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#wttsh incorrect quotes
lizardtheacorn · 1 month
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Nevada (talking about New Jersey) : I have to find my darling husband! I’m so worried about him!
Arizona : Seriously, what do you see in that guy?
Nevada : He makes me laugh.
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goldengay49 · 3 months
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Texas: unlike yall, I was a country before I was a state!
Vermont: hey…
Florida: west Florida republic…?
California: i got drunk and declared independence for like a month
Washington: I’m currently reading about different indigenous nations
Hawai’i (from Alaskas room): i was literally a whole kingdom
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speaks-ny · 5 months
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*PA aggressively banging a calculator on the table because it’s broken*
Mass: Stop it.
PA: It’s not working!
Mass: How would you feel if I banged you on the table!
Mass:
PA:
Mass:
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stawpny · 12 days
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Gov, after New York said something completely out of pocket: I sometimes wonder what goes on in your head. It keeps me up at night.
New York: I don’t like that you think about that.
(pause)
New York, again: I don’t like that you think about me.
(1950’s)
Massachusetts: No, York, you can’t do that, fucking dumbass
New York, really quickly: onlyredbloodedcommunistssaywhat
Massachusetts, puzzled: what?
New York: HE’S A COMMUNIST!! HIM!
Random Person: I can show you a magic trick!
Massachusetts: Really? Show me.
Random Person: Is this your card?
Massachusetts, horrified and frantically pointing at the person: WITCH!! WITCH!
Young New Jersey: Well, York’s got a bad case of “stupid disease” that unfortunately gets worse as the days go on.
Pennsylvania, almost losing it: What?
Young New York: Stop telling everyone I’m stupid! I am not stupid-
Young New York: OHMYGODAKITTY!!
Young New Jersey, overdramatic : What did I say? It’s so hard to see such a young child suffer.
Gov: Tell me truthfully, how old do I look?
California, a people pleaser: You look not a day older than 24!
Texas, an honest soul: Around 32-ish?
Florida, the one who’s whole purpose is to flex his age: You look like you’re 10 to me.
Louisiana, who is too drunk to say anything relatively normal: Uh.. 53! Yeah!
New York, too tired to care: You look fine. Can we get back to the meeting now?
New York, boasting about his height: You wouldn’t believe what it’s like to live with these short fuckers.
New York: I mean just look at them!
New York: It’s like im Snow White with the.. *counting* 9, sometimes 10, little dwarves. And they’re all the grumpy one!
New York, arguing: You about the same size of one of “Santa’s Little Helper” yet you don’t even help the fatass!
New York, still: You fucking elves. Go make toys or something.
credits: me!!
I’ve been thinking abt these for a while
sorry they’re very NY-centric 😿
oh yeah I’m alive btw
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Florida: Being gay isnt a choice.
California: Florida thats actually really-
Florida: Its a game, and im winning.
Louisiana: mais sha you gon make me cry❣️
California: of course...
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icestarphoenix · 6 months
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Taste Test
t- themb.. .,.
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abcwordsurge · 2 months
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Utah: In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost-
New Mex: Head, shoulders, knees, and toes-
Arizona: Turn up your nose and strike that pose-
Colorado: HEYYYYY MACARENA!!!
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madzistired · 2 months
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Texas: *bursts in* WHO REPLACED THE DEFINITION OF DISASTER WITH MY NAME IN ALL THE DICTIONARIES?!?!
Oklahoma to Arkansas: Wait… He can read???
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kaz-playz · 3 months
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Texas: *looking around his room with a closed and locked door to see if anyones around*
Texas: *puts on his glittery red cowboy hat and matching sunglasses*
Texas: Oh me, Oh my.
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poison-marshmellow · 3 months
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New York: I think California is in trouble.
Nevada : Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.
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louisiana: You know, people treat me like a god. 
Gov: How? 
louisiana: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
California: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.
California: No thanks. 
California: I'm god.
New York: You’re such a dumbass (affectionate). 
louisiana: Aww, you’re such a whore (complimentary). 
California: How are you talking like that in real life? 
louisiana: Witchcraft (derogatory).
Florida: I’m quick at math. 
Texas: Ok, what’s 38 times 76? 
Florida: 24. 
Texas: That wasn’t even close. 
Florida: But it was quick.
New York: Texas, fuck off. 
New York: And by "fuck off" I mean "fuck off right back here and listen", you insufferable prick.
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lizardtheacorn · 2 months
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Utah: No matter what I do, no one at the Statehouse wants to be friends with me :((
Nevada: Yea I literally can’t relate to that problem at all, but you know who no one likes!?
Nevada: Hey, Cali!!
California: First of all, how dare you-
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goldengay49 · 4 months
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California: “i just don’t get the deal with sweet tea”
California: *sips boba*
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milokissa707 · 4 months
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Alaska being woken up by a ruckus and light in the kitchen, open garage door, a views upon a very clearly just woken up California, who is just murmuring to themself.
Alaska: Hay, ca-
Cal in a low, murmuring voice: The bear was late for his plane in the bearport.
Alaska: Wha-
Cal standing up now and looking at Alaska: In my dream, the bear was late for the bearport. What could that possibly mean?
Alaska walking back to his garage: I think I’m gonna go back to sleep.

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floridasnatural · 3 months
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California: fuck the government! I hate it!
Florida, jokingly, while looking at Gov: okay I’ll fuck the government
Gov, surprised: Oh!
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Texas, to californa: For somone so concerned about polution and good air, you sure do waste alot of oxygen yappin yer mouth.
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