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ashcrimson-is-writing · 4 years

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Parce Mihi ~ Chapter 2

Fandom: Marvel (Pre-Marvelfilms)

Pairing: Loki x Sigyn

(Gif made by me)

Summary: It´s a tradition as old as Asgard itself: Once in a hundred years a young woman gets chosen to be a lady-in-waiting to the queen and live within her in the palace. This year Friggas choice falls on Sigyn, who volunteers to save her family. Soon enough she meets Loki, Prince of Asgard and even though he is a good actor, she slowly starts to see something different in him, than the cold and arrogant man he is to everyone else. But meanwhile, not seen by anyone, dark clouds are gathering over the mountains of Asgard and it is only a matter of time till the storm begins. (Angst, Fluff, Hurt)

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<<Chapter1

Chapter 2: Lyria held Sigyn in a tight embrace, the face buried on her neck.

Her younger sister didn´t sob, but Sigyn could feel her tears nonetheless and gently stroked over her back. Felt the protruding spine and ribs and tried not to start crying herself. The twins, Ari and Fin, also two of her siblings, stood next to the chair Sigyn sat on and huddled themselves close to her. She sighed. She would miss them, a lot, but they had no choice. Not if they wanted to survive.

Björn, Sigyns brother who was only two years younger than her and Kjell were standing at the door, the older one with Finnja on his arm. The little girl didn't really understand why there was such a depressed atmosphere in the air, but could clearly feel it, held on to her brother and was very quiet. It was almost as if she knew that nothing she could say would change the sad feelings of her siblings.

A look out of the window showed Sigyn that the first orange-red glimmer of the sun was already to be seen in the sky, so it could only be a matter of minutes before she would be picked up and brought to the palace. She turned her eyes to her older brother and the youngest sister, the former smiling encouragingly, the latter eyes full of discomfort and a little fear. Finnja had got hiccups, as it was always the case when she got too nervous and Sigyn smiled sadly.

Oh, how she'd miss her siblings. It already seemed to tear her heart apart and breathing became more difficult when she thought about it. She already had lost her parents and now she was to leave the rest of the family too. Of course she could still come and visit them sometimes, but only rarely, very rarely and that frightened her. All her life she had seen these girls and boys every day, had seen Finnja grow from a baby to a little girl and Kjell from a boy to the man he was now. Whenever they had needed comfort or warmth or company, they had been there for each other since there was only them and no mother or father. Especially to Kjell she had a bond like only a few siblings had with one another. They were the two eldest and therefore responsible for the others. They had gone together over all obstacles and he had always worked hard to be able to care for them as best as possible.

Even now he had still done so, although he had lost half of his right arm when he had been stuck between the gears of the forge a few years ago, at which he used to work. Sigyn could all too well still remember this time when her brother had been confined to the bed for days, weeks, because of the exhaustion and pain. She remembered how he had fever dreams and sweats for hours because of the infection that had formed in the rest of his arm and how she had not left his bed, fearing he could die.

A loud knocking at the door scared Sigyn out of her thoughts, catapulted her back into the present. Her heart started racing again.

The twins let go of her and she pushed Lyria gently away, who was after all sobbing now, and she could see tears in the boys eyes as well. She stroked both of them vigorously through the blond hair and then knelt down to the three of them. Morning air streamed from the door that Björn had opened and Sigyn heard the dark voice of one of the guards, but concentrated on her family: "You know that I love you very much". A nod came from all of them and Sigyn nodded too: "I want you to know that I will always love you, I can't tell you when we will meet again, but I promise that your lives will be better and I will think of you every day. . . You will think of me too, right?” she asked, just wanting confirmation that she would not be forgotten, even though she knew it wouldn´t happen.

"Of course": Fin said and Ari put his hand on Sigyns shoulder: "We swear that on Odin". Lyria nodded in agreement, her breath way too fast and a new tear came out of the corner of her eye. Swallowing heavily, Sigyn took the three of them in her arms again, kissed each one on the forehead and then got up, went over to the other three.

Björn looked at her gloomily and she took his hands in hers: "Take good care of yourself and next time I'm here again, invite the girl you like so much"; His cheeks became red and he lowered his eyes a little. “And make sure that, as soon as you receive the money, Kjell goes to a healer because of his arm. You know he would never do that on his own and the wound has never healed properly,"; she whispered to him, being careful that Kjell didn't hear anything and then turned to her older brother who was still holding Finnja.

The girl stretched out her little fingers to Sigyn, who took her in her arms, inhaled deeply the childlike smell of her sister and smiled. Finnjas eyes had grown wide: "Are you going to the palace now?" she asked and Sigyn nodded: "Yes". "Will you come back?" “Sometime yes, sure”: the brown-haired woman answered and felt the slight jolt that went through Finnja when the next hiccup came: "Will you see Thor there?" Again Sigyn nodded: "Surely" and the younger one stroked a strand of hair from her own face, before she beamed with enthusiasm: "Can you tell him to take care of you when Kjell is not around?”

Sigyn wasn't sure if she still was able to get whole words out of her trembling throat, so she put Finnja down on the floor, nodded slightly and cuddled with the girl for a moment, before turning to Kjell. "We will see each other again Sigyn": he said encouragingly. “But when? How often? You know I don't like the answers to that, none of us does” Sigyn replied quietly. "I know and we are infinitely grateful that you are doing this for us Sigyn. I wish we could have taken a different path". For a few seconds there was silence, then he pulled his sister firmly into his arms and closed his eyes to get rid of the dampness in them. "Promise you'll take care of yourself Sigyn, promise you'll try to be happy without us,": he whispered, his body trembling a little as they separated and Sigyn grabbed her bag and then walked towards the two guards standing in front of their house.

One last time before she left the house, she turned back, looked at everyone and tried not to get her heart broken, knowing that she might not see them for weeks or even months or longer. The moment she would step out of this house, it would not be her home anymore. Her gaze glided once more over all of her brothers and sisters, then she stepped outside and she didn't dare to look back again, afraid of her loss and her feelings, until she sat on the brown-spotted horse and rode out of the city towards the palace.

Uncertainty was written on her face more and more with each step the horse walked.

Sigyn was not able to look back again, not once.

It had begun to rain. Fine, stringy threads that fell from the grey coloured sky slowly formed puddles.

Sigyn had pulled the hood of her somewhat holey coat over her head, far into her face. She tried in vain to protect herself from the wetness that had already trenched her clothes and thought about the hole in the roof at her home, that nobody had re-covered this summer. Well, her old home.

Her new one lay before her, shining golden and mighty, even without the sun and stretching to the left and right further than any other building Sigyn knew. It wouldn´t be much longer until they would arrive, maybe half an hour, but she already felt dizzy. That shimmering gold and that light and that palace. . . she didn't belong there. She, with these shabby and frayed clothes and the life in poverty she had lived so far.

Besides, she wasn't a classic beauty at all. The thought of the queens beauty alone, of her blonde hair and soft eyes, made her feel awful. Sigyn definitely wasn´t what was called a amazing beauty in Asgardian beliefs, she wasn´t ugly either, but impossible beautiful, no. Not her.

Her skin had an almost unnatural paleness, her eyes were a blue shade of grey, her hair was a dark brown, which glowed in an irregular red when light hit it, and she was the tallest woman she knew. Sigyn could not remember ever having met a woman taller than her. Even her older brother wasn´t very much taller than her. Also, she had a scar diagonally along her lower jaw, which was only faint, but visible and her nose had a small bulge on its back. It was really very difficult to see it, but every time Sigyn drove her fingers over her face she was bothered by it. And she, this inconspicuous woman should now live in the palace, far away from everyone she knew and far away from everything that was home to her.

What would happen to all the dreams she had? She had always wished to live in the city one day, with someone who loved her and with children. Who would be interested in her, up there in the golden mountain of towers and balconies, if they could find the most beautiful ladies of the whole country there?

Her discomfort turned into a pain in her stomach and it didn't get better the closer they came to the shining monster. The palace seemed bigger and bigger and more intimidating the further they rode and Sigyn was impressed how even the storm could not suppress the power it radiated. What was she doing here? Did she really want to live there?

Did she had a choice?

~ ~

With his hands folded behind his back he stood in front of the big window. His chest rose and fell as he breathed, but otherwise he looked motionlessly at the expanse that stretched in front of the palace.

The rain had somehow softened the landscape and a light fog spoiled the view, but nonetheless he was able to spot the three horses heading to the big main gate. Guards sat on the left and right horse, in the middle sat a rather fine figure in a dark robe. He knew that it probably was the woman his mother had chosen as the new lady-in-waiting, because she had been in the town just yesterday because of this.

His fingers turned the ring on his hand as the door to the room was pushed open loudly and crashed against the wall so hard, that he could hear some of the sandy stone crumbling.

"You're really still standing there". A deep voice from somewhere behind him bellowed this softly at the black-haired man standing at the window. Rough and wild was the tone of the other one, who now came closer to him. Without turning around he knew that it was Thor who had come home from his ride with friends. He did not answer his brother, but kept staring outside, not wanting to talk to him. Why should he?

Thor was now standing right next to him, also looking out of the window and stroking through his soaking wet hair. His friends and him must have been outside when the rain started. "What's so interesting that you can stand here all day and look outside Loki?” Thor wanted to know, but already walked away from his brother and got rid of his soaked cape, which was covered with dirty stains.

Loki continued to look at the three horses that by now had arrived at the big gate. The woman got help getting off of the horse and then they disappeared through the doors of the palace, the horses were led away by one of the stable boys. He turned to his brother and suddenly lost the desire to look at the landscape, which he hadn't really looked at anyway and answered slowly and with an indefinable tone: "I was just thinking".

"About what?": Thor asked while he straightened his top and Loki stared at him for a silent moment, before he turned his head away and said calmly and seriously: "You wouldn't understand it anyways". "No, probably not at all": Thor admitted without any shame and shrugged his shoulders: "You are the clever one of us". "I know".

The black-haired man was tired of talking about these things, all the things he was and Thor wasn't. He didn't want to hear or think about what made the two of them different and the few things that connected them. Loki sometimes wanted to be free of his own thoughts. "Mothers lady-in-waiting has just arrived": he started talking about another subject and sat down on the dark red, upholstered chair that stood beside him. He laid both arms on the armrests and cross his legs.

"Her name is Sigyn, I believe. Mother told me about her yesterday. Maybe she's pretty,": explained Thor, his mouth widened to a grin he gave Loki, but the latter didn't return his smile: "I don't know why you should care” "Come on Loki, you can't tell me you wouldn't like it if she is pretty. You would like it more if she was pretty, than if she was not": laughed his brother and Loki made a pejorative gesture with his hand: "Hardly. In my opinion it is not one of Asgards most glorious traditions to bring some lowlifes from the city to the palace and letting them live here like we do. Let it stay where it belongs, this pack": he replied, made an almost disgusted face and breathed out deeply.

Loki just didn't understand why such a rabble should keep his mother company, the new court lady probably couldn't even read and was all dirty. The people were there to serve them, not to live with them on the same floor.

Thor didn't reply to that. He already knew about his brothers opinion well enough and had stopped wondering when the little, good-natured boy had become the cold and rejecting man he was now. When or why Loki had started to shut himself off from the rest of the world to spent most of the time alone. Every time he thought about it, he couldn't come up with an answer. Perhaps it was simply the nature of his brother, he had always been the more serious and rational one, the one who thought a lot. Perhaps Loki had already understood things Thor never would.

"I'm going to go and see father now and tell him what we shot at today's hunt": he told Loki instead and with a sweeping lightness picked up Mjölnir, which he had put down on the table. The black-haired man nodded: "Do that ... and tell your friend Fandral that he has to keep his hands away from women as long as I am present”. The last part he shouted after Thor, who left the room again, smiling and throwing the hammer into the air.

The door closed and Loki was alone again. Or he still was, he wasn't sure about that yet. He remained seated on the chair, his eyes fixed on a point on the opposite wall. His breath had become a little faster and it was so quiet that he could hear his own heart pumping blood through his body in a monotonous, treacherous beat. Then he suddenly stood up and rushed with light, barely noticeable steps out of the room, out into the cold halls, straight to the stables. The silence had suddenly become too heavy for him. Too lonely and oppressive to bear alone for any longer.

So while he ran through the palace, blind to any sun and with an icy heart that squeezed the air out of him, Sigyn, far away from him, got her breath constricted by a corset, which could not contain the loss in her heart.

>> Chapter 3

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