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#the end of my trip and I don’t have much time at all and I need to kill everyone and then myself now now now now now now now now now now now
kyupidos · 2 days
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04/28/24’s delivery 🏹✉️ twisted wonderland
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and, here’s to you!ヽ( ・∀・)ノ_θ彡☆Σ(ノ `Д´)ノ,ヽ( ・∀・)ノ_θ彡☆Σ(ノ `Д´)ノ ;; summary. ‘a date, for a kind thing they did for you.”
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characters. savanaclaw , octavinelle : ruggie bucchi , jade leech ( separate ) ;; romantic . 🖇️ tags. reader is gender neutral ( you/your ), reader may or may not be yuu ( up to the reader ), pre-relationship, romantic fluff
📡 _a/n. well, this is a little short..sorry for the late-ish update y’all, was busy praising my sebek nesoberi that i finally got 🙏🙏
r. bucchi
— oh wow, how ruggie would appreciate a buffet styled dinner date.. and to think he was getting it because he helped you out on some important assignments you missed out on because you were rotting sick in bed!! to have been able to have racked up this kind of debt for you to get this sort of pay…wait hey, did you think he liked you? oh, he doesn’t, not like the food he eats somehow tastes better when he’s eating with you, and it’s not like he’s oddly nervous whenever you near him. ..on obvious lie on his end—he knows full well he likes you, but he’s not sure he’d be able to provide for you, so he lays a little low until he can assess.
— so to know you invited him on this kind of dinner date, to a buffet? safe to say he’s stoked if nothing else. he’s just about ready to eat whatever comes his way, but at the very least he’d like to cater to you. this is a date after all, and he’d hate to ruin the chance you gave him. so take a seat at your table, he’ll bring him and yourself whatever foods may suit your fancy, and do his best to impress you since you’re the one paying for this. he wouldn’t want to disappoint, or take advantage of this in an unsavory manner ( obviously he’s still gonna eat as much as he can, what’d ya expect? ).
— once you get back to your dorms, nearing the dead of night around a little around when one would usually eat their dinner, expect him to invite you over to savanaclaw for said dinner, something he was ready to prep just for you. after all, while a buffet is nice, a homemade dinner is equally so, if not better given it was made from the heart of people you know.
j. leech
— after scaring some delinquent classmates off your tail with his scary ( not yet ) boyfriend attitude, you took it upon yourself to ask jade on a date to go mountain hiking—and who was he to refuse? after all he’s head over heels for you, and he’s been looking for a well enough opportunity to go on an outing for you; he would never decline a chance like this. if you hear his little giggles as he comes to find you didn’t stand him up, don’t point it out. not like he’s hiding it, but he might end up a little shy over it. give him a bit to settle into his usual confident mereel self.
— he wouldn’t want you to trip and fall on your hiking date, so he requests you hold onto his hand ( he knows full well you can handle yourself, he just wants an excuse ). either way he does his best to care for you, especially if you only asked to go mountain hiking because you knew it was something that’d make him happy. he might scold you a bit if he found out, not to mention if you happen to be inexperienced. but he won’t chew you out too harshly, because he’s enjoying the time he’s got to spend with you, and he’s hoping you feel the same.
— once the sun is set, finally the two of you go back, visiting jade’s room, which is surprisingly empty, leaving the two of you to bask in each others silence. just lay there for a little with him, and rejuvenate as you settle down into some light conversation after a nice afternoon mountain hiking date.
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pepperonidk · 2 days
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the kids are alright || l.c
pairing: dad!lee chan x mom!reader warnings: reader goes by mom word count: 1362 summary: parenthood is chaotic, but things will come out alright in the end
a/n: i’ve been binge watching modern family and i felt bad for my latest jihoon angst so i thought i’d offer some tooth rotting fluff as an olive branch
main masterlist || taglist
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“Okay,” you let out a sigh as you plopped down on the sofa beside your husband who was slipping his socks on. “That’s all three ready for school.” 
“Really?” Chan looked down at his watch with an impressed look. “With 6 whole minutes to spare. That’s gotta be a record.” You rolled your eyes playfully at him.
Before you could bask in the glory of mastering your kids’ morning routine however, a shrill voice called your name from upstairs. “Mom, I can’t find my biology project.”
Chan sucked in a breath and shook his head. “Spoke too soon,” he teased. You playfully shoved him as you stood from the couch and headed towards the kitchen. You and Chan had spent the better part of last night helping your daughter Jia with a diorama for her biology class (read: you and Chan did all the work). 
“It’s in the kitchen,” you called back as she came down the stairs. “Do you have everything else?” 
“Yeah,” she replied, grabbing the project off the counter and rushing behind you to the fridge to grab a water bottle. “Oh, one of the gremlins said they need cash for something at school today though.”
“Honey,” you chastised. “Don’t call your siblings that, it’s not nice.” By the end of your warning, she was already in the living room asking her father for a ride to the mall after school. 
“She called us what?” Minjun, one of the twins, asked as he entered the room with his jacket halfway on and his lunch box halfway unzipped. You rushed over to help him, letting out a sigh.
“Nothing,” you answered him before calling on your husband when you realized one of your kids had yet to make it downstairs. “Chan can you grab Minji? She’s still in her room.” 
Chan quickly replied a quick “Sure,” before running up the stairs to grab the other twin. It wasn’t until you heard Minji squeal as he literally grabbed her and picked her up that you turned your attention back to Minjun.
“Jia said you and Minji needed money today?” You questioned him as you inspected him to make sure he didn’t forget anything else. 
“Yeah,” he replied, ruffling his hair. “We have a class trip next week that we’re supposed to pay for.”
“A class trip?” you echoed back. “I didn’t know you had a class trip.”
Minjun shrugged his shoulders in response. “Minji and I told dad about it last week,” he explained.
You looked up at your husband coming down the stairs with your daughter riding on his shoulders. “Chan?” you questioned with your hands on your hips.
“Right,” he responded sheepishly. “I think I have the permission slips in my briefcase.” He set Minji down and quickly went to his study to find the slips. He returned and handed one piece of paper to each twin, only for Minji to groan.
“Ugh, dad,” she complained. “You gave me Minjun’s.” She and her brother swapped papers before stuffing them in their backpacks without a care and you cringed at the sight of their papers crumpling in the mess.
“Whoops,” Chan ran a hand through his hair. “Does everyone have everything?”
“Yes,” all three called in response.
“Alright, team,” he clapped and began with a cheery voice. “Happy Monday.”
It wasn’t until the kids were all dropped off that you and Chan were able to actually have a minute to yourselves. It was a rare day that you were both off from work and an even rarer day that the kids weren’t home. Although you very much loved your kids, it wasn’t hard to admit that it was nice to have a break from them every once in a while.
You and Chan had taken separate cars to drop the kids off so you could stop by the grocery store to pick up some things you were low on and by the time you finally made it back home, Chan was curled up on the couch watching a kids’ cartoon. You smiled at the sight of him clad in his old pajamas and with Minjun’s Spider-Man blanket only covering a small portion of his body.
“Hey,” he greeted you quietly before sitting up. Once he noticed the grocery bags in your hands, he stood up to grab them from you before heading into the kitchen to help you put the groceries away.
“How was drop-off?” he asked you as he put the produce in the fridge.
“It wasn’t too bad today,” you shrugged. “I got to the twins’ school before the typical traffic jam, so you know… a happy Monday indeed.” You smirked at Chan, feeling proud of your small win for the day. “What about you?”
Chan let out a sigh, now folding up the emptied grocery bag. “Jia made me drive at like half the speed limit,” he glared at you as you laughed at his misery. “She said that her diorama was precious cargo and then went on a tangent about how her whole future is on the line and blah, blah–”
You swatted him playfully. “Honey, I’m pretty sure it’s illegal for us as parents to blah blah our kids,” you joked.
Chan simply scoffed. “Show me where in the parent rulebook it says that,” he replied as you rolled your eyes. “I did what she asked, anyway. Took us almost 30 minutes to get to the drop-off area, but I did it, because I’m an amazing father.” He leaned back against the counter while you finished putting away the last box of cereal.
“You definitely are,” you agreed with just a hint of sarcasm in your voice as you walked back to the living room with your husband hot on your heels.
“Hey,” he stuttered, and without even turning to look at him, you knew his lips were pushed into a pout. “I am an amazing father.”
You laughed as you plopped down onto the sofa where he was earlier and took the small blanket for yourself. “I never said you weren’t,” you replied impishly. “But remember that time when you forgot Jia–”
Chan cut you off by sitting down next to you and poking your side, eliciting a squeal from you. “I didn’t forget her,” he corrected. “I was teaching her a lesson about being independent. I only made it to the parking lot before I remembered.” The last part came out mumbled and you let out a laugh. 
“Well what about the time Minjun asked for ketchup on his fries and you accidentally put sriracha sauce on it instead?” Chan retorted.
“Hey,” you chided, poking him back on the side. “I was also teaching him a lesson.”
“Yeah?” Chan teased, grabbing your hands to stop you from retaliating. “What lesson were you teaching him? That sriracha is scary?”
“No,” you retorted. “That uh… that sometimes moms make mistakes.” You pouted at the end of your sentence and Chan chuckled before pulling you onto his lap.
“Aw, sweetheart,” he cooed and you buried your face into his neck. “At least it was a funny mistake.” You poked him in the rib one last time as he let out a pained chuckle. He tightened his hold around you and the two of you stayed quiet for a beat with only the sound of the cartoon playing in the background.
“Chan,” you called his name softly. “Do you think the kids are gonna be alright?”
He hummed thoughtfully before replying. “Of course,” he replied softly and with seriousness. “We’re good parents.”
“Even though I fed my 3 year old son sriracha?” you asked.
“Yes,” he answered. “And even though I almost forgot a 7 year old at the store.”
You laughed against his chest. “How do you know that?”
“Because they have parents who love them and will love them no matter what,” he pulled away from you to look into your eyes. “And even if we make mistakes along the way, we don’t stop trying to do better, and neither will they.”
“The kids are lucky to have you,” you replied before leaning up to meet Chan in a soft kiss. “And so am I.”
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taglist: @yksthings @iamxelia @coveyland @xuimhao @sana-is-ms-rmty @gummymintae
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graciereadshannigram · 16 hours
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hey fam, welcome to the April 2024 roundup of the best hannigram fics i've read this past month! i read over 100 fics total, and these were the cream of the crop.
as a reminder: the ingredients for a five star rating typically (but not always!!) include some combination of a.) believable characterizations of both Hannibal and Will, b.) compelling plot and/or character arcs, and c.) high quality smut.
that being said, my judgment of the aforementioned ingredients is powered almost exclusively by vibes and as such, is incredibly subjective.
you can find past recs below:
February March
and if you have any recs of your own for me, PLEASE SHARE.
anyway, in no particular order, let's go!
~
A place you can never go by det395
Word Count: 84,596 Summary: When things don’t go according to plan, Hannibal makes a wish. He finds himself a year-and-a-half in the past and seemingly given another chance with Will. His feelings about the situation only get more complicated when he realizes he may not have completely lost access to his old timeline after all. A Digestivo canon divergence.
If you follow me, you probably saw me already raving about this fic. This was so fucking good, holy fucking shit. And also heartbreaking. Made me think a lot about the nature of reality and what does it mean for something to be "real." Plus, I really love fics that explore their shared mind palace because I genuinely think that is one of the more underexplored aspects of their relationship. Definitely heavy on the angst, but there is a happy ending!
even though our love is doomed by bleakmidwinter
Word Count: 82,427 Summary: Hannibal solves the mystery of time travel and he and Will decide to go into the past and take opportunities previously missed along with rewriting the regrets they each hold. Changing the past does not effect the future and they have free reign to play as the please.
GIVE ME MORE THAN FIVE STARS PLEASE. I am obsessed with this fic. I've mostly stayed clear of time travel fics (aside from, you know, the one right above this) because the execution can be hit or miss, but let me fucking tell you. This was a god damn home run. There's a little bit of angst, but then there's also a chapter where Will challenges Hannibal that he wouldn't have been able to seduce him while Will was still working in Louisiana fixing boat motors. And obviously Hannibal decides to take that challenge.
Railroad Romance by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles
Word Count: 12,400 Summary: Hannibal is still Hannibal, and Will is still Will. Except Will is not part of the FBI and they meet on a two day train trip from New Orleans to Baltimore.
Dirty. Talk. In. FRENCH. Holy shit. Okay this was excellent. EXCELLENT. Perfect characterizations, and wonderful dialogue. Wow. Also, I love trains. Who doesn't love trains?
patroclus in furs by bleakmidwinter
Word Count: 130,185 Summary: If Will and Hannibal hadn't gone into their respective careers, they would have become porn stars.
I had my doubts about a pornstar AU, but I've really enjoyed everything else by this author and it was over 100k, so I gave it a shot! And WOW. The characterizations of both Will and Hannibal were spot on and believable. A good mix of fluff and angst, and the author clearly put a lot of thought into the porn scenes. Tbh I'm probably going to reread this shortly.
Pavlova by nbcravenstag
Word Count: 33,369 Summary: It’s not like Hannibal didn’t know that Will was hiding something. It was after the third body drop a week ago that it became clear that Will had a secret that somehow involved the case, one he wasn’t willing to share yet, not even with Hannibal. At 6:43 AM, Will had texted Hannibal that a fourth body had been found and that he was on his way to the scene with Jack. At 8:06 PM, Will had stepped into Hannibal’s office, thirty-six minutes past his appointment time, and practically shouted “I used to be a stripper!” as loudly as his hoarse voice would allow him to. Hannibal Lecter, though not phased by much in life, has never been entirely able to predict Will Graham, but this is just… getting out of control. Alternatively, the FBI is hunting a serial killer targeting male strippers, and Will decides to throw himself into the fray. Hannibal is beyond pleased.
An AU where Will was a stripper in college and now he's working a case where he can be live bait as a stripper? Shut the fuck up. Mostly told from Hannibal's perspective, and it's just *chefs kiss*. Who knew Will giving Hannibal a lap dance would be so HOT. (I could have guessed.)
Lessons In Submission by wyldefire
Word Count: 5,173 Summary: Hannibal was stubborn, independent, and Will had always loved that about him, but there were times, times like these, in the midst of heat, in the midst of such a thorough breeding, when lessons in submission were necessary.
My only thought at the end of this was, "Shut the whole fuck up" in the best way possible. Smut. Just all smut.
A Very Special Guest by LesBeanBurrito
Word Count: 56,660 Summary: Season 1 AU in which Will stays for Hannibal’s dinner party after bringing the bottle of wine at the end of 1X07 Sorbet. Embarrassed and Sassy Will Graham meets Smitten Hannibal Lecter.
I LOVE a good season 1 AU and this was checking all of the boxes for me! There's a secret relationship, Hannibal actually gets Will treated for his encephalitis, Will finds out about Hannibal, etc. Very much loved the plot, and the characterizations were spot on.
lover to your nightmare (look what you made of me) by merrythoughts and ReallyMissCoffee
Word Count: 123,367 Summary: Driving back home, it’s then he reflects on Hannibal asking him to run away that night. To forgo their plans altogether, to slip away. [Canon divergent. Will confesses his betrayal and asks Hannibal to run away with him, but Will has a plan of his own...]
You want dark!Will mixed in with some incredibly jealous and possessive Hannigram? Hooo boy do I have a fic for you! The ending was a little abrupt, but it was the perfect mix of gut-wrenching angst and toxicity + smoking hot smut. I genuinely had to stop and focus on my breathing more than once.
On the Lam by shotgun_sinner
Word Count: 63,992 Summary: Post-Fall (Hannibal)season 4Crack Treated SeriouslyOn the RunWill Graham Discovers FanfictionExplicit Sexual Contentsexual identity crisisThat's Not Really A CrisisWill Graham is HannisexualMurder HusbandsHomophobiaMurder of a HomophobeHannibal Lecter Loves Will GrahamWill Graham Loves Hannibal LecterPower Bottom Will Grahamthey love each other your honorvery meta
This was such a fun read – I love the implication that hannigram fanfiction exists and it's all there for Will to accidentally discover. I adore this author and just thoroughly enjoyed how Will learned a thing or two about himself by reading smutty fics (same dude).
Golden Promises by shotgun_sinner
Word Count: 68,488 Summary: Hannibal (TV) Season/Series 01Alternate Universe - Canon DivergenceEpisode: s01e07 SorbetHallucinations?Will Hopes SoLELOplugSexuality CrisisThat Ends Up Not Being A CrisisWill Graham Has EncephalitisHannibal Gets Will TreatmentDeveloping RelationshipWill Graham's Dogs - FreeformBonding over fooddoting hannibalEventual SmutHannibal Lecter Loves Will GrahamWill Graham Loves Hannibal LecterAlana DisapprovesRimmingOral SexBottom Hannibal LecterTop Will GrahamBottom Will GrahamTop Hannibal LecterWill Graham KnowsNon-Consensual Drug UseWill Gives Him Shit For ItMurder HusbandsCannibalismis that tag even necessary?Hannibal Lecter Loves Max
This was fluffier than I typically read, but I told y'all I love this author. Pretty much no angst, and the smut, as always, was next level. Also, the idea that Hannibal would wear a solid gold butt plug to his dinner parties had me laughing before I even started reading.
What Hatches by HotMolasses (@snazzymolasses here on tumblr)
Word Count: 107,847 Summary: There is a village, nestled on the edge of an ancient forest where it is always winter. Few of the townsfolk ever venture into it, except for one lonely hunter named Will Graham. A loner who makes his living selling stag meat and spends more time with dogs than people, he finds his life changing when he comes face-to-face with a magical beast, one that he cannot get away from, and isn’t even sure he really wants to.
What started out as a curiosity about the monsterfucking tag on AO3 brought me to one of the most unique and interesting hannigram AUs I've read??? I'm as surprised as you are, if not more. I adored this fic and I loved how both Will and Hannibal were characterized and the plot and the smut (oh my god, the smut) and the ending? Phew. Go read this.
lay like a flood spills away by bleakmidwinter
Word Count: 35,733 Summary: Will starts going to a nude beach that happens to be for gay men, even though he considers himself straight.
This was highly enjoyable. I LOVE AUs that manage to keep the characters true to canon. Also nude beaches. Hannigram and nude beaches. Eating ass and public sex with some actual plot sprinkled in. Say LESS.
Now, What Should We Do Next? by HigherMagic
Word Count: 51,116 Summary: Kinktober 2018
Smut. All smut. I showed this fic to a friend who has literally never read fanfiction, let alone Hannigram, before and she is now hooked. So. Do with that what you will. And it's so clear that this author has actual, real-life experience with kink and it comes across so well! Bonus point: there is also an equally good sequel.
To Mend With Gold by beforethedawn, ConstructFairytales, Destinyawakened
Word Count: 98,863 Summary: Will and Hannibal have been living as a gay married couple for three years, but they haven't slept in the same room let alone the same bed. Will Graham has a reckoning, one way or another.
THIS WAS TENDER. Fluffy, angsty, smutty, I loved it. Molly showed up with Will's dogs and decided she wasn't going to turn them in, which was a little weird, but I really loved this fic. Just them learning how to be with each other. Also EXCELLENT marathon smut scenes. Like yesssss, of course they can each cum like three times in a row.
A Clutch at Balance by Deverauxs_Disease
Word Count: 25,466 Summary: When Will Graham storms into Hannibal's house muttering about kissing Alana Bloom, the good doctor makes Will an offer: Pretend to date Hannibal in order to prove to Alana that Will is not only stable but capable of being in a relationship. When Alana is convinced Will is the man of her dreams, Hannibal will step aside and Will can get his girl.
Y'all know I love fake dating that all of a sudden, whoops! Isn't so fake anymore! Sprinkle in some jealous and possessive Hanni and Will? I'm sold. Say less.
~
And that's a wrap on this month! See ya next time!!!
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stusbunker · 1 day
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Spotless: Dolce
Chapter Twenty One
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Featuring: Dean Winchester/Reader, Dean/Bela
Word Count: 1787
Warnings, etc: Mutual pining, minor backstory, they're idiots your honor, unbeta'd
A/N: Thank you all for your patience. Apart from being sick, I second and third and quintuple guessed myself on this chapter and then thoroughly ignored the difficult parts and just let them have a conversation on their own. That's it, it's just a phone call. xoxo Stu
Forgive me @lastactiontricia <3
Series Masterlist
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You stood in your kitchen staring at the food in the fridge. It wasn’t much, but you had options.You just hated them all at that moment. You closed the door and slogged over to the pantry. It was the Friday night after Dean’s birthday and you wanted nothing to do with your phone or work or anything social media related. 
So you had turned off your ringer and left it to charge. 
You grabbed a bag of microwave popcorn out of the box and ripped off the plastic wrap. It was a poor excuse for dinner, but it at least would tide you over while you decided what you actually wanted to eat. Then you poured yourself a glass of wine, a sweet white because you were not a snob about it. No matter how many trips to Napa people took you on, you really weren’t going to spend an arm and a leg on a bottle that you only half-heartedly appreciated.
Once it was ready, you took the puffed up bag of popcorn with you to the living room because what was the point of making another dish? And decidedly resorted to turning on the tv.
The thing about streaming shows is that even though your attention wavered, the consistency of the characters on the screen made you feel less alone. You got through six episodes before you realized you never made anything for dinner. And at that point, it was too late to start. You stomped around trying to remember where you left your phone only to find a missed call from Dean and a dozen random texts from other people.
You double checked you didn’t have any voicemails and scrolled down to order delivery. Once dinner was finally sorted, you poured yourself the last of the bottle of wine and called Dean back.
The phone rang in your ear as you sat in the corner of your couch, criss-cross applesauce while turning on the next episode on mute. He answered on the fourth ring.
“Trouble, hey!”
“You rang?” You took a sip. Wherever he was was loud, but you could hear him moving through the buzz of passing conversation and cutlery.
“Yeah, you got a minute?”
“The night is my oyster, what’s up?” You leaned forward and set your glass on the coffee table, stretching back and settling in for whatever fire you were going to have to put out next.
The sounds surrounding Dean ended abruptly and he exhaled. “Not much, just grabbing drinks with some people from the label with Bela. You know, schmoozing the uppity ups.”
“Oh— good luck with that.” You shifted onto one hip and hugged your knee. “Tell her she has to pick where we’re getting brunch because the place I wanted is closed for remodeling—- and that she’s paying.”
Dean huffed a laugh. “I’ll fucking cover it, okay? Anything else you need me to tell her? Cuz I could go back in there and just hand her the phone if you want—”
“Nope— no, sorry. It’s fine. You okay?” Something in his voice was setting off a proximity alarm in your head, not full blown panic mode, but enough to let you know something had appeared on the horizon. 
“Yeah, ‘m good. It’s just not my kind of thing—- Bela’s great at these things— I just stand there wishing I could be anywhere else.”
“I’m surprised you even showed up— especially with rehearsals starting Monday.” You grabbed your wine again, waiting Dean out.
“Gotta play nice— you said so,” Dean teased, you could hear the soft hum of his smugness before he shifted gears. “Listen— that whole thing with Cas and the birthday bus— and the whole day actually—”
“Are you really gonna start bitching about that now? Dean, it is so not the time— don’t you have someone’s ass to kiss?”
“What?! I’m not— would you let me finish?! Jesus. I was trying to thank you!--- Don’t know why, now, but yeah.”
You bit your lips and perked up, straightening your back and wagging your head a little back and forth. “Oh? By all means— continue.”
“Yeah, okay, smart ass.”
You cackled and let him stew a bit.
“It was seriously the best, okay? Like, top five of all time.” Dean switched ears and you tried not to squee with the idea of making him so happy he’d been thinking about it for days. That he had to call you to tell you— even as an excuse to escape a less than stellar social situation. Everything seemed to sparkle on your skin, but that could have been the Reisling. “And about dragging Cas out— that was an unexpected gift. So, yeah, thank you— for all your trouble.”
You groaned.
“Oh come on! That one wasn’t that bad.” Dean pretended to be affronted and you pretended to be annoyed.
“Sure.”
He sniggered. “It was good to see him. It’d been too damn long.”
“Seriously. We had lunch and just getting to hang out with him made everything better.”
“Yeah.” Dean was thinking and you let him.
The television was frozen on the prompt screen, judging you for still watching, but you ignored it. You finished your wine and looked at the last drops through the curved glass, distracted by the reflection of your empty living room.
“You think he’s doing alright? I mean— he’s got a freakin’ kid. That’s got to have been a total mindfuck— you know?”
Naturally, Dean was worried about how Cas was, not about harboring grudges or blaming him for the rift between them. At least not out loud.
“I cannot imagine— and luckily we don’t have to worry about anyone trying to pull that again.”
“Yeah, tell me about it. Fuckin’ Lisa, I almost forgot about that. That was like the first big thing you had to bury when you started.”
You sat up and climbed onto your knees, like getting taller would help make your point. “Oh, I know! God that was such an uphill battle, even when she pretended to play nice. I still get the heebie jeebies when I pass her yoga studio on the way to Charlie’s.”
Dean chuckled. “Man— the things we do for fame. We are paying you, right?”
“Last time I checked.”
“Okay, good, probably should be more though, especially with all the Bela stuff.”
“Dean— I make well over the industry standard percentage with you guys. Plus, you barely even charge me rent. I’m doing fine.”
“Whatever—- still, want you to know your hard work is appreciated.”
You settled back down and picked at the seam of your leggings. “That is the weirdest way you could have said thank you, I hope you know.”
“Fuck off— Thank you, okay? THANK YOU. Should I spell it out? Maybe say it in Spanish?”
“Claro.”
“Como se dice ‘bite me’, huh?”
“Muérdeme.”
“Uhhh—- yeah, not gonna try that one while I’m standing in an alley alone.”
You rolled your eyes. “You should probably go back inside. People are waiting on you.”
“They barely even looked up when I stepped away— Bela’d message me if it was a problem.”
“Deeeeeean.”
“Trouuubbbllllle,” the way his voice rumbled with your nickname made it hard to remember you were even wearing clothes.
You climbed off the couch and decided to put your glass in the dishwasher for something to do. He wasn’t going back into the restaurant, but he wasn’t exactly keeping you from anything either.
“Why’d you call if you were out anyway?”
“Heh— I called you to talk me into going through with it.”
Oops. “Well good job on getting there on your own.”
“I was already halfway to Bela’s anyway. Paps perked up real fast when we rolled up. Gonna have to switch out Baby for a rental one of these days. Don't like the way they hone in on her.”
You rolled your eyes. “Probably a good idea, especially if you need privacy.”
“Not really the point of this little arrangement is it?”
“Okay, but still, be safe.”
“With my car? Always.”
You smiled to yourself when there was a knock at your door.
“Somebody there?” You hadn’t realized he could hear it over the line.
“Just dinner.” You beelined through the living room, suddenly starving. You pinched your phone between your shoulder and your cheek as you unlocked the front door. 
“So, what? Just another night in for you? Lemme guess, messy bun and no bra, maybe some leggings?”
You made sure everything was in the bag where the driver left it and dragged it back to the kitchen for a plate. “Is this you asking me what I’m wearing?”
“Maybe.”
You stopped short, and had to lift the bag up onto the counter a second time to keep it from becoming one with the floor. “Ha, ha.”
“Come on, it’s not like I’m gonna do anything here. Just making conversation.”
You ground your teeth, anger spiking from this sudden turn into teasing. “Yeah, well, when it’s the closest thing to a come on I’ve had in months— it feels a little bit more than that.”
You feel the penny drop.
“Dry spell, huh? I was wondering about that.”
“Oh shut it. You’ve got a fairytale fake girlfriend and I’ve got a band to keep relevant, neither of us is really out there mingling.”
Dean cleared his throat. “You can take time off—- if you need, you know that right? Hell, find somebody’s discarded boyfriend backstage and burn off some steam or something. ‘S one of the perks of a tour.---- But take care of yourself first, alright?”
You look up at the ceiling at the rows of spotlights Dean installed, once upon a time, that framed the island and sighed. “I’m not discussing my sex life with you— like— ever again.”
“Come on, it’ll be fun. We’ll have a sleepover and braid Sam’s hair.”
You sputtered and then went back to dishing up your food.
“Muérdeme, Dean. Then we’d have to listen to all the kinky shit him and Madison are into, no thank you.”
“Touche.”
You heard Dean’s phone buzz with a notification. The metaphorical clock struck twelve.
“That’s Bela, isn’t it?”
“Yep. Okay, well, it’s been fun.”
You inhaled and sent him off, “go get ‘em, champ.” 
“Yeah, yeah. Thanks again for the birthday shenanigans. I’ll see you next week?”
“I’ll be at rehearsal, but I’ve got calls and stuff scheduled throughout the day.”
“Sounds good. Have a good one.”
“You too.”
Something lingered between you in the silence and before you could say something you’d regret, you finally ended the call. It almost felt like he was waiting you out, making sure not to be the one that hung up first.
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rookie98writes · 2 days
Text
How Could You? —Chapter 3—
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Part of the For Your Own Good Series Prev Chapter → Next Work
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Relationship: Hatake Kakashi x fem!Reader
Rating: General
Warnings: the angst continues! canon rewrite. self-ship coded; please see author's note on series page if you are unfamiliar with plot-significant characteristics of reader.
Word Count: 4.4k
Work Summary: After waking from Itachi's Mangekyo Sharingan attack, Kakashi finds there is still a lot of work to do; in rebuilding the village, restoring trust within his team, and in being honest with you. But will his efforts strengthen those bonds, or will everything only get worse?
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After a few more well-wishes to Naruto for a quick recovery, you made a half-hearted excuse to take your leave. You just didn’t feel like you belonged there. Sakura had left after telling Naruto her intentions to come along in the future, and Lady Tsunade started looking over Naruto’s chart and giving him updates on the others from the mission, while he and Shikamaru told each other highlights of the fights they both endured after being separated. But they were all…smiling. Naruto was describing one of Orochimaru’s henchman—some guy who used his own bones as weapons—and he was smiling. Laughing. Joking.
He had been on the brink of death a few times from the sound of it. But he only smiled and became more resolute. Same with Sakura, and even Shikamaru. It just didn’t seem right. You’d always known that shinobi were essential for the safety of the village, but for these kids to be reacting like this? And then Kakashi’s complete dismissal of you was the cherry on top.
You ended up wandering the village. You didn’t think your father or Ayame would be of any comfort. Neither of them would be able to actually be able to offer any insight, or probably even understand where you were coming from. You tried to see Iruka, but he was out on a mission since the village was still overworked. Most likely, Shikamaru would be given another assignment soon, considering his injuries were minor. Kakashi might have already been sent back out if Shizune had been able to find him.
You were nearing the big tree in the village center when you heard someone shout.
“Y/N!” Gai ran over to you.
“Oh, hello Gai.”
“I just returned from a mission, and I was just about to get some delicious dumplings! Please, come join me! It will be my treat!”
“Oh…I’m not sure I’m such good company right now.”
“Nonsense! You're better company than anyone! Please, I insist.”
And insist, he did. While you knew that Gai would be the absolute last person to ever force you into a situation you weren’t comfortable with, he linked his arm with yours and led you toward the dumpling stand with so much speed, you were tripping over your own feet. But this might be the best option you hadn’t considered. With Iruka’s absence and Kakashi’s evasion, Gai would probably be a uniquely perfect sympathetic ear.
The restaurant wasn’t too crowded when you arrived, and Gai continued herding you until you sat down at a booth in the back corner. The man looked completely in his element, greeting both the waitress and chef by name and placing an intimidatingly large order without even glancing at the menu. You were about to skim through to find something befitting your ruined appetite, but the taijutsu master plucked your menu from your hands and gave it to the waitress without a thought.
“Don’t worry,” he smiled. “Those combination platters I ordered cover every single type they serve here! Today, we feast!”
His enthusiasm was pretty infectious. As heavily as everything was still weighing on your mind, you couldn’t help but smile along with Gai while the waitress came by and gave you each a glass of water and a tea.
“Ah, there’s that springtime smile!” Gai took a full sip of his beverage before slamming it down on the table with his standard level of gusto. “Now, Y/N, tell me. Why would you ever say you aren’t good company?”
“Well,” you started tentatively, using one finger to draw a meaningless pattern in the condensation on your glass and avoiding eye contact. “Kakashi and I kind of had a fight.”
“Ah, Kakashi,” Gai sighed. “Sometimes my rival’s blood runs too hot for his own good.”
“It’s a little more complicated than that.” You took a sip of tea to collect your thoughts. It wasn’t easy to summarize everything that had happened, since Gai didn’t even really know the entirety of the mission to recover Sasuke. But you did the best you could, starting with Sasuke leaving in the middle of the night and all the events that happened as a result: the five-man recovery squad, Kakashi running after them, the state of everyone when they finally made it back to the village.
Gai’s order started coming out of the kitchen, but the man didn’t take his attention off you as you got to the immediate issue: Kakashi suddenly turning ice-cold, telling you all those heart-breaking things. You couldn’t maintain eye contact, but the array of dumplings was a great distraction. Turned out, you were hungrier than you realized, the smells of the food making your mouth water as you spoke.
“Eat something,” Gai encouraged you, “please.”
You smiled gratefully and gathered a few different types on your plate. “Thank you, Gai.”
“Anything for my rival’s beautiful and passionate girlfriend,” he beamed and popped a dumpling in his mouth. His face went through a range of emotion; bliss at the flavor of the food, then empathetic as he remembered what you’d been saying. He swallowed the full bite heavily. “I know how Kakashi can be,” he started. “Please, allow me to apologize for his actions!”
You shook your head. “I’m not upset with him; I’m worried about him,” you explained. “He’s blaming himself for what happened with Naruto and Sasuke. He acted like he had just abandoned them, when nothing could be further from the truth.”
“He has always put the full pressure on himself,” Gai agreed, “even when we were children.”
“I just hate how hard it is on everyone.” You ate another dumpling to try and squash the despair rising in your chest, but it wasn’t quite enough. “I saw Naruto before I left the hospital. And he’s just so determined to go back out there after Sasuke as soon as he’s healed. He’s so upset with himself, that he couldn’t get Sasuke to come home. And those other boys who went with him. Shikamaru is upset that his mission failed, and Sakura is a wreck even though she’s trying to hide it. And Kakashi…”
“He lashed out,” Gai nodded solemnly, a knowing look in his eye like he had been in your shoes many times.
“He said I have no idea what it means to be a shinobi, and after seeing those kids, I’m starting to wonder if he’s right.”
Gai sat thoughtfully for a minute, taking a sip of his tea before he stared at you meaningfully. “It’s true that Kakashi is right more often than he’s wrong,” Gai grinned. “But in this case, he’s undeniably mistaken. With your compassion, you have everything it takes to understand what it means to be a shinobi.” His look was just as compassionate as he claimed you to be. “Kakashi will realize that soon. Otherwise, people will start to say that I’m the smart one.”
You laughed despite yourself, finally feeling the weight lift from your heart. “I love him so much. And I don’t know how to help him. He says he wants to be alone and I can understand that but…I don’t want him to think that he really is alone, you know?”
Tears gathered in Gai’s eyes as he beamed a giant smile in your direction. “So beautiful,” he wailed, the tears beginning to fall and soak into the dumplings on his plate. “Kakashi is so lucky to have you, someone who cares so deeply for him and understands him. I truly believe that you are the perfect match for him.” He snatched you into a tight hug and you could feel the river of grateful tears flooding your shoulder.
His outburst distracted the majority of the restaurant, and even though they weren’t particularly busy, you felt heat in your cheeks as you noticed all the attention on you. “Th-thanks Gai,” you stuttered.
Gai leaned off of you, looking slightly chagrined. “I apologize. It just fills my heart with so much happiness to see how passionately you feel for my best friend and eternal rival!”
You couldn’t help but smile at the exuberant shinobi. Even Kakashi’s detached tone as he spoke of his friend couldn’t disguise the effect that Gai had on him or the fondness they had for one another. You had to admit that it moved you.
“Well, I’m just glad he’s had you all this time.”
Fresh tears welled in Gai’s eyes, but he forced them back. “Like I said, I know how Kakashi can be. But that just means I also know why he can be like that. And I have seen so many people give up on him.” He put his hand on your shoulder, absolutely beaming at you. “It makes me very happy that you are different.”
He ate another dumpling and you smiled. “Thanks for bringing me here, Gai. You and I should spend more time together.”
“ABSOLUTELY!” he pulled you into another hug, nearly knocking the wind from your chest as you laughed.
The rest of the meal just continued to lift your spirits, you and Gai sharing easy conversation and funny stories with one another as more and more of the feast of dumplings disappeared. You shouldn’t have been surprised, but Gai attacked the platters with the same level of enthusiasm as he did everything. Before long, you were both reaching your limits (although you suspected he would happily eat twice as much if this were one of his rival contests).
Gai excused himself to take care of the bill, waving away your offer of ryō so quickly you were worried his wrist might snap. As you waited for him to return to the table, you overheard the conversation of two men sitting a few tables down.
“Did you hear?” one asked his friend. “Sasuke Uchiha abandoned the village to join up with Orochimaru. And that kid Naruto nearly died trying to bring him back!”
Your posture stiffened at their topic. The man spoke so casually, it churned the partially-digested dumplings in your stomach.
“Man, I get that they don’t have any parents, but someone oughta take responsibility for them. Don’t they have a sensei or something?” the friend responded.
The guy scoffed. “Hatake?”
“Hmph, that explains it. Cold-Blooded Kakashi strikes again.”
“Ha, he ran out of friends, so now instead of Friend-Killer, I guess he’s Kid-Killer Kakashi!”
“HEY.” The exclamation was out of your throat before you even had a chance to think about it. But you wouldn’t have taken it back even if you had the chance.
The men both looked unimpressed by your interruption. “What?”
“Don’t talk about him like that.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Kakashi Hatake. You don’t know him at all. So get his name out of your mouths.”
The men shared an amused look, like they were speaking to a child. “Excuse me?” the first man asked, turning back to you and resting his chin on his palm.
“Kakashi isn’t cold-blooded. He was out of the village on a mission when Orochimaru lured Sasuke out of the village, and Naruto was gone before Kakashi got back. But he didn’t waste a second before going after them, even though he had just been through hell. So how dare you talk about him like that? Just who the hell do you think you are?!”
“Us?” the guy laughed. “Who’re you, Hatake’s cheerleader?”
“I said…get his name out of your disgusting mouth.”
“Hey now, what gives you the right to make assumptions about my mouth?” the man sneered, leaning closer and meeting your challenge. “You haven’t been properly acquainted with it.”
“That’s enough!” Gai bellowed, appearing out of nowhere and diving between you and the man to create a human barrier. “Y/N, you don’t have to listen to this.”
“Now hold on, she and I were having a conversation. I’m just dying to know why someone like her would bother defending that worthless—"
You launched yourself at the man before you even considered the consequences. Thankfully, Gai’s superhuman reflexes caught you before you were able to make any contact and likely hurt only yourself. And even better, you surprised both of the jerks enough that they finally shut up.
Gai set you back on your feet and gave you a quick look to either warn or ask you not to try something like that again. It really shocked you how quickly Gai could switch from carefree to serious without losing a hint of credibility. Quickly coming back to your senses, you folded your hands behind your back and looked at the floor.
“Now,” Gai began, looking back at the men at the table. “Simply apologize to my friend, and we’ll be on our way.”
“Why should I apologize?” the man scoffed. “She’s the one who jumped into our conversation, then got all hysterical. The way I see it, she oughta apologize.”
Like hell I’ll apologize. Gai must have felt the way you bristled behind him, reaching back and placing his hand on your arm to ground you. “Don’t worry about these guys, Y/N. They aren’t worth it. Let’s go.”
He waited to allow you to leave first, keeping himself between you and those assholes in case either side started up again. The men must have realized who they were dealing with and decided to leave well enough alone, keeping quiet. You did offer the workers of the restaurant a genuine apology as you passed them, but they waved it away as though you hadn’t caused a scene. Still, as you made your way back to the center of the village, you felt that one more apology was necessary.
“I’m sorry Gai. I should have controlled myself better back there. I’m not even really sure what came over me.”
“I know exactly what came over you,” he beamed with pride. “All of the hot-blooded feelings you have for Kakashi sent you rushing to his defense, and it was a joy to see. But to ensure your safety, I had to put a stop to it.”
“You were right to.” You smiled and hugged him. “I think I’m going to head home. Get my adrenaline back to normal. I’m not sure how shinobi keep this up all the time,” you laughed.
Gai responded with a loud guffaw and a clap on your back. “Thank you again for your company today!”
This time, you pulled him into the hug. “Thanks for everything.”
 ⁂
Obito…
Kakashi’s hair hung limp in his face as he stared at the Memorial Stone. His feet were planted in a spot so familiar, he could feel the indents of his sandals in the earth. Proof of how often he had to admit his shortcomings.
“I’m sorry, Obito.” Kakashi spoke evenly and quietly. “I’m no better of a jōnin than I was when I let you down. And now, I’ve let down the last member of your clan.” His breath hitched. “Obito, I let down everyone. I still haven’t learned how to protect my comrades. I’m still…I’m still losing them. I’ve lost my entire team. Again.”
Kakashi’s hands trembled at his sides. “I thought things would be different. I thought I could live up to what you said. I tried…I tried to teach them the same lessons you taught me. The way that Minato-sensei taught us. My students remind me so much of our team. I should have known exactly what they needed. But I failed as a sensei. I wasn’t cut out to teach them. I couldn’t even recognize that Naruto and Sasuke were on the brink of killing each other. I was…”
Naïve. Distracted. In love.
“I was happy, Obito.” The honesty opened a chasm in his chest. “I should have known it couldn’t last. But I didn’t, and it cost those kids everything.”
That. That was the crux of it.
Kakashi had made peace with the fact that you were too good for him, and his time with you would certainly not be endless. He had been prepared to be with you for as long as you wanted him. But it had gotten to the point where he needed to make that call for you. If he had accepted the truth sooner, stopped delaying the inevitable, maybe he could have prevented what happened to his team.
If he had just let you go, been less selfish, put all his focus on his students…this visit to the Memorial Stone could have been completely different.
“RIVAL!”
Not now…
Kakashi turned to see Gai walking up to him with that big, stupid smile he always had. Kakashi aimed his most withering stare at his rival, but Gai chose to take no notice, walking up as though Kakashi had invited him.
“What is it, Gai?”
“I had a feeling I would find you here, Kakashi.”
“…Is there a problem?”
“No, not at all. But I heard what happened. And I just wanted to check on you, see if there was anything I could do to help.”
Unless you know where Orochimaru is—where Sasuke is—what help could you possibly be?
“Also, I ran into Y/N in town.”
Every one of his nerves lit up at your name. “Y/N?”
“She was upset, Kakashi.” Gai softly chastised him. “I know that what you’re going through is horrible. But please, don’t take it out on her.”
I never wanted to, he mentally defended himself. But I had to.
“What’s done is done, Gai,” Kakashi answered. “It’s over between us.”
Gai seemed confused. “You…broke up with her?”
“Well, no,” he admitted. I couldn’t force myself to do it. “But I did pick a fight. And after the way I spoke to her, she would be justified in cursing my name.”
Gai started laughing. Kakashi looked at him with fury in his eye, but Gai held up a hand to beg his friend and rival to show mercy. “I’m sorry Kakashi. I don’t mean to laugh. But actually, it’s quite the opposite.”
“What?”
“When I found Y/N, I could tell she was upset, and I invited her to lunch. While we were preparing to leave, she overheard an off-color comment about you. And Kakashi, she went up to the men and responded with a white-hot youthful outrage that I didn’t think someone of her stature would be able to produce! Defending you with the passion and conviction of a woman who’s witnessed her lover hang the stars themselves!”
What the hell is she doing? Kakashi was torn. The idea that you felt strongly enough to defend him tugged his heart in all different directions. Whoever this was that you overheard, Kakashi was sure this would just be the start of it. He had understood the importance of being entrusted as the mentor to the last surviving Uchiha and the nine-tailed fox jinchūriki, and although he could think of a hundred reasons why he wasn’t fit for the job, he had agreed to the Third Hokage’s request, only to fail even more spectacularly than he could have imagined.
Soon, the entire village would be saying all the same things. He would never ask or expect you to take on that animosity. It terrified him. But more than that, it angered him. Infuriated him; that you would be subjected to such hostility—that people would direct even a small portion of that disdain toward you—because you still cared for him, despite the terrible things he had done.
Well then. The answer was simple.
If the problem was that you cared about him…he would make you stop.
“Kakashi?” Gai addressed him, pulling him from his thoughts. “What’s wrong?”
“She shouldn’t have done that,” Kakashi responded, his voice low and simmering.
“Rival, she—”
“I don’t want her to do that.”
Gai blinked a few times before softening his expression. “She loves you, Kakashi.”
“She shouldn’t do that either,” he snapped. “I don’t wa—”
“RIVAL.” Gai cut him off. “Don’t you dare say you don’t want her to love you. I won’t allow you to lie to me.”
Kakashi looked again at the memorial stone. His eye locked onto Obito’s name automatically. His old teammate, now only an etching on this monument, because of mistakes Kakashi had made and could never take back.
“I told her I love her…right before I left for that mission.”
Gai’s voice softened. “Kakashi, that’s wonderf—”
“No. It isn’t,” he argued. “Everything fell apart after that. Things I should have been able to prevent. I don’t want her to be dragged down by my mistakes.”
“Well, she—”
He faced his friend with venom in his uncovered eye. “I won’t let her.”
Kakashi ran, leaving Gai and Obito behind. He could hear Gai’s objections, but he wasn’t about to turn back and give his irresponsibly goofy friend the opportunity to try and change his mind.
He heaved a sigh of frustration. Why were you making this even more difficult than it already was? He had been an absolute jerk to you back in the hospital. He had taken your offers of help and reassurance and thrown them back in your face. When you’d heard whatever grievances the man at the dumpling shop had, you should have joined right in.
Not that the thought of you striking up a conversation with a new man didn’t turn Kakashi’s stomach inside out. His feet skidded on the ground. It had been hard enough accepting that you wouldn’t be his anymore, but he hadn’t considered that there would be nothing stopping you from giving yourself to someone else. Could he honestly stand it if he saw you hand in hand with someone new? Smiling that perfect smile at some other man?
A selfish instinct kept him perfectly still. Maybe he should change his mind. Maybe this was his chance to take it all back. He could just apologize, and you would stay by his side, offering him all your love without question. Sure, the rest of the village would still hate him. But he could keep you.
And then everyone would turn on you, as well.
No. This was the only way he could protect you, and that was what he wanted more than anything. He just hated that that meant he had to be even more cruel. It was sadistic, that protecting you meant hurting you. But it had to be done.
He couldn’t be selfish. He’d already had far more of you than he deserved to have. He would do it quickly; hurt you one last time, so he couldn’t hurt you any more in the future.
With his mind set in stone, Kakashi was able to track you down easily. You were just walking through the park, seeming a bit listless in the way you moved.
“Y/N.”
You whipped around at the sound of his voice. “Kakashi! H-hi.”
The look on your face could have broken his heart all over again. You were surprised to see him, but more than that, you looked happy. Hopeful, like you thought he had sought you out to take everything back.
And here he was, getting ready to hurt you all over again.
“I need to talk to you.”
A tremor ran through his body when he saw the soft, secure look in your eyes. You nodded and willingly stepped closer to him, blind to the fact that he was a danger to you. Like he wasn’t a threatening, cold-blooded monster.
Wordlessly, he quickly guided you to his apartment. It was close and private. Not to mention he wouldn’t invite himself into your home, especially under these pretenses.
As soon as he whisked you inside, he shut the door to block out the unnecessary hatred and negativity that nipped at his heels. He was about to create enough of that himself; he surely didn’t need help from the rest of the village. Kakashi refused to turn and look at you, frustrated by what he had to do.
“So…” You blinked a little nervously as he failed to speak. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
He sighed, letting his head fall against the door. “Gai told me what happened. In the dumpling shop.”
“Oh,” you blushed at the memory. “I—”
Abruptly, he turned to face you, cutting you off before you had a chance to continue. “Don’t do anything like that again.”
“I…I’m sorry…” you stammered, taken back by his tone. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
“That’s not—” His fingers curled into tight fists before he pushed his hitai-ate up and pulled his mask to his neck. “Just…stay out of it, Y/N.”
“But…” The look on your face went firm and defensive. “Kakashi, he said that you—”
“I don’t care what he said.”
“I do care!”
“Well don’t!” he thundered. Your mouth dropped open, stunned that the two of you were falling into an argument again. “You shouldn’t have done anything, Y/N. I don’t need your help, and I don’t need your pity. So just leave it alone.”
“It isn’t pity, you—”
“Stop.” He could feel the way his stare was wearing you down. “Stop defending me, stop taking my side.” It hurt like a blade, inwardly acknowledging everything else that you would stop. Stop loving me. “Just stop.”
You held eye contact for longer than he would have expected of anyone else, but he knew just how persistent you could be. “Why?” The question escaped your mouth on a shaky exhale. “Why wouldn’t I take your side when you’ve done nothing wrong?”
Kakashi turned back to the door, hiding the pain that was threatening to show through the cracks. “That was all I had to say,” he finished, opening the door to let you walk out of his life forever.
��Kakashi…” You walked up to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He refused to turn, wishing to just block out your words. “What are you doing? Please, talk to me.”
“There’s nothing else to talk about. You should leave.”
“I know that you feel guilty for what happened to Sasuke and Naruto. And I know I can’t understand it but…can’t we just talk about it? I don’t expect to resolve everything tonight, but I don’t want to leave you like this again.”
He had to say it. It was for your own good, and you weren’t going to give him a choice. He had used all his usual tricks on you; acted as immature as the arrogant child he used to be; the reason people saw him as cold-blooded. But you were refusing to see him that way. So he looked away, and said the only thing you couldn’t misinterpret, no matter how badly he wanted you to.
“I’m telling you to leave me, Y/N. For good.”
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headaching · 10 months
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*guy who hasn’t posted in 8 weeks voice* um. hi for the love of god hello
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pepprs · 6 months
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hi im going to leave chicago in a few hours. i don’t want to come home
#purrs#chicago#this trip has been so. SO healing for me. indescribably. and im terrified to lose it when i come back to my home environments and spend#every day going back and forth between home and campus. i know now that i need to do independent things and i#CAN do independent things and i always could. what i don’t know how to do is take that knowledge and apply it to my life at home such that#end up moving out and living by myself asap LOLLLLLL#i have spent so much time wandering. wandered to the art insitute of chicago. wandered on all levels and sides of the riverwalk. wandered#onto the navy pier by COMPLETE accident and it was the first pier ive been on since br!ghton and they had carnival rides and everything and#it started to heal a part of me that was still broken. i don’t know how i can go home now when there’s so much still to explore. i am#terrified to lose this. i haven’t been consumed by depression or anxiety for like 4 days and it has been the biggest hugest breath of fresh#air and i just am so scared to go back to suffocating with no escape in sight until my next conference in june LOL#* i wandered by myself btw. completely alone and only sometimes surrounded by people. and it was so important for me#also like… this was my first time EVER walking in a city all by myself and riding in ubers etc etc. i was so scared remember? but now i am#confident and strong. after 4 days. and i know going home is going to drain me but nothing can ever take this experience away from me.#i can do it. i COULD do it all along. and i will do it again.
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pussy-ache · 8 months
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thinking about how my sister just got engaged at 27 to her first boyfriend ever and i just don’t have a good feeling about it
#i mean i’m not talking to her right now lmao. i did not even say congrats#but i’m still her older sister and i don’t believe she really has experienced enough of the world and of love itself to be tied down#at least in that way — technically speaking she’s already ‘’tied down’’ being in a long term committed relationship#but like. i know she thinks my mom had us when she was ‘’too old’’#my mom had me at 35 and my sister at 38#my sister criticizes my mother for that and has made comments throughout the years about how her friends mothers are all so much younger#meanwhile my mother lived an EXPANSIVE life in hers 20s and early 30s#she went out outward bound trips with hippy dippy granola eating fucks and camped out for months on end#she jumped out of planes and paraglided and rode motorcycles#she was a huge pothead and spent so much time at the beach studying tide pools and looking for horseshoe crabs#she even metal detected after storms to see if she could find unique lost beautiful jewelery and other items that were lost at sea#she was a PERSON and without those experiences would NOT have been our mother#i’ve explained this to my sister dozens of times over — your opinion of our moms age is based upon you not seeing her as a PERSON w/ a LIFE#and she does not care. she still believes my mom was ‘’too old’’ which is a ridiculous argument because having kids in your 30s is NOT. OLD#like even outside of my opinion of our moms life. my sister is literally just wrong across the board because 30s is NORMAL#she frustrates me to no end because our ‘’differences of opinion’’ are actually REALLY big differences like. stop dehumanizing our mom….?#so truly. honestly. this is just a big push to ‘’not end up like’’ our mom so she’s getting married earlier and will have kids earlier#now in my own right i don’t want to ‘’end up like’’ my mom either — ie in a marriage that is unfulfilling with a man who bosses her around#but the difference between her opinion of ‘’not ending up’’ like her is she blame MOM for everything#meanwhile in MY example i blame my father for being a piece of shit to our mother and vowed i would never be in that situation myself period#but that’s not putting blame on my mother. that’s me seeing my mother as a VICTIM of injustice and misogyny#meanwhile my sister just sees my moms decisions as a ‘’problem’’ to be ‘’fixed’’#meanwhile i am consistently reminding myself that while my mother loves her children very much…#she inherently had to LOSE herself in order to have us and fashion a new version of herself - the ‘’mom’’ version to replace her real self#my sister doesn’t care to talk to our mom about the intricacies that come with all of this. i do. quite often actually.#my moms rule was that she was not getting married before 30. period.#the first thing i said when my mom told me my sister was engaged was#‘’i don’t even believe someone should get married period. but especially not before 30’’#she agreed. because she TAUGHT us that! she TAUGHT us the importance of finding yourself before anything else#but my sister in her race to ‘’not be like’’ our mom is missing out on turning into a wonderful person for it?
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cannot-copia · 1 year
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this year so far
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#tw death#once again saying things into the void on here bc i dont know where else to say it#went on a trip for a couple days for my moms birthday a couple weeks ago now#they called to tell us my dads dialysis had pretty much stopped working shortly after we were got there#insurance gave us 4 days notice to find somewhere for him to go (2 of which we were 1200 miles from home)#also was told by the place I work at i am not needed until further notice the same day#so I have no source of income until they get the necessary machine fixed and even then I am skeptical they will say to come back#since dialysis stopped working he had to be moved to hospice#which was a week ago now#so he has very little time left#my half brother and his wife came to visit him a couple days ago#now his brother is here from another state#and we took them to eat at the place they’ve always gone when they are here for as long as I can remember#on the way there we were told my grandmother was taken to the hospital in an ambulance#they don’t know what is wrong with her yet but she is 94 so her being not ok either is very plausible#we are only like 3 weeks into the year and I’ve already been soft laid off my grandmother could be dying and my dad is dying#I feel like I have been seconds away from having a complete panic attack for a week#packing up and cleaning out the assisted living (he only ended up being at 3 months) felt so wrong#it was his coffee mug and green cup of all things that got to me most#he always had them#and knowing he would never use them again#I bought his dog a new name tag today#so it has a tag when we give it to them to put in the casket with him#and i almost cried in a fucking petsmart#and now I’m here over sharing on the internet about it bc if I do not keep myself distracted I will just get more nauseous and cry more#delete later
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munamania · 11 months
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i mean it’s just kinda crazy cause. and forgive me if i sound somewhat spoiled here but. this trip im doing to take more credits and get experience and make connections etc is obviously expensive and i talked abt it with my parents. a lot before trying to do it. and somehow my dad didn’t understand that yk we would have to pay for it. ??? and is putting me in this spot of ‘figuring out what we’re gonna do about it’ and it’s like dude. i mean i’m going i paid for my fucking flights you know i’m. regardless i’ll be there. and i make $10/hr i have not been able to work consistently and when you don’t have thousands and thousands of dollars just sitting there accumulating more interest it doesn’t fucking last. like what exactly do you want me to say? i’ll drain all my accounts and give what little i have to you? tldr my main point here is the only way this man truly shows any kind of affection is through money and since he fucked me up im glad to take advantage of that lol like why wouldn’t i. so to have it thrown back in my face is just um an awful feeling. like im not even worth this to you. this is just too much. it truly does feel like someone put a number on love and im just not up there
#it’s not like we ever took trips or vacations or had super nice things or even. you know. like fucking furniture#and to be clear even when he does help me out with stuff it’s held over my head so it’s truly not even a good way of showing. love.#if you want to say that. like of course i’m grateful that i haven’t had to struggle to make ends meet in the way many people do because i#have his money and i’m not trying to pretend i don’t but like. i’ve also had fucking anxiety attacks thinking about spending money and#basically how much i would owe him for my whole life. like how do i buy myself out of obligation here.#and i never could rn i don’t have Money money#but he truly pulls the same shit he does on my mom like ‘well where does it all go???’#dad. i don’t have piles of money sitting around. oh i made 2000 at my summer job? wowzers incredible that goes so fucking fast#when i’ve had to pay to break my lease and something else for school and bills and groceries#and yeah ok let’s not pretend i don’t sometimes go out with people. and everything’s so expensive now. but even so i have a heart attack#any time i spend more than like 20 dollars so. i usually don’t.#it’s just sooo… 😵‍💫 like. damn yeah i do wish i had parents that just Took Care of things and i didn’t have to worry. but it’s like. i do ta#money from him and then i’m just expected to grovel forever and ever#which is why i do need to be more financially independent from him i literally can’t wait for that day i need to make actual money at some#point but i am just not someone who can work full time and go to school and the only way i qualify for my scholarships is if i go full time#and graduate on time so. here we are 👍#abby talks#aaaaand post. lmfao
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milo-is-rambling · 1 year
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Someone tell me how to make me not hate myself and make my family not think I’m a bitch and make me want to see my family or drive back down the coast or stay in strange places or do anything other than kill myself I mean whaaatttt haha what a weird thing to say *stares directly into the camera knowingly*
#and don’t say take your medication#fuck. my moms sitting here like I was under the impression you had this all figured out and I’m like well I was under the impression you#we’re going to fucking sit down with me and help me book a room for the last night of driving bc I can’t book and I have to find somewhere#between like three states that will let me check into a hotel room bc if I get somewhere and they don’t let me stay I’m fucked and have no#where to go or sleep bc I can’t sleep in the car on the way back bc my car is packed to the FUCKING top with my brothers shit fuck fuck fuck#fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck#it’s just like being a kid I can hear my family making fun of me for my emotions in the next room over FUCK I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE T#THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS#I think I’m having caffeine nic and med withdrawals at the same time while pmsing#AND WHILE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT A PLAN FOR DRIVING BACK DOWN#I think I’m the biggest bitch on the planet rn#i was listening to father by tfb in the car and there’s a line about something about falling asleep while you drive and I apparently sang iy#with a lot of passion bc my brother said ‘please don’t’ and that was literally the first time anyone has called me on my recent musicchoices#but it really has all been like I need to go anywhere but where I am right now and I need to die far away and that’s it#no more starting over no more self hatred no more family shit I just need to stop#I want to hire someone to drive my brothers shit down to Florida and then I want to kill myself in New England#Anyways. I’m gonna go try to eat something and take my meds and then move stuff around in the car and also try to get a room somewhere by#the end of my trip and I don’t have much time at all and I need to kill everyone and then myself now now now now now now now now now now now#every time I move my body the entire world spins and idk if it’s anxiety or med withdrawals or being tired or what but I am losing it and I#feel like I don’t have it in me to drive any fucking more this trip and the way back is only just beginning#and in less than hour were supposed to check out of this hotel and go to my aunts for a big family celebration of my brothers graduation and#Mother’s Day and I’m going to see all my family who still has a fucking father and I want to be fucking dead I hate all of this I hate it#I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it
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gender-euphowrya · 2 years
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grandma gets to tell me how she wants to die and she’s sad and she’s so full of trauma every fucking day on our scheduled phone call and i’m supposed to be like okay :) it’s fine :) i will go on as if nothing happened because life’s great for me woohoo!!! :) about it but the One Time i express any kind of not positive emotion in front of her she’s gotta make it a whole thing about how much it hurt HER and act like i’ve ruined her entire life and i’m just so so mean and awful for daring to show her anything but happiness on my face
#i love her and i know she can do better#the problem is she doesn’t#like fam I ME MYSELF was the one in pain#(which was your fault because lol you are misgendering me 24/7 girl i asked nicely)#you don’t get to take my little victim hat off my head and wear it like it’s a fun costume#like oh you’re feeling bad ? well i’m feeling WORSE pity me pity me i’m the real poor meow meow here#screw all the pain i’ve caused you i’ll just guilt trip you into forgiving me because wah weh#i’m all alone i have nobody everyone hates me my life is horrible i had a rough past#I GET IT I AM NOT DENYING THAT THIS WOMAN IS IN PAIN#AND HAS BEEN FOR A WAY TOO LONG TIME#BUT ME EXPRESSING -MY- PAIN IS NOT AN INVITATION FOR HER TO FLAUNT HERS#I’M GONNA ACT LIKE EVERYTHING’S FINE#AND IF SHE WANTS TO FEEL SORRY FOR HERSELF THAT IS HER PROBLEM NOT MINE !!!!!#YEARS. SHE SPENT YEARS SAYING SHE WISHED MY DEPRESSION WOULD END AND OH#HOW SHE WOULD BE READY TO DO ANYTHING TO HELP ME HOW SHE WOULD GO TO OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD FOR MY SAKE#I ASK HER ONE FUCKING THING THAT CAN WILL AND DOES HELP ME FEEL BETTER#DO NOT CALL ME BY MY DEADNAME DO NOT CALL ME SHE OR HER#MAKE THAT TINY CHANGE IN YOUR VOCABULARY. THAT IS IT.#SHE’S NOT FUCKING DOING IT. I’M NOT ASKING FOR MUCH HERE. SHE’S NOT TRYING.#SO IF SHE ISN’T THEN WHY SHOULD I#I AM DONE WITH THIS I WAS DONE WITH THIS WITH ALWAYS MAKING MYSELF LITTLE#ALWAYS PUTTING OTHERS BEFORE ME ALWAYS ACTING LIKE I WAS FINE SO AS TO NOT INCONVENIENCE#THIS IS OVER ! THIS IS NOT WHO I AM ANYMORE ! I DESERVE MY PLACE AND I WILL TAKE IT.#YOU FEEL BAD ? THEN FEEL BAD. YOU SHOULD. YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD ABOUT MAKING ME FEEL BAD.#THE COURSE OF ACTION TO TAKE ISN’T TO CONTINUE WALLOWING IN DESPAIR. IT’S TO STOP MAKING ME AND CONSEQUENTLY YOURSELF FEEL BAD.#MY NAME IS DAN I’M YOUR GRANDSON GET THE FUCK OVER IT I’M NOT FUCKING DEAD
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teruthecreator · 11 months
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MAN -__-
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rafeysdoll · 13 days
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rafe picking you up from a night out with your friends after you’ve had a bit too much to drink
ohhhh this is so so rafe coded hehe thank u for requesting i hope u like it <3 there is dad calling!! there is a also slight size difference mentioned here i think? i made reader more tipsy than drunk since it does get a bit heated towards the end lol but rafe still calls it “drunk”
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you whimper, rafe walking you outside the bar after you said your goodbyes, practically tripping over your pink platforms. “rafey, slow down!” you cry, the taste of the fruity beverage that got you tipsy still lingering in your mouth.
“want you to carry me,” you hiccup, looking up at him with a faux pout. “my feet hurt.”
“w-well maybe they wouldn’t hurt if.. if you didn’t wear like 10 inch heels,” he exaggerates, still opening his arms for you despite his words. “mm, yeahh but these look so cute!” you giggle, quickly wrapping your arms around his neck and ignoring his ‘annoyance’
“want you to carry me bridal style, daddy. cause.. cause im gonna be your bride one day, right?” you mumble, batting your eyelashes. “gonna give me a baby and.. and a ring and we’ll live.. happily ever after,” you continue softly, heart on your sleeve — so casually talking about your dream.
“course i will doll, in due time.” he promises, slowly lifting you up with no struggle, his handling making your core heat up— one arm underneath your knees and the other on your back. “daddy,” you mewl, heavy shoes dangling. “‘m horny,” you sigh, no shame at how you crave him.
he shakes his head with a small laugh, “you horny baby? what did it for you huh? thinking about the future? being a wife and getting knocked up?”
you whine, nodding. “mhm, you know that’s what i want. wanna be your house wife.. want to have your babies,” you agree, lips formed into a frown. “wanna be full, want you to fuck me.”
“yea, well dad can’t do that right now.. gotta be patient. you’re drunk,” he states in his common, ‘know it all’ tone. “mhm.. mhm.. but i don’t careee, just.. just wanna have sex!” you cry a little louder, rafe’s big hand quickly covering your mouth, glittery lip gloss definitely smeared now.
“shhh, shh. not even in the truck yet and you wanna be talking dirty real loud like that— people.. people can.. hear you, y’know? be quiet.”
a muffled version of “i’m sorry,” leaves your lips, eyes filling with tears.
when he reaches the truck and sits you down, putting your seat belt on before starting to drive back to tannyhill you almost immediately start your whining all over again. “pay attention to me! ‘m right here you know!” you bite, stomping your foot against the car floor, clawing at his bicep.
“hey.. hey, watch it. know you’re drunk but cool it alright? i’m driving, you gotta sober up.” he warns, squeezing your thigh firmly.
you sniffle, grabbing his hand and leading it closer to your heat. “just.. rub a little please? and ‘m tipsy, not drunk!” you protest, laying your head on his arm. “i..i missed you, all the girls were getting upset cause i wouldn’t shut up about you.”
he smirks, that doing it for him and his ego— already feeling himself loosen up as he sneaks his hand in your skirt, rubbing lightly. almost like a reward for depending on him. “that right? can’t stop thinking about rafey even when you’re at girls night?” he mocks. “can’t stop thinking about dick?”
you nod, quickly relaxing against his fingers. “yeah, that’s what i thought. you gonna stay quiet? gonna listen now?”
“mhm.. mhm. course,” you hum, the rest of the car ride spent with rafe driving with one hand as you grind against his other.
thanks to the lovely @oceandriveab and @rafecameroninterlude for proofreading <3
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bimbobaggins69 · 8 months
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welcome to the dungeon…
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modern sex shop steddie x only fans reader
summary: it’s just your luck that the two men you planned to shoot a scene with canceled last minute. It’s also just your luck that your usual sex shop you frequent is closed, leaving you to make a thirty minute trip ending up in a town called Hawkins… it’s also just your luck that the two men behind the counter totally know who you are and might perhaps even be willing to shoot that scene with you?
warnings: smut ahead, 18+ mdni, fem reader, no use of y/n, mentions of weed, overuse of pet names, overuse of the word cock (not sorry), sex on camera, oral sex (male & fem receiving), rim job (male receiving), p in v sex & p in a sex (fem receiving), double dipping (don’t recommend), use of an anal plug, full nelson position, double penetration, daddy kink, squirting, cream pies, dom!eddie, switch!steve, sub!reader, flufffff.
authors note: absolutely no one asked for this, but I felt v compelled to write it. Thank you to my loves @take-everything-you-can, @corrodedcorpses and @xxhellfiregirlxx for beta reading, appreciate you all so so much <333.
wc: 9.4k
Part two | series masterlist
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Thirty minutes… your gps says the only other sex shop near you is thirty minutes away, in a town you’ve never even heard of before. Harkins or Hawkins, something like that?
Of course, if anything could go wrong today it most definitely will. And has.
It all started when you spilled iced coffee all over the front of your new white dress, then your favorite vibrator went out, you also seemed to misplace your butt plug which in your line of work is a travesty… then the two men you had planned a collab with had to cancel last minute.
That’s the last time you ever plan to work with a couple.
So now you’re in your car, listening to your favorite Spotify playlist while your hair whips through the wind.
Making it into Hawkins was so underwhelming, you could never live in a town like this… no chance in hell. You begrudgingly roll up your windows when the smell of cow shit wafts through the air.
God, if the sex toys suck I swear it’ll be my thirteenth reason.
“The destination is on your left.” Siri's voice echoes through your speakers.
You pull into a parking spot right up front, luckily the lot seemed to be pretty empty. You gather your purse and phone before allowing your eyes to flicker along the building now in perfect view—
The bricks were painted black, the store seemed as if it went on for ages and the red LED sign that read “the dungeon” seemed to taunt you.
You would’ve totally mistaken this place for some kind of bdsm club had you not known it was a sex shop. Clearly this town isn’t as conservative as it seems.
“Welcome to the dungeon!” The boy behind the counter sweetly recites with a welcoming smile. His honey brown eyes immediately catch your attention, along with his pretty brown head of hair.
Oh he’s cute!
“Thank you.” You smile back while hesitantly walking up to him, you quickly decide it’s best to just ask where the things you need are located instead of having to look around mindlessly, considering this was one of the biggest sex shops you’ve been in.
“Hi,” you purr while leaning up against the counter, “I need help looking for a few things.” Leaving your cleavage perfectly on display for the pretty boy in front of you.
“Oh yeah, sure, what are you looking for?” He shoots you a charming smile before leaning in closer to you.
“butt plugs, lube and vibrators.” You divulge with a pretty smile.
“Mmm, yeah I can help you find all of that. Let me just call my partner up here to take over.” He says with a wink.
You allow yourself to ogle at him a bit as he talks almost secretively over a walkie talkie; you observe his light brown eyes that twinkle with excitement, to the pretty beauty marks that seem to litter his skin, to the way his hair perfectly coifs.
“Alright, Eddie should be up here soon to take over.” He announces with a beaming smile.
“Thanks Steve.” You respond with a flirty bat of your lashes.
He looks at you for a moment as if a deer caught in headlights before his eyes shift down to his name tag, reminding himself it was in fact still pinned to his black shirt. A black shirt with red print of said sex shop; that hugged his biceps and chest so perfectly, that also showed off those speckled and toned arms that you now realized were spotted with a few tattoos.
You hear shuffling footsteps as another cute boy with wild wavy hair and even more tattoos walks up from behind you, his face is adorned in a knowing smirk as he hungirly looks you up and down.
“Alright, I’m here.” He declares before giving Steve a playful slap to his ass.
Steve rolls his eyes as his cheeks flush.
“Right this way.” He murmurs before looking back to the boy behind the counter and nodding as if Eddie had mouthed something to him.
Curious
“So, what brings you all the way to Hawkins?” Steve asks as he walks a couple steps ahead, his hands nervously shoved in his pockets.
“The shop I usually go to in Indy was closed so.. I had to drive like 30 minutes out of the way to come here.” You huff in exasperation.
“Oh I’m sorry about that…well we have the best sex toy selection in all of Indiana if that's any consolation.” His eyes nervously find yours before giving you a little smirk.
“Yeah, I see that. I’m surprised actually, never thought I’d find a sex shop like this in such a small town.”
“Well, you know what they say.. small towns have the biggest freaks.” He says with a laugh that makes your lower stomach flutter. He’s so pretty.
“Do they say that?” You giggle with a teasing raise of your eyebrows.
“I mean that’s what I’ve heard.” He shrugs his shoulders before licking at his bottom lip. “Okay, butt plugs… here we are.” He presents with a wave of his hand, showing off the wide selection and varieties.
“Oh wow,” is all you say as you let your hands skim over the array of silicone, metal and glass toys.
You grab a long metal plug, the packaging says the ridges are sensation bumps, which piqued your interest immediately.
“That ones my favorite.” Steve says with a bashful smile.
“Oh yeah? You use it on your girlfriend a lot or..?” You question as you internally pray he doesn’t have a girlfriend.
“No…I um, I use it on myself or my boyfriend… Eddie he’s uh- me and him are together.” He finally spits out.
“Oh okay, cute.” Is all you say, before grabbing the recommended plug that you’ve now noticed has a pretty red jewel at the bottom.
Your old baby was a pink silicone with just a regular white jewel, but you were excited to play with the ridges on this new one.
You grab a bottle of lube off one of the shelves before you and Steve make your way in complete silence towards the vibrators.
Steve was now a mystery to you, considering you knew he’d been flirting with you… also the way they both eyed you up and down? They had to be into women too, right?
We’ll see.
Once Steve shows you to the vibrators you snatch up the exact one that went out on you, it was your favorite and you weren’t in the mood to switch up what brought you ample amounts of pleasure.
“She knows what she wants..” Steve says with a low rasp that was doing no favors for your panties.
“This thing gives me back to back orgasms.” You say with a playful tilt of your head.
“Oh does it? Interesting.” He murmurs with a nod of his head, the look on his face was too cocky as if he knew something you didn’t.
He couldn’t have seen my videos, right?
“I’m gonna take a look at the lingerie and then I’ll be ready to check out in a bit.” You declare before giving Steve one last sweet smile.
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You walk up to the counter with a handheld basket of the toys you came for a long with some pretty lingerie sets and a couple pairs of crotchless panties.
Eddie and Steve are standing huddled together, facing away from the register, talking rather secretively as the metalhead shows the pretty boy something on his phone. They quickly break apart when they notice your arrival.
Hmm, that’s suspicious.
“Hey,” Eddie greets with a smirk, “find everything, okay?” He asks before a shaky exhale.
“Mmhm, Steve was a big help.” You say coyly as you take everything out of the red basket one by one, setting it on the counter to be rung up.
“I bet.” His smile gets devilish as he shoots a look at the blushing boy behind him.
“So how’s your day going?” He continues to probe.
“Honestly, not great…” you pout while studying the boys faces closely for their reactions. “Well, it’s better now that I’ve gotten these …” you say pointing to the plug and vibrator. “But, I had a collab scheduled and well the two guys I was supposed to work with canceled on me at the last minute, and I guess I’m just really horny and frustrated.. ya know?” You feel your frustrations finally coming to the forefront as a lump forms in your throat.
“Hmm, a collab?… what kind of collab?” His cocky smile manages to send a shiver down your spine. Oh, these boys were making you feel things you haven't in years.
You can also totally tell he’s fishing, he already knows, that was confirmation enough but you decide to go along with their ruse.
“I do only fans, so it was supposed to be a bisexual threesome. Probably some dp, frotting, a daisy chain.. things like that.” You list away as both boys' eyes widen at your frankness.
“Shit.” You hear Eddie mumble under his breath as he shifts in front of you.
“Me and uh, me and Stevie here have always wanted to um, ya know, do a threesome with a chick.” He confesses as the redness from his cheeks travel down along his long tattooed neck.
“Have either of you ever been with a woman before?” You ask curiously.
“Yeah, w-we both have, before we started dating.” Steve answers quickly.
“Oh okay, so you both like women too, or…?” you continue to indulge in your curiosity.
“Absolutely we do, sweetheart.” Eddie snickers, “especially ones who are up for taking two men at once.” He winks with a seductive lick of his plump lips.
“Down boy.” Steve chides, as he rolls his eyes at his boyfriend's brashness.
“He’s a bit shy, don’t mind him.” Eddie whispers with a downright devious smirk.
“Shy boys are my favorite to play with.” You say towards Steve with a wink.
“You hear that big boy?” The metalhead guffaws.
Big boy…
How could you not be immediately intrigued by words like that?
“So O.F. huh?” Eddie smugly asks “ya know, you do look pretty familiar, maybe we’ve seen your stuff.”
“Maybe you have…” you say before pulling out your phone to pull up your most recent video, it was a solo vid of you fucking your self with a pink dildo while your ass was stuffed full of your beloved anal plug (rip)
Before clicking on the video for their viewing pleasure, a username catches your eye: @bigboyandhellfire. Judging by the fact that Eddie called Steve big boy and Eddie’s throat tattoo so clearly reads ‘hellfire’ you’re now more than positive they are subscribed to you and they’ve liked your most recent video.
The throb between your thighs pulses and you’re trying so hard not to clench them together as tight as they’ll go.
“Hey, are you both busy after this?” You examine as both their faces shift to equal amounts of interest and curiosity.
You had balls, you had big fucking balls but you already knew that. You’d never been the type to shy away from anything, you’ve always been an “i’ll try anything once” kind of girl so it shouldn't surprise you that you propositioned two of your subscribers you met at a sex shop no less, to shoot content with you.
After their shift you had all gone out for some food and drinks. You were able to get a taste for their personalities and in turn it helped you feel much better about your compulsive decision.
You learned they were truly great guys, who were very in love, but also had so much extra love to give… by the end of the night it felt as if you’d known them forever, almost like you had fit so perfectly into their already incredible relationship.
You'd never really considered polyamory for yourself, which is surprising in your line of work as you have tons of friends who are very poly and proud. You just never thought you'd find more than one person who’d love you and willingly share you as all of your exes were jealous little shits, but now you’re completely rethinking any stances you've had on basic monogamous relationships for yourself.
After all of Eddie's dirty but hilarious jokes and Steve's absolute charm you explained to the boys how things worked; positions for the perfect shots, things they were into and things you were into, as well as hard limits between you all. You couldn't believe how much in common you had with them, sexually. That almost never happens with other creators.
The last and most important thing you needed from them before going any further were negative test results. The plan was for them to get tested, have the pdf file sent over to you to prove they were both clean and then they were to meet you at your apartment that night.
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“You ready, big boy?” the metalhead beams over to his boyfriend before they swiftly exit their shared jeep.
“Hey, you alright over there?” Eddie asks with concern as he drapes his heavily tattooed arm over Steve’s broad shoulders.
“Yeah no, I'm fine. Just nervous I guess.” He softly admits as he and Eddie cross the street, making their way into the clinic.
“Nervous to get tested or nervous to fuck our dream girl?” Eddie snorts at his own words.
“Honestly, a bit of both.” Steve confesses as he shyly cowers away into his boyfriend's chest, Eddie has always found Steve’s coy shyness utterly adorable, he wanted so badly to eat him up everytime he put his pretty head of hair into his chest or on his shoulder.
“I know I'm clean, since ya know i’ve never gone without a rubber, but I don't know, it's still nerve wracking I guess.” the honey eyed boy disclosed with a harsh breath into his boyfriend's neck.
“We’ll be alright, baby. It’ll be worth it, I mean how long have we been subscribed to her and how often have we come to the idea of her being between us?” Eddie acknowledged a little too loudly as the women in line ahead of them turned back to give them a disapproving look, making Steve’s cheeks tinge the sweetest shade of pink.
“Will you keep it down?” he sharply whispers into his boyfriend's brown waves, making Eddie cackle in amusement.
After an hour of leaving the clinic and grabbing some food as they awaited the results, they both get a ding on their phones. Steve’s eyes widen as he continues to chew on an extra big bite of his burger before harshly swallowing it down and cautiously grabbing his phone, as Eddie grabs his without a care in the world. To be fair Steve was much more sexually active before him and Eddie had gotten together; as in Steve had a huge hoe faze his Junior and Senior year of high school and although he had never forgotten to use protection, there was still a chance he could have caught something, or at least that’s what Steve’s anxiety riddled brain keeps telling him.
He stares at the results as a loud exhale is shared between the couple.
Steve catches his boyfriend's eye as his face scrunches up in confusion.
“I thought you weren't nervous?” He asks as a relieved smile spreads across his face.
“I never said that, I just have to be the brave one and talk you off the ledge. But believe me that shit is nerve inducing for anyone. Hell, I'd be nervous even if I still had my v card.” The metal head guffaws, popping a fry he’d dipped in his vanilla shake into his mouth, making Steve grimace in disgust at his boyfriend's condiment of choice.
“Yeah, true.” He quickly agrees.
Steve never thought to get tested or to make this big of a fuss about it, but after seeing the results, it left him with a sense of relief for something he may have subconsciously been worried about.
“WOOH!” Eddie shouts with excitement, “you ready to do this, Stevie?” He asks with the biggest, brightest smile while scanning his boyfriends beautiful face.
“Fuck yeah, I am.”
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“Michelle, are you even listening to me?” You pout into your phone's camera while on a somewhat grainy facetime chat with your beautiful bombshell of a best friend who seems to be occupied by the little smoke sesh/kick back she is hosting, the only one you’ve ever missed.
“Yes bitch, of course I am.” She says with slight annoyance, “come on, show me the options.”
You set up your phone on one of the many tripods that sit facing your bed before backing away with two sets of lingerie, “Okay, so I have this baby pink set or this like, deep blood red set with the knee high stockings and garter belt.” You say with a slight tremble to your voice that reaches your hands.
This is so not you, you’re never nervous to shoot content with even the biggest names…so what is it about these two boys that have you anxiously awaiting their arrival?
“Oh, def the blood red one, its fucking hot!” Michelle growls the word ‘hot’ into the speaker, slightly distorting the sound before you see a cloud of smoke billowing from her mouth.
“Yay! That's the one I was gonna choose anyway, since it matches my new butt plug.” You squeak in excitement.
“You fuckin’ freak.” Your best friend guffaws, “Maybe you and your boy toys can come through after y'all are done with your little fuckfest.”
You giggle at her choice of words as you begin to remove your robe and slip into the red lingerie set, foregoing the panties so you can lube and stretch yourself out for the buttplug you want to have inserted before Steve and Eddie show up.
“Yeah, maybe. I’ll ask if they’re up for it when we finish.”
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Finally, your hair and makeup are close enough to perfection, your lace set was on and hugging all the right curves on your body along with the knee highs and garter belts, your butt plug was sitting nice and snug inside your recently waxed puckered hole.
You begin to set up the ring lights around your room brightening the two in the front to max brightness as you've already lost sunlight, then you perfectly angle your tripods towards your big 70’s inspired circular bed, adorned with black silk sheets.
Once you’re setting out the lube and different toys you think the boys would be into, you hear the doorbell ring and all the busying you've been doing to try and calm your mind from complete and utter nervousness is now null and void as it all comes rushing back within an instant.
You saunter downstairs practically slipping on oak wood floors, no thanks to your nylon stocking like knee highs that hug your dainty feet.
Reaching the door, you pull it open with slight aggression that you can only blame on the anxious beating of your heart, here you are opening the door in nothing but lingerie yet that’s not even the part you’re nervous about. No, you're never nervous about showing your body off, as you’re quite proud of it, instead you're nervous because these two beautiful boys that you had an instant connection with will be in your presence, you have to keep reminding yourself they already like you, they’re subscribed to you for fucks sake, so there has to be some type of attraction there.
‘Just be yourself and you'll be fine’ is what you repeat like a mantra in your mind, something you haven't repeated since you were the new kid in 6th grade, entering into an unknown world of small town life in the midwest.
“Fuck me.” The long haired boy gasps under his breath as he eyes you up and down, his pretty boy boyfriend stands beside him with his mouth agape in shock, half lidded eyes and a soft and sweet blush to his cheeks.
“Come inside and I will.” You giggle as you take the expensive looking champagne they had brought along. You can always appreciate the people that don't show up to a shoot empty handed.
They step inside, curiously looking around your ‘too big for just you, house’.
“Do you live alone?” Steve questions shyly as Eddie continues to shamelessly check you out.
“I do, so you don't have to worry about anyone interrupting or listening in.” You add in an attempt to ease his tense shoulders that have been that way since you opened the front door. Even though you were nervous you wanted to make them as comfortable as possible, since this was their first time doing anything of this nature.
“So, you live in this big ass house all alone?” Eddie asks in disbelief.
“Yup, a big three bedroom house just for me. My roommate just moved out actually, so I've got the place to myself now. It's not so bad, unless you know of anyone who's looking to live with a porn making roomie?” you say with a smile and hand propped under your chin, in a cute pose.
The boys both smirk as they continue to eye everything up, as if in high interest of the offer you had just given them, well not them specifically but someone they knew. But their lease to their shitty apartment was almost up and they had been talking about moving out of Hawkins and to the city, nothing was keeping them in that shit hole town and there were so many more opportunities in indy. Maybe it was something they could bring up later.
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“So… how do we start this?” Eddie questions, his usual cocky facade slipping as he cracks his knuckles out of nervousness.
“Well once I hit record, we just kinda start it how ever you’d start just a regular fuck.” You say as you shrug your shoulders. “So, my phone is set up on this tripod, can one of you offer up your phone so I can set it up on this other one? I want as many angles as possible.” You ask sweetly as you point to the tripod that sits on the left corner of the bed.
“Yeah, you can use mine.” Steve quickly offers “the code is eddie or 33343.” He coyly asserts before his boyfriend is pulling him back to plant a big wet kiss to his lips.
That action alone made you throb between your thighs, Jesus you couldn’t wait to see how they’d make that burning feeling in your belly erupt.
You open his phone to a sweet background picture of him and Eddie; Steve kissing the metalheads cheek as a bashful looking Eddie, playfully flips off the camera.
You quickly open the camera and click the video option, before setting it onto the black base.
“Okay so, Eddie can I use your phone for like, close up and POV angles?” You ask as Eddie walks over and plops down onto your bed before leaning back to remove his phone from his side pocket. “You can use anything you’d like, princess.” He flirts with a wink, causing your stomach to swoop with butterflies.
He sets his phone down by the lube on your side table, for later.
After you’ve finished the setup process and helped the boys undress down to their boxers all while kissing each other, albeit without the cameras rolling which was so foreign for you, you never touched a costar if it wasn’t being recorded.
But you couldn’t help it, when you were lifting up Eddie’s shirt and he went in for a chaste kiss to your lips, the same one he planted on Steve earlier, It quickly heated up as he slipped his tongue into your mouth while you were unbuckling his belt.
Steve comes up behind you and whispers in your ear “is this okay?” Before he places a tender kiss to the side of your neck, causing a mean shiver to run down your spine, making both boys smile into your skin.
You nod to Steve’s question with a moan, before he begins to attack your neck with sweet yet sloppy kisses.
Both boys reach for your bra clasp on your back, unhooking it with ease and allowing it to quickly fall to the floor, only to be kicked out of the way.
You pull your lips away from Eddie’s to chase Steve’s, removing his shirt before kissing him with absolute hunger, causing him to groan into your mouth.
“Fuck, we have to stop before we don’t get anything recorded.” You giggle before walking over to the tripods. “Eddie, take his pants off.” You demand before you’re waiting behind the camera for the perfect time to hit the button.
Once Steve’s pants are off and he’s down to his black Calvin Klein briefs, you order them in what position to stand in; both facing the camera, side by side, shoulder to shoulder, beside your bed.
You hit the record button on both phones then saunter up to them, placing a kiss to each of their lips before dropping to your knees.
You look up at both boys as you bring your hands to rub them over their boxers, making them both hiss simultaneously.
You pull Steve’s cock out first and big boy is right! He has one of the biggest cocks you’ve ever seen, and it instantly makes your mouth water. It’s so pretty and thick with the pinkest head, totally reminds you of how pink his cheeks get when he’s shy. God, it makes you want to stick his cock so far down your throat and never come back up for air.
Instead you kiss the tip before looking up at him, and licking away the yummy bead of precum that sits on his pretty pink slit. You make a whole show of it while holding it on the tip of your tongue so he and Eddie can see, before sensually bringing it into your mouth, moaning at the taste, “mmm, you taste so good.” You purr, as you take him fully into your mouth.
Both boys moan out at your little display.
You give Steve a couple hard sucks to his head before taking him back into your throat, bobbing your head and letting him fuck your mouth until your eyes water.
“Holy fuck.” The pretty boy groans as his head falls back, he places a rough hand through your hair and tightens the strands between his fingers.
Eddie, ever the impatient one, slides his checkered boxers down his legs and strokes at his hard almost equally girthy and long cock a couple times before he’s grabbing a handful of your hair and making you instantly pop off of Steve’s cock and on to his.
“That’s right baby, let us use you.” He groans as he begins fucking your throat.
You had all talked about this that night at the diner, you told them you enjoyed being used, you wanted them to pass you back and forth like a whore.
Eddie had a nice chuckle at that.
The curly haired boy grabs his phone off your side table, before opening the camera and hitting record as he continues to fuck your throat. All that could be heard were gawking noises and Eddie’s pretty moans and groans, after getting a close up shot of you pulling off of his cock and gasping for air as a string of spit falls out of your mouth and onto your tits.
Eddie passes the phone to Steve silently telling him to record.
Once his hands are free he cups underneath your chin and threads his ringed fingers back into your hair as he begins to fuck your throat with reckless abandon.
“Oh my fucking god, your throat baby. And no fucking gag reflex? Just taking it all aren’t you?” He growls as his head falls down towards his chest, getting a good look at how your tears have caused your makeup to smudge and smear, it’s the hottest thing the guys have ever seen.
“My turn.” Steve demands pulling you off from a particularly deep thrust Eddie had made, spit falling in strings to the floor and your thighs, but most landing on your tits, nipples so peaked and wet with your drool.
“Fuck yeah, get back on my cock you little slut.” Holy shit, where did shy little steve go? Cause whoa, you think you might like this version even better.
Steve fucks your throat until it’s sore before Eddie’s bringing you back to him, stuffing your face into his balls as you licked and sucked at them. “That’s right, dirty girl. Suck my balls. Fuck.”
You give a few more swipes of your tongue to his sensitive sack before you take both balls into your mouth, lightly sucking until you hear the sounds of smacking above you. Looking up to the beautiful sight of them making out, tongues and spit being passed back and forth, gives you a good idea.
You slip Eddie’s balls out of your mouth before grabbing both of their cocks at the base, they both look so huge with your dainty hands wrapped around them.
You bring both cocks up to your mouth, fitting them in as you open your mouth to maximum capacity. They break their filthy kiss as they groan, both sets of eyes falling down on you as you fit two huge cocks into your very skilled mouth, deepthroating as spit drips down their cocks.
“Such a messy girl.” Eddie tsks, as they simultaneously thread their hands into your hair, pushing you even deeper on their cocks, making their cock heads rub together so beautifully inside your mouth.
You remove your mouth again as you begin gasping for air. Steve still has the pov camera on you, as you begin to rub their spit soaked, pink cock heads together.
“Two of the prettiest cocks I’ve ever seen.” You say up at the camera with a giggle, making both boys smile and groan down at you.
You suck at Steve’s balls next as you continue to jerk both boys' cocks in each hand.
“Okay fuck. Get up here baby.” Steve growls as he lifts you up by your hair, not gentle whatsoever which is exactly what you asked him for.
Eddie pushes you down onto your bed, your butt sliding along the black silk sheets as you laugh at their absolute desperation; they need you as much as you need them, you can feel that want in the air.
Eddie wants you, Steve wants you, you want them and they want each other. It’s a beautiful dynamic. One you could get used to.
Focus.
“Let’s remove these pretty panties baby, need to see that even prettier pussy.” Eddie murmurs before he bends down and plants a sweet kiss to your inner thigh and another one on the other to match before he’s spreading your legs back towards your shoulders.
You’re certainly not used to your co stars being so soft and sweet towards you, it makes the throb in your clit amplify and your heart race with an unknown feeling.
“Fuck, look at that.” Eddie groans as your slick soaked pussy is now fully on display for both boys, making their eyes roll back at the way your sticky folds part with strings of your arousal keeping them connected, Steve is licking at his lips like a man ready to devour a four course meal.
It’s not a secret that both boys miss pussy, they love each other's bodies, no doubt about that. Steve loves getting stretched out on Eddie’s cock and Eddie loves to do the stretching, but fuck if they don’t miss the taste and feel of pussy too. They often talk about it in the throes of their passion, about how nice it would be for Steve to have a pussy to fuck into while he’s getting his guts rearranged by the metalhead, that kinda talk makes the pretty boy cum over Eddie’s fist every time, as he tries his best to mimick the warmth and tightness of a pussy with his hand, all while whispering absolute filth into Steve’s ear.
“Move up onto your pillows, sweet girl.” Eddie suggests as his fingers trace the red jewel attached to the plug that is nestled deep between your cheeks. You’re not really sure what they have in mind but you’re so far gone and you’re totally willing to give up all control to these two men, another thing you never do.
Once your head hits your pillows, your hair is fanned out around you and both boys are still eyeing your body like a snack, you slowly open your legs, hiking them up towards your shoulders like Eddie had you on the edge of the bed but this time both your arms keep them pulled back. They lick their lips as their cocks twitch at your flexibility, something they’ve seen in your videos as long time subscribers of yours.
“Jesus.” Steve whispers under his breath, grabbing the pov phone and walking on his knees to get a closer look for the camera and let’s be honest, himself.
“Damn, look at that soaking fucking wet pussy, it’s so ready to be fucked isn’t baby?” Steve asks as he brings his thumb to your clit, rubbing soft circles into it, making you jolt up as your eyebrows knit together and a pretty moan falls from your open lips.
“Yes, it’s so ready.” You agree with your subby little breathy voice they love so much.
“Soon baby, first we gotta get our tongues on you.” Eddie says as he come up to rest beside Steve, and if you think this is going where you think it is, it is very fucking welcome.
Steve removes his thumb from your clit, sticking it into his boyfriend's mouth, making Eddie moan around the younger boy's finger, at your taste.
They both lay on their stomachs between your hiked up legs, Steve has his hand on the outside of one thigh and Eddie has his hand on the other, they both bring their heads in at the same time to lick at your clit. The tip of their tongues rub against each other while your puffy sensitive clit is between their soft pink muscles, making your toes curl and your back arch from the intense pleasure.
“Fuck!” You moan loudly as you take the abandoned pov camera and point it down towards the boys, as they both look up at you.
Eddie winks and you’re not sure if it’s for the camera or for you but you continue to watch them on the screen, as they share and bully your clit. Steve spits on it making Eddie lick it up and off your throbbing bud, they both begin soft licks before Eddie grabs Steve’s head and pulls him in for a sloppy kiss, their faces still so close to your pussy you can feel Eddie’s stubble rub against your clit, making you moan out louder.
“Mmm, I gotta get an even better taste of your pussy.” Eddie mewls as he brings his tongue down to your hole, fucking you with it while Steve begins to lap at your pink swollen bud, again.
You’ve never felt such pleasure before.
“Holy shit, I’m g-g-gonna c-cum!” You whine as both boys speed up their ministrations.
“Mmm, cum for us, pretty girl.” Steve moans into your pussy.
Eddie removes his tongue bringing it back up to slide against Steve’s on your clit, before plunging two fingers inside of you and curling them, instantly hitting your sweet spot, making you thrust your hips up to chase their tongues and Eddie’s magic fingers.
“Fuck, I’m c-cumming!” You begin to shake, as your legs fight Eddie and Steve’s strong hands that are holding them down towards the bed.
They lick and finger fuck you through the longest and most intense orgasm you’ve ever had, before they’re removing their mouths and Eddie’s removing his fingers.
Steve opens his mouth with his tongue hanging out, like an obedient little slut as Eddie plunges his fingers into the pretty boy’s mouth making Steve close his lips and expertly sucks on the two fingers that were just deep inside you. It’s so fucking hot.
And you’re filming it all with the pov camera for your viewers pleasure, but let’s be honest it’s mainly for yours.
There’s no way you won’t look back on this video as you play with your vibrator in the exact position you’re in now, absolutely no way.
“I’ve gotta get my cock inside you.” Eddie pouts as he lays down towards the end of the bed in between both cameras as they focus on him perfectly.
You were excited to try this position you had all talked about, it’s not one you saw much of in mmf threesomes so you were happy to do something a little different.
You straddle Eddie’s waist, sitting on his thighs as his cock rests so prettily against his happy trail, reaching all the way up to his belly button. You let your eyes roam his body and the insane amount of tattoos that cover every inch of skin, they all look like they belong in some kind of fantasy novel.
Steve finally straddles Eddie’s face, his leaky cock sitting just above Eddie’s mouth as his pink asshole is displayed for you. You’ve given a couple rim jobs but holy shit, if you weren’t gonna enjoy eating Stevie’s little hole the most.
Steve’s head was resting face down in your pillows, but he had it angled to where you can see his reactions to all the pleasure you and Eddie were about to give him.
At almost the same time you grab Eddie’s cock that continues leaking copious amounts of precum, Eddie grabs Steve's from between his thighs.
You slowly sink down onto Eddie’s warm throbbing sex, before he's shoving Steve into his mouth to the hilt. Eddie groans around Steve’s cock as Steve groans out from Eddie’s mouth.
Finally when you’re stretched and ready to start moving you lower your head, bringing your tongue to Steve’s pretty, smooth hole giving it a couple licks before prodding it with the tip of your tongue.
“Fuck, that so fucking good!” The pretty boy groans into your silk pillows as they get wet from the drool that drips from the side of his mouth.
While you’re rolling your tongue back and forth from Steve’s hole, over his gooch and towards his balls, Eddie expertly fucks Steve with his mouth.
Finally, the metalhead plants his feet onto the bed before he starts fucking up into your soaked pussy, making you moan out so loud, if you weren’t so cock drunk on these two men you’d probably be embarrassed.
“Jesus Christ, your pussy feels amazing!” Eddie groans after popping off of Steve’s cock to catch his breath.
Eddie continues to pound into you, the angle you’re in is allowing him to hit your g spot perfectly, over and over until suddenly he has to stop, causing you to whine as you sloppily lap at Steve’s puckered hole.
“I’m gonna cum, I gotta switch positions.” He whispers into Steve’s inner thigh before he gives it a sweet kiss, all while landing a swift playful swat to your ass, causing your fucked out wet cunt to rub against his shaft that’s still dripping with your juices.
You quickly make your way off of Eddie so he can stand up, you’re allowing the boys to have full control as they seem to be very eager and excited for what’s happening, so you sit on your bed as your wet thighs and slick cunt ruin your sheets, waiting for directions.
“On all fours, now.” Eddie demands with a growl in his throat that could get you to do just about anything.
He walks to the dresser to grab the bottle of lube before making his way back with a devious smirk on his face, one that has you vibrating from the inside out.
“You’re gonna suck Stevie’s pretty cock while I double dip your pretty holes, how’s that sound princess?” He says as his hands come up to rub on your exposed ass cheeks, giving the right one a harsh smack. “I said how’s. that. sound?” He spits through his teeth,
“S-sounds good! Please!” Your needy whimper makes both boys laugh, causing your cheeks to heat up. But you couldn’t lie, you loved the degrading feeling of it all.
“Such a needy little thing, isn’t she, baby?” Eddie smirks up towards his boyfriend who’s now laying flat on his back, the metalhead slowly removes your plug before pouring lube on his two fingers and bringing them to your still too tight rim.
“So fucking needy.” Steve agrees with a teasing laugh.
He prods at you with the tips of his fingers, slowly sinking two into your needy hole.
“Mmm.” Is all the only sound you can make around Steve’s girthy cock as Eddie begins fucking you on his long appendages.
Once you’re even more stretched to his liking, Eddie removes his fingers causing you to gasp from the equal amounts of pain and pleasure.
He grabs the meat of your cheeks, two handfuls pulling them apart as far as they’ll go before spitting right onto your already lubed up hole. The surprise action makes you yelp and buck your hips.
“Uh uh, none of that moving shit.” He tsks with a harsher slap to your ass, “you’re gonna lay there and take it like a good little slut, understand?” He grits before you can feel his breath harshly fan over the globe of your right cheek, he bites at the meat but it quickly turns into a rough suck, as he worships your ass while you continue to bob on Steve’s cock and occasionally tongue his hole.
“Yes sir!” You whine after popping off of one of Steve’s balls. You can tell the pretty boy is losing all resolve and he’s seconds away from cumming in your mouth, but you need them both inside of you, so you lazily stroke his cock with your hand as Eddie begins to push into your ass, causing you to cry out into Steve’s thigh.
“Oh fuck, that’s it baby, take it.” The metalhead spits before he’s grabbing your hair and pulling you back, making you release your hand from Steve’s throbbing cock, causing him to whimper in frustration.
Your back is now flushed with Eddie’s chest as he continues to move you with the handful of hair he has a hard unforgiving grip on. He harshly turns your head bringing your lips to his for a dirty, sloppy, mostly tongue, kiss.
“Mmm, you taste so good on our girl’s lips, Stevie.” Eddie groans as him and his boyfriend make eye contact while he continues to fuck deeper into your ass.
You’re so far gone you couldn’t even register or put any further thought into our girl.
“You both look so fucking hot together.” Steve confesses as he bites down on his bottom lip and takes his painfully hard cock into his own hand to stroke.
Eddie gives you one more kiss before he’s pushing your head back down into the mattress and taking his cock out before shoving it into your pussy, giving it a few strokes then moving back into your asshole and repeating. Your eyes roll back into your head as you whimper and moan into your sheets.
Steve comes up beside you to push your hair out of your face, pov camera in hand as he passes it to Eddie in order to get a good close up of the way he’s switching between your holes.
“Hi, pretty girl.” He coos with a soft smile, “You’re doing so fucking good, taking his cock so good, baby.” His praises cause you to tense up and shake, cunt and asshole squeezing Eddie like a vice.
“Don’t you fucking cum yet, hold it!” Eddie scolds, as he dips his cock one more time into your asshole, another harsh slap to your already burning skin.
Eddie pulls out of you, motioning for Steve to follow him. He whispers into his ear off camera, making the pretty boy hum and nod in agreement, a sly smirk gracing both of their faces.
“Come on, angel. Up.” Eddie demands with a snap of his fingers, you’re up and off the bed in a matter of seconds as you stand before both boys, stark naked aside from your thigh highs.
Eddie lays down on his back, still facing the cameras like he was when you rode him, but this time they’re both guiding you to sit on him while you also face the cameras, your ass on full display for the metalhead.
Steve grabs Eddie’s extremely stiff shaft as you straddle him backwards, he teasingly guides Eddie through your slick folds before he’s inserting the long haired boy's cock into your sopping wet pussy.
As you sink down slowly causing the boy behind you to hiss in pleasure, Steve guides your feet onto Eddie’s knees as your hands go back on Eddie’s chest to help keep you balanced.
Once you’re fully impaled on his cock, his silver rings slide against your delicate skin as he holds the backs of your knees up causing your feet to dangle in the air, giving Steve and the cameras the perfect view of eddie fucking into you, and all the pretty faces you’ll make.
Steve drops down to his knees as he observes the way Eddie’s cock squelches in and out of you and how tight you’re gripping him, along with the white ring of your arousal that has gathered at the end of Eddie’s shaft, Steve just wants to lick it off, and he will.
Eddie bounces you by the backs of your knees a couple more times before he’s lifting you up, his cock plops out of you but is quickly retrieved by Steve who takes it into his mouth, moaning as he tastes you and Eddie’s mixture, so heady and earthy but oh so fucking sweet.
He gives Eddie a few strokes before he moves up to lick at your pussy, shoving his tongue inside of you and shoveling some of your wetness out, savoring the delicious taste before he puts Eddie’s cock back inside of you, only to be bounced some more.
Eddie continues hitting your sweet spot, but you’re trying so hard, so fucking hard not to cum.
“That’s it baby, hold it for me. Hold it and I promise I’ll make you see fucking stars…me and Steve both will, okay?…fuck.” Eddie encourages with broken gasps.
He lifts you by the knees again, this time Steve eagerly pulls Eddie from your cunt and laps up your addicting flavor, rolling his tongue up from Eddie’s cock and into your folds, going straight to the source of the sweet nectar he craves, and then rolling his tongue from your clit down to eddies cock and sucking.
“Fuck you’re such a good boy, Stevie.” Eddie groans as his fingers dig into your skin where he still has a hold on you.
“Mmm, I could eat pussy and suck cock all day.” He hums in contentment, making you and Eddie giggle at his fucked out tone.
“That’s right, my little slut boy. Always so eager for daddy’s cock aren’t you?” Eddie chuckles in satisfaction “and now you have the prettiest cunt to eat from… fuck, daddy’s just spoiling you, aren’t I?”
Eddie’s words cause you to moan as you throw your head back, he had a fucking mouth on him and you loved every second of it!
“Mm, I think pretty girl over here likes that.” You can hear the smirk in his voice, before Steve is shoving Eddie’s cock back inside of you, the metalhead begins bouncing you back on his cock but this time he fucks up in to you, making you whimper and babble incoherent words.
“Do you, huh slut? You want me to be your daddy, too? Own this pussy and fuck it whenever I want?” Eddie groans as he throws his head back at how fucking good you feel, he can’t even believe he’s lasted this long, but fuck he’s trying his best to impress you, and maybe just maybe you’ll wanna do this with them again.
“Yes, daddy! Please!” You sob as your legs begin to shake, again.
Both boys practically growl at your words, they fucking love the idea of you being their’s.
Eddie lifts you one more time before he orders Steve to grab the lube and lather his cock with it, once Steve’s done he’s guiding Eddie’s cock into your asshole, watching with hungry eyes as you sink back down onto the metalhead. He’s so turned on by the way the ring of your hole looks being filled to the max by his boyfriend. God, it was so fucking hot.
Steve gives a quick lick to your puckered stretched out skin and up to Eddie’s exposed shaft, mid thrust before he adds a gentle kiss to your clit.
He stands up and gives his cock a couple strokes before he’s guiding himself into your pussy, to help his boyfriend stuff you full, until you’re cumming all over their cocks. Fuck, he couldn’t wait.
You all moan out in tandem as both boys fuck into you, Eddie still holding your trembling legs up and Steve is now holding you around your waist as you both moan into eachothers mouths.
Their thrusts get harder the closer you all get to your glorious releases.
“Oh fuck, okay baby, cum for us. Cmon.” Eddie growls, as his thrusts get even harder.
You’re all so fucked out and ready to cum as the moans throughout the room get louder.
Steve hasn’t stuck his cock in a pussy in years and he’s about two seconds from embarrassing himself and cumming the hardest he has in awhile.
Eddie’s trying his best to hold out, too. But your asshole keeps gripping him and he can feel Steve’s cock through your walls, and his big mouth wants to tell him how good he feels through you, but he knows if he vocalizes it, it’ll make both boys cum in an instant.
“Oh my god!” You finally wail as your legs shake so intensely, Eddie and Steve have to hold them still for you.
“There you go baby, cmon, give it to us.” Steve groans, as he brings his fingers down to your clit drawing soft circles to the overly sensitive pink bud.
Steve’s fingers bring you closer to the edge as a familiar burning in your belly courses through you.
You can barely hold your body up anymore as you tremble and shake, eyes rolling into the back of your head as that all consuming peak hits you harder than it ever has, a splash of liquid shoots out of you like a waterfall onto Steve’s stomach and down on Eddie’s thighs, causing both boys to gasp and moan in complete bliss as they now use you for their own gratification.
Steve loses it first with a loud whimper as his head falls back in pleasure, his beautiful head of hair swishing around on his forehead as he shoots his warm load of cum deep inside of you.
After Steve pulls out and takes a seat up amongst the pillows at the head of your bed, Eddie puts you into a complete full nelson as his hands lace behind your head, he fucks even deeper into you causing you both to scream out in pleasure.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Eddie howls as his hips come to a complete stop while buried deep inside of your tight, warm hole that continues to suck him in as he cums so much it begins to drip down his shaft. Getting the perfect shot for the cameras that are still rolling.
Eddie gently lifts you off, laying you on the bed close to Steve’s legs as you cling to them, peppering them with soft kisses while Steve runs a soothing hand through your hair.
Eddie takes his phone and records the white creamy cum that seeps from both of your used holes.
Fuck, he feels his cock twitch at the sight of you.
You’re a complete mess and both of your holes are leaking his and his boyfriend’s cum. He swears if this never happens again with you, this will be at the top of his spank bank for the rest of his life.
Eddie gets up to stop the cameras, coming back to give you and Steve a quick kiss before he’s going into your bathroom to search for a rag to clean you up with. He comes out with one of your rolled up white ones that are specifically for decoration, but you don’t have the heart to tell him they’re not to be used.
He brings the wet rag down between your legs and wipes until there’s no more cum seeping from your holes.
“I think this was the best collab I’ve ever done, like my subscribers are gonna love this! Thank you both so much.” You shyly say as you look from one boy to another.
“Of course baby, anytime.” Eddie says with a beaming smile.
“So, my best friend’s having a little hang out, smoke sesh at her house and she invited all of us after we were done with our fuck fest.” You say as you put fuck fest in air quotes, playfully rolling your eyes, making both boys to chuckle in amusement.
“We actually wanted to pop open the champagne and hang out with you, after. I also brought a little treat of my own.” Eddie teases as he picks his jeans up off of the floor and digs in one of the pockets, pulling out a nicely rolled blunt.
He waves it around with a bounce of his eyebrows, as if trying to entice you, before he sticks it behind his ear, for later.
“Okay, that sounds fun. I have a pool, we could go late night swimming.” You suggest to both boys, as they look at you in a way that sends the butterflies in your belly fluttering.
Steve breaks out into a big grin. “Fuck yeah, let’s go swimming.” He says as he jumps up out of your bed, reaching for his boxer briefs.
You stop him before he fully bends down, “how about late night skinny dipping?” You giggle when both boys eagerly nod in agreement.
“I like the way you think, baby.” Eddie says as he throws his arm over your shoulders, walking out of your room and down your stairs, with both boys at your side.
Steve grabs the champagne, then asks where he could find the flutes, before you’re all making your way outside into the fresh night air.
You flip the pool light on before you and Steve walk together, sitting side by side on the first step, warm heated water washing away the goosebumps that have formed on your leg as it rubs up against Steve’s.
He begins to pour you all a glass, as Eddie hands you his joint and lighter before he runs and jumps bare naked ass on display into the pool, making you and Steve cackle, you lay your head on his shoulder while you both continue to die of laughter.
“What are you both laughing at?” Eddie questions with a smirk and curious raise of his eyebrows.
“Your pasty ass.” You retort, making Steve laugh harder.
“Oh I see how it is, you’re ganging up on me now?” Eddie says with faux sadness as he swims closer to you and Steve, playfully grabbing both of your legs as if to try and drag you in, but you and Steve pull him in towards you.
Eddie kisses you first, as he holds your chin in place between his fingers, then he kisses Steve with the same amount of vigor, before Steve is kissing you.
You don’t think you can ever move on from this, it feels too right, like these are your people.
“So, about the roommate position?” Eddie inquires, “how would you feel if, say, two guys you know are very interested, like they would move in tomorrow if they could.” Both boys look at you with the biggest doe eyes, as if you’d say no, as if you wouldn’t want to have them live in this big lonely house with you, possibly starting a new chapter with these two men you have so quickly fallen for.
“I would say, abso-fucking-lutely.”
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If your age is not in your bio, I did not tag you.
(Also, tagged everyone above age who interacted with the teaser of this)
taglist: @likedovesinthewnd @lil-quinnie @danielabrandt @prettypeachsworld @youare-hackskellington @sebs-oxygen @livsters @wheel-of-hyperfixation @imonhereforareasonsadly @kingdomkitten32 @munson-magic @tiannamortis @katwinchester64 @the-unforgivenn @micheledawn1975 @josephquinnsfreckles @jasminelafleur @emsgoodthinkin @manda-panda-monium @munsonsuccubus @teletubbysteroids @eddies-puppet @munsonssecretblog @eddieslittlewh0re @itsgonnabeoktodsy @randomworker @starrthemushroom @imaautisticchicken @creativename01 @m-chmcl-rmnc @emmerson-1 @siouxiesiouxtryhard @munsonology @pillow-titties @cherryc1nnam0n @wyverntatty @spicedandicedtea @justmeinadaze @violettaskies @bebe07011 @devilinthepalemoonlite @lunatictardis
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drdemonprince · 5 months
Text
I have almost no energy to move or to think. My eyes hurt. My head hurts. I’m constantly on the verge of puking. The room is spinning. Normally bouncing off the walls with the desire to exercise, try new things, and socialize, all I want to do is sit silently in the dark. I am incapacitated, in an inescapable way, by the demands of full-time work. I had forgotten for a while that I am so profoundly disabled, because I have been able to build a life around my natural rhythms and my inarguable sensitivities. But for just one week, I’ve been thrust back into approximating something of a “normal” working life, and I can’t handle it. Not even remotely. If I were to live by this schedule all of the time, if necessity forced me to work an actual full-time job with real, in-person, full-time hours, I would have zero energy for meal preparation, physical fitness, social outings, on-the-ground activism, or any of the random adventures that make life so worthwhile. In my schedule I’d scarcely find the time for doctor’s visits, tooth cleanings, trips to the DMV, birthday parties, conferences, runs to the post office, or any of the other small journeys that make it possible for supposedly “independent” adult life to run. My health, my relationships, my community, and my grounding in reality would dramatically collapse.
Working full-time is a sickness. And not just for especially sensitive people like me. The friends I know with full-time jobs are tired nearly all the time, and have had to give up on so many of their passions and fulfilling pursuits. Over the years some full-time workers I know have become a bit dull-eyed and distant, no passion in their voice, a ghost of their younger selves. They assume it is because they are growing “old,” but I’m older than many of them, and many people older than me are similarly able to bounce off the walls. We have energy if we get enough sleep, if we eat robustly and eagerly, and if life is filled with shared wanderings that we can look forward to. We need repetition, and comfort, and rest, but also ample space to dream, and the power to bring some of those dreams into reality. So many people under capitalism lack all of those things. Their jobs are a chronic illness they must cradle, manage, and make endless sacrifices for every single day. There is so much they can’t do. They don’t go on dates with their spouses because they’re falling asleep at 8pm. They’re behind on doctor’s appointments and haven’t visited their siblings for years. They’re too weak and weary to travel, to volunteer, to meet anybody new. All they have it in them to do at the end of the day is collapse in front of something familiar on the TV. And it is so normal that nobody even considers it a sickness.
The full essay is free to read or have narrated to you at drdevonprice.substack.com.
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