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#so I had to update ALL of them. my hand aches… 😭
captainhysunstuff · 17 days
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The Chain’s Master List’s Links Have Been Updated
It has been brought to my attention that some links in the Master List of my fancomic “The Chain” weren’t working properly, particularly entries 43 to 45. They have been updated to work so that they open without leaving the Tumblr phone app, and they should function on a computer hopefully. Same with the transcripts. Unfortunately, I can’t edit links within the posts themselves from my phone, so the “Next” and “Transcript” links may not work there, but they do open from the Master List, which should be reachable from every entry in addition to being pinned on my blog. Once I access my laptop, I’ll get to work on updating those links, too.
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ch0lwrld · 7 months
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10:04 PM (pt. 1)
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pairing: soobin x f!reader
genre: f2l, idol au, pure fluff
summary: soobin and you have been friends since predebut. his busy schedule often clashed with yours but you guys always made time for your monthly dates. though.. they have been feeling a little more.. different.
a/n: had this idea for a little bit and thought it was cute! at first when i was writing it i didnt hit save so i almost $&@“ but we’re okay now i tried to scavenge as much as i could of what i wrote but i still wish i had what i put before 😭😭 I'll probably continue to edit this after it's published but let me know what you think!
☆ read pt.2 here!
“hold it like this…. yeah exactly!” he says as he positions your hands to the angle he wants. he's always been peculiar about his photos but it made this moment all the more endearing.
“i know how to take photos, binnie” you say with a chuckle. soobin had stopped you both in the middle of your walk to the gelato shop you bugged him about before you both went to dinner. you had saw it scrolling through your feed and immediately begged him to come with you. of course, he couldn’t deny you. you guys had already been past due on your monthly hangouts. so you didn’t mind the little detour and if being behind the camera meant spending more time with him, then you’d take it.
“yeah but these ones need to be instagram worthy. how else will moa fully appreciate my charms?” he looks at you expectantly.
“just sit down.” you say playfully, “i’m sure moa will cherish any photo you post.” it was true, he had a strong fanbase and you always entertained yourself with the various emotions the comment section would go through.
soobin takes your advice and begins to strike a few poses on the cement bench while you crouch to take his best angles… which is all of them. seriously, how can a guy be so… hot and cute at the same time. you’d never tell him that though, his ego is already through the roof.
although you acknowledge he is quite attractive your friends say otherwise. no matter what you say, they have convinced themselves you're smitten, but you deny it. I mean, how could you like soobin? sure, maybe it’s cause you’ve been friends for so long, knowing soobin before his debut. you had always appreciated supporting him from the sidelines and don't want it any other way... he’d always tell you about his day like how work went from the lengthy practices he'd power through to meetings with producers and you’d always be there to listen. being the good friend that you are you can confidently say you're a fan of his group. you’ve even watched his performances and admired just how he could do all that.. how you had someone as amazing as him and to call him your friend. you wanted to support him in any way you could even if it meant just moments like these hearing about all of his accomplishments and what he’s working on next.
after what seems like forever he asks to see the photos you took, jogging up to your now standing position. you can feel the slight ache in your ankles, buckling at the knees a bit but you ignore it. turning his phone slightly to face him. he chooses, against your weak heart, to hover just above your shoulder. you can feel his breath fan aross the expanse of ur neck and it sends involuntary shivers down ur spine. the warmth mixed with the cold weather only adding to the feeling.
“what do you think?” you ask softly, still affected by the ever closing distance.
“that i need a new personal photographer” he says in a dull tone.
you take a step back to look at him, jaw slacked and in awe of his blatant response.
“hey! i never said i was good plus its free labor”
“yeah not the best service i have to give it a 4 out of 10” he says. he continues to berate your less than average photography skills. but yet, the photos you take of him always end up on his #monthlysoobin updates.
“if i wanna be nice… maybe ill boost you up to a 4.5 who knows”
“you're such an ass”, a pout growing on your lips as you face away from him. you don’t see it from your new position, but his grin only grows wider.
cute.
“come on,” he says. “let’s go get that gelato you wanted, i need my sugar fix” and he takes your hand in his, tugging you towards the direction of the gelato shop. you only stare at your now intertwined hands, cheeks flushing at the feeling.
oh, if only you knew.
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weixuldo · 4 months
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Allow me// ch 15
Vader x Reader
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a/n: sooo little life update- schools starting back up and i’ll be busier with the cafe and my classes so updates may start to be a bit slower again :( im sorry- but ill try to keep on top of things as much as i can!! also this chapter was written in several diff sessions so im sorry if it doesn’t read well 😭 it’s basically a bunch of miscommunication and misconceptions
A moment of weakness? or just a part of being human?
warnings: cursing, angst, harm, medical procedures, cannon typical violence
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Vader bit back a scream as he gripped your hand; the droids working on removing his leg ports were not as gentle as you had been with his arms (regardless of the ice water method). 
“It’ll be over soon V, I’m so sorry” you comforted as he trembled. 
The searing pinch of the lasers around his sensitive stumps made him dizzy with pain. He just wanted the melted ports off. 
Once more he gritted his teeth to suppress another howl of anguish.
You clenched your eyes shut at a particularly forceful squeeze; you didn’t want to tell him it hurt because you knew what he was experiencing was far worse. 
He groaned once the droid pulled off the warped metal from what remained of his legs and threw them into the disposal bin.
The droid moved away to prepare the new ports, allowing Vader a moment to breathe. 
He exhaled a shaky breath and loosened his grip on you; he saw the red marks on your hand where his just was and felt guilty. This was not your fight, you shouldn’t have to help him through this when you weren’t even involved.
A part of him also was just embarrassed that he was so vulnerable right now, especially in front of you. 
He needed to be the strong and fear-striking sith he normally was- not only for himself, but for you too.
What if you didn’t like this side of him?
Of course in the past you told him you liked all of him, vulnerable, strong, and everything in between- but that was before you saw him when he truly needed help. 
This was still your first time seeing him fully out of his suit, seeing him have to ask for assistance with every little task, seeing him human. 
What if you were pitying him? Did you think of him as a burden now? 
He shut his eyes once he saw the droid returning, hopefully this wouldn’t be as bad since it was just putting on new ports rather than tearing old ones off. 
The ends of his legs ached much more than his arms; the droid had to sear off some of the skin around the metal and a bit higher on his thigh to fully remove everything.
His legs were also much more affected by the lava and flames based on the position he was thrown in. 
Vader sucked in a sharp breath as he felt the droid running disinfectant over his open wounds. You reached for his hand to hold once you saw he was shaking again but he snatched his arm from you dramatically. 
Vader didn’t mean to do it so harshly- he had problems with dexterity and motor skills when he was out of the suit- he was just so worried you wouldn’t be the way you were before he left if he continued to let you see him in such a vulnerable state. 
He needed to salvage the remaining image of a strong leader you still had left of him. 
He needed to do this alone. 
You, on the other hand, felt saddened by his action- all you wanted to do was be there for him, comfort him…
Even if it were a stupid notion; you wanted to be the one person in the galaxy the Sith lord could always count on… maybe even the only one to love.
Of course it was foolish to think he could love you the way you wanted him to… but you could try. 
Despite your efforts, he pulled away… were you becoming too clingy? Were you smothering him?
You fretted over the hypotheticals as you backed away from his table. 
You watched the muscles in his jaw clench with every movement of the droid- he was in so much pain and all you wanted to do was take it away for him… but apparently he didn’t want you to. 
Once the droid got the first port secured you exited the room silently. Best to give him some space.
 Vader sensed your exit and felt saddened at your absence- why did you leave? Were you really that disgusted with him? 
He had a familiar wave of shame as he heard the steel doors slide closed behind you; would you come back if he called for you?
No.
He needed to do this alone, plus it was probably for the better, he didn’t want you to gain more aversion towards him than you apparently already had.
As he endured the operation on his leg and thoughts of you leaving him; he felt the uncomfortable sensation of bile rising in the back of his throat. 
Now it was definitely a good thing you weren’t here. 
He closed his eyes again and tried to quell the urge… so what if you didn’t reciprocate his feelings? He was Darth Vader, lord of the Sith- you couldn’t  say no to him. He could end you-
The contents of his tired stomach emptied themself as Vader rolled onto his side. There wasn’t much for him to lose, but the motion of his esophagus simply wouldn’t stop. He gagged and heaved on his side as he imagined “ending you”.
Even if you truly hated him and posed a threat to his empire, he couldn’t kill you… he wouldn’t be able to.
It made him physically sick to think about your death. You meant too much-
It would break his heart…
Once he gained his bearings another droid came to his aid offering a towel and oxygen. It cleaned his chest and his mess before the original resumed the operation. 
He’d have to talk to you eventually… he couldn’t keep letting his mind wander. 
____________________
Outside of the exam room you sat quietly; hands fidgeting in your lap. You were so worried about Vader that it never occurred to you that he might not want you there.
You just assumed- maybe that was foolish of you. 
You cringed as you heard his muffled cries while the bot secured the his new port. It was hard for you not to immediately rush to his side but you reminded yourself to restrain. 
After a while you felt the familiar pull of Vader’s force signature- guess he wanted to speak with you now. You prepared yourself to face whatever mood was waiting for you behind the metal door. 
Vader was testing his temporary limbs when you entered; he sat up attentively and watched as you cautiously walked towards him. 
“Why did you leave?” he asked as if he didn’t act like your presence annoyed him ten minutes ago.
“I just thought I wasn’t helping you much by standing here and I felt that my presence was not wanted, I’m sorry sir” you accidentally added the title, making Vader cringe- back to formalities…
“Sir” he echoed. 
Your eyes widened and corrected yourself “My apologies… “my Lord””. 
Vader chewed on the inside of his cheek at your reaction- he knew you didn’t mean it in a facetious way; he could tell you were genuinely on edge. 
“Please, do not revert to titles again- I… did not intend to be so brash with you” he said as his eyes intensely scanned your face. 
“Of course, It is no problem at all, you were perfectly fine” you responded shortly. 
He knew you were just trying to not upset him- stepping on eggshells. That's exactly what he didn’t want; he didn’t want to intimidate you into telling him what you thought he wanted to hear (he had a whole galaxy of subjects to lie to him on the daily, he didn’t need that from you too). 
Sure, he wanted to preserve the strong leader image he had for you, but he also wanted you to be comfortable to talk to him on the same level- to trust him. 
Vader focused his energy and watched your relieved face once his force signature descended warmly over you; this was his way of offering you comfort (since he wasn’t completely sure how you felt about his body in this state).
As you felt the warm sensation wash over your body, a small sigh escaped your lips. He seemed regretful- sympathetic- apologetic even?
You were just so caught up in his fragile state that you may have hovered a bit too much- it was only because you cared for the sith so much. It was probably best to distance yourself.
“Would you like me to stay or shall I go?” you asked with a small smile. 
Vader’s brow bone quivered as his eyes called for you (he desperately wanted you to stay but he was too ashamed to admit his desire). 
“Do as you wish.”
“I believe I will take my leave then”. 
You cast your gaze to the floor and blinked back a few tears before managing to meet his eyes again. You didn’t speak; your eyes were glassy and held an expression that could not read. His blood ran cold. 
Nothing was exchanged for a few moments- only intense eye contact. 
“I disgust you” Vader's weak, raspy voice managed, breaking the terrible silence. 
“Vader-” you said softly, watching his eyes transition between yellow and blue. 
“Have I ruined us? This is what I was worried about- I never should have allowed you to get this close- I never should have let you in” he monologued (more-so to himself than anyone else).
“I was a fool to think you would want to stay by my side after you had seen my reality- I am broken… But I never wanted you to witness my incompetence... my weakness”.
His face contorted into a pained grimace and his voice became more hoarse than it already was; you could tell that tears would have been forming if his tear ducts weren’t burnt from past wounds. 
“Vader-” you called once more as you walked towards him slowly. 
He looked frightened as you cupped his cheek with one of your hands. 
“You have done none of these things. You do not disgust me and never have”.
He inhaled sharply as your thumb brushed over his scarred cheek. You bent down to kiss his forehead when he grabbed your other hand with his robotic ones. His eyes were purely blue when he searched yours once more. 
“Then why did you leave?” his voice was wavering with each syllable. 
Your brows furrowed for a moment, “what do you mean, V?”.
The nickname was a relief to his ears, but he pressed on, “Just a moment ago- the droids were working on my legs…”. 
“I assumed you didn’t want me here… you snatched your hand from me-”
Vader closed his eyes and rested his head against your chest. 
“I… have mobility issues whenever I am out of my suit for long periods of time” he said.
“I see, but why- why did you pull away in the first place- I know you intended to, I felt it”. 
“Would you be content if I were to tell you it was because I was trying to protect our relationship- or arrangement (or whatever the fuck we are)”.
You shook your head and he tilted his head towards yours, “No V, I wouldn’t”.
He sighed and sat up straight. 
“I was afraid that you were pitying me… I was afraid you would no longer desire me the way I do you. I thought if I pushed you away that you may not have to see me in such a state for much longer” he admitted, holding tightly onto your hands. 
He really was just a broken man with anxieties just like you- his vulnerability did not avert you from him; if anything it endeared you to him- he was making an effort to connect with you. He trusted you. 
“You could have just told me-”
“No! I couldn’t have- I… I’m not good with managing my thoughts and emotions, or conveying them at least'' he sulked before you tilted his jaw towards you and kissed him softly. 
“I think you’re doing a pretty good job- It really means the galaxy to me that you’re stepping outside of your comfort zone… for me” you said softly before kissing his cheeks. 
“Vader… I will always belong to you, we do not need to define us if you do not wish to- just know, no other being in the galaxy could captivate me the way you do… I am solely devoted to you”. 
Vader felt dizzy at your confession; you were truly loyal to him and that’s all he’d ever wanted (or so he thought).
But he couldn't help the nagging feeling in the back of his skull… he wanted more… he wanted love. 
“Now, we have some time before the emperor comes by for your inspection, right?” you asked, walking towards the droid that just finished his operation. 
Vader cleared his scratchy throat and nodded, “He shouldn’t be here for at least another five hours. Why do you ask?”.
You powered off the droid and turned back towards the man on the operating table, “because I think you should get some rest”.
“I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep-”
“Not in here, I want you to actually get good sleep” you said, preparing a cloak for him. 
You helped him put his arms through the sleeves and loosely tied the robe around his waist (careful to not make it too tight around his still healing skin).
After giving him a small kiss to his cheek you helped him dawn a portable oxygen mask that looked almost identical to the black mask he wore in his bacta tank. 
You pulled the large hood over his head and took one of his metallic hands in yours as you headed for the door. 
“What are you doing?” he asked in a hushed tone. 
“Just follow me” you whispered, ducking around the corner. 
Luckily Vader’s chambers weren’t surveilled by the ship’s general command center- so it was easy to sneak him around without worrying about the cameras. 
Before you entered the general corridor you told him to disconnect the cameras until the two of you passed. He was tired and agreed because he didn’t feel like arguing- with a simple flick of his mechanical wrist he intercepted the surveillance links and made them blurry as the two of you made your way to the end. 
Before he could ask where you were taking him again you quickly pulled him into a room and shut the door. He removed the hood and took in his surroundings- he was in your room. 
“Why-”
“I know you wouldn’t have been able to relax on that stiff table, at least here you can have something comfortable to lie on” you said, turning on the warm bedside lamp. 
You guided him to the edge of your bed and helped him undress; the whole time he watched you in awe. You were so thoughtful, so tender, so wonderful. 
“Here, I'll turn the pressure up” you said, removing the tight mask from his scarred face. 
Once he was finally situated you pulled your blankets over him; they were a bit short for his tall frame, but his legs really didn’t need the warmth (the prosthetics had no temperature sensors).
His tired eyes blinked slowly as he felt the exhaustion catching up with him. He tried to fight it as much as he could because he desperately wanted to spend more time with you- but he also really did need sleep. 
Vader was positioned in the middle of your bed and you were perched on the side near his abdomen. You could feel his energy draining by the second (the force bond you shared was sensitive, yet strong). 
“Sleep well Vader” you cooed as you caressed the side of his face.
He reveled in the soft gentle brush of your beautiful hands. He wanted to stay awake- he wanted to hold you.
“Will you be here when I wake, My Darling?” he rasped out. 
A smile replaced the neutral look on your face- maybe it was just his delirium but he had never used such an endearing term with you.
Sure, he called your “My Dear” but it wasn’t the same as “My Darling”. 
Before you could respond the Sith had succumbed to his exhaustion; chest rising and falling steadily (though you could still hear the wheezing of his damaged lungs). 
In your head you reviewed the events that transpired today- he was really trying for you, something the Sith wouldn't go out of his way to do for just anybody.
You mulled over your emotions and actions towards him and his to you today...Maybe his feelings towards you weren't as different as yours.
Slowly you leaned down to plant a gentle kiss onto his forehead and got up cautiously (careful not to wake him),
“Of course- I will always be here, my Love”. 
***
a/n: well well well- what do we have here?? are they finally going to admit their feelings towards eachother? who knowsss- ngl i don’t have a definite plan for this fic but i hope it’s still enjoyable and coherent for u all haha
taglist: @vadersassistant @sxoulohvn @khaleesihavilliard @kashasenpai @darling-murdock @beautifulbearpolice @salvatoresister1 @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @blueninjablade3 @jujuba096 @missmannequin @jellydodger @mirastark @wyvernthekriger @duckyhowls @monada43 @lauriidoesstuff @vienettacream @ray-rook @itswhatever06 @ilovenielperry @icequeen8043
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flamingo-writes · 10 months
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Moorning dear flamingo I come with another request that was on my mind all night after reading the last update for the 5th time, sorry for bothering you so much in advance.
So ok, I was thinking about something like this, hobie because of all the swings he usually does, he has these recurring back pains so reader makes a special oil/atom for him and they have this super cute scene of care from reader to hobes♡
Midnight, I swear, seeing your blog on my notes makes my day. You’d never bother me btw, keep dropping your ideas and I’ll make them happen 😭💕
Listen, with the whole moving houses, my legs hurt sm 😂 do I think it’s a beautiful timing (however not beautiful that my legs hurt). This took me 4 days to write help 😭
So, seeing from all older spidermen, Peter B Parker (ITSV), Tobey’s and Andrew’s Peters also had back pain, so, for things I’m gonna go for an older Hobie (instead of being Spider-Man for three years, I’m gonna go for more time)
Warnings: not proof read djsjejef
Like Magic — Hobie x Reader
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Being Spider-Man wasn’t easy. The rebellious acts, the recklessly jumping from top buildings, the constantly facing danger. On a superficial level, it all sounded fun to Hobie Brown. But by the end of the day, he always came back home tired. He loved his side job as Spider-Man, he loved wrecking havoc and bringing smiles to people, but it was a demanding job with no free days and no pay check. At most, food the people he helped gifted him, the smiles and good wishes from people. It was gratifying, but it did nothing for his tired muscles.
Especially swinging from one building to the other. The constant tension on his muscles and swinging his hips to gather momentum, had a particular rough effect on his back. All of it. From his shoulders all the way to his lower back.
People always made jokes how one day you woke up, in your late twenties, and trying to crouch to pick something from the ground, something new cracked and nothing was the same afterwards.
While Hobie could still crouch and pick up stuff, he did a lot more rough jobs with his back. He didn’t think of himself as old. But being Spider-Man was not a job that was friendly on your joints or muscles.
With every passing year of being Spider-Man, he resented it on his back.
He slid into your shared bedroom, his body tired, exhausted. You were stitching something on the bed as you looked at him and smiled.
“Hey, baby,” You said cheerfully.
Your radiant smile made Hobie feel like some of the weight lifted off his shoulders, despite the ache all over still being there.
“Hey sweet’eart” He smirked and groaned as he took off his mask and put his guitar down. He went punto your bed and cupped your face, directing your attention to him as you giggled and pressed your lips against his, humming sweetly into his kiss.
“Watcha doing?” He asked curiously.
“Fixing my favourite skirt,”
“Good. I like that skirt on you,” He sighed. “I like it even better when you take it off,” He winked as he collapsed on the bed and groaned loudly.
“Are you alright?” You asked softly, Hobie groaned in response. “Is your back bothering you again?”
“Yeah…” He sighed. “You know, swinging and shit,” Looking at you with a sleepy smirk. “Baby…”
“I know,” You said anticipating his request as you got up and looked around one of the drawers of your closet, taking out some ointment. “You know the drill…” You said as he sat up and took off his shirt and top part of his suit. Lying back down, over his stomach, Hobie relaxed on the bed as you rubbed some ointment in your hands. “Lower back?”
“All of it actually…” He sighed deeply, closing his eyes.
As you started massaging his back, he let out a soft groan. Burying his face on the pillow. You chuckled. Gently pressing your fingers, you admired the little details in Hobie. His wild hair, thin complexion, the fading scars from wounds from earlier events, his enhanced healing factor quickly erasing any tracks from previous fights.
Your hands, soft and delicate against his skin, a lot warmer than your hands, as your fingers pressed on the tense points of his back. Each touch, making him sigh in relief. Following the line of his spine, the contour of his muscles, brushing his sides, tickling him every once in a while.
“God, how do you do it?” Hobie moaned softly. "It’s like magic,"
“Well you see, when you have to massage your boyfriend’s back on a daily basis, you learn a thing or two on massaging…”
“Lucky guy,”
“You think? I think I’m the lucky one, actually” you giggled as you leaned down and pressed a sweet kiss on his shoulder, making him hum.
“Are you sure? I’ve heard he’s a total punk,”
“Love that about him. He’s perfect for me so, people can say whatever they want about him, I won’t love him any less…” You purred against his ear.
“Would it be too bad if tomorrow I decided to stay in bed with you all day long?”
“I need to go to work,” You giggled.
“No you don’t. Your boss won’t mind,”
“Hobie,”
“When was the last time you called in sick?”
“Yes, you have a point there but,”
“Let’s be real, the book shop won’t crash just because you aren’t there. I know you love working there, and your boss in nice to you, but how many people buy secondhand books on a daily basis?”
You rolled your eyes playfully. “You’re right. We don’t get a lot of people, he can handle the store on his own for a day…” You sighed. "You win, Hobart…" You rolled your eyes playfully at him.
"I always win," he said with a cheeky smirk, rolling over his side as he looked at you with an inviting stare.
Sighing and dramatically putting your hands on your waist. His stare changing into a puppy look, making you giggle as you went over the bed and laid down next to him. As he pulled you into a tight hug. Nuzzling his face against the crook of your neck, you wrapped your arms around him.
"Thank you…" He whispered, his voice much lower and softer. A voice you only got to listen in times like these. "I promise I won’t ask you to skip work for the rest of the year…"
"It’s July, Hobie…"
"It’s my best offer, take it or leave it…" He chuckled as you kissed his forehead.
"You’re impossible," You joked.
"You love me this way," He smirked.
"I do. Very much, actually"
"I love you too,"
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ithaquakisser · 1 year
Text
First Meeting
Synopsis; You and Ithaqua meet under peculiar circumstances.
CW; Vague depictions of blood
WC; ≈1.5K
Note; I eventually caved and wrote my own Ithaqua fic 😭 This is my first fic that I've ever written in a while so criticism is very much appreciated! (Part 2 is here!)
UPDATE: Oh my god, 100 notes! Thank you guys so much! 😭 I didn't expect you all to like it so much!
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You remember it all like it was yesterday. Well.. most of it. The strong breeze followed by a flurry of snow passing through your locks, the wind harshly brushing against your skin. The breeze is cold enough to send shivers down your spine and goosebumps even. Your body was trembling from the cold unforgiving and unmerciful, your hands numb from the freezing temperatures and lack of blood flow. The only thing keeping your afloat for the time being was the adrenaline pumping through your veins as you sprinted through the bleak forest. you were running from a tall figure, you didn't dare look back to identify them any further. You simply went with your intuition and sprinted as fast as your legs could take you as soon as you locked eyes with dark blue irises in the inky night.
Not even the moon was enough to illuminate either of your features, but the sight of the tall figure holding an ice axe at that moment was enough to make your heartbeat race. You didn't understand why he was chasing after you but the only thing you knew was to run away. The tall figure stalked his way through blankets of white beneath the two of you, faster than you could ever race. Harsh winds blew mercilessly whilst snowflakes kissed your cheeks. Intense, aching pain in your leg from moments before catching up to you. 
You eventually found yourself limping. That was what you believed were your last moments the moment you collapsed onto the snow. Bells ringing in your ears, your body trembling from the cold, your breathing labored. You heard a low sigh as you struggled to keep your eyes open, assuming that the figure chasing you had caught up to you just as you collapsed. You have no memory recollection of the events that occurred after losing consciousness. 
Upon witnessing your loss of consciousness the hunter approached you, a sigh escaping his pale lips as he slowly removed his mask. "What a drag. Haven't they heard of the aftermaths of blood loss?" Ithaqua grumbled, clicking his tongue while gazing upon the large gash on your calf. White, wavy locks of hair fell forward as he leaned over to pick up your body. You were freezing cold, your body lacking a sufficient amount of warmth. 
Ithaqua wasn't any different, if anything he was quite similar to a corpse. Thin, slender, with pale grey skin, with hands that are cold to touch. He held your body gently as he carried you to a much warmer environment. Slightly struggling to keep you up due to his lack of muscle strength. He was a petite man after all, he even sometimes struggle with his ice axe from time to time. A bit irritated due to the circumstances, he was merely curious. Following the trails of crimson that you left along the snow, it seemed his demeanor had caught you off-guard from the distance. 
The male tenderly placed you down at a nearby campsite lit with lanterns and a small campfire filling the silence with its crackling. Ithaqua had expected you to wake up during the time he was carrying you, but you didn't. For a brief moment, he went into a panic and did everything he could to ensure you hadn't stopped breathing. Carefully nudging you, lifting your limbs, even gently patting your face in hopes of a reaction. "C'mon.. wake up.." He muttered. 
Having little to no knowledge of how to properly ensure your current state, he leaned close to you reluctantly. Resting his head lightly on your chest in hopes of catching a heartbeat. Ithaqua felt a sense of relief when he heard your heart beating at a stable pace and had let out another sigh. His cerulean eyes widened upon hearing a sharp gasp escape past your lips. Immediately, he pulled away and scrambled for his mask, his pale face turning a shade of cerise.
"Who are you? Wh... Where am I?" You inquired, frantically looking around in search of some sort of familiarity in your environment. Ithaqua cleared his throat, adjusting his mask in hopes of covering his reddened face from embarrassment. He took a moment to regain his composure, clearing his throat before speaking. ".. You're at a campsite here in the forest. Haven't you noticed your wound?" He turned a deaf ear to your first question, feeling as if it was redundant of him to answer.
Upon his response, you had averted your gaze to your leg, which had been injured during your exploration by a bear trap that had been abandoned. The wound, still fresh, was still bleeding drastically. The sight of the blood was enough to make you feel lightheaded once more. Your head wobbled slightly as your eyes fluttered once more, placing a hand on your forehead. Ithaqua instantly reached out and held you still, behind that mask of his, his brows were furrowed in concern. "Allow me to patch that up for you." You nodded your head and the young man proceeded to gather medical equipment lying around the campsite. 
"Do you normally travel alone? In these conditions?" He asked, referring to the blizzard happening further outside the camp. He knelt beside you with bandages in his slender hands, you hadn't even noticed the moment Ithaqua had removed his stilts. He was just a regular boy behind that facade of his. "Not usually.." You replied, analyzing the young man's appearance from head to toe.
He felt your gaze on him and turned his full attention to your wound, a wave of anxiety rushing over him as he tended to your wound. Ithaqua, for his appearance, was very gentle with his touch. Ensuring he wasn't hurting you any further as he deliberately wrapped your calf in bandages. Without any further thought, you found yourself reaching out to his mask. Ithaqua froze at the sudden touch, he felt his heart race as you cupped the sides of his mask. 
"It seems I misunderstood.." You whispered. "D... Don't.." He uttered, a sense of fear and nervousness in his tone. You could only smile as you delicately removed the mask, revealing a handsome face beneath the featureless mask he wore. Your e/c eyes met the ones that conveyed storms in the seven seas and bleak winter nights in front of you. The boy averted his eyes from yours as he felt his cheeks heat up at the sudden form of intimacy. 
"I apologize for causing you trouble... I.. assumed the worst." You explained, lowering your head slightly in shame. "It's nothing," Ithaqua mumbled, hurriedly tying the ends of bandages around your calf. "Hm..? Sorry, I didn't catch that." Panicked, the hunter snatched the mask from your hands and turned away. "It's nothing." He repeated once more as he put on his mask. Ithaqua felt his heart pounding against his ribcage. He didn't understand why he felt this way, but he didn't like this unfamiliar feeling one bit. 
"You're feeling better now do you not? You should get going now. Your family must be waiting for you back home." Ithaqua advised as he stood up, retrieving a lantern illuminating the corner of the large tent and offering it to you. "What about you? You haven't even told me your name." You questioned, taking the lantern from the hunter. 
"Do not worry on my behalf." Stated Ithaqua whilst reattaching his stilts back on, proceeding to take a hold of his ice axe afterward. He turned to you, holding his mask in place. "It seems that the blizzard has calmed down, you should be heading back."  Letting out a sigh upon hearing his response, you carefully got up and without another word, you headed outside the tent. How strange it was of you to suddenly take interest in a person you've barely met and whom you were just running from several minutes ago. You could only shrug off any peculiar thoughts in your mind regarding that. 
You took a second to revise your belongings as you heard the sound of footsteps in the snow moments after. You turned your attention behind you, to gaze upon the Night Watcher before you. He slowly approached you his tall figure towering over you. His eyes fixed intensely onto yours through his mask. 
"Are you really going to leave without saying goodbye? Not even a "thank you?" 
"Well, I—"
Ithaqua had cut you off, catching you off-guard when he took your hand and handed you your lantern which you had forgotten back in the campsite. 
"Ithaqua. Remember that for the next time we meet." He stated with a small smile beneath his mask. 
"Are you saying we will meet again?" You asked, raising a brow.
"Definitely." 
"Then remember the name Y/N, will you?" 
Whilst taking a few steps back, Ithaqua nodded his head.
"Until we meet again, Y/N."
And within seconds, he was gone. Sprinting into the flurry of snow into the woods, he was nowhere to be seen. You were left with a peculiar sensation in your chest moments after. 
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mimiiis · 1 year
Text
El Sol (pt.3.1) (Namor x Latina!Reader)
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(photos are not mine)
Summary: Namor fulfills his promise, you show him a piece of your heart.
Warnings: !!All Mayan used was taken from a translator, i apologize if anything if wrong!! Reader is heavily mentioned/implied to be Meixcan— tiny bit of angst (??), some curse words, hunger, small mentions of cuts n bruises n pain, that should be alll ? !! Not thoroughly proofread!!
Series Masterlist- Prev. Next.
Word Count: 10.3k
A/n: Heey… Month and a half since I last updated 😧 hope a few of yall r still here 🤠 🫶 It says 10k on that word count but i feel like nothing happened…let me know what yall think 😭
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Where the land meets the sea, that is where you’ll find my heart
You stare dumbfoundedly at the words before you. A heart aching pang ripped through your chest as you set down the piece of parchment you held, processing the words you had just read.
You swore you’ve heard that before, felt those words. But you’re sure you have never read this book before. Maybe it was from a movie, a song, a poem? Or was it a dream?
Your wrist had that dull ache again, the one you get from writing for too long without stopping. You whirled it around, stretching the tense and tight muscles of your hand. Your brows knit together as you tried to recall why the quote before you made you feel so…empty? Something about it made your soul cry out, as if you were so close to figuring out where it belonged only to be misplaced after each guess. Like a puzzle. But you got one piece wrong, you needed to start all over.
But you couldn’t have known it right? This book and story were kept down here for centuries, hidden and preserved from the rest of the world. But there are endless possibilities of the same words being written over and over…
Thinking about it made that melancholy feeling inside your chest grow, you may have even started crying. You decided that was enough translating for the day.
You sat up, stretching your arms over your head as the rest of your body extended itself as well. Bones cracked and joints popped at the relief of not being so stiff.
You looked over to your bed as your head hung slightly upside down. The neatly folded blankets in one corner, the fluffed and clean pillows, they had no sign of life. You blinked at them, ignoring the temptation to crawl back into the hammock and go to your dreams.
That day with Namor, it felt like one. And it was all you thought about. All you saw when you closed your eyes.
That grand city, it’s sun, it’s people. And their King. It was the king who consumed your waking thoughts. Who made your cheeks flush and kick your legs in a girlish manner at each thought of him.
When you awoke the next day, he kept his word. The second you had finished dressing, he called for you. You almost ran to him actually, anxious to see if the man from your dreams was still real. And he was, the smile that he gave you was still there. That soft sincere look fell upon his face when he realized it was you who entered his space. It made your heart full and each nerve tingle in excitement.
He let you talk, let you ask questions about Talokan, his people and their culture. Though he did not go into much detail about exactly why they ended up there, he did tell you how. About the vibranium-infused herb. About its properties, why and how he became king. He told you of his abilities. How he was born with them and why he was so different from his people. The question which led him to showing you talokan was finally answered, the gift of fast healing given by the herb. You marveled at his stories, they truly were something out of a fairy tale. But it was real. He was proof, Nikté was proof.
Though the subject on why Namor’s people lived in the water was what you would call touchy. He always tensed and quickly found a way to change the subjects each time you asked why his ancestors needed the vibranium infused herb in the first place. You never wanted to pry him for answers, but something inside felt like you knew what it was. You felt silly to pray that you were somehow wrong.
So you did nothing but listen to him. Let his words fill your soul and mind with the memory of him and his voice.
He let you do the same. For each story and question, he was allowed to ask for one in return. And you let him. He showed you his home, his heart. Though it may have been nothing but a pure glimpse, something told you he was not the kind to do that to just anyone.
You told him of your mother, your childhood. Your sisters and brothers, grandmother. About their significance in your life, the lessons they taught you. He listened as well, an intrigued look always on his face as you told him a story of your childhood.
Though the way he frowned and his brows rose when you ever brought up a sad memory of someone breaking your heart, it made you want to comfort him instead. He always looked like he wanted to say something.
I would never hurt you, the look read.
I know, you wished to tell him each time.
You had grown weary of the cave. You still didn’t know how time worked in the dark, often wondering what day it was after naps and sleeps.
You craved for the sun, prayed for it. You missed the breath the wind would bring to your lungs. The sounds of waves crashing upon the shore- of children and people laughing. Music and seeing people dance without a care in the world. That was the only home you’d ever known. How you yearned for it.
You thought about Namor's promise a lot.
3 days on land each month. But when is the next month? Has that month already passed? He didn’t say it would start immediately, maybe only when he wished. You’d never asked about the conditions. You felt that if you asked again, that painful and hurt look would appear on his face once more. The way he said your name echoed throughout your mind. You hardly truly knew him but something about the way he said made it seem as if centuries of longing and heartache were behind it. You couldn’t tell the difference if your heart was breaking in agony for the fact you could not have him in that moment or for pure human empathy.
You sighed, lifting yourself back up and closing the book that had managed to keep you distracted for the past days. Shaking your head lightly as you attempt to clear your head from those thoughts.
In fact, you were almost done with Le Ujo’ . The Maya only got easier, though still tricky when heard and spoken for you, reading was not as hard anymore. You were able to communicate with your blue skinned friend a bit more easily now- having her write down things while you practiced speaking in response.
You can’t say you were getting anywhere though, the way the syllables parted but blended into one made your head spin as Nikté said them so quick and precisely. Sometimes you’d give up and begin speaking gibberish, she’d always almost start yelling the phrase she wanted you to learn repeatedly. You’d simply laugh at her rage, seeing her brows knit as she tried to make herself look more intimidating for you made you take her less seriously instead. Eventually, she’d laugh back. The cave would explode in fits of giggles and snorts as the lesson of the day was long forgotten.
You smiled at the memory, wondering where your friend was now. The roaring growl of your stomach made you realize you were now hungry, which meant that lunch was near and she’d soon call you out. There was a bowl of fruit near you that you could snack on of course but, the thought of seeing him again made you want to wait.
Heat crept to your cheeks as you thought of being alone with Namor again. It was a regular occurrence now, spending every meal together, but the idea of it still made your heart pound. You had just seen him yesterday. But the image of his strong arms, thick hands, and chiseled face crept up into your mind.
Namor, his name like a melody you never wanted to end. It was torture to have to wait to see him again.
You hummed as a smile crept onto your cheeks, biting your lip as a giddy feeling coursed through your veins. You would have giggled in glee imagining him if it were not for Nikté suddenly coming up to you and gently poking your shoulder.
Your heart leapt out your chest, turning around quickly as your eyes widened at the sudden company. A silent scream escaped you as you met her eyes. You took her in as best as you could, doing your best to calm your racing heart as she simply looked at you in confusion and worry.
“M-Ma’alobech?” She asks, hands reaching towards you. Are you okay?
“Nikté!” You gasp, the realization that it was her in front of you finally processing into your mind. You let out a breathy chuckle, grasping her hand with yours as you steadied yourself. She made no noise, didn’t do her usual whistle and call of your name whenever she entered. Or maybe she did. Maybe you were just distracted with thoughts of Namor.
“Ma’alobech?” She repeated, her free hand coming up to grip your cheek as she lifted your head. The cold skin made you shiver, the feeling going down your back. It seemed as if you had swallowed the sun with her touching you. No matter how many times she did your hair, held your hand, or came near you, you could never get used to her freezing body temperature.
“Je’el.” You finally reply, nodding as you do so.Yes
She glared at you for a second, as if she truly didn’t believe your answer. You blinked, trying your best to say I’m fine without speaking. It seemed to work for she backed away a few moments after, letting you go before giving you a small soft grin.
“Le ajawo' taak u wilech.” She says. The king wants to see you.
One of the phrases you knew word for word.
~~~~~
Nikté didn’t do your hair that day. Didn't hand you any of those fine embroidered dresses or the golden cuffs either. Simply placed large jade earrings, the same as Namors, inside your palms before leading you to meet him.
As you walked you noticed that the cave was unnervingly quiet. The faint dripping of water was the only sound besides your own breath. No sounds of scattered and hushed whispers as you strolled along the rock carved halls.
There were no signs of guards either. The other women you’d occasionally see holding fruit or fabrics around the cave were gone as well.
You thought you may have gone mad, that you were purposely blocking out noises again. Maybe it was just the time in between guard shifts, maybe more were coming soon. You thought it was all fine, that you were becoming worried for no reason. Until you passed that room, the one previously full of those beautiful dresses. Only to peer inside and see nothing.
Empty. Completely barren. Besides that vanity style mirror on the wall, not a trace of life ever being there was left. Not a speck of gold, silver, or jade flashed upon the floor.
How strange.
The realization of how abandoned the cave had truly become finally began to sink in. Your skin crawled and goosebumps spread as you wondered why everyone had left.
The previous day the halls were bustling with laughter and gossip. The sweet scent of freshly cut fruit and coconut water was now gone, replaced with wet rock and bitter sea salt.
You turned to Nikté, wanting to ask her where is everyone? What happened?
But you saw that she too was on edge. Her shoulders were tense, along with her back straightened. She had always kept her hair free and flowing, but today it was done and kept in a neat long braid, you had just noticed. Even her aura changed. That once laid back and welcoming warmth around her was set to match the cold of her skin.
Your stomach churned at the thought of something horrible having happened.
You didn’t even have enough time to think of possibilities as you crossed those small stepping rocks to Namor huts. Looking up to only see two of the most terrifying beings you’d ever laid eyes upon.
You had a suspicion that everyone from Talokan was utterly beautiful. That their race was the gods favorite and they personally carved each of its warriors by hand. Looking at them, well, they proved you right.
It was two of them. A man and a woman. Simply looking into their eyes made everything inside your body cry. Each nerve and bone yelled at you to go hide or run as far from them as possible. You froze in their powerful presence as the fear inside you grew and grew with each millisecond.
Tall, thick, and muscular, the man was covered in a necklace that looked to be shark teeth protruding from each angle. Armor coated his shoulders and neck but kept his bare chest open, the leathers beginning again at the waist where you noticed scars. Scars that looked like they had been etched into his skin in a manner the person who did it knew it would leave scars. But that wasn’t what surprised you no, it was the large hammerhead shark skull that rested upon his head like a crown. Just how that may have gotten into his hand, you could not decide if you did or didn’t want to know.
But the woman. You believed Nikté to be the most beautiful creature you’d set your eyes upon but she… she was absolutely devastating. Her lashes were thick, cast upon her almond shaped eyes as she stared back at you. A halo of lionfish scales sat utop her own head, the light of the cave gleaming softly through the sheer material. There were some on her neck and shoulders as well, poking out in every direction like feathers. Her strong arms were out on display, nothing covering the tops of them as you admired the muscles. You couldn’t tell if the blue skin made them more prominent or if it made those strong arms look softer. She didn’t stay still long enough for you to find out.
They moved swiftly and suddenly. You almost jumped as their resting and tense arms moved. You couldn’t say what you expected for them to do next but this certainly was not it.
The salute. They were doing the Talokan salute— to you. As well as bowing, bending their waists ever so slightly. They closed their eyes and bowed their heads to you as well.
Confusion ran through you as you stared at them. You moved to look at Nikté, to ask her why they were doing this. But you found no help, for she was doing the same.
A sense of panic surged through you as you looked at the scene before you. Not much had happened today but it was turning out to be the strangest by far. You almost wanted to run, to get away from this sudden change of everything. The silence,no other people, these warriors. Nothing like you’d seen before during your time here. Everytime was so consistent, you weren’t wrong for being caught off guard now.
You wanted to say something, to ask what was happening. But nothing came out of your mouth. Not a squeak or breathe as your mouth opened. So you did the next best thing. You recalled how the salute was done by the Talokanil to Namor, how they placed their right wrist over their left. And in return he did it as well, only the left over the right. You had no idea if that was the correct way to respond, if that way was only for the King or not but— it was all you could think to do.
You bowed your head in return, wrists going over each other as you looked at the two intimidating soldiers in front of you. You prayed you didn’t do anything wrong, hoped you did something right.
And it seems as if you did, for they nodded their heads soon after. They moved quickly once more, straightening and placing their hands at their sides before moving around you and leaving into the halls behind you.
You sighed a breath of relief as they left, going to look back at Nikté in hopes for answers but you could not find her. You almost began to panic once more, swiftly turning your head around in hopes she’d still be near. And she was, right behind you on her way out behind the two frightening soldiers.
You called her name, hands softly grasping her shoulder and turning her to you.
“Ba'ax úuch?” What happened? You ask her.
Her eyes meet yours, that tense look still cast upon them. Though the softness she held whenever she looked at you was there, hidden beneath a thin mask of fear.
She grabs your arms, her fingers holding onto your flesh tightly as she stares into your soul. A fire blazed inside her large black eyes, the flame bright and clear as she spoke.
“Mante u salvo in reina.” Her words were no louder than the cool breeze around you. The words were sincere though spoken rather swiftly, a familiar air around them as they settled into your mind.
Reina. Reina.
“What?” You ask. Queen, she called you her queen. You were taken aback, she’d never called you that before. It was never so empty in this cave either. You’d never gone a day without her doing your hair in elaborate ways. Never seen those warriors here before. And no one had ever done that salute to you. It was all so strange, so out of the ordinary you had gotten used to.
A thousand and more questions ran through your mind. The feeling to ask and beg for answers filled your body, the amount of strangeness that suddenly appeared out of nowhere overwhelming you. You almost shook in the want to yell each question out, to demand answers at the sudden stir in this small cave.
But instead, you just stood there. Stunned at the words she spoke to you.
Stay safe my queen. Your brows furrowed together and you continued to gaze into your friends eyes. What does that even mean? Safe from what?
Nikté could see the confusion in your eyes. Her intense gaze softened, the corners of her arched brows coming down as she suddenly pulled her hands away from you.
She bowed, turning onto her heels and finally disappearing into the dark of the cave.
You stood still, the previous interactions you had just experienced running through your mind.
“I see that you have met Namora and Attuma.” A voice spoke behind you.
It seems as if today everyone decided to band against you. As if all those around you felt the need to frighten you by making no noise and suddenly coming up behind you. You swore your heart stopped as you heard him, swiftly spinning around to come face to face with the man that you had almost forgotten you were meant to meet. His soft eyes greeting yours.
“I-uh.” You stutter, “I suppose I have.” Uncertainty rang through your voice as you looked him up and down, taking him in.
His top was bare, toned chest and abs out for you to see. Tan skin that was complemented by the thick gold and blue necklace he wore. His cuffs shone in the cave light as he extended a hand for you to take. You had still been on the small stepping stones when he approached you. You grasped the hand that reached for you, intertwining your fingers together as he pulled you up onto the small rock of an island surrounded by the water.
It was not unusual to see him like this. In fact half of the time you saw him he was half naked. But still, you never stopped marveling at his sculpted body. The way his muscles tensed and how fluidly his body moved always astounded you. When he helped you up, he let out no grunt or whimper like other men would have. He made you seem weightless as you stepped near him, staring at the strong muscled hand that held your own.
He did that alot, touched you. It was never anything too drastic, no he’d never go that far. But small pats and holds were how he seemed to communicate when words couldn’t. And you’d embrace it. Each touch calming a blazing cold inside of you and warming your heart whenever his hand met your own skin.
“How did you sleep?” Namor suddenly asks, his gruff voice bringing you out of your thoughts.
You flush, cheeks growing hot as you look up and into his eyes. “Since when do you care about how I sleep?” You attempt to tease, desperately not wanting to make your embarrassment obvious.
“Am I not allowed to care?” He smirks, the whites of his teeth showing with a smile. A low chuckle leaves his chest as he does so. You can tell he knows your true feelings.
You try to feign annoyance, rolling your eyes at him and letting go of the hand that held yours. But the muscles of your cheeks get the best of you as a smile slips and paints your face.
“You’ve never asked before.” You respond. The smile on your face only grew and soon one appeared on his as well.
Giggles and chuckles escape from both of you. The small and fake argument clearly not going anywhere as you laugh. The previous embarrassment you had vanished, the warm familiarity of him sunk in at last.
“Well I am asking now.”
“I slept well“ You reply, a soft and sincere smile on your face.
“So uh-Why am I here exactly? All Nikté said was that you wanted to see me.” You finally ask after a few beats of silence. You had still wanted to ask many questions, and needed many answers. But you don’t think that now was the time to bombard him with them all. You ball your hands into fists, needing some way to hold in your anticipation. The tapping of your foot was heard throughout the cave, echoing softly off the rocky walls.
The small leftover smile on his face suddenly grew. The familiar fire of his eyes began to blaze as he stared back into your own eyes. The intense look made you shiver, intent burned brightly on the man before you.
“You and I are going to be taking a small trip.” He tells you in a chipper tone, stepping closer to where you stood.
“A trip?” You ask, tilting your head slightly.
His smile only grows even more. He begins to come closer. Close enough that his chest is almost touching yours. The action makes you realize how cold you are, his warmth radiating off of him and onto your own skin. The cave was always cold, that was something that you had grown quite tired of as well. The use of thick blankets and long sleeved dresses while knowing it was summer in the world above didn’t sit quite right with you.
You may have also been accustomed to the fact he liked to hold you, but feeling it could never get old. His skin burned your own and you swore the heat could have left a scar. Why would you need the heat of the sun when you had him?Goosebumps cover you as he grabs your hands, softly caressing the tops of your palms with his thumbs.
The endearing look he had whenever he saw you finally returned. His intense brown eyes went soft once more, soothing the small bit of anxiety that you felt build in the pit of your belly.
He comes even closer, lips at your ear and chills run down your back as he breathes out two simple words,
“Three days.”
~~~~
The cabin was by no means large. Big enough for a small kitchen, bathroom, living area, and a small bedroom. It was what you would call cozy. Empty besides a few pieces of furniture that seemed to be made of pure and rich wood. The dark colors of the dimly lit room bled into each other as the sunlight poured through the thin curtains.
You felt disoriented. The plush pillows and blanket were a different material than to what you had gotten used to. Your arms and fingers stretched themselves out as you came to your senses and began feeling the fabric beneath you.
It felt like fleece as you gripped soft tufts of it. You were drooling, arms and neck sore as they once were earlier. Even when waking up with such comfort, your body managed to go against you.
You curled your head back, lifting it up with a light jump as you realized there was a small patch of light before you. Only it wasn’t blue. But a bright white with a yellowish hue.
You almost threw yourself off the bed you laid upon, rushing to the window. Legs giving out and falling onto your knees in such a haste, you crawled. Pulling back the feather light fabric of the curtain you opened your eyes fully to take in the world before you.
Tall grass and thick palm trees created a dense forest of green. Red and pink wildflowers scattered against the dirt floor as the baby blue sky brought a painfully bright light into your eyes. You squinted, grasping the wooden edge of the window sill and pulling yourself back up.
Real.
You tried to breathe. Gasping in and out as you took in your surroundings.
This was real.
Wood. It was wood that greated your bare feet and not the sharp rocky floors of the underwater cave. And it was a bed next to you. Made of foam and covered in thick blankets, ones you’re sure to have seen in your mothers closet. And your clothes. You were wearing the dress from your first night in México. The one he had found you in.
You pulled the thin white fabric on you, feeling it hug your skin as you tried to remember what had exactly happened.
When Namor had spoken those words, you knew what he meant. You remember lighting up in excitement and practically throwing yourself at him in thanks. The words also helped explain everything, why everyone had left, where everything was. Who those two warriors were.
He told you they were Namora and Attuma, his second and third in command. How they were to be in charge of his country while he stayed on the surface with you.
You remember that part vividly. The way his soft eyes looked at you when he saw how happy you were being told you were going to see the sun again. But you didn’t miss the slight pained and annoyed flash of his eyes when you told him how thankful you were to see your home again.
And Nikté’s words. You knew what they meant now. Or at least you think you did.
When you asked him how you would get to the surface, he hesitated to answer. He almost cringed when you did in fact. But you managed to get it out of him. He told you that you couldn’t be awake for it, that you needed to sleep. Namora told him they could not risk a human telling someone else about the location and route of how to get to that small cave. It looked as if it pained him to tell you that. Said he knew you would never.
But she was right, you were just a human. And she was the serpent gods’ second in command, so who were you to second guess her words. You didn’t feel insulted, but maybe you should have. Namor made you feel so special, treated you like an equal to him that you had actually almost forgotten you were simply human. A surface dweller.
You stretched your arms over your head, leaning back as tensed muscles popped and cracked with every motion you made. You continued to stare at the world outside, the disbelief and shock still rattled and echoed inside of you but a sense of calm settled as well.
You finally managed to breathe. Fresh air filled your lungs and you closed your eyes as the gentle heat of the sun soaked into your skin.
A wave of sleepiness began to wash over you again, yawning as you went to sit down. Until your stomach growled. Loud and aching you froze in your spot. Your cheeks flushed as you stared dumbfoundedly into the floor, standing still hoping that wherever Namor was, he hadn’t heard.
Right. You hadn’t eaten at all today.
You slowly turned, the floorboards squeaking and beneath you as you made your way to the door in front of you. Loud and creaking, you slowly tried to open it. Cringing as the noises rang throughout the cabin, you stepped out to see the rest of the space.
Air flowed through the cabin and blew the curtains in the wind. They danced as their glimmering and sheer fabric swayed to reveal a deep blue color in the distant skyline. Yellow and greens mixed into one as you suddenly began to hear the faint but still loud push and pull of waves.You moved to the window nearest to the door, rushing to the view.
The Ocean.
You could almost smell the bitter saltiness. Feel the way the sand felt in inbetween your fingers and toes. Your skin crawled as the never ending siren song of the sea rose into your ears, calling you closer to the water. And you suddenly forgot about your hunger.
Get to the water. Get to the water. Ran throughout your mind as you stared at the large blue streak upon the horizon.
You grab the flimsy door knob beside you, battling to open it in one swift motion as a strange sense of panic takes a hold of you. Your body was moving on its own, as if it were looking for something. For someone.
You almost ran out the door, getting ready to sprint and answer that far off call, wanting to rid that strange sense of longing that you hadn’t felt in weeks. Until you felt someone grab you. Strong hands pulled you back into the cabin by the waist, wrapping around you and warmth seeped into your back. Whatever trance you had been in, this feeling had taken you out of it.
Consciousness hit you like a truck again and the calling of the waves stopped. The loud song of the sea ended abruptly, as if it had never even been there. You became aware of where exactly you were and what you had almost done. As well as who was holding you.
“A el igual que le áanalte'o'.” A deep voice whispered behind you. The breath so close to your ear sent chills cascading down your back. You wriggled at the feeling.
“Are you okay?” The rumble of his chest shaking your body as his large hands pulled you in closer. You could blame it on the summer heat, or the fact that he was so warm, but your body became hot again. Too hot. Every inch of your body and nerve ending sparked in flame that he had surely lit himself.
“I-“ You begin, slowly looking down to see his tan hands around you. They were veiny, his fingers thick and strong, covered in small but once deep scars that even his healing powers could not mend back together. Looking at them, you swore you began to sweat.
“I’m alright.” You finally finished replying, slowly pushing him off of you. The warmth of his chest and the feel of his sculpted body parted from yours as you turned to look back at him.
Worry painted his face as he looked at you. He wanted to say something. You could tell by the twitching of his upper lip and the light biting of his bottom one. But he said nothing, only sighing before asking you if you were alright once again.
“What happened?”
The question sent ripples of uncertainty through you. Shit.
How were you to explain that that was normal? That the need to run to the water and dive into the waves was something he had to deal with for the next three days. You couldn’t even tell him where it came from. Why it happened. Of all the things you had told him in your time together, how could you not mention this?
You stared at him, knitting your brows as you tried to make some bullshit excuse to tell him.
“I just.. uh-“ You begin to stutter. Words fumbling and falling from your mouth before you even had time to process what you even wanted to say. But thankfully (or un-thankfully?), your stomach growled once more. It cut you off, the loud rumble shutting you up as your hands quickly placed themselves atop it. As if by doing so would muffle the loud noise of it. It may have saved you from explaining your previous actions, but it sure as hell was embarrassing.
Your cheeks flushed, going warm once more and you swore you’d eventually end up passing out from a heat stroke today.
“Hungry.” You half shouted at the man before you.
“Oh!” He simply said in response.
You screamed on the inside. Yelling at yourself to ‘stop being so weird!’ as you ground your teeth together and balled your hands into fists.
The whistle of the wind and gentle rustle of leaves took up the space between you two. Made up for the loud silence as you finally took your time to truly look at where you were.
The cabin rested utop a small hill, surrounded by an overhead of trees and native plants. There was a clearing in the distance. Large and wide enough for you to see the distant Ocean and the foam that rested upon its waves. There was a dirt path leading to it, overgrown with weeds and covered in rocks. You could almost see where the dirt and soil meet the sand, the transition of brown to a soft yellow beyond the curve of the elevation. It looked lonely here, or in other words, isolated. Far from any sign of society, or at least you assumed.
“Have you not eaten?” Namor questions you after a few moments of silence. His hand reached for you as he stepped a bit closer, hesitantly going to touch your shoulder.
You turn your head back to him, hands still on your stomach as you answer, “I wanted to see you first.”
His eyes widened a bit and you swore a sudden hint of red flashed upon his high cheeks. His lips parted slightly at your words, a soft gasp escaping him before he closed them not a second after and his hand retreated back to his side.
A beat of silence rang through the air. Neither of you said anything and you had almost started to regret your response. You could never tell with him. If what you had said was right or wrong. If you should apologize and tell him it was a joke. But the strange feeling inside you that called you to him knew you’d never said anything wrong. That you could never. Not with him.
"There is a small village nearby. There is no food here but I do not doubt there is some there." Namor begins to speak again. “Would you like to go?” His words are hesitant, almost laced in regret as he asked.
“I thought you didn’t like people seeing you..?” You ask while tilting your head, though your voice was anything but a murmur. Namor had expressed his dislike towards surface dwellers during the time you’ve met him. Always commenting and making snarky remarks about their ways. You would always remind him that you were one of them and he’d always say the same thing.
“It’s different with you.” He simply states. Using the same words he always did.
“Ah.” You hum in response. Nodding, you feel your cheeks heat once more and head begin to spin at the small comment. You truly believed he was going to be the death of you. “Alright.”
~~~
It wasn’t a tough hike. The thick bushes and branches brushed against your legs as you did your best to hold onto the bark of each tree you passed for support. The shorts you had chosen to wear rode up your thighs, leaving you uncomfortably trying to pull them back down with each step down the steep hill. You cursed at yourself for not choosing to stick with the dress.
‘I’ll chafe’ You remember thinking ‘I’ll sweat in pants.’ But right now that seemed like the better option.
After agreeing to go to the village, Namor informed you there were clothes in the cabin. Perfect fitting clothes of all kinds inside the tiny closet of the room you had previously woken up in. You wondered where he had gotten it, who had brought it.
“Change if you’d like.” He said. “It is a few miles away, unless you’d like to fly there.” There was a small smirk on his lips as he said it.
“In your dreams.” You scoffed, walking away as his loud laughs echoed off the greenery around the cabin.
Though you really should have paid more attention to what you had chosen— but your hunger had almost made half your brain stop working. Sweat dripped from your forehead and down the backs of your legs as you heaved, trying to catch your breath.
“God just how out of shape are you!” You internally screamed to yourself. You leaned up against a nearby tree, wiping the sweat off your brow. At this point, you could give less of a damn of where you were going, only when you were going to get there. Not a care in the world lingered in your mind as you fanned yourself with your hands.
You knew Mexico was hot. You remembered how badly you cried as a child when you stayed in your family’s rancho without air conditioning. But this. This was something you hadn’t prepared for. All those times as a little girl, you had done nothing besides lay on the cold floor for some kind of relief. Had gone anywhere to get away from the seeping hot walls of the cement house and the blazing rays of the sun.
It was just as bad even now, maybe even worse. The fact you hadn’t eaten, hadn’t drank water in nearly hours, and were now hiking through hot, sticky, and humid air, it almost made you want to beg Namor to fly you the last few feet to your destination.
Not even an hour above land — and you were already regretting it.
All those days in the cave, you missed the warmth of the land above. Wished to feel the kiss of the sun upon your skin and wondered why you ever hated it. But now, sitting there in the shade of a palm tree, you remembered exactly why.
“Are you alright?” Namor asks from beside you, appearing out of nowhere. This entire hike, he had stayed behind you. He simply followed, told you when to turn and to watch out where possible dangers were. His voice was laced with worry as he asks.
You eyed him, not moving your body or head as you continue to attempt to cool yourself down.“Guess.” You sigh, stretching your legs out. You throw your head back, groaning as the sole of your feet are no longer touching the rocky ground which caused sores and aches to appear, which made the hike worse. You had found a rock nearby, sighing in relief at the sight of it before going to sit down.
He lets out a breath of a laugh as he looks at you, shaking his head as he does so. “I am not around humans often, but I have never seen one look so out of place on land as you do.” He chuckles, his top lip curled far enough to touch the end tip of his septum piercing. The jade jewelry of his nose and ears shone in the small gleams of sunlight that made their way through the leaves, it was your first time seeing their true colors. They were a beautiful dark green with swirls of lighter hues, a bit transparent even with how thick they seemed to be. Actually, this is your first time seeing him in a natural light.
It wasn’t exactly him that you saw though. No. The Namor you knew was the King of Talokan. The feathered serpent God that wore regal clothes and jewelry. Constantly adorned by gold and clothes which made his intimidating aura more powerful. A man who had soldiers and warriors at his beck and call, someone more powerful than anything or anyone you previously knew.
But right now, looking at him in a loose button up and too tight pants, you almost wanted to giggle. The building irritation in which the heat caused started to slowly melt away at the sight of him trying to pull the itchy fabric from his thighs. The cowboy hat he wore on his head to cover his pointed ears flopped to one side, covering his eyes as he furrowed his brows, getting a bit mad at the fact it won’t stay in place.
Pure awe fills you as you look at him. Even as he was so obviously uncomfortable and awkward, he did it for you. He didn’t have to, you told him. But he had insisted on it. It may have been an act. A way for him to make sure you wouldn’t expose all those secrets he had shown you, but some part of you made you believe he just wanted to be near you. And you did too.
You continued to stare at him. Noticing that the few spots of skin that allowed the sun to kiss him through the leaves, you swore he glowed. His skin radiating light that clashed with that of the natural one of the sky.
You admired his slightly hooked nose, his side profile, something you adored about him. His high cheeks and the way his plump parted lips made butterflies well up inside of you, a small smile waking its way onto your own face.
“I’m not really built for land.” You say, finally having caught your breath. “You should see me swim though. My mother always called me half fish.” You chuckle at the memories.
“Really?” He sounded interested, curiosity ringing through the word he spoke.
“Mmhm.” You hum, “I don’t know why I love it so much though. Ever since I can remember, every time I was near water I’d have to jump into it. My skin would itch if I didn’t.” You explain, looking back up and to him.
He was looking at you too. Soft eyes meet yours and you feel your heart pound in your ears. He looked at you as if you were all that mattered, that existed. He was attentive, hearing every word and whisper you dared to breathe. It made you flush and look back at your feet. You studied the dirty shoes you wore, the way the creases stayed a clean white as the rest was caked in mud. You tried to do anything to get your mind off his gaze and back to what you wanted to tell him.
“I have this thing which she and my best friend would always teased me for.” You speak again after a few beats.
“What is it?”
You could trust him, right?
“It's common knowledge with everyone that I know, my love for the ocean and water. But onlymy mother knows I truly can’t help it.” You paused, finding the courage to look back at him. His face stayed the same. Those damned butterflies begun to whirl inside your stomach — and you fought so hard to resist the urge to look away again.
But you somehow didn’t. Didn't bat an eye or shy away as you finally told him.
“Earlier when I tried to run, I was running to the ocean. It’s strange- I know- but ever since I was a girl the waves were always so.. loud. They never left me alone, practically haunted me. Everyone only hears the sounds of water clashing against more water but not me, I’ve never been able to hear just that. I hear a song. There was always a voice, calling and beckoning me into the water.
“Come find me, Come find me’ It would constantly say to me. And each time I hear it I try. My body takes over and any rational thinking I had gets thrown out the window as I throw myself into the ocean. I don’t even know what I’m looking for, but I have a feeling that when I find it I’ll be whole. Complete. That the piece of me I feel to be missing will finally click into place, and I’ll get to be my true self. The person I am meant to be.” Overwhelming emotions swelled up inside your chest. As you spoke, your voice started to waver. Cracking slightly as you remembered the feeling of longing for something more. For something you need but could not find. You hardly talked about it, but doing so now, it hurt.
“The only time that I feel true to myself is when I am there, swimming in the waves as they embrace me. Each time I step and cross that place in which the land and sea meet, they greet me. ‘Welcome Home’ they say, until they finally quiet. And it really does feel like it—Home. I- I don’t even know what home feels like at this point but... Not a day has gone by when I didn’t hear that singing—begging me to go. No matter how tired I was or how hard I tried to resist, I would follow. Just to make it stop, to allow myself some peace. It’s exhausting” You let out a breathy chuckle at your last words. You could feel a lump in your throat build, along with the stinging of tears in the corners of your eyes.
Embarrassment filled you as you tried to calm your fast breathing, finally looking away from Namor and to the nearest lush green bush. Studying its complicated branches, trying to distract yourself from allowing those emotions from bubbling over and falling apart in front of him.
Though you suppose there was no harm in doing so, you had just told him your greatest pain in life. You didn’t know why or what it was about him that made you feel this way. That you could trust him with every secret you held close, share every heartache and scar left upon you, and believe he could help heal them.
“It’s uh… Silly I know,” You begin to speak again, trying to change the topic. The growing uncomfortable silence around you made your head spin and chest feel as if it was caving in as he said nothing. The air was thick again and the heat you had long forgotten had started to produce a thin layer of sweat upon your skin once more.
“It’s not.” Namor finally speaks. The words shook you, and you quickly jolted your head back to him.
His words were sincere. Sweet and tender. Not a hint of pity or annoyance coated his words as he said them.
The feelings you tried to fight off suddenly came back ten times stronger and you swore you could have dropped to your knees right there. Your eyes went wide as tears welled back into your eyes, slowly daring to fall from the edges of your lashes until the sound of distant laughing was heard.
You both quickly turned your heads to the direction of which they came. Down the steep dirt hill you currently rested utop. You hadn’t noticed before, the thick green around you made everything so dark and had the expanse of colors around you all blend into each, but you now saw the sand.
Golden sand that mixed with the brown dirt had fallen tree branches scattering across the edge of the steep slope and tiny green leaves that brought out its bright color. It was touched by the sun, the light reflecting off the tiny particles as it almost blinded you when you turned to look at it.
Sand. Which meant that you were near a beach, no, next to one. And that meant the ocean was there as well. But you hadn’t heard it. The song that always played in your mind wasn’t there, not even the distant sound of its beckoning call came to your ears. For however long you had been here, walking near it, you had not felt that shiver run down your spine. The sound of waves crashing upon the shore was all you heard in the moment you realized.
Fear, excitement, and anxiety coursed through your veins as you stood up. That was impossible, you could always feel the water from miles away so why..? You walked up to the small ledge, peering over as the sounds of laughter rang through your ears once more. Maybe you had accidentally mistaken the song of the sea for that, maybe it changed. But no, it had truly gone quiet.
You heard shouting in the voices of children blend into the crashing of the waves. Light and carefree voices that scolded and yelled something in spanish.
There were three of them. One laughing and two shouting. You could not see them, the overhang of the trees blocked you from seeing anything past the green of its leaves but you saw their shadows. They stretched long and wide across the expanse of the sand. You studied their movements as you saw one run away from the duo that stayed back.
“Sofia por favor!” A girl yelled, she sounded stressed.
“No!” The girl yelled back, in the shadows you saw her do a dance.
You giggled at it, a smile lifting your lips as you turned to look at Namor.
That tense and guarded look came back to him. His shoulders were squared and that kind gentle man from before had vanished.
Right, humans.
He had gone to the ledge with you, his firm grip held your forearm as you looked over, holding you so you didn’t fall. He hadn’t dared to lean as far as you had, his feet were flat on the steady ground as your own pointed downward to that land below.
You turned to face him, eyeing him as his jaw clenched and unclenched. Uncertainty painted his face as he furrowed his brows, no doubt wondering what to do now.
“Hey,” You start, reaching your own free hand out towards him, “It’s okay.” You had no idea if he would believe the words you said. But it felt right to say them.
His eyes drifted back to your face. Worry swelled in the dark of his irises as he kept darting them away. Back to you, back to those shadows.
Unconvinced.
You sighed and looked away from him again, back to where you had been looking before to see the children running now. Loud laughter echoed through the trees as you continued to smile at their acts.
“They’re just children.” You speak once more. “If anything, it’s a sign that the village you spoke of is near. Let’s just find it, grab some food, and get out of here. Yeah?” You looked back at him, trying your best to reassure him that whatever he was afraid of would not happen. You gave him a small smile as he turned his gaze back to you.
He still looked uneasy, but the grip of his hand loosened on your arm, pulling away as he nodded and looked off into the direction he knew where to go.
You went to move as well. Legs bending to pull yourself up the small ledge you managed to climb down to see the children better but that was a mistake. You didn't think to grab the small tree branch near you for leverage, thinking you could lift yourself up without its help. But you instantly began to wish you did as you felt the pit in your belly drop.
You practically went flying. Eyes widening as you saw Namor reaching for you, horror in his own as his hands went to catch you. But you were already falling, your back hitting the dirt hill as your knees buckled against the floor. You closed your eyes as tight as you could, biting your own tongue to let the scream you held in down. You wrapped your arms around yourself and tried to curl your knees to your chest, an attempt to protect your stomach and chest. You tumbled hard and fast down the steep hill but lucky for you, it was not too tall.
You landed on the sand within seconds, arms and legs flailing everywhere as your back finally hit the plush particles of the tiny rocks. You groaned as you arched your body, gasping for air as the fall left you winded.
You heard gasps, the call of that girls name again, and the growl of your stomach once more. Great. You felt the tiny cuts and bruises on your legs building already, pain seizing your body as the hunger you felt got worse.
The sun at last hit your skin entirely. The warmth of it embracing you as you lay on the burning hot floor, but you didn’t seem to care. Its kiss was different from the heat that seeped out from the shadows and air of the wood you had previously been walking in. This was kind, welcoming and gentle. Unlike the horrible wet and dry air that engulfed your entire body and made each crevice sweat.
Sweat pooled at your forehead as you tried to turn away from the blinding light in your eyes. You cursed, attempting to lift your head but the unfortunate effects of not eating had started to come into place. Your head began to ache instantly at the strained elevation you attempted, immediately throwing it back into the sand. You felt its grains scratch and poke into your head.
You thought the crunching you suddenly heard was of your head moving in pain. The grinding of your teeth almost clogged up your ears, blocking out sounds around you except for your silent groans of pain.
“Sofia!” The voices came back. This time they were angry, worried, utterly terrified. They repeated themselves, calling that name over and over. Growing more frantic by the second
Your eyes were still closed, unaware of your new surroundings and you wondered where you were, how close you were to the children, all as the sound of crunching sand grew louder, closer.
You risked opening them. But the light that hit your vision made you want to close them once more. Everything was white in its presence. It made your head ache even more, practically pounding at this point. But you couldn’t close them again. Can’t. You needed to see.
You lifted a hand, holding it up your brows as you tried to regain vision once more. Only this time you were not greeted by the blinding sun, but shade.
Shade that covered your entire top half. A shadow. You immediately looked up.
Wide eyes meant your own as you peered up into them.
It was a girl. Her long hair fell from her head into a curtain around her face, over your own as well. Her small pink lips parted as she stared at you. She wasn’t scared of you. You could tell by her face, amusement and curiosity painted her eyes as a timid smile began to form. Her body language could tell you that much as well. Her top half had tilted forward to see you, her waist slightly bent and you saw her brightly colored clothes. Bruised knees and scratches littered her tall skinny legs, colorful Hello Kitty bandaids hiding the cuts she had most likely gotten.
You couldn’t tell the color of her eyes, the slight blur from your lashes and the shadows kept you from truly seeing them, but something about them was so familiar. So warm and comforting, safe. As if you had peered into them before, and inside them was the place you called home.
You continued to stare at her, brows raising as you tried to slowly regain the strength that had been lost from your body. When you did, you planted your hands on your sides, before bracing yourself to lift your body up.
Her cheeks rose slightly, the curves of them going up and making her eyes smaller as she saw you slowly rise up. The girl suddenly runs to your side, reaching her hands out for you.
You stare at them. Small hands with different colored nail polish on each finger nail and more bandaids carefully wrapped around each. You look at her, and back to her hands, as if asking Are you sure?
Her smile brightens and she motions her hands towards herself, Yes. So you take them.
She’s small, but seemed to be tall for her age. Looked no older than 7. Her limbs were long, tanned and sun kissed and strong. You did your best to only take her hand to be kind, knowing that your own weight might be too much for her but to your surprise, she almost hauled you up on her own. It might have been because your own muscles were still not at their full force but she may have done all the work in helping you sit up right.
You sat there looking at her in shock, not able to find the words to thank the small thing. And you didn’t have to, for she spoke before you could.
“Te pareces a mi abuela.” She said. Her voice was so sweet. Full of childlike wonder. It reminded you of summers with your cousins, laughing for hours until your ribs and stomachs ached as the taste of candy and fruits lingered on your tongue. You recognized it from earlier, Sofia. Though she only said one word you could truly comprehend while inside the thick green, you could immediately tell it was her.
Your head shot up at that and you finally got a good look at her. Her clothes looked like ones you had owned as a child, the sandlas like those your favorite aunt always gifted you when you visited her home. Her eyes were hazel, hair a light brown that shimmered in the sun which almost made it look blonde as its loose curls flowed down her shoulders.
You blinked and swore you had seen this child before. Something inside you knew her, seen her before.
“Que?” You asked, your voice rough and dry. It almost pained you to talk, the force of your bite during the fall hurting your tongue. The dehydration had gotten to you in the few minutes you’d been here beneath the sun. This strange yet familiar child just told you that you remind her of her grandma. What were you supposed to say now?
“Que te pareces a mi abuela!” She says a bit louder, sounding out her words for you. Her lip curled up even higher, giggles escaping her as she shook with her laughter. “La quieres conocer?”
Your mouth opens in shock, brows rising and eyes widen at the words she had told you. You don’t know this girl, she doesn’t know you. She hasn’t introduced herself, you haven’t told her your name. Shit, you had just fallen out from the trees after watching her and her friends play in the sand.
You really should deny it— deny her request and go back to find Namor. Go back up that hill and look for that village with him like you had originally planned. But your stomach growled, no, roared , speaking and answering her question for you.
The sudden pain caused you to take both hands to your stomach, rubbing your belly in hopes to settle that pain and embarrassment as you felt your cheeks flush. Sofia laughs, giggles as she throws her head back while you sigh and frown.
You look down at your legs, covered in small pebbles and scratches from that fall, and then behind you. At those tall trees and bushes full of wildflowers. Maybe Namor was still there, maybe he was trying to get to you. But the children… Sofia approached you, began to talk and help you. It would be even stranger if a man came running after you, a stranger who fell from the shadows and into the sun.
If anything, Namor could follow, watch you go to the village and meet you there. Find you and take you back after you found food. He wouldn’t be far, he’d be close, but that was only if he had not gone by now. You aren’t exactly sure how well he knew you, or how well you knew him, but you hoped he knew you’d never leave him alone, not by choice. And you prayed he wouldn’t leave you.
You tried to tell him something, calling out to him with your heart and soul as if he could hear you. Like there was an invisible string between the two of you as you said, Follow me, Stay close.
You looked into those trees waiting for a response, in the direction you felt he was— where he should be. The anxiety you felt grew and grew, building up and up with each second that passed. You began to feel silly. Stupid for believing he might actually hear you through some figment of your imagination. You sighed, getting ready to turn down the young childs offer and go back to him.
Until you saw the rustle of leaves, and felt a gentle caress inside your heart.
It’s okay, I’m here. You swore you felt the words come to you. You heard them in his voice, loudly and clearly as if he were there with you. Your heart swelled at the response. Joy running through you at the fact that the answer felt so real.
You looked back at Sofia and finally sighed, letting out the breathe you held, brushing off the dirt from your legs and finally getting up. Though your knees still wobbly and slightly aching, you managed to stand on your own.
She held out her hand towards you. Small and slender, full of bandaids and small grains of sand. Her bright eyes and welcoming smile looked up at you with pure joy and happiness.
You didn’t hesitate grasp it. Then you began to walk with her. Away into the blinding sun.
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A/n: I never like my endings i feel like theyre bad. But anyways yall could probably tell where i almost gave up here LMAO 💀
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sayafics · 9 months
Text
Just For A Moment - Part 5
Hello my beautifuls <33
Sorry for the really late update, I have been slammed with family events and have more in a weeks time 💔💔
But I do hope you enjoy this chapter, I'm going to try and update more often before I go MIA for a few days for wedding related stuff (not mine, silly😭)
This is a POV of Aurora's experience after she left and why she came back, enjoyyyy!!
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 6
Masterlist
When Aurora had made the choice to leave the Intelligence department, and then Chicago, she didn't have it in her heart to discard the items that connected her to her life there.
So as days went by, her phone continued to ring and vibrate with a bombardment of messages and calls, one after the other. She didn't have the courage to silence them, nor the anger within her to turn off her phone or throw it out.
Instead, she bought a new one as she watched her phone continue to light up as weeks went by.
She tried not to read the messages, forced herself to avoid the voicemails left for her and soon they began to die down.
As weeks went by, the need for answers from friends and colleagues grew weaker as they accepted the fact she didn't want to talk to them, didn't want to explain herself or talk about the pain she had gone through.
Aurora threw herself into her work, hoping one distraction or the other was enough to pull her mind away from the horrors of her last few weeks in Chicago.
Soon her phone would only ring once a day, every day at ten o'clock. It was Jay, it was always Jay.
A part of her, selfish and greedy, found herself looking forward to those calls - entertaining the idea of picking up and hearing his voice, listening to the sounds of his breaths, seeing if he still felt guilty, seeing if he wanted her the way she found herself still wanting him.
That was the worst part.
After all he had done, there was a part of her that craved Jay - that needed his voice in her ear, his hands on her skin, his praises and his confessions, his love and his pain. There was a part of her which longed for him, that continued to yearn for him even though she had all but ran away from him.
Perhaps that was why she picked up.
It was 11:37pm when the phone rang. Jay's call had come at 10pm and been ignored. Still, he left a voicemail that went unheard, Aurora was too fearful of the pain his voice would cause her that her ache for it wasn't enough to make her want to listen.
No, this call was from Matt Casey, the firefighter she had given her phone number to so they could arrange a time for him to help her with some construction work on her property back in Chicago.
Maybe it was loneliness or perhaps pure desperation, or anger and spite which fuelled her actions, but she picked up at the third ring.
There was silence on both sides, the only sound being light inhales and deep exhales as both parties decided on what to say.
"You picked up."
His voice sounded surprised.
"Hey, Matt."
Her voice was soft, but cautious. She was unsure why Matt Casey of all people would call, but she was also not sure why she had picked up so quickly.
"Hey, Aurora," he sounded relieved at the sound of her voice, "how are you?"
She shrugged, despite the fact he couldn't see her, "better." It was a lie, but he didn't need to know that.
He didn't need to know she cried herself to sleep every night, that she spent every waking moment thinking about Jay, every lucid breath angry at him, and every calm second grieving what had been lost.
Casey sighed as though he could hear the lies in her words, but chose not to push, "everyone misses you here," he waited a breath, for a response, for a sign of regret she had left or a hint of longing, but nothing.
"Jay misses you."
Aurora inhaled sharply at that, by now she had only been gone just over a month, and the mention of Jay brushed viciously against a raw and gaping wound.
"I'm sorry," his voice was quieter now, speaking his words slower, "Kelly's worried about him. We all are."
"Jay's not my problem," her voice was shaky, but she forced her words out with conviction.
"I know."
There was nothing more to say, "I gotta go, Matt."
"I'll talk to you later."
It wasn't a question, and a part of Aurora was kind of glad for that.
"Bye Matt."
"Bye Aurora."
Their phone calls continued like that for the next few months - Casey would call Aurora every other week, keeping her up to date on things happening, telling her everyone missed her, giving silent encouragements for her to come back to Chicago. And every time, he would try and bring up Jay, to express his worries and the fears of others as Jay wore himself down with guilt and anguish. But every time Aurora would find an excuse to end the call, and pretend Matt had never said anything at all.
Jay's calls still continued, every day like clockwork he would call at ten o'clock, and still Aurora would not answer.
It had all come to a head when her phone rang in the early afternoon. She had finished a gruelling case recently, and had taken to hibernating in her quaint and scarce apartment as she readied herself for weeks under another alias.
The ringtone sang loudly as she stepped towards it, it was too early for it to be Jay, and too soon after the last call for it to be Matt.
Voight.
She thought about not picking up, but Voight wouldn't have called if it wasn't important.
Was it about Jay? Was he okay? Had he been hurt?
She took a calming breath, forcing her hands not to tremble at the troubling thoughts as she answered the call and brought the phone to her ear - "hello?"
"Aurora."
Voight's voice hadn't changed, he still spoke in his baritone rasp, slow and authoritative. A part of her was comforted by it, warming at the sound of a familiar voice she hadn't realised she had been missing.
"Did something happen to him?"
She couldn't help it, couldn't control her fears. It was the first time Voight had called her, and the idea that something bad could have happened to Jay being the reason why gnawed at her.
"He's safe," she let out a sigh of relief, hoping it was quiet enough to be ignored, but a part of Voight perked up at the sound as he continued, hoping his words wouldn't scare her off - "he's struggling though."
"That's not my problem," her voice was a quiet whisper, eyes closing as the words were repeated to her by someone other than Matt.
"I know," he was cautious with his words now, "but that's not why I called."
She was curious now, eyes opening as her brows raised in question, "hm?"
"I got a case."
"And I quit."
Voight sighed at her retort, "as an officer of the CPD. I don't need an officer, I need an undercover agent."
Aurora paused at that, curious as to why Voight would go to all this trouble to ask for her help when there were plenty of experienced undercover operatives within the CPD itself - Jay included.
The truth was, Voight knew someone else could help with the case. But over the years Jay had spent working in Intelligence, he managed to wedge himself into Voight's life with ease. After the death of his son, Voight's reliance on Jay's presence had grown stronger. In some ways, Jay was like a son to him.
So perhaps out of his own form of selfishness or an unprecedented amount of protectiveness, he wanted to help Jay.
Voight could see how Jay was breaking, could see the light fading from his eye as his prayers and pleas went unanswered. He could see the way Jay was losing weight, the way his eyes grew darker with lack of sleep, how he was angrier, and easily tired, how he was in denial and desperate.
He also wasn't in the dark with how Aurora was doing, her father frequently keeping in contact as he spewed his worries about how his daughter was throwing herself into her work, alienating herself from friends and family. Aurora was doing the exact thing she had told her father she wanted to run from. She was losing herself in the lives she lived, working a career that drained her.
Jay and Aurora were both suffering, both exhausted and tired. They both needed each other, but the pain that had been inflicted on them was too much for them to face, and they found it easier to avoid it through their own vices.
Jay's was alcohol, whilst Aurora's was her work.
And the paternal heart of Voight could not bear to hear and see the two torture themselves any longer.
"Why?"
Aurora's question broke him out of his reverie, so he spoke, "why not?"
She groaned in frustration, "Voight, I swear to God. Please. I can't come back."
"You don't want to come back. But I have a case, I need you."
It was true, she didn't want to come back. Fearful of what she would see if she did.
Would Jay have gone to Hailey for comfort? Would they have fallen in love? Was Hailey the one for him? Was Hailey enough for him in a way she wasn't?
They were questions she had forced herself to leave unanswered.
"I'll send you the case file. Have a look, and get back to me," Voight paused, listening to the shallow breaths on the other end of the phone, "the team's not the same without you. Jay isn't either, and I know you aren't. This could be good for you both. Think about it, kid."
Voight ended the call before she could reply, before she could think or before she could say no. She stood there with the phone still pressed to her ear, standing in baited silence even as her laptop pinged with a notification of a new email - the case file.
Still, she stood and thought.
She wasn't sure how long she stayed like that, but soon, she was forced to blink herself back to reality. Her eyes were pulled towards her laptop, already open and waiting for her to investigate.
Aurora probably should have ignored it. She should have gone on about her day and left Voight's request unanswered.
But the agent in her, the officer, and the soldier drilled into her bones forced her to drag her feet towards the device and pull up the files she had been given.
She had a lot of thinking to do, and a very hard decision to make.
***
A few hours had passed since Voight's call, and for the first time in several months Aurora picked up her phone to make a call.
Her finger automatically selected 1, ready to speed dial the one person she was avoiding, simply out of instinct.
She forced her eyes closed as she took laboured breaths, calming herself before she opened her eyes and searched for a specific contact.
Matt.
She liked to think they had become friends during the last few months, and she hoped that he would help her now more than ever. She wasn't sure what she wanted him to say. A part of her wanted to hear encouragements to come to Chicago, and the other wanted him to warn her never to come back.
She wants him to tell her she should find happiness where she was, but she was afraid she never would.
Matt picked up on the last ring, and the pair spoke for a long time. Aurora was surprised - there were no encouragements nor any hints she should stay away.
Matt focused on what she wanted to do, what she felt was right. The truth is she wasn't sure, but looking over the case, she knew she could do some good.
There was a new gang in Chicago, distributing laced drugs to minority areas, causing children as young as ten to be hospitalised and on the brink of death. Voight wanted her to be the one undercover, to get close to who they thought was in charge, to get a confession, or to find some evidence. Anything to get this gang on its knees, to cut off the head of the serpent from where it was rooted.
The call was heavy, Matt reminding her that she would eventually have to see Jay, possibly even work with him. She didn't think she could do that, she thought her throat would clog and her eyes would water, that her mind would panic and she would run again.
Another part of her thought she would turn a blind eye to his actions for a moment of solace in his arms, even if just for a moment longer.
She was conflicted, she was struggling.
And she knew Matt could sense it, even if he couldn't see her.
"It would be great to have you back in town. I know 81 would be happy, I'm sure CPD would be too."
"Maybe. Doesn't mean it won't be hard."
"Nothing is ever easy, especially not in this line of work."
A bitter laugh escaped her, "not in this life, you mean."
Matt sighed through his nose, a silence emanating through the phone, "don't let this break you."
"What?" The words had been unexpected, causing her to sit straighter as she listened closely.
"What Jay did. Don't let it be what breaks you, don't let it stop you from being happy even if you have to come back here to find it."
Aurora let out a shaky breath. She hadn't thought that way before. She hadn't realised that was what she had been allowing to happen, she had been allowing herself to break whilst she lived in misery, staying away from her friends and from a life she truly enjoyed.
Yes, Jay hurt her in a way that was so damaging that she felt the need to flee. But that didn't mean she couldn't go back, or at least, it didn't mean she couldn't try.
She was still wary of the pain and agony she would face when she had to see him, had to hear his voice and face the possibility that he was happy without her.
But she had to try.
At her silence, Matt prompted further, "I'll be there every step of the way. If you come, and if not, I'll still be here."
Her eyes burned at those words, she watched the lines of their friendship begin to blur as she listened to his words of support.
Matt had been there, had been a listening ear, a helpful advisor, and a beloved friend.
She was not sure if she wanted him to be more, but she knew she appreciated his friendship and his support.
She continued to stay quiet, but Matt was undeterred, "I'll see you soon, Aurora. Goodnight."
He spoke as though he knew what her answer already was, spoke as though he knew she was coming, and he was ready to be there in any way she would have him.
Aurora glanced at the clock, wondering how it was gotten late so quickly.
9:58pm.
Oh.
"Goodnight."
Aurora ended the call, and the seconds ticked by quickly as another call replaced the one she had just ended.
She let it ring, until it went to voicemail.
Only this time, she listened to it. She ignored the rest, piled in her voicemail box, waiting for her attentive ears, and played the one Jay had left only seconds ago.
'Rory,' his voice was scratchy, as though he hadn't spoken for quite a while or hadn't drank water in hours. In truth, Jay's preferred form of hydration now was alcohol, 'I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I don't know what to do.'
Jay's voice grew heavier with tears at every word, guilt weighing him down as he spoke, a debilitating weight began to fester in Aurora's sternum as she listened to his anguish - 'I can't find you. But I need you, please come home.'
Aurora thought it would end there, hoped that his other voicemails were similar babbles of mumbling and slurred apologies from drowning himself with alcohol to hide from his shame. But Jay continued with renewed vigour, his voice light as he reminisced about quiet moments he shared with her, 'we're working on a case. We've almost solved it. I just know it. You would've liked this one. It was a homicide - you always liked those. Said it reminded you of Sherlock Holmes. I read the books you bought me about him, after so long. You were right, I couldn't put them down. I fell asleep on the couch so many times whilst reading, would've missed work if it wasn't for my alarm too,' a strained laugh escapes him.
'I can't go into that room anymore,' her heart sinks as she realises which room he's speaking about, 'not unless I have to. I can't. Not when I know the last person in that room wasn't you. Not when I know I won't be able to sleep without thinking of you. Come back to me,' he spoke with a broken whisper, 'if you're ever ready to have me, ever ready to trust me. Come back home, to me. I'll always wait for you.'
Tears were now streaming down her face, eyes clenched shut as she tried to hold them back, but her shoulders shuddered with stubborn sobs. It was his last words that broke her, that tore down the walls she had placed between herself and her home for so long, that wiped away the distance she had drawn.
'You're enough. You've always been enough. I was just too blind to see it, but I know it now, and I see it now. You're enough.'
There it was. The reply she had been waiting for, all those months ago, out in the open when she had left him to stew in his guilt and misery.
She was enough, but was Jay too late?
***
Aurora tried to tell herself it was Matt's words of encouragement that brought her to this moment. That Matt was why she was here, and that every glance towards the windows and door wasn't in search of him.
She had accepted Voight's offer, unaware of his hidden agenda, and returned to Chicago within the same week.
She had gone to new lengths to avoid the temptation of listening to Jay's voicemails, hiding her phone deep into the depths of a suitcase she left abandoned in the house she had run from all those months ago.
That brought her to this moment now - refamiliarising herself with her surroundings and her friends by making a stop at Molly's. Matt was already waiting for her, with open arms and a hearty smile.
He knew she would come, and he was proud of her for doing so.
He stayed with her the whole time, a protective hand at her back and an ever-present guard at her shoulder as she spoke to old colleagues and faded friends.
But even he did not miss the way her face fell as it tracked a familiar car racing away from Molly's. He didn't miss how she became quieter, more reclusive in the moments which followed.
But he stayed by her side, a compassionate friend ready to help her deal with the brutal emotions that she fought with.
Matt Casey was a good man.
***
Aurora had come into the station the next day, greeted by cheers and welcoming hugs from all who recognised her - even Voight had embraced her tightly, a hug so warm she was left thinking about how long it had been since she had hugged her own father as she relished in the feeling of a heartfelt embrace.
Her presence had been received gracefully by all, except one person - Hailey.
Aurora kept her distance from the woman, not even sparing her a smile as she limited herself to Voight's office and Kim's desk whilst she reacquainted herself.
The desk she used to own still laid bare, but it was clean and tidy - free of any dust, as though it was cared for meticulously, ready for her return should she decide so.
She had passed through the police department several times over the next few days, preparing herself for the operation she would work undercover on. And on every single one of those days, a part of her dreaded seeing Jay whilst another longed to look into his green eyes one more time.
But he hadn't come, and she soon found herself thinking she wouldn't see him at all. That he would avoid her until she left, that all his words in that voicemail were truly drunken rambles, and he didn't mean a word.
She felt stupid, felt naive and desperate for wanting to see the man. For wanting to see his reaction, to see if he would cry, if he would yell, to see if he would embrace her gently or grab her roughly against him, holding her tight as though she'd slip through his fingers like dust.
Aurora wasn't sure what she wanted.
Aurora wasn't sure if she wanted Jay.
Aurora wasn't sure if Jay Halstead was a good man.
But she knew a part of her would always crave him, and the broken pieces of her heart would always search for his.
She knew she wanted to see him.
What do we think?
I hope you guys enjoyed it <33
Also, thank you to everyone who had been commenting, liking, and reblogging this series. I appreciate you all, every like, every comment, and every reblog means the world to me.
Jay and Aurora will meet again in the next chapter, and ofc Hailey will find a way to weasel herself in :/ what do we think their reactions are going to be?👀
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silvercap · 7 days
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HHNGG there's so many good ones for the whump drabble challenge!! Hmm okay, what about 87. Overworked! <3
<33
Also this isn't going to be 100 words gahhshds I'm only partly doing the challenge 😭
Overworked
Leon's head is pounding, the overhead lights blaring painfully into the back of his eyes as he sips at his coffee and tries to force himself to focus on the mission report he's typing up. It's been a long day--the report is due 48 hours after extraction, no exceptions--and an even longer month, a slew of punishing missions leaving him sore and exhausted. The only reason he's not still out in the field are the cracks in his ribs, but it's far from the only injury he's sustained in the past week. Advil can't take away the ache of his recently-dislocated shoulder, tied up in a sling because he can't even move it without getting nauseous, nor can it dull the throbbing lines of stitches holding claw marks closed on his back.
It takes him a long time to finish and hit the print button, frustration and a yawning emptiness making it difficult to care whether or not it even makes sense. His head throbs as Leon rises to his feet, stepping out into the office to pick up from the printer--only for Hunnigan to step into his space the moment he's outside, looking just as tired as he is.
"Can you sign these project forms for R&D? They need them for Monday, but it would be best if you could get them done ASAP. Did you finish your report?" She hands him a new stack of papers, all tiny print and official jargon that will no doubt strain his already blurry eyesight until he can barely see straight. That's how it always goes.
"Yes." Leon tries not to get irritated, and fails. His head throbs sharply. He grits his teeth when she continues.
"Good. I also need you to look over updated SOP before my supervisor gets after me for it, and I've emailed you an old report from last year that was apparently missing a few details." She sighs. "You forgot to date it properly, again. Director wants a rewrite."
"What?" Leon frowns, struggling to control his tone. There's something filling the back of his throat with acid, headache jamming fresh spikes into his skull. "That's--I still have to go over that report from Wisconsin. I won't have time today."
"I know, but they want this done yesterday, and there's only so much that I can put off. There's a new online training module, too, on the updated office software--"
"Hunnigan, I don't fucking care!"
Leon regrets it the moment it's out, eyes widening as he realizes that his hands have curled into fists, chest heaving and heart thundering under his ribs. Hunnigan just looks stunned, the concern that's already bleeding into her expression putting something desperate and sharp in Leon's throat. The inexplicable urge to cry itches behind his eyes, but he forces it down, aware that his entire body is trembling. Around them, other DSO workers stare.
"I--sorry," Leon stammers, running an anxious hand through his hair. "Just...let me--"
He turns on his heel to dart back into his office, not bothering to close the door since he knows Hunnigan is on his tail anyways. He plants his hands on his desk as she follows him inside and closes the window blinds, glancing up as she shifts closer and wordlessly puts a hand on his back. The wound beneath pangs lightly, and Leon can't hide his flinch.
"I'm sorry," he says raggedly, voice cracking.
"It's okay. Why don't you sit down? You're shaking, Leon." Hunnigan doesn't wait for an answer, nudging him towards his chair until Leon sinks into it gratefully, clutching his skull against the ache. He can't stifle a groan. He feels Hunnigan drape something over his shoulders, and it takes him a moment to crack open his eyes and recognize it as her blazer. She's looking at him, worried.
"I'm fine," he croaks, to which Hunnigan shakes her head.
"No. How bad is it? I haven't had time to coerce medical into giving me your file."
"I'm just tired."
"You're not." Hunnigan shoots him a softer look. "Let me get you some water and I'll call you a taxi. If you're done the report, the rest can wait. I'd rather have you recovering than working yourself to the bone."
"Hunnigan--"
"I won't let you do this to yourself, Leon. They're working you hard for a reason--don't let them win."
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Text
The Remedy
AN: this is super short and is entirely self indulgent because i am sick rn and wish i had a poe to make me feel better lol 😭 (sorry not sorry) also this was written while on several different cold meds so my apologies if it is at all incoherent. 😆
(Un-beta'd)
You're sick and snuggles with Poe just might help you feel a little better.
Rated: G Words: 419 Pairing: Poe Dameron x GN!Reader Warnings: reader has the flu so, illness, I guess. AO3
----
The knock on your door makes you jolt awake, your movement sparking a coughing fit. You groan in aggravation, pressing your face into your pillow as your body is wracked with coughs. You’re congested, you ache all over, you haven’t been able to stop coughing for days, and all you want to do right now is sleep. When the fit subsides, you sigh and close your eyes once more, willing yourself to return to blissful unconsciousness. The knock sounds again, and you roll over with another groan, making the choice to ignore whoever has chosen to disturb you. You don’t know who it could be, or even what day it is, and you honestly don’t care. All you know is that you’re sick and you feel terrible and just want whoever is there to go away.
They don’t get the message, however, and a few minutes later, you hear your door snick open and then close again. The soft footfalls that reach your ears are familiar, but you can’t quite place them in your current state. Deciding that whoever it is is likely not a threat, you keep your eyes closed and continue to try and return to sleep.
A cool hand presses against your forehead and you flinch slightly at the contact but still don’t open your eyes. There’s a murmured apology, warm breaths ruffling your sleep-mussed hair, before you feel the press of warm lips against the heated skin of your forehead. 
Poe.
You sigh in contentment, reaching your hand out blindly for him. He chuckles softly as your fingers clutch at his shirt, the bed dipping slightly as he sits beside you.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he whispers, pressing another kiss to your head. “How’re you feeling?”
You whine at the question and press yourself a little closer to him. “Terrible.”
He makes a sympathetic noise and runs a soothing hand through your hair. “Anything I can get for you?”
You grunt in lieu of a response and he chuckles again. “Is that a no?”
“Just wanna sleep,” you slur, turning toward him and snuggling into his side.
He moves his arm to better accommodate you, pulling you against him. “You want me to go?” 
You shake your head weakly, your breathing already evening out as you melt into him. “No, but you probably should. Don’t wanna give whatever this is to you.”
The weight of his arm around you is comforting and you feel yourself drifting back off to sleep as he whispers, “I’ll take my chances.”
Review (pretty please)?
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jittyjames · 10 months
Note
WIP WEDNESDAY REQUESTS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
waste of money, waste of man
perfidy
and
tolerate it
AND ANY OTHER FIC YOU WANT TO SHARE BC I WANT TO SEE ALL OF YOUR FICS PLEASEEEE 😭😭
WIPPP WEDNESSSSDAYYYYYYYYYYY (jcs addition it seems) (and i’m late)
perfidy
okay i wanted to post the new chapter link here but the night got away from me and i haven’t been able to look over it one last time yet BUT expect her before the night is up!! WOOO UPDATES! (so i’ll just let you all wait and actually read that in a little bit instead of actually posting a snippet lmao brb)
update: she's ugly, i hate her, but she's here!!!
waste of money, waste of man
"This town loves their rumors," Uriah tilted his head. "You feel as if you know a person before you've even spoken." "What is it they say about me, then?" Judas mumbled, not sure if he wanted to know. He knew their opinions had never been quite high. Uriah eased down in a chair of his own, his eyes never leaving Judas' face as he studied him intently, a smile still playing at his heart-shaped lips, "They say you have a taste for things of Sodom." Judas choked on his wine as soon as the words left him, sputtering and coughing at it. He was sure his face had quickly turned a similar shade of red as his eyes flew up to Uriah's in a panic. Uriah laughed- it was melodic and as smooth as honey. He threw his head back with it. It was the type of laughter that made everyone want to join in when they heard it. Perhaps Judas would have if the mortification wasn't running deeply through his veins. “I'm just messing with you. But eighteen and no intended? Practically unheard of in small towns like these. Not fond of women, Judas?”
and i don't have enough for tolerate it yet soz, BUT HAVE A SNIPPET FOR ACCIDENTAL BABY ACQUISITION JCS FIC (file title is bby iscariot so do with that what you will)
"There was a stoning," Matthew kept his voice quiet, even if the baby couldn't understand. "A woman." Silence fell over them. A quiet mourning for a woman they didn't even know. Judas' chest ached. "We'll find a place for her, then," Judas spoke up after a moment. "Someone to take her in. The life we live- There's no place for an infant here-" "Judas, come on," Peter spoke exasperatedly, "We shove her off onto strangers? People we don't know?"  "We don't know her," Judas argued. "We could find her a fine family here. We'll give her to a mother who wanted children but could never bear them. Or a family who lost their child. I'm sure we're to find plenty." "You would trust that? You? The one who doubts everyone's intentions?" Peter interrogated with narrowed eyes. "It's better than- Ow!" the baby grabbed a handful of his curls, yanking in a surprisingly firm grip. His hand flew up to immediately pry her fingers off him, reminding himself to keep gentle. It didn't prove to be an easy feat. "Ow, you little-" She giggled as his face twisted. Simon snorted, "I think that means she disagrees with you."
and sticking with the theme of jcs fics i'll give you my one other current wip in this fandom to keep them all in one place. (it's a prostitute!judas au that has a surprising lack of smut lmao bc once again, i can hardly write stuff like that) but here. behold the world's smallest snippet
"Calm your tongue, harlot," James hissed, but it only made Judas quirk his brows as he tilted his cup back. When he lowered it with a slow swallow, Jesus could see him smirking back at them, almost amused. "I would suggest you come over and make me, but I honestly doubt you would be able to afford me," Judas purred before his gaze was flickering away, "So if you'll excuse me-"
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dearestgojo · 2 years
Text
The Age of Our Youth
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Aki x Fem reader
Summary: Some loves are meant to be forgotten, but others are meant to follow you a lifetime.
A/n: I'm honestly so nervous about this 😭, I feel like this chapter is bland, but I hope y'all stick around enjoy this short series.
Genre: Romance. Angst. Modern Au.
Warnings: None really for this chapter
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Masterlist | Wc: 7.2k
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With your heart thumping against your ribs, you stare at the droplets of water sliding down the expanse of the window of the restaurant you're seated in, pen tapping lightly against the white surface of the table. You can feel the strings of your heart being tugged at, sweat forming in the palms of your hand, and your heart feeling as if it’s going to climb up your chest and spill on the table. Nothing you can think of to calm your nerves, not even the tea in front of you seems to have helped, and the nauseating feeling only grows whenever a small ‘ding’ of the door opens and closes.
You refuse to look up scared that you’ll meet the blue eyes that once you used to take your breath away. The same blues that you had looked up to as if they held the universe in them. You knew better now; years of empty ice cream containers, sleepless nights, and countless heartaches had taught you that no man truly holds the totality of the world. You were truly starting to regret agreeing to this get-together Denji had set up with the entirety of your friend group. Checking the face of your wristwatch, you notice that they’re all late.
“Sorry I’m late, looks like we’re the first ones here,” the sound of his voice sends a shiver up your spine. The air no longer seems able to travel into your lungs. Aki's voice had grown deeper. Deep and melodic. “It’s nice to see you again, y/n.”
Breathing in deeply through your nose, you look up from between your lashes, avoiding his eyes, and give him a tight-lipped smile, “It’s nice to see you too, Aki.” You pause for a second, taking in the full sight of him while he stands at the edge of your table. His hair is longer now, sill pulled back from his face with a few loose strands falling into his eyes. The dark bags from long night shifts no longer decorate the bottoms of them. He holds himself up with the same confidence, hands shoved into the pockets of his leather jacket, something new you notice. You wonder if he dresses like this all the time now. “How have you been?” You ask, shaking your head and lifting the empty cup of tea to your lips.
Aki pulls the chair out in front of you, sliding into the seat smoothly, raising his hand to call over the waiter, “I’ve been fine. What about you? How have you been?”  
“I’ve been better,” you reply, setting the up-down, eyes focused on the remains on the bottom. Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you think back to the recent Facebook update you had seen on his profile thanks to your mother, your heart aching a bit when you bring it up. “Congrats on the engagement by the way,” you clear your throat, feeling the need to clarify your reason for knowing about it when you and he are no longer Facebook friends, “My mom told me about it.” 
Aki nods his head, lips formed into a thin line, “Thanks.” 
You pretend not to notice the long sigh he takes afterward or the way he fiddles with his fingers. You certainly don’t notice the way his eyebrows furrow in what seems to be frustration at the mention of his engagement. you put the pen you had been fiddling with back into your purse along with the notes you had been taking.
The air is filled with tension, each of you refusing to look at each other directly. How long had it been since the two of you had been in the same room? Five years? Three Years? The last time you remember seeing him was at Denji’s Christmas party a few years ago, but you hadn’t talked to him. Instead, you had avoided him the entire time you were there, mostly because you didn’t want him to introduce you to the girl that was hanging off his arm, the same girl he was now marrying. 
“I saw your brother the other day,” Aki interrupts the awkward silence.
“Oh? What did he say?” 
“Mmh, not much, he just told me that your parents are selling their house.” 
You're now facing each other, eyes meeting for a second before yours drift down to the cup in your hands, “Y-yeah. It was random too…it’s been on the market for a few weeks.” 
He nods again, the awkwardness settling again, you almost want to cry when the waitress finally shows up to take Aki’s drink order, filling the quiet. You stare out the window, watching as cars pull in and out, waiting for Denji’s blue mustang to pull into the parking lot. You glance at Aki, who stares at the bottles of liquor on the shelves behind the bar. You notice that his hair is now a bit longer, a few loose strands curling around his ears. Ears that now have new piercings, the jewelry reflecting the light above you. Your hand instinctively travels to the small flower-shaped in the inner part of your ear, the one that matches his. 
“I think they're here,” Aki’s voice draws your attention back to the parking lot, a dark blue mustang with neon lights flashing under pulling up.
“Finally,” you whisper under your breath, watching as both Denji and Power walk towards the front, both laughing and pushing each other along the way. You can feel some of your rigidity loosen at the sight of them, your shoulders relaxing finally. The door dings when they walk through their loud voices bouncing off the walls. A handful of people turn around and look at them. “Oh my god,” you whisper, sinking into your seat, trying to act as if you don’t know them even though they're being led straight to your table. 
“Aki! Y/n! You’re already here!” Power greets you both.
Shooting the hostess an apologetic smile you nod your head and make room for Power next to you, “You two are late.”
“Sorry, we got pulled over,” Denji answers, knitting his fingers together in front of him, “I got a ticket for speeding.”
Power laughs next to you, leaning onto the table, her chin resting on the back of her hand, “Can you believe this dumbass thought he wouldn’t get stopped when he sped up after clearly seeing a cop parked.”
Across from you, Denji pouts, rubbing his hand over his eyes, “Whatever,” he mumbles. Turning the attention away from himself, he looks at you, a friendly smile spread across his face, “Haven’t seen you in a while, y/n. How have you been?”
Returning to his smile you try to ignore how the whole table turns to look at you, “I’ve been busy, but okay. What about you? How’s the wedding planning? Last time I saw you or Reze was when we met up after we went dress shopping.”
“She’s doing fine. We just need to find a venue, which someone had to beat us to the only decent venue in town,” He answers, jamming his elbow into Aki’s arm playfully.
Ignoring Denji’s comment, he opens the menu that’s placed in front of him, his thumb and forefinger rubbing together separated by the piece of plastic, a habit you remember him doing during all your dates. You catch yourself watching him do it, a small smile starting to curl on the corner of your lips, but you shake your head and turn back to Denji.
“Can’t you just look for a different place? There are some nice venues outside of town,” you tell him, opening your menu on the table, barely glancing at it while your fingers dance along the surface of it.
Denji shakes his head, hair falling into his eyes, “Reze wants to have the reception in that place. It’s apparently where everyone in her family has gotten married.”
“Who hasn’t gotten married in that place,” Power adds sarcastically to the conversation, laughter erupting from you.
“Try telling her that,” Denji laughs.
You feel warmth spread across your chest as you laugh with them, your head feeling like it's floating up. It feels as if you’ve traveled back in time, the jokes that get tossed back and forth between the three of you, Aki giving the three of you annoyed looks, looking up occasionally up at the ceiling as if that would get the other two to be less quiet. All the awkwardness is replaced by nostalgia.
A homesick feeling settled in the bottom of your stomach, that spread up to the back of your throat, for a time when things were much easier. When you didn’t have the gaping hole in your chest with adulthood. Before you longed for success, happiness, love…for something to make you feel fulfilled. You yearned for the carefreeness that came with the early days of your youth.
~
August 2012
The sun burns the skin of your shoulders and nose while you look up at the sky, sweat coats your forehead and travels down your back, and the tank top you're wearing changes to a dark shade and does very little to cool you down. Even the water your feet are soaking in does very little to cool down the burning feeling. You can hear the chirping of the cicadas that sing along the riverbank, the sound causing you to feel irritated combined with the heat. You’re already doing your best to ignore the way the wood beneath you is hot and uncomfortable to be sitting on.
A few feet away from where you sit you can see the two idiots who are the cause of your dilemma. The reason why you're out in the scorching heat instead of sitting in front of the ac. Denji and Power splash water at each other, their laughter and howling can be heard from several blocks down, but no one is out in the streets to complain. Only people who were out of their minds would be out in this heat. And apparently, you were one of those people having let them drag you out of your room with the disguise of studying at the library for the first test of the semester, only to end up at the small riverbank of the town.
“You know if you get in the water you’ll feel much better!” Power swims up to you, pushing herself up on the small wooden dock you're sitting on.
You scrunch your nose at her, watching as droplets of water travel down the skin that her two-piece swimsuit doesn’t cover, “No, thank you.” 
“Come on,” she begs, twisting her hair causing water to hit your thigh, “it’s not even that deep.” You shake your head again, laying down on the wood a loud hiss leaving your lips when your skin makes contact with the wood. Power scowls next to you when you don’t give in to her, pushing herself up and reaching for the oversized shirt she had worn to come here, “Fine, then we’re going home.” 
“Power,” you say her name sternly, knowing that she’s about to throw a fit at you without getting in the water with them, “ you know I can’t swim.”
She doesn’t look at you, choosing to slip into her sandals, “It’s whatever. Denji, let's go!” Power glances at you, her lips pressed into a line, “You hungry?”
You sigh, already knowing that if you don’t give in a little she’ll most likely be angry with you the rest of the week, “Yeah.” You stand, dusting yourself off, “want to go to that small restaurant by campus?” you ask, already knowing her answer since it was one of her favorite places to eat.
Her mood seems to change towards you when you offer to go there, a smile spreading on her face almost instantaneously. She hoops her arm through yours, resting her chin on your shoulder to look at you, “That sounds perfect actually.” Glancing over her she calls out to Denji again, scaring him and almost causing him to fall back into the water, “Denji, hurry up! I’m hungry!”
Hooking her arm through yours, Power leads you back to the small apartment the three of you were currently able to share, a courtesy of your absent father trying to crawl his way back into your life ever since his now ex-girlfriend had left him. It was a decent-sized apartment with two bedrooms, a small balcony, and its living areas, big enough for three fresh out of high-school students. It was located a few blocks from the campus, surrounded by small boutiques and restaurants. To think that your father had put this much thought into choosing the apartment was unreal and you refused to believe that the man who hadn't talked to you since you were twelve had put in the effort.
It doesn't take you long to enter the neighborhood, the three of you avoiding the sun by staying under the large umbrellas many of the shops had hung outside their establishments. Power drags you and Denji down the sidewalk, in a hurry to change and head to the small restaurant.
You can feel your bones aching with every step you take, the heat of the sun heating the sidewalk which then seeps in through the soles of the sandals you wear. Looking behind you, Denji is shirtless, sweat dripping down his temples and his face a bright red, you're not doing any better with your shirt clinging to your body, yet somehow Power seems unaffected by the smoldering sun. Her hair isn’t stuck to her back or forehead and there are no signs of moisture on any part of her body as she skips ahead. You almost want to strangle her for it too.
Reaching the front of the building, you and Denji let out sighs of relief, quickly followed by groans when you both remember that the elevator is out of service, watching Power take two steps at a time. By the time you reach the coolness of the apartment, you don’t want to go back out into the heat, your brain is thinking of ways to delay the trip to the restaurant till after the sun goes down. Meowy greets the three of you along with the sound of the AC when you open the door.
“I think I’m dead,” Denji moans, letting his body collapse in front of the wall ac, face pressed against the cool boards of the floor. 
You follow him, landing on his back, laughing a little when he groans, and then rolling over onto yours, “Me too.” The room falls silent while you both listen to the water of the bathroom start to run, and the soft sound of the ac motor. You can hear Power moving around in washing the remnants of the river water, and you let yourself relax under the sounds of the quiet house, staring up at the dancing shadows of the house plants you keep. Turning your head you find Denji with his eyes closed, breathing softly through his nose. You know he isn’t asleep, the lack of snoring is a clear sign, so you move closer to him, letting your head rest on his elbow, “You know, I think we should get her a pet to keep her busy, I don’t think the cat is enough.”
The comment immediately makes the two of you burst, tears streaming from the corners of your eyes, and the tiredness of the walk disappearing.  
Power walks back into the living room, the cat wrapped in her arms, “What’s so funny?” 
You shake your head sitting upright, smiling up at her while she makes her way to the kitchen for some water, “Nothing. I’m going to shower real quick and then we can go.” 
“Okay,” both respond in unison, Power making her way to the pantry for cat food and Denji dropping his head back on the floor. 
You make your way to your shared room with Power, sun pouring in from the large window in front of your bed, drawing attention to the large mess of clothes spread out across the floor. “Power! Please get your clothes off the floor before we leave!” You call over your shoulder, knowing that you’ll probably end up cleaning up the mess when you get back. Pushing aside some of the mess, you make a path to the closet that still has most of your clothes in it, pulling out a satin top and a pair of pants, expecting the evening to be cooler than the day.
You make your way to the bathroom, which is a few feet on the opposite wall from Denji’s, you and Power dictating that if anyone should break in he should be the first to go instead of the two of you when you first moved in, and check the clock on your phone. 
Two O’clock in the afternoon. There were still six hours to kill till the sun started to go down, and you could take an hour in the bathing which would leave you with five. But of course, you would want to eat before eight so really you had four, you could probably convince Denji to also take an hour-long shower, so really you had three. 
Three hours to find something to distract Power. You were going to have a long afternoon.
~
It’s still early in the afternoon when Aki finds himself standing outside in the blistering heat of the summer under an umbrella that did very little to help keep him cool. His white dress shirt was sticking to his back and he had sweat stains on his underarms. The ice-cream cone that he was holding was melting, making his hand sticky, only making him more irritated. He wants to go home, back to enjoying what was supposed to be his day off, his eyes traveling to the small air-conditioned convenience store at the end of the block.
“Are you listening to anything I’m saying?” Himeno asks next to him, paying for the ice cream she had bought from the vendor.
“Yeah. I am,” he responds, licking the bottom of his cone where the ice cream is pouring over the edges.
Himeno leads them away from the shade, towards a small bench that is seated under a small tree that does not protect them from the sun. “Okay, then what was I saying?” 
“You were telling me that the suspect we’re after usually hangs around this place and that you wanted to go out for drinks.”
Himeno sighs, crossing her legs, “I hate how you do that.”
The space between them fell quiet, both slowly eating while watching as people walked in and out of the buildings of the small neighborhood, neither of them in a particularly talkative mood with how suffocating the hot air felt. Aki isn’t sure how much time passes, the curves of the sun just starting to hit the line of the horizon; the sky is painted in a bright orange and grayish blue, and the air around them finally starting to feel cooler. His shirt is still clinging to his body, and his head felt like it was being repeatedly hit. He is tired of waiting and counting down the minutes before he can go home, but when Himeno suddenly stands, he follows her lead and comes up to his feet.
“That’s our guy, the one in the red,” she points to a man in his late twenties coming out of the convenience store across from them. He’s wearing a faded red shirt and blue cap, head hanging down. Himeno throws the stick to her popsicle and starts to cross the street, “Come on, we don’t want to lose him.”
They both cross the street, keeping a few yards between them and the man they’re following. There aren't many people on the street, so it’s difficult to make it seem like they are pursuing him, even with the distance between them it’s very evident that they are. Himeno takes her left hand out of her pocket, sticking her thumb out towards the street on the other side, telling Aki to switch sides.
Aki nods his head before crossing over, reaching over his head to tighten his hair. He keeps his eyes on the blue cap of the man, the crowd around them slowly growing as they approach a busy side of town, walking side by side with Himeno who remains on the other side. He can see the man looking over his shoulder towards Himeno, his hand turning to all sides looking for an escape. Aki starts to walk faster, soon walking a few paces ahead of his superior, ready to run if he needs to.
From the back of his peripheral vision Aki sees Himeno take and light a cigarette, her eyes always on the man in front of her. She takes a step off the sidewalk before it even happens, letting Aki know that he should start to start to run, the man sprinting across the road right after she does. His blue cap falls off his head when a car almost hits him, but it doesn’t stop him from running to Aki’s side. 
Aki’s sure the man didn’t expect two people to be following, because he can see the way his shoulders relax when he looks over his shoulder and sees that Himeno isn’t even following. The man’s pace slows down once the bottom of his feet touches the sidewalk, thinking that he’ll be able to blend into the crowd and lose his pursuer. A second later letting out a surprised yelp when Aki pushes him to the ground, his hand pushing his head into the cement and twisting one of his arms behind his back. 
“What the fuck!” 
Aki pushes his knee into the center of the man’s back, Himeno jogging up behind them. “Akio Sato you're under arrest accused of money laundering, the possession of drugs, and the trafficking of drugs along with several other misdemeanors. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you,” she recites, just as two cop cars pull up next to them.
Aki cuffs both arms of the man below him before forcibly pulling him up and handing him over until one of the officers walks up to him. Looking he feels some of the stress from his shoulder release when he sees Angel, a friend of his from the academy. “Damn, already caught your first criminal before me.” 
Smiling, he shoves Akio towards Angel, “Of course I did.” Aki feels his heart pounding in his chest, his head feeling light. He’s breathing heavily, adrenaline running through his veins still. He lets out a shaky laugh, head tilting back to look up at the sky, the sun burning his eyes.
Angel smiles at him, reaching up behind his head to tie his hair, “Well that’s great, I’m proud of you.” The back of the car is shut, the door automatically locking, “We should celebrate later,” Angel looks over the top of the car, his partner getting in, “Text me and we’ll make plans.”
“Sure. Bye, man.” Aki waves a quick goodbye. He resumes looking up at the clear sky, his heart still pounding in his chest.
Himeno walks up next to him, lighting a new cigarette, smoke coming out of the corner of her lips, “Now that we’re done here, how about we go out and eat something nice? There’s this nice little restaurant around here.” 
~
You somehow manage to delay your trip back out into the hot weather until the sun is just starting to fall below the skyline, painted in bright pinks and pastel purples, by offering to trim Denji’s hair and then forcing him to shower. The air feels much cooler now, small gusts of air blowing, the skirt of the dress you're wearing fluttering around your knees. There are more people out on the streets now that the sun has gone down, some are sitting on the benches outside of convenience stores and restaurants while others order from the food trucks that are parked on the edges of the sidewalks. Couples are walking, their hands intertwined and smiles spread across their faces, making it difficult for your trio to walk down the narrow walkway. 
Power and you walk with your arms hooked to each other, Denji walking right behind you in between your arms, walking in the inner part of the sidewalk, you walk closer to the building. You catch endings of conversation, Power nudging your side when someone says something juicy, all of you finishing the ending with your version of what the conversation could be about. Lips inches apart and foreheads less than an inch from touching. Both of you leaning towards each other, whispers and giggles reaching Denji. 
When you reach the small restaurant, the blue light from the fluorescent bulbs comes out through the window, lighting the small piece of sidewalk in front of it. There are only two other small groups of people inside spread out. The three of you walk in and head towards the rectangular window that takes up the center of the furthest wall from the entrance. Pen, who owns the place greets you, her salt and peppered hair pulled back out of her face into a tight bun. She greets the three of you with a wide smile like she does every time you come in, resting her elbows on the counter, “Hi guys, what can I get you?”
“I’ll have the same as usual,” Denji answers, already walking towards the usual spot you sit in near the back corner, a smiley face neon sign each face colored a different color, and four different colored chairs. 
You and Power lean over the counter, looking over the menu that’s taped onto it, though you both know you're going to order the same thing. Pen hums, her nails light beating against the surface. “We do this every time, and you girls always end up ordering the same thing,” She teases. 
“You’re right, I’ll have what I usually get, but I’ll have tea instead of strawberry soda,” you respond, pushing yourself off the counter to head to your table. You sit on the opposite side of Denji, leaning back against the wall and resting your heels on the edge. Looking at Denji, running your fingers along the surface of the table, “I haven’t seen Reze lately.”
Running his fingers through his hair, he looks up at you, “Uh, yeah…we sort of had a fight last Saturday, and I haven’t been able to get in touch with her.” 
“Oh. Well if you want to talk about it or need advice, Power and I are here for you. You know that right?”
Denji nods, “I do.”
“Good.”
Power joins you at the table, her fingers reaching for the hair band that’s around your wrist, “Pen said our food will be out in a few minutes. What are you two talking about?”
“Just talking about how Reze hasn’t been around much,” you answer, looking at Denji out of the corner of your eye.
Smiling teasingly, Power leans back in her chair, only two of the legs remain on the floor, “What did she get tired of you and dump you? I mean I get why she would.” 
From the corner of your eye, you see Denji’s jaw clench, and his knuckles turning white. You lightly kick one of Power’s chair legs, “Power stop. They just had a very bad fight, and she hasn’t gotten back to him. Let’s change the subject, and try to have fun.”
The door dings open, your attention snapping towards, and a woman with short hair steps in, a cigarette dangling from her lips. She’s dressed in a black suit with high heels, an eye patch covering her right eye. She’s followed by a younger man, dressed in a matching suit, the tie undone, and jacket thrown over his shoulder. He has long hair, that is pulled out of his face, and a stern look on his face that doesn’t match his young appearance. 
“He's kinda cute,” you mumble just loud enough for Power and Denji to hear you.
Power smiles, her manicured nail between her teeth, “Bet you can’t talk to him.”
You look at her, raising an eyebrow, “What? Are you serious?”
“Of course, it’s easy money for me.” She turns towards Denji, “You in?”
Denji looks up at the two of you, eyes crinkling a little on the edges as he smiles a little, “Sure.”
“Okay, what are we betting?” You take your feet over the edge of the chair onto the floor and lean closer to Power.
Leaning in towards you she smiles, “How about a month's worth of chores?”
Your nails tap on the table, “Okay, but it doesn’t include laundry.”
“Okay, but you have a fifteen-minute time limit.”
Extending your hand towards her, “Deal.”
“Deal,” Power takes your hand and you both shake.
Pen walks to your table with your food, placing it on the table along with your bill. “You guys enjoy,” she says before turning around and walking back to the counter to take the newcomers' orders.
The minutes pass and the two take a seat a few tables down from where you’re sitting, chatting quietly among themselves. Power keeps shoving her elbow into your side while you eat, she and Denji laugh every time you spit up your food when she does. Almost every person, in the restaurant, turns to look at the three of you, annoyed looks painted across their faces. Denji and Power have no problem ignoring the ugly looks, however, you on the other hand give apologetic smiles. 
“It’s been eight minutes,” Power whispers, “I knew you wouldn’t do it.”
You shove the last of your food into your mouth, “I’ll do it, just waiting for the right moment.”
“Sure.”
From the corner of your eye, you see the cute guy stand up and walk out the front door, the bell above it ringing when the door opens and closes. “Okay, I’ll be right back,” you stand and lean over Power’s shoulder to whisper “You two better keep your end of the bet,” before walking out of the restaurant.
The night has fully taken over, the moon fully visible in the dark sky along with the twinkling stars. It’s still early enough that a few people are still out on the streets, eating at food trucks and sitting along the sidewalk enjoying ice cream. The man you came chasing after is leaning against the arm of the bench that rests between the restaurant and the boutique next to it, his phone in his hands.
You clear your throat, and swing your body from side to side, looking around into the busy street, “It’s a nice night out.”
He looks up from his phone, eyeing the space around where you both stand to see if you're talking to him or someone else. When he sees that it’s only you and him he answers, a curt answer before returning to his phone, “Yeah I guess.”
You feel uncomfortable when it’s quiet again. A cool breeze flows through, lifting the bottom of your skirt an inch. You take in a deep breath just as it does, your nervousness calming a bit when you smell the fresh scent of freshly mowed grass mixed in with the aroma of the foods being cooked. You look at the man again, side-stepping towards him, and commenting again, “It’s much better than the hot night.” He looks up, his eyes making direct contact with yours. You want to turn away, your face burning, but the dark blue of his eyes draws you in. Swallowing the spit in the back of your throat you start to rock yourself again, “Don’t you think?
“Yeah, I guess.” He smiles when he sees how awkward you’re being as you sway on the heels of your feet.
You cover your face with your hands, “I’m so sorry, my friends and I made a bet, I didn’t mean to bother you.”
“It’s fine. I got to meet and talk to you. Names Aki.”
You look at him, smiling a little, “It was nice meeting you, Aki.” 
Aki can feel the heat rising to his face and his heart skip a few beats when you say his name for the first time. He doesn’t understand the feeling that is swirling in his stomach, and why his hands are sweating so badly. He just met you, so why does the sight of your smile make his heart beat irregularly in his chest? Swallowing the spit in his mouth, he returns your smile, “It was nice meeting you too, y/n.” Aki’s eyes travel behind you, watching as your two friends step out of the restaurant, leftovers in their hands. He points behind you, “Your friends are out.”
You peer over your shoulder, “Oh, I guess they are. I should go. I’ll see you around.” Taking one step back you raise your hand giving him a small awkward good-bye wave. 
Aki watches you walk back to Power and Denji, his stomach still doing flips, and heart pounding. He watches you smile a big bright smile at Power, your arm hooking with hers, and the three of you start to walk away in the opposite direction. You look over your shoulder one last time, your cheek resting against Power’s shoulder, and give one last smile. He’s still looking in the direction you walked off in long after the three silhouettes disappear into the distance, the lights on the street buzzing, and he wonders if he’ll see you again soon. 
~
Present Day
As the afternoon turns to night, the table becomes louder and louder, Power and Denji telling you of mishaps that had happened to them while you were busy with your own life, and Aki's body seems to relax against the chair he’s in, speaking and laughing more than he did at the start of the night. The plates of food from your table had long since been removed, replaced by alcoholic drinks and dessert. The tension in your body releases the more you drink and laugh, time feeling as if it's barely moving. 
It’s not until a different waiter than the one who had first served comes up to your table with a check in hand, telling you that they're about to close that you realize how late it is. Looking around you see that the restaurant is empty excluding the employees.
“Oh, we’re so sorry,” you say, reaching into your bag and pulling out your card like the rest of the table. 
“Fuck, Reze is going to be pissed,” he stretches the last of his sentence, “I told you I’d only be gone an hour tops…it’s been like four.”
Power laughs at him, raising the straw from her drink to point at him, “And that is why I don’t date.”
“You don’t date because everyone who dates you finds you annoying,” Denji throws back, moving out of the way when she throws an ice cube at him. You and Aki laugh next to them, your eyes and mind dazed over by the alcohol.
“We should do this again soon. I missed hanging out with you guys. Even you Aki.” You blurt out, eyes on the two idiots, not noticing the way Aki gawks at you. 
It’s the first time since Power and Denji arrived that you acknowledge his presence, even though he’s sitting right across from you. And the fact that you finally did has the inside of his chest feeling a little warm, something that he hadn’t felt in a while. 
Aki answers in a quiet breath when the other two don’t hear you over their play fighting, “We should.” A rush of emotions goes through him when you look at him, your eyes glazed over and your lips slightly parted. Time stops for the both of you.
The waiter comes back with your cards and receipts, walking all four of you out the front of the restaurant and locking them behind you. All four of you stare at the closed door.
“I think they didn’t want us to come back in,” Denji says, turning and walking towards his car. 
“You’re driving? Didn’t you drink?” you ask, the floor underneath you feeling unsteady with every step you take.
Denji shakes his head, nodding towards a wobbling Power, “I have her to take care of.” He looks around the parking lot, “Do you need a ride home? I don’t see your car.”
“I took a Lyft here. And no, I don’t want to bother you, my place is the other way,” you pull out your phone holding it up facing him, “I’ll just take one back.”
“Not going to happen.” Aki interjects, “It’s late, and there are a lot of creeps, I’ll drive you home.”
“There’s no ne-”
“I’m not taking no for an answer. It’s not safe,” he interrupts your protest.
Denji speaks up as he steps backward towards his car, “Aki’s right. If you don’t want me to drive you home, let him. I think we would all feel much relaxed knowing we all got home safely.” 
There’s a need to protest again, but instead, you just nod, hands clasped in front of you. You both watch as Denji wraps an arm underneath Power’s underarms and waves goodbye before loading her into the passenger side of the car.
“Come on, I’ll drive you home.” Aki sighs, hands shoved into his pockets, turning and walking away from you. With no other choice, you follow him to a white BMW, sweat forming in the palms of your hands, you wish you were someone else right now.
You get into the passenger side, hands folded neatly in your lap as Aki starts to the car, eyes flickering across the clean interior of the car and sniffing the faint scent of cigarettes. “I didn’t know you smoked.” 
Aki’s fingers hover the screen in his car, a keypad popping up, “Yeah, I guess we haven’t seen each other in a while. Do you still have the same address?”
You nod your head and hum a response, “Yeah I guess we haven’t, and kinda, I’m still in the general area. I moved to a new condo a year ago. Here I’ll type the address.” You lean forward to put it in, your hand pushing his hand out of the way. The quick and simple touch of your skin touching his causes your face to burn, “Sorry.” 
The car falls silent, except for his music, as he pulls out of the parking lot. You watch buildings pass you, feel the movement of the car when it turns, and can hear the thumping of Aki’s fingers against the steering wheel above the soft sound of the engine whenever the car stops at a red light. Neither of you says anything for a few minutes before the silence becomes unbearable.
“So how are things with your dad?”
“Um, th-they’re okay. He’s getting married, so that’s exciting,” You turn to look at him. 
Aki’s fingers stop tapping against the wheel, blue eyes glancing at the GPS, “To Tomoe?”
You shake your head, laughing awkwardly, “They broke up a long time ago. No, um, it’s some woman he met abroad. Half his age.”
He reacts with a long, “Oh,” his fingers resuming their tapping on the center of the horn. 
“Yeah,” you stretch out, the tense silence settling between the two of you once more. Staring out the window again, you notice that you're now in your neighborhood. The streets are empty and the lights to the windows of the buildings are all shut off, the only source of light coming from the street lights that run along the edge of the sidewalk. 
Aki pulls up next to the condo building where you live, the lights from the lamps outside lighting the space up to the large glass door. The two of you remain still and quiet, staring at the road ahead. You feel as if you should say something. Feel the need to finish, and get closure, on the conversation from five years ago. 
You can still hear the echo of the words you said that you didn’t mean and can feel the knot from that day lodged in your throat every time you think about it. Glancing at Aki you wonder how he feels about how you left things if he felt the same nauseating turn of his stomach when he remembers. 
“Aki?” You whisper, swallowing the spit that forms in the back of your throat.
“Mmh?”
He turns towards you, both of his hands still resting on the wheel. He isn’t smiling at you, but he also doesn’t seem to be having the same emotional turmoil that you are, his expression unreadable. You open and close your mouth, losing the train of thought on what you wanted to say to clear the air, but with the way Aki appears unaffected by your closeness in the small space of the car, you decide that maybe he doesn’t need the same thing closure you do. “Um, Thanks for driving me home. You didn’t have to.”
He smiles at you, “It was nothing, and I really wouldn’t have been able to sleep if I hadn’t.”
“Well thanks anyway,” you reach for the door handle and open the door “I-I should go in.” You get out of the car, “Bye, Aki.”
Aki lifts one of his hands and gives you a small wave, “Good-night, y/n.”
You close the door behind you and walk a few feet up the pathway to the door, pulling your keycard from the back of the pocket attached to your phone. The ground underneath you still feels a little unsteady, but you manage to get to the front of the building, up the three stairs, and into the building. 
When you're closing the door you notice that Aki’s BMW is still parked outside. His dark tinted windows are rolled up, and though you can’t see him you still raise both your hands and wave a last goodbye smiling with your head tilted to your left, before stepping away and heading towards the elevator. Your phone dings a second later, a tiny smile spreads across your face when you see Aki’s name pop up again for the first time in years, and you open the text, the smile spreading a little wider despite the words deepening the ache in your chest.
Sleep tight. See you around.
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explicit-tae · 2 years
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WIP GAME with Cruel Intentions pllllzzzzzz my soul aches for the update but a WIP will do 😭🤞🏻😭
No problem 😅 It's kinda long but here's a little snippet!
Jin-Seon squirms in Jungkook's arms, his head towards his chest and mouth open trying to feed on nothing. Jungkook frowns, his bottom lip forming a pout. "You must be hungry." he murmurs down to his son before standing slowly, afraid if he done so far too quick he'd drop Jin-Seon. 
Jungkook makes his way to you. You weren't far, only in the next room organizing Jin-Seon's nursery when he arrived frantically. Jin-Seon was seconds away from crying, the low whimpers telling him so. "He's hungry." Jungkook says as he enters. You're folding Jin-Seon's clothes when he does. "I don't want him to cry."
You roll your eyes before turning to Jungkook. You wouldn't admit it - but you found it cute how concerned Jungkook was whenever Jin-Seon cried. You've dealt with children since a young age with the amount of nieces and nephews you had and knew that them crying would be the least of your worries. You attempted to tell Jungkook this - yet he was convinced that whenever Jin-Seon cried it would be the end of the world. 
"Do you want to feed him?" you tilt your head. "Jae-Beom got me a pump as a late gift. I only got enough for one feeding. It's warming up now."
Jungkook's eyes widen as his eyes watch you go around Jin-Seon's nursery and grab what you thought he needed to feed him. He was nervous - he never fed Jin-Seon before since you breast fed him, but he enjoyed watching. 
You usher him to sit down and place the bottle in his hands. Jin-Seon was seconds from crying and Jungkook's nerves were kicking in. "What if he doesn't want me to?" he questions. "He's use to you."
"If he doesn't like it then we can switch." you responded. "I think you give him too much power. He's a baby."
Jungkook remains quiet but listens on how you instruct him to put the nipple in his mouth. He does and sighs in relief that Jin-Seon begins to suck without a care who was feeding him. He smiles a low smile the way Jin-Seon stops squirming. 
You go back to folding Jin-Seon's clothes for the next few minutes, organizing everything around you for an easy find. When you turn around to check on Jin-Seon, your eyes catch Jungkook's appearance and are taken aback. "Are you crying?" you whisper, unsure if you were intruding on a personal moment or not.
"I can't take back what I've done to you Y/N. I wish I would've listened when you begged me not to." Jungkook wipes a few tears away with his shoulder, careful not to disturb a carefree Jin-Seon. "I love you with all my heart for making me a father but I hate myself for how it happened. I know..." Jungkook's eyes stare at Jin-Seon, his eyes watering even more. He wasn't a cryer - especially not in front of others. But the thought of his son growing older and despising him for what he's done to you makes his blood run cold. "I would do anything for you and Jin-Seon and I will spend forever trying to redeem myself."
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moriartyluver · 9 months
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🦢 anon is back with the song analysis again
ok but teen fl + teen idle by marina is soo real
“I wanna be a bottle blonde I don't know why but I feel conned”- her feeling like liam is more privileged than her and feeling slightly jealous of him because she saw him as a white b who got everything handed to him
“I wanna be an idle teen I wish I hadn't been so clean”- revenge revenge revenge
“I wanna stay inside all day I want the world to go away”- her being an introvert as a teen and only ever studying and maybe occasionally socialising
“I want blood, guts, and chocolate cake I wanna be a real fake”- her putting on a facade
“Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible Feeling super, super, super suicidal”- the third line here is kinda like her being 16 and committing crimes ig?? Also fl low-key wants to unalive herself but knowing her she probably won’t try because of all her responsibilities
“The wasted years, the wasted youth The pretty lies, the ugly truth”- I know we didn’t get an exact thing abt fls relationship with Theo the pedo but I’d say it’s implied they probably did the deed. Like how when they were dancing in the Ashfordshire arc, liam said something abt fl having multiple partners in other aspects, also in the past chapter u mentioned that fl would visit Theo at night. I think she’d lie to herself and act as if she was just seducing him but really she was probably getting abused by him
“And the day has come where I have died Only to find, I've come alive”- fl having her grand duchess glow up post timeskip 👏 👏
“I wanna be a virgin pure A twenty-first century whore I want back my virginity So I can feel infinity”- fls issues with intimacy with Liam because of Theo. She probably never enjoyed the devils tango until liam came around because she was so used to using it for her ulterior motives 😕😕 also she always is getting fetishised and flirted with by the other noblemen to the point she felt she had to marry a guy she considered her biggest rival just to shake them off only for them to keep going and not understand how uncomfy she was
“I wanna drink until I ache I wanna make a big mistake I want blood, guts, and angel cake I'm gonna puke it anyway”- in the Noahtic arc, fl got drunk a bit and was probably using it as escapism for her issue of an heir. Also fls implied Ed ^^
“I wish I wasn't such a narcissist I wish I didn't really kiss The mirror when I'm on my own Oh God, I'm gonna die alone” - fl has slight self esteem issues imo so this lyric makes sense especially because she seemed to be a little meaner as a teen and rightfully so bc her brother literally died because of the British ofc she won’t like any of them. In like the second chapter fl made a comment abt dying alone and I thought that fits
“Adolescence didn't make sense A little loss of innocence The ugliness of being a fool Ain't youth meant to be beautiful?”- fl was suffering since she was like 9 and I don’t think anyone reached out to her tbh if she was really killing whole families at 16. She was probably hella merciless and numb poor girl. She also probably lost her innocence because of Theo and other weird noble guys
also she fits seventeen by marina too. If she was an mtp character she’d probably get angst edits to that one bit “I was brought up as a baby well you don’t know fuck about my family could never tell you what happened the day I turned seventeen the rise of the king and the fall of a queen”
fl is just sooo Marina coded idc
ALSO I AM BEGGING YOU TO GET SOME REST GIRLIE. u usually update like every day. We don’t need u losing sleep over false lovers I promise. Get ur beauty sleep 🙏
Stop this is literally a whole essay 😭 u are right abt most of it tho
Theo is literally such an asshole I’m glad fl killed him and tortured him
Bro was 20 and courting a 16 year old but wasn’t even following proper etiquette rules
Fl finds it so difficult to be affectionate with Liam all because of that stupid mf.
Grand duchess fl 🛐
Fls parents tried to reach out to help her with her grief when she was a kid but they were both suffering themselves and they were trying to find out who was responsible for fls brothers death while also suffering responsibilities as the grand duke and duchess. They tried but fl shut everyone out because she only wanted revenge
Fl also has really terrible self esteem issues but she doesn’t let it show at all. From her perspective William was just an asshole and she felt like it was unfair everyone treated him better than her. Paris and rory esque relationship tbh
Tbh fl would get edited with like every Marina song she’s just that Marina coded
Also I’m currently on holiday so I’m trying my best to get some rest after my exams. I’ll try to be constant with updates but tbh I don’t think I’ll update until I’m back home because my internet keeps getting fucked up lol
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thexflyingxpotato · 6 months
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Wednesday, November 15
2023
(10:02pm)
Today I woke up feeling sad and beat up, it was gloomy and raining outside so I went downstairs to prepare some tea. AND GUESS WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!?! I was surprised with two kittens 😭😭😭
“Did you see the cats yet?”
Cats? Wait— cat? MY cat? The one your aunt asked if I wanted one???
“Yeah! They’re right here *opens mesh bag on couch that’s been chilling there for a while* see? Take your pick. One is going to my sister”
🥺 they’ve been so quiet and haven’t meowed… I didn’t even know there were cats in the house. *looks inside and dies of cuteness*
———
I woke up sad but now I have kittens. It’s almost like… god really said “here, some cuddle cats for your recent troubles.”🥹
———
Also, I spoke too soon. So that whole, “I came home feeling light and not heavy like I expected”??? Well SURPRISE BITCH! Cuz the cPTSD has sunk in and been triggered. — I literally can feel my adrenaline rushing and pooling up the sides of my neck and tension concentrating in my upper back and shoulders. >.<
I’m easily irritable and am finding myself snapping at literally everything. The sad part of it all is the fact that I tried to take my highest dose of ashwaganda like I used to, to manage the adrenaline fatigue (I take it when I need it, and then take breaks so my body doesn’t build a tolerance) BUT THIS TIME ITS SO MUCH IT ISN’T WORKING AT ALL!!! 🥲😭
I noticed I hadn’t ate for two days straight… and it dawned on my only last night that seeing my mom at the viewing triggered me. And now, I am back in survival mode.
The first time it took me half a year to get my body to calm down and feel safe again after YEARS of abuse. Then one encounter happened and it took me 4 months. Then I was forced to run back into her just so I could have closure and grieve (my grandma died and it’s my mom’s mother… so no way I wouldn’t not see her there). And I’ve been looking for someone who would take me in for psycho therapy, but now I’ve been gifted cats to help me through this tough time 🥹🙏🏼
Life’s crazy but I feel blessed rn.
(Super quick update:
-my landlord got petty and anonymously reported my car to get it towed
-I then got stressed out about having enough and finding somewhere to get my remaining cars squared away so my landlord couldn’t have them taken away too
-my grandmother died
-I had to see my mom (my abuser) at my grandmas viewing. I had so much anxiety about running into fake ass family and having them tell me to mend things with my mom. —— turns out, everyone let me grieve and never brought it up.
-only my dad brought up that I should bring my son around more often (if at all) because “life is short and you might feel guilty about not doing so” 😒 how rich. My parents still owe ME an apology. And I’ve done my part and tried to fix things but they keep hurting me over and over again. I told him “I did my part, I feel no guilt.” Bold of him to assume I feel guilty for not seeing my grandma as much as I could in her last days… I spent my whole life with her and visited and even slept overnight with her when she was in the hospital when I could.
I don’t feel guilty. I feel at peace that she’s able to rest and not suffer in her aching body anymore. I also won’t feel guilt when my mom passes as he’s unaware of the horrible conversation she and I last had. If anything, he’s projecting his guilt onto me and trying to pass off his pride for mine.
-when I came home from the viewing I didn’t feel as heavy (energetically) as I had anticipated. Which was a good thing?
-but the next day I had a fever and body aches… then the next morning after that I felt a lot better but I kept spitting out blood and throwing up “nothing”. — I was worried about if I had worn all black to the viewing, it would absorb everyone’s energy. So I wore a white blouse and kept my hair in a bun. The part that sucked was that everyone was placing their hand in the middle of my upper back to say “sorry/ condolences” 😭😭😭 all their sadness and empathy, but also their fake ass vibes and envious energies (they were upset that I had a baby and hadn’t grown or changed in body figure like they expected me to) all transferred into the area between my shoulders. Where all the pain and “sickness” was felt.
-I had asked for only one cat… but now I think I was meant to have two this time around.
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OH MY GOD NANA 😭😭 MY BACK HURTS SO BAD. I WAS WRITING AND EDITING THAT SHIT FOR LIKE 4 HOURS!!
worst part.. it wasn't even that long 💀 like 700 words. BUT FINDING IMAGES I WANT TO USE AND POST BREAKS HAIAHSNSGSSKA GOD IT WAS TIME CONSUMING.
but i have officially created a blog and posted my first fic and set up a master list, about me, and a recent fic area 🫡 i spent at least 30 minutes looking at tags so i could figure out which ones i wanted to use. but goodness me. that was so much work. i'm proud of myself tho. for my first fic ever, i think i did a decent job! i desperately need to pop the fuck outta my back tho :D.
the entire time i was just thinking of that one justin bieber video where he's going "oh hey.. just working.. working hard so i can please you." LMFAO.
anyways there is my update 🫡 it was lots of work but i had a lot of fun, and giggled while writing it too ngl. THANK U FOR GIVIBG ME THE LAST PUSH I NEEDED TO START A BLOG AFTER MONTHS OF THINKING ABT IT HAHAHA
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!! THE BACK ACHE IS NO JOKE THOUGH, ESPECIALLY WHEN SITTING IN ONE SPOT FOR SO LONG. I FORGOT TO ADD TO TAKE MINI BREAKS IN BETWEEN WRITING TO STRETCH YOUR LEGS AND YOUR BACK AND DO THE LITTLE NECK ROLL THING AND GIVE YOUR HANDS AND ARMS A BREAK… MAINLY BECAUSE I FORGET TO DO IT ALL THE TIME 😅😅
DID YOU GO ON PINTEREST FOR THE IMAGES?? THATS WHAT I USE MOST OF THE TIME AND IT USUALLY HAS WHAT IM LOOKING FOR!
700 WORDS IS THE PERFECT AMOUNT OF WORDS, ESPECIALLY FOR A FIRST FIC! IT GIVES PEOPLE A LITTLE TASTE OF YOUR WRITING, BUT NOT TOO MUCH, LEAVES THEM WANTING MORE!
Fics where you can giggle at your writing and have a good time writing it are the best ones! I’m so happy and pleeease give me the name of your writing blog so that I can follow it and read your fics!!
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choicesarcade · 4 years
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Âme (Part 1) | Obi-Wan Kenobi
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Update: I deadass gave up on this sorry y'all 😭
Pairing: Obi-Wan x Reader
Length: 1.9k (Sorry it's so short, it was originally longer but I left it out for Pt2)
Warnings: Angst, Descriptions of Violence, Some fluff if you squint, Nightmares, And whacking younglings with a Lightsaber, just a Friday in Star-Wars.
A/N: This is part one of my Obi-Wan series ‘Âme’. I hope you guys like it! It’s not too clear but the reader is 10 years younger than Obi (I promise the next chapter will have more fluff).
Summary: After Anakin falls to the dark side, you and Obi-Wan are forced to face the consequences together, even as both sides of the force try to pull you two apart.
---
'I know one day you'll join me Y/N.' The words still wrung in your head.
You had just arrived at the temple you had once called home from a solo mission to collect your Padawan when you heard it.
The screams of the Jedi and the Younglings echo through the halls. Maybe 'heard' is the wrong word, you could feel their screams, their dread, their fear, everything. It flooded your veins and their pain became yours.
Careful not to trip over the scattered litter of robes, sabers and occasional armoured clones, you began to sprint down the halls, a force, the force pulling you closer to the source.
You ached now. The pain was swallowing you the further you ran. A familiar sensation ran through your body and so as you rounded the corner you ignited your saber, drenching the hall into a rich violet.
And of course, your instinct was right. A couple of meters away, two clones guarded a large set of doors.
You didn't know when they were ordered to turn against the Jedi, but what you did know is that whatever or whoever was on the other side of those doors needed you.
 You decided not to drag this out longer than it needed to be, after all, the clones didn't get much choice.
Creeping towards them you outstretched your hand, the clones fell to their knees, clutching and clawing at their necks as they began to writhe under your power, under a matter of seconds their bodies slumped with thuds that you softened with the force.
"-there are too many of them, what are we going to do?" A muffled voice leaked through the doors and with a soft growl you pushed through, into the High-Council chamber. The room was drenched in a gentle sapphire glow, it's source coming from the Lightsaber wielded by a tall figure, whose back was turned from you. You approached the subject, only to find yourself falling to your knees, watching in horror as the robed figure slaughtered the younglings in front of you.
 After a couple of moments, you processed the scene in front of you and let out a bloodcurdling scream, locking eyes with your Padawan, Fenn, who stiffly fell to the floor. Resorting to your hands and knees, you scrambled towards your Padawan, ignoring the eyes that bore into your skull from behind. Holding the youngling in your arms, you brushed his jet-black hair out of his face and wiped away the tears that trailed his pale face. "I’m scared, Master Y/L/N." He rasped.
"I’m so sorry, brave one." You whispered and life began to drain from Fenn’s eyes as he exhaled heavily. Your body shook with a familiar feeling of fury, holding him tightly to your chest as you cut through Fenn's Padawan braid with your saber before he began to fade away. Before they all did.
You still faced away from the monster, and you wonder why they hadn't killed you yet. Perhaps they wished to doom you to a fate worse than death.
Rising to your feet, you stared at the reflection across from you. It was strange to think that beyond that glass, people were going on about their night, unbothered, unbeknownst to the tragedy that had just occurred.
 The last time you had felt such an emptiness, was many, many years ago. You were 15 when you had to say your goodbye to your brother, leaving you to provide for you and your mother alone. Around six years later you fell to the dark side because of the guilt of the things you had to do to survive on your home planet, Tatooine. Four years later years, on a mission, you met a young woman who went by the name of Ahsoka. She had helped you find your way to the Jedi and back to your brother.
 Now, everything was falling apart again, and a familiar fire began to flow through your veins as the urge to scream, to rip the room apart, to have that murderer's head on a spike overtook your mind, but they were cast aside, and you froze in place as steps came towards you, heavy against the tile floor. Dread filled your veins and your world dimmed as you saw the reflection of your brother appear beside you. "Anakin..."
"Y/N, Wake up!" You jolted up and Obi-Wan's arms wrapped around you. Your chest tightened as you struggled to keep the stinging tears back, Obi-Wan's warmth being the only thing keeping you grounded. "You're ok now, I'm here." You met Obi's grey-blue eyes with your E/C one as you rested your forehead against his and steadied your breathing.
The ship you were on wasn’t too big, but it was certainly more luxurious than your own, after all, it belonged to Padme. You looked around the quarters, it had a single bed, a small wardrobe which contained your light grey robes, a small white desk which you had laid your Lightsaber hilt on, a chronometer that hung above it and a door leading to the ‘fresher.
The whole ship was clean, sterile, well kept, unlike you. The two braided buns you usually adorned were missing as you settled for keeping your hair in a lazy ponytail, your face was skinner from days you either refused or just couldn’t be bothered to eat and dark circles were painted under your eyes which seemed to never go away.
Most days you’d obsess over looking after Padme, making sure she was safe, had a shoulder she could cry on and had everything else she could possibly need or want. Sure, she and her handmaidens were fully capable of doing that themselves, but she was your sister-in-law, one of your closest companions and carrying your future niece or nephew. She was family.
Other days you spent with Obi-Wan. At first, it was just training to keep up your skills, then it was nightly walks through the hanging gardens, until finally it was simply lying underneath the stars together as the both of you talked about things neither of you could even say to yourselves. You didn’t know what Obi was to you, it didn’t have a name, but you cared about him and he cared about you.
 After a moment you subtly cleared your throat and Obi-Wan helped you up out of your bed. "How did you get here?" You asked.
"I snuck in,” He shrugged as if he didn’t sneak past the guards to get here, “the ship just entered Hyperspace, so we should be landing soon."
“Well until then, stay here. I don’t want you getting caught.”
“Speak for yourself, Y/N, if anyone is to get caught, it would be you.”
“I’m actually allowed to be here, Obi-Wan Kenobi.” You laughed.
 The truth was you begged Padme to let you come. You promised her you wanted to help her bring Anakin home, to help bring him back before it was too late, and you wouldn’t interfere with her and Anakin unless necessary.
“Well, it doesn’t matter now. Excuse me while I refresh myself.”
“Good, you smell horrible.” You teased as he closed the door to the ‘fresher behind him, a rich laugh filtering through it.
You opened the small wardrobe as running water began in the other room and you smiled to yourself, “Don’t use my soap!”
“It’s too late for that, Y/N!” He called back and you chuckled to yourself.
You took your robes off the hangar, draping it over your shoulders and revelled in the little warmth it provided. It had been 5 or 6 years since you had left Tatooine, and still, you were not yet used to the cold. You heard a small knock coming from the quarter’s entrance and you permitted them to enter.
“Y/N, Senator Amidala wanted me to inform you that the ship is about to land.” C-3PO spoke. You weren’t too close with the droid, but you still frequently held friendly conversations and on rare occasions, shared gossip.
You thanked 3PO for informing you but as he was about to close the door, his eyes landed on robes discarded over the chair next to the desk, more specifically, Obi-Wan’s robes. “Curious…” The droid said and as he closed the door, a blush rose to your cheeks as you realised what he must have thought. ‘Note to self, remind Obi not to leave his robes everywhere.’
 “Who was that?” You turned to see Obi-Wan standing in the doorway, the only thing covering him was the towel that wrapped around his hips. You faltered and immediately, your hands flew up to cover your eyes.
“I- uh- The ship...”
“The ship was at the door?”
“It was C-3PO. He informed me that the ship is about to land.” You nearly choked.
You inched past him towards the mirror, your blush growing deeper as you noticed he smelled like pomegranate. “I suggest you get dressed Obi; I’m not sure towels are appropriate for negotiations.” You said, clearing your throat as you fixed your appearance in the slightly foggy mirror.
“For some negotiations, a towel is ideal.” He quipped and it took everything not to burst out laughing. It amazed you, how even in times like this, Obi-Wan always managed to bring a smile to your face and vice versa. You were about to finish fixing your hair into two simple buns when you felt the ship shift slightly, a sign you had just landed. You rushed out of the ‘fresher and towards the desk, “Obi-Wan, listen to what I ask of you and please stay here, I’m not sure what Anakin might do if he sees you here with us.”
“That’s ridiculous, I’m not going to wait in your quarters while you and Padme put yourself at risk going out there alone.” He said sternly, crossing his arms over his chest.
“It’s Anakin! He would never hurt us, we’re his family.”
“The Anakin we knew is gone. You were there at the Jedi Temple, you know how dangerous he is!”
“He spared my life, Obi-Wan! That means something to me, why doesn’t it mean anything to you?!”
“It means everything to me! Which is why I’m not letting you leave.”
“Wait, wha-“ You’re cut off as Obi-Wan cuffs one of your wrists to the cot and snatches up his Lightsaber.
“You’re going to kill him, aren’t you?” You shoot, pulling on the cuffs. Of course, they were force resistant.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I will do what I must.”
You were scared, for Obi-Wan and for Anakin. You knew that there were only a couple of ways it could go.
“No, no! Obi-Wan, please, let me go! I beg of you, don’t hurt him!” You roughly yank of the cuffs and wince as it begins to cut into your skin. Tears stinging your eyes, you look up as Obi-Wan begins to exits your quarters, robes sweeping the floor behind him.
“I’ll hate you Obi-Wan Kenobi, he’s my brother!” Your voice broke as you screamed hoarsely, tears stinging your eyes. His head swivels towards you, pain painted over his features. He falters for a moment as his eyes met yours. Tears were freely running down your cheek now, and oh how much he wished he could wipe them away. You didn’t mean it but a lingering part of you wished that you did. That part of you was the same side you had always struggled to control. The dark-side.
“Forgive me, Y/N.” He finally whispered over his shoulder, fear and sorrow lacing his voice. Quickly, he closed the door behind him and wiped away the tears that threatened to spill over. He couldn’t let his feelings get in the way this time. Not again.
Obi-Wan swiftly made his way to the front of the ship, attaching his saber to its proper place on the side of his belt and prepared himself. For what? He did not know yet.
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