#so I’m just tagging the goat bros

[yourlocalabomination]

*fingers aggressively gripping my thighs* Yea I think about that one sleazeball a normal amount.

#all I can say is that tinky possesed me for a hot second #scientist need to research the grip this man has on the gays #I’m a full on lesbian yet I’m gnawing at the bars of my enclosure #I’m going to fight tinky in a Sainsbury’s parking lot over him #ted spankoffski #theodore spankoffski #peter spankoffski #pete spankoffski #tinky #t’noy karaxis #I would tag everyone but it would take me over the 30 tags- #so I’m just tagging the goat bros #nightmare time #starkid nightmare time #hatchetfield nightmare time #nightmare time 2 #nmt #nmt2 #time bastard #starkid time bastard #time bastard nightmare time #the bastards box #team starkid #starkid #starkid fanart #fanart #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #hatchetfield universe #my art

[lewisvinga]

feline fine | alex albon x fem! reader

summary; alex and his veterinarian girlfriend soft launch using animal puns but no one could figure it out

fc; various girls on pinterest

warnings; ?

notes; requested! oh how i love to do smaus

taglist; @namgification

masterlist !

liked by landonorris, georgerussell63 and others

alex_albon: what do you call a pile of cats? a meowtain

username: the caption???

username: omg the kittens🥹🥹🥹

username: when he’s a cat person>>

georgerussell63: surprised rusty let her old him

alex_albon: rusty quite fond of her icl, i think it’s all the treat she buys for him

username: the cat in the last slide looks so grumpy 😭

landonorris: ask her if she can look at my pet

alex_albon: she says an picture of a jack russell terrier with george’s face on it is not a pet

username: she????

username: alex in his soft launch era??

liked by yourbestfriend, and others

yourusername: why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? too many cheetahs

username: the caption😭😭

yourbestfriend: both of you are so corny , i cant w u 😭

yourusername: hey ! i’m a vet! animal puns are mandatory !

yourbestfriend: but he’s not a vet?

yourusername: well …. that i can’t explain

username: HE??

username: swear i’ve seen those cats before…

username: the best vet itw 💗💗 liked by yourusername !

liked by logansargeant, landonorris, and others!

alex_albon: what do you call a dog magician? a labracadabrador!

username: the last picture…. WHO IS SHE??

username: another pet pun??😭

username: wait so alex has a gf??

logansargeant: so that’s why you asked me for a dog pun….

alex_albon: to be fair you also googled it

landonorris: buddy>>>

alex_albon: he behaved well at the vet, maybe it’s bc she was his doctor😌

landonorris: buddy the goat🐐

username: wait, alex’s gf is a vet??? who could she be???

liked by yourbestfriend, and others

yourusername: is your dog always tired? maybe it’s just a bit ruff around the edges.

username: WHO IS THAT MISS Y/N??

username: bro i need to know who ur dating

yourbestfriend: ew he’s shirtless

yourusername: i like him like this 🙎‍♀️

username: the puppies🥹🥹

username: definitely recommend going to her clinic!! my cat usually hates going to the vet but y/n made her feel so calm and safe!!❤️❤️ liked by yourusername

username: i hope he’s as good of a person as y/n is!!

username: AIFKSOFKSOCOSKXL

username: that man looks awfully familiar….

liked by yourusername, carmenmmundt, and others

alex_albon: are you a cat? because you’re feline fine

tagged; yourusername

yourusername: this is the best caption so far me thinks

alex_albon: thank u i used my brain for this 🤓

yourusername: love u bf❤️‍🔥

alex_albon: love u gf❤️‍🔥

username: wait… HES DATING Y/N?

username: should’ve seen this sooner bc they both kept posting animal puns out of no where😭😭😭

username: my faves are dating??😩

carmenmmundt: double date soon🙈

georgerussell63: no alex stinks

alex_albon: no george is smellier

yourusername: screw george and alex bby , me n u let’s go on a date🤭

carmenmmundt: better than a double date😫

alex_albon: no stealing my y/n.

username: feeling stupid now that i realize that y/n kept posting his pets on her insta with the same corny puns…..

#formula one x reader #f1 x reader #f1 smau #f1 scenario #formula one scenarios #f1 imagine #formula one imagines #formula one imagine #formula one social media au #f1 scenarios #alex albon x reader #alex albon smau #alex albon scenarios

[auggieblogs]

From mine to yours | Max Verstappen Instagram au

Max Verstappen x fem! reader

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ Max does not hide his blatant favouritism!!!

Author's note: HAPPY DIWALI TO EVERYONE CELEBRATING!!! I hope all of you are doing good. This smau is a service to all my brown girlies, (and @maxiepinkz) consider it a Diwali gift. Also, my non-brown girles, all of you can read it just for the funnies (I like to think I am hilarious). Anyway, I love you all so much. Happy reading, my loves🤍

―୨୧⋆ ˚masterlist

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 124,789 others

yourusername Happy Diwali🪔

tagged maxverstappen1

comments:

username parents if I may

username MAX VERSTAPPEN IN A BLACK KURTA THIS IS NOT A DRILL HSJAHDSG

username me and who

landonorris Diwali is my favourite festival actually

maxverstappen1 We'll send over the leftover sweets Lando, don't worry landonorris good because Oscar was worried oscarpiastri EXCUSE ME WHAT THE ACTUAL- yourusername It's okay Osc, we know it is actually Lando landonorris NUH UH

username Y/N, meri jaan<3 (Y/N my beloved)

username this could be us but you don't even know what is Diwali

username dear god when I get to hell please let me bring Y/N and Max

username Everyone should thank Y/N for getting Max out of his rbr merch bc he looks fucking delicious in that kurta

username Thank you Y/NNN username Thank uuuu, Y/N you're doing god's work username we owe you Y/N😭 yourusername You're welcome my bacchas mwah😘 (You're welcome my babies)

maxverstappen1 I love you kaafi zyada (I love you a lot)

yourusername more than redbull sugar-free? maxverstappen know your limits (yes)

username damn this making me feel a different typa lonley

martingarrix Sick party, sick music and I WON THAT GAME OF CARDS

yourusername Martin puh lease🤚🏼🙄

charles_leclerc I need that party playlist Y/N I'm begging

lewishamilton +1

lilymhe omg me too!!!

yourusername anything for my favourite lady🫶🏼

username Y/N making all the firangis (foreigners) dance on desi music like yessss queen reverse colonisation or something

username ik my goat

maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 450,314 others

maxverstappen1 Happy Diwali, from mine to yours❤️🪔

tagged yourusername

comments:

username this is heartwarming awh!!!

username snshsj I love them

sophiekumpen Beautiful, Y/N💕

*liked by maxverstappen1 and yourusername*

yourusername Thank you so much, Sophie🥰

username I absolutely adore the Diwali vibes✨

username he posted 6 pics and 3/6 of them is Y/N I AM ON THE FLOOR

username down horrendously

username can you blame him though???

username I genuinely understand.

yourusername I love you, Max. Kaafi zyada. Bohot zyada. HADD SE ZYADA. (I love you, Max. A lot. Like A LOT. Beyond limits)

maxverstappen1 And I love you usse bhi zyada (And I love you more)

yourusername sharm aa gyi mujhe hehe🤭 (I’m blushing)

username Max learning Hindi for Y/N can be something so personal

username his side quests are getting out of hands

username bro probably did it to impress the in-laws

yourusername he knows 3 languages, what’s one more?😼

maxverstappen1 I am a romantic like that actually😊

username pretty pretty

username nahh this mf keeps winning on and off track annoying asf🙄👎🏼 ( I love them so much)

username oh to celebrate Diwali with my white boyfriend😭🙏🏼

username jokes aside, I want to know what max looks like up close with that kurta on

yourusername rishta material fr🤤 (marriageable)

danielricciardo It's the way we all were at the celebration and you managed to post just Y/N.

maxverstappen1 I do not hide my favouritism

username my desi girllll

username Y/N is living all my f1 driver x desi reader fantasies and I love it for her

redbullracing Hopefully we're invited to the Diwali party next year😁

landonorris nahhh no way after the ladoo incident

alexalbon Y/N is going to pull out her hair😭

yourusername uhm I'm actually conflicted tbh.

username WHAT IS THE LADOO INCIDENT?

Diwali, also known as Deepavali, is a Hindu festival celebrated with great enthusiasm across India and various other parts of the world. It symbolizes the victory of light over darkness and good over evil. Diwali typically involves lighting oil lamps or diyas, decorating homes, exchanging gifts, and enjoying festive meals with family and friends. The festival holds cultural, religious, and social significance, promoting the spirit of joy, unity, and hope.

A ladoo (also spelt laddu) is a popular and traditional Indian sweet. It is a round-shaped sweet ball made from various ingredients, including flour, sugar, and ghee (clarified butter). Ladoos are often prepared during festivals, celebrations, and religious occasions in India. They are considered a symbol of good luck and are distributed as a gesture of joy.

Needless to say, it's my favourite time of the year😁

#formula 1 #f1 #max verstappen #red bull racing #f1 smau #f1 instagram au #max verstappen x y/n #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x female reader #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen one shot #f1 x female reader #f1 x you #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 x y/n #formula 1 x female reader #formula 1 fanfic #f1 fanfic #lando norris smau #max verstappen instagram au #max verstappen fluff #f1 social media au #desiblr #desi reader #happy diwali

[dangerouscommiesubversive]

WIP Wednesday

Got tagged by @materassassino while I was actively writing, which seemed like a sign, so here, have WIP bits!

From file "Meng Yao gets one of those time travel redo things":

“My mother has recently left Yunping, and is seeking more respectable employment. She heard that Madam Qin was a lover of music and wanted to offer her services here; she is a talented singer, and plays pipa.” When she didn't reply immediately, the boy continued with, “She is also a skilled painter, recites poetry tolerably well, plays weiqi, and is an excellent conversationalist, should Madam Qin desire simple companionship–”

Briefly stunned by the audacity of this proposal, Enhua found her voice again and said, slightly breathless with shock, “While her gift is certainly generous, her presumption is unwelcome, to think that I would bring someone of such a profession into my husband's house.”

The boy Meng Yao's back went stiff, but his tone remained even and pleasant. “That is…understandable, of course. But, ah.” He glanced from side to side, with an uncertainty almost charming on one so young. “May this one beg a moment to speak with Madam Qin more privately?”

Enhua stared at him, the back of her neck prickling again. More audacity, and yet. There must be some basis for it, and she found that she was desperate to find out what. “Shanmei,” she said, quietly, “take the guards and wait outside. Gao Die will remain to attend me.” At the shocked looks of both maids, she added an irritable, “I am perfectly capable of defending myself against an underfed child. Go, now.”

Once Shanmei and the guards were out of the room and the door closed behind them, Enhua nodded to Meng Yao, who stepped closer with another bow. His voice was so, so sweet and even, soft enough not to carry out of the room but clear enough that understanding him was no struggle at all. “While Madam Qin’s hesitance is understandable, as I said, my mother thought that she and Madam Qin might be able to find some common ground on which to build a real friendship.” A pause, and he took a deep breath before continuing. “After all, this Meng Yao and Madam Qin's daughter share a father in common.”

From file "wwx and xy":

There was a teenage boy sitting on the floor across from the bed, watching him with the kind of sharp, fire-eyed look that Wei Wuxian remembered seeing on the meaner street kids when he’d been on the streets himself. That was, Wei Wuxian realized, he was probably a teenager, and for that matter only probably a boy—his clothes fit poorly enough that his actual body was entirely concealed, and he looked underfed enough that he honestly could be any age from twelve to twenty-five. Honestly, there was a decent chance that he wasn’t even alive, just a hungry ghost in stolen clothes waiting to see if there was anything in him worth consuming.

He lifted his flute near his mouth, hating that his hands shook, and said, “Are you human?”

The boy’s dark eyes gleamed. “Gege asks fun questions. Depends on who you ask, but I think I’m human. I eat, I piss, I bleed. Seems human enough to me. What happened to your golden core?”

This little rat was a cultivator? “It’s gone. How did I get here?”

“Carried you. Thought you’d be heavy, but I’ve stolen live goats that weighed more’n you. How’d you get out of the Burial Mounds?”

“I didn’t. I brought them out with me.”

“Ooh, gege gives fun answers too.”

And from file "Moshang dating app matches":

“Hmph. I could get myself a service top with a fat rack if I wanted to.”

“No, you couldn't.”

“*sputtering* Why not?”

“Our temperaments are completely different.”

“How, bro?”

“I am regal. I have a manner that says, ‘bring me breakfast in bed and then give me a footrub while I eat and if that goes well maybe I’ll step on you later.’ You have the manner of a purse dog who does taxes.”

“Bro, I’m an accountant, obviously I do taxes.”

“You're only proving my point. Anyway, I have a natural poise that attracts service tops like catnip. You, on the other hand, have big wet eyes that say, ‘if you bully me, I’ll get an erection.’ We’re entirely different.”

“Hey!”

There are... more WIPs, but these ones have good pull quotes.

I am going to tag @redundare @timetoddddavis @stickers-on-a-laptop @ardatli and @sarah-yyy

#dangerous communist propaganda #snippets #wip wednesday

[dedenneblogs]

Grover X Beckendorf Headcanons:

- Grover hangs around Beckendorf. a lot. the satyr takes exuse he can get to tag along with percy when he’s hanging out with Charles and only does so to eat all the scrap metal they leave behind, which comes in mass when it comes to Beckendorf; he was a perfectionist in his younger years, so there we always failed prototypes for Grover to chew on. It annoyed Charles at first, but after a while and getting to know the goat boy better he actually liked Grover’s company (he even thought it was kind of cute whenever his new friend would snatch and scrap metals that came flying over his way - wait that’s kind of gay- (POSSIBLE FANFIC IDEA???)

- Charles always tries his best to send iris messages to percy when his friend is on quests. percy unfortunately doesn’t note them because they’re usually just hour long conversations between a percy at 3:00 am who’s unable to sleep and a Beckendorf awake in the afternoon (cause of time zones) talking about girls, video games, etc. one time he was caught by Chiron late at night but the iris message quickly dissolved into Chiron stealing Charle’s call to talk with Percy.

- Silena was one of the first people to really recognize Charle’s discarded work (other than Percy and sometimes Grover whenever he wouldn’t eat his scrap, Silena was just more persistent and interested in his projects). the funny thing is that most of the time she confused his inventions for other things. example: Beckendorf makes a homemade lunchbox that folds for extra storage on the inside (actually one of Grover’s favorites that Charles finalized later in his years and gifted it to Beckendor)? Silena: “Ooooo! Is that a makeup kit?” Really, they were more friends than lovers. Silena had feelings for Clarrise, and Beckendorf was starting to realize a lot about himself when it came to Grover. But wouldn’t it be fun? It’d be easier. It’s what was expected of them anyways. (WOW! i’m on a role with this doomed yaoi!)

- Charles looks like he benchpresses, but in reality? he’s…(shudders) a GA(Y)MER…

- Charles loves to play the drums. as a full homemade set he can fold and carry from his home and camp. also has steel drums ONLY for camp (Ms. B doesn’t like the sounds it makes, it gets annoying after awhile). Him and Grover have duets.

- Before Grover went out on his quest after book 1, Charles gifted him a cup that had “The Best Satyr Ever” written on it (gay???1!1?1!)

- Tyson could see how gay Charles was for Grover. he has a voice radar AND gaydar which is unfortunate for Beckendorf. one time almost outed him to the entire camp when he said something along the lines of “you homo for goat boy?” In his heart he’d rather Charles be homo for anyone BUT goat boy, but he’s accepting (can’t spell cyclops without W).

- in an alternative (better) universe, Charles is along for the ride in the Sea of Monsters! but it sad lemme explain to myself: basically like Clarrise is given her own quest but Chiron and Dionysus don’t trust her, but more importantly her father, so have Charles, Silena, and maybe a few other campers go out to keep and eye on her. Clarrise catches on and tries to kill them probably distracting her from another event and shit goes down the drain. but like in the end everyone makes up and these characters actually get screentime! yay! victory! (also probably carry’s Grover like a princess. it awakened something in the both of them

- Grover is crazy good at just dance. Charles made another wii and everyone suggested him to download new games. “Can you install Super Mario Bros Wii?” Percy pleaded. “Does this stupid console have Halo?” Clarrise interrogated. “Oh, I just love Just Dance, it’s just great, BLAHAHAHA!” Grover humored. Just Dance was on Charle’s second homemade wii in a matter of minutes, and in stayed in his cabin so that when they could, him and Grover could just be together as two (either way Charlie isn’t the best at Just Dancd, Grover is too good but Beckendorf doesn’t mind watching him).

- When Grover called Beckendorf Charles for the first time, he didn’t correct him. A few minutes later another camper called him Charlie and he corrected them.

#fyp #headcanon #hcs #percy jackon and the olympians #grover underwood #charles beckendorf #grover underwood x charles beckendorf #scrap metal shipping #silena beauregard #percy jackson #tyson pjo #clarrise la rue #yaoi

[qlala]

What is the Lore behind the song going to georgia? I listen to it on your lenny says you need new tech playlist and I like it, but have zero context as to why people in the tags of videos of it getting performed recently are like “he sang it voluntarily??????”

tbh i fully forgot i put that in the playlist, but the mountain goats are definitely up there with fall out boy in terms of bands that make copious amounts of “kinda fucked up relationship” songs that are perfect for coldflash playlists, so i’m not surprised at all

the lore behind going to georgia specially is that the lead singer wrote it like 30 years ago, and at the time thought the speaker of the song was making a big cool dramatic gesture:

but then after a while he got uncomfortable with really bro-y dudes coming up to him after shows and telling him it was their favorite song, and kept getting the feeling that a certain type of guy was taking it as a real, actual celebration of owning guns and tracking down women when they try to leave you (not what the song says is happening but you can imagine how someone would extrapolate)

so he started playing it less and less, but the thing is the song IS really good, so people kept shouting requests for him to play it at concerts, until he finally said in like 2012 that he just never wanted to play it again

BUT apparently this tour he’s been testing out playing it here and there, never on the setlist but just spur of the moment if the crowd is being chill and respectful, and at least at my show, he introduced it by telling the story of the bro-y dudes making him not want to play it for a long time, which i think is one of the least condescending ways possible to say “sometimes songs tell fictional stories, guns are bad, don’t stalk people”

#coldflash vibes because obviously armed stalking is just a canonical part of their little fucked up fictional relationship #and ‘the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway…’ gives me good post-oculus fix-it vibes

[baileys-writing-desk]

Animal Crossing: The Group Chat

The squad uses their NookPhones to make a group chat. Characters in the tags :)

Rep. McAllister created “the GOAT squad”

Rep. McAllister added bailey rose to the chat

bailey rose: First

Rep. McAllister: SHIT

bailey rose: ✌️

Rep. McAllister: I will DISOWN YOU

bailey rose: is this supposed to be a group chat??

bailey rose: because there’s only 2 of us

Rep. McAllister: IM WORKING ON IT HOLD ON

Rep. McAllister: im gonna add guilliver

bailey rose: you spelled his name wrong

Rep. McAllister: GODDAMMIT

Rep. McAllister added Gulliver to the chat

bailey rose: Gully, hoi

Rep. McAllister: Answer your phone Gulliver

Rep. McAllister added Wilbur and Orville to the chat

bailey rose: YOU ADDED YOUR EX TO THIS CHAT????

Rep. McAllister: SHUT UP WE’RE STILL FRIENDS

bailey: you haven’t talked in 4 months

Rep. McAllister: SHUSH

Wilbur: What’s up electric hair dryers, it’s your local leg warmer!!

bailey rose: Wilbur what are you on

Wilbur: I don’t do drugs.

bailey rose: ….

Wilbur: Hold on. I’ll grab Gully for ya.

Rep. McAllister: 👍

bailey rose: :)

Gulliver: What’s up, Skipper?

bailey rose: HOYA GULLIVER

Rep. McAllister: HIIIII BESTIE

Gulliver: wait….why are we goats

Wilbur: You don’t know what GOAT stands for??

bailey rose: WHAT????

Gulliver: IM SORRY I DONT KNOW

bailey rose: Greatest of all time

Gulliver: Ahhhh……I’m gonna cry in the corner from embarrassment.

Wilbur: Gully don’t.

Gulliver: 😭😭😭😭 I cri

Rep. McAllister: Nooooo guys, we made Gulliver cry!

Gulliver: Don’t worry, behind this phone I am not actually crying.

Wilbur: Phew.

bailey rose: guys why do u type in complete sentences this isn’t an english essay

Wilbur: Because that’s what I want to do.

Rep. McAllister: It’s professional. I am a leader.

Gulliver: yuo cna speel wurds ayn wey yoou watn adn stlil red teh stenence

Rep. McAllister: Gulliver, how much sleep did you get last night?

Gulliver: …..

Gulliver: At least five hours.

Wilbur: It was less than that.

Gulliver: NO! DONT CALL ME OUT!

bailey rose: 👀

Rep. McAllister: You were playing that snake game on Orville’s computer again, weren’t you?

Orville: WHAT??

Gulliver: I WAS TRYING TO BEAT MY HIGH SCORE!!!!!!

bailey rose: hi orville

Orville: Gulliver, I told you to go to bed by eleven.

Gulliver: I am adult now. I make the rules.

Orville: GULLIVER NO

Gulliver: 😏

bailey rose: gulliver you’re like always passed out, how do you function with less than FIVE HOURS OF SLEEP????

Gulliver: Coffee.

Wilbur: I just KNOW Gully is yawning in his room right now.

Gulliver: 😠

Orville: WAIT THATS WHERE MY COFFEE WENT

Gulliver: …..

Gulliver: oh no

Orville: I want to be mad at you, but I can’t because you’re too nice. So, no coffee for the next two days.

Gulliver: WHAT??????

Orville: You need to sleep more. And don’t steal my coffee.

Gulliver: I’m so sorry Orville, I was really tired this morning during my shift and I needed my coffeeeeee!!

bailey rose: this is fun to watch

Rep. McAllister: Agreed.

Orville: Wait…Allie is in this chat?

bailey rose: Bro Allie created this chat. 😂

Orville: …..

Orville: So anyways, I am a dumbass!

Gulliver: Me too!!

Wilbur: Me three!!

Rep. McAllister: Should’ve named this chat the Dumbass Squad.

bailey rose: don’t do that

Rep McAllister: you’re on thin ice bailey

Gulliver: Should we add Ketchup to this chat?

Rep. McAllister: I’m on it laddie!

Rep. McAllister added KETCHUP THE POP STAR to the chat

Gulliver: Wait what if we made a group chat with like the entire town????

Wilbur: Gully, that would be too many people for one group chat.

Gulliver: 🥺

Wilbur: Don’t puppy dog eyes me, Gully. That is Too Many People.

Gulliver: Fine. 😠

KETCHUP THE POP STAR: WHATS UP FELLAS I JUST GOT BACK FROM DANCE PRACTICE!!!! I AM GONNA BE THE BIGGEST POP STAR IN COZY BEACH JUST WATCH ME!!!!!! WHEN I’M FAMOUS IWILL

bailey rose: hi ketchup

KETCHUP THE POP STAR: I WILL GIVE ALL OF YALL MY AUTOGRAPHARAMA AND DIP OUT FOR MY PRIVATE JET AND GO OUT ON STAGE WITH BRIGHT LIGHTSAND D PARTTTYYYYYY!!!!

KETCHUP THE POP STAR: How are y’all doing????

Gulliver: Just fine, skipper!

KETCHUP THE POP STAR: Gulliver is in this chat? Awesomesauce!

Gulliver: I am indeed.

Wilbur: Gully has something to tell you.

Gulliver: NO! NO! DONT TELL HER

Rep. McAllister: Gulliver stayed up too late playing games on the computer again.

Gulliver: I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU.

KETCHUP THE POP STAR: Again?

KETCHUP THE POP STAR: So this wasn’t the first time?

Gulliver: It happened one other time.

Wilbur: It was more than that.

Gulliver: How DARE you??

KETCHUP THE POP STAR: GULLIVER GO TO BED TONIGHT.

Rep. McAllister: Yeah Gulliver, do it.

bailey rose: if we can get gulliver to go to bed at a reasonable time, we will get him cookies tomorrow.

Gulliver: COOKIES??

Gulliver: Hell yeah.

bailey rose: and gully if you stay up on the computer tonight, i’m gonna add tom nook to this chat.

Rep. McAllister: IF YOU ADD TOM NOOK TO THIS CHAT I WILL BREAK YOUR ANKLES

Tom Nook: Hello, this is Mr. Nook speaking, yes yes!

Rep. McAllister: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Rep. McAllister: HOW DID HE GET HERE?? I DIDNT EVEN ADD HIM!!!!!!!!

bailey rose: I DONT KNOW!!!!!!

Gulliver: o-o

Tom Nook: Is there a matter in which you need my assistance? Construction, perhaps?

Rep. McAllister: Hello, Mr. Nook. I apologize for our craziness in this group chat. I don’t know how you found your way in here, but all is well.

Tom Nook: I see. Do you want to build a bridge? Or maybe a new incline?

Rep. McAllister: I don’t want to build anything right now.

Tom Nook: But McAllister, I have striking new deals! 50% off on all bridges for two days! Normally a zen bridge would be 228,000 Bells, but now it’s 200,000 Bells!

bailey rose: …

Rep. McAllister: That’s not 50% off.

Tom Nook: Now, listen up PUNK.

Gulliver: oh-

Tom Nook: You want that bridge or not?

Rep. McAllister: Mr. Nook, you never call anyone a punk.

Wilbur: Guys, Orville’s been awfully quiet…

bailey rose: so have you, wil.

Wilbur: Besides the point. Orville isn’t in this chat anymore.

Gulliver: WHAT???? He left?? NOOOO, TOM NOOK KICKED HIM OUT!!!!!!

Rep. McAllister: Wait a second……

bailey rose: ……

Rep McAllister: That’s Orville! He changed his name and profile picture! You sneaker!

Tom Nook: Yes yes, I assume you don’t want that bridge.

Tom Nook has left the chat

Wilbur: That was Orville 100%. Nice job, y’all fell HARD.

Rep. McAllister: Ok, Wil, you don’t have to EXPOSE all of us now!

KETCHUP THE POP STAR: GULLIVER

Gulliver: Yes?

KETCHUP THE POP STAR: IF YOU GO TO BED TONIGHT I WILL DO A DANCE FOR YOU

Gulliver: I thought we already established that I am going to bed tonight?

Rep. McAllister: And he’s getting cookies.

KETCHUP THE POP STAR: I WANT A COOKIEEEEEEEEEE

Gulliver: Those are for me. But I can save you one.

KETCHUP THE POP STAR: YEEESSS I EAT THEM ALL

Gulliver: I said 1. ONE.

KETCHUP THE POP STAR: I EAT *IT*

Gulliver: 👍

bailey rose: can i have one too

Gulliver: Okay. Everybody gets ONE EACH. and the rest are for me.

Wilbur: Got it, Gully!

Rep. McAllister: Woo hoo, I get a cookie!

bailey rose: what about orville

Rep. McAllister: We’ll save him one.

Rep. McAllister added Orville to the chat

#gulliver #mia mcallister #bailey rose mcallister #wilbur #orville #tom nook #ketchup (villager) #bailey writes #kinda #different format lol #animal crossing fanfic au #cozy beach

[live-laugh-loverpool]

Text Conversation XVIII: Weird Managers’ Club Group Chat

Tags: @millythegoat, @millythegoat7, @alissonbecksfan234, @moomin279, @lfc-fanfiction

Boss: Good morning Jesse! 😁. How are you today?

boss: We just got eliminated from the League Cup, how do you think I’m feeling?

BOSS: Uh, guys…do you all realize that we’re all calling each other “boss”?

Boss: Good point, Patrick.

(BOSS has changed his name to TheNormalOne)

(BOSS has changed his name to Jessethe🐐)

(BOSS has changed his name to CrystalEagle🦅)

TheNormalOne: Well, that’s a lot better. Thanks Patrick.

CrystalEagle🦅: You’re welcome. Say, why are we chatting together again? We’re, you know, rivals

Jessethe🐐: I wanted to create a chat so we can hang out together. We passionate managers are so misunderstood here, y’all

TheNormalOne: 😑.

CrystalEagle🦅: 😑

Jessethe🐐: What?

TheNormalOne: You seriously used “y’all” in a text message?

Jessethe🐐: You punctuate EMOJIS!

TheNormalOne: It’s for a good cause!

Jessethe🐐: A cause for disaster

(LOOK INTO MY EYES has joined the chat.)

Look Into My Eyes: HELP ME I’M RUNNING AWAY

TheNormalOne: From what, Thomas?

Look Into My Eyes: FROM RESPONSIBILITY

Jessethe🐐: Seriously man?

CrystalEagle🦅: Hi, Thomas 👋

TheNormalOne: You guys are far too patient with him

Look Into My Eyes: Come on, Jurgen! So unfair

Jessethe🐐: GET LOST YA DIRTY ANIMAL

Look Into My Eyes: Look who has the ANIMAL emoji

Jessethe🐐: It’s a GOAT, simpleton

Look Into My Eyes: Are goats animals?

Jessethe🐐: BIRDS ARE ANIMALS TOO YA KNOW! ASK DARWIN

TheNormalOne: Do NOT bring my boys into this!!!

CrystalEagle🦅: Translation into American English: “do not bring my children into this”

Jessethe🐐: What the heck?! How many women did he—

CrystalEagle🦅: 😳 Do NOT finish that sentence, Jesse

TheNormalOne: NO! NOT LITERALLY MY KIDS! NO NO NO NO

Look Into My Eyes: And that, fellows, was an episode of Jurgen in Panic Mode

Jessethe🐐: Jurgen, I’m sorry…

TheNormalOne: Oh, it’s okay, no hard feelings Jesse.

Jessethe🐐: If you like guys and not women, it’s okay

Look Into My Eyes: 🤣

CrystalEagle🦅: Jurgen, he got you BAD 🤣

TheNormalOne: The boys aren’t biological to me! And that’s not what I meant!

Jessethe🐐: You literally joke about how good-looking your boys are to the press! If that’s not bringing up the vibes I don’t know what does

TheNormalOne: Okay, then. Not saying it’s true, but if I did have a man-friend, who would it be?

Jessethe🐐: Pep

Look Into My Eyes: Pep

CrystalEagle🦅: Pep

UltraBadViceBossNinja: Pep

TheNormalOne: HOLD UP PEP?! What are you doing here?!

UltraBadViceBossNinja: you asked for me and you got me

UltraBadViceBossNinja: i stealth-attached the chat

Jessethe🐐: Stealth-attached?

UltraBadViceBossNinja: Damn autocorrect, I meant stealth-attacked

TheNormalOne: Pep, language

UltraBadViceBossNinja: English, Dutch, Spanish and Portuguese, sir

Jessethe🐐: All of a sudden my English and German feels lame

CrystalEagle🦅: Jesse you speak German?

Jessethe🐐: Well duh Patrick, I was in Germany

CrystalEagle 🦅: All of a sudden I feel very stupid

TheNormalOne: Don’t worry, I know the feeling ✊. Raise a fist for solidarity for people who experience daily “oh, crap” moments

CrystalEagle🦅: ✊

Jessethe🐐: ✊

UltraBadViceBossNinja: ✊

Look Into My Eyes: ✊

TheNormalOne: Thomas, you’re not even managing right now

Look Into My Eyes: Thinking about my life is enough of an “oh crap” moment for me

TheNormalOne: Same bro, same.

Jessethe🐐: You don’t know half of what I have to go through. Patrick woke me up today with his rendition of “Single Ladies”

CrystalEagle🦅: 😱

TheNormalOne: He’s looking for a butt whooping, man.

Jessethe🐐: And to make things worse, Crysencio and Luis were reenacting the Holy Communion in the locker room, and Brenden was wrapped in white bedsheets as the human sacrifice

TheNormalOne: It’s just a stage of managerhood. My boys did that when they were younger, and they got over it

TheNormalOne: Well, most of them anyways

Jessethe🐐: And Luke put salt in my coffee

CrystalEagle🦅: Just like Connor did a year ago. I miss him 😭

Jessethe🐐: There now, Patrick, he’s in a better place

UltraBadViceBossNinja: Since when was Chelsea a better place than Crystal Palace?

Look Into My Eyes: Both of you are NOT helping

Look Into My Eyes: I took care of him Patrick, don’t worry

CrystalEagle🦅: I appreciate that 😥 But I’m worried about him under Graham. He looks so sad

TheNormalOne: If it helps, Patrick, I’ll ask Hendo to check on him during the World Cup

Jessethe🐐: I’ll ask Kalvin too. He left for City this summer but we still keep in touch

CrystalEagle🦅: Thanks, that’s really helpful

CrystalEagle🦅: On the subject of England, how’s Trentski?

TheNormalOne: We’re trying to keep his head above the water. The press certainly don’t help us out, but the boys are wonderful to each other and they’re boosting his confidence

TheNormalOne: The World Cup callup helps too 👍 Gareth also invited Harvey to come along so he can get an experience, and Fabio’s going with Harvey

Jessethe🐐: What about your training camp in Dubai?

UltraBadViceBossNinja: We’ll work something out

CrystalEagle🦅: Right then, I’d better get a move on. I’m still writing Jordan a song

TheNormalOne: You write songs for your boys?

CrystalEagle🦅: It’s how I show them some love 💙 ❤️

CrystalEagle🦅: I’ve got songs for Wilfried, Joachim, Connor, Vicente, Eberichi…

(THENORMALONE, LOOK INTO MY EYES, JESSETHE🐐 and ULTRABADVICEBOSSNINJA have all left the chat)

(CRYSTALEAGLE🦅 has ended the chat.)

#jurgen klopp #patrick vieira #jesse marsch #thomas tuchel #graham potter #conor gallagher #pep lijnders #wilfried zaha #joachim andersen #vicente guaita #eberichi eze #liverpool fc #lfc #liverpool #football blurb #soccer fanfiction by lynn #leeds united #lufc #crystal palace #cpfc #chelsea fc #chelsea #soccer skits #funny skits #skits #football incorrect quotes #incorrect football quotes #incorrect quotations #incorrect quotes #incorrect quote

[sammy-bear19]

DreamWorks>>>>> Disney BROOO I CAN AT LEAST AGREE WITH SOMETHING but DEATH is literally fucking DEATH itself, I love this character so much, goes to show how much DreamWorks can make any villian scary as hell🥰 down to his voice to his creepy whisper, just manages to send shivers up my spine bro, Puss in boots 2 is a S tier film for sure, like bruUUhhh please watch it whenever you can, the animation is so FANTASTIC AUGHH LIKE HOW CAN YOU DO SUCH BRUH😭😭 But like Aughh I literally fell in love with this film, like thank you so much DreamWorks for being a goated film company, fucking sobbing and dead as hell♥︎ Anywho, I drew Death so auhm, come after me I think and take my soul please please, I'm begging and on my kness, screaming, creaming, dreaming, whining, dying, throwing up, kicking feet🤭💙💕💙💕🥰💕 🐻💙 ○~•TAGS•~● #death #pussinboots #pussinboots2 #furryartwork #owo #uwu #òwó #deathart #wolf #grimreaper #simping https://www.instagram.com/p/Cne-1BJp3KI/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#death #pussinboots #pussinboots2 #furryartwork #owo #uwu #òwó #deathart #wolf #grimreaper #simping

[mrsalwayswrite]

Sinners and Saints (Sihtric x reader)

Summary: One day you stumble upon your childhood friend, Osferth, whom you have not seen in years. Yet the more time you spend with him, the more you find yourself drawn to his companion, Sihtric….and the butterflies his dark eyes give you.

This is my contribution to @emilyhufflepufftlk 100 followers challenge! Congratulations again! I’m so happy for you! 

My prompt was - "Love doesn't discriminate, between the sinners and the saints." - Lin-Manuel Miranda, Hamilton (in bold within the story)

Words: 5500

Warnings: A couple of swear words, fluff, my poor attempts at humor, Osferth being a good bro. 

Tag List: @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @flowers-in-your-hayr​

This gorgeous moodboard was made by @flowers-in-your-hayr​. All credit goes to her! 

"...so there she was, aye, and next thing I know, she flips 'er dress up and I see the most perfect set of…."

 "I'm going to be sick." Osferth mumbled to himself, trying to block out Finan's retelling of his prior night. To the laughter of his companions, he started to push away from the outdoor table at the alehouse. He was no virgin anymore, Finan and Uhtred had seen to that, but he still felt squeamish when listening to their stories of recent conquests. His mother's voice whispered in the back of his mind, things she had told him before her passing, about respect and love. Plus, he could not help but think that this idea of conquests, of women's worth derived from what pleasure a man could take from their bodies, was what brought bastards into this world….like him. 

 "Alright, Finan, we get it. You saw the arse of a goat and couldn't help yourself." Uhtred teased, slinging an arm around Osferth so he could not escape them- most likely to find a church and pray for their souls. 

 "Oi, lord! Ya know that was one time!" Finan feigned mock-outrage, making Uhtred and Sihtric laugh. 

 Osferth put a hand over his eyes as if that would somehow block the image from his mind. Something he desperately did not want there. 

 "How much longer are we here, lord?" Sihtric asked, changing the subject, while twirling a dagger between his hands fluidly. 

 Although Osferth would never admit it aloud, and God forgive him, it was hard not to be jealous of how easily his companions handled their weapons like they had been born with weapons in hand. They continued to tell him it was practice. Recently though, he decided it was a gift that he clearly did not have. 

 "Until I feel satisfied with the training of Lord Godwin's fyrd and his defenses." Uhtred stated indifferently, as if it was something he had to repeat to himself often. 

 "Ya think King Alfred knew how much of a horse's arse Lord Godwin is?"

 Uhtred glanced up, a tiny smirk on his lips. "Probably."

 "But he knew you were the man for the job." Osferth commented. Not necessarily to defend his father but to hopefully bolster Uhtred's confidence. "The men respect you, even if their lord fails to acknowledge his own respect."

 "The baby monk is right." Finan said. "What else needs to be done for the town?"

 Uhtred and Finan began discussing ideas and strategies, Sihtric adding an occasional comment but mostly just listening. 

 Osferth found his attention wandering, since this was an area outside of his expertise. His gaze drifted to the town and its residents who moved about to complete their duties under the midday sun. Their group had only been in this large town for two days and already Osferth was keen to return to Coccham. 

 From amidst the crowd, a familiar face caught his attention. The world tilted off its axis as his entire body went rigid, all his focus zeroed in on her. His heart hammered in his chest and the air whooshed from his lungs painfully. 

 "Y/n?" He muttered to himself, disbelief and shock clearly painted in his tone and on his face. 

 "Baby monk, ya alright?"

 Finan's words did even register, so consumed by the ghost before him. Rapidly, he slid off the bench, almost losing his footing when he went to stand, but pressed on, hurrying towards her. 

 "Y/n!" He called, an almost desperate tone in his yell. 

 When she did not turn around, he shouted louder. "Y/N!" 

 That time she paused, then slowly turned to find him standing still amongst those walking around him, a solid rock in a stream of people. He held his breath as he intently watched her expression, suddenly worried seeing him would not be as meaningful as he hoped. He could see her utter his name silently, eyes wide. Then in the next moment, she dropped the basket on her hip and ran towards him. He opened his arms just in time for her to collide with him, and with her embrace, a painful wave of nostalgia and guilt crashed over him with the strength of a tempest. 

 "It's really you." She finally whispered, peering at him in awe. 

 "Hi." He smiled, his own shock clouding his mind from forming coherent sentences.  

 Then to his surprise, she reared back and punched him in the arm. 

 "Ouch! What was that for?" He whined, rubbing the offended limb. 

 Throwing her hands in the air, they landed on her hips as her voice rose in anger. "For disappearing in the middle of the night without telling me!"

 "I did tell you."

 "That you were THINKING about leaving, not that you WERE leaving!" She reared back and punched him in the arm again, ignoring his pained cry as she continued to berate him. "I spent an entire day running around the monastery trying to find you only for Father Harold to finally pull me aside and tell me you left for Wincheaster." 

 And there was the heaping of guilt he knew he deserved. "I'm sorry….I just….I just knew if I didn't leave that night, then I never would."

 Her face softened at his quiet admission, understanding passing in her eyes. "I know. I wasn't truly surprised…. Just wish you'd have told me before."

 "I'm sorry."

 She sighed, all anger and frustration disappearing, much to his relief. She was a force to be reckoned with when truly in her fury. "So, what are you doing here?"

 "Ah, traveled here with the Lord Uhtred to assist Lord Godwin in his defenses….or something."

 "Uhtred? That Uhtred?"

 He smiled at her, catching the reverence in her tone. "That very one."

 "How did you find him? How did you join him? Wait! Are you a warrior now? We have a lot to talk about and you better get started." There went the hands on her hips again, making his smile widen at the image. Even as a young girl, when her hands were on her hips, you knew she meant business. 

 "Would you like to meet him first?"

 A shy look passed over her face that he was unused to seeing. "I'm…. I'm not presentable to meet a lord."

 He scanned her, noting the dried mud on the hem of her dress and shoes, the small smear of what looked like flour on her left temple. What he noticed most was how the years had made her even more beautiful. She had always been a pretty girl but now, she truly looked like a beautiful woman. A fact he was unsure of how to feel about. 

 He chuckled lightly after a moment. "Well, you certainly smell better than Lord Uhtred so I think it's fine."

 That caused her to tip her head back and laugh loudly, the desired effect of his comment. She gathered up her basket and walked next to Osferth, back to the table where his companions were. It was impossible to ignore their curious stares as they approached. 

 "Lord Uhtred, may I introduce y/n. Y/n, this is Lord Uhtred of Bebbanburg." Osferth said, standing next to her at the end of the table.

 Uhtred nodded graciously, clearly wondering why this woman mattered and why Osferth was introducing her. 

 "Oh, it's an honor to meet you!" Y/n gushed, a bright smile on her face. "Uncle Leofric told us so much about you, but I never thought I'd ever meet you in person."

 "Leofric?" That caught his lord's attention, his gaze narrowing and eyeing her with renewed interest. "How did you know that turd?"

 "When he came to visit Osferth, he'd tell us stories."

 "Ah….all exaggerated, of course." Uhtred said with a cocky smirk. 

 "Wait. I think we're missin' the most important thing here." Finan leaned forward, dark eyes bouncing between Osferth and her, as he pointed a finger at them, hand still wrapped around his cup. "Ya said 'Uncle Leofric'....are ya related to Osferth?"

 Osferth answered quickly. "No, her family owned the farm next to the monastery, so we grew up together." Then he furrowed his brows as a thought hit him. He had been so amazed to see his childhood best friend (only friend really) that he had not realized that she should be back at the farm and not in this town. "Wait, y/n, why are you here and not at the farm?"

 Her face crumpled for a brief second before she was able to mask it into a neutral expression. She shrugged casually, but he could read the subtle tension in the action. "We lost the farm, so mother and I came here to look for work."

 "Ah." There were so many things he wanted to ask but could tell now was not the right time. If she lived here, he would have plenty of time to hear the full story later. Instead he decided to change the subject. "So, you know Lord Uhtred, the others are Finan and Sihtric…. And Sihtric is also a bastard." He added as an afterthought. 

 That made her face light up as she turned to look at the Dane. "Hey, another bastard! We really need to start a club. We can all rant about how awful our fathers are."

 "You're a bastard?" Uhtred asked, shock evident in his voice. 

 "Yes, my lord. My mother was a servant for a lord. Got pregnant. The lord's wife did not like that so sent my pregnant mother back to her family. Certainly, it was our Lord's Will because how else would I have been able to grow up with Osferth?" She asked, patting him on the cheek affectionately. He blushed and swatted her hand away, much to the other's amusement. 

 "I reckon you have quite a few amusin' stories of growin' up with Osferth, eh?" Finan smirked. 

 "I might….but I don't share secrets for free." She matched his smirk with her own crooked smile. 

 He slapped his hand on the table. "I'll owe ya a drink! I need to 'ear this."

 "No….oh no, no, no." Osferth said but knew it was a lost cause before he even tried to deter them. The rest were already deciding when and where to meet that night. "Lord help me."

 "It's not that bad." She teased, bumping his arm with hers. "The worst one is when we went streaking naked through the monastery."

 Osferth felt his face heat up like the flames of hell itself as everyone laughed. "It was your idea."

 "Yeah, yeah, so you like to remind me." She smiled fondly. "Now, if I don't get back home, my mother is going to think I've run off with some man or I've been kidnapped. Either way, she will raise the fyrd herself to find me. I will see you all tonight."

 The others said their goodbyes but before she could step too far away, Osferth gently touched her arm, halting her movement. 

 "Y/n….I'm….I'm glad our paths have crossed once again."

 She pulled him into a tight embrace. "I am too, Osferth. I've missed you." With that, she turned and walked away with her basket still on her hip; but not without glancing over her shoulder at the group before disappearing around some buildings. 

 Once out of sight, Osferth sighed and turned back to his companions, only to see them all still staring intently in the direction she disappeared. 

 "No….y/n is off-limits to you fornicators." He stated firmly, well as firmly as he could be. 

 "She's very pretty…." Uhtred declared, a playful grin on his face. 

 "Lord, no. All of you, keep your hands off of her."

 "Or what?" Finan chuckled, eyes alight with mischief. "You'll fight us, baby monk?"

 "I will if I must."

 "Alright. Her dignity won't be tarnished." Uhtred lifted his cup in Osferth's direction. "Your reputation might be tonight depending on what stories she shares." 

 Osferth groaned, sitting back down next to his lord. "I'm going to need a lot of ale."

 "That can certainly be arranged!" Finan laughed, jovial once more. 

 As discussion started back up again, they all missed the silent, longing glance Sihtric snuck one last time in the direction she walked away….

 *****

 Over the next several weeks Lord Uhtred helped increase the defenses of the town and instructed the guards and fyrd how to better defend against the Danes. 

 During those weeks, you found yourself frequently spending time with Osferth and his companions. First it started off with meeting them in the evenings for ale, laughter and good company. Within days, it became almost expected for one of them to purposefully seek you out. Most of the time it was Osferth and Sihtric coming to join you in whatever your tasks for the day because they were bored or unwanted in meetings. It was not difficult to tell that although they were certainly welcomed members of Uhtred's group, not everyone else saw them in such a positive light. 

 So the three of you often passed the hours away together, waiting until evening to rejoin Uhtred and Finan at the alehouse. Their presence became such a regular occurrence that your mother practically adopted them, they even had their assigned seats at your small kitchen table for meals. Somehow, they seamlessly slipped into your daily life in a way that seemed like they were meant to be there this whole time. 

 Even at the alehouse in the evenings, you usually found yourself nestled between Osferth and Sihtric on the bench. A place you certainly found yourself enjoying more and more….especially next to the Dane. 

 Over the weeks, there was something growing between you and the Dane. It gradually revealed itself with each passing day, growing like the roots of an oak tree. It was through the borderline flirtatious comments that you teased each other with. It was in the subtle touches that caused butterflies in your stomach to dance, from your fingers barely gracing each other when passing something, to the way you leaned your head on his shoulder when your eyelids threatened to close, to the way your thighs would touch under the table and away from view of the others. It was in the lingering looks when your gazes locked and you swore you never wanted to look away. It was in the consistency of being next to one another whenever you could, either sitting at a table or just walking down the street, almost like your bodies were magnetized to one another's. 

 Plus the more you talked to Sihtric, the more you desired to know about him. For he was like no other man you had ever met. 

 Almost a fortnight after you reunited with Osferth, there was one particular evening after staying out far too late with the four men and drinking a bit too much, Sihtric graciously offered to walk you back home. You knew propriety demanded Osferth should be the one to escort you but he was already passed out, head on the table and snores emitting from his mouth. Giggling at your childhood friend, you accepted Sihtric's offer and the two of you easily fell into step. 

 On the walk you learned more about his past, about going up in Dunholm and his cruel father. You had heard bits and pieces while with Osferth and the others. Maybe it was under the cover of darkness, maybe it was the extra ale flowing through both of your blood, but he confessed secrets to you he had never told another besides his mother. When you reached your home, before he could slip away, you clutched his arm and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. After, you bid him goodnight and slipped inside your humble home. 

 After that night, he always walked you home, sometimes alone and sometimes one of the others would join. But when it was just you two, when you were alone, you would bid him a goodnight with a kiss on the cheek or he would kiss your hand, locking eyes with you in a way that made a fire stir in your belly and your core clench. 

 There was definitely something between the two of you, but neither seemed able to verbalize it or take the next step. 

 *****

 "So, what is going on between you and Cedric?" 

 You turned your head to look at Osferth, who laid on the grass next to you, soaking in the heat of the early afternoon sun. "What?"

 "You know….that blacksmith. The one you were talking to the other day."

 "Oh." The memory hit you. You had stopped by to drop off your mother's damaged cooking pot for Cedric to attempt in fixing, although you personally thought it was a helpless cause. The dent in it was significant, but he offered to see what he could do. As you dropped it off at his workshop, the two of you began discussing an approaching saint's day and the celebration that would occur with it. 

 Several minutes later, you heard your name called and looked over to see Osferth and Sihtric walking towards you. You bid Cedric a farewell, promising to stop by the next day to come pick up the pot. After receiving his promise to try his best at fixing it, you headed off towards the stables with your fellow bastards. At the time, you had not thought the encounter significant but with it happening two days ago and Osferth now bringing it up, you wondered how long he had been ruminating on it. 

 Finally, you simply said, "he's a good man, and has been kind to my mother and I since we arrived here."

 "Is he….pursuing you?" Osferth turned his head to scrutinize you, his lips pursed slightly as if concerned about your answer. 

 You openly laughed at the notion. "No, that's silly. He is just a kind man."

 If anything, you had to fend off flirtatious advancements from some of the young men that worked under Cedric. Those same young men quickly learned to keep their eyes on their work and mouths shut. When one openly called out to you, and before you could offer a sharp retort, Cedric threw a hammer at him from across the shop. He bellowed that he did not allow heathens to work for him and if they chose to act godless then they needed to find a new place of work. Their blatant interest diminished after that and Cedric made a point to be the only one that conversed with you if you came to the shop. Although he was easily ten years your senior, you found him a likeable man with a quick wit and sarcastic comments that occasionally left you in stitches. 

 The idea of him pursuing you was an amusing idea. He was still a bachelor, never having married, claiming that his work and apprentices kept him far too busy for much else. 

 Your answer appeared to satisfy Osferth. A thoughtful look crossed his face and he opened his mouth as if to speak, but immediately slowly closed it and turned his head back to stare at the blue sky. 

 A stillness settled after your answer, only interrupted by the frequent bird song and the wind through the tall grass. You closed your eyes, enjoying the sun's warmth and just lying around relaxing on the hill outside of the town, away from the hustle and bustle and chores that demanded your attention.  

 "He was watching you like a man who wants a woman." Sihtric stated after a couple minutes of peaceful silence. 

 Startled by his sour tone, you shifted up to look over at the Dane. He sat on the other side of Osferth, one leg propped up and an arm casually slung over it, but his gaze was focused straight ahead, staring off into the distance. Now that you thought about it, over the past two days Sihtric had become more reserved and sullen than you had ever seen. Even his companions commented on it a few times to which he would shrug his shoulders or make an excuse and walk away. You had thought he just missed Coccham, the group having been away for so long, or something happened that made him introspective. It had also not escaped your notice how the prior closeness between you two had halted. Now you wondered if there was something more to his demeanor.  

 "Well, that is most unfortunate for him since I am not interested in him."

 "Does your mother not want you to marry?" Osferth asked, his voice deceptively neutral. 

 Sighing, you leaned back on your hands. Eventually you knew Osferth would bring up the topic, he was your friend after all and you were certainly of marriageable age. Actually far too old to not be married by some people's standards, but you ignored them. "She does but she has told me that she will not force it upon me. She said I should make my own choice….that if I am able, I should choose love."

 You knew your mother offered you that choice in hopes your life would turn out differently than her own. 

 "But if Cedric is a good, kind man….could you not love him….or someone like him?" Osferth pressed. 

 "Perhaps. There are plenty of men I have seen who the church would call a 'good' man but are cruel in their own home, and there are many men who are calloused but it's obvious they love their wife and children. My love doesn't discriminate, between the sinners and the saints. I would rather choose a man whom I know loves and cares for me than a man I know is 'good' but carries no love in his heart." You paused, the candid confession rolling off your tongue before you realized it. Sighing, you ran a hand over your hair before quietly saying. "I just….I just want someone that loves me….sinner or saint."

 Not a word was spoken as all three contemplated your statement, the silence hanging heavy like a brewing storm. Tilting your face to the sky, unable to meet the gazes of your companions, you chastised yourself for the candor with which you spoke. Osferth had asked a simple question initially and you chose to make it complicated. They did not need to know how you longed for love, how the hope for it in your potential future was what kept you going. It was foolish and you supposed after this, they would only see you as a silly girl with outlandish dreams of a storybook romance. 

 Finally, Osferth broke the silence. "Well, I shall be praying fervently for this man….hopefully he knows what he is getting into before he marries you."

 You laughed, appreciating his lighthearted comment. Reaching a hand out to smack Osferth's arm, you teased. "Keep that up and you won't be invited to my wedding."

 "Your mother will let me in."

 "Yeah, you're probably right." You glanced over in the direction of the town, regretting that your time away had to end. "I need to head back, those chores won't finish themselves."

 The three of you headed back to the town, quiet contemplation cloaking your group. Yet you feared that whatever spark lay between you and the Dane had been extinguished forever by your unexpected honesty. For still he refused to look your way, keeping his gaze focused forward. If your heart fissured within your chest, you swallowed down the pain. It was better for the spark to die out now then burn brightly only to be smothered later. 

 Or at least that was what you told yourself. 

 *****

 "What you said….about the sinners and the saints…."

 You whirled around, heart leaping into your throat with a silent scream on your tongue. In the small herb garden behind your house, you had thought you were alone. After the awkward conversation on the hill earlier that day, you sought solace in your chores. Thankfully Osferth and Sihtric headed back to meet with their companions on their own accord, leaving you to trudge through your muddled thoughts with all the grace of a newborn foal. 

 Now you found the very person who your thoughts centered on, standing just a few paces from you….and your heart began to race for a very different reason. 

 When his voice trailed off, those dark eyes that set fire licking through your veins dropped to the ground, you quietly stood up from where you had knelt, wiping the dirt from your hands, although you moved no closer. 

 "Sihtric?" You tried to prompt him. 

 "Is it true?" His piercing gaze lifted to meet yours, stealing the very breath from your lungs. "Your love doesn't discriminate?"

 "Yes." You breathed out. 

 He nodded silently before taking a step closer to you. "And what about….what about Danes?"

 Your chest pulled tight at his words, yet a coy smile grew on your lips. The flutter in your belly made your gaze drop for a moment as you tried to stifle the excitement making butterflies dance. Although this was no declaration, it was the closest the two of you had talked about what lay between you. Taking a steadying breath, you prayed this moment would not pass by without confessing the truth that you had harbored in your heart for weeks now. 

 "Not even towards Danes." You shook your head, the smile still on your lips. "And…. There is one I'm becoming quite fond of lately."

 "Yeah?" He took two steps closer, somehow moving cautiously but eating the ground with each determined step. 

 "But….do you think this Dane could be….fond of me?" You softly murmured, feeling as if your heart lay in the palms of your hands for all to see. 

 That last step separating you two disappeared almost before you finished asking your question. His hands ever so gently reached over to take yours, entwining your fingers together. The two of you stood so close, your chests almost touched with each breath you took. Your breathing seemed to cease under the intensity of his gaze and a shiver raced up your spine. Yet you had no desire to withdraw from him.

 "He would be a fool not to." He whispered, the barest hint of a tremble in his voice. "I'd bet you are constantly on this Dane's mind. That he cannot go a day without seeing your face and hearing your laugh. You are the first thought that he wakes to and the reason he falls asleep with a smile. That you have become the north star that it seems the gods have been guiding him towards for his whole life."

  As he spoke, everything faded to oblivion around you. The past and future vanished. Dane versus Saxon disappeared. The world narrowed down to this….this moment….this moment that you had dreamt of but never thought would come true. 

 The two of you continued to stand there, lost in one another's eyes with fingers intertwined. Your heart raced within your chest but a cooling breeze swept away the fears that plagued your mind. For staring at him, you knew he spoke no falsehoods. That he owned your heart just as much as you owned his. That very heart you could feel hammering away in his own chest. His eyes fervently held yours, a silent conversation, a confession, spoken only in looks but you both understood the language. His gaze dipped down to your lips, tracing them before slowly rising once again to your eyes. A curl of pleasure blossomed in your core as you witnessed the fire now in his eyes. 

 "If this Dane wanted to kiss me…. I wouldn't mind."

 A deliciously, sinful smirk teased his mouth. "As my lady commands."

 His head tilted, leaning towards yours. Unconsciously your eyelids fluttered closed. Then the briefest of touches made your knees weak and your mouth part open in a sigh. After a moment's hesitation, he continued to shower your jawline with kisses. Needing to touch him, your hands landed on his chest, feeling the tunic that covered his firm chest. Your hands moved upward to grasp the back of his neck, his pulse jumping for a second as your nails scraped his skin. His hands landed on the curve of your waist, bringing you even closer to him, erasing the unwanted space between your bodies. 

 As his lips began their ascent upward along the otherwise of your jaw, you moved. For the burning sparks in your body screamed if he did not kiss you, you would spontaneously combust. Shifting your face, you stole a kiss on his lips before he could place it on your skin. It was more of a gentle pressing of your mouths, but even then, you heard a sharp inhale from him. Before you could question him, his mouth returned to yours with soft, probing kisses that urged you to respond. Not that you would ever deny him. What started off as a gentle flame quickly became a roaring fire. Breathing became unnecessary, for how could air bring you life when your body craved Sihtric, when your lungs demanded to breathe him in instead. He led you in a drugging kiss that had you melting against him. Your lips drank from one another as if that alone could sustain you forevermore.  

 "THANK YA, GOD!!" 

 The passionate kiss abruptly ended as Sihtric and your gazes darted towards the side of your house. Only to be met with the sight of his three companions standing at the entrance in various states of smugness. 

 "Oh, for the love of Odin…." Sihtric mumbled. 

 You buried your face in Sihtric's chest, face heated in embarrassment but unable to stop the giggles that poured forth. So caught up in finally confessing your feelings and kissing the man who haunted your dreams, you forgot that anyone could walk by and see you. His arms tightened around you, keeping you within his protective, loving embrace….and you knew there was nowhere else you would rather be. 

 "Took the two of ya long enough." Finan continued, leaning against the side of your humble home with a shit-eating grin. 

 "Amen." Osferth had a small, teasing smile on his face. "Thought I would have to lock them in a room together before one of them finally confessed."

 Apparently, you and Sihtric were not as subtle as you previously thought. Now it made sense why Osferth was questioning you about Cedric and your thoughts on love and marriage earlier. Your heart flooded with gratitude towards your childhood friend, for without him you doubted neither Sihtric or you would have spoken up. Peering over, you caught Osferth's eye and mouthed a quick 'thank you'. He nodded, a simple joy radiating from his face. 

 "Lord?" Sihtric called over with a blank expression. "Permission to continue?"

 Uhtred chuckled. "I guess you've waited long enough. Go ahead." 

 Without waiting a moment longer, Sihtric tipped your face back up towards his and claimed your lips once more. You vaguely thought you heard laughter coming from the others but it all blurred away, like a faint sound while underwater. All you could see, all you could feel, all you could hear was Sihtric. 

 Just how you wanted it. 

 Suddenly you yanked your head back, your breathing labored and lips swollen. "My mother is helping at a nearby farm today. She won't be back until it's dark."

 He hummed against your skin trailing small kisses along your jawline and down your neck as if unable to keep his hands and mouth off you now that the dam had been released. 

 "I'm not as pure as Osferth thinks me to be."

 That statement made his actions stop. Carefully he raised his head to meet your gaze. "After dark?" He confirmed, voice rough in a way that sent a bolt of heat through you. 

 "Yes, she planned on having supper with them….so my home is currently empty….and I did just clean my blankets the other day…."

 He swooped in to give you a feverish, greedy kiss that left no doubt where his mind had gone. When he finally pulled back, you were surprised your legs could still hold you upright. Your whole body felt like puddy in his arms and he had only kissed you, albeit you doubted you would ever forget the way his mouth worshiped yours. 

 "You are certain? You want this?" He softly asked, staring into your eyes once more. "You want me?" 

 It was the last question, the vulnerable undertone, the hint of insecurity in it that sealed your decision. Letting your actions be your answer, you grabbed his hand and started pulling him in the direction of the door to your home. It did not take more than a second for him to come beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist. 

 With his taste on your lips, the future did not matter right now. It did not matter that he was Dane and you were not. All you knew was Sihtric was neither a saint nor a sinner, but simply a man deserving of love. The river of your love was pointing you directly towards him, and you silently vowed to never let it run dry. 

#ems100 #mzwrites #The Last Kingdom #the last kingdom fanfic #the last kingdom fandom #the last kingdom imagine #sihtric x reader #sihtric kjartansson #Sihtric #sihtric imagine #Uhtred #Uhtred of Bebbanburg #osferth #finan #finan the agile

[sashi-ya]

Living with the Pirates of Heart ~Day 8: Garchuu! ~

Hi babies! So, here we are with day8 of this series. I have to apologize for the non daily updates, but here I am with a new short story. This time the shot tells about Law's arrival to Zou. (This actually happens after this fic - Warning: NSFW - Spicy Week Event)

A/N: Reader is Law's girlfriend. It is a mix in between comedic & angst & fluff. I apologize in advance for the sweet fluffy and angsty ending.

WC: 1.2K

Day 1; Day 2; Day 3; Day 4; Day 5; Day 6 ; Day 7; Day 8; Day 9; Day 10

Tag list: @rivvd-art

Day 8: Garchuu! ~

“Captain, we are having a banquet to celebrate your return” you tell your boyfriend, messing with him, because you know he actually hates parties. Law looks at you pissed; you clearly have interrupted his “planning sessions”. Yet, even if he hates it, he has a soft spot for you. He can’t say no to you… “Now?” he asks, standing up from the wooden desk. “Uhum…”. “Ok” he sighs and walks to you.

While walking, you have the best -worst- idea you could ever have… “Babe, here you greet people by saying <Garchu>, not hello or hi, ok?”. You giggle a little but keep the laughter inside. The surgeon looks at you, suspiciously but simply accepts it.

A huge table full of food and fluffy animals awaits you. Law takes his hat and holding it in his hand bends a little forward and… “Garchu” he says, smiling to the ground. Bepo’s ears twitch, you glance at Pen and Shachi anticipating their faces...

Every single fluffy mink stands up and runs towards Law. “Garchuu!!!”, “Garchu chuuu!”. Law’s cheeks completely squeezed, desperate eyes trying to look out for help. You can’t stop laughing at such a cute image; Law being trapped around multiple hairy hugs. Dogs, cats, lions, bears, even those you can’t recognize at all are there too.

You know Law loves fluffy animals, and that also loves to be crushed by them. That’s why he usually sleeps with Bepo. (Yeah, he still does sometimes… even though you are an already established couple. You don’t mind, though. It’s really cute to see him snuggling to Bepo’s white fur). But this is extremely overwhelming for him, so you intercept before the minks end up sliced up. “Ok ok, Law’s still a little hurt from the battle at Dressrosa guys!” you tell them, and quickly everybody let himself go.

“Sorry, Law!”. “Sorry, bro!”. “Can I still lick him, though?”. “NO! Don’t you dare put that tongue on my face ever again!” He points to a mink dog.

He sits, angry as hell with you for not telling him about this special welcoming habit. “So… did you lik…” you wanna ask, but he lifts his hand up, so you shut the fuck up. “Shut up, just… please shut up” he says, and bites some type of meat out of the table. You have to bite your own lips not to laugh like fucking crazy, especially while glancing at your crew mates. None of them can’t stop laughing, they all know how much Law hates, and secretly enjoys, that type of interaction.

“But Law… you love fluffy things” you insist. Law’s caramel cheeks turn burning red. “I…. don’t”. “Aaah come on, come here… Garchuuuu ~” you tell him, rubbing your cheek against his. He does not take you apart, if there is something he likes is your skin being pressed against his…

A rabbit bites his ears, a goat keeps offering him food. Loud music all over, people partying and enjoying themselves. Law likes a little party, but after all he’s been through the last few days, this doesn’t feel good… He actually thinks being in the Thousand Sunny go it’s actually more peaceful than this.

And because that isn’t enough, a little monkey jumps in between the two of you. He starts jumping on Law’s lap, trying to give him a banana. You laugh at it, “Hi!! Hi!”. “Look Law, Mugiwara has just left but here is someone to replace him” you tease him. Law’s eyelids twitch, he grits his teeth… Luffy stresses Law to no extent. He loves the little monkey gum gum boy like a brother, but oh boy… too much for him.

“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I’M OVER!” he shouts, stands up and hits the table with his inked hands. “Babe…” you whisper, you know exactly Law has a limited amount of patience for social interaction and you have surpassed it by way too much.

Law walks away all pissed off. He hates to admit he likes the animals, but everything seems to overwhelm him… and you realize about it a little too late. Bepo stands up, he knows his brother is not feeling ok. Pen and Shachi too. “(Name), would it be ok if we go?” they ask. “Guys don’t worry. It’s my fault… I’m gonna go talk to him” you tell them, clearly taking the blame.

You walk through the humid streets of the devastated city, poor Minks… they have lost his ancient city just because of that fucking Kaido pirates… Law’s vivre card points towards the big “Whale tree”. Over it a pretty rainbow created by the remaining drops of water Zunīshahas splashed all over his back. Even if everything looks ruined, for some reason the place feels so magical. There is something in the atmosphere that makes the place sacred, mystical, special.

The paper on the palm of your hand, that holds a little piece of Law’s soul, vibrates intensely. Law is right there, sitting over a little rock, contemplating the marvelous scenery of this island. Grey eyes fixed on the horizon.

You come closer, no talking. Yet, he knows you are there… Maybe it is because of his observation Haki, maybe because of the string that holds your souls together. You sit on his side, silently and put your head over his shoulder. You can feel the lump of emotions on his chest. It must be so difficult for him. He went and faced his past, his traumas, everything. He was prepared to die, just to fulfill his revenge against Doflamingo.

“I’m sorry…” you whisper. “You were trying to make me laugh, don’t worry…” he says, eyes glossy as tears begin to form. “Yeah, but still…” you say, planting a sweet kiss on his cheek.

“You know… I spoke to… uh… admiral. Ex admiral, Sengoku” he suddenly confesses, while fidgeting his fingers. You freeze. You were not sure if you wanted or not to hear what he was going to say next, but you still let him speak. “He… was like… Cora-San’s dad, you know?” a little tear falls through his cheek. “Oh…” you say, wiping the tear off. “I asked him about the will of D… maybe he had a clue… maybe he had any idea why Cora saved me…”.

You still don’t understand why Law needs explaining about it, Rosinante loved him and that’s it.

“And what did he say?” you ask him, as both of you press your foreheads together. “He... uhm… said that… I should never attach a reason to the love I’ve received”. Tears sprout from his crystalline eyes. “And he is right, babe… you deserve all the love. Rosinante loved you, it doesn’t matter whether you were a D or not, you were just a sick kid… he loved you”.

Law shyly smiled, there was a glimpse of peace in his eyes… a much-needed peace and closure. “I love you, dummy…” you whisper, kissing his wet eyes. “I love you, too… with no reason at all, just because I do” he says back.

Law had finally understood what loving means…

And now you start running because Zunisha is splashing water all over again. “FUCK THE FLOODS!”. “RUN!!”. Both of you run to a higher place, holding hands, and laughing out loud. After all, being at Zou was like a little vacation for you all… ♥~

#trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar law #trafalgardwaterlaw #Living with the pirates of Heart #trafalgar one piece #trafalgar d. water law #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law x oc #one piece #law one piece #law x y/n #law x reader #one piece x reader #one piece x you #one piece x y/n #one piece x oc #law imagine #trafalgar law imagine #trafalgar law one piece #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law x y/n

[jaggedwolf]

air support, we need you (or: tscosi 2x09)

some bomb dropping, ofc, spoilers below duh

same game, top three things i had feelings ‘bout in reverse order

3. time skip time! Everyone could use a bit of a breather, even if it can’t live up to Arkady’s goat farm dreams

I thought all the planet assignments made sense, even if the completionist in me wanted it to differ more from the split that had already happened this season

ok ok the shipper in me was 50-50 but we’ll address that later

2. my man park!! is back!!! 

Showing up with an anti-aircraft missile launcher as a wedding gift. I kept joking that Park would keep up his finale trend of showing up as a surprise being cool (as cool as Park can be anw), and thought it wouldn’t happen till it did!

and him also quietly saying the defector wasn’t Shelly....Park...are you going to talk about this...

narrowly avoided extended crew singing for the third time, will he keep up this success rate?

I would take a mini-episode that just followed Park in the second half of the season (Park: I am an independent man who needs no crew)

1. Arkady attacking Krejjh because she thinks they’re an enemy, AND then McCabe pulling a gun on her to make sure she didn’t run away. Bro. Bro, that shit was a direct hit to the id. Do I even have words for how good that was

Knowing what was about to happen as soon as Arkady said “You” in that tone of voice, ugh

Krejjh saying Arkady instead of First Mate Patel in desperation, and then brushing it off with a :D after

But god, McCabe. They’ve been so compelling this season, and yeah, maybe they’re approaching everything like a nail with the hammer they’ve got that shoots bullets, but the point is, it fuckin works 

Arkady buys the threat (the promise of her crew’s safety?) more than she buys Krejjh’s reassurances 

(though reading the transcript, Krejjh specifically telling Arkady “Science Officer Liu will never forgive you”, not “forgive us”, is excellent too)

“the only authority figures yet to disappoint me” / “I’m not an authority figure” / “you don’t get to decide that” is just like. embedded in my mind. just McCabe going no, you don’t get to run verbally either.

Do you ever think about how Arkady and McCabe had like, different kinds of fucked up childhoods compared to the rest of the crew. Like obviously McCabe ending up an agent so young and the stuff about their family suggests a pretty secure background, but it feels like the IGR and Dwarnian war starting when they were 12 gives them a kind of cynicism that meshes well with Arkady’s, in a way that’s distinct from how Arkady and Violet’s morbidness mesh, or Arkady and Sana’s pragmatism

ok more character feels under the cut

don’t scandalize the grandparents

A married man! 

Impressed he made it through the season with no baddies wrecking his oxygen

Always ready to point out that Arkady is actually as much of a nerd as he is

AKA I didn’t realize it was a Mozart reference till he said so. Arkady defies the jock-nerd chart

okay who of Arkady or Krejjh is gonna tell him about MMA fight outside, or did they do a whole team debrief. For Arkady’s sake I’m hoping not the latter, though I guess everyone else would like an explanation for McCabe’s gun-pointing??

likes solving problems without guns, would prefer solving them by FLYING SPACESHIPS 

Krejjh watches McCabe’s gun strategy work on Arkady and goes “do you folks really live like this?? why???”

I do love that their first thought on what to do next is to run a bunch of supplies around, probably between human populations that are going to be a wary at seeing a dwarnian show up. (Eat it, Eejjhgreb)

Kinda wonder if their feelings about getting choked out by their buddy are in fact more complicated than “it’s chill dude, please don’t do something stupid”

The cutest vow

who needs to calm down your crewmates with annoying words when you can just point a gun at them

Seriously where is the human-dwarnian war AU where it lasts longer or happens later where McCabe is the baby sniper posted to Arkady’s unit and they squabble a bunch (and perhaps kiss? When I wrote my third ever ficlet for this fandom never did I anticipate actually being interested in that)

what % of their Mirzakhani choice was thinking “what if Arkady tries to run from the goat farm and no one’s around to point a gun at her” jk jk

Their exclusion of Park from authority figures that didn’t disappoint them is fascinating. Is it that he left hoping for Shelly when it probably wasn’t her, or that he isn’t an authority figure anymore, a combination there of?

Or worst of all, is it that when he didn’t kill Krejjh back in 1x10, that really was a disappointment, no matter how much it might’ve been mixed with relief, and you can’t undo that moment?

What if they and Park talked. But I don’t think Park is going to goat planet, so that seems unlikely.

Their apology to Sana for heightened Martineau security! And Sana reiterating the profound gratefulness bit, gah

mostly read other people’s words and yet sparked consideration of two different OT3s, her power.

you know what, everyone deciding Sana is the best person to read words makes complete sense

There was one specific moment this episode that sent my mind into a tizzy about V/A/S, and it was Arkady going FINE GO ASK THE CAPTAIN THEN at how firm Violet was that Tripathi would be the one driving her, not Arkady.

I need you to understand that my V/A/S OT3 opinions are such that my shipping feels were more set off by that than Sana and Violet telling Arkady they were proud of her for choosing goat planet or whatever, like I don’t even know what dynamic was so captured by that argument, rip at Arkady having to be systems apart from them again

Though ofc my heart was buoyed by Sana’s earnest “Kady, you do more than that”, I want these two to go do a job together again, I miss that

To shift gears, I cannot believe “Lenny” started out as Sana being absolutely furious at the people threatening her crew and has ended up a teasing in-joke between her and Park, my Sana/Park shipping feels were very content. (When does Sana learn that Park didn’t get to hear the long list of fake crimes the Rumor crew specifically confessed to Lenny? This must be fixed. Tell him about the diamonds!)

Campbell said “Park, let me show you where we’ve been sleeping.” and my brain went. Wait. This is actually a good OT3?? Park is already unnerved by Sana’s earnest captaining, he should get unnerved by Campbell’s default magnanimity, please consider this

this is also where I point out that all these major characters have very convenient names for indicating ships solely via letters. V/A! B/K! S/P/C! This may solve my ot3 tagging problem...

get off that cotton candy boat, vi

Haha I loved that line from Doc Robinson she’s so no-nonsense, love Violet agreeing to work with her

Doc also said menders and I thought about this post again and also the team split and ahhh

But no, I very much liked Violet gently crushing Arkady’s goat farm dreams, and the two of them awkwardly discussing the very awkward stage things are at while still getting a feel for how the other operates

These nerds are trying and I’m still fond of them

at some point I was gonna make fun of Vi for not being able to drive before realising 1. she probably didn’t want to deprive the others of a vehicle 2. that would be incredibly hypocritical of me

wait does the igr have excellent public transport when they aren’t bombing it i take back every bad thing i’ve said abou-

*ahem* same question about the MMA fight debrief I had for Brian, it would be so funny if the situation was so rushed that like, Arkady+McCabe explain to Brian on the farm and Krejjh has to tackle everyone else

tick, tock, walking bomb, when it stops, nobody knows

arkady is so whumpable, and this show knows it

Redundant, but love how terrified of herself she is after hurting Krejjh and how strangely reassured she is by McCabe’s gun antics. And how she doesn’t like thinking of herself as an authority figure on the ship even though she literally is as First Mate

is ready to monologue about all major life events and the crew frickin knows it

is trying to help herself and stuff, still grumbling about it. in worse shape this season than last - probably all the constant discussion of the inevitable war just kept building stuff up and she kept ignoring it because haha who wants to deal with this prickly mess of a person haha

did i mention she’s the best

hope she gets her full goat farm dream one day, even if it’s not on actual goat farm

#tscosi #tscosi spoilers #jaggedwolf rambles #real rambling times yikes #mine #tscosi reviews

[writingat-night]

tagged by my lovely mutual @tauremornalome in the first line game!

rules: list the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). see if there are any patterns. choose your favourite opening line.

tagging: @plotdesigner @shuttymcshutfuck and anyone else who wants to! (feel free to let me know if you want to be tagged next time i do one of these writing tag games — i honestly just don’t know which of you write)

okay. so the thing about my writing is that i never fucking finish it, and a lot of my wips are just a jumble of unconnected scenes. technically, i have more than 20 (unfinished) stories, but i’ll only be posting the ones that a) actually Have A First Line, and b) i hope to finish at some point in the distant future.

1. blue seas to mulberry fields (the untamed, nhs-centric, the only half decent fic i’ve ever published)

Jin Guangyao is dead.

He’s dead, run through by Lan Xichen’s sword, crushed under a hundred tonnes of rubble and debris. He is gone.

Nie Huaisang knows this. He does. But one man’s death is nothing compared to a lifetime. Compared to years of shouting for Meng Yao when he needed help. Compared to years of calling him San-ge. Compared to a decade of planning revenge.

2. theon greyjoy and the horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day(s) (working title) (game of thrones/asoiaf, theon-centric)

Theon doesn’t know when, exactly, his status in Winterfell changes from prisoner to ward.

The first time he is a prisoner is during the Siege of Pyke. He isn’t a prisoner of Winterfell, not yet. But a prisoner is a prisoner is a prisoner all the same, regardless of if he’s locked in a cell or trapped in his own home.

3. take a chance, remake the world (game of thrones/asoiaf, starks-centric)

Two years, four months, and seventeen days after his coronation, King Brandon Stark, Bran the Broken, first of his name, wakes with a purpose. His first true purpose in a long time. He must go today.

4. your place in the family of things (game of thrones/asoiaf, sansa and theon-centric)

Sansa has always prided herself on her composure. When she was a child, she had spent hours in front of the mirror perfecting her curtsy and her posture and her politest smile. She always says please and thank you and she knows her manners better than any of her siblings ever did. She does all her homework and raises her hand in class when she knows the answer (which is almost always) and earns A-stars in almost every test. She never loses her temper or complains about her workload. Her parents spent a lot of time and money to get her and her sister into this school. She knows that, and she’s grateful for it.

She’s certainly not the kind of girl who breaks down sobbing over her French notes. And yet.

5. untitled whisper of the heart au (the untamed, sangcheng and nie bros-centric)

Nie Huaisang would like to say, for the record, that he has the worst brother in the world.

Objectively, he is aware that worse people exist. Meng Yao, for one. Jin Guangshan definitely makes the cut. Jin Zixun– well, Huaisang hasn’t talked to him since the time he punched him in the face in junior middle school, but he’s sure he’s still an asshole. Maybe Jins just suck, like, as a rule. (Excluding Zixuan. Except, actually, he is kind of a dick. He’s working on it, though, so Huaisang will cut him some slack.)

But as a brother? Mingjue is the worst.

6. bastards anonymous (working title, obviously) (game of thrones/asoiaf, baratheon bastards-centric)

Gendry should have known that Secret Santa with Arya was a bad idea. It’s their first time including her in the present-giving, and they were very clear about the five pound limit. Not a one of them earns above minimum wage, except Arya. She doesn’t have a job, but her allowance is more than Gendry gets paid in a month.

7. the todorokis gtfo (working title) (bnha, todorokis and hawks-centric)

Fuyumi is not a good daughter.

She is not like Shouto. She is not the prodigy, the golden child, the future hero. She doesn’t have a quirk so strong it nearly burnt down the house when it first manifested, a quirk so perfectly balanced that even his appearance reflects it. She doesn’t have a destiny laid out in front of her, ready to be followed like a gold-paved road.

She isn’t a bad child, either, she hopes. Not like Natsuo. They might both be the middle children, in a way (although she’s technically tied for eldest with Touya, she is six minutes younger than him), both the failures, both invisible, but she’s content with that. Natsuo isn’t. She tries to balance out his anger at their father, to get him to just keep his head down and do as he’s told, but the more time he spends with Touya, the more rebellious he becomes.

But, then, she supposes it makes sense, given his circumstances. After all, Fuyumi might not have the unbeatable quirk their father dreamed of, but at least she has one.

8. show me where my armour ends (bnha, dabihawks, because i refuse to let go of this ship and i hate canon)

If there’s a better end to a day of hero work than a shower hot enough to turn his skin as bright red as his wings, Hawks hasn’t found it yet. Being a hero might be hard, but it’s damn worth it for the feeling of washing away grit and blood under scalding water, if for nothing else. After the day he’s had, he’s more than earned it.

9. untitled modern au (game of thrones/asoiaf, theon and the starks centric)

For all that his children seem to believe otherwise, Ned Stark is not an idiot. He has five kids, a sixth on the way, and he has learned something about being a parent in the past eight years.

He is not fooled when Robb comes down for dinner five minutes early, smiling brightly, and says, “Hi, Daddy! Do you want me to set the table?”

Robb had stopped calling him and Cat Mummy and Daddy at the start of the school year, because no-one calls their parents that anymore, Dad, come on, I’m in Primary Four now. He only uses it now when he wants something. And he never offers to set the table.

10. houses out of cardboard boxes (voltron (i know, i know, i’m sorry), adashi)

Adam isn’t nervous, per se. Adam Wadekar doesn’t do nervous. It’s just that this is his first time at a new school since he started teaching, so he may be a little out of practise

(Also, he’s back in California for the first time in years, after vowing to never return. But, whatever. Not the point.)

11. untitled character study (pjo, will solace-centric)

As a rule, Will is nonviolent. Between a staunchly pacifist mom, a complete lack of athletic ability, and a pathological urge to please people, he doesn’t think he could hurt another person if he tried.

But when you walk into your kitchen to see a man with goat legs and two teenagers holding swords, all common sense sort of goes out the window.

hmm. i feel like all of them have a similar.... vibe, but i can’t pin down a pattern, per se. i tend to open with a fact about a character and then some kind of contradiction, a lot of the time. i think my favourites are probably blue seas to mulberry fields, your place in the family of things, the todorokis gtfo, and the will solace one. (mainly blue seas, though. i will fucking finish that fic if it Kills Me)

#athena talks #tag game #my writing #the untamed #game of thrones #bnha #voltron #pjo #again: no pressure to do it if you don’t want to!

[silhouettecrow]

This is the last part of me providing my Thoughts™ and Feelings™ about Shadow and Bone as I watch it 'cos this one is about the finale:

They brought back Alina and Mal reaching out for each other, and oh, boy, was that heartbreaking! It’s so well done yet so painful

Mal's turn-around of "Time will do it for me" to "Your past will do it for me” when he let the volcra get the Darkling was so good. I literally clapped, even though I knew the Darkling would, obviously, live

Also, the ending of the Darkling emerging from the Fold after Alina and Mal saying he’s dead was a great yet predictable (in a good way) transition. And the way the Darkling said, “Follow,” and the merzost just came with him was chilling. That was a perfect way to end the first season in my opinion

Not to brag, but I said three things before Jesper, one before Kaz, and one before Nina. I think my theory about absorbing the Crows' personalities is more true than I initially thought it was

Remember how I mentioned how the ugliness and asymmetry of the antlers in Alina’s collarbone was such an amazing parallel to the pain she is in? Well, her absorbing the antlers altogether after releasing herself from the Darkling’s control and realising the stag chose to give her its power is just. . .WOW. I honestly don’t know how to express how beautiful that was

Also, my best friend did bring up a good point: where did the antlers go? Did they just go further into her body? Did she legit consume them into her body and they’re just gone? What happened? 😂

Can I talk about Nina and Matthias for a hot second? I honestly don’t think I felt so much for Helnik when I read the Six of Crows duology as I did in this last episode, so I have a lot to say. The chemistry is straight from the pages of the books, but it’s so much different physically seeing them interact than just reading about it. It’s also different ‘cos we are seeing the relationship develop between them than being thrown in the middle of it with backstory being sprinkled throughout the progression of their story. The two of them flirting and being cute was so lovely, but the fear in Nina’s eyes when she knows she has to make a horrible decision between Matthias being arrested or being killed and then the betrayal that is written all across Matthias’ face in that cell on the ship was just devastating

I know this isn't about this episode, but I realised I forgot to mention it attached to episode 6 (I think), but Ivan threatening Jesper with him knowing what he is was dastardly. Like, I know you have to have read the books to know what Ivan was saying 'cos Jesper cuts him off, and I love little Easter eggs like that for us, but the foreshadowing of that shit was good. Leave the people who haven't read the books with questions and the people who have in anticipation! God, I love that!

Jesper still missing Milo is so precious and, I hate to say it, a mood ‘cos me too. I wanted to see a surprise appearance from the darling goat, but I will take Jesper bringing him up twice as compensation

Speaking of Jesper being a mood, Jesper begging for the reassurance that Kaz has got their backs with a plan was so painfully relatable. Bro, I would have done the same thing in that situation

It hurts me on a spiritual level to be aware that five out of the six Crows were on that boat at once. I need Wylan. Y’all, season 2 better happen 😭

And I want more interactions between Inej and Alina and between Inej and Zoya. That shit makes my Sapphic heart go berserk. You can’t look me in the eyes and say there isn’t the least bit of gay tension between these women. And that means I am so looking forward to Inej and Nina interacting; I may pass out

In addition to that, Kaz saying he needs Inej added five years to my life. And I think the happiest he looked all season was when Inej said she’d go with him to pay off Heleen and then decide what to do from there. And Kaz being a believer is ✨bonkers✨ in the best way possible

Lastly, to end with something about my boy, Jesper saying that he still couldn’t shoot Ivan’s pretty face was fucking great. I also died laughing at him saying that the true wealth was the friends they made along the way ‘cos of course Jesper is going to be the one to make a real-world meme reference and, on top of that, make it about the goat! Amazing, beautiful, wonderful. As always, I love him dearly

My final thoughts on the show as a whole is that it is a great adaptation of the books, especially with the blending of the storylines from the trilogy and the Six of Crows duology. The pacing was something I honestly had to adjust to, considering I know so much of the source material, but I think it worked and was a good choice to help viewers unfamiliar with the books understand what is happening. And even though I’ve read the books, I was pleasantly surprised with the numerous twists and turns; I was invested in the show as a whole, not just for the familiar characters and storylines (that was just a bonus, tbh). I genuinely love this show and am willing to say it is now tied for my favourite television show with Orphan Black and Good Omens. I’m hoping desperately for a season 2, not just for Wylan and Nikolai, but because this was truly so beautiful and brought me a lot of happiness and peace during one of the scariest and most stressful times in my life

I just want to thank anyone who has read any of these things I've written about the show. I truly didn't expect anyone to read them or even really care about what I thought or felt, but it does mean a lot that some of you are willing to read them at all and then even give them a like. This is just the adaptation of my favourite book series and knowing other people are caring about and even enjoying my reactions is so pleasant and comforting. Thank you 💕

If you want to check out my other Thoughts™ and Feelings™ about this first season, here are the links to those posts: Episode 2, Episodes 3 and 4, Episode 5, and Episodes 6 and 7

I'm now excited to remove spoilers from my filtered tags and to dive into what other people have been posting about Shadow and Bone! See y'all on the other side! ✌

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #netflix shadow and bone #sab #six of crows #soc #shadow and bone spoilers #shadow and bone netflix spoilers #sab spoilers #s&b spoilers

[prisonhannibal]

Do you have any cablepool fanfic recommendations bc I suffer daily trying to find good ones (especially comic based, but movie is fine too)

I think you might be a long distance telepath because I got an ask like this a while ago and didn’t answer it bc I needed time to think. and then I couldn’t find it in my inbox so I decided to just write a regular post, and while I was writing that post I got this ask!

ok these are in no particular order and I’m not using the actual plot summaries the authors used on ao3, just making stuff up or using quotes from the fic

one-shots

Landing on both broken hearted knees by rayguntomyhead (1.6k words, rated M)

Post Deadpool 2. Wade and Nate share a hotel room. I know what you’re thinking, it’s not that kind of fic. Nothing is going on with them yet.

Tropes by quakey (2.2k words, rated T)

Wade’s been reading TVtropes, and if Nate is fucking with him right now, Wade is gonna gut him like a fish and throw his bloody corpse in the sea for the sharks.

These days are great and so are you by bankrobbery (3k words, rated T)

Movie based. Wade gets kinkshamed by Weasel and hawaiian-shirt-shamed by Cable. They’re at the bar, basically

Motormouth by pavonine (13k words, rated T)

Wade can’t shut the fuck up, and this time it’s not even his fault! Wade’s been cursed to never be able to stop talking, which is really fucking inconvenient if you’ve got stuff you’re trying to not say.

also the norwegian prime minister is in it very briefly, and it was posted in 2013, when jens stoltenberg was the PM so I’m just gonna assume it’s him and bring your attention to this picture of him which I think is hilarious

Pressure points by denims (2k words, rated M)

Cable keeps casually touching him, which probably doesn’t mean anything (don’t listen to domino, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about), but it makes Wade feel weird. So, so weird.

Multi-chapter

Wade will f*** shit up for you by Quakey @withoutaconscienceorafilter (48k words, rated E, so minors stay away from this one, it’s the only thing on the list with actually NSFW scenes.)

The craigslist ad said “My name’s Wade and I fuck shit up professionally. So your ex getting married? I’ll crash that shit. Your job fire before their company picnick? I’ll show up with tequila and throw hands. Got some one one you hate an just wanna fuck their day up? I’m all over that shit. Serving all situations where we customize your service to your liking email me for pricing. Services guaranteed with video.” Maybe this is a horrible idea, and maybe he shouldn’t have, but Nate did answer it, so things are definitely about to get weird

I’m biased on this one because it was based on a post I made but it seriously is really good it’s super funny (almost choked to death trying not to laugh on the bus at one point) and in character and some of the scenes are so so so cute. Not sold yet? Hope is in it. AND Ellie. Hell yeah! This one is movie based, and I really like that it’s a regular non powered AU, but Nate’s arm+eye and Wade’s scars are still included. Like Nate has a prosthetic arm and Wade actually looks like Wade.

Fistful of shovels by surefall (28.6k words, rated T)

Now, you might be thinking, ms. Mutantapologist, this is tagged spideypool?? It is, but just trust me okay

Wade’s best friend, bromanciest of bros to ever bro, Nathan Summers is back in his life, and he’s really starting to get under Peter’s skin. They’re just too close, and Nathan is there all the damn time. List of things Wade’s weird time traveling BFF would look good in: 1. his own damn home. Nate and Peter get passive aggressive and competitive, Nate’s manipulative tendencies make an appearance, Peter is kind of a dick, and Wade’s honestly just happy to have his BFF back.

this is one of my favorite portrayals of their relationship dynamic tbh. just...their unbreakable bond...the way they keep coming back to each other through time and dimensions...that shit makes me cryyyy. and how well they know each other..the trust...the casual intimacy....how comfortable they’re with each other...also the dialogue in this is perfect, love their banter. This one is “screenshotting quotes and sending them to your friends” level funny. they also play mario kart and I think that’s nice.

Read Omake: Fistful of shovels for the Deleted Scenes Edition that has stuff that didn’t make it into the final fic or alternate versions of scenes. includes: Nate sending a shirtless selfie with ulterior motives, Nate being sort of a home wrecker (but at least he’s more honest about it!), aunt May, Nate being accused of being a bottom, etc.

Strangers by totallynotremus @totallynotremus (31k, rated T)

Nate plays games. Not weird manipulative mind games this time. Actual games. Online. With Wade and his friends. Wade feels targeted because come on, you behave mildly flirtatiously with the guy your friend group is gaming with online a lot acouple of times and suddenly your so called “friends” won’t stop harassing you about it. unbelievable. this one is also super funny

Motion Practice Universe: Cablepool Edition

I couldn’t put these in either category because they need to be in order and there’s one-shots AND a multi chapter fic so i’d have to separate them and that wouldn’t work. These are part of the (as of august 2020) 1,405,078 words long Motion Practice Universe, but you don’t need to read the rest of it to know what’s going on, I didn’t and it works 100% fine as a stand-alone storyline

Wade Wilson explains it all (or at least, how Clint’s keeping his job. Mostly keeping his job. It’s complicated.) by the_wordbutler (3.3k words, rated T)

Wade is trying to put together a fruit basket for Clint, because he’s a thoughtful friend (who does not get enough credit, hello?), unlike some other people. Example: his coworkers, who won’t let him focus on his super special important project (fruit basket!). And Nate, who’s eating an orange (from the fruit basket!😡) which has no business being that distracting.

it’s sort of an introduction to the next thing in the list, and I highly recommend reading it first. Definitely does a great job at showing what you’re gonna get from the full fic. Also, it’s cute and funny.

Admissions, Interrogatories, and other discoveries by the_wordbutler (150k words, rated M)

No, that wasn’t a typo, it really is 150k words. And I read it. Twice.

Basically, Wade is a criminal defense attorney, good job, you get to defend goat fuckers and other weirdos. Fun times. Nate’s a coworker, works in immigration and civil rights law, they do projects together. Just a bro he jokes around with, who sometimes brings Wade lunch, and whose arms Wade really likes to stare at, but that doesn’t mean anything, right?

this one is REAL slowburn (never in my LIFE have i experienced slow burn like this one holy FUCK), great relationship development and I just love their dynamic and banter in this one. Perfect dialogue and it’s really fucking funny, made me laugh out loud at several points! AND!! Hope is in it<3

What I learned on my summer vacation, an essay by Hope Summers by the_wordbutler (4.5k words, rated T)

Sequel to Admissions, interrogatories and other m discoveries. Wade, Nate, and ten year old Hope go to Disney World, and the beach. A lot of love and family<3 Wade took 3 sign language classes to talk to Hope (who’s deaf)

I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot of great ones but here’s what I could think of rn!!

#txt #cablepool #anonymous

[stevemcqueencheese]

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

I was tagged by @boywonder-terrorist.

1. Name/Nickname: my name's Killian, though I often go by Goat online

2. Gender: male

3. Star Sign: Aries

4. Height: bro don't start with those american measurements like 5'5? Still growing tho

5. Time: 8:00 AM bc I gotta feed my rats

6. Birthday: March, 29th

7. Favorite Bands: The Front Bottoms, Palaye Royale, Beach Death, Brick and Mortar, Choir Vandals

8. Favorite Solo Artists: uhhhh don't know that many but Ricky Montgomery and Amigo the Devil

9. Song stuck in my head: Rock Star Skinny by The Real Zebos

10. Last Movie: Annabelle comes home I think

11. Last Show: House MD (every night, every day)

12. When did I create this blog: 2021 but honestly I have no concept of time anymore

13. What I Post: House MD

14. Last thing I googled: Oxycodone and alcohol.... it's research for merry little christmas

15. Other blogs: wouldn't you wanna know weather boy

16. Do I get asks: not yet

17. Why I chose my url: bc Steve is the bestest boy and it rhymes with cheese

18. Following: 64 but on my old tumblr I had like 300

19. Followers: 70

20. Average hours of sleep: 6, on weekends 10

21. Lucky Number: 8

22. Instruments: oh boy accordion, piano, bit of guitar, drums, all sorts of flutes and singing ig

23. What am I wearing: pyjamas, aka dark green hoodie and those standard yellow checkered pyjama pants

24. Dream Trip: Really wanna go back to Venice last year was cool af

25. Favorite Food: idk man

26. Nationality: German

27. Favorite Song: HATEF--K by The Bravery bc I've spent more hours listening to that song than I ever studied for school (would not recommend)

28. Last book I read: .....Schuld und Sühne but I'm not finished

29. Tob 3 fictional universes I'd like to live in: Star Wars, Star Trek (man I just wanna go to space) and HP bc magic is always kinda nice

30. Favorite Color: red

I tag:

@this-desk-set-wants-to-fly @nielsen1984 @echidnahart @polyesterrbride @hatecrimeshilson @transdavidrose @roberttchase @turtlelover59 @omg-just-peachy @captainsolocide @buckysoldatbarnes @drjameswilson

I tried not to tag anyone who was already tagged by @/boywonder-terrorist so definitely ain't 20 people. Also I'm totally cool if you don't wanna do this dw

#long post #personal