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in-my-feels-probably · 2 years

Note

hey! I was the one who requested the Eddie concert situation and I have to say I loved every single bit of it!

I was thinking maybe a Sinclair!reader where Steve and reader have been dating for a while but it's a secret,,, until Erica finds out.

then maybe them trying to shut her up or something, she's so funny I would love to see what you come up with! <33

One Down

Request: I was thinking maybe a Sinclair!reader where Steve and reader have been dating for a while but it’s a secret,,, until Erica finds out. Then maybe them trying to shut her up or something, she’s so funny I would love to see what you come up with! <33

Hi! Thank you so much for the requests you’ve been sending, all your ideas are so cute, I really appreciate the love and support. It's my first time writing for Steve, so I hope I did ok and you like it. Also, I hope it’s ok that I kind of set it between season 3 and 4, it just fits best for my ideas, I’ll change it if you want me to. Sorry that it’s a but short.

(Warnings: swearing, general relationship fluff, let me know if i missed anything)

—

Unlike some of Steve’s past relationships, he wanted everything in yours to be done right. Taking it slow, making sure you both were comfortable, not letting anyone else influence how you were together. He’d had plenty of experiences in high school with his friends trying to embarrass him, or harassing his girl and making them feel bad, and although he wasn’t in high school anymore, he still had some residual fears about messing up and you leaving him because of it. So, he decided to keep your relationship more private, not announcing it to anyone, just letting everyone catch on by themselves.

Keeping your relationship with Steve private around the kids was much easier said than done, however, considering they had no regard for anyone’s personal space or business. With the Byers and El gone in California, they weren’t anything to worry about. Even if one of the kids found out, they hardly had the attention span to remember to include it in any letters.

Still, though, even with the group apart, keeping the relationship a secret was not a very successful task.

Robin was the first to find out, when she was walking to the back room to take her break and tell Steve to clock in, when she found you two, Steve’s face an inch from yours, a dopey grin on both your faces. It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together, and she instantly caught on, cheering and high fiving Steve.

“Nice job, loser!”

Max was the next to pick up on it, but she never told anyone else, and had only mentioned it once to you, asking you about it in the car when you dropped her off back at her house. She had unbuckled, and was moving to get out, when she turned back to you.

“Are you and Steve together?”

You had nervously laughed, trying your best to seem oblivious. “Uh, why do you say that?”

She just shrugged. “You seem happier. And he’s always got that look on his face when he’s around you.”

“What look?”

She had smiled to herself, opening her door and getting out of the car. “The same way I catch Lucas looking at me sometimes. They think we don’t notice, but we do, right?”

You said nothing, cheeks warming at the thought, simply nodding.

You left it at that, and it was all Max had spoken of it to anyone. Steve got a little sweeter around Max after you told him about it, and they seemed to get closer with each other over the shared secret.

The only two people you really had to worry about were Dustin and Lucas. Lucas, because he was your brother, and you knew he’d have plenty to say about his friend dating his sister. And Dustin, who couldn’t keep a secret to save his life, and would sure as hell be all up in Steve’s business, asking questions he didn’t feel like answering.

And plus, if Dustin found out, it was for sure that Lucas and Mike would know, and eventually, Nancy would know.

You had absolutely nothing against Nancy, you liked her and respected how she remained friends with Steve, but it wasn’t as if any part of their relationship was private. As much as you loved Dustin, you knew he would unknowingly find a way to make things awkward between you all, and it was something you’d much rather avoid. You’d cross that bridge when you came to it, but for now, you and Steve wanted to enjoy the peace while you had it.

—

You were sitting in your bed, when Steve knocked on your door, letting himself in. You smiled at him, patting the spot next to you.

“Hi, love. What are you up to?” You asked.

Steve looked at you sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh, well…your brother kind of just gave me permission to date you?”

You shook your head in alarm, sitting up. “What?”

“Yeah, he was leaving on his bike and saw me pull up, and I told him I was just here to pick you up, and he stopped me.”

You groaned, leaning your forehead against Steve’s shoulder. “God, was he weird about it? Did he seem upset? Oh god, he’s gonna tell Dustin! Isn't he?”

Steve laughed at your theatrics, pressing a quick kiss to your hair. “No, actually, he was cool about it. I did get the whole, ‘you hurt her and I’ll kill you’ speech, which frankly would’ve been scarier coming from Erica, but he said it was cool with it, and that it was fine. He also said he wouldn’t say anything about it if I didn’t want him to.”

“Well that was nice of him.”

Steve hummed in agreement, subconsciously fiddling with the hem of your shirt.

You took a deep breath, turning towards him. “Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you…want to tell people? I’m ok with it either way, and it’s not like we’re hiding this huge secret, but I think everyone so far has reacted well enough, it would probably be ok, right? What do you think?”

He smirked, resting his forehead against yours. “I think you want me to kiss you in public, and this was all a ploy to get what you wanted.”

You rolled your eyes, playfully swatting at his arm, but you couldn’t fight the blush that rose to your cheeks. “Steve!”

He laughed, tilting his head back, grinning at the ceiling. The light coming in from your window hit him in all the right places, his eyes sparkling when he turned back to you.

He looked beautiful.

You looked at him with starry eyes, leaning closer to him. “What if it was a ploy? You’re so pretty, how could I not ask you to kiss me?”

A rosy tint graced his cheeks, and he gave you a genuine smile. Your heart raced at the sight.

“Well, you know I can never say no to you, baby,” he murmured, leaning in and pressing his lips to yours.

You smiled into the kiss, reaching a hand up to cup his cheek, the other running through his hair.

Your moment of bliss was interrupted by your door swinging open, and a sharp gasp filling your ears. You quickly pulled away from Steve to see your little sister Erica, standing in your doorway with her hands on her hips, looking at you with scrutiny.

“Oh, you’ve got to be shitting me.”

“Erica! Get out, you didn’t even knock–”

“Be glad I didn’t. I just stopped you from making a very poor decision, no offense Steve. Y/N, what are you doing?” Erica interrogated.

“Kissing my boyfriend, not that it’s any of your business.”

Steve was quiet, watching the interaction, but he felt his heart flutter at the use of the word boyfriend. Erica didn’t look impressed.

“Why does nobody in this house tell me anything? I mean, seriously–”

“Erica,” you said through gritted teeth in a hushed whisper, giving a nervous glance to Steve, who was listening along with a knowing grin on his face. “Now’s not the time for this, we’ll talk about this later, yeah?”

She let out what sounded like a mix of a scoff and a laugh. “You sure as shit better believe we are.”

You nodded, motioning for her to leave, trying to shoo her out. She turned to Steve, looking at him through judging eyes.

“I’m watching you, Harrington. I’ll be speaking to you later. Got that?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Steve was quick to respond, giving Erica a curt nod.

Erica sighed, giving you both an analyzing glance over again, before huffing and marching out of your room, slamming the door a little too harshly.

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath, pinching the bridge of your nose with your fingers. You felt a hand pull yours away from your face, and lips pressing a kiss to the back of your hand, before Steve was intertwining your fingers with his, placing your joined hands in his lap.

“Well, I think that went well. That’s one down, a few more to go.”

—

Hi! I hope y'all enjoyed this. I write for the older characters and will accept requests for them, but know that I mainly right Marauders era content and am also working on existing requests for them, as well as school work, so it may take me a while to get to any requests, but I do appreciate if you send them in and all the love and support everyone has been showing recently!

#wattpad #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #lucas sinclair #erica sinclair #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things

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sunshinereddie · 2 years

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bestie!! another song for you~

I'm sitting here thinking abt (you guessed it) Richie mf Tozier on this fine Saturday afternoon.

Thinking abt the lines:

"something happens / and I'm head over heels / I never find out / till I'm head over heels"

Like... the idea of Richie just being completely oblivious to his feelings for Eddie until "something happens" (*I'm thinking something small & seemingly insignificant*) that leaves him going “oh? oh. oh…”

And it shouldn’t be surprising, not really. All the signs are there. But it’s not something he’d ever really paid attention to. Because girls are pretty enough and he gets the appeal of Bev, she is pretty badass. So what if he has literally zero desire to actually make a move on a girl? So what if he maybe sorta kinda wants to hold Eddie’s hand?

It’s gay, that’s what. And he doesn’t even realize that it’s not normal until someone calls him and Eddie something nasty in like 5th grade. He doesn’t even know what it means but he knows it was filled with vitriol. He asks his parents later that day what the word meant, and they gently explained how it was a bad word for boys who liked other boys.

It didn’t make sense then. Boys who like other boys? Why did that apply to him? He’d just grabbed Eddie’s hand, what was so wrong with that? It didn’t feel wrong. But the way the word had left their mouth made Richie weary nonetheless. He’d been more careful about casual touches after that.

So fine, he didn’t really want to date a girl. But that could easily be explained by the total lack of babes in Derry. And yeah whatever, maybe he did want to hold Eddie’s hand. But he’s his best friend and Richie has always been outwardly affectionate with his friends/family. It’s so easy to ignore, the way his heart speeds up around Eddie. The way he always looks to him to see if his joke landed well. The way he goes out of his way to get Eddie’s attention. It all feels so normal, so right. Until it doesn’t.

*Eddie isn’t even trying to be cute in the moment. He’s not trying to get the others to laugh or going on a rant. He’s quietly existing in the clubhouse, lounging in the hammock with one foot absentmindedly tapping a lazy pattern against Richie’s arm, flipping through a comic. The others are milling about, chatting about this, that, or the other. It’s nice and calm and for once, Richie isn’t keen on breaking the spell. He lays the comic he’d been “reading” down on his stomach, intending to add to the conversation Beverly was having with Ben and Mike about some book they were reading together, but he never gets that far. His eyes find Eddie naturally, he looks up just in time to see Eddie crack a smile at something in the comic he’s reading. It’s silly but his heart speeds up just a little. Eddie of course can feel Richie’s gaze and meets his eye, a grin break out across his face before he turns the comic for Richie to see, “this looks just like you”, it takes everything in him to tear his eyes away from Eddie’s and look at the page. It’s got to be the ugliest motherfucker he’s ever seen with great big glasses taking up half his face. Eddie is giggling behind the page and Richie looks up at him, incredulous, just as the dam breaks and great howling laughter spills from his lips. Richie sputters and kicks Eddie in the side good-naturedly, mutter “asshole” with a fond smile.

It hits Richie then, very suddenly and very forcefully. “God, I love him.” The flush rises up from his chest to the top of his ears, he can feel it burning all the way up. Trying hard to school his features, he looks to the rest of the Losers -who had looked over at the sound of Eddie’s laughter- and asks with as much bravado as he can manage, carefully keeping his voice even, “can you believe this shit?” snatching the comic and turning it so they can see. Everyone laughs at Richie’s offended face and the crisis is averted. No one suspected anything. No one knows that he’s quietly losing his mind. No one ones that he’s completely and irrevocably in love with his best friend.*

I have so much more I could say abt this song and it’s inherent reddie-ness & maybe I will, but I haven’t slept yet so I’ll leave this here for now bestie :,)

-🫀

AAAAAHHHHH YESSS PLEASE THIS SONG IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS OF ALL TIME !!!!!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND YES IT IS SOOOO REDDIE !!!!!!!

this is literally so beautiful, so beautifully written, i don't even have anything to add. just..... AGH. i love them. im just leaving this here and asking everyone to please please please read this whole thing. it's literally so good.

but !!!!!ljrnlgsejrnbgsioergao !!!!!! them lying in the hammock together !!! eddie's way of trying to flirt by teasing richie !!!! the realization of his feelings for eddie hitting richie like a truck all at once !!!!! aaahhh!!!!! it's perfect !!!! this ask is so sweet i want to eat it for desert

#sunshinereddie asks #🫀anon <3 #HEARTIIIIEEEE you’re killing me with these #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #reddie #reddie hc #reddie headcanon #it #it hc #it au #it 2017 #it 2019 #reddie fic

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baguettehead · 3 years

Text

Quarry days

Stan Uris x they/them reader

warnings: some curse words, richie tozer, lil bit of angst, possibly based off of real situations, lil bit of Reddie ;)

Summary: You’ve always had a thing for the brown eyes and mop of curly hair, the voice that made you melt like a Popsicle, but what if you added in scheming friends, darkness, missing gas, and maybe a turtle.

_____________________________________________________

You had known the losers since 6th grade. That was the year your parents decided to make the move from Michigan to Derry, Main. You moved around a lot, and you weren’t even an army brat, your parents just seemed to enjoy hopping from place to place. Your parents owned their own business, all the work was mostly online so it was pretty easy to just up and leave. You were born in Washington state, lived their for a while, then you lived in California for a few years, Colorado for a singular year, Michigan, and now the shithole that is Derry, Maine.

You had no idea why your parents chose Derry, there really wasn’t much here. A few nice shops, a pretty decent arcade, old people with sticks up their butts, and what you thought to be a normal group of neighborhood bullies.

When you moved to Derry you had no one, and at this point you didn’t care enough to try and make friends, you didn’t know if you were staying long. After an tantalizingly long day of being forcefully introduced to classmates and eating lunch alone, in the library, you honestly just wanted a nap.

Leaving the school you were suddenly pushed into the wall next to you, your bag thrown off your shoulder, and coming face to face with the wonderful scent of vodka and utter shit. Must be Bowers. He held you by the shoulder of your shirt with his right hand and with his left he put his forearm on your neck, effectively trapping you to the wall

This was your first encounter with the infamous gang, but you’d heard about them from the few conversations you’d had with kids in classes and passing periods. Let’s just say, he was as disgusting as you’d heard. Has he ever tried a toothbrush before??

“Look at this” he spoke, looking back to his gang of douchbags “Fresh meat” his goons laughed a little while you just rolled your eyes, you’d dealt with your fare share of bullies and asshats that you simply couldn’t bring yourself to care anymore

“look” you said in an exasperated sigh “i don’t have cash, my mom packs my lunch”

“well then” Bowers said “you’ll just have to pay me in another way darling” a disgusting grin overtook his face and his goons began laugh and cheer like they just took a shit on the toilet for the first time

“i’m good” you spoke calmly as you attempted to leave his grasp. Bowers just stared down at you confused for a second before he snapped back into action and held you a little tighter

“it wasn’t a question” he seethed through closed teeth

“and i wasn’t giving a suggestion dipshit”

Henry’s jaw tightened and you could practically see the anger bubbling inside him while his group of misfit toys got real quite

“now listen here you little bit-”

“no you listen asshole” you cut him off “i don’t have time to deal with insecure little boys who didn’t get mommy’s attention as a child and now take it out on all those around him” you spoke quickly faking a pout and slowly worming your way out of his grip “your just some stuck up prick who relishes in the hurt of others because you are so hurt that your deranged little brain finds pleasure making other miserable so that you can fake happiness. News flash, hurting others won’t make you happy, you’ll always be an attention deprived, whiny ass child who probably won’t live past their 30′s, will definitely have a substance abuse issue, and even as a 15 year old attempts to drown his sorrows in vodka and punching kids smaller than him for fun” you finished your little rant, taking in a short breath “now” you continued, marveling at the befuddled looks on all their faces “i have a can of pepper spray in my back pocket and if one of you little rascal looking ass children comes any closer i’ll mace you in the face. Got it”

As soon as you finished you slipped from his grasp and starting running like hell towards your house. You could hear him screaming profanities, and you knew you were now on his hit list, but you really couldn’t find it in yourself to give a shit.

Once you knew you were far enough, you knew he wouldn’t follow you but didn’t want to risk it, you sat on the curb to catch your breath. Almost immediately you saw 4 bikes coming around the corner, the occupants stopping in front of you and throwing their bikes down.

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT WAS INCREDIBLE” the one with coke bottle glasses screamed at you practically screamed at you, you returned a weak smile

“H-h-he’s gonna f-f-fu-fucking kill you” another rushed out

You shrugged your shoulders “ive got a at least a few days” you told them “i wounded his masculinity, gotta build that back up” you muttered

“I can’t believe you did that” the one with the fanny pack stated as he started to pace in front of you “i mean, now bowers and his whole gang are gonna be on your ass” he stopped in front of you and made direct eye contact “your gonna have to watch for him at all times” he deadpanned and you grimaced a little bit

“don’t worry” coke bottle glasses spoke up again “bowers is always on our asses so we can show you the best place to avoid him”

“a-and the hallways to a-a-avoid h-him” the dirty blonde spoke up

you smiled up at them “i’d actually quite like that”

“Then welcome to the losers club y/n” the forth boy spoke up as he held his hand out for you, the one with curly hair and amazing eyes. You had him in two of classes and he always seems to catch your eye. You took his hand and he helped you off the curb before they gave you their unofficial, official, tour of the town.

After that you were practically glued to the four boys, you did everything with them now. And if it wasn’t all of them, you were with at east one practically at all times.

You told them about your moving adventures, even opening up about your constant fear that your parents are gonna pack up and leave forcing you to leave them, and earning Richie’s nickname for you Cali. For some reason Richie couldn’t seem to let go of the fact that you lived in California, asking questions about it whenever there was downtime, and telling you about his dream of living there one day and making it big. You always told him that he could do it, because you truly believed he could.

Soon Bev, Mike, and Ben joined the group, making it 8. You gained your ‘secret’ clubhouse, and Bill, Mike, Stan, and Richie all got their licences.

Now its junior year, you’ve made it almost 5 years in Derry, and you’ve gained the closed friends you’ve ever had

_________________________________________________

“You guys wanna go to the quarry after school?” Richie asked, his mouth half full of turkey sandwich and pretty much yelling over all the noise in the cafeteria. You shuddered and watched as Eddie slapped his shoulder and scolded him for talking with his mouth open, Rich pouting like a child. You loved watching them, a knowing smile on your face.

“sounds like fun” Bev voiced “y/n and i just went swimsuit shopping and they looked killer in their suit” she smirked at you from down the table while you blushed and rolled your eyes

“i mean i’d prefer to see the suit on the floor but whatever your comfortable with” Richie commented

you threw a baby carrot at his face, which he caught in his mouth promoting cheers from the others and for you to dissolve into laughter

“i is s-s-s-supposed to be like n-n-ninety degrees today” Bill added in

“oh fuck that” you groaned as you lent your head on stand shoulder next you and continued munching on your carrots, missing how he smiled down at you

“quarry it is!” Richie exclaimed before everyone else fell back into their conversations

“sooooo” you heard Stan draw out from above you, moving your head to look up at him but leaving it resting on his shoulder “will i get to see this new suit you apparently look amazing in?” he questioned while wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive way. You simply laughed, shoving his shoulder and telling him to shut up.

You’ve had a crush on Stan since 7th grade. You always thought he was attractive, like REALLY attractive, but after getting to know him and spending time together you knew you were fucked.

Bev has tried convincing you that he likes you back but, something in your brain just can’t accept it. She’s gone on and on about how ‘different’ he acts around you, how hes “not such a stuck up prick, he like, actually kinda nice and soft”, her words exactly. But, that was just the Stan you knew, the one you always saw. Caring, kind, funny, and enjoyable.

Bill drove you and Bev to her house, where your suits where from the last time you slept over like 4 days ago, and then took you both to the quarry. Once you got there you saw all the other cars and heard splashing and screaming.

“Those assholes went without us” Bev cried as she ripped the car door open, bolting for the cliff and immediately jumping off. You and Bill just laughed and sat there for a moment.

“r-ready m’lady?” Bill asked as he left the car and extended a hand for you

laughing, you took his hand “Of course good sir”

Bill was already in his trunks so after the short walk up the hill he plunged into the water , full cannonball, soaking almost everyone except Mike who swam out of the way. You watched from the top, laughing as they splashed each other back and forth. Sometimes it was nice to just watch their antics and relish in the moment.

“you coming sweet cheeks” Richie yelled up to effectively drawing every ones attention you

You blushed at the sudden attention “Whatever Tozier” you yelled back before you began stripping down to your swim suit.

Unbeknownst to you at the top of the cliff, you had some effect on poor Stan down in the water. He sat with his eyes glued to you as you exposed more and more skin. He’s seen you in a swimsuit before, hell he’s even seen you in your panties, but every time it still manages to make his mouth go dry and eyes widen.

“They’ll catch you drooling if you stare too long” Richie quipped with a smirk

“Shut it Tozier” he murmured lowering into the water to hide his blush right as you jumped from the cliff.

The eight of you spent hours in the water. Chicken fights, splash wars, and Richie attempting to dunk you, Bill even found a turtle which he claimed meant good luck. You only got out of the water for a bit to dry off before leaving. You and Bev lie on the rocks to dry off and maybe tan, that was, before Mike carried a bucket of water over and splashed you both with started yet another splash war. You finally got out when the sun started to set. You sat around and talked, told stories, before you had to leave. You were all still pretty wet but you didn’t care.

Stan had offered you a ride earlier and you happily agreed, knowing you’d get some alone time with him and ice cream if you begged hard enough.

You layed back on the rocks, to watch the sunset and see the stars starting to pop out.

“alright were heading out” Richie suddenly said

Mike had already left, taking Ben with him due to their stricter curfews. But Rich was taking Eddie and Bill Bev.

“What, why?” Stan said, narrowing his eyes as if he knew they were plotting something

“j-just tired is all” Bill replied casually before he began walking to his car

“bye” Eddie chimed in

“Bye Edds!” you called back

“wait why can she call you that” Rich argued walking side by side with Eddie

“cause i actually like them” He replied casually with a shrug

Richie just huffed and pouted like a child before Eddie nudged his shoulder and he was all smiley again

“See you at school” Bev called, sending a wink in your direction which you replied to with an eye roll

As they walked towards their cars and began to drive away Stan turned towards you “That was suspicious right?”

“completely” you replied climbing down from the rock you previously lied on

“Okay good, it wasn’t just me” he said with a sigh

You laughed a bit “But when are they not suspicious?”

“You got me there” he said before he leaned back on the rock behind him

You crawled over to sit next to him, laying your head on his shoulder and just admiring the sunset. You both sat like that for a while, surrounded by comfortable silence.

One thing about Derry was that no matter how hot the days were the nights seemed to always be freezing, accompanied by wind. You crossed your arms over yourself in hopes of generating more body heat.

“Are you cold” Stan asked taking notice of your shivering form

“Just a bit” you answered not wanting to ruin the comfortable bubble you’d found yourselves in

“i have a blanket in my car” he started to stand up only for you to groan and cling on to his arm. Laughing, he sat back down and you cuddled into his side.

“you’ll catch a cold babe come on” you blushed at the pet name and melted even further into his side when he started combing through your hair with his fingers. Noticing that you weren’t going to budge he huffed a bit, though, he didn’t want to move either.

“I’ll get you ice cream” he sighed

You bounced up with a goofy grin on your face, pulling his hand towards the car

“Lets not waste time” you started “i’m in critical condition, need creamed ice immediately” you feigned sick with a hand to your forehead and pouty eyes. He only laughed, getting up and heading to the car, his hand never leaving yours as you walked to the car.

“what the fuck” he muttered as you reached the car

Tucked under the windshield wiper of his car was a note that said ‘use protection’, clearly in Richies handwriting, and a roll of condoms

You blushed lightly, giggling a bit. Stan looked to with a puzzled expression on his face “i don’t know” you shrugged trying to prove your innocence.

“I don’t understand half the things he does” you comment as you climb into the passengers seat

“does anyone?” he questions with a laugh

Stan throws the note and condoms into the center console before starting up the car. Your bouncing in your seat, the anticipation of ice cream making you giddy and Stan laughs at that. Well, the car doesn’t start. Stan tried multiple times, clearly getting frustrated

“uh Stan” you try and grab his attention, it works, anytime you talk Stan always has his full attention on you. You point towards the gas meter, which displays empty.

“I literally got fucking gas on the way here what the fuck” he exclaims as he gets out of the car, you follow. You see him stop and stare at the gas tank opening

“what?” you question before reaching the other side of the car and falling silent

Right below the gas tank, on the ground, lays a rubber pipe.

“Did they fucking siphon my gas?!” He yells

You stand there for a moment longer, staring at the gas lined pipe, before you break out into hysterical laughter. The pure kind that comes from the belly and leaves you gasping for air with side cramps

“its not funny” he yells

you try to talk but it just dissolves into more hysterics and soon enough Stan is laughing with you, your laugh is just contagious and your radiant smile that could light up the entire galaxy never fail to make him follow along.

After you both calm down, clutching your bellies, you break the silence

“so, what do we do now?” you look over to Stan who’s sitting next to you on the curb

“i guess i’ll call Rich and have him come pick us up” you nod

He stands up, pulling out his phone and calling Rich. You sort of zone out, guess you were more tired than you thought, but your brought back to earth by Stan yelling into the phone. All you could catch was

“what?! No! Hey no no no” and “Fucking asshole” as he ended the call. You new what was coming but you asked anyways

“so?”

“He said hes not coming” Stan sighed in defeat as he sat next to you and lied his head on your shoulder. Your hand immediately immersed itself in his hair, gently scratching his scalp and brushing through his curls. You sighed wondering how the fuck you were gonna get out of this one.

“what about Mike and Bill?” you questioned

“in on it” he sighed out and you hummed in response. You both sat there for a moment, in comfortable silence, trying to calm Stan down.

“did he say anything els-”

“do you like me?” Stan’s head rose from your shoulder, looking you in the eyes and cutting off your sentence. You felt your mouth go dry, eyes widening, cheeks getting hot and probably bright red.

“i- uh- well” you stuttered out, really having no clue how to answer that question

“I mean” he started, sighing and nervously running a hand through his head of wild curls “not in a …. friends way” he finished slowly, meeting your eyes

He had a blush of his own covering his cheeks and his marvelous brown eyes danced all over your face as if looking for the answer there. You sat there staring at him for what felt like forever, running over your choices. Just as the though of running away and joining the circus came into your mind you felt a surge of confidence and smashed your lips into his.

He tasted like mint, salt, and something you could only describe as Stan.

Your lips moved together perfectly, dancing around each other in the best dance you’d ever preformed. Teeth hitting teeth as the years of desperation and pining were finally put to a rest. His arms snaked around your waist, pulling you into his lap to straddle him, as yours wound around his neck and wove into his hair.

You both pulled away panting. His lips barely leaving yours, still ghosting over them like a precursor for whats to come. You stared into his eyes, you could get lost in those brown orbs so easily, drowning hopelessly in their beauty and dying happily. Stan was the first to break the silence

“yes?” he questioned

you threw your head back and laughed heartily. The sight alone made him melt in your hands and the sound dug his grave. The brilliant smile you flashed him afterwards felt like the afterlife and when you leaned down to capture his lips one again he knew he was in heaven.

“yes” you breathed as you pulled away from him, as difficult as it was

Stan smiled so brightly and let out a little cheer before falling right back into your lips and kissing you more passionately than anyone ever has and you doubt anyone ever will. There you sat, Straddling Stanley Uris in an empty parking and kissing him until you were gasping for breath.

You pulled away from Stan, leaning your forehead on his, pressed into his chest, barely inches away. He leaned up and peppered your face in small kissing causing you to break into giggles.

“I love you y/n y/l/n” he spoke softly into the night air

You stared into his chocolate eyes, in complete euphoria

“I love you too Stanley Uris” you told him with the most confidence you have ever had in a statement.

#it #it cast #stanley uris #it book #it movie #stanley uris x reader #x reader #reader x stanley uris #stan the man #it fic

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thoughtfullyyoungduck · 3 years

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can you do a teen losers club x reader on how they comfort the reader during a depressive stage

A/N: Sorry it took so long! I hope you still enjoy! I just want to stress that all the headcanons I wrote here are based on my own experiences with depression. I know everyone experiences this differently, so please know I’m not trying to invalided anyone!

Warning: mentions of depression

- It’s difficult to predict when a depressive episode of yours will be occurring

- There are no outward signs, as you are very good at pretending everything is fine.

- Inwards though, your mood starts the deteriorating and the smile you have to conjure up your face every time you hang out deters the closer you get to an actual depressive episode.

- The only sign that is noticeable to the losers, is that you’re a lot more irritable.

- That’s a hard symptom to spot though, because their group is so diverse and it happens from time to time that someone does something that rubs the other the wrong way.

- You’re always very patient with everyone, even Richie’s overachieving and at times insensitive jokes, but right before an episode, you’ll at best ignore them, and at worst beep him.

- But again, sometimes little fights break out among the group, so it’s not that unusual

- They’ll know that a depressive episode has started when you cancel without a reason.

- You would never pass an opportunity to bike around town with your friends otherwise, but during the first few days of your depressive episode (when you feel at your lowest because of the impending days of hell waiting for you), you prefer to be by yourself.

- The only way you communicate is by calling them to cancel the plans, and then you crawl back in your bed.

- The losers at first leave you too (they found out from experience that you hate to be coddled and Gavin the vicinity of other people

- Of course this saddens the losers, because they want nothing more but to go over to your place and comfort you to the best of their abilities, but they understand you need some alone time.

- They do call regularly. They can’t stop themselves from at least doing that.

- After about two days, they’ll start hanging out at your house.

- Most of the time they’ll talk amongst each other or watch a movie while they cuddle with you.

- Never forcing you to talk of anything, because they respect that you can’t conjure up enough energy to do that.

- Side note; the losers all have various experiences with depression.

- Some may not have (had) it, but they have seen someone near them that was suffering from it.

- So they try to encourage you through what they believe is the best option, and how they would have liked to be cheered up.

- I think Eddie would be a bit of a hard ass.

- Not that he’s unsympathetic to what you’re dealing with, but he’s a health freak, and he read that excercing can help with overcoming a depressive episode.

- Which is true, but going to school and getting you work done is hard enough without getting yourself out of bed and into work out gear.

- So he really tries to convince you to do yoga with him, as your form of sport. (It leads to Richie’s big gay crises, and it draws a laugh out of you for the very first time since you have been feeling dragged down)

- Sometimes you can persuade yourself into getting up (it really depends on the day) and then you feel elated that you managed to do something, but others days you refuse to move, and Eddie’s insistence only leads to insecurity and you labeling yourself as Lazy.

- But you know Eddie means no harm by it, so you appreciate his efforts.

- Bev does things a little different.

- She’s very intuitive to people’s mood, so when she comes up with a plan to help you, and she sees you’re not up for it, she’ll postpone.

- She manipulates your kindness and generosity towards others and turns it around to you.

- Showering and keeping yourself clean, though it’s advice to do in order to get better, can be so hard to do, so she instead asks if you can help her with for example: braiding her hair

- No matter how bad you feel, you’ll always be there for your friends, so you say yes.

- You’ll braid her hair or paint her nails, or give your opinion about a clothing item, and in turn, Bev will do the same for you.

- It’s not much, but, having your hair combed, or changing clothes sometimes can make a world of difference.

- Richie and Stan will aid with doing every day chores, like homework or doing the dishes or something.

- Of course Richie also cracks jokes and tries his impression on you to make you laugh, but he’s also really smart and can do his homework without ever paying attention in class.

- So he and Stan take some of the workload of off you, so you can focus primarily on your mental health.

- Ben helps by talking to you. You’re not always up for a talk, because it’s hard to formulate the mess in your head, but if you do, Ben is always the person to go to.

- He won’t try to find a solution, but he’ll just be there to listen to you

- Mike bakes a lot of goodies for you to munch on.

- You’re supposed to eat healthy food, but Mike chooses baked goods that are both healthy and tasty, and sometimes a little indulgent.

- Freshman year in high school Mike got a dog from his grandfather, and he’ll take him with him to your house from time to time, so you can snuggle with the cute little thing.

- Finally, Bill writes you stories about going on far away travels, with you and the losers as the main characters.

- You like to read them because they help you escape your current situation, and also because the stories are a kind of promise, that your feelings will end and that one day you’ll be able to go anywhere you want with all your friends by your side.

- It takes a while, but eventually the efforts of the losers come to bloom.

- You appreciate everything the losers do for you, and you hope they know that you would do the same thing for them.

#richie tozier x reader #eddie kaspbrak x reader #bill denbrough x reader #stanley uris x reader #ben hanscom x reader #beverly march x reader #mike hanlon x reader #my writing #the losers club imagines #it imagines

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babytortie · 3 years

Text

unexpected

unexpected. ❘ stanley uris x reader.

a/n: this was requested by anon - love ur recent stanley fic! was wondering if you’re cool with doing a smut for him? (aged up of course!) if you’re comfortable, could you make the reader more dominant in bed/stanley being more submissive? perhaps and enemies to lovers, hate sex type. other than that, any plot line is just fine.

* hope this lives up to your expectations! tyty for requesting this one.

summary: in which stanley and reader argue worse than richie runs his trashmouth. after burning some pent-up tension one day, the two take a turn for the better and become more than just enemies.

warnings: s m u t. some fluff at end. <3

contains: enemies to lovers, degrading, hair tugging, harsh kisses w/ slight blood, mild orgasm denial, praises, rough and unprotected sex.

* all characters ( including reader ) of the loser's club are 18+ in this one-shot.

~ 3.4k words.

you twirled a strand of hair between your fingers, a magazine placed on your lap, and beverly's head rested on your shoulder, looking at the pages with you.

it was the summer and the group was all back home on break from college. the loser's wanted to hang out and all eight of you were at bill's house right now. on various couch cushions and seats in the living room. his parents were away for the night and the seven brought clothes to stay at his just in case it got a bit late.

"oh, do you think he's hotter? or him?" bev asked, leaning in closer to point at the page. it was some magazine about the hottest actors of the year, achievement wise. though some hot men that were in it was currently grabbing beverly's, well, and your attention too. you glanced down at the page, slightly comparing both actors and voiced, "definitely him."

the guys overheard this and rolled their eyes. they were taking turns playing on bill’s newest nintendo sixty-four. on the floor below you, sat the four a few feet away, this was because they wanted to be scooted closer to the television. even though it was perfectly fine to put their backs against the couch. typical males.

you worried for their eyesight, especially richie’s, since right now he and bill were battling on some game you didn’t know the name of while being too close to the screen. eddie was on a chair next to the couch and sat by you, wheezing as he watched how close of a tie it was between them. mike and stanley were sitting on the floor with them on either side, cheering on who they wanted to win.

this was while ben sat on the other side of bev and read some book that just came out earlier this week. a quarter of ben’s focus was on his hand. it was resting on beverly’s thigh and drawing small, mindless shapes in content. the two were newly dating after pinning on each other for forever.

"i think we should play would you rather!" mike turned his head and suggested after hearing your conversation with the red head. bill had just died on the game causing richie to jump up and cheer while blowing out the other three's ear drums.

ben closed his book and sat up straighter. he took a glimpse over at beverly to see what her decision was. eddie hesitantly agreed when you and bev nodded. “s-sure!” bill got up and pulled stan with him.

one weekend about four years ago when the denbrough’s were home and bill had the group of losers over, they noticed how you all squished on the seats in the living room. surprising bill with an extra couch a month after this, they were able to successfully squeeze it into the room and push it against the other wall.

the four others started to pile on the other couch a few feet away from the three of you and eddie who still sat on the single chair next to you. beverly pulled her head up and leaned over to whisper in your ear, “be nice to stanley please.”

knowing it wasn’t funny, looking at her anyway with a confused expression, you lied. "stanley who?" she immediately turned her neck back at you, probably receiving some whiplash and raised an eyebrow to challenge you.

"i'm serious y/n." beverly laughed dryly. you sighed and replied a short agreeable response. “alright bev, as long as he doesn’t start it, then i won’t do anything.” after, you zipped your lips and threw an imaginary lock in the direction behind eddie.

she smiled at you in thanks and then you two turned towards the room, noticing everyone was ready. “b-being as it w-was mike’s id-dea, he can g-go first.” bill announced while glancing around the room.

mike nodded and turned to the one who still wore coke-bottle glasses years later. “richie, would you rather never wear underwear again or never wear socks again?”

ben and bill stifled a laugh, already knowing what his response was going to be. eddie rolled his eyes as richie answered, “underwear since i go commando sometimes anyway.”

you put your finger in your mouth, pretending that you were about to throw up and mike shook his head at richie. you turned to your right and left, seeing eddie’s and beverly’s disgusted faces.

”okay, eddie spaghetti.” he paused. the seven of you looked at eds, who had already put his hand over his face in annoyance. you and beverly laughed when the shorter boy muttered, “here we go.” richie smirked and continued. “would you rather, accidently send a nude to your boss or your parents? and by parents i mean your mom and i.”

he rolled his eyes, “absolutely not richie. my mom would never get with you and i would die of embarrassment if it were sonia. she’d probably kidnap and lock me in my old room, never to be seen again. probably boss.”

eddie turned to you after the group cackled of laughter, especially richie at the response he was given. the two of you currently shared a science class together in college and the asthmatic based some of his question off of this. "alright y/n, would u rather hook up with one of football players or with mr. jackson down at the science lab?”

you placed the palm of your hand on your cheek, into a thinking position and replied. "well, i kind of answered that question at last weekend’s party?" beverly jumped up at this and gasped. "no way! with which one?"

"i don’t kiss and tell." you smirked. the others gagged at that. “ah okay, i see. that’s where you went when we couldn’t find you again.” ben commented. stanley had been a bit quiet during the conversation and decided to speak up. adding to this, while looking at you pointedly. "you kind of just did tell and admitted at the fact that you sucked off some guy.”

you weren’t usually the type to get flustered during conversations like this. instead owning it as if you weren’t bothered. this helped you avoid any teasing or any richie’s usual jokes. "at least i'm getting some!" muttering in stanley’s direction.

"i swear if you guys argue for one more minute, i'm going to shoot myself. go y/n. it’s your turn." mike spoke up in between you and stanley, trying to get the game rolling again.

you smiled, feeling a little eager at the next question. you looked at the curly haired sitting across the room from you. the others groaned knowing you were about to pick on him in some kind of way. "uris. for the rest of your sex life, would you rather be the top or bottom?”

he blinked in your direction, probably wanting to smack you for the inappropriate question. “depends, is it with anyone specific?” you looked down sheepishly, then back up. is this a trick question? i mean sometimes you did find stanley a little bit too attractive. “do you want it to be?” deciding to quip back with equal attitude, you asked.

the group looked between the two of you while waiting for a response from uris. the tension was so thick that it could be cut with a knife. letting out a scoff in return, he looked at you in the eyes and glared. speaking in a low tone, you almost didn’t hear him. "uh, i don’t know.”

"what do you mean? you don’t know?" richie snickered.

bill, beverly, ben, and mike started to get the picture together. eddie figured it out just a second before them, when you burst out giggling. before you could stop from helping yourself, you let out a harsh jab. “oh shit, that explains why you’re always so uptight! maybe you should unbutton some of that polo? might help so you aren’t choking on all that innocence."

that only made matters worse, the last pin in place to set him off. stanley angrily spewed some words under his breath. only catching your name, you figured it was most likely something badly about you. quickly getting up from his spot, his curls bounced up and down when he rushed upstairs to one of the bedrooms.

the others watched him disappear from the top step sadly and looked back at you with the look. you had the decency to look a bit guilty, an awkward grimace on your face. "uh, why are you all looking at me like that?"

eddie leaned over to elbow you and gave his puppy dog eyes in pleading. you sighed but started getting up anyway. you laced your hands together in front of your stomach, nerves a bit jittery at being in a room alone with him. "well, to state my case we were all having that kind of discussion! if he wasn't such a prude..." you trailed off.

ben got up, patting your shoulder. "we all know this but stanley is sensitive about these kinds of things. go apologize while we're on break now and we’ll get some drinks going."

you nodded and turned back around, starting towards the stairs and walked up slowly. richie decided this was a good time to be the loud trashmouth that he is and shouted. "it was nice knowing you, y/n!"

shaking your head, you reached the last step and rounded the corner. hearing a slap noise, you assumed tozier was probably getting hit on the back of his head. a moment later a "beep beep" came from mike and you let out a small laugh in relief that they had your back against the loud mouth.

strolling down the hallway, you spotted the second guest bedroom door closed and decided to knock on it. stan heard a faint knock and got up from the bed to open it, seeing y/n he groaned. "oh, it's just you."

you ignored his disappointed comment and bit your lip. looking up and down to observe his new look. he must have just changed. wearing a regular light blue t-shirt and grey sweats. you shook your head and looked up to see his grin, catching you in the act of checking him out.

rolling your eyes in response, like he usually did and walking around him, you closed the bedroom door shut after stepping inside. you grabbed a handful of stanley’s shirt and pushed him against the back of the door. more like he allowed you to do this but you were definitely in control of the situation.

you leaned in towards him and swiped the back of your thumb over his bottom lip to test his reaction. when he didn’t swat your hand away, you went on the tip of your toes and brushed his lips against yours.

stanley gasped into your mouth and deciding to use this as an opportunity, you placed the tip of your tongue on the bottom of his lip. right before you could actually do this, he apparently read your mind and left his mouth open purposely. you wanted to slap him.

nonetheless, he allowed you total access. surprising him on purpose, you shoved your tongue in his mouth. wishfully thinking about how you wanted to somehow choke him with it. he grabbed both sides of your shoulders and scooted you closer, clashing his teeth with yours. not wanting to let up the control he tried to grab, you grasped the back of his neck tightly and felt light-headed. sensing wetness pooling between your thighs from enjoying this too much, you cursed to yourself.

a small moan escaped out from your lips and as if it was his fault, you nipped his bottom lip. you tried to quickly get rid the thought of ever giving into stanley uris. he hissed sharply, tasting slight blood from the nick. uris mumbled. "bitch."

this angered you more. pulling away from his lips, you put on a fake smile. moving in a bit closer to mess with the collar of his shirt, you tugged on it roughly, your face still close with his. "ready to not be a virgin anymore, virgin?" you retorted.

he smirked, "as long as i'm not one anymore, i don't care who it's with. even someone like you." he emphasized in a nasty tone. you pulled the shirt up over his head and uttered out. "shut the hell up." stan hummed happily after his shirt was pulled up to see that you were glaring from his reply. the two of you heard loud steps down the hall by the stairs, so you placed a finger over his mouth.

after a moment later, you heard what you assumed was someone in the bathroom, closing door the shut. letting out a breath not realizing you were holding it, stanley took this as a distraction to slip your finger into his mouth. you gasped, eyes widening, "what the hell!"

pulling your hand back, you spoke and stared in his eyes to let him know just how serious you were. "here's how it's going to go if you want to get laid, uris. we're doing this my way. don't play around anymore and definitely don’t talk too much so i can picture literally anyone other than you."

stanley looked into your eyes, searching for any hints of a lie from your remark. when he saw your eyes looking clearly back into his, he sighed in defeat. not letting it show, he grinned nastily. ”fine by me, y/l/n.”

"now, bird-boy are you sure you can handle this?" you stated more than questioned, an eyebrow quirked up. you held onto the top of his sweats with an eyebrow quirked up. he clenched his jaw, gritting his teeth together so hard he hoped they wouldn't crack. "fuck you y/n."

“no, that’s what i’ll be doing to you.” disagreeing and putting your palm over him. “what do we have here?” you asked out loud, in general all snarky. he let out an annoyed noise when he felt you tease fingertips across his hard length. so, in retaliation, he grabbed your wrist and pushed the palm of your hand harder onto him.

you gasped at how big he was. you tried to cover the surprise, a ‘tsk, tsk’ falling from your lips. not letting go quickly enough stanley noticed this and smirked at you. frowning, you murmured. "ever heard of patience? such a bad boy."

uris let out a small, quiet groan from feeling your hands come off of him. which was something you caught and figured having teased him enough, you put your hands around the waistband of his pants. tugging them off along with his boxers. afterwards you pushed him down onto the bed and before he could do anything, you quickly made work of your shirt. pulling it over your head and unclipping your bra as well.

he put a hand through his curls, smoothing them out from the fall when he fell into the comforter. watching you, he could feel himself hardening painfully. he felt needy and done with the wait. pulling your wrist closer he pleaded. “come on, hurry. please y/n.”

”fine, you’ve waited long enough like a good little boy.” stanley flushed at your approving compliment and tried to hide it, looking down. you saw this when you moved to sit on top of him and smiled. grabbing his chin lightly, you tilted his head back up. while looking into his light brown eyes, you held his wrist and tugged his hand so it laid over on top your breast.

stanley’s breath hitched and you moved inwards toward his neck. your warm breath was touching his skin, feeling cheeks reddening more. uris felt, palmed, and squeezed a little as you sucked small hickeys on his neck. not to dark but enough to be just visible if one were close up.

kissing his cheek and tilting back up, he dropped his hand and you happened to see his cheeks and neck all red. the quick switch of his attitude still shocked you to the core. ”are you sorry for calling me a bad name, baby?” he ignored your comment like a brat and kissed the inside of your wrist. you melted a little in his touch before going back to the task at hand.

you slowly let out of his grasp to unbuckle the belt and unbutton your shorts. you shimmied out of them and wanting to hurry up, you just moved your panties to the side and out of the way. pumping him a few times, you started to align him to your center. before you moved down onto him, you placed your hand on his cheeks in a sweet gesture and silently asked for reassurance. he nodded and you slowly slid down into him, both of you letting out small moans. “feel so good.” you muttered.

stilled for a moment, you let yourself adjust to his length and him to the feel. your hips went back up and you moved in forward, kissing him again. it slowly turned into a sloppy make out when you slammed your hips back down again. his tongue shoved in your mouth when you gasped in pleasure. after you found a rhythm you babbled on and on about how stanley was doing so good for you.

"i need you to put your fingers on my clit and rub." you said softly but still in a demanding tone. directing his hand exactly where you wanted it, you nodded when he looked at you again. his fingers moved quickly, drawing out an orgasm that you felt nearing.

lacing your fingers through his curly hair. stanley let out a loud moan as you tugged the locks. "now for the sake of you being able to cum, i'm going to ask again. are you sorry my baby boy?" he really didn't want to have to see the satisfactory in your face if he apologized. though, after a small moment went by, he realized that you weren't joking.

he let out a small, almost incoherent whine. pleading you with his big hazel eyes, "i-i'm sorry y/n. so sorry, c-can i cum please?" stanley would have never thought he'd be the submissive type but he found himself melting at your praises, quite easily. he liked letting you have some control and for once being able to sit back.

you smirked at him and let go. patting his cheek in almost a mocking way. "awe such a good boy but i think you can wait another minute." his eyes widened and you placed your hands back up onto his chest, steadying your balance before moving your hips back up and down repeatedly and harshly against his. he moaned when you kept going back down on his cock. feeling his pelvis right up against your very sensitive bundle of nerves, you squirmed.

stanley smirked, feeling you tighten around him. knowing you were close was a relief. constantly feeling so good on him made him hard and straining inside of you. tears prickling in the back of his eyes and wanting to cum so badly was difficult. uris felt not wanting to disobey you was more important as he patiently waited. pushing harder on your clit is what caused you to unravel, tightening completely around him. "oh fuck! s-such a good boy. cum with me now."

he came so hard, the hardest ever. which wasn't much to go off on, from the obvious conversation before. feeling euphoria, you rode through your high and his, milking every last drop of cum. you started to feel shaky. before your hips gave out, you placed one last kiss on his slightly darkening hickey.

after you fell on the bed next to him, he pulled you close. you turned your head in his embrace, eyes widening. you knew without a doubt they looked like they were probably about to fall out of the sockets. assuming even bigger eyes then richie's usual ones due to his glasses.

uris pursed his lips, kissing the top of your forehead before he could overthink it. “we need to talk. y/n/n." you tried to open your mouth, but closed it again. stanley used your nickname, he has never used it before. you were in disbelief, frozen, and unable to say a word. he rescued you and spoke up again. "you know i don't hate you, right?"

you swallowed feeling like a brick was falling from your shoulders and nodded. "i don't hate you either stan. this is not what i was expecting though to make up." you giggled causing him to chime in. the awkwardness was finally settled but you paused and asked nervously. "do you think we're worse than eddie and richie?"

he shook his head, not even needing to think on it and responded sweetly. "no, we're okay now and i have a feeling that richie will tease eddie even after we're all dead."

you laughed together once more, agreeing with stan’s opinion which would probably be a proven fact one day. "that's true. poor eddie!" snuggling closer into his back and finally, truly feeling at peace.

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yurtletheturtlehenderson · 3 years

Text

Scars That Heal || Eddie Kaspbrak x Reader Series

• Ch. 11: Under Pressure •

TRIGGER WARNINGS: blatant homophobia from Nicklesmart The Beatboxing Jester™️ in disguise as someone you know, internalized homophobia throughout the whole chapter. As usual, will put a skip marker for the heavier scene before and after if you need/want to skip. It is not light, ngl 😔 [trigger words: f*iry + the f slur, each used on exactly one occasion, and (as an insult) queer. I'm so sorry, this was not easy for me either and please do not read this if any of this in any way bothers you, i won't be mad if you skip the chapter 💕]

A/N: Next chapter will be all fluff I promise 🥲, I'm so sorry, but I needed something that could solidify Richie and Y/n's friendship for good, and her helping him through his worst fear is the best way to do that and will be explored in other ways throughout the rest of the series, specifically in the sequel. all that aside, I missed you guys and this series so much!!

LGBTQ+ RESOURCES AND SELF HELP LINKS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE CHAPTER

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

- 𝗔𝗨𝗚𝗨𝗦𝗧 -

Richie keeps his eyes trained on the dried mud on his navy blue slip-ons as he makes his way across town, his mind buzzing twice as fast as it normally did. He felt as if his entire body had been put through a blender; his skull still vibrating in his head turning his brain into jelly. His stomach empty and lurching as it twisted into knots far more impossible than what you'd see from a circus performer and his heartbeat could rival a hummingbird's. Not to mention he was walking with two extra legs he'd grow from time to time, another freaky affect the physical and mental toll these past few weeks had put on him and his eyesight. The caffeine he had been living on hadn't helped him one bit either he reckoned.

Insomnia had become his best friend in the past few weeks, hence this last-minute trip to the old gravel pit just behind Derry Town dump. At least, this was the lie he told himself to pluck up enough courage to call Y/n up. Richie hoped she could talk him through it, give him some advice. He was never this nervous to talk to her and deep down in a corner he wished to bury forever - that small part of himself that begged to be free - knew exactly why. This small, repressed Richie Tozier that lived locked away in the center of his heart was calling the shots that day. Hell, he probably had been his whole life but he wasn't ready to admit that to himself yet, let alone his true attentions of seeking her help.

All he knew is he was nervous as all hell, his palms were sweating, he couldn't stop fiddling with his glasses and he was sure one wrong move and he'd shit his pants. For fucks sake, he needed to shake this! He had already freaked Y/n out, that he knew. He could still hear her voice over the receiver. It was soaked in static and every 's', or 'c' sound she made felt like a pencil was being shoved into his eardrums cause of her shitty outdated telephone.

"You," she had asked with a pause. "want to meet at... the dump?"

"Yeah," he scoffed, scratching the same spot behind his ear for what had to be the billionth time out of nervous habit. "you got wax in your ears, L/n?"

"Nope. Just, a little confused is all. You seem kinda... I don't know, squirrely," she said wearily, and through a sharp crackling hiss from the receiver he can make out a nervous chuckle on her end. "You sure nothin' jumped up your ass or anything?"

He bit his lip. Hard. As if punishing himself for drawing her suspicions this early. What if she somehow caught on to what he was gonna talk to her about? Her walk to the gravel pit would surely give her enough time to get to that conclusion, and Richie wasn't daft. He knew he wasn't exactly subtle about... "insomnia". What with how many times he teased insomnia, called it that special nickname he knew it hated but secretly loved. That forbidden flutter in his chest when insomnia would laugh at his jokes, and the small but precious moments they shared from time to time when the others were late that would stay in his heart and mind for weeks to come. But it didn't matter now, as everyone knew; insomnia kept Y/n's company now.

Thankfully his mouth was faster than his brain, and it fired a rapid response before a lull could form.

"You bet your fur," he fires, his lanky arm had rested awkwardly against the wall beside the wall mount. "I am right as rain, toots."

He of course hadn't seen it, but she had frowned at her phone. Her concern was growing with every word spoken from him.

"Yeah," she snorts, throwing back a sarcastic remark. "Cause you sound it."

She had eased a bit, growing soft and falling back into their usual banter. Their special dynamic always seemed to coax down his guard a bit.

"You're talking like a 1950's gangster in a speakeasy," She straightened a little and had begun pacing as much as the phone cord would allow her. "Ya know... More than usual."

Y/n smiled when she could practically hear the smirk taking over his face, and she certainly had no trouble picturing his hunched shoulders and intimidating snarl he was most likely dawning.

"It's a little somethin' called moxie, kid," he spoke with curled his words, imitating all the gangsters he had seen in those cheesy old films. "somethin' you just don't have,"

Y/n had rolled her eyes again, at least Richie could see her doing so when he heard her respond. "Right, right. My bad Baby Face."

"Hey!" He barked, snapping his fingers and pointing at the floor as if she could see him. His voice lowered in a thick Chicago accent. "That's mista Baby Face to ya."

"Mista Baby Face Nelson!" She strained, her annoyed shout tainted with a laugh. "Are we meeting at five or not?"

Richie released a quick and silent breath, expelling as many nerves as possible.

"You bet your fur."

The exchange kept playing over and over in his mind and Richie wondered if the same rang true for Y/n. He hoped not, cause that would mean she was thinking about it too much. Hell, he was thinking about it too much now. A heavy sigh rolls off of his chest as every anxiety collectively manifests into its own dark thought.

Fuck, he really had it bad.

How pathetic he was.

Eddie would surely be horrified to know what Richie really thought of him, that was for sure.

And as if he hadn't felt crazy enough, the thoughts actually began to feel like voices calling him from the darkest shadows of his mind.

'And the other Losers? You'll be lucky if they even look at you again.'

Richie was surprised to find himself fighting back, pushing back as much as he could. Despite all the jokes and jabs, he couldn't be completely alone. A small part whispered in his heart that he wasn't, and he thought briefly of the turtle strangely enough but it was gone just as soon as it had come. All he knew was that whatever was telling him this thing was stubborn. But so was Richie Tozier.

He treated it as an intrusive thought. Made a decision then and there that it was, never occurring to him what it could be if wasn't.

No way. Not those assholes, he tells the voice. These are the Losers for fucks sake!

The more he thought about it the more he was sure of it. God forbid Eddie did find out, which Richie had no intention of, and what would happen was in fact unclear. But no matter how he looked at it, he just couldn't picture the little spaghetti man ever cutting him out of his life completely. Not by choice at least.

Now Ben, that lovable sappy haystack of his that was too passionate for his own good. Richie may not be the silent type but he does pick up on things, and Hanscom's affections for Beverly Marsh were far from subtle. Always opening doors for her and turning redder than a tomato when she smiled at him. Not to mention Richie was about ninety percent sure there was a poem of some sort involved. And that was just Beverly, Ben was always thinking of the Losers. Now Richie knew for sure that boy had no hateful bone in his body to the point it was fucking annoying.

Mike, Richie felt, might be a little similar. The kid had a lot of heart, always going on about the animals on his farm. Would even go as far to say he considered them his friends, what with how much Richie knew about Mooriuel the calf and he hadn't even met her for cripes sake! Richie imagined he'd be a bit more shocked but would try some sappy speech when he came around. Would make a whole big thing of it, pat him on the back, and even invite a conversation. He scoffed at the thought, the image of Mike slapping him on the back and his signature grin... Yeah, he appreciated the hypothetical gesture but it wasn't Richie's style.

He could easily see Big Bill sputtering up a storm, but managing a smile. He'd probably even manage to forget their differences long enough to say something stupid but supportive. And Beverly and Stan were the ones he worried about the least. Stan would probably be too indifferent to care, throw him some snarky ass comment like, "took ya long enough, dipshit," and Beverly? Well, Beverly had always been cool, very laid back. She never took shit, and she never dished it out if she didn't think it was deserved which Richie admired greatly. This was one of many reasons he was so shocked she had taken Bill's side in the fight.

The thought brings him back down again, and as soon as the memory touches him so do the nerves in his jaw tensing up again where he had been hit. He could feel the punch all over again. And he suddenly remembers why he is here.

He is here, he realized.

Just around the bend, coming into view was the gravel pit. Old and crumbling it was, and overrun with weeds and bushes. One could easily scale in and out of it, and at the very bottom Rich had discovered one day was a beaten and tattered leather seat from a car that found its way from the junkyard just a ways over. This was where he told Y/n to meet him.

Y/n...

Jesus fuck, what would Y/n say? How would he tell her? Would she still wanna be friends with him? Would she laugh and crack a joke, not taking it seriously? Would she hate him for it? More importantly, why in the ever-loving fuck was he here and willing to tell her?

His gangly legs tumble into a sprint as he picks up momentum descending the uneven terrain. The rubber soles of his shoes kicking up the layers of dirt and shaved gravel that lay beneath the rocks and he had to put effort into not crashing as he comes to a stop. He manages to avoid a nasty fall, completely ignorant to the fact that his right foot had been only inches away from a root peeking out from the rocks surely would have broken his neck had he made even one wrong move. He puffs out his chest, dusting himself off, and once again tries to dispel the nausea broiling in his stomach like hot tar.

He closes his eyes tiredly as he drags his feet to the leather bench, letting his backside fall through the air and into the somewhat plush cushion with a deep groan. "Fuck."

His fingers rub his tired eyes, his fingertips finding bits of crust he hadn't gotten earlier and his knuckles brush his glasses further up onto his forehead. Not quite knowing what to do with the overwhelming thoughts and emotions clouding him, his fingers dig further into his eye sockets until all he can see are inky splotches behind his eyes.

Richie doesn't know why he would ever think those things of Y/n. He hadn't ever told her this, not directly at least, but she was just about the only person in the world he trusted most. He knew in his heart of hearts this was why he found himself dialing her number before he could even register what he was doing. Even after their separation and the bitter feelings they took with it, the Losers were and always would be his best friends in the world.

So why did everything about this feel so wrong?

From the moment the phone call ended, he felt like he was waltzing into a trap like some putz...

"Well, look who it is..." snarled a voice from up above the surface.

Richie's blood ran cold and it felt as if the remainder of the air in his lungs had been squeezed out like air in a deflating balloon. He whipped around at the voice, his head twisting up at the silhouetted figure so fast he was shocked he hadn't broken his own neck. The figure held their hands on their hips, thousands of the sun's rays spilling around them as they blocked out a part of the sun, an advantage they reaped from where they stood before Richie at just the right angle. His breath caught in his throat as he had recognized the voice immediately, but the figure didn't quite match the voice.

The last thing person he needed to see right now was Henry fucking Bowers, that was for sure.

The universe agreed so it would seem. The figure shifted, just out of the light revealing the teasing smirk of his best friend Y/n. Her hands snapped together, her palms forming a handgun, the barrel aiming right at Richie's forehead.

"The jig is up," she snarled. "We knows it was you. You was the ones to steal from Big Bill's dame, and I wouldn't be surprised if yous was in cahoots, neithers."

Despite the fear that had clutched his heart only seconds ago, a small chortle left Richie at how awful her accent was. Hadn't she learned anything from him? A smug smile overtook Y/n's face as he broke. She holstered her handguns and gracefully descended the pile of gravel. His smile expired not long after, and despite the thin veil of clouds creeping over the sun the light in the sky was much too hard to even glance at his friend without blinking back several painful searing tears from the harsh light. But he could still make her out.

She was dressed in her usual ratty and eclectic garb; a mix of something far too big for her frame and something that seemed far too tight to be comfortable. Richie was certain she had never once owned even a thread of clothing that had always been hers. Her s/c brow had its usual, light glossy sheen of grease that Richie had learned very early on to not ask about. But there was something about her now, something he couldn't quite place.

Though one question kept popping up in his mind. One that left an itch in his brain he couldn't quite scratch in his dazed state. And that was how could he have possibly thought she sounded like Henry Bowers?

He finds himself looking down at the gravel now, wiping away as much of the sun's damage pooling in his eyes as he can. Unbeknownst to him, she watches him studiously, the ghost of her smile still on her lips as if she was enjoying his discomfort. His long and gangly limbs are folded awkwardly, still, onto the leather seat that sits on the ground. Finally, she takes a seat beside him with a huff as he had.

As he rubs his tired eyes for a second time she takes a long look around, breaking the silence when her trip around the gravel pit lands on him.

"Well, you've looked better." She quips, offering a smile.

Richie snorts, pushing his slipping glasses up the bridge of his nose with a friendly smirk. "This comin' from Raggedy Ann?"

They both breathe a small laugh and for a moment - just one beautiful, fleeting moment - Richie forgets he was ever scared. This is what he needed.

"So," she says, pulling his gaze towards her, sending him a cocky smile as a knowing look sparkles behind her eyes. "I'm guessing there's a reason I'm here, and not helping you with your summer training?"

Richie, for reasons unknown to him, feels his muscles tense up again involuntarily. Like a puppeteer suddenly yanking the strings, ripping his shoulders up to his ears and his muscles bracing. He felt rigid and he was, but he was doing all he could not to show it. All his unease came back in steady waves marching up the sand, but what could he do now? He could already feel her eyes burning holes into the side of his head as he kicked around a sizeable rock with the toe of his shoe, studying him. Waiting.

Finally, his shoulders slumped in a shrug, lower lip in an indifferent pout as he looked around at the sky hanging above the gravel pit.

"Just needed a change from all those ugly mugs, I guess," he manages a laugh, and he rises to his feet to lazily chase the rock that had rolled out of his reach.

He can feel her eyes on him still, and he doesn't know what to make of it until finally she breaks her silence with a chuckle and rises to join him. She catches the rock with the heel of her dirtied sneakers. They're worn down to the very last thread and several shades off from the original color. She kicks the rock back to him, and they engage in a lazy game of rock soccer.

"I can understand that," she says calmly, eyes trained on the rock as it tumbles across the gravel with several chunky clanks. "Reckon it'll be good for you, too,"

He frowns confused without looking up at her, winding one lanky leg back before one big kick. "Whad'ya mean?"

"Well, you don't wanna spend your whole summer inside of an arcade, do you?"

Richie's face freezes in a frown, the rest of his body going rigid. His eyes cement on the rock underneath his shoe, willing away the veil of tears that threatened to fall. Had he not been so caught up on why he was here, Richie might have had a clear enough head to realize Y/n wasn't there for that conversation, nor had she heard about it from anyone there. Instead, all Rich can think about is the small hypochondriac boy that had stolen his heart.

He can hear the conversation he had with his best friend, all those weeks ago when school let out. And if felt like a lifetime since he had seen that squishable, pouty little disgusted frown Eddie always put on that made Richie's inside melt. As if reading his mind, Y/n spoke.

"This is about Eddie, isn't it?"

Her tone is gentle but veiled. Something was concealed about the way she held herself, ever since she had arrived, something that Richie couldn't quite place. And there it was. He was right about her suspecting him, he must be. Richie battles the lump forming in his throat, and he can feel his ears turning pink under her unwavering and unblinking stare.

Richie does all he can to fight a snarky response, not knowing how else to navigate and survive the intensity of his feelings. All he manages to do is nod.

[■■■■■■■■■■■■]

"Rich, it's okay," she says, taking a step forward, his gaze is pulled to her eyes. And here it is, he thinks. The moment he had been dreading, the moment he hadn't even allowed himself to think about. "...I miss him, too."

His face caught in another frown. That's definitely not what he expected her to say. Quickly as he could, he wiped away a spot of snot at his nose. He had managed to keep the tears at bay but now they had found another way out. He felt like a fucking fool, and he wanted nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. Of course she didn't know what he was talking about. Why would she - how would she? His spirits were crushed, and he suddenly didn't feel like getting into it now. She seemed off today, not that Richie cared. All he wanted was for this whole day to be over with, not even knowing the worst had yet to come.

She studies his reaction, almost as if she had been waiting for this and she blinks for what Richie is now starting to realize must be the first time since she got here. Y/n's face screws into a frown, and yet there still lingered an uneasy smile that taunted him. Her eyes squint suspiciously at Richie, her head tilting in an expression he never knew he had always feared would come.

She laughs finally, a shrill and grating laugh he hadn't quite heard before and she nudges him playfully. "Oh, come on! It's not like you've got some faggy crush on him or something?"

When he doesn't answer, she scoffs, turning away and shaking her head in disbelief for a moment.

Richie felt he just might vomit. Or cry. Or both. He had never felt so distraught, so dejected. So broken.

How could she be saying these things?

He tries with all his might to conjure a response, any fucking thing at all so he wasn't some blubbering broken chump breaking down in front of her. But for the first time in his life, Richie "loudmouth" Tozier was speechless.

That fuck-awful grating laugh returns, a sour look screws up her face as she looks him up and down in disgust.

"Wait, seriously?" She gapes with a scoff, making him feel about two inches tall. "You actually think he'd want to be with some fairy freak like you?"

"F-f-uck off," he sputters, though he does not feel better.

The trembling in his voice, the vulnerability, hearing it in himself strips any remaining scrap of confidence he had left. He's crying now and there's no hiding it. And she heard it in his voice, he knew that now as he looks at her. Her lips curl into a malicious smile and she takes another step closer, Richie fumbles a step back.

"He isn't some," her nose crinkles as she continues to advance on him, the fire in her eyes building as he stumbles back to escape her sudden venom. "rotten queer like you."

Y/n spits the words out like they were poison on her tongue, and this was true in every way. Her fiery stare never left Richie, it burned holes right through him as she advanced on him like a wolf on a wounded doe. They were nearing the edge of the gravel pit, and Richie had nearly run out of room when her finger stabbed his chest like a sword's final strike to the heart, pushing him to the ground as she spoke those poisonous words.

Richie felt his backside meet several jagged rocks that brought even more tears to his eyes, though none of them hurt as much as her words. She towered over him now, the sun beating down on her back and pouring over her shoulders, trapping Richie in her shadow. She shakes her head, and he can still make out the pathetic look on her face as she glowers at him.

"It's girls he likes. It's me he likes." she points to herself, shaking her head. "He was mine the second he saw me, but you?"

She scoffs again, and her shadow releases him as she kneels to balance on her feet, legs folded before him with a snide look.

"You've always been the insufferable loudmouth he couldn't get rid of." A sharp laugh escapes her, the clutch on his heart tightening to dangerous amounts he fears it will give out. "Well, I guess he doesn't have to worry about that now, huh?"

His heart feels as if it has been ripped to shreds, the claws of the wolf had struck and now he was drowning in his own sorrows as pain as the heartbreak filled his lungs. Richie could no longer see behind the thick wall of glassy tears that blanketed his eyes, and the sounds of his own sobs amplified his embarrassment and despair. He was hopelessly broken, and he could feel himself crumble, each piece disappearing amongst the gravel underneath him until he couldn't be found. He blinked only once, but it was enough to send every tear racing down his cheek at once.

Another malicious smile contorts her face, her e/c eyes burning darker until they looked almost a completely different shade. Her lips seemed to stretch on and on and on in a way only one thing could. And it was then that it occurred to him.

Not one thing she had said to him is something he could have ever prepared himself for, each word constricting his heart and lungs and swelling his throat with the ever-growing lump.

Nor was any of it something she would ever dream of saying, he knew this now.

[■■■■■■■■■■■■]

This wasn't Y/n, this was never Y/n. She had never showed, and if he hadn't been so wrapped up in his own fucking head he would have caught on from the second "Y/n" arrived. Especially that entrance, Y/n surely would have fallen on her ass on her way down into the gravel pit never mind the fact her accent wouldn't be nearly as shit.

But none of this mattered now. This thing that looked like his friend had him cornered, and It knew it.

A wicked grin overtook the mask of Y/n's face that chilled Richie to his bones, and yet it also reassured him. Y/n was tough and could be scary from time to time, but he knew she could never be capable of the pure evil that now danced in It's eyes. Richie's body was already in motion, his arms and legs scrambling for any sort of grip that could take him up the side of the pit and to safety. But the gravel beneath him was always shifting, rolling out from underneath him when it wasn't raking his palms to pieces and all he was accomplishing was a small plume of dust that clung to his backside.

Richie didn't know where it came from, but his actions were faster than his feelings as his fist collided with It's nose. And no sooner did the heel of his shoe collide in a painful crack that sent It's head back, did his eyes widen in horrific shock. The painful crack that would surely haunt him for many nights to come, had not been from the collision of his heel on It's nose but It's head - or Y/n's as this was still It's disguise - had snapped completely back and dangled completely off It's/her shoulders.

The only thing connecting her head to her shoulders was the suit of s/c skin. Protruding from the center of her neck just under the skin was the end of her spine where it had disconnected, giving away a disturbing lack of muscles and veins in her neck as if it had been hollowed out like a pumpkin. Her head rolled back and forth limply, and Richie could feel bile climbing up his throat, ready to burst out his digested mac and cheese.

His mind was screaming at his legs to run while all was still but a small part of him knew this was all a gambit, that it didn't matter if she was frozen stiff or not. Richie knew as soon as he booked it, It would spring to life with something even more twisted. That now, without his friends, he was as good as dead.

And It was more than happy to prove Richie right.

The clone of his friend sprang to life, It's head still rolling around on It's shoulders. Connected only by the skin of It's neck, and moving around like some fucked up slinky toy. Richie was already halfway up the gravel pit, bits of rock and dirt finding their way into his shoes as he kicked up the earth though that was the farthest thing from his mind.

By the time Richie reached the top of the pit, he could no longer hear the thunderous boom of his heart attempting to break loose from his chest, which was saying an awful lot. His screams echoed out into the air only to be swallowed by the screams of other children and Richie didn't know how he knew this but he knew those were the screams of Betty Ripsom, Ed Corcoran... Georgie Denbrough. The bloodied screams of It's victims were drowning Richie as he ran for the junkyard, and he wondered if he might live to hear them stop.

The screams were so fucking loud in his ears he could see them. Each of them a blinding, deafening, gut-wrenching, and blood-curdling scream that danced through the air like ribbons as they begged for their lives. Richie cried out and he couldn't even hear his own voice, but he didn't let this stop his legs from pumping as hard as they possibly could. He was nearly to the junkyard, surely he could use something to fend It off but he knew he was just buying time.

He could taste the blood on his tongue from where his teeth bit into his cheek. In all his short life, Richie Tozier would not have guessed child-eating clown to be the way he'd kick the can. When ever the thought of death began troubling him, he always liked to picture something like a western. Him and his rightful enemy squaring off against good and evil, he'd shoot first and save the day but still sustain an injury and bleed out. But it'd be a hero's death. And that was something.

But this... this was something born out of darker than evil and Richie was about to be pulled into the gravity well of this black hole and swallowed up. And he knew in his soul, the very pits of his stomach it would reach out with its shadowy arms and pull him into darkness.

And it did.

Richie had been rapidly approaching the edge of the junkyard without realizing and within an instant found himself on the ground, caved in on himself as he tumbled in the dirt and rocks accepting he was to join them soon enough. He closed his eyes and waited for death as a hand curled around his shoulder and pulled him around. Another jolt of shock shot through his entire body at the sudden contact, locking his jaw and paralyzing his entire body in fear as he was met with the new threat. He didn't dare open his eyes, and certainly not when he heard his best friend's voice again.

"Richie! Richie?"

It was her again, he realized. Y/n's real voice, the one that he heard on the telephone that was dripped in static. The one now dripped in fear.

"Richie?!"

When the boy opened his eyes, they were filled with terror and his sobs continued. A lense Y/n never thought she'd see Richie look at her through. Her heart broke in an instant when she realized he was afraid... of her. Instantly, she released him and let her backside fall back into the gravel. She watched through a thick wall of tears as he trembled, crying to himself, and never in all her life had she seen Richie Tozier so broken.

It tore her apart.

She didn't have to be a genius to realize what had happened here. Before she had even reached the junkyard on her bike she had heard his screams strangled through the wall of trees gating the area. When she had reached the gravel yard, she was happy to see him still in one piece but he was running for his life from an invisible force. The damn coward had gotten what It wanted and scared him shitless, but why would he disappear just because she showed? She had wondered.

Now she was beginning to understand. It didn't need to be here to scare her. Just the sight of Richie in such a state was enough to tear her down and it took just about everything in her not to scream into the sky from a mix of fury and fear.

Besides the tears that race down her cheeks and wet her legs, all Y/n could feel was a painfully numbing fear. Fear that Richie would never be the same. Fear that Richie would never speak to her again. Fear that Richie would never trust her again. Fear for whatever the fucking hell that thing did to Richie. Fear that It would do it again.

All she felt now was fear for Richie.

Y/n doesn't bother to fight the sob that breaks loose, her bottom lip quivers violently and her arms fall to the gravely pavement beneath her. As if her head had filled with lead, it grew heavy enough to fall into her chest where her chin landed, shaking several more tears loose.

"I'm s-so sorry, Richie,"

Y/n yearns to say more, but her body is physically weak from sadness and shame. Yet still, she repeats it in her mind hoping with everything in her it slips out of her mouth, or maybe if she thought them loud enough he'd hear them in his mind.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry for whatever happened. I'm so goddamn sorry...

"I'm sorry," she whimpers. "I promise..."

I promise I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise I'm not gonna hate you. I promise I'm gonna be there for you, from now on. I promise.

Her sniffles blend with his own, and Richie is unsure why this is the moment he knows for sure this is the real Y/n before him; maybe he was just too exhausted to think it through, perhaps it was the godawful sound she was making trying to keep herself from snotting as bad as he was but he knew It had gone. And the Y/n sitting beside him — crying with him, was the one he dialed up today. This was the Y/n he had been prepared to bare his soul to. His true self.

So with one shaky hand — the other still tucked in close to his chest — Richie's left hand slid out from under him and across the gravel to Y/n's open palm. Her fingers were digging into the gravel, sharp edges of the rock digging into her skin as if to assure herself she was really real. Suddenly, she felt Richie's shaky palm slide underneath hers, carefully taking it.

Y/n picked her glassy stare up from the ground to look at their intertwined hands, and she melted a little. Several of those fears — not all of them, but some — were ebbed away and she looked to Richie. He was still curled up in the dirt, his eyes closed and silent tears streaking his dirt-covered face. Each tear paved a path of clean skin, washing the dirt away in wild streaks where ever each tear had fallen. Several large and swollen beads of tears collected at his chin where they dangled, threatening to fall.

She gave his hand a squeeze, letting him know she was there for him as she had promised him. And she was ready to sit with him for as long as he needed.

For hours that feel only like minutes, they sit together in tear-filled silence, clinging to one another's presence and the knowledge that they are now all they have left.

And there was no way they were letting go.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Here are some LGBTQ+ resources for mental health and self help if you feel you need them:

How do I find LGBTQ friendly therapy?

An article on safe ways to find the best sources of help that are right for you

The Trevor Project

Self Care Tips for Trans and Non Binary Folks

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sociallyawkward--fics · 3 years

Text

Dirty Little Secret

Hello I just finished this and I have not edited it and I am never going to reread it lol. It is probably disjointed, OOC, and incomprehensible. Welcome to my super sick and drug-induced It oneshot. Also for the title I was torn between this and ‘truth or dare’

My friends also told me I had to put this joke in the author’s notes: “I’m paying homage to the original It. King was on coke when he wrote it, and I’m on a wild amount of cold medicine and illness”

----

Summary: Miraculously, they all lived. They killed that damn clown and they lived. Now, Richie just had one last thing to say.

Word Count: 1877 words

[ao3 link]

-----------------------------------------------

The sounds of his old friends splashing around in the quarry faded around him. Distantly, as though he wasn’t in his own body, Richie could hear them cracking jokes and laughing at each other, as if the seven of them hadn’t almost just lost their lives.

As if Eddie hadn’t almost--

Richie focused on cleaning his glasses. Without them on, it was blurry and hard to tell, but he thought there was still blood embedded into the new spiderwebbing of cracks left on one of the lenses. It wouldn’t come out. Really, it could be anyone’s blood, he’d lost track of their injuries by this point.

But Richie knew who’s it could have been.

Bev had said the Deadlights gave her visions of their deaths, but he hadn’t known just how vivid they could be until he dropped out of them himself. He’d opened his eyes to Eddie being skewered above him, helpless to do anything but scream his name, the Loser’s a chorus of the same. Then, he blinked, and Eddie was above him laughing and cheering his “victory.”

Richie had barely rolled them out of the way in time for one of It’s massive claws to dig deep into the stone where they had been laying. Pennywise made a noise of rage, but Richie hadn’t allowed himself even a moment to think. He’d grabbed Eddie and ran.

And now here they were. They’d killed It, crushed Its heart in their hands, and Derry was safe. They were safe. Eddie was safe. Richie sat on a rock in the dirty quarry water, distantly aware of the splash wars going on while Eddie chopped his hands and told them how unsanitary it was, cleaning themselves in dirty water. Richie knew he was being unusually quiet, and someone was bound to notice soon, but he felt like if he didn’t laugh, he was going to cry.

And for once, Richie was all out of jokes.

Then, the absolute worst thing happened: Richie was dragged into the spotlight.

Apparently, the other six Losers had been recounting the “best moments” of their battle. Richie didn’t remember much, truthfully, aside from running for his life and sniveling like a little kid.

“Hey, Rich,” Beverly called. “What was that whole ‘Truth or Dare’ thing about anyway?”

Richie let out an awkward laugh, plastering a smile onto his face. He’d gotten good at it, over the years, with how much he hated his own act, but now it just felt stiff and misshapen. He waved his hands in the air as he spoke, his glasses flopping around precariously in his grip.

“Oh, you know, just something that damn clown had brought up.”

Bill laughed. “Why would he b-b-bring up Truth or D-Dare?”

Bev swam over and started poking at his sides as she laughed. They were all laughing so much. They were clearly handling the trauma far differently than him.

“Why would It use that?” She teased. “Got something you’re afraid to confess, Trashmouth?”

Richie forced out another laugh, sounding weak to his own ears. More than you know.

Instead, Richie reached for a distraction. “Yeah, how fast it took me to finish with Eddie’s mom--”

“Beep beep, asshole!” Eddie shouted, and Richie’s next laugh felt a little less desperate. Teasing Eddie was familiar and comfortable, and Richie was almost tempted to put his glasses back on to see the adorable way his jaw clenched with annoyance.

“Remember that one time Bill dared Mike to smuggle one of the sheep into his grandfather’s house?” Ben asked, and if Richie wasn’t so gone on Eddie, he could’ve kissed him. Intentionally or not, he’d just saved Richie a whole lot of floundering to keep the attention off where he wanted it least.

The group laughed and Mike shook his head with a grin. “He was so mad,” Mike said. “I thought for sure he’d make me sleep in the barn for that.”

“Or what about the t-t-time Eddie dared Richie to eat that year-old twinkie we f-found in R-R-Richie’s room,” Bill said.

Even Richie had to laugh at that one. “Yeah, where was the concern for my health there, Eddie Spaghetti?”

“Don’t call me that,” Eddie snapped, though there was no heat behind it. “Plus, those things never fucking expire. They’re garbage, but that wouldn’t have hurt you.”

“Oh yeah? It tasted as bad as your mom’s--”

Eddie splashed Richie, sending a wave of nasty quarry water into his mouth and preventing him from finishing his sentence. He sputtered and coughed, laughing as he spit it out, and the weight of everything felt a little less oppressive now that he was laughing with them all.

“Oh!” Bev said, “What about the time Stan dared Bill--”

Richie grinned as he went back to trying to dig the blood out of the cracks in his glasses with his nails. They were short and stubby, so it wasn’t exactly easy, but he managed to make some progress. This time, though, he made sure not to tune his friends out. He listened to each of their stories, letting their laughter wrap around him like a warm, worn, familiar blanket, just like he had always been searching for when they were kids, and slowly felt his shoulders relax. And as they were laughing, the thought occurred to Richie.

What was he so afraid of?

This was Richie’s family. After everything they’d been through, killer alien clowns and all, would his sexuality really be the thing to break them? It’d be a little silly at that point, Richie thought.

A little silly, and a lot unfair. And who knew how they’d react? He’d seen them all in their underwear, shared blankets and chairs and beds with them, held them close (he wished he could do that now, but he wasn’t brave enough to be so touchy as an adult). What if they accused him of taking advantage of them when they hadn’t known? What if they were disgusted by him? What if they forgot him again, but this time by choice?

Richie was forced out of his thoughts when someone shrieked, and he promptly realized he’d allowed himself to tune everyone out again as he catastrophized. His head shot up at the shriek, his heart pounding in panic. Instead of a psychotic clown or a gruesome murder, Richie caught sight of Ben, who had seemingly heaved Beverly out of the water, tossing Bev as far as he could back into the murky water. She came up sputtering and laughing, arguing that whatever she’d said had definitely happened, no matter what he said.

Bill and Mike were leaning on each other from the force of their laughter. Ben had a sly grin on his face, though the corner of his lip was twisted a little in embarrassment as Bev kept hounding at him. Stan wasn’t outright laughing so much as he was grinning, but that was pretty much the same thing when it came to him. Eddie was laughing so hard that his cheeks had gone pink.

Richie promptly realized that if he didn’t do it now, he was never going to get up the courage to do it again.

“I’m gay,” Richie said loudly, the words echoing uncomfortably across the quarry.

The sounds of splashing and play fighting stopped and Richie heard more than saw everyone turn toward him. He kept his glasses off, eyes focused on his hands. If he had to look at them, see them clearly, he wouldn’t get through this. Every cell in his being was telling him to bury this with a joke, to move on and make a funny and forget the whole thing, but he couldn’t. Not this time. He needed to stop hiding.

“I’m gay,” he said again, quieter this time. “That’s why It brought up ‘Truth or Dare.’ Because I wouldn’t want anyone to pick truth.”

Richie kept his head down, but he heard the others moving through the water. He startled when he felt Bev’s arms wrap around one of his own. Richie looked up and saw his friends (or, really, saw blobs shaped vaguely like his friends) all coming toward him, wrapping themselves around him where he sat.

Ben curled himself around Richie’s knee, right below Bev. On Richie’s other side, Mike, Bill, and Stan all crushed in trying to wrap around him in some way. Mike ended up wrapped around Richie’s leg, which probably looked ridiculous, if only Richie could see, while Bill and Stan curled up around his arm and side. Then, Eddie came up behind Richie, wrapping his arms carefully around Richie’s shoulders and resting his head on Richie’s own (probably taking advantage of being taller than Richie, for the moment).

“We’re proud of you, Rich,” Stan said quietly.

Tears stung at Richie’s eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He sat there for a few minutes, soaking in their warmth and care, closing his eyes and letting peace finally overcome him. The secret, his dirty little secret, had finally been aired. He didn’t need to be scared of it anymore, at least not in this small circle (coming out as a public figure was an entirely different story, and Richie sure as fuck wasn’t ready for that yet). Pennywise’s words, echoing in his head since they were said, finally began to quiet.

“Thank you,” Rich said eventually, his shields formed from humor finally coming back up. He could only handle so much emotional vulnerability without making a joke. “I don’t have my glasses on so I don’t know who you people are, but thank you.”

Richie’s friends laughed, and he could feel Eddie’s chin brushing against his head with the force of Eddie’s eyeroll. Richie himself chuckled a little, blinking to clear the lingering tears from his eyes before they could fall. It was then that he noticed his hands: one clasped tightly between Ben and Beverly’s fingers, and the other resting on one of Eddie’s arms, Stan’s hand resting atop his.

“Oh shit,” he mumbled.

He felt more than saw (seeing as he couldn’t see) Beverly and Mike look up at him.

“I legit can’t find my glasses.”

A chorus of “Are you serious?” met Richie’s ears and he almost laughed again, but it was true. Sometime between the six of them latching onto him, Richie’s glasses had completely vanished.

Richie settled in where he sat as the others went off to find his glasses, diving beneath the water and arguing between themselves. The only person who didn’t move away was Eddie, who shifted from standing behind him to sitting next to him. As he heard Bev laugh, followed by a splash (Richie would bet money she just dunked Ben, the two had been attached at the hip and making heart eyes at each other since they escaped Neibolt), he felt Eddie grab his right hand and interlock their fingers.

There was a distinct lack of cold, wet metal as Eddie squeezed his hand, and Richie swore his heart skipped more than a few beats.

Maybe he wasn’t the only one with a secret, Richie thought as Eddie’s head leaned against his shoulder for a few seconds. And maybe, just maybe, Richie wouldn’t have to go home and face his nightmares alone after this.

#it #it (movie)#it (2017)#it (2019)#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrack #stan uris #beverly marsh #bill denbrough #mike hanlon #ben hanscom #the losers club #it fanfic #reddie fanfic #My writing

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occasionaloneshots · 3 years

Text

You Belong With Me (Reddie’s Version)

Warnings: toxic relationship, swearing

Closeted bi Richie x closeted gay Eddie

Words: 1.7k

“You’re on the phone with your girlfriend, she’s upset.. She’s going off about something that you said, ‘Cause she doesn’t get your humor like I do.”

Eddie was bitter. Quite frankly the boy wondered if bitter was even a strong enough word. But he stuck with it, down right lemon sour, bitter. Richie was supposed to sleep over, just the two of them, like old times. But of course his girlfriend had to go and throw herself in their plans, it seemed like she always did. Eddie swore that the girl had it out for him, hell she had called his house to talk to Richie. So now, while Eddie sits across from a paused movie that he was never really interested in to begin with, he gets to listen to Richie trying to explain himself over nothing. At least Eddie thought it was nothing, nothing for Richie at least.

“No, baby, come on please don’t be like that,” Richie’s vice floats in desperately from kitchen. Eddie didn’t have to be in the room to see the exhaustion on the boy’s face. “It was just a joke, you know I love you more than anything.” If Eddie was right, Richie was scrunching the phone cord in his hand, he always seemed to do that if he was getting yelled at over the phone. Maybe that was an exclusive thing for phone calls from his father though, as he got chewed out for being late to leave or forgetting to call and say he would be staying for dinner. “I’m sorry okay? I’m so sorry I’ll never joke about that again, I swear.” Eddie scoffed, it’s not like she was involved in the joke, it was a joke about the losers. As far as he was concerned, Richie’s bitchy girlfriend would never be a loser, no matter how many times she invited herself along. If she doesn’t want to hear Richie’s crude jokes about Eddie’s mom, she shouldn’t invite herself to hang out with him and Eddie. Everyone knows that’s his thing. Why even get with a trashmouth if you just want to change him? Sure the joke wasn’t funny, but that was Richie. (If Eddie was honest, he slowly began to find Richie’s mom jokes funny, but maybe that was a cheap stab at his mother.)

The dark haired boy wonders back into the room, falling back on the couch beside Eddie, “I’m sorry about that. Do you wanna finish the movie?” Eddie looks back at it for a moment, a random frame of Wayne’s World (Richie’s choice) staring back at him. “Not if you don’t want to, we could just go do something else,” Eddie plays with his fingers as he talks, looking up at the taller boy nervously. He wasn’t sure what made him so nervous about it though, maybe it was just knowing that Richie was upset. “Yeah, let’s just go to your room or something?” Eddie nods, turning off the tv as they stand up. Richie collects the blankets they were using off the couch, throwing them over his shoulder as Eddie grabs the popcorn bowl. It’s pretty quiet as they make it to Eddie’s room, both throwing themselves on his bed seemingly exhausted despite the fact that it was only nine-thirty. Suddenly Eddie jumps up, walking over to his bookshelf. “What ya doin’, Eddie Spaghetti?” Richie’s head lolls to the side, watching as the smaller boy scans the shelves. A red CD case resting in his hand as he opens the CD player on the shelf. “Don’t call me that, Rich. You’ll see.”

“I'm in my room, it's a typical Tuesday night, I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like”

Meer seconds after Eddie closed the player, a familiar song began to boom out of the speakers. The opening cord of Ramones “Censorshit” making Richie’s face light up, “Is that my copy of Mondo Bizarro?” “It’s mine now, you gave it over, remember?” The dark haired boy rolls his eyes, getting up off the bed. “I didn’t give it to you, I let you hold on to it. Heidi hates this type music, she kept complaining about it so I wanted someone who would take care of it to watch it.” Eddie shrugs, “Gave it to me, told me to take care of it, same difference.” Richie didn’t respond though, instead, putting his arms out in front of him, pointer finger up on each hand like he was trying to silence a room, before breaking out into a dance. His curls flying around his head in a way that made his face hard to see as he moved. It was not a good dance, but one that had Eddie smiling and jumping around with him nonetheless. They were on the twelfth before they were exhausted enough that they had to sit back down. Both boys sitting with their legs crossed on opposite sides of the old bed, laughing.

“God,” Richie pants, “I forgot how good that album was.” “Yeah, because all you’ve been listening to is Madonna,” the words ended with a scoff as Eddie shook his head, “You hated Madonna until you got with Heidi.” Richie stops mouthing the lyrics of “Heidi Is a Headcase” to scoff, “I still hate Madonna.” Eddie shakes his head, “Why are you even with her anyway?” He was mentally cursing himself the moment e said it. Eddie you fool, you absolute fool.

“'Cause she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts, she's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers”

Richie simply shrugs in response, “I don’t know.” This leaves the other boy stunned for a minute. “You don’t know?” Richie had options, so many options, there was no reason for him to be with someone who makes him miserable, at least not one his friend could see. Richie got hot in high school, everyone knew that as much as they hated to admit it (especially Bill, who was a little too used to being the hot one of the group). He basically sprung up a whole foot the summer between eight and ninth grade, his face thinning out to reveal a sharp jawline and prominent cheekbones. He had that whole pretty boy thing going on which earned him more than a fair share of female attention, and even his fair share of attention from other guys, though they weren’t as open about it.

“I don’t know, I mean, she’s the cheer captain and I guess that part of me just wants what comes with that? But I want her too you know, even though it stresses me out. What would happen to me if I left her you know? We’re not really true losers anymore, I don’t want to drag the rest of you back down with me.” That was another thing, Richie started going to games just for the half time show to watch her cheer, dragging Eddie with him, and any other loser if he got the chance. Eddie sighs, shaking his head, “You wouldn’t become a total loser again, Rich. You’d just have every girl in the school throwing herself at you.”

“And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town, I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down”

Richie laughs, a dry laugh that was no where near his normal one, “Yeah right, maybe I’ll go for Greta Keene next time. Fuck myself up in a different way.” Eddie scrunches up his nose, “Yuck, why would you say that? Greta?” “What?” Richie smirks, leaning over to shove his shoulder, “Is she your girl or something?” Eddie lets out a whiney groan, “That was the seventh grade will you please let it go?” In a game of truth or dare Eddie admitted to lied about having a crush on Greta and Richie hadn’t let it go since. Eddie never talked about things like that, it wasn’t his thing. So of course the scrap Richie had, he would use. The taller boy burst out laughing, a genuine smile flashing across his face in a way that made Eddie smile too. “Dude you’re the one who did it.”

When the boy finally calmed down, Eddie gave him a soft smile, ”Seriously though, why don’t you break up with her, Richie? Cheer captain is not a valid reason to stay with someone.” “The rumors she would spread are a valid reason to stay. I don’t know if I would be able to handle that.” Eddie scoffs, leaning back against his headboard, “Who cares about rumors? Bev survived them, you could too.” Richie shakes his head, “I believed the rumors about Bev back then, the whole school did.” “That’s because you’re a fool, Rich. Seriously, you think anyone would care about the rumors she’d spread? What’s she gonna say? You have a small dick? Stan says that all the time,” Eddie shakes his head, “She’s not good for you Richie.” I could be though, the thought clouds his mind, though he’d never admit it out loud, Eddie was crushing on Richie so hard it was embarrassing. Some of the losers saw it though, just like how they saw his crush on Bill back when they were younger. At least, Bev and Stan did, though they’d never admit it, outside of the two of them, but Eddie was paranoid that Mike knew it too. If Mike asked him why he looked so upset while Heidi was on RIchie’s lap one more time, the boy thinks he might combust. “Come on Eds, even if I wasn’t scared about rumors, who else would be willing to deal with me anyway? I’m lucky she even puts up with me.” And that made Eddie frown, “Rich,” he reached out, grabbing Richie’s hand, “The right person loves you, they don’t just put up with you because you’re hot.” Richie lets out another dry laugh, “Yeah, like someone out there is like that for me. Girls like that exist for Mikes and Stans, not me Eds.” Eddie shakes his head, watching as Richie pulls away, getting up to look in the mirror. “ think there’s someone out there like that for everyone. I mean, my dad loved my mom, at least as much as I remembered, and she’s my mom.” Richie shakes his head, “I guess you’ve got me there. Hey, maybe mine is also your mom.” And despite the fact that it was cheap, Eddie laughed at it. Mind barely holding in the words “what if it’s me?” Because, Eddie knew he wasn’t ready to open that can of worms yet, and Richie was no where near the right place for that.

‘All this time how could you not know, baby? You belong with me, you belong with me”

#Reddie #richie tozier #richie trashmouth #eddie kaspbrak #eddie it #it 2017 #it fanfiction #taylor swift lyrics

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olivinesea · 3 years

Text

A Mixed Blessing

Chapter List

chapter eight: starting to rust

a/n: Just barely coming in at under a month, oops. I think I’m going to take a break from this one for now, it seems to be a little too much while my thoughts are occupied with school things. When I planned this all out originally, this chapter was a possible ending point but then I got ambitious and there’s quite a bit more plotted out after this. But it might be a while before I come back to it, we’ll see. Anyway, thanks for coming along for all the torture, I know it wasn’t a pleasant time but the hurt can be nice occasionally? I’ll try to write something a little kinder in the future. Warnings for all the same things —substances, abuse, some very dark thoughts and themes. ~5.7k

Aaron tries to keep it all together but the world is indifferent.

He tried to stay away, he really did. As if he could see into the future, he could imagine how quickly he would tarnish her smile, could picture it fading right in front of him. He had nightmares where Haley sat, unresponsive and slowly dissolving. But she was insistent, seeking him out, towing him along with her through her day. She’d find him at lunch and push half a sandwich at him once she realized he hadn’t brought anything to eat. Brought him along after school to loiter in the sun with the other theater kids killing time between the end of class and the start of rehearsals, loudly asserting their presence on the world. Aaron hung back, uncomfortable around such casual chaos, everyone moving too fast, speaking too loudly. Compared to his world, Haley’s life was bright, unrestrained, and viscerally present. He didn’t fit there. He stuck out in his silence, dressed in his dark clothes, still too big on him though he was finally starting to grow.

The other kids eyed him suspiciously, muttering quietly about him when they thought he couldn’t hear. Only Haley’s position at the top of whatever social apparatus they operated by kept them from outright excluding him. He didn’t mind too much, he’d heard worse, what did he care what these kids thought of him anyway? What did they know with their golden lives, their excitement, their expectations for the future? Haley’s people believed that the world was for them, would provide what they wanted when they wanted. He found it odd, watching them as they screeched and tackled each other, a blur of color so jarring he had to squint.

He could feel how his difference was noted, their eyes making the back of his neck itch. More than once he tried to disappear but every time Haley slipped her hand into his, squeezing gently, pulling him back toward the group. She’d smile, encouraging, her belief that it would all work out, that he could assimilate given enough time, was unwavering. Her optimism baffled him, sometimes even irritated him. He would inevitably feel guilty about that. Surely it was ungrateful for him to find fault in this girl who had welcomed him when there was absolutely no need for her to do so.

Not everyone was tolerant of Aaron’s presence. The drama teacher regarded him with suspicion, allowing him to stay but making it clear that she was doing him a favor. It helped that he was able to sing, shoring up the weak lower register of the female dominated cast. He was given a minor role, nothing too complicated, nothing that would embarrass them if he failed, as she assumed he would. Some of the other kids caught on to this disapproval, emboldened by it they became less subtle in the ways that they mocked him. Aaron tried to mind his own business, even skipping out on rehearsals when the attention became too much. But Haley inevitably found him, running to catch him after school as he tried to escape out a side door. She dragged him back again and again, refusing to give up on him. Insisting she had seen something special, something she thought she could coax out if given enough time—like a stray dog, so used to mistreatment that he bristled when people came near but still craved affection.

He followed reluctantly, acutely conscious of the growing dislike, mutiny thickening the air. Everything was too sharp these days, he’d lost his sources for getting high. All he had were his cigarettes, too afraid to steal alcohol from his father. He desperately wanted to go back into the woods, to fall back under the quiet spell of muffled words about nothing, watching the light filter through the branches, sparkling as the leaves moved with the breeze. He hated it here, in the building, surrounded by these people with their constant need to be heard, each louder than the last. The smells of the theater, new paint and old fabrics and so much dust made it hard to breath. The too bright lights, unnaturally hot against his skin, and the way every sound echoed made his head ache. He’d be long gone if it wasn’t for the way Haley’s touch made his heart skip, her fingers lightly brushing across his arm to get his attention. Or the way she looped her arm through his as she caught him in the hallway and insisted on walking with him to class, leading him along her sheltered path.

Aaron wondered at the lightness of her head rested against his shoulder as they sat in the grass, sticking her tongue out at something stupid another kid said, then smiling when she heard his smothered laughter. He let his attention drift, eyes wandering until he saw a group in the distance. He watched as they moved away from school, easily guessing where they were headed. He felt a pang of longing as he watched them leave, wishing he could still be part of that. He wasn’t sure he had been happy with Cole but he had at least felt like he was in the right place, like he had found someone who understood him. No one here was like him, no one less so than Haley. He was attracted to her in a different way, fascinated at how she viewed the world and how the world viewed her. He’d never known anyone who moved so easily through life, who was loved and desired by everyone she met. He couldn’t begin to imagine what that felt like though he agreed with the rest of them, she was something special. He didn’t understand why she wanted him around but he wasn’t going to contradict her. Still, he wished to be gone with the group as they sought out unobserved spaces.

“Aaron?” Haley squeezed his knee, drawing his attention back.

“Hmm?” He had no idea what she had been saying.

“Do you want to come to Mike’s house after rehearsal tonight? His parents are out of town.”

Aaron looked dubiously across the group at Mike, someone who was clear in his dislike of Aaron.

“Please?”

Aaron shrugged a shoulder, shifting uncomfortably and causing Haley to sit up.

“It’ll be fun. And it’ll be good for you to get to know everyone a little better. You’re so quiet all the time.”

“I don’t think he likes me very much,” Aaron murmured, watching as Mike narrowed his eyes in their direction.

“Don’t be silly,” she said as she hopped up. “C’mon, let’s go inside, it’s almost time.”

He looked up at her, now standing above him. Their eyes met and she smiled. She was pleased with how much he’d been softening. It had only been a few weeks and already he seemed more comfortable, at least with her. She congratulated herself a little, privately, on her success. People had gone out of their way to warn her when she started hanging out with him, bringing him places with her. He was bad, he was dangerous, he would hurt her. But she knew, had known from that first time she saw him looking at her, he wouldn’t hurt her, not ever. He wasn’t so complicated, she reasoned, they were all just scared away by his dark features, his perpetual scowl, the whispered rumors about his family. She, Haley Brooks, was better than that, deeper and more sympathetic. He wouldn’t be the first broken creature she’d healed, but he would be her biggest project yet. She didn’t imagine it could be that hard. Everyone was always happier around her, she could fix this.

He sighed, shaking his head and stood up. Sometimes he could see her watching him and he wasn’t sure he liked the look on her face. Like she was assessing him, marking his progress along some scale she had in her mind. Noting when he ate, when he was rested, when he laughed. He felt a little bit like an animal in a laboratory. But then she would smile at him and he forgot all his hesitation, forgot how he disliked being watched, how much he hated people thinking they knew what he needed. No one had ever cared like her before and he wasn’t sure what she expected in return. But he let himself forget all that and follow her where she led for another chance at that smile, another chance to hear her say his name, sounding so different coming from her lips that it might be a different name entirely.

One of her friends, already halfway back to the building, called Haley’s name and she skipped over to her, confident that Aaron would follow. He watched her go before turning back to pick up his backpack. When he straightened up, Mike was standing very close to him. Aaron wondered at how he’d moved so quickly.

“I hope you don’t think you’re coming to my house, loser.”

Aaron stared at him, debating what to do. He didn’t particularly want to go to this party, he’d really prefer not to go. But Haley had invited him and he didn’t like the way this guy was always looking at her possessively, then looking at Aaron like he’d like to strangle him. Not exactly subtle.

Mike stepped in closer. “Did you hear me? Or are you too high?” He turned to his friends and forced a laugh, “Maybe you shouldn’t have fried your brain with your little homo boyfriend.”

Aaron didn’t think, he just reacted, fist swinging up and punching the other boy in the jaw. He stumbled back, holding a hand to his face, eyes frozen wide in shock. Aaron didn’t pause, only advanced on him, swinging again. It felt good, the anger that was always simmering in his chest, the anger he only barely distracted himself from, finally had an outlet. It probably wasn’t a fair fight, Mike had been expecting Aaron to quietly take the insults as he’d been doing, pretending to ignore them as they needled him whenever Haley was out of earshot. But this insult was too far. More of a mean jab in the dark than an actual accusation, his words had hit a nerve and unlocked a force within Aaron.

Once he landed the first punch, his vision clouded over with anger and he continued to swing at the other kid. The other boys quickly jumped in, once the surprise of seeing Aaron actually fight back wore off, once they realized he meant to do real harm to their friend. He already had Mike pinned on the ground, lip bleeding, hands covering his face, before two more of his friends managed to drag Aaron off. He swung at them too, no technique but plenty of experience on the receiving end. He knew what would hurt and he had enough rage to power him through a dozen opponents. One of the others pulled him off balance, using his grip on Aaron’s wrist to fling him to the side. They blocked his path to Mike, who was scrambling backward on the grass, putting more distance between himself and this suddenly rabid opponent. Breathing hard, Aaron glared at the group, realizing he didn’t have enough strength to overpower them all, despite his murderous desire. He spit in their direction, then grabbed his bag and stalked away.

He didn’t have to think about where he was going. There was only one place to go. He’d tried to be a part of the regular world, a part of a world where time continued evenly, where lights turned on when it was dark and spotlights burned brightest on those with merit. He’d tried to fit himself into that space for Haley’s sake but he had only been fooling himself. They’d known he didn’t belong and he’d finally overstayed his welcome. It was time for him to retreat to the unlit corners of the world, return to the margins of society where people could avert their eyes, where it was easier for them to pretend they didn’t see the wrongness of the boy in front of them. He’d go back to the place in the woods and hope there was someone there that could give him what he wanted, could help him disconnect from this too bright reality. He was as sick of it as they were of him. He allowed himself a brief flicker of hope that he might find Cole out there, with his understanding and their shared history he didn’t have to think about his walls so much. But he stomped down hard on that desire, reminding himself how he had still ended up alone. No, it didn’t need to be Cole, it didn’t need to be anyone in particular, as long as they had something to get him high he didn’t care. It wouldn’t matter for very long anyway.

He crashed across the grass, his anger making his steps heavier, his thoughts louder. He didn’t realize he was being followed, that someone was calling his name. He didn’t notice until there was a hand tugging at the elbow of his jacket. He spun around fast, ready to fight. Haley shrank back at the anger in his face, the wildness in his eyes. He clenched his fists when he recognized her, trying and failing to pull back the storm of emotion that had been knocked loose. He never wanted to scare her but she was following where she didn’t belong. He only had so much control.

“Go away.”

“Are you hurt? Where are you going? Why’d you attack—”

She didn’t even have the question fully formed before he turned and started walking again, unwilling to be accused of something that wasn’t remotely his fault. He didn’t like the way it stung him, hearing that she assumed his guilt. He didn’t like that he’d let her get so close, let her have such influence over him. She ran a little to get ahead of him, taking a deep breath to steady herself. She was frightened by his fury, but she wouldn’t let him go this easily. Not after she’d spent so many hours persuading him to join her world.

“Aaron.”

He stopped short when he heard his name, looked at her with some of his anger melting into sadness, feeling betrayed even though he knew he had no one to blame but himself.

“I didn’t start it,” he could barely get the words out, hated how much he wanted her to believe him, hated that he had to explain himself.

She rubbed her face, trying to think as she pressed her palm against her lips. She found she was more frightened of this new emotion than she was of the anger. He looked so hopeless.

“I’m sorry, I just…” she didn’t know what to say now that she’d gotten him to stop, now that she could see past the heated front of anger and could see some of the broken edges he did so much to hide. Wasn’t this what she’d been asking for?

He watched her struggle with what to say, saw the moment the pity started to creep into her eyes. Before she could say anything else, before she could make him feel worse, he started walking again, pushing past her. “Just leave me alone,” he muttered. He didn’t bother to check if she followed.

When he reached the clearing it was empty except for one person stretched out on a broken down couch. At first all he could see was the back of their head, the dirty blond hair sticking up in places. The recognition was a visceral feeling, clawing through his chest. He almost couldn’t believe it was real, that he was getting exactly what he hoped for. Cole sat up when he heard Aaron’s heavy footsteps cracking through the dead leaves and sticks littering the ground. He remained seated, looking at Aaron idly, as if no time had passed, as if he’d only been waiting for Aaron to turn up after class. Aaron felt so many conflicting emotions, had so many things he wanted to say that he could only stand with his jaw clenched against the flood of words he knew he would regret. Cole twitched the corner of his mouth in a slightly mocking smile and Aaron snapped. He grabbed Cole by the collar, pulling him to his feet, unsure whether he meant to strangle him or kiss him. Cole’s gaze shifted to look behind him.

“Why’d you bring your girlfriend with you?”

Too caught up in the charge of the moment, Aaron didn’t understand what he was talking about. Cole pulled away and lifted his chin in the direction he was facing. Aaron turned and saw Haley. She’d continued to follow him, concerned about what he was planning on doing, haunted by the hollowed out look in his eyes. She stood, apprehensive, eyes darting between the two.

He scowled. “Go back to school Haley.”

“But—are you okay?” She stumbled over her words, staring openly at Cole. She’d seen him in the distance, even noticed how Aaron sometimes watched him when their paths crossed. He looked even more menacing up close.

“I’m fine.” His mouth pressed together, biting his lower lip to keep his composure. He didn’t understand why she was being so persistent, why she wouldn’t just go away like everyone else. When she still hesitated he got impatient. There were things he needed to handle and he didn’t need her here getting in the way. He waved his hand at her, brushing away her attention. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

From behind him Cole fluttered his fingers at her with false sweetness. She hated the way he was grinning at her, his obvious confidence that he was the one in charge of the situation. She glared at him and he laughed.

She looked one more time at Aaron, who was no longer paying attention to her, had turned back to Cole entirely. She shook her head. Fine, if he wanted this it was hardly her problem. What did she even know of his life anyway? Trying not to feel like she’d lost, she retraced the path back to school.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Aaron started in on Cole. His thoughts were disorganized and barely coherent but he’d spent weeks trying to understand the sudden distance. He needed Cole to explain, to know his reasons for turning on him so quickly after all that they’d shared.

“What the fuck—” He hadn’t finished his question before Cole clamped his hand over his mouth.

“Shut up.”

Their eyes met and there was a mental struggle for the upper hand. One thing that had changed in the past few weeks was Aaron’s strength. No longer constantly submerged in a haze of intoxication, he felt everything more pointedly and he was ready to direct that pain elsewhere. He wanted to bite Cole, to scratch at his face, to scream at him for way he’d been abandoned, the sickness and shame he’d had to endure on his own. But the warmth of Cole’s palm, the familiar smell of his skin, the muscle memory of being in this exact position was too much. He relented almost instantly, sinking into the couch, pulling his knees up against his chest and waiting to see what Cole would do next.

Cole watched him thoughtfully, interested by this new spark of resistance but also pleased that he hadn’t made it too far on his own. A little fight kept things interesting, staved off the boredom Cole so often felt. It was probably that girl he’d been with, giving him ideas. He could see he’d have to do some damage control to bring Aaron back completely.

“I’m sorry,” he looked down, measuring drops of sincerity. “My grandma, she saw…she said she was going to report you.”

Aaron was confused, he didn’t know exactly what she could report about him but he heard the edge in Cole’s voice, knew better than to dig deeper. Cole sat down beside him, pulling one of his hands loose from where he’d wrapped it tightly around his legs. He traced Aaron’s palm with his thumb, looking into his face again.

“You know I didn’t mean it right? I didn’t have a choice.”

Aaron recoiled, sickened by the number of times those words had echoed through his life. Worse though was how easily he was willing to give into them if it only meant he could have back a little of that warmth he had found. He ducked his head and shrugged.

Cole squeezed his hand. “Good, cause I think I’ve got something you’ll like.” He let go and dug around in the couch cushions, pulling out a crumpled paper bag. When he smiled at Aaron, that familiar greedy smile, Aaron admitted to himself that he wasn’t here to fight with Cole, that he had never been coming for that. This was all he wanted, was all he was good for: to be lied to and to be led astray. He didn’t mind as long as he didn’t have to be fully present for it. He sat up a little straighter.

“Alright, let’s do it.”

They fell back in with one another but it remained uneasy. Aaron was still not allowed back at Cole’s house and he was afraid to miss too much class. Lately his father had been grumbling about sending him away and he wasn’t entirely sure he meant away to live somewhere else or away from life entirely. There were no peaceful interactions between them, only lucky days where Aaron successfully avoided being seen. A sudden increase in truancy calls would not work out well for him. If he had been a little more mature, a little less caught up in his own teenage drama, he might have noticed the changes in his father’s face, the way the lines grew deeper as his frame grew thinner. As it was he only noticed as much as he needed to know to keep himself out of the direct path of destruction. He once might have cared to notice his mother crying more, even when his father wasn’t there to be the cause of it but he was long past feeling any sort of connection to her. If she was troubled, she could find someone else to support her. She certainly hadn’t done anything to help him all these years. Nothing that he could see.

At school Haley continued to pester him. She stood up for him against the accusations that he had attacked Matt for no reason so he was still allowed at play rehearsals. He went grudgingly, only because he couldn’t shake the way he felt bewitched by Haley. Now he tried even harder to stay out of any social situations, to keep things strictly professional with the group of theater kids. However, he couldn’t help but enjoy Haley’s company at lunch and in between classes. Much as Aaron had disliked her friends, he couldn’t resist the brilliance of her personality. She made him feel like being a whole person was possible, made him forget for a few moments what he really was. She may have made him a little uncomfortable but she was relentlessly kind, and he was more than expert at keeping things hidden so he let her think she was doing some good as she badgered him into eating more and forced him to study. Even if it was only pretend, they were both getting something from it.

Only after the school day was over would he would slink away to the woods where he’d meet Cole. Cole still wasn’t speaking to him on campus, too aware of how their obvious closeness before had been risky. He hadn’t changed in their time apart either, his mood still swinging wildly from affection to disgust. It didn’t feel great but Aaron needed him, needed what Cole could give him. Attention and a steady supply of drugs. He didn’t have to worry about his insufficiencies around Cole, they were too similar for him to care about hiding the difficult parts of his life, didn’t have to worry about being pitied, about someone trying to fix him. They’d dragged more furniture into the abandoned shed, found an old metal trashcan they could burn things in to warm the place as the months crept deeper into the dark end of the year.

By the time Aaron’s sixteenth birthday came and went he felt like he was leading a completely fractured life. At home he was a ghost at best, a target when not; with Haley a treasured curiosity, constantly examined and prodded into a more acceptable shape; and with Cole, he was himself, angry and violent but self-medicated to the point where none of it mattered. Any gentleness that had existed between them over the summer was gone, every interaction was rough and scrambling, followed by a shame that only dissipated once the high kicked in.

It became harder to hold all the pieces together. He would look at himself in the mirror and struggle to remember his own name. He started smoking pot during the day again, just to ease some of the jarring transitions. At lunch, Haley talked and talked and he wouldn’t notice when she asked him a question until she poked him in the bicep and he jumped like a startled cat. When she tried to ask him about it he got annoyed, snapping at her and walking away from school, not caring that it was the middle of the day and that this bad choice was sure to come back to him that evening.

The show opening got closer as he missed more rehearsals. He missed so many that he didn’t know what he should be doing when he was there, very obviously sticking out when he went one way while the rest of the corps moved in the other direction. The drama teacher pulled him aside, giving him an ultimatum that he needed to be present at every subsequent rehearsal or he would be cut. Not so secretly hoping this would be enough to get him to leave. He started to say he didn’t give a shit about her stupid play when he saw Haley anxiously watching their conversation and swallowed his insults, only nodding, looking away so the teacher wouldn’t see his contempt for someone who could think something like a high school play mattered at all.

He made it to all the rehearsals but he was sure to be high, not enough that he would be caught but enough to be clear that it didn’t matter to him if he did. He wasn’t sure why he continued to come, why Haley had such a pull on him. It didn’t make sense that he wanted so badly to make her happy when she was so different, so far removed from everything else in his life. Maybe it was that he knew that without her, there was nothing tying him to the regular world, the place of school and society and jobs and futures. She was the only person that seemed to care if he was around, an emotion he was long past feeling for himself. She was the last reminder that he was a human being, that he mattered to someone. It was the only thing standing between him and completely giving in to the destructive force that had been whispering promises of an easy solution to his problems.

It was just enough to keep him behaved around these people who hated him without knowing anything about him. They hated what he represented, hated the way he forced them to see that the world could be ugly and painful. They were offended that he dared to show himself among the normal people when he so clearly belonged to the underside. He kept quiet and kept close to Haley when he was at school, when he was in the theater. He wore the stupid costume, the silly hat, followed the directions barked at him, sang just loud enough to carry the rest. Then he slipped away as soon as he was able.

The week of the opening performance was a bad one. Cole, having recently gotten his hands on some speed, was off on a manic high. Aaron had tried it once but hated the way the uppers spiked his anxiety, the way he felt every eye on him like his skin had turned inside out. After that first time he had declined, preferring to find oblivion in whatever downers were available. But Cole liked it quite a bit. It made his already unpredictable nature even worse, even more dangerous. He’d spend these highs running all over town, breaking car windows for fun, stealing anything worth a couple dollars. Aaron hated it and did his best to hide from him while he was strung out like that.

The afternoon of the show’s opening he’d gone to an old, private hiding spot after school with the intention of getting so stoned he couldn’t feel anything that might come his way later. He succeeded only to remember belatedly what day it was. Haley had tried to remind him several times during the day but he’d been too high, too distracted to listen. Swearing, he ran back to school, not sure what time it was or what time he was supposed to have been there.

The house lights were already off, the audience quiet as the opening bars played. He raced to get into his costume, having to re-button his shirt more than once as the tiny objects refused to line up properly. He gripped his hat as he stumbled into the wings to the sound of the chorus coming in—the chorus he was supposed to be a part of. He thought he could probably just slide onto the end of the line without attracting too much attention. Unfortunately, he found his path blocked by the drama teacher, her face dark and angry, completely out of patience for this mess of a teenager. She stared at him, his eyes red and glassy, skin pale, insultingly obvious in his intoxication.

“No.”

He looked at her unfazed, barely registering her as more than an object to move around. When he tried to step past her, she blocked him again.

“Go home Aaron,” her voice was quiet but unfriendly.

He shook his head, “I’m going to miss my cue.”

She frowned, surprised that he was aware enough to even know when his part was. “You’re high, you can’t be on school property.”

Aaron glanced into her face now, paying attention. No teacher had ever mentioned being able to tell he was not sober before.

“If you don’t leave now, I will call the police.”

He stepped back, narrowing his eyes, gauging how serious she was, if she would really draw that much attention to the situation. Her expression didn’t change and he could tell she meant it. He looked past her once more, seeing Haley step forward into the spotlight to begin her solo. His heart twisted, thinking about how disappointed she’d be that he couldn’t make this happen for her. He’d tried, tried so hard to keep it together for this. She’d been so excited and even though he couldn’t feel any of that, he liked the way it lit up her face when she talked about the performance, about how her parents and her sister would be in the audience, about how she wanted them to meet him. He’d never planned on staying for that but he’d wanted to at least be part of the show, to at least give her that.

“Now, Hotchner,” she insisted, voice cold and unsympathetic. He shrugged and tossed the hat on the ground by her feet before turning and walking out.

He headed straight for the shed, knowing there were supplies there that he had slowly siphoned away when Cole was too high to notice. He’d been saving them, watching his little stockpile grow larger. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was saving it for, exactly what his intention was but now seemed as good a time as any to find out. He hoped Cole wasn’t there, at least not until he could get his fix. Nothing would matter then.

Once inside he turned on the camp lantern he’d stolen and climbed onto a rickety chair to reach the seam between the roof and the wall. He pulled out his supplies, examining them as he settled back down on the dirty old cushions on the floor and wrapped a blanket around himself. It was an old army surplus thing, scratchy and smelling of smoke but effective against the chill. He considered his options. There was a good amount in there, probably enough for two people if he waited for Cole to turn up. He could maybe ease him out of his frenzy, bring him down to Aaron’s level, to the place where they could float through time without moving, without worrying. He thought about the last time he’d seen him, the way his eyes had moved past him without any real recognition. He thought about the dark purple bruises on his wrist where Cole had grabbed him, twisting his arm and insisting Aaron give him whatever money he had.

Fuck him, he decided.

Cole would probably be angry if he came here and found Aaron high without him, would be suspicious of how that had come to be. He would probably regret not leaving any for him but just at that moment he didn’t care. Hurt and love and shame and desire were all the same to him, all more than he wanted to feel. He just wanted to feel nothing. He set himself up quickly, well practiced and sure of his movements. He glanced around the shed once, really seeing his surroundings, seeing how far he had sunk and he laughed as he pressed the plunger down. Anyone who heard him would have been alarmed, the sound more like an animal caught in a trap than an expression of human joy. His last thought as he sank back into the ground was that it really was too much for one person. Too much to be doing alone. Then he got what he wanted and everything was just black.

#criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #young hotch #young haley brooks #tw substances #tw abuse #a mixed blessing

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soulwillower · 3 years

Text

long way home • richie tozier

(richie tozier x reader)

requested: please please please do a richie x reader about long way home by 5sos

warnings: nothing really, some mentions of canonic trauma but its really vague and underaged drinking

i was happy to write this bc it def got me out of my slump! lmk if yall want more fics

(also i loved 5sos so much back when the self titled album came out in like 2014. i was such a huge fan in middle school so this was so nostalgic to write!!)

[reader + losers are in their first year of college, set around early summer 1995.]

2.9k words

♡

"i don't really know what else to do. we have an hour and a half until we meet everyone." you say, breaking the momentary silence that had fallen upon the car after bev had climbed out the back. you hum, settling back against the passenger seat, head lulling to meet richie's gaze.

you can't help but smile. he's looking at you - just staring, fingers drumming against the steering wheel. he hums, too, turning his head, arm grabbing the shoulder of your seat as he backs up the car. "i have an idea. let's just go - what?" he asks, smiling with a chuckle as he catches you staring at him.

you blink as you flush, "i don't know. just really missed you." you say with a laugh, shaking your head as memories flood your mind. his face flickers for a second and he shakes his head, hair bouncing slightly in his flattery. "gee, i missed you too. it kinda sucks that we all went to opposite sides of the country."

you blow air from your lips gently in agreement as richie starts to drive somewhere east. "yeah. not seeing you for six months is, surprisingly, pretty shitty." you say, causing richie to snort. "you could barely handle it." he says, hand shifting gears as he stops at a stop sign.

you roll your eyes, but you don't tell him the truth: he's right. "let me tell you, when i got the bear last, i sure wanted to forget all about you." you say, kicking your feet up on his dash.

you and the other losers all split ways after graduation. of course, you all still kept in touch with phone calls, letters, and that of the sort. but you all had found a favorite way to all still feel close together: a toy canvas bear bev found that you all signed and drew on, shipping it around the country and letting it stay with each person for a week.

you'd all been printing photographs of the bear with yourselves at various places around all your campuses and sending them along with the bear as little post cards. the most recent from richie had the tattooed-bear propped next to him at a party, smirking with the bear in a vulgar position that had made you roll your eyes so hard you almost got a headache.

that was in april, and you spent the month and a half after that missing richie and your other dumbass friends so much it hurt.

richie smiles, "oh, yeah. that bear had some fun times with us up in the ol' N-Y-C." "-don't call it that." "-anyways, i did miss you guys, i wish you could meet my roommate, charlie, he's a hoot. i almost wanted to stay up there and have you come to me, y'know?" you nod, all too familiar with that feeling. "yeah, i wanted to do that too. there was some kind of-" you stop, frowning. do you really want to admit this to anyone? will they think it's weird? but then you remember it's richie. "-i don't know, some kind of dread i felt at having to come back here."

it's quiet for a second, and you think you said something wrong, but richie's knuckles tighten slightly and he nods, "me too. i have...bad feelings from this place. i didn't want to say anything, but- i don't know. i feel like something's..." but the thought seems to swim away from his voice, getting lost in the dredges of his brain.

and then as if on cue, the old car bumps its way over a speedbump and you cross past old neibolt street near the tracks.

a sick shiver runs down your spine as your eyes fall on the long road, fading away and extending as far as your eye can see...almost into a foggy dark haze, the train tracks running parallel making you feel desolate.

clouds suddenly move to cover the sun in the sky and you feel cold - you feel like something happened here, something important - but you have no idea. it makes you anxious, so you just swallow, saying nothing and instead looking ahead. richie does the same, and his knuckles are pale against the wheel.

"the only reason i came back was so i could see everyone." you say. it's quiet, but you know richie's agreeing with you.

the car rumbles on, eventually pulling past your old high school. you perk up, pointing to the glass and laughing. "wow, look at that shithole."

"swore we'd never go back there, didn't we? when we left?" richie says, amusement lacing his tone. you're clearly both relieved to have changed the subject, and you nod, chewing your lip. "yeah. you know, i know it was really terrible and stuff, but i have some pretty fond memories from that place."

humming, richie nods and slowly pulls into the parking lot. “remember those days?” he says, “kickin back in the ol’ schoolyard during lunch.”

you do remember those hot days, richie, bill and bev smoking cigs while you and eddie play a game of marbles or scramble to copy richie’s math homework. ben reading a book, mike eating stan’s sandwich. the heat barreling down on the eight of you...

he stops the car next to the football field and you snort slightly at its misery in the dying purple and blue of the summer twilight. "remember those bonfires that were always over in the woods right there?" he points a chipped nail towards the dense trees on the other side of the field, and you can see it.

the crackling of the wood, the orange glow reflecting the light strands of stan’s dark curls. there’s a sea of students from your class and the class above, everyone rowdy with drunken fun. there’s laughter drowned out by the boombox placed on the outskirts, blasting a salt-n-peppa song that has eddie bouncing around with some kids from track. over to the side, you can nearly see bev's lips curl around a note as richie strums on someone else's guitar, putting together some surprisingly pleasant chords while mike throws twigs into the fire, singing softly with richie and bev.

you can almost smell the smoky hot air from those nights and you remember the odd sensation of feeling invincible back in those days, when your greatest fear was nothing more than coming across your parents when you were too hungover to remember anything the next morning.

it’s almost melancholic, the realization that you’ll never have those years again. you’ll never have your friend group in the same way as you did in high school, and it was barely over a year ago. it hurts a bit, until you realize you’re here, in the car with richie.

but still, despite the feeling, you grin. “why did we think it was a good idea to party so close to the school?”

richie chuckles, “it was safer. for some reason.”

it makes you smile, "i wonder if those pabst cans are still hidden in all those hollow logs." you muse, a gentle smile splaying over your lips. richie huffs a small laugh at the memory of jorge garcia drunkenly stuffing the empty beer cans quickly into the log when the cops came.

a car pulls into the vacant lot behind you, and richie takes the liberty of driving away again, still not really sure where you're going.

the trees roll past, and soon you're passing through the downtown section of derry, causing the two of you to fall silent as your eyes flick up and down the nearly desloate streets. the aladdin passes by quickly and you remember going to see so many films with the others for less than five bucks a pop, richie slipping an arm around your shoulders and whispering in your ear about the weird worker who always gave you the eyes.

you smile lightly as your eyes fall to look ahead, passing the corner store. you remember how many times you and richie and stan stopped there after classes or during lunch to grab slushes while the workers weren’t looking. you remember the sticky fingers and bright blue tongues.

then as you stare more at the ugly front of the store, memories from middle school scratch the surface of your brain. "didn't the boys..." you say, perking up as you turn and watch it pass, richie looking at you attentively. "-eyes on the road, rich." you say absent-mindedly, "...didn't they... steal stuff from there? i can't remember why... it was for ben. tissues?" you ask, tilting your head. richie's brows furrow. "i had to stay outside with him, all i remember is bein' pissed i couldn't go in. dunno why, though." he mutters. you hum, sinking back in your seat.

"crazy, how quickly you forget your childhood." he says quietly.

the town slowly fades away before your eyes, and its just then that you realize you're going the opposite way from bill's. then it's plain grassland and marshes, dipping into the barrens. your lips twitch and the silence, while pleasant, makes you feel nervous.

you look to richie, all nervous slowly releasing from your body.

you feel stupid for thinking it, and you don't dare say it, but there's something really sweet about being in the middle of nowhere with him.

you feel like driving along this ugly, terrible road on the outskirts of a truly ugly and terrible town with someone as beautiful and captivating as richie is such an important moment; as if the roads along here are a place only you and richie share to yourselves.

"i kind of like taking the long way home with you." you let slip instead, instantly feeling hot and panicked as the words leave your mouth. "y-you know, because i just really didn't want to- er, i don't like being-"

as you stutter out some excuses, he leans forward towards the wheel, face turning to you with a smirk. "oh?" he asks. you feel flustered, your hands sweating and heart tingling as you stare at his handsome face.

"god, sorry." you say, feeling flushed, "i don't know why i keep rambling. it's so awkward."

"y/n, you could talk about anything." he says with a laugh, and you look at him, trying to ignore the sheer zoo of animals parading around in your stomach and instead escaping this moment with a sarcastic, "even dead squirrels?"

he rolls his eyes and shakes his head, his hair glinting in the light. "yeah, whatever baby. i just don't wanna be wasting my time alone when i could be here with you. that's what i'm trying to say."

and the stupid pet name almost makes you snort but you also get butterflies, the words that he's said making you smile so wide you're almost embarrassed. "yeah, well." you say bashfully, "i guess spending my time with you is, like... the best part of coming back home."

you avoid eye contact, staring out the window as you pass the house of your junior year bio partner. "hey," richie nudges your jaw and you almost jump at the feeling of his cold ring against the warmth of your skin. he speaks softly. "i'd never let you down, you know." he says, mischief in his eyes. you smile against his hand and look at him, his blue eyes warm and inviting and looking like home.

your eyes fall back towards the windshield and you see a sign up ahead. shifting, you look at richie again to find him still staring.

he's got such a terrible habit of watching you instead of the road (he has since high school), and that combined with his lead foot (also since high school - wentworth tozier was a menace on the streets) has you conditioned into reminding him of every obstacle that he may run into while driving.

"stop sign, richie." you mutter, knowing in his ramble he won't notice it (it happened way too many times as high schoolers). he seems to not really hear it, and you say again, "stop sign!"

just before it's too late, the car lurches as he slams the breaks and you just barely hit the white line, your hands bracing yourself against the dashboard. "oh my god." you hiss, shaking your head. richie's laughing.

"we've been hitting every red light. can't i just have one pass to not stop at one of these things?" richie says. you roll your eyes with a slight head shake. you can't believe him.

"you'll be the death of me, tozier." you mutter. richie's still laughing quietly and then he takes a big sigh, hand reaching out. you lean forward, hand reaching for the volume knob on the stereo just as richie does the same, and your hands brush by accident. you feel warm and instead of pulling away, his hand covers yours and he gently turns your hands, bringing up the volume of a green day song. it's seemingly just in the background as you watch your hand in richie's, then slowly turning your gaze up to his face.

he just stares at you as you stare back, wanting so badly to kiss him but wondering if he feels the same.

"hey." he whispers, quiet for the first time possibly ever. "hey." you respond softly, watching as he comes a bit closer. his hand is still in yours. "i am so happy to be home. with you." he says sincerely, his eyes wide and honest behind his glasses and his smile soft. your breath catches slightly and you smile, "me too. i always feel like this is the way it's supposed to be. u-us."

something in richie's eyes change, a light of sort, and then he's leaning into you and you're kissing.

his hand that isn't in yours falls to softly rub your thigh and you're taking a shuddering breath as your lips touch his. he tastes like mint chapstick and those stupid red-hots he was eating earlier, his lips slightly cold but his tongue warm as he slowly pulls you closer to him.

your mind almost falls blank as the world melts away, the only thing in your mind is how long you've missed out on this - richie is kind of unexpectedly a fantastic kisser. you pull him closer by his hair as his tongue grazes yours, his thumb tilting your jaw for a better angle.

but suddenly a horn honks loudly behind you and you both spring apart, your stomach panging with anxiety at the noise.

"shit." you hiss as you remember you're at a stop sign. richie snorts slightly, a smirk on his face despite the blush on his high cheekbones, feet going back to the gas pedal and clutch. his hand leaves your thigh as he drives forward and you clear your throat as the car turns behind you at the intersection, leaving you two back in the middle of nowhere with just you two.

it's tense for a few minutes, neither of you two really talking and you can tell the tension is going to kill richie, his hand twitching on the shift and his leg bouncing.

you break the silence after a couple more moments, "did you want to pull over-" "-yes." he says quickly, car almost swerving as he pulls off the road near the quarry. you laugh and grip the handle of the car as you slide to a stop and he laughs too, the feeling of glee unmatchable.

you both unclick your seatbelts after gaining a few breaths, and then you're leaning over the console to kiss richie hard enough on the lips that he falls back towards the window. he holds your face with his hands and he laughs a bit into the kiss, teeth grazing your bottom lip before tugging it. "goddamn, you're eager." he mutters into your mouth.

you smirk, pulling back. "fine, i don't have to kiss you. we have to be at bill's soon, anyways." you say, feigning a fake dismissive voice.

"wait, no, no. we've still got 20 minutes." richie defends after glancing at the stereo on the dash. his eyebrows raising in a plea. you giggle, leaning towards him and bringing your arm over. he's beaming as your face nears his and he moves to kiss you but you turn your head, instead letting his lips graze your neck as you lean to turn off the headlights.

"tease." richie mutters hotly against the skin of your neck before biting down softly, kissing over the skin. "i thought you said i was eager?" you say with a teasing smile. he hums, "y'know, it's pretty unfair to be teasin' me, toots. i've been eager to kiss you since we were seventeen." he says, and you can't help but smile, pulling him in to a kiss as his hands slide up your thighs and yours tangle in his messy curls.

you pull away slightly, "you want to get in the backseat?"

taglist: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier @sft-core @clownsloveyou @moon-shine-baby @trashedfortozier @daughter-of-the-stars11 @oceandog13 @chl0bee @kait16xo @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @screammin @leighjaenikhowell @cowbellies @deepestofwaters @five-motherfucking-hargreeves @sassy-uris @loverloserrr @hauntingkaspbrak @soph-ec @hockslutter

#richie tozier x reader #losers x reader #losers club x reader #bill denbrough x reader #stanley uris x reader #eddie kaspbrak x reader #beverly marsh x reader #mike hanlon x reader #ben hanscom x reader

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beauregard-s · 4 years

Text

Out of His League | Eddie Kaspbrak

Pairing: Eddie Kaspbrak x Reader (21+)

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: language, alcohol, fluff, protected sex!, oral (male receiving), slightly sub!Eddie? Kind of a comfort fic? Eddie going through a hard time

@buckybarton03 said: “ hey!! can i request adult eddie x reader she’s not in the losers club be he brings her with him to derry to meet everyone and he gets super jealous over how good richie & reader get along :)”

A/n: First, my infinite apologies because it took so so long! But here it is and I hope you like it <3

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“Richie, no!” At least three different voices shouted.

“Richie, yes!”

And, as he roared at the top of his lungs, Richie threw his head back and swallowed the third blow job shot in a roll as you grimaced at that in between your laugh.

Yours and the whole table’s - Bill had snorted so hard he ended up spitting his drink. And, leaning against Eddie with his chin resting against your temple, you felt him chuckle. Not laugh. Chuckle.

Coming to Derry and meeting your boyfriend’s ride-or-die friends was scary in the beginning, sent you into a quiet anxiety spiral. You and Eddie met a year before and you never got the chance to personally get to know the famous Losers Club, the gang Eddie would always tell you about while nostalgically looking at the few childhood pictures he still had. You were not usually worried about what people would think about or if they’d like you, but when you found yourself flying over to Maine, you were pretty worried about your social skills. You just hoped you got along with them because if you didn’t you’d never forgive yourself.

You knew Eddie went through a lot during his life in that place and you also knew those six people were his real family, everything safe he had during those years of manipulation and abuse. If his friends didn’t like you, if something went wrong in any way... It’d break his heart.

You were stepping on thin ice. Until you met them.

You understood Eddie’s awe and loyalty to them right away. They were welcoming, they were fun and indeed, all of them together felt like a big family that engulfed you in. You got along with each of them, even with Stan’s fiancée, Patty, but Richie was the one you clicked with immediately after he hugged you and asked you what bet did you lose to end up with Eddie.

And Eddie was in pure bliss through the week of your little vacation, happy all his favorite people were getting along so well, but you noticed something there. The way his mood slowly shrunk to the point he spent that whole Saturday quieter. You knew something was bothering him even if he was sitting so relaxed in the restaurant, his arm resting on your chair around your shoulders, smiling at Richie’s tommyrot.

“Come on, y/n/n,” Richie coughed, choking due to the strong alcohol dose. “Drink a shot.”

“No way...” You shook your head immediately.

“Come on, y/n!” He whined. “Show us your skills!”

You lifted a brow at Richie’s devilish look, and Eddie exhaled a bit loudly by your side while Beverly went “beep beep Richie” mode in the background.

“The only one supposed to know my skills here is Eddie, Richie.”

There were a pair of whistles from across the table, maybe from Bill and Mike, and Richie raised his hands in rendition.

“Hey, Haystack! You do it!”

You looked away from Richie now teasing Ben and pressuring the poor guy on drinking raw tequila shots, paying attention to Eddie. He was taking the last sip of his virgin peach cocktail - because he was the one driving and god forgive it if he drank before driving.

“You okay? Wanna another one?”

He didn’t look at you, just shook his head.

“No, I’m good.”

“Really?”

That was your “I don’t believe in you, so I’m giving you a second chance to spill your tea” tone, and that made Eddie turn at you flashing a half-smile, thumb rubbing circles on your shoulder.

“Sure, babe.”

But of course he lied. He was, yes, dreary. So much he was silent through the whole way back to the hotel later and, when Bill and Stan wanted to stay outside for a while, enjoying the last hours they all had together before going to bed and flying back home in the morning, Eddie claimed he had a headache and a lot to pack and went straight upstairs the small hotel.

You knew his baggage was immaculate and ready by your bed. And he never had headaches.

His mother always claimed he was an ill boy, but, in fact, Eddie never got sick in any way, so it sent the red alert in your head and you followed him quietly through the way until you were safe and alone in your room.

“Eddie,” you cooed, locking the door behind you as he shrugged his jacket off, “are you telling me what’s wrong or…?”

He threw the garment over his suitcase in the corner, turning on his heels to face you.

“What? No, I’m okay! Really am.” He did it again, gave you that half-smile to try to mislead you away from the things he sometimes hid inside.

But you didn’t buy it. Leaned against the door, arms crossed in front of your chest. Locked eyes with him trying to find a gap, a minimal clue of what was going on, inevitably paying attention to his pink lips from your strawberry chapstick he’d borrow here and there.

“You are not.”

Your unconscious pouting was enough to make him break.

It was sudden. How his shoulders dropped slightly and he sighed, rubbing his face in the frustration he knew well but he thought he had left behind.

“It’s just…” He muttered. “I’m jealous, you know?”

You pushed up from the door immediately, gaping slightly at his words but he was faster, raising a hand so you’d let him explain himself.

“I’m not implying anything,” he smiled again, more truly this time, but sadder. “It’s just that…”

You perceived him struggling. He always struggled.

You remembered the day you met him. You were about to finish your internship in this huge company’s advertising department when you sat across this junior analyst guy during a meeting. Him. Eddie struggled all the time with his graphs, so nervous you could feel it from your seat. And when he looked up and saw you smiling at him, he froze for a second, growing ten times as nervous after that.

After he got to know who was the girl sitting in front of him at that table through two hours of pure boredness, it took him a whole month up the courage to ask you out. When he did, you smiled brightly and told him you were out at 6 pm next Friday.

And he felt his anxiety lower, just like it did in that hotel room when he saw how worried you were.

“I’m…” he crinkled his nose because the words for what he was feeling would sound too ridiculous. “I’m just jealous, y/n.”

You frowned.

“Jealous?”

“Yes.”

“Of?...” You gave him the lead.

“You and Richie.”

Your gape grew.

Eddie hummed frustratedly, miserably letting himself sink into the edge of the mattress. Its springs made this little sound that annoyed him because it implied how old that was and he wouldn’t stand thinking about the clean status of that thing.

“Eddie…”

“No, I know nothing is going on, okay!” He said, looking at his feet. “I know there’s no real reason for feeling this way and that it’s just me being paranoid.”

“And do you wanna elaborate or…?” You encouraged him.

He wanted to because you were the one who managed to get him, to soothe him. But he didn’t know how to do it with proper words.

“You know what Richie’s about. All the stuff I told you, and the stuff you saw the last few days. He’s the funny and popular one. I love him, I really do, don’t get me wrong but it didn’t stop me from thinking he kinda overshadowed me through our high school years, through college.”

You nodded although he wasn’t looking at you at the moment. He was so troubled he didn’t see you stepping out of your boots and walking over to him, only noticing how close you were when your shadow covered him.

“He always got more attention?” You said.

Eddie looked up, chuckling in embarrassment. “And the girls.”

You rolled your eyes and he groaned lowly in frustration. He held around your hips when you started running your fingers through his hair.

“You’re jealous because he keeps teasing me?”

“Yeah? Come on, you two look like you’ve been friends since ever,” his slightly more playful tone relaxed you. He was getting some relief by talking about it.

And indeed, you spent time with all the Losers but grew closer to Richie than the others for no special reasons. He’d pick on you, on Eddie. Would make great-horrible jokes and some great-great ones that got you laughing every time. It was simple affinity, but you could see where it stang on Eddie.

So you dropped your hand to his face and tilted his chin up. He finally looked at you, resting against your ribs.

“You know there are no real reasons for that though, don’t you?” You said softly.

He pulled away and his eyes quickly glanced down over the tight blouse and the skirt hugging your hips.

“To be honest, I do. You’re the hottest, smartest woman on earth and way out of his league…”

“Edward!” You slapped his shoulder softly.

But he was laughing, finally laughing.

“You know it’s true and yeah, okay” he whispered, arms around your waist squeezing you tighter against him. “It’s just my fucking insecurity talking because I know you’re out of my league too.”

“I’m totally in your league…”

“Oh, tell me about it.”

Eddie was practical. Words didn’t have much effect on his uneasy mind, so you felt the need to show him what you meant and you did it by lowering down to settle on his lap.

You didn’t break your eyes from his nor even for a second while your arms embraced his neck.

“There’s no need for it all,” you pecked his lips once. “Because you’re the one I’m in love with.” You pecked him twice and the last one turned into a deep kiss.

You felt the strawberry chapstick flavor when you nip on his lips because you knew exactly what it did to him. How it made a low grunt raise from the deep of his throat and his hips buck up slightly. The same goes for his neck and how kissing down his adam’s apple makes him sigh.

“Y/n/n…” he breathes out.

“Shut up and let me take care of you,” you cut him off, your purred voice and hands pulling off his shirt making him surrender.

Pressing your chest on his made him fall back on the mattress and you laid on top. The way his cheeks were already flustered made you feel those renowned butterflies inside. That and his hands pulling your skirt up until it was rucked around your waist. Eddie still had a ghost of a grin on and you made it disappear under your hips grinding against his.

“No shit, babe…” he groaned alongside the little moan you let out, feeling his hardening cock rubbing against your clothed slit.

For each time you rolled your lips, still committed to the task of kissing his sweet spot, Eddie’s sounds escalated a tone. His fingers dig into your hips, pushing you down against him, whimpering you stopped and got off him. His lidded eyes watched you stripping, as his hand immediately went for his jeans, pushing them way so fast he got you chuckling.

“Eager,” you teased.

“This isn’t new,” he retorted, eyebrow raising slightly.

But his attitude was washed away as soon as your skirt fell on the floor. Eddie wasn’t that much about lingerie, but you were wearing the laced set he gave you.

That was an unfair game. And the way you kneeled on the floor in between his legs was the unfairest one.

He sat up when you mouthed his clothed length before tugging down the boxers, earning yourself a moan as soon as your lips brushed the sensitive tip. You smiled up at him, something between a cute and devious one that had him gasping for air even before you attached your lips to him, tasting his precum.

An entire rope of curse came weakly from him, a hand of his going for your hair and pushing it back so he could see exactly what you were doing. You kept your eyes on his all the time, sucking him slowly, moaning and vibrating him. He was holding back, you felt he was, only brushing your hair when what he really wanted to do was wrap it around his hand and fuck your mouth. But he didn’t do that.

You said you were the one taking care of him that night and he let you.

Let you wrap your lips around him and swirl your tongue, making him whine, twitch in need when you sucked bolder, pulling him out with a little ‘pop’.

“Holy shit, y/n,” he panted.

“What, babe?” You pumped him through your pause. “Does it feel good?”

Eddie wasn’t able to stand up to the tease when you resumed blowing him. The way you dragged your tongue over the weak spot underneath his tip making his hips stutter and heat gather in there.

You pulled away as soon as he started twitching harder, feeling your slickness in your underwear. You rose kissing the ‘v’ muscles of his hips, all the way up his chest while pulling his boxers down completely, straddling him again.

Eddie immediately unclasped your bra and leaned into your chest, tracing the tip of his tongue around a nipple of yours before sucking it. His breath hitched when you cried out from that, doing it again and again, from a breast to the other, biting up your neck.

“I wanna fuck you so much, love…” He looked at your heated face, swallowing dry to the words that slipped off. “Please…”

His little moment of weakness was enough for you to reach down and touch him again. “What do you want? Say it again.”

He panted under how soft you could sound even when you were making him beg like that, reaching down for his pants on the floor, shaking his wallet open with your free hand and grabbing a condom he had in it. Tearing it open with your teeth.

“I want to fuck you,” he whimpered at how you unrolled it on his cock and pumped him. “Please, babe…Oh, fuck!”

You had pulled your underwear aside, guiding him in.

“Do it then,” you tried to keep your voice steady.

And it wasn’t possible.

Your demands turned into moans as he laid back, not even remembering about the noisy mattress. In fact, he liked the sound it made when you started to ride him. He liked how it joined your moans and his sharp breaths.

And that beautiful pleasured face of yours on top of him…

He didn’t like it. He loved it. Kept watching you the whole time, how you bounced perfectly on him, feeling so wet. How you held onto his arms when he caressed your sides and cupped your breasts. You were both being loud, but who cared? He wanted to be loud as it was a way of showing who you belonged to at the end. And how he belonged to you, too.

He started to thrust up against you as soon and he felt the tightening sensation around him. You were close, so damn close feeling him hitting the soft spot inside you. Feeling him massaging your breasts like that, fucking so fast into you.

“Eddie…”

The way you came saying his name drove him straight through the edge with you. He gripped your waist tightly as he thrust sloppily through your high, the way you pulsed around him making him smirk. And, when you couldn’t stand anymore, Eddie pulled you down to lay down on him.

You gladly took the chance because you felt your whole body falling apart. Laid down on him and nuzzled into his neck, his chest wavering you up and down. His occasional pleasured humming here and there making you smile.

“Still jealous, honey?”

If he had his eyes open, he’d have rolled them at your mocking tone.

“Not that much,” he admitted.“I love you so much, y/n,”

He whispered lazily, hand caressing the low of your back, a blissful smile on his lips you couldn’t see, but you could feel.

The butterflied were there again.

“I know, and I love you too, Eddie.” You adjusted yourself slightly and he whined, still buried inside you. “Sorry,”

He chuckled. “Don’t be, just… Give me some time.”

“Yeah? Why?” You raised a brow. He chuckled.

“Because in round two I’ll be the one taking care of you.”

345 notes · View notes

stenbrozier · 4 years

Text

Mixed Emotions (Teen!Bill Denbrough x Reader + Teen!Richie Tozier x Reader)

“Henlo! I couldn't find your masterlist ): so I don't know if you already did something like this, but could I request a hc where Reader is split between Bill and Richie, totally lost and confused because feels like they love both? If you're okay with it of course” - @beauregard-s

Plot: You’ve known Bill and Richie since you were kids, running around in their backyards and playing with water guns. As you grow older, you grow closer to them and involuntarily start to notice how absolutely lovely they both are. You don’t wanna destroy any friendships, but you also don’t wanna suppress your feelings any longer.

Warnings: Slightly NSFW (making out, groping), implied smut, mentions of smoking weed + drinking, a n g s t + swearing

A/N: I ended up making this a fic cause I had trouble with the headcanons, but I hope you still like it ❤️ Aged up to 17!!

——————————————————————————

Bill laughed loudly as Richie squirted you in the face with a water gun, causing you to drop yours and bring your hands immediately up to your face. You rubbed the water off of your face, trying to rub the sting out of your eye as well but not realizing you were making it worse until it hurt so bad you started to cry. Richie dropped his gun first, coming over to help you get whatever it was out of your eye.

“(Y/N/N), I’m sorry,” he said, his high pitched voice ringing in your ears as you tried to thrash and pull yourself away from him. “Bill, go get Mommy.” Bill ran through the backyard, banging on the glass sliding door before Mrs. Tozier appeared at it and wiping her hands on her apron. She opened the door, and Bill grabbed her hand, pulling her to where you were.

“Mommy,” Richie yelled loudly as he pointed at you, still crying and wiping your eyes. Mrs. Tozier ran right to your side, gently prying your hands away from your eyes as she saw the redness that took over your eye.

“Okay, Honey, can you blink?” she asked as you nodded, still blubbering as she softly blew into your eye. After a few minutes, you were able to blink without it stinging and your sniffling had stopped.

“Richie, you’re mean,” you mumbled as you pulled away from Mrs. Tozier going to sit next to Bill on the little porch swing they had. Mrs. Tozier has offered you and Bill to come over for a play date, and you guys usually loved being with one another and nothing and ever happened; however, Richie was being a bit of a “meanie”, as you would call it, and had shot you with a devilish grin on his face. His mom had him in time out, sitting on the stool at the corner of the porch while you cuddled up to Bill on the swing. You guys swung a bit, trying to sneak a conversation with Richie while his mom counted down the minutes of his punishment while she made you guys dinner.

Mrs. Tozier poked her head out of the glass door and curled her finger in a “come here” motion. She whispered something in his ear, patting his shoulder as she slipped back inside. Richie sprinted over the swing, hopping on it and causing it to rock back into the house, a smile dancing on his lips. He threw his arms around you as the swing swung back and forth, mumbling “I’m sorry” over and over again into your neck until you accepted his apology. You stayed snuggled up to Bill, and Richie wrapped himself around you. Bill’s stomach rumbled, and you giggled at the weird, moaning sound it emitted.

“You g-guys are my b-best friends,” Bill confessed after the fit of giggles that you set off. You smiled up at him, hugging him closer as you felt Richie reach his arms around to hug you both.

———————

You and Richie sat on that same porch swing, now 17, getting ready to live your last summer together before college. You had slept over the night before to avoid the inevitable chores your parents would’ve given to keep you away from the Losers, the friend group that had been growing ever since you were five. They didn’t like the most recent additions, addition being Bev and recent being about four years ago, and they only really liked the four original boys that you’d met through the playground and school. Bill, Richie, and you had known each other since diapers because of your moms meeting at the park while you were all playing. Stan and Eddie were the two you had acquired in kindergarten, noticing their reluctance to reach out. You decided to reach out to them, Bill and Richie tagging along and getting closer to them than you were.

However, making new friends had never separated the original trio. You and Richie were inseparable still, his outgoing personality a perfect match for yours. He had grown up a lot over the years, towering over you, and everyone, at 6’3 with skinny arms and legs. His face had thinned out and his chiseled cheek bones made every girl fawn over him, though none of them cared to admit it. None of them but you, that is.

You had developed a crush on him over the years. Truly, you think it’s more of you just finding him super hot and wanting to make out with him once or twice, but you still thought that there was some sort of attraction there. You knew that you wanted something with him, but you didn’t know what. You were pulled out of your thoughts with Bill sitting on your opposite side of the swing, throwing an arm around you and kissing the crown of your head. You looked up at him, his soft green eyes meeting yours.

Now, Bill was the one you knew you had a crush on. He had been your rock for so many years, had given you so much hope and love that you didn’t know what to do with it. When you were younger, you had always kinda liked Bill: the 5’7 boy with pretty green eyes and wispy brown hair that held you while you cried and let you stay over his house for weeks at a time. Everything with Bill was always so domestic feeling, while everything with Richie was fast paced and “live fast, die hard.”

You sat in between them both, shutting your eyes and leaning your head back as you basked in the soft breeze and low humidity. Suddenly, you heard the crash of the Tozier’s metal gate hitting the fence right next to and it jolted you out of your comfort. Bev and Eddie walked in first, Eddie mumbling to himself about the heat as he slathered on what looked, and smelt, like sunscreen.

“What the fuck,” Richie said loudly as he gestured towards the fence where Mike and Ben were walking in from. Ben closed the gate softly and you furrowed your eyebrows.

“Where’s Stanny?” you asked, looking around confused as Eddie shrugged his shoulders. From beside you, Bill began to speak.

“S-stan said he’d be a b-b-bit late. H-his dad nee-needed him to r-run some err-errands.” Everyone nodded, taking their seats on the wooden porch as you scooted closer to Bill so Eddie could squeeze in next to Richie. Richie looked over at Eddie with a look of adoration, and you stifled a laugh. Of course Richie loved Eddie and not you. It might’ve made your heart sink a little in your chest, but it was easier for you to now decide who to go after.

Or so you thought.

That night, after drinking and getting high in Richie’s backyard while his parents were away, you couldn’t stop thinking about his dark, curly hair or Bill’s nonstop attention on you. You had slept over Richie’s again, not wanting your parents to see you so inebriated. Richie was still wearing off the effects of his high, cuddling up to your side as a movie played on the VCR that his parents had in the living room. He was rambling on about how pretty everyone had looked today.

“Did you see Eds’ hair?” he asked incredulously. “It was so blonde today. Maybe it was the sun, but...” He snuggled closer to you, his head finding it’s way into the crook of your neck. Your heart raced at how close he was. Yeah, you guys had cuddled before, but this just felt different. You were about to reach out and grab his hand, but then soft snoring filled your ears.

“Fuck,” you mumbled, feeling his hands move to splay over your hip and pull you closer. You were in deep, for the both of them.

——————

The loud party music from inside the house made you whine as you cuddled into Richie’s side, one of his arms around you and the other around Eddie. Richie looked down to you at the small noise, rubbing your shoulder and covering your other ear as he realized you were sensitive to the sound.

“Richieee,” you whined loudly as you clawed at his chest. “Take me home.” You gave him puppy dog eyes as he shook his head, making you pout in despair.

“I can’t just take you home,” he said softly into your ear, leaving a kiss on your temple before continuing to talk. “Eds and Bill need a ride home, too, and only Mike and I have cars.”

You looked over to where your tipsy mind last remembered seeing Mike, and he was still over there, watching over the very drunk Stan and Bev, both of which who were screaming along to the music. Bill was with them before noticing you looking in that direction, and he staggered over to you. He sat down next to you, pulling you from Richie’s grasp and holding you in his lap. Your arms went around his waist, and you stuck your head into his neck.

“Y-you tired, (Y-Y-Y/N)?” he asked softly, seeming almost sober. He hadn’t had anything to drink that night, but he did have a joint or two and his eyes were a pinkish color. “We sh-should get R-Rich to take us ho-ho-home.”

“I already tried,” you said with a bite in your voice, sighing as you snuggled into him. “He’s just being an asshole.”

“L-let’s walk h-home,” he said softly, standing up before leaning down, motioning toward his back. You shook your head ‘no’, Bill’s face falling slightly at your rejection. “O-okay, then. Y-you just g-gonna wait for R-Richie?”

“Yeah, I was gonna sleep over again,” you mumbled softly, sighing when you looked into his sad green eyes. “My parents can’t see me like this.”

“Y-yeah, I-I guess th-they c-c-can’t,” Bill answered, giving you a tiny wave before going around to the Losers and saying his goodbyes. Your eyes met his again as he walked out the side gate of the yard, slamming it behind him as his shoulders slumped. Richie tapped your shoulder, opening his arm and letting you snuggle into his side. Eddie has run off to dance with Bev and Stan, and you snickered at him tripping over his own feet.

“Why’d Bill leave?” Richie asked you, looking down at you before running his hand over the top of your head and kissing your forehead gently.

“He said that he wanted to leave,” you said back, leaning up into the kiss, the slight upward movement with you head cause your brain to feel like it sloshed around in your skull. You groaned, cuddling into Richie again as he sighed.

“I’ll go get Eddie.” He squeezed your waist before standing up and walking over to a stumbling Eddie. Stan and Bev came running up to him with Eddie, Stan fussing with the collar of Richie’s shirt. A few minutes later, Eddie was trailing behind Richie with a pout on his face and a hand on Richie’s shoulder, steadying himself. Richie picked you up by the waist, holding his arm there until he could get you to the car. You weren’t completely drunk anymore, the three or four beers had started to wear off, but you were still a little high from the joint or two that Bill had smoked near you and blew into your face.

“Rich?” you mumbled as he got into the car, checking the backseat to make sure Eddie was okay while you sat next to him in the passenger’s seat. He hummed, looking back at you with a tiny smile on his face. “Can I sleep with you in your bed tonight instead of on the couch? So we can cuddle?” He chuckled lightly, nodding his head and placing a hand on your thigh to gently squeeze it.

“Of course, doll,” he answered back softly, pulling away and starting the car. He drive to Eddie’s first. His mom was away for the week so that meant he could let loose a little and not worry about consequences.

“Bye Eds,” you said with a soft smile, Richie helping him inside. You could see Eddie’s bedroom light turn on, and you knew that Richie was helping him get ready for bed in a calm manner. You knew Richie wouldn’t have left him there by himself because of how caring and loving he was towards his friends, but Eddie didn’t like sleeping at other people’s houses besides Bill’s. You sat and watched the lights in the house turn on and off as Richie went into a left other rooms, probably getting Eddie water and Aspirin for the morning. A few moments later, all the lights shut off, and the front door opened, Richie’s lanky body walking out of it with a bit of a tired limp. He came into the car, sighing and sitting down in the driver’s seat.

“He’s tiring when he’s drunk,” Richie said with an exaggerated sigh, looking over at you with a smile on his face. You smiled back, noticing the glimmer in his eye when you did. He traced his eyes over your body quickly, not caring that you knew he was doing it. He sighed heavily, turning around in his seat and starting the car back up, putting his hand on your thigh and squeezing. You cleared your throat, looking down at his hand.

“R-Richie-“ He cut you off with a chuckle.

“I see the way you look at me,” he said softly, turning the corner onto his street. “The cuddling, the eyes. It might not mean more than just you think I’m attractive, which is fine, but-“

“Richie, I have a crush on Bill,” you blurted out, watching the way his face went from confident to skeptical as he pulled up the front of his house.

“Well you’re staying the night,” he started, taking his hand from your thigh as you both got out. He came around to your side of the car, caging you in against it as you looked at him with wide eyes. Richie’s face was inches from yours, and he raised his eyebrows. “Can...can I-“

You didn’t give him the chance to finish before you leaned up and planted your lips onto his hungrily, the only illumination being the streetlight across the street that was flickering on and off incessantly.

“Inside?” you mumbled against his lips. He nodded, lifting you up so you could wrap your legs around his waist. One of his hands was kneading your ass, the other fishing for his house key since his parents were away visit Went’s parents for the weekend. He unlocked the door with you still in his arms, slamming it shut and running up the stairs before you even realized you were inside. Richie threw you on his bed, slipping off your shoes aggressively as he pushed his off.

“Mm, you’re so pretty like this,” Richie mumbled as he climbed on top of you, kissing your neck gently as he messed with the bit of your bra strap that was peeking out of your shirt. He hungrily kisses your lips as he reached under your shirt to undo your bra, earning a moan from you. He decided to pull off your shirt first, smiling at you as you sat up and raised your arms above your head. He admired for you for what felt like hours, eyes tracing down your body as he smiled gently.

“You gonna get me naked and fuck me, Tozier?” you teased, brining one of your hands up to softly run against his chest.

“You...you have a crush on Bill, though. I should...I should-“

“Don’t stop,” you begged loudly, tightening your legs around his hips. “I want you right now. Please?” Your puppy dog eyes had Richie melting immediately. He growled, ripping off his shirt before working on getting you naked, the whole time trailing kisses down your body, worshipping you.

“Are you sure?” he asked one last time, looking deep into your eyes as he massaged his hand over your side.

“Yes, Rich,” you begged, writhing underneath him. “Please.” He dove into your lips, kissing them and nipping at them, his hands roaming as you arched into his touch.

——————

You woke up to a soft creaking, and you felt arms tighten around you right after it. You looked up to see the underside of Richie’s face, his jaw clenching at the same sound that had awoken her.

“Rich, are you-“ Bev’s voice rang through the room and stopped abruptly, noticing you in bed with him. You jolted upright, wrapping the comforter further around you as Richie groaned at your sudden movement and Bev’s voice.

“I’m up, I’m up,” he said groggily, his arm still around your waist as he sat up with you. “Get out so we can get dressed.”

“W-we?” Bill asked as he barged into the room. His face dropped into a scowl when he saw you there, and he mumbled something to himself before walking out of the room. His pounding footsteps could be heard going down the staircase and out the front door.

“Can...can you guys wait for us outside?” you meekly asked, rubbing your hands over your face as you heard the retreating footsteps. “Richie, I fucking told you we shouldn’t have done this.”

“Babe, you weren’t complaining,” he says with a cocky tone. “Besides, it’s not like you’re dating Bill.”

You leaped out of his bed at that, grabbing your jeans and underwear off the floor and sliding them on. You searched for you shirt angrily, not being able to find it, so you went into his drawers and pulled out one. You threw it on, tying it up in the back since it was a little long. He came up behind you, softly placing his hand on your shoulder before you jerked away.

“I have a crush on Bill,” you said with a bit of bite in your voice. “Not you, Richie. Bill. And I can’t believe I slept with you!”

“(Y/N), you wanted-“ Richie’s voice was calm and collected, the complete opposite of your abrasive and loud voice.

“I fucking know I wanted it, asshole,” you screamed. “But I want Bill. I want everything with Bill. I’m sorry if you have feelings for me, but they’re not reciprocated.”

You grabbed your shoes from for the floor, slipping them on before you marched out of Richie’s house angrily, passing all of the Losers. Bill sat on the curb outside the house, and he gave you a sad look as you passed him.

“Wh-where are you g-going?” he asked confused, gesturing towards the others.

“Home,” you yelled back. “I’ll see you guys later.” You felt Bill’s eyes on the back of your neck as you walked away. The sound of Richie’s front door slamming made you look back again. You saw him run his hand through his hair as he searched for you, but by the time he had looked over to where you were walking, you had turned onto the next block.

#bill denbrough smut #bill denbrough headcanons #bill denbrough x reader #richie tozier smut #richie tozier x reader #richie tozier headcanons #mike hanlon x reader #beverly marsh x reader #ben hanscom x reader #eddie kaspbrak x reader #stanley uris x reader #it chapter one imagines #it chapter two imagines #masterlist

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dracos-eternity · 4 years

Text

This is a Richie tozier imagine

Contains smut

Um it might suck, yeah

Y/N P.O.V.

"F-fuck Richie." I moan out as his fingers curl inside me making my legs tremble as his other hand snakes up my side and wraps around my neck, choking me. I grab at the sheets and arch my back as the euphoric high hits me, a wave of pleasure washing over my body, my eyes rolling back, mouth slightly agape, breathing quick and short.

"Y/N, wake up." I roll over to look at my best friend, Richie Tozier, the true trashmouth. I've loved this boy longer than I can remember, we've only ever been friends though. I don't think he loves me the same way I love him. Me and Richie have been inseparable from birth. "Y/N?" His voice snaps me out of my thoughts, and my face turns red realizing the dream I just had right beside him.

"Yes Richie?" I reply, hoping I didn't say anything out loud.

"Are you okay? You were moaning in your sleep." He laughs at my face, embarrassment covering it.

"Fuck you Richie." I say pushing his shoulder as I laugh.

"Apparently you want to." I freeze and he smirks letting out a high pitched, whiny moan. "FuCk RiChIe." He says mocking me and I mentally facepalm. I push his shoulders causing him to fall back on my bed and laughs before sitting up and pushing me back falling between my legs, letting his hands fall to each side of my head. He stares down at me, his eyes darting from my lips to eyes. He leans down and crashes his lips against mine, I sit still, shocked, unable to move, and fucking happy. He pulls back, sitting up and looks down. "Fuck, I'm sorry Y/N. I thought you wanted it and I-" I cut him off smashing my lips back onto his, letting my arms rest on his shoulders as I run my fingers through his hair. We pull apart for air resting our foreheads against eachother.

"I love you Richie, always have." I smile.

"Me to Y/N." He pulls me close by my waist pulling me onto his lap and kisses me, trailing the down jaw and onto my neck leaving behind hickeys. I moan out and he grabs my hips pushing me down and making me grind against him causing my head to fall back and let small moans continue to fall from my mouth. We hear a knock on my door and instantly break apart before I get up fixing my hair to cover the hickeys and open the door, revealing the losers. The gang stifles chuckles and bev points to her collar bone, I look down to mine and notice the bright purple hickey. My face turns red and Richie comes up, grabbing my hand and laughing. "Y'know eddie I have your mom one last night to." He breaks the tension and we laugh. The losers step out the house and we head to the bunker Ben made for us.

~time skip bc im to lazy to write the walk there~

"You two are cute." Bev laughs at me and Richie, our face turning bright red as I roll over hiding my face in his chest. We are currently laying in the hammock, me between his legs as he reads a comic book, resting his arms on my shoulders.

"Oh, this is cool." Eddie says in midst of his rant on how unsafe this is.

"That was like three dollars, so be careful with that please."

"I have one of these." Eddie says picking up the object, and beginning to play with it, the ball flying towards Stan's face. "Stan you see this?"

"Yeah could you maybe not." Stan says flinching each time the ball flies towards him.

"Could I maybe not what? Maybe not what Stan? Maybe not what? Maybe not be awesome and have fun and CELEBRATE THE MAGIC OF THE PADDLEBALLLLLLL." He yells as he breaks the toy, it falling out his hand. "Oh good job fucknut you broke it." He deadpans looking up at Stan.

"I broke it?"

"Yeah you broke it with your face."

I laugh at his pure crackhead idiocy before getting up and walking over to bev. We start up a conversation before hearing Eddie and Richie begin to argue about the hammock. Stans voice speaks low halfway through a conversation about where we'll be when we're older.

"Do you guys think we'll still be friends?" He questions catching our attention. "When we're older?"

"What, why wouldn't we be?" Ben responds taking the words out my mouth.

"Kay, do any of your parents still hang out with their friends from middle school?" It makes me wonder, he has a point but our friendship is deeper than that right? After all we are fighting off a giant clown fucking together. We look around the room as he talks faintly in the background "I mean things might be different then." I try to stifle a laugh as I watch Eddie, who has layed in the opposite end of Richie in the hammock, pull off Richies glasses with his feet before smacking his face with his foot. "We all might be different."

"We'll always s-s-still be friends, I-I don't t-think that g-g-goes away just b-b-because we get older." Bill responds.

"Yeah Stan, come on." Bev joins in. "You don't have to be so sad." She continues.

"Guys I hate to break it to you and ruin the sensitive moment but we ran out of snacks." Mike interrupts.

"L-l-lets go get some." Bill stutters out. The rest agree except Richie and I offer to stay with him. The gang leaves and Richie looks at me, smirking as he gets up from the hammock and walks towards me.

~the smut shall begin😌~

He pins his hands on either side of my head, trapping me in. He leans down and kisses me, slowly, agonizingly slow. One of his hands reach to the small of my back pulling me in and I feel something press against me, causing me to moan into the kiss. He takes his opportunity and slides his tongue into my mouth, fighting mine for dominance. He pulls away, pulling my shirt off. He looks at me before grabbing my boobs and massaging them over my bra. I moan and lean my head back, giving him access to lean down and mark my neck with love bites and hickeys. I undo his jeans and push them down slightly just enough for them to fall to his ankles. I look down at the bulge and instantly feel myself get wet. He pulls my shorts and panties down in one swift move before moving me over to the table beside me, he sits me on it and I looks at me. "Y/N, your sure you're ready?" I nod my head and he likes himself up with me, I wince as he pushes in further, tears form in my eyes and begin to fall down my face as small whimpers of pain escape my mouth, he wipes my tears once he's all the way in and sits there giving me time to adjust as he grab onto his shoulders. "Please Richie." I say, he moves at a slow pace and my moans fill the bunker. He quickens soon and I feel a knot in my stomach. "Fuck, I'm close." He looks at me nodding his head and I cum tightening around him, he buries his face in the crook of my neck letting out loud groans as he cums inside me. We stay like this for a few minutes before we hear footsteps above us and scramble to get our clothes on. Everyone comes down and stares at us.

"What?" I question, everyone laughs as Bev points to her neck and looks up at Richie.

"Beep beep Richie." She says laughing at us.

#richie toizer imagine #richie #beep beep richie #it2017 #richie toizer x reader #imagines #smut #richie tozier #trashmouth tozier #richie trashmouth #richie trashmouth tozier

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ur-not-reddie · 3 years

Note

I have a request!

So, the losers all go to a cabin for the weekend, they’re all like NO BANGING GUYS, Mikes family owns it or something. Richie and Eddie have been together for a while, and the losers know, but Richie and Eddie are SUPER private. Like, one time Ben caught them kiss, but that’s it. Richie gets jealous because some cashier or something was flirting with Eddie. Eddie’s like “you know what Richie whatever” and he tries to ignore Richie, but Richie makes it very difficult (yknow, yknow). They end up fucking and whoever’s bedroom is next to theirs can hear them, and Eddie limps out the next morning all covered in hickies and everyone’s like sheesh what the fuck happened.

a/n: for context, this takes places after their first year in college and going back to derry that summer to meet up with the rest of the losers again :)

word count: 2.1k

All the Losers pull up to the cabin that Mike’s family is letting them use for the weekend. They all climb out of their cars, grabbing all of their belongings, bringing them inside as they all stumble through the front door. Everyone starts to look around, taking in the scenery.

“Before we get settled,” Mike says, getting everyone’s attention. “There are a few rules.”

“Rules?” Richie asks in a mocking type of tone.

“Yes, rules.” Mike says sweetly, flashing a genuine smile before explaining. “They’re fairly simple: clean up after yourselves, don’t ruin anything,” Mike glances quickly at Richie. “And lastly, no banging or hooking up!” Richie and Eddie exchange looks, a look that says ‘challenge accepted’.

The Losers all grab their belongings and split off into separate rooms. Mike in the main front bedroom, Beverly and Ben in one room, Stan and Bill in the other, while Richie and Eddie take the last back bedroom. Eddie opens the door, Richie following in after him. Richie shuts the door, snaking his arms from behind Eddie and pulling him close.

“Eds,” Richie whispers in Eddie’s ear, pressing soft kisses to the back of his neck. Eddie closes his eyes, letting out a pleased hum as he leans back into Richie. Eddie’s about to lose himself in Richie's touch when Mike’s words start ringing in his ears.

“Richie, we can’t.” Eddie says as he gets out of Richie’s warm embrace and turns to face him. “Remember what Mike said?”

“Oh, I remember.” Richie smirks as he grabs at Eddie’s hips, pulling him close again. “That doesn’t mean I’ll follow them.”

“I know, because you never do.” Eddie gives a soft laugh as he backs up again, heading to the door. “But later…” he winks terribly as he exits the room. Richie rolls his eyes playfully, shaking his head as his mind wanders off to all the things he wants to do with Eddie while following after him.

They meet the rest of the Losers in the living room where they’re watching a scary movie while eating homemade pizza and sitting by the fireplace. Richie and Eddie grab plates, getting slices of their own and joining the others who are sitting on the floor. And Eddie, who’s the most scared, occasionally jumps, hiding his face in Richie’s arm. Richie so badly wants to put his arm around Eddie, hold him tightly as he tells him it’s all fake and just a movie, but Richie refrains.

The thing is with these two is that they are secretly together even though it’s not so much of a secret to the others. They’re such a tight knit group, and they know each other so well that they can read each other like a paperback book. Thankfully, they’re all respectable and don’t pressure Richie and Eddie to come out.

After the movie is over, they all take care of their dishes, help clean the kitchen before they all split off into their rooms. Richie grabs at Eddie, pushing his back into the wall as he traps Eddie’s lips with his own in a needy kiss. Eddie kisses back, standing up on his tiptoes, entangling his fingers in Richie’s thick, dark hair. Richie then slips his tongue inside Eddie’s mouth, exploring a little harshly.

“R-Rich,” Eddie says against Richie’s lips, giggling as he breaks the kiss. “What’s gotten into you?” Eddie lets out a few more giggles.

“What do you mean? I just want you like always.” Richie smirks with a purr.

“I know, but it’s more than usual.” Eddie says, eyes going wide as he realizes how that could possibly be taken the wrong way. “I don’t mind it, trust me, I really don’t.” Eddie bats his eyes at the other. Richie sighs, his smirk slightly fading.

“It’s just, before we came here, I saw the cashier looking you all up and down like you’re some fucking three course meal!” Richie exhales heavily in frustration, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Richie,” Eddie can’t help but let out even more giggles. “It means nothing. I like you and I want you... In every way all the time.” Eddie runs his hands over Richie’s clothed chest. “Those other people can look at me however they want, but I only see you.” Eddie says sincerely.

“Fuck,” Richie exhales as he cups Eddie’s face, smashing their lips back together. Eddie lets out a surprised squeak, but kisses back just as intensely.

Richie picks Eddie up and lays him down on the bed, settling between Eddie’s legs as he hovers over him. He keeps the kiss intense, exploring a bit more before Richie starts kissing along Eddie’s jaw and down his neck. Eddie lets heavy sighs escape past his swollen lips, tilting his head to the side as Richie slides his hands under Eddie’s shirt. He takes it off of Eddie and lets it fall to the floor as he starts sucking dark bruises along Eddie’s neck and collarbones.

“Oh god, Richie.” Eddie lets out a deep moan, covering his mouth with his hand as he keeps thinking of the rules that Mike talked about.

“I’m hardly touching you, baby. Just kissing and sucking and you’re acting like a bitch in heat.” Richie teases with a growl, his already dark eyes growing even darker with lust. Eddie’s cheeks burn bright red, his eyes shifting downcast for a second, then meeting Richie’s gaze again.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says sheepishly causing Richie to chuckle.

“Don’t be sorry, baby, I love how desperate you get for me.” Richie kisses at Eddie’s lower belly, still keeping eye contact with him. He then takes off his own shirt before popping the button on Eddie’s jeans and slowly.

“Please,” Eddie begs. “Please don’t tease me.” Eddie lets out a whimper.

“Alright, baby, I won’t.” Richie hums honestly as he slides Eddie’s jeans off of his legs and lastly his boxers. “So stunning,” Richie exhales, he never fails to compliment Eddie; never failing to make him feel as good as possible.

“No, no, I can’t be the only one who’s naked.” Eddie raises an eyebrow, giving Richie a testing look. Richie hums, also raising an eyebrow as he finishes undressing.

“Hands and knees,” Richie orders gently. Eddie does as told, leaning down to press the side of his face against the mattress.

Richie runs his hands softly over Eddie’s ass, massaging and squeezing gently. Eddie closes his eyes, smiling at the soft actions. Richie repeats this for a bit before suddenly spreading his ass wide open and licking a slow stripe at his entrance, Eddie letting out a surprised and loud squeal.

“Wow, baby.” Richie chuckles.

“I… I wasn’t expecting that.” Eddie’s words are muffled, burying his whole face in the pillows, feeling way past embarrassed.

“I know, we haven’t done this in a while, huh?” Richie smirks, making Eddie uncover his face. “I want to see your beautiful face twist and turn as I eat you out,”

Richie spreads Eddie’s legs more, making him all wide and open before he licks back at Eddie’s hole. Eddie bites down on the pillow, gripping the sheets so hard his knuckles turn white. Richie then starts to swirl his around, occasionally poking his tongue inside.

“Rich!” Eddie’s moans are muffled, Richie growling, grabbing the pillow and throwing it to the floor.

“I want to fucking hear you!” Richie growls louder, smacking Eddie’s ass harshly, causing him to squeak. Richie then starts working his tongue harder and faster, making Eddie anything but quiet. “That’s it, good boy.” Richie pulls back, sucking in his fingers briefly before sliding one inside of Eddie.

“O-oh fuck!” Eddie mewls, eyes rolling in the back of his head. Richie pumps his finger slowly at first but is not satisfied when Eddie hushes his sounds, so Richie picks up the pace and adds a second finger.

“Richie! Richie, please!” Eddie’s voice quivers, nearly in tears as his cock is leaking desperately.

“Please what?” Richie asks in faux innocence.

“Oh, fuck you! You know what I want!” Eddie groans in frustration as he turns over and lays on his back to face Richie.

“God, you’re pushing it. You’re lucky we’re at where we’re at or you’d so be punished.” Richie’s eyes narrow down at the other.

“Oh we truly are lucky, aren’t we?” Eddie keeps testing the water, trying his best to hold back his devious smile.

“That’s it,” Richie says, grabbing Eddie’s ankles and pulling him down, Richie having Eddie wrap his legs around his waist. “When we get back home, you are in major trouble.”

Eddie lets out a nervous laugh, knowing he is in absolute trouble when they do get back home, but he doesn’t show it. Instead, he cups Richie’s face and brings him down with a rough kiss, Richie returning the action as he teases his cock against Eddie’s aching hole before pushing all the way in. Eddie breaks the kiss, gasping as he throws his head back, back arching as he digs his nails into Richie’s shoulders.

Richie thrusts at a rapid and somewhat aggressive pace. He pins Eddie’s hips to the mattress as the tip of his cock rubs against his prostate causing Eddie to be anything but quiet. Eddie opens his eyes, panting heavily as he scrapes his nails down Richie’s back, Richie hissing in gratification.

“Are you going to cum?” Richie asks in a low, husky tone that sends shivers down Eddie’s spine.

“Yes! Please, please?” Eddie whines, eyes starting to glaze over.

“Go ahead, baby, cum for me!” Richie demands, grabbing Eddie’s dick and pumping him in the same rhythm as the thrusts, Eddie cumming almost immediately, hole tightening around Richie’s length, causing Richie to cum inside of Eddie uncontrollably. “Fuck,” Richie moans, exhaling a shaky breath, heart punching at his chest. “That was so fucking good.” Richie whispers as he rests his forehead against Eddie’s.

“It really was,” Eddie smiles, giving Richie an eskimo kiss. “Am I… Am I still in trouble when we get back home?” Eddie asks, batting his eyes, hoping Richie changed his mind.

“Oh, most definitely.” Richie smirks and pulls out of Eddie, both cleaning themselves up before cuddling up into each other and falling asleep.

The next morning, Richie is the first one awake. He turns over, looking at Eddie and smiling, thinking Eddie resembles a soft angel, although he would probably never tell him that. Richie grabs gently at Eddie, pulling him close to his body. “Good morning,” Richie greets in a sing-song type tone. Eddie shifts around, mumbling sleepily, eventually waking up.

“Good morning,” Eddie says back, giving him a weak and tired smile back.

“How’d you sleep?” Richie asks, raising a hand up to Eddie’s cheek, his thumb stroking gently.

“Like a rock,” Eddie stretches and yawns. “How about you?”

“Also like a rock,” Richie stretches well, before sitting both of them up. “We should get dressed and head out for breakfast, I think everyone else is in the kitchen.”

“Okay,” Eddie says as he gives another yawn and stands up, taking a step and noticing how sore he is. He starts to get dressed, throwing on a clean shirt and a pair of sweats before looking at himself in the mirror, noticing that his neck is covered in hickeys. “God dammit, Richie!” Eddie raises his voice, running his fingers softly over the bruises.

“Whaaaat?” Richie chuckles, standing behind Eddie and pressing small kisses to the top of his head. “Let’s go eat,” Richie says as he also throws on some comfy clothes. Eddie starts walking to the door, having a slight limp with how sore he is.

“I’m going to need your sweatshirt, I don’t want them to see…” Eddie turns to face Richie, giving him puppy-dog eyes.

“Of course,” Richie smiles as he grabs Eddie’s favorite hoodie of his. Eddie grins, taking it happily and throwing it on, covering his hickeys almost perfectly. “Okay,” Richie kisses Eddie’s head again before they walk out the door and into the kitchen.

The rest of the Losers are in the kitchen, conversing until they see the two walk in, the chatter ceasing. They notice that Eddie is wearing Richie’s sweatshirt and limping, but they decide not to comment on it. They all know Richie and Eddie are together, but don’t pressure them to talk about it, they want the two to tell them on their own terms. The other’s greet the two, grab plates and start dishing up breakfast. That’s when Stan pulls Richie aside into another room, smacking him hard upside the head.

“What the fuck, Stan?!” Richie raises his voice, rubbing the back of his head.

“I could not sleep all night because of you two!” Stan groans. “All I heard was Eddie moaning and the headboard banging against the wall,” Stan rubs his temples in mere disappointment. “Look, I won’t say anything to anyone. Just, for the love of-” Stan cuts himself off. “Just please, follow the rules at least sometimes?” Richie laughs at Stan’s request and heads back out into the kitchen, joining everyone else again as they enjoy the rest of their time at the cabin.

#reddie #reddie fanfiction #reddie fic #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #top!richie #bottom!eddie #the losers club #losers club #losers club fanfic #losers club fanfiction #it 2019 #it fanfic #it stephen king

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santacarlahorrorshow · 3 years

Text

There’s a Bad Moon on the Rise (Ben Hanscom/Reader) (2/3)

Summary: You're Richie's twin sister and a member of the Losers' Club. When the other members all pack up and leave town, you elect to stay behind with Mike to wait for It to come back. After 27 years pass and Pennywise returns, will you and the other Losers be able to finally defeat him?

Pairing: Ben Hanscom/Reader; Richie Tozier & Reader; Background Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak

Word Count: 5.9k

Author’s Note: This is finished at 16k. I decided to split it up into three parts to make it easier. If you enjoy this, then letting me know would make my day! If you’ve seen It: Chapter Two, then you know what you’re in store for regarding warnings...but with the added fun of some canon divergence!

Masterlist / Read on AO3 / Part One

When you got to the Townhouse, you were unsurprised to see that Eddie was practically ready to run out the door and Richie wasn't far behind him. But both seemed to have been brought up short by whatever was going on with Beverly and Ben in the Townhouse's lounge.

You stopped just in the doorway, trading an uncertain look with Richie, before you focused on what they were talking about.

When you realized that Beverly had somehow known the details of Stan's death, you started to wonder what else you were missing.

It wasn't until Bill and Mike arrived and it was revealed that Beverly had seen all of your deaths thanks to her time caught in the deadlights in ‘89 that everyone started to realize there was no fleeing Derry this time. Either you all stayed and killed Pennywise once and for all or none of you would even make it another twenty-seven years to try again.

You were all cursed and doomed to die horrible deaths if Pennywise lived. It seemed your only options were to stay and fight or flee and die.

"Well," you started as you glanced at Mike. "I've waited twenty-seven years in this shitty little town for this moment. I'm in," you told the group with a resolve you mostly felt out of a need for revenge. Revenge for Stan and revenge for the lost years of your life you would never get back. Revenge for the nightmares and incessant fear that had haunted you since you were a child and revenge for all of the children who had lost their lives to Pennywise. Revenge for Georgie and revenge for the grief countless families had endured in Derry because of It.

You met Bill's eyes for a brief moment and noticed he looked just as determined as you felt to finally finish It once and for all.

Once everyone else had agreed to stick around and try to finish the fight, Mike mentioned a ritual he discovered that would be able to kill It. You couldn't help the frown you aimed at him as he explained the Ritual of Chüd. In all the years you had stuck by Mike's side, he had never once mentioned the ritual to you. From the way he was carefully not meeting your eyes, you knew that it was something he had purposefully done. When Bill seemed to support Mike's words, you were helpless to stop the brief moment of jealousy you felt that Mike would trust Bill with that information but not you.

As you trailed at the end of the group on the trek across town, you couldn't help wonder if the ritual would work. There was something that didn't quite add up about the bigger picture, but you weren't sure what it was yet. You needed more details and the only person who could fill those in was Mike.

Going back to the clubhouse was a trip down memory lane you hadn't been aware you needed. You usually avoided the woods, for good reason, but being with the group provided you with the courage you sometimes lacked when you were on your own.

You enjoyed watching the other members uncover old memories until Richie scared you all with his own impression of Pennywise.

"Are you going to be like this the whole time we're home?" Eddie wondered as he glared up at Richie.

Richie rolled his eyes before glancing away. "I was just trying to bring some levity to this shit," he grumbled before he sighed. "Alright, guess I'll go fuck myself, then," he muttered before he ducked under a beam and started rifling through a crate that held a few old comic books and other odds and ends.

"What are we doing here, Mike?" Bill asked as he glanced up from a shelf full of old trinkets that used to belong to the group.

"Yeah, not that I'm not loving the nostalgia of all this, but what's the point?" Richie added with a frown.

"I brought you here because I need you all to remember. If we're going to complete the ritual, then you all need an item. An artifact. Something that's connected to the past and to that summer." Mike explained as he considered everyone in the group.

"Why?" You couldn't help but wonder as you looked around the clubhouse. "What kind of artifact should we be looking for?"

"It's different for all of us, but it has to be something personal. The Ritual of Chüd requires a sacrifice and that sacrifice will be your artifact. I brought us all here, because I thought this might be where we find Stan’s artifact.”

When Eddie pointed out that Bill had already found Stan’s artifact, a shower cap that had been left behind in 1989, you all shared a brief moment of silence as you remembered the thoughtful boy who had insisted wearing the caps would be the only way to prevent spiders from getting in your hair.

Once you all left the clubhouse, Eddie turned to look at Mike. “So, where should we find our artifacts or tokens or whatever?”

“It’s different for all of us, which is why we're going to need to split up."

"Hey, no, fuck that," Richie denied with a quick shake of his head. "Every horror movie ever explains why that's a bad idea."

"Yeah, I'm not going anywhere by myself if I can help it," Eddie was quick to jump in.

"No, it has to be alone," Mike insisted as he glanced from Richie to Eddie. "There are memories that you have to uncover on your own."

"What's left?" Richie asked as he squinted at Mike. "We remember everything from that summer already. We joined forces and fought It and suffered through some shit that years of therapy probably won't help. What else is there?"

"We weren't always together," Mike pointed out as he met your eyes. "There was a point during that summer when we were separated."

"After Eddie broke his arm," you remembered with a frown.

"After the fight," Beverly added with a nod.

"Well, fuck," Richie seethed with a scowl.

From the way Eddie scoffed, you had a feeling he agreed with the sentiment.

“You all need to unlock those memories, because that’s how you’re going find your artifacts. Tokens,” Mike amended with a quick look at Eddie. “And once you have them, we’ll all meet up at the library. We can figure out how to proceed from there.”

Before the group split up, you managed to grab Richie's jacket sleeve to grab his attention. He slowed down until you were walking side-by-side at the edge of the group.

"You alright?" You couldn't help but wonder as you considered your brother. You hated to admit it, but he seemed like the biggest flight risk at the moment. You knew your brother was brave and reckless, but he also didn't seem completely on board with the plan to defeat Pennywise.

"Peachy," he assured you with a grin that was a bit too wide and forced to be anything but fake.

"Richie," you admonished with a tone you hadn't used for years, but clearly told him you weren't going to take any of his bullshit.

"I just..." he trailed off with a frown. "I didn't ask for this. I was fine. I was touring and famous and making so much fucking money." He huffed out a helpless laugh before he raked his fingers through his hair. "But it was lonely and now I know why. But we're already down one man and any one of us might fucking be next. Why the fuck would I want to stick around for that? Why should any of us?"

You considered your brother for a few moments before you spoke. "You could leave," you conceded with a nod. "But you'd never forgive yourself if you weren't here and something went horribly wrong. Besides, if we don't defeat Pennywise this time, then we're all dead."

"Gee, you really know how to console a guy. I can't even imagine why you're still single," Richie muttered before wincing when you reached out to shove him.

"Fuck off," you grumbled. Your eyes met his and it wasn't long before you were both laughing, falling back into the familiar comradery you had enjoyed all those years ago.

"Fuck," Richie sighed before he threw an arm around your shoulders. "You know what your token is yet?"

"Don't laugh," you warned as you bumped into him. You knew exactly what your token would be and while it would hurt to depart with it, you knew that if it meant getting rid of Pennywise, then you would sacrifice just about anything to ensure the safety of the others. You wouldn't lose anyone else. Not after you had already lost Stan.

You reached into the pocket of your jacket and pulled free the red bit of sponge you usually kept there before placing it on your nose.

"Holy shit," Richie got out on an incredulous laugh. "You still have that? Why the fuck are you just carrying it around like that?"

You felt a grin tug at your lips before you pulled off the clown nose Richie had gifted to you during the summer of '89. "It might have been the worst gift idea ever, but it meant a lot to me."

You weren't even sure why you were stumbling around the woods near the barrens all by yourself. If anything had become clear since Pennywise appeared in your life, it was that you really shouldn't go anywhere alone.

You were just so tired of being afraid all the time. Now, with the group split up, you had begun to worry that the search for Georgie had fallen by the wayside. You knew, deep down, that Bill's little brother was probably dead, but you didn't want to give up until Bill gave up.

So, when you couldn't stand to be inside your house any longer and Richie had ignored your request for his company, you decided to take matters into your own hands. You didn't even really think you would be able to find Georgie, but you couldn't help but hold out a tiny bit of hope that you would still find the kid lost out in the woods.

You weren't really looking where you were going when you stumbled over a root that had twisted up out of the ground. You flung an arm out, barely catching yourself on the trunk of the tree next to you, before you kicked uselessly at the root.

When you glanced up, you noticed you were no longer alone.

"Oh, poor little Y/N, all alone in the woods," Pennywise crooned with a malevolent grin that sent a chill down your spine. "No one wanted to play with you, Y/N?"

"Fuck off," you struggled to say as you willed yourself to move. Your feet stayed planted, though. You wanted to turn and run away, but your body wouldn't let you. You were frozen with fear.

"I'll play with you, Y/N," Pennywise promised as he took one step closer to you. "You'll never be alone as long as your old pal Pennywise is around."

All you could think about was Georgie and Betty Ripsom and Eddie Corcoran. Was this the last face they saw before meeting a cruel fate? Did they all fall into their gruesome demise just after seeing that wide, menacing grin and those glowing, yellow eyes?

"Time to float," Pennywise said in a deep, guttural voice that seemed to be the catalyst for your feet to finally unstick themselves from the forest floor.

You turned and made a run for it. You could hear Pennywise's laugh following you as you attempted to flee. Something sharp caught on the back of your shirt and you tripped over another root, sprawling on the ground. You hissed when your palm scraped over tree bark on the way down, but you didn't care. You scrambled to find purchase again with your feet, nearly slipping in your quest to keep running as far and as fast as you could manage.

"You'll float too," you heard Pennywise promise from just behind you. You could just imagine that he was right on your heels now, his hands always outreached and ready to grab you. "You'll all float," he continued in that same dangerous and lilting tone that never failed to freak you out.

You were so sure that Pennywise would catch up to you. You thought that you would be a goner. You were sure your body would be found chewed up and bloody or that you would never be found again. But then you saw a glimpse of the road through the trees blocking your path and you hurried towards it, feeling like your chest was going to cave in with every harsh breath you forced past your lips.

You felt relief when you finally made it out to the road. You weren't sure how you had managed to get so turned around out in the woods, but when you realized that you were even farther out than you normally cared to venture, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with fear at what almost happened to you.

You didn't allow yourself to stop running until you were home. Your palms were bleeding and while you were trying to cut across a back yard to make your trip shorter, you had managed to skin your knee when you tripped over a kid's tricycle.

You were exhausted and bleeding and terrified as you finally crashed through the front door of your house. Your parents weren't home, which wasn't much of a surprise, but Richie was sitting on the couch in the living room.

"What the fuck happened to you?" He asked as he jumped up from the couch and moved towards you.

You flinched away from him before waving him off and heading for the hallway. "Stupid fuckin' clown," you muttered as you stormed into your room. You grabbed a clean t-shirt and shorts, ignoring Richie calling your name as you locked yourself in the bathroom.

You were barely aware of the fact that your hands were shaking as you moved to stand in front of the bathroom mirror. All you could see when you closed your eyes was Pennywise and his stupid grin and those fingers that could just as easily turn into claws. You met your eyes in your reflection and forced yourself to take deep breaths.

You couldn't be scared, you told yourself, because then Pennywise would have won.

When you finally got yourself to calm down, you stepped into the shower, intent on getting clean and trying to erase every trace of dirt and blood off of you. It felt like if you could just wash it all away, then you could make yourself forget about what happened in the woods. Even though you knew, deep down, that it wasn’t as simple as that.

By the time you made it back to your room, you had cleaned and bandaged the worst of the cuts you suffered. Now, all you wanted to do was lie down and sleep away the exhaustion you felt.

Your plans were derailed when you got to your bedroom to see Richie sitting on the edge of your bed and waiting for you.

"I'm not in the mood," you growled as you brushed past him.

"Hey, come on," Richie coaxed as he reached out to grab your arm. "What the fuck is going on?"

You bit your lip, feeling tears begin to well in your eyes, before you managed to finally look at Richie. "I saw Pennywise," you admitted with a grimace. "He chased me out near the barrens."

"Fuck," Richie hissed before he tugged you down to sit next to him. "But you're okay?"

"For the most part," you told him before you showed him the scrapes on your palm. "He just scared me more than anything."

Richie frowned down at your hand before he glanced back up at you. "We've got to kill that stupid clown," he muttered with a sigh. "Before it gets one of us for good."

You knew without him having to say anything that he was thinking of the way that Eddie had broken his arm at Neibolt. He was thinking of his own one-on-one encounter with Pennywise and the Paul Bunyan statue that had suddenly come to life and terrorized him not long ago. You remembered the way Richie's hands wouldn't stop shaking and the way he kept looking over his shoulder, as if he thought Pennywise or the statue would come back to finish the job.

"He'll be okay," you found yourself telling Richie. "We all will," you quickly amended when you noticed Richie's face grow pale as he looked up at you with wide eyes.

Richie scoffed before he reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled something out. "I got you a present," he told you before he turned away and placed something on his nose. When he turned back around, you saw an imitation red clown nose fixed onto his. "What do you say, Y/N? Do I look the part?" He asked as he batted his eyelashes at you.

You couldn't help but snort at your ridiculous brother. "Really? Why the hell would you buy that with everything going on? I thought you hated clowns."

Richie shrugged his shoulders before he pulled the fake clown nose off. "I thought it was funny at the time. Wanted to see if you'd get a kick out of it. I thought it might make you laugh." He reached out and placed the red spongey ball on your nose, a pleased smirk on his face. "And I do really fucking hate clowns, but you're my sister, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I'll even kick Bill's ass if he breaks your heart."

"So, what? Am I supposed to kick Eddie's?"

You noticed Richie wince before he ducked his head. He looked so uncertain in that moment that you couldn't help but feel guilty for making him think that he had to be that way around you. That he thought he had to hide who he really was around you.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he mumbled before he started picking at a loose thread on your comforter.

"Richie," you whispered before reaching out to wrap your fingers around his wrist. "I know." It didn't take much for you to figure it out. After one night when you were both bored and had decided to play truth or dare, Richie had admitted to having a crush on a friend. It wasn't long before you connected the dots and saw the bigger picture. "I know," you repeated with what you hoped was a reassuring tone.

Richie was silent for a few worrying moments before he finally met your eyes. "Do you hate me?"

"Never," you immediately told him. "You're my brother. My twin. We're in this together, right?"

Richie watched you for a moment, as if he thought you were trying to pull one over on him, before a smile slowly stretched across his face. "Right," he agreed with a nod. He reached out and squeezed the clown nose still resting atop yours. "Guess we're both just a couple of clowns, huh?"

"God, I still can't believe you have that piece of shit," Richie mused as he reached out to take it from you. "It held up really well. I guess the fifteen cents was worth it."

You rolled your eyes before taking it back from him. "Do you know what you're looking for?" You asked him as you started trailing after the others.

Richie frowned before you noticed a distant look in his eyes. "Yeah," he muttered with a displeased look on his face. "I've got a good idea about where I need to go."

It wasn't long before everyone went off in search of their tokens. You managed to stall Mike, needing to have a few words with him before he left to go to the library.

"What the fuck, Mike?" You hissed when you had him alone. "All these years and you never once mentioned the ritual or tokens or anything."

"Look, Y/N, I'm sorry," Mike started, reaching out to put a hand on your shoulder. "I was worried. There are things that have to come together in order for this to work and I didn't want you to leave me if you knew what it required."

You studied Mike carefully for a moment, knowing that there was something he was hiding. "What else aren't you telling me? What have you left out?"

Mike sighed before he glanced away from you. "We just have to do this ritual and then Pennywise will be gone forever. Then we'll be free, Y/N," he said as he met your gaze again. "No more waiting and no more Derry. We can leave and no one else has to die because of It. Not in twenty-seven years or ever again."

You had so many questions you wanted to ask him. Why did he trust Bill over you? Why was this ritual your only hope? Was it dangerous? Would it kill any of you? If you had to sacrifice a piece of your past, then would you have to sacrifice anything else?

None of those questions ended up making it out of your mouth, though. "I guess that's something worth fighting for," you admitted with a sigh.

"It is," he readily agreed before he offered you a tentative smile, as if silently asking if you forgave him for keeping the ritual from you. "Are you coming with me to the library?"

"No," you answered. "Knowing my brother, he might try to bolt again. I'll wait for him at the Townhouse."

"Good idea," Mike conceded with a helpless laugh before he nodded at you. "See you later, Y/N."

You decided to take the more scenic route through town on the walk back to the Townhouse. You weren't really all that eager to get back and deal with everything you didn't really want to face, so you figured you were owed at least a few minutes to yourself.

You didn't really count on literally running right into Ben just outside the high school.

"Fuck," you blurted as you bumped into someone and then struggled to regain your footing.

"Shit. I'm so sorry," you heard someone say as hands wrapped around your waist to steady you.

You glanced up to see Ben standing close to you, a sheepish smile on his face. "I guess I wasn't looking where I was going," you admitted with a grimace. "Sorry about that."

"It's fine," Ben quickly assured you. “I wasn’t really looking either.”

It took you a moment to realize that you were still standing on the sidewalk, remarkably close to Ben, with his hands on your waist. You could feel the heat of his palms through the fabric of your shirt and couldn't help the blush that stained your cheeks. When you glanced up at Ben, you noticed he was blushing too once he finally realized he was still holding onto you.

"Oh, uh, sorry," Ben got out as he took a few faltering steps away from you.

"It's okay," you told him with what you hoped was an easy smile. You didn't want to admit that you had forgotten for one moment why you were so scared and ill with worry. You didn't want to admit that maybe your childhood crush on Bill had been traded for something that felt a bit more real with Ben. "Are you okay?" You made yourself ask in an attempt to change the course of the conversation. "You seemed to be in a rush," you pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, yeah," Ben said with a nod. "I was just doing what Mike wanted us to do," he added with a wince. "It didn't exactly bring up the greatest memory."

"Want to talk about it?" You couldn't help but offer, remembering the days when you and Ben would both bond over your hopeless crushes on other members of the Losers' Club. You remembered the way he pined for Beverly, hoping that she would one day return the affection he felt for her. Unfortunately, your crush and Ben's crush seemed to have a crush on each other. You had spent many moments during your childhood assuring Ben that he deserved the love and attention he so desperately sought from Beverly.

"Not right now. What about you? Did you find what you needed?"

"Oh, yeah. I already had it on me," you confessed with a relieved laugh. "Something had to be easy for once, right?"

"Right," Ben agreed with a grin. "You heading back to the Townhouse?" He asked with a nod down the sidewalk, silently prompting you to start walking in the direction of the inn.

"Yeah. I don't trust that Richie won't still make a run for it, so I'm willing to go so far as slashing his tires if that's the case."

Ben let out a surprised laugh before he bumped his arm companionably into yours as you walked. "I bet you missed him, huh? God, I can't even imagine. You and Mike sacrificed so many years of your lives just to make sure we didn't forget to come back."

"I did miss him, yeah, but I missed all of you. You all became my family that summer. But it wasn't so bad, because I had Mike. He kept me here every time I thought I might want to run as far and as fast as I could to get away from this place."

"It couldn't have been easy," Ben said as you drew to a stop just outside the Townhouse. "I know the others might not say it, but thanks."

"For what?" You couldn't help but wonder.

"For staying. If we do this, kill It, then we won't all die horrible deaths later on. We have you and Mike to thank for that."

"We still got Stanley killed," you couldn't help but point out. "If Mike had never called him, then maybe he would still be alive."

"Mike said it only works if we're all together," Ben argued with a shake of his head. "I'd give anything to have Stan here with us, but what happened to him is not your fault and it's not Mike's. You couldn’t have known."

You weren't really sure how to respond. The guilt that still sat heavily on your shoulders had you convinced that it very much was your fault. You gestured towards the Townhouse with a wry grin. "Want to go see who else has made it back?"

"Sure," Ben agreed, allowing you to dodge the subject.

When you got inside, it was to see that Beverly was the only one to have returned. You caught the brief look of longing on Ben's face when he saw her and decided to give him a break. You pretended like you had to check on something upstairs and retreated to an empty room as you tried to ignore the brief flare of jealousy you felt at seeing Ben look at Beverly like that. You told yourself that you had to stop having crushes on other Losers as you set about remaking the bed in an attempt to keep busy.

You weren't really sure how long you were supposed to stay upstairs, but when you heard a door slam down the hall, you left the room to make sure everything was okay. You found Ben rushing up towards the second floor, a determined look on his face.

"What's going on?"

"Richie," Ben explained as he nodded towards the closed door of Richie's room.

"Shit," you hissed before you moved over towards Richie's room. You knocked on the door before opening it and barging into the room.

"For fuck's sake, Y/N," Richie groaned as he continued to hastily pack his bag. "I could have been naked."

"You can't leave, Richie," you insisted as you took a step closer to him. "I know it's what you want to do, but you have to stay."

"I don't have to fucking do anything," he argued as he kept packing. "I'm getting the fuck out of here and if you were smart, you'd come with me."

"You can't just leave us, Richie," Ben cut in, his brows furrowed. "We need you. Y/N needs you," Ben tried with a grimace, as if he knew he was playing dirty and couldn't really help it.

Richie shot Ben a glare over his shoulder before his eyes landed on you. He considered you for a moment before he rolled his eyes. "Fuck. Fine." He took a deep breath before he scowled down at his half-packed bag. "Could you two leave? I just need a moment."

You narrowed your eyes at Richie, sure that he was still intent on leaving, but you felt Ben tug on your arm. "We'll be right downstairs if you need us," he promised with a nod of his head.

You let Ben lead you out of the room and towards the staircase. "I'm still not convinced he's staying," you muttered to him.

"We've done what we can for now," Ben reasoned as he took the first few steps down towards the first floor.

You almost bumped into him when he suddenly froze on the stairs, his breath hitching in surprise. When you chanced a glance over his shoulder, you were shocked to see Bill and Beverly kissing.

You expected to feel a little jealous that your childhood crush was obviously still not into you, but you realized you didn't feel much of anything except for concern for Ben. You reached down and grabbed his hand, pulling him back up the stairs and into the empty room you had escaped to earlier.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," you told Ben with a grimace.

"It's okay," Ben sighed as he dropped down onto the edge of the bed. "I should have seen it coming."

"I'm sure it didn't mean anything," you tried to console him as you sat down next to him.

Ben let out a tiny, rueful laugh and shook his head. "You know, I always knew it was a lost cause, but I never wanted to let myself see it. I guess I look pretty foolish, huh?"

"No," you told him with a firm shake of your head. "You never have."

Ben's lips quirked up in a self-deprecating grin before his shoulders slumped in what looked a lot like defeat. "The more time I spend here, the more I'm starting to realize that I need to let things go. Not just my childhood fears, but maybe my childhood crush as well. Maybe it’s been holding me back all this time."

You winced at the thought of Bill kissing Beverly and how that would have absolutely devastated you when you were younger. "Yeah, I'm starting to come to that realization for myself as well."

Ben glanced to you, confusion clear in his expression, before he seemed to recall your crush on Bill. "Shit, Y/N, I'm sorry. I guess we're both in the same boat."

"A little," you agreed with a laugh. "But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I've left those feelings in the past. Maybe there was a tiny glimmer of hope when Bill mentioned he was fresh from a divorce, but it was never going to be me. And I'm okay with that. Really," you assured Ben when he shot you a dubious look. “I’m more worried about you right now than myself,” you admitted as you reached out to pat him on the shoulder.

"You were always there for me, you know," he said with a small, sincere smile on his face. “I remember that now. Remember when I was so upset when Beverly left town? You came to my house and we danced to New Kids until we wanted to puke.” His smile turned fond as he seemed to be thinking about all of the time you spent together as kids.

You felt a little thrill when you realized he was feeling fond because of you. It was followed swiftly with the sinking feeling in your gut at the acknowledgement that Ben still had feelings for Beverly. It seemed like you were destined to always chase the members of the Losers' Club who had crushes on Beverly.

"Even when I wasn't always there for you," he continued with a frown. "I don't think I would have made it through that summer without you to help get me through it."

"You would have been fine," you reassured him with a careful grin as you bumped your shoulder into his. "You're Ben Handsome. You can do anything."

He gifted you with another smile, but you weren't quite sure what this one meant. It was one you weren't used to seeing directed at you and before you could try to figure it out, you were startled by the sound of Eddie yelling and Beverly screaming.

You jumped up from the bed and rushed from the room to see Eddie fall to his knees just outside his room. He was bleeding from a gash in his cheek, a look of shock on his face when he looked at you and Ben. "Bowers is in my room," he said before he managed to practically collapse down onto the floor.

Beverly was already kneeling in front of him, taking stock of his wound, while Ben quickly brushed past you and into Eddie's room.

"Is it bad?" You heard Eddie ask as you followed after Ben, not wanting him to face Henry Bowers alone, especially if Henry was armed.

You couldn't believe that with everything else going on, you had managed to forget about the childhood bully who had been locked up for the past twenty-seven years. You remembered the whispers around town after it was discovered that Henry had killed his father. He had babbled on and on about a clown and red balloons and you knew that Pennywise was partly to blame. You couldn't help but wonder if Pennywise had freed Henry Bowers from the institution as another way of messing with the Losers' Club. After all, Pennywise and Henry did seem to have a common enemy.

"He's gone," Ben told you when he realized you had followed him. "Must've jumped out the window."

"Fuck," you groaned, knowing that Henry was likely going to go after someone else now. None of you were really safe as long as he was wandering around town and armed. "We've got to help Eddie and then we should get to the library. I don’t think that’s the last we’ve seen of Henry."

When you got back out into the hallway, it was to see Beverly trying to help Eddie stand.

"Sorry about the blood, Y/N," Eddie said as he let Beverly lead him back into his room. "That's going to be a bitch to get out."

"It's fine, Eds," you assured him before you moved to leave the room. "I'll be right back," you called before you quickly hurried downstairs in search of a first aid kit.

It wasn't until after Ben had done his best to patch Eddie up that you realized there was something wrong. Someone was missing from the group.

"Where's Bill?" You asked with a frown as you glanced to Beverly. "I thought he was here."

"He left," she admitted with a wince. "He thinks that kid from the restaurant is in trouble. The one who knew your brother? He left before I could stop him."

When Beverly mentioned your brother, you realized what else was wrong.

"Oh shit," you groaned. "Where the fuck is Richie?"

#it: chapter two #it 2019 #ben hanscom #richie tozier #ben hanscom x reader #reader & richie tozier #richie tozier x eddie kaspbrak #reader insert #it #it imagine #the losers club #the losers x reader #canon divergence #reader

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