#something about a post breakup body | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

joelscurls · 5 months

Text

give in to temptation

pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

words: 5.5k

summary: you're in a relationship now — a good, healthy relationship — that doesn't stop you from texting your ex Javi late at night.

warnings: 18+ minors dni, post Narcos s3, porn with plot, smoking, alcohol consumption, explicit smut, sexting, infidelity (I do not condone cheating, but unfortunately it's hot when it's with Javi), reference to masturbation (f), oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, unprotected piv, creampie, use of pet names (cariño, querida, baby, etc.); lmk if I missed anything!

a/n: hi! enjoy 5kish words of dubious morals bc I couldn't get this idea out of my head :)

Humidity clings to the walls, bedsheets strewn across your legs damp with sweat. You kick at them aimlessly, and the cotton grips tighter to slick skin.

In the curve of your palm rests your phone, ringer switched off and brightness turned all the way down — the last thing you want is to wake your boyfriend, dozing next to you as you text another man.

Your fingers are clammy where they wrap around metal, sweat pooling in the divots between your knuckles.

This is wrong; you know it’s wrong, just like every time preceding this one. But the guilt does nothing to slow the adrenaline racing through your veins. If anything, it makes your heart thump harder.

That, and the words pixelated on the tiny screen of your flip-phone.

Javi [2:03am]: I’ve been thinking about you all day, cariño. Got me so hard.

You’d met Javier Peña just over a year ago.

A young woman alone at the bar, you’d drawn him in like a moth to a flame. He had dark brooding eyes and a savior complex that’d been made more apparent with each story he’d shared about his time as a DEA attaché in Colombia, from which he’d recently returned.

Do you miss it? you’d asked, nursing a martini.

Like hell, he’d said. But I have nothing left to give.

I don’t know if I believe you, you’d countered with a wink.

Not an hour later, you’d found yourself in his living room, dress hiked up to your waist as he devoured you.

Sex with Javi was easy, mindless. For a while, his body served as a refuge for you after shitty days at work and arguments with your overbearing mother. A lone beacon in the fog, he was always more than willing to help you forget the stressors in your life. And your own name.

It was passionate, and filthy, and sticky — left your legs trembling and your head dizzy — each and every time.

With him, you didn’t have to talk. Didn’t have to think. It was just sex, with no strings and no labels. Your relationship, if you could call it that, was perpetuated by the transcendent pleasure you felt in the spaces between words, when your mouths were preoccupied.

But when your birthday came and went and you found yourself another year older, an aching feeling settled in your gut — a feeling that time had begun to pass more quickly than it used to. And on its heels came the desire for something more, something you knew Javi was not willing to provide: a relationship.

The decision to end things was mutual, amicable. It was the easiest “breakup” you’d ever gone through. Maybe because it wasn’t a “breakup” at all.

A few weeks later, you’d met Nathan, a law student with a polite disposition and an eagerness to settle down. He’d treated you well, the type to open doors for you and ask about your day. On all fronts, he was a good man — a little boring, but good.

After a month, you made it official. After two, he moved into your place.

And you stopped thinking about Javi, about the way his large hand had fit perfectly around your throat, the way he’d been able to coax you to orgasm in two different languages. No, you only thought about the man in front of you, the one with the steadily growing collection of argyle ties and the unstamped passport.

Sex with Nathan was admittedly different. He didn’t make you cum as quickly or as easily; your body didn’t crave his with the same amount of fervor it had Javier’s. But it was loving, sweet, what any woman would want…should want.

And it was normal that you thought about your ex sometimes when your current partner laid his weight on top of you, that you imagined a different mouth slotted against your neck or on your tits. Because certainly, everyone did that every once in a while. It was harmless.

As long as you never uttered his name out loud, he’d remain only in your head, lost to time to exist there forevermore.

But then came the day in the grocery store, on your date to the cereal aisle to restock Nathan’s favorite, bran flakes. He’d materialized like a ghost of good sex’s past.

You didn’t dare speak to him, didn’t trust yourself to. Under the bright fluorescent lights, you’d felt your palms begin to sweat, your throat constrict, eyes glued to the selection of boxes in front of you. But while Nathan debated between store brand and name brand, you’d snuck another cautious glance at him.

Javi’s expression was unreadable. He’d looked between you and Nathan as if he were trying to solve a rubix cube. One he was becoming increasingly frustrated by. He’d gripped the handle of his shopping cart so tightly, the skin on his knuckles appeared near translucent.

And then he’d disappeared, tiny wheels on the carriage screeching, noise barely audible over your pulse.

The first text came later that night.

Are you seeing someone? it’d read.

Yes, you’d replied. But that doesn’t mean we can’t talk.

You’d quickly established ground rules: messages would only be exchanged after midnight, never two nights in a row, no calls, and — most importantly — Nathan would never find out.

Okay, Javi had said. Just one more rule: don’t use his name with me.

To your right, Nathan snores, the singular catch of an inhale in his throat, and the noise jolts you, face heating as if you’ve been caught.

Then he shifts, turns on his side, away from you. You feel a strange wash of relief. A semblance of privacy that you shouldn’t be after.

You respond to Javier with your tongue between your teeth.

You [2:04am]: thinking about me doing what?

Javi [2:06am]: Riding me. Your tits in my face. My hands on your ass.

Your breath catches, attention abruptly pulled to the incessant throbbing between your legs.

You definitely shouldn’t sneak to the bathroom and touch yourself. Shouldn’t send Javi a grainy photo of your fingers in your panties. Shouldn’t make yourself cum with your ex-lover’s name on your lips.

Not for the third time this week.

But when your cunt inadvertently clenches around nothing, your judgment is suddenly clouded.

With one last glance at the sleeping form beside you, you clamber to your feet and tiptoe down the hallway, wetness dripping down your thighs as you go.

The bathroom door closes with a quiet click. You fumble for the lightswitch, eyes reflexively squeezing shut when the room brightens.

You hover over the sink, steadying yourself against porcelain with one hand while you type furiously with the other.

You [2:10am]: yeah? you wanna suck on my tits?

The mirror parallel you reflects something out of a thriller, your pupils fully dilated and your forehead glistening with sweat. You almost don’t recognize the woman staring back at you in all her depravity.

You slump to the floor. Rest with your back to the side of the tub.

Javi [2:11am]: Dying to. Always felt so fucking perfect in my mouth.

Desperate fingers slip under the hem of your shorts, into your panties. The phone balances precariously in your other hand, thumb stumbling over buttons on the keypad.

You [2:12am]: I miss your cock.

Javi [2:13am]: That’s right, querida. Best you ever had, huh?

You [2:13am]: Yes. Always made me feel so fucking good.

Javi [2:15am]: Fuck. Are you touching yourself?

You swirl two digits at your entrance, amply coating them in your slick before dragging them up to your swollen clit. You can’t stifle the moan that slips past your lips.

You [2:16am]: yes

Javi [2:16am]: good girl

The phone distractedly tumbles from your grasp, clinking against tile as you begin to work yourself toward the brink.

And then — there’s a knock on the bathroom door.

The room spins, walls suddenly shrinking in on you as you wrench your hand out of your panties. Nathan’s voice on the other side is muffled, by the exhaust fan and by the ringing in your ears. But you can just decipher his words, his voice laden with sleep.

“Babe? Are you okay? I thought I heard-“

“Fine, I’m uh, I’m fine,” you say, scrambling to your feet, wiping wet fingers on your shorts.

The doorknob jostles, and it dawns on you then that you’d forgotten to fucking lock it.

“No! Don’t come in,” you sputter. The door hitches, less than an inch cracked. “I just had a stomach ache, but I’m okay now. I’ll be back in bed in a minute.”

“Oh.” He yawns. Pulls it shut again. “Okay.”

You brace yourself against the sink, struggling to slow your racing heart.

With a flush of the empty toilet, Nathan’s footsteps recede down the hall and out of earshot. You wash your hands, then, fingers shaking under the stream of lukewarm water.

You dry them hastily, not bothering to pick up the towel when it slides off the rail and onto the floor.

You [2:21am]: gotta go. sorry.

Javi [2:22am]: ???

Nathan is far too kind the following morning. He sets a plate of buttered toast and a mug of peppermint tea out for you on the kitchen table, and presses a nauseatingly gentle kiss to your forehead as you eat.

His amber eyes scan you like he’s searching for any indicators that you’re still hurting, fingers anxiously carding through his sandy hair.

You’re sure he’s clocked the dark circles marking your undereyes — not that he knows the real reason for them.

“I’m fine,” you promise when you feel him staring.

“Are you sure?” he probes. “The noise you made was…intense; you sounded really pained.”

Pained? Not exactly.

“I know.” You stuff the last bite of toast into your mouth. Tilt the empty plate toward him.

“But I’m okay; see? Even have an appetite this morning. It was just a weird bug or something.”

The lie burns on the way out, scalds your throat. But Nathan buys it. Doesn’t ask any further questions.

Still, he tells you to take it easy today on his way out the door.

You can’t look him in the eye when you insist that you will.

You call out of work, too sick with self-loathing to show your face in the office. Instead, you mope around all day, attempt to distract yourself with the overflowing hamper of laundry in the closet.

It’s futile though, your brain paralyzed by thoughts of Nathan finding out about the affair, and the clothes remain unwashed.

He returns that evening with a plastic bag in his clutch, the local pharmacy’s logo printed on the front.

“Here,” he says, pulling out a brand new heating pad. “I realized last night that we didn’t have one of these laying around.”

You know, at that moment, that you need to end things with Javi.

Nathan is good to you. He loves you with actions, not just words. Thinks of you before he thinks of himself, in every situation. And you — you’re cheating on him. Taking advantage of him. Not even trying to be what he deserves.

You’ll try harder. To love him, to think of him. No longer will you give in to brainless, animalistic needs. Surely, you can mimic the passion you have with someone else if you just try.

Try, try, try. You can do it.

Sleep evades you that night, coming in brief stints and leaving you breathless when you wake.

In those conscious moments, the analog clock in the corner of the room taunts you, glaring red neon making your head pound.

After three straight hours of tossing and turning, you decide it can’t wait any longer.

You fish your cellphone off the nightstand. Snap it open.

You [3:23am]: We need to end this before things get ugly.

You’re sure he won’t be awake this late; not without reason. But then — the screen blinks.

Javi [3:24am]: Nothing’s going to get ugly. Please, cariño.

You [3:24am]: I almost got caught last night. I don’t want to hurt him.

Javi [3:25am]: Can we talk about this? Javi [3:25am]: In person?

Your heart palpitates. For a moment, you swear it stops altogether.

You [3:26am]: What the hell? No Javi, I can’t.

Javi [3:27am]: C’mon. Just talk. Don’t you think you owe me that?

Your eyes flit to Nathan.

You watch him for a long moment: the steady rise and fall of his chest, the slouch of his shoulders, the gape of his mouth.

He’s well and truly asleep. You’re sure you could sneak away without him waking. Slip out the door and get a cab to Javier’s, talk things through, and be back in bed before the sun rises — before Nathan even knows you’ve left.

And then everything will be just as it was before you messed this up. You can leave Javi in the past, where he belongs.

Of course, you’re not just going to talk. Deep in your bones, you know that. Know that when he’s there in front of you, you’ll be too weak to resist any of his advances.

Still, you play coy. Ignore the spring of excitement tightening in your abdomen.

In a move of finality, one which you know you won’t be able to come back from, you stand. Make your way into your closet to pull some pants and a t-shirt on, your cell phone clutched in your hand.

You [3:30am]: Fine.

Javier sends you his address — as if you’d have forgotten it. As if the name of his apartment complex isn’t permanently etched behind your eyelids, along with the wide slope of his shoulders and the plush of his bottom lip.

When the cab pulls up to the curb, the driver is visibly concerned. His bushy, gray brows thread together and his narrowed eyes catch yours in the rearview more than once on the drive across town.

It’s only when you reach Javi’s building and hand over your fare that the man speaks.

“Are you alright, sweetheart? Quite late for you to be out on your own.”

His voice crackles, the smell of cigarette smoke heavy on his breath, and it’s strangely comforting.

“Yeah,” you promise as you push the door open and step out.

He rolls his window down, anxiously watching as you maneuver your way to the front door. And then he’s driving off, headlights vanishing into the thick night.

Javier lets you up on the first buzz. He’s waiting for you in the entryway of his apartment, leaning with a large hand pressed to the doorframe.

Your mouth goes dry at the sight of him: shirtless, bronze skin cast in the dim yellow light of the corridor.

His eyes rake over you the moment you’re in front of him, lingering when they catch on your collarbone, your breasts, your legs. He looks so imposing like this. You find yourself unable to move; frozen under his silent, lustful gaze.

“Are you — can I come in?” you ask meekly.

He nods then, a slow lift of his chin. Steps backward into darkness. You will yourself to take one step, and then another, following him over the threshold and past the point of no return.

It feels so odd to be here, in his space, with the intention of doing anything other than fucking. If you look close enough, you swear you can make out the shape of your body imprinted in the couch cushions, can hear lingering echoes of climaxes reached with your face shoved into one of his decorative pillows — can feel them, too.

Arousal pulls between your thighs. You ignore it.

You wonder how many other women have been here since you, have taken Javi in their hands or their mouths or their cunts. How many names that aren’t yours has he chanted in the throes of passion?

And — moreover — why do you care?

You don’t. You definitely don’t.

Javi pours you a glass of wine, fills a crystal with whiskey for himself. He flicks a lamp on, casting the room in an orange glow, and settles into the couch You follow his lead, perching yourself on one of the arm rests apprehensively.

“So,” you start. “About what we’ve been…doing-“

He cuts you off with a quirk of his brow, a flinch of his jaw.

“Javi,” you try again. “This has to — we can’t-”

“You’re sure you want to break it off, cariño?” His voice comes out low, dark.

And the thing is — you’re not sure. You wish you were, wish you had the strength to tell him definitively that it’s over, to go home to your boyfriend and block Javi’s number on the way out.

But the flex of his bicep when he hooks his arm behind his head, the knowing smirk playing on his lips, his cock — which you can’t see, but know is long and thick under his jeans — it all makes your head feel heavy.

You let the weight of it drop between your shoulders, hang there as you silently search for just a particle of sanity left in your being. You come up empty.

“Fuck,” you hiss, claw your fingers into your scalp. “This is — fuck.”

Leather groans under Javi’s weight. He stands. Steps in front of you.

You don’t dare look at him, not until he pinches your chin between two fingers and forces your gaze to meet his. His eyes are charcoal-black, something devious swimming behind blown pupils.

“Baby,” he croons. “Why did you really come here?”

You play dumb. “What do you mean? To — to talk.”

His thumb skates along the underside of your jaw, soft and placating.

“We’re not really gonna talk — are we?”

Your head spins, mind clouded by Javier’s words, his touch. You sense yourself losing resolve just as he pulls you upright by both hands.

You’re so close like this; can taste the whiskey on his breath, can feel the warmth of his exhale against your skin.

His mouth moves to the shell of your ear, voice a mere whisper when he speaks again.

“Wanna know what I think, querida?” he asks, palm flattening at your lower back, pushing you flush against him. “I think you came here because texting wasn’t enough anymore, huh? Think you missed me.”

And the truth is, you have missed him — painfully so. You’ve missed the timbre of his voice, the caress of his hands, the stretch of his cock. All just in reach, tangible for the first time in so long.

Your need for him borders on carnal. The feeling snakes its way up from your stomach into the cavern of your ribcage, splays its weight across your delicate, pounding heart.

And then the rational part of your brain whirs weakly to life.

What are you doing?

“I have a boyfriend,” you say. You’re not sure who you’re reminding.

“Mhm,” Javi mutters, deft fingers peeling the fabric of your t-shirt up, up, up your body. You don’t stop him.

“And does your boyfriend —“ he kneels down, presses a kiss where exposed skin meets denim — “make you feel as good as I do, cariño?”

You can’t answer that. It wouldn’t be right. Because any of this is.

“Javi — I,” you try, cut off abruptly by dull teeth in the flesh of your waist. You yelp, the sweet sting quickly dissipating as he pauses. Pulls back.

“You can say it,” he goads with a wicked smirk. “I won’t tell him.”

“He — no,” the words leave you before you even feel them in your mouth, and then you’re cursing yourself. You can’t take it back — it’s too late. Javi knows, you know. The only one still in the dark is Nathan.

Javier says your name. His tone is different, soberingly serious.

“Tell me to stop.”

Fuck.

“Tell me to stop,” he repeats, “and I’ll stop.”

“I can’t,” you whisper, so quiet you barely hear yourself.

“Cariño-”

“I can’t,” you stammer, louder. “I — fuck, Javi. Please.”

“Please?”

He knows what you’re asking for; he just needs to hear you say it.

“Please fuck me.”

In an instant, he’s standing back up, grasping at your sides and impatiently guiding you onto the couch. He brackets you against the cushions, one hand splayed next to your head on the backrest, the other popping the button of your jeans open.

You lift your ass as he tugs them down your legs, pulls them past your ankles and leaves them in a heap on the floor. And then he’s moving down your body, kneeling at your altar and prying you open for him.

You surrender to him willingly, desperation growing when he pulls your panties aside and gazes at your glistening sex, transfixed by you.

“This gorgeous pussy,” he hums, leaning down to taste you.

“Yeah?” you breathe. “You miss it?”

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he groans. Dips his tongue into the apex of your heat, refamiliarizing himself with your nectar before licking a languid stripe up to your throbbing clit.

You writhe under him, beg with wordless whines and whimpers for more. He knows your sounds, knows their tells, soothes you with a gentle shh against your cunt.

His lips wrap around your clit, then, envelope it completely as he starts to suckle, and the sudden sensation makes you buck your hips.

“Javi — fuck, oh — holy-”

He retreats, mouth shiny with your arousal. “What is it, baby? Your boyfriend doesn’t eat your pussy like this?”

“He doesn’t,” you admit breathlessly. Javi clicks his tongue. Faux-pouts at you.

His lips reattach to your clit and you curse.

“Fuck, Javi, he — he’s never-“

The half-admission stops him in his tracks. He stares back up at you with narrowed eyes.

“Cariño, don’t tell me he doesn’t go down on you?”

Your face heats. “He — he says he doesn’t like to do it.”

Suddenly, Javi looks livid.

His fingernails dig into the meat of your inner thighs mindlessly. You watch his lip twitch and his eyes roll to the ceiling.

He’s unaffected by much these days — but Javi clearly doesn’t take kindly to a man not pleasuring his woman. Especially when you are the woman in question.

“Pendejo,” he murmurs.

“Javi,” you whine. “Please.”

Your pleading voice seems to snap him out of it. Or at least remind him of the task at hand.

He returns his attention to your dripping pussy with one final huff. “Gonna take care of you baby, don’t worry.”

You anchor yourself with fingers of one hand twisted in the dark, sweaty curls at the crown of his head. Two digits on the other pinch at one of your hardened nipples, just as Javier begins to swipe his tongue back and forth over your clit.

“Fuck,” you sigh, draping your trembling legs over his shoulders.

He licks your cunt like he fears you’re going to melt, lathes over your clit again and again with the wide flat of his tongue. The wet squelch of him slurping at you, eager to catch every last drop of your arousal, bounces off the walls obscenely.

You hope, fleetingly, that his neighbors are heavy sleepers. Better yet, that they’re out of town.

Maybe he’s putting in extra effort because he knows now that your boyfriend isn’t doing this for you at home. Or maybe he’s just better at it than you remember. Regardless, you find yourself completely overcome with ecstasy, close to falling apart on Javi’s tongue in a matter of minutes.

As soon as he curls two fingers into your cunt, you’re gone, cumming so hard your vision pulls and your thighs shake.

You sing Javi’s name like a hymn. It rolls off your tongue effortlessly, naturally. Like it’s made for you to recite.

He lets you come down, soothes you with gentle hands stroking along your thighs, soft lips pressed to your sensitive mound.

When your breathing evens, he lifts off of his haunches, motions for you to lay flat on the couch with your neck supported by the armrest. And then he shucks his pants off, his cock immediately springing up to his stomach, a trail of precum dripping down his navel.

You’d forgotten how gorgeous it was — the heady, pink tip shiny with arousal, veins running along the underside of the thick base prominent. It twitches in interest as Javier leans down to kiss you, prods against your slick inner thigh when his tongue presses into yours.

You hook your legs around his back, desperately attempting to pull him closer, attempting to drag him into your achingly empty cunt.

He grins against your lips, hand moving between your bodies to guide himself to your entrance.

“Impaciente,” he mumbles.

You whine, nails digging into his shoulders. “Please Javi, need it.”

“Yeah?” He pauses with his cockhead right at your seam. “How bad?”

“Fuck — so bad, need it so bad.” Your nails burrow deeper into flesh. He hisses.

“God damn, querida; that much, huh?”

“Yes, Javi,” you groan. “Please just-”

He bottoms out in one deep thrust, effectively knocking the air out of your lungs. You moan in unison, his head falling against your shoulder as he slowly begins to move.

Your cunt sucks him in greedily, clenching around him over and over again. It’s intoxicating, the feeling of his cock nudging your g-spot with every roll of his hips. You wonder how you went so long without this. Fear you won’t be able to again.

He pulls all the way out and snaps into you before setting a new, brutal pace, one that leaves you babbling underneath him.

The room grows palpably warmer, white heat licking at your neck, your chest, your back — where it sticks to leather. You find yourself lost in the way your bodies move together; a dance you’ve done so many times before; one you’d perfected all those months ago.

“Shit,” Javi slurs. “Take me so well, cariño. Like you’re — ahh — made for me.”

I am, you want to say.

“Fuck,” you moan instead, “so good, baby. Feels so fucking good.”

And it does. You’re going to snap soon, going to cum for a second time, soak his cock.

You tighten around him, a silent warning. He slips out and you whine at the loss. But then he’s hiking your legs over his shoulders, spreading you wider for him and delving back in at a new angle that makes you scream.

You can feel it building now, like a snowball in your abdomen. You can’t fight it, can barely warn Javi, his name spilling brokenly from your throat as your orgasm crests.

He talks you through it with praises whispered in your ear. So beautiful, princesa — that’s it. So pretty when you fall apart on my cock. There you go; let it all out, baby.

Fucked-out and boneless, you beg for Javi to please cum inside.

He growls, low and primal, gripping tightly to the flesh of your waist as his thrusts begin to falter. “That what you want, querida? Want to — shit — want to go back to your boyfriend with me dripping out of you?”

“Yes,” you chant thoughtlessly, yes, yes, yes.

“Dirty. Fucking. Girl.” he grits, each word punctuated by a jerk of his hips.

He spills inside you with his teeth in the crook of your neck. There’s so much of it, filling your cunt, leaking out around his cock and onto leather. It sates you in a way you didn’t know possible, as if your womb needs to be claimed by him and only him. Nobody else will do.

You almost resent the feeling of your eyesight returning and your breaths steadying. You don’t want to come down — not if it means you need to go home.

But the sky outside is turning purple, bruising with the threat of a new day on the horizon, and you know your time together is nearly up.

“Javi,” you mutter, his chest still heaving against yours, cock softening inside you.

“Up.”

He shifts, pulls out in a devastating loss, and retreats to the opposite side of the couch.

You begin to knead the muscles in your aching calves, Javi fumbling with the pack of cigarettes on the side table next to him. He takes one out and lights it, the end glowing faintly.

“What do we do?” you ask. He rubs at the crease in his forehead, definitely set there by years of chasing after drug cartels. Maybe also by running away from meaningful conversation with you.

“You can’t go back to him,” he mumbles.

You scoff. “I can’t? I have to Javi, Nathan is my-“

“Don’t say his name,” he snaps, abruptly ashing his cigarette and turning to face you. He looks wrecked, his eyes wide and his lips downturned.

“What do you want from me, Javi?” you bite, pulling your panties back into place and reaching for your jeans where they lay on the floor. “You want me to be at your beck and call forever? Cheat on him until one of us dies?”

“I —“ Javi sighs. “No.”

“Then what?” You pull your pants on: one leg, then the other. Pull your shirt back down to cover your breasts.

“I — want you.”

You nearly choke on your own saliva.

“What?”

“All of you,” he clarifies. “When I saw you with him for the first time in that grocery store — my heart sank. I didn’t — didn't realize how serious my feelings were for you. Fuck, I shouldn’t have let you end things that day.”

He stands. Braces pleading hands on your shoulders.

“I know I’m an asshole,” he continues. “I thought I could never be someone’s partner. That I wouldn’t…wouldn’t be good. How could I be when I’ve done so much bad in my life?”

You sink into his touch. His words.

“Javi-“

“No, cariño — I need you to hear this. I want to be good for you, know I can be. I’ll do anything. I just — I can’t let you get away again.”

You feel as if you’ve just been struck by an arrow. Or, more accurately, a train. Your bones hurt and your insides twist.

You’re silent for a long moment, watching as his eyes desperately search yours. You know you need to say something eventually, put him out of his misery, but you’re too afraid to find out what happens next.

The undeniable fact that you want to be with him too is almost too much to bear. You’ll have to break it off with Nathan, split his heart in half. He doesn’t deserve it, you think, over and over.

But then, maybe you don’t deserve to remain unhappy. Unfulfilled.

Maybe you need to hurt him once in order to stop repeatedly hurting yourself.

“You’re good, Javier,” you say then. “You’re a good man. You deserve good.”

“Yeah?” his voice cracks. Tears prick in the corners of his eyes. He retracts them with a deep breath in.

You grab the sides of his face. “Yes. And I — I want you too.”

Javier kisses you, so deep you think your lips might bruise. There’s finality in it — you’re his and he’s yours — and no longer will you pretend that’s not the case.

He drives you back to your place, unwilling to let his girl get in another cab alone before daylight.

Laredo looks beautiful at dawn, all dozing buildings and empty roads. You pass by your workplace and groan at the realization that you’ll have to be back there in a few hours; you can’t call out again. A stack of unfiled reports will surely be waiting for you atop your desk.

That dread doesn’t last long, though, not when you look to the man in the driver’s seat, the one who makes your mouth water and your heart skip.

When he catches your gaze, corner of his mouth turning up at you mischievously, you know for certain that everything will work out just fine.

Javi turns onto your street slowly, moreso than he needs to, a possessive hand gripping your thigh.

“Will you let me know how it goes?” he asks when the car pulls up to the curb.

“Yeah,” you sigh. “I mean, I think it’s safe to say it won’t go well, but-“

“I know. But if he gives you any more trouble than he needs to, you call me.”

Your eyes flit up to your bedroom window, blinds drawn up and curtains pulled aside. The room is still dark, Nathan no doubt still asleep.

You’ll go up in a second. After you kiss Javier one more time.

He seems taken aback when your lips catch his, maybe because it’s crazy to do this here, now. But you can’t help it. Can’t keep your hands — or your mouth — off of him now that you have him.

He relaxes into it after just a second, licking into your mouth to deepen the kiss, his hand moving from your thigh to the back of your head to hold you against him.

And then — he abruptly pulls away.

“Shit,” he curses, staring wide-eyed at the window.

You follow his eyeline, freezing when you see what he sees: Nathan, tall and shadowy, looking straight at you.

“Well,” Javi laughs nervously, “I think he knows.”

end notes: ty so much for reading! pls consider reblogging and/or leaving a comment if you enjoyed :)

tag list: @janaispunk @kajashe @amanitacowboy @planet-marz1 @littlegrungegirlaf @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @wethairjoel @catchallfangirl @pamasaur

#javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier peña x female reader #javier peña x f!reader #narcos fanfiction #javier peña x you #narcos fic #javier peña narcos #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal as javier peña #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal smut #javier peña smut #javier pena x reader #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena narcos #javier pena x you #javier pena smut

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ecoamerica · 23 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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tb3ih · 2 months

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APOCALYPSE ⨳ satoru gojo

[ the world is caving in for EX-BOYFRIEND!SATORU--he thinks ]

⨳ word count: 2.7k !

⨳ warnings. post-breakup, non-sorcerer!au, "treating wounds tension" + underlying notes of unfinished love. contains nsfw (MDNI) — oral & fingering (f!receiving), cunnilingus, missionary, creampie & aftercare (?)

⨳ notes, happy love day to the satoru enjoyers. everyone else... well, maybe you'll learn to enjoy him after this. ( thank you to @ktsumu & @difficultdomains for mothering this fic, i appreciate you both sm <3 )

there is nothing quite like the loneliness of being the strongest. GOJO SATORU doesn't allow himself to pay any mind to the void which separates him from the rest of his kind, though at times he wished he could rid himself of it entirely.

his pace is slow and lacking in rhythm, tall frame swaying and trying to keep him from planting face first into the pavement as his body carries him down the familiar path. the metal in his mouth has yet to subside and the male is nearly on the edge of consciousness until he recognizes the entrance to your apartment building.

he does not knock, simply entering the code at your door knob and praying it hasn't changed since the last time he's been there. and it hasn't, because no sooner after he presses the enter button, the lock clicks and a small chime resonates from the door, allowing him in.

the door doesn't creak, so he swings it open just slightly to allow himself in, but one step into the living room and suddenly he's forced into the wall of the hallway behind him, something cold and sharp pressed against his throat.

gojo satoru has never feared for his life, but the glow in your narrowed eyes as you hold him in place and press the knife against his throat has his soul threatening to escape through his throat. and then something shifts, your eyes changing in emotion and just as fast as you appeared because you're no longer against him, tucking the knife away in its holster and standing before him.

"satoru? what are you doin--satoru!" satoru doesn't remember your embrace being this warm when you catch his collapsed body, but then again he hardly remembers anything at all these days. "oh my god--is that blood? jesus, satoru!"

he hums out a reply, vision a little fuzzy around the edges as he tries to register the dimly lit living room of your apartment. he hears you curse out, muttering about how heavy the male was before setting him gently down on the couch. gojo's vision is going in and out, his consciousness indecisive because one moment, you're gone and the next you're standing over him, brows pinched in concentration as you clean something off his face.

"hold still," you say quietly when you feel him try to move from his position. you're seating next to him on the couch, tying off the stitches at his brow. putting your tools down, you wipe the bit of crimson from his pale face before covering it with a bandage. his cerulean eyes watch you unwaveringly, but you refuse to return his stare.

you may have only one life, but there were things better left untouched.

the rest of his bloodstained clothes remain in a heap on the floor near the couch, revealing that most of the blood you had previously witnessed was not his. you stand, grabbing your first aid materials and putting them on the counter. when you come back, you hold a glass of water in one hand and some painkillers in another.

you set them on the coffee table, sitting down next to him once more to adjust one of the bandages you notice has come loose around his shoulder. "y/n..."

you pause your movements, eyes carefully meeting his. you regret your decision the moment you see the way his irises spill with an emotion you wish you could get rid of as easily as you did your assignments.

"why are you here, satoru?" your voice is so quiet, you almost don't hear yourself. why did you come back? is what you wished you said, but you can't risk reopening a wound you've stitched up too many times.

the male purses his lips for a second, racking his mind for an answer that won't push you even further away from him. "i... didn't know where else to go..." he brings his other hand up to your face, fingertips ghosting your cheek out of fear he might break you if he does make contact. "please, you’re… all i have left…"

you inhale sharply, something forming in the back of your throat. "please, don't look at me like that," you beg, but you don't move an inch as he starts to move closer to you, his hand coming to gently hold your face.

"why?" it is quiet in the room and his face is only a breath away. he is close, too close, but you can't bring yourself to pull away.

something hot escapes your eye, the pain in your chest flaring up again and causing the nerves on your skin to ignite. "because," you start, voice breaking off a little before continuing in a whisper. "i might actually believe that you love me this time."

his thumb catches another tear before it can make it all the way down your cheek. "and what if i said i did?"

"you are a cruel man," you reply, never breaking eye contact with him.

something glints in those beautiful blue eyes of his at your words and you know you'd never be able to get rid of him even if you tried. "then maybe you can teach me a thing or two about being good."

silence settles around the both of you, neither of you wanting to say something that might unravel whatever it is that's built up in these few fleeting moments.

“oh, satoru,” you finally say, a bit of sad amusement tugging at the corner of your lip, “not even hell would be enough punishment for you.”

when his fingers go grab your chin gently and pull your lips closer to his, you can’t even find the strength in you to fight it. gojo pauses, lips moving from your eyes to your lips that are nearly touching his.

he licks his lips. “then why don’t you show me what is?”

[n]sfw under the cut!

and you’re not breathing anymore. because in that instant you are telling yourself you loathe the man before you as you bring both of your hands to his face and finally push your lips onto his, all the oxygen in your lungs no sooner chased out by everything that is gojo satoru.

though, you can’t say your partner is any better, because he’s pushing back with just as much force, lips molding against your fervently as his hands move to trail to your waist, lifting you with no effort to make you straddle his waist. you gasp, his fingers digging in just enough for the pain to be delicious as he holds you down against his clothed dick. you can feel the way gojo’s lips twist into a smirk that he’s got you wrapped around his finger, though you didn’t mind one bit.

when was the last time you’d done anything like this? your hips move off muscle memory, grinding down hard against him at a slow, but steady pace that has gojo groaning into your mouth. your fingers find his hair, combing, tangling, and pulling his soft locks while he breaks the kiss to let his lips travel from your jaw, down your neck, and to the sensitive spot of your collarbone.

“fuck, y/n,” gojo curses, pulling away to watch you pull off your shirt, lips swollen and pink while his eyes watch you behind a veil of something almost soft. you aren’t a fool though, you’re just as hungry as him.

his lips attach almost immediately to your chest when you fall back into him, a combination of his incisors and tongue leaving hues of scarlet as his mouth dances across your bare skin. you can feel how painfully hard he is through his pants, the moan that escapes his lips almost making you chuckle when you drag your hand from his face to his chest and finally to the waistband of his pants, palming his length through the material.

“damn couch is too fuckin’ small,” he growls against your skin, to which you respond by guiding him down to the plush carpet on the floor, the soft material on your skin not nearly as cruel as the leather of your couch.

he takes your nipple between his teeth, tugging gently before swirling around it with his tongue, causing you to mewl out at the pleasure. “well, i’ve never actually tried to get dicked down on it before, but i appreciate the criticism,” you breathe out, the snarkiness in your reply inciting amusement in gojo as he sees you’ve gone back to your original self.

“i was wondering when you’d gotten so soft,” he taunts, “thought i’d lost you forever.”

you scoff, “as if i’d let you think you’re the best in the business.”

he switches the two of you, toned arms caging your head in where you now lay on the floor. “prove me wrong then, gorgeous,” gojo says lowly. his eyes look as if they’re trying to devour you in the way that they trail down from your lips to your heaving chest, bite marks and hickies blossoming in reds and bruising purples all over.

he keeps his eyes on yours when his hand finds the drawstring of your pants, undoing them in the blink of an eyes before hooking his fingers into the waistband and pulling them off entirely. his hand comes to your panties, fingertips ghosting over the already-wet patch of fabric.

“you know, for a professional,” gojo starts, lips pulling into a mean grin, “you sure do let yourself get riled up easily.”

with one hand you pull his face down to yours by the back of his neck and with your other hand you grab the wrist of his hand pushing it against your aching cunt. “for a professional, you sure like to run your mouth,” you retort, continuing with a bit of impatience in your voice, “if you don’t shut up and fuck me, i’m going to have to ask you kindly to leave.”

at that, he chuckles, pulling your panties to the side to pressing a finger to your bundle of nerves. you shudder at the sudden contact, back arching involuntarily off the carpet as he starts to move. “well i guess i better get to it, then,” gojo chuckles lowly, dipping a finger into your soaking entrance. shifting his position, he moves down so that his head is in between your thighs before bringing his mouth to your clit.

you hear him curse against you and you sigh, thighs closing in on his head as he starts to working his fingers in and out of you. curling his fingers, gojo relishes the way you shudder involuntarily, walls clenching around his fingers as he speeds up his brutal pace. there’s a familiar tightening in the pit of your stomach and the pleasure flooding your head has the edges of your vision looking fuzzy.

“satoru…hngh–!” you’re a mess underneath him, hands shaking when they move to tug his hair harder. “s-slow down–please!”

the white-haired male hums against you in reply, detaching his lips from your clit to meet your eyes. “funny how you’re asking me to slow down, but this pussy’s beggin’ to be fucked,” he coos, watching the way you’re swallowing his fingers knuckles deep.

and you feel as if the world is a little off-kilter, the trembling in your thighs intensifying as your orgasm teeters on the edge of crashing down. and it’s just as you’re about to cum that he pulls his fingers from your aching cunt, leaving you gasping and sensitive from the sudden loss of contact. “satoru…?”

and that’s when you feel it, his tip prodding between your soaked folds, dragging against your entrance with a pace that can only be described as teasing. gojo’s face comes to settling in your neck, one hand pressed on the carpet beside your head to support him while the other continues pressing his cock against you. “‘m still here, gorgeous,” he murmurs into your neck, voice low and a little strained.

it’s taking everything in him to keep from pushing in and throwing every boundary between you two to hell. the lilt of your voice when you whined his name, the twist of your fingers through his hair, god, even just the taste of you on his tongue–it was driving him mad.

if this was heaven, gojo would willingly repent if it meant he could devour you.

and when you curse out, calling his name like a mantra, only then does he snap back to reality, your teeth finding his neck when he finally does push in, your gummy walls giving him nothing short of a warm welcome as you swallow him whole. gojo pulls out till it’s just the tip teasing your walls before slamming his hips back in, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix with just enough force to have stars dancing in your vision.

“holy shit,” he breathes, groaning out at the feeling of your nails raking down his back. you feel his muscles flex as he adjusts above you, “i’m going to eat you alive.”

you place a feather-light kiss where you had just been biting down, whispering in reply, “so do it.”

and he’s smiling against your neck when he starts his brutal pace, grinding his hips into yours in a way that has a scream trying to claw its way from your throat. gojo is a muttering mess of moans and curses, the drag of his veins against your fluttering walls sending him into a state of euphoria.

you feel that familiar tightening in your core, the continuous teasing of his tip against your cervix making you arching into the white-haired male above you, your nails drawing uncertain and indecisive shapes into the contours of his back. “satoru… i think i’m–oh god, please…”

gojo is definitely not thinking straight. from ecstasy washing through his veins to the faint stinging of your nails carving into his back, he wasn’t sure if there was any going back. he can feel the way you clench around him, pushing him closer and closer to his edge by the second.

“y/n,” he rasps, unable to stop the stutter in his pace of his hips against yours. “...god, you–you’re everything…” this, here–the moment–is everything.

you almost don’t catch what he says solely out of doubt that he even said what he did. you don’t respond, only biting his shoulder to muffle the sound of his name as it comes tumbling off your lips in a scream. your orgasm washes over you and you let yourself go under, body shaking as gojo comes to finish following you.

and when he does, it comes crashing. hips slowing to a halt against you, you hear him groan, frame shuddering as he empties himself into you. you feel the warm flood your walls, both of your frames heaving for air as you come down from your highs. when he finally does calm down, you’re already fading in and out of consciousness.

you’re half-awake when gojo rolls off of you, taking his weight and his warmth with him when he gets up and collects himself. you don’t have time to actually feel the difference in temperature because only a few moments after he’s gone, he’s back again, arms locking your tired body against his chest as you’re lifted from the carpet.

you’re barely hanging on to reality when you feel like you’re being embraced again, only this time it’s a blanketing kind of warmth. “satoru…”

the male lays perfectly still against you, allowing you to adjust yourself and get as comfortable as possible. the moon peeks in from the sun window in your bedroom ceiling and gojo finds himself staring up at the distant twinkling of young stars galaxies away.

none of the stars have exploded and the moon appears to have stayed on its course. when he looks back at you, you’ve already drifted to rest, breaths rhythmic and nearly silent as you remain cuddled against him.

silly of him to think that the world was ending.

after all, you were right here.

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bratzforchris · 2 months

Note

you should do johnnie x fem!reader but she has a christina piercing

Call Me

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*

Summary: A post-breakup piercing turns into something much more

Pairing: Body piercer!Johnnie x feminine reader

Warnings: NSFW content, dirty talk, fingering (f), genital piercing

Word Count: 1k

A/N: Thank you for the request! I didn't write a ton of super in-depth smut because of legality (even though this is au and a fanfic, i try to keep it semi appropriate <3), but if you'd like a part 2, send it in my inbox!!

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*

You had never been a wild girl. Down to have fun? Sure. But never wild. All of that changed today, though, as you walked into your local tattoo and piercing parlor. Having recently gone through a rather messy breakup, you decided the best way to find yourself again was to reclaim your own body. A tattoo had seemed a bit too permanent, whereas ear and nose piercings had seemed too basic. After a bit of research, you had decided on a Christina piercing. Was it a bit out there? Definitely. Then again, no one had to know about it except you and your sexual partners down the line.

You signed your name in at the front desk, feeling so thankful you didn’t have to put down what kind of piercing you wanted. As excited as you were, that would be too embarrassing for you. You waited, anxiously tapping your leg until a man came from the back and called your name.

“Y/N?”

You stood up, meeting him at the door to the back in quick strides. “I’m right here.”

“I’m Johnnie. I’ll be your piercer today. Come on back.” the man nodded, leading you into the studio.

Whatever you had done to piss off the universe, you regretted it. Not only were you about to have a man pierce your clit, he was hot too. He had the classic emo style that you hadn’t seen anyone in real life wear since like 2008, and tattoos and piercings littered his own skin. You couldn’t help but to stare at his spider bites, wondering what it would feel like to kiss and tug on them.

“My eyes are up here.” Johnnie joked, leading you into a private room and closing the door.

‘Fuck, Y/N. Get it together.’ You thought, forcing your eyes to roam up Johnnie’s face to meet his own. That was a mistake, though, because your piercer had the iciest, most gorgeous blue eyes you had ever seen, rimmed with dark eyeliner that only added to his good looks and complemented his long, black hair.

“Sorry, I’m a little anxious.” You mumbled, cheeks burning.

“I understand,” Johnnie smiled kindly. “So, what piercing were you looking to get today?”

“I, um…” You started, but the words got lost in your throat.

“Let me guess. Nips?” he chuckled.

You shook your head, embarrassingly flustered and Johnnie’s eyes widened with realization.

“I see. Well, a Christina is an anatomy based piercing, so I’ll have to assess before I pierce. Is that okay?” he asked, keeping a cool, professional tone.

You nodded, your cheeks so beyond red both from the conversation and because of how hot Johnnie was. You honestly wished that this was another setting, because you knew he had to remain professional, no matter how badly he or you wanted it. Johnnie politely turned his back while you shimmied out of your pants, knowing there was no going back now. An unfamiliar man was about to see your whole pussy in bright, LED lights and you honestly wished you were more uncomfortable with it.

Once he had gotten confirmation from you, Johnnie turned around, pulling some black, latex gloves onto his hands. “I’m going to touch you now, okay?”

He moved to spread your legs, slowly caressing your inner thighs gently. As Johnnie moved towards your slit, you prayed he wouldn’t notice the dampness that had pooled between your thighs. His gracefully artistic fingers neared your clit and you couldn’t help but to let out a tiny moan at how great it felt. You hadn’t gotten laid in over a month, and you were desperate for an orgasm that wasn’t the product of your hand or battery operated ‘friends’. If Johnnie noticed, he was too polite to say anything. He plucked a flashlight from the medical cart beside him and examined you a bit more. You couldn’t help but to notice the way his fingers lingered on your clit for a moment longer than they should have as you let out another moan.

“You like that?” he chuckled, seeming to be joking.

You didn’t know what possessed you to do it, but you nodded softly, whispering out a “yes.”

Johnnie hummed, coming around the side of the table and whispering in your ear, his breath hot on your neck. “Tell me, Y/N, are you single? Does your boyfriend know you’re trying to get off on my fingers?”

You blushed, trying to arch into his touch. “I’m single.” You grunted out against the arousal.

“Thought so,” he smirked. “Better for me.”

Johnnie turned his back to you as he prepped the needle and jewelry, almost in a teasing way. You heard the plastic opening and couldn’t help but to think about the way that would be the sound of Johnnie opening a condom, prepping himself to go inside you. God, you needed to get it together.

“Are you ready?” he asked you, spreading your legs as he held the needle.

You nodded, eager to see how Johnnie would do this and how it would look. “I am.”

“Deep breath. 1, 2, 3,” Johnnie inserted the needle, quickly and expertly giving you the Christina piercing you had been looking forward to. “Good girl,” he was practically moaning himself. He quickly cleaned you up, caressing your pussy gently and with loving care. “Took that like a fuckin’ champ.”

You blushed at his praise, your clit throbbing both from the pain and from the arousal. “Thank you.”

Johnnie walked you out of the room and to the front counter for you to pay. You were rather disappointed when he disappeared into the back again as you handed the cash for your piercing to the girl working the front desk. Just as you were about to leave, though, Johnnie opened the door and slid a card across the counter to you.

“Aftercare instructions.” he winked.

You flipped the card over as you walked out of the building, only to see a phone number scribbled in messy, black ink on the back with a ‘;)’ and a heart. Somehow, you’d gone in for a piercing, and come out with both a piercing and the desire for a fuck buddy.

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01zfan · 3 months

Text

non-refundable | j. sc

ex-boyfriend!sungchan x fem. reader | 5.5k words

yeah if its not obvious im literally insane and feral after sungchan posted those photos.

contains: non refundable trip with your ex, jacuzzi sex, unprotected sex, semi public

you loved the beach. you loved feeling the sand underneath your feet and the sun on your skin. you loved being in the water, and you loved seeing people around you enjoy it too. what you hated was your ex, and having to be there at the beach with him.

he had booked the villa at the resort months prior to your breakup. at the time it was very exciting, the idea of being able to escape the cold and celebrate your anniversary in the sun. but when you broke up with sungchan, the trip became the furthest thing from your mind. you had completely forgotten about it until sungchan forwarded you an email with the reservation. you had forgotten to get his email when you blocked everything related to him.

in the email sungchan told you that it was too late to cancel the villa and he’d be out an ungodly amount of money if he didn’t go. you bickered back and forth via email the whole day, with you telling trying to give sungchan solutions to his problems.

call the front desk? i already did, they said no exceptions.

take shotaro. he hates the beach.

go by yourself. you want me to look like a loser?

you were adamant about not going until you talked to your friends about it. they nearly knocked you head off your shoulders, telling you it would be stupid to turn down an all expenses paid trip to a nice villa and the beach. you had been overworked this holiday season, and you deserved a break more than anything. they didn’t seem to care that it was a trip with your ex. when one of your friends brought up the possibility of sungchan taking some random girl in your place, you found yourself sending him an email back that you’ll go with him.

“maybe it’ll get your mind off the breakup.” your friend joked.

you were pinching your friend for her terrible joke when sungchan emailed you back.

so less than three days later, you were getting driven to the villa by your ex while you sat in the passenger seat. it was insanely strange, especially seeing sungchan’s hand that would always be on your thigh while he drove awkwardly resting on the center console. the car ride was spent mostly in silence, except for the music. you know you could’ve talked about your relationship, maybe even apologize for somethings you knew you should’ve apologized for but you kept your eyes on the road, trying not to think about sungchan sitting next to you.

things were easier once you got to the villa. not being in the small space of the car helped you get away from him. after taking in the scenery of the beautiful vacation home you’re happy you didn’t bail. before you knew it you set your stuff up in the bedroom and changed into your bikini. you hesitated before putting putting on the revealing set, thinking about your ex on the other side of the door. would he react if he saw you in your two piece? you change into your bikini anyways. maybe you should show him what he’s missing.

you assumed sungchan was watching television or was putting away the food you guys bought on the way down. even though you were no longer together sungchan didn’t even let you take your card out, paying for everything without a second thought. you couldn’t lie and say it wasn’t nice, especially seeing him load the snacks you liked wordlessly into the cart. you thought he would be preoccupied when you came out, and you would be able to sneak off to the beach without him noticing. but sungchan noticed, and he saw you completely. he was in his own swimsuit, with two towels on his shoulder and mouth agape as he took you in.

sungchan wasn’t sure what he was expecting. he thought that you would be bashful and wear a swimsuit that covered your body more, not wanting to be put on display for your ex. but you stood before him in all your glory, a colorful bikini that made your eyes pop and your skin glow. sungchan had to put on his best act to walk past you and seem unbothered. the way your eyes raked down his body gave him the confidence to smirk like you didn’t almost make him pass out cold.

“we can get to the beach through the backdoor.” sungchan said.

“i know that.” you said, walking past him to get through the siding glass door.

you were steadily ahead of him the whole way to the beach. you didn’t dare to look back at sungchan, but you swear you could feel him looking at you entire time.

you rented a large umbrella and set up at an empty spot. the large umbrella was perfect, giving you shade while you lathered yourself in sunscreen. you were almost able to get all of your body, except for that pesky spot in the center of your back that was just a little bit out of your reach. just in time, sungchan appeared with two pina coladas and your towel.

“need help?” sungchan said, setting the drinks on the table.

you looked up at him from your spot on the sand. he blocked the sun from getting in your eyes, a shadow cast on your face. you were grateful you had put your shades on so sungchan couldn’t see where your eyes were truly looking. you had them trained of his abs, and they flickered to his toned arms. there was no way sungchan didn’t know the effect he had on you. you put your head back towards the water, trying to look at something else.

“no.” you huffed.

your pride kept you from being honest. you rather let that small spot on your back get a little tan before you let sungchan touch you. just as sungchan sat down you got up, getting ready to go in the water. sungchan scoffed at your childish behavior. you could hear the cap of the sunscreen open and close.

“want to help me?” sungchan asked.

you snapped your head to look down at him, just to see a big toothy grin on his face. he laughed at your reaction and you had to play the mean ex girlfriend to cover up the fact that he got you so good.

“you can get a sunburn.” you said.

sungchan continued to put on sunscreen as you walked to the water. you wasted no time going up to your neck in the water, loving the cool feeling against your skin. you truly were grateful to be here at the beach, back home all you had was deadlines and stress. but here you had the sun and good drinks. so you let your body float around as you looked at the sun, basking in the warmth.

sungchan stayed at the shore for a long time. he kept an eye on you, making sure everything was alright. he wasn’t much of a swimmer anyways, he hated how sand got everywhere and how sunscreen felt on his skin, but he loved how much you seemed to enjoy it. it looked like you were in your own little world in the water, floating around while spread out like a starfish. when sungchan couldn’t take anymore of just watching you, he paddled out to where you were.

you could hear sungchan coming through the water towards you. he was loud even in the water, the sound of water thrashing filled your ears. you could hear him treading water next to you. you kept your eyes closed and continued to float.

“did you come all the way to the beach just to float around like a dead person?” sungchan asked.

“did you come all the way here just to spend time with your ex?” you said back.

you couldn’t stop a mischievous smile from coming across your face when sungchan let out a small sound of shock. you descended from the floating position to tread water like he was. you saw through your tinted shades that sungchan was smiling too.

“and what if i did?” sungchan asked.

he seemed almost as unbothered as you were. he shamelessly looking at your chest through the clear water. you put your sunglasses on top of your head so sungchan could see you looking through the water at his body too.

“i would say you’re pretty desperate, honestly.” you said.

both of your eyes still looked at the others body. building up tension like this with sungchan was always fun. it was one of the highlights of your relationship, how bold he was when it came to letting you know how he felt. it didn’t help that he was a tease and naturally doting either. you didn’t expect any less to happen on a vacation with your ex.

“there’s a dinner tonight that we have a reservation for.” sungchan said.

his gaze went back to your eyes. for some reason it was harder to look at him when he held your eye contact like this. you let your sunglasses fall back on your face, tinted shades saving you from embarrassment.

“can’t cancel?” you asked.

sungchan shook his head and your eyebrows raised.

“no. i can.” sungchan said simply. “it was that place you picked out. i thought it would be wrong to cancel unless you wanted to.”

you thought about it for a minute. you remembered the restaurant and the way it stuck out to you. it seemed like a fancy place though, one that was romantic as well. you were surprised sungchan remembered the reservation. you assumed it would be soon. the beach was starting to clear out, a sign that dinnertime was approaching.

“if we were to go...” you said.

“not a date.” sungchan said, shaking his head. “unless you want it to be.”

sungchan smirked and you splashed water in his face. his smug expression was replaced with a shocked one. you quickly started swimming back to shore before he could retaliate. he was laughing behind you the whole way and you couldn’t hold back your laughs either.

when you made it to the shore sungchan followed behind you. you couldn’t help but gawk at him, his wet hair and the way his abs body caught in the sunlight. you almost tripped over yourself staring at him to hard. sungchan was one step ahead of you, catching you before you fell down. he’s joking demeanor was replaced with a serious one as he helped you back to your feet.

you were the closest you had been to sungchan in a long time, your chest almost touching his. you had flashbacks of being in this same position before getting on your tiptoes to kiss him, or when you’d wrap your arms around his to give him a hug. it was too intimate to be this close to him, especially when you could feel his hands on you. sungchan seemed to know it too the way he looked down at you with big eyes. it took a couple moments for you to come back to earth, clearing your throat before stepping away from him. you hated feeling his hands leave your body.

“we should probably go back to the villa right? to get ready for the dinner.” you said.

you started heading off to your spot on the sand before sugnchan could reply. he messed with his hair a little bit to shake out the water while he composed himself. you downed the rest of your pina colada, hating that you could barely taste the alcohol. you came to the conclusion that you would need something insanely strong for the all inclusive trip if you wanted to get through the weekend. sungchan let you drink his too, looking at you with wide eyes as parts of the slushy dripped down your face.

you ended up carrying the towels back to the villa while sungchan carried everything else. he returned the umbrella and the cups used for the drinks all while holding the bag with all your stuff in it. you were too embarrassed to ask to hold something else, you knew that sungchan would just decline you holding anything anyways. plus, you think he enjoyed giving you a little show of how strong he was, hands full while not breaking a sweat. you had to look away while his arms flexed putting all the stuff down back in the villa.

you retreated to the bedroom while sungchan went to shower first. you stayed in your room the whole time while the water ran. you were trying to think how you would get through the night with the image of sungchan on the beach basically haunting you. if you were still together you knew that you two probably wouldn’t have even made it to the beach to begin with, too busy trying to break in the bed of the villa. the tradition of fucking on virtually every surface anytime you went somewhere with sungchan was in the back of your mind, but now it occupied everything. the mattress was comfy and giving underneath your experimental bounces. you could see yourself so vividly getting pressed into the mattress while sungchan would fuck you from behind, telling you how pretty you looked in your little swimsuit. sungchan was the type to not even want to waste time taking off your bottoms, simply just pushing them to the side before making you take all of him. you had to beat away the thought of going into the bathroom and joining him. you had some sort of reputation to uphold, you didn’t want to be the one to fold so easily.

you had to avoid looking at the dining room table and the couch as you made a beeline for the bathroom. sungchan came out, of course only covered with a towel around his waist. the same amount of his body was covered as it was on the beach, but the unspoken fact that there was nothing on underneath the towel made you lightheaded. you barely said a word to him as you closed the door.

sungchan exited the bathroom with a plan to get you to fold. he wanted to be the best ex-boyfriend ever, doting on you the same way he did when you two were together. now that you were no longer his girlfriend it tortured him to no end. he counted his lucky stars that you didn’t turn down coming on the trip with him. to sungchan, he saw it as an opening, a chance to win you back. he hit the gym religiously after seeing you agree to go with him, making sure the reservation for the dinner was perfect.

he put on his outfit while you got ready in the bathroom. he was tempted to stay in his towel, giving you another view of his body incase you didn’t get to see it last time. sungchan laughed at himself in the bathroom as he lowered the towel to show off as much as possible. it wasn’t in vain, your shy actions letting him know he got you acting out of character.

sungchan was fully dressed and ready to go when you. got out of the bathroom. you came out fully dressed and ready, in a dress that sungchan helped you pick out when you were still together. he stood up instantly from his spot on the couch. the directions to the restaurant on his phone completely forgotten. it was hard for sungchan to explain how you made him feel. sometimes he enjoyed getting you shy, or the way your bikini made him hot and bothered earlier. but now as you stood before him in that dress he saw an entire future with you, and his heart was beating at a dangerous rate in his ribcage.

“are you ready?” you said to sungchan.

seeing him in something a little more formal made you dizzy. you wanted to go to the restaurant, but you also wanted to see his dress shirt wrinkle underneath your clenched fists as you brought him in closer. sungchan nodded and held out his hand towards the door, following behind you as you walked to it.

there was absolutely no way you were going to make it out of this weekend trip unscathed. you came to that conclusion when sungchan brought his hand to rest on your thigh while driving you to the restaurant. you hated to admit that you moved your thighs closer to him, giving sungchan better access to the area. he smiled and tapped on the steering wheel with the other hand.

“i read the reviews for this place. it’s supposed to be really good.” sungchan said.

you could only hum in agreement. you were distracted for the rest of the night, mind only going to how sungchan looked at you and took care of you the whole time. he opened doors, pulled out chairs, and ordered wine that you didn’t know you’d end up liking. he spoke for you to the waiter and didn’t even let you see the bill. the food was amazing but you couldn’t even properly enjoy it while thinking about sungchan. you found that it was suddenly hard to look at him in the face, heat spreading across your face when he told you how pretty you looked in your dress. you desperately wanting sungchan to tell you more, preferably him whispering in your ear while he was on top of you. you almost caught yourself laughing at your depravity, how no one in your life has ever had you like this.

you were grateful when the check came. it meant you were one step closer to locking yourself in the bedroom of the villa so you could think about sungchan in private.

on the way home, sungchan opened the car door for you and helped you in. his hand went back to its home while he was driving. the car ride was silent again, but you could feel sungchan’s gaze flicker to yours occasionally.

once you were back at the villa, sungchan helped you out, closing the door behind you. you let the same hand that was on your thigh go to your lower back. sungchan used the excuse to touch you under the guise of helping you to the door. the drinks you had throughout the day had no effect on you this late in the evening, but sungchan was treating you like you were made of glass. you enjoyed the feeling, missing the feeling of sungchan dote on you.

once inside of the villa, you couldn’t look back at him. his hand still was on your back, pressing gently to let you know he was still there. you cleared your throat, walking a little too fast towards the bedroom.

sungchan said something to you but you didn’t hear him, too busy trying to be alone.

it was too ironic, getting away from sungchan just so you could think about him in private. you laid in your bed in silence until the sun started to set, giving the room an orange glow. you stayed in bed even through the sun completely setting. you didn’t get up until the view of the beach was clearing out. you needed to do something, your body too tense to sleep. you remembered the jacuzzi on the porch, and the beautiful view you got of the beach from that spot. so you quietly changed from your dress back into the almost dry bikini.

you take a quick peak and see that the television is still on. you can see sungchan’s long legs hanging over the edge of the couch, but you can’t tell if he’s sleeping or not. you think about what you should do, if you should just go to sleep and hope that you wake up feeling better or if you should walk out. you think about the warm jacuzzi and the thought of sungchan possibly joining you has you thinking hard. you decide to take you chances as you slowly walk to the sliding glass door.

you could see sungchan move from his spot on the couch, getting up to look at you. you made eye contact with him as he sat up.

“it’s too dark to go to the beach.” sungchan said.

“i’m just going to the jacuzzi.” you said.

“oh, alright.” sungchan said.

you could practically hear him holding back his tongue, still staring at you while you continued to open the sliding glass door.

“can i join you?” sungchan asked.

before you could even think about saying no, you nodded you head. sungchan got up from his spot on the couch and stretched, taking off his shirt quickly. you turned away to situate yourself in the jacuzzi before he came out.

your back was facing the villa, but you could hear the sliding glass door open again. you saw sungchan in only his basketball shorts pass by him. your head followed his every move as he went to the other side. it was later in the night, the time of day where everyone had retired back to their dwellings to get ready for the next day. you probably should’ve done the same, being up this late with just sungchan would only lead to mistakes being made. but for some reason you stayed in your spot, looking up at your ex-boyfriend as he looked down at you.

“you just can’t get enough of the water can you?” sungchan said casually.

sungchan slowly came to the side of the jacuzzi opposite of you.

“neither can you.” you say.

sungchan only shrugs before letting himself sink into the water. he lets himself lean against the side of the jacuzzi, elbows coming out of the water to rest on the edge. you look at sungchan from across the jacuzzi, the water separating you two feeling like the ocean. you think about the looks you’ve been exchanging all day, the tension that has been building up since he picked you up this morning. it was a terribly bad idea to come on this trip with him.

“i had fun today.” sungchan says.

“me too.” you say.

you start playing with the bubbling water of the jacuzzi to occupy your mind. you can feel sungchan staring at you, you focus on the bubbles waiting for him to stop.

“you were staring the whole day now you won’t look at me?” sungchan said.

you looked up for a moment to see the smile on his face. you wish you had your tinted shades on now, or something to cover your entire face as you could feel the heat spreading everywhere.

your eyes only got wider as sungchan closed the distance between your bodies. he put hands on either side of you, giving you no option but to look at him. you could never get used to that look in his eyes, the one that told you he wanted to fuck you senseless.

“tell me to stop and i will.” sungchan whispered.

his eyes scanned your face and you nodded, feeling his eyes gravitate towards your lips.

sungchan brought you in slowly, so slow that you had to close the rest of the distance. you had to awkwardly extend your neck to deepen the kiss, but a hand on your face helped you. you leaned back against the edge of the jacuzzi, feeling sungchan’s body press against yours. you could hear the low hum of the machine in the jacuzzi and the waves crashing on the beach. the wind moved the branches of the palm trees slightly and your hand went to sungchan’s hair to move it out of the way. his hand was delicate on your face, bringing you gently to peck your lips over and over. you receive each kiss, following his head each time he pulls back wanting more.

sungchan looks at your face again. your eyes are already blown out and low as you look at his lips. sungchan sucks on your lower lip and uses a hand to slowly grab your covered breast. you end up pulling your lips from sungchan’s mouth when you lean your head back, letting it rest on the edge of the jacuzzi. you arch your back, bringing your chest closer to sungchan’s body. he laughs at your current state, so touch starved you whimpering just from his hand and a few chaste kisses.

“you’re such a tease, you know that right?” sungchan said.

he’s amazed at how pliant you are, how you whimper a yes and nod your head. sungchan isn’t even trying to be dominant but you naturally follow everything he says. sungchan doesn’t know how he was so stupid to let you slip through his fingers.

sungchan’s hands underneath the water play with the ties on the sides of your bikini, undoing them with one simple motion. when you bring your head back up, you see your bikini bottoms floating on the surface of the jacuzzi. you whimper when you feel sungchan’s hand caress the skin of your thigh. he brings his hand so close to your folds before retreating playfully. he wants to hear you whine and beg for him.

“you wanna get fucked by your ex so bad, huh?” sungchan says.

when you only nod your head sungchan puts two fingers inside of you suddenly. your grip on his hair tightens and you can’t stop the moan that comes out.

“yes.” you moan.

you’re lucky the beach has cleared out. you can see the beach clearly from here, the dark water washing up higher and higher on the shore. anyone from the beach would be able to see sungchan’s back on your hand marking it. you’re sure people in the surrounding villas might be able to hear you as well.

the possibility of getting caught doesn’t stop sungchan at all. in fact, this only eggs him on to bring you to the brink faster. he figures that if he fucks you here you’ll let him carry you bridal style back into the villa so he can fuck you properly on bed. maybe next you’ll let him take you on the kitchen counter and then the couch while the television plays. if you’ll let him, sungchan will gladly have you up the rest of the night taking him over and over again while he asks you to give him a second chance. but for now, he has to settle with bending his fingers inside of you while he watches you try and collect your thoughts.

“so tight baby,” sungchan says. he adds another finger. “do you think you can even take it like you used to?”

you are able to come out of your state of bliss to nod your head eagerly.

“i can take it.” you mewl.

“are you sure?” sungchan teases.

“yes.” your whines have almost become cries as you look at sungchan desperately.

you start reaching for sungchan underneath his swim trunks, feeling his hard dick through the fabric. you squeeze him tight, the way you know he likes it. sungchan looks down at your hand underneath the water. you go to pull at his waistband and sungchan uses his free hand to help you. in no time both of your swim bottoms float together on the surface of the water.

you grab sungchan’s length and jerk him off desperately. you don’t remember the last time you felt like this, like a horny teenage doing everything in your power to get off. sungchan feeds off of it, and he wonders what he did today that has made you so pent up.

“can’t believe this is the same girl that wanted nothing to do with me a couple days ago.” sungchan says, humping your hand “what changed?”

you don’t have the answer for him. instead you just jerk him off faster as he lifts you underneath the water. you wrap your legs around his waist easily. he puts a hand on your back where you make contact with the edge of the pool so you don’t get scratched by the rough edge. this also helps him press your body against his.

“god i missed you so much,” sungchan says. “missed this pussy, too.”

“i missed you too.” you say pitifully.

you help sungchan guide his dick inside of you. you forgot the anticipation and excitement that bubbled over your entire body before sungchan would push into you. he takes you all in, pressing his lips against yours as he slides in.

you are both moaning pitifully into eachothers mouths, taken over by the stimulation. you hate to admit how close you are to asking sungchan to be your boyfriend again when he bottoms out. you missed the doting and the teasing and how he always made sure you feel good. he wastes no time picking up the speed, knowing how desperate you must be. you mentioned to him once that you liked when he didn’t always give you time to adjust and he still remembered by the way he fucks you.

“so fucking tight.” sungchan seethed.

“you’re so big.” you moaned.

“i know baby. i know.” sungchan mockingly cooed.

sungchan continues to work against the buoyancy of the water, causing tiny waves as he fucks you against the wall of the jacuzzi. you hold onto sungchan’s shoulders, digging your fingernails into his wet skin. he’s so big inside of you, your walls haven’t felt the stretch in so long. you can’t stop yourself from clenching around sungchan with each thrust, the way he grunts into your ear from the exertion has you clamping around him even more.

“your dick is perfect.” you say between each thrust.

sungchan smirks into your neck before biting the skin, causing you to clamp around him again. this time it’s sungchan moaning into your ear. his hand on your back is no help as you press into the edge of the jacuzzi, it’s a pain you welcome if it means sungchan continues to fuck you like this.

sungchan pulls away from your neck to look at your chest. the thrusts have your breasts breaking the surface of the water and sungchan watches in amazement as they jump up and down.

“so beautiful.” sungchan says.

“take off my top for me baby.” you tell him.

sungchan uses the hand on your back to undo the tie. immediately your boobs spill out, pressing against sungchan’s chest. this lights a flame underneath sungchan, he ruts his hips into yours desperately. his hand that was holding your hips up pries between your two bodies so he can press a finger to your clit. you dig your nails deeper into sungchan’s skin at the feeling, and he locks into your face as he speeds up his fingers.

“i’m close.” you whimper.

“me too.” sungchan says.

the thought of sungchan seeing you cum suddenly makes you nercous. you think it would be better to face the inside of the villa while you moan out his name. if you look at him in the face you might really do something you’ll regret.

“turn me around.” you say.

your words are breathless and broken off by sungchan’s ministrations. to your dismay sungchan shakes his head, the rare occasion he doesn’t listen to you. he only picks up his speed and your mouth opens.

“i wanna see your face,” sungchan says. he pauses just for a moment to lift your body up, letting you rewrap your legs around his hips. “is that alright?”

sungchan says it with a smirk on his face because he knows you’ll fold. not even a second elapses before you nod your head quickly, bringing his body closer to you with your legs.

“go ahead,” sungchan’s pace is unrelenting, some water splashes on your chin. “cum for me baby.”

you don’t last another second. a high pitched cry leaves your mouth and you slump against sungchan as you try desperately to come down. you con’t stop yourself from crying out his name and an i love you’s, something you always said when orgasming. sungchan says it right back to you as he finishes inside of you, hips stilling as you milk him dry.

both of you are slumped against the edge of the jacuzzi as you try to catch your breaths. sungchan is the first to come back down to earth, pushing his wet hair from his face as his covers your skin in kisses. he kisses your forehead, cheeks, nose, chin, anything his lips can reach. you come back down to earth in a panic, realizing you told your ex you loved him like you two were still together.

sungchan gets out of the jacuzzi first and silently offers a hand to you. you can already feel the wear of your body, slightly sore from pressing into the rough lip of the jacuzzi. you take sungchan’s hand, getting ready to tell him you didn’t mean the love confession. just like always he is one step ahead of you, kissing your lips before you can get a word out. he leads your through the door of the villa and starts heading towards the bedroom.

“let’s see if you still don’t mean it by the morning.” sungchan says

#01zfan: sungchan #sungchan smut #riize smut

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littlegodzilla · 4 months

Text

Well I heard someone might be a little down in the dumps today. It's been a while since I've posted anything here, but I wanted to do a little something to make you feel better.

I hope you like it

************

I can try.

Daryl Dixon x Fem Reader.

One shot.

@celtic-crossbow birthday present.

Warnings: M. Friends to lovers. Smut.

Words: 10k.

Summary: You and Daryl are good friends, but sometimes is good to try new things.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No. Stop... wait..." You gasp with a frown. "Stop, stop."

"What's wrong?"

"That I can't... I can't."

"What?"

"It's not going to work...I'm going home." You push his hands away from you, getting up from the bed, reaching for your clothes.

"But what's wrong with you? I thought you..."

"Yes, I wanted to, but you've been looking for my spot for fifteen minutes... it's not going to go well, I'd better go." You shake your head getting dressed.

"But don't leave me like this! At least let me finish."

"Use your hands, like I'm going to do when I get home." You tell him and quickly leave the room.

"You're such a bitch!"

You hurry out of the house, adjusting your jacket to your body, the weather is still nice, but the nights are starting to get cold. Your feet move fast towards home, you want to get home as soon as possible and get into bed, you'd even like to disappear if possible.

Things have changed. A lot if you stop to think about it. Alexandria has changed for a few years now, after the Wolves, the hordes of Walkers, The Whisperers and some Communities that tried to take over yours, but finally Alexandria is safe and you all live in tranquility, or at least what this new world allows you. Since then, since you have settled there, you have allowed yourself to free yourself a little, of course there will always be guards to keep, to go out for supplies, to fight, but when all is quiet, you allow yourself to be who you were before. You spend days on the porch or in the garden, reading, watching the clouds move, you help in the fields, with the animals, you teach the children, who are more and more in the community. You have boyfriends. You have sex, arguments, breakups. It almost feels like your old life, but something is not right now.

You have been dating Nathan for a few months now, thanks to Deanna you have a new calendar and the days don't go on forever. You've been going out with him for a while now, he's nice, you get along well, you have fun... but in bed you don't quite click. It's frustrating and a bit embarrassing, you've been running away like a rat, but you'd rather cut the relationship before things get even more strained.

You get home. You're going to spend a few days at Rick and Michonne's house, the last storm that hit Alexandria washed away part of the roof of your house, now you entertain yourself in the morning to fix it with the help of other colleagues, but you still have for a few days. You close the door with some violence, your anger coming out.

"Dun be so noisy. There’re children sleepin’." You hear a voice in the darkness.

"Fuck, Daryl!" you jump, holding a hand to your chest. "What the fuck are you doing in the dark?"

"I've just come up now." He says turning on a small light in the dining room. "Rick and I are gonna out fer few days."

"Well turn on the light, you could kill someone with a heart attack." You growl, looking sideways at him, he shakes his head.

"Sorry." He apologizes, you can feel his gaze running up and down you, making you nervous. "Bad night?"

"Frustrating." You reply in a curt tone, making it clear you don't want to talk about it. "Where are you going?" You'd rather change the subject. You know Rick doesn't get out of the community much since RJ was born helping Michonne with whatever she needs.

"Dunno. Not too far. Maybe a couple of days, no more than a week." he answers your question, shaking out his backpack a bit, rearranging the things inside. "Back Rick wants to go to Hiltop, need anythin’ from there?" he wants to know, you stand for a moment thoughtfully and gesture to him.

"Wait." You nod and trying not to make any noise, you go up to your room, coming down shortly after. "Here, give it to Maggie, please." You hand him a small letter. He looks at it, but nods, tucking it into his vest pocket. "Thank you. Have a safe trip and be safe." You ask.

"A'right. Night."

"Good night." You whisper looking at him again and go up to your room.

You've been traveling with Rick's group since they showed up by the Greene farm where you too had taken refuge after your parents were bitten and Hershel locked them in the barn. Your first impression with Rick Grimes' group was rough and wild, but you will never regret following him after that, thanks to him you had a real home in the prison, thanks to him you were still alive, thanks to him you now have this community, you are safe and happy. They are your family now and you know you can trust them, Maggie, Tara, Michonne, Rosita, they are your friends you can vent to, Carol sometimes acts more like a mother and that's not much older than you, but it's her instinct above all else. Carl and Sophia are little siblings to all of you, as are Judith and RJ.

You lie in bed, curling up, feeling your body pulse, the heat coursing under your skin, but you ignore it, your head dull, the anger still lingering. You close your eyes and try to sleep.

"Good morning." Michonne greets you that morning, carrying little RJ in her arms.

"Good morning." You greet her by putting the coffee pot on the stove for breakfast the two of you. "Hey, shorty." You touch his nose and smile looking at Michonne out of the corner of your eye. "Quiet night?"

"Until Rick left...I think he feels it, he's been restless after that." She tells you, tucking the child into her arms.

"Daryl told me it wouldn't be many days, they'll stop by Hiltop when they get back." You tell her, she nods and sighs.

"Sometimes I miss getting out and exploring the world."

"Me too, you can leave the little one with Rosita or Carol, for a few hours I don't think they'll mind."

"I know, but now I have the constant fear of... not coming back." She whispers and you look at her pityingly.

"Hey that's not going to happen, you're our samurai, no one can take you." You joke and she laughs low, chuckling. "Sit down, I've made breakfast."

"Thanks. If you keep this up I don't know if I'll let you go home." She jokes too. "Speaking of which, you came early last night, usually when you meet Nathan..."

"Yeah, well... we broke up..."

"Broke up? Why, what happened?" she sets RJ down in his highchair accepting the coffee you hand him.

"It wasn't working... we didn't quite click..." You explain on top of it, but start to explain more when she prods you a little.

"You know Nathan is going to get hysterical, they're going to say a lot of bullshit..."

"I don't care, at the end of the day I took off leaving him halfway through." You shrug your shoulders as you braid your hair into a braid.

"If you see him get too nervous, we can get him to shut up."

"Don't worry, Michonne, I'll manage."

After breakfast, you leave the Rick family's house, to go to work in the fields and with the animals, that afternoon you have guard duty too, it's going to be a long day, but at least it will help you to keep your head busy.

The whispers, gossip and looks soon spread through the community. Nathan, completely pissed off with you, goes out of his way to make it clear to every man in Alexandria that you are a slut. You try not to make a big deal out of it, but two weeks have passed and your neediness continues to grow and no one pays any attention to you, which makes the situation more frustrating

Daryl and Rick have been back from patrol for a week now, they've brought some people with them, they've made new deals with other communities that are starting to expand, they've even brought more supplies. They are at the bar that opened a year ago having a home brew, it's not great, but it's drinkable. Abraham, Eugene and Glenn are with them.

"We're expanding the southern part of the community." Rick explains to Glenn since he hasn't been around for a while. "We're opening up the walls bit by bit, keeping an eye on the hordes of Walkers and slowly moving the houses out of the compound."

"That's a good idea, we're expanding the farming area too, there are more and more of us and the houses are getting too small."

"If ya guys need help with construction we can form a posse." Daryl says as Abraham nods.

"Thanks, I'll talk to Maggie and Jesus." He nods grateful for the support of those who have always been his family.

"I tell you guys don't let that bitch fool you." They hear talking from another table. "She dried up and took off." He growls again. Daryl frowns.

"Who are they talking about?" Glenn asks curiously and Eugene snorts saying your name. Daryl's blue gaze bores into him.

"Apparently they had a relationship. But the thing didn't work out. They broke it off and he's running around talking all kinds of shit." He keeps talking, this time Abraham. "I've threatened to smash his face in, but he won't fucking listen to me." Daryl sees the anger under the ginger mustache.

"I'll have to go talk to him myself." Rick snaps tongue in annoyance.

"Hey, Nathan." Daryl raises his voice and almost the entire bar falls silent. "Why dun ya keep yer voice down?"

"What do you say, Dixon?" he replies, rising from his stool. Rick and the others tense up, but Daryl remains calm.

"That yer talkin’ shit ‘bout someone who ain't here and can't defend herself." He turns his head to look at him. "Besides, it's bullshit."

"And what the fuck do you know?" he roars, but Daryl doesn't flinch.

"I know ‘cause I've been with her too." His companions' eyes widen so wide they look like they're going to pop out of their sockets. "Ya should stop sayin’ she's a slut, maybe ya weren't able to touch her like she deserved." He spits at Nathan with a growl at the end of the sentence.

"And you do, redneck? Since when do you know what a pussy is?"

"Better than ya, like I see." He replies and when the man wants to pounce on him, the bar owner grabs him and pulls him out of there by force.

"Have you slept with her?" Abraham asks unable to contain himself any longer.

"Nah." He shakes his head, drinking from his beer.

"And why the fuck did you tell her that?"

"To get him to stop sayin’ that shit about her."

"But now they'll think she's your girlfriend." Rick tries to understand. "That's not going to get any guy to want to be with her again." Daryl gives them all a sidelong glance, and goes back to drinking from his beer.

"She's gonna be pissed." Eugene says what they're all thinking. "It's not like she's flirting with the men in this community all day, but she has her needs. Just like everyone else." Eugene says again. Daryl gives them a sidelong glance, but shrugs it off as unimportant.

It's frustrating. And you're pissed off. You don't know what's wrong with the men in the community, but they all avoid you like you're cursed, have a fatal disease, or worse. You don't need a steady partner either, but maybe you do need someone to give you some fucking affection.

"Is it that you guys are avoiding me or what's going on?" you growl when another fellow member waves at you from afar, but he looks scared.

"No, it's just... we don't want any trouble."

"Trouble about what? Hey if it's about Nathan, I understand being pissed, but that's only ever happened to me with him..."

"No, it's not about that, Daryl already said he had a big mouth."

"Daryl? I-I don't understand..."

"You're his girl, he said so. I'll pass on Dixon having me in his crosshairs."

You're speechless, you can't even defend yourself from what he just said before he walks away. What Daryl talked to them? That you're his girl? What's that all about? You don't understand anything. Yet as the pieces start to fall into place, your brow furrows, your cheeks flush as anger bubbles under your skin. You emerge from the bar almost like a basilisk ready to talk to the archer. You discover the motorcycle parked next to Rick's house, so you don't hesitate, you walk determinedly towards the basement door and slam it with all your might.

"Dixon, I know you're in there!" you bang on the door again. "Your bike is outside!"

You're tempted to turn around the house, go in the front door and kick down the basement door inside, but it's too late, surely the kids are already asleep. Then the door opens, Daryl looks at you confused from the other side, his hair is disheveled and his eyes are narrowed, it looks like you've woken him up. At another time you'd feel sorry for him, but you're still angry, so you walk in uninvited, crossing your arms.

"What are you doing?" You bark.

"What?" he grunts, rubbing his eyes. You realize then that he's only wearing his jeans, bare-chested and barefoot.

"What have you been going around saying?" you insist shaking your leg nervously.

"What ‘bout? The beer from the bar still has my head choking." He rubs his hair and cross his arms, hands under his armpits.

"What have you told Nathan? Or all the guys in the community? That we're boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"No. I didn't say 'girlfriend'." He shakes his head, understanding what you're saying at last. "I just shut his mouth. He was goin’ around callin’ ya slut and frigid. I just made him think the problem was his ‘cause he didn't know how to touch ya."

"That was my problem! You had no business butting in." You snort in frustration.

"I didn't want him to keep talkin’ bout ya like that." He's not upset, that much is obvious and it stresses you out more.

"Now all the guys are ignoring me! It's like they're afraid of me. No, they're afraid of you."

"M? Ain't gonna do anything to them."

"No, but they think I'm your girl." You remind him, waving your arms nervously. "You can go to the bar and talk to them, clear it up. Tell them we broke it off or it was a shag. But we're not together anymore."

"’kay." He shrugs. "Sorry."

"Well..." You tell him going to the door again. "Anyway... thanks." You look sideways at him. "I know you just wanted to help me and I appreciate it, but I deserve it too."

"Dun think so."

"I left him half-heartedly, I got frustrated, I couldn't... no matter how much he..." You have to admit you're embarrassed to talk about this with Daryl. "So he had a right to say all those things about me." You shrug turning back towards the door.

"I can try." Daryl speaks and you stop.

"What?" you turn to look at him.

"It's frustratin’, the need, wantin’ to finish but not getting there..." He advances towards you, slowly, calculating his steps. Your eyes follow his every advance feeling goosebumps rise on your skin. "Even when yer alone in yer room, it's as if ya've suddenly forgotten how yer own body works.”

"Y-yes..." You gasp, his thumb brushing your lower lips, his blue eyes sinking into you.

"I can try..." He says again. "Maybe it was just Nathan, that he really didn't know what he was doin’."

It's possible, but you're so enraptured in his gaze that you're unable to respond. Daryl holds you by the back of the neck, his nose brushing against yours.

"I only have one condition, close yer eyes." He whispers very close to your mouth.

You hesitate for a few seconds, not quite sure if you want to figure out how this is going to go on, but your eyes close. Seconds later, Daryl's lips are on yours, very lightly, slowly, they feel warm, but not nervous. The sensation makes you snap your eyes open, seeing Daryl staring at you. He breaks the kiss, but his hand is still holding the back of your neck.

"Close yer eyes."

"Y-Yes." You nod closing them again.

This time his mouth encompasses yours completely, his fingers closing tighter against your skin and hair, you don't hesitate to reciprocate, his lips moving against yours, his tongue entering your mouth and you moan low resting your hands on his bare chest. Daryl kisses the line of your jaw, down your neck, you throw your head back, leaning against the door. Daryl's mouth continues to run down your neck, you feel him bite against your racing pulse and you moan at the pleasure coursing through you. You close your eyes tighter, tempted to open them again to see what he's doing.

A squeak escapes your mouth as Daryl pulls you away from the door to make you walk towards his room. He pulls your shirt off, his large hands caressing your wide hips, moving down to your ass as his mouth kisses and bites your shoulder, moving down to your chest. Daryl's hands grip your ass tighter lifting you a few seconds off the floor then sitting you on his bed. Daryl kneels in front of you, his fingers brush your cheeks and lips, you can't see him because your eyes are still closed, but he smiles at you for being so obedient.

He unclasps your bra, his mouth once again running over the skin of your shoulders as he pulls down the straps of your bra before tossing it to the floor.

"Daryl..." A gasp escapes you.

His fingers grasp one of your breasts, he bites and kisses its shape before catching your nipple in his mouth, which he plays with inside his mouth, sucking, licking and nibbling at his pleasure, not neglecting your other nipple which he fiddles with between his fingers getting your head to start spinning, pleasure forming in your stomach, your body jerking. Daryl releases your nipple with a wet sucking sound, licks your skin with the gate of his tongue, from your sternum, down to your navel as he guides your body to lie on the bed. He bites your navel, licks your soft, bulging skin. His deft fingers unbuckle the belt of your pants as well as your boots quickly leaving you in your panties on his mattress. Daryl stops, giving you a little time to catch your breath, he sees you agitated, he doesn't want to make you nervous. He gets up from the floor, you are tempted to open your eyes again when you hear the sound of his belt slapping against the bedroom floor. You lick and bite your lip, waiting for what else Daryl is going to do with you. You feel his body lay down next to you, his mouth runs down your cheek and neck again, one of his arms wraps around your shoulders under your body, his other hand again caresses your belly, your hips, his fingers tighten on your thick thighs to spread your legs apart. You jerk, his hand under your neck covers your eyes as the fingers of his other hand caress your clothed pussy. You hold your breath for a few seconds, your heart racing, your skin too sensitive to his touch.

"Yer scared?"

"No..." You assure him and swallow hard.

"Anxious." He understands then, caresses your mons, slowly moving down, finding the opening of your folds, feeling the dampness of your underwear. "Needy." He kisses your cheek, your mouth, your tongues tangle in a passionate battle.

You arch your back, Daryl's fingers begin to move in circles over your clit, you spread your legs wider to give him better access, still kissing. You dare to touch him at last, one of your hands grips the back of his neck, pulling his hair slightly, your other hand holds his wrist, not stopping him, perhaps daring to guide him a little, before reaching for your breast and stimulating your own nipple. The hunter's pupils dilate, at the sight of you, his fingers on your clitoris move faster.

"Ya like this, ain't ya?" he whispers against your ear, catching that same nipple you're touching, in his mouth, you withdraw your hand, moaning louder.

"Daryl!”

You're so close, you can feel it, how the pleasure starts coursing through your whole body to pool in your lower belly, you're so close already, your eyes roll under Daryl's palm.

"No, not yet." He denies you and his fingers stop the moment.

"What?" you sound desperate, but you don't care, you were touching the best orgasm in a long time and he's denied you.

"Hold on a little." He asks you, releasing you.

Again the urge to open your eyes and say what he's thinking comes over you, but you hold tightly to the sheets as Daryl grabs your panties by the edges of the waistband. You lift your hips to help him get rid of them, the garment getting tangled around one of your ankles. Your heart races faster as you are aware of what Daryl wants to do to you and you bite your lip again.

"Nathan didn't know how to touch ya." You hear him speak. "I barely touched y’ and look how yer already." He scoffs, his fingers running along your folds.

"Don't... Don't talk about him now." You protest with a thread of a voice hearing him chuckle.

Daryl settles between your legs, spreading them a little further apart, his thumbs parting your folds watching your entrance press against nothing. When his tongue brushes your skin, hot, wet, you jump, your hips thrust against his mouth and Daryl devours you like a starving man. His tongue runs up and down your cunt, between your folds, prodding at your entrance, working its way in, he grunts and purrs at your taste, his lips close and press against your clit, sucking, pressing to heighten your pleasure. Which soon begins to swirl in your lower belly again. You close your eyes tightly, clutch the sheets between your fingers, until your knuckles turn white. Your legs jerk, in your mind you beg for it not to stop again. The air gets stuck in your lungs as one of his fingers finds its way into your core moving in and out, adding a second finger, increasing the pleasure, you spread your legs further apart, moving your hips against his hand. You feel him getting closer and closer, stronger and stronger. Daryl has no intention of stopping, but the point he's taking you to is too much.

"Daryl, wait, wait..." You moan, but you can't stop him in time.

You cum, with a long moan, in surprise and pleasure, you let yourself go, feeling yourself squirt and splash on Daryl's face. It's not the first time you've cum like this, it had happened to you before with other boyfriends who had known how to touch your exact spots, but from experience not everyone liked the experience and you didn't want this to ruin the moment.

"Fuck... Daryl, I'm sorry..." You say apologetically, covering your face with both hands.

"Did ya squirt?" He lifts his head, licking his lips. "I've never seen a woman do that..."

"I-I'm sorry..."

"Can ya do it again?"

"Can we pretend it didn't happen and..." You uncover your eyes and look at him, you can't help yourself. "What?"

"Could ya do it again?"

"I- I don't know..." You stammer, completely confused, it's the first positive reaction you've had to this.

“Find out?"

He kisses you again, intense, needy, his teeth biting your lips, his tongue fucking your mouth, his hand covers your eyes again and you close them just the same, lying back, letting his fingers cover your core again, overstimulating your clit, fucking you with his fingers, bringing you to another orgasm, this time faster than before. Your fingers tangle in his hair, you can't help it, and you bite him on the cheek as you cum again, soaking his fingers. Daryl protests at the bite, but his fingers don't stop until you close your legs and hold his wrist.

"Turn around." He tells you in a husky voice.

He releases you and turns away from you.

You do as he asks, turn around, hug the pillow, using it to cover your face, spread your legs apart, dig your knees into the mattress and raise your hips. Behind your back you hear Daryl rummaging for something and the tearing of plastic. You're about to say that at your age you're not worried about getting pregnant, but you're grateful that he's worried about the possibility or you getting something. You gasp as he returns to your side, pushes you slightly further forward, holds you by the waist and guides his cock to your entrance, pushing himself inside, bit by bit. You open your eyes wide, holding your breath, feeling him stretch you, working his way up until he's wedged inside you. You hear him huff and puff, gripping your hips with both hands, he slowly pulls out again, tearing a gasp from you, and you groan as he thrusts in a single thrust, taking on an almost cruel rhythm. Fucking you fast and hard, his fingers digging into the skin of your wide hips. Your moans echo in the room, muffled by the creak and squeak of the bed with each thrust Daryl delivers.

"Oh my God..." You moan holding onto the pillow, bucking your hips against his cock, moving to the opposite direction of his thrusts.

"Fuck..." You hear him say and his movements become more desperate.

The pace is fast, clumsy, sloppy, he's reaching his limit, you can sense it by how tightly he grips your body. But that's not what surprises you the most, it's the fact that he's going to get you to cum again. Three times, since before the apocalypse that hasn't happened to you.

"Daryl, Daryl!" you moan, your toes curling as you tense and clench around his cock.

You hear him curse through his teeth and your orgasm takes over as he spanks your ass hard as he too cums staying still inside you as he unloads and fills the condom.

You both need to catch your breath, you can feel him rocking forward, but he doesn't quite land on your body, his fists are resting on the mattress. You gasp hard against the pillow, trying to process everything that just happened, to stop your knees from shaking.

Daryl steps carefully away from you, you hear his footsteps getting lost down the hallway, all the way to the bathroom, you guess, until you hear the flush of water running. Maybe it's your cue. Maybe it's time for you to grab your clothes and leave. You don't wait for him to tell you. Still feeling weak in the knees, you grab your clothes from the floor, get dressed quickly, leaving the room with your shoes still in your hand. You pass him at the bathroom door. You don't quite know what to say, but he doesn't seem to expect you to either.

“Night." He says.

"G-good night..." You reply, lowering your gaze, walking out of the basement.

You're not sure you'll be able to sleep that night with how fast your heart is beating.

You watch the sunrise. Lying in your bed, looking up at the ceiling, you slowly watch the moon leave its place for the sun, the first rays are annoying, but then you get out of bed. Ready to go on with your daily routine. That makes you think, what's going to happen now between you and Daryl? How should you talk to him? Look at him? What exactly did it mean?

You've known Daryl for years, you've seen him change, that transformation that earned the trust of his entire group, you've seen him fail, make mistakes, but also be loyal, faithful, a friend and protector, you've even seen him joke and laugh when he thought no one was watching. You know his true loyalty is with Rick and Carol, they are the most important people to him, even though he loves the whole group, they are the ones he would give his life for the most. Still, being wandered back and forth and in prison, he took time and patience to teach you how to defend yourselves, how to hunt and how to be invisible. You can say you are friends, almost certainly, you know that if you asked him for help or a favor, he would do it. But this is different. You're not blind, Daryl has his own charm. Many women have noticed that appeal too. Quiet and grumpy, but at the same time he has a big heart. It's also true that you've never seen him with a woman or a man either, but it's clear he knows what he's doing and how he's doing it... maybe before the world went to hell he was in a relationship, or in his travels from community to community he's met other women he's had fun with... no, Daryl's not like that, you don't see him that way.

You let out air loudly through your mouth, trying to stop thinking about it, you adjust your clothes and leave the house to head to the farm area, Olivia gave you a list of things that needed to be replenished in the store room; Beans, tomato, squash if there were still any left, you were starting to plant cabbages as well and although they are not your cup of tea, you are excited to see how the first ones are starting to emerge, slowly forming. It's ironic, how little you loved getting up early on your parents' farm to help them with the work in the fields and how much you treasure it now. You still hate mosquitoes, though.

"Good morning." You raise your head when you see Carol right in front of you, with such a characteristic smile. You smile too.

"Good morning, Carol." You greet her, carefully plucking some tomatoes, dropping them in the box you bring with you. "Do you need anything?"

"I've come to get some carrots and squash to make a couple of pies." She tells you walking into the field with you. "I talked to Olivia and she gave me permission." She jokes, making you smile again. "How are you, I see you in a better mood than you've been these days." She comments absentmindedly and you open your eyes wide.

You know you can't hesitate with her, Carol is quiet but she knows how to observe and as the mother of the group, she will worry if she sees you take too long to answer or try to make up a lie.

"Y-yes, it's just that I went to talk to Daryl yesterday." Your voice trembles for a second and you clears your throat.

"Oh, so that was you, Michonne said someone almost woke RJ up because they were banging on the garage door."

"Shit..."

"Don't worry, I think Rick already calmed her down."

"Argh, I don't want to know about that..."

"So were you able to talk to Daryl?" She asks you again, helping her pluck the carrots. "You know he sometimes acts without thinking, but he doesn't mean it."

"It's like you're talking about a puppy or a child..."

"What's the difference?" she jokes, making you laugh, but yes, if you told her what Daryl had done to you she wouldn't think of him as a child.

"We were able to talk and he told me he'd clear it up, so I was more at ease."

Carol shoots you a curious look, you frown slightly, waiting for her to say something, but the woman remains in a state of mystery. When you finish filling your boxes, you walk together toward Olivia's storage room.

"What, are you going to tell me what's on your mind or not?" You say because you can't stop seeing her smile.

"It's nothing, it's just that your 'courtship' gave a lot of buzz."

"Oh yeah?" You look at her curiously.

"Sure, believe it or not, Daryl has a lot of popularity among women." She nods, your eyebrows raise higher making her laugh.

"But... I've never seen Daryl with a girl... Do you know if he's ever had a girlfriend?"

"Well, we know he's tricky when it comes to making friends, but yeah, I know he had a thing with a girl he met in the woods... you know, after what happened with Negan, that time he took to himself." You nod. "And Connie..."

"I knew it!" You blurt out, perhaps shouting louder than you should have. "I knew it...I thought it was so cute that he wanted to learn sign language." You laugh softly, Carol nods. "But Connie."

"She's in the Commonwealth, you know she comes to see us from time to time, but last time, she told us she'd met someone there."

"Poor Daryl..."

"He was the first one to be happy for her, he's always been so good at heart."

"Yes... And what about the other girl?"

"I didn't know her." She shrugs. "But he told me she didn't want to come to Alexandria, he made her choose and when Daryl went looking for her, she was gone."

"...Do you think he misses her?"

"I don't know, this happened even before Connie, maybe he has her as a good memory, but I don't think so... Why?"

"No, curiosity, like I'm telling you, I've never seen him with a woman and... now you've blown me away."

"Daryl is so much more than you think."

Those words ring in your ears for the rest of the day. Yes, it's true, you found out that very night, when you showed up over there and he did with you whatever he wanted, whatever you let him, but it's not just that. You've discovered that Daryl has his little secrets, he's had his romances, his little love stories. None of them have ended, maybe, well and maybe that's why he's still elusive but it makes you want to know more, it makes you think about you, what has what happened meant to him? Should you talk about it?

"Hey..." His voice pierces your ears, making you raise your head. You're helping Olivia with the warehouse inventory and he's peeking through the garage door.

"Hi..." You whisper, you feel nervous and your hands move awkwardly, you don't know where to put them and you fold your arms. "Are you here to get something?"

"Carol." He answers with a nod. "I was told she had gone to the orchard, have ya seen her?"

"She came all the way out here with me, she was bringing some stuff to make some pies, I guess she's home."

"Nah... she ain't there, I've already looked for her."

"Uhm... maybe she's at the mill, or she's gone to help Rosita with Coco..." You give him several options seeing how he shrugs. "Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm gonna go to Hiltop." He tells you. "Maggie and Glenn need help there, I'm taking a group for a few days. I just wanted to say goodbye."

"Oh... You've already got the posse closed?"

"Yeah, wanna come?" He shifts his body weight from one foot to the other, squeezing the crossbow band with his hand.

"Uhm no, if you've already got it all organized."

"No, ya can come, if ya wanna, the more hands we have the better." He shakes his body, raising his hands.

"Okay." You nod, you really feel like going to Hiltop, see Maggie, maybe talk to her about what happened with Daryl. "I'll pack the backpack and..."

"Okay, let Rick know, we'll wait for you at the gate."

"Okay."

It looks like things haven't changed between you and Daryl. You're relieved about that. Thinking about how you should act from now on was weighing you down a bit, but the hunter doesn't show any sign of discomfort, or approach either, it's a bit disappointing, but you prefer it that way, you don't want the friendship you have with him to be ruined. Once you have your pack ready, you grab your Halberd and run off in search of the group, Daryl is waiting for you along with a couple of wagons with the horses, your companions and the gear you're going to need.

"Hop on." The archer says to you, looking at the bike. You nod, climbing on without hesitation. It's not the first time you've ridden together on his bike.

On the ride nothing is out of the ordinary, except for how fast your heart feels. You're used to riding the bike with him, but your head is going a mile a minute. Daryl slows down a little as you ride over the bridge you built a few years ago, the vibration of the wheels going over it sends a tingle through your body and you hug a little tighter to Daryl's body. He looks over his shoulder at you, smiles and speeds off again. Arriving at Hilltop fills you with excitement, you almost jump off the bike when the gates open and you finally stop. Maggie, Glenn and Jesus are the first to greet you. You run straight to your friend, hugging her tightly. It's been days since you've seen her, she takes care of the whole community with her husband and Jesus, she had too many obligations on her back.

"I didn't know you were coming."

"I joined the group at the last minute." You smile, hugging Glenn and Jesus too.

"Good, because I hadn't gotten around to responding to your letter yet." He looks at you apologetically and you shake your head. "We've been pretty busy."

"I can see that, I love how you guys are rebuilding it, after what happened with the Whisperers." You sigh. "It's almost like going back to our parents' farm."

"Yeah... come on, we'll show you where you'll be sleeping these days." Glenn gestures for you to leave your things there.

The wagons are put aside, the animals are taken to the stable. Your companions are housed in different wooden cottages and you and Daryl are taken to another, slightly larger, two-bedroom cottage.

"We didn't know you were coming, but I guess you don't mind sharing the house."

"No, no problem." Daryl shakes his head. "It's not the first time."

"No, I remind you that I was the one putting up with his snoring in prison." You joke and hear him snort.

"My snoring? The one moving the walls was you."

"No way!" You look at him offended, watching a small smile form on his mouth.

"I'll leave this here." He changes the subject, dropping his backpack on the couch. "I'm gonna go with the others, to find out what we're doin’ tomorrow."

"Okay, I'm going with Maggie and Jesus."

"Okay." He nods before leaving the house.

With your friend and Jesus you go up to the main house of Hilltop, they have restored it, it is almost as majestic as it once was, no doubt they are trying their best to preserve that place. You feel a little uneasy, you didn't want to make a big deal out of it, seeing that Daryl hasn't changed his attitude towards you, but after what Carol has told you about his courtship, you need to talk to someone about it.

"We've been scouting the northeast area, we've covered more ground since the last checkpoint, across the bridge. We've found some settlements..." Maggie begins to speak as you enter her office.

"I've slept with Daryl." You throw up, unable to contain yourself any longer. Jesus and Maggie raise their heads at the same time.

"What?" is all you can say.

"Are you dating Daryl?" he dares to ask. He doesn't want to get too much into the conversation, but curiosity gets the better of him too.

"No..." You avert your gaze, but you know you've captured Maggie Rhee's undivided attention.

You forcefully release air through your mouth, wanting to shake off the weight you feel on your back. You start talking, you tell her what happened with Nathan, how the relationship started to deteriorate, the little connection you had in bed and how you left his house leaving him in the middle. You then explain to him that Daryl tried to defend himself in his own way, tangling things up a bit more and when you wanted to talk to him, things cleared up, but you were surprised by his proposal.

"Was he the one who told you?" Maggie is getting more and more intrigued.

"Yes...and it was..."

"Okay! I don't want to know so many details!" Jesus refuses. "I'm leaving, when you're done, we'll talk." He tells you and leaves quickly.

"But don't say anything. Daryl keeps treating me as usual, it's not weird or awkward... I don't want things to get complicated."

"But...do you like him?"

"Daryl? Well..." You get quiet all of a sudden.

"Come on, haven't you ever thought about it?"

"I don't know. Have you?"

"No! I have Glenn."

"Let's see...he's changed a lot since we met him at your dad's farm...not just physically, I'm aware of that, but I never thought he...well nor that he could...like me." You shrug.

"Why not?"

"I don't know!" you groan in despair, covering your face with both hands. "I always thought Carol and him, but... well, we're friends..."

"Glenn and I started out that way." He tells you. "Sort of... and now we're married and we have Hershel."

"That last part doesn't bother me, getting pregnant at my age..."

"You can always adopt, like Aaron."

"First we'll figure out what this is, then we'll talk about kids..."

Maggie smiles broadly, you feel your cheeks flush, but you try to concentrate on what's important, the plans your friend was talking about with Jesus, the settlements found, the departures to talk to them, expand the circle of allies or prepare for a new battle. You spend hours planning, talking, rewriting everything they have to show it to Rick and Michonne, planning something also with Ezekiel. When you finish with your meeting you make a dinner for all the people of Hilltop, you use a huge kitchen that they have installed in the main house, there are a few of you who move between the stoves and tables, leaving everything ready. You feel your heart warming up as you look around you, discovering that everyone is enjoying that moment, the peace and calm that surrounds all those people. You look across the table when your eyes connect with Daryl's on the other side, next to Glenn and a few others, he stares at you, you can see him smiling sideways, a smile forms on your mouth as well and you look away, focusing on the food on your plate.

Your heart beats so hard you feel it pounding against your bones.

When dinner is over you feel your body pass you a ton. After all the travel, the community involvement and then the relaxation you've felt from being at dinner, it has taken all your strength. As you enter the house you almost throw yourself on the couch, but Daryl holds you down.

"No, no." He says. "Go to bed." He orders you. "Tomorrow we're gonna start work and ya need to be in top shape."

"Bossy..."

"Get used to it, although I dun think ya care sometimes." He subtly pushes you toward the room you've decided is going to be yours. You know what he means. You've understood his little dig. You turn to look at him, but he just points to your room with his chin. "Night." He says and disappears into his own room.

"Good night..." You whisper at his door.

Things are definitely business as usual. You know what Daryl is doing, he's feeling out the situation, trying to figure out the same thing you are, that everything is fine, that there's no conflict, that you can still call each other friends. Still, you can't help but smile, he tries to flirt with you too, carefully, dropping his words, waiting to see their effect. You wonder again what would have happened if that woman had returned with him to Alexandria or Connie hadn't stayed in the Commonwealth.

******************

Jobs are hard at Hilltop, everyone cooperates to raise the houses, expand the walls surrounding the city, protect the fields, outside Hilltop, so that the Walkers don't enter and destroy everything. Also to keep the animals safe.

Maggie has wanted to know on several occasions how things have been going with Daryl, if there have been any problems, you repeat to her several times that no, it's fine, not to insist on it. Anyway, you come home exhausted every day, the only thing you think about is taking a shower and going to sleep.

Your body is much more relaxed when you get out of the shower, the mist on your skin is the perfect sign that you've used up all the hot water. You feel a little bad for Daryl, but you know he'll understand.

"Rough day?" You hear Daryl's voice from his bedroom door.

"Same as yours." You look at him, he's showered too, before you, so he was already home when you've arrived.

"Come..." He whispers in a little roar that ruffles your hair.

"Okay." You whisper as well walking over to where he is.

Your body weighs down on Daryl's, you arch your back feeling the pleasure coursing through you as the archer, grabbing your ass, helps you move over him and he cums letting out a gasp in a grunt. You lay back on his chest, trying to catch your breath, Daryl's hands are still on your ass, you can feel his fingertips close, squeezing your ass, almost making you laugh.

"I don't know if I'll be able to go to my room..." You say with a trickle of voice.

"Ya can stay here. Dun gotta leave."

**************

There they are again, those same young women who have been after him for several weeks now. You frown slightly. Daryl has just returned from another trip of a few days, this time he brings some gasoline and parts that will be used to reinforce the walls of the community and continue its expansion, your people come and go constantly, some of you stay longer inside the high walls to take care of the city, but he is constantly out, which makes seeing him come back always a relief.

As soon as he drops the bike in front of his front door, there's already a group of girls nearby, wanting to help him, all talking at once, hovering around him, touching him without his permission. What do they intend?

"I think if you keep staring so hard you'll get some of them blown up." You listen beside you. Your heart leaps inside your chest, you raise your head, discovering Carol right next to you. You didn't even realize when she got there.

"I don't know..." You try to make something up, but she sits, on the porch, grabbing another shirt to help you. You're mending some clothes, small holes, adding patches of denim or leather to make them sturdier. Out of caution.

"Are these the girls you told me about?" She asks you again, you just nod.

"They've been after him like headless chickens for weeks." You sigh fixing your gaze for a moment on the patch you're sewing, the last thing you need is to stab a finger. "No matter what time, they're always waiting for him in front of his house."

"How do you know that, do you spy on him?"

"What? No! But we're neighbors, I see them walking past my house and..."

"I don't think you need to worry. I'm pretty sure Daryl has no interest in girls that young."

That shuts you up, also stopping in your tasks. You look up directing your gaze back to Daryl, the girls and now Rick is talking to his brother, the two of them seem engrossed in an important conversation. Ignoring the archer's small fan club.

"I-I don't mean age... Daryl can be with whoever he wants, but it bothers me that they think it's so simple, that he's going to notice them dressed... like this..."

You can feel that like this slipping out of your mouth. There is disappointment and frustration in such a small word. They're young and you understand that, despite the world you live in, they like to draw attention to themselves, feeling safe behind those walls, but you don't think those tiny jean shorts and tight t-shirts are the right bait with Daryl.

"You think Daryl isn't a man who notices pretty legs or a pair of boobs?" Carol asks, mockery and irony shaking her question. You grunt, shaking your head.

"No, of course he'll like those things, but I mean..."

"Are you afraid they'll take him away from you?" Attacks Carol again and that leaves you speechless.

After what happened at Hilltop, you've talked to the group. You've ended up telling them all, whatever is going on between you and Daryl. Maybe your main idea was to take a load off your mind, to clear your head, but you were also hoping for some kind of advice, some encouragement from them. But you only found curiosity and gossip, which makes that every time Daryl is around or comes up in a topic of conversation, mocking looks fall on you, wanting to disappear.

"No. I'm not afraid they'll take him away from me. He's nothing of mine." You fight back, feeling yourself start to get angry, nervous. It always happens to you when you're cornered. "But I think if they knew him well, they'd know that Daryl is not one to be swayed by first impressions, and it's obvious that they're just trying to get his attention because of his physique..."

"They want to have fun with him, yes, that's obvious." Carol agrees, calming down her game a bit when she realizes she's pulling on you too much. "But you know Daryl and you shouldn't worry. I doubt he'll fall for their game."

"I'm not worried...but I find it a little depressing that every day they do the same thing, like hoping that in the end, out of desperation, he'll agree."

"As I say, I don't think you should worry, he's clear about his own interests." Says the white-haired woman again.

You raise your head once again directing your gaze towards the hunter. Rick nods his head several times, Daryl speaks and expresses himself with his whole body, with quick and nervous gestures, but both men seem to come to an agreement. Rick taps him on the shoulder affectionately, helping him with the gas canisters he has brought, Carl is also there to lend a hand, Abraham and Olivia, who notes down everything the archer has brought. Leaving the bike and the empty trailer, Daryl is left alone again, well, the group of young people is still by his side, waiting to get his attention, but the man passes by. Between his hands he fiddles with a piece of paper, it looks like a new list of things to do or bring. You tense slightly as you realize he is walking directly toward your house, toward Carol and you. The girls call out to him, but they stay back, they never get too close when he's with any of you, whether it's Denise, or Rosita or whoever, they prefer to talk to him when he's alone. Or at least try to.

"Here comes Romeo."

"Carol!" you groan, looking at her with wide eyes.

"Hey Pookie!" The woman greets him, ignoring your reproachful voice. "How was the ride?"

"Fine, fine. I brought gas from a stand that traded it for Walkers, they have huge barrels, ain't sure where they get it from or how it stays stable, but it'll help us for a few days." He comments with his voice in a growl. Carol nods. "I've also brought some parts Eugene needed for the radio, I'm going with him to the Commonwealth to see Princess and Merce, Rick has some stuff for them." He shrugs. You raise your eyebrows.

"You're leaving again?" you blurt out, perhaps sounding more distressed than you intend.

"Yes, tomorrow, I'll get some sleep today, pack a car with everything I need and leave early." She nods chewing her lip several times.

"But you just got here..." it sounds almost stupid and you watch as he just shrugs, not understanding why it's a problem.

It's not a problem, there's no problem really. You understand that it's his job, that despite how long Alexandria is his home, Daryl is more comfortable outside the walls, it's his spirit animal, it's who he is. But it's a selfish feeling, you'd like to see him at least a few days over there, calmly, simply enjoying the day, with you, perhaps, doing nothing else. A single heartbeat, strong, forceful against your chest makes you aware of what you have just thought. Your pulse quickens as your face must reflect everything you are thinking, for the faces of your companions change, they look worried.

You want him to stay in Alexandria, with you.

Fuck…

"Are you okay?" Carol asks you.

"Y-Yeah, just..."

"Wanna come to the Commonwealth?" Daryl's voice brings you out of your bubble completely.

"What?" you feel a little stupid for your question.

"It's a good idea." Rick's presence catches you by surprise. You hadn't even seen him, he's there, standing in front of you, hands on hips, with a kind and calm gesture, but at the same time he has an amused gleam in his eye. He knows something, surely Michonne has told him something. "Juanita is going to need help organizing the party she has planned, I'm also going to send Rosita, Enid, Eugene and another group to help, to organize it with Max as well."

"Yes, that's a good idea, besides it's been days since you've been out, I'm sure Connie will be glad to see you." You're encouraged by Carol, for a second you want to ask if she'll be happy to see you or Daryl, but you bite your tongue in time.

"Well, okay, that way I can see how Princess is doing too." You agree although still a little nervous. Daryl nods his head.

"Get some clothes ready, a backpack and we'll leave first thing tomorrow morning."

"Okay..." You nod watching as they all slowly leave, leaving you alone again with Carol.

"You really like him." She comments. It's not a question, there's no hesitation. She just mentions something so obvious it makes you shudder.

"I..." You gasp nervously, looking at Daryl.

"It's possible that you always liked him, but that none of them would have noticed."

"Sounds like a cheesy romance novel..." You mutter and she laughs.

"More like an erotic novel, don't you think?" she jokes getting your cheeks to flush bright red.

You decide to set about getting your things ready after your conversation with Carol. You don't want to think about it too much. Have real feelings for Daryl. Not just the sporadic sex you two have. That makes you nervous and anxious at the same time, you'd like to talk to the archer, ask him if he feels the same way too, but at the same time, you're afraid that he doesn't, and it will all end drastically and awkwardly for both of you.

You leave your backpack, your weapons, your things in general ready at the side of the bed. You go over the edge of your halberd, it's been days since you've been outside the walls of Alexandria, you want to have everything ready so that there won't be any problems later. At night you find it hard to fall asleep, you are nervous about the trip, it's nothing new, it has always happened to you. Sitting on your couch, with a book in your hands and a dim light, you try to lure yourself to sleep so you can go to bed when you hear a knock at the door. Frowning slightly, you put the book down on the couch to open the door. Daryl is on the other side. Maybe in another situation you'd be surprised he was there, but not now. A small smile forms on your mouth in greeting, he gives you a sidelong glance before entering the house as you step aside. The door closes slowly, neither of you needing to say anything. You lean against the wall as Daryl leans into you, kissing you slowly. Your arms go around his neck, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

Falling asleep after that was much easier.

The next morning, the two of you wake up in your room, not for the first time, here or in Daryl's basement, since that night at Hilltop, sleeping together is also an option and in the mornings it doesn't feel strange, neither the situation, nor the conversation. Daryl gives a gentle touch to one of the legs lying on top of his, waking you up completely. You rub your eyes lazily to look up at him out of the corner of your eye. He looks asleep too, but greets you with a small smile.

"Morning." He grunts, you just hum, unable to find your voice yet. "I'm gonna go home to get my things, gotta everythin’ ready?"

"Yes...but, don't you want some breakfast first?" You offer, looking at him already with your eyes fully open and awake. He shakes his head.

"I'll eat something while I get the bike organized." He comments, you nod letting him free, you move your legs aside, Daryl gets up looking for his clothes.

"Okay, so I'll meet you later at the main house by the warehouse to get the wagon and horses."

"Okay." He nods, getting up, putting on the black sweater and vest.

Even today you find it painful to look at his back, there are many new scars due to the new world you live in, you all have them, but nothing compared to what the hunter has tattooed on him from his previous life. You sigh, earning Daryl a raised eyebrow, you shake your head.

"I don't know if I'll be able to get up." You joke, not wanting to worry him with your real thoughts. Daryl laughs through his nose, lowering his head, hiding his red cheeks with his hair.

"Don't be long, the Commonwealth is far, we need all day to get there, dun want us to get caught in the night." He asks you and you nod your head.

"Yes, sir." You smile, earning an intense stare, but the archer leaves without another word.

Later, already prepared, with your pack and weapons with you, you're finishing off the last few boxes in the wagon, Olivia making a list of everything you're taking with you as you tie the horses to the wagon. Daryl approaches down the same street, Rick meets him at the door of the house, greeting him with a gentle touch on the back to which the hunter responds with the same touch. Eugene and the rest of the group accompanying you are also ready to leave.

"I'll go ahead with the bike." Daryl says. "We'll position ourselves around the wagon to avoid any kind of assault or any Walkers getting too close."

"The group stay well aware, we know what the way there is like, we have communities that are allies, but there are always people who don't respect the rules." Rick speaks as well. "Don't waste ammunition unnecessarily, but don't be intimidated either."

"Don't worry, boss." Abraham says getting into his car. "We'll call in on the radio as soon as we get there."

"Go carefully." He asks you and you all set off.

Before you leave the community you see Carol standing by the front door, waving goodbye to you. A mischievous smile runs across her mouth and you look down, you know what's going through her mind and you don't want her to see your face turn red. A new trip with Daryl, which will keep you out of the community for a few days, surely Princess will offer you the hunter's old apartment, where he lived with the Grimes family. Thinking about it makes your stomach clench, butterflies flutter loudly almost making you dizzy. You shake your head to get those thoughts out of your head. The trip is going to be a long one, you need to stay alert on the road, the last thing you want is for your companions to end up in trouble because of your fantasies.

**********************

Princess and Merce are waiting for you at the huge gates of the Commonwealth when you arrive late at night. The sun is already setting leaving the uncertainty of the night behind you, but it has been an intense journey. You have been caught in an ambush of Walkers, two or three of which you have been able to deal with without much trouble, but further along the same road, they were cutting you off. Among them there was still some Whisperer, guiding them, using them as a shield to continue to survive. The supplies and yourselves are fine, but you arrive tired, covered in blood and mud, which does not prevent your friend from hugging you when you enter the community. Juanita gives Daryl a gentle hug, she has known the hunter for less time than some of you, but has learned that displays of affection with him are brief, with the rest she allows herself to give you a tight hug, smiling broadly and even laughs when she hugs Rosita, excited. Yumiko, Magna and Connie are also waiting for you in the main square, Max runs directly to hug Eugene who wraps his arms around her, happy to see her again. Merce approaches you giving you a handshake, the soldier is still stiff and formal, despite no longer working under anyone's orders.

"It's good to see you again." You hear Daryl mutter, out of the corner of your eye you see him gesturing to Connie. She smiles broadly, giving him a hug that he accepts without hesitation.

You don't like the way you feel at that moment. Connie is a wonderful person and an excellent friend, for your stomach to cringe like that when you see them together, you don't like it. You don't want to feel that way. You and Daryl are nothing and they seem to fit together perfectly. You wonder again what would have happened if the two of them had decided to stay in Alexandria or come to the Commonwealth together. You'd possibly see Daryl a lot less and you'd never have figured out those feelings you have for him.

"Shit..." You mumble under your breath. Magna looks up, they're getting the stuff from the cart where you are.

"Everything okay?" she asks you leaving several boxes in a small trailer being taken away by other soldiers from the community.

"What? Oh, yeah, it's just... it's been a long trip." You lie, though not entirely. Truth be told a shower and a bed wouldn't hurt right about now.

"Okay, let the boys take care of this, come with us." Princess says, taking her partner's hand and you all walk towards the main building. You have a small meeting at the entrance. Max hands out a few things among you, apartment keys, a few bags with some towels and food already prepared.

"We have placed most of you in your old apartments, the rest of you are also relocated to various houses. If you don't know how to get there, we'll drive you, I think some of you are coming to the community for the first time." She says looking at some of the companions who have come with you.

"There is hot water so you can take a shower, the apartments are clean and we have prepared something to eat for you." Max explains as well. "We guess you guys are exhausted, we'll talk about the party tomorrow."

"Daryl." Merce speaks after a while observing the situation. "You guys we've put you in Rick and the kids' old house. Where you were living."

"A'right, thanks... I figure it's time for a well deserved rest." He looks at you, your body trembles, you didn't expect him to invite you, although it's clear, where else would you go? Well maybe in some other apartment, or with Rosita and Coco.

You detect out of the corner of your eye how Connie looks at the two of you, curiously, and then she smiles biting her lip. You open your eyes wide, nervous, feeling your cheeks burn. Something knows, something senses, which is reaffirmed when Daryl gives you a tap to get your attention, you snap out of your self-absorption to look at him.

"Cmon?"

"Y-yeah, see you tomorrow." You smile a little.

"Is there something I should know?" You listen to Merce talk to Princess.

"Later at home I'll explain it to you." She replies kissing your cheek. "Everyone to rest." She gives the others permission to retire.

"You're good at being the boss." Rosita tells her, cradling Coco in her arms.

"Nope. Merce take care of everything, I just pretend I know what I'm talking about." She jokes, making the small group laugh. "People are a lot calmer now that things aren't ruled...well, like they used to be." He shrugs.

A party. The thought keeps running through your mind as you walk the dark but quiet streets of the Commonwealth. True, things are quiet, it almost seems like the world you once knew, but that's... you still remember the first party in that world of the dead. When you arrived in Alexandria, not knowing what was going to happen, who these people were, or if things would work out. Deanna invited you all to a party to welcome you, seeing dresses, party clothes, high heels inside the closet of what would be your new home made you a little dizzy, making you think that that community would not stand for long.

You were glad you were wrong about that.

"It's been a while since I've celebrated Christmas." You comment, not sure if you said it loud enough or just thought it. When you feel Daryl's gaze on you, you know you've caught his attention.

"We've never celebrated." He mutters, not giving it a thought. You look at him in surprise.

"Never?"

"Well, when I was a kid, but I don't remember much...it was just another day my dad came home drunk." He shrugs.

"I'm sorry to hear that..." You whisper pityingly. You know little and less about Daryl's life, only what he's told you, and truth be told, he's never been too cheerful.

"It's not like I care." He shakes his body. "We can do it so the kids can enjoy a different kind of day, gifts, sounds good to me."

"I have to figure out what to get Judith and RJ."

"It's not like you have much of a choice." He tries to joke and you laugh through your nose.

"You're right..." You stand there for a moment thinking. "Do you want to come with me to the mall?" You say it as a joke, but at the same time it's true, you'd like to take a quick trip to the mall near the Commonwealth, “I'm sure it's stripped down, but just to try it out.”

"To the mall next door?" he asks catching you by surprise. "Do you think there will be anything left?"

"I-I don't know, but I'd sure like to take a look."

"Okay, we can make a list, bring stuff for the kids here too..."

"And for us, I mean... I'm sure the others will be excited too."

"I guess."

A small smile tugs at your mouth, biting your lip to try to stifle it a little and not annoy the hunter, but you feel his gaze on you, one eyebrow raised, questioning.

"What?"

"Nothing, I'm just excited by the idea. Just from imagining the kids opening the presents." You laugh softly and he seems to catch it, snorting.

"You like kids." He understands, looking sideways at you, opening the apartment door. "But I've never seen you with one."

"The world went to shit, Daryl, remember? The thought of bringing a baby into this world scares me, I know we're safer now, that things are different than they were in the beginning, but..." You shrug, venturing inside the house, right behind him. "Besides at my age the chances of me getting pregnant are very small..."

"But it's not impossible." You cut off your thoughts. You look at him, twisting your head slightly, smile trying to joke and put your hands on your hips.

"Is it that you want a baby, Dixon?"

He looks at you, there doesn't seem to be any expression on his face, but the intensity in his eyes make your smile falter, forcing you to hold your breath for a few seconds before he shakes his head.

You, maybe.

"Nah, who'd want another Dixon for the world?"

"I know of a group that would love to help you with that." You can't bite your tongue in time. By the time you're aware of what you've said, Daryl is already looking at you with raised eyebrows and a pursed mouth. How stupid.

"What?"

"Nothing."

But you know his question is rhetorical. That he understood perfectly well what you were referring to, he's just trying to set the conversation straight. You're standing there, in the middle of the living room of the apartment, now it feels incredibly small to you, feeling suffocated, you'd like to leave the conversation there, tell him goodnight and tomorrow will be another day. But Daryl turns on his axis and walks towards you a couple of steps.

"You mean the group short shorts?" He says with an amused edge to his voice.

Oh. He's noticed it too. You think, but of course, how can you not? As Carol told you, why wouldn't nice legs and little ones still in place get his attention? They'd get your attention too if you'd like those things. You shake off those thoughts, taking a small step back, looking at him sideways.

"They are always waiting for you when you come back from some mission..." You try to justify yourself.

"They're just looking for attention. Besides I don't think I could handle all four at once. I'm not that good."

Your gaze shoots to him, there's a small smile on his mouth at the same time the tips of his ears look reddened. You hold each other's gaze for a few seconds before you laugh and lower your head, hiding the laugh between your teeth.

"Idiot."

"I have no intention with any of them." You say again. "I don't like them following me around either, but they don't listen to me."

"Bark, you're good at it when you're angry." You prod him and he snorts.

"I think you like it when I bark at you." He smiles moving a little closer to you.

"You don't bark at me...you just growl at me." You smile wanting to tease him, Daryl growls, brushing his nose against yours, a chuckle escapes you.

"You want me to growl at you?" he whispers against your lips, you nod.

"Yes..."

Opening your eyes you feel Daryl's arm around your waist, pressing you against his chest, fully asleep, or so it seems. Slowly, not wanting to wake him, you look up, discovering how calm and relaxed he seems. His other arm under his head, his disheveled hair falling over his eyes, his mouth half open, letting out several sighs that don't become snores. It is a privileged view that you try to burn into your mind. Very slowly you move between his arms, kissing his chin, the line of his jaw, but the movement wakes Daryl, putting him on alert. His huge hand covers your mouth as he turns sharply, standing over you. Your heart races at the sight of his still sleeping eyes. As he begins to become aware of where he is and who you are, he snorts and slowly lowers his hand from your mouth.

"I'm sorry. I was asleep..."

"I know, it's a miracle I didn't know existed." You joke and he rolls his eyes.

"Shut up. What were you doing?"

"Looking at you."

"That's creepy." He jokes and you laugh quietly.

"I like looking at you, you're so cute." You continue to sting watching his ears turn red.

"Why didn't you roll over and go back to sleep?"

"Because we have to go get the kids presents." You smile wider seeing him get a small smile too.

"Okay." He grunts letting you off the hook, sitting down on the bed to get his clothes and get dressed.

It's been days since you've dreamed of that time. Before you and Daryl started this relationship. The Christmas that changed everything for you.

Your relationship with Daryl started to become more evident and continuous from that first night in the Commonwealth. You went next to the mall, talking to Princess, Merce and Max about your gift idea, everyone thought it was a good idea and put together different requests from kids and teens in the community to try to bring everything. While you were looking for the last requests before Christmas day, the party was all organized, the room where it was going to be held was fully decorated, even a Christmas tree had been put up and was being surrounded by lots of presents, but some were left behind and you were doing your best to find them when you and Daryl heard a very soft cry coming from one of the tents.

There you found Oscar, a baby just a few months old, begging for attention, possibly starving. His mother was chained up not far from him and it was evident that she had not long ago been transformed. You didn't even hesitate, Daryl gave his mother rest and then took little Oscar in his arms, he was wrapped in a blanket with that name embroidered on it, so you decided to leave that name for the baby. When you returned to the community there was a small commotion when you saw the baby in your arms, many questions plastered on the faces and eyes of your companions.

"You were supposed to go for gifts for the children, where did you get that one?" Princess asked for the others.

You explained to them what had happened at the mall and no one doubted that you had done the sensible thing. On the other hand, the idea of adopting Oscar didn't cross your mind at first, in fact your idea was to leave him at the Commonwealth, surely someone would take care of him, but Daryl didn't think so.

"We kept it. We found him."

"Daryl, it's a baby, it's not a toy. You can't just… claim him..."

"And what yer gonna do, leave him here for someone to raffle off." He snorted and you opened your mouth but then closed it. If you thought about it...

"I'm just trying to find him a family."

"We could be his family!" He barked and you looked at him with wide eyes.

"We?"

"In Alexandria, I meant... all of us, in the community... you..." mumbled looked visibly nervous. You knew there was something struggling to get out but his mouth refused to spit it out.

"Fine, we'll take him with us to Alexandria, but you can't force me to have a baby, Daryl." You tried to make him understand. "Much less if I have to take care of it by myself."

Again you saw that gesture in him, like chewing his lip as his eyes searched for a spot to look other than you, the ideas building up in his head, but his mouth still didn't want to speak.

"You know Daryl. If you have something to say to me, say it, it's not good to keep things to yourself." You provoked him to speak, but he just turns and walks away. "I thought so..." You growled.

As Rick arrived with the others, even Carol with Ezekiel from The Kingdom, you had to explain again how you had found Oscar, earning you some funny looks from your friends, but you wanted to ignore them, however, in your mind Daryl's words followed, maybe you should take Oscar to Alexandria, he will be safe there too, after all there will be other mothers there who can help you if you had doubts, plus other children he could make friends with. Maybe you should listen to Daryl. During the day you took care of Oscar, taking care of him, bringing out your maternal instinct. It's not that you don't like children, you loved taking care of Judith and RJ, but you never thought you would become a mother. That day with Oscar in your arms, you ended up making the decision that you would be his mother and that he would come back to Alexandria with you.

Daryl got to you before you got to him. At the ball, after getting everything ready, the archer appeared through the party room, walking straight towards you.

"Daryl listen..."

"I wanna have a baby with ya." Your words got stuck in your throat. "Ya asked me if I wanted to have a baby, yes, if it's with ya." You were unable to speak, Daryl was breathing heavily, his nose swelling, his chest rising and falling rapidly. Saying all that was complicated for him, it was clear he'd had an intense argument with himself. "You said you didn't think you could have babies and suddenly Oscar has shown up...it's...I dunno..." He was stunned, he simply couldn't get his thoughts together and it was overwhelming him.

"Is that what you want? It would be a commitment... very long term, Daryl, it's..."

"Yer my girl, ain't ya? A commitment..."

"I'm your girl?" your heart raced violently at those words.

"Ya wanna a ring or somethin’?" he asked leaving you speechless once again.

The sparkle on your finger captures your attention, pulling you back out of the memories. You didn't need a ring for Daryl to make it clear how he felt, his words had already done that, but still the archer showed up with a ring that symbolized a little more of how he felt.

"You're such a romantic, Dixon." You laughed with him accepting the gift.

"We were already friends. The sex is fine. All that was missing was the baby." He told you and you laughed.

"Mom?" You hear in the hallway, putting you both on alert.

"Shall I go?" asks Daryl who is already sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Please, I'll be right there and fix some breakfast."

"Okay." He leans over giving you a kiss. "Coming, champ."

"Daddy!" replies Oscar with an excited shout.

You sit on the bed for a few more seconds, enjoying just that, the feeling that is enveloping you, in the distance, you hear Daryl's voice and Oscar's laughter enjoying his father's attentions. You close your eyes feeling goose bumps, your heart racing. How everything has changed with a few simple words.

"I can try…”

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smileysuh · 8 months

Text

forget him - TEASER

🌙 staring. Haechan x afab!Reader

🔮 preview. “What if… what if I helped you out a little?” His words hang in the air, and your room feels thick with tension. You’re acutely aware of the toy still pressed between your thighs. “Look,” Hyuck says, voice softer, “I hate seeing you cry- but seeing you cry about something good might make us both feel better.”

tw/cw. recent breakup, fingering, Hyuck walks in while y/n is masturbating, masturbation, assisted masturbation, toy/dildo use, overstimulation, dacryphilia, reader has multiple orgasms, squirting, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, big dick Hyuck, pussy stretching, dirty talk, praise, talking about y/n's ex while they fuck, marking/claim kink, full/breeding kink, etc… I pet names: (hers) gorgeous, babe, good girl.

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 7.1k

🍭 aus. friends to lovers, roommates au, recent breakup, etc…

☀️ mlist + an. When I tell you I need to be demolished by this Hyuck-

“So… you going to lift those covers and let me see what I’m dealing with or…?”

“God,” you groan, hiding your face in your hands. “This is so embarrassing.”

“I call you gorgeous for a reason, don’t I?” Hyuck grins. “Come on, I wanna see.”

You grab at the blankets, taking a deep breath. Then you start to move them off your body.

Your roommate watches your every movement, dipping his head to focus as you lift the fabric covering your feet, then your calves-

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” you tell him.

“Yeah, me neither,” Hyuck admits. “I’ve been waiting so long to see you like this.”

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mysaintkitten · 6 months

Note

hi g!! firstly i have to tell you how much i love your work, you’re incredibly talented and i’m always so excited whenever you post something.

i have this idea for a story: you and neil have dated for months but you recently split up and neither of you seem to get over the other, so one night after a failed attempt on forgetting him you somehow end up in his bed again. old habits die hard…

hope u have a nice day :)

first of all .. thank you so much !! you are so incredibly kind !! second of all, i made this a liiiiiittle bit angsty and fluffy but still smutty !! i loved the breakup sex idea so i was so eager to write about this :)

Break Up | Neil Lewis x fem!reader

prompt: you and neil split up (NSFW!!!! NO MINORS!!!!)

WARNINGS: (brief) fighting, (brief) mentions of mental health struggles, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (p in v), creampie

word count: 3.8k

the break up was messy. both you and neil shot vile, unnecessary insults at each other as he scrounged around your shared apartment to gather his belongings before leaving.

“you’re pathetic, neil. absolutely fucking pathetic.” you spat, desperate to make a dig that’ll hurt him.

“you know what? you aren’t even worth all this anyway.” neil snarls before swinging the door open, “you’re a cold-hearted cunt and i hope i never have the displeasure of seeing you again.”

you scoff, “feelings mutual, sweetheart.”

before he’s even fully out the door, you violently slam it shut, bumping neil in the process. he mumbles a few more profanities before finally leaving.

moments after this altercation, you’re left pacing around the living room. your mind flooded with him, the memories, the pain. what starts off as vicious rage, quickly switches into overwhelming despair. you just collapse. your knees falling to the ground as you sob into your hands. how did this happen? how can something so good sour so quickly?

neil fell victim to the same fate. he kept his composure until he got into his car. as soon as he shut the door, he was hit with a subtle waft of your essence. he wasn’t sure what exactly he was smelling, whether it was your detergent, or body wash, or perfume, but it was your smell. and it hit him like a ton of bricks. he teared up a bit, but he tried his best to stay calm until he found somewhere to stay for the night.

he drove to some miscellaneous pizza place and cried in the parking lot. god, he thinks, this is almost worse than crying in front of you. he feels pathetic, angry, depressed. he wipes his face and heads into the pizza shop, orders himself a pizza, and calls jonathan while he waits.

“hey dude, i know this is short notice, do you mind if i crash at your place for a bit? (y/n) and i broke up, it was really bad man ..” neil asks while pacing around outside the shop awkwardly.

“yeah, dude, of course. however long you may need. plus, while you’re here i need to discuss some things to you about a shipment that lucien and i picked out.” jonathan responds.

neil appreciates jonathan’s hospitality, but the last thing he wants to talk about is business. he wants to crawl onto jonathan’s couch and sleep, at least for a day or two, just avoid the world all together. but he’s an adult man, a business man at that, depression won’t pay the bills.

“yeah yeah,” neil answers, “sounds good. i’ll bring a pizza by too. maybe i’ll pick up some beers.”

“sick!” jonathan says eagerly, he appreciates the bare minimum, that’s what neil likes about him, “let me know when you’re here i’ll buzz you up.”

they say their goodbyes and neil hangs up, continuing to linger outside the store. he basks in the silence of the streets, the cool breeze, the dull and numb feeling that’s stuck in his chest.

once the pizzas ready, he thanks the workers and tips them graciously. he then picks up the beers for him and jonathan to share, before quickly speeding over to jonathan’s apartment, trying to get there while the pizzas still warm.

he arrives to jonathan’s place and they do as expected, eat, drink, watch movies, discuss business. neil feels as though he’s watching himself through some sort of film, like he’s not in control of his body. it felt uneasy. he believes the severity of the breakup has caused him minor disassociation, in some way. he’s desperate to vent. he has thousands of pent up feelings boiling within him and he needs to let out even the slightest bit of steam.

neil swallows harshly, “you know, man, i just really think i screwed it up with (y/n) ..”

“yeah, chicks are crazy.” jonathan retorts while grabbing neil’s empty plate from in front of him. jonathan doesn’t like to talk about feelings very much, that’s what neil doesn’t like about him.

but neil gets the hint. no sense in rambling to a man who won’t listen. so he grabs his beer and chugs down the rest, almost immediately proceeding to crack open another one.

jonathan puts on a movie that he knows neil likes and the two sit in near silence and watch. jonathan’s silent because he’s paying attention, neil’s silent because his mind is reeling. all he can think about is what he said to you, what you said to him, what it’ll be like to see you out in public. it branches into what’ll it be like when he sees you out with someone else? he can’t stomach the thought right now, he needs to go to sleep.

neil sits through the movie, trying his hardest to pay attention to what’s on screen and try to forget what had happened earlier. he wasn’t successful. but he tried.

the movie ends and jonathan pats his knees before standing up, “well, i gotta crash,” he yawns, “help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge. use the tv if you’d like, just keep the volume at a decent level.”

“no yeah, definitely. thanks again, man.” neil responded.

the entire night he lays awake. he tosses and turns trying to sleep, but his mind won’t rest.

he stays this way for a few days.

he starts to slowly move on, little by little, until one day he hears that you were spotted with a guy. as soon as those words hit his ears, he feels a lump form in his throat. that’s it. that’s his breaking point.

without much thought, he storms off to his car and drives over to the shared apartment that you have now taken basically full ownership over. he hurriedly rushes inside while being bombarded with visuals of you with other guys, you fucking them, them using you, and worst of all, them just being affectionate with you. thinking of you holding their hand, them kissing your cheek and making you giggle, you dancing in the kitchen with them. just like you used to do with him.

before he’s even realized it he’s ended up outside your door. he stands there for a few seconds to gather his thoughts, he didn’t really come over with a plan, he just felt compelled to come.

neil raises his hand and knocks on your door. he can hear your footsteps approaching. but what if it’s a guy coming? your new boy-toy? he doesn’t know what he’ll do with himself if he sees your new partner right now.

you swing the door open, confused and shocked to see neil on the other side.

your eyes widen, “uh .. neil .. what ar-“ you say before he nudges you lightly out of the way, “i forgot some things ..” he mumbles before quickly making his way to your bedroom.

“neil? what did you forget?” you call out, trying to catch up to him, “hello? what did you forget?”

“oh, am i interrupting something? just give me a minute.” he groans rudely

“interrupting? what are you implying?” you question, feeling even more confused.

“oh, nothing, i just didn’t know if your new boyfriend was over, or whatever.”

the confusion starts to become anger, “what? neil, what the fuck is wrong with you? who said i have a new boyfriend? and what business is it to you anyway?”

he turns to you and laughs, “we’ve been broken up for less than a month and you’re already moving on! did i not matter at all to you?”

“again, even if i was seeing someone new, it’s not your business.” you snap, crossing your arms in front of your body.

he just scoffs as he feels tears begin to prick at the corners of his eyes, “i’ll get what i forgot and i’ll leave. you’ll never see me again.”

you can hear something in his tone, “neil? are you alright?”

you’re fuming, he’s infiltrated your space and now he’s attempting to start a fight? but simultaneously, you still feel a deep sense of empathy for him. you’re still in love with him after all.

“i’m f-fine.” he stammers, actively keeping his back towards you while sifting through piles of clothes, he can’t bear to see your face right now.

“are you sure? you don’t sound alright ..” you reply softly, placing a hand on his shoulder soothingly.

“i’m fine! jesus, (y/n)! just let me look, please!” his voice cracks as he swats your hand away, he knows he can only keep up this front for so long.

“neil, we were together for months, i know you better than you know yourself, tell me what’s wrong.”

we were together.

those three words made him nauseous to hear, he knew the two of you were done, but to hear it hurt on a different level.

he loses it, the tears start to pour out from his eyes.

you hear him begin to cry quietly, his hands coming up to cover his face.

“what is it?” you ask one last time as your voice begins to break, you had been struggling as well. but you, like neil, kept it mostly to yourself. you rotted away in your apartment, barely even showering or maintaining yourself. but today he saw you on a relatively good day, you felt motivation to shower and clean. if he had caught you on any other day, you would’ve been absolutely mortified.

neil finally turns around, his face red and cheeks wet with tears.

“what happened to us?” he sighs, “we were so good, (y/n),” your eyes are nearly welling with tears. “i thought i was going to marry you.” he adds, his voice barely above a whisper.

you’re at a loss for words, you didn’t know what happened either. it’s like one day something between you just switched. you were both stubborn, but that had never been an issue, until it was mixed with unexpected changes and outside stressors, you eventually just couldn’t stand each other.

you can’t hold it in anymore, you begin to sob in front of him.

“i loved you, neil.” you walk closer to him, “i didn’t mean what i said. i just felt hurt, and i wanted to hurt you back.”

“i know,” he chuckles through the tears, “i know. i felt the same, i didn’t mean it either.”

you missed neil, so so dearly, and you wished that he could come back to make amends. now here he is, and here’s your opportunity.

you swallow your pride, “i miss you.”

you see something shift within him once those words leave your mouth, “i miss you too.” he mutters.

he grabs your face and runs his thumb along your cheek before planting a kiss on your lips. you’re shocked, but you wanted this. you’ve been craving this. you kiss him back.

he pulls away briefly to see your expression, but you lean forward immediately to kiss him again more passionately.

he groans into your mouth, bringing his hands down to the dip of your back.

“missed you so much ..” he whines into your mouth while wrapping his arms around your waist, clenching you close to his body. you bring your hands up to your head and run your fingers through his hair, occasionally bringing your hands down to touch his shoulder blades.

neil slips his hands under your shirt and unclasps your bra.

“mmh .. neil, we can’t ..” you groan between kisses, although you aren’t making much efforts to stop him

he slips his tongue into your mouth and makes the kiss sloppier, moaning softly in the process

“let me make it up to you .. please ..” he begs, creeping his hands down to your ass.

he grips it gently and feels himself growing hard. since the breakup, he’s had a lot of pent up sexual tension. he’s been couch surfing, which isn’t exactly ideal for private intimate times, so he was rarely able to get off. so now even just the sensation of your ass has him popping a chub already.

as you kiss, he starts to slowly guide you towards the bed. eventually the end of the bed meets the back of your legs, and you stumble back with neil on top of you.

you detach from his lips and shuffle your body back, neil follows your lead and moves his lips down to your neck, kissing and sucking softly. his lips on your neck and the warm friction of his body is causing you to get undeniably wet. this isn’t the best way to go about things, you and him should’ve maybe had a civil and thoughtful discussion. but you suddenly feel his bulge graze against you, neither of you are in the right state to sit and talk.

his kisses begin to move downward to your collar bone, almost to your chest, but he halts.

“can you take off your shirt?”

without responding, you slip your shirt and now unclasped bra off. he resumes his kisses down your chest until he gets to one of your nipples, he swirls his tongue around the harding bud, suckling on it gently soon after while moaning lowly.

you gasp and arch your back, “missed these tits ..” he groans against your skin, bringing one of his hands up to knead your other breast.

before long, his kisses trail down your torso, sliding his hands down your sides to grip your hips. his kisses stop at your navel, where he looks up at you from between your legs, slinking his fingers down to your waistband where he hooks his fingers in. he tugs them down lightly, but stops. watching your face attentively for your approval.

you raise your hips and allow him to continue to pull your pants and underwear off. he moves out of the way briefly to efficiently tear them off, before quickly going back to where he was originally, directly between your legs. he groans at the sight of your wetness.

neil places small kisses along your inner thighs while latching his hands beneath them, his lips inching closer and closer to your pussy. he plants a wet kiss on your lower lips, making you whine at the sudden, but much needed gesture.

he continued to kiss, sloppier and sloppier, until the kisses become blatant licks against your clit.

“mmh! ne-il!” you whimper, rutting against his face slightly. he hums, gripping your thighs harder, “missed this cunt so much ..”

as you moan and rut, neil gets more determined to make you come on his face. he laps you up, occasionally dipping down to use his nose while he prods your hole with his tongue, or using his chin to rub your clit while he stares at you twitching in bliss. he’s utilizing his face in ways he never has before, he seems nearly ravenous.

he sucks on your clit gently before detaching his mouth, “use my face t’come, show me how much you want it.”

“i want it,” you moan breathily as you lock your fingers into his hair, “i want it so bad!”

he smiles against you. sucking, rubbing, and licking all of your sensitive areas. you using his face purely to get off gets him unbearably hard, he begins to grind against the mattress beneath him for some sort of relief

your gasps and whines progressively get louder and louder, to the point where your eyes are squeezed shut and your mouth hangs slightly slack, neil just watches. he missed you as a person, as a partner, but he also missed watching you be pleased. the way your body and face contorts, knowing it’s all from his touches, it just couldn’t compare to anything else.

his jaw is sore, his scalp hurts from your pulling, and the entire lower half of his face is dripping wet with a mixture of your arousal and his own saliva, but he has no intentions of stopping. not until you come on his face.

your ruts start to get quicker and needier, your thighs shaking and tensing in the process as you gasp and beg for neil to make you come.

“please, please, please,” you babble quietly, “i’m so close.”

neil can barely breathe, and he’s so incredibly hard he’s afraid he may faint from the loss of blood and oxygen flow. he groans against your pussy, crude sounds of moans and slight squelching fill the room.

your orgasm is inching closer and closer until it finally hits. your mind going blank and your hips movements coming to a stop, your thighs clench around him and twitch around his head. you’re quiet as you come, as if the air has been sucked from your lungs. neil licks you through your high, until you’ve become too sensitive and have to push him away.

“too much .. too much ..” you whine, neil hesitantly pulls away. he could stay between your legs forever.

he places small kisses on your inner thighs and sighs deeply against you. once he catches his breath, he trails back up your body with kisses. eventually his lips end up at your neck, he places a small lick onto the shell of your ear while sneaking his hand between his legs and palming himself.

“nothing else compares to you .. nothing .. no one ..“ he mumbles, hastily unzipping his fly and pulling his pants down with one hand, “i think your pussy was designed just f’me ..”

you whimper and place your hands on his clothed back, “this .. off .. please-“

he places one more wet kiss on your neck before sitting his body up. his eyes are glossy and his lips are a rich pink colour. he takes off his shirt and you can’t help but compliment him,

“you look so handsome.” you chuckle

he smirks, “thanks, i think eating pussy gives you some sort of natural glow, or so i’ve heard.”

you roll your eyes playfully and hook your fingers into his boxers waistband, “take these off, too.”

neil laughs breathily and removes his boxers, his hard, sensitive member springing free. his tip glistens from his arousal, you bring your hand to his cock and grip him weakly while pumping him.

he moans and his eyes shoot down to between his legs, watching you pump him, “oh, fuck ..”

his moans enable you further, you begin to pump him quicker. he huffs and whines before gripping your wrists and stopping your movements, “stop, stop”

you let go, “if you keep going i’ll come on your hand, i need your pussy.” he mewls as he lowers himself between your legs and aligning his cock head with your opening.

your pussy is extremely slick from the combination of his spit, your orgasm, and your persistent arousal, so he slides himself in with no issue. making the both of you groan at the sensation. as he bottoms out, he just sits inside you for a few moments, simply enjoying the embrace of your warm and wet cunt. you whine at the fullness you had been missing, while neil was away you’d attempt to finger yourself, but your own fingers didn’t compare at all to his cock. the feeling reminds you of what neil said, “i think your pussy was designed just for me”, maybe it’s truer than you thought.

his hips shift back and he slowly thrusts himself out, before quickly snapping back in. his pace is quick and needy, you don’t think you’ve ever seen him fuck you so desperately.

“neil-l .. mmh!” you gasp, swinging your hand over your mouth to cover your loud moans. neil chuckles and swipes your hand out of the way, “let me hear you, your noises are so pretty.”

“o-oh, stop ..” you tease, having just enough composure within you to still banter slightly with neil as he fucks you

“‘m serious ..” he moans, “hearing how good my cock is making y’feel .. so fucking sexy ..”

his pace gets rougher, and you almost instantly lose whatever snarky response you had in mind, “god, f-uck!” you cry out, bringing your hands down to your sides to grab the duvet beneath you.

as he thrusts into you, his eyes dart between your fucked-out face and your tits, which are bouncing slightly from his force. he places a hand onto your hip and the other onto your tit, both hands gripping harshly on whatever they’re grabbing. you whine at the aggression, feeling it get you hotter and wetter.

neil huffs and glances down at your pussy, whimpering at what he sees, “jesus, so fucking wet”

“you got me t-this wet ..” you stammer, feeding into neil’s neediness.

he moans, “y-yeah?”, his voice high and shaky, normally he’d want to come off as dominant and basically stoic, but right now he’s absolutely pussy-whipped, he couldn’t pull himself together if he tried.

hearing the pleasure in his tone makes you hum, your legs wrapping around him and squeezing him lightly.

he laughs and gulps, “so desperate to keep my cock inside.”

you nod quickly and snake your hand between your legs to rub your clit as you clench around him involuntarily. neil whimpers small sounds of approval, knowing how close you are to coming. his breaths are heavy and he’s having a hard time keeping up the quick rough pace, both of you are approaching your orgasms rapidly. the aesthetics of it really don’t matter, the pleasures your bodies are giving each other is what matters above all else.

“gonna come ..” neil swallows, “gonna come ..”

you wanna tell him you’re going to come too, but you physically can’t vocalize it, but you assume your whimpers and clenching and wetness is telling enough.

moments later, you’re coming on his cock, “n-eil!” you shout as your body convulses slightly from the overwhelming sensation. watching you come pushes him over the edge completely, “yeah, yeah, fuck!” he rambles, his brows furrowing and mouth hanging slack as he comes while continuing to pump himself inside you.

you ride out your orgasms until it eventually becomes too overstimulating for the both of you, he pulls out his softening cock and huffs. your thighs twitch at the feeling of his and yours come begin to slowly drip out from inside of you. neil smirks proudly “i missed seeing this too .. so goddamn much ..”

after that, you and him sit in silence for a little. you don’t really know what to say, and you don’t know what you are. still exes? friends? partners?

instead of pondering, you think fuck it and just ask;

“what are we now?”

“what do you want us to be?” he responds

“i want us to get back together.”

“i want that, too.”

——

back to my old reliable .. neil !!!

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian x fem!reader #neil lewis #neil lewis x reader #watching the detectives #hope y’all like this #:)

501 notes · View notes

sweaterweatherever · 1 year

Note

If you are taking request, could you write an enemies to lovers with ajax? Like, expand on what you wrote in his post?

Do me a favour (Ajax Petropolus x Reader)

Pairing: Ajax Petropolus x Fem reader

Warnings: SMUT, sub Ajax, making out, mentions of getting high, thigh riding. Reader is judgy and bitchy. I wanted to hit her halfway. Reader is a vampire, but it’s mentioned like two times. Kind of an enemies to lovers, except Ajax refuses to get into it. And yes, I stand by thinking this boy has got to have somewhat initiative because did you see the date he got to the Rave’n? AGED UP CHARACTERS.

A/N: I really wanted to subvert the trope of enemies to lovers when it comes to smut. We usually get angry sex and the character domming the reader hard, and it’s cool, I like it, but I thought combining these two requests could be nice. Man, drunk me is wordy.

Requested: Yes, expansion in headcanons and Subby Ajax. I tried my best with the second.

“Oh, my god! Ajax is like! So cute, you guys! He is so tall and dreamy, and the way he puts his arms around me…!” Enid blabbered. You gave Wednesday a look, rolling your eyes. Wednesday glowered, which, considering she had like three facial expressions (Murderous rage, homicidal maniac and neutral serial killer, as you had affectionately named them) was just about an agreement.

“I don’t get what you see in him.” You said, laying back on her bed and doing some pretty hard gymnastics to keep painting your nails without messing up the covers. “He is just so…” It was not your intention to offend your friend by saying the guy she was dating was lame, but that was what came to mind.

Ajax was pretty normal, the only thing he had going on was the fact he was a stoner and tall. You didn’t approve of the first, and there were plenty of guys with the second on Nevermore. The bar was too low, really. He had a bland personality and wasn’t a great student either. It wasn’t like there was anything to dislike because he was the most boring boy on earth. Ugh, it was always the prettiest girls like Enid with the most dull boys.

“Me either. He’s just so…” Wednesday said, clearly trying to find a word that described her feelings. Then, with a shudder of disgust, she said the word. “Normal.”

You couldn’t agree more, but didn’t say anything, so Enid didn’t get upset. Besides, your dislike of Ajax was totally baseless because he treated Enid like a goddess. You kept quiet. Until Wednesday came to get you in the middle of the night because Ajax and her had broken up.

“She is… Emotional.” Wednesday explained to you. Her facial expression was definitely bordering dangerous levels of murderous rage. “I don’t know how to help, I already offered to bring her his head on a platter, the old Perseus style.”

“That's racist.” You said to her, frowning. “I’m in.”

“Go see her, please.” And so, that meant you made your way to the dorm, with a cup of hot chocolate in hand, Wednesday fretting uncomfortably around you. You held Enid until she fell asleep, her body wrecking with sobs.

“We are killing this asshole.” You muttered to her, adjusting your sunglasses as you exited the room.

“I’ll get the sword, you go for the mirror.” And that’s how it got started. Every time you found yourself near Ajax, you sniffled in disgust. Wednesday glowered in a menacing fashion, both of you shielding Enid from him. You couldn’t help it. Your reaction was visceral. When you saw the face Enid made when she looked at him, eyes lowering to her shoes, something tugged in your stomach. This mediocre guy had crushed your friend’s heart, and Enid was too kind to say anything to him, even going so far as telling you to stop glowering at him.

The breakup took a toll on her. Before, she was practically glowing, but now even her bright-colored clothes and makeup seemed to lose their shimmer. The first weeks were hard, but after a month she seemed to be over it. You remembered, though. Your opinion of Ajax had hit a new low, and so, you avoided him like the plague. It wasn’t really notorious because you weren’t his biggest fan before.

Two whole months after the fact, you sat down to lunch with the girls and your smile froze on your face. In the table in front of yours, Ajax was sitting down with Xavier, eyes glued to Enid’s back. You could only tell because you were sitting in front of her. Maybe it was a fluke? You waited a bit, but he wasn’t stopping. He even made eye contact with you, giving a tiny smile. The nerve of this guy!

“Oh my god, the guy can’t stop staring.” You whispered to Wednesday, when Enid was distracted with her phone. “Maybe he wants to get back with her?”

“We’ll nip that in the bud.” She turned to face him and gave him her most homicidal grin. Ajax quickly averted his gaze, looking properly cowered.

“Wednesday! Y/N!” Enid snapped her fingers playfully. “What are you two looking at?”

“Nothing.” You quickly said, but it was too late, she was already turning around.

“You guys have to stop with the whole hating Ajax thing. We have been texting and decided we want to be friends!” Enid chastised, clapping happily. Wednesday blinked. You knew her well enough to know that when Enid talked, she listened. And so, having lost your biggest ally, you had to let it go.

“Fine.” You grumbled. “As long as I don’t have to talk to him that much…” Oh, Ajax might have won this battle, but you would win the war. You lifted your head, catching him staring once again. You waited until he met your eyes, just so you could give him a smile and a cheeky wave, popping your fangs a little and almost making him spit out the water he was drinking.

You had to give it to him, the little shit was always one step ahead of you. That’s what you realized when you got called into the principal’s office just so they could tell you got a new job. Apparently you were to tutor Ajax in Botanic, a class in which you were surpassed both by Bianca and Wednesday in terms of skill. The excuse had been that Wednesday didn’t have the people skills necessary and Bianca refused, citing schedule conflicts. Besides, Ajax had asked Bianca before, and when she said no, he prompted your name to the principal.

You walked straight to him when you got out of the meeting, face so hot from your fit of temper, you could feel smoke coming out of your ears. You had tried saying no, but the principal wasn’t having it. They had explained one tutor had already refused, and you didn’t have schedule conflicts like her. You weren’t getting out of it.

“What game do you think you are playing?” You asked him, and he had the nerve to look confused. Xavier gave you a weird look. You ignored him too, eyes attached to Ajax. “You asked the principal for me to tutor you. Why?”

“Umm… because I suck at Botanic and you don’t?” Ajax peered at you, a small smile on his lips. Xavier snickered. You paid him no mind.

“Fine.” You eyed him, distrust clear in your face. "Meet me tomorrow in the library. We’ll go over the material for this week. Three o’clock.” You walked away, looking over your shoulder as you did so. Might be showing weakness, but you trusted him only as far as you could throw him.

“That went over well.” Xavier whistled, looking at your retreating form.

“Oh, I will win her over, you just watch.” Ajax punched him in the arm. “Maybe then she will smile at me.”

“Keep dreaming, Ajax. Girl has it out for you since you and Enid…” Xavier started saying, quickly trailing off when Ajax got a dopey look in his eyes.

“Yeah, but that only shows she is loyal. I like it.” Ajax defended you.

“You are delusional.”

The next day found you sitting in the library with some diagrams you had printed and a copy of your notes, ordered by date. You had two different practice tests because you were the kind of person who went all out. You took your education very seriously.

Ajax was right on time, looking for you in the different tables until you waved him over. He was holding two coffee cups, looking a little awkward out of uniform. He was in a hoodie and a nice pair of jeans. Not like you were paying attention or anything.

“Here. I got you a latte.” He said, sliding it over to you. You kept your expression closed off, not wanting to betray your real thoughts.

“Thank you. It was nice of you.” You deadpanned.

“Oh, tough crowd, aren’t you?” Ajax didn’t seem deterred in the very least. You grabbed the latte, eyes going wide when you sipped it and realized it was just the way you usually took it.

“Oh, so you are a talker. I don’t like it.” You slid a pen and one of the tests towards him. You were taking your questions to the grave. “Solve this, just to know where we are.”

He kept quiet, slowly filling out the test. Ajax’s brows were furrowed in concentration, lips pursed, a hint of teeth appearing sometimes when he bit his pencil. Without anything else to do, you kept watch of him. You noted with interest the way he didn’t seem to hesitate on filling up the diagrams, easily identifying the parts of plants you had picked on purpose because they were the hardest to do.

You went to grab the sheet at the same time Ajax was going to hand it to you, quickly, too quickly. Your hand ended up brushing his, and a confused, sinking feeling took place on your stomach. Were you imagining it, or there had been a spark? You pulled the sheet out of his grasp, desperate to stop this strange feeling, and wincing when the sudden move made it so you cut yourself with the paper.

You lifted your index finger to your mouth, sucking the blood from it. Your fangs went down automatically at the smell of blood, uncaring it was your own.

“Fuck.”

“Are you okay?” Ajax eyes darted from your finger, to your mouth, to your eyes. In that specific order. When you met them, unafraid, he scratched his neck, cheeks going red and quickly averted his gaze. You smirked. Was he afraid of you? Good.

“I’m fine. Give me five to check this, and we will talk about weak areas.” You stated. The test was pretty good for someone who claimed to need tutoring. Ajax was passing, even with a good grade. That made you tilt your head a little. The few errors you could see were pretty easy to fix, and weird compared to his level of compression of the rest of the subject.

You felt watched, weirdly enough. But every time you lifted your eyes, Ajax was staring at his phone or at the table, eyes never stopping on you. It was unsettling. What did he want?

You made up your mind when you got to the end of the practice test. You would call him bluff.

The tutoring session kept going, with you on your best behavior. You gave him the second practice test for homework and decided to meet again on Friday.

“Okay, I can work with this. You see the first question here, you got this one wrong. Not only that, but you said Nightshades’s properties included being poisonous, when it’s actually the contrary.” You blatantly lied. The lie was so evident, Ajax should jump to correct you with the level of knowledge he had displayed. But interesting enough, he didn’t. He kept his eyes politely trained on the first question, right where you were underlining with your pen. You were going to get to the bottom of this, you decided then. What could he possibly be gaining with this? “Oh, sorry, it was a slip of the tongue, I meant to circle the fifth question, forget what I said. You were right.”

To that tutoring session, Ajax showed up with a box of your favorite candy, munching on them and offering you one casually.

“Oh, I love these!” You smiled at him, in a truly involuntary way. You quickly cleared your throat, focusing on the homework. “So, page six…”

Ajax smiled at you, looking far too happy for someone who was about to be assigned additional homework on top of what he already had.

“Here.” He pressed the bag of candy against your hand. “Have them, I don’t like them much.”

You narrowed your eyes.

“Why did you get them, then?”

“They were on sale.” Ajax quickly answered.

“At the vending machine?” You perched yourself on the chair, searching his face for any sign of deceit. As usual, he avoided your eyes. But you were unable to tell if it was from his nervousness about his powers or because he was lying.

“Does it matter?”

“Why are you giving me things?” You asked, rubbing at the bridge of your nose. A headache was starting, you could tell. “First the coffee, now the candy…”

“Umm, maybe because you are doing me a huge favor by cutting your study hours to help me pass?” Ajax offered, looking sheepish.

“You don’t need me for that.” You muttered, but humored him and started going over the errors on his homework, getting more sure with each one that this guy was smarter than he looked.

You didn't understand why you didn’t put a stop to it right then. You kept repeating to yourself you weren’t sure Ajax was faking his weakness in the subject, you needed more evidence. But thing was, you could just ask Wednesday to get you the evidence and call it a day anytime. And yet, you kept going back to him. You tried to rationalize it, saying it had been a while since a boy showed interest in you, that you liked the attention. You also said that the principal was making you do this, that it wasn’t like you went back to him every week out of your own accord. But you had also started to look for him out of tutoring, smiling at him in the hallways, making small talk when he was near. Something was wrong with you.

Why did your heart flutter every time he pressed a tiny trinket in your hand? Why didn’t you pull away, why did you smile at him?

You were unable to keep denying the truth when, under the pretense of fixing his tie in the middle of a tutoring session, you placed your hand on his chest. Ajax always wore his uniform messily, and it drove you up the wall. This time, something about the way his tie was messily knotted called to you, something told you to fix it for him.

Ajax didn’t pull away, transfixed by the way your fingers grabbed at the item. You unknotted it, going on your tip toes to take it off, lacing it over your neck and tied a Windsor, before placing it over his head and adjusting it. Your hands lingered, adjusting the knot, once, twice times too many.

You looked up, lips parted. For the first time in a while, you made eye contact. But this time, you were the one who blushed and looked away.

“I… I… I got to go.” You grabbed at your backpack, almost running out of the library.

“Y/N, wait…” Ajax called out. You didn’t listen. You were too preoccupied with your newly discovered feelings. You had a crush on Ajax. No. That didn't sound right. This wasn’t a crush. It was something worse. You were in love with Ajax. The plainest, most undeserving of Enid, boy in the school.

Your feet took you to your friend's room, without needing to think about it. You knew the school like the back of your hand, and right now, you needed something only Wednesday could give you. Cold, hard truth.

You knocked on the door, frantic, hoping Enid was somewhere else. She could never find out about this, it would mean destroying your friendship. God, why? Under this new light, your conduct looked terrible. Enid would think you had been trying to break them up from the start. No, she could never find out. You needed to fix this.

“Y/N.” Wednesday said, from her place in front of the writing machine. “What do you want? You sounded pretty desperate.” You looked for Thing, assuming he must have been the one to open you the door, giving him a little wave. He responded to it, and you smiled a little, before starting to pick at your nail beds.

“I might need some cognitive recalibration, Wednesday. Could you slap me, please?” You asked, and Wednesday rolled her eyes.

“What has brought on this fit of dramatics? Surely, Enid is better prepared than me to deal with it?” Wednesday rose, all elegance.

“I fucked up. I’m in love with Ajax.” Wednesday raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Plainest boy on earth? Turns out he can really turn on the charm offensive, it was really insidious, he got inside my head, with his stupid jokes, and stupid smile and perfect eyes…” You groaned in frustration. “Ugh, see? Please, slap me, and let’s see if it goes away because I won’t fuck up my friendship with Enid over a boy, especially if he is plainest that white bread, untoasted.”

“I think it is a bit late for that.” Wednesday said, looking behind you. You turned, heart beating wildly.

“Enid!” You screeched. The werewolf looked impassible, expression blank. This girl had been the first friend you had made at Nevermore, in your orientation on freshman year, when you had been terrified by strangers and jumpy at every sudden move, overwhelmed by your recently awakened senses. Enid had approached you then, kind and gentle, making sure of not scaring you, and befriended you swiftly. She had helped you grow into your powers, and become more confident in yourself. You owed her everything you had. If you had to choose, your heart would break, but you would force yourself to forget Ajax. You would rather be heartbroken than without her. You loved her like a sister, and so, if she asked you to help her get back with him, you would.

“Please, forgive me. I didn’t mean to, I swear I won’t ever look at him again, hell, if you want me to stop tutoring him I will, I never wanted this, you have to believe me, when you guys were together I was trying to break you up, but not from why you think it is! I didn’t want him then, I don’t want him now!” You begged, tears prickling at your eyes, not noticing how a tiny smile started to make its way on the other girl’s face. You would have kept blabbering, totally uncontrolled, if not for the interruption.

“Y/N.” Enid said, and your jaw clicked with how fast your mouth shut itself. “I was the one who broke up with him.”

You opened and closed your mouth, looking at Wednesday, who looked as dumbfounded as you were.

“But… But… You cried so much… And we gave him so much shit!”

“Don’t be mad at me, okay?” Enid raised her hands in surrender, looking between Wednesday and you. “I felt terrible because I had a crush on someone else! That’s why we broke up! I was just too scared to tell you guys.”

“Oh.” You sat down on one of the beds. “Oh.”

“Ajax has already forgiven me.” Enid sat next to you, passing an arm over your shoulders. “You can have him if you like, I know you genuinely weren’t trying to break us up, so you could steal him from me, you know? You were looking out for me.” Then, she turned to look at Wednesday, eyes full of love. “You both were.”

It was too much. You promptly started bawling your eyes out, relieved. Enid hugged you and Wednesday placed a hesitant hand on your shoulder. You cried even harder.

“Oh, stop it.” She said, pinching you hard on the arm and making you yelp. “There, a reality check. If you want that plain boy, even if I can fathom why, you can have him. Enid already authorized it, and he trails after you like a lovesick puppy. That must be enough to put an end to your dramatics.”

“Wednesday!” Enid exclaimed. “That was rude.”

You started laughing uncontrollably. Everything was going to be fine. You just had to deal with Ajax, but that could wait until tomorrow.

The next day, you woke up with a pep in your step. You did your hair and make up, putting on your nicest outfit. After breakfast, you sought Ajax out. He was sitting with Xavier on the grass near the woods, headphones on. Xavier was drawing something and leveled you with an unimpressed glance. You ignored him.

“Ajax.” You smiled. “Walk with me?” He looked adorable this morning, in a light blue hoodie with a matching beanie. The butterflies in your stomach started making their appearance once more. Ajax quickly found his feet, and started following you.

Once you got far enough so that Xavier wasn’t in hearing distance, you turned.

“You wanted my attention, didn't you?” Your heart was beating wildly in your chest, and you couldn’t help but wring your hands in front of you. Remembering that was the signature gesture of the house elves in the Harry Potter franchise, you quickly dropped it, hands coming nervously to brush at the sides of your jeans. You didn’t want to look like a house elf, you wanted Ajax to think you were cool.

“What?” Ajax asked, blinking at you. “What are you talking about?”

You kept walking, this time by his side.

“You didn’t have a need for a tutor in Botanic, Ajax. Your grades are almost as good as mine.” This piece of information had come from Wednesday, who, for someone who hated gossip, knew her fair amount of it. Maybe Enid was rubbing on her.

“Where are we going?” Ajax deflected, looking away from you.

“My room.” You answered, even when you could feel the blush that was starting to form on your cheeks. “You wanted my attention.”

“I did.” He admitted, blushing. Then, looking like he was about to faint, he made eye contact with you. “What are we…?”

“We are going to have a talk about valuing people’s time and then, if you are good, we might make out.” You could feel your blush go darker, and you closed your eyes, remembering Enid’s advice. Be bold. Be blunt. Ajax wouldn’t know subtlety even if it hit him in the face. She should know what she was talking about because she had dated him. Hesitantly, your hand went to grab his. Ajax’s fingers opened, accepting yours, sliding in between them. His hand was warm, and a little sweaty. You found it so endearing, you wanted to kiss him. Ugh, was love supposed to feel like this? You trusted Wednesday, you did, and so, you were pretty sure Ajax liked you back. But still, you were nervous.

“Wait, so you like me? You are not…mad?” Ajax turns to face you, hesitantly grabbing your other hand.

“Would you prefer I was mad?” You ask him, carefully schooling your expression.

“I just wanted you to smile at me.” Ajax nervously ran his thumb across your wrist. “You smiled at everyone, but never me. You didn’t like me. ”

“Oh, I didn't want to like you, you infuriating, clueless, handsome, stupid boy.” Ajax looks confused, and you can’t stand his kicked puppy look anymore. So, you press a kiss to his lips, just so he gets it. Ajax parts his lips a bit, allowing you entry, and his hands drop yours, choosing instead to go and circle your waist. You let him pull you closer, so you are flush along his body. You have kissed some people before, from clumsy first kisses to passionate making out just for the sake of it. But this, this has to be the best kiss you have ever had.

“Come on, dorm” You say, unable to stop kissing him. It’s a miracle you managed without a teacher catching you, unable to keep your hands off each other. At first, it's only you, Ajax much more hesitant. But then, when he catches on you want him and that he is allowed to touch you back, his hands are everywhere.

This is what you will say after. You have no clue how things escalated, how one kiss turned into a dozen, how you ended up with that hickey in your neck. How you end up on your back, Ajax’s hip bones digging into your upper thigh, with the way he is kissing and sucking your neck like he was the vampire out of the two of you.

No clue how, or why, he lifts his head, pretty blush on his face and says, “Umm, sorry, can you…?” Ajax wets his lips, suddenly self-conscious. “Umm, maybe, move your leg, sorry. It will go away.”

You don’t get it at first, until you zero exactly into what the weight against your thigh is.

“Can I?” You tease, unable to not do it. Ajax looks too damn good with that blush on, you want it to stay as long as possible. He is sweet, too, leaving all choices in your hands. You had been the one setting the pace, begging him to kiss you everywhere. You like it. It’s a heady feeling, having all this power at your fingertips, but also a responsibility. Ajax is trusting you with his body. “Which direction?” You ask, suddenly serious.

“Excuse me?” Ajax is getting redder by the minute. You can’t help but smile. You want him to feel good, he worked so hard at winning you over, waiting patiently for you to met him halfway. Ajax deserves something nice.

“Away or forward?” You say, pressing your thigh more against his erection, just so he knows what you mean. “I’m cool with whatever.”

“Oh. Forward, maybe? If you want?” He asks, eyes closing. You pass your arms beneath his armpits, locking them behind his back and pulling him back to you. You press a kiss to his jaw, open-mouthed. It’s cute he is into hickeys so much, you think, hearing his whimper. His heart beats wildly, pulse fluttering in your grasp. He smells good, and your gums itch with the urge to bite him, to own him, to make him yours.

“What do you want, Ajax?” You kiss his neck next, dragging your teeth along the carotid. He shivers, but you don’t receive any kind of response. “You just have to say the word.”

“Forward, please.” And you aren’t so cruel as to make him beg, head over heels as you are for him, so you press your thigh lightly against his erection. You intend to take him apart with light touches, playing the long game. But Ajax doesn’t agree. His hips rut against your thigh, harshly, hungrily.

“Greedy.” You mutter, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Come on, rub yourself on my thigh, baby boy.” You encourage him, one of your hands dropping to his hips to help him settle into a rhythm and not only desperate, jerky movements.

Ajax shakes, whimpers once again, face going to hide in the crook of your neck. You scratch at his nape, surprised when something cold touches the tips of your finger. A tiny, bifid tongue. His snakes.

You keep your cool, closing your eyes just in case. You will mention it after when Ajax settles down. Determined, you press your thigh a little harder, pulling his face out of your neck, blindly searching for his mouth, pressing kisses all over his face.

When you finally find it, you bite on his lower lip, lightly. Not enough to draw blood, but you have caught him staring at your fangs once or twice when he thought you weren’t looking, when he thought you hated him. Maybe he would like it, you have a hunch about it. And you weren’t wrong because Ajax gives a little shout, hips pushing once, twice, thrice and freezes. His body goes taut, you can feel it against yours and so, you are careful as to not press too much. You don't intend to hurt him, after all. Not yet. You would love to see the face he makes when he comes, but you would rather not end up stoned.

“Shit. Sorry. How embarrassing…” Ajax sounds disappointed in himself, and you don’t want that. Never. In your mind’s eye, you can see his kicked puppy look, how the blush on his cheeks would make its way down his neck. You don’t want his eyes to go all sad, you know your heart would break at his face. It’s for purely selfish reasons, you think to yourself, and smile blindingly.

“That was the hottest thing ever. “ You say, eyes still closed, looking for his cheek, so you can press a kiss there. “Got, like, dozens of fantasy material.”

“Why do you have your eyes closed?” He asks, hand stroking your cheek lightly and steering you back to his mouth. You press a kiss there, too. You can tell Ajax is worried, but he seems unable to contain himself, and he smiles into the kiss. “Did my snakes do…”

“One of them licked me, by your neck. Just in case, I’m not scared or anything, but it would have been hard to explain to the nurse how this happened.” You say, and Ajax laughs. You two would be busted, totally. Your dorm mom would have your head, and probably you would have to speak to the principal. You hear him shuffle around, likely adjusting the beanie.

“You can look now.” His eyes are full of regret, and you want to get rid of the sadness there by any means necessary. “Sorry again.”

“Was cute, you know? Maybe they were curious.” You smile at him, lightly scratching his back. Just like a puppy, Ajax melts against you, offering more of his back to scratch. You don’t know what drug you took, but you smile, again. You just can’t help yourself.

“Aren’t you scared of them?” He hesitates, pulling his face out of your shoulder.

“Ajax, I bit your neck and lips, and I am a vampire. Were you scared?” You ask back, biting your lip a little. You were pretty sure he liked it, judging by his reactions, but you knew having a vampire’s teeth against your throat might be off-putting for some more rational people.

“No, but…” You shush him, placing your index finger against his lips. Ajax playfully bites it, but his eyes are on yours the whole time.

“Unlike dying out of blood loss, stoning is temporary. It’s cool.” You say.

“Cool.” He mutters, but he doesn’t go back to his place near your shoulder. “So…I am… We are…” Ajax can’t find the words, but you know what he is asking.

“Yes, now come here, I wanna cuddle.” You pull him on top of you once more, wrapping your legs around his waist. Ajax just slumps and you sigh happily. This was precisely what you wanted.

#wednesday 2022 #wednesday netflix #my writing #ajax petropolus x reader #wednesday addams #xavier thorpe #enid sinclair #ajax petropulus x y/n #ajax petropulus x you #ajax petropolis x reader #ajax x you #ajax smut #ajax fluff #ajax petropulus imagines #ajax petropolus #ajax petropulus smut

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suzayaaa · 2 months

Text

ೃ⁀➷ LEAVE, NOW ☆.｡.:*

𓆩⟡𓆪 pairing: jeno x fem!reader

𓆩⟡𓆪 word count: 1.6k

𓆩⟡𓆪 themes: angst, breakup

𓆩⟡𓆪 warnings: cursing, cheating

𓆩⟡𓆪 suza’s note: can i just say i’m proud of this one…

𓆩⟡𓆪 requested by some of you!

𓆩⟡𓆪 this is an additional part 2 of jeno’s texts in “when will you leave me?” post, but it also works as a separate oneshot if you don’t want to read the texts.

It hurt.

Your heart, your mind, your body. No part of you was able to keep itself strong, to have any kind of energy to be. You were tied to your bed, sinking into the cold sheets with each move like a lifeless animal on its last breath. The breath that hurt so much, grabbing your sore heart and squeezing it violently as you shut your eyes with tears down your cheeks because no matter where you looked, Jeno was there.

The sheets you were lying in wore the scent of his musky cologne. Most of the pictures on your wall were with him, of him, or the moments spent with him. Hell, even the wrinkled t-shirt you were wearing was his. But the worst of all, you only had him in your mind.

No matter where you went and what you did, he followed you like a spell that had to be undone by a witch to let go. In a way, he did put a spell on you—the moment that caused all of this replayed in your head like a broken record, mocking you ruthlessly until you begged on your knees to stop this madness.

The words you’d never imagined to hear, the situation you’d never imagined to happen.

It was a pretty day. Clouds formed what you could call a shadow of blinding sunlight dodging the skyscrapers to reach and lit up your face. A perfect day to surprise Jeno.

You did most of it almost automatically, like a routine. A takeout from his favorite restaurant in one hand and a bag filled with your clothes and skincare products in the other; everything needed for a sleepover.

After three years of calling yourself boyfriend and girlfriend, you were bound to have some sort of security in your relationship and maybe even further and more serious plans for the future. Jeno had suggested first to add your fingerprint to the doorlock of his apartment. You didn’t mind not having it before, but the offer made you smile. It sounded like the next, although tiny, step in your relationship.

You unlocked the door and entered quietly, hoping he wouldn’t be anywhere near the entrance. Just as you were about to put the bags down and take your shoes off, you heard two familiar male voices, but the words were more distant than ever.

“Wait, so you cheated?” Mark asked, voice cracking slightly.

The silence was excruciatingly long. Your heart froze, bruising with each second passing.

“We talked, then she kissed me.” Another pause, shorter, yet more damaging. “It was good… I felt something I never felt with her.”

Her.

He couldn’t even say your name properly.

You were a fool. A stupid, hopeless, desperate fool.

You were now just her, yet you still waited and hoped for him to reach out to you, explain himself, and apologize.

You damned yourself over and over and over again. You were the one who got hurt. Why did you want him back if he stabbed you right in the heart and twisted the knife inside?

Why did you want a cheater back?

Those words wouldn’t leave your mind even for a moment, trapping you in a self-pitying bubble that was too strong and too painful to break through.

You checked the time on your phone. It was still early afternoon, but time wanted to torture you, slowing down and rolling at its own distorted pace to make sure you took a hit with every thought that crossed your mind. Your phone was dry. The only notifications were a daily reminder from a mobile game you haven’t played for a good week and a text from Jaemin you were not ready to deal with yet. Swiping your fingers on both, your eyes clung to the lockscreen for a moment. Just yesterday you would smile looking at it; you and Jeno, beaming to the camera in a cat cafe. He was always so sweet, then he decided to ruin you in the worst way possible. You opened settings, quickly changing the photo to something that would sting your soul a little less. Now it was an old photo of your family dog that never liked you that much to begin with, but dislike was still better than betrayal.

The doorbell sound rang in your ears, forcing you to get up from your bed. You dragged your feet on the cold floor and made your way to the door. Your hand reached for the handle, opening it slowly, not expecting anyone. The sight knocked you down more than any bullet ever could.

Na Jaemin with a firm frown and behind him, the reason for it all.

Lee Jeno.

You wondered if this was how you’d looked like when you’d found out. Eyes glued to the floor, hunched back, arms limp, head down… Did you also look so lost, like the ground was sweeping from under your feet brutally slowly, letting you fall and bruise your body, letting your body take the damage for your mind? Did you also crumble to the ground, looking for any steady thing to hold onto, because hope wasn’t one of those things anymore?

You’d thought you would feel if you saw him. You imagined yourself over a hundred times screaming your lungs out at him, ripping the skin away from his bones, ending his world just like he ended yours.

You should’ve been mad. You should’ve grabbed him by his hoodie and torn him apart to pieces. You should’ve made his heart bleed slowly and painfully, blood dripping on the floor one by one, drip, drip, drip until he was drowning in it. You should’ve ripped your throat yelling every insult you could think of into his face.

You were static. No screams, no cries, no choked-up laughs. You just looked at him, trying to meet his eyes for once. You wanted to get into his arms, cry into his chest, silently blame him for all the pain he had caused. You wanted to understand, but you have never wanted his pain. You have never wanted him to be the same wreck you were now, because nothing hurt more than seeing someone you love being hurt.

“I’m sorry for bringing him,” Jaemin glared at his friend, “but I think he needs to explain himself. It’s better for both of you if you do it immediately.”

Jaemin bowed his head to you, eyes softening in a mix of pity and compassion when he looked at you. He didn’t say anything more, opting to leave you both alone with no choice but to face the inevitable.

“I’m sor-”

“Take your things please.”

Serenity was the look on his face when his eyes met yours. It was clear, clearer than the day you’d found out, that he already knew and expected.

“You won’t even let me explain?”

“Get inside and take your things.”

You didn’t want to let him talk. If you did, your mind would listen to your heart and you would let him stay a little longer.

You watched him get past you into your apartment, muscle memory leading him to your bedroom. You followed him, but stayed at the door. He was quick to start shuffling around your room, taking any belongings of his he could see.

Jeno had always been careful. Those little details you forgot about, like leaving your jewelry in your bathroom after showering or losing your phone somewhere in the sheets every time the alarm went off, Jeno had never missed out on. He almost knew you better than you knew yourself. He knew how to wound you and he still did it, even adding salt to it, making sure the suffering was obvious.

You watched him throw his clothes into the bag he’d once left at your place, arms crossed and a sour frown on your dried face. His back was facing you, thankfully, because you wouldn’t be able to say the things you wanted to his face without shattering your soul entirely.

“I thought I knew you,” you started. Jeno halted his movements, but didn’t turn around, “I thought you were…” the one? No. You wouldn’t say it to him now, he didn’t deserve to know. Choking the tears inside, you continued, fists turning into stone, knuckles white, hiccups turning into venom on your tongue, “You were so casual saying it… You don’t even regret it, do you? You don’t fucking care. You never did.”

Jeno’s voice was hoarse, barely audible even in the uncomfortable silence. “I did.”

A scoff and a single laughter. “No. If you did, you would think about me at that moment. You would think about hurting me, you would care about me, but you didn’t. You don’t care… You know what? Nevermind. Leave, Jaemin will take your shit.”

The bag dropped on the floor with a thud. No words were said anymore, nothing needed to be said; it was over. You met Jeno’s eyes for the last time, stone cold, as if you were a burden or a meaningless obstacle on his way. His shoulder was harsh when he bumped into you, and for a short moment when he’d reached for the door, you hoped.

Maybe a simple sorry would do, maybe it would only crush you more. You wouldn’t know, you let his actions speak instead of words.

The door slam was your goodbye.

Tears flooded your already swollen face, your whole body shaking uncontrollably, sinking into the floor. At that moment, a memory echoed in your mind. A piece of conversation with Jeno you would’ve never thought about, but now, when it was all you could hear, a bitter smile barely creeping up to your face, realizing you always knew.

“When will you leave me?”

“I won’t, baby.”

“Don’t lie, everybody leaves. Some just do it later than others.”

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lucky-bucky-boy · 1 year

Text

Restless Night

Pairing: MCU!Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: An impulsive phone call leads to a happy ending

Word Count: 1307

Warnings: Slight angst, smut, pet names, little to no (y/n), mentions of missions, lemme know if i missed anything

A/N: MCU!Peter - I do plan to write something for TASM!Peter in the future but this was just easier for my brain to set up the scene. I wanted to do something different and challenged myself to write something that was more dialogue-heavy than I’ve written in a while. Not my best work, but a little smutty smut bc why not

I do not own these characters. Do NOT repost my writing and/or fics anywhere without my written permission. Reblogs are welcomed and highly appreciated!

The soft sound of the television playing a forgotten movie almost drowned out the sound of the phone ringing, tucked under a pillow and muffled. The sweet cusp of sleep was only moments away, being dragged out by the vibrating as the first call ended and a second came through.

The near unconsciousness caused forethought to be left behind, grabbing the phone, answering the call, and putting it to your ear. A soft "hello?" was all you could muster.

"Hey, baby."

A tsunami of emotions flooded through your body, suddenly wide awake and hyper aware of everything that was going on; The television was nearing the end of the movie you had put on, your clock reading 1:32, the lights from the cars passing by casting various dancing shadows around your room.

"I've missed you, baby."

His voice was sweet, almost addictive and something you hadn't realized was a need buried deep inside you. You shuffled, forcing yourself up and sitting against the squishmallow he'd won for you on your first time, something you hadn't been able to get rid of.

"Hi, Peter," you voice was quiet, sleep still etched between the syllables. There was a beat of silence between the two of you, "Peter, why'd you call? It's been 10 months."

Peter let out a soft sigh, you could hear him shuffling around. "Missing you really bad tonight, love. M' on a mission," there was another sigh, "I almost got hurt, like really hurt. Thankfully Bucky was there. All I could think about was you."

"Peter!" You voice was now much louder, instantly filled with worry, "Don't go and get yourself ki-"

He cut you off, "I wasn't tryna get hurt, baby. We got ambushed. We had just went in there for me to copy some information onto a drive. Ended up being some rogue Hydra agents, a leg of them we didn't even know existed." Peter was rambling and he knew it, he was starting to think the reason he called was a bad one.

You sighed, body riddled with a million different emotions, "Pete, why'd you call me?"

"I miss you," his words had a slight whine to them, "I wanna touch you so badly, wanna hold you and kiss you."

If he was there you would have undoubtedly melted into him. The breakup was mutual, but difficult nonetheless. Between trying to focus on your career and all of the responsibilities Peter had, it was near impossible to maintain a relationship - there was no time for date nights or dinner, no time to sit and reminisce and talk about the future. For months, the only time spent together was sleeping in the same bed, which was almost always disrupted by some responsibility.

You two loved each other, loved each other more than yourselves most days. But it had become too taxing and tiring, the constant worrying, near lack of support because attention was needed elsewhere. So, after a long, tearful date night gone wrong, the two of you agreed to break up, maybe try again when there were less things counting on you both.

Peter regretted it immediately, but he had wanted to give you space, give you time to flourish and not worry about him. He'd asked M.J. and Ned all the time what you had been up to, he would check your Instagram and Snapchat to see the things you were posting and proud of. He did whatever he could to support you from afar.

But tonight, tonight he dared to be selfish, he needed to be selfish. Deep down he knew it was wrong, calling you up in the middle of the night because the adrenaline was still pumping through his veins and all he wanted was to be with you.

"I miss you too, Pete." Your voice was soft again, it always was in moments like this. Where the intimacy lay just behind every fiber in your body.

He hummed, starting to get antsy as he continued to try to figure out how to say what he wanted. "Baby, can you do me a favor?"

"What is it, Pete?" You almost hated how quickly you answered, how eager you were.

"Touch yourself, sweetheart. I wanna hear you touch yourself."

The gasp that left you was audible. Peter was never incredibly bold, never the type to initiate unless you two were definitely alone. Even in those moments, it was always sweet and loving. But this, Peter calling in the middle of the night, a desperate whine to his words and an insane neediness that make his tone demanding.

“Baby, if you don’t want to, you can just hang up. I won’t be upset with you.” You could hear some ruffling and the sound of metal hitting the floor. “I just miss the pretty sounds you make, miss the way your face scrunches up, miss the feeling of your skin against mine.”

This wasn’t a command you were going to disobey. He was still rambling, your mind only half paying attention to the honey-like words he was saying. “Do you want me to use my hand or one of my toys?”

He paused for a moment and you could practically hear the smile spread across his lips. “Use your hand, sweetheart. Run you hands across your body like I would.”

You could hear the moment Peter wrapped his hand around himself, a small groan leaving his lips. You listened to him, it being nearly impossible not to. "Wish you were here, Petey," the words slipped out of you as your fingers danced across your skin, sending goosebumps in their wake.

Your eyes were pinched shut, listening to every whimper and sigh the came through your phone, doing your best to pretend your own touch was his. "Me too, God, me too. Miss kissing your skin, hearing your little gasps when I nip."

"Peter," you couldn't help but whimper, forgoing anymore teasing and quickly giving your clit the much needed attention. It never took long with Peter for you to become needy and impatient, let alone when it had been almost a year since you heard the noises he was making, "I'm not gonna last long, want you so badly," your words were gasped out between soft moans, instant pleasure radiating from your core already making your body warm.

"Me neither, baby," there was a low groan that slipped from him, strangled as he attempted to hold himself together. With every sound you made, he nearly felt like he was in a dream. But he knew this was real, his subconscious hyper aware of the thin walls in the shitty hotel he was holed up in for the night and the super soldier who undoubtedly could hear him.

A endless stream of "fuck"s, gasps, moans, and whimpers flooded through each phone. It only took a few more minutes before the coil burst and the warmth of your high shook through your body, thighs quaking and chest heaving. Peter followed suit, a breathy moan of your name as he spilled into his hand and all over his abdomen.

There was a lingering silence as the other of you recovered, both taking in what has just happened while relishing in the aftermath. Peter broke the silence first, "Need to get m'self cleaned up," he mumbled. There was another beat of silence from him, "I do really miss you."

You hummed your agreement, shifting yourself into a more comfortable position. "I do really wish you were here."

He huffed out a small laugh, a sound that was laced with relief and contentedness. "I'll be home tomorrow at 4. I still got my key, I'll bring dinner, and we can talk. How does that sound?"

Now it was your turn to laugh, excitement filling every nerve in your body. "It sounds like a date."

#smut #peter parker #peter parker smut #mcu!peter parker #mcu!peter x reader #peter parker x reader #peter smut #mcu!peter smut #spiderman x reader #spiderman smut #peter parker one shot

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artificial-transmutations · 2 months

Text

Can you believe it?

10.02.2024

Can you fucking believe it?

As most of you know, I'm working for LifeCorp, and you won't believe what they just did to me! I'm pissed!

My job is, apparently, becoming 'obsolete' with the whole AI thing bla bla bla. But! Of course, they don't want to fire me. Instead, they're offering me alternative positions. So far so good, right? But do you know which positions they offered me?

- Security Guard

- Janitor

- Escort

Not that bad, right? I mean I don't have the skillset for any of those, but that is apparently no problem, because these jobs come with a fucking mandatory life change if I take them?

Apparently, my usual charming self is not enough:

What kind of bullshit is this? Normal companies ask you to move if you want to keep your job, LifeCorp requires you take on a whole new body, just to keep working for them.

You think that's outrageous? It gets better. Apparently, none of those jobs is suitable for a woman. I can be a male security guard, a male janitor or a male escort. And when I complained about it, they just said that for security guard and janitor, a strong body is a requirement, and they have enough female escorts already. What a bunch of assholes! There's absolutely no way I'm gonna take one of those jobs.

Love, Tracy

***

14.02.2024

Have you seen LifeCorp's newest shit post? The valentine's day special? The audacity!

Stacy and Zara are now fricking men? No doubt they have been bullied to make that change. You know what this company has? A fucking frat-boy attitude. More and more people are becoming guys, "BeCaUsE tHeY wAnT tO". Bullshit. It's clear to me that the upper management wants to see more dick in their company. Probably a cocksucker like Stacy and Zara have become. I'll talk to them first chance tomorrow.

Oh, and Matthew? Why would anyone want to become a Latino?!

Love, Tracy

***

18.02.2024

Okay, I talked to Stacy and Zara (No, I won't call them "Steel and Zacharias", these are still women!). They were all "Oh, we're so much happier now" and "We're finally being our true selves" and "You should do the same, really."

It's a fucking brainwash. I mean, they haven't been right in their mind to begin with (they had the delusion of being a couple - ha! Couples are one man and one woman, nothing else!), but it's becoming veeery clear to me that they have been forced and brainwashed. And I will find proof for that!

Love, Tracy

***

18.02.2024 - 2

Okay, I'm fuming now. I told my boyfriend about that whole job situation. And you know what he said? You know what he fucking said?

"Ok. Do whatever makes you happy."

He just said "Ok" and was all cool about it! He even had the audacity to tell me that they didn't force me to do anything and that I could just find a new job if I didn't want any of that bodies.

But the best part is still to come. He said, and I quote, "Just make sure to ask them to make me gay if you take any of those jobs, so we can still be together." I mean... wow. That's a reason for a breakup just there. He's a fricking man, or at least that's what I thought up until now. The thought of becoming gay should have been something that made him sick!

But, oh no. He's fine with it. Disgusting! I need to re-think this relationship.

Love, Tracy

***

19.02.2024

I have a plan!

I'm going to accept one of LifeCorps offers. No, hear me out. I'm gonna accept - and then I'll sue them. Discrimination, kidnapping, something like that. I'm gonna be rich. Oh, and about my boyfriend? He's gonna have it his way. I'll make sure they make him the fag he begs to be and then break up with him. This'll teach him. Good thing he doesn't read this feed.

I'm just too clever for this world. Take that, LifeCorp!

Gonna take the janitor, though. With all their fake diversity and stuff, the guard and escort probably aren't even white.

Love, Tracy

***

22.02.2024

I just got a letter congratulating me on my choice and that they are happy to keep me as an employee. Ha. If these losers knew.

Love, Tracy

***

26.02.2024

Holy shit! How do you guys even walk with that thing?

Needless to say, I got my new body. Here's what I look like now:

Apparently, they meant it well with me, cause my new dick is just... enormous. And they gave me some huge balls to match it, too.

The muscles aren't all that bad, either - I just feel big and powerful all around. The hair will take some getting used to, but it's not for long, after all. After I sue them, I'll demand my original body back.

I do have to admit, I'm feeling good, though. So much more powerful, but calm and happy at the same time. I wonder if this is a guy thing or a me thing? Is that how my boyfriend feels all the time?

Oh, gosh. My boyfriend. He's probably gay already, so I should break up with...

But that would be really mean. Also, thinking about him just made my new member react. It's kinda straining my underwear now. These things really do have a mind of their own, right?

What was I writing about? Yes, my boyfriend. Why did I want to break up with him? I mean, he's just cute like a button, right? I just realize what a gigantic asshole I was, planning to break up with him. I'll have to apologize. Or, even better, I'll apologize by showing show him this huge package I got. That's what he wanted, right?

I should really go. Don't want to keep him waiting.

...

You know what? I think I'll try out this new life before I make any more rushed decision. So far, I enjoy being a dude a lot and I'm actually looking forward to my new job. And my new-old boyfriend. And they didn't even force me to do anything. Perhaps I should ask them to adjust my ethnicity later on, though - I feel a bit more adventurous now. Also, I think I'll go by Trace now. It's an unusual name, but I like it.

Sorry for being such an ass before. Well, speaking of ass - off to get some.

Bye!

- Trace

#female to male tf #straight to gay #muscle transformation #hairy

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odiesdayoff · 6 months

Text

Trust Your Instincts

pair: Jaime Reyes x fem!reader

summary: Post-graduation, your childhood friend seems to be ignoring you. Once he shows up, secrets are revealed, voluntarily or not.

warnings: SMUT (18+++ MINORS DNI); begins as like pretty dubious, but turns into both parties consenting. Really thin line here, they do have a mutual attraction and explicitly say that they want it.

im gonna be so real i saw an ad for this and started writing...lol. Haven't seen BB at the time of writing this a while ago! Characters are prob inconsistent. i just have like a severe mask kink.

honestly this is unfinished, but i know in my heart I will never get back to it no matter how many times I say it lol. Imagine what happens next teehee.

“He’s not coming?” You brought the towel from over your shoulder and continued to dry the plates as Jaime’s mother handed them to you. Lunch was over and you were excited to see your best friend, but he was awol.

She gave you a sympathetic look as she handed you another clean plate. “I’m sorry, mija. He’s been acting strange ever since he got back. I know he misses you.”

You nodded and placed the towel on the counter. There’s no way he could possibly just up and abandon you after all this time. The two of you had been best friends since the first grade and even though he went all the way to Gotham City for college and you stayed in Texas, you were still close as ever. At least you think so.

“Well, I’ve gotta go. Thank you for the lunch, you know how much I adore your cooking.” You brought her into a hug and she kissed your cheek. She was like a second mom to you. All of Jaime’s family was basically your own. It took this long for them to stop the teasing about you getting together.

It had been months since Jaime allegedly returned to Texas and yet, he hasn’t reached out to you. Not by phone or in person, no matter how much you tried to talk to him. It felt worse than any breakup you’d gone through. Usually, he was the shoulder for you to cry on.

A loud crash woke you up. It was around two in the morning. In your flannel pajama pants and a black tank top, you ran into your living room to see what happened. There was a large hole where your door should have been and laying on the floor was Jaime.

Your hand flew to your mouth and knelt down to him. His curls stuck to his forehead from sweat and his chest rapidly rose and fell. “Get away! Please, get away!” He pushed you away, yelling and borderline whimpering.

There was something wrong with him and you weren’t just going to do what he told you. “Jaime, please just tell me what’s going on. You’re not okay.” You pushed his hair from his face only to see the fear in his eyes as he looked at you.

He flipped to his back and crawled until he hit the wall, his body colliding into it. Another dent appeared. Chips of drywall fell on him. “I’m…gonna call an ambulance, okay?”

You pulled out your phone, but before you could even unlock it, it was no longer in your hand. Jaime, now fully covered in a blue suit of armor, crushed it in his hand. “Oh my god.”

He dropped the phone and shook his head. “I don’t control it. It controls me. I promise you.” His voice was slightly distorted due to the helmet he had on.

“Okay, so can’t you call, like, Batman or something?” If this were a normal situation, you know that he would’ve laughed.

He held your shoulders. “I need you to get away. Right now.”

You shook your head. “I’m not gonna leave you like this.”

A robotic voice came from the suit, saying your full name and society security number. Jaime started to shake his head frantically and tried to step away from you. The suit disagreed.

The suit trapped you against the counter. “Please stop!” Jaime yelled. His helmet popped open to reveal his face, still scared. “I’m so sor-” The suit didn’t let him finish, instead it pushed him towards you. His lips crashed into yours.

You felt guilty kissing back. It wasn't either of your volition, but the teenage version of yourself was screaming and frolicking in a field of flowers just to be kissing him.

The robotic voice returned, louder now. “It is my duty to keep you healthy. Sexual health is one of those aspects.” The suit retracted more, pulling his shirt and jeans from his body. He was left in his boxers, staring at you. It continued. “I know you have a crush on her. Don’t be a pussy.”

His eyes widened and his cheeks grew red. “Is that true?” He sheepishly nodded.

You bit your lip. “It’s true for me, too.”

#jaime reyes x reader #blue beetle x reader #blue beetle #odiesdayoff

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snenbubs · 4 months

Note

I've been reading your work for a while now and the way you write for Mammon is amazing, you're definitely my favourite writer for him. So I was wondering if you aren't too busy if could you please write breakup headcanons for mammon

HELLO! Thank you so, so much!!! It means so much to me that you enjoy what I write! Most of it is my delerious train of thought at like 1am so im honestly shocked at the amount of support ive been getting!

ANYWAYS, ONTO THE HCS!

HB MAMMON X GN!READER, BREAKUP HCS

I'm assuming you meant like, if you broke up with Mammon? If thats not what u meant just send in another anon! I wont mind :3

- Okay, first of all, how dare you?

- He is, the Mammon. You don't just decide when things are over!

- You were smart enough to break it off with him over text, rather than in person, because he absolutely would throw a scene. No matter where you are, public or private. Think Sarah Lynn level shit.... like, literally stabbing himself, in public, to prove a point.

- What is the point? That he loves you!

- He's especially pissed off about the fact that you broke it off with him though. It bruised his ego, he would much, much prefer it if he had been the one to have broken up with you. He would have never done that though.

- He would go through the five stages of grief 100%

- For the first few days he's in DEEP denial about it. He'd go about life as though the two of you were still together, even though you weren't there.

- Pretending that you were on a work trip or something really helped. It gave him a sense of hope that one day you'd return to him, and he'd feel your warm body embraced against his once again.

- But you and Mammon were a big public thing, like, everyone knew about you. So, people started to notice your absence. Where you would always be by his side now bore an empty pocket of air. People started questioning it;

- From simple posts online to 666News interviews asking him invasive questions regarding your lack of publicity. It pissed him right off, because he couldn't pretend you were still with him whilst constantly being reminded that you weren't.

- And then you spoke up about the breakup.

- You made a Tweet regarding the status of your relationship. Que the next stage...

- With the world now aware of your distanced status Mammon was bombarded with crude comments and remarks, from your fans and haters, to his fans and haters. It'd range from "Wow Mammon fumbled the bag hard." to "Now that Mammon is single do you think he'll start letting groupies backstage ?"

- He actually refused to show up to a lot of interviews and talk-shows because every single time theu brought up the headline, he would get so, so angry. He's almost torn through an interviewer once or twice.

- His bargaining phase was the absolute worst phase though.

- Thousands of calls a day, and an equal level of voice messages followed by hundreds of texts. You'd block his number and then BAM, another number calls you. He manipulates the phone manufacturer of Hell to give him an unlimited free supply of phones so expect him to not let up in that department.

- You know that meme where the person is stood outside the door, crying, with an umbrella over their head and fake rain over them. That's him.

- He gets Beelzebub to provide the fake rain and probably prepared a whole speech to recite to you... its not that good though, most of it is deflective bullshit. He wont take his own problems into account at all.

- If you don't take him back after that then he may even resort to the old boombox by the window trick.

- I don't think he'd hit the depression or acceptance stages of grief, though. He's a tempermental character and he resorts to anger if something doesn't go his way. So the traits he shows through this whole ordeal is frustration and desperation.

- He has a strict victim complex too. So he's most likely never going to understand what he did wrong in the relationship.

- Even if he did realise what he did however, he isn't apologising. He expects you to understand and forgive him despite this.

-It would take him a long while to get over you.

-You were one of the only people who would put up with his shitty personality, who could make him feel so loved and adored. It had been a long, long time since someone had made him feel such a way. It was such a fleeting experience, and he will not be recovering from the loss of your love any time soon.

This is a little short, so I do apologise! I hope you enjoy it anon :)

#helluva boss x reader #mammon hb #mammon hb x reader #hb mammon #mammon helluva boss #hb mammon x reader #headcannons #breakup headcannons

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afriendlyblackhottie · 11 months

Text

Breakup to Make Up

Summary: Chris is tired of pretending he doesn’t want you.

Pairings: frat boy! Chris Evans x black!reader

Warnings: minors dni, smut, unprotected sex, arguing, make up sex

(A/N: long time no see 😭 this took me forever to finish, but we’re finally here! Maybe a little rushed at the end cuz I just really really wanted to post something. Anyway please like, follow, and reblog with comments. Thank you 💜✌🏾)

—————————————————

He wondered if you could feel him watching your every move. Eyes trailing up and down that body. Thinking about how it had been way too long since he’d seen it with nothing on. Three weeks to be exact. Fuck had you been mad at him.

He knows he shouldn’t have freaked out over your little friend or whatever but so what he was jealous. Yeah, yeah it made him a hypocrite or whatever but it’s not like you didn’t know about Britt.

And after that night it’s not like they’d been fucking around. Britt had ‘needed time to think.’ The two of them really only keeping up with appearances.

But he’d done it.

Finally.

Broke up with her.

Sure he knew the shit storm that would ensue was going to be not great. When her parents find out all hell would probably break loose. Her mother had big plans for them.

Ya know the whole big wedding. Where they move into a giant home in a suburb of Boston to be the perfect New England family. Chris was supposed to go off and be this guy that everyone was expecting him to be.

But what about what he wanted him to be. Maybe he didn’t want to think about what he was supposed to do. What about what he wanted to do.

Right now he wanted you.

Even if you were acting like couldn’t see him. It seemed like you’d been avoiding social settings. Which made sense, considering Britt’s sorority seemed to have it out for you even more than they did before.

It wasn’t like people hadn’t known about the argument over beer pong. Had been calling you trashy and shit. As if Britt wasn’t completely trying to egg you on. It’s just normally you wouldn’t have stood up for yourself as you usually tried to brush her off but then it was like how dare you not kiss the queen bee’s ass.

He was tired of dating a bully. It made him look like an ass too. Then you had the nerve to look so fucking sexy telling her off. Made him remember the moment he sunk into you. Chris didn’t even know sex could feel like that. Then he found himself envelopes in your warmth and now he couldn’t go back. So yeah sorry if you made him a little crazy.

Even still you’d done a great job at ignoring him. Had clearly blocked his number. Thought you were getting away from him. Clearly you didn’t know who you were fucking with because Chris had no intention of just letting you go and what giving someone else the chance to touch you? Over his dead body.

He’d been letting you play your little games and act like this but he was tired of it. He needed to get what was his. You were his.

Finally your eyes were connected. Though you tried to look away all quickly. And yet they still kept making their way to his. No way you were still mad at him.

Found himself chuckling when one of his frat brothers came up to you to start talking. Yeah fucking right. As if you’d show Preston any fucking attention.

So why the fuck were you giving him your number.

————

Ever since that day, Chris found himself more irritated than usual as he saw the way Preston had hung around you. Like a little fucking fly just buzzing around his favorite piece of dessert.

Grossed him the fuck out. Made him want to hit something. You had to be doing this on purpose, right? Was trying to get under his skin.

So what he couldn’t help himself. He needed to talk to you. “What, Chris?” You asked him all flat. Arms crossed. As if you were really sick of him.

“Cut the shit,” he said, leaning against the doorframe. Surprised you even answered the door of your dorm. Of course he saw you left and needed to make sure you were home and not who knows where with Preston of all people especially. Couldn’t stand the idea of that dweeb hanging around you. Around what was his. Even if you didn’t want to admit it to yourself. “What’s going on between you and Preston?” He asked.

You found yourself scoffing. “That is none of your business.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? It’s not? So you’re saying if I were to push you back into your room and take those cute little shorts down I’m not gonna find a wet pussy underneath it?”

Your eyes narrowed at this. He really had some damn nerve. Shrugged you answered, “Maybe. Just because you turn me on doesn’t mean I’m yours.”

Chris bit his tongue. Eyes trailing up down your body. Had you been waiting for someone. Seemed like you were dressed for a dick appointment.

“Chris, what’re you doin’ here?” Preston’s voice could be heard behind him and he immediately thought about turning around to punch him in the face. Instead his eyes connected with yours in a snarl.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Chris asked.

“Preston, what are you doing here?” You asked at the same time.

“Wanted to see if you had the notes from chem,” he said, looking between the two of you. “Remember.”

“Oh,” you shook your head. “Yeah just let me grab ‘em.”

Chris raised an eyebrow. So if you weren’t dressed like this for him then who were you dressed like this for. He followed you into your room, glancing behind you as he came to sit on your bed. Damn sure wasn’t leaving now that he was here. Not after seeing Preston here.

You took him the notes and Chris could hear you exchanging thank you’s before closing the door. “Who the hell do you think you are?” You snapped at him.

“No who the hell do you think you are?” He repeated. “What were you hoping something would happen with Preston of all fucking people?”

“I didn’t say that!” You exploded. “Why am I even explaining anything to you. Weren’t not together. You have a girlfriend!”

“I broke up with her!” He finally admitted.

Chris couldn’t hold it in anymore. Had hated that the two of you hadn’t been talking as is and now there it was. All out on the table. Shit.

Your jaw hung open at his confession. Chest thumping. “W-what?” You asked, unsure if you misheard him.

“I broke up with Britt,” he repeated. “After our fight, I don’t know,” he looked away from you not able to handle the way you were looking at him with those big eyes, “I guess I realized you were right. That it wasn’t fair.”

Crossing your arms in front of your chest, sitting down beside him. Not that you knew what to say. Sure you’d thought about this moment a fuck ton of times, but never thought it would actually happen. Men like Chris didn’t actually leave their girlfriends for their side chicks. Or that’s what you’d been telling yourself to get over it.

“Just figured why the hell do I keep wasting time with her when I-,” he cut himself off trying to even figure out what he was trying to say. Those words on the tip of his tongue but it wasn’t easy. “Then I come here and you’re dressed like this and here comes Preston I-,”

“Chris, it… I didn’t know he was coming by,” you went on to say. “Not that you’d have any right to be mad anyway.”

That made him look at you, head snapping in your direction. “Watch it, Y/N,” he said. “Just because we were fighting doesn’t mean you weren’t mine.”

“We weren’t fighting I broke up with you,” you said.

“No,” he said. “Sure I gave you your space, but you did not break up with me. And I better not find out that you’ve been with anyone sense.”

You glared at him. Crossing your arms as you looked away. Only for him to put his hand under your chin to make you look back at him. “I’m not your property.”

“I didn’t call you property. I would never call you that. You are my woman, though. And I better never find out that anyone else got to have you.” He got closer to whisper into your ear. Fuck you were finally so close to him. At least you were only in your dorm wearing a skimpy little thing like this. Actually… “Whats with what you’re wearing anyway.”

“Not that it’s any of your business-,” you started to say only for him to drop his hand to your neck to give you a warning squeeze.

“Everything you do is my business,” he corrected.

You rolled your eyes. “My roommates out with her boyfriend so I decided to have a nice romantic night in with myself,” you finished.

Which in his head all he heard you say was that you had the whole place to yourselves. No Preston to interrupt. Not you running off to some little study buddy either. He didn’t give a shit about your nasty attitude. Could fuck you through that. Would have you acting sweeter than a peach after he fucked it out of you.

“Anything else you need to know, Warden,” you said, trying to sound all snooty. He’d had it up to here with you, though. Yanking you into him so you’d lay across his lap. “Hey!”

“I’d watch how you talk to me if I were you. Sure my frat brothers probably know how much of a slut you are, but you want your neighbors to know too?”

“We ca- Chris!” You gasped as he cupped your ass. Putting his thumb in between your ass cheek to really get a grip on it. Yeah he’d never go that long without touching you like this ever again. See why he couldn’t help get jealous. He was fucking crazy about you. All of you.

“What was that?” He taunted, hand coming up so he could deliver a sharp slap to the globe of your ass cheek. Gasping again and hips jumping up. “That’s what I thought,” he said when he realized you weren’t talking back for once. “Gonna watch your fucking mouth now, huh?”

You didn’t say anything. Just laid with your head against the mattress. Almost like you were trying to hide from him.

Chris laid a smack on your ass before groping you. “Let’s get it clear, Sweetheart. You’re mine. Your pussy is mine. Your body is mine. Even your fucking heart is mine.” He grabbed you by your hair to pull your head up so he could bring your face up to his. “Do I make myself clear?”

“Chris, I-,” you whimpered, a stray tear falling. Hated how turned on you were.

He’d cut you off by grabbing your ass again, sharply. “Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?” He asked. Not giving a shit about what excuse you were ready to come up with.

You nodded, bottom lip trembling. Chris let out an irritated breath. All he wanted to do was love you right now. Kiss you. Show you how much he’d been missing you. Instead here you were playing little fucking games.

He put his hand against your jaw. Pulling you into his mouth. “What? You can’t speak?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. “You gotta problem?”

You shook your head but Chris could hear you sniffle. Ah shit. Instead of keeping it going he pulled you up. Pulling you into his lap.

“I th-though-thought you-you didn’t wa-want m-me,” you were sobbing into his shoulder. Except he couldn’t exactly understand you.

He wrapped his arms around you. Rocking you back and forth. “Shhh, Baby. Its okay. I got you. I’m sorry.” He said anyway. Whispering into your ear. Squeezing you so you had to get as close as possible to him.

“I thought you didn’t want me,” you repeated, much more clear this time. Tears still streaming down your face.

Chris furrowed his brow. Hating those words as soon as they left your mouth. “Never, Baby. I just didn’t know what to do. Wanted to have my cake and eat it, too.”

“What about you and Britt?” You asked with a sniffle.

“We’re done, Baby. I promise. There’s no one else,” he whispered in your ear, kissing behind your earlobe. “I’m all yours.”

You nodded, pulling away as your lip trembled. “Promise?”

“I promise,” he replied leaning in to press a plump kiss to your lips. Only meaning for it to be quick except he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. Had been too fucking long since he’d tasted you.

Chris laid back, taking you with him. Lips moving against each other. Fuck he missed this. Hands going to your ass to squeeze you. Needing to feel you all over. Can’t believe he went this long.

“Chris,” you moaned against his mouth. Fucking music to his ears. He turned you over in your bed so he was on top. Making sure to get nice and situated between your thighs.

Pinning your hands down with his as he felt himself getting harder. Needed you fucking bad. That’s why he couldn’t help himself when he came over here. Had been sick of waiting for you to come to him. If he needed to chase you so be is.

His bicep curled around your thigh. Not able to stop himself from finally fucking doing it. If anything it shouldn’t have taken him this long. Couldn’t help it with his stubborn ass.

“Chris,” you whimpered as his lips began to trail your neck. Back arching so you pressed into him deeper. Tits getting squished against his chest. As bad as he wanted to stay like this, he wanted more. Pulling away so he could take his shirt off.

“That’s my girl,” he whispered, before kissing you quickly. “You missed me, huh.”

You nodded, throwing your arms around him. Nails trailing along his muscular back making him shiver underneath your touch. “You know I did.”

He licked his lips, kissing your again. “I missed you, too,” he confessed. Not like he hadn’t spent most of last week in denial about it. If he hadn’t seen you talking to that asshole would he have even finally got his shit together. Probably not. The jealousy had eaten him up.

Especially since he’d been trying to give Britt the time she asked for. Didn’t want to be a complete and total dick. Too bad he wanted his girl. So now he finally had you right where he wanted you. Underneath him. Ready for a taste when-

“Y/N, have you seen my-,” a voice interrupted the two of you. Making you pull away quickly as your roommate stopped when she saw. “Shit! Sorry!” She backed out, closing the door behind her.

You pushed against him so you could get up. Chris groaned, realizing how fucking hard he was. Had been ready to claim you all over again and now you were getting up to go after her to ask what she wanted. Definitely embarrassed by the shy look on your face when you came back. “She forgot her card,” you mumbled when you sat back down on the bed.

“Oh,” he replied. “That’s okay. You okay?”

“Yeah I’m okay,” you replied, biting your lip.

Chris smiled. Not being able to help himself when he scooted you on his lap. Kissing your cheek. “You hungry? Want to get some food or we could hang out somewhere. Something.”

“Like, you wanna hang out in public?” You asked.

He nodded. “Yeah. No more keeping this behind closed doors, okay?”

With that you nodded too, a smile spreading on your lips. “Just let me get ready.”

“Of course, Baby.”

——————————————————-

You could really tell Chris had been trying to put in the effort. From making it clear that he was definitely your boyfriend. To you practically living in his room. Still though aside from making out the two of you hadn’t had sex and he’d been dying to take it back to that.

Seemed like every time he got close, someone would interrupt or the two of you would end up talking. Which was great, but fuck he doesn’t think his dick can live like this anymore. It was like constant blue balls 24/7.

Sometimes you’d have your ass all pressed up against him while you slept. Wondering if you could feel him under you. Had been wearing a pair of panties underneath the shirt he let you borrow. Which had risen up so his cock could be pressed up right against your soft skin.

He doesn’t think he’d been this horny since he first hit puberty. Not like you’d be mad at him if he slid in. If anything he knew you’d take it. You always took it. Except then you got your period and while he didn’t give a shit, you did and told him you didn’t want your first time again to be like that.

At least he got to be with you in public now. Didn’t care who saw him hold your hand. Kissed you wherever he felt like, whenever he wanted. And you and your best friend seemed happy dragging him and her boyfriend everywhere. Even out to lunch where you were sitting way to close to him. Feeling all over his thigh.

“Unless you’re trying to start something, I suggest you stop,” he said, into your ear.

“Maybe I am,” you whispered back to him before kissing his cheek.

“Oh well, isn’t this cute,” a familiar voice interrupted you, making your heads snap up.

Chris groaned as soon as he saw his ex standing there glaring down at them. Three of her little minions beside her. “Britt,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Cut the shit, Christopher,” she snapped. “Look, I played nice when I knew you were fucking her behind my back-,”

You interrupted his ex with a cackle. Not able to help yourself. “Was it really behind your back?” You tilted your head to the side. “Not like you weren’t there.”

“Wait, what?” Your roommate gasped, suddenly everyone turning to look at her.

“Tell ‘em, Britt,” you said with a shrug. “About how you dared me to fuck your boyfriend and saw that I did it better than you and I fucked him so good he saw that he didn’t need to put up with your shit anymore.”

It had been clear you’d been waiting to get some things off your chest to her. Not that Chris could blame you. Britt had no business messing with you before and now look.

Britt’s jaw dropped as her friends turned to her. “You did what?” One of them asked with a raised eyebrow, almost like she wanted to laugh. The one Chris had been telling her was not her friend of all people.

Chris looked over at you. Shocked by your reaction. He knew you didn’t like Britt, but he’d never seen you like this. It was kind of hot seeing you stick up for yourself. Laying claim to him.

“Chris! You’re just gonna let her talk to me like that?” She gasped, stomping her foot.

“It’s not like she’s lying,” he replied. You sat beside him with a smirk. Leaning over to kiss behind his ear. Kind of enjoying you like this. That’s when he put his hand on your thigh , squeezing it.

Britt stomped away. Her friends not too far behind. Then he found himself trying to rush so the two of you could get the fuck out of there and back to his bedroom. Was tired of waiting and shit.

“Chris!” You squealed as he picked you up, pushing your back into the wall.

“Looked so fucking hot,” he said, making you gasp as his lips had went to your neck, must have been trying to leave you a hickey with the way he was sucking on your neck. “Need you so bad.”

“I didn’t tell you, but I got off my period this morning,” you said, biting your lip.

“You weren’t going to tell me?” He asked.

You shrugged. “Wanted to see how long you could go?”

Chris smacked your ass. Leaving his hands there so he could spread your ass cheeks apart. Ready to give it to you like he’d been missing. Sure he could have made your first time together again special and it would be, but the candles and rose petals would have to wait for another time.

“Don’t ever do that shit again,” he said into to it ear. “You hear me?”

You nodded before smashing your lips to his. Hands feeling all over his muscles in his shoulders. Not able to help yourself. Wanting to be close to him. Couldn’t believe he was finally all yours. Hadn’t even realized you were in his room until he laid you down in his bed.

“Missed you, Baby,” he said, flipping over so you could be on top of him. Straddling him around his waist as his hands went back to your ass.

“I missed you, too,” you whimpered, grinding against him. Needing to feel the friction. Pussy getting wetter as you spoke. “Please,” you preened.

“What do you want, Baby?” He asked, helping you remove your top.

“I want you. Want you so bad,” you moaned, as his lips went to your chest. Nipping and sucking and biting. Making you gasp for him as you lowered yourself so you were right over his dick. The friction making your jaw drop open as you didn’t stop. “Fuck, fuck me. Please.”

“I should make you beg for it since you made me wait this long,” he said, putting his thumb against your crotch. Ready to take off your pants. Putting you on your back once again so he could do that. “I don’t even know if you can handle it.”

Not like you didn’t agree. How the hell were you going to take him. It had been too long since you did and while you’d spent plenty of nights thinking about it, you were almost scared to try. Maybe that’s why you’d been welcoming every distraction. Don’t know if you were ready to be split open again.

Though, right now you’re not really sure you had much of a choice. Not with the hunger in his eyes. You’d denied him for far too long.

He started kissing down your body. Bringing your legs up so that he could get situated between your thighs. Knew he finally had you right where he wanted you.

“Chris,” you cried, hands going to your hair as he started licking you up. Wanted to get you properly wet first. Had to so you could take him properly. He knew as soon as he slid in there was no way he was holding back.

He peeked up at you, watching your face screw all up before throwing your head back. Moaning his name and moving your hips. Chris put his hands on your thighs, holding you down. Had you right where he wanted you and he wasn’t about to let you fuck that up.

“You’re gonna make me-,” you stopped with a gasp, “Christopher!” You breathed. “Shit, Chris. Fuck. Chris!” Eyes rolling back as it finally happened, juices cascaded into his mouth. “Ugh!”

Seeing you like this, fuck he couldn’t wait anymore. Needed to be inside of you now. As he kissed up your body, he hoped to leave a few hickies in his wake. Getting to your lips and making sure his kiss was deep.

Pushing your legs apart with his knees as he got situated between you. Pinning your hands down with his as he used his hips to guide his dick towards your entrance. “Fuck!” You gasped as he pushed the tip in. Head going back into the pillow underneath. A furrow creasing in your brow as you looked down between you.

Chris put his hand under your chin so you had to move your face back up. Eyes locked into each other. Licking your lips as your words had been caught in your throat as he went in deeper. Almost not even wanting to give you time to adjust, but this was your first time in a long time.

Unlike the real first time, it was just the two of you. Sure that’s how things had ended up anyway after Britt realized he’d never been like that with her. He’d wanted to feel bad about it, but hell it’s not like she hadn’t put him in that position in the first place. Literally. If she hadn’t been bugging you, you wouldn’t have ended up under him. Taking him in a way she never did.

Sure he tried to hold on for old times sake, but after he found out how she’d been it was hard for him to look past it. What did he look like dating a fucking bully. If anything he kind of owed you for all the shit you put up with. Not that you clearly had any problem with fighting back. Fuck that shit was so sexy.

Chris kissed your neck, listening to you moan as he thrusted his hips. Fuck you felt better than he remembered. Not like those same thoughts weren’t crossing your mind. Couldn’t believe you were like this after that time apart.

Had been so sure you could move on and you wanted to. Really did. Except he kept creeping into your head. Thinking about him like this. The way he fucked you like he owned your pussy and to be honest, he did. Even when you were broken up.

At this point everything between you had been an open secret in your frat. Hell, even when you tried to flirt with Preston he laughed and said he didn’t want to get punched for fucking around with you.

Didn’t even want to try being with someone else. How could you when you were pretty sure no other man could fuck you like this. He’d officially ruined you.

“Harder,” you whined into his ear, clawing at his back. Had been trying to be close to you, but fuck it. He missed you for a reason. The nice and tender shit was cute, but it had been too goddamn long.

Chris flipped you over to grab you by your hips. Making sure your ass was in the air right where he wanted it. You braced yourself as you felt him guide into you again. Squeezing your eyes shut as he bottomed out. Body trembling as you forced yourself to take his dick. “Fuck!” You sobbed into the sheets.

He rolled his hips just now he knew you liked. Exactly how he’d been thinking about. Looking down to see the way you’d started to cream around him.

Trying to give you exactly what you asked for. “You’re- you’re gonna- you’re- I’m gonna fucking cum, Chris!” You looked back at him. One of your hands going to your breasts as you played with your nipples. The extra stimulation making you clench around him.

“That’s my fucking girl,” he groaned, slapping your ass. “Fucking cum for me. I want everyone in the house to hear that we’re back together. Cum for me. Want you to scream my name.”

“Chris!” You sobbed just like he wanted you to, ass shaking as you did as you were told. There’s his fucking girl. Fuck he missed you.

Lowering yourself as it became harder for you to hold yourself up. Only for him to go with you. Covering your body with his as he didn’t stop rocking into you.

Coming up to wrap a bicep around your neck. His other arm wrapping around you. Couldn’t stop himself as he manhandled you.

“Feel so fucking good,” he whispered in your ear. Nose pressed up against the side of your face.

“Chris, I- ugh you’re gonna make me cum again!” You mewled. “Fuck I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he whispered back, half wanting to stop to turn you over but not wanting to stop because he wanted to cum. He’s not really sure he had much of a choice anyway. Hips starting to stutter along.

You were just so fucking tight around him. Especially when you were ready to cum. “Fuuuuuuck, Baby,” he groaned. “Feel so fucking- you’re gonna make me- fuck!” He groaned as he did it. Unloading inside of you. Not giving a fuck about protection or anything. Not like he ever did.

Sure the two of you should be more careful, but he can’t bring himself to actually care too. Would it be the worst thing in the world if you were stuck with him? Not for him at least. You were his for the the rest of his life as far as he was concerned.

Chris didn’t move an inch to get off of you. Trying to not put all his weight on you, but at the same time he could melt. Can’t believe it’d taken him so long to get back here.

All while you clung to him. Almost like you were afraid he’d float away. As if he’d go anywhere. Chris didn’t even want to move a muscle until he rolled over so he could pull you into him.

“I love you, Baby,” he whispered, into your hair. Ready to fall asleep as you whispered back to him. Half asleep and drunk on love. Knowing the two of you were finally right where you were supposed to be. Together.

#fics by AFBH #Chris Evans smut #chris evans x poc!reader #chris evans x black reader #chris evans x female reader #Chris Evans x black!reader

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ahgasegotarmy116 · 3 months

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Seven Days to Fall Again | Friday | Jeon Jungkook

Inspired by the MV "Seven" by Jung Kook ft. Latto (obvi lol) Summary:Caught in the rain, trying to get to you. You tried to go out to clear your head but he wants to make sure you know he's always looking out for you. Pairing: Reader x Jungkook (almost exes to lovers lol) Word Count: 4.3k (longest chapter so far lol) Warnings: Smut (too lazy to add specifics lol), Explicit language that's it lol a/n: Hey guys so uh...got a little carried away with this one but I said this a little while ago but Friday really didn't have much of a plot in the mv so I kinda just went with whatever felt right. I hope you like it! Let me know what you think! p.s. barely edited and written in one sitting but I figured I might as well post it lol Start from the beginning

I'm going out tonight, nothing major or anything I just wanted to go out so I can get him off my mind even if it's only for a few hours.

Walking into the restaurant I'm greeted with a big group of my colleagues and I slide in next to one of the girls while I greet everyone. A couple of minutes later we all settle back into our own separate conversations with one of the many not so comfortable ones about to start.

"You look like shit" Kayla whispers to me. She's my best friend so I'm used to her being this honest but it still comes as a surprise sometimes. "Thanks Kay" I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes at her before taking a sip of water.

"No but for real what's wrong? You've been ignoring me for the past few days and then suddenly you're inviting everyone out like nothings happened?" she questions, knowing that something's up. "What's wrong with inviting people out? I'm sorry I haven't been answering you, I've have a busy couple of days" I say, not necessarily lying but knowing that I had the time to respond to her if I wanted to.

I decided to just take what I had hoped for was a step back for a second to just do me but then I ended up dealing with Jungkook chasing me around instead so everything else just seemed like it was too much. "Whatever" Kayla says taking a sip of her beer, knowing I'm lying but deciding not to push it. If it were just the two of us I know she would shake me until I spit it out but she knows better than to do that in front of everyone.

"So y/n, how are things going? We thought that Jungkook would've come with you" one of the girls at the other end of the table says with her boyfriend right next to her nodding in agreement. "Oh he had to work late" I say giving a simple excuse hoping they'll drop it and luckily they do. Before we're able to move on though my eyes widen in horror as I see the devil himself walking into the restaurant and look around until he spots me, giving me a soft smile with an unreadable expression.

"Hey guys" Jungkook says awkwardly but comes up to sit next to me and gives me a kiss on the cheek to make things seem normal, being able to tell from my body language alone that I haven't told anyone about the breakup yet.

"Hi Noona" he whispers in my ear making me shiver. I scold myself for letting my body betray me but I can't really do much to change it anymore. I pull away from him and take another drink of water trying to cover up things but I can tell from the slight smile on his face he know he's still got a hold on me.

"Oh Jungkook! Y/n was just saying how you couldn't come because you were working late" the same girl asks, curious for an explanation. I know she means well but this girl just doesn't know when to quit. "Oh I wanted to surprise her" he says draping his arm around the back of my chair. It's luckily an answer that satisfies all of them and the conversation switches to another topic soon after.

"What are you doing here?" I turn and whisper to him, making sure the people around us definitely won't hear. "I went by the apartment and I saw that you weren't there and I got worried. You still share your location with me so I wanted to come and make sure you were okay" he says placing his hand on my thigh as a way to show his sincerity and also play the part of still being a happy couple.

"Well as you can see I'm fine so you can leave now" I say and pull back giving him a pointed look but before he can respond another person from the group speaks up. "What are you two love birds talking about over there?" one of the guys teases. "Wouldn't you like to know" Jungkook says with a smug smile taking the burden of having to come up with an excuse off of me.

"How have things been with you guys though? It's been a while since either of you have been out with us?" another girl asks. When did tonight become a ask y/n and Jungkook 20 questions? Why can't we just drink and eat and talk about anything but us, even though there's not really an 'us' right now.

"Things have been good, yeah we're- oh look the food is here!" I start but I'm thankfully given an excuse to turn the topic to something else as the waiters place all of the various side dishes in front of us as well as the raw meat to grill with everyone's minds are now focused on getting everything ready to eat.

Jungkook gets a piece of meat off the grill and adds it to his ssam and I go to do the same but as soon as I'm putting the finishing touches on mine Jungkook holds his out and offers it to me. "Open" he says, urging me to let him feed me and I give him a dead pan expression, annoyed that he would even go this far.

I look around the table and see the others taking little glances at us and commenting on how cute we are and so I turn my eyes back over to him and open my mouth for him to put in and he does so happily, watching attentively and making sure I don't choke on anything.

Once I've chewed a bit I continue filling the one I was working on and instead overfill it and hold it out for Jungkook to eat. He looks down at it, intimidated by the size but once I cock a brow at him he opens his mouth receiving it and the next second I shove it into his mouth, leaving him coughing and struggling to get it down.

"Is he okay?" one of the guys asks me. "Oh yeah he's fine don't worry about it. Aren't you honey?" I say, daring him to say otherwise and he simply holds up an 'okay' sign with his hand as he coughs and tries his best to chew and swallow everything down which annoyingly he's able to do.

"How did that taste love?" I whisper to him with a sickeningly sweet smile, payback for him showing up here even though he knew I wouldn't want him here. "Was that really necessary?" he questions after taking a few gulps of water. "Was you coming here really necessary? I told you to leave me alone" I whisper to him and at this point I sound like a broken record.

"I want to talk to you though" he responds doing just the same. "And until you let me I'm just gonna keep showing up and bothering you until you give me a chance to do so" he says, finally admitting to his nonsense tactic to getting his way, clearly making his younger age show. I stand up abruptly, and decide that I have given up on keeping up appearances and make moves to leave.

"Sorry guys I'm not feeling well so I think I'm gonna get going" I say and open my purse and hand Kayla twenty dollars to cover my part of the bill. "You okay?" she asks and I say yes but she can clearly see that I'm not. "I'll be fine guys don't worry I'm just gonna head home and get some rest" I say and when I start to walk away Jungkook follows after also following suit to give Kayla more than enough to cover for us.

"You can stay here and have fun with them" I says sweetly, putting up an act for them but using it as a threat to him. "No it's okay Jungkook go help take care of her we'll see you guys next time" one of them says but before I'm able to disagree Jungkook jumps in. "Thanks for everything guys" he responds before ushering the both of us towards the exit.

Before we step outside the door though we finally notice it's started to rain, and not just rain but a full on downpour. "When did it start raining?" I ask looking at the world outside as it looks a though it had been raining for ages already. "It looked kind of cloudy when I came in but it wasn't raining yet" he says, just as shocked by the sight.

"Lemme call us a cab" he says and pulls out his phone to do so. "No I can get one myself" I say and take a deep breath before walking out, no rain jacket, no umbrella, nothing. I just need to get away from here and away from him as soon as possible. "Y/n where are you going?" he says and runs after me and before I'm even able to try and hail a cab I can clearly see that there are none in sight.

"Just come back inside and we can wait for one and if you want we can even take separate cabs" he offers trying to meet me halfway. "No, I don't need your help" I say and blindly start walking away, hoping he will just go back inside and leave me alone "Noona wait it's too dangerous!" he calls after me but I don't even bother looking back.

"You know you're going the wrong way right?" he yells, hoping to get me to turn around and let him help me. "I don't care" I yell back and start walking faster. "Where are you going?" he yells, making sure to still stay close. "Away from you" I say and keep going on my journey to no where.

"Just let me help you get home okay, please" he begs but I don't budge, I'm gonna keep walking until he gets tired and finally leaves me alone. "You know I'm not letting you walk these streets all by yourself right? As long as you're out here I'm staying with you" he say, seeing right through me but I keep walking anyway.

~~~~~~

I keep walking and walking until we've come to that same bookshop I had been in just yesterday, finally taking notice of just how far I've walked. I finally stop and catch my breath for a second, trying to figure out what the hell kind of point I'm trying to prove here but I can't come up with one that is big enough to do something ridiculous like this.

He catches up to me a few seconds later and just stands beside me, not trying to get closer and not bothering to say anything since he knows it would probably just make me even more angry.

We stand there for a second and I look up at the sky, taking a deep breath before looking back over at him where he's just standing there and looking at the wet ground around me, not making eye contact with me either, just making sure that I know that he's going to be right here standing next to me no matter what I say.

I take another deep breath and swallow my pride before holding my hand out for him to take. He shifts his weight away from me and just stares at it for a second, trying to figure out what caused a change in heart that I would not only stop but ask for him to grab my hand.

"So you gonna take it or not?" I ask getting irritated that he's taking too long to make up his mind and at that he reaches his hand out quickly and places it in mine before looking back up at me with a questioning gaze. Instead of responding I just tug on his hand and turn us both around to walk back the way we just came and start heading back home.

~~~~

Once we get to the door I immediately grab my keys and open up, letting the both of us inside. "Fuck I'm freezing" I say taking off my shoes and stripping off my sweater, forgetting the tiny tank top I'm wearing without a bra and I don't even notice until I turn back around and see that he's staring at my chest, nipples cold and hard and when he he notices I'm staring at him he looks up at me with an intensity I haven't seen in a while.

I look at him, drinking in his figure as well seeing how soaked his white t-shirt is and how his pants are clinging to his thighs. I gulp and look back up at his face where his eyes have gotten even darker from observing how I was checking him out as well.

He takes a few steps towards me and I stumble back against a wall and am forced to watch as he takes a few steps closer until he's looking right down at me. He takes his hand and reaches for the one he had been holding before and then brings it up to his lips giving it a kiss.

"Why did you let me in?" he questions, his voice deeper and a bit strained from breathing in the cold air from the journey here. "I-i don't know" I whisper and my eyes flick down to his lips unconsciously and he takes that as a sign to keep going.

He places his other hand on my cheek and I flinch a bit at how cold it is but lean into it a few seconds later, welcoming the fluttering feeling it stirs my my stomach. He leans down and rests his forehead against mine causing me to close my eyes, feeling like I'm burning under his intense gaze.

"What are you doing to me?" he whispers and all I can do is try not to whimper in response. He tilts my chin up and brings his face closer and rubs his nose up against mine making me feel breathless at the slightest sign of intimacy no matter how small and I find myself unconsciously wrapping my arms around his neck. He in turn leans in and closes the distance between us, kissing me softly but still coaxing a whimper out of me, missing the feeling off being wanted by him.

He moulds his lips against mine and brushes his tongue along my bottom lip and I open my mouth at the feeling, letting him use his tongue to explore my mouth, making butterflies fly in my stomach and leaving me moaning softly as I welcome him in.

I take my hands off of his shoulders and feel for his jacket and start to push it off of him which he obliges and I reach for his shirt and push it up to help him take it off and he parts from my lips only for a second to slip it over his head. I touch his bare skin and even though we were so wet and cold his skin has already started to heat up leaving me not being able to take my hands off of him.

My hands travel up and down his abs and pecks that have both gotten more defined since the last I had seen them and before I'm able to think about it any more he trails his hands down my hips and continues to trail them down and grabs the inside of my thighs before he breaks apart our lips again telling me to jump and I do immediately, kissing him as he walks us both back to the bedroom.

Once we get there he helps me out of my tank top and traces his hands along my bare back while pressing me closer into him our chest now flush against each other while it almost feels like he's trying to hold me even closer, not letting go and devouring my mouth until he trails his hands along my curves and fiddles with the button of my pants and waits for me to say something before actually taking them off.

Still kissing me I part for a second and utter a hurried 'yes' before he's unzipping them and taking everything off leaving me completely bare and I help him get out of the rest of his clothes right after.

We both fall onto the bed together and never stop kissing and I part my legs for him to lay between. He runs a finger along my slit making me whimper against his lips as he teases my clit and then circles it around my entrance and then slowly slips a finger in making me let out a restrained moan, being sensitive from not having been touched by him for so long.

"Shit" he says feeling how tight I am just from putting in one finger and working it in and out of me, coaxing me to stretch out for him. "Jungkook" I whimper when he adds another digit and he swears again at how much I'm clenching around them. "Relax baby" he whispers rubbing his thumb against my clit in circles to help me calm down and open up enough so he can slip another finger in.

"I haven't fucked you properly in a while huh?" he says between kisses, curling his fingers up inside of me making a breathy moan spill past my lips as I squeeze my eyes shut. "I don't know if this tiny cunt can even take me anymore. Do you think it can?" he asks rubbing his nose up against mine while he curls his fingers inside me again.

I nod my head but he's not satisfied, "Words Noona. Do you think this pretty little cunt can take me again?" he pushes and rubs his thumb around my clit again while thrusting his fingers inside of me. "Yes" I moan out and he luckily decides not to tease any longer.

"That's a good girl" he says before taking his fingers out of me and placing them in his mouth, savoring my taste before he leans down and kisses me again "Almost forgot how sweet you taste" he says and before I'm able to even think about responding he pushes the tip inside making me let out a breathy moan.

"Fuck I missed this" he says pushing in a bit more, giving me time to adjust before going in further. "Jungkook" I whimper, not being able to focus on anything but the sensation of feeling him bare and going deeper and deeper. "I know baby, I know" he says pushing in more while placing a kiss on my temple before bottoming out.

"Looks like this pretty cunt is greedy isn't she?" he says while rubbing my clit, helping me get used to him. He rests his forehead against mine and lets labored breaths in and out, relishing in the feeling of my walls clenching around him. I nod my head and he takes it as a sign to move and he pulls out half way before pushing all the way in, setting a more gentle, sensual pace that leaves my brain fogging up with thoughts of only him.

He pulls out all the way and presses back into me inch by inch, savoring how my walls are sucking him in. "Please, faster" I say, throwing my head back on the pillow, dying from the slow building feeling of my orgasm, wanting to be granted release sooner. "Patience Noona" he taunts and he presses back in but pulls out and gives me a shallow hard thrust leaving my back arching up into him.

He quickens his pace and starts kissing on my neck, leaving marks in his wake and soon thrusting into me harder while I let out restrained moans. "No Noona let me hear you, I wanna hear you scream my name" he growls and starts thrusting into me at an animalistic pace. "Fuck Jungkook" I moan, starting to get closer to my release.

"What is it pretty?" he says slowing down the pace, leaving me whining at the feeling of my high coming down again. "No" I say throwing my head back into the pillows, hating that he robbed me of it. "No what? I just gave you a chance to tell me what you wanted, I couldn't hear you over all of your moaning" and he punctuates his sentence with a sharp thrust earning him a choked moan coming out of me and feeling me squeeze around him.

"Does Noona wanna cum?" he taunts, giving me another sharp thrust. "Jungkook please" I beg, pulling him closer to kiss him but he stops before our lips touch. "I don't know what you want me to do unless you tell me" he says, lips brushing against mine but not close enough to kiss.

"I wanna cum, please" I breathe out and at that I see a mischievous glint flash in his eyes before he kisses me and pounds into me harder than he had before and swallowing all of my moans of pleasure.

"You close?" he questions after a while, already being able to feel the answer but making me say it nonetheless. "Shit y-yes so close k-keep going" I stutter, about to tip over the edge and seconds later it all comes crashing down, leaving me arching into him and dragging my nails along his back and he groans at the feeling and cums seconds after that, fucking us both through our highs.

Once he's emptied out he keeps on thrusting until I whine from over stimulation and kisses me while he pulls out, me hating the feeling of being empty again. He lays down on top of me for a second as we both catch our breaths but soon rolls off and lays next to me while we both take a second to slow down our breathing.

Without a word he sits up and walks over to my side and scoops me up in his arms. "What are you doing?" I ask throwing my arms around his neck. "You need to go to the bathroom and then we need to clean up he says, making decisions for what I need to do before giving me an option like always but I decide not to mention it this time, staying silent and waiting for him to put me down.

He sets me down on my feet and turns around to turn on the shower and walks out into the hallway to get us both towels, giving me a bit of privacy to do my business before coming back in. When he comes back he opens the shower door for me and lets me walk in, holding on to make sure I don't fall before coming in after me.

We both stand there in the shower getting warm under the water as the doors and mirrors get fogged up in turn.

Neither of us talks for a while until he puts some body wash in his hands and lathers it up before rubbing it onto my back and shoulders, talking his time to wash me from head to toe, cleaning and massaging all of me to make sure to loosen me up so I won't get sore.

He's does this every time we have sex, or had sex since it's been a while and I welcome it, hating and loving the feeling. Feeling guilty about letting him take care of me like this when all I've done is push him away.

As he finishes up he takes my shampoo and conditioner and washes my hair as well before rinsing everything off of me and switching places with me gently so he's in the direct stream of water so he can wash himself as well.

While he has his arms up and is scrubbing his scalp I wrap my arms around him from behind and rest my cheek against his back. "This was a mistake" I mumble and at that he freezes before hurrying to rinse the shampoo out of his hair so it doesn't get in either of our eyes.

"Is that how you truly feel?" he asks, sounding disheartened but knowing that something like this was going to happen if I still wanted to push him away. "Yeah. Well, I don't know" I say, being honest with honestly not knowing how I feel.

He turns around to face me and looks down while cupping my face in both of his hands. "Do you want me to leave?" he asks, his eyes going back and forth between mine searching my face for answers and finding the one that says I want him to leave and he utters an silent okay before I even have a chance to say anything.

He opens the shower door and closes it behind him, taking one of the towels and drying off his hair quickly before wrapping it around his waist and walking out of the bathroom. I let out a pained sigh and feel a rush of emotions flood my system with senses of doubt in all of my dealings with this.

'Do I want him to go? Do I want him to stay? Do I want to be with him? Do I want to break up?' those as well as many more are the questions that go round and round in my head without answers.

The thing that breaks me out of that circular train of thought though is the sound of the front door closing behind him as he walks out and the next is the sound of my sobs as I hit the floor, finally let my heart break.

Thursday / Saturday Series Masterlist

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