#that's right everyone look at it afar so you cannot see the mistakes....

[fukashiin]

how they admire you from afar

— w. ace, deuce, floyd, kalim, jamil

⤷ times when they stare at you and think "wow theyre pretty"

ACE TRAPPOLA

- you? beautiful? him staring at you because of it?

- audacious. seriously

- he stares at you so much and he hates YOUR guts for it somehow

- like why do you have to look so breathtaking when doing the most ordinary of tasks? do you WANT him to stare at you? (not like you’re aware of how much he does anyway)

- and you miss the salty side eye he gives to the previous person you were talking to

- fail to notice the subtle pouts he sends your way and he ignores you back for the next week

- like literally what is his problem

- but the time he spends trying to “ignore” you doesn’t last for long

- because. you don’t know. how beautiful you are in his eyes.

- scribbles the most illegible notes down in his journal back in his dorm because he just can’t get rid of the sight of your face (no human is supposed to be that pretty. he’s just being ridiculous)

- posts weirdly ominous captions on his magicam stories about how “he’s going to lose it” or “how can someone be THAT blind?” 

- he removed you from his close friends just so you couldn’t view it

- and he’s still wondering why you aren't taking the hint? ace please wake up you're going to harvard

- the next day is his basketball tournament. you were invited

- and the moment he was about to shoot the ball through the basket, he saw you amongst the crowd, cheering for him, yelling his name, encouraging him to score a point for NRC’s team

- he misses the shot with his hand a centimeter away from the basket and the ball bounces off the ring

- the whistle blows and the tension falls off of everyone’s shoulders

- he’s not ashamed in the least. in fact he was still focusing on you. why did you look so confused? head tilted and everything? now is not the time to distract him when he’s in a tournament you know? this is a very important day for him and he absolutely cannot miss this shot.

- he comes back to his senses when both teams that were competing against each other disappeared from the ring. only turns out it was time to take a break and he was informed of his foolish mistake 

- he sees you running up to him, scoffs, and turns away

- why do you have to put him through so much? just when will you notice his dumb advances towards you?

- but all his thoughts dissipate into thin air when you smile at him so sweetly and reassure him that he’ll do better the next round

- he really hates you

- and he’s really down bad for you

DEUCE SPADE

- no. he can’t accept this. he won’t accept this. what happened to his first priority to become NRC’s notable honour student?

- stage 1: denial

- his gaze settles on you entirely, while you’re taking notes in class and you’re unaware of a hungry gaze that burns into the back of your head

- deuce then realises that he’s been balancing on the front two legs of his seat this entire time

- slips and hits his chin directly on the edge of the desk when mr. crewel calls out his name

- pull out the bandages with my melody characters cutely printed onto them, he’s going to need it 

- but when your hands come in contact with his skin

- he absolutely

- FOLDS

- “let me bandage it up for you” you said. “i promise it won’t hurt one bit” you SAID

- stares at you the whole time while you’re focused on cleaning his bruise (caused by you)

- he takes notice of the bandages and feels the childish tears pricking at his eyes (caused by you)

- mutters a weak ‘thank you’ once you’re done and when you push your hair back to get rid of the accumulated sweat on your forehead, he feels an arrow shooting right through his heart

- can he blame you? everything you do is just so seemingly flawless and attractive that he can’t help but wonder if he’s truly worthy of your attention. after all, you are aware of his past 

- spams his mother’s phone once he’s back at the dorm in the evening, telling her that there’s this person who’s so drop-dead gorgeous that he can’t get them out of his mind and he’s begging her, asking her what he should do with such unfamiliar feelings that poke at his heart

- except ms spade was probably dealing with a workload that evening and had her notifications off for the entire day (and probably forgot in the process so she’s worried about his son not texting her for one whole day)

- they’re bothj so silly

- the next couple of days fly by, same as ever, with deuce admiring your features at the other side of the table while you help wipe the crumbs off of grim’s face during lunch

- his entire thought process was just about how dreamy you were, he’s so lovestruck it’s insane

- and great seven does he thank them above for being able to live this day

- because you suddenly remembered that your fridge back at ramshackle dorm was out of stock

- so you offered deuce this golden opportunity to head to sam’s store together to help shop for missing groceries that you desperately needed to fill your fridge again 

- he snaps out of his own thoughts and nods his head. violently. was he trying to mimic those bobble head figures?

- you were content and looked at him with that killer-smile

- instant K.O

- ace watches from the sidelines and gets up to purchase another deluxe steak hamburger that the cafeteria was handing out for a limited time

FLOYD LEECH

- completely ditches his work at mostro lounge just to sit at the booth you’re at to stare at you

- he doesn’t even say anything

- he just stares

- maybe even twirls a lil strand of your hair if you consent to that

- and he’s completely head-over-heels for you. but who knows that other than jade and azul thanks to their gifted intuition? not you, for all they know

- absolute menace

- casually slings an arm around your shoulders, wrap his arms around your waist from behind-he does all of these and starts a countdown out of nowhere for the person that you were conversing with to get away from the two of you

- you: (　ﾟдﾟ) Floyd: (*^ω^*)

- what’s that about personal space??? yeah he has zero idea of what that is while he continues staring at you

- your lips to be specific.

- every part of you just seems so-pretty? whenever you two have mixed classes together all his thoughts go right through the window and you’re the only thing that his eyes see

- leaves the classroom feeling pretty goofy. slacks his arms behind his head and accidentally whacks a student right in the face with his elbow

- hallway chases are nothing new

- you have to run twice as fast as you do in PE

- he justt thinks you’re so cute the nicknames are endless

- “my adorable shrimpy” “my cutesy little sherbet in a cup” “my one and only mike wazowski”

- they’re not even related to sea animals anymore

- revoke his pet name privileges please

KALIM-AL-ASIM

- smitten the moment he makes eye contact with you

- menace number #2 (lovingly)

- what’s wrong? you don’t want a costly chandelier installed in ramshackle’s lounge? Funny! kalim does not bother and your complaints fall on deaf ears

- cups his cheeks in his hands and kicks his legs while he watches you from afar like a little high school girl

- he has a big fat crush on you and he isn’t afraid to show it

- INSISTS jamil that they should bring back every traditional cuisine from their hometown for you to try out

- sends unprofessionally written love letters onto ramshackle’s doorstep when he’s away for the holidays (jamil modified some parts of the letter to not make it too hard to understand)

- think his only love language is giving gifts? absolutely not. doesn’t even know what the five love languages are but masters them all (and it doesn't even take him any strenuous effort)

- rambles to jamil about how beautiful you are during lunch. proceeds to even make an hour-long powerpoint presentation to show to his 30 younger siblings back at home with low-quality images downloaded from shutterstock.

- “how pretty are they?” “are you two going to get married?” “can i see them in person some time? I’ll be nice!”

- no you did NOT give him permission. but you’re okay with that. you love him too much to scold him anyway<333 

- one time you were invited to scarabia’s dorm where they were holding a large banquet (kalim sat beside you and mindlessly kept placing portions of food from the table onto your own plate-it started overflowing you HAD to stop him from grabbing the tongs)

- by the time everything was settled, you went back to your own dorm to get a goodnight’s rest

- but kalim was so adamant on not letting you go that a student from his dorm basically had to rip him off of your figure 

- he loves you and your cute face so much 

- scratch that he loves everything about you from head to toe

- when he was back in his room daydreaming about you, he heard the door burst open

- turns out it was jamil needing to inform him about the upcoming dorm leader meeting happening the next day

- kalim accidentally called him “teddy bear” thinking it was you who decided to come back and give him a farewell kiss

- jamil took his first shot that day

JAMIL VIPER

- jamil viper is not like the other guys

- no he’s different

- he stubbornly pushes all his surfacing feelings down and outwardly ignores the elephant in the room!

- which is his abrupt crush on you

- but seriously-he has no idea what to do

- when you offered to help him make dishes for the next dorm feast scarabia was having

- he couldn’t stop staring at the way your hands handled the kitchen utensils so effortlessly 

- and how you looked so laser focused on chopping the ingredients with beads of sweat starting to form on your forehead

- he’s DEFINITELY not into you at all. there’s nothing outstanding about you. he does not think you’re even pretty in the least. (press X to doubt)

- kalim takes notice frustratingly quick and suddenly he’s not a dorm leader anymore but a persuasive wingman

- kalim: you like them right??? do you want me to confess to them for you???? i promise i wont make you look stupid!

- jamil: PLEASE STO

- but when you start to become aware of the subtle signs and how he’s much more softer when it comes to you, jamil assures you that you had no fault in this at all and he’s stupid for letting such affection get to his head

- “It’s not you, it’s me.”

- (he secretly tells himself that it is kind of you because you’re just too charming to take his eyes off of??? inflexible much)

- but he still continues to stare at you. he doesn’t even know if it’s out of pure habit or if he’s just shameless anymore (news flash: it’s both)

- throw your personality into the mix and he’s very much in love

- and you were kind enough to not pay mind to it. when you do notice and call him out-he’s flushed. he’s flustered. bro ascended.

- and when you do accept his feelings, he’s relieved. he even offers to cook for you every day 24/7. and you’re rather surprised at his ability to balance all his responsibilities on his shoulders without a single slip up.

- sometimes kalim would walk with you guys in the hallway when arriving to your locker to pick up some books for your next lesson. jamil doesnt particularly mind but

- why does it feel like he’s the one who’s third wheeling?

- but in all honesty, he doesn’t mind in the least

- because he knew that you reciprocate his feelings so sincerely-and he’s grateful for it.

- mega W if you start dating jamil you won in life

#i had way too much fun writing this #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst imagines #ace trappola x reader #deuce spade x reader #floyd leech x reader #kalim al asim x reader #jamil viper x reader #ace trappola #deuce spade #floyd leech #kalim al asim #jamil viper

[weemsfreak]

Botany...Of Course, Pt 3

Larissa Weems x OCTeacher

Tw: alcohol comsumption

Note: As requested here is part 3!! Thank you to everyone who reads and shares their thoughts! I was thinking about maybeee taking requests if anyone has some, but the thing about me is when I like a fic idea, I cannot make it short, I want to make a whole story out of it lol

~3500 words, Enjoy :) @alder-saan @i-love-nerdy-stuff @digital-demise @im-a-carnivorous-plant

Link to Pt 2

Saturday

You awoke to the sun shining in from the curtains, almost blinding you in the process. You were alone, Larissa's conference must have already started. You opened the doors to the balcony, the fresh smell of the plants hit you and made you feel really awake. You figured you'd venture to  the gym and grab a quick shower. You got ready to go out to the second garden, you were excited to see if you could find any other interesting plants. Grabbing a coffee and a cinnamon bun, you sat on a bench amongst the trees. You looked up at some balcony's across the river. There was a large balcony, it looked like it could be a restaurant. You spotted someone who was very tall, pale, and dressed so elegantly. Ah, must be the stately sequoia tree herself. You smiled, she looked so content. She was talking to a woman while having a bite to eat. You were glad she got away from Nevermore, even if just for a few days. You couldn't believe she liked women. She was just so put together, and feminine, and proper, and honestly, if you didn’t know her, from afar she kind of looked like she would be against it. You laughed, what stupid stereotypes. Okay, maybe she should know that you like women too. Would that make her more comfortable or more uncomfortable around you? You didn't know. You will tell her when you feel it is right. You thought about the events of last night. Somehow, you had almost forgotten what had happened. How could you forget something so crazy, so traumatizing, so sad. You didn't want Larissa to be sad any longer, she didn't deserve that. Every minute you thought about erasing that memory for her, you convinced yourself a little bit more. You spent the day studying more plants, and planned a relaxing evening for you and Larissa, hoping she would be up for it.

Her conference was done a bit earlier than yesterday. She came in and plopped down on her bed, the same as the day before. She was wearing her grey dress with the belt that cinched her waist perfectly. God damn, you tried not to stare, again. "Are you tired Larissa?" She took a minute to sit up, but she lit up when she looked at you. "Well I am a bit, but we're on vacation. Did you have something in mind?" Truthfully, you had lots of things in mind that you wanted to do with Larissa, but you thought one thing would be particularly relaxing. Well, a couple things would, but one was a safter option. Sitting up quickly and turning to her, you were obviously drunk. You had a few drinks again waiting for her, what else were you to do alone? She laughed at your expression, your face lit up with excitement. "Do you want to go...to the waterpark?" Her expression softened, that's not what she was expecting you to ask. "They have a pool, a floaty river, and a hot tub with a bar!" You looked so excited, how could she say no. "I would love to Peyton, but I didn’t bring a swim suit" she said, trailing off when admitting her mistake. You frowned instantly. You thought for a minute, then had a fabulous idea. "Let's go buy you one!" you beamed at her, giddy from thinking about her in a bathing suit. Calm down, you told yourself, don't act too intrigued. She pondered for a minute, but the look on her face told you she had already made up her mind. "Okay, let's go" she said quickly, getting up and grabbing your hand.

At the mall, there were so many stores to choose a bathing suit from. You both ended up in a really fancy store that looked like you could never afford anything in there. As Larissa went to the bathing suits, you scanned your eyes over a price tag. You gasped when you saw the price of a skirt, and you quickly looked around hoping nobody heard and knew how broke you were. Larissa heard, and she walked over to you, laughing. She laid a gentle hand on your back, "Don't worry darling, if you want anything I can get it for you." Jeeze, she wasn't your sugar mommy, but if she wanted to be…just joking. You followed her to the swim suits, and she picked out a two piece white one, a two piece light blue one, and a one piece nude coloured one. You thought they would all look stunning on her, but you secretly wished she would get the white one. "I'm going to try them on" she hollered over to you. "Okay, let me know which you choose." "Why don’t you help me pick one out?" she cooed at you, and your eyes widened as you ran to her, following to the dressing room.

Of course you were right, they were all stunning on her. As she tried them on and presented them to you, it took everything in you to keep your mouth from dropping open or from getting giddy. Every time she would show you one, you grinned wide and blushed, trying to hide it by looking away or fiddling with your hands or tucking your hair behind your ear. You didn't realize until now how tall Larissa really was, how long her legs were, how flawless her pale skin was, the freckles on her arms. She noticed you blushing each time she came out of the dressing room, but she just thought it was adorable that you found her pretty. When she came out in the white suit, you weren't sitting outside of the room anymore. You were over looking at clothes, trying to distract yourself from her. Why did you think swimming would be a good idea? You didn't think you would get so flustered just from seeing her in a swim suit, what is wrong with you Peyton! "Peyton, do you want to see this one?" she called from the changing rooms. Honestly you did, but at the same time you didn't. You walked back to the change rooms and this time you couldn't stop your jaw from actually dropping. She was wearing the white suit, top coming to tie around her neck showing her cleavage, and high wasted bottoms with a belt. The metal parts were gold and it came with a long white cover up. This was definitely a Larissa outfit. You caught yourself and slammed your hand over your mouth, looking to her face and quickly mumbling a sorry. She laughed loudly, a genuine Larissa laugh. Well, at least she found your doting over her amusing and not creepy. "So I take it you like this one?" You took your hand from your mouth and put on a straight face, "Larissa I- this suit was definitely made for you, and only you, holy-." She giggled and walked over to you, grabbing your hands and leaning in to whisper, "How are we going to go swimming if you can't keep your composure over seeing me in a swim suit?" You were frozen from her proximity, and so embarrassed, even though you knew she had noticed your fluster. "I didn't think of that when I suggested it" you mumbled to her, a lie. She took your face in her hands and gave you a cute smile with a scrunch of her nose, turned, and went to get changed.

Back at the hotel room, you were putting on your swim suit. Black, the opposite of hers, like a Ying yang, but different. Stepping out in to the room, Larissa handed you a glass of wine from her bed and paused to stare at you in your swim suit. She giggled, took your hand, and twirled you around, looking you over. You knew she was doing this because you were admiring her earlier, so you laughed. "Oh Peyton, this swimsuit looks divine on you darling." Divine, that's a new one you thought. Blushing, you sat next to her on her bed. She was watching some fashion show, so you watched with her. You looked at her, her hair all done up, makeup still perfect. "How are you going to swim with your hair done up and makeup on?" She looked down at you with a straight face. "I just won't get wet, only my body goes in the water." This sent you into a fit of laughter, you didn't know why, probably just the way she said it. You were lying on the bed laughing, trying not to spill your wine. She started laughing at you, "Peyton what's so funny?" she chirped. You composed yourself and sat up, "Larissa it's not as fun if you don't go all in, you have to at least take your hair out." The truth was Larissa didn't let people see her with no makeup often. Her hair wasn't that big of a deal, but she only felt sophisticated and pretty when she was done up. She looked at you, a slight frown on her face. "What's wrong? Do you not want people seeing you not done up?" She smiled a bit at this, as if you read her mind. She pondered for a minute. You were so gentle and kind to her. Really, you both didn’t know each other well, but she felt like you would never judge her. "Will you take the pins out of my hair?" she said in such a low tone you almost didn't know what she said. You smiled and turned to look her in the eyes, "Of course, if that's what you actually want, you don't have to Larissa." She looked back at you, and gave a quiet "Please." You moved your hands up to her hair and found the pins, removing them slowly. It must feel so much better to have her hair down after it being up so long. You watched as her hair fell, wavy and reaching past her shoulders. It was longer than you thought it would be, and softer, like silk. You put a hand under her hair and ran your fingers through the back of her head, giving her light scratches. She smiled and leaned into it, sipping her wine. You took her in, so casually just sitting here watching tv, but she looked ethereal, she always did. You were so caught up in her beauty that you only half realized when you slipped a "Larissa, you're absolutely beautiful." You took your hand away from her hair and went wide eyed. She definitely thought you were too much now. You didn't want her to think you were trying to pick her up, you were just in awe over her. She looked you in the eyes and tilted her head to the side. As you went to mumble a 'sorry, I didn't mean to say that aloud', she spoke questioningly, "Really?"  Of course she was, everyone who laid their eyes on her must have thought that. Maybe they thought it, but never had the guts to say it. You barley had the guts to tell her, you did by accident.

You felt sad by the way she questioned you, but took this as an opportunity to make her believe it as true. "Yes, of course I do, one hundred percent yes. You must know that you are, people must tell you all the time" you said with a hopeful smile. "No, not really" she looked down at the wine in her lap. "Well, maybe nobody ever tells you because you can be intimidating" you let out a giggle and put your finger under her chin, turning her face to you "but I know everyone thinks it, and I'm telling you that you are stunning, with your hair done and without, with makeup on and without." She was smiling now, you hoped it was sincere, you hoped she at least half believed you. She drank the rest of her wine and put the glass down. She turned toward you and wrapped her arms around you, pulling you in to rest her head in your neck. You felt so comfortable, so content, so at peace, and you couldn't wipe the smile off of your face if someone tried. She let you go after a minute and you were immediately cold. She looked at you with glistening eyes and cupped your face with her hand. "Thank you Peyton, for making me feel comfortable with you." This made your heart swell, all you wanted was for her to have a friend that she could be herself around. "Of course pretty girl. Do you want to go to the waterpark now?" you gave her a genuine smile. She shook her head excitedly and you were on your way.

You were floating down the lazy river behind her. She looked so relaxed, and you were having so much fun. You had never been on a lazy river before. As you floated, you looked at the scenery. There were plants polluting the water park like the rest of the hotel, but there were also a lot of kids. You swam closer to her, trying to float faster to reach her. You caught up to her and looked at her, laughing as you said "beep, beep" and rushed past her. As you floated in front of her now, you turned around to admire her, your head resting on your hands. She laughed at you, admiring you back. You gave her a smirk and batted your eyelashes, and she winked at you. You blushed and turned away from her, trying to float faster away, what a flirt.

As Larissa settled in the pool, you went to the bar to order your drinks. You got in with her and started swimming around. There were only two other girls in the pool, so you almost had it to yourselves. Out of nowhere, Larissa splashed you. You couldn't believe she had been so bold. You looked at her, drenched, and walked up to her slowly as she backed away. "NO, not my hair" she stated while backing away from you. "Ah, ah, that's not fair, you started it." You were right, she did start it. You felt bad ruining her makeup or getting her hair wet, but she let you take it down, so she was comfortable, right? You splashed her, but not as much as she had splashed you. She let out a squeal, and you instantly swam away. You knew she would get her revenge. "Drinks are ready" the bartender hollered, setting them on the counter. You got out to get them and brought them back to the pool. "Don't splash me now, you'll ruin the drinks" you warned, and she listened. As soon as you put your drink down at the side of the pool, Larissa caught you off guard and splashed you again. You let out a squeal this time and lunged yourself at her. You wrapped your arms around her waist and knocked her over, ducking her whole head under the water by accident. You helped her resurface and then froze, you were so scared. That's not what you meant to do, but she would never believe you. "OH shit, I'm so sorry Larissa, I actually didn't mean to do that" you pleaded, hoping she wouldn’t drown you. She grabbed your face and you were scared for your life, but she started laughing, like she was having a blast. Her mascara was running a bit now, but her lipstick was still perfect. She was so gorgeous like this, having fun and not caring about her appearance. You wiped the mascara from under her eyes, and scrunched your nose up to give her a cute face.

As you did this, you got closer to her. While she was laughing, you caught a distant but snarky "What are they, girlfriends?" from one of the other girls in the pool. You ignored it, so focused on Larissa. "Ew, I hope not, she is way too old for her anyway." Yep, you heard what you thought you did, and this time, Larissa heard it too. She glared at them, still holding your face in her hands. You couldn't turn to look at them because of this, so you just stared at her. "Excuse me, are you talking about us?" she sneered at them, you got nervous. One of them started with her. "Yea, we were talking about you, what are you anyway, gay?" You became increasingly more angry and moved away from Larissa's grip. What the hell is wrong with them, it's 2023. Larissa slowly moved closer to them, "I'll have you know that I am gay in fact, and I'd appreciate it if you would leave me alone." You were about to back her up when you remembered that you weren't out to Larissa yet. You opened your mouth but closed it quickly. "What's wrong with your little girlfriend there, she can't speak for herself?" Not wanting to drag you into this, Larissa started "They shouldn't have to speak to immature bigots like you, and anyway, they're not my-." "Baby, it's okay, let's just enjoy ourselves" you walked over to her, grabbing her arm and trying to force her away from them. "Yea, listen to what your little girl says" one of them stated and both of them snickered. You would let them make fun of you, but you'd kill them for taking digs at Larissa and her age. "You know, I bet you both that I can steal your drinks from behind you there without coming withing 10 feet of you. If I can't, we will leave. If I can, you have to watch me kiss my girlfriend." You said this with the most bold tone you think you have ever used. You stared them down, then looked up at Larissa when she grabbed your hand. She was wide eyed and tilted her head in question, she didn't know why you were trying to defend her by pretending to be her girlfriend. "You don't have to do this" she whispered in your ear. "Do you mind kissing me?" you whispered back. She shook her head no as a blush crept up on her cheeks. "Bet" one of the girls said. You smiled and took Larissa to the far end of the pool, away from the girls. You put your right hand out and concentrated hard. You didn't use your telekinesis a lot, maybe you should practice it more. One of the girls drinks started levitating and then slowly moving toward you. It landed in your hand and you downed the whole thing. You put the glass on the side of the pool and turned to the girls. They were both in shock. One was trying to form some words, and the other couldn't do more than blink. You winked at them and turned to Larissa, cupping her face with one hand. "Come here Riss" you whispered as you went up on your toes to reach her level. You kissed her softly, just like you always wanted to. She grabbed your head and pulled you closer. You didn't kiss for too long, but you almost forgot that the girls were there. You pulled away, turning back to them. "Not only are we gay, were also outcasts. Get a load of that, bitches." And with that, you took Larissa's hand and lead her out of the pool.

As soon as you got back to the room, Larissa started laughing all giddy. Seeing her like this made you do the same. You laid down on your bed together, laughing. After a few minutes, she turned to you. "Peyton, you didn't have to do that for me, but thank you" she sounded really appreciative and sincere. "Well honestly Larissa, it pissed me off when they started about your age. But, I have something to tell you." You paused, wondering if she caught on. "You like women, don't you" she said, her smile so wide her white teeth were showing. "Yes" you laughed, "When did you figure it out?" "Well, when you wanted to kiss me. But I had a hunch when you couldn't contain yourself as I was trying on swim suits today." You rolled away from her groaning, burying your head in your hands, a blush forming on your face again. "Sorry about that" you muttered. She sat up and pulled your hands away from your face. "Peyton it's okay, we both like women, we have something in common" she said sweetly.

Coming out of the bathroom with your pajamas on, you found Larissa asleep on her bed, still in her swim suit. She looked adorable lying there. You didn't want to disturb her rest, but she still had makeup on and she couldn't sleep in that. "Rissa, wake up pretty, you have to get changed" you whispered in her ear. You saw her smile before her eyes opened, maybe she wasn't really asleep. She got up and went to the bathroom, saying nothing to you. You laid in your bed ready to fall asleep, it was a long day. A few minutes later she came out sans makeup, and sat on the edge of her bed. You looked at her, she was just sitting there looking at the ground. You thought this might be a repeat of last night, but then she looked up at you. She had a needy expression on her face, like she wanted something from you. You pushed the covers off of yourself and opened your arms, inviting her in. Despite her height, she laid down and put her head on your chest. You hugged her tight and stroked her silky hair, moving some out of her face. You kissed her forehead and mumbled "Sweet dreams Rissa."

Pt 4

#larissa weems fanfic #principal larissa weems #larissa x reader #larissa weems #larissa weems fluff #wednesday netflix #eventual smut

[thanakite]

Just finished Good Omens season 2 and honestly cannot figure out the hate for it I've seen

Like for 1 you all do understand that Neil intends for there to be 1 more season so it is logical that this season didn't wrap everything up

For another if you are salty about the ending itself and that like Crowley and Aziraphale didn't run off together or whatever then I desperately need you to be aware that you haven't been paying attention

Crowley was always saying they should run off together and it was always Aziraphale who said no, who kept believing that Haven = good and Hell = bad, and truly believes that God has a set plan that isn't mean, cruel, or terrible but that the angels and others cause mistakes to be made, Crowley was the one who saw that both sides were/are essentially the same and that what he wanted truly was to be the middle ground that protected the place he enjoyed being (Earth) with the Angel he loved/loves while still being able to do all the things he enjoys doing (which is decidedly not being an Angel, but also isn't doing everything the demons want him to either)

To use an easy example from this season, Maggie and Nina

Now these two come to Crowley and compare their relationship and how they are to Crowley and Aziraphale, but what they don't get is that Crowley isn't Nina, he's Maggie

Maggie gets that she's in love with Nina, pined from a far, did what she could to be around her, get to know her, but also not saying anything out of fear

Crowley knows he's in love with Aziraphale and most likely has for a long time, he's a demon, he understands the goods and bads of the world and really without that dichotomy you don't get the full picture, so to him he would recognize a distinct love for one being over how he feels for everyone else but Aziraphale would likely have a more difficult time of it (he knows it's there but doesn't have to think about it too much because he is good and loves pretty much everyone and is simply kind and all that), Crowley pines for him from afar for a long while but continually bumped into him (a lot of times purposefully), and slowly got to know him, but never expressed his true feelings at least in part out of fear, fear of the consequences not just from Hell or other Demons, or even Heaven but from Aziraphale himself too

Meanwhile, Nina was in a hyper controlling relationship with someone who treated her poorly and yet she just kept doing what she could to stay together and to make things right, she has a very narrow way of looking at things, doesn't notice how much Maggie likes her, and overall seems to have a high sense of duty

Heaven could easily take on a similar role in Aziraphale's life as Nina's girlfriend took on in hers and in many ways we have seen these things from them, Aziraphale despite being on Earth so long still doesn't see how grey everything is but only a small middle grey with significant amounts of black and white, doesn't see how Crowley feels about him (and really a lot of things in their lives), and obviously has a big sense of duty

Like just look at the very end of the season, if Crowley and Aziraphale were humans with their same personalities Aziraphale would be the one who'd be like "Oh crap even with being up for 30 hours straight I gotta get to work and give everyone their coffee and stay open all day" whereas Crowley would be the one to go to his place of business and simply sleep the day away there

Aziraphale was always going to leave to take Gabriel's place and Crowley was always going to be the one who expressed his feelings first and said "let's just run away together"

And again we are in the 2nd of 3 acts, of course everything isn't wrapped up all neat with a bow it isn't over yet!

So yeah this season was great and if the ending is a disappointment to you then you likely haven't been paying attention and likely should wait until the show is officially over before judging it as incomplete or whatever else

#aziraphale #crowley #good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens season 2 spoilers

[you-usuratonkachi]

Nah there's a time skip of a few years in s5 so Will needs a boyfriend idc like even if Byler did become canon in the back half of s5 Will is just gonna look like a second choice atp I rebuke it.

The time skip isn't going to change Will's feelings... and if it did, that would make such a cheap cop out from the mess the Duffers has set up with the whole Byler situation. If that was how it was going to go, there was NO need to handle S4 like they did. They could have made Will's feelings shallower, they could have given him a potential love interest this season, even just show a guy watching him from afar to hint that there might be someone who's into him would have sufficed, but they did not.

What they did is make him completely crazy about Mike and completely crushed by his feelings and the fact that he can't express them. What they did is invalidate his feelings over and over so that he could stay loyal to his sister and not risk losing his best friend. What they did was make him feel like he's invisible and wrong and a mistake because of how he feels. What they did is make him feel like his feelings do not count or matter compared to Mike and El's.

As a writer, you absolutely CANNOT end this plotline with this message. Will HAS to be seen. His feelings HAVE TO be acknowledged. And they have to be addressed by the only person that counts: Mike.

I didn't say I want Byler to be endgame at this point. I doubted they would ever be endgame before S4 and I still think it's unlikely (though I keep wondering why why why they even brought them up if they don't want them to be endgame. they always choose the road that will give Will the most pain and i hate them for that), but Will's feelings have to be addressed. They can't just be swept under the rug like they never happened. His feelings are VALID. His feelings are as valid as anyone else's. They have to be seen. If Steve gets to tell Nancy that he still has feelings for her, Will DESERVES to have the same chance. Yes, he deserves to "bother" Mike with his feelings, deserves to be able to tell the truth and realize that he's not WRONG for feeling how he feels. He's just in love and his love is NOT a burden.

Mike might never love him the same way, but he HAS TO see Will and TELL HIM that his feelings aren't a burden. Even if he can't love him back romantically, he has to love him back in all the ways that matter. If he doesn't, if he never even finds out how Will feels for him, they will never even be friends again. Because right now Will feels like they are friends only because Mike doesn't know the truth about him. Mike has to know and embrace him whole for Will to believe he's not a mistake.

That's my issue. They built it up so much, they can't come back now. They have to make the perfect confession scene or this will be an insult to any queer person to ever exist.

Will's feelings must be heard, in the same way as everyone else's.

#byler #mike wheeler #will byers #this isn't a matter of endgame or not #this is more than just possible romantic rejection #this is about character development and fair treatment #plus of course queer rapresentation #and coherence #of course i would LOVE if they were endgame #but i don't think there's time to handle it in a good way at this point #too much plot to cover in S5 already to have byler also go over this and have mike realize he's in love with will #they COULD leave it open ended with mileven broken up and after will's feelings have been exposed #if they make react in a i-need-to-figure-myself-out-first but positive way towards the confession #i still think it's unlikely mileven isn't going to be endgame #even though i don't like them as much as i did in previous seasons #of course they are welcome to surprise me! #i'd very much love to be surprised #but yeah #*if they make MIKE react

[mirokarosuu]

(*blows a kiss at the sun* for ollie)

i’m cheating because i drew this last week but just so happened to fit with the prompt for day 1 - letters ♥ time zones may be working against me so i’ll leave this here and goodnight!

#literally just a reason to draw ma boy with some sunflowers #because you'll never meet me #oliver paulot #bynmm #eggweek2017 #that's right everyone look at it afar so you cannot see the mistakes.... #my art supplies and talent are cheap but i couldn't not draw my sun #miroart

[botnasty]

Always on my Mind

Dark!Nomad!Steve X F!Reader

Summary: Even if you didn’t know it, you were his. Whether you like it or not.

Words: ~1,5k words

Warnings: Dark thoughts, dark intention, misogyny, smut(male masturbation). It’s dark people. Mention of pregnancy (but reader isn’t)

Note: All mistakes are mine. And also don’t be shy, come say hi . My request are open, so if you have any suggestions or ideas, I’m open to hear them.

I also have an idea for a part two. Let me know if you want me to do it.

Main Masterlist 

Marvel Masterlist

Please DNI if you are under 18! This is an 18+ blog!

Also, please don’t steal my work, on any other platform, unless you have my authorisation

[Part Two]

Steve was slowly losing his mind. Little by little all of his thoughts went from his past choice that led him to hiding from all the government in the word to just you. You were in his mind always, 24/7 and you didn’t even know it. Hell, you only talked to him once and it was to ask him about his coffee order.

Steve could still remember the smile you had on your face. No… you definitely knew him. You smiled at him so sweetly and your eyes had a little sparkle in them. You even made his drink perfectly. No… You definitely knew him and wanted him to know you. You wanted him to remember you, he was sure of that. 

Even watching you now, serving all those random people, you don’t have the same expression as you had with him. You wanted him, he had no doubt about that. Damn were you mesmerizing. Everything about you was perfect. It was like you were made for him. An angel sent for him after all the good deeds he had done to this planet. You were his and he would make sure of that.

He could see as clear as day. You and him are living in a two story house with white picket fence. Him coming back from a mission to your pregnant self. Steve had to stop himself from imagining you barefoot and pregnant or else he was sure he would get hard on the spot. He was certain you would be the perfect housewife, greeting him each day with a pink apron and food ready at the table.

A shout is what broke Steve out of his fantasy. He looked back inside the coffee shop to see a customer yelling at you about his drink. Steve saw red when your smile started to vanish, your face contorting into a mix of sadness and annoyance. 

Steve fixed his cap and walked right into the building. “You better remake me that drink and give me a discount on my next purchase. I especially told you I wanted two pumps of vanilla! Not one, not three, two!” Screamed the customer slamming the drink on the counter. Everyone in the coffee shop was looking at the scene, all shocked by the outburst.

“Ma’am.” You said calmly which made Steve so proud of you. Even in a stressful situation you were able to keep your calm. You would be the perfect mother for his future children. “I am deeply sorry for the inconvenience. I can remake that drink for you, but I cannot give you that discount. It’s not in our customer policie to do that, unfortunately. I can only remake your drink.”

The customer kept on shaking his head, disagreeing with everything you said. “You don’t understand! The customer is always ri–” 

Before the person could finish, Steve intervened. No one gets to yell at his future precious little wife without any consequences. “Don’t you have better things to do than yell at someone half your age? Someone who isn’t paid enough to endure your entitled self?”

The customer turned around, his mouth open ready to say whatever they wanted to say, when they froze on the spot, eyes wide. That when Steve knew he made a big mistake putting his attention to himself, but for you, he would do it in a heartbeat. You were his. His to protect and his to cherish. Even from afar.

For now. 

“Captain America?” The person stuttered and everyone in the shop turned towards him. Some people took out their phone to either records or take pictures.

“Fuck…” Steve muttered under his breath. He glanced at you, shot you a smile and immediately left the building. 

Steve wanted to slap himself. Because of what he did the day prior, he now had to leave the country to go far away. Be far away from you.

That wasn’t part of the plan. He had ruined everything for him. 

He had to see you. One last time before going. Of course, he was gonna come back when everything was going to be okay so he can finally be with you. His heart broke at the thought of being so far away from you. You were everything for him, always on his mind. He was gonna miss following you from the coffee shop to your home. He was gonna miss all the times he could kinda see your silhouette as you went out of the shower. 

Steve couldn't even remember the number of times he masturbated just looking at it. 

God, he was gonna miss you so much and he was sure you were gonna miss him too. That’s why he decided to go by your house and give you a little gift. 

Steve knew you weren’t home right now, He knew your routine by heart now. So he knew that if he was to slide inside your home through your windows, you wouldn’t even know it. Your home was really cosy, a little small for his liking but still very much you. “Look at you…” He smiled at a picture of you on your wall with your friends. You looked so happy.

“Now… where is your bedroom?” He walked, opened one door and found your bathroom. He got instantly hard when he noticed he could faintly smell your body wash. Vanilla… God he could get lost in that smell. 

He wanted so badly to just nuzzle your neck and your hair. Smell you all over. Especially what was in between those thighs of yours. He was sure your cunt smelled like heaven and tasted it too.

He closed the door and opened another one down a hallway. He smiled when he recognized the room. He was finally where he wanted to be. He closed the door behind him and looked around. 

He looked on top of your dresser and frowned when he found a pic of you and some random guy he’s never seen before. He clenched his hands. That should be him in the picture. Him holding you around your waist while you look up to him with that beautiful smile of yours. He was starting to feel more and more angry every second he looked at him.

How dare you let someone other than him hold you?

He harshly flopped the picture so he wouldn’t look at it anymore and took a deep breath. “It’s okay. She just has to experience little boys before going to a real man. It’s okay.” He kept repeating himself.

He then opened the top drawer and groaned when he saw what was in it. It was all of your panties. “Fuck me…” His mood soothed down. He took a pink one with his finger, brought it to his nose and inhaled.

He moaned when he could still smell a faint smell of your pussy. “ Fuck, baby. Your smell.” It made him want to lick your panties just to see if he could get a taste. He was rock hard at this moment. He wanted nothing more than just to take them with him… and he did.

He rummaged a little bit more into the drawer when his hand found something he knew for a fact wasn’t panties. He pulled it out. “You naughty baby…” It was your vibrator. Now, Steve couldn’t help himself.

He unbuckled his belt and took out his cock. He was arching to relieve himself. He was a deep shade of red and the tip was already leaking creamy pre-cum. He wrapped your panty around cock and slid up and down. “Fuck me, baby. Fuck, I’m gonna miss you.” 

He brought the vibrator to his nose and smelled it. He wished it was your pussy instead. God, the thing he would do to you. He would first fuck your cunt with his tongue and finger. Make you cum at least three times, making you beg for more before really fucking you hard on his cock.

He wrapped his hand tighter around his cock, making things even more pleasurable. And, with the friction your panties brought, it made it even harder for him to not cum immediately. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He muttered as he imagined you in many scenarios. You on your knee milking his cock and sucking his balls. You on your back, your leg around his waist as you let him fill you with cum. You on your hands and knees, drooling like a bitch in heat as he pushed his cock into you deeper and deeper. 

Steve groaned loudly as he came on your panties, painting them with seed, marking them with him.“That’s right, baby. Take my cum. Let me fill you up.” Steve let out a breath as he relaxed. He can't wait to do all of this with you. 

Steve looked at his watch. “Oh, fuck…”. You were about to come home soon. He placed your panties back with the rest and took a blue one as a souvenir that he tucked in his pocket and placed the vibrator back into its place.

He hastily tucked his cock back in his pants and closed the drawer. He went out of your bedroom and rushed to the window, but not without stopping to look at your picture once again. “Soon, my love.” He kissed two of his fingers and placed them on your face.

“Really soon you’ll be all mine.”

Note: Thank you so much for reading!

Please feel free to reblog and tell me what you think. It’s always appreciated!

#steve rogers #steve rogers x f!reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers x reader #steve x reader #dark!steve x reader #dark!steve rogers #dark!steve smut #steve rogers smut #nomad!steve x f!reader #nomad!steve smut #nomad!steve x reader #nomad!steve rogers #mcu #mcu smut #mcu fic

[startanewdream]

Captain Potter

Summary: Lily Evans has a secret that the army cannot know and it doesn't help that her captain is trying to be her friend.

Note: So I was watching Mulan and it's Shirtless JP May and this got me into googling shirtless army man, so please enjoy this piece of very much self-indulgence set in another AU. Also, I have no knowledge of military ranks, so bear with me.

Read on AO3 or below:

‘Evans’, the captain calls, and Lily turns to him, slightly afraid as she always feels when she hears her name. Maybe this is the day her secret will be found, this is the day she will be expelled and will fall in disgrace —

But Captain Potter has one of his carefree trademark grins, none at all looking as if he is about to arrest her. He looks at ease, leaning against one of the training posts, arms crossed lazily, watching her with interest shining in his hazel eyes as if she is a puzzle he will understand someday.

Lily truly wishes he won't, so she avoids looking at him directly in the eyes.

‘Captain’, she answers at least, saluting. That seems to amuse him.

‘I have a name, you know’.

‘Hum’, she stops, unsure. Her interactions with the captain have been restricted — well, her interactions with everyone have been limited —, but she has watched him from afar.

He is young and yet he never tries to act bossy with all the other soldiers, never tries to impose himself. He may have a more affinity with three of the soldiers (his friends for a long time, as she gathered), but he tries to treat everyone fairly, encouraging and teaching all soldiers equally, from the weakest of them to the strongest, and it’s not hard for her to see why everyone is willing to follow him into battle. The only one that he hadn’t been able to reach some sort of relationship was with her.

Something that had fit Lily’s plans and worries very well.

‘Captain Potter?’, she tries.

‘I am someone besides a rank’, he suggests.

‘Mr. Potter’.

‘That would be my father. I am James ’, he says at least, as if she is unfamiliar with the name of the youngest captain of the army.

‘I know , but — it would not be proper —’

‘Liam’, he stops her and, just as anytime someone uses that name, Lily wants to look around searching for that person until she remembers her situation. ‘Can I call you Liam?’

‘I’d rather Evans’, she answers, grimacing, and when he looks dismayed, she adds quickly: ‘It’s how everyone calls me. Not… it’s more personal, really’.

‘Fine, Evans’. He grins again. It’s a beautiful smile, so open and inviting, that again Lily has no difficulty understanding the success he makes with all the other soldiers, why their unity is unanimous in praising him. There is something on him that draws people to him — her included. ‘Well, call me James. I can order you to if it will make it more proper’.

Lily lets out a laugh before she stops herself, biting her lips, worried. She shouldn’t laugh; though she can disguise her voice mildly well, her laugh is too thin, too sparkling. It’s not a man’s grave laugh.

Fortunately, the captain doesn’t seem to find anything amiss. He looks just… glad with her reaction.

‘So you are capable of laughing’, he notes teasingly. ‘I had my doubts, you know’.

‘There has never been an occasion, Cap — James ’.

He opens his mouth in an offended expression; it’s so dramatic that, again, she wants to laugh. ‘I beg your pardon? Yesterday, when someone — a very clever someone, I might add — pretended to be shot by an arrow? That was an occasion!’

‘Wasn’t that you?’, she asks, raising her eyebrows. It had been a long tense one minute in which one of the other soldiers, Sirius, had been sure he had shot by mistake the captain and his best friend before James had revealed himself alive, laughing hysterically and showing the fake arrow attached to his badge.

Sirius had punched him, all rank forgotten, but then he was laughing too and everyone thought it was hilarious.

‘It was fun ’.

‘It was terrifying’.

‘Oh, so you were terrified I’d died?’, he jokes, his grin now very smug. ‘And I thought you didn’t like me’.

Lily blushes, lowering her head and hoping he hadn’t noticed it. Truth was she had misjudged him on the first day, annoyed by the way he acted with that captain badge pinned on his chest. He came from a long family of militars, after all, and he was very young, no matter what his father would praise about his grades in military school, so she had truly believed he didn’t deserve to be a captain, that he had only got there for his family name.

In the last few weeks, though, she was forced to admit he was a good captain. He had the vision for it, good ideas, an efficient way of training everyone and, of course, he was a leader.

‘I have nothing against you, sir — James’.

‘I’m glad to know’, he says, sounding earnest. ‘I am worried about you, you know’.

‘Have I done something wrong?’, she asks, surprised, fear involving her again. Lily had taken care of doing all exercises, overworking herself, all to prove that that stupid rule that forbid women in the army did not make any sense. They needed everyone in the fight against Voldemort, after all, and she would not wait patiently, especially when people like her were one of his targets.

‘No, no, you’ve been perfect, really, no one dedicates as much as you’, he assures her. ‘But you don’t socialize. You stay quiet during dinner. You don’t participate in any of the games', he pauses, before adding again dramatically: 'You don’t laugh at my pranks!’

All of it is true. Lily has purposefully gotten away from everyone, afraid they would notice something different about her, though that quiet soldier, Remus, had tried to talk to her. She just feels she can't risk.

‘I do not think it’s time for pranks, James’, she answers, deciding the last point was probably the easiest.

He shakes his head. ‘We are at war, Evans. If we don’t laugh now, we may not laugh after’.

She supposes he is right. And even though he enjoys more pranks than she thinks it’s reasonable, she knows he worries too. More than once, when she is on guard duty, she has noticed the light of his tent is on very late in the night. James may look carefree with everyone else, but he has concerns about the war — and what lies in his shoulder.

‘Your work has been impeccable’, he adds quietly. ‘I just want you to get to know more of your colleagues and for them to know more about you’. Lily presses her lips, hoping her worry doesn’t show on her face. That was all she was trying to avoid. ‘You will need to count on them in the battlefield and they will need to know you have their backs too. And the only way to do that is if we trust each other. Can we do that?’

James is waiting for her answer, his eyes boring into hers firmly, and Lily can’t turn away now. In the light of the morning, with the sun shining on his face, his hazel eyes seem to glint in gold, the pupil barely visible. He has wrinkles on the side of his eyes, and she suddenly wishes they weren’t meeting in the army while she is pretending to be an introverted thin young man.

He seems the kind of guy she would like to meet in college, or to grow up together with, or even in a dancing club with her friends; they would talk and she could be then fully herself, could share with him her witty side and even help him in a prank or two. In that other life she would appreciate how nice and beautiful he is, with that black hair that’s always messy no matter how much he tries to comb, and those hazel eyes that were made for laughing, not to be worried for the war.

But that’s not her life and she is sure that if he ever finds out about her, he will hate her. Somehow, with how much she has learned to admire him in the last weeks, she fears his rejection more than she fears being expelled from the army.

Lily knows she would trust James Potter with her life, knows she would do her duty and die for him if it was needed, and yet she also knows she can't ever tell him  her secret.

So she does what she has been doing best ever since she joined the army.

‘We can trust each other’, she lies.

He beams. ‘Great, Evans! And I thought we could start sharing your mourning runs’. He raises one eyebrow when she looks surprised. ‘I’ve noticed you awake at dawn to run’.

‘I like to train’, she admits. ‘I am… thinner than the others, so I am trying to get fitter’.

‘You look a lot better’, he compliments, touching her arm, where her biceps have been evolving nicely. It’s a pat, a soft brush, and yet it sends shivers down Lily’s spine; his hand is warm . ‘Mind if I join you?’

She hesitates just a little. ‘I will stay quiet’, she warns him. ‘I like to think while I run’.

‘Works for me. And if you want to share a thought or another, well, I’m here, Evans’.

He winks at her, again so friendly that she turns her eyes away, wishing she could tell him the truth. But she can’t, so she presses her lips, ties the ribbon around her hair so the bun stays in place, and kneels to make sure her shoes are tied. Then she raises and her heart stops for a full second.

James has taken out his shirt. She knows he is fit — there is no way he can’t be with all the years of training he had — and she has seen before shirtless, but only when she was far away in the line, hoping to get unnoticed as she trained the movements.

Now, it’s only him, his tanned skin glistening under the morning sun, a god coming out of her dreams. She is staring and she knows it, but there is no way she can avoid it; weeks at the army have made her lost a lot of discomfourt around men's body, but this... This doesn't seem fair.

She watches the muscles in his arms, his biceps far more evident than hers will ever be, and it suddenly occurs to Lily that she would like very much to feel them around her, involving her, holding her. There would be only benefits in hugging him, she realizes, as her eyes move to his torso, enjoying the firmness of his chest and the muscles in his abdomen, a six pack that seems drawn perfectly. In his arms, she would glide her hand through his chest, would place a kiss over his heart and then she would raise her head and they would be so close —

And then James stretches his arms, raising them above his head, and she notices the hair on his torso, a few patches near his chest that shine with a few drops of sweat she wouldn’t mind drying, and then the darked patch over his abdomen, in a path that goes on vanishing inside…

When she finds herself staring at his pants, Lily decides she has crossed more limits that it's reasonable.

She turns, all her concentration in avoiding glancing at him again, though she feels it's fruitless. The sight of him seems to be recorded in her mind. He will appear on her dream, she is sure of it.

‘Everything all right, Evans?’, he asks, right behind her, and she jumps. 'You look red'.

Lily knows it; her face is hot, burning even before she has started to run, and she won’t fool herself pretending she doesn’t know the reason.

‘I'm fine, let’s go’, she answers quickly, heart racing in her chest. This was a horrible idea; mourning runs with her very gorgeous hot captain will do no good for her keeping her secret.

She sprints without warning, but he catches up with her easily. She keeps her eyes ahead. Don't look, don't stare, don't ogle.

‘There is something special about you, Evans’, he declares, the run not seeming to disturb his breathing. ‘I will find out one day’.

#Shirtless JP May #Jily #Jily AU #Pining Lily #Captain James Potter #Army James Potter #Lily is a soldier #Lily would never stand out a fight #James would just be smitten with his recruit #oh the pining

[therosefrontier]

Whumptober Day 3

No. 3 - STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT…

taunting | insults | “Who did this to you?”

+++

Genshin Impact | Bennett, Fischl, Oz, and those other adventurers we know and love

(crossposted to AO3)

+++

“I didn’t ask for your help, Bennett! You only make everything worse!”

“I-I’m sorry, I just thought—”

“And now I have a chipped sword! Ugh, what am I going to do? I don’t have the mora or the ore to spare for a new one!”

“Y-yeah, but…”

Bennett wanted to point out to Royce that his sword was tarnished-looking and even had rust on it, so it probably was already in need of repair—this is why his dads always told him to take good care of his weapons!—but he didn’t really feel like he could. Because, it probably was his fault, still. All he wanted was to help, but…

“Oh, that was terrifying!” Pallad shook his head gravely, releasing a long breath. “All those Hilichurl reinforcements kept showing up, and then Bennett showed up, and then the pyro slime barrels all exploded, all at once. B-But not to worry, just another day of epic adventuring for me! Nothing to fear!”

“Yeah.” Royce huffed, his anger still very apparent. “Good thing those slime barrels didn’t kill us all.”

“I…didn’t set them off, though…” Bennett mumbled awkwardly. Pallad was the one who accidentally fired the arrow that hit them, not that Bennett was mad at Pallad or anything. Mistakes like that happened all the time! Plus, mistakes did happen a lot around Bennett specifically…

Bennett sighed heavily. He really only meant to help. He saw Royce and Pallad fighting Hilichurls together, and they looked like they were really struggling and could be in danger, so Bennett came in to help fight and also heal them up a little with his Vision, and they did drive off the Hilichurls, but…not without a few hiccups along the way. Like the barrels and Royce’s sword. And the additional wave of reinforcements. Maybe the Hilichurls just really liked this camp?

“But these things keep happening when you’re around! Why can’t you realize that? We would have been better off without you!”

“But, you looked like you needed help and—!”

“No, Bennett, just…just go, okay?” Royce let out a tense exhale, looking very stressed. He looked that way a lot when Bennett was around. “I’m not mad, I promise. Just…do everyone a favor and keep your adventures solo, okay?”

“O-Okay.” Bennett felt himself flinch, just a little. He…never said it quite like that, before. Maybe it was just that the more encounters they had, the more honest Royce got. Royce, and Heckler, and Jack…

“They’ll be back! They’re just…on leave,” he pleaded to Katheryne once, desperate to not have the face the finality of losing his team’s registration with the guild. He was so excited when he finally got people to agree to being on a team with him—he was so sure that they would all be great friends, and that they would go on many epic adventures together just like his dads did when they were young. Adventuring was his passion, and he couldn’t wait to get started for real! But then…well…it didn’t work out quite like he hoped.

It really stung, hearing Royce say it like that. Should he really just do as he said and stop…bothering everyone so much…?

“My ear harkens to the sound of mortal cries! What ill fate hath befallen thee?”

“F-Fischl!” Bennett was very surprised to turn around and see Fischl and Oz coming into view over the top of a hill and down into their camp, the Prinzessin der Verurteilung’s entrance as cool and grand as ever. Walking up to them, there was something about her expression that looked kind of intense, though. Bennett wasn’t really sure why; all of the Hilichurls were gone now, right?

“Oh, Fischl. What are you doing here?” Royce sounded very tired and still kind of annoyed.

“I heard from afar the expressions of woe and stress! Might I add, even the throbbing binds of a dark fury? It is of no mere happenstance that I, the Prinzessin der Verurteilung, should come down upon you at such an hour, that I may ask, why such stress, when the intensity of danger is clearly past, and why do you say words of fury, when whatever physical ailments you have are clearly of little consequence to one of the warrior’s creed?”

Royce sighed in exasperation. “I don’t have time for this…” he mumbled.

“O-Oh! Everything’s fine!” Bennett assured, getting what she was saying…maybe. (Fischl was really smart and also from other world, so she talked in complicated words a lot). “We just…had a little bit of trouble with some Hilichurls, that’s all! And we were…talking about what went wrong!”

“Yes, yes, what he said, there’s nothing going on, the Hilichurls are gone now.” Royce waved her off.

“Is that so? Then pray tell, why, if there is no danger, that distress still binds you so much that you would speak such ill of your comrades!”

“H-Huh?”

“What the Prinzessin means is, your words seem to be unfounded, judging from the…tone of your voice,” Oz translated. “Not to say that we were making any attempts to secretly listen to what was being said, of course.”

“I really have no idea what you’re talking about,” Royce groaned. “Just, please go back to whatever you were—”

“I was on a mission of dire importance, and I require that Bennett be my aide! Come, Bennett, there is a destination we must hasten to!”

“What?” Bennett was confused.

“Oh, why didn’t you say so?” Pallad laughed. “He’s all yours! Come on Royce, let’s head back to the city to turn in this commission!”

Fischl took Bennett by the hand and led him out, and Bennett hurried his step to catch up.

“What’s wrong?” he asked after they were a little ways away and Fischl stopped walking. “Where’s the danger?”

Fischl paused a second, turning back to look at him, as if considering what to say… “Are you hurt?”

Bennett’s eyes widened in a bit of surprise, partially because she said the question in so few words. Was that what this was about? But, he wasn’t even bleeding! “Oh! Uh, no, not really! Just a few knicks and bruises here and there, nothing I can’t handle!”

Fischl shook her head, clearing her throat. “Ahem, no, I do understand that your constitution is not the aspect at risk of failing you; what ailment I was referring to runs greater than bone or marrow, but rather, to the soul itself, the deepest recesses of your mind and heart. This, my fellow seeker of the unknown, is what mine eye hath perceived to be carrying the deepest of wounds.”

Bennett took a second trying to get what she was saying…and then turned to Oz for help.

“What she means—as well as myself—is…Bennett, we overheard some of what your…friend…said, and we wanted to know if you were alright. Because of his words, that is.”

“Oh…OH!” Bennett got it now. But… “I-It’s okay, he didn’t really mean it as bad as it probably sounded, just…um…” He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. He didn’t want them to get mad at Royce for his sake, or anything. “Y-You know what they say! Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me! Right?”

That was how it went…right?

Bennett was used to pain—of every kind, really. It wasn’t a big deal.

“No!” Fischl was adamant, surprising him even further with the fierceness of her gaze. “I refuse to accept such a…a…a degradation of yourself!” She thrust out her arm to point at his heart, her other hand on her hip. “Your ill fate has nothing to do with yourself! Even if some grievous error was made that was your own folly, it would be no cause for allowing yourself to be cast to the side to descend into the vile throes of darkness!”

For a few long seconds, Bennett was dumbfounded and speechless. He really didn’t know what to say, he…he felt awkward, because he didn’t want anyone to worry about him or feel bad for him, but…it also…felt good, that she cared? “You…really think that?”

Fischl cleared her throat again. “Mm, yes indeed…I…simply cannot allow any member of my retinue to be considered in such a way. You should not…be condemned to be alone for the cause of the curse on you.”

“Ah, i-it’s okay!” Bennett assured with a wide smile. “I’m not alone entirely, even without my team! Not anymore, anyways! Me and Traveler have gone on a few adventures, and, um…I have my dads, and…I have you!”

They were in different sectors of the guild, him and Fischl, what with Fischl being an investigator and all. She was really good at remembering details, and not getting lost. Bennett knew his way around and remembered lots of survival skills, but he wasn’t as smart as she was. He was best at mainly just going in and fighting stuff while exploring. But, they did get to work together sometimes! And those times were always nice.

“Well then, let us embark on this next mission together, as you have been thusly requested.”

“Really?” Bennett asked. “You weren’t just making something up?”

“Never in the death of a thousand suns!” Fischl refuted emphatically. “My pledge is my sacred word, and yes, I believe that your assistance would be much needed indeed!”

#whumptober2021 #no.3 #insults #fandom #genshin impact #bennett #fischl #royce #bennett my poor baby #though honestly this one was low-hanging fruit #its okay we love you

[guessimwritingficsagain]

To Be Seen, Part Seven

Warnings : depression

Author's note : I based my depiction of Frankie's wife on the movie Laggies that I mentioned before. It's not exactly the same thing but I liked the way the mom was depicted in the movie and how, in the end, everybody made mistakes. I'm still very sad Lynn Shelton left us. So I guess, in a way, this is dedicated to her.

Chapter One ; Chapter Two ; Chapter Three ; Chapter Four ; Chapter Five ; Chapter Six

------

Two weeks later, you broke down. You’d felt it coming, used as you were to that grey cloud slowly sneaking its way into your brain. You called in sick on a Saturday night and turned off your phone, not even feeling guilty about that.

Linda had had her meeting with her ex, and they’d both been tentatively hanging out, trying to fix something that was so broken you didn’t know if there was ever a chance it could be fixed. You’d stayed out of the way, of course. You hadn’t spoken to Linda except for the occasional text to check on her. That left a sinking feeling in your stomach, one that came with the realization that even though you considered Linda your friend, you were also her ex, first and foremost, and though she didn’t mind poking into your love life, she seemed reluctant for you to know about hers. Even though you couldn’t really blame her, that heaviness never went away. That was the first sign.

Jessie’s story was something else altogether. James and Will had set up a tight sleeping schedule at Jessie’s house - a tight schedule of following her to work and staying with her all day, too. Will had involved all the boys except Frankie. They were taking turn watching her, making sure she and her kid were safe. You’d managed to talk them out of going to the guy’s place and beating him up - barely. But you knew that couldn’t last. The way Will had vibrated when you explained the situation told you everything you needed to know about that. Talking to Jessie hadn’t been easy either, because she’d first shut you out completely and resented her brother for telling you, you for telling Will, and Will for telling everybody else. That was understandable too, but things were tense between the two of you, and since none of the men wanted to include you in what you called the Jessie Watch in your head, you were left to watch and worry from afar.

But the worst thing was the complete and utter silence from Frankie. He wouldn’t answer your texts or your calls. You kept replaying the only phone call he’d answered to just like you’d kept replaying the moment he’d offered you wine and chocolates for Christmas - God, you wished you could go back to that time.

You dial his phone number, hoping he picks up. He does, starting with :

‘Listen, now’s not a good time. I’m sorry but I got some things to deal with right now. I’ll call you back.’

Unnerved by the tone of his voice, unnerved by his answer, and thinking we don’t even see each other anymore and I thought you liked me and trusted me you bluntly answer :

‘Pope told me.’

The silence on the other end in unbearable, so you continue :

‘Frankie, talk to me. Don’t shut me out, please.’

You’re begging, and you don’t care that you are.

‘It’s fine.’ He eventually mumbles, his voice unconvincing. ‘I’ll sort this out. I just need some time.’

Some time was more than two weeks apparently, and two weeks was your breaking point.

You felt alone in a way you’d never felt before.

That led you here, right to this moment, you opening a bottle of wine, all by yourself. You sat on your couch, and drank a glass. Then, a second. By the third, you were turning on your phone and dialing your mother. When she picked up, you completely broke down. After the phone call, exhausted by all the crying, you left your phone on the couch and went to bed. The battery was empty when you woke up the next morning, feeling puffy and barely keeping it together. You didn’t bother to plug it in.

As agreed upon the night before, your father picked you up a bit before noon. Starbuck was in her bag, and you’d thrown some clothes in a luggage. You felt a wave of relief wash over you when you put it in your childhood’s bedroom, Starbuck already carefully sniffing around the house. You called your boss to ask to use all of the vacation days you had. You didn’t know what deity to thank for the fact that he agreed. You knew it was all wrong. You knew you should be here for Jessie, for everyone. You father covered that : he went to Anna and Phil, told them about the situation and made them promise not to say a word.

You had three weeks of vacation, and nothing to do but pretend you were a teenager again, living with your parents.

Your father kept in touch with Phil and Anna, if only to get news about what was going on with your friends. At the end of the first week, he came back with a letter. You felt yourself shaking until he added :

‘It’s from Anna.’

He heard your sigh of relief but didn’t say a word, turning around to leave you in peace. As he got to the door, though, he turned around and announced :

‘One of these days, I’m gonna have to have a talk with that boy of yours.’

He looked tired, and worried. Your voice wavered as you answered :

‘You won’t have to if he’s not my boy anymore, Dad.’

You felt like crying, but you didn’t. You turned your attention to the letter instead, and smiled at the first line. Anna had taken to give you your own nickname every time you compared her to Jane from Pride and Prejudice.

Dear Elizabeth,

How long and lonely are the days without you. Our dear cook is not quite himself, since you’ve been away, as he has to endure me without you to soothe the pain in his ass that I am. The counter has lost its light, and even the birds seem to sing in a more quiet manner, as if they were missing their dear friend too.

I hope your dear feline companion Starbuck is doing well in her new surroundings. I do not worry much, though: change can be difficult, but she is anything but faint-hearted.

I will keep writing to you, dear Elizabeth, if only to let you know if a respectable gentleman of good fortune ever comes in to charm me. You must promise, though, that you shall write back.

Your Jane.

The letter was so sweet and thoughtful , with Anna’s clumsy attempt at sounding Jane Austen-ish, you finally cried, only this time, the tears were not all bitter. You could call her, but this seemed more fun. You fumbled around to find a piece of paper and picked up a pen.

Dear Jane,

How sweet of you to write to me. I cannot express how much I miss you too. Do not worry about Phil, for he is softer for you than you know. I am sure you are quite exaggerating to hasten my return. Alas, I will remain where I am, for I find this retreat is beneficial to my health.

Starbuck has taken to her new life quite readily, and is currently enjoying a lovely nap in the sun.

Guard your feelings well, my dear. Experience has taught us much in this matter, recently.

I’m writing a return address on the back, so you can write to me through the post-office and avoid my poor father the task of being the delivery man.

Your Elizabeth.

You left the house for the first time this week to mail the letter.

Those three weeks went by like this.

You learnt that Linda and her ex had called it quits for good. You learnt that Will eventually drove to Jessie’s now-ex-boyfriend’s house and beat the shit out of him, and that everybody watched it happen with glee. You learnt that Frankie’s ex-wife was still in town. Staying on the couch.

You wanted to throw up all the time, these days.

You still didn’t turn on your phone. You used your parents’ line to get an appointment to the doctor. The woman only had to look at you to say :

‘Yeah, you’re not going back to work.’

You knew what she meant : you barely recognized yourself when you looked in the mirror. You didn’t sleep much, you didn’t eat much, and it all showed. When you came home, your father hesitantly said :

‘They’re starting to be worried. They’re asking a lot of questions to Anna.’

You found that you didn’t care, and a little voice at the back of your head warned you that this was worrying but you ignored it. It was so easy not to think. You enjoyed the feeling - maybe a little too much, said the voice again. You ignored it again. You were standing on that fine line : you were aware that you weren’t fine, but you weren’t doing anything about it. You knew it would only take a push to bring you to the other side : and then, you wouldn’t be aware anymore that you were not fine.

‘I got two weeks more.’ You answered instead.

———

You hadn’t seen Frankie in five weeks.

You’d been feeling better, lately, but still considered going back to work. And by that you meant going back to work at all, ever again. You weren’t good at facing your problems, you knew that, and that whole existential crisis about your future sounded a lot like running away but you didn’t have the strength to face anything right now. You wanted Frankie and your friends to make some king of grand gesture while knowing they didn’t have the means to reach you. You knew that was ridiculous and a little bit fucked up. You kept at it anyway.

Anna visited you more and more. The first time she’d shown up unannounced, she looked so hesitant it broke your heart. You’d hugged her so hard and she’d given it back the same way. She took to showing up in the morning, when your parents were on their daily stroll, though she happily stayed for lunch. Your parents, of course, adored her.

So, that morning, when someone rang at the door, you expected it to be her. You realized your mistake the second you opened it. You took a step back, speechless, and Will and Santi used your surprise to push past you and come in, very much uninvited.

On autopilot, your brain pretty much gone, you turned around and just stared at them. They stared right back, Pope with a hard look on his face. Will, though, looked like he wanted to hug you but didn’t dare. He seemed to struggle for a minute, before opening with :

‘Benny is very upset you missed his last fight. It was a big one.’

You found your tongue, even if it felt heavy in your mouth.

‘Well, I’ve been…’

‘You’ve been what ?’ Interrupted Santi, his arms crossed and his gaze unforgiving. ‘Ignoring us for five weeks ?’

‘My phone is dead.’

‘For five weeks ? Cut the crap.’

‘How did you find me ?’

You crossed your arms too. Whatever reunion you’d imagined, that wasn’t it. The reality of the situation was starting to sink in and you were trying to get angry, because if you got angry, then you wouldn’t break down. You could feel the tension building up your spine, knew exactly what it meant too : that conversation was not going to go well because whatever happened, whatever your reaction would be, the part of your brain labeled stupid and self-destructive was going to take over.

‘How did you find me ?’ You repeated, your fingers digging into the flesh of your arms to try and ground you.

Apparently, though, your brain wasn’t the only one with a part labeled stupid because instead of answering the question, Pope just decided to go with :

‘Do you realize how Jessie feels ? Do you realize how we all feel ? We had to take care of your friend, your friend because you just bailed on us while her fucking ex-boyfriend was beating the shit out of her.’

The silence that followed was heavy, as you could feel both the anger coming off of Santi and the panic that was shaking Will. Your voice was cold, emotionless, as you answered :

‘I was there. Except nobody wanted me there. I was completely useless.’

‘Bullshit. So what, you disappear ? Jesus, Frankie must have a thing for women who pull that kind of stunt because you’re the second one. The boy’s not very smart, apparently.’

‘Pope.’ Will’s voice rang loud in your ears, but you were frozen to the spot. You wanted to answer with some smartass remark, something petty along the line of well she’s back now, so who needs me anyway, just to get back at Santi because you knew in your heart Frankie wouldn’t just leave you like that. You knew there was more to the story but Frankie had completely shut you out before you went off the grid and now Santi was in front of you, scolding you as if you were a child, the whole thing feeling too much and not real at all, like you were having a really bad nightmare.

Pope ignored Will’s warning and went on :

‘You know the worst part ? He’s so worried he’s going crazy right now. We’re fucking back to square one, when I had to pick up the pieces when the other one left.’

‘Pope, stop.’ You heard Will say.

You opened your mouth, just a reflex, because your brain was empty. You couldn’t think anymore. But you opened your mouth anyway and realized too late you wouldn’t be able to contain the sob crawling up your throat. Breaking down it is, then, was your last thought before you started crying and shaking uncontrollably. So you ran to your room, leaning on the walls to avoid falling.

You were crying so hard you didn’t hear the door open, some time later. You felt the bed dip, though, when someone sat next to you.

‘Go away.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Will’s voice answered as a hand went to your hair. ‘Come on, deep breaths. Everything’s gonna be okay but I need you to breathe, okay ?’

Your hand shot up to grab his arm in a steely grip to steady yourself. You complied, though. After a while, you felt like you could breathe again. Will’s hand kept stroking your hair as he started talking :

‘Listen, Pope’s an asshole, we all know that. Anna briefed me a bit about everything. She wasn’t the one who gave us your address, by the way. I swear, the woman is unbreakable. Linda just figured you might be at your parents’ house and we looked it up. I’m a bit ashamed it took us that long to think about it, honestly.’

He chuckled, and went on :

‘Anyway, listen. Frankie’s been really overwhelmed by his ex coming back, and he didn’t react well, though I must say you answered in kind but I get it. He told me how he kept you out of the loop and I know how hard that must have been for you because I can see how much you care about him. It’s so obvious, the two of you. It was even before anything happened. I know Frankie is, you know, the quiet one, and he’s not all sharp angles and shit like the rest of us, but he turns into a puddle when you’re here. He’s unburdened when you’re around. We used to give him shit because he wouldn’t talk to the cute bartender.’

You smiled, still not looking at Will, but he was looking at you and he saw it.

‘Remember when he came to ask you, for Maria’s birthday ? We made him do it. Benny taunted him. He said that if he had to get up and ask you that, he’d also get your phone number and a date with you.’

‘I’d never go on a date with Benny.’ You replied, your voice hoarse.

‘Yeah, you’re smarter than that. Remember the Christmas presents ? Frankie was having a bloody existential crisis over this. He wanted to buy you a book. Linda gave him ideas but he was freaking out because he was scared he was going to buy you a book you wouldn’t like. I actually had to text Jessie about your favorite wine and get Frankie to go shopping with me so he would stop freaking out. Pretty sure I’ve never seen him stressed out like that and we served together.’

‘You already had Jessie’s number ?’ You asked, pretty sure Jessie would have told you right away about that.

His voice grew quiet, thoughtful.

‘Yeah. I had asked for her number one day. But I was really drunk so I never used it. Figured she’d given it to me because she felt obligated or something since I was a regular. I thought I was taking advantage. If I had made a move earlier …’

You turned your head towards Will, then, knowing you looked like a mess and not caring one bit.

‘What happened is not your fault, Will.’

And then, it hit you.

‘Wait, earlier ? That means you did it ?’

His smile was blinding. You squeezed his arm.

‘Good for you.’

You both fell silent for a moment but Will wasn’t done.

‘Listen, that thing with Frankie’s ex, it’s not what you think, even though he’s been an idiot for not telling you. Wendy came back because she’s lost. She thinks she made a mistake, leaving like that, and she’s still trying to figure out if she wants to be a mom. It’s not about Frankie and her, okay ? It’s about Maria. She wants to try, maybe. She still doesn’t know. Pope shouldn’t have talked to you like that but he’s right : Catfish is lost right now, because he misses you and he doesn’t know how to fix it. He’s too damn respectful to show up here unannounced, too. That’s why we came.’

He kept stroking your hair as your mind processed everything.

When you left the room, Santi was waiting in the garden. You went over to him and hugged him. He whispered apologies in your ear.

-------------------

Taglist :

@pedritobalmando @ubri8

#pedro pascal #frankie morales x reader #frankie 'catfish' morales #triple frontier

[groovypalacehorselover]

A Drunken Nightmare

An AU in which MC and Ethan slept together in Miami.(The morning after)

Probably the most smut I'll ever be able to write.

Warning: if you came here for smut you will be disappointed.

"A doctor who could make a difference in patient care"

"More then you already do?"

Salty air blew over the Celestial's front gate. Doctors that came to the conference were all drinking and dancing, without a care for the world. The loud dubstep beats roared from the speakers, people grinding eachother. All were there except two people.

All except a certain famous diagnostician and his rookie.

Casey Valentine and Ethan Ramsey were leaning against the railing of the balcony of their shared room, looking at Ethan's drunk colleagues rave though the night just beneath them. Casey was quietly observing an individual who had caught her eyes, a young male doctor probably a second year residency, he looked about her age. Young and energetic, he was talking to a woman and from the looks of it they both were flirting with each other. Casey had a humourless smile on her face, how lucky the doctor was, where as she was stuck in between a competition, half the interns hated her and some acted like she doesn't exist. Her own friends, Jackie and Landry were dead set on trying to take her no. 1 position. At least Elijah, Sienna and Bryce treated her like a human being.

Right beside her was the one and only Ethan Ramsey, the nightmare of interns, the cold man who keeps his emotions underground, the damn asshole who Casey was in love with.

Ethan's eyes subtly stared at Casey's curves, imaging how they would feel beneath his fingers. Of course she had to wear such a sinful dress which would only give him a teaser of what her curves were, but enough to get him exited.

If she she wasn't an intern, he would be tearing it down right now.

Ethan had to tear Casey away from the bar, or she would have drunk herself to death. The whole time while he was taking her back to their room, she was giggling and swaying back and forth. But she went quiet when they were inside.

"You're awfully quiet" Ethan stated, Casey looked at him, baffled "O-oh? Just thinking." She answered.

Ethan didn't bother asking what she was thinking about, he was frozen in place. It was the first time he looked at her properly after they returned to their room, her face was red and her mouth slightly parted, her eyes reflected the stars and her bangs were messy. But yet she looked so damn beautiful.

"What do you think Naveen would say if he knew at what levels we were going to get him treated?" She broke the silence.

"He would probably first laugh, and then say we are making fools of ourselves" He said giving her a half smile. "But if he survives this, it will all be worth it"

"What you did just then was very smart, we are finally making a big progress!" She said existedly. I love it when you make that face, Ethan thought. "You mean almost losing the team on the hands of a man who only cares about money?" He said staring into her eyes.

"No I didn't mean it like that!" She said flushed. Ethan smirked, he loved seeing the flustered look on her face.

"I know"

Both of them went quiet for a while, then he decided to break the silence, "What you saw tonight wasn't me, I don't gamble on anything".

He looked into her eyes," Medicine is a assembly of facts leading to a conclusion, once you know the rules and the disease you're working with, the risk should be minimal." He turned to face her."Your decisions are informed, and you choose the safest path. But that card game…I've never done anything like that before."

Casey turned and looked at him,"I don't know, it seemed like a pretty well-informed decision to me" she stated.

"Risking Naveen's treatment on a game? Having to hope I'd judged Declan's character enough to risk losing instead of using a winning hand?" He said furiously, "There were too many variables, I could have lost everything!"

"But you were right, your risk paid off" She smiled, he loved it when she smiled like that, it was when she was reassuring a patient that she will help them, and she damn well did.

"It did…and I'm only beginning to realise…" his eyes shined with desire.

"There are some things that are worth any risk"

Both of them looked at each other, and both knew what the other wanted.

°~~~~~•~~~~~°~~~~~•~~~~~°

Casey groaned as sunlight interrupted her sleep, her whole body was hurting and for some reason her womanhood was hurting the most. Her eyes fluttered open, and she saw the sun shining right outside of the glass wall that separated the bedroom from the balcony. She just had the best dream ever.

Ethan pushes her against the bedroom wall, his right knee between her legs. Their tongues desperately met, "Dr. Ramsey!" She gasped as she felt Ethan's hand opening the zip of her dress. "Ethan" he whispered in her ears and kissed on her neck, stoping momentarily to nibble on the sensitive spots.

Casey face heated up, even for a dream it felt too real. 'It would be better if It only was a dream' she thought.

As much as she hates to admit it, she can never be with Ethan. He was an attending, she was an intern. He was her boss, she was competing to be in his team. If they were a thing, his reputation would be affected she would be told that everything she 'achieved' was because she slept with her boss. Plus…

Ethan would never see her in that way.

To him she is a newbie, a nuisance, someone that likes to stick her head in other people's business.

Casey lay there quietly for a short while, then decided to get up. As soon as she pulled the cover away, a breeze chilled her bare chest. Casey flinched, wasn't she waring her dress from last night? Where'd it go?

Ethan's fingers touch Casey's core, only a thin layer of her pantie separating them. Casey pulls Ethan on top of her she herself lay on the bed, Ethan kisses the rise of her breasts. "Mmm…" Casey softly moans as she felt Ethan's fingers enter her. "Don't…stop"she said between her shaky breaths. "I don't think I can. I have been wanting this for a long time Casey" Ethan's lips brushes past Casey's breasts, then her stomach and slowly lower…

Casey's head was spinning, memories of last night were slowly returning back to her. She was horrified.

This can't happen! It can't!

Casey looked beside her to see a shirtless Ethan sleeping soundly, he looked so peaceful probably not having a clue what they have done.

Casey got up and quickly walked towards the bathroom with wobbly steps, her legs were hurting like hell. She quietly shut the door and glanced at the mirror.

Hickeys and bite marks everywhere. How was she even going to hide this?

Tears spilled from her eyes…'why am I crying? I wanted this' she thought. She broke down, this can't be happening, not today. She was supposed to be happy that they found a possible cure for Dr. Banerji, feel proud because Dr. Ramsey trusted her. Not guilt trip because she slept with her boss.

|~~~~~•~~~~~|~~~~~•~~~~~|

Ethan's head was pounding relentless, he could only focus on Casey. Despite the raging party below them, the loud sound of waves crashing on the rocks…he could only hear Casey's voice. She was drunk talking and saying nonsensical things, but he was still encaptured by her voice. This is what shook him.

The unshakable Ethan Ramsey, the face that doctors from afar dreamt of meeting. He had only a decade's experience but yet he was one of the best doctors from around the world. He always thought that he cannot be distracted by anything or anyone. No one was truly able to crack his wall of ice, no matter how warm they were. And yet here she was, Casey Valentine an intern, clueless, novice, and trouble. She shattered the walls like they were a tower of cards, melted everything like she was the scorching sun in a summer afternoon, invaded his life like a skilled thief, and stayed as if she belongs here. Whenever he thought he knew her she would do something he least expected. She could even yell at him if she felt like he deserved it.

Never before had he been so head over heels for a woman.

But fate was against him, he was her attending, her boss, 10 years older than her. It was unprofessional, unethical, something he was against. But something he longed for. He could have anyone, but the one he wanted was out of his reach.

But yet here they are in a perfect setting. 10 floors above the ground, everyone was busy partying, they were alone, the party was so loud no one could hear them, he was drunk, she was even more drunk, if anything happens he can just blame it on the alcohol, both wanted the same thing.… Then why not have it?

Never before had Ethan broken his rules for anyone, but tonight he cannot resist any longer.

|~~~~~•~~~~~|~~~~~•~~~~~|

Casey's sobs were abruptly interrupted when she heard something from outside the bathroom, she tentatively opened the door slightly to peek, Ethan was still asleep. She snatched her bag that lay right outside the door.

Casey has never had a shower this quick, she dried her hair begging to God that Ethan will still be asleep. And just like that she was out of the room. Her eyes felt prickly, she knew that she was about to cry. How can she not? Ethan will never look at her in the same way again. He will probably only see disappointment and a mistake.

∆~~~°~~~∆~~~•~~~∆~~~°~~~∆

Ethan stirred in bed, trying to find a comfortable position. He let his hand fall off from the bed and hit the bedside table with a 'twack'. "Ouch!" His eyes abruptly opened, he immediately regretted it. Sunlight invaded his vision, and for a second he thought he was now blind. He sat up, making the sheet that was covered his taunt muscles now visible. He looked around confused, and suddenly remembered that he was in Miami. His head was killing him, he tried to recall last night's events.

'I and Casey got the formula from Nash, she went to drink at the open bar. I dragged her back into the room, we were talking…'

Then he remembered, her flustered face, her soft lips, her beautiful body…

Ethan went quiet, he knew this was coming. One way or another he was going to ruin everything. He didn't blame Casey, he couldn't.

It wasn't her fault.

It was his.

He cursed himself for being drunk, careless. Of course he would do something stupid the moment alcohol runs through his vains. He had a habit of drinking alone, the day he was drunk and alone with someone he did the unthinkable.

How many people already know? Were they too loud? Maybe they forgot to lock the door?

Ethan looked beside him to see the crumbled sheets in shape of a person, a place where Casey slept hours ago.

Does she hate him now?

•••••×•••••°•••••×•••••

"ah, Casey! Hi."

Casey heard Ines's voice behind her. "Hello Ines" Casey greeted her enthusiastic resident trying her best to sound happy,"Already had breakfast?"

"No, but me and Zaid were just on the way" Ines said happily, "Talking about Zaid…where is he" Casey asked glancing around to find the grumpy doctor. "Oh, he went to the bathroom" Ines said as both of them walked towards the Dinning Hall.

"You sure spend a lot of time around him" Casey remarked. Ines blushs, "We-well he is my friend! I like spending time with him!"

"But is that all there is to it?" Casey smiled warmly towards Ines, completely forgetting about the events that happened this morning.

"We are just friends, that's all!" Ines mumbled looking at the floor like a guilty child. "Ines, you should make a move or something. You two look cute together" Casey said to the blushing doctor.

You still have a chance, unlike me…

"Do you think…he likes me?" Ines asked so quietly it was almost inaudible, "Of course! He is like a happy puppy when he's around you" Casey laughed.

"By the way, why are you wearing a full buttoned up shirt? Isn't it hot? Ines asked curiously.

"W-well you see…"

Both of them continued walking towards the Dinning Hall.

+~~~~×~~~~+~~~~×~~~~+

Ethan quickly walked down the stairs, 'she should be in the dining hall right now'. He thought.

He came just in time to see her leave towards the elevator, "Rookie, wait!" He said loudly as he jogged towards her.

His chest tightened when he saw her face look at him in horror, the door to the elevator opened and she ran inside.

Ethan broke in a full fledged run, just as the door was about to close he smashed the elevator button. And the door opened again…

https://groovypalacehorselover.tumblr.com/post/638215403128127488/a-drunken-nightmare COMING SOON!

https://groovypalacehorselover.tumblr.com/post/638215403128127488/a-drunken-nightmare

Taglist (tell me if you wanna get added) :-

@caseyvalentineramsey @drariellevalentine @archxxronrookie @openheartfanfics @bellcat2010 @mayatrueman @maurine07 @kaavyaethanramsey @aarisa-frost @keenempathdeanfan

@nikki-2406 @terrm9 @iloveethanramsey

@shanzay44 @schnitzelbutterfingers @princess-geek @ramseysrookiex @kiara-36

@fayeswiftie

[mono-dot-jpeg]

tower of mistakes [pt.2] - o. tooru & k. kyotani

summary; i had to use you to make me feel strong.

genre; angst with no happy ending, angst, sad, there is no happy here, regrets were made

word count; 1.3k

warnings; dark themes, mentions of scooter ankle [su*cide], mentions of bullying

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ part 1

a/n; so people actually want a part two of my dumbass lowkey venting with a song? litty, this is gonna be following oikawa more than it will follow y/n and kyotani so yeah. take this sequel that will never top the first part

this one will be based off the song, “my time” by bo en. the translations might not be accurate so forgive me. i know the song isn’t abt scooter ankle but it fits well with the story.

Close you eyes, you’ll be here soon.

Oikawa didn’t think much after you left the team. One less person that could ruin the team right? He thought.

At first.

He saw you in the halls once in a while. You looked so dull...almost dead. It nearly scared him. What had happened after you left? Why did you look like that now?

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 minutes

As time passed by, he watched you from afar as others hurt you with words more than actions. Is this what happened even before you joined? He had wondered. He had noticed how the new manager got too close to his teammates. He can remember how you were too scared to get close to anyone. Yet, you were somewhat close to Kyotani. Why?

I really want to sleep. But I cannot.

But he realized, you saw him as a form of protection from the world. Even with how rough and rude Kyotani was, you found a safe place with him though it wasn’t much. It meant a lot to Oikawa when he noticed how you preferred the angry male over him at first but now that he looked back at it, it made sense. Kyotani kept people away, you just wanted a safe place away from others. He was that safe place.

The rumors and everything took that away from you. He took that away from you. Oikawa couldn’t imagine the pain you felt after you were forced to quit. He took away something you found safety in. The only safe place you had was taken away from you.

Goodnight.

The new manager seemed rather lazy as the days went by. Oikawa noticed it, Iwazumi noticed it, and even Kyotani noticed it. She did the bare minimum of her manager work. y/n would always do the most. Oikawa thought subconsciously. When the new manager finished the minimum of the work, she would be on her phone.

Goodnight.

y/n wouldn’t do that. He thought again. He can remember when you were so generous with helping the others. Iwazumi often had to scold you and tell you to take a break. Kyotani would even urge you to take a break. The new manager took a lot of breaks, it was questionable to the entire team if she really did her job as manager or not.

Goodnight.

Oikawa often used to find the girl snickers with others and pointing at someone. That someone was you but Oikawa never had a chance to find out.

Goodnight.

Oikawa was restless, what more did he take away from you? What more bad did he do before you went up and left without a trace? The rumors.

Goodnight, goodnight. Close your eyes and you’ll leave this dream.

He knew how bad rumors could get. He was popular after all. He can think about a few of those rumors that made you and Kyotani uncomfortable. Sometimes you were assumed to be a couple but you knew it was far from being that. 

That’s strike one.

Somebody had framed you for hurting someone. Everyone believed the rumor. Unfortunately, the team did too because all the evidence had pointed to you despite you knowing you never did it (and the mere fact that no one let you defend yourself).

That’s strike two.

You paid your way into the team. People had claimed. They thought you weren’t worthy enough to be a manager. Oikawa sometimes felt like that when it came to volleyball. He wondered how often you felt that way when you were in the team.

That’s strike three.

Goodnight, goodnight. I know that it’s hard to do.

Why couldn’t he realize it sooner? Maybe this wouldn’t have happened then. The dread that hung along every member of the team everytime your name would be uttered. People would talk about you as if you were an old friend but it was far from the truth. You were a victim. The team realized that. Fellow classmates didn’t want to acknowledge the truth. They were the cause of your demise.

Days go by. Oh, well. Moments passed, shattered glass.

The team lived with the guilt, the misery, the suffering of knowing that they could’ve done something but they didn’t. Oikawa watched the life get sucked out of the team as news of your death spread. It hit him rather hard but not as hard as it hit Kyotani. While Kyotani didn’t talk much to you, he liked your presence.

But his last words to you were, “Stop getting in my way!” He yelled at you before you got kicked off the team and that was the last time he talked to you. He regrets it now. He wished he didn’t push you away when you were only trying to care for him. His last words to you were burning in his mind. He hated it because he knew he was one of the reasons you were now gone. 

Hands of time. Where’s that chime?

He never said anything but he knew that you found a safe place with him. He was your safe place and he managed to mess it up when it was so easy to not mess it up. He knew a lot about your situation back then, he told you to ignore it. That he would take care of it. But he didn’t. That’s what made it hurt more. 

He was supposed to keep you safe. But he didn’t. 

In my head. I’ll just...I’ll just...I’ll just...I’ll just...

It was the day. More like the anniversary. It was the day you died. Oikawa swallowed the lump in his throat. It was his last year in Aoba Johsai, it would’ve been yours too. It was time to pay you a visit. The third years and second years stayed behind as the first years left the gym. There’s a dead silence. Everyone knew what was gonna happen.

The walk is short. Or maybe they were too fast. They all stood in front of the gravestone.

y/n l/n

Your name was engraved with the usual stuff that would be on a grave.

Hands of time will wring my neck. Every little moment spells regret.

Oikawa’s hands shake as he places the flowers the ground. He starts to talk as if you were still there. Still there and able to be their manager. Still there and alive. It doesn’t take long for the other to join in. They seemed to understand that Oikawa did this to cope easier. Iwazumi knew he did this every time they visited you. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t do it either.

But I don’t have to feel this way. As a voice inside my head.

“I’m sorry.”

Goodnight.

“We hurt you.”

Goodnight.

“You didn’t deserve it at all.”

Goodnight.

“I hope you will live peacefully in another life.”

Goodnight.

Kyotani was the first one to leave. He didn’t want to face you even in you were in a grave. He thought he didn’t deserve it. To see you. To even face you. That this was his fault. He walked. And walked.

Goodnight, goodnight. Close your eyes and you’ll leave this dream.

He stopped by the convenience store, walking right in to grab a drink and a snack. More specifically your favorites. It had become routine for him and you to go here and buy stuff. It was still routine for him. Maybe it was because it left so many memories for him. He didn’t wanna leave the memories. He wished he cherished them more.

Goodnight, goodnight. I know that it’s hard to do.

He arrived home, waving off his mother and father and going straight to his room. He was greeted by the corkboard that hung on his room. It was filled with memories. Memories that he wished that he was happier in. 

Goodnight, goodnight. Close your eyes and you’ll leave this dream.

Goodnight, goodnight. I know that it’s hard to do.

He sat on his bed, face buried in his hands. His shoulders trembling and before he knew it, he was crying. 

Goodnight, goodnight. Close your eyes and you’ll leave this dream.

Goodnight, goodnight. I know that it’s hard to do.

“Goodnight y/n. I wish I was there for you more.”

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu oikawa #haikyū!! #haikyuu+x+reader #haikyuu fanfic #oikawa tooru #tooru oikawa #haikyuu oikawa tooru #hq oikawa #oikawa toru x reader #anime #anime angst #anime x reader #haikyuu kentaro #kyoutani kentarou #hq kentaro #haikyuu kentaro kyotani #kentarou x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu angst

[thetypedwriter]

Imaginary Friend Book Review

Imaginary Friend by Stephen Chbosky Book Review 

This is undoubtedly the weirdest book I have ever read. 

You might be thinking… but, thetypedwriter you read fanfiction! This can’t be the weirdest thing you’ve ever read! Things like ABO universes exist!

You would think that, wouldn’t you?

But no. 

I shall endeavor to give you a spoiler free synopsis of the book first followed by my thoughts and criticism, but note that this is an endeavor for a reason. I have now explained this novel in depth to two different people, and both times I have found myself completely and irrevocably stuck on how to even begin, let alone end. 

With that forewarning, here we go. 

The novel surrounds a single mother and her young son moving to a small Pennsylvania town in order to escape the tragedies of their past that include the passing of her husband and her current abusive boyfriend. 

However, while things in their new home start out well-they find solutions to unemployment, poverty, the son’s dyslexia, etc, things start to go awry when Christopher, the son, is lured into the Mission Street Woods at the edge of town by a voice only he seems to be able to hear. 

As Christopher continues to listen to the voice in the form of a cloud, or a plastic bag, or even inside of his mind, he starts recruiting his friends to build a treehouse in the woods that will transport him to a different time and place. The voice, lovingly called the Nice Man, instructs him to finish the tree house by Christmas Day. 

Or else everyone will die. 

As Christopher struggles with newfound powers and responsibilities, coping with two different worlds, his mother struggles with her son’s sanity, the town struggles with anger, blame, and temptation, and what follows is the chaotic descent of a small town into the throes of good versus evil, love and loss, and most importantly, trying to differentiate what is real versus what is imaginary. 

In the simplest terms possible (a facetious statement if there ever was one), I thought this was going to be a thriller mystery book about a single mother and her young seven-year-old son Christopher leaving their home and her abhorrent abusive boyfriend in order to start a new life with hope and potential. 

And it….is? 

But it doesn’t stop there. Chbosky crams so many genres, themes, motifs, and messages into this book that when you think about it, it’s unsurprising that it’s over 700 pages long with the tiniest, most miniscule font I have ever had to squint at. 

However, make no mistakes like I did, this book is horror. 

Yup. You read that right folks, horror. 

To preface, and I might have mentioned this in another post for another book at some point, but I vehemently dislike horror of any kind. This extends to books, movies, shows, etc. 

I understand that horror is a great joy and pleasure for a vast amount of people and that it contains its own literary merit, tropes, and rules, and I can appreciate that for what it is from afar, but I personally take very little enjoyment from consuming anything horror related (I apologize to all the Stephen King fans out there in the world). 

I did not fully realize the extent to which this book was a true horror. 

This is entirely my own fault. I was very much blinded by the rosy colored glasses from college when I first read The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Chbosky’s first and only other novel. 

Perks is wonderful. It is a tragic, yet fundamentally hopeful and loving bildungsroman that shows the beauty and the pain of growing up and accepting yourself. The movie with Emma Watson is what dreams are made of. 

I committed author fraud when I picked up Imaginary Friend based on the pure speculation that I would most likely like it since he had written Perks, a book I adored as both a reader and a teacher. 

I’ve warned readers against this in the past, but it seems like I should have taken my own advice: just because an author has written one good book or one book you like, does not automatically mean you will like their second book, or any of their other books for that matter. 

This cannot possibly ring more true for Stephen Chbosky, as not only are his two books completely different in narrative and structure, but also vastly different in genre and purpose. 

I should have stuck with my gut and realized that I probably wouldn’t like this book based off the synopsis, the genre, and yes, even the cover (it looks scary to me, okay?), but I said noooooo, it’s Chbosky, you have to read it!

And this is where we ended up. 

First of all, I didn’t hate the book. 

I can recognize that it is extremely well written, well crafted, and well developed. I can enjoy a slew of characters, and oh boy are there a multitude to pick from, and I can give credit where credit is due. 

Chbosky is a talented writer. There is no doubt in my mind about this. The way he crafts words, the way he plays with texture and space, and with fonts and sizes, is nothing less of sheer brilliance. 

He undoubtedly is also masterful at motifs, foreshadowing, and symbolism. Notably, there were so many recurring objects, colors, metaphors, and so on that were sprinkled out so consecutively and intentionally throughout the novel-some I didn’t even pick up until the end-that I was left reeling from how immensely talented and brilliant he is. 

Things like his use of baby teeth, blue moon, and fogs/clouds/mist struck me in particular. I know this seems like gibberish, but Chbosky truly came across as understanding what he wanted to portray and how he wanted to deliver it. 

However, the biggest compliment I can give to Chbosky is the sheer magnitude of his imagination and creativity. This book almost overwhelmed me through the use of ideas and concepts I had never really thought of before. 

Alternate dimensions? Check. 

Supernatural powers? Check. 

Incredible use of diction and figurative language? Check and check. 

Chbosky had so many wild and tantalizing beautiful turns of phrases, expressions, and descriptions that it left me with the same sort of gasping epiphany that Maggie Steifvater’s writing always leaves me with, the feelings that writing can be so utterly beautiful and compelling, that it can be all-consuming as well as never ending with its potential to stun, to create, and to warp to unique needs and purposes. 

It definitely was a reading experience quite like any other I’ve had. 

Be that because of the horror genre or because of Chbosky’s odd, yet addicting writing style and this has definitely become a book that left me more than a bit dumbfounded. Although I’ve sung its praises and admitted to my own faults at this point, this book isn’t without flaws. 

To me the horror genre itself is just not my cup of tea like I’ve stated. Strike number one. 

Second, the book was...abysmally long. Atrociously long. As I’ve also said before, I do not mind large books. In fact, big books when you’re reading something you love is a true blessing. Finding that fanfiction at 3am that hooks you immediately and you look up to see its 300k? Amazing. 

Starting a new book series that you fall in love with body and soul and realize you have several installments left in the series to gorge and devour? Ecstasy. 

Sloughing through a single book that starts to drag on and on repetitiously for what seems like forever? Borderline hell. 

This book could have been 300 pages shorter and still contained everything Chbosky wanted to accomplish. It could have had the same brilliant writing, messages, and motifs, but without all of the never-ending back and forth between worlds and battles that just kept popping up time and time again. The abominable length considering its content is strike two. 

Last, the ending was a bit of a cluster. At this point in the novel, so much is going on, you are being exposed to so many pov’s that it’s almost stress-inducing, and events taking place are cataclysmic and 10/10 on drama. Chbosky bit off more than he could chew here. 

The book choked itself at the end, which, after reading for 700 pages is not the feeling you want to have. The ending left me befuddled, disappointed, and also bereft of a conclusive end and explanation for the shitstorm that had just rained down. It was not the ending I wanted, could understand, or could even really grasp. Strike three. 

This book has a plethora of merits followed by three enormous criticisms. If you like horror, then you’ve already crossed hurdle number one. If you can accept it’s repellant length (let alone have days upon days of free time to actually ingest said behemoth) then that’s hurdle number two. 

Hurdle three is up to you. Perhaps you would like the ending where as I found it lacking in structure, content, and answers. I like my endings tied up with neat little bows. I don’t like to be left thinking...hmmmm what does this mean? 

If I am going to read your massive book, I deserve an ending that satisfies the journey. Authors telling readers that it’s up for interpretation makes me want to strangle something. It comes across as enormously pretentious to me and oftentimes lazy. 

In the case of Chbosky, I think he had given himself so many loose threads that the neat little bow I desired was next to impossible. 

So he didn’t even try. 

Score: 6/10

Recommendation: If you love The Shining, are lacking bouts of creativity and imagination, have lots of free time during Quarantine, and don’t mind having an Inception-esque ending where you might not get all the answers you want, while being tasked with concocting it for yourself, Imaginary Friend might be your new best friend. 

Bonus: Here’s a pic of my kitty photo bombing this book shoot. Hope she brightens your day!

#imaginary friend #stephen chbosky #perks of being a wallflower #horror #horror book #stephen king #the shining #literature #books #book blog #book review #book rec #Book Recommendations #book reflection #book analysis #popular fiction #top books #booklover #book

[minalous]

when we were young • jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

description/warnings: none, maybe some kissing, hades!jungkook, mortal!reader || The man named Jungkook. The wonderful man who came into your life and changed it forever. Broken memories is all you have left of him, memories of him playing like a broken record inside your scattered mind. But you still love him, after all these years you love him. Always..

genre: angst | fluff

words: 2.2k

♡

“Is this the last time I get to hold you?”

You don’t leave his hand from yours, you keep holding him as close as you can to savour the last of moments you get to have him. His eyes meet yours in a desperate attempt to burn your image inside his mind, inside his heart. The memory of you will be his sweet remedy.

He was never meant to meet you, never meant to fall in love with you, never meant to hurt you.

He is a God who wanted to see humans from up close and experience those feelings and emotions he was never able to understand. He knew of pain, loss, love, lust, regret, loneliness. He knew how people reacted to the illusion of the existence of emotions, he wondered how humans could be so irrational of trusting one another, how they could be so blind to the truth.

The one truth for him was death. Death was simple, certain, inevitable. And love was the opposite; complicated, vague, inexplicable.

Jungkook’s curiosity was the fatal mistake. The mistake that comes to haunt him for the rest of his immortal life.

But at least you will have all those memories.. Broken memories of the most beautiful days of your mortal life

♡ The first time you met him was on a spring day. The beauty of the blossomed trees was mesmerising, everyone around you was too busy to enjoy how beautiful of a day it was, except for him. A man who had his eyes closed and he seemed so lost into the moment that it made your heart skip a beat. It was such a rare view, same to a hidden gem to still find people willing to stop and stare to the beauty nature can offer. You still remember watching him as if hypnotised, Jungkook reaching out to touch one of the branches of the tree and softly whisper to it.

Every now and then you would see him around the city, it would be more than unavoidable not to notice him. The way he moved around was the equivalent of aristocratic. His manners were out of this world but whenever you were to steal some glances, his eyes would seem so full of curiosity and excitement. Everything was going so well, you looking at him from afar until the day Jungkook’s eyes stared into yours and at that moment you swear you felt infinite.

The days would come and go so quickly since you met him, getting to know him was a new experience to the both of you. Jungkook seemed to know every little thing for the universe itself but when it came to the smallest of things, he acted as a child ready to get a candy within his grasp. It was beautiful and rare to interact with someone who was spellbound by you, someone who was both excited and anxious about the new things you could explore together.

Jungkook was the person you had been waiting your whole life for; he would message you to ask you if it was okay to go on another date but would always ask you if it was too cold for you to go out. His consideration about everything would seem annoying to someone else but to you was the sweetest of things.

♡

The warmth of the winter sun is one of the moments you can still recall with great ease, the faint wind blowing the last of the leaves away and the scenery unravelling before you was so breathtaking. The sea looked as if taken from an ancient painting, put before your eyes and waiting for you to step inside it, to be taken in another world. A world were you can be with him, just you and Jungkook.

That day, the day when you spent hours and hours of sharing moments, dreams and wishes for the future to come, you could feel the longing in your heart. It was a feeling you could not shake away, a feeling screaming you were about to suffer a great loss. But Jungkook was right there beside you, so what could go wrong?

And on that day when you were so scared about your future with him, it was the day you shared your first kiss. The kiss felt pure, filled with emotions, so full of love and longing. It was the kind of kiss you wait for a thousand lives, a kiss you only have once.

♡

You remember the first time you saw him gazing at the snow as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world. His eyes met the endless of the night sky and when a small snowflake hit his warm cheek you could swear his childlike, innocent smile was the purest form of love you ever felt in your life. Jungkook turned around to see your sweet smile, the smile you only had for him.

“I wish I could feel like that everyday” Jungkook said suddenly

“Like what?” you asked softly

“I wish everyday was like that; waking up by your side and not have a care for the world. Just you and I” he told you as his fingers brushed against your hand “It feels right to be here with you, to live this moment, to share it with you” his fingers now intertwined with yours and as he was about to start walking again, he put your hands inside his coat’s pocket.

“Your innocence makes me love you even more..”

♡

“My selfishness brought us here.” Jungkook was muttering to himself

You may not have been able to completely understand what was going through his mind but deep inside, deep inside you knew it had to be this uneasy feeling you always had. The love you were experiencing with him was too good to be true, you being happy for once in your life was not meant to last.

“What is it?” you asked him softly but in vain

Jungkook was picking up random stuff he had left scattered around his house, moving around from room to room to collect items he may have forgotten. Before you could even recollect your thoughts, ask him what is happening, he spoke again.

“It was all worth it. It is worth it”

With his hand wrapped around your waist he ever so carefully guides you towards the front door.

“Please wait for me at the car. I will be there in a few minutes” you are about to complain but he stops you

“Please don’t fight me on that. Go. Just go. Please..” he says softly and with a soft kiss on the top of your head, he gives you a bittersweet smile and closes the door behind you.

But knowing you, you do not leave. You simply stand there, behind the closed door, wondering why all out of the sudden he began being so mysterious and weird around you. For one, you knew for sure there were parts of him you could never quite understand in depth but that was what you loved about him.

The door you thought. You could open the door and go see what was the reason of his absurd behaviour, why he was acting so differently. All kind of thoughts were running through your mind; him being terminally ill. Why was your mind your worst enemy? The anxiety was about to consume you whole so your body did you a favour, your hand pushed the door open.

No, you cannot lose him. Not him.

You could never remember what you saw that day, the only memory was waking up inside Jungkook’s arms, him being a trembling mess. He kept apologising about corrupting your innocent soul, his aura influencing your mind. How he could be so oblivious to the threats he made you face.

That was the day he revealed who he was, that was the day you lost him forever.

♡

“It was never your fault. It is not your fault you chose to love me. It is my fault, mine and only. This human heart inside my chest beats only for you and every cell in this body screams out its love for you. If I were ever meant to be on this earth and live a human life, I would be honoured to be yours, to be your soulmate.” Standing still for a moment, Jungkook’s eyes follow the tears threatening to fall from the corners of your eyes. When his hand softly cups your cheek, you instinctively lean on his touch with his warmth blinding your thoughts.

“We need to say goodbye. Should I stay more, I may never be able to leave” Jungkook feels something wetting his cheek and for a moment he is confused by the strangeness of it.

“You’re my tear” he says as he wipes the drop of tear “You’re the emotions I never had”

For he was the Angel of death, protector of the damned souls, an immortal God who should have never fallen in love with the mortal you. He was Hades.

And you.. The mortal you. You were everything he could dream of but never could possess.

A love doomed into the eternity with no hope to blossom. An eternal hope of a spring day that shall remain frozen into the coldness of his winter

“I wish I’d be your last” the voice you heard was so faint but you knew. You knew it was him, wishful thoughts of you being there for him and him being with you for the rest of your days..

♡

“I miss you”

This faint whispering you keep listening must be a mistaken memory of yours. The old you has been thinking of him, recalling everything dear and beautiful you have been keeping close to your heart all these years. You are alone in this world, falling into deep thoughts of how different your life could have been if you ever chose to marry the man called Namjoon, the man who begged you to let him heal your broken heart. But your heart wasn’t yours to heal. It ever belonged to him, the voice you have been wishing to remember until it is impossible to forget.

Old and alone. Because how could you ever love without Jungkook? But you lived a happy life, you lived until you would see him again.

“I still want you”

This voice. Even after all these years the voice never leaves you alone. Is it a dream?

The room seems to get darker around you, the light on your nightstand can barely illuminate the corners of it. There is no fear though for what it is to come, this familiar feeling of complete serenity is bathing your soul and for once in a long time you feel at peace.

“It is time, my love” the voice says.. But it is right beside you now.

“Finally” you can barely get out “you came back for me”

“I never left” you can now see Jungkook’s beautiful face, his figure towering over your smaller, weaker frame

“You are still so beautiful, so young” you tell him and you can see him smile, after decades of missing him, he is here

“So are you” Jungkook leans down to place a soft kiss on your lips and heaven knows how long you have waited for this moment to come

Jungkook ever so carefully helps you get up from the bed, feeling lightweight after months of not being able to stand on your own. He guides you in front of the standing mirror in one of the corners of your room.

“Am I young again?” you say in disbelief

“We can have our second chance in afterlife. Come with me, my love”

You turn around to face the truth; your old, lifeless body is laying peacefully on the bed but you do not feel ready to leave. The love of your life is standing centimetres away from you but still, you are not complete.

“I have one last question before I leave this world.” you start “ The day before you left me, something happened, something that scared you.”

Jungkook calmly explained to you what he found out while being with you, how he was slowly claiming your soul. Being the God of Death, it was inevitable, you were cursed to live separately while being mortal. He never meant to hurt you..“I waited for you. Until it was your time to leave this earthly world and be with me. I waited..”

“Are you ready?” Jungkook asks you but you keep looking back at the nightstand

“Just one moment” you respond, walking back to your nightstand to shuffle through your belongings. 

“Take my hand now, love” is all he had to say and you willingly followed. You were ready to let go

In the last moment you had left in the earthly world, you wished to leave the most precious thing you ever had in your possession, to be left with what you loved the most. You had placed it in your hand so you can be with it, body and soul.

A gift from Jungkook to you, a beautiful gift that had “Forever yours” written on its back. A photograph of when you were young. 

“I am ready” 

#msnbqd2020 #magicshopnet #ficswithluv #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook imagines #Jungkook Fanfiction #jungkook x reader

[saiilorstars]

Dare To Forget Me

Ch. 29: Help Me Help Him 

Previous chapters // Masterlist of all OCs

Fandom: SVU // Pairing:  Rafael Barba x OFC

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

Taglist: @ocfairygodmother @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel​ @stareyedplanet @perfectlystiles @averyhotchner [If you’d like to be added to this specific OC’s stories/edits, send me a message!]

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ` 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

Chapter Summary: Montserrat struggles as her brother is arrested for charges she simply cannot believe in. But to help him get out, she'll need help from a person she would never otherwise speak to.

It was all a blur, really, how fast Montserrat got to the precinct where her brother was being kept. In all her rushing, she missed someone snap a picture of her from afar when she went into the building. It was Rafael who had briefly stopped at the entrance to look around. He was quite used to the feeling of being 'watched' due to his profession...and right now was one of those moments. But, as much as he looked, all he saw was the typical bustling streets he always saw. By the time he caught up with Montserrat, she was already speaking with Casey, more like frantically shouting 'what the hell is going on' and not giving Casey a chance to explain.

"I just don't understand how any of this could be happening!" Montserrat's loudness was attracting the attention of the others in the precinct, but she didn't care. "How the hell is my brother in jail!? How did he get arrested!? Why did he get arrested!? How did -" she stopped talking midsentence and went for the front desk...only to be yanked back by Casey.

"You need to calm the hell down," snapped the older cousin in a quiet warning.

But instead of heeding Casey's warning, a humorless laugh slipped through Montserrat's lips. "You can't be serious?" And just like that, her smile vanished and she wrestled free of Casey's grip. "My brother's in jail!" she snapped through gritted teeth. "So don't you tell me to calm the hell down!" She pushed past Casey and went for the front desk.

Casey took a moment for herself so she wouldn't kill her cousin on the spot. Her eyes were soon on Rafael and so she made a gesture for him to take a shot. "Your turn."

"I'd rather not," he wasn't afraid to admit. "I've never seen her like that…"

Because even now, Montserrat was arguing the hell out of it with the poor cop stuck behind the other side of the front desk. She was almost as red as her hair.

"I'm here because she asked me to come with her," he went ahead and explained after Montserrat was allowed to go see her brother. "I was there when you called her."

"Ah," Casey turned around and watched as Montserrat disappeared behind a door. "I debated really hard whether or not to call her - Gael didn't want her to know."

"What's he doing here?" Rafael was admittedly curious to know how an architect landed himself in jail. As far as he knew, Gael was a law-abiding man.

"One of the buildings he finished collapsed on some people and now they're saying he's responsible because he failed to add in some parts during construction."

Rafael examined Casey's anger and how her eyes seemed to accuse the room itself for something. "And you don't look like you believe it."

"Because it's bullshit," she turned to him. "Gael is a talented architect. He's never once had any complaint against him. He knows how to do his job just like we do. He would never miss something so crucial."

Rafael couldn't outright agree with Casey's solely because he didn't know Gael very much. Yes, Casey could be right and something was off in this case or...sometimes people did make mistakes. Either way, he knew Montserrat would get hurt in both situations and that's what worried him the most.

~ 0 ~

"I don't understand why you're in here," Montserrat was really trying her best not to shout because she knew no matter how she felt, Gael had to feel worse. She curled her hands around the cell's bars and stared at her older brother in a mixture of tears and anger.

Gael sat on the lone bench and just shook his head. It seemed like he was past the anger and denial phase and was set into acceptance. "Cos I missed something, Montse. The building Damian and I worked on for months was...it collapsed." And even from the way he said it, the way his face morphed into utter confusion was a clear indication this wasn't true.

"But you're Gael, you have that annoying talent of not missing a thing!"

"Everyone misses something at one point."

"But you don't. Especially when it comes to your job. Walk me through it, please," Montserrat inched closer to the cell. "This building...what happened to it?"

"I don't know," Gael's voice cracked. Montserrat's heart might be cracking too. She never saw her brother this dejected. "I-I mean...I went over the plans a million times. Damian gave it a look too. We did things by the book. Nothing should have broken, nothing should have...collapsed." He raised his gaze to meet his sister's anguished face. "I swear Montse, I have no idea why the building collapsed."

"I believe you," Montserrat nodded. "But now I'm going to get you a lawyer, okay? In the meantime, don't say a word to anyone."

"The company I work for is already appointing one for me. They're doing another investigation or something-"

"-alongside the precinct's," Montserrat finished for him, already knowing the process. "Yeah. I don't care. I'm getting you a lawyer from our end."

"Where are you going to get a lawyer from?"

"Ha, you forget I work at SVU. We've come across several defense lawyers who are...vicious. I'm getting you one of those," Montserrat had a brief smirk on her face before she saw her brother's weak smile. "Hey, don't worry, okay? I'm going to get you out."

Gael shook his head. "My girls…"

"I'll take care of them," Montserrat quickly volunteered herself.

But Gael shook his head again. He pushed himself up from the bench and walked up to the cell bars. "Your job is a 10 hour shift almost every day. You don't have time to take care of a 4 year old and a 15 year old-"

"-I will make the time, I swear," Montserrat pushed one of her hands in-between the bars and took Gael's hand. "They can stay with me and Kara."

"What are you going to tell them?" Gael bitterly smiled to himself. "That their father is responsible for putting people in the hospital?"

"It's not your fault," Montserrat said slowly. "We'll figure this out, okay? You and I...Dad…"

"Oh God, Dad…" Gael brought his free hand to his forehead. "What the hell is he going to say?"

"That you're innocent, what else?" Montserrat's obvious answer made no difference for Gael right now. She gripped his hand and made him look at her. "Naša rodina môže byť malá, ale sme mocní," she whispered. "We may be small, but we are mighty. Novaks don't go down."

Gael gave a small nod, but from where he stood...he believed he was already down.

~ 0 ~

After leaving Gael, Montserrat went straight for the front desk again and this time got herself through an entire group of cops until she had the Captain in front of her. There, she - along with Casey and Rafael - got the information she needed to know about Gael's process.

And it was not pretty. At all.

"He's going to be arraigned soon," Montserrat said in disbelief once the trio were out of the precinct.

"They move fast, you know that," Casey's reminder came at a full moment.

"I told him I'd get him a lawyer. I didn't want to tell him but when a company faces a lawsuit, they hang their employees up to dry," Montserrat bit her lower lip like it was gum. "They won't care what happens as long as they get free."

"Then we find him one. It's not like we're short-handed of defense lawyers," Rafael's words rang the exact thought Montserrat had earlier.

"Yeah. And I know exactly who I want," she smirked for the briefest of moments.

~0~

It was hard swallowing pride but when it was about family, Montserrat would do anything. That's why she was sitting with Rita Calhoun at the DA's building. Somewhere hell was freezing over, she knew.

"Let me get this straight," Rita put her things down on the conference table, her expression a mixture of amusement and confusion, "I got called in because you want me to help you?"

"Yes." Even one word was hard enough for Montserrat to say.

Rita wanted to smile but the confusion won out. "But you don't even have my number."

"Yeah, I know, so if this all works out I am going to owe two people now. Look, you're going to be paid so are you helping me or not?"

"I never turn down a client," Rita now fully smiled as she took a seat.

Montserrat so badly wanted to say she knew Rita wouldn't, considering the type of clients she represented. But instead, Montserrat sat down too and began to explain the situation. To her credit, Rita did listen attentively to the story. "Gael swears he checked everything. He's innocent."

"They always are," Rita dismissively said but Montserrat slammed a fist down on the table.

"He is!" she snapped. "He's done this job for a very long time. There is no reason this should've happened."

"Alright," Rita made a 'take it easy' gesture with a hand. "I get it."

"So will you help me?" Montserrat's question sounded more like a beg than a question. "I will pay you whatever you want."

"I'm in," Rita smiled. "Because if you're right, and they wrongly accused your brother... he's gonna have a field day filing through lawsuits against the city."

Montserrat rolled her eyes, but somewhere inside she admitted that she agreed with Rita. It was an unusual crave for revenge she felt for the sake of her brother. They wronged him, he deserved compensation. But right now, they first needed to focus on getting Gael out.

"He's being arraigned soon," she told Rita as they walked out of the conference room.

"Alright, I'll go see him right now. I'll keep you posted." Rita made to leave but stopped when she saw her usual nemesis coming towards them. Oh, she wanted to say a lot of things right now. Chances like these were rare. "Never thought I'd see the day when you would call me for help, Rafael."

There was an honest-to-god hatred radiating from Rafael - it was a real struggle not to snap back like he usually would - but he forced his mouth to stay shut until he could say something decent. "I...know your tactics very well." That could be a compliment, right?

Rita's eyebrows raised for a minute, clearly amused of his restraint...because she knew he had a lot more to say. "Really? And what are those tactics you're talking about?"

"Could you please just go see my brother already?" Montserrat cut into the woman's fun. She had her arms crossed and an impatient expression on her face. "I am paying you, after all." Rita pointed at the ginger that she was right and got moving again.

"I take it, it went well?" Rafael asked her once Rita was gone.

"Yeah, I mean, she didn't laugh in my face so…" Montserrat dropped her arms to her sides. "Let's see if her vicious ways can actually help me this time."

"She will."

Montserrat sighed and turned to him with one weak smile, probably the only one she'd be able to muster for that day. "Thank you for calling her, though. I know that took...a lot out of you."

"Calling Rita Calhoun for help? I mean...at least now I can say I've done it all," Rafael tried to be humorous but it wasn't working. "Okay," he nodded slightly and stepped closer to her, "I would call Buchanon if you needed me to."

Montserrat smiled briefly at him. She knew he absolutely hated Buchanon. With Rita, it was more of a frenemy type of relationship that was almost always on the 'enemy' side...but still a lot better than Buchanon. "I wouldn't do that you."

"But if you needed me to, I really would. So let me know if Rita doesn't work out, alright?" he gave her a steady look until she nodded. She really wished she could hug him right now, but he was just being a friend.

"Listen, I didn't know whether or not to mention this but...Liv just called," Rafael unknowingly pulled her back to the present. "Nick got himself arrested."

It was definitely enough to reel Montserrat back to the present and shake those thoughts out of her head for a good while. "What!? What do you mean-"

"-he went after Simon Wilkes and sent him to the hospital."

"Oh God," Montserrat passed a hand through her ginger curls. "Maybe he and Gael might see each other for arraignment, then."

"Liv was just calling to see if I knew where you were. They need you back at the precinct. I didn't tell her anything about your situation. But please, don't go if you're not ready."

"Are you kidding? Nick's in trouble-"

"-but so are you," Rafael grabbed her flapping arms and forced her to stay still and, by consequence, her mind. She was definitely on the road to spiraling or at the very least spreading herself too thin. "So take care of yourself first. And if not yourself, then your nieces. You have to go pick them up soon, right?"

"Well, yeah…" Montserrat swallowed hard just at the mere reminder she was going to be the one to tell her nieces that their father was in jail. "But Murphy is going to have a go at me with my absences."

"Screw him. You do what you need to do first."

"Easy for you to say when your job is secure."

"Montserrat, stop being so difficult." Rafael honestly felt like that phrase 60% of his vocabulary when it came to her. The only difference right now was that he really was just trying to help her. There was no sarcasm. "For once, just listen to me."

Montserrat sighed. Even in situations like these, it was actually hard taking his advice without bickering. "Fine," she relented. "But I'm not just going to ignore Nick's situation. Keep me posted while I'm gone?"

"I will if you'll keep me updated."

It was a fair deal and Montserrat knew it. "Okay," she nodded her head. "Thank you...for that. And everything else."

"Of course. Now go," Rafael let her go and hoped she would really listen to him this time. She looked so lost, so unlike herself. It wasn't right. He wished there was more he could for her, but what?

~0~

"Why are you picking me up?" Juliana immediately asked when Montserrat pulled up to her high school's pick-up driveway. The fifteen year old gave her aunt a narrowed-eyed stare while Montserrat did her best to keep her smile on her face.

"Just...get in," she unlocked the passenger's seat and motioned Juliana to come in.

The teenager pulled the door open and got into the car. She put her seat belt on then shifted on her seat to better face Montserrat. "Why are you picking me up?"

"Jesus, can't I surprise you or something?"

Juliana's face scrunched in confusion. "Why are you lying?"

Montserrat's nervous laugh didn't exactly help her case. "I'm not - I'm just picking-"

"Aunt Montse, seriously," Juliana leaned against her seat and watched as they pulled into a new street. "I'm not a child. That stuff can work on Ivana, but not on me."

"It's…" Montserrat sighed. Yeah, she knew she wouldn't be able to hide it from Juliana but she figured she'd at least have some time before she had to explain things. "We need to pick your sister up and then you'll be coming to stay with me for a few days."

"What?" Juliana frowned for a few seconds as she studied her aunt's face. There was a ping at the bottom of her stomach when she realized Montserrat was pale as could be and nervous. "You're picking at your nails again."

Her notice startled Montserrat because, up until now, no one had realized it was one of her nervous ticks. Even after last year, the picking her nails had remained one of her secrets.

"Is my dad dead?" Juliana's question was barely above an audible whisper, but the dread of the mere possibility had the teenager white as a sheet.

"Oh God no!" Montserrat immediately said, exclaiming to the point where she unexpected stop their car. Their bodies lurched forwards but ultimately they were good. "No, your Dad is not dead. He is alive and w…" but she trailed off when it became apparent that Gael was not well. How could he be?

And Juliana saw that. "Aunt Montse, where's my Dad?"

Montserrat sucked in a deep breath. Her eyes gazed to the road ahead and no matter how hard she thought about it, she knew there was no easy way to tell her niece where Gael was. "Let's get your sister first."

~0~

Kara had learned the news from her brother, Damian, who'd gotten a call from their company prior. So when the door opened up, Kara jumped from the couch to help Montserrat but Juliana stormed into the apartment.

"Jules, hey, what are you…" Kara trialed off as the teenager stormed right past her, into the hallway, and straight into the bathroom where she slammed the door shut. Kara flinched when the door sounded like it would fall off its hinges.

Montserrat came in a few seconds later with Ivana in her arms. The four year old looked upset but it was more tears and pouts than anger.

"Oh Montserrat," Kara didn't know who to help first.

"That is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do," Montserrat's own eyes glistened with tears. It was difficult explaining to Juliana and Ivana why their father was in jail even though he was innocent. She didn't have the answers to their questions, and much less than comfort they desperately needed.

"I'm so sorry," Kara walked over and hugged Montserrat (and Ivana) tightly. "I'm here if you need anything."

"Thanks. Um, for starters, I needed to bring the girls here...sorry…"

"No, that's fine! We can take care of them here between us two."

"My Dad's going to pick them up from school so I'll just bring them in the morning. You won't notice them-"

"-stop, Montse," Kara started pulling Ivana from Montserrat's arms. The four year old would go with anyone at this point. "You're family. This is what we do."

"Well…" Montserrat took a moment to breath in and out. "I've no idea what I'm doing."

There was a brief knock on the door before Sonny poked his head into the apartment. At Montserrat's questioning look, he quickly said, "I got a key now," and walked in.

"Of course you do," Montserrat playfully rolled her eyes.

"I saw you pulling up. I heard what happened with your brother," he came up to her and gave her a hug of support. "I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, so am I," Montserrat sighed. She didn't even question the fact Kara must have already told him ahead of time. "I don't understand how this happened. My brother does not mess up like this. Putting people in the hospital because of negligence? I don't think so."

"I'm sure we'll figure it out. It's what we do best, right?" Sonny flashed her a friendly smile. He was there if she needed him too.

"Yeah," she gave a small nod and turned to the hallway. "Juliana locked herself in my room, didn't she?"

"Bathroom. And that's gonna need to change because...yeah…" Kara awkwardly made a face.

"She's just so mad and I...I can't blame her. How do I get her to come out?"

"Leave her a few minutes in there so she can cool down," Sonny suggested. "I have 3 sisters. I know how this pans out."

"Aw, poor you," Kara pretended to pout, leading him to roll his eyes at her.

He walked over to her and tried tickling Ivana so that she would at least look up from Kara's shoulder. "Hey c'mon, your aunt Montse says you love eating pasta. How about we make that for dinner, hm?" Ivana only lifted her head slightly so that she could meet his gaze from Kara's shoulder. "I'm going to need a helper because between you and me, your aunt Montse and Kara aren't very good at cooking."

"Hey!" went the two women with the same frowns. Kara even smacked his arm with a free hand.

"What!? I'm helping!" Sonny argued and ultimately got Ivana to accept his arms as a new holding place. "What kind of veggies do you want to put?"

Ivana pouted but she did answer after a few minutes, "My Daddy always puts broccoli."

"Broccoli?" Sonny was surprised to hear that a four year old willingly ate broccoli. "Yeah, definitely can do that then. C'mon, let's go see if we have everything we need."

Montserrat stopped him with a hand on his arm and whispered a "thank you" to him. Kara pulled Montserrat to the couch and sat her down, figuring it'd been a long day without breaks.

"How's your Dad?"

"Better than me, I guess," Montserrat shrugged. "He's meeting with Rita. But I think right now we're all just...lost."

"This isn't forever, Montse," Kara tried to sound as reassuring as possible. "We're going to get him out."

Montserrat nodded like she wanted to believe it, and she did, but right now the way she felt made everything seem so far and lost. Helpless.

Someone knocked on the door and when Kara went to open it, she found Damian on the other side. The two exchanged knowing looks before Damian walked in.

Soon as Montserrat saw him, she stood up from the couch. "What did they-"

"-business doesn't know how this happened either," Damian shook his head. "I did the evaluations. I know everything was put together the way it needed to be."

"Any evidence of that?"

"Yes. All documented."

Something lit in Montserrat's face. "Then we can show that and-and we can get Gael out." She rushed up to Damian and threw her arms around him. "Oh my God, thank you Damian!"

"What's going on?" Sonny emerged from the kitchen with Ivana behind his legs. He immediately eyed the hugging duo across and frowned.

"Damian might have what you guys need to free Gael," Kara grinned. "Isn't that great!?"

"Yeah, I mean...how?" Sonny asked, now wondering how long he'd been in the kitchen.

"It's protocol that we document each time we check to make sure everything was done right," Damian explained.

Montserrat slightly pulled away to smile at him. "You might have saved my brother."

"Don't I always do that?" Damian's light joke actually pulled a laugh from her.

Sonny smiled as did Kara, but the former just knew this whole ordeal was just a way for Damian to impress Montserrat. And the worst part was, he wasn't even doing it on purpose. It just so happened it worked out in his favor.

And Rafael without a single clue about it.

There he was in his office, attempting to do some work but his mind couldn't seem to focus. In fact, every few minutes or so, his eyes would end up flickering to his phone sitting at the edge of the desk as if it would ring. But what was he expecting? For Montserrat to call him at this hour? He was the one who told her to take some space between her and her work and whether or not he wanted to admit it, he was only part of her 'work life'. That was it. And the reminder of that made Rafael stop working until he could accept it (again) and continue his work. The cycle had been going on for the last couple of hours.

It was going to be a long night.

With all those thoughts in his head, Rafael didn't notice the office door opening to let someone in. "Rafael?"

The call of his name wasn't what startled him, it was who called him that was startling. Perhaps dreadful too. He got up on an instinct but despite having so many things rushing through his mind, he couldn't string two words together. So, only one came out instead. "Yelina?"

#ocappreciation #svu #rafael barba #fd: svu #law and order svu #svu fics #rafael barba fics #svu imagines #rafael barba imagines #oc: Montserrat Novak

[100hearteyes]

Lexa travels back in time to prevent her girlfriend’s death, for which she was responsible, from happening.

TW: past character death, grief.

(thank you @butmakeitgayblog for the moodboard and beta’ing.)

–

Three moments.

Three key moments, however inconsequential they may seem, triggered a chain of events which culminated in Clarke and Lexa meeting for the first time.

For Lexa, it was instant attraction. For Clarke, although they would only find out many years later, it was the promise of doom.

“You can’t just erase me from your existence, you know? I’ll still be there.”

I might still die, is what Clarke doesn’t say. Lexa hears it anyway.

Nowadays, Clarke is but a ghost. Literally. Lexa has no idea how or even why it happened, but it had been an exact year since her girlfriend died when her non-corporeal form first showed up.

It was… gut-wrenching. Lexa has no words for how painful it was to see the love of her life in otherworldly tones of grey and not be able to touch her. It’s become easier with time, but she suspects this hollow ache that pulsates every time Clarke appears to her will ever go away.

“You’re the one who told me there was a way. You said it would work.”

This Clarke is Clarke, or rather the continuation of her; but she’s also not exactly the woman Lexa knew, regardless of the shape she has taken. This Clarke is rude and unsympathetic and has little to no regard for boundaries.

She’s an unpleasant version of the love of Lexa’s life.

Still, it’s hard to dissociate them. Lexa must do it, though, for the sake of her own sanity.

“I said you could avoid being the reason why I die,” Clarke states. “I meant it. You can.”

This journey has taken Lexa to remote places and from each she took tokens of different cultures and outlooks on life. She’s learned about grief and guilt. She’s learned to accept what she cannot control and respect what she doesn’t know. Above all, she’s come to a realization: if this doesn’t work, she can take the final steps to let go. This isn’t the final step towards the precipice.

Two years ago, Lexa would’ve lost herself looking for Clarke. Now, she’s finding herself again, parsing through the grief and plucking the parts of her she’d lost after everything that happened. And the puzzle is coming together, piece by piece and day by day, creating a new version of her which may not be whole anymore and may not be exactly who she was before — but it’s her, and it’s imperfect and it’s beautiful.

Lexa has learned to love herself again.

So this isn’t a desperate Hail Mary, her one last resort, the final step into madness. If anything, wherever it may lead her, this is closure.

The first door she opened was in Cape Town, South Africa, where Clarke was born before her family moved back to the States.

It was a cold December morning. On her side of the door, Lexa was thirty and falling apart. On the other side, Clarke was five and building a tower with Lego blocks.

Lexa felt herself staring long into an abyss.

All she had to do was relocate a single object and leave through the same door she’d come from. Days later, when she returned to her home country, she found out Jake was still alive. His daughter was not, though.

The second door she opened almost three months later. February 25th, Lexa’s home city. All she did was drop Anya’s phone into a lake.

When she came back, all her problems were gone.

It sent her reeling.

Lexa began to wonder; was she doing this for Clarke, or for herself?

She was meant to open the third and final door just a week later, but spent the 3rd of March holed up in her apartment, curled into a ball on the couch. She had jumped into this without a second thought, out of a selfish desire to relieve herself of the guilt of Clarke’s death.

Someone else had paid the consequences. Someone else was making her mistakes now and paying for them. Someone else was going to have a loved one ripped from their life.

What right did Lexa have to unload her burden onto someone else’s shoulders?

It took her months to get back on her feet. If the past year and a half had been an amalgam of denial, anger, and, with her selfish undertaking, bargaining, her second voyage in time had triggered the stage of depression, reflection, and loneliness.

It was then that she finally came to terms with ghost Clarke’s presence in her life. The afterlife form of her girlfriend gave her the tough love she needed to push herself off the ground. Clarke punched Lexa into motion and through it, Lexa found acceptance.

Lexa loves herself, now. She loves herself like she never did before, even when Clarke’s love made her feel invincible. Now, she sees the cracks and hard edges, the places where the cloth of her doesn’t reach far enough to breach the gaps, and she’s made peace with it.

Her shortcomings are no longer defined by her limits, but rather what she lets herself be limited by.

Lexa flexes her fingers. “What happens if I open this door?”

“I turn right instead of left. We never cross paths on the Brooklyn Bridge.”

This door has been locked for two years. Lexa never opened it, afraid of the crushing feelings that may lurk behind it. Behind it is Clarke’s studio, where she spent hours painting, the outside world all but forgotten. Lexa would sit in the corner, laptop perched on crossed legs, pretending to work but really watching Clarke print her talent on canvas.

Lexa feels ready to open it, now, even if what she finds behind it is a row of paintings leaning on purple walls, rather than gray skies and the wooden planks of the Brooklyn Bridge.

She has two conditions, though. Her fingers tighten on the handle.

“Do you live?”

“Lexa, you know I can’t–” Clarke stops short at Lexa’s stern glare and sighs. “Yes.”

But that’s not enough. Lexa won’t be selfish again — she doesn’t just want Clarke to survive; she wants her to live.

“Will you be happy?”

Clarke averts her eyes, then swallows. However, when her eyes meet Lexa’s after she’s taken a fortifying breath, there is nothing but honesty in them. “Yes.”

“Were you?”

Lexa’s heart constricts as Clarke’s eyes well with tears. What does it take to make a ghost cry?

Clarke nods, tries to get hold of her emotions. Her lips tremble and Lexa wants desperately to take her in her arms. If only she could.

“More than I can ever put into words.”

–

March 3rd, the day everything changed.

Twice.

The day Lexa found Clarke and the day she lost her.

Lexa opens the door and finds herself once again on that day, seven years ago, when she was trying to balance three cardboard boxes while speed walking down the Brooklyn Bridge, trying not to crash into any people — or worse, topple over the railings and fall to a wet death.

It was fruitless, of course. Just about to cry mission accomplished, she collided with something solid and everything in her hands went flying.

Not this time.

This time, Lexa changes the course of events and Clarke never crosses that bridge.

She watches from afar as her past self makes it to the other end of the bridge unscathed and a whole new life rolls out in front of her.

“You did well.”

Clarke appears at her side, colorless though still beautiful. There is a nostalgia to her expression, a knife that slashes at the relief that blankets it.

As she studies Clarke’s face and her mind fills the grays with color, drawing memories along the light edges dark lines, Lexa finds herself unwilling to let go. She moves to take Clarke’s hand, but catches herself at the last moment, remembering the colors she’s seeing are a figment of her memories and there is nothing she can touch.

Clarke notices, though, and regards her with such sympathy and compassion Lexa wants to run away with her and never open the door again.

“Come with me.”

They stroll down the bridge, side by side, their tranquility offsetting the electric current stringing everyone around them; the runners and the hurried, the young and the old, together. They find a bench to sit on and stay there for a while, watching the river run its course and the sun arch over the city and the people fall into slumber as the hours go by.

Can she stay here? Can she live a life in a world not her own, in a time asynchronous to hers, under the guise of having Clarke at her side?

She knows the answer to those questions. She’s long since learned that what she wants isn’t always what she needs — and vice versa.

“I’m proud of you.” Lexa meets Clarke’s gaze. Human or ghost, and despite the absence of color, Clarke’s eyes are beautiful. Lexa has always found solace in them, a rock to hold on to in times of need. She hopes she’s been able to provide even a fragment of that same comfort. “How are you feeling?”

It takes Lexa a few moments to sift through the throng of thoughts and feelings which this day has brought forth. Even now, she has doubts. But greater than anything, and the driving force behind her actions, is the desire to make things right.

She finds a feeling amongst the rubble and makes it hers. Peace. She feels…

She feels at peace.

However, after spending two years with the grumpy ghost of the woman of her life, Lexa is also feeling nostalgia as well as the pain over her upcoming loss.

Ghost Clarke was a way to remain connected to the past. Now, Lexa has to let go of that too.

“I hope I was able to make a difference,” she finally replies, eyes still locked with Clarke’s. “It’s not even about my guilt anymore. It doesn’t matter if we meet, either. I have made my peace with what happened. I just… I wanted to give you a chance.”

A chance to live; not just survive.

“You did it, Lexa.”

Lexa has made her peace with her role in Clarke’s death as well as the tragedy itself. The wound will always marr her skin, but it will no longer hurt when she touches it.

All she cares about now is for Clarke to be alive and most of all happy, even if it’s not with Lexa.

Several hours later, Lexa’s hand is once again resting on the doorknob, this time waiting to go back to her world — or whatever of it is left.

Clarke is staring at her, bottom lip trapped between her teeth. At Lexa’s questioning look, once-pink lips pull up into a rueful smile.

“Everything will be different.”

Clarke will be alive, her life will follow threads unknown to her till now. Lexa knows things will change. She also knows she will never see Clarke again in whatever shape or form.

Each time she remembers that, the ground beneath her quakes. She holds tighter onto the doorknob, determined to stay on her feet.

When she meets Clarke’s eyes again, they’re shining with unshed tears. Lexa nods, solemn.

Words would taint the moment.

“It was never about me, you know? I just wanted,” Clarke moves as to reach out, but catches herself. She clears her throat. “It was never about what would happen to me. I just- I wanted to lift the weight of guilt off your shoulders, give you closure. I-,” she chuckles humorlessly, eyes flitting to the ground for a moment before meeting Lexa’s again. “I need you to know, I’m still me. There was never… I never would’ve been able to help you if I didn’t put some distance between us. That’s why I behaved differently. But I was always still me.”

And Lexa knows this, knows what she’s saying. She always has.

“Your happiness is all that matters to me, Lexa.” Lexa opens her mouth, but a shake of Clarke’s head stops her. “Please don’t. Otherwise I’ll say something to make you stay.”

Lexa aches to touch her, kiss her, though she knows she can do neither, and her hands shake with the urge to close the space between them.

Instead, she turns the handle and opens the door. Before she can go, though, she turns to face Clarke one more time, needing to commit every single detail to memory, as though every line of Clarke’s face, every nuance, every emotion, isn’t already burned into her mind’s eye forever.

So she knows the broken words before Clarke speaks them.

“I love you, Lex. And I’ll always be with you.”

It’s with those soft words cradling her heart that Lexa crosses the threshold.

–

One of the first things Clarke told her, when they started, was that Lexa would remember everything, both her own memories and her new version’s, but the original ones — the timeline where Clarke died — would fade with time.

Clarke also told her things would change.

So Lexa was expecting to step into a different world and to be surprised at how much had changed around her.

She just wasn’t expecting her life to be quite so different.

Clarke’s friends are no longer her friends. She expected that, but the reality of it is overwhelming at first. She realizes, now, she often took them and the support they gave her for granted. Suddenly, having none of them to lean on, she feels crippled.

On the other hand, she has a different, better job. And as it turns out, her new self has left behind the concrete stuffiness of New York and embraced the free-spirited intellectualism of San Francisco, which isn’t just a different city — it’s on the other side of the country. Any latent hopes she might have had of somehow finding Clarke have vanished.

It takes her a while to adapt to all the changes, but a year later she’s back on her feet and the life she had before is now but a distant memory. She still dreams about Clarke, though the dreams are fewer and further between. Selfishly, she thanks the universe for the small reprieve.

Her old problems don’t haunt her anymore and, if not for the absence of Clarke, this would be a perfect life.

At least she’s doing her best to make it so.

She’s also learning to treat herself better than she did in her past life. Embracing the practice of being kinder to herself is refreshing. Freeing.

It’s the pursuit of one such self-indulgence that she finds a small coffee shop downtown, which she starts going to every day before work.

Today is no exception.

As she waits in line, Lexa distracts herself, noting down her to-do list for the day ahead. As she’s debating whether to go to the grocery store before or after her late afternoon run, she doesn’t notice her pen sliding down the page and falling to an early demise, until she feels a tap on her shoulder.

“Excuse me, you dropped this.”

Lexa turns around to thank her good Samaritan, a gratitude sat ready on the tip of her tongue, only for her breath to catch at the sight.

Because she’s as stunning as ever…

Clarke.

#clexa #clexa fic #clexa au #my fics #mine

[thewritingof-therose]

Mmmmh I'm curious to know what would happen in a Coffe shop AU...

From THIS (Still open for asks for it btw!)

This one had been a lot of fun to brainstorm, so here is it x)

Modern AU setting:

Maiev works in the coffee shop as a student to pay for her college degree. She likes it very much and her other coworkers are really nice to her. Illidan is also a student but he doesn't work, instead, he goes there to get his morning coffee, and usually, he also goes there during the afternoon to deal with his coffee addiction. 

The first day that he goes there and that Maiev is the one serving him, Maiev immediately crushes on him and almost puts her number on his cup but as a coworker tells her that he's a regular, she knows she can wait. Illidan doesn't really get a crush on her but he wouldn't have minded the number. Then everything changes when he (accidentally) makes Naisha (Maiev's favorite coworker and best friend) trips and that she gets her arm broken. After that, the war is declared.

Maiev quickly decides to bury her crush six feet under and she becomes hostile towards Illidan, but it's still discreet enough so Illidan cannot fill a complaint to get her fired, and Maiev is extremely good at it. Little comments about him; messing up his order but slightly so it only looks like an honest mistake; messing up his relationship with the people he comes there. For example, Illidan came in with Kor'vas because they had to work on something for their classes, and Maiev was believing that she was his girlfriend (there was a little jealousy with it...) and succeeded to make comments that left Illidan really embarrassed and Kor'vas had no idea how to react and only wanting to hide. From there, Illidan realizes that Maiev seriously hates him.

Decided to counterattack, Illidan is now the one to be gently hostile towards Maiev, and he will show her that her little attacks on him don't work anymore. One day, he gets there with Malfurion as they finished at the same hour for once, and Maiev tries once again to make her little comments to shame him. Illidan retaliates by making his own comments (he had warned Malfurion about the feud he had with the woman) and Maiev is destabilized by it. Another day, she openly messes up his coffee by making him undrinkable (mostly putting salt instead of sugar) and when Illidan realizes it, he makes eye contact with her and chugs down the entire drink without breaking the contact and Maiev fears him. (He succeeded in waiting to be outside before throwing up, but at least, he won that day).

Weeks pass as those little fights keep going between them. Maiev's coworkers are betting on when it will stop (if it will); on how their relationship will evolve (because they noticed Maiev's jealousy and that clearly, Illidan plays along); and her manager just shake their head about her behavior but doesn't say anything (she's doing a really good job when it isn't Illidan that she serves and as long as Illidan doesn't complain, they can pretend nothing is happening). One evening, after Maiev's shift, she finds Illidan waiting for her outside of the shop and she wonders what he's doing there. In fact, Illidan just wants a discussion with Maiev without her coworkers constantly around. They bicker constantly as Maiev walks back to the flat she's renting for college and Illidan accompanies her. He spends the night there. The next day, everyone at work can see that Maiev is trying really hard to look angry but she's failing, and the money for the bets get into the hands of their rightful owner when they see Maiev serving Illidan without messing up with his drink.

And now, because I realized after planning that AU that nothing said that it needed to be in a modern setting, I present you the coffee shop AU within canon Azeroth !

While Azeroth is experiencing a relatively peaceful time, as every troublemaker is currently in the Shadowlands, Maiev decides that it's time to find a new vocation because she can't be a Warden forever (or at least she's trying to convince herself) and she starts to travel around the planet to find an idea. At some point, she realizes that coffee is really great and that everyone has a different way to do it and slowly, she finds the idea of making a coffee shop.

She installs it in Dalaran because she quickly came to the conclusion that coffee was really similar to Mana and a lot of mages are already addicted to it, and with the neutrality of the city, she knows she can get more customers than sticking to only one faction. After a few try and errors, she slowly gets a good reputation in the city, and then, from outside of the city and as she keeps experimenting (and her Wardens traveling around the world to see how they do it and bringing back the recipes to Maiev) and after a few years, she becomes worldly renowned. At least her coffee shop name.

One day, Illidan comes back to Azeroth and he’s a little lost as to what to do or who to meet again. The Titans came back to the Pantheon and finalized the imprisonment of Sargeras so Illidan could take a few days off and they sent him back to his home, and it’s awkwardly that Illidan walks through the streets of Dalaran, as it had been the last place he had really been when he was on Azeroth. Only a few people know that he’s back but no one really cares about it and Maiev isn’t even aware of it. One day, he stumbles in front of her coffee shop and he remembers that he heard only good about it (though not a word about the owner) and he just decides to try it. After his entrance, some employees whisper between them and one of them disappears as Illidan goes to sit at a table and wait for someone to take his order. At some point, he feels the strange sensation as if someone is trying to strangle him from afar but he doesn’t understand where it is coming from.

As they obviously told Maiev that Illidan was there (as most employees are former Wardens who followed Maiev), she is more than aware of his presence and despite that she hadn’t really worked as a waitress in her own shop for years, she decides that she will be the one to serve Illidan that day. After all those years, Maiev had healed a little from all the Wars she had lived through and the pain she had experienced from everything, and thus, Illidan doesn’t immediately recognize the woman once she brings him the menu, and that she forces herself to sound joyful so he wouldn’t recognize the murder intonation from her voice. As she takes the order from Illidan, who feels more and more uncomfortable with a little voice telling him to run away before he gets stabbed, she succeeds to start a seemingly innocent conversation with him as she brings the coffee. She tells him that she’s the owner and that she created that shop to fill the void that her lover left after the Third Invasion of the Legion and the more she describes the relationship they had, the more Illidan remembers them, and then, it hits him that the woman is Maiev. Realizing it, he tries to not look at her, nor react, because now, he understands why he was feeling so threatened. Then, Maiev just drops a bomb, telling him that it’s a shame that her lover never got to know his child, that Illidan finally reacts by jumping away from the table and shouting her name. Completely unfazed, Maiev turns her head towards Illidan, glaring at him, and without a single trace of emotion, tells him that it's a joke and that there’s no child.

Illidan feels really bad, and he feels like he has no place in her life anymore (as he was already expecting) and decides to go back to the Pantheon on that very night, not ready to face Maiev again. But as she leaves his table, she tells him to wait for the shop to close that evening. As he feels an ounce of hope from that, Illidan just walks mindlessly through Dalaran until he joins her again in the evening. Maiev let him inside and it’s only the two of them. She is still really angry about his decision, especially that he didn’t tell her about it until she found the crystal hidden in her tents, days after Illidan already left. There, she openly cries in front of him, something that only he got to witness back then, and she just tells him everything that had happened and how much she missed him. Out of reflex, Illidan goes to hug her despite that he knows that she could pretty much stab him if she was angry enough at him, but nothing happens and she hugs back. Slowly, they’re back to kissing as if there hadn’t been so long separating their last kiss and that one, and Maiev made him stay for the night. The next morning, Illidan is wearing the shop’s uniform and decides that the Pantheon can wait for him. The other employees (the former Wardens so) love to joke around that Illidan only got the job because he sleeps with the boss, and every time, the customers have no idea how to react, but they're slightly embarrassed through second-hand.

Thank you a lot for the proposition, it was really nice to get ideas for it!