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lizardtheacorn · 1 month

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Nevada (talking about New Jersey) : I have to find my darling husband! I’m so worried about him!

Arizona : Seriously, what do you see in that guy?

Nevada : He makes me laugh.

#wttt #wttsh #welcome to the statehouse #welcome to the table #wttt nevada #wttsh nevada #wttt new jersey #wttsh new jersey #wttt arizona #wttsh arizona #wttt incorrect quotes #wttsh incorrect quotes

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goldengay49 · 3 months

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Texas: unlike yall, I was a country before I was a state!

Vermont: hey…

Florida: west Florida republic…?

California: i got drunk and declared independence for like a month

Washington: I’m currently reading about different indigenous nations

Hawai’i (from Alaskas room): i was literally a whole kingdom

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speaks-ny · 5 months

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*PA aggressively banging a calculator on the table because it’s broken*

Mass: Stop it.

PA: It’s not working!

Mass: How would you feel if I banged you on the table!

Mass:

PA:

Mass:

#wttt massachusetts #wttt #wttt pennsylvania #wttt pa #wttsh massachusetts #wttsh pa #wttsh incorrect quotes #ben brainard #wttt incorrect #wttt incorrect quotes #incorrect states

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stawpny · 12 days

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Gov, after New York said something completely out of pocket: I sometimes wonder what goes on in your head. It keeps me up at night.

New York: I don’t like that you think about that.

(pause)

New York, again: I don’t like that you think about me.

—

(1950’s)

Massachusetts: No, York, you can’t do that, fucking dumbass

New York, really quickly: onlyredbloodedcommunistssaywhat

Massachusetts, puzzled: what?

New York: HE’S A COMMUNIST!! HIM!

—

Random Person: I can show you a magic trick!

Massachusetts: Really? Show me.

Random Person: Is this your card?

Massachusetts, horrified and frantically pointing at the person: WITCH!! WITCH!

—

Young New Jersey: Well, York’s got a bad case of “stupid disease” that unfortunately gets worse as the days go on.

Pennsylvania, almost losing it: What?

Young New York: Stop telling everyone I’m stupid! I am not stupid-

Young New York: OHMYGODAKITTY!!

Young New Jersey, overdramatic : What did I say? It’s so hard to see such a young child suffer.

—

Gov: Tell me truthfully, how old do I look?

California, a people pleaser: You look not a day older than 24!

Texas, an honest soul: Around 32-ish?

Florida, the one who’s whole purpose is to flex his age: You look like you’re 10 to me.

Louisiana, who is too drunk to say anything relatively normal: Uh.. 53! Yeah!

New York, too tired to care: You look fine. Can we get back to the meeting now?

—

New York, boasting about his height: You wouldn’t believe what it’s like to live with these short fuckers.

New York: I mean just look at them!

New York: It’s like im Snow White with the.. *counting* 9, sometimes 10, little dwarves. And they’re all the grumpy one!

New York, arguing: You about the same size of one of “Santa’s Little Helper” yet you don’t even help the fatass!

New York, still: You fucking elves. Go make toys or something.

—

credits: me!!

I’ve been thinking abt these for a while

sorry they’re very NY-centric 😿

oh yeah I’m alive btw

#wttt #wttsh #welcome to the statehouse #wttt new york #wttsh new york #wttsh headcanons #wttt headcanons #wttt incorrect quotes #wttsh incorrect quotes #wttt massachusetts #wttt new jersey #wttt gov #wttt main 5 #wttt pennsylvania #meow

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fishbones-braineater · 2 years

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Florida: Being gay isnt a choice.

California: Florida thats actually really-

Florida: Its a game, and im winning.

Louisiana: mais sha you gon make me cry❣️

California: of course...

#california #Florida #louisiana #wttt #wttt florida #wttt california #wttt louisiana #california wttsh #louisiana wttsh #florida wttsh #wttt incorrect quotes #wttsh incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #florida x Louisiana

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icestarphoenix · 6 months

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Taste Test

t- themb.. .,.

#welcome to the table #welcome to the statehouse #ben brainard #wttt #wttsh #my art #isp’s sketchy situations #wttt florida #wttt louisiana #incorrect quotes

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abcwordsurge · 2 months

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Utah: In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost-

New Mex: Head, shoulders, knees, and toes-

Arizona: Turn up your nose and strike that pose-

Colorado: HEYYYYY MACARENA!!!

#wttt #welcome to the table #wttt incorrect quotes #wttt utah #wttt new mexico #wttt arizona #wttt colorado #wttsh #welcome to the statehouse

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madzistired · 2 months

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Texas: *bursts in* WHO REPLACED THE DEFINITION OF DISASTER WITH MY NAME IN ALL THE DICTIONARIES?!?!

Oklahoma to Arkansas: Wait… He can read???

#wttt texas #wttt oklahoma #wttt arkansas #i don’t know #wttt incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #wttt #wttsh

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kaz-playz · 3 months

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Texas: *looking around his room with a closed and locked door to see if anyones around*

Texas: *puts on his glittery red cowboy hat and matching sunglasses*

Texas: Oh me, Oh my.

#welcome to the statehouse #welcome to the table #wttsh #wttt #ben brainard #wttsh texas #incorrect quotes

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poison-marshmellow · 3 months

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New York: I think California is in trouble.

Nevada : Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.

#When your best friend hates your partner #wttt #wttt new york #wttt nevada #welcome to the table #welcome to the statehouse #wttsh #ben brainard #incorrect quotes #wttt california #wttt shipping #caliyork #wttt caliyork

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distinguishedwitchparadise · 3 months

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louisiana: You know, people treat me like a god.  Gov: How?  louisiana: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

California: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

California: No thanks.  California: I'm god.

New York: You’re such a dumbass (affectionate).  louisiana: Aww, you’re such a whore (complimentary).  California: How are you talking like that in real life?  louisiana: Witchcraft (derogatory).

Florida: I’m quick at math.  Texas: Ok, what’s 38 times 76?  Florida: 24.  Texas: That wasn’t even close.  Florida: But it was quick.

New York: Texas, fuck off.  New York: And by "fuck off" I mean "fuck off right back here and listen", you insufferable prick.

#welcome to the table #wttt #welcome to the statehouse #ben brainard #wttsh #wttt california #wttsh california #wttt new york #wttt florida #wttsh new york #wttt texas #wttt louisiana #wttsh louisiana #wttt shipping #wttsh texas #wttsh gov #wttsh florida #incorrect wttt #wttt incorrect quotes

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lizardtheacorn · 2 months

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Utah: No matter what I do, no one at the Statehouse wants to be friends with me :((

Nevada: Yea I literally can’t relate to that problem at all, but you know who no one likes!?

Nevada: Hey, Cali!!

California: First of all, how dare you-

#this just felt right #and very canon #wttt #wttsh #welcome to the statehouse #welcome to the table #wttt utah #wttsh utah #wttt nevada #wttsh nevada #wttt california #wttsh california #wttt incorrect quotes #wttsh incorrect quotes

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goldengay49 · 4 months

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California: “i just don’t get the deal with sweet tea”

California: *sips boba*

#wttt #wttt fandom #welcome to the table #welcome to the statehouse #wttt california #wttt headcanons #wttt fanfic #wttt texas #wttt florida #wttt new york #wttsh #wttsh california #wttt incorrect quotes #wttsh incorrect quotes

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milokissa707 · 4 months

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Alaska being woken up by a ruckus and light in the kitchen, open garage door, a views upon a very clearly just woken up California, who is just murmuring to themself.

Alaska: Hay, ca-

Cal in a low, murmuring voice: The bear was late for his plane in the bearport.

Alaska: Wha-

Cal standing up now and looking at Alaska: In my dream, the bear was late for the bearport. What could that possibly mean?

Alaska walking back to his garage: I think I’m gonna go back to sleep.