#sure yes the ending was very abrupt and that episode fucked me up a little but that doesn't make it bad hahaha

[bogkeep]

watched berserk (97) on a whim after reading someone's tags on a writing advice post on how to justify Big Fucking Swords in stories. have started reading the manga. there's a lot of triggering visuals to me so i imagine this is what it's like to be lactose intolerant and decide to eat so so so much ice cream

#IM SURE ILL BE FINE... maybe it'll even be good exposure therapy to me #i mean the level of gore is not worse than unsounded #but the art style - while technically rly impressive and good - DOES hit that uncanny valley horror style #and the anime had too low of a budget to animate much more than blood spray ahaha #the anime works SO WELL as a self contained tragedy damn #sure yes the ending was very abrupt and that episode fucked me up a little but that doesn't make it bad hahaha #only thing i knew about berserk beforehand is that there's a guy named guts who has a sword and is super enemies with the most beautiful ma #who's also super mega evil even if he has very pretty hair #thankfully there was another blonde twink for me to imprint on AND he throws knives so this is great #but truly. what if all you knew were to be a sword #what if the only way you knew how to love someone was as a sword #what if your sword decided to be a person after all. to be your equal. to be loved better #WHAT DO YOU MEAN BAD THINGS HAPPEN IN THE BAD THINGS HAPPENING ANIME. #what if your sunken cost is actually a literal mountain of corpses. #haiz reads berserk

[eremiie]

hi PLEASE i neee stoner eren amd stoner reader😩

high off of you

❥ 8k words | nsfw | eren x reader

❥ you’re dragged to a smoke session by your roommate, and you actually enjoy yourself— maybe a little more than you should have; and eren jaeger is to blame.

❥ content: choking, lowkey breeding kink ish, praise kink, slight orgasm denial, overstimulation, drugs (weed)

content.

content is how you were feeling.

you had just gotten done with your shower, your covers were finally draped over your almost bare legs, your laptop was sat in your lap and you had put your hair up to get it out of the way. you were relaxed, you were calm, and you had decided you were gonna finish off your night with an episode of your favorite show, no matter how many times you had saw it.

"c'mon, we're going to get high."

your peaceful vibe was interrupted, and in the most abrupt manner your roommate could muster; he swung the door open not even bothering to knock, leaned against the doorframe and let his eyes survey your slightly mess room before landing on you and giving you the most goofy grin.

"connie, what the fuck?" you frowned and went to pause your show only to realize you hadn't even started it. with a sigh you looked back up at connie with clear irritation written across your face.

"what? don't you want to get high?"

"i just got out of the shower, i'm in bed now," you moved your laptop and threw the covers off of your legs and pointed to your shorts. "i have pajamas on and i was about to watch my show, no i don't want to get high right now." wasn't that the obvious? you couldn't lie, the offer was tempting since you weren't the one paying, and it gave you the opportunity to see your friends again, but the getting ready process had made you shove the offer down.

as if on cue connie seemed to read your mind. "you don't have to get cute or anything. it's literally just our regular smoke circle. just throw on a jacket and let's go."

you groaned and leaned your head back letting your arm drape over your eyes. "didn't we just come from sasha's house earlier this week? who the hell is supplying y'all this fast?" you tried to come up with an excuse to stay home, but connie was clearly one step ahead of you.

"it's not sasha's house it's eren's." the stupid sly grin on his face appeared and he leaned further into your room already knowing he had you trapped. he knew, much like the rest of the friend group about the undying tension between you and eren, but nobody could pinpoint exactly what it was. it wasn't that the two of you necessarily liked each other but you were... friendlier than friendly best friends. eren and you would flirt with each other more often than not and were very hands on. not to mention how excited you'd get when you got to see him, and vice versa.

connie didn't even give you the chance to respond to that comment, your answer was evident just by the way your attention spiked at the mention of eren's name, and the way your body stiffened in the slightest. he shut the door to wait for you and couldn't help but laugh at your feeble attempt of getting out of a session with your circle.

you lost, and you were slightly upset. any other words in your defense were stuck down your throat, and connie was already long down the hall. the only thing you were able to mention was a loud, "and knock next time, dumbass!" before you did as he said, grabbing your jacket and slipping out the door with connie.

that's how you handed up where you were now, at eren's shared apartment with mikasa and armin, although mikasa's car was missing from the parking lot.

"i love the outfit. it's giving me very much... hobo." connie looked you up and down stifling a laugh while the two of you waited at the door after the first ring.

you followed his eyes looking yourself up and down as well. you did look a little silly, black crew socks with crocs over top. you didn't even take it upon yourself to zip up your jacket all the way, the black fabric draping off your shoulder on one side revealing your shoulder only adorned by a single white strap to your cropped tank top. of course the jacket was a little big, covering your sleep shorts slightly. you weren't even sure if the jacket was yours.

"shut the fuck up." you kicked connie with your croc and he hissed, grabbing his shin before being a fool and hopping towards the door some more, spamming the doorbell.

"help! i'm getting abused!" and in that moment you wondered how you managed to share an apartment with the clown.

connie's ringing only stopped when the door flew open, sasha's figure standing there with a small smile. "hey!" her tone was cheery and loud as she grabbed connie's hand pulling him into a dramatic hug before reaching a hand out to you and pulling you into one too. "i missed you guys!"

"sasha we saw you earlier this week." you forced yourself out of her grip with an apologetic smile just in case your gesture came off as rude. connie nodded in agreement and stepped aside already heading towards eren's room. i mean seriously, wouldn't it have made more sense for you not to come if he was that eager to smoke? they could've had more rounds!

"that doesn't mean i couldn't miss you." her hand embraced yours once more and she slammed the door shut, locking it and leading you to the door opened ajar on the other end of the hallway, of course eren's as he always had those red led lights bleeding from underneath the doorway. "connie told me you didn't want to come also, so this is a surprise."

you rolled your eyes. "so he knew i didn't want to come and still asked?"

"well it was worth a shot; and look where it landed you, you're about to be faded." and she wasn't wrong. she finally let go of your hand and opened the door, the bright LEDS hitting you straight on making you squint for a second before your eyes surveyed the room. jean was already chatting with connie on the futon while eren was sat on his bed with a tray in his lap, rolling the blunt.

what you didn't see was the glance he gave you when you first started scanning the room, immediately trying to look focused on rolling the blunt while attempting to hide his boyish grin. you likewise, you bit the inside of your cheeks to stop from smiling at the sight of the pretty boy; his brown locks pulled back into the sloppiest ponytail, and the hairs in the back of his head skimming the black top he wore.

"so she actually came?" jean voiced looking over to you and making his way over to you from his position on the futon to embrace you in a side hug.

"jean boy," you used his nickname to mock him before returning his hug causing him to grimace at you and pull his arm back. you started to laugh and rolled your eyes at his dramatic actions once more. "yes, yes i did come."

"doesn't she look stupid?" connie looked up from his phone at you and jean giggling under his breath. jean took in your appearance and tried not to laugh, a small smirk on his face that was wiped off when you slapped his chest then flipped connie off.

"shut your bald ass up, connie." you retorted.

"i'm growing hair, i keep telling you that!" and the whole room burst into laughter, sasha doubling over because there still wasn't a trace of growth on his head.

"connie, you have no room to talk you are actually stupid." sasha added before going over to sit with the boy after grabbing a bag of chips from the desk next to the open door.

you shut the door behind you and continued to stand awkwardly until eren spoke, "you're laughing but as soon as she takes that jacket off you're gonna try to jump on her, kirchstein." he said with a raise of his eyebrow before letting his eyes wander over your frame.

now you were really trying to hide your smile, and you cursed yourself when one graced your face anyways. "eren," you dragged out his name walking over to him on his bed before plopping yourself down and resting your head on his shoulder. "get me away from these idiots." you faked a sigh before eren chuckled and gave you a side hug much like jean’s before continuing to roll his blunt.

"damn jaeger, you were so quiet i forgot you were here." connie said, not looking up from his phone that sasha peered over as well.

"and stop making slick jokes and hurry up with the blunt." jean huffed scooting off the futon and resting his head on his palm. "i'm tryna smoke."

you watched eren look down at jean with a negative expression before continuing to roll, and you watched intently loving the way he looked while he did it. the way he let his tongue slide over the gutted blunt was enticing  and you looked from your position on his shoulder.

he let his eyes drift over to you without moving his head and then he placed the blunt on the tray grabbing the grinder and holding it out in front of you. "you wanna grind it for me?" he asked with a small smile and it caught you off guard. you took a minute to process what he said before you grabbed the grinder and let it come apart in two.

"i mean, i guess." he slid the tray over to your lap and did that chuckle again.

"do you even know how? i bet you've always had someone roll for you, huh?"

you couldn't help but break out into another smile, this one out of slight embarrassment before you bumped his shoulder playfully and setting down the grinder on the tray. "bye... i've only rolled once."

"she doesn't know how, and plus just earlier she asked me who our supplier was. even sasha knows that!" connie looked over and you met his eyes with a glare, a deadpanned expression crossing your face and the group broke into laughter again besides you.

"connie i'm gonna fuck you up." you muttered. your mood shifted once more though when eren began placing the weed into the grinder and closed the lid handing it to you.

"work some magic, babe." you were really trying not to show how excited you were, butterflies flapping their wings and flapping them hard in your stomach, especially at the nickname. you began twisting the small container and eren's calloused hands stopped yours from grinding too much. "that's good, that's good." he took it from your hands then pulled the tray over. "i got it from here."

"yeah cause she's gonna fuck it up." jean laughed and connie joined in his eccentric laugh filling the air as well causing you to groan.

"can y'all shut up? damn. you can't roll either jean."

ooohh's from connie and sasha bounced around the room and jean looked up at you amusement dancing in his eyes. "better than you."

"at least i look good while doing it." you sassed playfully while moving invisible hair behind you ear. you could've sworn eren nodded his head from next to you, and those dumb butterflies in your stomach began moving again.

"got that right." jean snapped back just as quick a flirtatious tone to his voice that caught you off guard and you raised an eyebrow at the sudden demeanor. eren looked up for a split second before glancing at you again, his eyebrows furrowed in... confusion maybe?

"weren't you just making fun of me earlier?"

"chill, we were just playing around, girl." jean responded with a shit eating grin before forming a heart with his hand and pouting at you.

"you better stop for eren gets on your ass, you know that's his girl." connie scrunched up his nose then looks towards you and eren for a reaction that he succeeded in getting. both you and eren looking up at him; eren's eyes holding more of a curious stare and yours more threatening. eren continued sealing the blunt soon after seemingly unfazed by connie's comment.

sasha gasped and widened her eyes at you. "stop! you know they don't date." she winked at you and wiggled her eyebrows and you pretended not to see her.

"yeah, they don't even date." jean added on, wondering how the conversation flipped from you to your relationship with eren so fast. it was annoying to him in the least, the group constantly commented on how you and eren should just get together and were clearly not just best friends, but the two of you seemed to haven't taken action yet.

"might as well." connie shrugged his shoulder. "anyways, jaeger finished rolling, let's get high." connie sat up, sasha lifting her head off of his arm as he did so and clasped her hands clearly ready to hit the blunt much like everyone else.

"you want the first hit?" eren rolled the blunt between his fingertips while letting the flame singe the end looking at you with those jaded green eyes, flecks of blue dashing across them in a way that made your heart melt.

"she gets the first hit too?" connie exclaimed staring at you and eren with a bored look on his face.

"who rolled the blunt?" eren asked raising an eyebrow at connie before letting his tongue run over his bottom lip and lifting the blunt from the lighter to watch the smoke float into the air, and ugh did he look good. when connie didn't answer he answered for him, "i rolled it, i choose who goes first."

"plus shes low key a newbie, this is what? her third session with us?" sasha chimed in grabbing the pillow that connie was laying on previous and rolling onto her stomach on the floor in front of the futon.

you pursed your lips before grabbing the blunt from eren, not even noticing that his arm was placed behind you until he rubbed your side in slight encouragement, his warm smile aimed at you. you put the brown wrap to your lips and inhaled the smoke, the gas irritating your airway causing you to let out a cough you tried to hold back.

eren began to laugh at you as you broke out into a fit of coughs, your throat attempting to clear up for you, and the worse the coughs got the more of your friends started to laugh, the only thing you could do was stick your middle finger up while sasha crawled to the same desk near the door to grab you her water bottle.

"i'm crying!" sasha laughed as she rolled the bottle over to the foot of eren's bed. eren's laughs died down too after he hit the blunt and then bending down to pick it up for you, untwisting the cap and passing the drug towards connie.

"woah, chill." he said before blowing the smoke from his mouth in your face causing you to suppress more coughs and fan it away. he tilted the water bottle to your lips and you let it swim down your throat, relishing in the sweet gesture from the boy next to you.

"eren," you mumbled his name taking the water bottle from his hand. you didn't get time to finish your sentence before his door opened revealing armin standing there in his pajama pants and sweatshirt.

all gazes turned towards him as he scanned eren's room growing accustomed to the new faces and scenery. "hi." he mumbled rubbing his eyes. "when did you guys get here?"

"did you just wake up?" eren asked slight concern lacing his face.

"yeah... i heard laughing. don't forget we share a wall." armin gestured towards the wall in which eren's futon laid against.

"i didn't even know you were here. i didn't see mikasa's car so i thought both of y'all just dipped." connie passed the blunt to sasha and fanned the air of the smoke letting the rest disperse after speaking.

"mikasa is at the library. she can't stand the smell of smoke and how loud you all are. i don't blame her." armin chuckled before walking over towards sasha who hit the blunt and gave it to armin's outstretched hand.

"armin you smoke?" you couldn't help but ask, the last two smoke sessions you went to with connie, armin wasn't there. as a matter of fact you never saw much of him because he excelled above you by some and the two of you didn't share any classes, yet you definitely knew him through eren.

"everybody hear smokes except for you." sasha said hoping her words would coerce you to come to join the smoke circle more indefinitely, not just pass by a few times here and there.

armin let the smoke inhale his lungs then removed the blunt from his soft lips. "i smoke with eren sometimes. not usually with all of you guys but... sometimes?" his response came more like a question than an answer as he bent down to give the blunt to jean.

"let armin hit it a couple times." eren used his head to motion the blunt in jean's hand to armin and armin nodded in agreement.

"yeah, i'm about to go back to my room anyways." armin took the blunt back holding it between his lips while leaning against the doorframe.

"why aren't you staying?" sasha pondered sitting up and cradling her pillow to her chest. armin took one last hit then walked over passing it to you which you accepted with a kind nod.

"i should be studying with mikasa but i fell asleep. i have a test tomorrow, eren does too."

"so eren's here getting high and he has a test tomorrow?" you give eren a playful disappointed glance that lasted a little longer than it should've. he met your eyes and then let his drop down to your lips before breaking out into a smile and leaning forward, burying his head into your neck. his chain dangled almost touching your lap and you felt the strands of his hair brush against your chin causing you to twitch at the tickling feel while inhaling the smoke from the blunt. when your hand dropped down to your lap he replaced your hand with his and put the wrap in his mouth while nuzzling into you.

"mikasa made me study with her for like a week straight, i'll be fine." he whined. you let a sigh leave you and found yourself stroking the hair on eren's nape while fiddling with the clasp of his gold chain adorning his neck. the smell of his cologne was mixing in with the weed, but yet that woody pine still overpowered the plant and you couldn't help but rest your head on top of his in efforts to get closer to the source of the fragrance.

"i still don't understand why the two of you haven't gotten together." armin announced eyes flickering back and forth between you and his roommate.

sasha flailed her arms out and her expression was relieved, although her eyes went wide and her eyebrows went up, "that's what i been trying to say! they already act like they date." armin nodded his head agreeing with her.

"we don't like each other, we're just friends i don't know why you all say that." you said a little too quickly, eren pulling away from your neck finally and giving you a once-over. you missed the warmth he brought but then turned your head back towards armin.

"yeah, yeah." he giggled rolling his eyes. "okay well goodnight." eren stood up and passed the blunt to armin who took one last hit then handed it back to sasha, then the rest of the room murmured a goodnight to the blonde relaxing in silence for a minute after his leave.

eren took it upon himself to scoot back on his bed until his back was hitting the wall once he sat back down, using his hand to beckon you to follow him. "c'mere." and you obliged until you were next to him, shoulders touching.

jean looked over to connie and sasha, connie still scrolling through his phone aimlessly giggling at his home screen for whatever reason and sasha looking up at the ceiling on her back now, bag of chips on top of her stomach as she got lost in her thoughts.

"remember when we used to like each other?" jean took it upon himself to abruptly reminisce on the past in the presence of his friends. he took a hit of the blunt thats length was beginning to falter, it on the verge of becoming a roach. he leaned over and passed it on to you, eyes trained on yours, completely ignoring eren's gaze

you furrowed yourself eyebrows trying to recall the time once you figured jean was talking to you, his stare telling, which you actually could. "...oh yeah, last year. i guess i did."

eren pulled one of your legs overtop of his and let his hand settle onto your thigh.

sasha's head perked up at the sudden conversation. "oh my gosh... you did like jean for a little bit. you used to gush over him-"

"sasha! i know, i know, but that was last year."

"i wonder why we didn't get together if we both liked each other, hm." jean looked upwards and tapped his chin in almost a mocking manner. "we used to hang out a lot actually now that i think about it, me, you, sasha and connie."

connie let out another burst of laughter and let his phone to drop to his chest. "yeah, remember that one time we got kicked out of the library because sasha got caught eating like four times and she wouldn't stop after that lady told her to?"

you chortled and sasha's mouth dropped open. "i don't even remember that, i thought you got kicked out because you wouldn't stop fucking laughing and that same lady told you to shut up like seven times!" and more laughter erupted from the ones who were there that day.

you passed the blunt to eren for the umpteenth time watching him take a quick drag then beckon to sasha to grab it as he didn't want to get up. "you both got kicked out, those were two different days." you shook your head at your friends antics and looked up at eren. "they're so dumb."

eren returned your stare and only then did you notice the way his eyes were half lidded, you were sure red was rimming them even though you couldn't really tell because of the red emitting from the lights in the room. he squinted at you and scrunched up his nose. "you look high." he ignored your last sentence wanting to stray away from the conversation he was barely apart of.

"i am high, stupid."

a small 'hmph' came from the back of his throat and it happened again, his eyes dropping to your lips causing him to lick his before he brought those same eyes back up to yours. you could've kept getting lost in them if you didn't jolt at the sound of jean clearing his throat and holding the blunt out to you.

you leaned over to grab it once more. "careful, it's a roach. don't burn yourself." he warned you, so you pinched it between your pointer finger and thumb and started to put it up to your lips but eren grabbed your wrist.

"wanna try something?" he asked you, plucking the faltering blunt from your hands and using the lighter beside him to fire it up a bit more. "wanna shotgun it?"

you had to trace back where you hear those words again... like a shotgun when you get to sit in the passengers seat? no, that wasn't it... you couldn't recall, but by the way sasha widened her eyes for the several time that night, the way connie's mouth dropped into an 'O', and the way jean's features were exasperated, him looking down to the bright light of his screen, you could only wonder eren's intentions.

he didn't even wait for a response from you, pulling through with his actions anyways. "inhale slowly, okay?" he inhaled as much smoke from the blunt storing it in his cheeks, the skin expanding from the inside and then leaned over his face mere inches from yours. he grabbed your chin with his fingers and you opened your mouth slightly watching as he opened his and let the smoke pour out of his tinted lips. you followed his instructions; inhaling very slowly hoping the moment could last a little longer, both of you staring at the transition of the smoke from one mouth to the other.

eren glanced to the side for a second to see if the others were watching, mainly searching for one pair of eyes. you saw his upper lip curl upwards slightly and you inched forward a little more subconsciously. eren watched the smoke grow thinner and felt the way your hands grabbed at his shirt tightly. he watched your eyes flutter and felt your noses brush together.

eren watched both of you lean in a little more until your lips brushed and came together, and felt the fireworks go off in both of your bodies, electric like sparks getting sent through his.

he ignored the gasps and groans of your friends and instead focused on the gasp that left your lips when they first connected with his, and the groan you elicited from him, lips meeting so fervently. he couldn't admit it until today but he wanted your lips on his so bad, your body on his so bad. he was so infatuated with you and the two of you being around each other majority of the time didn't help. he could only reminisce in the little touches and flirtatious gestures you passed back and forth on a regular day and use that to fuel his thoughts at night.

"eren," you mumbled against his lips your voice coming out like a whimper that went straight to his dick, causing him to wrap his arms around your body and pull you into his lap letting your legs swing over either side of him. eren didn't forget about the guests in the room, and as much as wanted to put on a little show in spite of jean, he pointed towards the door snapping his fingers twice.

"five dollars that they fuck?" sasha nudged connie's shoulder as they stood up and walked towards the door while she rolled up her chip bag bringing it with her. jean's figure was already halfway out the door, slamming it hard and making his way to the living room with the other two following.

"hell no, you're gonna owe me five dollars instead. i'm betting that they fuck."

"no, cause you know they're going to that's why i said the bet first, peanut head." sasha stuck her tongue out at connie and he shoved her out the door closing it softer than jean.

he kisses you even harder just basking in the feeling of your smooth lips against his slightly chapped ones, lips working in synchronization like they were made for each other and he felt so needy. his hands roamed your hips and waist, going underneath the jacket now hanging off your shoulders and feeling the bare skin of your stomach. your skin was so hot underneath his hand, just like the air surrounding the two of you.

you ground down into his lap and he hissed stilling your hips at the feeling, his mouth dropping into a circular shape, his eyebrows pointing up until a sigh left his lips once yours disconnected from his. you studied his face; his eyebrows scrunched up in lust and his lips parted slightly already missing the feeling of your lips. his nails dug into your hips as if you would run for whatever reason.

"_____... fuck." his tone was low and light and he leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to your cheek, his skin warm on yours. "you're so pretty,"

your face grew hotter than it already was and you leaned your forehead against his while your arms draped around his neck. "thank you,"

"i want you."

you closed your eyes and relished in his grip that became impossibly tight on your hips. "i want you too-"

"i wanna fuck you... i wanna feel you." eren's eyes fluttered shut as well, his forehead moving from yours to the crevice of your neck, planting his lips and nibbling on the thin skin. your breath hitched and your hold on his neck tightened. "i wanna have you."

"i'm right here, eren."

he held back a moan at how gentle and soft your voice was when you said those words, but you caught on and wanted to actually get one out of him. you wanted to pleasure him, you wanted him to shudder because of you, and you wanted your name to leave his lips like a song; but he wanted the same from you.

he was high, and high, and high off of you.

"lay down."

eren obliged with a smug smile, turning himself to the side while steadying you on his lap until his head hit the pillow, his flyaways bouncing to the sides of his face. "c'mere." just like earlier you listened to his words and leaned down so he could press his full lips against yours. his hands cradled either side of your face as you rutted your hips against him and swallowed his groans. his tongue swiped against your bottom lip and his teeth pulled at it as well until you gave him entrance to slip his tongue inside your mouth. you moaned at the feeling of your tongues colliding and dancing around each other even though both of your mouths were somewhat dry from the earlier smoke session, it still felt all good.

you felt fuzzy and your body felt like it was melting into his. when you pulled back for air eren gave you that same smile he gave you earlier, and you moved your kisses down his neck. once you reached the crevice between his shoulder and neck you moved his chain aside and licked at the spot, the feeling of your warm tongue against the shy skin causing eren to hold you a little tighter. you nibbled at the pretty skin and wondered if the mark you proceeded to leave would even be visible under the gleaming red lights.

"i don't know why you're trying to give me a hickey, they already know we're fucking." eren taunted letting his hands travel up your spine until they reached your neck, smoothing his fingers over it. you bit down on the mark as a way to punish eren for his comment then kissed it, finally pulling back.

"shut up."

eren let out a low laugh, and his low eyes raked over your figure with his lip trapped between his teeth. "when did you get my jacket?" he raised and eyebrow and began to remove the fabric that was resting at your elbows after unzipping it the rest of the way to reveal your top.

oh, so it was his jacket. you let out a laugh at your idiocy; you knew it was a couple sizes too big. "you look cute in it, but i want to see you now." he threw the fabric off of his bed and let his warm hands travel up until they cupped your breasts, your back arching in the least. his thumbs ran over your nipples, the feeling making you clench on top of eren. "like this," he pulled them hem of the white top up until you lifted your arms, now only left in your shorts and socks. he didn't even question the fact that you weren't wearing a bra. "shit..." he pushed you down until he could latch onto on of your breasts his tongue swirling around your nipple and you let the tingling feeling go down your spine until he popped off. eren begins to remove his shirt swiftly throwing it somewhere near his jacket.

you make work of your position on top of eren, scooting down on his legs and pecking his chest, abs, then v-line until your head was leveled with his dick. he stared down at you with a look of sultry while your hands worked to pull down his sweatpants. his hips lifted to help you out and you palmed at him with your hand watching him throw his head back when such a simple gesture relieved some of the tension he was feeling.

your mouth connected with his dick through the fabric, feeling for his tip that rested on his thigh and smirking against it when he hissed, hand flying to your ponytail that you threw up earlier that evening. "fuck, don't tease me like that baby."

"i wanna take my time with you." a pout formed on your face and your hands made their way to his waistband, the elastic material detailed with 'calvin klein' circling his hips.

eren's hands grabbed your jaw forcing you to look up at him before you could pull down his boxers. "and i want to fuck you... make you feel good."

your stomach twisted and even though you were just trying to do the same you couldn't help but rush pulling down the brunette's briefs until his cock slapped against his lower abdomen, your pussy squeezing around nothing at the view. his tip red and leaking and you knew that it'd be heavy on your tongue.

"eren..." he watched the way you eyed his aching dick, and he took it in his hands rubbing himself up and down with his hand while basking in your expression.

"hm?" you didn't even know what you wanted to say, you were just mesmerized and wasted no time prying his hands away to replace them with your own. your nimble fingertips ran over his tip to gather his precum and slide it over his length and he twitched, no, his dick twitched, and his fists clenched in anticipation for your hot mouth on him.

he decided to be courageous, to look down and try to watch you without spilling over himself too fast, i mean could you blame him if he did? your hands, the feeling of you over him, the way you would feel around him... he'd had wanted this forever and now it was in front of him.

in a way, he wanted to ruin you, not let this moment go in fear it wouldn't happen again.

so you finally attached your lips to his throbbing member, and he sucked in a breath hand trying to choose between flying to your head or to keep his hands to his self for now, but he chose the former his fist keeping a grip on your locks while you began to bob your head up and down. small sounds of pleasure left him and his eyes closed again, him trying to focus on not fucking your pretty throat so early in. he just wanted you and him to be one in every sense for as long as possible.

a mantra of 'yes,' and 'fuck,' left eren's mouth while your worked around him slicking him up and drawing lines up and down his cock with your tongue watching his reactions for a particular sensitive spot he might have; and you found it.

you went back up to his tip kissing it gently before letting the heat of your tongue slide down a vein on the side of his dick. "_____," eren moaned lifting his hips although he wasn't engulfed in your mouth. "i need it, shit, i need your mouth."

you giggled and placed his heavy dick back where he liked it for now. you felt it brush against your throat and you wondered if you could go any farther, sucking fervently and coming back up to spit on his head, adding more slick to him. when you went back down eren couldn't help it, he had felt when his tip touched your throat earlier and he most definitely wanted to feel that again.

his grip on your hair tightened when your swollen lips were wrapped around him again. he pushed your head down a little bit causing your hands to put more pressure on his thighs. eren opened his eyes to stare at you again, your mouth stretched out so lewdly over his cock, saliva starting to slide down his length from your mouth and your eyes shut as you tried to focusing on breathing. this only encouraged him further.

"i know you can take more, c'mon, go a little further." he said in a tone near a whisper while he lift his hips up more so that he could feel that ridge of your throat and hear another gag.

you pushed yourself, letting him take more control and then he felt it again; "mhm, right there baby, right there." he moaned when you whimpered, groaned and gagged, but this only pushed his animalistic fervor and he tried to push you down more but you lifted your head to catch your breath. "fuck, that feels amazing, angel."

you let the praise run over your body and went back down on him seeing how far you could go without his extra nudge then focused some more attention on his tip.

eren could feel the curdle in his lower abdomen but he tried his best to ignore it, letting your work him more. he let you swirl your tongue around him and pepper kisses down his length. he watched you try to deep throat him again and watched the tears spring from your eyes before you came back up, and all of this built up further until he tumbled over the edge spilling white heat into your mouth with a shout.

you were satisfied.

aching for him? yes, but satisfied at your job.

eren's thigh twitched and his eyes screwed shut as you didn't remove yourself from his length yet, cupping his balls and paying attention to his tip, overstimulating him, watching him shudder and gasp under you like you wanted. his dick hardened again while he contemplated whether to remove you from his length or let the over sensitivity go until he had no choice but to stop, and once again he picked the prior. "_____, please i want to be inside you now, wanna fuck you still."

you slipped off of him and crawled forward only now aware of the wet spot on your panties.

eren brought your face towards him kissing you with no hesitance despite him just being in your mouth. he pecked your lips and you smiled as he praised you. "you did so good, so good..." another peck and then his hands trailed down to the shorts you were still wearing, giving your ass a squeeze and spreading them. "but now i want to see that pretty pussy on my dick, yeah?"

you let him slide off your shorts and underwear simultaneously until your slick heat was exposed to him and to the air, feeling it brush over you before eren's hands could. your head fell to his chest feeling the cold metal of his chain underneath you, and your sore jaw parted when you felt his rough fingers gather up your wetness on them, rubbing through your slit. "eren..."

"c'mon, sit baby. we're not done yet; fuck yourself on me." he placed his lips on your the top of your head. "please?"

you picked yourself up and scoot back taking eren's dick in your hand once more. you didn't even care that he didn't have a condom, you trusted him, and you trusted the birth control you were on too.

finally you slipped down onto him and for him it felt like you were sucking him up inch by inch until he bottomed out inside of you. "so fucking tight... you're so wet." he groaned with his hands on your hips and yours on his chest steadying you. it had been awhile since you had been fucked and feeling so full again felt good, the stretch felt good and the slight pain subsided so quickly.

slowly, you guided yourself up and down eren's cock until you could find a good rhythm. your chest bounced above him and your ass clapped together, mixing in with the sound of your slick getting pushed in and out of you. "yeah, like that," eren hummed watching you focused, your pussy squeezing around him and you putting in the efforts to fuck yourself on him for both your pleasure.

eren's hands helped guide your body up and down him, and you leaned forward a little to add some more pressure to your clit. everything felt so good, the way he hit your cervix, the way your bud rubbed against his lower abdomen, you could definitely say this was one of the best fucks you had in a while. eren slapped your ass for encouragement before massaging the same area and relishing in your gasp.

"this feels good... and so much better when you're high." you sighed out while your face contorted in pleasure.

"or is my dick just that good?" eren joked looking up at you after your comment.

"shut it, eren.. and," you leaned forward some more. you were somewhat exhausted from riding already, thighs aching and body shivering from the pleasure. "i’m tired..." you admitted almost shamefully.

"you're tired?" he spoke in the way you would to a child while turning you around so you were on your side. his chest was against your back, the cold gold material resting between your shoulder blades and your ass snug against him. he lifted your leg and held it up while you guided him back inside of you until he was buried deep once again, this angle hitting even better.

"i got you," eren murmured against your neck while starting his pace slow. his hand trailed up to your neck and he gave it a light squeeze while pushing you further against him. he loved the way your ass bounced against his lower stomach when he started going faster, making him speed up his pace. "'m gonna fuck you so good."

you let out a slutty moan at his dirty talk, bringing a hand over to your mouth and shutting your eyes. he found that sweet spot inside of you and you couldn't help but react as well as he hit it over and over again. eren's hand on your throat went up to pull your hand off of your mouth. "don't try to hide that pretty voice, i want to hear you, i want them to hear you. get loud baby."

you were sure he felt the way you clenched around him, suffocating his dick as it slid in and out of you at a steady speed, and this time when you let out a moan you let him hear it, you were loud like he asked and tried to put your leg up even further so he could hit deeper.

"eren, fuck!" you were left pondering why you didn't think about this earlier, why you didn't listen to everybody who told you to get with eren. you could've been getting the best dick you'd gotten in years but both your stubborn, wavering feelings got in the way. "yes, oh my god, yes!" you cried out while eren bucked his hips up into you tightening his grip on your neck.

he turned your head towards him and engaged your lips again swallowing your cries and whimpers as he abused your pussy. your hand shakily made its way down to your clit to give you another push but he was quicker, dropping your leg and grabbing your wrist causing you to yelp. "eren, please."

"beg me." that same fervor from earlier returned. being edged on by your cries and shouts of his name, knowing how good he was fucking you and making you feel was such a turn on. "tell me how you want me, how you want my cum."

your breath was ragged and your leg was aching but you wanted it stretched out again where you could feel it deep. you were on the verge of tears. your hips rutted against eren for any boost, any pressure that you could get you to your high. the hand around your neck only gripped further as you didn't respond yet.

"c'mon, beg me baby."

"eren," his name came out broken, your back leaving his chest as your arched hard. "please fuck me, fuck me... please," he started to move again in the least, after all he was on the verge of cumming as well. "fuck, cum inside me, i want it, please." the sobs that left your mouth were so hot and of course he gave you what you wanted.

he fucked up into you after lifting your leg again and letting the fingers that were choking you slip into your mouth while he kissed and nibbled at your neck, speaking in between, praising you and marking you. his hand slipped from your mouth and he brought his wet fingers down to your clit rubbing for you until you toppled over the edge with a loud cry of his name. your eyes rolled to the back of your head as your cunt gripped him like a vice over and over again as if you were trying to milk him.

"ah, fuck," the way you were squeezing around him caused him to unravel himself, white painting your walls as he filled you up with his cum, shaking himself. "_____," he heaved as the two of you tried to come down from your escapade.

your breathing was beginning to steady again but you could still feel yourself pulsing around him causing him to pull out before it became too much. "eren.." you answered back as your head relaxed against his pillow while you rested in his grip. you felt his lips against your neck again, then stopping at your shoulder blades.

you were blanking out from tiredness, only then did you realize the state you were in, hair in somewhat of a mess, a sheen of sweat covering both of your bare bodies, and marks littering your body. not to mention the cum trying to ooze out of you. you didn't even realize when eren had gotten up until he came back, wiping you clean and only assuming he did himself too. he locked his door on the way back in and slipped his boxers back on, reciprocating on you with your underwear.

you could feel the bed shift, eren crawling in bed beside you after drawing out the covers from underneath both of you and wrapping them around you and him, bringing you against him before you fell back asleep.

༄ ༄ ༄

you woke up to a hand shaking you, your eyes lazily opening.

"wake up, _____."

"eren?"

the pretty boy smiled at you and studied your features as you tried to wake up completely. you were no longer naked, or in the same position you were from last night, now wearing a plain white shirt and your underwear.

"morning, i gotta head to class soon, remember i have a test, or did i-"

"don't finish that sentence." you rolled your eyes as you sat up completely eren laughing at you. you followed his eyes, them resting on your lips like always and you took it upon yourself to lean up and kiss him, this time quite innocently, domestic almost. "sorry, morning breath, but,"

eren this time cut you off with another soft kiss, his cheeks rising from his smile as he pulled you closer to him.

you didn't want to talk it out yet, you were somewhat fine with where everything was at now, although you knew your friends and eren wouldn't want to coax a direct answer out of you sooner or later.

but you were content with the way eren kissed you just seconds ago, content with his jacket and sweats you had to wear, you were content with having to use spare bathroom products at his house, you were content with the wave armin and mikasa gave you out the door, content with the walk you and eren shared to the college, content with the last kiss he gave you before his class.

content is how you were feeling.

content.

#eren jaeger x reader #eren x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren jaeger #attack on titan #eren jaeger smut

[havenoffandoms]

72 for Geralt/Jaskier?

I meant to post this a lot earlier... sorry about the wait, nonnie. I hope you like it anyway. I'm not sure how it came out in the end after I agonised over this for the past couple of days, but it was fun going back to my Geraskier roots.

Masterlist

Pairing: Geralt x Jaskier

Prompt 72: Character A has a secret. Character B does whatever they can to find out what it is. When they find out, they wish they hadn't.

Warnings: brief angsty episode, mention of Geralt's traumatic childhood

Also, I love that art! Holy Shit!? So of course this had to feature before the fic <3

Travelling with Jaskier had its downfalls.

For one, the bard talks a lot. He never stops, not even in his sleep, and that would drive any man insane if you ask Geralt. He listens to Jaskier waffling about poetry all day, every day, he doesn’t have to endure a lecture on the benefits of iambic pentameters when he’s trying to fall asleep, thank you very much. Jaskier also likes to complain about every little thing that causes him discomfort, which when they’re on the path, ranges from fly bites all the way to sore feet. Travelling with a human also means that they travel considerably slower, unless they’re both riding on top of Roach, but Geralt doesn’t like putting his best girl under that kind of strain very often.

For all of Jaskier’s flaws, Geralt would hate to have to separate from his bard. At least, when Jaskier is close by, Geralt can keep an eye on him and make sure Jaskier doesn’t get himself into any unnecessary trouble. Having Jaskier travel with him gives Geralt peace of mind. He appreciates the singing as well, even if he could stand to tell Jaskier this a bit more often. Geralt deems that his bard’s ego is plenty inflated without Geralt making it worse. Not to mention that life always seems a little bit brighter when Jaskier is around, and the nights are a little less lonely as Geralt gets to pull his bard close and fall asleep to the sound of his beating heart. Knowing that Jaskier is safe is the only thing that lets Geralt sleep peacefully at night.

You’d think that after nearly two decades of knowing his bard, Geralt would have figured out Jaskier’s secret by now. Geralt is, of course, referring to Jaskier’s near supernatural ability to always come up with coin when he and Geralt need it most urgently. Geralt has no idea how the bard does it - his songs are popular, granted, and on a good night Jaskier makes enough to buy a nice room for the night and the better pieces of meat from the kitchen. Still, being a bard doesn’t pay that well, not even if you were as famous as Jaskier. Just last week, Geralt’s horse and most of his belonging were stolen by bandits, leaving Geralt travelling on foot and too poor to afford to buy a new horse. Two days later, Jaskier came trotting up to their camp atop a gorgeous mare, looking mighty pleased with himself but refusing to tell Geralt how he managed to afford to pay for the horse.

“Would you believe me if I told you I stole her, Geralt, my dear?”

“Not in a million years,” Geralt admitted deadpan, pulling an offended squawk from his songbird.

“Just because I’m a bard you don’t think I can steal a horse?”

“I don’t think you could ever steal a horse because you’re as stealthy as the proverbial bull in the porcelain shop.”

It’s not just the horse, though. Geralt’s armour needed replacing and good armour doesn’’t come cheaply. Geralt doesn’t hire the services of just any blacksmith or armourer to craft his weapons and protective gear. He has his regular suppliers, the ones he always goes back to because he knows that their work is reliable and of the highest quality. And even though these people know Geralt by now, even offer him a friends and family discount on occasion, their wares still come at a hefty price. Geralt, as it turns out, didn’t have the coin to replace his armour for a few months. He desperately needed new boots, though. A new pair of breeches wouldn’t hurt either, and his silver sword broke in half whilst fighting a particularly vicious griffin a few weeks back.

Geralt didn’t even mention all of this to Jaskier. That didn’t stop the bard from going ahead and commissioning a brand new suit of armour, new silver and steel swords, as well as a few casual clothes for Geralt to wear on the warmer summer days. All of this must have cost an arm, a leg and a fucking lung, and yet Jaskier acted like he didn’t just break the bank all for Geralt’s benefit. He didn’t even get anything for himself and that realisation had Geralt feeling slightly embarrassed about the gesture.

“You don’t have to buy me all this stuff, Jask.”

“I know that, dearest,” Jaskier assured him, eyes soft and an easy smile playing on his lips, “but I wanted to. Only the best for you, my sweet witcher.”

The mystery of where Jaskier managed to find the coin to pay for all this remains unsolved, despite Geralt’s questioning. Well, if Jaskier won’t outright tell him, then Geralt will just have to investigate the matter by himself.

"Where the fuck did you get your hand on all the coin to pay for all this?" Geralt asks one evening, blunt and straight to the point. There was probably a kinder and gentler way to ask this, but after spending weeks mulling over Jaskier's sudden new-found fortune, Geralt has lost the little patience he possessed in the matter. Jaskier, on the other hand, looks perfectly unperturbed.

"From the bank," he offers simply as he sprinkles expensive herbs over the hare Geralt caught earlier that evening, "you know, where people deposit their valuables? I know you witchers don't believe in bank accounts, savings and interests, but-"

"Where does the coin come from?" Geralt interrupts, hissing those words through clenched teeth.

"Why, my inheritance."

Geralt stares for a long while. It takes his brain several seconds to catch up to what Jaskier is telling him, and another few seconds to make sense of the words. Inheritance?

"What inheritance?"

"Well, when my father passed away he left me and my siblings a share of his wealth. That's how inheritance works. Say, pass me my satchel my dear, I think I have some more spices in there."

Geralt wordlessly hands Jaskier his satchel, still trying to process this new discovery. Come to think of it, Geralt knows precious little about Jaskier's family. Sure, that's probably on him for never asking, but Geralt has grown so used to Jaskier oversharing every aspect of his life that he never needed to ask his bard anything. Jaskier just… never talked about his family. Or his childhood, or his upbringing. His life story seems to always begin when he was a student at Oxenfurt.

Geralt is growing curiouser by the minute.

"When did your father pass?"

"Oh? Uh… good question. Maybe a few years after I went to Oxenfurt? I'm not sure. I received a letter from the bank notifying me that a share of my father's wealth was deposited in my account."

Geralt frowns. "You never went back to find out what happened?"

"No."

Well, that's an oddly abrupt response, and Jaskier doesn't seem like he's got anything to say on the matter. Which only makes Geralt feel more curious about the whole thing.

"Why not?"

"Geralt…" Jaskier heaves a sigh before putting on a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, too tense to be genuine. "My father and I didn't get along. I felt no need to go mourn him with the rest of my noble family in Lettenhove when he passed. That's it. That's all there's to it. I was not a good enough man to refuse my share of the inheritance, either, despite my non-existent relationship with him."

That's a lot to unpack. Geralt always assumed that Jaskier had a good childhood. Then again, he would think that, wouldn't he, considering Geralt spent his own childhood being tortured by magnanimous and sadistic mages. Where most children got to spend time outside helping out in the fields or playing with their friends, Geralt was put through drill after drill, after drill… until he was physically unable to walk so much his muscles hurt.

"Wait… did you say your noble family?"

"Hm?"

"In Lettenhove… there's nothing in Lettenhove. Only the Viscount and his family live there on a large esta-" Geralt's mouth clicks shut as realisation dawns on him. "Your father was the Viscount of Lettenhove?"

"Yes. And since I'm the oldest, after he died that title passed onto me. But I much prefer being a bard, so I graciously devolved my duties to my younger brother, who now manages the estate. Are we done with this conversation?"

"I didn't mean to make you mad…"

Geralt watches Jaskier stop dead in his tracks, his shoulders briefly tensing at those words, before exhaling loudly through his nose. Jaskier anxiously rubs the back of his neck as he straightens up and offers Geralt a sheepish smile, that one warmer and softer than the previous one.

"Sorry, dear heart. I didn't mean to be so short with you. It's just… well, there's a reason I don't bring up my family all that much."

"Hm." Geralt gently taps the spot next to him on his bedroll, and Jaskier doesn't have to be told twice. Soon, Geralt has one arm wound tightly around Jaskier's shoulders. Not quite a hug, but the intention is there all the same, and Jaskier eagerly melts in the embrace. "I shouldn't have insisted. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise. You did nothing wrong." Jaskier nuzzles the crook of Geralt's neck sweetly before depositing a featherlight kiss just over his pulse point. "Do you want to ask me anything?"

Geralt ponders over that question far too long before whispering an answer in the air pocket between them.

"Did he hurt you?"

Jaskier hesitates.

"Not physically, no. He didn't approve of my aspirations and choices. He didn't support me. I suppose it hurt a little when he didn't see me away to Oxenfurt at the age of 15, but he never raised a hand on me."

"Hm." Good, Geralt thinks. No child should ever have to suffer at the hand of an adult. Geralt earned plenty a beating at Kaer Morhen, some justified and others not so much. Just because he went through this doesn't mean he condones it.

"At least I get to spend his money on someone I love," Jaskier offers softly, eyes as blue as the deepest ocean glancing up at Geralt through dark lashes, “That, at least, the old man can’t take away from me.”

A happy little rumble bubbles up Geralt's chest, despite the blush gracing his cheeks.

"I never thanked you for the gifts." Geralt blushes a deeper shade of red at the realisation. "Sorry. It's been a long year."

"Well, good thing we're heading North soon then, hm?" Jaskier straightens up so he can cradle Geralt's face in his lute-calloused hands. Their eyes meet then, amber seeking out blue, and Geralt thinks that he must be the luckiest son of a bitch in all the Continent.

"Yes," he agrees in a whisper, tilting his face to place a kiss on the inside of Jaskier's wrist, "good thing, indeed."

Request a prompt

#havenwrites #the witcher #wiedzmin #geralt of rivia #geralt z rivii #the witcher geralt #geralt #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #dandelion #geraskier #geralt x jaskier #jaskier x geralt #geralt/jaskier #jaskier/geralt #dandelion x geralt #geralt/dandelion #request open

[keilemlucent]

lavender latte: v

(T (for now!))

hawks | takami keigo x reader

ao3

chapter 1   ||   chapter 2  ||   chapter 3   ||  chapter 4   ||  chapter 6  || 

word count: ~4k

coming to terms now, are we?

warnings: descriptions of medical settings, discussion of surgery and injury but nothing graphic, god fluff, nasty big fluff

——

wow. halfway through y’all. thank you to each and every ONE of you who have given this story a chance. enjoy some fluff and get ready for next week 👀 once again, beta-ed by the wuv @keiqos !!

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Exhaustion had long since clawed a hole in your skull. 

It was one of the many forms of malefactum that came from your fucking quirk, damn it to hell. The days following any sort of intense overstimulation episode of yours were always hellish. Constant fatigue, burning migraines, dry eyes, and confusion always waited for you by the time you rolled out whatever pushed you over the edge.

The villain attack was probably the worst episode you’d had, ever. 

The entire trip to the hospital had been sort of a nightmare. There were so many people that needed treatment after the attack, so many of them worse off than yourself. You were lucky enough to get into a dark hospital room fairly quickly, allowing some of your symptoms to dull. 

You were just coherent and aware enough to deal with everyone you needed to, paperwork and legalities of your visit sorted. You even managed to send a few texts to your parents and work groupchat to confirm that you were safe. 

After a myriad of late-night tests and exams, it was confirmed that the next morning, you’d have a procedure to mend your leg.

...

Fixing the internal damage to your leg caused by the tearing of the glass was a fairly quick affair, according to your kind-smiled surgeon.

“I know it seemed abrupt, to do it so quickly,” The surgeon stuffed her hands in the pocket of her scrubs. “But, we’ve flown in extra medical personnel to help deal with injuries from the attack and well, you’re an easy fix.”

You smiled, the best you could, groggy with the anesthetic, “I’m glad it isn’t too bad.”

“Nope! Not at all,” She laughed, far too pleasant for all the chaos just outside your dimly lit hospital room. “We’ll keep you here tonight, and you should be able to go home tomorrow afternoon. You’ll need to keep weight off of that leg for about three weeks. We’ll have a follow-up appointment then, and make sure you’re healing alright. Sound good?”

You nodded, some tension releasing from your chest.

The procedure left you with a heavy plastic boot, clasped up to your knee. Not to mention your body ached with fatigue. 

Most of the rest of that day was spent spinning in and out of sleep, only waking for basic checks and a delivery of flowers you received from the teashop’s owners complete with a passive-aggressive reminder that ‘this had nothing to do with us, you can’t sue <3.’

 Your constant company was Hawks’s scarlet feather. As you moved through the bends of your quirk and post-surgical recovery, you held onto it like a lifeline. With each stroke of the soft filaments, your heart rate monitor would beep slower and slower towards a relaxed rhythm. 

It made you think of him, and how he felt with your quirk activated. 

Despite how shitty the circumstances were, really feeling Keigo with your quirk was heavenly. Feeling him in general, physically was a fucking blessing. You spent a lot of time that night and first day at the hospital fantasizing about how the beat of his heart felt like amber drops on your tongue and orange-bound warmth in your chest.

You wanted more of it.

 Keigo stayed around to help deal with the mess, for once in his career. It was weird for him to spend the following day after the attack helping out on the scene. It was even weirder for the other Pros around that were aware of his reputation of simply not doing that.

It was out of character for him.

But, then again, Keigo hadn’t ever spent as much time at someplace he enjoyed like the teashop. Hell, the whole street. He’d patrolled plenty of areas for long stretches of time, but he’d never grown attached.

You were, obviously, a big part of that.

Seeing you hurt left him frazzled and fucked, and staying behind to help pick up the mess and provide aid made him feel a hell of a lot better. Sure, it was different, having local Pros look to him for guidance when he had to purely rely on his training from the Commission as opposed to his professional experience. He did well, he knew, especially based on the way the scene calmed even when he simply flew around.

Keigo had the power to bring people ease, even if he struggled with it himself. 

The idea made him think back to you, undoubtedly still in pain, but more than likely entirely fine. He ignored the urge to text you anxiously as he was still parsing over the very sweet interaction the two of you had, even if it was in such a bad circumstance. 

Your sweetness at the end was his constant reminder that you would be okay. 

The implication and Keigo’s knowledge post- ‘the miel incident,’ as he was calling it, was obvious, and god, he wanted to fucking drown in it. The thought of having you so close that he could hear your heartbeat and feel the drum of your voice against your chest made him weak. 

He was so fucking weak for you.

It was distracting, as it always was. It seemed fairly unavoidable especially as anxiety chewed at him. The one thing that lulled him was the far off feeling of the feather he had tucked in your hand. It had to be close to you still, the beat of your heart sending him shudders if he focused on it hard enough.

It became too much, thinking of you.

As his feathers swept piles of rubble, he pulled out his phone, the sun beginning to sink in the evening sky. 

 You had spent most of your recovery time in and out of consciousness, enjoying the time to rest and sleep. 

A short buzz from your phone forced you into a half-wakeful state. You reached to the table next to the hospital bed, grappling for your phone.

 [birdboy]: hey r u alive, 

[birdboy]: how r u feeling

[birdboy]: speak 2 me

 You cracked a sleepy smile. 

 [you]: alive, tired, surgery-ied. 

 You took a quick snap of your booted, propped up foot.

 [you]: getting discharged tomorrow babyyyy

[birdboy]: oh fuck what happened?

[birdboy]: u sure ur good

 The feather against your collarbone twitched, filaments waving. You thought little of it.

 [you]: i tore some shit in my leg

[you]: and yes, just tired as fuck and want to be home

[you]: hospitals SUCK

[birdboy]: true, true

[birdboy]: would u... 

[birdboy]: like a visit perhaps?

[you]: u sure??

[you]: i know ur busy and i dont wanna use up ur freetime

 There was a pause in Keigo’s nearly instant responses.

 [birdboy]: dove.

 Your breath stuttered in your chest. That was newer; you only remembered it vaguely from the . It felt far more intimate than just ‘angel,’ and it made you shiver as you read it.

 [birdboy]: busy schedule??

[birdboy]: i’ll make the time angel

[birdboy]: i’d love to come visit u

 You couldn’t help the smitten expression that burst across your face.

 [you]: and i’d love to see you

 You wished you could’ve continued the conversation, but your night nurse knocked to offer you pain medication and sedatives and you couldn’t say no to more rest. Your mind and body needed it. 

As quickly as it was administered, you were out again. 

 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

 You were exhausted. Still. 

When you heard voices just outside of your door, you couldn’t help cracking open your dry eyes. It seemed far too early for them to collect your vitals. The room was still dark, large windows only showing a trace of the dawn’s light stretching from the east.

Your sleep-addled mind stretched to listen:

“Thank you so much for the autograph! My son is such a huge fan of yours.”

“Oh, really! Tell him I say hi! I really adore my fans.”

Giggling.

“Is she a fan?”

“Sort of, more of a friend of mine.”

 He... said it again.

 A shaft of light sprayed into the room, your quirk firing at the sudden intrusion. You groan, pawing at your eye with your fist, the feather held between your fingers blocking some of the light.

Even with your diminished vision and tired mind, you still caught it when he laughed at your reaction, stepping into the room.

Honey, softness, cream and heat that made your chest thrum like embers.

“H-Hawks?” Your voice was still itchy with sleep. 

“That’s me.” His laugh rolled over you as your quirk receded, palms thrumming with the silkenness of his voice, “It’s good to see you, dove.”

“S’nice to see you too,” Your chest thrummed with his words and you couldn’t restrain the smile that spread across your face, “‘Ya know, you woke me up, just now.”

Hawks gave you a little chuckle, moseying his way to a chair nearby the bed and window, “Sorry about that. I had to sneak in here before official visiting hours so I didn’t cause a ‘scene’.”

You snorted. 

“You, causing a scene?” You asked, raising your eyebrows at him, “Hawks? Never. Not once.”

He stifled a laugh, dragging the thinly-padded chair closer to the bed and leaning back into it, “Glad to see you’re in good spirits, considering you’re still here and all.”

“From what I can tell, it could be a lot worse, especially compared to other people that were there,” The end of your sentence turned sullen, your expression darkening. 

Hawks let out a little sigh, “It wasn’t pretty, that’s for sure. But, you’re safe, and most folks are safe. Bright side.”

“Bright side.” You repeated, softer, looking up from the plain sheets to meet his gaze. 

You took him in, quickly. 

He looked a bit worse for wear, the exhaustion from the days before still visible on his features. The dark circles under his eyes almost looked worse, perhaps uncovered and deeper since the attack. His wings weren’t even visible from your angle, plucked too short and sparse to be of much use. 

But, Hawks was, undoubtedly, still stunning. 

It was almost distracting, how unavoidable mentally eating him up was. You’d felt what he was like during the attack and that had apparently broken some mental dam for you. Holding back just how much you liked him seemed futile, at least mentally. 

You would let yourself be honest, at least with yourself, as a treat. 

What probably also pushed you over the edge was the fact that he wasn’t in his hero uniform, for once. You’d only ever seen him in his tan and black get up before. Seeing him casually dressed was shocking and very hot.

Hawks wore a simple black long sleeve with a long, wool jacket over it, black jeans, nothing seemingly extravagant except for the nicer looking chunky sneakers he wore and the fat gold watch on his wrist. It was all designer, knowing his paycheck. Without all of his normal regalia, you could better see that his pierced ears carried some light yellow stones that played off his eyes.

His feathery golden waves were messy, falling over his forehead and temples. The curves and angles of his jaw looked accented by the rising dawn light that was just beginning to filter into the room. There was the smallest quirk in his plump lips, but it hardly detracted from how stunning he was. 

He was remarkably gorgeous, naturally, and you let yourself think about it freely.

 Keigo felt a bit bad, seeing you in your state. 

He tried to be subtle, looking you up and down, heart-thumping his chest as the feather in your hand-picked up your own pulse. It had sped up when he entered the room, even more so when you started to beam at him despite your state.

You looked like a bit of a mess, and with anyone else, Keigo might’ve indulged himself in being a little bit of sarcastic shit about it, but he didn’t with you. It didn’t seem right. 

Your booted foot was propped up, a hospital gown askew over your collarbones under some thin blankets you were nested underneath. Your dark circles could’ve been worse, but your eyes were shining and alert, all directed on him it made him ache all over in the best way.

 The feather twitched in your hand, your gaze darting to it. Heat spread across your cheeks. 

“Oh, uh, shit,” You stretched your arm to pass the feather back to him. “Here’s this back. Sorry, I’ve kinda been holding on to it... a lot.”

“It’s alright, that’s why I gave it to you,” Hawks assured you, the feather whisking from your hand on its own and back to the downy stubs that Hawks had left. “Just a little reminder that good ol’ Number Two is looking out for you.”

You hardly needed a reminder. Thoughts of Hawks had been filling your head since it had stopped from swirling from your quirk. The thought of him leaving a bit of him with you only warmed your insides. 

“How could I ever forget?” You leaned back into your pillows, releasing a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. “Thank you, Hawks.”

Hawks blinked at you, reaching down to rustle something down by his feet, “For?”

“You know, saving my ass.”

“That’s my job, angel.”

“Still. You thank me every time I make you your drinks, right?” You shrugged at his wide-eyed expression. “Same principle. Except, your life isn’t on the line when I make you lattes.”

“Oh, angel,” Hawks drawled and deflected. “That is a false statement. I rely on those. They’re my lifeblood.”

A little realization dawned on you.

You gave him a sad little smile, rubbing your own knuckles for some semblance of comfort, “It’s gonna be a while until I can provide anything life-giving, then.”

The teashop was destroyed and who knew how long I’d be until they reopened. Not to mention that your leg was post opt and you couldn’t exactly work on it. 

Practicality aside, what saddened you most was that Hawks didn’t have much of a reason to see you without the shop. 

As much as you had feared it at the beginning of your friendship, you had gotten comfortable with Hawks’s presence in the shop and in your life. 

Too comfortable, and now it was biting you in the ass.

Thorns stabbed in your chest.

 Keigo noticed your slow-falling expression and frowned, “What’s on your mind?”

 “It’s nothing, just, uh...” You shook your head, blinking up at him,

Your voice cut off as your gaze refused to settle on him, Keigo clearly seeing your discomfort. 

“Without the teashop, you know...” Then, with that honesty that scared him, you finally met his eyes, gripping the sheets of your hospital bed, “I’m gonna miss seeing you.”

The principle made Keigo’s mind swirl.

You missing him.

His thoughts slipped back to ‘the miel incident’, and your mutual feelings that you very obviously didn’t fucking know about. If you did, he was sure you’d know that he would be missing you a lot without your normal interactions. 

This certainly wasn’t the setting to tell you, you were still stuck with an IV and probably somewhat traumatized by the event, even if you seemed in good spirits.

But, he could help assuage your fears. Subtly. Let himself use his honed arts to comfort rather than connive. 

“Dove, it’s alright,” He gave the softest smile he could, shreds of real vulnerability in it coaxed out by you without you even being aware of it. “Just because the teashop isn’t around right now doesn’t mean I don’t want to see you.”

The stunned expression on your face would’ve been cute if it didn’t make Keigo’s heart stutter painfully in his chest.

 “You... You do?” Your voice was so soft, you surprised yourself.

Hawks was a busy, busy man. Why the fuck would he bother with you? There was no cute coffee shop aesthetic in your foreseeable future. Maybe some decent drinks, but you wouldn’t be very mobile. You had some supplies and gear to make teas and some drinks at your apartment, but nothing as expansive as was destroyed at the shop. If it was flirty banter keeping him near, there were certainly other people he could go to for some natural chemistry, right?

He doesn’t need you.

Why the fuck would he bother with you, outside of what you could offer him?

“Dove,” Hawks’s voice shook you from your thoughts. “I’m here right now, aren’t I?”

“Uh,” You stuttered, mind catching up to the very obvious conclusion that, yes, Hawks does like having you around. “I guess, yeah.”

He frowned, leaning back in his chair as one of his smaller feathers whisked to your forehead, patting it a few times, “(Y/N), I like spending time with you. I care about you.”

Oh.

That was a little more vulnerability and truth than either of you expected.

Your eyes darted up to meet his, seeing a hint of unbearable fear before it was wiped away.

 You didn’t know it, but it was just you that pushed that fear off Keigo’s face.

He forced his shaking hands to be still, mouth drying after saying words that he wasn’t sure he was ready to say yet. God, they were true, but were they okay? For him, or you?

And then you gave him the gooiest, biggest smile you’d ever graced him with, “I care about you too, Hawks. Thank you.”

 It made both of your guts turn to mush.

In a stunned moment of silence, both of your breaths stuck in each of your throats. Neither of you could tear your gazes away from each other.

You both tightened your grip on your respective fabrics, your heart rate monitor beeping faster as you swallowed. 

Hawks opened his mouth, inhaling, but he was quickly interrupted by a knock on the door. A head poked in, the same nurse as before.

“Hey, sweetheart, we need to take your vitals quick,” She came in, waving to Hawks gleefully.

Hawks’s softened eyes were gone, you realized. Torn away from the moment and now speaking comfortably with the nurse as she checked what she needed to.

Your hands shook.

 Keigo noticed it, too, his own trembling as well. 

 The idle chat between Hawks and the nurse fell on your ears, though you didn’t process any of it. You were far too busy mentally coming to terms with the fact that Hawks cared about you. And, based on his tone and that familiar (but usually hidden) adoration in his eyes, it was a bit deeper than you expected and knew how to swallow.

You took a slow breath as the nurse left, Hawks waving with a wide smile plastered on his face.

When the door shut once more, there was a lull of silence that settled over the room. More early morning sunlight was beginning to slant into the room, throwing gold over the otherwise drab and lifeless greys and whites of the room.

The intense mood had been thoroughly interrupted by the nurse, but perhaps it was a hidden blessing. 

Both of you were terrified, but so deeply yearning. You both were a bit too raw. 

Maybe it would be better to let the fear fade, just a bit more. 

 “Oh, shit, I nearly forgot,” Hawks reached down next to him, pulling out a bag you hadn’t realized he had brought him. He set it on the edge of the bed. “I got you something.”

“Hawks.” You groaned, shaking your head and running your hands down your face. “You need to stop being so nice.”

“Can’t do that, (Y/N). I’ll be as nice as I want,” You could see that his grin was shit-eating through the space between your fingers. “Besides, you haven’t even looked at it yet.”

You took the bag into your lap, noticing the ruffles of tissue paper that puffed from the top. 

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” You told him, albeit still pulling the paper from the top to reveal a small, wrapped, fluffy object.

Hawks hummed, leaning forward to set his elbows on his knees, “You’re right. I didn’t have to. But, I wanted to.”

As carefully as you could, somewhat suspicious, you peeled back to the paper. 

Your eyes widened.

It was a plushie, round and soft with a filling that made it feel like a marshmallow in your arms. The design was familiar, a character from one of your favorite cartoons, but you’d never talked about it with Hawks.

“I figured you could use a little pick me up after all this,” Hawks tilted his head and winked. “Did I get the character right?”

Your mouth fell open, blinking, “How did you... know? That I liked this one?” 

“The little pins on your apron,” Hawks tapped his chest. “I figured you must be pretty fond of this one, since you had a couple of buttons for them, right?”

You wanted to give you a coherent, thankful statement to Hawks. Really, you did. Instead, you stared down at the doughy, round-eyed plushie. Maybe a few overwhelmed tears gathered in your eyes, which you promptly sucked down and shook your head.

“Thank you, really,” You rubbed at your eyes with the back of your hand. “But, fuck, Hawks—”

 For a moment, Keigo thought you were upset with him. Based on the slight contorting of your face, and the wetness in your eyes, his heart seized up. His fingers twitched from where they cupped his chin, wanting to shoot out and comfort you somehow. 

However, Keigo stayed put as you turned back towards him, plushie carefully gathered in your arms and hugged snugly and perfectly to your chest.

“You gotta stop being so fucking nice,” You sighed, pressing your face into the soft fabric of the gift. Your words were muffled, but Keigo heard each one perfectly. “I’m gonna start getting ideas, you know.”

Sure, Keigo could’ve pushed some of your buttons and fluffed himself up for some fun, flirty banter that would be undoubtedly lovely, but it wasn’t the time. You’d had a very long and tiring few days, and Keigo could see and imagine that you were in all sorts of disrepair.

Keigo stood slowly, moving just next to your bed where you turned your head upwards to look at him. Carefully, he placed a worn hand on your shoulder, feeling the small bit of bare skin exposed by the thin gown.

“Don’t worry about that right now, dove, okay?” Keigo let his voice go soft, quiet, and gentle as he could make it. Without thinking, he squeezed your shoulder, rubbing his thumb just under your collarbone.

It was too much, maybe. But neither of you would complain.

Keigo could see and feel the way you relaxed, eyes going half-lidded and leaning into his touch, even putting the slightest amount of your weight into it. 

It was probably the most precious and sweet gesture he’d ever experienced. 

He made it his goal to make more like it. 

(Anything to see you so instantly mushy.)

 “I saw a coffee machine when I was coming in,” Hawks voice was a hum, hand on your shoulder not moving. You didn’t want it to. The heat pressing against your skin made you melt. “Want me to grab us some? I know I need it.”

You managed to giggle, craning your neck to fully look up at Hawks. You swore you could see the slightest quiver in his bottom lip.

“I’d love some.”

“You sure you can stomach shitty coffee?” The thumb rubbed over your collarbone, Keigo’s pretty eyes searching your face, portraying far more than your words. “That’s my territory, angel.”

“I guess I’ll stoop to your taste,” You gave him a smirk like sweet lightning and tentatively, carefully, reached your hand up to wrap around his own, squeezing. “I take my coffee black.”

 ||||||||||||||||||||||

taglist: @thepandapopo @sinclairsamess

#lavender latte #salem writes #hawks x reader #hawks x y/n #hawks x you #takami keigo x reader #takami keigo x you #takami keigo x y/n #hawks fluff #hawks fanfiction #this is a transition chapter shhh y'all are getting spoiled the next few chapters #enjoy a lil preview of the sweetness :'^) #hawks mha #takami keigo

[extasiswings]

That episode truly put me in such a sour mood after what they did to Eddie!! Like the real Eddie would never do any of that stuff! He's a devoted loving father (the best father) who wouldn't do anything that his son isnt okay with! And I'm still super bitter that we didnt get a Eddie/Christopher scene once he got him from Bucks. Like I love the Buck/Christopher scene and it was important and lovely and I'm glad it was in the episode but a Eddie and Christopher scene would've been even more important and definitely needed! And don't get me started on her calling Chris sensitive 🤬 and Eddie not having a reaction towards that like he should! Ugh this is not the mood I want for the next 6 weeks! I'm just hoping that our Eddie, The real Eddie is back in 6 weeks and stay permanently and doesnt let that imposter use his face again!

I feel like the worst part is not only how dirty they did his character but how much it was a total waste of an extremely important and emotional arc.  Like...Eddie taking his first steps into moving on and navigating that with Christopher should have been big, should have been meaningful, should have been handled with at a minimum the same care and attention with which they handled the skateboard incident and Eddie and Christopher’s related conversations in “Fools,” and should have been something that clearly established (or at least strongly foreshadowed) what’s going to happen with their development moving forward into the rest of the season.  I was looking forward to it!  I wanted to see it!

And at the beginning, the rest of the absolutely cringeworthy and barely watchable date scene aside, it was clear that yes! Eddie was reluctant to talk about this with his son!  He was worried!  He had concerns!  And I thought, oh excellent, this is going to go well.

Then, Eddie got home and immediately lied directly to Christopher’s face about it and I thought...oh no.  But even then I still thought, hey now, they can pull it back!  I did actually love Christopher’s reaction!  That part was great!  And honestly, I can even accept Eddie deciding to give Christopher time to cool off instead of going after him to talk immediately.  

There was no reason to have the video call with Ana.  It was unnecessary and only ended up being a vehicle for Invasion of the Body Snatchers Eddie to *checks notes* be totally dismissive of his son’s extremely valid feelings without even having had a real conversation about why Christopher reacted the way he did and what exactly his concerns were!  Not to be dramatic [lie, I’m always dramatic], but I felt like I’d been slapped, it was so abrupt and OOC.  [And, as I mentioned in a separate post, it makes zero sense to have had Eddie be worried about telling Christopher at all if he wasn’t going to actually care about Christopher’s feelings, so not only was he ultimately wildly OOC, his characterization wasn’t even consistent within the confines of the episode.]  

And I’m sorry, I love the Buck and Chris scene, I do, but as much as we joke and clown, Buck is not Christopher’s parent. Plus, their conversation wasn’t even directly about Eddie dating!  It wasn’t directly about Christopher’s concerns with Eddie dating [so therefore, I’m still not clear on exactly what those are/were although I can guess] and there wasn’t even a token attempt at directly addressing that particular elephant in the room!  Yes, kids need reassurance and support from multiple adults they love and look up to in times of crisis, but we got nothing from the most important person and most important relationship in Christopher’s life: his dad. 

It would have been SO EASY to have cut the video call [avoiding the OOC bullshit] and used that time instead to have added on to the Buck and Christopher scene.  Example: Buck and Chris end their conversation, Eddie arrives, having rushed over in a panic, hugs his kid and says some variation on “we can continue this at home, but I’m sorry I lied to you, I should have told you first, but just know no matter what happens or who else comes into my life, I love you and you’re never going to lose me.”  THERE! DONE! I FIXED IT IN THIRTY SECONDS! 

Ideally we would have gotten a longer extended Eddie and Christopher scene because, again, their relationship should have been the focus of this storyline, but if we had even gotten just that little bit on top of the Buck and Christopher scene, it would have cut my salt levels at least in half.  Instead though, we got NOTHING and the next time they were on screen it was because Ana was coming over to the house and suddenly everything was A-OK????? WHAT???? 

Writing tip 101: YOU CAN’T RESOLVE SOMETHING THAT IMPORTANT OFF SCREEN! Like???? Christopher ran away from home and we got zero acknowledgment of the severity of that, zero acknowledgment of the resolution of that, not even a token throwaway line about “we discussed it and everything’s fine now” [which would have been a gross cop-out but still would have been SOMETHING more than the whole lot of absolute BS NOTHING we got].

Once again...Eddie didn’t even let Shannon back into Christopher’s life for months when she came back, but we’re supposed to believe he’s bringing over a new woman he’s not even serious with yet after just a few dates because...what, she was Christopher’s teacher so at least he knows her?  Make it make sense!  [And as a side note, what was the point of having Ana point out multiple times that they could/should go slow with respect to Christopher if she was ultimately going to be totally cool with that weird Meet the Girlfriend introduction? And a side side note, I completely agree, the “sensitive boy” comment rubbed me the wrong way completely and came off as super condescending so thanks I hate it on MULTIPLE levels.]

Anyway...yeah, the whole thing was a goddamn travesty.  I may be a Buddie clown, but I am an Eddie Diaz lover first and foremost and idk who that was in the episode but it sure as HELL was not Eddie Diaz.  @ the guest writer for this episode, the door is that way, please let it hit you on the way out.  Hoping they can do some serious damage control after the hiatus [currently Christopher is credited for 4x9 but Ana is not so there may be some room to set things right] but right now I’m just...very pissed.  Haven’t seen a character assassination this bad since Lucy Preston in the Timeless Christmas Special.  Fucking YIKES.  

#chapel talks #ask #salt tag #youcanhavemybackanyday

[ssa-baby-outlaw]

9-1-1 S5 EP8

• So I had a lil mental breakdown so I'm a few days late but we here now and I'm in need of Michael content because I have missed that man

• Dont give me Michael and David drama! Stop stop stop just let people be happy I talked about this last time I'm not a fan of unnecessary relationship drama especially within queer couples

• A 💫wedding💫

• Athenas reaction is trash

• I need that headcannon of bobby helping plan Michael's wedding to become real

• Hold up I've had to pause it to think about some things - assuming none of them actually die in this episode then could their wedding be the season finale? Cos that would be a great setting for a buddie confession if they were both sat at the singles table...I'm just getting my hopes up now I'll stop

• Well that was a lil dramatic👀

• Yeah go on gaslight the wife why dont you

• Whoa is rupert gonna blow up the hospital?

• Imagine waking up during surgery to hear another one bites the dust playing

• BUCK WITH THE BABIES

• Dont tell me that kid has literally got to save his little sisters life

• Well they're gonna need therapy

• Is the call centre lady (claudette?) Pippa from The L Word Gen Q?

• Okay claudettes character is pissing me off cos she was telling may off for getting emotional and shes much worse rn

• Not one part of me believes that those kids are dead

• Sit down rupert

• That slither of emotion from eddie, such a tease

• They really killing me giving buddie holding kids together

• Dont give ravi any trauma please

• "And I promised your husband" !!!BOBBY THAT IS TOO MUCH WINGMAN BEHAVIOUR JUST GO AHEAD AND PROPOSE FOR HIM

• Wont lie I was a bit distracted in the climactic scene cos I was thinking about Jacqueline Toboni, but the end looked good

• David just saying yes without being asked🥺

• "Where's rupert?" The man didnt listen to direct instructions from first responders and got himself crushed by a ceiling cos he put himself in that situation

• NOOOOOOOOOO keep ravi happy please I refuse to accept this ravi had a happy childhood in my mind

• Oh fuck you claudette (I'm like 82% sure that is her name)

• I miss sue

• Very happy for michael and I know the actor is leaving the show but he is one of my most favourite characters and I'm gonna miss him so much

• And very very sad we dont get a wedding

• The michael flashbacks😭😭 he deserves a great send off, but also that eye contact moment with bobby they legit stared into each others souls

• That ending did feel a little abrupt again

• That was a much better episode than the last few but still not 100% classic 9-1-1 vibes that I crave

#9-1-1 on fox #hendersnoots 911 watch party #9-1-1 season 5 spoilers #9 1 1 season 5 episode 8 #michael grant #bobby nash #ravi panikkar #eddie diaz #evan buckley

[onlydreamofmysoul]

Let Them Eat Cake part ii (Wolfstar bake off au)

This week on The Great British Bake Off

“Oh Lord I’ve just gone and dropped my dough. Repeat, I’ve just dropped my dough”

“I forgot to turn my oven on.”

“I’m going home for sure.”

Remus woke up to his phone ringing.

“Remus!” His mom half-yelled down the line, “You came third in the technical!”

Remus rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand. “Mam, I already told you that, I rang you right after it happened.”

“I know, I know,” Hope said, “But the first episode only came out last night so I’m all excited about it again. Christ Re it’s so strange seeing you on the telly.”

Remus let out an amused huff and flopped back down onto the plush hotel pillows. “Thanks?”

“I’m so proud of you sweetheart… What have you got on today?”

“We’re filming again today, so the first two challenges.”

“Oh, what’s the theme this week?” Hope needled and Remus rolled his eyes fondly. “Man, you know I can’t tell you that yet.”

“I’m your mother. I think if you told anyone, it should be me.”

“Well if I were telling anyone, I would tell you, however…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re not telling anyone.” She said a little disappointed. “It was worth a shot.” She let out a melancholic sigh, “My only child, too big a star now, doesn’t even have time to talk to his own mother.”

“I’m currently talking to my own mother so I think that contradicts your point a little.” Remus chimed in. “Also, I hardly think being on one episode of Bake Off counts as a star.”

“Well it’s all anyone here at home has been talking about for at least a month.”

“Wow, they really need to get a life.” He said dryly and chuckled when his mother began to admonish him. “Oh mam, I’ve got to go, I’m almost late for filming, I’ll call you later.”

“That sounds like a cop out if I’ve ever heard one Remus Lupin, but I’ll let you go anyways. Good luck today, I love you.”

“Love you too mam. Talk soon, bye bye.” He pressed the end call button and lay with his phone on his chest for a moment before actually checking the time. He had about an hour before he was expected on set. He rolled out of bed with a groan and headed into the shower.

Remus quite literally ran into Sirius.

“Oh shit sorry!” He cried as they collided. Sirius caught Remus’ wrist to steady himself and held on for a split second before letting go.

“In a hurry Lupin?” 

Remus flushed a little, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. “Yeah I was supposed to meet Lily at the door five minutes ago but I got caught up.”

Sirius just maintained eye contact for a moment before reaching out and touching the sleeve of Remus’ cream knit sweater. “This is nice.”

Remus lost his words. “Oh um, thank you. I made it actually.”

Sirius quirked a smile. “A baker and a knitter? You’re a real home-boy.”

Remus laughed a little. “Yeah you could definitely say that. I knit when I’m watching TV or whatever, I hate when I don’t have something to do with my hands. ‘Idle hands’ and all that.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Remus said, shrugging him off despite the fact that he was possibly about to lose his mind. The Sirius Black was teasing him.

“Anyways, I should probably go.” He said, ducking his head. “Lily’s waiting for me.”

“And we’ve got a show to get to.” Sirius added.

“Yeah,” Remus smiled. “Yeah we do.”

“Hello and welcome back everyone, to this week’s episode of The Great British Bake Off.” James said grandly as soon as Marlene had signalled that she was recording. “This week, it’s bread week.”

Remus sighed. He fucking loved bread. He was coeliac, so he didn’t eat bread but… he fucking loved bread.

“For our first challenge,” Sirius announced, “Our judges would like to see two plaited loaves. Any flavouring is up to you, but each loaf should be twelve inches in length with clear, defined plaits.”

The bakers all nodded and the camera panned around the room to catch everyone’s reactions. 

“Alright then, Sirius, dough you want to tell them to begin?”

Remus bit his lip to stop himself from laughing. That pun was so cringy but Remus was a sucker for bad jokes. 

“Why yes James, I most certainly dough. Three, two one… Bake!”

Marlene started her rounds today by coming straight to Remus.

“So Remus, what’re you making today?” James asked, appearing by his side. 

“Well the first one, is going to have basil and some tomato sauce and then have some mozzarella plaited in.” Remus said as he took out a glass bowl and began adding ingredients to it. “Then the second one is going to have four different kinds of cheese in it.”

“So basically, no one who’s lactose intolerant can go anywhere near your bread.”

Remus laughed and scratched his cheek. “Pretty much. But I mean, neither of them will be gluten free, so I can’t eat them either.”

James grinned. “I suppose I’ll just have to be your official taste tester then.”

“You know, those already exist. They’re called judges.” Remus chirped and Sirius who was passing laughed, shooting Remus an appreciative look.

James moved on to Lily and Remus could hear her telling him about her toffee bread. Remus had seen her practicing it - it always looked amazing and the other contestants had raved about it. Remus had gotten the recipe from her and he was going to try to make a gluten-free version when all of this was over.

Remus covered the bowls with a layer of cellophane and put them in the proving drawer, waiting until they had at least doubled in size before he would take them out again.

In the meantime, Remus got busy finely chopping fresh basil, making a tomato sauce and slicing mozzarella.

“Looking good, Lupin.” Sirius said, jumping up to sit on the end of Remus’ bench, away from the food.

“Why thank you.” Remus said then had to slap Sirius’s hand away when he tried to steal a slice of cheese. “Oi, get away you cheeky bugger.”

Sirius shrugged,” I’m just trying to relieve James of his official taste tester duties.”

“You’re trying to relieve yourself from your stomach grumbling is more like.” Remus shot back, but he held out a chopping board with his many different cheeses all neatly sliced and grinned. “Go on then, you can have one.”

Sirius’s eyes glimmered. “You know, I quite like you Lupin.” He said, before hopping off the table and wandering away.

“It’s a good thing I quite like cheese Mr Lupin.” Dumbledore said in an almost teasing tone as they reached Remus’ bench to judge. They cut the first loaf and each had a taste.

“I think I would have liked it to have stayed in the oven for a little longer.” McGonagall said, “It’s just missing the really crusty outside we were looking for. But the flavours are wonderful, I quite like the concept.”

“And I, as the official taste tester, i think it’s amazing.” James said, stealing a slice and there were a couple of giggles around the tent. Even Remus cracked a smile.

“Let’s move on to the next one, shall we?” Remus just nodded, his jaw clenched as he listened. This time, the knife made a much more satisfying sound as it cut through the bread. Remus couldn’t help but sigh a little in relief, his eyes trained on the loaf to see if the bake was even.

“Now, this one is much better.” Dumbledore said before he took a bite. His eyes fluttered closed as he chewed and Remus pursed his lips together to stop himself from smiling. “Very enjoyable Mr Lupin, I can’t find a fault with this one.”

McGonagall nodded in agreement and with that they moved over to Lily’s bench. Remus sat down on his stool with a sigh, his shoulders slumping.

 “Hey, good job. ”Sirius whispered as he passed and Remus smiled. Yeah, he quite liked bread.

“Ah look at little Remus, eating his salad.” Tonks teased, ruffling his hair as she plopped down on the chair next to him. Remus scowled. “Believe me, if I could be eating bread like the rest of you lot, I would be.”

“Alas, alack!” A guy Peter, another contestant proclaimed. “We get to eat your bread though. It’s so good mate, much better than that sad lump I presented.”

Everyone around the table started sniggering. Peter had had a bit of an accident resulting in burned bread. It was edible, but it really hadn’t looked like much.

“I’m really going to have to up my game in the next two challenges.” He moaned. “I really don’t want to go home yet.” They all nodded in agreement and the table went quiet for a moment as everyone thought while they munched.

“What a rowdy bunch you lot are.” Sirius said, he and James each pulling up a chair. ”Can we…?” He asked, pointing to the selection of breads, all sliced in the middle of the table.

“Yeah of course,” Remus said. “They’re there to eat.”

Remus certainly didn’t that Sirius immediately went for one of the loaves he made. Nope. Not at all.

“So how are we all feeling about the next challenge?” James asked, tearing parts off his hunk of bread and popping them into his mouth.

“Oh my god, new rule.” Tonks declared. “No competition talk when we’re on our breaks. I need to talk about something other than the ratio of sugar to flour.”

Sirius chuckled at her abruptness. “Fair enough. Let’s see… What are your favourite colours?”

“Basic question.” Tonks countered, leaning back in her chair, “But I’ll take it. Mine is pink.”

“Really? I never would have guessed.” Remus said dryly, gesturing to her hair. Lily choked on her food.

“What’s yours then Remus?” Tonks challenged. 

Remus shrugged. “I don’t have a favourite, I like them all.”

“Even brown?” Peter piped in. 

“Especially brown. It’s the colour of chocolate. It’s also like the most hated colour, it needs some appreciation.”

“It’s one of the most hated colours because it’s boring. Like is there any colour more dull than brown?” James asked.

“Beige.” Lily said and James pointed a finger at her, indicating that she had made a valid point. “Okay, that’s very fair. Beige is boring as fuck.”

“I can’t believe this is a conversation we’re having.” Sirius mused and Remus looked at him incredulously. “You’re the one who started it!”

“I asked for favourite colours, not the opposite. It was you who set us on this dull - coloured path.” Sirius counted, his eyes playful. Tonks looked between the two of them for a moment before checking her watch.

“I hate to be the one to break up the band but, it’s time for us to get back to it.”

“Ah, the woes of the working life.” Sirius lamented and Remus snorted. 

“Oh hush, you have like, the best job ever.”

Sirius threw his arm around James’ shoulders. “That’s very true. Come on then Jamie, let’s get back to it.”

“Our next challenge, is of course our technical.” James announced as the cameras began rolling. “This week, our judges have asked you to make bagels.”

“You should have five identical bagels at the end. Your instructions are on your bench.”

“Ready?”

“Set.”

“Bake!”

Remus lifted the cloth that was covering the ingredients and recipe McGonagall and Dumbledore had written for them. He both loved and hated the technical, possibly for the same reasons. The steps were vague and needed a lot of thought which was pretty annoying but it challenged him and pushed him to see what kind of baker he was. 

“You ever made these?” Lily asked and Remus shook his head. “No, never. You?”

“Nope.” She said, popping the ‘p’. “This should be interesting.”

Remus chuckled as he began reading the instructions. make a dough, it read.

“Don’t you love how specific these instructions are?” Remus said to Tonks sarcastically and some of her hair fell out of her comically short ponytail as she laughed.

“This dough is meant to be stretchy I think.” Lily commented and Remus nodded his head. “Yeah, I’ve heard that too.”

Remus set to work, covering his dough in cellophane once more and popping it into the proving drawer. 

“You know I could really get used to this proving business,” he commented, “It gives me the chance to make a cup of tea.”

“Glad to see you have your priorities.” Sirius joked as he appeared. “Any chance I can have one too?” Remus just nodded to the bench in response, where he had already taken out a mug for Sirius. 

Sirius finished making the tea as Remus took out a pot, filled it with water and put it on the hob to boil. Just then a panicked wail sounded through the tent. 

“Oh lord, I’ve just gone and dropped my dough. Repeat, I dropped my dough.”

James was immediately at his side to help him figure it out. They chatted intensely for a minute, the cameras circling like vultures as Peter forlornly tossed the ruined dough in the bin, but began to make a new one. Remus let out a shaking breath on his friends behalf, Peter would really be racing against the clock. 

“It’s make it or break it time.” Remus said, turning back to his own work , decking to focus on that for now. His thoughts wouldn’t help Peter and all Remus could do right now was work on his own project. Having divided his dough and rolled it into shape, he boiled them one by one, praying he was doing the right thing. “And now you fuckers are going in the oven.”

“Oh my god Remus.” Marlene said. “We had great footage of you there and you totally just ruined it.”

“Sorry sorry, I’ll do it again.” Remus smirked and slid the tray into the oven. “And now you little shits are going in the oven.”

Marlene just turned around and left as Sirius’ laugh filled the tent. 

Remus walked up to the table to present his baking to be judged. As per the rules, he placed the plate down behind his picture and sat in one of the stools lined up, facing the table. McGonagall and Dumbledore arrived, looking much to chipper for Remus liking, not when he was struggling not to start biting his nails. He chose instead to pick at the hem of his jumper until Lily took his hand in hers. He was grateful - he really liked this jumper.

Peter was disappointed but not at all surprised when his bagels hadn’t risen enough. How could they have when making a second batch had essentially cut out the proving process. Tonks’ were a bit too small. Lily’s were a bit too chewy. Remus  bit his lip to stop himself from beaming when his were the best of the bunch. Still not perfect, not by a long shot, but he had won the technical challenge and his relief sent him out of the tent, unable to lessen the grin on his face as Marlene questioned him.

“How are you feeling, after today?”

“I’m feeling pretty good! I got off to a bit of a rocky start today, but I think I recovered well so I’m looking forward to sinking my teeth into the challenge tomorrow.”

Marlene gave him a thumbs up and wandered away to find some of the others.

“Well done Mr Technical Challenge!” Lily cried, slinging her arm around his waist as they began to walk back to the hotel. 

“Why thank you, Ms Star Baker.”

“We make quite the pair.” Lily observed.

“That, my dear Lily, we most certainly do.”

Remus woke up in Lily’s room.

“Ugh, that alarm is so loud.” Remus groaned and ignored Lily giggling at him.

“I can’t believe how much you’re not a morning person, you seem like you’re hungover or something.”

“I am hungover as a result of life, Lily.” He muttered. “Existing is exhausting.”

“By god, you really are dramatic in the morning.” She gathered up a towel and some toiletries. “I’m going for a shower and to get ready. Meet you for breakfast in twenty?”

Remus nodded in agreement, shoved on his shoes and started gathering the one or two belongings he had. He hadn’t meant to sleep in Lily’s room, but they had stayed up so late talking the pair had just drifted off. It had been the best night Remus had spent her so far - he and Lily curled up under a pile of blankets, each nursing a mug of hot chocolate as they gossiped like school girls.

Remus stepped out the door and very closely avoided a collision with Sirius.

“I’m getting a freaky sense of deja vu right now.” Remus said, grinning.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “This… isn’t your room.”

Remus shook his head as they began walking down the corridor. “Nah, it’s Lily’s, I’m heading back to mine now.”

“You and… Lily?”

Remus choked as he realized what Sirius was thinking. “No, no, God no. I mean, Lily’s fantastic but no. We’re just friends, we fell asleep talking.”

Sirius’ shoulders almost seemed to visibly lighten. “Oh right, yeah.”

Remus grinned and nudged Sirius’ shoulder with his own playfully. “Lily’s not really my type.”

“Oh yeah? What is your type then?”

“Oh you know… not women.”

Sirius smirked and looked at Remus sideways. “Now that, sounds like something I quite relate to.”

Remus slowed to a stop as they reached his door. “I suppose I’ll see you in the tent?”

“That seems pretty unavoidable, doesn’t it?” Sirius threw him a cheeky wink and turned on his heel, continuing down the hall. Remus would be lying if he said he didn’t watch him walk away.

“Welcome back for our showstopper challenge!” Sirius said, smiling at all the contestants. 

“This will be your second showstopper, so get ready.”

“That’s right,” James continued, “This week's challenge will be to bake pull apart rolls.”

“Jamie, are you sure you have the right challenge? That doesn’t sound very showstopper like.”

“Why thank you Sirius, you’d be right. I did forget to mention that your rolls should make the shape of your favourite animal.”

Remus rolled his eyes at the obviously pre prepared banter and yet he found himself smiling anyways. 

“Ready.”

“Set.”

“Bake!”

Remus immediately set to work, knowing exactly what he wanted to do and how to do it, however he had been cutting it quite close on time every time he had practised, so he wanted to work as quickly as possible to allow for all and any mishaps that tended to happen under pressure. 

He made, proved and rolled out his dough in record time and was now assembling the little rolls into the shape he wanted. He was shading the top with poppy and sesame seeds and stepped back for a moment to admire his handy work. He was in no way close to an artist, except for when it came to baking. If his canvas was starch and glucose, he might as well be Michelangelo. 

He made one or two more adjustments before putting it in the oven for thirty minutes. That still gave him twenty minutes to spare, making this the fastest he had ever completed his challenge. Maybe the pressure had its benefits after all

“Oh fuck.” He heard Lily say from behind him. 

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.” She cried, her time getting more and more panicked. 

“Lily?” Remus asked, whirling around in confusion. “What’s wrong?”

“I forgot to turn the oven on.” She whispered, her face pale. 

“You… What?”

“I forgot to turn the oven on! Remus I’m screwed this won't heat up for at least ten minutes and I have fifty minutes of work left at least!

Remus wasn’t sure what overcame him in that moment, maybe some panicked curled hormones but suddenly he was in full disaster mode. 

“Okay,” he muttered, opening his own oven and adding another wire rack. “Okay Lily, put yours in here with mine while your oven heats up. It’s not ideal, I know but it’ll get you started.”

“Remus Lupin.” Lily declared as she collected her tray and walked around her own bench to reach him. “You are my literal hero.”

She lifted herself up on her tip toes and kissed him on the cheek swiftly before putting her doe - shaped dough in the oven and racing back to her own workspace to turn hers on. 

Remus let out a shaky breath as he sat down for a moment. It was such a simple mistake that could happen to any of them.  Remus vowed to himself to be extra vigilant from now on and to never assume he did anything on muscle memory. Here everything was strange and new and it could quite throw off your routine, especially if you’re used to working consistently in one particular venue. 

“That, Mr Lupin, was quite the save.” Sirius commented, swooping in like he always did. Remus smiled weakly and ran his fingers through his hair. Just then Lily appeared again and took her bread out of the oven. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She cried as she dashed back to work, putting her bread in her own oven with a deafening clang. 

“Thirty five minutes left!” Sirius called and Remus stood up cracking his knuckles. He could chat to Sirius later, right now? He still had a little work to do. He grabbed the little bit of extra dough he had set aside in the fridge and set to work. 

“Mr Lupin, if you would please bring your challenge up to the table.” McGonagall called and even in his mild panic, Remus could still take a moment to appreciate the lovely lilt in her words. 

He set his baking down on the table and stepped back to look at his work - a wolf, howling at a full moon.

“The moon detailing is quite clever Mr Lupin.” Dumbledore said and Remus sighed in relief. It had been the little bit of dough he had set aside - put in the oven later to account for it’s smaller size.

“It certainly looks excellent, but the question stands; how does it taste.

“Remus winced as they pulled apart his, frankly, perfect design and each took a bite. Dumbledore gave him a broad smile and Remus bit his lip, grinning.

“I think you’ll find we’re very pleased Mr Lupin. These truly are very good.”

Remus could actually pay attention to the rest of the assessments after that thrilling review. He watched Peter present his rat bread (side note - what in the world had possessed him to make food in the shape of a rat?), Lily displayed her doe which had turned out very well in the end and some guy even made an alpaca. Remus didn’t know that dude too well yet, but he thought his name was Benji.

They all sat once more on the stools lined up at the front of the tent while the judges made their decisions. James and Sirius regaled them all with stories from their childhood while they waited,

“And then what do you know?” James cried, his hands flying everywhere as he told the story. “I look up, and there’s Sirius, hanging out the second floor window with his trousers down around his ankles.”

The entire room burst out laughing, Remus was pretty sure there were tears streaming down his face.

“But what made you think that would be a good idea?” Remus wheezed, still unable to breathe properly for all his laughing, but desperate to get a look into teenage Sirius’ state of mind.

Sirius just shrugged. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.” He admitted sheepishly and that set everyone off into another round of deafening laughter, when the judges walked in and they all sobered quite quickly.

James and Sirius conferred with them quietly in the corner a moment before walking back over to the contestants.

“Today, I have the absolute pleasure of announcing our star baker.” Sirius said, looking around the room with a small smile. “Our star baker this week is…” Sirius scanned the crowd for a moment before his eyes landed on Remus. “Remus.”

Remus didn’t even move. He wasn’t even sure he could if he had wanted to. He had won star baker.

“Which leaves me with the awful job of announcing who’s leaving us today.” James said in a flat tone but Remus didn’t even hear or register that some guy Fabien was leaving. He was just another baker Remus didn’t even know that well. But he was star baker. Lily pulled him into a hug and held him tight. The room around him was filled with pats on the back and congratulations and Sirius looked him right in the eye and mouthed well done.

Remus was pretty sure he wanted to live in this moment forever.

“Remus, would you be alright calling your family on camera? We’d just like to capture their reaction.”

Remus nodded and rang his mom. She answered on the first ring. “Hi, Ma?” Guess what?”

“What is it love, how did your day go?”

“I won star baker.”

Marlene giggled behind the camera as Hope let out a series of delighted yells. Remus laughed along with her for a moment. “Okay mam, I’ve got to go finish my interview, but I’ll call you later, okay?”

He said his goodbyes, hung up the phone and turned back to the camera. “So Remus, what were you thinking throughout the challenges?”

“Well after the first one, I kept thinking I’m going home for sure. But obviously I recovered a bit.”

“A bit? Marlene chuckled. “From going home to star baker. I’d say you recovered quite a lot.”

Remus chatted with Marlene for a few more minutes before she sent him away, claiming she had taken up enough of his time. Just as he was beginning to leave, Sirius sidled up to him.

“Well, if it isn’t the brightest star.” Remus teased.

“I think that today,” Sirius countered, “That would be you.”

Remus blushed and looked down at his feet. “Want to walk back to the hotel?

Sirius smiled. “That sounds like a plan.”

#let them eat cake #bake off au #wolfstar #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin/Sirius Black #wolfstar au #tgbbo #the great british bake off

[aahsokaatano]

King I would love that essay about Changing Channels

Fjdjshjdhdjd thanks for reading my tags Jesse you're the real VIP here.

Okay SO "Changing Channels" is the 8th episode of the 5th season of Supernatural. I give this information bc it's important in looking at the context of the episode - now I've complained a LOT about how SPN is terrible at giving us canonical timeframes within the episodes (y'all i was SHOCKED to discover the first season is supposed to cover a little over a year's worth of time, I thought it was like... 4 or 5 months) so I can't say for sure how long before and after the other episodes happen in-universe around "Changing Channels" BUT

The episode before is "The Curious Case of Dean Winchester" where Dean and Bobby bet years of their lives in a game of poker with a witch. The episode after is "The Real Ghostbusters" where Sam and Dean end up at a fan convention for the in-universe Supernatural novels.

Why am I pointing this out? Because it's important, please, no audience participation, this is like a Brian David Gilbert panel.

[under a cut bc this got...... STUPID long. Who knew I still had this many opinions about SPN in 2020?]

Okay first of all I wanna talk about the cinnamon topography of this episode - I love the way the first 5 seasons are shot because you really feel the americana gothic horror aesthetic they were going for (I have a whole ‘nother rant about the first 5 seasons vs the last 10 but thats for another time). Everything is a little washed out and grey-toned, the camera angles generally serve to make Sam and Dean appear even taller than they actually are (larger than life - again, another post for another time), and there’s honestly a LOT of shots from the ‘monster’s’ perspective, which is really neat! I’ve said it before (on another blog - YES i have a dedicated spn rant blog, don’t @ me hdjfhfjfh) but the episode that really got me hooked on spn back in the day was the second one, about the w*ndigo. Yes, it’s a racist, culturally appropriating shitstorm, but the way its SHOT is fantastic. I’m honestly not a horror fan, but that episode could have easily relied on jumpscares and they DIDN’T and it was scary as all fucking hell and just - fuck okay getting off topic. 

In “Changing Channels” we get that distinctive grey-washed tone in the beginning and the very end of the episode, but the middle? When they’re in TV Land? Everything is bright. Almost comically so, I mean - okay look at these two shots of Sam (apologies about the crappy phone pics, netflix won't let me screenshot)

This one is from the start of the episode, in the "real" police station

And this is from a little later in the "TV" hospital

Ignoring that my phone is washing him out a lot in both pics, you can still see the warmer tones in the hospital shot as compared to the cold greyness in the police station one

Okay, now look at this picture

Dean inside the Impala, and those warm tones are back. Why? Because even though Sam and Dean believe that they’re back in the “real” world, they aren’t - so instead of the grey-washed shots that we’re used to, its the bright and warm shots that we see in “TV Land”! So the viewers pick up, even if its just subconsciously, that the boys aren’t out of the woods yet - everything is still too bright to be the in-universe reality we’ve come to expect from SPN by season 5

Which is also why i love this shift so much

These shots are literally SECONDS apart. The first is in "TV Land" and the second is in the "real" world. I have some red strip lights behind my bed, which are reflecting off my laptop screen - notice how much brighter they seem in the second picture? That’s because literally all of the warm colors have been drained out of the shot. As soon as Gabriel snaps them all back into “reality,” things get so much colder.

Okay, so the second thing I want to talk about is some of the very pointed dialogue choices within the “shows” the Winchesters take part in. Not between Sam and Dan and Gabriel, but from the, for lack of a better term, NPCs within the shows.

In the hospital, Dr. Piccolo tells Sam that he is “the finest cerebrovascular neurosurgeon I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your table; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.” Standard cheesy soap opera dialogue - but lemme just swap some words here and - 

“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your hunt; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.”

Or even - 

“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So Jessica and Mary died above you; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault [but Azazel’s]. Sometimes people just die.”

Keeping in mind that the NPCs are basically Gabriel’s mouthpieces, its easy to see why so many people ship Sabriel. I’d actually love to see a fic that explores them talking about this moment in particular later on and the kind of gentle forgiveness that Gabriel can give Sam... getting off topic again.

In an abrupt about-face, the herpes commercial (much meme’d within the fandom) is straight up Gabriel shaming Sam. Because if you replace “genital herpes” with “demon blood” it’s.... dark. And very intentional.

So that’s what I did! (I combined all spoken lines to make the message easier to read, rather than splitting them up across 3 speakers as in the episode)

“I’ve drank demon blood. I tried to be responsible... did I try. But now, after being forcibly detoxed, I fight my addiction every day to reduce the chances of passing back into that toxic mindset. Ask your loved ones about a demon blood intervention today. [...] I am doing all I can to slightly lessen the chance of drinking demon blood again. And that’s a good thing.”

Like... the subtext throughout this episode sure is. Something.

Okay this is getting ridiculously long so I wanna wrap up by talking about The Best Scene In The Whole Goddamn Show

I’m talking, of course, about Gabriel’s Confession

“Max,” you might be saying, “there are so many better scenes out there, even within the first five seasons!” and to that i say, again, no audience participation, please. Also, you’re WRONG and here’s why!

Gabriel’s confession hits every goddamn emotional chord that the fandom begged for on this show - fear, rage, grief, pain, guilt, and even, yes, absolution. 

Okay, here’s the scene again for those of you who don’t think about it at least once a week like me

Now this video is missing some of the conversation, but most of it is there, enough for you to see what I’m talking about. Gabriel up to this point has been, essentially, a nameless antagonist - this is the third episode he appeared in, and before this, we didn’t even know he was going by Loki. He was just referred to as ‘The Trickster’. But here, not only do we get a name (a real name at that), but we also get a glimpse of his backstory and a hell of a lot of character development in less than 5 minutes. I mean, Sam didn’t get this much character development throughout the entirety of season 1! There’s a good reason Gabriel has been a fan-favorite for a very long time, and I think a big part of it is this particular scene.

Because here, we get to see Gabriel being vulnerable. And we even see Dean show a little vulnerability, as he can empathize being the third party to explosive arguments between the two people who mean everything to him.

I mean... okay, it will never see the light of day, but I wrote a little bit of a Reverse ‘Verse fic (because I’m a sucker for Reverse ‘Verse) and this was the scene I started with. Not s1e1, not even the resurrection in s4e1, but this scene. Because this scene, more than any other, is critical to the way not only Gabriel’s (first) arc plays out, but also to how Sam and Dean conduct themselves for the rest of the season (and maybe a bit beyond, it’s been a hot minute since I watched s6 and later). Dean is angry but determined, he has a point to make, he is going to save Sammy and if he can’t do that, then he’s going to damn well die trying. But Sam... it’s after this episode that we start really seeing how bone-achingly tired Sam is. It’s after this conversation - where one of the other archangels, one of the few beings who can truly understand how powerful Michael and Lucifer are - says that there’s no other way around this that Sam seems to start inching towards giving in. Saying yes.

Sure, in the actual episode, he seems outraged by the idea, practically scoffs at it - “you want us to say yes to those sons of bitches?” - but it’s after this where Sam really seems run down.

I mean, look at the episodes before and after (HAH you thought I forgot about that first point I made at the very beginning of this post! I did, briefly, but I’ve circled back to it, thanks for being understanding). In “The Curious Case of Dean Winchester,” Sam behaves much as he did since the start of s4, which is to say, ‘annoying little know-it-all brother tossed into the middle of the apocalypse and just trying his best’ and it works well for the mad scramble for any scrap of information that’s happening in s4/early s5.

But in “The Real Ghostbusters” it’s different. This is another funny meta episode - except, while Sam and Dean are technically aware of the joke, they aren’t as amused by it as the audience is. And it’s not because of the ghosts. It’s because they’re just... done. Especially Sam. Dean has that nice little moment with the cosplayers at the end of the episode, but Sam... threatens to shoot Chuck. Sam ‘goes darkside’ more often than pretty much any other character in the show, but that moment is different. It’s a flat promise, not a threat. He’s not being an asshole, like he is after losing his soul. He’s just... done. And it’s obvious to see.

Gabriel’s confession is the turning point for Sam in s5, and it informs a lot of his behavior through the rest of s5, and possibly beyond! Like I said, I haven’t watched past s5 in a very long time, so I don’t feel confident enough to analyze that specific sort of character line, but I feel confident in saying that hearing one of the most powerful beings in the universe basically say “it doesn’t matter what you do - your destiny is unavoidable” and then he’s proven right (Sam says yes to Lucifer, and Dean eventually does say yes to Michael down the line!)... like, that’s really gotta fuck up your world view that was built on free will and throwing off the shackles of fate. Sam managed to avoid his ‘destiny’ in s2... but then it turns out that that wasn’t ever his destiny. Lucifer was his destiny.

Talk about an obscured view of the inner self.

#thebisexualmandalorian #jesse #max answers #spn #naturally super #changing channels #im having some THOUGHTS yall

[laufire]

Supernatural s2

I’m halfway through s3 already (technically a rewatch, but there were episodes I didn’t watch the first time around), so this post is a little overdue lol. At this rhythim the posts will overlap. Plus I’m hoping I can finish s4-5 during the holidays to see the ~intended ending~ before I have to slow down on the binge-watch. After that, a season a month sounds achievable AND won’t take longer than 2021 xD

ANYWAY.

-Overall, I’ve enjoyed it more than the first one, but at the same time I’ve found myself missing how... claustrophobic? Insular? Compact? That one was. s2 was about the world opening up just a little bit more, introducing new characters to the brothers’ life, etc. I do love the detail that this is something that can only have, narratively speaking, once John is dead. Again: this show gets abusive families, consciously or not.

-The foreshadowing is beautifully done. 15 seasons make for a lot of unintentional and ironic foreshadowing later on, I’m sure, but the purposeful foreshadowing is superb this season. About the crossroads deals, of course, but especially about John’s last words. I already knew he’d told Dean he might have to kill Sam (father of the year, seriously. Though I side-eye the fandom even more for always having acted as if this is only awful for Dean lol), so I was hyperaware of every single detail. My favourite moment was the absolute horror of hearing Gordon proudly, cheerfully relate how he murdered his sister when she became a vampire (which, btw, as someone that’s still bitter about what went down with the Gunn siblings on Angel, I found it healing to see something like that treated as a horror story).

-Speaking of Gordon: I unashamedly love his character lmfao. Sterling K. Brown is mesmerizing, always. At the same time, I have serious mixed feelings (especially after seeing his arc in full in s3) because man, if it isn’t a racist mess. I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s not exactly revolutionary that the first time we see the story from the monster’s POV (something I want the show to do! Often!), it’s when white monsters are stalked and brutalized by our first black hunter. Especifically a white woman, btw (although I’m happy to see Tara Maclay as a brunette vampire. I didn’t know I needed that in my life, but I did). And you can tell that the show thinks it’s just so SMART and FUNNY to have a ~racist black hunter!! I mean, the comment about how psychic kids would be “betraying their race” if they allied with demons?? FFS.

And ofc there’s the fact that he’s condemned for the exact same type of stuff that makes Dean be hailed as a hero lmfao. Though I won’t like, I love the moment where, faced with the comparison, Dean’s response is “I might be like you, I might not. But you’re the one tied up.” I love those kinds of character moments. As of s2 I officially have a love-hate relationship with Dean Winchester, I hate it here xDD

But still, on his own, Gordon is an amazing character (it’s one of the most frustrating things about the show, the greatness tainted by the bigotry :))). Charismatic, terrifying, and ofc superbly acted. Also, I love that the fact that he praised John (as opposed to every other hunter having a rockier relationship with him) is clearly supposed to be a red flag LMFAO.

-I enjoy how the seasons delves more deeply into Sam’s ~~dark origins, since it was my fave thing about him way back when. I’m already mourning the (as I suspect) lost of his powers, ngl. There’s a little more attention in how he tends to over-identify with supernatural creatures struggling with their ~dark sides too (bitch me too, the fuck xD), which I LOVE to see (among other reasons because at least in that way we get a little of their POV in the forefront lol). One of my favourites in that sense was the episode centered around the ghost-who-didn’t-know-she-was-ghost, played by Tricia Helfer. I clocked early one what was going on, but it was still very enjoyable, especially with Sam’s empathy with her (contrasted by Dean being a total bitch about it, btw. I can’t believe I still see post about how Dean is all heart/kindness/compassion/whatever the fuck. Dean is all about selective empathy and only when it conveniences him, pls).

I was more divided on the episode with Madison the werewolf, tbh. OTOH it put Sam in a better position, for a change xD. As the one willing to make The Hard Choices by fulfilling his promise to kill her because she was dangerous, even when Dean offered to ~take the burden from him. OTOH I hate that kind of thing lol. YOU GUYS KNOW A HUNTER PRO LIKE BOBBY, I BET HE COULD’VE FIGURED OUT SOMETHING TO CONTAIN HER A FEW NIGHTS A MONTH. Also, my immediate reaction was to compare this to when my man Angel had a crush on a werelady and helped her every month lmfao. But then, very few characters can withstand a comparison with Angel, in any sense :P

I also liked Sam’s subplot with his fellow demon-psychic kids, though I wish it’d lasted longer :/ (also: RME at the queer girl dying almost immediately AND her power being killing people, her girlfriend first of all, with her touch. The black guy was the last one to die at least...?). My fave was Ava, by far. I loved her since her reaction to helping Sam stealing a psychiatrist’s records was yelling “I’M AWESOME!!”. It made it easy to buy that someone that appeared so mundane, with her easy life and her fiance and whatnot, would become so power hungry and go off the rails, IMO.

BTW: RME at Dean being all “oh Sam is going too dark/becoming to cold” when Sam kills Jake. Jake ripped off his spine and killed him first!! It both amuses me and infuriates me all the times Dean tries to push Sam to be more like himself and then freaks out whenever Sam is not all sunshine and rainbows (while still remaining, IMO, far less cold than Dean himself. Besides, it’s not easy to be colder than Dean, lol).

Lastly, a little character detail I loved was when Sam was jealous about Dean being in the federal database but not himself lmfao. 

-I loved the new foreshadowing crumb with Sam finding out Mary knew the demon, too (information he’ll withhold from Dean, which I approve of LOL). I mean, I know exactly what’s up, I’ve watched most of s4 xD (also, what is UP with this family and making deals with demons. Everyone but Sam so far!! And then HE gets dragged for ~getting too close to one smh. Maybe lead by example!! Also also: yes, it was meant to be ambiguous, but I can’t help but notice the only kiss-pact -or further, depending to how close YED was to Lilith’s levels, since to make a deal with her you have to fuck xD- we didn’t see was the one that must’ve happened between John and YED. Cowards!! xD). Still. I’m so curious about her. Her resurrection is one of the main reasons I’m determined to make it to the later seasons, ngl.

-Another thing I LOVED about this season is how they used sibling relationships to parallel/foreshadow stuff about the brothers, the way s1 did often with fathers. I’ve already mentioned Gordon and his sister, but the others are not less brutal imo: Andy having to kill his evil twin, who wanted him all for himself (... Dean is that you xD); the little girl’s ghost who wanted her grand-niece to commit suicide to stay with her, and didn’t give in until her old sister agreed to die in her place. It was chilling. Also, at one point the parallel was between the brothers and a married couple (the ghost-who-didn’t-know-she-was-a-ghost) and asñdlfkajsf. I’m guessing they had fun with the shippers lol.

Speaking of the brothers’ relationship, this season also goes a little further in escalating the violence between them, when Dean punches Sam in the face and he refuses to respond (“you can hit me all you want, it won’t change anything”. Fuck), or when Dean again punches Sam after Sam was possessed by Meg ¬¬

-Going back to my love-hate relationship with Dean, lmfao. My biggest beef remains how much validation his POV gets from the narrative, granted or not; he’s one of the most irritating cases of protagonist-centered morality and I know it’s only going to get worse smh. At least this season it feels a little more balanced than in s1, with episodes like the one where the civilian Sam had tried to keep away dies halfway through the ep because Dean allowed him to get involved, for example. Still, it grates on me xD. The continuing prison rape jokes/demonic possession rape jokes (with Meg and Sam), his general grossness with women and his lack of sympathy for non-humans even when they’re not trying to hurt anyone don’t exactly help. Also, I often see him praised for some of his political views, a lot of which I agree with (his mistrust of cops, saying convicts don’t deserve to die no matter what they do), but when contrasted with his general attitude across the show it’s really grating ngl.

But then he has such AMAZING character details thrown in, that make me appreciate him as a POV character nonetheless, as much as I often want to curb stomp the guy xD. I loved his speech about how there’s no such thing as a dignified death. I love how he refused to come near his mother’s grave, both at the beginning and at the end of the episode (this show is like, the cure to DCCW’s shows false fuzzy sentimentality istg). I love his pop-culture references, like when Sam mentions Dean always thought OJ was the murderer or Dean jokes about freeing Katie Holmes from Scientology’s cult xD (sometimes it really hits you how old this show is lol). I enjoyed his Wishverse episode, and his lines after Sam dies/he sells his soul to save him (“I had one job”, “my life can mean something”) hit HARD.

But most of all? I LOVE how and why he starts losing respect for John. It’s so fucking cold and abrupt and makes so much sense!! Like, yes, part of it is John’s message about killing Sam (... again, father of the year!), but most of all it’s about John making a pact with a demon and dying TO SAVE DEAN (and probably, simply that he died at all. That shit de-mystifies anyone). IT’S SO FUCKING GREAT TO WATCH. “He spent his life chasing that demon. He was supposed to die fighting, not making a deal with the damn thing. That was supposed to be his legacy, not this." Damn, Dean xDD. The *contempt* with which he said that killed me.

I also love his inherently atheist vision of the world (even if yes, it’s extremely funny knowing this show has canon God and angels and shit -no Jesus Christ though, which I find endlessly funny-, or that they actually meet the archangel Gabriel in disguise xD. Either way, the episode with the fake angel and its foreshadowing was hilarious), his anti-destiny stance, and that it’s him and not John who gets to kill YED.

-I liked Ellen and Jo. Not LOVED, but I liked them. I keep fearing that secondary (especially female) characters will feel empty/shallow but the show keeps proving me wrong, even with one-episode wonders, and at first I wasn’t sure about them, but I was sold quickly. Partially because of the actresses, they both had this... humanizing, endearing quality? It worked really well.  I also loved the explicit contrast between John and Ellen’s parenting styles, with Ellen wanting Jo to return to school and be safe from the hunt, and Jo wanting something different. Also, I wouldn’t ship it if you paid me, but LOL at anyone who actually buys Dean sees Jo as a ~little sister just because MEG said that rme.

This show is just REALLY good when it comes to giving depth to a character with only a couple of brush strokes, which makes it all the more frustrating when they abruptly die or disappear to never be seen again/only once more (to abruptly die!) :)))

I was less sold on Ash; he was amusing, but having a Genius Hacker TM helping them out seemed like the beginning of increasingly giving the brothers ways of deux ex machina-ing them out of problems, when one of my favourite things about the show is seeing them creatively find ways out themselves. I like when they’re competent! Like with the multitude of codes they have to improvise plans, like in the episode where with two words through a lawyer they implemented a quick scheme so that Sam would escape from a police precinct. I like that stuff.

-I’m still so bitterly jealous about the dead man’s blood hurting vampires detail. SO BITTERLY JEALOUS. I love a lot of what this show does with its lore but that little bit is the worst offender. I want it so bad xD

#talking to the void #my thoughts #spn thoughts #supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #gordon walker #ellen harvelle #jo harvelle #spn s2 #the winchesters get to have a tag I GUESS

[cherrybloomn]

Delicate - Chapter 1

Summary:

Naomi Poesy is a TV host of the show about acting and contemporary cinema. She is living life to the fullest, but for some reason she promised herself, she will never do any relationships. Much to her surprise she befriends one of her guests. Will she keep her promise?

***

Warnings: none

-------------------------------------------------

Feb. 2020

„Naomi, our guest is having his makeup done. He will be in the studio in about five minutes, we’re on air in ten.”

„Thank you. My God, I had such a wonderful weekend! Can you imagine that Samuel Firth, the CEO of The Kellan Investments, agreed to finance my charity?? We actually went out on Saturday. I was certain he would have sent one of his employees, but no! He came himself! We went to Nobu Restaurant. We spent almost three hours talking about the charity and our legal, and psychological support. I told him about all the women and children needing our help. Apparently, he has four kids. He also gave me a wonderful idea – to build a house, where the most needed ones could temporarily live. He said the FI could provide the building to accommodate. That’s fucking awesome!”

„Sounds brilliant! You know I will always be grateful, that you helped me to move on, and that you gave me this job. I don’t know what we’d do without your help. I was such a mess. I mean it.” Sarah smiled at Naomi. „I can’t say thank you enough.” For a moment Sarah zoned out thinking about her previous life. Her husband abused her and their ten-year-old son. He even made them steal alcohol for him. She met Naomi by accident in Buddhist Centre, where Sarah was looking for help. Sarah remembered their first encounter. Despite Naomi’s petite frame, Sarah felt the great energy. Naomi invited Sarah to her charity, provided the legal and psychological care. They managed to fight the restraining order, which made Sarah feel much better and safe.

„Hey, Sarah.” Naomi approached the girl and grabbed her by the hand. „Everything is fine. It is fine. It will be fine.” Naomi gave Sarah a hug. „Now, let’s go to our guest. I’ve heard you fancy him!”

“Oh, I so do. Who doesn’t??”

“Well, sure he is handsome. But I’m definitely loyal to Leonardo DiCaprio. He’s such a great actor.”

„Not that handsome though! I hope I’ll get an autograph for me and for Tom, he’s a big Superman fan.”

„We’ll work that out”. Naomi winked at her, grabbed her notes and headed to the studio. To get there she had to use the elevator, which was at the end of the main lobby. Just after she called the elevator a man approached her.

„Excuse me” He tried not to smile at her, but obviously couldn’t. „I am Henry’s friend. I mean Henry Cavill’s friend. I’m Colin. I am such a fan of yours. I really enjoy your show very much. I so wanted to meet you. Man, you look even better in person. I mean you look wonderful on screen! But in person, you are even more beautiful. I’m sorry, I’m babbling. I know that.” He shook his head and laughed. „I will wait here for Henry. I just. I am your fan, really.”

Naomi was so amused by this situation but it felt really nice what the man had to say. „Thank you, Colin. It’s really nice to hear that. So, if you are a fan of the show, maybe you’d like to see it from the inside? Come with me!”

They both entered the elevator, which lead them to the tenth floor.

„Good evening everyone!” Naomi said rushing through the studio towards two huge sofas located in the centre side of the stage. Her guest was sitting on one of these.

„Mr Cavill, very nice to meet you.” she extended her hand. Henry immediately stood up and shook her hand.

“It’s Henry, Nice to meet you too. Confession time. I must admit I am quite nervous to be here. You can be so abrupt to your quests!” He was partly teasing of course, but not quite.

“Me abrupt?!” She exclaimed with and smirked. “Nobody has ever told me that! When have I been abrupt?”

“I remember the episode with Jesse McBell, the theatre director and how you baptized him for not knowing who Grotowski was! I so watched it yesterday, just to prepare for the worst.” He laughed.

“Oh no. I do remember that! Was that abrupt reaction, really??” She giggled. She did remember that encounter. The guy was so full of himself, there was no discussion with him – each movie Naomi asked about was “shit”, each director was a “spoiled wannabe”. Only Jesse McBell was the greatest. Naomi as a typical hot-tempered person decided to teach him a lesson. On vision. That was very unprofessional, obviously. She regretted being so harsh. It turned out though, that it was one of the most watched and liked episodes of the season. “But I tell you what. Fear not! I am a huge fan of the Witcher, so I will be gentle with you. Promise.” She gave him the sweetest smile. “Please take a seat.”

They both sat on the sofas, facing each other.

“So. Are you the game fan or the books fan?” Henry lifted his eyebrow and smiled at his host.

“Mostly books. I’ve started to play only a couple of months ago. I can’t complete one task. I just have no idea how to..” Naomi stopped talking as she heard the director’s voice in her earphone. “40 seconds to get on air.” She smiled at Henry, who obviously was a bit nervous. “No worries, today I am as gentle as a little puppy.” They both chuckled.

A few seconds later they started rolling. The interview went very well. Naomi kept her promise, but couldn’t deny herself to tease Henry a little bit about his nervousness. Henry felt almost intimidated each time she asked questions and looked at him with her piercing grey eyes. He was impressed by her knowledge about the movie industry and the acting methods. He enjoyed the form of this encounter. It was rather a conversation than a typical interview.

“So … I hope it wasn’t as bad as you expected it to be. I wouldn’t like to become your nightmare.” She said after they heard “cut” in their earphones.

Henry stood up so that the staff could remove his micro. “No, no. It was a real pleasure. I mean it. You have quite a big knowledge about acting methods. Have you ever tried to perform?”

“Well. Yes and no. I have a master degree in acting. I graduated drama school in London and I did a three - month course in Moscow. It was my dream once. So at school I was performing, mostly in theatres. I really enjoyed working on a role and acting in theatre. I did some movie projects but just small indie productions. The surrounding though was not for me. I mean the castings, convincing everyone that I’m prettier, slimmer, fatter, taller, smaller, better, more talented. No. That’s not for me. So, I started to work as a radio reporter. For a short time, I prepared criminal podcasts. That was so cool, I really liked that! Then I moved to the cultural news section as one of the reporters got fired and I was a drama school graduate. And then it just happened, I got the offer to work here.”

“Don’t you regret that you gave up acting?”

“I once did. For a moment. It happened when my friend was a guest of the show, she studied with me. She’s a great actress. When I interviewed her, just for a second, I felt like – oh, it could have been me. But I believe everything happens for a reason.”

Naomi didn’t even notice Colin, who approached them.

“Oh. Naomi, this is my friend Colin. He’s a real fan of yours. And the reason of my nervousness. He showed the bloody episode to me!” Henry laughed and patted his friend’s arm. “He couldn’t wait to meet you”.

“Yes, we’ve already met today.” She turned towards Colin, who was smiling shyly. “Are you from movie industry?”

Both Henry and Colin looked at each other and laughed. “God no!” Colin shook his head. “I would never agree to work in that industry, no money could convince me. Ever. I’m an accountant.”

“Oh ok.” Naomi raised her eyebrow “I’ve never been good at numbers. Unfortunately. I spend money way too easily. Afterwards I always cry.”

“Oh. So, you need a good accountant!” Colin exclaimed.

“Or a rich husband.” Henry looked at Colin and wrapped his around his friend. “But of course, a good accountant would be a much better choice!” He couldn’t believe that after all these years of friendship, teasing Colin has still been so amusing.

“Well thank you gentlemen for your wonderful advice, but I have to announce that I already had a rich husband, and it took me three years to divorce, and I do have an accountant. But to prove my appreciation for your advice, I’d like to invite you to the party held by BBN on Friday evening.” She whispered “They throw great parties.”

Henry was to thank her for an invitation, and explain that he wasn’t sure if his schedule allows him to participate, but Colin was quicker.

“But of course, we will be there! Wonderful. Thank you, Naomi.”

She chuckled lightly and looked at Henry “So, Sarah will contact your agent and provide you with all the details. I will sign you both up on the guests list, and if you can make it, you’re welcomed. It was a pleasure to meet both of you.” Naomi shook Henry’s and Colin’s hands and headed back to her office.

Before she reached the elevator, Henry, who apparently rushed after her, stopped her.

“Naomi, I’m sorry I just checked up my phone and I can’t make it to the party on Friday. I have a family meeting. I can’t let them down.”

Naomi just nodded. She felt a bit disappointed, which was strange to her. She hasn’t felt anything like that for at least two years. Ever since she got divorced, she’s become emotionally numb. It has been very hard to disappoint her, as she didn’t care for anything at all. Excluding her tv work and her charity, these two years have been filled with parties, lots of expensive trips, shopping and flirting, just for sport. “Well, it’s a pity. I thought that I’d get more brilliant advice, like the one about getting a rich husband.” She chuckled. “But of course, I do understand. No worries.”

“Yes… I have some more in stock.” He smiled. After a minute of awkward silence, he added “How about having a lunch this week? We could continue our conversation about movies and the Witcher game, as you’ve said you couldn’t complete a task.”

Two women approached them as they needed to use the elevator. Once they realized who is standing next to them, they looked at each other, at Naomi, at Henry and started giggling, which made Naomi laugh. So, after a second, all of them were laughing.

“Oh God you act as if we didn’t have famous, handsome guests in here!” Naomi rolled her eyes.

“Naomi, you obviously do have them on your tenth floor. We don’t! Sooo. Can we ask for a photo? I know it’s so lame. I feel ashamed asking, but still. Can we?” One of the women put out her phone.

“Of course!” Henry smiled at them, and posed for the photos. Afterwards, satisfied women entered the elevator, and he turned to Naomi. “So?”

“So? Oh, the lunch! Yes, sure we can catch up later this week.” She handed him her business card with the phone number. “If you’re around, just call me”.

“I certainly will! Have a good day Naomi.”

“You too. Goodbye.” She smiled at him one last time, and entered the elevator, which has just arrived.

***

#henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x other female character #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfiction #series

[thecaffeinebookwarrior]

More Female Characters to Avoid in Your Writing

A long while back, I typed up some posts ranting about characters and tropes I disliked.  These were Male and Female Characters to Avoid in Your Writing, and they’ve become my most popular posts yet.  Recently, I was struck by some topical inspiration, and decided it was time for a sequel!  

One again, these are my personal, subjective opinions!  No one dictates your writing or portrayals but you, and no one can or should decide how you consume fiction.  Also, as you may notice, I actually like most of the ladies below;  I just don’t like certain aspects of their portrayal.

Enjoy, and happy writing everybody! 

1.  The Daenerys (i.e. the spontaneous war criminal)

Image source

Who she is:

The formerly heroic Mother of Dragons, who randomly charbroiled a city full of innocent people.

Why it sucks:

I’m not even talking about this from a feminist standpoint, or how one of the most consistently heroic and powerful female characters took an abrupt and undignified backflip into the Dark Side.  I’m speaking from a writer’s standpoint.  

Regardless of whether you liked Daenerys, she was rivaled only by Jon and Brienne as the show’s most consistently heroic character  From locking away her dragon children to ensure the safety of her subjects, to freeing countless enslaved citizens, she’s spent a decade proving herself to be an altruistic and noble figure.  And then, in the final two episodes of the entire show, the writers dracarys-ed that shit.

For some comparison, just imagine how ridiculous it would be if Jon Snow suddenly went batshit and started hacking up citizens because he was feeling stressed.  That’s about as plausible as Dany’s sudden passion for genocide.

And for the record, I’m not opposed to Daenerys becoming Mad Queen.  If it was done properly. This would mean informing the actress far in advance so she could modify her portrayal accordingly (which they didn’t), and building up to it through foreshadowing and established attributes.  Not at the last fucking minute.

Honestly, the only characters who remained narratively consistent to the very end are Drogon and Ghost, who are both precious babies who did nothing wrong.  

How to avoid her:

Decide as early as possible where a character arc is going.  Contrary to what Game of Thrones seems to believe, the character arc is important.  It should have a beginning, challenges that incite development, and a satisfying conclusion that showcases how a character has changed and evolved.  

And if you didn’t decide early?  You still have to come up with a conclusion that makes sense for your character, and not slap on the most unexpected ending possible in the name of Subverting Expectations.

On that note?  Subverting expectations isn’t always a good thing, and a reader predicting your ending isn’t the worst possible outcome.  Focus on telling a good story.  

2.  The Rayon (i.e. the transgender stereotype)

Who she is:

A transgender woman (portrayed by the male, cisgender Jared Leto) dying slowly of AIDS in Dallas Buyer’s Club.  Her role in the narrative is to teach the supposedly heterosexual (more on that later) main character that queer people are human beings.  

Why it sucks:

Rayon is many things in Buyer’s Club, and most are firmly rooted in stereotypes.  She’s a sassy, flirtatious, clothing-obsessed, self-loathing, drug-addicted prostitute.   She’s hypersexual, but never treated as romantically desirable.  She’s tragic, but also one of the few consistently comedic characters in an otherwise bleak film. 

It’s her job to gently goad the main character into treating her with basic respect, but he never quite gets there.  He refers to her with male pronouns throughout the entire film, and never acknowledges her as a woman.  At one point, he aims a gun at her genitals and offers her a “sex change operation.”  Which, is supposed to be comedic.

This isn’t to say that there are no sassy, flirtatious, clothing-obsessed, self-loathing, drug-addicted transgender sex workers, nor is there anything wrong with “stereotypical” trans people.  It isn’t the job of the marginalized to dispel stereotypes.  And if real trans people had created and portrayed Rayon, she could have been a realistic, dynamic, and compelling character.

And I say “created” because Rayon is strictly fictional.  Outside of this film, she didn’t exist.  

“Well, at least they tried to offer representation!”  you protest.  “What else was it supposed to be about?  A straight dude in the AIDS epidemic?”

Well, no.  Though the main character, Ron Woodroof, is presented to us as a violently homophobic, transphobic, womanizing asshole, the real Woodroof was, by all accounts, kind-hearted, open-minded, and bisexual.  

What could have been a powerful story of a queer man defying his diagnosis, living joyfully and meaningfully, and helping to prolong the lives of countless AIDS-sufferers, was instead watered down to a story of a straight, pugnacious asshole and his stereotypical, long-suffering, transgender sidekick who dies to Teach Him Compassion.  

How to avoid her:

Read books by trans people.  Consume media they create or endorse.  

List of youtube channels created by trans people here, and 21 books for trans awareness month here.

Put out a special call for transgender beta readers to point out mistakes, misconceptions, and offer tips on an authentic portrayal.

Garner insight into their perspective and experiences, and give them personalities outside of being trans.  

3.  The Piper Chapman (i.e. the unflavored oatmeal)

GIF source

Who she is:

The “protagonist” of Orange is the New Black, and its least compelling character.  She and Larry are the sort of people who would ask me for a threesome on Tinder.  

Why it sucks:

Piper’s hook is that she’s a privileged, affluent white woman who unjustly finds herself in prison for -- well, for crimes she committed.  But expected to get away with, because, Privilege.

This isn’t to say Piper is boring.  She’s far from likable, but being likable and being boring aren’t the same thing.  In another series, watching a relatively cushioned, naive, bourgeoisie woman string along various significant others, thoughtlessly incite violence, and navigate an unfamiliar prison setting would make for thought-provoking and hilarious satire.  

But when compared to her charismatic supporting cast, with richly developed backstories, motivations, and relationships, she’s painfully bland.  I would much rather watch a series centered around Suzanne, Nikki, Taystee, Poussey, or even Pennsatucky.  They’re just more developed, opulent, enjoyable characters. 

It could be argued that Piper is the viewpoint character, whom the audience is supposed to relate to.  But I can assert that I don’t relate to Piper.  At all.  Her lack of empathy towards others -- such as leaving Alex after the death of her mother, cheating on her fiance, and inadvertently starting a *ahem* white power gang -- alienated me to her.  

Which might not be such a bad thing, but Piper is (supposedly) the protagonist.  We don’t need to like her, but we should probably be able to relate to her.

Or maybe I’m just jealous that hot women aren’t inexplicably fighting over me.

How to avoid her:

Your protagonist doesn’t have to be the most likable character in your story.  They don’t even necessarily have to be the most interesting character in your story.  And certainly not the most morally good, powerful, or knowledgeable.  But the viewpoint character is the character who we spend the most time with, and from whose eyes we perceive the story.  It’s important that we understand and relate to them emotionally.

Look at examples like BoJack Horseman, Holden Caulfield, Tony Soprano, Beatrix from Kill Bill, Mavis from Young Adult, Nadia from Russian Doll.  All are complex characters, with varying degrees of moral ambiguity.  Yet we can empathize with them emotionally and identify with them.  Even if we’ve never been in their situation, we see where they’re coming from.

4.  The Charlie (i.e. the dead lesbian)

Who she is:

One of the few recurring openly queer characters in the incredibly long-running Supernatural.  A lesbian who’s journey was (sort of) brought to an end when she was killed and dumped in a bathtub to incite drama.

Why it sucks:

I love Supernatural  but it can be remarkably tone deaf towards queer people, women, and marginalized groups.  Which, probably merits fixing, considering its following is largely comprised of queer people, women, and marginalized groups.  

I probably shouldn’t have to explain why killing off women and queer people for drama is Bad, but I’ll delve into its history a little:  from what I’ve read, censorship laws of the twentieth century forbade the portrayal of queer people unless they were ultimately killed or “reformed.”  This is why so much LGBTQ+ fiction is essentially gay tragedy porn, and why gays are so frequently buried to aid in the emotional narrative of their straight counterparts.  

That’s not to say queer people can never be killed off.  I might not have an issue with Charlie’s death (especially in a show as violent as Supernatural), if she weren’t the only openly queer character at the time.  

And there’s plenty of room for representation!  If Dean was openly bisexual, if angels were vocally confirmed to be nonbinary, and if there were more recurring, respectfully portrayed female and sapphic characters, Charlie’s death might not feel like such as slap in the face.  But as it is, it feels like a contribution to an ugly pattern.

In fairness, Supernatural has since improved in its portrayal of queer people:  two gay male hunters were introduced and given a happy ending, an alternate universe version of Charlie was introduced to the cast, and God is portrayed as a bisexual man.  

Yes.  All of that happened.  You have to see it to understand.

How to avoid her:

Educate yourself on the history of censorship in the LGBTQ+ community, as well as hate crimes and decreased life expectancy.  Make sure you aren’t contributing to the suffering of queer people.

If you have only one confirmed queer character in the midst of a very large cast, I’m inclined to think you need more.  You could say I’m BI-ased on the matter, though.

Look up “fridging,” and think about how many stories use the death of female characters to incite drama for men.

5.  The Allison (i.e. the reformed feminine)

GIF source

Who she is:

She’s one of the most interesting members of the Breakfast Club, and that’s saying something.  A self-proclaimed compulsive liar who will “do anything sexual” with or without the promise of a million dollars (as well as one of the most quotable characters in the film) she demonstrates the emotional pain and complexity that’s often ignored or shrugged off as teen angst.  

And then she gets a makeover and a hot boyfriend, and suddenly everything’s better.  

Why it sucks:

It would be one thing if Allison’s problem was that she didn’t feel pretty or desirable.  But she never (to my recollection) offers any indication of that, and that’s part of what makes her such a refreshing portrayal of insecurity.  She’s emotionally neglected by her parents, and that is appropriately treated as devastating.  

It’s a complex and beautifully-portrayed problem that deserved far more than such a superficial, slapped-on solution.

Similarly, there’s no reason why Allison is paired up with the jock at the end of the film.  Neither showed any romantic interest in one another until her unnecessary makeover.  

A much better ending to her arc would be her finding acceptance among her newfound friends, and finally garner the recognition and acknowledgement she never got from her parents. 

I was torn between using Allison for this example, or Sandy’s makeover from Grease.  In both, girls are encouraged to alter their appearances to solve plot-related problems.  And both were “fixed” to conform to some standard of femininity or feminine sexuality that they didn’t meet before.

How to avoid her:

If a character feels the need to change their appearance to accommodate others or be respected, that should probably be treated as a negative thing.

Your character’s appearance can be a good tool to represent emotional changes.  If they alter their appearance, there should be a meaningful reason behind it -- outside of fitting into societal norms or garnering the approval of others. 

A girl putting on makeup isn’t a groundbreaking plot point, and girls who don’t perform to standards of femininity aren’t broken or deficient.  They don’t need “correcting.”

#writing #writing tips #writing advice #game of thrones #daenerys targaryen #jon snow #game of thrones spoilers #transphobia #orange is the new black #supernatural #fridging #homophobia #charlie bradbury #the breakfast club #grease #sexism

[untaintedtea]

I should have written this earlier when Witcher Netflix was more fresh in my mind (I haven't done a proper rewatch yet) but I still wanted to write a post about some thoughts I had (that I actually remember lol) and stuff I want in the next season. It's like 99% about Geralt/Yen/Ciri bc I have three brain cells and they're dedicated to them.

The spoiler-free stuff: I definitely loved it! There's some scenes in the book that I would have loved to have seen on screen that I'll mention later, but I really liked it for the most part. My main issue is the pacing, but I understand them trying to fit so much into only 8 episodes -- I hope next season will have at least 10 or even 12 eps to fully flesh out the storylines. There were times where I wondered how easy it was to follow if you didn't know the books, and it seems that it's kinda been mixed? But all-in-all people are loving it, there's lots of memes and new content, and I'm happy about that.

Yennefer's backstory and Anya Chalotra were the highlights for me, and I loved Tissaia as well. By "I haven't done a proper rewatch" I mean that I've only rewatched the first ep (Renfri ❤️) and the parts with Geralt/Yennefer lmao. I'll prob watch it all again later on. Now to the spoilery stuff (includes some refs to the books):

Some specific stuff I liked:

Geralt finally being able to sleep in the Last Wish episode and then him saying in the next ep that before he met Yen, "nights were restless" so she/the thought of her helps him sleep now? lol

Yen touching Geralt's face after he tells her she's important to him as if she can't believe she's important to someone right then and needs to make sure he's real or that she's not dreaming 😭

Téa and Véa and how they actually talked instead of not really communicating well themselves in the books

Yen's elven blood being emphasized and it being a thing that allows her to be naturally inclined towards magic…idek I'm just into that lmao

Geralt "hm"-ing all the time was excellent and is, unfortunately, v relatable

I wasn't gonna say this but since I posted about his casting on my blog previously…I'm still not a fan of Henry but I cannot deny his knowledge and dedication to Geralt and the Witcher lore, and I think he portrayed Geralt very well to the point where I don’t think I imagine anyone else playing the role now? I really mean this bc before I refused to reblog/tweet anything with him in it bc I’m petty LMAO

This is obvious but Toss a Coin to Your Witcher is the song of the year and Her Sweet Kiss is also good. @ netflix soundtrack WHEN

Some stuff I have issues with:

Istredd getting an expanded storyline is fine with me (and will probably set up better angst) but I wish he didn't do the thing Geralt does in Thanedd where he thinks about things Yen likes…I guess that's minor by itself, but Geralt thinking about the house in Thanedd is so important and I hope at least they keep that for the future. Also making the imaginary sorcerers Yennefer conjured up clap like in Thanedd is like…ok I'll allow it but Thanedd better be Extra Good bc I remember reading the part where they're in bed again when I wanted to make myself upset lmao

I wish we got the line when Geralt first called Yennefer "Yen" because "nobody's ever called me that. Say it again" is SO POWERFUL and I think that would have helped set up Geralt/Yen better in the series. Anya did describe the relationship as "animalistic and full of lust" and honestly that's fair but I also want people to understand why tf I'm smiling when we watch them fuck after the last wish instead of being like "ok but where did this come from" lmao. Yeah they’re horny af but pls!!!

Tbh I just want more Angst...like in the Bounds of Reason ep, the "you left" thing and Geralt asking for forgiveness was so short and would have been better if they just…expanded on it a little more…idek this is where I really wished they had an extra episode or two just to elaborate :/

The lack of baby dragon is so sad tbh. I liked that they did without Yen getting her titties exposed and threatened with rape obviously but the baby dragon running over to Yen tho!!

Ciri is my sweet child whom I love dearly and I understand her storyline but I wasn't super into her parts in a way? It makes sense since she's running and hiding and I felt her panic and loneliness and all that, but I think this could have only been fixed if they did Brokilon like in the books. I guess they'd have to cut down on Calanthe maybe?

As for the "Who is Yennefer?" ending:

I know many book readers weren't super satisfied with this, since ofc this is the famous "you're something more" scene, but I think it's fine within the context of the show because of the way Brokilon was handled (obviously I would have liked to see Geralt + Ciri interactions so we could have gotten “something more” though). It also sets up a connection between Yen + Ciri early on -- not really a strong one, but a connection nonetheless. And ofc it makes sense to people who don't know the books, and this is an adaptation after all.

I wish it wasn't as abrupt though? The fact that Ciri's first words to Geralt were about Yennefer is kind of a weird, but I guess that Ciri's vision was so vivid she couldn't help it maybe? And her mentioning Yennefer after Geralt talked about being linked by destiny enforces that it's all three of them linked.

I think this ending line allows for flashbacks via communication? Like if Geralt were to tell Ciri about Yen (and Yen telling Ciri about Geralt), they could elaborate on the relationship between Geralt/Yennefer that way and maybe have a flashback episode or at least a few scenes. I don’t really imagine Geralt saying too much about Yen but still?

So that takes us to things I want in the next season (not exhaustive; I need to do a BoE re-read):

The Dear Friend letter!!

And obviously before that, Triss staying at Kaer Morhen for a while…I wouldn't mind if they completely wrote out any attraction she had to Geralt ofc, but Ciri being sure that Triss is "not Geralt's woman" is also good

Imagine Ciri reading Yennefer's mind and accidentally seeing her thoughts about Geralt…not that she'd even need to though, as long as Yen tells Ciri that Geralt's hands are very gentle is enough lmao. But I'd love the "what is there between you and Geralt" line! In general, I really want Yen/Geralt to be like, the most obvious thing to the audience lol.

Yen telling Ciri that she's lucky bc Ciri knows that Geralt will come back for her and Yen isn't sure that Geralt would do the same for her 😭

Since they're doing the story with Nivellen, I'm hoping for other short stories to be adapted too. My favourite is A Shard of Ice, and I read that it's Henry's favourite too so I'm optimistic about it being included somehow. And since Istredd has a bigger role, it could work? ALSO WE NEED EVERYONE TO KNOW ABOUT THE UNICORN. PLEASE

Flashbacks to Belleteyn (is having another orgy scene ok. pls say yes) and the Geralt seeing that the 14th name on the hill wasn't Yennefer. He wanted to die again ahhhhhhh

Yarpen asking Geralt "is [Ciri] yours?"

More Jaskier songs about Geralt/Yen…even just one pls

And more angst bc like. There's so much come on lmao hurt the audience

A lot of Yennefer + Ciri. Just a Lot of it.

#untaintedtext #sorry this is long bc i can't keep things short lmao #the witcher #the witcher spoilers #tagging bc i'm lonely bc i creep instead of interacting LMAO #it's long tho i don't expect ppl to read it haha #but it's still time for Sam's Opinion #anyway @ all my friends and followers hi have you see the witcher yet

[shriekthemighty]

High School (and Middle School) Never Ends

For years I have occasionally thought back to the videos that made my youth. Salad Fingers, Cat with Hands. Spoilsbury Toast Boy. The first two were amusing, if off-putting at times. Fond memories of my youth. But Spoilsbury Toast Boy is a hectic flashback mirage of deeply unsettling imagery. I like to think of myself as someone who isn’t easily scared. I found Salad Fingers amusing. Cat with Hands was mildly creepy at best. After one viewing I vowed to never watch Spoilsbury Toast Boy again.

Every time I remember Spoilsbury Toast Boy, I resolve myself to rewatch it. To prove to myself that it’s not as intensely unnerving as I remember. Every time, I forget. Like my mind is protecting me from what I have mostly forgotten. 

But today that will change. Today I will rewatch Spoilsbury Toast Boy for the first time in about a decade.

But first. Salad Fingers! I figured it was a good starting place on the creepy scale, as I can understand why some people would find it unnerving. And I’ve heard there’s been some new content since I was a kid! So let’s go!

Episode 1: Was this a youtube thing originally? That doesn’t seem right. And 11 episodes??? I feel like there were maybe 5 last time I looked? Granted, that was almost a decade ago. I’m making myself feel old. But now! The first episode!

“The feeling of rust against my salad fingers is almost orgasmic.” Iconic. THE quote that dominated my early teen years.

The rusty kettle thing feels like it’s there to just make him look like a creep, but ALSO feels like some weird foreshadowing or something. It’s been so long. idk.

Episode 2: The introduction of the finger friends! The real start, in a first watch, to indicate that Salad Fingers is maybe a bit fucked up. And the abrupt language change is interesting. This is all familiar so far.

“I like it when the red water comes out...” Okay, this is when it should probably start being unsettling? A humanoid figure is presumably burned alive while the non humanoid is getting off on impaling his finger. But. I’m not upset? This feels normal for the times? What were the early 2000′s.

Real world references to bring the weirdness home! Very good! And a finger friend now seemingly in the flesh! The episode ends with a return to the oven and the ‘fish’ about done. Still all things I remember

Episode 3: There is so much, in only the first few minutes of this video. Oh boy. Is it a product of the times, or ahead of them? Only time will tell. I don’t even have the energy to talk about ‘milk from the teat’ of Salad Fingers being produced via masochistic acts and just... I’m too tired. This is a quarantine adjacent nostalgia tour blog.

I took a break and am now restarting this the next day. The flute playing is, interesting? As is the more humanoid but clearly mutated figure being so intent on killing Salad Fingers.

Episode 4: A person is watching him so he just... goes home. I feel that.

This child loves him. Why???

A bug! Little sister.

I love the post apocalyptic implications of his house having a number on the door. And a trap! A grubby tap trap!

There is so much phallic imagery happening.

And he just... bamfs out! The poor child is sad. Riding taps into the sunset...

Episode 5: The broken phone and forgetting Hubert’s name is interesting. All still somewhat familiar. I’m pretty sure I’ve see this episode before.

Dressed as a bride and distressed. Not just a picnic, a wedding. Guests imminent!

One of the finger friends in the window does NOT like him having a new playmate!

THE BIRD. THE BIRD STOLE THE SPOON! OH NO!

The girl talking is definitely significant. Interesting

Episode 6: Someone is in the house, and the finger friends are back! He remembers Hubert’s name this time. Bye bye Jeremy!

Wash those bad thoughts away. The toilet (somehow still able to flush) knows things.

He’s eating... himself? Another Salad Fingers? Who knows. The toilet knows.

Episode 7: Floor sugar.

I can never tell if this is one of those things where there’s all some deeper meaning, or if it’s just meant to be weird and senseless. Is Kenneth actually his brother? Was there a great war? Idk, I’m drunk.

The tree “barely shuffled an inch” a way of keeping sane? Making sure all is in its place? I’m reading too much into this.

In a dress once more. I want this to be a gender thing, but I don’t think it is.

Episode 8: Filling a clearly broken radio with... metal pellets? Buckshot? And Things are happening.

Hiding in the safety cupboard with a ‘special hair” dragged across the eye. Interesting. Multiple special hairs.

By the end of this I fully expect The Revenge of Hubert Cumberdale.

Oh someone wants their hair back! A ghost??

Goodbye special hairs. The safety cupboard is the crying cupboard now.

Episode 9: The animation style seems different here. I’m not sure I saw the last episode, but I’m almost positive I haven’t seen this one.

Oh shit. Baby Yvonne.

Wtf is up with his salad fingers!!!

Use your “baby” to clean the windows and then eat a sandwich. At first I thought he didn’t want to give up Yvonne, but now I think he just realized it wasn’t a baby and came up with another reason he must have gone there?

Episode 10: WAY nicer animation immediately. This was obviously done years after the original ones.

Milford is still there and it’s Hubert’s birthday! Oh shit!

A shiny new monolith thing, here to bring salvation and the end of Salad Fingers’ world?

Oh the detail on that is HORRIFYING. I miss the low quality now.

Hubert Jason!

Well. Dr. Papanak is terrifying.

That took an unexpected turn. Poor horse.

And... more horses. Okay. Also, does Salad Fingers look older suddenly? Sounds older too.

More Salad Fingers!! Oh poor boy, he’s seeing what he would have (should have?) become. He’s all alone.

The monolith is moving!

...okay then.

Episode 11: The last episode! How will it end?

Fighting with his finger friends, so sad.

I REALLY don’t like the detail on the fingers now. Better animation is not always a good thing. Does help the creepy factor though.

New Hubert is awful and glass mother is entirely unsurprising. Let’s see where it leads!

Very Gollum/Smeagol. Interesting.

Yeah, saw that coming. Bye, Hubert!

Through the puddle, rescue Hubert! And... do that, I guess. Will Hubert seek revenge yet?

Huh. So that’s all of Salad Fingers. I enjoyed it, but I understand nothing

Spoilsbury Toastboy Time!

Episode The Title One: Oh shit it’s by the same guy! That makes sense.

Idk if I’ve ever seen this one. I watched the one titled episode 1 first.

Oh wait yes, I think I have seen this! The beetle goes into his ear and that’s why he sees beetles!

Oh. Well. Things can’t be wrong if you’re dead, I guess!

Episode 1: I technically watched this one first, so that’s important.

Already very intense. Kill grandma!

Speckled huckleberry leaves. That’s the thing that made Salad Fingers sick, I think!

Grandma burning in the fire. I remember that!

For some reason I remembered the beetles as crickets? I have a very clear memory of this.

Episode 2: Quite the young gentleman. And then straight to work! Sounds about right.

Corporate slavery seeming all normal, and back to grandma! I feel like she was a big part of why this terrified me as a teen, so let’s see.

Oh the beetles are fucking. I think one fucks grandma at some point? Yup, there it is! They’re raping grandma. Cool.

This just seems... senselessly cruel? Like, not even entertainingly grimdark. Why did this used to scare me. I’ve finished it and I’m just annoyed that I wasted my time.

Bonus: Cat With Hands!

Since I mentioned it in the intro, I figured I’d watch this one again too. I remember finding it mildly creepy. More so than Salad Fingers, but way less than Spoilsbury Toast Boy.

The guy who hasn’t spoken is the cat, right? I remember this. He just needs a tongue.

Wow this animation is BAD. But that almost makes it better? It works, for the story.

Yup, just as I remembered. I think this one is probably only scary the first time, when you don’t know what to expect.

#salad fingers #cat with hands #spoilsbury toast boy #childhood #me

[dillion-langdon]

I Fell out of Heaven to be with You in Hell Part 2

Sub!Michael x Reader

Summary: Reader experiences traumatic flashbacks of Michael’s past when they are intimate, so they consult his Ms. Mead. Little bits of humour in the beginning. The sex starts closer to the middle if you just wanna skip to that part. lol

First part can be found here.

Warnings: sub!Michael x Reader, young!Michael, fem!reader, smut, fingering, sexual intercourse, mention of post traumatic stress, mention of disassociation, talk of Christianity and demons, dirty talk, sexual tension, humour, fluff.

Word count: 4K. 

Side note: I based the sex part off of my own personal experiences with boyfriends(two that is) I was in love with. Even the post traumatic stress part. My first boyfriend had an episode in the middle of us doing it and it really sucked... Anyways! *sigh* Can you tell I’ve been single for far too long? Cause I can lmao *I need help*

________________________________________________________

One late night, in your room, you and Michael were in a pretty heavy make out session, when all of a sudden you were seeing flashes of a little blonde boy inside of your head. He was holding a bloodied, mangled cat and he was crying.  An older lady, you assumed who was Constance, was scolding him but you couldn’t make out what she was saying. As if on cue, Michael abruptly pulled away, eyes wide with fear and shoulders tensed.

“I-I’m s-s-sorry! I didn’t know that was inside of me.”

You gaped. This never really happened before, you seeing intimate, hidden memories of his past. Memories he chose to bury deep. Memories he had long forgotten. You remember him telling you once, how his childhood was a blur, how it was too painful for him to deal with and how he somehow forced himself to forget most of it. This broke your heart. You loved Michael so much and couldn’t bare to imagine him in that much pain where he basically had to disassociate with it.

“Baby, it’s okay,” you soothed. You caressed the side of his face and lovingly took his hand into yours. It easily engulfed yours and you gave it a reassuring, affectionate squeeze. His shoulders relaxed.

“Why is this happening to me, (Y/N)?”

You paused. Ever since you two became sexually involved—which was months after you guys started dating, you would see instances of him when he was younger. They happened abrupt enough where you could only see flashes of his face and that was it. Never like this. This is was a full on scene and this was the first time you saw someone else, and Constance above all.

“Mmm, maybe it’s because—you know, that we’re intimate now?” You wondered out loud.

“But I don’t wanna remember those things,” he weakly spoke. His eyes started to water and his bottom lip quivered. Your heart sank. You scooted closer to him and wrapped both of your arms tightly around Michael, right away he buried his head into the crook of your neck and started to lightly sob. His body shaking against yours. You could feel his pain. It was too overwhelming. All you could do was to hold him close and tight. And you never wanted to let go. You absolutely hated seeing this beautiful young man of yours being rendered into a hopeless, broken little boy.

“Please make it stop,” his voice was muffled by your neck and it hitched as he sobbed harder. You felt so utterly helpless. He was in ruin.

“Shhh, it’s okay, Michael,” you kissed the top of his head and started to gently rock him back and forth. “We’re gonna figure this out, okay?” You felt his long arms hug you harder, as if he was holding onto you for dear life.

“I love you, (Y/N),” he was still sobbing into your neck, his tears soaking your sweater. You had to figure this out, whatever it took.

The next morning, the both of you sat nervously at Miriam’s kitchen table. Despite breakfast being his favourite, strawberry French toast, Michael didn’t touch his food. He coyishly played with his fork, knowing that he had to talk about something embarrassing with the one person he considered the closest thing to a mother.

Miriam sat down across the table and quizzically looked from you to Michael, who was clearly not scarfing his food down like usual. “What’s the matter? You love French toast, more than my first husband did.”

You apprehensively put your arms on the table and started playing with your fingers, not knowing where to start.

“Uh, we sort of have a problem...” you spoke hesitantly.

Miriam’s eyes bulged and she exclaimed, “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

“What! No!” You and Michael both shouted in unison, quick to defend the obvious. You turned to Michael and he looked scared shitless. His face was pink. Clearly his dear Ms. Mead must of found out about the two of you having sex.

“Oh, dear Dark Lord!” she rolled her eyes and sighed heavily with relief, hand on chest in exasperation. “I know there’s supposed to be a backup, but that’s not for years, not until after you won the witches—”

“We keep seeing flashes of my past,” Michael cut her off. You could see him shifting in his seat, not wanting to say exactly how and when these flashes occurred. You took notice and cleared your throat.

“When we… er, are together-together,” you did air quotes, not wanting to say the dirty word in front of her. After all, she was your close friend and you were technically banging her adopted son. “We end up seeing memories of his childhood, the ones he forgot about...” You darted your eyes back down to your hands, closely examining the dark nail polish that was chipped.

Miriam was quiet. This made you nervous so you quickly looked up and she was deep in thought. She suddenly stood and walked around the table to her altar. You could hear books and trinkets being shuffled around until you heard what sounded like a heavy thud and something hefty being pulled out from underneath a heavier object. You turned and saw her holding a large, threadbare book that was titled in Latin. You only spoke English so you had no idea in hell what she was reading. She flipped through a few pages until she came across something that made her go, “Aha!”

Michael grabbed your hand under the table and squeezed hard, you gave him a reassuring look, hoping his Ms. Mead found the answer.

After she was reading, she explained how is father wanted him to remember his past. How it would fuel his powers and make him stronger, and the only way this were to happen was by being with you. When she said that you blushed. You knew Michael was special, but you? What’s so special about you?

She continued on about some Christian mumbo-jumbo that you had trouble following, but what you could get out of it, was that somehow you were the incarnation of Lilith or Awan or one of those demonesses; you were put here on Earth to shepherd Michael, the Antichrist towards full reign and terror of the Apocalypse.

You were stunned into silence. Michael was still holding your hand, albeit they were sweaty, he still held on tight. With the book still in hand, Miriam made her way back around the table and took a seat. Her head turned from you to Michael, then back to you, awaiting a response. She slapped her hands down on the table, startling you both.

“Well, I think that solves that there kiddos.”

Still nothing. Just shock.

Miriam heaved her chest, “C’mon, it’s not like I didn’t know what was going on!” Your cheeks flushed harder. “It was bound to happen, I just wasn’t sure when.” She laughed and you could feel Michael’s horror.

His mouth fell open, and shaking his head, he quickly said, “It’s not like that,” he suddenly stood up and you were forcefully yanked out of your seat as Michael still had a Terminator grip on your hand and you awkwardly stood up, trying to find your balance. “We love each other.” That last bit came out louder than he intended and his voice cracked mid-sentence.

You and Michael loved each other. You just never told anyone.

Miriam’s whole face beamed with joy at those words and before you could react she was hugging you both, her one hand in Michael’s hair as she playfully ruffled it. This was literally the most awkward sex conversation you ever had. You normally pride yourself on being comfortable with your promiscuity and sharing details with others, but this, this was weird and uncomfortable.

As soon as Miriam let go of the overly enthusiastic embrace, she grabbed her coffee mug and left the room, humming to herself. You and Michael—with his now messy hair, just stood there, gaping at each other. What the hell just happened?

It wasn’t until later that Miriam mentioned to you over coffee, how she found a condom pack in Michael’s jeans one day when she was doing laundry and how it made her smile. You spat out your coffee.

What the fuck.

You had to gently put it to her how yes, you two are close friends but discussing you and Michael’s sex life was off the table. She just laughed at this and said, it’s not like she bore him when he was a child. You had to sigh and just remind yourself to be, very, very vague about these things around her. The last thing you wanted was to picture Miriam standing in the corner of the room as you and Michael went at it. The thought of this made you shudder in horror. Why did you guys have to go to her? Why couldn’t you just pick one of the other Cardinals at the Church for advice? Ugh.

Unfortunately, this whole incident put sex off the table for a few days.

A few nights have passed and Michael was over watching Netflix with you. He was laying on the couch with his head in your lap and his hand conveniently resting on your thigh. You guys were watching The Omen 3, Michael had insisted on it. He was eager to devour every bit of pop culture that detained any reference to the Antichrist. You thought this was so adorable. He also insisted you do the same, after all, you were put on this earth to solely serve him. This gave you all sorts of warm fuzzies.

He was the Dark Prince and you were his companion. His partner in crime, as cheesy as it sounds.

And your dark prince was being mischievous. As he was slowly rubbing his hand on your thigh, it was gradually getting closer, and closer to in between your legs. You had no intention of stopping him, as this little abstinence period had you craving him more than ever. A dull ache had grown down there and you could feel your panties getting damp.

His pace was torturous so you moved his hand with yours up into the spot where you desperately wanted to be touched. With his head still facing the TV, he smiled.

“You’re such a little shit,” you teased and this only caused his smile to broaden.

You slightly parted your legs to make room for his large hand and he eagerly stroked you, lightly grazing the fabric of your underwear with his fingers. You tilted your head back and closed your eyes, stifling a moan. You swore you could just cum right then and there just by his simplest touch.

Michael continued to gently caress your heat, feeling it get hotter and more moist with each delicate stroke. He was reveling in this. Your eyes scanned his body and you could see a thick bulge form in his black jeans. You ran your fingers through his hair and tugged. He was so good to you.

He suddenly stopped and you pouted. His head turned up towards you and with a breathy voice he said, “Take off your panties.”

While still sitting down, you hitched up your skirt and slide them off in one fluid motion, not wanting to waste any time. Michael sat up and just as they were off, he scooted himself next to you and his hand was back on your thigh. His soft, cushiony lips crashed into yours and it was like the first time all over again.

The same zap of electricity washed over your body, and you could literally feel the chemicals inside of your head crashing in waves. It was ethereal.

You pulled away slightly, your parted lips grazing his as the heat radiated between you. Catching each other’s breath in your own, you hovered your lips over his, taking him in. You let a hand rest on his upper arm, feeling how long and lean it was, how the veins seemed to protrude. It never ceased to amaze you just how hot Michael was.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Michael breathed. This sent shivers down your spine. He always made sure to never let you forget just how beautiful and hot he thought you were.

You moaned at those words and sank your lips into his in a passionate exchange. His hand roughly squeezed your thigh, marveling at your softness. He started to stroke your leg, inching closer to that certain spot. All of a sudden you could feel his fingers slide delicately in between your folds, revering in your hot wetness. You let out a long moan into his mouth. Michael was always so eager to please you. When the two of you first started having sex, he was so eager it was almost aggressive. You had to stop and chide him, telling him to slow down and how his eagerness was hurting you. You had to teach him, which was expected since you were his first (and by the sounds of it, his last), how to pleasure you properly. He was a fast learner . His eyes would go big and hungry like, earnestly drinking up every ounce of criticism you offered.

Now he was such a good boy to you, you didn’t even have to tell him. Also mind you, he started to develop his telepathy around this time so he was obviously using that to his advantage. You didn’t mind this, since it served you well. You’ve had a number of sexual partners in the past, but they all paled in comparison to Michael.

Michael was phenomenal in bed and partly because you were madly in love with each other. You knew that being in love always amplified sex to a whole new level. You’ve been in love a couple of times, but never like this. Michael was your twin flame. He was your person.

The kissing started to become more wet and sloppy, and fast as he quickened the pace down below with his fingers. He was fondling your clit and you could feel your arousal heightening. Not wanting to climax so soon, you put your hand over his to stop him and pulled your face away.

His mouth was still parted, his lips slick with saliva, red and swollen with lust. He slowly opened his eyes and they were so dilated they almost looked black. Without saying a word to each other, you both went upstairs. You took his hand and guided him to your room. All the lights were off except for a string of pink Halloween lights that strung above your bed. You laid your hand on his chest and softly pushed him onto the mattress. He moved to where he was sitting with his back against the headboard. He knew too well that this was your favourite position.

You suddenly straddled his lap, lowering yourself onto his still clothed erection. A pulse of energy shot between your legs and up into your core. You aggressively moaned and you could feel his whole body shudder with pleasure. Michael wrapped his strong arms around your waist and up around your shoulders, greedily burrowing his face into your chest. You gently rocked your hips and you could feel him sigh with ecstasy into you.

Arching your back, you pressed yourself deeper into him, letting his hard length stroke you through his jeans. His breathing hitched. The friction was making you so wet, you could feel the fabric of his pants become soaked with your juices. Michael gently lifted your sweater above your head and removed it, leaving you only in a thin t-shirt. He nipped at your breasts through the fabric and the tender area around your nipples, eliciting a cry of pleasure from you. Your hands found his hair and you affectionately pulled on his curls, letting him know how good of a job he was doing. He softly growled, you were all his and he wanted nothing more than to be suffocated by you.

In between nibbles he would look up towards you for approval and you would reward him with a deep, lustful kiss, your hips still humping him with an intoxicating pace. You could feel his member start to twitch. You stopped and removed the last upper article of clothing, exposing your tender breasts to him. He aggressively cupped them with his mouth, obscenely moaning with hunger for you.

The only sounds in the room was of the bed squeaking and two of you panting heavily, with the occasional sound of a wet, sloppy kiss.

You sunk your lips into Michael’s when all of a sudden you saw a flash of red, then you saw a beautiful, older lady—sprawled lifelessly on a couch, with a scotch glass loosely in her hand and a cigarette in the other. Then you saw what looked like Michael, but he was dressed much differently, he wore khakis and a colourful striped shirt. He was holding the older lady and crying for her to come back, how he was sorry. Constance?

You stopped and opened your eyes. Michael’s eyes were still closed and tears were spilling down. He didn’t open them and with such vigor that you never experienced with him before, he pulled you in closely. He kissed you with such tenderness it made your head start swimming again with chemicals. You felt this pain but you also felt this enormous gratitude he had for you. Even though he was suppose to be the antichrist, the amount of incredible warmth and love that was radiating out of him was absolutely divine.

Michael never kissed you like this before. No one ever kissed you like this before. It was on such a different level, the gulf between you and reality was palpable. You felt like your whole being was levitating into the heavens and Michael was right there with you. Or more like hell, if you may.

“Thank you,” he whimpered into your lips, his voice sounded different. It was needy and wounded and grateful all at the same time. You could feel his body shaking with emotion. Despite all of this, neither of you wanted to stop. You and Michael were too far gone and wrapped up in the moment.

Still having your legs around Michael, he shifted your bodies where he was laying on top of you in the missionary position. Your second favourite position.

In between heated kisses, Michael removed his shirt. You slid a hand down his smooth chest, across his abdomen and onto his now soaking wet jeans. Despite the emotional turmoil, he was still rock hard. You squeezed the shaft of his member through his pants and his jaw slackened as a loud moan erupted from him. He buried his face into the side of your neck and started softly gnawing on your skin, leaving the faintest of bruises. He nipped and kissed his way up to your ear, where he nibbled the earlobe. You squirmed under him. He knew all of your weak spots down to a T. You could loudly hear his heady breath in your ear and it only made you want him more. You couldn’t take it.

“I want you inside of me, Michael,” you exhaled. With that he gave you a long, profound kiss before he slid off his jeans and boxer briefs. His erection sprung out and was drenched in a combination of your wetness and his pre-ejaculate. He dug into his jeans and pulled out a condom. Without breaking eye contact with you, he slipped it on. He lined himself up at your sultry, swollen entrance, gently pressing into your opening just the way you like it. Your head fell back onto the bed, mouth opening and closing. Michael cradled your head in his arm and pressed his forehead into yours. While looking deep into yours, his eyes bore those same holes as they did when you first met him, down right into your soul. His hips bucked forward and he slid into you, filling you right up with a burst of sensation.

“Michael!” You loudly gasped, no matter how many times he entered you, you were always taken aback by the severe amount of pleasure and how he seemed to fill you up just perfectly. As if you were made for each other. Two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together.

With unwavering eye contact, he slowly pumped himself into you, making sure to feel every inch of your innermost walls. He began to pant and whine with each thrust. Your hands wrapped around his smooth, soft back. You could feel how his body temperature was rising. Sweat slicked his hairline and a bead of moisture fell onto your face. You opened your mouth, letting yourself taste him. The taste and smell of his pheromones inebriating you.

The tip of him hit your cervix and you yelped with delight, your fingernails digging into his porcelain skin. You dragged them down his back, making sure to leave scratches. Michael arched his back and obscenely groaned. He loved it when you marked him, it always gave him loving reminders how he belonged to you.

Michael pressed his mouth into the side of your face and panted, his voice hitched with ecstasy, “Can I go faster, baby?” You nodded and as he quickened his pace, you let your hands slide down to his ass and you clutched his cheeks, wanting to feel his hips buck in and out of you with each push.

Your bodies were entangled with each other in perfect harmony. Each breath, each kiss, each stroke of his penis sent you closer over the edge. Now all you could hear were the wet, pounding sounds of your bodies, laboured breathing, and the smell of each other’s sweat. His moans turned into blissful whines as he was nearing his climax. There was not a sweeter sound in the world.

“You’re such good boy, Michael. I want you to cum for me,” you exhaled. Your voice heavy with lust.

Just as you spoke those words, your whole body tensed and your vision blurred, you were seeing stars. Your whole body was on fire and you could feel this thunderous wave of energy course through your being. You tightly wrapped your legs around Michael and squeezed your inner, spongy walls around him. Feeling this enormous amount of energy being released from your core and into Michael, your orgasm was so intense, not a sound was to be heard, despite having your mouth wide opened. All you could do was hold onto Michael and ride out this high with the man you love.

Right as he felt you clench around his length, Michael’s jaw slackened and his lips parted further, making a perfect O. He buried his face into the crook of your neck and you could feel the vibration of his groans inside of your body. Both your bodies tensed with rapid concessions of pleasure.

“(Y/N),” he whined as the last wave of his orgasm washed over him. He went limp in your arms and rested his face on your chest. Both of you panting and trying to catch your breath. You could feel his heartbeat race a mile a minute through his chest, like gears of a clock. You ran his hands through his soaking wet curls and kissed his damp forehead.

“That was incredible!” Michael gasped after he finally caught his breath. His arms were loosely wrapped around you and he just basked in the glory that was you.

After several silent minutes of lying in a tangled mess of sweaty limbs and crumpled sheets, the two of you properly got under the covers for the night. Michael was worn out and had his back to you, already fast asleep and snoring softly. Usually he never got this tired after sex, but considering the traumatic recollection of the night, him crashing out completely was a given. You snuggled up to him, wrapping an arm tenderly over his waist. You kissed his shoulder.

With a smile you said, “Goodnight, my antichrist.”

#michael langdon #michael langdon smut #sub!michael #young!michael #fem!reader #sub!michael x reader #smut #american horror story #ahs smut #michael langdon imagine #cody fern #michael langdon fanfiction #i fell out of heaven to be with you in hell

[okimargarvez]

THE PUNISHER - 4

Original title: The punisher.

Prompt: mental and physical torture, guilt, contrast love, dark drama, punishment.

Warnings: Luke OOC, sexual content.

Genre: romantic, smut, comedy, angst, drama, friendship.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, BAU team, Roxy.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot.

Legend: 💏😘😈👓🔦🐶❗👻.

Song mentioned: none.

The Punisher- Masterlist

GARVEZ STORIES

Note: ok, here we are. This is the last part of this story, and also the stringer, harder, the reason why I had to advise all that Luke is OOC. I don’t know why I written this story, as I said other times. My ispiration comes from the vision to an episod of the documentary Monster in my family. The daughter of a serial killer meets the son of one of his victims. And I started to think “What if they fall in love? The rest is history. Hope it will not be too upsetting. My mother has red it and she didn’t disown me, so...

Part 4

It starts in a normal way. Or at least that's what she thinks. She opens her eyes and realizes that he is above her, overtopping her, but their bodies are not in contact. Luke holds himself up by forcing his arms. At first, she thinks it's just another of his tricks to make the day more interesting. But this time he doesn't just seem threatening, he is. His eyes are doors to hell, his smile is evil. This time she's seriously afraid, no, is terrified. Especially since she understands that she can't escape.

-You were hoping I bought it, don’t you?- not even his voice sounds as usual. It's cold, distant, but also full of irony. What is he referring to? She can't understand it. -Penelope, I love you!- he says, as a joke from a movie. -Move in with me! I can't be without you! You are my life! I fell in love with you from the first time I saw you! I don't want to waste another second without seeing you.- every sentence it is like a new stab in the chest. But he leaves the best for last. -I want children with you, I want to build a family- he says this word practically spitting it out like phlegm -with you.- then he bursts out laughing. Even his laugh sounds ruthless, perverse.

-Lu... Luke?- she still hopes it can only be a joke. A bad joke. But his expression doesn’t change.

-Poor little stupid, did you think I didn't understand who you are? That there is the devil hiding behind that innocent aspect?- could it be that what they ate last night was poisoned? She must react.

-Luke, what... what are you saying... I don't understand...- he laughs again, then grabs her face with a lot of force, if he just pressed a little more, he would break her jaw as if it were made of chalk. And he reads the fear and awareness of this in her eyes. -You... you are hurting me...- that of Penelope is the cry for help from someone who knows is doomed.

-Did I hurt you? I'm happy. It will never be as what you did to me!- but what is he talking about? She is not a strong enough person. Tears start to fall and wet his hands. But he doesn’t let himself be moved. -It is useless for you to cry. I'm not falling for it again, Garcia. Or should I call you Karson?- the woman's eyes widen even more as she hears him say that surname. -You didn't think I could find out, but you're not the only one able to decrypt files.- total silence.

-But... but what does this have to do with what you said?- there is a subtle light at the end of the tunnel.

-Why you don’t stop acting naive?- he lifts up letting her catch her breath, but looking at her as if to tell her that she won't be able to escape him. -Your parents died in a car accident, but they weren't the only victims.- he seems to have regained his lucidity. -You knew that, didn't you?- with difficulty, she nods, as the pieces start to find their places. -You were eighteen. No need to find a foster family. You wanted to change your name because you were ashamed. Because you knew it was your fault.- Luke can't know it, but he touches an ancient Achilles heel. Because Penelope hasn’t yet stopped feeling responsible for that incident. Because they had gone out to look for her.

-You're right.- she says, surprising him. He looks at her as if trying to figure out if she's teasing him. -You're right, it was my fault if they were out, but the incident... they told me the other driver was a drunk...- she can't finish the sentence. He grabs her by both wrists, as if to dominate the anger he feels.

-My father wasn’t drunk! He would never have done it! They had just discovered that my sister was pregnant!- Penelope trembles.

-But... but... the doctor told me... I'm sure...- he brings his face close to the woman's and practically snarls at her.

-He lied to you!- but now she's not just afraid anymore. The pain he feels is printed in his eyes. And she can understand him so well...

-I... I'm sorry, for anyone you've lost... but we can't sit down and talk like normal people?- he immediately fulfills her wish. He takes her by the shoulders in an abrupt way and slams her practically against the back of the bed.

-Normal? No, because that night I didn’t only lose my father, my sister and a grandson who was never born... but also my mother.- the low and almost calm tone suggests the return of the storm, which in fact arrives. -I saw her consuming herself, day by day. She didn't love me enough to survive for me. I threw myself into the study and then into the academy. I met Macey. That one was love at first sight. I thought I had finally overcome it or learned to live with it and then... then she was invested. She stayed in a coma for almost six months. I made all sorts of promises. But she died the anniversary of the accident. From that moment I had only one thought. Talking to anyone could help me understand how things really went that day. It was easy, because I was in the FBI, everybody answered my questions. And it emerged, almost by accident, the reason they were on the road... I mean your parents...- Penelope is paralyzed by the emotions that follow one another in her heart, but at least he stopped screaming. -One of the paramedics who rushed to the scene, has remembered that you had shouted something like "it's my fault, it's my fault" and that you shouldn't have to leave the house secretly.-

 She goes back thirty years. She was at a party, maybe a guy who wasn't even bad at all was flirting with her... when her phone rang. What do the ball-busters want? They noticed it. Now I'm almost eighteen, they have to understand it... but on the other end there was neither her mother nor her father. Instead, it was an unknown, serious voice, but one that bode the disaster. She knew immediately that something serious had happened.

 -But... but why did you ask me to come and live with you and you told me all those things... if you hate me so much?- the real question was asked. But will she have enough strength to hear the answer?

-Because you had nothing. Nothing I could take away from you, as it happened to me. Then I thought I should create it. I made sure you fell in love with me. To break your heart.- he simply says. As if he were talking about stupid things.

She tries to take his hand. -Luke, listen to me, I'm sorry for what happened to you. Is that what you want, an apology? I'm sorry. Really. But I was... I was just a stupid girl and... and I lost someone, too, that night. You have to...- he lifts her head up and stares at her.

-No! Don't tell me "you have to go over it" or "you have to go on" or some other similar crap. I've already tried. I didn't succeed. The same about the Cullen story. I'm not as strong as Hotch. Not everyone is. And I just need to transfer the evil I feel. If I can't get rid of it, I can at least share it with those who are partly responsible...- from that moment he seems to cease to be truly present. Diligently he extracts from the pocket of the ropes and begins to tie her wrists and ankles to the bed. So narrow that the circulation almost stops.

-W... why are you doing this to me.- she tries again to make him think about it. -You... I already apologized... what else do you want?- he doesn't answer, but slowly unbuttons her pajama shirt. Almost in a sensual way. -Do you... want to kill me? Do you think this will make you feel better?- she is probably playing with fire, but she has to try every resource she has available.

-No. Physically dying would be too easy. I want... I want you to die inside.- he has completed the work. Now her breast is completely exposed. He now dedicates himself to the lower part of her body.

-What is this? A way to destroy me? It wasn’t my fault.- she exclaims for the first time in her life, with a firm tone. -I didn't drive either of the cars. They are misfortunes. It's tragic, but the world goes on. It doesn't stop for no one. It didn't stop for me, or for you. I can't imagine the pain you felt, because every situation is different. But I go very close to it.- she tries to sound empathetic. She must have seen it in the movies. Or maybe some information acquired by working with her colleagues. -Luke, please listen to me. Nothing you want to do, it will help to alleviate suffering.- but now her panties have gracefully reached the floor and, in that position, she seems to be a sacrificial offer for some evil deities. -Leave me and I will help you...- words and even fear waver, when he puts his complete hand inside her. It is hard to think of why he is doing this and to explain to her body that the situation has changed, compared to just the night just passed. - How can you...- but already she feels something moving down ever lower -...how can you fuck, even just touch... who do you think has destroyed your life?- oh yes, how he can? But it is not a question that Luke likes, ever since he discovered who Penelope Garcia really was, to date. There is something that attracts him to her anyway, beyond any logical reason. He should hate her, yes. Because as she just said, it's her fault that his life has been ruined. He wants to think that Macey's death it's also her fault, although he knows that in this case she has nothing to do with it. He pulls out his hand and shows her the result.

-You see, that you want it too?- and in these sentences there is the real answer to the question asked by Penelope -You like to be dominated, even if you didn't live it before. You love to be submissive. You made it all too easy. I want to hear you scream enough. I want to see you in the flames. I want you to really suffer, because it’s also what you want.- and the worst thing is that he's right. -I need to take out everything it's in me and you are the perfect victim. Victim and executioner together. And you need this. You need someone that redeem you. Someone who make you expiate your sin.- hell, it's wrong, but she is hanging on his lips. -Someone who sets you free.- another pause -You lived every moment just waiting for this.- he strokes her cheek, and it almost seems sweet again. -I'm that someone. I am the one who has the most right. Let yourself be purified, Penelope. Embrace the suffering.- he lays his lips on hers, his taste for blood mixes with his saliva. She tries to oppose the kiss, but only to feel him bring her back to the original position, to feel that she can't do anything to avoid him.

It is wrong to enjoy in pain, but we all do it, without having the courage to say it, and not necessarily under the covers. And then he's right. Because what she told him before is not true. She still feels guilty, although she can rationally say that she wasn’t responsible for the accident, that she wasn’t the only cause. But the pretext, yes. They wouldn't have been there if; that "if" it's enough. And pain and pleasure are so close, that in some cases it is difficult to distinguish them. It is a question of gradation.

And Penelope enjoys every push, ever stronger. When he fills the void inside her, she finally feels free.

Because things are complicated. They are almost never simple. And she can't stop being in love with him from one day to the next. Basically, she understands it. She understands his behavior. His pain relies on hers. And she can't live without him.

But while he is moving inside her, Luke doesn't think about his life ever and not even Macey. He can only dispel the thought that what he is doing is wrong and so right at the same time. That every time he pretended to feel love for her, he kissed her, talked about the future... it seemed too true. That every time she smiled at him, it was hard to repeat what his plan was. And when he saw her cry the first time, for Reid, he didn't feel any pleasure.

Revenge had to be accomplished and now that he has done it, he feels emptied. A perfect way of saying with double meaning.

It is difficult to break away from, to sliding out of her, but he has to make the last part or it will not make sense the previous one. He unties her and throws the ropes on the floor. There is only one way for her to really suffer. Even her narrowed eyes tell him.

He must leave.

Even because he did something far worse than sleeping with the enemy, like in that movie with the same name with Julia Roberts.

He is in love with her.

Maybe really, since the first time his eyes had rested on her. It had happened, without him being able to do anything about it.

And then he had got that email, which had revealed to him the new identity of the daughter of the man who had killed his father and sister.

Before reading it, he had found absurd, but also a sign of destiny, the fact of being attracted to the one who carried the same name as the woman he most hated.

Before seeing the attached photo.

But it had all been extremely simple, and sequential. He already wanted her. Now he had found the pretext to claim her.

None of the things he had told her during this month had been a lie. He hadn’t pretended to love her. Yet he still had to perform that act. Only in this way he would have been free. Only in this way they would have been free.

Free to live what the future had in store for them.

 -No, Luke, please... I beg you... don't leave!- Penelope tries to hold him by the sleeve. -I don't care if you don't really love me, I can really help you... I can do anything that can make you feel better. That was what you wanted, I implored you, didn't I? I'm doing it, but don't leave, don't leave me! I love you too much and I need you too, to survive. Stay with me.- he must force himself to let her go, to break away from her and vanish away, without looking back. If he doesn't, what happened today will lose its meaning.

It will remain almost as if it were another of their role-playing games.

He must make up his mind. He must do it.

Her big eyes pray to him and, for the first time in over thirty years, Luke no longer feels that blind rage permeating him. Without such a filter, he sees reality clearly as it is.

-I can't stay.- he says, but in a sad and desperate tone. As if he was sorry, she thinks. -I can't stay after what I did to you. I needed it, it served me, but the fact remains that it was wrong.- he needs to touch her skin and wipe away the residue of the tears from her face, but he can't do it. If only he brushes her, he is lost. He sees her shake her head. -Don't say no, it was wrong. It wasn't your fault. I didn't believe that, once I met the person who, like me, had lost everything, this one would have encouraged me to... do what I did. I should have been able to hold myself back. As an idea, a theory... it could be right, but I didn't have to get it concrete.- he doesn’t know what he is about to say before he even opens his mouth -Forgive me, this time, Penelope. My resignation will be on Prentiss's desk by tomorrow morning...- he looks down, sad. He is another person, compared to a little while ago. But this is not strange: he is in fact free of his own demons.

-You won't do it.- she exclaims with a firm and determined tone, almost like an order. She also manages to stop him and taking him by the shoulders, forces him to sit on the bed. She never lets him go while talking. -What happened was neither right nor wrong, but it didn't just serve you. Now... now at last I really feel that it wasn't my fault. But I had to be punished in some way, to be able to feel free from a fault that I didn’t have. Even this doesn't make much sense, but what has it, after all?- she can't hold it, she giggles. -You don't have to feel ashamed for this. In no case.- he shakes his hand until he snatches a groan of pain, not entirely involuntary. -If you really have never felt anything for me, go away and complete your plan, making me die of pain. But if, on the other hand, you has loved me even just a bit, behind those too serious sentences I can't believe that there were only lies... if you has loved me, stay here and let's face the next phase together, whatever is coming. I don't want to say that it will be simple, that we will be able to laugh about it like nothing. But we have suffered so much in life, both me and you, that we have learned to see pain as a friend, a traveling companion.- she is no longer afraid. She sighs, because she has almost finished and then it will be up to him to decide. And once again, she completely depends on him. -Not all loves are just roses and cuddles... we hurted each other so much and I don't know if what's between us can be called love, but... if there was something true, in what we lived until yesterday, don't throw it all away, don't let the last memory be the marks left by the ropes on my wrists.- she looks down and lets him go -Just this, I've finished.-

He can't rationally conceive how she doesn't hate him, why she is not afraid of him, if not at least crap. How can she figure it out when he doesn't understand himself. How she can be content to hear him say only that he has loved her, and yet be willing to let him go without consequences. She should report him. He abused her. Even though she really wanted it, he took advantage of her vulnerability: this should be the correct meaning of the word abuse.

And, ironically, to do the right thing he must make her suffer. Now there is a new demon that is tormenting his soul. And it has blond hair and an angelic smile.

Everything was wrong from the beginning. You don’t fall in love, if you are okay with your head, with the one that, through the back door, has led to the death of your family.

Yet everything has also been so profoundly right. The way they teased each other in the elevator, the perfect adherence of their fingers when he gave her the hand to get off the sidewalk in Bradenton.

Quite right. Exact. Opportune. Legitimate. Correct.

Well before she kissed him out of the club, after saving her from a bad face.

Does it take more courage to leave, believing you are doing the right thing, or to stay, hoping not to do the wrong thing?

Luke doesn’t know the answer to this question, but looking at Penelope's confident smile, he knows he will be able to find it.

With her.

____________________

TAGS: @arses21434 @kathy5654 @martinab26 @reidskitty13 @jenf42 @gracieeelizabeth27 @silviajajaja @smalliemichelle99 @charchampagne14 @thinitta   @myhollyhanna23 @garvezz  @shyladystudentfan @cosmicmelaninflower @avengerquake123vanuusims  @inlovewithgarvaz @the-ellen-stuff 

#garvez #criminal minds #cm #penelope garcia #luke alvez #penelope x luke #luke x penelope #garcia x alvez #alvez x garcia #luke ooc #strong themes #dark theme

[leakinghate]

Do you think there is any chance for lotura now, when we've just seen romantical teasing of Allurance that can be foreshadowing? (If it's so, showrunners go to hell)

Hello Anon,

Yes. I do believe there is still a very legitimate hope for Lotura to be endgame.

I was going to take some time to mull things over and plan before making a post. But, you took the time to ask, so here are my thoughts.

*ahem*

Lotura is Endgame, Y’all can Fight Me

In for a penny, in for a pound, eh?

I cannot promise you 100% that Lotura will happen, but there are two things I know, and that I can promise with reasonable asurridy. One, allurance is not going to be endgame. It may happen for a episode or two; but it’s not going to work out.

Two, Lotor will be returning, and as an eventual ally to boot.

Let's tackle our rival ship problem first.

Lance’s character arc has always been about him maturing to a point where he can believe in himself and grow some self confidence. He’s a classic case of a young man insecure about his place in the world overcompensating in an effort to make sure no one else notices it. He’s probably struggling with imposter syndrome, though I doubt he’d recognize it as that. The ironic thing, is that he’s so caught up in his own head that he doesn’t notice his team’s genuine appreciation of his talents and friendship. He’s the emotional support of the team, and possesses a genuine talent for leadership and calm headedness that even Keith is shown to struggle with. Despite flying the Red Lion now, he’s still obviously a Blue Paladin at heart.

The fandom’s perception that Lance hasn’t had an arc is because his arc is a long one, and it’s not going to pay off completely until near the end. Hunk’s arc was early, and his most dramatic developments took place in season one. Pidge’s arc happened in fits and starts, but was obvious and telegraphed from the beginning - it also focused on tangible goals rather than personal growth. Shiro and Keith’s arcs were intertwined, and formed much of the backbone of the show - when one wasn’t in focus the other was. Allura is the central character of Voltron, and her arc won’t be over until the show itself is - her arc is the plot of VLD itself.

Lance’s arc is slow, and has tackled small bits of his character development at a time. It’s always been about his self confidence, but it started from the outside-in. Beginning in season one with his jealousy of keith over the other’s physical abilities and natural talent in areas Lance wished to accomplish. Moving on through developing security in his value as a team member and place among the paladins. Finally, we have yet to tackle his emotional security.

Lance desires romantic attention. He thinks that he’s in love with Allura, but he really isn’t. He’s in love with the idea of her. Her beauty, her personality, her position, even her seeming unattainability - all things that attract Lance to her, but attraction does not a stable relationship make.

I’ve said it before, several times, so I’ll be brief. Lance and Allura’s life goals, positions, interests, and lifespans are not compatible. Lance wants to be with his family on Earth - a major component of his characterization is his family inclination and homesickness - he’s very young with no political experience and has shown no inclination to gaining any, he’s dismissive of and uninterested in Altean culture, and his human life expectancy is unlikely to exceed 100 years. By contrast, Allura is the last remaining Altean royal, and one of only two Alteans who remember what life on Altea was like. She’s going to want to be in space with the recently revealed still living survivors of her people. She’s the leader of the coalition and the owner of Voltron, she has countless populated planets to oversee and diplomatic negotiations to attend to. Her culture is precious to her, and she values it highly. And her lifespan is likely at least 1000+ years - Coran, a non-magical Altean, is at least 600 years old and appears to be only slightly older than a middle aged human equivalent.

And she’s only a few weeks, a month or two at most out from a very nasty breakup.

Allura is absolutely still in love with Lotor - you can’t just turn off loving someone like flipping a switch. It takes time - a lot of time in many cases, and it takes processing, and dealing with those emotions.

It may be, that Lance and Allura attempt a relationship for a few episodes, but it’s not going to work out.

As Lance is faced with the prospect/reality of getting what he thinks he wants, his character development in other areas is going to come to the fore. He’s going to be aware of and have to deal with the realities of having a relationship with the Altean Princess, and realize how very incompatible they actually are. There is a very good reason that Lance’s realization about his feelings towards Allura happened in the B-plot of s6e2, ‘Razor’s Edge’. The episode in which the A-plot revolved around the impossibility of a relationship between a human man and an alien woman. VLD likes it’s parallels, that wasn’t an accident.

He’s also going to realize that he deserves to be more than somebody’s second choice. Lance deserves more than being a rebound - and he knows that now, even if he hasn’t expressed it.

Because that’s what’s going on here.

Allura’s sudden apparent reciprocation of Lance’s feelings this season feels like a rebound because it is a rebound!

Allura felt very off this season, and that’s almost definitely because she's still really shook up over what happened with Lotor.

She's NOT okay, and that hasn't been dealt with.

It will be, next season. But she was in focus in a major way the last two seasons, so she had to take a back seat this one so she could get focus for the end. It's the same reason why Keith was in the background for several seasons before stepping back up in s6 and s7. And it's why Lotor was such a late addition to the cast. He's a huge plot mover in s3-6 (arc #2), and he will be again next season. So he was absent from 1-2 (arc #1), and again from 7 (the first half of arc #3). Same as why Haggar was absent this season, it's about balance.

I was majorly sketched out by the few little out-of-nowhere allurance moments.

But I think, that it's supposed to come across as odd, and uncomfortable, and abrupt.

Because I think it's ultimately leading up to Lance turning down Allura.

He's going to realize that she doesn't actually care about him romantically. She's hurt and lonely, and feeling like she failed her team for falling for Lotor. So she's overcompensating, and trying to force herself into liking Lance. Because he's there, and he likes her, he’s dependable and safe. So when she’s desperate to move on and salve the pain? She kinda feels like she owes it to him to give him a chance.

Allura has lost almost everything. Her people, her culture, her planet, her father - twice! Last season she lost the castle, after just barely snatching it from the metaphorical jaws of death she then has to voluntarily blow it up to save the universe. She lost Lotor - the person she’d fallen in love with, who she’d connected with and come to rely on - and she had to ‘kill’ him with her own ship.

Her people, that she only just learned weren’t entirely wiped out, have vanished without a trace before she even gets to see them.

By the end of season 7 she’s lost all that was left of her castle, her crown, and even the clothes on her back. She’s been stripped of her distinctive cultural clothing and garbed in the generic military uniform of an alien people.

It’s no coincidence that she didn’t begin ‘reciprocating’ Lance’s feelings until they arrived on Earth - where she was even more isolated without her lion and Voltron. She’s feeling so incredibly lonely and is looking for comfort and love anywhere she can find it.

It can’t work out though, for all the reasons we've already identified.

There was zero flirting this season, and other than the weird blush there was NOTHING.

Contrast that with the solid two seasons of beautiful and mutual Lotura buildup - even more, some would argue, if you consider Allura and Lotor’s clash in s3e3 ‘The Hunted’ as foreshadowing.

The biggest things for me. Is that nothing happened to prompt Allura to see Lance in a new light. We go from her irritation at him in e4, to neutral, average team members, to a sudden blush in e10, and lion-look-framing in e13.

And amidst it all Lance still managed to manipulate the situation to get himself alone with a pretty girl. It backfired on him pretty spectacularly when Romelle turned out to be far more rambunctious than he could handle, but that doesn’t change the fact that he chose the passenger arrangement. This is long after his apparent realization of ‘loving’ Allura, and pretty handily demonstrates that Lance isn’t really ready for a long-term commitment.

So are Lance and Allura being set up for endgame?

Nah. There's something else happening here.

Especially when it was twice emphasized this season how Allura got them into that mess by getting them close to Lotor. Nevermind that it wasn’t the team’s friendship and alliance with Lotor that fucked them over, but the Paladin’s betrayal of him.

But we're still waiting for the other shoe to drop there.

We haven't had the big emotional Allura moment that’s been alluded to, and we haven't had Keith still having a lesson yet to learn.

Referring back to VLD’s pattern for character prominence, we should expect Lance to fade out towards the second half of next season, since he had major POV framing in this season and the last one.

If what I think is going to happen actually happens, Lance should be dealing with his romantic issues at the start of next season to complete his arc. I’d imagine it will be in the first few episodes of season 8 that this will happen. This should line up with Lotor's return to the story, and thus trigger the 'cool story arc' we were promised with both of them.

This brings us to our next point: Lotor’s return.

We already have confirmation that Lotor is alive in the rift - Rhys, Coran’s VA, let that slip during an interview at SDCC. And if he’s alive, he’s going to be returning.

But as an ally? Maybe not at first, but eventually.

I found it interesting that Lotor was never once brought up this season in conversation with people who didn’t already know about him and about the Paladin’s fight with him.

Even when it would be logical to do so.

When briefing the Garrison. Sam Holt, who was exchanged with Lotor as a hostage and was present on the castle ship during the Kral Zera, specifies that Zarkon is dead but never mentions that Lotor is now - as far as he knows - ruling the main Empire force.

Lotor was an ally of Voltron when Sam returned to Earth. The biggest, most powerful ally they had. They were present on the castle at the same time, and even if they didn’t interact it’s impossible that Sam wouldn’t have been aware of Lotor’s existence and position as the new Galra Emperor.

Why not mention that Voltron had a huge swath of Zarkon’s former empire allied with them?

Because it would necessitate explaining the fallout when the paladins did eventually reach Earth. So? Why not do that? That’s two to three lines of dialogue, and would serve in-show to heighten the drama for our Earth based characters, who might have been hoping for aid from the other half of the empire.

Why specifically leave the position of Emperor in limbo? Why not have Sendak officially assume command?

There’s no reason in story to have things be that way.

So there must be a narrative reason.

The only thing I can think of?

Narratively speaking, they’re avoiding tarnishing Lotor’s reputation in the wider universe. The only people who know what happened in that fight? The paladins. And they left his throne unclaimed, so that he can take it on his return.

It’s the reputation thing that really cinches it for me. There is only so much time, only 13 episodes left in the series, and it would be nonsensical to waste a decent portion of it on doing damage control for Lotor when what’s ideal for the stability of the wider universe is to return to the way things stood at the beginning of season 6; with Lotor in control of the the Galra Empire, and the Coalition - and Voltron - allied with him.

At the beginning of season six the only outstanding major threats were Haggar and Sendak’s Fire of Purification, Haggar is obviously our final arc antagonist, and hey! Wouldn’t you know it? Guess who just just got offed? Sendak.

There is no damn reason to preserve Lotor’s standing with the coalition forces. Except if he’s to return as an ally. Especially when everybody should be asking for explanations of where they’ve been. But they don’t. For a reason.

So will Lotura be endgame?

I believe so.

They’ve said before that they crafted Lotor’s character to be someone Allura could relate to and find comfort in. They redesigned him, literally made him for her.

Every one of our characters in VLD has had to suffer terribly throughout the course of the show. So far though, Lotor and Allura are unique among focus characters in that their suffering has been without respite, recourse, or reward. They have both lost everything.

At the end of s7 Allura does not even own the clothes on her back, and it's doubtful that Lotor is even in control of his own mind anymore.

They literally have nothing left to lose.

They’ve been stripped bare of everything that has ever mattered to them.

So perhaps they can find peace, for themselves and others, by giving themselves to each other.

The love between an Altean Alchemist and the Galra Emperor started the war 10,000 years ago, it’s only fitting that love between another Altean Alchemist and Galra Emperor end it.

#Lotura #Lotor #Allura #Lance #vld #voltron legendary defender #vld s7 #vld s7 spoilers #voltron spoilers #Hate tries to Meta #asks answered #Anonymous