#some mimes even help work towards the living's goal

[creaturefeaster]

This may be a stupid question, and I’m sorry if you’ve answered it before, but why do the mimes do everything they do?

Not a stupid question at all. It's a pretty broad question, however, so it may have been answered in bits and pieces in the past throughout several other asks. So I suppose this is a chance to put it cohesively:

They are of a different realm. The physical realm is not their own, and though they have existed for eons, they have only lived life in the physical part of the universe for a tiny sliver of time. So more often than not, they have almost no clue what they're doing.

They've also just finished fighting a war, and are aware that fate is not on their side when it comes to sticking around in the physical realm, so they are very ready and willing to fight. Their kind as a whole goes a bit overboard though, as I'd argue they wipe out maybe a good 70% of the living people on the planet alone within a couple of days.

The mimes in the focal lense of the story-- the ones you see me draw and talk about-- are no exception to this behavior. Some of the first things they do when they arrive is kill. Out of curiosity, fear, adrenaline, or out of a feeling of necessesity. None really out of hate, though, and none with initial malicious intent (...perhaps debatable, depending on how you look at things ^^;)

Once the crazy phase is over, about two or three days after the Fault, a lot of the immediate hostile behavior slows down. Everyone's had a chance to get used to their new world, and has had the time to understand the meaning of what life is. Though they are against the main 15 living protagonists, they actually try to avoid outright killing them. The persuasions of fate fortune the protagonists, so it makes it a little more difficult to get rid of them anyways, but a lot of the mimes often opt to thwart the living's plans rather than continue the cycle of brutal hostility.

Some mimes are just more hostile in nature though, or some more chaotic, but some are just trying to enjoy their new life. Their motives and aspirations are all over the place. Almost all of them though just want to remain despite the destruction they've already caused. The living, of course, want their world back to the way it was, so they continue on. And so the mimes must as well.

#jarna is here to hunt for sport more often than not. #calamea just doesnt give a fuck and does whatever always #rede would be so much more violent if it wasnt for Chickenstab holding him back so often #but past those three none of the main mimes are here to be brutal #twiddle acts like he is but news flash he isnt. he just thrives off of making enemies #foxglove doesnt even wanna be here at all so shes just doing what she thinks she has to #brambleramble #tyv and uppsulka pretty early on actually go. yknow fuck all this mess. idk if we might disappear again one day. #we are living out in tha middle of nowhere now. leave us alone #(alas. they cannot escape the. Shenanigans) #some mimes even help work towards the living's goal #as they accept their fate- realise they'll both be doomed if it isn't done- and that their doomed fate would be worse than-- #--simply having their fate reverted.

[binniesthighs]

Hey! Can I request a minho smut where y/n and minho are boxing partners and theres that sort of tension at every practice you know? And the boys keep telling you he likes you but you dont listen and theres pining and then finally at that one practice he makes a move and that leads to ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I love your writing so much and I think you're absolutely great🥺

ANON I love the way that your brain works I’m losing my MIND over this one. oh my gosh and I’ve been dying to write some minho so this has given me the best excuse!!! also thank you so much lovely! It makes me feel all fuzzy inside knowing that ya like my writing! and you’re great was well anon ;) 

pinned | reader x minho |

Pairing: self insert, gender neutral reader x lee minho

Genre: fluff n’ smut

Tags: boxer!minho, boxer!reader, boxer au, pining!minho ahhhh, skz side characters, friends to lovers, growing feelings, minho is whipped for the reader, praising, sexual tension, oral (r & m receiving), marking, unprotected sex (stay safe loves!), soft shower sex

Word count: 4.2k

“Again! Minho, watch your footing, you’re tripping all over yourself.”

Seungmin threw a towel in the general direction of your sparring partner who nearly missed it flying at his head. Beads of sweat waterfalled down his forehead, and it got stuck in his scalp, turning his hair into strands.

“Getting tired?” You jested as Jeongin tightened up your gloves.

He smirked out a little, “Tired? I’m just getting started.”

“You’re losing your edge Lee Minho. I’ve knocked you down at least four times already.” Jeongin helped you by squirting water into your mouth. The cool drops felt heavenly falling down your neck.

“Distracted then?” Hyunjin whipped his disheveled blond hair into a hair tie. “Something on your mind?”

In one sweep, Minho ruffled up his own hair with the fabric of the towel “Distracted? No--”

“Listen Minho, I know that I’m not looking the most glamorous right now but you should get your head back in it, I’m barely breaking a sweat.” You shoved him a little with your gloved hand, handing out a teasing grin.

Your partner bounced a little in place, shaking out his limbs. “Alright...”

Any other day, it would have been Minho who had you stumbling down to the mat, breathless and muscles aching. It was always a mystery to you where he got his stamina from when he was in the ring with you. Outside of the ring, no one could have ever guessed that boxing was his pastime--the giveaway was his knuckles: they were nearly always bruised.

You had met Minho and the rest of your friends nearly a year ago when you joined the gym, just looking for something new to try. Seeing as you and Minho were nearly the same size, it made sense for the two of you to be partners. Even though he was quiet around you, he would always put up a fight. Beating him for once was exciting. When you were the one standing, it felt good, admittedly. The little rush to your head when his body hit the floor was too exciting to ignore. You could really get used to the way that he would stare back up at you, lip quivering just slightly and his abs seizing under his shirt. It was cute almost, you had thought, when you saw the way that his expression would soften underneath you.

Jeongin waved you over to strap your head gear back on with a tiny cringe. “As your friend, I’m gonna tell you that you stink...rather than not saying anything about it.”

Your gloved hand mimed a punch to his face. “Thanks for the info. I’m hitting the showers after this.”

The rest of your little group gathered near to the edge of the ring, towel drying themselves of their own sweat and shadow boxing the air around their fists.

“I’ve been watching from over there...damn Y/n…” Changbin sauntered up, throwing his jump rope over his shoulder. “You’re really improving.”

“I had a good teacher, handsome.” You clicked out a little salute to him.

“Ahhh, stop flattering me.”

“Let’s start.” Minho butted in while he popped in his mouth guard.

“Hands up!” Seungmin called.

The burning of your hamstrings had told you that you were nearing your limit for the day, but nothing felt better than chasing your victory over him once more. In his eyes, he held a darker kind of confidence this time: it clouded his eyes which narrowed. When he would focus, Minho seemed to inspect every single part of your body like he was planning exactly where he wanted to hit first. His eyes would dance around your frame for just a few seconds, then he would know your first move.

Want me to go easy on you this time? You jested under the plastic of your mouth guard.

His right fist hooked directly at you before you had registered it, colliding right with the foam of your headgear. He had hit you with such a force that it felt as if he had shook your eyes, blurring your vision.

“Hands!” Changbin growled from the sidelines, and you did as you were told.

In a couple ways, boxing was like dancing, except you were trying not to get all wrapped up in your partner’s arms. The goal was to prevent him from touching you, so your feet would bounce and skip around him in circles, never letting his steps dominate you. With every twist of your bodies, they would interact with the other, it was all give and take. Perhaps like dancing, the tension between you was tangible, but instead of harmony, there was a dissonance.

Minho swung at you to your right, and you bobbed your head in response. As you chased him back, the plastic blue under your feet would crinkle. Your hands never left the cover of your face only until the few milliseconds when you would make a swing of your own. Had he bopped a second too late, you would have given him proper payback for how hard he had punched at your face.

Seungmin barked out more combos for the two of you to battle in attempting first. It really was like the perfect dance: every time that one of you would swing, the other would float around it.

“Get a hit in! Quit playing with him!” Changbin chuckled from the sidelines.

“Minho! Come on!” Hyunjin spurred his friend on.

As he would, Minho’s curious eyes focused back down on you again, scattering around while he calculated out some kind of invisible equation as he inched you toward the edge of the ring.

“Slip! Slip!” Changbin grabbed onto the bouncing ropes of the ring and Minho hooked into your side.

You twirled your body out past him, letting his punches meet the side of the ring. Your motion had caught him off guard once you had escaped his attempt to pin you.

Now he was the one that was pinned.

In his excitement, Changbin bounced up and down, “JAB JAB!!”

Minho’s focus faded after you had squatted and carried out your swing to his side, and another to his arms covering his face.

“Your stance! Minho!” Seungmin gasped as Minho tripped himself to the ground.

The rest of the group leapt into the air, hollering into the echoey and concrete space.

Minho’s body hit the ground with a thud. His gloved hands became clumsy as he tried to brace himself, and his face was cleanly met with the blue mat.

Your victory was short lived once you saw the way that his eyes wrinkled upon his fall.

“You okay?”

“--Fine.” His words winced through his teeth. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

Jeongin bunny hopped into the ring to undress the velcro of your gloves and headgear.

“Don’t lie to me Minho, you can’t lie about these kinds of things.”

“I said that I’m fine.”

Your free hands helped him to his feet. “Have Chan look you over ‘kay? I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to hit that hard...”

Minho shook out his wetted hair once he was free of his headgear. “Stop apologizing. I’m gonna head to the showers.”

Without another word, he slipped under the ropes, hunched a little as he tossed his tape away.

Hyunjin handed you your water which you took thankful gulps of. “Do you think that he’s mad at me?”

“No. It’s not your fault.”

“My fault?”

Hyunjin shrugged with a little smirk. “He’s doing it to himself.”

“Doing what??”

“Boxing knock all the logic out of you? Are you seeing okay?” Hyunjin waved his hand in front of your eyes.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Ahhhh Y/n...silly little Y/n. How many times do I need to tell you?”

“No...this isn’t about that again is it?”

You guzzled down more water and were just a little tempted to flick some of it over on Hyunjin’s unrealistically gorgeous face. Anything but this again.

Changbin threw a white towel at you. “It’s honestly comical at this point.”

“Not you too.” You rolled your eyes.

“He’s literally fucking falling over himself for you and you still don’t see it.”

“I’m not seeing anything because there isn’t anything to see.”

“I can’t believe you.” Changbin and Hyunjin exchanged equally unimpressed eyerolls.

“You said it yourself ‘Bin, I’m getting better. All this practice and I can finally beat him. Why aren't you celebrating with me Mr. “I’m-The-Best-Boxing-Teacher-You-Will-Ever-Meet-Or-Know?” If, if he’s got a thing for me, why hasn’t he said anything?”

Changbin sighed out. “I don’t know, I don’t know how the hell he works. No one really does. He isn’t really the sharing type.”

“You ask him.” Hyunjin announced point blank. “If you’re so skeptical, ask him.”

An unwanted heat assaulted your cheeks. “I’m not--”

“--Oh my god, are you scared to ask? ~Mmm-how unlike you~” Hyunjin patted your head like you were a little dog. His eyes widened. “Are you saying that you feel--”

“--You know what! I’m going to hit the showers too. I’m a mess. Don’t hang around.”

“It never hurts to ask!” Hyunjin called after you, giggling a little in his own teasing way.

“There’s nothing to ask!”

((       ))

“Lock up when you’re done!” Chan’s voice rang through the empty hall of the gym, flicking off a couple lights behind him.

The green-white fluorescent lights above you buzzed with an insect-like ring and flickered every view seconds. Up high on the concrete walls, opened horizontal windows were cracked, letting in the humidity of the summer night, and carried in the sound of crickets singing their nighttime ode. The dark corners of the room seemed perilous compared to the single ring that was lit just for the two of you.

“Minho, I’m exhausted, how much longer do you plan on staying?” Your punch mitts fell to your sides.

“Just a little while longer. I’ve just felt...kinda out of it this week. I could use the extra practice.” His eyes shied, “I appreciate you staying after.”

“Let's just get this over with.” You raised your mitts in front of your face, holding your ground.

Minho huffed out a determined breath, then swung at them with all his might. The sound of the tight fabric patted through the room. His eyes didn’t meet yours for several minutes, his pure focus on each carry though of his arms sent little shock waves to your wrists. Time ticked past on the particularly loud clock nailed to the walls and caged in a little metal grid.

Rather than striking up a conversation like you would, Hyunjin’s voice taunted over and over in your mind like a curse.

“It never hurts to ask!”

Minho stepped back, catching his breath. “I think I’m good now.”

“Great!” You snapped your thoughts back to the moment. “I’m gonna wash off before I head out...you?”

“Probably. The water at my place as been fucking freezing lately, I swear that my landlord is a criminal.”

“Oh...sorry about that.”

“ ‘t’s fine. I’m talking with him tomorrow.”

“I’ll head in with you then…”

((       ))

Chan’s gym had a propensity for having facilities that were usually slightly off-- the automatic lights being one of them. If it wasn’t for more of the high-set windows, it would have been pitch black in the locker room, but the nearly full waxing moon filled the whole room with brilliant silver light. Among the metal of the lockers and the porcelain sinks, the room seemed to be bathed in a bluish tint.

“He’s really gotta get the lights fixed.” You said aloud, merely just trying to say anything to fill the quiet of the room.

“Add it to the list.” Minho breathed out a snicker. “That fourth sink hasn’t worked in weeks.”

“Really?”

The two of you had made some sort of unspoken rule being in the room together: backs turned, not daring to look at the other while you undressed, somehow it seemed like the respectful thing to do. The cold tiles met your bare feet, and your damp skin met the cool air. Suddenly the warmth of the shower sounded like the most enticing thing you could imagine.

Minho’s presence behind you intrigued you sneakily, thoughts pervaded your mind that you hadn’t expected.

Hyunjin had almost asked you if you had feelings for Minho. What would you have said?

You pulled your towel over your body, tucking it in place. “I...I wanted to apologize for the other day. I got too cocky. I shouldn’t have jabbed you that hard, and on your side. That wasn’t...fair of me.”

“I said before, drop it.”

You turned, and the sight of him nearly startled you. You had never totally imagined what he looked like under those white shirts that would cling to his sweating body, but it was nothing like this.

Minho’s back was magnificently sculpted and his shoulder blades curved and poked out from under his skin almost a bit like wings. The curve of his spine traced down his back in a perfect line, and it arched a little as he twisted his body around. Two little dimples peppered right above his waist. Close to his ribs, a little purple mark faded into the pale of his skin.

“I-is that…”

You advanced closer. In the blue light of the room, your eyes couldn’t make out what it was, but you suspicion twisted knots into your stomach.

Minho jumped a little seeing how close you had drawn to him after not hearing your silent footsteps.

“Is that...a bruise? Did I bruise you?”

Panic set in Minho’s eyes. “--No! No, that’s from a couple weeks or so ago, some stupid accident, I can’t really remember.”

“...Are you sure?”

“Positive.” He nodded.

“Well...if you’re lying, I’ll--”

“--What, punch me again like that?”

Minho’s smiling eyes crinkled up slightly and you felt yourself met lightly into them: his smile was something that you knew you had always found to be adorable. Seeing him like this brought memories of him on the mat, flat on his back, those same eyes looking up at you in his awe.

“Haha. Funny. No, I won’t hit you.”

“Good. That did hurt though.”

“...sorry.”

Water dripped from a sink somewhere, and Miho’s hand lingered on his locker door.

“I haven’t hurt you before...have I?”

“You?” In your confusion, your brows scrunched together. “Not that I can remember I think. I know that it looks really dramatic when I fall but--”

“--I don’t want to hurt you either, you know right?”

“It’s just boxing, Minho, it’s not too serious, I know that you’re not like, out to get me or whatever.”

Under the silver-blue moonlight, Minho’s pale skin seemed illuminated. “Hmm.” He sighed.

When he faced you, you could see his pronounced collarbones and the way that his arms stretched out the muscles underneath. Never would you have imagined him to look this breathtaking. You chalked it up to being tired, but creeping little thoughts wove around your brain, whispering tantalizing ideas.

Silently, you wondered what he would feel like under the touch of your fingers. Every single curve of his body you wanted to trace, just to see where they would lead. You hadn’t noticed, but Minho had watched you as your eyes journeyed over him, just as his eyes had done countless times to you before.

You held his eyes tentatively with Hyunjin’s words on your tongue. “Minho, can I ask--”

Minho’s answer was hastily given to you in the form of him clambering his lips into yours while he drew you into his bare chest; he was much warmer than had imagined. There was something frighteningly intimate about the both of you meeting in a tangle of skin and lips; the heat of his chest and yours mixing. He had kissed you so suddenly that you seemed to stumble over your own lips deciding if you wanted to kiss him back. While he was needy, the way in which he ran his lips over yours was more caring than fleeting and impulsive. He knew exactly what he was doing as he gave into the magnetism drawing him into you.

Your partner’s hands cascaded down your back, drawing little squiggles down your spine, causing your legs to buckle slightly. He flooded your mouth with his kisses, each one more searing than the last, each one desperate to tell you what his words couldn’t. At last, you let your shocked body return to him, kissing him back. The moment that you did so, he shuddered into you, clawing lightly at your back. The tiniest “oh” from his lips moaned into your mouth and he shifted to tangle his hands up close to your scalp, drawing you even nearer to him.

He murmured onto you,  “I can’t tell you how long I’ve had to hold myself back.”

It was the slick of his tongue running over your bottom lip that sent you spiraling for him. Just as you had wanted, you let your hands traverse all around his chest and his back, following the lines in his body as if they were a treasure trail to something that you could barely comprehend. Your touches on his skin turned his breaths into unsteady little whimpers that traipsed in between your mixing of lips and heated exhales.

“Mm-please...come with me?”

((       ))

Condensation had gathered heavily upon the deep green tiles of the shower wall while it too dissipated up into the air of the dimly lit bathroom. Swirls of the white wisps entangled around you and you breathed them heavily into your lungs. Under the warmth of the water, your body felt perfectly at ease: your aching muscles too revealed in the feeling that the heat brought, and Minho’s kneading hands worked at every knot in your body while he touched everywhere he could...as if he was starving for it. Handfuls of your skin filled up his greedy palms.

“You’re so beautiful. Everything about you...I’ve always wanted to tell you…” Minho kissed down your neck lapping at your nerves and disrupting the trailing of water down your body. “You-you make it so hard for me.”

“Hard to do what?”

“You’re irresistible.”

Minho’s words escaped from his lips like fresh honey while you were left to melt under them. After being so quiet around you, you felt yourself a fool to have ignored everything that was in front of you; and for being as stubborn as you were.

Further down your body, Minho let his hands fall down your own chest, ghosting his fingers over your nippes. The softest touches from his hands made your buds harden instantly, and your arousal pooled obviously within your sex. To steady yourself, you had thrown your arms over his shoulders and scratched at the combination of water and strings of muscles on his back.

“I-I should have listened, Minho...I’m-mm-so sorry.”

“That doesn’t matter anymore.” He broke for a moment to catch your gaze. “Can I show you? Can I show you how much you drive me absolutely crazy?”

Minho coupled his words with the scrape of his nails down your arms. Every touch that he gave you was needy and testing. You set yourself giddy a bit thinking of how he must have imagined this very moment countless times.

Your hot breath tickled the wet skin of his neck where you returned his kisses. “You can do whatever you want.”

With your permission, Minho’s body appeared to tighten. Where he had pinned you against the wall, his painfully hard member dripped out his eager pre-cum, and throbbed against your belly. Your mind ran free thinking of the ways that you would show him attention as well.

“Mm-tell me to stop and I will, okay?”

“Mmhmm.”

Minho let his kisses waterfall next to the flowing water down your skin farther and farther until he had hovered over your own sex which had grown painfully swollen waiting for his touch.

In the silver moonlight, Minho’s brown eyes glistened while he looked up at you, teasing you with his tongue, never granting you the full satisfaction. The corners of his mouth curled into a smile seeing how you reacted to his agonizingly slow lapping.

“~Y/n~” He sang, “You taste so good.”

“More…” You pathetically pleaded. “Stop-stop teasing me...Minho.”

He did as he was told, granting you more of his mouth, and sucking steadily and purposefully as you grinded into his mouth for even more. Minho reached behind you to grab out handfuls of your ass in his hands, lovingly kneading the skin at the same time. Water droplets had showered over his face, and strung together his eyelashes in a way that you could have sworn made them look as if they sparkled.

Before your orgasm hit, you demanded of him, “Come up here.” The way that his dick had twitched while he had sucked on you was becoming too hard for you to ignore.

With your finger tracing along his jaw, you kissed into his mouth, “My turn.”

The tiles were a bit hard on your knees, but after you had swung his beautifully thick thigh over your shoulder, nothing mattered as you had found your perfect angle.

You have him sloppy kisses all along his length and bit into his thighs, indulging in him, pulling at the skin where he was much more sensitive than you had expected. While it was contradictory, you gave him as many hickies as you could on the skin of his milky inner thighs. The purple love bites were gorgeous on his shaking legs.

“oh god.” He moaned out.

Your tongue teased him for a little while longer, then his hands told you what they wanted you to do. He had braided his fingers deep into your strands, and pulled your lips up to meet with his tip.

“God, I want you so bad, please, y/n.”

Just as how you had felt when he was at your mercy on the mat, he was all yours now: yours to take apart, yours to put back together.

“Needy baby.” You cooed into his leaking slit. “That bad?”

“Are you going to make me beg more?”

“Maybe I like it?” Your wrist jerked at him at last.

“Please give me your mouth, I can’t wait any longer.”

“Cute.”

Upon fully taking him in, Minho gasped out so sharply and loudly, it even surprised you. Never had someone been so needy for you, it was intoxicating. You took him in gradually deeper and deeper, pushing down your throat. All around you, the showering water coated you in an ocean of comfort; it trailed down your hair and fell down the sides of your face and your arms, no place was untouched.

Minho’s pruned fingers dug into your shoulders, “get up--fuck--”

At first, his fingers entered you, teasing your hole. Your stringy slick mixed with the water clinging to his fingers. The orgasm that he had once started within you pooled heavily and tightened at your core.

“Show me Minho, give it to me.”

He instructed you by picking you up into his arms, then pinned you against the tiled walls, back flat against the cool stone. His fingers dug into your ass, aligning you over his dick. It took all of your strength to wrap your arms and legs around him, but he held you back with ease.

“I-I’m not too heavy?”

“No. Not at all, you’re perfect for me. All of you.”

Together, you shivered at the feeling of connection once he had entered you, instinctually finding each other's lips between the water.

Minho’s thrusts started out slow and careful, planned almost. He was intentional in the way he reached as deep inside you as he could and listened to every response of your body.

“Mm...keep going,” you panted, “like that. ‘Feels so, so good.”

Time faded into non-existence this way with Minho dragging his hips in and out of you with a tantalizing speed. More than anything, it was the closeness that you felt taking him in so wholly, feeling every inch of his length. Each time that he grazed you deep, you sunk deeper into him, becoming weaker and weaker in his arms.  

“I’m so close. Can I cum?” Minho’s brown glistening eyes pleaded to you.

You nodded eagerly, and it was if a switch had flipped inside him. All at once, he shoved your body harder into the wall, screwing you into it. His arms flexed where he held you, and his chest flushed red as he neared his release. When he did, his face was near euphoric as he milked himself completely into you, reaching one hand down to give your sex more attention, using his thumb to apply pressure.

When you reached your release, you could only helplessly convulse in his arms, thighs quivering against his hips.

Minho cradled you as you came down, smoothing the top of your head, then eventually helping you stand on your own. “You okay?” He took both sides of your face gently in his palms. “By the way, what is that you were gonna ask me earlier? Sorry…”He bashfully grinned at you. “I had other things on my mind.”

You took his face in your hands too, firstly brushing over the little mole on his nose, then delighting in the soft hairs of his cheeks.

“It’s okay. I got my answer.”

#hollly molly #soft and kinda subby minho HITS DIFFERENT #fluffy smut like this ahhh #OH! and I forgot to say hell yes minhos thighssss #stray kids #skz #stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids imagines #stray kids drabbles #stray kids oneshots #lee minho #lee minho smut #minho smut #lee minho x reader #minho x reader #minho x y/n #asks #self insert #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic

[nicknellie]

@chickwiththepurpleguitar requested: flarrie hurt/comfort something? Maybe Carrie’s losing her voice and needs to perform soon so she can’t talk to Flynn so they just communicate with notes and pointed looks but Flynn knows what she means cause they know each other so well?

This is so cute and I love it so much. They would 100% be able to read each other’s expressions like an open book. I had a lot of fun writing this, thank you so much for suggesting it! I think I might have aged them up a bit because I gave Flynn a car without really thinking, but honestly I don’t know how that works in America so it might be completely plausible. Anyway! I hope you like it!

I Can Wait

“What did the doctor say?” Flynn asked the moment Carrie opened the car door and plonked herself in the passenger seat. She was rewarded with a glare like a laser beam paired with an absolutely furious pout. Clearly it wasn’t good news and Carrie was none too happy about it. “Is it serious?”

Carrie shook her head and sighed quietly. Instinctively, Flynn reached across and took Carrie’s hand between her own. She watched as Carrie defeatedly tipped her head back and closed her eyes, obviously frustrated, and then she pulled her hand from Flynn’s grasp and dug around in her handbag for her phone. She quickly pulled up the notes app, tapped out a message, and brandished her phone in Flynn’s face.

Doctor says I need to rest my voice for two days.

Flynn frowned. She could already tell that this wasn’t going to be a fun two days for Carrie – she relied so heavily on her voice, whether that was for singing, bossing people about (though she would never admit that’s what she so often used her voice for), or just quiet calm conversation that was usually reserved for Flynn’s ears only. Carrie needed her voice and as far as she would be concerned she’d had her best tool and weapon snatched away from her.

“Poor thing,” Flynn said, stroking Carrie’s hair. She watched as Carrie breathed contentedly, soothed just that little bit. “Did they say what made you lose your voice?”

Carrie typed out another message: Using it too much, which is stupid.

Ah. Flynn should have been able to guess that. For the past two months, Carrie had been working herself to the bone for the biggest show of her life so far, a performance with her band set to take place in front of at least two dozen record execs and managers for an incredibly exclusive crowd. Along with the other devoted members of Dirty Candi, Carrie had been rehearsing almost non-stop – when she wasn’t singing she was composing, when she wasn’t composing she was dancing, when she wasn’t dancing she was working on costumes, when she wasn’t working on costumes she was getting some sleep with the one or two spare hours in her day. She had thrown herself headfirst into her work and was still yet to resurface.

That was the thing about Carrie, something Flynn loved dearly. She never did things in halves. If Carrie wanted something she would seize it with both hands, she’d drive herself harder and faster than any sane person was willing to just to reach her goals. Sometimes it paid off; other times she sang so much that she ran her voice dry.

“So that’s it?” Flynn asked. “You can’t say a word for the next two days?”

Carrie shrugged defeatedly. In that small gesture, Flynn saw how truly crushed Carrie was feeling. Maybe two days wasn’t really that long, but in Carrie’s mind it was two days being unable to work on songs at all, not to mention she would be unable to direct Dirty Candi’s choreography with anything resembling ease if she couldn’t speak to them. In her mind, it would be two days closer to her show and two days completely wasted.

“Hey,” Flynn said, finding Carrie’s hand again. “We’re not going to let this get in the way of anything, okay? You’re still you – you’re the most capable person I’ve ever met. If anyone is going to find a way around this it’s you. Okay?”

After a moment, Carrie met Flynn’s eyes and offered her a small smile. She leaned forward and pressed a gentle, chaste kiss to Flynn’s lips before impatiently tapping the steering wheel which Flynn took to mean ‘let’s get out of here’.

Flynn knew that getting Carrie to rest completely would be impossible – she suggested it as they drove back to Carrie’s house, but Carrie sat there with her arms crossed, pouting petulantly and shaking her head until Flynn had to accept that she wasn’t going to take any more steps back than she needed to. So when they arrived back at Carrie’s place, Flynn followed Carrie through to the home studio where Carrie immediately went into the back room and started working on costumes.

It would have been easy for Carrie to get somebody else to work on Dirty Candi’s costumes – after all, she had more than enough money to hire a professional to make most of them, and if worse came to worst she could have just bought them from anywhere. But Carrie liked doing things independently so almost all of the band’s outfits were handcrafted by her (though Julie always helped when she had the time). It broke Flynn’s heart a little to watch Carrie at the sewing machine, threading bright pink fabric through it, launching herself back into preparation when she really should have been taking a moment or two to unwind.

“Do you want anything?” Flynn offered.

Carrie looked up from her work briefly and raised an eyebrow – ‘like what?’

“Water?” she suggested. “Or tea? How about honey and lemon, that’s meant to be good for sore throats, right?”

Carrie gave a quick smile, which Flynn interpreted as ‘yes please’, and not a moment later her head was back down and she was working again. Flynn hurried out of the studio to the Wilsons’ kitchen and busied herself preparing the drink. She mixed the honey and the lemon juice in with the hot water and brought it back to Carrie – she was rewarded with a bright smile and a brief hug before Carrie, unsurprisingly, got back to work.

For a while, they simply sat together in silence. Flynn texted Julie to fill her in on the diagnosis and how Carrie was doing while Carrie got on with bits and pieces she needed to do. In a way, Flynn thought, this would be good for Carrie. She was always complaining about the little jobs she never had time to get done, but now she couldn’t do much else she would be able to get on with them.

Flynn was just considering heading home and leaving Carrie to it when she was unceremoniously hit in the face with a paper aeroplane. She blinked in surprise and then looked at Carrie who was smiling innocently.

“What happened to just asking when you want attention?” she said, rolling her eyes.

Carrie just raised a judgemental eyebrow – ‘seriously?’

“Oh, yeah, that. What is it, then?”

Carrie mimed opening the paper aeroplane she’d thrown, so Flynn did. There was a message inside, scrawled in Carrie’s loopy handwriting.

I have a meeting with a manager later but it’s over the phone.

Flynn scrunched the paper up into a ball and threw it back at Carrie who caught it easily. “You’ll have to cancel,” she said apologetically. “You’re not breaking the doctor’s orders for this.”

At that, Carrie batted her eyelashes and smiled hopefully, and Flynn immediately understood what she was getting at.

“You want me to do the meeting for you,” she said disbelievingly. “I have no idea what I’m talking about! I’m not even in Dirty Candi!”

Carrie picked up a pen and grabbed another sheet of paper, hastily scribbling down another note and chucking it in Flynn’s direction. It hit the floor a metre or so away from her and Flynn kicked it towards herself, which probably took longer than if she had just stood up and collected it.

Put it on speaker phone and I’ll write down everything you need to say, it’ll be fine. Plus you’re our marketing team, you know how to make us sound good.

It was true. With Flynn’s help, Dirty Candi (and Julie and the Phantoms) had grown in popularity enormously with a fanbase well into the thousands even though they’d hardly played any live venues that weren’t spirit rallies or open mic nights.

“You’re sure?” she checked, and Carrie nodded. “Fine. When’s the meeting?”

Carrie held up five fingers.

“Five hours?” Flynn said.

She shook her head.

“Five days?” she tried. “That’s plenty of time, you’ll be able to talk by then.”

But Carrie just shook her head again.

Flynn sighed. “It’s five minutes, isn’t it? You’ve given me literally five minutes warning.”

Carrie smiled smugly – ‘now you can’t back out even if you wanted to’.

The meeting went surprisingly smoothly. Flynn blagged an awkward explanation as to why she was on the phone instead of Carrie and the manager didn’t seem to mind. There were a few awkward pauses when Carrie was taking a while to write down her response, or when Flynn was struggling to decode her unnecessarily ornate handwriting, but they got there in the end. When they put the phone down Carrie was smiling, so Flynn took that to mean she thought the meeting had gone well.

It was only then that she checked the time and realised how late it was getting.

“I should probably head home,” she said reluctantly.

She and Carrie had moved to the living room and sat themselves down on the couch, but instead of getting up and leaving Flynn laid back and rested her head on Carrie’s shoulder, getting more comfortable. She felt Carrie wrap her arms around her waist and press a feather-light kiss to her cheek. It made her heart flutter – it was good to know that Carrie didn’t need her voice to make Flynn lose her mind. In fact, this quiet solitude, no sound between them but gentle breathing, was more than enough to make Flynn’s heart beat too fast.

Flynn didn’t know how long they’d been sat there together when she heard Carrie sniffle. She had tried to cover it up and muffle it, which had made it more obvious if anything. She turned her head awkwardly in time to see Carrie turn away and sniff again. Though it was dark and neither of them had bothered to turn a light on, Flynn didn’t miss the way a single tear rolled down Carrie’s cheek.

“Hey,” she said, wriggling until she was sat in front of Carrie, cross-legged, holding her hand. “Care Bear. Come here.”

Carrie didn’t need telling twice. She practically fell into Flynn’s arms, crying quietly, her tears soaking through Flynn’s jumper. Flynn gently ran her fingers through the ends of Carrie’s hair and down her back, holding her close to calm her down.

In truth, she had been half expecting this since they got back from the doctor’s, it had just been a matter of time until it actually happened. Carrie worked not only to improve herself and get further than everyone else, but to distract herself and make herself feel like she was making progress. Flynn knew her well enough to have guessed that when she immediately set about continuing prep for her show it meant she was trying to make herself feel useful, like she could avoid the elephant in the room and actually do something.

It was just to hide how low and wasteful she was really feeling.

“I know this isn’t ideal,” Flynn whispered softly once Carrie had calmed down a notch. “I know you want to be able to carry on like normal, but you’ve got to see that you’re working yourself too hard. It might feel like a setback, but you’ve been working at this for months – you’re more than ready. These two days won’t change anything. Surely you can see that?”

Carrie just exhaled, somewhere between a sob and a sigh. To Flynn that meant ‘no’.

“Well, I’m right,” she said. “You’ve done one day, you can do another. Then you can ease yourself back into rehearsals and I promise you’ll smash it when the actual show comes. You still have two weeks left, that’s plenty of time.” She squeezed Carrie that little bit tighter. “You’ll be amazing.”

Carrie didn’t say anything, for obvious reasons. She didn’t respond at all – didn’t get her phone out and type out a message, didn’t even meet Flynn’s eye to say something in that silent language only they would understand. She just held onto Flynn like it was all she could do. So Flynn held on in return, telling her she wasn’t alone and she never would be, not if Flynn had anything to say about it.

The next thing Flynn knew, it was morning. The sun was streaming in through the living room’s enormous glass windows and she was still lying on the sofa, having just woken up, blinking sleep out of her eyes. She stretched and felt her joints crack satisfyingly, then shook her head to wake herself up.

Carrie was already awake, changed out of yesterday’s clothes (something Flynn hadn’t done since she hadn’t intended to stay the night – she would have to steal something of Carrie’s, which always made her feel a little giddy) and sat on the sofa next to Flynn, pen in hand, writing something.

“Good morning,” Flynn yawned. She laid her head on Carrie’s lap; Carrie sighed, inconvenienced, but didn’t move her away, instead reorganising herself to accommodate her girlfriend. “Did you sleep okay?”

Carrie nodded and gave Flynn a pointed look – ‘yeah, how about you?’

Flynn waved a dismissive hand. “You know me. I can sleep anywhere. What are you writing?”

In reply, Carrie picked up another bit of paper, scrawled a lengthy message, and handed it to Flynn before getting back to her work at hand.

I was thinking about what you said last night and I hate to admit it but you were right. I’m trying to write another song, but not to perform at the show. Maybe for another performance or not at all. I’m doing what you said, taking a step back for a bit.

Flynn smiled up at her, unsurprised to see that Carrie was blushing and avoiding eye contact. That message was about as close as Carrie ever came to pouring her heart out; admitting that she was wrong and Flynn was right was always a frustrating thing for her to do, but it was one of the purest ways that Carrie showed her love.

“What’s the song about?” Flynn asked, lifting her head up and trying to read to words at the incredibly awkward angle but to no avail.

If possible, Carrie blushed even deeper. In response, all she did was tap Flynn’s forehead twice with the end of her pen (which was garishly decorated with bright pink feathers and very tickly) and got back to writing.

Flynn felt her own face light up. “It’s about me?”

A tiny smile tugged at the corners of Carrie’s mouth and she nodded. Flynn shoved herself into a sitting position and tried to read over Carrie’s shoulder, but Carrie hugged the paper to her chest, scowling as she hid the words from view.

“Oh, come on,” Flynn whined. “I want to read it!”

Carrie just shook her head emphatically. Flynn assumed it meant ‘not yet’.

“When can I read it? Or hear it?”

Carrie scribbled down another note: Not until after the big performance, and even then it’s only if that goes as well as you think it will. Otherwise I’m shredding this song and you’ll never hear it.

Flynn laughed and rested her head in Carrie’s lap again. A moment later she could hear the scratch of Carrie’s pen against the paper again. “Okay. I can wait that long.”

*

Taglist (if you want to be added or removed just let me know): @ace-bookworm @williexmercer @willex-owns-my-heart @itstiger720 @the-reckless-and-the-brave @that-one-newsie @bluedarkness @lookingthroughmirrors @teammightypen @salty-star @julieandthequeers @lmaohuh @sunnysbright 

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp fic #fanfiction #flarrie #flarrie fic #flynn x carrie #carrie x flynn #carrie wilson #flynn jatp #request #established relationship #sick fic #<< kinda? #hurt/comfort #emotional hurt/comfort #wlw ship #my writing #dirty candi #dirty candy #carrie jatp #flynn and carrie #carrie and flynn #fluff and angst

[goldenraeofsun]

Rememer Me, Honeybee

Part II

Read Part I here!

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” Dean howls. “That’s  what broke the curse?”

Cas, to his credit, looks just as confused as Dean wishes he were. “A kiss?” he asks, touching his lips distractedly.

Dean throws his hands in the air. “I thought it was some stupid angel magic. But  no  - Gabriel has a sick sense of humor.”

“Why?” Cas asks, adding before Dean can answer, “I know he does, in general. But why with this time?”

“Because,” Dean sneers, poking Cas, hard, in the chest, “he tied your soap opera amnesia to the oldest story in the goddamned book.”

According to Cas’s face, that doesn’t clear up anything at all. He protests, “But I looked at nearly all the curse books in Heaven’s-”

“Not in the angel books, numbnuts,” Dean cuts him off, “the human ones. If I ever meet Gabriel, I’m going to punch him in the goddamn fa-”

“You’d break your whole arm.” 

“-saddling  you  with a human cure,” Dean continues heatedly, “You, the one angel who doesn’t know the difference between Tickle Me Elmo and St. Elmo’s Fire.”

Cas frowns. “I didn’t know humans had a history of solving magical curses.”

“Fairy tale humans only,” Dean says sourly as he strides away from Cas, towards the other end of the porch because he can’t stand in one place right now. “Wake up Sleeping Beauty with true love’s kiss.” He ticks up one finger. “Turn the frog into a prince with true love’s kiss. Bring Snow White back to life with true love’s kiss.” 

“True love?” Cas’s voice echoes behind him.

Dean whirls around. “Wait-”

“You love me?”

Dean scowls fiercely. “Hold on there, cowboy,” he says, marching back and right into Cas’s space. “I never said that.”

“But...” Cas peters off, his blue eyes narrowing as they rake over Dean’s face, “to break the curse, you said it requires true love.”

Dean crosses his arms over his chest. “And all the signs tell me Gabriel’s a crafty son of a bitch. Did you kiss anyone else? Since you got whammied?”

Cas actually recoils in disgust. “Of course not.”

“There you go!” Dean says, gesturing emphatically. “It could’ve been any old kiss that did it for you.”

Cas frowns, and Dean knows what he’s about to say before he opens his mouth. Sure enough: “In these fairy tales, does it work if one party is love but the other isn’t?”

Dean grits his teeth. If he ever runs into this Gabriel, he’s a dead man - angel -  dead angelman. “No, but there’s a first time for everything.” He stomps past Cas. “I’m gonna get a drink.”

Cas is quick to follow on his heels, and Dean can practically feel the frown Cas is directing at the back of his head. But, since he  is  Dean’s best friend, he waits until Dean’s fetched a beer out of the fridge (Dean’s favorite brand because Cas doesn’t drink, so he only keeps one kind). Dean, as usual, offers one to Cas in a silent offer, and Cas shakes his head. Dean shuts the fridge door, waiting with bated breath and a stomach twisting in knots.

Finally, Cas says, “If that’s the case, I’m sorry for kissing you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dean grunts as he twists off the cap and takes a long pull.

Cas bites his lip. “I didn’t know our history. If I had, I obviously wouldn’t have-”

“Forget it.”

Cas runs a weary hand down his face. “I’m afraid I can’t.”

Dean’s mouth goes dry. He tips more beer back, and it does nothing to help. 

Behind him, Cas’s wings flare ever so slightly, drawing Dean’s gaze. “I don’t want this to be a point of contention between us,” he says, a hint of steel in his words.

“That’s what the whole  forgetting it  is for.”

Cas leans against the doorframe of the kitchen, his arms folding across his chest. “This can’t be something you bring up when you’re drinking,” his face darkens, “or joking.”

Dean mimes crossing his heart.

Cas’s scowl deepens. “Like that.”

“Hey!”

Feathers ruffling, Cas says stiffly, “That’s why I want to talk about it.”

Dean scowls down at the rim of his bottle. “What’s there to talk about?” He blanches. “It wasn’t your first kiss, was it?”

Cas rolls his eyes. “Of course not.”

“Then what’s got your panties in a twist?” Dean demands, eyebrows rising. “It’s not like I popped your cherry.”

Cas pinches the bridge of his nose. “Regardless, whether it was my first kiss or not, it meant something to me. And having you… belittle it because it makes you uncomfortable is not something I’d like to witness.”

Dean carefully sets his half-empty bottle down on the counter. “It meant something to you?”

Cas’s face darkens. “I kissed you, Dean,” he says shortly, “Not the other way around.”

“Yeah, but you were all,” Dean mimes a bright flash of light, “neuralyzed.”

“You were kind to me,” Cas says, his voice incredulous. “You visited me, fed me, tried to help me.”

“’Cause you had goddamn  amnesia.”

“And how is any of that any different than how you treat me normally?” Cas asks, exasperated.

Dean goggles at him. “But-”

“I understand,” Cas says in a horribly patient voice, “that Gabriel might have bent the rules for this particular curse. We aren’t in love, so he picked the next best thing.”

“Best friends?” Dean tries weakly.

Cas’s wings shift, agitated, behind his back, his face turning stony. “The last time Gabriel was here, I suspect I mentioned you one too many times.” He walks over to the kitchen table and starts stacking the semi-organized chaos of beekeeping books. 

“So?” Dean shrugs, “I’m adorable.”

“He said I was getting unbearable and I needed a divine intervention to get a ‘fucking move on,’” Cas says flatly to the cover of  The How-To-Do-It Book of Beekeeping. He sets it on top of the pile. “I assume he thought a kiss would put an end to my feelings for you, but I don’t think he was right.”

Dean’s mouth falls open.

Cas hefts the largest stack of books in his arms and turns to go.

Dean hurries after him. “Hey!” he huffs, more out of breath from shock than anything else. First, Cas didn’t remember him. Then, Cas kissed him.  Then,  Cas got his memory back. And Cas apparently loves him?

“Not now, Dean,” Cas says as he marches out of the kitchen, Dean hot on his heels. “You said you didn’t want to talk about it. I said my piece, so now we can start not talking about it.”

Dean growls, “Put down the damn books, Cas.”

“No,” Cas says without looking at him. Standing before the giant bookshelf in the living room, he mutters, “this is such a mess. I don’t know what I was think-”

“Put down the damn books so I can kiss you for real,” Dean says loudly.

Cas’s head whips around to stare at him, his blue eyes wide and full of disbelief. “Excuse me?”

Dean takes the books from Cas, grunting as he sets them down on the floor. “Why did you tell a goddamn archangel before me?”

“I didn’t tell Gabriel anything,” Cas protests. “He inferred. Based on…” he gestures to himself hopelessly, “everything about me.” 

Dean presses his lips together. “I didn’t see it.”

Cas face turns wary. “Yes, that was the goal.”

“You can be such a dumbass,” Dean whispers, stepping closer.

“So it’s been said before,” Cas says, his breath coming a little quicker as Dean gets right up into his personal space. “So  you’ve  told me before.”

“You were trying to sell a three-hundred dollar, four-foot-tall bee sculpture to a bunch of stupid hicks who couldn’t see something beautiful when it was literally sitting in front of them,” Dean says, rolling his eyes.

“And yet, you bought it anyway,” Cas hums.

“I never said  I  wasn’t a dumbass.”

Cas laughs lightly, and Dean grins in return.

“This is like a whole new level of dumbass, though, even for you,” Dean says as he lays a tentative hand on Cas’s waist.

“I think you mean even for  us,” Cas corrects.

Dean makes a face. Cas is right, but there’s no fucking way in hell Dean’s going to give him the satisfaction. 

He kisses him instead.

As their mouths meet again, Cas makes the noise of a starving man at a banquet. Hungry, greedy fingers grip Dean with angel strength, bringing their bodies flush together. 

Dean reaches around, to  finally  tangle his fingers in the base of Cas’s wings. Cas startles, but he doesn’t break the kiss, so Dean keeps going. He buries his fingers deeper, revelling in the silken slip of feathers past his fingertips.

“Like that?” Dean murmurs as he dips his head to kiss at the smooth area of skin behind Cas’s ear. He scratches lightly, and Cas shudders, feathers rippling deliciously. “Whaddya say to gettin’ horizontal?” he asks, waggling his eyebrows and jerking his head in the direction of the couch in the far corner of the room.

“Dean, I won’t fit on the sofa,” Cas says frankly.

Dean pulls back slightly, grimacing. “Your dick can’t be that big.”

Cas unfolds his wings. Fully extended, his wingspan stretches nearly six feet on either side.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean breathes, his mouth going dry. “I - I see what you mean.”

Cas snorts. As Dean doesn’t do anything but stare, Cas adds pointedly, “My nest is big enough, however.”

“Huh?” Dean blinks. “Right, right!” He claps his hands. “Bedroom.”

Chuckling, Cas follows him out the living room and up the stairs. Dean would never call himself a patient man, so he barely has one foot in the door before the top two buttons of his flannel get undone. He makes quick work of the rest, watching out of the corner of his eye as Cas does the same and reaches behind himself to flick open the clasps keeping the back flaps of his shirt closed.

“Now we’re talking,” Dean murmurs as he lays both hands on Cas’s gloriously bare torso. Cas has an Enochian tattoo on his left side, just below his ribs, which Dean is definitely going to ask about later, but right now he has to lick every square inch of Cas’s skin.

When he finally lifts his eyes, all his blood rushes south at the look on Cas’s face. Blue irises swallowed by black pupils. Lips spit-slick from Dean’s kisses. Hair fucked six ways to Sunday.

Dean tugs him closer so he can unzip Cas’s fly himself. “You good?” he asks hoarsely as Cas pushes him gently into the nest of blankets and oddly shaped pillows to pull off Dean’s jeans.

“I’m better than I’ve been in a vast number of years,” Cas says, his eyes dark. He crawls over Dean, his wings flaring up to bracket them in a canopy of feathers.

Dean stares up at them. Swallowing, he reaches up to trace one long flight feather.

“Do you like my wings?” Cas asks, amused.

“Uh, yeah,” Dean stumbles, and Cas seems to read all the rest of what Dean can’t bring himself to say because he captures Dean’s mouth in a fierce kiss. 

Dean’s hands gravitate like magnets to Cas’s back. He cards his fingers through the feathers, grinning against Cas’s mouth as Cas gives a full-body shiver. Cas goes lax on top of him, letting Dean take more of his weight.

“Like that?” Dean murmurs in his ear as he shimmies underneath Cas so his mouth is positioned right by his ear and his wandering hands can reach more of Cas’s wings.

“I do,” Cas rumbles above him, his breathing harsh as Dean tugs on a few feathers experimentally. He bucks his hips as Dean gives a particularly hard pull, pressing his hard cock against Dean’s pelvis.

“Christ,” Dean says in a strangled voice. “Okay, big guy, I get it.”

“Get wha -  Dean!”

Dean chuckles as he pulls his hand back from the small bump hidden just inside the crack of Cas’s ass. He’s not dripping yet, but he is wet, and Dean has watched too many wing kink videos to fuck this up. He rubs his index finger against his thumb, testing the slide. Slippery. Nice.

“Dean,” Cas growls, “What are you doing?”

“Uh,” Dean falters as he catches sight of Cas’s guarded face, “Oil? For lube?”

So maybe porn didn’t exactly prepare Dean for sex with a real live angel.

Cas pushes himself off Dean. “You know about that?” 

Luckily Dean’s too keyed up with panic to laugh. “Yeah,” he says, his words coming a little too quickly, “I know about the oil glands. Was I not supposed to? It’s not, like, a secret.”

Cas’ wings droop behind him. His expression serious, he asks, “Have you slept with another angel before?”

Dean does laugh. “Fuck no,” he says. Before Cas’s wings can sag any lower, he adds, “but I watch porn.”

Cas blinks. “Porn with angels?”

Reddening, Dean mutters, “Angel on angel, angel on human, I’m not picky.”

“Oh,” Cas says, and Dean has no idea what to make of that. But Cas isn’t done. “If you just wanted to sleep with an angel, I don’t know if I’m the best candidate. I’m not a virgin, but I don’t have a lot of-”

“Woah,” Dean says as his brain scrambles to make sense of the crap coming out of Cas’s mouth. “That’s not why I want to sleep with you.”

Cas’s brow furrows. “It’s not?”

“Come on,” Dean says impatiently, “I don’t hang out with any other angels but you.”

“Yes, because they’re ‘dicks,’” Cas says, trying and failing to mimic the way Dean says the word.

Dean’s eyebrows raise. “And you were such a standup, easygoing dude when we first met?”

“I complained that you weren’t complying with the rules of the Farmers Market,” Cas says cautiously, watching Dean’s reaction, “and got you banned for one weekend.”

“Yeah you did.” Dean chuckles. “But once I told you  why, you listened. You didn’t complain again - unlike Malachi.”

“You tried to bribe me with pie.”

Dean smirks. “You say that like it’s a crime.”

“Just because it works on you,” Cas deadpans, “doesn’t mean it’s a valuable negotiation strategy.”

Dean laughs. “Sure it does. You let me in today ‘cause I brought pie.”

Cas tilts his head. “I let you in because you seemed to know me, and you’re very attractive.” Over Dean’s very attractive, open-mouthed gaping, Cas continues placidly, “When we spoke, I found you were a loving, caring soul - like I have always known.”

Face heating uncomfortably, Dean starts, “That’s what I’m talking about. You’re different, Cas.” He reaches out to touch the back of Cas’s hand. “No other angel would’ve given me the time of day.”

Cas frowns. “You’re welcome?”

Dean sighs, and, he has to fucking say it because Cas is a dumbass who needs everything spelled out for him. “Look,” he starts, “When you said the love thing only applied to one of us,” he waits for Cas to nod his understanding because Dean’s sure as shit not saying this again , “I thought you were talking about me.”

“I don’t understand,” Cas says, and he’s such a fucking liar, based on the way his eyes widen and wings puff up, all pleased and shit. Dean would kick him if it wouldn’t break his foot. 

“Out of all the other angels out there,” Dean says through gritted teeth, “I’d rather have you. Cursed or not.”

“Oh.” A brilliant smile comes over Cas’s face.

“Yeah,  oh,”  Dean mocks as he reaches for Cas. “We good?”

“We’re good,” Cas says as he leans forward for a kiss.

“Hey,” Dean says, breaking apart, “What do you say to a little grooming foreplay?”

Cas swallows. “What does that mean?”

“It means you’d lie face down in the nest while I groom your wings - for real this time - and get myself all slicked up for you.”

In a flurry of limbs, Cas faceplants into the nest, nearly braining Dean with a stray wing.

Chuckling, Dean maneuvers over Cas so he’s straddling one thigh, giving him ample room to work with. At the first touch to Cas’s oil gland, his feathers rustle. “I’m going to start slow,” Dean says soothingly.

He bends down to press a kiss at the tender patch of skin between Cas’s wings. Cas’s wings fidget, and for the first time (and hopefully not the last) Dean gets to feel feathers brushing against his cheeks, smell Cas absolutely everywhere, and breathe him in deep. Dean’s so fucking gone on this angel, and they haven’t even gotten to the fucking yet. Jesus Christ.

Biting his lip, Dean rubs Cas’s oil gland, getting his fingers nice and slick. “Relax,” he murmurs as he repeats the process with his other hand. Gently, he cards his fingers through Cas’s feathers, starting at the base of his wings. 

Cas lets out a little sigh and wiggles in place, burrowing further into his nest.

“That’s it,” Dean says in a low voice as he keeps preening.

“You’re very good at this,” Cas rumbles as Dean rubs more oil between his feathers. 

“I’ve watched a lot of videos,” Dean says dismissively, working along the muscle where the feathers more or less lay flat, massaging a little as he goes.

Cas lets out a groan.

Dean shifts his weight so his cock doesn’t leak on Cas too much.

Evidently he doesn’t move fast enough, as Cas says knowingly, “So this really isn’t a boring chore for you.” Dean can hear the smile in his voice.

Dean snorts. “Not by a long shot.” With one hand stroking down Cas’s other wing, he gives himself a few quick tugs, his breath hissing out between his teeth. Christ, he’s hard enough to knock a man out cold (hopefully Cas).

Cas twists a little beneath him, rising on his elbows. “Is everything al-” he asks as he turns around. His face goes slack, his words dying off.

Dean smirks at him. “Like what you see?” To emphasize his point, he drags his fingers through Cas’s feathers in time with one more pull on his cock.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Cas snaps, twisting up and manhandling Dean, no longer smirking, onto his back. Wings flared wide above them, Cas looms over him, his face half shadowed. 

“Cas?” Dean asks, stunned, turned on, and a little terrified all at once.

Cas licks his lips. Silently, he reaches behind himself, and Dean’s overloaded brain doesn’t catch on to what Cas is doing until well-oiled fingers slide between his thighs.

“Shit,” Dean mutters as he hastily spreads his legs. He stares up at Cas, his jaw going slack at the look of utter devotion and concentration on his face. “Uh,” he coughs, “Not to spoil the mood or anything, but do you want to get a condom or something?”

Cas circles Dean’s hole a few times, spreading his oil around every nook and cranny without actually dipping inside. He lets Dean squirm on his finger before saying, “I don’t think we need one. I’m clean. And you don’t have any sexually transmitted infections.”

Dean wrinkles his nose. “How the hell do you know that?”

“You smell healthy.”

“Gross, man.”

Cas chuckles under his breath. “You made fun of me for weeks after I told that customer I smelled his untreated bladder infection. You said I should, I quote, ‘keep that shit to myself.’”

“Are you seriously telling me  I told you so,  now?” Dean demands.

Cas pushes the tip of his finger past Dean’s rim, and Dean’s surprised gasp cuts off his own retort.  “You petty fucker.”

“I try,” Cas says, his voice dry as stale toast. He pushes in deeper, up to the first knuckle. “How does that feel?”

“Good,” Dean says hoarsely. The stretch burns a little, but the good kind of burn, not the painful kind. “Keep going.”

Cas adds another finger as Dean eagerly bears down, meeting him thrust for thrust. With his other hand, Cas reaches behind himself for more oil.

“Hey,” Dean pants, grabbing at Cas’s wrist. “Can I?”

Cas lets his confusion show all over his face, but lets Dean guide his free hand towards Dean’s mouth rather than his ass. His eyes widen in understanding as Dean slips two fingers into his mouth. The taste of Cas explodes over his tongue: musky, earthy, and bright all at once. Dean sucks, and Cas’s face morphs into naked lust.

Hoarsely, Cas asks, “Are you sufficiently prepared?”

Dean nods, letting Cas’s fingers fall from his lips. “I always wondered what that’d taste like.”

Cas pauses in lining himself up with Dean’s hole. “Did it live up to your expectations?”

“Sure did,” Dean says, groaning as Cas’s cock enters him, “You taste great.”

“Thank you?” Cas grunts distractedly as he pushes himself in further. His feathers flutter like leaves in a light breeze as his hips meet Dean’s ass. He stays fully seated inside Dean for a moment, biting his lip.

“You okay?” Dean asks wryly as he looks up at Cas through lowered lashes. “Not going to come in two minutes, are you?” His eyes widen. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that! But, y’know, I’d like it if this first time lasts a little longer.”

“So do I,” Cas says fervently as he starts to pull out.

Dean’s legs shake from the long, slow slide of Cas’s cock moving inside him. “Fuck,” he swears as Cas pushes back in. He wraps his arms around Cas, once again burying his hands in the feathers now slick with oil.

Cas leans down, touching his lips briefly to Dean’s, before drawing away to drive his cock deeper. Dean clutches at him harder, whining as Cas thrusts his hips forward, faster and faster. Toes curling, Dean can’t help arching his back so Cas reaches that good spot inside him.

He moans as Cas brushes against his prostate, zings of heat and anticipation leaping down his whole body. “Touch me,” he begs Cas in between ragged breaths. “I’m close.” His neglected cock has smeared precome all over his abdomen.

But Cas slows instead, and Dean barely holds back a whine as he stops altogether. Cas says, his voice rough, “I thought you wanted this to last.”

“I-” Dean can’t complete his thought. He bucks his hips, but Cas is like granite against him. No give at all. He clenches the muscles in his ass, gratified as Cas’s face spasms, but he doesn’t pick up again from where he left Dean high and not-all-that-dry.

“You wanted this to last,” Cas reminds him. “And I’m glad we have a moment now.” He lays a reverent hand on Dean’s chest. “You are beautiful, Dean Winchester. You, opening yourself up to me-”

Dean purses his lips. “Pretty sure you did the opening up, buddy.”

Cas breaks off, rolling his eyes. He pinches Dean’s nipple in punishment. Laughing, Dean tries to wiggle out of the way, but, of course, Cas has him good and pinned. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

“Sure, sure,” Dean says, his face heating uncomfortably under Cas’s continued scrutiny. 

“I never thought I’d get to have you like this,” Cas says quietly as he cups Dean’s cheek with one hand.

Dean coughs. But Cas just keeps staring, and Dean really should’ve known breaking the tension between him and Cas would take bigger guns than that. He licks his lips, one corner of his mouth ticking up as Cas’s gaze drops down to follow the movement of his tongue. Eventually, he mutters, “Me neither.”

Cas’s returning smile is nearly blinding. He braces himself with both hands next to Dean’s shoulders. “May I try something?” he asks.

“Sure?”

“Tell me if this too much,” and that’s all the warning Dean has before Cas beats his wings.

Cas doesn’t use their full power, but the small, controlled flaps still force Cas deeper than Dean had thought possible. Each thrust drives the breath from Dean’s lungs, leaving him gasping and holding on for dear life to the backs of Cas’s wings themselves as an anchor.

The powerful muscles flex and tense beneath his fingers, and it doesn’t even look like Cas can tell Dean is squeezing his wings in a death grip. Cas’s eyes are screwed shut, but his mouth is lax and open. Rapturous, is the only word that comes to Dean’s mind before Cas’s cock grinds against his prostate and all thoughts are wiped from his head other than,  more, more, holy fuck, give me more.

His orgasm rushes over him in a whole-body shudder. 

He opens his eyes to see Cas staring at him at point-blank range.

Cas raises his eyebrows, the pleased son of a bitch. “So it wasn’t too much, then?”

Dean gives him a weary thumbs up as he falls back onto the nest, his whole body completely relaxed. Cas’s hard cock shifts inside him, and Dean twitches like a livewire from the aftershocks.

“Do you mind if I keep going?” Cas asks in a strained voice.

Dean smiles up at him. “Knock yourself out, big guy.”

All it takes is a couple slow drags - Cas keeps the wings folded, or else Dean would shake apart from the oversensitivity - and Cas falls over the edge. He comes breathing Dean’s name.

* * *

Dean wakes up alone. From the dim light filtering in from the window, it’s early evening. Confused more than anything, Dean pulls on his jeans - helpfully folded at the side of Cas’s nest. He grabs his flannel but doesn’t bother buttoning it up as he takes the stairs two at a time. 

No Cas on the first floor either.

A quick peek out the window tells Dean Cas hasn’t left the property - his fugly, practical truck sits in its usual spot in the driveway.

Dean finds him with the bees, because of course he does. Cas is not wearing the full bee suit, only a long-sleeved denim jacket and worn linen pants with the hems tucked into his boots.

“Would’ve been nice to wake up with you!” Dean calls as he hastily does up the buttons of his flannel since getting a dozen stings would be the kicker after the best sex of his life.

Cas carefully slides the comb back into place. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stay,” he says, and he does sound regretful. “I was worried about the bees. I’m almost done now, though.”

“I figured,” Dean says, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Next time, though, I’ll drag your ass back to the nest. This is your first warning.”

Cas noticeably brightens at the mention of next time. “I’ll remember, Dean,” he says solemnly.

Dean raises his eyebrows. “Will you?” he asks as he takes a few slow steps closer. As long as he doesn’t swat at any of the bees or make any sudden movements, he should be safe as far as bee stings go. “You didn’t remember how to clear a honeycomb a few hours ago.”

“I remember  now,”  Cas says, his eyes narrowing with suspicion at the gleeful expression on Dean’s face.

“You sure?” Dean asks innocently. “’Cause I could always give you a few pointers. Y’know. Since you’re so new at this.”

“You’re unbelievable,” Cas mutters as he walks away from the hives.

“I could show you how to use a bee escape. Extract a super. Requeen a colony,” Dean says as he falls into step with Cas.

“How am I simultaneously impressed that you remember what I’ve taught you and annoyed that you’re using it to mock me?”

Dean shrugs. “I’m just that awesome.”

Cas casts him a long, considering look as they approach the back porch. “Or you’re just that much of an ass.”

Dean clears his throat. “Looks like you’ll have to stick around to find out which.”

Dean scrambles in after him to kiss the undoubtedly smug look off Cas’s face.

“I think I already know,” Cas says with a sincere smile. “I've always known, since that first time you begged me to watch Star Wars with you.”

But, because Cas the true ass out of the pair of them, he ends that sappy sentiment by patting Dean condescending on the head with the tip of his wing as he strides into the main house.

#profoundnet #angel castiel #beekeeper castiel #farmer dean #fluff #amnesia #wing kink #mutual pining #friends to lovers #wing grooming #rae writes fic

[melloian]

Character Bio 5

Nathalie Sancoeur

Age: 44

Gender: F

Race: French Species: Human

Alignment: Neutral

Status: Alive

Occupation: Assistant, fashion studio employee, Superhero (formerly), Supervillain (formerly), 

Love interest: none

Friends: Gabriel (formerly), Adrien, Emilie, Felix, Joanne, Ladybug , Mime, Duusu, Queen Bee, Ingenue, the people at Daroness

Enemies: Miraculous heroes (formerly), Gabriel/Hawkmoth (currently) 

Personality: Calm, caring, strict, Tolerant, Studious, serious, Painstaking, emotional

Fake Personality: evil, strict, uncaring, Egocentric

Bio: Nathalie is an assistant for Gabriel for taking care of the house and Fashion studio. She tries to work as hard as just can, just for the sake of it. However, she emotional due to her traumatic experience with Gabriel. She certainly wants him gone, but she planning on do so. As she planning she becomes a supervillain name mayura.

As Villain: She really doesn’t have a goal at all, she just following what Gabriel wants. But she still just works at Daroness (faraway villain tower).

Backstory:

Heroism

When Nathalie was a teenager, she found a miraculous box on her desk in her bedroom. She thought her mother gave her this, so she decided to open the box and she found 2 peacock earrings. After opening it, a kwami came out. She was shocked. The Kwami introduced themselves towards Nathalie and how the earrings operated. Later that day, Nathalie decided to become a hero and name herself Beautstuna.

Popularity 

Nathalie at first wasn’t very popular. She was extremely clumsy and easily damage things by accident. But by the time she became a young adult, many people loved her. She had merchandises, commercials, interviews, and fans everywhere. She even had her own tv show. She loved this life. (she was also assistant at this time) 

Gabriel’s Family Incident 

She heard an argument next door with Gabriel and Emilie. After Gabriel exited out the room, She asked what happened. However Gabriel didn’t notice her and just walked away. Later that night, Nathalie was walking in the hallway checking on Felix. However she heard coughing in Emilie/Gabriel’s room. She quickly went in the room and saw Emilie fall unconscious. She saw this and decided to call the hospital until Gabriel came into to room and charged at her. He told her to call no one or he’ll kill her. She was freaked out and ran out the room panicking. From that day forward she was still traumatized about it.

Downfall 

12 Years later, Gabriel wanted more help, so he wanted Nathalie to join. However Nathalie refused which caused Gabriel to become angry. He started to pull one of her earrings but then stopped and asked if those were miraculouses. She feared that he’ll scream again so she said yes and lied about that she stole those miraculous. He smiled and once again wanted her to join him. She only accepted because she’s scared him. So, Gabriel gave her a powder for the kwami to eat. She kept it, but she didn’t let her kwami eat it just yet. She had no choice but to get rid of her hero identity completely. So she started to spread a lie on the internet that Beautstuna was dead. She also created a fake corpse and fake images to prove it otherwise. People believed it and started a huge ceremony for her funeral.  She made her cried because she had to lie just so satisfy Gabriel. Now, she told her best friend, Duusu that she had no choice but to corrupt him. Duusu understands that she can’t get out of this so he ate the blue stuff she gave him slowly awhile crying. Soon or later it corrupted him awhile she was crying. 

She soon became Mayura.

As Beautstuna

Altered personality: determined, outgoing, Daring, cheerful, cooperative, Tolerant 

Abilities:

Med durability

Flexibility

Plucker - summon feathers

Eyes of the feather - changes the user eyes and brainwash the person into doing something

StepBeat - causes the user to dance and fight (dancing awhile fighting makes the user stronger and make the user more efficient in fighting)

Empathy - can sense anyone emotions

Body transmission - the user can control the body of an akumanzatied being.

Sharper - Can pluck feathers from back and turn into swords or shards.

Danca - the user dances which lures the person or species.

Musictrail - sings a song that follows the targeted person direction (only used for if the user trying to chase some one). 

PonciousKiss - The user sends a kiss that makes the person drownsy 

Glide

Fletch - pluck a feather and  De-akumanize a person and prevent them from being akumantized for an current time.

Sweeping feathers -  clean all the damage and reserve the effects

TrueLock - transforms to turn form (an unlocked from from bondship)

Main ability

Lucidization -  can  control a person by using a feather to control the people in positive emotion. The person that the user picked will serve them for ever long the user want them to serve. If the user agrees, they will create sentimonster which the user can get inside to control.  It can also create a separate entity from the person emotions that controls differently without a person controlling it.

The user can also cancel Lucidization if it affects the wrong person.

Weapon: Fan and Heels..

Item: Grapple hook (she unlocked it by true bondship)

Beautstuna (true form)

Altered personality: the same

Everything is the same but more enchanted and stronger.

Abilities:

High durability

Shine from above - creates a light that shines at the person, making them unable to see.

Guard - put a feather on a person which will  from any evil substance  permanently(can be used once per transformation.)

Eye Wise - Power that used by the eyes that will teleport some one to different location

Midas Touch - turn anything into gold by zapping. 

Main ability: 

Eyes of the peacock - grant others enchantment and grant Luck.

As Maryua (corrupted version of beaustuna)

Altered personality: nothing since its a corrupted form 

Everything is basically the same, expect she no longer have an grapple hook or true form. She also have less power then before, so she can’t use half it anymore.

Main ability:

Amokization -  can  control a person by using a feather to control the people in negative emotion. The person that the user picked will serve them for ever long the user want them to serve. If the user agrees, they will create sentimonster which the user in trapped inside to control.  It can also create a separate entity from the person emotions that controls differently without a person controlling it.

The user can also cancel amokization if it affects the wrong person.

Neo-ster (akumanzatied form)

Altered personality - gloomy, emotional, strict, Insecure, hostile,  sloppy, Cantankerous

cause of akumanzation: gabriel screamed at her for no reason causing her to get scared and get upset.

Goal: To make the whole world feel sad

Akumantized object: her glasses

abilities: 

Very fast

the horns on her head can zap people into becoming sad

can drain people happiness

weakness: if she use too much power she ends up becoming drowsy

Ingenue (self amokzation(in the past))

sentimonster personality - generous, caring , determined, confident, Persuasive

cause of amokzation: she needed a helper

amokzationed object: a tall doll she made.

abilities:

can change forms

night vision

flight

laser beams

speedie - can make herself faster

Shapeshifts

have sticky bombs

(this sentimonster pretty much  have its own feelings, control and etc)

Bugappero (self-amokzation)

sentimonster persoanlity: have none

cause of amokzation: she wanted to help with destroyer

amokzationed object - golden bug

abilities:

flight

Purple goop ball that can be shot, and when its shot, it will burn anything to crisp like acid.

Recharge

Relationships (main ones)

Nathalie & Gabriel

Nathalie was hired from Gabriel which she works for him. She take care of his kids, work in fashion business and etc. She obey him in every way because she that he will kill him if she disagrees. She however is trying to plan against him. She have been building a ray gun that will make people disappear. She hates him for what he done and his personality. Before this all happened, she used to care about Gabriel before the family incident. 

 Betrayal Arc

When she was finally done creating her ray gun, she soon went up to the butterfly tower. Gabriel notice she was up here and so he tasked to do something, however Nathalie denied. She told him everything about what he did to her and others. She soon pull out a ray gun at him. Which causes him to snapped and charge at her and punch her extremely hard. She fall unconscious awhile Gabriel grab her gun. At night, she soon left the house completely, and go live somewhere else.

Nathalie & Felix 

Nathalie loves Felix like a son. She feels sorry for him because of Gabriel’s treatment. She tries to make him feel better the best way she can.

Nathalie & Adrien

Nathalie loves Adrien like a son. She pretty much worries about him, due to Gabriel’s influences. She tries to tell what Gabriel did, but Adrien doesn't want to hear it. She feels bad because Adrien is fully gullible to Gabriel and she can’t do nothing about it.

 Chat noir

She really don’t want to hurt him, but she have too because of Gabriel. She used to teach him how to be a hero (like ladybug) before they can go as they own.

Nathalie & Ingénue 

Nathalie created Ingenue for helper. Every since she was created, they have been friends. Ingeune usually catches the bad guys or distract them. Outside of being heroes, they usually just hang out together. But now, she was forced to deactivate Ingenue because she had be a villain for Gabriel. Nathalie cries and misses her. 

Nathalie & Mime

She knew mime every since she was Beautstuna. She remembers he was tough to defeat. Every since she now worked at Daroness, she was confused that he acted completely different outside his criminal acts. However, she was just as worried when she realized that he was only a villain because of Gabriel. Which she was happy when she heard he later betrayed him. 

Nathalie & Duusu

Nathalie loved Duusu. They became best friends every since they met. She used to talk to him about her problems. However, after she give him the corruption powder, she missed his original self. She have full control of him but its not what she really wanted.

Full body

(Hair down)

As a teenager

As beautstuna (teen) 

Other information

She keep Merchandises of herself in her own room and have other merchandises of other heroes.

She finds Mr pigeon annoying

She heard about wang Fu, but she doesn’t know how he looks like

She really didn’t know Emilie much

She is one of the villains who doesn’t remember their akumantized form. The others being Mime and Ha-endor.

She have 2 types of glasses

She have a few gray stirngs

jeez i forgot to add other stuff to other bios ;-;

i will have a infomation of true forms, later

#nathalie sancoeur #miraculous ladybug #miraculous au #miraculous chat noir #chat noir #cat noir #adrien agreste #miraculous adrien #ml adrien #miraculous nathalie #miraculous the mime #miraculous mime #miraculous gabriel #gabriel agreste #miraculous duusu #miraculous mayura #felix graham de vanily #miraculous felix #felix agreste

[is0gild]

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 20

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 10,096

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

Turns out once you've smooched a guy on the nose, things like holding his hand and other such minor displays of affection no longer seem so daunting.

Sure, even as I reached for his hand now, some small amount of mental self-cheerleading was still required in order to work myself up to it. And okay, the tiny flutter in my chest when my fingers brushed against his almost had me pulling back faster than you could say 'emotion-phobia.' But I didn't. And hey, this was way more than I could have brought myself to do even just a few short days ago. This was kind of huge for me, so I think I'd earned the right to take a little pride in my headway so far. Who knew, I just might pull off my half of this whole pretend dating deal yet.

Lea glanced down at my touch. Then he grinned, pulling my hand up to press a soft kiss to the back of it before setting it back down on the dinner table, his thumb trailing light circles along my knuckles. Picking right back up where he'd left off in the conversation, he said, "Oh yeah, GUMMI ships got all sorts of badass tech going on now, the likes of which would put both Star Trek and Star Wars to shame. Super, ultra, mega-laser cannons, impenetrable force fields, swarms of nanobots that can repair any and all damage just like that," he snapped his fingers. Lea then planted an elbow on the table and leaned forward to add in a conspiratorial whisper, "They even have defense systems in the form of giant, exploding space duckies."

Saïx gave him a flat look from where he sat on the other side of the table from us. "Not true."

"Sure it is!" Lea chirped, straightening back up in his chair. "I mean, how else are they gonna fight all those aliens out there?"

Propping my cheek in my free palm, I cocked an eyebrow at him as I felt an upward tug at one corner of my lips. "Aliens? As in little green men?"

"No, no, that'd just be silly," he waved off with a scoff. "As in lil shadow men. Creepy bastards with big, yellow eyes and twitchy antennae." Still holding my hand, he brought both of his own up to either side of his head, miming said antennae with his index fingers.

Closing his eyes, Saïx gave a low sigh into his wine glass. "Also not true."

Lea shrugged, "Oh sure, they're not all like that. There was that blue one they found over in Hawaii, what was its code name again… Experiment 626? Yeah, the government got that one covered up real fast. And don't even get me started on the total dreadnought that is Schwarzgeist lurking out there somewhere in the night sky that absolutely obliterated the USS Endymion."

"The sheer amount of not true you are spouting off right now is positively staggering," Saïx deadpanned, eyelids drooping as he dabbed his napkin to his mouth. "You really need to stop staying up late every night reading all those conspiracy theories out there on the internet."

Lips curling into an evil smirk, Lea said, "But how else am I gonna royally piss you off so much?"

That earned him a small scowl from his brother.

This was basically it. The whole evening in a nutshell from the moment I'd stepped foot into Lea's apartment. Like me, it seemed that Saïx was not much of a talker, at least not amongst strangers. Unlike me however, it appeared to have less to do with social anxiety and more like he just plain wasn't a fan of the whole talking thing and so only did it when he deemed it absolutely necessary. Which I could totally respect. It was just that between the two of us, it had a tendency to leave a bit of a void in the conversation every now and then. Luckily, it was void that Lea was only too happy to fill.

Saïx had been the one to cook dinner. It seemed that that was part of the breakdown of chores in their living arrangement: he usually handled supper while breakfast was Lea's job. Saïx and I had already emptied our plates by now while Lea was still working on his, seeing as how he was otherwise preoccupied with talking a mile a minute. The meal had been a very nice chicken bruschetta pasta paired with a red wine from a fancy looking bottle. The latter I'd thought to be a bit of an odd choice, as I didn't picture Lea being much of a wine drinker. But there he was, sipping away at it, pinkie raised as he did so for an added bit of flair. I guess he just wasn't picky and would drink whatever was put in front of him. I, on the other hand, had decided not to partake. Would rather keep a clear head during this bit of subterfuge we were playing out in front of Saïx.

The point was, there was wine. And wine equaled a wine tipsy Lea. And a wine tipsy Lea, as I was discovering, equaled a chatty Lea. The boy was already chatty to begin with, but this was an all new level. This was chatty on steroids. Needless to say, he was having no trouble whatsoever keeping the conversation rolling.

"Why are we even discussing the GUMMI space program again?" Saïx asked in his bored monotone.

Lea drove his fork down into his pasta, twirling it around. "You know you're always a total slut for outer space, man. The moon and constellations and all that crap is your jam."

"Yes, but our guest," he gestured towards me, "might not find the topic nearly so interesting."

Trailing a finger along the rim of my still full wine glass, I said, "Actually, I've been fascinated by the research their lead mechanical scientist Cid Highwind has been doing in the field of warping technology. With his help, it might not be long before our ships can travel to other solar systems."

Both men just blinked silently at me for a moment.

What? So I liked to keep up on current events by reading a news article every now and again online. It really was not a big deal.

Saïx was the one to speak up first. "Yes. It's said Highwind is hoping to have a working prototype in less than five years."

Do my eyes deceive me? Was that the hint of a smile ghosting over Saïx's mouth?

Oh wow, I think I'd managed to score some points.

...not that it mattered, of course. Since this was only a fake relationship, after all, so getting in the brother's good graces didn't really mean all that much to me. Not one bit. Nope.

Nuzzling his nose to my ear, Lea beamed, "Hell yeah! My baby knows shit!"

"More than you do at least," Saïx sniffed blandly.

Expression relaxing into a sly grin now, he shot back, "I know enough to know about an astral sea monster whose sheer mass is gargantuan enough to blot out the very sun, the terror of the cosmos, eater of spacecrafts and destroyer of worlds, the dreaded galactic space whale," he paused for dramatic effect before splaying a hand out before him as he intoned in hushed reverence, "...Monstro."

Saïx grumbled under his breath and facepalmed.

"By my count, that's the eighth time he's done that tonight," Lea stage whispered to me. "Just five more and I'll have beat my all-time record."

I gave a low hum of amusement. "I suppose it's important to have goals in life."

He snorted, returning his attention to his food as he scooped a forkful into his mouth. I noticed that he'd incidentally stained one side of his lips in the process and I had a brief flashback to a familiar scene of Sora and Kairi. Of the pair of them sitting in the food court and Kairi kissing away a similarly located blotch on her boyfriend. Now that right there had been a seriously advanced dating technique and one I was in no way ready to try out myself. You kidding me? I was still very much a beginner here and the very idea of trying to pull off such a maneuver already had my ears turning pink. That said, a newbie like me still had some options, especially with my newfound ability to make the first move and actually touch my (fake) boyfriend without completely spazzing out.

I tucked in my lower lip, hesitating briefly as my pulse thudded a little more loudly against my eardrums. But then I slowly lifted my hand.

Lea visibly stiffened as he felt my thumb brush at the corner of his mouth, wiping the smudge away. As I began to retract my arm however, he dropped his fork to snatch my wrist and stop me. I arched an eyebrow at him. He smiled back with hooded eyes. Then he gently tugged my thumb up to his lips and licked the sauce off it.

Breath hitching, I yanked my hand free of his grasp. His smile just turned smug as he winked at me.

Apparently, Wine Tipsy Lea had even less boundaries than usual.

As I wiped my thumb with a napkin and ducked my head to hide my boiling cheeks, I heard Saïx mutter, "One has to wonder what a woman of your obvious intelligence and sophistication even sees in an asinine clown such as my brother."

"Well let me think about it," Lea's eyes danced as he folded his hands together, steepling his index fingers so the joined tips touched his mouth. "Perhaps it's my devilish charm and debonair good looks?"

"Oh come now," he said cooly with another sip of his wine, "if you're going to be making things up, you should attempt to make them at least halfway credible."

"He makes me laugh," I suddenly heard myself saying. As both pairs of eyes turned towards me, I immediately felt self-conscious. I mean seriously, what a stupid, cliché thing to say. But that didn't make it any less true, any less… meaningful. I wasn't someone who laughed a lot. In fact, before I'd run out on my wedding, I could probably count the number of times I'd laughed in the last year on one hand.

Fidgeting with my fingers, I pushed forward, "He's sweet… and thoughtful. And genuine. He's not afraid to be himself. And because of that, I find it easier to be… myself... around him." Another thing that did not come easy to me.

As Lea slipped an arm around my shoulders so he could pull me closer and plant a swift peck to my temple, Saïx gave a soft harrumph, "Well, I guess there's no accounting for taste."

"Psst, Saïx," Lea lowered his voice, bending forward over the table and cupping a hand to his mouth. "The moon landing was faked."

With a heavy sigh through his nose, he merely rose from his chair and started gathering the plates and silverware together. As he reached for mine, I protested, "No, that's okay, I can take care of it."

"You're the guest," he said simply as he swiped it up in one smooth motion.

"Best not argue, otherwise he might unleash his berserker wrath on you," Lea sniggered to me. However, when Saïx next took his plate away (still with food on it), he snapped, "Hey! I wasn't done with that!"

"Then you should have eaten faster," he responded dryly.

He stuck his tongue out at him. "Oh yeah? Well the earth is flat." As Saïx turned towards the kitchen, the plates stacked in his hand "accidentally" smacked into Lea's forehead, forcing a small grunt out of him.

I hid a grin behind my hand as Lea pressed his fingertips to the fresh sore spot with a soft tch. Then he downed the rest of his wine as he stood up himself, gathering the other glasses between his fingers on one hand while balling up napkins together in the other. He looked at me, face brightening, "Why don'tcha go on and take a seat in the living room. I'll join ya after I finish helping Saïx clean up."

"Alright," I nodded. He used a hand (the one stuffed full of napkins) to pull my seat out as I stood and gave him a tiny smile before moving past him. Reaching the blue sofa, I moved some of its mismatched pillows to clear a space and took a seat on the far end, tugging the hem of my dress down to cover my knees as I listened to the sound of running water and clinking dishware coming from the kitchen.

I didn't have to wait long before the boys were rejoining me. Lea came bounding over first, plopping himself unceremoniously down onto the couch with me.

Leaving one whole cushion space between us.

I furrowed my brow over at him. However, I did not have to wonder for long at his unexpected seating choice.

For next thing I knew, he'd flopped over onto his side and was using my lap as a makeshift pillow.

My eyes widened and I jolted, one hand going to my chest. His cheek nestled against my leg as one hand went to my knee, his thumb tracing lightly along its top curve over the fabric. "Mmm… you're comfy!" he sighed contentedly.

It was official. Wine Tipsy Lea had absolutely zero boundaries.

Halfway into taking a seat into a maroon armchair to our right, Saïx stopped. Then he straightened back up to his full height with a tired, drawn-out huff. "Perhaps some coffee would be in order."

I gradually relaxed, my eyes crinkling as I glanced down at Lea with a resigned smile. He was like a kitten cuddling into my lap. A really big kitten. I half expected him to start purring. "Perhaps that might be for the best," I murmured in agreement.

My eyes lifted long enough to follow Saïx as he made his way back over towards their kitchen, long blue hair swaying behind him as he went. When I looked back down, I realized with a tiny start that one of my hands had taken it upon itself to start lightly stroking Lea's hair.

Huh. How did that cheeky little devil get there?

I should stop.

But it was just so very... soft. Softer than I remembered. So soft that it felt like I was doing something wrong, something… forbidden by daring to touch it.

...okay, I really, really needed to stop.

...ten seconds. Just ten more measly, innocent seconds, then I'd stop.

There was a low, pleased hum in Lea's throat as my fingers continued to slowly run through his fiery locks. Then he rolled over onto his back, capturing my hand with his to press a gentle kiss into my palm. It tickled and my heart stuttered as I felt a familiar heat creeping up my neck. He... did know Saïx was no longer nearby to witness this little production he was putting on... right? Then again, maybe Lea was too far gone by now to realize his brother had left the room and so was still on boyfriend autopilot. Cradling my hand to his chest just over his heart, his other came up to start fiddling with the end of my braid from where it hung forward over my shoulder as he grinned up at me. "Wanna know?"

My head tipped to one side, "...know what?"

"You said what you see in me, so now it's my turn. Wanna know what I see in you?"

I blinked at him. Then my eyes briefly flicked over to Saïx just beyond the island counter where he was filling a coffee maker with water. Could he hear us all the way over there? Hopefully… this might be good for show. With a low snort, I planted my elbow on the armrest next to me, propping my cheek against my knuckles as I dropped my gaze back to Lea. "Sure, why not? Go for it."

This should be good.

His grin twitched wider. "You're kooky."

...well I certainly wasn't disappointed.

Though that wasn't quite the word I would have expected out of him. In fact, not the word I would have ever expected out of anyone when used to describe me.

One of my eyebrows quirked. "I'm… kooky?"

He nodded, "Mm-hm! Most people don't know it, but it's there. Way, way deep down in here," he tapped a finger to a spot just below my collarbone before going back to toying with my braid. "Ya try to keep it hidden. Don't like people seeing that side of you for some reason. But I've caught glimpses of it. I like it. Makes me feel like I'm in on a secret no one else is. And you're fun. Hella smart, too. And so goddamn pretty."

"That so?" I muttered, resisting the urge to roll my eyes.

Wine Tipsy Lea was laying it on a bit thick.

Still… I was smiling despite myself.

"And that. Right there," he tapped a finger to my lips. "Your smile is gorgeous. Was the first thing about you that had me head over heels. I love being the one to put it there. Love being the one that can make you laugh."

Did I say a bit thick? Try instead a lot thick. Too thick. Like two metric tons too thick. Jeez, perhaps I'd be better off hoping Saïx couldn't actually hear all this. Even he might think it a bit too much to be believable.

Lea's eyes softened as he continued to stare up at me, his hand shifting over from my mouth to lightly graze his curled fingers against my cheek, leaving tiny tingles in their wake. "...I wish we were real."

Insert record screech.

E-E-Excuse me?!

My heart stopped. Like legit full on stopped. There were at least three full seconds there where if a medical examiner had checked my pulse, they would have probably declared me dead.

Lea froze, his whole body locking up. His eyes grew round and his face blanched, his expression now a perfect mirror of what I imagined my own must have looked like in that exact moment as he seemingly and immediately realized his mistake.

Now I definitely hoped Saïx couldn't overhear us! There seemed to be no reaction from over in the kitchen beyond the sound of water beginning to boil. Which was good. Maybe our cover wasn't blown and-

...and so not the point right now! The point was… was…

Ex-friggin'-scuse me?!

Wish we were real? What did that even mean? Real what? Did he mean that he wanted… that he wished he and I… that we were a… an actual, honest to god coupl-

No! No, I must have misheard. Yeah, that had to be it! He hadn't said… er… what I thought he'd said. No, what he'd probably actually said was, uh… was he wished we were… seals. Yeah, that's probably what it was! Seals were neat! And… and cute! I wouldn't blame him for wanting to be one, especially in his less than totally sober state! Or… or… he could have said that he… he fished… for Neil. Who was Neil, one might wonder? Got me! But you know what? Good for Lea, helping his ol' pal Neil out with fishing like that. Nice guy, that Lea. Such a giver, such a-

"TORS!" Lea suddenly shouted, practically making me jump out of my skin as he shot up off my lap and scooted all the way over to sit at the opposite end of the couch. He had a hand clasped over his nose and mouth, doing a poor job of hiding his reddened (wine flushed?) face. "Realtors! I wish we were realtors, is what I was trying to say!" he hastily clarified, shooting a weak chuckle my way.

I stared at him blankly.

Wha…? Realtors…?

Apparently, he wasn't done. "Yeah! You know, one of those power couples you hear about all the time! Partners in everything, from romance to real estate! That's some real lovey-dovey crap right there, don'tcha think? The epitome of passion! The sappiest dream to ever sap! The-"

"What inanity are you babbling on about now?" Saïx returned, causing me for the second time in as many minutes to nearly die of cardiac arrest. He was carrying two steaming mugs, one in each hand.

"Nothing! Not a damn thing! Nope! Total nonsense!" Lea said quickly, snatching up one of the cups and rapidly blowing on the coffee a couple times before knocking back the whole thing in one go. He pulled the cup away from his lips with a wince, probably suffering from a tongue that was now at least mildly burnt. Then he plastered on a grin, "You know how I get when I'm lost in the sauce, man. I start rambling off total bullshit that I don't even mean. Never. Mm-mm, nope, not one bit! Every word of it? Total garbage. Yup! Heh…"

I flinched back from the second warm mug that was suddenly being offered me. I'd barely had a chance to hold up my hand and shake my head before Lea was grabbing that one too, handling this one with smaller, more cautious sips.

...realtors.

Huh.

Okay, sure, why not?

Not like it was any crazier than any of the other explanations I'd come up with myself. Especially when you considered Lea was more than a little buzzed. People said nonsensical things all the time while under the influence. I'd know, I'd seen Anna in a state of three sheets to the wind on more than one occasion. You should have heard half the things she'd blathered on about at the time… adventures through magical winter wonderlands, talking snowmen, singing rock people, whole castles made of-

Shoot, Saïx was talking to me. Or rather, had been talking to me for a while and now seemed to be expecting some sort of reply. Still a little rattled, I scrounged together a flimsy but polite smile, "I'm sorry, what was that?"

One thin eyebrow arched ever so slightly at me as he cradled a fuming mug between his hands. Apparently he'd gone back at some point to get one for himself as well. "...I heard you were present during one of my sleepwalking episodes a couple weeks back. I hope I didn't give you too much of a fright."

"Oh! No! No, it's-" I got distracted as I felt Lea gingerly inching back over to sit beside me. Probably trying to salvage some semblance of the relationship pretense. However, his affections had become somewhat subdued, restricted now to only resting an arm along the sofa cushions behind my head and his knee brushing against mine as he continued to nurse the coffee. Regathering my train of thought, I tried again, "It's, uh… it's alright. Not your fault. Nor was I bothered by it at all. Just had to stay out of your way, is all."

"Still I-"

"Ya know what?" Lea suddenly piped up, plonking the now empty mug down onto the coffee table right next to the first one. "Sorry guys, but I think we gotta call it an early night! I'm beat! And I mean woof! Dog-tired!"

My eyebrows knit together as I glanced over at him. "...but you just chugged two full cups of coffee."

...what are you doing, you fool, shut up! He was probably trying to rescue us by putting a merciful end to what, as of the last five minutes, had officially become one royal disaster of an evening!

He bat a hand through the air, "That? Please, that was just to help sober my drunk ass up! Trust me, caffeine doesn't do jackshit to me when it comes to staying awake."

Saïx's mouth had settled into a flat line as his green gaze shifted back and forth between Lea and me. "Very well," he said finally, closing his eyes as he raised his cup to his lips, "I presume my noise canceling headphones will be a necessity while I work tonight."

I frowned. "Noise canceling…?"

Lea cleared his throat and gave a sheepish chuckle while scratching a spot behind his ear. "He, uh… thinks you're spending the night."

"Oh…" I said slowly before his words had a chance to fully sink in. Then they did. "Oh!" I repeated more loudly, eyes widening as I rocketed up to my feet, "You mean sex!"

...what the actual frick, mouth?!

"Which is a thing!" Apparently, I was only getting started. Panic mode was in full effect now. "A thing d-dating couples do! Which… which we are! Dating, that is. And a couple! Can't, uh… can't forget that part." Dear lord, where's a gag when you need one? "Which, I don't know w-why you would. Because clearly we're a couple. Yup! That's us!" Yeesh, at least when Lea had been yammering off nonsense, he'd had wine coursing through his veins. What was my excuse? "A couple! A couple who, ah…" Oh no. "...who have, er…" Don't you say it. Don't you dare say it. "...who have sex!"

I winced.

Just shoot me. Shoot me now.

"Oh yeah, lots and lots of it!" Oh great. There was more. "All the time! In all s-sorts of, um… places. My room. His room. Oh look," I pointed both my hands towards Lea's door, "there's his room now!" Make an excuse to leave. Any excuse. " I think we'll go in there now and make with all the sex!" Not that excuse! Pause, followed by tiny, nervous laughter from me. "Yup."

Then before I knew it, I'd bolted into said room, door crashing shut behind me. I pressed my back to it, clutching both hands to my mouth as I hyperventilated and trembled, eyes huge and unblinking as I stared off into space, registering absolutely zilch of what was in front of me now.

What.

Did.

I.

Just.

Do?!

You know what, cheeks? I won't even try and stop you this time. You go right on ahead and blush your nonexistent little hearts out. Fry my face to a friggin' crisp, for all I care. I won't judge. You have every right after… that. Whatever the heck that even was just now!

Oh gosh, had I really just gone on and on about, hrm… intimate relations? In front of Lea's brother? That... had to be... the most spectacular case of anxiety-induced word vomit to date from me yet! What was wrong with me? Who does that? No, seriously, I demand answers this instant, what in the everliving-

A soft knock at the door made me yelp and jump away, whipping around to face it, heart trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest. I was greeted by my own frazzled reflection staring back at me from the full-length mirror hanging there. My face could have been mistaken for a ripe, oversized tomato.

"...El?" Lea's muffled voice came through from the other side. "You might've, uh… kinda forgot something."

A crease formed between my eyebrows. Forgot something? No, I don't think so. I glanced down at myself, hands patting over my dress. Phone in pocket? Check. Shoes on feet? Check. No purse, I hadn't used one tonight. No coat, I'd thought it too warm out for it. My gaze settled on the door once more, eyes scrunching. "What did I forget?"

"...me?"

Oh.

Fudge.

After that, ah… stirring speech I'd just given out there a moment ago, it would certainly help drive the point home if I had him in here with me, wouldn't it?

After all, it took two to, ahem... tango.

As I reached a hand towards the doorknob, I realized I hadn't even locked it. Lea must have only been knocking to be considerate. A consideration I greatly appreciated, especially when you take into account that this was in fact his room that I'd taken sanctuary in. Taking a deep breath and expelling it slowly in one last ditch effort to calm my nerves, my still shaking fingers closed around the knob and twisted.

I cracked the door ajar about an inch, just barely enough for me to peek one eye through. Arms crossed and one shoulder propped against the doorframe, Lea tilted his head with a tiny smile, "Hey."

My gaze fell to my feet for a moment before flicking back up to meet his. "...hi."

"Can I come in?"

I hesitated for another heartbeat then nodded, pulling the door open further and taking a couple steps back. He turned his head to one side, calling out a quick, "Night, man!" to Saïx before walking in and closing the door.

Ah, awkward silence. Ye hath returned. Never could stay away from me for long, could you?

"So…" I hugged myself and decided to get into a staring contest with the floor. "...think he likes me?"

Lea snerked, folding one arm behind his back, hand hooking his opposite elbow as he leaned back against the mirror hanging from his door. "You kidding? He adores you. Practically ready to call ya sister-in-law."

I attempted a smile. It came across as more of a grimace. "Even after I was… all…"

"...smooth and cool as a cucumber?" he supplied, his voice chipper. "Absolutely! And you said you couldn't lie," he teased. "You handled that one like a total pro!"

...oh. Wow, he was right. Not about the "pro" part, obviously, but that I had lied. For the first time since this whole charade started, I'd told a straight out, bald-faced lie. It had been a monumental failure, to be sure, but hey… we all had to start somewhere. Guess I had to take my silver linings wherever I could.

"Gah, I should have just made up some sort of… of excuse or something." I started pacing slowly, eyes still downcast as I brought one hand up to chew on my thumbnail. "Said I couldn't stay because I had an opening shift tomorrow."

He shook his head, "Saïx knows you work at the mall with me, so he also knows I woulda happily driven ya over from here, even at the crack of dawn."

Frowning, I tried again, "Well then, I could have said that… ah! That you had an early test tomorrow so I shouldn't be keeping you up late!"

"Nah, he knows me too well," he smirked, waggling his eyebrows. "Knows I'd never let a lil thing like that stop me."

I blinked. Then I buried my face in my hands with a groan. "Oh god, I can never face him again. Not after that." Dragging my palms down to peek out between my fingers, I grumbled, "I'm guessing it's safe to assume he's retracted his 'woman of obvious intelligence and sophistication' comment." Ha. Showed what Saïx knew.

Shrugging one shoulder, he laughed, "I wouldn't worry 'bout it too much. Just another side of your kookiness that I mentioned earlier. 'Sides, he knows what a nervous, jumpy creature you are."

Up quirked one eyebrow. "...he does?"

"Well, he does now."

...fair point.

One that did not make me feel better.

"And look at the bright side," Lea continued. "It's good this happened here rather than in front of your folks! Now you'll be better prepared to handle it the next time it comes up."

My lips twisted sourly, "I guess so." As bad as this already was, it would have spelled utter disaster if that little freakout had occurred during the upcoming weekend with my parents. We're talking one epic catastrophe here, like meteor-taking-out-the-dinosaurs kind of catastrophe. Then again, I didn't particularly see this exact set of circumstances arising while I was around my family. Still… best to be on the safe side. I wrinkled my brow, "Better prepared… how?"

"Ah, well…" he pursed his lips to one side, tapping a finger against his other arm. "For starters… and I'm just spitballing here, but next time you could maybe just, ya know… not say the word sex repeatedly? If at all? I'm thinking this is 'less is more' kinda situation."

"...good call."

"Heh," he paused, rubbing his shoulder. "So... looks like we're bunkmates."

I lowered my gaze once more and brought my curled fingers up to my mouth, covering my deepening frown. "Yeah… looks like…"

I wish we were real.

Gah, why was I still even thinking about that?! Lea had already explained it, hadn't he? Realtors. The word he had actually said, had been in the middle of saying, was realtors. It was nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just the ramblings of a guy who'd had a little too much to drink. Why was I still stuck on this?

My face must have been an open book. "Listen, I… meant what I said earlier," he spoke abruptly and my eyes darted up to lock on his. He averted his gaze and scratched his cheek, "You can't take anything I say too seriously when I've been drinking. Often my brain is just stringing random words together and spitting out the first arbitrary bullshit it can come up with. Like a toddler that's just learned to talk, regurgitating words it doesn't even understand just cuz it heard it from someone else at some point. Half the time, the things I say when I'm liquored up don't even make any sense." His eyes settled on me once more, this time accompanied by a weak smile. "So just don't be too… concerned about any gibberish that came blurting outta my stupid drunk mouth, 'kay? And you won't hear another peep of it tonight. Those two coffees are kicking in fast, so I'm much more clear headed now."

I tugged at my braid before folding my arms tightly together once more. "...okay."

And now onward to Act 1, Scene 2 of the award-winning and critically acclaimed musical: Awkward Silence.

"I have a lizard!"

My head rocked back at Lea's sudden declaration out of nowhere, both eyebrows shooting up my forehead. "...a lizard?"

He nodded eagerly, grinning big now. "Yeah! Wanna see? Come take a look!" He moved off to his left towards one corner of the room and for the first time I realized that there was a large glass terrarium situated on a long, low table in that spot. Lea squatted down next to it, waving me over to join him. I obliged and when I got close enough, he took hold of my hand and tugged me down into a crouch beside him. He squinted into the enclosure for a second, scanning all the rocks and plants inside before, "Ah-ha!" He pointed, tapping his finger against the glass, "There he is!"

And indeed, there he was, curled up inside a small, hollowed out log and blinking back at us. He was a tiny thing, all big eyes and blue skin except for the purple markings running down his back. "Oh wow," I slowly smiled, "you really do have a lizard. Why didn't you say anything last time I was here?"

"Cuz 'come into my bedroom so I can introduce you to my lizard' sounds a lil sketch, don'tcha think?" he chuckled, waggling his pointer finger up and down at his pet in greeting.

A soft snort. "Yeah, that might have earned you a dubious look." The critter crawled out into the open now, giving us a curious look. "Can I hold him?"

Lea flashed some dimple, "Course!" Straightening up, he moved the terrarium's lamps to one side before sliding out the lid and reaching inside, mumbling, "C'mere, Bruni." Picking the reptile up, he then offered him to me, "Now, the lil guy's usually shy at first but warms up quick and can be a bit of a flirt."

I stood as well, holding one hand out. Bruni cautiously put one stubby-toed foot on my fingers, eyeing me warily before fully walking the rest of the way into my palm. He was small enough to fit perfectly in it. Then he cocked his head up at me. I cocked mine back then hummed a low laugh, stroking a finger along the top of his head. That seemed to be all it took to win him over, for he then bellyflopped into a cuddle against my palm before rolling over onto his back.

"Bit of a flirt indeed," I murmured, rubbing his tummy with my fingertip. "What kind is he?"

"Salamander. Which, I know, technically not a lizard. But feels simpler most of the time just telling people that's what he is." He fell silent for a second, eyes crinkling as he watched us. Then he walked past me, saying, "Hey, welcome to my room by the way!"

I turned to face him and for the first time got a real good look at the place. If I had to pick one word to describe it, that word would be pandemonium.

Clothes were strewn about everywhere, covering floor and furniture alike - pretty much anywhere conceivable besides actually inside a dresser. Bookshelves stacked high with no rhyme or reason, textbooks next to movie DVDs (from action thriller to cornball classics) next to game CD cases next to vinyl records. Walls and ceiling plastered with posters, mostly of classic rock bands, but there was the occasional renegade: one here in which a dangerous looking man posed with an Assassin's Creed logo across the bottom, another one there depicting a grim reaper character dual-wielding sickles that looked to be from another video game of some sort. A queen-sized bed with black and red sheets buried beneath a mess of paper and more textbooks, along with a closed laptop and his shoulder bag tossed carelessly on top of it all.

And that was just barely scratching the chaotic surface. Needless to say, it was a lot to take in.

"Pardon the mess," he gave a rueful chuckle, scrambling to snatch clothes up off the carpet here and there to chuck into the laundry basket residing in his open closet, just under a black, full-length coat hanging from the rung in there. "Wasn't expecting any overnight visitors."

"It's, uh…" So many adjectives, so little time. As I searched for a word, I felt Bruni crawling up my sleeve. I kept an eye on him to make sure he didn't slip, but otherwise let him do his own thing. At last, I settled on, "...big."

"Yup! I got the masters! Comes complete with its own bathroom and everything," he jerked a thumb towards a second closed door on the other side of the room. By now, Bruni had found his way onto my shoulder and was snuggling into the crook of my neck. My fingers came up to pet along his spine. Narrowing his eyes on the salamander, Lea went on, "Surprisingly, Saïx prefers the smaller, cozier room. He's a minimalist, so not like he needs all that much space anyhow. Which works out for me, especially since I used to, er… heh, shall we say, host more sleepovers?"

I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth, but whatever I'd been about to say was forever lost.

For that's when Bruni did it.

He took the plunge.

Straight down into the neckline of my dress.

I yelped, arms crossing over my bosom. Lea's eyes widened, "Motherfu-" He lunged forward, hands outstretched before him like he had every intention of going down in there after Bruni. Then Lea froze, seemed to think better of it and instead folded his arms together, shoving his hands into his armpits as he looked away. "You, uh…" he cleared his throat, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye, "...you okay?"

"Yeah. Just tickles a bit," I wrinkled my nose, trying not to squirm as I felt the little guy climbing around against my chest. Thankfully, it wasn't long before he moved over to start making his way down my sleeve. I gave my arm a gentle shake to help speed his progress along and eventually he came tumbling out into my palm.

"Sorry 'bout that," Lea scooped him back out of my hand into his, using the other to ruffle his hair with a tiny, bashful smile. "I know I said he was a flirt, but he's never been this brazenly forward before."

Shaking my head with a snerk, I said, "It's fine, really. Don't worry about it."

Walking back over to the terrarium, he turned a scowl onto the salamander. "And what do you have to say for yourself, young man?" Bruni just answered with a lizard grin, flicking his tongue out to lick his own eyeball. "Smug lil shit," Lea grumbled, setting him back down inside his home.

One corner of my lips twitching up, I turned to take another look around his room. Despite Lea's hasty tidying up, his carpet was still a disaster zone of shirts and other garments. As I began to carefully navigate it, I asked, "So how are we doing this?"

"Doing…?" I could hear the frown in his voice.

I looked back at him. "Sleeping arrangements?"

"Oh! That's easy!" Having now set the lid and lamps back into their rightful places, Lea walked towards me with his grin resurfacing. "You get the bed, I'll take the floor."

My eyelids drooped. "You can't sleep on the floor, that's ridiculous. It's your room."

"Exactly!" he started clearing the papers up off his comforter, gathering them all together and tucking them away inside one of the textbooks. "It's my room, so I'll sleep wherever I want in it! And tonight, the floor's looking pretty damn good!"

I huffed. "Enough with the chivalry already. I'll sleep on the floor."

He picked up his laptop and made his way over to a large mound of clothes. Oh wait. There was a desk hiding under there, or so I realized as soon as he started shoving all the shirts and whatnot aside. Placing the laptop down on top of it, he then shrugged back at me, "Hey, if that'll make ya happy, more power to ya. Doesn't change the fact that I will not be taking my siesta in that bed tonight."

A low harrumph in my throat. "Fine."

"Fine," he agreed, now opposite the bed from me as he hung his bag from a wall hook there. Then he squinted one eye at me, "So it's settled then. We're both sleeping on the floor. Like the couple of rational, mature, grown-ass adults that we are. While the perfectly good bed goes to waste. Cuz that makes total sense."

I shot him a deadpan look. "Alright, fine then. Bruni gets the bed."

He slapped his forehead, dragging his hand down his face with an exasperated laugh. "C'mon, El, will you just take the bed please? I won't be able to fall asleep if I know you're just curled up on the floor."

"Sounds like not my problem," I crossed my arms with a smirk. Oh-ho, that's right. I could be stubborn when I wanted to be.

"Woman! Just take the freaking bed before I throw you in the damn thing!" both his hands gestured in mild annoyance at said bed.

Scoffing, I turned my head to one side. "Please, it's the twenty-first century, your neanderthal tactics won't work on me."

Green eyes flashing, he said in a low, even voice, "They will if I make good on 'em."

My gaze narrowed on him now. "You wouldn't dare."

He bent forward, fists planted on the mattress as he gave me a tiny glare across it. "Wanna bet?"

My legs turned traitor and defected, sitting me down on the bed so quick, you would have missed the motion if you'd blinked.

"There now," his face immediately lit up like the first rays of sunlight at dawn. "Was that so hard?"

I made a little hmph in my throat, tucking my legs beside me as I smoothed my dress over my knees with as much dignity as I could muster. "I'll have you know that I chose of my own free will to take the bed tonight and it had nothing to do with any thinly veiled threats that may or may not have been made on your part." I unzipped my ankle boots, letting them fall to the carpet below with a couple of heavy thuds. "I mean, I am the guest after all, it's only proper etiquette that I sleep in the bed. I'm just making sure you're adequately performing your role as the host."

A soft snerk came from his nose as he kicked off his own shoes and spread his arms wide to give me a mock bow, "Well, thank you, Miss Manners, I dunno what I'd ever do without you."

"You're welcome," I sniffed lightly. It was nice of him to let me have this. I then felt the bed quake beneath me as Lea flopped down beside me, stretching out comfortably and cushioning his head with his arms. I blinked down at him. "...I'm sorry, did that conversation just end differently than I thought it did?"

He raised an eyebrow at me, "Hm?"

"Thought you were taking the floor."

"I am, but that's not until lights out. Right now, we're just chilling!" he beamed. But then his expression relaxed and he propped himself up slightly on his elbows, cocking his head at me. "This is okay, right?"

"Er…" I glanced away, gnawing on my bottom lip.

Yeesh, I seriously needed to grow up. This wasn't a big deal. Like, at all. So what if we were sitting in the same bed? Nothing to freak out about. I mean, sure, I'd never shared a bed with a guy before, not even my ex. Come to think of it, I'd never even been in a boy's bedroom before. But hey, there was a first time for everything. This would be fine. I would be fine.

"...yeah, it's okay," I finally responded. He frowned, not looking convinced. I put on my best brave smile and managed a tiny laugh, "Really, it's fine." Or at least it would be once we stopped talking about it. Wanting to move the conversation along to something else, I searched my brain for a new topic. "So… you and Saïx…" I drew my knees up, hugging them to my chest, "...do you always mess with each other like that?"

"Oh yeah, all the time," he chuckled, settling back down into his pillow and folding one arm back behind his head. "Nothing says you care like making the other person's life a constant living hell!"

Settling my chin down onto my knees, I snorted. "Remind me never to let you care about me."

"Too late!" he chirped. My eyeroll belied the tiny cartwheel my stomach was doing. "'Sides, all siblings are like that. I'm sure you and Anna have terrorized the crap outta each other more times than you can even count."

"Well yeah," I turned my head to look over at him, resting my ear to my legs instead, "but that was way back when we were children. We grew out of it a long time ago."

Lea grinned cheekily, "Oh really? I seem to recall a certain someone chasing her sister 'round the living room trying to straight up murder her dead not hardly more than a week ago."

Wow, had that really only been just last week? It felt like eons ago by this point. A soft noise of contempt huffed out through my nose, "Don't exaggerate. I didn't try to murder her."

"How did it go again? ...ah, I believe your exact words to her were, and I quote, 'dip you in liquid nitrogen, snap every frozen limb off your body one by one, and then I'll kill you.' That about sum it up?"

I pursed my lips to the right, "...there were extenuating circumstances."

"Heh," he stared up at the ceiling, "if ya say so."

I lifted my head back up, my arms loosening somewhat around my legs as I considered my next words carefully. "About Saïx… can I ask what happened?" Lea glanced back at me quizzically and I clarified, "I mean with…" I tapped a finger to the bridge of my nose.

"Oh, his scar?" he rolled over onto his side towards me, bracing his head in one hand. "Old battle wound from our time in the foster system. Same shithead who let us two numbskull brats play with a chainsaw. Negligent and abusive. Real winning combo there, huh?"

"You mean a foster parent did that to him? On purpose? That's terrible," I breathed, looking horrified.

"S'okay," he gave a one-shouldered shrug, then smirked wickedly. "I retaliated by burning his house down."

My eyes widened, "Did you really?"

Lea sighed, "Unfortunately, no, but not for lack of trying. Only managed to set a bed ablaze and blacken a few curtains before the fire department showed up."

I stared at him blankly. "I am just... simply amazed that you survived long enough to make it to adulthood. Either of you."

He blew out an amused pft through his teeth. "Yeah, Saïx and I were definitely prime candidates for the Darwin Awards growing up. Told ya, we were lil hellions forged straight from the fiery pits of El Diablo. Hey, speaking of Ol' Bullseye over there..." he trailed off as he suddenly sat himself up.

"Bullseye?" I asked, arching an eyebrow his way while watching him fold his legs beneath himself so he could stand on his knees atop the mattress.

"Ya know. Mr. X-Marks-The-Spot," he tacked on by way of explanation, abruptly shoulder-slamming into the wall behind us just above his pillows and making me jolt.

...the heck?

"...you mean Saïx?" I furrowed my brow, wincing as he followed it up by crashing his elbow against the wall next. "Aren't those nicknames a bit… mean?" My question was punctuated with another loud thump.

Seriously, what on earth…?.

"Nah, he likes it." Whack! "Knows they're terms of endearment." Bang! "Only from me though. Anyone else ever even so much as thought about calling him anything like that, I'd make sure next time they turned up would be in a bodybag." Whump! "'Sides, you should hear half the shit he calls me, especially when he's royally ticked." Thwack! "This one time, he-"

"Wait. Hold it. Stop," I held up my hands, eyes flicking back and forth between him and the wall. "...what exactly is it that you are doing?"

"Huh?" he stilled, blinking at me a couple times. "Oh this?" his shoulder rammed into the surface once more. "This is the wall I share with Saïx's room."

...well okay then, sure, that totally and one hundred percent cleared up my utter confusion and lack of comprehension.

Not.

"Alright," I said, stretching the word out. "And so…?"

"So he's come to expect a certain level of enthusiasm on my part whenever I'm entertaining a lady friend," Lea winked and clicked his tongue before once again striking the wall.

"Oh?" I frowned down at my hands. Then it clicked with another louder, "Oh!" Followed by a slower, more quiet, "Oh…" Cheeks warming now, I looked back over at him, "You mean you… that is, against the wall, you've… oh." A pause while my eyes shifted about in my awkwardness. "But wouldn't the headboard get in the-" I stopped, glancing back over my shoulder and answering my own question. "Oh… oh, I see. No headboard. Got it. How very, er..." I cleared my throat and ducked my head to my knees, muffling into them, "...very practical."

I heard him snerk as the beating the wall was taking continued. "You're funny when you're flustered, ya know that?"

My face cranked up the heat dial even further and I scowled.

If you listened closely, the signs of a very steady, very distinct rhythm to the pounding could be heard beginning to take shape.

...I needed to stop listening so closely.

My eyebrows knit together as I then remembered something. "Wait… didn't Saïx say something about noise canceling headphones?"

"Well yeah, so he's not hearing any of this, but he can still see whenever any of the crap on his shelves or any framed pictures or anything else that might be up against his side o' the wall shakes from the impact," he shrugged, halting to puff out a noisy breath and wipe his forehead with the back of his hand. Apparently, he was working up a sweat. Then he grinned brightly, "This is actually kinda fun! Wanna have a go at it?"

I shot him a flat look. "...I think I'm good, thanks."

"You sure?" Another slam. "It's actually pretty satisfying. One might even say cathartic. Got any pent-up aggression you gotta work out?" And another, this one taking the form of a punch. He immediately regretted that one, eliciting a pained hiss as he shook out his now reddening fingers.

"Yeah, no," I rapidly shook my head, "no pent-up aggression here. Fresh out." Insert weak chuckle at my lame joke that was neither funny nor an actual joke.

"Suit yourself," he laughed, smacking the wall hard with an open palm this time. Then his back snapped straight and his face lit up, "Oh yeah! Before I forget…" he pivoted to his left, reaching into his messenger bag he'd hung up earlier and rooting around in it.

I snorted, "Done already?"

"Just giving that wall a breather," he said, not looking up from his searching. "We've found some other surface to bear the brunt of all our lovemaking for now, but we'll probably be back to this one later."

Oh gosh. Way to go, mouth, you just had to ask, didn't you? Just when my cheeks had begun settling down too.

"Ah! Found it!" he triumphantly pulled something out of the bag. Flopping back down to once more lay flat on the bed beside me, he held it out towards me, "Pour vous, ma petite amie jolie."

I squinted at the booklet in his hand. Or more precisely, a catalog. "Twilight University?" I read the bold lettering as I reached out to take it, staring at the image on the cover of a handful of young adults gathered around in a small circle of desks and looking photogenically excited about education.

"Yup! It's the course listings for next semester at my college. Lookie here," he opened the booklet up, leaving it propped in my hands as he started thumbing through it quickly. "Ah, there!" he stopped on a page, resting his head on my shoulder as he pointed to one of several listings that had been circled here. "They offer a few different introductory drama classes ya might be interested in."

I blinked down at the catalog as vague memories of a conversation I'd had with Lea last time I was here to help him study started coming back to me. "...you remembered?" I asked quietly.

"'Course!" I could feel his cheek pull into a smile against my shoulder. "It seemed important to you, so how could I forget?"

Honestly? I myself had forgotten. But to be fair, I had had a lot on my mind the past couple weeks, what with suddenly having a boyfriend now (pretend or otherwise), trying to figure out how to make a proper show of being a girlfriend, and stressing out over the all too soon to come visit with my parents. Frankly, my life had been turned upside down as of late and had become the very definition of insanity. There had just quite simply been no time to think about childhood fantasies of singing and performing in musicals.

But I guess… right here, right now in Lea's room, I had a bit of a reprieve. I mean, it's not like there was anything exactly pressing at this very moment, nothing that couldn't wait until tomorrow at least. I suppose I had a few seconds I could spare to entertain the thought. It couldn't hurt anything…

"...so where is Twilight University exactly?" I stretched my legs out to lay flat on the mattress, crossing my ankles and resting the open booklet down in my lap. "Is it close to my apartment?"

He hummed low in thought. "Probably a bit too far if you're on foot. But maybe we could carpool there. And hey," he lifted his head to glance over at me, "I still got a free elective course or two that I need to take. I could enroll in the class with ya!"

I felt a grin tugging at one corner of my lips as I looked back down at the catalog, absently trailing my fingers down one of the circled paragraphs. "I think I'd like that…"

"Yeah?" he asked softly and for a second I thought I might have sensed him leaning in a little closer. But it must have just been in my head, for now he was pulling away to flop over onto his back on his side of the bed once again, making a small cough into his fist. "I, uh… talked to my friends too. The ones who run the local community theater. You're in luck! They're between shows at the moment and are actually gonna be holding auditions soon for their next one. Sometime this week, I think. It's a musical too!"

"Really?" I returned my gaze to him, closing the booklet but using a finger to hold the page. A sigh then escaped me as I worried my bottom lip between my teeth, "I don't know… I doubt I'm ready for anything like that."

Lea shook his head with a chuckle, "Ready for what? Just to talk to 'em? It's not like you actually hafta audition or anything. Nah, you can just head down, meet them, get some deets… maybe find out the where and the when so you can go and just watch other people tryout, ya know? Just get a feel for it, if you want."

He made a good point. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious. I could go and just ask some questions, that's all. Surely, there would be no harm in that. "Maybe…"

"Well if you do decide you wanna drop in for a lil chat with them, their day job is over at Halloween Town in the mall. They should both be on the clock there around noon tomorrow. Ask for Jack or Sally and just tell 'em I sent ya," he jabbed a thumb into his chest with a big grin, "got it memorized?"

"Jack or Sally… okay," I nodded, responding with a small smile of my own. "I might do that. Thanks, Lea."

"Always happy to be of service! Now," he hopped up off the bed and made his way over to one of his shelves that was pure anarchy incarnate, "whaddya think? You up for a movie?"

The corners of my eyes crinkled and I set the catalog aside on the nightstand. "I could be. What are the options?"

He rubbed his chin, scrutinizing the mess crammed into the rack before pulling out a couple DVD cases, one from the top shelf and the other from somewhere in the middle. He held them up in either hand for me, "I'm thinking either Sixteen Candles or The Labyrinth. Thoughts?"

I looked between the two choices. Then my eyes scanned about the room and I frowned. "I'm thinking it's going to be hard to watch either of them without a TV."

"Without a-?" he blinked a couple times, looking over to his right. Then he sighed, "Hang on a sec," as he tossed the movies down onto the foot of the bed and made his way over to another towering pile of clothes against the wall directly across the room from his bed. "Watch and be amazed as I make a flat screen appear outta thin air in three… two…" he whipped the garments aside with a flourish, revealing the television beneath, "Ta-da!"

"Ah," I gave a polite clap and settled more comfortably down into his pillows, "I stand corrected. Though who needs movies when we have your amazing wizardry to keep us entertained?"

He scratched the back of his head, "Heh, it'd be a short magic show. 'Fraid I just got the one trick up my sleeve."

"Too bad." I paused, eyeing the DVD cases. "Make it a double feature?"

He snapped his fingers and snatched them both back up.

"Girl after my own heart. Pure genius."

Author's Note: Ah, yet another classic cliché for the books: our couple encounters one room, one bed for the night xD Also, fun fact: I started out this chapter stumped for what they should be talking about over dinner. Then I asked my bestie, who simply said: "gummi ships." And I just laughed it off at first, all "naw, that wouldn't make sense for this AU." But then it churned in my mind for a few minutes and I was like "wait… no… I think I can make this work…" And thus the Global Union for Multigalactic Mobility Investigation aka GUMMI Space Program aka NASA rip-off was born xD And further thus, Lea being an alien conspiracy-nut JUST for the sake of pissing of his space-loving half-bro was born xP Anyhoo! For those of you who haven't seen Frozen 2 yet (for shame, it's SO good, I demand you go out and watch it THIS INSTANT), Bruni the salamander is from that! He's a fire spirit in the movie with legit fire powers, so I got excited to give the fire boi a fire lizard for a pet! Also, maybe you can start to see the inklings of actual plot starting to sneak back into this story xD Slowly, we'll get back on course, but not before at least one more hijinks-y misadventure takes place… hehehe…

What does the next chapter hold in store for out couple? What new challenges could their budding fake relationship face? Is Elsa really going to pursue any sort of acting class or community theater? Will Lea ever follow his realtor aspirations he seemed so passionate about? Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

#kingdom hearts #frozen #elsa #axel #fanfiction #lea #fanfic #kingdom hearts fanfiction #frozen fanfiction #kh fanfiction #kh fanfic #frozen fanfic #kingdom hearts fanfic #axelsa #fluff #romcom #slow burn #kh3 #my writing #ice cream and fire oven pizza #rare pair #crossover pairing #humor #snark #fake dating au

[dreamcatcherfication]

Ghosts Are Just as Real as You and Me - Part 4

READING GLASSES CATHY PARR RISES!

*clears throat* Well then. Chapter four, never thought I’d make it this far. This is actually the longest chapter yet, reaching about 3250 words. Here we get to jump around and see a little bit of everyone including (what anon asked me about a while ago) Duo Moms Aragon and Jane. This chapter escalates from happy to sad to oh no pretty quickly, so I hope you all enjoy that as much as I did. Sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors, my brother was performing ritualistic sacrifices in the living room.

Writing Masterpost

If you want to send a request or a prompt, my inbox is always open! I publish a story at 8:00 AM PST everyday, so I’m always in need of new ideas (now featuring random asks). If you want to be tagged in my works, just let me know and I’ll be sure to tag you!

Prompts | More Prompts | The Trifecta of Prompts | Random Asks

Trigger Warnings: Threats of violence, Henry VIII

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

A few days passed with all the queens waiting anxiously for the storm to hit, but life went on as normally as it had before Henry showed up. All the queens became hesitant, unsure of how to support each other when Henry’s reincarnation was uncharted territory. Eventually the tension became too much and Aragon approached Jane before breakfast one morning. “Jane, how would you like to go out for coffee?”

“What?” Jane furrowed her eyebrows. “But I have to make breakfast for the girls, it’s the only time we all still eat together.”

Wincing Aragon put a hand on the countertop. “Well yes, but… I was thinking that if you and I take Kitty out for coffee and muffins this morning -”

Jane caught on to what Aragon was saying. “We’ll be able to get her mind off of everything. You know what Catherine, I actually like that idea.”

Sighing in relief, Catherine moved away from the table and towards the stairs. “Will you finish making breakfast for the others if I go and wake up Kit?”

“One step ahead of you!” Jane called as she flipped some bacon already cooking. Turning around, Aragon made her way up to the second floor and across the way to Kit’s room. Kit was never the last to wake up, but she was never the first either. Chances were she would be shut in her room listening to music or watching television, waiting until Jane called her down for breakfast.

Knocking on the door, Aragon listened until she heard Kit’s voice. “Who is it?” came from within the room, muffled through the door.

“Aragon.”

A hum of confirmation came from Kit, and Aragon entered the room. “Is breakfast ready?” Kit asked, her phone in her hand as she turned off her music.

“About that,” Aragon started, then immediately regretted it when she saw the way Kit’s face dropped. “Jane and I wanted to take you out for coffee and muffins instead today. We thought it’d be nice to get out of the house a bit.”

Eyes lighting up, Kit scrambled off the bed and shot Aragon with the most precious smile on Earth. “Why’d you say it like it’s a bad thing, of course I’ll come with you two!” Exhaling, Aragon couldn’t help the grin that grew on her face at Kitty’s enthusiasm. Lately the girl had been so down on herself that seeing her back to even a sliver of her enthusiastic self was enough for Aragon to feel proud of herself for her coffee idea.

The two of them made their way down the stairs to where Jane was setting out plates for the other queens. Cathy was already at the table with a book in her hands and her reading glasses on. Anna was out on her morning run, sure to return later, and Anne was still in her room sleeping (like she always was). Glancing up, Cathy watched as the three other queens pulled on their shoes and got ready to leave. “Have fun out there you three,” she called, turning the page of her novel.

“Do you want us to bring you anything back?” Aragon asked her God-daughter.

Pondering the offer for a second, Cathy shrugged. “If they have hazelnut muffins, could you grab me one?”

“Sure,” Aragon replied. Jane chuckled, realizing how domestic the exchange was, but she didn’t complain. Kit tugged at her hand and looked pointedly at the door, anxious to get going. It was a change to see Kit so carefree, but it was obvious the girl was trying to push away her doubts. There was still the bit of hesitation before she grabbed Jane’s hand and the cringing when either of the queens spoke too loudly, but Kit was trying. Neither Jane nor Aragon were afraid of coddling Kit when she showed her strength in working to overcome her own problems. In fact, it was a very welcome sight for the queens who had begun to worry.

Jane was the one driving, with Aragon in the passenger seat and Kitty in the back. To a passerby they might’ve looked like a family, and although none of them voiced it, they all had the thought cross their minds. “Which shop are we going to?” Kitty asked, fiddling with her phone without turning it on.

“Coffee and Creme, it’s the bakery down the street,” Jane answered, making a left turn at the intersection.

Kit gasped. “Oh I love their chocolate chip muffins, they’re always so warm.”

Chuckling, Aragon added, “Well we can get you one when we’re there.”

“Really! Jane never lets me eat chocolate in the morning,” Kit leaned forward in her seat. Jane shot Aragon a subtle glare, causing the woman to mouth sorry in response.

But it made Kitty happy, and that was the goal of the outing, so Jane relented. “Just this once, okay Kit? And don’t let us catch you telling Anne about this, or else she’ll never shut up about it.”

“My lips are sealed,” Kitty mimed zipping her lips and throwing away the key.

As Jane pulled up to the shop, she groaned when she realized the only parking spot was on the other side of the street. “Alright, you girls hop out and go wait in line while I park. Catherine if you could order for me-”

“I know your order by heart,” Kit cut in, a proud smile on her face.

The two older queens felt smiles grow on their faces without any permission. “Well then, I think Kitty’s got it down pretty well,” Aragon shrugged.

Getting out of the car, Aragon poked her head back in. “I’ll be inside in just a moment, you go ahead with Kitty,” Jane assured.

“You be quick Seymour,” Aragon ordered in a faux-stern voice. Rolling her eyes goodnaturedly, Jane pulled away from the side of the shop and drove to the end of the street. Making a legal u-turn, Jane found the open parking spot on the opposite side of the road and pulled into it. Getting out of the car, Jane made sure to lock the doors before moving to cross the street.

She froze, making eye contact with a man right next to the bakery. It was undeniably Henry, regardless of the different clothes he was wearing. He wasn’t moving, just watching Jane from where he stood. Cold fear gripped Jane’s heart as she was unable to move. Jane blinked multiple times, hoping it was only a trick of the light, but Henry remained where he stood. Taking a step forward, Jane was about to cross the street when a large bus passed in front of her.

The queen jumped back, jerking herself back into reality. Looking at her surroundings, Jane let the noises of the busy street filter back into her mind. Returning her gaze to where Henry was standing, Jane wasn’t surprised to see him gone. Why would he stick around longer than to make sure Jane knew he was watching? Henry was playing a psychological game, and Jane wouldn’t fall for it this time. Not when she had Kit and Catherine, Anna and Cathy and Anne to protect. 

The bell above the bakery door rang when Jane stepped in the shop, her entrance greeted with a “Welcome!” from the peppy barista. Shooting a smile to the barista, Jane made her way over to Kit and Aragon who were seated at a corner table. Kit was happily munching on a giant chocolate muffin with a frappuccino in front of her. Normally Jane would disapprove of all the sugar, but today was an exception. In front of Catherine was a simple cup of coffee with milk and some sugar.

And at the empty third seat for Jane was her order, exactly as she always got it. It consisted of one of the bakery’s shortbread cookies cut in the shape of a heart with cinnamon sprinkled over the top. There was a piping mug of chamomile tea resting next to it, the tea bag still in the drink, just as Jane always had it. Even though Jane had come to the bakery with Kitty multiple times before, it still warmed her heart that the teen remembered her order.

That warmth disappeared when Jane once again reminded herself of the encounter outside the bakery. Clearly, Henry was trying to mess with them, get to them mentally instead of physically. Withholding information from the queens could cause a lot of conflict but, Jane reasoned, it would cause more harm to tell them than to hide it. She couldn’t let the fear return to Kit’s eyes, the fear she and Aragon were trying so hard to ward off. Opening her mouth, Jane attempted to speak, but couldn’t get any words out.

“Jane, is there something on your mind?” Aragon asked, her grin warm and inviting.

There was no way Jane could ruin this picture perfect moment with Kit and Aragon by telling them what she had seen. Instead, Jane shook her head and sat down in the empty seat. “Not at all. Just glad we’re all here together.”

On the other side of town, Anna wasn’t on her morning jog through the park. Anyone who was used to seeing her wouldn’t suspect anything amiss, she had probably just cut her run short. But Anna would have to postpone her morning run for the time being because she had more important places to be. Instead of being out in the park, reveling in the sunlight, Anna was plotting. Plotting every possible way to kill Henry before he could even make another move on Kit or any of the queens.

She had no idea how she would do it, but Anna was going to track Henry down and get to him first. She couldn’t tell any of the other queens for fear they would disapprove or in case Henry was listening (there was so little privacy in the modern world), so Anna only had the companionship of her own mind. 

Her first order of business was signing up at a local boxing arena in order to get fighting experience. It wasn’t the most desirable sport, and Anna much preferred running and weightlifting - non contact sports, thank you very much - but she was willing to do anything in order to increase her chances of winning a fight against Henry.

One of the first things her instructors taught her was that it wasn’t being the biggest or the strongest that made you the winner, it was your skill and endurance. Anna would never be stronger than Henry, that was a given, but if she trained enough, her hope was that she would be able to take him down when she found him. He was slow and fat and probably didn’t have any experience. Anna was young and lean and training, the odds were against him.

In the days since Kit’s confession, Anna had been training as hard and as often as she could, gearing up for a fight that could come at any time. It was on this particular morning when an instructor pulled her to the side. The woman had a high ponytail and must’ve been in her mid twenties, but her muscles were ripped and she clearly had experience. Unable to remember her name, Anna resorted to referring to the woman as “you”, trying to get the conversation over so she could get back to training. “Why are you doing this?” the instructor asked simply, no lead up or extra commentary.

“What do you mean?”

The woman watched a bead of sweat drip down Anna’s forehead. “Why are you working so hard? You showed up less than a week ago and you’ve already advanced faster than anyone else here. So what’s your motivation?”

“I don’t have to tell you that,” Anna said defensively, flexing her hands in the tape wrapped around them.

The woman shrugged, unbothered. “True, you don’t. But sometimes sharing motivations makes it easier to see reason. To pace yourself. The best solution isn’t always working as hard as possible all the time.”

Anna scoffed and ignored the advice. “Yeah, well not all of us have time. If you’ll excuse me,” Anna pushed past the woman and moved back to her punching bag.

“Is it someone in your life?” The woman called. Anna stopped with her fist in the air, about to swing at the bag. “So it is,” the instructor continued, noticing Anna’s hesitation.

“Stop trying to get into my head, okay, it’s not gonna work,” Anna hissed.

The instructor rolled her tongue in her mouth before making a clicking sound. “Maybe you’re trying to protect someone you care about?” Once again, Anna hesitated and cursed herself when the woman’s eyes lit up. “You’re trying to be their night in shining armor.”

“You have no right to violate my privacy -”

“But why? What is threatening them that you feel the need to work so hard?” The woman kept pushing deeper and deeper, hitting all of Anna’s soft spots.

Clenching her fists, Anna swung at the punching bag and watched it go careening in the opposite direction. It wasn’t the most impressive punch, but the amount of anger behind it drained Anna. “Henry. His name is Henry and he has a lot of history with us.”

“Ex lover?”

Anna chuckled ruefully. “Yeah, something like that.” Breathing in deeply, Anna steadied the punching bag. “She’s dealing with a lot, and if I let him get to her again, I’m afraid she’ll break and it’ll be all my fault.”

“Again.” It wasn’t a question, more like an invitation to elaborate.

It wasn’t that Anna didn’t realize she was confiding in a stranger, it was more the comfort of knowing that she could say anything and the instructor would have no idea. “It was my fault the first time, it can’t be my fault the second time. I - I…”

“You love her too much to see her get hurt.”

“Yeah. Yeah I do.”

On a regular basis, Cathy tended to be pretty concerned about Anne. With her constant shenanigans and chaotic nature, it was hard not to be worried about what trouble the beheaded queen would get into next. But right now, Cathy wasn’t concerned because of what Anne was doing. No, she was concerned about what Anne wasn’t doing. Ever since Anne had gone to her room after talking with Cathy a few nights back, she had been practically AWOL.

Sure, Anne came down to snag food, but then she would immediately disappear back into her room in the attic. Cathy had seen her come from Kit’s room a day earlier, but the strange part was that Kit had been downstairs with Jane. Anne wasn’t making any sounds, but she didn’t seem to be in any kind of distress or slump.

In conclusion, something was wrong with Anne Boleyn, but for the life of her, Cathy Parr could not figure it out. That’s why when Cathy heard someone leaving later that day, she decided to investigate, praying it was Anne. Sure enough, luck was on her side and Anne’s coat was missing from its hanger.

Noting that she was the only person in the house, Cathy realized she had free reign to satisfy her curiosity. Acknowledging how dangerous her curiosity could be, Cathy threw caution out the window and headed directly for Anne’s room. She needed something, any kind of clue as to why Anne was suddenly acting as if the rest of the queens were infected with some deadly disease. Or maybe she’s the one infected, Cathy thought to herself. 

Stopping in front of Anne’s door, Cathy felt her conscience kick in. Is it really okay to violate Anne’s privacy like this? Cathy knew the answer was no and if Anne found out, she’d be pissed, but in that moment Cathy knew she’d never again have this opportunity to - for lack of a better word - snoop.

Opening the door, Cathy made her way into the room. Clothes were strewn about mingled with trash and food crumbs from Anne’s meals. The bed was unmade (of course) and there was an assortment of random items (kazoos, teddy bears, a pair of heelys) in every corner. There was a nightstand next to Anne’s bed, the only thing untouched by all the chaos. Wading through the mass of junk on the floor until she stood in front of the desk, Cathy observed her prize.

It was a journal. That was the last thing Cathy expected Anne to have, but she picked it up anyway. Her reading glasses were resting on her head, so Cathy pulled them down and opened the book. The first page was a doodle (it was surprisingly intricate, Cathy noted) of… herself? The sketch was clearly Cathy, her arm above her head as she slept on the queens’ couch, her glasses askew. Blushing, Cathy read the caption of the picture. Gold star for Cathy Parr, an angel I see.

Frantically, flipping the page, Cathy tried to smother the erratic beating of her heart. She could squeal later about Anne’s drawing. The next page was another sketch, this time of Kitty with a water gun. Cathy remembered the incident over the summer when the queens were out having a water war. The teams were Cathy, Anne, and Anna versus Aragon, Jane, and Kitty. The fight had gotten down to the very end when Kit sprayed Anne, only for Anna to secure a win for her team by taking down Kit. The memory brought a warm feeling to Cathy’s chest, making her smile with a nostalgic fondness.

Flipping further into the book, Cathy came across some of the more recent entries. These ones didn’t make any sense. They were nonsense words like “Double” and “Envelope” and “Instructions”. There was no rhyme or reason to any of the words, and if anything would have been coherent, Anne had scribbled it out with a black pen.

The final page that was written in made more sense. He made it easy for me, a five step plan. I don’t want to help him or do anything he says but Kitty… I went into her room the other day. I was hoping I could find any cameras or wiretaps (I looked it up, they’re easy to get), but there were none. The only choice I have is following instructions. Especially those from the envelope.

Eyes widening as a chill overcame her body, Cathy opened the drawer of the nightstand. Inside was a single, white envelope with Anne’s name on it. Reaching for it, Cathy’s hand closed around the edge when the door downstairs opened with a loud bang!

Releasing the envelope, Cathy closed the drawer and practically sprinted out of Anne’s room. On her way downstairs, Cathy did her best to compose herself so to appear that she had not been snooping. Hanging her coat by the door was Anne, an unmarked bag in her hands. “Hi Anne,” Cathy said, eyeing the bag.

Unaware, Anne gave Cathy a smile that normally would make the girl swoon. “Hi Cathy,” she replied, walking over to the other queen. Anne lifted a hand and Cathy frowned in confusion, only to be answered as Anne carefully pushed the forgotten reading glasses up her nose where they had been slipping off.

“Are you going to hide from us again?” Cathy asked, channeling her passive aggressiveness.

Sighing Anne gave the other queen a forced smile. “I guess I am,” she said before disappearing back to her room. 

---------------------------------------

Tag List: @obliviousasheck

@theatergirl06

#six the musical fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #six the musical fic #six fanfiction #six fanfic #this fic is getting awfully interesting #like even i don't know what's gonna happen next #parrlyn #cathy parr's reading glasses #yes that's a tag now #i wanted to have fluff but this is why we can't have nice things #anna's a badass #but i headcanon she doesn't really like fighting #she seems like a pacifist who gets really pissed off sometimes #and then there's some more of #duo moms #that's what i call them #duo moms aragon and jane #and their happy daughter kitty #literally only two characters haven't made bad decisions #watch out aragon and kitty you're next #i love reading glasses cathy parr so much #ghosts are just as real as you and me #part four #cathy is whipped for anne #and that's a FACT

[justaghostingon]

Merfolk are Overrated

Chapter 4: To The Shore

Kodya’s class takes a fieldtrip, and it goes about as well as can be expected when you let three curious mermaids loose in a general store.

Read on ao3 here https://archiveofourown.org/works/25041904/chapters/62957779

Or below the cut

As the weeks rolled by, a pattern began to emerge. Kodya would wake up early and go out fishing, just like before. Only now three bright-colored heads would rise from the water to greet him as soon as he cut the engine, the Kid at the forefront with some small gift to appease Kodya. He would still set out the nets, like always. But now a mermaid or two would be there to try and help. Occasionally one, usually Red, would get stuck and need to be cut out. Kodya would still eat his lunches out on the water like always, but now those lunches would be shared by three mermaids chattering and snacking themselves. Even Fluffy would mime out an opinion or two. Then after lunch, Kodya would start teaching.

Gyrus was, by far, the best student Kodya had ever seen. It took him almost no time to learn basic math, and soon he was calculating faster and with greater accuracy than Kodya himself could. Kodya had once tried to explain how budgeting worked to illustrate why his nets were so important, and by that evening Gyrus had completely reorganized his budget to the point where he was saving more money than he’d thought was possible. In all honesty, Kodya was pretty sure Gyrus was some kind of super genius, and found he was rapidly running out of things to teach him.

If he’d only known the Kid, Kodya is pretty sure that he would have chalked up Gyrus’ super-intelligence to just a siren thing. But alas, it appeared that great age did not translate to skill with numbers, as both Fluffy and Red were leagues behind. Not that they were terrible, Kodya begrudgingly noted that if they had been to elementary school together they both have had higher grades than he did. But they needed a slower pace, and often Kodya found he had to slow down the lesson to accommodate them.

If teaching them all math had been their only goal, Kodya would have tried giving Fluffy and Red more class hours while sending the Kid off to do homework or something. But neither Fluffy or Red showed any particular interest in putting extra work into improving their own skills. They’d put up a show to support Gyrus of course, but Fluffy’s constant fidgeting and Red’s frustrated growls made it very clear they did not really want to be there. This in turn made Gyrus get distracted trying to explain and keep them interested, meaning he didn’t advance either. Eventually Kodya just got tired of it and told them to go out and help fish every other afternoon, while he focused on more advanced material with Gyrus.

This they happily accepted, only attending class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and leaving  Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays to the Kid and Kodya. Kodya would never admit it, but these days were his favorite. He’d stay out way longer than he usually did, just to keep whatever conversation the Kid inevitably dragged him into going. He hadn’t enjoyed another person’s company this much since he’d met Nephthys.

Nephthys noticed the change in behavior, commenting about how mopey he got while away from the sea, and giggling that he might have gotten a boyfriend he didn’t tell her about. Kodya was quick to deny this, but more than willing to talk about whatever trouble Red, Fluffy, and the Kid got into, under the pretense of being pesky dolphins of course. Such stories would appease her curiosity, and she rarely went beyond light teasing as she watched Kodya inevitably perk up as the weekend drew to a close and Monday neared.

It was on one such Monday that Kodya finally worked up the courage to ask Gyrus a question that had been weighing on him for a while.

“So how old are you anyways?” Kodya said, eyes on the white board as he wrote out a few problems he’d created based off of his and Nephthys’s shopping lists and an old book about store finance.

“Probably around your age,” Gyrus shrugged, to absorbed in his work on the problems to notice the way Kodya had shut the book to look at him sharply.

“And how old do you think I am?” Kodya pressed.

“I don’t know, 200s right?” Gyrus glanced up at him, and finally seemed to realize something was wrong. “Are you older?” He offered, looking embarrassed, and not at all like a being who was most certainly not a kid.

“I’m 24,” Kodya stated, voice flat. Now what am I going to call you? He mentally despaired.

“24?” Gyrus’ mouth fell open. “But you can’t be! You’re clearly an adult!”

“Of course I’m an adult!” Kodya crossed his arms, “I’ve been an adult for six years!”

“18?” Gyrus’ tail twitched in agitation. “Humans reach maturity so young? How long do you live?”

Kodya shifted uncomfortably at his tone, feeling slightly offended. He wasn’t the weird one here. “We live to be around 80? Some a bit less and some a bit longer, you know, a normal amount.”

“That’s so short,” Gyrus shook his head. “I can’t even…how can you stand it?”

“Hey!” Kodya scowled down at Gyrus, “Most creatures live way shorter life spans, so I’d say you living so long is the weird one here. We do just fine with 80 years thanks.”

Gyrus placed his head in his hands. “Every time I think I’m beginning to understand humans, I find out there’s so much more I don’t know.” He looked very small then, and forlorn. Kodya felt his anger dissipate.

“Look, Kid,” he said, drawing the last word on his tongue to see if Gyrus would notice and protest. He didn’t, and so Kodya plowed on. “You’re doing fine. You’ve learned everything I taught you way quicker than anyone I’ve ever seen.”

“Not everything,” Gyrus sighed as he picked up his whiteboard. “I can do the calculations, sure, but I don’t really get all the words. Like this one,” he pointed to a problem, “35 cents for bananas. What are bananas? I know they must be food from how you talk about them, but I have no idea what they look like. And this!” He jabbed a finger at one of the words, “Bug spray! How do you get something as small as a bug to spray anything?”

“Slow down Kid,” Kodya interrupted and Gyrus deflated at the sound of his voice. “I can bring you a banana and bug spray if you want.”

“But even if you did, there would inevitably be something else I can’t picture or misunderstand. I just wish,” he sighed again, pulling his emerald tail close around his body. “I just wish I could see it all for myself.”

His lower lip started to tremble, and Kodya felt his heart clench at the sight. “Maybe you could,” he said, and then instantly wanted to hit himself for promising something so impossible. But Gyrus was looking at him with wide, watery eyes like Kodya just promised him the moon, and Kodya couldn’t bring himself to deny him anything.

----------------

The old shed opened with the loud grating noise of rusted hinges. Kodya winced slightly at the sound, before pushing forward into the crowded space before him. Nephthys had said the inflatable kiddie pool was just in here the last time she’d seen it. But that had been nearly seven years ago, back when she’d tried to teach him how to swim in exchange for teaching her written English. Those lessons had not lasted very long, in part because Kodya was much less gracious as a student than as a teacher, and in part because the drowning incident had still been fresh in his mind.

He shoved aside The fishing rod he’d gotten for his Mom at fifteen, still as clean and unused as the day he’d bought it, and some of her old Navy Seal camping gear. Where was it? It should be with the practical stuff…

Something bright and pink caught his eye, the faded plastic tucked quietly in a corner behind some old storage bins. Kodya waded over towards it and gave it a gentle tug, pulling out of another box labeled POOL in his mother’s loopy handwriting. He pulled the cumbersome plastic out, and stopped.

There was something else in the bin, soft against his hands. Weird. He couldn’t think of anything pool related that was soft, and his mother was usually so organized. He looked down to see a strange fur wrap below. It was plain brown, with faded spots making a star pattern along it. One edge was jagged and sharp, with bits of leather skin poking out below it. Kodya ran a finger down the edge, and wondered if someone had taken a blunt knife to it.

The plastic of the pool rustled against the boxes as Kodya shifted, drawing his attention back towards it. He shut the pool box with a snap. Whatever it was, it didn’t concern him. His mother could sort it out on her own time. He had a mermaid’s day to make.

---------

“I’m back!” Kodya called as two brightly colored heads appeared in the water. “And you’ll never believe what I brought for you today!”

Gyrus beamed at him, and Kodya took a minute to examine that lovely smile and enjoy how it was all for him. “We’ve got something to show you too!” the Kid exclaimed, “Do you want to see it?”

“Sure Kid,” Kodya allowed himself a slight twitch of his lips, wondering what seaglass or shells Gyrus had brought for him today. “But I’ll bet mine’s better.”

Red and the Kid exchanged glances, before Red sighed. “Just so we are clear,” she said, “I do not fully approve of this idea.” So saying, she dove into the water, and in her place rose a single white corner, then another and another, until there was a great white box with a handle sticking out the side.

Kodya blinked. “What is that supposed to be?” He asked, squinting at the sides. Something about the faded pink stickers looked familiar. Was that ice cream?

“It’s a box with wheels!” Gyrus proclaimed, gesturing to the suspiciously familiar object. Kodya raised an eyebrow, and the Kid blushed. “Lift it higher!” Gyrus hissed, and the white box raised above the water, allowing for both the wheels and Fluffy’s head to come into view.

“See?” Gyrus’ purple orbs practically glowed. Beside him Fluffy beamed and even Red looked a bit smug.

“I see,” said Kodya, feeling somewhat baffled. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

“That’s the best part!” the Kid’s green tail surfaced to slash the top of the water excitedly. It went straight into Tori’s face and she sputtered, causing one end to dip back into the water. “This box holds water! Without it coming out! If you put me in this I could come with you to shore!”

Well that diminished Kodya’s surprise a bit. He felt a bit hurt. He’d put a lot of thought into his kiddie pool. But he shook it off in favor of squinting at the white cart. It was looking more and more familiar the more he stared.

“Is that,-” he frowned, “- Oli’s ice cream cart?!” Oli’s ice cream was a staple on the beach in the summer months, and he’d recently upgraded to owning a portable cart that he employed Anan to push around and increase business. But Anan had lost it under what he claimed was a sudden storm. Kodya narrowed his eyes. “Did you hypnotize Anan into giving that up?”

“We didn’t hypnotize anyone,” Red sniffed. “This was a gift.”

“We just asked, and he handed it right over!” Gyrus added. “He didn’t even stop to question why we were all in the water!”

Fluffy batted her eyelashes and then threw Kodya a wink, and Kodya had the sneaking suspicion that they had used a different method of coercion instead. But hey, he shrugged. Oli hadn’t held that much of a grudge, and it was high time Anan learned a lesson about not giving in to the whims of every pretty girl that smiled at him.

“So what was it you brought for us?” Gyrus asked innocently, and all three mermaids' attention snapped to him.

“Oh,” Kodya rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I kinda brought something similar, only bigger, and with no wheels.”

“Really?” Gyrus beamed. “That’s great! Now we can all go on land!” All? Kodya opened his mouth to protest. He could hide maybe one mermaid, but three?

“That would set some of my fears to rest,” Red said, sounding appeased. “I did not want to leave Gyrus to wander this strange world without protection.”

Fluffy began bobbing up and down in the water, splashing wildly with the ice cream cart to show her enthusiasm.

I’m not getting out of this, Kodya realized with a sinking dread as all three mermaids celebrated around him. I need a plan.

--------------

The plan was simple. Really. Early in the morning, Kodya would meet the three mermaids at the docks. There was a rainstorm scheduled for Thursday, perfect for both providing cover and keeping the mermaids wet. Kodya would load the three of them into the back of his truck, where they would climb into the kiddy pool. Then Kodya would drive really slowly into town, pull out the white cart, now covered in a blanket to pass as a wheelchair, and wheel each mermaid through the store. Simple.

The first part went off without a hitch. It was indeed raining on Thursday morning, the icky, thick, constant rain that made it very uncomfortable to be outside for long periods of time. When Kodya arrived on the dock, he found it deserted. Perfect.

“Guys?” he hissed as he scanned the dark waves. “It’s time.” Three multicolored heads rose from below the dock to greet him.

“That took too long,” Red grumbled. “I had half thought ye’d grown cold feet.”

“It took longer to fill the pool than I expected,” Kodya sighed. “Now come on.” He extended his arms towards Fluffy, who was closest.

Red batted his hand away. “I’ll go first,” she snapped. “It is my duty as champion of the queen to ensure the safety of the rest of the pod.” Kodya rolled his eyes, but complied, hauling her surprisingly light body up into the air. Sylvia went next, eagerly wrapping strong arms around his neck as he lifted her up into the truck too.

And then at last, it was Gyrus’ turn. Kodya reached down for him, determined not to react. It was just a simple assist after all. Kodya could feel both warm skin and slick scales as he carefully lifted him into the air. Gyrus’ arms wrapped around Kodya’s neck, pulling close to Kodya’s chest and soaking his already wet shirt further.

Gyrus ran a curious hand through his hair, playing with the hair tie in the back. “You’re hair feels so strange dry,” He murmured, lavender orbs hypnotic. Their faces were inches apart, and Kodya froze. They hadn’t been this close since the day they met, when Gyrus had called him perfect, and the mere memory sent Kodya’s whole face alight. Gyrus gave the slightest of frowns as he ran gentle fingers through Kodya’s hair. “What’s wrong?”

“If ye are quite finished,” Tori’s loud voice broke through Kodya’s haze, “the sooner we start this, the sooner we can get back to the sea.”

Kodya yelped, placing Gyrus hastily in the back of the truck and ducking his head as he hurried to the front. Still bright red, he gripped the back of the wheel and took several deep breaths. He needed to focus damn it. Or this whole trip would end in disaster.

Disaster…the various, horrible ends of this hair brained scheme were enough to bring him back to reality. If he messed up here, the mermaids could end up in an aquarium, or worse, dissected. He took a deep breath and put the truck in drive. By the time he’d reached the store, the image of Gyrus’ face so close to his own was properly suppressed in the back of his mind.

---------

Step two turned out to have its own set of problems. Namely that as soon as he put the truck in park, he found the mermaids arguing in the back about who would go in first.

“It will be I,” Red’s arms were crossed. “It’s my job to keep you safe, there’s no point in arguing.”

“You don’t even want to see the store!” Gyrus scowled. “Nor do you know as much about humans as I do! And besides,” he crossed his arms, “I’ll be with Kodya so there’s no need to protect me!” He glanced to the side. “Right Sylvia?”

Fluffy threw up her hands in a clear signal of, keep me out of this!

“What’s the problem now?” Kodya massaged the space between his brow. Both Red and the Kid turned on him.

“I am going first, and that is final,” Red snapped at the same time Gyrus said,

“It isn’t fair!”

Kodya sighed, considering. On the one hand, letting Red go first would strengthen the fragile trust they had formed. On the other hand, the Kid was far, far too old to be babied like Red wanted, and going first with Red meant introducing her to Alistair. Kodya squared his shoulders. He’d rather avoid whatever fight she’d pick for as long as possible.

“It’s the Kid’s trip, he gets to go first,” he said, and Red scowled while Gyrus lit up.

“Alright!” Gyrus pulled himself to the edge of the truck to avoid the angry Red. “Help me down and let’s get going!”

“Not so fast kid!” Kodya scolded. “I’ve got to get the wheelchair ready first.” He pulled out the ice cream cart and opened the lid, revealing the cold water he’d taken from his hose the night before.

Carefully, he picked Gyrus up again, this time avoiding eye contact, and plopped him inside. Access water flooded over the edge and distracted the Kid while Kodya tried to hide his blush. To distract himself, he fiddled with the lid, wondering how it would close without bothering the top sticking out.

“This is so exciting!” Gyrus turned to Kodya, eyes shining. Kodya’s hands tightened on the lid at the sight, and a crack came from underneath them. Both Gyrus and Kodya looked down at the now unattached lid. Well, Kodya thought. There goes that problem.

The blanket was thrown over the top to hide the water and the faded ice cream stickers, and the makeshift wheelchair was ready to go. There was just one thing missing. “Here.” Kodya pulled out an old shirt and handed it to Gyrus. “Humans can’t go in stores without full clothing,” he explained, trying to make it seem normal and not like he’d spent hours agonizing over which one of his old shirts to give to Gyrus.

“Thank you,” Gyrus murmured, pulling the bright yellow shirt, specifically chosen to match the yellow tips of his tail, over his head. “Yellow is my favorite color.” Kodya shrugged as casually as he could, but tucked that little piece of information away in his brain.

“Time to go,” he said, stepping behind the cart pushing it towards the door.

---------

As Kodya predicted, Gyrus loved the store. He found everything about it fascinating. From the food to the overpriced towels and swimwear for tourists. Kodya thought he would explode when he found the nets Kodya usually bought and recognized them. He wanted to know how everything worked, what it all did, and why Kodya would or wouldn’t buy it. The towels in particular fascinated him, as he had known humans hated to be too wet, but he’d never realized what a big deal it was until he saw all the different patterns and colors. He was quite disappointed when Kodya broke it to him that the colors and patterns were purely decorative, and didn’t hold any significance at all.

Eventually they got down to business. Kodya walked Gyrus through his grocery list, explaining what each item looked like and what it did. Gyrus seemed to have memorized the prices, and was more than eager to read off the numbers and comment on cheaper options available. Kodya would then have to justify his choice, usually because of quality, and explain it to an attentive Gyrus. It was a long process, but Kodya didn’t think he’d ever had this much fun shopping for groceries before.

But as Kodya finished explaining about bananas and how they worked, he noticed Gyrus’ mood had taken a turn for the morose.

“What’s wrong?” Kodya asked, as Gyrus stared glumly down at the bunch of bananas in his hands. “Am I going too fast?”

“No, no,” Gyrus sighed. “It’s stupid.” Kodya crossed his arms, waiting, and Gyrus shifted the bananas into one hand to run the free one through his hair. “It’s not that I’m not grateful you brought me here so I could see everything, it’s just,” he peaked up at Kodya through his starshaped bangs, “there’s so much of it. I’ll never learn it all today, even if we didn’t have to hurry up and give Tori and Sylvia their turn.”

“Who said you had to learn it all today?” Kodya pointed out. “We’ve got the pool and the wheelchair now. We can definitely come back here again.”

“But it won’t always be raining,” Gyrus pointed out. “You might get seen helping us out of the water.”

Kodya waved a hand as he began to push Gyrus forward. “We’ll just have to figure out another way then. You’re smart. You know what the hurdles are, you come up with something.”

Gyrus shot Kodya a small smile. “Thank you Kodya,” he said. “You really are the best person to teach me.” Kodya ducked his head and pushed harder, trying to hide his blush.

“Kodya? Is that you? I thought I recognized you wandering about my store!” Kodya’s head snapped up to see Alistair waving from the counter. Oh no. “But who is this handsome stranger you’ve brought with you?” Alistair practically jumped over the counter to see better. It took all of Kodya’s strength not to grab the cart's controls and wheel them both out the door.

“Careful Alistair!” Kodya shouted as the man stepped closer and began shamelessly feeling up Gyrus’ muscles. “He’s in a wheelchair!” He pushed Alistair away as Gyrus starred with a look of absolute puzzlement on his face.

“Of course, of course!” Alistair said as he stepped back to lean on his counter. “What’s your name, handsome?”

“I’m Gyrus,” Gyrus said, sounding faintly amused. “Nice to meet you.”

“A pleasure! An absolute pleasure! I am Alistair, and this is my humble store!” Alistair gave a sweeping gesture to encompass the whole building. Kodya rolled his eyes at his theatrics.

“Are you really?” Gyrus asked, sounding intrigued. “Where do you get all the items for sale?”

“Trying to find my sources? How shameless,” Alistair raised an eyebrow and Gyrus blushed, sensing he’d done something wrong. Kodya scowled. “But don’t worry!” Alistair laughed. “My sources are all local, like our charming mutual friend, Kodya here!” He pointed to Kodya who crossed his arms.

“I don’t supply you that often,” Kodya grumbled.

“Oh come now Kodya, don’t be modest.” Alistair winked, he leaned over to Gyrus and whispered, “He caught me a great white shark, I still have the teeth if you want to buy them!”

“I know,” Gyrus smiled. “But I don’t need another shark’s tooth.”

“Another?” Alistair drew back in shock, mouth hanging open. He glanced wildly between Gyrus and Kodya. “You don’t mean to tell me our grumpy Kodya snagged a stud like you?”

“We aren’t dating Alistair,” Kodya stepped in before Gyrus had a chance to misunderstand. “I’m just showing him around while he’s in the states.”

“So he’s single?” Alistair said, and Kodya felt his heart stop.

“Kodya’s been really kind to me!” Gyrus piped up, clearly hoping to back up the illusion of being new to the area. “He’s taught me so much about these states!”

“Oh really? And what has he taught you?” Alistair leaned forward into Gyrus’ personal space.

“Lots! I’ve learned about money, and the presidents on the bills, and dinosaurs…” Gyrus began to rattle off all the things he’d recently learned while Alistair took the opportunity to stare shamelessly at his lips.

Kodya rolled his eyes, disgusted, then froze. Out of the corner of his eye he could have sworn he’d seen a blue tail.

-----------

Kodya stalked through the store, following the telltale trail of water down the aisles. He hated to leave the Kid alone with Alistair, but he trusted him to be able to handle himself and keep Alistair distracted while Kodya hunted down their real problem.

Speaking of which, he turned a corner to find one half of the dynamic duo munching happily away on the fish in the deli. “Fluffy!” Kodya hissed, as the pink-haired mermaid turned her wide eyes on him. “What are you doing here? And where’s Red?” He’d seen a blue tail, and unless Fluffy had changed her forest green scales blue and back in the last minute, there was no way she was alone.

Fluffy shrugged, gesturing to the fish in front of her to say, I don’t know, I got distracted by the food.

Kodya cursed, striding forward to grab Fluffy bodily and drag her away with a cry of, “you aren’t supposed to be here!” His motion startled Fluffy, whose tail whipped around and knocked the whole deli over, sending the whole display of fish directly on top of her.

Kodya and Fluffy froze. Panicked blue meeting panicked brown. For a second all was still, until in the silence the clunking sound of heavy boots began to fill the air. Fluffy sprang into action, covering herself with the fish in an attempt to blend in. Kodya helped, figuring that if whoever was coming mistook her tail for another fish they might just by themselves some time.

They had just finished when Knox, an employee of Alistair’s store, rounded the corner. “I heard a loud noise, and have been instructed to look for damages,” he said in that monotone voice of his.

Kodya could have cried with relief. If there was one word that summed Knox up, it was gullible. “Don’t just stand there!” He snapped, putting on his most thunderous expression. “Get the first aid kit!” Knox paused, eyes traveling from Kodya’s face to Sylvia’s fish covered tail, to her big puppy dog eyes about to overflow with tears.

“I will retrieve it,” he said, voice still montone, but there was a quickness in his step that betrayed his concern. As soon he turned the corner Kodya let out a relieved sigh.

Fluffy beamed up at Kodya, clearly ecstatic that it had worked. Kodya frowned back at her. “We still need to get out of here before he gets back,” he pointed out.

Fluffy rolled her eyes with the clear message of, you worry too much. And no Kodya wasn’t having that. He grabbed her arm and tugged it upwards.

“Come on,” he said as Fluffy obligingly circled her arms around his neck so he could lift her up. “We’ve got to find Red and get out of here before he comes back.”

“Before who comes back?” Kodya and Fluffy’s heads snapped to the right to see Tori emerging from the towel section. “And what was that noise?”

“What were you thinking!” Kodya felt his fury return in full force. “You knew you had to wait in the truck!” Fluffy looked down guiltily, but Red crossed her arms.

“I am the Champion of the Queen.” She scowled. “It is my duty to keep Gyrus safe. You were taking too long.”

“Gyrus is perfectly fine!” Kodya hissed, taking a step forward. “But now thanks to you two, I had to leave him alone, and now I have to get you out of here before anyone sees your tails and calls the press!”

Red drew herself up to her full height, which given half of her was a floppy fishtail, wasn’t that impressive. “I am perfectly capable of…” But Fluffy held up a hand to stop her, cocking her ear as if listening. Kodya and Tori followed her example, and Kodya’s heart stopped once again.

Footsteps.

Red dove towards the racks of towels as Kodya looked around wildly for a place to stash Fluffy. Could he throw her back into the fish?

Too soon the footsteps came to a halt. Kodya froze as a very familiar voice said, “Kody?”

Slowly Kodya turned around to see Nephthys standing in the aisle, eyes wide as she took in Red half hidden behind the towels and Fluffy still in Kodya’s arms. “Neph, I can explain,” he started, but she shook her head.

“Alistair is coming!” She said as she pulled out her purse. “Distract him while I fix this!” Kodya wanted to argue he’d be better able to carry both mermaids, wanted to ask why she wasn’t reacting, but the look in her eyes told him not to argue. He wordlessly handed off Fluffy and hurried back to where Alistair and Gyrus were waiting.

“Kodya!” Alistair called out. “What was that all about?”

“You just left,” Gyrus added, a bit reproachfully. “Then we heard a huge crash.”

Kodya waved a hand. “An accident. But don’t worry, Nephthys is taking care of it.” He shot Gyrus a look that he hoped communicated, help me distract him.

Alistair was still frowning, concern clear on his face. “I should still check it out, someone could have been hurt.”

“You really don’t have to,” Kodya said, and Gyrus added,

“Didn’t you say you can’t leave the counter to avoid losing a sale?”

Alistair stroked his beard, looking torn. “This is true, but I really can’t ignore people hurt in my store…” his face split into a sly grin that made Kodya’s stomach drop. “So Gyrus, you’re hired!”

“I’m what?” Gyrus stared in confusion.

“Wait a minute!” Kodya protested. “You can’t just hire Gyrus!” He was a mermaid for one, with a tail and no social security!

“Why not?” Alistair beamed. “He’s got all the qualifications: He has an understanding of basic math, thinks Andrew Jackson isn’t worthy of his position on the twenty dollar bill, and best of all, he’s really cute!” Alistair winked at Kodya and turned to Gyrus, “So what do you say? I’ll pay you an entry level salary, but with your brain and looks you’re likely to get promoted no problem!”

“You’ll pay me?” Gyrus blinked. “In money?”

Alistair opened his mouth to reply, an amused smile on his lips, just as Nephthys rounded the corner with Fluffy on her shoulder and another woman with red hair helping Nephthys support her. “Time to go Kody!”

Kodya wasted no time, grabbing Gyrus’s wheelchair’s handles as Gyrus scrambled for the grocery bags and began wheeling him out after the three women.

“Wait a minute,” Alistair started, “What happened?” But Nephthys waved her free hand behind her.

“Got it handled, take care of the mess and bill me!” She cried as she pushed through the door, a towel wrapped over Fluffy’s tail as she and the familiar looking stranger carried her out. Kodya and Gyrus followed, leaving a confused Alistair behind as they stepped into the open air.

“Where’s Red?” Kodya asked as soon as they got to the safety of the truck. He and the blue-tailed mermaid never saw eye to eye, but he didn’t want to leave her stuck in there.

“I’m right here,” snapped the woman with the red hair, “or have you gone blind?” Kodya blinked, and blinked again, his brain not catching up with his eyes. His gaze traveled down, from her distinctive red hair, to her odd plated shirt, to the towel tied around her waist, and her….

“You have legs!” Gyrus screamed, finger pointing in shock. Kodya blinked again, and yes. That was what his brain was struggling to comprehend. Before them both stood Red, on two legs and looking utterly human.

Tori placed a hand on her hip. “Yes, thanks to the potion the witch gave me.” She gestured to Nephthys with her other hand.

Kodya’s eyes flicked to Nephthys, and she gave him jazz hands with an awkward smile. “Surprise?”

#room of swords #room of swords fanfic #kodya #gyrus #sylvia #tori #strawbarrow #mermaid au #menfolk are overrated

[wickedsrest-rp-archive]

Mimes Mimes Mimes || Group Chatzy

Kaden really didn't want to be here right now. Birthdays had never been a big celebration for him and he was honestly fine with it. A beer on the house, maybe a free coffee, that's all he wanted. This year was so strange, he had people. Who cared. Still not sure why. Of course, one of them wasn't going to be there but he tried to push that aside. When he showed up to the Strip(e) club, he wanted nothing more than to turn and walk away, go home. Instead, he felt a pull, a strange need to stay and have fun. Well, try to at least. He didn't know why, maybe it was just that whole conscience thing or something from telling Regan he'd still go. Either way, he was not prepared for anything he saw inside. He stood still in abject horror at the... everything happening. There was only one solution to his. He b-lined it to the alcohol. "Bourbon on the rocks," he looked around briefly at the glitter and the mimes and the fucking werewolves. "Make it double."

Nora Pine, a fan of the Mime, had no clue that she'd stumbled into someone's birthday party. Today she was here for her own personal mission. To see a Mime strip. Why did she want to see a mime strip? Why not! People needed life goals and Nora thought this one was admirable to say the least. Plus she'd recently become very passionate about defending them as lovers on the internet. She figured it was time she actually saw what action they could bring to the table. When Kaden entered the club, Nora saw him instantly. Standing in a dark corner, she raised her glass of whiskey in a silent greeting to him.

Honestly, Winston was so far from sure why they had bothered to come. They didn't like mimes. The idea of strip clubs made them come out in hives because they were that uncomfortable and they already needed a drink. Heading past 'Tyler' they headed straight for the bar and smiled at the bar tender. "That sounds like a really good idea," Winston said even though they hated bourbon, "please can I have like the exact same." They weren't drinking this for the taste of it. "Happy birthday by the way," they said to Kaden as they stood next to them at the bar, "hope it's a ... good one." If Kaden had wanted a good birthday why would they have chosen to host it here?

What do you wear to a mime strip club? That certainly wasn't something Artie thought she'd be asking herself. Ever. In her whole life. But here she was. Dressed to impress Red's work colleague at a mime strip club. Grabbing the bag wrapped bottle of booze in one hand, and Red's arm in the other Artie wandered into the club. "Maybe there is something in the air here." Artie had been going on about this town's obsession with mimes their whole trip, "like in the pollen. Supernatural pollen that makes people obsessed with mimes... And mooses."

Luce had wandered into the Stripe Club, more out of boredom than anything and her expression of confusion morphed into one of horror. Not only was it a mime-filled horrorscape, there was the making of what looked like a cross between a five year old and a cheese loving furry's birthday party. Grimacing, she turned to leave, but found her way blocked by a burly looking mime who looked weirdly familiar. What the fuck? Grimacing, she walked over the the bar, sliding next to Winston and the other man. Catching the tail end of the conversation, she raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so you're the Birthday Boy?" Pausing, she looked him over. He didn't look like a furry. Hm. Weird. "Neat." She said before gesturing to the bartender. "That's also how I'd like my whiskey, please."

Joanne wouldn't miss her Rat King's birthday for anything. Everyone at the station knew Kaden was into mimes, so she slid into a striped mime shirt, donned a beret, and stuck Kady and Cadin in her pockets, despite their chittering protests and adorable twitchy rat tails. What a party! This was perfect for her sewer lord. Not wanting to disrupt the quiet atmosphere, she silently prowled around, looking for Kaden.

Bea had been rather excited for Kaden's party until she saw where it was being held. She tried to give it the benefit of the doubt but having a party at a mime strip club for a guy who was just stabbed by a mime seemed a bit insensitive. She had walked in with Kaden, though she had lost him when he had basically run to the bar, she had been distracted by the mime strippers. Refinding him wasn't hard he had already had a few drinks with her earlier and the bar seemed like the obvious place to be in this situation. She came to stand next to Kaden again,"Are you okay being here after everything?" She asked quietly before turning to grin at Winston and Luce. "Winston and Luce, hi! I didn't know you knew Kaden, Luce?"

Ohhh boy, Simon probably made a mistake as he slid in through the door as inconspicuously as he could. He could add "mime strip club" to his list of things he wasn't expecting - he couldn't remember the last time he was in a bar in general and the mixture of different scents made him bring a hand to his nose. Okay, he was here to mingle, observe and maybe meet some townsfolk (he wasn't sure how popular Kaden was but he was willing to guess "pretty"), then jet. No booze, no... wolf-shaped cheese snacks? Well, those were pretty cute. Still though, he kept close to the outer perimeter, noticing only one person he had met before. He assumed Kaden was the one at the bar but... everyone else was a tossup.

Kaden gave a nod to his past hunting partner at the bar. A little worried that she seemed more interested in the mimes than anything else. Ew. "Thanks," Kaden told the guy next to him. Had he seen them at the station before? Maybe, who knew. That would require spending time there. And someone who looked pretty similar to Bea. Third sister maybe? "Yeah, that's me. This, uh, this wasn't my idea. By the way." He smiled at Bea when she came over and confirmed his theory. "Uh, I'm alright. Just going to need a lot of this," he said gesturing to the glass in hand.

Alain gave Evelyn a glance of concern mixed with panic. The last thing he expected for Kaden's birthday, was to end up in a place swarming with the most vile species that had ever existed in this town : mimes. Figuring that gifting the man a Breton shirt was bad enough, Alain had decided to wear one himself, but now knowing that they would be surrounded by striped demonic fuckers, he felt a urge to turn around and leave the place. He doubted that Evelyn would agree to that, since he had offered to pick her up and drive her there. "We can still turn around," he offered. Maybe she would not want to be there either, considering what had just happened at her bar...

Since coming to White Crest, Red's life had become even stranger. Which was saying something, considering they were married to a weremoose and hunted fairies for a living. "Whatever it is that makes people obsessed with mimes, I want it to stay far away from me," Red grumbled to their wife. "And away from Violet, I heard people saying they think they like them because the grew up with them." They scanned the room with a grimace on their face. "Why did I agree to come to this again?" They knew that it was a fellow hunter's birthday, but they didn't think whatever this was was worth being a good coworker. "We only have to stay for a little right?"

Luce's expression of mild amusement soured as she saw her sister walk up to the bar. Taking the drink that was slid her direction from the bartender, she tilted it in cheers towards the man next to Winston. "Happy birthday. Someone must either really love you or hate you to throw this kinda party." She said conversationally before staring at her sister. Her arms were still covered in small cactus spine-shaped pin pricks and her ego still slightly bruised. But... She was going to be calm. And chill. "And no, I don't. Just... right place, right time."

Felix was overjoyed. The place looked like a living nightmare. All glitter and stripes, plus glittered and striped strippers. He hated the mimes but it was worth it just to see the chaos in black and white. The fae wore his finest crimson suit, a cut of red in all the black and white, and watched as people started to file in. Thoroughly confused people at that. Perfect. After a small misunderstanding with the bartender, Felix took his martini glass in hand, found himself a dark corner, and waited for the man of the hour to show. When he did, the fae beamed and headed straight towards him. Raised his glass in a mild cheers. Disgruntled, disgusted, looked like he wanted to leave but couldn’t. Must be a Frenchman. “And a very happy birthday to you, sir! Enjoy your stay, huh?” More people came and they all seemed to coalesce around the bar. “If anyone needs anything, let me know, huh? Anything at all!” Louder than anything else in the relatively silent place, he turned and readied himself to mingle.

Evelyn made a face when she and Alain arrived at the - Stripe Club? No, no, absolutely not. Who had thought that this would be a good idea at all in the first place, and especially after everything that had just happened to him. Besides, her dress and heels did not suit this place. She rolled her eyes. "We can, but I think we should go and check in on Kaden, give him presents at least." This had to be one of the tackiest places in town - strip clubs were tacky enough by themselves, and with the addition of mimes? Absolutely awful. But this was for Kaden and so she'd suck it up and deal with it. "Let us go?"

Arthur really wasn't sure why he'd even been invited to a stranger's birthday party but Regan had sent him the invite and... well, he felt rude to decline even if the idea of spending a single second in mime hell sent a batch of heebie jeebies down his spine. But stepping in, he seriously began to reconsider every single decision leading up to this point. He'd seen a lot in his lifetimes and this was... probably the single most traumatising place he'd ever stepped foot in. He'd need a lot of help to handle this particular experience and sought out the nearest drink he could find scanning the crowd for any kind of familiar face. He didn't even know who Kaden was...

Artie nodded adamantly. "Right. In and out. We wait for a lul in his conversations, go in wish him a happy birthday. Get one photo of us doing something interesting and leave. Then when people say "Oh I don't remember seeing you there." We have photo proof, and we gave a gift. Birthday boy remembers and we're free of these..." Artie lowered her voice to hiss out the words, sure that the silent monstrosities were staring at her and Red, absorbing every word heard around them to offer to whatever demonic creature mimes worshiped. "Vile zebra wanna-bes." She let out a sigh, allowing her voice to raise to a normal volume. "Why, in the name of all things green and full of chlorophyll, did you think we should come when you found out it was here? We could have said Vi was sick..."

It wasn't hard to notice her sister's expression when Bea joined them at the bar. She wasn't even sure what she had done now to piss off the middle sister, but she tried to ignore it. She had bigger issues to deal with and one of those was making sure the birthday boy himself didn't lose it at the chaos of this party. "Well, let me know if you need anything," She reminded Kaden, trying not to sound too much like a worrywart. (She was sure she failed). Then she heard a familiar voice and turned with a bright grin,"Felix! You're here! You set this party up?" She asked with an amused eyebrow raise

Simon had managed to find a table that wasn't completely decorated in... er, decorations and he sat down tentatively, pausing for a second before leaning back and pulling out a notebook. He noted the three empty chairs also around the table and decided to try to appear friendly so if people wanted to take them, they could... after all, they weren't HIS chairs. Time to take some notes on some of the individuals, and the room was filling up fast.

Marie-Jeanne tilted her head at the crowd. Fresh blood. She tapped the corner of her lips until they spread into a wide smile, and slowly shimmied her way through the crowd. Her clothing was minimal, made mainly of taped on black stripes, evenly spaced from neck to ankle. They smelled good, these newcomers, she thought as she wound her way through them, moving to a beat only she could hear. She tapped the occasional shoulder, giving them a wink and blowing a silent kiss before moving onto the next one. The winks were the only time she closed her eyes at all. Her make-up indistinguishable from her skin, as if it had always been there. Perhaps this was a celebration?

This was... absolute chaos. Glitter and stripes and music... GLORIOUS. Mercy could already feel the discord. She hadn't been invited exactly, but word traveled. And she couldn't pass this up. It had entirely too much potential. So she made her way through the crowd, trying to find someone she knew. Or someone she didn't. New friends were always a good time.

"You're a genius, that's a genius plan and that's exactly what we're going to do. Photo, conversation, and then we're out," Red went over enthusiastically. There was a lot going on here and it was pretty overwhelming to be in the middle of. Red didn't want to think about how Kaden felt about the whole thing. "Vi could get sick while we're here..." They said, before they tensed. Leaning to whisper in Artie's ear,"There's fae here." This wasn't a location to go hunting which made it an even more frustrating situation to be involved in. "Let's get your plan done quick."

Nora, who had been here since opening, was silently enamored with one particular mime. She'd first noticed this mime when she came up, tapped her shoulder and blew a kiss. Nora, literally just there to watch mimes, noticed that she did this thing where she didn't blink. Nora loved it. What a show. She wondered how she kept her eyes moist. Did she alternate the winks? Did she have fake make up eyes? Mimes were just the greatest. Nora leaned back in her corner, intent on enjoying the show despite the sudden uptick in people.

Alain grimaced. She was right. They could not leave Kaden alone in this place of terror, although his idea of getting the poor guy a breton shirt was starting to smell even more like a big turd than it already did. But, since he could not return the thing, it would have to do. "At least, you don't have to worry about being underdressed for the place..." He parked the car and raised his eyes up at the sky. "No amounts of drinking are going to make this acceptable." There was a pause. "Alright, let's go."

Blanche was certain that she had made something similar to a mistake. Whether it was joking with Felix about the Taylor (Tyler?) Lautner and the glitter thing or actually showing up to the birthday party at a mime-themed strip club, Blanche wasn't sure which. She was horribly amused and mortified all at once, as she went to grab a drink. She saw Felix floating around here somewhere, maybe she could beg him for something the to make her forget that she was here - and then she saw Alain and.... "Evelyn?" Blanche said, her voice too loud in the club. She scurried over. "Alain! Hey - uh, hi!"

Kaden wasn't sure which it was, love or hate that led to this monstrosity. He glanced at his phone a moment to send Regan an update and, uh, question how much of this was left up to her. Maybe see if she'd change her mind about showing up. He doubted it but he had to try. He could guilt her, right? One photo of this mess should send anyone into a guilt spiral for causing this nightmare, right? Shit, maybe that was too mean to do to her right now. His brow raised at Bea's reaction to the smarmy smooth talking guy in a suit. "Felix, huh? You two know each other? I guess I have you to thank for this.... Whatever this is. How'd you come up with this exactly?"

Luce raised an eyebrow at the man who'd just made a big showy gesture of "anything at all" and caught her sister say his name. Felix. Interesting. Red suit like that, he stood out well enough. As Bea turned to speak to him, Luce slipped away from the bar. There were other people here to mingle with and she didn't really feel much like trailing after her sister like some kind of puppy. "Happy Birthday. Enjoy unwrapping your gifts," She said with a glance over at one of the more attractive mimes-- if such a thing could be said. Patting the man, Kaden, on the shoulder, she walked away from the bar. As she made her way through the crowd, she spotted a person with a very intricate hand tattoo, standing next to a woman. "Nice tattoo. Where'd you get that done?" She asked the person, intrigued.

Cece was going to need a lot of drinks to get through this party. Who would have thought that there would actually be a bar that Cece couldn’t have fun in? Turns out, there really was a first time for everything. Regardless, if she was going to make it through this party, she was going to need some booze. “Please give me two of whatever your strongest shots are.” she sighed from a barstool. The bartender didn’t say anything. Oh fuck, of course he didn’t say anything. Because it was a fucking mime bar. Cece immediately downed both drinks and requested another one. She could totally have a fun time at this party. She just wasn’t sure how much booze it would take for that to happen. But here’s to starting off strong.

Winston was not sure what Bea and Luce were doing here, but at least there was someone to talk to that they didn’t work with. Maybe they could actually have a good time. Swallowing as much Bourbon as they could to try and get them sociable enough to not trip over their own proverbial feet, they spotted Blanche and grabbing one more drink they made their way over to her. “You here for Kaden too?” They asked curiously, spotting Alain. Was there anyone in this town that didn’t know Kaden? 

Evelyn gave Alain a quick shrug. "This is true, and I agree, I do not think much of any amount of drinking can make this worth it." As they entered in, someone came running over to them - "Blanche?" She asked, her lips curving up into a small smile. "Well, though I would have preferred we meet under just about any other circumstance, I am pleased to finally meet you in person." She pressed her hands against her dress, letting out a small sigh. "This is certainly one of the more eclectic parties I have been too, and let me tell you, some Dukes back home have some bizarre hobbies and habits.

Mercy had just ordered a large drink when someone grabbed her wrist. She spun around to see that it was Arthur, who she couldn't believe was actually here. In a bar. In a strip club. She coughed on her whiskey. "I was about to say... why wouldn't I enjoy this?? It's amazing." She took another drink. "I take it you're not having fun?"

Red glanced at the woman who just came up to them, surprised that anyone would want to actually have a conversation with a stranger at a party like this. They glanced at their hand before nodding at the woman with a little smirk. "Got this one done in Oregon. Haven't gotten any since I moved here though, you look like you'd have suggestions on where to go to get some quality work."

Artie tensed as soon as Red said the magic word. 'Fae.' "Babe, do you think... Do you think the fae are making the town be in love with mimes?" She was whispering into Red's ear, her eyes darting back in forth. Artie had gone through life with the intense pleasure of never having met a fae, and she wanted to keep it that way. "Classic life ruining shenanigans." Artie smiled widely and with the sincerity of a teenager agreeing to do the dishes as a mime walked past them. Artie gripped Red's arm even tighter. It was nice knowing they were there. They were a pillar of security in this unknown world. looking at the woman who joined them, Artie attempted another smile.

Miles had almost spat his coffee all over his desk when he'd received an email inviting him and the rest of the department to the party of one Kaden Langley. This guy worked in law enforcement? Figures. The field did tend to attract a lot of people who liked to throw their weight around. He walked in, cautiously looking around for anyone he might recognize.

Arthur blinked, mildly bewildered as he accidentally caught the eye of a blond mime tantalisingly?? lifting their striped shirts, he blinked again swallowing thickly and reaching for another drink. "What gave that away? Who in their right mind thought a... Actually no, don't answer that. Do you know Kaden?" he asked instead, taking a healthy swallow of his drink.

Felix smiled at Bea over the rim of his martini glass. “Bea! Oh, you better believe I did. I had some help. A certain Harlow character let me know about all the very interesting things the birthday fella likes, so...” He trailed to gesture at the everything around them. Tyler, the Taylor Lautner impersonator, seemed very popular with the mime strippers. When Kaden spoke, Felix turned his attention to him and nodded. “Yeah, we know each other! Bea’s a real good friend of mine,” he said with a comfortable smile. “I had plenty of creative suggestions, so I can’t take all the credit on this particular striped jigsaw puzzle! Sure is something, huh?” When a familiar blonde made her way to the bar, he called out. It was nice to see her not at a crime scene. “Hiya again, Cece! It’s an open bar so do with that what you will, huh?”

"I think all of us would have preferred to be literally anywhere else," Blanche said, honestly, glancing over at Winston as they showed up. "I .... think some of this might be my fault. Namely the glitter. And the... uh... That." Blanche pointed vaguely at Tyler Lautner, who was enjoying some cheese. She glanced at Winston as they came over, feeling better to see a friend. "Sure am. You, uh, work with him, right?"

"Gods, can't you feel it, 'Ren?" Mercy whispered aside as she watched the mime move by. "And we've chatted online... and I know what he does.... otherwise not much, no," Mercy said of knowing Kaden.

Luce nodded approvingly at the art. It took skill to do something like that. "Nice. Whoever did it had a good hand." Raising an eyebrow at the comment, Luce held out a tattooed hand of her own for the person to shake. "You're in luck. I'm Luce. I work at Ink Inc. Best tattoo place in Maine. I'd say White Crest, but we're the only one in town and that doesn't count." She said, extending the same hand to the woman at their side. "Luce. You guys know Kaden?"

Alain heard a familiar voice calling him and turned to look at her. "Blanche ! Well I'd hug you but your shoulder must still hurt," he patted her on the arm and smiled warmly. Winston making their way toward the little group, he smiled politely at them. "I am certainly not here for the mimes," he looked down at his striped shirt and shook his head. "This has to be the most awful place I ever had the misfortune of finding myself in. Whoever planned this will have to pay."

"Yeah, I came here because of the bar," Winston glanced at one of the mime strippers and immediately looked away. This was the worst. But at least they weren't on their own here. Either way. They needed more booze to get through this. Swallowing a mouthful of whiskey they almost spat it out at Alain's words. "You know, I think that you're right. This is the most detestable place that I've ever had the misfortune of finding myself in and now I have to agree that whoever planned this will pay," turning to Blanche they smirked slightly, "so you're saying you had a hand in this catastrophe?

Marie-Jeanne felt someone watching her. She glanced over her shoulder to the person with pale skin and black hair, smiled, and shook her derrière in her direction, and planned to return to her later. Her eyes were searching for the center of all this. The one who'd brought them all together. Picking up an invisible tray from the bar, she walked over to the one known as Kaden, running her striped fingers down his arm to catch his attention before carefully picking up an invisible glass of bourbon and holding it out to him, her hips swaying enticingly as she looked him over.

Miles barely had time to speak to anyone before he was flabbergasted by the sight of Mime strippers. "Oh... Oh no." Was this why he'd been stabbed? Mime fetishizing?

Simon wasn't actually feeling too bad about this, all the weird stripper-mimes notwithstanding though his gaze kept wandering over to Nora occasionally, finding himself curious on whether or not she was actually there for Kaden's party. He jotted something to himself in his book when a new yet very familiar scent drifted over to him. Without even really thinking about it, he stood up and starting looking around, wandering through the people and gently moving past bodies. Table? No. Cheese dogs? No. Mime stripper #4? Definitely not, deeefinitely not. He kept following the smell though - it was weird, it was... bad yet good. He didn't realise that he had circled around the bar before standing a little close to ???(Miles), furrowing his brow. Yep, it was this kid.

Mercy watched the mime with narrowed eyes, but found them more amusing than anything. This was... she couldn't but grin and wonder if her own brand of chaos was even needed.

"I wouldn't put it past them, they really are awful enough to come up with a plan like that," Red replied with a look of distaste plain on their face. Only fae would come up with something as terrible as this. No one else would make everyone suffer by falling in love with mimes. Red took Luce's hand, looking over the tattoo she had there as they did. "Hm, I'll keep that in mind. What's your usual style?" Maybe Luce would be able to give Red the Violet tattoo they wanted. "Yeah. Kaden's a coworker. Though, right now I wished I hadn't known animal control was part of the police department."

Nell remembered hearing Bea talking about Kaden's birthday today, and hadn't really been planning on attending. After all, she didn't think an attempted stabbing and some words exchanged online exactly warranted showing up to his birthday party. Though...she did loved birthday parties. Still, she'd been planning to sit it out until she looked up the address. Mimes. Who in their right mind would have their birthday at a mime strip club, of all the cursed places? Especially after being stabbed by one. There was, quite literally, no place she'd hate to be more, but she was also curious. Maybe she could scope out if any other mimes were 'cursed' here like Kaden had seemed to think his was. So here she was, feeling as if she's stepped into an actual, living nightmare. Glancing towards Blanche and Winston, she naturally gravitated towards the pair of them, joking in with Winston and his words. "Blanche, you helped? I can't believe you'd betray us like this? Of all the things. Mimes."

Making a small face as Blanche described what part she had played in this, Evelyn replied with, "well, is it a bit of a joke?" before she turned to the newcomer to their group. Someone she recognized, vaguely. "Winston?" Well, apparently everyone really did know everyone else in this town. "Well, it is a pleasure to see you again although most would have thought it would be under different circumstances than these. At least the company is nice." She glanced over to Alain briefly before looking back at the other two, and at the new figure who had joined them.

So she'd dumped him, but maybe it was a little in haste. After all, Lydia wanted to know just how Jeremiah the mime had taunted Kaden as he'd promised. What she hadn't expected, of all things, was to find people she knew in the Strip(e) club. Perhaps... perhaps she would find this Jeremiah later.

Arthur side eyed her for a moment, "what? Sick? Yeah." He frowned a little bit as he somehow found his current glass empty, putting this down he reached for Mercy's to quell his racing mind but his hand was intercepted by a white glove. The blond mime having very silently made their way over in an attempt to drag Arthur onto one of the stages and apparently join in their act. Oh no. Oh nope. Nope. No way. Mildly panicked he tried to pull back, but the mime was surprisingly strong and managed to tug him a step away. "Oh fuck, help, Mercy help."

Go to the co-workers birthday party, her brother had said. It'll be fun and you'll make new friends, he said. Jane was horrified. Wasn't this the guy that got stabbed by a mime? Wasn't she working that case with Stryder? Did she imagine that? Had Felix slipped her something? Jane stood in horror by the enterance, shaking a bit og glitter off her boot before hightailing it to the bar. She saw Cece doing shots. Perfect. Tunnel visioned to the alcohol, Jane said, "Give me two of those shots too - Oh. Felix." Jane stared at him a moment. She turned back to the bartender. "Four. Make that four shots."

"Felix is a great friend. We've been hanging around each other for the past three years?" Bea told Kaden warmly. Though she doubted he was going to take to Felix as warmly, since he was involved in whatever this was. "Harlow?" She asked before realizing that meant Blanche had been involved with this. That checked out she supposed. "I see Blanche continued her reign of terror on you, Kaden." She said with a little laugh.

"Artie." Artie said as introductions went around. Artie vaguly paid attention as they talked about tattoos. Artie loved Red's tattoos and thought they were beautiful, but tattoos had never been her thing. "Never met the man. Just here for support and to be the bearer of gifts." She laughed, holding up the present she still needed to give. She didn't see a present table set up, so she'd just have to hand it to him when they got their moment to talk to him. Right now a mime seemed very interested in talking to the man she could now identify as Kaden.

Miles couldn't help but wonder if he was supposed to bring a gift. He was morally opposed to bringing gifts to potential murderers, but figured a good middle ground was to bring him a bottle of whiskey or something. Something to endear Kaden to him and perhaps loosen his tongue a little. There were a few familiar faces in the room, so Miles slowly approached the bar area, ordering a beer.

Mercy saw a few other people she recognized. Felix - gods, what a suit... but it suited... hah - and Blanche. There was Evelyn too. She was about to say something when Arthur spoke instead. "Huh? Oh... woah there. Not. Yours." Mercy reached for the white-gloved hand (it had a helluva grip on Arthur) and removed it from his person. The mime merely looked at Mercy for a long moment, but she stared back, crossing her arms and making a pointed shooing motion with her fingers.

"The shoulder is still a little sore," Blanche admitted, grinning back at Alain, before scowling at Winston and then Nell. "Hey, don't look at me, I didn't say to set it up at a mime place! He just got, ya know, stabbed by one. I just suggested glitter and the Taylor - I mean Tyler - er, Taylor Lautner impersonator. Though I didn't know that was even a thing." Blanche looked around, grimacing. "I think this place is cursed."

Oh, he was moving. And so Simon did too. He did realise then how close he was standing and he took a couple steps back but he was still following. Hey, people followed people all the time, right? He pulled out his notebook with a sniff, writing down details about the boy with the familiar scent-- oh wait, they were at the bar. Might as well pencil in some gossip while he was at it.

Kaden nodded, thin smile pulled tight across his face as Felix yammered. "Harlow. Helped? Of course she did." He downed his drink and motioned for another. The one thing he had to say about the mimes was they caught on to the gesture no problem. "I'm going to get some of that cheese. Have fun. I'm sure I won't." He was about to leave when a fucking mime came over with, uh, nothing in her hands at all and stared... no. No. There was no way this was happening. "Uh, I don't-- Please don't." And yet he was frozen still in shock, unsure of what the fuck to even do about this. Other than down that second drink.

"Nice to meet you both." Luce said with a nod. As the the person asked about her style, she pushed up the sleeve of her jacket, showing them the geometric design that wrapped around her wrist and went up her arm. "My personal style is geometric, black work. But, I'm flexible. I'm pretty good with traditional and neo-traditional." She said with a shrug. When they mentioned that they were coworkers, Luce grinned. "White Crest does things different. And, good on you both for even coming by. I'm here because." Luce grimaced. "Bad luck, I guess."

Cece was what, five? Six drinks in by now? All while making pointless conversation with a speechless bartender. She spotted Miles coming up to the bar and flashed a friendly, if not way too drunken smile. “Oh hey, you showed up too? Sorry for your loss, dude.”

Winston nodded. "This place is definitely cursed, I can't believe that we actually came to a mime themed strip club." They weren't sure why Nell was here, but they didn't really care. It was nice that there were this many people that they knew. Otherwise it might've been weird or something. "How long do we reasonably have to stay here before we get another drink?" they were itching to head for the bar, hoping that if they drank enough then maybe this place would be palatable. "I wonder how much it cost to hire this place for an afternoon?"

Simon peeked out from behind Miles. "D-Dr. Bishop?" He asked, only just now recognising her face for some reason, and certainly never having seen her outside the morgue.

Wow, Kaden had a lot of friends... Joanne scoured around, pouting, as she realized it was going to be harder to pick out her Regal Rat from the crowd than she thought. She mimed a tear falling down her cheek, and practically walked into a woman who also seemed to be looking for someone. Kady chattered from inside her pocket, she calmed him with a hand. He'd be back in the sewers soon enough. "Have you seen Kaden?" she asked quietly, not wanting to completely break character. "I have something for him."

Arthur staggered as he almost lost his balance when the tight grip around his wrist suddenly released bumping into someone near the bar who a moment later he recognised as Miles "oh shit I'm sorry." The mime stared at Mercy, unblinking in its intensity before black-painted lips suddenly cracked into a toothy grin and the mime... mimed laughing. Silent as its body shook while it stood there a few feet away making no move to leave. Arthur could only stare in mild horror at the scene leaning in to whisper "what the actual fuck??"

Nell wasn't sure about being in such close proximity with Alain, but she figured she didn't have to talk to the man, right? Instead, she focused on Blanche and Winston, or rather- on anything but the mimes. "Is the Taylor Lautner impersonator because of why...I think he's here?" Nell asked with the beginnings of a grin, uncertain of how to phrase the question with present company. "Wait- do you know Kaden, Winston?" But at Winston's prompting she was ordering quite the strong drink from the bar before saying. "I'm already thinking of getting a second. But any amount to pay for this place is too much." 

Cece burst into laughter, “You’re sweet, but I’m no doctor dude. Just a toxicologist. Four years strictly for me.” She patted his shoulder, taking another long drink from her glass. “You started at the worst time, clearly. I have no idea how we ended up getting roped into coming to this place.”

Marie-Jeanne was used to the new ones being shy. They had no idea how easy it would be to lure them in over and over- oh. She turned her shoulder to press it coyly against her cheek, inviting him to play along. After a moment, she shrugged, returned the drink to her tray and set it aside. She stepped just a little closer, and took his hand in hers, nodding encouragingly. He'd enjoy this, she knew, as she lead his hand to her shoulder, and used it to began peeling away one of the black tapes that striped her body. As it peeled away tantalisingly, it revealed another black stripe on her skin underneath. She smiled down at him, unblinking.

Mercy didn't laugh... she merely mimed reaching into her pocket, being surprised, and then pulling her hand out with the middle finger raised.

Raising an eyebrow gently, Winston shrugged in Nell's direction. "Kaden is animal control, they work at the station, so I got an invite through that and it seemed like it was the place to be..." they trailed off and slugged back more of their drink, praying that if they drank more this place would be slightly less terrible, "How do you know Kaden? I know he and Blanche are friends, even though she's referred to him as a dick multiple times, did you just feel afraid of being left out?" If you couldn't tease your best friend then what could you do.

Red's hand moved now to cover the hand Artie had on their arm, their thumb brushing back and forth on her hand. "Looks like in a place like this, Kaden is gonna need as much support as he can get," They said looking around once again. They nodded again at Luce's tattoos, she did good work, but they were, personally, more interested in neo-traditional. "Well, maybe I'll come by the shop to see you there. I need a tattoo for my daughter anyway." Red had one for Artie already and had been waiting to get one for Violet. "You come to mime strip clubs often?

Wait a second, you are behind this?" Alain's eyes went from Blanche to Evelyn. Pinching at the bridge of his nose, he then looked around him, searching for Kaden. Maybe it would be nice to start looking for him. They could leave once he had his present, right? "How about we find the birthday boy, mmh ?"

"Jane! Always a pleasure. Have another one on me," Felix laughed. In most cases, people were getting some level of inebriated. This party wouldn't be any different. Looking at Kaden's clear discomfort at the mime brought a bright smile to his face and he slipped his glasses down long enough to wink. "I'll leave you two alone. Enjoy yourself, huh? Regan wants you to have a great time and you did promise to stay, after all!" A promise was a promise, after all. He grabbed another martini and stepped off to the side, immensely pleased.

Lydia turned as a mime approached her, her voice dropping low. Lydia's eyes widened. "Sorry, Kaden's here?" She repeated, before shaking her head in disbelief and looking around. This was beyond belief. "You have something for him? No, I haven't seen him, but I believe I could help you look, if you like?"

Miles was usually just fine with parties, but this entire situation was unsettling and uncomfortable. Mime themed strippers. Mime themed lapdances. Miles was all set to down his beer and bounce. "Hey, Winston..." He managed to find someone he actually knew. It was lucky nobody could see a guy blush in this kinda lighting. "You know this Kaden dude?"

"I agree." Evelyn replied, running a hand through her hair. "This is the only reason to bother staying, so we should at least attempt to find him." She spotted Arthur and Mercy as well - perhaps they would be nice to talk to, even if they appeared to currently be near a mime. "After this, I am truly and utterly done with mimes forever."

The longer Bea looked around to see what was happening the more confused she got. What the heck is that mime doing? Why does she have more black tape underneath the black tape? Who came up with a mime strip club? Why was the party here? She expected this from Felix, but not Blanche. Maybe she'd have to talk to Blanche about therapy. Waving down the bartender, she asked with a sigh,"Can I have a martini?"

Glancing up, Winston spotted Miles, who was a werewolf. That was something that they weren't sure that they had really processed yet, but you couldn't judge people you didn't know. Besides, most werewolves were cool right? They tried not to think about their big black wolf form. "Hey Miles, these are some of my friends by the way, I work with Miles too..." they shrugged gently and swallowed more whiskey, "Not very well, I got the invite because we work together I guess, we've talked a few times online but not really y'know."

"When in Rome..." Mercy said to Arthur as she and the mime proceeded to stare at one another.

Miles nodded, giving introductions to Winston's friends. "Hey, nice to meet y'all."

Simon noted Miles' departure - he must not've been comfortable in crowds-- or maybe just mime gang-hangouts. Gangouts. He winced ever-so-slightly at Cece when he turned back to regard her though... she already carried the sharpness of alcohol. "I just... came because I thought it'd be a good opportunity to watch," He replied, giving her a small smile. "You seem to be enjoying yourself, at any rate."

Marie-Jeanne briefly turned her head towards Felix and winked, miming a promise to see him later, before turning her attention back to Kaden, slowly sliding their hands to the next stripe.

Joanne's eyes widened. This woman didn't know about the grand event happening? "Don't you see?" She waved her gloved hands in an arc. "It's his birthday! He's really into mimes, you know." Joanne giggled, and Cadin started climbing up her sweater. The rat perched on her shoulder and starting biting her earlobe, but that was fine. "Please help me look, won't you? All of the right planets and stars are aligned tonight, the sacrifice has been made... it's important he receives his Sewer Crown."

"No!" Blanche said, quickly. "That would be Felix - I may just, uh, given him the glitter idea." Blanche rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. Her bad, really. Though this was a shit show and it was really sort of hilarious. "And yes, it is because of that." Blanche told Nell, snickering slightly, before glancing at Miles. Oh. Miles. She remembered Miles. From the Remmy situation. Aw hell. "Hey, man. Nice to, uh, see ... you."

Oh, right. Nell should have probably pieced that together, but honestly she'd forgotten that animal control would be roaming around the same station as Winston. "Tell me truthfully, now," she said to Winston. "How quickly did you run over here when you heard it'd be at a mime strip club? I didn't know you were into this. I guess old friends really can learn new things. And I...will tell you how I know Kaden...later." No doubt Winston would pick up on her telling tone that the meeting might have been supernaturally charged. "You know me, though. I'm like a little leech. Latching onto whatever I can get." Then she was leaning over to the newcomer to give him a small wave. "Hi, there."

Miles gave a small smile to Blanche. Maybe Kaden was the Hunter she'd had the problem with too. But then why would she be at his party? "I don't really know him either, just figured it's rude not to show up."

Late, as per usual, Marley dropped off her "gift" at the "gift" table and headed straight for the bar. If she was going to be here, she was going to be tipsy. Not only was this a mime bar, it was Langley's birthday. Just her luck, the newbie was there. "Hey Newbie," she said, ordering a drink, "same idea, I see."

The blond mime flicked his floppy hair out of the way, its cracked lips thinning into a pressed line as his head cocked to an exceptionally odd angle a white gloved hand raising to its chin as it mimed thinking before suddenly raising its index finger. It moved eerily gracefully, towards a nearby wilting flower pot and mimed picking a flower, smelling it and swooning. It returned dropping to one knee, hands clasped and proffered forth as though offering this imaginary bouquet batting its eyes in its silent attempt at cuteness that made it all the more distressing to watch. Arthur could only stare, utterly horrified.

Alain took a deep breath. This place was too crowded for his liking, and the fact that it was crowded with striped fuckers certainly did not help. At least he had someone he was familiar with to accompany him across this hell, right? "Weren't you already done with those things?" His eyebrows shot up. "Learning new things everyday."

Kaden didn't know how it was happening but somehow there was a mime stripping in front of him with stripes that... revealed more stripes? Were there too many people there to try and fight her? He was pretty fucking sure this was a monster. It had to be. His eyes went wide as Felix and Bea left him there "Hey, wait, I did nor promise to--" The mime put a fucking finger to his lips to silence him. Nightmare. This was an absolute nightmare.

Laughing at Nell, Winston found themselves grinning despite themself. A mime strip club really wasn't their thing and Nell definitely knew that. "Well, I am glad that you were able to latch onto this so we could enjoy my obvious ..." they paused to highlight their obvious disgust at the idea they would flippantly admit to in moments, "kink for this sort of thing." They swallowed the last of their whiskey and ordered another one, they definitely needed this.

Felix felt the sudden and immediate need to be incredibly less sober than he was the very moment Marie-Jeanne looked at him. He waved over to Bea with his not martini occupied hand and reached into his suit pocket to pull out a slim joint just slightly. "Think the cops are too occupied with other stuff to give a damn? Because I sure as heck do."

Luce noticed the stance, the hand on the woman. Mm. A couple. She probably shouldn't have barged into their conversation, but still. She couldn't resist good art, or the opportunity to network. She needed to drum up business in a small town like this. "Sounds like a plan, I look forward to seeing you in the shop then." She said with a confident smile. Though when they mentioned the mime situation, she made a face of distaste. "Not at all. I hate mimes. But, the weird buff one wouldn't let me leave so... Guess I'm here for the mean time." She said, pointing to the one who looked like disturbingly similar to Taylor Lautner.

“Well you certainly chose one hell of a spectacle.” Cece laughed, looking back at the horrors of the party. Someone had chosen this place on purpose for Kaden’s birthday. Either it was a cruel joke and Kaden should seek an immediate lawsuit for defamation of character and emotional burden, or Kaden was into some really weird shit. Which, no judgement but also… okay a little judgement. “You need a drink? I was just about to order another one. Or two.” She tipped her glass back and downed the rest of it for sure. “What do you want? The bartender isn’t much for conversation, but luckily I make great convo.”

Bea stared at the joint and then glanced at Kaden, she had promised to save him from whatever horrors this party brought, even though she hadn't expected them to include a mime stripper. Nodding to Kaden, she smiled at Felix apologetically,"Can I bring him? I think he needs to be saved from whatever that is."

Lydia looked around, at the large banner. "Oh, how wonderful. Do you know who planned this?" She'd have to tell Deirdre about this. Someone wanted him dead as much as they did. Her eyes widened at what Joanne said next. "Really? Well, come along, we will find him soon enough." Lydia began to wander through the crowds, poking her head around. "Oh, there he is. But he's being entertained." This was the first time she'd seen him in person, and under that mime's hands, he looked like he might have preferred Miccy's knife. "Let's give him this moment first, shant we? I'm sure that mime is terribly enjoyable, and we can't deprive him, can we?"

Jane was in the process of downing shots. "You," she had pointed at Felix, "We're talking later!" Though if she arrested Felix at the party, maybe they would both get to leave. Jane shook her head, before glancing at Stryder. "You can call me Jane, you know," She said, knocking back another. She leaned over, "Uh, is Langley trying to get stabbed again? Or is he just into some weird shit?"

Nell watched in abject horror from across the way as the mime seemed to latch onto the birthday boy. Someone should save him. Not her. God no. She wouldn't go near the mimes with a ten foot pool unless it was to start another mime fight. But... someone. Hopefully this one wouldn't stab him, at least. He amusement only grew as Winston went along with her joke, wishing she had a recorder stashed to catch this moment of their apparent newfound kink. "Oh, Winnie. i'm really just so proud of you for embracing this. Unfortunately, I think this is the end of the road for our friendship, though." Then she was taking a hearty draw of the drink the bartender had delivered. "What about you, Blanche? Is this your newfound fetish, too?"

"Already more than done with them." Evelyn sighed. In a brief moment, she hooked her arm with Alain's. "Well, now I am only all the more certain that I am done with them." She pouted for a moment. "And to think, I got a nice new outfit for this. Well, let us go find Kaden, or at least someone else who we know."

Simon gave a rather noncommittal shrug - drinking wasn't a hobby he'd ever participated in, but... he gave another sniff and nodded faintly. "Sure," He took her offer though his eyebrows arched as she downed the rest of her current drink. "Yeah, it's... I wasn't expecting this sort of turnout," He admitted, straightening up and glancing around at the forming sea of people. "Where... IS Kaden, anyway?" He asked quietly. From their chat, it sounded like the guy didn't really like mime so the aspect of making a mime-themed birthday party seemed... either ironic or cruel.

"You're right," Marley said, "I could. I won't, but I could." She shrugged, ordered herself some shots, glancing at whoever it was that Jane had shouted at. He looked a little more out of place than most of these people, but it didn't matter. This was a party! And they were all off duty. She glanced through the crowd again and spotted Cece somewhere far off. Red and Artie were off somewhere, but no sign of Regan. This was going to be a shit show, if it wasn't already. A familiar blonde caught her eye as well. Evelyn. She was with an older looking man, and Marley's eyes narrowed a little before she turned back to Jane. "Here's to an open bar!" she said, clinking their glasses together. "Eh, just ignore it. Who cares what Langley's up to. I just came for the drinks."

Blanche was in desperate need to get a drink, especially as Nell and Winston started joking about mime kinks. She shook her head, before looking over and seeing the worst possible thing she could imagine. Kaden getting a lap dance from a stripped mime. She stared loudly. Before she turned to Nell and Winston and Miles, and announced, "I need to consume copious amounts of alcohol immediately to forget what I just saw. I found the birthday boy and I wish I didn't."

Marie-Jeanne pressed her finger to his lips to let him just be quiet, and enjoy the music of silence and the sound of against his seat. He seemed to be enjoying this, she thought, and so she leant even closer, gyrating the air just above his hips as she placed her hands on his shoulders, and slowly, slowly dragged them down his chest. Right to where his heart was. She waved to Guillaume, inviting the mime over to join them both, and he immediately mimed removing his shirt for Kaden. Her hands still rested firmly on his chest. Soon his heart would beat for her and her friend.

Mercy watched the mime as it moved off and came back with an offering of a 'flower.' She glanced at Arthur, raised an eyebrow. The glanced back at the mime... suspiciously. Eventually she rolled her eyes, but gave the mime a curtsy - yes, a proper one... - and took the 'flower.' She mimed tucking it in her hair before miming something that Arthur couldn't see. The mime tilted it's head again, pretending to cry, sighed wistfully, and then with a rather... odd.... look, it did a handstand and crept away. On it's hands.

Winston definitely did not to need to see the birthday boy getting grinded on by a mime in a thong, and immediately followed Blanche to the bar after starring as equally loudly. "Like as many doubles as I'm allowed please, i need to try and drown that memory."

Red watched in horror as the lapdance got worse. "Felix I'm going to be right back." She basically power walked over to Kaden and put her hand on his shoulder, grinning at the mime. "I need the birthday boy now please. Get off him. Thanks."

Miles followed Winston's lead. "That's him??" He turned his head, desperate to un-see whatever in the ungodly hell he'd just seen involving Kaden Langley and an almost nude mime. "Whose idea was this venue?"

Bea watched in horror as the lapdance got worse. "Felix I'm going to be right back." She basically power walked over to Kaden and put her hand on his shoulder, grinning at the mime. "I need the birthday boy now please. Get off him. Thanks."

Felix looked over at Kaden, who was thoroughly suffering, and thought it over. "Is that a man who looks like he needs saving?" If he did, the fae wasn't about to do it. "Tell you what, doll. You take this," he said as he took her hand and slipped her the joint. "For the birthday boy. I'm gonna go check in with Tyler and I'll meet up with you later, huh?" He squeezed her shoulder lightly and made his way over to Tyler, who immediately grinned. "This is really dope, Mr. Doyle! It has been so hard to find work as a Taylor Lautner impersonator the last ten years so this was really rad of you." The fae smiled thinly. "Oh, I bet! But hey, looks like you're in demand again. Go get 'em, tiger!" Tyler laughed and started to howl. "I'm a wolf, bro!" Felix downed his martini. "Aren't you just!" He still had a few joints to last the evening.

As if she'd read Blanche's mind, Nell handed a drink over to Blanche that she'd ordered as soon as she'd seen her friend. She had a feeling they'd all need a lot of alcohol to cope with what was going to happen tonight. What was already happening. "Take it. Take it and run." Then she followed in suit with Winston's idea, simply saying to the bartender, "What they're having. I need two of everything... please. There went Bea to save the poor birthday boy, at least.

Cece grabbed the two drinks from the bartender and slid one over to Simon. “Who knows? Maybe he’s really into this whole mime thing?” This was a strip bar afterall.. Maybe Kaden had found some mime to uh… mime with him. No words needed. She was taking a drink when she spotted more familiar faces across the bar. Jane and Marley, thank god. “Ooh, more friends, come with!” Cece all but dragged Simon over to the rest of the crowd. Jane, Marley and… Felix? Interesting addition. “Guys thank god you’re here too. Please drink with me.” She raised her beer to the group and pointed at Simon, “Hey, here’s the new guy at the morgue if you haven’t met him yet. It’s Simon!”

Was it a tinge of jealousy Nora felt as not one but two mimes started to give Kaden his own public lap dance? A little. Mimes were.... How could she describe them in the perfect words? There were no words to describe just how powerful and majestic they were. The feelings they conveyed. It was art to its purest form. Even the idea of no sound crossing their lips. Honestly, it just made since for mimes. The emotions they were able to convey and convict is just too powerful for words to handle. An ancient godly language would have to be made up to contain it.

Marie-Jeanne smiled at Bea as if she didn't understand her. Did she also want a dance? Or maybe to peel off one of her many stripes?

Was Bea going to have to push a mime stripper today? She didn't want to push a mime stripper.

Alain glanced over at Evelyn's arm. It was actually comforting, in a time like this one. She probably must have noticed him tense, and he was thankful to be with someone who got him. His eyes eventually found Kaden, with a mime on his lap and Beatrice stepping in to rescue him from a certain death. "Jesus Christ," he exclaimed, approaching the pair and giving the mime stripper the most disdainous look he could afford to give. For an instant, he must have looked exactly like his father.

Luce caught sight of other people turning to look at one of the mimes and immediately wished she hadn't. Good luck, Birthday Boy. Tossing back the rest of her drink, she held up the empty drink to Artie and her spouse. "I need a lot more of this if I want to pretend I hadn't seen that. Nice talking to you." She said before making her way over to the bar. Settling next to her sister, she spoke up. "Two of whatever you've got that's strong and will make me forget that." She said before turning to watch the shitshow unfold. Aw. There went Bea. Good luck with all that. "Better her than me." She said to Nell.

With the mime gone, Mercy huffed and turned back to the bar. She ordered something large and strong - and one for Arthur too - before pulling her own pre-rolled 'cigarette' out of her pocket. Lighting it, not even bothering to wonder if it was alright or even safe, Mercy took a pull. "This is more fucked than that time in... what year was it? With the..." Mercy waved the 'cigarette.' "... the orgies and the naked grape-crushing?"

Jane snorted. "I mean, I guess we don't have to do anything unless someone actually gets stabbed," Jane agreed to the toast, laughing lowly. She grinned at Marley, happy to be in hell with someone she knew. And more people she knew. "Oh! Cece!" Jane said, happily. "And - oh, hi Simon! I'm Jane. You can call him Newbie, Stryder."

Artie smiled to herself at the light reassuring touch of Red's thumb on her hand. The woman, Luce, who had been talking tattoos with Red held up her drink and left. "She seemed nice. I bet that's going to be a great tattoo she gives." She cracked a smile. "But now my question is, how do we leave when we obviously can't be the one to interrupt the special boy's special lap dance."

Simon had just taken the drink from Cece when he heard someone start to howl and he had already started to lean his head back when he slammed a hand over his mouth, stopping just short of shoving his knuckles into his teeth to stave off the need as he was dragged compliantly by Cece over to people she presumably knew. He cleared his throat loudly and took an alarmingly large drink as she introduced him and he coughed his breath out from the sting of the alcohol combined with... everything else. Great first impression. "H-hi," He choked.

Evelyn was grateful that they finally found Kaden - and someone else, who she also did not recognize. "Kaden, what exactly is," she motioned vaguely, "this? Seems a little out of taste for you." She looked at the mime and narrowed her eyebrows.

Joanne frowned. She should have been the one to plan this, but someone stole it from right under her hands. "I don't know, but at least there are plenty of mimes. Not enough rats." Kady chattered his teeth in agreement. She followed the other woman, eyes peeled for the Rat King's magnificent mane. A mime had him. Joanne snarled and rolled up her striped sleeves. Kady and Cadin started running around on her shoulders in a frenzy. She was going to tear the stripes off that mime for stealing her Kaden away. And then, she had a king to crown.

"Let him be tortured for a little bit," Marley grinned. "It feels nice." There was certainly a lot of chaos here, and a tinge of horror. Not enough to enjoy or feed from, but it was still nice to enjoy. Marley raised her glass when Cece approached. "Cece! Join us! You, too, new guy! All are welcome in the all night drink fest, here--" she held out two shots to each of them. "Catch up." Grinning behind her sunglasses.

Bo had been staring decidedly at a wall, her back to the stage. The plate of cookies in her hands rattled. She saw nothing. She wanted to see nothing. She couldn't look at the strippers (stripe-ers?). All this time, her gaze lost to the shadows of the wall. Somehow, with great courage, she walked backwards towards the bar. "C-cookie?" She offered meekly to the people there. Her face had become permanently etched with redness. She could see nothing. Hear nothing. She placed the tray down sadly. "I would like some of alcohol please." She had never had a sip of the stuff before. But what better place to try than at this nightmare.

Arthur stared as the mime left on its hands, flipping gracefully down to then crab walk backwards through the crowds somehow avoiding bumping into other people as it vanished. "What... the actual fuck?" it seemed to be all he'd been reduced to saying. He blinked, staring at the spot it had vanished into before looking back to his friend with a shake of his head. "No that's totally not comparable... That was a rather enjoyable experience with a lot of wine at the end of it this... was definitely not... I feel like I need to meet this Kaden dude... If only to get an idea who the hell would want this for a birthday party?" He glanced around the crowd noticing Evelyn stood by someone he didn't recognise currently being... tended to by a scantily striped mime. "Think that might be the birthday boy?"

Blanche immediately downed the drink Nell had handed to her. "What would I do without you, Nellie." She said, sniffing slightly, before looking at Miles. "Freaking Felix's idea. Unless he got the idea when I said he, uh, got stabbed. Oh god, I hope not." Blanche blanched, before ordering another drink.

Kaden winced as the mime jammed her hands right on his wound, right at the stitches. Yup, this was hell. He'd found hell. Could she just stab him now and be done with it? He was relieved to see Bea. "Uh, I'm going to go now," he said as he pushed her away and climbed out of the chair, making sure no knives were about to make an appearance. "She, uh, really needs me." And Evelyn and Alain, too. "Hell. This is hell. Hi. Sorry you had to come," he said as he stood up and tried to practically hide behind his friends from the mime that was still staring, not blinking. Shit. "I might need something stronger than alcohol soon."

Spotting Bo, Winston smiled and waved for her to come over and join them. “If you want an alcohol Bo then you’ve definitely come to the right place,” they hadn’t been paying for drinks all night so they really hope it was open bar, “can we get four of whatever we just ordered please?”

Nell nodded along with her sisters words, wondering if this was how the Stripe Club stayed open. They just horrified their patrons into buying more alcohol. "Let's hope this one doesn't have a knife," she said about Bea having gone to help Kaden. "Otherwise, I can't guarantee there won't be more stabbing in this Chili's tonight if the striped bastard decides to be a dick."

"I think if we take a picture in front of Kaden getting a lapdance that will count as the photo of us being at the party," Red replied. They sighed as they watched Kaden get up from the lapdance. There goes the photo they were going to show at the Silver Bullet. "Want to just leave the gift on one of the cheese tables and get out now?"

Marie-Jeanne looked at the growing crowd, her shoulders sinking and a pout extending. She wiped an invisible tear from her eyes, bent over (salaciously) to pick up one of her stripes and tied it around Kaden's hand, finishing it with a bow. The perfect gift. He pushed her away and she pouted more, before blowing him one last kiss, perking up, and sauntering to find someone else to give presents to.

Later, he would find that bow hard to remove.

"Are you... having a stroke?" Mercy asked. "Here." She held out the 'cigarette' to him. "And there's a lot of wine here if you'd get to drinking like the rest of us." She looked around to where Arthur motioned. "It's a solid chance... come on..." Mercy snagged their drinks and gave Arthur a small push towards the man in question.

If nothing else, at least Cece had these people to drink these horrors away with. From the corner of her eye, she caught a mime pass by them and it only made the desire to drink even stronger. If Cece wasn’t black-out by the 5pm, then she was clearly doing something wrong. “There’s nothing I’d want more than to do shots with you guys. Holy hell I need this. I'm clearly not drunk enough yet. Let’s keep these shots rolling, she yelled over to the silent bartender, who she had decided that she hated. So strongly. God that bartender was the worst. “Here’s to hopefully forgetting this ever happened!” She said, downing the shot.”

Felix moved back over to the bar and forewent another martini, instead opting for a straight tumbler of Jameson. He had put this monochromatic nightmare together and he was going to see it through, like any responsible Fun Supplier. When he caught Marie-Jeanne's eye, he gave her a short thumbs up. His eyes slid down the long line of the bar and the people that had gathered there. "Enjoying yourselves one way or another?" He raised his brows before he gestured to the bartender. "Bartender, top us all off, will you? I think we might be in dire need of liquid courage!"

Not enough... rats? Lydia eyed Joanne for a moment, before realising that there were rats on her shoulder. Lydia couldn't help herself, she recoiled in horror. Fucking vermin. As bad as being surrounded by humans. "Good luck giving him his gift! I hope he enjoys it!" She said, before backing away. Swiftly. Oh, so, very swiftly.

"That was interesting," Bea said to Kaden. "Sorry I didn't grab you sooner." She smiled over at Alain and Evelyn,"Hi, Alain. I don't think we've met before," She said to the woman. "I'm Beatrice," She offered a hand to shake towards Evelyn. Glancing at Kaden,"Felix can set you up with whatever you need. If you wanted that." She could grab Felix and Kaden and smoke with them both outside...

Simon, meanwhile, took the shots the one called Marley offered him but hesitated on drinking it - he hadn't even finished the one he had yet and the different sounds and smells were already mixing up his system, not to mention he still felt the burn of the first swig. So now he was up to two and a half drinks, held in spidery fingers and he couldn't help but give Cece a look of mild concern. She was... really putting those away.

Arthur took the stick without a word and took a slow inhale, exhaling the smoke to once side slowly as he tried to steady his nerves. "Fuck, this is the worst place I've ever been to and that's saying something..." He took another drag before he offered it back to her. With the light shove he made his way over to Evelyn and the guy he assumed was Kaden? "Hey Evelyn..." he smiled warmly "you look lovely as always." Noticing Bea who he hadn't seen since the beach incident he gave a small nod of acknowledgement. Ah... so this was Kaden.

Alain glanced down at Kaden's hand and wrinkled his nose. "You better take that off before you end up turning into one of these things..." His expression softened as the mime stepped away, at last, and he patted the man on the shoulder. "I don't know whose idea this is, but they'll have to suffer for what they have done to us, good taste, and human dignity." His brow shot up and he shook his head : "You really want to be drunk and high in a place like this? I'd want to be alert, if I were you..." Then turning his attention toward Bea, he smiled back at her "How have you been?"

Bo held on to Winston like a life line. She hobbled over. Shocked, mostly. When had the shots come? Winston ordered four but Bo downed all four of them. Then ordered more. "Hi guys," she smiled at them. The alcohol had not done it's work yet, but it would. Then...they would see. "Winston, I love you. Marley, I love you. Jane, I love you. Kaden...he's okay." They would all see.

Winston didn’t take too long to find themselves back with a number of their colleagues. Somehow a shot got passed into their hand and they swallowed it alongside Jane and Marley. Blanche and Nell weren’t far away but this might be the first time . Somewhat tipsily they grinned at everyone. “I’m starting to think if we do enough of these it might not be that bad.” 

Artie frowned as Kaden got up from his dance also noting they were losing their picture opportunity. "You know what? Just stand in front of a mime, I'll snap a picture we can make it our Christmas greeting card and lets shove the gift at Kaden and blow this popsicle stand."

Artie frowned as Kaden got up from his dance also noting they were losing their picture opportunity. "You know what? Just stand in front of a mime, I'll snap a picture we can make it our Christmas greeting card and lets shove the gift at Kaden and blow this popsicle stand."

Mercy followed, grinning at the lunacy going on around them. "Please... you're being dramatic," she said to Arthur as they moved through the crowd. She waved a greeting to Evelyn as well, before taking a moment to look at the poor sap who's birthday it was.

Luce frowned. "Wait, Kaden got stabbed by a mime? That's why he was in the hospital?" The fact that he was having this party, here of all places? She doubled over laughing, shaking her head at the thought. "Well. If it comes to it, I'll be right next to you. I'm not about to stab anyone though." She said, before holding her fists up jokingly. "But, I'd love to see what happens if you punch a mime in the face." She said with a shrug. But, when the mime relented and left Kaden alone, Luce couldn't help but feel a bit dissapointed. She would have loved to have a bar brawl in the Stripe Club.

Nell didn't have the best track record with Bo, having been in the back of her cop car a couple of times, but she knew she meant well enough. So she was a bit surprised when Bo downed four shots all in quick succession as she leaned around Winston. "Bo- uh- I don't know if that's a good idea." Had she ever even seen Bo drunk, before? As for taking four shots herself...well that was a different story as she picked up another one from the bar and handed a shot to Winston, as well. "I think tha's very sound logic."

Evelyn breathed a sigh of relief as the mime left, and smiled at Kaden, before turning to the woman. "Oh, it is a pleasure. I am Evelyn, you have a lovely name. Shakespearean, even if that was not the intention when naming you." "Honestly, I might need at least one shot of something," she motioned to the bartender for a small drink and took it, downing it in one go. "Luckily, I have a high tolerance."

Then Nell turned back to her sister, offering her a shot as well. "I'm honestly not sure who's idea the venue was. It seems...questionable after he got stabbed, though. Ugh- my own sister....won't even stab a mime with me. I mean...it wouldn't be the first time I punched a mime. You know this."

Luce belatedly noticed that Bo had walked up and she immediately turned to face the bartender, who seemed to be sweating heavily through his thick mime make up, clearly very busy. He pushed her the drinks she'd ordered and she slid a five dollar bill across the table. "If you need help, blink twice." She said. The mime stared at her, unblinking. Drink in one hand, Luce accepted the shot from Nell and clinked it together. "To Kaden. And to punching mimes." She tossed back the shot.

Marie-Jeanne slipped through the crowd to the bar, to the woman who smelled like chemicals. She was so pretty, and Marie-Jeanne knew instantly that her name was Cece. She smiled, touching Cece's shoulder, before waving a quick number of gestures to the bartender. He rolled his eyes, and served an invisible shot of tequila, complete with invisible lime and the very visible salt shaker. She picked up the salt shaker and shook it over her hand - no salt fell out of the visibly full shaker. Then she raised her glass in toast with Cece, licked the invisible salt, took the shot and bit on the lime, cringing. Do you want some, she gestured? Pouring out a fresh shot of invisible tequila shots for the whole group. Obviously, her eyes were on all of them, but her wide smile (Fun mime fact: Marie-Jeanne had too many teeth) was aimed entirely at Cece.

Looked over to Arthur as he made his way over, along with Mercy, Evelyn waved hello. "Well, I would say it is a pleasure to see you both, and it is, though again, I would prefer different circumstances. Plus side, they serve decent alcohol."

Joanne debated: track down Kaden to deliver her gift, or go fight the mime who got to him first? There'd be time for Kaden later, but her rats needed some fresh blood. She located one of the striped fiends who'd danced for Kaden and trailed her, figuring that her own stripes and beret afforded her some camouflage. But a gloved hand was placed around her wrist. The rats panicked, going after the mime, but there was another. And another. And another. The mimes enveloped her, and she had no choice to be swept away in a striped current.

"Drink!" Marley exclaimed to Simon. "You're falling behind!" Somehow, the bartender kept providing shots, and Marley was more than happy to suck them down. Finally feeling that tingle in her fingertips. She nudged Jane. "Feeling better yet, Newbie?" she grinned. "If you need any help, just say so." Someone was suddenly near them, someone Marley didn't care for, licking salt and smiling. Ugh, salt. She turned back to Jane. "Having fun yet?"

Arthur grimaced ever so slightly. "You and me both, I think a mime just tried to make me strip..." he shook his head a little bit still mildly traumatised at the thought. "And..." he glanced to the man nearby having heard him be addressed as such but feeling inclined to confirm just in case "you must be Kaden then? Happy birthday."

Kaden put his hand on Alain's shoulder. "Look, I need to be drunk to survive this. Do you see all this? Do you see that?!" He gestured to the room. All of it. He tried to pull the bow off his arm, no luck. Merde. He found another drink in his hand as some sort of toast was happening. Great. That was fine. He turned to the new person in their circle. "Hey, I don't know you. Yeah, that's me alright. This shit storm is all for me. So glad."

"Alcohol makes it all better," Mercy said to Evelyn. "And man who did you piss off for this debacle? I mean... it's fucking great... but holy shit..." she laughed at Kaden.

Nell glanced around to the next group over, raising her hand to take the opportunity to wave at Kaden and say, "Happy Birthday! Try not to stab anything tonight, you're doing great."

Cece felt the touch on her shoulder and turned smiling, assuming it was someone else from the department coming to join in on the drinking fun. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the worst thing that could possibly ever happen to her. “Oh. No, no. I’m definitely going to need way more alcohol to deal with this.” She shook her head and reached out, grabbing the drink from a random patron sitting at the bar. He gave her a look, but she just took a long drink from his beer, “Look, I know why I got dragged here. What’s your excuse?” She narrowed her eyes at him and went back to drinking. After more alcohol and the room had finally started spinning, she raised her glass of invisible tequila that the horrifying mime had poured and downed it. Or well, pretended to. Someone please shoot her. This was a police department. She knew someone here had a gun.

Simon didn't realise that he had shifted all three drinks to one hand as he rubbed at his nose, turning his head as that smell caught him again. Different, still new and bad but good. He snapped his head back to Marley as the latter exclaimed to him and he absently. "Oh, er... sorry," He apologised and half-heartedly took another sip, sticking his tongue out at the taste. He handed one of the shots he had BEEN handed back to Marley as he caught the mime out of the corner of his eye. He couldn't explain why but the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. It was just a mime, it was just a mime...

Red basically sprinted over to Kaden with Artie on their arm and handed the gift to Kaden. "Gotta go the kid is sick at home. This party was fucking weird. See you around dude. Good luck." Turning to Artie,"Let's go."

"Cheers to forgetting this all ever happened!" Jane agreed with Cece, knocking back another shot. She clapped Simon on the shoulder lightly, "Keep up, keep up. Or they'll get you," she said spookily, though there was some part of her that believed that. She laughed when Stryder nudged her, nodding. She felt warm and fuzzy by now, ready to settle in and watch the chaos. But if any of those things came near her, there was going to be a problem. "I wouldn't say fun," Jane said, shrugging slightly, "But a little better. If I squint things are less sparkly."

Arthur raised his hand a little and smiled, "nice to meet you Kaden... Arthur - Regan sent me an invite..." not sure why, but here he was. Hearing Mercy's remark as she arrived at his side he laughed quietly, "Mercy's right, what happened to result in this level of punishment?"

One moment, the mime that had murmured to her was there. The next she was gone? Or perhaps she was just one of the many unrecognisable mimes in the room. Either way, Lydia snapped a photo of Kaden looking traumatised to send to Deirdre, and ducked out for later.

Luce set the empty shot glass on the bar and took a long drink from her whiskey glass. Glancing down the bar, she saw the familiar red suit down the way. "I'm going to see if I can get something to liven up the party. Don't do anything I wouldn't." She joked to her sister before walking over to the red-suited man with the strange glasses. "So, you're the guy to see if we needed anything, huh?" She said with a grin and holding her glass out to clink with his.

Marley gave a loud laugh. "What? You don't like glitter, Newbie? Well," she ran her finger across the bar top, scooping up some glitter onto it, "get used to it!" And swiped her finger across Jane's cheek, leaving a streak of glitter. Laughed again, taking another shot. This was great. Maybe she would have to thank Langley after all.

Dario walked in through the front door, having completely misread the sign for this place, thinking it was a regular, old strip club, and wondering whether it might actually be any good. He didn't actually enjoy strip clubs that much, but he'd been curious. Imagine his surprise when he was greeted by nothing but...stripes And far more people that he'd expected to be in here. He recognized some of that faces, but other were lost on him. He paused there in his confusion, a simple "What the fuck" expressing his feelings on the whole matter.

Blanche decided that she was never, ever going to speak of that awful lap dance again... unless it was a few days after this and she saw the opportunity to roast the poor birthday boy. But now? IF she drank more, she could pretend only that Tyler Lautner was the only thing she had a hand in in this hell scape. She glanced at Nell. "Wait, are we stabbing a mime? I thought that wasn't allowed."

Bea was too busy staring at the woman who was being taken by mimes to pay attention to what was happening around her. When she finally looked back at the group she was in there were suddenly more people. This was one of the most overwhelming parties she'd ever been at. "Hi," She said to them all, before looking back to where the woman had been. "Did anyone else just see that lady get pulled away by mimes?"

Kaden narrowed his eyes. "So you're the pie guy, huh?" The alcohol might have been taking effect. A little. Thank god. He almost missed Red leaving. He tried to wave goodbye, he guessed. Did that mean he could leave too? No, something told him not yet. He turned back to Mercy and Arthur. "Fuck if I know. I think a certain pipsqueak is to blame. And a guy in a red suit. And my girlfriend. Maybe."

Marie-Jeanne clapped as Cece downed the shot, and immediately poured her two more, handing them to her, before beginning a sultry dance for her. She was interested, after all, she'd drunk the tequila. And maybe her friends would like them too. Then Marie-Jeanne could introduce them all to her Friend. her Friend was so hungry, after all. All of them were hungry.

"You mean Blanche??" Mercy asked. "The pipsqueak? Doesn't surprise me. She's weird like that. Good weird. She's my new assistant, did I tell you??" she suddenly said to Arthur. "I've got... a protege."

Bo could feel it. The alcohol. Finally. "PARTYYYYYYYY!!!" She screeched. She jumped forward. She kissed someone on the cheek, and then someone else. And then she ran around. Kissed some more cheeks. "PARTTTYYYYTYYYY!" She kissed a mime. Or maybe that was a chair. She thought she saw someone get taken by mines. She cheered. "TAKE US ALL AWAY MIMES!!" She was drunk, very drunk. Which was a lot for a woman that had never had a sip before. She ran off to find more cheeks that needed smooching.

Jeff never made it into the building because he showed up, saw the Mimes, Mimes, Mimes neon sign, and said "What the fucking fuck is that?" and then made the only smart decision he had ever made: He said "Fuck that" and turned around and went home, promising himself to give Kaden's birthday gift to him at a later date.

Arthur blinked tilting his head a little. Regan had mentioned that Kaden might have an issue with the pie thing but he didn't really see what the issue was. What had Regan said? That he was fragile? "Uh... Yeah I guess so? She seemed upset, so I figured it was the best thing I could do to help." He tipped his shoulder in a little shrug, not really understanding what he meant about a pipsqueak but he'd seen someone in a red suit. "That's... yeah, wow. This whole thing is... something else entirely."

As Bo began her apparent tirade through the room, Winston immediately wondered if perhaps they had encouraged a little bit too much of a good thing. Stumbling after them, they tried to keep the main group in sight. But they realised in that moment that they had somewhat lost track of time and perhaps more importantly just how much they had had to drink. "Hey Bo," they said quietly as the world swayed gently around them, "I'm gonna get some water, do you want to come get some water with me?" they could barely stand up anymore. They really hoped Bo said yes because the world was spinning a bit and they needed to sit down.

Dario winced as a near screech hurt his sensitive ears, but then he realized he recognized the shriek. "Bo?" he asked as the women went around on her tirade of cheek kissing, and he quickly darted out an arm to try and latch onto the girl and keep her from continuing this....mess. "Are you like...okay?"

Bea supposed there wasn't much to do for the lady now and shrugged it off, looking back at Kaden and then Arthur. Oh no. The pie guy was Arthur. "Oh, you made the pie. That was nice of you," She wanted to be polite but Kaden had been baking so much because of Arthur's pie and she was honestly a little concerned now that the two men were meeting.

"I'm sorry, what?" Alain looked at Beatrice, a confused look on his face. She was joking right? Although, he was soon to divert from someone possibly being abducted by mimes, hearing Kaden finally call Regan his girlfriend. "What was that?" He looked over at him, with his eyebrows raised. "Nah, Regan would never allow this. She would have planned a skeleton party or something," he observed. Much like Kaden, Alain ended up with a glass he did not ask for in his hand. Maybe he could drink that, after all. This would save him a little from this hell.

Luce ducked out of the way from Bo's cheek kissing with a grimace. Fuck that.

Simon clutched his remaining two glasses tighter, feeling Jane's hand on his shoulder but instead, he handed her his other drink firmly to ensure she didn't drop it. He kept his eyes on the mime stripper now, noting everything she was doing or rather, NOT doing. Pantomime, a talent unless it was like this. He didn't like it at all. "Ms B-- Cece," He whispered, perhaps more to himself. "I don't know about this."

With a lit joint in hand and not a single fuck to give, Felix pushed away from the bar and caught the eye of one of the mimes. He did his best to motion a cake. Apparently, it was good enough and they nodded. “Alright! Who’s ready for cake? I’m sure it’ll stack real nicely with all the tequila and whiskey, believe you me!” He took a long hit and waited. The vague music shut off and enveloped the room in a thick silence. Until slightly squeaky wheels, amplified by the quiet, squeaked in the distance. In rolled a large cake. A cake large enough to fit a mime. No one seemed to be actually rolling it, as a gaggle of mime strippers made vague pushing motions behind it. It moved on its own. Tall candles sparkled a top of it. The cake came to a stop in front of Kaden and Felix started to grin. The mimes that had been 'pushing' the cake started to make accordion motions to some distant tune of Happy Birthday as a mime, barely clad, started to slither their way from the top. It didn’t even sound like it was in the same building. The fae smirked at Luce and clinked glasses. “Absolutely anything,” he said. “Whatcha got in mind to really spice this up?”

Mercy wanted pie. Why didn't she have any pie? Who was screaming?? Was it a fun scream? Or a death scream? She couldn't tell.

Jane watched as Marley stuck her finger in the glitter, before - "Don't you dare!" she said, before she scowled at Marley. "You just - did you just - .... I'm sparkly now." Jane said, the alcohol making it hard to really process what the fuck that was. Jane grabbed a pinch of glitter and sprinkled it on Marley's shirt. "There, now you're sparkly too - oh NO. Bo!" Jane said, in horror, pointing. "We should go get her."

Bea watched in horror as Felix made an announcement with a lit joint in his hand. "This is a cop party!" She mouthed at him, eyes wide, hoping he would get the memo that that was not a good idea in front of them. "What the heck?" She whispered as the cake began to pull up in front of Kaden. "Do mimes have magic?"

Oh. Cake. A... fucking... wow, that was a big cake. Now Mercy wanted cake. Wait... did she? When did it get quiet? Was she talking to herself? Or out loud?

Arthur furrowed his brow a little bit, was there some kind of context he was missing here? He looked to Bea and smiled, polite if not a little reserved trying to understand what he was missing out of the situation. "Uh... thanks? I think? Just a once off... I don't know Regan well so..." he shrugged again, slightly awkwardly. The moment was cut off by the arrival of the cake and Arthur stared at it in mounting horror. Why was he by Kaden at this point? Good gods above... This was something else entirely and he had no words to describe it. 

Marley watched as Bo took off. Oh, she should've realized that Bo was a lightweight. Oops. Shrugging, she turned back to Jane. "Nah, looks like the computer guy and Mister Pecs have that covered," she said, pointing towards the two scurrying after the drunken Bo. "Hey, I don't need sparkles. I already have the MOST sparkly personality in the entire precinct," she said with a deadpan stare. "See?" Before sprinkling more glitter on Jane.

"Oi! No fucking... the fucking cake.... you... fucks..." Mercy promptly threw her glass at one of the mimes. The mime somehow slithered to the side, and the sound of breaking glass echoed through the eerie silence. The mimes did not notice. Only continued their mimery.

Winston stumbled as they noticed the cake, Nell was saying something about it being defiled and if Winston knew mimes, which they didn't, then this wasn't beyond the realms of possibility with them. "Really?" they slurred, reaching up to adjust their glasses somewhat haphazardly, "Is nothing sacred anymore?" they stumbled towards the bar, hoping there would be something non alcoholic they could eat.

Luce stared at the cake that the red suited man had brought in with growing horror. Fuck. Taking a long drink from her glass, she turned to the culprit. At this point, she was going to take whatever she could get to make sure that she never remembered seeing anyof this. "Drugs. Drugs to forget... all of that." She said, gesturing to Kaden, to the cake, to the cursed fucking mimes. "What would you recommend?"

Marie-Jeanne turned as the cake rolled in, miming applause. Her face slowly went blank. Her eyes widened and stopped moving. The silent music inside her stilled. it wasn't just her. It was many of them. Watching, silently, the miming writhing stripers (spelling entirely correct).

Oh yeah, Cece was totally about to get back alley murdered by this creepy ass mime. She had been way too excited about that fake alcohol. Had she just gotten mime roofied? She did feel more drunk, but maybe that was just a placebo effect. Or all the other alcohol she had consumed. She heard Simon behind her speaking, but it mostly came out as a buzzing noise instead of actual words. “I’m-it’s fine. We’re fine.” She waved away the someone, she wasn’t sure what direction she was facing at this point. What the hell had that fake shot glass been? Oh fuck, was this mime magic? Shit that’d actually be kinda cool if it wasn’t the worst. “Simon, my friend. Cece says that she’s fucked up.” And then, because horrible decisions were a cornerstone of her character apparently, she mimed drinking the other too fake glasses.

"Arthur, as nice as you are to look at, the idea of you stripping is about seven-thousand shades of 'absolutely not' in my book." Evelyn raised an eyebrow. "Yes, somehow I do not feel as though Regan would be the sort to organize this." Alain had gotten a drink, somehow - but wasn't he not drinking? Hadn't he told her that? "You are so kind to get me something else to drink." She said, raising an eyebrow at him, a grin crossing her lips as she took the drink out of his hand, her fingers brushing lightly against his. She downed that drink too, though then she couldn't help but watch as a cake was brought out and - no, absolutely not - she looked over to Alain. "Would you like to stay, or should we use this as a chance to get away?"

Arthur shook his head at Evelyn's remark and huffed "right? in your books and mine, don't worry." The clatter of glass however made him wince as he looked aside at Mercy, before muttering under his breath "make a scene why don't you?" The mimes just seemed to continue their mimeockery oblivious to the act.

Mercy turned to stare at the side of Arthur's face. "Make a scene? What's that supposed to mean??"

"I think... I think everyone here is going to need therapy." Bea said softly.

Felix tilted his head and knowingly smiled at Luce. “I’ve got some Blue Velvet,” he said as he pulled out a very small bag of said drug, as well as a handful of rolling papers. “You’ll feel better about the whole thing, cake and the candles. Got a party discount of fifteen, because I might need it too. You in? Also got more than a few mushrooms to go around of the blue, red, and purple variety.”

The glass shattering also made Simon grimace if only because it was an unexpected noise after silence. He shook his head, wrenching his gaze away from the nightmarish... thing they rolled out and called a cake and he set his half-empty glass on the bar. "Cece, I think we should go," He said with more urgency, placing a hand on her shoulder this time. He would apologise later.

Alain looked over as the mimes did... things with what was meant to be the birthday cake. His eyes rolled at the sight of it. Gross. He had always hated those cakes with icing and fancy designs that Americans were so fond of. "Yeah, I'm not enduring anymore of this, especially not for a bland vanilla cake," he did not protest one bit as she took the drink from his hands. He was actually thankful, and even more so now that he had a good reason to leave. "Let's get out of here," he agreed.

Bo screamed in Winston's face. "I LOVE YOUUUUUU". She turned to Dario. "You're like so hot. Like hotter than all these mimes, and these mimes are pretty hot." And then she ran off again. More cheeks to kiss. Was that Evelyn? She'd smooch that evil cheek. Did she see Luce? Nell? Those were cheeks to kiss. That guy over there? Lonely cheek. "PARTTTTYYYYY!" She screamed again. Bo stood up on a table, "ONE TIME KADEN BLASTED MAMMA MIA THROUGH THE STATION AND HE WAS SINGING ALONG AND I'M SENDING YOU ALL THE VIDEOOOOO!!" Then she tumbled off the table. She paused. "Ooh. Cake."

Luce let out a sigh of relief. At least Mr. Red Suit wasn't some shitty undercover cop or something. The thought had crossed her mind, but honestly, jail probably would have been a welcome sight from this hellhole. "Blue Velvet sounds great to me. I'm Luce, by the way." She said with a nod. "Mushrooms aren't my thing though. But, consider me down to clown." She grimaced. "Or mime, I guess."

Arthur gestured vaguely to Mercy, "I mean that... You. You know?" He was distracted soon enough by a woman as she climbed up on the table announcing something about Mamma Mia... "Ooookay, on that note... I think we should... get going?"

Bea turned to Kaden,"Did you actually do that?" She had been at the Silver Bullet and they loved ABBA. She supposed it made sense if he loved them too.

"Me? What about me? Are you implying that I..." Mercy huffed. "I don't make sce-" SHe blinked at the woman on the table. "That's a scene."

Kaden wasn't ready for any of this. Not any of it. "Well I'm sure it was incredible," he told Arthur. He caught the vibe from Bea to be nice but he didn't give a shit. He made a promise to have fun, right? This was fun. Maybe. That cake was fucking cursed. This whole place was cursed. And so was Bo, apparently. "Maybe," he grumbled to Bea. "Did Felix say something about drugs, did I hear that right? Super hearing. Your sister's doing drugs right now by the way."

Wasting no time at all, Felix rolled the both of them a nice blue cigarette and handed one to her. "Enjoy. You might try walking into some walls and stuff, but compared to the rest of this mime shit show, wouldn't be the worst. Pleasure to meet you, Luce. I'm Felix, the reason everyone is currently suffering. Pretty fun, right?"

Normally, Dario would enjoy a pretty girl calling him hot. But Bo was absolutely blitzed, it seemed. One moment she was there, and the next she was off again, leaving him in vaugely concerned confusion. At least she didn't seem to be a danger to herself. Then she tumbled off the table. "Shit," he cursed under his breath, trying to follow her like her own personal nanny or something. "That looked like it could have hurt." Absently, he looked towards the woman pointing towards Bo, frowning in her direction. "Pretty sure throwing a glass out of nowhere is more of a scene than getting on a table."

Evelyn nodded in agreement with Alain. "That cake looks terrible - perhaps you should send Kaden something better, since the two of you are both excellent at baking. I bet he would appreciate that." She waved a goodbye to Kaden, making a mental note to send him really good alcohol and probably many other things later, before she looked back to Alain. "Yes, I agree. We should get out of here. You are welcome to come over, I have coffee and tea and no mimes."

Alain handed the box that contained the striped Breton shirt to Kaden. Following after Evelyn, he nodded. "Sounds like a plan. We can discuss this fiasco over coffee, tea, and better cake."

Bo passed out in the corner.

All of the mimes had stopped moving. Only the mimes that continued to slither out of the cake still moved, and the ones playing accordions. The mimes all looked to Kaden and his party. Every single one of them. Marie-Jeanne walked over to the cake, picking up an invisible plate and knife as she walked, swaying her stripey hips. She mimed slicing into the cake, and again, and slid an invisible slice of cake onto her invisible cake. She turned her blank face to Kaden, stepped forward, and hurled the slice at him, where it splattered all over his features. The cake was still whole, but somehow, he was visibly covered in icing and cake crumbs. She laughed, silently, her eyes fixed on him. What a fun birthday party!

#wickedswriting #chatzy

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [AM of last day, after getting bollocked by Mr. Lucas for all the shenanigans they pulled in his room on his tings, 'cos he probably would've separated them, put them on different jobs or whatever] Janis: This is what we get for trying to help him with his fashion choices Jimmy: ungrateful knobhead, him Jimmy: soz you don't look 🥇 in green, sir Jimmy: get your own fake missus Janis: worked out so well the first time... 💍💔 Jimmy: 💰 on there being loads of Russian virgins in his area who wanna 🗨 Janis: when he's done 🤤💦 on his keyboard, Gracie can scalp them and make a new weave Janis: we all win Janis: personally 🥳 to spend that much time with him, like Jimmy: 👏🏆 Jimmy: me an' all, you I can take or leave, obvs Janis: I can epically dump you in front of his own 👀 Janis: win him back and all, bloody love that Jimmy: then when he rings my dad to relay this bollocking and owt else that takes his fancy they can get a bromance going and go for a 🍻 to slag me off Jimmy: chuffed to bits Jimmy: I'll have loads of time to crack onto them virgins myself Janis: LOVE that for them Janis: less about you being that sort of boy tbh, but we can try to work it into the storyline Jimmy: we can keep it between us, it's alright Janis: keep it between you and the Russian virgins, weirdo Jimmy: there ain't gonna be nowt between me and them Jimmy: no need to 💍💔 like our BFF Janis: not even a hymen Janis: romantic that Janis: put it in 🎶🎨📸🖋 boy Jimmy: no can do Jimmy: only got the one muse Janis: s'a insta caption if I ever heard one 💘 Jimmy: keep it in my back pocket for the next 🌧 day then Janis: yeah Janis: if we still need it then, plenty of time to 🗭 when you're meant to be writing lines instead, like Jimmy: where do you 🗭 you live, girl? It'll probably be 🌧 before we even get back Janis: always look on the ⛅ me Janis: just the positive person I am Jimmy: said before you're my ray of ☀ Janis: if I realized there would be a test, I would've studied, babe Janis: love a 🤓 moment, you Jimmy: piss off do I Jimmy: love nerd flirting with me, you Janis: maybe Janis: only 'cos it 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Mia so much Jimmy: wonder how that lad's feeling, if he can feel owt Janis: if it's anything like itchiness and stinging when he pisses, better get him home sooner rather than later Jimmy: really restored my faith in romance, that Jimmy: might have to try and 🎨📸🖋 any road Janis: not a subtle hint either, by the way Jimmy: what? Janis: never mind Jimmy: go on Janis: just saying not telling you you need to go get your dick swabbed, or whatever Janis: joking, obvs Jimmy: funny Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: not riddled with owt either in case you were waiting for that punchline an' all Janis: 👍 Janis: weren't, but always good to know these things Jimmy: there you go then Janis: genuinely ain't seen him today though so Janis: welfare check ain't far from the truth Jimmy: She'll have got 💀#2 and the rest to help her hide the body by now Janis: be hell to pay if they've messed up the turf here Janis: not taking the blame for that one, like Janis: got a 😇 rep to protect Jimmy: Oi, do it for the reconciliation with your true love Jimmy: full term ain't gonna be enough when it's that #deepandmeaningful Janis: I can think of plenty of ways to stay in trouble and he can think of even more punishments Janis: just that 😍😍 Jimmy: I get that you're fated, don't need to rub it in Jimmy: here I were reckoning we were the starcrossed ones but its been you and him all along Jimmy: 😭🎻💔 Janis: be such a good plotline if he were actually fit Janis: make the best of it but 🤢🤢 Jimmy: soz mate I can't talk to you for a bit Jimmy: that gutted I am Janis: piss poor excuse but alright Jimmy: how is our 💕 being a sham a piss poor excuse? bit rude Janis: you should be over the 🌙 Janis: what it's meant to be, we're #killingit Jimmy: you're killing me Janis: you 💘 that too Janis: so good to you Jimmy: that'll be why I wanna keep hold of you Jimmy: but alright, you can stop begging I'll fight him Janis: he's spoiling for it, like Janis: thought he might actually bust a blood vessel earlier Jimmy: ⚔️ Jimmy: Bill's 👻 will be dead proud Janis: make two of us #boydonegood Jimmy: you were rooting for him a bit ago Jimmy: #fakefan Janis: keep you on your toes Janis: or him Janis: adds to the mystique, yeah Jimmy: I'm 🥇🥊 and you're well fit and mysterious, save it Janis: 😏🤔 hang on Jimmy: ? Janis: not sure if we're yet at that #goals level of co-dependent where our personalities are interchangeable Jimmy: better hang about for a bit then Janis: gotta go home Janis: 😭🎻💔😭🎻💔 Jimmy: we've got all day that's loads of time Jimmy: chin up ☀ Janis: true Janis: gotta go out with a 💥 Jimmy: Started already with how optimistic I were there Jimmy: we'll do it piss easy Jimmy: no dickhead'll know who's who and who 🗭 what Janis: we LOVE morphing into one person! Jimmy: that's the spirit Jimmy: 👻 girl Janis: vampire boy Jimmy: fuck me, that ain't the one Jimmy: been pissed all over Janis: just can't let being 😎 go, can you Jimmy: you can't let me either, babe, it's #ultimategoals Janis: think of a new, better nickname then, brb Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [some kind of generator moment] Janis: what's grabbing ya? Jimmy: What kind of grab is it meant to be? Janis: something that screams YOU Janis: and #ultimategoals naturally Jimmy: 😏🤔 Janis: UGH, BABE Janis: so picky, omg 🤭 Jimmy: Baby, I'm sorry Jimmy: I just want it to be perfect Janis: YOU'RE perfect Jimmy: You Janis: think they'll let us work together today Jimmy: can't stop us, your ankle ain't healed itself in the night Janis: and what is a top boyfriend if not a glorified crutch Jimmy: when he's as 💪🏆 as me it ain't even a job, just comes that natural Janis: write that on the review Jimmy: Alright Janis: might count as a reference Janis: wouldn't you just LOVE to work here Jimmy: 🚫☕😱😱 Jimmy: #whoamI? Janis: it's like your whole personality is just...gone?? Janis: 😬 Jimmy: that apron is my WHOLE identity Jimmy: can't even 👀 me now 👻💔 Janis: 🤚 💘 ✋ Jimmy: you need to come here I'm FREAKING OUT!! Janis: alright Janis: hold tight Jimmy: can't, I'm just a floating pair of shades Janis: float towards me then Jimmy: [does, soz not soz Mr Lucas] Janis: [being extra checking he's still here] Jimmy: [being extra too like can you feel this] Janis: [😳 to make it clear you do] Jimmy: [taking the deepest breath ever like oh I'm so relieved but really we just gotta calm down whenever we see the bae] Janis: [when you slept together and slept together before being rudely awoken by Mr Lucas so we all need moments] Jimmy: [how dare you sir, but we just holding her like I gotta so I don't float away and disappear so you can't ruin it bye] Janis: [snuggling him like I got you] Jimmy: [brb having emotions me and Jimothy both because he's just thinking this will be over after today hence not letting go] Janis: [we're all gutted and tryna pretend we ain't] Jimmy: [don't cry though boy there's no styling that out] Janis: [I think that some popular kid should invite them to a party that's like, soon as they get back today or whatever so it's like prolonging this day but they still think that'll be it but then they slay that party obvs so then they end up doing all they do in the hols] Jimmy: [I love that and it makes perfect sense] Janis: 😎😎 #confirmed Jimmy: THANK GOD Jimmy: touch and go for a bit there, weren't it? Janis: 🥣 Janis: juuuuuuust right, goldilocks Jimmy: Oi it's daddy 🐻 or nowt Janis: [😂] Janis: not 💀👑 Janis: can't sign off on that Jimmy: [IRL pout] Jimmy: 💔 Janis: what about baby 🐻 Janis: compromise Jimmy: [🖋 in the air like he's signing off on it] Janis: [👍] Jimmy: have we earned a fucking break yet or what? Jimmy: takes the piss, this Janis: 🚬🚬 Janis: reckon so Janis: [getting up even if we gotta lie about a pissbreak or whatever] Jimmy: [likewise because no fucks given at this point or ever like I gotta give her a hand she can't walk if anyone cares] Janis: [big sigh like thank god] Jimmy: [we outta here for however long we can get away with suck it sir] Janis: [take that break lads] Jimmy: [gotta sit down purely so he can put her ankle up on his leg cos gotta elevate that] Janis: ['how's it looking, less fat?'] Jimmy: [little lol but 👀ing at it 'how's it feel, any less of a ball ache?'] Janis: [nods 'like it never happened' not quite but you know] Jimmy: ['I can finally sign off of nursing you back to health then' when you keep thinking about the end of this but emphasis on finally like thank fuck] Janis: ['mission accomplished' like everyone is so 😍 for it and that's the only reason you did] Jimmy: ['post us my award when you get chance, nowt to rush over' with a shrug] Janis: ['got to make it first'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like there we are merging again cos he's an art hoe] Janis: [little 😏 'wait 'til you see it, like'] Jimmy: ['can't' cos so excited clearly] Janis: [shakes her head like oh you Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['what are you gonna do when you get out then?' taking a drag on that 🚬] Jimmy: ['the question were meant to be what are you in for' and likewise] Janis: [look like, if you feel like answering that, go ahead] Jimmy: [a look in the direction of wherever they saw Mr Lucas last like there's that answer] Janis: [rolls eyes in said direction 'same'] Jimmy: [an exaggerated what can you do? gesture] Janis: [finger gun in her mouth like pow] Jimmy: [😍 and 💔 mime before doing his own finger gun against his head] Janis: [miming waking up miraculously like whoopsie] Jimmy: [playing dead dramatically] Janis: [moving closer to shake him like noooooo] Jimmy: [playing even deader give him an oscar tbh] Janis: [fake slapping him across the face in that dramatic way they do] Jimmy: ['I get it, you're going for the oscar' but said as he still lies in his dead position] Janis: ['nah, just really wanna slap ya' but we're cradling his head in our lap] Jimmy: [looking up at her 'go on then'] Janis: [pushes his face away like no] Jimmy: [gets up like alright, suit yourself] Janis: [awkward silence] Jimmy: [we just 🚬] Janis: [checking the DMs etc] Jimmy: [checking in with Cass and to see if Ian's kicking off yet] Janis: [hold on sir, they back soon] Jimmy: [thank god they're going straight to that party] Janis: [lol soz about it] Jimmy: [lol not soz about it] Janis: [can potentially skip to bus home it's up to you/if you have any ideas for before they leave?] Jimmy: [I feel like we should do a final activity they can slay as a team/duo because haven't been able to since day 1 and that's rude] Janis: [I vibe, potentially should have a flat white on the team too though] Jimmy: [let's have Ella because she'd be devastated] Janis: [so much deadweight on this team, have to actually swag it despite your real injury] Jimmy: [that was my thought, cos maybe another random girl who's also useless for different reasons] Janis: [pop off lads carry team to undeserved victory] Jimmy: [love that for you, happy nerds] Janis: [now go pack your things] Jimmy: 🏆🥇💪💕 Jimmy: well impressive, you Janis: 🤤😍 genuine ✔ Jimmy: Oi, take my genuine compliment, dickhead Janis: let me be genuinely grateful how I wanna be, boy Janis: maybe I got you a prize for being 🏆🥇💪 yourself Jimmy: Soz girl, didn't realise you had Ben in there helping you pack Jimmy: come find me for the #🎁reveal in a bit Jimmy: 🤞 he ain't it Janis: well, rude and ungrateful Janis: poor Ben just wants a fond sexual experience to look back on to avoid the PTSD Jimmy: him and that lad Mia killed, they'll have to couple up Janis: in therapy, maybe Janis: have to wait 'til the bus now Janis: back to the drawing board 😤 Jimmy: I said soz Janis: 😏 Janis: sincere Jimmy: I know Jimmy: right from my 💘 that Janis: as is my gift Jimmy: 👍 Janis: better react more than that Jimmy: make me, Juliet Janis: not giving you a fake handjob under the hoodie Janis: classier than that, ty Jimmy: don't sound goals enough Jimmy: it were you who said go out with a 💥 not a 💦 Janis: exactly Janis: 🤯 Jimmy: be alright, no need to impress me, just the #fans Jimmy: piss easy that Janis: no need maybe Janis: want, obviously Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: so real Jimmy: as real as you want Janis: depends Jimmy: on what? Janis: you seen 💀👑 & #2 leave their room yet? Jimmy: haven't been 👀 Janis: we could say goodbye to their room, like Janis: if they have Jimmy: hang on Janis: 👍 Jimmy: they're in Asia's, should've guessed she can't pack by herself Jimmy: be like getting a hyper kid to do it Janis: can't have her leaving behind her toothbrush Janis: essential in every way Janis: you wanna then? Jimmy: do you wanna? Janis: was my idea Jimmy: so come on Janis: [meet there kids] Jimmy: [what a good idea and a #mood boo] Janis: [when it's not even the place you are first meant to have hooked up, but the actual, so we all know what you're saying there gal] Jimmy: [checking under Mia's pillow to see if those pills are still there in case the bae needs them] Janis: ['toothfairy?' 😏 'probably fit to crumble out soon'] Jimmy: [exaggerated shudder that's not that exaggerated because Mia is that gross and we're tucking the pills back in her pocket for that intimate moment ™] Janis: [just looking down at said pocket] Jimmy: [looking at her like ? cos you think she doesn't want them/is offended] Janis: [shaking her head like never mind] Jimmy: ['what?' cos we're not letting it drop] Janis: [shushing him and hopping on that bed like, what we're here for] Jimmy: [getting on the bed too but still lowkey like are you mad at me thoooooo] Janis: [waiting for him to make the first move, 'cos he's either gonna just do it or 📸 out] Jimmy: [does not get his 📸 out and kisses her anyway] Janis: [live your best life lads, though you should be stopped by one of them coming back 'cos forgot something] Jimmy: [1000000000% agree] Janis: [we know either would make sufficient fuss that everyone knows yet again how #goals and #inlove you're being so mission accomplished but you still mad you been cockblocked we know] Jimmy: [especially because you think that was your last chance cos for real not gonna hook up on the coach however much you wanna] Janis: [mhmmmm] Jimmy: [at least you're allowed to be 😒 as both Mia and Ella would be so annoying about it] Janis: [at least you know that calling Pablo is not goals this time 'round bitch] Jimmy: [spare us and also at least Grace can be sitting on her own again because she's on the shit list after this trip so don't have to deal with any of y'all] Janis: [we all know you cheated sloog] Jimmy: [anyway a girl flirting with Jimothy by inviting him to her party as they are waiting to get on this coach, how rude madam, Janis is right there] Janis: [😒 on this bus] Jimmy: [nudging her cos you know they sitting next to each other] Janis: [just getting your phone out and doing that thing where you raise your head but not your eyes like so non-commital can I help you?] Jimmy: ? Janis: what? Jimmy: What? Janis: you capitalizing at me? Jimmy: I did do Janis: still doesn't make your point any clearer though Jimmy: don't take the piss Janis: [looks up like whatttttt] Jimmy: [whispers 'what's wrong?' in her ear so that they don't get outted for casually having a domestic and also because it's a saucy thing to do] Janis: ['nothing' but taking the trouble to whisper back] Jimmy: [leaning in like he's gonna whisper again but moving her hair out of the way and playing with it as we do obvs and drawing a ? on the skin that he uncovers cos he don't believe you gal] Janis: [acting like that tickled well more than it possibly could to get out of answering, like omg stop it] Jimmy: [actually does tickle her then like tell me] Janis: [loling and kicking like watch out] Jimmy: [just making sure her ankle is okay like steady on] Janis: [🙄 but with that fake affection like this boy] Jimmy: [snuggling into her like yeah I know I'm so extra but it's only because I'm so 😍 but really we are hiding that we're annoyed she won't tell him what's wrong] Janis: [patting his head which is such blatant there there vibes we know] Jimmy: [hidden 😒] Janis: you gonna go then? Jimmy: fancy it? Janis: I weren't invited Jimmy: I just invited you Janis: not your party to be inviting people to Jimmy: you don't wanna come then? Janis: not what I said Jimmy: what you said sounded like some health and safety bollocks though so Jimmy: no need to run the numbers, mate Janis: if I was wanted, she'd have asked herself, sat right here weren't I Jimmy: if I want you, will you stop sitting there with a face on? Janis: not the point, is it Janis: [but looks up like ?] Jimmy: isn't it? Janis: do you want to go? Jimmy: where's your answer? Janis: ♟ Jimmy: [another nudge] Janis: [nudges him back with her bad foot like try me] Jimmy: [looks down at it with a furrowed brow] Jimmy: I get it, you're 💔 you can't dance Jimmy: should've said Janis: fuck off am I Janis: sure you're well 😎 on the dancefloor Jimmy: [😏 even though we know he can't dance she doesn't yet so] Jimmy: Alright, you like to watch #kinkunlocked Janis: 😒 Janis: no, and you can tell your mate that and all Jimmy: I don't reckon Bill's 👻 is that fussed, Jules Jimmy: tends to give the directions, him Janis: 🐻 Jimmy: 👋 Janis: oh no, the bear has eaten your face off Jimmy: @ Mia's dad Jimmy: gonna need compensation Janis: it is your only 💰 maker Jimmy: bit rude Janis: blame the 🐻 for being a bear, alright Jimmy: blame you for bringing him about, more like Janis: it's your dad Janis: baby 🐻 Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Jimmy: he's got competition for being the biggest dickhead of a dad 🎻 Janis: a competition most dads 'round here could go in for Jimmy: 🤞 Mia's wins Janis: what's the prize? Jimmy: golf clubs Jimmy: you can 💀💀💀 'em when you've had enough Janis: fun for all the family Janis: won at life so sure he will again Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't be 💔 Jimmy: I ain't my 2 dads are Janis: Lucas will take 'em for a pint Jimmy: he got any kids? could enter an' all Janis: dunno Janis: be like older than my mum if they are Janis: 'less he's having loads on the sly Jimmy: all them poor Russian virgins 🤰👶 Jimmy: like a factory Janis: ain't sending 'em no rubles Jimmy: real 💔 that Janis: mhmm Janis: you wanna add to their woes by trying to flirt with them Janis: shameful Jimmy: I don't flirt with no lass, they crack onto me Janis: oh god Jimmy: deny it Jimmy: [shows her all the DMs like see] Janis: that's girls who are ⬇ you Janis: not girls you're interested in Jimmy: not actually interested in any Russian virgins, soz to burst your bubble, dickhead Janis: more fool you Jimmy: fill your own boots, like Jimmy: loads in the area if the ads are owt to go by Janis: 🖕🖕 Janis: need neither your leftovers nor your permission, tah Jimmy: you're alright, I weren't offering neither Janis: fill your own boots, like Janis: case and point Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: you sound like 💀👑 Jimmy: you can have my permission to go to law school if you're gonna keep being a twat Janis: piss off Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: 👋 Janis: [like we ain't sat together Jimmy: give me a bell when you've graduated harvard or wherever Jimmy: might come in handy Janis: sounds about right Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: meaning if I went off and got a law degree, I don't reckon I'd have time to fake date you Jimmy: never said that you'd have to Janis: whatever favour you need then then Jimmy: forget it, I'll use the free time I'll have when you've done one to win over Mia's dad Janis: 💡 Jimmy: 🥇 as per, me Jimmy: no need to go on about it, babe Janis: keep dreaming, new boy Jimmy: [puts his head on her shoulder and closes his eyes like okay then] Janis: [sigh like it's contented] Jimmy: [staying put stubbornly even though he obviously isn't going to sleep lol] Janis: [leaving this for a bit but then] Janis: we probably should Janis: if you're going, I mean Janis: should go together Jimmy: weren't planning to Jimmy: but if you wanna Janis: not hugely but Janis: if we didn't, we'd have to think up something more goals to be doing instead of or they'd fill in the blank of it Janis: this is the easiest option Jimmy: right Jimmy: and she don't want you there, so you should be Janis: bit petty but Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: you said it, you were there when she asked me Janis: yeah Janis: don't care if she wants to suck you off though, do I Jimmy: don't you? Janis: suppose in theory I have to Jimmy: just fake the 😒 face you had on a bit ago, that'll do Janis: I'd rather smack her Janis: but I know how to do it, been here the whole time, like Jimmy: go on, long as you don't fuck up your decent ankle there's no need for me to hold you back or up Janis: not the kind of fake girlfriend I am Jimmy: suit yourself Janis: it'd make you look good, and me like a dick Jimmy: didn't say you had to do it with an audience Janis: don't matter Janis: not gonna tell everyone she tripped, is she Jimmy: Dunno, don't know her Janis: girls aren't like that Janis: a lad has pride and will keep their mouth shut Jimmy: leave it out with her then Jimmy: like you said, what do you care? all just bollocks Janis: like I said, you come out fine, she treated me like a twat, that's why Janis: she don't know I don't care, that's the point Jimmy: Alright, let's make her look a bigger twat Jimmy: how? Janis: Good question Jimmy: 🗭💡🥇 Jimmy: What'd get to a lass like her? 🤔 Janis: if her party was a flop Jimmy: we could do that Janis: can we do that without everyone else knowing it's us doing that though Janis: that's the trick Jimmy: we got caught doing all that bollocks 'cause we wanted to Janis: 'course Jimmy: challenge accepted then Jimmy: but it won't be Janis: naturally she'll be well devastated when you don't shag her Jimmy: She'll live Janis: 😢 but aiming for 😭 so we need the rest Jimmy: every dickhead knows I only want you by now Jimmy: she's taking the piss Janis: yeah Jimmy: you'll live an' all Janis: don't be telling me what to do Janis: 😏 Jimmy: wouldn't be very #goals that Janis: you're telling me Janis: though they'd like it Jimmy: hang on, I'll @ you my instructions Jimmy: they can give it a like Janis: 🤮🤮🤮 Janis: some things work better as a DM, babe Jimmy: [DM's her but it just says hey] Janis: 😂 Janis: don't quit your day job to become a master, like Jimmy: don't need your permission either, Judith Janis: you'll need loads of training Jimmy: piss off will I Janis: 👌👌 Janis: calm down Janis: not given me nothing to go on there Jimmy: [gives her something 🔥🔥 to go on cos challenge accepted] Janis: no need for that Jimmy: you said I hadn't given you nowt Jimmy: there you go Jimmy: 🎁💕 Janis: [a LOOK] Janis: just Janis: rude Jimmy: [a LOOK back cos always] Jimmy: you gonna give me the one you owe me at this party or what? Janis: nah, have it now, hold on Janis: [my idea was something she stole from someone's room that she didn't put in the collective kitty but I can't fully think what yet] Jimmy: [I'll let you off cos I've been there and whatever it is he's gonna be shooketh in a good way so] Janis: [hmm, maybe a screw off Mia's bed, something like that, like no reason to but for the mems] Jimmy: [when you can just kiss her because there's a coach full of people about to use as the excuse we're past needing] Janis: [enjoy that as you fully got cockblocked earlier lads and you aren't over it] Jimmy: [even if some idiot cheers you won't care] Janis: [didn't even when it was fully 'fake' so not caring now you actually wanna] Jimmy: [exactly and likewise what is Mr Lucas gonna do, you're already in detention forever] Janis: [nearly home just leave 'em alone for a hot sec sir] Jimmy: [you'll regret it if you don't sir because they'd be fuming] Janis: [already tieless so watch out] Jimmy: [I doubt they're the only couple on this entire trip so calm down] Janis: [even if most people would have a shade more decorum 'cos not tryna be THE couple, still lol] Jimmy: [at least Pablo didn't come on the trip because he and Mia are the anti couple] Janis: [thank god he's in the year above if we stick to when he was born before] Jimmy: [might as well tbh] Janis: [we know the twins were the biggest mistake of all soz ladies] Jimmy: [not forgiving Caleb for treating Ali like that in her grief] Janis: [yeah that was fucked hence no one can grieve you properly, along with the rest] Jimmy: [anyways he should teach her some more sign language insults because people on this coach are annoying af] Janis: [doing it at this girl] Jimmy: [he'd be so amused] Janis: [so jealous] Jimmy: [she's so brazen like they are the talk of this trip gal what do you think you're doing] Janis: [when you think you that bad, I think not honey] Jimmy: [egg on your face when he brings her to your party and they make sure you're a flop] Janis: [makes your party all about them, like have you been here on this trip or] Jimmy: [love it, it's what you deserve for trying to make Janis look a fool/steal her man] Janis: [tbh] Jimmy: [is there any other coach moments/convos we wanna have?] Janis: [we probably got the jealousy across well, and it's bound to be more of the shameless kissing 'cos you can vibe? so we can probably skip to when they've had to go home for the hottest of secs before this party?] Jimmy: [I'm fine with that cos you know he gotta go sort his siblings out and have a fight with Ian if he's there or steal his stash again if he's not on top of putting on a #lewk for this party] Janis: [exactly, likewise you do have to see your mum for a hot sec and slay on this hoe now obvs] Jimmy: [sends her a ridiculous outfit selfie of something he's absolutely not gonna wear to this party cos he's a nerd] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: so torn between telling you it's perfect and the fact I will have to pretend I'm 😍 to see you Jimmy: you have to pretend you're 😍 to see me any road Janis: yeah Janis: sadly only think it's funny if it makes your life harder though, not mine so Jimmy: back to the drawing board Janis: 😱 the 😎 isn't effortless?! Janis: 💔 Jimmy: not trying to please myself, just you Jimmy: nowt effortless about that Janis: you calling me high-maintenance? Jimmy: if the 😒 fits, Julie Janis: not gonna apologize for having standards, new boy Jimmy: weren't asking you to Janis: wouldn't be wise Janis: that outfit come with a 🤐? Jimmy: [sends her a selfie of him with his hoodie zipped over his head like this one does] Janis: much better Janis: some would say 👍 Jimmy: *🥇 Jimmy: Good job I've got 2 then Janis: s'alright, not gonna keep it for the mems Janis: took 2 🔩s Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say it were alright 'cause you took Helena's meds out the pocket Janis: that goes without saying Janis: who am I Jimmy: exactly why it threw me for a sec, mate Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: What you rolling your eyes at me for? Janis: not a druggie, tah very much Jimmy: never said you necked 'em, did I? Janis: whatever Jimmy: don't get another strop on Janis: don't you start Janis: leave it, alright Janis: meet you outside hers Jimmy: Alright Janis: are all that lot invited too? Jimmy: Dunno Janis: not gonna hope but Jimmy: 🤞 they are or ain't? Janis: had enough of 'em for a lifetime Janis: but 🐓 🦃 🦚 🦜 🦢 🦩 one stone Jimmy: could 📌 it on 'em why the party was shite Janis: not a stretch at all, yeah Janis: my sister's parties are famously shit and they all get wasted after a drink Jimmy: 🤞 they got their golden tickets an' all then Janis: 💀👑 the type to invite herself regardless Jimmy: 💰💰💰 Janis: shameless Janis: got that in common with the hostess anyway Jimmy: she another rich girl? Janis: no idea Jimmy: you know owt about her? Janis: nothing we can use, I don't reckon Janis: barely know who she is, if I'm honest Jimmy: be alright, crap parties are a piece of piss compared to 😎🚬 ones Janis: standard, you mean an' all Jimmy: goes without saying Janis: you been a party here yet? Jimmy: don't need to have to stand by what I said Janis: same wherever you end up, yeah Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: people are predictable Jimmy: weren't hoping any of these knobheads would impress me, don't worry Janis: not a rep to make sure you're having an AMAZING time Jimmy: only with you, that's why it's #goals Janis: naturally Janis: #notlikeothergirls is the branding to go for Jimmy: no ❄ though, that's Mia's dad's Janis: gonna stop pushing now, are you Janis: good to know Jimmy: piss off Janis: no need to be aggy Jimmy: but there's every need for you to have a go, is there? Janis: who said I was having a go Janis: joke, relax new boy Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't be moody Jimmy: stop doing my head in Janis: fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🖕👋 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: not okay to use my own move against me Jimmy: go on then, tell me my every move Janis: not 💀👑 Jimmy: could use the same 🥺😢😭😤😠😡🤬🤯 scale still Janis: go on then Janis: where are you Jimmy: 🥺 obvs Janis: if anyone asks, same Jimmy: I am asking, dickhead Janis: we're telling the truth now? Jimmy: Why not? Janis: why are you 🥺 then? Jimmy: you ain't answered where you are Janis: solid 😤 Jimmy: There you go, that'll be why I'm 🥺 Janis: yeah, I'm that easily deterred Janis: what's up Jimmy: What's up with you? Janis: is there a punchline or? Jimmy: 🤡🥊 Janis: 😤 is my 😒 Jimmy: so you're alright? Janis: yeah, I'll survive Janis: your turn Jimmy: What? Janis: to answer Jimmy: I did do Janis: properly Jimmy: you heard me, it's your fault ☀ Janis: it ain't Jimmy: Why do you want me to move across to 😭? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: ugh Janis: be like that Jimmy: UGH yourself babes Janis: just trying to entertain myself on this bus Janis: you're NO help Jimmy: what kind of help are you after? Janis: 🤡🤡🤡 Jimmy: [sends her whatever DM the girl who invited him to this party has sent him since said invite] Janis: cringe Jimmy: You wanna reply to it? Janis: as me or you? Jimmy: whichever one suits you, babe Janis: [writes something from him about really looking forward to the party so she thinks she's in/more sting when it flops] Janis: send that then Jimmy: [does and shows her that it's sent] Janis: 👍👍 Janis: might need to mute her 'til we get there now though Jimmy: are you gonna be my mate again now? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: what are the perks like? Jimmy: that the kind of mate you are? Janis: just saying, if my deal is better being your fake girlfriend Janis: got to consider these things Jimmy: if you can't handle being both Jimmy: not very 🥇 of you but alright Janis: you just can't get enough of me Jimmy: I get it, you can't 🤹 Jimmy: have to leg it off to the 🎪 on my own 🎻💔 Janis: 🦁 tamer Janis: you're already the 🤡 and I can't grow a beard either so Jimmy: can't be a 🤡 and a 🐻!!!!!!!!! Jimmy: #whoamI? Janis: omg babes Janis: existential crisis o'clock! Jimmy: 😱😱😱😱😱 Janis: drag me for trying to pick between 💘 or 🤗 Janis: you're SUCH a mess, no offense Jimmy: none taken obvs Janis: fine, friendzone me Jimmy: can't win with you today Janis: bit rude Janis: if you wanna do party girl, then just let me dump you Jimmy: if I wanted to I just wouldn't have invited you Janis: no, because that's not the deal Janis: we both agreed already Jimmy: I know what the deal is, tah very much Janis: it's a compliment Janis: i'm saying you ain't a complete 🐍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: yeah Janis: that's the plan Jimmy: What time do you want me to meet you in the 🦁 den then? Janis: there's a bus stop like five minutes from hers Janis: meet me there at Janis: do we wanna be fashionably late for the 😎 or on time ish to sabotage some more? 🤔 Jimmy: I got nowt else on Janis: alright so [the earlier side of a party starting] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: asked Grace, they are going Janis: made a big Thing™ of getting ready all of 'em without her so Jimmy: charming Janis: yeah well she knows what she did, like 🔪🔪🔪 Jimmy: I get it 🩸🩸🩸 on her own hands not coming out our 💘s Janis: now she's not gonna throw herself at you for Mia's amusement, sorta served her purpose Janis: 'til the next one, obvs Jimmy: I should've made better ☕ my bad, Gracie Janis: 🙄 Janis: obvs Jimmy: what's obvs is that she don't order a latte to support my 🎨 Jimmy: Mia should've known it'd never be a goer Janis: weird, beige is right up her alley Jimmy: her order don't come out purple or owt, don't worry Janis: even I could gather that Jimmy: I can't give you a 🏆 but Janis: could if you put some coffee in it Jimmy: rather put 🥃 in there but alright Janis: when you're off the 🕥 Jimmy: I didn't realise your plan to fuck this party up was that I serve ☕ Jimmy: 🥇💡 Jimmy: get traced right back to 💀👑 Janis: never work Janis: it's your 2nd biggest 😍 pull Jimmy: good job the only 🕥 I'm on is yours then Janis: safe to say the way you froth does not have me doing the same Jimmy: such a way with words, you Jimmy: SO romantic Janis: has been said Jimmy: TOTALLY won't be 💭💕😍 when I am at work tomorrow, tah Janis: you're welcome for the distraction and the third degree burns Jimmy: how #goals Janis: get to get my own back and nurse you SO HARD Jimmy: you're welcome that I'll be a well easier patient than you Janis: what I'm hearing is lazy Jimmy: you sound like a Tory, I'll go if you've got Mia's dad in another 🗨 like Janis: who could compete Janis: I understand 🥉 Jimmy: 👋 Janis: Can't believe he's so ugly Janis: if you're gonna risk incest, like Jimmy: What 'cause she's so fit it's a massive shock? Janis: 🙄 yeah, you worked that out Jimmy: I know it'll be a struggle but don't dump me for her Janis: shut up Janis: if I was gay, I'd have taste Jimmy: at least 🥉 Jimmy: she ain't on the podium Janis: thanks for your professional opinion Janis: I'm not gonna get someone else involved in this charade Jimmy: but I'm lazy? Alright 😏 Janis: gotta break the ⛓ Janis: tah Jimmy: 💔 that your 🏆💪 were just some bollocks rumour Janis: not carrying you around either Janis: 💀 from 💔 Jimmy: I heard you, wanting me to lie down and 💀💀💀 in the dirt, weren't it? Jimmy: ✔💕 Janis: 🥺🙏 Jimmy: I'll let your bus roll over me Jimmy: job done Janis: be waiting a while Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Janis: slowburn? Jimmy: love a bit of a waiting game, me Jimmy: 🏆 best dad ever 🏆 for pissing about with this will we, won't we fuck off out of here Jimmy: if you're gonna risk incest Janis: how sweet of him Jimmy: right Janis: gutted my ma got that all out of her system when I was 👶 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: mhmm Janis: but alright with not having to have them tag along Jimmy: 🍻 to that Janis: how's your brother Jimmy: did you get an SOS 🦇 girl? Janis: nah Janis: just asking Jimmy: [sends her sign language stuff on how to ask how someone is so she could ask if she wanted to] Janis: alright, alright Janis: 🖕👋 would suffice Jimmy: it were you who said you wanted something to do 🥱🚍 Jimmy: have a go Janis: what if one of these old bags knows it too then I'm stuck in a conversation Jimmy: call me, I'll sort it out Jimmy: but 🖕👋 would probably suffice there an' all Janis: 😱 Janis: shocking behaviour Janis: I would NEVER Jimmy: if you get it right you can ask that lass how's she's doing when her party goes tits up Jimmy: so crack on Janis: 😒 hmm Janis: manipulative but alright Jimmy: are you gonna be mardy about her all night? Janis: obviously not Janis: how would that make me look Jimmy: I meant here 🗨 @ me Janis: I'm not being mardy Jimmy: 😒 you Janis: you all the time Janis: not taking it personally, am I Jimmy: told you before, I ain't a mind reader Janis: I'm not mardy at you Jimmy: Okay Janis: It's her, I told you Jimmy: Yeah Janis: dunno what her problem with me is Jimmy: she don't look as good in green as Mr Lucas, massive problem, that Janis: she can see him after class and take it up with him, like Jimmy: long as he don't stick her in detention with us Janis: then I will be 😒 with you Jimmy: baby 🥺 Janis: wanna be alone with you and Mr Lucas, obvs Jimmy: duh, you'll have gone 3 weeks without him by then Jimmy: near torture Janis: don't remind me 💔 Jimmy: I'll have to send him a 💌 when I go Janis: we're not sharing Jimmy: you're alright, I don't reckon he'll be about having a LDR with me Jimmy: he's very physical Janis: not 🥈 Janis: just 'cos you've pissed off Jimmy: you're 🥈 with me here Janis: fuck right off Jimmy: There she is, my 🦘🥊 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 😍😍😍 look better with bruises Jimmy: your blatant kink, that Jimmy: 🔓 Janis: just true Janis: the less you look like you the better, DUH Jimmy: any excuse to wear my 😎 suits me Janis: true 💘 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: did you go for the hoodie then? Jimmy: is it a dealbreaker? Janis: could be Jimmy: I could grab it then Janis: what are you wearing Jimmy: Don't you wanna wait and see? Janis: I'll still be able to fake my 😍 without the surprise Jimmy: [a selfie of whatever lewk he's serving] Janis: yeah Janis: good job 👍 Jimmy: Tah Janis: don't you wanna make sure I look okay? Jimmy: don't need to Janis: I could totally shame you Jimmy: you couldn't Janis: trust 💪🏆 Jimmy: I don't care what you've got on, not a mean lass Janis: just getting it off, gotcha Jimmy: just leave out spending it about, not very #goals of me Janis: couldn't be non-goals if we tried Janis: bar's that low tonight Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: mhmm Jimmy: show me then Janis: [going relatively hard here we can presume because these basics ALWAYS do so you need to do it but better] Jimmy: [I likewise think he's gone harder than he would so I vibe it] Janis: [we out here] Jimmy: [pinterest has cockblocked me as usual] Janis: [I've not looked yet but we know the vibes] Jimmy: Oi Janis: what you oi'ing at? Jimmy: you can't be saying the bar's that low and giving me that Janis: what do you mean Jimmy: I mean you know what you're doing wearing something so 🏆 worthy Janis: yeah, I do know what I'm doing Janis: you can trust in that Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 😏 Janis: you can say I look fuckable, it's the point Jimmy: and you reckoned it were me displaying shocking behaviour a bit ago Jimmy: 🧼👄 Janis: must've been wishful thinking then 😇���� Jimmy: I get it, your SO 🥱🚍 you've gotta take the piss now Jimmy: stop thinking about me, girl Janis: guilty Jimmy: 👮🚔 Jimmy: you just wanna be back in chains of any sort, well predictable you Janis: gotta practice having this shit on 🔒 Janis: lads don't even wanna claim 'em after, never mind hold 'em down Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: chuffed to be your lab 🐀 Joan Janis: never poured acid in your 👀s Janis: lucky little 🐀 boy Jimmy: Tah for not doing owt to the 👂 growing out my back an' all Jimmy: know what you're like, lucky it's still attached Janis: gives you character Janis: pick you out of a lineup with your fellow whiteboys Jimmy: #newschoolnewme Janis: wait 'til I make a little maze for you, buzzing, you'll be Jimmy: 🎨🏆🥇 Janis: and 💪 Janis: combination of our 💘s #SUCHgoals Jimmy: we did it, we merged!! 👏👏 Janis: 5 WHOLE 👂S!!!! Jimmy: can't top that, might as well turn that bus around and go home, mate Janis: Okay Keanu Jimmy: no dickhead can deny that outfit could stop traffic Janis: smooth Jimmy: til you 🤮 Janis: not gonna get that wasted, even if I look like 'em Jimmy: Duh pisshead, I meant from the hard braking Jimmy: and you don't look like them Janis: I'm 💪 Jimmy: SUCH an athlete, yeah, I've heard Jimmy: it were bollocks though, don't rub that in again, tah Janis: the 1994 film or my athleticism? Janis: either way, how DARE you Jimmy: Both obvs Jimmy: I'll dry your eyes if you do mine Janis: not hot Janis: 👎 Jimmy: weren't what I were going for Jimmy: you're on one, not me Janis: you're trying to get me to 🤬 Janis: but I've got Helena's 💊s so you can't bring me ⬇ Jimmy: say that again when I'm carrying you down them bus steps Janis: that won't look kidnappy at all Jimmy: is that you trying to put me off? Jimmy: have another go Janis: 👠 are great weapons Jimmy: nowt I don't already know Jimmy: had a girlfriend before Janis: sure she couldn't kick as well as me Janis: whatever you reckon Jimmy: no need, just chucked 'em at me instead Janis: under or over? Jimmy: @ her if you want tips Janis: no tah Janis: not that bitch that stalks all your exes to make sure they're fatter than me Jimmy: only got the one, wouldn't take you long Janis: yeah? Janis: still Janis: sounds delightful and my inbox is full enough Jimmy: mine an' all Jimmy: delighted for us, she is Janis: you probably can't tell her it's fake, yeah Janis: usually wouldn't be an issue with her being miles away but love to break that scandal by the sounds of Janis: 😬 Jimmy: weren't planning to tell her nowt Janis: if it gets her to 😶 Jimmy: less than nowt would do Janis: fairplay Janis: know the sort Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 is her sort Jimmy: why we were such a #goals match Janis: only like magnets Janis: you attract 💔🎻😭 Janis: clearly Jimmy: what I get for being SUCH a 😒🌧 lad Jimmy: just that northern Janis: teach you how to be ☀ obvs Jimmy: reckon you've got enough time, do you? Janis: reckon I'm that good Jimmy: it don't matter what you reckon, bighead Janis: rude Jimmy: you can't give yourself the 🏆 Janis: I'm the only one who's opinion I trust so Janis: seems fake Jimmy: that's me out of a job then and your Tory heart 💔 Janis: well I'm sure it'd be top goals to change my mind Jimmy: I wouldn't put any 💰 on it if I were you Jimmy: unless Mia's dad is paying Janis: probably LOVES gambling on poor kids Jimmy: goes without saying Janis: wonder if any of our other pals are gonna show Jimmy: Depends how selective she were with the invites Jimmy: be quality if she's betting on it just being me and her Janis: oh Christ, don't Jimmy: it's alright, I ain't worried about chucking her out of her own house Janis: that's easy regardless Janis: slightly smaller scale Janis: gotta secure her room asap, also goes without saying Jimmy: but you still said it Janis: it was thick, nor Northern, right? Jimmy: I know what I'm doing an' all Janis: I know Janis: I said you looked good too Jimmy: I heard what you said and I weren't 🎣 Janis: 🤏 Janis: but since you washed my mouth out I can't be any more descriptive than that o Janis: so* Jimmy: if I wanted you to say owt you'd know about it Janis: 👍 Jimmy: how far away are you? Janis: [when ages isn't even a pisstake] Jimmy: [oh that bus journey such good times to come] Janis: weren't exaggerating Jimmy: never said you were Jimmy: I just wanna know where to be Jimmy: ain't far to hers from mine, must be why she likes me Janis: if she knows where you live that's the least of your worries, no? Jimmy: 💀👑 bound to have told everybody by now Jimmy: been stalking me for ages, her Janis: least she's never been in your gaff Janis: far as you know Jimmy: I'd have found strands of hair or 🦷🦷 all about Janis: exactly Janis: clean-up is no joke Jimmy: unless the 🐕 ate 'em Jimmy: find me 💀💀💀 then Janis: not before me she won't Jimmy: I'll try and hang on for you, Jules Janis: least you could do Jimmy: my stamina being what it is, might take a lot Janis: ⬇side of having a 👴 fake boyfriend Jimmy: brb gotta screenshot that to sir so he knows his place Janis: cucked again Jimmy: #kinkfulfilled 💕 he's welcome Janis: your generosity is known, above and beyond, you Jimmy: it's been said before, your originality needs work Janis: you're the one censoring me Jimmy: only so you don't put words in my mouth Jimmy: when I wanna give you a compliment, there's loads on the tip of my 👅 Janis: conveniently you never do so how do I know that? Janis: 🧠📖? Jimmy: You never wanna take 'em more like Janis: Psh Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 only please and thanks Jimmy: *😭 Jimmy: as per Janis: Baby Jimmy: 🐻 Janis: that's why I'm trying to get you 😠 Jimmy: soon as we get there ✔ Janis: you make a handy pillow, say that Jimmy: and you wonder why I'm censoring you Janis: I'm well serious Janis: how am I meant to take a nap now Jimmy: poor baby Janis: 🥺 now Jimmy: I'll @ Helena see if she's got any uppers an' all Janis: fine Janis: scout the shoulder talent on this bus whilst you're at it Jimmy: not your pimp, remember Janis: delete the creeper shots then, shall I Janis: UGH Jimmy: do what you like, my dear Janis: naturally Jimmy: you've made me tired now, tah for that Janis: how weren't you anyway Jimmy: didn't have chance Janis: being 'round our peers is exhausting Janis: can't wait for this holiday to actually begin Jimmy: it's alright for you, I'll have to be around 'em more when it does Janis: yeah, that's shit Janis: only see the ones that cba to walk their dogs, and the gals, obvs Jimmy: least you won't have to see me walking ours Jimmy: if my sister don't do it, don't get done Janis: yeah, right silver-lining that Janis: 'cos I don't drink the shit you serve either Jimmy: soz I'm not a paid barman Janis: 💔 Jimmy: have to crack on with stealing Ian's 🥃 for a bit longer Jimmy: gutted though I am Janis: works for me Janis: I'll get on it with pulling my weight on that front Janis: know someone nearby, stop there first Jimmy: there won't be nowt left for you if you don't hurry up driving that bus, Sandra Jimmy: be a good shout Janis: Keanu would never Jimmy: @ him to take you to this party, don't bother me Janis: the ONE boy not in my DMs, would you believe 🤷 Jimmy: he'd never make a move either so I can, yeah Janis: what you saying, that I think you > keanu? Jimmy: I'm saying it don't matter how big your head is, he's too sad Jimmy: no ☀ for him Janis: 😭 on your level now Jimmy: soz that's your type, gotta be hard going Janis: he might be an outlier, all you know Jimmy: What's the fuck is that? Janis: like, he's an anomaly, one-of-a-kind-one-off and the rest of my 'type' is 👌 Jimmy: Like you said, for all I know Janis: as you said, not my pimp, so you don't need to know one way or the other Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: still weren't 🎣 you can calm down Jimmy: my rod is well away Janis: you're at home, yeah? Janis: so that is your business and your prerogative Janis: ⏲ not started Jimmy: very generous of you Janis: not 💭 about it or nothing Janis: 😇 Jimmy: you're far too tired, I know Janis: cheek of you Janis: you're the 👴 with NO stamina Jimmy: you're the one that were going on and ON about it Jimmy: giving it all that 🥺🥺🥺 Jimmy: which is a bit rude when there's nowt I can do to help Janis: would I set you up to fail? Janis: sounds fake Janis: you could entertain me Jimmy: Go on, how do you want me to wake you up? Janis: how do you reckon Jimmy: I reckon you should tell me Janis: even though you already know? Jimmy: if you reckon I do then there's no challenge saying it, is there? Janis: depends Jimmy: on what? Janis: if you reckon there's challenge in hearing it Jimmy: You reckon I wouldn't accept it if there were? Janis: Have to think on that Jimmy: til you fall asleep at any rate Janis: stop questioning my stamina! 😏 Jimmy: I ain't done once Jimmy: you said it Janis: I know Jimmy: I ain't trying to trick you into a Q&A or owt Jimmy: no questions Janis: damn, I LOVE talking about myself Jimmy: loads of better games if that's what you're after to stay awake though Janis: go on Jimmy: I dunno which of 'em if any are 🚍 appropriate Jimmy: unless you paddys play by different rules Janis: I'm sure I'm obligated to tell you our rules would only make it more inappropriate Janis: we can play at the party? Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: but we better keep it between me and you, no other dickhead's supposed to be threatened with a good time Janis: 'course Janis: know any 2-player games? Jimmy: I'll 💭 while you think on how I've never backed down from any challenge I heard yet Janis: dangerously close to a promise that you won't ever Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: Promise? Janis: Yeah, fuck knows Jimmy: or ever back down Janis: can't answer that, like Jimmy: you could Jimmy: don't sound like me, for a start Janis: alright Jimmy: say it like you fake mean it, babe Janis: I do mean it, dickhead Jimmy: that's better Janis: you've picked now to be hot about it Jimmy: you wanted entertaining Janis: I did Janis: not complaining Jimmy: aren't you? Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Jimmy: if this is the REAL bus driver, focus on the job at hand, dickhead Janis: he's well distracted tbh Janis: you know when they have their mate on for a chat? Janis: can't do that at any other job Jimmy: could chat to you when I'm serving ☕ if I wanted Janis: alright, smartarse Janis: only if I ordered, or your manager would be up in your face for slacking Jimmy: Yeah, I get it what you're on about, I'm not meant to, would be a decent reason to bother Janis: for you, definitely Jimmy: Oi Janis: what am I getting out of it Janis: beyond your delightful company Jimmy: What do you want? Janis: not a latte 💔 Janis: soz, your 🎨 like Jimmy: you don't need to support it, you inspire it Janis: 💘💘💘 Janis: could be worth coming in when 💀👑 squad is about Janis: not every time but, you know, at least a few Jimmy: lunch time is a good shout, they hang about for ages then Janis: yeah, alright, I'll find a day I can do that then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not ideal if I have to stand outside with the 🐕s obvs Jimmy: we can make it work Jimmy: there's massive windows they can 👀 us from Janis: goldfish bowl Janis: I know the vibe Janis: even if I'm anti it Jimmy: you won't have to say nowt nice to me, what more do you want? Janis: I'm always nice Jimmy: you won't have to say owt #goals to me then Jimmy: you know what I mean Janis: Yeah, I do Janis: already agreed and all, no need to work any harder, like Jimmy: ain't hard work and even if it were, not the lazy git you keep saying Janis: now you're 🎣 Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: not letting you slag me off ain't the same as being after a compliment Janis: what I reckon don't matter anyway, apparently Jimmy: only when it comes to 🏆 Jimmy: I give 'em, you get 'em Jimmy: that were all I said Janis: 👍 Jimmy: don't be a dickhead about it Janis: I'm not Janis: focusing on driving Jimmy: I get it 💣 weren't your top 💀💀💀 Janis: always you, babes Jimmy: I'll keep it more personal 💕 I remember that's how you wanted it Janis: how much do you remember, exactly? 🤔 Jimmy: 🔪 'cause it were more personal, that were it Janis: 💣 for one person is just overkill Jimmy: it'd do the whole 🚍 don't worry Janis: boy, you're special Janis: not going 'round 💀💀💀 everyone willy nilly Jimmy: Alright, that were a nice thing to say, I'll give you that Janis: romantic, you said Jimmy: Yeah Janis: you care what you drink or what? Jimmy: or what Janis: ✔ answer Jimmy: weren't a real question, you saw me drink Ms Burke's Janis: can afford to be a bit more selective, is why I asked Janis: but can't get more than a bottle so Jimmy: we'll rinse this lass when we get there Janis: standard Janis: if she were just expecting you, might be champagne Jimmy: who does she think I am? Janis: someone to treat right, OBVS Janis: long as she's done the chocolate covered strawberries too, might go a bit easier on her Jimmy: you can have them, I'll say I'm allergic Janis: you're adorable Jimmy: might be, we don't have 🍓 in the north Janis: leave the 🎻 story at the door though Janis: trying be less likable, remember Jimmy: long as I've got you to keep on reminding me, be alright Janis: ha, funny 🖕 Jimmy: I'm well serious, I need your help Janis: 'cos I'm such a dick, yeah, I know Jimmy: 'cause she is and you've got 🥇💡 Janis: got vodka Janis: safest bet Janis: be at that bus stop in under 10 Jimmy: Already there Janis: 😇 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: 😇🚬 I'll allow Jimmy: *😈🚬 Janis: Prove it Jimmy: Alright Janis: alright Jimmy: in under 10 Jimmy: however you want Janis: however? Jimmy: you heard Janis: [show up and do a dramatic run (careful) off this bus to even more dramatically kiss him, like clearly this party is quite central so MAYBE someone is walking past, who can be sure, but lbr the excuse is only an afterthought if he asks at this point lol] Jimmy: [sitting her at this bus stop because do be careful babe because we're on a 'mission' before we get there and it's to add any lovebites where there aren't in any skin you can see when she's wearing that lewk but of course that's not extra enough so he has to go over her others too starting at her neck and being very thorough obvs but they've had like no time to fade at all so he's just kissing her shamelessly, we all know it] Janis: [such extra but real reactions as if it hasn't been the hottest of secs since you saw each other, grant you you did get interrupted but maybe not your brightest idea to start this in public when you got places to be, love it] Jimmy: [you two are the best] Janis: [we could always have someone from school go by, a lad like wheyyyyy, but letting you have this for now] Jimmy: [give you a minute but not long enough for this to get out of hand] Janis: [we know we're immediately moving to sit on him instead] Jimmy: [I fully support that even if it means it's easier for you two to go too hard in public lol] Janis: [start as you mean to go on lowkey] Jimmy: [we ain't even gonna make it to this club energy again, we know where your daughter gets it from in the future lads] Janis: [mhmm, blame your lack of chill on them girl, it's valid] Jimmy: [none of your kids have any chill romantically and we all know it] Janis: [the trouble they get in 'cos of...damn you and your romcom romance JJ] Jimmy: [it makes me die cos they are the two characters least likely to start in a romcom] Janis: [we did that boo] Jimmy: [anyway get out of this bus stop before you give some old lady a heart attack, gotta dramatically carry her into this party like she's your bride, sucks to suck gal whose it is] Janis: [not invited, turns up like cleopatra lmao] Jimmy: [also drink some of your vodka on the way babe you've gotta catch up to him cos he's been dipping into Ian's stash] Janis: [bleurgh straight vodka but yes, kill those tastebuds] Jimmy: [I literally could not but you two are not me thankfully] Janis: [shoutout to fearghal for giving you a bottle for free 'cos that's the kind of granddad he is, just the one though] Jimmy: [he's a soft touch but not a mug and we stan] Janis: [just discussing the plan here but being saucy snuggly in-between 'we're gonna have to be social, I reckon, to properly make sure it all goes to shit' sad face like ugh] Jimmy: [such a dramatic ugh reaction of his own that isn't even fake cos he's antisocial af but nods because she's right] Janis: ['we'll find time...still need breaks, right' going for his pocket so you can get a 🚬 to pass back and forth 'cos no sense not sharing when you are this close rn] Jimmy: ['how long have you been lying to me then?' cos she was a mind reader there] Janis: ['just so cool, it's known' 🙄😏] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['unless you're talking about all the other lies, then-' does a 😬 and puts a finger to his lips like shh] Jimmy: [being saucy with that finger cos you walked into that one gal] Janis: ['don't drop me' as if he's the one being affected rn] Jimmy: [holds her tighter like I won't but also just because] Janis: [giving him such a LOOK 'cos we out here looking good feeling better] Jimmy: [forever giving her a LOOK back because likewise and also that selfie did not do justice to how either of them look IRL] Janis: [lord knows I probably don't have one so fully use your imagination here lol] Jimmy: [we know they are both serving that's all that matters] Janis: [as if you don't show up everyone else without trying] Jimmy: [that's the tea, better have you show up cos it's probably not far] Janis: [just being like omg hi and so friendly 'cos can't know it's you two, even though you literally wanna murder this girl for shading you] Jimmy: [using all your barista charm because if you can do it for the Mia's of the world you can do it for anyone and holding onto her still even when you put her down l like I got you gal cos you're a team and you know she's fuming] Janis: [you really thought he was gonna ditch her the second he got off the bus for you like??? ok miss deluded] Jimmy: [some people really love themselves and think they're the shit] Janis: [tea, @Mia 'cos she's lowkey so average looking no offense to the actress lol] Jimmy: [and lbr you also thought he just wanted to hook up with her and then he'd be onto the next like how rude on so many levels] Janis: [we know that is how most teen boys operate but they were going in for the 💘 ting] Jimmy: [my soft boy would never] Janis: [the cheek, so, what's the first step into making this party shit I wonder] Jimmy: [well if there was hardly any booze/it ran out too soon that'd ruin it but they can't single handedly drink it all so they might have to hide it or something lol] Janis: [that's a good idea, or tip it if we being really shamelessly shady] Jimmy: [hide the stuff you want in a bush or something to grab later and pour the shit you don't down the sink] Janis: [good plan, leave the really basic wine coolers and shit beers] Jimmy: [mhmm, no loss there, and obvs you can drink plenty of the good shit too but no need to give yourselves alcohol poisoning on what you think is your last night together potentially] Janis: [just acting like that's all she's supplied like idk what to tell you lads, and being generous with your bottle that is somehow not going down lol lol] Jimmy: [god bless, I'm trying to think how else they could mess shit up without it being obvious hmmm] Janis: [shit tunes shit tunes, even shit by other people's standards that mysteriously keep getting put on] Jimmy: [gotta be a sneaky 👻 Jimothy, great idea babe, also keep getting turned up so loud the neighbours will be fuming even when the hostess turns them down] Janis: [100%, also easy to trash this gaff sneakily without anyone else having the fun of actually doing it 'cos no one is wasted or vibing] Jimmy: [wonderful throwback mems to when they were trashing Mia's room on the trip pre-hook up so I approve] Janis: [think about that, lads, allowed to get distracted momentarily] Jimmy: [proud of you for not getting distracted sooner tbh, shows how much this gal offended you] Janis: [guess you've not been allowed to dance or be alone 'cos setting the shit awkward mood of this party but still, well done] Jimmy: [I have a glorious mental image of peeps leaving like well this is shit] Janis: [damage you done to your rep just by being a rude hoe, think on] Jimmy: [Mia and Pablo have to rock up though cos a shit party is what you deserve] Janis: [ugh couple of the year alert lmao, Pablo is so rude he'll be over it the minute he arrives] Jimmy: [at least Janis won't have to deal with him long] Janis: [pretending to be nice to him is something we're not doing] Jimmy: [that's too far and we all know it, likewise Grace is ignoring you assuming she's there too boy] Janis: [she could be, we just said the flat whites weren't letting her get ready with them but she coulda still showed] Jimmy: [shown up with some boy that Mia didn't sanction to annoy her most likely haha] Janis: [what a party this has been for all] Jimmy: [Jimothy just like this might be the last fake dating moment we have and this is what we're doing ffs] Janis: [not going out with a bang here] Jimmy: [not even close] Janis: so 🥱 I'm on my phone Janis: ✔ Jimmy: bit rude that I'm your last resort Janis: that is partially your fault Jimmy: What have I done? Janis: made this party so 🥱 Janis: duh Jimmy: that were her Jimmy: nowt to do with me Janis: 😏 right, 'course Jimmy: Gotta be a room you can get some 💤 in, we ain't trashed the place floor to ceiling Janis: wanna go look? Janis: can't bear having 👀s on my siblings any longer Jimmy: [picks her up like come on gal let's go] Janis: ['didn't do her sister's room'] Jimmy: [heading in what he assumes is the right direction, but we know what his sense of direction is like] Janis: [pointing with your hands like indicators loling] Jimmy: [thanks for directing us bae] Janis: [like to think her sister is younger/not as much of a dick, hence we didn't trash her room] Jimmy: [agreed, we've got nothing against you hun, putting her down on this bed] Janis: ['you're sleepy too' we telling not asking okay] Jimmy: [a little lol but we're getting into a sleeping position like okay babe] Janis: [bringing up the bottle between you like a baby clove and taking a drink before offering him some] Jimmy: [taking a drink cos why not] Janis: ['you'll sleep well now' and closing his eyes like there there] Jimmy: [snuggling her like now I shall] Janis: [getting comfy 'Bill is gonna be fuming, like'] Jimmy: ['He's dramatic, there's always something with him'] Janis: ['far as endings go though...' trailing off 'well, no one's dead, are they'] Jimmy: ['not the end yet though, is it?' Thank god his eyes are still closed cos we all know where he's going with that question 'and this lass might do herself in when it is'] Janis: ['just prefer putting it out of it's misery' but that doesn't align with the plan so you can't, shamelessly looking at him in the meantime] Jimmy: [opens his eyes 'I know' because you do get it] Janis: [lowkey jumping when he does, then pushing him away playfully before he can even take the piss] Jimmy: [chucks a cushion at her cos I imagine this girl has loads] Janis: ['oi!' and using it as a weapon] Jimmy: ['Oi yourself' we just playfighting now as per] Janis: ['if you want it to look like you've messed up my hair, do it properly'] Jimmy: [pulls her hair in that meant to be pisstakey but actually really saucy way he has before on the trip] Janis: [when the reaction you have betrays you before you've even replied 'I mean, if that's the best you can do'] Jimmy: [goes harder because of the reaction more than the challenge of what she said but we can pretend that's why] Janis: [biting our lip so hard, probably bright red] Jimmy: [running his thumb over her bottom lip like don't cos you shamelessly wanna hear her even though you can't pretend anyone else would be able to, however shit this party is] Janis: ['you're- you aren't terrible at this, you know'] Jimmy: ['you're alright an' all' but we're saying it with more feeling than the words suggest] Janis: ['then let's do it some more' not clear if you mean like, right now, or let's keep doing this whole thing but you know] Jimmy: [when you just nod cos either way you're like yeah] Janis: [we kissing him] Jimmy: [pulling her into you via a hair pull to keep that going and making out for a while which gives you an idea and telling her you've thought of a 2 person game like she wanted and it's that one where you have to keep kissing without stopping but you're not allowed to touch and the first person who does loses] Janis: [groaning like that will be so hard but nodding 'cos duh challenge accepted] Jimmy: [the real question being who do we want to give in first? haha] Janis: [hmm, she did fall off the assault course last so give it to him this time I reckon] Jimmy: [fair that was very shaming for her, you can survive this a lot easier boy] Janis: [we all know this is not a real loss either way lol] Jimmy: [exactly so you can't pout for long] Janis: [esp when she tells you what she wants for winning] Jimmy: [saucy behaviour is afoot] Janis: [not gonna be rood and cockblock you twice in such a space of time] Jimmy: [yeah we won't be that rude] Janis: [as you have to see this party out to the bitter end, even if that's sooner than usual] Jimmy: [and LORD what fun that will be] Janis: [gonna say Pablo has fucked off so Mia is raging/fake crying somewhere now] Jimmy: [I support that wholeheartedly, would also love if Grace has left with whatever lad she came with because Mia will hate that and also it means she don't have to deal] Janis: [we know everyone is jumping ship here[ Jimmy: [it's gonna be jj and this girl soon lol] Janis: [lordt] Jimmy: [not having a 3way with you hun] Janis: [when you probably pretending it was such a casual everyone was invited mood now 'cos you being ignored lowkey] Jimmy: [that's what you get for being a dick] Janis: 👻👻👻 Jimmy: Tah for your permission to properly ghost her Jimmy: she's 👀 at me still Janis: just don't leave without me Janis: not after that bonding moment Jimmy: I carried you in, gotta carry you out an' all Janis: 👶💀 Jimmy: What kind of insult are you trying to chuck at me there? Janis: from the womb to the tomb is what that sounded like Janis: v poetic Jimmy: we'd have to do loads more bollocks Q&A's before we can make any of these dickheads believe I've known you that long Jimmy: but if you want a poem, piss easy that Janis: not looking to do or make you do that crash course Janis: know you love being artsy though so go ahead with that, like Jimmy: you've pissed on the flashcards summing up my 🎻🎻 life in a line or a drawing Jimmy: 💔 poem coming up Janis: Poor boy Janis: upload the draw my life for more views more appreciation Jimmy: ain't #goals or #dramatic enough before you got involved, girl Jimmy: no need Janis: how rude Jimmy: it's LITERALLY a compliment Janis: half a fake compliment, maybe Jimmy: I'll give you a real one if you know how to fuck with her speakers, no music would be the final ⚰🔨 Janis: easy Janis: just be distracting to 👀 at Jimmy: easier Jimmy: [I like to imagine he's like hey everyone who's still here come and play some random drinking game rn] Janis: [and you will know how to take apart electronics in a way that she won't be able to work out what's happened so have at it] Janis: [if that's in the lounge, going out that window then in the backdoor if they're in the kitchen say like just been smoking what's good] Jimmy: [team effort because he's blatantly pretending this drinking game is so northern he has to explain the rules but really he's just making it up on the spot and then as he goes along] Janis: [just watching like 😏] Jimmy: [just loving life cos he can make people do whatever he wants lowkey, what a fun way to get back at that girl by making her drink something gross and then being like ?? when the music stops #givehimanoscar] Janis: [the power, we're never as thrilled to be at a party than when we're fucking it up] Jimmy: can we go now then or what? Janis: I reckon Janis: 🙌 Jimmy: [picks her up cos he weren't joking about carrying her out] Janis: [toodle-o, hoe] Jimmy: [get those bottles and give them to the bae to hold while you carry her far far away from this shit show] Janis: [do not fall now or you'll both be dead lol] Jimmy: [we should say there are other people from the party at the park cos we said it wasn't far from his house to hers and it'll give them an excuse to be extra] Janis: [ahh teens hanging in parks, a standard] Jimmy: [sit on a swing together lads] Janis: [have some more booze now you can without looking suspish] Jimmy: [yeah you probably haven't had that much cos too busy being sneaky and ruining things] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: better than 🍾 Janis: you? Jimmy: [shows her all the shade that everyone is throwing about this party so she'll be happy] Janis: [loling and scrolling 'good'] Jimmy: [a genuine smile cos she's buzzing and he's glad and genuine 😍 for the laugh] Janis: ['gutted can't stalk Mia's bloke for the reverse revenge pics' just swinging and passing his phone back] Jimmy: ['which one?' because honestly] Janis: [rolls eyes but @ her 'true' adding 'not her dad though, that shit is well easy to find' 'cos a shameless cheat] Jimmy: [taking a big drink and lighting a 🚬 like that's so gross I need both of these things but we just living our best lives tbh] Janis: ['always a party with you, is it' so not a question but realizing how gay that sounds as a statement lol] Jimmy: [blows smoke rings at her sassily like yes it is] Janis: [😏 and taking his bottle, even if you have your own] Jimmy: [allowing it because there are peeps around but allowing it really because he is #whipped] Jimmy: bit rude Janis: bit thirsty Janis: [big swig like see] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: shut up Jimmy: I didn't say owt, it were you Janis: [pushing him but in a playful way 'cos 1. we not mad 2. we don't wanna fall 3. peeps be here] Janis: you knew what I meant Jimmy: [pulls her hair playfully cos throwback to earlier and also pisstake that he thinks she did mean it in a saucy way] Janis: [we are 😳] Janis: oi Jimmy: [looking at her so innocently like ? but boy you know] Janis: [pulling his hair like how do you like it like probably a lot okay then] Jimmy: [we kissing her before any sounds can escape like that will keep it such a mystery, Jimothy I think she still knows you're about it] Janis: [subtly putting her hands up for that mem like, still winning] Jimmy: [little lol because she's funny and we can't be mad] Janis: [return them 😍] Jimmy: [just looking at her because she's so beautiful it's rude] Janis: what? Jimmy: what? Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: ? Janis: ❓ Janis: never mind Jimmy: never mind what? Janis: [exasperated half-lol thing 'stop it'] Jimmy: [writes stop what? on her skin with a fingertip] Janis: [pretends it tickled loads as an excuse to wriggle and generally be distracting] Jimmy: [now we're LOOKING at her and it's a very different #mood] Janis: ['that's what'] Jimmy: [drawing so many ? all over her but really softly so it will actually tickle this time] Janis: [dying like 'alright, alright!'] Jimmy: [holding onto her under the pretence that we don't want her to fall which we don't but also just that bitch™] Janis: ['you're such a dickhead, you know' but softly] Jimmy: ['you're-' so soft it's like did you even say anything sir] Janis: ['well, don't start this again' like we've only just stopped ???ing boy] Jimmy: ['but you're just-' like I can't help it gal cos lbr he can't] Janis: ['you're taking the piss'] Jimmy: [shrugs because probably but again we can't overstate how much he is not trying to and doesn't mean to but also how hard it is to use words] Janis: [fake punches his jaw like oh you, 'cos gonna ignore it either way] Jimmy: [playfully pushes her but very soft] Janis: ['push me on this swing and make yourself useful'] Jimmy: [does obviously] Janis: [living your best life] Jimmy: [so much so we know y'all are gonna stay even when these peeps fuck off cos you don't wanna go home ever anyways] Janis: [definitely, we all know you weren't just here like carrying on the show, duh] Jimmy: [I vote for rain for those Jimmy: mems] Janis: [not out of the question is it, and remember when they got under the jungle gym moment and did drawings, that, ty] Jimmy: [yeah cos it's literally april so and 100% because that was iconic and we need it] Janis: [run babies run but not really 'cos who cares, you aren't going to freeze, even if your lewk is probably skimpy gal, so frolic in the rain for a bit] Jimmy: [we all know it's a #mood and he will keep you warm if needed gal] Janis: [grabbing the stash and taking it under this climbing frame when you finally do take shelter 'cos #priorities] Jimmy: [giving her whatever jacket you have on because that's the kind of fake boyfriend you are] Janis: [searching the pockets like you're looking for 💊s and then miming 💔] Jimmy: [🎻 mime] Janis: ['letdown' but snuggling into the jacket] Jimmy: [starting the doodle sesh by doing the JJ love heart without even really thinking about it] Janis: [writes some shade that that girl or the flat whites would write underneath] Jimmy: [writes the kind of reply he would write if it was a post on socials] Janis: [a realistic looking 💔 with a 🔪 in it] Jimmy: [we just drinking and nodding appreciatively at her 🎨 but then we're drawing Bill's ghost] Janis: [😏 and taking our share as we ponder our 🎨 reply, drawing some 💀s under his feet with flatwhite identifiers, like Grace's weave etc] Jimmy: [draws a 💭 for him and writes 'far as endings go....' like she said earlier and then draws a Janis hanging off the end of the bubble ready to put anyone out of their misery who isn't dead] Janis: [genuine smile, draws a cartoon him peeping over said 💭 with a pen and paper like he's copying Bill's #poetry] Jimmy: [draws a ghost version of himself floating  and crosses out the word endings because still doesn't want any of this to] Janis: [draws an arrow to the book in his cartoon hands and writes 'once upon a time...'] Jimmy: [draws it raining Helena's pills but writes 'letdown' on each pill and puts an umbrella over what she's just written like gotta protect the 🎨 but not over the cartoon JJ or ghost him cos they tough] Janis: [draws a very over-exaggerated Helena 'cos probably not that memorable or noticeable with her mouth open like gimme] Jimmy: [draws a skeleton hand coming up like Mia's gonna snatch them all] Janis: [draws herself jumping down to stamp on said skelly hand] Jimmy: [😏 and then chewing on this pen looking cute doing it obvs but then draws a phone in Mia's hand with a speech bubble coming out like it's her dad talking and threatening to sue etc] Janis: [#distracted af for a hot sec, finally drawing a bored af looking uber booby stickwoman on the other end of the phone like it's a sexline] Jimmy: [we just loling soz to be more distracting gal] Janis: [just adding tears to all the Mia's up here rn] Jimmy: [drawing Mia's dad creepily crawling down the length of this drawing area like he's gotta get to her but there's loads of heartbroken secretaries holding onto his legs and climbing over each other and fighting] Janis: [shudders but also proper lols 'too real' and then sketches out various hunger games ways they can kill each other off to be the winner] Jimmy: [adds his dad peeping like he's gonna snatch the winner and you know it's him because he looks lowkey like Jimothy and he's wearing a t-shirt that says @iantaylor8 on it] Janis: [draws a new Mia 👀 like any dad will do] Jimmy: [does his own shudder and takes a big drink but gives this Mia a crown and a sash that says like world's greatest step mum on it or something like that] Janis: [draws him but like a baby version in various situations with her being the Worst ever, like dropping him on his head etc] Jimmy: [when you start thinking about your mum so you're just having a moment ™] Jimmy: [casually downing so much of this booze suddenly] Janis: [not not noticing but we're not doing anything or saying anything either] Jimmy: [going to 🚬 whether it's stopped raining or not like gotta gooooooo] Janis: [when you're outside so you simply do not boy but pop off, just like wtafffffff over here] Jimmy: [soz gal we gotta moodily sit on this swing and be in our emotions and I'm 100% saying it's still raining so its even more like wtf boy] Janis: are you alright? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: would you prefer I ask what's wrong? Jimmy: how is that any different? Janis: you can yes or no the first Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: I'm not Jimmy: I'm not doing a Q&A with you at the minute Janis: Alright Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: I said, okay Janis: [getting up like I'll be off then and gathering whatever shit you have] Jimmy: [just looking at her because you don't want her to go but you can't be like DON'T so it's v awkward] Janis: [shaking your head 'cos no more ?s] Jimmy: [passing her your 🚬 that you haven't even lit yet like that'll fix everything] Janis: [looking at it like what even but not going 'cos you can also be a headfuck, we aren't pretending otherwise] Jimmy: [shivering because she has your jacket on so you're just out here in a t-shirt like but not moving because we're very closed off rn] Janis: [chucking it at him and going back to your little den moment like you forget something, but just sitting there on your phone like okay] Jimmy: as endings go Jimmy: I'm not having that one Jimmy: makes me look like a right twat, don't you think? Janis: could do better Janis: probably be the note, yeah Jimmy: ✔ Jimmy: [comes back in and chucks her the jacket back like you'll need this if you're going but we know he just is soz] Janis: you're cold, don't be an idiot Jimmy: you might be an' all, I still don't read minds Janis: wouldn't have given it to you if I were Janis: not that nice, or at all Janis: [throwing it vaguely in his direction] Jimmy: [puts it back on her 'just that stubborn' because he is likewise that stubborn obvs lol but his voice is soft and so are his 👀] Janis: [just looking back at him 'finished having your strop now?' but as a genuine question and as soft 'cos like, no idea what that was] Jimmy: [pulling her hair out of the hood or collar of this jacket whichever it has as softly 'I don't care if I freeze to death' the unspoken implication being that he cares if she does BYE 'but if you don't rate it, we can do something else'] Janis: [just being the most still whilst this is happening, biting your lip 'cos softness, what 'go on'] Jimmy: ['I could tell you about how I didn't mean to be such a dickhead there or I could show you, it's up to you, that' the eye contact be like] Janis: [shrugs like you're so unphased either way but not breaking that eye contact 'you aren't much of a talker'] Jimmy: [kissing her on every lovebite like he did at the bus stop but a lot more indecently than you can do when you're in public, taking his time, playing particular attention to anywhere saucy af because why not eventually go down on a girl for the first time in a playground at night in the rain when you're trying to say sorry and give her something to remember you by #peakromance] Janis: [just saying his name like you literally never have, then after, saying 'I've never done that before' 'cos that #shook but he could take that to mean a number of things so you're fine lol] Jimmy: ['me either' with a shrug like it's really casual because true, you can have that first time gal] Janis: ['in a park, like' and pushing a swing like you've only just remembered where you are, low-key looking around like those people are definitely gone] Jimmy: [sits on said swing like push me then] Janis: [does, 'cos his turn] Jimmy: [looks over his shoulder at her ankle like don't hurt yourself] Janis: [rolls her eyes like, weren't worried about that five seconds ago boy] Jimmy: [rolls his own back at her but with 😏] Janis: [pushing him extra high 'jump off and you can join me'] Jimmy: [does jump off because challenge accepted but thankfully doesn't hurt himself because don't need to be #matching] Janis: [fussing after him like he has] Jimmy: [just having a drink like he's so tough and not at all a soft boy] Janis: [looking through your phone then grinning at something on socials 'I've got a surprise for you'] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ?] Janis: [showing him a snap from the girl to her story about her parents coming home and freaking out 'cos trashed 'text 'em, when I was doing the music' more of a surprise for you gal 'cos you're buzzing but sure] Jimmy: [SUCH a genuinely happy grin, we're falling in love again over here, cos the bae is so impressive] Janis: ['literally no chance of her hitting you up for a solo party now, even if she had no shame, like' grinning back 'cos he's so cute] Jimmy: ['as fake girlfriend's go, you were a top first pick' because as close as we can get rn to saying you like her 'tah for that'] Janis: ['who was your second?'] Jimmy: [shakes his head because he didn't have one and first place or nowt is forever the motto] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [nudges her 'alright bighead, shut up' even though she didn't say anything] Janis: 'seen not heard?' raises a brow 'very retro'] Jimmy: ['I'm not my dad' shrugs as if that's not vitally important to him] Janis: ['mores the pity, I'm sure' and going to climb the climbing frame now] Jimmy: [follows her in case she needs a hand/falls off cos it's wet and he knows it'll annoy her and that's the excuse we're sticking with] Janis: ['not closing my eyes this time, you're alright' inspecting other people's graffiti efforts with disdain] Jimmy: [chucks her the pen] Janis: [correcting spelling and crossing out the slander you don't fuck with and writing more that you do like that's better 'Lucas would be so proud'] Jimmy: [takes a picture to send to him 'what were his @ again?'] Janis: [genuine 🤔 'something about virgin schoolgirls, can't quite remember'] Jimmy: [exaggerated sigh like ugh fuck's sake 'there's loads of them' but then shrugs 'you'll have to show him'] Janis: ['got a date for 3 weeks time, ain't we' shrugs back] Jimmy: ['you have' cos we're not expecting to be here] Janis: ['he wishes it were solo'] Jimmy: ['you can keep Bill's ghost for a chaperone'] Janis: ['well helpful, him' shakes her head 'end up a ghost before the first session is out myself'] Jimmy: ['what's the matter with that?'] Janis: [little laugh, 'no offense, ghost boy'] Jimmy: ['I get it, reckon undead is better than dead dead, do you?' like that's the kind of snobby vampire she is] Janis: ['don't you?' and LOOKS pointedly at all the lovebites she's done] Jimmy: [looks at her like you have your moments but then LOOKS at her and where they were in their little den like so do I] Janis: [nudges him 'shut up'] Jimmy: [🤐 mime] Janis: [looks down at the den 'don't be hasty...' and mimes unzipping his lips but climbing down like you got somewhere to be] Jimmy: [follows her being deliberately quiet about it lol] Janis: [turns 'round like 'scuse me but when we put out our hand to stop him, we leave it resting on his chest 'where you going now?'] Jimmy: [just looking at her hand and back up at her and then at her lips but we all know he isn't reading them] Janis: [moving a bit closer, putting our other arm 'round his shoulders, 'it was annoying, having to ignore you and talk to other people-' moving closer still, 'til your face is right up in his '-when I'd rather be not talking with you'] Jimmy: [doing that thing he always does where he pulls her closer somehow whenever you think they're as close as they can get] Janis: [whispering even though there's no need bar proximity rn 'I've stayed here before, it's alright, like' saying it like not a suggestion but not not a suggestion too] Jimmy: [when you can't stop yourself from looking in the direction of your house because it's literally over the road even though it's the last place you ever wanna be and then looking back at her as if you'd never looked away and nodding] Janis: [shrugs like it's really casual 'no bus back my way now anyway, so I weren't going home'] Jimmy: [takes her hand and leads her back to their little den and around it like he's doing a house tour because he's a nerd] Janis: ['snug, but well decorated' and smiles '3 out of 5 stars'] Jimmy: [draws those 3 out of 5 stars and writes her review out underneath with her name deliberately wrong and ❌ out loads of times] Janis: [writes her @ and rolls her eyes like honestly 'kill you to give me some promo?'] Jimmy: [📷 mime like he's doing a photoshoot] Janis: [🖕 at him 'cos classy] Jimmy: [takes a real photo of her because amused] Janis: ['oi' 'cos it is dark and we all know flash is a one, as if you won't still look good] Jimmy: [posts it because she does look great and tags that girl in it because he's rude] Janis: ['took a lot more photos when it last rained' we all remembering here] Jimmy: [looks at his imaginary watch and up at the sky like we've got loads of time] Janis: ['shows no sign of stopping' as if you're the kind of person who makes small talk about the weather] Jimmy: [breaks his silence to tell her to 'come here' because such a him thing to do] Janis: [crawling over so she's resting between his legs 'yeah?'] Jimmy: [takes some more pics of her like the art hoe he is so we can all pretend the lip bite is purely in concentration] Janis: ['can't say you aren't dedicated' purposefully doing the most] Jimmy: ['or that you're not inspiring' we can all imagine how his voice sounds] Janis: ['just my job' when likewise the tone is saying everything but] Jimmy: ['someone's gotta do it' but looking at her cos we all know he's glad it's her] Janis: [puts ☝️ up like, you said, first choice] Jimmy: ['you were' because it's true and obvious anyway by this point] Janis: ['let me show you why'] Jimmy: [casually stop breathing because she's the hottest person ever and makes you die] Janis: [return that favour gal] Jimmy: [say 'fuck' for that throwback] Janis: ['never done that, either'] Jimmy: ['I'll knock you a trophy up if you give me a bit of time' when you're not even taking the piss it was just that 🔥] Janis: [cuddles into him like, I can wait] Jimmy: [holding onto her really tightly because you don't wanna let go ever but you still think you've gotta] Janis: ['you cold?' 'cos you do have a hoodie between you 'so, again, somehow getting closer] Jimmy: [we taking the shameless excuse to snuggle and running with it] Janis: [can probably leave this night here?] Jimmy: [we've covered a lot of ground and it'll probably be long cos has the last bit of the school trip on it too so yeah] Janis: [can fall asleep here for a bit, no need for any further drama] Jimmy: [until he wakes up and she's already gone anyway lol lol lol] Janis: [that's the next convo baby]

[cowboy-crimez]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (TV) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dave/Klaus Hargreeves Characters: Klaus Hargreeves, Dave Katz, Diego Hargreeves, Luther Hargreeves, Number Five, Allison Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, No Apocalypse, 5 Times, luther has Stupid Bitch Disease and its terminal :/, dave is a closeted dumbass, Fluff Summary:

the 5 times the hargreeves siblings don't understand why a guy like dave is with klaus, plus the one time that they do

or:

dave is a closeted dumbass

  -5: Luther

It’s not that people never expected Klaus to date someone, like really date someone. It isn’t even that they were shocked that Klaus was dating a man. Hell, if Klaus wasn’t dating a man, that’d be more surprising. It’s just with how he behaves and his history, everyone expected whoever Klaus was dating to be, well.

A little fucked up.

When Klaus tells everyone that he would be bringing his boyfriend to their monthly family brunch, everyone braced for the worst. Allison leaves her wallet at home, Diego keeps his knives on him, Vanya takes extra puffs of her inhaler, Grace gives Five a stern talking to about being polite to guests, and Luther goes through the list of ‘ Things Not To Say ’ that Diego and Ben made him a few days before.

So when Klaus throws open the door to the house and strutted inside, twirling around and calling out, “Hello, mi familia!” everyone cranes their necks to see the man who followed, and the shock of seeing a handsome man who looked, well, normal, almost stuns them into silence.

It was almost comical, the clash in appearance between the two. While Klaus was wearing a denim vest over what looked to be a silk nightdress and yoga pants with flip flops, the man who stood slightly behind him had on a pair of good fitting jeans, a dark blue button-up shirt, the top two buttons undone, a leather jacket and combat boots that looked well worn but not neglected. The man’s hair was curly but neat, whereas Klaus’s curls were messy and unkempt. His face was clean shaven and bare and Klaus still had smudges of eyeliner that could have been applied yesterday, last week, or maybe even last month.

“So this is Dave,” Klaus says said, motioning towards the man. Dave smiled and everyone noted with approval that he didn’t seem to be missing any teeth. “My boyfriend!”

After perhaps a moment too long of silence, Grace clears her throat and says, “Hello, Dave, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Would you like to sit down? Brunch will be ready in about ten minutes, and coffee is on the table.”

When they go to sit down, Dave continues to surprise them by pulling the chair out of Klaus and pushing him in, before taking his own seat.

After a brief introduction, they try to have a normal conversation but every piece of information that Dave reveals about himself only confuses everyone more.

He’s a social data analyst for a marketing company, he has a master degree, he speaks two languages, he’s the youngest of four kids and he gets along with all of them, he’s from Palo Alto, and in his spare time he likes to travel, go on hikes, practice calligraphy, and paint.

Nearly every part of Dave seems to be fundamentally at odds with Klaus, as someone who never had a real job, never went to college after he almost flunked out of high school, who didn’t speak to any siblings besides Ben for a few years, and who never really dedicates enough time to get a hobby, despite having nothing but free time.

The real kicker is when Grace brings out food - Dave offering to help before even Diego could pipe up - and everyone starts loading up their plates.

Dave helps dish out food to Klaus, who sighs dreamily when Dave has to reach across him to grab orange juice for him. But when Klaus reaches for bacon to put on Dave’s plate, Dave says, “No, thank you, baby.”

“Oh, not hungry?” Klaus asks, looking concerned.

“No, it’s just that I can’t,” Dave motions to the scrambled eggs on his plate, “I’ve already decided to eat eggs.”

Klaus makes an ‘ohh’ noise, before nodding, which doesn’t help anyone else understand.

“Are you on a diet or something?” Luther asks, trying his hand at small talk. It makes sense, kinda. Dave seems to be in pretty good shape. When he took his leather jacket off and draped it on the back of the chair, Luther could see the fabric of his shirt stretch over his biceps.

“No, I’m just not allowed to eat both right now.” Dave says, smiling patiently, “It wouldn’t be kosher.”

And Luther knows he should leave it at that, but nowhere on Things Not To Say List did Diego or Ben ever anticipate Klaus bringing home a religious person.

“You’re Jewish?” Luther asks, and maybe his tone his a bit too surprised, or confused, or maybe just loud because instantly Klaus’s head shoots up and he glares at Luther, shaking his head.

Dave, for his part, seems slightly unnerved by the question but politely says, “Yes.”

“And you’re dating Klaus?”

“Yes.” Dave smiles as if being reminded of the fact brings him great joy.

“Doesn’t being around Klaus make you a sinner, like, by proxy?”

It says something about how bad the question is because even Five’s mouth drops in disbelief at what Luther has said. Dave just blinks, unable to think of how to respond, while Klaus loudly pushes his chair back.

“I can’t believe you sometimes.” Klaus practically hisses, “Why would you ask something like that? You know what, it doesn’t matter, we’re leaving.”

And at those words Dave stands up, grabs his jacket and follows Klaus out, not before turning and saying, “Thank you for cooking, Grace, it was nice to meet you.”

Once they hear the front door slam, they turn to Luther and glare.

“Why would you say that?” Allison asks. “That was so mean towards Klaus, and probably offensive to Dave!”

“It’s a valid question!” Luther insists. “Klaus and the religious have never gotten along before!”

And maybe that is a valid point, one to tack onto the growing list of reasons why no one can understand why Dave is with Klaus. Because as much as they all love their brother, they know how much of a mess he is better than anyone else. And Dave, well, Dave seems so put together, with his good family, and high paying job, and post-secondary education, and Luther would wager that Dave has a good apartment, in a nice part of town, and with those facts alone it’s hard to imagine Klaus fitting in. When they add in the fact that Dave is religious, even to a minimal extent, it seems almost impossible.

Still, they berate Luther until he relents and sends a heartfelt, apologetic text to Klaus, and extends it by apologizing to Dave.

Klaus responds with a text that says, “fuk u”, but when Diego texts him about a makeup brunch a week later, Klaus says he’ll come and Dave wants to come again too.

  -4: Ben

Out of all of the Hargreeve’s siblings, Ben has the best relationship with Klaus. When they were kids they used to be glued at the hip, always trailing behind one another, always getting in trouble because of a dare that the other had said. Out of all their siblings, Ben should be the one who understands how Klaus started dating Dave.

He doesn’t.

By all accounts, Dave is the type of guy who used to call the cops on Klaus when he fell asleep on a public bench. He has the kind of ‘upstanding citizen’ vibe that Klaus always seemed to repulse.

So Ben was more than a little surprised when a month after the fabled family brunch, Klaus invites him over for lunch and sends him an address to an apartment that’s in a part of town much nicer than any of Klaus’s previous residences.

The apartment building is modern and looks expensive. The elevator works, and the hallway carpets all look clean. When Klaus opens the door for Ben, even from the doorway he can see that the apartment has a nice view.

Ben takes his shoes off, and Klaus is already prattling away about something, hands moving through the air rapidly.

Half of the apartment looks rather normal, clean surfaces, tasteful yet unique decorations on the walls, minimalist bookshelves in the living room to house some plain looking books. The walls are a pale grey.

The other half looks like, well, it looks like Klaus happened. There are strange articles of clothing thrown over the modern looking sofa. An old floral armchair sits out of place in the living room. There’s a beaded curtain hanging in front of the doorway to the bedroom, and hanging crooked on the walls are canvases with random splashes on colour, some still dripping paint onto the wooden floor.

Ben makes the assumption that Klaus just moved himself in, and decides not to comment on it.

Finally, he tunes into the conversation that, until this point, Klaus has been having with himself. He finds out that Dave is at work - since it is noon on a Wednesday - and that Klaus is cooking chicken to make quesadillas.

It’s towards the end of the meal that Klaus says, “Dave is helping me find a job.”

“Oh?” Ben says, mouth full of chicken and bell peppers.

“Yeah, he’s teaching me how to make resumes and how to fill out applications and how to send them out and stuff.” Klaus smiles, a bit bashfully.

“Do you know what you want to do?” Ben asks. Klaus hasn’t had a path or a goal in life since he was eleven and wanted to be either a princess or a mime.

Klaus shrugs. “Not really, but Dave says I can try different things out until I find something I like or something I’m good at.”

And then he’s off talking about how he applied to Hot Topic, and wouldn’t it be funny if I worked in Hot Topic, Ben?

And Ben nods along and laughs, but mostly he’s wondering what’s Dave’s angle. Other men that Klaus has ‘dated’ either wanted him to go out, get a job no matter what and pay bills, or they wanted to keep Klaus at home as their own little kept boy. At first glance, Ben assumed that Dave was the latter; a well-off man who wanted Klaus around to be eye candy and to be fun, until he got bored or found someone more respectable. But instead, he’s encouraging Klaus to get a job - not one that just pays the bills, but one that Klaus likes - and is actively trying to help him.

It throws Ben for a bit of a loop. He wonders again what’s Dave’s angle in all of this, and more importantly, how did Klaus manage to rope him in.

He doesn’t ask, instead, he just smiles and laughs with Klaus, and hopes that it all works out okay.

 -3: Five

It is Five’s considered opinion that Klaus’s taste in men is poor. More than once Five has run into some of Klaus’s… less desirable partners in the early morning, as they tried to leave Klaus’s room, or sometimes on the street as he’s walking through town (often they’re too strung out to recognize Five, which he’s more thankful for than repulsed by).

In general, Klaus’s taste in men seems to be those who are aggressive, self-centered, uneducated, mean, and, often, heavily intoxicated. Five really doesn’t want to know where Klaus found all of his previous partners.

Despite meeting Dave a few times with his family present, and him seeming the picture of chivalry, Five is still wary of him.

Dave is sitting on a sofa in the mansion, Klaus on his lap, both of them watching a tv show when Five stomps into the living room and flops on the opposite couch with a groan.

“Aw, did mom finally shut down your evil lair?” Klaus asks, and Dave snickers a bit into his shoulder.

“Shut up.” Five says though the sofa cushion makes it come out as a grumble. He rolls over. “That stupid receptionist made a mistake, so instead of going in for my fitting at four o’clock on Sunday, I have to go in at two o’clock on Wednesday, and mom isn’t able to pick me up, and Diego and Allison are both busy, so I have to bus all the way there from school, and it’s going to take me, like, an hour.”

Klaus gasps and says, “Oh, the tragedy of it all!”

Dave looks over at the annoyed teenager.

“What’s the fitting for?”

“My eye.” Five says, poking at his left eye without flinching and moving it around a bit. “My prosthetic is loose now, so I have to go in to get a new eye fitted.”

Dave makes an “Oh.” sound, and Five is already waiting for him to ask, ‘how did you lose your eye?’ if nothing else so he can snap at him.

“Do you want me to drive you?”

“It’s none of- what?” Five asks, eyebrows furrowing.

“Do you want me to drive you?” Dave repeats, “It sounds like it’ll be a hassle for you to bus, and I can’t promise I’ll be able to drive you home or to school after, but I can probably drive you there.”

Five blinks a few times. “Are you sure?”

Dave shrugs, jostling Klaus a bit. “Yeah, I’ll just go in early or stay a bit late at work and take a long lunch or something. It won’t be a problem.”

Five agrees, and Klaus says, “Aw, my little bro and my beau are bonding.” before kissing Dave’s cheek.

If that doesn’t aid in bettering Five’s opinion of Dave, the fact that when he picks Five up from school on Wednesday and hands him a cup of coffee does. It doesn’t even matter that it’s Starbucks.

As the doctor is poking around Five’s eye socket with gloved fingers, Five’s mind wanders and he wonders how did Klaus’s taste in men get so good all of a sudden.

 -2: Allison

Allison is perusing the dresses in the department store when she hears a familiar laugh. She looks up and is surprised to see Klaus bouncing up and down the aisles, an amused Dave following closely behind, arms full of different garments.

She waves and catches Klaus’ eye.

“Hey, Allison!” He says, maybe a bit too loudly for the store’s atmosphere. He walks over and gives her a hug. “What’s going on?”

“Not much, just looking around.” She eyes the pile in Dave’s arms. “What about you?”

Klaus - ever the dramatic - flings his arms around Dave. “My three-month probation has ended, so my darling, dear Dave is buying me a gift to celebrate!”

Allison's eyes widen. “Your what?!”

“My probation,” Klaus repeats, “at work.”

For a few seconds, Allison just stares. “You have a job?”

Klaus nods his head excitedly. “Yeah! I work as a receptionist for this yoga place. Dave knows the lady who owns it and helped me get it.”

“All I did was give her a call and asked if she was hiring, you got the job all by yourself,” Dave argues, looking at Klaus lovingly.

Allison congratulates Klaus, and the three of them look around the floor for a little bit, before Klaus goes to the changing room to try on the mountain of clothes that Dave was carrying. After a few moments of silence, Allison turns to Dave.

“Listen, Dave, I just wanted to say thank you for helping Klaus,” She sees Dave open his mouth to interrupt, but she presses on, “and I’m really happy that you and him seem to be getting on, but, well, don’t let him take advantage of you like this.”

Dave furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean ‘take advantage of me’?”

She motions to the fitting room. “Buying him all these things, getting him jobs, Ben told me that you’re pretty much living together now.”

Dave looks at her with a confused and vaguely insulted face. “We live together because we like spending time together. He got his own job, all I did was call my friend and ask if she was hiring. I didn’t even tell her Klaus’s name. I’m buying him gifts because I love him and he’s been working hard.”

Allison is about to respond, but this time Dave interrupts her. “You should think better of Klaus.”

At that, Allison is almost stunned into silence. She opens her mouth a few times to try and formulate a sentence, but nothing comes out. Instead, she just looks ahead.

After a few minutes, Klaus steps out of the fitting room, twirling and showing off one of the outfits that he and Dave picked out.

“You look gorgeous, baby,” Dave says, voice laced with love and affection. “Do another spin!”

And as Allison watches Klaus spin himself dizzy at Dave’s encouragements, she wonders what Klaus did to meet a guy like Dave.

 -1: Vanya

It’s Vanya’s turn to host the bi-monthly family dinner, and it’s always a tight squeeze around her dining room table.

Most of her siblings are already on their way to being pleasantly drunk, with Klaus already there. He’s told her that he’s cut out the harder things that he was addicted to, and has cut down on the less serious ones like weed and alcohol. For that alone, she decides not to comment on how he’s already drunk an entire bottle of wine by himself.

She goes to pour some more white wine into Dave’s glass when he puts his hand over the top and says, “No, thank you, Vanya. One’s enough for me for tonight.”

Vanya almost startles at that response. “Oh, uh, want some water then?”

Dave smiles and says yes please, so Vanya goes to the kitchen and gets a glass of water, wondering,  Seriously. How the hell is this guy with Klaus?

 +1: Diego

He’s at a bar with Patch and some of her police buddies when they see a kerfuffle across the room. It doesn’t seem to be a fight, but they still peer over, trying to see what the commotion is.

They see a man stumble as he tries to stand up off the floor, apologizing to the people he tripped over. Diego squints and lets out a surprised sound when he recognizes the man, despite his dishevelled appearance.

It’s Dave.

Ignoring the confused glances of Patch’s colleagues, Diego walks over to the clearly drunk man.

“Hey, Dave,” Diego says, causing Dave to look up. For a second he squints, confused before a wide smile breaks out on his face.

“Diego! Hi! Wow, hi, Diego,” he stumbles forward a bit to meet him. “What’s poppin’, my guy?”

“Are you good?” Diego asks, ignoring Dave’s slurred question.

“Oh, yeah, man, I’m fucking great! I’m just super drunk.” Dave laughs, and Diego sighs, starting to lead him back to where Patch is looking at them, strangely.

“Who’s your friend?” One of Patch’s friends asks. Diego stumbles a bit under Dave’s weight.

“This is Dave-” Diego starts, but before he can finish Dave chimes in.

“I’m fucking his brother.” He snorts as Diego looks at him in horror, but after a second, Dave’s face gets very serious. “Wait, Diego, are you just finding out now? Klaus is like.. Super gay, dude. We’re both super gay.”

“I know you’re both gay.” Diego snaps, trying to grab his stuff from the bar. Patch’s friends are laughing maniacally, and despite her best efforts, Patch is too. “What are you even doing here, man?”

“Some of my friends from college are in town. Klaus didn’t want to come, but that’s fine, because one of my friends used to be my coke dealer, except I was super broke in college so I would just suck him off, and that’s a really hard relationship to explain.” Dave blinks a few times. “Actually, it’s not hard to explain, ‘cuz I just did it.”

It’s Diego’s turn to laugh as Patch’s friends fall silent. “I’m going to take you home, Dave.”

“Mkay, Diego,” Dave says, almost entirely leaning against him. With some difficulty, they get outside.

“Wait,” Dave says, pushing Diego away. For a second, Diego thinks he’s going to go back in because he forgot something, but instead he vomits on the sidewalk. He coughs a few times, before standing up again. “Okay, I’m good now.”

Diego gets Dave into the passenger seat of his car and wrestles his seatbelt on. It only takes a few minutes to get Dave to remember his address and some vague directions. When the car starts moving, Dave closes his eyes and leans against the window.

“Did you really do coke in college?” Diego asks, trying to keep Dave from falling asleep.

“Of course I did,” Dave mumbles. “Who doesn’t do coke in college?”

“I didn’t.”

“Yeah, well, you hang out with a bunch of narcs now, so I’m not surprised.”

Diego laughs at the seemingly uncharacteristic response. There’s a few moments of silence, and Diego can hear Dave sigh and slide further down the seat.

“So how did you meet Klaus?” Diego asks. Dave seems to instantly perk up at the sound of his boyfriend’s name. “I don’t think either of you have ever told us.”

“We meet in Vietnam,” Dave says, a dopey grin on his face. Diego furrows his eyebrows and takes a left turn.

“When were both of you in Vietnam?”

“I was there for a month on vacation. Klaus showed up about a week into the trip. I was staying at a hostel near the A Sầu Valley with some friends I was travelling with. They went out to a bar but I didn’t want to go. Instead, I went for a walk outside, in the moonlight. And then, Klaus found me…” Diego is once again surprised by Dave’s romantic nature, the seemingly endless amount of affection he holds for Klaus in his eyes and tone, and how much adoration he- “trying to eat moss.”

“...What?”

“He found me trying to eat moss. I read that some were edible and it looked cool so I wanted to give it a go.” Dave laughs a bit to himself. “And then I just pulled him around the country with me and my buds. And then it was time to go home to Palo Alto, but the thought of leaving without Klaus made me want to die. So I called my landlord, got my sisters to pack up all my stuff and ship it, quit my job, and came back with Klaus.”

Diego stops at a light and uses the opportunity to stare at Dave. “... you moved across country… to be with Klaus… after three weeks of knowing him?”

“Would’ve done it after one week, but we both wanted to see Ha Long Bay.”

Diego is stunned into silence for the remainder of the drive. When he pulls up to Dave’s apartment building, he sees him struggling with the seatbelt, so Diego figures he’ll need to help him get to his apartment.

There’s a few minutes of struggle to get Dave out of the car and into an elevator. He stumbles the whole way. They get to his door, and on principle, Diego refuses to rifle through his brother’s boyfriend’s pockets to find keys. He knocks on the door.

After a few seconds, a sleepy looking Klaus opens the door. His hair is longer than the last time Diego saw him, and he’s wearing a hoodie that Diego is pretty sure belongs to Dave.

“Babe!” Dave croons, throwing himself at Klaus, “I missed you so much!”

“Aw, I missed you too, sweetie-pie,” Klaus replies, grinning wide as he presses a kiss to the side of Dave’s head. “Hey, Diego? What are you doing here?”

“Ran into him,” Diego says, staring as Dave seems to try to burrow into Klaus’s neck. “He was pretty wasted so I gave him a ride home.”

“Oh, thanks, bro!” Klaus wraps his arms tighter around Dave.

“No problem,” Diego pauses for a second. “He told me how you guys met.”

“Oh, in ‘Nam?”

“Yeah. When did you go to Vietnam?”

“Like, eight months ago.” Klaus shrugs and pets Dave’s hair, ignoring his brother’s shocked expression. “I think I got to get my darling dearest to bed. See you at brunch next week, Diego.”

“Yeah, goodnight.” Diego mumbles, as Klaus closes the door. Even after the lock clicks, he can hear his brother laughing and Dave stumbling around.

For the first time since he met Dave, Diego thinks,  Maybe he is perfect for Klaus .

 ++1: Everyone

“Okay, so don’t be mad, but Dave and I got married on 4/20, so that our fiftieth anniversary would be 4/20/69, and I know that none of you were invited, but don’t worry: we’re going to throw a party soon to celebrate!” Klaus says as he and Dave walk into the mansion on Brunch Day.

Everyone stares at the grinning couple, both of them almost vibrating with excitement.

“You got married on 4/20?” Five asks, in disbelief.

“It was my idea!” Dave almost shouts, voice filled with pride.

“Yeah, it was, baby!” Klaus raises his hand for a high five, which Dave enthusiastically returns.

And  yeah  , everyone thinks,  maybe they do make sense together.

#klave #klaus x dave #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy fic #klaus hargreeves #dave katz

[unlockthelore]

Botany Honesty

Flowers have been appearing all over the Minamino household but they aren't Kurama's own.

Chapter 8 of 18 for the fic Sarayashiki Scramble on Ao3, for more updates follow the sarayashiki scramble and/or growing pains tags.

“Oh Shuuichi,” Shiori crooned, cradling her cheek against her hand as she stood in front of the window sill. A warm smile directed at Kurama as he looked away from the television, eyebrow raised. “These are lovely. Thank you so much.”

Kurama was accustomed to praise — his mother never shying from congratulating him honestly and openly for his achievements and giving thanks for the things he did around their home — but those times were for acts he was deserving of or at least he had some memory of doing. Peering past her to the window sill, he squinted.

“What… did I do?” He asked carefully, not wanting to come across too confused lest it was something otherworldly she was referring to.

Anxiety pricked beneath his skin, agitating his youki at the sight of a small cluster of white-petaled flowers sitting on the window sill. They were in a small container, the soil darkened with moisture and even from where he sat — he could tell they were well taken care of.

The only issue was that they were not his.

“The flowers,” Shiori clarified, gesturing to the cluster with the index finger of the hand caressing her cheek. Her brows furrowed in thought when Kurama came closer, inspecting the flowers closely. “… Is something wrong, Shuuichi?”

Kurama spared her a small smile before focusing his attention on their stems. His plants would have told him if there was a foreign entity in his home. And he wasn’t aware of his mother receiving any flowers as of late. Nor were there any delivered for him. He hadn’t grown sagisō in centuries, a thought curdling in his mind and quickly dismissed. Brushing his fingers along the stem, traces of youki running throughout the fibers bristled the hairs on the back of Kurama’s neck.

A deep inhale swelling his chest at the spark of heat followed by a rush of cold.

“Shuuichi?” Shiori repeated, her hand a comforting weight upon Kurama’s shoulder.

He glanced toward her then pulled his hand away, brushing his knuckle against the petals before drawing his hand back entirely. “I believe these are from Hiei, mother.”

Shiori blinked at him owlishly. “Hiei?” She echoed back in disbelief, her nose scrunching in that thoughtful expression Kurama found adorable on her. “Are you sure?”

Kurama could practically imagine Hiei standing in a flower shop, trying to find what he was looking for. The fire demon was working on his people skills but his scowl could still frighten others into giving him a wide berth. Still, it was sweet. Hiei in his usual dark clothing bearing small sprouts and seeds with the intent to grow them himself. Did he give that same little confident smirk when he achieved a victory or did he smile softly, one of the ones that made Kurama forget to breathe.

Dismissing the thought, Kurama nodded. “I’m certain.”

Hiei was the only demon he knew with energy so conflicting. Warm and cold, scalding and freezing, a state of push and pull much like Hiei himself.

“Hmm…” Shiori looked at the flowers closely, brushing the tips of her fingers against their petals with care. “I wonder why he would hide something like this.”

Unfortunately, Kurama had several ideas of why Hiei would hide something like this. Outright displays of affection and care weren’t the fire demon’s modus operandi. Hiei preferred to do things quietly and without much fanfare. Anything louder than that was a quick way to startle him. Direct as he could be, he was remarkably —

“He is a little shy,” Shiori mused aloud, stealing the words from Kurama’s thoughts and surprising him for half a second. “Telling him I know might not be the best idea.”

Kurama smiled faintly. Not for the first time was he impressed with his mother’s situational awareness and care for others. Fondness in his eyes as he patted her hand, explaining gently. “It’s better you make him believe you think I have been responsible.”

With a quick survey of the room, Kurama could find several bouquets and arrangements with the faint outline of Hiei’s youki in their petals and stems. Relief that his plants’ defense was working coupled with confusion that he hadn’t noticed the new additions to his home sooner and pride in Hiei’s ability not only to hide his intention but learning how to manipulate plant life as well. He must have been practicing because each arrangement was better than the last.

“You may be right, Shuuichi,” Shiori said as she patted his arm. “Well, how you do feel about having Hiei’s favorite tonight?”

As far as discrete ways of showing care went, Shiori’s idea wasn’t a bad one. Material things were a bit hard for Hiei to dismiss depending on who they were from but food — granted that it wasn’t poisoned or inedible — was acceptable on his terms.

Kurama regarded Shiori warmly, squeezing her hand. Pleased with how much thought his mother was putting into Hiei’s comfort. “I don’t mind.”

Light danced in her eyes. Her cheeks flushed as she smiled and squeezed his arm in response, giving a light pat to his shoulder before she turned to leave. Already tying her hair back in a loose ponytail. “I’ll stop by the store,” she said, peering over her shoulder at him with a hand pressed to the wall, half-leaning back and half-stepping forward. “Try not to tell him to keep the surprise, alright?”

Miming a zipping motion across his lips, Kurama tossed the proverbial key away and Shiori laughed softly. Following her to the doorway, he saw her off with a slight smile then sighed.

Only Hiei could give him a slight scare about a thoughtful gesture. Still, Kurama was curious. How had the fire demon’s studies on flower languages progressed? He could remember Hiei reading many things while they sat together in his bedroom, amiable silence between them, but he never questioned the material occupying Hiei’s attention. Wandering back to the living room, Kurama looked at the sagisō then glanced at the bouquets sitting on the cabinets against the far wall.

They were placed strategically around framed pictures of Kurama and Shiori.

Azaleas, their soft pink petals in full bloom.

Anemone, their white leaves tinged with red making them pinker halfway to their center.

Bluebells, healthy although the shade of their bloom was lighter than it was meant to be.

Kurama chuckled softly, thinking to give them a jolt o f his youki then second-guessing it. This was Hiei’s gesture to Shiori. It wouldn’t do for Kurama to interfere but that didn’t mean he couldn’t help but push either of them along. Hiei would simply have to forgive him later.

─── 幽☆遊☆白書

When Hiei arrived, Kurama remained silent as he watched him step through the house purposefully. Routine was important to Hiei but so were tasks. Goal-oriented as he was, Hiei could be dutiful when he had a task set in front of him and hellbent on completing it to the best of his ability. Even still, Kurama found it charming and interesting watching him go through the motions. Dressed in human clothes, both fitting to his form and loose enough for his comfort. A tank top much like the others he kept in Kurama’s closet and dark sweatpants with pockets deep enough that none would notice Hiei palming the few seeds in his pocket until it was too late.

If there was one thing Kurama liked about Hiei the most, it was his ingenuity. He was always thinking even when it seemed as if he wasn’t. Instinct went hand in hand with preparation. And though he overwhelmed his enemies with brute force, Hiei was a quick-thinker.

And surprisingly amenable to limitations, within reason, or his level of reason that is.

After finding out early on that he wouldn’t be allowed to walk around the city freely with Shiori while carrying his sword, even if it was mistaken as a prop, he found other ways to feel secure whilst on his own. Though throwing knives at humans and Kurama wanted to point out that none would be stupid enough to attack his mother where he was nearby — but Yatsude was a looming topic.

No matter how strong they were, there would always be someone around to try and swipe their feet from under them. He knows though that Hiei will always be there to catch him and he certainly won’t take any slight unanswered.

Though with his attention on Hiei again, Kurama’s somewhat surprised to see him stroll about the room. Feeding the plants with his energy. A bit at a time to each of them, attentive in brushing his fingers along their petals and over the stems, in the same manner, Kurama showed him. He’s mesmerized honestly. He didn’t think Hiei was paying that much attention.

And it wasn’t until the fire demon got to the sagisō and lingered there for a beat too long that Kurama knew he was found out. While he hated teasing Hiei when he was being sweet, this was an opportunity he couldn’t pass up.

─── 幽☆遊☆白書

When Hiei arrived, Kurama remained silent as he watched him step through the house purposefully. Routine was important to Hiei but so were tasks. Goal-oriented as he was, Hiei could be dutiful when he had a task set in front of him and hellbent on completing it to the best of his ability.

Even still, Kurama found it charming and interesting watching him go through the motions. Dressed in human clothes, both fitting to his form and loose enough for his comfort. A tank top much like the others he kept in Kurama’s closet and dark sweatpants with pockets deep enough that none would notice Hiei palming the few seeds in his pocket until it was too late.

If there was one thing Kurama liked about Hiei the most, it was his ingenuity. He was always thinking even when it seemed as if he wasn’t. Instinct went hand in hand with preparation. And though he overwhelmed his enemies with brute force, Hiei was a quick-thinker.

And surprisingly amenable to limitations, within reason, or his level of reason that is.

After finding out early on that he wouldn’t be allowed to walk around the city freely with Shiori while carrying his sword, even if it was mistaken as a prop, Hiei found other ways to feel secure whilst on his own. Though Hiei throwing knives at humans who irritated him or tried to hassle Shiori wasn’t allowed — though Kurama was somewhat contemplative on the latter.

When the argument resurfaced now and again, Kurama wanted to point out that none would be stupid enough to attack his mother where he was nearby — but Yatsude was a looming topic.

No matter how strong they were, there would always be someone around to try and swipe their feet from under them. He knows though that Hiei will always be there to catch him and he certainly won’t take any slight unanswered.

Though with his attention on Hiei again, Kurama’s somewhat surprised to see him stroll about the room. Feeding the plants with his energy. A bit at a time to each of them, attentive in brushing his fingers along their petals and over the stems, in the same manner Kurama showed him. He’s mesmerized honestly. He didn’t think Hiei was paying that much attention.

And it wasn’t until the fire demon got to the sagisō and lingered there for a beat too long that Kurama knew he was found out. While he hated teasing Hiei when he was being sweet, this was an opportunity he couldn’t pass up.

Descending the stairs with his best smile in tact, Kurama called out, “Welcome back,” pressing his lips together firmly to stifle laughter at the tension in Hiei’s frame. The fire demon didn’t turn to face him and perhaps it was a trick of the light but Kurama could swear the tips of his ears were turning red. After a beat, Hiei slowly turned to look over his shoulder, a sliver of crimson eyes visible and narrowed at him suspiciously.

Keeping his voice level, Kurama cocked his head to one side and asked, “Where have you been?”

After being together for so long, Kurama knew the distrust in Hiei’s eyes was from his antics rather than the fire demon’s feelings of him personally. Still, it was amusing to see Hiei try to read the room and guess what game he was playing this time. A downward quirk of his lips followed.

“…Why?”

Kurama folded his arms across his chest, a thrill going through him as the game continued. Hiei was on his guard. Good. It would make this all the more enjoyable. “Curious,” Kurama said offhandedly, hiking his shoulders in a shrug.

The distance between them gradually closed as he ambled over to Hiei, the fire demon instinctually taking a step back and turning to face him. Ever at the ready to stare down an opponent no matter the difference in stature or power. Something Kurama admired about him unabashed. However, this battle was already lost before it began.

Leaning down until their lips were a hairs breadth away, catching the slight dilation of Hiei’s pupils as crimson eyes lightened to scarlet, glowing in the shadows cast by Kurama so close to him. A touch of pink blossoming across Hiei’s cheeks, softer than the harsh red of his eyes but no less beautiful. Their breaths warm and tickling beneath Kurama’s nose and Hiei’s gaze temporarily falling somewhere around Kurama’s mouth. Closing and stealing the sight of scarlet eyes as Kurama leant closer, dodging from Hiei’s mouth to place his lips by his ear.

“It’s not often you go looking for flowers,” he whispered.

The reaction was instantaneous. Hiei, springing to life, tried to put as much distance between them as possible but his back was nearly pressed to the window sill and the cluster of sagisō nearly rocked from their perch — was grabbed tightly and righted by the fire demon’s hands. Kurama arched a brow, smiling amusedly as Hiei set the pot where it belonged then turned to him with reddened cheeks and narrowed eyes.

“I wasn’t,” Hiei spat out in that familiar pissed off tone he used when he was caught.

Kurama smiled. Nose to nose, he could appreciate Hiei’s eyes up close and soak in the lovely waves of heat radiating from him. The reddened flush to his tanned skin was just as cute this close and Kurama resisted the urge to brush his lips against it — not like Hiei would let him with how annoyed he was at being caught.

“It’s been such a long time since you’ve lied to me,” Kurama sighed wistfully, enjoying the way Hiei’s flush darkens. “Besides, I know your youki, Hiei.”

Hiei snorted at that and as if trying to save face, he sneered, “I practically live here. I could have always touched them in passing.”

While that was a sound argument, it was hardly one that would explain how deeply the plants had accepted Hiei’s presence. Even now, Kurama could feel them reaching for the fire demon with his increasing youki pressure. Perhaps he should try to calm Hiei down first.

“Why’ve you been leaving flowers around?” Kurama asked in a softer tone, attempting to convey he wasn’t teasing too much and genuinely curious.

Hiei flushes hotter but the heat gradually ebbs away when he notices the vines overhead writhing. A soft huff passing through his lips and the flare of his nostrils before he turned his back. Fingers brushing against the white petals of the sagisō carefully, giving it a jolt of his youki. A bit more than the others, perhaps a way to apologize for neglecting it. Kurama smiled, feeling pleased that Hiei remembered the stubbornness of nature.

“You know their meaning,” Hiei muttered after a long while, his face hidden from Kurama’s view and so badly, the fox wanted to turn him around and see what he was missing.

But this was a delicate process and Hiei, in spite of all his bluster, could be a delicate person when emotionally vulnerable at least.

“I do.”

Kurama settled his youki against the firm wall of Hiei’s own, waiting as he always did for the access that came, where the fire demon allowed their energies to blend together.

Hand falling to his side, Hiei grumbles under his breath, “… So why’re you asking…?”

“Because it ’s better for you to admit it yourself.”

Kurama smiles softly and reaches out to brush his fingers along the fire demon’s wrist, lightly tracing the curve of his hand and linking their pinkies together. When Hiei doesn’t pull his hand away, Kurama uses the slight hold to anchor himself in Hiei’s presence so the fire demon isn’t swept away into his own thoughts.

Hiei is silent but the tips of his ears redden, and Kurama could only imagine the face he was making. A light squeeze to his pinky rewards him with a quick glimpse of crimson eyes, and the flushed bridge of Hiei’s nose before he turns away again. Robbing Kurama both of the sight and the opportunity to press a kiss to his cheek.

“It’s a thanks. Each one… even if she doesn’t understand it.. I’m not… she doesn’t know…”

With every failed attempt to explain himself, Kurama could practically see the waves of heat and anxiousness rolling off Hiei’s shoulders. He could piece it together though. Hiei was attempting to thank Shiori for — everything — and in typical Hiei fashion, he couldn’t outrightly do so. For more reason than one. So he resorted to an offhanded way of showing affection, one where neither of them felt obligated to explain or reciprocate, and his intentions were kept under wraps.

Kurama was grateful Hiei was turned away from him now. The smile he was wearing would’ve likely had the fire demon up in arms and spitting at him with embarrassed anger. Stepping closer, he relinquished his hold on Hiei’s finger to wrap his arms around him instead. A punch of air sharply inhaled and swelling Hiei’s chest led the fire demon to stiffen up in Kurama’s hold. But his arms were kept loose and he pressed a light kiss to the top of Hiei’s head, opening his palms to show he meant no harm.

He could feel Hiei’s piercing gaze tracing the line of his arms and then overhead at the vines hidden around their home. When no attack gave from above, below or behind, Hiei relaxed and allowed Kurama to tighten his hold just a bit.

“This is a very sweet gesture, Hiei.”

Hiei hummed softly, seeming to think the words over as he leant against him, letting Kurama brace his weight. “Does she know?”

Ah, and there was the problem. While he didn’t relish in lying to Hiei, if he told him that Shiori knew and he was the one who told him — he wouldn’t be as amenable to contact as he was now. Then again, Shiori had asked him not to tell and they were both being quite secretive.

So who was he to ruin their gestures?

“She has seen the flowers.”

If Hiei noticed anything odd in his tone, he didn’t speak on it. “Does she like them?” He asked, a small undercurrent of worry in his tone, barely noticeable unless one has spent a long time listening to Hiei’s voice and Kurama has — in great detail too.

Smiling down at the fire demon with undisguised fondness, Kurama felt his human heart flutter and the demon side of him wanted nothing more than to hold Hiei as close as he could. Protect that little heart as long as possible. But he controlled himself before his hold on him could grow too tight and uncomfortable.

“I believe she does.”

“Good…”

Hiei allowed him to stay like that for a bit longer but once the hug began to chafe the fire demon’s nerves, Kurama released him. Watching as Hiei ascended the steps with a sliver of a smile visible on his lips, Kurama chuckled to himself and went to sit on the couch. Admiring the plants with Hiei's youki emanating from their petals, a smile curving his lips.

Tonight would be interesting.

─── 幽☆遊☆白書

When Shiori returns home, Kurama greets her from upstairs and turns a blind eye when Hiei races downstairs to greet her. He’d always been courteous enough to help her with the shopping but Kurama could hear Shiori gently refusing the aid this time. No doubt with seeing the contents of the bags, Hiei would be able to figure out the surprise waiting for him.

To Kurama’s surprise, the door to his bedroom opened and Hiei stepped through seeming somewhat menacing for someone with bedhead and a carton of ice cream in hand. Although with the way Hiei brandished his spoon, it could have been a weapon.

“…How does she know?” Hiei asked, lifting the ice cream carton and the image of roses along with a popular game character brought a smile to Kurama’s face. While it was both flattering and amusing that one of Hiei’s favorite ice cream flavors was rose, Shiori remembering it after seeing the fire demon eat whole cartons of it by himself was heartwarming.

“How indeed?” Kurama echoed back, turning his back to Hiei and returning to writing out the last bit of his homework. The desk creaked lightly with added weight. Hiei sitting on the edge of it, just shy of his study materials. A thoughtful reprimand set on Kurama’s lips but watching the fire demon eat the rose-pink treat with such gusto was far more interesting than Kurama’s schoolwork. Hiei’s eyes glowed in the darkness, a bright scarlet shining in the darkness like gems. Rough around the edges though he was, Hiei was a gem himself.

A treasure handled roughly by the world but never once losing its shine. And somehow, he’d fallen right in Kurama’s hands. Not his. Not quite. But oh how Kurama wanted him to be.

“You’re staring.”

When Kurama refocused, he noticed Hiei was staring at him in turn. Quickly averting his gaze with that sweet little flush to his skin. This time, giving in to his desire, Kurama reached out to brush his knuckle against his cheeks.

“I enjoy looking at you.”

Hiei snorts, somehow managing to balance the spoon between his lips and roll his eyes at the same time. “Strange,” he muttered, though he didn’t move away from Kurama’s inquisitive touch. Running his knuckle against Hiei’s cheeks, admiring smooth skin with faint scars healed by the passage of time.

“That is far from the worst thing I have been called,” Kurama pointed out, his eyes half-lidded as he immediately regretted those words when Hiei stiffened beneath his touch.

They both were cursed with their own shares of misfortunes and while he tried not to speak on his often, sometimes brief glimpses brought back unsavory memories for Hiei. An apology nestled between Kurama’s lips but it was quickly swallowed when Hiei parted his lips.

“Beloved.”

Kurama’s eyes widened. The fire demon shoveling another spoonful of ice cream in his mouth as a wave of glorious heat rolled off him. So sharply that Kurama couldn’t deny the word he’d heard or the person he heard it from.

“What?”

Hiei, seemingly understanding that Kurama wouldn’t let this topic just drop, sighed. “You’re loved…” He stated, with a gentle harshness that only he was capable of. “By the people who matter…” The courage which seemed to spur him to continue speaking faltered and Kurama silently urged him on. But Hiei took one look at him and averted his gaze, eating another spoonful slower than before. “You’re strange, but you’re loved…”

Loved. That word again.

He wanted to ask if he was loved by Hiei. If Hiei was the one to tell him that he loved him, would it be different than all the others who gave their undying loyalty and affection to him? In the back of his mind, he knew the answer to that was yes. But wanting to hear it overwhelmed logic. To feel it himself. What it would be for Hiei to adore him as much.

Finding answers in the fire demon’s actions was one thing but his words held power. A weight Kurama would gladly carry no matter how much it frightened him.

Rising from his chair, he stepped in front of Hiei and reached out to him. It didn’t escape his notice. Hurt glimmering in scarlet eyes. The world may have treated Hiei with contempt and scorn but Kurama would give him as much comfort as possible.

“Kura— mmph?!”

Kurama smiled, wrapping his arms around Hiei and hugging him close to his chest.

Hiei startled, barely able to move his ice cream aside. Confusion spiked and sent ripples through his energy but Kurama smoothed it out with his own and a hand brushing through the back of Hiei’s hair. It was unfair how easily Hiei melted against him or the way fire demon’s eyes could make him squirm inside. Wanting to be as close to him as possible and also afar just to admire him and all did.

“The ice cream is sweet,” Hiei said, though it sounded more like a warning.

Kurama has the decency to nod at least. He knew the ice cream was sweet. Hiei’s sweet tooth was almost a contender against his love for fighting. One of the things Kurama couldn’t understand about him. Sweets weren’t so much his thing and yet, he received them constantly.

“Bear with it.”

It takes a second for the words to spark a realization in Kurama’s mind. The tiny space between them obliterated in an instant with Hiei’s gentle breaths, sweet with the scent of roses, tickling his lips. Warm lips pressed to Kurama’s own and with a languid swipe of his tongue along the seam of Hiei’s, he could taste the sweetness of the ice cream and Hiei’s own scent. Hearing a soft groan, Hiei’s lips parted for him and Kurama decided he didn’t mind the sweetness. A few light taps to the inside of the fire demon’s thighs granting him access between them and closeness to Hiei.

Heat engulfs him from every angle but it isn’t scalding. Hiei’s body temperature regulates enough to be warm and comfortable, but it’s a steady battle. Rising just a bit then falling as the fire demon tries to maintain his control. Kurama wanted to smile. He knew that control, the tight lid Hiei kept on his emotions to keep them from burning everything around him. Outside of anyone else’s sight, he could be emotional —

— Passionate, even.

And Kurama relished being allowed to see it. Feeling Hiei’s fingers combing through his hair, twirling locks of red hair around calloused fingers. Tugging lightly enough to make Kurama groan, bringing their chests flushed together. The height difference is always a point of interest but with the desk beneath Hiei, they can make due. Slivers of skin from the fire demon’s shirt riding up are explored by Kurama’s hands, pressing purposefully at his hips in a way that makes Hiei hiss and arch his back.

Kurama almost wanted to tease but he isn’t sure Hiei would take it well right now. Not with his eyes glowing like that and the way he tugged at Kurama’s hair, this time coaxing a sharp grunt and the harsh press of their lips. Sweetness from the ice-cream being the only soft thing about the kiss. The arch of Hiei’s hips catching him off guard just as Shiori’s voice called upstairs, breaking the haze they’d settled in and calling them down for dinner.

Hiei’s breath leaves him with a disgruntled growl, animalistic and dangerous beneath his breath. Much like Kurama though, his appreciation and adoration for Shiori overwhelms the annoyance at being interrupted. Though for a moment Kurama thinks it over how long it would take for it to become rude that they hadn’t arrived. One minute, two…?

Kurama hummed. With the mood Hiei would be in after discovering Shiori’s surprise, they may have time to revisit this. And the fire demon may not be as sweet then. Kurama pressed his fingers against Hiei’s hips, garnering his attention. Hazy crimson eyes meeting Kurama’s own as he pressed another kiss, light and teasing, against Hiei’s lips. It lingered with the hold the fire demon had on his hair but unraveling Hiei was one of his proficiencies and Kurama took pride in escaping his grasp, leaving him grasping at the air confusedly.

“Dinner,” Kurama called over his shoulder, feeling the tips of Hiei’s fingers brush against his back before he danced out of his reach, slipping through the door with a slight smile over his shoulder.

Finding Shiori seated at the dinner table with a spread in front of her fit to fill a small army, or the stomach of an unsuspecting fire demon, Kurama smiled. A flicker of mischief in his eyes that his mother hopefully doesn’t see when she turns her attention to Hiei. Kurama took his seat with as much grace as he could muster, folding his hands in his lap and looking toward the fire demon.

An adorable and admittedly hilarious confused look shows, Hiei’s eyes narrowed and scanning the dishes, lingering on a few of them longer than others — the beef bowls, fried tempura with lotus root — to name a few. All of Hiei’s favorites laid out for him with Shiori’s smiling face beaming at him and Kurama trying not to look as amused as he felt..

Hiei’s lips parted but no sound came forth. The gears in his mind practically on display as they turned, his attention shifting to Shiori despite the sharp jab of his energy against Kurama’s own.

“… Why?”

Shiori doesn’t bat an eye at the question, though her gaze drops lower to somewhere near Hiei’s hands. “I hope you didn’t spoil your appetite,” she said in a gentle lilting tone. Kurama’s attention brought to the carton of rose ice cream in the fire demon’s hands. Eyebrows raising when he glances toward his mother then back, giving Hiei a little smile and a light nod toward the fridge. A wave of heat darkens Hiei’s cheeks and he avoids their gaze, walking to the fridge briskly to put it away.

“Well, it’s alright,” Shiori sighs, giving Kurama an amused side-long glance as she waved her hand dismissively. “Come sit down, Hiei.”

「 What is this for, Kurama? 」

Hiei’s indignation is sharp. Words cutting through the pleasant haze left from their kiss and the delicious aroma of Shiori’s cooking. Without missing a beat, Kurama gave a quick prayer before thanking Shiori for cooking. She brushed it off with a smile and assured them both to eat their fill. Hiei’s soft smile, light and adoring, didn’t match the angry jab of his energy. Hot and unforgiving against Kurama’s own. But he deflected it blow from blow, only causing the tiniest buzzing in the lights.

A far cry from their usual fights or intimate moments.

「 What have you done for her recently? 」

In the midst of taking a snapping bite of his tempura, the color of Hiei’s eyes flickered from a deep crimson to a bright scarlet. They narrow accusingly, leveling Kurama with a stare that might have killed many demons or rendered them to ash but he reveled under.

「 Did you tell her? 」

Rationally speaking, admitting it to Hiei now would only appease the fire demon’s anger for a moment. And that’s not what Kurama wanted at all. He wanted to play with Hiei just a bit more and this sort of game — where neither of them were holding much at stake but their pride — was one of the best.

Answering a question about some of his “friends” at school, Kurama smiled politely at Shiori before listening to her launch into another story about her co-workers. His mind wandering to Hiei and the flicker of a petulant glare.

「 Now Hiei, why would I do such a thing? 」

It’s sweet that after all that’s been handed to him, Hiei hadn’t come to the realization of Kurama’s game. Perhaps it was a testament to the fire demon’s ever-growing faith in him or a temporary blindspot after escaping potential embarrassment with finding out Shiori knew of his gifts beforehand. The meaning is lost on Kurama but the trick is up. Knowing flashes in Kurama’s eyes and the stern press of their youki is the closest they’ll have to Hiei standing against him like this.

「 After dinner, you’re mine. 」

「 Is that a promise? 」

A promise of roughness lingers in the growl echoing in Kurama’s mind, a warning or an assurance, or both. He’s not sure but dinner continues without a hitch and the promise lingers in the back of his mind. Like the dutiful soul he is, Hiei helps Shiori with the dishes and while Kurama would’ve been normally charmed by the sight, he wanted nothing more than to drag Hiei upstairs and see just how far his honesty would go today.

Brushing past him with a light drag of his fingers against Hiei’s lower back, Kurama smiled himself at the answering growl in Hiei’s voice.

「 You’re not out of trouble, fox. 」

Of course not, and if Kurama was honest, he didn’t want to be.

「 And I happily await my punishment. 」

While waiting in his room, it crosses Kurama’s mind after a half hour passes that it certainly doesn’t take that long to wash dishes. He couldn’t hear the familiar thrum of Shiori’s energy in the kitchen — in fact, the static from the television could be heard until his mother found a show she wanted to watch. Trying to trace Hiei’s energy was difficult though. Even in his own domain, Hiei’s energy was diffused about the household and difficult to pin down when the fire demon was hiding.

Kurama narrowed his eyes, perched at the edge of his bed with his legs crossed. So Hiei was hiding. To get back at him perhaps? Or to catch him off guard?

Before he could think of either answer, the door knob clicked and turned, the door slowly pushed open. Hiei stepping through and shutting it behind him. Kurama smirking to himself at the sound of the lock clicking into placing. From under dark bangs, Hiei blinked at him, scarlet eyes shining in the darkness and mesmerizing. Catching faint glimmers of moonlight briefly til Hiei turned his back to the window and stalked closer to him.

“Kurama,” Hiei mutters with a smile with far too much teeth to be friendly. Anticipation curls hot in Kurama’s navel and he sat up a bit straighter as the fire demon neared, gaze transfixed on Hiei’s eyes.

“Yes, Hiei?” Kurama answered sweetly, tipping his head one side.

Hiei’s smile thins and Kurama’s heart beats hard enough that he wonders if Hiei could hear it. From the spark in his eyes, Kurama believes he did. “You told her, didn’t you?”

Tipping his head back, Kurama smiled and let the saccharine words slip from his lips in a purr, “Of course I did.”

A wicked grin curves Hiei’s lips. “That dinner wasn’t purely out of want.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” Kurama cooed almost sympathetically, though the smile he wore was anything but. “She wanted to thank you without making you uncomfortable.”

“How thoughtful of her,” Hiei said airily, cocking his head to one side. “And deceptive of you.”

It’s… odd. Like this, Kurama knew Hiei was dangerous. It was one of his quirks, or so he liked to put it, a new thing he found about the fire demon by sheer accident. When his pupils would slit and contract, eyes glowing brighter and his movements while normally graceful and sleek were laced with a deadly coyness, like Hiei was a coiled spring ready to loosen at any moment. It reminded Kurama of the Makai. Lying in wait for an enemy. Watching their every move.

But Hiei wasn’t trying to tear him apart.

No, he’d seen the fire demon when he wanted blood. And this was far from that. Hiei tugged up the hem of his tank top and pulled it over his head, ruffling dark hair and temporarily breaking the trance Kurama found himself in gazing at those eyes.

His chest swelled with a deep breath and he tried to resist the urge to shiver as Hiei tossed his shirt aside, toeing closer to him, footsteps making no sound at all. Oh, Hiei was deadly. He could have killed him at any moment. But he wouldn’t and they both knew why.

“What can I do to have you forgive me?”

Hiei’s eyes flashed and his wicked grin was all teeth. In an instant, he was gone. In another, Kurama registered his back pressed against the comforter and Hiei’s hands curled around his wrists keeping them pinned beside his head.

“Stay right here,” Hiei whispered, his breath tickling against Kurama’s lips, scarlet eyes bearing into green ones. A full-bodied shiver running through him as he arched his back to test his movement. Hiei growling lower in his throat and squeezing his wrists enough to make him sigh.

A small grin curved Kurama’s lips as he smacked a kiss at Hiei, chuckling afterward.

Hiei smirked, squeezing his wrists lightly. “Something amusing, beloved?”

That sound and the way the word rolls off his tongue as if it were meant to be there catches Kurama off guard. Endearments were no stranger to him but genuine ones, ones that gave him pause were. Blood rushed to his cheeks and Kurama turned his head away, attempting to hide it when Hiei mouthed long kisses at his nape. Grazing his fangs along his collarbone.

“Nothing at all,” Kurama sighed, tipping his head back.

─── 幽☆遊☆白書

The next morning came slowly. Kurama’s eyes opening and a soft groan muffled against his pillow at the scratches etched into his back and along his sides. When he turned his head, the space beside him was empty and the latch on the window was undone. He sighed softly, propping his head up on his fist. A light sparkle from the golden sun rays filtered through the curtains caught on something on the window sill. One of his vines, dutiful as always, brought it closer to him and he smiled at the rosebud and a crimson-red rose, both carrying a familiar warmth and chill.

#yu yu hakusho #yyh #kurahi #kurama #hiei #sarayashiki scramble #growing pains #fanfiction #my fanfiction

[cartoonsliveon]

Code Lyoko Pokemon AU

Jeremy is from the Johto region and specializes with electric and steel type Pokemon. His father was a Pokemon researcher and Jeremy wants to follow in his father's footsteps by traveling the world and discovering as many different types of Pokemon as possible. He starts his journey on a mission to collect data for the Pokemon Professors, which will hopefully benefit all of their research. His starter Pokemon, despite being from Johto, is a Beldum. When he was younger, he accompanied his father on a research trip to Hoenn when they encountered an injured Beldum. Jeremy had insisted they bring the wild Pokemon to the Pokemon center and was by its side the entire time. The Beldum had bonded with Jeremy and the two had become inseparable ever since.

Jeremy's complete Pokemon team includes his Beldum/Metang/Metagross, Magnemite/Magneton, Rotom, Porygon, Bronzor, and a Joltik/Galvantula.

Ulrich comes from Hoenn, and comes from a family of gym leaders. There's a lot of pressure on Ulrich to one day take over the gym and be Hoenn's master of fighting types. And of course, because of his family, he specializes with fighting types. His starter pokemon was a Torchic, a decision pushed upon him by his family because Torchic's evolutions are dual fire and fighting types. Ulrich, frustrated with the expectations set up for him, ran away from home to try his hand at becoming the Pokemon Champion. His thought process is that if he can accomplish something no one else in his family has, maybe they will back off and leave him alone. What he doesn't anticipate is that, if he did become the Pokemon Master, his family would pressure him to settle for nothing but the best and hold that position. The first person he meets on his journey is Odd, because he helped Odd out in a jam. Ever since then he hasn't been able to shake him, not that he really minds if he is being honest.

Ulrich's complete Pokemon team includes his Torchic/Combustion/Blaziken, Heracross, Croagunk/Toxicroak, Scraggy/Scrafty, a Rhyhorn/Rhydon, and Honedge/Doublade/Aegislash

Ulrich does catch other Pokemon that aren't fighting types at all like a Misdreavus, Spoink, and Houndour. But he tends to keep them in the PC box/safe with Professor Birch at his lab and only call on them when he needs them. Old habits with using only fighting types die really hard. Honedge is also a nod towards the sword and Ulrich's Lyoko weapon in the series.

Odd, on the other hand, unlike Ulrich and Jeremy, doesn't have any type preference whatsoever. He has more of an appearance aesthetic but even then he doesn't hold strictly to it. Odd came from a family of Pokemon lovers, and comes from Kalos. His family run a Pokemon Daycare and as such, Odd has a lot of hands on experience working with all types of Pokemon. His starter Pokemon was Fennekin, whom he loves to pet and is not too particular about keeping in their Pokeball at all times. Odd just wants to travel the globe with his Pokemon for the fun. He's not on any particular mission like Ulrich or Jeremy to accomplish a grander goal. He's just there for the ride and to make memories.

The first person Odd meets in the group is Ulrich. Odd had been rushing to the Pokemon Center with his Pokemon because of a really difficult battle he'd been in for fun. Who knew a Bonsley could pack such a punch right? At the time, Odd only had two Pokemon with him, and his Teddiursa had fainted in the previous battle. Fennekin wasn't exactly in tip top shape either but he ran into two biker goons who were trying to get him into a double battle he had no chance in winning in order to get into the Pokemon center. It was pure luck on his part that Ulrich showed up when he did, sending out his Torchic and Heracross to protect him. Ever since then, when they walked side by side into the Pokemon center, Odd had seen Ulrich as a friend for life and stuck by him ever since. And Odd is always repaying the favor, battling alongside Ulrich whenever needed in double or even triple battles. Odd was also the one who roped the both of them into Aelita and Jeremy's lives.

Odd's complete Pokemon team includes his Fennekin/Braixen/Delphox, Teddiursa/Ursaring, Magikarp/Gyarados, Eevee/Glaceon, Gligar/Gliscor, and Purrloin/Liepard

Odd has loads more Pokemon than this, such as a Meowth/Persian, Slakoth, Mime Jr., Taillow/Swellow, and a Pansage. He is also the only one to nickname all of his Pokemon. Fennekin is nicknamed Kiwi (because what else would his starter Pokemon be called even if they aren't a dog based Pokemon), Teddiursa is Lychee, Magikarp is Mango, Eevee is Avens, Gligar is Durian, and Purrloin is Aster. Most of these names are based on fruit and all of them are technically based on plants. Meowth is named Maple, Slakoth is Galen, Mime Jr. is Murphy, Taillow is Lula-Belle, and Pansage is Clover.

Delphox's ability to stare into the fire and see the fire is a nod towards Odd's old Future Vision ability and Glaceon's ability to freeze its fur and shoot it out like needles is a nod towards Odd's laser arrows. Odd, as a lover of animals, is destined to always have the most Pokemon. The Pokemon he does not carry with him are transfer to his home, where they are well loved by his family.

Yumi is the only one of the group who doesn't come from a family with a history with Pokemon. She grew up in Kanto, in Saffron City, and her family was not particularly attached to Pokemon. They didn't hate Pokemon, but they didn't really see the value of traveling with Pokemon and training with them. It was never really a desire of theirs. Yumi's starter Pokemon was an Abra, who she had found abandoned in the city. The Abra's previous owner had abandoned him because the only move the Pokemon knew was Teleport and was, in their view, impossible to train. Yumi had found the injured and scared Pokemon being harassed by a group of older kids who had Pokemon of their own. Despite being late for her martial arts lessons, Yumi had started to fight the older trainers with nothing but her fists and her martial arts skills. The trainers had laughed at her and beat her up, even having their Pokemon tackle her to try and scare her off. It hadn't worked and she fended off the three until they were fed up dealing with her. Yumi took the Abra with her to practice, hiding it in her bag and in the changing room because she was scared they'd come back. She also secret took the Abra home and hid it in her room. Of course, her parents found out that Yumi had brought a Pokemon home without their permission and they were mad. They were proud what she did, they raised her to protect anyone being treated poorly, but still angry. But they agreed that as long as Yumi took responsibility for the Abra, the Abra could stay.

Yumi's bond with her Abra was the reason she wanted to travel the world and become a Pokemon trainer. To be very honest, she's caught between wanting to compete as a Pokemon Champion or becoming a Pokemon Contest Coordinator. She finds a lot of joy in both, in the battling and in presenting the best sides of her Pokemon. She wants the world to see how beautiful they are even if her Pokemon don't follow that "cute and cuddly" mold people expect to see in Pokemon contests.

Yumi doesn't seem to specialize in any particular Pokemon type like her friends do, but she does favor psychic types a lot more than others. Her complete Pokemon team includes her Abra/Kadabra/Alakazam, Ghastly/Haunter/Gengar, Mankey/Primeape, Ralts/Kirlia/Gardevoir, Wobbuffet, and Shinx/Luxio/Luxray.

Because Alakazam's are able to use telekinesis, Yumi having one is a nod towards her telekinesis ability in Lyoko. And her Mankey is a nod to her own fighting prowess.

Aelita is also from Kalos, just like Odd, and specializes in Fairy Type Pokemon. Aelita's complete Pokemon team includes her starter, Dedenne, Snubbull/Granbull, Chikorita/Bayleaf/Meganium, Eevee/Silveon, Dratini/Dragonair/Dragonite, and Mantyke. She has Fairy types mainly because her Lyoko form is designed as an elf and can be considered part of a fairy tale aesthetic.

Aelita's parents were also Pokemon researchers, like Jeremy's, but her father got involved with the wrong type of people to put it very mildly. Aelita has connections to the newest evil organization, known as X.A.N.A., that was trying to take over the world and stealing everyone's Pokemon. And for some reason, they are out to get her specifically. She has no memories of the past, so she doesn't know anything about her connection to them, or that her family is working alongside them. Jeremy finds her being attacked by one of the goons in the middle of a really bad rainstorms and comes to her rescue. Because the storm was getting really bad, he had no choice but to bring her to the nearest Pokemon center. He stayed with her throughout the entire night, taking care of her Pokemon as well. During the storm, the power went out, and some of the goons returned to try and kidnap Aelita. Jeremy fended them off as best he could with his Beldum, and luckily it was at that moment that Ulrich and Odd came running out to see what all the commotion was. The commotion had awoken Aelita, who was utterly astounded by their bravery and kindness.

They hadn't been out of the woods yet though. Aelita explains to the boys that she had been with another trainer, who had helped her take care of her Dedenne back in the woods. She explained that they came into the town together, and that the other girl had promised to help her get to the police station to check if maybe someone had reported her missing. They'd been attacked by those goons and Yumi had told Aelita to run when it was becoming overwhelming, insisting on holding them off with her Abra and Ghastly. Aelita had run but one of the goons, the goon Jeremy rescued her from, had broken away and caught up to her. Aelita, worried about what had happened to Yumi, insists on going to search for her. The boys agree to help her and make a plan to let Aelita get captured so they can follow the goons in the hopes that the goons had apprehended Yumi and were only holding her hostage. Aelita had never been more relieved in her life to see that Yumi was okay, just bruised up a bit. And once all five of them are together, X.A.N.A.'s goons don't stand a chance against them. Like seriously, it's crazy how five kids who just met each other are able to take down a bunch of evil adults and their Pokemon. And seeing how much danger Aelita is in, none of them are really willing to leave her to her own devices and are genuinely curious about what X.A.N.A. is up to. Why do they need Aelita? What are they plotting?

And then there's William. William is from Sinnoh, and he's considered a dark type Pokemon specialist. His starter Pokemon was a Corphish, but when the group meet him, he has a Crawdaunt. Just like in the series, William has a thing for Yumi which irks Ulrich despite the fact that she doesn't reciprocate William's feelings. His persistence actually makes her a bit uncomfortable, which only gives her Pokemon more of a reason to not trust or like William. William ends up working willingly for X.A.N.A. (as opposed to being forced in the cartoon), and was trying to gain the groups trust so that he would be able to travel with them and secretly relay to X.A.N.A. where Aelita was at all times. He genuinely wants Yumi to join X.A.N.A. alongside him, because otherwise he has to destroy her and he doesn't want to do that. He'll happily destroy the others though.

His complete Pokemon team includes his Crawdaunt, Tentacool/Tentacruel, Spinarak/Ariados, Absol, Pawniard/Bisharp, and Tyrantrum. The Tentacool/Tentacruel is a nod towards the scyphozoa that XANA used in the series to gain control of William in the first place. The Spinarak/Ariados is another nod to the series and how he was afraid of spiders but, under XANA's influence would ride the Tarantula into battle. And the Pawniard/Bisharp is a nod to his sword in a similar way Honedge is to Ulrich.

#Code Lyoko #headcanons #Pokemon #aus

[themadamelibrarian]

Written By: @themadamelibrarian & @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell​ Chapters: 10/10 Fandom: Supernatural Rating: Explicit Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Lucifer/Sam Winchester Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Gabriel (Supernatural), Lucifer (Supernatural), Sam Winchester Additional Tags: Fluff, Smut, Porn, Angelcest, Daddy!Kink, Spanking, Of the fun variety, Light Bondage, Orgasm Denial, Anal Sex, Double Anal Penetration, Age Regression/De-Aging, Non Sexual Age Regression, cursing, wing!kink, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Insecure!Lucifer, Nesting, Regressed!Lucifer, Disapproving!Dean, Do you want to build a demon?, Bottom!Gabriel, Top!Sam, Switch!Lucifer, Cuddling Series: Part 2 of Loving Heart Summary: It's fairly soon after Lucifer realizes that he's safe and that he's not going to be punished by Dean, Castiel, Sam and Gabriel for his past sins. He finds most comfort in Gabriel and Sam, but he still has difficulties expressing his love for them.

Author Note:  This Aesthetic was made by the lovely @wearywinchester. It’s perfect and I love it. Thank you, Weary, from the bottom of my heart.

Share this story and show support for the creator!

Tagging: @thenanahunter @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell, @idabbleincrazy  @copperseraphim

Chapter 1

It’d been nearly a year since Lucifer had accepted the fact that the other inhabitants of the bunker, namely Castiel, Gabriel and then the Winchesters, weren’t going to punish him for past sins. Since then, the angels had built their nest in Lucifer’s room and now more often than not the five of them would end up there, curled around each other like a pile of newborn kittens. Other than that the day to day lives of the hunters hadn’t changed all that much. They still went out to kill the monsters threatening innocent lives while Lucifer and Gabriel hung back and did their own thing. They’d found early on that for the average hunt having two archangels, a seraph and two seasoned hunters was over kill.

On this particular night, the two eldest angels found themselves just enjoying the quiet of their home while the others took care of a werewolf four states away. Gabriel also used this as an opportunity to continue his mission to make sure Lucifer stayed current on the latest movies. So that’s how the previous Lord and Master of Hell found himself curled up in the nest while Gabriel loaded Frozen into their disk player.

“You’ll love it, Luci’. You can’t go wrong with Disney.” Gabriel chirped happily as he bounded back to the nest and burrowed into the blankets piled in the center.

Lucifer laughed and snuggled deeper under the covers. “If you say so, Gabriel,” he said.

“I don’t say so, I know so. Now shush...it’s starting.” Gabriel said as he leaned against Lucifer.

Twenty minutes into the movie and Gabriel raised his eyebrow at the screen. “I may have been wrong about this movie. Is it just me or is the relationship Kristoff has with that reindeer disturbingly close?”

“Thanks for putting mental images in my head that I don’t want,” Lucifer said with a shudder. “Say, Gabe. . . “ He grinned at his younger brother. “Do you wanna build a demon?” he sang to the tune of “Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?”

Gabriel scoffed as he playfully shoved Lucifer. “No, I don’t. You tried that once and look how Lilith turned out. All creepy white eyes and vapid.”

“Yes, Lilith had some flaws. But she was my first. Now Cain. . .” Lucifer chuckled. “He was a masterpiece. One of the best. As well as Alastair.”

Gabriel nodded as he thought about it. “I’ll give you kudos for Cain for the sacrifice factor but Alastair was a sadistic narcissist.” Gabriel stopped and tilted his head in thought. “Or was that pride?”

“Definitely pride, but that pride was well deserved,” Lucifer purred softly. “Alastair was an artist with a bloody canvas. His nickname was Picasso with a Razor, after all.”

Rolling his eyes, Gabriel turned his head from where it rested on Lucifer’s stomach. “You realize that Picasso was nearsighted and couldn’t line up eyes properly, right?”

“Where do you think the Picasso lineage came from, brother mine?” Lucifer asked with an arched brow.

“Great, another artist inspired by demon kind. As if we needed more of them after the dark and middle ages.” He said, rolling back over to watch the movie. “But to answer your original question, No I don’t want to build a demon. I built a platypus already. My life goals are complete"

Lucifer laughed. “So are mine.” He paused. “Never mind. Sam’s still on the list.”

Gabriel sat up suddenly and glared at Lucifer like he’d just tried to steal away a favorite toy. Which in the Trickster’s mind, wouldn’t be too far from the truth. For months he’d been harboring a crush, for lack of a better description, on the youngest Winchester, but hadn’t worked up the nerve to do anything about it.  “Sam?! What the hell is Sam doing on your bucket list?”

Lucifer coughed. “Nothing, it’s nothing of importance,” he said hastily.

“I call bullshit, Morningstar.” Gabriel snorted as he crossed his arms over his chest. “What are you wanting with Sam?”

Lucifer gave his brother a plaintive look. “Nope. Not saying.” He mimed locking his lips and throwing away the key.

“Well, whatever you’re planning you can just forget about it.” Gabriel unwound himself and crawled out of the nest, clearly disturbed, but not wanting to admit to Lucifer that he has feelings for the human. He wasn’t even completely sure if Sam was even into men, but there were subtle hints that it was a possibility. So subtle that Gabriel figured that Dean didn’t even guess at his own brothers preferences.

“Oh, and why is that, Gabriel?” Lucifer asked, giving his brother a look. “Is it because you have feelings for him?”

Gabriel sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. “Maybe..I don’t know.”

Lucifer smiled warmly “You do,” he hummed.

“Yea, well. I’m too chicken to tell him. What if he doesn’t even like males? I’m too set in this vessel to go changing now.” Gabriel turned to look at his brother forlornly.

Lucifer gave his younger brother a look. “Did it ever occur to you to ask me since I’ve inhabited Sam Winchester?” he asked. “Sam’s bi, he goes for both genders.”

“Really?” Gabriel’s face brightened at the news but it didn’t last long. “So, does you having plans for him mean you want him too?”

“Can you blame me?” Lucifer asked softly, almost too soft for Gabriel to hear. “He’s helped me, a lot. Not saying the rest of you haven’t, but it’s. . . it’s different with Sam, you know?” He shrugged. “Just. . . the way I’ve always felt. But like he’s ever going to consider me as a dating partner. I mean, yeah, I know he’s forgiven me and all, but I still am not exactly the kind of man you want to bring home to big brother.”

“No one wants to be brought home to Dean.” Gabriel said with a shrug. “Except maybe Cas.” Sighing he crawled back into the nest and curled against Lucifer’s side. “What a pair we are. Both of us the first born of the Host and scared of what a human thinks. A really great human.”

Lucifer nodded, tucking himself around his brother. “One of Father’s best.” he agreed, nosing Gabriel’s hair. An idea struck him. “Gabe. What if weboth approach Sam?” he asked. “Like. . . Together. Offer us as a package deal?”

“I don’t know, Luci’. Us as a package deal for Sam might freak him out.” Gabriel toyed with the collar of Lucifer’s shirt. “It’s toeing a few human taboos.”

“Like Sam hasn’t broken a few human taboos and a couple of the supernatural ones as well,” Lucifer pointed out. “I mean, the stuff he did with Ruby. . . “ he whistled. “And the couple other things. . . well, Sam’s not as clean cut and neat like Dean is in the bedroom.”

“We really need to get you and Castiel to stop gossiping about Dean.” Gabriel said with a chuckle.

Lucifer chuckled and shrugged. “But it’d work, don’t you think?”

“It might. How do we go about it? Wine him and dine him?” Gabriel asked as he pulled back to look up at Lucifer.

Lucifer hummed as he thought. “Bluntness is usually the best course of action with Sam,” he said. “No tricks. Just lay out what we want on the table, and let him know it’s up for negotiation. Both in and out of the bedroom, although we should start with out of the bedroom first.”

“That sounds reasonable. But I would suggest we do it when Dean is out of the bunker.” Gabriel laid back and stared at the ceiling above as he thought of the logistics of asking someone to participate in such a relationship. “The last thing we want is for him to go Papa Bear on our asses.”

Lucifer shuddered. “Agreed. Say, think we should send the lovebirds on vacation?” he said, looking over at Gabriel. “Motel out in Cali, along the beach, honeymoon suite, the whole kit and kaboodle?”

“I know Cas would enjoy it.” He turned and smiled at Lucifer. “Not sure Dean would but he’s a sucker for making Cas happy.”

Lucifer nodded and smiled back. “So, we should come up with our own things that we want from Sam so we know exactly what we’re presenting him with.” He said. “Or each other,” he added underneath his breath.

“I’m a simple being. I just want him. To be with him and make him smile.” Gabriel turned on his side and wound his fingers with Lucifer’s. “But you. Our history runs so far back it’s hard to quantify us.”

Lucifer smiled and squeezed his interlinked hand. “It does, doesn’t it?” he agreed. “Lots of history. Good and bad.”

“The big question is are we ready to take this kind of step with each other?” Gabriel looked a bit worried. “It’s been a very long time since either of us have been with our own kind.”

Lucifer cupped the side of his face with his free hand.  “I think we are,” he admitted.

Gabriel leaned towards Lucifer and kissed him softly to test the waters, so to speak. His lips moved tentatively as a thrill ran through him at kissing someone who mattered to him and wasn’t dismissible when it was over. Someone he cared about and cared for him in return.

Lucifer moved his hand to the back of his brother’s head and returned the kiss with a soft sigh, feeling like a spark of electricity went through him at the idea of being someone who actually liked him for him, who didn’t care about what he had done in the past.

Letting out a needy sounding whimper, Gabriel grasped Lucifer’s waist with his free hand, leaning further into the kiss. The tip of his tongue flicking across the older angel’s plump bottom lip. “Luci’.” He whispered as the desire for more was quickly growing inside him.

“Gabe,” Lucifer whispered back, running his hand down Gabriel’s back with a light touch, still holding on tightly to Gabriel’s other hand. “Want you. Need you.” He’s felt these desires before, but never had they arisen so quickly. It scared and excited the older angel and he dove back into the younger’s mouth, desperate and needy for more.

Gabriel rolled so that he was draped on top of Lucifer, his thigh falling in between his brother’s. Licking his way into Lucifer’s mouth, his hands rucked up his shirt in search of the warm flesh underneath. Finding what he craved, Gabriel carefully scraped his nails along Lucifer’s abdomen, drawing out tantalizing sounds from the other angel.

Lucifer moaned quietly, so soft it could barely be heard as he used his own hands to push up Gabriel’s shirt, running his hands gently up and down the expanse of Gabriel’s back, trapping his brother’s leg with his own.

Pulling back from the kiss with a gasp for air, he looked down at Lucifer as he rolled his hips. The slide of his hardening cock against the blade of Lucifer’s hip dragged a low, filthy moan from his throat.

Lucifer moaned low as he arched his back and tilted his head, exposing the long column of his pale throat. He rolled his hips in reply, his own hardening cock gliding smoothly against Gabriel’s thigh.

“Heylel.” The smaller archangel whispered as he kissed down Lucifer’s throat to nip at his exposed collarbone. Shifting his thigh to grind against Lucifer. “Please tell me you’re a top.”

Lucifer groaned and ground back against Gabriel. “I’m whatever you want me to be, Gabe,” he whispered, leaning up to nip at Gabriel’s jaw. “Can be either or.”

Gabriel sighed happily as he reached down between them to palm at Lucifer’s erection. “Then I want you inside me.”

Lucifer groaned and rocked his hips up and into Gabriel’s hand. “Then I suggest you hop on, the,” he whispered.

Sitting up, Gabriel peeled off his shirt and tossed it into the jumble of blankets in the nest. “This’ll add a new and interesting layer of smells to the nest.” He smiled as he ran a hand down Lucifer’s chest. “And that’s what you have too many of. Layers.”

Lucifer laughed and pulled his shirt off and tossed it onto the floor. “Better?” he teased.

“Much.” Gabriel pushed his sleep pants off his legs and moved to straddle Lucifer’s hips as he snaps his fingers, willing a bottle of lube into his hand. “Care to help me get ready for you?”

“Of course,” Lucifer hummed, sitting up slightly and taking the lube out of Gabriel’s hand. He opened it and poured a generous amount onto his fingers, warming it up a bit before reaching around and beginning to run his finger lightly over his brother’s hole. “One day,” he breathed into Gabriel’s ear. “I wanna open you up with my tongue, taste you.”

“Oh fuck, Heylel.” He moaned as he pushed his hips back in an attempt to get Lucifer’s fingers into him. “Want that too. Want your tongue in me while I suck you.”

Lucifer groaned and slowly pushed the first finger in. “Fuck, Gabriel,” he whispered. “Yes, I’d love that. Having two things filling you up, getting you nice and wet for me. And let me tell you, you’ll be so thankful for my tongue by the time I deem you’re ready for my cock. It’ll open you up so nicely as I slide right in, attacking these lips.” He brought his free hand and ran his thumb along Gabriel’s lower lip. “Bet these get nice and shiny and wet when you suck me off, with the prettiest red color.”

“Let’s find out.” Gabriel bit at the pad of his brother’s thumb before backing away without breaking eye contact. “Gonna suck you right now while you fuck me open with those lovely, long fingers of yours.” He swung his legs around so that he was kneeling beside Lucifer, presenting his ass in the air. Reaching into Lucifer’s pants, Gabriel pulled out his hard cock and gave it a few strokes before wrapping his lips around the tip, sucking lightly as if he were kissing it.

Lucifer groaned and pressed his finger deeper into Gabriel’s plush rear. “Fuck, Gabe, your mouth,” he praised. His second finger absently rubbed the outside of Gabriel’s rim, his free hand coming up to grab his brother’s ass.

“Knew my lollipop habit would pay off.” Gabriel groaned at the feel of Lucifer’s finger stroking inside him. Opening his mouth a little wider, he took Lucifer in as far as he could go, his hand stroking along the part of the shaft he couldn’t fit. Hollowing his cheeks, Gabriel drew up to the tip and swirled his tongue over the slit.

Lucifer moaned and rocked his hips gently, his head resting back on his shoulders as he slowly inserted the second finger into Gabriel. “Fuck, you’re good, yes, keep doing that,” he groaned.

With sharp intake of breath, he twisted his hips, driving Lucifer’s fingers deeper into him as his muscles clench around them. “I won’t stop if you don’t.” Swallowing Lucifer’s cock once more, he started moving quickly up and down the hard length of him, all the while moaning and whimpering around him. Gabriel’s own cock hanging heavy between his legs, leaving a clear trail of precome on Lucifer’s chest.

Lucifer began to scissor Gabriel open, swearing elegantly as he did so. His hips rocked in time to Gabriel’s bobbing, his other hand still grabbing and squeezing Gabriel’s rear.

“Oh..oh..right there, Heylel..” Gabriel plead as he pulled off of Lucifer’s cock to take his own in hand, lazily stroking as pleasurable pressure courses through him, building up into what he expects will be a phenomenal orgasm.  “Could come from your fingers alone.”

“Oh, I’m sure you can,” Lucifer chuckled, giving Gabriel a light spank as he inserted the third finger. “And maybe one day, we’ll explore that, hmmm? But I want to see you ride me, wanna feel you clenching around my cock as you lose control.”

“Please…” Gabriel moaned as he released the grip on his cock “Give it to me..need to feel your cock in me..I’m so damned ready.”

Lucifer withdrew his fingers and landed another smack on his ass. “Hurry up, then,” he growled softly.

“Anyone ever tell you that you’re bossy?” Gabriel grinned as he turned around to face him. Unfurling his wings with a flap that sounded like sun dried sheets snapping in the wind. Grabbing the base of Lucifer’s cock, he guided the head to his slicked hole and slowly lowered himself down. His mouth falling open in a silent moan, he kept going until he got his brother buried deep inside with their hips flush together.

Lucifer groaned and arched his back, bringing out his own wings as Gabriel made sure he was buried deep inside of him. His long fingers gripped Gabriel’s hips tightly, hard enough to bruise the skin beneath of them, looking up at his brother. “Fuck, Gabe, you’re gorgeous,” he said softly.

Leaning down, Gabriel kissed him softly as he rolled his hips, moving in slow circles to enjoy the pleasurable burn of being stretched open on his brother’s cock. “Not as beautiful as you, my Morningstar.” He panted out.

Lucifer kissed him back just as softly, rubbing small circles on Gabriel’s hips with his thumbs. “If you say so.” he groaned out. He rolled his hips underneath of him as a counter to his brother’s. “Fuck, you feel so good,” he added, kissing him again. “My Messenger.”

Groaning into the kiss, Gabriel lifted himself up to the tip of Lucifer’s cock before slamming his hips down again. The motion dragging a choked sob from Gabriel’s throat. With quick, sharp movements his hand clawed at Lucifer’s side. His cries filling the room as he sought to get as close to his brother as possible. “More, Heylel. Need more.”

Lucifer roughly kissed Gabriel as he began to snap his hips furiously against Gabriel’s. His nails digging into his hips, leaving half moon indentations into the tender skin. “This enough or do you need even more?” he rasped against Gabriel's lips.

Reaching around Lucifer’s shoulders, Gabriel dug his fingers into the downy lining of his wings as his moans turn into guttural gasps as the edge of his orgasm rushed on. “Per..perfect.”

Lucifer gasped and grabbed tightly onto the soft gold primary feathers of his brother’s wings, bucking his hips up vigorously into his brother. “Come on, Gabe, cum for me,” he groaned. “Cum for me.”

Opening his golden eyes to look into Lucifer’s, his jaw dropping open in a silent scream, his back arching up as his cock jerked between them. Come spurting in thick ropes, leaving behind a coating on Lucifer’s stomach.

Lucifer managed to thrust into Gabriel a few more times before slamming Gabriel’s hips down onto his own as he came deep inside of him.

Wings quivering above them, Gabriel clenched around Lucifer as he rode him through both of their peaks. When most of the shudders and spasms had passed, Gabriel slumped against his brother’s shoulder with a contented sigh, his grace singing within him in a way that he’d not experienced in millennia, perhaps even eons. “I’ve missed feeling someone real.”

Lucifer panted and held his brother close, running gentle hands up and down his back. He nodded in agreement. “I’ve missed feeling someone in general.” he admitted.

Tilting his face, he placed a soft kiss just below Lucifer’s ear. “You have me now.” He whispered. “Barring everything else, you’ll have me, Heylel.”

Lucifer shivered and buried his nose into his brother’s hair. “Thank Father for that,” he whispered back.

With a slight wince, Gabriel shifted, letting Lucifer slip out of him so that he could curl up against his side. His finger trailing through the mess he left behind while he thought. “Do you really think this will work? I mean with you, me and Sam?”

“I think it will,” Lucifer said. “We’ll need to work as a team, but we’ve done that before. Just have faith, brother.”

“Faith. I almost forget what that’s like.” Gabriel said softly as he wrapped his wing around them. “But I can try.”

#Madamelibrarian writing with friends #My Writing #Supernatural #Fanfiction #spn fanfic #Gabriel/Sam/Lucifer #sam winchester #gabriel #lucifer

[kumkaniudaku]

Meet the Parents: Two

A/N: This is the second part to @afraiddreamingandloving ‘s request from ages ago. It’s 2 AM so, please, excuse the errors if you find any. Enjoy. 

Word Count: Hella long. I stopped looking after 5k

Warnings: None. All fluff

Miss Howard University Interest Meeting: Tuesday @ 7:00 PM

You didn’t even get to the end of the decorated flyer in the student union before you snatched it off the bulletin board and jammed it into your binder.

Miss Howard was a coveted title. The perks of campus royalty were abundant but, those only factored into part of your motives. After sitting in on several SGA meetings and listening to your teammates discuss their issues with the administration, you began to realize that you were missing a lot in regards to the current state of your beloved institution. You wanted to help the campus community and, in your mind, donning the bedazzled crown and stifling skirt suits was a fast track to achieving that goal. It also wouldn’t hurt to get a little attention from the man you called friend.

The rush to your apartment left your calf muscles burning and your chest heaving to pull in any available oxygen.

“Why the hell do I live on the third floor,” you huffed, fumbling with your keys.

Pushing open the door introduced you to the smell of burning food, incense from your room and sandalwood. Chadwick was somewhere around the small space, probably let in by Tanisha as she made her way to work.

“I stood over this stove all day just for you to come home late. I swear negros can be so unappreciative.”

You rolled your eyes and dropped your duffle bag to the ground, “You burning up my good pots. And stop coming in my house uninvited.”

Chadwick poked his head around the corner to look at you. His smile faded when he watched you pull off your sneakers and toss them across the living room. Slowly, your shoulders rose and fell as you composed yourself.

“You okay, CoCo? Long day?”

“Coach was insane today. I never want to see another baseline again!”

You pulled your drenched hoodie over your head, tossing it on top of the other dirty clothes in the Adidas bag before flopping down on the worn couch against the wall. Leaning your head against the back of the furniture, your brain began to torment you with memories of the most grueling practice of the season. After the weekend’s embarrassing loss, Coach was less than happy to start a week of practices.

“You couldn’t run on offense last weekend so, your asses gone run today! To the baseline!”

You winced at the replaying of her voice in your head and the couch dipping beside you. Chadwick pulled your bag in front of him, rummaging around the dark interior for the tape to wrap your ankle. As often as you reminded him that the trainer would take care of it in the morning, he swore up and down that he knew the best way to keep your injured ankle in tip-top shape.

Gingerly grabbing your leg, he pressed his fingers into your throbbing calf, rubbing and kneading the aches away. His long fingers danced across your ankle, seemingly erasing the pain in every spot he grazed. Your mouth involuntarily let out a drawn-out moan before you could stop it. A crooked smile curved the corner of Chadwick’s lip though he didn’t acknowledge the sound.

“Anything else happen today,” he asked, eyes focused on your smooth legs.

“Eh, not really. I made a C on a quiz I studied for, almost ate milk with my cereal after morning practice, took a Miss Howard interest flyer, told Jerom-”

“Woah, Woah, Woah! Go back.”

Miming a reverse in movements, you started your monologue from the top, “I made a C on my business quiz, I-”

“Don’t play, girl. You picked up a Miss Howard interest flyer.”

“Yeah. Something wrong with that?” You fiddled with your thumbs to avoid eye contact with Chadwick. If you had it your way, you would’ve moved past that snippet of information in favor of talking yourself out of attending the meeting and letting the opportunity pass. Chadwick’s smirk slowly morphed into a toothy grin. “You, Tasha ‘Fuck the System’ Green, want to be Miss Howard. The most prissy position on campus? You serious?”

“I want to help!”

“Was SGA not accepting new members?”

“You know what, forget it. I won’t go.”

“Oh, come on,” he whined, trying to pry your arms out of their folded position against your chest. When you didn’t budge, he moved to pull you into his chest. “I’m sorry, Co. I didn’t mean it like that. It just surprised me.”

“You don’t think I can do, do you?”

“Look at me,” his fingers brushed across your face to turn your head toward him. “I think you can do anything you put your mind to. Is this something you really wanna do?”

“Yes. I wanna show the campus that you don’t have to be the stereotypical beauty to be a campus queen,” you exclaimed, standing on your feet to hobble to the center of the room. “Queens are supposed to be agents of change. I can do that! I know I can. This is the way I wanna affect my campus community. The tall girls with scraped knees and strong shoulders need love too!”

“You do have some strong ass shoulders.”

“See. That’s why I don’t invite your black ass over here.” Your agility and quickness aided you in surprising Chadwick with a shoe to the chest, temporarily injecting a pained grunt into his solo laugh session.

“Got damn, girl. Big ass shoe,” he grumbled. “If this is what you want, I support you 100 percent. I’ll get you on the phone with my sisters, talk to the last queen to give you some pointers...whatever you want me to do.”

“Really?” Your eyes lit up in excitement, contrasting his eye roll in faux annoyance.

“Yes. You the Queen, right?”

“Right?”

Jumping to his feet, he rushed over to grip your shoulders. “Don’t half-ass it! You the Queen, right?” He eyed you expectantly, waiting for you to catch on.

“Hell yeah, I’m the Queen!”

“You damn right, you the Queen. Act like it and let’s go get you this crown.”

The end of Chadwick’s pep talk started six weeks of ‘Boseman Bootcamp.’ Every evening after class and practice, your otherwise chill best friend would force you to spend another two hours on your feet preparing for the pageant. With books on your head, he would watch you wobble around your apartment in heels, trying to keep your head high and back straight.

Conversations with his older sister gave you an idea of how to prepare your opening speech, complete with practice rounds to ensure that you slowed your words to remain clear and concise for judges. Additional sessions with his friend and former Queen, Layla, gave you an inside scoop on how to impress during the solo interviews and group sessions before you even hit the stage.

Chadwick cleared his schedule as much as he could to work on the dance sequence and talent portion, being sure to give his honest opinion every step of the way. The only thing he hadn’t done was pick your outfits for the night, contending that he wanted to be surprised with everyone else.

With all of the prep focused whipping you into perfect pageant form, you forgot to warn him about the possibility of guests. Honestly, you intentionally chose to keep both sides in the dark. From the first mention of the pageant to your mother in passing, plans were crafted to have your family jump on the first flight from Atlanta to D.C. to witness your crowning moment. While your sister was aware of Chadwick’s place in your life and your feelings, you purposely omitted those when it came to your parents. In their minds, no one would hold a candle to your high school boyfriend and Marine standout, Tariq, so there was no need to fill them in on the second man in your life. Especially since the relationship had yet to progress beyond an innocent peck on the forehead and a few kind words. Chadwick wasn’t your boyfriend and, therefore, there was no need for introductions.

Despite never pressing the issue, Chadwick regularly wondered why you never made an effort to introduce him to the rest of the Green clan. Since the night they met you, his family regularly asked about your wellbeing and made you a regular fixture in family moments. If he was on his way home for a break, you were more than welcome to tag along, an invitation you accepted on more than one occasion. They regarded you as a piece of the family, and it hurt him to think about the possibility that you were ashamed of him.

When your family rolled into town early Thursday morning, you made sure to keep the two parties separate. Your mother was the first to walk into your home, looking around for any visible signs of dirt or disarray.

“Well, Tasha, I see you’ve kept the place clean like I taught you,” she lazily ran her fingers across the coffee table’s surface to check for dust.

“Or she’s trying to hide the evidence,” Tiana, your younger sister, snickered. “Where’s lover boy?”

“TiTi,” you hissed in response but, it was too late. The secret was out.

“Loverboy? You got a boyfriend, little girl? And you didn’t even bother to tell your mama?”

“He’s not my boyfriend, ma! We’re...friends. Best friends.”

“I wish all my best friends were that fine,” Tiana laughed, snooping around the pictures on the walls leading to your bedroom.

Before you could defend yourself, loud banging and strained grunts shifted attention from your nervous sputtering to your father wrestling with Tiana’s suitcase to get in the door.

“I’ve carried sacks as heavy as a toddler up a hill. Hell, I’ve carried 200-pound men on my shoulders in the heat of battle. But I have never, ever, carried anything as big as this suitcase. Tiana, what did you bring all of this for?”

“I need options, daddy. There are college educated men all over the place. I have to stay ready!”

You and your father rolled your eyes at Tiana though you silently thanked God for the momentary distraction. Your dad, Gerald, was your best friend before you even knew what one was. He taught you everything you knew about baseball and basketball from the moment you expressed interest. He went to bat for you every time your mother made a fuss about your dirty dresses after church or how much time you spend outside trying to master a fadeaway jumper like Michael Jordan. When Tiana was old enough, you rejoiced in the fact that your mom finally had someone to go on shopping trips with and force into ballet.

Drastic differences between you and your mother put a damper on the relationship in high school but, with the help of family therapy sessions, the two of you came to understand that your differences were not rebellion. You were your own person, and Elaine had to accept that. Still, she told anyone who would listen how excited she was that her oldest girl would follow her campus queen footsteps.

“So, Pumpkin, you ready for Saturday night? Have you been practicing,” your father asked over dinner.

The soft chatter of other patrons did little to help ease the worry clouding your mind. “Yes, sir. Me and...a friend have been working for a month and a half. I feel confident going in.”

“That’s my girl. You’re a winner! Just like your old man!”

Your mother eyed you over the table, not ready to bypass the second mention of your “friend.”

“Is this friend going to be at the pageant? Why didn’t you invite him to dinner?”

Your father nearly choked on his sweet tea, prompting your mother to pat him on the back through his coughing spell. “Him? Pumpkin, do you have a boyfriend.”

If you could’ve, you would have melted into a puddle of embarrassment and slid out of the door to the nearest storm drain. Instead, you were forced to face the three sets of eyes awaiting your explanation. Realizing that you would no longer be able to keep your business private, you opened your mouth to provide details.

“No, daddy, he’s not my boyfriend. He’s my friend who happens to be a boy. He’s dating someone else right now,” you half lied. He wasn’t dating Michelle; he was fucking her and maybe saying hello when he would see her on campus. That didn’t stop her from swearing that they were more.

“And what is this boy’s name?”

“Chad. Well, Chadwick bu-”

“Chadwick? What the hell kind of name is Chadwick?”

“A rich man’s name,” Tiana mumbled while sipping her drink and looking around the restaurant. She didn’t notice that the attention had shifted to her lusty outburst until she turned her head back to the conversation. “What? With all that directing he’s doin’, he better be rich one day.”

“Ti, don’t do this.”

“And you better marry him!”

“Tiana!” She playfully stuck out her fruit punch coated tongue as you rolled your eyes, making a mental note to wait until she was at least 21 before you shared any more information with her.

“Marry,” your mother scoffed. “Oh, I need to meet this boy! Marrying an artist? What has gotten into you? What about Tariq?”

“Elaine, Tariq isn’t the best catch,” your father defended.

“Says who? He’s handsome, his career is stable, and she’s known him since they were kids. He’s clearly her type.”

“Tariq is also gay,” you interrupted, fed up with the discussion. “Even if I was interested in him, the feelings aren’t mutual.”

Holding on to that secret was tough enough without having to blurt it across the sticky table of a chain restaurant. Your mother had no idea what you type was because she spent much of your life setting you up with her type. You loved men with confidence and a free spirit. Elaine enjoyed the bravado of military personnel and the security that came with being a Marine wife. Trying to please her in high school led to several unnecessary heart breaks. As soon as you were accepted to an institution miles away from her overbearing gaze, you vowed to date who you wanted. With the exception of Chadwick, it was working.

Elaine’s jaw slacked with confusion before she could recover. “Well then, I...I guess you have it all figured out. I’ll back off.”

“Ma, I did-”

“No, no,” she started, smoothing out her khaki skirt and looking to you with a smile. “You’re an adult now. You know much more about yourself than I could ever. I know you’re capable of making good decisions.”  

Silence hit the table for a brief moment as you smiled back at your mother. Though small, the breakthrough was more than you had been able to pull out of her in years. Clearing her throat, Tiana injected her contagious energy into the mix.

“So, is he really gay? I knew it!”

                                      ___________

Thursday transitioned into Friday before you could get a grip on what was happening. With your parents in a separate hotel, you felt comfortable enough to bring Chadwick back to your apartment for last-minute pageant prep. Though you hated to admit it, he was becoming your sense of calm in the whole ordeal.

His large knuckles obnoxiously tapped at your door, making you groan, and Tiana’s eyes light up. If you didn’t know her, you would assume that she was about to go on a first date. Her Karl Kani mid-drift and high waist denim showed the most skin she’d ever been able to show in her entire life. When you told her to get dressed for company, you didn’t intend for her to go in your closet to mimic your personal style. Swinging open the door, you watched Chadwick continue to drum against the door with a smile.

“CoCo Green finally decided to call a brotha.”

“Oh, hush. I don’t see you for one day, and you act like I abandoned you!”

Laughing, he pecked your forehead to Tiana’s surprise. Heat rushed to your cheeks, burning your face almost as much as the grin you’d been holding.

“You must be Chadwick,” Tiana boldly assumed, changing her voice to mimic Toni Braxton’s.

Chadwick turned to you with a smile, realizing who she was by the resemblance. “Yeah, that’s me. Tiana, right? I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Oh, have you?” She cooed, batting her eyelashes.

“Tasha talks about you all the time. How’s Mathletes?”

Tiana’s ‘grown-up’ facade quickly dropped at the mention of her high school activities. Rolling her eyes, she slid from the arm of the couch onto the cushions, grumbling incoherent phrases.

Chadwick shared a look with you before following you into the kitchen to keep the conversation private, “How you feeling, Champ. You ready to take your crown?”

“I don’t know, Aaron. I saw LeAndra at dress rehearsals last night, and she’s good. Like, really good. I can’t compete with that.”

His face screwed up, “She can’t even read. Trust me, I know. I had to listen to her audition last semester.” Memories of sitting in on the “closed” auditions with Chadwick temporarily pushed away your negative thoughts. “What can we do to make you feel ready?”

“She needs a hug,” Tiana yelled from the living room. “From you!”

“Do you,” he asked, eyebrows quirking in mischief. “Come here! Let me give you some love.”

Try as you might, you couldn’t escape the long arms of your childish friend. Chadwick easily pulled you into his body, tickling your sides and drawing a cackle from you in response. His arms tightened around you, turning the innocent moment into a hormone-charged embrace. Your eyes locked for a flash before both of you backed up to opposite sides of the kitchen.

“Yeah so, uh, can we go over my talent one more time?”

“We can but, I think you got it. You’re gonna be amazing, girl. And, even if you’re not, I’m gonna tell you that you are.”

“You plan on lying to me?”

“I never lie to you.” Eye contact created another stalemate as you searched his eyes for any indication of a lie. You found none as usual. Throwing your hands up in surrender, you turned to rummage through the fridge to retrieve a Gatorade for both of you. Chadwick shifted his weight in preparation for his next question. “I see your sister is here. Does that mean that I get to meet your parents this weekend?” In surprise, your head slammed against the top of the refrigerator making Chadwick laugh. “I get it if you don’t want to, Co. I’m just saying...I had no problem introducing you to mine.”

“Chad…”

“Don’t explain. Pass me that Gatorade and let’s go practice these questions.”

Before you could rush out an apology, he was out of the kitchen and interacting with Tiana on the way to your room.

The question and answer session did wonders on your anxiety, allowing you to prepare in front of the master of stage presence himself. His constant reminders to smile and exude confidence burned into your brain by the end of the hour-long rehearsal, you felt like you would excel during at least one portion of the competition.

On the way out of your room, Tiana gave you a cheeky smile behind Chadwick’s back, receiving a set of middle fingers in return. Closing the door behind you, you turned to face your friend.

“Tomorrow,” you started abruptly.

“What?”

“Come early tomorrow. You can meet them then, okay?”

A broad smile spread across his face, revealing his beautiful gap, “Okay, girl. I’ll hold you to that. Tomorrow.”

Final goodbyes followed until he was out of sight and off to finish his day. Walking back into your apartment, you found Tiana attempting to jump back onto the couch to act natural.

“Would it kill you to mind your business,” you asked sitting beside her on the sofa.

“I don’t know. Would it kill you to stop actin like you don’t want that man? Introducin’ him to Mama and Daddy? Sounds like Miss CoCo has a maaan!” Her cackle made your turn your nose up in disgust. A quick flick of the wrist sent a decorative pillow against her face, switching the roles. “Dammit, Tasha, I’m telling Daddy!”

“Good! Then I’ll tell him about this outfit stunt you pulled.” Her mouth opened to speak before closing in defeat. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Now put my shit back!”

                                           ____________

“A little blush here,” a beat, “More on this side...and here we go!” Your mother whipped out a handheld mirror to allow you to judge her makeup application.

Your eyes crinkled as your cheeks rose in a smile, happy with the job she did. While Tiana adjusted the tiny hat over your hair, you turned from side to side to get a better look. Powder foundation rested against your soft skin, a light layer of blush accentuating the apples of your cheeks. Her signature red lipstick was passed to you to add to the look and give you, what she considered feminine appeal.

Still, as you looked around the crowded dressing space at the nine other contestants, you couldn’t help but feel out of place.

Apparently, you missed the extensions memo; your usually short haircut washed and conditioned to form a tightly coiled afro . The other women looked so beautiful and petite in their cruise ship attendant outfits, contrasting the way your long legs and big feet seemed almost manly underneath the short skirt.

Sensing your moment of self-doubt, your mother grabbed the lapel of your jacket, “You know, I didn’t look like a pageant queen either.”

“Impossible. You’re so pretty.”

She smiled and unpinned the broach on her coral dress, sticking the sharp end into the inside of your jacket. “Back then, all the girls looked like you. They were so tall and lean and, there I was, short and could barely see over the microphone.” Without looking at you, she clasped the bedazzled frog pin onto your outfit. “I believe in you, Tasha. You can do it.”

“Mama, this is your lucky pin. I can’t take this.”

“You damn right, you can’t. I’m gonna need that back until you cross those burning sands,” she laughed. “But, tonight, let the power of my founders lead and guide you.”

Her smile matched your own as she pulled you into a hug, rocking your body from side to side. Lost in the moment, you didn’t hear your father walk up until he cleared his throat.

“Uh, pumpkin, this young man says he knows you. Pushed past three people at the door to get back here.”

Opening your eyes, you found Chadwick nervously standing beside your father, cowering away from his death glare. His chest and torso were barely visible behind the assortment of flowers in his hand.

“Yeah, I know him, daddy. This is the friend I was telling you about. Chad, meet my mom and dad.”

“Hi, Mrs. Green,” he nervously replied. As if the light bulb in his head turned on, he jumped to pull a sunflower from the bouquet. “This is for you. I know Tasha has a rose allergy so I, uh, I got these instead. If you don’t like it, I can take them back!”

“No need, Chad. These are lovely. Thank you.” Your mother graciously accepted the single flower, giving you an amused nod before turning to organize the rest of your outfits.

Chadwick made sure to greet Tiana again, handing her a sunflower identical to your mother’s. Your father’s intimidating stare dialed back at your request as he introduced himself, smiling at you over Chadwick’s head.

“And these are yours,” he added, placing the bouquet in your lap. “I wanted to give them to you before it got too crazy at the end. My mom, dad, and Kevin said good luck, by the way. You look...wow. They should go ahead and crown you right now.”

“Whatever. Look at all these girls. I’m so out of place right now.”

Chadwick took a look around, waving at a few of the women that waved at him, before turning back with a shrug. “Between you and me, they all look the same. You stand out, and that’s what’s important. Stop doubting yourself.”

You couldn’t tell but, your family heard every word of Chadwick’s declaration and shared school like giggles in the corner amongst each other. You smiled at his kind words, nuzzling your nose against the flower in your hand.

“Ladies, place! The show begins in ten!”

Bodies scrambled to get into place, prompting you to stand and adjust your skirt. Your support group gave you their last encouraging words on the way to the auditorium, leaving you to do the rest of the pep talking inside your head. In a flash, the big moment approached and sent waves of adrenaline pumping throughout your bloodstream.

Lakeside’s “Fantastic Voyage” fit the cruise ship theme for the opening number to a tee though, you reminded the director on several occasions that the blue costumes resembled flight attendant uniforms. Regardless, your feet and body worked as one to effortlessly carry from point to point, feeling like second nature as the song progressed.

By the end, you were perfectly positioned in the center of the group, smiling down at the judges and audience in a textbook pageant pose. You kept your introduction short and concise like you had been instructed, remaining upbeat and cheery through the opening speech. The bright lights may have skewed your vision but, nothing could stop you from reacting to the loud hoops and hollers of your teammates, family, and Chadwick.

The praises from the audience intensified during the swimsuit portion, further adding to your overall confidence. You waltzed across the stage in a bright red, two-piece and matching wrap skirt, highlighting the athlete’s body that many didn’t know existed. Chadwick attempted to avert his eyes because of his proximity to your father but, he couldn’t seem to look away. He knew that you were beautifully proportioned from the times he’d seen you dressed to party and, still, he wasn’t prepared to see your legs holding a perfect behind and the abs of steel that rested above them.

“Talents” graced the stage following swimwear, becoming a cacophony of botched monologues, off-key song covers, and rhythmless dancing. Your acoustic rendition of Angel of Mine, taught to you day and night by Chadwick captivated the judges and earned you raucous praise from the audience.

A brief intermission allowed you to shimmy out of your swimsuit with the help of your mom and sister and into your formalwear. The red, halter neck dress showed off your toned shoulders and stopped just above the floor. The slit in the front gave you the right amount of room to walk with no obstacles, and the train in the back added drama to the look.

After your walk and bio read by the MC, you waited in line for the question and answer portion. The questions ranged from silly to serious, seemingly alternating as they got closer to you. LeAndra went before you, picking out a slip of paper and handing it to the MC in front of her.

“Contestant Four, do you believe that you are a good role model?”

Year of experience showed through her proud stance as she rolled her shoulders back and flashed a bright smile. You had to admit; she was your stiffest competition in the whole ordeal. LeAndra was beautiful, well known and already involved in campus activities. Her desire to be a politician in her home state of Mississippi made her charming but, her extensive knowledge of pageantry made her a threat.

“What a great question,” she cooed, stretching her Southern drawl. “I do believe that I am a good role model. Howard University has afforded me the opportunity to affect my local and global community in so many ways. Whether it’s working with the Boys and Girl club during my Spring Break or spending time with the elderly, I’m always sure to give back while maintaining an honors-level GPA and participating in extracurriculars. The Bison grind has made me an excellent role model, and I intend to use those principles if I am chosen as the next Miss Howard University.”

Satisfied claps from the audience and impressed head nods followed her answer, making her beam with pride on her walk back to her spot.

Your heart thumped loudly in your ears as your turn drew closer. Dipping a shaking hand into the basket, you chose a question and prayed that it was one of the ones you spent all night going over.

“Contestant five, why do you think you are the best choice for Miss Howard University.”

Taking a deep breath, you released you worry and focused on the question. “Thank you so much for that question. I love your coat by the way,” the audience and judges laughed at your compliment. “In all honesty, my flaws make me the best candidate for Miss Howard University. I’m an unconventional choice that shows the everyday woman that beauty comes in all forms. I’m a little loud, not always graceful and I snort when I laugh. Those quirks make me relatable. Women all over campus can see themselves in me and...that’s how it should be. If I’m chosen, I plan to show other women the beauty in their flaws as well.”

“You sure are beautiful!” ripped through the atmosphere, coming from the only person in the room bold enough to scream out during a formal event. Your smile grew when you spotted your family and Chadwick giving you the thumbs up. No matter the outcome of the night, you felt fortunate to have such amazing people by your side.

Sauntering back to your spot, you felt peace in knowing that you gave it your best effort. The outcome was no longer in your hands, and you would accept whatever result came your way.

Another intermission to tally the votes gave you time to say a quick prayer behind the thick velvet curtain. When the veil was pulled back to reveal the ten contestants for the last time before a winner was crowned, the crowd stood their feet to offer a standing ovation.

“Wow, aren’t these ladies stunning?” the MC asked over the noise. “This is by far the greatest pageant I’ve had the pleasure of hosting, and I wish each of you the best of luck. Without further ado, let’s present the awards voted on by the contestants themselves.” Certificates for Most Reliable, Best Smile and Miss Congeniality were passed out quickly and without much fanfare. The real awards were the most important, and you needed to know the outcome before you exploded on stage.

“Now, for the moment all of these ladies have been waiting for, the announcement of Miss Howard University. First, we’ll announce the first runner-up who will serve as Miss Blue and White for the 1999-2000 academic year. Your new Miss Blue and White is…”

Suspense hung in the air and breath caught in your throat as the MC let the tension build.

“Everyone, stand and congratulate Miss Tasha Nicole Green.”

Your mouth hung open from shock as the reigning Miss Blue and White motioned you over to receive your crown and sash. Loud whistles from the crowd clashed in your ears but, none louder than Chadwick’s. You graciously waved to the crowd, still shocked that you were even called. You fully expected to walk out empty handed and party your disappointment away with your teammates. Instead, you stood as a member of the Royal Court.  

“And, your Miss Howard University for the 1999-2000 academic year is...Miss LeAndra F. Harvey!”

Tyrese’s ‘Sweet Lady’ played in the background for her victory lap as onlookers cheered her accomplishment. Joining them, you clapped for her success earning a sweet smile in return. It was no secret that LeAndra wasn’t the nicest person during the process but, if you were forced to serve beside her for an entire school year, it made sense to be kind sooner rather than later.

Two hours, 1,000 pictures and a set of sore feet later, the ordeal was over, and you were granted the opportunity to sit down and rest in the designated dressing area. Your teammates rushed you first to make jokes about you turning soft on them, you coaching making sure to remind you that being a queen didn’t excuse you from practicing. Other contestants congratulated you and LeAndra came over to compliment you on your performance. Finally, you were greeted by your family, Chadwick noticeably hanging behind.

“Oh, my baby is a queen,” your mother exclaimed, pulling you into the tightest hug you could stand. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you, Mama. I couldn’t have done it without you and the frog,” you smirked.

“Pumpkin can shoot the three and curtsey. Jack of All Trades just like her old man.”

“Thanks, Dad.” You accepted his kiss on the cheek with a smile, noticing Tiana’s expression. “What you got to say, TiTi?”

“I wanna know when the queen perks kick in! Can we get into parties tonight or do we have to wait a weekend? I can come back!”

“See, this is why you’ll be staying home and going to Spelman, young lady,” your mother scolded, pulling your sister away to gather all of your things.

With your family occupied, Chadwick stepped up to greet you, “You did amazing,” he rushed out.

“Thank you, Aaron. You really helped me out. This is your win, too!”

“I wouldn’t be nearly as nice in a dress,” he laughed. Pulling you up and off of your chair, he engulfed you in a hug, the strength of his arms locking you into place. “Congratulation, Co. I’m proud of you.”

You settled into the hug for a moment until you noticed the smiles from your family. Your mother, the naysayer from the beginning, gave you a thumbs up before pulling your sister and father out of the space and to the car.

“I think they like you.”

“Who,” he asked, pulling away to look around.

“My family. They like you. I can tell.”

He laughed loudly, picking up your shoes from the floor beside you and extending his hand for you to grab. “Probably not nearly as much as my family like you. You know my mama tried to come up here for this, right. She’s gonna go crazy when she sees the pictures I took.”

“Oh God, please, don’t show her the swimsuit photos.”

“I won’t,” he agreed, holding the door open for you to walk out of. “Those are for Kevin.”

                                      ____________

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#chadwick boseman #chadwick boseman imagine #chadwick boseman fan fiction #chadwick x reader #chadwick boseman x you #chad x coco #coco x chad #black panther fics #black panther fan fiction #black panther fiction #black panther fanfiction #black panther

[melloian]

Character bio 9

Christophe Guillaume aka Mime

Age: 25

Gender: M

Race: French Species:  Human (formerly), Superhuman

Alignment: Neutral 

Status: Alive

Occupation: Daroness, Supervillain (formerly later on). entertainer (later on), flower staller (later on)

Love interest: none 

Friends: Gabriel (formerly), Stomera, Mr pigeon, Ladybug (later on), Chat noir (later on), Nathalie 

Enemies: Gabriel, miraculous heroes

Personality: Curious, friendly, Empathetic, calm, emotional, Leisurely, elegant

Villain persona personality: Hardworking, forceful, Discourteous, gloomy, tough, confident, Vindictive

Bio: Its not much information about Christophe. He doesn’t talk. He pretty much lives with his mother because he can’t get employed. Most people call me The mime  because he never revealed his name until later. Its also his villain’s name.

He is pretty much a gentleman towards others. He usually tip his hat or take it off and bow. 

As a villain: he really have a bad intention. He pretty much want people to understand his pain. However, he usually pose himself as a threat and tough to beat down.

He also works at Daroness (faraway villain tower) alot.

However, if the person is trying to be nice to him or feel sorry for him, he starts to slowly stop fighting. Eventually he will no longer fight that person. Unless they betray him.

Backstory:

Childhood

Christophe was 8 when he wanted to be a mime cause he thought it was cool. He tried to attempt doing so but he usually fails. 

The change

When he turned 20, he went on a talent show (outside). When he was called next, he was happy and waved at his parents. Before he can even start, suddenly a strange energy like meteor came out of nowhere. Everyone ran. Christophe tried to run too but he couldn’t so he ended up getting hit by the meteor. However he survived the hit but he was unconscious.

Later, he was sent to the hospital. He soon wake up, injured. He saw and heard his mother crying, so he tried to speak but he couldn’t. Soon, the doctor  came in to check on him. The doctor didn’t know what was wrong with his skin or how it happened. He didn’t know what the doctor was talking about until he gave him a mirror. As soon he looked at the mirror, he was scared. The doctor stated that he lost his voice due to the meteor activity. He had to stay in the hospital for 1 week.

Strange old nurse at the hospital

On his 3rd day in the hospital, his arms were becoming enough, so he used a wheelchair to get to the cafeteria (the the help of the nurses). During in the hallway, the doctor went to the bathroom right quick. During this time, Christophe saw a old woman nurse with a cart of black roses. The black roses looked strange and have some aura & emit towards the roses. She noticed him and greeted him. She gave him a rose and told him to keep it, its special. He didn’t know what she meant by then so he just kept the rose.

Power discovery

When he was released out of the hospital, he soon went back to his mother house. He was stressed out about what happened to him. So, he started do his mime acts to make him feel better. As he was doing his acts, he tripped and hit a invisible wall. He was dazed but soon snapped out of it. He was trying to figure out if there was an actual wall there. So he attempts to feel the wall (on where he put it at) and he felt it. He was terrified and don’t understand what’s happening to him. He wanted to call for help but he couldn’t.

Becoming a Villain

1 Week later, Mime wanted to look for a job. He knows he couldn’t talk, so he writes on paper instead. He went to each job he wanted to work in, but the people rejected him. They thought he looked weird and thought he was a monster. So they screamed and throw stuff at him. Some insulted him instead. He soon became bitter and angry about what he was facing. Soon, he saw akuma butterfly. Instead of akumanzating him, it instead taunted him. He got angry and started to follow the butterfly. The butterfly soon led him to Gabriel’s lair. He didn’t know where he was. Gabriel soon appeared and welcomed him. He asked Christophe to have a seat. Gabriel started talking to him. Soon, he started to convince him to join with him and so he get his revenge on people. He agrees to the offer and shakes his hands with him. For now on, he named himself, The Mime.

Power

He is able to create invisible objects from what he mimicking of. They usually are real objects, meaning they can be dangerous depending on what he’s mimicking. 

Mime strength - during his mimicking, he have a strength of mime power which makes him able to carry anything without hesitation. However if distracted, this power turns fades away.

 Mime speed - same as mime strength, but instead deals with speed

Black rose - If he stares at the rose long enough, it transforms into what he thinking about.

(he later knew this power when he was looking at the rose some other day.)

Black makeup- if he puts this on his face, he becomes stronger have more abilities (it was given by Gabriel since he thinks it will destroy ladybug and chat noir faster)

Black makeup abilities:

He can make the object visible 

Makes aura that causes everything to become black & white which makes everyone around him slower

Misty mouth - cause a person to become drowsy and dizzy

Monsterifator (akumantized form)

Altered personality: sarcastic, mischief, reckless, careless, selfish

cause of akumanzation: The way the police guards was treating him in prison

Goal: he want people to know how it feels to get insulted by looks

Akumantized object: Handcuffs

Abilities:

Runs fast

Sharp claws that tear a metal (and skin)

Can turn anyone to a literal monster

He can talk now..

(the design was inspired by xlr8) 

Relationships (Main Ones)

Mime & Gabriel

Mime had met Gabriel when he followed him. After becoming a villain, he usually works for him now. He usually obey his tasks but if he disagrees Gabriel will get angry at him. Mime usually works hard for his tasks just so he can please Gabriel.  

Unnamed arc

When mime & ladybug was sent to sorrow world, Mime realized that Gabriel didn’t care about mime and see him less then anything after ladybug explained it to him. As soon they both got out of the dimension, mime run at him and grab him (while having a invisible gun). He did this so that ladybug can attack him easily.

Later after all of this happened, he retired as a villain completely. He said his last goodbye to his friends and left. He hid himself in public until something happened in France (for now am not going to explain it.)

Mime & Mr Pigeon

Mime is best friends with Mr pigeon. He pretty get asked for teamups. Outside of fighting, Mime is sometimes annoyed about what Mr pigeon does. He really don’t like how he brags about how strong he is and etc. 

unnamed arc

After leaving Daroness for good, Mr pigeon was trying to convince him to come back, but mime refuses. He waved goodbye to his friend (and his other friends) and left. 

Mime & Ladybug

Mime was enemies with Ladybug. He usually attacks her and chat noir the most due to most of the tasks. However, he really have nothing against ladybug other then foiling his tasks. 

Unnamed arc

When mime & Ladybug was sent to sorrow world, he attempted to attack her there. Until he saw photos. As he saw the photos he started crying, and Ladybug tried to cheer him up. Then she told him what Gabriel was truly was. Mime soon got angry and offered alliance with ladybug, which she agreed on.

After the entire incident happened, he became friends with ladybug.

Mime & Nathalie

Mime pretty much just knows Nathalie. He sometimes to talk Nathalie, but nothing much happened between them. He did heard about her running away which he wonders why. 

Unnamed arc

He later met up with her again. He wanted to know more information about Gabriel himself. 

Christophe & His mother

He pretty much loves his mother. She the only one who stayed with him after the meteor incident. His father sorta did but he die at work for unknown reason. He pretty much takes care of his mother everyday.

Full body

as young adult (before)

Redeemed look

Other information

He likes growing flowers as a hobby as well.

He doesn’t like Andre’s ice cream. He tends to get his ice cream some where else though.

He sometimes bake things to make him happy

He is one of the villains who doesn’t remember their akumantized forms. The other being Nathalie and ha-endor.

The reason why his backstory is in all black and gray because its how he views his backstory as gloomy and dull.

Until this day, mime still doesn’t know why Gabriel wants the miraculous 

#miraculous mime #miraculous the mime #miraculous ladybug #miraculous au #miraculous gabriel #gabriel agreste #miraculous nathalie #nathalie sancoeur #mr pigeon