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#that there are some things that used to be easier that are now very hard
henry7931 · 3 days
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Bet
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Will:
The two straight guys you see above are Caleb and Tristan, we are sort of friends. Although we barely have anything in common nor do we really socialize in public.
But one thing we do share in common is our group gaming night on Sundays. We play video games every Sunday for hours. And we even have teams, ‘the straights vs. the gays’. My best friend Jake and I are the gay team while the other two ‘best bros’ are the opposing straights.
We get really competitive and we will even make bets at the beginning of the night. But last night was the craziest bet so far.
The night was pretty much the same as usual, a lot of trash talking but at one point Caleb made a comment that Jake and I both thought was outlandish.
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“Yo y’all gay guys have it easy,” he said to us.
I piped up and said, “how so?”
Caleb went on this tangent about how straight guys have it so tough these days and how much easier it is to be gay.
Jake and I laughed at him.
“Dude you couldn’t be gay for one day,” said Jake.
“What’s so hard for you Jake? I could easily be you for a day but you couldn’t handle being me,” says Tristan.
“Oh is that right?” says Jake.
“Yeah you wanna bet on it?” I added.
“Sure,” says Tristan.
I thought for a moment, are these guys down to do what I think?
“All four of us swap bodies. No BS, we all have to do the other ones routines, no one outside of us four can know and we have to be convincing in public that we are all each other. First one to ask to swap back loses.”
“Caleb you down bro?” asks Tristan.
“Yeah bro, this will be easy,” Caleb says with a grin.
“How much are we betting on?”
“Hmmmm…. How about $1,000 a piece.”
Jake’s eyes get wide as he hears me say the amount.
Both Tristan and Caleb grin and say, “deal.”
After hopping off, I immediately started writing down my daily stuff and everything Caleb would have to do. I made sure it was as ‘gay’ as possible. I even gave him going to a gay bar Friday which I’m sure will blow his mind lol.
So as I laid down last night, it started to hit me. I’m actually going to swap bodies with Caleb— and low key Caleb’s hot.
My mind raced thinking about what it will be like having his body. And I started to get hard from the thought.
I looked down at my slim frame and imagined what it’s going to be like with all of those muscles.
I thought about jerking off but Hell I’ll let that be Caleb’s problem in the morning.
The Next Morning:
I woke up notably in a different room, a very straight man’s room. Caleb has dirty laundry backed up into a pile in the corner, his hats stacked up on the wall, and a bunch of obscure pictures which I’m sure his ex decorated for him.
I lifted up the comforter and even Caleb knowing I was going to be in his body this morning he still slept commando.
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I looked down at the bulge inside of his boxers and then down at his hairy legs and feet. His sheets have this musk that immediately filled my noise. I’m sure he doesn’t wash them enough.
Caleb’s bulge started to get hard and my first reaction was to touch it.
But instead I grabbed Caleb’s phone and called Tristan’s number. It rings for a few until I hear Tristan’s groggy voice come across.
“Will is that you?” says Tristan’s voice with Jake in control of it.
“Yeah it’s me,” I say back.
“Holy sh*t! I can’t believe that agreed to do this,” says Jake.
“I know! Have you uhhh… explored any?” I asked him.
“Fuck yeah! Tristan has some sexy feet!”
“I bet! So does Caleb,” I say wiggling his toes.
One thing about Jake and I is that we are pretty open with each other. We originally met on a gay hook up app and have only hooked up once. That night we were both so hammered that we ended up sharing all of our kinks together. Turns out both of us are into all of the same things. Feet, jocks, pits, etc. We even send dirty vids we’ve jerked off to back and forth. It’s a strange friendship but at least I know I can trust him.
“Will, you have to send me some pics! I’m hard as a rock right now!”
“Hold up, I got you bro,” I say to him.
“The way you say bro with his voice is so hot,” says Jake.
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I laugh at him and pull out one of Caleb’s feet for the pic.
“Heading your way!”
“Oh my god his soles! I wanna suck on his toes so bad,” he says.
“I’d let you bro, you can suck on my toes anytime,” I say to him.
“Oh my god, keep talking like that!”
“Only if you send a pic back,” I say to him.
“One sec man I’m about to nut,” he says breathing heavy.
“Jake you’re jerking it right now?”
“Yeah man, I started before we got on the phone. Oh fuuuuuuckkk, this cock feels so… Will! Will! I’m cumming!! I’m cumming a lot!”
I’m so hard, I can’t help but join in. I pull off Caleb’s boxers and his 10” rock hard cock comes out.
“Wow it’s beautiful,” I say out loud over the phone.
“What is?” says Jake out of breath.
“Caleb’s dick, it’s like perfect.”
“Oh Tristan’s has a curve to it but it’s huge! I literally have a foot long between my legs. He needs to trim his pubes though, I’ll probably fix that here shortly,” says Jake.
I can’t speak, my focus is on the nicest dick I’ve ever seen. I run Caleb’s fingers along his sack all the way up his cock head. I feel chills…
I aggressively grab and start pumping it. I start moaning loudly.
I can hear Jake in the background saying, “dude, switch to FaceTime!!”
I’m too into the moment to put on a show. I lift up Caleb’s foot and sniff it while vigorously jerking off.
I run his tongue up and down his sole and scream out, “I’m Caleb Thomas now bitch!”
I’m so close, i wanted to go on forever. But that’s when Caleb dick literally sprays cum everywhere uncontrollably.
“Shit!”
“What?” says Jake.
“I got his cum in my eye,” I say back.
“Hahaha I’ll be over shortly!,” says Jake.
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blueskittlesart · 3 days
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Tell me about the road design of Hyrule!
YESSS ok so my tangent last night was mostly about the changes between the botw and totk maps but the map design of botw/totk hyrule in general is a really great example of environmental storytelling imo!!
in botw, most of the roads we see are kind of implied to be pre-calamity remnants. we very rarely see travelers, especially not along roads that aren't stable or village connectors, and a lot of the roads in hyrule field especially are near-deserted and clearly haven't been kept up. many of them lead through the ruins of what would have been villages or cultural hubs pre-calamity but are now either completely deserted or overrun with monsters. if you do come across travelers along the path, there's about a 50/50 chance they'll either be fighting monsters (and losing, badly) or disguised yiga clan members trying to ambush you. (and I think there's an implication in the yiga posting disguised members along the sides of old roads that since so few people use the roads nowadays, it's reasonable for them to use that kind of disguise as a way to catch specifically link--it's probably 10 to 1 that if you meet a traveler along a road, it's gonna be him.) the roads are like the ruins we see scattered around hyrule--reminders of what the kingdom USED to be, back when travel was a safe and sustainable option for its citizens, but now littered with monsters and slowly falling into disrepair.
in totk, though, the map and the roads along it are much more populated. they get WAY more use--you'll almost never follow a road for more than a few minutes without passing an npc now. there are a few new roads that allow for more convenient travel between previously difficult-to-access places. roads that were previously in disrepair and obviously too dangerous for the average person to travel are better-maintained and more populated. new stables are popping up. The observation that prompted this whole thing last night was specifically the walkability of the roads--in botw they tend to be wide and seemingly optimized for horse travel, which, given the amount of monster activity along them, makes sense since horses are the easiest way to travel safely on that map. in totk, though, several of the roads seem narrower and more winding, with sharp turns and obstacles that are hard to navigate on a horse at top speed. This is partially due to the upheaval adding more small obstacles to the map, but I also think it speaks to how post-calamity it's likely become a lot safer to travel on foot, so having wide, straight roads is no longer as much of a practicality issue.
the way the roads are built i think also gives us some insight into how travel worked pre-calamity and just generally what culture was like in different regions of pre-calamity hyrule. the field is heavily populated by roads and old structures, implying a culture of travel between the hylian villages and outposts that would have once been there. races that we know to have been historically more isolated, however, like the zora and the gerudo, only have one road leading in and out of their settlements, and in the gerudo's case the road isn't even clearly marked, making it extra difficult to traverse if you don't know what you're doing. by the time we get to totk, the gorons have gained a couple more roads in and out of their main city, allowing for easier access, which i think implies that their isolation during the calamity was involuntary and they were eager to open up to other races as soon as it was safe to do so!
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detectivebambam · 3 days
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welcome to more Bam Bam theories, this time it's Andrew crying bc of course it is
tw for like past rape/non con, abuse, people being assholes in general yk how it goes on this blog
Andrew was super emotional as a child. no listen.
he would cry or scream over anything and everything but he got fucking beat for it bc "why are you, as a man (??) crying?? wtf is the matter with you"
and also some disgusting people would find it hot when he cried and stuff would get worse iykyk
so he just buried it all
BUT
he and Bee are working very hard trying to come to terms with crying
the first time he started crying in-sesh he started throwing things at Bee and screaming at her
so then they had to talk about that the week after
they talk about how terrifying it is to cry in front of someone after all that's happened
the first time he cries in front of Neil is when Andrew tries to bottom for the first time and freaks tf out
they talk it out, everything's alright, yada yada
Bee (and now Neil) both know that because of Andrew's fucked sinuses and constant repression of tears, his nose bleeds often when he cries
(Andrew cried all the time over his meds when he was alone. they took so much control away from him and they were painful. and he didn't want to take them)
but it gets easier
until
Andreil are having sex and it's great yk
but Andrew starts crying
and he's not hurt or scared but they're both freaking out like wtf is happening
they go to Bee and Google and learn that because Andrew feels things incredibly deeply, but has forced himself not to, that the rush of endorphins from sex just gets to him
so they learn it's not bad and they get used to it
he still doesn't cry often, but he knows that if he needs to, Neil is safe
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Thank you so much for writing for Invincible!!!!!! There's hardly anything especially with a male reader
So like yandere Mark, am i right? If he were to be yandere i could totally imagine him using his powers to intimidate his lover and get rid of anyone who he doesn't like and he would act like it's your fault if you're sad when he kills someone, he got it from his dad
Mark Grayson Yandere Alphabet
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I found this yandere alphabet, so I decided to fill it out for Mark :3c This is post season 2 mark, or something around that, which is why Mark is different to what Nolan would be like. Let me know if you guys wanna see more alphabets like this.
Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
I think after everything that’s happened, Mark would be a very clingy guy. He would hug, hold, and kiss his darling any chance he gets. It can get pretty intense, like, mark holding you so hard bones would break if you try to wiggle free or if he’s feeling extra emotional, be it positive of negative. In the beginning hed be too shy to kiss you, but when he crosses that bridge, he never stops.
Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
After everything with his dad and with Angstrom, it would be much easier for Mark to get violent and bloody, especially if he thinks someone is trying to harm you, in his opinion. And to him, anybody trying to rescue you from him is a threat.
Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?
I don’t see Mark as someone who would mock his darling. Instead, he would try to pamper you and make you love him back, to make you accept that this is your new life now and its for the best. He would be overly affectionate, to the point where its extremely overbearing. His horrible self-worth also makes you seek a lot of validation. So, all in all, he’s very draining to be around.
Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?
Mark would hug you, cuddle you and kiss you against your will. Hed go as far as to force you to take care of yourself if you don’t, either by him doing it for you, or watching you like a hawk as you do it. hed never force himself on his darling though, since he still sees himself as a hero.
Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
He would expose his heart to you from the very beginning, since he feels so guilty about kidnapping you. Mark would just word-vomit everything he feels and how this is what he needs to do, because he loves you so much and can’t lose you.
Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?
Mark would be so sad, but he understands why his darling fights back in the beginning, at least some part of him does. But he would grow frustrated if they kept fighting back for a longer period of time, since he thinks hes doing the right thing. Why cant his darling just SEE that?
Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
Its in no way a game for Mark, this is almost life and death for him. He hates seeing you trying to escape too, since he knows its just proof that you don’t love him back or understand his version of the truth.
Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
Probably the fact that there is a high possibility that Mark has killed his darling’s family and loved ones, since if he killed them, there’s no reason for you to leave right? You have no one else, just him, and that’s all you need. Hes also broken many bones, sometimes without meaning too, and sometimes on purpose.
Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?
He fantasizes about an almost movie like future, with a happy spouse who loves him back just as much as he loves them, where you’ll greet him at the door and embrace him so happy he’s home. It wouldn’t be too out of this world for Mark to imagine his darling as still living in solitude in what he deemed the safest place.
Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?
Mark gets so jealous, since his mental state is already very broken. The very thought of his darling loving someone else or wanting to leave him for someone else? Its almost enough to get him spiraling, and it either leads to him having a horrible breakdown, or growing extra violent when he fights crime.
Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?
Disgustingly doting and clingy. Hes always right behind you or touching you in some way. He absolutely craves your attention and validation, and will have a panic attack if you ignore him. But he also uses a lot of guilt tripping when he isn’t getting his way, or his darling it acting out.
Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?
I imagine your relationship was actually pretty normal in the beginning, with you replacing Amber. As normal as a relationship dating a superhero is at least. So mark was kind of clumsy but so sweet and genuine. But then everything with angstrom happened, and he just kinda breaks.
Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
Yes. Mark acts cooler and a lot more down to earth around people, suppressing the worse parts of himself. He wants to come across as a hero that everyone can look up too, which also means very few people know of your existence after you disappear.
Naughty: How would they punish their darling?
Mark doesn’t like to hurt his darling physically, but he isn’t above breaking bones. He will sob the entire time though, crying and yelling at you that this is your fault and hes only doing it because you gave him no other choice. But he prefers emotional punishment instead, like isolating you for long periods of time.
Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?
He would try to keep as many rights for his darling as possible, not wanting to damage their way of life too much. But you would have no connection to the outside world, and you defiantly wouldn’t be able to leave wherever he keeps you. If you act up too much though, then he would have to start taking privileges away, and chaining you to the bed can also be one of those privileges.
Patience: How patient are they with their darling?
He tries to be patient. Mark knows it’s a big change for you, so of course you’re gonna act out and you’re gonna scream at him and try to fight back. But it also wears on him, making his frayed edges get worse, until he just can’t take it anymore and breaks down, which only adds onto all the guilt he’s been piling on you.
Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
No way. If his darling dies, then Mark would spiral completely out of control. He would either isolate himself completely, or snap to the point where nolans acts look like a field trip. This depends on if his darling’s death was caused by someone else though. If you leave or escape, you bet your ass Mark is coming for you again. And the GDA would most likely help him, since they know the easiest way to control Mark is to let him keep you.
Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?
Mark would feel incredibly guilty and selfish for kidnapping you, but since he thinks it’s the right thing to do, then he would learn to cope with it. There is a chance you can get him to leave you go though, if you catch him at the right time when he’s most vulnerable, and if he thinks you truly love him in return. But this would be rare, and him coming back for you would be very likely.
Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?
All the loss and chaos he’s experienced since gaining his powers. The stuff Mark has experienced is enough to break the strongest of men, and with his mental state already being so fractured, the thought of losing you would be the last push he needed.
Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
Mark would feel so horrible about seeing his darling cry or scream, since he already feels guilty about kidnapping you. This is also why it would take him months or even longer to tell you he killed your entire family and all your loved ones, since he doesn’t want to see you cry more.
Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?
Theres so many flavours of yandere, that Marks acts would fit some type of yandere, so probably not. Maybe the fact that there is a small chance he would willingly let his darling go? Or the fact that he resorts to using his own guilt and tears to manipulate you.
Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?
Honestly just play along with his delusions, that yes Mark, this was the right idea and the world id dangerous. You love him too, and of course you’ll hold him and tell him he’s doing the right thing and being such a good hero. It wouldn’t be too hard to twist him around your finger, since he’s so starved for you and your attention. Escape would be pretty fucking hard though, since even the GDA wouldn’t help you.
Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
Most of Mark hurting you would be accidental, if hes under a lot of stress or very wound up. But it isn’t above him to hurt you on purpose if he thinks there’s no other choice, like you trying to escape too much, or trying to attack him.
Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?
Mark would worship the very ground you walked on and would see you as the center of his universe. This is also why the GDA wouldn’t do anything, since Mark sees you as his everything, and you are human and live on earth, then he wouldn’t turn against humanity. Mark would also bend over backwards to gain his darlings affection, whatever it takes, as long as it isn’t letting you free or anything like that.
Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
If you replaced Amber, then you two would have been dating for a while before he snaps, so he would have pined for around that time.
Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?
I don’t think he would do it on purpose, but it would come as a byproduct of his darling being isolated for so long that they just kinda break on their own. Or might be more his darling being slowly shaped into the same kind of stuff that Mark is made out of than outright breaking, since Mark still loves you for who you are. This is where he’s different from his dad.
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fungifanart · 2 days
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A Truly Wicked Weave
Characters: Male reader, Yuu!reader, Vil Schoenheit
CW: Mild angst, self-image issues
Word Count: 1.3k
Notes: Wrote this for a request from the @twst-charity which is still very much active! Feel free to donate if you can!
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Vil has had several...opinions regarding the Prefect ever since meeting him, specifically about how he presents himself.
That baggy, wrinkled clothing, that tie that's never tied correctly, that consistently deadpan expression, and, last but not least, that bun.
That damn hair bun.
Now, of course, Vil is no stranger to wearing one's hair up and is aware of the benefits of doing so, but he's also no fool. He can see the slight wave of the ends that stick out under the bun, the gentle shine of his hair under the light of the sun.
Goodness, just one glimpse of what could be and suddenly he's waxing poetic. Who is he, Rook?
Regardless, Vil just KNOWS that the Prefect is hiding something extraordinary within that tacky bun and he'll be damned if he isn't there to see it.
He just needs the right opportunity.
And lo and behold, said opportunity lands perfectly in his lap like a gift from an angel. An angel with black wings, a creepy mask and questionable treatment of his students, but an angel nonetheless.
After all, what better place is there to let one's hair down than in their own living quarters?
Vil can feel his anticipation rising exponentially despite his exhaustion as they enter Ramshackle dorm, where he and the others will be staying as they prepare for SDC.
And just like that, Vil finds himself killing two birds with one stone later that night as he walks into the kitchen, explaining the effect of his signature spell to the fools who triggered it before laying eyes on a head of long, majestic, luxurious hair crouched next to the offenders.
Vil would never let it show on his face, but he can feel his heart skip a beat upon witnessing the Prefect’s hair in its full splendor and his mind is already conjuring countless ideas of how he can style it without a bun in sight.
And it's when they're walking back to their rooms together that Vil attempts to make said ideas a reality.
"Don't you think you're being too hard on them, Vil?" the Prefect asks in concern for his friends.
"Pay them no mind, Prefect. They broke the rules and are facing the consequences." Vil replies dismissively before changing the subject, "Putting that aside, I must say that I find your hair quite impressive. May I touch it?"
"Huh? U-uh, thanks?? And sure, I guess???" the other man responds, caught off-guard.
"You're very welcome. It's not every day that I admit such things, you know." Vil says, admiring the Prefect’s hair some more before reaching out to get a feel for it, "Ah, and it's quite soft, as well! It's truly a travesty that you keep it tied up in a bun so often. If you took the time to style it, I'm sure you'd be turning heads all over campus!"
"Y-yeah, I'm sure..." he says, noticeably tense and uncomfortable from the sudden compliments.
"If you want, I could even style it for you!" Vil offers while already testing out a braid on him, "Think of it as some small repayment for hosting us here."
"W-well, if you're offering, then I guess I wouldn't--" the Prefect tries to respond, but is drowned out by Vil's musings.
"We could always start with the standard ponytail or perhaps a Shaftlandian braid...although, a Fleurite braid might be easier to start with...it might look better if we were to cut it a little--" at that last statement, the Prefect whips his head around, wrenching his hair out of Vil's hands and taking his wrist in his own, almost bruisingly tight, grasp.
"Vil Schoenheit, you will do no such thing." the Prefect warns in a dead-serious tone of voice with eyes that bore right through him.
A beat of pin-drop silence passes as Vil stands there, utterly flabbergasted by this shift in demeanor.
The moment ends with the Prefect pushing Vil's hand back towards him, "I've changed my mind. You're not going anywhere NEAR my hair while you guys are here." he orders before promptly turning and walking away, leaving no room for argument.
And that was that.
Any attempts by Vil to change the Prefect’s mind after that night are swiftly shot down and no amount of cajoling from the others has any effect either. This is the first time any of them have seen him act so bullheaded about something.
Vil's disappointment is immeasurable, but his status as a guest in the Prefect’s dorm means his hands are tied.
So he'll let it go. For now.
Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, the next month is filled to the brim with "excitement" to keep his mind off of the Prefect’s hair.
Indeed, the subject does feel rather irrelevant in the face of his own insecurities compounding into an overblot, being ambushed and kidnapped and then having to stave off a world-ending event.
...until one considers that the bun was present throughout all of it.
It was most definitely taunting him at this point.
He doesn't even know why it's still bothering him after so long, but if he never has to see the Prefect in a bun again, it'll be too soon.
However, after all of his pain and suffering, the Great Seven finally grant Vil a blessing in the form of the Prefect and his companion needing a place to stay whilst Ramshackle is being repaired. An opportunity which he wastes no time capitalizing on.
"Come now, Prefect," Vil says in a low voice as he approaches the other man with a hairbrush in one hand and a dry shampoo can in the other, "Let's not forget whose dorm we're currently in~"
"Urgh...fine." the Prefect finally concedes, "However, my one condition is that you keep those things FAR away from my hair." he says while motioning to the scissors sitting on Vil's vanity.
"Hmph. Very well." Vil relents, albeit with some palpable disappointment.
Regardless, Vil finally wrangles the Prefect into the chair and begins the process of styling, allowing the room to fall into a comfortable silence.
After a few minutes of brushing and spraying to prepare for the actual styling, a thought occurs to Vil that had been nagging in the back of his head.
"Prefect, I feel I must ask. Why are you so averse to having your hair cut?" Vil asks bluntly.
The Prefect ponders this question for a few seconds before responding with a sigh, "...My mother. When my hair is long like this, it looks exactly like hers, so it helps me feel more connected to her while we're literal worlds apart." he finishes while gently placing his hand on his reflection in the mirror.
Vil's expression softens upon hearing this, despite not caring to know his own mother, he still knows how important a maternal bond can be to someone and how it's not something to be taken lightly.
“I see.” Vil responds after a second of deliberation, “My apologies for being so forceful on the matter. However, wouldn't it hurt your mother just as much to see you shutting others out as it would to see you lessen that connection?”
“Th-That's…I…” the Prefect stutters, clearly not having seen it that way.
“True to my word, I will not cut your hair,” Vil begins while weaving the other man's hair into a dutch braid, “but surely it would make her happy to see you experimenting with other hairstyles?”
“I-” the Prefect stutters once more before looking at his reflection and letting out another sigh, “...If you still want to style my hair in the future…I'll think about it. But please let me have this for just a little while longer?”
Finally satisfied, Vil finishes the braid with a soft smile, “I do believe I will.”
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trashytoastboi · 2 days
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Day of Greed - Mammon
~Sin-ario M! Version~
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> Male Version
> Word count: 1,796 words
Warnings: NSFW (Teasing, Sex on a pool table, Stripping, Thigh fucking, Overstimulation)
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Saturday night had a dual meaning for {Name} and Mammon on one hand it meant date night- on the other, if it was a stay at home date then Mammon loved turning it into a games night. Of course Mammon loved having something of a gambling nature and betting for those games, he’d suggest something like poker, texas hold em, black jack- the kinds of games you’d find in a casino. Mammon was honestly a very good teacher when explaining the rules and putting them into practice with a few rounds that had no real stakes until {Name} got used to things. After that it was suggested poker be the first game, it was one Mammon believed himself to have the highest chance of winning after he saw that {Name} struggled with the concept of a flawless poker face. It started with low stakes, a little bit of grimm, exchanges on the chore roster, desert privileges. Cute and simple bets that would feed Mammon’s satisfaction for winning as well give him some time to slack off and enjoy some easily earned grimm. At least that’s how it was supposed to be. {Name} was blessed by lady luck and won EVERY round, he took home all the grimm that Mammon bet, he was to be in charge of ALL of {Name’s} chores for the next three months, {Name} would get all of his deserts and in a final way to raise the stakes Mammon even bet Goldie and lost. 
{Name} was having more fun watching Mammon get a little more silly and desperate as the night wore on, he wouldn’t keep Goldie away from him, nor make Mammon do all the chores- just on the days when {Name} himself didn’t feel up to it. Mammon in his final effort, proposed something that pleasantly surprised {Name}. Now having lost everything he’d entered the game with, he had only the clothes on his back and that’s exactly what he proposed to lose next- via strip poker. {Name} liked this side of him, finding it more cute than anything so naturally he agreed. Mammon played with more sincerity and no longer going easier on his boyfriend was proving to turn the tides steadily in his favour. Until {Name} claimed the first rounds victory, and Mammon’s jacket hit the floor first with some curse words at his luck tonight. For the first time since they started playing seriously Mammon won and {Name} lost the jacket of his uniform. With the newfound surge of motivation he gets fired up and the competition is neck and neck until they’re left with nothing else to strip. Mammon proposes a sudden death round, winner takes all. Everything that had been bet up until now would be the winners. {Name} truly had no reason to agree when currently they possessed everything and Mammon would be the only one walking away with nothing gained from this. His tenacity was admirable and in the spirit of a good game {Name} agreed. The night had proved that {Name} had incredible luck and a secret talent for things like poker so saying that he bolstered himself with well deserved confidence would not be an understatement. 
The cards are shuffled, dealt and finally it’s time for the final game of the night. Mammon looks at {Name’s} face, noting the anxious way he bit his lip while looking across the cards in his hand. He’s nervous- good news for Mammon. He held four of a kind, surely he’d win. He settled into that false sense of security and for a split second he saw a flash of confidence in his boyfriend’s eyes, something told Mammon he was about to lose, so doing the thing that any reasonable player would do- he drops his cards and pulls {Name} into a sudden and rather forceful kiss. He gasped softly as Mammon pinned him  to the table, deepening the kiss when he heard the faintest moan. His leg inched between {Name’s}  legs, pressing against his half hard cock and without wavering Mammon pulled away for a moment to catch his breath. “What about the game?”  Mammon doesn’t answer, flashing a smile his way, knowing that a charming smile would be enough to pretend the question never existed in the first place as he continued to smother his boyfriend in more kisses. {Name} stopped him, looking at Mammon who pouted when being denied his kisses. “Well?” 
“Who cares about the damn game?” Mammon grumbled, leaning down to nip at {Name’s} earlobe and kiss down his neck, suckling small marks into his collarbone as Mammon just kept moving down. {Name} could already feel through Mammon’s urgency and his raging hard on that he is pretty turned on. {Name} laughed softly, Mammon reminded him that it’s his fault for being too damn cute. He shifts to pull {Name} closer and he rests his cock on the other male’s stomach- almost showing off just how far he’s going to reach inside him. {Name} bit his lip noticing the slight rock of his hips and how sloppily Mammon’s cock dribbled precum onto {Name’s} stomach. The sight of seeing the demon so worked up when they hadn’t done anything but kiss was getting {Name} hotter by the second. {Name} reached to half cup his cock with his hand as it rested on his stomach, rubbing it with his hand, gathering the pre and making it a little more slippery as Mammon cursed and rutted against {Name’s} stomach and between his hand. “Jus’ like that baby”; Mammon hissed through his teeth. Mammon grabbed {Name’s} thighs, and guided his legs till they were over one of Mammon’s shoulders all to make sure his pretty thighs were pressed together as the demon thrust his cock in and out, grazing against {Name’s} cock with every lazy thrust, he angled his hips to make sure every thrust intentionally bumped against the sensitive underside, earning louder moans and trills of praises that fell from {Name’s} open mouth. His pace picks up, driving them only further into their heat, and for {Name} it frustrated him. He felt so close but it wasn’t enough, just a little more.. “Mammon please…I can’t wait” he purred, a whisper in his shaky voice as he begged for him. Mammon was utterly helpless before those words, he knew it and so did {Name}. If {Name} asked for something, Mammon was so utterly weak to him, Mammon could never deny {Name} anything he desired. If it meant going to the ends of the world and back he’d do so. 
He spreads {Name’s} legs, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of his thighs, he keeps a slow uneven rut against him, taking a moment to appreciate just how hard he was…All for him, and only him. Mammon guided his tip to {Name’s} hole, feeling the instant heat the moment the two touched. “Shit…so eager huh baby?” He chuckled, pressing past the resistance while {Name} stretched around him. {Name} reached down to grab Mammon’s hips as he persistently inched further inside, {Name} whined while feeling the stretch was too much to go any further for now. “So tight baby, can’t take anymore of me can ya?” Mammon cooed, pulling out to rut in shallowly, getting his precious boyfriend’s ass more used to his size. Once Mammon felt like he opened up a little more he’d push another insistent inch inside before repeating the pattern of rutting and pushing in, his fingers teasingly trace along the veins on {Name’s} cock encouraging him to calm down. {Name} impatiently tried to grind his hips against Mammon, trying to bite off more than he can chew, Mammon knew it. {Name} would get impatient, take too much and then cry that Mammon’s cock is too big and he can’t handle it. His fingers curl around {Name’s} length, increasing the pressure with a steady pace as he felt {Name’s} insides clenching around him “Gonna cum for me pretty baby?” Mammon smiled, watching how he nodded frantically and his body practically lifted off the table as he was rocked with the earth shattering pleasure that he’d grown greedy for. “Atta boy, think ya can handle the rest now?” he’d asked, and as expected {Name} nodded. Without warning Mammon slammed the rest in without a moment to hesitate, ripping the most delighted high pitched whine from {Name}, he sucked in a breath and let out a long groan at how delectable he felt inside. 
Mammon sets his hands on either side of {Names} head, noticing his cards still turned face down on the table. He thrust hard enough to rock the table as he flipped the cards one by one. “Ya had a losing hand, nothing here coulda won.” Mammon groaned, a new layer of satisfaction swelled in his chest knowing that he actually did win. But regardless of whether he won or lost, he’d already planned to fuck his handsome man on the table. “Ya need to stop being this damn cute” he groans while he pushes him down onto the table, his hands tighten their hold on {Name’s} hips to keep in him place. Mammon grew greedier for {Name’s} pleasure and until he’s satisfied he will not relent. He could feel the way {Name’s} body tensed up and all the knowing signs as his voice got louder, more urgent. Mammon flashed the all knowing grin, and the urge to wipe that smug expression off his face {Name} opted to be a little bratty, the more Mammon insisted on just letting go and feeling good, he whined “Don’t wanna.” Mammon paused, looking down at {Name}. He leaned close and pecked his lips, softly searing gentle kisses down his neck and into his collar bone. He moved with slow, intentional movements making sure he hits that spot he loves oh so much. “My pretty baby…” Mammon groaned, {Name} shivered on the emphasis he placed on the word ‘my’, he looked at {Name} with pleading eyes. “Please be good for me? Give it to me…” his voice was so sweet, the typical depictions you’d hear of how people explain the voices of demons enticing them. {Name’s} protests didn’t last long at all because he gave in the moment Mammon opened his mouth, he sighs and furrows his brows to hold back his own release. Refusing until he felt {Name} constrict around him with all his pleasure, {Name’s} breaths grew shallower as he moaned Mammon’s name in short utterances on repeat, Mammon steadily thrust and kissed him, working through his high until he relaxed in his arms. Mammon purred as he pulled out, frantically rubbing the head of his cock against his twitching hole until he painted him with his cum, smiling at the sight of the mess he’d left. Mammon really…really loved game night. 
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Taglist: @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf
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crying-fantasies · 3 days
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Early morning
It tends to be quite cold as your fingers keep out of the blankets, the air is a little damper these days, more than the city that's for sure.
Sometimes you do miss the fast environment, the easy access, not the usual heaviness and madness around or that one person entitled enough to believe their opinion is higher than others, but the comfiness and easiness of different gadgets, still, nothing that couldn't be brought in the occasional travel to the nearest town.
But it's such an inconvenience to go all the way there, but it is also an inconvenience to only go twice a month for supplies, just one more month and the Dominguez's store would be complete is an endless mantra as you dream of more pillows, more blankets, a heater, all things that you still don't have money to indulge into, and speaking of heaters, realization falls upon you when your hand doesn't touch anything at the other side of the mattress, maybe this is the main reason your dreams are slipping away as blankets are a little too cold in this fresh morning, you finally get out of the bed if only to see around.
An endless landscape is what greets you at the other side of the window, a few houses in between, it's a pacific morning, or as much as it can really be before your neighbor says his morning greetings for everyone to hear, you don't blame him for the glitch in his vox that leads him to shout almost everything, just do a list in your day, take a moment to deliver some medical rations to help him with it.
The morning still feels cold, your brain and body are in a war of tug in the prospect of waking up or staying in bed, it would be a very much easier decision if your partner was here in the first place, encouraging enough to drag you out.
You knew in what you're getting into before dating an early bird and moving into a shared house, but it's 5 a.m. and the sun is barely poking through the horizon, no heated blanket will prevent you from freezing if Hound isn't in here as you wake up, and nothing would guarantee he hasn't taken a shower or is covered in mud, either way he would need a shower and his usual warm exterior would be cold to the touch for a few minutes.
In the end no decision is made as your partner returns to the berthroom, his servo using a towel to dry him completely and the first thing he hears is for him to return to your side, the piece of fabric is forgotten in the floor as his engines rev so hard that he is dry in mere seconds, last leftover drops evaporated as he comes up the mattress, easily welcomed by your arms at the sides of his helm, a warm kiss that you can't keep, sleepiness still holding you captive, falling again to the bed as he follows obediently before kissing back.
He is a kind soul, but also a devoted worker if it involves the bountiful mixes of seeds gradually developing under the soil, barely there sprouts just above the surface, still incredibly weak, but you were so sure they wouldn't freeze in this early morning with all the equipment used to prevent it, trial and error has been invested to secure so, and he deserves a break as you deserve a good start of day.
Hound could do so much to keep the cold away as he just indulges in your plea, not even resisting when you call him for a second time and his spark pulses hard, radiating warmth, "it isn't that cold right now", those are his own words as his servo reaches for you, holding you just right above the mattress, and taking his side again, the warm feeling above every part of his armor still isn't enough, he has to reset his voice regulator when something like a groan escapes him as your cold fingers find a sneaky way under his armor, fingertips touching his warm protoform.
It's cruel, and he tells you so, but he doesn't mean it, moving just right to press his protoform against your skin, quickly accepting that the longer it stays there the warmer it will be in mere seconds for you to set him free of your grip, you're surrounded by the warm ventilation of his, the hot air gets trapped inside the cotton blankets, his leg struts are just leisurely tangled with your own as far it can, Hound is on his side so kissing isn't so easy now, the next better option is to crawl your way to his neck guard, and as you do so he holds your body to prevent any danger, as if the bedding under isn't enough, "Good morning, Hound".
"Good morning to you too, my spark"
It's cold outside, the sun is still in the horizon, and there is a lot of work to do during the day, but you only exhale, kissing him once again and holding him in place, feeling him relax under your hands, Hound knows what you're trying to do, or at least catching on it, as his barely closed optics open once again, spell broken.
"Wait, no, the tomatoes, we must-"
"You're telling me to stop?"
Hound intake is closed tight to show you his answer, you laugh tiredly at his antics, his optics look at you as if you're the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, and you kiss him once again before the duties of the day do drag you out of the berthroom.
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pluralsword · 1 year
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Wish we knew (trans) systems with transformer headmates who are willing to dig into transness so we could like, develop community knowledge about how to tackle dysphoria/trauma related to them and other headmates and what that does to the body and how to heal (for the record we aren’t traumagenic, we’re protogenic/gendiegenic). Like, we know two that we are friends with, and are just not having an easy time right now (it’s getting better but it’s getting in the way of somet things we have to do). thankfully our therapist and gender clinic folks are very supportive and so are our friends and spaces we frequent. We are just kind of at a loss over how long it’s going to take to really feel better/increased headache blood rush symptoms when getting cued by specific things we didn’t used to get. We’ll make it, it’s just not easy, but we think that if we weren’t around this would have been much more painful for our alterhuman robot headmate and the way her system used to work before us.
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icewindandboringhorror · 11 months
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recent lounging babey images
#he's so floppy recently and I hope it's just the heat. I think wamr weather makes everyone floppy and loungy#a beauntifulle boye...#cats#STILL working on posting some drafts. finishing new poll adventure.. other things... It's just hard with the weather and other things going#on. I've had a few more doctors appointments and other things to do recently that have to be done in a time limit#so I hvae to use my extremely limited energy working on that instead of doing the things I'd really rather do. :T#Main focuses though are keeping up better with doing and posting costumes + sculptures as main creative things. at least finishing the#main poll adventure story. Reworking the game I kind of abandoned for a few years. keeping up with game videos and a few other side things.#Especially the game though. I've been in a really worldbuildy mood recently. I just wish that was easier to manifest into something. I've#now put the worldbuilding slideshow reading video on pause for a while because it's SOOO long to do#and I think I should prioritize making games and stuff instead. but still other things. IT's just kind of like.. I have a whole world and#everything very built and planned out but now.. what do I do with it? what's the best way to share that? factual slideshows just going over#the information like a dictionary? make it into a game? write short stories? do art attached to the world? etc. etc. ?? There are so many#potential avenues I end up kind of flip flopping between them a lot because none really seem more beneficial than the others and they all#seem equally enjoyable and also equally hard so. It's like?? I guess just do what the hell ever and hope I made the right choice in terms o#cost benefit and reward for my time lol. ANYWAY.. Also why I'm in my 'trying to make friends' era still because I think having other creat#ive friends can help you find direction like.. people will meet each other and then go 'hey lol just for fun lets start a project together!#and then like 5 years later it's genuinely become something. etc. having other people to help weed out ideas and start small creative teams#together and etc. I feel is a very beneficial part of networking or whatever but also I have the social capacity of a stale bread roll and#am also inherently unrelatable to seemingly a majority of people due to my hermit wizard swag (detachment from general society and hyper#focus on fantasy worlds in my head gjhghj) so trying to meet people as a grown adult with social issues is Very easy and fun (it is not)#even very basic things like my core communication style is so incompatible with a lot of people it's like.. hhhh... People in this modern#age have GOT to stop being afraid of phone calls and/or text that is longer than 6 paragraphs. Work with me here. I WANT to talk to you. bu#I do not know what your emojis mean and it's physically impossible for me to type less than 85 sentences. please.. hhjgjgb#AAANYWAY!! I am working on things when I can given the circumstances (SUMMER).. hopefully some costume pictures and stuff soon. :'3#I've not forgotten about my art and etc. - as usual I just am bad at social media and also functioning if it's above 65F lol
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famewolf · 1 month
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speaking of ocd, I think I'm realizing that I truly don't have anxiety and it's literally just my ocd. im not anxious about anything until it involves me and suddenly I'm spiraling
#[static]#it's hard to describe succinctly but the anxiety I deal with nowadays is directly related to my ocd and autism#some anxiety is so easy to brush off but the ones stemming from my ocd are extremely difficult to get out from under#i'll spiral for weeks about one specific thing and ruminate on it and mentally worry and pick at it forever#it's utterly exhausting jfkdghdf some days are easier than others#and often that one thing I ruminate on becomes multiple things all stemming from the first thing#like recently it's been my car ... the thing is totally fine ... runs fine drives fine but ive been freaked out by it for the last 3 weeks#every time i go into the shop theyre like ... everything is good in fact its in good condition for its age and they'll mention like#one thing that will need to be replaced to keep it in tip top condition and then my brain will fixate on it and imagine all the ways#something horrific will happen if that doesnt get changed and then that leads to all the other things in the car suddenly freaking me out#i defs used to have general anxiety and depression but those went away literally the day i got top surgery#poof instantly gone it was wild and i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop#never did but now my ocd has been really bad the last 6 months cuz of all the extra horrifying things going on#so i thought it was just my anxiety coming back but this week i realized it was my ocd and have been treating it accordingly#and ive seen some relief but i definitely need to go back to therapy once i get my insurance again#its the only way to get a hold on it and my last therapist ended up moving states so we didnt get to work on tools for it very much#im yapping at this point i just needed to vent for a second about how truly yucky ocd makes me feel
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perhaps I am becoming far more utilitarian than I ever expected to be?
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cherry-alive · 23 days
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So, okay, I made a post a bit about this yesterday, but I've had a lot of thoughts since then and a useful conversation with my therapist. So. Complaining about dyspraxia below
I haven't been formally diagnosed with dyspraxia. It's actually pretty much the only diagnosis I've given to myself without at least medical confirmation. But I've given it to myself based on both a lot of research and comments I have received from medical practitioners (e.g. my pediatrician commenting on my weak grip, not meeting developmental milestones on time, comments from teachers, etc). And today my therapist said she's pretty sure I have it based not just on what I've reported but what she's observed in the way I physically interact with the world over the years, so that was helpful and validating. And we contacted my doctor today to hopefully get a referral to an OT, who will be able to actually assess me, which would be very cool. Because I still doubt myself all the time and go "you don't really have this" except like...I do though lol.
Part of the reason I doubt myself about it is that it hasn't had that much impact for many years. But recently, that has changed, and I've realized that it's not that I got better, it's that I went on disability and stopped trying to do a lot of things I used to do and spent like all day on my computer and got assistance with most physical tasks. I'm doing much, much better mental health wise lately, which is amazing, and as a result I'm engaging more and more with the physical world around me, whether that's going on walks or to the grocery store or cooking or dressing nicely or eating in restaurants or trying art or whatever. Which is great!
But it's all. so. fucking. physically. difficult. Not in an exhausting way, in a coordination way. Pushing carts at the grocery store? I bump into things constantly and get really overwhelmed by it and a few weeks ago dropped a glass bottle of olive oil that shattered all over the aisle in the store. Cooking? I love to cook, but it takes me at least 2 to 3 times the time to make any given recipe because I know myself and know I can't multitask so I do all the prep all at once up front, and slowly at that bc cutting vegetables is hard. Putting on makeup? Better set aside 10 minutes just to try to put on lip gloss without going outside the lines. Going to a restaraunt? Often a mortifying experience where I a) bump into other tables and/or b) have food all over my shirt by the end of the meal, which is so embarrassing but I've struggled with it my whole life. And it's just. It's all really really difficult and often I feel so ashamed when I drop something or bump into something or get messy or whatever in public and it just...it just sucks. And I get so so so frustrated and flustered and overwhelmed when I'm trying to do basic tasks at home like hanging up clothes or whatever and it's just so difficult and frustrating for me.
And I had forgotten how hard it all was because for years I just spent all my time on my computer. But I'm not doing that now. Which is great! But I trip and stumble and knock into things and get lost outside and can't do the things I want to do and I'm just constantly reminded that the physical world is very challenging for me. My probable dyspraxia has really been interfering with my life lately in pretty significant ways that have surprised me, I had kind of forgotten how frickin hard it makes a lot of things. I consider myself able bodied for the most part but I'm remembering now that like...not exactly 100% actually. And it just kind of sucks. A lot.
The good news is that as I mentioned, we contacted my GP about it and hopefully I'll get an assessment and maybe even some OT and/or PT, which could hopefully really help me. Because I'm trying very hard to recover and regain some independence, and this is proving a more significant challenge towards those goals than I had expected.
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dandyshucks · 23 days
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need Guz to hug me tightly for like an hour solid oh my god dhdjdkl I went driving for the first time in over a year and I chewed my lip raw 😭😭
I'm starting to look like a caricature of Anxiety with all these physical symptoms and signs LMAO
#this is so ridiculous fhfjdkdl#i do not like driving fjdkdl i know i should not be on the roads#but unfortunately i have to bc i live rural and also my parents insist i ''just need more practice''#practice is not going to fix the dissociation 😭😭 practice will not fix the Other Drivers being shitty and scary and reckless fjfkdl#it might make it slightly easier bc i wont have to think as hard about shoulder and mirror checks and roadsigns and speed limits#and where i am located on the road and intersection rules and whatnot#but like... it does not fix that i live in a town (and world lol) where ppl are fucking bonkers on the road#i had someone riding my ass for like a full five minutes. we had only two feet btwn us. MAYBE. IF THAT MUCH.#he was BIG mad that i was going the speed limit#and THERES A POLICE STATION LIKE RIGHT NEAR THAT AREA MY GUY IM NOT GONNA GO OVER THE SPEED LIMIT RIGHT THERE LMAO ????#also im a rule follower usually so i do tend to go Exactly the speed limit fjfkdl#and maaannn that makes people SO fucking angry dhfjdl its impossible to drive Anywhere without having someone right on ur bumper#its so ridiculous like... that's not helping anyone ??? ur not getting to ur destination faster by riding up on somebodys ass ???? hewwo ???#ANYWAYS. i drove around the neighborhood and then went up the highway and thru some intersections and then into the main core of town#and then i got my dad to take over from there bc it was lunch hour and the core of town is a lawless land at the best of times#MY NERVES ARE FRIED. i need Guz to act as a weighted blanket or one of those pressure therapy vests for me LOL#im like... shaking fhdjsl that was far more than i thought we were going to do for driving today good lord#IM OKAY THOUGH I SURVIVED I DIDNT EVEN HIT A CURB OR ANYTHING#i think I've only hit a curb once so far in all my times driving and that was on my second time driving on a road i think#so pretty good track record... im a very careful driver fjdkdl i work so hard to be safe and drive smoothly#during my driving test the only thing the test guy had to critique was that i waited at an intersection when i could've gone#but the reason i waited was bc i wasnt sure i could make it across the traffic lane before the oncoming vehicle got to us#so it was like. a safe decision overall but a little too hesitant which can actually be unsafe fjdkdl#AUGH ANYWAYS SORRY FOR RAMBLING SM#driving stresses me out so bad and my lip is all raw now and i have so many physical stress symptoms the past few days fhfjdl#after tonight i should be able to calm down a bit hopefully fhfkdl theres a thing we're going to tonight thats been stressing me out so bad#but after tonight it'll be over and hopefully I can get myself settled down again fjfjdkl#dandy.cmd#vent //
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neverendingford · 5 months
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#so I have officially been to a club/bar now#tag talk#it was a country bar which was actually cool cause they played like. actual old country none of the post-9/11 shit#except everything else about it was ugh awful. music too loud drinks FUCKING EXPENSIVE holy shit stay home and drink instead pleaseeee#it was a work thing but none of my coworkers I'm friends with actually knew what they were doing so while I wasn't actual awkward they were#and the thing about social interaction is that if no one knows what they're doing it's not very fun#I grabbed someone and started a pool game because the table was open and both of us were absolute garbage at the game#but I was laughing about it and they were like... apologetic about being bad?? d#I did have the classic experience though where your friends disappear and you end up alone because you don't know where they went#all in all an interesting experience but not one I'm eager to repeat.#I did get invited to someone's Christmas Eve Party though which is cool and they gave me their number to make sure I have the info#so probably worth going just for that I think. got their phone number so we can communicate so that's like. successful social connection.#we're already friendly at work but easier to talk to someone when you're both not busy on the opposite side of the store with customers#anyway. who tf out going to clubs. awful environment.#I was like.. twenty percent of the way to being comfortable going out and dancing but hard to just swallow your hesitation#and a) alcohol as liquid courage is hmm not ideal and b) it was expensive anyway#oh well. it'll take more time to come out of my shell and I'd literally never been to a bar/club before in my life.#so I'll have some patience with myself and not be annoyed with how I could have done better or been more confident.#literally totally new environment. also... country music was nice but not a group of people I could really be comfortable around yaknow?#Lotta old white straight couples dancing the country two-step so I didn't really feel like I fit in.#anyway. interesting experience. neat to have. if I ever have a reason to go to a bar again I'll know more about what to expect#also... no one carded me. no one asked for ID? aren't they supposed to#oh wait. comment about the yodeling cause it was actual old country but they didn't do the voice register changes for it#I was like WAIT ARE THEY GONNA YODEL FOR REAL??? but then he didn't he just jumped intervals without shifting voice.#was a little disappointing but maybe a lot to expect from a random stage show at a bar.#wait wait I'm also proud of myself because the bartender asked open or closed and my mind scrambled for half a second to figure it out#but then I realized it meant open tab or closed tab like ordering more drinks and then paying at the end and so obviously closed#cause I ain't buying more than the one drink holy fuck it was so expensive also they mix them way stronger than I like#I like my drink weak ass and pathetic. alcohol is like spice I like a little to taste but not a lot. complimentary not overpowering#I drank it and then remembered I never ate lunch so I was like fuck and immediately went and ate something (work party so free food)
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peapod20001 · 8 months
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I actually do have very complex thoughts about many different things, it’s just a bit challenging to connect the inner voice to the outer voice sometimes </3
#random post#I have SO many thoughts and ideas. I love to create and I love to build on what I have and I like to connect to existing things#there is lots of oc lore in my brain! it graces my blog sometimes. not always. it’s hard to put abstract feeling and thought into words#and it’s challenging trying to find the best place to start talking about things yknow? like I as the creator of this whole unique universe#pretty much already know how things end up. how they’re going. how it started. some are easier to know than others. but that doesn’t stop me#from trying create for it. or searching for the missing piece to start the domino effect of development and fulfillment#it’s hard to see where the pieces fit sometimes. but getting a new angle or changing something about the piece can make finding where it#belongs easier. this is what I mean when I say I have very intricate and complicated thoughts. not spending too long writing my sentences or#overthinking them helps to keep things as they are in my head. since I’m not filtering them into something almost unrecognizable#writing a paper in a single sitting in a set time really helps me produce a unified and intricate product. I’ve been told I write well#which I find mildly humorous. I’ve never been a writer by choice really. I’m an artist that works with a physical visual piece rather than#letters that convey meaning. I’m more of a thinker than a writer. but in some instances they’re one in the same. I’m rambling but y’all know#that about me by now I’m sure hahagahaha. yea. my OCD makes me spend too long on words and that’s why I always talk in a short way#a more simplistic way. leaves less room for the mind to pick out flaws if everything is flawed on purpose yknow? haha yea. I like me yknow?#and other people like me too! that will never cease to surprise and amaze me haha. I’m one of those people that has an easier time with#people different from themselves. the people I’ve known and spoke to throughout my life are so very different from me. but they all feel#comfortable to share their experience with me. a lot of these people on paper would be ones I’d try to avoid I guess. differing opinions and#world views yknow? but the way I am. gives people comfort I’ve found. I’m not bragging about that it’s just interesting. it’s the same with#my whole household like we meet people that are like. idk a good descriptor but they’re very set in a specific way. and then we just?? they#like us?? idk it’s just funny to think about my dad getting along with legit crazy people or my mom being the person who’s the favorite of#the least liked / polite person in the office. or my brother and sister being very well liked in their schools but are just average students#who aren’t trying to be more than kind. or when I as myself. with the thoughts and opinions I have. am able to get along with anyone I#come across. I’m really not trying to be bright about that I’m just an. empath? I guess? I’m just very nice to people and meet them at their#level and don’t try steering the conversation to smth bad or controversial. but even then people will still talk to me and like me cus I’m#not putting them down or hating on them for how they think and feel. I listen. I can understand them. not agreeing with their views doesn’t#mean I can’t get why people think or feel how they do. I try to not be biased or entirely antagonist to things different than me#I’ve gone my whole life not understanding a lot of things. and over time I’ve learned them. I go into experiences with people like that#I may not understand yet. but I’ll learn to. that’s probably the main reason why people feel comfortable around me. that and also I have#a smile pretty much always lol. I’m small and non threatening lookin with a single dimple on the cheek and eyes so dark you could see the#faintest light reflected in them. anyways I have gone into several different directions with this and kinda lost the main point I was making
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autisticlee · 2 months
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always told "is better to have 1-2 good friends than 20 not so good friends" or things like that. but... kinda not better tbh. can't rely on 1-2 people to always be there when you need someone. is nice to have more options. gareuntee *someone* can be there at any time.
but reality is I can't have many friends and can't expect 2 friends I do have to pay attention to me when need someone. afraid to annoying them and make them leave like everyone else. so all I can do is suffer alone ._.
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