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meazalykov · 14 hours

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cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater

barcelona femeni x uswnt!reader

warnings: mentions of betrayal, tiny bit of angst, insecurities

Y/N L/n, an American forward on the Barcelona team had fire in her eyes when she stepped foot on the catalan pitch.

Leaving behind her life in the States to pursue her dreams in Barcelona was a sacrifice that she didn’t regret. The goals, her skills, and passion increased for football as she got the privilege to play for one of the best women’s clubs in the world. Y/n flourished in Barcelona. But despite her success on the field, her personal life was rocky.

When she left Gotham FC to play for the Catalan club, y/n left behind her boyfriend, Leon. The couple were distraught at the news but y/n promised to visit Leon during international breaks and holidays. At first, she was able to facetime her lover everyday. Guilt plastered on her features during the call sometimes, remembering that the long-distance was because of her decisions, but y/n knew that her career came first.

Y/N's heart was shattered when she stumbled upon the tweets above which revealed a painful truth: her boyfriend, Leon, had betrayed her trust. The news hit her like a thunderbolt, leaving her reeling with disbelief and heartache. She couldn’t believe it. Not her sweet Leon? Sometimes she trusted the boy more than she could trust herself.

Without hesitation, she blocked Leon on everything before he had the chance to defend himself. Instagram, Imessage, twitter, facebook, you name it. Y/n was disgusted and couldn’t believe that Leon would betray her, no excuses would make her forgive him.

The 21 year old girl hated two things. She hated feeling betrayed, and she hated vulnerability. The first one happened to her and she didn’t want to have anybody pity her about what happened. Yes, her two year relationship was flushed down the toilet but she tried her best to forget about it.

Determined to keep her emotions hidden, Y/N threw herself into her training everyday with even more fire, pushing herself to the limit with every sprint and every launch with her foot that sent the ball behind the nets. However, some of her teammates noticed the change in her demeanor, the way she buried her pain beneath a facade of strength.

“Y/n what are you doing?” Alexia called out across the grassy pitch. It was 5 in the evening and training ended for the team an hour before. The captain of the team, Alexia, noticed y/n’s familiar gym bag still in the locker room after everyone went home. Observing the younger girl who was dribbling the yellow colored ball with her ivory-colored cleats, she closed the huge space between them and saw the sadness in y/n’s eyes.

“Oh hi Ale! I'm just training for the game next week. I have to be prepared, you know?” Y/n chuckled to herself. The smile on her face went away when she noticed that Alexia wasn’t laughing with her.

“You’ve been training for the last three hours. You need rest most importantly.” Alexia said as she looked at y/n’s soft facial features. Something was clearly wrong with the younger adult, but she wouldn’t pester her about the problem until she absolutely needed to.

“I know. Can I please have 10 more minutes then i will-”

“No! you need rest. come on” Alexia kicked the ball away from y/n’s feet before holding her arm gently, pulling her into the locker room so y/n would stop overworking herself.

A week later, at the peak of her game against Eibar, y/n had scored two goals by the time halftime arrived. She's on fire and the crowd was chanting her on for a potential hat-trick. But as the game progresses, so does y/n's exhaustion.

In the 50th minute, she pushes herself a bit too far as she passed the ball towards Mariona. Falling to the ground, her vision goes black for a few seconds before pain shoots up in her lower back. Y/n hisses at the pain as she holds onto her back. Everyone around her knows that she is injured.

"Y/n? What's wrong?" As soon as the girl heard Alexia's feet run up to her and ask that question, y/n relaxes her face and stands up ignoring the pain in her back.

"Nothing, it was just a blow." Y/n looks at Alexia and Patri who stands beside her. The Spanish girls look at each other with a uncertain look before Alexia looks over and yells at their coach Jona, "está lesionada, no puede seguir jugando"

Y/n didn't know much Spanish but she had an understanding on what's happening when she notices her teammate, Esmee, stand up from the bench and start to warm up.

"Ale, I'm okay I promise!" Y/n cries.

"Y/n, we know you're not. Its okay--- You did a great job before this." Patri tries to calm Y/n down.

"You cannot play with a bad back. You aren't playing until the medic clears you!" Alexia gives y/n a stern look.

Despite y/n's protests that she's fine, her coach and teammates, including captain Alexia, are adamant about getting her off the field. Everyone noticed how overworked she was. Some figured out why through social media, others still didn't have a clue.

Y/N is frustrated, not just because of her injury, but because it's a painful reminder of the emotional turmoil she's been going through since her ex-boyfriend's betrayal weeks before. She tried to forget about it but every time she scored a goal, she wished that he was there to congratulate her afterwards.

Each goal reminded her how good she is. After Leon cheated on her with a Washington Spirit winger, she wondered if she was as good as the winger is. Everyone in the soccer world knew that Y/n was miles ahead of the DC player, but insecurities plagued the girl's mind.

Alone in the nurse's room, Y/N lets her tears flow. It's not just the pain of the injury; it's the weight of everything else she's been carrying. The nurse came in and assumed that the crying came from the pain from the girl's back, but y/n had to clarify that it was emotional.

Luckily, another doctor said that her back pain was caused from stress and nothing serious. However, she couldn't play for a few weeks so she could wind down and heal with massage appointments.

Y/n was relieved but felt torn at the idea of not playing until the new year. How is she supposed to occupy her mind from Leon?

An hour later, Y/n heard the door open which revealed Alexia, Ingrid, Esmee, and Frido. All of them entered with hesitation, hoping that Y/n wouldn't kick them out. All of them could see through her facade. They know something deeper was bothering her.

"Hi (reader's nickname), how are you feeling?" Ingrid spoke with a soft voice, sitting beside y/n on the bed as she pulled a piece of hair behind her small ear.

"I'm fine, how was the game?" y/n asked. All of the girls, except for her, look over at Esmee with a smile.

"This girl over here subbed on for you and got a hat-trick. we won 5-0 because of you and her." Frido said. Y/n smiles brightly (for the first time in days) as she looked at her best friend with a shy smile.

"No way! Great job Es!" Y/n hugged the dutch.

"Thank you." Es responded.

"Y/n--- what did the doctor say when she came in?" Alexia spoke up, changing the conversation.

"The doctor said I'll be out for 2-3 weeks." Y/n said. Alexia's eyebrows knitted as she sat beside y/n, opposite side of where Ingrid sat.

"Why?" Alexia asked as she wrapped her arm around Y/n's shoulders.

"She suspects that I've been overworking myself, which is what caused my back blow. I have to go to physical therapy for massage treatments until I am better." Y/n spoke.

"Will you be able to go on international break?" Frido asked as she pulled one of the metal chairs in the room by the bed, she sat down looking at y/n with a sympathetic look. Y/n's eyebrows raised as she realized she had an upcoming friendly with the USWNT.

"I don't think so." Y/n responded.

"Look, we care about you a lot y/n. We've noticed how much you've been overworking yourself. This has never been an issue before, is there something wrong?" Ingrid asked. Everyone noticed the dry tears on her dimpled cheeks, but they didn't want to force the girl to talk.

"Um- I-" Y/n tried to speak before looking at Esmee, who sat at the foot of the bed. The dutch woman looked at Y/n with an urging look. She scrolls online outside of football and came across the source to what might've been hurting her best friend the last few weeks.

"(reader's nickname), is this about Leon?" Esmee spoke up. Y/n flinched at the sound of his name before biting her lip. The older women raised their eyebrows with questions in their minds.

"Yes." Y/n answered before a tear came down her right eye. Alexia wiped it with her thumb before holding the younger girl tightly.

"Niña, did something happen between you and him?" Alexia asks. The blonde never tries to intervene with the team's personal lives, but as a captain it is necessary when moments like this happen. Ale had an idea on who "Leon" was but she didn't know him personally.

"He um--" Y/n coughed. She realized she couldn't say it without breaking down, so she looks at Esmee with permission to speak for her.

"From my understanding, Leon cheated on y/n and started dating one of her old teammates in America." Esmee looked over at Y/n, hoping she explained the situation right. Y/n nodded her head, slowly, showing that Esmee explained the situation perfectly.

"When did this happen?" Frido asked.

"It happened two weeks ago." Y/n whispered. Alexia felt guilty at this news, she knew something was wrong but didn't understand how bad the situation is.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart.. Why didn't you tell us this happened?" Ingrid holds onto y/n's right side and Alexia held onto her left. Y/n started to cry again, realizing she could've avoided her injury if she spoke up about her problems.

"I didn't want to burden you guys with my problems." Y/n responded.

"You're not a burden. We might be your teammates but we are your sisters too. That Leon guy is an asshole and what he did is on him, not on you." Frido spoke as she held y/n's knee.

"Exactly. You're one of the best wingers and what he did to you wasn't because of your performance on the pitch. He is insecure and you deserve better." Ingrid said.

"You can come to us with any problems you have. Or you can come to me if it's personal. You're not alone." Alexia placed her chin on top of y/n's head, still holding onto her.

"I know--- but football was my escape from him. It's not that I didn't trust you guys, but I just didn't want to deal with what happened. As long as I played football and trained, my mind wasn't on him. That's why I've been overplaying." Y/n, in a vulnerable state, spoke up about her mindset on the situation.

"We love you y/n, you'll feel better about this and someday you won't even remember that jerk's name." Esmee spoke up. Y/n giggled at the shy girls statement.

As y/n embraced the comfort from her teammates, she begins to see that her healing now wasn't just physical—it's emotional too. And with her team by her side, she knows she'll come back stronger, both on and off the pitch.

#barcelona femeni #fc barcelona #woso fanfics #woso community #woso x reader #uswnt x reader #alexia putellas #ingrid engen #fridolina rolfö #frido rolfö

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dropthedemiurge · 3 days

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Boys Be Brave [EP.5] // Translation notes

I'm back with my - I guess?? - already weekly analysis of something Gaga subs might've missed in this show. Because apparently, the silly show got deeper and I'm staying here until the very end :D

First of all, I was curious and checked whether there is anything about Kiseob's illness, and there is! There are two diagnoses:

상세불명의 심실중격결손 상세불명의 심방중격결손 Unspecified Ventricular Septal Defect, Unspecified Atrial Septal Defect

I am not a doctor definitely, but quick googling told me it's a heart defect (also called as 'a hole in the heart') which can have symptoms of heart malfunctioning. Which would! Explain even more! Why Kiseob has wrist watch that always measures his pulse and why on several occasions he was wondering why his heart was beating so fast next to Jinwoo (well, one for obvious reasons and another one is this).

And it's something you have since birth so he's been dealing with medication his entire life. Which would also explain further - after the scene with his sister - why the urge to be a people pleaser is so serious and so ingrained in him.

Another interesting language detail I noticed in this scene. Kiseob says "That's why I just agree to anything" but it doesn't translate well to english, because the verb 좋아/좋아해 can mean "I like" (eating medicine) and "I like (the idea)/I agree". So first he started lying that yes, he likes taking medicine, and that transferred to him saying that yes, he likes this, he agrees with this (whatever that is, anything he is proposed with)

"I cannot like anyone, right?" "Why not? You're a bastard with a lot of money"

This phrase references all the previous phrases that other people used to describe Kiseob, but Balgeum doesn't sense the real problem of his friend because the phrasing is general, it can also mean 'I have no chance of loving someone', and that's why Balegum thinks it's just Kiseob having low self-esteem or something. And also to him having money = being able to love, letting himself confess and date the one he loves, so of course, that's his answer. Kiseob has a lot of money, why wouldn't he confess to Jinwoo if he likes him?

But Kiseob can't because he doesn't even know his own feelings, and everyone around tells him he doesn't have the ability to love someone.

"Giving me (toilet paper) as if I moved to a new house"

Now, I cannot be the only one thinking years ago why the hell Koreans give each other huge packages of toilet paper when they visit someone xD But this is also a cultural thing!

When your friends move to a new house, you are supposed to come with gifts and usually with very practical ones, like toilet paper (very common gift). Rich friends can give you coffee machines or humidifiers or something like that. In my country, when you visit friends (not moving houses but still), you usually bring some desserts or food to have with tea. So for some countries, toilet paper is a norm :D

Balgeum has been living in his small apartment for a long time but it's the first time Inho visits his house so he's giving it a gesture of respect (but still an awkward one).

[Interrupting my broadcast to scream about cuteness and awkwardness of Balgeum x Inho AAAAAHHHHH Now back to the schedule]

...No, we will definitely focus on scribbling over Jung Kiseob's name for 100th time, absolutely distracted from any historical knowledge going in the background ^^

Oh! By the way! I remember being surprised that, apparently, some people on social media were uncomfortable with Kiseob seemingly 'feminizing' himself to be likeable by Jinwoo. Let me tell you that no, Kiseob doesn't do that at all!

There is nothing truly that indicated that he wants to be a ideal girl for Jinwoo (who has non-gendered perfect type list as I mentioned in my previous translation notes post!). He doesn't even use typical school-girl aegyo on Jinwoo (aka acting cute), maybe a tiny bit but it's not typical and it's not usually in his language at all. He talks gently and softly a lot! But he doesn't add typical cuteness in the way he talks (like there's no pouting, mumbling words and ending sentences with -ung).

I talked about dress = one-piece = jumper suit being the same in Korean but Kiseob literally only follows what Jinwoo wrote about a person he likes (not girl). As I described it, "he's using loopholes in Jinwoo's specific list in a true himbo way" :D He doesn't really do anything girly and doesn't pretend to be a girl as I can sense.

And I don't think I need to clarify another time, but falling in love during first snow/first sight is one of Jinwoo's list. Which Kiseob already fulfilled but he doesn't know that, and he just saw Jinwoo being with Hyejin witnessing first snow, which was the last straw for him to admit his failure and give up pursuing Jinwoo.

By the way, Koreans really think the first snowfall is a romantic event, like there are saying you'll fall in love with/be happy dating with someone you'll be with during first snow^^ It comes up in many Kdramas.

#boys be brave #boys be brave comments #kbl #korean bl #dropthemeta #dropthemeta kbl #learning languages #korean language #translation notes #language details #lost in translation #jinwoo x kiseob #inho x balgeum

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sgiandubh · 2 days

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What choice is there for you to make? Caitriona is legally married to Tony. It's her choice not anyone else's. Sure you want to believe Sam and Caitriona secretly have something on, your belief is your choice. Her choice of partner is hers, and it's not Sam, really none of anyone else's concern or approval. Enjoy and celebrate your beliefs, but beliefs are not always rational nor true. No one on this subject knows the truth about Sam, the shippers, the gay onlys, the man whore-tellers, the SamSaviors. No one, which is the way he wants it. No one knows and no one will.

Dear Choice Anon,

Unlike many of your Mordor peers, I feel a half-baked effort towards questioning, in your submission that wants to be cheeky and smart. And is, instead, sophistic and predictable.

I was baking something, in the meanwhile. I always cook when I need to think carefully about something, from a distance. My hands are quite good at it and my brain is free.

And so, I thought. I thought about how you people always feel the urge to cross lanes and come here peddling your #silly wares. I thought about how you came here on a Sunday, Mother's Day on top, and how sad (empty?) life must feel for you. Instead of going out for coffee in town, smelling a rose, baking a cake, laughing around, cheering on your favorite team or hugging Mom, here you are. Battering a perfect unknown person's mailbox, for the sake of a woman who does not even know you exist and, most probably, does not even care. Same applies to S, by the way - but unlike her, he might probably care about you, provided you buy whatever he has to sell.

The Marriage Certificate argument is a fallacy and you know that very well. You grasp at a piece of paper, oblivious to the whole schizophrenic show the Happy Couple puts out there for everyone to see. I can understand that, Anon: you are a conformist, soothed by a black & white reality, even where and when it's plain to see things are anything but. You need reassurance and you hate anything that might reach out of your tiny box, even at the expense of your own critical sense. Congratulations, Anon: you are perfect fodder for all the demagogues out there and so, so easily fooled. I have more thoughts about it, but I am in a cheery enough mood and really unwilling to humiliate you further.

Unless you are S himself (hi? 🤣), his PR or his lawyer, you have no right to presume what he really wants or doesn't want, what he really intends to do and what his thoughts and feelings might be. On any given matter, from the trivial to the important. We can only guess and/or speculate, based on our own life experience, our own critical sense, our understanding of the world. And also based on many other things that are NEVER discussed publicly, which is the right way to do, if you really care about someone's private life. You see, unlike people on your side of the fence and no matter what the Original Troll always says, we never did anything of what you accuse us of. We never started flaming wars just to self inflate our importance (probably because we live rich, loving lives on our own). We never accosted their entourage and then blamed in on 'The Others', without ever substantiating those very serious accusations. And we never came to your lanes to send hate or sow doubt.

Do we make mistakes? Oh, aplenty. We are human, Anon. Come back when you are ready to ask yourself some real questions about all this charade. It is an honest, but almost rhetorical invitation. You won't, simply because you despise the very idea people could think differently and you never, ever wonder why. It would clash with your own fantasy. And this, this is something you will never be ready to face, Anon.

PS: despising the very idea people could think differently also clashes with the very idea of having a choice. The implications of your own shortcoming are much, much wider than this context. But that is not my problem, Anon. After all, you also have a choice to remain as you are, and who am I to hinder you?

#anon #fandom #shitshow

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wu-sisyphus-gang · 2 days

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jaunes got a lot of self loathing and issues, do you think that would affect him as a dad? dp you think it would bleed over till one day his kids think they are the problem?

I don't think he'd ever make it so his kids thought they were the problem. Jaune in my head is a metrosexual, kind, and empathetic man. But he's also brutal when it comes to himself. I think his kids would know they are the most precious things in the world to him.

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I was right about birth.

I really hadn’t wanted to be but I was right as I watched Weiss struggle and push and blood and other liquids came out.

I was right about birth.

It was a horrific thing. And Ruby stared for a moment before rushing over and taking Weiss by the hand while I loomed nearby with my arms folded.

I’d done this. It was a terrible bloody struggle to bring new life into this world. I’d inflicted this on Weiss casually in a way. I mean a lot of thought had gone into it but this was all happening because I came inside her one time. And that was pretty fucked up.

Blood poured out of her body but not so much that the doctors and nurses found it concerning. Her body dilated and stretched and I watched the contractions take her and it seemed like they were going to squeeze the life out of her. I don’t care what you’ve seen on TV. Birth is terrible and it all winds up in this ordeal with blood and screaming. Weiss screamed as she delivered my son into this world and a nurse received the baby with the cord still attached. They cleaned the baby off and handed him over to Weiss who looked exhausted and it was all she could do to take the infant in her arms and rock away. They both looked bone dead tired. Both her and the baby.

The baby had her hair; white as snow which I thought was precious and hopefully a good sign. He had my darker eyes though which I didn’t think boded well. Weiss cooed down at her little bundle and gently maneuvered him in her arms.

I moved my hand from my face which had been covering my mouth in horror and I walked over to her.

“Little Nebel,” she hummed up at me. Her voice sounded hoarse from the screaming.

“Hush now, my darling,” I murmured. “You look exhausted.” I informed her. “Ruby and I can look after the baby while you get some sleep. You did so well. You’ve earned some rest.” I kissed her gently on the forehead and she looked up at me with tired and beautiful baby blues. Her eyes just fucking were, man. They rocked me.

“Say his name,” Weiss demanded. “He isn’t ‘the baby.’ Say his name,” she repeated at a whisper.

“Nebel,” I did. “My son. Nebel Arc.” I did exactly as she commanded me to do. She looked content with that and handed the baby over to me. I took the tiny form in my arms and tucked him into the cradle they formed.

“Aw,” Ruby cooed. “You’re holding him! How does it feel?”

“I feel…” I trailed off. I felt mostly the same. Gravity still pulled me down to Remnant. But I had Nebel in my arms and I gently rocked him. I felt like something horrible was going to happen. Like I was going to drop the infant and his head was going to smack into the linoleum. I held him a touch tighter to my chest and it must have been visible that I did to Ruby and Weiss because Ruby cooed again which made me look up to see Weiss nodding slowly. She was bleary eyed and seemed to wax and wane with consciousness. Her eyes went half lidded and slowly shut and she curled up onto one side.

I clutched Nebel tighter in my arms. I felt wary but of what? It was quiet after the rounds and rounds of screaming. It was still.

“Do you want to hold him?” I asked Ruby.

“Oh, can I?” She was already holding out her arms and I passed Nebel along to her with a low chuckle under my breath.

“Oh… he has Weiss’s hair. And did you see his eyes?” She begged.

“I did,” I agreed.

“He’s got his daddy’s eyes. Oh, our first born son. I hope he’s just like you. In all the ways that really matter,” Ruby purred.

“Well, maybe hopefully there will be some differences. I’ve been thinking about it a lot actually. There’s quite a bit I don’t want him to take from me.”

“Honesty, kindness, empathy, loyalty, protectiveness, intelligence. What’s wrong with all that?” Ruby demanded.

“In order?” I asked.

She gave me a weary nod.

“It fucking hurts. It fucking hurts. It fucking hurts. I’m a fucking dog. I’m a fucking dog. And I’m an over thinker,” I answered.

“No swearing,” Weiss whimpered tiredly.

Right, right.

“I hear you. It’s not easy. But we don’t want easy lives for our babies,” Ruby informed me. “We want them to be able to handle hard lives. And being like you is a good way to do that. That’s one of the things which makes you attractive as a father. Because you’ve had a harder life than anyone and you’re still pushing and going further. That’s what we mean. That’s why we want our babies to be like you. You can pass that along to our children.” She rocked Nebel gently in her arms at a natural born, gods given, pace which looked comfortable and probably impossible for me to ever try to match. “You can pass all that pessimistic knowledge along and really save their little souls.”

I sighed heavily and stared at Nebel.

“For it is in passing that we achieve immortality. Through this, we become a paragon of virtue and glory to rise above all. Infinite in distance and unbound by death, I release your soul, and by my shoulder, protect thee.” I unleashed my son’s little blonde aura into the world. His soul was so pale with little soft blue lights. I tasted him and he tasted delicious. I took three steps back and away. He tasted like caramel over vanilla ice cream and the sharp tang of ozone.

“Was that wise?” Ruby wondered.

“Better he have it. Better he be able to make the choice himself. Better he have a little cushion of protection in this harsh, harsh world.” I wasn’t asking what she thought. If Ruby disagreed with me, then she was wrong. If Weiss disagreed with me, then she was wrong. My son; it was my responsibility.

Let this be my first act as father besides cradling Nebel in my arms. I was alright with that order. First I held him up and then I brought his soul into this world. Aura was the ability to choose and I wanted my son to have options.

“What did he do?” Weiss whined with her eyes closed and curled up on her side.

“He unlocked Nebel’s aura,” Ruby whispered back. “He seems pretty sure that it was the right thing to do.”

Weiss mumbled absently and groaned.

“It was the right thing to do,” I defended. “I wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t sure.” I took a seat in one of the chairs around the little hospital room with beige walls.

“It’s just… what if he doesn’t want it?” Ruby wondered. And it was at that moment I saw where she would be weak as a mother. She didn’t have a firm hand. She was always putting herself in their shoes and that was strong. But some decisions you needed to make as loving parents against your child’s will. It wasn’t about what Nebel would want. It was about giving him the most options and keeping him safe.

“Not a choice. Not this. If he doesn’t want to be a hunter, I think that’s fantastic. But he will have aura. It does nothing but keep him safe and give him options. It’s not his choice.”

“But it makes you an empath!” Ruby protested.

“I thought you liked that,” I shot back.

“Not all the time,” she whined.

“It hurts but I never promised my son an easy life. I, by the very nature of my own existence, can only promise pain and hardship. I don’t have anything else to give and I don’t know how to be a good father without that element. I have to be hard on him. Because you won’t,” I accused and I let enough venom into my words and aura that Ruby flinched and our son stirred in her arms.

“I don’t…” She stammered.

“Will you?” I demanded.

She looked away.

“I have to be the bad guy. Don’t I? I have to take the stern hand. Because you’re too meek and mild and I love that about you. I do. I really, really do. But because you’re so tender and sweet I have to make the hard decisions. When it comes to punishing our son, who are you both going to turn to? Me. You want me to be the bad guy,” I spat. “So I’m going to. And it will be for the best.”

“I don’t want you to be distant…” Ruby went on.

“But I’m not my children’s friend. I’m their father.”

“Can’t it be both?” She wondered.

“No,” I let the word drip from my lips and she flinched again. “Maybe your dad pulled that off. I can’t. I’m not that slick. I also don’t think he did pull that off even if he tried to. I think he failed and hurt you and was negligent in his responsibilities to you if he even tried to be your friend. But I don’t get that feel off of Taiyang. I don’t think he tried. I think he knew when he needed to be stern while also being emotionally available to you.”

The baby warbled out an almost word. He stretched his little hand up and touched Ruby's face. Ruby pushed his hand down and softly hummed down at the baby she still rocked.

"We're in your hands," Ruby decided. "If you say that's for the best and seem so sure I'll bow to your wisdom. I can't even remember what it was like before my aura was unlocked. You are so precious! You is!"

"Neither can I, really," I confessed.

Nebel reached out and grabbed Ruby's finger with his tiny right hand. Her little finger seemed massive compared with how small he was.

"He looks like you," Ruby informed me. She stared down into the infant’s face lovingly.

"Does he?" I glanced over at my son's face. I couldn't see myself in him at all.

"Around the cheeks and in his jaw. Same shape," Ruby went on. She glanced over at me. From my vantage point I couldn’t really see his face super well but it was etched into my mind like a clay tablet.

"I see Weiss," I admitted. "In his nose shape. And-"

Weiss gently stirred and shifted around our whispering conversation.

"And the hair," Ruby agreed. "Who's mama's little sweetheart? Will you say mama first or dadda?"

"Isn't talking a long way off?" I wondered.

"Not so long. Not really," Ruby disagreed this time.

I stood up and walked behind Ruby. She cradled our son at her bosom and I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close to me. She leaned back and rubbed her cheek into my chest and then when I bent low she nuzzled my face. Then she lifted Nebel up and rubbed her cheek against his little face and he whimpered in protest.

“No, you like it,” Ruby demanded, drawing out the word ‘no.’ “You like it. It’s okay. Let me nuzzle your itty-bitty face with mine. Let me love on you. It’s okay. You like it.”

“What if he doesn’t?” I asked from behind her.

“I’m sure he’ll let me know. And a bit louder than that. Let me have this. Let me mush our baby’s face into mine and love him.”

“You poor sweetheart. What are you going to do once he’s able to talk? If he’s anything like me he won’t appreciate his mama being up in his grill all the time.”

“Okay your relationship with your mother is… okay? It’s bad. I want to have a healthy relationship with our babies.”

“I didn’t mean that. I meant that I just wouldn’t appreciate being touched without my permission.”

“But he’s my baby! I need to touch his face. You try it. Nuzzle his face!”

“No,” I shot back. “He didn’t like it.”

“This isn’t about what he would like. I’m doing it for his own good. Like you unlocking his aura.”

“No you’re fuckin’ not.”

“Language! Babies are sponges.”

“Don’t… don’t change the subject.”

“Don’t swear,” Ruby shot back. “I wouldn’t need to if you didn’t swear. Just try it. He smells so good. He smells like our baby. It’s so precious. Who’s mama’s little champ? You’re going to be a mighty warrior. I can feel it.”

“What if that’s not what he wants to do?” I protested.

“It will be. He has you and me and Weiss as role models. He’s a fighter. Just look at him. Smell your son!”

“Kinda weird. Does he have that new baby smell?”

“Oh psh, don’t be like that. He smells good. He smells like our baby. Our baby! I can’t wait to deliver one of my own. I’m going to be so proud.”

“He is your own,” I pointed out.

“I meant to actually,” She waved a hand past her genitals. “You know? Not that Nebel isn’t my son. Of course he is my son. Of course he is. But I want to push one out too.”

“You want that? Women,” I breathed.

“What?”

“Did you not see how horrific that was?” I wondered.

“It was so beautiful!”

“It was so not! It was so not, Rubes. And you want to do that four times? Come on. Level with me. That looked fu- incredibly awful. It did. Didn’t it. It’s like this terrible struggle of bringing new life into the world.”

“But that new life…” Ruby whispered. “It’s so beautiful. That new life is.”

“You guys…” Weiss whimpered. We both shut up. Our son was ebbing his way off to sleep and Ruby passed him to me while she left for the bathroom. I was assuming.

“You heard all that? Can’t sleep?” I asked Weiss.

“I could if some people were quiet… but yeah. I heard the whole thing. You really think he looks like me?”

“So much so,” I choked.

“Are you crying?”

“No.”

“Are you lying?”

“Y-yes.”

“Aw…” she trailed and sat up. It was to see me with tears pouring from my eyes as I hunched over my son on one of the seats. “You are crying. Is it because he looks like me?”

“Yes…” I breathed. “He looks so much like you. I want… I want him to take after you in so many ways. I know you want him to be like me but I suffer, Weiss. I suffer. It would be so much better for him if he took after you. I don’t want this,” I waved a hand around my head helplessly. “I don’t want this for him. It scares me. It makes me sad. But looking at his little face and seeing how much he looks like you gives me hope.”

“I feel the exact same way about seeing him in you. I know you think you have it hard and maybe you really do. But nobody is better at handling it than you. That’s all I want. I want him to be able to handle life the way you do.”

“On the verge of tears over nothing?” I looked away.

“Over holding your son? Yes. That’s not nothing. Is it? Is that really nothing to you?” She asked.

“It means so much to me. It’s going to break me. Snap me in half. I bend but I never get there in terms of cracking all the way.”

“Hold him. Look at him. Let me sleep and we’ll talk more in the morning. Okay?” She was consoling me like I pushed a baby out of my body.

“Okay,” I croaked.

pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq

-WG

#rwby #jaune arc #weiss schnee #ruby rose #lancaster #whiteknight #whiterose #white rose #white knight #war of the roses #motion sickness

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chantiying · 11 hours

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Welcome to your fairytale where the only rule is let your imagination go wild

Hi, it's Chanty (I feel like this name resonates more with me rn) Today, I have a fairytale for you. How to choose? Close your eyes, imagine yourself surrounded by thousands of fairies, let these little creatures to lead you to their world, then choose either the image or fairy you feel more drawn to

If you are ready then let's jump into the fairies land

Remember tarot is not set on stone and you can change your path whenever you want. This is for entertainment purposesThis reading is general so if it doesn't resonate with you just let it go

PILE 1

Welcome to your story little stranger. You were born in a port, where you had to fight against everything you loved and get away from there. You are a brave adventurer with your heart always on your sleeve. You left your home where there were seas, oceans, seagulls & boats to reach a place in the mountains, where you will begin to discover yourself. You will see that the world is bigger than you thought, your perceptions about life will change. One day, walking through the countryside of that new town, a woman will change your perception of what life is, what love is, what freedom is. What you had always believed in will collapse, you will feel lost, you will cry, you will miss what you used to be, what you were, what you knew, but from that encounter your internal conflicts will be removed and understood, and your faith will have new foundations. You will feel glad to have spoken to her, to have asked her for maybe an address? Or a price? Or even the time. From that moment your motivation will be to see life as she sees it, your motivation will be to go out, smell the fresh air, the grass, the flowers, even the smell of the market. See the sky, the landscape, the clouds go by. You will miss the sea but the land will keep you anchored, which is what you needed, which is why you decided to start a new life

Your days will pass, your luck will change, you will be successful but then one day, when you look in the mirror, you will understand why you feel tired, because despite living well, you have never felt complete. The villain of your story will take action and look directly at you through the mirror. Why? It's me? Did I forget you? You will murmur while your memories of the sea, the fish, your family, of you, pass through your mind. The laughter as a child, how you dreamed of conquering the world, the promises you made to your parents, friends and siblings, all that comes back to you, your eyes crystallize and suddenly you feel tiny before the world again. Someone knocks on the door is your messenger, he informs you that there is a traitor in your castle, someone close to you has stolen the most precious things you had "running away" is the first thing that goes through your mind instead of fighting "RUNNING AWAY" is not the first time you will do it, will you stay to fight? No. "I want to go home" you say to the surprise of your server, I want to go home, you repeat once again, I want to see my family. You pack your things on a day of the waxing moon

Winter is about to come, the snow is about to fall but the only thing you think about is looking for a new rainbow on the horizon, the only thing that matters to you is starting over in a new place. Because as the years go by you still don't forget what that woman you met that spring told you. The seasons have passed, you are now in a big cage, fly little bird, look for your freedom, because your peace is in building a new home in every place you go. You will always have people celebrating your victories, your father, your friends, your colleagues. Everyone understands that you were born to sow, harvest and go to a new field to sow new seeds. What you are looking for is found by moving away from the problem, the magic that the fairies gave you is in letting go and waiting for your wishes to come true. That woman, that fairy that you found in the past, was just the beginning of your path, she was your teacher, she was your inspiration so that you could free yourself from everything that is gone, so that you would run with the wolves, so that you would be master of the sea, mountains and forests, so that you would finally understand that moving away is part of your freedom, that growing up sometimes makes you smaller, but even being small you can conquer whatever you set your mind to, that your greatest enemy is you, that the solution is not to stay tied, that you can build bridges and cross them with your friends but sometimes you must leave the bridge and take the road on your own, that it is you and your independence creating new relationships and that your hope is to collect all the colors of the rainbow, the pot of gold is not so important to you, but the lightning that bathes you when you arrive at what will be your new home, your freedom

Cancer, Aquarius, Gemini, Pisces, Leo rainbow, Beaches, Places with ports or mountains (whether you were born there or want to live in a place like that or it is where you find peace of mind) Sociable, Fish or Birds as pets. LGBT? People who struggle to let others/things go

PILE 2

Oh little creature, you are a warrior, strong, determined, with an implacable character (or at least that's what you want to appear to your family), "should I go?" You ask yourself from time to time. One night, while everyone is asleep, your magical adventure begins, you then take a book, press it between your hands while you watch the lamps from your window, "should I go?" You ask again and unconsciously use that book as an oracle. The answer comes to you. Then, you go to sleep, you let sleep take over you. The rays come through your window waking you up, it doesn't bother you, since you have decided what you will do: you will give up. But you will not give up on your dreams, nor will you give up on your ideals, you will give up on feeling the way you have been feeling, you will give up on the pain, the tiredness, you will give up on feeling alone and after that, you will realize the power that it has. nature for you. Before you had resolved your conflicts by crying at night, you had fought against them in your dreams, you had tried hard to feel the pain on your skin but this morning you had decided that it was no longer going to be like that. You gave a light smile to the people who were at home, you took your backpack and went for a walk down the street, the weather was perfect and the sun's rays caressed your skin, as if it were your father delicately touching your face, making sure you felt him next to you. Soon you felt a little sad, why did those women treat you so badly? Why did they seem to despise you? What was the evil that you did? Why did they claim that you were the one who ruined them? You hadn't done anything, at least not deliberately, but still, you couldn't please them. You are about to cry again, your aimless steps take you to a large tree, you are impressed by its magnitude, how tall it is, but you do not feel small, but rather protected. You sit leaning your back on its trunk, you take out the book or a notebook and the doors to the magical world open again for you

You have found the point where the fairies gather, they dance happily while you immerse yourself even further in your thoughts that are no longer bad but healing. You remember when you had a family that in your opinion was happy, you remember dad's arrival, the affection, a golden halo covers all those memories, the smile spreads on your face "I will have a home full of love" you promise yourself.

Time passes and you keep your promise, that day it wasn't your imagination but your power of divination. Now you are everything they told you you could never be, you are beautiful, you are kind, generous and an example for those who love you. Sometimes you have bad days, sometimes you have problems, but everything you experienced taught you how to draw your sword and fight your enemies. Your dark days and that hand that was extended to you that day you were reading under the tree, have been your allies. You are still of unbreakable character but now you do not pretend it but rather attach it to your emotions as a whole. You no longer cry yourself to sleep, you no longer mark your skin, now you appreciate every day and the opportunities it gives you, because those who had hurt you received what they deserved. You understood that it was not right to normalize what they did to you, or what you did to yourself, you turned pain into light, you wrote your wishes in your journal and you were grateful because they came true.

Trees, Nature, Parks, Libra, Aries, Pisces. Forests, Green, Blue, White and Purple, Journal, "Find the answer in a book" "Write down your fears" Lamps, Activist, Environmentalist, Healing through plants, Shadow work, mommy issues, "I love you"

PILE 3

This is the story of a wise man who with his words gave peace to those who consulted him about their indecision. It was magic, it was freedom, it was calm, it was hope, it was a miracle. It was written in his life story that he would be a courageous human being, who would face any problem by giving it a real solution. He was a transformer of lives but he was afraid to transform his own, but that day came... His worst fear: change, arrived in the form of a warm, pleasant and charming young person. He could not do anything but fall for them, he fell in love. His powers and wisdom disappeared. Confusion reigned in his head, he felt bad, he felt miserable, he felt like things had slipped out of his hands. Why had he fallen in love? Why had he given his heart? That was not his mission, his mission was to be a counselor, to share his wisdom and words with others, his mission was not to live but to serve... Then a day, one of the two left and no, it wasn't the other person but the wise one. He took the pieces of his heart, almost all of them, and decided to go to a new place to find peace and he achieved it.

The days, months and perhaps years passed, his recognition, powers and wisdom returned, he felt happy, he was an advisor to privileged people, he had a name with golden letters. There was a celebration, everyone was dancing, laughing, drinking and our wise man had a smile on his face but his soul felt desolate. He felt like a part of him was dying, tears rolled down his cheeks, he apologized and went out to the garden to get some fresh air, that pain became bigger, he couldn't contain it anymore and he let out the tears that he had held back for years, is it worth? the pain? He asked himself. He had left the one he loved alone so as not to transform who he was, but now he realized that transforming was part of life, of his life: passion, emotion, love, tears, all of that was part of his being and he couldn't bottle all those feelings for his entire life, he had to let them flow, and then, not only would he be a wise man of words, he would surrender to the transformation and now he would be a teacher, a magician, a whole. But he had to face his secrets, his fears, his shadow. He had to learn from his past, he had to embrace his self that had been hidden, he had to learn not to fear change and flow with it.

The process was chaotic, sometimes he wanted to go back to being who he was, sometimes he woke up wanting to explore his other versions, sometimes there was light, sometimes darkness, sometimes he just wanted to be in bed, forget who he was, but sometimes he wanted to use his magic, play an instrument, dance barefoot and watch the water drops fall creating colors as they crash on the ground. He always had the world in his favor, but, because of his fears, he never realized it, he thought that they only used him or needed him, he thought that they only approached him because of his wisdom. He never imagined that they were going because of the peace he transmitted, because of his gaze, because of the admiration and respect they felt, because of the inspiration he exerted. Sometimes he forgot that magic existed, that he was magic, that he was light and he was protection. He has not yet become the magician he should be, he has not yet mastered it, he still has doubts and setbacks, he is still sometimes afraid to feel, to love. He still sometimes thinks that he was born to serve and not to live. But life will show him (show you) again that nothing stays the same forever and that the only thing that is certain is change.

Scorpio, Taurus, Capricorn, Virgo, Sagittarius. Fear of change, Red, A Party, Lost love, The Past, maybe some of you are LGBT, Tea or Coffee, Avoidant Attachment, The friend who gives good advice, Teachers or your career has to do with education or sharing your advice, listening, Speak Now by Taylor Swift pop out to my mind

Ok, this is it, thank you for reading me and I hope it resonates with you (I was about to cry bcus I wrote this like three times and for a variety of reasons I needed to pause it and I don't know why but the post wasn't saved for those three times 🫠 I don't know if it was a sign of the universe and I just kept being stubborn 🙂)

Anyway, see you all next time

Alic (Chanty) 🪽

#tarot and astrology #tarot #tarot reading #tarot asks #tarot cards #tarot tumblr #pick a picture #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #pick a card #divination

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skwpr · 3 days

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10 things that start a change for the better 📑🌻

Be honest with yourself Do not lie to yourself—about what is right and what needs to change. Be honest with yourself about your achievements and who you want to become. Eliminate self-deception from all aspects of your life because you are the only person you can always count on.

Don't be afraid of problems Your problems do not define you. Your personality is determined by how you react to them and how you are used to solving them. Tiny steps in the right direction are much better than no movement at all.

Spend time with the right people The right people are those with whom you enjoy communicating. They are people who value and support you on the right path. They make you feel alive and not only accept you as you are now, but are also willing to unconditionally accept who you want to become.

Make your happiness a priority Your needs are very important. If you do not value yourself, take care of yourself, and do not consider your needs important, you only make your life more difficult.

Be yourself, sincerely and proudly If you try to be someone else, you lose yourself. Stop it, do not be ashamed to be yourself. Embrace your individuality filled with ideas, strength, and beauty. Be who you feel, be the best version of yourself.

Learn to notice the present moment and live in it A miracle is happening right now. Now is the only moment of life in which you can be sure. Now is life.

Start appreciating the lessons that can be learned from mistakes Mistakes are normal; they are steps towards progress. If you do not make mistakes, it means that you are not trying hard enough to achieve something or learn. Take risks, make mistakes, lose, fall, and then rise and try again. Appreciate that you push yourself forward, learn, grow, and correct your mistakes.

Be polite to yourself If you had a friend who talked to you as harshly as you sometimes allow yourself to think, how long would you tolerate him? If you scold yourself mentally or even out loud, then allow other people to treat you the same way.

Enjoy what you have Many people think they will be happy if they reach a certain level in life—the level at which other people live, for example, a boss in a cool office or an acquaintance who built a mansion on the beach.

Learn to find happiness on your own If you expect someone else to make you happy, then lose out on a lot. Smile just because you can. Choose happiness for yourself. Be happy with who you are right now, and let your path into tomorrow be filled with positivity.

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thebeautifulfantastic · 2 years

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i hate this “coming back home” business. i hate this “you’re a teenager AND an adult” unrealistic expectations, double-standard shit. i hate that no matter what, in conversations where i try to approach an issue as calmly and diplomatically as possible, i still get called out for being too emotional. i hate that i’m expected to know how to clean a house (or at the very least my room) and keep it that way, but i can’t make decisions about my own screen time. i hate that i can’t express how i feel freely, even if it’s messy, because other people get “overwhelmed,” or because i’m something that doesn’t matter — but maybe for me it DOES? i hate that simply because my problem might be more inconsequential, it means whatever i’m feeling about it is also unimportant. i hate that when all i want is to be validated, all i get is a constant feeling of failure. i hate that when it’s convenient for you, i’m an adult, but when it’s important to me, i’m still a child.

#belle writes #i got home from my month-long trip yesterday. and it’s fucking HARD to be home #even more difficult than i expected #my mom (i know she loves me and did it with the best intentions) decided to rearrange my room on a whim because i’d left it kind of messy #she never told me she was going to do this — until yesterday when i got home and she showed me #and look. i know it must have been a lot of effort & i’m touched that she went through it for me #but i wish it hadn’t been a complete surprise! because it’s so much to get used to #it’s like the space isn’t mine because i wasn’t there to help change it around #it’s giving me ANXIETY because it’s different and a Big Change #i tried to tell her this but she won’t even accept that my response is valid #saying that i should be grateful #that this is just a tiny thing; that problems in Life are not This #as if this isn’t my life already?!?!#as if i need to have it all together because of how i made you feel with my honest response but it doesn’t matter how YOU made me feel?#i already feel like i have so little control over my life and this only Added to the feeling #i wish she would understand #anyway take my venting with a grain of salt #this is not my biggest problem with life obviously but it’s just another reason why my mom and i are always at odds #i’m very emotional. if i have to i’ll rearrange my room myself #stories of my life #growing pains #belle speaks #i Know she thought she was helping but IT ISN’T HELPING

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moeblob · 4 months

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New OCs

(briefly, humans and supernatural beings have to team up for building better relations with each other and all the supernaturals can shapeshift and take on human appearances but also have their 'original form'.)

OK so I was GOING to draw fanart today - I had a fun idea and everything! But health anxiety (and anti-anxiety meds) wore me out so I kinda .... slogged through OCs as a treat to me. I am going to go to the doctor tomorrow so HOPEFULLY it's all okay.

#my characters #also kite is the worst socially and says things he thinks are surely fitting for a human conversation #but ends up insulting grady with 99% of the comments and that makes grady not fond of him #but then grady is like super pleasant to others and doesnt know how to act around kite and flubs a lot too #its a disaster and the twins are like oh no this is painful #mr tengu that was so tacky you cant say that to a human #mr tengu you cant DO that to a human STOP BEING LIKE THIS #while callum is just like wow this is hilarious thanks for bothering my younger brother its adding character to his life #and kite is stressed because thats the least encouraging thing to hear ever thank you v much hes TRYING to adapt #but also kite isnt his real name and he doesnt know squat about humans BUT he knows they have the internet #and so hes like well the problem is i dont want to actually say my name to you all because what if i am Online (TM)#and so he asks for a new name and then is like he should name me - the tiny one who wants to kick my ass should name me #so grady is like ....... nooooo...... dont............ and then suggests kite bc he's done google research #and kite is a type of bird and according to wikipedia has some familiarity to tengu so therefore yeah #and kite is like !!!!!! DOES HE ! KNOW THINGS ! and happily accepts the slightly researched name while the other humans #are like grady stop that is bullying the poor guy leave him alone pick a normal name!#anyway not drawn yet but there is a human guy partner for the twins and he immediately is like perfect #i know which is which lets go out and explore the human world for your research #and they dont understand how he knows them apart so fast and none of the other humans seem to tell em apart #but then none of the humans are shocked at the guy who knows so the girls are like sir howst do you know #and hes just v casual oh right yeah younger identical twin sisters - i have Practice ! and they are endeared to him haha #anyway if you read all those tags ty #and yes in his tengu form he does actually have the long nose please do not be mad #i just dont draw noses normally and im too tired to practice rn so #i only drew the second one today anyway - the first pic was done a couple days ago but i didnt wanna post on main #but then here i am posting on main #im sorry

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n3ongold3n · 5 months

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Ever since i saw the thongTM i could not stop thinking about this 🐳

#käärijä #häärijä #khäärijä calendar #diary bit coming up in the tags bear with me since this is #also my diary kind of; this blog #this thing has fought me every step of the way - and it shows i know #but i needed at least /some/ tiny little crumb of standing up for myself against my own defeatist thoughts #not just drawing. just. in general there are so many tiny and medium obstacles to accomplishing tasks that i just feel #like such an idiot for not just getting rid of the obstacles and moving on #at the same time i know how very unfair this kind of thinking is towards me since i #literally have the neurodivergence of cannot set priorities for my life or coordinate several things unless under strong duress #and then i feel sad for not even living my life unapologetically #((and disappointing jere :') - you have not read this that would be way WAY too embarrassing for me)#and yes i know you shouldn't trust yourself after - what was it? - 19:00? Well. If I didn't have to struggle until 3 pm to get through #the wall of anxious paralysis we wouldn't have that problem but here we are #anyway. off to bed. for what it's worth #got to figure out how to electronically validate my ID :''') and/or call the job center - fun!#my own stuff

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talentforlying · 2 months

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thinking about john's multitude of short-lived, often quickly-abandoned apartments for some reason, so a couple details:

although you might expect to find a very wizard-y interior to any place he's currently living at — you know, grimoires, skulls, dust, clutter, etc. — his flats actually tend to be fairly spartan in terms of decor; they've even been accused of looking modern, here and there. he just moves too frequently to really settle in & accrue Things, and has so often had to simply up & leave everything he currently owned behind (with very little chance of getting any of it back) that he no longer attaches much meaning to household objects.

besides the consistent presence of at least one bookshelf with at least 12 books on it, and a sad sprig of garden sage that miraculously hasn't died yet, the one exception to his lack of personal touch is his extensive collection of records + tapes, all of which he has repeatedly & methodically tracked down and bought / bid / traded / stolen / threatened for / blackmailed for / simply taken back whenever an enterprising landlord or new tenant left him the opportunity to do so. his record player itself has never needed to be taken back, since it has always mysteriously vanished from whatever flat he's leaving and mysteriously appeared wherever he's staying; it's convenient like that. his 10th anniversary walkman, however, frequently goes missing, only to turn up again later in a place he KNOWS he checked when he's least expecting it.

lack of home decor isn't to say he doesn't own much, mind: the bulk of his personal possessions — assorted occult paraphernalia, blackmail documentation, miscellaneous crap from his mucous membrane days, and anything he is able to take with him from past flats — are usually stored off-site, in a secure location that can't easily be tied back to him. this guy's been accused of being a satanic killer on multiple occasions, he knows better than to keep all the real shit out where anyone can just swan in and see it.

currently, this storage location (which i lovingly call occult shit central) is an abandoned inner london storefront + adjoining flat that was formerly his old friend ray monde's shop and home, called brick-a-brac antiques. it's decidedly cozier than the last place, (in that there are chairs, plural,) and has fewer bear traps laid out in anticipation of unlucky thieves; in fact, if a person were to visit without already knowing where constantine actually lives, it'd be easy to mistake it as his expectedly-wizardy flat. it's not an ideal location for an occult shit central, too close to the heart of the city and too close to people to avoid drumming up suspicion should constantine attempt any sort of ritual inside, but until chas finally quits ducking the paperwork and signs over his storage lot (which he may or may not be dragging his feet on out of pure resentment for having to do it at all) ray's place is the best option there is.

constantine's previous (and future) storage location was a lock-up in streatham that chas had been letting him use (see: all but surrendered to him entirely) since he got out of ravenscar, but after constantine's sister died, john decided he was done with magic and, in a spontaneous fit of rage, burnt the place down with everything but a few necessities still inside. he regretted this later, when he inevitably returned to the occult scene after just over a year away, and spent a lot of time calling in favors / hypnotizing arson inspectors to try and put together an inventory of everything he'd lost.

in the nearly 20 years since the fire, he's managed to replace or find substitutes for about 2/3 of what he had (occult-wise), and gather enough fresh dirt / do enough favors / orchestrate enough compromising situations to accumulate a little over 1/4 of the political / interpersonal power he once maintained. ( the lack of success in the latter being, in part, because people now in power aren't as familiar with his name & reputation as they once were; in part because people just don't believe in magic as much as they used to, or were otherwise bought by hell / heaven / other parties a LONG time ago; and in part because he's come to absolutely fucking despise most politicians / people in power more than he is willing to work with them, or more than he is able to plausibly believe they won't try to drop him at the first opportunity. )

you would be hard-pressed to find a landlady/landlord that speaks kindly of this man. if he wasn't kicked out for suspicious smells / disturbing noises / sudden infestations / suspected satanic activity, then it's likely that he abruptly up and disappeared in the middle of the night, with no warning and no rent. (on a few occasions, this vanishing act also coincided conspicuously with a gruesome death on the premises, sometimes of the landlady/landlord themselves, although no one's ever been able to prove anything.) frankly it's . . . magic, that people still rent to him.

due to these aforementioned bad ends, he's incredibly lucky if he gets enough time or leeway to take any sort of furniture with him from one place to the next. however, there is one incredibly comfy, wing-backed, sapphire-blue armchair that's miraculously managed to survive every move in the last ten or so years without being reported stolen — even though it has survived every move because it has, in fact, been stolen in the dead of night nearly every single time, by john and at least one of his buddies.

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#the extent to which i think about constantine's personal storage unit should frankly be concerning to medical professionals. but i digress #it's the rust cohle instinct to make yourself a secret lair i fear. i too would like a private little cubbyhole that no one knows about #where i go to plot my little plots and draw my little pepe silvia webs and occasionally live and sleep out of #anyway this man trades apartments like fleas trade barn cats. bc people and creatures just keep fuckin SHOWING UP and RUINING THINGS #he just wants a HOME GODDAMMIT!! STOP SLOPPING DEMON MUCOUS ALL OVER THE CARPET AND ENTICING HIM TO SOLVE PROBLEMS!!!!#i do think i will return custody of the streatham lockup to john when he turns 72. but i like the challenge of a tiny lil change #it's my way of acknowledging that he is getting older and the world is changing around him. and chas is still pissed about the fire #and i think john would Hate to see ray's store just lying empty after all these years. that was a sanctuary for both of them for a long tim #( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE.

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jestroer · 2 years

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So i’ve started readin an amazing piece of team rancher fan fiction called The Highwayman by @envelopedbyoblivion and ummm...

This is the size comparasion of Tango and Bullseye i got in my mind after reading the first chapter... Which is basically the canon right

#IM SORRY #I have a problem with imagining things from writing which is a funny feature to have as an artist who does fanart for fanfiction #but i was just imagining this giant ass horse and tiny tango #tango is always kinda asamb (assigned small at my blog) when i draw him but like #yeah #yeah so #ah #thats thing #i cannot draw horses for the life of me also #but i just really wanted to draw this cause its hilarious #tangotek #court jester's art #court jester's fanfiction appreciation moment #in my mind it was more omnious but you know #thats just a man and his horse #i know horses are not that large #and horses who are large are not really fast or what you would need as a bandid in the desert #but have this large fricking horse and a tiny tango unit

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sharkneto · 4 months

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did you ever watch fargo? it has similar story beats to true detective, at least, season one (it’s another anthology type series, crime focused) there’s a dude in there who i think you’d get a kick out out of… very much quietly intensely batshit insane and Off™️ but somehow presents himself as the sanest one in the room. he’s rust cohle, in a way, but murderer, not detective

Thanks for the rec! Watched S1 over the past week or so. Was good but it frustrated me. Billy Bob Thornton Serial Killer was the highlight, you were right! He was very fun. What a weirdo.

I don't know if it was that I grew up in an area with accents like theirs so I was like, hyper aware They Are Doing An Accent, or that it was based on Coen Brother's work, but a lot of the characters felt... rather like caricatures? I don't know, something about it had a wall between me and it, where I wasn't immersed so they felt like We Are Actors On A Set Delivering Lines Really Well rather than I was in the moment, if that makes any sense. Maybe it was the monologues, Flannigan series can have the same affect to me.

Still, was a really good cast. I needed Martin Freeman to get his comeuppence like three episodes sooner, my god that man could just wiggle out of everything (SPOILER he sent his wife to get shot???? what the fuck is wrong with him. I was screaming SPOILER OVER). I always like it when Colin Hanks pops up in things. Allison Tolman and Billy Bob Thornton fucking carried the whole thing, they were the only two I didn't really get the I Am Delivering Lines With Emotion And This Thick Minnesotan Accent feeling.

Writing was generally tight, too. Good full circle moments and Chekov's guns, pieces came together in satisfying ways. Was fun to be rooting for Molly to catch her killers and for Billy Bob to fucking get Martin Freeman. I think it could have been one episode shorter, or skipped the time jump, to give the police a modicum more competence, they were killing me.

Idk if I'll watch the other seasons, I did enjoy it overall. Might check out the newest one because I'm a slut for Jon Hamm.

#i'm hit or miss on coen brothers so this feels fitting that i was both hit and miss on this #i wonder if i wasn't so familiar with the accent if i would have felt differently about the acting #because i think the accent pushed some slight overacting #and i just happen to be familiar with the subtleties and midwest niceness that lurks underneath those big nasally sounds #to feel like things weren't lining up quite right #that said i super enjoyed the accents lol #my wisconsin accent has calmed down over the years since i've been away but it's not *gone*#so i always enjoy a little dip back in - little wave back at my roots #anyway anon - thanks again for the rec!#sharkneto speaks #ask response #oh my god i almost forgot!!#the surprise kate walsh!#she came on and i was like ''i know you who are you''#and then she gave a condescending laugh and it tripped my recognition for her ''you're kate walsh!!! :D'' she's always fun #i'm back to ramble more down here #i think my favorite Midwest Content is an episode of This American Life #where the entire episode is dedicated to the story of these two girls in tiny town wisconsin who got switched at birth #and on of the mothers knew and never said anything because she didn't want to Cause Problems or embarrass the doctor who made the mistake #i sent it to all my non-wisconsin friends like ''this right here is exactly what small town wisco is like this is what i grew up in'' lol

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