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she-who-fights-and-writes · 5 months

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how do i get my character out of the corner i wrote myself in without a dues ex machina😭

How to Not Write Yourself Into a Corner (and How to Write Yourself Out of a Corner if You’re Already In One)

One of a writer’s WORST fears is writing themself into a corner.

It’s easy to write your characters into death-defying situations…but it’s not as easy to write the actual “defying death” part.

Some writers, in their desperation to get their characters out of a bind, employ the use of a Deus Ex Machina, as mentioned by anon:

Deus Ex Machina: (Translates to "god from the machine") A plot device where a seemingly unsolvable situation is fixed by an out-of-the-blue occurrence. The term “deus ex machina” is a reference to Greek plays, when actors playing a god would literally be lowered into the scene via a machine to magically solve any situation.

Unfortunately, this plot device is often ridiculed by readers, cited as a hack-job solution for a writer out of ideas.

How do we avoid this situation, then? Here are some tips and tricks on how to not write yourself into a corner, and how to write yourself out of a corner if you’re already in one!

Note that these tips may not work for everyone, so make sure to use your own intuition as a writer— you know your story best.

1. NIP IT IN THE BUD— OUTLINES ARE KEY!

I’m sorry to all of you pantsers out there, but the key to prevent writing yourself into a corner is to already have an idea of how each scene is going to turn out; don't make a problem without making a solution! If you keep on top of your outline, you should have no worries about writing your characters into a situation they can't get out of it.

It may be easiest to jot down ideas about a couple of scenarios and then select the one that works best, especially when it comes to dire climax scenes that have a lot of moving parts.

Check out my posts below for more in-depth advice about outlining!

How to Outline

Plotting for Pansters and Pantsing for Plotters

This advice, although essential, does require a ton of foresight and time to plan…and if you’ve sought out this post, it may mean that it’s too late for preventative measures. The subsequent tips in this post are going to be for people who are already in the thick of it and need a way to save all of their writing progress.

2. FORESHADOWING IS YOUR FRIEND (AKA “CHEKHOV’S GUN YOUR WAY OUT OF THAT SHIT”)

Foreshadowing: A narrative device wherein a writer gives an advance hint of what is to come later in the story. It helps maintain believability while subverting expectations and making plot twists.

Chekhov’s Gun: A narrative device wherein a seemingly insignificant element or object in the story becomes useful later on. Sometimes used synonymously with foreshadowing, but usually refers to a specific object.

Examples of Foreshadowing/Chekhov’s guns in media:

The 1981 Quarter (Or Extra Life Quarter) in Ready Player One

“Don’t Cross the Streams” in Ghostbusters (1984)

Winchester Rifle Hanging over the Bar in Shaun of the Dead (2004)

The Rita Hayworth Poster in The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

The Water Bottle in Bullet Train (2022)

In my opinion, a Chekhov’s Gun is the more refined twin of the deus ex machina; although it may seem like it comes out of nowhere, observant readers or those who go back into the story will realize that this event was set up from the beginning.

Foreshadowing is the key to turning a deus ex machina into a Chekhov’s Gun. It’s spreading breadcrumbs to maintain believability even when unbelievable things happen.

My advice: plant a line here and there referring to the object/element that will get you out of the corner.

These lines can be about a healing potion that a character carries around to save them when they’re at the brink of death, the fact that the city they’re fighting in often suffers from sinkholes, or that a character has a seemingly useless skill.

However, haphazardly inserting foreshadowing into your story may come across as heavy-handed; make sure it aligns with the narrative beats. Particularly big Chekhov’s Guns, especially ones that “save the day," may require multiple foreshadowing elements.

It can take a lot of work to incorporate the foreshadowing smoothly, so make sure it actually saves you time in comparison to rewriting the whole scenario/plot point.

3. TAKE A BREAK

Sometimes, the solution to your problem may not come to mind because you’re too immersed into the writing process and not thinking of the bigger picture. Or maybe it might just be good old-fashioned writer’s block. Take a step back, reassess, and return with the scene properly re-evaluated. Maybe start a new book or TV show to get some inspiration, or check out one of my posts below!

How to Overcome Writer’s Block

How to Get Inspired to Write and Regain Creativity

4. ASK FOR HELP

Sometimes, it might be best to have another set of eyes on your story! A situation that may seem unsolvable to you may have an obvious solution to a writing buddy.

5. KNOW THAT SOMETIMES RE-WRITING IS NECESSARY

I know this sounds horrible. It’s something that I wouldn’t wish upon any writer.

Sometimes, however, no amount of foreshadowing can get your characters out of the debacle they’ve put themselves in. Either that, or the work that it would take to insert the foreshadowing would be more than it’d take to rewrite the scene or the plot point.

My suggestion would be to search for the last place that you didn't feel lost, and then cut out everything after that.

(NEVER DELETE MAJOR CHUNKS OF YOUR WRITING! ALWAYS CUT IT AND SAVE IT IN A SCRAP DOC—IT COULD COME IN HANDY LATER!)

Then, take the time to outline the scenario and figure out the solution to your problem beforehand. It will suck, but trust me, it'll be worth it in the end.

HOPE THIS HELPED, AND HAPPY WRITING!

#writing #writing tips #writing advice #writing help #writeblr #writing prompts #writing tools #booklr #creative writing #writers

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unorthodox-soundwave · 2 years

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Things that have happened recently that would be considered foreshadowing something bad happening to me if I was a media character;

Couldn’t stay asleep for more than a couple hours at a time

Had a random coughing fit (because I breathed the wrong way or something)

Headache that lasted only 10 minutes or so

Phone randomly shut off while I was using it

Tripped over my own feet several times (like a fool)

Stomach growled

#it really is funny to me how so many everyday things #are percieved as Very Significant and Dire in books and stuff #writing #shitpost #foreshadowing #can’t wait for something bad to happen to me 😌

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fredbydawn · 19 days

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am thinking of the way Adam hesitates before telling Lawrence his name... like I know its meant to foreshadow the fact that he's this kinda shady liar who's concealing just how much he knows about what's going on and is probably also meant to make us wonder if that's even his real name (note how he gives no last name, hence the stanheight/faulkner-stanheight thing) cuz it almost sounds like he's coming up with it on the spot, but I'm also thinking about how it plays into trans readings of Adam. like you could read that pause as him really assessing his situation for a moment, like Lawrence has no idea who he is, he could give him any name and Lawrence would be none the wiser if it was his "real name" or not, he's in a dire situation, he has no idea where he is or if he will ever leave that room alive, its almost like for a moment he's debating in his head "what name do I want to die as?"

#and then that also can go different ways depending on if you're reading Adam as trans masc or trans fem AAAAAAAAAA #saw gender thing #saw #saw 2004 #adam stanheight #adam faulkner stanheight

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pyschedtrickster · 26 days

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TADC Ep 2 - Depression and the Meaning of Life

Well, I may or may not be a day late to release of the episode, but I've watched it three times so far and I have some thoughts. Let's get the gritty stuff outta the way.

First of all, The Amazing Digital Circus belongs to @gooseworx and therefore everything I say here is just my personal take on the episode. I could be wrong, talking out my ass, etc. But this episode really spoke to me, so good job Goose.

Secondly, spoilers <3

Third, I think I've written enough that people won't get jumpscared with spoilers. This is gonna be a long read, so bear with me. This post will contain ALL my thoughts on the episode, both meaningful and just silly things I liked.

BUBBLE

So anyone who knows me from Bunnydoll Burrow knows I love Bubble. They're my favorite so far and this episode only cemented that further. They're wonderful comedic relief and even if they don't have any character development (which I don't think they will), I will always love them.

Caine Cares Too Much

While watching this, I was immediately off-put by Caine's reactions, even beginning with him calling Zooble back. He sounds so... dire? I don't know if that was intended to mean something or if it was just to put emphasis on how much Caine cares about his creations. Caine is AI, so world-building is likely his ONLY goal, or his prompt if you will. It wouldn't surprise me if that was why he was so upset by everyone's reactions.

But I can't help but wonder if this will play into his character arc. We understand that Caine is ambiguous right now and there's no real explanation of what his intentions are in the Circus. Something about this just really set me off. It made me feel unsafe in a way as if staying behind would result in danger of some kind. Obviously, it couldn't be that bad, as Zooble did stay behind and turned out fine. Still, I can't shake the feeling that this is foreshadowing.

Zoobie

Hilarious. What a solid nickname, I've seen so many headcanons that Zooble would be a stoner in the real world. This only makes it better. They are now Zoobie in my mind.

Pomni's Child Comment

While I'm sure this was just a silly comment to be made, I kinda liked it. Just a little in-show reminder that through all of this, Pomni is a real, grown-ass woman stuck inside some digital Hell. The whole first episode, we see her wallowing and panicking, justifiably so. Finally, we get to see her grow more serious and stable.

Through the episode, we see more of her being a good character and becoming more at terms with her situation. I'll touch on this more soon.

Gangle

My girl CANNOT catch a break. Gangle is such a funny character and so, so sweet. She's level-headed in my opinion, even through her emotions. She seems to have a good grip on the shit happening around her but has a hard time communicating properly because she has a lot of feelings going on. Me too, honey, me too.

Even in the face of violence, danger, and overall shitfuckery, she doesn't shut down. Sure, she cries. But I've cried plenty of times while still holding the fort down. I think I just relate to her.

Lastly, I NEED to know what this means like I need oxygen.

Government Mandated Shipping

I dunno man, I just really liked this. I'm a shipper at heart. I've been writing fanfic since middle school. I saw pure fanfic material when I watched this scene.

Kinger and Raggs

This scene made me smile. It's a cute nod towards how Kinger is the longest-standing character and, according to some lost post of Goose's, Ragatha is the second. Plus, all of episodes one and two, we see her trying so hard to be a rock for Pomni. She tries to include everyone, keep everyone cheerful, and be a stable constant in a realm of chaos; Seeing Kinger recognize how far she's come and using that to bring her back to reason was just so refreshing. Ragatha deserves more appreciation like that: less about what she does for others, and more about what she's done for herself.

Jax's Disappointment

So we don't know much about Jax besides how Goose loves him and says he's an asshole who may or may not be irredeemable. When he started talking about violence and getting excited at the thought, I chalked it up to him being an ass. But it struck me just how much this mattered to Jax in this scene. I have questions, man. But I'm about to go on a wild tangent, so hear me out.

Jax is happy when being destructive. He gets immediately upset when things go well. And in the circus, we can assume that there have been a lot of traumatic, wild things that have occurred. I wonder if the chaos, the violence, is a comfort for Jax because of those traumatic experiences. As a person with trauma, I've learned that there's a funny cycle that I and other traumatized people experience.

We don't like the situations we're in, but when faced with normalcy, it's so much scarier than the damaging situation we come from. So, we run from 'normal' back into the suffocating arms of our traumatizing situations for comfort. Going back to the situation means more trauma, more trauma means a harder time finding peace in a safe, normal environment, which means more trauma... you get the picture.

So am I saying a fictional purple bunny is using violence in a digital realm to cope with the very real topic of trauma? Maybe. Yes. Yes, I am. This is how I cope.

Depression, Finding Your Place, and the Bigger Picture

Now you may be saying, "hey! You skipped over some major scenes to talk about silly stuff! What gives?"

Well, as the title of this post suggests, I had some heavier stuff to address in this episode and wanted to compile it all in one section. So that meant skipping over a scene to bunch it in with other ones. I'll break it down.

Depression

Let me begin with the fact that I have been diagnosed with depression for years now. I've been hospitalized for it and I've had family members struggle with it around me. This heavily influenced how I viewed this episode and specifically this scene.

Gummigoo had a perfectly reasonable reaction to seeing the perfect replica of him that is his model. Seeing something like that would shatter your world, and we see that happen to him immediately.

But when Gummigoo talked to Pomni and asked why anything matters, it gave me this really familiar feeling. Thoughts of being nothing, of feeling meaningless, the mere idea of being an obstacle--I've experienced all of these. I'm sure others have. Pomni was right when she said it's normal. Everyone has felt down from time to time.

But what Gummigoo is talking about really hit home with my depression. Thoughts like these, especially when they linger for long, change how you view the world. Everything is tinted blue and desaturated. You feel empty and eventually, so does the world around you. You feel like when the party is over and everyone leaves, you disappear--or you think you should, at least.

"Why are you trying to cheer me up? How does this benefit you at all?"

And it's so, so hard to accept help when feeling like this. Depression is a bitch in the way that it wants you to stay depressed. It feels like everyone around you wants you to feel better because it is a convenience for them. It almost feels transactional if you smile.

But Pomni says it so beautifully; "I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing. I don't want anybody to feel like that."

The way she says it makes me feel like she knows the feeling too, and in reality, she says she does understand in a way how Gummigoo feels. But that? That made it real for me. I don't know why. This whole scene, the entrapment and loneliness despite not actually being alone, just embodied how I've felt for years. What amazing writing.

Finding Your Place

This scene was really the cherry on top of everything I just spoke about. We see that these two understand each other, at least as much as they can. They recognize all of this, it's ridiculous. They're hurtling through space into the unknown, hoping everything works out. They may feel empty, but they're not alone. They've got each other, for better or worse. Maybe they don't know where they belong in this liminal space, but they know where they stand in each other's minds.

And then we get this ending scene. God. Fuck.

I knew that there was obviously something to that dream Pomni had in the beginning, but somehow I didn't expect this to be the conclusion to it. I guess I was too distracted by everything else. So when I got to this shot, I got all warm and teary-eyed.

Pomni finally feels like she's got a pack, a place in this digital circus. When you don't feel mentally alone anymore, there seems to be a weight that's lifted off your shoulders. It doesn't cure the sadness, but at least you know that if you need to be picked up, someone will be there. Depression wants you to be alone, but it just lost that battle. The internet has said it best: A win is a win.

The Bigger Picture

We all know where the end of the road is. How we get there is the mystery. This thought can really make a person feel small, especially when depression comes in to tell you that you in fact are small, according to the chemicals in your brain. But the power of numbers and knowing your place in the world makes facing the unknown a little easier.

I'll be honest, the words are kinda lost on me at this point. Our demise is a really hard topic to broach. I've lost a lot of people, especially some major players in my life (shoutout to the Dead Dads club), and still, I don't understand it all. But the best way I can explain it is through my own experience and how I applied it to this episode.

I had for a long time gone through life trying to prepare and prepare. I played the role of the strong, unaffected individual after being hardened by trauma in childhood. I didn't want to be outwardly emotional, because if I was I would have to admit defeat.

It made me feel weak, especially when my depression would whisper nasty things to me about my self-worth. The bigger picture at that time didn't even exist in my mind. I lived to serve and die. It was no way to live.

Only recently, with time, a couple grippy sock vacays and therapy have I started to form my own, new big picture. At the center of this is my interactions with others. Family, friends, and strangers, all of them are affected by my actions. Even during the days when I feel worthless or alone, I remind myself that even the little things I do have a spiderweb effect. I have worth, more so than serving others or being some obstacle. I can simply walk down the street and perhaps I'll be the person who some kid looks at and hopes to look like when they're older. My existence is so much more than just a give-and-take situation with everyone around me.

It felt like Pomni found her purpose in the circus, and it was more than just playing along until the end. Rather, it was to befriend the people around her who have proved in one way or another way that they care. Abstraction wasn't in vain to them. Lives mattered, and therefore so did Pomni.

In a vast, digital world where chaos looms like a grey cloud, Pomni always mattered. She just had to realize how, and it was much more than being an obstacle or a pawn. And so do we, I think.

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc ragatha #tadc jax #tadc kaufmo #tadc gangle #tadc pomni #tadc fandom #tadc zooble #tadc kinger #tadc bubble #tadc caine #tadc episode 2 #digital circus #tadc ep 2 #episode 2 #new episode #gummigoo #tadc gummigoo

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archonsabyss · 2 days

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╰─..✶. [ In Another life ]

❒ pairing: geto suguru x fem!reader

❒ genre: angst! friends to lovers! [unconfessed love]

❒ warnings: dark / sensitive content! hinted abuse [physical and emotional]! minor gore! indirect mentions of suicide! writing consists of emotional / mental health topics! anxiety! depression! insecurities! S2 timeline compliant! foreshadowing

❒ wc: 4.4k

─❒ authors note: how my heart ached and broke while writing this🩶 I would give my life for this man. anything to have him and to hold him. it was meant to be a full series but I lost inspiration

Countless nights you found yourself contemplating whether an eternal slumber might hold the key to solving your troubles.

The thought came regularly when darkness descended and you lay there immersed in the recesses of your thoughts when memories of a rare peaceful night surfaced and sleep was able to cradle your mind into a realm of indifference, numbing your senses until you felt nothing at all, and you questioned whether this eternal slumber could truly endure.

During the toughest bouts of anxiety and frequent episodes of depression, when every breath you took turned each moment of existence into a state of expectation and anticipation, sleep did not come easy. It was either a lack of time or out of fear of the silent stillness it took for your mind to eventually drift into the depths of oblivion. Torturous and frightful it was.

Sleep was dire but not when the screeching thoughts that gripped your vulnerability made the silence before it unbearable, and with each passing day, the toll of those restless nights became increasingly harsh on your body until you reached a point of exhaustion so profound that not even your inner demons could keep you awake.

The life you once knew had become increasingly difficult as you struggled to juggle the challenges of being a teenager with the responsibilities of adulthood.

There were so many unspoken emotional and mental burdens that weighed you down, making you feel captive.

Picture the weight of bearing the burden of those who lacked the awareness and capability to shield themselves from the perils that lay just beneath their noses, and then see a child compelled to stand helpless as a boulder crashed down upon them. They didn't even have the opportunity to lift their arms to attempt a futile struggle against the inevitable.

You questioned the world what fate instilled for you?

A child to grow up and protect a world simply out of the goodness of her heart, to face the ridicule and unjust, endure the disrespect and cruelty and strive to be a better person?

To stake not only your own physical, mental, and emotional well-being but also the safety, happiness and very life force of your loved ones to fight for a path they preached was right all your life?

Crafting your perception during a time of youthful vulnerability and inexperience, ensuring that you would come of age perceiving it as the standard.

The days when you lay weakened on the gritty earth, your torn clothing and exhaustion reaching its zenith. Their words echoed relentlessly in your mind as you gazed into the distance, your head gently tapping against the pain-streaked window.

"This is the essence of your existence, you insolent brat" The elder admonished with a tone of exasperation.

"This life, with all its complexities and burdens, is your destined path. Your innate abilities shall safeguard both the realms of sorcery and the ordinary, and we pledge to resurrect you if necessary, even at the cost of your last breath. Such is your significance, yet you wear ingratitude like a cloak"

Those words morphed into a guiding principle. For the adults held a deeper understanding of the world, you believed, and so you trusted their wisdom unconditionally even if it meant enduring the searing pain in your hands until they bled dry.

Your determination drove you to heed their warnings and fulfil the expected roles, all in pursuit of recognition and validation that you so desperately sought from those people in positions of authority, regardless of whether it was right, wrong or injustice.

Your young mind was but a tangled web of confusion, making it nearly impossible to discern the right course of action, assuming there even was one.

If you could not identify what was wrong, how could you possibly distinguish what was right? Such teachings were foreign to you. You were raised to obey and follow orders, fed untruths when you were in need, and you naively consumed them without understanding the truth.

They were like parasitic leeches, siphoning your strength and vitality. But then, as fate would have it, everything took a profound shift when the threads of your destiny wove together with two improbable, and unforeseen forces of nature.

Through this convergence, barriers were shattered, secrets revealed, and limitations cast aside.

Faced with a new perspective that disturbed your composure and norm. Confronting and grasping an understanding of a foreign yet familiar reality that exceeded the horror and deception of the devil's teachings, discovering that life extended beyond mere obligations and self-sacrifice, transcending blood and power.

They were two boys, akin to yourself in age who embodied the exquisite equilibrium of yin and yang. A living testament to the harmonious interplay of opposites. Gojo Satoru, and Geto Suguru. It wasn't only evident in their strikingly handsome visages and contrasting hair alone, but it delved deeper, seeping into the very core of their beings, where their personalities and attributes painted a vivid portrait of duality.

A white-haired charismatic force of nature, a magnetic anomaly with a devil-may-care attitude whose sharp wit and playful banter set him apart from the rest, and his best friend, a living embodiment of intricacy, fascination, and curiosity that reflected in his deep, coal-like eyes.

His personality was layered in complexity; combining sharpness with moral ambiguity. He had an aura that exuded ambition, and carried an equal measure of self-assuredness as his white-haired counterpart, yet within the more reserved kindness he showed, there lurked a still, undisturbed darkness. Whereas Satoru approached life with a carefree attitude, a character who could inspire both disdain and attraction in equal measure, you could personally attest to this dichotomy, Suguru approached life more methodically.

Satoru was the first person who illuminated the pleasures of existence for you, imparting lessons on resilience and the art of verbal combat─ in other words, Satoru had mentored your naive tongue into adapting his foul mouth of snarky remarks and wit or at least, he tried, but you couldn't quite as easily grasp the confidence to spout nonsense let alone convey your direct thoughts when trauma held a knife to your throat. But that never stopped him from persistently lingering with his efforts. And while there were moments when his personality was deemed intolerable, you wouldn't trade him for anything, not even if eternal misery were the price.

After all, you came to know that his excessive, overbearing personality was his way of showing he cared.

"You're still awake" Murmured a tender voice, as gentle as a caress, carrying a warmth and affection that had only blossomed since he entered your confinement, tore off your shackles, and pulled you from the cage of control.

You tore your gaze from the mesmerizing scenery and shifted your attention to the source of the voice. Your eyes followed the contours of his legs and traced up his expansive chest until they finally met the face that had become your sanctuary.

"Couldn't sleep"

"Mind company?" He asks, but there's no need when he is a presence that will always be welcomed. Yet you nod your head and smile softly before resuming your watch of the city.

Suguru moves forward, taking one step after the other until his shoulder and head rest against the wall, crossing his arms and legs as he looks at you attentively.

"It's been some time since it was just the two of us on a mission together," Suguru initiates a conversation, and your attention shifts toward him.

"Satoru lingers," He adds, prompting a genuine smile to grace your lips, a faint spark of life illuminating your eyes in stark contrast to the previously sombre expression you wore just moments ago.

"He's not that bad" You defend with little effort and it has him rolling his eyes.

"No, he is that bad"

"You're only saying that because you don't want to admit you actually miss him" Suguru scoffs at your teasing, and as much as he wants to wipe that pretty little grin off your mouth, he's too content with seeing it to do otherwise.

"And your denial stems from the fear of acknowledging that you actually enjoy the silence of not having Satoru talk your ear off"

"That's not true!"

"Could have fooled me, little one" He teases with a cheeky grin. You find comfort in the warmth of his smile, which emboldens you to finally pose the question that has been lingering in your mind since the beginning of this mission two days ago. Deep down, Suguru disliked the fact that you felt compelled to ask permission to be honest and share your thoughts, especially when he expects nothing less from you.

As you breathe in and out unsteadily, you're locking eyes with Suguru's weary gaze and you ask, driven by the recollection of the guilt that still burdens you now, "When you and Satoru confronted the higher-ups to oppose my execution, did either of you consider the potential consequences of going against them?"

Instantaneously, without a hint of hesitation or contemplation, Suguru cracked a sly smile. A bewitching spectacle, if you must admit. A nearly captivating, and nearly diverting your attention from the incredulous reply that leaves his mouth.

"It did cross my mind for a second... But you know how Satoru is. When he makes up his mind I simply follow"

"What about the consequences?"

"We'd deal with it when the time came"

The nonchalant manner in which he admitted it left your mind in a whirlwind. You never anticipated anything less from them, but at that particular time, your gratitude and the human instinct to fear death may have eclipsed your concern for the lives of two strangers. Rationality abandoned you, for who could maintain a composed mindset while facing imminent death, with every breath hanging on the precipice of uncertainty? Yet, reflecting on how far you've come and the relationship you've built with them since then, you now grasp the deep significance of what transpired a year ago—their selfless sacrifice made without a second thought. Maybe it was their confidence in their abilities, their growing power, that gave them the courage to believe they stood a fighting chance or maybe the duo simply understood, without needing to voice it, that they saw no reality but that of which they emerged triumphed.

Still unable to comprehend such confident negligence at the hands of two boys barely in their teens, your disbelief is made quite evident as you fidget in your seat and peer up at him with slightly parted lips. "Simple as that?"

"Simple as that" He confirmed it once again, shrugging, as though there were nothing further to add. "Although, Satoru should've taken a moment to consider your welfare before barging into your room. It was probably not the best way to play hero"

"It was rather─ unexpected" You muttered, vividly remembering your first encounter with Satoru and how enthusiastically he crashed through your doors.

His grin was as carefree and confident as a child's as he proudly proclaimed himself your saviour and gallant champion, tossing you a jacket and swiftly ushering you out the door before your emotions had a chance to catch up.

"I tried to attack him but.."

"But his infinity" You nod when Suguru finishes your sentence for you.

"I knew then who he was. Though I can't remember the reason clearly, I feel that may have been why my defences lowered and I gave up trying to fight. Or maybe I gave up thinking I'd live. I figured death by someone like him was better than a curse or even the higher-ups ridding me of my hands and wringing me by the neck"

"We're all undeniably just a bunch of impulsive and immature kids alive solely due to a stroke of misfortune." Suguru pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger, reminiscent of the same headache he experienced that night when recklessness took control. Anger bubbles but he suppresses it well,

"It's laughable how ignorant and uncertain we are of our choices. I highly doubt Satoru ever contemplates his decisions to a necessary extent before he acts"

"You can't know that, Suguru"

"But I do know that" He chuckled and you shake your head.

"As you've said─" You gave him a pointed look before continuing, "We're merely children. Though our lives have put us in situations where we haven't been treated as such, you can't change what is up here─" You tapped the side of your head in reference to the maturity of a young persons brain.

"And here" You motioned to the area of where a youthful heart beats behind an enclosed cage.

"We have to give ourselves some credit and show a bit of self-compassion. We're just trying to survive..." Your hand extended to meet his while he, despite the stormy rage in his eyes and the restrained intensity in his voice, accepted the gesture, laying his much larger hand over yours.

Little by little, the the anger clouding his judgement dissipated.

Within the abyss of his thoughts, where unspoken words dwell and dark truths go unnoticed by your care, love, and reassurance, Suguru conceals a revelation: he views that night when he saved you as a feeble endeavour, a mere mortal's audacious attempt to impersonate the divine alongside Satoru.

His other hand trailed up your face and swiped over the bags under your eyes. "All I can see is the exhaustion in your eyes as it grows."

It warms your fleeting heart that he notices; that his concern runs so deep it causes him guilt and distress.

"We gave you hope" His voice cracks.

"You gave me a choice" Your eyes soften as they meet his, reading the thoughts he's too afraid to share. "You and Satoru gave me a choice and it was more than I could ever ask for"

Silence draws from you.

Suguru admits to seeing you slowly become a shell of the woman you never even had the opportunity to become. But he also sees the person you can still become.

Hope, he understands is a double-edged sword as it teeters on the brink of being shattered.

You represent his hope and he realizes that one day you will slip through his grasp. Either you will flourish independently of him or you will suffer because of him.

"A choice between death or slavery. There's hardly a difference"

And it hurts because it's nothing but the truth.

Pain is etched across your face as you ask, "Do you think death would have been a better option?"

Suguru exhales quietly, wearing a pained expression and evading a direct answer. "Satoru would have fought for you, even without knowing your identity, even if it resulted in a massacre

'Thoughtful and sweet' you thought, but had he purposely omitted himself from that sentence? You wondered.

"And you?"

Suguru thinks, eyes drifting to your hand that fits so perfectly in his palm.

"I would have gone wherever he led"

"Do you think death would've saved me?"

"Yes" He looks at you, "Selfishly?─ no. I would have preferred you to never suffer again, but death will never be an option for you, not while I live"

You look at him and he feels the sharp attentive eyes that you stare at him with. He neither cowers nor squirms, and you don't shy away, that's far beyond either of you when the intensity of the atmosphere grows heavily under the intricate heartfelt darkness that pours from your souls.

His confession sends the gruesome fluttering of butterflies to run a mock, their delicate wings clapping thunderously, contrasting the gentle nature of their existence.

"You won't leave me, right?"

The vulnerability is so evident in your voice it seeps into the cracks of his heart and reinforces his desire to protect you. Suguru appears on the verge of saying something, yet he restrains himself.

It's evident in his deliberate, slow blinks and the fleeting glances he casts in your direction before fixating his gaze on the ceiling.

Instead of answering you verbally he offers your entangled fingers a gentle squeeze, saying what his voice could not. His silence resonates so loudly that you're tempted to break it with a simple "what," although deep down, you know no answer would follow.

Perhaps, if your concern for him were genuine his silence shouldn't deter you, but when you understand the hesitation, the internal contemplation, and the fear that comes with the desire to connect.

You leave him be.

You're not sure how much time has passed, but at some point, Suguru settled at the far end of the window bench and gestured for you to stretch your legs over his.

You become immersed in the quietude and the cityscape. Your gaze flits between the bustling streets and the towering structures. Some of the neighbouring apartments were aglow with lights, indicating that you weren't the sole wakeful souls at this unearthly hour, and you simply observed as one room darkened only for another to illuminate. It makes you see how such a mundane act will probably be the only ounce of normalcy you'll ever get.

In your mind, it strikes you just as suddenly as the thick grey clouds enclosing the clear skies and the loud warning rumble of thunder as a storm follows on its tail.

Was normalcy something you could adapt to?

Would you go back to the day when your mind grasped an understanding of your situation and do things differently? Fight back and refute as they groomed you to become a weapon.

Would you go back to the day that led to your assumed betrayal. When you chose to see into the soul of a curse and release it?

The first and last choice you'd ever make out of your own free will. A choice that infuriatingly warranted a punishment worse than death, and instead of seeing your mistake and repenting as they so mercifully offered, you foolishly raised your head and stood your ground. And when they tried to subdue you, the pent-up anger and hurt exploded and they grew fearful of the very power they created.

Would you have reconsidered and opted to exorcise the curse, leading to a life of further confinement of those in control?

That night when your body, mind, and soul were to be sacrificed for the safety of the jujutsu world.

When Gojo Satoru wreaked havoc on your Minka, kicked down the doors and shattered every window, flashing you a cheerful smile as he looked at the remains of your home with distaste, "Come on little one, I'm kidnapping you"

In shock from the overwhelming aura that radiated off this stranger, you couldn't fight as he effortlessly dragged you away. Imagine your surprise when your attempt at a last fight led to your discovery that this brat of a white head yetti was none other than the heir of the Gojo Clan. The wielder of the six eyes and the cursed technique, Limitless.

You felt a loss of hope as you became convinced that your destiny was inevitable.

Regret was all you felt, and though unprepared for death, you could only wish that whatever followed would surpass the life you had experienced.

"We're keeping her" Satoru asserted, his sly smile persisting without ever fading. The room echoed with robust signs of dissent.

"And what makes you think you are entitled to such a decision?" Argued a man who abruptly stood from his chair with anger, deceiving himself and others around the table with the great power he claimed to have but truthfully did not.

"Me"

No one could debate no matter how hard they wanted to, they had no words. Suguru uncrossed his arms and nudged your shoulder, offering a small nod and smile in hopes of it being comforting, but your eyes and heart were dead as you stared blankly at the faces of the people who killed it.

"I'm the strongest there is but I don't see you trying to condemn me to eternal imprisonment" Satoru stated boredly. "Suguru and I will babysit her or whatever" If it were under normal circumstances, you most likely would have directed the coldest glare at him for insinuating you needed to be babysat.

"You foolish brat!" A woman stood abruptly. "She bears the blood of the innocent on her hands, and you believe her conscience is not haunted by guilt! She opted to safeguard a curse over the lives entrusted to her, she chose her own demise!"

If only they refrained from distorting your words and perceived the reality of the situation. The dreadful curse they accused you of preferring over human lives was simply an infant mutant, its heartbeat seeking reassurance as it clung to your clothes desperately. The tears streaming down its face held no significance, even when the humans they insisted on saving were reprehensible. You made a decision, regardless of origin and blood. You opted for innocence over the murderous hands of humans.

"We all bear the weight of our choices, she's different" Suguru interjected, his hands clenching at his sides, ready to step forward in opposition had Satoru not continued speaking.

"Come on, Granny, you don't mean that. Look at her," Satoru beamed, "She's ecstatic to be saved by us, right? No guilt written on that pretty face whatsoever."

All attention was on you.

You had no answer to give, no thought or leading up to a decision.

"Hold on!" Satoru suddenly exclaimed, coming to an abrupt stop as a thought crossed his mind.

"Is she─ mute?" He inquired quietly to Suguru and it was received with a firm smack to the back of his head.

"Focus you idiot."

"Yeah, yeah, got it. Where were we... So, little one, do you fancy─" The white-haired male gestured with a thumb across his neck accompanied by a whistle, alluding to the act of beheading. "Or would you rather embark on a thrilling journey as my apprentice?"

A sudden jab to his side prompted Satoru to feign a grimace, pondering why he was receiving these hits. Meanwhile, Suguru let out an exasperated huff.

"What Satoru is trying to say is that, whatever choice you make we will stand by you. But it is your choice"

"Stop hitting me" That only warrants him another shove.

They presented you with a choice despite the consequences and the circumstances. They turned away from the puppeteers controlling the strings of your life and looked at you with determined eyes that offered you the power to decide. Even in your zombie-like state, you could see it in their determined gaze— they offered you a choice whether it meant choosing your death or enduring torment among them. Neither option was ideal but at the end of the day it was yours to make, and that marked the beginning of it all. It held immense significance, enough to ignite a spark of desire to live, to revive ambition and determination to fight until those deserving of it shared in the pain you endured.

That decision marked the conclusion of the prologue to your story, finding yourself now seated beside your closest companion as the chapters continued.

"Do you ever envision your future and ponder what it might hold? Do you wonder if there's a fortune waiting for us? Perhaps amidst the chaos and tragedy we still find love and start a family?"

The unexpected question is followed by a sudden movement and you feel a gentle weight on your head.

Suguru rested a hand on your head and playfully tousled your hair with a knowing smile playing on his lips.

You pull your legs closer to your chest and lean into his touch that has drifted to your cheek.

"I don't think I'll live that long"

"But if we did? If such a future existed wouldn't you consider giving it a shot?"

Suguru avoids addressing your question with the hopes that eventually one day he'll have the courage to express his true thoughts.

To admit that the sole future he envisions involves you living and flourishing; if it comes down to it he'd dedicate his last moments and breath to you and Satoru but for now, he brushes it aside and whispers, "Come on, let's get you to bed."

You shake your head not feeling the pull of sleep but Suguru is stubborn as he sighs and offers his hand and you accept without question.

He leads you to the couch where he settles down and throws his head back with closed eyes. His long limbs stretch out in front of him as he waits for you to join him, his side all but inviting.

The familiarity of his gesture is embedded in your memory, the inviting embrace you've grown accustomed to.

You instinctively take your place and snugly fit yourself against his side until your thighs press against each other, and your head rests against his chest with his arm curling around your shoulders to keep you close.

You reach for the blanket left unfolded at the opposite end of the couch, a clear sign of your restlessness during the first night you spent here, and throw it over you both, grateful that its size allows for a comfortable cover.

"I think about it a lot," You whispered sadly. "What life would be like if we could be as blissfully ignorant as normal people, not seeing the world through the eyes of sorcerers. I want to live—with you. I want to have a family someday, to hold my little one and know what it feels like to be a mother. I've heard that bond with a child is something else."

A smile tugs are your lips.

Suguru listened attentively, his heart undeniably fluttering. It was painful to hear knowing such dreams were a luxury you couldn’t afford but it was also endearing because you still dared to dream and wish.

You were breaking but you weren’t broken.

His fingers pressed into your scalp massaging in soothing gentle circles. He leaned in closer, his breath warm against your ear.

"In my next life I will make sure to find you again and we'll see that dream a reality. I promise"

Suguru gently presses his lips to the side of your head, his heart leaping at your heartfelt confession. He silently wished he had the courage both selfish and selfless to live this life with you.

Maybe in the next.

☣ copyright @archonsabyss all rights reserved // do not copy; steal; plagiarize; reword or repost my works to any other platform! No translations!! All credits to original owners of characters/anime/pictures that are not my own!embittered

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the-nysh · 10 months

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Oh Meryl.....:') This will be a longpost commentary on the events of Trimax vol5 & 6 primarily from her perspective, so let's get into it!

Alright, so remember the foreshadowing in Meryl's line about seeing Vash's 'entire enigmatic past' from Trimax vol3?!

Well in Trimax vol5 all that becomes true! When getting 'touched by an angel' directly connects her to Vash's memories through contact with his feathers, she gets a front row seat to personally SEE, feel, and experience ALL the worst pain and trauma Vash has endured over his functionally immortal lifetime of horrors!!! Bearing witness to just how heavy a burden of sorrow and torment he's suffered carried with him that she's always wondered about; now she knows the full context of everything.

From witnessing his lone struggles as a younger child first learning how to use a gun, grinding through all his bloody mistakes, losses, and failures, to the worst calamity that he, as a transformed nonhuman 'gun' himself, became capable of unleashing on the planet: the terrifying destruction of July itself.

As Vash regains his lost memories of July through a meltdown of grief, regrets and revelations of his own (how firing his power inadvertently killed everyone he knew and loved), all at once, his pain while reliving those horrors of the past resonates to become her pain. (Remember this for vol6!)

And just to grab a mic to reiterate, Meryl is only a normal human woman here, with no special powers or superhuman training to prepare her how to handle any of this! (This disaster exceeds her realm of expertise!) She’s also the only one who gets to see, understand, and resonate with the entirety of Vash’s pain and feelings on such a direct, private, and literally mind-melding intimate level of connection. (Linking the human with the inhuman/monstrous.) So of course she’s terrified! Being thrust into such an unprecedented dangerous situation, witnessing inescapable horrors beyond human comprehension, AND by getting a very real demonstration of Vash’s power (on the verge of exploding out of control) and his transformed inhumanity RIGHT UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL!

So it’s truly a testament to her mental fortitude and resilience that she didn’t just break from the information overload or succumb to the level of despair and terror right there--no, she bravely keeps her wits about her, and despite everything she remains on Vash’s side, shooting first to defend him (aiming right for Legato using the gun she picked up from Zazie's corpse) as the one who breaks the multiple-way stalemate between all their enemies instead! GO MERYL!!!!

(It's why this moment's probably one of my top favorites in the whole manga!!! ;o;) Cause the entire time, even while under severe mental distress, crawling through the rubble with his powers and feathers surging everywhere, Vash had kept her safe and physically unharmed within his wings, and then her first action upon surfacing was to take charge to protect him in turn!! I love it; cause even during such a dire emergency and all the mental stress she's put under while in the heat of the moment, her faith and dedication (to fight without hesitation at his side) still aim true~

And even after Legato critically pushes the crisis from bad to worse, to the point Vash is provoked into almost firing his Angel Arm in feral-retaliation to stop him (holy foreshadowing of their future duel!) with Meryl literally stuck in the middle of all this chaos (while shocked, powerless, and terrified--bless her heart) as Vash struggles to regain control of himself...

(Note: even Wolfwood was blown back by the surging energy, but with Meryl literally RIGHT THERE under Vash, it's amazing she didn't get hit being that close to him.) ...she STILL doesn't run away from him once the dust settles, and is in fact the first one to approach him in concern to ask if he's ok after...

(So whew, a relieved round of applause for Meryl remaining strong in the active face of so much strife!!) The immediate aftermath of this whole experience gives her the tangible proof and perspective from Vash to understand and fear that Knives--as his twin in power but having the actual intent to destroy the world behind it, is fully capable of ending humanity's future.

Of course, the experience doesn't also leave her unscathed without any lasting mental scars to cope with...as Trimax vol6 so graciously shows us how things will always Get Worse before they can get better...

Where sure enough, she's already having difficultly sleeping with night terrors and loss of appetite--it's honestly no surprise the terrible experience has given her symptoms of ptsd she'd be made of something unbelievably superhuman if she weren't affected, and consulting with Wolfwood unfortunately doesn't offer her anything (helpful) she doesn't already know...(cause at this point, she's literally seen more of Vash, especially the amount suddenly exposed to all at once, than Wolfwood could possibly know how to advise her on. He's still struggling with plenty of his own fears vs loyalties towards Vash himself.)

Only that he stresses the importance she weighs her options now to make the decision to quit her job while she still can (a choice and the freedom to 'get out' that Wolfwood comparatively doesn't have under direct orders from Knives) to remove herself and Milly from getting further involved with Vash--specifically the life-threatening danger he poses as a living weapon (despite his best intentions and character as a person!) set to explode with the firepower to raze the world--if Meryl values her life.

But truly, how does Meryl feel about that? What does she value and care for more, that'd be most important to her--her life or her job? Is following Vash (surveilling him for 'risk management') more than just a job to her at this point? What about her feelings towards him as a person--the man she already knows, vs her need to reconcile with the truth (that he's not even human!) that she didn't know until just recently. Is the level of imminent danger and risk she's putting herself into, now that she fully understands how dire, truly worth it (for him) this time? And if she still truly cares for him, does it even matter what he is? Despite any pros or cons and conflicting feelings about it, which will ultimately remain the stronger reason compelling her choice to stay?

Whew! She has many things to evaluate and consider going forward, especially if she wants to continue at his side. (And as Wolfwood stresses, continuing puts Milly at risk too, so that's even more weight/responsibility to balance on Meryl's shoulders.) Including processing the very nature of her fears--to identify what it is that truly terrifies her (is it truly Vash or something else?) before she can hope to face or overcome them. Before this biggest hurdle tips the scales to debilitate her resolve or outright prevents her from continuing her job at all. For now, she thinks and relates back to the firepower she gained when she first fired a gun...

And ah, HERE IT IS, she recalls what's scared her the most from her own past memories: "I gained the power of death at my fingertips. It was terrifying." Cause the first time she ever shot a person and realized the weight of the power she holds, she hated it. Shocked, collapsed, paralyzed, coming undone in the streets, closing herself off from others, regretting her action terribly... It was all too much. (Sound...familiar to the guilt and regrets of someone else we know? Meryl's shooting style is also notably non-lethal...because she too doesn't like to kill! When her first time wielding 'death' with her Derringers upset her this badly that she needed to adjust to be able to continue her job that required arming herself with this type of power...)

So remember when she resonated with the pain of Vash's memories? Seeing when he first struggled learning how to use a gun too, and all the blood and loss that accompanied it? However...his experiences didn't just end there, with only his first time shooting a person.....cause the first time he shot his real power (without him knowing what would happen) he caused the destruction of an entire city, killing everyone he loved in it! He didn't just 'gain the power of death at his fingertips,' he literally BECAME it, armed with the power to end the world. Hating and regretting his action so terribly, the catastrophe traumatized him with amnesia and led to a full-blown meltdown in grief and despair once he finally remembered. With Meryl there, witnessing and feeling all of it along with him. (His pain became her pain; his trauma became hers...)

That the sheer magnitude of wielding that kind of terror, as an intrinsic, inseparable part of himself (unlike a handheld gun you can choose to put down; he can't), let alone carrying the fear of it going out of control again if he's not careful, is indescribable. And if Meryl can now understand the gravity of that in relation to her own gun experiences (when the memory of firing her Derringers was already enough crushing weight for her to fear) then as the peace-loving person she knows him to be, who's always tried his hardest not to kill anyone, the crushing multitudes she knows he must feel now upon recovering his memories filled with so much death unleashed by his own hands must be unbearable. Feeling precisely just how much MORE terrifying and overwhelming the burden must be for him. It makes her wonder HOW can he still even bring himself to pull the trigger?!

Just look at Meryl's collapsed posture, it's the same she felt in her own past experiences...only this time it's directed in relation towards him--almost expressed in his place for the crushing weight he must feel. She's outright screaming/crying/bawling for him in empathy for the pain he must feel every time he's forced to fight and shoot someone with so much baggage behind it. Oh Meryl....:') (This is probably the strongest we've seen her cry for him...and it certainly won't be the last she cries in concern to relieve the pain of his burden.)

And Meryl, watching him fight on regardless, becomes struck and speechless for another reason, as she realizes how much his incredible strength and fortitude allow him to push past his unbearable pain to continue his job: "I felt...his determination is even stronger than the regret he carries."

Which is true, for the same stronger feeling that compelled him to stop at nothing, despite being on the verge of total collapse bearing his regrets of July, when he grit and forced himself to continue on his mission to save her from the Dragon's Nest. :') This is how he does it; how he continues to fight for what's important. (And yes she was that important, as the thought of losing her like his loved ones at July, is what fueled his determination back then to keep going.)

However, the struggle is never easy, as Vash, for his own part, masked behind his new goggle-edged glasses and kind Rem-like smiles 'as usual,' has not been coping well behind closed doors at all. (That Meryl could even sense an air of unusually 'off' distant/detached/avoidant behavior from him that she asks Milly about it.) We see him immersing himself in thousands of rounds of (non-lethal) target practice til his hand bleeds, and when drilling that level of focus + exposure isn't enough to take the edge off, he visits a church during service to hear a sermon on forgiveness...only for him to deem it hopeless there's no possible release from his sins when he can't even forgive himself, and there's even evidence he'd been drinking in not-quite-so savory (healthy or responsible) ways--unsettling even Wolfwood that something's uncannily off with him. (All being different attempted coping methods to drown out and escape the pain of his past regrets, but even Vash knows it's impossible now to forget...)

So all it takes is one slip-up when he's depressed off his game for everything to tumble into a trainwreck... Where Meryl seeing him block a bullet with his powers (instead of his usual self-aware dodging?) triggers all that terror to come flooding back into a panic attack.

Where it's truly unfortunate (and oh it hurts...) as an accident, something involuntary--a messy, instinctual reaction completely beyond either of their control. Cause Meryl didn't anticipate her ptsd to manifest and incapacitate her like this! that a single flash of his feathers would remind her of Everything--of all the worst horrors those powers are capable of when unleashed, the weaponized death and terror it represents, and the very moment she felt and experienced all of it while trapped powerless and panicked to do anything... No no no, returning to that headspace is horrible; it's all still too fresh to relive and TOO MUCH trauma for a human like her to bear; she couldn't help coming undone in the streets in a far worse way than she's ever had before (and I don't blame her.)

And Vash didn't mean to publically out himself as a nonhuman 'monster' to everyone either, when tensions were already high following Knives' mass murders for them to link the same culpability towards him, while he's still struggling to get a handle on his newly awakened powers too--ohshit indeed when they suddenly manifest and the truth breaches containment freaking everybody out in a witch-hunting mob of scorn, fear, misunderstandings, and hatred. (Ouch...)

What's more, Vash probably didn't even know Meryl had seen his memories, or had been affected by his trauma to such an overwhelming degree--since the transfer happened more as an autonomous side effect of his powers activating rather than anything he purposely intended....(once again, unintended consequences beyond his control; he never meant to cause any of this harm!!) So from his perspective he probably doesn't fully understand how to interpret her distress (apart from the crowd's?!) or know what to do to help. Cause reactions from strangers are one thing to bear, but if he sees her reaction to him--and his nonhuman display, as anything like theirs...then it's so much worse cause it's Meryl, who's known and been with him since the beginning. She's someone important he cares for...and now she's hurt and visibly scared from yet again another mistake he can't undo. ohno ohno he knows he messed up...

(Plus poor Milly has no context to understand what's wrong, or why Meryl's so upset either, since she'd been knocked out during the later parts of the Dragon's Nest to know what happened. So now she's alarmed and concerned trying to process why everything's suddenly gone to shit, anchoring Meryl the best she can, while shaken by the pain and cruelty Vash endures in such a situation masked with a smile...)

Despite the stones thrown by the crowd (nooo~) Vash's first priority concern is to run straight over to check on Meryl...

*And here's where I scream bloody murder* Cause that single flinch--from reaching towards her with that arm too, probably hurts him more than any of those stones thrown at him in hatred and revulsion that he's a monster. Cause to him it probably reads as a perceived rejection from Meryl (noooo~), and the amount he's hurt from realizing he's the one who hurt her this way....ohhhhh his crushing guilt must be heart-shattering...;A;

But there's no time, as before Meryl's even ready to speak or clarify how she feels, the choice she previously had on whether she wants to leave or stay is taken from her as Vash is the one who's forced to leave her instead. :')) The only thing Vash can do is repeatedly apologize as he runs away he can't even say goodbye--Wolfwood has to say that for him...and admit to Wolfwood how much he 'really feels like crying.'

(And once again poor Milly, left with no other explanations, can only read how much his pained empty mask of a smile has broken...)

What sucks even more, is knowing how much Meryl had already empathized with his pain (she could already feel that strongly for him!) and being in no condition to explain herself or her fears to him, once her panic subsides, she's bound to feel that much more terrible with guilt from realizing how her reaction (especially her flinch) had unintentionally hurt and pushed him away....leading towards a bad result she simply couldn't help and had no power to change...what a disaster.

But is someone as usually brave and tenacious like Meryl going to let that be the end of it? Broken on a disastrous parting and painful misunderstanding (she never meant to 'reject' him!!!) she literally had no say over? What of her brand of determination--especially towards what she feels (and decides) is most important, becoming stronger than the pain and regrets she carries? (Just like Vash! Can she find it within her to continue, or start over, inspired just as he does?)

Her struggle now becomes finding that strength (even a driving belief) to tentatively (re)build that trust and acceptance between them towards recovery. To endure, fight, and conquer those horrors to bridge (reconnect) the gap between the human and monstrous that separates them. (Especially if she truly cares and wants to do it--for the sake of what Matters, for what'll make the effort Worth it.) It'll be huge and seemingly insurmountable for any other person bearing the same strife she carries, but you can do it Meryl, I believe in you~~

#trigun #trigunbookclub #commentary #vashmeryl #long text post #aaaaaaAAAAAA well I Tried :'D #wanted to do this in vol5's week but didn't feel it'd be complete without covering the aftermath in vol6 #and WHEW the repeated 9999 critical hits of emotional damage made this Difficult

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geekgirles · 3 months

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Nora's Design and What It Might Have Been Hinting at

There's a very high chance this will all feel a little incoherent and like I'm maybe grasping at straws, but I really do think I have a point here, so deal with me, please.

Okay, so, Nora. Nora's design.

Ever since it was first revealed, the general consensus has been that it kinda sucked, especially compared to her design for Islands of Wakfu. Because let's face it, when we take into account the Council of Six's more varied and detailed designs...

Compared to them (and especially her flashback self, look how cute, and eager, and fun-loving she used to be!), Nora is literally just a pink ninja:

Let's face it, it was underwhelming.

However, and I know I'm not the first one who's come to the realisation that Nora's current design and colour palette is indeed intentional, rather than a poor choice, I believe I understand now what Ankama was trying to do.

Nora's design was meant to be foreshadowing of her actual role in the season. More specifically, her role in allowing the Necromes free access to the World of Twelve.

If you think about it, all the major Eliatrope players this season followed a very simple colour palette that tied them to the Eliatrope goddess and marked them as forces of good: while white was a very prominent colour, blue was the one they all had in common.

All the actual protectors of the World of Twelve... Except Nora.

Her design is the one that clashes the most with the rest of her family. But unlike Qilby, whose more monstrous appearance served as a reminder of his past atrocities and kept both Yugo and the audience on their toes because surely he must be up to something, Nora's more down-to-earth design kept the focus away from her.

In fact, I'd even say her white hair was another deliberate choice to make us subconsciously believe she was on her family's side. After all, white is a very prominent colour in the Eliatropes' palette, especially in the Eliatrope goddess. What's more, deep down, she is on her family's side! These past few episodes showed us that it was Efrim who used Nora to advance his master's agenda, she had no agency or say in the matter whatsover.

And yet, her most promiment colour is pink. A clear opposite from her family's more prominent blue. And what does pink remind us of? That's right.

Stasis.

Death, destruction, stability.

The Necromes.

And just like the Necromes, even Nora's eyes are naturally pink. These parallels only become more pronounced once Nora becomes possessed by Efrim, when all of her, even her portals, have similar hues.

Both her colour palette and role in the Necrome invasion are opposite from Yugo, especially once he too has been captured and had his Wakfu stolen.

I refuse to believe this contrast between the two isn't intentional.

Because now, now that even Qilby has acknowleged him as his King, now that he commands the Eliatrope Dofus and the Eliasphere, now that the World of Twelve and his loved ones need him more than ever... Now everything about Yugo is blue.

Nora is the unwilling traitor, so the pink in her outift had to reflect that. Yugo is the hero stepping up to the challenge now that things are more dire than ever, and he wears his people's colours with pride.

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deception-united · 2 months

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Back again for more writing advice. How dos one write game seven moments? Like there's no second chances if you fail. You screw this up the major villain wins. How do I make the audience feel the tension emphasize the tension and stakes?

Thanks for asking! Here are some techniques you can use to achieve that:

Foreshadowing: Hint at the consequences of failure early on in the story. Drop subtle clues about what could happen if the protagonist doesn't succeed. This builds anticipation and dread in the reader's mind.

Character Investment: Ensure that the audience is deeply invested in the protagonist's journey and the outcome of the conflict. Develop relatable and sympathetic characters whose success or failure truly matters to the audience.

Raise the Stakes: Continuously raise the stakes throughout the story, making it clear that failure is not an option. Highlight what's at risk if the protagonist doesn't succeed, whether it's the safety of loved ones, the fate of the world, or the protagonist's own life.

Intense Descriptions: Use vivid and descriptive language to immerse the audience in the moment. Describe the tension in the air, the sweat on the protagonist's brow, the palpable fear of the looming threat. Make the audience feel like they're right there alongside the protagonist, facing the same dire circumstances.

Time Pressure: Create a sense of urgency by imposing time constraints on the protagonist. Make it clear that there's a deadline looming, adding an extra layer of tension as the clock ticks down.

Confrontation: Build anticipation leading up to the climactic confrontation between the protagonist and the villain. Use short, punchy sentences and quick pacing to reflect the frenetic energy of the moment.

Emotional Arcs: Show the emotional toll that the pressure and stakes are taking on the protagonist and other characters. Let the audience see their doubts, fears, and vulnerabilities, as well as their determination to overcome them.

Twists and Turns: Keep the readers on the edge of their seats by introducing unexpected twists and turns in the plot. Just when they think they know how things will play out, throw in a curveball that raises the stakes even higher.

Sensory Details: Engage the reader's senses by including sensory details that evoke the atmosphere of the scene. Describe the sights, sounds, smells, and sensations that surround the characters, intensifying the reader's immersion in the moment.

Resolution: Finally, deliver a satisfying resolution that pays off the tension and stakes you've built throughout the story. Whether the protagonist succeeds or fails, make sure the outcome feels earned and emotionally resonant.

Hope this helped! ❤

#ask #writeblr #writing #writing tips #writing advice #writing help #writing resources #creative writing #deception-united

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shiut · 3 months

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How much did Yakou know?

Very long and detailed analysis of Yakou's involvement in the plot beneath the cut.

Yakou is an interesting character to me. He gets his own mildly insightful short story about his detective origins. However, I crave to think that there's gotta be more to him than just the kind of pathetic (affectionate) stressed out dad-like figure that mostly kind of nags and bosses Yuma around for the majority of the game.

Ok, it sounds like I'm ragging on him, but he does have an occasional side of him in dire situations where he shows a selfless loyalty and trust in his team that proves he takes his leadership position seriously, even if he does really rock the irresponsible mess look. And he gets to be cool in his own chapter for a minute.

But there is a moment that sticks out to me, especially in hindsight after finishing the game, and that's the prologue where you get your first and probably most substantial talk with him.

He says that he does not want Kanai Ward to change practically within the same breath where he explains how terribly he's treated as a detective in this horrendously corrupt murder infested police state.

Although he makes it clear that he has a deep personal affection and nostalgic attachment to this city that shows a bias for why he would say this, we hear from multiple people throughout the game that Kanai Ward has not been the same in recent years as it has been in the past that Yakou has rooted his love in.

So why does he feel as if any change to the current state of Kanai Ward would disrupt the "peace and quiet" it deserves?

Unless he knows something about the city that's just so fundamentally irreparable that this is the closest to peace and quiet that it'll ever get again, and trying to fix it would only somehow destroy it.

Everything about the rooftop scene, from talking about the city, to Shinigami commenting on how ominous he feels to her, to the fact that he's the person who explains the rumor that the rain affects peoples' bodies.

Highlighted text tends to be easy to overlook, but I can't help but feel like there's some significance to his usage of "illusion in the rain". It's like he knows something that nobody else can see (and an obvious foreshadowing of how the rain is one of the main means of covering up Kanai Ward's mystery).

But this segues into the themes of his later chapter which also focuses on Vivia, who mirrors Yakou in a lot of ways, beyond just being another guy who muses on about peace and quiet.

Speaking of, a mirror is what Vivia uses as a metaphor for the benefit of blissful ignorance and the potential catastrophic dangers of the painful truth.

For the purposes of this chapter, he is explaining the type of pain and the effect on Yuma's world view that uncovering Yakou's crime will incur. It also acts as a setup for the development of Yuma's conviction that he will later need to use in the final chapter of the game. But the distorted reality the Vivia explains in the mirror does call me back to Yakou's "illusion in the rain" comment.

Vivia also explains that the truth that Yuma uncovers for truth's sake will lead to the destruction of the world. While he could be referring to the world and humanity in general, in the context of this chapter, world can mean a lot of things though, such as Yuma's innocence in the way he views the world as he knows it.

Or namely, from Makoto's point of view, it could also mean the destruction of the homunculi and the only version of the world that Makoto believes they can exist in.

Did Yakou come to a similar conclusion as Makoto based on what he found out?

Like Vivia in chapter 4, who did not want the culprit to be revealed, it seemed like Yakou had the full intention of not cooperating with investigating the Kanai Ward mystery until he was forced to by a directive from Number One. Even so, he came off as if encouraging the detectives to drag their feet on it for the sake of staying out of trouble.

But we know that he is not lazy, unmotivated, or stupid. In a world where you're competing with people who are fast-tracked into the WDO if they have literal super powers, Yakou was inducted by pure detective skill. He had definitely been spending a lot of his time laying low and investigating Kanai Ward himself, because he didn't trust the UG or the WDO if they turned their attention to the city.

Yakou already knew about the homunculus research in some way.

Even if he didn't know about everyone being a homunculus, he at least knew enough that he believed that the city itself would be shattered by the involvement of the UG and WDO.

And then we get to chapter 5 with the mindless zombie homunculi.

Except, they're not all completely mindless. As a matter of fact, I had come to notice something about all the non-aggressive homunculi: they all seemed to have some degree of awareness about Amaterasu's research.

The fake Zilch, who was one of Yomi's closest advisors and knew about all of Dr Huesca's and Yomi's activity in the lab concerning homunculus research, and was implied to be the one who killed Yakou's wife for whistleblowing. Fink, who was propositioned by Makoto himself to infiltrate the lab, and who was then killed by Makoto for 'knowing too much'. Dr Huesca, who was the head researcher for the homunculi. And the former CEO, who was the prime overseer of the research.

And then there was Yakou, who gives Yuma the video evidence of Dr Huesca's death at the hands of the homunculi as he explained the results of the experiment. The easy explanation is that Makoto planted this video on the zombie Yakou to be given to Yuma in the restricted area.

However, another thing that the non-aggressive zombies had in common is that they seemed to be stuck thinking about what seems to be their final thoughts before their death, barring the former CEO who was unusually lucid compared to all of them.

Considering this, I feel like Yakou's final thoughts were for Yuma to expose the truth about the homunculi for him, and to give him the DVD as the key evidence he needed. Whether Makoto gave Yakou this video, or if Yakou already had this video himself, his final thought before dying was to make sure Yuma got it.

I always thought it was a bit strange for Yakou to go and decide to murder Dr Huesca at the slightest provocation by Yomi, and then had this whole complicated coverup plan. If Kurumi could look into Yakou's background for only a day and come to the conclusion that Amaterasu had killed his wife for whistleblowing, then Yakou himself would've definitely already known and could've tried to kill Dr Huesca a long time ago.

I don't think the provocation was by Yomi's letter. I believe at some point, he had found out that Huesca and Yomi could possibly leak information about the homunculus research. He decided to kill Huesca as a gambit reveal Yomi's involvement with leaking research before it could get out into the public and destroy Kanai Ward, and he entrusted this truth to Yuma and the rest of his detectives. Yakou knew that the lie that they were living, the one that was keeping Kanai Ward together, wasn't going to last much longer.

This conveniently aligned with Makoto's motives to oust Yomi. Makoto, the one who also knew that Yomi would cause the lie holding Kanai Ward together to unravel, and who happened to introduce Fink to Yakou. Fink thought that Yakou did not know about Makoto orchestrating their meeting, and perhaps he was right in that Yakou didn't know that it was Makoto specifically, but maybe Makoto was the one who tipped Yakou off to Amaterasu's homunculus research possibly being leaked and may have even given Yakou the DVD.

Makoto may not have exactly manipulated Yakou. It just simply that both Yakou and Makoto similarly knew that the UG sticking their nose into Kanai Ward about the homunculus research was incredibly dangerous. Makoto simply gave Yakou the ultimatum and means to stop Yomi. The difference is that Makoto's goal was to get rid of Yomi and assume full control of the city in order to further suppress its secret, but Yakou's goal was the provide the truth to his detectives in order to fix things.

And I wrote all this BEFORE the Yakou DLC came out.

Where we find out that Yakou has had the prototype cure for homunculi the whole time. And depending on whether or not his wife here is a ghost or a hallucination, it seems like she had always known that there would be a need to regenerate the zombified brain cells of homunculi. Yakou might've been biding time not only to try and figure out how to reconcile the whole homunculus research issue without the UG destroying Kanai Ward, but maybe also for someone to finish research on this medicine.

TLDR; Yakou had always known about the homunculus research and was hiding it because he believed that the info getting leaked would cause the destruction of Kanai Ward by the hands of the UG. In the end, he figured out that the secret would not keep up for much longer, and his plot in chapter 4 wasn't for revenge, but to entrust that Yuma and the rest of his detectives would be able to uncover the truth and work out a way to save Kanai Ward.

#rain code #raincode #master detective archives: rain code #rain code spoilers #yakou furio #shiutpost #my analysis #analysis

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lunariamv · 11 months

Text

this is a writing test lol

desc: yandere x fem reader (but hes quirky); obsessive + possessive behavior, manipulation, implied violence

˚➶ ｡˚ Him falling for you was pretty fast. It only took a few interactions between you two to get him hooked, and once he was, he was down bad.

˚➶ ｡˚ Maybe it was in class, or at work, but once he took an interest, he’d start finding himself looking forward to seeing you again with delightful anticipation. Though, that would quickly spiral into a dire need to satiate himself.

˚➶ ｡˚ He’d befriend you as quickly as he can. As he’s a charming personality with a good-looking face, yet down to earth enough that it's easy to trap you in an unsuspecting pitfall. Sooner or later, he’ll woo you into dating him. Incredibly cocky, he’s overconfident in his ability to make you fall for him. So much so in fact he doesn’t feel at all threatened by your potential suitors. Why do they even bother? It’s not like they have a chance when you two are clearly made for each other.

˚➶ ｡˚ That being said, he has a lot of odd mannerisms that confuse you. For one, he has no problem saying grim or odd things with a straight face. To name another, he’s overly interested in everything about you, though you could just write that off as him being a doting boyfriend. It’s nice to have your partner pay this much attention to you. But still, does every girl have a boyfriend who knows their exact measurements by heart…?

˚➶ ｡˚ “Can we hold hands? I have a tendency to get lost.” He smiles nonchalantly.

˚➶ ｡˚ His sudden request bewilders you, and has your brows instinctively furrowing in response. Huh...?? First of all, you’re in an open park. Second of all, does he really have that poor coordination?

˚➶ ｡˚ He’s amused by your confused look. “Come on, if you’re not quick, I might just wind up in another dimension.” Even though he’s clearly joking, he says it with such a sincere straight face.

˚➶ ｡˚ Maybe it’s his stupidly attractive looks, or the ridiculous way he talks, but it inclines you to reach out and take his hand. Whatever odd spell he cast on you with that dumb rizz, it worked. On the inside, he’s smirking with victory. He’s a genius.

˚➶ ｡˚ “My girlfriend, sorry. My girlfriend, sorry. My girlfriend, she… sorry.” Like a broken record, he keeps comedically repeating himself on purpose in front of the stranger that keeps looking at you. The two of you went out, and this random guy tried to get your attention. However, in informing the poor guy about something else, he felt he needed to clarify to the man that you were taken. A lot.

˚➶ ｡˚ He does this often, reminding everyone that the two of you are in fact dating. It’s one of his favorite hobbies, to your embarrassment. With how much he says it, you’re pretty sure the entire world knows by now.

˚➶ ｡˚ He’s also very overly affectionate. He’s a degenerate, so he likes holding your hand quite a lot. Often, he’ll surprise you by hugging you from behind or placing a hand over your eyes. He enjoys everything from head pats to kissing. Honestly, he just likes any sort of physical contact. Any excuse to touch you, he’ll take it without hesitation. More often he’ll say the dumbest things to win your affections, like the getting lost thing.

˚➶ ｡˚ Extra: if he’s like the gamer/internet guy type, he’ll ironically call you weird pet names or his “waifu” just to confuse you/freak you out like “Oh my god, it’s (Y/N), my precious waifu~~~~!!!”

its foreshadowing cuz he wants to wife u haha

˚➶ ｡˚ He’s very stupid, but that’s part of his charm. Though, he does have his 10000 iq play moments.

˚➶ ｡˚ He’s not really the violent type of yan. Contrary to his dark jokes, he’d rather not get his hands dirty if he doesn't have to. He’s a funny man, not a fighter;;

˚➶ ｡˚ Which means he’s more of the manipulative type, which requires a ‘sharp intellect’ and smooth moves. It’s a multi-step program to get to you, as he’s constructed. First he’ll befriend you to gain your trust, second is getting to know every single one of your friends, and then finally winning over your parents (or guardian). Bonus points if they tell you they think he’s husband material.

˚➶ ｡˚ By carefully intertwining himself to so many aspects of your life, it’ll be much harder for you to leave him.

˚➶ ｡˚ Not sure why you’d ever want to leave him for anyone else anyways. After all, he’s a self-made man… talented, kind, a good cook, and he’s always looking out for you. He’s so sweet! Just marry him already!!!

˚➶ ｡˚ Though, perhaps he might’ve paid someone to push you in harms way once or twice, but really… that’s nothing but baseless conjecture.

˚➶ ｡˚ If he somehow ever does get driven to maybe, I don’t know, ‘off somebody’... He’ll be extremely careful, but he’ll also have some fun with it.

˚➶ ｡˚ That friend of yours with a mild crush on you? The poor guy had an axe-ident. The creep hitting on you at the store? He took a trip and had a good fall…..

…..Onto an active sawblade HAHA WOOPS

˚➶ ｡˚ He really likes to make you laugh and hates to see you upset. He’s always trying to lift your spirits with his dumb jokes and playful, childish personality. Though, he also enjoys saying and doing the wildest things to get you flustered. There's just something so fun to him about being a rat and catching you off guard.

˚➶ ｡˚ As long as he pretends to be a ‘normal’ boyfriend though, and keeps his darker infatuation under wraps, the two of you will be together for eternity. He’s done a good job so far, as you don’t (or hardly) suspect a thing.

˚➶ ｡˚ Though, should you ever get an inkling of suspicion, or he’s unfortunate enough to make you fully dubious of him, he’ll brush off these notions very easily. Gaslighting must be in his genes, because he’s crazy good at it.

˚➶ ｡˚ He cares about you so much, so it truly hurts to see you so wary around him. What reason do you have to suspect him? Lovers need to trust one another. People make mistakes, can’t you forgive him for being just a little bit selfish?

˚➶ ｡˚ And even if you find yourself distrusting him, exactly who’s going to believe you? He has your family and friends wrapped around his finger. If you so much as imply that your loving boyfriend, the friendly neighborhood golden boy, the witty man who doesn't look like he'd harm a fly, is actually evil… you'll be laughed off. And if you persist, they’ll start to think you’re crazy. Are you crazy? If that's the case... he’ll gladly play the part as your devoted lover, and make sure to take good care of you.

🔥🔥🔥🔥 i love this type sm

i wanted to try to write one of these, maybe ill write more? idk

follow for more content of a similar nature;;

♡ more writings (in an x-reader series style) on my quotev ♡

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere x y/n #yandere oc x reader #yandere oc #yandere male #male yandere #fem reader #x reader #x female reader #yandere x female reader #yandere headcanons #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere writing #writing #one-off writing

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