#she's probably blaming herself when she's the last person that should feel responsible for my fucked up mental health
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#i know my mom is worried about me and it makes me SICK#this is why i never talked about shit when i was younger#she's probably blaming herself when she's the last person that should feel responsible for my fucked up mental health#i hate this so much#i'm like really struggling at the moment#and like i talk about this stuff now. at least with my mom#and she's always trying to be so strong and so positive and i literally always feel better after i talk to her#but i can see it in her eyes that she's worried and she's sad and it breaks my fucking heart#i know she wants me to be happy#and sometimes i just wanna shut up and never talk about my shit again because i don't want her to worry about me#but i literally can't do it anymore#i've been hiding this shit for years and i can't do it anymore#especially because it gets worse when i isolate myself#she's my everything and the only thing that makes me feel better is talking to her#but it fucking hurts when i know she's suffering and she acts like everything is fine#i really don't know how she does it and i'm so glad she has my dad so they can talk about stuff#but my god i wish i wasn't such a messed up person so she wouldn't have to worry about me#i feel so fucking awful i just want my mom to be ok#she really doesn't deserve to have a fucked up daughter like me#i know she loves me and she would never say anything bad about me#but sometimes i think about how much better her life would be if i was never born#fuck sorry for being so negative on this monday morning i just hate being such a burden to everyone#why can't i just be normal
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I can only be me when i'm by your side - i'm not a monster.
As time passes recovering, you've seemed to found your place in Jihyo's arms.
cw: fluff, smut, angst, petnames, virgin!reader, sweet girl!jihyo, popular but not so popular!jihyo, basketball player!jihyo, both are 18 but they are students, mentions of death, drunk confessions, they fall in love pretty fast, lwk rushed, lmk if there is more ^_^, ~ 4k words
if you're thinking "hm! i read this fic somewhere... yes! its my heeseung fic from my bg blog @adorwoo ! which i wanted to use for jihyo !^_^ hope you enjoy anyway.
men dni.
It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
It's not your...
Is it really?
The rain beats down on your black umbrella, the lines from Dahyun's letter playing over and over in your head. It feels like you're trapped in a vicious cycle, not being able to think of anything else.
But why?
Why didn't she tell you?
Were all those conversations about the mutual trust between you two a lie? Was it just talk to keep you from worrying?
If someone had told you a week ago that you had to be at her funeral because she had killed herself, you would have laughed at that person. Dahyun was always the happiest person you've ever met.
Even if you had been told that a day ago, you wouldn't have believed it. Because in theory, it's the stupidest thing you've ever heard.
In his letter, she wrote about how much she loved you, how she enjoyed every minute and every moment with you, how it's not your fault that she's not here anymore.
She's probably right, not just probably. She's right, and you know it. But you can't stop blaming yourself. Someone has to take the blame. Someone is responsible.
You could have helped her.
You should have helped her.
Tears run down your cheeks as you stare at her grave. Her family, her friends, they are all gone. You stand here alone, not daring to leave.
'Kim Dahyun
Born on may 28, 1998.
A friend, daughter and lover.
She will continue to live in our souls.'
It feels like your eyes are glued to the writing, you can't look away. You try to regulate your breathing, taking a deep breath.
A sigh leaves your mouth as you place the white rose next to the gravestone.
You take one last look at her grave before turning and slowly walking away.
-
"I'm Y/n, nice to meet you all."
You look at the students in front of you, all of them giving you strange looks. Of course, you are a new student, but you feel uncomfortable under their gaze. The teacher smiles at you and tells you where to sit, next to a girl called Mina.
It's as if everyone has forgotten about you again as the teacher starts teaching. You sit down next to Mina and she smiles at you.
"Nice to meet you," she whispers. You smile at her.
You can't talk to her for long because she starts taking notes for the lesson. You look around at the faces of the others. It actually looks like a normal class, but your eyes land on a girl.
She looks shorter than you, her hair is brown as well as her eyes. She's wearing a white t-shirt.
"Have you laid your eye on someone?" asks Mina, laughing a little.
"No!" you answer, a little too loudly, and you put your head on the table as a few people look at you. "I was just looking at her," you whisper.
"Yeah yeah... that's what they all say" she says.
You slowly lose yourself in your thoughts as memories of Dahyun come flooding back.
Should you even look at other girls? Is it bad?
Would Dahyun hate you for trying to find love again?
It's been more than two months since she died, but you can't stop thinking about her.
Maybe it's normal, your behavior. Your overthinking of everything, maybe you're not the only person who feels this way? Maybe there is someone else who is just as lost in their thoughts as you are.
Maybe you are simply not alone.
However, your thoughts are interrupted by the bell and Mina.
"I can show you a few things here at school if you want," she suggests, and you gratefully accept her help.
You spend the whole lunch break running after her while she shows you around.
"Why did you change schools anyway? Your old one is a pretty well-known one, and much better than here," she asks, before taking a bite of her sandwich.
The question makes you wonder, and you think about whether you should just lie to her and say that you moved, or that you were somehow bullied at your school - but somehow it feels wrong. Because you neither moved nor were you bullied. No, everything was actually fine.
Actually,
Somehow everything changed after her death.
Your classmates started looking at you funny, and you still don't know whether they are looks of pity or looks of condemnation because they blame you.
"I don't know" is your answer, and somehow it's true. Sometimes you really have no idea why you changed schools, but Mina doesn't need to know the whole truth.
She just nods in response as she continues to eat.
"The girl you were looking at in English, her name is Jihyo by the way" she says.
What?
"Why are you telling me this?" you ask.
"Because you were staring at her a lot - you looked really interested in her" she replies with a little grin.
"How many times do I have to tell you, I wasn't staring at her..." you laugh a little, but can't hide your despair. Why does she think you're interested in her?
-
"Watch out!" someone shouts, but before you can react, a basketball hits you.
You fall to the floor, your head hurts and you feel slightly dizzy as you slowly open your eyes.
The girl from your English class is kneeling on the floor in front of you, looking at you, trying to see if you're okay.
It's like a cliché high school movie.
"Are you okay?" she asks, a couple of other girls come over, but she just tells them to get something to cool off and shoos them away.
The things that can happen when you want to visit the gym...
You nod slowly, after a few blinks your vision is no longer blurry.
Another girl comes back and hands Jihyo a cold pack.
"Here, take this," she says and puts it in your hand, her hand on your shoulder to support you.
You hold it to your head, biting the inside of your cheek slightly from the cold.
Before she can say anything else, she is called by his coach, at the same moment Mina comes to you.
"I was looking for you," she says and helps you up.
You watch Jihyo jogging across the field before you leave the gym.
-
New week, new luck?
Every day you tried desperately to talk to Jihyo somehow, but suddenly she was always gone after class and you were never put in a group together.
But it looks like luck is on your side for once.
"Here's the list of groups, you have to give a presentation in pairs on a play of your choice," your English teacher announces.
You look at the picture projected on the wall.
Chaeyoung and Mina,
Sana and Miyeon,
Jihyo and Y/n,
Jeongyeon and...
Wait, what?
You read the list again and once more you see your name and Jihyo's name next to each other.
"Jihyo and Y/n," you say quietly.
"Are you happy?" Mina asks teasingly with a grin on her lips.
"Are you happy that you have to work with Chaeyoung?" you ask back - Mina doesn't answer.
Before your teacher can give you any more homework for the break, the school bell rings and everyone rushes out of the classroom.
You walk (or rather, run) to Jihyo who is packing her things away.
"Hey, I was wondering when we should meet," you say, and she looks up at you and smiles. You feel your cheeks turning red.
She puts on his backpack and stands up.
"How about Friday afternoon? My place?" she suggests and you nod.
She takes a pen from her pocket, "Give me your hand," she says, you are confused but do it anyway.
She opens the pen with her mouth, the cap between her teeth as she gently writes on your hand.
Her phone number.
It feels like she's giving you an autograph.
"Text me and I'll send you my address," she says, and before you can answer, she walks out of the room.
You look down at your hand and see a little smiley face next to her number.
You can't help but giggle as you look at it.
-
You stare at your phone - up to her front door and back down to your phone.
You are 10 minutes early and don't dare to ring the doorbell.
"You know you can just ring the bell?" someone asks you, you look up and see Jihyo smiling at you.
"I'm early, that's why-"
"Not a problem," she interrupts you.
She lets you in and closes the door behind her.
Her house is beautiful, modern and yet somehow old-fashioned.
"My parents aren't here, so I thought we could study in the living room," she says, and you nod, leaning your backpack against the table.
"Water?" she asks and you take it gratefully.
You drink a little before she sits down across from you.
You both leaf through the books, take notes, talk briefly about certain passages, but otherwise no one says anything.
Jihyo decides to break the awkward atmosphere.
"I wanted to apologize again, for the basketball," she says, and you laugh a little.
"You don't have to apologize, things like that can happen," you reply.
"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" she asks, and instead of answering, you are completely silent, thinking.
Memories of Dahyun come back while Jihyo looks at you and waits for your answer.
"Yes, I did, but she died a few months ago," you answer.
She nods slightly, "Can I ask how he died?" she asks in a quiet, polite tone, as if she really wants to make sure that she's asking something that doesn't hurt you in any way.
"Suicide," you say, short and meager, without many details (whether you know many details at all is another question).
She looks at you with a supportive look, one that makes you feel like she's really listening and that she really understands you.
Maybe she understands you even more than you think?
She puts her hand on yours with a slight smile.
"Thank you for confiding in me," she says, your cheeks slightly flushed, hers too.
You both look at each other for a moment before she lets go and you both go back to work.
-
If only the work had gone on for longer.
After the one meeting, you saw her every day of the vacation. Always with the excuse that you supposedly "need to add something" (does going to the movies together add something to your project?).
It's been more than a week since you first met.
"You're in love," Mina says as she parks her car in front of Jihyo's house.
"I-"
"Don't even try to find an excuse, it's all good" she replies with a small grin.
You both get out of the car and walk to her house, the music so loud you can hear it several meters away.
How Jihyo, who is slightly drunk, hears the doorbell is also a mystery to you.
"Hey guys!" she greets you, she shakes Mina's hand and gives her a kind of high five, she gives you a hug.
You smile at her as the three of you walk into the living room.
"I'm going to Chaeyoung," Mina whispers, or rather shouts, in your ear before disappearing.
"Y/n, do you want to play a drinking game with us?" asks Jihyo, you nod.
Maybe it was a stupid decision.
Jihyo and her friends (of whom you only know Jeongyeon) only understand drinking games to mean taking shots and asking stupid questions.
Either answer - or drink.
You always chose the second option.
After about 7 questions (maybe more, maybe less - you lost count of that pretty fast) you get up and say that you need some fresh air.
Since you've been to her house several times, you know where the upstairs balcony is.
It's quite big, with a parasol and two folding chairs. You sit down on one and close your eyes, your head throbs a little.
"Are you okay?" someone asks after a few minutes.
To your surprise (not really a surprise), Jihyo stands next to you before sitting down on the chair to your right.
"Yeah, it's just the alcohol," you say.
You and alcohol, not really a good combination.
Especially not when you're sitting next to the girl you're in love with.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" you ask out of nowhere.
She shakes his head, "I thought it was obvious" she says and laughs a little.
"I love you" you confess.
She turns to you, but before he can answer anything, you keep talking.
"I know we haven't known each other that long... a month?? more? less? but-... I just have this feeling with you that I only used to have with her"
"I thought I'd never feel it again," you say, a tear running down your cheek.
Jihyo looks at you, her eyes slightly watery.
Is she crying too?
"Y/n" she says, interrupting your continued rambling.
She gets up, kneels down in front of your chair, and -
kisses you.
Her soft lips on yours.
She pulls away after just a few seconds and you already feel like you miss her lips.
"I love you too Y/n" she says softly.
You look at her in amazement.
"Really?" you ask.
"That's why I asked if you had a girlfriend" now it all makes so much more sense.
She pulls you up and takes you to the guest room. She tries to lay you down on the bed but you pull her with you and she falls on top of you.
You both stare at each other and laugh a little.
"You're drunk, get some rest," she says, kissing your forehead.
"I'll be here when you wake up"
-
And she really is next to you when you wake up.
"Good morning..." you groan as you rub your eyes.
She smiles at you, "good morning" she says, from the look on her face you suspect she woke up just a few minutes before you.
You pull her closer to you by her collar and kiss her, she kisses you back while her hand is on your cheek.
The kiss is just perfect, gentle, slow, a perfect way to start his morning.
But it can also be perfect in another way.
It gets warmer under the covers as you continue kissing, she kisses down your jaw to your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses on it. You can't help but rub your thighs together a little.
"What about the others?" you ask.
"I kicked them out yesterday after you fell asleep" she says, continuing to kiss your neck, even nibbling on it, making you let out soft moans.
"Jihyo, I think you should know that I am a virgin" you say, your cheeks heating up a little in embarrassment.
She giggles a little, kissing you on the lips again.
"Nothing to be embarrassed about baby" she replies with a smile.
She gets on top of you, continuing to kiss you.
You think kissing Jihyo is the best thing in the world.
Her hands trail over your body, giving you a soft squeeze here and there.
"Can I?" she asks, her hand playing with the buttons on your pants.
"Please" you answer with a smile.
She complies and opens them, pulling off your pants and leaving you in your underwear.
You sit up a little, your hands on her waist, feeling up her muscles, especially her abs.
"Want me to take it off?" she asks, you nod.
She pulls off her shirt over her head, dropping it somewhere on the floor.
Your finger trails up his stomach to her bra, looking at her like she is a work of art (she definetly is one).
"Done admiring me?" she asks with a teasing grin, to which you reply "never".
She leans down again, kissing your face as she starts to trail them down till he arrives at the waistband of your underwear.
"Can I?" she asks again, "yes" you answer, already out of breath.
She takes your underwear off, her hands placed on your thighs as she leaves kisses everywhere.
You can definetly tell that she has a thing for kissing.
When she places a kiss right on your clit though, you let out a small moan.
She begins licking and sucking on it, making you grab her hair with your hands as your fingers curl deeper into her scalp, leaving a delicious burn.
She drags her tongue down as she circles your core, slowly entering it a little.
You let out more moans as you turn your head to the side, moaning into the pillow.
Her tongue feels so good when you realise that you are closer and closer to your climax.
"Jihyo- I think I'm gonna-"
"Let it out princess" she mumbles against your core, the vibrations of her voice stimulating you even more as you cum into her mouth.
She smiles at you as he sits up, watching you coming down from your high.
You smile back at him as your cheeks turn red again.
"Can I?" she asks, her fingers trailing down your soft skin as her nails scratch you a little.
You look at her hand, a few veins poking out, her fingers thin but long.
You look at her again, nodding.
You pulled her closer as she rubs your clit with her fingers, you suck in your breath as she slowly pushes them in, the little stretch burning in a way that makes you even hornier.
She slips them in completly, you let out a moan in response. She takes your hand with her free one as your fingers intertwine.
She starts to slowly thrust into you, kissing you again as her tongue explores your mouth.
"You're so tight baby.." she mumbles into your mouth.
You can't help but let out louder moans when she starts to speed up a little.
Her fingers drive you crazy, it feels like she is everywhere, you feel her everywhere in your body as she exits and enters you.
"P-please jihyo- faster" you moan out, and who would she be if she wouldn't listen to your wishes?
She speeds up her thrusts, kissing down your neck again as her hot breath hits your skin.
Your hand grips the pillow your hand is laying on, moaning against your arm as you can feel Jihyo curling her fingers.
She thrusts into you again before you moan loudly, cumming as your thighs close around her wrist, panting heavily as she lets herself fall onto the spot next to you.
You both stare at the ceiling, the only sounds the heavy breathing from you.
You move her hand to yours and intertwine your fingers. She moves her head to the side to look at you, smiling.
You think seeing her smiling is something you can never get enough of.
-
Idiots in love, thats how you two can be described.
The next few months were full of love. Kisses here, kisses there. It didn't even have to be sexual, no, it was always romantic, no matter what you did together.
After a few months, she gave you a ring.
"One day I'll buy you an expensive, real diamond ring and ask you to marry me," she said, and since then you've both worn the matching rings without taking them off once.
If only it had stayed that way.
It's late at night, you're lying in bed reading a book when you get a message.
"I love you,
I'm sorry" - from Jihyo.
You sit up and stare at your cell phone.
"What's wrong?" you type and send the message, she replies,
"I can't take it anymore"
She can't take it anymore?
You feel a twinge in your head as you suddenly realize something.
It's too similar to Dahyun's goodbye.
"I can't live in this world anymore" she wrote in her text.
You look at her location, and without hesitation you walk, no - storm out of your apartment and run to her.
She's not far away, a bridge situated over a river only 5 minutes away, and you think you've never been so grateful for anything.
You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to see anything while your clothes get wetter and wetter, the rain completly drenches you.
Again it feels like a cliché love drama.
Only maybe this time you have the chance to have a happy ending.
Your legs are burning from all the running as you arrive on the bridge.
"Jihyo!" you shout, the rain pattering loudly on the asphalt, forcing you to shout even louder for her.
Her bike is right next to her, one leg over the railing, her hands gripping it tightly, as if she's...
Scared?
"Y/n?" she answers, her voice low and shaky.
"Please..." you say as you walk slowly towards her.
She doesn't stop you when you take her hand in yours.
"Why didn't you tell me?" you ask, she looks at you as a tear runs down her cheek.
"I-... I didn't want you to worry. I thought this feeling would go away if I didn't talk to anyone about it," she says.
Whether your face is wet from the rain or your tears, you don't know.
"Believe me, you have to talk to me, then it will get better," you say.
Her face comes closer to yours and, without answering, she kisses you.
You kiss her back, try to grab her so you can hold her closer - but she lets go.
Completely.
You slowly open your eyes, afraid of what you will see - but you see nothing.
No one.
The rain completely overwhelms you.
"No..." you whisper, looking down on the floor and picking up something shiny.
Her ring.
You look out over the railing and see the water turning slightly red.
It feels like you're trapped in a vicious circle, like you'll never find peace again.
You are trapped, with no way out.
-
While other people find the rain soothing, you find it to be more like torture.
While other people would stay indoors in weather like this, you're outside again.
Again in front of a grave.
But this time it's Jihyo's.
Everything feels too similar and you hate it more than anything.
"It's not your fault" is a sentence you started to hate.
You hoped so much that you would never have to hear or read it again.
"Why didn't you talk to me..." you whisper, as if she could hear you.
Your hand clutches the letter, it slowly getting soaked by the rain.
You don't dare to move.
"You knew what happened..."
All time does is passing -
"Why did you hide it from me..." Your voice is full of despair.
And all you ever do is grieve.
"Life without you is no way to live" the white flower falls on his grave -
just like her ring,
engraved with your name.
She helped you recover from Dahyun's death.
You just wish you wouldn't have to recover over her death alone now.
In another universe, you've seemed to found your place in Jihyo's arms.
In this universe, you're left alone,
again.
#feeling silly#wlw#twice imagines#twice smut#twice x reader#girl group smut#jihyo#jihyo x reader#jihyo smut#jihyo angst#jihyo fluff#park jihyo#jihyo imagines#jihyo fic#nayeon x reader#jeongyeon x reader#momo x reader#sana x reader#mina x reader#dahyun x reader#chaeyoung x reader#tzuyu x reader#twice angst#twice fluff#tzuyu smut#chaeyoung smut#momo smut#nayeon smut#jeongyeon smut#sana smut
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The Case of the Missing Coat - DoctorRose Bingo
Prompt: "Take My Jacket"
“I’m heading back to the flat. Joining me?” Rose asked. He could hear her voice grow closer as she spoke. Moving his chin toward his chest to take a peek, he could see her sneaker-clad feet standing close to his outstretched legs from where he worked under the console.
“Mm, no. The old girl’s still showing-”
“Yes, yes, save the technical talk. I know an excuse when I hear one,” she said, backing away from him and the console with an exaggerated sigh. “I’ll see ya in a bit, then. Unless you decide to grace Mum and me with your presence earlier than that.”
“I’ll be by at some point. Someone’s gotta pry you from Jackie’s grip or we’d never leave twenty-first London again,” he replied, listening as she moved toward the door. “Take a jacket,” he muttered, remembering the snow drizzling outside—real, honest snow for once.
“Now you sound like Mum,” she taunted. Stilling the sound of her steps for a second to presumably, hopefully, pick up one of her coats or sweaters she’d left tossed over a coral at one point or another recently.
“You doing it?” he asked, cringing as he realized he was only further feeding the comparison. But he really didn’t want her to catch a cold.
“Yes, snug as could be now,” she answered. “Bye.” And with a squeak of the door hinges she was gone.
He resumed his tinkering and tried to get lost in the activity. But it wasn’t too long after that that he found his right leg start to shift about in impatience. He was becoming bored, painfully so. But it was more than that. There was a stillness in the Tardis without the soft sounds that come with having another person around. The comfort that was the faint smell of Rose’s perfume as she passed by him on her way to make tea or model a new outfit she’d discovered in the wardrobe was missing. He was itching to get up and head straight to the flat. He’d put up with any nagging or questions from Jackie just to keep close to Rose.
He really should try to fight it. Create a little distance between them. He was a proper addict. A Rose Tyler addict. He never knew what to do with himself if she wasn’t with him. It had been getting bad before the regeneration, but now it was on a whole new level. Which wasn’t exactly surprising— he’d regenerated to save her and had been reformed with her as the first thing on his mind.
Sighing, he slid out from his spot and stood up. Although he should be resisting, working to build up a tolerance to his inability to be without the presence of Rose for more than a few minutes, he wasn’t about to start that daunting journey today. Plus Jackie was probably making tea.
He was almost out the door when the cold air hit him, making him remember his worrying over Rose. Turning to the side, he grabbed for his coat but found himself palming an empty coral. He always kept it right there by the door. He turned back towards the rest of the console room, still not seeing it.
He tried to remember the last time he had had it on. They hadn’t left the Tardis much in the last few days. It hadn’t been long since Mickey had chosen to stay in that parallel world and Rose had found that she needed a bit of downtime to process that. They’d been back in London quite often recently, mostly because of that. Rose had felt even more guilty about telling Jackie about Mickey. She’d leaned on Mickey the last year more than Rose herself ever had.
He’d tried his best to make her understand that it was Mickey who had decided to stay. But Rose still blamed herself for making him feel like there was nothing left for him here. That he’d be better off in a whole other universe than stay in the same one with her in it.
The Doctor felt just as responsible on that front. Although he didn’t believe that Rose was responsible for Mickey or owed it to him to hang around London, he knew that he’d somewhat taken Mickey’s place in Rose’s life. Not that he could find it anywhere in himself to regret doing so.
Coming back to the matter at hand, he thought back through their recent trips. The last place they had been was a beach. Not exactly a coat-wearing day.
He found himself wandering through the rooms he visited on a frequent basis: the kitchen, galley, the library, his room, and Rose’s. He peeked into the wardrobe room and couldn’t spot it on any of the levels. Ultimately, he wrapped himself in his long-forgotten favorite— that chunky, colorful scarf he once wouldn’t have been caught dead without. Now he hated to be seen in it. He might have still been the same man, but fashion sense varied drastically throughout regenerations.
Making his way back through the Tardis and back to the door, he made quick work of locking the door and shuffling quickly to Rose’s building. Once inside the main doors, he was ready for that nice hot cup of tea more than ever.
When he arrived at the flat, he made quick work of rapping on the wooden door. He was close to peeking in the cat door when the door finally opened. Then he was face to face with Jackie.
“Accessorizing for once in your life, I see,” she snorted, stepping aside to let him come in.
“Have a laugh. I wouldn’t be wearing this if my coat, a gift from the Janis Joplin hadn’t mysteriously disappeared,” he huffed. “Please tell me you’ve made tea?”
“Fresh pot in the kitchen,” she answered, a smirk on her lips as she watched him shiver. “Didn’t have a single other coat in that big box of yours?”
“None that go with this outfit,” he deadpanned.
“You really shouldn’t be running around like that, as skinny as you are. You’ll get sick,” he heard her continue as he made his way through the doorway.
He just hadn’t wanted to take any more time to find one for the short trek. He missed Rose. Who he hoped was in the kitchen he was heading toward to pour himself a cuppa.
He found that she was. And so was his missing coat. Rose was sitting in front of the table, nursing a cup of her own and typing on her mobile. “Mum, Shareen might run over a mo to show me her-” she stopped as she realized she wasn’t talking to Jackie. She gave him a smile, tugging his coat closer around her as she did so, unconsciously. She looked so cozy buried in his coat. In one of his favorite articles of clothing.
“Sooner than I expected you to give in,” she smirked, leaning back in her chair. “Lost without me.”
“You're in my coat,” he found himself stupidly stating.
“Yes, I am,” she grinned. Then she looked him over. He was glad he’d abandoned the scarf on the hook by the door. “You look cold.”
“Well, someone did steal my coat,” he pointed out.
“I did not! You told me to take it! You went on and on. ‘Take my jacket, Rose. It’s so cold out there.’ ” she mimicked.
“I told you to take a jacket, not my jacket. And that-that,” he pointed toward her, “Is not a jacket. That is a coat!”
“Same thing,” she shrugged as he shook his head fondly. “So do you want it back? Because I’m rather comfy to tell you the truth. Like getting a never-ending hug from you,” she said, huddling deeper into the coat, all while giving him a cheeky grin that made him swallow. She knew how to play him. How to do him in.
“You don’t play fair,” he said, pointing again as Jackie made her way back into the room.
“She never has,” she murmured, smiling to herself as she poured the Doctor a cup of the tea he’d forgotten about the second he’d laid eyes on Rose. She seemed to always lead to him losing track of his mind.
With his new cup of tea, he sat down next to Rose, watching her as she spoke about Shareen and Keisha and then stories from their recent adventures. He watched her walk around the flat in his coat and then watched her drag the back of it through the snow when they eventually made their way back to the Tardis— him shivering in his silly scarf and her toasty in his big brown coat.
And if he leaned into her just a little more than strictly necessary on the walk back, wrapping an arm around her waist and shoving a hand into one of the pockets, then that was simply to try and stay warm as well.
AO3 account: kcchameleon
AO3 story link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54042067
#doctorrosebingor2#@doctorrosebingo#fanfiction#doctor who#doctor who fanfiction#writing prompt#doctor x rose#tenrose#tenrose fanfic#tenth doctor#rose tyler
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[Please Read] I should not have to explain this
People, if you're going to chat with me, please, for the love of god, tell me your honest age. And don't lie, either, cause that's just worse in some ways.
Ok, so, I wound up chatting with somebody who I will not specify by as much as I can. We were having a cardiophile chat and we decided to take it to video so I can hear her heartbeat with a mic. Now, the thing is, I feel incredibly stupid right now. I mention wanting to see her chest, but only out of the expression of a wish cause I know a lot of people aren't always comfortable. To my surprise, she says yes and, her face, I won't give a single detail about especially of what made me tilt my head a bit but something made me think, 'wait, how old is this girl?' only to settle on the idea of, 'oh, maybe she's older than she looks', and for the love of god, I don't think that lightly, I had a reason to think that. Later she goes brb. She admits her parents caught her.
Jesus- alright, read carefully, yeah? I'm not gonna shift or place any full-on blame. At least by a little bit, this girl was the victim of being young and dumb, however she should not have done anything that would expose her identity or herself. And admittedly, I was stupid for not seeing the first potential sign. Don't ever even slightly think you could be wrong if it could mean the person on the other end is actually under 18. This girl never explicitly gave a sign or hint that she was underage, either, but that's not always a good excuse. Meanwhile, last I had a chat, I unintentionally made somebody uncomfortable as far as I can tell and I felt so guilty that I took a small break to sit on what I had made somebody feel. I finally get back into the swing of things with a new rule of only having a cardio-chat if somebody messages me first and this is what happens. I was really wrestling on how or even if I should post about this, but one thing I realized was that not saying a thing is probably worse.
I won't take another break for being just as foolish but I'm definitely gonna sit on this for a minute. I hate how it took me a minute to accept that she was a minor. I found myself thinking of every possible reason to tell me she was actually an adult at first, including if I should not think about it at all.
Again, for god's sake, be honest, responsible and tell your age first. I will not chat with minors. I will, however, post this under the risk that I'm not relaying my sincerity well enough (That's really one of my biggest fears when making a post like this, that I won't be able to verbally explain and show that I'm legit being serious and not trying to cover my own ass with a fake sense of remorse or something - but it's a fear we all have to face). I don't wanna look like a liar or like I'm shifting the blame or anything. But my final message in this post is about more than about taking responsibility for your actions and to tell me your real age before chatting with me or frankly, anybody: People who are growing up need to know that it's ok to explore and experiment, it's part of growing up, and of course it's fun - Hell, even I did it a little, I wasn't always an adult, you know, it's how I found the rest of my rhythm as a cardiophile - but Jesus H. Christ, we need to educate and teach them that there are lines to draw, like, don't chat with strangers - especially on anything sexual, be careful, make sure they know which lines not to cross or cross yet, and seriously: DO. NOT. SHOW. YOUR. FACE. The internet isn't the safest place yet. What's more important? How hard you drive the message home or what you relay and how you do it?
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Living Dangerously - Chapter 30
Jurassic Park’s animal handlers: none of them ever mentioned by name in Michael Crichton’s original novel. Who were they? What were their lives like on Isla Nublar? Did any of them survive the disaster?
A year in the life of those responsible for the care of the dinosaurs. Many people would kill to have their jobs.
But would they die for it?
Jurassic Park novel/Jurassic Park film (1993)
Viewpoint: 3rd person female oc
Warnings: some swears, harassment and misogyny in the workplace
Tagging: @heresthefanfiction @ocappreciation @wordspin-shares @howlingmadlady @arrthurpendragon @themaradwrites @starryeyes2000 @kmc1989 (please lmk if you would like informed of my sporadic updates)
Read on Ao3
Chapter 29 | Chapter 31
I Hate Myself for Loving You - Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
It turned out be a different sort of sleepless night to what Lizzy had been hoping for.
The wrong kind.
She had lain awake for what few hours remained until morning, tossing, turning, occasionally weeping. Any sleep she managed to grasp was fitful, feeling like it only lasted a few seconds at a time.
She kept replaying what had happened in the clearing, each time a little more painful. Wondering how she could have behaved differently. How it could have turned out better than this unbearable limbo in which she didn't know where she stood anymore. Whether she'd just forever destroyed one of the best professional relationships she'd ever had.
It was all her fault, of course it was.
Why did she keep doing this? It felt eerily similar to the last time she’d engaged without thinking of the consequences. It had nearly ruined someone else’s life back then, as well as her own. History was repeating itself, and she only had herself to blame.
And now, once again, she had to live with the uncomfortable reality. She’d argue that it clearly wasn’t taking advantage from either side, in fact Lizzy would be bold enough to say they were both very much in agreement. But InGen’s legal department probably wouldn’t see it the same way.
Admit it, girl. You fucked up.
Dawn came, and she finally forced herself to get out of bed and pretend to be human. She should be looking forward to going out into the park again and seeing her animals, now that she wasn’t alone and it was relatively safe to do so, but she was dreading it. Unsure what she’d do when she inevitably bumped into Muldoon again.
Pretend it never happened or meet him head on?
I don’t think I have it in me this time.
She was in the canteen, laying low, listlessly poking at her scrambled eggs with a fork. Lizzy had cooked them herself, but they were far from her usual standard and didn't taste of anything other than disappointment.
She heard the familiar Jeep engine outside, and the shower of gravel as it ground to a halt. Lizzy shrunk down in her chair, staring at her plate in dread.
I’m better at breakfast.
Be the one to wake me up in the morning.
God, why did I do it?
At least the coffee was worth leaving her room for.
It was the first thing Muldoon noticed as soon as he walked in. She hadn’t brought one over for him, like she usually did. Message received, loud and clear.
The one small act she did for him almost every day, and he hadn’t even appreciated it properly until it had stopped. That was enough to get him to talk first. Armstrong did something when she made coffee. Invoked a higher power. Witchcraft. Somehow she always got it exactly right.
This wouldn’t do at all.
“Good morning.”
“It is?” She replied dully, glancing up with red-rimmed eyes. “Doesn’t feel like it.”
“You’re late for work.” He pointed out. “How are you doing?”
“Well, that’s a kick in the teeth.” She muttered. “But, if you’re genuinely asking? Annoyed. No, that’s not right. Vexed? Hm. Frustrated. Mostly at myself.”
“Armstrong-“ Muldoon awkwardly stood in front of her. “I probably owe you an explanation.”
“No need. I thought you made it pretty clear, actually.” She felt the sting of rejection anew. It was more painful than she’d reckoned to talk about it. “You don’t owe me squat.”
“I could have handled things better.” He pulled out a chair to sit opposite her. “It all happened rather quickly.”
“You were handling things just fine.” Lizzy gave up on her eggs, pushing her plate away before sitting back and folding her arms. “What changed?”
What exactly had changed? It was hard to explain, but what it came down to was-
“Too fast."
She blinked, confused. ”Say again?”
Muldoon wished more than anything that Baker was around to keep him on the right track, guide him with what to say.
”…moving too fast.”
”Well, thanks for the clarification.” Lizzy replied dryly. “And that’s…bad?”
It was, it didn’t feel right, to be suddenly rushing matters in the dark. Outside…fair enough, but in the back of a bloody Jeep?!
Or maybe on the bonnet of his Jeep-
No, stop that.
He wasn’t sure quite what had happened, but he’d forgotten his responsibilities. Keep her safe. And risking her career for the sake of one night together did not fall into that bracket. No matter how strongly he felt.
How he felt didn’t matter. Hadn’t mattered for a long time.
“Don’t want one and done.” He tried to explain, despite the relentless stare from the other side of the table. “Can’t do it.”
Not with her. Everything or nothing at all. Anything else would never be enough. He was trying to voice that sentiment out loud, but he didn’t have the words. He barely had the syllables.
“It’s not right, either. We already knew that.“ Muldoon gave up. She’d have to trust him, he was doing his best. If she could still trust him. ”Does that help, at all?”
“Yes…” Then her face crumpled.
He looked at her closely. ”Are you lying to me?”
”Yes!” It all came pouring out in a high-pitched hurry. “You’ve been mad at me before and I’ve understood why. But, after, and when we were driving back-…I couldn’t read you, at all!”
Lizzy put her head in her hands and mumbled something beyond his range of hearing.
She thought he was angry with her? That’s what she was most upset about?
Muldoon reached out and gently but firmly pulled her hand away from her mouth.
”Again, please.”
”…really thought I’d lost you.” She whispered.
“Well, you certainly have a flair for the dramatic, Lizzy.” He kept hold of her hand, she let him.
”Are you implying I’m overreacting?” She choked out. “Because women love that.”
”To be clear, I’m not mad at you. I’ve never once been mad at you.”
”Are you sure?”
“Positive. Annoyed, maybe. Vexed? Once or twice.” Lizzy groaned when she realised what he was doing. “Frustrated…you get the idea.”
”Oh, that’s not fair.” She muttered.
“But I’d find it very hard to live with, if you were dismissed because of something I did. Or might possibly do, if we were to, er-…” He looked uncomfortable. “-you know.”
"Suppose that’s a good point. Damn you for being so rational. I love my job.” She glanced up. “The people, eh...."
"Indeed, people are awful. Most people, at any rate." He quietly agreed. "This island would be bloody idyllic if we weren't going to be overrun by guests in a few short months.”
“So, where do we go from here?” Lizzy was already dreading the answer.
“I don’t think…we are going anywhere. You and I-" Muldoon looked resigned. "-have to carry on as before.”
“Like nothing ever happened?”
”I’m afraid so. Strictly professional.”
“But that’s not what I want.” May as well say it.
“Nor me.” Lizzy wondered if him tracing circles on the back of her hand was conscious or otherwise. “But it’s what we have to do.”
Sobriety would be a distant memory if he was responsible for ruining her career.
“Still the funniest story I’ve ever heard.” She muttered after a few moments, breaking the tension.
“Good.” Her laugh. That ridiculous laugh that he couldn’t stop thinking about. “That’ll keep me going for a while.”
Lizzy nodded and managed a wonky smile. She felt like crying again, it seemed horribly like saying a goodbye. "We'll be okay, right?"
"I don't even want to imagine the alternative."
This is the right choice. This is the right choice. This is the right choice.
Doesn't feel right. Feels bloody awful.
Lizzy tilted her head, pushing her body towards him, her candour returning. “Did you like it, though?”
”Excuse me?” He had to have misheard, but the mischief in her expression was telling him otherwise.
”You heard. Did you-“
A noise from the doorway startled them both. Muldoon dropped her hand quick as a flash, Lizzy tried not to let her face fall in dismay.
Kathy Baker was clattering into the canteen, struggling yet again with her bag, which looked even heavier than when she’d left before Christmas.
“Found you, finally!” Kathy called and waved. "Oh, hey, you came back early! What gives?"
“Nothing.” In a role reversal, Muldoon quickly answered for them both, while Lizzy was the one who baulked.
“O-kay…jeez, answer faster.” Kathy gave up on her bag and abandoned it at the door, clumping over to their table, still in her winter boots. “Girl, before you ask, yes, I got the goods. Here, you’re welcome.”
She passed Lizzy a box of liquorice which was met with a pleased but slightly frantic ‘ooh!’.
“Have you been crying?” Kathy asked her matter-of-factly.
“Just allergies.” Lizzy sniffed and wiped her eyes, looking at the floor.
“Uh-huh...” Kathy darted a quick glance at Muldoon, before drumming her recently manicured nails on the back of a chair, building up. "This is kinda perfect actually. I wanted to tell you two first out of everyone, obviously, but not over the phone. I, uh...I have some news."
The way she was avoiding eye contact with both of them, Lizzy could guess what it was. She quickly forced a smile. "You got the job?"
"Yeah, I got the job..." Kathy tried her best to look dismayed, before the grin burst through and she bounced on her tiptoes. "Guys, I got the job!"
Lizzy scrambled up to congratulate, quelling the geyser of rage, dread and panic that was bubbling up inside, feigning happiness for her friend. “What’d I tell you? You’re incredible!”
”I know, I’m kind of a big deal!” Kathy giggled, squeezing her tight. “First woman to ever hold the post in the history of the Smithsonian! I’m gonna have an office! I don’t have to work weekends anymore! I’m gonna have a life!”
“Alright for some.” Muldoon wasn’t so enthused.
Kathy broke away from Lizzy, hands on her hips. “Go on then, let me have it.”
"Well done. Knew you’d get it."
Lizzy shook her head. Damn man was proud as Hell, just doing his stubborn best not to show it.
“It’s not the end of the world, I’ll be here for a while, until you can find my replacement.” Kathy pointed down at the top of Lizzy’s head and stage whispered pick her.
“How long have I got?”
”Until August. “I can hang in there until August, right? What could go wrong before then?” Kathy laughed nervously then abruptly stopped at the alarmed look they both gave her.
“Plenty.” Muldoon huffed.
Lizzy agreed with him. ”Best not to answer that.”
***
Kathy wasn’t the only one who brought Lizzy dessert as a souvenir on their return.
Rico, the youngest but not least talented member the Carnivore Team was making his way towards her brandishing a Paupério tin that was far too dented and discoloured to be new. This looked promising unless, God forbid, it turned out to contain a sewing kit. Lizzy had been burned before.
“For you!” He was calling to her as he jogged along.
Her face lit up at the sight. “That looks homemade, boy. Tell me it’s homemade.”
Rico caught up, handing her the tin. “From my mama, for you.”
“You really didn’t have to…” Lizzy tried to remain polite though she was dying to rip the lid off and tuck in. Dinner time was still achingly far away.
“Yes I did. She made me swear I wouldn’t touch any.”
Have you been making friends, niño?
I have, at least one.
The strange Scottish lady was always nice to him, even if she was scarily forthright at times, and it had taken Rico a couple of weeks to figure out that she used certain rude words not as insults, but as terms of endearment.
“I’ve got good cigarros too if you want one, but don’t tell mama about those.” He tapped the side of his nose.
“Have you done something bad?” Lizzy asked warily. “I’m not being funny, but this is too much-“
“It’s just a thank you. You look out for me.” Rico said simply. “It was rough, at the start, but you wouldn’t let me stay in my room alone. I hated it at first, when you dragged me out all the time, but I know why you did it.”
His shoulders drooped. “When I can’t remember the word for something, you don’t make fun of me. The other guys still do, sometimes.”
Lizzy hadn’t really thought about it before. But he was around the same age as her brothers. And it was true, his English hadn’t been the best at the beginning. She knew all to well what it was like to be the outsider, not being confident to chip in when everyone else spoke a different language to you. She hadn’t wanted the youngest member of the team to feel left out or worthless.
The boy was good. Not long left school and already working for InGen? He was going places.
Rico was somewhat of a phenomenon. He was quiet and thoughtful, introverted, but he had a way with the dinosaurs that Lizzy was envious of. Even the most timid of creatures could be coaxed forward by Rico. He was just good at it. Something about how he spoke to them, how he moved, he had a calming influence.
People had their favourite animals, and the reverse was equally true. The dinosaurs just liked him, most were comfortable being around him.
It had made other people jealous, some who weren’t as happy to just shut up and deal with it as Lizzy was. She had even considered asking Muldoon if Rico could become a handler for the infant raptor. He would be good for her, she was certain.
“It’s just banter.” She reassured. That was true enough, but one or two of the guys had a bad habit of pushing it into cruel territory. Words needed to be had. “Although Tom really is an arse. Don’t ever listen to him.”
She resisted the urge to ruffle Rico’s hair, like an unbearable aunt. He’s a grown man. He’s taller than you.
But he had such a baby face she couldn’t help but want to look after him. Maybe it was guilt. She missed her brothers by far the most out of all her siblings. It had been so long since she’d seen them.
“What would I do without you, kid?” She glanced down at the tin gratefully. “And your mother’s baking. Seriously, she could sell these.”
“You won’t ever find out.” He sidled closer, looking like he was getting ready to tell her a secret. “Listen, I want to see Africa. The Africa you and the boss talk about. See a wild elephant.”
“All these dinosaurs right here and you want to see an elephant?” She couldn’t help but smile.
He laughed. “A wild elephant. Just promise you’ll take me along, next time you go, yes?”
”Sure. I might know somebody who could give you the tour.” Unable to resist any longer, Lizzy started breaking open the tin and she nearly teared up at how delicious the contents smelled. “Oh my God. Can you bring your mum too?”
He seemed to seriously consider it before nodding. “I’ll ask her?”
***
“Hey!" Later that day Kathy sneaked up behind her and tapped Lizzy on the shoulder. “Got a bone to pick with you.”
The old reliable Baker intuition was yelling loudly in her head, yet again. Niggling in her thoughts for several days. She couldn’t ignore it any longer. Kathy pointed a finger in accusation at her friend and cried triumphantly:
”You got laid!”
“What?!” Lizzy's eyes darted back and forth. "Shhhh!"
"You did!" Kathy gasped. "Oh my God, you did!"
”I did not!” Lizzy made a grab for her friend, trying to clamp a hand over her mouth, something, anything to stop her. “What the Hell, Kathy?”
“You’re, I dunno-“ The Team Leader wriggled free and shrugged, unconvinced. “-different?”
“Yeah, well. You’re wrong. Nothing happened at New Year.” Lizzy insisted. “Ro-uh…Muldoon and I went out for a drive, that was all.”
The at least partly true white lie that both of them had discussed and agreed on together.
“Who said anything about New Year?” Kathy raised an eyebrow.
“You…did?” Lizzy stalled helplessly.
“I didn’t mention Muldoon, either. That’s where your mind went though, huh?”
”Er-“ Lizzy started to panic.
”He came back early, to check you were okay, you were all alone here for a whole night and- oh, don’t give me that look! And ‘nothing happened’?” Kathy was still sceptical. “Yeah, right!”
She recalled the moment she had first suspected things may have changed between them. She peeked through the window just before she’d entered the canteen, nearly screamed in exhilaration and then saw how quickly Muldoon dropped Lizzy’s hand when he heard the door opening. Like a hot potato. Her heart had dropped just as quickly, and she caught the noise ready to burst forth from her throat in the nick of time.
Whatever had been going on, she clearly wasn’t meant to see.
“Cross my heart.”
”Really? Nothing?” Kathy was still crestfallen. “You finally had the island to yourselves, and nothing at all?”
Lizzy considered how he had made her laugh harder than she had laughed in a long time, maybe even in her whole life. A moment that regardless of whatever happened between them now, she’d likely remember until the end of her days.
Kathy was looking at her expectantly, while Lizzy’s memory was a mile or so away, in her favourite place in the park, with the stars above and the Rex rumbling away like a purring cat as the fire crackled.
”Well, not exactly nothing at all.” Lizzy’s mouth finally curved into a smile. “But if I told you, you’d probably never believe me.”
***
”Regis, why is my Jeep boxed in?”
”Uh…sorry Muldoon, I’m losing you-crrrhhhsshshhh.” The group of animal handlers all saw Ed discretely switch his radio off with a loud click.
A couple of weeks into January, New Year a distant memory, but Lizzy’s stomach still flipped whenever she heard the park warden’s voice. Carrying on as normal was working, for the most part. But she couldn’t simply forget and move on. Feelings don’t just go away, you only adapt to get better at dealing with them over time. If you’re lucky.
Fortunately, a welcome distraction was in progress. Preparations were underway for an official event on the island. The front of the visitor centre was positively bustling.
"Thought they weren't opening the park until the autumn?" Lizzy critically eyed the deliveries that were turning up left, right and centre. The supply boat that morning had been sitting much lower in the water than usual.
"These are investors, idiot. They aren't guests. They need to see we’ve made good use of their money, so that they give us more!" Tom flicked her ear for emphasis, causing Lizzy to take a swipe at him, which he dodged easily. "Or we’re screwed. So Eddie’s gotta get his nose right in there."
"I don’t think they’ve ordered enough stuff.” When she turned back to look again, Lizzy could have sworn the number of boxes had somehow tripled.
”You’re doing a great job, buddy. Keep it up!” Tom yelled over to Regis, whose neck quickly turned red under his freckles.
“Don’t call me buddy!”
“Would you stop?” Lizzy elbowed him. “One of these days, he will throw something at you.”
”Hope it’s not gonna be valuable, cos it won’t have my good self to cushion the blow. He’ll miss.” His self-assurance was still grating.
”Wanna bet?” Lizzy remembered Trenton Thunder. “Baseball nut over there.”
”So Daddy played catch with him, big whoop.” Tom replied, grinding out his cigarette with his boot heel.
“Can you guys make yourselves useful and keep an eye out for the ice sculpture arriving?” Regis trotted over to them. “I gotta go do a thing…”
”Yeah, sure. We basically get paid to stand around, anyway.” Kathy replied cheerfully.
“This event-“ Lizzy queried. “-are we invited?"
”Absolutely not.” Regis denied. “In fact, you in particular are barred, Armstrong, for obvious reasons.”
”Aw, Ed!” She feigned upset. “You know that just makes me want to go even more!”
“Ain’t gonna happen, Liz.” Regis carefully pulled a transparent plastic garment bag out of a box full of packing peanuts. It contained a very short, very red cocktail dress. “So quit asking.”
“That’s gonna clash with your hair.” Tom pointed out.
”It’s for María!” Regis snarled back at him.
“That’s not fair! Why does she get to go? You have catering staff flying over.” Lizzy was still on his case.
Ed gave her a lopsided grin. ”Eye candy.”
”Huh?” Lizzy and Kathy said in unison, shooting each other confused glances.
“Okay, I see what happens.” Tom stepped forward. “Let me paint a picture for you, girls. You’ve got a lot of rich, lonely, powerful men in a room together, far away from their wives and mistresses, trying to prove who’s got the biggest dick. You need a little entertainment. Something pretty to look at. Grease the wheels.”
Regis clicked his fingers. “Bingo.”
“Oh, that’s disgusting. That’s disgusting.” Kathy was horrified.
“Nobody touch anything.” Off Ed Regis went, garment bag slung over his shoulder. Presumably to find the unwilling future occupant of the dress.
"Team Meeting, now.” Lizzy announced.
The eight animal handlers huddled.
”I move that we do something. I want to find out where all their money's going. Because it sure as Hell isn't on the animals. Or us. Y’know, the people who actually do the work.” Lizzy's expression became stormy. "They're going to take advantage of her. And Ed's going to sit back, drink his lite beer, and watch it happen."
"In another win for human evolution, public relations manager achieves upright stance sans spinal column." Kathy muttered dryly.
“That’s cold, Kit.” Tom sounded impressed. “Attagirl, you’ll be as cynical as Liz and I by the time you leave this place.”
“Well, she has a point!” The Team Leader gestured. “We can’t leave María there alone. They’ll eat her alive.”
"So you agree?" Lizzy jumped on her chance. “I’m commandeering the situation?”
"Girl..." Kathy shook her head. "Girl, he's gonna kill you...getting involved…”
"I can handle Ed." Lizzy said confidently.
"Ed's not the one I was talking about, sweetie.”
“We’re gonna see Liz in a dress? Looking like an actual woman?” Tom smirked at her expression full of disgust. "Hey, you gotta. It’s a formal. You’ll need something that doesn't scream 'I shovel crap for a living'."
”Oh sure, let me just go pick one of my many ballgowns out of the wardrobe.” Lizzy gestured from her flyaway head to her mud-caked boots. "Are you blind?"
”You and María are about the same height. You wouldn’t look terrible in red, if it’s low lighting-“
”Jeez, Tom! Stop encouraging her!” Kathy moaned. “This is a terrible idea.”
“As much as I hate to admit she’s right, better Liz than María.” The Texan stuck to his guns. “And you know it, Kit.”
“That’s settled then. All in favour?” Lizzy called the vote.
Six ayes were heard from the men before they looked to the Carnivore Leader for her choice. But she still hesitated.
Come on, girl.
The seconds ticked by. Tom smirked confidentially at Lizzy before asking loudly: “Kit, you wanna go grab Ed that cappuccino, or what?”
“Oh, I’m so gonna regret this.” Kathy wearily nodded. “You win.”
***
God, I'm starving.
Lizzy had poured herself into the tiny cocktail dress meant for Maria, far more petite and less muscular than she was. The Haitian was more than happy to be relieved of her duties for the evening, kissing Lizzy on both cheeks before practically flinging the dress in the ethologist’s direction and gliding away down the corridor to do God-knew-what. Watering the plastic plants, probably.
The cheap fabric was working particularly hard underneath her arms and around the tops of her thighs. As well as doing hair and make-up, Kathy had reluctantly helped pile her into the nightmare dress and zip her up. She felt like an overstuffed sausage, and already had blisters forming from the high heels, rubbing her feet raw as she shuffled around with tiny steps.
But the place Lizzy felt most under-dressed was on her left hand.
She wished she’d had the foresight to put her engagement ring back on, which she still hadn’t found the willpower to shove in an envelope and send back to Simon. At least it would offer some protection for a few hours.
Lizzy looked around the room. String quartet, ice sculpture, flowers everywhere…the opulence of it made her feel uneasy.
She had a flashback to her apartment in the States, something Simon had divulged while complaining about a flamboyantly rich but cantankerous client as they were unpacking groceries together.
Very rich people didn’t show off how much money they had. They didn’t have to. They tended to be quietly generous and classy about it. People who acted like they were still trying to prove something, they might be well-off, but they weren’t rich rich.
Lizzy herself had fallen for it in the beginning, but as time went on, increasingly often she began to suspect that Hammond was the latter. Everything for show. Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.
She caught sight of the man himself in the corner of her eye, amber-topped cane in hand, and remembered the reason she was enduring such torture in the first place. To secure better care, more money specifically for the dinosaurs. Lizzy tottered over, tugging the hem of her dress down as she approached.
“John?”
He turned and looked at her blankly. She knew what he was thinking. You weren’t on the guest list.
”It’s me, Lizzy.” She could forgive him a few moments hesitation, she’d probably never worn this much make-up in her life.
“Lizzy?”
She began to get annoyed. What happened to ‘my dear old granny was a Lizzy’? Anyway, she’d always considered herself fairly memorable.
This was not a good start.
“Doctor Armstrong? From Namibia?” She gestured helplessly, at a loss for what else she could say to jog his memory. “The ethologist.”
“It’s Mr Hammond, tonight, dear. If you don’t mind.”
“Alright-“
“I’m fairly busy, I’m afraid. Why don’t you go and mingle? We’ll catch up later.”
“Wait, no-“ Lizzy knew well enough that there most likely wouldn’t be a later.
“Please, Miss Armstrong. Another time.” And he gently took her arm and guided her away, leaving her all alone, facing the wall as he resumed his conversation.
Not quite sure how she had lost her hold on the situation, Lizzy vowed to try a different tactic. As she was busy scanning the rest of the venue for anyone who might be worth talking to, she didn’t notice one of the businessmen swanning over to her, until it was too late to get away.
“Where’s Hammond been hiding this one, then?” American. Mid-West. Sweating profusely. “Forget the ice sculpture, why didn’t they just put you up on the table?”
Lizzy recoiled. “I’m a scientist.”
“Ah, she’s funny too. Not dressed like that, you aren’t.”
Lizzy really wasn’t a fan of being referred to in the third person.
”Really, she’s a PhD.” She flushed in anger. “She studies animal behaviour.”
And you’re behaving like an animal.
”Wait-“ He pointed at her face, closely scrutinising. “-I know you from somewhere-“
Not again.
In yet another event from her past that occasionally came back to haunt her, Lizzy had undertaken a couple of modelling jobs as a first-year student at NYU.
Nothing big. One or two jobs for the campus magazine, then it had kind of snowballed. She didn’t even know what some of the photographs were ultimately used for. But her face, and the rest of her, was definitely in print for something other than behavioural research. It offered a few extra dollars here and there, until Simon had asked her to stop, telling her she didn't have to worry about money now she was with him. She'd obliged, but it had been kind of fun, at the time.
It happened more than once in New York, sometimes a stranger, usually an older man, most likely on the subway would give her a funny look. She’d know exactly why, and she’d huddle closer to Simon and try not to make eye contact before they reached their stop.
New York and a tiny Costa Rican island, it seemed. Just her luck.
”No, you don’t!” She insisted and turned to leave, but he grabbed her wrist and she had no choice but to turn to face him to keep herself from toppling over in her high heels.
”How much-“
His grip hurt. Lizzy looked around in panic, searching for Ed Regis in the crowd. She didn’t want to make a scene, but if there was no other choice…Ed would help her, right?
Right?!
“Hey, back off, pal. The only one who gets to talk down to her is me.”
From somewhere close behind her came the low Southern drawl she both looked forward to and dreaded equally. The voice she hated being on the wrong side of, the one that meant trouble, had antagonised her time and time again. And she’d never been so glad to hear it defending her.
Tom’s hulking frame cast a long shadow over both Lizzy and the strange man who was intent on getting to know her better.
“Look, here-“ The investor was bristling at the intrusion.
”Move along, now, buddy.” Tom gave him a firm pat on the shoulder, a little bit harder than was polite or necessary, but not enough to get him into trouble. “Trust me, you don’t wanna find out the price for this one. It’s measured in rounds, and I don’t mean at the bar.”
The stranger grunted unhappily and finally beat it, avoiding looking Lizzy in the eye.
She relaxed slightly, her hands trembling. The smell of old cigarette smoke and cheap aftershave had never been so reassuring.
“About damn time.” She tried to act breezy, but the words sounded forced. Lizzy was more shaken than she'd care to admit. She glanced down at her wrist, red finger marks already burned harshly into her skin. Shit.
”Ma’am.” Tom tipped the brim of his stetson towards her without the slightest trace of irony. He had gone all out for the occasion, wearing a bolo tie, white shirt, dress jeans with a big belt buckle and leather boots. A real-life cowboy.
Lizzy cleared her throat, trying to restore her bravado. “Didn’t know there was a fancy dress shop on the island. Where’s your tinfoil sheriff’s badge?”
“You get straight to Hell. This is my good stetson. I’ve not worn this baby since prom night.” He flicked the rim. “You realise how privileged you are, getting to see me in my good stetson, right?”
”You have more than one?” She stifled a giggle. “Didn’t know you moonlighted as a Village Person.”
“You like a man in a hat.” He winked at her disarmingly, and her steel nerve buckled.
”Piss off.” She muttered weakly.
"There it is." Tom grinned in satisfaction. “On that note, what has your man got to say about you hitting the town, all dressed up?”
“Not my man, what are you on about…”
“Ah, I see. He still doesn’t know, huh?” He shook his head, tutting. “You are in so much shit.”
“I do what I like.” Lizzy scowled. “Although I don’t like this. Quite literally taking one for the team.”
“You scrub up pretty nice.” He gave her a sly look. “Trim your moustache, did ya?”
“Ha!”
At the other end of the room, Lizzy spied Regis’ ginger head, still wearing his ever-present baseball cap (seriously, at a black tie?), jerk upright at the noise she’d just made. Lizzy quickly turned it into a cough.
“Insults aside, glad you’re here.” She meant it. "Dickhead.”
She meant that too.
”Save it.” Tom grumbled. “I just didn’t wanna miss the look on Ed’s face when he sees you of all people gatecrashed his fancy event.”
“Keep telling yourself that, mate.” She didn't mind anymore whether he hated her or cared for her. It was a blurry line at the best of times. But she mattered to him, in some way, that much she knew and was grateful for. If he hadn’t intervened when he did…
One way or another, it would have gotten messy.
“How’s An Audience With Hammond going?” He interrupted her thoughts.
”It’s not.” She told him about how she had failed miserably at her mission. “I am very low priority on his list of people to schmooze tonight.”
Tom was eyeing up a tray of glasses making it’s way past them. “In that case, when in Rome-“
She scoffed. “Beginning to see the real reason you’re here…”
“They don’t got bourbon?” Tom grumbled at the sparse choice of red or white. “I hate wine.”
“The single malt is for much, much later this evening-“ The waiter somehow managed to look down his nose at the taller man. “-sir.”
”You’ll get what you’re given.” Lizzy took a glass of each colour and handed him the white. “It’s free.”
”How about a toast?” Tom sardonically eyed the blue InGen banner hung over the door, company slogan in italics beneath the ever-present logo. “To…Making Our Future.”
”Spare no expense!”
They clinked their glasses.
“Hell with it. Let’s pound as much of this food as we can before they throw us out.”
”That-“ Lizzy waved over a tray of canapes. “-is the best idea you’ve had in weeks.”
***
“He was talking so fast, I couldn’t keep up, and he said Hammond personally asked him to make it happen!” Rico was hurriedly trying to explain as he stumbled into the control room after the park warden. “To show the investors.”
”That may be true.” Muldoon was barely keeping his anger in check. “But there’s a very good reason we stay away from that animal.”
”Not all of us.” Arnold added loudly as he blew smoke upwards, causing Muldoon to shoot him a venomous look.
“I sincerely apologise, boss.” Rico continued, visibly trembling in fear. “H-how can I make this right?”
”Just stay out of the bloody way. Something like that, you really should have checked.” He dismissed him with a wave of his hand before shouting “Where’s Baker?!”
“Here, I’m here!” Kathy popped up from behind a console. “Ray called me, we’re watching her now. They weren’t kidding, she’s fast.”
Rico went mute, eyes downcast, he took the opportunity to slip out of the control room like a shadow while everyone else was bustling around. Nobody noticed.
Muldoon moved around to look at the screen beside his colleagues. “Arnold, can you send out an alarm?”
”Manually.”
”That doesn't sound very efficient?"
“It ain't. As in, I’m going to have to go check the manual.” Arnold looked at him pointedly, cigarette dangling. “Or you can just grab a radio and alarm everyone all by yourself.”
”You’ve got to be joking.” Muldoon ground out. “There’s no system in place?”
“Looks that way.”
Meanwhile, Kathy was wringing her hands. All the procedures she’d gone over in her head. All her studying of emergency exits, muster points and evacuation routes. All her carefully constructed contingency plans and she still wasn’t ready for this.
“What are you going to do?” She hesitantly asked.
“What’s required.” Muldoon was looking for the key to the locker in his office. “Don’t interfere.”
Kathy solemnly nodded. “In that case, what do you need?”
“I need my best shot, for backup.” He grabbed his radio. ”Kennedy, come in.”
No response.
”If anyone can see Kennedy, pass him a radio, now.”
No answer.
What a mess.
Muldoon conducted a quick head count. Only six animal handlers present. Baker-Esteves-Harris-O’Reilly-Palmer-Yamada-
Another was unaccounted for.
“Baker, where’s Armstrong?”
”Er…”
Oh, balls.
Muldoon impatiently took her by the shoulders. “Is she indoors, yes or no?”
”Yes, definitely.” No way would Lizzy be seen in that dress anywhere outside the function room. “Unless-“
His eyes narrowed. “Baker, it’s important for your lifespan that you tell me exactly where she is.”
Arnold had momentarily stopped typing, holding his breath.
“She’s with Tom. If he smokes, she usually goes too.” Kathy confessed nervously. “I mean, they could be outside?”
***
”Nah, you’re doing it wrong. No chewing, you’ll be there forever. Down in one, like this-“ Tom was trying to show her how to handle an oyster.
Lizzy stared at the cold shell in her palm, the corners of her mouth downturned. ”Tom, it’s looking at me.”
She’d eaten far more questionable things in her lifetime. But this was turning out to be her Everest.
”Ah, forget it. These ones are just okay, need some tabasco.” He took the offending mollusc from her and swiftly dealt with it. “Better barbecued fresh, out on the water.”
“If you say so.” Lizzy wasn’t convinced. Sub-par oysters, she’d rather not take the chance. Yet more cracks were appearing in the InGen foundations.
A very familiar silhouette caught her eye, making his way through the crowd to their secret corner of the room with purpose. He’d clearly spotted Tom’s stetson from the doorway.
“Uh-oh, busted.” Lizzy whispered as Muldoon drew level with them both.
“Kennedy. With me, now.”
Lizzy tutted. He was clearly dismissing her as ‘just some girl’ Regis had flown in for the night that Tom had decided to try his luck with. It must have been the heels giving her an extra couple of inches that was throwing him off.
“Tom, I think you’ve pulled.” Lizzy nudged his arm.
Muldoon did a double take at the familiar voice, only recognising who she was the second time around.
“Oh Christ, it’s you.” He frowned. “What’s happened to your face?”
“Rude.”
“Don’t like it.” He was looking her up and down in disbelief. ”And I can bloody well see what you had for dinner-“
“Stop staring at me.” Lizzy hissed through gritted teeth. “Surprise, I do in fact have a waist under the tattie cloths they pass off as uniforms.”
“Of course. Your waist is what’s drawing the eye.”
He wasn’t at all a fan of the look, but he still couldn’t drag his gaze away from her with everything…pushed up like that.
”Aw, Jesus.” Tom seemed genuinely upset. “Not cool, boss.”
”Why are you two in here, anyway, without your radios on?” Muldoon recalled the memo Regis had flashed around about keeping a certain animal handler away from the event at all costs. “No, never mind. I don’t actually care.”
“I would love to know-“ Lizzy remarked sweetly. “-where exactly I would be keeping a radio on my person, in this thing.”
”Talking out your ass, no doubt-” Tom muttered.
Another of the investors had broken off from the herd and started to sway his way over, bleary eyes fixated on Lizzy, and the parts of her body the dress wasn’t quite managing to cover. She could already see the words say, you look familiar forming in his head as she began to back away in fear.
But she wasn’t alone this time. Both Kennedy and Muldoon abruptly stopped what they were doing and gave the interloper a hard stare so intimidating that he about-turned and wobbled straight back the way he’d came without uttering a single word to anyone.
Muldoon shook his head, looking like his motor was rapidly winding down. “Christ alive, I need to get out of here. I hate this sort of thing.”
Lizzy cocked her head. He doesn’t do crowds.
“So if you’re both done wasting time-“ He continued.
She quickly sobered, not averse to making a quick getaway herself. “What’s wrong?”
There was a faint rumble of thunder from outside and the overhead lights dipped and came back on with a flicker. The drone of conversation around them lulled, then resumed.
The next thing the park warden said made Lizzy’s ears ring and edges of her vision darken as the adrenaline kicked in.
“Don’t react, either of you-“ Muldoon dropped his voice low enough that she had to crane her neck to hear him. “-but there’s an animal loose in the park.”
Son of a- Tom was already pushing past Lizzy, making his way to the exit doors, the sea of businessmen parting before him as he cleared a path.
“Don’t react. I said don’t react.” Muldoon quickly turned to follow him.
“Hang on-“ Lizzy caught up before he moved out of reach. “Which animal?”
Muldoon gave her a certain look while saying nothing, which told her everything.
Lizzy knew exactly which animal had broken out.
“Oh-“ She reached for the wall to steady herself as the lights flickered off again and thunder boomed over the island. “Oh, no.”
***
Thanks for reading!
If you worked out what this chapter is leading up to I will personally send you a gift basket or something.
#jurassic park oc#living dangerously#welcome to jurassic park#oc: dr lizzy armstrong#jurassic park female oc#jurassic park#jurassic park fanfiction#my writing#jurassic park 1993#jurassic park fanfic#jurassic park novel#robert muldoon#ray arnold#john hammond#ed regis
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Can you make an angsty imagine where hwasa comes home drunk and reader tries to help her but she doesn’t want any and Hwasa ends up yelling at reader and saying something she doesn’t mean(something reader told her she was insecure about).
Alcohol Lies | Ahn Hyejin
Pairing: Hwasa x gender neutral!reader
Genre: little fluff, angst
Word count: +1k
Content warning; established relationship, reader is taller than Hyejin, a few curse words, mention of alcohol consumption, Hwasa says more than she should, reader is insecure about their relationship (I think that’s all if I forgot something let me know)
A/n: thx anon for the request. I’m not really good with angst but I hope you enjoy 🥰
You shouldn’t blame her. It was technically not her fault. But you also couldn’t just take her responsibility away. Drunk or not, she was wrong and hurt you.
The night before she went out with some of her friends, you didn’t care much, she always went out without you since you are more of a homey person. Hyejin was looking ravishing as always, her body being pressed tight against her pair of jeans, her chest being covered by a simple piece of fabric that almost left nothing to imagination.
“What do you think, baby?” She twirled showing you a 360° view of her outfit and beauty, a smile planted on her lips as she waited for you to compliment her as you always did. She didn’t need that, but she loved how much you showered her in compliments and love.
“The hottest girl alive as always” you walked towards her, right hand slipping her waist and holding her lower back, the left one holding her by the nape of her neck and bringing your face closer to yours, her eyes looking up to you in such adoration as she but her lower lip. “I’m the luckiest to have you as my girlfriend” you teased her lips with yours. “What have I done to deserve you all to myself?” You finally kissed her, lips quite angry for each other and Hwasa damned herself because she promised her fired she’d go, otherwise she would stay at home and enjoy your company.
She broke the kiss first, pushing you jokingly away. “Stop, you’ll ruin my makeup” you smirked as if you wanted to say that that was the idea. “I’ll be quick there okay? Just a few drinks and I’ll come back home to you” you nodded and she gave you one last peck before leaving the apartment.
You sighed suddenly feeling lonely in the empty place and decided to clean a little to pass the time.
It was past 2am when you heard the front door click open and then close. You weren’t able to sleep after the adrenaline of the chores so decided to read until your girlfriend arrived.
You could sense she was past the point of sanity when she took longer to arrive in the room, stumbles and stumps sounds being heard on the way. When she appeared in the door the smell of alcohol almost flooded your nose. Her makeup was a little smeared, probably from laughing to hard or crying, eyes droopy and a stupid smile on her lips.
“Jin-ah, are you okay?” You hurried to her side and held her and she almost fell entering the room. “How much have you drunk?” She giggled.
“Just a little bit” the woman hiccuped and threw herself on your arms and then you noticed that one of the ties on the back of her top was untied.
“Babe, why is your top untied?” She tried to look at her back and failed. “Did someone do something to you?” You asked genuinely worried, she was quite strong for alcohol but when she drank too much she had the tendency to let herself go loose too much. If her friends were equally drunk, no one took care of her drunk state.
“No one did nothing to me, yn. Stop being so worried. I’m a grown up” Hyejin snapped, pushing you away from her tumbling body.
“I know that, but you get too happy when you drink too much”
“Are you calling me a slut?” She suddenly screamed. You felt confused at her reaction. “I’m not a slut and you don’t have the right to call me that!” The woman started walking away but her wobbly feet wouldn’t let her. You rushed to her side to help her, but she pushed you away again. “Don’t touch me! I don’t want to see you”
“Babe, I’m sorry I didn’t me-“
“Fuck you, yn! You don’t deserve me and you never will! You don’t treat me right and I feel like you don’t even care or love me. But you wanna know what? I’m better than you, I deserve better” in that moment you had tears starting to fall from your eyes. How could she? “I could be with anyone that I wanted to tonight, I had a bunch of people coming at me and wanting to pay me a drink to get into my pants and instead I decided to come back to you like a stupid little bitch” you were now crying, defeated, destroyed.
Hyejin knew how you felt about her, about your life. She knew that you constantly felt like you weren’t enough for her, that you couldn’t give her what she deserved. You had a boring 9-5 job, got just enough money to have a comfortable home and life with not many luxuries, and yet she had chosen you. Out of all the people she met, out of all the people that had hit on her even once she chose you. And despite her always cherishing you and telling you that she loved you and supported you and you were the best thing in her life, even then there was that little sting of pain and doubt that she deserved better than you.
And you couldn’t believe she told those words to you, all because you were worried about her safety and wanted to help her. They always say that there are three types of people that don’t lie: kids, elderly and drunk people. So if she told those things while drunk it was because she was holding it while sober.
You stared at each other as she started to realize what she said. The alcohol slowly exiting her system naturally.
“Yn… I didn’t-“ she stopped mid-sentence, eyes wide with realization.
“I… I think I need some time” you grabbed your phone, wallet and car keys.
“Yn, please, I’m sorry” she followed you around. “Please, let’s talk”.
“I need some time to think, Hyejin, and so do you” you opened the front door as you put on your shoes. “Reevaluate our relationship” she started crying. “I’m sorry I couldn’t give what you deserved” you closed the door behind you and left a deep breath out, tears streaming down your face as you made your way to your parents’ house.
Hyejin fell down on the floor, crying as much as you were. What had she done?
#bee requests#bee asks#kpop#kpop x reader#kpop reactions#kpop headcanons#kpop scenarios#kpop angst#Hwasa#Hyejin#Hwasa x reader#Hwasa scenarios#Hwasa angst#Hwasa headcanons
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a response to the last anon
Em was never their friend, and they dont do casual for best friends and family, so how were they supposed to react to and approach her knowing she put them in jail without caring to confess before? A bit entitled for emmy and us to ask for more from them, no?
I think its a bit unfair to say em felt entitled to their forgiveness. I think in her head she already resigned to the fact that they probably would never forgive her which is why she never confessed in the first place. However, is it hard to ask for a little bit of sympathy? They made her out to be the villain when she was just a teenage girl trying to make it out of her abusive household. After knowing everything em went through and damon went through and these people still couldn’t at least hear her explanation they really don’t deserve her.
Another thing that you brought up about em having to bend and break for those around her. YES em throughout all her life has constantly had to bend and break for those around her, for martin, for will, so why is it that she has to be the one to do it for these people who never even gave a shit about her. I think it’s unfair for her character to have to be the one constantly giving yet getting nothing good in return.
Honestly the question should be what doesn’t anger me about alex bc she angers me A LOT! yes alex is will’s best friend but even damon who in my opinion probably has a stronger friendship w/will than alex does was even understanding of em’s situation. I really appreciate em and damon’s friendship bc they both really understood each other and had genuine sympathy for each. Don’t you think its weird that best friend of the love interest was able to understand her better than the actual love interest 😒
all in all I just wanted more from the story and I wanted better for em and I don’t really think she got that.
Ahhh. So...
I think its a bit unfair to say em felt entitled to their forgiveness.
I don't think the Anon was saying that would be unfair for Emory to feel entitled her their forgiveness. I think that they were saying it's unfair for us the readers to demand on her part.
The way I interpreted the statement you quoted from the other anon was that we needed to look at this from the character’s point of view, not a reader’s perspective.
Of course, as a reader who has come to care about Emory, we want what we think is best for her. And we want her to come out “on top” of the situation. If you’re going into NF already disliking a majority of the cast, and then you find this one character that you can sympathize with, it makes sense that you wouldn’t want them in that situation or around the other characters. It’s like when you see a friend going into a relationship with someone who doesn’t deserve them. You want to protect them and pull them away.
But what I think the Anon was saying was that Emory decided that what they did was enough for enough for her to let it go, and it was want she wanted. If she wanted to leave, she could have. She didn’t. She wanted to be apart of this family and everything that came with it.
So for us to look at her and go “well you’re wrong, this is horrible and you deserve more” while we're practically packing her bags for her, is kind of ignoring Emory’s right to decide where she wants to be and who she wants to be.
Personally, I would never put myself in the situations Emory put herself in with the horsemen. I wouldn’t have taken Will back, and I wouldn’t have stayed in Thunder Bay.
I thought the horsemen missed the point of her confession – that Martin was the one to blame and something else was going on (thanks, Winter, for actually picking up on that but you did nothing with it). But even then, Will said he didn’t care about that. He was angry that she didn’t confess earlier. Still, they missed the point. They didn’t see Emory clearly.
But I’m not Emory. Emory isn’t going to make the decisions I make, and I just like I can’t say that someone else should live by my standards and expectations, moral or otherwise, I can’t say a character is wrong just for making a choice I wouldn’t make.
Emory wanted to stay in Thunder Bay with the Horsemen. Part of the fun for me is figuring out why. That’s what I try to focus on when talking and writing about these characters. The story is what is it is. But why is it that way?
If you’re response to that is that the stupid author wrote it that way, then fine. That’s as far as it goes. Doesn’t have to be super drawn out.
For me, the fun is ignoring the author and working within the narrative. Sometimes that’s hard when the author has done a poor job with things like world building or characterization, which is the case for Alex in my opinion. So the task then becomes building on what’s there to create something that makes sense to me, not just completely throw it away and replace it with what I would want to happen and the decisions I would make.
However, is it hard to ask for a little bit of sympathy? They made her out to be the villain when she was just a teenage girl trying to make it out of her abusive household. After knowing everything em went through and damon went through and these people still couldn’t at least hear her explanation they really don’t deserve her.
Yes, Emory deserved all sorts of sympathy. And as readers who have grown attached to her and feel for her and sympathize with her, we demand that for her, like we would demand that for a sister or a friend. Objectively, as a reader, I can conclude they messed up and they were in the wrong.
But Emory somehow felt that that what the others did was enough to earn her forgiveness. She decided they deserved her. So who are we to tell her she’s wrong? You can disagree with her decisions all you’d like, and that still won’t make her totally wrong in this case.
so why is it that she has to be the one to do it for these people who never even gave a shit about her. I think it’s unfair for her character to have to be the one constantly giving yet getting nothing good in return
I was responding to the other anon by explaining that, in my experience what most readers have an issue with Emory giving to Alex.
But I think what Anon was saying was that Emory was taking charge of that situation and doing what she wanted, and they let her. These people, who have tried to control everything from day one, gave her the floor.
She wanted to control the situation and instead of stopping her or telling her that she can’t, or she's not worthy, or she doesn’t deserve the space to make her own decisions, they allowed her to dominate the girl who’s been in their crew, by their side, working for them, for years.
At least, that’s how I was interpreting Anon’s message. It wasn’t about Emory being forced to give one more time to prove herself, it was them giving her the space to be in control.
And I’m not here to say which interpretation is more valid. Multiple interpretations are always going to exist to a certain existent, so trying to find one that is “The Right One” is only going to frustrate people. I just want to give people a space to express their interpretations and ideas, and listen and discuss.
I really appreciate em and damon’s friendship bc they both really understood each other and had genuine sympathy for each. Don’t you think its weird that best friend of the love interest was able to understand her better than the actual love interest
I am so fascinated with their friendship and wish we got more of it. I wish PD would stop telling us how much everyone loved Rika and go into how the others feel about each other.
I wouldn’t say it was weird. I think Will needed to experience some form of trauma to understand Emory.
He finally got it. Yippee for him.
all in all I just wanted more from the story and I wanted better for em and I don’t really think she got that.
You’re not alone in that sentiment. But Em seems happy with her husband and three children, if that’s any condolence?
Thanks for being so respectful and kind in your response, even though you disagreed. I appreciate you very much!
-KO
#asked and answered#anon response#emory scott#character discussion#asked and answered 149#response to prev ask#asked and answered 147#i was kind of expecting this#will grayson iii
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Dolly & Adonis Pt.1
Dolly: What’s your sister’s story?
Dolly: just, if she’s messing with mine, I should probably warn my family of the imminent breakdown… lest she overshadow the joyous nuptials
Adonis: She should come with a warning label, that much is true
Dolly: Drink responsibly is possibly the most touted and ignored warning label of all time
Adonis: Asking certain people to know their limits is a big ask
Dolly: She wasn’t exactly alone in her endeavour
Dolly: Thought being the only sober person in the room was rough at school but that was an experience
Dolly: what is it about celebrating the happiest day in a loved one’s life that makes people want to drink like they’re clinically depressed, I wonder?
Adonis: Any excuse for my loved ones
Dolly: It isn’t just mutual in the ones that are mutual, don’t worry
Dolly: Lulu doesn’t usually drink but she finds other ways to pull focus
Adonis: My sisters don’t need to drink to pull focus, they just usually are
Dolly: They’re very pretty
Adonis: Balances out the inherited alcoholism and other genetic flaws, at least
Dolly: If it ever becomes viable to sue for DNA deficits, my parents are going to want to save for that lawyer now
Adonis: [a phone number]
Adonis: My dad’s number, for when the day comes
Dolly: Now that would be a face-off worth the time, trauma and funds 😅
Dolly: luckily for us all, my mother has as much desire to be absent as she does to cause maximum drama herself, it was no doubt a tough call to not show but a call she made, nevertheless
Adonis: It would’ve driven Jay to hit the bottle hard, and we’re already overwhelmingly outnumbered in our sober chairs as a trio, losing her makes it appear like a deliberate set up
Dolly: It was noticeable, your lack of a drink, we could blame that on how out of place and uncomfortable I felt but I’d like to think I’d have recognised another sane person regardless
Adonis: In last night’s company, there’s the fear one has lost the knack, understandably
Adonis: the ‘can’t beat them, join them’ mentality has been trying to grind me down for years
Dolly: We’ve all bowed to that pressure, I think
Dolly: but letting it become a habit? Joke writes itself as unfunny as it is
Adonis: Perhaps if I was among my legit peers, I’d be more inclined to bow, but as it stands, the footing isn’t equal and I refuse
Dolly: It’s an admirable stance to take, as someone whose family is absolutely unhinged about gaining my unwilling participation, I’m right there with you
Adonis: 👋🏽 it’s my pleasure, you’re more than welcome to stand beside me at the next family function
Dolly: You have no idea how welcome a concept that is
Dolly: when the tall European isn’t being carted around, Lulu takes up all of Mattie’s time and space and I’m not exactly the best at mingling
Adonis: Unless it’s girls only, I’ll find you
Dolly: Oh God, I forgot about the gendered hell that is to come 😩
Adonis: At any other time it would be Jay’s idea of hell too, but she really has opted to go against type with this, suggesting all bets are off for the foreseeable, if I was a gambler either
Dolly: I feel as if I barely know her but the boyfriend, even less so
Dolly: *fiance, apologies
Dolly: Do you?
Adonis: No, her loyalties tend to lie with recognising the family she grew up with, I’m more of a sibling on a technicality
Dolly: I suppose I see her logic, though I was always more willing to get to know them but how well that translated all the way from Switzerland is an unknown still
Dolly: It’s… quite the unique situation we all find ourselves in
Adonis: As do I, the ways we fight to try and find any differentiation so we don’t have to instead find space to acknowledge every family tie, however knotted or stretched, is too relatable
Adonis: there are only so many older sisters I can bear, I know that
Dolly: Seems most unfair you started out with two
Dolly: was feeling sorry for myself for always having the one but Lord knows it could’ve been worse if my parents didn’t realise after us they weren’t into the whole family thing, really
Adonis: It is worse when it’s the kind of family function that has every aunt, uncle and cousin in attendance
Dolly: Definitely
Dolly: can start to really connect the dots, trace the neurosis, it’s a hard watch
Adonis: Every party having the potential to turn into a pity one isn’t my personal idea of fun, though there are family members who are more than ready to be the guest of honour on those nights
Dolly: I better ask you what you actually like to do when you aren’t being forced into the dutiful party guest role before it sounds like I’m trying to have my own 🥳😬
Adonis: Are you asking me out?
Dolly: Wouldn’t that be awfully presumptuous of me?
Adonis: You don’t want to be thrown back into the old fashioned hellscape of the night before, which we’re in danger of circling back to if I ask you, I respect it
Dolly: Put like that, it does sound pretty sensible
Adonis: And we both need reminding that there are social activities out there which don’t require babysitting drunk relatives, or being around anyone we’re genetically linked to at all, in fact
Dolly: You’re speaking my language
Dolly: so where is safe from the tangled web of familial overlap?
Adonis: In the Christmas holidays, almost nowhere, but it isn’t my first, I’ve still got the odd trick up my sleeve
Dolly: Is there a worse time of year, truly
Dolly: the music takes a nosedive and the city gets even more crowded
Adonis: You’re clearly fluent in my native language too, because no, I don’t think there is
Dolly: but you know places
Dolly: and I might have a few ideas myself, as it goes
Adonis: Give me an idea of the time I should pick you up, we’ll go from there
Dolly: Though that requires knowing what time it is now, a feat no one is fully capable of in the winter hols, I’ll give you an estimate
Dolly: how keen are you to be out of your house, exactly?
Adonis: I’m sure you can guess that as well, given the number of hangovers being suffered or allegedly cured with hair of the dog, under my roof at this exact moment
Dolly: I could be ready in 30
Dolly: the situation is that dire
Adonis: Done deal, be ready, I’ll be there
Dolly: Good thing I know the Grinch energy is mutual so you won’t be offended by my lack of novelty antlers or tinsel scarf
Adonis: More offended if that’s suddenly the dress code, the gendered red hat and itchy beard combo left for me implies you’d prefer not to be seen out together unless I’m mostly disguised
Dolly: Mingling may not be my strongest suit but I do know enough to know insults are no way to win allies
Adonis: I likewise know how futile it is to protest about the real size of my ego given my name and that you’ve been in close proximity to my parents and sisters by this point, nobody would be convinced in the slightest by any claims of how different I am, it sounds like a line designed to win you over
Dolly: Lesser minds would undoubtedly proclaim you have plenty ammunition to bolster your amour propre
Dolly: As if the claim having more merit makes it any less of a dick move… and not patently more of one 🤦♀️
Dolly: however, you’ve got good reason to win me over, I think it would be fair to say
Adonis: I can’t argue with that, luckily you do have my dad’s number should the need arise for a full on debate about what does or doesn’t constitute a dick move, he’ll definitely be more prepared
Dolly: any attempt to contact your father would almost certainly read as boldly presumptuous and it’s certainly not a reputation I’m trying to foster here
Adonis: I’m glad to hear it, however bold that comes across
Dolly: You’re straightforward, it’s a refreshing enough concept in my world that it can be pointed out without it sounding like I’m trying out my own lines 🤞
Adonis: It’s been a while since someone found it refreshing, which is all the more reason to expand the confines of my 🌎 these hols especially
Dolly: I can wholeheartedly recommend moving schools and countries for 6th form, totally shattered my 🌎
Dolly: What school do you go to?
Adonis: I’d love to, but it’s unlikely I’d ever get my parents to sign off on moving anywhere further afield than [idk somewhere close by because we know ruster aren’t those bitches to be sending you away]
Adonis: As I’ll be staying put at [his school] from start to finish, it’ll have to be up to me to 🌎☄️
Dolly: Half an hour down the road really feels no different to the hour and a half on a plane when you’re stuck where you’ve been dropped off, honestly
Dolly: I’ll watch your 🌠 with interest
Adonis: 👨🏽🚀 isn’t a vast improvement upon 🎅🏽 but because it’s less seasonal, I feel like it’s a small step in the right direction
Dolly: One small step, one small step…
Adonis: Exactly
Dolly: The outfit is a lot of silver but you’re still safe from the tinsel-bauble-glitter territory, for now
Adonis: It’s closer to New Year’s Eve territory, everyone choosing to dress like a mirror ball, which I’m aware is far from ideal
Dolly: I should tell you about the party I won’t be throwing, so you can thank me in advance 🚫🎂
Adonis: I’ll thank you when you feel we know each other well enough to let me in on the plans you do have
Dolly: My parents throw a party every year but
Dolly: I don’t know if I can stomach that much longer
Adonis: You’re welcome to gatecrash my family’s party, though a strong stomach is definitely needed
Dolly: When this wedding is already going to force so many obligatory functions upon us?
Dolly: I’d rather we do something entirely different
Adonis: Dare I be presumptuous enough to think I can single handedly make your 18th birthday bearable?
Adonis: Because, I obviously do dare
Dolly: A tall ask but if the 👨🏽🚀 fits
Adonis: A 🚀 on standby for you, could be arranged, if you really hate it
Dolly: pointing out your lack of competition would be rude, also very unmotivating
Adonis: What I may lack in competition I never do in motivation, it’s not as though change is always inevitable, I’m aware and prepared to cause it when necessary
Dolly: There’s a lot to be said for change, however efficient I am at enacting it all the time
Dolly: saying goodbye to my 17 isn’t going to require shedding any tears
Adonis: I won’t make a promise that I can’t keep, happy tears seems too sentimental christmas film of a vibe
Dolly: I can promise I won’t put you through that
Dolly: talk about a total lack of repayment on my part
Adonis: I’ve had dates end in worse ways, I can promise you that
Dolly: 😅 have I earnt a story yet or no?
Adonis: Maybe, but it’s difficult to decide on a winner when most of my experiences have been a little disastrous
Adonis: potentially, when an ex, who failed to realise he was one, ended things by punching me on a mini golf course?
Dolly: There are just so many layers to that sentence
Dolly: Wow
Dolly: at least it was just a punch when he did have a club to hand?
Adonis: To this day I believe it was that ‘restraint’ which meant he went home with the girl and I went home to an ice pack
Dolly: How did it get worse, it was already such a visual
Dolly: the recovery from the emotional fuckery must’ve been worse than whatever bruise was inflicted
Adonis: My pride was hurt most of all, I can’t lie
Dolly: understandable, some things take a while and a lot of swallowing to come back from
Adonis: I’m still not sure how I misjudged the situation or the girl so badly
Dolly: 😍 right
Adonis: Okay, true, you got me
Dolly: You’d sound like you were trying to be too good to be true if you claimed otherwise
Dolly: who hasn’t made a complete ass of themselves over a guy or girl
Adonis: Then I’ll not even try to come to my own defence
Dolly: You sound like you were in the right, if misguided
Dolly: I can’t say the same 🤦♀️
Adonis: What I can say is it wasn’t as romantically serious as the physical assault suggests, it was only our first date and we were all about 13 at the time
Dolly: That’s just more adorable, you poor thing
Adonis: My poor mum, she was truly inconsolable at the state of my face for the entire week
Dolly: I can imagine
Dolly: 🤴🏽 is blatant
Adonis: Yeah, neither parent is very subtle
Dolly: You are the only son, as well as the baby
Dolly: how else could they treat you, paired with your face that shouldn’t be punched
Adonis: If my sisters had been in charge of my naming we could’ve ended up with the same one, that’s how they treated me anyway
Dolly: I’d have to tell you how to pull it off, can’t be handing over all my secrets like that so soon
Adonis: We would’ve have to have met sooner or it’s a long time I’m expected to deal with it alone
Dolly: I do regret not pushing harder to take Mattie up on her offer of getting to know her sooner, the thought of you struggling is another one worthy of adding to the pile 🥺
Adonis: I regret any instance, hypothetical or otherwise, where I’ve caused you to 🥺
Dolly: You’ll have to insist your sisters stop, it’s simply too much and I said I’d stay well away from any saccharine over-the-top displays of emotion
Adonis: I’ll try harder at that, for your sake
Dolly: Before, my sister would never have let me speak to you alone
Adonis: Is it the tall European I have to thank?
Dolly: He’d like to think so
Adonis: I’d rather not speak to him, alone or in an awkward foursome, so I can’t say I’m devastated he isn’t the cause
Dolly: He’s not that interesting, take it from me
Dolly: We’ve known him for years now and I doubt the number of words we’ve exchanged in that time would even fill half the chat we’ve managed today alone
Adonis: I will, granted he isn’t my type, but he didn’t appear interesting or interested last night
Dolly: I’m sure he was wondering why he’d been dragged to that party, with no suggestion it was going to be made interesting or worth his while
Dolly: what is your type?
Adonis: Where’s your guesstimate?
Dolly: Risky but I’ll bite
Dolly: I think you like people that are well put together but not showy, that can hold a conversation without holding a drink, of course… people that aren’t content with what’s deemed culture and the norm
Adonis: No risk, no reward
Adonis: and with that said, I think it’s you
Dolly: It’s me that I described or I’m your type?
Adonis: Both
Dolly: That saves my face going red
Dolly: I think so too
Adonis: Along with green it is a designated banned colour right now
Dolly: I assure you I’m not going to walk out of the house looking like a Christmas tree to have you turning around faster than you contemplated getting to know me
Adonis: At the risk of trying to sound too good to be true, I wouldn’t turn around, even if you were dressed as a 🎄
Dolly: I don’t feel like testing you, not like that
Dolly: other ways are a definite possibility
Adonis: I like possibilities and tests
Dolly: I could’ve added it to my list
Dolly: it stops life being stagnant, the monotony of what everyone else wants and expects
Adonis: And there’s nothing like this time of year to drive home that monotony
Dolly: Every day is a repeat of the most tiring day masquerading as the best, like there’s a script we’re going off to acknowledge how derivative it all is
Adonis: I feel as though I must be missing pages they have
Dolly: The ones where it gives you the stage notes for how much fun it all is?
Dolly: and not just mindless self-harm
Adonis: Yeah, the alienation is the gift that keeps on giving
Dolly: Figuring out why their heads were so different used to seem like the good kind of challenge
Adonis: It does until it doesn’t, I know
Adonis: but I do have some like-minded friends I can introduce you to, at least, another time
Dolly: It’s a bit short notice to make it an awkward foursome or otherwise today
Dolly: I bet lots of them are somewhere tropical
Adonis: We could, but I don’t want to
Dolly: It would be disappointing
Dolly: as much as I need to broaden my own 🌎
Adonis: There’s time to help you mingle, but it’s not yet
Dolly: not now
Adonis: Absolutely not
Dolly: 😁
Dolly: there’s nothing worse than having to try to communicate that you want to be alone with just your eyes because you’ll offend the other people else
Adonis: What a waste of an eyes only convo
Dolly: I know how to be discrete in much more interesting ways
Adonis: Me too, I think I’ve managed keep hold of the shares of discretion the rest of my family lack
Dolly: Could say you were hoarding but their lack of interest was also noted
Adonis: I’ll put it to better use, it’s clearly my responsibility to
Dolly: Someone has to
Dolly: identity and reputation entirely free of my families is exactly what I need
Adonis: It’s what I’ve been looking for, and it’s a search which started years before I narrowly avoided getting beaten over the head with a mini golf club
Dolly: Are the clubs even metal? 😅
Adonis: The ones in question weren’t
Dolly: Obviously your quest for yourself is still SUPER valid
Dolly: I’ll have to pull out pictures of the super tragic selfies I took at 13, convinced they would win so many hearts, clearly
Adonis: Arguably MORE valid, because we can in no way call that a near death experience
Adonis: I’ll be suitably 😍 because you’re only 13, but you’re still you
Dolly: His ego undoubtedly deserves that bruising, even all these years later
Dolly: I won’t hold you to those 😍 girls school makes you lose your grip on reality in a very specific way… the questionable choices are so very questionable
Adonis: It’s not your fault all girls boarding schools continue to exist somehow, the questionable choice was made by your parents
Dolly: They learnt their lesson and we managed to avoid that fate this time, though we seemed positively homeschooled when we arrived, far closer to 13 than the 16 we were
Adonis: Was your primary school experience the same? 5 or 6 seems ridiculously young to have to go away
Dolly: Surval was from 12, you can only board from 7, typically, so, we did that here for those years
Adonis: Nevertheless, I can’t imagine how that must have been
Adonis: call me a 🤴🏽 again if you want
Dolly: It was never intended as an insult or anything beyond an observation stated plainly
Dolly: It was better than home but also a lot like home, so really, it didn’t make a difference in the end, not to me
Dolly: there was undoubtedly a time we acted like it was a great escape and adventure like all the jolly hockey sticks books
Adonis: Plenty of people, much older, buy into YA the same way, any coming of age media
Dolly: Those writers have a lot to answer for
Adonis: I hope I don’t come across like a voyeur with my questions and lack of answers, as well as blatant ignorance
Dolly: Not at all
Dolly: I’ve had those sorts of questions, I don’t doubt you’ve had your share too, blatantly after the most titillating answers only, no concern for how it might feel
Adonis: Yeah, my sister’s determination to keep the audience titillated doesn’t help matters, but it didn’t begin with her and I doubt it’ll end there either
Dolly: Imagine people having no clue who you or your family are when you walk in a room, nothing to judge you on but what you decide to give them
Dolly: people don’t understand how lucky they are to have that
Adonis: The horror stories I’ve spared you as a teenage boy with the mother I have and her… career choices
Adonis: mini golf will forever be preferable
Dolly: I’m aware it isn’t sparing you to let you know I’ve been told the horror stories of who your parents are
Dolly: but I mean in that, is that they were undoubtedly exaggerated grossly out of all proportion because that’s how my mother speaks about everyone she’s ever known, with total poison
Dolly: it has to be hard, to be forced to defend someone’s honour when their decisions were nothing to do with you, made before you were even born
Adonis: It’s a lot to ask of prospective friends, girlfriends, to put aside everything they’ve already heard and listen to me, I know that
Adonis: especially when, yeah, you’re right, I don’t have a speech prepared for the occasion that’ll just make it all less… insane
Dolly: You know that you don’t have to condemn her, if you choose not to defend, it’s not the same thing
Dolly: our parents shame shouldn’t be ours, it definitely does not work that fairly in practice but
Adonis: I wonder if it’s nice to be as black and white as your mother is, for nothing to feel as complicated as it undoubtedly is
Dolly: Her particular brand of happiness has always struck me as miserable but my sister attempts to emulate it so it must hold some outward appeal to others
Adonis: Your sister did look miserable, I assumed it was the tall European’s fault at the time, or Jay’s potentially, for the cliche of proposing on Christmas Eve at midnight
Dolly: Oh, definitely Jay’s
Dolly: she doesn’t fill me in on her plans now but it’s fairly simple without her spilling the secrets, turn up and sour the mood of an otherwise happy time for whoever she deems might be having a better time than her
Adonis: Poison, like you said
Dolly: like I said
Dolly: She wanted it to be worthwhile, I guess, having her as a mother
Dolly: or it’s just genetics and we’re all screwed
Adonis: You’re not, it’s a convenient excuse to avoid taking responsibility for anything, that’s all
Adonis: I could drink myself into an early grave or sleep with a cousin and blame either on genetics, but I did those things in the hypothetical and I’m choosing not to actually
Dolly: Right, we don’t have to give in, that would be a personal choice, and I’m not going to repeat history for the easy excuse it gives
Adonis: So much more can be worthwhile, it has to be
Dolly: I know that they’re not happy, what they want isn’t what I want
Dolly: that’s a start
Adonis: And I’m well aware my family are, but it still isn’t what I want, my happiness isn’t going to look like theirs
Dolly: It’s a weird thing for people to assume, they probably don’t even they just think it’s a hilariously provocative observation to make
Dolly: just because your parents are what they are, you’re no more likely to be, that’s like saying gay parents always have gay kids, but the chances are even more minuscule
Adonis: People just want to try and get a rise out of me, another assumption being made there I’ve inherited the temper my dad and grandad have because I’m also a boy 👌🏽
Dolly: A year of co-ed has taught me that the male obsession with displays of strength and dominance go entirely into the realms of homoerotic
Dolly: Try to be flattered by their blatant flirting 🙄
Adonis: I don’t imagine you are, a year in
Dolly: They attempt to keep our schedules far too packed for anything like that
Adonis: The use of the word attempt is noted though
Dolly: I fear my dating history is less storied and contains not nearly enough mini golf
Adonis: If you’d like it to contain more mini golf, of course I’ll face my fears head on
Dolly: That is awfully brave of you
Adonis: You were brave enough to talk to me first
Dolly: Intrigue outweighed intimidation
Dolly: plus I needed someone to confirm I was seeing what I was seeing
Adonis: Unfortunately I had no choice but to validate that, the least I can do from here is validate you in better ways
Dolly: I will be braver and talk to you in person, next time
Adonis: It’s okay if you’re slightly speechless when I drive by and pick you up, you probably don’t think I’m seriously going to
Dolly: It would be an interesting sick joke, one I’ve actually not fallen for before
Adonis: [a selfie from this uber or taxi or whatever cos he cannot drive yet he’s but a child, like omw for reals, we know what London is like though hence it’s legit he is not there yet despite being highkey clearly]
Dolly: Never doubted you for a second
Adonis: What would you have said, in person, at the party?
Dolly: I wish I had some kind of line ready for the occasion but I can’t lie about it
Dolly: Hopefully something would have come to me after the hi, how are you
Adonis: I don’t doubt you either
Dolly: your outfit was good, you looked smart
Adonis: I’d have complimented yours too, after the hi, and before asking you to dance
Dolly: I would have accepted
Adonis: So we owe each other one
Dolly: only if the song has absolutely nothing to do with the holiday
Adonis: You can dj, but I have no idea how you’re supposed to improve on the perfection of the one Jay’s fiance chose
Dolly: He really set the bar
Adonis: And the mood
Dolly: why do you think they’re getting married?
Adonis: I think she’s scared he’ll walk away if she doesn’t walk down the aisle, at their age, with how long they’ve been an off and on couple
Dolly: His family seems a little more traditional, in comparison
Dolly: so maybe he would
Adonis: It’s the impression I got too, him buying into the whole American white picket fence ideology
Dolly: Makes you wonder how they fit but being identical isn’t the only way to make a relationship work
Adonis: Do they fit or are they trying hard to make it look like they could?
Dolly: A question I’m not in a place to ask but I think we’re all worried we know the answer
Adonis: Call me naive, but I don’t see any reason they should have to try that hard to force it, granted I’m used to my parents’ insane obstacles, but nevertheless
Dolly: I’d be making guesses about their own trauma if I speculated
Dolly: could range from not wanting to feel like they’ve wasted their time to thinking they can’t get or don’t deserve better
Adonis: Maybe their shared trauma is it
Dolly: It’s awkward to come to the conclusion you shouldn’t be with someone, for both your sakes
Adonis: It’ll only get more awkward, if that’s an inevitable conclusion
Dolly: Very true… like you said, people opt for easy over right, 9 times out of 10
Adonis: I want easy AND right, it can’t be that unrealistic of an expectation
Dolly: For you, I don’t think it is
Adonis: Why do you think it is for anyone but me?
Dolly: Okay, not quite just you
Dolly: I mean, it seems like you have the determination, surely that has to get you halfway
Dolly: plenty of people seem to completely lack it, or the desire to do what’s right, honestly
Adonis: Don’t you have it?
Dolly: I don’t know
Dolly: I really hope so
Adonis: It seems to me, you do
Dolly: I appreciate that, genuinely
Adonis: This convo wouldn’t have gotten halfway to the point it has if I didn’t see something in you, genuinely
Adonis: you’re beautiful, but I’m not shallow
Dolly: but more importantly, you think I’m beautiful
Adonis: Well, yeah, I’ll allow you to dwell on it for a second
Dolly: 😅 you better
Adonis: Don’t you get told you are all the time?
Dolly: I am stunned if that’s the impression I gave off
Adonis: No, but I think you should be told more than you obviously have been
Dolly: It was always a competition before, a ranking whenever you walked into a room
Dolly: it’s less loaded when a boy says it
Adonis: Even with two older sisters I can’t claim to be an expert on girl politics, but in my opinion, you’re so beautiful
Dolly: how can you say that with a straight face when yours looks like that?
Adonis: Because we aren’t in competition with each other, and what else would my face do when I mean everything I’m saying?
Dolly: I’ll get better at accepting compliments, on the assumption you’re planning to pay me more than the one, there
Adonis: I’ll stop at one if it’s making you uncomfortable, I’m not trying to do that, but otherwise, no, I wasn’t planning on it ending there
Dolly: not uncomfortable
Adonis: I can be pushy sometimes, when I believe I’m right
Dolly: Right is right, you should say it, I think
Dolly: I’ve just been living more like a nun since we came back, makes everything more… intense, not a bad thing
Adonis: Understandable, and we’ve been thrown together in weird circumstances on top of that
Dolly: Couldn’t get much weirder
Dolly: except we’re both painfully aware how odd things can be and this isn’t coming close
Adonis: As much as I don’t want to sound like a christmas film, if something good can come out of this, I’m not going to say no to it
Dolly: Turning down good has always been illogical, I don’t intend to make that mistake, not for some misguided self-punishment or otherwise
Adonis: There’s something here and I feel good about it
Dolly: It’ll be something to see you smile and it be sincere
Adonis: Traffic is testing me, I shouldn’t have admitted I like them
Dolly: I’m pretty gutted you aren’t here too
Adonis: The temptation to get out and walk
Dolly: The temptation to meet you half way
Adonis: I’m not carrying mistletoe, there’s no festive reason why it’s banned, is there?
Dolly: I won’t be in my pants and I’ve not seen any snow, so, I think we can get away with it
Adonis: I do like you just as you are, but I promise not to say so
Dolly: Maybe you can say something to that effect
Dolly: if you don’t mind how short it’d make the conversation
Adonis: We’ll get away with that too
Dolly: If you agree
Adonis: I’m walking, it’s your turn
Dolly: [after a suitable amount of time to get yourself out the door, a selfie to prove you are]
Adonis: Hi
Dolly: Hi
Adonis: You do look like someone I could like just as they are, honestly
Dolly: There’s no better test than me running out of the house with only 30 mins to get ready
Adonis: I’ll try not to undo your hard work in less than half that time, as a test of restraint
Dolly: but I might 🥺
Adonis: I won’t promise, or make you, then breaking it isn’t an issue
Dolly: Okay, that seems fair
Dolly: and it isn’t going to feel like losing or failing, so you won’t be 🥺 either
Adonis: Losing control, possibly, but I don’t mind
Dolly: no risk no reward
Adonis: Life’s too short, and lately it’s felt far too long as well
Dolly: I wasn’t sure the hols would ever get here, not that they drag any less than school but
Dolly: I wouldn’t have met you in term time
Adonis: Don’t think about term time coming back around, I’ll have to enrol at your school to stand any chance of seeing you
Dolly: I think you should and that it’s not at all an unreasonable request
Adonis: I’ll frame it slightly differently when I put it to my parents, but I will put it to them
Dolly: it is a very good school, I’d list off the accolades if I could think straight
Adonis: I’ll google them when my parents insist on hearing about them, if only to avoid accidentally listing what I like about you
Dolly: You’re so attractive, it’s ridiculous
Adonis: Oh 👌🏽 it is more difficult to take a compliment under these circumstances, you’re right
Adonis: thank you doesn’t feel like an appropriate response at all
Dolly: You’re going to have to show me, I think
Dolly: or I dread to think what I could end up saying
Adonis: I’ll show you, dread has no place here
Dolly: you know I don’t do this, cliche as that is to ask, it isn’t festive
Adonis: Unless you have a completely different definition of what living as a nun means, we’re probably on the same page
Dolly: Have to be devoted to something, keep myself out of trouble
Adonis: I’m not spending my out of school hours sinning either, you know that
Dolly: There’s nothing wrong about this, can’t be
Adonis: We’re not blood related, which is a start
Dolly: both of age, very willing
Dolly: We like each other, potentially just as we are
Adonis: I don’t have a girlfriend who would swing for you with a mini golf club
Dolly: 😅 then please
Adonis: Run don’t walk, yeah?
Adonis: as long as you’ll still like me just as I am if that includes sweaty, potentially
Dolly: Are you going to let me linger on that thought too?
Adonis: Until I find you, anyway
Dolly: I want you to find me
Adonis: I’ll run
Dolly: Thank you is really inadequate
Adonis: Show me too
Dolly: Every way I can
Adonis: [actually do run so you can show up to however far she has gotten like !! because we’re being highkey on this day]
Dolly: [just staring at him like OH SHIT ‘cos you know exactly what you want to happen now, moving closer to him so you can touch his forehead like you’re checking if he’s sweating or not ‘you really ran’]
Adonis: [taking her hand from his forehead and playing with it how ruster do because he is a child of, however much he wishes he wasn’t sometimes lol ‘I’m a man of my word’ like yep of course I did, moving even closer after he’s said that because blatantly like I meant everything I said]
Dolly: [the touch starvation really hitting so you’re reacting faster than you’d like for your reputation undoubtedly but you can’t care about that here and now as you’re leaning into this touch and stretching to kiss him before he can appreciate your red face and expression from suppressing an audible reaction]
Adonis: [kiss about it regardless of what busy after christmas street you’re on, simply must, excuse them everyone, he’d be trying to keep it vaguely chill at first but that’s obvs going out of the window v fast because he’s a teenage boy and he doesn’t do shit like this normally so feels are high]
Dolly: [at least if you’re standing still people can just walk around y’all because the concern we are not showing as we’re wrapping our arms around your neck to pull us closer to you]
Adonis: [and not that either of you care but depending where you got to there’s a good chance you’re more surrounded by houses anyway so there’s less peeps gonna just be strutting around you than if it’s a shops moment, pick her up to combat that height difference while y’all continue to makeout and also because it’s just a mood frankly]
Dolly: [you’re probably somewhat residential, it’s cool, if you need to move then you’ll have to but right now we’re making our !! noise into this kiss when you pick us up, wrapping our legs around you with the same energy momentarily because we want you CLOSE]
Adonis: [I’m sure there’s a little wall in front of some of these houses this boy is making his way to so you can eventually sit on it and use it to y’all’s full advantage, but he’s slightly distracted rn by that noise and his absolute GRIN into this kiss in response, not to mention what she then does and how he’s gotta kiss her so much more dramatically about it]
Dolly: [The scandal, weren’t being coy when you said you don’t usually do this, because you’d have to have been very secretive to get away with your teacher affair for any length of time, just here making out with this boy like WHO AM I? The weird vibe of that engagement party has thrown us all honey but we’re not mad about this development, unlike the sheer WTF at the fact Sekhmet just showed up at your house, they went out and then came back and we know they fucked so, like, what lmao, not thinking about this as we poke your cheeks like oi at this grin but the way we’re smiling back we’re not actually offended, clearly]
Adonis: [At least this boy doesn’t know what his sister is up to rn whatever ends up happening if we can ever write that convo cos he very much doesn’t wanna know thank you lol, even if y’all weren’t busy having your own peak romance, which we are rn so he’s backing her into this wall to do the most and continue this makeout, cos again a mood and they haven’t had anything to lean against except each other up to now, soz it’s not a full sized one but nevertheless keeping that going until the height difference/need to be closer gets too much, and then sitting her on this wall, taking his first proper breath since he ran up and his first chance to LOOK at her since too, when he does, and sits down next to her ‘How are you?’ like he’s continuing the IRL convo they could’ve had at the party post the hi they’ve already exchanged, but it’s not at all casual because they are both too !! and wowed by that makeout sesh obvs]
Dolly: [We can’t be thinking about your exploits right now ladies, that isn’t the mood for anyone, thank you, we’ll just be here desperately trying to pour our OTT energy into deepening this kiss and not in making unhinged noises because can’t be giving the game away that hard that fast but you can make it a swag kiss that leaves him reeling as much as you, or at least that’s the goal; looking at him for a beat pure holding yourself back from launching yourself at him again vibes because not ready for that to be over, making this known by nodding like that’s the only response you can give to that question right now and kissing him again, softer and slower and pulling away with a lil laugh but you had to nonetheless ‘you?’]
Adonis: [reeling is 1000% the energy but he’s likewise not mad about it, regardless of whether she’s done a hair up or hair down moment before leaving her gaff, tucking however much of it has gotten into her face during the feral makeout behind her ear during the brief interlude when the kissing is softer and slower, cupping both sides of her face as she pulls away to keep the proximity and the eye contact at a dramatic level whilst he can’t help but join in with his own lil breathless hot lol and smile again in response to the question]
Dolly: [when you wanted to see him smile because he has such a little serious face and you are not at all disappointed because he has the wolfiest teeth and it is a vibe, will also point out she has an insanely giant smile like Emma Roberts wishes she did very Julia so you two are probably looking unhinged but feeling so 🥰 so we do not care, are having to hide our face in our hands though as an effort to stop smiling at you lest we never speak again because y’all have managed a few words between you so far, nerds ‘did you pay for your car?’ like lol does that driver think you’ve just bolted or what]
Adonis: [I love these goofy cute nerds, when this is the first time you’ve heard her IRL speak because you didn’t at the party and she isn’t the type to yell out across the function so you’re just enjoying how her voice sounds because I’m sure that time in Switzerland speaking all that French made it cuter than a standard posh Chelsea girl accent, but looking at her with adorable faux offence when she asks that because he’s a good boy and not the type to do a runner, dropping her hands which he was playing with again in the ruster manner like oi ‘of course I did’]
Dolly: [pick his hand up again like hey, I’m sorry but with the playful unserious energy this whole conversation is in so far ‘of course you did’ like I know, I know ‘forgive me?’ LOOKING at him like you know you wanna]
Adonis: [a facial expression like 🤔+😏 energy of hmmm idk idk to keep up this playful vibe when she picks his hand up with her sorry energy but as soon as she asks to be forgiven and LOOKS at him there’s a switch to a father’s son style soft but !! wrist grab to pull her closer and almost into his lap because of how close we know y’all already were and he’s obvs kissing her again]
Dolly: [doing puppy dog eyes basically like GO ON PLEASE really hamming it up until he pulls you to him and you’re back to dying with no room for pretence, slowly snaking your hands up the back of his shoulders and neck until they’re in his hair because he has nice wurls so enjoy that]
Adonis: [gotta do his own and first quiet lil !! noise because having your hair played with just feels nice and girls don’t do that to boys enough + you’re not a hoe clearly by how you’re living and your whole vibe so it would especially be a novelty to you sir I’m sure]
Dolly: [encouragement will only make you make more of a moment of it because you’d be tentative with a new person regardless, unsure what they like or don’t but not wanting to straight up ask like that blunt bitch or ruin the romance of it all, never mind you’ve done this with two boys/men before and Gabe was truly only to distract from talk of your actual secret boyfriend so we weren’t exactly interested in what he did or didn’t like, soz Gabriel not soz]
Adonis: [Oh Gabriel you massive Swiss flop, nobody’s that interested in you hun, it’s so awkward, meanwhile, this boy couldn’t be more into it and thus is bringing her onto his lap fully as he kisses her neck like it’s his job, excuse us whoever’s house they are shamelessly in front of because truly have forgotten where they are atm]
Dolly: [having to gasp, even if there’s an attempt to do it somewhat quietly, you can’t exactly do it so quietly he doesn’t hear it so you’ll have to lean into that by kissing him harder so he can’t say anything, lifting your weight off him because your mother has traumatized you undoubtedly and we can’t possibly crush you with our bulk ugh, Chlo lol]
Adonis: [giving it his absolute all kissing her back, only pausing slightly to do a lil tug of war of sorts with this girl when he feels her shift her weight off of him because he can guess why, he’s a smart boy, someone has done a number on you girl, the who doesn’t matter in this moment, only that you go back where you were]
Dolly: [making a cross but joking about it noise like stop it you as if he’s just starting a playfight for the flirtatious vibe of that and you don’t also know that he knows because it was kind of obvious but just the sort of flinching you’d do without even realising you had]
Adonis: [‘I did warn you’ because aware it’s once again giving pushy when I believe I’m right energy, in her ear purely to be in her ear and because he’s holding her to keep her there and also to subtly be comforting without turning into it a thing they need to unpack]
Dolly: [making the mhmm sort of noise but it’ll sound closer to indecent than annoyed because we aren’t mad at you about it and we wanna be this close to you and also not be affected by our cunty mother ever in general but that isn’t something for either of you to tackle in this moment ‘perhaps you didn’t warn me sufficiently’ after kissing him again with the softer energy, like you did not warn me I would want you this much, sir]
Adonis: [‘perhaps not’ because equally taken aback by the day’s events ‘only because I hadn’t the slightest idea what would suffice’ no planning for any of this, but again, couldn’t be less mad about it]
Dolly: [nodding because the truest and most relatable thing you could have said in this moment, resting your forehead against his to take a moment here ‘where are we going?’ quietly but also because you had plans and you’re now at least half aware you’re still just sat outside this random house]
Adonis: [pulling her jacket or coat closer around her but from the inside because I’m imagining it’s open either fully or at least slightly, enough anyway that he can have his arms around her hugging her inside rather than outside of it for the extra closeness and contact and to be cute ‘Do you like surprises?’ like genuinely or should I tell you, because not something he knows about her yet]
Dolly: [rubbing the tops of his arms like he’s just super cold and doesn’t just wanna hug you, doing this as we’re clearly considering how we feel about surprises like 🤔 deciding that we, in fact, do, so the grin is big as we’re nodding our head]
Adonis: [a lil ‘oh my god’ escaping, to give his mum instead of dad vibes for a change, just because I can when she’s being so adorable and he can’t bear it, doing his own v loved up big grin as he looks at her]
Dolly: [‘you’re making it hard for me to want to go anywhere but-’ cutting yourself off because we know where the but implies honey but we also want you to take us wherever you wanted to really but how do we find chill is the point lol]
Adonis: [‘It’s as hard for me’ like yep hard same in case you were in any doubt about that ‘but, we can do this’ lifting her up and putting her back down on her feet in an cute little move as he then also gets up, goodbye wall]
Dolly: [it is always going to be unavoidably noticeable for lads so we’re blushing in response ‘cos definitely no doubt when you put us in your lap; doing a little spin and flourish like there we go ‘we did it’ like not so hard after all]
Adonis: [watching her do that adorable lil spin and immediately wanting to just pull her into him and start a new makeout sesh because no chill, but he’s trying really hard to find some, hence ‘It’s a start, I’ll still need you to help me think of something else though, to get where we’re going’ like what is the biggest turn off we can come up with in this moment please and thank you]
Dolly: [ah to be a teenager with barely any self-control because your hormones are insane, the way we’re now LOOKING at you but interspersed with such real attempts to look away making it obvious we can’t help it ‘alright, what about…’ and pausing to think because taking this role seriously ‘Noah’s hair?’ dragging this man to filth but it would be on your mind like lol]
Adonis: [SUCH a genuine burst of laughter because obvs he didn’t know what to she was going to say, it literally could have been anything, but that’s such a specific yet perfect drag of this man we clearly do not like based on our first real impression ‘Thank you, that was perfect’ taking her hand and walking a bit because I doubt this place is in walking distance remotely from where you are but you’ll have to get to some kind of point you can get some kind of transport from, whatever that’s gonna be, like even if it’s another car you don’t wanna be like yo pull up to this random house where we’ve already made a nuisance of ourselves]
Dolly: [doing your own loling because it was already funny so his reaction has just made it even more and we’re buzzing to actually have someone our age to talk to because we’d obviously struggle to make them given we weren’t really allowed them before, so be here having a lovely time already when you haven’t even done anything yet, walking and vibing]
Adonis: [we’re gonna have to put a pin in where he’s taking her, we know it’s lowkey his fave place to go and get away from his extra sisters and parents but that’s all I’ve got, other than knowing I’d like it to not be the obvious kind of art gallery or museum vibe, something more specific to him/less of a cliche, as I said, can’t really be bebopping to y’all’s Dublin house on a whim]
Dolly: [it’s coolio, we can always come back if we have a cute idea and do what is y’alls first date, we know you’ll both be having a lovely time because you’re about to find out you’ve got a lot in common being massive nerds so enjoy huns]
Adonis: [yeah, an idea might come to us randomly at some point, but for now the vibe is you’re both having the loveliest time, that’s what matters here, and you’re avoiding that after christmas carnage + managing to almost be alone to really get to know each other more]
Dolly: [and it’s not as if you can have covered your entire life story in one outing, nor would either of you be inclined to, so we can continue without issue]
Adonis: [mhmm, that would be Lulu levels of unhinged, which neither of you are, you are gonna be GUTTED when we separate y’all though, which I imagine is whenever where you are is literally closing and they kick you out, cos don’t wanna leave]
Dolly: [imagine having to just go home casually with no real inclination if and when you’ll see each other again because the next wedding thing wouldn’t be for ages so y’all could just dip, we know you won’t but like imagine]
Adonis: [We’ll be kind and give y’all a dramatic taxi ride back to her house/her grandparents whichever she’s going to, where you can just makeout the entire time as if it is goodbye because the fear would be real even though he fully intends to not let it happen, there’s still also a v real possibility she might be busy until her bday which he said he’d save from being shit somehow or that she might end up having to go to her parents terrible party, y’all don’t know]
Dolly: [I’m sure your parents very much want you to come to their NYE party they pretend is about you when it isn’t at all beyond the excuse to parade you around but is either of you gals going to be in the mood for that, no, huns, no but yeah everything would feel very uncertain because lbr people ghost people so you could think he’s gonna just be like actually nah, awkward as it’d be and we’re really hoping you do not]
Adonis: [thank god he isn’t that savage, anything to do with this wedding is going to suck enough as is]
Dolly: [will let you send him a selfie of you chilling on your bed when you are inside and have watched his car turn the corner off your street]
Adonis: You look comfortable
Dolly: It’ll do
Dolly: hopefully it won’t take you as long to get home at this time
Adonis: I don’t mind, I’m in no rush to be back
Dolly: Hm, I can see that
Dolly: peace and quiet or only one chatty person to contend with
Adonis: Come on, you’re not unbearably chatty or anything
Dolly: 😲 Well!
Adonis: Forgive me and keep me company, please
Dolly: as you asked nicely
Dolly: and your manners have been mostly impeccable the rest of the day, I will
Adonis: Thanks, even though it’s inadequate again
Dolly: I can imagine your intention much better now we’ve spoke in person though
Adonis: My imagination could run away with me after today
Dolly: I think that could be quite a nice way to pass the time
Adonis: Nice isn’t the word, I don’t think
Dolly: Help me think of a more suitable one
Adonis: Dangerous, possibly
Dolly: Dangerous is good
Dolly: makes good inadequate but that doesn’t change how good it is
Adonis: I don’t want to get ahead of myself, or of where you want me to be
Adonis: and it feels like a very real possibility
Dolly: You don’t have to concern yourself with that
Adonis: Are you sure?
Dolly: I know where I want you
Adonis: I know what I want too
Dolly: So we can do it again?
Adonis: Yeah, the only question is when?
Dolly: When can you get away from the family obligations?
Adonis: [idk how ruster are spending the run up to NYE these days, but fill her in on your schedule and when there are potential gaps therein, we know you’re probably a busy boy even in the hols but we also know you’re not above changing your plans for her]
Dolly: Okay, so let me know when you can
Dolly: our grandparents take us out after our birthday so until then, I’m free as a bird
Adonis: [immediately suggest changing something around tomorrow because you started this highkey and it’s how you’ll go on, besides there’s realistically only a few days til her bday and you’d wanna see her before then because still don’t yet know if you’ll be able to on the day of/what’s occurring then]?
Dolly: If you think you can, do, please
Dolly: I already wish you could have stayed
Adonis: The temptation to turn this car around
Dolly: I know
Dolly: I couldn’t let you stay though, unfortunately
Adonis: Is your sister there? Is MY sister?
Dolly: Mine definitely is, I can hear someone in her room
Dolly: not sure if yours is now though
Adonis: I can’t let you stay if she is, not in good conscience, knowing you’ll never get any sleep, peace or quiet
Dolly: I’m used to it
Dolly: she used to do things like that on purpose, as weird as that sounds
Adonis: Still, the least I can do is stay awake with you, until you hopefully aren’t
Dolly: You’re so sweet
Dolly: if only I could trust her not to be weird and pry, then you could be here with me
Adonis: You can have my room, I’ll come back and get you
Dolly: I can’t have your room, what would your family think
Adonis: That I’m the perfect gentleman who can’t stand the thought of your current sleeping arrangements, because I can’t
Dolly: Oh, Adonis
Dolly: you really are but you mustn’t turn around
Adonis: I don’t want to pry but your sister is really weird and she puts me on edge
Dolly: I’d be lying for her sake if I said it was entirely an act she puts on
Dolly: but she hates me now so why would I do that
Adonis: So don’t be there with someone who hates you, you can be with me instead, and you know I like you very much
Dolly: I like you too, I had such a good day
Adonis: It doesn’t have to be over yet, not until my mum starts being ridiculously embarrassing
Dolly: 😏
#idk what we're going to call them#maybe mfs like motherfuckers but its their last initials cos your names together are hard lol
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would you mind telling me about your ocs? what are your favorite and least favorite traits of theirs? what songs fit them best? what’s their sense of humor like? this might get long lol but i want you to ramble to me
I am answering for Agent Aitch, Victor, Paradox, Raven, and Aseroth because they are my favorite little bastards (at the moment lol)
Agent Aitch (from Another World) (not a little bastard, still a favorite)
My favorite of her traits is her kindheartedness. She's the sweetest person you will ever meet. She lives to help others and will stop at nothing to defend the innocent.
BUT my least favorite trait is her tendency to blame herself when things go wrong. She feels like she should have done more. She's a real sweetheart though and she deserves the best.
Aitch's theme song is It's Time by Imagine Dragons. Other songs I associate with her include Second Chance (Shinedown), Whatever It Takes (Imagine Dragons), Bruises (Train), and Everything Moves (Bronze Radio Return).
Aitch has a fairly NORMAL sense of humor (which is somewhat strange compared to most of my other ocs). It's not edgy or dark, it's not exactly "dad joke" humor, it's pretty down to earth and I suppose probably more ironic than anything else.
Victor Stevens (originally my Cyberpunk 2077 character, but an oc now I stole him and haha age regressed him)
My favorite trait of Victor's is his childlike innocence (well. That's a debatable term lol). He believes that the world is a safe and happy place, bad things just happen sometimes, and that people as a whole are basically good, some just. Aren't. He knows nothing of safety and happiness, or course, but he thinks he does because he doesn't have anything to compare his own life to. He trusts his sister to take care of him and he doesn't really have an innate desire for anything he doesn't have (he does have kleptomaniacal tendencies but it's only ever spur of the moment and also mostly because he has no concept of personal belongings. When he takes things he doesn't consider the fact that they might belong to someone else. To him they are just there).
I suppose my least favorite of his traits is his hotheadedness. He has a one-track mind and never thinks anything through before acting. Though I think that's funny for him it's not really a great trait to have.
Victor's theme songs are You Only Live Once by Suicide Silence and Glitch by Parkway Drive.
Victor doesn't have much of a sense of humor as a child. He tends to take things pretty literally and at face value. As he gets older his sense of humor turns to basically straight sarcasm. But not really in an offensive way (unless you've made him angry). And it's actually funny sometimes.
Paradox (from Last One Standing)
My favorite of Paradox's traits is his conviction that he MUST make the world a better place. Even though that's what lands the entire population in the mess HE made of the world. His broken paradise.
He knows that with great power comes great responsibility but he doesn't realize that he has no right to the power he took over everybody.
My least favorite of his traits is probably his inability to admit that he messed up and turn around. He will fight to the bitter end to fix his mistakes, but HIS WAY, which only ends with him digging himself into a deeper hole. And of course taking everybody else with him.
The song I most associate with him is Bad Liar by Imagine Dragons. Other songs that fit his personality and life story are Viva la Vida (Coldplay), Bright Eyes (Art Garfunkel), Wrecked (Imagine Dragons), What I've Done (Linkin Park), New Divide (LP), Another Illusion (Major Moment), Demons (Imagine Dragons), Me In My Own Head (Beartooth), Dead (Major Moment), Living Your Life Like This (Major Moment), and Nothing Left To Lose (The Alan Parsons Project). Yes I have a whole playlist for him. There's more.
Paradox's sense of humor is in subtlety, irony, and sarcasm. Often at someone else's expense because he can't admit to being wrong.
Raven (from Box Factory)
My favorite trait of Raven's is their determination and courage and unwillingness to back down even in the face of danger, regardless of the personal cost.
My least favorite of their traits is their inability (or unwillingness) to process or feel their own emotions (they just repress them). They're a great listener and give good advice and they're generally happy and outgoing and makes a great friend but they make people worry about them. A lot. Sometimes. The weirdest thing about it all is that they are actually legitimately fine.
Their theme song is Harder Better Faster Stronger by Daft Punk.
Their sense of humor lies mostly in sarcasm (like Victor, not in a rude or offensive way), and irony. They make basically everything into a joke (actually that's probably how they deals with their emotions). Unless it's something that affects others negatively. They take others seriously but are lighthearted and goofy themselves and prefer to be taken as such.
Aseroth (also from Box Factory!)
My favorite trait of his is his genuineness at attempting to fit in with the earth-dwellers while he's on earth (he's a part-time soul reaper who has free access to earth, the afterlife, and the realm between and spends his off time in whichever plane he wants).
And of course his addiction to coffee is always funny. Does that count as a trait?
My least favorite of Aseroth's traits issssss I don't know I love him but I guess I'd have to say his feeling like he should have done more at times because, like Aitch, he deserves only the best.
Aseroth's theme song is If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickelback. There are other songs that could be associated with him but they relate to specific times in his life.
Aseroth has a pretty deep sense of humor, having been around for generations. A lot of the time his humor revolves around things he forgets humans have no way of knowing about. So when everybody turns to stare at him he just shuts up. (After he makes human friends they introduce him to the internet though and his sense of humor probably deteriorates a lot lol)
Ironically enough, one of the things he never jokes about is death. He knows the pain death brings to those who still live and takes it very seriously.
#thank you for the ask!#thank you so much this was so fun#oc asks#Agent Aitch#Another World#Victor Stevens#Home Street Home#hsh#Paradox#Last One Standing#Raven Jones#Aseroth#Box Factory#oc stuff
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Perspective
Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)
Warnings: Swearing
Genre: Fluff, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: Corpse recounts the time he first met his now best friend who too has been gifted with a deep voice.
Requested by two Anons. This fic is a mash up of two very similar requests I got from an unnamed Anon and 🖤🥀 Anon, so a big thank you to the both of you for sending in your requests! I’m really sorry to be posting your requested fic so late but I hope the final product is gonna make the wait you had to endure worth it! If you come across it and read it, I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤
“Yeah, yeah ok, I know.“ I can’t help but playfully roll my eyes at the comments that are flooding in, “Before any more people address it - even though it’s only been five minutes - I’m gonna address it myself: I apologize for the absence of the guest I promised would accompany me on this stream. She made the choice to party until late - or should I say early - and is currently probably asleep. And...I just don’t have the heart to wake her.“
In all honesty, all the blame should fall on Y/N’s lack of responsibility but I could never say such a thing - she rarely let’s herself loose and allows herself to have fun so there’s no way I’m gonna hold this one instance against her. Quite the contrary actually: I hope she starts going out and having fun more frequently cause really deserves it. She’s a super hardworking girl, studying college and working her ass off simultaneously.
“For those of you who don’t know who I’m referring to: the girl in question is Y/N, aka Jumpscaretastic, a horror games oriented streamer. She was supposed to join me for this freaky journey but...yeah I’ll have to endure it on my own because fuck me.“ I take a look at my chat again, deciding to keep this interaction with my viewers going for a bit longer before I start the game. I may be stalling but you sure as hell won’t hear me admit it. The game may be terrifying as hell - I have no doubt it is - but I doubt it would affect me so much if Y/N was here.
My eyebrows furrow automatically at the sight of one specific question that I’ve been getting asked quite a lot recently and I’ve been doing my best to avoid it cause the idea - to me, at least - is so messed up. Why, we’ll get into that later.
“No- ok, this is the first and last time I’ll be addressing this wild assumption, you guys, so listen carefully. Y/N and I are by no means related. I’m not related to every deep-voiced person on this planet, just FYI.“ Speaking of Y/N’s deep voice which I’ve gotten so accustomed to hearing, I can’t help but recall the first interaction the two of us had when she got invited by Toast for a game of Among Us with us when Felix canceled on us due to technical difficulties. “I may not be related to her but she really put into perspective how other people feel and react when they hear my voice. I, honestly speaking was astonished by hers.“
A few months ago
“Ok guys, since Felix texted me about an hour ago, saying he won’t be able to make it, I invited a friend of mine so I hope that’s ok with you.“ Toast announces when the majority of us have accumulated in the lobby.
“Yeah, all cool. An introduction to them would be nice though.“ Charlie says, tampering with his avatar’s appearance on the in-game laptop.
“Oh, I’m sure she can do that herself.” He says with a bit of a chuckle, “Y/N?“
“I’m here, I’m here.“
My gaze moves from my chat to the monitor displaying the game in an instant as though it would reveal to me who the owner of this unfamiliar voice that just travelled through my headphones is. You know how my voice is considerably deep, yeah well this girl’s voice is six feet below that.
My eyes have widened without me even noticing as I hurry to unmute myself despite being a little late to the reaction party which already consists of a ton of ‘OMG’s and “WHOA”s from the rest of the people in the call. Not one of them, however, considers to question the authenticity of the voice.
“Was that a voice changer or something?“ I say, my eyebrows shooting up when I hear the laugh I receive in response to the question - a sound so deep but simultaneously sweet and girly it messes with my head.
“I wish I kept count so I could tell you which number on the list of people who’ve asked me that you fall under.“ The girl, Y/N replies, “But for the record no, it’s not a voice changer.“
Realizing how hypocritical this question probably seems coming from me, I decide to believe her - probably cause she gets nothing if she lies anyways.
“Oh, so this is how it feels hearing my voice for the first time, huh?“ I say, slowly nodding my head, still in slight disbelief.
“Yeah, meeting her was quite rattling - in the best way possible though.“ I say, fixating myself back in reality following the little trip back in time to the day Y/N and I met. “She’s now one of my best friends so that should tell you enough.“
It goes without saying that, since she’s my best friend, I know her quite well. That being said, with the detailed knowledge I have on her, I can guess she’s gonna be in for a massive hangover when she wakes up. I just hope she texts me when she does so I can make sure she’s at least semi-functional.
Just then, my phone buzzes with a message. Much to my shock, it’s a message from Y/N. Truth be told, I didn’t expect her to be up for another hour or two or three but here she is, sending a simple text that reads:
“My head’s pounding like a drum mid rock n’ roll concert“
There are no emojis accompanying the message, suggesting she’s deadly serious and in quite a bit of pain. Ok, I won’t sugarcoat it - she’s in a fuck-load of pain right now.
“The Sleeping Beauty has awaken and is complaining about a headache, just in case you were wondering.“ I chuckle seemingly nonchalantly as I silently contemplate whether to text her back or call her instead.
Who’s gonna know better than my viewers, after all...
“You guys think I should call her? Or would that annoy her?“ I ask, furrowing my brows at the chat as I see different responses coming in.
Meh, fuck it - I think to myself, already taking my phone to call Y/N when the support of my viewers floods in as well.
She picks up after two rings, letting out a sound that sets the tone for the discomfort she’s in.
“Hello to you too.“ I say, putting the call on speaker so my mic can pick up her responses. “Would you please rate the pain you’re in right now on a scale 1-10?“
“A hundred.“ Her strained, raspy and deeper than usual voice comes through, stealing a chuckle from me, “I’m hungover and still a bit drunk. Like, how does that even work?“
“The morning after is a straight-up bitch. Welcome to the world of bad decisions.“ I tell her compassionately, low-key wishing I could go over to her place and provide her with at least a tiny bit of comfort, as much as I can.
“Yeah...“ she sighs halfway dramatically, “Anyhow, we usually text around this time, what’s up with the call?“
“Just wanted to make sure my best-girl wasn’t really dying, you know. Who am I supposed to annoy in Among Us if you’re not there, after all?” I raise my brow and, although she can’t see me, I bet she can probably guess I’m doing that.
“Whatever...“ The same way I can imagine her rolling her eyes while smiling as she said that, “Tell me this, am I wrong or was I supposed to be on your stream today?“
I barely manage to hold in my laughter at the question, “Uh, yeah you were, but...” she doesn’t let me finish my sentence, instead cuts me of:
“Oh shit, I’m so sorry, Corpse! I totally forgot. Believe me, if I could roll my ass out of bed I’d hop in but I really can’t. Unless you want me to be a bore for an hour and a half, that is.“
“For starters, you could never be a bore to me.“ I say matter-of-factly, “And for seconds, you’re kinda on the stream anyway...“
“Come again?“ She cuts me off yet again, “You’re calling me mid-stream? If so, hey everyone! Sorry I couldn’t join, I promise to make it up to both you and Corpse soon.“ A yawn comes from her end before she continues, “As of now, I think I’ll go back to sleep.“
“Alright, alright. I’ll call you again later to make sure you’re still alive. Sleep tight.“ I tell her, already hovering my thumb over the ‘Hang up‘ button.
“Won’t let the hangover bite.“ She slurs/murmurs, stealing my opportunity to end the call cause she does it herself.
I stare at my phone for a second, finally becoming aware of the grin that has spread across my face. Eventually, I address my viewers once again, “There you have it, guys. Technically, you can give her a pass for answering the call, especially in her current state, so let’s all agree to not hold this against her, cool?“
A brief look at my chat shows me the ton of fluffy comments that are coming in as a reaction to the interaction Y/N and I just had. One, however, sticks out especially. It reads: ‘You like her or smt?’
“Do I like Y/N?“ I read the comment out loud, a smirk coming across my face, “Of course I do. She’s a darling.“ If I had a webcam on I’d look straight into the lens and wink. That’s probably spark more than enough rumors, but at the very least they wouldn’t be wrong. “I’ve stalled enough, Outlast is waiting.“ I announce, finally starting the game. After all, it cannot be scarier than the conspiracies my fans could come up with. I get it though - from their perspective, we’re already the perfect couple; from my perspective we’re impossible because from Y/N’s perspective we’re best friends.
Ain’t that how it always goes?
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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E129 (March 16, 2021)
Tonight’s guests are Matt Mercer and Taliesin Jaffe!
Matt, on DMing Luc’s Revivify: “That was weird. It’s one thing when it happens because of player action and circumstances and the choices they make. When it’s entirely on me, unintentional, and just realizing different chess pieces you’ve set up, that’s rough.” It was especially rough since this was a child NPC related to a PC. “I was hoping somebody had a spell slot left.” He kept in mind that there are two clerics in the room and that they could resurrect the next day even if the Revivify went poorly. “A good chance, since it’s his first time. Okay, okay, okay, okay, I think we’ll be okay, we’ll see how this goes. It was really stressful in the moment! I did not set out to have that happen, but when I realized what was going to happen, I tried to see it through.” He wouldn’t have prevented a chance to bring him back. “There may have been an offshoot short-run series of games to find a way to bring him back. I would have found some way to correct the circumstance so the players could feel good about moving forward with the story and there was no undue punishment beyond their control.”
Taliesin on Cad’s response: “This is a big thing if you’re a cleric. It was very much coming in like an EMT. Everything should be fine... hopefully. Just focused in and got it done. The minute things started to go south it was like, okay, that’s the next problem.”
On Yeza’s feelings: “It is a very complicated situation. I think he, much like how Veth is trying to figure out what it is that she wants, I think he’s trying to help her find that while also figuring it out for himself. I think Yeza’s also noticing that because Veth’s the more active of the two of them she also takes the weight of the responsibility and the blame for things when they go wrong, unnecessarily. Especially when he himself acknowledges that he’s partially at fault for even dragging everyone in with the Conclave. As much as he’s appreciative for them coming back for him, there’s a lot of back and forth. He’s filled with a lot of regret, too, but he’s very much trying to convince Veth that it’s a burden that she doesn’t have to keep to herself, that they can share it and work through it together.” Matt mentions that, as an actor, he really loves exploring interactions between characters first and foremost. “Especially when you don’t know where it’s going to go.” He also praises Sam as a scene partner - “I really cherish that.”
How does Caduceus feel about Revivify and Speak with Dead? “Speak with Dead is an interesting middle ground, because he knows that it’s not actually speaking with the dead. It’s really just-- it’s almost medical, really. This is just reactivating a brain at a certain point. It’s practically just a muscle twitch at this point. That doesn’t really prod him in that direction. Revivify is interesting, because it had never really come up. At first I thought of it as bending the rules, but it’s not bending the rules. You knock over a plant, you replant it, you don’t stare at it and go ‘Well, that’s over.’ This is just doing the work. No, we can bring this thing back to health. This is all part of the circle of life, that sometimes we can save something. Especially given the stress that he’s put himself through over the past year of being with these people. He’s started to think of himself a bit as a battlefield medic, and triage is just part of the deal, and it’s completely acceptable.”
Did Trent really just want to talk? “Yeah, that circumstance, as it came together, Trent would never have arrived if there wasn’t an indication that there was some kind of infiltration or attack. Even beyond that, it was Jester breaking the concentration on her charm on that one guard when she created her duplicate.” The guards’ job is to inform a member of the Cerberus Assembly, and Trent lived the closest. “He didn’t know who it was, didn’t have any expectation necessarily. The minute he saw the illusion, he knew a powerful magic user was involved.” Seeing Caleb was an unexpected surprise. “I don’t think he wanted to throw down necessarily. He was more interested in figuring out exactly what the nature of this was.” Matt had multiple battlemaps that didn’t get used. “They managed to cleverly out-maneuver him in his surprise of seeing them.” The Nein rocketed up his priority list after that very quickly. Taliesin: “We’re so fucked.”
On Cad being “Uncle Caduceus” to Luc: “It’s the thing he misses most about home, is being a juvenile shit. It’s nice to be able to express that part of him again, as opposed to the serious, life-threatening, constant intensity. I’m very at home just being a little difficult.”
Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Beau! (_rumor_king, photography by kourtyardproductions on Instagram)
On Marion: “Like a lot of people in this whole narrative from the beginning, getting swept up in things larger than her and trying to adapt. This is a circumstance she’s avoided for a long time. She’s having a rough time in some ways, but simultaneously, she’s enduring. Like a mother would. She’s adapting, she’s making it work. Without much of a choice, you just kind of do the best you can and lean on the people around you to help you where they can. Luckily she has a daughter there. She’s probably surprising herself at how well she’s doing given the circumstances.” Matt talks about how weird it is to feel proud of character he’s created. “Of the many things Marion is incredible at, she’s a studier of the human condition. She’s seen and heard the stories of so many. That gives her a very special perspective. She can see elements of that fractured individual within Caleb, and knowing the good that he’s brought to his friends, and knowing he’s possibly saved her life from bad circumstances, she couldn’t not speak up. She very easily falls into that role of maternal comforter, because it’s one of the many things she’s really good at, she enjoys it, and she can see well when people need it.” He’s been enjoying having Marion along for this (despite the difficult circumstances) because he was always a little sad that they only got to see her for short periods of time.
On the Blooming Grove’s safety: “He’s afraid that it’s a premonition. He’s not pinned it down, but he’s happy to let his imagination wander. He at the very least feels like there’s a reason he’s having these thoughts, and that there’s a reason to go there. He’s a big believer that these things don’t just happen. He’s more likely to think that there’s a good reason to go versus a danger to go. He’s had a couple of ominous warnings lately, and he’s not used to them and not a fan. He’s more likely to read something like that as, there is something there waiting for you that you have to discover. There is something that is going to be helpful to you, even if it hurts.”
On Astrid: “While maybe not as readable in overall personality as Trent is, I still want to be careful to not discuss things that are still being discussed within the game and tossed around as possibilities. Astrid is another complicated character, as anyone would be who’s been through the life she has. I can’t say too much. I can say she’s definitely legitimately happy to see Bren/Caleb after all this time.” His reemergence definitely caught her off guard. “We’ll have to see where it goes from there.”
On Cad’s successful Divine Intervention: “He’s definitely hit the ‘on a mission from god’ stage. He’s been that way for the entire campaign of, this, this is what I’ve been waiting for. Even when it sucks a lot, it’s been nice that those things have popped up to remind him, no, no, you’re doing it right, everything’s good. Probably not going to survive the next week, but you’re doing good! Not quite 1 in a 100 chance, but I forget so often to make that roll, and it’s such a great roleplaying roll. I don’t know how at level 20 you could deal with the fact that you can do that every day.”
On Zeenoth getting his comeuppance: the kidnapping was a concept Marisha brought up for Beau’s backstory, and Matt went with it even though it was opposed to the Cobalt Soul’s philosophy because he knew rooting it out would make for an interesting story. “I felt it was an important beat to bring to her, because it was something that she was wronged by. And to show that there are still some good people out there who are trying to make things right.” After the tentative peace, dealing with this became Dairon’s next focus. “I was glad we finally got to it. So many people don’t have the opportunity in their lives to get that sort of justice and vindication, so if I can bring elements of that justice into our world, even for our own hope, I’m going to do that. Especially for my wife’s character, especially for a character that deserves that.” Taliesin points out that if it had come too early, Beau wouldn’t have believed it.
Cad’s thoughts on the Tomb Taker betrayal? “He knew it was gonna come at some point. There was no way that was gonna last. He was hoping it was gonna last a little longer. He was really hoping they had a vested interest in getting them all the way to the end. Nope, this is apparently as far as we go, and he was not prepared for that.” He was expecting the potential for de-escalation. “Caduceus is the only character in there that doesn’t have a history with Lucien. I think he sees him a little more clearly than everybody else does. They’re all looking for this person that Clay, at least, is of the opinion that he’s just not there. This is a very manipulative, very dangerous infernal human. Just smarter than all of them. Really aware that there is no calculating what the hell is going to happen. Conversation is the only way you can deal with someone like that.”
Fan Art of the Week: An amazing Caleb closeup! (rynn_birb on Twitter)
Taliesin on Lucien: “I’m excited he’s the one that’s going to kill us all. Poetic that this is how the game ends.” Matt was delighted when Taliesin handed him carte blanche to do what he wanted with Molly’s past. “I was like ‘shit... oh, wait!’ The character of Lucien was always intended to be an antagonist so that it would have been Molly being chased by the person who wanted their body back. But then it happened that he got his body back.” Taliesin: “He’s so much worse than I ever hoped.”
Matt, on the Holy Avenger: “I hadn’t thought to initially even give that sword.” The good roll was the only reason Kima handed that over. “Well, sure, you get the sword. It was very reactionary, it wasn’t my intent originally. I was like, well, I mean, there’s two avenues she can take with this.” Multiclass into Paladin, or lean into the fact that her subclass is essentially a barbarian paladin. “This really works out in a uniquely beautiful way. Let me see if I can lay out a path for her to earn it.”
On Cad’s attempt at lying blowing up in his face: “He was like that kid that had a really bad day in high school and was like, you know what? I’m going to let loose. This is it. I’m gonna dye a streak in my hair. And then tries to give himself a haircut and ends up with half bangs. Well, okay, obviously I’m not that person. I was feeling a little distraught and I didn’t handle it well. Maybe I’m going dark... no, I’m not going dark. Nope.” Matt mentions how much he relates to Caduceus.
Matt, on the Eyes: “What can I tell you? I’m enjoying the hell out of it. The moment they began to really push to read that book, I was like, okay, this is on you. I’m excited for the point in the narrative where the march continues back to Eiselcross. I am almost impatient - not really - because we’re on the cusp of getting to more of the meat. There’s so much to learn, so much to see, so much to explore. I love instilling my players with absolute terror.”
Thoughts on Jester’s Tarot reading? Taliesin cackles. “Molly made the cards, so. Did it to himself, he did, he did.” Matt: “Once again, another example of things working out unexpectedly and too perfectly for an improvised moment. Fuck.” Taliesin: “Bless the wisdom of chaos.” Matt: “I love that even at this point in the campaign, Molly continues to fuck with people. I’m just so proud. That deeply shook Lucien, for reasons.” Taliesin: “It’s the everlasting gobstopper smoke bomb.”
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I totally support all the upstead people, but I think Hailey needed to deal with her shit before they got any more serious. She seems like a very broken person (even before the season finale last year), she seemed all over the place and I think they should have had her get to a better place before them living together or getting engaged, which felt rushed, and then married. Just my two sense, it's totally cool they are together, but it felt messy.
Oh anon.
Look, everyone's entitled to their opinions. Ship upstead or don't ship upstead. Like Hailey or don't. Your choice. What's you don't get to do is invalidate people and their experiences by calling them broken.
Next time you want to go and call someone broken, it would probably be wise to not do it in the ask box of someone who works as a trauma therapist and will now be using this post as an opportunity to educate you on why we don't call people broken. Not characters who have a trauma history. Not real people. No one.
First off, it's incredibly stigmatizing. Calling people broken and making them feel bad for the things that have happened to them, it's another way of blaming the victim. It stops people from reaching out and getting help because they believe they are "too broken" to be fixed. Hailey is not broken because of what has happened to her, both her abuse history as a child and what happened at the end of season 8. It makes her human. Sure, she struggles at points and she has valid trauma responses (difficulties with emotional vulnerability and intimacy at times in season 8).
But that is not brokenness. Those are responses that are adaptive in the environment where she was raised. Not getting close to people and keeping her emotions to herself kept her safe her entire childhood. And just because you leave that unsafe environment does not mean you automatically stop having those responses. It can be hard to learn emotional vulnerability and how to trust people when your whole life, that was not a safe option. Difficulties doing this after experiencing trauma does not make someone broken.
Also, you do not get to label someone else as broken. They are entitled to label themselves however they want. They can feel whatever they want. If someone wants to call themselves broken, that is their choice. THEIR choice. But for you to look at their experiences and their reactions to those experiences and blatantly say that they are "broken" is incredibly invalidating.
Moving on to the relationship piece. Once again, you don't have to ship upstead. I'm not on this big rant because I want you to ship upstead. But the upstead storyline means a lot to so many people because it is showing you can heal along with way while finding love. So often after we experience traumatic events, we feel incapable of love. Hailey explicitly says she never learned how to do relationships.
But we see her trying. We watch as she tries to figure it out and tries to navigate what a relationship looks like in the midst of having a chaotic job and dealing with her own personal traumas. That storyline represents so many people and it's why they have connected with her.
The relationship is messy? Well, life is messy. People are messy. And complicated and beautiful and so many other things. You don't always have to have everything figured out before you enter into a relationship. For some people, they do and that's okay. But Jay and Hailey had a strong foundation and they are able to support each other while they figured out the whole relationship thing and as they both navigated their past traumas and ghosts. It's a real and authentic relationship and that is not taken away because they've both experienced trauma or because they got married after a year of dating.
Hailey is not broken. People are not broken. And I sure hope whoever sent in this post is still reading this and maybe has a better idea of why they should not call people broken. People are often walking around with so much more going on than you know. Don't invalidate their experiences. Don't blame them for their experiences by calling them broken. Don't be a jerk. Even when people are acting in ways that you don't understand or don't agree with, try to be kind and have an open mind. I promise you that kindness does much more good.
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If you need me, let me know (Wanda Maximoff/ Reader)
Hello!
Can I just say thank you for all the positive feedback I received for "Leave, then go"? I'm so happy you all enjoyed since this idea is fairly different. Here is more double Lizzie! Also known as "Love me (Or let me go)" part 2. Let me know what you all think! :)
Summary: Y/n attempts to navigate being there for Leigh and becomes closer with Wanda. Minor angst but also fluff.
The unexpected sound of your phone piercing through the stillness of the night paired with the bright light of your screen coming to life in the darkness startled you out of your sleep. A quick glance at the time showed you that it was well past one in the morning.
Leigh.
The surprise of seeing her name through bleary eyes almost made you miss the call. Almost. She had been isolating herself for almost two weeks now. Not that you blamed her considering the circumstances.
In a daze, you dragged your finger across the screen to accept the call. “Is this a booty call?” You joked groggily, as your muddled mind slowly began to wake up.
“Yeah. This was a mistake.” Leigh’s reply floated through the line, her tone displeased.
You pressed your palm roughly into your temple, annoyed at yourself. You nervously rushed out a reply hoping she hadn’t hung up yet. “Wait! Leigh, I’m sorry. I was joking. Wrong time. Noted." You paused slightly. "Are you okay?”
Leigh’s next response was quiet, practically inaudible. “I couldn’t sleep.”
As soon as you heard her reply you worriedly sat up on your elbows. Your eyes drifted over to the keys on your desk. If she said the word, you’d be there in an instant. “That’s understandable. Wanda was telling me you seemed overwhelmed when you met her. Is there something I can do to help?”
A tense silence hung in the air and for a moment you were sure she had actually hung up on you. “Seriously? You’ve been talking to her?” The sounds of her moving around drifted from the phone. “Why have you been talking to her?” Everything in you wished you hadn’t said anything.
You should have known better.
Even over the phone you could feel Leigh’s icy stare. “Wanda doesn’t know anyone else around here. I wanted to offer her some support. I don’t know… She’s nice.”
“And I’m not nice?”
You sputtered in shock. “What? Leigh, I never said that. We were talking about Wanda.”
Just as you were about to add more Leigh’s voice interrupted your own. “You know what? Let’s just pretend this call never happened. Goodnight.”
“Leigh-” The dial tone replaced her voice before you could say anything else.
With a groan you threw yourself back against your bed. Every conversation with Leigh felt like bomb defusing and it seemed like you could never stop them from exploding in your face.
Creating a bond with Wanda didn’t mean that you wanted to push Leigh out of your life. You couldn’t.
Leigh was in your veins.
Admittedly, you did speak to Wanda almost daily, but it was mainly over the phone. You had only seen her once since the discovery, briefly. She had randomly got called into work which ended your lunch early.
That day you had seen that she was troubled, so you offered her an ear and a shoulder to lean on which she tentatively accepted. You would have done the same for Leigh had she not rejected each attempt you had made to reach out to her.
The difference between them was that Wanda let you be there for her where Leigh used all her energy to push you away. The only reason you even knew what was going on was because Wanda confided in you. That’s how you learned Leigh was a triplet. Or well… was since Wanda brokenly informed you that their brother had passed away. Leigh would never get to know him.
Even with Leigh pushing you away, you knew you had to keep trying to be there. Maybe it would just have to be in a different way than you were there for Wanda.
______________
As gently as you could you placed the box on the doorstep and took a step back. You pulled out your phone to send a quick message before you left.
Hey. You’re probably asleep
or just don’t want to talk.
I just want you to know I’m
here for you. I said I would be
and I intend to keep my word.
So, when you wake up I left a surprise
for you at your front door.
Hopefully the raccoons don’t get
to it before you can.
If you need me, let me know.
Read 2:07 a.m.
You were surprised to see that your message was read almost as soon as you sent it. This time you didn’t expect a reply, but you were glad she had seen the message at the very least. Just as you had reached the end of the walkway you heard the front door open. You kept walking without turning towards the sound, determined to give her space.
“Where are you going?” The shock of hearing her voice caused you to trip on some loose gravel. The quiet sound of her laughter filled the still night around you.
Straightening yourself, you turned to find Leigh with the box in her hands, her head tilted in amusement. “Um. Home?” If you didn’t know better, you would have thought she wanted to say something.
As you were turning to leave again you heard Leigh’s voice. “Do you want to come inside?”
“Do you want me to come inside?” You countered. As much as you tried, you couldn’t control the way surprise seeped into your words.
Leigh playfully rolled her eyes as she pushed the door further open. “Do you expect me to be able to eat a dozen donuts by myself?”
Strolling back up the path you had walked countless times before felt foreign.
Leigh nudged you playfully as she closed the door and you couldn’t help the smile that grew because for a moment everything felt like it used to. It was dangerous and you knew it.
That’s how you ended up cross-legged on Leigh’s bed, the box of donuts between the two of you as you reminisced moments from your past.
Moments that were safe to reminisce anyway.
“In my defense I did say, David, if you call her that one more time I’m going to punch you in the face.”
“And you broke your hand punching him!” Leigh exclaimed through her laughter. Genuine laughter. Warmth blossomed in your chest at the sound.
You groaned and covered your face with your hands. “Don’t remind me. I swear his head was made of concrete. That’s why that’s the only fight I’ve ever been in.” Leigh’s laughter continued. “It was worth it though.” You added quietly.
You were too busy looking down at your lap to notice the way Leigh watched you, a small smile forming on her face. She quickly wiped it away when you looked back up at her. “If you fought every person who’s called me names, you’d be fighting a lot of people, Y/n.”
“Worth it.” You shrugged, refusing to look at her as you fiddled with a loose thread on her sheets.
A comfortable silence settled in the air. “I can take care of myself you know.” The way Leigh’s lips curled into a smile was easy. Light. Unfamiliar to you after all this time.
“Trust me. I know.” The loose thread snapped under your fingers. “Speaking of, how have you been since, well… you know.” You asked carefully, bracing yourself for the explosion that was bound to come from the question.
Leigh took in a sharp breath and for a moment you were sure she was about to kick you out for overstepping. “It… sucks. Finding out I’m adopted. Finding out I was separated at birth and suddenly have a twin sister.” A bitter chuckle fell from her lips. “I can’t say it’s the worst thing that’s happened to me in the last year and a half though.”
There was nothing you could say that would make her situation better. You knew that. Taking a risk, you sat up on your knees, moved the box to the foot of the bed and hesitantly pulled Leigh into your arms. You hoped the touch could offer her the comfort you couldn’t find the words for.
Leigh tensed almost as soon as you made contact and you were sure she was about to push you away and scream at you to get out. Just as your hands began falling away, she relaxed into the embrace, her arms wrapped around you tightly.
You both stayed wrapped in one another’s embrace for a moment. Leigh was the one who eventually pulled away. “Thank you.” Her words were hesitant.
“Of course. You know,” Gently you pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. You quickly folded your hands back together in your lap immediately after. “if you ever need me, you just have to let me know.”
Before you could say anything else, Leigh surged forward and connected her lips to yours. Despite yourself, you couldn’t help the way your lips easily fell into the familiar rhythm. This was wrong. She was vulnerable. This was so wrong.
When you came to your senses you abruptly pulled away, ignoring the way she chased after your lips. “Leigh… We shouldn’t. You’re vulnerable. I don’t want to take advantage.”
Your heart stuttered in your chest when Leigh straddled you.
Resolve was quickly slipping through your fingers when she looked at you like that. “You’re not taking advantage. Y/n… I need this. You need this. We need this.” She leaned forward so her lips lightly brushed over your own with each word she spoke. “Just this last time.” She whispered as she trailed her lips down to nip playfully at your pulse point.
Absentmindedly you ran a hand up her back until it was tangled into her silky strands. “Just like you said the last time.”
The bright light seeping through the curtains woke you up the next morning. You rolled over to find the bed empty, Leigh nowhere in sight. You wanted to say you were surprised, but you weren’t.
As much as you hate to admit it, you would’ve been more surprised if she actually stayed.
Cautiously you made your way towards the front door hoping to make it out undetected. “Y/n?” You mumbled a quiet curse as you turned in the direction of the voice.
“Jules! Long time no see.” You greeted Leigh’s sister, hoping that she wouldn’t comment on your obvious walk of shame.
The smirk on her face let you know she knew exactly what had happened. She had seen it more than enough times to recognize the signs. “Now Leigh leaving for class early totally makes sense.”
Even though you knew Leigh was avoiding you, hearing it from someone else still stung. “On that note, I need to get to work. Bye Jules.”
“Bye Y/n. Good seeing you again.” Jules took a drink of her smoothie and chuckled as you rushed out the door.
It didn’t matter how high Leigh could make you feel in the moment, it wasn’t anything compared to how low she could make you feel after.
_________
For the first time in your life, you were thankful for a chaotic shift as it prevented you from having to think about anything outside of work itself. Until you were able to take your break and look at your phone at least.
Good morning, Y/n.
I was wondering if you were
free tonight? I wanted
to make up for having
to leave early.
Sent 8:24 a.m.
No pressure though!
Sent 9:18 a.m.
The smile that appeared on your face was immediate as you rushed to send a reply back, hoping the offer was still available since she had sent that text a few hours ago.
Hi, Wanda! Sorry for
taking so long to get back
to you. Work was hectic.
Definitely free tonight.
Read 12:04 p.m.
“And every night for you.” You mumbled to yourself with a smile as you watched the bubbles appear, indicating that she was typing a reply.
Great! Does 7 work for
you? I can pick you up.
Sent 12:05 p.m.
7 is perfect!
Read 12:05 p.m.
See you then, Y/n.
Dress comfortably. :)
Sent 12:06 p.m.
Can’t wait.
Read 12:07 p.m.
You felt giddy at the idea of seeing Wanda again as thoughts of her quickly filled your mind, leaving room for nothing else as you went about your day. The day couldn’t move any slower.
__________
Almost as soon as the clock struck 7, you heard a knock at the door and rushed over to find Wanda standing before you with a shy smile. “Hi. Ready to go?”
She’s so beautiful, you thought to yourself in awe, completely entranced by the woman before you. Nothing else seemed to exist around you when she was around. You noticed that her cheeks flushed a pale pink. “Y/n?” Her eyes twinkled in amusement.
“Sorry! Just zoned out a bit there.” You mentally cursed yourself as you grabbed a jacket and stepped out. “Ready when you are.”
The featherlight touch of Wanda’s fingers grazing the small of your back as she led you to her car set your skin ablaze. “I hope you don’t mind a short hike to get to our destination today.”
Settling into the passenger seat felt easy as Wanda began the drive.
How does she manage to make everything she does look so damn breath taking?
Wanda’s hands flexed lightly on the steering wheel, her lips curling up faintly as though she knew a secret you didn’t. “I don’t mind at all.” You finally replied.
“I’m glad.” Her eyes glanced over at you momentarily before settling back on the road. “How was work today? I remember you saying it was hectic.”
Someone wanting to know about your day felt unfamiliar to you. It was a nice change. “Work was good. There was this little boy, adorable, but he was so scared to get a shot. He was hiding behind his mom the whole time. Wouldn’t even come out to play with some of the blocks we had in my office.”
Wanda hummed to let you know you had her attention. “What did you do?”
A short chuckle fell from your lips as you watched the curvy road pass you in a blur. “He became so brave the second I pulled out this Iron-Man action figure we keep in my office. It was adorable. It was like he wanted Iron-Man himself to see he was brave, you know? I let him keep that toy after he got the shot. It was one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen.”
“It’s sweet that you’re so good with children.” The sincerity in her words made you blush.
“I try to be. Part of the job description.” You joked lightly as you deflected the compliment.
Wanda nodded faintly, acknowledging the deflection as she changed the subject. “Do you know much about him?”
You shifted slightly so you could get a better look at her. “My client?”
The was a faint hint of tension that lurked beneath the nonchalance of her next words. You didn't understand why. “No. Iron-man.” She coughed slightly. “I know some people are big fans of his and you know... you had his toy in your office.”
Unable to help yourself, you chuckled slightly. Maybe she was wondering if you were a fangirl. “I buy a lot of different toys every few months or so to keep in my office for situations like this. I also have aliens, barbies, teddy bears. It depends on the kid.” You explained. “I really only know Iron-Man’s name because of the toy. I don’t know much about the revengers in general though.”
“The Avengers.” She corrected before she could stop herself. You noticed that she winced slightly.
You snapped your fingers. “Right, I always seem to get that mixed up. They typically stay on the east coast, so I don’t pay much attention to them. I do respect what they do though.”
Wanda’s shoulders fell slightly, almost as though she was relieved. “We’re here.” She informed you as she pulled off to a dirt space on the side of the curvy road.
When you stepped out of the car, you looked around as Wanda got something out of the trunk. “Yup.”
Wanda stopped at your side. “What?”
You looked over at her and squinted your eyes slightly. “This is the part of the movie where you kill me.”
For a moment she stared at you in surprise until her eyes crinkled and an unabashed laugh fell from her lips. “I promise that was never in the plans, Y/n.” She held out a hand. “The path can be a little tricky.”
Without hesitation, you slid your hand into hers as she led you forward into the dark night, the path only lit by the moon shining brightly above your head. There was something about Wanda that made it easy for you to place your trust in her. There was goodness to her. You’d follow her just about anywhere.
You continued to walk beside her in silence, the cool metal of the rings that adorned her fingers against your skin calmed you.
If it weren’t for her hand in yours, you’d be lost in the breathtaking sight before you when she finally came to a stop.
“Wow…” You breathed out, as your breath hitched in your throat.
Wanda looked over at you, a tentative smile on her face. “Do you like it?”
On stunned feet you stepped closer to the edge, feeling Wanda’s hand fall from your own. “Wanda, it’s amazing. How did you even find this place?”
“A lot of wandering. I like to come up here to think. To get away from it all. To find peace.” You heard her respond from behind you as you took in the bright lights of the city in the distance.
When you turned back you found Wanda setting a blanket on the floor. “I hope I’m not taking away from your peace by being here.”
Wanda pat the space beside her. You took a seat as you both took in the view. “You could never. For some reason, I feel at peace whenever you’re around.” She admitted, her gaze dropping to the blanket.
Your breath hitched again, but the view had nothing to do with it this time. “I feel the same with you.” You placed your hand over hers.
When her glimmering emerald eyes lifted up to meet yours you were sure you forgotten to breath entirely and for a moment it seemed as though the world around you slowed down. All that you could see was Wanda, and you could never look away. You didn't want to look away.
Your chest tightened as you watched her shift forward ever so slightly. You wanted to kiss her. You wanted nothing more than to kiss her… But it wouldn’t be fair to her. Not after last night with Leigh. Wanda deserved more.
With that in mind you begrudgingly turned away and looked back out in the distance. “Is everything okay?” Wanda questioned cautiously, unsure of what just happened.
“Oh, sure. Just a prisoner of my own mind. The usual.” You mumbled petulantly as you picked at the grass.
The curiosity in Wanda’s eyes came back in full force, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to look up and get lost in those eyes again. You wouldn’t have the strength to look away and not give into to what you desperately wanted a second time.
“In a sense aren’t we all prisoners of some sort? Prisoners to our memories, or fear, or disappointment…” Wanda tugged at her sleeves. “Aren’t we all defined by something we can’t change?” She added quietly.
You laid back, so you could look up at the moon through the trees. “I think we’re all defined by what we chose to allow ourselves to be defined by. Like you said, by memories, or fear, or disappointment. Even love and happiness. We chose, so maybe we can change it.”
You could feel Wanda lay beside you more than you could see it, her head rested softly against your own. “I would want to be defined by love.” She whispered.
“Yeah…” Like magnets your hands found one another in the open space between you two. “Me too.”
Once again, you realized that you could lose yourself in this moment. You would never be happier to be lost as long as you were getting lost in Wanda. The sound of your phone chiming in the night went unnoticed as you and Wanda spoke well into the night.
You both stayed there until the first breaks of daylight peaked over the horizon. The sky had never looked more golden or beautiful than when you had seen it reflected in her eyes.
Part 2! This was actually so fun to write (even if I did face a minor block). Hopefully this part made the dynamic that the reader shares with Leigh a bit more clear and developed what the reader is building with Wanda further as well. Don't worry, more will be revealed as the story progresses. Also Wanda has powers which will lightly come into play later.
Let me know what you all think, I'm excited to hear back! Thoughts and comments always welcome. :)
Tag list: (Please bear with me this is my first time trying this, let me know if I missed you.)
@khiaraaa-in-spacee @halobaby @madamevirgo @aimezvousbrahms @trikruismybitch
@marvels-writings @izalesbean @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo
#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff#wanda#wanda marvel#wanda maximoff fic#wanda maximoff imagine#wanda maximov#wanda x reader#wanda maximoff x you#wanda x y/n#wanda x you#wanda mcu#leigh shaw#leigh shaw x reader#sorry for your loss
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Pairing: Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla
Word count: no idea
A/N: This is my first fanfiction that I’m posting out in the world! This takes place an hour or two after the end of Star Wars Rebels Season 2 Episode 7: Wings of the Master. I found a fanart when surfing the internet for Kanera content (as one does) a few months ago and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since! I don’t know whose work the art is but I’ll paste it on here! If anyone knows who it’s by, please let me know :) the art isn’t mine, but all of the writing is! Obviously, Kanan isn’t blind yet in this fic like he is in the fanart. I hope anyone who reads this likes it!! I’m hoping to post more fanfiction in the future—I have three others in the works already! I’m open to any and all feedback!
Hera rubs her temple as she steps out of the promotion briefing. Her head buzzes with new intel, and plans zip through her mind like starships. She is honored and ecstatic about her promotion to Phoenix Leader. At the same time, though, she can already feel the new responsibility settling onto her shoulders, all of the lives that will soon be placed under her supervision weighing on her. Hera can and will take on all of the privileges and authority her new position grants her, and she fully intends to own it, too. Still, her heart is heavy.
Truthfully, she’s still struggling with the losses they suffered on the first attempt to deliver supplies to Ibaar. Hera had been so determined to complete that mission, to find the right ship to make it possible, that the grief and sensation of failure hadn’t caught up with her. She had made sure of that. There wasn’t time to be crippled by guilt and loss when there was a mission to complete. Now that the mission was over, however, she can feel the effects of the losses setting in.
Thoughts swirl through her mind as she continues to head down the hallway towards the bay where the Ghost is docked.
If I had just let us turn back—if I hadn’t told everyone to keep going—maybe Phoenix Leader and the people on the transport would have survived.
She’d made the wrong call. Hera can still hear the panic-filled voice crying out, “Captain Syndulla!” as the transport—and the people inside—were blasted into a thousand pieces. She’d let her determination blind her, and lives had been lost because of it.
Guilt pours into her, paralyzing her. She stops walking in the middle of the empty hallway and steps into a nearby alcove to process it all. If I make a mistake like that again, the consequences will be worse now that I have more responsibility. What if I let everyone down?
Her churning vortex of thoughts and feelings is interrupted by a pair of strong, green-clad arms embracing her from behind, and a deep, warm voice comes from above her. “How’s it going, Captain?”
Pleasure surges through her lekku. His timing is perfect.
The pleasant surprise washes all of the guilt, fear, and sadness away, at least for now. Hera lets out a little “hey” of protest as Kanan Jarrus pulls her nearly off her feet, but an irrepressible smile spreads over her face. She closes her eyes and turns her face towards his, relishing the warmth emanating from him and the way his presence soothes her. Hera places her hands on the arms that envelop her, returning the embrace through a gentle squeeze.
“Better now, love,” she tells him. He releases her slightly so that her feet are fully on the ground and places his chin on her shoulder, still holding her close.
“And you usually hate PDAs.”
“If I’m not mistaken, there’s no one in this hallway.”
“What would you have done if there were?”
Hera is silent for a moment, eyes still closed. “Nothing differently.”
She can feel him grin. “Great,” he replies. “Because there’s someone walking by now.”
Hera’s eyes fly open and search the hallway—which is still empty. She elbows him. “Kanan!”
A deep laugh vibrates out of his chest. She rolls her eyes, but allows herself to settle back into his embrace.
“Really, though,” Kanan says gently, all traces of mirth disappearing. The care in his voice sends another ripple of affection through her lekku. “How are you? I could tell you needed this.”
“And you were right,” Hera admits as he guides them down onto the alcove’s bench, arms still entwined around her. Normally, she’d break away now to explain what she was feeling, the thought of fellow rebels walking by and being made uncomfortable by their display of affection present in her mind. This time, however, she isn’t ready to move away from him. Besides, this isn’t a heavily trafficked hallway anyway. She does move to the side rather than sitting on his lap, though, her shoulder overlapping his. “It’s those people we lost the first time we went to Ibaar to deliver the supplies,” she begins, her voice heavy with returning guilt. “They died because of me.”
Kanan lifts his head from her shoulder, his aquamarine eyes staring seriously into hers. “Hera, no.”
“They told me they were taking heavy fire,” she continues, her voice growing more and more agitated. “They lost their forward deflectors, and I still told them to keep going. I should’ve told them to turn back.” A sound of frustration escapes her throat. “Why am I so stubborn? Why are they putting more people under my leadership after my decision led to several deaths?”
“Hera,” Kanan’s voice cuts through her hysteria, rich and deep and sure. “Everyone here knows that any mission could be their last.”
“I know that,” she responds, voice still thrumming with anguish. “But that doesn’t mean lives should be thrown away just because of one person’s inability to retreat!” She breaks her gaze from his, shaking her head and staring down at the floor. “I don’t deserve that promotion.”
Kanan gently lifts her head so that her eyes meet his again. “No one trusting someone with authority expects them to be perfect,” Kanan reminds her. “Everyone here has made a wrong call, has failed to complete a mission—which you didn’t, by the way—but that doesn’t mean they’re a failure. You weren’t treating anyone like they were expendable—your optimism led you not to give up. You were determined to get those supplies to those in need and refused to give up hope.” Tones similar to those he uses when teaching Ezra a lesson color his voice, though with considerably less frustration. “The only way to rise above your mistakes is to accept the lessons they teach and apply them in the future. Letting your mistakes destroy your faith in yourself isn’t going to help anyone.”
Hera listens intently, his sincerity like a bacta patch on a wound.
“Sato could hear all of the comms between you and Phoenix Squadron, and he didn’t demote you or chastise you. Clearly, he doesn’t blame you for the lives that were lost.” Kanan squeezes her tighter reassuringly. “No one does.”
His voice becomes harder, more insistent. “And of course you deserve the promotion.” He sounds offended at the thought of anyone suggesting otherwise. “You didn’t volunteer to leave the mission—you were committed to seeing it through. But when I volunteered you for the mission to Shantipole, you dove in—literally—and headed straight into a world that no ship is supposed to be able to escape from—but you did. You’d only flown that B-wing once before joining the battle, but you flew it like it was built for you. You’re the reason those supplies did get to those people. When I recommended your promotion, Sato didn’t waste a second before agreeing with me.”
Kanan’s words replace her guilt and grief with a swelling of gratitude and comfort. Hera won’t forget those who had died today. She’ll be more careful to see when a situation requires a retreat, but she won’t let her confidence in herself die. “Thank you, Kanan,” she tells him, her heart full. He places his forehead against hers, and they share a rare moment of contentment and peace, enjoying each other’s presence.
Hera reluctantly breaks the silence after a minute or so, lifting her forehead from his.“We should probably get back home,” she tells the Jedi. “I liked that B-wing, but that doesn’t mean I’m letting the kids wreck the Ghost.” Kanan’s flash of disappointment is so endearing. She lifts his chin reassuringly.
“It’ll be all right, fearless leader.”
Kanan unravels his arms from around her, replying indignantly, “Hey, no, you’re officially the leader now.” They’d had the argument many times, each insisting that the other is the leader of their crew. Hera always tells him that “captain of the ship” and “leader” are two different things.
Now she rolls her eyes, smiling, but doesn’t correct him this time.
“I guess it’s about time we get back, anyway,” Kanan continues before she changes her mind and decides to refute him. “How long has it been since you’ve eaten something?”
Hera’s brows knit as she attempts to remember. “Yeah, too long,” Kanan’s suspicions seem to have been confirmed. “Come on.” He takes her hand and pulls her up, out of the alcove, and into the hallway. They share a comfortable silence all the way back to the Ghost, which Hera now realizes Kanan must have left to come find her. Even more affection for him to rises in her at the realization.
When the cockpit opens, the two release each others’ hands and are greeted by a rush of cheers and pumping fists. Even Chopper waves his grasping arms and spins around in celebration.
“Go Hera!” Ezra yells.
“About time you got promoted,” Zeb grins.
“Congratulations, Hera,” Sabine tells her earnestly.
“Mom got promoted! Mom got promoted!” Chopper chants triumphantly.
Hera chuckles, heart overflowing with fondness for her crew. “All right, all right,” she tells them. “You’re going to make the rest of the ship think that something’s wrong.”
“Who cares?” Ezra says as he pulls everyone into a group hug. “Hera cares,” Kanan replies, but he puts one arm around her and another around Sabine. The hug is a little awkward, with Zeb being so much taller than Ezra and Sabine and Chopper standing in the middle of the circle, but in that moment, the crew feels truly united.
“Okay, I can’t stand Zeb’s smell anymore,” Ezra quips, stepping out of the circle. Chopper rolls over and smacks him with a grasping arm.
“Ow! You always do that!” The blue-haired boy zips into the cargo hold, trying to get away from Chopper, who continues whacking him as he pursues.
The rest of the family shares exasperated smiles.
Kanan nudges Hera forward, dropping his arms from hers and Sabine’s shoulders.
“Lead the way, Captain Hera,” he tells her, that crooked smile of his setting the inside of Hera aglow. “We’re all behind you.”
#kanan jarrus#star wars rebels#ezra bridger#sabine wren#swr#kanera#hera syndulla#kanan x hera#garazeb orrelios#chopper#c1 10p#wings of the master#Hera is the best pilot in the galaxy change my mind#space parents#space mom#space dad#space married#best couple ever#otp
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oh, how we’ve grown.
prompted by an anon from my ask here!
notes: this was probably the fic that stumped me on so many occasions, since it was really bittersweet. editing, grammar and other mistakes will be taken responsible by me! it took me longer than expected and i’m not sure if everyone would be able to catch on how i interpreted the group’s futures and personalities! if anyone would like to know more, do dm me! as always, enjoy and thank you for the support and love!
original prompt: I think Joon Hwi and Sol A was already dating during their 3L (since Sol A looked so comfortable acting flirty and cute aroud Joon Hwi on their way to the old man's trial). Now I wonder what happen with them during time skip and by the ending, what stage of relationship they are in. Can you write a fic or headcanon ab that? Thank you! 🥰
words: 4373 words
it was finally the day of graduation.
joon hwi was beyond excited. he was nostalgic, sad and emotional, for sure. but after crying so many tears yesterday and the past week, he found it useless to cry any further. he lets the adrenaline set in for his new chapter lying ahead.
joon hwi was finally going to be a prosecutor.
his letter came in a few weeks after the bar exam. he counts himself lucky, being one of the students that helped to capture assemblyman ko, solve his uncle's murder, prove his professor's and his own innocence. all in his first year. it was no surprise that when he applied, they immediately wanted him. his grades were just the cherry on top to his stack of achievements. he was certainly overqualified for a guy who just passed the bar.
(well, he did pass the second round judicial exam.)
further than that, he was crowned valedictorian and was tasked to give a speech to his fellow batch mates. he had practiced his speech countless times, and he could recite it in his sleep by now. but he can’t quite place the feeling that he feels. his thoughts are all over and he can’t seem to keep his heart rate constant.
a knock on the door of his now empty dorm room distracts him from his thoughts. there, dressed in similar graduation robes, with long wavy brown hair is kang sol a, or to him, his kang sol. she walks in with a small smile on her face, but her smile fades away to a face of concern after studying his face. her eyes dart to the door, and she strides back to shut the door, giving him and her the privacy that he needs.
"what's troubling you?" she asks gently, taking his hand into hers. a quiet, simple gesture done by sol could soothe him so much. joon hwi is silent, not knowing why he’s so nervous. he’s done speeches and talked to crowds bigger than this. heck, he has testified for court. yet, the knot in his stomach refuses to cease.
“i don’t know… it’s nothing new, yet…” he trails off, avoiding his eyes with his girlfriend. his thoughts race through his head, but it leads back to his uncle, his samchoon, the man that brought him up: seo byungju.
“joon. joon, look at me.” sol brings a hand up to his cheek, gently raising it so it meets her eyes rather than the floor. joon hwi promised he wouldn’t be emotional today, yet he found his eyes glassy when he met sol’s eyes. as a tear slips, her fingers wipe it away gently.
“your uncle… he would be so proud of you to see the boy he raised achieve his dream.” sol says, a voice so quiet and soft, it seems to echo to joon hwi. she always knew what to say and always knew what was troubling him deep down, even if he denied it.
samchoon… are you proud of me?
“i’ll always be supporting you, like how your uncle did. when you’re on stage, if you feel intimidated, just look at my eyes, alright?” sol says, rubbing his cheek. he gives a small smile and nods slowly. taking his hand, sol intertwines it between her fingers, an action that he knows she only does when they are alone. an act so simple, yet his heart was so soothed by then.
joon hwi’s free hand reaches to the back of her head, as he lowers his slightly, so their forehead rest against each other. he breathes her perfume in, the one he bought for her a few months into their relationship, the one that she always wanted but could never buy. he takes slow breathes with her, her thumb rubbing his knuckle gently.
sol pulls away, much to joon hwi’s disappointment. he wanted her skin ship even more, just savouring her touch under his skin. sol notices his disappointment and only gives him a smile.
“they’re waiting for us. come, let’s go.” sol says softly, letting go of his hand after giving him a squeeze. he knows she hates being affectionate in public, even in front of their close friends. he gives her a quick peck on the top of her head before following behind her, walking to the lobby where they were.
“yah, hyung!” bokgi waved with enthusiasm, gathering the attention of the group. joonhwi maintains his composure and lets out a deep breath.
“nervous, hyung?” yebeom asks, his fingers fiddling.
“tch, it’s me. i’ll be fine.” joon hwi replies. it’s a half truth, now that sol is by his side.
“that’s why sol-noona had to find you, right?” bokgi teases, earning a nudge from yeseul. bokgi looks in mocked offence, but he recovers. everyone eyes at sol with prying eyes, the look of teasing on their faces. she takes this moment to shut her eyes, bring her hands up to face and shakes her head while sighing. these kids have literally nothing better to do than to just tease her and joon hwi.
“it’s time. you should go.” jiho says as he nods towards the lecture hall. the ceremony doesn’t start till half an hour later, but being valedictorian, he had preparations to do. they send joon hwi their last words of encouragement, but joon hwi was not going to leave unless he embarrassed his girlfriend a little longer.
his hand reaches up to sol’s hair, sweeping the curls behind her and cutely arranging her fringe the way she likes it. sol blushes as the group ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ in front of them. joon hwi knows she hates being so affectionate in front of her friends, but it’s always fun to tease. sol’s bright red and her face forms the smallest pout. joon hwi knows he’s achieved his mission.
“i’ll see you later.” he says with a wink and walks away, hearing the tease from yebeom and sol squeaking back.
when he’s on stage later, giving his speech, the words fall out of his mouth effortlessly. but the only thing that changes is that his eyes are fixed on the warm brown eyes of sol. as he addresses his late uncle at the end, he pauses and takes a deep breath. sol looks at him and gives him an encouraging nod. he ends his speech, eyes never once leaving her gaze, as the student body claps for him and he takes a bow.
one by one, the students are told to line up and take their certificates on stage from dean oh. she gives the seven graduates a knowing smile when they step on stage, knowing how much they’ve been through, after being swept up by their problems in their first and second years. even after all that, they managed to graduate with excellent results.
when they gather to take their photos (taken by seungjae, who decided to attend their graduation. it was the least he could do to show his support.), joon hwi swears he sees his uncle standing at the rock by the entrance of the school. he swears he sees the knowing silhouette of the tall man, grey hair and his metal spectacles. but what warms him the most is the smile of seo byung ju’s face and the slight nod.
yes, my boy. i’m so proud of you.
with that, joon hwi lets himself smile as seungjae snaps the camera.
(he doesn’t notice his blurred vision from his tears, but rather blames it on the sun hurting his eyes.)
-----
the group takes individual shots of themselves, even jiho and sol b are smiling when their photos are taken. sol doesn’t lose a chance to tease her roomie about her cute smile, one she only reserved for limited situations.
joon hwi watches as his friends spread out across the field to meet their family, sharing the good news of graduation and their new starting jobs. the smiles on the parent’s faces warms his heart deeply, somehow, even though he’s standing alone.
jiho was going to be a prosecutor with joon hwi in their new office. jiho could care less about joon hwi, but he can’t help but admit that it comforted him knowing a familiar face to be in his office in about two weeks. after all, they did share a room for three years.
sol b, against her mother’s wishes, has decided to take a gap year. her mother initially planned for her to continue her training, securing her route to being a judge. but sol b has had enough of her mother’s toxicity. as they went through therapy as a family, sol b had expressed as best as she could her need to discover what she wants for herself, not what her mother wants for her. what she will be doing in her gap year is still undecided, but she has chosen to move out for the time being.
yeseul was going to be in a firm that mostly did cases of women rights. while she initially was hesitant, bokgi encouraged her to take this opportunity, using her experience and her trial as a voice to the other victims. from time to time, she promised professor kim that she would come back to help at the legal clinic.
bokgi, on the other hand, had finally achieved his dream of being a human rights lawyer. while he was upset that he couldn’t work near yeseul, his spirits were immediately lifted when he heard that yebeom was going to be working just at the building across from him, another big law firm. (it was settled that as much as they went through, the bok-beom duo was never to be separated.)
sol, on the other hand, accepted her first job at attorney park’s firm, ironically. just when she had her first internship, she remembers screaming that she would never work with crooked lawyers like him. sol chose to work with him, as a return of the many favours she owes professor yang, starting with the one from high school. it was the most she could do for her role model.
joon hwi observes as he notices the proud faces of mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters, and spots the few sightings of grandparents. somehow, he can’t help but feel a little lonely. his parents, the two individuals he had a short-lived relationship with had long passed. his uncle, the closest thing he had to a father had too passed. he can’t even guess where his aunts or other distant relatives are. his distant relatives probably don’t remember him, and neither does joon hwi.
a small body crashing into him breaks his flow of thoughts, as he looks down to see who it is. byeol wraps her arms around joon hwi’s waist happily and joon hwi breaks into laughter, realising who it is and lifting her before spinning her. she’s giggling in a mess as joon hwi spots sol’s mother and her walking to them.
“ah, hello, mrs kang.” joon hoi greets with formality. sol’s mother playfully smacks his arm with a smile, clearly embarrassed from such formality.
“ah! how many times have i said to not call me that, joon hwi-ah! at this point, you should just call me halmeoni!” she says, earning a big laugh from joon hwi and sol’s face burning with embarrassment.
“umma! don’t say things like this!” sol squeaks back. joon hwi only smiles and insists to call her ‘mrs kang’. byeol is getting introduced to their friends as bokgi and yebeom play a game of tag with her. sol’s mother stands by sol, her hand on her back and her other rubbing joon hwi’s back.
“joon hwi-ah, i hope you know how proud i am of you. sol has told me your own fair share of troubles. i know... you don’t have much of a mother figure in your life, but as your girlfriend’s mother, i hope you know i treat you like my own.” sol’s mother comments to him, holding both his hands in her warm ones. “more than just tutoring my daughter and helping her, you got through your troubles on your own.” joon hwi can only smile as he suppresses the emotions.
“your parents must be so glad to have such a righteous son.”
joon hwi, for a moment, is reminded of his limited memories with his parents. he doesn't remember much, being so young when they died. but how his mother would teach him the importance of kindness and compassion. his father would teach him to be strong, to stand up for the bullies that picked on the poorer kids in his preschool.
hearing his girlfriend’s mother tell him that, he couldn’t help but just pull her into a warm hug. sol joins in from behind, enveloping them with a warm that joon hwi was unable to explain. burying his face into the older woman’s hair, he lets himself be a child, as she rubs his back and holds him lovingly.
for the first time in his life, he finally experiences the warmth of a mother’s hug.
-----
as the field starts clearing out, the seven graduates and seungjae are left behind. their families have gone home, leaving them on the field, laid down in a circle, heads together. there was just silence, as they breathed in the air of hankuk university once more.
once more, as students.
once more, as graduates.
once more, before they step into their next phase.
“i’ll really miss you guys.” sol says quietly. yeseul, lying next to her, nods, although no one can see.
“we’ll meet up. especially you, seungjae-hyung! don’t be shy to ask for babysitters!” bokgi announces, earning a smile from seungjae. they slowly got up from the grass, dusting off the dirt and making their way back once more to the university lobby.
this was the place where these eight students met, all with different objectives and from all walks of life. yet, as different as they are, they got along and went through hell together, for each other. the short lived three years were filled with so many troubles, yet they pulled through together.
truly, they were more than friends. they were family.
seungjae took his leave first, being the family man he was. yebeom had to rush to a family event, and yeseul was going to catch a meal with bokgi. (yeseul promised bokgi to give him a chance once they graduated, and so she kept her promise.) jiho and solb were silently headed off in the same direction with their only conversation being “i’ll drop you off” by jiho and solb nodding. (joon hwi and sol only eye them, making mental notes to tease their ex-roommates.)
“are you going home?” joon hwi asks as sol grabs her bag. after graduating, sol made the decision to move home for the time being, to pay off her loans and support her family and ease her mother of some financial burden. joon hwi has opted many times to help, even wanting to pay off her loans. he had no loans, and after he sold his uncle’s mansion, he had a huge sum of money along with the inheritance. but sol couldn’t do it, she needed to work for this herself.
“yeah. i promised byeol i’ll help her with her work and catch a movie with her too. it’s been long since i could just spend time with her.” sol says. the lobby was now empty, with a few students walking in and out. sol looks at the lady justice statue, almost reminded of the many times she stared at it to remind herself of why she chose law. why she chose this profession.
together, they walk out, holding hands for the first time openly in their school. they were no longer students, and there was no point hiding from others anymore. she was just kang sol; he was just han joon hwi. no more ‘second round judicial pass’, no more ‘uncle killing nephew’, no more ‘klutz’, no more ‘twin failure’. just them.
joon hwi takes the bus to sol’s home, still in the ground floor apartment by an alley. sol’s mother invites him in, but he quickly declines, saying he needs to run some errands back at his own apartment. well, it wasn’t a lie. he just shifted in and he certainly had to clean and unpack.
when the apartment is packed with law books stacked neatly in his bookcase, the floor dusted and mopped, furniture clean and the fridge stocked with fresh groceries, he picks his phone to find seungjae sending the group their photos. there’s numerous comments on how yebeom is already missing us, and even jiho gives a ‘tch’ as a reply in the chat. he notices an unread text from his professor and opens the chat box.
you’re on my speed dial for cases. don’t ignore me.
joon hwi scoffs. he sets his phone aside as he flops back on his bed, for the first time processing all that has happened.
he can’t wait for the future.
(on his wall, he hangs a childhood photo of him and his uncle. on the frame, it has a tag with his daily reminder to judge fairly, and to make sure no one suffers unjustly.)
-----
the next few years for joonhwi are an adventure. his experience in the prosecution office is busy and stressful, but with jiho working just next door, he finds comfort in having him by his side. he battles many cases, slowly but surely, making a name for himself. instead of being known as the man that solved his uncle’s murder, he was now known as the prosecutor that never loses.
the study group kept in touch, meeting every two weeks for dinner at a barbecue place. somedays, they drank. on others, they just chatted and kept the plates of pork coming. seungjae did his best to join, but with his toddler kid, things were difficult.
seungjae took a year after his hearing to be with his wife, and take care of her during her pregnancy. he then decided to work as a forensic examiner. if he couldn't practice law and help people with it, the least he could was to uphold it and enforce it. his job was new and interesting, but he humbled himself to push through his training. he meets the group when they are dealing with criminal cases and helps them out as best he can.
the study group also took turns meeting his kid, and would always love babysitting. sol, as expected, was the best with chaotic duo bokgi and yebeom. instead of dinners some nights, they met at his house to catch up with him and spoil his kid. (seungjae couldn’t stop it. when the kid was born, he immediately gained 7 new aunts and uncles, ready to spoil and pamper him.)
his relationship with sol grew as well. working such long working days was tough, but they tried their best. sol would sometimes deliver homemade stews to his apartment and joon hwi would deliver jjajamyeon with her extra pickles on some nights. they met on the weekends, where they would just go to the park and take strolls or hole up in joon hwi’s apartment to work on their cases together.
sol was doing exceptionally well as a new attorney, almost successfully appealing to all her clients. her clients love her, not only for winning, but for always being so caring to them. many say she still keeps in contact with some clients, even after the case has been closed. while she thinks it is no big deal, sol’s career was climbing up. her loans were fully paid, and she has begun looking into apartments for her family and her to shift out of. that alley brought too much danger, especially with byeol growing into a teenager and her mother’s joints weakening.
sol b took that gap year to work at an administrative office at a law firm, before deciding to continue her law career to gain experience before moving forward to be a judge. throughout the gap year, she split her time on herself and therapy, as well as on her study group. she found herself wanting to be a judge, not for her mother, but for herself.
jiho and sol b also started dating each other shortly after they graduated, when joon hwi spotted sol b and jiho holding hands when he was leaving his office. they only told the group a few months later. but of course, everyone knew by then. ever since then, they caught sol b and jiho smiling a bit more, even if their smiles were just the slight curl at the corner of the lips.
yebeom was doing well in his law firm, handling mostly small cases, but he was content since he had a fun time handling the many cases and making visits to meet clients instead of being stuck in the office. bokgi was a human rights lawyer, with most of his cases about the discrimination of citizens in any aspect. he fought for the rights of those of different sexual orientations, races and religions and was extremely happy being able to do that.
yeseul was defending women of all walks of life, from their unequal treatment to domestic abuse. she was passionate and has made headlines a few times over the years when she chose to speak out about her story. she was well known in this area, being the first few lawyers to be a victim of domestic abuse and defending them. she also kept in contact with professor kim and made regular visits at the legal clinic.
bokgi and her only started dating a year after the graduated. bokgi respected the reasons and her space and yeseul found herself falling in love with him. after all, he stood by her all this while for the whole three years and have seen her at her worst. more than that, he treated her with respect and loved her equally, even after all that.
one day, as joon hwi and sol spent their day on the sofa at joon hwi’s apartment, joon hwi was nervous to ask this question. sol was busy looking at different apartment listings.
“sol, can i ask you something?” joon hwi asks, grabbing her hand. sol nodded, eyes still focussed on her screen.
“would you... would you want to move in with me?” sol’s hand stops scrolling as the words sink in and she slowly faces her boyfriend.
“i... i don’t know. i mean, byeol and umma will be left alone, right?” sol says, her voice quiet and soft.
“we can live near them. i think the lease of the apartment is ending soon, anyways.” joon squeezes her hand.
“but... i don’t know if i have enough money to get an apartment for them and us. joon, i really want to, i really do. but...” sol’s eyes are uncertain, and joon hwi sees her eyes guilty, almost like she feels bad for saying that.
“we can get the apartment in instalments. you can buy one for your mom and byeol first and we will slowly pay for ours.” he says. placing a finger under her chin, he raises it so her eyes meet hers. “sol, they are going to be alright on their own.”
sol nods her head and reaches up to pull her boyfriend’s face to hers, letting their lips connect. his lips are soft against hers, as she taste the slight coffee taste from his mug. it’s almost frenzy, from what started as a simple kiss lead to a fight for dominance. without knowing, sol is straddling joon hwi, as his hands pull back her long hair.
when they pull away, he feels her hot breath on his face, and her face burning red, embarrassed at how she acted.
“should we get back to looking at apartments?” joon hwi asks, a small smile on his face, ultimately an act of tease to her. she quickly nods and climbs off of him as they look at apartments together. joon hwi gives her a knowing smirk, before sol swats his arm and they resume scrolling.
and it was true, when professor yang had him on speed dial.
he was just about to leave for a coffee and bother jiho for a bit at his office one day, when a call came in from professor yang.
“han joon hwi.”
“professor.”
“you’re needed, now. meet me at hankuk university in thirty minutes.” and the call disengages. it was a habit of his professor’s, to give blunt replies and just cut off without saying goodbye. he slips on his blazer and grabs his briefcase before picking up the call from sol instinctively. so much for listening to orders, even though he wasn’t a student anymore.
“called you too?” he asks once he picks up, scribbling on a post it note, noting his early leave from the office.
“what else? gosh, i really hate it when he hangs up like that.” sol replies, a twinge of annoyance in her voice.
“i’ll pick you.” joon hwi says, as he leaves his office, then knocks on jiho’s door. jiho’s head pops up from his laptop, before nodding in acknowledgement.
“no, don’t bother. i’ve already caught the train.” sol replies and joon hwi hears the familiar beeping of train doors. sol knows she’s got to hang up soon, if she doesn’t want to irritate other commenters on the train.
“love you.” he says back. sol’s face is blushing red, but she’s lucky everyone on the train was busy on their phone.
“i love you too.” she whispers before hanging up and storing her phone away in her handbag.
when they meet at the doors of hankuk university each time they are called in for a case, they can’t help but to think of how far they’ve come. sol, the girl with bad grades and on a scholarship. joon hwi, the top student with a hidden secret. yet in a matter of years, they blossomed together with their friends on their routes.
professor yang is by the lady justice statue, and when he looks up to see his students stroll in with authority and confidence, he gives a knowing smile.
shall we start?
#jtbc drama#jtbc law school#jtbc#kang sol a#kang sol b#kang sol a x han joon hwi#han joon hwi#joonsola#solhwi#jeon yeseul#jo ye beom#seo ji ho#min bok gi#yoo seungjae#original by akinosakiya#solhwi by akino#ryu hye young#kim bum#kim beom#law school#netflix#kdrama#korean
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Would love to read both of the nessian drunk fics. But if i had to pick, I’d pick a new both nessian drunk. And hope you’ll post drunk cassian another time❤️❤️❤️
okay multiple people commented saying they wanted to see Nessian drunk together — ask and you shall receive, y’all.
for this one let’s say Nesta and Cassian are best friends/roommates and this is pre-relationship. Modern AU as usual 😌
When Cassian barged into her room with a bottle of tequila in his hands, Nesta knew she was done for.
“I thought we were having a quiet night in,” she whined. She was under her covers with a book and didn’t want to stop reading so close to the good parts — the main characters had finally given into their desires and were about to have wildly passionate sex — but her best friend had a way of asking her to do things that made it really hard to say no.
“I lied,” he said simply. “I’m bored out of my mind and you promised you’d play truth or dare with me two weeks ago.”
“You remember that?” she asked skeptically. He’d gone out with his friends and Azriel had called her begging for her to take an extremely drunk Cassian back home, and she’d promised to play truth or dare with him in exchange for him coming home without a fuss.
“Of course I did,” he said. “You promised.”
Nesta looked away, willing her cheeks not to flush at his words. He’s your best friend, she reminded herself. He doesn’t think about you like that.
Cassian and Nesta had been best friends for as long as either of them could remember. They’d been inseparable ever since elementary school when the Archerons had moved to Velaris and Cassian had taken one look at her and declared she was going to be his best friend forever.
They’d been living together for a couple months; it had seemed like a good idea at the time, but once she realized how she felt about him, it was absolute torture. She couldn’t escape him, whether it was the sight of him coming back hot and sweaty from the gym or the sounds of him fucking somebody who wasn’t her. But that wasn’t his fault — she’d never blame him for living his life. She was the one stuck on someone who had only seen her as a friend, not him.
A few minutes later she joined him at their small kitchen table, the bottle of tequila sitting in between them. She motioned for him to go first since he was the one who wanted to play.
Cassian smiled widely and her heartbeat sped up at the sight. “Truth or dare, Nes?”
“Truth,” she said.
“What’s the real reason you dumped Tomas?” he asked. She tried to hide her grimace but he caught it; they knew each other far too well. “I don’t believe you just didn’t work out or whatever you tried to tell me.”
She just shook her head and grabbed the bottle of tequila, making a face as it burned down her throat. There was absolutely no way she was admitting that she’d dumped Tomas because she couldn’t stop thinking about him.
“Truth or dare, Cassian?” Nesta asked once she’d swallowed.
“Dare,” Cassian said with a smirk.
“Text the last person you hooked up with and ask them to rate the encounter,” she said.
“Can’t text my hand,” he replied. She rolled her eyes and he chuckled before pulling out his phone. “I’ll let you know when I get a response, sweetheart. Truth or dare?”
They went back and forth for a few rounds, Nesta absolutely refusing to take a dare while Cassian exclusively picked them. Eventually she was feeling a solid buzz and he was still completely sober, so he took a few shots to catch up with her out of the “goodness of his heart,” according to him.
“Can’t have you drinking alone,” he said with a wink.
“You’re insufferable,” she said, but they both knew she didn’t mean it. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth,” he replied.
She raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Okay. Why don’t you ever settle down with any of the people you bring home?”
Cassian seemed equally surprised by her question, but he didn’t balk. “Because the person I really want isn’t into me.”
“Bullshit,” she said, complete with a little giggle. She was feeling warm and loose all over, which definitely meant she should slow down with the tequila, but she was actually starting to have fun now. “You’re a nice guy.”
“Just a nice guy?”
“Don’t make me spell it out for you.”
“Isn’t that what best friends are for, Archeron? Let’s hear it. Truth or dare?”
“Dare,” she said, feeling bold.
“Okay,” he replied. “I dare you to tell me all the things you like about me.”
Nesta laughed, the sound bubbling out of her at how ridiculously easy that was. If only he knew how much she thought about him. “You have great hair. Nice smile. You’re funny. And you’re completely ripped, you could probably bench press me.”
“You want me to try?” Cassian asked. He had that mischievous look in his eye that she loved and she knew she couldn’t say no.
“Yeah, okay,” she agreed. They were both drunk enough that it seemed like a good enough idea.
She watched as he laid down on the floor and raised his arms, motioning for her to come closer. She almost tripped over her own two feet as she got up, but managed to make it over to him without any other issues.
She giggled again as he lifted her like she was nothing. “You’re so strong.”
“You’re light as hell,” he said. His hands shifted under her as he lifted her again, and she tried not to squirm from how close his right hand was to her ass. “Maybe I should be feeding you more.”
“But I’m not hungry for food,” she whined, her deepest desires slipping out before she could think to shut her mouth.
Cassian lowered her down to the floor and turned over to face her, his hazel eyes drawing her in much more than usual. “What are you hungry for?”
“I shouldn’t have said that,” she said. She pressed her hand over her mouth to stop her from saying anything else, cursing her loose tongue.
“Tell me,” he said, reaching out to poke her. When she didn’t say anything he started tickling her stomach, his big hands no match for her much smaller ones. She was crying from laughter within two minutes as she failed to keep him away from her.
“I’ll never tell,” she said, gasping for breath.
“Just admit it,” he demanded, laughing. He swung his leg over hers to keep her from squirming away and she immediately froze at how close he was to her. He froze too, not sure what to do now that she wasn’t trying to actively get away from him.
“It’s my turn for truth or dare,” she whispered. He nodded sagely, the moment suddenly feeling much more serious now that their laughter had died down. “Truth or dare, Cassian?”
“Dare,” he said back. He moved her a little closer with his leg and she was so tempted to run her fingers through his hair. Or to bury her face in his chest.
Nesta was feeling bolder than she’d ever felt before when it came to him, but that was mostly thanks to the tequila. “I dare you to kiss me.”
Cassian stared at her for what felt like too long and she wondered whether she’d crossed a line. He was her best friend, and if she was wrong, she didn’t want things to be weird. What if he’d never thought about her in that way? She supposed she could blame it on being drunk, but she wasn’t drunk enough for it to be convincing. What if—
The thoughts in her head completely emptied out as she realized he was kissing her, his lips soft and warm and tasting of tequila against her own. She kissed him back hungrily and realized maybe he hadn’t seen her as just a friend like she’d assumed after all.
#acotar#acosf#nesta archeron#cassian#nesta x cassian#anon asks#nessian prompts#drunk Nessian#modern au#best friends to lovers
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