable silence follows before wooyoung answers.

"you see that guy in the back? that will be san. and you? well, it depends on who gets to you first, our gang, or the black dragons."

yaera frowns. she looks mildly uncomfortable, but not as afraid as she should be. shes not running for the hills when she absolutely should.

"that...wont happen," i try to convince myself. "just–just dont do this ever again, please."

"we need to talk san," yaera and woo say at the same time, both in demanding fashions. my mind hurts just thinking of having to deal with both.

"this whole thing is causing me to detour. we're gonna have to take her home first before we can take care of yunho," woo says.

"im staying at san's," yaera says, eyeing me sharply. "im not going home until we've talked."

***

the rest of the ride home is agonisingly silent. yaera has fallen asleep, her head against the tinted windows as soft breaths fall from her lips. she looks so serene sleeping. and yet my brain has been terrorising me by envisioning her as dead.

right next to me.

i try to keep my mind off it and watch yunho instead. he randomly wakes up on the way home and i punch him again, where he sinks right back into unconsciousness.

its a dreadful feeling carrying yaera up to my apartment with wooyoung being so quiet. the most talkative guy i know is dead silent.

maybe hes preparing for whats going to happen tonight. we've heard tons of stories of people joining the 105ths, finding out they were policemen and then having them fall off the face of the earth. traitors are far and few because of Miss A. people are too fucking scared to betray her.

i put yaera down into my bed and just as i close her with my blanket, her eyes flutter awake. shes disorientated and sits up on her elbow.

"go to sleep," i urge her. she shakes her head at me and i sigh.

"not until we talk."

"we've been gone long enough, lets go," woo says and pulls my arm, staring at yaera and i in a tense way that has his jaw clenched. hes angry at me, and fuck he should be.

it didnt take long for everything to go to shit.

"she texted me the address," wooyoung tells me in the van as we drive. "a warehouse at the docks. thats where theyre doing it."

i stay silent and mentally prepare. emotionally i know ive already been ripped apart by everythign ive seen.

"please be honest with me, man," woo says and frowns at me. "i just wanna know what youre doing with that girl."

"she needs to skip the country, so shes helping me make money and im giving her a share of it."

"and she knows youre in the 105ths?"

i nod and woo's grip on the wheel tightens. here we go.

"does she know about the debt? your dad? miss A?"

"no," i lifelessly answer. "i havent told her any of that. she just knows the easy stuff. im helping her till she can get away from her family, then we'll never see each other again."

"the san i know would never agree to shit like that," woo grumbles.

"i didnt. she has leverage."

"what?" woo shouts, piercing my eardrum. i wince. "shes fucking blackmailing you? that bitch! lets kill her. we can get rid of her, san. what does she have on you?"

this is exactly why i never mentioned anything infront of her.

"a video," i sigh. "she just caught me in the middle of a deal with that yeosang fucker. she filmed it. my face is clear in it and everything."

"lets fucking kill her."

"no." i say in a clipped tone. wooyoung is staring at me incredulously. "dont look at me like that. im telling you i dont wanna do anything. she wont snitch on me, i know that."

"shes literally blackmailing you."

"her family is fucked up," i shrugged. "i was angry about it but it passed.im going to help her and im not gonna make it the gangs problem. so can i trust you to keep this to yourself until everythings over?"

"whatever man," woo shakes his head disappointedly. "if youre sure about this, i cant say anything. but..."

"just trust me, woo. i know you cant trust her but trust me."

woo nods grudgingly, his discomfort worse than what it was before.

we pull up on the dark port and the warehouse is to our left. woo and i get out and carry yunho to the door, where higher ups take him from us.

he wakes up while they carry him and hes already screaming when hes put onto a chair in the middle of the place. the lights shine directly on him, casting out his ghostly, terrified face to the public.

"good work," one of miss A's deadly machines says. he steps out from the shadows like a ghost, his dark and unhinged eyes making me severely uncomfortable.

park seonghwa. aka the butcher. ive only heard of him from woo. hes the copkiller of the gang, the one who punishes all miss A's enemies. when he gets rid of people, he makes sure they stay gone.

and they wont ever be found. not in one piece at least.

from his twisted smile as he stares at the horrified yunho, its clear to see why hes dubbed 'the butcher' in the first place. he looks like he'd eat your heart out of your chest.

"you can go now," seonghwa tells us with a wave. "unless you wanna stay for the show."

he pulls out a long knife from the belt on his black pants, its blade shining sharply from the light sliding across it. yunho starts screaming louder.

"fuck no! you assholes cant do this to me! no! fuck you! ive worked for Miss A for years! you cant just–" his screams rapidly turned to sobs. "san, wooyoung, please. you cant let them do this. i made a mistake. i was being blackmailed–"

seonghwa gives no warning for what he does next. the blade disappears into the flesh of yunho's stomach, his mouth hanging open wide as inhumane chokes come from it.

i want to throw up.

woo and i watch in horror as seonghwa pulls the knife out of yunho roughly, cutting him up all over again. "its always you cowards who beg for your life the loudest," seonghwa chuckles mockingly. "its funny really."

he starts stabbing yunho rapidly, with blood now dripping from his mouth. i turn around because i cant stand looking at the sight anymore. i want to cry but i feel empty.

i cant believe this is my life.

"youre gonna tell miss A we did a good job, right?" woo asks pathetically, failing to hide the fear in his voice. yunhos screams have gone radiosilent.

"of course!" seonghwa says with a laugh. "go chase that promotion, kids! have a good night!"

i get out of there as fast as i can. and when im out the door, i empty my stomach on the concrete.

next chapter

#ateez angst #ateez imagines #choi san angst #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez scenarios #choi san #san angst #choi san fluff #gang au #ateez crime au

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daydadahlias · 2 years

Note

Ooh i would love for u to rant about why fine print ash is your fave! (If you want to ofcourse x)

beware: me talking abt my own fic like I'm not the one who wrote it.

thank u sm for this opportunity for me to gush abt my guys asdfghj i am abt to talk so much im sorry in advance wow

ok so FP ash is my fave for several reasons. Buckle up for a book report:

1. mans is hot. I absolutely love the "character design" of this Ashton. Which is to say: messy black hair, ascots, loose shirts, and nipple piercings!! I love his nipple piercings so much !! I mean I love this part of the fic just because think about it!! this is the kind of guy that not only gets his nipples pierced but wears fancy nipple rings! with pearls! that says so much about him right there.

Specifically, he’s drawn to the piercings on Ashton’s chest, the small decorative barbells that are on his nipples, a tiny pearl just beneath them attached to a silver ring that’s sparkling in the lighting of the hotel room.

2. not to pat myself on the back but he's funny. he's a little mean-spirited in his humor too, I think, but never to the point of being a full blown asshole (and his initial bitchy behavior is explained later so). Non-asshole but still semi-rude guy is Hard to write and I'm glad he comes across the way he does!! I think he's a sassy charming little guy with a heart of gold. Also this is just one of my favorite exchanges in a fic of mine ever:

He can’t help but grit out, “God, don’t tell me you’re homophobic or something now too.”

Ashton’s mouth drops open in a loud, disbelieving laugh as he stares at Luke. “Homoph—Dipshit, I’m gay.”

3. He stands up for himself. like, ok, was he kind of bratty to Luke in the beginning? yes he was absolutely. But he had his reasons and I’d say he’s fairly justified in having initial prejudices. And idk, I just really appreciate him being open abt that in one of his earliest interactions with luke. he doesn't mince words and he doesn't pretend to like him. he does his job but he makes it perfectly clear that he's not going to pushed around. He takes no shit!

“I’ve done this a long time, dude.” He raises his large hand to cut off any words Luke was even hoping on saying. “And I know by now that means you want an assistant but you don’t wanna pay the extra cash that job title and resume would require so—” He gives Luke a stiff smile that doesn’t reach his eyes— “I’m just saving us the time and orders and bullshit and I’m doing the job we both know you want me to do. So are you absolutely sure you want those nachos? Because you really seem like the kind of guy who wants a grilled salmon.”

4. he is a consent king!! one of the things I like about this Ashton (bc I’m me ofc) is that he is very careful about boundaries. And it's not in a... bend over backwards to not make someone uncomfortable way but just the acknowledgement that he understands why Luke is hurting and that he wants to do whatever he can to help. And it was also very important of me for Ashton to not only to acknowledge Luke's fear but also sympathize with it. He's the only person in Luke's life who agrees that he would also be scared if he were in that situation. And that's a reassurance Luke really needs at this time in the story so I think it's a great illustration of why these two little cuties make sense together!!

And then Ashton adds, bumping his shoulder into Luke’s and staying close, “I’m sorry. I get why you’re freaked out. I would be too. If there’s anything I can do to make you more comfortable in the hotel rooms, just let me know.”

5. He has the capability of violence but never actually acts on it. I really love protective characters and I love characters that can make their partner feel safe. Obviously, since Ash is Luke's bodyguard in this fic, his whole job is to keep Luke physically safe. And, a lot of the times, bodyguards are portrayed as really Intimidating and Scary people. And, yeah, this version of Ash is intimidating but I never really think of him as scary, which is an important distinction. for instance, the scene at the party where Ashton gets the impression Luke is in danger and threatens a guy for him.

And he says, nothing about his voice anything less than terrifying, “If you ever put your hands on him again, I will break them, do you understand me?”

This shows that Ash definitely has the ability to hurt people if need be. but also, it's important to note that even when Luke was with this guy and Ashton perceived him as threatening, he didn't Attack him. He didn't engage in any kind of physical altercation at all. He just asks what the guy said to Luke and then immediately focuses on Luke's well-being instead of attacking whoever he thought was the reason behind Luke’s distress. It shows that his priority is Luke's safety first, not violence or holding someone "responsible."

6. He establishes his own boundaries. I think a lot of times, in order to make others more comfortable, people neglect their own boundaries and that can often put pressure on a relationship and create a very unhealthy dynamic. so it was important for me to show that FP Ash isn't just setting aside his own comfort levels to take care of Luke. And, whenever their wants don't align, he offers compromises and other possible solutions. <3

He says, in as even and kind a voice as he can, obviously knowing the words are going to hurt, “Luke, I’m not going to sleep in the same bed with you, okay? Especially not when you’re drunk. That’s not something I’m comfortable with. I’m sorry.”

Luke’s vision is getting blurry. His voice comes out cracked. “No, I’m sorry. I’m just—I’m so tired and it helps when there’s someone there and I-"

“Shh.” Ashton lowers himself back to sit on the edge of the bed. “Luke, it’s gonna be fine. Here, I’ll sit with you until you fall asleep instead, would that be okay?”

7. He's cute!! Character contrasts can be really hard to write at times and this Ashton in particular is so... filled with layers and direct contradictions. it's difficult to make him somehow kind of a Dick but not Mean and sassy but not rude and youthful but not innocent or naïve and... yeah, he's a lot of things all in one and it was hard to make him feel like the same person throughout. And, for most of the fic, I wouldn't say this Ash is particularly adorable because he is consistently putting up walls to protect himself but then, as he gets more comfortable with Luke, there are little moments where he's just Cute and carefree as he lets his guard down.

Ashton trills happily and puts his toothbrush back, expressing enthusiastically, “Yesh! Thwanks. Lo’e my nwame.”

Ashton laughs at him, mocking an offended expression. “Mr. Hemmings! Sir! You can’t say a thing like that to me! You’re my boss!” He fans himself exaggeratedly. “Oh, whatever would the girls back home think? My superior attempting to invite me to a whore house! My God, I feel faint!”

8. He's a respectful slut. I've at this point in my fanfic career written a lot of slutty guys, as you may have noticed. I love writing slutty characters. And one of the things I really like about this Ash is that he is definitely sex-positive. He’s a touch of a whore. But, unlike a lot of my other slutty characters, he's not very... raunchy. He always waits for the other person to make the first move, even if he actively enjoys sex and talking about it at times. At no point does he actively flirt with Luke or try and entice him into sexual situations (even if he makes a few jokes about their fictional sex life and also gets a little defensive in the beginning of the story about Luke possibly contracting him for sexual favors). Once he and Luke are comfortable with one another, he is always careful to keep from pushing too far and after they kiss, he never so much as alludes to wanting to go any further. But he's also very open about enjoying sex!! and he doesn't feel bad about it <33 which is something I appreciate it.

Luke brows are drawn up sadly. He says, in a voice as quiet as he can make it without it being silent, “You’re not a slut.”

“Oh, I very much am.” Ashton giggles, rubbing his cheek against his arm. “It’s kind of a personality trait of mine.”

9. He understands the importance of having secrets. Obviously, in the last chapter of the fic, readers learn that Ashton has known the album was co-written the entire time. And he never told anyone. I think it says a lot about him that not only did he keep the secret to himself (even when he initially disliked Luke) but also, he didn't even tell Luke he knew because he didn't want to make Luke worry about it being used as blackmail against him.

“I heard you on the phone with him the first night,” Ashton explains like he's scared to, playing his bottom lip through his teeth. “I’ve known the entire time.”

“And you—” Luke gapes— “And you didn’t tell anyone?”

“Of course not.” Ashton reaches out to clasp at Luke’s knee fondly with a large hand, holding on tight. “That’s your secret. Not mine. I’m not gonna tell anyone.”

10. He never asks for more than someone's willing to give. This is genuinely one of my favorite "confession" scenes I've ever written just for this bit right here:

Ashton shrugs. “You gave a lot of yourself to him. I get it. And I get that part of you still loves him. Maybe part of you always will. But whatever part you’ve got left to give, I want it if you’re willing to give it. Whatever you want to give of you, I’ll take. I want all of it.”

11. He's so unbelievably chill. To this point in his life, FP Ash has been through a lot of bad stuff and he is at the phase where he just could not give A Single Shit. And I just love it. I love the casual attitude of "eh, if I can't control it, why bother caring about it?" It's something that's very important to balance Anxiety-ridden Luke out. It's the kind of attitude he really needs to be around, especially after being with someone who was also so terrified of perception.

He nuzzles into Ashton’s shoulder, chortling softly while blush decorates his cheeks and wonders, lips almost touching Ashton’s hot skin, “It didn’t upset you at all? Really?”

“No.” Ashton’s voice is close to his hair, proving to Luke that Ashton’s head is still currently tipped down to look at him and he probably still has that cute double chin. “That’s not a story about me. It’s a story about a guy with my face and my name but it isn’t me. So why would it bother me?”

12. He's a mystery. Everything we learn about Ashton's past, we learn from someone else without Ashton’s consent. In fact, it’s kind of implied that Ashton has been trying to hide his past. This is mostly a technical story thing but FP Ashton, for the most part, remains a mystery to us throughout the fic. And, honestly, even by the end of the fic we still don't know That Much about him. But I really like when Luke starts discovering Young Ashton through twitter and it's an entirely different version of Ash to the guy he currently knows. It insinuates that - in the world of this fic - Ash was a different person before. He was a session drummer from Sydney with honey hair and a more open, happy-go-lucky attitude. So that means that something happened to alter him. Something made him change career paths and give up music. Something made him dye his hair. Something made him different. What was it??

There’s one video that circles more than the others. A video of a honey-haired guy banging on a drum kit with a condor tattoo on the back of his neck. It’s Ashton. Maybe. Sort of. It’s a part of him. It’s a version of Ashton that Luke has never known before.

But this version of Ashton is the one that decorates his phone now. This honey-haired, dimpled young guy who plays drums and flips off the camera while giggling.

Luke thinks obsessed is a strong word to use… but he’s obsessed with him. He’s overwhelmed by him. This younger piece of Ashton who grins bashfully whenever the camera is pointed at him and plays drums in such a way that with every beat, a jolt of electricity rocks through him so his entire body moves when he plays.

Obviously, this description is meant to be a contrast to the Ashton readers have gotten to know to this point. Current Ashton isn't very bashful by any stretch and he doesn't have honey hair anymore and he doesn't play drums. At no point in Fine Print does Ash ever even so much allude to having played music in the past even though he’s working for a musician. So this insinuates that there's a tension between him and music. Which the begs the question!! why!! why doesn't he play drums anymore!! Who knows!! and we never find out lmfao!! I never tell you guys!! I just really love having a character that has so many questions a reader can fill in on their own if they want to. And this Ash is full of questions!!! There's so much about him readers simply don't know. All you know about him, really, is his personality. You know that he's a little sassy and a little sweet and a little cruel in the most kind way. And that’s all you really need to know to love the little guy.

So, yeah, that's why I love my boy <3

thank you sm for asking

#pigeon #anon #fine print #this is basically an essay #so guess what tag i get to use aaaa #jessay #!!!!!!!#ive missed her #thank u sm for this opportunity fr i love talking abt my guys #so much still i could say abt FP ash tbh #i just fucking love this guy #i love u anon

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starlightxsvt · 3 years

Text

3 dates | c.sc

pairing ➳ badboy!Seungcheol x female!reader

genre ➳ badboy au, romance, some fluff, angst, bad attempt at humour, gets spicy at the end.

word count ➳ 12.4k+ (i have NO idea how this became so long so strap in for a ride)

warnings ➳ cursing, mentions of killing, mentions criminal activities, slight violence(non explicit), smoking, ma man Seungcheol ain't your typical badboy, self doubt, blackmailing, reader does all sorts of risky things cuz she's a SIMP, blood(nothing explicit), kissing, marking, some breast worshipping, grinding, reader is horny lol. (Please lemme know if I forgot anything.)

synopsis ➳ after one fateful encounter with him you cannot get him out of your head. so you opt to do some crazy things to catch his attention and even snag a few dates with him. only trouble is he isn't the type to stay after the whole disposition is over.

Swirling the third drink in your hand you heave yet another depressed sigh. You are so tired that you feel like you can just slump on the counter and pass out. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to stop for a drink, you alcohol riddled brain thinks.

The plans you had with Katelyn was cancelled last moment; she called to tell you that her thesis submission date was moved forward and so she couldn't hang out with you tonight. You're in the middle of an existential crisis quite literally, the too many part time jobs yet still lack of money and copious amounts of study getting to you. Staring hard at your drink you contemplate if it is worth giving up on college and your dream of becoming an arts major. It sure feels tempting right now, the long hours at the diner and not enough sleep at night proving to be the worst nuisance.

Sighing you put down your drink. It's still early, you should go home and try to catch up on the much needed sleep. You really had no intention of grabbing a drink tonight; you have morning classes tomorrow but you made a last moment decision to stop for a drink on your way back home. You didn't take your usual route to home today, and while trudging through the streets tiredly you came across this bar called Seventeen's. You've heard stories about this place, how it is the home to local gangs and how it's bad people's turf and what not. Your curiosity, probably too much of that made you get inside for a drink even though all the bones in your body ached. The inside is what you expected, nowhere near fancy but dingy, just decent enough. The people inside didn't look friendly and if the chains and tattoos on them gave any indication you'd say the rumours are true; this is the turf of gangs. The drinks taste decent, not the best but not the worst and from the overall look of this place you don't really have a reason to come back.

You're about to stand up from your stool when a large, clammy hand grabs your wrist out of nowhere, making you jump. "Hey sexy, sit down. Let me buy you a drink," the owner of the hand, a large, tattooed middle aged man slurs making your nose scrunch out of disgust. You're wearing nothing that can be called sexy; a plain cardigan and jeans and the way he looks you up and down makes you want to poke his eyes out.

You really shouldn't have come here. Clenching your jaw, you meet his eyes, "What makes you think I'm interested to have a drink with you?"

"Oh come on, why would you be here then, lookin' all nice? Just sit down," the man drawls, an ugly smile on his face. He still hasn't let go of your wrist and it's making you impatient. Looks like you're gonna have to kick his balls tonight. Maybe the self defense classes didn't completely go to waste.

"Get your disgusting hands off me while I'm being nice, sleazeball," you hiss at him, trying to get his hand off. The man stands up growling, "What did you say you bitch?" You're preparing to break his nose when out of nowhere a punch lands on his face that sends him tumbling to the ground. The attacker gets on top of him and twists his arm and you can literally hear a bone snap.

Shit.

"I think she said she is not interested," the man hisses, landing yet another another hit on his face before kicking his groin and getting up. When he turns around and his eyes meet yours, your heart skips a few beats and you almost The man is drop dead gorgeous, someone you would not expect to see here but probably on the cover of a high end magazine. His blond hair is long, crossing the nape of his neck as well as some covering his forehead. What takes your breath away the most is his eyes, the most beautiful pair you've ever seen. They seem to have their own galaxies in them, so deep and mesmerising and decorated with lashes long enough to make you jealous. His dress up, black jacket and jeans, immediately tells you what he is; a gang member.

"You should get home, lady," He speaks in a no nonsense tone, his face cold as ice. But you're offended. "Excuse me? Who are you calling lady? You make it sound like I'm old." You puff your cheeks and cross your arms, trying to appear intimidating. "Besides I had the situation under control, you didn't need to butt in." The man keeps looking at you with that no nonsense look, his features displaying annoyance if you are right and he's clearly not intimidated. The dude on the floor grunts and makes an effort to get up, only to be kicked by your saviour once more. "Hey Mingyu, get him out of here. What was this piece of trash doing here anyway?" The man orders to someone before turning to look at you, "Do you live far?"

"Uh- no, a ten minutes walk from here maybe," you reply unsurely, surprised at his question. The blond haired man nods before grabbing your wrist, "I'll walk you home. Hurry up, lady." You have a feeling he's purposely calling you that and though you start following him out of the bar, you make grunts of protest.

"Oh yeah, why? Trying to find out my address? So you can come later and hurt me like that guy?" You would not be this brazen if it wasn't for the alcohol in your system, after all the man next you isn't a friendly one if the rumours are true. The man raises a brow at you, "Did you do something that requires me to beat you up?" You hiccup at his serious tone. Does he not get a joke? He lets go of your hand now that you're at a safe distance from the bar but still stays close enough to you as your steps are rather stumbling and messy. You aren't fully drunk but your body is tired and feels like will shut down any second.

You really need some sleep.

"You know I'm not that drunk. You don't have to walk me home." You complain. "I'm walking you home because this isn't a nice place you should be alone at night. What happened earlier could happen again." He says not looking at you. "Mhmm," you keep on trudging behind him, "Thank you so much for your kind gesture, sir." You mock him but he doesn't reply, staring straight ahead, completely ignoring you as he walks quietly. In silence you two walk the rest of the path, before finally stopping as your apartment comes into view. At this point it feels like your bones will break and you will plop down on the concrete any second, but you manage to keep standing. "Well, thanks for walking me home." You shift your weight from one foot to another. "And for helping me back there." He shrugs coolly, a bored expression on his face. He's turning to walk away when you call, "Hey- I didn't get your name."

"What do you need it for?" He side glances at you. You shrug, "I don't know. You helped me so I thought it'd be nice to know your name." "You don't need to. Go inside, lady." He says, his tone final and starts marching away. You wait a couple moments before yelling, "Asshole!" and quickly rushing inside your building, partly afraid he's gonna come back.

You won't be surprised if you get killed tonight.

"So you are telling me Choi Seungcheol walked you home?" Katelyn screams in your ear, jolting up from her seat, earning glares from other people at the library in the process. "That's his name?" You whisper-yell, grabbing her hand to pull her back down. "I'm guessing from the blond hair you said," Katelyn shrugs. "Uh huh." You mean back in your chair, "He was hot though."

"Is that seriously all you have to say?" Katelyn whines exasperatedly. "No, I mean, if it wasn't for the way he dresses or talks I would have thought he's a model or something." You murmur.

"Are you sure he didn't hurt you?" Katelyn questions. "Hell no!" You frown. "He saved me from that creepy old dude. I was surprised too. I wish I didn't drink so much, I could have gotten a better look at his face," you sigh. "Seriously?" Katelyn raises a brow at you.

"Girl, you should have seen him. His aura and the way he carried himself was...so hot." You grin to yourself. Katelyn watches you like you've grown two heads. "Are you trying to tell me you have a crush on that gangster?" You smile sheepishly, "Maybe, I mean it's harmless. He was broody yet charming and I'm a girl so.... Also, it's not like he likes me too and is gonna come running whenever I ask him to bang me." You mutter.

"Oh he's gonna break your bones and bang your skull against a wall. That's what he's gonna do."

"Come on! Maybe he isn't so bad. Maybe the rumours are just rumours. Maybe he just looks intimidating and dresses up like that and people thinks he's a gangster." "Really? His name is on every bad thing that happens around here. From illegal racing to murders. Do you know that people say he has killed too?" "Like I said, rumours," you shrug being your stubborn self. Katelyn holds her hands up in surrender, "You know what? It doesn't matter. I'm glad you're alive so let's just put this behind us, shall we?" You don't reply but wiggle your brows at her, a conspirational look on your face. "Oh no, don't look at me like that," Katelyn warns. "Let's go to that bar tonight. Please?" You give her your best puppy eyes. "What are you? Fucking crazy? You wanna get killed?" She whisper-yells, scowling at you. "No. I just wanna take another look at him. Without the alcohol in my system you know. Besides, the place isn't that bad." You reply.

"Well then get killed by yourself. I'm not coming with you."

"I'll help you with your papers for the rest of the semester."

"Shit."

"Well, looks like your wish won't be coming true," Katelyn muses chugging down her fourth glass as you keep playing with your first one. It's nearing an hour since you've come to the bar and there has been no sign of the man you desperately seek. The place is exactly like it was the other day, filled with people who you wouldn't want to mess with.

Yet here you are.

"Let's call it a night," Katelyn sighs. "We're just wasting our time." You know that too but you don't want to leave; not just yet. You are well aware that this is just pathetic but you've this crazy urge to see that man once again. You don't know why you feel this way; you never felt like this before. Why are thinking yourself to death about a complete stranger? Has some kind of spell been casted on you?

"Yeah, let's get going," you murmur half heartedly. You help your friend stand up as she's a little wobbly on her feet and together you make your way through the door. "Should we call a cab?" You ask Katelyn. She shakes her head no and you nod, you arms wrapped around hers to support her in case she looses her balance. You start stepping away from the bar and towards the road to her place until a noise from behind makes you stop in your tracks.

"Did you hear that?" You ask, whipping your head behind. There's no one around and the street is mostly dark other than the light flashing from the name of the bar. You hear the sound once again and this time you can locate where it's coming from. There's an abandoned playground at the back of the bar and you've a feeling that's the source.

Katelyn hisses as she sees you step towards there. "What are you doing!"

"Didn't you hear that?"

"Yes I did. That's why I say we leave!" You ignore her and cautiously keep on stepping forward, mentally cursing yourself for wearing heels. Katelyn follows behind you murmuring all kinds of warnings. "You know curiosity killed the cat, right?" She whispers.

You roll your eyes, "Well I'm not a cat. Just- be quiet. It can be nothing." You both move past the bar gingerly and towards the playground at the back. There are old gallons of oil and abandoned materials just around the corner and you two quickly hide among them. It takes you a while to get adjusted to the low light after you poke your head up from the hiding spot.

You're eyes fix on him immediately. His blond hair makes him easily recognisable amid the darkness. There is a few more people around him, all kicking something in the ground. Not something, but someone. The man lying on the ground groans in pain and you realize this is what you both heard. "Shit," You hear Katelyn curse from beside you. "We need to get going." Instead of replying, you keep your eyes trained on the scene unfolding, holding your breath. You're tranced. Seungcheol lands continuous punched on the guy laying below him and after a moment his writhing frame seems to stop moving as it falls limp.

Fuck.

"You know in movies this is the part where people get caught." Katelyn whispers, her voice hoarse and her hand clutching yours in a tugging motion. "Uh-huh. But I can't seem to move. I wonder if he's... really dead." You whisper back. "Are you fucking crazy!" She hisses. "You wanna witness murder?"

Before you can reply you hear a sound that echoes through the empty field and it takes a second for you two to realise that it came from any one of you two. You don't have the time to figure out who made it as you both are crawling away from the playground without looking back, head crouched low to avoid being seen. You don't know if they heard that or if they're coming behind you, you both just keep scrambling, moving until you're past the corner. As soon as possible you both get on your feet and run like the grim reaper is chasing you, stopping only when you are far enough from the bar.

"I am never listening to you again!" Katelyn yells.

It's been a good few days since your near death experience and you somehow find yourself in front of that bar once again. You and Katelyn have not brought up that incident after that night. You made yourself believe that it was over and came to a conclusion that it is better to forget that man and leave all of it behind, no matter how much your heart disagreed. But it's easier said than done; you may not mention him out loud but in the back of your mind you think of him. He's like a ghost, haunting you all the time, plagueing your thoughts when you go to bed at night. It felt like he was ever existent and there was an itch in your heart that drove you insane.

Maybe that's why your subconscious brought you here, in front of Seventeen's, once again. You were on your way back home from library and you thought you took your usual route, until you realized you were standing in front of that place. But what is even terrifying is that the man haunting your mind stands in front of the entrance of the bar and you blink a few times to make sure you are not hallucinating. He's leaned against the entrance door, cigarette between his lips and from his pocket he fetches a lighter to light the poison in his mouth.

Damn, lighting up a cigarette never looked this sexy.

He hasn't seen you yet and you contemplate running the other way. That's the sensible thing to do but you, not being a sensible person, start walking towards him. Your footsteps make him look up and notice you and like the last time, there is no expression on his face. It's the same bored yet handsome face except now in daylight you can take a better look at him and this time, you notice a little mole on the left of his face, by his nose. Realising he's gonna stay silent you decide to speak, "Hi... It's me... Do you remember me?" Wow. That's such an intelligent thing to ask.

With the monotoned yet serious expression on his face, he goes, "Why won't I? I don't have Alzheimer's."

So he can joke.

You laugh, an awkward, probably exaggerated laugh. "What are you doing here? Did you not learn your lesson last time?" He cuts to the chase, his voice brassy and deep, almost threatening. You want to roll your eyes. "Who are you to say? I can be wherever I want whenever I want, thank you very much." "Well then, have fun getting in trouble like last time." He's nonchalant as he blows a smoke right past you and stands up straight, turning away. "Wait!" You almost grab his hand, desperate to stop him.

What is wrong with you? Your subconscious slaps her forehead. What are you holding him back for? To say 'hello sir, I think you're hot, can you please put your dick inside me'? Seungcheol turns his head back, his eyebrow cocked up.

Why do you find everything about him so attractive?

"Um...I know your name, Seungcheol." You speak, trying to sound intimidating, like knowing his name gives you some power over him. There's something definitely wrong with you which is why you don't want him to leave just yet and which is why you're stalling time. But it seems to have done the job as he pulls the cigarette out of his mouth and turns towards you, an annoyed look on his face. "How do you know that?" The timbre of his tone is deep and it rakes shivers down your spine. "Well, you've built quite a reputation for yourself so it isn't hard to get your name." You shrug coolly. "Well, if you know so much about my reputation, you should know what I'm capable of." His lone is low, almost threating as he starts to take slow steps towards you making you step back out of reflex.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe you will also end up like the curious cat.

"Oh yes, I know. People have got a lot to say about you," you try to sound unfazed, not meeting his eyes that you feel are burning holes on your face. "What are you doing here, lady?" he asks slowly, pausing between each word and glaring at you as he continues to step forward. You can feel his patience thinning.

"I swear to God if you call me that-"

"What are you doing here?" This time his tone is scary, too scary. It makes you lose the ability to speak for a second as his dark gaze bores into you. He has backed you up against the wall behind you and you swallow. Right, what are you doing here? It probably has something to do with a very hot individual and his insanely attractive aura. Scratch that you are a hundred percent sure it has something to do with the blond haired, enticing man in front of you. He's driving you mad and you need to get your fill of him.

"Go out with me," you state and you are sure you've never spoken words more stupid than that. Internally, you cringe and pray that the ground below you would open and take you straight to the fiery pits.

This is the first time you see some sort of expression come across his face; surprise. He looks utterly shocked and somewhat confused. His mouth opens just a little and he squints at you, "What?"

There's no going back now.

"Go out with me. Let's go on three dates." you say once more, looking him in the eye. He seems to appear even more surprised, a dumbstruck look sitting on his face. He observes you quietly for a while and you can feel the gears in his head shifting. You wonder what he's gonna say next. Or maybe he won't say anything but bang your head on the wall and leave you to die alone. "I'm sorry I'm not following," he looks genuinely perplexed. "I want to go on three dates with you. They say after three dates you can figure out whether you like that person or not and I think I like you so..."

I think I like you.

The biggest understatement of the year.

Seungcheol tilts his head, an amused expression on his face as he studies you, those sharp eyes of his settling on yours, "What is your deal, sweetheart?" He crosses his arms, a brow raised. Sweetheart? That's new. And definitely better than lady. You can't deny how hearing him call you that makes your insides melt. "Nothing. I just want to date you," you shrug, trying to keep your wits together. His proximity is driving you wild; you can sniff a faint smell of cologne and cigarette, him being inches away from you. This time he laughs loudly, a mocking laugh you'd say. "Who sent you?"

Oh my god.

You roll your eyes. "Nobody sent me! Do I look like I'm a gang member or something?" "Then I don't see a reason why you'd want to date me," He states, throwing a challenging look at you.

"What if I said I have a thing for bad boys?"

He snorts. "You don't look the type to date bad boys," he mocks. "Who are you to say that?" You cross your arms. "I want to date you because I think you're hot, okay?" You can not believe you just said that. Looks like you don't have control over your mouth anymore. Warmth spreads throughout your face like a forest fire.

Seungcheol narrows his eyes on you, his tongue poking his cheek as he stands in front of you as if trying to read your mind. After a beat he sighs before looking at you, his eyes becoming darker than usual and his gaze unforgiving. "Hey. Does it look like I'm playing house here? Do you have any idea about the shit I do? The dirty work I do? I don't care if you have a fucking fetish or whatever but this is the last time I'm warning you. I don't want to see you around again. If I see you here once more, you're in fucking trouble," he spits and starts stomping away. His tone is serious and you know very well he is not joking, which is why you use your last resort. You're embarrassed at yourself for being so desperate but at the same time you feel shameless. It has almost turned into a game at this point, you want to make him surrender. That's right, you want him to give in. "You shouldn't be like that with me. I saw you, a few days ago. That night, when you and your friends were beating up that guy...in the playground," you casually stroll to come stand right behind him.

You can't believe you are blackmailing a gangster. Your death must be near.

Seungcheol whips his head back, his eyes glaring at you and you can almost see fire in them. Finally, you got his attention.

"My friend also saw it, we both did. You killed him, didn't you? Me and my friend witnessed a murder. What do you say? Should we go to the station?" You can see his jaw clench and you can't hold back a victorious smirk. Moments pass by as your words hang in the air and the tension between you gets thicker. Yet once more he surprises you, breaking the silence with a chuckle, "Well I killed one person, what makes you think I can't take care of another?"

You swallow.

"Well, my friend already knows so if I go missing you can be sure that the cops will come to you first." You throw back at him.

When did you get so wreckless?

Seungcheol stares at you for a few more seconds before shrugging and moving his hand dismissively, "Well then go tell the cops. I don't give a shit." He starts walking back to the bar leaving you starstruck. He stops and turns towards you before opening the door, "Also, I meant it. I hope I don't see you around. Otherwise I may just have to hurt that pretty face."

You don't show up after that.

Mostly because you are embarasssed.

It's been a good while after your last encounter with Seungcheol and you didn't go to the police, obviously. Because you don't have evidence and from what you've heard Seungcheol is pretty influential around here and you don't need to go to an extent to get on his bad side. You're definitely gonna end up dead if you do so, which you don't want just yet.

Classes have just finished and you and Katelyn step out of the classroom together, walking through the hallways and into the main campus. She rambles on about some bad sushi she ate yesterday while your mind remains preoccupied. Maybe you need to get laid. Maybe that'll make you forget about Seungcheol. You just need good dick that's probably why you were so desperate for him.

That's just a stupid lie.

You don't realise Katelyn is calling you until she shakes you by the shoulder and you snap back into reality. You notice her face is as pale as a ghost and following her line of sight your eyes stop on him.

Him. Seungcheol.

What?

You double take, blinking furiously to confirm your vision. He's standing there, in the parking area of your uni, leaned against a convertible Ferrari, a cigarette between his lips. He looks relaxed, like he does this regularly. Students whisper in each others ear while gawking at him curiously. "What did you do!" Katelyn yells. "Nothing!" You hiss back.

"Then why is he here!"

"I don't know!"

Your eyes meet with Seungcheol's and a smirk spreads across his face making you shiver. He stands up straight and tilts his head, an indication for you to come closer to him. "Fuck, he's here for me," you mumble. "Of course he's here for you, dumbass," Katelyn snaps. "Well, if I don't return, you know who killed me." You sigh starting to walk towards him. "Wait- you're going with him?" She asks incredulously.

"Don't worry. I'll keep my phone on. I don't think he's gonna murder me, I mean there are so many witnesses." You inhale deeply, leaving behind a lost looking Katelyn.

Seungcheol says nothing as you stand right in front of him raising an inquisitive brow but he only holds open the door for you to get in. Deciding to follow him you enter the car quietly and a wave of gasps go through the crowd.

There's gonna be talk about this tomorrow.

Seungcheol, still smirking victoriously for some reason rounds the car and gets inside and within seconds you're hitting the road. There's a thick silence for a while, which feels like ages to you. You're overwhelmed, bewildered to say anything; your poor brain still processing what is happening. You're nervous, jittery as you fiddle with you bag and look out on your side, for some reason scared to look at him.

What if he really kills you? He wouldn't, right?

"You're awfully quiet," Seungcheol says matter of factly as he spares you a glance while driving.

"I'm... processing."

"What are you, a robot?"

"Why are you doing this?" You question instead.

"Doing what?"

"Okay, you know very well what I mean. Why are you picking me up from uni all of a sudden? How do you even know I'm a student there?" "I have resources and...you didn't protest at all. You came along nicely," Seungcheol raised a brow at you, a cocky smile on his lips. You don't answer but continue to stare at him, trying to pin him down with your gaze. He finally sighs and pulls the car to a stop by the side of the road, the sudden brake making you slightly jerk in your seat. "I've decided to give you those 3 dates. That's why," He is calm, unreadable and you wonder if this is a prank. Then again, he has no reason to prank you, does he? "Really?" Your voice comes out breathy. "Yes. I thought I'd give you a taste of how it feels to be with someone like me. I can scare people without physically hurting them you know," He says in a menacing tone.

"So what? You're taking me to an underground fight or something?" You question. "Nah, we're keeping it simple today." He smirks as he starts the car again and turns on the radio, an indication that he doesn't want to converse anymore.

Shamelessly you take a good look at Seungcheol; he's dressed in another jacket today paired with a black tee underneath. Today, you notice he has upped his accessory game, his fingers full of rings and chains dangling from his neck. But what catches your attention is a tattoo, something like a dragon and words written in a language you don't understand, peeking from underneath his sleeve. You almost ask about it but decide it'll probably be too much and he wouldn't answer you anyway.

As you do so, in the back of your mind you think you should have dressed better, something cuter, more appropriate for a date rather than a plain blouse and jeans. But then again who knew Choi Seungcheol was gonna show up out of the blue. You're gnawing at your lower lip, lost in your thoughts when the car is pulled to a halt and you realize your ride is over. You're parked in front of a diner called Lacy's and from the vibe that the place is giving, you can tell that this is place where people like him hang out. You raise a questioning brow at Seungcheol who says, "I know it doesn't look fancy but trust me I has some of the best food I've ever eaten." Taking his words for now you quickly type out a text to Katelyn letting her know you're in one piece and get out of the car.

Once you're seated you look around the place which is relatively empty except some men playing pool at the far end. You watch Seungcheol who has gone to the reception booth to place your orders; his posture relaxed as he leans against the counter and talks to the girl standing there. They seem to know each other because their chat takes longer than it should and the girl has a shy, almost flirty smile on her face.

He probably fucks her.

You shake the thought off your head as the gangster comes back and sits in front of you. There's silence for a second as you wonder if you should just ask the questions that run free around your mind. "Are the rumours true?" You blurt out. He's raises a brow.

"About you. You know..."

"Do you want them to be true?" He asks back. "I don't...know," you reply. "Well, I think it depends on each person. If you want it to be true it is true, if you don't it isn't," he shrugs, leaning back in his chair. "Why don't you just give me a straight answer?" you snap. He smirks as if he's having fun but doesn't reply, watching you with his arms crossed. You roll your your eyes, blowing out an exasperated breath. "You know, I haven't seen one like you. Willingly hanging out with dangerous people, going to dangerous places. You say you saw me kill someone yet you're here. You're almost desperate to get in trouble," he observes. "I'm not desperate to get in trouble. I just...I'm just- attracted to you alright?" This is so embarrassing. You need to shut your mouth. "You've been on my mind ever since that night. I wanna see exactly how deep I'm into you." You bite your lip.

That's enough. You will boost his ego through the roof like this.

Seungcheol studies you for a bit before grinning cockily, "Well, if you didn't know, I am trouble baby. Just you being with me might end you up in a mess." Before you can reply, your food is served, that same girl from the booth setting down your plates and looking at Seungcheol for a bit too long with that same stupid smile which he returns. You don't know why but you feel jealous, jealous of whatever these two share, whatever she has with him.

You've lost your mind at this point. You're on a high that is Seungcheol. He has made you forget your morals, made you completely lose your mind. Or maybe you've been too good all your life and seeing him brought out that crazy, thrill seeking part of yourself.

Silently you dig into your food and as Seungcheol said, the food is really good. This is one of the best meatloaf you've ever had and you can't help but moan. Seungcheol watches you with an amused smile before popping a fry in his mouth.

"What's your major?" Seungcheol asks out of the blue.

"Uh- sociology."

"Mmhmm."

You're about to ask him what he studied in college but you assume he probably never went to one so you seal your lips. You wonder what his background is and who his parents are but you don't want to get too personal on the first day. So you ask something else, "How old are you?" He laughs out loud before he deadpans, "Thirty five." "What!" You almost choke.

There's no way he's-

"Why? What did you expect?"

"I... I don't know! A few years older than me? You're kidding right? You don't look thirty five." He has to be bluffing. "And how old would you be?" "You shouldn't ask a woman her age," you try to make a point. "Don't you have any manners?" He smirks,"I don't, sweetheart. To answer your question, I'm twenty eight."

Uh huh.

"Well, I'm twenty one," you mutter under your breath. You don't know if he hears it because he doesn't give any reaction, busy twirling a fry in sauce. The rest of your meal is full of silence as you wonder if your date will end like this; dry and boring. He's awfully silent and seems to be lost in thoughts as he doesn't engage in a conversation. You're about to take your last bite when the silence is broken by him.

"What did you see that night?" He leans over, his elbows resting on the table as he suddenly regards you with a sombre look, his earlier cockiness vanished. His eyes have once again gone dark and his demeanor says he's not being superficial right now. You're caught off guard as you cough loudly, reaching for your glass to take a sip of water. "What?"

"You heard me. What did you see that night? Exactly how much did you see?" He repeats. You're confused. You thought he didn't care about it. He said it didn't matter. So why is he bringing it up now? You've worked hard to push that night in the deepest part of your brain, pretending it didn't happen.

And then suddenly it clicks.

"You!" You point an accusatory finger at him as you catch on to his plan. "You've agreed to go out with me so that you can find out what I saw that night!" Seungcheol groans, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Ugh, just fucking tell me!" He snaps, annoyed that you've found out his little scheme. You scoff, "I thought you said you didn't care? Besides it's not like I'm going to tell the police." He rolls his eyes and leans back into the couch. "Just tell me and let me go."

You're baffled. His actions didn't make any sense and you actually thought he had no other intentions behind dating you but holy shit this sneaky bastard. "You sly little asshole!" You hiss at him. "Call me that once more and you'll regret it." He threatens. You roll your eyes sagging back into your seat, "Whatever." Then an idea hits you. "You know what, I'll tell you exactly how much I saw that night." You have Seungcheol's full attention now as he stares intensely at you, waiting for your next words. "On our third date. When this whole deal is over, I'll tell you. But in return you'll have to keep your promise and take me out on two more dates."

"Oh fucking hell," he groans rubbing his face in frustration. His state makes you smirk and you feel accomplished.

Choi Seungcheol is stressed because of you.

What a day to be alive.

You murmur, "Besides this isn't even a proper date. This was more like an interrogation. But I'll go easy on you and won't make you redo this date." You give him a sweet smile and he sees red. You can literally see fury blaze in his eyes. "Whatever!" He yells and abruptly stands up. "I don't have time for this. Your stupid play date is over. I'm dropping you home."

Before you can reply, he's marching towards the door. You've to admit this wasn't the best date but at least you've trapped Choi Seungcheol.

It has been a good week after your so called date at the diner and you haven't heard from him. You expected him to call or text you since he was gracious enough to ask for your number but he didn't. You now realize it was a mistake to not get his number; you had asked him for his when he took yours but being the prick he is he denied to hand over his number to you. You should have forced him to, you sigh. As you sit in the library the ping of your mobile distracts you from your racing thoughts as you realize you have a message. Picking the device up you tap on the notification. Even though it was from an unknown number, you have no trouble figuring out who it is from. A smile graces your lips as you read the words over again.

I'll pick you up from your house tomorrow evening at six.

That's all it says and that is good enough to send a thrum of excitement throughout your body.

You have not held back in dressing up today and you realize it's been a long time since you've dolled up yourself. A long before the clock strikes 6 you are ready; dressed in a cute pastel top and a matching skirt. You've also went ahead and applied makeup, not too much but just enough to maybe catch his eye. Maybe.

You wonder what he has planned for today.

A text from Seungcheol saying he's here has you flying out of your apartment as fast as your feet can carry your desperate self to see him. He stands in front of your apartment with his convertible, dressed in a white jacket that matched his pants. You take a deep breath before walking towards him, trying to calm all your nerves down.

"You know I expected to hear from you earlier. I've been waiting all week," you voice makes his head turn around to meet your eyes as you are skipping towards him with a teasing smile in your face. "I've been busy," he shrugs coolly, his eyes going over your whole body, from your legs to your face. He doesn't hide that he's taking a good look at you, in fact does it unashamedly.

You wonder if he likes what he sees.

Someone dressed up today," he comments. "Too bad we aren't going to a place where you can show off your pretty clothes." You frown, "Where are we going?" Seungcheol holds open the door, a mischievous smile on his face. "I've decided to grant your wish." With a confused face you get inside the car, the gears in your head running. What does he mean?

"I'm taking you to an underground fighting ring," he says with smirk as he reaches for something behind his seat. He pulls out a large hoodie and tosses it towards you, "Put this on. Otherwise you are going to attract a lot of attention and you don't want that." You gulp, taking the hoodie and putting it on you. You're slightly embarrassed. You were so excited to try this outfit but it's not like you knew he was taking you to a fight club. Hell you would have dressed like a guy if you knew. You shrug on the hoodie and it falls almost to your knees but it's huge and comfy and most importantly it smells like him. There's a hint of cologne, nothing too strong; a subtle, expensive scent that makes you want to take a deeper sniff. You wonder if you can keep this with you.

Stop it, pervert.

Seungcheol's voice pulls you out of your haze, "You can take it off later. Just wear it until we're out of there," he says and brings the engine to life.

Then you actually think about it. Underground fighting ring? Holy shit. You were only kidding when you mentioned it. Admittedly, you're shocked, somewhat horrified. Everyone knows it isn't the best place to be at especially for someone like you who never had such an experience. Seungcheol must have seen your expression because the smile on his face gets bigger, "Why? You not up for it?" His voice is teasing.

He's challenging you.

Oh well.

"Of course I'm up for it," you square your shoulders, keeping your voice cool. "Bring it on."

Seungcheol leads you into a bar and then through a door at the back that leads down to a lot of stairs, reaching a place similar to an underground parking lot. Quietly you follow Seungcheol, staying as close to him as possible, your bodies occasionally touching. He leads you to a pair of double doors and from the other side you can hear men shouting and chanting.

This is it, I guess.

Seungcheol throws one more smile at you before pushing open the doors as you scramble to follow him closely. The sight that greets you something you only see in movies. There's a boxing ring where two people are throwing punches at each other and surrounding them from all sides is a wild, loud and excited crowd. They continue to cheer loudly as the two men in the ring continue to box and you hear their grunts and groans.

Holy shit.

Swallowing your eyes meet Seungcheol's who is regarding you with curiosity. "What do you think?" He has to speak loudly for you to hear over the screaming throng. "Uh... It's loud," you say dumbly as you try to think of a reply. But it's too loud for you to even think properly as you take in your unfamiliar surroundings. You see a tall man approaching towards you and out of reflex you shuffle closer to Seungcheol until you realize it's his friend. The guy from the first night. He and Seungcheol grin at each other, patting their backs as they talk close to each others ears. You gawk at them curiously and realize they must be talking about you because his friend takes curious glances at you occasionally. His friend is tall, really tall and well built but unlike his body his face is sweet and puppy like, almost cute. When he grins his canines pop up just like a puppy and you wonder if all his friends are good looking.

After he's done chatting with his friend Seungcheol pulls you close and says, "This is my friend. Mingyu. Always stay near him, you hear me? Don't stray away unless you wanna get hurt." His eyes are stern as he pins you down with his stare but you have other thoughts running in your head.

"What do you mean? Where are you going?" You yell over the noise.

He just smirks at you and starts taking his jacket off. "About time you see how we do it around here." His tone is cocky as he hands his jacket to you, "Hold this for me. And stay close to him."

Giving a look at Mingyu Seungcheol starts walking away towards a door that you're guessing is the changing room.

He's gonna fight.

"Wait- but-" Mingyu stops you with a hand on your shoulder and offers you a kind smile. "It's fine. Just stay with me." He then ushers you towards the crowd, spotting a place where you can get a good look at the ring. "Do you guys do this often?" You look up at Mingyu. He smiles sheepishly, "Not me. I tried a few times and I always end up beaten to a pulp. But hyung does this often, he's really good."

"Uh huh, I'm sure he is," you smile dryly. "This is your first time watching a fight, no?" "Definitely." He grins, "Watch carefully then. It's really fun."

You have your doubts on how watching people beat each other up can be fun but you don't comment anything, instead chew on your lip anxiously. Seungcheol really didn't have to go this far? What if he gets hurt badly? Is he trying to impress you?

Don't flatter yourself, your subconscious rolls her eyes.

As the loud cheering that had died down ensues again, your train of thoughts are halted as you see Seungcheol in shorts and his hands covered in boxing gloves, step into the ring. You can't help but ogle at his naked torso, his finely defined and chiseled muscles. He has the perfect body, not too bulky, not too lean just the right amount that gives you a hard time taking your eyes off him. He seems to have noticed your gaze because the second your eyes meet, he throws a haughty, knowing smirk at you. Embarrassed you avert your gaze elsewhere.

His opponent is a muscular man who's growling and banging his chest with his fists, a gesture of intimidation, you suppose. You are definitely intimidated and you wonder if Seungcheol can actually win against him.

The fight starts with a whistle and in mere seconds they are on to each other, throwing punches left and right. Your eyes have a hard time keeping up with them and their fast reflexes and your hands fly to your mouth as a punch lands on Seungcheol's face, followed by repeated blows as Seungcheol falls back. There's a moment of silence as he wipes his bottom lip and you realize there's a cut.

He tilts his neck, popping the bones and glaring at the other man before launching himself on top of his opponent. The next moments are a blurry mess, Seungcheol beating the guy repeatedly until he ends up on the floor but he doesn't stop there. Seungcheol ends it with a sharp jab to his spine and you have no doubt the other man has broken bones with the ways he howls in pain. The match comes to an end like that as the people cheer wildly while Seungcheol steps down from the stage. Mingyu grins at you happily as if what you witnessed was just a regular occurrence, something you should be cheerful about. Shaking your head at the situation, you let out a deflated sigh.

Their life is really so different than yours.

Seungcheol seems to be in a very good mood after the fight as he buys you both some sandwiches and drinks from a deli after you both step out of the bar. You both sit down at a park nearby to eat and watch the night sky. "You know, I thought you were gonna lose," you speak after taking a few bites of the sandwich. Seungcheol scoffs, "You underestimate me, sweetheart. I've been doing this for a long time."

"Do you enjoy it?" You ask quietly, focused on peeling the wrapper from your food. You feel Seungcheol's stare on you. "Yes. Why? Are you scared already?"

"No. I was just... curious. Your definition and my definition of fun is totally different." You murmur. "Of course. What did you think? I go to the mall and shop and watch movies with my friends when I'm bored?" His tone is sarcastic. You bite your lip. "No I didn't. It's just...I feels different now that I have experienced it first hand." Seungcheol offers nothing more, taking a sip of his coke and leaning back into the bench. A silence stretches between the both of except the rustling of the wrapper of your food. "How long have you been doing this?" You blurt out. He frowns at you and you don't expect him to answer but he surprises you.

"For a long time."

He doesn't offer anymore and you don't have the heart to prod him for an actual answer. "And how long do you plan on doing this?"

"What?"

"I mean... don't you have any other plans. Like...do you wanna keep doing what you are doing for the rest of your life? Don't you wanna like... settle down maybe?" Your voice is soft as if you are talking to a child. Seungcheol looks annoyed. He doesn't speak for a while as he stares at the ground, a frown etched to his face. You're about to take back your question when he replies, "I really don't think you understand. I've been trying to tell you that my life is completely disparate to yours. So I don't think like you. I don't have plans like you but neither am I expected to follow a certain pattern like you. I can do whatever the fuck I want, ___. So don't look at me like you pity me. I'm the last person here that should be pitied. " His tone is sharp and it makes you feel bad, like a sensation of needles pricking your heart. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry," You whisper, feeling timid as you look down at your lap. He mutters, "Don't go poking your nose in other people's business. Specially people like me."

He's right. You shouldn't have asked that. You are not close enough to ask things like that. After that there is a silence, this time, an awkward one. There's palpable tension in the air and you feel jittery. Should you just ask him to take you home?

It's still early and truth be told, you don't want to leave him just yet. You only have one more date to go and judging by his reaction, he is in no way interested in a relationship. You heave out a long sigh. You knew very well what you were getting into, yet you couldn't stop yourself. Seungcheol is like a poison, the sweetest one, the one that has you addicted and unable to let go, no matter how much it hurts.

This is a fucking mess.

"Let's get going. I have plans," Seungcheol announces, standing up. You want to protest but you feel like you have ruined the mood, so you follow him mutely to his car.

The drive to your house is awfully quiet, to the point you want to scream out of frustration. Seungcheol seems to be lost in his head as he makes no move to talk. It's like you are alone, but you're not and it's worse, the air full of tension. Soon you have reached your house and he stops the car but keeps the engine rolling, indicating his rush. He keeps still and stares ahead while gripping the steering wheel as you step out of the car in silence. "Thanks for dropping me home," you say lamely, your voice meek. You turn around to walk away but his voice stops you in your tracks.

"I promised you three dates and I will keep my word. I expect you to keep yours, ___. I hope you will tell me what I want to hear when we meet next time." His tone is sharp with an edge of threat and you barely get to nod before he drives away.

It's not until you're inside your apartment that you realize you still have his hoodie on. Quickly fishing out your phone you type out a text.

I'm sorry, I forgot to return your hoodie.

After a while, his reply comes.

Keep it.

You watch Katelyn as she fills her lunch tray with food before walking over and taking a seat opposite to you. She looks extra radiant today, which probably has something to do with the way she's dressed; a bright colourful outfit which undoubtedly she put a lot of time into considering. She has a date, with a guy she has been talking to for the last few weeks. It reminds you of your pitiful situation and you sigh, trying to shrug off those thoughts.

It has been a good couple weeks since you last saw Seungcheol and you have not exchanged a word after that night. In the back of your mind you wonder if he is even alive. You want to message him, you really want to because you are going crazy but after how your last date ended, you can't bring yourself to. You are scared, exactly of what, you can't put your finger into.

The entire situation you have put yourself into is fucking scary. They say you become sure of your feelings after three dates but it did not take that much for you. You already are very certain about your feelings for him and how deep they run exactly and you also know that in the end you will be left scarred. He would never be yours. He has probably forgotten about you or decided that it is not worth another date to figure out what you saw that night.

You let a desperate, pitiable sigh.

"I know you are hiding things from me but I understand that you are not ready to talk yet. But I want you to know I am here for you okay?" Katelyn's voice makes you blink your way out of your thoughts. She squeezes your hand tightly and gives you a reassuring smile and you're left feeling guilty.

"I ...I will tell you. Soon. Just give me a bit more time," you whisper. She nods in understanding. A grateful smile touches your lips as her words make you emotional. Then there's a ping from your phone letting you know there's a message. Without giving it much thought you open the device and your eyes go wide.

I'll take you out for dinner tomorrow night. Wear something formal.

You wait outside your apartment for Seungcheol. Your day has passed by in a flurry of excitement and nerves as you carefully picked your outfit and did your hair and makeup. A soft baby pink dress that stopped just above you knees adorns you as your hair rests just above your neck in a loose bun.

You are fiddling with your fingers as you think about how this night is gonna end and wether you will ever see him again when a car screech that grabs your attention.

Seungcheol's convertible has taken a stop in front of you and you see the man getting out the vehicle and take big steps towards you.

You're mesmerized.

Perhaps there is not enough word in this world to describe his looks or perhaps you've simple lost the ability to speak; either way, you just stand and stare, drinking the godly man that stands in front of you. He looks delectable, completely flawless and agonizingly gorgeous in his sharp black suit and pants, with a silk black shirt underneath, the top couple buttons undone that reveals a beautiful porcelain skin. His hairstyle completes the look, parted to one side in a sleek way and showing his forehead and oh god is it sexy. You realize you have a forehead kink, if there is anything as such.

If you weren't in love with him before you are now.

He looks ravishing, and you wonder why it isn't illegal to look this good. It should be because you have completely lost control over yourself. Nothing exists in your world except for him and you feel paralyzed, unable to do anything but drink him in. You wonder if you are even worthy to stand beside him.

"____?" Seungcheol calls you, snapping his fingers in front of your eyes. He must have been calling you while you were eye fucking him. "Oh! Um, hi." You're flustered. "You- you look really, really nice." It isn't enough but it's what you can get past your lips. A knowing smirk kisses his lips before he teases, "Well, you look really, really nice too." Motioning you to his car he says, "Shall we? We'll be late for our reservation."

"Yeah, of course," you say, hurrying over to his car, embarasssed at your foolery. Seungcheol must have noticed you ogling him like that. But you don't really care when he looks like that. It is his fault for looking so devilishly handsome and idly you wonder if he did that on purpose. If he's deliberately teasing with, trying to make you the most miserable before letting you go with a slap of reality to your face. Pushing away those plagueing thoughts, you sit up straight and clear your throat as Seungcheol comes to sit beside you and brings the engine to life.

A decently long and quiet (except for the music from the radio) but not quite uncomfortable car ride later, Seungcheol stops in front of a really fancy and expensive looking restaurant just by the sea. You did not except him to take you to a high end restaurant, otherwise you would have put some more effort in your looks.

Feeling slightly out of place you quietly follow Seungcheol into the beautiful European styled building after he hands his keys to a valet. The interior is dripping with polished furnitures and extravagant chandeliers and marble floors as guests dressed elegantly have their dinner. As you look around the place in awe Seungcheol talks to the receptionist who then guides you towards a staircase that leads to a pair of large double doors decorated with gold which then, opens to a large balcony. In the middle of it sits a table with two chairs and an unceremonious gasp escapes your mouth as you realize this is where you will be having dinner.

The man from earlier takes his leave as Seungcheol helps you sit down before taking a seat for himself while you take in everything, overwhelmed with all your surroundings. Why did he put so much effort for a lousy and fake date?

"What do you think?" He asks with a smirk as he rests one of his elbows on the table.

"I'm overwhelmed," you reply quietly, honestly. He chuckles, "Well this place has really good food and a fantastic view so I thought it wouldn't bad for our last date."

Last date.

"It's really beautiful. I don't know why you did this but thank you, really," you murmur, eyes on the satin table cloth with intricate golden lining. Everything about this place is so pretty.

"Well, I decided it would be beneficial for me to extract words from you if you are wooed," his words have a teasing tone to it and his demeanor is completely different from last time, giving you a whiplash but you are not sure if he's fully joking. Before you can say that you are definitely wooed, a waiter appears to take your order and you leave the duty of ordering to Seungcheol since he seems to frequent this place. Prior to his leave, the waiter pours you Seungcheol's champagne of choice and then, you two are alone once more.

Reaching for the flute, you quickly gulp down the champagne to soothe your dry throat and to calm all your nerves.

Over dinner you talk about your uni and your parents back home and the farm they own. While Seungcheol mostly keeps quiet he doesn't ignore you but listens carefully, occasionally passing glances your way or commenting. He does not offer anything about him, which you expected and you don't ask any questions about him either. Instead you try your best to keep his interest in your words despite the lack of it from his side.

After a hearty meal of poached lobsters and wagyu beefs and creamy soups comes dessert; a chocolate orange mousse with spiced fruits and yogurt sorbet. You start eating your dessert in silence, the occasional crashing of waves filling the complete lack of sounds.

This location is truly magnificent and breathtaking, almost having a feel like you're in a fancy resort in a luxurious tropical island. It is undoubtedly the most beautiful place you have ever been, let alone have dinner at and you wonder if you would ever have the chance to visit some place like this had you not met Seungcheol. The man in question, continues eating quietly, seemingly lost in his thoughts. He looks lovely as always, if not more and you try to burn this image in your mind for you to look back at later. You want to ask him so many question, you want to tell him so many things but you're scared. Sacred if you do so this moment will break, scared it will annoy him and end your final date all too early. So you bite your tongue and finish your food as he does and after your plates are cleared away, you are served another expensive champagne as an end to your luxurious dinner.

Even though Seungcheol doesn't say anything, you assume it is time to spill the beans, to say what he has been wanting to hear from the beginning. You have teased him enough and it is time you give him what he deserves. Taking a deep breath, you open your mouth. "Me and Katelyn heard noises from the playground that night so we decided to check. It was pretty dark and we were tipsy but I recognized you and you were... beating someone up. We stayed there and watched until one of us accidentally made some noise. We were scared that you heard us so we ran. That's all that happened."

You have Seungcheol's full attention now as he listens cautiously, his sharp eyes trained on you. Gulping, you clench your hands together underneath the table, waiting for his reaction. There seems to be an eternity of silence as Seungcheol simply stares at you as if he's debating whether your words are true or not. It's torturous, awfully agonizing and when you can't bear it anymore you're about to speak but he beats you to it.

"I didn't kill him." His voice is quiet. You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. Somewhere in the back of your mind you believed it, you believed he wouldn't be cruel enough to kill someone just like that and as soon as he speaks those words you believe him, without a doubt, without a second of delay.

"I believe you." You whisper, holding his gaze. "That asshole deserved what he got. He shouldn't even be alive but I let him go. He's in a hospital now, if you are wondering." You nod quietly. It's scary how much you believe him, how much you trust him even though he is pretty much a stranger.

There's a moment of silence as you bask in his presence before he speaks, "____, men like me, we aren't the nicest people. But we are needed, the cops need us around. People like me do the dirty works for people like you so y'all don't face troubles. We do things in an unconventional way but that's just who we are. We aren't as bad as the rumours say but we definitely aren't someone you should be with." You open your mouth to protest but his sharp gaze makes you stop. "If you have not understood it yet, let me say it out loud. I am trouble. People like me is always bad news. Whatever we did until now, I hope you forget. That's the best, ____ trust me. I think we both got what we wanted so let's call it a night." Just like that, he stands up, not waiting for your reply.

You gawk at him, baffled as he pays the bill and starts walking away. Tears burn the back of your eyes and you bite your lip to hold them back. The ending that you had expected has taken place but you are having a hard time accepting it. Your subconscious reminds you that you deliberately got yourself into this even though you saw this coming. So there is no one to blame for it but you. Grabbing your purse, you stomp your way out of the restaurant and towards Seungcheol's car.

Seungcheol barely acknowledges you as you both get in the car and he presses the key to the ignition. You are fuming in your seat, his words and the way he dismissed you cutting you deep. His words come to you, I think we both got what we wanted. You want to laugh. How can he possibly think that? Is he really so stupid or is he deliberately ignoring your interest in him? You want to smack his perfect face, curse and scream at him but all you can do is sit still with your arms crossed as steam comes out of your head. Is he really not curious about your feelings? Does he possess none for you? Does these few days with you mean nothing to him? You have so many unanswered questions. Leaning back into your seat, you close your eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.

It feels like in the blink of an eye the drive to your place is over as Seungcheol halts his car in front of your apartment. He does not utter a single word, doesn't even spare a glance at you while patiently waiting for you to get out of the car.

Asshole.

You inhale deeply, trying your best to gather yourself together as you take off your seatbelt and turn towards him.

"Seungcheol?" Few seconds pass before he looks at you. Words are stuck in your throat. When your eyes meet his, you become mute, overwhelmed with emotions as your words die in your tongue. He keeps staring at you, not opening his mouth but waiting for you to speak. "Is this goodbye?" Your voice breaks.

"I believe we don't have any reason to see each other. We both got what we wanted," He says without batting an eye. You're left bemused, one step away from landing a slap on his face. How dare he say that?

"Do you really believe that?" Your words come out as an accusation. "I wanted to go out with you because I thought I have feelings for you! And I do! And my feelings have only increased since I first saw you. I want to see you again, Seungcheol. You may have gotten what you wanted but I didn't." Your fades into a whisper as tears burn the back of your eyes.

Seungcheol stays quiet, staring ahead, his brows knitted as if he's annoyed. "I promised you three dates, ____. And I gave you that. It's over. Your feelings? You'll get over them. It's better to be in pain for a while that be with someone like me."

"You can't say that! I get to decide for myself!"

"____," he sighs, rubbing his temples. "I'm a bad man. You should leave while you still have a good image of me. You'll get hurt because of me and I've caused enough pain to enough people. Just...go. Just forget me." You stare at him as frustrated tears roll down your cheeks. He doesn't meet your gaze but turns his head the other way. You are angry, infuriated and heart broken all at a time. Clenching your fists you inhale a shaky breath before reaching for him.

Before you can chicken out, you tilt his face towards you and quickly press your lips against his. Seungcheol seems to be shocked as a small gasp leaves his mouth but you don't let him push you away. Instead one of your hands come to rest on his thigh as he other cups his face to keep his mouth against yours. You kiss him with all you have left, pouring in every bit of passion and love for him as your tongues intertwine. By the time you are both breathless, Seungcheol gently pushes you back and peers into your eyes. "That's all I can give you, ____." He says, his voice the softest you have heard. You are broken into a million pieces and as much as your heart wants to cling to him, you suddenly feel tired, deflated like a popped balloon. Your emotions have drained you out and left nothing and right now, breathing almost seems too painful for you. Taciturnly, you grab your purse and step out the convertible. You hear another door shut behind you but you don't look back as your heavy steps carry you to the entrance of your building. When you are about to enter your apartment, you accumulate all your strength and courage to spare one final glance at him.

Turning around you see Seungcheol standing by his car, hands in his pockets, simply watching you. Even though your eyes are locked on each other, you don't see any emotion in them. He looks like the same expressionless, mysterious man you saw the first day. The man you fell in love with. Taking in his gorgeous features one last time, you bite your lip and turn away, forcing yourself to walk inside your apartment building.

Your chapter with Seungcheol ends here.

Epilogue

A/N : Okay so idk why this fucking app is being like this but it says I reached the maximum of 250 blocks but I thought tum1r didn't have a word limit?? Anyway so I've decided to break it up and put the rest of the fic in another post. Please click epilogue to read that.

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