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cannibalismyuri · 10 months

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coming out as a passive jopper hater bc the insane level of capitalist pandering they did with s3 (with ERICA who is like. one of the worst, stereotyped portrayals of a black girl ive ever seen, bless her heart) was truly crazy. combine that with the copaganda and the general attitude of hopper in s3 which was played off as 'awkward loser guy doesnt know what to do with Feelings more at 8' was a bit .... Eh :/ to me. because it is so obviously a fictional character and show but like. disliking hopper/jopper bc of the ideals st is perpetuating and the fact that they arent compatible at All in s3 (to me, atleast) is valid. some ppl might just think that jopper is unhealthy and/or 'overrated'. because they do sort of pay a disproportionate amount of attention to jopper, compared to the other canon romantic ships (afaik, bc of the screen time counter) and that can be Weird, esp with the... how should i say this? balancer/savior role hopper takes in the relationship (we constantly see him placating joyce, sometimes even being slightly patronizing, and also they place a lot of importance on him saving joyce from a lot of stuff, which is cool and sick if it wasnt for the fact that it directly correlates with him being a cop, yk). and the general power imbalance bc he's a Cop and abuses his position of power constantly, and that is exactly Why anything that joyce does is seen as a #insane girlboss category 5 woman moment because she simply has the short stick in the power race and when she does manage to make an impact DESPITE her economic/social/'general uselessness in say in Major decision-making when it comes to authorities' shortcomings it is seen as an amazing win. hopper on his own is extremely fleshed out as well, because we get to see his arc play out with his relationships with his daughter and ex-wife and el and re-learning how to be a parent and how to not let love allude him, and that is lovely! it's so great to see the adults in the show being focused on! but joyce is absolutely disregarded and underdeveloped as a character of her own right outside of her relationships with hopper or her kids. we see that she is determined and a force to be reckoned with and that she cares very deeply for the people she loves and would go to insane lengths for them but all that doesn't Mean anything, because we never see a backstory for her. we never figure out who she is without her family or hopper, or what her motives and aspirations and emotional shortcomings and stumbles and mistakes are. for a character to be fully fleshed out, they need to be an interesting, refreshing and palatable character On Their Own without their relationships with other characters, and we just don't see that with joyce. like u have Thee winona ryder on ur show, and u forsake developing her character in favor of developing hopper's character with /not the best taste/ and causing her to be a blank slate of a mother, lover, woman and friend, but not a PERSON. all she's been reduced to is a Mother and Hopper's Girlfriend, and honestly, that's the worst decision they could've made in relation to her and her relationship with hopper.

anyway, all this to say; these are my thoughts on the matter, but i'm definitely not hating on people who enjoy jopper passively and DEFINITELY not any by/ler (the most predominant fandom im part of in the parent fandom of st) who enjoys them as a ship with their own dynamic separate from canon. because the by/ler fandom is NOT a monolith and nobody is obligated to agree with me or change their opinion if it doesn't align with mine or be forced to look at my opinion and feel bad for shipping anything. im not going to act Holier Than Thou for expressing my opinion and u should definitely continue shipping jopper if it makes u happy! as long everybody recognizes the copaganda and capitalist mindset grind propaganda shit in st (which is Pretty Obvious) and respects that while shipping what they want, i have no problem with it. all that is to say; peace and fucking love. can we (the by/ler fandom) stop fighting abt jopper we all have our own opinions this is bc we are Not a hivemind or a monolith and not obligated to have the same opinions relating to all aspects of st just because we happen to ship one thing. i am a hater and a lover

#anti jopper #<- i dont want the shippers to see a Big Ass Crit Post of their ship its not fair to them they ain't disturbing us. so stfu and let me be.#everyone who's ever talked to me outside of tumblr knows i have a strict no discourse no outright hating policy on this blog bc i wanna #remain a positive space in the st fandom. and this is the one and only time i'll be posting abt smth i dont like.#i am a MASSIVE hater abt st and other things as well. i am SUCH a petty bitch. but i want this blog to stay a sunshine rainbows place!#bc discourse is generally upsetting for everyone involved and the One Time i actually went hatergirl on here i got several death threats.#so respect that i will Not be speaking on this or anything else more ty bc ive had anons try to ask me for my Big Bad Opinions before and #like. no. no honey im not going to be controversial on main can we all just like our silly ship rb silly fanworks make silly fanworks .#anyway i do feel pretty passionate abt this so im making this a post but like. NOTHING ELSE. dont send me asks trying to ask for my opinion #unless i specifically ask for them. ok thx :) if u've read till here ur a real one and ily !#stranger things (sara's version)

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akascow · 1 year

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no fuckin way HAHA

#tumblr stays petty i like it #important blue internet checkmark

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creampuffqueen · 18 days

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GIRL I HATED IN HIGH SCHOOL DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE ‼️‼️‼️‼️

#mal's shitposts #is this petty? definitely #but if i can’t be a petty bitch on my tumblr account then what’s the point #disclaimer: college is very difficult and whether you stay in or not is not an indicator of your intelligence or anything #but it’s nice to feel superior over that pathological liar 💗

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the-heaminator · 1 year

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#I'm sorry I'm just going to gush about how good my friends are to me like. I dont deserve this I'm a fucking walking disaster yet they stay #By me even when I get violent and scared for petty much no reason #I can talk to my friends about far more than I can talk to my parents and they can make me laugh as I'm describing some rather disheartenin #Things that I've gone through. And I haven't really been through all that much comparatively. But I've still Gone Through It quite a few #Times and they fucking help me unpack things and deal with things they dont mind when I get scared and violent or anxious and overly clingy #And half the time they're better at understanding why I'm the way that I am at that moment then I am #they manage to understand my broken explanations and gestures. They dont mind when I ask for hugs and prolong them just because I can #I am many things. Deserving isnt one of them. Yet they stay and help me. I'm a burden sometimes. Really oftentimes. Yet they stay #I'm sorry I'm just feeling emotional as all fuck I'm sorry🥺#I would be so worse off without them. They'd probably be better off without me. Yet they say their lives wouldn't be the same without me #And just aaaaaa I love them so much #The heam speaks #Using tumblr as a diary I see

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overworked-bookworm · 11 months

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let me drop some drama on y’all — in the last year + 7 days, I:

reconnected with multiple friends from high school at a wedding I legally officiated for two old friends

realized in hindsight that I had liked one of our classmates when we were in school, who had attended the wedding and was now recently divorced

started talking to him very often and, by proxy, the husband I officiated the wedding for

started an on-off flirtation with the divorced friend — [clarification: HE started it, but I was very receptive when I realized what he was doing, it just took me a while]

became the “dump my mental health problems” friend for the husband^ who I’ve said is like a baby brother to me for *checks calendar* 12+ years

was accused by my friend’s wife AND the friend that I was flirting with that I was having an affair with the husband or at least harboring romantic feelings for him

she also accused me of behaving like her abusive mother, when I told her she was out of line for even thinking I would have an affair with (1) her husband (2) who I kept saying was like a baby brother to me

held an intervention for the husband about his ragingly out of control anxiety, where he proceeded to, like, beat the windows of the car and yell and be violent [not at me but around me and I was very triggered and scared] — after which he said he couldn’t trust me anymore because I was projecting my anxiety onto him, and he was fine

fell into an episode of psychosis because I was surrounded by people who didn’t trust me for reasons they’d all made up in their heads, and were all mad at me for ❤️

[while in psychosis] dealt with the guy I was flirting with talking about wanting to sleep with his coworker, and being very on/off + hot/cold with me — which I wrote off as post-divorce emotional problems I just needed to be patient through lmao

[while in psychosis] dealt with the husband’s mental breakdown about never wanting to get married in the first place, dragging my family and the family of the guy I was flirting with into the mess — we got the husband pink slipped and I stopped talking to him and his wife

was told by the friend that had been flirting with me that he’d been leading me on, as he proceeded to ditch me for another friend that I helped him reconnect with — but promised me that we were besties and nothing would change!! (how kind. also? he broke that promise immediately and called me difficult)

dealt with his new girlfriend lying to me about them not being together, because no!! hoes before bros, Alex, I would never date someone who hurt my friend!! but also you need to be personally accountable for feeling hurt!!

there’s more in the way they’ve both treated me since he decided he was done with me, but my therapist and I are still parsing through it

turns out I probably don’t need to be taking Ativan twice a day and sleeping after work + all night bc of the high dosage, I just needed to start cutting out bad friends! my anxiety has never been more managed now that I’ve decided to listen to every other friend that’s told me these ones were all no good for me! I do need the anti-psychotics, though. I heard voices for 2 months and it was NOT a good time.

I didn’t have this much drama in my life ten years ago when we were actual children — the next time I start posting about liking a man, someone remind me that it brings me absolute misery. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t wanted to hop on his dick 🙄🙄🙄

#personal #tumblr is my petty platform and also my journal #but I’m serious about someone needing to remind me that men in a romantic context brings me nothing but trouble #the first time I’d been psychotic was a man’s fault too — I will NOT be happy if I have another episode #you might be wondering what the husband was doing about the affair accusations. the answer? needling me about my relationship to the other #we sat in the ER and I went from him saying sooooooooo you and [name]?#to then being kicked out of the room and the aide being like wow I bet you’re really glad this guy’s marriage is falling apart #also he was having an emotional affair with someone younger in his classes <3 so his wife SHOULDVE been worried #but not because of me who was CLEARLY trying to hop on this stupid emotionally unavailable dick and NOT her husbands #but now he has a girlfriend and doesn’t respond to my messages so what a giant waste of time lmao I didn’t even get to keep a friend in thi #there’s a lot of relief that we never slept together though. I don’t… think he wanted to but I sure did #if we had it would have hurt so much more when he dropped me #silver linings I guess #anyway the actual takeaway here is if you didn’t sustain interaction with them after graduation DONT reconnect #those doors closed for a reason #let them stay shut

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moonlightfilly · 5 months

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I think I need to stop waiting to have a close relationship with my siblings. All it ends up doing is make me sad every time I get home from a get-together. I think about the ones that didn't talk to me, the ones that only relate to me through their kids, the ones that only know things from 15+ years ago, I just need to let it all go.

#i have 5 siblings why is it my eldest sis and her bf were the only ones to have a proper convo with me the entire day #also i was talking about how i had to clean the blood off my mom after she had a nasty fall recently and i learned something too-#apparently they all think i faint at the sight of blood bc of something that happened 18??? years ago??? they all started laughing #even tho the fainting then was bc i'm iron deficient and didn't know it then - i couldn't stay conscious from all the blood i lost #it seems like such a petty thing to get snagged on but these misconceptions just remind me that they don't bother to know anything about me #it just swirls around and around in my head and i need to stop they're not thinking about it i need to stop too #tumblring by moonlight #personal #it's selfish i wish my little brother didn't break up with his gf we're friends i could've talked to her at least... i hope she's doing ok #5 siblings but sometimes i feel like an only child

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lonelystarbuckslover13 · 1 year

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Not to be petty but if Taylor did return to tumblr and the first post she liked was from a Twitter swiftie who ditched tumblr as soon as Taylor left and has only returned now hoping for her attention and is acting like the fandom on tumblr has been dead for 3 years I’m gonna pull my hair out 🙃

#like I want Taylor to only notice swifties who has stayed on tumblr despite her absence and I don’t care how petty that makes me

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northisnotup · 2 years

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Every night you dream that you talk to a genie, when you wake up you can't remember what you wished for. One morning you wake up with a giant crab pincer replacing your right arm. What do you do?

Write a critically acclaimed but broadly mocked masterpiece about a man who woke up as a giant cockroach.

Later, once I am dead, a screenplay will br written of my book and two directors, looking to find the worst play ever written, will pass it over as 'too good.'

This will be the highest praise I receive, posthumously.

#show and tell time #show and tell #satt-writing-prompt #tumblr takes over #better writers than me could probably work with this but i refuse out of petty annoyance #the start was a cool prompt but then you have to double down on self referential bullshit #stay Out of Touch #silence brand

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adinelleggreeo · 11 days

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One thing I'm relearning after leaving the hustle and bustle of social media (I've left IG, FB, TT and Twitter):

Good art takes time

I was so used to popping out a piece on the daily. Now I don't draw or paint everyday and that gives me breaks in between to let the art sit and I can come back to it later with fresh eyes.

I have a piece I've been working on since the middle of 2023. Because I'm not making it FOR social media, I can put it aside without guilt and come back later when I have better ideas.

I'm currently only on YouTube and Tumblr. I don't post everyday and I don't get lots of attention for what I create. Am I a little sad about it? Yeah, but out of sight, out of mind!

Not really worrying about the numbers when I'm not on social media often enough to see them! Besides, I'm an adult, I'm kind of busy with life 😆

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wing-dingy · 10 months

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Yeah that reminds me of why i hate twitter, its because its a fucking cesspool of toxicity and the most annoying people ever. Wish their website wasnt crashing down (again) so all the annoying assholes can stay there instead of bringing their toxicity back to tumblr.

Oh yeah and tumblr became slightly more bearable when people left tumblr for twitter in the first place.

#i hate twitter so much #i mean ok yeah i hated it for petty reasons like artists seem to fare better over there vs here where nobody cares #and hating it because my rp friends left tumblr for twitter but wouldnt rp with me #but then its like ugh realizing how many annoying people are over there vs here and its like. can you people stay there #you made your choice now stick with it bitch

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level20mallow · 2 years

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Intersectionality is something I think is really really destructive to the cause of social and moral progress. All it does is divide by splitting people up into groups that then do nothing meaningful and only fight each other for who's getting the gold medal in this year's Victim Olympics.

It doesn't do any good to solve real problems like rape, murder and other human rights abuses that happen to members of every single subgroup. All it does is help the elites who purposefully pit people against each other so the people can never unite and overthrow them.

You can watch it happen in literally every single stupid fucking argument about social issues on Tumblr. It's either cis women and trans women fighting over who is more oppressed, or left wingers and right wingers fighting over stupid political bullshit that they don't see will *never* get resolved, and in general members of these different subgroups angry at *each other* over pointless shit that doesn't matter.

None of it stops the mass rape and abuse the society uses to subjugate *everyone.* None of it addresses the real problem -- people's actions and choices -- and none of it exposes the real people behind the curtain -- politicians and rich people -- who enable or commit most of the crimes and problems people bicker and fight over. It doesn't do a damn thing to move us forward as a species or solve problems that affect everyone, like climate collapse and impending nuclear war which will be triggered by, get this, not cis or trans people but rich and powerful politicians who could give a fuck less about which group gets murdered more because they're causing it all to begin with

Solving our problems as a people will require brains, guts and togetherness, which none of us seem to have these days so I genuinely don't believe our problems as a nation will ever be fixed and we'll likely collapse soon on account of it. Maybe you all will stop fighting once you've all eaten each other in the flooded nuclear wastes

If you all want to sit around and blame one another for all of your problems, you can easily solve them by splitting off and *not hang around each other.* That is all

#shit like this is why i try to stay out of political discussions on this website #but i got the joy of seeing it again when i saw people bitching about something called a #and i legit had to look up what that even meant because i thought they misspelled #this is why i just can't do politics anymore #and why i find talking about my own identity pointless #we are not cis or trans or black or white #we are human beings #and because of intersectionality we forgot that #no ones suffering is worse than anyone elses #to insinuate otherwise is to devolve into victim blaming and petty racist and sexist bullshit #intersectionality is inherently racist and sexist and divisive and petty as fuck #i am so done with all of it #come to me when you're willing to talk as a human being and not to justify stupid bullshit #come to me when you're ready to help unite and overthrow the state or colonize mars or something #it's so dumb tumblr just added stupid intersectional tags i did not want put on here just to throw more shit in the pile #meanwhile the rich run roughshod over everyone but no one cares

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hazelfoureyes · 2 months

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before i never really interacted with blogs(cuz anxiety and very toxic friends had my tumblr, who ive gotten rid of now) but now i literally interact with every post bc of you, you are god and i will worship you, your smut is poetic af and has my legs SHAKING(.literally.)

i am ON MY KNEES❗

also, alastor and his rivals(vox or lucifer) x reader smut? like i know alastor would be petty asf and have them watch as he fucks the living out of their beloved, im curious, do you have any ideas regarding that?(cuz your ideas are delicious and im hungry for that)

You’ve left me speechless which is quite the accomplishment, Darling. I am just a little goblin! Or like the tooth fairy, but instead of teeth I take praise and instead of money I leave filthy smut 🥺 I am so glad you removed the toxic friends and are interacting more. 💖 you deserve better and your interactions are a joy. Thank you for brightening my day! I am so far away and yet you’ve got me blushing like a fool.

oooh yes okay so! Here’s some ideas 👀

•───⋅⋆⁺‧₊👑₊‧⁺⋆⋅───•

Energy for me is Lucifer: Here to please. Alastor: Here to win. I imagine Luci brings you to the hotel for Charlie’s Birthday party, already having a precious casual fling once or twice before. All the guests are there, everyone is dancing and drinking and having a good time. Alastor notices how you call him Luci, how Lucifer cant keep his cool when you lean closer to him when you speak. Naturally, Alastor sees an opportunity to fuck with Lucifer so he asks for a dance. He is uncharacteristically sweet and loving, willing to do anything to get under the king of hell’s skin. He changes the music to something slow, holding you close he whispers in your ear during your dance, “How can any man maintain composure around you? I feel my manners slipping through my fingers every time you look my way.” When you leave the party to cool down, Alastor follows, finding you in an empty room trying to decompress. “Would you hate me if I kissed you? Be forewarned, once I start, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop…”

Lucifer walks in to see you absolutely melting under Alastor, lipstick smeared and face flushed. But Luci adores you, your pleasure is his pleasure and he’s compelled to stay and watch, even as Alastor makes you moan and scream his name. “Who do you belong to, sweetheart?” “Whose cock are you made for?” You’re reduced to incoherent babbling by the time Alastor is finished toying with Lucifer. Lucifer can’t take it anymore and finds himself crawling onto the bed to swallow your moans and shower you in praise.

•───⋅⋆⁺‧₊🖥️₊‧⁺⋆⋅───•

I can see Vox bringing his beloved personal assistant to an overlord meeting for note taking, and Alastor notices your glances to him. Vox adores you, and is always on his best behavior around you to impress you. Alastor waits for you outside of Vee Tower that night for a “chance run in”. “What luck! Allow me to buy you a drink, as a welcome to hell.” Charms you as any good southern boy could, and suggests you both go back to your office for privacy. Knowing full well Vox has cameras all over the office, Alastor fucks Vox’s assistant on his desk while maintaining eye contact with the massive collection of screens there. Vox catches sight of this while skimming through the feeds but can’t break away from the video. Alastor keeps your back to the displays while bouncing you on his cock, smirking at Vox the entire time as he leans back on his desk chair. Vox is seething and finally rushes to his office to find Alastor gone and you lying on your back, still out of breath and cum dripping onto the desk.

Vox keeps you, but gets rid of the desk. He can’t let Alastor have the satisfaction of making him lose his prized employee. For weeks after, while zoning out in board meetings, his screen flashes images of Alastor smirking from over your shoulder as you ride him. He’s entirely unaware that it’s happening and everyone is too scared to tell him.

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writeyouin · 3 months

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Lucifer (Hazbin Hotel) X Fem-Reader - Sinless Sinners - Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - I Don't Need You

A/N – Since the first chapter got comments and actual reblogs, surprise, surprise, I was motivated to continue. See, Tumblr? This is how it works. I respond to instant validation.

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

MALE VERSION HERE

NON-BINARY / GN VERSION HERE

You looked around the dusty hallway that comprised the main entrance to Lucifer’s manor. Yikes, Charlie was right; he really did need a cleaner. You doubted that was her main motivation for placing you in her father’s care but looking at the layers of thick dust and brimstone coating downstairs, you could see it hadn’t been used in a long time.

Lucifer watched you sceptically. Ideally, he would have liked to leave you to find your own way around, but he didn’t want to be accused of not trying by Charlie, should you call her and state that Lucifer was straight up ignoring you.

With that in mind, he bade you to follow him with a wave of his arm and gave you a half-arsed tour of each room, during which he would energetically state its name, and occasionally pepper in a fact if he felt like it and then hurry along.

“Parlor one, dining room, parlour two, library, parlour the… you know what, we have a lot of those, if you see a room with chairs and a fireplace, assume it’s a parlour. Moving on, bathroom, closet, like the parlour situation, there are lots of bathrooms and closets. Kitchen, which is always stocked by the way, so I don’t have to shop,” He muttered a sentence about the Hell of going out there, and then he was back to his bubbly self, rushing you through the rest of the tour, “Games room, spa, my room – don’t go in there – and here, among the unnecessary number of bedrooms, is your room.”

Although every room in the manor was lavish by Hell’s standards, Lucifer had sneakily pre-worked a bit of his magic to make yours somewhat undesirable. It was still large and had all the fixings, but now, it was dirty, damp, and there would always be an underlying scent of slightly rotten milk, that was just noticeable to annoy anyone, yet not something so offensive that he could be blamed for causing it.

The now slightly squalid room wasn’t Lucifer’s way of being petty and cruel; it was just that he wanted you to leave, and that would only happen if you had a reason to. You should go back to the Hotel where you belonged; better yet, you should just head to a different part of Hell where neither he nor his daughter would have to look at your disgustingly human face… A face that, though nothing like Lilith’s, reminded Lucifer of his wife since there was nobody else even remotely like her except for their daughter and now, unfortunately, you.

The simple fact of the matter was that Lucifer was just waiting for you to start demanding things of him, or Charlie. It would likely start with something small, like changing rooms, then if he gave you an inch, you would take a mile, and soon you would demand he use his Angelic Powers to serve you in seemingly impossible ways.

One way or another, the room was a test. You would either see it and leave in search of greener pastures or a better deal elsewhere, leeching off whoever would give you the time of day, or you would stay and start giving orders; either way, Lucifer would be able to return to his daughter with proof that sinners were the problem, not him.

You stepped into the room, accidentally kicking up a cloud of dust that made you sneeze.

After a minute, you turned to Lucifer, “Thank you for the room. It’s lovely.”

Lucifer held back a grimace as you had the audacity to smile at him.

“Great,” He replied in a strained tone, “Just perfect. So, I’ll uh, leave you to get settled in and-”

Just then a portal opened over the canopy bed and two packed suitcases landed there, courtesy of Charlie. Lucifer tasted his daughter’s magic in the air and sighed resignedly; whatever Charlie had planned she wasn’t backing down from what she likely thought was a good idea.

“Right on time,” Lucifer commended the fine timing of his daughter, and even though he was clearly uncomfortable with her plan to give him company, he did seem genuinely proud of her expert timing; then again, he was proud of anything she chose to do even if he didn’t always understand what it was she was doing.

“Great,” He repeated somewhat tiredly. Then he forced himself to smile. It was important that you would see him happy so that Charlie would hear about it later. “You go ahead and unpack. I’m going to do some very important work.”

The sentiment of ‘Don’t disturb me!’ hung in the air, unspoken, but obviously there.

Once Lucifer left, you flopped down on your bed, thinking about all you had seen. You checked your phone, finding several texts from Charlie, progressively getting more impatient as she awaited your reply with a somewhat hyper-anxious anticipation; it seemed the apple truly didn’t fall far from the tree.

‘How was your arrival?’

‘Did you get the grand tour?’

‘Which room did he put you in?’

‘I bet it was the Rococo room.’

‘Oh no, he didn’t put you up in my old room, did he? That would be so EMBARRASSING!!!’

‘Wait, why aren’t you replying?! PLEASE TELL ME HE’S BEING NICE TO YOU!’

‘I can come over if you need me to.’

‘Did your bags get there okay?’

You smiled and decided to put Charlie out of her misery. Your phone alerted you that she was already writing another message, but as soon as you started to compose one of your own, the notification that she was typing disappeared.

‘The tour was fine. Lucifer has been nothing but polite,’ and frazzled, you thought, though you omitted that part from the text; it was best that Charlie didn’t have anything extra to worry about while preparing for her meeting with Heaven.

‘My room is also amazing btw. I don’t know about Rococo or whatever, but it’s certainly stunning, and judging by the lack of stuffed animals and probably cheesy posters, I’m guessing it isn’t your old room.’

You really meant that. While your room was in need of a good cleaning, and there was a slightly off odour, it was indeed beautiful with its lacquered wooden floors, rich velvet drapes (Hell-Red of course) and lustrous emerald wallpaper. It was one of the most beautiful places you had ever seen, especially since arriving in Hell, not long dead after… the incident.

You removed your thoughts far from the grim memory of your death, not wanting to relive your demise. It never did any good to think of such things, and you had to wonder whether all Demons fixated on the manner in which they perished. Perhaps some were lucky enough to die in their sleep or get hit by a bus; at least the latter would be quick, and the former peaceful.

Moreover, you also believed the other part of your text; Lucifer probably kept Charlie’s room as a shrine to her youth. He seemed like the sort of person who was stuck in the past.

Your phone buzzed again, and you expected another message from Charlie, but it was from Angel Dust.

‘When you get the chance, snoop in the Short King’s bedroom and find out what kinky shit he’s into. I’m betting food play. He seems like a whipped cream and apples kind of guy if you catch my drift.’

Betting? He had undoubtedly roped Husk and Nifty into said bet. Husk had likely opted for a safe option like bondage… You didn’t want to know what kind of kinky shit Nifty thought Lucifer was into; that girl was a dark horse.

“Never going to happen,” You murmured to yourself with a chuckle; you would never invade Lucifer’s privacy like that, but Angel’s text had made you laugh and distracted you from your earlier thoughts.

Getting up, you pushed yourself into action and began unpacking both your thoughts and your few clothes and possessions. You lit a scented candle that Angel had gifted you. It was one of his unwanted gifts from Valentino, Blueberry Blowjob. You were glad when the scent filled the air, taking away from what you incorrectly assumed was the faint smell of mildew. The smell didn’t concern you, you had plenty more candles and tea lights with such names as Orange Orgasm, Popcorn Pussy, and Cherry Cum-Shot.

The manner was well furnished, but all of the rooms were neglected. There were seven parlours in total, each matching the theme of one Sin, probably because it would be polite should they ever need to meet with the Royal Family one-on-one. Despite that, they seemingly hadn’t been used in some time, nor had the library or any of the living rooms. You hadn’t seen much of Lucifer’s room as he rushed you past the door, which had only been slightly ajar, but what little you had caught a glimpse of seemed cleaner than the rest of the manor. Did he spend all of his time in there? Alone? That was… It was sad. Lucifer could live well among anyone in Hell, except maybe Alastor, yet he couldn’t see the good in anyone.

Without Charlie and Lilith that must be lonely. How depressing that he had created a kind of personal Hell inside of Hell. You were starting to think that Charlie was right to send you home with him.

Still, it seemed like he needed some time to get used to the idea of company and you had a job to work as his maid. Once you were unpacked, you would seek out the cleaning supplies and get started.

Lucifer draped himself over his workbench, listlessly toying with a rubber duck. It was one of his worst creations… Couldn’t even breathe fire.

He didn’t even know why he continued to make them. Honestly, he couldn’t think of anything else to make, and it was better to make something than nothing, even if he ended up creating the same thing over and over again, clinging to the memory of how one celestial duck had made Charlie smile.

Her smile was everything. Even Heaven couldn’t take that away, or… Maybe they could, if this meeting went awry. No. Please God, No. Not that. Anything but that. Kill the sinners. Show him the agonising mistake of Free Will for eternity, but he hoped to never see the day that Heaven treated his daughter with the same derision they typically reserved for him.

Lucifer froze, a glower darkening his expression as you knocked on the door.

He had clearly implied that he didn’t want to be bothered. IMPLIED IT! It hadn’t even been one day and you were bothering him.

Lucifer didn’t open the door. He didn’t want you to see inside his room. That was his space and his alone. Yet, he didn’t want any risk of you barging in, so he poofed himself to where you stood outside, using a glamorous entrance to grab your attention.

“Yes?” He said expectantly, leaning forward on his cane, as if leaning closer to you didn’t disturb him half as much as it did.

“Oh,” You blinked back surprise, though you weren’t too shocked seeing how Alastar always snuck up on you at the Hotel in a similarly flamboyant manor. “Sorry to disturb you, Sir, but I just wondered if you could tell me where the cleaning products are kept? I would like to get started as soon as I can.”

Cleaning products? Lucifer was stuck on the sentiment as if he’d never heard of such foreign words. Then he seemed to remember, you had been volunteered as his maid. Right… That was Charlie’s way of making him take you.

You waited patiently for a response, having quickly learned that your host tended to drift between a fast-talking façade or thoughtful distractedness. You wished you didn’t have to ask him for help, but after searching three floors and the attic, you had gotten somewhat turned around, and you had no idea where you had already looked; the manor was massive.

Finally, Lucifer seemed to come to and he began boredly examining his hand.

“That won’t be necessary,” He stated demurely.

“It won’t?”

“No. It won’t.”

Behind you, Lucifer caught sight of a portrait of his family. The frame was carved blood-wood harvested from a Tree-Demon who once dared to insult Lilith in Lucifer’s presence. Two winged snakes adorned opposing corners of the portrait. With a lazy wave of his hand, they creaked and snapped, coming to life, and escaping their previous wooden home, leaving only indentations where they used to be. With another magical flourish, they grew slightly and became more life-like, shedding splinters as their new uniforms appeared.

“There, see, two half-sized cleaners. They’ll take care of everything.”

You stared hard at the new servants of the house, somewhat amazed by the show of power; nobody else in Hell could do anything close to creating life, and it seemed that Lucifer didn’t even care that he had such power.

Frankly, Lucifer was upset with his new creations. He had finally strayed from ducks, creating something new for the first time in over a century, and they were still bland. When he had created Razzle and Dazzle for Charlie, he had done everything he could to make them beautiful and unique. These abominations in front of him were cheap copies of that Sir Pentious fellow he had seen at the hotel. He just didn’t have anything left worth creating. There was no point.

Whatever. The snake servants would do their job quietly and obediently. And they’d be more useful and less annoying than Charlie’s reptilian friend.

“Oh, okay. Well, is there anything else you’d like me to do?” You asked, wishing to be useful. “I can cook pretty well, or I could run errands, or-”

“NO!” Lucifer snapped.

“But-”

“Don’t you get it?! I DON’T NEED YOU.”

Lucifer forced himself to take a calming breath, his gaze downcast so he didn’t have to look at you.

“This is all my daughter’s plan. All you have to do is stay out of my way here and Charlie will be happy. Do you think you can manage that?”

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its-gracelynwow · 1 year

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! WARNING TO ALL HOGWARTS LEGACY PLAYERS !

DO NOT BROWSE TUMBLR

People have decided to post spoilers because of their useless infatuation with rowling! Some of the top posts are spoilers and it's honestly the saddest, most petty thing these people can do. Enjoy the game for what it is, it's made extraordinary well and you can enjoy the story without even knowing who J.K Rowling is or what she said. I did. Stay safe out there normal people.

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts #harry potter #sebastian sallow #Mirabel Garlick #slytherin #ravenclaw #gryffindor #hufflepuff #j.k rowling

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spiralingemptyness · 8 months

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Clone wars hc

Been lurking on tumblr for a bit (while) and decided to throw my own clone wars hc cause the hyperfixation be hyper fixated (sorry for any spelling errors).

Kit Fisto and Obi-Wan are bffs - They both lose their robes and seem to flirt with anything that walks. meaning they have get togethers and give each other flirting advice.

Jocasta Nu and Admrial Yularen are BAMF, and are severly underrated. you don't get away with hurting someone they care about unpunished.

Rex's first thought of ashoka was "that's a child" followed by "that's a child on a battle field" and then "that's a child on a battle field with no clothes, what the kark".

One of the shinies from Monnk's battalion definitely asked Fisto (while high on pain meds) if he lactates and monnk and fisto lost their shit and couldn't stop laughing for 5 min straight.

Kix (and other medics by default) have tranq/hypo guns for any vode or jedi that try to leave med bay when on bed rest.

Fox and Amidala gossip and constantly talks shit about Palpatine

Kit Fisto Smile Supremacy, this man win's best smile, it never fails to cheer someone up.

Rex definitely twirls his guns before putting them in his holsters when he's done using them

Bly is obviously in love with Aayla, and he tries to hide it (and fails miserably) but he's so respectful about loving her and swooning, that Quinlan couldn't even give him a shovel talk.

the clones were absolutely baffled when they met the jedi's

Wolffe and Fox are twins, they might be at each others throats 90% of the time, but if you talk shit about the one of them, the other won't hesitate to beat your ass.

Monnk says the most off handed shit in a dead pan tone (ex. Monnk: well I'm not gonna live, laugh, love this. Fisto, laughing his ass off: I-I'm Sorry? Monnk: I'm just saying this is gonna be a bitch)

Plo Koon is Plo Buir, He's at least adopted the Wolf Pack and Ashoka

the 501st and Ashoka are siblings

Grey adopted Caleb Dume

The Iron Battalion/13th battalion took one look at Cal and immediately adopted him

Ponds isn't dead (cause fuck canon), he found Boba before his schemes could go off and made him a deal, He helps Boba plan the assassination attempts on Windu (he trust his general won't die, but he gave him more headaches) so there's no casualties, but slowly the attempts stop and now Boba just lives in the 91st venator's vents.

The first time Cody picked up Obi-Wan's lightsaber he thought it was so cool, and now he just wants to glue the damn thing into his hand

Hound spoils Grizzer, he absolutely adores the massif

Jesse make sure Kix is actually taking care of himself, and make sure he's not over working (and when necessary, he uses a hypo to make sure Kix sleeps, cause Kix will hold that over his head and pay him back for it)

Fox and Thorn are opposites but they are really close

The corrie guard has a list of all the good and bad senators

The most forms that Monnk and Cody (and occasionally Ponds) fill out are forms for more robes

Cody's name is Kote (but goes by Cody cause so many nat borns mispronounce it) and Obi-Wan randomly asked if that was his name, and Cody was just utterly shocked

After Umbara, Fox say a very traumatized trooper (it's Dogma) who is facing shitty consequences for doing the right thing and adopts him into the guard

After Kix woke up from his stasis and found artoo's (again, fuck canon) he would stay up on nights he couldn't sleep and watch videos of him and his vode from artoo's memory bank

Clones using their Jedi's lightsaber - Cody using Kenobi's lightsaber after he loses it for the millionth time, Rex using it to back ventress away from ashoka, Fox finding quinlan's in a dumpster (with quinlan in said dumpster)

Hound let's grizzer purposely tackle people when he can easily apprehend them because it's funny or because whoever he's chasing pissed him off and he's petty

Yoda is the ultimate menace (like srs palpitine hates his ass, but yoda -and everyone else- hates him even more)

Yoda still keeps in touch with Rys, Jek, and Thire (mainly Thire) after the treaty or smth

The Corrie found Quinlan Vos in a dumpster and now he won't stop bugging them (expecially Fox)

Fox is a walking encyclopedia of every republic laws, you do one minor thing wrong and he can quote every law you broke, word to word

A trooper (let's call him Sharks) from Fisto and Monnk's battalion can just get a group of sharks to gather around, at every planet, every time, without fail

Plo's disappointed dad sigh can make a separatist army fold into defeat

Kenobi absolutely loathes caf, he hates it with a passion

Each high ranking clone officer has to deal with something of their jedi - Cody has to deal with Kenobi flirting with seperatist and losing his lightsaber, Rex has to deal with his general constantly crashing ships, his batshit crazy plans and his general continuously using the force to throw him, Monnk has to deal with his general randomly "shedding" clothes, and all the clones have to deal with their generals and commanders not wearing armor (Except for Jaro Tapal, HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO WEARS ARMOR)

Corrie Guard can sleep standing up, very useful when guarding in the pods during senate meetings

The nice Senators (mainly Chuichi, Amidala, and Organa) and Vos very often get things for the Coruscant Guards, and whenever the guard see's the gifts they are baffled and bamboozled

Rex called dibs on Domino squad after the moon mission

Echo and Fives without hesitation took Tup and Dogma under their wing

Fives, Hardcase and Jesse started a prank war in the 501st that accidently evolved into a GAR wide prank war (with Coruscant being neutral ground, cause the guard doesn't need to deal with that shit, doesn't mean they don't help out)

Fox holds ALL the blackmail, and has multiple informants in every battalion, plus he has the power to withhold caf shipments

Fox also regularly reads his batchmates mission reports to mae sure their ok

The Corrie guard accidently adopted a stray tooka and a loth cat, now they're the guards emotional support animals

Rex keeps complaining about his brothers flirting with their jedi's that he didn't even realized that he third wheeled between Anakin and Padme that he joined their relationship

every mothers or fathers day without fail, shaak ti and plo koon always gets presents and gifts from their children (troopers and cadets.... and ashoka)

Coric is Kix's Ori'vod, he didn't admit it at first but Kix grew on him and well medics stay togeth

Coric purposely avoided being CMO of the 501st because they are hellions, Kix wanted to strangle him after he realized what being CMO of the 501st meant

Rex was on the 212th with Cody when Anakin was still a padawan

Rex hates evals, natural blonde plus Kamino is a recipe for hell. Also he was shocked at Skywalker being nonchalant about his hair, Anakin just though it made him cooler

That's all I have for now, if you see any you've seen before my bad, I honestly just typed the first that came to mind and kinda spiraled from there. I'm just now starting to interact with tumblr, so I might upload more and maybe even some art if I can stay focused long enough.

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