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#started coloring and then just gave up because i dont have the energy
135crow · 11 months
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not doing so good but what’s better than a couple cora-sans to soothe the soul
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withintime2 · 5 months
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i don't have art energy so here's a talky about how my designs are
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so basically, slugcats to me are equivalently like eeveelutions from pokemon. highly adaptive, mother nature fears them, father evolution gave them a line of coke, that sorta thing.
as slugpups they start out as a blank canvas and as they grow and age in certain environments they get certain traits to adapt to the environment and even mimicking creatures
my "rules" were not to have repeats (within my canon scugs at least) and not to have any default edible items. hazer doesn't count because its technically an item at first also i didnt know what else sorry.
individual slugcats!
survivor: scavenger-inspired, but not too heavily because they switch environments a lot. (meta: i thought scavs were the perfect neutral symbol, with how their reputation is finicky and stuff, and theyre also highly intelligent! like our default slugcat)
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monk: rain deer bc passive and goopy (meta: idk i just thought rain deer were the most passive a creature could get without being edible)
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hunter: the rot. becau
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gourmand: lantern mice! they might not have grown up in shaded citadel (as far as we know) but they still adapted because i think lantern mice and slugcats share a common ancestor. (meta: they spawn in shaded citadel and also are passiveish)
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artificer: cyan lizards/leapzards! jumpy and i think they use the same propulsion method. (meta: aggressive and also the most terrible lizard type dont @ me)
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rivulet: jetfish! just an iconic water critter that's neutral and also incredibly annoying sometimes
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spearmaster: spitter spider! just kind of weird and freaky and Not Right (meta: i feel like the spiders captured just the right amount of freaky and tied to their abilities, with the whole organic weapon thing)
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saint: echo. because. canon
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enot/inv/sofanthiel: ...they don't really have a creature because theyre so Not in this world. they're like eldritch horror that also tries to dating sim the inhabitants of this world
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nightcat: hazer! because they camouflage! in my headcanon, at least... also theyre hte sameish color
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raydianbluesandhues · 11 months
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YAYY and also speaking of anything abut dr. von blot? hes becoming one of my fav inkys so
lil scientist guy? i have a few Hcs about him --
I never played the DS version but I DID watch a 4 hour 100% walkthrough of it. i am mentally ill
anyways.
So I originally thought that the scientist Inky that talks to Blob before the mutant Inky boss fight was just a random one that was interested in studying Blob. rightfully so because I would want to research him too if I was on the losing side of the war. like tell me your secrets magic man
But they're the same person
Mutated Ink was Von's lil project that he was working on for,, quite a bit of time really. he wanted to impress Comrade, his superior, with something that could change the war forever
Of course, this meant holing himself up in his lab as he worked, making him miss the entirety of the first war and therefore missing his chance to show Comrade the fruits of his labor. he had no knowledge of anything that was happening until Blob fucking jumpscared him by falling into his lab Undertale style
like SIR GET OUT OF MY HOUSE
I think surviving that rocket is a miracle in and of itself, I would imagine that the mutated ink that caused him to turn into de Blot probably came off in the explosion and he turned back to normal
something something the explosion had color energy in it and with him already being in a weakened state the mutated ink came off
the one difference between him and Comrade is the fact that Von lost due to his temper, and Comrade lost due to his arrogance. Von started this wanting to impress someone who was off doing something else entirely and had no knowledge of anything happening in Chroma
speaking of what was happening in Prisma I think Von went over there asap after hearing about what was going on
he was so caught up with his research and being "de Blot" that he had no knowledge of Comrade's shenanigans in Prisma
he was involved in the creation of the Spikeys and the updated versions of the Elites, and I think that would've gotten him a bit more attention from Comrade, which is WHAT HE WANTED IN THE FIRST PLACE
like, imagine being noticed by your idol after like. what. 5 years?
i think he'd try again with the mutated ink because it was successful in its own right and he, again, thought that it would help them out in the war
with it being so close to the end of the war though, and with the Raydians starting to revolt, I would like to think he gave up on it again and discarded it
HOWEVER.
i like to think that the mutant Inky was a product of this. with him discarding the batch of mutated ink he was working on perhaps some inkies thought that it was a misplaced shipment of ink that needed to be put in the factory
and then boom! confused ink monster fucking up everything
now obviously Blob and co. dont recognize Von because he's not a blob anymore (outside of Pinky)
but von CLEARLY remembers them and of course, hates their fucking guts
SOMETHING ELSE I THOUGHT OF. very quickly before i end the post
he def had something to do with the Blancs. if I remember correctly regular ink will kill anything it touches, including Raydians (no so fun fact: if you roll over a raydian while you are inked, the raydian dies), but in the DS game the mayor gets hit with a glob of what I'm guessing is mutated ink, and he was just annoyed
mutated ink is still ink, but i guess it's not as corrosive as regular ink is? after all, it is mutated ink, it explains why the Blancs look the way they do. they've mutated into something.. unholy
i think comrade would've told him about his plans. his plans to take over Prisma and the world, and bring the raydians to their knees. Von would just look at him and be like "yeah you know how that ended for you last time. it's not like they're gonna listen to you. unless you brainwash them of course"
an idea was born that day
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thesilentlands · 10 months
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-Next
Chapter 4: Someone From The Deep
-Part 1
Michaels hunger started to become more notisible, he feels weaker and his head started hurting.
-you might what to eat something soon, my sensors can hear your hunger even from afar -eat what? There is nothing hire - i detect a sea side near by -sure then, lets go.
They both go to the eadge of a cliff to find an ocean many meters down, michael loes his cool a bit because of hunger and sits angrily on the ground
-whats the point, i cant swin and even if i could i dout any sea life found aproche me, great. Just great -why dont you use my powers Michael?- Michael looks at Volt with confussion in his eyes -powers? -correct, wanne see?- Michael noded -firstly you need to open your hand and focus a bit, you need to imagen a line in your mind, then cut it -what? -just focus.. - michael opens his hand to reaveal a yellow leends infused in to his hand, he then closes his eyes and focuses. Then he seas a yellow orb, that slowly aproches him he seas it when the orb got closed enought it turned in to a line, Michael then cut it and felt a slight pain in his right eye, he opened his left eye, holding the right eye shut, he was suprised at what he saw next. The same orb now in this hand, leviationg, conected to the leends by something that resembled a string, Michael then opened his other eye that then activeted soemthing. A floating panel appered, it was conected to his right eye and the yellow orb, michael was confused then he turned to see Volt, he had a slight smirk on his face.
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-first time huh? -what... is this? -your personal projection that aplies to the real world, meaining it can interact with the real world -how does it work -you have this panel that appered after you opened your eye, you can modify three things: the nail, orb and the conection, in other words the string -why are some of my options blured or not responding at all? -this can mean two things: you havent discovered the part yet or your too weak, that's why your orb is really transparent, to use your orb you need to eat to get the energy -michael modifies the orb to have a hook like end, when hes ready he throws the spear down. Surpisingly the spear springs out like an arrow and hits something, michael starts pulling and the fish seamed to dont have any weight tight to it, but the moment it flops on the land michael is unable to pick it up again
-big catch- Volt scans the fish that Micheal cauth -this power... Its amazing! Can you do thos things too? -only my owner can do them, i only give them out to people i trust - have you gaven them before -i was forced to give them away,but your the first person that i gave it freely- Volt finishes the scan - the fish that you cautch is a masive tuna, this one dosent seam to have any parasides AND can be eaten raw -great, finaly some food - Michael starts to slowly cut the tuna and enjoyed every bite that he took, Volt could see that his right eye glowed brighter and brighter the more he ate
-your eye glows brighter, -huh? -your right eye... -michael stops eatting and pulles out a mirror to look at him self for the first time since he left the bunker -are thos...Glowing Wires?! -dont be alarmed, they dont change anything, they even improve your blood flow. -they go all the way down my neak... -you can turn down the color a bit wail using your orb -im gonna leave them like that for now -alright - Sudently a loud rumble started to begone, it camed from the sea side, before both could react something came up from the water.
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A gigant mechanical octopus emerged from the deep, Michael quickly took his backpack and tryed to ran away, but then the octopus spoke -wAiT! - It yelled out, wail setteling on the ground. -youve meet something like this before?! -no! - the machinery then started to open up to reaveal something. Or rather someone.
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A blue octopus, dresses almoust like a human emerged from inside the mech, behind him was a mysterious green blob that was hanging from the cealing. The octopuss had a weard ring around his neak that projected a pixelated screen but the screen is slowly disapearing and turning in to a liquid, it alos has green gloves on every tentacle that he has, it also has a pair of green goggles that he slowly removed from his eyes, reaviling two diffrent colored small eyes the left one bright green, and the other one deep blue, it looked at Volt and Michael with curiousity. Both Volt and Michael where really confused, but aproched the octopus slowly -hello? -human what are you doing hire? -what do you mean? Who are you? -the octopus looked a bit abresed -oh sorry im not used to talking to humans, im Vurpl nice to meet you! -well im Michael and this is Volt -as for my question what are you doing hire? -Volt anwsered -im guiding him to a city, it just over two hills from hire -ohh.. oh no. Im sorry to inform you but the city that you probobly reafering to dosent exsist anymore -what do you mean, ive heard from many that there is a city there -i live near from hire that city was there 200 years ago, beyond that is an infinite filed where you get devourd by the grass thats 1000m from hire - Volt looked first angry, but before he said anything he turned his expresion in to a sad face -you really know that -yeah... - Michael looks at Volt the at Vurpl again -then where are we gonna go now? -i know a vault with all the informationyou need -what serial number? -number 87, you know it - Volt looked happy at the response he got -Michael,he know where it is!! -what? -Vault 87 will have all the information well need to get to the safest and bestes city there is, and the best part its that the informations are constantly updated -you what a little bit over... -my appologies -will you take us there Vulpl? -i can take you a place that is near, you know, water doesnt get there so my mech will not work.. -alright lets go then -come!
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-just let me get all the systems ready and we will there in no time! - Vurpl entered the gigant blob of green liquid, and a lot of small interactive panels surounded him. He used all his eight tentacles to intecart with all of them. Then the door that they came in was now closed shut, and the mech started moving back in to the water, it fell from the cliff and plumit down into the waters, Michael looked out one of the windows that looked like the mechs eyes from outside, the window was clean, no green color was visible, just the wide ocean. It was beautifull, full of all kinds of fish, and other sea creatures. Some fish where curious and came up to the windows to look inside. Michael looked at them with amaze as, the fish also looked at him with curiousity.
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-you see view like this everyday? -yeah.. but it gets boring the more you look -really? -yeah, it also gets lonely hire -no wonders, your are a smart creature thats probobly the only one hire, by the way how are you still alive? Dont octopuses live like 8 months? -when the time substance was still alive, my master sacroficed himself so that the eternal life will go to me, i dont know if it was a good idea or bad, but im glad that im alive- Volt spoke out now- what kind of substance are you in? -oh its acid -how? Its impossible - my master modified me so that i can only breath acid, i think that he tryied to make a break true, but ill never know -what name did he had? -i dont know, his name plak only said LAB, i think it standed for something but it doesnt matter anymore -what is your life purpous -im trying to find company, you know, someone like me, i still hope that there is someone outhere had the same idea as me, but i dont know, its been so long.. -thats sad to think about -we have arrived, preper yourself - the mech lifted it self out of the water and they all walked out of it -alright youll just need to go over that hill and youll see it -thank you a lot, actually i have something for you, its a little old but i hope that it will find a good use for you - Michael pulls out a rubix cube thats pronobly older than him he offers it to Vurpl
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-whats a rubix cube? -you basicly have to make all the sides the same color - Vurpl takes the cube and inspects it -thank you for this gift Michael! -i hope to see you around -i dont know maybe one day we will meet again, see ya guys! -bye! - Vurpl enters his mech and disapears yet again in to the deep, Michael and Volt walk twards the hill, once they are at the top of it they see the vault in the distance, they slowly make theier way to it.
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mizugucci · 2 years
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💭goosebumps - onf
i dont think you know what you signed up for... i could talk about goosebumps for AGES. its not their best song but its the perfect song for what we needed, when we needed it. like. okay it was THE perfect send off, it was everything we could have asked for! i wont say it was a cultural reset, because it wasnt, it was more like 'yes this is us, and we're still BEING us and we will be us once again'
the song is a banger. the music video is beautifully produced, calling back to other mv and yet keeping room open for the future. the promotion was actually pretty good too and you could TELL wm threw all their remaining money/effort into this last comeback -- because it WOULD be the last one. for two years. and if thats not enough then think about the BOOM oh my god we get from mk. gets me every mf time!!!!! its perfect for any time of the day, it's upbeat enough for a beautiful day but it also has a darker side to it making itperfect for night drives or rainy evenings. its so well done and the producers truly knew what they were doing with each members voice
goosebumps is one of my favorite songs ever if only because of the era that it produced as well, ive stayed up till 3/4am for exactly three comebacks and goosebumps was one of them. i remember we were all up really late and there were like ~12 of us all excitedly waiting together for it to drop, and i rmbr very specifically we all started posting like WTF ITS 2 MINS LATE.......... it was so funny. and all the ccs worked together to get their stuff out and we all rb each other stuff. it was a beautiful morning
then there were the performances (I LOVE the perf for goosebumps!!!! mk giving me all the energy i want in a choreo) and their concerts, which i watched with elle and haley (which again was another wonderful morning) we stayed up until 5am (my time) just obsessing over the concert, and then fuseblr broke down all together when mk enlisted first... then the rest of them... i mean it was a roller coaster of emotions, but like it was so worth it. you could tell the members were truly having fun, even while they had an expiration date...
also it gave me EVERYTHING i wanted in yuto. like that is when i became truly obsessed w him. they gave me purple hair (my fav color) they styled him in sexy leather AND THEN STYLED HIS HAIR UP... i dont think you and i were mutuals when goosebumps came out but i can tell you my fusetuals were there front and center when i went feral after seeing his forehead djfskhg and that was only in the mv! they gave me forehead!yuto TWICE after that!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CMON. LOOK AT THIS........ finally we get sexy yuto! i also have more to say but im going to end there. just KNOW goosebumps means the world to me in many ways...
in conclusion: goosebumps is onf's best era, because not only did it solidify their place in the industry with the high quality music and music video equal to beautiful beautiful -- but it showed the world (and fuses) that they weren't changing who they are, and that they'll be back. it brought everyone together, both in happiness but also in sadness. as a fuse, you automatically have a friend in onf and other fuses, and goosebumps only proved that.
im not going to apologize for how long this got because it is clear im not sane when it comes to onf or goosebumps. im not even trying to be normal anymore <3 im not putting this under a readmore either i NEED everyone to see this. also now that i wrote an entire thesis im going to rb all my goosebumps gifsets!!!!!!!!
send me some emojis!!
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chihirolovebot · 2 years
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pspspspspspsp…………
hi!!!! i come bearing gifts! heeeere is physicist. i changed some aspects about them like turning the overalls from olive to black because i really enjoy the black/red/white palettes. i also gave them those gloves (for their science experiments where they mix chemicals up so their hands dont explode? i truly know nothing about physics). im definitely gonna overhaul their design at some point because i think they need more flair so they fit in with the rest of the dr cast yk. im still working on a full portrait of them atm (color shading etc etc) which i sincerely hope u will enjoy
also! i wanted to throw in here: PLEASE listen to me and michael + when you die (both my mgmt) if you haven’t already bc those 2 songs have kokichi/physicist written all over them.
the front pocket was not originally part of the overalls btw! they wanted a larger place to store more of their things so they clumsily tried to sew a pocket into an item of clothing without knowing much about sewing or anything. they were really bummed when it turned out looking weird but eventually came to enjoy the personality it added to their fit.
the kokichi doodle at the bottom is him playing with their glasses! they are basically just the talks a lot + listens dynamic,, also i feel VERY weird about kokichi’s hair i swear i messed up somehow while drawing it but i can’t figure out what exactly it was. the little stick figures of physicist and oma were me on my last brain cell but i think that’s them for the entire fic in a nutshell. oma likes to go on villain monologues and physicist is done with his bullshit!
the big physicist on the left is them posing for a picture! they look awkward because i imagine them being kinda camera shy. i also imagine whoever took the picture just kinda snuck up on them and snapped.
ah yes yes and the fan game! i’m partway through the prologue and if you want i can send you a short demo of the draft i have so far? so far it’s taken a turn from the traditional dr games since i got rid of the movement mechanic,, so now it’s more of like a VN than anything! i don’t know HOW i’m going to draw all the CGs and sprite customization options (thank you to @/goldentime for the idea by the way i really appreciate it :D) and write all the code as well as do the ost and decal and all that other stuff but i will find a way! somehow. it’s been really fun though and i’m actually very proud of what i have so far!!
anyways. ty for writing sleep awake! it’s crazy to me that such a long and gorgeously written fic is up on the internet for FREE. it’s definitely better than most original fiction is, and dare i say, much much better than the actual v3. i love what you did with chapter 3, the trial felt soo natural i forgot several times that it wasn’t what was in the actual game! it’s obvious how much time and effort you put into research, planning, and writing, and it really shows! so thank you <333
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HELPPPP OH MY GOD THESE ARE SO FUCKING CUTE!!! im literally sitting so giddy here rn!!! ur mc is so special to me i LOVEEEE how they look so much god their vibe is indescribable... giving sad wet kitten energy. want to wrap them in a fuzzy blanket and place them gently on a pile of newspapers.
the gloves r such a neat addition!!! the block colouring n black and red kind of reminds me of the persona 5 artstyle which is a huge compliment!!! i lov their hair... their lil glasses... the freckles.... so so cute. will be turning this version of mc over in my head Forever !
hehe the little kokichi interactions give me so much life. the one of him fiddling with their glasses is so immaculate and u have their vibe absolutely down pat, 'talks a lot' and 'listens' is simply just THEM!!! oh but it sometimes goes the other way around when mc starts rambling abt physics n ouma is jus. jus sitting there. absorbing it all. mc's little blush is adorable and i totally think kokichi would just fiddle with their glasses or clothes while talking. is he doing it on purpose?? who knows???
I HAVE LISTENED TO WHEN U DIE BEFORE (it was actually my first mgmt song!!!) and holy shit ur so right. my third eye has been so closed,, and urs has been so open. definitely feels like kokichi talking to the mc like, putting on this evil mean facade, wanting them to hate him so he can keep up with his mastermind shtick and keep them at arms length but sigh, they know him too well and the act isn't holding up. i listened to me and michael because i hadn't heard it before and yes yes YES i see the vision. the closeness of two people being affected by red flags or toxicity or just other people or outside factors.... god. thinking so so hard abt this now and they're both going on the sleep awake playlist!!!
I WOULD LOVE FOR U TO SEND ME WHAT U HAVE ALREADY FOR THE GAME WHAT!!! WHAT!!! holy shit. it turning out like a visual novel is probably ideal, right?? i dont know anything abt game development AT ALL so forgive me if i say something dumb but most fan games dont include all the complex mechanisms from actual danganronpa games and most tend to just either be youtube vids or click and point thingies or just. yeah. visual novels!! which is so good.
as for the cg's and stuff, i dont rly know :( i would offer to draw them myself if i was any good at art, basically all im good at is sprite edits but im trash at anatomy and stuff so i rly dont think i would be any help. i would suggest commissioning but thats probably way too expensive, and again, like. i would commission stuff myself but im so broke at the moment. i COULD always commission some stuff when my student finance comes in, because i'll have a bit extra this year as my accommodation is way less expensive. but we can cross that bridge when we come to it i think!!! whatever ends up happening will be more than fine by me!!! im literally so excited
thank u so so much again for this art and for the game which i cannot believe is a real thing!!! i will treasure these for life <33
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blackvail22 · 8 months
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9/24/23 — 1:10am
theres a lot that happened within the past two days its insane. on the 22nd, i had to train this new associate for the whole day. he's rlly nice, and he's fun to talk to. he caught on really quick! im excited to work with him
also, that same day, i got back with my ex!!! it could be a dumb decision (because this is the 3rd time) but i really want things to work out. again, no one is going to know besides you... and... my coworkers, but thats different
the coworker that gave me his number, he gave me a note at work that says "im awkward so i dont know how to say this out loud, but i like you" and then taped a soda tab on it (it was the "hug" meaning one, which... i dont like but could be worse). so! ive told the new associate i have a boyfriend. im going to tell them i have a boyfriend, but im telling those im closest to at work that its because i dont want my worker to hit on me anymore
if he keeps going after that, i have to report him. im not letting someone get away with that, not this time.
i have to start standing up for myself... im just scared because of that teenager who got killed because she rejected her (adult) co-worker, im afraid its going to be me. this is the reason i dont like hearing abt death.
on another note, back to abt my boyfriend....
im writing this as soon as i ended the call with him. i miss him already. i wonder how and why my brain changes how i react to things because of a label. i feel so clingy. i want to talk to him more. he does make me happy, and i hope i make him happy too
oh, i also bought this candle... its supposed to "smell like london" and it says the scent is "afternoon biscuits and tea" so thats nice. i bought it to think of you, nd its nice that the color of the candle matches my room
oh last thing ! i took my permit drivers test and i passed it! feels so surreal because i never thought i was ever gonna end up driving but here we are lol
anyways i like this song
6:06am —
dude i couldnt fall asleep until like 4:30am and my mom woke me up at 5:30, screaming at me to find something i didnt have!!! i found it! and it was in her bag, a place she didnt look (because she only looked one place!!!!!!) at least i can sleep now, but idek if i can do that because i feel awake now. im going to sob. FUVKKK I HAVE A HEADACHE AND SINUS PAIN NOW IM GOING TO CRY DUDE. and the fact that she walked up the stairs to scream at me (she never walks up the stairs)???? ooo. im so mad bro! like im going to wake up whenever i have my alarms set and im going to punch a wall because i cant sleep without getting interrupted. IM PISSED TF OFF NOW bevause i havent had adequate sleep since my last off day (a week ago) and i dont have a lot of sleep for tomorrow because i have to wake up at 6am for an appointment thats 2hrs away. sure, ill sleep in the car, but with my mom? she wont let it happen. and i dont have another off day untl thursday, and i cant sleep in for that one either becahse i have another goddamn appointment in the morning. like, is this what being an adult is? being harrassed by coworkers, never having enough sleep, never able to fall asleep.... it cant be cause those all haopened when i was a teenager too. stuck in that cycle, though, and i cant wait for that cycle to finally end.
bad things always tend to happen to me. is it because i bring bad energy? AHHHHHHH i just need to scream cry
i am going to try to sleep now. I've rambled on for way too long
11:17pm
been incredibly sad today. i think it was my lack of sleep, or maybe it was my mom yelling at me and waking me up. still, my heart feels so ... heavy. i cant help but feel bad for people who love me. if i was them, i would choose anyone else to love endlessly. im undeserving of it all, anyway. i dont feel happy tonight. i hope tomorrow's better. i dont know what changed and made me feel this way because when i woke up and went to work, everything was fine until half way through my shift. it didnt really effect me, but them saying "oh, fun's over.. [my name]'s in a bad mood again.. everyone get away" keeps playing in my mind. it didnt affect me then, so i dont know why i keep thinking about it
i just want to fit on my roof and look at the moon, but its been rising really early so i dont think ill be able to see it now. ill watch some livestreams from space of the earth/the moon instead. something to comfort me while listening to music. i havent been able to watch any videos all the way through recently.. havent even been able to watch those gaming streams i like. hopefully ill feel better before i go to sleep
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deathbxnny · 10 months
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Hi there! So i hope you dont mind me dropping an IB x HSR idea
So as you know, Ib and Gary’s lives were linked to their respective rose when they got in the painting world, if all the petals fall, they die. Now from the video i watched about IB, the color of roses the characters had symbolism that fit their respective characters. This got me thinking on what color of roses would Seele, Bronya, Gepard, and Serval would have.
And uh finding color meaning and all turns out to be so confusing since their meaning can sometimes be different from website to website that an idea just got born out of my confusion, what if their flowers arent roses but different kind of flowers?
So here are the results from my many google searches (i’ll also add the rose color i had found earlier)
Gepard:
Gladiolus: Strength of Character, Faithfulness, Moral Integrity, and Remembrance
Purple roses: Royalty, Adoration, and Protection (So in one website, it is said that purple roses also represent protection but i dont see that in other websites but i had decided to have him have this as his rose color since idk what else to give him)
Serval:
Black Iris: Pride and Self-Confidence, Rebellion, Hatred or Tragedy, and Mourning (if you played serval companion quest, the three last words will make sense)
Orange roses: Enthusiasm, Fascination, Energy, Excitement and Desire
Bronya:
Purple Carnations: Leadership, Royalty, and Nobility
Pink Roses: Elegance, Feminity, Refinement and Sweetness
Seele:
(I honestly gave up since none of the flower meanings i looked fit her)
Blue roses: Mystery and Illusion
Again, i might’ve gotten some meaning wrong due to said flower meaning can be differ between website to website, so sorry for that
Hope you’re doing well and had a good day/night though!
- Flower Anon 🌸
-----♡
I'll definitely try and finally start planning out my series for this soon, because I'm genuinely so into the idea, especially after reading this! I absolutely love the time and dedication you put into it and appreciate it greatly! I really think they all fit the characters. I might find something for Seele later too, if I decide to include the idea, with your permission ofc!<33
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!<3
-----♡
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polyboros · 11 months
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You mentioned needing to figure out their TotK outfits, so what do you have for their BotW outfits? And what was their awakening like?
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current outfit sketches! numbers are shorthand, because i think the way that botw link's aspects would split are wildly different from fs link's (i will get into this in a sec!) if i HAD to assign rough fs assignments, it's vio -> blue -> (???) -> green in that order (there's no good red stand-in - i don't think botw link is Built Like That)
my concept for their awakening is liable to change, but i've settled pretty comfortably on the concept that instead of a separate four sword, link was put in the shrine of resurrection with the master sword - and fi went, hey, it's been a hundred years and all your companions are dead, and i haven't been able to heal either, this is a problem. so she expends the last of her energy to split link into four, as it was in old legends she didn't quite witness - that way link wouldn't be alone on his journey. it works, mostly. has some side effects (hi, shadow) & i think a lot of the four swords shit has otherwise integrated itself in here, so it isn't solely for link's loneliness (the vestiges of hylia probably gave it a nudge) but. fi cares. anyways link wakes up in the shrine of resurrection and there is Four Of Him (old man vc hey. i need to make more paragliders)
here's my original concept sketches as to how each link shakes out
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which basically splits them into a two-way dichotomy of past-present, wherein like. two is present-present, where both their personality and motivation is formed by their present circumstances, and three would be present-past, where their personality is shaped by their original one but their motivation is not their duty to the princess/hyrule but rather the world itself for the sake of it. one is past-past, four is past-present. you know how it goes. like i said before, i felt like botw link splitting is different because he has a different thing he needs to learn from the experience? and he's a different person from fs link - considerably more mature, and also considerably more repressed (HI, SHADOW. dont even fuckin worry about it). the tone is different but the silliness remains. they name themselves after random objects they find in the wild rather than colors
back to the totk outfit thing: my only concrete ideas so far is that one (stick) is a dinraal outfit type of guy, while i think three (bee) would fit really well with the mystic headpiece (but coordinating that with the rest of a fitting outfit might be difficult). i spent a lot of time tonight just gathering outfit pieces from around the map to start testing shit out but theres so much fashion souls
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sssrha · 3 years
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transcription of slides under the cut:
[SLIDE 1] the vibes ao3’s top 9 mdzs ships give me (a really stupid thing i made on a lazy saturday)
[SLIDE 2] wangxian: the wholesome canon relationship (with a hint of spice)
ok maybe calling the union between a demonic cultivator and a secret sex fiend “wholesome” isnt exactly accurate…but that’s where the “hint of spice” comes in
other than that tho? i remember seeing a meme somewhere about wangxian and sangcheng and wangxian was described as “domestic gays with a house and a white picket fence and two kids” and honestly? yes 
not that they cant be freaky. id say their particular brand of freakiness is vaguely surrealist suburban horror. make of that what you will
[SLIDE 3] xicheng: either its “pair the spares” or just about trauma
their dynamic is 500% “karen/enabling husband” but like in a good way
objectively the best-dressed couple you will ever meet. like seriously why are you even trying? theyve got you beat
jc would own a flower shop and punch you in the face for saying a single bad thing about his flowers. lxc would own a tattoo parlor and hand you a lollipop and tell you how proud he is of you for not crying while he gave you a tattoo
they dont strike me as a “every evening we relax and watch the sunset” type of relationship B U T every other week they go stargazing with a detailed map of the night sky
[SLIDE 4] xiyao: either a) the angst of betraying/being betrayed or b) the angst of killing/being killed
high society gays. they would both unironically wear tuxedos to a mcdonalds. lxc would see it as a fun couples thing and jgy would do it to assert his dominance
i swear they would be among the smiliest of the major couples. only one of them would give you a happy smile
dont mess with them. no like dont mess with any of the couples but so far jgy is the first one who would make your life living hell and keep you around long enough to suffer the consequences
[SLIDE 5] sangcheng: being simultaneously over- and underestimated
i saw a meme about sangcheng and wangxian where sangcheng was described as something along the lines of “wine aunt and vodka uncle” and honestly? yes
they’re both human disasters. nhs would have various splotches of color on his clothes and you cant tell if it was intentional or if theyre actually stains. jc is very neat and organized but will have a mental breakdown at the slightest inconvenience
sometimes they just sit down across from each other and. cry. its how they bond
idk why it popped into my head but they’re both ace Because I Said So
[SLIDE 6] xuexiao: cute domesticity but also murder
i refuse to believe that xy is anything but unhinged in every universe. whether or not thats a good thing is up to you
xy could and would murder you in your sleep and not feel bad about it until xxc told him off. even then he might still decide it was worth it
xxc doesnt exactly know about The Murder Stuff(TM) but he knows some shit is off but he trusts xy enough to not comment on it
they would meet and hook up in a bar and mutually decide that they may as well stay together for the rest of their lives the next morning
[SLIDE 7] xuanli: the token straights (but also? theyre really cute???)
i did not expect them to be as cute as they were but here i am
anyway jyl has jzxuan wrapped around her little finger and shes just too nice to use that to her advantage
if jyl asked jzxuan for some chocolate jzxuan would just buy her the entire hershey company and forget to give her an actual chocolate bar and jyl is too sweet to actually say anything about it
they would definitely have like 20 children. theyd fucking love being parents. the moment having another child became dangerous theyd start adopting left and right. theyre rich they can afford it and their hearts are big enough for all their kids so why would they not?
[SLIDE 8] songxiao: childhood friends to lovers AND perfect power couple
i know they have more nuance than this but i cant help but think of them as The Perfect Couple(TM)
not shipping-wise!! i mean like. theyre both law-abiding citizens. their house looks like a model house. theyre dressed super neat and handsomely. they both know cpr and first aid and one of them is a lawyer and the other is an award winning writer. idk who is who but yk.
they are who people call to deal with problems instead of the police and they delight in that fact. that is what i mean by them being The Perfect Couple(TM)
[SLIDE 9] chengxian: disasters through and through
uhh i am going to be spending the entirety of this slide ignoring the fact that i personally consider them siblings
they would live in a dingy studio apartment in the heart of a city and theyd both never be home
theyre both super fucking rich but theyd never have any money on hand so dont be surprised if they just starve out on the street one day because theyre just that stupid
they collectively have the self esteem of rotting cabbage but theyre keeping themselves and each other alive purely out of spite and sheer force of will
[SLIDES 10] nielan: childhood friends to lovers AND himbo power couple
psst heres a secret: neither of them are actually himbos
H O W E V E R they both 500% pretend they are. they intentionally act as stupid as possible just for the fun of it
the best part is when they stop acting stupid when something important happens. crouching-moron-hidden-badass at its finest
also the older brother energy is overflowing. it does not matter who you are or how old you are. if you meet them then youre going to walk away with two new big brothers
[SLIDES 11] the end (unless i gather the willpower to make a part 2)
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etherrreal · 3 years
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“the things you do for charity”
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Pairing: kenma x gn!reader Genre: fluff Summary: kenma's always been a private person, but it was getting increasingly harder to keep his partner off his streams while you live together; so, he decided to join his two loves together for a 24-hour charity stream extravaganza. Word Count: 3,408 Warnings: some swearing, i suppose there are some spoilers from the manga about adult kenma's job? A/N: i'd give my left tit to play some minecraft or mario kart with kenma tbh -Luna
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Kenma's career as a popular streamer was one of the many facets of him that shocked you when you’d started dating two years ago. The two of you had first met in an Animal Crossing discord for your city meant for trading and making friends.
After you had gone over to his island to adopt Raymond from him, he let you keep all of your Nook Mile Tickets with the stipulation that you kept in contact with him to "give him updates" about how the cat villager was doing in his new home. His dorky way of trying to flirt with you was what made you pursue him in the first place, and somehow it had led to a very fulfilling relationship.
It was revealed early on that he was a streamer, but he never expanded on it regarding the actual numbers. Curiosity got the best of you one night, and you decided to google him. Besides also learning that he was a YouTuber, you found yourself in awe at the numbers he managed to accumulate across all of his social media.
And if that wasn’t enough, he was also apparently the CEO of his own business.
Once you moved in together around the one-year mark of your relationship, you got to properly witness the amount of work put into streaming and maintaining a social media presence. This also meant that you got to read the wild comments that were left on all of his platforms–and see the occasional surprise nude picture whenever he opened up his DMs around you.
Because of this, Kenma sat you down to have a conversation about your potential appearance on his social media. You both decided by the end of it that his audience would get to know that he was in a committed relationship, but you agreed it would be best to not show your face or reveal any identifying information of yours.
It had been a year since having that conversation, and you’d both stuck to the agreement closely. The most his audience had ever seen of you was your hand whenever you refilled his water bottle for him.
Of course, it was hard sometimes, especially when you had to remain extra quiet around the house and refrain from yelling out a 'baaaabe' whenever you needed something from him, but since he had his own soundproof office, it lessened the room for any accidental error.
Overall, you were content with never showing your face to his audience for the rest of his career. You knew how nasty the internet could get because of their parasocial relationships with influencers and streamers alike, especially when they discovered those influencers and streamers had a partner who wasn't them, even if they knew they never had a chance. You weren't sure your skin was thick enough to deal with rabid angry stans.
Which is why it was so shocking when Kenma decided one day to nix the agreement.
You were in your shared bedroom answering some emails when he came in. He was dressed in a baggy hoodie, sweats, and tied-up hair; his typical look for a stream.
After some time, you noticed that he was still standing in the doorway, not saying anything. When you glanced up at him, you found him awkwardly toying with the strands of hair that had fallen out of his bun, looking down at the ground like he was just waiting for you to notice him.
"Is there something you need, baby?" you asked. "You're just standing there all adorably shy."
"Yeah, so, um, I'm going to be doing a 24-hour stream this weekend to raise money for charity."
"Oh, really? Cool! I guess that means I'll be going to bed alone that night," you joked.
"Yeah, I guess. Um..." He started before scrunching up his face like he was uncomfortable with what he planned to say next.
"What is it? Do you need me to stock up on snacks and energy drinks? Just send me a list. I can pick  them up tomorrow."
"No, that's not it. I was thinking of making a stretch goal be you coming on stream so we can play Minecraft or Mario Kart or something...I mean, I totally understand if you don't feel comfortable. I could always replace it with something else. I know they've been wanting to see me dye my hair a bright color and dress up like an e-boy, so--"
"Really!?" you nearly yelled.
"What? That they want me to dress like an e-boy? Yeah, Kuroo said it would–"
"No, I mean..." You tried to fight the confused expression that was growing on your face, but your squinted eyes gave you away. "You really want me on your stream? Like face and all?"
"....Yeah, I really want to be able to share this with you. But don't feel like you have to do it just to make me happy."
It was a large ask when looking at the full picture. Kenma had his fair share of fans and "stans" who lacked boundaries, as seen from a select few who visited your home several times this year, or the handful that found you on social media already just from seeing a glimpse of your college ring on the hand wrapped around Kenma's water bottle.
There could be a chance you could receive direct hate on your social media just because you were a person who dated a popular streamer. You would then be in the public eye with little privacy and have a magnifying glass on all of your actions and words. Anything you did would then reflect on Kenma.
What if you messed something up and then Kenma lost viewers? Would they try to cancel you or him for it?
You backed away from all the negative thoughts before you could spiral and looked at the metaphorical 'pro' column.
If you agreed to appear on his stream, you would no longer have to sneak around your house in fear of being heard or showing up in his face cam. You both wouldn't have to feel guilty playing games off-camera with each other because you knew Kenma could be streaming it instead.
And who knew? Maybe his fans would like you. You had to admit, it would be a nice ego boost knowing that you were accepted by so many people.
And, most importantly: you could physically ask him in person what he wanted for dinner instead of texting him and waiting an hour for a break so he could respond, while you sat in the next room, starving, stuck in an endless cycle of wondering whether you should make a snack or if you should just hold off for dinner.
Maybe this was a good idea.
"Okay,” you decided, “I'll do it."
"Oh... alright. Cool." Kenma was trying his hardest not to show how excited he was that you agreed. When he saw the contemplative look on your face, he was sure you would decide that it'd just be too much work and say no. But hearing you agree made him giddier than he would ever admit to.
Despite the cool and collected façade he thought he was putting on, you saw the smile that threatened to break through and the red tips of his ears. You wondered if he felt the same weight being lifted off his shoulders as you did, knowing that, after this weekend, you'd both be finally out as an official couple to the world.
And, of course, the nausea of having to do all of it live in front of thousands of people. No biggie.
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Saturday afternoon came and at 12pm sharp, Kenma began his grueling 24-hour charity stream. The bar had an overall goal of $150,000, and it began filling up at a constant pace right from the start. Donations ranging from $5 to $500 were flowing in rapidly, and you were trying your best not to feel nervous.
You both agreed that if he reached $50,000 within 5 hours, you would join him for an hour or two of Minecraft later that night. Part of you hoped that the donations would slow down and plateau for a bit, but when you saw Kuroo had donated $1000, specifically with the message that he hoped to see you on stream soon, you realized that it was a pipe dream.
So, you had to be your own hype person for now, to get prepared to show your face to thousands of people and not disappoint Kenma.
Whether it was the promise of your face reveal or the people who genuinely adored charity, it took only four hours for Kenma to break $50,000.
When he saw the number update live on stream, the viewers witnessed the most amount of expression Kenma had ever shown: eyes wide as saucers, mouth slightly agape, body frozen. You could see the gears struggling inside his head struggling to turn and comprehend what they all managed to do so early on in the stream.
"Thanks so much, everyone, for being so generous today... I guess this means we'll be having my partner on later tonight," he announced. You watched his chat explode with excitement, his special emotes flying in the chat.
You picked up your phone to shoot Kenma a quick text.
[you]:: hope you're ready to put our minecraft beds together in front of thousands of people 😏
Unsurprisingly, he left you on read. But dating him for this long meant you weren't even a little bit afraid of double or triple texting.
[you]:: maybe we can kiss under the light of an exploding creeper 😫
[you]:: or have a romantic walk through our rainbow sheep while a phantom looms overhead 🥰
It was after the third text when you finally saw him pick up his phone to text you back. You eagerly awaited his response, only to cackle when you read it.
[my sugar daddy]:: im going to replace you with hinata as my partner if you dont stop
Instead of annoying him any further, you set your phone to charge on your nightstand and went into the bathroom to get ready for the stream later.
Once you emerged, you picked up your phone to check the percentage and noticed a text from Kenma stating that he'd have you on at 8pm. You decided to spend the time until then cooking up some dinner for the both of you.
It seemed like time flew by because by the time you were done eating your food, it was 7:45pm. Only fifteen more minutes before you were live in front of all of Kenma's supporters. You refilled your water bottle and sat on the couch, staring at the blank T.V. as you practically dissociated from reality until Kenma came out of his office to retrieve you.
You noticed that he looked just as nervous as you did, despite his face not showing it the way yours did. His shoulders were up to his ears with tension, and his hoodie drawstring was pulled almost all the way through due to him fiddling with it.
He turned briefly to you after he brought you into his office, gesturing to make sure you knew to wait until he gave you the cue. He sat down, unmuted himself, and took down the 'away' screen he had for his audience.
This was it. Everything was going to change in literally ten seconds.
"Well, everyone...please welcome my partner, (Y/N)."
You walked cautiously around his large gaming chair and sat next to him in your modest desk chair that he had rolled into the room for the occasion.
Okay, you thought to yourself, now don't fuck this up.
"Hi, everyone."
Nailed it.
There was a painful moment of silence before the stream finally caught up, and you both heaved a sigh of relief when you saw nothing but declarations of excitement. Amongst the 'AHHHs' and spam of emotes were sweet comments about your appearance and how cute you two looked as a couple. You peeked over at Kenma and saw the ghost of a smile on his lips, elated to know that he was just as relieved as you were.
"Okay, let's start with the gameplay while we answer some questions," he said.
The questions and gameplay started out mild; when did you both start dating, how did you meet, who asked the other out first. They even asked a few simple questions about you specifically, like your favorite anime and your star sign. And while you did see a few bans in the chat after some inappropriate questions –no, you will not tell them the color of your underwear– most were easy and simple enough to answer.
Then they started to get a bit spicier.
"Bokutoslefttit donated $69.69 and asked, 'what is your main pet peeve with Kenma?'" he read, muttering a 'wow' under his breath at the username.
"Ooh, how can I be polite when exposing you?" you pondered while beating a cow to death with your sword. "It's probably how loud he gets whenever he's playing games with his good headphones on."
"I don't get loud," he defended.
"Oh yeah, you do. I've had to come in here several times to tell you to shut up like I'm your mother. I did it literally two days ago when you were playing with Lev."
"... Next question."
You rolled your eyes at his lack of comment but glanced over at the chat to pull up a new question. You stifled a laugh when you read, "Girlboss420 asked 'who has a fatter ass, Kuroo or (Y/N)?'"
"I'm not answering that."
"Come oooon, this is a Q&A. Can't have the Q’s without the A’s."
"Nope."
You were about to start reprimanding him for implying that Kuroo's ass was fatter than yours when you noticed he ran past you with a group of pillagers following closely behind. You turned to head into the house but when you opened the door, you noticed it was blocked off by obsidian.
"You are the absolute worst!" you exclaimed.
You made a break for it, sprinting past the shooting pillagers and around to the front of the house. You made it inside with only 2 hearts to spare. You turned, in real life, to Kenma to see him tight-lipped to avoid smiling about his betrayal.
"I'm moving my bed downstairs for the rest of the stream."
You both carried on with the stream without another incident, turning to the chat every now and again to answer some questions. Kenma even apologized to you by bringing home a horse that was named "I'm sorry."
It was about an hour and a half after you sat down when Kenma decided that he needed a bathroom break. Your heart fell to your ass when you realized that you'd be all alone to entertain his chat. You considered saying that you needed to pee as well, if it meant not having the spotlight on you.
Instead, when he got up to pee, you smiled and asked him to bring you back a snack and a refill. Oh, how the turns have tabled.
In the meantime, you decided to scroll through the chat and some of the donations to pick out another question to answer since Kenma was gone. You were initially looking for a funny or vulgar comment when you saw one that had a completely different vibe.
"Kermithateblog donated $25.00 and asked, 'what's your favorite part about being with Kenma?' Wow, that's a really sweet question. Let me think for a moment."
You paused to reflect on your relationship with Kenma over the two years you’d been together. You'd had your fair share of highs and lows like any other couple, but, in the end, you both learned how to work things out so you were both equally as happy in the relationship.
"So, as you guys know, he's a busy boy with streaming, creating content for YouTube, and also being a CEO of his own company, which all takes up the majority of his time," you began. "But when he finally can shut off his screens and crawls into bed late at night, I know that he's 100% there with me at that moment. He is able to give me his undivided attention and make me feel like his love for me comes above his love for gaming."
You gave a pause, trying not to get too emotional. You rarely got the chance to gush about Kenma because you knew how much he hated having attention on him, so if this was going to be your only opportunity to do so for a while, then you were going to take it.
"What y'all don't know is that he is the biggest baby when it comes to cuddling," you laughed. "He is absolutely the little spoon most of the time, and he loves when I stroke his hair and love on him all night. In a weird way, it makes me feel special and loved knowing that he trusts me enough to be vulnerable with me. I cherish the amount of time we have together because of that."
What you didn't know was that he had come back from refilling your water bottle rather quickly and stood outside the doorway to hear your speech. His heart almost burst when he heard your tender words describing how he made you feel. He knew that you rarely got to hear how much those quiet moments at night meant to him because he was guarded with his feelings.
Which is why he started into the room on a mission.
You smiled as soon as you saw him. "Welcome back, babe, we were just talking about--"
He approached you swiftly and leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. You hardly even got to bask in the moment before he was pulling away, setting down your water bottle as he sat back down with his controller in hand like he didn't just expose to his audience how much of a softy he really was.
It was in that moment when you realized how glad you were that you’d decided to appear on stream because you'd be able to look back at that clip over and over again to relive the intimate moment.
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Noon on Sunday came at last. Kenma would finally be free from the prison of his office. Not to mention he could finally get off his ass and stretch.
Between your official appearance on stream and the sign-off, you popped in a few more times to say hello to the chat when you brought him some snacks and drinks. You stayed up through most of the night, although you accidentally napped for a few hours during the dead of night which gave you a little boost in energy.
In the end, the stream was a monumental success. Kenma had even managed to blow past his goal of $150k and make it to over $200k, which meant that he'd be getting the full e-body makeover for his next week of streams.
By the time Kenma came into your bedroom after freshening up and having a small snack, you were already dead asleep with your laptop propped open to show his now offline stream.
He tip-toed around the bed quietly, closed your laptop, pulled the covers up and over your curled-up body, and slipped in himself. As he settled, he felt you shift and grab at his worn t-shirt, opening your eyes slightly just to confirm that it's him.
He pulled you against his chest tightly, his body finally able to relax. He was sure it wouldn't be too long before he completely fell out.
"That was more fun than I thought it'd be," he heard you utter quietly.
"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." His fingers gently danced across your shoulder blades as you mushed your face into his clean shirt. "I can't believe we raised so much today so quickly."
"I'm so proud of you, baby. You worked so hard on this."
"I also donated $2000 anonymously to speed up the process," he mumbled sheepishly, pressing a gentle kiss on the crown of your head in hopes to lessen the blow of his secret.
It was quiet for a moment, and he wondered if he’d genuinely pissed you off before he felt the vibrations from your laugh against his chest.
"...I can't wait to ruin your hair, e-boy."
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Written by: Luna
433 notes · View notes
silversatoru · 3 years
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Hello! I wanted to request for a chubby reader x Levi oneshot. I feel like there aren’t many stories that have chubby readers ): As for the storyline, I’m not sure if it falls in the angst or hurt/comfort category. It would be the reader feeling insecure about themselves because they have a harder time training than the others (them blaming it on their own weight) and seeing how everyone is much thinner than them, they start avoiding food. To not make it look suspicious, they’d go into the kitchen alone and put the food away along with the left overs. The reader would act normal with Levi and he doesn’t suspect anything at first. Later on, the reader would push themselves harder to the point where they’d train on their own whenever they had to chance so they can lose weight and improve their training. At this point, Levi starts noticing the reader looking paler than usual and the slight difference in their weight. One day during training, the reader ends up fainting from exhaustion and dehydration. They wake up on Levis’s bed with him looking over them. He asks what happened and the reader lies by saying they didn’t drink enough water. Levi calls it bs and ask if they think he’s stupid and goes on to tell them about how they noticed the reader sneaking off into the kitchen with a plate and coming out without it. He didn’t think anything of it at first, but he started putting the pieces together. They end up telling Levi the truth, the way they feel towards themself and how they don’t like the fact that they’re bigger than Levi. He comforts the reader and lets them know that they’re an idiot for thinking that way, etc. Thank you! I’m so sorry if it sounds so cheesy!
hello dear!! i dont think your idea was cheesy at all, i love it actually. these kind of issues live very close to my heart, so writing about them is always really fun for me. that being said,, this fic definitely got very dark and very real, and i would advise everyone to read the warnings before deciding to read this <33
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levi ackerman x gn!reader
synopsis: levi catches you skipping meals and does what he can to help
tags/warnings: eating disorder, skipping meals, hurt/comfort, but it does have a happy ending! 
word count: 2.2k 
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Throbbing headaches and hollow, gnawing pains in your stomach — they’ve quickly become your new normal. You see everything through a hazy fog these days, nothing feels real and everything hurts but it’s worth it — that’s what you keep saying to yourself. You’re tired of lacking the same agility, momentum, and grace that your thinner counterparts have. 
Your weight was always something that ate away at the back of your head, but joining the scout regiment multiplied it tenfold. You were constantly working twice as hard as your fellow scouts, and it seemed like it was never enough. Everyone around you was not only ridiculously athletic, but so fucking thin. You didn’t hate your comrades for their bodies and the way they were born, but you made up for it by inflicting all of the hate onto yourself.
You wonder if anyone notices your zombie eyes or the abnormal paleness to your face — god, you hope they don’t. The last thing you want to do is have to confront your feelings and admit what you’ve been doing lately. Every night you shamefully sneak back into the kitchen and pour your plate of food into the large pot of leftovers. You pick at food here and there when your friends are watching, but behind closed doors you haven’t eaten much of anything lately. Your body is running on empty, and it’s only a matter of time before it fully catches up to you. 
You hear your last name echo from across the training fields, slowly turning around to see an angry captain sulking towards you. His face was twisted into an unpleasant grimace, his eyebrows knitted together into what almost looked like concern. 
“I’m excusing you from the remainder of training, leave,” his words were flat, but there was a subtle emotional edge. 
“Sorry, what?” you gave him a confused look — Captain Levi never excused anyone from training, not unless they were practically on their deathbed. 
“Go home, and eat a big dinner tonight, your energy has been less than adequate lately,” his face softened slightly, “I expect you to be back to normal by tomorrow. Your skills and abilities are needed here, so go get some rest and be better tomorrow, yeah?”
“But, I-,” you stammered, trying to come up with some kind of valid excuse. 
“That’s an order, cadet”. 
His words surprised you, and before you could even rack your brain for an appropriate way to respond, he was turned on his heels and walking away. You swallowed thickly, your throat dry and stuffed full with anxiety. 
Reluctantly, you followed his orders and made your way back to the Scout’s base early. You grabbed a stack of fresh clothing from your room before heading to the showers and scrubbing yourself free of all the sweat and grime from training. You were careful to avoid mirrors when you navigated bathrooms, and tonight was no exception, your eyes glued to the tiled floor. After showering, you hesitantly walked to the kitchen, preparing a plate of food and bringing it back to your room.
That food stared you in the eyes for hours, taunting you and teasing you and making intense nausea creep up your spine.  Tears were stinging the backs of your eyes and your lungs were shaking with heavy, anxiety-filled breaths. You couldn't do it, and you were overwhelmed with shame and guilt. If you couldn’t do it for Levi, you were hopeless that you’d be able to do it for anyone, never mind for yourself. 
After making countless pitiful attempts to take a bite of your untouched meal, you decided it was going back into the leftover pot — just like everything else. The other scouts should have returned and been sleeping by now anyway, you’d just silently creep down the hallway, dump the food, and creep back, no harm no foul. 
Except for that a certain short, dark-haired captain was standing at the end of the hallway — you didn't notice him, but he certainly noticed you. A boiling anger rippled up inside him as he felt an overwhelming disappointment in your actions. He’d been suspecting this kind of behavior for a while now, but watching you tip-toe down the hall and into the kitchen with an uneaten plate of food confirmed all of his suspicions. 
You could barely crawl out of bed the next morning, your ribs aching and your head pounding with a dull pain. You grasped at your tall dresser, catching your balance as you dangerously swayed back and forth for a few seconds. After regaining consciousness and stability you carefully changed into your uniform, having to stop and take breaks every few seconds because you were running out of breath. Your body felt utterly devoid of any kind of energy, and you wondered — when was the last time I actually ate something? 
It was far enough back that you couldn’t quite remember, maybe a few days at this point, you really weren’t sure anymore. You’d have to suck it up for training though, because the last thing you wanted was to be confronted by the captain again. 
You chugged back a full glass of water before lacing up your boots and throwing on a convincing facade. People don’t seem to notice something is wrong as long as you're smiling, laughing, and going along with what they say — it’s easy enough to fly under the radar of your fellow scouts. 
Levi’s radar is a little sharper though, and he keeps a close eye on you from the second you walk up to the training grounds. He’s disappointed in your hand to hand combat — it’s sloppy, slow, predictable. Your hands look shaky too, and maybe it's the light playing tricks on him but it looks like the color is draining from your face. 
Things are feeling deplorable on your side — you can barely stand anymore, never mind throw punches or avoid the oncoming attacks. Your vision was starting to tunnel, foggy black surrounding your periphery as you began to lose feeling in your fingertips. You tried desperately to cling onto whatever semblance of consciousness you had left, but failed miserably, your body collapsing to the hard earth beneath you. 
The soft glow of warm candles illuminated the walls around you when you finally woke up from the earlier incident. This wasn’t your room, where the hell were you? You uncomfortably shifted to the side and flinched when you saw your captain sitting in a chair in front of you. His arms were crossed and one of his legs was propped on top of the other, an icey look in his eyes.
“What happened today?” His words were very short and his tone was flooded with irritation — he didn’t even give you a chance to take in your surroundings.
“Ah- I didn’t sleep well last night,” you lied, “And maybe I haven’t been drinking enough water or something”. 
“I’m offended that you think I would fall for such a pitiful lie,” He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth, “I saw you sneak into the kitchen last night, how long have you been doing that?” 
Your eyes grew wide with anxiety, your heart abruptly dropping to the floor — you made sure to go extra late last night, why the hell was he still up?
You stayed quiet for a moment, pondering over how honest you should be with Levi right now. The two of you had always been a little closer than he was with the other scouts, but unfortunately there was no room for things like love in this world. You also assumed that maybe he never reciprocated your feelings because of your weight — but that was just more toxic fuel to the fire blossoming in your head. 
“Pretty long,” you sighed, ultimately deciding to be fully honest with him, because knowing Levi, he’d continue to see right through your lies anyway. 
“I figured,” He grumbled, uncrossing his legs and leaning back into his chair, “Why?” 
“Everyone around me is thin, I stick out. And, I’m not as agile or flexible as the other scouts either. I just thought that maybe...,” you bit down hard on your bottom lip, rolling onto your back so you wouldn’t have to look at him, “I thought my weight bothered you too, and also that I’d be more useful to the scouts if I was skinnier”. 
“You think I’d like you better if you were dead?” Levi was leaning closer now, heat boiling in his eyes, “Because that’s where you’re headed right now. If you truly think you’ll be more helpful to the scouts when you’re six feet under, you’re delusional. And who the hell gave you the idea that your weight bothered me?”
His harsh words were cold slap in the face, your eyes burning and threatening to spill over with tears. You didn’t want to die, not really, you just didn’t want to hate yourself anymore. 
“No one! I don’t know, I just thought, maybe because I was bigger than you-,” You continued to stammer over your words, tears beginning to leak down your cheeks. 
“It doesn’t matter,” he waved you off, not wanting to push the issue further, “You’re wrong, and I’m hurt that you’d even think that. I’ve never once thought that you were anything other than the way you should be”.
“I’m sorry,” your voice was weak and shaky, but your heart was pounding against your chest at his words. 
“I’m not the person you should be apologizing to, that’s something you owe to yourself” he shook his head and stood up to retrieve two small bowls of food from a nearby table, “I brought you something to eat”.
You watched him intently, pondering over his words about apologizing to yourself.
“It’s only a bowl of soup, so you can start small, yeah?” He offered one of the bowls to you, which you hesitantly took into your hands as you sat up. 
He sat down again across from you again, leaning back and taking a sip of broth from his bowl. You were grateful that he was here, that he was eating with you — it made things a little easier. You grasped the spoon in your hands and scooped up some brothy vegetables before lifting them into your mouth. 
“Good, finish the bowl,” nodded at you, giving you a reassuring look and lifting his own bowl to his lips again. 
The two of you ate in silence until you were finished, and then he sat the bowls back on his nightstand before finding a seat next to you on his bed. 
“Stay here tonight,” he stared at you with his signature tired eyes, but there were hints of concern laced through them now, “We’ll have breakfast together in the morning”. 
“Okay,” you gave him a weak nod, trying desperately to bottle up your growing emotions, but they were becoming too much to bear. 
Small sobs began to rack through your body, your chest tightening and your stomach lurching with anxiety. You were experiencing so many feelings tonight — eating for the first time in days and being here with Levi, it was overwhelming to say the least. 
You could barely see the captain through your blurry vision, but you could feel his arms maneuver themselves around you and pull you against his chest. You stayed like that for a while, Levi’s arms delicately holding you in place while quiet sobs worked their way out of your lips. 
“You’ve dug yourself into a deep hole, I won’t lie to you,” you heard him let out a tired sigh, “And it’s gonna take time and effort for you to dig your way out, but you’ll get there. We’ll start by having breakfast and dinner together every night, how does that sound? Just you and me, no one else has to watch”. 
You nuzzled a tiny nod into his chest, your tears finally running dry. It was a terrifying thought, eating normal again, but you were starting to feel hopeful that you might actually be able to do it. 
And so the two of you met every morning and every evening for your scheduled meals, and day by day things began to get easier. You even found yourself staying over in Levi’s room after dinner and into the morning for breakfast sometimes. Spending so much time together was definitely pushing the two of you to address the feelings you’d been hiding for so long. 
But not everything was perfect, it would be irrational to think it would be. You still have bad nights, where eating is so hard you break down into tears, and where you want nothing more than to rid yourself of the food in your system. It’s a draining process, but Levi works hard to make sure you stay on track with your progress. 
It’s slow, but eventually your face starts to glow again, your skin gets smooth and soft, and the aching pains in your body start to fade. Your war with your body is far from over, but you’re doing what you can, and you’re healing yourself one day at a time.
thank u for reading this, and now i would like to give you a gentle reminder to do something nice for your body today. eating disorders and mental illnesses are huge mountains to climb over, but taking things one day at a time makes it a little easier. try and eat a meal today (even if it’s small), go to sleep early and get some rest, take a shower and rub lotion all over your legs so they feel nice against your blankets when you lay in bed. baby steps are better than no steps at all, so be patient with yourself. n go drink some water, ur body loves that shit
336 notes · View notes
icantspeakspanish · 3 years
Text
Being Seijoh‘s queer manager - Headcanons
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Ship: Platonic!Oikawa x Platonic!Reader / Platonic!Iwaizumi x Platonic!Reader / Platonic!Hanamaki x Platonic!Reader / Platonic!Matsukawa x Platonic!Reader
Warnings: actually none. It’s just fluff and maybe the 3rd years flipping of some mean people
masterlist
A/n: I recently can’t stop thinking about headcanons to that, so enjoy I guess🕳🚶
Coming out to them
Oikawa Tooru
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Okay listen
Oikawa pays SO MUCH attention to his friends
Like, if you’re looking at a person longer than u look at other people, this mf will notice that right then and there
Don’t worry, he wont just point that out
Maybe he‘ll drop some dumb comments like the dumb clown he is, but he wont spill anything
Oikawa is going to be more observing
One day you just hang out with him
and this shithead has a fucking plan
I do not kid you when I‘m telling u he has a whole maSTERPLAN??😀
both of you are on your own phone, you scrolling though Instagram liking memes about ur closeted sexuality and laughing inside, I see you
Then Oikawa plays on purpose one song
„Me and your girlfriend playin' dress up at my house..“
You immediately freeze
🎶👹Don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious👹🎶
You literally try so hard to sent a gaze on Oikawas phone without him noticing
LMFAO NOT U FAILING
Anyways
You see in the upper corner of your eye how Oikawa is grinning SO BOLD AT YOU BYE
Brb, just getting a tomato to complain it to your face❤️
Tbh, he wasn’t even sure till you turned red like there ain���t no other choice
You just acted obvious as fU-
Oikawa will deadass laugh at your confused face, but then hug you
„Why didn’t you say anything? I could‘ve get you a significant other so much earlier???“
Slap him pls
After you tell him that you just felt really anxious or something like that, Oikawa will hug you again
He will tell you that he loves you no matter what and that he‘s sure the team will too
Oikawa will absolutely get you like a pride flag to surprise you
He‘s so proud of you and happy you told him🥺
Oikawa will literally look in public out for a partner for u 💀
Put a leash on that piece of crap, or I will
If you’re part of the asexual spectrum, Oikawa will make sure no one is making you uncomfortable and to know your boundaries about jokes, touching, etc.
Will text u things like
„Y/N PLEASE DON‘T TELL ME U DATE THEM?? IS U BLIIIIIIND?????!“
Hit him
„If you have to reject this dipshit one more time, I‘ll let Iwaizumi and Kyiotani go WiLD😐“
Love him
„If you wont make a move on them, I will🤨“
Throw him off a bridge
Oikawa is always going to be there for you, ready to let his fangirls flip off everyone who just looks the wrong way at you
He just loves you and wants u to be happy🥺
HE‘S STILL RUDE ASHSDJDN
Iwaizumi Hajime
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Iwa isn’t suspecting anything
Sure, he cares about you, but he doesn’t care about which gender u love
He doesent think that is any of his business, he just wants u to be happy and treaten well and taken care of
Pls I love him
since Iwaizumi wont suspect anything, you’ll have to make the first move into this conversation.
So when you and Iwa walk home after practice it seems like the perfect time
You don’t know how to start, so you sorta just blurt that shit out
„Iwaizumi?“
„What‘s up?“
„I‘m ____“
„Okay.“
Your legs stop moving
You look at him like 👁👄👁
he be having the audacity to stop walking and ask you what’s wrong
„Did you understand what I just said?“
„Yeah, why?“
Y/n.exe stopped working
„WHY DO YOU JUST SAY „OKAY“ LIKE A FOOL?!“
„EXCUSE ME?“
Iwaizumi.exe crashed too
„What else am I supposed to say?! You’re my friend, I don’t care which gender you having sex with!“
He ain’t good with words I‘m sorry🧑‍🦯
Will ruffle you’re hair and tell you not to worry, he can beat up any gender😩👌
I actually don’t think he‘d ask you questions. He doesen’t want to make you uncomfortable and just googles about it if there’s anything he doesen’t understand. Iwaizumi is actually pretty invested and wants to learn about your sexuality since one of his closest friends just came out to him.
If anyone is being rude to you, Iwaizumi will pop off
If he’s shopping or smth like that and sees something with pride colors / your flag colors, he will buy that and give it to you
Definitely ready to beat up anyone who tries to insult you because of your sexuality
Radiates big protective dad energy and wants to meet your partner before y’all go out
Iwa just wants you to stay safe
10/10 would recommend marriage 💯
Hanamaki Takahiro
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„Are you gay?“
You look pale into his face
„whAT?!“
LMFAO I‘D BE CONFUSED TOO
„Is that a yes?“
„MAKKI!“
I don‘t even know why, but he would definitely know
Not your sexuality EXACTLY, but he knows you ain’t straight
Makki also uses that as an explanation and tells you you didn’t looked hetero from the start
Excuse you-
He‘s just a natural i guess
You tell him then what your actual sexuality is and Hanamaki is so chill about it
Will smile at you and tell you that he‘s proud of you and maybe apologizing for blurting that shit out of the blue
If someone is making you uncomfortable in anyway, Hanamaki will hunt them down to make them apologize
he will sent you some lgbtq+ memes and capture it with „That reminds me of u“
Matsukawa Issei
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Hear me out
He makes jokes often
and since you (as seijohs manager) hang out with them often, both of you joke often
like y’all have some insiders, you give joking answers to his jokes
so when you and Mattsun went out to get drinks, he was joking as usual
„He/she’d be a great fiancé. dont you think?“
U look in the direction he’s pointing and see a friend group who’s chatting
„Naaah. His/her friend looks hotter“
u actually said that without thinking and as soon as you realize u started to blush and look to him
Matsukawa still looks into that direction.
„you’re right, they got that dumptruck“ BYE
„Matsukawa Issei, I knew youre an ass dude!“
pls y’all are so casual
after that he asks you if you meant that and really are interested in this gender
„wait that’s ___, right?“
you nod a bit surprised because you didn’t expect him to know the name of your sexuality
WOULD SENT YOU MEMES TOO AND ASK PEOPLE OUT FOR YOU BYE
Matsukawa looks intimidating like Iwaizumi, but he‘d joke around with your date tbh
but if they’re being shitty to you, Matsukawa won’t hesitate to sent them to hell
as long as they won’t hurt you physically, he will make so mean jokes, always pick a fight with them and is SO sarcastic towards them💀
mattsun also made you a playlist with like pride songs
Going to a Pride parade with them!!
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OIKAWA IS SO EXCITED JABSNFBXB
He will absolutely wear a pride flag and be SO proud
he‘ll tries to make some friends for you so you have some people who‘re like you
hes a dumbass, sorry<\3
when you ask Iwaizumi to come with you and the team, he will firstly act annoyed and like he doesen’t want to go but Oikawa drags him anyway dw
if there’s like rainbow ice he will buy it for you what a sugar daddy
Iwaizumi will act annoyed and bored for most of the time, but as soon as you look two seconds away from him and turn back around, this men has rainbow flags on both of his cheeks🥺
someone also gave him a small pride flag and he’s swinging it since then the entire time GOD I‘M SO DOWN FOR SOFT IWAIZUMI PLEASE
some guys talked to him because they thought he’s 💅🏻 and hot and Oikawa let out a scream BAHAHA
Iwa explained himself so politely tho<3
Hanamaki found SO MANY FRIENDS GOODBYE
ofc he and matsukawa bought this thing with what you can draw those rainbow flags on your cheeks and they put it on Oikawas, yours, Iwaizumis and their own face
actually they have now rainbowflags all over their body because they think they look cool🧚‍♀️
and they will protect you from creeps <3
remember when I said Mattsun made a playlist for you? Oikawa‘s blasting that shit and dancing to it ofc he danced with you duh
after that day, Hanamaki changed y’all’s gc name to „y/n‘s protection squad“
150 notes · View notes
bloodycassian · 3 years
Text
Hellish part 3 - reader x cassian - 
reader reports back to the Queens that she has failed her task of killing Rhysand.
"Stop acting like such a child." Amren scolded. Cassian's death glare towards her was enough to make Rhys tense. "Amren, dont you have a book to read?" Rhys asked. She smiled in a way that showed too many teeth, and would have sent a chill down the high lord's spine if he wasn't so focused on keeping everyone safe. Before she could start a fight, she left. Carrying her wine glass laced with blood with her. Cassian relaxed, finally. "I know you're not likely to forgive me for this. But I sent Azriel to watch over her on the journey back."  And Cass' relaxation was gone. His rage lashed out at Rhys. "What the fuck do you mean 'watch over her'? Shes my mate." His words practically rattled the dishes on the table. The townhome seemed too cramped, like Cass' body was too tight, too hot.  "And you'll kill yourself if you follow her back to the Queens." Rhys said simply, pity there in his eyes. He knew his brother well enough to know that logic would be how to win over this fight. He wondered if that mating bond ran so deep that it would counteract Cassian's strategist mind, though. Cassian snarled, but did not protest. He knew he would in fact give himself over to the Queens if it meant you being safe. He'd do anything to be by your side. He'd barely met you and he thought to sacrifice himself. He couldn't wrap his head around the insanity of it. And on top of it all, you were out to kill his brother. How cruel could the cauldron be?  "Cassian, I need you here. There's powers in play that want to see us fall." Rhys spoke gently to his brother. He squeezed Cassians shoulder and finally brought that tense stare to a stop. His jaw clenched, and Rhys saw the war roiling inside him. The urge to protect, to save, to keep you at his side was eating him alive.  "I'll be in the training ring." Cassian gritted out before leaving. + Your journey back to your masters was long and full of harsh sun that beat down on your skin. After two months of adjusting to Prythian's cooler weather, the abrupt change back to heat felt suffocating. Or maybe the hot feeling inside you was from the fact you'd not only failed your mission, but your mate had been one to help defend your target. You had tried to shove the thought of the male away your entire ride, but it was always there. That tantalizing golden light he radiated in the back of your mind.  "Kill the high lord and as many others as you can." The spell rang through your mind as a way of distraction. And shame. The dread that filled you each hour as you pressed closer was not a welcome distraction from the heat that the bond seared through you. You didn't know the consequences of coming back unsuccessful, but you hoped to the Mother that they would give you another chance. That they were merciful because of the information you brought back. The Queens were not known for their mercy, though. Especially the Crone, queen of them all. The one that held your bargain spell in her bony fingers.  The memory of the old crone cursing you made you sweat in a different way than the heat or the bond did. Nerves bundled deep inside you tingled more and more as you grew closer to the sandstone castle they resided in. The ride took a day just to get past their inner defenses. No guard dared approach you, marked with the black banner of the Queens court. Your horse was struggling by the end of the journey, refusing to gallop any longer. The shadows around you darkened when you dismounted. The sun was beginning to set along the desert and clay hills in the distance. Your heart did not sing of happiness at this reunion. The bond in the back of your mind you tried so hard to ignore seemed to flare with your stress. + The wrinkled face of the old crone reminded you of the old man that had traded you for a few gold marks when you were young. The rest of the queens stood by anxiously, watching. Waiting to see what the punishment would be. The spell compelled you to remain utterly helpless against the guards that shoved you to the floor before her. She tisked in disapproval. "Bring the cauldron, and let us unmake this one. Perhaps we will see what it gives us in return for this sacrifice." Her shrewd voice called. The other queens looked to each other with excitement, their shiny hair bouncing as they hurried to summon guards with the cauldron. You whimpered at the crushing feeling around you. Impending doom being delivered straight to you.  She approached the guards that pointed their spears and swords at you. "The spell acted as a bond, hold her down as soon as she touches the water." she instructed as you were lowered to the Cauldron's edge by three guards. Your mind screamed at you to fight, to tear and thrash and kill the ones that were ready to drown you in the depths of the damned cauldron. Even if your hands weren't bound, you couldnt fight back. The terror settled deep and full in the pit of your stomach. But the spell, the bond that insured your protection against the Queens now served as a leash keeping you from fighting back against them. "A life for a life. Let this death motivate the next contender to kill Rhysand of the Night Court." she made a motion with her hands and turned, going back to the other queens. The guards lowered you, and just as she promised, the magic snapped and you began fighting for your life. They struggled to contain you, but the blade through your thigh speared you down, forcing your legs into the water. Cold like you'd never experienced seeped into your bones through the wound. Your blood did not marr the dark water, it only swallowed the lifeblood that surged from you. You grew faint, and the water reached your knees. You knew it was going to be the end of you. The water swirled and pulled, tugging you deeper. Then, a flash of darkness erupted from you. You though they'd pushed you under. But it was an explosion of shadows that had blinded the entire room. You were ripped from the icy water, something cool grasping you under your arms. Then, swirling darkness took you, panting from behind you indicated you were not alone when you landed in the dark forest. + Cassian's wings ached for the feeling of air beneath him. He guarded Rhys at the meeting with Kier though, keeping a straight face even as he sensed the panic from you. His mind raced with the possiblities of what had happened. If you were safe, if you were even alive. Surely you were alive with the thrills going through the bond. Electrifying, and utterly terrifying.   Rhys then snapped, ending the terse conversation with Kier abruptly. "We must be leaving now. We will continue this later." He gave Kier a wave of his hand and began winnowing. "Stay with me, dont panic." Rhys spoke into Cassians mind. His heart dropped to the floor, face leeched of color at the words. With the first glimpse of the vision the high lord sent Cassian, he began roaring with rage. As soon as they winnowed a few feet from Azriel, he was ordering both his brothers to winnow you again, to Madja.  His speaking was dull, but you could feel it in every part of your being. The low rumble of that voice that spoke to your soul. A small smile spread across your face. "Hey Cass-" You choked, trying to make yourself sound strong. For his sake. You knew he could feel it though, feel that iciness that burned your legs. You shook, unable to move yourself. The cold felt like it was creeping up your entire body. He pulled that bond in his mind to him, close. As if he was wrapping you around his mind for warmth.  Then you saw all the beauty there. The beauty that the spell had refused to let you see. And the urge to kill the high lord was no longer present. It was like a weight lifted from you. You let the tears spill over, grateful that in your last moments you were able to experience this kind of relief.  "No." Cassian growled, yanking on that bond again as you felt darkness creeping in on you like a fog. "You are not dying." Rhys' darkness pulled all of you into the healer's apothecary in the center of Velaris along the coastline. The dark waves outside offered no comfort to any of them. Especially Rhys as he watched his brother lose himself over you.  "Azriel, keep an eye on them." Rhys ordered, noting the way his shadow covered brother seemed to be more pale than usual. The plain exhaustion on his face from winnowing so far was hard to look at.  Cassian shushed and cradled you, not daring to look at your leg or the black splotches that dotted your hands from your fight. He nodded a quick thank you to Azriel when their eyes met. Azriel couldn't spare the energy back, and instead propped himself on a rigid couch in against the far wall. Cassian gently laid you down on the exam table, and waited for his brother to return. + "We can let her die, or we can heal her with the Cauldron's poison still there. We dont know what it will do, but it has infected too far to be reversible." Madja concluded with a heavy sigh. Rhys cursed under his breath.  Cassian's moan of terror wracked his brother's hearts. Madja continued stroking up and down your body with expertise. Cassian pulled at his hair. He wanted you to make the choice. He wanted you here to be able to tell him how the hell this all happened. He needed you, he needed to know everything about you. The tethering force he felt pulling back slightly seemed to tug, and he laughed hysterically.  "The entry wound will heal, but the sickness may kill her eventually." Madja's glowing palms were the only light in the room.  "Fix it. Heal her. Now." Cassian said the words in a low growl. Azriel stared at him, astonished even in his state.  "Cass, if she dies-" Rhys began, concern for his brother's fallout after the potential death. "She wont." the icy glare he gave Rhys made him shut his mouth. He hated seeing his brother so ruined over someone he just met. His mate. He tried to remind himself it wasn't just some female. It was his Feyre. He nodded to Madja, giving her the approval.  "Fix her Madja." The high lord's words were final. + It burned. Your entire body ached and burned and at the same time felt totally cool. The cold chill was eating you alive. You tried to scream, tried to push it away. Tried to run from what consumed you. But it only crept further and further up, until it encapsulated you completely.  Your back ached more than anything. You begged for the end of it. for anything to kill you. You didnt care if it was the Queens or the high lord you were sent to kill. Death would be the only relief from this kind of pain.  "The curse...mixed with Madja's healing created.... it made you... new." Cassian said tentatively. He had practiced it so much, he just didnt know how to tell you when you actually woke. The long nights of rippling pain shared with you suddenly became worth it to him.  You tried to push yourself up, but a heavy weight held you down. "Easy..." He said, a small grim smile gracing his lips. His eyes looked bruised, and swollen. the whites around his eyes were completely red, and his hair was a mess. The room was quiet, and cool. The house was completely open to the elements you realised, and it must have been freezing from the cold wind breezing in. He wore a coat over his tunic and hid his hands inside his pockets. His breath clouded in front of him. "What happened?" You demanded, searching for the bond he clutched so tightly to himself.  "Do you want to see?" He held a hand out to you for support and stabilization. It felt as if you were being pulled, dragged down by something.  He pulled the dark wooden framed mirror from the corner and adjusted it slowly, showing you what lay behind you. You felt your mind leave your body, dizziness overcame you. He caught you before you could fall to your knees before the mirror. He avoided the things.... the gargantuan counterweight on your back. The wings that pulled you down. The dark inky feathers that would have killed you if you were a part of Dawn court still. They shimmered under the faelight like raven's wings. Purple and blue mixing in a perfect darkness, even darker than the Illyrian's.  "Madja thinks it's the curse... mixed with healing. She thinks the cauldron intended to turn you into a beast cursed to follow someone forever in the form of a bird. Like Vassa." The words he spoke were just a faint hum after that. Your mind seemed to float further and further from you the more you stared to the mirror. He helped you up, but you could not be led away from the mirror. You stared and stared at the black wings that your body strained to hold up.  "I can help, if you'd like..." He said softly, knocking you out of your stupor. "If you want to learn, I mean." He nodded to the wings and took a breath, trying to ignore the oily scent the new wings perfumed the air with. It was intoxicating.  You turned slowly, going back to the bed. "Leave me." You muttered, trying to situate yourself comfortably on the pillowy softness.  Cassian's heart sunk. "Let me know if you need anything." He said softly, staring at your unresponsive body for far too long before exiting.  You cried. You let the sobs wrack your body the entire night, not caring how stained the pillows became with the salty tears. You cried until your body had nothing left to give, and at last your mind lulled you into a deep sleep. + Cassian's head ached with the strain of trying to comfort the bond. He was astonished at how you'd kept your shields up even from him throughout the healing. He guessed that the training you possessed was the reason the Queens had made you the perfect assassin for Rhys.  "She'll be okay. She can train with the Illy-" Azriel stopped himself mid sentence when he felt the fury rippling from Cassian. He hated the territorial mood swings he was having, but with the situation at hand he figured it was warranted.  Rhys tapped his fingers on the long table, and picked up a small pawn in the other hand. "Why would they make such a direct attack? And without a bargain? Why use a spell?" He let his questions flow out. It did not soothe Cassian to hear his mate being talked about like just some assassin.  "She wont know. She was under the spell the entire time. I can feel her more now, maybe I can-" Rhys interrupted his brother "Cassian I dont want you anywhere near her more than you have to. We dont know what she's capable of now." Cassian stood so quickly his chair fell, clattering against the stone floor. Azriel tensed, ready to break his brothers up from a fight. "She is my mate, Rhys. if I die by her hands then so be it." His voice was low, and dangerous. Azriel's shadows circled around both of them. Rhys' tired eyes did not leave Cassians. The challenge of two males ready to defend what they believed in. "Dare to order me and see what happens." Cassian said with a snarl, then took a plate of rolls and left the two Illyians.  Azriel sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. His shadows dissipated, following the cracks in the stone house. He knew how bad the fight could have gotten and was relieved the building was still standing. Centuries of disagreements and he'd seen the two level a battlefield for less. He only intervened twice in all of those years. He didn't like to remember either occurrence. "You will keep watch over them?" "I already am." Azriel grumbled, making his way to his room. + The smell of warm buttered rolls was a welcome scent to wake up to. You didn't miss the lingering scent of him there too. You could hardly crack your eyes open, the swelling from the night before was getting better though. You reached back and touched the wings that had kept you burningly warm all night. The sensation was... incredibly sensitive. And when you pulled your hand away, it left your fingertips coated in oil.  "It'll go away after a few months." His voice startled you, but you were too tired to care much about him seeing you in such a messy state. He was supposed to love no matter what, right? That's what a mate was meant to be? Your mate. Mate. You body ached with the longing of needing him close by. "You should eat." He said around a mouthful of food.  "Are you always so pushy?" Your voice was rough, raw from the night of sobbing.  He smiled, and brought over the plate he was picking grapes from. "Only when necessary." He laid the plate on your lap and nodded to the rolls on your side table. "And drink, too." He sauntered back over to his seat at the other side of the room, a healthy distance apart.  You followed his orders though, picking little bites at the fruit and easily having three rolls. Something eased inside you, like a fracture becoming whole again. "How do you manage... with those? How-" You took a sip from your water and tried not to look at him. "How do you just... deal with these?" You unconsciously flared the wings when you thought of them. It was a strange feeling, like flexing a sore muscle.  "You'll learn eventually. It will take time to get used to it." He eyed you wearily, trying not to show his confusion. You felt it anyway.  "These are...upsetting." You admitted, "They are just like my fathers. Before he sold me for food for my mother. He was convinced she was carrying a winged male." You shook your head at the memory of the wrinkled man that had bought you. He included some spoiled corn in the deal. Your father handed you over without another glance back. Your mother didnt have much of a say. "He sounds like a conflicted male." You glared at him, wishing you had the strength to throw one of the rolls at him. He held his hands up at the stare, defending himself. "Not the selling you part, but doing anything for your mother... I understand that, now." He said slowly, testing the waters. "I have no family. I ally with no one. Working with the Queens was a risk I was willing to take, they didn't mention the part about killing a high lord." You picked at the blanket folded over your lap. The room was much colder than you remembered it being before.  He considered the words, and stayed silent. Waiting for you to say more. "When will he kill me?" You asked plainly, trying to not show your nerves.His face blanched. The bond came roaring to the forefront of your mind, burning with anger and guilt. "No one will lay a hand on you. By my life I swear it." He knelt on the floor by your bed and looked you in the eye. The honesty there, the full integrity of his being was flowing from him. You didn't know what exactly made you want to trust him, but it was irresistible. You nodded and took his hand, letting that connection flow through touch. You felt alight with hope soaring. Like a drug, he called to you. His eyes seemed to reflect the same back. The shame burned further until - a spark. An idea that you could almost feel out. "We can hunt him, together. Your father, if that's what you want. Then we can kill the Wueens. I will go with you." "You mean you'd die with me?" You laughed, the dark humor not scaring him a bit. The finality of the words stung deep in your gut when he didn't flinch. He dared not confirm how many times over he would, in fact, die for you. "They call me the lord of bloodshed. We might have a fighting chance once you figure out those wings." He winked, and you smiled for the first time in a long while.
46 notes · View notes
satoruvt · 3 years
Text
for a moment i forget to worry
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pairing → xu minghao x reader
word count → 3196
genre → fluff + angst, college au ↳ tags: strangers to friends to lovers </3, college kinda sux, ROOMMATE CHAN MAKES AN APPEARANCE OR TWO, dance major minghao, reader is completely lost but its ok who isnt, lots of cute couple stuff, pov ur entire relationship with minghao. thats it, a sad break up scene, a solid amount of crying
summary → there’s something about minghao. maybe it’s the way he dances, vibrant and youthful, or maybe it’s the way he loves you. based off of hunger by florence + the machine.
warnings → i hint at sex but its pretty vague, i also mention a breakdown type deal (revolving around school/life after school)
a/n → first of all this was NOT supposed to be 3k words i dont know how it happened. second of all i’m only kind of happy with this HAHA i feel like the story itself isnt bad but i wanted it to match the song more ... idk :/ i hope u guys like it regardless !!!
pieces of you masterlist
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The first time you see him is by accident.
Really - all you’re doing is trying to find Chan. You’re passing by the practice rooms, looking into them in hope he’ll be there, stopping to gaze at decorations and medals and trophies lined up on the walls. It’s when you approach a room that music plays from that you think you’ve found Chan, but when you gaze in, it’s definitely not him.
You don’t know who it is, but he moves like nothing you’ve ever seen before.
It’s hypnotizing, almost makes you want to drop your things and dance with him. There’s a sense of youth that comes from him and it’s almost overwhelming - but it’s not in energy, necessarily, but rather from the precision of his movements, the technicalities that he seems to both follow and break at the same time. Something vibrant seeps out between the seams of his body, colors you can barely recognize as they splash against anything they can reach. It’s almost tangible. 
You watch him long enough for him to finish his performance (an unknowing one) with the last notes of a song you forgot was even playing. His eyes meet with yours, slow as he completes an eloquent turn, and at the same time, a hand meets your shoulder.
A small wave of embarrassment washes over you, and you turn towards whoever touched you, effectively breaking eye contact. “What are you doing here?” Chan asks, hair still wet from what you assume was a shower.
“Looking for you,” you tell him, following as he starts to walk towards the exit. “I wanted lunch, and you owe me for that time I took your British literature quiz for you.”
Chan groans but agrees to pay, and you laugh, though the world seems a little paler than it did a few moments ago.
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The second time you see him is by chance.
(Maybe.)
You’re waiting for a lecture to start, tapping your fingers against your laptop idly as you watch students trickle in last minute. It’s not a strict course, but it does start at nine in the morning, and most everyone shows up with a coffee.
You look down to brush a stray hair off of your table, and when you look up again, the dancer from before walks through the door, then looks right at you.
You feel a blush heat your face and it’s like he wants to make sure that you know that he knows, because he almost refuses to look away. You break eye contact first (like the last time, you remember for no reason) but still watch as his figure moves up the stairs, past the rows, and you hope he’ll just move past you too…
He doesn’t. He takes the empty seat right next to yours, and you don’t say anything, instead finding the peeling sticker on your laptop incredibly interesting. The professor comes in and decides that today he’ll take extra long to set everything up, apparently, and you want to scream.
“So,” the dancer says, voice quiet. It takes your breath away, the way he sounds. “Mind if I ask why you were watching me the other day?”
You cast a glance at him - not too long, you don’t think you could handle more than five seconds tops - and finally open your laptop so it makes you look busy. “I was waiting for a friend.”
“And?”
The smile in his voice is palpable. You’re already exasperated.
“You…” you start, finally deciding to look at him as some sort of subconscious power move. “You’re a beautiful dancer. It was hard not to watch.”
Beautiful doesn’t even cover half of it, but you figure he already thinks you’re weird for watching him, so you hold back the thoughts of youth and vibrancy and color. The dancer looks at you, almost blank for a moment, before a soft smile draws itself on his face. It makes your heart beat a little faster. He says “thank you” with a gentle tone, sincerely felt.
The class starts, and the two of you don’t speak throughout the next hour and a half. You type out notes on your laptop and you see him write down names of the paintings being shown on the projector, little thoughts and notes written afterwards.
By the end of class, your professor assigns an optional partnered project, and you’re more than prepared to head back to your apartment and start on it yourself. The dancer stops you before you leave, however, asks if you’d like to be his partner.
(And he says it like that, would you like to be my partner, polite and somehow sweet.)
You know your answer. “I don’t even know your name,” you stall, standing from your chair. 
“Minghao,” he tells you. “I’m Minghao, and I’d like for you to be my partner.”
You say yes easily, put your number into his contacts even easier. The sky is blue when you leave the lecture hall, trees dotted with pink and purple flowers, and it is all so bright that you forget it wasn’t this way in the first place.
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The third time you see him is for school.
Underneath the excitement of giving Minghao your number, there is the knowledge that it’s for the sake of an assignment. He texts you the day after to ask if you’re free to meet up to work and you tell him sure.
(Sure is what you send back, but he doesn’t have to know that you burst into Chan’s room immediately after, plunging face first into his bed just to scream into his pillows. Chan had sighed, turned around in his desk chair to look at you, then asked what happened. He gave you two minutes to rant and then kicked you out, back to your own room.)
You and Minghao agreed to meet at the library on a day that neither of you had any afternoon classes, and you get there early, spend some time working on other classes. You have somewhere around thirty minutes to freak out to yourself before you see Minghao come in, dressed like he knows what he’s doing to you (which is really just a hoodie and jeans, but you think it’s the cap that really pulls the whole boyfriend look together), smiling when he finds you at a table in the corner.
“How are you?” is the first thing he says when he sits down, and you pull down your laptop screen a little to see him better.
“I’m good,” you say, feeling your heart pound. “What about you?”
Minghao sends you a kind smile. “Really good. Should we get started?”
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You lose count of how many times you see him after that.
Meeting up to work on the project soon becomes just meeting up, and after the project’s done and turned in, it happens even more. You hang out and get lunch, send each other texts and stupid videos, take walks around campus together. The weeks pass, summer mellows into fall, then into the early days of winter. You develop a genuine friendship with him, finding comfort in his presence, looking for him wherever you go. 
(Although the crush is still there, potent and patient, stubborn in a way you’ve never experienced before. You wonder if it’s a sign of some sort.)
You’re in one of the practice rooms with him, sitting in the corner. You had a class nearby and he’d wanted to practice a little more, so you told him you’d work on your own stuff while he finished up and then the two of you could grab something to eat.
But you made a small error on your part - the dancing. You’d forgotten the way he moves (you haven’t seen him dance since that first time) and in no time at all you’re letting your screen go dark in front of you and watching him. Honestly, it’s not your fault, you really can’t help it. 
But of course he notices.
Minghao meets your eyes through the mirror and raises his eyebrows at you, and all you can do is look away, desperately try to get your laptop up and running again so at least it seems like you weren’t watching him for too long.
“You’re staring,” he says, long after you’ve looked away.
“Sorry,” you tell him anyways, immediate, quick. 
Then he says, “I never said anything about stopping.”
In a second, you look up from your laptop and up at him. He moves closer, crouches in front of you. His eyes are kind - they’re never not - but you think you see something a little more in them. “Sorry, I think I missed that last part,” you respond, blinking. Minghao smiles like you’re endearing.
“I said I want you to keep looking at me.”
You think you’re barely breathing when he shuts your laptop for you, slides it off of your lap and onto the floor (gently, with care, and it’s a wonder to you how he can focus on that right now). He practically crawls over you, one of his hands eventually reaching the junction of your jaw and neck and holding there. “I’m gonna kiss you now, if that’s okay,” he says, but doesn’t move. You nod as soon as his words reach your brain, eager and quick.
And the next few hours get a little wound up in your head, a little mixed in with the feeling of his body - that moves so youthfully, with so much vibrancy that it reaches everything around you - melting into yours and the sound of him asking you to tell me what you need, honey, and the still-playing slow jam music he was practicing to.
You watch him sleep next to you, hand curled around yours against his pillows, and think that nothing bad could ever touch him.
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The two of you… come together, after that.
Neither you nor Minghao use any proper labels, but you both seem to know. No labels are needed, really. You have each other and that’s all there is to it. And everything is really good.
You work together and laugh together like you’ve always known each other. He tries to teach you to dance with him when you’re in the practice room with him, pulls you up by your hands and guides you through your giggles. He was the first person you called when you realized that you had no idea what you were working towards, didn’t have a clue what you actually wanted to do with your life. He gets along well with your friends and you text his because they’re basically yours, now, too.
Winter turns back into spring, slow and easy. Vibrant and youthful. You’re not able to meet Minghao’s parents, but he meets yours (and you’re sure a quick introduction to his mom over a FaceTime call has to count for something). The two of you take advantage of the newfound warmth of the season and try to get out as much as you’re able to, with picnics and city dates and anything you can think of. A drawer in his dresser is reserved for your things, you bought an extra toothbrush for him to use when he stays over.
You watch him dance. It still feels like the first time, like color and breathlessness. You tell him he’s beautiful every time, feel yourself fall a little deeper when he still gets bashful amidst his comedown. You tell him you love him for the first time after he gets done with a performance - a proper one, for a showcase of the dance club he’s in. He says it back.
You think he put all the stars in the sky just for the two of you to gaze at them together.
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Things shift the beginning of your junior year.
Minghao tells you about a program he’s applying to, a proper dance academy in New York that could really kickstart his career. Training under some of the best choreographers and performers in the world.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask him after he tells you, and he shrugs, leaning back in his chair. You’re studying at his apartment tonight.
“It’s just…” he frowns. “It’s so far away, you know?”
Oh. You hadn’t even thought about that, too caught up in the excitement of him being able to apply at all. A quick sigh leaves your lips, and then you reach for his hand, hold it between both of your own.
“That’s okay,” you tell him, though now that you’re thinking about it, you feel nervousness in the pit of your stomach. “We can work something out, though, when we get that far. We’ll figure it out.”
Minghao nods, a fond look in his eyes. He pulls one of your hands to his lips. “We’ll think about it if I even get accepted,” he says.
It’s bittersweet, but a promise nonetheless.
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Fifteen minutes after you get a call from Minghao, there’s a knock on your door. 
You wouldn’t necessarily say you’re worried, but, well. Everyone’s experienced the jump of anxiety when they get hit with the “I want to talk to you about something” line. Nonetheless, you stand from the couch to open the door, mentally preparing yourself for any and everything. 
“Hey,” you greet when you see Minghao, opening the door to let him in. His face is unreadable. “Everything okay?”
He walks a few steps into your apartment, waits for you to close the door before turning back around to face you. Then he holds up a piece of paper, the creases from where it was folded still bending. You send him a confused look.
“I got in,” he says, a grin breaking on his face, and you blink, then feel your jaw practically hit the floor. Minghao only nods like he understands, and before you know what you’re doing, you launch yourself at him, holding him close.
“Oh my god, Hao, that’s amazing,” you say into his sweater, then step back to get a proper look at him. Youthful, vibrant. “I’m so proud of you.”
He seems to soften at your words, pulls you back into him again with a gentle kiss to your head. “Thank you for believing in me,” he tells you, tenderness palpable in his voice. All you can do is squeeze him tighter.
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Minghao spends a lot of time away from you after that.
You’re not really hurt in any way - even though he got into the academy in New York, he still has to practice. You get it, this is important. He doesn’t text you as often, isn’t able to stop by as much, and you miss him, but you know how much this means for him. But it gets… weird, almost, after a while. Strange, even for him. It feels weird that he’s set to leave at the end of January and it’s December and he’s distant.
Both of you are laying in your bed, looking at the glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling, when you decide to bring it up. “You’ve been… kinda far away lately,” you start, nudging him with your shoulder gently. “Everything okay?”
His eyes stay on your ceiling, but you feel the way he sighs. “It’s about the program,” he says.
“Okay.”
“And about… you and me.”
Oh. That doesn’t… sound the best. “About, like… what we’re gonna do?”
Minghao nods.
You say, “I wouldn’t mind visiting every so often. It’d be hard, but I’m sure we could find something to work.”
Minghao shakes his head, says, “no.”
You pause, and when you look at him he’s already looking at you. What does he mean by no? Does he want you to move with him? Or does he -
He reaches for your hand and you think oh.
His eyes are a little glassy. You feel the tears come, too.
“Oh,” you say out loud. Minghao squeezes your hand. “So this is… this is it?”
Your room is suddenly cold, and you want to crawl under the covers and stay there. The person in front of you is blurred into something unrecognizable, but you can’t be bothered to blink away your tears.
“I think so, love,” he whispers back to you. “I think it has to be.”
The two of you cry like that for a while. In your bed, loosely intertwined and broken. Even the way Minghao cries carries a kind of vibrancy that’s overwhelming, makes you think of the first time you saw him so long ago, and now -
When you manage to get a better grip on yourself, you ask him if you can still see him off at the airport. He says, “I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t.”
Then you ask if you can kiss him again. He responds by kissing you first. 
And it’s sad, it tastes like salt and sorrow and you feel like the promises you never got the chance to make are broken. It feels like the most beautiful blue you’ve ever seen, and you know it’s only a branch of Minghao’s color.
He leaves soon after that, pulls on his shoes and his coat and turns around at the door to give you a tired smile. After he’s gone, you drag yourself to Chan’s bedroom, and once he sees the state you’re in, he offers up one side of his bed. Neither of you say anything, but the friendly reassurance of his hand in yours says enough.
You don’t fail to notice that everything seems to be washed out, a blandness you’re not used to.
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The last time you see him is at the airport.
It’s a cold day, despite being sunny. The airport offers little warmth, but you figure it doesn’t matter. You won’t be here for long. 
It doesn’t take you very long to find Minghao - you still look for him wherever you go, even if you’re not looking for him. Even then, it’s still so easy for you to find him, to pinpoint that vibrancy, that youth. He’s talking to a few others, you think you met them. Soonyoung and Jun.
Minghao meets your eyes and you freeze, but then he waves you over with a gentle smile. You follow like you think you always will. 
You greet Soonyoung and Jun and the four of you talk, albeit a little awkwardly, even when Soonyoung tries his hardest to lighten the mood. Eventually he has to leave, and Jun follows with a shy goodbye. They both hug Minghao before they go.
You’re not sure what to say, but after a minute, you find words. “I don’t know what I’ll do without you,” you tell him, a little selfishly. 
Minghao says, “you’ll do good. I know you will. I’m not worried about you.”
He pulls his phone out of his pocket to check the time, and you think he’ll give you a stiff and sad goodbye, but he steps a little closer to you. Looks at you the way he used to.
“Maybe…” he starts, then pauses. “Maybe we’ll meet again.”
Maybe, you think. Maybe.
“I hope so,” you tell him, then watch as he leaves.
185 notes · View notes
honeypirate · 3 years
Text
Made of Sunlight
Tokoyami
Tokoyami
Tokoyami x Fem!Reader with Similar Quirk!
quirk is she has a quirk partner that is almost identical to her but she is made out of the light of the sun, her quirk is almost like the opposite of Dark Shadow. The idea for this quirk I got from this post
Tokoyami x Y/N
Dark Shadow X OC Kira (quirk partner)
Warning: only lightly edited
“Kira I know. I see them. You know you’re not supposed make so much noise” your quirk and partner huffs before blending into the light around you. Your eyes follow the boy with the beautiful feathers and his shadow partner as he finds his seat in the class, you stand by the door, waiting for the teacher to crawl out of his sleeping bag before you enter the room. 
“Who’s that?” Dark Shadow whispered into his ear when you finally walked inside, “she must be new. There’s something about her. I like her” Tokoyami watches as you talk to Mr. Aizawa, your kind eyes and smile making his heart race. He senses something, something is different about you, he has to know. 
“There is an open seat next to Tokoyami and Dark Shadow, don't make too much noise. I’ll give you the first day tests after your classes, meet me at the training field outside at 3” you nod and then look over at the boy you had eyed before, the one Kira had made a fuss over. You felt her stir, fluttering about and making your back tingle. You willed her to calm down and keep her emotions in check. 
“Hi” Dark Shadow whispered as he popped his head over next to you, making you chuckle, and Kira swoon against you. You tried to keep your expression calm but you were really annoyed she couldn't relax just because she thought the shadow was cute. “Hi” you respond, Kira echoing it in your head ‘hi hi hi hi hi’ you lean around Dark shadow and make eye contact with the boy “Hi” you say to him and he clears his throat “Hi, I’m Tokoyami, welcome to our class” “I’m Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you Tokoyami.” you reach out your hand and when he takes it you both feel electricity run down your spines  “I hope I can sit next to you this whole time.” you add and his eyes widen for a second before Aizawa starts the class. 
“This is Y/n L/n. she will be joining our class from today on. She just moved here from America and against my judgement she has been placed with us in the middle of the year. Everyone be nice to her.” and with that he launched into his lesson. 
At the end of class  you found yourself surrounded by new faces, you learned their names and immediately connected to them all. “Are you moving into the 1A dorms?” a nice girl named Mina asks and you nod “my stuff should be getting moved over now. I’m on the fifth floor, room three” the nice frog girl with the green hair, Asui, smiles “that’s next to my room, Yaoyorozu is also on that floor” you grin “perfect! I hope we can be good friends!”
Tokoyami watches you as you talk to the girls, the other guys around him talking about how cute you were and speculating what your quirk was. He couldn't help the way his heart would race every time you would look around the room until your eyes fell on him, he wasn’t always glad he had a bird head but he was in that moment, because you couldn't make him blush on the outside, you only affect his heart. 
“So your quirk is similar to Tokoyami’s except your’s is with the light and not the shadow.” you nod as you use your quirk to blend the light around Kira, making her visible to everyone now and not just you. She flicks her hair and it glitters with fractured light “yet she makes me hide away” she says dramatically with a huff, hoping she could get some sympathy from the teacher but she was dreadfully mistaken. “We’re going to run through these tests and if you fail you’re out of my class” you gulp, but nod once, getting into the right mindset as Kira sighs, rolling her eyes, before nodding and squaring her shoulders. 
“You passed, barely. You’re free to go. I’ll have make-up tests for you from what we covered at the beginning of the semester, they won't be due until the end of the semester but you will have to do them” you nod once and then he turns and walks away, rubbing his eyes. 
“I dont keep you hidden on purpose. It just takes a lot out of me to hold your form” you say through pants as Kira fades back into the light, blending into invisibility. “I know. I know. I’m you so i know everything. I just like to give you a hard time” she pats your head and you chuckle before walking out towards the new dorms. 
“So that’s why she was different” He says from his spot at the window “she is beautiful” Dark Shadow adds beside him “the light hurts you if you don't remember” Dark Shadow sighs, sounding like a lovesick creature “it doesn't hurt me per say, it just makes me weak, which she already does” he drones and Tokoyami rolls his eyes. “Don’t act like i don't know how the human girl makes you feel, i know your thoughts” Tokoyami just ignores Dark Shadow as he gathers his things up from his studies, maybe he’d offer to show you around the dorms or something, either way, he’d talk to you somehow. Probably. If he could get the guts up for it. 
After getting back to the dorms, Mina and Asui take your hands and show you around, giving you the grand tour. When they get to your room you find a collage of decorations that spelled out your name on your door “aww that’s so cute guys!” you say and Mina squeals, “just wait!” she says and then she opens the door. 
Inside is all the other girls and a few of the guys, one you think is called Deku and the other was the boy with many arms, he must have moved the furniture around. He looked sheepish and sweet. You look at all of their smiling faces before you realize that your boxes were unpacked and your bed was made. You gasp and look around the room with wonder, they had even decorated. “Guys” you whisper and blink away tears “this is so nice. This means so much to me you have no idea” your eyes land back on the group of kids and Mina steps forward “we’re glad you like it, we thought you might be mad but we wanted to do something to welcome you. We left your clothes packed though” you laugh “okay. Thank you. Really. I wasn’t looking forward to unpacking. And you decorated!” Yaoyorozu steps forward “I hope you dont mind, but we added a few things from our rooms as well” she points out the wall behind you and you turn, gasping again and going over to it, a collage of different things from them, little pieces of their personalities, pictures and posters form their rooms and a few from the others here.
One poster in the middle catches your eye “this is AMAZING! Is this the rare all might poster from the-” Deku cuts you off and steps forward “yes!  From issue 234 of the” you finish the sentance with him “heroes of the world magazine!” you laugh with him “thank you! They dont sell that magaizine in america, i only read about it online.” he scratches the back of his neck “it’s no problem, i have two” you gasp “You have TWO OF THEM?” Mina laughs “he has more than that you should see his room” she gasps and grabs Ochakos hand “we should show her our rooms too!” “wait!” you shout and they look at you, you grin “did you guys find my star stickers?”
Every room you saw you rated, extremely generously because it was fun, and gave their door a colored star sticker. 
Mina- “12/10 and a gold star. I LOVE the pink! 3 red stars for that because I don’t have pink” 
 Ochako- “12/10 and a gold star. I feel really comforatble here. Very Homey. 4 blue stars because blue makes me feel like home for some reason”
Yaoyorozu - “100/10 because omg girl your bed is a dream. Three gold stars for that bed alone” she blushed, she was a little embarrassed about it before but now she feels glad. 
Jirou- “19823429347/10 are you KIDDING ME? You’re so badass Jirou! Maybe if you have some time we can jam out sometime, i’m decent at the guitar. Let me know” you smile and place every color of star on her bedroom door as she blushes in the corner
Hagakure- “I love the cherries! And the stars! This is so cute! 11/10!” she claps when you place gold stars on her door
You go through the boys rooms, fangrling over Deku’s and placing red, blue, silver, and gold stars on his door. 
When you get to the last room on the list, Tokoyami, they all make excuses and try to bypass it, saying it was too dark and scary to see again, but on your way back to your room you shake your head, what could be so bad? Kira whispered to you and you nodded, sneaking back and knocking on his door. 
“Hi” you say when he opens it a crack. “I was wondering, could I see your room? Everyone else showed me theirs and i was curious what made yours so creepy” he looked you over once, before Dark Shadow pulls the door open the rest of the way “come on in! Hey where's your friend?” you furrow your bows as you’re herded in the room by dark shadow “he means your quirk partner” Tokoyami says as he faces away from you, embarrassed that everyone thinks his room is scary.
“Im right here!” Kira says but she doesnt show up, the darkness drowning out any powers she may have had alone. You chuckle and concentrate the last of your energy, pulling light from the open doorway and his purple lamps to build her form better, “it’s not that i hide her, her form is just made out of the light, so it’s harder to keep her visible. Tokoyami, Dark Shadow, this is Kira.” as Dark Shadow and Kira talk about their lives being attached to someone, you look around Tokoyami’s room as he just stands awkwardly. 
“Your room is SO cool” you say softly as you gawk at his decorations, you’d keep your room like this if it wasn't so hard on Kira “look at this!” you exclaim as you hold up his skull decoration with glowing red eyes and he chuckles in shock, you were so cute, so bright and bubbly, literally made out of sunlight, and you liked his room? He was so intrigued by you. “This is the skull of Yorick, the king's jester” you say in a dramatic voice and then giggle as you set down the skull and look at his other things. His heart was beating out of his chest, how were you so perfect? And WHY WASN'T HE SAYING ANYTHING?! 
You make your way slowly around his room, your hand running along the edge of a cape that was on the back of his desk chair, you point to a poster in the middle of his collage, a band that you listen to often “is that from their last tour? Did you go?” He pops out of his head band takes a step towards you “no I couldn’t go, unfortunately. They’re my favorite band” you beam at him and he feels his heart pop out more butterflies that flood his veins “they my favorite too! We should go to a concert sometime together, if you’d like” yes. You have killed the resident bird boy. “I/ I - uh - I - *Tokoyami brain go:@•#[*“ Dark Shadow and Kira move closer to you guys “he's trying to say he would really like that” Dark Shadow says, patting Tokoyami on his back as Kira giggles. Tokoyami brushes Dark Shadow away 
You feel a little dizzy and Kira flickers for a moment before fading “sorry I’m just at my limit. Mr Aizawa goes hard” you laugh and Kira sighs dramatically. “Are you okay? The dark probably doesn’t help. Maybe you should go” Tokoyami forgot about his nerves and shyness, just for a moment, now worried for you.
You laugh “the darkness makes it harder for Kira but I’m okay with it. But I should go I don’t want to impose” when you get to his door Kira says goodbye to Dark Shadow, and he hands her a small piece of paper and you turn to Tokoyami, who’s watching the exchange a little confused “it’s for our collage in our room, Mina and the others gave us some things to make it feel like home, posters and pictures. Thank you for showing me your room,” you place your hand on his arm gently “no matter what anyone says it’s a freaking amazing room, not scary at all” you smile warmly and he feels his tongue get thick in his mouth, his palms start to sweat, “th-thank you” he nods and then panic flashes through his eyes “wait!” He says before you turn and he walks back into his room, grabbing the poster you commented on and handing it to you “for-“ he clears his throat “for your collage” you beam up at him, excitement on your face and on your voice “really? You don’t have to! It’s your favorite! I couldn’t-“ he chuckles, and a surge of confidence finds him, finally, as he says boldly, albeit a bit shaky from his nerves  “I insist. I’ll get another when we go to a show together” a soft sound of elated shock escapes your throat, one that he really liked hearing, as you gaze up at him “thank you, Tokoyami” 
After his door closes you place a gold sticker on it before walking away “What did he give you?” You ask Kira “this drawing!” She shows you a small piece of paper with a quick pen drawing Dark Shadow made of him and Kira. It was adorable honestly. You chuckled softly as she sighed like she was love sick.The next day you find the picture hung up by your mirror, on its own special place Kira chose. 
The next few weeks flew by, you spent all your free time studying and having Yaomomo tutor you so you could turn in all your make up work in the first month, hoping to make your way on Aizawa’s good side, which by the nod he gave you you’re pretty sure it worked. To celebrate Mina suggests a movie night at the dorms and everyone, even Bakugou who you haven’t even spoken to once, agreed, which honestly shocked you. 
You put on a pair of cotton shorts and a big sweatshirt before grabbing a soft blanket and heading downstairs, the smell of popcorn hitting you before the elevator doors opened. “Hey y/n! Do you like scary movies?!” Mina asks as you enter the kitchen area. “Yeah I do! Are we going to watch one?” Half of the kitchen sighs and Mina laughs “it was a tie that you just decided!” You laugh “sorry guys” you scratch the back of your neck before Mina grabs your hand, dragging you to the couches and pulling you down next to her. 
“So do you like anyone yet? It’s been a month, do you have any eyes on any of the boys?!” She asks excitedly and you chuckle as a few other girls come over “Don’t get me started!” Kira exclaims, making the girls laugh as you structure her form “Dark Shadow is just dreamy” she swoons as Dark Shadow waves at her from across the room.
“And how about you y/n? Do you like Tokoyami  maybeeee?” Hagakure’s singsong voice makes you laugh “yeah, he’s really kind, and very interesting. But my plan is just to wait and see if anyone likes me, before i make up my mind” “ARE WE GOING TO START THIS OR WHAT?” Bakugou shouts as he walks into the room, making everyone chuckle and Mina pop to her feet “OKay guys buckle up! It’s a scary one tonight!” Mina gets it set up and then takes her place on the floor on her stomach, the place to your right staying empty. 
“Dark Shadow wants to sit next to Kira” Tokoyami says while avoiding your eye contact shyly and you smile “of course!” you pat the seat and he sits beside you stiffly, nervously “but Kira is too bright for the movie so if you want i can make her like a shadow in the dark, the opposite of light.” Kira is one step ahead of you as she pulls a little power from you to phase herself as someone puts out the lights “now SHUT IT” Bakugou shouts again as the movie begins, ominous music filling the room. 
“No no no” you whispered under your breath as the guy in the movie ran straight down the same path the murderer was on, you put your hands in front of your face, looking through your fingers as the music gets even more intense. The moment you see the knife moving your body is turning of its own volition, into the shoulder of the boy on your right, a scared gasp leaving your mouth. 
“Are you okay?” he asks quietly and you nod into him “is it over?” you whisper back, and he nods “yeah” you chuckle and move your head up to meet his eye “sorry, Tokoyami” you go back to watching the movie but the action is repeated every time someone dies, soon your hand finds his under your blanket that had got tossed over you both and Hagakure to your left. He’d squeeze it every time the scene ended to let you know it was over, you felt your heart race every time. 
When the movie ended you stayed there, holding his hand under your blanket as your friends crawled around the couch to discuss the craziness of that movie,  “i did not expect that the killer was actually the aunt of the boy’s friend he lived with in college, total TWIST”Mina talking absolute nonsense as you chuckled, Hagakure leaning against you “but that fireman was so handsome, i need to look that actor up online.” 
Tokoyami was talking to Todoroki on the other side of the couch, where he was sitting on a table chair, Tokoyami explaining the strange twist that Todoroki didn’t understand, absentmindedly squeezinng you hand every once in a while as he spoke. Your thumb brushes against his and he remembers that he’s holding your hand. My god, he’s holding your hand. How did he get so lucky. 
Kira had a form again, comforting Dark Shadow about him being scared when the house was on fire. your heart felt warm, you felt truly at home in this small, second family, you had made at school, you were truly lucky to be having these experiences. 
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