#setting boundaries online

[viiprincipium]

Dangers of Social Media: The Link to Sadness and Depression

Social media, designed as a platform for connection, has become an inseparable part of our lives. We scroll, we like, we comment, we share. Yet, beneath the surface of memes and status updates lies a more complex web of emotions, including spikes in dopamine, our brain's reward chemical. But when these dopamine spikes fade, many users are left feeling emptier than before, and in some cases, this spirals into feelings of sadness and depression.

Understanding the Dopamine Effect

Dopamine is often referred to as the "feel good" neurotransmitter. It's released during pleasurable situations, stimulating feelings of pleasure and reward. With every like, comment, or share, dopamine is released, making the experience of using social media inherently rewarding. This is similar to the gratification felt when eating a delicious meal, receiving a compliment, or even gambling. Over time, our brains begin to seek out these frequent dopamine spikes, creating an addictive loop.

The Downward Spiral

The problem arises when the initial euphoria from these dopamine spikes starts to wane. The highs are soon replaced with lows. As we continue to engage on platforms that offer selective highlights of people's lives, the inevitable comparison begins. This “compare and despair” effect can lead to feelings of inadequacy, envy, and low self-esteem. After all, everyone else seems happier, more successful, and more fulfilled, right?

Moreover, the quality of our connections on these platforms can sometimes feel shallow. The genuine, deep connections we, as humans, require for emotional health can't be replaced by virtual thumbs-ups or heart emojis.

Breaking Free from the Dopamine Loop

So, how do we break free from this cycle and use social media healthily?

Digital Detox: Start with a short digital detox. It can be as brief as a weekend or as long as a month. Use this time to engage in activities that nourish your mind and body, like reading, exercising, or spending quality time with loved ones.

Set Time Limits: Once you reintroduce social media, establish boundaries. Set specific times of the day when you'll check your apps, and limit the total time you spend scrolling.

Turn Off Notifications: Each ping can be a distraction and a pull back into the dopamine loop. By turning off non-essential notifications, you can decide when to engage, rather than being at the beck and call of every update.

Curate Your Feed: Follow pages, accounts, or groups that uplift you, inspire you, or truly resonate with your interests. Unfollow or mute accounts that make you feel anxious, inadequate, or negative.

Engage Mindfully: Instead of mindlessly scrolling, engage with intention. Comment genuinely on posts, message friends to catch up, and remember that it's okay not to document every moment.

Seek Genuine Connection: Remember, human connection is vital. Instead of texting or commenting, perhaps make a call or meet up in person. Real-world interactions provide emotional depth that online platforms can't match.

Remember Real Life: It's essential to understand that social media showcases selective realities. People often share their highlights, not their everyday struggles. Recognizing this can reduce feelings of inadequacy.

Seek Help if Needed: If you find that your social media use is negatively impacting your mental well-being, don't hesitate to seek professional guidance. A therapist or counselor can offer coping strategies and insights tailored to you.

In conclusion, while social media has its perks, it's crucial to recognize its potential pitfalls. By understanding the dopamine-driven highs and lows it can introduce, we can navigate these platforms more healthily, ensuring they enhance our lives rather than detract from our well-being.

#social media dangers #dopamine effects #digital detox #mental health #compare and despair #online comparison #setting boundaries online #genuine connection #social media addiction #curating social feeds #mindful engagement #real-life vs online #seeking therapy #emotional wellbeing #social media and depression

[sxturdaysun]

i am once again saying that there is nothing wrong with being a non-sharing selfshipper. there's nothing wrong with blocking people who share one (or multiple) of your f/os. there's nothing wrong with telling doubles not to interact with you. setting boundaries for yourself and your online space is a moral neutral and has nothing to do with being "insecure" or some other negative. if you find that insulting or belittling, that's on you; not on the person setting the boundary. quit trying to make non-sharers into bad guys.

#*with the obvious disclaimer of: so long as they aren't harassing anybody #but god man. i am so sick of coming online and seeing people act like setting boundaries or not being comfy sharing is a moral failing #just because they are and ''seeing people tell me to dni hurts my feelings :('' #like. okay. that's for MY comfort. maybe reexamine why you're so upset about that that you feel the need to make #an entire post talking about how every non-sharer is insecure and mean and belittling. #self ship community #♡ — ok to rb #bonus: being insecure isn't a moral failing and i find the implication that it is kinda gross! #you're not somehow better than other people just because you're not!

[littleesistler]

Tickle rp - green and red flags

Hello dears, I’ve recently had a few conversations with my new lers and lees. And I wanted to make a checklist on how to stay safe during rp

Remember consent is given before, after and during all types of intimacy, so here are a few examples:

Before:

Age and pronouns

What names and nicknames may be used

Ask about boundaries

Decide what spots are going to be tickled

Spots that are gonna be avoided

What tools to use or avoid

Restraints, pinning and how close the lee and ler should be

If both parties should have a safe word

During:

ONLY tickle or mention spots that have been chosen

ONLY use tools and nicknames that have been chosen

Regularly check in and ask questions

Give options for breaks and changing position or technique

Respect safe words and boundaries

If someone changes their mind about a spot stop and talk about it

After:

Cuddles and reassurances

Relax and talk about calming things while both parties recollect themselves

Don’t evaluate instantly since both parties are still full of dopamine and the brain needs time to come down from a high and flustered mood

After a few minutes or even the next day evaluate how the session went for both parties

Stay in contact and don’t just disappear after you’ve gotten what you wanted

Tips for the ler:

Remember you are in a position of power and it’s your responsibility to be in charge since your lee is in a different headspace at the moment. Be carful not to go with the flow. The lee might say yes or keep giggling if you ask them something but afterwards they might regret it. In a flustered headspace you can’t think straight nor consent to a new thing. So that’s why boundaries were sett before. Stick to the script!

Tips for lees

Be on the lookout is your ler asking for boundaries, checking in and staying on track. Are they prioritizing your wants and needs? Do you feel safe to be vulnerable or does it feel forced? If you at any point get an icky or uncomfortable feeling, use a safe word and speak out. You can change your options before, after and during. But remember it’s harder to change something afterwards so speak up. And if you feel like you can’t be open with your ler, then why are you with them!

Please stay safe and rember people lie all the time online and in real life about their age, personality and intentions. If at any point someone feels disingenuous you have two options:

confront them

or

ignore them

A few last tips

Don’t laugh at or make an overstepping of a boundary into a joke, you’re valid to sett a stop and guidelines so don’t discredit yourself.

If an apology is mostly self centered and not taking your feelings into account it’s not genuine.

You don’t owe anyone anything: no pictures, no roleplay, no reactions and no time.

Be aware of gaslighting, manipulation, narcissistic and psychopathic tendencies and how to spot these actions.

Say no, use safe words, speak up, ignore, ghost, leave behind and move on, you deserve only the best

If someone makes you feel uncomfortable they aren’t worthy of your time and that’s period!

#tickle thoughts #answered #ask answered #lee #ler #sfw tickling community #tword community #asks #heds #tword content #tickle questions #sfw tickling #tickle content #tickle asks #tickle tickle #consent #safety #red flags #green flags #stay safe #be safe #boundaries #boundary issues #beyond the boundary #boundary break #boundary setting #online safety

[raven-by-the-sea]

Weird thing to specify but please know I'm not looking for critiques on my art and that they are unappreciated at all times. If you want something drawn differently please learn to draw it yourself. This is a fun hobby for me and that is the extent.

#this sounds mean but its not its a boundary im setting #art is my hobby i do for fun and if people dislike something they can just move somewhere else tbh #raven talks #idk man people just dont treat artists online like actual real people and its annoying af

[foxpunk]

i think everyone who is reblogging that post about how horrible and creepy and fucked up it is to speculate about someone being possibly trans needs to

1) think about why/when these speculations are being made. context matters. are they harassing or crossing boundaries of anyone specific/an actual concrete person, or simply making comments to themselves, to friends, or in a general open online area.

2) ask yourself if it is actually so bad and harmful to say someone could be trans.

3) ask yourself if these speculations about transness actually uphold gender norms. does being trans upholds gender norms. is a trans woman reinforcing stereotype if she wears makeup, or is a transmasc reinforcing stereotype if they get top surgery. why do trans people, especially trans women, do these things. if these actual actions are okay for trans people to do as their form of gender expression, then is this actually bad to simply speculate about.

4) ask yourself if you've heard this shit before like. does this at all bring to mind how straight people found it offensive to be speculated as gay, and the subsequent gross backlash against gay people helping anyone out of the closet, and the movement of "let bros be bros" gaining more attention/priority than. yknow. simply normalizing people being gay and that not being a bad thing or an insult to think someone may be gay.

5) most importantly: who is making these speculations. is it "people" in general like the post says or is it fellow trans people, who know what it is like to be closeted with no info, no other trans people to talk to, no way to explore themselves safely until someone says something first. and is it trans people or specifically trans women, who are especially vulnerable to these things. are these trans women actually being harmful or do you view trans womens' personal speculations as inherently forceful, creepy, and invasive.

6) ask yourself why that may be.

7) be honest.

#transmisogyny #transphobia #homophobia #'a guy in a dress doesn't HAVE to be a woman!' okay. doesn't have to Not be one either. why are you up in arms about it. #like. we have had this song and dance before people #its not some horrible invasion of privacy to think someone may be an egg or closeted #if you cross a boundary someone set or harass someone over gender (or anything) thats bad but if someone is just like #making anonymous jokes online what are you people even mad about #do you hear yourselves #ky speaks #this post is pointedly biased and obviously trying to lead people to specific conclusion and i dont trust tumblr at large with it anyways #so unrebloggable. but i said what i said #someone on the original post said 'said youre gonna push someone further away from being trans by bringing it up to them' (paraphrased) #GO OUTSIDE??? #DO YOU KNOW HOW RARE THATD EVEN BE. YOU SOUND LIKE THOSE BIGOTS ARGUING AGAINST TOP SURGERY BC OF THE .1% OF PPL WHO REGRET IT OR SMTH #CHRIST #and like. okay. i know i sound pissed in this post and i am cause its upsetting to see other trans ppl reblogging it #the transmisogyny (including intercommunity. especially intercommunity in some ways) is always upsetting #but i also want anyone reading this to know this is your sign to jsut change and be better and then itll be fine yknow like #just work on this shit for the love of god #change or die idk what to tell you

[pxelbunny]

I just remembered that my best friend and first huge, life-altering crush in high school had a 25 year old boyfriend. We were 16~17. They lived together. It was cool because we could have parties at their place, he got us into age restricted bars and had a car.

What the fuck? No wonder our generation is stunted.

#i got my first proper boyfriend when i was in middle school and he was 19 and went to university #all of this was just considered perfectly normal #adults didn't even bat an eyelid at it #it just feels wild now with all the discourse online #don't know how kids have it in real life though #if they've finally gotten the tools to set boundaries around themselves #i hope so #delete later #random #personal #tw: grooming

[jaymesyourplaything]

hi i'm jay; i mod jim moriarty @criminalisticonsultant. those who know me, keep my name private please.

i've been asked to speak of my side since i have been indirectly involved for awhile. i need to apologize; i have recently injured my hand and i will be typing one handed. i can't guarantee when i will post, or how often i may respond if anyone truly cares enough to keep asking questions. (actually most of it is written, i have been sitting on this for awhile. )

if you're here for slander or an angry opinion against either of my friends, @consult-sherlockholmes (sherlock for the character, ver for the mod @veritassempervincit ) or @consultjohnwatson (john, not nicknamed yet, but mod account @sherlockbbc-rp ) then this is not the place.

i am currently proof reading my most recent draft, - correction. (changed my mind ehe )

#mod #jay #a scandal in tumblr #a scandal in my friends😭 #in my pookie boos 😭 #lmao </3 😭 #do not use me requesting john not to mention minors against him #it is his decision to mention his own #i am simply trying to protect those who may not want to speak of theirs online #i just wanted to set that clear and quick boundary with him #but since i blocked him i had no way to tell him. #don't judge harshly #be open and understanding #listen to all stories and make your own opinions i suppose? #they have known each other much longer #i barely know them under a year #but i know enough to know them//they are my friends #oops hallo ! i didn't mean to tag you bbg! hope you're doing okay! ehe 😭🥰

[cypric-rat-hyperfixation]

As my following grows and as I meet more and more people who have rats, had rats, know someone who has/had rats, and love rats...

increasingly I wonder if/when a day will come... a day that I'll express rat enjoyment to someone and they'll enthusiastically ask me if I've heard of This Funnie Little Rodent Blog they like, figuring I may already know it or will enjoy it if not...

and it's.. my blog... and then I have to come out as popular Rat Tumblr blogger that they follow and now know IRL.......

#/lh #I'm saying this like it's some big deal but I'm just exaggerating for comedic effect adjfgsbkdfj #no idea what the likelihood on that looks like. based on statistics of people estimating statistics? probably likelier than we all think #anyway that time I posted a survey for a university research project here and you all wound up comprising 2/3 of our sample was so funny #I had to actually say in an academic research paper that one possible flaw in our study #was bias that may result from 2/3 the sample having come from a niche and extremely specific demographic of people #due to the fact that they flocked in from One Of The Researchers' Substantial Online Following Centered Around A Particular Theme #And Selected Specifically To Have Only A Certain Kind Of Person On It Via Boundaries And Blocking #literally you all made up 98/150 respondents (but that's assuming all digital responses were from y'all-- we had 52 paper responses) #ah but the research symposium was the best. in the paper I was able to remain that generic about it #but at the research symposium. well it's a glorified science fair. so participants have their own stations set up and observers tour them #as the participants speak to their audience; directly providing a summary and then answering any questions #some of the audience/observers are faculty and most are fellow students #so real scholarly scientific types yeah? so they had questions. thoughtful questions #long story short I confessed to numerous listeners throughout the day that the sample's bizarre gender ratio is probably my fault #around 57% women; 21% nonbinary adults; 17% men-- an unusual proportion #so I had to academically tell my professors... underclassmen..... my classmates....... acquaintances.... foes.......... #... that I'm big famous in Rat #and it was so. djkjSBCJXHQKRIGAJFSHF

[troublewithvampires]

//today's my birthday! i'm officially 24!!! ✨️

one year closer to being able to interact with teddy 💖

#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞ 「 ooc 」 #//yes i scheduled this months ago. mind ur business. #//to be clear! him generally preferring to interact with muns over 25? very fair choice #//a very reasonable choice even! i respect that! #//not at all saying that that's a bad thing or that i disagree with his decision b/c it's a Personal Decision #//and setting boundaries online is important #//however. i like being funny #//and the moment he told me he was doing that i was like. well i gotta make the obvious joke #//made this joke originally on my tftgs sideblog but i figured i'd put it here #//since this bitch gave me fungus #//brain fungus that is

[lunas-treehouse]

I feel so utterly helpless and useless

#actually autistic #actually adhd #autistic #chronic pain #anemic #disabled #i cant do school work #i cant enjoy the things i like wothout help #i cant do anything #i cant take a break #its so frustrating cause thats the only advice anything online gives me #“set boundaries ” WITH WHO? #WHICH BOUNDARIES #NORMALIZE EXPLAINING THINGS

[mystic-writings]

i’ve been waiting for like 2 days for a girl on hinge to reply to my message only to find out that she unmatched me

#monty rambles #YOURE THE ONE THAT OPENED WITH ASKING ME ON A DATE #then set a respectable boundary #so i asked what books you like. AND YOU UNMATCH ME?? #dating online is wild be safe y’all

[enthesea]

idk i think that just bc someones blog is public that doesnt mean youre entitled to follow it. especially if its just another random person on the internet. if they say "dont follow me if i dont know you" i think the proper response is oh okay! i wont follow you then.

what u dont do is make a vague post whining about "what is follow culture coming too; is this what we're doing now????; why is their blog even public then 🙄"

what does it matter to you. youre literally two strangers on the internet. if you hate it so much just block them and move the fuck on!!!

#ensposts #its soooo stupid to me that ppl get so mad abt how other ppl try to set their online boundaries. like just ignore/block the other person #and move tf on ‼️‼️‼️ you have your own online experience to cultivate and youre gonna spend it whining abt how other ppl cultivate theirs? #get ooooover it buddy!!!!! #i am aware that im being a hypocrite by also vagueing an internet stranger. but i already blocked them so love and light <3

[rainyfestivalsweets]

Tomorrow I have a glorious and much needed day off. I am road tripping about 3 hours to go to a concert.

No school today.

But I did work like 9 ish hours, cook, do chores, entertain ma a bit and was generally productive.

I cancelled my doc appt. What is a doc appt in comparison to a late lunch with a friend before the show?

Here are my food choices today:

And the nails I did are from a small business named Hammer Polish. Cooper's Copper & Stonemason Silver.

Plan for tomorrow: school work, workout, head out of town. Lunch, rock concert. Drive home. Long day for sure, but I don't know how long mom can be alone sometimes. Better to get home and know she is safe.

I did not workout.

I did have a couple meltdowns today. One was in the mor ong after making her breakfast, I was gonna make myself a dessert for lunch. I did something wrong to the blender & got water, rootbeer mix, & the gel all over myself, he kitchen, and a cat.

The 2nd meltdown was my afternoon break. My little dogs saw some neighborhood dogs and went nuts. Ugg. So embarrassing. My sweet littles are so leash reactive. And i need to do better with socializing them. Hope I can get them into a training. I know that I am experience much higher stress level when having auditory distress.

A meeting with my boss went ok.... I think. I am struggling under her rule, and I have never felt so mismanaged yet micromanaged.

I set a boundary with a friend this week and he hasn't even acknowledged it, which hurt me. It made me realize he only hits me up when he wants something. Fucking nothing, zip, zilch, nada.

I am trying to refocus social media time to me time on all other platforms. I am just sick of this shit. Esp the MLM stuff- as I mentioned earlier, one of my friends it now into It Works and is hawking diet pills. It is also a constant negative stream of info into what could be a quiet, peaceful life.

It is hard sometimes tho. I am especially used to popping on Facebook and that is a hard habit to break.

I have books, I have pets. Work. School. I don't need to keep pouring energy into people that don't return that energy or see me as only a customer.

#healthy lifestyle #getting healthy #losing weight #healthy eating #fitblr #healthy habits #operation lose this gut #weight loss #operationlosethisgut #weight loss journey #brain dump #my thoughts #daily struggles #daily notes #daily food #day to day #auditory processing issues #auditory sensitivity #the struggle #work at home #online school #older than average student #just busy #people struggles #introvert issues #stuff i did #stuff i think #boundaries #boundary setting #frenemy

[mattodore]

struggling to contain my grin in class after reading your nsft asks i’m cheesing. 😔

have your professor read out the part where i said matthias likes being treated like a dog i think it’d be funny to see how the room reacts to that. hurry back with the results

#benefit of the doubt i’m assuming you mean your college class…………… #otherwise see yourself out please #i’m not comfortable with minors following me and especially not interacting with me and my posts #18+!!! in my description!! #if this doesn’t apply then just ignore this yk how it is being an adult trying to set boundaries online sometimes 🚶 #river dipping #asks #anonymous #nsft #<- tho i say this all the time anyway

[depresseddepot]

someone on here will say "I don't support censorship" and everyone in the notes will be like "I can't believe you're just admitting you like incest and pedophilia"

#aka something showed up on my for you tab and i (like an idiot) looked at the notes #what a dumpster fire #i try not to act like things are beneath me but this whole pro/anti ship argument is 100% beneath me lmao #im a librarian. do not come at me with that bullshit lol #im quite chronically online but thank god im not THAT chronically online #take a walk. read some books that aren't fanfiction and aren't on your phone #read problematic classics and go ''huh that didn't fuck with my head the way everyone said it would. guess im better than them'' #bc its TRUE #YOU ARE THE ONE WHO LETS MEDIA DEFINE YOU. YOU ARE THE ONES THAT SETS THOSE BOUNDARIES #if YOU cannot maintain YOUR OWN BOUNDARIES IT DOES NOT BECOME EVERYONE ELSE'S FAULT #sorry you're stupid and bad at internalizing new information but that is not my fucking problem #anyways. fuck censorship i love ao3 i love reading problematic books etc etc. block me if you think otherwise #exposing yourself to things you dislike so you can grow does NOT mean you will grow to like that thing #christ you all sound so bland and boring lol

[rovermcfly]

it's always an instant block from me 🙏

if someone sets boundaries online such as blocking you or making a post unrebloggable, you can either respect those boundaries or be a total dick. don't be a total dick.

#like sure. noone's gonna stop you from doing this #but you could respect the few boundaries we are able to set on the internet you know #I made a post like this before but can't find it so. saying it again #please become more mindful of how you treat others online #negativity