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honeybleed · 23 days

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— ★ CAPTAINS AS WORK HUSBANDS

content & warnings: fem!reader, post time skip, changed daichi to a firefighter because fuck the police (idea courtesy of deja 😁), kind of suggestive in oikawa & kuroo’s ones, fluff & crack

featuring: various captains (that i’m more familiar with): daichi sawamura, tetsurō kuroo, wakatoshi ushijima & toru oikawa

author’s note: my first written thingie for haikyuu, i’m so nervous i made them ooc ;-; ik i’m late but i really went from supporting my kuroo harem mooties from the sidelines to joining. divider credit to @/xxbimbobunnyxx

daichi sawamura:

Working with Daichi Sawamura was comparable to smooth sailing.

Usually, your colleagues, seniors and juniors could come to the agreement you were exhausting to work with considering your tendencies to play by the book.

No exceptions.

Regardless, the past few weeks of organizing assemblies for schools around the prefecture regarding fire safety with Daichi had been…pleasant?

It was going to be the last assembly and this time it was for the fifth and sixth graders, you and Daichi were sitting in your office tidying up the paperwork.

“It’s late…how are you getting home?” He questioned.

“Oh…the trains are still running. I’m saving up for a car.” You said with an uneasy laugh, a little embarrassed.

“Nonsense, I can drop you home.” Daichi smiled.

“No, no Daichi. I don’t want you to go through all that trouble, thank you for the offer.” You said sheepishly, overwhelmed by the kind offer.

“I wouldn’t feel right about a woman going home this late at night. It’s no trouble for me, at all.”

A sliver of mischief overtook you.

“What? You think cos I’m a woman I’m too fragile to go home by myself?”

Daichi gave you a vacant look before panic set into his system.

“What?! No, no! I don’t think that women are very- No, YOU are more than capable-"

“Daichi, I was kidding.” You giggled. “Honestly, I think it’s sweet you have that chivalrous nature to you. Too many men on the trains give me the creeps anyway.”

He drove a modest car. It suited him. Reliable and not too flashy.

There was an air of melancholy as this would be the last time you’d work together.

As he killed the engine when you directed him to the parking lot of your apartment complex, he gave you a warm smile.

“I really enjoyed working with you.” He said.

“I could say the same..” You replied.

“Forgive me for getting ahead of myself…but I don’t want this to be the end.”

“Huh..?”

“I want to keep seeing you. Would…you like that?” He asked, voice cautious not to overstep.

But you nodded.

“I’d love to keep seeing you. I enjoy your company, Daichi.”

Two people in their late twenties, blushing wildly as their fingers brushed over the gearstick.

tetsurō kuroo:

“I can see you, you know.” You said in a wry tone, your fingers flying over the keyboard and your eyes fixated on the screen of the PC.

“And here I thought I was a stealth master.” Kuroo said in mock defeat as he stopped peeking from the doorway and headed towards your desk. “Alright, tell me. What gave it away?”

“It’s kinda hard to miss that rooster haircut of yours.” You responded. “Not to mention the fact you have to bend over not to bump into the doorframe.”

“Figures. I got some gossip for you.”

“Yeah?” You said as you raised a brow. “Don’t keep me on edge.”

“Seems like Takuya the tech guy has the hots for you.”

“…Me?”

“Don’t act all humble on us now. You know you’re the resident hottie.” He chuckled.

“Big achievement in a workplace where the average demographic in the administration office is middle-aged men. What do you want, Tetsu?” You sighed. “You only compliment me when you want something.”

“Well, I just came here to tell you I warded him off. No need to thank me.” He grinned as he folded his arms.

“And why would you do that?” You questioned, astounded by the absolute audacity.

He scoffed.

“Why wouldn’t I? The man has black under his nails and had to be called into HR because his B.O. was considered a bio-hazard.” Kuroo said, adamant in his decision.

“Okay, but it’s not your place.” You snickered, amused but still wanting to scold him a little.

Kuroo Tetsuro didn’t mind a little nagging if it came from you, anyway.

“Well, I’m sorry for having your best interest at heart.” He sulked as he eyed you making your way over to him.

Suddenly, his heart began to hammer as you yanked his tie down so his face was close to yours.

“For a team player, you sure don’t like to share, huh Tetsu? I know you want me all to yourself but try not to make it so obvious to the others.” You whispered, breath tickling the shell of his ear.

Heading out of the small office, Kuroo stood as if his feet were glued.

“Fuck, not now…” He groaned as he felt a strain down his slacks.

wakatoshi ushijima:

“Here.”

You looked up to see none other than Ushijima Wakatoshi, brandishing a small bottle in his hand.

As his physiotherapist for the last few months, it was easy to note his habits. For example, he always made sure to turn up to your appointments five minutes early. On the dot.

On the rare occasion he missed it (which had totalled up three times over six months) he’d make sure to email you the day before.

Even if he was ill, he knew his body. He knew a virus was on its way even without experiencing symptoms.

You tentatively took the small bottle from his grasp and gave him a grateful nod.

As you fixed your eyes on the label, almost as if he read your mind he spoke with that smooth voice of his.

“It’s kefir. Good for gut health.”

“Thank you, Wakatoshi.” You smiled. “That’s very sweet of you. Go ahead and take a seat and I’ll be right with you, okay?”

He nodded but one word threw him off.

…Sweet?

Ushijima felt the tips of his ears heat up. Nobody had called him sweet before. He instantly jerked when you set a hand on his lower back and ushered him indoors.

You were used to Ushijima’s strait-laced nature so you were taken aback at him being jumpy at physical touch.

He took a seat on the padded examination table.

It was always funny to see Ushijima’s hulking figure in your office, you smiled to yourself as you eyed him looking around aimlessly.

It was a little hard not to stare at those firm tan thighs of his.

You’d caught a few of his games where he usually dominated the court. His interactions with others were usually brunt and nothing too interesting.

“So, how's the pain been since our last session?”

“It still flares up during serves and spikes. But it’s manageable.” He replied earnestly.

“Do you mind if I examine that?” You asked.

He nodded and shed off his tracksuit top, a white vest underneath showing off his broad shoulders.

He may have agreed but he wasn’t prepared for those soft, manicured hands of yours to begin to knead and palm his right shoulder and back.

“…There seems to be the issue.” You stated as he jerked and hissed at a particular section of skin.

“Wakatoshi, I told you to ice that area. Have you been skipping out on doctor's orders…?” You teased as you tilted your head.

“You’re not my doctor.” He said bluntly.

“I’m the closest thing you got to one.” You chuckled, undeterred by his frigid tone. Quite frankly, it amused you.

“We'll probably need to focus on strengthening exercises. Can you dedicate time to that?”

“I’m sure.”

“Good. I want to see you at a hundred percent for that game that’s in two weeks."

“You’re coming to the next game?” Wakatoshi asked, a little taken aback. He knew your work schedule was full to the brim since every athlete came running to you.

“…Is that a problem?” You questioned, arching an eyebrow.

“Of course not.” He swallowed thickly and then met your gaze. “I’ll make sure to be on my A game.”

“You’d better be.” You grinned as you slapped his lower back, earning a deep groan from him:

toru oikawa:

“Remember what I told you.” You hissed as you and Oikawa walked into the brightly lit press conference room after his win.

“Relax, relax…! You’d think I was such a nightmare to work with with all your worrying.” He chuckled.

“I mean it. You might be doing fine in games but your publicity is in the toilet. I’m not saying be all sugary but try to be a little gratuitous. Thank your fans…something!”

You froze when you felt his large hands plant onto your shoulders, eyes widening.

“What did I just tell you?” He teased with a glint in his eye.

“…I’m a publicist, Toru. Relaxation doesn’t exist in my world.” You said bluntly.

In your peripherals you noticed a flash go off, causing you to roll your eyes.

There’d always been rumors circulating about the sexy PR manager and Argentina National Team’s Number 13.

You always nagged Oikawa to shoot them down for his own sake since his fangirls were relentless but the most he did was drop a ‘will they/won’t they?’ answer which annoyed you to no end.

“Maybe when you get time off I could fly you out. They have killer massages in Bangkok. You could use one.”

“Just go.” You hissed, pushing his hands off. As he jogged over to the table, he turned around to shoot you a wink.

Oikawa was a natural when it came to commanding attention. As he stood at the podium with microphones, with his billion-dollar smile, the journalists and reporters were buzzing with excitement.

“Alright, alright. Sorry for the hold-up folks. I know this was the first thing on your mind when you woke up.” He chuckled.

You automatically facepalmed.

Your advice went in one ear and out the other. Oikawa was lucky he was handsome. Because despite how douchey that was, it earned a rambunctious round of applause and cheers.

After the cheers settled down, the first reporter stood up, clearing his throat.

“Firstly, I’d like to congratulate you on your win. How does it feel to lead your team to victory once again?”

“It’s as natural as breathing.” He chuckled. “But our opponents put up a great fight. I’ll give credit where credit is due.”

“Despite the adoration from your fans, you’ve faced some criticism regarding your unsportsmanlike behavior of riling up rivals. Any response to that?” A female reporter enquired.

“Well, I know my sense of humor isn’t for everybody. Luckily I got our publicist keeping reins on me. And boy does she keep the leash tight, if you catch my drift.” He said with an impish grin.

At first silence, then it was a sudden flurry of questions, reporters and journalists fighting it out to get the first question.

“Are you dating each other?”

“Are you single or taken?”

Toru Oikawa had a talent for sparking media frenzies.

As your eyes met, you gave him a chopping neck gesture as you grit your teeth, earning a belly laugh from him.

You were so screwed.

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu headcanons #hq hcs #sawamura daichi x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #wakatoshi ushijima x reader #toru oikawa x reader #⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ nara scribbles #oikawa x reader #daichi x reader #wakatoshi x reader #tetsuro x reader

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sprout-fics · 5 months

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First Day of the Rest of Your Life

(TF141 & Reader Old Guard AU)

Call of Duty Masterlist

Rating: 16+ Wordcount: 4k Tags: Old Guard AU, Immortals AU, Newly Immortal Reader, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Open Ending, Rescue Missions, Shadow Company, Major Character Death (non permanent) Warnings: Forced Drugging, Character Death (and revival) A/N: A silly little idea that I won't be continuing, but others are free to build off of

They’re not known by anyone but themselves.

Things like them shouldn’t exist. It goes against all laws of nature, to rise from dirt and to return. Yet somehow, the men you come to meet defy death itself, unable to be killed, to die a death that lasts long and forever.

And…

You come to realize you’re just like them.

But first, you have to die.

A “Shadow”, you’re called. One of many, under the authority of Commander Phillip Graves and his company. It’s a reluctant job, one that you took with little other option to settle old debts and to escape from a life that haunts you even now. Even so, you share a camaraderie with the men and women around you, bonds forged under mortar fire and bullet wounds.

Graves himself takes you under his wing, reluctant as you are, makes a point to check on you after missions, to tease you when he can, needling you and trying to make you roll your eyes at him. He likes getting under your skin, cracking jokes so your mouth twitches up as you suppress a smile. It’s hard not to like him with his charisma, but you can’t even shake the little bit of guardedness that remains ever present when you’re around him. You’re not friends, but you certainly aren’t enemies either. Comrades, perhaps.

That changes when you die.

You’re supporting SAS forces in their hunt for a known AQ leader, in a remote village, when your squad is ambushed. The desert sun bores down harshly on you all, and you find yourself squinting upwards when the first shot echoes out.

Graves is not far behind you as bullets begin to rain down on your position, leaning into his comms and barking orders. His eyes are focused with trained intent, finger on the trigger of his weapon, and when you catch his eyes he shoots you a wild grin.

You spot something out of the corner of your eye as you return fire- a woman and a child, hidden behind a low wall as she tries to cover him from the firefight. Her eyes are different. Scared, full of tears, her shoulders tight as he holds back her cries.

You shout for cover, instantly on your feet moving and diving for the pair. You shield her as you aid them both to safety, only for one of your squad to shout for you a moment too late.

The bullet goes straight through your heart.

You fall forward into the arid earth, watching the woman and her son be quickly escorted to shelter. The pang of relief you feel is stifled by the agony that laces through your veins, wet and viscous and much too warm. As you gasp, dying and bleeding out, the last thing you see is Graves’ face hovering over yours, steely and grim as your life gushes out onto his hands.

“Breathe, darlin’, breathe.”

You can’t. With every pulse of your heart you feel the sickening ooze of red spill from the gap in your chest. You wheeze, try to speak, but it’s too late. You hear him call for you as you go under, and your last thought is that you wish just had more time.

There’s a flash of something then- brief and vague, like the shimmering outline on the horizon. Four figures standing tall, turning to gaze at you before it all goes dark.

You wake up in the infirmary an hour or so later. Staring up at the medical tent and trying to process the fact that you’re alive.

Remarkably, you feel…fine?

A hand smooths over your chest, and you find no bullet hole at all. No gaping wound where your life force bled out of you. Perfectly healed.

It doesn’t make any sense, and you try to reconcile the sudden, agonizing pain and darkness with your unscathed state. You died. There’s no way you should be alive right now, much less without a horrible, life altering injury.

Graves pushes aside the tent flap and paces to your bedside with long strides. You expect him to look relieved, to smile and offer a joke to cover his concern. Instead, he appears guarded, cautious, like he no longer trusts you.

You flinch.

Graves watches you with wary eyes, and when you ask him if perhaps you dreamt it he doesn’t show any indication of shock. Instead, he crowds closer, gets in your personal space, and asks you what you remember. You tell him. You died…and then…and then…

Nothing.

This doesn’t satisfy him, and you can tell by the harsh light in his eyes. He smiles anyways, but you feel something curl in your stomach at the fact that it feels so sinister. Graves pats your shoulder and tells you to rest up, offers a little murmur of relief that doesn’t reach your ears.

You’re too busy looking at his eyes.

On his way out of the infirmary, Graves whispers something to the medic, who pales and tries to protest. Yet then Graves goes icy cold, and you feel a shiver run up your spine. He vanishes after that, and after a moment the medic appears with a syringe.

“This should help with the pain.” He offers with a wobbly smile.

“But…I’m not in pain.” You offer, brow knotted in confusion, but before you can offer anything else he holds out your arm and presses the needle to the inside of your elbow with practiced ease.

“W-wait-”

You look at the medic in confusion as he pulls back, and somehow when he presses on your shoulder you go flat on the bed with sluggish limbs.

“What-” You try, feeling something dark and liquid descend over your senses slowly.

“I’m sorry.” He offers, face pinched. “Please don’t die.”

You grab at him then, recognizing the injection too late for what it is, a lethal dose. You try to raise your voice, try to beg, but the soldier above you hushes you, murmurs apologies even as the newly familiar grip of death settles over you.

…And then, you wake up again

This time, however, you’re restrained. Your arms are above your head, shackled to the metal bars of the infirmary cot. There’s a dull ache that colors your senses, and when you try to raise your hand to rub at your head you find it immobile. Panic instantly rises within you, doubled by your prone position.

As you panic and struggle Graves appears and hovers over your bedside

“Feel like talkin now, soldier?” He asks, gaze cold.

He had you killed, you realize. He sent the medic to drug you, to test this newfound ability of yours to come back after apparent death. Now, he has you trapped under his mercy, eyes dark as he scrutinizes your restrained form.

You try to tell him you don’t know, you don’t understand, but you know he doesn’t believe you. Even after your babbling protests and attempts to explain, he remains unmoved.

At last, he sighs in frustration and turns away to the medic once more.

“Put em’ under.”

Terror grips at you. You scream, thrash, a primal fear screeching through your veins as you’re approached by the grim faced medic.

Then, the medical tent shakes with the force of a nearby explosion. Graves spins, eyes wide. Instantly, the base alarm begins to roar, nearly deafening the instant chatter of his radio. Graves is moving, barking order, growling at the two shadows who stand nearby.

“Prep for transport. We’re takin’ em to the general.”

Shepherd.

They’re moving you. They’re going to give you to Shepherd because of…whatever this is. Your instincts scream danger, and it only renews your effort to escape, thrashing at your restraints and screaming with all your might.

The two shadows press down on your struggling limbs- a hand snaking up to cover your mouth. You plead with teary eyes, desperately afraid, whimpering as the medic pushes the needle down into your arm once more. The overly warm rush of morphine slinks through your veins, draws your eyelids heavy against your will.

It’s at that moment that you see them.

Four armed figures sweep into the tent, and as the two soldiers spin and reach for their weapons. They're taken out before they can even shout for aid, two of the men instantly subduing the two guards, choking them into unconsciousness with heavy, muscular arms. A third points a weapon at the medic, growling as the man cowers.

A face hovers into view- Brown eyes a deeper color than his skin, warm gaze concerned even as he smiles. He’s handsome, a delirious part of your brain realizes as unconsciousness begins to descend over you.

“Nice to meet you, mate.” He tells you as you begin to fade. “Name’s Gaz. Don’t worry, we’ll be here when you wake up. We got it from here.”

You try to ask him what he means, but you’re gone before the words can pass your lips.

- - -

“I’m getting kind of tired of this.” You think as soon as you wake up for the third time in twelve or so hours, flat on your back and looking at the ceiling of a plane.

There’s a jacket covering you, and as you sit up your groan, feeling the remnants of morphine clear from the uncomfortable haze of your brain.

“Easy.” A gruff voice tells you, and your eyes dart up to take in the sight of a man sitting on a bench beside you, the airplane rattling around you both. “You’ve had a rough go of it, take it slow.”

“Who…?” You manage to ask, pressing a heel of your palm to the center of your eye to dispel the lingering headache, looking around to take in the other three men who sit in various stages of alertness. You take them in one by one, starting with the man beside you with the beard and the hat. He looks older than you suspect he is- the age showing in his eyes.

Beside him sits a man in a mask, the hard plastic of it in the shape of a skull. He blinks at you slow like a cat, and with his arms crossed he seems to take up so much space on the tiny aircraft.

Across from him sits a younger man with a mohawk, blue eyed and bright. He smiles at you, gaze twinkling as you blink in confusion.

Your eyes land on a familiar face. “...Gaz.” You offer uncertainly, and he beams at you.

“Right’o.” He tells you, and then nods to the man beside him. “And Soap-” The man in the mohawk gives a grin and a wave. “Ghost-” The man is the skull mask, arms crossed, regarding you coolly. “And Price.” The man who sits beside you, elbows on his knees, blue eyes staring keenly down at you.

You reply with your name purely out of politeness, but are unable to stop the tensing of your limbs as you slowly and cautiously press away from the four men who have kidnapped you.

The questions pour out of you before you can stop them. Who are they? Where are you? Where’s Shadow Company? Where are they taking you? How did you get here?

…Do they know you died?

The men before you exchange some looks of concern, before at last it’s Price who moves and settles on his haunches before you with a reassuring smile. He sits just out of reach, trying to respect your personal space as much as he can in the tiny plane.

“You’re safe.” Is the first thing he tells you, voice firm but soft. “We’ll make sure your commander can’t find you, so don’t you worry about that.”

“The rest will have to wait.” He goes on, offering you a hand to stand and helping you to a seat beside Gaz. “We’ll wait until we’re at our safehouse to tell you the rest.”

You swallow nervously, hands bunched in the jacket draped over your lap. Your mind desperately tries to understand what has happened, how you could have ended up here.

“He…killed me.” You manage shakily, remembering Graves standing over you as you woke up from the lethal rush of morphine. “Graves.”

Price looks grim as he nods silently.

“But…” You trail off, confused, scared, trembling. You look at him, wrapping your arms around yourself for comfort. “I’m…alive?”

“That you are.” Price replies with grave seriousness. “And you’re not dying anytime soon.”

You find out later that ‘soon’ doesn’t begin to describe what your life will become.

You have no option but to trust these men, you realize. You think about running, but you have no idea where you are, where they’ve taken you. As you’re gently escorted off the plane on an abandoned runway somewhere in the desert, you think about climbing back aboard and forcing the pilot to take you home.

There’s nothing back there for you, you realize. Not with your outstanding debts and mistakes, not when Graves will be able to track you down.

You curl into a corner of the safehouse- skittish and forlorn as you lose yourself in your thoughts. The others busy themselves disposing of their gear, talking in low voices, and you ignore the sympathetic looks they offer you.

Gaz settles in front of you, pushes a steaming mug of something warm into your hands, and you manage a grateful glance.

“Where are we?” You ask him quietly, and he gives you a worried little smile.

“A few hours outside Cairo. A safehouse. An old one.”

You hear Soap sneeze in another room, complaining about spiderwebs. It summons a weary smile to your features.

“Will you tell me what’s going on?” You ask quietly, and Gaz stands, offers you a hand so you rise with him.

“Of course.” He tells you, and places a hand on your shoulder to guide you in the direction of the brightly lit kitchen. “But first? Dinner. Can’t have you starve to death.”

“Will that actually kill me?” You think, but offer no other reply

Dinner is a mix of MREs and canned fruit from one of the cabinets. You watch as Ghost passes his pineapple pieces over to Soap, who swallows them down happily. Price leans over to murmur something to him, and Soap huffs a little sound of amusement around his fork. You observe them, realizing that there’s a warm familiarity between all of them, a trust that runs inherently deep and profound. It summons a little pang of longing inside you, wishing that maybe you might find something similar one day

You pick at your dinner, not really hungry. The food sits uneasily in your stomach with your anxiety, and as the plates lay scattered across the table the others finally turn to you.

“You died.” Price begins, startlingly direct.

“Yes.” You tell him breathily in return. He nods, pauses before his next words.

“So did all of us.”

You blink at that, trying to process- before Soap finally chimes in.

“Aye, your commander shot me straight in the neck, the bastard.” He grins sunnily. “Shoulda seen his face when I got right back up, fit as a fiddle.”

You do smile at that, imagining Grave’s utter shock at a dead man walking. It fades as you fidget with the cooling mug in your hands.

“So…what?” You ask quietly. “I’m some kind of…immortal?”

The silence that follows is deafening.

You look up, meet the blank stares of the men before you, and feel your stomach turn to ice.

“You’re kidding.”

Price shakes his head slowly, and you watch as he reaches for a cigar in his jacket.

“Those’ll kill you.” You want to tell him, but you wonder if it truly is a moot point.

“We were all like you, once.” He sighs as smoke spills from his mouth. “Soldiers, young, trying to do some good in a war we didn’t ask for.”

They tell you their stories, and you sit transfixed as the tale of their lives unravel before you.

Gaz and Soap are the ‘youngest’ they claim, both in age and in the time they first died. World War 2, they tell you. Gaz was a pilot shot down in France, and Soap was an infantryman only a few hundred miles west.

“Price found me.” Gaz tells you, smiling fondly at the older man, who returns the expression.

Price tells you of the vision he had- of Kyle terrified, tugging at his straps as his plane burned and spiraled out of control, only to wake up completely unscathed in a pasture. Of course, he’d been killed twice over by German forces before Price managed to find him. Gaz had been the same as you- flighty, scared, uncertain. Price had hauled him to an abandoned farmhouse, had explained to him the same they explain to you now- that one day you just stop dying. You don’t age. You can’t be killed. You blackout, bleed out, and then you just wake back up.

“Soap had it less easy.” He nods to the Scot, who grimaces. Ghost tilts his head in Soap’s direction.

“You want me to tell em, Johnny?”

Soap grumbles, and explains the story of waking up downriver, having drowned, with his entire squad dead after a charge across the Rhine. He tried to find his way back under the cover of night and found a man in a mask instead. He thought he was the reaper coming to collect his soul, but when Ghost started trying to explain immortality and becoming ageless, Soap had stared at him in complete disbelief- and then ran.

“You pitched a fit when I finally caught you.” Ghost remarks smugly, and Johnny’s frown deepens.

“Couldnae help it.” He grouses. “You did a shite job of explaining. Plus-” He jabs a finger in his friend’s direction. “You shot me.”

You blink at that, looking at Ghost, who shrugs, completely unrepentant.

“You tried to escape.”

“But still-!”

“And they’ve been trying to kill each other ever since.” Gaz adds cheekily as the two bicker.

“No killing each other.” Price reminds them sternly, and it quiets down the squabbling.

“Wait-” You try, looking to Soap and Gaz. “So you’re…what, like 100 years old?”

“Give or take a few years.” Soap offers. “I’m the older one.”

Gaz snorts. “You are not.”

“I got found first.”

“I was literally born before you.”

“By eight months.”

“Still counts.”

You turn to Ghost. “So then how old are you?”

“I stopped counting.” He replies plainly. “16th century.”

Your jaw drops. Ghost looks smug at your expression as you try to run the numbers.

“You’re leaving out the part where you were in the Anglo-Scottish War, Simon.” Soap bemoans, displeased. It sours Ghost’s expressions as he turns to the Scot.

“I didn’t even know you yet.” He remarks, mildly annoyed, and it does little to ease Soap’s vague irritation.

“So then Price found you too.” You comment, and Ghost turns back to you.

“After years of chasing him.” Price interjects. “There’s a reason we call him ‘Ghost’.”

You learn later about the things Ghost doesn’t tell you- about being buried alive by his enemies, of suffocating and dying over and over as he clawed through the dirt on his way to freedom. An inevitable, stifling death where he didn’t understand how he kept coming back, only to suffocate once more.

All eyes then turn to Price, who regards you with a knowing smile.

“Old.” He responds to your wordless question. “Too old.”

You want to press him, but there’s a twinkle in his eyes that makes you bite your tongue.

“So…do you…we…” You correct slowly. “...get sick? Starve? Drown?”

“Can’t say I’ve ever been sick.” Ghost provides. “Been starved and drowned, though.”

“Starving is a fool’s death.” Price says, oddly grim. His cigar burns down to ash, and he sighs.

There’s a solemn silence that settles over the safehouse then, and you feel the heavy weight of unspoken words sink between you all.

“There’s rules for us.” Price states then, once more reigning in his air of authority that draws you all a little straighter, attentive.

He goes on to tell you the rules that these men live and die by.

Don’t be seen. Don’t stay in one place for more than a few years at a time. If you die, move on. Stay together. Always communicate. Never leave a man behind.

They’ve spent decades, centuries trying to find ways to use their time to the best of their ability- and the only thing they’ve come to is to stay as soldiers, trying their best to scrub the scum off the face of the earth so the world stays clean. Illegal drug trade, weapons smuggling, extremism, genocide, doing whatever they can to help the innocent and the blameless from violence, and dying to do so.

What else is there to do with all the time? They tell you. Money, luxury, empires, it doesn’t matter when you live forever. So instead they fight, do what they can to save humanity from itself. It’s not an easy job, but it must be done.

They’ve seen things that haunt the shadows of their eyes, witness to the worst villainy and grotesqueness humanity has to offer. They’ve all had to take years off when the burden of the world became too heavy for their souls.

You don’t learn of the time when one of them, and they’ll never say who, tried to give up entirely, had become lost as he desperately tried to rid himself of his immortality. They don’t speak of the decade it took to bring him back, to mend his soul back to fullness once more. It’s a gift, they’ll tell you, but you too will come to learn it’s a curse.

The silence is broken by Soap.

“Can be fun, sometimes.” He offers. “Kyle and I have a runnin’ bet over who dies first in whatever year we’re in.”

“No killing each other.” Price reiterates, scowling at Soap and Gaz, who look guilty. “Not even for fun.”

You make a note to ask about that story later.

“And most of all…” Price goes on, voice grave. “Don’t get captured.”

You remember the infirmary, the cuffs, Graves standing over you with his cold, calculating gaze as fear mounted higher inside you.

You shudder, and Soap lays a warm hand on your shoulder in reassurance.

“They won’t find you.” Ghost provides, and his voice is softer, eyes kinder. “You’re with us now.”

“Simon is right.” Gaz adds seriously. “We’ve been doing this for decades. Your commander has nothing on us.”

You offer him a grateful smile, and remember his warm eyes in the moment you first met him.

“We’ll be here when you wake up.”

These men saved you from a fate that was out of your control. They rescued you, kept you safe, and refused to leave you behind. They brought you to safety, comforted you, and even now they take care of you from your own fear of the future.

“You’re one of us.” Price offers quietly, strangely tender. His hand settles on yours, squeezes it hard for just a moment. “We don’t leave behind one of our own.”

You smile at him through the tears, more grateful than you can express. You’re still scared, and in the years to come you’ll still have nightmares of the man who killed you twice over, who had once been your ally. His betrayal sits in your heart as distant terror, and when it becomes too much your new family holds you, comforts you once more.

You’ll grow with them, fight with them. You’ll hold them as they breathe their last, cry with them over the things you couldn’t accomplish in your never ending fight against the worst of humanity. You’ll lament the agelessness between you all, but will help each other to stand once more. You’ll stand beside them for the centuries to come, and you’ll die alongside them.

And then you’ll wake up.

#cod x reader #cod x you #cod x gn!reader #cod x y/n #141 x reader #oneshots #old guard au

919 notes · View notes

mvltisstuff · 8 months

Note

Eddie Diaz x female reader

Eddie and reader are childhood sweethearts and have been engaged for 4 years with their wedding is in a few months, reader is also a firefighter with the 118 & also maddie’s best friend. Reader is also close friends with Ravi and Buck. Reader is walking home one night alone after collecting food for Chris and Eddie when she gets mugged and attacked and left for dead in an alleyway, she has multiple injuries such as a gunshot or stab wound, dislocated shoulder, dislocated knee, broken arm along with cuts and bruises to her face. Someone finds her and she ends up in the hospital in a coma, eddie has a breakdown in the hospital and Chris also visits reader crying. Reader wakes up and panics about the wedding as she needs physical therapy on her knee that was injured, worried that she won’t be able to walk down the isle to Eddie, she has a panic attack and everything goes wrong. Maddie tries to help her through it. You can decide on the rest. 🩶🩶

sorry this is so long😅🥲

hope you’re doing well and having a great summer ❤️‍🩹🤍 xx

let the light in - e.d

summary: request

eddie diaz x reader

gif from @housewifebuck

a/n: this request is from quite some time ago, but it’s been in the drafts for too long! i apologize and hope you enjoy <3 also this is not proofread btw 😭

each hit to her body ricocheted through her muscles, feeling the marks and scars form on her skin. it was a foreign feeling, one of fear and pain. y/n was helpless on the ground of the alley, and there was nothing she could do.

her heartbeat thumped in her ears, and she was horrified that she might not even look the same, let alone be the same. she faces things like this every single day, saving someone’s life but she could barely manage to save her own.

she only wanted to bring home food for chris and eddie, her beloved ones who instantly became her family. she was almost like a mother to christopher, and he was connected to her as she was always there for him.

the moment eddie proposed to y/n, he knew that there would be no hesitation. he had never felt this way about a woman before, let alone want to live with her until their hair turned grey. every single part of y/n left eddie enamored, just falling for her all over again. her persistence and attitude was nothing but precious to him, and he couldn’t help but love every part of her.

he waited for her to come home, knowing that she would be stopping at the grocery store. it was late, the sky dark and the streets only illuminated by the street lamps. he knows how tough she is, and she’d be ok. so, he patiently waited at home with his son, the worries in the far back of his head.

as y/n’s body was dragged about and penetrated with sharpness, all she could think about was her fiancé and stepson at home. the two people she loves most in this world. it was so hard not to give up and let these criminals take her life, but she knew neither of them could deal with her life being stripped away.

let alone the 118. bucks been her best friend since day one, being the first supporter of her and eddie’s relationship. he completely adores her and her humor, along with her strong work ethic. ravi has always looked up to her from the moment he stepped into the station on his first day. she assisted him and taught him with kindness, but didn’t go easy on him. she’s the reason that ravi is the firefighter he is, and he idolizes her for that, in and out of work. hen and chimney have been alongside her, running into each building and saving a civilian. she was almost too good to be true, and the people who attacked her had no idea.

the men heard the crumbling of rocks underneath tires, and scurried away into the midnight. y/n was left there to rot, laying on the hard ground and feeling herself bleed out. her entire body was in agony, but it was nothing compared to the thought of losing herself.

her weak fingers traveled to her pockets, taking out her phone with a shattered screen. surprisingly, the group wasn’t smart enough to steal it, and she thanked god for it. her blurry vision was tempting her, minutes away from fading into complete darkness. her mind was shrouded with negativity, but a flicker of hope came in when she heard maddies voice on the other side of the phone.

“maddie.” y/n groans, practically inaudible. maddie freezes at the letters of her name leave this woman’s mouth, being strictly confused but also horrified. “y/n.”

the slightly collection of blood in her mouth made the words jumble together, maddie using every ounce of brain power to put the pieces together.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t-“ the light goes off in maddies brain, finally being able to put the letters together, forming y/n’s name. “y/n?” she hears a painful groan of agreement from the muffled earpiece. “can you tell me exactly what happened?”

“they tried to kill me,” y/n informs her, slowing her breathing but it only makes her head spin faster. her eyes are closed, fighting the unconsciousness that’s begging to take over. “maddie, i’m not gonna be able to stay awake, but… i-i’m somewhere near the interchange.”

“y/n, honey, you have to try and stay awake for me, okay?” maddie begs, her eyes filling with moisture as she hears y/n’s small voice come through the phone in stutters. “y/n?” the phone lands over her torso, beginning to be stained with blood as y/n’s mind is shrouded in black, unable to process anything any longer.

eddie sat in the living room with christopher, watching a show for chris to practice his spanish. they were both invested in the plot, but also trying to expose christopher to the language.

eddie adored nights like this with his son. christopher is his sun, and his world revolves around him. he protects christopher with every ounce of his being, and there’s not a moment where he regrets any of it. the room was dimmed, the wick of the candle radiating a sweet smell as the words on the tv came through.

there was excitement in his mind as well, knowing y/n would be home soon to greet them. her alluring smile would be seen the moment she stepped in the door, and her bewitching voice became music to the boys. instead, when he heard others car doors slam, he was confronted with silence from his front door afterwards.

the next 15 minutes passed slowly but surely, and there were no signs of y/n coming home. he checked his phone only to find no messages or calls. his thoughts began to run through everything that could’ve happened, and he attempted to focus on the brighter ones. he finally heard the knock on the door, the pounding coming off assertive. somehow, he still wanted to find optimism and it could’ve been y/n.

when the door swung open, a burly man who was slightly taller than eddie stood in front of him. he had on a jacket with the LAPD, and eddie’s heart fell at the look on his face. it was blank on the outside, but eddie could tell he was here to deliver something horrid. he listened as the officer deeply uttered his first and last name, christopher lifting his head to the door at the unfamiliar voice.

in this line of work, eddie knew exactly why the man was here. “where is she?” eddie’s voice crackles, showing weakness when he’s so used to being strong.

the ride to the hospital was silent, deafening silence that only turned up the volume on eddie’s fears. the chugged through his head like a train on tracks, and he could barely see straight. he had absolutely no idea what to expect, only knowing that his girl was in the hospital. for all he could know, she could be wide awake or she could be in the morgue.

it felt like someone had grasped his heart, restricting him from breathing as he saw the almost empty waiting room. he desperately looked for anyone, finally landing his eyes on maddie.

“maddie!” he shouts, stomping over to her in anxiety. “what the hell happened?”

“i got a call,” maddie told him, her voice shaky and uncertain. “i could barely even tell who it was -her voice was so different- she told me that they tried to… they tried to kill her.” maddie mumbles the last part out, not wanting to imagine her closest friend’s life being taken.

the room started becoming blurry, all sights and sounds around eddie becoming irrelevant. it felt like he was the only person in the room, and someone from above was pointing and laughing at him. it was like a gunshot, being thrown back at the sudden force, or in this case, the sudden news that someone had attempted murder on y/n.

“i called buck, he’s on his way,” maddie says, fidgeting with her hands as she looks into eddie’s distant eyes. “eddie, sit down-“

“what room is she in?”

“i don’t know if you want to see her like this so fa-“

“maddie, i love you like a sister, but if you don’t tell me what room she’s in, i swear…”

“she’s in 319,” and that was the last thing eddie heard before taking wide steps through the hallways, his feet swiftly carrying him through the hospital as he eyes the door numbers. 316, 317, 318, and the one that held y/n inside. he prepared himself for the worst, but nothing could compare to actually seeing it.

each cut on her face was surrounded by a thick bruise disguising her angelic features. her soft, welcoming expression was replaced with discomfort and tightness. her eyes were tired and screwed shut, begging to remain closed and her lips were tightly coiled around the thick tube down her throat. the mechanical breaths pumped through her body, and eddie only hurt himself more with every step he took to her room.

she heard the thumping of footsteps down the hall, and prayed that it was eddie on his way to save her. she wanted him to just pick her up and they could run away, live their life and forget about all that happened that evening. she wanted to smile, but the look on his face was only disappointing.

his face looked as if someone had landed a punch to his gut, leaving his stomach dropping and shakiness building through his hands. he could barely figure out the words to say. his beautiful girl, the one he lays with at night and the one who kisses him with her soft lips. the one who he cries to and laughs with, and someone tried to steal it.

she had a long, white cast over her leg, being slightly elevated in the bed. he could see the bandages all over her body, and the thick wrap of gauze around her belly. he didn’t have any idea what to say, and it brought eddie back to the former years.

before he and y/n dated, shannon had passed away as eddie watched the life leave her eyes. he felt everything, the guilt, the grief, the anger. it took too long for things to return, but he never, ever wanted to experience that again. he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t manage to push through losing y/n.

y/n wanted to move so bad, she used all fibers of her muscles to try and bring herself up to meet eddie, but she was only met with his frozen figure staring down at her own. someone had put chains on her body, restricting her from moving or speaking, let alone open her eyes. she wanted to be caught while she was falling, but was just left dangling in the air without a hand to grab onto. just by the aura eddie reflects, she knew he was there.

he stepped closer, running his smooth fingers down her rough wounds, brushing her silky hair down. the hissing of her intubation flooded the silent room, realizing that it’s the only thing keeping her alive.

the door had remained open, the doctor entering the room and knocking on the open door. he stepped out and stood in front of the bed, carrying binders and charts in his arms. he looked through them, explaining each familiar term to eddie as he went down the list of y/n’s injuries. the doctor knew eddie well, him returning to the hospital to drop off a patient, or god forbid a patient himself. he let eddie sit alone next to her in the room, watching the very small movements of her chest.

the next person came rushing in, much faster than the doctor had. buck swung the door open, maddie trailing behind him in hesitation to see her friend like this.

“jesus,” buck whispers under his breath, stepping closer to eddie who’s elbows kneel on his knees. “you holding up?”

“i’m fine,” eddie tells his friend, fully aware he’s far from it. his eyes wander down to the ring in maddies hand, the one eddie remembers shining in the little box. it’s been years, but with their schedules, they could never find a date. they found their perfect venue and time, and y/n was so excited. now, it was questioned whether or not she would even make it to their wedding.

“i’ll call her family and take care of stuff for her and work,” buck assists, patting eddie’s shoulder before moving back out of the room with his cell phone. maddie takes this opportunity to step closer to eddie, and try to touch his heart to help ease the pain.

“you need to eat, or walk for a bit, eddie.” maddie tells him, lightly throwing her arms up and receiving zero glances from him. when she notices the distance in his eyes, she knows exactly what he needs. “eddie!”

he perks up, looking into maddies soothing eyes and seeing her begin to walk toward the door. “she’ll be ok for a minute, please just come with me.” she pleads, finally achieving to get eddie out of the uncomfortable hospital chair.

eddie follows maddie through the halls like he’s just a kid, letting his mother lead him through. it was a strange feeling, one that was out of his control. the control that he’s so used to having. maddie sauntered casually through the thick white walls and metal stretchers in the halls. she looked up and down the stretch of area, seeing no nurses or doctors. she swung open the storage closet, yanking eddie in and standing in front of the door. she leaned against it, looking into eddie’s exhausted eyes. they were so close to breaking, and maybe that’s exactly what he needed.

“it’s ok to let yourself take a break.” maddie says to eddie, watching him place his hands on his hips and allow his tired eyes to well up. “do whatever you have to. scream, cry, lay on the ground, throw those lap pads. it’s clear as day that you’re about to fall apart and you can’t carry this weight and be there for her at the same time.”

he spun around, spitting out a dry chuckle and losing the eye contact. he couldn’t face it, he couldn’t handle someone watching him look so weak. however, when maddie turned around, he knew that she was safe, and that he was too.

first, his breathing starts to pick up along with the sharp burning in his nostrils. it was as if the gears of an attack started turning, and eddie knew now that there was nothing to stop them.

his hands began to shake, messily frizzing his gelled hair as his fingers ran through it. his already tightened chest had began to feel like it was being crushed, and someone was wrapping their strong fingers around his heart.

the tears started coming in constant streams down his cheeks, leaving shiny residue on the soft skin. he tasted the salty cries on his lips whenever he took a deep inhale. with a strange sensation, there’s a feeling of lightness throughout his body. he knows too well that y/n remains helpless in the other room, but he also knows that he can’t control it.

in such a simply way, eddie cries. he cries for his son, who he knows is going to be completely shredded by the news of y/n’s condition. he cries for her parents, thinking about someone’s little girl in that bed. he cries for himself, watching his beloved fiancé lose herself. of course, he cries for y/n and how everything she loves has vanished due to the villains in this world.

when maddie turns back around, eddie is hunched over with his head in his hands. his fingers aggressively swipe at his eyes and cheeks, trying to rid any signs of upset in his face. maddie gives him the smallest, but the most reassuring smile that he’s gotten in a while. she opens the door, stepping out and they both walk back to y/n’s room.

eddie didn’t want christopher to see y/n so vulnerable like this. y/n had been a role model to chris since the day he met her, becoming an instant prized person in his life. christopher knew y/n was hurt, buck being the one to break the news as eddie physically couldn’t form the words. a few days had passed, and christopher still had not seen y/n, or barely even known what happened. someone did something bad, and that’s the only thing he could handle hearing.

christopher begged to see y/n to his dad, who tried to hide the situation from him as long as possible. he allowed eventually, becoming aware of the unfairness, and that christopher deserves to see favorite person, too.

buck walked into the doors with christopher, eddie meeting them at the front. eddie had become more accustomed to the sight of y/n on the bed, and her limp figure resting silently. he couldn’t help but let out a cheesy grin at his son, seeing him excitedly walk in to see y/n.

“dad!” he shouts, stepping closer to eddie who then embraces him.

“hey, chris!” he replies, thrilled to see his boy after the past few days from hell.

“is y/n better yet?” he asks, and the naivety almost breaks eddie.

“uh, not yet, buddy,” eddie mumbles. “she’s still sleeping.”

“can i please see her?”

“you can, of course, but christopher,” eddie kneels down to match his height, placing his hands on christopher’s sides. “i want you to know that she doesn’t look normal right now. it’s okay to be scared.”

“are you scared?”

eddie looks at the ground, not wanting his son to see him in his moment of weakness. he looks at buck, who wears the matching expression of glumness on his face. “yeah, i am. but, it’s going to be ok.” he takes christopher to the room, greeting everyone else who came to visit her.

hen leans against the wall of the room, toward the end of her bed. chim sits against the window, a grimace formed on his lips. ravi had come to visit, only being able to watch y/n on the small mattress. bobby watched, painfully, from the corner as well. athena had stopped by, but she was still on duty and had to leave.

christopher walked in, stepping up toward the bed and seeing a smile form on everyone’s face. they adore him, but he doesn’t understand how they can smile right now. “can she hear me?”

“i think she can,” hen replies, giving another grieving, but comforting expression

“y/n,” he begins. “i know you’re really hurt, but we all need you to come back. it’s not your fault, but you have to come back to us, and dad. everyone is here for you, and we all love you. you’ve always taken care of me, and i need you. you can’t let the bad guys win.”

eddie leans against the doorframe, his hand over his mouth and tears sprinting back down his face. he attempts to choke back the audible sobs, but the silent weeping in the corner almost felt worse.

the days passed, slow and agonizing days of seeing her only linear condition. it felt like nothing was going anywhere, until the doctors came in to check her on the week mark.

“her brain function is looking pretty good, it’s honestly best that the coma saved some of it. her heart rate looks extraordinary, and her white blood cell count is good, mr. diaz.”

the good news comes light as a feather to eddie, barely touching the optimism in his head. he knows he should be happy, but until he sees that beautiful face that he calls his awake and alert, nothing will be the same. he knew he should be grateful that she’s even breathing, but what he would give to be able to bring her back to the surface and hold his hand.

as much as it stung his heart, life continued without y/n’s consciousness. he had a child who had needs, a family who had needs, the person inside of him that also had needs. he was too smart to know that he was destroying himself every minute that he spent next to her brittle body. maddie swore to spend every second with her that eddie couldn’t be.

she sat besides her, spoke to her, told her stories and read her books. maddie always let y/n cry on her shoulder, now it was maddie weeping on her bedside. hours ticked by on the shiny hospital clocks, and the sun crept down and dimmed the sky along with the room. maddies eyes were pushed with weight, her own sleepiness covering her thoughts. she allowed herself to slump back on the chair, pulling her legs up and her breathing began to shallow, lulling herself to sleep.

the next time she awoke was around six in the morning, the morning sky slowly being illuminated by the orange sunrise. the light outside was glorious, the painting on the horizon better than any artist could create. the swift streaks of clouds only simply covered the sliver of sun peeking out.

when maddie stretched out her arms, she smiled at the warm colors outside the big glass window, she searched around the room, noticing the soft sound of fabric shuffling on the bed.

it was almost like a ghost had appeared and laid in the bed, moving itself around over the sheets. maddie directed her eyes closer, seeing y/n’s fragile fingers twitch and run over the smooth bed.

“y/n?” maddie asks, her voice still weak from her slumber. she begins to sit up, faster than before, to examine y/n’s face. there’s a brighter color to her features, her cheeks became more pigmented and she looked more full. she didn’t just look like another body in the hospital, waiting for her heart to give up on itself.

the more words that left maddie’s mouth, the more flickering she saw on y/n’s face. her heart was pounding against her chest, feeling the anxiety rise through her spine. “hey, y/n.” she whispers, giving a reassuring squeeze to her hand. after a few moments that felt like centuries, y/n’s eyelashes fluttered a bit, and her red, tired irises were finally revealed again.

eddie was laying on the couch, unable to sleep in the bed that once held the couple together. it felt eerily cold without her, his hand subconsciously floating over to run a hand over her back, only to be confronted with the chilly satin. he never wanted to leave y/n, but he also know that she would never want him to fall apart in the hospital watching her. he so badly wanted his eyes to finally shut, being able to give him even an hour of rest. someone had their fingers holding open his eyes, painting horrible images in his mind.

he turned on his back, his arm behind his head and staring into the bumpy, popcorn ceilings of his home. the home he shares with his son and his fiancée, the two people he cherishes the most. now, it was filled with darkness and loss and he prayed that he could get it back.

something grabbed ahold of his mind, halting his thoughts with the blaring noise of his ringtone. when he saw the ID of maddie illuminate his phone, he thought of the worst. either y/n was dead, and he never gets to see her again, or nothing has changed, and there is only more of an agonizing wait.

“eddie, you should get here,” was all he needed to hear over the phone before he roused christopher, dropping him off to get more rest at his tías, and eddie continued to speed over to the hospital.

the tube was gone. it was replaced with a skinnier cord, only pushing air into her through her lungs. her face, still bruised and scraped, but so alive. her eyes shined through the room, meeting eddie’s with a slight upturn of her lip. she was laying on her side with her hand under her cheek. the dark bags under her eyes were clear, but practically matching with eddie’s.

the moment he walked into that room and saw her, his rapid heartbeat began to slow, leaving a dropping sensation in his chest. he scurried over, not being able to stop himself from placing a long kiss on her lips, the ones that had just almost been taken from him.

“i am so, so sorry, mi vida, i wish i were here when you woke up,” he cries, tears welling up in his eyes.

“but you’re here now,” she rasps out, trying to lose the discomfort in her voice. “you’ve been here the whole time for me.”

“don’t ever leave me like that again,” he sighs, pressing his forehead against her own, letting her wired hand be placed on his cheek.

“i wasn’t scared of them,” y/n tells him. “i was scared that they’d take you away from me. i don’t ever want to leave you in the dust like i did last night.”

“last week, honey,” eddie grins with a bit of pity on his voice.

“oh, yeah,” she chuckles a bit, but afterwards grimacing at the pain in her abdomen.

“you should go to sleep, get some real rest this time.”

“i just slept for like, 160 hours, eddie.”

“i know, baby, but you still need to let yourself heal.” she smiles up at him, silently thanking him for his gentleness and tranquility. she nods, as he steps out to see the doctor. maddie returns back in, clutching her purse by her side and smiling her gorgeous maddie beam.

“hi again,” y/n smiles, seeing her best friend walk into the room once more.

maddie carefully walks in, placing her bag down and hugging y/n’s laying figure. “how are you feeling?”

“physically, a bit better,” y/n says.

“but what about the y/n i love. how is she doing in there?”

y/n pauses, all the thoughts rushing back through her head. every sentence screams through her ears, wanting to push itself to the front of her mind. every worry, every fear comes clean to the surface.

“maddie, i don’t know what to do,” her eyes begin to water, and her voice starts to tremble along with her hands. “we’ve been trying to plan this wedding for so long, and those men just took it all away from me. how am i supposed to just move on from that? i’m never going to be able to be the same after that. and eddie,” she sighs, pushing a long exhale out through her mouth. “i feel like i completely destroyed him with this. and now, i have to go to PT and i can’t even walk down the isle by myself! one of these days he’s gonna realize that i’m not worth anything anymore. i’m horrified that every day he has to take care of me, is just one part of him that doesn’t want me anymore.”

her breathing picks up, maddie trying to ease her but ultimately not being able to with just a simple touch. she looks at eddie, still focused on the doctor.

“listen, y/n/n,” maddie begins. “that gang took so much from you, but you have so many people on your side. they lost, you won. and with eddie, he would bleed himself dry if it meant you came home with him. every single breath you take is worth a million dollars to him. you are the most, fighter bitch i’ve ever met, and if anyone’s going to bounce back from this, it’s you. the moment you two kiss on that one night, all this worrying will be for nothing. he is your soldier, and he’ll never leave you. he would fight the gods if it meant he could keep you next to him every night.”

the tears fall onto her pillowcase, leaving several dark patches besides her face. eddie turns back around, letting himself back into to room only to see the upset written all over y/n’s face.

“hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, the sweetness in the delivery of his words. maddie looks up at him, her eyebrows tilting up together in a sadness for her friend. sharp inhales and gasps come through y/n’s body, using her shaking hand to wipe the wet tears from her cheeks. “you’re ok, baby, i got you.” he tells her, sitting besides her on the bed and caressing her side. maddie kisses her cheek, stepping out of the room to leave the engaged pair alone.

“i never want to be away from you again,” she sobs. “promise me you’ll never leave me, and i promise i’ll always love you.”

“i’ll make this promise to you until the day we grow grey hair, or the day you don’t remember me anymore. i’ll promise you this every single day. i mean it when i say i love you more than anything.”

526 notes · View notes

m3r1m4r5u333 · 13 days

Text

I'm surprised at how differently people are seeing Buck's coming out scenes with Maddie and with Eddie. Saying that Maddie was truly surprised, and Eddie wasn't?

My personal interpretation of these scenes was the other way around!

I thought that Maddie was only really surprised that Buck had finally realized somewhat that he likes men, too.

And then Maddie rapidly realized how tragically confused Buck still is. I feel like the very delicate line about figuring what what to say to Eddie was definitely Maddie subtly talking about Buck's feelings for Eddie.

This is her being like "Wow. My brother truly is an idiot." That's such a sarcastic "wow".

I think Maddie just saw what a tangle of mess Buck's feelings still were and just decided to roll with it, and switch to lighter topics - the hot firefighter. Edit. Sorry, pilot 😂 truly an imposter, hard to tell them apart..

And Eddie?? I think Eddie's reaction was the opposite of that. Eddie was floored, and scrambled to hide his shock.

Even when Buck talked about the date with Tommy, the "BUCK likes men" didn't register at first. Tommy's queerness was easier to digest, so his mind went there first. That made it seem like Buck liking men was totally no-news, no surprises there to him.

But then it really registers, and his eyes go WIDE and his voice goes all wonky. What, you TWO were..???!?

And this "Okay." It isn't as apparent in gif form, but his VOICE when he says that "Okay". Stunned. It's this... Grunt. Like he can barely talk all of a sudden.

Then Buck starts to get nervous, asks if it's weird.

....

And Eddie sees it - Immediately jumps to reassurance mode. Be nice! Be supportive! Hide the shock! Have his back!

But he's still kinda this mixture of nerves and overt relaxation. He's pretending to be chill, casual. He's not. He's just decided to let himself really think about this LATER, not this minute. Buck needs his support, not his shock.

And then in that same episode there's that scene about not being able to "perform" with Marisol since finding out.

It happens earlier than Buck's coming out scene and it's masked to be about Marisol's nunhood... but the subtext is there. It's in the same episode. This is a game of scrabble... Rearrange the scenes.

The episode hints that Eddie will leave Buck's place... with his mind reeling from the coming out. And that apparently has an impact on his sex-life!!!

#911 on abc #911 buddie #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie 911 #evan buck buckley #911 abc #tv: 911 #eddie díaz #maddie buckley #bi buck #buck coming out

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americaswritings · 1 year

Text

When we fall | Part 1

Warnings (for all parts): Fluff, angst!!, description of injuries, blood, violence, use of guns, mentions of death, probably unaccurate policing/medicine

Summary: You moved to Chicago to start a new life. Working as a doctor alongside your brother Connor you make new friends and although you swore to yourself not to let any man in your life at least for a while, your promises fail when you lock eyes with a handsome stranger in a bar.

Words: 6k

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Doctor!Rhodes!reader

A/N: I just started watching Chicago PD (I'm on season 3 now) after I've been watching Fire and Med for years now. I just can't stand Voight so I only began watching for Jay and Burzek! And I am so in love with Jay. Please, this man is perfect. Just look at that handsome face!!

This is going to be a 3 part series I wrote on a whim. Originally I only planned on writing one scene, but then I figured it needed a backstory so this happened...

I have to say I am really proud how it turned out. I was just in such a flow when I wrote it that the story basically wrote itsself. I hope you enjoy and that the characters feel true to themselves :)

You had only began working at Gaffney Chicago Medical Center a few months ago, hesitant to work alongside your brother but knowing it was an opportunity, which would be stupid not to take.

Having moved to Chicago recently to be close with your brother after a messy break-up, you were still adjusting to your new life.

It was why you were more than relieved when you got along well with your co-workers, especially Natalie and her boyfriend Will.

They were understanding of your situation, were never bothered to show you where to find something at the hospital and made you feel welcome from the beginning as they invited you in on their group plans and joked like you were old friends.

Although you still felt a little uncertain at times to work with your brother, who had made himself a name as a brilliant trauma and cardiothoracic surgeon, he had been supportive since your decision to leave your old town behind and start a new life in Chicago.

Maybe, you thought, coming here had been exactly what you needed. A fresh start, a new beginning with new friends and no men to mess with your heart. At least for now.

“I told you I have sworn off men”, you sighed, shaking your head in amusement at Natalie’s try to play matchmaker. “They’re trouble. I don’t need that in my life right now.”

“Hey!” Will send you a look, though you knew he wasn’t mad. “She’s not wrong though”, April stated and Ethan next to her grinned. “I mean it though”, you said directed at Natalie. “I just want to focus on myself right now. My job. No dating for now.”

Everyone at the table nodded and you relaxed, glad you had found these people, who respected and supported you. “Cheers to that!” April raised her glass and you did the same when you noticed yours was empty.

With a groan you pushed yourself out of your seat and up, gesturing towards the bar. “I’m going to get another drink. Anyone want something?” They all shook their heads, already moving onto another topic.

As you made your way over to the counter you studied the people around you, trying to determine who was a cop, a firefighter and who a regular. Right in the beginning the others had introduced you to Mollys, claiming it was Chicago’s bar where first responders spend their time after shift.

Figuring it might come in handy to memorize some faces you let your gaze drift over the sea of people, recognizing a few men that Connor had once told you worked at the CFD. They were laughing loudly, beers in hand as they seemed to be talking enthusiastically about something.

At the table next to theirs your gaze came to a hold, your eyes caught by a man you had never seen before but looked slightly familiar. Your brows furrowed as you rummaged in your head for something that connected you to him, but you couldn’t find anything.

The people who sat with him didn’t look familiar either, consisting of men and one woman with chestnut hair. Your eyes drifted back to the man, who had caught your attention, his brown hair styled neatly and his hands wrapped around a bottle of beer that he just raised to his lips.

You didn’t meant to stare, but you were mesmerized, torn between trying to determine why he looked so familiar and captured by his effortless handsomeness.

He wore a green shirt, making you think his eyes were the same shade, although it was hard to know with the distance between you.

He seemed relaxed, leant back in his seat but listening to the others conversation attentively. Having sensed someone’s eyes on him he suddenly looked up, his eyes searching the room for a split second before they fell onto you.

Your face heat up as a blush crept up your cheeks, knowing you had missed your chance to turn away. The man raised his brows slightly, in confusion just as much as amusement it seemed, before he lightly lifted his bottle, as if he was saying cheers.

You clutched your glass a little tighter, glad that it had been refilled in the time you had spent gawking at him, and copied the movement, an unstable smile on your lips. Then you turned away, meeting Stella’s gaze from the other side of the bar.

The two of you had met when she had been at the hospital for smoke inhaling a while ago and you had clicked almost instantly, connected by your determination to hold your own in a field still dominated by men. And by your past with toxic relationships as you found out later.

“What was that?”, she asked, a teasing grin tugging at the corner of her lips as her eyes flickered between you and the man behind you. A part of you wanted to ask if he was still watching you, the other longed to forget it had ever happened.

“I don’t know.” You let out a dramatic sigh. “Can we just forget it ever happened?”

Stella’s face lit up, her curls dancing around her face as she shook her head. “Yeah, you wish. But that was definitely something.”

You exhaled, pinching your nose. “Thank you for the drink.” You saw Stella open her mouth in protest at your ignoration of her words, but before she could say anything else you send her an apologetical smile and hurried off.

No one seemed to have noticed your encounter and you slipped into the booth with ease, trying hard not to steal another glance at the unknown man a few tables away.

No men, you reminded yourself. Right now you needed to focus on getting your life together, not getting your heart broken by a handsome stranger.

“Dr. (Y/l/n)?” “Yeah?”, your head shot up from where you had filled out paper work. Because Connor and you were only half-sibling, you didn’t share the same last name, something you had been more than glad over when stepping foot in this hospital for the first time.

No one knew where you came from and that you shared genes with the successful Dr. Rhodes and you had left it at that at first, wanting to make your own impression first before dropping the information.

You could still remember their shocked faces, the questions, but most of all the excitement as they asked what Connor had been like growing up. If you had any embarrassing stories to tell or photos to show.

You didn’t, keeping them to yourself for now, because you hadn’t come here to make fun of your brother. He had been your rock through your breakup and your move here, something you were so grateful for you feared you would never be able to show him just how much.

“We have someone hit bit a bullet waiting in the three.” Your eyes widened. “Why didn’t they come with an ambulance?”, you asked, grabbing your iPad along the way.

Maggie waved off your comment, chuckling. “Cops. You know how they are.”

Actually, you didn’t. Coming from a small town you had no experience with shootings and gangs and many of the other trauma causes that were common here in Chicago. It was why you had been so excited about your job offer at the hospital.

Although you were still adjusting to the changes of living in a city and there were downsides you hadn’t considered before, you liked it. It felt so different, giving you the sense that in this city everything could be possible.

So many options and so many possibilities, as if you could completely reinvent yourself. It was thrilling, making you wonder how you had ever lived without the adrenaline rush of stepping into a busy ER.

Quickly scanning the information on your tablet you pulled open the curtain, clamping the iPad under your arm as you disinfected your hands.

“Hi, I’m doctor (y/l/n) and you are?” You glanced up, startled as you met the eyes of a familiar stranger. The man in front of you grinned, seemingly better at covering up his surprise. “Shouldn’t it say my name on your tablet?”

He didn’t sound rude, only a little sarcastic and perhaps even teasing. You gulped, trying to recompose yourself. “Right. I just prefer getting to know my patients myself than just relying on numbers and letters.”

You didn’t see his reaction when you grabbed your iPad again, glancing down at it. “So your name is Jay Hal-” “Halstead”, he finished for you and you looked up at him again.

It made sense now, why he had seemed so familiar to you nights ago at Mollys. “You’re Will’s brother.” The man in front of you, Jay, as you knew now, raised a brow. “Have you considered becoming a detective?”

He was mocking you, again, and you were tempted to smack him with your iPad. “So-”, he paused, letting his eyes drift over you. You felt your body tense under his gaze, cop’s eyes, and stood a little straighter.

“You were watching me at Mollys.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, biting your tongue. You could only hope the embarrassment that began to sink in didn’t show.

“I was not watching you”, you stated and he raised a brow, daring you to explain yourself. “I just thought you looked familiar, but I couldn’t figure out why. Now it makes sense.”

You turned halfway towards the door, gesturing to the halls where somewhere his brother was treating another patient.

“I don’t think that’s the whole truth.”

You almost gasped at the confidence in his voice, instead blowing out a breath. “It definitely was.”

He shook his head, smiling. “I don’t buy it.”

There were many things you wanted to say to him, but you swallowed them, knowing it was no use. He clearly enjoyed teasing you, so you wouldn’t give him more fuel.

Instead you let out a sigh, shifting into professionality. “So, Mr. Halstead”, you began. “Jay is fine.” You tried not to let his interruption let you lose your string again and nodded. “Jay, you’re here for a bullet wound on your left upper arm?”

Jay nodded, his eyes- they really were green- bright. Pulling on your gloves you decided it was time to reclaim your own position a little. “And you decided to just walk in here instead of coming with an ambulance? Seems a little reckless, don’t you think?”

He raised one brow at your question. “It’s just a graze. I wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for my boss.” He rolled his eyes, making you wonder what his boss was like.

“Seems like your boss is a lot smarter than you”, you muttered, but to your surprise Jay grinned. “You’re new here, right? At least I’ve never seen you here before. Do you always talk to patients like that?”

You shrugged, unbothered by his words as you stepped close to him to take a look at his arm. You didn’t know what had gotten into you to talk to him like that, but you had the feeling with him it was fine. That he could take it, perhaps even enjoyed it over your dry professionalism.

“Only to the ones I like best”, you said with sarcasm in your voice, too focused on inspecting his wound to check his expression.

Jay didn’t move under your touch, allowing you to move his arm before you let it go again. He had done this before, probably multiple times. It was why he was so unbothered, perhaps even annoyed to waste his time here on something that seemed unsignificant to him.

For a moment you were tempted to ask him how he could choose a job that demanded such sacrifice, but you didn’t know him and you doubted he would give you an honest answer. Not that you could blame him. You were practically strangers.

And was your job much different? Although you had never been hurt and doubted it would ever happen, you were still making countless of sacrifices for it. Taking on extra shifts, working through the nights, staying longer to take more time for your patients and putting their health over your own sometimes.

“It’s just a graze shot”, you said when you were done inspecting the wound, ignoring his look that seemed to say “told you”.

“But you still need to be careful with it. Give it rest, avoid any rapid movements, don’t lift too heavy with it…I think you know.”

Jay nodded, watching you remove your gloves. “Does that happen often?” He tilted his head in question and you bit your lip. “I mean, you- getting shot on the job.”

“Are you asking if I come here often?” His lips were curled into a lopsided grin, looking way too handsome on his features. You rolled your eyes at his teasing, ignoring the way your heart beat a little faster in your chest. “Forget it”, you stated, throwing your gloves into the bin.

“I am going to tell one of the residents to come and bandage the wound. Then you’re free to go.”

But before you could move the curtain again and leave the room you heard Jay’s voice behind you. “Wait.”

You paused, turning back to him slowly. For the first time he wore a serious expression, his jaw twitching.

“I’m with the Intelligence”, he stated, in a way that told you the name should ring a bell. It didn’t. You were too new to know much about it.

Jay seemed to sense it by your lack of a reaction to his words. “We’re…very involved in the City.”

Whatever that meant. You tilted your head in question. “You mean with the gangs?”

Jay shifted. “Voight, my boss, he can be very- intense.”

You nodded slowly, taking in his guarded expression. It was a topic you wouldn’t pry at. “And you’re okay with it? I mean- you’re just so…casual about this.”

You bit your lip, hesitant to ask him but curious as well. The cops in your home town had barely ever used their weapon to the point you sometimes even doubted they were able to.

Jay shrugged nonchalantly. “Before I worked for the CPD I was in the army. I’ve been through a lot worse than a graze. Getting shot at is just another part of my job.”

A veteran.

In such a short amount of time Jay had revealed so much to you. Suddenly you had a lot more respect for the man in front of you and you wondered if that was his way of coping, covering up his battle wounds and scars with sarcasm and wit.

You swallowed, trying to find words. But none seemed fitting. “Sounds like I will be seeing you here often then.” You kept your voice emotionless, although the thought of seeing Jay regularly made your heart speed up a little. Of course you would prefer different circumstances.

Damn his handsome face and wit.

He grinned slightly, shifting the atmosphere back to something lighter. “Don’t get too excited. I prefer staying bullet free.” “As you should.”

Typing something into your iPad you gave Jay a final nod. “Stay safe out there.” Then you turned to the door, already halfway out when you heard his voice again.

“I don’t even know your name.”

You froze, smiling to yourself when you tried not to put too much weight into the fact that he had called you back a second time. It seemed almost as if he didn’t want you to leave just yet.

But you pushed the thought aside, knowing it was pointless. You couldn’t let yourself get distracted so easily.

Turning back to him you put on a polite smile.

“You’re a detective, figure it out.”

You were surprised by your own confidence, but with Jay you didn’t feel shy or insecure. He made you feel like you could say anything and he wouldn’t mind. The type of man that didn’t get upset easily, so comfortable with who he was that it took a lot to get him to lose his temper.

“I could just ask my brother, you know.”

You shrugged, unimpressed. “If that lets you sleep at night, sure.”

You left the room smiling to yourself and it took you another few minutes to calm your rapid heart and collect yourself.

“You didn’t tell me you have a brother!” “What?” Will looked up from the computer, startled by the way you had barged into the break room.

Your shift was over and you couldn’t wait to get home and relax on the couch, but before that you needed to talk to Will. Because after encountering the other Halstead your mind hadn’t been able to let go of what had happened between the two of you. The way he had looked at you, teased you. How he had made you feel nervous and confident in just a matter of moments.

“Why didn’t you tell me you have a brother?” You leaned on the desk, sure that you had Will’s full attention now. “You didn’t tell us you had a brother the first few weeks either.”

“That’s different.” You shook your head. “And I did tell you. So…?”

Will leaned back in his chair, stretching his back. “I didn’t think it mattered. I would have introduced you eventually but- wait, is Jay here?”

You bit your tongue, feeling a little caught. You hadn’t thought that maybe Jay didn’t want his brother to know what had happened. But it was too late now, and anyway, how should you have known?“

"He was. He is fine though.” You kept your words vague, aware that you weren’t allowed to share personal information with Will. Even if they were brothers.

Will let out a sigh. “That idiot. Probably got himself in trouble again.” He reached for his phone across the desk and you quickly got up, straightening.

“You didn’t get it from me”, you threw in before Will could drag you into it and he looked up at you with curiosity in his eyes. “I wasn’t going to mention you.”

“Oh.” You nodded, feeling relieved yet a little flustered. Will studied you with attentive eyes, reminding you of his brother for a second before his expression shifted into suspicion.

“So you met Jay.” He said it in a way that proposed something meaningful behind his words, but you couldn’t figure out why. “I did.” You shifted your weight to the balls of your feet before swaying forward again. A nervous habit. “I bet he’s the younger one.”

“He is, yeah.”

You suppressed a grin. It made so much sense. “So I should probably head home now. I got the early shift tomorrow.”

“Right.” Will nodded, the phone in his hands seemingly forgotten as his eyes were still fixed on you. “Did something happen between you and my brother?”

Your heart sank a little. Were you really so obvious? “I told you I’ve sworn off men. And your brother is- annoying.”

You wished the last part didn’t sound like it came straight from a five year old’s mouth, but it was too late to take back.

“Trust me, I know that.” Will let out a sigh, but you could see the fondness in his eyes. The gesture alone told you they had a close relationship.

A cop and a doctor. What a pair.

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Weeks had passed since you had last seen Jay. He hadn’t shown up in the hospital again, which you were both glad for and disappointed at, and since you had been taking on extra shifts for a sick co-worker, you had spent almost all your time at the hospital or passed out in your bed.

“You haven’t gone out with us in weeks!” Sylvie was currently trying to convince you to come to Mollys. You had gotten to know her through Stella and the two of you had gotten along well, her sweet and kind nature something that made you feel comfortable around her instantly.

Although you had quickly learned not to underestimate the girl. She was working with a bunch of guys after all and had learned to stand her ground with them.

Sylvie could be very persistent, you realized again when she had called you to invite you to a girl’s night out. “Stella won’t be working today, so it’s our chance to spend the night as just us girls.”

You gnawed your lip, thinking. You were tired, craving your couch and tv more than going out again, but Sylvie wasn’t wrong, you had been mostly on your own the past days. Being a little social and getting out of your own apartment would probably be good.

“Urgh, fine”, you groaned. “But you’re paying my first drink.” You knew Sylvie was smiling triumphantly on the other end of the line. “Deal.” “Now get your ass over here!” It was Stella’s voice in the background and you chuckled. “You are the worst!”

“And you love us anyway”, she chirped and you hung up, shaking your head with a smile on your face.

You hadn’t thought about impressing anyone when getting ready, but you were more than glad you had put a little effort into your outfit and make-up when you stepped into Molly’s that night, your getup like a wall build around you.

“You came!” Stella crossed the room, her voice loud enough for a couple of heads to turn towards you. You could kill her for drawing attention to you, but you forced a smile onto your lips instead, trying not to look at anyone except her.

“Hey”, you muttered, shrugging out of your coat and hugging her. “Wow, girl you look stunning!” Stella’s eyes flashed up and down your body as she let go, a smirk on her face.

“A little quieter, please?”, you almost whispered, aware that you still had the attention of the people around you. Stella seemed either completely oblivious to it all or unbothered, because she grinned at you. “Looking like that you will draw attention to you whether you like it or not!”

You felt your cheeks heat up a little, glad when you spied Sylvie making her way over. “I told her not to make a scene, but she wouldn’t listen. You know how she is!”

You hugged her too, smiling as Stella let out a breath. “I did not make a scene. And I’m standing right here, you know?”

Laughing, the three of you made your way to the back, where you slipped into a booth, your drink already waiting for you. “You know me so well”, you told Stella as you took your first sip, relaxing a little now that the attention had mostly vanished.

“I got you, girl!” Stella winked at you, before launching into a story about their newest rescue. Soon you were enveloped in laughter and smiles, the stress of the last days forgotten for the night.

Only when Stella declared it was time for another round of drinks you felt the exhaustion return to your body. “I think I’m going to head home”, you told them, stretching a little in your seat. “Early shift tomorrow?”, Sylvie asked and you nodded.

“You’re way too selfless, taking on all these extra shifts”, Stella pointed out, but you waved her off. “I’m the new one, so it’s fine. Helps me get to know everyone and everything better and it’s not like I have much to do in this city yet. I only got my gym membership, but I didn’t really have time to look for anything else.”

“See? That’s exactly why you need time off! You should be out exploring the city!” You smiled at Stella’s enthusiasm. “It’s not like it won’t be here tomorrow. I’m planning on staying here, so there’s plenty of time to get to know it all.”

Sylvie offered you a smile. “I’m glad you do. I know it can be quite an adjustment to move to a big city like Chicago, but it will feel like your home in no time.”

You felt your heart squeeze painfully in your chest as you thought back to the past months, which had been filled with nothing but heartbreak, loss and a turmoil of emotions. Even as you had decided to start a new life in Chicago, you had been filled with fear and uncertainty, scared to make the wrong call yet again.

Never could you have imagined to find a job, that was so challenging, but gave you a sense of purpose and a group of friends, that felt like you had met them long ago.

“It already kind of does”, you admitted, your eyes fixed on the empty glass in front of you before you looked up at them again. They both looked at you with big smiles on their faces and you almost felt tears fill your eyes. It had been a long day.

“We should do this more often”, you told them as you got up and grabbed your coat. “That’s what I said!” Stella nodded.

“And I still need to show you that spinning class. You would love it!” Sylvie sounded so excited that you couldn’t help but chuckle. “I am sure. Just text me and we’ll find something.”

“And you’re sure you can’t stay longer?”

Your eyes drifted to the counter as you considered staying for another drink, but your body felt heavy and almost sore from the day’s work. “Next time. But you two have fun and don’t drink too much”, you winked at them.

As you excited the bar you waved towards a few familiar faces before pulling your coat closer around your body to prepare yourself for Chicago’s cold.

Still you shivered as you stepped outside, pulling out your phone to order an Uber. Something you had only done once before, on your way here, but was an easy and quick way of getting around the city.

It would take a few minutes for your driver to arrive and you realized it would have been a lot smarter to wait inside, but you hadn’t thought of it then and you felt too proud to step inside again.

Pressing your hands together you rubbed them against each other a few times to create heat, before slinging your arms around your torso. Chicago’s harsh winters wasn’t something you hadn’t gotten used to yet, but the promise of snow lingering in the air made it almost worth it.

You heard the faint sound of the door opening and closing behind you so you took a step to the side of the building, not wanting to stand in the way of whoever had just left the bar.

To your surprise the person came to stand beside you, his presence alarming you until you glanced up to find none other than Jay Halstead standing next to you.

Immediately your body relaxed again, as if it knew by instinct his presence meant safety. “That was quite an entrance”, he greeted you, referring to the moment you had stepped into Molly’s.

You felt your cheeks flush at the memory, hoping he couldn’t see it in the dim light of the streetlamp. “I didn’t know you were here.” You kept your eyes trained at the empty street in front of you, willing and dreading the moment your driver came to pick you up.

“I was with the unit”, he said and you turned your head towards him. “Are you here often?” He shrugged, his eyes darting to the building. “I guess so, yeah. It’s the place where everyone comes.”

You nodded silently, contemplating his words. “But if I want to be alone, I go to the bar at the corner North Milwaukee Avenue.” You met his eyes curiously. Was he making recommendations, because you were new in the city or did he have another intention?

“So bars and hospitals. Everywhere else I can expect to run into Jay Halstead?” You didn’t know why you asked, but a part of you wanted to know. Wanted to know more about him, what his life was like, what made him who he was.

Jay grinned faintly. “You make it sound like I’ve got issues.” “Do you? Have issues?” You were teasing and he smirked. “Doesn’t everyone?”

“I don’t think I have.” Even as you said it you knew your words couldn’t be farer from the truth. Hadn’t your issues been what had led you here?

Jay watched you for a moment, seemingly picking up on your change of mood, but sensing you weren’t ready to talk about it. You appreciated it, welcoming the silence to sort your thoughts again.

“So what led you here to Chicago?” His question was innocent and something you had been asked countless of times since your move here, but for some reason you felt the urge to be open with him. No lies or excuses.

And even if Jay barely knew you, you thought he would be able to pick up on it. He must be an excellent detective.

“There were some…things I needed to leave behind.” It was vague, but more than you had told most who had asked. Only the girls knew about your breakup, but even with them you hadn’t shared many details.

Jay didn’t ask further, his grave expression suggesting he understood you better than you might have thought. “Why Chicago?” You glanced away from him, taking in the empty road, the skyline with its lights in the background. “I needed a fresh start, somewhere where no one knew who I am. And I got family here, so it made sense.”

You could feel his eyes on you and you swallowed before facing him again. For a moment your eyes locked, none of you saying anything as you started at each other. Jay was the first one to break the heavy atmosphere, a smile dancing at his lips.

“But you’re not a criminal on the run, are you? Because I would have to arrest you, if you were.” The tension that had risen in your body at the mention of your past vanished and you grinned, relieved about his ability to lighten the atmosphere. “What gave it away?”

Jay leaned a little closer, his eyes glistening. “Maybe the way you always look over your shoulder-” You inhaled. Was that really something you did? “-or that you’re nervous around me, a cop.”

The air you had held escaped you in a surprised sound and you hugged your torso a little tighter. “I’m not nervous around you”, you huffed, shaking your head. Jay grinned.

“How is your arm by the way?” You weren’t interested in talking about yourself any longer, shifting the topic onto him. Your gazes travelled down his arm where his jacket was covering the wound you had inspected. It seemed like forever ago and like yesterday at once.

“It’s good. Voight’s keeping me at a leash, make sure I’m 100% before I get into the field again.” He said it like it wasn’t a big deal, but you could hear the strain in his voice. He missed it, being out there on the streets.

“Sounds reasonable to me.” “Yeah.” Jay nodded, a faraway look in his eyes. It seemed like you weren’t the only one with secrets.

You looked up at the sound of a car nearing, a black car approaching the two of you. Checking your phone you held it up. “That’s my ride.”

But you only managed one step towards it before Jay pulled you back, his hand wrapped around your lower arm. You gazed at it, confused and startled by his reaction and he loosened his grip, his hand falling to his side after a moment.

“You know the guy?”, he asked, pointing to the man that was sitting behind the wheel, an impatient expression on his face.

Slowly you shook your head, your eyes flickering between the car and Jay. “But he’s my ride. See-” you held up your phone to him, but Jay paid it little attention.

“Yeah, no, you’re not climbing into that car”, he stated, his voice firm but not unfriendly. “Wait, what?”

Surprised you watched Jay walk towards the car, waiting for the driver to pull down the window before leaning in. You couldn’t hear what was said, only watched the two speak for a minute.

Their conversation ended with Jay handing the man money, before walking back towards you as the car sped away in the darkness.

“What the hell was that?”, you asked as Jay came to stand beside you again, his body just as relaxed as before. “You’re new in Chicago, right?” You didn’t say anything, knowing it was a question he didn’t expect an answer to.

“You should not be climbing into a car with a stranger. And not in the dark.”

Your head spun as you tried to process what he was implying. “It was just an uber! Everyone does that around here.”

You sounded clueless and defensive, shocked about the sudden change of events. Jay eyed you. “Well, then take it from me to never do that again. At least not alone. Chicago’s not a good place, especially for women, trust me on that one.”

You didn’t know what to say, blinking at him as the impact of it sank in. What if Jay hadn’t stepped outside? You doubted anything would have happened, but what if he was right and you had been reckless? Naive?

“So how am I supposed to get around the city then? Because driving in this traffic is madness.”

For the first time since your interruption Jay smiled again. “You can just ask me. I am much cheaper anyway. And on top you will get to see my face.”

You rolled your eyes over his confidence. “Now that’s a deal I can’t decline”, you muttered, fighting the grin that threatened to spread over your face and failing. Damn it.

“But for real, what am I supposed to do? I can’t just call you all the time I want to go somewhere.”

“It wouldn’t be a problem if we went together.”

Your eyes widened as you almost choked on the air. “You mean a date?”

Jay shrugged, his eyes not meeting yours for only a second. “You can pay me back for saving your ass twice.”

“Twice?”

“Getting into that car for one and saving you from freezing here on the street by driving you home.”

Smooth. You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you. “Does that work with every woman you’re trying to impress?”

Jay shrugged, fiddling for something in his pocket before pulling out his car keys. You watched a car light up at the other side of the street, following Jay towards it.

“I wouldn’t know. And who says I’m trying to impress you?”

“Maybe because of this whole I’m-a-cop-and-I’m-so-tough-thing.”

Now it was Jay’s turn to chuckle. “That’s not just a thing. So, what are you saying?”

Oh. You bit your lip, considering the thought of going on a date with Jay. Hadn’t you just recently decided not to date and focus on yourself for a while?

But you couldn’t deny you wanted to say yes. To spend more time around him and enjoy the feeling of ease he gave you.

“Maybe.”

You said it with a teasing smile, scared Jay might take your answer in a bad way, but he sent you a confident grin. “I can work with that.”

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buddiebeginz · 5 days

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You know I think I find this kind of thinking even worse than people who just never liked Buddie to begin with. People who claim to love Buddie or who were Buddie shippers and who are now trashing Buddie just to prop up Buck/T*mmy are literally some of the worst.

I think everyone should be allowed to like and ship who they want. I'm not a multishipper so I don't ship Buck and T*mmy and I'm not the biggest fan of T*mmy in general but I do see the significance of him in Buck's story.

What I don't get is how so many of you have become so enamored with a ship from very little buildup that you don't care anymore about how important Eddie coming out and Buddie becoming canon is. Also that you'd go back on all of your opinions on Buddie and the history they've shared.

The fact is Eddie coming out as gay is incredibly important. Just as Buck coming out as bi is ground breaking in it's own way and increasing much needed representation for bisexual characters, a character like Eddie coming out would also be ground breaking. Eddie is older, a veteran, Mexican, a single dad, struggles with mental health issues, a firefighter, fits a model of stereotypical masculinity, etc. There are so many people who would be helped to see a character like Eddie have a queer awakening in ways that are different than Buck's.

Buddie becoming canon is also equally as important as the coming out storylines for Buck and Eddie. I know people keep trying to say it's not and keep hating on anyone who dares to talk about Buddie along with Buck's bi awakening but it all matters.

It's not that Buddie has to happen for Buck and or Eddie to be queer but it should. I could write a novel on the history that is shared between these men. They are so much more than just friends honestly not sure how anyone can even see them that way. If you compare them to any other friendship on the show there is so much more there. They also know one another and are there for one another in ways no one else is. Buddie already has this epic love story built up it's why so many of us are waiting for them to reach that next level of their relationship.

Buddie would also be groundbreaking in their own way if they make it a canon ship. We have never really had a slow burn queer romance especially not with two men figuring out their sexuality later in life like this and on a primetime show. It's also not just about Buck and Eddie it's about Christopher too. We've watched Buck and Eddie basically co-parenting together for six years. It would be so amazing and important to have Buck actually recognized as Chris' other dad.

I just don't get how you can watch these men loving and supporting and fighting for one another over six long years and then trash their relationship because one of them kissed someone else and call this new guy basically his soulmate. We don't even really know T*mmy or how a relationship with him and Buck might work out because they're not even in one they're just dating.

I don't get anyone who can't see how Buddie being canon could literally change how queer ships are written in the future. We deserve to have our ships written with the same passion and care as straight ships have been. Also don't say you love Buck and then say you want his endgame love to be some guy you don't even really know. He deserves an amazing love story like the other characters have had on the show. He deserves Eddie who has fought and screamed and chosen him time and time again. Who has literally made Buck Chris' other dad, even put it down legally in writing for all intents and purposes because that's how much Eddie trusts Buck and how much he means to him.

I know the show runners/writers don't let fandom stuff influence all the decisions they make but it has some sway because I fully believe our love for Buddie has helped push things to where they are now. It does seem there is a plan already in place for Buddie to be canon but things can always change in shows I mean Tim said he was still writing and filming episodes. All I know is if the more vocal Buck/T*mmy (endgame) shippers do anything to help derail Buddie happening I'll never forgive you. I'm sure I sound ridiculously dramatic here but this isn't just about me not getting to see a fictional ship. Buddie going canon and Eddie coming out mean so much more and I'm sorry some of you can't see that.

#buddie #911!

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kiddbegins · 3 months

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Secrets Kept - Matt Casey [Pt. 1]

Requested: kind of. The request I got gave me the idea, but I decided to split it up into a mini-series on my own

Word count: 3,759

Warnings: nothing really tbh

A/n: that little comment she makes is a canon event for me... didn't break my wrist though

Masterlist

Working at 51 was a blessing. Truly. Moving to Chicago from the east coast and so having a group of people practically invite you in with happy, open arms was exactly what you needed.

You were content with your crew, the boys shockingly open for having you be one of their first female firefighters, even the older men of the group were welcoming. Something you were sure was by some grace of god.

Regardless, your first year has been going great, and the closer you got to the one year mark the more you wanted to tell your lieutenant of your plans to apply to squad. Sure you could have put in an application months ago, got a head start on things, but you wanted the regular truck experience under your belt.

Get to know the way the Chicago fire department worked, get to know the people in the house in case you were detailed to somewhere that wasn’t 51. Which would suck. Not only because you liked the crew, 81 specifically but Severide was someone you wouldn’t mind working under.

“What are you thinking about?” A voice pulled you out of your thoughts and back to reality which was that you were staring in front of you at the mug that was still sitting completely filled.

You lifted your head, shrugging faintly as Stella took the spot across from you, “Uh, nothing, honestly. Kind of just zoned out.” In an attempt to cover the fact you were lying, you chuckled, “Not my best habit.”

Stella nodded, crossing her arms. “Yeah I have noticed that about you. Except that was usually when you were looking at someone,” A smile on her face as she not so subtly gestured towards the lieutenant at the opposite end of the table.

There was no real way to hide the way your cheeks tinged pink, a light scoff leaving your mouth. “I… I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.” You tried to divert your attention to the mug in front of you but Stella’s smile tightened.

“Oh, you so do.” She laughed quietly, leaning closer to you, elbows to the table. “You got the hots for-”

“Shush, don’t you dare say a thing. If I’m admitting this to you, you’re being bound to secrecy.” Your finger pointing at her made her zip her lips with an imaginary key, tossing it over her shoulder. “Thank you. New conversation topic now?”

Stella nodded, starting to go off about how she was gonna try and get a job at Molly’s, put use the mixology knowledge she had tucked into her pocket to use. Except Herrmann was apparently not entirely sure that was a good idea.

You rolled your eyes slightly, “You’d be great, you’ve made me a cocktail before and it was freaking delicious.”

“Right?! Thank you.”

“Not to change the topic again but can I run something by you?” You took advantage of the pause in conversation, Stella gesturing forward, urging you to continue. “Do you think I’d be a good fit for squad?” The question made the other girl raise.

Her lips tugged down as she nodded, “I don’t see why not? I mean everyone is if they get the right training? Why? You thinking about leaving us?” Stella was usually supportive and that was pretty soothing.

When you first joined 51, she made sure you felt welcomed, and maybe that was why you got the open arms as you got used to those around you. “Leaving us?” Casey looked up from the magazine in his hands, Stella’s voice coming out louder than she meant to.

You turned to him quickly, shaking your head, “No, no, not leaving.” You attempted to clarify with a waving of your hands.“I just uh, I was kind of thinking about trying out for squad is all. And I wasn’t going to say,” A pointed glare at Stella, “ anything until I knew if I was going to go through with it or not.”

Matt put the magazine down, leaning forward onto the end of the table. “You wanna join squad?” His eyebrow cocked up, something being said in between the words that you couldn’t put your finger on. Not disapproval but also not support.

Some sort of middle ground. “Uh, yeah? Is that an issue?” Your voice came out just a bit snippier than it was meant to, reading too much into the way he seemed to not think she could do it? To not want her to do it? “Sorry, that came out wrong.”

Mentally you slammed your head to the table, Casey shaking his head slightly, “No, it’s okay, you just uh, never seemed like you had an interest in it before. That’s all.” He replied, eyes lingering on you before glancing at Stella who had sat back, watching the two of you talk.

She was perfectly content in staying out of the conversation, letting you and Casey continue at it. “I’ve been thinking about it for a couple months. It’s no biggie. Sorry if I should have told you sooner.”

He waved off the apology, it wasn’t like you owed him the knowledge of your interest in the switch. And you knew that as your lieutenant and friend that he’d support you whether you gave him a big heads up or not.

“No worries, keep me updated?”

“Uh, sure…” You glanced slightly at Stella before standing, making a beeline for… well anywhere but where you were. It didn’t have to be so awkward around Matt, hell it felt wrong to feel so awkward around him.

But he was just so open about welcoming you in with open arms and the fact that he consistently checked in at the end of shifts made you feel all… warm inside. And sure, he was just doing his job, being a lieutenant and/or being a friend, but you couldn’t help the fact it made you want to grab him by the face and kiss him.

Which is a totally normal thing to feel. Kinda. You collapsed into a chair out on the apparatus floor, forehead leaning against squad’s table, each of the other guys just looking at you in confusion. The table was meant to only be for them but she’d already taken to it.

“Well hello to you too,” Cruz laughed out, tossing his hand of cards onto said table in annoyance, “alright I’m out,” they were playing some card game you didn’t know, just listening to them bicker back and forth.

Mainly Kelly telling Capp that his hand was crap and that he wasn’t bluffing (he was), but mixed with him arguing the same thing back. You sighed as the game came to an end, Kelly winning just like you assumed he would.

“Severide, could I ask you something?” You asked as the others went inside, the food for lunch being done and them apparently starving from what Tony had said.

Kelly nodded, “Shoot.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to ask, didn’t want you to think I was looking for an in or something but if I was gonna try for squad, do you have any specific classes and stuff you recommend?”

He went off into an entire list of classes, your eyebrows lifting as you sighed, “God. Alright, uh, could you… write those down? At least the last few, I got the diving and the hazmat but other than that.”

Kelly chuckled before pulling the notebook on the table closer to him and jotting most of them down. “Here, if you need to, I give you full clearance to name drop me to the higher ups.”

“That offer is greatly appreciated Kelly, thank you.”

Later that night, as always, the firehouse met up at Molly’s. Drinking, chatting, snacking on the small bowls of peanuts that Herrmann put out. Everything.

You were currently sitting at the bar, Otis on the other side rambling on about how he would like to start offering at least some sort of food that wasn’t the nuts but Herrmann was apparently fully against it.

As he was with most things. “I just don’t understand why he wouldn’t want to. It would help the bar immensely, don't you think?”

Stella, who was sitting next to you nodded, but you didn’t answer. Too busy gazing off to the one man in the entire building that you couldn’t have. “Earth to y/n.” She muttered on behalf of Otis, sighing as she followed your line of sight. “Jeez, alright, look at me.”

Stella snapped her fingers in front of your face. “What, what?” You flinched, turning to her with a slight glare in your eye.

“What? Dude,” She lowered her voice and turned to be away from the man who got pulled away seconds later, “you were staring at Casey. Again. Look, either you suck it up and ask him out, or you throw your crush off the roof of a burning building into the chicago river. Because you can’t pine forever.”

She leaned away as Sylvie came over, sitting directly next to you. “Hey, what are we talking about? I don’t know how much longer I could listen to Casey talk about construction jobs.”

“I would.” You commented before sighing and shaking your head, forcefully pulling your eyes away from the blonde Lieutenant. “And uh, just firefighting stuff. I’m starting to train for squad.”

Sylvie nodded faintly, “Hm, right, I’ll just listen in then,” she chuckled, ordering some fruity drink right after. The conversation ended up mainly being about movies you’d all seen, and making plans to see a new one together soon.

After a while you sighed, “I think I’m done, gonna head home.” Stella frowned before nodding.

“Alright, be careful getting there.” She spoke, knowing you had a few drinks and were a decent lightweight.

You nodded before standing, putting your jacket on and heading towards the door. “Oh hey, you leaving too?” The familiar voice of Matt Casey caught your ear as you grabbed the door handle.

Softly you nodded, pulling it open and letting him out first. It wasn’t awkward per say but there was an unexplainable silence as you both walked to your respective cars, his truck parked right in front of yours.

“You shouldn’t be driving.”

“Neither should you.”

Matt looked over at you, eyes lingering just too long that you felt yourself go warm. He nodded faintly, “Fair enough. How about I walk you home then?” He offered genuinely, always happy to make sure someone got home safe.

Even more happy to walk and talk with you the entire way there. Not that you lived far but it was far enough that you’d be walking for a decent amount of time. “It’s a bit of a walk.” You muttered, hands deep in your pockets.

“I don’t mind.”

It was so hard to ignore the way those three words made your heart skip a beat. Like he knew how you felt and all that. You nodded just slightly, not trusting your voice to be steady as you started in the direction of your apartment.

In actuality it would have made more sense to uber. Get there quicker, no awkward conversation with the man you wanted to kiss regardless of all those regulations. But how could you have said no and wasted the way you walked together?”

“So, Sylvie said you have a construction job coming up? You only talk about those if you’re not sure how to do them.” You glanced over at him, the blonde chuckling in response. He was aware that he did that, but he didn’t know anyone else picked up on it.

Slightly he nodded, “Yeah, these people want a shed, but they want it two floors, with an actual staircase but they don’t have the space for one. It’s frustrating.” Matt chuckled, fondly glancing over at you as your eyes stayed on the ground in front of you.

You nodded, “What about a spiral? Those aren’t like, a lot of space right?”

Matt stopped, looking over at you. “That’s actually a really good idea. I don’t know how I didn’t think of that.” He laughed softly before continuing on next to you.

“My apartment has one that has definitely given me tons of space so, I figured I’d offer it up.” You shrugged faintly, smiling warmly to the man. “Glad it wasn’t a stupid idea at least.”

“I don’t think you’ve ever had a stupid idea.”

“More like you’ve never seen or heard my stupid ideas. I have plenty.” You joked as you turned the corner, taking the chance to look up at him, the same smile on your face that didn’t seem to want to go away.

He raised his eyebrows slightly, looking at you. “Maybe you should tell me some of them then.” When you looked over at him he had a soft smile on his face, as if he actually wanted to hear anything and everything you could have thought of.

You immediately blushed, the thought of sharing half of the shit you thought throughout both your life and more importantly, the shifts you had together. “Uh, mmm, maybe if I wanted to embarrass myself I would.”

It was a good reason, hopefully a satisfactory one. “Oh come on, we’ve been friends for how long now? I don’t think anything you tell me could be that bad.” Matt lightly elbowed you. It was nearly impossible to give in.

Like seriously, he looks over at you with the stupidest and shiniest blue eyes and you’re expecting to not give in but then he gives a reassuring smile and it’s like he flicked the heel of Achilles.

“God fine, only because I can’t say no to your stupid blue eyes,” You huffed, looking down at your feet as you paused at a crosswalk. “When I was a kid, I thought it was a good idea to ride in one of those red Little Tikes cars on my mom’s friend’s porch.”

Matt shrugged, “Couldn’t have been that bad?”

“There were no railings and I went right off the side. Broke my right wrist.” You laughed quietly, shaking your head, “Not the first time I’ve broken a bone because I thought something seemed like a good idea.”

He rolled his lips in an attempt to not laugh, failing as he chuckled in response, “Okay, maybe not your best call but hey, you managed to make it here and you’ve had better ideas now.” Matt offered, “Like that call at that house fire last shift.”

You waved off the comment, “Someone would’ve thought of that too.”

“But you thought of it first.”

You didn’t get a chance to retort, your apartment complex coming up in just a few more steps. “Well, this is me.” You breathed out, turning to Matt as you stopped at the front stoop.

He stopped, just barely glancing over your shoulder to the apartment building before back at you. There wasn’t a bone in his body that wanted to leave you. Talking just.. Came so easily. It was probably the simplest conversation he’d had all day and between the other firefighters and the higher ups he was forced to talk to that day, he needed it.

“Oh, alright.”

There was no way to deny the fact you didn’t want him to leave either. Maybe you should have just kept walking. Take a tour of Chicago as if you’d never been before, maybe that would be a good way to get him to spend more time with him.

Just slightly you nodded, stepping forward to hug him, arms over his shoulders. The choice you made to do that was split second, not giving any chance to second guess. Matt hugged back, only a tiny bit shocked.

He wanted to have his arms around you longer, his grip not loosening as you pulled back. Your arms stayed over his shoulders, eyes darting over his face. What was he doing? Why didn’t he let go?

His gaze was on you with the intensity of about a three alarm fire, “Casey?” You muttered just barely, unable to pull your eyes from his once they locked onto one another. It felt like there was buzzing all around as he just slightly leaned forward.

Against everything you wanted to do, you slightly pulled your head back, “Casey, we can’t.” You sighed, punching yourself mentally and repeatedly, wishing you could’ve forgotten that he was your lieutenant, your superior. That it was wrong.

“Why not?” He muttered, already knowing the answer. Matt wasn’t unknowing of the rules. “You’re trying out for squad soon right?” That was why he was acting differently. How you hadn’t realized that before was a mystery to you.

You gaped slightly, “I mean yeah, but that’s not for a while.” You wanted to give in. Truly it was like he was mentally pulling you in and you were just strong enough to not let it phase you. Sort of.

But squad was far out. Months away. Hell you hadn’t even applied yet. But for some reason, Matt didn’t seem to really care. Well, he didn’t mind, but you on the other hand, were worried.

Matt moved a hand from around you, putting it on the side of your face, “It’s still going to happen.” He moved slightly closer, your body not moving that time. It wasn’t like he was wrong. It was going to happen.

What exactly could go wrong?

He noted the lack of rejection that time, eyes locking on yours before onto your lips, officially moving the rest of the way and pressing into a kiss. Every single neuron in your brain seemed to fire at once, your body immediately going warm.

Matt kept his hand on your cheek, your arms over his shoulders just enough to keep him to you. The way he held you made every thought, every bit of concern fly right out of your brain. As if you never even thought of it.

You leaned in more, grabbing at the front of his jacket like he’d suddenly disappear if you didn’t. He pulled back just slightly, the both of you needing to breathe. “Do you want to come upstairs?” Your voice was soft and low, Matt almost immediately nodding and muttering a yes under his breath.

In seconds you dropped your hand to grab his, pulling him upstairs and into your apartment.

The last thing you expected in life, well, in the last few months anyway, was to wake up to your boss looking over at you. Matt Casey being the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes made your breath catch and your heart nearly stop.

If you didn’t already think he was attractive, the way his hair was tousled from the night before along with the lazy smile that grew on his face at the first sign of your consciousness would have been enough for you to sleep with him.

Again.

Oh fuck, you slept with him. With god damn Lieutenant Casey. “Oh my god, we-”

“We did.” Matt cut you off, looking down at you, “And if you want me to leave and forget it happened I will. But if it matters at all, I would like to not do that.” He spoke soothingly.

Once again you were a snake and he was the charmer, calming you down as you sighed, “Don’t leave, but we definitely need to talk about this because honestly we shouldn’t’ve done this and if Boden finds out or worse-” Matt leaned down to kiss you, his lips probably the best form of being shut up you’d ever had done.

He hovered over you, a hand next to your head, “Breathe. It’s okay,” His hand moved to stroke through your hair. “Just, take a second.” Maybe it was you being blinded by your feelings but you felt like you had to listen, sighing softly.

“Go ahead.”

“Alright, maybe last night was a lapse of judgment, but, I have wanted to do that for at least the last two months.” Matt started, moving to sit up in the bed, you following suit, the blanket pulled up over your chest.

You could tell he wasn’t done so you simply nodded, “And finding out you wanted to try out for squad was probably the best thing I could have heard cause, working with you but not being able to do anything was suffocating me.”

Matt picked at a loose string on the blanket before he continued again. “If it means anything. I want to do this. Be with you.”

“Casey, we wouldn’t be able to at work-”

“So we don’t tell anyone. I don’t care if I have to become a hermit if it means being able to be like this again. And, I don’t just mean the sex. I mean, sitting and talking. Laying together. All of it.” His words were convincing. Almost like an angel on your shoulder.

Of course there was the devil part too. Your own thoughts being the negative side. Except, what exactly was there? Sure, no kissing or hand holding at work but would that be much different than the usual already? No.

Maybe it would be worth it. Having time like this with Matt was alluring. It was something you’d been thinking about for ages so why were you so hesitant to do it? “You’ll have to promise something then.” You spoke after a few moments.

“Anything.”

You let out a soft sigh, biting your lip, “You don’t treat me differently at work than how you always do. No, suddenly not putting me in harder situations. Or dangerous ones. I’m still a firefighter and I’m still a good one.”

Matt nodded, “You’ll still be one of my subordinates. No special treatment. I think in turn that means I have to tell you not to do anything stupid and expect me to let it slide.” He added and you immediately nodded.

“I expected nothing less. I won’t expect anything special and you don’t do anything special.” You thought before holding out your pinky to him. Matt looked at you with amusement. “C’mon. Pinky swear. Everyone knows that if you break one of these you get bad luck or whatever.”

Matt chuckled, nodding as he latched his pinky to yours. “Alright, I promise.” After a couple moments, you sank back into the bed, looking up at him. Without needing to say anything, he leaned over and pressed a firm kiss right to your lips.

“This mean you’re my girlfriend then?”

“I believe it does.”

“Perfect.”

JOIN MATT'S TAGLIST HERE!

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#matt casey #matthew casey #matt casey x reader #matt casey writing #chicago fire #chicagofire #chicago fire fanfic #fanfiction #one chicago fanfiction #matt casey imagine #matt casey one shot #one chicago x reader #x reader #teddy writes #teddy writes matt casey #teddy writes chicago fire #teddy writes one chicago

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bruisedboys · 4 months

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MAL’S 6K HOLIDAY PARTY !

this celebration is now closed. all finished blurbs can be found here

YOU ARE INVITED! to celebrate hitting 6k followers, and seeing as the holiday season is upon us, I’ll be hosting a super cool and awesome holiday celebration! there will be blurbs, moodboards, games and more. please come and join the fun (there will be lots of hot men there I promise) !! the celebration will run from dec 19th to jan 1st. below you can find the party agenda ♡

( please read the rules at the bottom of this post before sending in a request )

☆ THE GUESTLIST

( pick and choose your characters from the list below! )

───── james potter, remus lupin, sirius black

───── finnick odair, peeta mellark

───── miguel o’hara, tasm!peter parker, peter quill

───── bruce wayne (the batman)

───── bradley bradshaw, jake seresin

───── steve harrington, eddie munson

☆ THE MENU

( combine an item from the menu with a character on the list above! )

───── gingerbread house . . . send in a character from the guestlist + a dialogue prompt from this list or this list and I’ll write you a blurb!

───── candy cane . . . send in a character from the guestlist + an action prompt from this list or this list and I’ll write you a blurb!

───── hot chocolate . . . send in a character from the guestlist + an au + a prompt from one of the lists linked above, and I’ll write you a blurb! (eg. rockstar!remus, firefighter!james)

───── marshmallow . . . send in a character from the guestlist + an aesthetic, concept, trope, or colour and I’ll make a moodboard!

☆ MORE FESTIVITIES

───── ribbon. games! kiss marry kill, cym, would you rather, etc. (you can send in as many of these asks as you like!)

───── gift wrap. mutuals only! send this ask and I’ll make a moodboard to match your vibe/your blog ♡

☆ A FEW HOUSE RULES

please send no more than two requests per item on the menu. I don’t want to much of a buildup in my inbox otherwise I’ll get overwhelmed!

be considerate of my time and my efforts! although I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to fill out every request, I promise I’ll try my best! even if I don’t answer yours, please know I appreciate every request I get

no smut requests please! this is a sfw only blog, any nsfw asks will be deleted

✉️ a message from the host …

hello my angels! 6k!!!!!!! I am going to cry. thank you so so much for all the love and support, 6k feels huge! I’m really grateful I get to have my own little corner on tumblr to talk about what I like (aka silly fictional men I’m hyperfixating on) !! I’m grateful to every single one of you, and thank you especially for sticking with me even when I’m stuck in my (seemingly never ending) creative ruts, it means the world. also!! happy holidays!!! and merry christmas to everyone who celebrates. this is my little gift from me to you. have fun! x

♡ mutual tags!

@darling-im-wonderstruck @moonstruckme @ddejavvu @ghostlyfleur @venuslore @inkdrinkerworld @taintedcigs @bcyhoods @prongsio @starryeyedstories @zstrn @headkiss @thyme-in-a-bubble @earthcowgirl @sp1rit-realm @fxllfaiiry @wolvisms @spiderfunkz @rocklnds @oncasette @fitzells @louvrr @bradshawed @iovesia @amourrs @cosmal @vampieteeth @ouchvns @girlcanines

back to nav

#wow I’m a sap sorry about that #anyways #love you guys<333333 #mal’s 6k!

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diazbuckleydreamer · 13 days

Text

The Prize for Bad Behavior

Chapter 1: What are you going to do about it?

“I know why he’s acting like this. I just don’t know what to do about it.” Eddie sat across the glossed over wood bar table from Tommy. His pint glass hadn’t left his hand for more than a few seconds since the waitress set it down in front of him ten minutes ago and he looked more annoyed than Tommy had yet to see him. They’d just finished up the pick up game on the west side. A game they had easily dominated. They should be in a great mood. But their happiness over the game was being greatly overshadowed by the nasty attitude they’d both been on the receiving end of from Eddie’s best friend.

“You do?” Tommy questioned his eyebrow raising enough that he could feel the pull on his face. Still clearly irritated, Eddie gulped down more beer before coming up for air. His face twisted up into a scowl.

“Of course I do! I know Buck as well as I know myself.”

Tommy had no doubt about that. One of the very first things that Tommy had picked up on when Eddie and him began hanging out, was that he and Evan were attached at the hip. But Eddie’s own admission, the two were each other’s everything. And what Tommy didn’t understand, was how neither man had figured out that everything meant madly in love. He’d seen it a million times in his life. It was a common thing especially among gays. Two people who were best friends, trying so hard to convince themselves that’s all it was. But Tommy had a suspicion that in this case, the two men truly had no idea.

“He’s jealous!” Eddie’s words had Tommy pausing, glass halfway to his mouth as he looked over the table. For a moment, the words had made Tommy believe he’d been wrong, and that at least Eddie was aware of the feelings between them. But a quick assessment of the younger man’s face showed nothing more than surface level irritation.

“What could he have to be jealous of?” He asked, moving to drink his beer. Hoping that the move would hide his interest in the subject, which he was sure was obvious on his face.

Tommy wasn’t entirely sure where his interest lied at that point. There was a moment after the cruise ship rescue, where Evan had looked at Tommy with so much love and happiness and appreciation in his gorgeous blue eyes, that Tommy had sworn Evan was attracted to him. It was a thought that Tommy had felt was confirmed when Evan had gone to Hen to get his number before calling him up and asking him for a tour of the Air Support Hangar. But ever since that day, it had seemed like Tommy had been way off track. Evan hadn’t reached out at all. Not even bothering to reply when Tommy had sent him a text asking if he’d enjoyed his tour. What was more, the basketball game had been the first time Tommy had seen the adorable firefighter since that day, and he’d acted like both Eddie and Tommy were bugs on the bottom of his shoe.

And then, there was Eddie. Tommy couldn’t deny that the man was a knockout. He was hot, a ton of fun to be around, they shared a lot of interests and genuinely just enjoyed each other’s company. Tommy couldn’t deny he was excited every time he knew they were going to be hanging out. It felt just the same giddiness he had with past romantic partners. But despite the fact that Eddie had a tendency to flirt seemingly without realizing it, and a late night admission that he took the path in life he did solely because it had been what was expected of him, Tommy still hadn’t gotten solid indication that Eddie would be open to him making a move. So, he hadn’t.

Tommy watched the irritation melt off Eddie’s face at his question. It was replaced by a look of mourning. Eddie sighed. “He gets insecure.” He told him. It was the last thing Tommy had expected him to say.

“Insecure?” He parroted. “He’s good looking, sweet, from what I hear he’s a damn good firefighter. What is it he’s insecure about? I mean, clearly he knows he can’t be replaced. Especially not in your life.”

Eddie thought it over for a moment, the sad look on his face deepening. “He doesn’t know that.” His friend’s sexy brown eyes met his expectant gaze for a long moment, drilling in the overwhelming truth in what he’d just said, before flicking down to the table. “There’s a long and really messed up story behind it. But Buck doesn’t believe he’s enough…for anyone. I’ve tried so hard over the years to convince him otherwise. And he’s a lot better than he used to be, but-”

“Let me guess, but when it comes to you and your friendship, his jealousy is easily spiked.” Eddie’s attention snapped back up to him, disbelief clouding his eyes.

“Yeah. How’d you know that?” This was one of those moments, where Eddie spoke to him in a way as adoring as Buck’s gaze after the rescue. It made Tommy’s stomach drop a little. Like when the helicopter caught a slight down draft. Noticeable but not overwhelming.

“Because people are unreasonably protective over the things they love the most.” Tommy answered lightly. He knew that after only knowing these two men for a couple of weeks, that it wasn’t his place to interfere. Especially after Evan and Eddie had been tap dancing around the subject for years. But as a man who finally felt comfortable in himself and his sexuality, he couldn’t let two men who were clearly head over heels for each other, miss their opportunity because they refused to see it. If there was one thing that Tommy could do as Eddie’s friend, it’d be to lay this out for him.

Surprisingly, Eddie didn’t some much as a blink at Tommy’s words. A knowing expression pressed his features. “I know that better than anyone.” He muttered more to himself than his friend. “That’s why I’ve never told him that I want to be with him.”

When Eddie finally got the courage to meet Tommy’s eyes, it took a moment for him to actually see the smirk being offered his way.

“You knew?” He questioned. Tommy couldn’t help but laugh.

“Of course I knew. I mean, it’s pretty obvious-well, to everyone but you two apparently.” Eddie’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, giving Tommy the chance to compose himself. With a sigh of resignation, he threw caution and common sense to the wind. “Why do you think I didn’t ask you out on a real date?”

Eddie’s jaw snapped shut, his brows pressing together in confusion as he assessed the man across from him. Tommy knew he was questioning whether or not it was a joke, so Tommy met his gaze head on. “You wanted to ask me out?” Eddie finally asked. His tone not just level, but even holding the tiniest bit of teasing. Tommy’s stomach dipped again.

“Of course I did!” Tommy threw back playfully. “Come on Diaz, you’re a good looking dude. And a shit ton of fun to hang out with. Why wouldn’t I be attracted to you?”

Eddie let out an exhale that sounded a lot like a laugh from where Tommy was sitting. “Damn. And here I thought you kind of had a thing for Buck. I mean, I saw the way you were looking at him on the boat.”

Tommy’s teeth sank into his bottom lip. “I am.” He admitted before shaking his head. “Well, I was. But, you and I both saw how much he despises me.” His words took on a regretful tone that sobered both men a little.

Tommy wished he and Eddie would keep playing around and joking. In another world, Tommy would take this and run with it. He’d flirt, buy Eddie a drink or two. They’d hang out, hit it off, and maybe if Tommy were lucky, he’d be lucky enough to score a kiss before getting in his car and driving home.

But this wasn’t that world.

In this world, whether it was a stated thing or not, Eddie belonged to Evan. Tommy would respect that dynamic. Even though he’d admitted his feelings for Eddie, and Evan for that matter, he knew he wouldn’t act on it. Because he’d already gotten in between the two men more than he should have.

“He doesn’t despise you.” Eddie argued. “He just doesn’t know you. All he knows is that I keep hanging out with you instead of him.”

“Why do you?” The words flew out of Tommy’s mouth before he could stop them.

Eddie polished off his drink before responding. “Because I like you too.” He admitted. “And…the truth is it’s getting hard to be around Buck and ignore how I feel.”

Having the hot guy you're hanging out with pine over another man right after saying he likes you normally wouldn’t go over very well. But for some reason, Tommy actually felt honored that he’d been looped into the same statement as Eddie’s love for Evan. It somehow told him that Eddie was really into him.

“So, just tell him how you feel.” Tommy offered before downing the rest of his drink. “I know you think it’ll ruin things, but it won’t. I know it isn’t my place, but if the shit that went down on the court today says anything, it’s that he feels the same way.”

“You know, I was thinking the same thing. But I couldn’t bring myself to address it after his behavior. I don’t want him thinking that he can get his way by throwing a temper tantrum.” Timmy couldn’t help but laugh, loud and hearty at the statement.

“I can get behind that.” He said finally.

A look of pure astonishment lit Eddie’s face suddenly. “I’ve got it!” He told Tommy as he flagged down their waitress. Tommy did nothing to hide the curiosity and confusion on his face.

“What?”

Eddie handed the waitress a twenty to cover their drinks and told her to keep the change before pushing out of his chair. “Buck keeps forgetting, I’m a dad. I know how to handle a kid having a fit. I know how to give him what we both want while punishing him at the same time, but I need your help. You game?”

The mischief in Eddie’s eyes was something he hadn’t seen since the night of the rescue and it turned Tommy on to no end. Standing, he stepped around the table and up to Eddie. “I don’t know where you’re going with this. But I’m in.”

#buddie #eddie diaz #911 abc #evan buckley #911 #buckley diaz family #buck/eddie #911 fanfic #keep tommy!#buck x tommy #eddie diaz x tommy kinard #buck x tommy x eddie

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blazinghotfoggynights · 10 days

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It is totally possible to be a Buddie endgamer AND still support Buck/Tommy. It's possible to never be shaken from your stance as Buck and Eddie being soulmates while supporting every relationship they have been in, regardless of how dysfunctional it was.

Here's my take:

I want to see both Buck and Eddie explore life and find their true paths independently of each other, Christopher, and the 118. They are more than just each other's best friend/coparent, Christopher's fathers, and firefighters/part of the 118 family.

Since we know there is a season 8, and I would guess a season 9+ if these ratings keep up, it would be awesome to watch a full season, or more, of character evolution. We could watch Buck dating both men and women openly, learning his value, and discovering what he wants for his future.

Buck, as Bobby pointed out, doesn't enter into relationships of his own accord. He stumbles and falls into them without a clue how he got there. One day, he wakes up and he's someone's boyfriend or living with someone and isn't sure how it happened. Buck simply goes wherever someone will accept him. He misconstrues that acceptance and tolerance as genuine romance, feelings, and love.

Abby was bored and lonely and horny. I could say a lot about that relationship. If the motivation strikes, I may post about how that relationship was toxic and manipulative on Abby's part. If there are any Abby fans, you need to know your girl was showing some tendencies that were red flags.

Ali? Buck was single. She showed interest. That's it.

Taylor? Great sex and she kept coming back to Buck. She was there for all the wrong reasons and had questionable morals, but she was there. That was enough for Buck.

Natalia, again, was simply in front of Buck. She was obviously only interested in Buck's death, not Buck as a person, but Buck didn't care. He tried to make it work anyway because Natalia gave him time and attention.

So, we have an established pattern of Buck dating whoever will give him the time of day when he needs it most.

Enter Tommy. Buck is feeling left out. He's probably slipping into loneliness and spiraling because he feels the most important person in his life for the last six years is being taken away from him. (That's Eddie, for those in the back.)

Tommy shows up, sees Buck is spiraling, and kisses him. (Tommy fans, canon has established that Tommy has bad guy capabilities. Stop trying to gaslight the fans who are saying he may not be the good guy his sudden fandom claims he is. He isn't and Hen and Chimney forgiving him doesn't change that. People who are capable of consciously being a-holes are just a-holes. Mmkay?) He doesn't just hit on Buck. He physically initiates contact, giving Buck no doubt the man is open to other men. He showed Buck attention in a moment of crisis and he's a safe option after Buck openly admitted he was jealous and trying to get attention.

Buck stumbles into the next relationship. (Again, I could examine that situation, but if I do, it will be in a separate post.)

The show could give us Eddie admitting he let the expectations and influences of third parties control his destiny and he has no idea who Edmundo Diaz really is outside of what was expected of him, what he was taught, and what he did out of a sense of duty instead of doing what he wanted to.

He was with Shannon because she was pregnant and the right thing to do, per their parents and his faith, was marry her. I think he loves her for giving him his son, but nothing he has ever said or done indicates he was in love with her. I think he thinks he was. I think he wanted to be.

He was with Ana because Christopher needed a mother, per what he was told and taught, and she had an impressive resume and knew Christopher.

He is with Marisol because she fits the perfect mold of what his parents would like and she gets along with Christopher.

Should we talk about Eddie's relationships timing up perfectly with when Buck enters a relationship? No?

That man has never once in six seasons made a believable statement about genuine attraction to or sexual enjoyment with women. Ladies and gentlemen, if you have straight male friends who are in their 20s or 30s, you know you will be subjected to more details about their sexual history than you ever wanted to know. (Many of my close friends historically have been straight men. Conversations with them have been interesting and eye-opening. Sometimes traumatic, too, but I knew what I signed up for when I became their friend.)

Eddie canonically is in his early 30s and has been on the screen since his late 20s, but went without sex for years, never seemed to miss it, and now he's suddenly "pent up"? That is not the whole story and there is more going on there.

I'd love to see Eddie figure out he isn't into Marisol and hasn't been into anyone genuinely, except maybe Shannon. There could easily be a demisexuality arc for Eddie. Keep in mind, the term demisexuality was coined less than 20 years ago and is still not widely known. Eddie could spend a season, or more, working through the feelings he's ignored or been unable to put into words, dealing with overbearing parents, and how his faith has quietly, and unbeknownst to him, guided his choices. He could spend a long time wondering why he never feels an instant connection with anyone, except Buck and Tommy. (You seeing a pattern here?) This season has openly pointed out Eddie is in therapy.

The road to Buddie can be filled with satisfying detours, aka other relationships, leading to the realizations that open their eyes to each other. We don't have to negate the Buck and Eddie's experiences with others to support Buddie.

The part of me that wants instant gratification would love to see Eddie and Buck dancing at Madney's wedding and figuring out they are what they have been looking for all along. Cut to them in a room going at it.

But, the part of me that loves a great story, and doesn't mind waiting if the writing is great, is fine with a slow burn that gives us deep storylines and episodes that grip you from beginning to end. Let's say we have the rest of season 7, season 8, and maybe a season 9. There would be so much possible material.

Buck could go through a relationship with Tommy, a breakup, confusion, dating again, multiple amazing conversations with LGBTQ characters like Hen, Karen. This would also allow for giving other characters more depth, backstory, and more time on-screen. (This would be an amazing time to bring back Rockmond Dunbar as Michael and have him and Buck discuss figuring your sexuality out later in life!)

Eddie could spend that time working through his Catholic guilt and separating his actual needs and desires from what he was taught to need and desire. He could realize he makes excuses to stay with the women he dates then finds an excuse to escape when being with those women gives him anxiety. He could begin questioning if he is gay, bi, pan, or what. Then he could ask himself why he never really gets to know the women he dates. Who has he been close to? What was different? What gives him a feeling of safety and security and home? He needs to figure himself out.

So, yes, I do believe Buck/Tommy is acceptable and I support it, just not as endgame. I think, if written well, it could be integral to a great growth plot that takes us through Eddie and Buck diverging on their paths to self-discovery only to converge later on, a little more scarred but more in tune with themselves, to see their future in each other.

#911 abc #911 on abc #9 1 1 buddie #buddie #buck x eddie #eddie x buck #buddie 911 #eddie diaz x evan buckley #evan buckley x eddie diaz #buck/tommy #911 tuck #eddie diaz #evan buckley #evan buck buckley #911 #911 show #911 season 7 #LouEng's take

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littlezarp · 1 year

Text

Recommendations

Call of duty, MW2

@gh0st5bby4life fics are *chef's kiss*

Jitters : 141 x OC (Jitters is a PMC brought onto the support 141 operations, much to the distaste of the 141 group of PMC's)

@halcyone-of-the-sea's every work

Ghost :

Can't trust me ?

@uselsshuman 's Masterlist

he tells me to shut up, i got this

The choices we make

Angsty shit with Simon

The truth is out

Living with ghosts

Sugar Daddy

@nsharks 's one shots + Bleeding blue series

I'm with you

Keep you close

Butterfly effects

Wolf and the lamb - (Lion and the Lamb prequel)

One night stand leads to pregnancy

@charnelhouse's Ghost Masterlist

He knows

Mistaken friendship

No more

Protector

Mausoleum

All Alone

The things I never said

Dad!Simon by @lundenloves

Paperwork

Between dreams and sugar

Alpha!Ghost x reader

Protected

The witch and witch hunter

Mary on a cross

Werewolf!Simon x reader

I can't marry you

Menage

Sassy series

Situationship with firefighter!ghost

The little things

The roommate series

Cowards always run

Open his eyes

Accidentally hurting you

Others

One, two, three - Ghost x reader x soap

It's time to have fun - Ghost x reader x soap

Don't touch my boys - Ghost x reader x soap

Afterburn - 141 x F!reader

That sex pollen fic - everyone x reader

Dead Disco - Ghost x Soap x F!reader

COD monster men

The Pack

Poly relationship with Simon and Johnny

Safeword with the cod boys

Knights in shining tactical gear - Ghost x reader x soap

John Price :

All I need

Deep Breaths

Four

Lion and the Lamb

Viper and the Lamb

Argument and makeup

The Killing Moon

Professor Price

Rest

Bad dreams

Trust me

Apollo, do you copy

Imagine

What's so great about war ?

Songs that sound like sea foam - Fisherman!John Price x Mermaid!reader

Not in your life

Guilt

Bloodstained honesty

John Price x F!OC Tank

Salt and pepper

The Last of Us

@guess-my-next-obsession's Joel Masterlist

@charnelhouse's Joel Masterlist

Confused Warmth

You came back for me

Reject me, I get it

Who are you if not alone

Cold as ice (part 2 : Cold as ice II)

Savior complex

Too late

Summer Lovin

Say it with your hands

Hot single dilfs in your area want to chat!

You're losing me

Chasing

The Hayloft

Still here

The whole @pedgeitopascals Joel Miller masterlist

Call my name

Love in the middle of a firefight

Lucky for me, I run on spite and sweet revenge

Once again in your arms

Angst with Joel Miller

Narcos

Boss - Javier Pena x DEA!OC

The Rookie

The dangers of misunderstanding

To sell your love for peace

Just dumb enough to try

@absurdthirst's Javier Pena Masterlist

Are you staying ?

Just Friends

The last goodbye

Love me not

Haikyuu

All I wanna do is save you - Dilf!Matsukawa x College F!Reader

#simon riley x reader #joel miller x reader #captain price x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #141 x reader #cod fic #javier pena x reader

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zepskies · 1 month

Note

Hi Zep! I'm back for more random fanfic & writing questions! First, do you prefer writing canon type stories or AU's? Or do you let the idea influence which category it falls under more? Second, do you only write fanfic or do you do your own personal writing too? I fully believe you could (and should) write a novel someday if you desired! You're so talented and I'd love to see what you could come up with. Lastly because I want to, FMK for Dean, Beau and Ben? 👀 Hope you're having a good weekend!

Hello, my friend! (Can I call you Michelle? I see that in your bio. 💜) I'm having a great weekend, thank you! I hope you are as well.

Oooh, these are great questions!!

Canon vs. AU Stories

So when it comes to fanfic, I have more experience with canon stories, but I enjoy reading and writing both canon and AU depending on the premise. For example, reading a firefighter!Dean story (and my love of Chicago Fire and other procedurals) led me to write Smoke Eater, my first full SPN AU story.

Writing an AU is more challenging in my opinion, because you're doing more extensive worldbuilding and character building than stories in a canon storyverse. Smoke Eater was much more challenging for me to write than Never Say Goodbye, for example, which is a soulmate AU within the canon SPN world.

A Book Maybe?

Second, do you only write fanfic or do you do your own personal writing too? I fully believe you could (and should) write a novel someday if you desired! You're so talented and I'd love to see what you could come up with.

Aw thank you very much, love!! I so appreciate you for saying that. 🥰🥰

Yes, I've actually been working on a novel for the past couple of years. I've taken a break from it since I've been writing so much fanfic lmao. But it's actually a a fantasy/romance. (Think Bridgerton and Howl's Moving Castle meets GoT, with less violence, lots of drama, and a bit more magic lol.) I had a major breakthrough in my draft and outline a few weeks ago, so my goal is to finish it this year! 💕💕

FMK With Dean, Beau, and Ben

Oh shiiiiit. Girl, you tryna kill me??? 😭😭😭

Okay. Because I could never "Kill" any of these men, I'll sub that for "Kiss."

First, I'm gonna have to fuck Ben. Because...yeah. 🥵

(And sorry but aside from BMD-verse Ben, I think I'd tear my hair out with this guy as my partner, if he didn't break my back first. 🤣)

Next, I think I have to...and shit this is hard, but I'm gonna have to kiss Beau.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love this cowboy sheriff with all my heart and soul, and he would undoubtedly treat me right (once we got him into therapy for some of his trauma).

But...

Dean has held my heart the longest out of these three. He's flawed and has trauma beyond belief, but I'd love to give him the loving, comforting, supportive relationship he always deserved on the show. (And then fix that fucked up ending for sure.)

And for that reason, I'd have to marry Dean.

@luci-in-trenchcoats I would also love to hear your thoughts on writing canon vs. AU, since you've written so much of both. What's your favorite, and which do you find more challenging?

Also, since you tied me into knots with this question, right back at ya!! FMK with Dean, Beau, and Benjamin. 😘

#ask me stuff #thank you for these questions! 💞#canon vs. au #original writing vs. fanfic #FMK #dean winchester #beau arlen #soldier boy #supernatural #spn #big sky #the boys #zepskies answers

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i-identify-tanks-in-posts · 2 months

Note

You asked for me to ask, so...

R a t t e

IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED.

Let's talk about the Ratte, can we talk about the Ratte, Frogman? I've been dying to talk about the Ratte with you all day.

The Ratte is, in my opinion, the worst, most absolute dogshit vehicle ever designed, bar none.

First, let it be noted that this tank design came about in 1942, when Germany was already Not Doing Great in their ambitions for a great mechanized army, running lower and lower on steel, fuel, munitions, so what does 'Ol Edward Grote decide to propose?

Let's build a tank that's literally 1000 tons, has 6 sets of tracks, 61 guns, needs somewhere between 20 and 40 men to run it, and runs on 8 SUBMARINE ENGINES.

This was quite possibly the dumbest thing the Nazis ever did, right up there with listening to the ravings of a meth-addled, half-insane failed artist with one testicle.

THE TRACKS, oh yes, the tracks, all 6 of them, arranged in such a way that if even one link on one track broke, you'd be spending a minimum of a day in downtime, meanwhile a Sherman crew can do the same thing in 10-20 minutes in the middle of a firefight.

The Ratte was more than 100 feet long, nearly 50 feet wide, and nearly 40 feet tall, making it a bomber crewman or Artillery runner's wet dream, with 2 280mm guns and several smaller ones all over the damn thing. Which means that, combined with the mounted machine guns, and weapons for the crew, the Ratte would have to carry AT MINIMUM 8 different types of ammunition, adding even more to the logistical nightmare that is this (debatably) rolling fortress.

There was literally no way to get this thing from one place to another. Roads? Forget it, it's 1000 tons, it would destroy them immediately. Bridges? Ha, you wish, what bridge is meant to support the weight of 153 full grown African elephants rolling along. This thing was entirely dependent on its own drive train, and what, prey tell, was known to be a particular issue on large German vehicles? That's right, the drivetrain. This tank was an idiotic idea from the very beginning, and it's no wonder that even a dumbass goose-stepping fuckwit like Albert Speer could see that this was a brain-dead idea that never should have gotten out of a 3rd graders class notebook. Fuck, I hate this tank, and I'm so glad I don't have to breathe the air of a world where it ever existed.

#tanks #ww2 tanks #german tanks #military

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libraryofantiquitea · 21 days

Text

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧.

pairing: dick winters x lewis nixon

summary: upon returning to america, lewis watches the subtle changes in dick. He doesn't like them.

warnings: descriptions of sex, discussions of war, repressed feelings, alcoholism.

word count: 1.7k

author's notes: another fic that i wrote ever a decade ago and have posted over on ao3. apparently i struggled giving these two something resembling a happy ending.

likes / comments / reblogs are very much appreciated! thank you for reading! ♥

For as long as he had known him, Dick had possessed a sort of grace that did not seem possible for anyone within the realm of reality. Lewis had originally noticed it while training at Toccoa, and was amazed that it continued on, even throughout the war and in combat; perhaps even more so amidst the firefights, the hails of bullets, the mortar shells, and the bloodshed. Having taken to stumbling drunkenly through Europe, as he did in life in so many more aspects than simply the act of putting one foot in front of the other, Lewis found himself amazed in the constant and the consistency of the grace that held its sway over Richard Winters.

It held on in dire moments of deafening noise where just one step to the right could perhaps end it all, and in the oddly quiet moments where war seemed that it just might be the furthest from his mind. Nixon recalled with stunning clarity instances when there was nothing beautiful, nothing poetic about the circumstances they had been thrust into. And yet, with a quiet elegance, there he was – unwavering and unrelenting. There were moments where he had been filthy, covered in dirt and the blood of men who he had known or not known at all. His eyes had been weary, yet bright, and what passed for a smile upon his lips was capable of lighting up the entirety of any room. A lot of the men looked up to him, admired him. Lewis was foolishly in love.

His fingers, nimble as his mannerisms, had gently coaxed Nixon out of his clothing one night in Austria, merely because he had gotten so blindingly drunk that he wasn’t capable of operating buttons. Lewis declared that he was fine and attempted to push Winters away, who told him in as serious a tone that he could manage that Lewis was pushing a coat rack and not him. Lewis allowed himself to be undressed, although he would have gladly burned his ODs then and not given a fuck for the rest of time. Dick stopped upon reaching Nixon’s undershirt and shorts, and Nixon told him not to. With grace and not a moment’s hesitation, Dick complied, and Lewis drunkenly pulled at Dick’s clothing until it wasn’t there anymore, attempting to kiss him properly but instead missing his lips by a few centimetres and kissing the corner of his mouth.

Skin on skin, warm and damp, indulging in the utterly delicious feeling that only came with his friend’s hips pressed nakedly against his own, Lewis gasped curses against Dick’s lips, while Dick whispered about sins and forgiveness. Nixon’s fingertips must have burned wherever they grazed Dick’s flesh, for the other man moaned as if he’d been injured every time he felt them. Dick seemed particularly fond of kissing, not at all minding the taste of alcohol and cigarettes that came with the territory when pressing one’s lips to Lewis’. Neither of them truly listened to the other, until they both lie on the uncomfortable twin bed, exhausted and completely spent. Dick said, “That can’t happen again.” Lewis replied with, “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Lewis didn’t drink as much the following day.

Until the day that Nixon was sent home, he and Dick shared moments as they could get them, although it was never anything more than a fleeting glance or a momentary intertwining of fingers when no one was looking. Lewis returned to the States to inherit a broken home, divorce papers, and child support. When Dick’s services were finally no longer required in Europe, he returned to the States to inherit Lewis Nixon.

—

Nixon kept bottles around the house in various states – some were empty, had a shot or two left, while some were half full and half empty, or hadn’t even been opened yet. Dick tried to dispose of the empty ones as often as he could, but Lewis seemed to drink faster than he could keep up. He drank to keep the memories at bay, and leave them far away from his mind, back in places like Normandy, Eindhoven, and Landsberg where he had acquired them.

Despite earlier affirmations that what happened in Austria was not meant to happen again, and a bedroom which had become his own, Dick eventually found his way into Nixon’s bed after a month of lodging with him. The first few times it came in the middle of the night, like a child having awoken from a nightmare. Dick slipped under the covers of Lewis’ bed, didn’t ask if he could, simply did. Lewis would wrap an arm around him, pull him close, and Dick would finally fall asleep while listening to the persistent beating of Lewis’ heart. Then he stopped going to his own room, following Lewis up to bed instead when they eventually called it a night. On the fifth night of abandoning his bed for Lewis’, Dick let Lewis touch him, and he made him gasp and whimper as he had in Austria so many months previous.

With the exception of for grabbing a change of clothes, or keeping up appearances when the occasional guest (usually Lewis’ sister, Blanche) came over, Dick didn’t return to his bedroom.

—

It was in the way that he moved.

Grace found itself slowly removed from Dick’s existence, and Lewis struggled with the implications of that. He wondered if the fatigue of war, the weight that Dick had held upon his shoulders for so many years were finally picking at the already frayed edges. It was in the subtle way that he moved, in such a simple thing as walking. It was nowhere near the lumbering Lewis considered an appropriate way to get from Point A to Point B, but it was very much not the sort of way he’d become accustomed to Dick moving. His impenetrable grace was as much a part of him as his fiery red hair, which still remained as the grace slowly left.

All parts of Dick should remain intact, Lewis thought.

—

Dick lay in bed, Lewis beside him, fingertips gently tracing over scars that Dick never remembered how he obtained. His fingertips must not have burned, for Dick only sighed softly when Nixon’s touch grazed over raised, angry looking white and red marks embedded in his flesh. It had come with the territory, and Winters wasn’t certain if they’d ever go away, or if he would wear them as reminders until the day that he died. They hadn’t hurt, he would’ve remembered them if they had hurt.

Lips replaced fingers, and they must have burned, as Dick gasped and writhed beneath him, hands tangling in Nixon’s mop of dark hair that had grown past regulation length. Wet kisses moved down the length of Dick’s torso, stopping to take inventory of those scars of varying sizes. After what felt like an eternity of waiting, Lewis’ lips reached their intended goal and he took his friend’s hardened cock into his mouth.

Dick had moaned, his body shifting constantly beneath Nixon, unable to keep still for more than second. He would push Lewis away, only to pull him back again, begging him to not stop, murmuring that he’d never felt anything so amazing.

After he was spent, Winters lay unmoving on his side, looking at Lewis who felt even more naked under the scrutiny of his friend’s green eyes. Determined to not look away, Lewis starred right back at him, challenging his friend’s gaze, willing him to say whatever it was that he was thinking. Finally sighing, Dick rolled over onto his back and shifted his eyes to look toward the ceiling.

“That can’t happen again.”

“Sure.”

It didn’t.

—

Lewis sat in his study, pretending to read as he drank because Dick said that it was awful that all of those books were never opened by him. He didn’t even bother with glasses anymore, he finished the bottles too quickly to justify it, and what was the sense in creating dirty dishes. It was far too late for him to still be awake, but Dick wasn’t in bed either, he could hear him moving around upstairs.

Leaving the bottle and the book, Nixon carefully made his way up the steps, following the light to Dick’s bedroom, to find him sitting on the edge of his bed. Standing in the doorway for a moment, Lewis watched him just sit there, wringing his hands together and alternating between starring at them and starring straight ahead. Finally having enough of the silence, Lewis moved into the room and carefully sat beside him on the bed. Dick didn’t acknowledge his presence.

“What is it?” Lewis finally asked.

“I don’t know,” Winters replied.

Lewis joined him in starring at his hands, pursing his lips together. Dick had held onto his allure through training, through their years spent in tents and in Europe, and Lewis recalled the instant when he began to see it leave.

It wasn’t being home in America that was destroying Dick Winters’ elegance – it was him. Lewis felt as though he had a hand in the killing of his best friend, and was completely at a loss for how to deal with the emotions that he found caught in his throat as he tried to speak. “Maybe you should sleep in here tonight.”

“Maybe.”

He did.

Lewis felt colder than he had ever felt in Bastogne.

—

In the morning, Lewis was alone in the house. He smoked a pack of cigarettes before noon, and drank a bottle of whiskey before two o’clock. For the entirety of the day, he sat in a chair and waited, save for when he was finally able to bring himself to look in Dick’s bedroom. He hadn’t brought many possessions with him, but the dresser drawers and closet were empty.

Lewis was alone in the house the following day as well, and the day after that, and the sickening pattern continued for months before he finally realized that Dick wasn’t coming home.

—

Eventually there was a letter, but Lewis didn’t read it, but he couldn’t bring himself to throw it out either. He kept it on the dresser in what had been Dick’s bedroom, because he couldn’t stand to even look at the envelope and Dick’s neat handwriting.

There was no one around to pick up the empty bottles anymore.

[/end.]

#band of brothers #band of brothers fic #band of brothers fanfiction #dick winters #lewis nixon #dick winters x lewis nixon #winters x nixon #winnix #dick winters fic #lewis nixon fic #writing #fic #antiquitea.fic

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aspiringwriter1111 · 5 months

Text

Hallmark PSA

I know since it's coming on the holiday season, I'm going to start seeing a lot of Hallmark slander.

But here's a little known fact.

Hallmark is actually really really good.

WAIT WAIT DON'T LEAVE-

Let me explain!

The movies people usually associate Hallmark with are the "old" ones (2020 and back). I bet after seeing how cliche and unhealthy they were, you didn't see a reason to watch them again after that, am I right??

But you knew them well enough to know they weren't worth your time and sanity.

Girl in a high stress job goes to small town, learns the meaning of Christmas, and then cheats on her also stressed out boyfriend back in the city with a hot cocoa making stubbly kind of rude lumberjack man then quits her job and moves to Vermont or something.

Yeah, they don't do those anymore.

At all.

I'm serious.

A part of it is that there was a purge. A year or two ago, there was a new Christmas movie company in town. All the actors that didn't like the forward direction Hallmark wanted to go in, left and joined GAC.

(Great American Family, or as I like to call it GACK. The movies are exclusively awful old Hallmark style, but Republican, badly decorated, very white, and also much worse.)

GAC took all the problems away from Hallmark, and made movies out of them. Hallmark, now cleansed, is pumping out cinematic greats that I WILL be rewatching every Christmas.

The whole of Hallmark was Recast, save for the best of the best fan favorites (Like Lacey Chaubert-)

They have plus sized actors now and people of color, cast as main characters on a regular basis.

Half of the movies aren't even romance centric anymore, instead focused on life, and moving forward, but when they are, they're really well done, and actually healthy.

If you know me (which you don't), then you'll know I hate unhealthy relationships. Especially when they're treated like they're okay. I will pick apart ANYTHING over toxicity in a relationship, wherever that might come from.

I used to hate Hallmark movies, because they were predictable, unrealistic, flawed, and toxic.

But now the characters talk with each other, and they don't get in the others space without permission. If there's an accident and it does happen, it's not used as a plot device to move the relationship along. It's not treated in a "OMG hot guy is literally right in my face!!! I've only known him two minutes and I hate him, I'm in love!!"

It's more of an, "OMG I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that at all, im so sorry, I'm so sorry- *Immediately backs away*"

I can't even begin to explain how much better they are now.

To further prove my point, here are some gifs of Three Wise Men and a Baby, one of my favorite Christmas movies ever:

Just listen to this one.

It's about three brothers, one of which is a firefighter (this is important). A baby gets dropped off at the fire station, with a note. The firefighters name is on it, asking him to look after the baby until Christmas.

This is not his baby.

This IS a joke throughout the entire film.

They have no idea who dropped him off.

So they end up taking care of him for a week, and seriously bonding with him. The make his first Christmas ornament with clay, they do a holiday photo dressed to the nines.

They talk about how hard it is to actually take care of a baby, and how hard it must have been for their mom doing it alone.

Talking about how their own dad left, and finally processing that trauma together.

Their mom confesses that if she didn't have support, she may have done what the babies mother did. How she must be going through such a rough patch, and building empathy for her.

All three of the brothers go on complete cathartic emotional journeys about it, and all the other issues in their life.

I can't do it justice.

It's called Three Wise Men and A Baby. I'm begging you please go watch it, you will NOT regret it.

I CRIED SO MANY TIMES YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

I'm tearing up now just thinking about it oh my gOD-

The ending just sent it home for me, so I won't spoil anything.

Its amazing. I can't explain the whole thing, I seriously beg you please go watch it.

And, if you're more into comedy, I present to you Haul out The Holly:

A Christmas comedy starring your very own Gretchen Weiners!! Abso-fucking-lutley HILARIOUS.

It's about a woman, just broken up with her boyfriend, and coaxed into going home for the holidays. Here's where it gets interesting.

Her parents are the head of the Christmas neighborhood watch, something that has plagued her since childhood. Her childhood friend has now taken over the position, as her parent ditch her for retirement on a beach someplace, and she's left stuck, having to decorate against her will.

She wants a nap. The neighbors want her to carve ice sculptures. And her nutcracker apparently isn't up to code.

Includes: Girlboss and male wife power duo (madly in love), insane chainsaw man with way too much time on his hands, the ML an anxious wreck, and many, many, MANY MORE.

Another recent movie was built around a woman who is an astronaut (She's mixed) who was about to finally go to space (The goal shes been working on her entire life) She got into a car accident and her eyesight was impaired. She's currently grieving the loss of her dream (like, actually grieving, she took three months off-).

Her company asks her if she wants to do an exhibit in the planetarium for Christmas, that she doesn't have to, but she can if she wants to take her minds off of things. She says yes, and ends up working with the planetarium director on an exhibit about the sun and it's connection to Christmas through how people used to celebrate with the sun (I don't remember exactly, but it was explained thoroughly, and i think pagan???)

She and him don't constantly argue, or be angry at each other. They cooperate. They show genuine interest in each other. It's actually adorable, and it's also not just about them.

She meets his daughter, who is a wheelchair user. She asks why the Female lead isn't in space if she's an astronaut, and the FL tell her it's because of her eyes. The daughter tells her it's okay, because she'll never be able to go to space either, even if she wants to, but she can still enjoy it from Earth.

I'm not even doing it justice.

By the end of the movie, the FLs eye problem doesn't heal. Nothing is miraculously solved. But the ML and the FL are now dating (After the best, slow paced, healthy, communicative, collaborative bonding freaking ever-) ALL OF THE CHARACTERS HAVE FULL BLOWN EMOTIONAL JOURNEYS THAT ACTUALLY MATTER.

SHE GRIEVES.

HER BROTHER FINALLY FIGURES OUT ITS OKAY FOR HIM TO DO WHAT HE LOVES, AND THAT HE'S NOT A FAILURE FOR IT.

THE ML LET'S GO OF THINKING HES A BAD PARENT.

AND MORE.

There are soft bits, nothing is cliche, nothing is icky or gross.

It's healthy, it's cute, it's emotionally driven, I'm actually learning about things I didn't know before, and amazing.

And all the new ones are either like this or better than this. I could name over ten, but I can't even explain how good they are.

Some of the are still a little dark ages, but it's only every one out of six or seven.

Hallmark movies from 2022 and onwards are 5 star television, and you can't convince me otherwise.

#hallmark movies #hallmark channel #christmas movies #hallmark #christmas movie #Hallmark slander #PLEASE WATCH THREE WISE MEN AND A BABY I BEG OF YOU-#psa #this has been a psa #good movies #gay rights #people of color #body posititivity #change for the better

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