#the dwarves are like “that’s a child!!”

[weird-obsessed-girl]

Bagginshield Fic Rec

I can’t believe I’ve had such an intense revival into The Hobbit Fandom after being obsessed with the movies when they came out just over 10 years ago now. There’s just some fandoms that have consistently amazing fanfics that are written beautifully and with such interesting concepts.

Some of these are a bit silly and cracky but i think that’s the appeal of The Hobbit, it’s a bit more cheerful than LOTR (vehemently ignoring Battle of the Five Armies)

So below is a list of fics I have loved reading organised by word count smallest to largest.

If you have any fics that you’ve read and don’t see here please share them with me! P.S, if you need more fics to read after these please check out the author’s other works.

Fanfiction Title - Author

Tags, description of fic | word count | rating

And Down the Road I Goes - pibroch (littleblackdog)

Kid!fic, mpreg, humour, dwobbits, beard problems | 1.3k | T

All That Glitters - BeautifulFiction

Everyone lives, post-BAFTA, Dwarven culture and customs, Dwarven jewellery | 1.5k | G

Truth - alkjira

Body image issues, post-BAFTA, everybody lives, Dwarven beauty standards | 1.9k | T

Brethren, Braids and a Bothersome Burglar - Frankensteins_Monster

Unintentional Dwarven courting, and then intentional after communication is cleared up, Hair Braiding | 2.3k | T

There is A Child - smileybagel

Foresight, canonical character death, Thorin POV | 2.7k | T

Of the King and Consort’s Portraits - undomiel (dolcewrites)

Cultural differences, painting portraits, Erebor and Shire Parallels, domestic fluff | 3.4K | T

Shorn - Avelera

Mourning ritual, Dwarf culture and customs, misunderstandings, pre-slash, Long-beards mentioned! 3.5k | G

A Chance to Make It Right - smileybagel

Thorin is offered a second chance, magical dreams of future children, second part to “There is A Child” | 3.6k | G

The Proper Way To Call You Mine - Fantasyinallforms

Hair braiding, post-BAFTA, misunderstandings, Fili and Kili meddling, getting together, jealous Thorin | 3.6k | T

And in our love u see golden things - Seungshi03

Goldsickness as a mental health condition, domestic fluff, consort Bilbo | 3.7k | G

Riddles in the Dark Brought into the Light - Lucigoo89

Everyone lives, post-BAFTA, PTSD, loooove fics where the trauma from the journey is included, background Dwalin/Nori | 3.8k | G

In More than the Wisdom of Years - jezebel_rising

Dis POV, everyone lives, reunions, Dis and Bilbo friendship | 4.2k | Not rated

A Dwarven Beauty - bevel_bee

Dwarven beauty standards, Bilbo is considered very attractive, but he’s very oblivious to the compliments, post-BAFTA | 4.6k | G

The Seven Gifts - snowmissus (soul_of_blaze)

Dwarf and hobbit courting, awkwardness, Bilbo remains in Erebor, miscommunication | 5.1k | G

The Stone’s Gift - SilverSkiesAtMidnight

Established relationship, consort Bilbo, “the Dwarven equivalent of cabbage patch hobbits”, dwarves made from literal stone, unplanned pregnancy | 5.2k | T

One Remedy for Gold Sickness (or maybe two) - randi2204

Bilbo uses an ancient hobbit remedy for greedy folks, flabbergasted dwarves | 5.8k | T * need to have an Ao3 account

Better an ugly face than an ugly mind - unpeumacabre

Dwarven beauty standards (and hobbit ones), Thorin POV | 6.1k | T

A Minor Problem - fideliant

Smut, thorin finds out Bilbo’s age, obliviousness to different species’ life expectancies | 6.4K | E

Bruises on the Heart - thehufflepuffhobbit

5 + 1 times, soulmate au, Thorin POV, bruises, sharing a bed, during the journey | 7.8k | E

Clue-finder - TheGrayKnight

Post-BAFTA, Dwarven courting, cultural differences | 9k | G

Queen Under the Mountain - benny_Laur

Character death (not really), Dis POV, I LOVE DIS, Requited love, Kili definitely should not be in charge of communications | 11k | Not rating

Call You Home - northerntrash

Hobbit culture, including hidden names (I like the hobbit side as it’s a popular trope that dwarves have hidden names), Thorin’s puppy-eyes, the company | 11.9K | Not rated

Planting a Hobbit - northerntrash

Everyone lives, post-BAFTA, homesickness, domestic fluff, Thorin builds Bilbo a garden trope! 13k | Not rated

Forget-Me-Not - kerkusa, LordOfTheRazzles

Established relationship, post-BAFTA, healing Thorin causes temporary amnesia, Dwarf and Hobbit courting (again) | 14k | G

Defying Death (or at least the ones in charge) - Lucigoo89

I have yet to read this yet but it looks very promising! Bilbo has died and now it’s time for him to smuggle himself into Mahalia Halls to see his love again | 15.1k | T

Ere Break of Day - alexaprilgarden

During the journey, falling in love, Dwarven Ones, soulmates, everyone lives, angst | 15.6k | E

The Different Shades of Bilbo’s Love - SunnyRose

Kid Bilbo wants to be friends with Thorin, consenting adult romance later on, friends to lovers, flower language, Belladonna Took! 17.5k | G

I have loved you and you have not known it - KaavyaWriting

Miscommunication, the company come up with a way of making friends with a hobbit that is inaccurate, jealous Thorin, during the journey | 17.7k | G

You Got Me - drunkonwriting

Company-centric, dwarf culture, fluff, during the journey, friendship fic | 18.9k | G

Gardening - The Feels Whale (miscellea)

Bilbo returns to Shire, Kid!fic, cabbage patch hobbits, Bilbo’s under the impression Thorin died (he’s wrong) | 19.7k | T

My Princess, My Love, Marry Me! - mordelle

Alt universe, Princess Thorin visits the Shire, pinning Bilbo, Thorin is considered ugly by Dwarven beauty standards, smut | 36.3k | E

#bagginshield #the hobbit #thorin oakenshield #bilbo baggins #middle earth #fanfiction #middle earth fanfiction #the hobbit movies #dwarf culture #mahal #dwarf courting #hobbit courting #Erebor #bilbo x thorin #bilbo Baggins x thorin Oakenshield #thilbo #thilbo bagginshield #dwarrow

[stawpny]

Gov, after New York said something completely out of pocket: I sometimes wonder what goes on in your head. It keeps me up at night.

New York: I don’t like that you think about that.

(pause)

New York, again: I don’t like that you think about me.

—

(1950’s)

Massachusetts: No, York, you can’t do that, fucking dumbass

New York, really quickly: onlyredbloodedcommunistssaywhat

Massachusetts, puzzled: what?

New York: HE’S A COMMUNIST!! HIM!

—

Random Person: I can show you a magic trick!

Massachusetts: Really? Show me.

Random Person: Is this your card?

Massachusetts, horrified and frantically pointing at the person: WITCH!! WITCH!

—

Young New Jersey: Well, York’s got a bad case of “stupid disease” that unfortunately gets worse as the days go on.

Pennsylvania, almost losing it: What?

Young New York: Stop telling everyone I’m stupid! I am not stupid-

Young New York: OHMYGODAKITTY!!

Young New Jersey, overdramatic : What did I say? It’s so hard to see such a young child suffer.

—

Gov: Tell me truthfully, how old do I look?

California, a people pleaser: You look not a day older than 24!

Texas, an honest soul: Around 32-ish?

Florida, the one who’s whole purpose is to flex his age: You look like you’re 10 to me.

Louisiana, who is too drunk to say anything relatively normal: Uh.. 53! Yeah!

New York, too tired to care: You look fine. Can we get back to the meeting now?

—

New York, boasting about his height: You wouldn’t believe what it’s like to live with these short fuckers.

New York: I mean just look at them!

New York: It’s like im Snow White with the.. *counting* 9, sometimes 10, little dwarves. And they’re all the grumpy one!

New York, arguing: You about the same size of one of “Santa’s Little Helper” yet you don’t even help the fatass!

New York, still: You fucking elves. Go make toys or something.

—

credits: me!!

I’ve been thinking abt these for a while

sorry they’re very NY-centric 😿

oh yeah I’m alive btw

#wttt #wttsh #welcome to the statehouse #wttt new york #wttsh new york #wttsh headcanons #wttt headcanons #wttt incorrect quotes #wttsh incorrect quotes #wttt massachusetts #wttt new jersey #wttt gov #wttt main 5 #wttt pennsylvania #meow

[bisexualmultifandommess]

I love Hobbit fanfics where The Company finds out how old Bilbo is and get furious at Gandalf because they think they’ve accidentally brought a kid on a quest because of different ages in their cultures they’re so funny because Bilbo is just stood there like “I’m an adult 😒”

#the dwarves are like “that’s a child!!” #meanwhile bilbo is annoyed 24/7 with them during this #the hobbit #the hobbit fanfiction #fanfiction #bilbo baggins #hobbit culture #the company #gandalf #gandalf the grey

[mrkida-art]

Prince Balin of Durin's Folk

#my art #my doodles #did this as my warmup today haha #the hobbit #tolkien #lotr #dwarves #the lord of the rings #durin's folk #longbeards #balin #balin the dwarf #thorin's company #I love balin he is an absolute mad lad #did guy went to war as a child #then he went on two separate quests for erebor #why stop at two missions with high risk of death?? #LET'S ADD A THIRD #also I actually referenced old photos of ken stott for this #Made me realize that Balin was actually super well casted because he looks a bit like Thorin etc #the line of durin #the royal line of durin

[strawberri-draws]

A peek into my ,,, interesting sketchbook feat. Bertram and Lewis the Jack o lantern studies + OC fairytale huntsman whom I love

#my art #fanart #strawberridraws #oc #OCs art #my ocs #jesse #Bertram jesse #bertram #sketches #I’m. very excited about the oc ngl #he’s like. constantly running into stupid children in the Enchanted Forest and he’s like #is anybody gonna adopt these literal children #and so he takes them home to where he grew up with the 7 dwarves #starting with Snow White #she’s just like ‘:D I’m twelve and mom said that I need to go with you because she hates me’ #and the huntsman; newly ordered to murder this child for an absurd amount of gold that could feed his outcasted family that rescued him #as a feral orphan for weeks is just like ah shit I gotta adopt this child man #then he comes across Goldilocks and red riding hood Hansel and Gretel etc #until he’s just. swarmed with children #it’s kinda funny #haven’t decided who he romances or if he’s a single king yet #was thinking like. a gremlin ass rumplestilskin just cause it’d be funny #..anyways can y’all tell I watched once upon a time when I was like 13

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

Oh my gods just had my going away party at the pub and we had it in a special event room and it was all done up like Jesus’s last supper

I sat in the middle with a crown on and broke a roll of bread and spread it around and then I was showered in gifts and they even “borrowed” a podium from a church with holy water on it, but it was polluted river water instead (a staple of the town)

I have no idea what the fuck just happened but it was glorious, we all drank, I felt like Joffrey Baratheon in my golden crown and we took a final photo posed as the Last Supper

#man what a fucking hilarious night #I graciously accepted all gifts #knowing I’d already packed and had no possible space left so I’d have to discard most of them #there was also a metal goat I baptised and sacrificed at one point??? #man mountain people are weird #for context for those that aren’t caught up: #I am essentially a travelling bard Jaskier-esque vagabond type travelling the world with my cat #I got trapped up in these mountains for a year #but the town took me in #like their own child and pride and joy (became a local celebrity) #they’re all miners like the dwarves of erebor #and drink and act very much like said Tolkien dwarves #so #just imagine Jaskier getting stuck with the dwarves up in the mountains for a year but is ultimately made one of their own #before being given a hell of a feast and party at the local main tavern and inn as a going away/good luck on your travels gift

[sayaratyriea]

real reason i respect dungeon meshi is that it's the first RPG-esque fantasy anime I've seen that has halflings that aren't loli bait

#taz talks #it genuinely caught me by surprise #i thought chilchuk was like. a child or something. because i'm so used to anime never having small races that aren't dwarves #but no it seems like he's actually a halfling or gnome or smth #and that's nice #playing jube gave me a real soft spot for the small races

[invinciblerodent]

with all the ""breeding"" oriented confessions and posts popping up on my dash [because that's apparently what you freaks (affectionate) are into], it doesn't escape my notice that out of literally ALL the character combos I've dreamed up in the past ten years, only like two are actually, physically capable of any form of reproduction, and there's only one (Harwen and Josephine) that I hc has, reproduced, once. They have one daughter, and that's it.

There's only one couple like that in this game, and that's a pair of idiots I honestly cannot picture ever actually wanting/having kids.

Going down the list and ruling out all the obvious plumbing issues (and vampirism) literally only leaves me with Petyr and Shadowheart, which..... my cringefail son should not be anyone's dad. That's the kind of emotional trauma that makes future DnD characters.

I mean, parents of the year right there: the reclusive woodsman who voluntarily exiled himself to the forest for being such a bitch, and the woman raised in an abusive cult with zero idea of what a parent-child relationship is even like. Oh, and their sometimes-boyfriend, the one sorta halfway mentally stable adult in the whole equation... whose entire presence in their life is that he just occasionally drops by for a threesome and breakfast, maybe a few days up to a tenday, and then dips out for another few months. (Yeah, here comes your Uncle Halsin, he's come to teach you about the forest and to fuck your dad while your mom watches. Just the thought has me snort-laughing.)

Dungeons and Dragons? Naaaah. It's Damage and Daddy Issues.

#squirrel plays bg3 #i mean. Arvid and Gale are clearly out #Mara and Karlach are out.... for more reasons than just the obvious “being cis women” part #Ray is gay (u know it's true cause it rhymes) and so far I've only ever thrown him at cis men #I hc that vampire spawn are sterile- they can't reproduce via bite so it makes sense to me that they wouldn't otherwise be able to either #so Iona and Astarion are (thankfully) out (yeah they should not be parents either) #(their home would NOT be child-friendly) (partly because of him) (and in another big part because of her) #Phyr has only ever slept with one man and that was the literal god of revenge- otherwise she'll be with Lae'zel anyway #I would not in a million years have Adela bear half-qunari-half-dwarf children; that sounds beyond deadly #both my other dwarves -Arie and Vogar- are also in same sex relationships with Leliana and Zevran respectively #Leena is like. perimenopausal at least and probably not too hot on trying at this point; Blackwall is also up there in years #like 10 couples and one throuple; and they have all of the one offspring among all of them #this is saying a lot about me but i'm owning it #oc: petyr wildbrook

[vhenann]

evren doing a bunch of horrible things to save ferelden and she's seen as a hero by most but some see her as a monster thank u

#some of the things she did? not great #like in my first playthrough she killed connor a whole child #idk what i'm gonna do w the anvil on this playthrough yet but she could be possibly dooming innocent dwarves #i just. yeah #this is inspired by that 'when does a man become a monster' song #01. ↣『 ooc 』

[sunprophets]

rereading eragon & taking notes on it for fun and you can really tell this was written by a 15 yr old. like it’s quite apparent at times

#that being said i am so interested in some of the politics that are like mentioned Once. i wrote smth in my notes about how humans/elves are #positioned against the non-humanlike creatures (urgals and dwarves especially but also dragons) in a way that is so like.... hm! #also the fact that humans and elves are both non-native to alagaesia. the dragons and the dwarves were there first #and also brom mentions that people often downplay the role the dragons played in the whole Dragon Rider thing like people focus on the - #riders more than the dragons. which sort of ties into the thing about humanlike vs non humanlike creatures #and then obviously theres like the racism with how the urgals are handled. i havent reached parts where we actually meet the urgals yet but #still from what i rmr + the way they're already spoken of like even how durza thinks of them in the prologue. hm! #anyways. no point in thinking so deeply about this book series but i will be doing it regardless. #it is interesting 2 me! i love to pick apart the things i loved as a child #az.txt

[cosmic-walkers]

And Neradnis himself is just copy and paste of Annatar with Celebrimbor's features but he has such a different personality from both of them. He has a very human like personality and despite how he was created, he's very kind. Many are afraid fo him, because he looks so much like Sauron but he's still nice. Maitomiel is a bit more stern than he is. But she is just as hopeful. She looks a lot like Nerdanel, but with Sauron's eyes and Feanor's personality which can sometimes be not good. She lives with thinking that her father hated her and abandoned her, and while she doesn't hold it against him, she doesn't know that Celebrimbor would literally hide her with his hair, torn cape, armor of anything so she would never be found. When Celebrimbor is in Valinor, Nerdanis ends up finding Valinor and they reunite, but Celebrimbor sends Nerdanis to middle earth to find Maitomiel. He never heals until he finds her. She does end up returning to Valinor to meet him for the first time, yet only shortly as she has a kingdom she rules on ME. But she is very happy to see him and all his well.

#they can travel back and forth because they are maia #like when she leans into that part of her #she is unstoppable #same with nerdanis #i know i am rambling about them but im drawing them #nerdanis is more human that maito #but they are both good #and she lets a lot of people into her kingdom #it is a kingdom of elves - men- dwarves and even dragons who were enslaved by sauron and morgoth #and because she is a maia and very powerful she puts a veil on her kingdom so no one can find it #and i have one more hc about them #and who they meet #because you know if there is a celebrimbor/sauron family #there was also an angbang child at a point as well #and they exist but that's a can of worms #long story short they or probably she lives in maito's kingdom with her and they are close

[captainadwen]

where’s that post about how different races view elven gender

#i had a dream about it #maybe it only exists in the dream #it was like #men: think elves are very androgynous and skew towards female but also it is More Polite to call them all 'he' unless proven otherwise #dont wanna insult an elf lord but a maiden can shurg off misgendering etc etc #dwarves: straight up cannot tell if elves have genders or not bc most of the signaling for dwarves is in beard decorations #and since elves are beardless they mostly come across as particularly tall and lanky children #for politeness reasons they are all 'he' unless desired otherwise as would any dwarf encountered in the wild #but all dwarves internally still think of elves as 'that tall child with x y z hair color' #hobbits: the best at telling elf genders apart but most dont want anything to do with elves therfore they do not care #and thus mostly go neutral #elves: their genders are related to whether someone is a suparb baker or not and if someone ever explained to them that men spent long hours #wondering whats between their legs #they would laugh #the bonus was the ainur: can tell elven gender apart bc they Perceive the Fea #but also ainu consider bodies the same as a coat you can shrug off and on so do not Pay Attention to That It Is Only the Soul That Matters

[sabertoothwalrus]

half-foots are often mistaken for young tallmen or dwarves by people who don’t know about them.

But Chilchuck is like the 6’5” of half-foots. I wonder if he’s not even immune to that in half-foot communities. Like imagine you’re at the market and you see the tallest guy you ever saw. Like “holy shit he’s tall” tall. He’s a head taller than everyone else. APPARENTLY half-foots and tallmen can have fertile children. People probably constantly ask him if he’s half-tallman or half-dwarf. Maybe not dwarf cause he’s so skinny.

Chilchuck is also a middle child of 5 siblings. I wonder if his whole family is like that or if he’s just token beanpole. Man, the whiplash he must’ve felt the first time he went to a more diverse area and everyone started calling him small. no wonder he drinks

#dungeon meshi #chilchuck tims

[spacetrashpile]

talked to my friend about how empires s2 is haunted again and jesus christ

#space rambles #THINKING ABOUT THE EVERMOORE MAN #thinking about how the dwarves ghosts are the fog #thinking about how blood sausage said shelby looks like ‘a certain dwarf [he] once knew’ #thinking about how shelby’s the only person the dog treats with any sort of kindness #the first person in ages the fog didn’t consume #the first person perhaps ever the fog allowed to establish themselves #do you think it’s because she looks like shrub #do you think the dwarves were hoping and praying this was their long lost child finally come home #how do you think it felt when she asked the air ‘who’s shrub?’ #when the finally had to grapple with the fact that it’s not her #and it never was #and shrub is gone #do you ever think about the fact that she was just a kid #do you ever think about it

[misophoria]

woowww yeah i can't believe the sdv update has been out so long and most i've heard is that it's great and now that i'm finally trying to catch up with the content i'm finding out it gives me the icks. uhhhmmm.

#like. i can't buy leo being good enough at speaking english but adopting gibberish unstructured broken english due to being raised by birds #and then reverting to more proper english when the farmer interacts with him more #like. realistically for me the question would be do the birds know broken english because of leo or #because there were a native population of humans whose languages were not natively english but they picked up their own pidgin #and those people taught the birds that #like leo speaking Like That feels shoehorned if there's no context of native islanders being there and being an influence #like. oh so joja is bad for coming here to pelican town and trying to take over the local economy at the expense of the local community #but it's ok for the farmer to do the same bc hey conveniently nobody is here except for white people who are free not to abide by #any culture different to theirs #an any natives are actually just the nonhuman dwarve race same as the guy u see in the mines so it's fine #meanwhile the entire aesthetic of the island and the trope of the stranded western child and western archeologist #are reminiscent of exploitation films!!! #it's a bad taste in my mouth and i'm in like. highkey disbelief

[moonlit-solace]

so the silmarillion is really good and I really like aulë thank u for making the dwarves ily

#count wordulas #i know the themes are different but it also had binding of isaac vibes #like god making u kill your beloved child #and then being like nvmnd #but tbh god was more fucking with abraham to test him whereas iluvatar was like sparing the Dwarves because he thought they werent realized #a beautiful moment when he saw they were #also melkor is super annoying too #imagine u decorate ur bedroom akd then this dude comes in and tears down your poster and yells GET FUKT #thats melkor #lotr