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#so you don't get to decide how i should talk. you cannot tell me what to do. that violates the whole concept of freedom of speech.
thatkinkyautistic · 11 months
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i hope nobody get's mad at me ever again for being too technical and formal, if i seem cold hearted because i read as being too emotionally blank and academic, that's not my intentions.
i just talk like this when I've got full spoons, so i can talk from a place of reason, and rationally and logically communicate things to my best extent.
this is how i naturally communicate when I'm functioning at my best, I'm not super emotional and such, like you would expect from a woman.
it may seem harsh,but this is just how i am at my very core.
i try my best to be a well spoken individual. i refuse to dumb myself down, or coddle others to make them comfortable when it's totally unfair and clearly not necessary to do so.
there are hard truths out there, and there are complicated topics and complex words out there.
you may not understand them, but that is not my fault and i shall not mince my speech for others.
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sttoru · 3 months
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·.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. you’ve been one of sukuna’s many concubines for quite a while now. yet, you still cannot get rid of the jealousy in your system whenever he interacts with the other women in his harem.
wc. idk around 1 to 2k
tags. true form!sukuna x concubine!female reader. angst (hurt to comfort), fluff, suggestive at the end. heian era. you call sukuna ‘my lord’. reader gets called ‘brat, little girl’. size difference. no part2, don’t ask i beg. not beta read.
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“get back here, brat,” sukuna raises his voice as he follows you. he isn’t one to care about others’ emotional outbursts, yet here he is, chasing you after you’ve poured out your heart to him.
you don’t know why you’re this upset. you do know, however, that it’s childish of you to walk away mid dinner. you should’ve just stayed seated and refuse to let the thoughts consume you.
now you’re speed walking down the hallways of the estate—your legs carrying you as fast as they can without actually making a run for it. your mind keeps replaying the ‘unsettling’ scene that caused you to flee.
you remember it vividly. the sound of sukuna’s low, amused chuckle. how intrigued it was because of something another concubine told him—how he stopped chewing to say something back to her. which he rarely does.
hell, you’ve never seen him laugh around his other concubines.
“i do not wish to talk to you right now, my lord,” you reply, voice raised so the distance wouldn’t make it a hassle for the king of curses to hear you. you know that feisty attitude of yours entertains sukuna to no end.
he raises an eyebrow once he’s heard your voice; how it’s dripping with envy and hurt. you’ve never reacted like that before—at least not in his presence. it made him want to figure out why and how.
though, he can easily guess the reasoning behind your sudden defiance.
“oh, that so?” sukuna hums. he’s lenient with you this time around. he could catch up to you in under a split second, but he decides to give you that sense of accomplishment first before completely destroying it. he walks after you slowly, your fast steps being the same tempo as his slow pace.
you don’t answer. you’re stubborn. you have no right to feel jealous. you are a fairly new concubine—only a couple months ago did you join sukuna’s harem. yet, the time spent with him was precious.
he treats you differently. everyone notices that. everyone tells you the same. you know he does by the way he lets you off the hook with most stuff you say and do.
you don’t know what you did to gain his favouritsm, but it’s addicting. his attention is addictive. real addictive.
you had sworn not to develop any unneccessary feelings for that ruthless sorcerer. but, with the way sukuna treated you so gently behind closed doors, it was impossible not to.
you eventually reach the doors to your chambers. you slide them open and wish to close them behind you, only for a big hand to halt those movements. you freeze in place and refuse to look up at the owner of that said hand.
“look up,” sukuna demands. his voice causes goosebumps to appear on your arms, but you still don't budge. he clicks his tongue. that’s your first warning. two more and your punishment will be carried out, “we can do this the hard way too if you want.”
you turn your head, your fingers curling around the material of your kimono. you really should not feel this way about a little interaction between sukuna and his other concubine. that is none of your concern. what he does with those other women is none of your concern.
and yet. . .
“i don't want to,” you retort. sukuna walks into your room with a sigh. each step he takes forwards, you take backwards. your back finally bumps against the wall next to your bed.
sukuna towers over you, his tall and big frame making you feel vulnerable. especially with the way those red eyes of his are staring down at you. he crosses all four of his arms before speaking.
“tell me what’s running through that head of yours,” sukuna inquires sternly. he isn’t playing around anymore, you can tell. you glance the other way—knowing that he will laugh at you the moment you tell him why you’re upset.
you have a feeling he knows the reason behind your tantrum anyway.
“it’s nothing of importance, my lord,” you shake your head and relax your tense shoulders to make you seem less upset. your words have some truth in them—you don’t think your feelings of envy hold any value to him.
sukuna sighs again. he’s trying his best not to be annoyed at you. you’re his favorite and he wishes not to sadden you any further. he steps forwards, one hand moving to cup the side of your face.
his rough fingers play with a string of your hair, “i’m not stupid, little girl. i don’t like it when my woman is in distress.”
your heart skips a beat. this is what confuses you—how he can go from stern to gentle and vice versa. it’s surprisingly unexpected, which makes you long for more. even if his behaviour is confusing.
you look up at sukuna. your eyes meet for the first time in a good couple minutes. the corner of sukuna’s lips curls up into a satisfied smirk. that’s one step closer to getting you to open up.
“now,” the king of curses lowers his head to your eye level, the proximity all the more nerve wracking. he holds your jaw super tightly out of the blue. it makes you whimper.
“spit it out.”
there it is. the duality of the man strikes once more. you swallow the spit that’s been building up in your mouth. you bite your bottom lip lightly, trying to gather and form the right words to explain yourself.
sukuna wouldn’t understand. he’s a cold-hearted man who doesn’t care about such ‘trivial’ matters. he’ll just call you stupid, pathetic or whatever other derogatory term.
you stop your thoughts for a moment.
“it’s really just a stupid thing,” you mutter. your fingers curl around sukuna’s wrist—the one hand he’s using to firmly hold your jaw. you take a deep breath in, “i did not like it when you, errr. . . when that woman talked to you at the dinner table.”
your voice is clearly dripping with jealousy. pure, pure jealousy. and for what? because he talked to his other concubine. you feel stupid. you thought you discarded your personal feelings for the sorcerer before you the moment you turned into one of his many women.
“that woman?” sukuna tilts his head, feigning ignorance. that little grin on his face tells you enough. he’s playing with you like some form of entertainment. well, technically you are.
he wants you to be specific. he’s forcing you to be by acting like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.
in all honesty, sukuna’s already forgotten what that woman had said to him. it wasn’t and still isn’t worth remembering. all he can recall is your adorable facial expression when you saw him interact like that with his other concubine.
that little frown on your face was priceless. it makes him want to keep teasing you.
“you know who i am talking about, my lord,” you huff, trying to look away, but get stopped by sukuna readjusting his grip on your jaw. he firmly yet gently taps your cheek once and you know what it means.
“attitude,” sukuna warns with a quick hiss. he can let you say whatever you want to him, but you also have some limits regarding which tone you use with him. you apologise quietly under your breath.
the king of curses nods in satisfaction before releasing the grip on your jaw. his large hand trails down to your neck, thumb rubbing up and down your throat, “so, my little girl is mad at me because i talked to another concubine of mine, huh?”
you nod mindlessly. sukuna can easily get you to comply with him—to obey his every word, simply with his actions. the terms of endearment he uses are the cherry on top. they slip off his tongue so easily with you.
“tsk tsk,” sukuna shakes his head. his hand is now on the back of your head, fingers tangled into your hair. he’s staring down at you with a smug expression. he knows he’s got you wrapped around his finger, “how childish of you.”
you knew that would be one of the things he’d say to you. what you didn’t expect is for him to go for a kiss right after. his lips land on yours firmly, and to no surprise, you instantly return the gesture.
your arms wrap around his neck—your chest pressing against his. sukuna wastes no time in picking you up and letting your legs encircle his waist. he’s not pulling away for air to breathe and you don’t either.
“you’re going to listen to me, yeah?” sukuna murmurs between passionate kisses. he’s holding onto you tightly with two arms, his free hands roaming over your body whilst he pins you against the wall.
when you whimper out a weak, high-pitched ‘yes, my lord’, he smirks against your mouth before turning to kiss your neck. he slightly bites the skin to make sure you’re paying attention to him.
“i don’t remember what that woman said,” sukuna continues, nearly out of breath because of the kisses he’s leaving all over you. he easily grabs both your wrists and pins them above your head on the wall, “i was too busy lookin’ at a much prettier concubine of mine.”
he pulls back a little so he can look you in the eyes. you’re panting and embarrassed by what he just said. one of his hands finds your face again, tracing the shape of your mouth.
“my favourite,” sukuna whispers whilst licking his lips. you can see it in his eyes: he’s silently planning out how he’s going to remind you of your place. your place as his favorite concubine.
he dips his head back down, aiming for the valley between your breasts. he closes his eyes before sucking on the surrounding flesh;
“guess i’ll be nice for once ‘nd show you just what it means to be my favorite so that you’ll never dare forget it again.”
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max1461 · 1 month
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Compare the way gymbros/bodybuilding enthusiasts/etc. talk about the influence of genetics on success to the way rationalist/more general social optimizationist IQ enthusiasts talk about the influence of genetics on success.
Every gymbro on the planet will acknowledge that good genetics play a role, often a pretty large role, in how much muscle you can expect to gain—especially if you're a natural lifter (as opposed to enhanced). But this is virtually always said merely as a caveat, never the centerpiece of discussion. The centerpiece of the discussion is always effort and training methodology. Why? Because the assumption is that if you're here, listening to a gymbro talk about gym shit, you want to get jacked. Your genetics are what they are, so why dwell on them? The point is, what can you do, with whatever genetics you happen to have, to get as jacked as possible. And the answer is ultimately "yeah, some people are gonna have a higher natural ceiling than others, but you won't know where yours is until you try—apply yourself as if you have a chance to be the best in the world, and even if you don't reach those heights, you'll probably end up pretty fucking jacked". And this is true. And as far as I'm concerned, it's the best way to think about the notion of natural talent.
IQ enthusiasts are always talking about how we should be testing IQ early and sorting people into social roles based on their scores. I despise this kind of thinking. I'm not Terence Tao, I have no desire to pretend I'm Terence Tao. But I like math, and I'm gonna try to get as good at math as I can possibly be. If someone had tested me at a young age, decided I wasn't cut out for math, and filtered me into a different social role, I would regard that as an injustice (a grave injustice) against me. People should be empowered to pursue their own ends, that's my eternal mantra when it comes to politics. Maybe society would achieve more net productive capacity if we filtered the people with natural math talent into math roles or whatever. I cannot underscore enough the degree to which I do not fucking care.
I have no sympathy for people who want to tell others who to be.
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anantaru · 3 months
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— comforting you on a bad day
including — scaramouche, wriothesley, alhaitham, childe x gn! reader
genre — fluff, hurt -> comfort
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— scaramouche
scaramouche finds you sitting on the couch, burying your face into your hands.
easy to see, he knew you must've had a bad day or that something inconvenient must've happen to you— and unquestionably, he feels a slight function of heartache when you're suddenly pulling your head up to look at him walk towards you, gloom settling on his countenance.
scaramouche doesn't say anything at first, he doesn't want to make you overwhelmed or like you had to talk about it, it was up to you if you wanted of course. but it was interesting to see how dependable he was on your happiness, because the man detested seeing your smile fade, he'd do anything to bring it back— as soon as you're sad, unahappy or dejected, he's beginning to feel it with you.
he was angry— bend out of his usual shape because he cannot find a quick solution to this, he just doesn't want to see you covered in a gloomy mask.
however, instead of resorting back to his past methods of handling situations such as those, especially the ones that come close to his own emotions, scaramouche decides to take a seat right next to you before placing his hand on his knee, but with his palm facing up— you see, as if to invite you to take it.
hopefully you do.
"you're quiet," he inquires shortly after, tilting his head to look at you, "on any other day, you'd greet me the moment i walk through that door," he purses his lips a little, the hand on his knee quietly turning impatient, like he's scared you won't take it— or even worse, what if he's the reason you felt this way?
troubled, scaramouche proceeds to look at you, and it might not come across like it since it can be quite difficult for him to show his proper feelings— but he'd do anything for you right now, if there's something he could do in order for your smile to appear again, he'd do it without batting an eye.
his throat lets go of a dry sigh when you take his hand sweetly before resting your head against his shoulder, holding your breath as you exhale through a crumbling heave.
scaramouche's grip on you tightens, "who did this to you?" he decides to ask, his voice growing an octave louder, ultimately signalizing the despair he felt from seeing you like this, "is there someone who made you feel this way? someone i should be aware of?" scaramouche had to know if there was a third party that was involved and most importantly, responsible for this— if so, you could easily leave it to him to take care of it.
you sniffle, the grip your hand had on his palm strengthening, "no one, it's just me," you embarrassingly rub your cheek against his shoulder as he leans back into the couch so you could make yourself more comfortable, "i just had a bad day, that's all," and as badly as your eyes wanted to flutter shut, you were frightened to do so due to possible tears dousing your cheeks.
for some reason, you didn't want him to see you cry— despite the fact that you would never be judged nor laughed at by him.
the man loves you dearly, he could tell the entire world about it— draw warm and tender words on a pavement blossoming with roses. it's truly a magical feeling, turning to dizzying deeds and actions when he gets to kiss and hug you, touch and caress you.
scaramouche whispers your name softly when he slowly runs his thumb to circle around your hand, "hey, you don't have to be sad anymore," at his sentence, you curiously turn your head up as best as you can when his eyes flitter down at you.
"i mean, since i'm back from the akademiya now, we can spend all night together," you make a hum of appreciation before shifting yourself into him so you're lying as close to your boyfriend as possible, "—besides," scaramouche continues as he rests his head against yours, his mind and spirit soothing yours, "if someone is, in fact, responsible for your sadness, i might need to take care of something else first."
you chuckle, believing he's joking before opting to peck his cheek as at the same time, he pulls you in for a proper kiss— ah well, how sweet, you're smiling now, he can sense it as denseness lifts from your shoulders.
strongly invaded by a warm cradle around your whole face, scaramouche silently takes your chin between his thumb and pointer finger, "i told you," he sternly reminds you, whispering his words as his brows narrowed, the muscles in your face beginning to soften upon receiving his homely touch.
"i won't let anyone or anything sadden you, doesn't matter what it is, i will make sure you're being taken care of."
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— wriothesley
you do not move an inch, your body hemmed in a draining blanket that fueled a negative spot in your heart, but do not be mistaken because within this cold, you can feel the warmth of wriothesley's love all the more.
you're like a sheet of glass right now, utterly still, eyes open as if gazing into a dark hole, unable to move a single muscle by how challenging this day had been for you.
as soon as he shrouds your body against his arms and pushes you into his chest, your eyes are glazed in warm liquid that cover the majority of your cheeks, slowly eating away at your skin. your boyfriend doesn't mind when you're crying in front of him, quite the reverse actually, he sees it as you trusting him so much, that you're willing to be vulnerable in front of him.
as soon as he kisses your forehead in reassurance, the force of the impact your emotions have caused on your mental state lift a little, paired with your general feelings resulting in you stumbling forward into his embrace, your hands clumsily scrambling at his jacket as you sniffle into his chest.
in your relationship you didn't need to hide your raw emotions, not only would wriothesley see through you right away, but it's, bluntly saying, pointless to do that in the first place. the man knows that in this moment in time, he needs to be there for you, and he doesn't expect you to be happy and positive all the time.
yet seeing you like this feels like losing a limb, because you're completing wriothesley in a way, you're like a puzzle piece fixing his heart— the fear of being unable to help you, give you what you need was scrambling into his body and mind, and if you ultimately sought after it, the duke would gladly destroy anything to make you happy, including himself.
"sorry, am i being too much?" you sniffle out before rubbing your eyes to get rid of the blur, honestly clueless as to why you're apologizing in the first place, "i think you must've expected our date to turn out differently," you continue, it was all you could shove past the heavy lump in your throat. you're holding yourself on a single thread, deep breathes and hefty swallows, your soft fingers slipping beneath the back of his neck.
wriothesley smiled, feeling the pull of it behind his heart, he disliked whenever you were apologizing for things you cannot control, not to mention when they were so human too.
"not at all, do not say that," he answers, holding you close, "you will never be able to be too much for me," he promises as he sighs out, one last octave teasing the following as his lips slowly move with a warm tenderness on your forehead once he places a kiss on you.
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— alhaitham
alhaitham will not touch you, yes, he will sit next to you and offer a shoulder for you to lean on if you so seek it, but he will not begin to speak first nor say anything at all— wether it's questioning your current state or beginning to somehow figure it out on his own.
instead, he just listens to you.
you can talk to your boyfriend about everything, he does not care if it's pointless gossip you've overheard the other day, or you talking about this new, exciting hobby you found or like now, something that has pulled and squeezed at your heart like you're unable to breathe anymore.
he will not interrupt you, the man will make sure you can scream your heart out of your chest if it means that you feel better afterwards. he's a good listener and when you tell him everything that's on your mind, alhaitham will subconsciously ponder about possible solutions on how to help you out.
"nothing could be more human than this, don't ever feel like you have to hide this from me," he says as your tears slip beyond your control, rushing uncontrollably. alhaitham desired you beyond any significant reason, he has fallen for you and such fact will never falter, it's beyond native intelligence, beyond common sense.
although sometimes, he can trail off, it's cute, especially when he's catching himself admiring his darling, "you're so beautiful, have i told you that today?" for a second, right after you tipple over his words, your body is unable to react, and then you cannot help yourself but let go of a chuckle.
his sudden compliment came so unexpected regardless of your boyfriend being blunt by nature, "you're telling me this while i'm crying and looking like a mess?" your lips curve into a flustered smile, cutting through your initial weary facade. the chilling waves that flung into your body surely caused havoc, but it was almost frightening by how fast alhaitham could change your mood. 
"I thought you should know," he ponders, softly pushing your head up so you could look at him, "you're always beautiful to me, that has nothing to do with how you're feeling,"
shortly after, you lean into a tender kiss, chasing the love he was always providing you with— this time, simply feeling him once wasn't enough, so you kiss him again, again and again, leaving him with enlarged pupils as he pulls gently away.
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— childe
childe will find things to make you feel better, heavy emphasized on the find.
it's something he has to get done and despite the fact that he might not seem like it, he feels it with you, everything, it impact him, regardless if you're being drained that day, saddened or if it even has anything to do with him in the first place.
naturally, he'd also pamper you so you're feeling more comfortable, but such wasn't necessarily a new in your relationship, he clearly has a habit of spoiling you to bits— the celestial bodies decorating the world, yes, ajax would reach for the stars in the sky if you so wished for them.
you're aware that he's mostly absent due to his work requiring him for the most times, but he'd make sure to be by your side the moment he realizes you're genuinely not feeling well. childe is quite adapt of finding a way to make what he wants to achieve possible so do not worry yourself, he will never let you down.
for all that, do not get greatly surprised when he's starting to throw around unfunny jokes his brother might've told him or tell you a story about how hilariously weird his fellow colleagues can be, not to mention scary which was rib-tickling in its own manner.
the man will get nervous too and it's cute, it's his first serious relationship and he doesn't want to do anything wrong. also, important side note but it goes without saying that him being this adorable will already lift your mood a bit.
he's also a little overwhelmed by the situation and is scared to make it somehow worse for you. little does he realize that you're so thankful to him, in fact, you do not need him to magically solve the problems for you, your boyfriend just being here and listening was enough to find comfort.
it's all the more charming, he is, how he smiles from head to toe when you're searching his snug, pleasant hugs when he lets you sob into his chest.
"you're so comfy," you mumble into his jacket before rubbing your cheek over the place where you could faintly notice his fastened heart thumping beneath his ribcage.
your message makes him immediately blush, scarlet red catching his skin and setting it ablaze as he averts his gaze a little to conceal it.
childe doesn't necessarily think he's good at comforting somebody, but he shows you another smile when you gaze up at him, his grin close-lipped but bright as a bared tooth, "i'm sorry, i know i have neglected you recently," you recognize the weary weight of his words, how they're crumpling off his face, "my work, ugh, i know i should've been there for you more," he groans, "you don't deserve to be alone all the time,"
"it's not your fault," you draw a shaky gasp, panicked arms flying to his neck to wrap around him, "you're here now, aren't you?" your eyes glow, flickering with an impression that he cannot forget, it's boiling over until reaching the surface of your complete countenance, "can you stay for the night? only if it's possible," you reluctantly continue.
it's important to note that you really do not fault him, childe was not only providing for his family, but he wanted to give you a life where you do not have to worry about the material aspect of living.
ajax slides his large palm soothingly along the shiver of pain wracking your frame as he listlessly rests his head against yours, "i'll stay as long as you want me to, until you're feeling better, until you can smile again."
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©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify, claim as your own
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girlgenius1111 · 3 months
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stuck with me
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alexia x reader
alexia and r get into an argument just before the holiday break, as the stress of ale's knee injury bubbles over. r loses... a lot of sleep over it. alexia makes it up to her, even though she really doesn't have to.
no warnings :)
To be fair to Alexia, she didn't know you had sleep issues. How could she, when she'd practically been the cure for them? You'd had sleep problems long before you'd gotten together with Alexia, but they had... stopped, magically, when you started sharing a bed. Neither of you spent many nights alone once you got together, so most nights, you slept well, curled up against your steady, dependable girlfriend.
The exceptions were, obviously, when you went home for breaks without her and when you both had to go on national duty. You slept fine at home, away from the stresses of your job, in the comfort of the place you'd grown up in. Normally.
And in regards to national duty, you were lucky to have incredibly teammates. Lucy knew of your problem, and also knew that sleeping in the same bed as someone else was helpful. It wasn't Alexia, and it wasn't perfect, but you slept. You knew you'd have to find a solution when [if] Lucy retired, but for now, there was no reason why you'd spend more than the odd night without Alexia.
That was, of course, until her knee re-injury. Before the following surgery and holiday break. And the not insignificant fight that you'd gotten into with her around that time. It was a tough time for her, you knew, and she was coping with it the best she could. You'd been hovering over her, you knew that too.
You were just so worried, all the time. Alexia was so miserable not being able to play, so frustrated with her knee that sometimes you thought she was finally just going to breakdown and herself feel it all. She never did, though. Not until the day her and the medical team had decided on surgery. It was a few days before you were do back in England for the holidays, and you'd already been considering cancelling, and staying with your girlfriend. She needed you, physically and emotionally.
You really should have waited to bring up your plans to stay until she was in a better mood. Instead, you'd suggested it to her over a very quiet dinner, after the date for the arthroscopy had been set.
-----
"I'm gonna cancel my plane tickets to London, I think. Stay here with you." You suggested casually.
"What?" Alexia asked, dropping her fork onto her plate with a loud clatter.
"I want to spend Christmas here. You're having surgery and-"
"No."
"No?" You said, slightly hurt by the tone of voice she was using.
"No, you have to go home and see your family. I will be fine here."
"Ale, I want to be here."
"I do not need you here." Alexia said finally, avoiding your gaze. You knew she didn't mean it; she was in pain, frustrated, anxious, and trying not to inconvenience you. Still, you felt your eyes fill with tears at the rejection, and you nodded silently, before turning back to your food. You wouldn't cry, couldn't add any more stress to Alexia's already insane load of it.
"Now you will not talk to me?" Alexia asked. You looked up at her in shock, surprised that the next words out of her mouth hadn't been an apology.
"Just leave it, Alexia. I'll be out of your way tomorrow." You said back quietly, allowing some of the sadness you were feeling seep into your voice.
"Do not be like that. You tell me all the time to tell you what I need, and what I need is for you to go to England and see your family."
"Alright, Ale. I got it. You want me to go, I understand." You tried your hardest to keep your voice steady, but it still shook towards the end of the sentence.
"Amor, stop. That is not what I am saying and you know it," Alexia argued.
"I don't really know what you're saying, Alexia. It sounds like you want me to go."
Alexia exhaled loudly, before pushing her chair away from the table and standing up.
"I cannot deal with you if you are going to be like this." She snapped, before slamming her plate into the sink and marching off to the bedroom.
You didn't understand, not really. It seemed like she didn't want you here. Because that's exactly what she had been saying to you. You knew it wasn't really you that was the problem, it was Alexia's inability to allow you to see how upset she was.
This was reinforced when you went into the bedroom a little while later to pack. The shower was on, but you could still hear her crying over the soft patter of water. You knocked on the door, prepared to let the fight go in favor of making sure she was okay, but the little whimpers and shaky breaths cut off abruptly, and she didn't say anything else.
She kept you at arms length for the rest of the night, only speaking when she asked you to come to bed, an olive branch she was extending. You did, but you both kept to your own sides of the bed. You didn't sleep well that night.
Alexia hugged you goodbye the next day at the airport, and you thought she held you a bit tighter than normal. She handed you a little note, requested that you read it on the plane, and softly kissed your cheek, before allowing you to go through security.
The note had been a lengthy apology, scrawled in her familiar loopy, messy handwriting, confirming that everything you thought was going on with her was correct. She was stressed, she didn't want you to worry, or change your plans for her. She shouldn't have yelled, or been so cruel, and she hadn't meant it. She loved you. So much, she said. Things would be better after her surgery.
You'd thanked her for her apology once you'd landed. You'd spoken, often, since then, but there was still so much tension. You were both busy with family, and there wasn't really any time to have an in depth conversation about what had transpired.
You knew the surgery had gone well, they'd fixed the problem, and that Alexia was doing much better. The second part wasn't something that she had to tell you, it was obvious in the increase in texts, and the mushiness that she included. Whenever she went through a hard time, she closed herself off, and when it ended, she'd always overcompensate, feeling guilty, until she went back to normal. That was Alexia, and you loved her.
-----
The biggest casualty of this fight was, unfortunately, your sleep. You struggled while you were home, when normally, you slept fine there. Obviously not as well as when you were with Alexia, but fine. This time, though, you barely slept. Nothing worked, and the only time you were able to sleep was when your body literally shut down, forcing you to sleep for a few hours every other day or so. You were sure it was because of this unresolved fight, and you knew that once you physically saw your girlfriend, you'd be fine. Especially once you could go back to falling asleep on her chest, the steady beat of her heart making you feel warm, and safe, and comfortable.
This was why you'd cut your trip short, and were currently touching down in Spain, a full 5 days before you were supposed to return home. That, and you missed Alexia. You knew she was slightly confused; you'd been weirdly distant while you'd been gone, because you were exhausted, but she didn't know that. She assumed you were mad, until you told her you were coming home early. After that, she gave up trying to figure out what was going on with you, and focused herself on cleaning the apartment, going grocery shopping for all your favorite things, and buying you flowers. She'd been awful, she knew it, and she was determined to make it up to you.
-----
Alexia was waiting for you by baggage claim; you saw her once you got halfway down the escalator. She was leaned against the wall, baseball cap sat over her blonde hair. She was wearing an old England sweatshirt of yours, and you couldn't help the grin that your lips lifted into at the sight. Your beautiful, perfect, girlfriend, head on an absolute swivel, determined not to miss you.
You saw the moment she she saw you, too, her lips turning up at the corners, shifting her weight from foot to foot as if she could barely contain herself from running to you, which she wasn't yet supposed to do. You got down the escalator and over to her in probably an embarrassingly short amount of time, taking care not to put too much of your weight on her, minding her healing knee.
"Amor," she sighed into your hair, arms holding you almost painfully tight.
"Hi, beautiful," you said back, words almost swallowed by her [your] sweatshirt, and the noisy crowds around you.
"Te extrañé mucho de menos," Alexia murmured, pulling back from the hug to pull you in for a kiss. She froze, however, eyebrows scrunching adorably, as she finally got a good look at your face. You knew what she was looking at. "Are you sick?" She asked, feeling your forehead with the back of her hand.
"No, not sick. Just a little tired."
She looked at you skeptically, hand unmoving from your forehead until you pushed it away and leaned up, pursing your lips expectantly. She smiled, finally meeting your lips in a sweet kiss. She pulled away much to soon in your opinion, laughing at your disgruntled expression.
"You need sleep, amor. We can go home and you can rest. Once you sleep, I will give you all the kisses you want, okay?"
"Fineeee," you sighed, allowing Alexia to take your hand, and lead you off to find your bag. She insisted on wheeling it out to the car, even though she was actively recovering from surgery, but she seemed determined to spoil you today.
You sat in content silence in the car, your girlfriend's hand intertwined with yours. You felt that you should have been sleepy, but you were completely wired, eyes open wide, tapping your knee repetitively.
"Do you want to tell me what is going on?" Alexia asked finally, about 10 minutes into the drive. She glanced at you out of the corner of her eye, spotting the way you went rigid at her question.
"What do you mean?"
"Amor, come on. You look like you have not slept in days." Your only response is a shrug, as you turn your attention out the window.
"Hey. Why did you not sleep?" Alexia insisted, pulling on your hand to get you to pay attention to her.
"I missed you." You replied finally, feeling Alexia's hand tighten around yours.
"I missed you too. That is why you did not sleep well?"
"I... I never used to sleep very well. Until I started sleeping next to you, and then I slept fine. I normally don't have problems sleeping when I go home, though, but this time... I think I was just stressed about our argument."
"I did not know that." Alexia said quietly. "You never told me."
"I know, I know. It just didn't seem like a big deal, because it wasn't, once I was with you."
Your girlfriend looked like she had a million questions, but she didn't ask them. "I am so sorry our fight made you lose sleep. I was completely unfair to you. You do not need to worry about anything now, though, okay? I made your favorite for dinner, if you are hungry. If not, we can just go right to bed. I am yours for the rest of break, whatever you need."
"Really?"
"Really."
-----
You ate the delicious dinner Alexia had cooked, and then took a warm shower. When you got out, you noticed that Alexia had completely unpacked for you, and laid out your favorite pajamas. She was already in the bed, despite it barely being 7pm, looking adorably cozy in a big sweatshirt, the hood tugged up over her head.
"Ale, we don't need to go to sleep now, it's early, you're probably not tired." You said as you pulled the pajamas on. The exhaustion was starting to hit you, and you wanted to promise that you could stay up until a normal time, but you weren't sure you could.
"A bit tired. Whether I fall asleep or not, I want to be right here. Anyway, I should put my knee up." Alexia said dismissively, patting the bed next to her.
"Ale," you began but she shook her head.
"No arguments, bebita. Get in bed." You sighed dramatically, but did as she asked, climbing under the covers and scooting right over to Alexia, as though she was a magnet. You settled against her, shutting your eyes. You heard the lamp flick off, and felt Alexia wrap an arm around you, tugging you into her side.
You tried to fall asleep. Really, you had no idea why you couldn't. You were here, with Alexia, and you should have been able to sleep, easily, especially considering how tired you were. You couldn't manage it though, quickly getting annoyed when your brain wouldn't just turn off.
After the 6th time you shifted positions, Alexia kissed the side of your head, and spoke. "Having a hard time?"
"Yes," you mumbled, burying your face in her chest.
"Be patient. You are exhausted, you will fall asleep soon. Just relax." Alexia encouraged, rubbing a hand up and down your back.
Another 10 minutes passed, in which you felt no closer to sleep. Rolling off of Alexia with a huff, you glared up at the ceiling. Next to you, Alexia rolled onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow to gaze down at you.
"You are putting too much pressure on yourself. It is just sleeping, bonita." She said quietly, running a soft finger over your cheek.
Tears of frustration beginning to pool in your eyes. It was just sleeping. It should be easy. You were just realizing for the first time how incredibly tired you were, and how difficult the past couple days had been.
"Do not cry, por favor," Alexia pleaded.
"I can't, I can't fall asleep." Alexia looked at you sympathetically, thumbs wiping away the tears that fell. She sat both of you up after a minute. "Take off your shirt," she instructed, pulling her own over her head, leaving her with only a sports bra on.
"I'm too tired for sex," you cried, the thought only making you more upset; you had missed your girlfriend. A lot. The fact that you were too tired to do anything about it was painful.
"Not sex, amor, just take your shirt off." Alexia insisted, pulling at the hem. You did as she asked, looking rather miserable. You, too, were left in only your bra, but Alexia's eyes were only on yours as she laid back down, rolling onto her side and pulling you in so your head was pressed right over her bare chest, where her heart was.
Your body relaxed without you telling it to, the feeling of Alexia, and only Alexia, engulfing you. Your skin was pressed to hers, inhaling the soft scent of her perfume, feeling her hands rub rhythmically up and down your bare back.
"There you go," she said into your hair, feeling your body sag against hers. "Sleep for me, okay?" She asked.
You couldn't have told her no if you wanted to. Your eyes shut almost immediately, and you felt suddenly so peaceful, brain slowing down until you were only thinking about how good your girlfriend felt against you.
-----
When you woke up, you knew you'd been asleep for a while, if the amount of light flooding the room was any indication. It was bright, even with your eyes shut, which indicated that it was past noon; the sun only came in through the bedroom window after noon. Your body felt stiff but, for the first time in a while, you felt well rested. You were content to wake up slowly, enjoy the comfort of your bed
You attempted to roll over, searching for Alexia's side of the bed so you could use her pillow, (you swore it was comfier). Instead, you rolled right into Alexia herself, and heard her let out a soft laugh. You cracked your eyes open, finding Alexia laying on her back, arm still tucked around your shoulders. Her fingers flitted through your hair, and you relaxed back into her, scooting closer until your head was crammed into the crook of her neck.
"Why are you still in bed?" You mumbled into her. Her body vibrated under yours as she laughed again.
"Are you complaining?" She teased, clearly referencing the way you'd moved yourself so that every part of your body possible was be touching hers.
"No. It has to be late, though. You've been sleeping fine, you didn't have to stay in bed with me." You told her.
"I always sleep better with you, amor. I wanted you to rest, as much as you needed. You are cute when you sleep, anyway. Your nose scrunches up and you make little sounds when you roll around." Alexia murmured into your hair, and you didn't have to see her face to know she was blushing at the information she'd just revealed.
You left a kiss on her neck, before pulling away so you could see her face. "What time is it?"
Alexia didn't say anything, a slightly guilty expression on her face.
"Alexia Putellas, what time is it?" You demanded.
"3PM." She told you quietly.
"3PM?" You shouted, sitting upright in the bed. Sure enough, the clock on the nightstand reflected the time back to you. You'd slept the whole day away. Two of you didn't have any plans, but still.
"How much did you sleep while you were gone? Really, amor? The least I could do was help you rest." Alexia avoided your eyes.
"What do you mean the least you could do?" You asked, softening your tone.
"I was so horrible to you before you left. And then our fight made you not sleep well," the blonde explained, looking miserable.
"And you apologized, Ale. You were under a lot of stress, I get it." You really weren't mad anymore.
"No, that is not good enough. I have to make it up to you. I wanted you here with me, more than anything, but you have already done so much, and I did not want to ruin your Christmas." Alexia insisted, getting seemingly worked up.
"Alexia, I understand. You said all of this in your note."
"I want to say it again." Alexia said stubbornly, crossing her arms across her chest.
"Look at me." You instructed, turning face towards you with a hand on her cheek when she refused. Her eyes were glossy with unshed tears. "Amor, I forgive you. I told you I forgave you, when I read your letter. Do you not believe me?" You wondered, as your girlfriend didn't look the least bit relieved at you letting her off the hook.
"I believe you, it is just that...no se como decirlo." She sighed.
"Try, please. We've fought before, Alexia, worse than this. What is it about this one that is making you so upset?" You pressed, not relenting even as she shrugged in response.
"I do not want to lose you," Alexia whispered finally, a single tear sliding down her face, as she clenched her jaw, trying to keep together.
"Baby, you are not going to lose me." You promised, moving closer to take her hand in yours. "I knew you didn't mean what you said. You apologized, Alexia, it was just a stupid fight. We got past it, just like we'll get past every fight. Always."
"But what if I push you away again? And you get tired of it, and leave?"
"You could never push me away. I might give you space when you need it, but I will always be here for you. Even when you try to pretend you don't need me. I could never get tired of you, Alexia, and I could never leave you. Ever." You said the words slowly, trying to gauge if she believed you or not.
Although she looked slightly unsure, she did look less upset than she had a minute ago, her face relaxing somewhat as she finally look into your eyes.
"You're stuck me with, Ale. For as long as you want me." Alexia let out a wet laugh.
"I will always want you." She said, pulling you in closer to press her lips to yours. The kiss grew heated quickly, until you were straddling her lap, checking multiple times that her knee was unbothered by the position. She promised that it was fine, distracting you by sliding her hands up your sides, and pulling you back in for another messy kiss.
"Alexia, that is not exactly what I meant," you joked, pulling away briefly as she pulled your bra over your head.
"Me neither, but it has been days, and I have missed you. Let me show you how much I have missed you. Please?" Alexia asked, surprisingly shy as she ran her hand up and down your abdomen, teasing at the hem of your shorts.
You leaned in, you agreement clear in the way your lips met hers, tongue slipping in after a minute. As if you'd ever say no to that offer. You don't think you'd ever say no to anything Alexia asked you. Your love for her was the kind that transcended every issue that could possibly come up. It was you and her, forever.
-----
inspired by my inability to sleep <3 [and my deep belief that sleeping next to a pretty girl would solve all my problems]
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samandcolbyownme · 4 months
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Summary: anon request - "can you write a smut for johnnie guilbert??"
Prompt: Johnnie and reader get into an argument which leads to make up sex.
Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, arguing, hair pulling, pet names (dirty and cute), oral (m rec), unprotected rough makeup sex, filth
Word count: 2.6k | not edited
╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗
Johnnie has been working on editing his and Jake's video all day.
You think, no. You knew he forgot about them.
It wouldn't be as big of a deal if this was only the first time, maybe even the second or third - But it wasn't.
Over the last few weeks, you've had to either cancel or forget about plans because of Johnnie putting majority of his time into his computer screen rather than you.
You didn't really talk to anyone about it, or say anything to Johnnie, mainly because this is his job and you didn't think you had any room to bitch.
You checked your phone, sighing at the time - twenty minutes past reservation.
You used to remind him, then after the thirteenth, fourteenth, and fifteenth time, you decided that he should be able to put down the computer for an hour or two on his own, so you decided to just let things go.
You never really blamed him, sometimes it was because he actually had deadlines to make, or a video he and Jake were doing ran long.
But when that wasn't the case, you used yourself as an excuse - not feeling well, didn't sleep good the night before, something simple yet believable.
You rise up from the couch, walking towards Johnnie's room. You pass Jake in the hallway and he makes a joke you're in no mood for, "Fix your face, you look pissed."
His laughter is silenced when you roll your eyes, "I am."
"Uh oh."  Jake puts his hands on his hips, shifting his weight onto his right leg, "What did Johnnie do?"
You shake your head and cross your arms, looking away from him because you didn't want him to see the frustrated tears in your eyes.
"Am I going to hear yelling?" He asks and you nod, laughing slightly, "Probably."
"Shit." He sighs, "Well if you need backup, just yell- ooh. We should have a code word."
You stare at him, trying not to laugh as he taps his chin, "Hippopotamus."
"Hippop- Jake. Really?" You laugh and he shrugs, "Well yeah, if you just scream hippopotamus, that will for sure throw him off even more, then I can come in with an open can of whoop ass."
He moves his hands in front of him, a serious look on his face that you just cannot take serious, "Okay. I don't think I'll need it, but I appreciate the support."
You pat his shoulder, watching him walk away before taking a deep breath, returning to what you were originally doing.
You stop in front of Johnnie's door, composing yourself so you don't go in, already lit like a fire cracker.
You know twice before opening the door, "Hey."
Johnnie has his headphones on, so he probably didn't hear you. You walk in, closing the door behind you. You walk over to him, gently tapping him on the shoulder.
"Jesus fu-" he jumps and looks up at you, "Jesus Christ, babe." He sighs, "Scared the fucking shit out of me."
"Sorry." You smile slightly and sit on the bed, "Whatcha doin'?"
He pulls his headphones down around his neck, "Just working on getting this video out."
You nod, "Cool. Cool.”
You look around his room, picking at your nails as you try and figure out how to calmly start the conversation.
"What's wrong?" Johnnie asks turning his chair towards you. You look over at him and shrug, "We just.." you laugh slightly, "It's not really funny, but we missed our dinner reservation."
He looks in the corner of his computer, "Oh fuck. I'm sorry." He looks up, "Why didn't you tell me?"
You scoff, raising your brows as you lower your voice, "I shouldn't have to."
"What? Sorry. I didn't quite hear you clearly." Johnnie closes his lap top and sets it on the desk.
You roll your eyes, lying back with a groan, "I'm not arguing with you Johnnie."
"I'm sorry, I must missed the part where I said we were?" He takes his headphones from around his neck,  setting them on top of his closed computer.
You sit up, letting out a sigh, "I said, I shouldn't have to tell you when we have plans, Johnnie." You let your hands fall into your lap with a slap, "I let it go for a while, only because I didn't think I have a right to be mad, but you constantly editing and this or that is effecting us."
"So what.. are you saying?" He stares at you with a solid look, "You're going to leave? All because I'm doing my fucking job?"
"No." Your words come out louder than you intended, "I never fucking said I was leaving, Johnnie. All I said was that I shouldn't have to fucking remind you time and time again that we have plans for us. You and me. Boyfriend and fucking girlfriend!"
"Other than right now, name one fucking time me doing this made us miss out on something." He motions for you to take the floor and you sigh.
"Sam and Colby were throwing a party, I told them you had a deadline to make so we wouldn't make it. Tara was throwing a party, I told her I didn't feel good because you stayed up all night and half the day working on a video. Last week we missed out on dinner, again, because you didn't pay attention to the time. Two weeks ago, Jake wanted us to go with him to one of his other friend's parties, but you decided to get on and stream. Do you want me to keep going?" You raise your brows and lean forward slightly, "Because I can."
Johnnie laughs, "So.. you're telling me that you couldn't just come to me an hour or so before and tell me to get off? You're just blaming me for every time you missed out on going when you could have just gone yourself?"
"You want me to go to dinner, for two..  alone?" You tilt your head back, "You are being so unbelievable right now."
You stand up and Johnnie's eyes follow you. Your hands go to your hips as you pace back and forth, "I'm trying to get you to understand that I want- I need time with you, too Johnnie."
"You get time with me, y/n. I don't understand why you're so worked up over me d-"
"Because it's all you fucking do Johnnie. You're always filming a video. Editing a video. Uploading a video. Something with a stupid video." You turn to face him, "I want to go out to dinner, enjoy time with just us. Do you think I want to go to parties alone? It's no fun when I don't have you there."
He sighs, looking down, "So.." he looks up at you, "You waited until it was what, twenty minutes or so after our reservation time to come in here and make a huge scene that could have been avoided?"
You laugh, mouth dropped open as you stare at him, "Are you ever going to actually listen to what I'm saying or am I just wasting my breath being a broken record?"
"I am listening, you're just not getting what I'm saying, y/n."
"No. Trust me. I get it. Loud and clear." You motion to his computer, "I'll just leave you to it then."
You turn to walk towards the door, reaching to open it but Johnnie's hand stops you, "Don't."
"Don't what? Leave so I can sit here in silence while you continue to do what got us here in the first place?" You turn your head to look at him and he shakes his head, "No."
He grabs your wrist, pulling you towards the bed, "Were done talking about this."
"No.. I don't think we a-"
He cuts you off with his lips on yours. His hands pull your waist into him, "We're done talking for right now."
"You can't ju-"
"Don't run your mouth anymore, and I won't run mine anymore." He kisses down your neck, "We can talk after we get all of this frustration out."
A smile creeps into your lips, even though you're still mad. But, no worries. Johnnie will take care of that for you right away.
"Fine." You give in, sitting down on the bed. You pull him with you, his body hovering over yours, "Shut me up."
He smirks, tilting his head, "Gladly." He sits up on his knees, taking off his shirt. His hands move to his belt and you sit up to replace his hands with your own.
You glance up at him as you undo his jeans, biting your lip as you anticipate what's about to happen.
He nods towards the floor and you pull your legs out from in between his and move, dropping to the floor as he stands up.
He pushes his jeans down, and you move over to him, pulling down his boxers before he sits down on the edge of the bed.
He leans back, holding his weight up with his hands as he watches you move in between his legs. He sucks in a sharp breath as you wrap your hand around his cock.
His eyes following you as you lean in, sticking your tongue out to lap at the head of it. He groans lowly, balling up the blanket in his fists, "Fuck."
You work him into your mouth, coating him with your spit as his jaw hangs slack, "That's it."
You lift your head, moving your hand up and down to coat him fully before leaning back in to bob your head up and down.
His eyes flutter shut as a moan escapes quietly.
You look up at him, dragging your tongue up the underside of his cock as you tilt your head back.
"All the way in, babe." Johnnie places a hand on the back of your head, gently nudging you to come back for more.
You lick your lips, leaning in to take his cock back into your mouth. You bob your head, working further and further down, until you can feel him in your throat.
He groans, stroking the back of your head as you hold yourself there. You squeeze your eyes shut, digging your nails into his thighs before you pop back off, glancing up at him before going back in.
You lift your head, bobbing your head slowly as your tongue flattens against his cock.
"Fuck. Why didn't we just do this first.." He gasps as you sink your head all the way onto him, groaning as bucks his hips slightly, "Fuck okay. Okay."
He lifts your head, cupping your cheeks as he nods to the bed, "Get undressed then lay down."
You move to your feet quickly, pulling your shirt over your head before fumbling to undo your pants. You kick them off, getting ready to climb onto the bed when Johnnie stops you.
"Ah, ah. Panties too, sweetheart."
You nod, pushing them down and kicking them off before finally climbing onto the bed. You turn, facing him as you sit down.
He moves up in front of you, leaning in to kiss your neck. He pushes your body back as he moves his over yours.
He kisses down your chest and over to your boob, taking your nipple between his teeth. You gasp as he bites down, hands moving to his hair to mess it up more, "J-Johnnie.."
You whine, slightly moving your hips, "Please."
He kisses back up, to your lips, moving to lay beside you. He rolls you over so you're laying on your side, hand sliding under your thigh to lift up your leg.
You bite your lip as his hand slides down your body, stopping at your clit to rub small circles onto it.
You arch your back away from his chest, "P-please."
He rests his chin against your head as he slides his fingers down to dip them inside of you, “We don’t need to argue.” His voice is light, quiet, “We should always just fuck it out..”
He slowly moves his fingers in and out, “And then talk. Doesn’t that sound much better?”
You nod, “Y-yeah. So much better.”
“That my girl.” He kisses your head and moves his hand to grab his cock, rubbing it against your pussy a few times before slowly slipping in, “Fuck.”
His arm slides over your waist, hold you to him as he pushes in. You tilt your head back and his lips meet your neck, sucking a spot which earns an even louder moan from you.
“Fuck..” you breathe out, “Johnnie..”
He groans lowly, tightening his grip as he starts to thrust. Your foot rests on his leg as you keep your leg raised, moaning with each of his thrusts.
You lay your hand on his arm, digging your nails in as his thrusts grow harder.
“F-fuck.” You whimper, “Keep going.”
He moans, digging his fingers into your skin, “You feel so fucking good.” He pulls you closer to him as you push your hips back, dragging your nails down his arm , “Yes, yes, yes!”
He pushed your body forward, sitting up and getting on his knees behind you. He pulls your hips up, quickly placing his cock back into you.
Your cheek rests against the bed as you moan, pulling the blanket as his thrusts go right back to being rough.
Your eyes roll back, a string of moans leaving your lips in a constant loudness.
You yelp out as his hand makes contact with your ass with a hard smack. He brings his leg up, giving his cock a new angle that drives you absolutely crazy.
“Such a good fucking girl.” He groans out as he tilts his head back. He brushes his hair from his face before reaching up to grab a handful of your hair.
You tilt your head back, lifting your self up onto your elbows, “F-fuck. Fuck.”
“Wait for me, baby.” Johnnie moans, “Almost there.”
He tugs your hair, pushing his cock all the way, pausing for a second before continuing to thrust, “Shit.”
He lets go of your hair, gripping your hips. You moan, trying hard not to cum like he wants. You push your hips back, whining out as he makes it harder, “P-please.”
Johnnie’s thrusts grow sloppy, “Cum for me.”
Not even the end of his words and you’ve already let go, becoming a whimpering, moaning mess under him as you squeeze his cock repeatedly.
A few seconds later, he pulls out, spilling his cum onto your lover back and ass.
“Fuck.” He strokes himself a few times before falling back and sitting down. You lay down, trying to control your breathing and he lays a hand on your thigh, “I’m sorry for not listening to you.”
“I’m sorry for coming off bitchy.” You laugh slightly, “I was just..” you pause for a second and sigh, “I let my frustration get the best of me.”
“I don’t blame you. I haven’t been fully with us lately, and I promise that..” he taps your leg with each word, “..right now, you have my attention whenever you want it.”
You turn your head to look at him, “You promise?” You hold out your pinky and he smiles as he wraps his around yours, “I promise.”
As Johnnie gets up to get something to wipe off with, Jake yells from the other side of door, “y/n? Do you need a hippopotamus?”
Johnnie looks at you super confused and you can’t help but laugh, “I’ll explain then.”
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
This is my first ever Johnnie one shot, so please let me know how you liked it! I’m interested to hear what you have to say!
Thank you for reading! Love you all! 🖤
Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
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goldenlikedayl1ght · 6 months
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the lakes - m. murdock
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a/n: hey guys so i've been struggling a lot with the fact that i might have hearing loss (i'm going to the doctor next week) and as always i am projecting, but i am not 100% sure everything in this fic is accurate and for that i apologize. but it's my little passion project and i hope you enjoy <3 as always, comments and reblogs are always loved and appreciated! warnings: hearing loss, hearing aids, tinnitus, reader struggling with being disabled, some parts are more vulnurable and don't have the reader being like overly confident in their disability, matt being soft, some suggestive behavior at the end, kissing, nicknames, pretty pg-13 honestly word count: 3.0k summary: your hearing aids run out of battery, and you're forced to struggle through a day of ringing ears and being deaf. matt helps, as he always does. pairing: matt murdock x hard of hearing!reader now playing: the lakes - taylor swift "take me to the lakes/where all the poets went to die/i don't belong/but my beloved, neither do you."
“Are you deaf?”
“What?”
You’re eighteen, home from college for the first time since fall break. Your family sits around for Thanksgiving, and there are so many people talking. There’s about thirteen people at this long dining room table, and they are all talking at once. You’re sitting next to your sister, but you can’t hear her well.
You know she’s speaking, and you’re sure you’re yelling, but you’re frustrated.
“I said, are you deaf? I repeated myself like, four times!”
You feel your face flush.
“Sorry, I didn’t hear you. You’re mumbling, and it’s loud in here.”
Your sister looks at you like you’re crazy.
“I’m right next to you, and I’m not mumbling. In fact, no one is yelling, either.”
You poke your fork at your sweet potatoes and feel hot, angry tears in your eyes as you avoid everyone’s gaze.
Your mom sits across from you, and frowns, planning to tell you to make an appointment at the student health center when you get back to campus.
She doesn’t even have to. You’ve booked one by the time she says it to you.
At the student health center, they administer a hearing test, and then refer you to a specialist for further testing. You call your mom, crying and she gently comforts you, before driving to the nearest bookstore and picking up a book on hearing impairments and a copy of ASL for Dummies.
At the specialist, they do another round of tests. Your doctor tells you that you do in fact have hearing issues and that you should come back in a year for more testing, to see if your hearing gets worse. For now, you get a doctor’s note that requires all your professors to take your hearing impairment into consideration. The process for getting that applied at your university is painful, and only gets worse through your years there.
Before you get to law school, your doctor tests you again, and tells you how your hearing has been decreasing in quality in the past few years. He says that you’ll need hearing aids to regulate it. You cry because you cannot afford that.
You get captioning accommodations throughout law school, as well as a note taker for certain classes that are entirely lecture based. You still try to take your own notes, but it frustrates you that suddenly you need all this help. Your own notes are incomprehensible and often miss key parts of the lecture as you sit for a few minutes trying to decipher what your professor had said a few minutes prior.
You go into corporate law after law school, choosing to stay out of court initially because you find yourself frustrated that you wouldn’t be able to process all of what’s going on due to the many voices.
You stay at this company long enough to get your hearing aids, long enough to pay your loans, and long enough to save up a good fund for your hearing aid needs.
You quit your job and get hired at Nelson, Murdock & Page as an interim while you decide what you want to do.
With your hearing aids, life isn’t so frustrating anymore. You find yourself enjoying casual chatter and not worrying about processing what your friends are saying. At family dinners, you take your hearing aids out when you’re mad at your family, to which your stepdad, another hearing aid user, always laughs.
And, despite the pay not being stellar at your job, you love it. You love working with people who need help, love fighting injustice, and you love your coworkers.
...
If only Matt Murdock would reciprocate your feelings towards him.
You’ve been dancing this dance for months. You come into work with coffee and stutter when you get to his doorway.
You wonder if he’ll ever know how desperately you want him.
You go about your days quietly, going to the bar with them at the end of a long week. You love your friends and find yourself hoping they know how much you love them.
Karen and Foggy, as well as Foggy’s fiancé, know about your hearing aids since they sit sort of clunkily on your ears.
You don’t tell Matt, though, not at first.
You know how bad it is, to not even tell your blind crush that you have hearing aids. But you’re embarrassed. It makes you sound like an old person even though you’re in your twenties.
But when Matt crawls into your window late at night, bleeding, you don’t even flinch as he crashes onto your floor behind you. You’re reading, your hearing aids out, and he’s unsure why you can’t hear him. Your heartbeat had no reaction, it’s like you don’t even realize he’s there.
He taps you on your shoulder and you turn quickly, and gasp, before starting to sign at him. Even in his disoriented state, he knows you’re doing something with your hands and moving your mouth. At first, he thinks that he might have stuff clogging his ears, but then he realizes you’re signing, probably because you think Daredevil isn’t blind.
He takes off his helmet.
“Matt?” You say, and it comes out a little louder than it should, because you can’t hear yourself to gage how loud you’re being.
He says something, and your gaze focuses on his mouth, where you can barely make out what he’s saying.
“I can’t hear you.” You say, softer now. You reach over to your bedside table and put your hearing aids on. By the time you look back, Matt has passed out on the ground. Oh fuck.
You get your first aid kit and begin to work on his wounds. When you’re done, you pull him onto your couch, now stained with his blood, and watch as he sleeps. Blood covers your hands, and you listen to him breathing.
When he wakes up that morning, you’re asleep on the couch, and when you feel him start to stir. You grab your hearing aids, and turn them on, before watching him wake.
He says your name softly, and you take his hand in yours.
“Hey.. You.. You’re Daredevil...”
“You’re deaf.”
“Hard of hearing. Not fully deaf, just… My right ear is a lot better than my left, but without my hearing aids I’m close to deaf, yeah…”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were Daredevil?”
“I was scared. Scared that… That you would view me differently, scared that you wouldn’t like me as much.”
“I was scared too..”
“When did you start losing your hearing?”
“In college. I realized it when I went home for Thanksgiving, and then it got worse from there..” You tell him. A hand reaches out to your face, and you lean into it, letting your cheek rest in his palm. His fingers trail up towards your ear and gently run his fingers over your hearing aid.
“Thanks for stitching me up.” He says softly.
“No problem.”
“The hearing aid does explain the buzzing I always hear when you’re around.”
“You can hear my hearing aids?”
“Apparently. I can hear a lot of things. I have heightened senses. You use pomegranate shampoo and had red velvet cake for dessert tonight. Your heart is racing.”
Your face flushes.
“I can turn them off if it’s bothering you.”
“How would you hear me, then?” He has a point.
“I just don’t want them to bother you.”
“Don’t offer to hide your disability just to make other people more comfortable.”
You kiss him when he says this, in a careful way. You’re gentle, making sure not to hurt him as you do. He lays there and lets you kiss him, his hands on your face. You realize you had no reason to be scared that Matt might reject you for your disability, because he is the only person in your everyday life who really gets how it is to have a disability that affects all aspects of your life.
You trace the healed scars on his skin as you kiss him gently, careful not to hurt him. You promise that you’ll kiss him more passionately when he isn’t freshly stitched up.
• • •
A few weeks passed after that night. You and Matt start seeing each other more and more as you fall deeper in love. You find it silly that you wasted so many days, afraid of talking to each other and maybe disappointing each other over the fact that you both lack a vital sense.
But Matt never views it that way. You wear hearing aids and it’s perfectly fine because most of the time, you aren’t struggling to hear him and cannot communicate with him, and he can’t see when you can’t hear him.
Instead, Matt loves that he can hear your hearing aids buzzing softly because it always alerts him that you’re there. He can hear your heartbeat and smell you, too, but it’s not quite the same as this soft little buzzing that reminds him often of a bee.
Except for this one day.
You slept over at Matt’s on a Thursday and really, you should have known better. You knew your hearing aids were going to need a battery change soon, but you’ve been so busy with work and with Matt, and worrying about him at night, that you’re tired. So tired that you forget to pick up batteries before your hearing aids die.
You sneak out of Matt’s apartment early, sending him a text that you needed to go get changed before work. Really, you want to avoid the fact that you wouldn’t be able to hear him. But he didn’t respond to your message. You decide that you don’t care at this moment and head out to work, debating the right way to tell your coworkers about your predicament.
When you get to work, Foggy is immediately talking to you, and you are tense.
“Foggy—” He’s not stopping. It sounds like he’s mumbling, and there’s this ringing in your ears. “Foggy, I can’t hear you.” He finally looks to you, and says something, you make it out to be a phrase of confusion. “My hearing aids died.” You tell him. You’re frustrated, and Matt isn’t in the office yet.
You deem this as a blessing and a curse. Foggy goes to tell Karen what’s going on and as you’re settling down for the day, you get a text. You hope it’s from Matt, but when you see Karen’s name, you falter slightly.
‘Hey! Foggy told me what was going on. We’ll have your calls redirected to one of us and you can spend the day doing housekeeping and paperwork.’
‘Thanks’, You respond, “Sorry about all this. I’m usually on top of my battery life.”
“Don’t worry about it. These things happen.”
“Still, thanks. Did you hear from Matt at all?”
“No, he probably just slept in late. He should be in soon.”
You try to ignore your anxieties over his absence even though you know that when he does come into the office, you’ll have to struggle to communicate with him all day.
So, for the first hour or so of your day, you try to get some work done but there’s a light ringing in your ears that’s getting worse and worse as you attempt to try and focus on other things. Everything sounds so muffled. You’re so focused that your teeth grind against each other, your muscles tense, as you attempt to try and block out the ringing in your ears.
You have a feeling that by the time you leave today, those hot frustrated tears will be threatening to pour once more.
You don’t hear Matt as he steps into your office and stands by your left side, where you’re almost completely deaf. He stands there for about ten minutes, trying to get your attention before he realizes the light buzzing of your hearing aids are not there.
You must not have them in.
So his hands find your shoulders gently, and instead of tensing, you actually relax under his touch, because you realize that it has to be Matt. A slight turning of your head confirms it and you lean into his touch.
Neither of you say much for a while, deciding to let your frustration slowly dissipate as you lean into his warm hands. They stay on your shoulders and upper arms, rubbing gentle patterns into your skin.
After a good ten minutes of this, his body shifts to your right side and he leans down, before speaking at full volume, maybe even a little louder, just to make sure you can hear him. It still sounds like he’s mumbling, but you can hear him.
“Forgot your hearing aids?”
“Batteries died.” You tell him. “You never answered me.”
“My phone died. I forgot my charger, too.. Are you gonna be okay to work all day?”
“Mhm..” You smile softly, “You’re gonna have to help answer calls, though.”
He kisses your cheek, and you lean into the warmth.
“Anything for you, sweetheart.” He says, a soft smile on his face.
The day goes by pretty much as you expect it. You spend it doing paperwork and dodging phone calls, your tinnitus gets worse as the day goes on. By the time the day is finally winding down, Karen sends you one final text.
“Matt’s staying a little late to catch up on some work. Want me to walk you home?”
“No, I’ll be fine. Thank you.”
You realize that because she and Foggy are heading home, you’ll be able to sit with Matt, maybe get a little bit of peace. You’re thankful, too, because you’re about to lose your mind over all of this. The ringing is just getting to be too much.
You wait a few minutes after Foggy and Karen head home before you go into Matt’s office. He smiles at you and gestures for you to come in, and you do. You lean against his desk, as he speaks loud enough now that you can hear him.
“I’ll just be a few more minutes, Bee.” Even the soft-spoken nickname doesn't get you out of your funk, too busy wanting to get on your hands and knees and beg God for your hearing back.
That doesn’t usually happen, but every once in a while you ask him for a normal life.
God sends you a blind man as your soulmate, because he must think that the whole thing is quite funny.
“Okay…”
You feel hot tears pooling in your eyes as you bite your tongue and dig your fingernails into your skin. You almost draw blood.
“What’s wrong?” He can tell that something is wrong. He can always tell, and you’re foolish to think anything less of him, and even more foolish to forget his super senses. A part of you bites back a bitter feeling, since you wish you could’ve had super smell, super sight, super taste, anything in exchange for your hearing. You were not given an exchange, only forced to give, with nothing in there for you.
You forget that your boyfriend has super senses and can taste and smell your salty tears and blood in the air. Damn him.
“Loud… Ringing in my ears, my tinnitus is always really bad when I don’t use my hearing aids for a while..” You say softly. “It’s just.. it really hurts...” You confess, tears slipping down your face.
“Sweetheart..” He takes off his glasses and rests them on the desk in front of him. “C’mere..” You can’t hear that last part, but the way he opens his arms gives you the hint.
You sit on his lap, burying your face in the crook of his neck with a shaky sigh. You feel the thumps of his heartbeat and hold onto it, the ringing in your ears slightly muffled by his skin. It doesn’t fix the problem, but it helps.
His hands linger on your body, gentle caresses of your knee or thigh happening here and there. He just wants you to know he’s there, in the same way he desires when everything becomes too much for him.
“”m sorry..” you say gently, and he just hushes you softly, kissing your head. He traces patterns into your skin. He traces words into it as well.
L-O-V-E.
S-W-E-E-T-H-E-A-R-T
He traces your name, his, and your last names.
You kiss him softly, realizing that you might never be 100% okay with your hearing, but Matt will help. He’ll understand. He loves you, and it’s enough to be confident in your future again.
You spend only a few minutes more in the office before you decide to head home, his hand never leaving yours.
You make it back to his apartment and Matt plugs his phone in in case you need to text him and get his attention. You wind up stealing a pair of sweatpants, a tee shirt, and a pair of fuzzy socks. The two of you wind up tangled together on his couch.
Your ear is pressed against his chest as he gently caresses your skin, occasionally moving your hair from your face. He mumbles sweet nothings, and while you can’t hear them, you feel the rumbling vibrations in his chest, and you relish in them. You bathe in the feeling of his heartbeat thumping against his skin.
You fall asleep like this, with Matt touching you and talking in this low tone to make sure you can feel the vibrations of his voice in his chest and in his throat. It’s enough just knowing he’s there. That this thing you thought would deem you unlovable is no match for Matt Murdock, who on your wedding day will throw up the sign for ‘I love you’ in ASL.
For Matt Murdock, who, when you’re taken for loving the devil, will find you and take you into his arms and kiss you so that you know he’s real.
For Matt Murdock, who touches you in all the right ways so you can hear the sounds of your own pleasure.
For Matt Murdock, who will gently trace patterns into your skin when you need to be grounded. For Matt Murdock, who feels himself slipping further and further in love with you and finds himself searching for the soft buzz of your hearing aids when you walk into the room.
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wonryllis · 5 months
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ENHYPEN MEETING THEIR LONG DISTANCE S/O FOR THE FIRST TIME.
────𝖺𝗅𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗄 𝗍𝗈𝗀𝖾𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅.
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( NOTES. ) enhypen as eager ducklings. fluff. fem!centered. revamp. lowercase intended. 1036wc. from my old acct. 𓈃 ๋ 𝐍𝐄𝐖 峠
𝒢𝓁𝒸 ─ LEE HEE-SEUNG. 이희승 spends the entire time after you tell him you’re coming in writing a perfect song for you. barely gets a blink of sleep the night before, keeps tossing and turning every second quite literally. re-reads your text conversations, and looks at the photos and videos of you that you shared. at the airport he has a board with your name in case you don’t recognize him with his mask on, his doe eyes are all wide to spot you from far away. honestly has probably learned half of the whole of your language to impress you. when you reach and he sees you, boy doesn’t even wait already rushing to hug you. cries as he rocks your body side to side and on the way back home keeps looking at you.
"you mean so much to me, i don't think i can stay away from you anymore,"
𝒢𝓁𝒸 ─ PARK JONG-SEONG. 박종성 gets and gives himself countless peptalks on how to not have an embarrassing episode. chooses his outfit, perfume, shoes, accessories everything he will have on very very carefully. is nervous to the point of pissing his pants, but forcefully keeps on a calm composure. he just wants to look perfect for you. definitely buys a sweet gift, and has it covered in a pretty wrapper with a handwritten letter inside. looks like a model waiting for you, hands in his pocket as he stands all tall with a cold expression. but the image is gone the moment you arrive, as he melts and gives you a big long kiss. holds onto your hand- has your fingers intertwined the whole ride back home.
"having you by my side is like the greatest gift ever, i hope i always have it,"
𝒢𝓁𝒸 ─ SIM JAE-YUN. 심재윤 is nervous since day one after he got to know you’re coming to meet him. calls you every night to talk about what you’re gonna do when you’re here. flirts a lot saying now that you’ll be together in real life for some time, he’s going to take full advantage of it. updates you on his every action on the day of your arrival even though he knows you can’t check your phone. takes out time to learn his favorite endearment terms in your language so that he can make you feel special. also please he’s not waiting, as soon as you’re in his line of sight, he’s sprinting to you, picking you up and twirling you in a hug like in the movies. attached at the hip to you the whole entire time. gives tons & all types of kisses until the day of your return.
"you're so much prettier in person, so beautiful and all mine,"
𝒢𝓁𝒸 ─ PARK SUNG-HOON. 박성훈 wakes up early to stand in the line and buy your favourite food from your favorite place. has all the members gathered to help him decide what he should wear, nitpicks on every detail. practices everyday what all he wants to say to you face to face, probably changes the wordings a lot. yet forgets everything when he lays his eyes on you as you come running to him. stumbles back a little before holding you tight against him. whispers how he missed you, almost cries, eyes brimming with tears and shuttering when trying to speak. stealing glances, and looking away smiling all shy now that you’re going to be next to him for a while. cannot for the love of god make eye contact, he malfunctions.
"you have no idea how much i love this right now and how much i love you,"
𝒢𝓁𝒸 ─ KIM SUN-WOO. 김선우 excited from the very beginning, prepares something handmade to give you. almost everyone he knows closely, knows that you’re coming, he just can’t stop talking about it. everyone at the airport can already guess that he’s waiting for someone special. practically screams your name before you run to each other and he’s squishing you a bone tight hug. showers your entire face with kisses, while squealing and asking if this real and you’re actually here. for sure you both cry saying how much you wanted to meet and now, finally. he absolutely cannot stop giggling and smiling with his eyes the entire time of your stay. does not bother acknowledging anyone that's not you.
"your smile is so cute, i feel so lucky to be the one you smile at,"
𝒢𝓁𝒸 ─ YANG JUNG-WON. 양정원 spends the entire morning at the flowershop picking out the perfect bouquet to show his love for you. also buys these little couple bracelet set he came across on the way to the airport. probably has a serious talk with heeseung or jake the night before. you bet jungwon's secretly learnt your language, has a big speech prepared in it. waits at the airport terminal looking like a soft bunny, breathing calm but exploding inside. noticing your figure, excitedly walks to the other side of the barrier, calling out your name with a smile. gives you the flowers then holds both of your hands as he speaks, small tears dropping. kisses your eyes when you start crying too.
"you're beyond precious to me, it feels like i'm addicted to you,"
𝒢𝓁𝒸 ─ NISHIMURA RI-KI. 西村力 so nervous he thinks he'll pass out any moment. asks for all kind of advice from everyone he knows and notes it down on his notes app. acts out a fake scenario in his head of how he's going to jump you, hug the hell out of you, pepper you with kisses and absolutely make it so cute without crying. but the moment he sees you, poor baby starts sobbing like anything. it's so overwhelming, walks up to you in quick steps and pulls you into a tight hug. nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck, apologizing for 'ruining' this but he just so happy that you're here. after he's calm down it's just a shy boy. takes you both a while to get rid of the shyness but it's all really cute honestly.
"no one has ever made me feel the way you do, you're really my special person,"
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TAGLIST ( open. ) @kangseulgithegreat . .
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youraverageaemondsimp · 7 months
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Obsessive tendencies. // Dark!Aemond Targaryen x Noble!Reader.
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MDNI, DD:DNE: reader discretion is advised.
block the tag #MAE:DARK!CONTENT to prevent seeing dark content posted from me
based on this request.
WARNINGS: noncon to dubcon, kidnapping, obsession, mind break, fingering, unprotected sex, p in v, breeding kink, rough sex(?), manhandling(?), multiple orgasms + not proofread.
WC: 2.1k
“Let me go please!” you cry, banging on the tightly shut and locked door, knowing damn well aemond can hear you from the other side. “No, I cannot, I'm sorry.” he apologises before you hear his footsteps, sounding more far away as the time passes, indicating that he had left.
You slide down the door in disbelief, hugging your knees as you wonder how you got yourself into this situation, locked in the highest tower of the keep, with metal bars on the windows to prevent you from jumping off.
Locked away in here like some kind of prisoner.
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It all started when you had first met Aemond on Aegon's coronation day, a joyous day for the house of the dragon as it put the uncertainty of the realm to rest at last, wondering who would be their leader between Aegon and Rhaenyra, until Viserys changed his mind and instilled Aegon as heir, and soon passed away later.
Their family dynamic was extremely off putting, but you never cared much about it, you were only there because your house had been invited for the grand dinner after the coronation.
That's when you had met Aemond, at first you did not think much of him, but the more you heard the ladies talk about him, the more curious you got, and so you decided to approach him first.
Big mistake.
He was shy, not really talkative and so you gave up, thinking to not bother him anymore, but what you were unaware of was that he had taken a liking to you.
He tried to approach you many times after that, but your meetings were cut short and constantly interrupted, as if fate was trying to warn you to get away from him.
But like a moth is attracted to a flame, you were pulled towards him, recognizing the efforts that he was trying to talk to you, you started to converse with him more often.
You should not have done that.
You remember announcing that you had to leave soon, as your family's stay had already extended due to political matters, and that was the first time you saw such a dark expression on his face.
You decided to ignore it.
But look where that bought you now.
Locked in a tower, by him.
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You sniffed as the tears streamed down your face, dripping down to your neck and you sighed, got up and went over to the bed before resting on it, preferring to cry on a soft silk sheeted bed rather than a hard floor.
You don't know how long it had been since he was gone, but you were woken up by the sound of the door unlocking, and you sat up straight, and there he stood, hands behind his back and a leg extended slightly, his eye on the table, and you turned your gaze to it. He had bought you food.
“Let me go.” you tell him, glaring up at him, but he just sighs and comes near you, you move backwards on the bed and he stops, looking down.
“I apologise, my lady. I know this isn't an ideal situation.” he begins and you scoff, “ideal situation? This is terrifying! Why are you doing this my prince?!” you shout at him, anger pouring out of you.
“I love you.” he suddenly says.
“Wh-what.” you're baffled, not expecting him to say that.
“My lady, I love you, I really do, to the point I had to resort to this, I cannot let you leave me. I apologise.” he speaks and silence falls between you two.
“If you truly love me, please let me go.” you tell him, you notice how his jaw slightly twitches, before he licks his lips to hydrate them, and then speaks up.
“I will do anything for you.”
“then let me-”
“Anything, except letting you go, I cannot do that, you're mine.” he inches towards and your eyes widen, “I want to marry you, and your father is refusing to accept my proposal, so i have to resort to this.” he tells you and you're confused but then he moves even closer, grabbing you by your shoulder and pushing you down on the bed.
Your eyes widen further as he gets on top of you, hands roaming down your bodice, pulling at the strings that hold it together, and that's when adrenaline courses through and you fight against him, thrashing in his grip, trying to get him off of you.
“Please let me go! I will convince my father to get us married, please, I'll pretend this never happened and we can live as you wish.” you plead, pushing his shoulders, and he stops his actions, you feel hope bloom in your chest, thinking that he'd accepted it, and will let you go, but the words that left his mouth proved otherwise.
“No, you will betray me and run away.”
The sound of the fabric of your dress ripping fills the room and you shriek, hands immediately flying towards your chest, crossing against your breasts to protect your dignity but he grabs both your hands and pins them to your sides, revealing your breasts to him.
He was too strong to fight against.
His lips find your neck, trailing kisses down to your collarbone, and to the valley between your breasts before nipping at the flesh, and taking your nipple in his mouth, tongue twirling around the bud, causing it to perk up in arousal.
He grabs the cloth of your dress, tearing it once again, but this time exposing the entirety of you, he pulls off the destroyed clothing and throws it to the side, and that's when you realise your hands were free once again, so you push him, and this time it actually works, cause he is caught off guard and falls onto his back next to your side, you try to make a run for it, but you're too late as he grabs you by your hand and pulls down unto the bed again, and straddles your waist to prevent you from escaping.
“Don't you fucking dare.” he growls into your ear and you whimper, and he moves down, undoing his breeches pulling out his cock and pumping into full hardness. Your eyes widen when you see his length, and the realisation that he was actually going to take your maidenhead.
He lines it up against your entrance, only slightly wet due to the pleasure of him suckling on your nipple before, you push against his shoulders, shaking your head, “Please Aemond, I'll marry you, I won't betray you, let me go.” you sobbingly plead, he was almost going to shove his cock inside of you with no preparation, but knowing how large he is, you will bleed way too much, so he instead of sheathing himself inside you, he instead cups your sex before parting your folds with his fingers, rubbing small circles against your clit.
This causes slither of pleasure to creep up in your body, making you gasp when you feel him pinch those bundle of nerves, you swallow thickly when his finger dips down towards your entrance, and he slowly inserts his fingers, making you squirm in discomfort, having something inside you for the first time.
At first it was only one finger, but then as he thrusts in and out and feels you loosen up, he adds another, curling them upwards, reaching that spongy part within you, making you moan, it doesn't go unnoticed so he tries searching for it again, and when he feels it, he presses against it causing you gasp and grab his hand by the wrist, he shoots you a smirk before his fingers are plunged inside you, curled upwards so it's hitting all the right spots, making you moan loudly.
You shouldn't be enjoying this, this situation is extremely fucked up, but you can't deny the fact that he's making you feel so fucking good, his fingers are paced painfully slow, “Ae-aemond please- faster.” you beg, knowing you are near your peak, you seem to have lost your mind, begging him to go faster? Your mind feels hazy and you whine when you feel him comply with your request, going faster, and then? You are seeing stars as your peak rips through you, causing you to arch your back and moan his name loudly, hand tightly clenching around his wrist, shutting your eyes tightly.
He withdraws his hand, making you miss something inside of it already, he deems that you're prepared enough and once again aligns his cock near your entrance, you wait with your legs spread apart, bracing for the pain, and he pushes himself inside slowly.
He groans, feeling pleasure when his cock slides in, every ridge of your wall holding him tightly and perfectly, as if he was the missing puzzle you desperately needed.
You on the other hand, clench your fists, nails digging into your own hands as the pain of intrusion burns like a hot flame, and unable to take the pain longer, you let out a sob, and aemond looks at you, caressing your face, and kissing your tears away, “Shhh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but you're doing so good for me, just bear it a little more longer okay? I will slide in fully.” and just as he said, he slid in fully, causing you to let out a border line shriek, which he had to cover with his own hand.
He didn't move, letting you adjust, and you tried to calm your breathing, trying to relax, eyes staring up at him as he hair curtains your face, he removed his hand from your mouth and your lips trembled, gasping when he started moving slowly.
He looks down, to where your bodies are connected and moans in delight when he sees your maiden-blood coating his cock, a sick satisfaction blooming in him as he watches it, knowing that he has ruined you, and no one would want you now. This makes him frantic and his thrusts pick up speed, plunging in and out of you at such a fast pace, making your face contort in pain as you desperately try to get adjust to him while also trying to take his harsh thrusts, and soon the burning sensation of pain goes away and it turns into something more pleasurable.
“Ae-aemond, slow down please.” you gasp, unable to keep up, body jolting up and down the bed, as the breath inside you gets constantly knocked out, “Fuck- I'm sorry, I can't.” he apologizes and continues to keep the pace stable, you grip the sheets below for support, wrapping your legs around him in an attempt to slow him down, but it doesn't work.
He leans down, kissing your lips, and then your neck and nipping at the flesh, finding the sensitive spot, making you tilt your head back and moan, your hand shoots up to his hair as he mouths your neck.
He pulls away, and focuses on his thrusts instead, rutting into you like an animal, thumb circling your clit to bring you to your peak before him, and he succeeds, because the next thing you feel is the tightened band in your stomach snapping at a high intensity, “Fuck!” you moan, head falling backwards, and you ride your orgasm out as he thrusts into you.
“God's, I am so close, going to cum inside you and seed you, you'd look so beautiful with my child in your belly—” he gasps, his thrusts becoming sloppier, “so full and round of me yeah? With my heir, and gods- when your tits will fill with milk to feed my babes, fuck, I'll have you many times, keep you full of my children.” he groans, closing his eyes, imagining you with his child, and that's when he snaps, spilling himself inside you with a loud moan.
He starts softening after a while, pulling out of you, unwrapping your legs from around his waist, as you look at him in hazy state, eyes droopy, he admires the view, your legs spread out with his seed leaking out of you, chest heaving up and down, hair messy and some of the drool escaping your mouth.
He kisses you once again, trailing it down to your stomach, and presses a firm kiss on your lower abdomen, before gently rubbing his hand against it. “I cannot wait for it to take root inside you. You'd give me as many heirs as I wish, won't you?” He asks and you don't reply, too tired to form words, eyes closing, drifting off to slumber when you're rudely awakened with a slap to your clit, making you shoot your eyes open at the pain, “Answer me.” he demands and you nod your head, “Yes my prince- as many as you want.” you reply weakly and he hums.
“Hmm, Sȳz riña.” (good girl.)
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piaduarte · 15 days
Text
Q & A
persisting, the 4D and letting go
Not so long ago I became stuck in a loop of wanting and waiting. Weeks passed by like minutes, and I was desperate to "get" what I "wanted"-- real desperate, I tell you. But one way or another, loops end. They do. Even if it doesn't seem like it in the moment, they always pass, and your higher self shines through. These are a couple of questions I had while at my lowest, and my answer to them now. Hope this post may be useful to someone!!
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"How do I persist even if I don't see anything?"
"You just persist" is what I've been told time and time again. "Yeah, but how?" is what I shot back. And silence followed. Paraphrasing, there's this quote by Einstein I've seen around here saying that, it's when you sit with yourself in the silence you're so desperate to fill up, when you stop looking for answers, that's when you get them. It doesn't matter how many times people here tell you to persist (to decide, to know it's yours) if, when you close the app, you forget everything and go right back to the old story. Why keep entretaining a story that you don't like? It's like if you're watching a really bad movie -- you can just turn it off.
You are able to persist. It's not something supernatural that only a handful of people can do. Everyone persists in something. You are persisting in the old story, for example. "B-But... Why??? Why is my subconscious doing this to me? I want to change!! I do!". This is so silly. Why are you mad at your subconscious? There's no 'good' or 'bad' (or 'ugly') story, that's just something you add the meaning to later. Your subconscious doesn't know the difference.
In the end, it all comes down to choosing. Just one final choice (do I even need to tell you that you're the creator of all? You must know by now). When you choose -- when you accept that you have it in the 4D once you imagine it, that's who you are. And once you've chosen, you cannot just give it up. You don't need proof in the 3D when the 4D is the only reality that should matter right now. Accept that you have it and move on. Creation is finished.
"And how do I convince myself it's set in stone?"
Close your eyes right now and imagine whatever it is that you "want". You can see it. You've just experienced it within, you can't deny that. That being said, you now know creation is finished. It's done. Done. Done. Done.
The 4D is the only true reality. It's the blueprint, nothing would exist in your 3D if it wasn't for it, your old assumptions, thoughts and ideas. For you. All you need and want already exists within you. Your desires are not separate from you, so you can experience them within; your mind is not separate from you, so you can change your old patterns; your 3D is not separate from you, so you can control it! You are the 3D and the 4D, just -- different, in another form.
The 3D is not real; it is a reflection of your mind! It may feel real, look real... But just because you see from it, not beyond it; the body is experiencing the 3D, but it's when you start to look at it from the 4D that you can understand that and take it in. All you need is the 4D. And, within, you've already experienced your desire, and you don't need anything else in order to experience materialization. It is set in stone if you decide it is -- so choose.
"I want to experience 'x' now. What do I do everyday in order to get it?"
No. There's no "getting". There's no "in order to". There's no "want". From the moment you get involved in the imaginal act, creation is finished, and 'x' is already experienced. Therefore, it's done. If you're not focusing on the end, but rather on the "I want", you're in a state of lack. Shift your state. Why not? It's not hard; you're in a state now. But I get it. You want the -- 'real' experience in the 3D? You want everyone on here to stop talking in riddles and tell you what to do, because random people on the internet have more power over you than... you? Aren't you tired of chasing? Of trying? Maybe not -- enough.
But seriously, if you "want" "it" "now", persist in the knowing and go to sleep. Tell yourself it's done and it's done. Persist in the old story and that's what you "get". Persisit in the new one, and your reality shifts. After all, "nothing changes if nothing changes". Don't allow any other thought to distract you from the end. Just -- don't. Thoughts come and go, and doubts will come as well; observe them and let them go. The end will materialize in the 3D because it has already materialized in the 4D. The inner man is your true you, so be him. Be unbothered by the neutral 3D and focus on living as the inner man.
"Is this fail-proof? How do I know I'm not just wishing my life away?"
It's real if you assume it is! Now get off this app and do something! Because, who's going to do it for you? Be the inner man and continue being! It will happen! Trust yourself. Trust. Why not?
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teaboot · 26 days
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Hi! (just a personal ask. Sorry if it's not okay to ask for advice out of nowhere but I wanted to see an outer perspective and didn't wanna ask my friends. No pressure to answer of course but I would love to hear your thoughts!)
Is it normal for me to feel overwhelmed about something I want? I am just starting med school and it's a lot but I am fighting. And in my culture, parents buy their daughters their like things?? (like towels and bed sheets and a fridge. Anything they can buy except the apartment basically) for marriage from a young age. But my mom just started recently. And when she first bought me something. The idea of getting married & being a doctor (both things I want) felt like too much I teared up. My mom said I was being spoilers I guess?? Like I was ruining a good moment? Of course it is not that serious since I wasn't outright crying, and I just laughed afterwards as I felt silly lol ,but It got me thinking if I was being that dramatic.
This honestly felt like the moment in the movie where the mom hugs her daughter and says something like "oh how much you've grown" . Her retort felt like it was out of the script.
If you find time to answer, please be extremely blunt. Because I know for a fact I have a tendency to exaggerate things.
You are not overreacting. You are not exagerrating things. And I'm going to tell you this, because I experience this, the tendency to downplay your own feelings and recollections of events very often comes from having other people do it to you first. People tell you your feelings are wrong, or stupid, or irrational, and you learn to listen to them instead of yourself.
It makes complete sense that coming up on a major cultural milestone would make you feel excited, or scared, or overwhelmed. It sounds like you came upon the first step of a very big change and the reality of it all hit you at once, which sounds completely normal and expected!
Fuck, *I* used to get that about moving houses, and YOU'RE expecting shit like marriage? Holy fuck! I'd be a complete mess! The fact that you're level-headed enough to ask questions and process your feelings and talk things through is impressive, because I think I'd be losing my mind.
Personal story, but when I turned 17, my mom asked me if I wanted to go to a restaurant to celebrate. When I told her that it sounded nice, but I'd rather have dinner at home with the family, she told me I was a selfish narcissist, and that I was so busy thinking of myself that I didn't consider that other people might have been excited to go out.
At the time, I thought she'd been harsh but ultimately correct.
Now, I see that she had decided what kind of perfect evening she had wanted, and had expected me to play the part in the movie she had written herself. It had never been about what I wanted at all- it had been about her personal desires and expectations.
And it's normal to feel frustrated about things that don't go the way we want or expect, but lashing out at others is not an appropriate way to handle those emotions.
The way we feel cannot be controlled like a machine. The way we feel is usually not a problem. The problem is what we do, and the choices we make based on those feelings.
Children throw tantrums and sat mean things because they haven't learned better yet. They don't have the practice or experience. Adults like your mother and mine should have that on lock, but often don't, especially if culture or tradition or social expectations tell them their actions are justified.
If I had to take take guess, I'd say it sounds like your mom gave you this gift with an idea in mind of how she wanted you to react. She probably wanted you to be grateful and praising and sweet, so she could fulfill the role she envisioned for herself, and when you deviated from that picture, she was disappointed. From that perspective, it would seem that she felt slighted, and that she was owed your gratitude, and you were at fault for withholding it.
This perspective makes sense, in an emotionally immature sort of way, but would completely overlook your feelings, which are just as important.
Your exact situation is not one I've been in before, but if I'm correct in my assumptions (which I may not be) then I'd suggest keeping an eye out for other instances of your perspective and feelings being minimized.
Are you often told you are behaving irrationally? That you're over-emotional? That you're self-centered or greedy or entitled? Are you told that you don't remember things or do things as you're told? That you see problems where there aren't any? That you male trouble where there is none? That certain conversations aren't worth having, or that "you're always like this"?
It sounds like you know that something is off. I'd encourage you to keep asking questions and follow your instincts. At the end of the day, your life is your own, no matter where it came from.
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just-j-really · 7 months
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"I just don't get it," Hob says, for the fifth or sixth or possibly twentieth time that night, glancing over the rim of his cup at Will, who's sitting on the other side of the room, cuddling with his soulmate in an armchair that's really too small for the both of them. "Why everyone's so hung up on soulmates."
It's all anyone's been able to talk about tonight- and sure, that's fair, it is Will and Ann's engagement party, but Hob has overheard the phrases 'oh you're so lucky you found each other so young' and 'why did you wait this long?' far too many times for one night. Will and Ann met as toddlers; they've never had another option and Hob cannot fathom why everyone seems to think that's a good thing.
Case in point, even his little group of Unmatched friends react to his statement with varying degrees of exasperation.
Hob is just sober enough to be aware he should probably shut up, and drunk enough that he keeps talking anyway. "I mean, I've seen 'soulmates'," he says. "My parents were soulmates, both my siblings met theirs, half of my friends are paired off by now. It's not like I don't know how soulmates work. Soulmates are..." he takes a moment, gathers his thoughts, and even though he's not entirely sure what he's about to say, the moment the word leaves his mouth he knows it's exactly right, "Stupid."
His friends laugh uncomfortably. "You're an idiot," Andrew says, not unkindly.
But Hob's on a roll now, an argument that's been simmering in his chest for years spilling out of him, the exhilaration of speaking making the words come easily. "You literally don't have to stay with your soulmate. No one has to! Everyone just goes along with it because everybody else does. But not me. I've made up my mind," he says, setting his cup down and straightening his shoulders. He's been bullshitting a bit but he means this, knows down to his bones that this is something worth staking his life on. "I'm going to meet someone perfect who isn't my soulmate, and I'll marry them instead."
He feels like he should do something solemn to mark this occasion. Stand up on a table, maybe.
Instead, most of his friends laugh at him again. "Hobs, that's the literal definition of your soulmate. Someone who's perfect for you," Gwen points out. The laughter is teasing, and Gwen's tone is more reassuring than anything else, but still, Hob finds himself frustrated.
"But there's so much more out there. So many people to fall in love with," he insists. "Shouldn't I know who's perfect for me better than anyone?"
And his friends tease him for somehow being sappily romantic in his opposition to sappy romance, and he laughs along with them and points out that his perfect person will be more understanding than them, for sure. And he's genuinely a bit hurt, but Gwen bumps his shoulder apologetically and he thinks that destiny has nothing on these friends he's made on purpose, who know him well enough for these unspoken gestures. And there's movement in the corner of his eye.
Hob looks up.
The most gorgeous man alive is standing in front of him. He's tall- probably taller than Hob, even- pale and willowy, with a mess of soft-looking black hair. His eyes are a deep blue Hob didn't think existed in real life until this moment. He looks like the slightly magical prince in a fairy tale got loose in the real world and decided to become a goth. He's perfect.
"Did I hear you say," the man asks, his voice soft and deep all at once, resonant in a way that Hob's never heard before, "you have no intention of meeting your soulmate?"
Not if he's you, Hob thinks, I take it all back if he's you.
Despite what many of his friends will argue, he is capable of not voicing every thought that comes into his head, if only under extreme circumstances, so he offers the stranger his best grin and says, "Yeah. Yeah, I do."
"You'll need to tell me how that works out, then," the man replies.
"Don't encourage him!" Andrew calls from the other side of their little cluster.
The man- flinches, just a little. Hob probably wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't been staring at him, but Hob's universe just gained a new center, so he is and he does.
"Hey," he says, catching the man's eyes, "Don't mind him, he's just boring. You really want to know how it goes, finding someone who isn't my soulmate?"
"I do," the man says, seriously, like he genuinely thinks Hob's quest is worth his full attention. It leaves Hob feeling warm, almost giddy.
"Perfect," Hob says, and then, because he's never known when to quit, "Let me give you my number, so I can update you?"
The man nods, a teasing little smirk appearing on his face, as though he and Hob already know each other perfectly, and this is a shared, ancient joke between the two of them. His fingers brush Hob's as he passes over his phone.
Nothing happens. There's no spark, no splash of color on Hob's skin marking where this stranger's fingers first dragged over his.
They are, definitively, not soulmates.
And Hob knows for certain that he's right.
[Part Two]
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malum-forev · 29 days
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Have Had You and Lost You
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I promise I'm uploading Dr.Bee pt 2 after this one, sorry to everyone who was expecting that one but I CANNOT GET OVER EX HUSBAND BUCKY.
"You'll find the juice boxes on the second shelf," You hurry around your kitchen, heels in one hand and your perfume in the other one. "He likes his juice decanted and he'll probably tell you he likes it room temperature but, Wells thinks room temperature means a little cold so you need to put one ice cube in his sippy cup."
Bucky nods, trying his hardest not to laugh. "Decant, room temperature. When did our five year old become a restaurant critic."
"Sometimes I'm afraid we made a mistake by letting him hang out at the Stark mansion." You laugh. "Every time I pick him up, he's learnt a new word and needs to use it at least three times in every sentence."
"Last time he was at my house he called Bluey exquisite." Bucky throws his head back with laughter. As soon as the sound hits your ears you truly feel, for a second, the world has stopped.
It's that same uninhibited laugh that made you fall in love with him all those years ago. You knew his years of torment had built a tall wall around his heart, and having him share these relaxed moments with you meant the world. That laugh was a special thing only the two of you shared.
But reality settled in once he asked the question you've been avoiding.
"So, who is he?"
Your bottom lip became trapped between your teeth as you thought how to answer his question. His blue eyes shifted all over your face, trying to read any expression you gave him.
Maybe you should have told him the truth but, you had been finally getting along after a long and tiresome divorce. So, you decided on a happy medium, no answer at all.
"Hmm," Bucky scratches the stubble on his chin. "You don't want to tell me his name."
"I never said that." You point out, feeling the vein on your temple throb.
"Your tell is a traitor," Bucky hums, running the back of his finger on your temple. "Maybe you don't want to tell me because I know him."
"He's no one." You turned away from him.
"You were never a good liar," Bucky says with a dry laugh. "So, I do know him."
"It's hard for you to not know someone in town, Buck."
"He's someone from around here, then." Bucky's eyebrows shot up.
He has to give it to the mystery man, never in his life did he think someone would have the balls to ask his ex wife on a date. Especially not someone who works in the compound.
Bucky and you had decided it would be best if you and Wells kept living close to him, so the change wouldn't affect your son too much. You'd decided on the town closest to the compound. A sleepy town, a couple of thousand habitants, mostly ex SHEILD agents and their families.
"You're really not going to tell me anything about the guy?"
You slip your heels on, keeping your lips shut.
"Is he a doctor? A nurse?" You roll your eyes.
He continues. "Is he in tech?"
"Better yet!" Bucky snaps his fingers like he's just had the idea of the century. "He's a trainee and I'm his direct superior. That would be the cherry on top."
"We've been on a couple of dates," You finally say something. "Three to be exact."
Bucky raises his eyebrows. "The coveted fourth date."
"Don't." You roll your eyes. "It's not like that."
"I'm not judging," He raises his arms in defense. "I understand you need to get your fix, we're all human, doll."
You groan.
"What?" Bucky comes closer, a sly smile playing on his lips. "You can talk about your sex life with me, darling. I'm not the jealous type."
"Bucky," You say, your tone warning. "you can't be the jealous type."
"There isn't anything here," You wave your finger between the two of you. "To be jealous of."
As you look back up at him, his smile seems forced. Bucky tries to keep his cool attitude up but, you know him too well to believe it.
"I left some money on the countertop so you can order pizza." You change the subject, feeling the air become tense.
"Don't treat me like I'm the sitter." Bucky scoffs. "Wells is my son too, and I can most certainly pay for a pizza."
"I- I" You stuttered. Trying to rack your brain for an apology, maybe explain that you didn't mean it like that but it was cut short by two honks coming from your driveway.
"He can't even ring the fucking doorbell," He scoffs again. "What a catch."
You turn and leave without speaking another word to your ex husband.
As hard as you tried, you couldn't get Bucky's words out of your head. It wasn't helping that your date was more interested in talking about himself and his recent promotion than even asking how your day went.
When had life become this way?
Once upon a time you were a woman who wouldn't settle for less than perfection and respect when looking for a man. You'd even walked out on a fair share of "New York's Elite", which usually meant men working in the finance district who think their dick is holy.
Which is why, when the ever so charming and chivalrous James Buchanan Barnes came into your life, you swore off stupid and unappreciative men.
Now, you're ordering your third glass of wine just so you can bare listening to the man you've accepted a fourth date from.
The dish you've ordered is now cold, and you're in no mood to listen to another word.
And just like that, your guardian angel answers your prayers.
Your phone lights up with a text from Bucky.
Bucky: Wells is fine, fed and asleep. Answer the call if you need to get out of the date.
Not even a few seconds later, your phone rings.
You barely have any time to decide whether you should do this or not. But your body reacts faster than your brain.
"Hello?" You answer shakily, holding a finger up to your date.
"Is he a field agent or a computers guy." Is the first thing Bucky says.
"Wells has a fever? Is he okay?" You say.
"That bad of a date, huh?" Bucky says through the receiver.
Bad date was an understatement. Your date couldn't care less that your son was feeling under the weather, he was too preoccupied looking over the dessert menu. But not even if hell froze over would you tell Bucky that!
"I think it's best if I come back home." You tell your date, getting up from your chair with your bag and coat in hand.
"Wait! One last guess!" Bucky says on the phone. "He's the guy who's in charge of sharpening my knives."
"I'll be there in fifteen minutes." You mutter, hanging up the phone and leaving your date behind.
By the time you're back home, Bucky's leaning on the door frame holding two glasses of wine, waiting for you.
You shut the taxi's door and walk past your ex husband and into your house.
"Not a single word." You warn as you pass by Bucky, taking both glasses. You down the first one and get started on the second one.
"Should I keep guessing who the mystery man is or..."
"He's part of Banner's research team," You groan throwing your head back. "There, happy?"
"Happy that the mother of my child is dating some loser who can't even come to the door for her?" Bucky raises his eyebrow. "Of course I'm not happy."
"Well not everyone has the 40's mentality Buck." You sigh, looking down at piece of pizza Bucky heated up for you.
"You're worth it." Bucky's eyes look crystal as they look at you. "All the roses and the dates and the opening of car doors, everything I did for you was because you're amazing and you're worth it."
Words escape your mind.
"I was too much of an idiot to let you go." Bucky looks down at the floor. "But please don't let anyone who won't take the time to cherish you, have you."
"Because to have had you, and lost you, is a pain only those who've truly love you have."
Comments, reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated! Would love to hear your feedback. K thankssss BRB writing Dr.Bee pt 2 as we speak.
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Waking up is never easy, luckly there was someone willing to help today. Jjok tackled your face.
Jjok: Sibling Mc! Good morning, how are you feeling?
Mc: What?
You were still grumpy from being woken up so suddently, but you rub the sleep out of your eyes and look at the little devil in your bed. Jjok was holding a black letter wrapped in a satin ribbon up to your face. "It's from His Majesty Lucifer." He was quick to answer the question in your mind. Opening it grants you a message written in a language you weren't familiar with, but still somehow understood.
"Dear Mc,
I would like us to continue bonding even after you have deemed me a suitable mate for you. Please meet with me at 12 PULANT ( Paradise Universal Latitudinal Abriviated Time) so we may discuss our arrangement further."
Even though he had no signiture, you could tell that it was Lucifer that wrote that letter to you. You recently decided to ask him to be your boyfriend and he accepted to your surprise. It was almost sweet to see him asking you out like that. You put the letter on your nightstand and laugh happily.
Jjok: You should get ready for His Majesty Lucifer. It's almost 12 in Paradise Lost and His Majesty doesn't like waiting.
You put on your prettiest clothes and ask Jjok to teleport you to the foreign land. Before your vision returns to you, you get tackle hugged by Gamigin. He was always the most excited about your presence and now that you were dating Lucifer, he considered you to be part of the familly.
Gamigin: MC! Oh, I see you're all good! You look stunning today! Did you use a new deodorant today, or maybe a new shampoo?
Marbas: Gamigin... Leave the poor human alone.
Gamigin: How can I? They're our new sibling! Aren't you guys excited as well?!
Mc: It's fine, Gamigin gives great hugs.
Gamigin: Really? You love my hugs? Then I won't let a day pass without embracing you.
It was a sweet scene between you two, but it eventually had to stop.
Buer: His Majesty Lucifer is still getting ready for today. Would you like a message in the meantime?
Mc: You're not scamming me out of my money again.
Buer: This one's on the house. How could I make my sweet sibling pay for one of my services?
Marbas: Does that mean that you were joking yesterday?
Buer: No, you still owe me 50 dollars.
Marbas: This is why we should stop accepting immigrants.
Gamigin: Techinicly speaking all of you are immigrants
Buer, Marbas, Morax: Shut up, Gamigin!
After the small squable between the four, you decide to take Buer's offer. He always gave the best messages which made you feel more relaxed than anything in the human world. If they didn't cost so much you would ask him to do it daily... maybe that's why he doesn't make them free.
After the message, you were dragged by Morax to his room. He wanted to give you a through medical check out, to make sure his new sibling has no problems. When you tell him that he should take care of himself more, he blushes and takes your hands in his.
Morax: Would you like to replace my bandages?
The look he gave you was nothing short of adoration as he brought a new roll of white bandages to you. He slowly takes the bandages off his arms revealing his closed and opened wounds. He teaches you how to take care of a wound just in case. After you finish bandaging him up again, he opens his arms for an embrace. Even though you cannot see it, a soft smile makes its way on his face.
When you're finally done with those two you meet up with Lucifer. Your dates mainly consist of you talking to him about random stuff while he plays with your hair. When you stop talking he caress your face and hums signalling you to continue.
Meanwhile, in the bushes, the Paradise Lost gang spys on you two.
Buer: Shh! Marbas, your wheels are too loud.
Marbas: Not louder than your voice.
Gamigin: Look, look! I think they might kiss!
Buer: What?! Pass me the binoculars!
Marbas: You don't have money to buy your own?
Buer: No, I spent it all buying a gag to shut you up.
Morax: Don't talk about your bedroom activities in front of the child!
Gamigin: AAAAAAAAAAAA
Gamigin starts screaming and shaking his hands violently. He starts bouncing on his knees and hitting the air, which, in turn, makes the bells of his staff jiggle wildly. Buer and Morax try to sush him down and hide him behind the bushes.
Gamigin: Did you see?! They kissed! With tongue!
Morax: Quiet down, Gamigin, we don't want to be seen.
Buer: We don't even know how his majesty would react if he found out we're spying on his date.
Marbas: They're... so pretty together.
Buer turns around and slaps Marbas' erection like turning off a lightswitch.
Buer: Pervert!
Marbas: Who are you calling a pervert you little shit! You're so lucky I'm tied up so often. The second I get released, I'll make Gamigin work overtime to reserect you.
Gamigin: Would you really kill your brother like that?
Marbas: ...you're on thin ice.
Meanwhile
Mc: Should we stop them from staring?
Lucifer: Only if they're bothering you.
Mc: ... ok then. So, we all thought it was the bite of '87-
When your date with Lucifer is over, you go looking for Gamigin which turns out to be an extremely easy task because he was in the bush right next to you and Lucifer.
Gamigin: Are you leaving so soon?
Mc: Yeah... I need to go to Gehenna.
Gamigin: Why though? We have a lot of spare bedrooms in Paradise Lost. You can even sleep with his majesty Lucifer!
Lucifer: Gamigin...
Gamigin: Ok ok fine. But make sure you return tomorow! We're having a family board game night with everyone in Paradise Lost.
With that, you bid your fairwell and return to Gehenna.
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sissylittlefeather · 11 days
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Hey @mysteriouslymagicalwolf! I definitely got carried away with this one and wrote a whole ass fic. I hope you enjoy it!
Birthday Girl
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, kissing, cussing, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), masturbation (m), ejaculation
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You're late.
You hate being late, but since you've become a mom, it seems like it gets harder and harder to get anywhere on time. And now with the divorce, it's even worse than before. Not only do you have to get Jeffrey ready to go, you have to try to convince him to stay with his dad.
Tonight was particularly difficult for some reason and it couldn't have been a worse night for Jeffrey to have a complete meltdown. It's your birthday, your 30th birthday, and you saved up for months for these tickets to Elvis's show in Houston. You don't really have any friends left, since most of them were wives of your husband's army buddies, so you decided to go alone.
It would've been fine. But you're late. And it's dark and he's half way through Bridge Over Troubled Water already and you cannot find your seat. The ushers have disappeared, so it's on you to find it but you just can't. The reality of everything in your life comes crashing down on you all at once and you just fall to your knees in the aisle and cry. You cry because you're alone, your husband doesn't love you anymore, your kid is melting down at every little thing, you've been looking forward to this concert for months and now you've missed half of it, you can't find your seat, and it's your goddamn birthday.
You're sitting in the aisle sobbing when the house lights come up. You look up suddenly, eyes red with tears, and somehow he sees you from the stage. The last thing you needed was to be noticed, much less by him, so you bury your face in your hands in shame and your shoulders quake with sobs.
"Honey, c'mere." Surely he isn't talking to you. "In the aisle, come up here. Y'all go get her."
He gestures for the security guards to go get you and bring you to him. When you realize what's going on, you're paralyzed and they have to half-carry you up to the stage.
"Bring her up." The security guards lift you so that he can reach you to talk to you from the stage. When he realizes how upset you are, he puts the mic on the ground and kneels down to be as close to your level as he can be.
"Honey, what's goin' on? Are you alright?" He speaks to you as softly as possible with the crowd noise. His voice is gentle and smooth. Elvis is used to fans falling apart when they see him, but he senses that this is different. You look up at him in shock.
"I-I'm fine."
"You don't look fine, sweetheart. What's got you so upset?" You take a deep breath and try to decide how much you should tell him. But then it all comes pouring out of you.
"It's my birthday. And I was late because my kid had a meltdown because he didn't want to stay with my ex and now I can't find my seat and I'm sorry I was just so excited to finally see you and I spent so much money and now I missed half the concert and I'm alone and it's my birthday and I'm so sorry to bother you."
He listens attentively and then reaches out to put his hand on your cheek, wiping away some of the tears with his thumb.
"You're not botherin' me, honey. Don't you worry about that. Here." He grabs the mic and turns to the wings of the stage. "Joe, get this girl a chair and put it on the front row."
"You really don't have to-" He puts the mic down to talk to you again while Joe fetches a chair and adds it to the front row for you.
"Yes, I do. You can sit in that seat. And also..." He reaches into his boot and pulls out a key, pressing it into your palm. "This is my hotel room key. I'm at the Hilton, room 1614. You come to me tonight and we'll celebrate. You deserve a real birthday."
"I can't take up your time like that-"
"You're not taking anything, honey, I'm offering it." He pulls the scarf from his neck, throws it around you and uses it to pull you into a kiss, pressing his lips against yours gently. "I have to get back to the show. I'll see you later."
He nods to the security guards, who lower you back to the ground and guide you to the chair Joe added for you. Elvis picks up the mic and goes right back into his concert. He makes eye contact with you throughout the rest of the show, like he's doing this just for you, even winking a couple of times. You blush every time, but your resolve gets stronger to go to his hotel and see him after the show. If nothing else, you have to thank him for taking the time to be kind to you.
******
After the show, you sit in your car in the parking lot of the Hilton trying to decide if this is crazy or amazing. Eventually, you come to the conclusion that it's a little of both, but you'd be stupid not to at least see what happens. Besides, it's your birthday. What do you really have to lose?
When you find yourself at the door, you're not sure what to do. You have a key, but just walking in seems rude. You settle for knocking and wait to see if he's there. After a few seconds, he opens the door still in his jumpsuit, but without the belt.
"Oh! It's you!" He closes the door quickly, leaving you outside. You stand there shocked, not sure if you should leave or stay. When you're just about to turn around and leave, he opens the door again. In his hand, he's holding a small plate with a cupcake on it, a single candle burning on top. He ushers you into the room and begins to sing Happy Birthday. You absolutely melt at his excitement. He gets to the part where he's supposed to say your name and stops, looking at you expectantly.
"Oh! Y/n."
"Happy birthday dear y/n. Happy birthday to you!" He finishes the song with a flourish and then holds the cupcake up for you to make a wish. You close your eyes and smile and then blow the candle out. He cheers and laughs and then sets the cupcake on the table.
"Happy birthday, baby." He puts his arm around your waist and kisses your cheek.
"Thank you. That was great." You turn and look up into his face and there's some kind of electricity building between you. You look down at the cupcake to break the tension, picking it up and pulling the candle out. He watches you with an amused look on his face as you take a bite. The icing gets all over your lips, so you run your tongue over the top and giggle. Something inside him flip flops when you do. For some reason, he finds you unbearably endearing. You miss a spot of icing on the side of your mouth, though.
"Oh, honey, you got..." He uses his thumb to wipe the side of your mouth and then licks the icing off. "That's pretty good."
You dip your finger in the icing and put it in your mouth. The icing is sweet and decadent and it's your favorite part of a cupcake anyway.
"Lemme get some more of that." You dip your finger in the icing again and offer it to him. He holds your hand and puts your finger in his mouth, sucking gently and sending a shiver down your spine. You feel your center get a little wetter with the sensation of his mouth around your finger. He backs off of you, but keeps holding your hand, opening your palm and pressing his lips there. Turning you towards him, he slips a hand around your back and pulls you in close to him. He speaks softly.
"I'd like to give you something else for your birthday, if you want it." He leans forward and kisses you deeply, parting your lips with his and sliding his tongue into your mouth. You sink into the kiss, letting your arms find their way around his neck. He pulls back a little, hovering with his lips just above yours, and whispers.
"I will go as far as you want me to. You can tell me to stop at any time. Otherwise, I'll just keep on going."
"Elvis?"
"Hmm?"
"Don't stop." You don't have to tell him twice. He dives back into kissing you passionately, his tongue dancing against yours. His hands roam over your body, touching your hips and your sides and your ass and your breasts. He reaches back behind your thighs and lifts you so that your legs are around his waist, carrying you over to the bed. He crawls onto the bed and lays you down, kissing your neck down to your cleavage. Moving down your body, he slides his hands up your thighs under your mini dress.
"Can I take this off?" You nod fervently.
"Yes, please." He slides his hands up your body and pulls your dress off, dropping it on the floor next to the bed. He kisses back down to the place where your bra meets the skin of your breast. Pulling it down a little, he exposes your nipple, dragging his tongue around it. His hand goes around behind your back to undo your bra and he removes that quickly too. He continues to explore and worship your body with his mouth and hands.
"You're so beautiful, honey." He kisses down your stomach to the top of your panties and whispers into your skin. "I wanna taste you."
You whimper and lift your hips as he hooks his fingers under the sides of your panties and drags them down your legs and off. Then, he unzips his jumpsuit all the way down, pulling out his rock hard cock. He lays with his head on the pillows and grabs your hips.
"C'mere, honey." You scoot over to him and he situates your hips over his face so that he has easy access to you. He uses one hand to guide your pussy down to his mouth and the other to stroke himself. Then, he pushes his tongue into you a few times before licking up to your clit and settling there. He drags his tongue over and around you eagerly, like your pussy is his last meal. He lets his tongue flick your clit softly for a bit before you groan and grind into his face. Then, he puts his whole tongue on you again, licking you hard. You feel the rush of your orgasm gathering in your hips as he stops stroking himself and uses two fingers to slide inside you and pump in and out quickly. He tickles your g-spot and continues to move his mouth on you.
"Oh, fuck, Elvis!" You moan loudly and slam your hand on the hotel room wall as you cum hard in his mouth. The vibrating ecstasy reverberates through you like bolts of electricity. But he doesn't stop. No, he just keeps on licking you and finger fucking you until you cum again a second time. When you try to pull off of him, he holds your thighs.
"No, honey, you got one more in ya. I'm gonna get you there." You whimper, sweat running down your chest. His hair is wet with sweat too, since he's still in his jumpsuit. You look down at him with his face buried in your pussy and he's beautiful with his eyes closed. He moves his hand back to his cock, where he pumps himself as he licks you. Your third orgasm slams into you, exploding in your veins like firecrackers and making your legs shake, knocking out the hearing in your left ear. You feel him shudder underneath you and realize that he's cumming too, shooting his release out onto his hand. Finally, his body relaxes with yours.
He can tell you're exhausted, so he releases your thighs, letting you fall sideways off of him to lay on the bed.
"Happy birthday, honey." His words slur a little from the use of his tongue. You look down at him where he's made a mess on his hand and the crotch of his jumpsuit.
"You didn't have to do that. I could've-"
"No, honey, tonight was about you. I didn't want you worryin' about me." You turn to look at him and he kisses your forehead. "Was that a good birthday?"
"I think that was the best birthday I've ever had."
"You wanna stay? I can give you more in the morning." You smile and nod.
"Under one condition, though."
"What is that?"
"Let me take care of you tomorrow." He smiles.
"I think I can make that happen."
"Good." You roll out of bed and get him a towel from the bathroom to clean himself up. He stands up to strip off the suit and you hear him groan.
"What?"
"I was supposed to wear this tomorrow night. And I made a mess of it." You laugh and lay down on the bed. He finishes taking the suit off and climbs into bed with you, pulling you in close to him and pressing his naked body against yours. "Worth it for my birthday girl."
He kisses your cheek and holds you as you both drift off to sleep.
Looks like wishes made on birthday candles do come true.
******
The End
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mxqdii · 8 months
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angst to fluff matt sturniolo but he's stubborn about talking it out with reader so it lasts long to the point where reader gets frustrated yk? maybe this is too specific 😭 also if u do this, do it however!!
did you mean it? - m.s
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pairings: matt sturniolo x reader
summary: matt accidentally says "i love you" and just pretends it never happened, leaving the reader sad and conflicted.
warning(s): angst, confession, crying? (idk help 😭)
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"this is why i fell in love with you" he says and i freeze
he loves me?
i look at him, blank expression on my face
(which is definitely not how my mind is reacting)
his face turns bright red
"you-" i start but get interrupted
"i didn't mean it like that" he says and i feel my heart drop
"oh, okay.." i say, almost in a whisper
my heart just shattered into a million pieces. matt, my boyfriend, the love of my life, doesn’t mean it like that.
we continue making dinner, the awkward silence filling the room.
suddenly nick and chris come downstairs, and for some reason i'm actually thankful for it.
they start talking to us but my mind is elsewhere, maybe it's my fault. i mean, i didn't say it back fast enough which could've caused matt to second guess, or he just didn't mean it, or-
"y/n you there?" nick says and i snap out of my thoughts
"yeah! yeah im here.." i say with a dry tone and a short smile
i'm too upset to be cheerful right now.
we finish making dinner and finish eating, which is when me and matt decide to watch a movie.
throughout the film, i noticed how matt started acting like nothing happend
i hate it.
i feel like we should at least talk about it, or like.. mention it again?
maybe it wasn't that big of a deal
maybe i should let it go
or maybe, matt is being stubborn.
"matt" i say, abruptly
"yes love?" he says and i feel shivers go down my spine
do i really wanna ruin this? now?
i just am so in my head i cannot leave things like that.
"i- uh.." my words get caught in my throat and i feel like i can't get out what i wanna say
maybe it's for the better.
"i'm gonna go, home- yeah." i say
"oh, okay." he answered
i quickly grab my keys and jacket, saying bye to nick and chris, then giving matt a quick hug and immediately leaving.
fuck fuck fuck, what do i even do.
i get home and feel a sense of lonliness, emptiness fill me.
i can't help but burst into tears
i messed up
i don't know why my mind immediately went to it being my fault, i guess that's just my instinct, matt was actually the one who noticed i always assumed things were my fault, so he would always reassure me thing's weren't.
after that whole situation earlier though, things are different this time.
the thought of matt makes me cry harder.
minutes pass, then hours, and suddenly its been a day.
it's currently 10pm, the last time i heard from matt was yesterday, when i left his house actually..
i've been crying all day just watching TV
i am a mess.
suddenly i get a knock on the door
i wipe my tears, running to the bathroom to make sure my nose and eyes arent red anymore (which thankfully arent)
i look fine, i look like i've been fine.
perfect.
i run back to the door, quickly opening it, knowing i've kept whoever waiting long enough
matt.
i go speechless, like, i literally don't have the words, and even if i did, i'm not sure what i'd say.
"you're a mess" he says, breaking the silence
"i'm not a mess" i exclaim and he looks down with a laugh
"i can tell you've been crying" he adds on, confirming his 'i'm a mess' comment.
fuck, this boy knows me too well.
i open the door wider, gesturing him to come in.
"so.. why are you here.." i ask and he turns around to face me
"because i'm stubborn and you're frustrated." he replies, causing me to look at him in confusion
"i've never lied to you, until last night. i do love you y/n, i should've said it but i just- i couldn't. and then i got scared and tried to ignore it, causing me to be distant. but every second we didn't talk i was thinking about it- i was thinking about you."
all this information is too much for my slow brain to process
"so you- you meant it? you love me?" i repeat and he steps closer to me
"yes y/n, i love you" he states and i smile
he puts his hands on my waist and kisses me
we pull away, still inches away from eachother
"i love you too matt."
TAGLIST:
@strniolo @stargirlv0id @annaisabookworm
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