#system persecutor

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for system persecutors!

System persecutors are headmates who cause harm, either to themselves, their headmates, or their body. Many systems may find they have persecutors, and may be unsure of how best to navigate living with their persecutors and forming positive bonds. But persecutors are still headmates, maintaining a valid, while often maladaptive, role, and they deserve to be embraced and accepted in their system and the plural community as a whole! So this post is for all the persecutors out there!

❤️‍🩹 Shoutout to persecutors who have been traumatized, hurt, ostracized, or bullied by others, whether inside or outside their system!

🔥 Shoutout to persecutors who lash out at their headmates in order to protect their system!

🥀 Shoutout to persecutors who want to change for the better, but don’t know how!

🏵 Shoutout to persecutors who struggle with self-harm, intrusive thoughts, suicidal ideation, and other potentially harmful thoughts or actions!

❤️‍🩹 Shoutout to persecutors who are also symptom holders, hosts, littles, protectors, or have some other role in their system!

🔥 Shoutout to persecutors who are trying out less harmful coping strategies as a way to deal with their negative emotions!

🥀 Shoutout to persecutors who are learning to apologize after they’ve lashed out at their headmates and are taking steps to form better relationships with their system members!

🏵 Shoutout to persecutors who have recently relapsed, backslid, or fallen back into old habits or harmful coping mechanisms!

❤️‍🩹 Shoutout to persecutors who don’t want to change - you still deserve respect and compassion as you are, no changes necessary!

🔥 Shoutout to persecutors who have dealt with being jailed, isolated, or otherwise cut off from the rest of their system for any reason!

🥀 Shoutout to persecutors who often feel angry, frustrated, anxious, lost, upset, lonely, or depressed!

All persecutors in all systems are deserving of love, happiness, and comfort, with absolutely no exceptions! Regardless of your past, your feelings, how you view the world and how the world views you, if you are a persecutor in your system, we are wishing you the very best. We truly hope you can find hope and recovery if you need it, something joyful to hold on to, and someone in your corner who cares about you as you are now. If nothing else, please know that we care about you and we’re rooting for you!

We know this might be hard, but please do your best to show yourself some patience and kindness today. You exist for a reason, and change takes time and dedication! You are allowed to take things slowly, breathe, and show yourself some grace today. We hope your future is filled with treats, good surprises, comfort, safety, and a sense of belonging! Until then, remember that you belong here, and we are so happy to share this space with you.

#plurality #multiplicity #pluralgang #actuallyplural #system positivity #plural positivity #plural pride #system pride #system persecutor #persecutors #trauma #self harm #suicide

[flagsandtags]

Could you do a flag for a bpd persecutor?

Bpd persecutor

Alters of a system who take on the role of being a persecutor due to the bodies bpd

Flag made by Saturn!! Req by asker

[ENDOS DNI]

Pinterest link

#flags #flag coining #system flags #system terms #alter roles #alter terms #system things #system stuff #plural system #system #did system #dissociative system #sysblr #system community #traumagenic system #did flag #did stuff #did alter #did #did osdd #cdd system #complex dissociative disorder #bpd #borderline personality disorder #bpd holder #persecutor #system persecutor #endo dni #anti endo #system roles

[persecutor-bites]

Persecutors do not need to become protectors to “redeem” themselves

Ignoring persecutors unmet needs redirecting their rage towards externals (those outside your system) does not fix anything, if anything it just makes it worse. Persecutors are people, not angry dogs that you can train to hurt others.

#pro endo #endo safe #actual system persecutor #system persecutor #persecutor #tldr: abusing your persecutors is bad

[foxless]

our most harmful persecutor found her way out of forced dormancy & im quite afraid. last time she was free she inflicted a lot of physical and emotional damage onto our secondary host (former host) that forced us to lock her away. i dont know what to do.

— 🐾 (alexander)

#persecutor #system persecutor #traumagenic system #osddid #did osdd #actually osdd #osdd community #didosdd #did #did alter #actually did #did system #undiagnosed system #assault mention

[redacted-coiner]

Host, Admin(link), Co-Host

Soother(link), Caregiver(link), Comforter(link)

Protector(link), Gatekeeper(link), Persecutor(link)

Some system roles!

DNI is listed within my pinned post. Please go read it before interacting with any part of my content. Ask to tag!

#🎨 post #liom #mogai #liomogai #system #plural #plural system #system host #system admin #system co-host #system soother #system caregiver #system comforter #system protector #system Gatekeeper #system Persecutor #pride emoji #pride emote #pride pixels #pride pixel #system emoji #plural emoji

[anon-asking-for-advice]

Hi. We. Uhm. Need help. Specifically with a persecutor. We’re. Not the best at handling shit on our own. We make enough rash decisions without our friends telling us to force this persecutor into dormancy. So I thought we’d turn to Tumblr for. Advice and input. Before we do anything rash.

This sounds like a reddit post already. Eugh. Bear with us here, I beg of you.

Persecutor [P]

Ex-Host [Ex]

Therapist Alter [TA]

Motherly Alter [MA]

Caregiver [CG]

Protector [PRO]

[P] has been known for having violent thoughts, puppy guarding [Ex], and even going so far as to harm [TA] after he tried to separate [P] and [Ex].

[P]’s got multiple sources, one being [MA]’s source son and another being the old friend of a [CG].

We admittedly put [P] into dormancy once before, but he recently was triggered out. He was found in front by [MA] and was immediately coddled and protected. [P] apparently sobbed to her that he didn’t want to go back into dormancy. The two were eventually found by [CG].

[MA] was unintentionally/somehow switched out, leaving [CG] and [P] alone together. [P] continued to cry that he didn’t want to be taken away, referring to [CG] by his nickname that only close friends ever called him. [CG], understandably stressed, regressed to a younger state; a state in which he and [P] used to be friends at. [P] then also regressed, begging [CG] to not let anyone force him into dormancy, swearing he wouldn’t hurt anyone again, begging that the rest of us do anything except force him into dormancy.

[PRO] eventually found her way to front and forcefully separated [P] and [CG], threatening to “knock [CG] out and drag him out of front”. This didn’t bode well, as the minute she did, [P] went absolutely ballistic on her. [P] then immediately checked on [CG] before leaving front and getting away before anyone could do anything to him.

Our friends insist [MA] and [CG] were being manipulated and used through their attachments to [P]’s sources. To me, [P] sounded genuinely afraid, though.

I just. Fuck. I can’t fucking tell. I’m exhausted.

I don’t know what to do.

#this feels like an R/amitheasshole #and i wouldnt be upset if this was compared to such #sysblr #system advice #plural system #plurality #pluralgang #plural community #alter vent #forced dormancy #persecutor #persecutor alter #system persecutor #system help

[bstroobery]

Ok so… in response to this poll that I made last night, why is the entire system at fault for what one alter did?

Because if everyone was their own separate person outside of the system, then the blame would be placed on that one person who fucked up.

You wouldn’t go around blaming their friends, family, and entire social group for what they did, right? Or would you?

Because last I checked, the only person responsible for someone’s actions is themself in the end. You can try to sway them, you can manipulate them, you can convince them, but ultimately they have a final say in their actions.

At least that’s what I’ve been taught.

So please enlighten me on why the entire system is at fault for the actions of one alter? I am just trying to learn why so I can try and better myself and keep all of my headmates from being at fault for my own stupid actions. /gen

-⛈️

#⛈️ #system posting #sysblr #asking #genuinely wanting to know #why does everyone in my system need to be held at fault for my mistakes? #system persecutor #dissociative system #actually dissociative #endo safe #actually traumagenic #but endogenic systems are always safe here #plural #actually plural #plural system #genuine question #I’m just trying to understand

[404shcats]

I love you persecutors

I love you persecutors who don’t want to get better

I love you persecutors that have a complicated relationship with recovery

I love you persecutors that feel misunderstood

I love you persecutors that feel like you don’t “deserve” recovery

I love you persecutors that don’t think it will get better

I love you persecutors that want to recover but don’t know how to start

I love you persecutors that are hosts

I love you persecutors with internal trauma

I love you persecutors with exotrauma

I love you persecutors who are introjects

I lover you persecutors who hurt others because you love them

I love you persecutors

#system persecutor #persecutor #endo safe #pluralgang

[non-dys-sys]

You should treat your persecutors better

#pluralgang #system persecutor #I guarantee you the only way to improve your situation is to treat them as people not as problems #-kage

[the-edgy-fuckerz]

Runing on two hours of sleep and pure spite -💊

#traumagenic system #actually traumagenic #did system #persecutor alter #persecutor #system persecutor

[multiplicity-positivity]

Helping Persecutors and Violent Headmates (While Protecting Your System)!

Hello! This post will mostly contain information that we’ve repeated in past responses to asks. We wanted to have a post separate from ask responses with tips, resources, and advice on helping violent headmates while protecting yourself and your system. So here we are! In a question-answer format because that seems to work well for us.

This post got ridiculously long! In order to spare those who aren’t interested in this post, we are putting it under a cut.

Disclaimer: we are just one system, speaking from our own past experiences and what we’ve learned through our own research and therapy. This post shouldn’t be the end-all-be-all for learning how to deal with difficult headmates. Every system is different, so what’s worked for us may not work for you. If you or your system is in danger, please contact a therapist, mental health professional, or your local crisis response unit.

Trigger Warning: This post mentions trauma, abuse, suicide, homicide, involuntary isolation or “jailing” headmates, and other potentially triggering topics!

What is a persecutor?

A persecutor is a system member who regularly causes intentional harm to themself, their system’s body, or their headmates. A headmate who causes harm occasionally isn’t necessarily a system persecutor. You can learn more about persecutors through Pluralpedia (<- link).

Why is my headmate angry, mean, spiteful, or violent all the time?

There could be many reasons why a headmate is regularly hateful or violent. Some common reasons might be:

- They are traumatized and are either acting out past traumas, processing their trauma in unhealthy ways by taking out their negative emotions on others, or formed to fill the role of a past abuser.

- They have unmet needs which cause them to often feel angry, upset, and unfulfilled. They may have trouble understanding their needs or effectively communicating their needs to the rest of their system.

- They never learned how to properly regulate their emotions, process painful memories, and respond to their emotions in healthy ways. Emotional regulation is a skill that must be practiced - people don’t just automatically know how to regulate their emotions when first encountering them.

And more. Every headmate is different, so there may be some unique reason why your system has a headmate who regularly incites violence, causes drama and internal strife, and otherwise lashes out at the rest of their system.

How can I help my angry, mean, or hateful headmates?

There’s lots of things you can do to help your headmate! Try to choose things that sound helpful for your specific situation. Some options for things you can do to help your headmate are:

Talk to them!

Try asking your headmate if there’s anything they want to talk about. Let them know what kind of effect their actions have had on the rest of your system. There’s a lot of questions you might ask that might help you and your headmate find common ground. Here are some examples (text copied from previous response):

- What does treating the rest of us unkindly achieve for you?

- Sometimes people act harsh or mean because they’re afraid. Is there something that’s scaring you?

- What are your needs? Do you feel like they’re not being met?

- Why don’t you want to work together so the whole system can feel safe? Is there something hindering you in our system? Can we work together to figure something out that works for everyone?

- Sometimes it’s necessary to do things you don’t want to do if it will help the system and benefit us all. Is there anything you would be willing to try and do differently?

When having these conversations with your headmate, please try to be gentle and to approach them from a place of kindness. Acting accusatory or growing heated may cause them to get defensive, so it’s important to try and handle these conversations in a calm state of mind, if possible. Your headmate might be unwilling to have a conversation with you initially, but with time and diligence, maybe they’ll come around!

Provide an outlet!

If a headmate is dealing with lots of painful emotions and doesn’t have a proper way to vent or express themself, they may end up taking their emotions out on other members of their system. So having a notebook, journal, sketchbook, blog, or digital space that’s just for them could be immensely healing and beneficial! This outlet should belong solely to this headmate and no one else - it’s important for the rest of your system to respect your headmate’s right to privacy. If they feel like they have an outlet for their emotions that’s truly their own, it might help them feel less inclined to lash out at other system members.

You can also help them release energy in nonviolent ways by getting a stress ball or punching bag, finding some sort of physical activity that they might enjoy, or helping them create a playlist of energetic or cathartic music to listen to. Get creative and collaborate with your system to figure out what outlets will work best for your headmate!

Encourage them to come to therapy!

If your system is in therapy, it would be a great idea to gently encourage this headmate to attend a session in the future. You can talk to them about what therapy is like beforehand, and ask your therapist for advice on how best to connect with this headmate. Maybe you could ask your headmate to write a letter to your therapist, or to write down a list of questions for your therapist, if that might be easier for them than actually showing up to a session! Your headmate might be unwilling to participate or try and connect with your therapist, but it’s worth a shot to at least offer them the opportunity to do so, and to remind them that they can change their mind and come to therapy at any time.

Help them feel loved and included!

It would probably be a great idea to go out of your way to make sure your headmate can see that their system loves them and wants to take care of them, regardless of their behavior! It may be hard for your whole system to get on the same page here, but even if just one or two headmates can commit to showing your violent headmate they care, it’s possible to make a difference! You can try and accomplish this by:

- Trying to include this headmate in internal discussions and conversations/asking their opinion before doing things that will affect the body or the whole system

- Paying attention to what this headmate likes and getting them small gifts occasionally

- Letting this headmate know when you see something positive that made you think of them

- Compliment them! Tell them you love them! Remind them that they are a cherished member of your system just the way they are!

Teach your whole system grounding techniques and emotional regulation!

Even if this headmate has no interest in learning new things or having positive interactions with the rest of your system, if the rest of y’all commit to learning grounding techniques and picking up emotional regulation skills, some of that information may rub off on this headmate. If your system is in therapy, it would be a great idea to ask your therapist about developing coping techniques for grounding and emotional regulation. We can also recommend the DBT Skills Workbook (<- Amazon link), which has been very helpful for our own system!

How can I protect myself and my system when my headmate is acting dangerous?

Acting nice and showing compassion won’t always be enough to protect yourself and your system. While your headmate may have good intentions, be reacting due to trauma or overwhelming emotions, or may not understand the full extent of how their actions affect others, that doesn’t mean you have to let them treat you and your system poorly! When your headmate is lashing out at you or someone else in your system, here are some things you can do to protect yourself.

- Communicate with your headmate and let them know how their actions are affecting your system. They may genuinely be unaware of the impact their actions are having on your system. They may have trouble recognizing others’ feelings or empathizing. So having some conversations with them about their actions may be useful!

- Set boundaries and enforce them. The goal is never to control headmates, cut off their agency, or make them feel powerless, no matter how much harm they cause! Doing this can usually cause resentment to build, and can make things more challenging for your system in the long run. We’ll include some articles here, here, and here on setting boundaries and how to enforce them in healthy ways. We’d encourage you to take a look if your system is struggling with setting and enforcing boundaries! The articles linked are for setting boundaries with other people (children, friends, etc.) but much of the advice listed can be beneficial for systems, too!

- Limit access to potentially harmful items. Harm reduction is always the goal here! So if you need to limit your system’s access to potentially harmful or dangerous items (ie, sharp objects, prescription medications, firearms, etc.), we’d encourage you to do that. This way, even if your headmate has the intention to cause physical harm, their efforts may be thwarted due to having limited access to dangerous items. Your system may need to learn how to work around not using these items, or ensure that only one headmate has the ability to access these items when needed.

- Set up a safety plan. Have a conversation with your system to try and figure out warning signs, potential negative triggers, and how to center and ensure your system’s safety in various situations. At what point should you ask someone outside for help? At what point should you have an intervention inside where multiple members voice their concerns with your headmate? At what point should you reach out to a crisis center or go to the emergency room? Every system is different, so talk to your headmates and work together to establish a safety plan that works best for y’all - and don’t be afraid to put your plan into action when the time comes!

In all this, please let your violent headmate know that you need to center your whole system’s safety and well-being. While they may not like some of the decisions your system makes, it’s so important to make sure that your physical safety is not compromised!

When should my system lock up or “jail” my headmate?

Personally, we feel like locking up or “jailing” a headmate functions as an attempt to control a headmate, forcibly taking away their agency and ultimately causing pain and resentment to build up inside. We will NEVER advocate for isolating a particular headmate, and believe that there are always other, better options to utilize instead of potentially traumatizing your headmate by cutting them off from the world and their system.

However, every system is different. If your system has exhausted all other options, use your own discretion when it comes to purposefully isolating violent headmates. Understand though that we will never promote this method, and we truly do feel like it may end up causing more harm than good to the affected headmate and the rest of your system.

What should I do if my headmate threatens serious harm, to take our life, or take the life of someone we know?

Seek outside help. This absolutely is the time to put your safety plan into action and also reach out to someone outside your system for help. This can be a therapist, a trusted friend or loved one, or even a suicide prevention lifeline. We do not recommend dialing 911 or contacting the police, as police are generally known to escalate overwhelming situations and put vulnerable people directly in harm’s way.

It should not be just on you to protect your system or loved ones from a headmate that actively intends to cause long lasting harm to your body or to someone else. Please, if your headmate is making violent, suicidal, or homicidal threats, don’t delay and don’t try to handle this on your own. Get help soon!

We are always available to help find a local crisis stabilization hotline, regardless of your country. So if you’re having trouble figuring out who to call, reach out via DMs and we can help!

Wrapping Up

We know this post got very long, but it’s still not an exhaustive guide on everything you can do to help yourself and your headmates when dealing with angry, hateful, or violent system members. Remember, not everything we’ve said here will be useful for every system! So take what works best for you and create your own plan for helping and connecting with your troubled headmates.

We hope something here will be useful to some of y’all! We’re sorry about the lengthy nature of this post, but if you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for reading! We’re wishing y’all the very best, and hope that soon you can make some progress towards positive change with the persecutors and angry, hateful, or violent headmates in your system. Please try to take care of each other to the best of your abilities, and have a wonderful day!

#persecutor #system persecutor #violence #trauma #suicide #homicide #abuse #long post #system communication

[day-heron]

A post about persecutors and system members that do harm:

Honestly I see a real tendency, in many areas of my life, for people to completely throw out other people who don't treat others well, or even that they just don't like. I completely agree with the idea that system members are like people in general, in that they have complicated reasons for doing bad things. But unfortunately, I think that gets lost when people don't consider people who do (or have done) bad things to have any intrinsic value or place in their community.

I really think that's a major reason people have such a hard time conceiving of persecutors as worthy of compassion. We're conditioned to see other people as disposable parts of our lives and we aren't used to making repairs, at least not in very serious situations. And to some degree sure, don't be friends with people that are mean to you, but we're also lacking critical community engagement skills because this is normalized to such a degree. It's gotten to the point where we're losing the ability to be kind to ourselves and our systems because of it.

#our post #system tag #plurality #plural system #dissociative system #traumagenic system #adaptive system #plural #system persecutor #fully just copy pasted from discord messages we sent ages ago but that’s okay

[persecutor-bites]

Gotta love reading through the system persecutor tag and half the posts are “persecutors are people… but” or “omg yeah my alter is so evil and everyone hates them”. Very fun /sarcasm

#have you ever considered that you could use a separate tag for that? #mayhaps leave the persecutor tag for the actual persecutors #actual system persecutor #system persecutor #persecutor #endo safe

[purrfurnax]

also can everyone PLEASE stop acting like every single persecutor in a system can be gently talked out of doing shitty things and im just not doing something right

#did #osdd 1b #system persecutor #im literally not a therapist and the therapist we have doesnt know them that well and thats another whole problem

[anon-asking-for-advice]

[Persecutor]from the previous posts speaking.

My. Being out of dormancy is causing our friend a great deal of stress. Maybe I should just let myself be forced back into dormancy. Maybe it’d be best. Maybe I should just give up. Accept things as they are. I shouldn’t be here. I’m only causing pain. I will only. Cause. Pain.

[jregsofficialrealaccountnotfake]

Some in the system think my role is to be a persecutor, but in reality, my role is an egg roll. A jregg roll.

#jreg factive #my 💭s #did system #system persecutor