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#please become more mindful of how you treat others online
rovermcfly · 1 year
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it's always an instant block from me 🙏
if someone sets boundaries online such as blocking you or making a post unrebloggable, you can either respect those boundaries or be a total dick. don't be a total dick.
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bad268 · 1 year
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Could u write a princess of Monaco and Arthur lecrelc , I see this being written so much for Charles and none for Arthur
thank you :)
Queen of Monaco (Arthur Leclerc X Reader)
Fandom: RPF/Formula 2/3
Requested: Clearly (haha we have the same mind bc I was already drafting this before you requested it)
Warnings: death of parents and brother (mentioned), google translate, the Monaco curse is affecting Arthur now and that's a warning itself bro. I am in denial about the race results today, so I made this to make me happy.
Pronouns: She/Her
W.C. 4108
Summary: The beginning of the relationship between Arthur Leclerc and the Queen of Monaco.
As always, my requests are OPEN
MASTERLIST // HITLIST
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~~(@/Arthur's insta from January 29, 2023)
It was a normal day in Monaco. It was not a race week, and there were no pressing matters to attend. I had just returned to Monaco last week after attending the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the United States, but I just received my Bachelor's degree and wanted to return home before starting my Master's. I decided to take my first semester online, so I could go home and spend time with my family.
When I got back, my parents urgently began to train me for the throne even though I was not next in line. Despite having an older brother who was scheduled to become the King of Monaco after my parents, he had to serve in the military before he could move forward. They wanted to have me prepare in the event that something happened to him in battle. 
I had never really been in the public eye due to my brother being the next in line. He was always the one attending meetings, trainings, and keeping up appearances. I was free to do as I pleased for the most part, but in 2015, they sent me to a training school in London. It taught the basics of monarchy and the foundations of how to run a country. It was the same one my brother attended. Even in my spare time, I found my passion in mechanical engineering and aerodynamics. It took some persuasion, but my parents allowed me to attend MIT after my graduation because they were so sure that I would not be needed. My brother is in the final stages of the training. All he needed to do was finish the last few months of military training, and then he would be crowned. 
Upon my return, I learned that my mother was ill, so they wanted to get my brother crowned quickly. However, they practically had to start from square one since I was provided very minimal training in London. My father was furious, not at me, but at the situation they had been placed in. They told me the best thing I could do while they prepare the training is to memorize Monaco as it had been nearly seven years since I had been here. 
I was walking down the pier, looking at all of the little shops that lined the pavement and the boats at the dock. There was a small ice cream shop, a couple of clothing stores, a few restaurants, and a salon. I realized that I had not had my hair professionally done since before college, so I thought it would be a good idea to treat myself.
“Bonjour, comment puis-je vou aider? (Hello, how can I help you?)” A lady greeted me as I stepped through the door. It was a small shop, no one else was in there, but it was cute and welcoming other than the fact that I could not remember French for the life of me.
“I’m sorry, my French is no good,” I replied sheepishly, fully prepared to leave, but the woman stopped me.
“Oh, not a problem, dear. My name is Pascale, what can I help you with?” She smiled, kindly, leading me over to one of the chairs. 
“Well, I haven’t gotten my hair done in almost four years, so I think it’s time to freshen up,” I explained. 
“Oh perfect, I can most certainly help with that,” She laughed, placing an apron around my shoulders. “Are you thinking about dye, highlights, trim, cutting…” She started listing more but I couldn't follow along with all of the terminology. 
“Uh, probably just a trim,” I chuckled, “my parents would kill me if I showed up with short, dyed hair.”
“Not a problem at all,” she grinned and began cutting the ends, little by little, as we made small conversations. “What do you do for work?”
“I actually don’t have a job at the moment,” technically, “but I just came back from the United States. I was at MIT for the last four years, getting my bachelors in mechanical engineering and aerodynamics, and before that, I attended boarding school in London.”
“That’s interesting,” she hummed, “Sounds like you like Formula 1?”
“Not so much the races. I just like the cars,” I laughed in response. “I like learning what could make the cars better, faster, stronger, and safer, but the actual races aren't something for me. I watched one too many accidents end badly, so I can never find enjoyment in it anymore. The last race I went to was in Japan, and I lost my best friend.”
“Oh, I’m sorry about that, dear. If you ever need to talk, I’m here,” Pascale consoled. I looked at her confused through the mirror. She just set the scissors down just as her phone got a notification. She pulled out her phone and opened the notification. It was a text message with a picture. “That is my son, Charles, and his best friend, Pierre. They’re in Formula 1. They went out karting today, and he just sent me this.”
“Oh, Charles Leclerc and Pierre Gasly! I know them,” I recognized immediately. “That’s your son?”
“Yeah, he’s always had this passion for driving, so I’m proud to see him living his dreams,” She smiled, putting her phone back, and resumed cutting my hair.
“Well, I’m proud of him too, and I don’t even know him.” I laughed. 
“Maybe, if you’d ever change your mind, you could join us for a race,” Pascale offered. “Only if you’re up for it.”
“I’ll have to see, but probably not,” I declined nervously. 
“It’s not a problem, dear,” She said, patting my shoulders. “But you are all done. How do you like it?”
My hair was shorter by a couple of inches, but it felt so much lighter and healthier than it did earlier today. “I love it so much, Pascale! Thank you so much! How much do I owe you?”
“Nothing, just promise you’ll think about joining us? It would do you some good to get to know more people, and you could even check out the cars before the race! If you’re not comfortable staying for the race, you can always leave. Just promise you’ll think about it before immediately rejecting it?” She pleaded.
“Fine, I’ll think about it,” I laughed, “but only because you were so persuasive!”
The next time I was out in the streets was nearly a week later. My time was being packed with different trainings and attending private events, but nothing public yet so as to not stir up controversy. I decided to go to a local bakery and get some tea and some food. The food in the castle just did not compare to my favorite bakery. Not by a long shot. 
When I walked in, there were not a lot of people in there. It was a small shop with only two tables and a counter. There was the person behind the counter, Ella, and three people at the tables. One sat by himself and the other two occupied the second table. I approached Ella and ordered a tea and sandwich. She said she would bring it right over once it was finished, and I approached the man sitting by himself.
“Bonjour,” I greeted, my French was slowly coming back to me but not enough to carry a full conversation. The man looked up from his phone at me. He had blue eyes and shady blonde hair. He had airpods in and took one out as I approached the table. “My name is Y/n. Would it be alright if I sit with you? The other table is filled.”
 “Of course,” He responded immediately, moving the bag that was hanging on the other chair to the floor. “I’m Arthur.”
“Nice to meet you, Arthur. Thank you for letting me sit with you,” I laughed, taking the seat that he pulled out for me. “I really appreciate that.”
“It’s my pleasure,” He chuckled along, “It was just empty anyway.”
~
That was the start of an inseparable bond. It was strange having someone so close again because even though I had some friends in school, they were never as close as Arthur was. For the first couple of months, any time that was not filled with training was spent with each other. Whether it be chilling in his apartment, driving around Monaco, boat rides, and random trips around France and Italy, we were content with doing random acts of entertainment. It didn’t take long before he asked me to be his girlfriend.
One thing we knew would be difficult is the time commitments. With his recent change from Formula 3 to Formula 2 and more royal training for me, we knew it was going to be more time-consuming. That didn’t stop us, however. Tuesdays were the most random day of the week, but neither of us had any responsibilities.
One day in particular, the day before he was set to go to Australia, we were at his apartment, and I was helping him pack since he *conveniently* forgot. We had gone to get smoothies and acai bowls earlier that morning before heading to his apartment. Then, after we ate, we put on some music as background noise while we packed and conversed back and forth.
“Would you ever come to a race with me?” He asked as he pulled a couple of shirts out of his closet. “I know you didn’t have a good experience at the last one, but would you be willing to give it another time?”
“I don’t know, A. I get anxiety just knowing you’re racing,” I explained. Moving to fold the shirts he’s pulling out. 
“That sound like an improvement!” He laughed, jumping over and wrapping his arms around my shoulders as I put the folded clothes in the suitcase. “When we first started talking, you said no immediately. Now, you’re saying you don’t know.”
“What can I say?” I leaned back into his embrace, “You are pretty persuasive.”
“What are the chances of you coming to the Monaco Grand Prix with me?”
“The odds are in your favor since I don’t go anywhere,” I laughed in response. He turned me around in his arms. He was pouting and had his head tilted slightly. “No, don’t do the puppy face. You know I can’t say no to that face.”
“Please?”
With a heavy sigh and a joking eye roll, I caved. I was about to vocalize my decision, but my phone started ringing. This time, my sigh was out of annoyance after seeing it was from Mila, my personal guard and trainer.  “I need to answer that, but yes, I promise to go to the Monaco Grand Prix with you.”
“Of course,” He exclaimed, kissing me all over my face. “I will take care of everything. You go take the call, and I’ll finish packing in here.”
With a small smile, I walked out of his bedroom to the living room and stepped out onto the balcony before answering the phone. “Hi, Mila. What did I forget?”
“Nothing, but are you near the palace?” She responded. Just the tone of her voice made me nervous.
“Not really, I’m about 20 minutes away. Do I need to head back?” 
“Yes, let me know when you get here.” And with that, she hung up. I walked back in to see Arthur with his suitcase fully packed by the door.
“I need to head home,” I started. “Something’s not right.”
“That’s fine,” He reassured, pulling me into a hug. “I’ll need to head out for my flight soon anyway, so I’ll walk you to your car.” 
During the drive back, my mind wandered. Was there a meeting I missed? I couldn’t remember having anything scheduled on a Tuesday. Most meetings were on Mondays or Wednesdays and policy training sessions were Thursdays and Fridays. Maybe there was a last-minute meeting.
Pulling through the gates, I texted Mila once I parked in our car park, and a few guards were waiting for me. “Hi, what did I miss?”
“Y/n, we need to talk,”  one of the guards, Chris, said, and right then, I knew things were worse than I thought. We walked through the corridors to reach one of the meeting rooms, but the only person in there was Mila. The guards immediately turned around and left the room.
“Mila-”
“Have a seat,” She cut me off, gesturing to the seat next to her. I took it hesitantly as I looked at her skeptically. “So, I’m not going to beat around the bush with this. As you know, your mother, the queen, was sick.”
“I assume she died then? That’s what this was for?” I cut her short. However, there was something on her face that said she wasn’t finished. “Okay, I’ll let you continue.”
She shook her head dismissively, “No, it’s fine, but you’re right. She passed away early this morning.”
“So my brother will be crowned when he comes back?”
“That’s the next news,” Mila paused. I encouraged her to just rip the bandaid off because I was getting impatient. “Your father went to the base to get your brother, but there was an explosion. There was a gas leak, and somehow the building they were in exploded. We’re still waiting on the details.”
“Wait, so my entire family…” I trailed off, but she knew where I was going. She just nodded solemnly as she pulled me into her side. “So that means…”
“It means you are to be the queen.”
~
Third POV
Ever since the Melbourne Grand Prix, Arthur has been talking about how his girlfriend was going to join him on the paddock for the Monaco Grand Prix. To say that his friends and brothers teased him would be putting it lightly. Any chance they could, they asked questions about this “girlfriend” of his that they had never heard of, and Arthur was willing to spill all of the details. On the Thursday before the Monaco Grand Prix when he was driving to the track with Charles, he accidentally let it slip that he actually had not heard from her recently. He asked Charles to check his phone to see if she had texted him recently.
“Wait, you haven't heard from her in over a month and you’re not at all worried?” Charles asked, very concerned for someone he’s never met.
“No, we’ve definitely texted recently,” Arthur responded in disbelief. When they pulled up to a red light, Charles showed him that the last message from her was April 1. “No, we’ve definitely talked.”
“Here, pull over. We’ll switch, so you can call her, and I’ll drive us the rest of the way to the track,” Charles said, already getting out of the car as soon as they were on the shoulder. He immediately dialed her number, and after a few rings, it went to voicemail. He thought about leaving her a voice message, but she was already calling him back before he could start.
“Hey, traffic is hideous, but I’m almost there,” She started her explanation. She was sitting in the backseat with a couple of guards, and Mila as her driver took them to the track. “Are you already there?”
“No, we’re not there yet,” he laughed. “Charles and I are still stuck in traffic, but we noticed that I hadn’t messaged you since the Australian Grand Prix. Thought I would call to see if you were still coming.” Charles was half listening to the conversation, but he was smiling to himself, hearing how lovestruck his younger brother sounded.
“Oh, definitely,” She chuckled. Mila nudged the girl with a knowing grin. “I’ve just been insanely busy recently, but I promised. On the bright side, I finished my training!”
“No way, I’m so proud of you, ma chéri!” Arthur cheered. Charles was a little confused as he pulled into the track, but let it go, knowing Arthur would explain it later. “Does that mean there will be a ceremony or something?”
“You could call it a ceremony, yes,” She giggled. She noticed that they were only a few blocks away from the car park of the track, so she turned her phone away toward her shoulder as she directed a question to Mila, “Could I jump out and meet up with Arthur before the race? I promise I’ll be careful, and I’ll be in the box before it starts.” Mila turned to discuss it with one of the guards who was entirely against it. “Please, I won’t leave Arthur’s side, and you know he’s trustworthy.”
“I won’t let her out of my sight, Mila!” Arthur’s voice could be heard through the phone despite it not being on speaker. She gestured to the phone at her shoulder as Mila tried to reason with the guard.
“I’ll go with you,” Mila said as she started collecting their passes and jumping out of the car that was stopped in the traffic going into the parking lot. Y/n immediately climbed out of the back, pulling her phone back up to her ear.
“Alright, Arthur, where do you want us to meet you?”
~~
First POV
“You seem to have gotten shorter since Melbourne,” I laughed as I ran into Arthur’s arms from where he was waiting at the Dams garage. 
“You’re wearing heels,” he pointed out after we pulled away. “What are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?”
“You say that like you don’t like me in heels,” I teased back.
“Ok, lovebirds,” Mila pulled our attention away from each other, “I am going to head up to our seats. Don’t tell anyone I left.”
“Your secret’s safe with me. Thank you, Mila,” I responded as she started walking away.
“You have seats?” Arthur asked.
“Yeah, I didn’t want to rely on you for the passes for Mila, so she bought us hospitality seats,” I explain. It wasn’t the whole truth, but I could not just tell him that in the open. “Is it possible to talk somewhere away from the cameras?”
“You’re not breaking up with me, right?” He immediately jumped to conclusions.
“No, no, no, no,” I quickly shut down. “Je t’aime trop pour partir, mon amour. I just want to tell you something. (I love you too much to leave, my love)”
“Je t’aime, ma belle, (I love you, my beauty)” He whispered, pulling me in for a light kiss before leading me back towards the driver’s room he shares with Ayumu. “Make yourself comfortable.”
I took a seat on one of the beanbags as Arthur sat right next to me. I took a deep breath before deciding the best way to tell him was just to say it fast. “Arthur, I need to tell you about my family.”
“Are you trying to have me meet your family already? You could meet my brothers and maman today if you want,” He rambled.
“I can meet them, but you won’t be able to meet my family. That day you left for Australia was the day I found out they passed away.” I paused looking at his reactions. He looked sorrowful as he grasped my hands and ran his thumbs across the backs of my hands. “Maman had an illness, and papa went to get my brother from the base.”
“Your brother’s in the military?” He asked.
“Was,” I answered. He looked even more confused at that before I continued. “He was serving in the military as his last stage of training. Kind of like my trainings, he had to serve in the military.”
“What kind of training did you need to do? Was this part of your degree or something?”
“No, that’s the big secret I haven’t been able to tell you,” I whispered, putting my head down as I felt guilty for not explaining this sooner.
“Anything you have to say, I will accept you either way,” He reassured me as he pulled me into his chest and kissed my head. “I understand that you have your reasons for hiding some things, so whatever this is, it is not going to stop me from loving you.”
“What if it is complex with more spotlight than you already have?” I asked, throwing my head to rest on his shoulder and looking into his blue eyes. “What if it’s a big change?”
“When we go public, it will be a big change, but I’m willing to do anything for you, ma princesse.”
“Reine, (Queen)” I whispered.
“Quoi? (What)” He responded just as fast.
“What if I told you my parents were the king and queen of Monaco? And my older brother was the prince of Monaco? And now that they’re gone, I will be the queen of Monaco? What would you do?” 
He went silent for a few seconds before whispering, “Are you serious?” My silence was enough of an answer for him to jump up, pulling me with him as he starts laughing and spinning us in circles. He set me down after a couple of spins before holding me at arm's length,  “I would completely understand. I mean you probably didn’t plan on taking the throne because of your brother, and you’d just come back from studying. I only tell people who need to know, and when we met, I wasn’t someone who needed to know. We haven't talked since you found out, so I could never be upset with something like that.”
“But now, if we tell people, you will be heavily scrutinized as people will see you as a potential king,” I signed, happy to know he isn’t upset with me, but still wanting him to see all sides before completely agreeing to move forward. “You’d have more on your list.”
“The only question I would have is if it would interfere with racing,” He turned serious.
“I would never let them keep you from your passions,” I laughed. “They have to respect it by order of the queen.”
“Well, then I would see no issues against continuing to be by your side, ma reine,” he chuckled with a mocking bow.
“Merci mon beau prince, (Thank you my handsome prince)” I mocked back, “now by order of the queen, go win this race.”
~~
“And Arthur Leclerc passes Fredrik Vesti in the final turn of the race,” Crofty shouted over the radio during the final lap of the race. I was up in the hospitality seats with Mila and the guards but headed down to the pitlane a couple of laps before since I was going to be presenting the trophies. I was standing at the pit wall with Charles, Lorenzo, and Pascale, who I met (again) just before the race. “The Monaco Curse is broken for Arthur Leclerc as he wins his first Monaco Grand Prix!”
 I left the pit wall to meet everyone at the podium and stopped to meet up with Mila on my way over. She and the guards escorted me through the crowds. “I’ll tell you now, one of you will need to tell Arthur not to out our relationship when I give him his trophy.”
At the podium, I stood behind the steps as Alice announces the winners. “In third place, we have Théo Pourchaire! In second place, we have Frederik Vesti! And in first place, breaking the Monaco Curse, the home favorite, Arthur Leclerc! Presenting the trophies today is the future Queen of Monaco, Y/n.”
“I’m proud of you,” I said to Arthur as I handed him the trophy.
“Merci, now if only Charles could win,” He joked, taking the trophy and posing with it.
“I’ll tell him you’re talking crap about him,” I teased back, moving away to grab the next trophy for Dams. I handed them all out and expressed my congratulations to the other two drivers before posing for the picture and immediately ducking back as I knew Arthur would try to spray me. I walked down the stairs to meet up with Charles before he heads back to Ferrari for his own race. “Arthur’s talking shit about you. You better win.”
“I’m starting sixth, so we have hope,” Charles responded as he rolled his eyes.
“Just don’t box for hards at the last lap again and you’ll be fine,” I laughed as if it were really that simple. 
“Maybe I broke the curse for both of us or maybe I just had some good luck today,” Arthur said, coming up behind us and throwing his arm around my shoulders.
“Oh yeah, what good luck did you have?” Charles teased, punching Arthur into me.
“Maybe just the future queen of Monaco.”
~~~~~
© BAD268 2023. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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hadesoftheladies · 11 months
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if you're a radfem (or feminist in general) chances are you're dealing with these: repressed anger and the effects of gaslighting
if you're exhausted a lot (without strenuous physical activity and lack of sleep), find yourself having outbursts of strong emotion, feeling desperate for a form of escape, fantasizing about drastic measures, anxious and "forgetful" about memories you have, nervous about speaking about your experiences . . .
here's some tricks on how i've been coping:
-boundaries. if you can cut off people (irl or online) that cause you to spiral into hate, frustration, anger at their ignorance/malice, do it. even if it's a musician whose one song you like. or your brother or dad. limit time as much as possible with them. the less access they have, the less relevant they become, the more energy you conserve.
-do art! create something, it doesn't matter what it is. express those emotions! make sure you're doing it in a judgement-free zone. it's important you don't become a critic at this time. do messy, honest art (sometimes i write short scenes of gay/lesbian characters to cope with the homophobia in my life, and it makes me feel MUCH better and less cynical, sometimes you need to create beauty to remember it exists in the world)
-get out! get out into nature, if you can. if you can't immerse yourself in some form of it. try watching a potted plant for a while or watch insects. take interest in the mundane aspects of life. see that leaf curl? that ant? you're part of that. when you see the clouds, remember they are part of the cycle. the earth grows into its beauty as you do. the moon is the sky's cycle tracker. you belong to this world. you belong in it. this is your home. revel in it.
-if you can, and if you want to, hang out with animals. animals are great companions with none of the misogyny, internalized or otherwise! they don't mind if you cry, either. seriously, if you need non-draining, non-complicated companionship, animals are a good option. it's also good to remember you're a simple animal sometimes, with simple needs. sometimes all you need is a nice belly rub and a little treat.
-cultivate female friendships where it's safe to rant and also not all about ranting. your friendships should be a comfort, not a chore. you need irl community. if you can access it at this time, if you can find a way to cultivate it, please do. it may save you
-it is okay to enoy things despite the evil in the world. you don't have to be an activist 24/7. go watch your favorite movie. listen to your favorite comedian. and let down your guard while you're enjoying that little something. it's important you don't fall into analyzing things.
-for the gaslighting, start having conversations where you make it explicitly clear that you want the other party to ONLY listen. also, JOURNAL, even if it's just a paragraph or two sentences. write down the small important facts of your day. you'll either build a more reliable memory or come to see how reliable your memory is. just don't hang out with people that are constantly testing you. that is not an environment where you develop healthy trust in yourself.
-fight back! these are some ways to heal from the bruising of the world, but honestly? you need to acknowledge how RIGHT and GOOD your anger is. and one of the best ways to do that is to fight back! do something that addresses part of the injustice your heart is screaming about. it doesn't have to be big, it just needs to help someone and address the situation. address the alarms in your brain telling you something isn't right and you have to do something about it. scratch that itch! do that something. you will feel really good
please feel free to add any other tips you guys may have for cultivating joy, hope and energy, because we don't have to be miserable while/for doing the right thing
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bunsunee · 1 year
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summery: a bunch of personal/general headcanons of the mighty geo archon, rex lapis, or now known as zhongli!
warnings: obvi nsfw
a/n: SORRY ABOUT IT BEING SO SHORT I HAVE LITTLE IDEAS RN!! 😭😒
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SFW
Zhongli is very much a gentleman even before he relinquished his title and gnosis always treating the people among liyue kindly even if they are incredibly rude. It was something the ex-archon just couldn't help as he was a very patient man and a very kind individual. This didn't change even if you were a man or woman. it was just common etiquette to treat others how they wanted to be treated.
Zhongli outwardly deceives people with the idea he has no money to his name, it was a innocent gesture given he wanted to fit in among the mortals, but truth be told he isn't bankrupt in the slightest. he had enough mora to be a sugar daddy to thousands of people but he didn't wish to flaunt wealth within his nation. It was unruly and incredibly rude towards the daily merchants to just flaunt his own wealth. it doesn't stop him from occasionally helping some unlucky soul get back on their feet. he couldn't bare the sight of people living on the streets. maybe he wasn't human but he had a heart for sure.
Zhongli is definitely sugar daddy material don't even try to change my mind. Zhongli would spoil you rotten with things you simply just talk about liking just because he loves you so. Usually he doesn't mean to end up in a sugar daddy scenario but he can't help himself when his sugar baby is so needy, his willpower caving to the pout on your face. You want that cute little dress you keep talking about? Honey he has it in your wardrobe the next day. Maybe you want that new computer to play with your online friends? He's getting you one but with two monitors but don't neglect him because of your silly online friends. His baby deserves the best and he makes sure you knew that.
Zhongli is a family man at heart as he is dreaming of the day he could start one of his own. He would love to be able to come home to his little munchkins happily babbling as they perked up to their father returning home. He didn't care how long it took as it would be worth it in the end. Out of the two of you he has the most dominant genetics so it's expected to your children to have features similar to that of the ex-archon. if not then he comes up with other solutions he wasn't the geo archon for nothing after all.
Zhongli is surprisingly a very adventurous and kinky lover as he isn't human. there is no humane limit to what he can and cannot do. there is certain things that do cross the line of comfort but that is understandable.
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NSFW
Zhongli admittedly has a high sex drive and a incredible amount of stamina as he is draconic. For your safety and comfort he would never push you to do more than one round unless you want to go farther. if that is the case with your consent he is able to go until morning as he lust is insatiable specially when it comes to you.
Zhongli is fond of dressing you up for him in cute and slutty little outfits just for him. you'd often be found in something cute like this. He loves buying things you like and seeing that little excited face you always express. He has to hold back from tearing the fabrics apart as he didn't want to ruin your beloved outfits.
Zhongli, being draconic, has a mating cycle that comes in full force in a specific part of the year. He becomes territorial and extremely possessive over what he thinks is his treasure, that would be you, often hoarding his treasure to himself selfishly. He becomes so needy and slightly whiny but still manage to uphold that dominance he had. Please don't get upset at him! it's only his instincts that take over he truly loves you too much. He makes a nest out of pure instinct, his willpower at a all time low, wanting to breed you until you carried his children. if you say no, he'll understand but be dejected about it. if you say yes he'll not be holding back anymore.
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volklana · 24 days
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I Could Drown Myself In Someone Like You
Part Three
Part I // Part II
You can find my other Biker!Bucky fic here:
Title Comes from this Song:
Request: Hey girl I literally just found your blog and when I tell you I BINGED your Ride series. Please I beg could we have some more Biker Bucky? Maybe barmaid reader? I really don't mind as long as we get some BikerBuck!
Warnings: This chapter references domestic abuse, and a paragraph of torture/violence towards Bucky. If that isn't for you, please don't read, protect your peace and you can catch me next time xx
Introduction of the Asshole Ex : Zemo
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You sat outside in your truck, drumming your fingers on the dash to a song playing on the radio.
This had become your little routine the last few weeks, sitting outside in your truck while Bucky had his therapy session with Dr. Raynor. She was a therapist who specialised in veterans and military trauma that you had found online, and you couldn’t believe when Bucky had agreed to go.
He had shuffled awkwardly into your cottage the morning of his first session, cheeks slightly tinged pink when he’d asked if you would bring him to his first session and that was how it started and now you were sitting outside what was his sixth or seventh session.
After every session you would take the long way home through the winding Californian Redwoods, with the windows down and music playing. Bucky said it helped to ground him after every session and sometimes you would stop at a little food truck at the beginning of a hiking trail and treat him to a coffee.
Bucky was always quiet on the journey home and you never pushed him to talk until he was ready to, but you were beginning to see the change completely in his demeanour, he was calmer, softer and a lot more aware of his actions. He had taken Sam out for lunch after his third or fourth session and apologised profusely to him and it warmed your heart to watch their relationship blossoming again. You were even surprised when he opened up about what had happened to him in the Middle East, how he had nearly lost his arm through chemical experimentation and torture and how he really believed he was going to die in that bunker until Steve’s squad successfully tracked him down and rescued him. 
You too were having a lot of honest conversations, opening up to Bucky about the full extent of the abuse you had suffered at the hands of your ex boyfriend. You too had thought you were going to die at the hands of that man and Bucky had pulled you to him in a bone crushing hug.
Because the thought of anyone ever hurting you like that was enough to send him over the edge.
So you were taking your relationship slow, really getting to know each other and helping each other through the healing, you both clearly needed to do.
The first time Bucky told you he loved you caught you so off guard. He had begrudgingly  agreed to go on a hike with you, claiming it was very much not his style, but to his utter surprise he ended up enjoying it more than expected.
You talked him through identifying certain trees by their leaves, you picked wildflowers and insisted he smell every one and you took a million pictures of him because you thought he looked cute and fuck if you didn’t make his heart flutter in his chest. 
“It’s right up here,” you pulled him from his thoughts, grabbing his hand and pulling him behind you. Finally gasping when you came to the viewing point at the top of the mountain, pulling Bucky closer to the ledge and releasing his hand to spin in the morning sun, arms outstretched and eyes closed as you spun.
When your eyes finally landed on Bucky, his face was the most serene thing you had ever seen, the sun hitting his eyes making them almost glow.
“What?” you grinned at the way he was looking at you.
“I’m so in love with you,” he mused and you leapt forward to capture his lips with yours, so happy you felt like you could burst.
“I love you too,” you told him honestly and he scooped you up spinning you around as he kissed you with all he had in him
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Steve was serving drinks but attempting to keep an eye on the table who had wandered in and seated themselves about an hour ago. Two muscles he could tell were armed and the other man, clearly their boss, sat back, slicked haired and well groomed. Zemo, your ex. He looked too well put together to be hanging around with these two goons and something did not sit right with Steve and from the side glances Sam was throwing his way, he didn’t feel right about it either. 
“Can I get you fellas another drink?” he asked and he hated the way the sophisticated one feigned passiveness “Yes please, I will take another espresso, thank you.” 
If Steve hadn’t been trained to read people he could have easily fallen for the harmless act, but he was under no illusion, this man was a shark in human clothing.
When Steve returned with his espresso, he stopped him, “Say you wouldn’t happen to know if my friend has stopped by this town, I’m trying to track her down,” he smiled innocently before turning his phone around to show Steve a picture.
Steve tried to control his breathing as your eyes looked right back at him through the screen, he used all his military training to keep his expression lighthearted and neutral “No, can’t say that I have ever seen her,” he shrugged.
“It’s such a small town, she would have been hard to miss,” the stranger cocked his eyebrow at Steve.
“Absolutely,” Steve agreed “Perhaps you will have more luck in the next town over.”
“Perhaps,” he smiled and Steve smiled back before turning on his heel back to the bar.
Steve must have sent Bucky damn near twenty messages and called him just as much but his phone was out of range. In a last ditch attempt he tried calling you, but had the same effect.
Finally, the trio left the bar, fixing Steve up and leaving a hefty tip that he was tempted to throw in the bin.
After what seemed like hours Bucky finally called him back, “Is everything okay?” he panicked and Steve shook his head “Not really, no. Where is y/n?”
“I just dropped her home. Steve what is it you’re freaking me out.”
“Just get here quickly,” Steve ordered before he instructed Sam to close the bar.
When Bucky arrived to the bar closed he was in a panic, which only intensified when Steve relayed what had happened.
“Fuck! Fuck!” Bucky spat “He’s found her,” he was panicking, all his worst fears were coming true.
“We have to get to her, warn her, keep her safe,” Bucky was spiralling but now was not the time to fail you.
The bell over the door rattled and Steve said “Sorry the bar is closed,”
“Not to us it isn’t,” the shark in human clothing spat and Bucky bristled, but he continued “The whole bar is surrounded so let’s not try anything stupid here.” 
Within seconds the bar was infiltrated and Sam and Steve were manhandled, bloodied and beaten to the floor, Bucky fought off as many as possible but there was simply too many and eventually he was wrestled down to the ground, pulled out into the middle floor and forced to his knees with a gun to his head. 
“My patience is growing thin so I will ask once. Where is she?” 
“Fuck you,” Bucky spat and was rewarded with a pistol whip to the face. 
Zemo grasped a handful of Bucky’s hair forcing him to look up into his menacing brown eyes, Bucky remembered how you had shivered when describing him “You don’t understand Buck, he’s secret service trained in his home country. He’s done unspeakable things and he doesn’t care who he kills to get what he wants.”
Looking up into those eyes he could understand why you were so afraid of this man, he was controlled and cunning, the worst kind of bully.
“Maybe we should call her,” Zemo smiled sweetly while one of his heavies wrestled Bucky’s phone from his back pocket. 
“No,” Bucky struggled as Zemo put the phone to his face watching in horror as the phone unlocked, his screensaver a picture of you two on one of your first proper dates, your face one of pure joy as he kissed your cheek. 
“Bingo,” Zemo sighed and rummaged through his contacts until he found you, the unmistakable sound of the video call tone that used to make Bucky’s heart flutter with excitement now it was dread, begging the gods that you wouldn’t answer. 
“Bucky, you couldn’t be missing me already,” your voice came through like a song and then your face fell at Bucky’s bloodied face, “What happened?” you shrieked and then the camera was turned around to a face that haunted your nightmares for months.
You wanted to cry, you wanted to beg him to tell you how he found you but all that left your lips was a plea “Please. Please don’t hurt him.” 
“I won’t. If you are here in the next half hour I won’t hurt your little boyfriend, but-”
“-Don’t come here y/n,” Bucky shouted over Zemo “Run, run far away. Don’t look back.” Bucky would rather have been killed than see you back in that hell.
“Shut the fuck up,” one of Zemo’s heavies shouted and punched Bucky full force into the side of his head and kicking him a few times in the ribs when he slumped forward.
“Stop,” you pleaded “I will be there.”
The drive back to the bar was a haze of tears and panic, and you were fairly sure you broke every speed zone on the route but it didn’t matter you had to get to Bucky.
As you finally clambered through the door to the bar, you wanted to be sick when you saw the state of Bucky’s face, bloodied and swollen, cloth shoved in his mouth to keep him quiet, and Steve and Sam were tied to a radiator, at the end of the bar.
“Let him go,” you pleaded, taking shaky steps towards Zemo, “Please he has done nothing wrong.”
“Look boys, the little rat has scurried out of its hiding place,” he mocked and Bucky struggled against the arms holding him tight, “As she always does.” 
“Let him go,” you repeated, voice shaky, your legs threatening to give way. 
“But he has been a bad boy,” Zemo tutted “He took something that belonged to me, when he really shouldn’t have.”
“I don’t belong to you!” you quipped which earned you a harsh slap across the face and Bucky screamed into his gag. Your hands flying up instinctively in surrender. 
Zemo pulled out his knife and your eyes widened in fear, trying to place yourself between him and Bucky, “You promised you wouldn’t hurt him,” you cried and Zemo smirked “Hurt, yes but I never said he wouldn’t be punished for being such a bad boy.” 
You cried in shock when you were pushed into the arms of one of Zemo’s men and to your horror Zemo began hacking off pieces of Bucky’s long hair with the blade and you cried out in horror as soft locks began to litter the floor. Those locks that you would lovingly run your fingers through, that you would grasp onto when you made love, and that Bucky would absentmindedly let you braid or play with when you were anxious, lay in uneven chunks on the ground and this was precisely when your legs gave way.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” you were crying and Bucky’s huge blue eyes were on yours as Zemo laughed at the scene, examining his handy work. Buck’s hair was a mess of uneven chunks and blood where the knife had nicked him and this image would be burned into your brain for the rest of your life.
It was like a bomb had exploded beside you, you could hear nothing but the thumping of your own heart, as figures ran around before your eyes, Zemo was talking but you couldn't make out what he was saying. Bucky was pushed down to the floor and someone grasped you, hauling you up from the floor and you were bundled into the back of a car before you could even process what was happening. Bile rising in your throat until you wound the window down and puked out the side of the moving car.
What had you done? How had you allowed yourself to become so complacent? How had you ever allowed yourself to think you could have found happiness with Bucky. You had destroyed his life and for what, because you had fallen in love with him? You were undeserving of his love from day one and you should have left him in peace. Instead you had left him in pieces and you would never have the opportunity to make it up to him. Or tell you just how much he had meant to you. The only man you had ever truly loved, lay broken on the floor among the chunks of hair that you had loved so much.
And you were trapped with the man who had destroyed your life time and time again. 
Tagging:
@spookyparadisesheep   @jbbarnesgirl   @salvatoreitmeanssaviour@princesscornbread   @loki-laufeyson-1054 @firstcashheroathlete @missvelvetsstuff     nana1000night   sapphire-rogers   @sarahrogersevans   @steverogerssimpp @spudinthemud   @mrsragnarlodbrok @buckgasms @miss-patriciah-maximoff   @hellomissmabel  @knittingknerdy @shamvictoria11 @buckysberrie @assembletheimagines @dearthofequanimity @wellthatsrandomkek @mitra-k-w @nikkitia7 @fantasticimpaladoctor @feelmyroarrrr @sebseyesandbuckysthighs @andhiseyesweregreen @frickin-bats @buckyywiththegoodhair @iiharu-kunii @bellenuit45-blog @james-bionic-barnes @avengerofyourheart @jaegers-and-kaijus   princess76179   brasspistol  thelittleredrobinhood tiedyedghoulette mishkatelwarriorgoddess @casa-boiardi
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faerytreealtars · 10 months
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⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ “Less Work, More Play” ~ Ways to connect to your inner child ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
Hello again, my dear Saplings! 🌱 I am back once again with another new PAC today that I hope you enjoy, take a deep breath, and choose whatever images resonate with your soul and heart, Happy reading! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
  Being connected to our child-like energy does not mean to behave like a tantruming two-year old or to act naively in situations where you know it is necessary to have a sensible and mature head on your shoulders, no to connect with the child within us in a healthy way we should embrace wonder, never fear trying out new things and remember its okay to be silly and fun now and again, don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself and never mind the unneeded judgements of others. If they refuse to look after the child within in and feel uncomfortable to see yours thriving that's a them problem!
I would love to hear if the message you received resonated with you, so don’t feel afraid to comment, for it makes me so happy to connect with you all! 💕  
Song: Lost Boy - Ruth B.
Faery-Tale: Puss in Boots ~ “Perhaps the greatest gift that can be left to you is something you already have within”
[ My Instagram ♡ / Personal Readings ♤ /  Faery Masterlist ☆  ]  
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Pile 1
[Cards: Ace of Cups, Eight of Swords, The Chariot & King of Swords]
Ways you can reconnect with your inner child include slowing down in life, instead of rushing from one goalpost to another try to appreciate the journey. Collect memories physically & mentally - make an album of photographs from both adventures and ordinary life and fill it with pictures of those dear to you too. Listen & dance to music from your youth or even scrapbook/Journal about your days if you're feeling creative. Don't become another victim of the belief that once you've reached a certain age all fun must die only to be replaced with responsibilities and strict rules! Keep dreaming, keep playing, and keep growing!
Oracle: Benedicta
Don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zones, No one ever grew in stagnation - Just like a plant in a pot too small for its roots your run the danger of wilting. Be daring, be bold, and most importantly true to your soul!
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Pile 2
[Cards: Four of Pentacles, Knight of Cups, Three of Pentacles & Four of Swords]
To connect more with your inner child within you I suggest some much-needed TLC & self-care. treat yourself, you deserve it! Think to yourself if your child's self suddenly appeared in your life and you were entrusted to care for them. How would you treat them? Perhaps you would give them all the nice things they were refused in life. Now is your chance to do just that. Another message I'm hearing is to not burden yourself with all the decisions if you run a business or are in a partnership/Marriage Lean on those around you (spouse/Work Colleagues) to carry some of the load it isn't your responsibility to carry it all - You don't need to feel alone.
Oracle: Rubi
Make time for your friends and family don't feel afraid that you might be missing out on work, or some other important chore on your to-do list, it won't end your world to slow down and appreciate all you've got. Wouldn't you rather make fun and exciting memories with those dearest to your heart rather than worry and stress yourself out over work? The decision is ultimately in your hands.
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Pile 3
[Cards: Five of Wands, The Star, Ten of Pentacles & Nine of Swords]
The way you connect to your inner child within you may include singing along to your favourite tunes, but I'm also hearing a message to avoid conflict - don't go into situations heated and looking for arguments & if it is others not accepting you don't want to engage cut them off and take some time away from them for your own sanity. I would also advise against scrolling through social media or constantly watching content full of bad news or toxic drama. Please don't compare your life to perfect pictures online this is making you lose faith in yourself and your dreams. You're quite wonderful as you are and your inner child says they wouldn't change a thing! after all, no one but Mary Poppins can be perfect!
Oracle: Sir Norval & Elliot
Perhaps you are over due for an adventure somewhere quiet & far away from the noise and distraction of modern life. Somewhere that you can reconnect with nature and the joys of the simple every day. Put down your devices and go out there the next chance you get to fulfill the curiosity of your soul!
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I hope the message you received from the child within was joyful and uplifting to you! Make sure to embrace each day with wonder and joy as that is how you can help begin the first steps to inner-child connection! For magic truly is everywhere is just depends on how you choose to view things.
-Love, Fae🔮🧚🏻‍♀
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soupthatistohot · 9 months
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BSD: An Absurdist Analysis - Chapter 2
Atsushi 's entrance exam, a test of will
[BSD 001] [Masterpost]
This chapter is about Atsushi’s entrance exam, which is basically the test of his will and whether he has the moral compass necessary to join the Armed Detective Agency. 
Also, personal sidenote: It’s really funny to read this chapter with the full knowledge that everything about it is completely staged. 
Anyway, we start with one of Dazai’s infamous suicide attempts.
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Please excuse the watermarks on some of the pages/panels I provide. The online version of the manga that's easily accessible to me has these watermarks and I’m not going to remove them, nor do I know how to. 
I’d like to take a moment here to explain the difference between something being “silly” and “absurd,” because BSD toes the line of this a lot, and I think this is a good example. Silly is more lighthearted and just plain stupid, whereas absurd is something just plain illogical or insensible. Dazai getting himself stuck in the oil barrel while attempting suicide is silly in of itself, but this becomes absurd when he explains that he wishes to die painlessly.
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This is because of the fact that while it’s technically possible to die painlessly and even commit suicide painlessly, it kind of goes against what we consider to be logical or normal. Death and pain live in the same family in our brains, so, therefore, Dazai wanting to die and consistently attempting to take his own life but not wanting to deal with the pain of it is kind of absurd. 
It’s the hypocritical nature of Dazai’s suicidality that lends to absurdity, especially because it’s sort of a “boy who cried wolf” situation (Dazai explains that his coworkers don’t come to save him anymore because of the number of times he has attempted, and even treat him callously when he tries to ask for help). While I’m not a huge fan of this trait of his and how others respond to it because of the lack of sensitivity it’s handled with (especially earlier in the story), I do think it plays into the overall theme. Asagiri’s intention likely wasn’t to make light of suicide or the fact that Dazai’s irl counterpart succeeded in taking his own life, but rather to emphasize the absurdity of such behavior within the framework of absurdist storytelling. That being said, this can also co-exist with the fact that a lot of manga Dazai’s suicide jokes are really insensitive, to say the least.
Anyway, Atsushi helps him (begrudgingly), and they head towards the agency, where Tanizaki is pretending to be a bomber, threatening to blow the place to bits unless he is brought the president of the agency. When Kunikida tries to approach him, he “recognizes” him as an agency member due to his “grudge” against the organization and threatens him. It’s then decided that Atsushi should go out to confront the bomber since he wouldn’t be recognized as an agency member. 
I’m going to pause here and take this opportunity to explain the difference between absurdism and nihilism. While it's true that both philosophies contend that life is inherently meaningless, the difference lies in what we do with this information. The nihilist believes that because life has no purpose, it cannot be found under any circumstances and therefore you can basically do whatever you want. Life is what you make it, essentially. The absurdist believes that in order to find meaning, one must both embrace life’s inherent absurdity and use it as a means to fight back against it. 
So with that context in mind, Atsushi basically tries to tell Tanizaki that there’s meaning in life, to which Tanizaki responds “It’s better if everyone dies!” Atsushi then goes on a self-deprecating ramble, but still ends it with “but I’m desperately trying to live!” 
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Essentially, Tanizaki is playing the part of the nihilist here (it doesn’t matter if I and everyone here die), while Atsushi is presenting an absurdist argument (my life sucks, but I’m still trying, regardless). 
And then we get the most important part of the entrance exam: Atsushi throwing himself on top of the bomb. 
I know I talked about suicide being something that absurdists hate in my chapter 1 post, but I will note here that I think context matters! Dazai’s suicidality is different than Atsushi trying to sacrifice himself, because for Atsushi it’s a last-ditch effort to save everyone. 
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Realistically, would his body be enough to dampen the explosion? Probably not, but what matters is that he did the “idiotic” (read: absurd) thing, and tried anyway. He didn’t give up hope that he could do something to protect everyone in that room, despite barely knowing any of them. 
Luckily for Atsushi, it’s all fake, and this was a test of his will, basically. Fukuzawa and Tanizaki are formally introduced and he gets offered a job at the Armed Detective Agency… which he basically can’t turn down because otherwise he’s completely penniless. So, Dazai has kind of trapped him there by wanting to hire him, which I think is kind of funny. 
And thus ends the second chapter! As I mentioned in the previous post, I might not be doing one chapter at a time like this as I go, but for some of these earlier, establishing chapters, it feels necessary. I’ll be considering it on a case-by-case basis, pretty much. 
Thanks for reading! Please feel free to reply or send asks, I love talking about this stuff :)
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pansear-doodles · 11 months
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do you have like advice for drawing
stuff you wish you knew when starting out or
If there is one thing you should know anon, is that you should always draw for yourself foremost.
Maybe when you do commissions or art school homework that's a different thing, but art is freedom of expression. Please remember this, as someone who struggles the tangent of what is it for me or for others.
Another piece of advice may not have to do with art but for your experience when it comes to sharing your art online. Becoming an internet famous at an early age or being popular at that early age can really affect you mentally in a negative way. And also that you must value your safety and be more wary of how other people (especially older people) treat you.
How would I know this? Because I used to be like that in the FNAF fandom, and that fandom was HUGE. (Which leads me to worrying about the 14 year old who took part in animating the new spiderverse movie, side note)
I do not know how old you are anon, but regardless of your age, do not let people control you or allow you to stray from your path of wanting. You have your own space and others who respect it, you should respect back. Keep in your boundaries. Funny I'm telling this to you, as someone who struggles with it, but advice is advice and if anything, sharing my experience maybe helps.
Another advice, something that's actually art related. It's okay if you're struggling or wanting to find a footing in an art style, but don't think too hard about finding an exact one. What you think and imagine is fluid. Don't be too harsh on yourself to solidify it. Dont worry about not having an identity soon or worry about being samey. You will eventually find something you're comfortable doing, which in turn gives you your identity in the art world.
People always worry about not having a consistent art style, but personally I believe that's a way for their experimentations and creative thought processes to expand and explore.
If you want to have multiple art styles, then that's fine. If you want to have a single art style, that's fine too. Tying back to my first piece of advice here, remember that you should do this for yourself foremost.
Finally, one more piece of advice that I hold dear to my heart: absolutely go fuck-all and grab all kinds of inspirations, even in the media you consume and the things that happen to you and experience in your life.
I love cartoons and I like watching them (and I still do it; a bumbling 21 year old watching bluey). They were my main drive to create stories, character designs, pretty palettes, etcetera. Literally all of my original characters, ideas and storybeats are inspired by at least one or two things I enjoy.
It is always the good mind to get reference and please never be ashamed of borrowing ideas (unless such ideas are made by a niche creator, then consider asking and crediting, addressing where you got it from).
If you are starting out, you can use bases and templates to help you learn basic practices. Like training wheels on a bike. Remember to credit and or ask permission about things you're tracing from, and other resources you're using. Once you're ready or finding something you enjoy or find a footing in, break away from that.
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crypticjackal13 · 1 year
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So I saw in your bio that your requests were open so I had to jump on the opportunity( if they aren't open please ignore this)
Could I request macaque, Mk, and wukong( separate) x chubby nonbinary reader. Like the reader has issues with eating infront of people. They just feel like they need to eat less than everyone else and should hold back on the food. And it progresses where they don't eat out with anyone and isolate themselves to avoid what they deem as judgement.
Yeah, of course! Enjoy!
MK, Wukong, and Macaque x GN!Chubby!Reader Romantic Headcanons
!! WARNING! HEAVY CONTENT AHEAD! MENTIONS OF EATING DISORDERS/DISCOMFORT! IF YOU ARE NOT IN A GOOD STATE OF MIND PLEASE MOVE ALONG TO A DIFFERENT POST! THANK YOU FOR BEING RESPONSIBLE ONLINE :) !!
MK- concerned lad :( I hc that his favorite thing to do when hanging out with people he cares about is having some good food for good company. So when you turn the noodles down, when you don’t even partake in your favorite snacks that he bought for you–he feels bad and worries a lot. However he hates the idea of pushing your boundaries so it probably takes him a while to even ask about it. He tells you that while he can’t force you to eat anything he is worried about your health. He loves you the way you are, he would hate to see you destroy yourself by not eating. In an effort to help he offers to maybe hang out just in his apartment more often so you don’t feel so watched and he will definitely turn around if it makes you feel better. He also amps up his complimenting game and focuses on you as a person rather than just your physical qualities. 
Macaque - he’s upset, not at you, but at the reality that he can’t do more to help you. He loves you and how sweet you are to him, how could you treat yourself badly? He shows you some professional resources like therapy, since he knows that he himself isn’t exactly cut out to solve this problem. He also makes an effort to indulge you in the foods you really like to hopefully encourage you to partake, even if it means he has to face away from you or that you two end up eating in his dojo rather than a restaurant. He always reassures you that he thinks you’re perfect and that he would never judge you for something like this. Macaque will also become more physically clingy so be prepared for that. He may also write some poetry for you ;)
Wukong - feels terrible!! That’s his s/o!!! And he has to help!! Obviously, he gives you some time to see if you’ll come to him about the issue on your own. However if you don’t he’s inclined as your boyfriend to express his concerns for you and ask what steps you’d like to take and which steps you want him there for. He’ll do his best to make you feel comfortable with food and eating, especially around other people. May start off small like eating in his hut and gradually expand to a place like Pigsy’s–either way he will not throw you into the deep end. He gives you a lot of encouragement, even for “small” steps. To him, seeing you make any progress at all is a victory and he makes sure you know that regardless of how you look, he’s proud of you and he loves you unconditionally.
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lemonarcade · 6 months
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to everyone:
we did it! we made it to the end of 2023 :) thank you for being part of this roller coaster of a year that went by faster than my brain could comprehend, whether you’ve known me for quite a while, or we’ve just started getting to know each other.
our world has changed and is still changing very much, and i wish only the best for every single one of you that sees this. please stay safe, take care, and here’s to 2024!
some personal messages under the cut!
💌: @by-moonflower
dearest kesya,
writing letters long asks back and forth has become one of my favourite pastimes.
i send you strength and resilience, hope and light. may you find the peace and comfort you deserve.
thank you for always indulging me in my ramblings; sharing our agony over inarizaki’s aggravating middle blocker, mr no.10 sunarin.
your works will forever hold a special place in my heart (i go back to them from time to time) and one day i might frame your beautiful prose and your use of language.
you’ve seen me through my many many reinventions of the (online) self, and each time you welcome me with open arms and a warm loaf of earl grey bread (don’t mind me, i’m just fondly thinking of the wonderful ask you once sent me). this humble one simply cannot express through words just how much this friendship means to me, but i hope that we can continue to watch each other grow and live through life, just as we do now.
sending my warmest wishes for your 2023 to end well, and for 2024 to welcome you just like i was.
tearfully,
caz
💌: @bflfism
yun!! the beefleaf mutual™ that wrote an amazing lqq fic that i was so intrigued by, despite not knowing much more about tgcf outside of the first season of the anime (i don’t think i’ve ever said this to you, so imagine me running to drop a comment as soon as i’ve posted this) i can’t believe i was lucky enough to have found you and stuck with you through your blog changes (as you did with me). what would life be like if i never met you- nevermind! i don’t want to even consider the possibility 😤
even if you don’t frequent tumblr as much anymore, i still enjoy the connection with have through the dash and asks! and :D i would like to say that you have my utmost support in your cosplaying journey ~ (please see my likes are like little thumbs up and encouraging smiles hehe)
💌: @minkibug
minki my beloved tuxedo cat mutual 😼 your silliness never fails to make me smile as i scroll through dash. you 🫵 will be the best dentist. i also wish that you’ll have an unlimited supply of matcha forever (only the best for my fellow matcha lover). it’s such a joy to see you on dash, whether that be study struggles (relatable) or new kpop fixation (good on you) or random tidbits, know that i look at your posts fondly.
💌: @harubirus
hihi fae! i hope you don’t mind the tag, but i wanted to use this opportunity to show my admiration and appreciation for you. your poetic and artistic reblogs never fail to open my eyes to the ways creativity can be expressed, and even more so from your own creations! although we haven’t truly interacted much, your presence on my dash is one i treasure and hope to continue seeing as the new year rolls by. wishing you all the best with life and hope it is treating you well 🧡
💌: @thelargefrye
🍟 my fry queen! i’m very happy we’ve managed to get to this point and remain mutuals (let’s not look at my multiple deletion and creation of blogs…)
smalls, i will always be a loyal fry of yours; even if our fandoms may have drifted apart, seeing your reblogs and posts on the dash reminds me of how i look up to you. your passion and support for ateez is still going strong to this day, and i really admire it as a fellow atiny.
may you enjoy the rest of 2023 and a good 2024 await you!
💌: @secnghwa
viviii it has been way too long since we’ve had a proper chat! whenever we do have a small one, i never seem to be able to ask how you’ve been doing, so here’s me hoping that 2023 has been good to you. ateez’s comeback brought us back together briefly and it was awesome :D the seongjoong unit song was FIRE 🔥 and your bias slayed every. single. rap. verse.
thank you for being part of my 2023 and i hope 2024 will kick off nicely for you!
💌: @barsformars
rinnie i was ecstatic to see your return! hope this year has been good for you, or else 2023 and i will need to have a talk *cracks knuckles*
i missed you a lot, and admittedly did go through your blog on more than one occasion… it was so delightful seeing you back on the dash :D i never did ask, but how did you find ateez’s comeback? they really outdid themselves in many ways, and this album showed quite a lot of the growth that they’ve done since their last full album.
you’ve always been and will always be a good friend of mine that i will think of, and i cherish the times in the past that we shared 🧡 do let me know if i can keep in touch on another platform!
2024 better watch it and be nice to rin 👊
💌: @yinyinggie
you are genuinely a fairy in disguise. let me squish your cheekies okay (please)
combining compliments from teyval and the christmas tree, i am here to present my end of year words of gratitude to the lovely fae.
yinggie, the moments i spend talking to you are never wasted, and most of the time i tuck some of the words into a pocket in my heart. you are like spring flowers blooming in the company of light breeze, and it would be my honour to be able to capture the essence of the gentleness you exude.
my liege, it is MY pleasure to know you and i hope to get to know you even better with this coming year, and perhaps many more to come (i reiterate my wish to someday meet in person)
i feel like you have inspired and helped me to work on myself in quite a few ways, whether it be directly or indirectly, so please have this token of gratitude 🌷
my parting words to you would be that my belief in you stands strong and you can do anything you put your mind to (taking wise words from someone i know)
hope you have a grand closing to end the year :D
💌: @dumbificat
dumbs! (please let me know if i can call you that) my dear darling, you are so so sweet and lovely, and i’m so glad i’ve gotten to know you this year. your willingness to help others and to put yourself out there deserves all the pats on the back and thumbs up (. you’re such a wonderful meowtual and i would definitely love to know you more in this upcoming year. thank you for being a constant witness to my valorant fails and wins. please do take care of yourself and i only wish the best for you 🧡 cheers to the new year!
💌: teyval
to my fellow server members, thank you for making this last half of 2023 such a blast! it's been amazing chatting with everyone and meeting so many lovely people in the span of these past few months, and i wouldn't have it any other way 🧡
to my jijis, your warm welcomes to us newbie mods really made my day. it's been incredible to work together to improve on teyval as a safe and positive space to everyone else, and the endearing ideas you guys have come up with to bring joy to the members is so heartwarming.
special mentions to mhie, zee, snob, ven, yukari, rosey, bell, nervo, meisha, star, henry, alu, cixi, mr cosmic (and ely) for being gold star souls that are part of the reason i continue to go on teyval regularly.
💌: @hereisleo
if leo ever sees this -> i got a kodak film camera!! i've brought it along with me on some trips and special occasions, and from the developed film it's quite clear i've got a lot to work on hehe
hope you've been healthy and well, and continue to be so as we step into a new year 🧡
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Sexuality, Consumption of Media, and a Small Comment on Parasocial Relationships.
Hi.
Let's talk about sexuality and how we consume media has led to unhealthy and inappropriate patterns of behavior.
I am going to make this as short and sweet as I can so that my point gets across without giving anyone fatigue from reading.
Throughout the years, we have watched on media consumption has mixed with the online world to create something of a little bubble for each thing. Fandoms form from these little bubbles. This fandom can lead to creative works of art, interesting discussions, and shipping of different people. This is typically around a show, movie, or other fictional work with fictional characters. It has created a sense of community for many people and to blindly claim that it has done no good would be disingenuous.
However, with the rise of this behavior- especially shipping- there has been an increase in assuming the sexuality of many characters. This has since begun to expand into the way real people (singers, actors, content creators, etc.) are treated.
I would like to propose that we have stopped seeing these celebrities as anything more than fictional characters for us to morph and shape into whatever we want them to be. Social media is television show and we are creating the story by using these celebrities. This has caused the line between what is okay and what is not okay to become somewhat blurred.
This has led to an alarming pattern of using "evidence" to assume the sexuality of an individual. This evidence can be the use of vague answers in interviews, claims of personal interpretations as the intentions of the artists, and the use of stereotypes that are commonly harmful to the LGBTQ+ community as a whole.
These celebrities are human beings with lives outside of our view. We cannot play pretend with them like we can with fictional characters. I would advise all of us to hold off on the assumption of someone's sexuality until they make a clear, public statement, if they ever decide to do so. We should not be reading into small jokes, song lyrics, clothes, or stereotypes to find the conclusions that we find to be the most satisfying to us. We should also never be harassing those individuals to make statements that would verify those conclusions.
Believe me, I understand the desire to see ourselves in the people we admire, but it is not those individuals' job to reflect to us a successful image of ourselves. These are people with personal insecurities, valid fears, and a need for privacy.
It is a time for respect. A time to reverse this behavior before it gets further out of hand than it already is. I have seen the victims of this pattern getting younger and younger and I am scared for them. Please, let them decide what is true and right for them. You will never know them in the same way that they know themselves. I promise you that.
Thank you for reading all of this. Even if it seems horrendously obvious to you, please keep it in mind while participating in any online discourse.
Have a great day.
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dearweirdme · 7 months
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“I would like to give an example of a live where someone was missing jk. Tae's live, I am pretty sure everyone knows which live, it was completely dedicated to jk. Tae looked rather down and upset in that live, Jk on the other hand seemed ecstatic on yesterday's live. Tae played songs about missing someone, he even sang along with jk's cover of their song. Jk's live was about his songs, he was literally in the dance studio, he talked about mcountdown, sang his song and left.”
let me rewrite that in a way that shows how hypocritical you lot are.
I would like to give an example of a live where someone was missing jimin. JK's live, I am pretty sure everyone knows which live, it was completely dedicated to jimin, JK looked rather down and upset in that live, JK played songs about missing someone. he even sang along with his and Jimin's cover of their holiday song (sidebar: this one was actually on the white day live but the pint still stands).
see? it's so easy finding similar moments that prove that jk's is presumably as much in love with jimin as tae is presumably in love with jk. but of course jk sitting in his living room past midnight with nothing filling his thoughts but jimin was because "he saw jm active on weverse and got caught in a moment", a moment that happened to stretch to 90 minutes, mind you. and it's treated as platonic. but tae comes online for two minutes to sing a jk cover and it's suddenly a whole different story. i would argue that missing a friend for two minutes is pretty normal behaviour, but wallowing in your thoughts about missing them for an hour and half... that's different. but what do i know, right?
Hi anon!
Please go and watch that live again.. Jk was neither sad or upset during that live. He basically did a giggly Calvin Klein add just before starting up Suchwita. He was super cute and pouty when he couldn't find the right episode.
Jk shows enthusiasm and fondness of both Jm and Yoongi. he's following the conversation intensely and agrees with things said. He does not show signs of longing or attraction or endearment or sadness towards Jm specifically at all. He's fidgety maybe, but I feel Jk is often fidgety. I think Jimin and Yoongi's conversation was very interesting for Jk, since during that time Jk was possibly making up his own mind about wanting to release an album. I think his seriousness (which is there) comes from thinking over things from his own perspective.
After watching Suchwita Jk seems pensive, but at no time does it become clear what he's thinking about. To me it looks like he's more busy with the technical aspects of the songs he's listening to than with what they're about. My take on it is that he was thinking about what Yoongi and Jimin said during Suchwita. Serious, but not sad... sleepy maybe. My reasons for thinking that, are that Jk mentions how people can think differently, that he is curious about Jm's lyrics (which he is not familiar with at that point)... I think, Jk is thinking about what he himself should do music wise and he takes Jimins experience as an example of what is possible. We've heard by now that Jk wasn't sure if he was going to put something out.. and this period fits that timeline perfectly. Also.. he shows no signs of being in love anywhere.
He then comes across a Bts teasing Jimin vid.. and goes: "what's this?". Indicating he came across it by accident and found it funny, which it is, but nothing romantically inspired. He enjoys watching them all anon, he misses them all. That is what you are seeing there.
The difference between Jk's live "about" Jimin and Tae's live missing Jk is that for Tae's live... there was nothing visibly there to remind him about Jk. He was listening to music and.. boom... a longing to hear Jk's version of a song formed itself out of nowhere.
You are calling me hypocritical because what, you think I should give both ships the same treatment? How is that even possible? I think one is real and the other is not. I am never going to see what you see, because it isn't actually there anon.
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pup-in-transit · 3 months
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At this stage post-op we are about three weeks out from the surgery. Things are healing fine, but not without some complications:
Wound dehiscence at the front of my canal. It'll heal on its own but kind of slowly. Plus according to the trans care nurse I saw it's likely to develop granular tissue, which is treated very easily but it's profoundly inconvenient nonetheless
Urinary tract infection. Search me how I contracted the fuckin' thing but we caught it early it seems. I was given some antibiotics at my last medical appointment, and I hope to christ they kick in soon cuz I had a fever of about 101.6 this morning. Cannot remember the last time I felt that physically weak and miserable. The other day I didn't have the strength to keep my legs prone to air dry properly
There's a hematoma underneath my vulva on my right side. It sounds worse than it is, and it seems to be going down on its own. Still, it is lengthening my recovery time for longer than I want, and it bleeds out of a pinprick sized wound on right side
Ughhhhhh.
Mentally I've been all over the place. I've been going through phases of regret and fear, which as I wrote about earlier this month I experience when I feel particularly bad. It passes just as i expect it too once the pain and dread stops. It doesn't make it any easier to deal with in the moment though. Sometimes you just have to ride the feeling out.
I get asked sometimes what it feels like to be cockless. The honest answer is that is that I don't know yet. I like how it looks and I love not having something dangle between my legs, but it still hurts. I won't be able to use my new parts the way I want to for at least a few more months. I'm still a little too swollen to find my clit too, and quite frankly I miss being able to cum.
I'm not fucking around with my health so despite all of the pain and fever I'm going through I'm still dilating on schedule four times a days and doing my hygiene routines as required. There are consequences if I don't, and I don't want to become complacent and stop. I've downsized to the blue and green dilators for the time being due to the pain caused by my dehiscence. I can always work back up to the orange one once everything heals up more. Right now I want to be sure that I maintain my depth and do so with the least amount of pain possible.
There's someone I follow online who has a Q&A section about their own gender affirming surgery on their social media who has a very salient point in one of the entries. I'm not gonna tag them and risk embarrassing them (but if you happen to be reading this please know that I think very highly of you!), but essentially their point was that, if you're asking someone if you should get bottom surgery of any kind, the answer is no you should not. Asking that means that you're still uncertain about whether or not it's the best decision. If you ask yourself if you want bottom surgery and the answer you come up with is "I don't know," that isn't good enough. For your own safety you need to wait until you are certain. That could take a very long time but it's still the most responsible thing you can.
I had several appointments with therapist and doctors in order to be sure this is what I wanted. When I am in my right mind I am confident in my choice and I don't regret it. You need to be sure you won't regret it too.
Anyway. My next appointment with the trans health care nurse is friday of next week. Luckily my husband is able to drive me since my brother isn't available this time and I really do not want to take transit for that long in order to get there. Ideally my UTI will have gotten better by then. I'll let y'all know how it goes.
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jung-koook · 8 months
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(about the ai post) also it's not just the monetization part we need to be worried. There's sick ppl out there that will use these apps to fuel their demented fantasies and there's evil people who will use it to spread hate, start rumors, make accusations, etc. Ai isn't fun and games. Besides that, AI is stealing other people's artwork. All the time. It's how it works. Ai is bad all around and no one should be using it.
I agree with everything you said. as someone who was born in japan and if you have ever lived in japan, you have the right to say that you know how it can affect people. but I feel like these types of ai are being treated more as something silly that won't affect anyone and if you complain about something you're complaining about something "small". yeah, I had also seen fan artists making compilations showing how ai are copying their art style. and people need to educate themselves more on this subject. they think nothing can happen to them about it but if they have photos of them online, or video, or even some voice file, someone could very well now be using their image on ai. most of the people who are defending it are people who haven't even educated themselves on this subject. jeongguk even mentioned in his live that ai is evolving so quickly that soon people will want to use ai to make music. one of the reasons for the actors' strike in hollywood was because they didn't want to have their image used in this way. and now they are going to a more dangerous level. look at this video. I'm still extremely scared, terrified!! the way this can mess with people's minds in such a negative and dangerous way it should be illegal. this is wild! I really hope it isn't something that goes forward and becomes popular like these ai edits. seriously guys, before you defend something, please do some in-depth research on it. see the pros and cons of what you are researching so you can have a clear opinion on the matter. there are a lot of good things about ai, but there is a very bad and dangerous side as well.
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blakeswritingimagines · 8 months
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Dating Asmodeus would include:
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Loving going out more and more because now he gets to party with you, if your not much of a party person he'll get vip treatments for you both unless you ask to do something else.
More self care and going to spas, giggling with one another while he takes selfies of you both wearing face masks.
Do not ever put yourself down in front of him he'll place you in front of a mirror telling you everything he loves and adores about you and will not let you leave until you believe him.
Letting him do your hair, nails, dress you up regardless how you feel since saying yes to dating him you've become a personal doll he can play with.
No matter how long you've been together he hard-core flirts with you and acts like he's trying to get a date with you.
Him planning every date, party, anniversary to any and all extreme because how else is he supposed to show you off and how much he loves you.
Most dates consist of shopping, going out, spa dates, or a fine dining date.
He gets one of each that he can get his hands on when you show him where your from that has knick knacks normally for tourists.
Him taking enough pictures of you to fill up his phone storage, or his personal devildom online account pretty much just becoming a fan page for you.
Being in a relationship with him is probably the greatest experience of your life. He's really sweet, funny, and attractive. He treats his significant others as if they're royalty, and he loves spoiling you with gifts and other surprises you don't expect. He may act a little bit self-absorbed and narcissistic, but he's always there when you need him. I don't want to brag, but he's a pretty good boyfriend to have~
You can tell by the way he'll dress up if he's into you or not, he has a wide selection of outfits depending on the way he wants to make you feel. For example, if he dresses a little more flirty, you're clearly going in that direction… You can really tell how he's feeling by the level of accessorizing too~ if he's wearing lots of extra charms and jewelry, he's probably got the hots for you~
He's the avatar of lust, so he's got quite the reputation, and he doesn't mind putting on a little show to make you jealous. But as someone who knows a thing or two about love, jealousy, and possession, he'd prefer it if you could get along. He can be a little possessive, but let's keep this a healthy relationship, yeah?
Well, he likes to give gifts, though he tries to keep them from being too showy, he can sense when it's appropriate or not though sometimes he just doesn't care much, and he can't help but give you a little taste of what he can do to you when home.
He knows how to make it up to you if he ever messes up badly. He's always there to listen to your problems with an open mind, and he's willing to do almost anything to help you feel better. He cares about your feelings and will try his best to be in tune with them, and he's always trying to think of new ways to make you feel as special as you are.
Well, you should know that once in a relationship with him, he becomes completely devoted to you. He always tries to be the best boyfriend ever. He likes surprising you with romantic dates and little treats, and sometimes even big presents like jewelry or something fun like tickets to a cool show. He's a lot of fun to be around and even though he might be a little bit vain, he's really sweet, funny, and charming. He's basically the perfect boyfriend~
He's a big fan of roleplay and cosplay, and he's not afraid to get creative. In terms of roleplay, he's very open-minded and nonjudgmental.
He also has a thing for leather and satin as him wearing it, as it really accentuates his form, which is already one of his defining characteristics.
Well, it's actually pretty easy to please him. Just show him some admiration and affection, maybe even some flattery, and you'll get him going. He loves to feel adored and special.
Like a lot of demons, he's an exhibitionist. But for him, it's mainly about the thrill of being seen. So if he knows you're watching, he'll put on a show.
He's pretty experimental. He's willing to try new things with you, and he's an avatar of lust, so he's a bit more than average when it comes to sex drive~ 
Sometimes, he likes to use his powers to spice things up, too. He can create beautiful illusions that can really make an experience even more romantic, or even more kinky if you know what I mean.
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poisonouswritings · 2 years
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hiii so I have been thinking about this a lot, what would the reaction of M3 ( + whoever you want tbh, if you decide to add more ) be if they learn what MC had a pet on Earth with the exact same name as LIs ( or not only LIs ) and that pet also acts like them a lot? The pet was named before meeting LIs I mean, so its not named after them. so like how would MC introduce their pet to their LI? how would they live together?
what made me think about it is the fact that I got my cat before I knew about last legacy. cats name is Felix and after I thought about it he does act similar to the LL Felix (my love i miss him so much where is he). except all the reading and talking of course, my cat can't do that, unfortunately or not. "Felix, meet Felix. And Felix, meet Felix". that sounds silly but it is definitely what I would say.
also one of my online friends has a hamster named sage and they don't know about LL so that has been on my mind even more because. it is funny. sage the catman and sage the hamster (tiny).
sadly, no anisas were found by me...
I'd appreciate it if kept the cat as a pet for MC whos LI is Felix if you fid this request but its not necessary!
this is kind of a lot, sorry for rambling. hope you have a great day!
Man I've had this in my inbox for ages I am so sorry but I'm doing it now so there's that
Felix Escellun
Since Felix has had Stella (and to a lesser extent, Sage), he's already used to dealing with cats and stray fur.
Maybe your cat can't read, but he can certainly lounge around on Felix's lap, tangled up in the blankets, snoozing as Felix reads his romance novels out loud. Sometimes you'll be in the other room and hear him taper off and kinda go 'oh... Ooooh....' and then you hear your cat start meowing and Felix going 'No I absolutely cannot read this out loud!! You shall simply have to experience it for yourself later. I assure you it shall be well worth the wait' and then your cat kinda gives this resigned purr and you're just dying
You can also find them sleeping on the couch together, human Felix laying on his stomach and snoring and cat Felix laying on human Felix's butt and snoring
Cat Felix trying to find birds for Fe to taxidermy? Watching Felix go about his work? Perhaps has a little pile of dead bugs?
Anisa Anka
Let's say you have.. a... rat!
Anisa watches Ratatouille and becomes convinced your rat can cook... tries to let Rat!Annie help her make food by picking spices. It doesn't go well. Please have a fire extinguisher on hand.
Absolutely loves building mazes for your rat. Doesn't give her too many treats but usually has an extra one or two in her pocket. Speaking of, loves carrying your rat in her pocket. Sometimes Anisa sets up an obstacle course for herself alongside the rat one and they race. Winner gets a kiss from you and also a snacc
You know how when you tickle rats they can actually laugh? Anisa is fascinated. Rat!Annie squeaks up a storm. And when you tickle Anisa her fur goes all poofy and she also starts squealing.
Sage Lesath
While having a hamster would be funny, I'm gonna say you have a dog. But like a pomeranian so it's this little white ball of fluff.
Both very cuddly,,, both very loud,,,,, both very easily distracted by birds,,,,
Your dog is nosing you for attention so you lean down and you're like 'Awww Sage!! Who's my good little boy?' and Sage just appears out of nowhere to bop his head against your arm because He Wants Headpats Too >:(
Actually that happens a lot. You're combing Cat!Sage's hair and your dog comes over and starts barking because He Needs To Be Groomed Right This Second ! ! ! The two are constantly vying for your attention. Will growl/snap at each other sometimes. You can keep them in control with a few stern words. Then they both do the sad eyes/whimper thing. Puppies. Dorks.
Go to the park,,, play fetch,,,, they both go running off after the frisbee,,,,,
Both insist on sleeping in your bed. Your dog will frequently try to crawl in between you two to get ultimate cuddles.
Sage would try dog food, probably. Just out of curiosity. He ends up liking it.
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