my friend told me that her boyfriend got her a super cool rock while they were on vacation together and you would not BELIEVE my disappointment when i realized she was talking about her engagement ring
being in a relationship with könig and ghost isn’t for the weak. where könig’s eyes hone in on where your shirt is starting to slip down amidst your animated talking, simon’s wordlessly pulling it up for you without missing a beat. where simon’s doting on you while you’re sick, making sure you’re proper medicated and hydrated, könig’s using the ‘sweat it out’ method, fucking into you and basking in how warm and tight you are around him.
or it’s flipped, when you say you need to unwind before bed and könig takes that to mean running you a bath and brushing your hair for you, whereas ghost’s laying down towels to spread your thighs and eat you out on the bed for hours. and sometimes they’re both feeling chivalrous, fighting over who gets to open the door for you, who gets to tie your shoelace when it slips undone, and you have to give them both your hand to help you over a small step.
most of the time they’re fighting over who gets inside you first, racking up tally marks over the days so it’s an even score.
What if there is a world where Jack and Janet swapped, and who got the coma, etc.?
I mostly thought of this cuz I had an amusing thought at work that goes something like this:
Ra's: "Your father must have been quite the man, Timothy. With just how perfectly you turned out. "
Tim: "No, I got it from my mother. And if you know what's best for you, stay away from her. "
---Time Skip---
Janet walks into Wayne Manor:
"Timothy, what have I told you about letting your stuff lie about in its improper place?"
Tim: "Not, too, Mother. I'm sorry for being so thoughtless."
Janet hands Tim a suspicious jar: "I'll be merciful this time; your surgery is booked for tomorrow, so make sure to get your affairs in order."
Janet turns to Damien and hands him a card.
"This is out of courtesy, child. Make sure not to repeat the mistake. Either of you." She eyes Jason and Damien.
"And Mr. Grayson, you're on thin ice, too, for the attempted hospitalization of my Timothy."
And with that, she walks back out.
Bruce hesitantly asks: "Tim... Why did Janet hand Damien a sorry for your loss card?"
Tim: "Well, since I now have my spleen in a jar, Bruce, I'm pretty sure Ra's is dead."
Part 2: