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skynapple · 1 month

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Budding Romance | Ch. 11

Love and Deepspace | Jeremiah x MC / slow-burn / friends-to-lovers

warnings: none

Multi-chapter | A03 link

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"Sweet Tart" A little visit, a little closer

In the light of a summer early afternoon, a young huntress flings various outfits onto her bed. All manners of dresses and somewhat casual outfits are arranged as she glanced frequently at the clock. She still had time before he arrived, but she was frantically wondering what kind of impression to make. Leading up to this, she'd managed to bribe Jeremiah into agreeing to visit. Although, she knew he was under the impression he was dropping something off, but to her a visit was a visit.

Regular communication had felt more comfortable and casual now. It started mildly with plant updates and questions and had then lead into both sharing updates of Xavier sleeping in random spots. It felt fun to have the secrecy of a fun inside joke between them. Mild as the interactions were, she still felt her heart immediately flutter at the mere sight of his name in her notification. Although, she still got the sense that there was still a wall between them. Jeremiah was playful, and thoughtful, and kind, but never said too much or went too far into a flirty territory.

Thus she decided to test some waters - just a little bit. She had made her ploy after receiving another image of Xavier sleeping in an awkward position at a restaurant table.

[Smh you two! Getting into trouble? I can arrest you yk.]

Jer: [Brb committing crimes ;P]

Such a silly conversation had sent butterflies into her stomach, making her keenly aware that she had been smiling widely at her screen in public. In embarrassment, yet not wanting the conversation to end, she had decided to switch gears.

[You have 2 seconds to bribe me or I'm calling the police.]

Several minutes had passed in that moment and she had wondered if it was too much of an unusual response, or if she was interrupting them. Just when she had begun to feel restless, her screen lit up again.

Jer: [A bribe? :o but you're an honorary citizen!]

[2 seconds are up! Cops are on their way!]

Jer: [Nooo \(;A;)/ I promise I'm not committing nefarious crimes! I'll buy you cookies if you call off the police.]

The use of the old fashioned emote had made her giggle as she thought of what to reply, wanting to see what else he would come up with, secretly wishing it would lead to an opportunity to see him again. Then again, she had remembered what Tara had warned about not long ago. Deep down, she thought that sometimes men tended to miss perfectly handed opportunities without being direct enough.

[Hmm. Gonna have to do better than that.]

Jer: [Ma'am pls! I'll bake them homemade!!]

Now that was an interesting proposition, especially when taking into consideration a certain neighbor above her that couldn't bake to save his life. It might be fun for comparison, she thought.

[Deal, but you have to bring them to me.]

Now had come the date of the intended sweets delivery. She was anxiety ridden and frantically attempting to find something appropriate. The decision fluctuated between casual and cool, and cute and flirty. She settled somewhere between, with a casual dress lightly decorated with a sunflower pattern, and a slightly lower neckline. It had initially caught her attention in the store after recalling the sunflower he had given her just a few months ago.

On the dot of their scheduled time, the front door chimed. Jeremiah was punctual and polite as ever. She sauntered over to the door, adjusted her dress, and opened with a bright smile, feeling radiant, greeting him warmly with a simple, “Hi, Jer!”

The man looked nice, with a plain green shirt layered with a light tan poplin that remained unbuttoned, accentuating the flecks of green in his hazel eyes. She noticed a light refreshing scent, and that he’d recently cut his curls a little shorter, probably for the summer heat, but she wasn't sure how she felt about it. In his hands was a plastic tupperware, none other than her bribe.

She welcomed him in, reaching up to give him a quick hug. He accepted it stiffly.

She wondered what he was thinking, whether it was too much, but tried to remind herself that light hugs were probably fine even between acquaintances and tried not to overthink it.

"You look great." He complimented on entering.

It was exactly what she wanted to hear, but actually hearing it was another thing entirely. Suddenly she didn't know how to respond. It would have been fine if she left it at “Thanks!” But instead she rambled on, noting, “This is is just a casual dress. It was on sale,” to which she immediately she felt idiotic. The explanation was more than unnecessary. There was warmth in his voice as he responded in turn with a light chuckle, but it only amplified her nerves. As she closed the door, she breathed out and tried to remind herself of her intentions.

"So, Chef 'Miah, tell me what you've brought today." She said, spinning around and clasping her hands behind her back playfully.

"Oh," He suddenly looked awkward, with an embarrassed laugh. The expression only affirmed in her mind that he was completely adorable. After clearing his throat, he responded, "Well, as a token of gratitude for sparing me from calling the cops during my heinous crimes, I've prepared some lemon cookies for you today."

Unable to resist the opportunity to tease him more, she gathered her courage and leaned forward with flirtatious intent as she took the container from him, letting her fingers brush over his. "Well, let's have a taste, then I'll decide if I'm letting you off the hook."

He didn't back away, but noticeably reddened. "Ah, well, if they suck then... I guess we're back at square one."

She set the container on the counter and eagerly opened it to try one, out of the corner of her eye noticing that he put some distance between them and leaned on the counter with his elbows. The cookie was soft, but had a crisp outer top. The tart lemon flavor softened into sweetness. It felt like the perfect summer day in one bite. Enthusiasm filled her, although when she glanced over, she noticed that he was only staring at a groove in her counter top.

"Jer, these are really good!" She exclaimed. "You promise you made them yourself?"

"I swear." He replied, grinning finally, then grabbed one to eat himself. "I'm not hopeless like Xavier. When we were…uh, one time we took a mandatory cooking class. Guess which one passed and which one failed." The answer to the rhetorical question on who was a better cook was now answered, undoubtedly. The winner was clear.

"No way! You two have known each other that long?" She said, leaning a little closer, using the excuse of taking another cookie.

"Hah... yeah." He laughed again as if he was reminiscing, then for a brief moment they locked eyes and he stopped. Warm gazes lingered, and she felt like it was a first true moment of connection. It felt good - so good, as if they were both thinking at the same time,

It's so nice to meet you again.

Then, his eyes averted behind her to the near-dead azalea plant on the sill above her kitchen sink.

"What in gods name is that?"

"Oh!" She stepped aside to block it. "Nothing!"

"Nothing?!"

"It's fine! Plenty of life in it!"

"No way. Let me see it!"

"Access denied!"

She stuck both her arms out wide to create a virtual fence. The mischievous look he got made her wonder what he'd do next. To her surprise, he quickly slipped his arms under hers, respectfully cautious about where his hands were, and lifted her into the air to set her aside out of his way. The action was accomplished as easily as if she were a mere chair in the way. He moved quickly over to the plant while she was still in shock at his strength and touch, heart pounding before she hurried to meet him on the other side of the counter.

“Jeremiah!” She chided, but was absolutely bubbly at the interaction.

If he was flustered too, he no longer looked it as his attention was only on the florals in her window sill. "Do you know what these are? These are azaleas. Do you know what that means?"

"No, what?" She tried to sound oblivious.

"Azaleas mean love and passion. Your love life is dead. You let it die." He teased. Or, to her it sounded like teasing.

"Well!" She feigned frustration -not about to reveal that she bought it like that on purpose- as she reached up to cover his eyes with her hands. It took some effort, needing to reach on her toes. He wasn't as tall as Xavier, but he still felt tall to her. "I told you not to look!"

He ducked his head and grabbed her wrists as he did. The motion of it seemed oddly skilled. Briefly she thought to ask if he'd ever taken a self defense class, but now that they were interlocked she could only think of how close he was.

"I won't help you every step of the way this time. You killed that plant, you bring it back."

"Challenge accepted." She said, determined, but hoping he didn't really recognize how deeply she was blushing.

"So says our brilliant lady. Nothing can stop her! Not even her anti-green thumb."

She giggled, wiggling her fingers to wrap them around his wrists.

"I'll succeed! Thanks to your training."

The moment felt warm and comfortable. It felt so good to smile and laugh together, sincere and carefree. They searched each others eyes and with her heart pounding she wondered if maybe he might find an excuse to close the distance. Instead, he let go of her wrists and indicated to the cookies on the counter.

"So, bribe accepted?"

"Yes... if you give me the recipe."

"No can do. It’s a secret.”

"Please! I promise I won’t share it. But I really want to try!”

He looked serious now, scratching his head. “It’s… well, it was my fiancée’s grandma’s recipe. She made me swear. But, I mean…”

“Oh! I’m sorry!” She responded quickly, but eyed him, not sure what to think, or what else to say. Just a split second of sadness flashed in his eyes and she was quick not to miss it. He returned to her gaze warmly, as if nothing had happened.

“I might be able to make an exception,” His smile deepened, appearing more mischievous again, “If you bribe me.”

For some reason that encouraged her even more. Could it possibly mean that he was over his past? She had no concept of how long ago it was for him. She already began to over-analyze it but didn’t let herself get carried away.

“I’ll have to think of something.” She responded, meeting his airs.

“In the meantime-” he continued slowly, “why don't you uh... see if maybe your neighbor’s home and if he wants any? I made plenty in case you wanted to share.”

“Are you kidding?” She reached behind him to grab the lid and put it on tightly. “Shareable doesn’t mean have to. These are all mine!”

He laughed again. "You know what? Fair point. Well, I’m glad you liked them. I hope you enjoy!” It suddenly looked like he was about to leave, as he took a step forward towards the door.

“What are you doing the rest of today?” She asked quickly.

He seemed a little bewildered, glancing at the ceiling although she wasn't sure why. “Well, normally I have to…"

"If you have some time, why don't we take a walk? I'll show you around the neighborhood. It's so pretty this time of year!"

"Okay." He agreed without hesitation. "So hospitable! You know what, when Xavier moved in last year, he never showed me anything."

She grinned, grabbing her keys. "So I'm just all-around better?"

"Not even a question," Then he added a little softly, "Always have been."

She felt butterflies swirling again, but Tara's voice of reason in her head struck again. Be careful.

"I think you're better too!" She laughed, but quickly felt bad. "I'm kidding. He's a good guy. You know."

"Oh, I can't wait to tell him you said that."

"Hey!"

As they had taken a walk in the crisp sunshine, he felt too happy to really think of what it meant, or why he felt so warm inside and out, or why she was smiling at him like that. It was almost precious to watch her, completely radiant in the summer light, pointing out things she liked about this neighborhood, shops she frequented nearby, stray cats who were all too familiar with her. He wondered if she liked small creatures on Philos too.

As they laughed and talked, he mostly listened, full intent to avoid speaking too much about himself. As he listened, for some reason, she kept catching his eyes. For some reason, he couldn't stop looking at her. He thought it was because she was more interesting than the surroundings, that she didn't know he was already very familiar with having seen much of it develop completely from the ground up.

Deep down, way deep down, the voice of reason that only showed up when he was almost asleep that night would speak to him.

This is dangerous. He wasn't home. He's going to be upset. He'll think you're trying to steal her.

Ridiculous. I'm not. He knows that.

No, what if he doesn't? That's why he gets so worked up.

Well that's on him. If he was man enough he'd care more about stealing her anyway. He obviously doesn't care about the no-contact rules. He's being too slow.

You need to back off.

No, I'm not doing anything wrong. We were way closer than this before.

And I miss that.

And as he starts to wane off to sleep, the beginnings of a seed in his heart start to settle.

I want her to be close to me again.

//A/N: Chapter doodle

#one of my faves but most difficult to write #madi writes #jeremiah x mc #lnds jeremiah #lnds mc #love and deepspace jeremiah #love and deepspace mc #love and deepspace #lads jeremiah #lads mc #l&ds #lnds #lnd #jeremiah love and deepspace #xavier love and deepspace #budding romance

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gimmethatagustd · 2 years

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fic authors self rec!

i was tagged by @ahundredtimesover - thank you so much! i love these types of tag games

When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written/fics you’re most proud of, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

i only have 3 released fics right now lkhfds so i will just comment on those 3 and then i can share some sneak peak info about some of the ones i have queued!

Only Here to Sin (Chapter 1) - this was my first fic. i was honestly so stressed about releasing it because i thought it would flop 😂 i literally had like 5 followers when i posted it. it started off as me just trying out some plain ‘ole smut, but i realized there was a lot of potential for a real plot. i originally wrote it from tae’s point of view, but i decided to edit it to be from the reader. i think that made it feel a lot more emotionally empty? in a good way, because the topic is hard - what do we do when we feel backed into a corner by those we love? how do we live with ourselves when we break someone’s trust?

Only Here to Sin (Chapter 2) - this is my most recent fic, and i plan to continue this series with at least 1 (maybe 2) more chapters! this series is really ‘go with the flow’. i’m proud of this chapter because i’ve focused a lot on character development and trying to reshape how we initially view tae, namjoon, and the reader compared to the first chapter. also RIP to namjoon for being an asshole in this one lol it was hard to write!! but yeah, the fic very much speaks to this idea that just because we have experienced pain doesn’t mean we should hurt others, too.

Paint Me Naked - this one has been everyone’s favorite so far (because jk, duh)! ngl this is heavily influenced by my real life - except the guy jk is based off of is just a good friend (although i think he was lowkey in love with me but that’s a whole other thing khsds). my friend really inspired me throughout college and helped me become a better writer, and i’m extremely grateful that i got to know him. people didn’t give him much of a chance because he was standoffish, but we vibed really well. just two quiet, lowkey people trying to navigate a world that doesn’t let people just be themselves. he taught me how to be vulnerable and how to love my writing - even when i thought my work was shitty. art is about the journey for him, and that helped me a lot with my emotions. i hope this fic can make you feel like it’s okay to accept that life sucks sometimes, but there’s always going to be someone in your corner to walk this earth with you.

Nectar (to be released) - my next fic is my first supernatural one! it features jimin, the vampire reader’s new human roommate. i LOVE supernatural shit, so i hope y’all like it! it’s kinda angsty and i really wrote it in a Mood cuz it’s a lil kinky too.

Marry Me (Again & Again) (to be released) - another jimin one, this time a best friends to lovers. it’s my first attempt at something purely fluff with no smut and very little angst. i’m not that great at writing fluff, so i hope this works out!

THIS ENDED UP SO LONG smh sorry i just have a lot of #thoughts, mostly because i’m very new. i only started posting fics in april. anywayy if y’all haven’t done this yet, i tag @jjkeverlast @seokoloqy @yutasthetic @spideyjimin @lookingforluna @7deadlysinsfics @parkdatjimin

pls make sure to check out everyone’s fics! it’s nice to celebrate together what we’re most excited about as writers

#tag game

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bloodstainsontengensfloor · 3 years

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... is this just one big appreciation post for the women of Jujutsu Kaisen? Yes. It is. I go looking for some JJK content and I need more love for my powerful ladies! ⚠️SPOILERS FOR VOLUME 0 AND FOR MANGA!!! ⚠️

Kugisaki Nobara:

The girl of steel.

Her most iconic moment is the “I AM NOBARA KUGISAKI!” She is someone who has a strong sense of self and I’m honestly jealous. She knows who she is, and she’s confident in that. Nobara is funny and full of life and character. She’s comedic and in her introduction, despite being unsure on what to do with the child hostage, handled the situation in a way I didn’t expect based on what was presented by her so far.

She was introduced as confident, blunt, judgemental, and conceited. When the child was taken hostage, she, unaware that Itadori would come in throwing punches, set her stuff down. She was the one who took down the curse, it was her test after all, and I honestly love the little head pat she gives the kid after. It’s such a small gesture but it’s so sweet.

No Character is a good one without flaws and Nobara has her fair share of them. Like stated before, she’s conceited and her bluntness is sometimes just rude. She saw herself as above most people in her old town because she couldn’t understand how they could be so small minded and live simple lives when she in fact is a little small minded and naive. The first curse she faced wasn’t one she was totally ready for, but in the end conquered. She views Maki and Mai as a bad twin/good twin situation. She never met Sukuna so can only judge Itadori based on who she knows, Itadori. She understands the gender norms of the Jujutsu world and believes that she can change them as long as she just is her. She knows she’s pretty and she knows she strong so what could go wrong? (Loosing an eye).

Something I do love about her though is that she had friends and people she cared for before she came to Tokoyo. Before she uhm... gets injured, she thinks about an old friend and how she doesn’t think she will get to met up with her like she promised. Nobara is a great friend with a lot of love to give. She’s truthful but not perfect.

Random fact I love: her hair is dyed.

Zenin Maki:

The woman who will prove everyone wrong. She’s ambitious, powerful, and hardworking. She began at the very bottom of the world she lived in, and is still restricted by these boundaries even after she proved herself over and over again. But never once did she let that bring her down.

She can’t see curses without her glasses, (as someone who wears glasses most of the time, it’s hard to always keep them on your face), and has very limited cursed energy that she must rely on cursed infused objects for battle. But that isn’t the bad kind of relying on because of the fact it makes her extremely skilled and resourceful. She uses a bunch of different weapons and is ‘incredibly strong’.

She is blunt and straightforward, but can also be someone who teaches others. Personally, I’d hate to have her as a teacher because she would push me to every limit I want to avoid but should reach. Maki is the leader of the Tokoyo kids, I can’t take no argument. She will put the protagonist in his place. You don’t get to come back from the dead and act like you are in charge smh.

She admires strength. Her ‘type’ is someone who is strong, but it can be debated what kind of ‘strength’ she means. The Jujutsu world’s restricted view on strength is something that limited her for years and was still limiting her up to the current manga arc. Does she admire someone who’s strength is in their physical, mental, or emotional manifestation? She’s a great character and it gets more expanded in Volume 0. I need to re read that, and omg Maki like lost a crap ton of limbs and now she is like... roasted??

Praying she lives and that her father dies so she can work on becoming the head of the clan, like she wants. Fushigiro has the power but he cut ties with the fam and Mai has no desire. So... Maki as head of the Zenin Clan 2021... well I guess 2018?

Random fact I love: maki’s name has the kanji for “genuine” and “hope”.

Zenin Mai:

I have exhausted this topic. But I’m in love. (I wrote this whole thing and my thing glitched and deleted all my work rip)

Mai is confident and crude. She’s introduced as rude, inconsiderate and just all around your basic mean girl. She’s pretty, she’s confident and she doesn’t care if what she says hurt you.

However, one thing that seperates her from every other character in the story, is that she has no desire nor ambition to be a Jujutsu Sorcerer. As a child, she was scared of curses and it’s implied that she may still be scared of them as a teen. She was content living as a servant in her home because at least she would have a normal life. But, had she stayed in that life she would be living in a toxic household where she got no love and was viewed as lesser than. Despite not wanting to be a jujutus sorcerer, her sister’s ambitions of being one forced her to do the same and try to stay on par with her. At Kyoto, Mai develops... great friendships. She’s given kindness and love. This much can be seen in the conversation with her and Nishimya and the softness in her face when she simply says “I know” over the phone.

Personally, I don’t believe the Kyoto students are aware of Mai’s desires, due to the fact that Nishimya talked about the barriers placed against Mai/Maki as something distasteful for Mai.

Mai is someoen who puts on an act. She plays the part of your basic mean girl because what else is she supposed to do? She’s unhappy, and the only thing she knows how to do is lash out. She only knows and maybe even wants people to feel as bad as she did and does. She’s dependent and has abandonment issues due to her sister’s act of letting go of her hand.

However, what Nobara says is right. Misfortune doesn’t allow one to do what they want or to justify when they do bad things. Mai, like a lot of the Kyoto students, don’t know how to cope and deal with the bundles of emotions and conflict within them. They only know to lash out. In the story, Mai is still a minor character, but she has potential for growth, and I really hope it’s given to her.

Fun fact I love: Her first name contains the Kanji for “Geunine” and “rely on”. I love this because Mai might not even know who her genuine self is and in the recent manga chapters she’s relied on as back up from a distance.

Kasumi Miwa:

She’s the anchor of the Kyoto gang. Unlike the others, she doesn’t have major emotional baggage. She led a simple life and has a simple goal. Miwa wants to be a Jujutus Sorcerer to get enough money to help provide for her poor family.

Her story has a rag-to-riches type beat. She met a Jujutsu mentor who she trained under and learned how to wield a Katana so she wouldn’t have to burden her mother. She’s selfless, kind, and down to earth. Miwa has a fangirl heart and admires big name people like Gojo. She had major self confidence issues, despite all this. She had to work for this and has a goal in mind, but that doesn’t mean she’ll always feel useful.

Her relationship with Mechamaru is bitter sweet. She wants to know him better. Despite it being a prank, she does try to give him little gifts and make him feel included in everything they do. He protects her when his actions as the mole potentially put her endanger. It hurt watching the part of Miwa talking to his empty robot self while he did what he needed to.

And his last messages to her through the little ear pieces 😭😭.Even after knowing what he does, she’s still there to listen and is still there for them to rely on.

Miwa is just a breathe of fresh air in this story, but that doesn’t exclude her from the angst and trauma that comes with a story as dark as this.

Fun fact I love: it’s not a fact, but she wears a full on suit. I love it. I love it so much.

Momo Nishimya:

She’s a little witch 🥺. Momo Nishimya is introduced as somewhat reserved. She expressed nervousness over the abilities of the Tokoyo kids. In her fight with Nobara, she acknowledges her as strong and severely underestimated her. However, like Nobara, she’s willing to defend her friends at any chance she has.

The minute Nobara expresses distaste toward Mai, Nishimya immediate begins to defend her and starts lecturing Nobara on how women are treated unfairly in the jujutsu world. She introduced this idea that a woman must be pretty and strong, and I really hope this idea comes into play more and more later (and I think it will). Despite having a female teacher who is strong yet scarred, she expresses the idea that a scar is setback for a woman.

Her and Mai get along very well. The two of them are somewhat the troublemakers that Miwa constantly has to wrangle in (The dynamic between those three I love). Her character is pretty minor but in the reccent chapters, I loved how she got her mini moment. Itadori and her were the only two who were able to avoid Uraume’s ice and talks to Itadori passively and tries to even work with him. It’s a big step from how she begins with telling Nobara that she is a fool for being unable to distinguish a curse from a friend.

Fun fact I love about her: she’s Japanese American with an American father. Same, but I wasn’t raised Japanese whatsoever 🥲.

I’m going to do a part two with our adult ladies but that’s all for now folks!

Fun facts from the JJK Wiki page!

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk spoilers #mai zenin #maki zenin #nobarakugisaki #jujutsu kaisen miwa #nishimiya momo #jjk anime #anime #jjk

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hongism · 2 years

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AAA I JUST READ MOC 43 AND I NEED TO GET ALL MY THOUGHTS OUT SO BEAR W ME ok so first of all—Jisung. Reading this chapter, I don't think he's the absolute worst person ever, but he's definitely still super shitty. He's incredibly selfish and only does things for himself. Obviously, he has emotions, but his worldview is skewed by them, essentially making him the MC's number one yandere. Also, Min is not doing a good job of treating that PTSD jfc. I do agree with his points on Yunho tho. - siren

uuuuuu HI BELOVED T^T im excited to get into your asks heh thank you for being patient with me im sorry for making you wait so long but let’s GO!

so. jisung. the fun thing about having these one on one interactions with him is really unveiling what’s behind the exterior he has, he’s not necessarily a sociopath buttt he is pretty awful nonetheless for certain ! calling him mc’s number one yandere is a very apt description of him ! Min’s words will come into play more in the future, it’s moreso a little bit that im hoping you guys consider and think about too bc there is truth to it!

I'm sure Jisung and Hyunwoo really did inject Y/N with the serum to try to protect her from her own trauma, but I still wouldn't count it as the right thing to do. Unless past Y/N had wanted that serum, it's not their job to protect her from those things. Another Jisung (and Hyunwoo until I can see otherwise) being super selfish moment. Besides, I think blocking her memories might just make her time coping worse because she didn't have the chance to do it properly in that moment. - siren

indeed we are starting to get into more dicey things too! the question of what were they trying to protect her from is a heavy one, but you’re so right in saying that unless she wanted it then they should’ve never done it! while i think neither of them expected for things to go the way they did, it does leave the question of ‘when everything gets unveiled, how is she going to cope with that’

NOW the arguably hardest topic for me to analyze—is Y/N like Wooyoung when it comes to those murders. I really had to think about this since our cast is very morally ambigious to begin with LOL. What separates good and bad murder, at least in my POV? Of course, Wooyoung didn't mean to kill that other siren nor did he think he actually could, but he still decided to do it regardless if it was in a dream. I wonder what compelled him to do that even if he didn't think he could? - siren

something i think that is easy to forget in the course of this story is the fact that our characters are criminals and morally grey more often than not! obviously wooyoung feels guilty and awful about what he did, but where does he sit on the spectrum of right and wrong? but you ask a really good question in asking what compelled him to do that even if he didn’t know he would actually kill the man?

As for Y/N, she chose to murder the king because she couldn't stand to see her friend become a martyr, especially since Jisung wouldn't own up to his actions smh. I can't excuse her gruesomeness here, but at least her reasoning was better LMAO. As for the more recently grab-heart-from-chest situation, obviously she didn't even mean to do that since she's still having trouble controlling her powers. I'm sure the others have done worse ngl. imo, this is what separates her from Wooyoung. - siren

and the golden question, is y/n’s murder still justified if it was simply to keep her friend from becoming a martyr? and if she could have gone for a less gruesome way, then why didn’t she? why did she choose the worst possible option?

AS FOR THE OTHER HALF OF THE CHAPTER, wow. That was SO much information. All this mention about fate reminds me of Woosang's fortune. The fortuneteller told them they were never supposed to be together because of fate. However, Y/N and Wooyoung were supposed to be sacrificed years ago, but here they are. The only thing stopping them might be their own mental constructs surrounding fate. Unless fate is an actual higher power that'll kick their asses LOL. Or those deities. - siren

but YEAH. LONG ASS CHAPTER WITH A LOT! it does carry the most implications for the siren storyline and what’s going to happen with that and amongst the crew. fate as a concept i think can be described as an invisible prison, and i think that’ll appear more as a concept in the future too. but we have to wonder if maybe that fortuneteller told yeosang and wooyoung they were never meant to meet because y/n and wooyoung were meant to be sacrificed, and if that’s the case, then how does that affect the idea of fate as a whole?

LASTLY, the prophecy. It obviously turned into a rumor that you round up the five last sirens and in return get this amazing super cool treasure. The thing is, Seonghwa's book had the prophecy, and I'm sure he read his books so why does Hongjoong seem so painfully unaware about these things surrounding sirens? Seonghwa usually tells Hongjoong everything, so why is there a disconnect there? Even if it seems like a fairytale, wouldn't it be useful to know? Maybe I'm reading into it wrong;; - siren

this i think is the most important thing and i think of all the ideas you’re getting into, this one is the most important too. seonghwa’s book had the prophecy, the assumption is that seonghwa read his own books, so why is it that hongjoong doesn’t seem to know about the things contained in that book? if seonghwa usually tells hongjoong everything, why would he not tell him about this book in particular? what in the book would make seonghwa not want to tell hongjoong or let hongjoong read that book? you’re absolutely reading into it properly and you’re onto something very important :3

#mists of celeste #moc: spoilers #siren anon

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shay11a · 4 years

Text

New Rules, an overly long review

Alright, let’s do this.

I’ll just start with a little disclaimer that english is not my first language and although I’m usually fluent-ish some of my sentences might not translate very well from french, so please bear with me. Also this i like barely edited so sorry about the mistakes.

I’m here to talk about my favorite fanfiction, not only in this fandom, but in all fandom (and trust me, I’m a part of a lot of fandoms), and of all the fanfictions I’ve ever read (and trust me I’ve read a lot) : New Rules by the amazing @tayegi

The first time I read, I binge read it, but make no mistake, I don’t mean that I rushed though the story in one day, oh no, I mean I couldn’t do anything else, every minute of my day that I wasn’t in class or adulting, I was reading it, but it’s one of those rare fictions where I knew I was reading something just that good that I needed to make it last as much as possible. Imagine my struggle, balancing the need to know what was going to happen next and my visceral need to make it last as much as possible because I knew I could never experience this first reading again.

That’s how much I love this story.

Unfortunetaly, there came a time I caught up.

So I re-read it.

Again.

And Again.

To this day, I often come back to it, re-reading entirely or picking up at any point to enjoy again a moment that I particularly like. I do this often with fiction I particularly liked, but one thing that I find amazing with NR is that, contrary to most fic, no matter where I pick up, I know what is happening, what happened before that, because the plot is just so wonderfully crafted that everything has consequences, every character is relevant and their actions have consequences that they are held accountable to by the plot (dunno is this makes sense but it does in my native language sorry) I regret not posting a review under every chapter as I read, it was selfish on my part, but I needed to continue, I have some notes from this review at the end but they lack the specificity of first impressions, I apologize for that.

I also have to mention that this review is NOT spoiler free so if you want to read it please, PLEASE New Rules before that there is absolutely NO way that you won’t thank me (and Tayegi of course) afterwards, and don’t ‘I don’t mind spoilers’ me this story DESERVES to be read spoiler free.

Alright, buckle up kiddos, let’s do this.

I. The writing

The way the plot unveils is downright cathartic. I recently re-read it entirely to make this review and going back to the first chapters and seing how everything just MAKES SENSE and how a small thing happening has consequences over everything later. Just HUH brilliant. (I’m thinking about OC’s crush on Jimin here and how through the prism of Mijoo we later see that her crush was her projecting // Jin, now THAT’S WRITING)

The smut, how do I put it, is bomb but it doesn’t feel like smut smut, it feels like actual sex described, not idealized and in my opinion it just adds to the quality of the story, because sex is an essential part of the story, not something added to satiate the hormones of horny readers (as an ex-horny teenager, I want to thank people writing this kind of smut and say that there is nothing wrong with writing this kind of smut) or just for the sake of it because apparently having sex is the culminating point of a relationship. Sex scenes tell a story as much as argument scenes, if not more. First, because as a sex friends to lover AU (smh) it is inherently part of the story but also because the characters don’t just stop having a backstory, emotions and emotional baggage when they have sex, all those things are still present and they influence the way they act in bed. And THAT is satisfying to read.

On many occasions, in the fanfic writing community, you can hear (read?) people saying, « this fiction could / should be published like an actual book » I’m not here to further the debate on real literature, fanfiction and so what not, but this fiction is one that, more importantly than it being published, I feel like I could study in english class, take an extract and study the amazing characterization, how the scene furthers the plot, what are the literary devices used to do so. I feel like I could study the running metaphors, the sub plots and how they correlate so well to the main plot and further the characterization of a character, the plot itself or something else. Everything feels like a neatly knitted masterpiece.

In that aspect, one scene that I particularly liked was the one where OC is hidden listening to JK and Hyejin, and as she hears what he says, she crushes the rose in her hand. It’s such a simple and yet telling idea: her bourgeoning love and hope for a romantic relationship symbolized by the ultimate romantic symbol : a rose, and JK’s words make her try and crush those feelings, but she hurts herself doing so, because the action itself is a painful one — trying to refrain hope / trying to suffocate feelings — but also because love, just like roses has thorns that may hurt, that’s why JK is so afraid of committing it seems, and the irony is that he is doing exactly that to someone else. (My explanation is so messy plfnmesdmflfmqf sorry)

One recurring idea/plot device that I have noticed is the one of misunderstanding / misreading each others. OC and JK constantly misread each others (I’m thinking about the scene in the bar where she rubs his back affectionately and he interprets it in a sexual way) and idk but something about this really hits me hard, because it’s human, so inherently human, this makes the characters feel like human beings not fictional archetypes. Because in real life, we can’t take a step back and have a view of the bigger picture the way we can as an omniscient reader who remembers very well what one said or did earlier that explains their behavior. In real life we dont know and cannot guess why people act a certain way based on some hinted at tragic backstory that would explain their commitment issues.

On a lighter note, the writing is just so freaking FUNNY, like I can’t count how many times I cackled like an idiot reading. + Tayegi has a way of cutting from scenes to scenes or from dialogue to dialogue that is just so FUNNY (if it was a movie I would talk about editing because it’s exactly how it feels, like when you got A saying ‘I will never do that’ and it cuts and the next frame is A doing exactly that)

More on the writing in the notes for every chapter further below.

II. Feminism, social justice and me relating to everything

Ok this part is going to be a bit more personal but I had to address how much main girl and her struggles resonated with me. As a feminist myself I VERY often struggles with the same problem : that is when my beliefs come brutally crashing with the social constructs I have internalized and have yet to deconstruct as well as the people surrounded me who don’t necessarily share the same belief. And the way Tayegi portrayed this is spot on not to say borderline genius.

Her mixed feelings when facing Hoseok « not like other girls » comments or the conversation where she struggles to explain why she is fucking the notorious fuckboy despite her talks about hook-up culture were punches in the guts to me, because feminists are always the ones to be criticized the most easily (I am aware that my phrasing here is horrendous but I don’t know how to word this differently again sorry English is not my native language) and the slightest slip-up will be pointed at by people who aren’t even feminist but see an easy way to gaslight them. So, to read this, to read another woman facing the same situations and being as utterly upset and sometime powerless as I felt, god was it cathartic.

And don’t get me started on the way she always ALWAYS sticks by her principles of sorority, even to the women that have been nothing less than mean to her and how hard it is to support other women when we live in a society that always pit women against each others. I FELT that. But nevertheless main girl tries to, she compliments Somin on her dress, Hiejin as well even though they both have been openly hostile (and even mean sometimes) to her. I truly felt this, all theses little moments, just a sentence here and there, but I felt them in my guts.

III. The characters

The characters, oh god, the characters. OC ? Marry me. JK? Marry me (also I want to slap him but it’s another story). Taehyung ? Marry me. Mijoo? Marry me.

The relationship between OC and her BFF is in my opinion one of the best thing about the pic and one that really remarks it from other, the twist about twist alsmot made me believe it would be like every other pic where oc ends up with virtually no friend (especially female ones because like everyone know girls cause drama riiiight ) but it happens so early ? How could it ooooh it’s not like that, OC and her BFF and mature enough to discuss it, it still has consequences, the scene where OC accuses BFF of pushing her onto Jk to make herself feel better about jimmy still gives me chills because, yeah, it makes sens that she would, and it kinda feels like she did with how insistant she has been, but again, we are told the story from OC’s perspective, so obviously she feels bad when BFF insists that her and JK are meant to be bc she knows that JK wouldn’t date her, but again, as readers, we can kinda see from BFF perspective, they indeed look perfect for one another and only misunderstanding and insecurities and Jk’s past seems to be in the way (okay granted when you say it like that it seems like a lot), but in the end, Mijoo also seems genuine in the way she pushes them together, even though, yeah she might have, consciously or not done it for that reason.

i don’t know if I want a happy ending for OC and JK, I want one because they are so good and sweet together and after everything they’ve been through I feel like they sort of deserve it, but after everything they’ve been through, especially the way JK has behaved, it seems hard for a happy ending to happen. I feel like it’s going to take a lot of time and talking (including his backstory that has been hinted at a few times wink wink) for them to work things out, if they work things out.

I’ve mentioned that before but : THE SORORITY oh lord where do I start? OC standing up for Hyejin and Somin even when they had a few rough patches, sign me the fuck UP. OC not turning totally on her best friend Mijoo (my girl btw) and overlooking their friendship and what she had done for her in the time of Jin because Mijoo made a selfish mistake ? Yes please, MORE.

Hoseok is, in my opinion, spot ON. It took me some time to exactly pin point who he reminded me of but then I realized he is exactly what I call the 'apolitical guy’, who is convinced to not have controversial opinion and would deny ever having prejudice when he clearly has (i.e. the scene where Oc calls him out on his misogynie

I have to admit that Hyejin and Somin are amongst my favorites because even though the plot (and the fact that we are basically supposed to be on OC’s side as the story is told from her perspective) makes them very unsympathetic, your writing allows us to understand their actions and empathize with them. Learning about Hyejin’s past with JK makes her look like the character of a fan fiction where she could have been the main character unfortunately for her, this is OC’s story so Hyejin can’t get the guy in the end. But truly, her backstory feels like an entire other ff in the story and to be honest basically every other character’s backstory as well as the subplots feel this way. And Somin, well Somin is basically going through the same thing as OC but with Hoseok so how can we mock her for it while crying for OC ? That’s impossible and that’s why your writing is so powerful, there is no clear ‘bad guy’ (appart from J*n but who cares about that roquefort face) and everyone is in that gray, humane area.

Every character has so many layer (I don’t count JK and OC in this because at this point we can’t talk about layers anymore it’s a damn millefeuille) and getting to discover more about them is amazing.

Basically, every side character reflects something on OC and JK and further the plot, the themes while feeling like their own individuals with their own complex thoughts and problems and I think that’s fucking brilliant.

And now onto my notes for every chapter (it’s low-key very messy sorry)

Chapter 1 :

Lord to thing that it started with a simple friend request :’)

I love how in the very first line, OC telling Mijoo how she knows JK instantly characterizes him to the reader, it’s smart BUT also characterize OC as someone quick witted and serious/professional but also very sarcastic, funny and taking no shit from anyone. Incipit done well here. I mean, so much exposition is crammed into the very first lines but it just feels soooo natural!

I also love how the dynamic between Mijoo and OC can appear « basic » but will later be revealed to be so much more complex and profound and that’s basically how everything in this fic just keep getting better and more complex as you read.

Also, I love how OC and JK’s first encounter is because they are both trying to help their best friends, I missed it in the first reading but it’s so telling of their characters. Also I appreciate OC not hating on JK just because she hates him from afar and he suddenly notices her and gets turned on by that (like in a lot of ff let’s not lie, I love myself some bad boy!AU but it’s getting redundant), she genuinely seems to not give a fuck about him and it’s so funny to me somehow, my girl just minding her business, getting her straight A’s and doing charity work, we stan. Also, the entire part where they complain about Jimin and Mijoo is downright hilarious

I really like the way JK says the poetry assignment is easy, hinting at the fact that he is, in fact, not a stupid fuckboi cliché (+ what happens with their presentation and him working his BUTT of)

The entire part where OC and Jk act like they are together is so DAMN FUNNY but at the same time it just shows that they have great chemistry from the get go and I love that. (But seriously it’s so f*ing funny)

I love they way OC’s crush on Jimin is brought up, it’s not outwardly said, but the way he is described form her pov makes it obvious and her helplessness when looking at him and Mijoo is just so heartbreaking (+ getting to me on a personal level since I’ve been in a very similar situation for years so :))) like, you can feel that she doesn’t want to be feeling this way, and is obviously trying to help her BFF and be selfless but cannot help but feel jealousy.+ JK immediately catching up on her crush, showing he is more observant than you’d think.

JK and OC being dumb & dumber AND partner in crime is everything I’ve ever wanted

The description of the feeling of loneliness post-parties is so accurate, and the way she feels is so relatable and heartbreaking.

The part about anguish and the way she feels suffocated by her feminine attire got to me and honestly I got really close to cryingThe end of the chapter upsets me in the best way, to see JK be so oblivious to how vulnerable and lonely OC is, man it really makes the entire thing so much more gutswrenching.

Highlights (basically lines that made me laugh or that I find particularly well written) :

“then I don’t know why he’s friended you”

“should I block him too?”

“can you get you get more obvious without tattooing ‘Park Jimin’ on your ass? It’s obvious he owns it anyways”

“why does this kid has so many shirtless selfies”

“it’s like this boy is like a walking cliché of the world’s most basic fuckboi” I see what you did here ;)))

“Ah… you knew?” The way I laugh EVERY time at this line

“Would you be really mad at me if I poured this all over your boobs?“ alkfnenfmefnkgjh Mijoo is my queen

“try her ass instead” JK you absolute moron genius

“Mijoo as been trying to get you laid since freshman” I looove how this just sounds so random and plays into the cliché of the extroverted BFF trying to drag OC to parties and get her laid but with OC’s backstory // Jin it makes SO much more sense

“I won’t feed you lies” he, said, you know, like a liar.

“Your worth as a woman isn’t defined by your purity or whatever bullshit” love the hint at the later reveal that JK is, indeed, a woke king. We stan

“But unfortunately, you aren't the altruistic saint you wish you could be. You suffer from the same human emotions that plague everyone. And they aren't pretty.Despite what the artists and poets claim, the world works in a logical way. It's a simple mathematical formula. Girls like Mijoo end up with their princes. And you remain a bitter stepsister, helpless but to watch their happily ever after from a distance. One that you'll never achieve.” God that part....

“Here is a man who actually wants you. Not you, but your body, a little voice in the back of your head reminds you. But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that someone might actually desire you… ... He feels so thick inside of you that for a moment, the hole in your chest is filled” This is what I mean when I say that the smut in this story makes SENSE

“You wish you could cling onto this feeling forever so you'll never feel empty again.” The way this scene is supposed to be all smut sexy time but it is actually one of the most emotionally packaged and heart wrenching scene, really I can’t with your writing </333

“He grins at that, "I thought you knew me better than to take anything I said seriously?“Jk you manipulative mf I hate your fuckboi ass

"Ugh, please don't tell me you're a cuddler," you grumble as you twist in his embrace. "I'm not," he denies, but the way he buries his nose in your hair says otherwise, "And don't think about asking me to stay the night, because I'm not that kind of guy." The dynamic of the entire duo summed up in one paragraph

Chapter 2 :

The moment she reassures Mijoo and see what she is missing is :((

I remember than the first time I read new rules and feminist JK came clean I was honestly shocked (years of being guarded around men’s misoginy and fake feminism I guess) but re-reading it, it’s so nice to see the hints everywhere that he genuinely is and it warms my heart.

The convo JK and OC have about relationships and meaningless sex is not only such a good foreshadowing of the problems they will face later when it comes to coming clean about both their feelings (looking at you JK you moron) but also such a relatable feeling of ‘I know I said men are trash but I’m still vaguely heterosexual and would really like to believe that some aren’t and I know it sounds like I’m reassuring myself and honestly I am because it’s starting to become hard to really believe that’

The twits oh god the TWIST!!! The heartbreak it gave me, I was going to put some sentences in the highlights but honestly I almost ended up putting the entire scene so I gave in but it’s just so well written and nerve wracking to see what could have been and to realize that the friend that OC has been putting so much effort into helping betrayed her. Like, I can emphasis enough how much I cried reading this, considering I have been in a very similar situation, and that’s probably why this struck a chord so powerfully but wow.

The blowjob scene is simply another brilliant double meaning smut scene, the way OC is trying to regain control over something, someone, even if it’s not the one she wants, the way she makes him beg to hear compliments, heartbreaking (I know I’ve said this word like a million time and we’re just on chapter 2 but your writing really is something else)

The scene where she confronts Mijoo is in my opinion one of the BEST I have ever read, the way you can feel her heartbreak and her powerlessness but also the maturity she exudes, the way she tries to be the bigger person and do what’s right, lord I see myself here and it fucking hurts.

“He really likes you, Mijoo. Don’t let him slip away… You’ll only regret it.” The double meaning that applies to OC here is killing me

“On any other day, this is the kind of party you would protest, running around with a half dozen other of your feminist friends as you collect signatures for a boycott.” <3

“Wait… what makes you think that we’re supposed to be the hoes?” <3 <3

“Yeah. You really do.” Jk sometimes I really like you

“No, sweetheart. You’re the childish one for not being able to accept grown up emotions. Why is falling in love and caring for someone outside of their physical appearance so shameful to you? You need to grow the fuck up and realize that feeling for another human being does not make you weak.”<3 <3 <3

“Frat brothers are despicable…except this one, of course.” Absolutely love how first reading makes it sound like her crush is speaking and second reading shows her idealization of him here

“You swallow the lump in your throat. It would be one thing to see them wildly making out or grinding in the mosh pit like all the other horny kids. But to see them so enveloped in each other, content to just hug for the rest of the night… It hurts you more than you can express. You’d rather walk in on them fucking. This display of the purest affection… No one has ever held you like that before.You’re jealous. It’s shameful how horrendously jealous you are.”</3

“You need me?” you repeat in a small voice.” OC baby I get you I love you and you deserve th world ;(( </3

“You feel like such a villain, grilling this angel and making her upset. It’s such an irritating feeling, but you can’t choke it back.“It’s not like I liked him anyways…” Lord what have you done to my heart and I think it’s my favorite sentence in the entire story !

Chapter 3 :

OC protecting and looking out for Yerin is just so adorable I CAN’T

The discussion with Hyejin, the foreshadowing!!!!!!!

The way OC is self-aware and thinks JK only wants her body (and at the time it was highly likely) just makes the scene that much more heartbreaking, which makes me realize that all the smut scene up until now have been that way.

The entire chapter feels like a BIG call out to me thanks for that I guess. (I’m kidding it was wonderful and actually got me reflecting a lot on my habits and self deprecation)

“the ugly cage around your heart loosen a bit”

“Wow, your fungal cream is so nice. I hope you get that infection checked out." We love a considerate and caring man

“You would take this over the hollowness in your chest. You would gladly take the meaningless sex, the hard pounding of your pussy without a single gesture of affection. Who needs an emotional connection when you can have the pain beat out of you? Who needs someone to like you when you have someone to use you?” No words.

Chapter 4 :

I don’t know if I said that already but I just looooove the way you sprinkle hints here and here about everything ! Foreshadowing events and future revelations it’s just so nice to read and makes second (and third, and fourth) reading sooooo much more entraining and satisfying <3333. Like Oc and Mijoo are drunk and we get a snip at what happened freshman year, there were other hints previously but this just makes the reader WANT to know what the f* went down. And it makes up for Mijoo betrayal, it’s a nice way of explaining why OC « brushed » over her betrayal, we know that she was there in such a hard time for OC and yes it really builds the suspense around that whilst portraying Mijoo as more than the fake BFF who betrayed, I love that.

I love the way you use the word ‘ugly’ and how it’s very often associated with jealousy.

I want to address how much I adore your side characters and sub-plots. Like all of them are so likable (even Somin) and feel like genuine people with their own complex thoughts, seriously your characterization is out of this world! (special shout-out to Yoongi who is spot-ON imo). Like, I want to hangout with these people and be their friends.

ALso I feel like we are really starting to see Jk and OC’s chemistry (unrelated to being evil little matchmaker) and it’s SOOOOOO good, it feels so natural and seeing them slowly slide into a romantic relationship (don’t tell Jk) seems like the most natural thing (+ everyone thinking they are actually together and honestly they are)

"Hey so you like kick around a ball or whatever?" I love your humor I genuinely laughed at this

"Balls?" he says pointedly.” Same here

"Who are you talking about?" Jungkook asks in confusion, "I don't have a—ah you mean ___?" You sure didn’t think for long jk 👀👀and you didn’t even deny it 👀👀👀and you came as soon as being asked 👀👀👀👀👀👀sus

"Beats me," he whispers back, "I didn't even know we had a soccer team until this week!"LMAOOOOOOOOO

Chapter 5 :

The foreshadowing with Bang telling JK he is worried about his performance !! That’s why I love this fic so much! EVERYTHING is here, nothing happens out of the blue, you just have to pay attention to things to see things coming and not in a predictable but rather gratifying way.

The scene where OC hugs JK ? a masterpiece. I don’t know what more to say about it, it’s one of those things that touch on such a level that deconstructing it feels impossible and would break the spell, the intimacy I felt between the two of them and the stark contrast with Hyejin are perfect to characterize their relationship. Feels natural behind closed doors but lacking the words to clarify what they are, especially when faced with other people, and themselves. I L O V E it.

“you watch Taehyung roll around in the grass with his high-tech camera” don’t know why this is so funny to me but it is

"Are we not speaking the same language right now?!" Jungkook barks into the receiver, "Are you fucking high?" The fact that he barks it makes it even funnier

Chapter 6 :

Oc’s conversation with Taehyung about hookup culture (and her behavior at large) just SCREAM ‘I have had such a terrible experience with love before that I cannot even begin to think about letting it happen again otherwise I will never love again’ and it HURTS. But! The way she approaches things with such maturity and is so in touch with her feelings is simply admirable.

When OC is caught between Hoseok and JK at the party !!! It’s so frustrating but in the best way possible because they got soooo close to actually talking things out clearly and making things better but their pride and whatever got in the way and we know it! JK and Oc I love y’all but also you’re so stupid. (Also it’s exactly what I was talking about in my ‘misunderstanding each others’ part. I feel like this is during this chapter that they really start to fuck up the communication because that’s the chapter where it becomes abundantly clear that feeeeelings are starting to get into the mix, they both try to distract themselves (unconsciously or not) with someone else, HYejin and Hoseok, and miserably fails.

Also the domesticity!! That’s cute and fluffy and I’m blushing like I’m 12 year old again.

“You’re right, » he says « I have to get more creative” I have said that Taehyung is hands down the funniest character here ?

"I want someone to choose me," you admit in a small voice, "I want someone to fall for my personality—to love me because of my hot temper and annoying disobedience, not in spite of it. I want this person to be surrounded by prettier, nicer, sweeter girls, but still seek me out… I'd rather them fall for my personality first, then settle for superficial traits like my lacking appearance… Is that really too much to ask?" Once again, thanks for calling me out also I’m crying this is one of the best paragraphs you have written

“He's like a character from a 1950's romance novel stepped off the page” Oc sweetheart remember something else about the 50’s 👀👀 Like ... the sexism ?

“The moon is high in the sky at this point of night, not shrouded by dark clouds for once, and illuminating the entire rooftop with its luminous silvery gleam. But for some reason, it seems like all the moonlight concentrates into a single beam on Hoseok, surrounding him in a brilliant white halo. You swallow tightly and drop your gaze as though burned.” The imagery here is beautiful and I like that you associated him with the moon when he is usually the sun

"Oh, honey… You don't have to pretend to be strong in front of me." And there goes my heart.

"Did you think I was going to let her sleep on the streets or something?" is his sarcastic reply.You roll your eyes, "Thanks, Yoongi." We love character development (their friendship is so endearingly funny)

"Right… But um… what happened after the game on Saturday… uh…" A blush suddenly suffuses his cheeks, coloring his skin a lovely shade of rose, "I… I just wanted to—""Ah, that's right. There's another game next week," you hastily steer the conversation away, terrified by what he might say. "Don't worry, I'll be there too. I really need to start writing this article.""Oh, right… That's exactly what I was going to say," he says, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.” I want to slap some sense in these idiots’ heads

"Yeah, but the problem is that I don’t want to." I am S C R E E C H I N G

Chapter 7 :

The scene where they wake up together and he smiles and calls her pretty and the misunderstanding scene makes me want to slap them you belated idiots

SO MUCH things happen in this chapter and I think it’s one of my favorite!! I have to say that the scene where OC protests against the date auction and faces the resistance of her sorority hit close to home. It’s always so heartbreaking to see fellow girls complying to sexism.

Also also, feminist JK keeps me up at night. Fuck yeah. (You know the lisa simpson meme with the orange juice, that’s me with feminist JK, give me MORE of that.

Also, her performance : I C O N I C

"You're just exclusive fuck buddies… Even though you don't do casual sex and Jungkook doesn't do exclusive. It totally doesn't feel like you're hiding your feelings." My thought exactly Mijoo

“Staying so guarded might protect you from pain… But it'll also protect you from any happiness." *Slow clapping*

“Why would you go for someone who doesn't see your worth? You deserve to be with someone picks you out in a sea of people. Who likes you the best." 👀👀👀

"…Do not resuscitate… Got it," you solemnly note.” You’re so funnyykekzldk

“You aggressively bid from backstage, even as Taehyung motions for you to get lost” I laughed out loud at this

« sold » HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJIfhehfqenfoneqlfnqdkfncqefnlmzfkbnrdbfksvm kjnefkenfe hAAAAH ????!!! flefnekf HIIII ç!!!!ç!uj

Chapter 8 :

I’m sorry there is not much commentary about this one but I can for the life of me read it with a critical eye since I’m too caught up in the suspense and the fact that a million things are happening, the only thing I can think about is that your fiction, although it is a college AU is so versatile and you touch on so many other genre (here : sport) and manage to successfully make every single one enthralling and further your plot!

“Maybe if I had lost, you would've hugged me again." HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJZKELMLDIZPEKDLEBDLLDKKEJ

"Please, ___. Please don't go."But sheer panic flashes in his eyes when you attempt to shake him loose. "Don't leave me," he croaks out in desperation, "Please, ___. Don't leave me…"Not like she did." Don’t think I’m not seeing what you’re doing here 👀👀

Chapter 9 :

I feel high-key stupid because that’s like the 6th time I read New rules but I just realized that there might be a parallel going on between Jk and OC’s story, it’s obvious with the hints that you’ve sprinkled that something bad happened with JK’s past girlfriend but it’s just now re-reading Oc’s backstory with Jin that I realize that JK might have been in the ‘fucking around to get back/over his ex’ stage of his breakup like OC in the summer Freshman year, which led to him having his fuckboy reputation despite not ‘really’ being one (i.e. him saying that he hates hookup culture when Oc talks about her story)

Also, empathetic, feminist and understanding men make me w*t.

"Yes," he says, a smile tugging at his lips, "Yes, you did." I sEE YOU

"I don't know what goes through that fantastical imagination of yours” This might be my favorite line ever

“But you don't move one inch. Because you know Jungkook better than that.” Aaaawwwwwwww

Chapter 10 :

This is some greek tragedy shit right here. Mijoo trying to push OC and Jk because she feels guilty about JImin (she way you write it makes it seem so believable but I can’t decide if it’s true or not because we are seeing Oc’s perspective here and she knows she actually crushed on Jimin while Mijoo doesn’t, which would be a huge factor in her pushing OC towards JK) and also because she is the only one with a brain? Oc refusing to believe it and opposing semi-logical semi-bullshit arguments to convince Mijoo and even more herself that this isn’t happening because she heard JK talking to Hyejin ? Jk saying that because he’s an insecure asshole (and also very probably because of his ex girlfriend wink wink) whilst acting like the most belated man, ever ? Na a TRAGEDY!!!!!

Also, the entire speech that Mijoo gives, everything she says ???? A punch to the GUTS! ! !

THEY NEVER UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER THEY CONSTANTLY THINK THE WRONG THING I WANT TO TIE THEM TO A CHAIR AND FORCE THEM TO ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (in a oh god HOW are they going to fix this and finally come to an understanding of each other kind of way)

He finally breathes when she says his name I’m :(((((((((

“it wasn’t fun” Love how this simple line implies that Mijoo and Jimin have problems and arguments of their own and makes them feel like human beings who have a life outside of the story.

“Or was your image of him so perfect and unrealistic that you couldn't tolerate these humanizing details?" Ouch!

"You're only pushing Jungkook on me to ease your guilt for stealing Jimin away from me!" I don’t have the words to explain the way I felt when I first read this line except : oh fuck. Goosebumps. Literal goosebumps.

"I like him," you abruptly confess, your soft voice breaking through the tense silence the same way the brilliant meteors abruptly burst across the darkness of night. "I like him so much." Masterpiece

“It's equally horrifying and an absolute relief to finally admit this deeply harbored secret after so long. After all these months of repression, it feels like a dam has burst with the way your emotions come tumbling out, threatening to choke you and sweep you underwater.” I said MASTERPIECE ! !

“Mijoo," you gasp, "What do I do?" Im crying. This isn’t a figure of speech. This isn’t an exaggeration. I’m crying. This entire scene is so powerful

“You know your role. You're just the side character—the best friend or comic relief. You have no right to even dream about a life by Jungkook's side—much less to feel this amount of pain and jealousy seeing him with another girl” .... talk about being relatable

“The loud electronic beat is pulsing through your veins with the same painful intensity of the tequila beating against the soft tissue of your brain. You feel like you’re being consumed by the powerful sensations… and yet, it's not enough to protect you from the helpless thoughts drifting across your mind, no matter how much you try to ward them back.” You really shine when it comes to making me cry

"Can't you just let me be petty and sulk for once?" Baby :(

“How could you have misinterpreted the situation so horrifically?” Well we have this saying in French that goes : love makes you fucking blind

“At this point of night, the moon has fully risen overhead, and its silvery rays cast down across the ocean, illuminating everything in white-gold. Awed, you can't help admiring the way the moonbeams kiss the top of Jungkook's black hair and the angles of his face, sheathing his figure like a cold halo.The waves continue to beat against the sandy beach like clockwork, and you sway with them, as though lost in a rhythmic dance lulled by the force of the moon. Your thundering pulse acts as a metronome in this dance, pounding away at a dozen beats per each drag across the shore. You are cold. So cold that you've lost all feeling in your hands and legs. But for some reason, you don't feel the need to shiver anymore.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“Could it have possibly been a defense mechanism? Was he just trying to protect himself in advance?” We are making PROGRESS

"Why is everything about sex with you?" HE SAID! AS IF HE WANS’T ABOUT TO DO WHAT HE IS AVOUT TO DO AND MAKE IT ABOUT SEX I HATE THIS MF

Chapter 11 :

My heart is non existent.The way Oc swallows her feelings to protect Yerin and stands up for her ❤️

I want to thank you for introducing a gay character in your story also Yoongi is one of the most interesting character in the story.

The way everything is slowly coming to a conclusion and every piece of the puzzle settles in the right place is so damn satisfying UGH

The scene where OC confronts Jk is so fucking satisfying, a masterpiece, 10/10, everything I wanted to hear come out of her mouth, my girl knows what’s up and won’t let this fucker get away with it.

"I've told you since day one that I'm not that kind of guy. God, can you even imagine me in a relationship?" he says with a derisive snort that feels like a punch to your stomach, "Did you honestly think that you could trap me into one with sex, ___? Or with a kiss? Come on. Get real." Your insecurities are showing asshole

"I hope you get over this soon, ___," he tells you in a sincere tone, "So we can get back to the way things were." Fight me in a parking lot salopard de merde

“Well, at least you've learned your lesson now.” I had to take a pause after this part

"What if they were my parents?" he asks in a quiet voice, "My siblings? My community back home? The people I love most in this world? What would you have me do then?" As a closeted bisexual this one hit close to home

“But Yoongi turns to you with an incredulous look, "You can't be serious. Anyone with eyes could tell that Kook is completely whipped for you. Where is this coming from?” Yoongi is my man

"You're a fucking coward." My thoughts exactly

Chapter 12 :

Getting through this chapter without crying is genuinely hard..All the girls standing up for themselves and not taking shit for the shitty men in their lives ???? YES PLEAse. And thank you for not only that but also including the girls that the story pushed us not to like that much up until now like Hyejin and Somin when really they were going through the same things as the holy trinity of best girls OC, Mijoo and Yerin.

I have… mixed feelings and I feel like these feelings are exactly what OC has been feeling all along with the conflict between her beliefs and her heart. I wanted them to go through this and by being « willing » JK would have eventually just realized everything and stuff because I love romance and shit. But I also want OC to get what she deserves, and it’s not that. I want them to have this happy ever after end but I feel like we won’t get that before long because as Hyejin pointed out, JK clearly needs to grow the fuck up.

"Oh, ___," she sighs your name.” Don’t mind me I’ll be crying over there

“For a split second, you consider feigning ignorance. It would be so damn easy to laugh along with him and continue living this lie of being the cool, sporty tomboy who doesn't care about stupid "girly" things. After all, Hoseok isn't a bad guy. He's so handsome, popular, and kind. And he likes you. Someone actually likes you. Isn't that better than being alone? For a split second, you're tempted to grab his hand and flash him an award-winning smile. For a split second, you contemplate giving up all your morals and living a life of comfort with this lovely, charismatic man.” I love you so much for writing this

"Sexist?" he repeats in horror, "The fuck are you talking about?! I'm no sexist!" You’ve perfectly channeled the and OC’s entire speech to him should be taught in school

"We're just in different places right now," you inform him in a small voice, "It'll never work out, so please don't make this harder than it needs to be." I’m dying but also proud, producing

"I think I'll channel Somin and cut the toxicity out of my life." Attagirl

To wrap up this overly long review, I want to say thank you to Tayegi for writing this piece and feeling generous enough to share it with us, reading this story and seeing the plot unravel, characters be introduced and developed was a true privilege. I rarely connect with the « reader » in reader fics and just say a random name in my head (or even 'your name ») but here, here… Never have I been so close to actually feeling like I’m the one in the fiction, not for the romance but for the way she is portrayed, for her ideas and how hard it is to stand by them sometimes, for her past and traumas. New rules is a masterpiece, and the fact that I connected to it on such a personal level, which, arguably could cloud my judgement, doesn’t make it any less.

#BTS jungkook #jeon jungkook #jeongguk #jungkook #jk #bts fanfic #fanfic review #New rules #god I finally finished this #I feel strangely nostalgic because I read this ff when I was in a really bad place and it resonated with me on so many levels #like it brought me comfort and to finish this feels like closure even though it's not even finished #it's like finishing harry potter all over again gosh #please read it :(((#I never see Tayegi and her amazing work in people pic recs and like recommandations it makes so sad she is the most talented person #I have been a silent reader for too long it was my way of compensating for that #Tayegi if you're reading this tags don't stress over updating this isn't about making you post faster this is me thanking you

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minijenn · 4 years

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Random Keys/UF Crossover Ideas

Because I’m torn between both of my projects right now and I hate myself, here’s something that’ll only really appeal to the very niche audience of people who read both Universe Falls and Keys to the Kingdom. Basically its a list of somewhat spoilery (for Keys more than UF) headcanons of what it might be like if the Gravity Falls world scheduled to be in Keys was a Universe Falls world instead (in the sense that it still takes place in Gravity Falls physically but like... its set in the universe of Universe Falls (oy I’m explaining too much lemme just start rambling off the random ideas that have been popping into my head over the last several days of this hypothetical crossover of my two stupid fanfics):

For reference’s sake, on the UF end of things, this would take place somewhere around the middle of arc10ish, pretty close to Weirdmageddon as the GF world in Keys is gonna take place pretty close to Weirdmageddon too.

For Keys, the trip to this world would still take place in the same spot the GF world does, so semi close to the end of the story, as one of the last Disney worlds of the fic (guess it wouldn’t really be a “Disney” world here but ehhhhhh)

Guess I better give some context about what’s going on in each fic around that time; UF’s is easier to do so we’ll start with that; basically without spoiling a certain upcoming arc ender too much, during arc 10, everyone’s sorta frazzled what between all of the interdimensional travel, worries about Bill coming back and causing chaos, worries about the Diamonds possibly getting involved in stuff, shaken by the recent revelation that Rose allegedly shattered Pink Diamond and so on (basically there’s a lot going on in the leadup to UF’s ending hahaha)

Context for Keys (again without getting too spoilery (gotta tread even more careful here) is that by this point in the story Sora is basically in nonstop Panic Mode about the whole norting thing thanks to a certain encounter with one Bald Old Fuckhead during the Aladdin world immediately before this; so Sora’s on the run from basically his entire support system cause he’s all worried about unintentionally hurting his friends (and he also just doesn’t want Riku or Kairi in particular to see what’s happening to him cause Disaster Bi).

Cont. Context for Keys cause that last bullet point was Long: Despite all this fuckin Angst, Sora’s still out searching for the Keys on his own in the hopes of securing the final few for the guardians of light before he can be fully norted and forced into handing them over to the Organization instead

Not to mention those freak relatively dark/light powers of his are alll outta whack cause he A. Doesn’t know how to control them At All and B. Is Emotionally Distraught so that’s only making things worse

And the entire gang is more or less out searching the worlds tryin’ to find Sora (he yeeted his Gummi Phone off a fuckin cliff or something just so nobody could get in touch with him smh what a waste of a perfectly good cell phone); among the teams that are out doing so include the one we’re gonna focus on here, Ven and Roxas

Back to the UF end of things, I wanna talk about where each of the Mystery Kids are at this point; Steven is sorta all over the place with, again, the revelation that his mom could have been a murderer; Dipper is hella nervous about the idea of Bill getting his hands on the Rift (even moreso after RMD cause PTSD is Somethin Else kids), Mabel is in that mindset of not wanting the summer to end so they can all stay together, and Connie is basically (as usual) the only one with any brain cells as she’s trying to hold the gang together

(lowkey spoilers for the Keys GF chapters start here) So Sora arrives in Gravity Falls, suffering from all the angsts and anxieties and whatnot and just Not Having a Very Good Time Emotionally/Mentally as he starts lookin around for the Key in the woods or whatever

But lo and behold everyone’s favorite Evil Corn Chip just so happens to be spyin’ on him, and before too long Bill makes his appearance and acts all friendly to Sora, claiming that he can basically undo the whole norting thing (which he knows all about because of course he would, this is Bill Fucking Cipher we’re talking about here)

Sora’s skeptical but at the same time he’s sort of willing to do whatever he can at this point to keep his heart from being taken over by Mr. Bald Old Fuckhead and all Bill is asking for in return is for him to nab some sparkly snow globe that he claims already belongs to him but was stolen by some local family who Bill makes out to be pretty bad so hey, why not at least give it a shot? (dumb, the kid is dumb this is something we’ve established many times over by this point)

So Sora sets out to look for both the rift and the Key (while also being harangued by Xemnas who’s the Org. baddie of the GF world but errrrr i don’t have a ton of ideas about what he’s gonna do yet so we’ll just skip over that for now and focus on somethin else)

Something else being the fact that Sora happens upon a bunch of kids being attacked by a group of Nobodies, so he swoops in to save them even though the kids already look like they’re holding their own pretty well against them (two of them are out here swinging swords around, one’s really handy with that grappling hook while another one has some sort of magical shield? Its weird??? But cool imo)

So they all team up to take the Nobodies out and following that, Sora meets and mostly hits it off with the Mystery Kids

Mabel is super hype (she kinda instantly crushes on Sora as soon as she sees him even though he’s too fuckin old for her); Steven and Sora radiate the same sort of Sweet But Sad energy so of course they’re best friends immediately

Connie’s a lil bewildered by Sora (who the hell goes around swinging a giant key like its a sword, that’s just not practical???) but Dipper’s distrustful radar is instantly raised for a a number of reasons, but the biggest red flag he notices about Sora by far is that his eyes are yellow (btw by this point his eyes will more or less be completely yellow and his hair almost entirely white; he usually wears his hood up to try and hide that, but it got blown off during the forementioned fight)

So the kids were out and about in the woods for mystery hunting reasons, mostly cause they were trying to cool their heads from all of the stress they’re under mentioned earlier (and cause hey, the summer’s ending soon and they gotta spend all the time they can together at this point)

However, they quickly change gears when they learn about Sora’s quest to find some magical Key and they all eagerly decide they wanna help with that cause it sounds hella rad; Dipper would likely be the only dissenter to this plan, but he’d be lowkey about it, kinda deciding to keep a suspicious eye on Sora all the while (he doesn’t really act like he’s being possessed by Bill, but ya can never be too sure nowadays...)

So they all set out in search of the Key (Sora decides not to tell them about Bill or the rift just yet, but even so right off the bat he’s basically decided “yes I’m adopting all four of these kids as my new little brothers and sisters and no one can stop me”)

So cut to the other end of things and we have Ven and Roxas who have basically only just met each other face to face for the first time (they’re both basically constantly doin that spiderman look alike meme); they’ve been more or less teamed up to look for Sora together tho, and they both got a massive guilt complex about the whole thing cause they used to be able to directly protect him inside his heart but now they can’t since they’re out of it so they’re determined to find him and make sure he’s OK

They also show up in Gravity Falls, arriving much closer to the Mystery Shack and the Gem Temple than Sora did; since its the closest thing nearby, the boys decide to venture over to the Mystery Shack to look first

After some brief, confused yet fun conversation with Soos and Wendy, they bump into Stan and that initial meeting goes something like:

Stan: Who the hell are you two supposed to be? You twins or something?

Roxas: No??? What the fuck is a twin??

Ventus, realizing that Roxas has like 0 real world experience or regard for world order at that moment right fucking there: (oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck) Ummmm YES WE ARE WE’RE TOTALLY TWINS AHAHA AREN’T WE BROTHER?

Roxas, immensely confused: What the hell is a brother??

And then Ford shows up and Roxas looks between him and Stan is just like “ooooh ok now I get what a twin is” and Ven is just like “oh my god I think Roxas managed to catch some of Sora’s stupidity after all asdkjalsdkalsd”

Anyway after all this awkward confusion is over, Roxas and Ven bring up that they’re there looking for someone, and while neither Stan nor Ford are that invested, they do offhandedly mention maybe the Crystal Gems can help

Ironically enough, the Gems happen to burst into the shack right then and there, taking refuge from the surge of strange creatures swarming outside (Nobodies & Heartless); the Gems are rather overwhelmed by them since their weapons don’t work that great on them so they’ve come to seek Ford’s help (since he’s got all those weapons and lasers and shit he keeps stockpiled)

In this Ven and Roxas end up meeting the Gems and both of them are just like :O (Ven’s lowkey like, “Aqua would get along great with these ladies, they’re total badasses just like her!”) and the Gems just kinda pass the boyos off like “yeah whatever there’s a fuckton of monsters outside meanwhile where are our kids?”

Stan and Ford are like *shrug* cause neither of them are very good at being Responsible when it comes to keeping an eye on these danger-prone kids and the Gems are just like *facepalm* “Morons” so they set out to find the kids and Ven and Roxas are like “well they know their way around here so why not go with them to see if we can find Sora too!” and so they all head out on a lil adventure

Then a whole bunch of stuff happens on both sides of the plot that I haven’t bothered to figure out; bunch of cute character interactions and whatever; insert possible second encounter with Xemnas in here somewhere where he basically shows up just to intimidate Sora but Sora’s like “no way jose, you touch any of these precious kiddos and you’ll Die”

Somewhere in here, under... some circumstances, Sora and the MK make it back to the shack but like... everyone’s gone? (cause they all went out to look for them, didn’t even leave a note, fuckin rude)

They search the house for anybody and then, on complete fuckin accident, Sora finds his way down into the basement (the portal room to be exact) and what else does he find down there but that thing Bill asked him to get (the rift)!

Though he’s a little confused about why its there (Bill did say some awful family “stole” the rift from him, but none of the MK are awful, they a bunch of Good Kids); Sora still pockets it like a desperate dummy dumb anyway and doesn’t say a word about it to the kids because he thinks they might be too innocent and young to know anything about it anyway (he’s wrong of course because much like him these kids are Traumatized with a capital T but we’ll just ignore that for now)

Still on the search for that Key, Sora and the kids head out only to run right into Stan, Ford, and the Gems on the way out; course, Ven and Roxas are still with them and they see Sora and they’re like :D while Sora’s just like “aw fuck” and runs away from his problems like always

So he rushes off into the woods and who else would show up but that Motherfuckin Evil Corn Chip again who’s like “yo kid ya got the stuff” and Sora’s just like “brb having a panic attack rn” but then he ends up obliviously handing the rift over anyway cause again he’s incredibly desperate for any way out of his current horrible situation

Of course because I’m a sap for Drama, he happens to do so just as all four of the MK show up, having followed him into the woods and ohohohoh boy oh boy let’s just say them seeing Sora just up and giving the rift over to Bill would be a Moment (well, at least for Steven and Dipper cause they actually know what the fuckin rift is unlike Mabel and Connie who still wouldn’t at that point)

So basically Bill is a little shit and takes the rift, but he can’t actually fuckin do anything with it cause he’s a physical object and he’s still intangible (or somethin like that idk I just don’t want Weirdmageddon to happen cause it would make things too complicated) so he’s like “fuck gotta find some stupid sap to possess so I can smash this dumb thing” and he nearly targets Sora (cause the kid was already stupid enough to help him in the first place so why not?) until Steven ends up being the one to fend him off using his shield

Bill shrugs it off and makes off with the rift anyway (its like... hovering or something? idk I’m running out of steam) and everyone panics of course, especially Sora cause he’s just like “well shit I certainly Fucked Up didn’t i?” and the MK are both a mix of “YOU THINK?” (from Dipper and Connie mostly) and “imo not your fault Bill’s tricked just about all of us he’s an asshole” (from Steven and Mabel)

Amidst this a bunch of lil things also happen; the Stans and the Gems show up (along with Ven and Roxas), basically everyone is immensely confused (aka those who have no idea what the fucking rift is) and alarmed (those who do know what the rift is) that Bill has what he needs to more or less fuck the entire world over

So everyone just decides to put everything aside and team up all together to track Bill down and get the rift back before he can break it (there’s a lot of heartwarming trust moments in here, mostly cause trust is like... the cornerstone theme of the GF chapters in Keys for obvious reasons)

They eventually do find him and *insert big epic battle scene here* where everyone teams up to basically beat Bill to death or whatever (don’t ask me how they be doin that if he’s intangible, again I.... I’m tired and this post is long enough as it is)

Yadda yadda yadda they beat him, get the rift back and effectively prevent Weirdmageddon from happening to begin with (which just does SO much wonderful fuckery for UF’s timeline moving forward but whatever, this ain’t about that)

Oh and during that Climactic Battle Scene somewhere there’s some bit about Sora learning to better trust others/himself that leads to him getting the world’s Key? I-I I dunno its a work in progress...

Anyway after this there’s a lot of good character interactions all around, reconciliations between the UF characters and the Keys characters, particularly between Sora and the MK (again he’s adopted these kiddos and don’t you forget it)

So with the Key in hand, Sora starts to leave and Roxas and Ven almost convince him to go back with them until *insert Big Keys Spoiler here that results in the Organization getting their hands on that Key Sora just got and also results in Sora running away again cause... reasons*

And that’s the end of the chapters or whatever idk

There’s probably more ideas I had in mind for this but I literally can’t do anymore my brain is dying

I might possibly write this for reals someday i dunno I’m stuck in two personal hells here so I might as well combine ‘em

Yes I’m aware this post leans more heavily on Keys than UF but its set in the world of UF so fuck off

Feel free to add on with any thoughts you might have about the idea

I’m tired

Amen

#jen writes #universe falls #keys to the kingdom #long post is loooooong #headcanons #ideas #who am i kidding i will literally never do anything with this idea ofther than this very fucking post #then again... i like Angst :)#and UF and Keys both got plenty of it

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rosaline-kei · 4 years

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What a Marry, Merry Christmas! (part 1)

Disclaimer:I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan

Parts: 「1」/ 「2」

Chapter 1′s Title: Hanji

Synopsis: "I love you Hanji Zoe, will you marry me?"

Rated: T

Pairings: Levi Ackerman / Hanji Zoe, minor Eren Jaeger / Mikasa Ackerman

Read it also on / Leave a Review at:

Ao3 or FF net

Author’s Note : again wow im late its not even christmas here anymore im so disappointed in myself smH. Anyways, merry christmas and happy holidays to y’all :) enjoy this cringe i wrote a year ago on ff net sigh; im gonna regret publishing this here lol

Mikasa had been playing with her daughter, Sachiko. Well, that was until she was disturbed by a loud thud at her door. The two of them flinched upon hearing the loud thud, curious as to what or who it was at their doorstep.

"Stay here, Sachiko." Mikasa had instructed before she approached the door cautiously. Sachiko gave a small obedient nod, restraining herself from letting curiosity get the better of her. The last thing Mikasa hoped it was, was a burglar at her doorstep who failed miserably at his or her plan. Then again, what idiot burglar would charge straight at a door, creating a racket? Well, whatever. Christmas was coming, the day of giving and gifting, and Mikasa didn't mind giving the burglar a nice punch to his or her stomach, that is, if it's a burglar.

Looking through the peephole, Mikasa relaxed her shoulders before she heaved out a heavy sigh to see who it was.

"Mama? Who is it?" Sachiko queried curiously.

"Who do you think would charge straight at a closed and locked door before knocking on it?" Mikasa groaned. Before Sachiko could answer, Mikasa unlocked and opened the door to reveal none other than Hanji, who was still murmuring, "ow, ow, ow…"

"Four-eyes!" Sachiko exclaimed eagerly before she sprinted over to Hanji. Mikasa's daughter had picked up that nickname from her uncle, Levi, who would often call her that. Hanji wasn't too bothered by her calling her that, it was more of she missed the times where she'd call her 'big sis Hanji'. It just had more of a nice ring to it, at least to Hanji.

"Ah, little Sachi!" Hanji giggled a little before embracing the little girl who jumped into a grasp. "And how many times have I told you that I'm big sis Hanji, not four eyes." Hanji had pouted as she tickled the girl a little, Sachiko laughed. "Okay! Okay! I'm sorry big sis Hanji!"

Mikasa only heaved out another sigh, shaking her head. A cold wind blew by, the snow following the breeze—which was thankfully not to Mikasa's direction. It reminded the raven it was winter—that it was freezing out. "Hurry on and come in, before either one of you catch a cold." Mikasa chided.

After being welcomed in, Hanji sat on the couch while Mikasa went to quickly brew them some tea. Shortly, she returned with three cups of herbal tea. After passing one to Hanji, the brunette took a quick slurp out of it. "I don't know what is it with you Ackermans and tea, but whatever you all make it's so good!" Hanji exclaimed.

"That shorty taught me when we were younger. So ask him. Anyway, what are you doing here?" Mikasa queried as she passed the next cup to Sachiko, who nodded a small thanks as she began to sip it slowly.

"Ahaha… well, you see…" Hanji murmured, before she started to explain her so-called predicament that she was now stuck in. Long story short, she didn't know what to get for her boyfriend, Levi. After listening to Hanji's rant about how hard is it to get a gift for Levi for about five minutes, Mikasa had cut her off. "And why does that bring you here?"

"Because you're an Ackerman! And he's an Ackerman! So, you should know what the best thing I could get him is! I mean, Ackerman logic!"

"Hanji…it doesn't work that way—ah, whatever." Mikasa sighed, it wasn't worth the effort to explain it to her. "You've been in a relationship with him for quite a long while, and you've already gifted him gifts before during Christmas, so why are you suddenly asking for help? I me—"

"That's because I heard from Erwin that he got something extremely, extremely amazing for me! And I… I don't want to… disappoint him…!" Hanji reasoned, with a small frown. Truth be told, Hanji had called Erwin not too long ago to ask what she should get for Levi. Unintentionally, the male had accidentally let it slip that Levi had gotten something major for her. Not to mention he said it was something so great, it'll bring her to tears. By the time Erwin realised he had accidentally let those 'secrets' slip, Hanji had ended the call before sitting out in the snow as she debated for a long while, about many things.

'What should I get for Levi?' Hanji pondered. It can't be anything less than what 'major' gift Levi had gotten for her, according to Erwin. It just can't. She wouldn't allow it. Not to mention, Christmas was Levi's birthday as well. So it had to be twice as special. Sure, she had given him gifts to Levi that she knew he truly liked, that he truly treasured. But the way Erwin had described Levi's gift… she now had the worry of what if it wasn't good enough?

It was a silly thing to worry, but still. Not to mention, Levi had recently been acting a little… weird.

But, no matter how long Hanji pondered in the snow, no gift came to her mind that'd be perfect for her boyfriend. At that realization, she groaned in misery before over-dramatically falling face-flat into the snow.

Then, that's when it came to her. By Ackerman logic, she'll just have to ask her. And that's how she ended up at Mikasa's.

It didn't take Mikasa long to notice the troubled look Hanji wore. She could understand how she felt, to a certain extent. "Hanji, I know that you may feel bad and worried, if Levi thinks your gift is terrible or if you think your gift is not good enough as compared to whatever that shorty is getting you. But—"

"Ah! So you understand me! So does that mean you'll help me get an amazing enough gift for h—"

"No." Mikasa answered bluntly, causing Hanji to pout before sipping her tea in a frustrated way. "Listen, Hanji. It's not that I don't want to help you. I don't mind helping you, it's just… ultimately, your gift for that shorty, your boyfriend, should come from your heart, your heart only." Mikasa explained, hoping she'd understand. "Besides… if you knew what I got for him, you would think twice about asking me." Mikasa sighed.

"Mikasa… I see…" Hanji murmured, in a soft way. Mikasa took it that she understood what she meant. But that wasn't exactly the case. "Well… now that you understand—"

"You, Mikasa Ackerman, just don't want to help me because you already got an amazing, major and spectacular gift for Levi!" She accused, sounding all grumpy. Mikasa stared at her blankly, blinked her eyes and then glanced at the drink she had given Hanji. It wasn't alcohol. Mikasa glanced again to double check and that herbal tea sure as hell wasn't alcohol, and yet, she was acting like a whiny child. Even Sachiko, her own daughter, was amused by her reaction.

"Hanji… that's not what I said and didn't you hear what I just said?"

"What did you get for Levi?" Hanji pouted, demanding an answer as well as ignoring her question.

"Hanji—"

"Tell meee!" She whined a little, and Mikasa couldn't help but bring her hand up to her face and just face-palmed herself. She couldn't believe she had to deal with… this.

"If Mama doesn't tell you, I'll tell you!" Sachiko exclaimed with a little smile. But even as she said this, she shyly turned towards her mother as if to seek permission. Mikasa shrugged in response, it wasn't as if it was a huge secret anyway. She was sure Levi would know about it anyway, what she had planned to give him.

"Mama got his favourite brand of detergent that just released its new model, its lemon scented by the way!" She grinned before continuing, "And I got him a mop! But not just any mop! The super absorbent and high quality one!"

At first, Hanji wasn't sure if she was pulling a prank on her. She looked to Mikasa, who gave a nod as if to confirm it. But even so, she remained in denial. "… You're kidding. What about Ere—"

"Oh? Papa? He's out shopping with Uncle Armin for gifts now. I think he's getting him a broom or… something." Sachiko shrugged. Hanji responded with a blank look, before grabbing Sachiko's shoulders and rocked her back and forth—in a playful manner, of course.

"Ehhhh? Sachi, you must be joking! It's not even April fool's! Don't you know Christmas is also his birthday? Don't you want to get him something extra special? I mean… I can see why Mikasa wouldn't want to… but—"

"Eh? But Four eyes…—" Sachiko giggled a little as she called out to Hanji, who then paused in her rocking action. "It's Big sis Hanji..!" Hanji groaned, cutting her off with a sigh, as if she felt defeated… for whatever reason. Well, regardless of whatever defeat, she still had it in her to correct Sachiko.

"Big sis Hanji." Sachiko corrected, with a small smile. "I know it's his birthday too! And that mop is super extra special! It's very absorbent! I know Uncle Levi will just love it!"

Hanji looked up at her a little, with a small puzzled look. "How do you know he'll love it…?"

"Well, the mop is just perfect for his small and short height!" Sachiko started off, Mikasa resisted the urge to laugh at that. She taught her daughter well, she thought. Sachiko continued, "I know it's just a mop, but still… I think he'll like it. He's been complaining about his old mops. So when Mama took me out to shopping, seeing this mop reminded me of him. And then, right then and there, I just knew he'd love it!" Sachiko beamed, Mikasa resisted the urge to laugh again. To think mops could remind her of Levi, it was just humorous. At least to Mikasa.

"… What are you trying to say, Sachi?"

"It's the thought that counts. That's what makes a gift special, because it comes from the bottom of your heart! At least that's what Mama told me, I believe in it anyway." Sachiko smiled. Hanji looked towards Mikasa, who gave a small nod.

"I know how hard it is, to find a perfect gift for someone you love, Hanji." Mikasa spoke softly. "But just as Sachiko said, it's the thought that counts."

"And yet you thought of detergent?" Hanji snorted, Mikasa rolled her eyes a little. "It suits a clean-freak like him. I put a lot of thought in that gift, for that matter."

"Yeah, yeah… I really appreciate both of your advice but still…" Hanji murmured, trailing off. It was obvious she was unsatisfied by the answers and lectured by the end of the conversation. Mikasa placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder as she spoke, "Don't worry about what gift to give him. You already gave him the best gift he could ever receive, and I can assure you it's better than whatever he wrapped up this Christmas for you."

Hanji looked at her, puzzled by her words. "What do you mean I already gave him the best gift…?"

Mikasa chuckled light-heartedly, before smiling warmly. "Hanji, it's you."

After that conversation she had with Mikasa and Sachiko, she left to the nearest mall Mikasa told her was located at. Mikasa had persisted that she should stay a little longer, so did Sachiko, considering it was still snowing out—and who knows? The snow might get heavier.

But Hanji refused the offer. She felt the sudden spark ignite within her, to which pushed her to get out and get something special for Levi, from the bottom of her own heart. With that goal in mind, she gave a hug to little Sachiko, a wave to Mikasa before she had set out on her hunt.

Once she had reached the mall, she began to look around, hoping she'd find something for Levi, something that was from the bottom of her heart. As she continued to search, many random thoughts popped into her mind, as well as a few memories she shared with Levi.

Truly, she couldn't really ask for any gift better than the male, her boyfriend, who put up with all her bullshit, and still loved her dearly for many years. She felt her cheeks burning, her heart thumping as she recalled some heart-warming moments in their life. She then figured she wanted to get him something that'd just express just that.

"Something from the bottom of my heart…" Hanji murmured to herself. She paused in her steps and sighed. She had walked almost all over the mall, yet she found nothing that matched what she felt from the bottom of her heart. "There must be something…" Hanji grumbled, before she looked up and around… and saw something that caught her eye. It was on display, well, not for long. Instantly, she rushed over to it, pressing her face against the glass as she stared at it elatedly.

Her cheeks flustered red even more, as she exclaimed, "That's it!"

Christmas rolled by quickly, the celebration was to be held at Levi's this year. It was still early, so no one came yet… well, except for Hanji.

"Took you long enough. Tch." Levi clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes as he let the brunette in. "Give me a break, you're the one who told me to come earlier to help you set up decoration." Hanji pouted.

"If you didn't want to, you could've refused, shitty glasses." He scoffed. Hanji rolled her eyes, "And you could've refused dressing up as Santa last year, yet you didn't… I still have pictures." She teased lightly, a grin plastered on her lips before placing her bag on the couch.

"Shut up." He grumbled, his eyes darting to the ground. Hanji sat down on the couch quietly. There was this silence for quite a while. It was odd, considering for one thing, Hanji wasn't one to… well, keep quiet. At least not for a prolonged period of time. But whenever she did, it'd be because something was weighing on her mind… and it didn't seem like she was the only one who had something on her mind.

"I have something to tell you." The two suddenly said in sync, breaking the silence that had been lingering itself in the atmosphere.

"You… go first." Levi spoke, to which Hanji shook her head at. "No, you should. You seemed to have something weighing on your mind for… quite a while." Hanji insisted. For the most part, Hanji rather have Levi go first for one reason—just in case if he was breaking up with her, considering not only had he been acting weird recently but the way he said that he had something to tell her was… odd. Very odd. His tone was different, as if he were afraid of something. Hell, now even Hanji was afraid. Afraid of one too many things now, afraid if her gift would burn itself to ashes.

Levi, on the other hand, took a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly. Definitely, something was on his mind. Hanji couldn't tell if she wanted to find out or not, she never felt so tensed before. Not wanting to delay what he had to say any further, Levi opened his eyes, which fixated itself to Hanji's brown orbs.

Hanji suddenly felt her muscles relaxed, surely… with such a soft look in his eyes that were now gazing at hers… this… wasn't a breakup… right?

Before she could think any further, Levi got on one knee, took out a small box, before he opened it, revealing a beautiful ring.

"Hanji Zoe, I love you. Will you marry me?"

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kyufiber-moved · 4 years

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got any bl show suggestions?

abso-fucking-lutely i do !! i typed out this WHOLE thing then my computer crashed so this is my second time answering this ripskfjd

also i went in depth about everything so it got long, and imma put a keep reading!! here are some bl show recs:

love by chance ::

summary: pete is a popular and wealthy student who is very shy, which is caused by the fact that he is secretly gay. he meets ae, a fellow student and they quickly become friends. pete starts to have feelings for ae, but doesn’t want him to experience ridicule for being with a man, so he attempts to repress his feelings

my thoughts: this show is amazing tbh. one of my alltime favorite dramas ever ngl. it has 5 couples that are shown on screen (with small cameos from / mentions of tharntype), all of which are cute (except klano. we dont talk abt klano.)

ending: mixed, depending on the couple. the main couple (aepete) has a happy ending, but three of the side couples have open endings, one of which is super angsty

sequel(s): there’s a second season coming out in february, in which the side couple that got the angsty ending (tincan) will be the main couple!!

where to watch: youtube

history 2: border crossing ::

summary: yuhao is rebellious and has a short temper. when he is approached by the captain and manager of the school’s volleyball team, he isn’t interested, but eventually ends up joining. he then develops a very close bond with the team manager, zixuan, which turns into something more than friendship

my thoughts: very very cute !!!!! i loved it so much omf. also the side couple is step brothers and although they don’t get much screen time, they’re still cute. also the kisses b/w yuhao and zixuan (despite 1 of the only 2 being in a dream) are F A N T A S T I C

ending: happy!!

sequel(s): there’s a 2nd season coming out sometime in 2020, but idk when. also it’s apart of a series called HIStory which has several different storylines, all of which being bl. they are not related to each other in terms of characters or anything, though, so don’t expect to see familiar characters ^^

where to watch: youtube

sotus: the series ::

summary: kongpob is a 1st year engineering student who stands up against head hazer and 3rd year arthit, who the first years feel is cruel / overly strict. the two start out as enemies, become friends, and eventually develop feelings for each other

my thoughts: no sexual stuff like many other bls, instead focuses on the romance part of it, the evolving relationship/friendship between kongarthit, the internal struggle of figuring out one’s sexuality, and the bond formed between students/friends/classmates. honestly?? storyline is gotdamn beautiful and i cried more than once just bc i was so overcome

ending: happy :)) (for all seasons and special eps)

sequel(s): there is a 2nd season titled sotus s: the series which takes place 2-3 years after the 1st season, where kongpob has become head hazer and arthit is now out of college and in the working world. kongarthit is also featured in the multi-bl special sequel titled “our skyy” which has special episodes set after the main official dramas surrounding various bl couples !

where to watch: it’s on netflix yeehaw ! but if you don’t have netflix it’s on youtube

together with me ::

summary: korn and knock are childhood best friends who meet again in college and, after a drunken night out, end up having sex. knock, who has a girlfriend, makes korn promise never to tell anyone about it and pretend like it never happened but you can’t hide falling in love forever :))

my thoughts: god SO much angst. it isnt an ep of twm if there isn’t angst smh my heart hurts watching it. BUT . it also has cute moments, funny af moments, and some SEXY AF moments . the sex / kiss scenes are unmatched bro . holy shit . watch the uncut versions too theyre even hotter i cant breathe 🥵

ending: happy

sequel(s): there are two “sequels”, one: together with me: the next chapter (which apparently wasn’t as good as s1 but i havent seen it) and then two: bad romance which features kornknock but the main couple is boyxgirl (and it aired first, but it’s set chronologically AFTER twm)

where to watch: youtube

theory of love ::

summary: third is secretly in love with his best friend, a straight playboy/manwhore named khai. he tries to stop his feelings, but is unsuccessful until he overhears something he wasn’t meant to. third, heartbroken, decides once and for all to stop loving khai- but just when third stops, khai starts.

my thoughts: anGST goddammit bl dramas love their angst huh. anyways i love the general plot of this and also like ? how aware the creators are of the plot sorta bc the movie flipped is a large af part of the show . also the kiss that ive seen ?? whew YES bro . also like before we get the happy ending there’s SOOOO much angst, even after they both know that they like each other ksjdf i haven’t finished it bc im mentally preparing myself

ending: happy

sequel(s): n/a, but if you want another drama where these actors are together, puppy honey has the same actors as a the couple pick and rome (idk if they have a happy ending though?? i havent seen it)

where to watch: youtube

great men academy ::

summary: love is a girl who is a huge fan of vier, a boy who attends great men academy (an all-boys school). one day she helps an injured unicorn by a lake (dont ask BRO DONT ASK) who then grants her one wish: to fulfill her love. unfortunately, the unicorn interprets love’s wish differently than expected, and turns her into a boy. love decides to attend great men academy in her male form, but she must remember to return to the lake and submerge herself every night before midnight to turn into her female form again, or she’ll be stuck in her male form forever

my thoughts: this drama........ whoever thought of this plot was on crack or smth. s’cute though. all the male characters are members of 9x9 (including captain, who plays noh in lovesick) also the main lead ends up with the person everyone acTUALLY wanted him/her to end up with so . YAY FOR US. still a WEIRD ass plot though

ending: happy

sequel(s): n/a

where to watch: kissasian

honorable mentions::

bolded : watched/watchingitalics : unwatchedstarred *** : hasn’t aired yet

- until we meet again (only an honorable mention and not an actual rec bc i haven’t seen it yet so i don’t know as much about it, BUT i know it’s good)

- kiss me again (the prequel to kiss: the series and also good but not PRIMARILY bl, focuses on three het couples/storylines and then the one bl storyline, but petekao is still otp asf)

- 2moons / 2moons2 (2m2 is a remake with a little better acting, a different cast, and more focus on the side couples than 2m. it is NOT* a sequel)

- make it right: the series (a bit old and kiiiinda shitty but one of the classics. also the second season is a little better imo bc the characters look more mature and the cinematography is better but ! s1 is a classic. also very . VERY sexual pls god do not watch it without headphonessjfkds)

- love sick: the series / reminders (love sick: basically the first mainstream bl uhhh ever. not particularly good / bold compared to more recent ones but it paved the way for current bls so we Respect love sick. ALSO reminders: is a modern sequel type thing set after love sick 2 when phun and noh are in university. also :: features almost all the main couples/actors from love by chance but has no relation/isn’t the same universe)

- the stranded ( i haven’t seen this but i know it has some gr8 bxb relationship shit ! but it’s not the main focus of the show i believe)

- 2gether: the series *** (hasn’t aired yet, but looks juicy af)

- my engineer *** (also hasn’t aired yet but again . i am inTRIGUED)

#asks #anonymous #drama recs #bl drama recs #recs #there's more but i dont want my computer to crash again and lose everythingskdfjds #plus like #you'll be preoccupied watching those before u need / want more recs haha !

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the-potter-analyst · 4 years

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Chapter 1 - The Worst Birthday

I'm going to do something a little different with my analyses and read the chapter before watching the podcast episode (before I could get away with listening to multiple eps at a time before reading a chapter since I'd more recently read book 1, but it's been a lot longer for the others). This way I'll get a chance to more clearly form my own thoughts about the chapter and the word of the day without any influence from the podcast.

Harry Potter and the Sacred Text word of the day: Disappointment

I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I'm not there

What a sad introduction to the book lol. Although have any of the books started out happy? The chapter begins with an argument between Vernon and Harry about Hedwig: Vernon wants Hedwig to be more quiet because she’s waking him up in the wee hours of the morning, so Harry responds that letting her out of her cage would fix that. In normal circumstances this would’ve been easily solved, but this is the Dursleys, and they can’t allow Harry to feel any sort of happiness. Hedwig being out of her cage means that Harry can contact his friends and we can’t have that smh. And Harry hasn’t heard from anyone the entire summer. Harry talks about how he’s never felt so lonely even though this was his everyday life before Hogwarts. The difference is that now he’s experienced love and happiness and a place to call home, which makes his isolation feel even more terrible. He thought he made the best of friends, yet they haven’t said a word to him in well over a month when they knew he hated living with his relatives. This is why it’s his worst birthday, because everyone he thought would wish him a happy birthday or send gifts haven’t done so, and this is also why the Dursleys ignoring the date is disappointing too (when they’ve never properly celebrated it in the first place). It’s like icing on the cake if Harry had one.

Yet again, we see how hopeful a person Harry is despite being in such a negative environment. He says “his hopes hadn’t been high” but in the end he still hoped that the Dursleys would remember his birthday. In the end, Harry was disappointed yet again, but I find it so important that even though the odds were very low, he still has the capacity to have faith in something or someone.

Looking back on my analysis of the Letters from No One, I had talked about the Hogwarts letters bringing Harry out of his loneliness and fulfilling this promise and hope that Harry wouldn’t be going to school with Dudley (although in a way he never imagined). Here’s part of what I said: “They kinda bring him out of his loneliness, making him realize that there’s someone, something, out there that wants to reach him when no one else up until this point has. And they’ll keep trying no matter what it takes.” Harry himself notes in this chapter that it’s been exactly a year since he received his letter, and I think that adds to the disappointment and sadness he feels. He’s expecting letters from people he’s connected with, expecting them to want to contact him, and it hasn’t happened.

The hosts of the podcast had talked about being disappointed in oneself for hoping in the first place, which was something I hadn’t though of. Here, Harry wants to assume the best in others, but then berates himself for believing in the first place. Like, of course the Dursleys won’t remember my birthday. Or, if my friends haven’t sent me a letter all summer, I guess we weren’t actually friends. And I also think it’s tied to his self worth, because Harry hasn’t had much time in his life to built it up. For almost the first eleven years of his life he’s been told that he’s worth nothing (see: I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I'm not there). So it makes sense that once he’s back with the Dursleys, in an abusive environment, cut off from the rest of the magical world, that Harry would assume he didn’t make any real friends and that maybe all the stuff about being a wizard didn’t actually happen. And also why Harry didn’t try harder contacting Ron and Hermione, the latter especially since he could probably find her contact information in a phonebook or directory or whatever the UK had at the time. This is the kid who is resourceful af, I can see him finding another way if he was in the right state of mind.

Special shout out to Harry and to anyone who feels truly lonely and isolated: I know it’s painful right now, these moments are only temporary. Don’t beat yourself over not being good enough. If you would tell someone else that they deserve better, then you do too. Please have faith that things will get better, because they will. So I hope that you will tell yourself that you’re worthy, of friends, of a loving home, of a job you want, or whatever else. I hope that you find all those things and more. And I hope that your pain or sadness or exhaustion eases soon.

Previous: Book 1, Chapter 17 - The Man With Two Faces

Next: Chapter 2 - Dobby’s Warning

#hp #hp meta #hp analysis #chamber of secrets #cos meta #harry potter #dudley dursley #vernon dursley #petunia dursley #hedwig

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literallynothingbutvictuuri · 5 years

Photo

Hello, loves! So, I recently saw another masterlist post like this and as I’ve written a fair number of victuuri fics, I thought it could be fun to make one as well!!

I’ve written 27 Victor/Yuuri fics (no other ships involved) and all of them (except for one) are complete! This list compiles all of them neatly together and I can give some author insight into my own personal favorites versus which ones are my most popular, etcetera.

The list will be compiled in alphabetical order! All relevant tags, ratings, author’s notes, and short(er) summaries will be shown in an organized manner.

If interested, click the read below! Much love to you all and I hope you’ll like one of them, maybe!!! ❤️❤️

KEY: ** = author’s favorite bolded = top 3 kudos’d IMG = embedded images in fic

Abstract Intuition ~ Teen/3.2k words ~ Introspection, Japanese Myths, Dreams vs. Reality ~ a/n: weird! loved writing it though ~ in which Yuuri understands more about himself than he thinks he does and believes in a Japanese supernatural being

Aegri somniavana ~ Teen/2.3k words ~ Major Character Death, Heavy Angst, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Depression, Panic Attacks ~ a/n: sad! sad sad sad! if you don’t want to be sad, do not read this! ~ “The love of a half-dead heart will keep you half alive”

a blessing in disguise ~ Teen/WIP~ AUs: Fantasy & Royalty, Witch Curses, Fairy Tale Elements, Mutual Pining, Magic & Wizards, Light Angst, Fluff & Humor, Child Victor (at times) ~ a/n: one of my favorites concept-wise, will update one day! ~ Victor gets cursed. Yuuri does not. Yuuri most definitely feels like he is though.

can’t buy love, but you can try if you’re a ridiculous man like Victor Nikiforov ~ General/495 words ~ SAPPY, old victuuri ~ a/n: domestic victuuri makes me so soft :’’) ~ Victor loves spoiling his grandchildren.

Chair AU (series with 2 fics) ~ General/505 words ~ why ~ a/n: yes it’s that fic the terrible and infamous chair au, yes i wrote that, yes i am aware of its contents, yes it is ridiculous ~ yuuri is a chair

ethereal ~ General/877 words ~ Introspection, Canon Compliant ~ a/n: romantic drabble ~ realizations

even Time ~ Mature/18k words ~ Time Travel Fix-It With A Twist!, AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Poisoning, Depression, Complicated Relationships, Non-Linear Narrative ~ a/n: this was my 2nd yoi fic! there are two ways to read it (one chapter for each way). this is quite sad, but also… not ~ in which yuuri and victor get it wrong until time comes in and allows for them to get it right

finally ~ General/1.8k words ~ Mutual Pining, High School AU, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Oblivious Katsuki Yuuri, Fluff ~ a/n: ngl i wrote this so quickly and did not expect people to like it as much as they did ~ in which everyone got the memo that Yuuri and Victor are “totally dating” except for Yuuri

going places ~ Teen/1.2k words ~ Pre-Canon, AU- Canon Divergence, Self-Reflection, Adolescent Sexuality ~ a/n: my first fic!!!!!!!! i wrote this right after ep 3 was released, this was basically my take on how victor and yuuri knew each other before the reveal in ep 10 :3 ~ viktor remembers and yuuri helps

hearts beat ~ Teen/1.4k words ~ Introspection, Angst, Canon Compliant, Insecurity, set after the beginning of episode 12 ~ a/n: i wrote this for a friend actually :3 this isn’t as sad as people seem to think? like? it’s better afterward as seen in the show? people acting like i broke them up smh ~ Yuuri doesn’t see what Victor sees in him.

in sickness & in health ~ General/511 words ~ Sappy, Sickfic, Domestic ~ a/n: cute drabble :( ~ Yuuri takes care of his whiny and sick husband.

in sync ~ Teen/442 words ~ Introspection, Falling in Love ~ a/n: soft :( ~ heartbeat

inevitable ~ Teen/972 words ~ True Love, Domestic, Insecurity, Sappy Fluff ~ a/n: this is probably my favorite work for domestic victuuri ~ Victor had a bad day and comes home and snaps at Yuuri. Cue little fight and makeup. :)

love (leaf) pile ~ General/354 words ~ Fluff, Victor is Extra ~ a/n: this one was so fun to write! ~ Yuuri shows Victor the glory that is jumping in leaf piles!!

love letters are too cliché ~ Teen/7.2k words ~ Pen Pals, Fluff, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Coming Out, College AU (sort of), Letters ~ a/n: this was definitely one that took a lot of me to write for some reason but i’m proud of how it ended up uwu ~ Viktor and Yuuri are pen pals. They both get more out of it than they originally thought.

moonstruck ~ General/712 words ~ Canon Compliant, True Love, Gentle Kissing ~ a/n: i think this was my first ever drabble? i was so soft when writing it ~ moon·struck (adjective): unable to think or act normally, especially because of being in love.

Much To Do About Everything ~ Teen/24.8k words ~ Enemies to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Misunderstandings, Humor, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Fluff and Angst, Rivalry ~ a/n: this work is more dialogue heavy than my others and it was very fun to write that dialogue :) ~ Victor and Yuuri won’t stop complaining about each other. Phichit and Chris, being the wonderful best friends that they are, just want them to shut the hell up. Starfleet Academy/Star Trek/Much Ado About Nothing AU

**Pigeon Alley ~ IMG ~ Teen/35.5k words ~ Famous Actors Victuuri, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Insecurity, Implied/Referenced Alcoholism/Alcohol Abuse, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Non-Linear Narrative, Friends to Lovers to Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Media Attention ~ a/n: one of my personal favorites, writing this fic helped me in more ways than one ~ What’s meant to be will always find a way. Victor and Yuuri? They’re meant to be.

the rain before the rainbow ~ IMG ~ Teen/7.6k words ~ ANXIETY, Anxiety Attacks, Insecurity, Introspection, Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Lack of Communication, Sick Makkachin ~ a/n: one of my more emotionally taxing fics honestly but working with Bee was so fun ~ Yuuri is anxious about marrying Victor.

recovery & the sun ~ Teen/1.2k words ~ Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Character Study, Recovery, Drabble ~ a/n: one of my my darkest fics (if not the darkest) and also one where i wrote it just to project some of my own feelings ~ Yuuri understood in a way that Victor had never expected, had never even hoped.

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy ~ Explicit/1.7k words ~ Anal Sex, Porn with Feelings, basically Yuuri rides Victor while Victor wears a cowboy hat, kind of a crack fic? ~ a/n: fjfjfjfjfjfjjfjfjjfj why ~ When Victor receives a cowboy hat from a fan, Yuuri may or may not want to devastate him.

strength ~ Teen/1.1k words ~ Gender Dysphoria, Trans Katsuki Yuuri, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Established Relationship ~ a/n: so this fic haunts me bc i think i misinterpreted the prompt wrong (didn’t see the “him” at the end there) and a big part of me wishes i wrote yuuri as a trans GUY and i feel bad whenever i think about this fic but some people liked it and yeah ~ Yuuri feels dysphoric and Victor comforts her.

sunflower ~ Teen/1.2k words ~ Slight Angst, Introspection, Femininity, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Fluff, Sappy ~ a/n: one of my fave drabbles! uwu~ Yuuri realizes it’s okay to like wearing dresses.

touch ~ General/439 words ~ True Love, Anxiety ~ a/n: this is also another one of my fave drabbles ~ Viktor and Yuuri express their love through touch.

**The Universe’s Secrets ~ IMG ~ General/5.3k words ~ Pre-Relationship, Mutual Pining, Sappy, Introspection, Canon Compliant, Tension, Relationship Study, Developing Relationship ~ a/n: another fic that took a lot of me but i’m proud of writing and ALSO another fic where i very much enjoyed working with jercy~ 3 times Victor smiles at Yuuri + 3 times Yuuri smiles at Victor.

The World Opened With You ~ IMG ~ Teen/10.6k words ~ Famous Victuuri, Violinist Victor, Pianist Yuuri, Musician AU, Depression, Family Issues, Sappy, Introspection ~ a/n: this fic really popped off huh !! i honestly never expected it to and it meant a lot that it did and thank you STILL nikai for making gorgeous artwork, i really loved working with him too :( ~ Victor and Yuuri are paired up to play a duet together. More things come from it than expected.

#mine #victuuri #viktuuri #yoi #yuri on ice #fic rec #honest to god i started making this months ago like i saw that masterlist recently months ago but have just now finished it and yeet #i was gonna finish it when i had completed all my fics but idk when i'll finish a blessing in disguise so

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melikeylikeyjimin · 6 years

Text

Mental || Eleven

(I do not own this gif)

Word Count: 2.4k Words

Genre: Psychiatric Patient! Hoseok x Doctor! Reader, Fluff, Angst, Smut(?)

a/n: We finally figure out what is wrong with Hoseok! And as a side note, I spent five minutes staring at the word closet because it looked wrong and I thought it wasn’t a word for that small while smh.

Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

As I sat in my room at the end of the day, I thought about the diagnosis that I came up with for Hoseok. I had to be right, and if I was, I couldn’t cure him. If he truly had what I believed he had, then all I can do was help, but not cure. I opened my laptop one more time so I can reread some more on the topic. I typed in the diagnosis and up came the page.

I read the intro to the page again, ‘DID, also known as multiple personality disorder, is a condition where a person’s identity is split into more than two distinct personalities. This condition is rare, but most people with DID are often victims of severe abuse.’ As I read over the article, I took notes based on the experiences I had with Hoseok. I wouldn’t have guessed he had multiple personalities until what happened with the security guards. And even after that, the whole experiment I pulled on him was the final clue for me.

As far as I knew, Hoseok had three distinct personalities that I could make out. What scared me though was the possibility that there were more than the three I already knew existed. There was the obsessive and psychotic side of Hoseok that had killed the security guards and threatened to hurt me. There was also the seemingly normal side that talked to me as if we were close-- even if he was also the one that flirted the most-- and had been the one to start any of the advances. This personality must of just been the normal Hoseok, the original him. Finally, there was the most recent one that I had found that I wasn’t originally aware of until today. The child-like personality that Hoseok seemed to have held. This one confused me slightly, but I figured the main cause for him having this side was due to his childhood not being satisfactory or it was taken away from him. This side must of been created to replace what was taken or lost.

I needed to think of a new way to approach Hoseok. It would be helpful if I knew Hoseok’s past so I could look into his condition on a more personal level, but that wasn’t easy. I was sure if I asked questions about his past it would cause him too much stress. Not to mention, the fact that this might cause for a possible different personality to show itself if he did have more personalities than I thought he did. I sighed because for once I wasn’t one hundred percent sure how to help.

DID was such a rare condition that didn't really pop up often. I was used to the usual depression, anxiety, and violent tendencies that I wasn’t really sure what to make of Hoseok. Knowing what he had didn't change how I viewed him or anything, but it would change how I decided to further approach him. He must have been aware of the other personalities he had, right? I decided maybe I could try talking to him about what I found and see if he would open up at all about it. As I laid there thinking about it more, I felt myself grow more and more tired before I eventually passed out.

When I woke up the next morning it was early. My alarm had yet to go off, the sun was barely rising over the horizon and I looked to see my phone beside me. It was still alive but the battery was mostly drained. I groaned as I moved to put it on the charger, once it was on the charger I looked around. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to sleep for another hour and a half or if I should just have an early morning. I decided I should just get up early for once and take my time getting ready instead of rushing around. I peeled myself off of the bed and headed for the bathroom. I turned the shower on and waited until the water heated up.

Once I stuck my hand in and felt the correct temperature, I got undressed letting the clothes of yesterday slip from my body and onto the floor. I stepped into the shower and let the warm water hit my face as I tried to erase the tiredness I felt all throughout my body. After I finished washing up, I pulled the towel around my body and walked to the closet to search for today’s clothes. I decided a white button up and a pair of nice looking pants was good enough. Once I was dressed, I began towel drying my hair because I was simply too lazy to blowdry it. I brushed through the knots that had formed in my hair and looked at the clock to see if it was anywhere close to the time for me to leave. I still had half an hour until I had to go check in. I could go get breakfast, but I oddly didn’t feel hungry. I sighed and decided to just go in early since it didn’t really matter.

I gathered my phone and slipped it into the doctor’s coat I always had to wear. I locked the door behind me and took the elevator down to the where the check in station was. There were people bustling around, usually the people who had been assigned an early shift or worked overnight. I clocked into the machine and decided I’d go check on Jungkook first so Yoongi could sleep a little longer. I took the elevator back up to Jungkook’s floor and knocked on his door.

Of course, I didn’t get an answer. Jungkook was a very hard person to wake up when he was asleep. He slept like a log. I opened the door as quietly as I could, even if it wasn’t likely that he would wake up anyways. I closed the door behind me and turned the light on to see a sleeping Jungkook. I sat on his bed in the space I could find due to him being in a starfish position. I gently shook his shoulder as I tried to wake him. He stirred slightly but was nowhere close to awake. “Jungkook,” I called his name. Somehow him hearing my voice calling his name woke him up.

His eyes slowly opened as his body began to stretch. “What time is it?” He asked in a raspy voice. “It’s a little early, but I figured I could spend my time here before I have to actually start working.” He nodded while rubbing at his face. He started smiling about something as soon as he looked at me. “What is it? Why are you smiling?” I asked confused. He shook his head, “Nothing, just had a nice thought.” I nodded before moving to rest my back against the wall that his bed was against. “Are you excited to hang out again this Tuesday?” I asked randomly. Jungkook grinned, “Very, I like spending time with you outside the hospital. Makes me feel more normal.” I smiled because I felt the same way. I liked spending time with Jungkook in the hospital and outside of it. We were the same age, had some similarities, and it was nice to talk to him outside of this room.

Jungkook stared at me for a bit longer but it wasn’t uncomfortable for me at all. He suddenly brought me into a side hug. I flinched slightly before relaxing slightly, “Why are you hugging me?” “I just felt like it,” he replied with a cheeky grin adorning his face. I rolled my eyes, “Jeon, what have I told you about our relationship as a doctor and a patient?” This time he rolled his eyes at my statement, “It’s not like a hug is going to get you fired. Say it’s apart of emotional treatment.” I sighed but smile anyways. Jungkook was definitely something else.

I looked down at my watch to see if I was going to be late anytime soon. I still had another ten minutes before I had to go see Yoongi. That would only leave me with about five more minutes with Jungkook before I had to start heading there. Jungkook noticed how I stared at my watch. “Do you have to go?” He asked with a sad expression. It made my heart ache at his face, but I had to resist. “In about five minutes.” He hummed in acknowledgement. I suddenly realized that Jungkook had yet to have let go of me. I wondered if he realized that he was still holding me close or not. Should I ask him to stop or should I just move when I leave? I didn’t want to make him feel bad as if I was rejecting any of his friendly affection but I was also worried about the rules. I decided I’d let him get away with it because of how calm and relaxed he looked with me there. He closed his eyes again as if he was just taking a stroll in his mind.

Those five minutes eventually passed before I had to leave to go see Yoongi. “I gotta go Jungkook.” I felt his fingers slightly tighten around my arm before he let go with a small smile. I gave back the same smile before telling him I’d be back for our normal session. I left his room and walked my way back to the elevator and as I rode it to Yoongi’s floor, I thought about Jungkook’s actions. If I didn’t know any better I would guess that Jungkook had developed a crush on me. Perhaps I was being too presumptuous, but it seemed right. Not that I minded if he had feelings for me or not, but I didn’t know if I thought of Jungkook as more than anything but a close friend. I banished the thoughts to the back of my mind as I ended up in front of Yoongi’s door.

I pushed it open and saw Yoongi with his ipod in hand listening to the music. I smiled as he gave a small smile back to me. I closed the door behind me before sitting on the bed next to him. “How are you feeling?” “Okay.” “I see you seem to really be enjoying yourself.” Yoongi nodded, “I found this pretty good new song, w-would you like to hear it?” He looked slightly nervous asking but there was no way I would refuse. I nodded and took the earbud he had offered and put it in my ear and waited for him to play the song. The soft melody caressed my ears and I could see why Yoongi would like this so much. It was so soothing and made you feel at peace. Once it ended, I handed him back his earbud. “I really liked that song.” He smiled a bit bigger at my words. “I’m glad you liked it,” he barely whispered out. We talked about music for awhile longer before I had to leave to check on Hoseok. I felt my anxiety slowly build up at the thought but Hoseok is still Hoseok. I leave Yoongi and find myself outside of Hoseok’s door.

As I walk in I don’t find anything out of the ordinary. I wasn’t sure how to approach him now but I was going to give it my best shot. “Hi Hoseok.” His head moved to look at me, “Hi, Y/N!” I immediately had a guess towards who was present at the moment and was almost sure that that it was the child-like Hoseok that was present right now. I sat down on the bed next to him as he smiled up at me happily. “How have you been?” I asked as a starter question. “I feel good, it gets boring in here sometimes, but it’s okay.” I nodded my head in understanding. “Can I tell you something?” He asked suddenly. I nodded my head without thinking. “You look very pretty today.” I felt my cheeks heat up at the compliment. “Thank you.” He beamed his bright smile at me and I made note of the dimples on his face that were endearing.

“Do you think I can ask you a question? You can always tell me if you don’t want to answer it, but I’d like to know.” He nodded his head. “Well, I’m not sure if you remember when I came in here yesterday or not-” Hoseok cut me off, “I remember you coming in and we talked for a bit but I can’t quite remember what happened after that.” I took in the information silently. “Anyways, I came to the realization that you have multiple personalities…” Hoseok’s smile didn’t falter, “That’s true. Even as we talk right now I can hear them.” I swallowed at how unbothered he was by my question. “Do you get along with those voices..?” I asked carefully.

Hoseok had a slight pout on his face while he thought about it. “I do hate one of them. Everything he says is always scary. He talks about all these different violent things he wants to do. I don’t like it at all.” I understood where he was coming from. He was hearing from the obsessive and psychotic side of Hoseok. It was natural that these two opposite personalities would despise the other based on their views. “C-can I ask how many of you there are?” I pushed a little more. “I don’t want to talk about the others,” he pouted, “can’t you just focus on me?” I decided that was enough for now as I didn’t want to push him more than I should. “Alright, I won’t ask about the others anymore.” He smiled again before slowly moving closer to me. His ears were red as he hugged me softly. I wasn’t sure how to react to his touch right now. Regardless of his personality, his touch made me feel the same way. He pulled away quickly before I could even think of anyway to respond.

“I’m tired so I’m going to take a nap.” I smiled, “Okay, I’ll leave then so you can rest.” He grabbed my hand, “Can you stay until I fall asleep?” I slowly nodded and sat back down while he got comfortable. Once he did he smiled back up at me. He didn’t let go of my hand as I sat there. After about ten minutes he was passed out. I smiled at his relaxed sleeping face. This side was cute.

I slipped my hand out of his but before I could leave I was suddenly grabbed and pulled down, “I’ve got you now, princess.”

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bibliophilebookreviews · 4 years

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The Survivor’s Guide to Family Happiness

The Survivor’s Guide to Family Happiness by Maddie Dawson

I don’t remember how I came across this book. I listened to the audio book, but I think I’d recommend the physical book.

Here’s the spoiler-free premise: Nina Popkin is 35 years old and was adopted, a fact she’s known her whole life and has accepted. (In fact, about half the kids in her town are adopted.) Her adoptive mother, Josephine, has recently passed after battling cancer. However, before she died, Josephine admitted that she was surprised Nina never asked about her birth mother and reveals that she has a picture of Nina with her birth mother. Soon after, Nina, who stages homes for the real estate company where she works with her best friend, meets Carter Sandborn, a divorcee still living with his ex-wife (for the sake of the kids) now looking to finally move out. While they quickly begin a relationship, Nina starts her search for her birth mother. Though the Catholic Nun-run orphanage won’t tell her much, Nina learns that her mother was a teenager who gave her up for adoption at 15 months old, but Nina cannot be given any information about her parents. Later, the nun informs Nina she has a younger sister. They eventually meet and discover they actually already know each other, but Lindy is not even remotely interested in gaining another sibling, and is even less interested in finding their mother. Nonetheless, Nina persists and practically forces her way into Lindy’s life. When Nina is secretly allowed to view her birth certificate (and Lindy’s) she finds out her mother’s name -- no father listed though -- along with Lindy’s birth name and her own. Now Nina is determined to find her mother and find out “who she really is,” not subscribing to Lindy’s theory that their mother was a young, dumb, drug addict. All of this is on top of Nina’s own relationship troubles, being a divorcee herself and pseudo-stepmother to Carter’s kids.

This book started off a little slow, and I felt like some parts were a bit irrelevant. However, the story line picked up, and eventually, the even irrelevant bits made sense. And even though it dragged a little sometimes, I actually liked this book. One thing I enjoyed was that some chapters were written from other characters’ perspectives. (Although, Nina’s chapters are written in first person whereas the others’ are written from third person. But you still get a good sense of their thoughts and understand their actions.) I also thought it was interesting how differently Nina and Lindy responded to the notion of being adopted, and how differently their mothers approached the notion of them finding their birth mother. I honestly felt bad for Lindy, and I enjoyed seeing her evolve, if you will.

Nina seemed like one of those people you kind of tolerate. You like them, but they can be a bit much, even annoying at times. Most times. She’s very optimistic and tends to see the good side of things, which I appreciate, but I really wanted her to be less naive about a lot of stuff. I can see why she’s been through so many boyfriends and doesn’t tend to fare well in relationships. (Though the whole thing with her ex-husband was rough.) I liked Lindy a lot, although I thought she was a little hard on Nina. (But somebody had to be!) I related to her a lot and admired her as a working mom. I don’t know how she did all the things she did -- work, parenting, wife-ing, PTA, “Mothers of Twins” and the whole lot. Not to mention her insecurities about Jeff! Her relationship with her mom was hilarious to me -- not “haha” funny, of course, but definitely relatable. I felt her pain in all of their interactions!

Let’s talk about Carter and his family. Everyone knew Nina and Carter rushed into things except them. “Indigo” really got on my nerves in general, and while I understand why Nina was so drawn to her (and vice versa) it was really frustrating to see Carter being so patient with her. I found myself aligning with Tyler a lot (until the end smh) and would have really liked to see Indigo lean on him a bit more. He seemed like he was trying to be supportive, but he was too busy being “grown” to really develop a strong relationship with her. Jane was extremely frustrating. I couldn’t really get a sense of her feelings toward Nina. She was confusing all around; no wonder she and Carter didn’t work out. Even though I wasn’t exactly rooting for Carter and Nina, I didn’t think it was all on Carter for sure.

Phoebe. Gosh, there’s so much I could say about Phoebe, but I’m trying to keep this spoiler-free. I’ll just say that I don’t blame her, but I wish she’d open up a tiny bit more, considering.

If you’ve been keeping up with my reviews at all, you already know that I like epilogues. I like to know where the characters ended up, how everything worked out, what happened after the end. The epilogue definitely bumped this book up a few points for me, even though I wasn’t 100% happy with the way things turned out. Maybe 98%

Yes, I recommend this book, especially for an adult or parent book club. Again, it’d probably be better to actually read it, but the audio was good too, and, save for a few f-bombs, it’s fine for readers of all ages.

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yaboylevi · 7 years

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tagged by @sanspert <3333 (I'm kin kshaming you for your Santa Claus answer btw)

Rules: Answer these statements and tag 20 people

LAST:

Drink: fake instant coffee Phone Call: my brother Text message: my brother again...about shit in lakes lmao Song you listened to: one for the road - arctic monkeys Time you cried: uhhhhhhh idr

HAVE YOU:

Dated someone twice: unfortunately yes Kissed someone and regretted it: yes Been cheated on: don't know but probably not Lost someone special: lost as in dead no, lost as in I miss them and sometimes I still think about them, oh yes Been depressed: I still am lol Gotten drunk and thrown up: no, they call me "iron stomach" bc I don't throw up

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: pink, aquamarine and the colour of blood? idk

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

Made new friends: yes <3 Fallen out of love: no Laughed until you cried: no Found out someone was talking about you: hello antis @ twitter Met someone who changed you: yes Found out who your friends are: ehhh yes, and it was pretty shitty but at least now I'm chill about it Kissed someone from your Facebook list: no

GENERAL:

How many Facebook friends do you know irl: almost everyone bc I usually don't add ppl I don't know Do you have any pets: not exactly Do you want to change your name: no What did you do for your last Birthday: I hate my bday so I don't remember but probably I fought with my father, I remember I kept crying like a binch in that period SO What time did you wake up: 2pm, salting is exhausting What were you doing at midnight last night: salting Name something you can’t wait for: 10th of august When was the last time you saw your mom: march What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: not being firm enough on some of my past decisions also putting up with some people's bullshit behaviour towards me What are you listening to right now: 505 - arctic monkeys (OKAY BUT WHEN HE SINGS "when you look at me like that, my darling, what did you expect? i probably still adore you with your hands around my neck...or I did last time I checked" MAN I SCREAM EVERY TIME) Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes Something that is getting on your nerves: chapter 95 Most visited website: twitter

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME:

Mole/s: a lot. and every now and then a new one appears on my skin and WOW I love cute little moles Mark/s: as in? stretch marks? yes. scars? yes. Childhood dream: I wanted to sell ice creams so I could eat them whenever I craved them Hair color: brown Long or short hair: short! Do you have a crush on someone: yes What do you like about yourself: nothing Piercings: nope Blood type: 0 Nickname: vi Relationship status: single thank god Zodiac: pisces Pronouns: she/her Favorite TV Show: gotta say True Detective oh and btw hit me up with tv shows recs!! Tattoos: nope Right or left hand: right Surgery: too many to count Hair dyed in different color: yessss many times, now it's blondish? sort of? I'm a pudding anyway Sport: baseball & volleyball Vacation: I'm feeling the need to SWIM so, the sea! Pair of trainers: Adidas!

WHICH IS BETTER

Hugs or kisses: hugsss Lips or eyes: eyes Shorter or taller: don't care if its a girl, taller if its a man Older or younger: don't really care Nice arms or nice stomach: arms! Sensitive or loud: sensitive Hook up or relationship: neither Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker, I'm hesitant enough by myself

HAVE YOU EVER:

Kissed a Stranger: yes Drank hard liquor: yes Lost glasses/contact lenses: no Turned someone down: yes lmao Sex on the first date: no Broken someone’s heart: apparently I'm said to be a heartbreaker and so a binch that plays with people's hearts and laugh at their pain smh Had your heart broken: yes but I was a fukking baby so it doesn't count Been arrested: noooo omg Cried when someone died: yes Fallen for a friend: yes!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

Yourself: I'm starting to gain more confidence, yay! Miracles: mmm 50% Love at first sight: .........yes, with my current crush was like BAMMMM!!! it's the first time actually and I'm so confused help Santa Claus: what even Kiss on the first date: yes

OTHER:

Current best friend name: ehh Eye color: brown-green Favorite movie: obsessed with p&p recently oops

im tagging: @gpesiot @eren--gayger @softymir @apetitan @glassesgirl0401 @tatakaeeren @kimiokana and idk I'm really intimidated by a lot of mutuals i'd like to tag bc we never really interacted why am I like this!!!! also feel free to ignore this, just do it if you're comfortable with it <3

#tag game #vivitalks

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just-hazardous-thoughts · 7 years

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Current chapter: winter is not coming but shitstorm is on its way

What about this relationship train wrecking thing that is going on at work, huh? Well, it’s hard to unveil but I’ll try my best for my own sake. I’m always writing for myself anyway.

These past months, we’ve been hiring a lot at work. We have needs hence the new recruits to help us out. When I joined the company a year ago we were around 12, now we’re over 30. Growing fast, right? We’re also moving out next year (though I’m not sure I’ll be around for that).

Anyway, I befriend one of my female coworkers three months ago and we bonded fast. I can’t remember how fast or how it happened but it did. Before her, I don’t even remember how I was doing in there. Not that I had a hard time but it’s just different when you have someone you can open yourself to, you know?

Since her, a lot of guys have been hired and as anyone can guess, shit’s going weird. They’re around my age and we began to form a bit of a crew (the three new guys aka "the 2 Be 3", my female coworker and me). It’s working well, they’re cool and we match. There’s still a bit of awkwardness as it’s really recent (2 weeks at best) but it’s ongoing and it’s pleasant.

But as the cliché needs to be more than just a cliché, it became… weird?

I don’t even know how to explain things but I feel weird vibes about them and my 6th sense is screaming at me that something’s off. I always trust my guts though my rational mind tends to calm me down like "Geez, you’re overthinking it". Not sure I am.

So there’s A. The first one who’s been hired 2 months ago. He’s doing a 6 months internship with us.

There’s B, who joined us a month ago and who’s there for the 2 next years as a part-timer (same as me with the same rhythm between his school and work).

And last but not least, there’s C, who joined us last week in my department (so now we’re two, yay!). He’s there for a year (same as me) and also has the same rhythm as B and me (as a part-timer).

Anyway, here are the 2 Be 3 that became close very quickly. Then there’s my female coworker and me.

Now onto my thing.

Since the early beginning, I felt like B was kind of sending signals towards me like when he mentioned to my female coworker (FC) that she and I were awfully close. My FC and B are in good terms so they talk a lot and he’s saying a lot of things to her that she then proceeds to tell me back (silly people still don’t understand that she tells me everything (like THE guy still talks to her about stuff smh)). So he once mentioned that I had nice legs, this sort of things. Now said like that people might be like "Damn, it’s nothing, she’s clearly overthinking stuff" but there’s a lot more of these that I just can’t recall because my memory sucks. Anyway, if it’s not enough, at least trust my guts. They’re never wrong when it comes to guys and they never failed me once (but it could start, who knows?).

So about B, it’s weird. But let’s be clear, I wondered about the possibility and I just noped because I can’t see this happening. He’s not that attractive (to me) and he kind of repulses me when he eats his nails. Or maybe is it the fact that he farts aloud I’m not sure?

Then there’s A. Fucking A. Where do I begin?

When he arrived, he was sat on the desk next to me and I didn’t pay much attention. We were joking a lot with my FC (she was on the desk behind me at the time) and another coworker but three days later the desks were changed and reorganized due to our new recruits and where they were going to be fitted according to their department. So I was exiled on my own before B and C came on the desk in front of me (when we did that they weren’t hired yet).

I must say I was quite upset. I was being sent away from my FC and from the fun because I was going to be left alone on a deserted part with the tech (that don’t talk much). Though it’s completely wrong cause now I talk a lot with the tech and they’re just super duper cool. I just needed to get out there and talk with them. Silly me.

After that, nothing happened really. But after B and C joined, the crew came to life a bit and now I’m talking a lot with them. I feel like in high school once again when you hang out with a group. I guess I missed that. Of course, I see my friends outside of work and school but it’s not the same when you hang out this much with a group.

A week ago, there was our Team Building. We went to the Basque countries and it was awesome (much more compared to last year’s one). Trust me when I say this but nothing really happened, nothing. I just hanged out a lot with my FC and A. B missed both his trains, god knows how he managed to do that but the end result is that he couldn’t come, and C wasn’t scheduled to join us yet (#paperwork). We were just all really friendly, which is the sole purpose of a Team Building: tightening the links between us all.

So hear me well, last week, everything was still okay. Shit began to go downhill in the train bringing us back to Paris. Two nights before at one of the dinner, we were sitting next to each other (A and me) and I don’t remember how it came to that but we went on tinder and we both found each other. Of course, we matched for fun and the weirdness began. We pretended to be strangers talking for the first time and I must admit it was fun (though it may come out weird to some people). Back in Paris, I thought nothing much of it.

We ended up taking the train together to go back to our home if that matters.

Anyways, after that, we continued to play the pretend game on tinder. It was still okay but after a couple of days it just went from "lol it’s fun" to "wtf". We casually talked but on tinder. We did not switch to text messages even though we have each other numbers (because we gave them out on tinder) and I don’t know why or if it’s relevant to mention.

So since then, I learned a lot of things from my FC. It serves that she’s talented to hear things at work and to make her ways to info.

Basically, A and B are talking about me somehow? I’m kind of confused but from what I gathered B is open to "seducing" me but he’s letting A go his way because he’s more advanced on the path. Disgusting, right? I feel like a trophy or a goal. "Who’s gonna fuck her first?", right?

I also learned that A’s kind of thinking about an opening with me since a party from September, where I got trashed real bad so, what is that supposed to mean? I was wearing a sexy attire and I was out, like, OUT.

Also, it appears that at one of the Team Building’s party, I was kind of tired and drunk and I asked him to accompany me back to my room but then I switched to one of my coworker (who I’m friend with) and apparently, he was kind of upset because he had this plan to "catch me" on the way to my room. Red flag? I don’t know. I still don’t want to believe this shit. I hate myself right now because I’m so overthinking about A and I’m letting him take a toll on my life. I shouldn’t even be thinking about him.

I’m still trying to convince myself it’s all in my head but the lonely me doesn’t want that, she wants this to be true. The rational me is holding this thing and telling me to not hope for anything. What is there to hope anyway? He only wants to fuck me. Final point. That’s how I see it for several reasons.

One time we were talking about this girl he’s seeing and they fuck but she’s beginning to be attached. Being who I am I told him that it was better to let her go if he didn’t feel the same way. I then proceeded to ask him what was wrong with all these people who want to get labeled? This truly is what I think. I don’t like commitment and labels but I think he took it as a hint of being sex buddies, maybe because he, too, told me he just wanted to chill. I fucked up I guess.

Anyway, I can’t be your sex buddy because I’m a virgin. Yeah. I’m not seeking a meaningful relationship (though if I can have one it’d be cool). I don’t even know what I’m searching still. I just want to chill and spend time with a guy but not for sexual means. It’s complicated and I’m conscious it doesn’t make much sense. I’m not against it but as a virgin, it’s just complicated. And I don’t think a guy like him wants that so…

I’m already torturing myself with all this shit for nothing because nothing (good) will come out of that and the lonely me is already clinging to this shitstorm, while the rational me is screaming at the top of his lungs that this shit will get me down. I can feel it. I just know it. This smells bad.

This is fucked up. I didn’t ask for this. I never ask for it. It’s true. I never dearly searched. These past months I enrolled on tinder to pass time (truly) and that was me attempting something I guess but it never got far.

Shit’s always coming my way, I never pray for it to happen (well I do tend to hope for something to happen but not this way). Though I’m kind of happy something’s happening, I know it’ll end up badly and I’m already hurt to see this hurting me. It’ll leave scars for sure.

I ask for peace but I know peace is boring me out. At least it gives a little spice in my life but it also calls for suffering. Sigh.

Holy fuck.

I guess I like to suffer?

I’m pretty sure this post is written in terrible English but it’s all so mingled in my mind that there’s no way in hell that I can write this properly...

#diary #thoughts #work #coworkers #wtf #relationships #A #B #C

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