i dare you (you're gonna fall, but i'll catch you)
shivlina tumblr prompt: five times someone notices shivlina acting odd and one time they're honest about it
words: 5k
read here or on ao3
v.
Roman’s a good brother.
When Shiv tells him she’s getting a divorce, he expects it to be the end of the world. He expects the waterworks and the flamethrowers, blaring tornado sirens, and a news broadcast to alert the entire city, because that’s how much his sister loves to milk her fucking tragedy of a life, and he’s ready for it. Don’t get it twisted; he does the nice thing. He sends her a stupid e-card with a series of explosions over his favorite paparazzi shot of Tom eating a street-cart pretzel and offers to spread a rumor around the office that Tom caught chlamydia from the linebacker on his college football team, and even though Shiv vetoes the latter offer, Roman still considers spreading it anyway because that’s how good of a brother he is.
He’s so good in fact, that he knows his condolence strategy must have worked, because it’s been six days since the last time Shiv verbally assaulted him, and nearly nine since the last time she’d physically assaulted him. It must’ve been his handiwork, because there’s no conceivable way that his sister would be going through a divorce and not making it everyone else’s problem, right?
After the eighth day of calm, Roman can’t take it anymore. He corners Shiv in her office, the golden plaque reading President of Domestic Operations looking far too shiny for his liking. He grabs at it just to add a little smudge.
“Could you not?” Shiv asks, glaring in his direction. Her gaze immediately falls back on her cell phone, the brief annoyance gone almost as quickly as Roman had provoked it.
“Not even a fuck you?” Roman asks, dropping into one of the chairs in front of her desk. “I see where I stand these days.”
Except Shiv doesn’t even hear him. She laughs at her phone, that stupid smile on her face growing in a way that makes him want to throw up and ask to be let in on the joke all at once.
“What’s got you perkier than Kendall in a Kith apothecary?”
Shiv looks up, scowl returned, and he thinks it feels something like a hug, if that were something he and Shiv ever really did.
“Did you want something, or did you just come in here to fill my office up with your stink?” she asks, and Roman feels a sense of relief at the volatility.
“I wanted to know what you were looking at,” Roman says, tapping his fingers on the desk.
“You came all the way down here to ask what’s on my phone?”
“That is what I said, right?” Roman asks. “Who are you talking to?”
Shiv raises an eyebrow at the question.
“Uh—no one, Rome,” she says, albeit unconvincingly.
“Sure,” Roman says. “So, you’re just laughing at cat videos and not another one of the texts that just came through on your phone?”
Roman tries to peer over the desk, but Shiv covers up her phone up her phone quickly. She’s hiding something.
“Roman, I’m not—“ Shiv cuts herself off. “You know you’re the only one who knows, right?”
“Am I?”
“Well, are you?” she asks. “Or is Tabitha sending me dating show casting calls just for shits and giggles?”
“She’s been doing that?” Roman whines. Disappointing. He wanted to do that. “I’m just saying, you’ve been acting…” He waves his hands around, Shiv’s brows furrowing deeper.
“What is this, are you trying to invent a secret language that nobody else knows?” she asks, eyes flitting between her phone and Roman as it dings, again.
“Don’t you have a job to be doing?” he says.
“Don’t you?”
Okay. Touché.
“This is my job,” Roman says. “I’m the Chief Operational Officer. I’m chiefing your operations.”
“Uh-huh,” Shiv says. “In that case, domestic operations are going well. Public opinion polls are up by two points, and I have a meeting with Karolina later today to discuss next steps. Any other operational matters I can see to for you today, Mr. Roy?”
“Okay, okay,” Roman says, waving her off, though one name in her report stood out greatly. “You and Karolina have been spending a lot of time together.”
“You and Gerri spend a lot of time together.”
Roman leans back in the chair, “She’s my mentor.”
“I can’t have a mentor?” Shiv asks.
Roman eyes her. If she’s telling the truth, then that means Shiv isn’t anything to worry about.
“So, you want PR?” Roman asks. “Not CEO?”
“What I want, is a reality where you’re not riding my ass every ten minutes,” Shiv says. It’s a non-answer, Roman’s not a dumbass, but at least he’s closer to the truth. Shiv’s divorce doesn’t matter because she’s got her hat in the ring. And Karolina’s backing her.
“Fine, fine, I’m going,” Roman says, standing. He pauses at the door, knowing he needs to throw her off his line of questioning. “Are you ovulating?”
“What?” Shiv asks, and if looks could kill, Roman would certainly be six feet under.
“Just asking,” Roman says. “You’re, like, glowy.”
“Fuck off,” Shiv says.
Roman doesn’t have to be told twice. Gerri’s going to get a kick out of this.
iv.
Kendall’s not paranoid.
A little bit obsessive? Sure. Hungry for power? He can own up to that. Good at making enemies? Most definitely. But paranoid? Absolutely not. This, however; it just doesn’t make any sense.
“What are you saying, Shiv?” he asks. On a normal day, she’d be at his throat, telling him that all of his ideas are bad ones and that it’s all going to crash and burn. On a normal day.
“That…I think it’s a good idea?” Shiv says, turning her head at him slowly. “Did you want me to scream and cry and tell you I hate it?”
“I mean—no,” Kendall says. “I guess, I just, expected a little pushback. That’s all.”
Shiv shrugs, a loose hand around her coffee mug. She’d sat next to Kendall in the conference room instead of across from him, unnerving coming from a woman who can oftentimes barely look in his direction.
“I read the notes you sent last night, and they make sense,” Shiv says. “No need to reinvent the wheel, here. Your plan is better.”
Which sounds exactly like something someone else would be telling her to say, and that can only mean one of two things. Shiv’s playing the game, or Dad’s putting her up to it.
“Is that a Karolina line?” Kendall asks, watching every minuscule movement of Shiv’s face. First she pauses—caught off guard, then her eyes narrow. She’s not looking at him anymore.
“I—a what?”
That’s it. “They’re feeding you lines, aren’t they?” Kendall says, standing up. “Unbelievable, this is—just, great, Shiv. Really, it’s great.”
Shiv rolls her eyes, coffee mug forgotten.
“Yeah, Kendall, I’m fucking wiretapped and the feds are bursting in here any minute to nab you for cruises. This is all actually just a ruse and you’ve been trained your whole life to take the fall for this one moment, you caught us,” she says.
“I’m serious, Shiv—if this is a setup—”
“I’m not lying, Ken, Jesus,” Shiv says. “I read the plan and I thought about it. That’s what you fucking wanted me to do, right? Can you accept that before I fuckin’ change my mind?”
It still doesn’t feel right. Shiv’s never given into one of Kendall’s ideas this easily and willingly in her life. He’s sure Karolina had something to do with it, and by extension their dad, but he also wants to believe Shiv, which he won’t, but he can pretend to at the very least.
“Fine,” Kendall says. “Okay, great, um—thank you, Shiv.”
“Sure,” Shiv says. “And, by the way—Karolina’s not, feeding me lines, or whatever you think. God, you and Roman, you’re like, fucking irrational.”
“Yeah, no, of course not,” Kendall says. “The mind games, they’re—you know.”
“Yeah, sure,” Shiv says.
He leaves the meeting feeling entirely and unequivocally unsatisfied. Roman wouldn’t be his first source of confidante on a bad day, but he has no one else to trust, and he’s the only other person who could possibly want Shiv in the CEO seat any less than Kendall.
“Hey, Roman—“ he says, entering Roman’s office. “Is Shiv, like, I mean—is there something…off?”
Roman stands up, looking out the windows of his office before turning back to Kendall and crossing his arms.
“You didn’t hear it from me,” Roman says lowly, “but I heard she’s ovulating.”
Kendall looks up, Roman’s dead serious.
“You mean—her and Tom?”
“Like jackrabbits,” Roman says.
“Gross, dude.”
Roman throws his hands up in the air.
“You asked.”
iii.
Karolina doesn’t get distracted. Gerri knows that much.
She knows a lot, in fact, such as Karolina’s educational background: a summa cum laude BA in Public Relations and an ivy league MS in Strategic Communication. Karolina’s career path: Assistant at a crisis management firm, Account Manager for a think tank, and then a Manager at Waystar—merged into Waystar Royco shortly after. Karolina’s consistent weekend plans: drop off her dry cleaning early on Saturday morning, pick up breakfast from her favorite cafe on the way back, work into the evening, pick up dry cleaning and groceries on Sunday, watch trash reality TV until she falls asleep, meet Gerri early in the office on Monday morning to drink coffee and sync (Karolina’s missed the last two Mondays). And Gerri knows all about Karolina’s dating history: the broody painter in college, the personal accountant in her twenties, the short-lived engagement to the non-profit president in her thirties. The absence that’s followed.
Yeah. Gerri knows a lot—and she certainly knows that Karolina doesn’t get distracted. So, it’s a mystery to her why she’s now received two press reports, riddled with mistakes. She would chalk it up to delegation—maybe Karolina’s giving some baby-faced assistants a chance, or she’s been fed conflicting information along the chain of command—but these are high-level, directly from Karolina, and directly her mistakes to make. Karolina’s lucky it’s Gerri who’s receiving them first, because they’re a liability, is what they are, and anyone else in the office wouldn’t be as tactful about it as Gerri’s choosing to be.
She calls Karolina in for a meeting over lunch. Low pressure, familiar territory, but even then, Karolina is quieter than usual. She’s not quite pensive as much as she is splitting, her mind obviously going in multiple directions at once. She's having trouble keeping up with Gerri’s conversation, only vaguely remembering details that Gerri has already told her and not quite adding anything substantial to the conversation unless provoked, her eyes occasionally dropping to her turned-over phone on the chair arm beside her.
Gerri decides to bite the bullet.
“Is everything alright?” she asks, stopping herself in the middle of a sordid tale about Frank and Karl’s latest excursion in Shareholder-Land. “You seem preoccupied lately.”
Karolina’s reaction is verification enough, the surprise and sudden discomfort apparent all over her body, but physical tells mean nothing to Gerri when it comes to Karolina. Her tell, is that Karolina has told her nothing, when by now, Gerri should know everything.
“I mean, yeah,” Karolina says, sitting up straighter. “There’s a lot going on. You know how it is.”
“I know how it is, sure,” Gerri says, unconvinced. She pulls out the press releases, red ink splattered all over the pages, “Wanna tell me about these, though?”
“Oh,” Karolina says, grabbing the pages from Gerri. “Your notes?”
Gerri nods, and Karolina looks down at the pages, brows instantly furrowing in concentration. Gerri watches the head tilts and the squinted eyes, the mouthing of words as Karolina silently reads lines back to herself, the constant switching between pages to fully grasp the inconsistencies and the contradictions. Her back is stiffer when she’s finished, and she stares at the pages.
“Um, good—” Karolina says, moving to clean up her belongings. “Thanks, Gerri. I’ll fix these up and get them back to you.”
“Karolina,” Gerri says, and Karolina pauses, albeit a little unwillingly, staring back at Gerri expectantly. “I’m going to ask again, is everything alright?”
Karolina crosses her arms, a feigned innocence on her face. “Yes, Ger—everything’s fine. These are just stupid mistakes, I’m sorry.”
“I’m not scolding you,” Gerri says, because they’re in the office, and these are serious mistakes, and while Karolina is her subordinate, she’s also her friend. “I’m just checking in. This isn’t like you.”
Gerri watches the internal battle as it happens, Karolina running through every scenario and calculating the results of each possible course of action. It’s always a roll of the dice with Karolina, but Gerri at least knows that if she doesn’t get the answer out of Karolina today, she will get it out of her eventually.
“I guess I have been preoccupied,” Karolina admits. “But, you know…things are good.”
“Things are good?” Gerri confirms, and Karolina smiles slightly as she nods.
“Things are really good,” Karolina says. Gerri has no reason to not believe her, and also knows it’s not the time to press further.
“Okay,” Gerri concedes. “Then, make sure the next versions of those releases aren’t going to make us liable for libel in seven different nations, alright?”
“Message received,” Karolina says.
Gerri nods, partially satiated with the outcome of the meeting, and she’s about to send Karolina off when Shiv pokes her head through the door. Gerri feels dense for not seeing it before. The extra meetings. Shiv’s recent agreeable attitude toward Gerri. The way Karolina bites her lip if only to stop her smile from growing, and the laser focus of her eyes. Shiv’s mischievous smirk. Of course. Karolina’s fucking lovesick.
“Hey, sorry if I’m interrupting,” Shiv says. “Can I steal Karolina?”
“Seeing as neither of us owns her, I don’t see why not,” Gerri says, and Karolina clears her throat, nervous.
“Great,” Shiv says, then to Karolina, “I’ll be in my office.”
Karolina nods, as Shiv exits, picking up the rest of her things.
“Karolina?” Gerri calls out, stopping her at the door.
“Yeah?”
“Remember,” Gerri warns. “Liability.”
The instant flush of Karolina’s face is the only confirmation she needs.
ii.
The event is nice, but Willa’s not much into the family business.
She finds it monotonous to stand around and listen to a bunch of legacy businessmen discuss stocks and market trends and, God forbid, politics, like they’re all the second coming of Jordan Belfort himself. She hates the way they all look down on Connor as if he isn’t the only Roy heir who doesn’t need Daddy’s company, and she really hates the way they all look down on her as if she’s some mail-order bride who couldn’t understand the first thing about the economy, but she does really enjoy the people-watching, and those cucumber finger sandwiches that rich people love, and the expensive dresses she gets to buy that are most definitely integral to stimulating the fucking economy. And she especially loves eavesdropping, even more so when it’s Connor’s brothers discussing what’s up with Shiv, going on and on about Shiv and Karolina and their two-woman coup as if the real answer isn’t glaringly obvious.
“I’m telling you, dude,” Kendall says, pointing his glass towards Roman, “she’s scheming.”
“Come on, Shiv?” Connor chimes in. “She’s done just fine on her own all these years. What does she need from pops?”
“What do any of us need from him, Con?” Roman jeers. “She’s obviously changed her mind. She wants the big seat.”
“What, and Karolina’s helping her?” Connor asks. “She’s a wonderful woman, really, but what does our People Magazine liaison have over who’s going to be the next Chief Executive?”
“She’s Head of Communications, Connor,” Kendall says. “It’s, like, her whole job to communicate. If she’s on Shiv’s side, she could already be swaying public opinion and in the internal memos. We’re fucked.”
Willa doesn’t like to step in often, but this is a bit much. “Wouldn’t you be able to, like, see if she were doing that?”
All three men pause, eyes now on her. Roman seems to be considering her point, but Connor jumps to Kendall’s defense.
“I’ve read about this. Psychological Operations are very difficult to recognize, even when you know they’re occurring. The Romans used flaming pigs to scare off Egyptian war elephants that would eventually trample their own troops.” He claps his hands together. “That’s it. You need to figure out Shiv’s flaming pig.”
“My what?”
The next few moments are very important to Willa’s observations. First, Shiv shows up alone. Not with Tom, not with the old guard, alone. Then, after confusing and awkward greetings between Roman trying to make pig jokes, Kendall stammering his way through an apology, and Connor desperately trying to explain Ancient Roman Flaming Pigs, Shiv immediately asks if any of them have seen Karolina. Shiv’s meeting her. Willa has to hide a knowing smile behind her champagne, her amusement only exacerbated by the panicked look in both Kendall and Roman’s eyes. Then, the best thing possible occurs.
Gerri and Karolina walk up to the group.
At first, Willa thinks her theory is toast. They all greet one another with the kind of cordial professionalism anyone would expect, and Shiv’s reaction to Karolina isn’t anything out of the ordinary. That is until Roman pulls the group into a conversation about how Logan really isn’t going to like the menu and wants, “to know who’s going to break the news to the kitchen staff that they have just over an hour to source a cod from Massachusetts itself or face getting a review that will surely destroy their yearly earnings for at least three more event seasons,” and Shiv, under the impression that nobody is paying attention, takes the opportunity to whisper something in Karolina’s ear.
Willa watches as Shiv’s hand meets the small of Karolina’s back while they catch up, and Willa immediately tugs on Connor, nodding slightly in their direction. He’s confused at first, and Willa, not wanting to cause a scene, first tries pulling a face, and upon an unsuccessful charade, spells it out for Connor quietly in his ear.
“That’s?” he whispers back, and Willa nods, downing a sip of champagne in excitement.
“Wow,” Connor says out loud, and Willa winces as the entire group looks at him.
“What is it?” Kendall asks, and Connor flounders with a series of sounds that could possibly count as English, Willa immediately jumping in over him.
“It’s just, so sad…that Logan might have to eat…salmon,” Willa says, internally cringing at the save, but grateful that none of them think highly enough of her to see it as anything out of the ordinary.
“It’s devastating,” Gerri deadpans. “Come on, boys. Let’s go save the day.”
Gerri stalks off, herding Roman and Kendall like two little ducklings who have no choice but to follow the leader, and it leaves Willa and Connor with Shiv and Karolina.
“I’m going to get a drink,” Karolina says to Shiv. “Do you want anything?”
“Uh, I’ll meet you at the bar,” Shiv says, and her eyebrows raise, a silent communication between the two women that Willa isn’t supposed to be privy to. She lets Shiv and Connor catch up, not missing the way Shiv’s eyes flicker in the direction of the bar area every thirty seconds or so, and after the fourth time Willa tugs on Connor’s jacket discreetly, it taking everything in her not to fucking spit out her champagne at the way he decides to close the conversation.
“You know, Shiv, it’s perfectly natural to experience a broader emotional undertaking as you continue to age,” Connor says. “I mean, sometimes I look at Tom Brady…and I wonder.”
Shiv, rightfully confused, looks to Willa for clarity, and Willa can only offer a sympathetic smile as they lock eyes.
“Great, Connor,” Shiv says. “Thank you, for…sharing.”
“Of course, honey,” Connor says. “Enjoy the party.”
Shiv walks away, and Willa has half a mind to tail her just for the entertainment of it all, but she figures Shiv is owed some privacy, not that she and Karolina are doing an exceptional job at hiding whatever it is that they have going on.
“Was that too obvious?” Connor asks, worry lines on his face. Willa can’t help it as she looks in Shiv’s direction one more time, spotting her and Karolina by the bar, clearly enraptured with one another.
“No, Con,” she says. “That was perfect.”
i.
Karolina notices two things as she walks into her apartment. Shiv Roy looks exceptionally beautiful under the soft light of dawn, and Karolina’s feet fucking hurt. She sighs in relief as she sits down on her couch, undoing the heel straps that had been cutting into her ankles all night. Shiv follows suit, looking tired, flushed, and still slightly giggly from a terrible story Karolina had told her about a college bet and a game of darts, and Karolina leans back into the couch, unable to take her eyes off of Shiv.
“It’s late,” Karolina says, though the words don’t really go anywhere. They hang, with no meaning behind them.
“So?” Shiv asks, because she knows they’re empty too. Karolina, always searching for reasons.
“The late nights—I’ve been slacking off at work,” Karolina says. “People are starting to notice.”
People, meaning Gerri, but she’s the worst person of all to have on your ass. Shiv frowns slightly, her gaze concerned.
“If helping me is too much…” Shiv says, trailing off. Her hand rests in the empty space between them, extended, but not making contact. “I’ll be fine, Karolina. It’s not my first rodeo.”
“No, I know,” Karolina says, her hand itching to meet Shiv’s in the middle. “I don’t mind it. I just need to stay focused on my own work as well.”
And it’s hard, when Shiv is in her apartment. When Shiv is in her office. When Shiv is Shiv. And Karolina is Karolina.
“Okay,” Shiv says, her head nodding in support. “Care to explain why this is important for me to know on a Saturday night, though?”
“Maybe it’s a sort of preamble?” Karolina says.
“To?”
Karolina sucks in a nervous breath. “Have you noticed people—acting funny?”
Shiv looks away momentarily, lightly shrugging.
“Maybe,” she says, but then her eyes return to Karolina’s, narrowing. “Why, is something going on?”
“I mean, is there, Shiv?” Karolina asks. “It’s three in the morning and you’re in my apartment. For the third time this week.”
Shiv, to her credit, just looks deeply confused.
“If you want me to leave, I can,” she says, and it’s that moment that Karolina finally grabs her hand. They both look down as she does.
“No,” she says. “No, I—I don’t want you to leave, Shiv. That’s the thing. I’d really like it if you stayed, but—”
“But?” Shiv’s eyes are still on their hands, making no move to separate.
“But,” Karolina says, steadying herself. “Are we—I mean, what are we doing, Shiv?”
“We’re sitting on your couch,” Shiv says, and Karolina moves closer.
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
Shiv pauses, searching Karolina’s eyes for something to latch onto. “What do you want to be doing?” Shiv asks.
Karolina considers all of the options before her. She could choose a distant friendship, or a professional mentorship. She could choose nothing, and effectively ice Shiv out, or, she could choose honesty. Choose the thing that snuck up on her. The thing she should’ve known all along.
“I want to kiss you,” Karolina admits, and she holds her breath as she waits for Shiv’s response.
“Then kiss me.”
vi.
“It’s disgusting,” Roman says, leaning against the wall. His eyes are scanning the room of the party, just a little New Year get-together for Royco & family, Gerri beside him, sipping a martini.
“What is?” Gerri asks.
“How nice she makes Shiv,” Roman says. Gerri follows his eyes, landing on the couple across the room, Shiv and Karolina attached at the hip. Karolina laughs animatedly at something someone in the group has said, and Shiv watches her with an adoring expression, her hand rubbing along the top of Karolina’s back before it settles around Karolina’s waist.
“They’re happy,” Gerri says, like it explains anything at all. Roman thinks it doesn’t make it any less gross.
“They sent me and Tabs an anniversary bouquet,” Roman says. “Shiv doesn’t even send me a card on my birthday.”
“Shouldn’t that be a good thing?” Gerri asks, and Roman immediately shakes his head.
“Karolina’s making her a softy,” Roman says, eyeing Gerri as she laughs.
“Karolina, making Shiv a softy?” Gerri says. “Shiv’s making Karolina a softy.”
“What?” Roman says. “Shiv doesn’t have a soft bone in her body. She’s quite literally physically incapable of being soft, yet somehow Karolina has done it.”
“And Karolina wouldn’t know soft if it hit her like a stone,” Gerri says. “She used to eat interns for lunch, and now she lets them hide in her office when they cry.”
Roman looks at Gerri, her own softness still up for question, and she pulls a face.
“What?”
“Are we bitter?” Roman asks.
Gerri sips her martini thoughtfully. “I’m not bitter. I’m happy for them.”
“Right,” Roman says. “And Dad’s signing over the entire company to me tomorrow.”
Gerri rolls her eyes. It hurts him that she has such little faith in his aptitude.
“In any case,” Gerri sighs, “it’s just a honeymoon phase. It’ll pass.”
“It’s been eight months,” Roman says, head still turned in Gerri’s direction. She shrugs and then stands up straighter.
“Don’t look now,” she says, and Roman does look, Shiv and Karolina headed right in their direction.
“Speak of the devil,” Roman says as the pair arrives in front of them.
“Good things?” Shiv asks, and Roman smiles.
“You know me, sis. I just love waxing about your achievements.”
“I bet,” Shiv says, smiling in return, and then her aim switches to Gerri. “Speaking of achievements, Gerri, I owe a favor to someone begging for an introduction. Can I have five minutes?”
Gerri quirks an eyebrow at Karolina, and Karolina nods as if to say, humor her, and while Roman wishes Karolina would just say it out loud, Gerri gives in easily enough. “Lead the way.” Jesus Christ. Gerri’s a fucking softy too.
Shiv squeezes Karolina’s arm before she goes off with Gerri, and Roman has to hold back a gag as they speak with their eyes, Karolina’s gaze not leaving Shiv as she takes Gerri’s place against the wall. This should be fun.
“Where’s Tabitha?” Karolina asks.
“Showing face at her family’s event,” Roman says. “They’re a bunch of centrists who parade around as progressives. Think the ATN clan is beneath her.”
Karolina nods, apparently all out of small talk apart from that one question, and Roman wishes he had any excuse to leave the spot he’s been glued to. The air is much too awkward for his liking, so he attempts to fill the silence.
“Thanks for the flowers,” he says.
“It was Shiv’s idea,” Karolina says, and Roman doesn’t think he’s ever turned his head to look at someone else so quickly before.
What?
“Okay,” he says, unable to stop a laugh from escaping him, “what have you done with the real Shiv? Is she locked in your basement somewhere? Did you replace her with some Brooklynite who fits your lesbian agenda?”
Karolina scoffs, though if he were looking closely, he’d swear she seems vaguely amused. “It was just a gesture, Roman.”
He shakes his head. Shiv doesn’t do gestures unless they’re violent and skin-breaking.
“You’re ruining her.”
“I’m ruining her,” Karolina laughs. “She was right. We should’ve sent a free session of sex therapy.”
Roman’s glass pauses at his lips. If Karolina wants to get dirty, well, Roman would love to test out how much of a softy she is.
“If anyone needs sex therapy, it’s Shiv,” Roman says. “Did she tell you her body count? It’s in the hundreds. Truly tainted, I mean, I’m surprised you’re even with her. Unless, you know—is that something people your age are still interested in?”
Karolina, interestingly, doesn’t seem phased. Maybe a little surprised, but unflinching in a way that Roman hadn’t expected. Maybe this will be fun.
“Do you ever think of anything other than your sister having sex?”
“It’s a little hard not to when you’re constantly shoving it in our faces,” Roman says. “I mean, seriously, I’m worried I’m going to get conjunctivitis from all of the secondhand eyefucking.”
“So, to be clear, you’re admitting that you purposefully watch us eyefuck long enough to receive an infection?”
“I’m saying you’re gross,” Roman huffs. “And you’re making my sister gloopy. Pulpous and squishy like a marshmallow.”
“Okay, Roman,” Karolina laughs to herself, and he can’t stand the sound of her perceived victory.
“Can you two even kiss when you get married?” he asks. “There are going to be children around, you know. Ideally, they shouldn’t find out about lesbian porn until at least middle school.”
He expects a comeback quickly, her wit proven to be able to keep up with his own, and he almost thinks he’s finally won when she speaks up.
“You think she’d marry me?” Karolina asks, voice quiet, the sharpness gone.
Roman sighs, swirling his drink around in his glass.
“I mean, you’re no grand prize, but—whatever. She’s, like, happier with you, I guess,” Roman says. “And I’ve never seen her willingly eyefuck someone for this long in a room full of strangers, so. Maybe you’re the real deal. Who knows.”
He avoids Karolina’s gaze and attempts to wash away his momentary lapse of sincerity with what’s left in his glass, silently praying for Gerri to return to put him out of his misery for once and for all. He seems to be in luck, though, because Karolina’s phone dings, and when Roman sneaks a look, it’s Dad’s name on the ID, a call she can’t ignore.
“Is there anyone in this family who doesn’t have you completely whipped?” Roman asks.
Karolina looks at him.
“I mean, you can keep dreaming, Roman,” Karolina says. “I know you like to do that.”
She smiles, and then walks off, leaving Roman alone on the wall.
Fine. Maybe it’s not Karolina who’s soft.
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Okay so I did A poll and you guys chose I write A Colby imagine so please be kind this is my first one.
Colby Brock x fem! Reader
Summary: you and Colby have been secretly dating and Sam, Katrina, Nate and Seth don't know so when you perform in LA they come to a show. This story is based off the song paper rings by Taylor swift
Warning: language, fluff, sexual allusions
You sat on zoom with kat ( this is before her and Sam broke up) and you were getting ready to send her a copy of the new song you wrote for her to listen to. ‘’ ok, so kat I am sending you a copy of the song right now and I want your honest opinion’’ you said to her. She smiled and you could tell she was excited. Katrina had no idea you and Colby were dating or that your new song was about her boyfriend's best friend. While the guys were currently filming a video in Tonopah , Nevada at the Mizpah Hotel Katrina decided to stay behind so when you wanted to let her listen to your new song she screamed. ‘’ so I am the first one to hear your song?!’’ she was so excited. ‘ yes you are! Okay I sent you the link’’ you told her. She clicked on it and the song started.
The moon is high
Like your friends were the night that we first met
Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet
Now I've read all of the books beside your bed
You saw that kat was smiling and loving it.
The wine is cold
Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street
Cat and mouse for a month or two or three
Now I wake up in the night and watch you
Breathe
You could tell she was waiting for you to tell her who the song was about " are you going to tell me who
It's about?" she asked you. "i am not telling you. But I will tell you he is going to be at the show. " you said.
Kiss me once cause you know I had a long night
( Oh) kiss me twice cause it's gonna be alright
Three times cause I've waited my whole life
( One, two, one, two, three, four)
I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper
Rings
Uh, huh, that's right
Darling, you're the one I want, and
I hate accidents except when we went from
Friends to this
Uh, huh that's right
Darling, you're the one I want
In paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams
Oh, you're the one I want
" That was amazing! The way you are telling that guy you would marry him with just paper rings. The chorus is amazing! i am just in shock like I want to hear more of it!" she said with excitement in her voice.
Sam, Colby, Nate and Seth just walked through the door and they heard you and kat talking. " dude, why is Katrina yelling so loud?" Sam asked there friends. They continued to listen on what she was saying and trying to figure out who she was talking to. They listened closely and looked at each other " she's talking to (y /n) ." Nate said looking at his friends. Colby's mind found its way thinking about you. No one knew you and Colby were dating not even your best friends. When he herd your voice it reminded him of that time you and him were in his car and driving and singing songs, or that one time it was raining and you and him were walking home and it started raining and he pulled you close and kissed you for the first time.
Sam knew something was up when he went to talk to him about the evidence and saw him zoning out. " Sam do you know what's up with him? " Seth said. " I've never seen him like this." Nate said. Sam got up and jumped on Colby and that got him out of his head. " what the hell Colby!? " Sam yelled. They looked at him and saw him blushing." why are you blushing dude?" Sam asked him." I'm not blushing dude, it's hot in here " he said walking away to the kitchen. They looked and saw the temperature was at 70 degrees and they looked at each other and shrugged.
It's been a couple weeks and Sam and Colby just got back from filming hell week. You knew they would be too tired to cook so you decided to bring them food. You walked to there door and knocked. Katrina opened the door and yelled and hugged you. The guys heard yelling and ran to the living room and saw you there and hugged you. " dude, I'm so excited to see you! How are you?" Colby smiling while looking at you."i missed you so much Colby you have no idea.i also brought food for you all and I got you all surprises!' you said. After everyone ate and they sat down you handed them there surprise. " wait. Are these tickets to your show?" Seth asked you. You nodded and smiled. Colby jumped up and hugged you and you wrapped your arms around his neck. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against yours, smiling and savoring this moment you all were having. " you have no idea how long I've been missing you and the way your lips tastes.’’ Colby said to you. "i think I have a pretty good idea now much you missed me by the videos and photos you sent me " you told him. He started to blush and you kissed his nose and smiling at him.
A few weeks go by and it was the day of the concert and you herd a knock against your door, your make-up artist went and opened the door and there was kat looking at you and you saw a tear coming from her eyes as she sees her best friend getting ready for her first concert. When the guys get there and they see you there mouths drop ( your outfit is what is pictured above ). When Colby sees you he smiles knowing they have no idea you and him are dating and now him seeing you dressed up he wouldn't lie if he wasn't getting turned on by seeing you in this outfit." well we are heading to our seats we will see you out there ". You smile at blow bliss at them.
" You all are in for it, this song has to be her best one yet. Plus the guy who it's about is in the crowd and we all want to know who it is " kat said. Colby just was smiling thinking about you, luckily no one was looking at him.
You take A deep breath before yelling " make some noise L.A." you yelled and hearing them scream for you. After singing cruel summer,i think he knows, afterglow your new song comes on. This song is about someone who is here and I love you " you say in the microphone.
The moon is high
Like your friends were the night that we first met
Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet
Now I've read all the books beside your bed
The wine is cold
Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street
Cat and mouse for a month or two or three
Now I wake up in the night and watch you
Breathe
Kiss me once cause you know I had a long night
( oh) kiss me twice cause it's gonna be alright
Three times cause I've waited my whole life
( One, two, one, two, three, four)
You could see your friends and boyfriend dancing so you decide to blow him a kiss making him blush
I like shiny things, but id marry you with paper rings
Uh huh, that's right
Darling, you're the one I want, and
I hate accidents except when we went from
Friends to this
Un huh, that's right
Darling, you're the one I want
In paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams
Oh, you're the one I want
In the winter, in the icy outdoor pool
When you jumped in first, I went in too
I'm with you even if it makes me blue
Which takes me back
To the color that we painted your best friends wall
Honey, without all the exes, fights, and flaws
We wouldn't be standing here so tall, so
Kiss you once cause I know you had a long night
( Oh) kiss you twice cause it's gonna be alright
Three times cause you waited your whole life
The crowd was screaming and singing along and you could've swore you saw people crying which only made you want to cry. You could look at Colby and see how proud he was and him thinking of that day painting Sam's room and after painting it you both had some fun but you never told Sam.
I like shiny things, but i'd marry you with paper rings
Uh huh, that's right
Darling, you're the one I want, and
I hate accidents except when we went from
Friend's to this
Un huh, that's right
Darling, you're the one I want
In paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams
Oh, you're the one I want
‘’You guys you got to pay attention now !’’ kat yelled and looked Colby's way noticing how he was focused on you. She might be playing too much but she could swear this song was about him but she pushed that thought to the back of her mind and enjoyed the concert.
I want to drive away with you
I want your complications too
I want your dreary Mondays
Wrap your arms around me, baby boy
I want to drive away with you
I want your complications too
I want your dreary Mondays
Wrap your arms around me, baby boy
Uh huh
I like shiny things, but i’d marry you with paper rings
Un huh, that's right
I hate accidents except when we went from
Friends to this
Un huh
Darling, you're the one I want
I like shiny things, but i’d marry you with Paper rings
Un huh, that's right
Darling, you're the one I want, and
I hate accidents except when we went from
Friends to this
Uh huh, that's right
Darling, you're the one I want
In paper rings, in picture frames, in all dreams
You're the one I want
You're the one I want, one I want
You're the one I want, one I want
At the end of the song you saw people smiling, some were crying, you saw your best friends and the love of your life. All of them waved and you yelled " thank you L.A. For making the last stop on my tour amazing I will never forget it!’’ and with that your show ended.
You saw Sam and kat come running to you and hugged you telling you how proud they are of you, next you saw Nate and Seth hugging you and telling you now good you did. Then there was Colby who hugged you so tight he didn't care if he got sweat all over him. He looked at you " can I kiss you please " he asked you " you didn't have to ask my love " you told him while he pressed against yours and your friends looking at each other realizing what there seeing and who the song was about. Sam looked at you " what the hell dude! We never keep secrets from each other. And what did you guys do when painting my room?" he asked." were sorry for keeping our relationship a secret but we wanted to enjoy us. And Sam don't worry we cleaned up the mess " you told him. He looked like he saw a ghost." girl we are having a sleep over when you guys get done I want details on everything " kat said you laughed as they walked away. "i love you Colby " you said, "i love you too " he said as you all kissed
Fin
Thank you for reading this! If you want one done tell me and also today 11/27 is Sam's birthday
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