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kitsunefyuu · 2 years

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Well no shit Sherlock of course you leave their ass if they’re toxic but you know it’s not always that easy, especially if they’re good at manipulating you like some manipulators can be truly evil and make it hard to leave them.

Oh I know. My Mother has an AMAZING experience of dragging me around into her toxic relationships after divorcing my beloved step dad. Dragging your child into dangerous neighborhoods, I nearly got kidnapped there have been gun shooting in her neighborhoods. She gets child support from my dad but claims she doesn’t have a lot of money for rent in said good neighborhood despite it being like a 1000 a month she then gets mad when I say why not just let my dad who has more money care for me? I know ALL about it but the thing is as a minor I can’t leave.

Then gas lighting me about my own behavior want to know what I learned? To stop giving a crap, why are you wasting your energy on them? Why are you LETTING them have that power over you? YOU are the master of your own mind, it not easy you have those intrusive thoughts. You have to fight them constantly drown it out with music.

BUT FUN FACT!

My Mom loves me, can you IMAGINE!? She is toxic as fuck, she refused to let me GO! She could not stand the idea of not having me around despite the fact she was TERRIBLE. My little brother is a little sociopath because of her ‘parenting’ methods. My birth certificate doesn’t match the name I have because she gave me HER last name to use and I didn’t realize it until got a new one this year. She forced me to move constantly because kept being unable to ‘afford’ an apartment until we moved into her parents.

Her MOM just seemed to hate my existence because fun fact my biological parents are cousins. So I’m the god damn spawn of satan and everything I do is weird or wrong because she’s religious as hell.

My mom defended me but she also was like oh she just doesn’t understand, just get along with her, while I’m fucking miserable. I lost all my friends and my ability to socialize because I was in a god damn suburbs.

Want to know my solution? I chose the army.

You heard me, I ran away to the army. Not the smartest idea but I didn’t regret anything I am emotionally crippled but I got benefits out of it.

Fun Fact APPARENTLY: I got a scholarship for Psychology Major because I took AP psychology test and got a perfect score. I could have tried to move in with my biological dad. I could have tried to move with my friends.

But I instead chose an extreme I am more then AWARE of the entrapment of manipulation but at the time I knew my mom ‘cared.’ But she was crippling my independence because didn’t want me to ever leave her. She always talked about me living with her and everything always as an adult. She didn’t want me to grow up.

So please, try to understand. That I base AFO and Izuku’s relationship on a bit of my own as someone with a mom who claimed to have good intentions that crippled my independence to the point I had to run away. And she really thought she meant well.

I never claimed it was easy. Nor every manipulator has good intentions, but you have to try.

#Yoly's talks #Child neglect tw #Child abuse TW #Sensitive subject #[ I'm stressed now. ]

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rockinshots · 2 years

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Grey Zeigler, a Rising Pop Star, nailed her set last night at Rickshaw Stop!! Grey's new single "Sensitive Subject", has gone viral on TikTok. Her vocals are powerful, passionate and the way she expresses her feelings through lyrics is downright penetrating. This young woman has a very bright future ahead of her. I loved all her songs, especially her rap on, "Cocoa Butter Kisses". I highly recommend you checking out her music.

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calliope-p · 4 months

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A GUIDE TO HOW I DREW THIS

This drawing was for an art trade with a friend, but as going through and drawing it I was taking screen shots and notes to make a rough make shift guide to how I draw for those who may be interested :-D I'm not particularly an amazing artist but I sometimes get questions so I might as well make a guide. This is my first time making a guide that doesn't involve me screaming down someone's ear on a discord call so sorry if it's a little unclear or messy ;D

Something that may surprise you... Or not.

Most of my drawings that involve a background don't start with any sketch at all! For the sake of my sanity, or better yet a lack of my skill, I cannot draw backgrounds very well and often need visual guide to work. Using Roblox Studio I start my beginnings of drawings with simply just building the backgrounds part by part, with help from community made objects of course. Though I'm sure some may call this cheating I solely live by the idea of there being "no rules only tools" with art and that has been keeping me happy. Anyways, the next step is for me to position the camera to an angle I think that might be cool for a drawing. Mind you, at this stage I've get to come up with much of any idea for the drawing I'm doing, but I only just know where I want the characters to be. In this case I want them on the couch.

Now I'm sure some people will have issue with this, but the next stage of the drawing is to simply just trace :D (I am using clip studio paint for this but im more than sure tracing is possible in any drawing program lol)

Obviously there is some limitation with this in my art since I think an overly accurate and on point drawing of a background really sucks a lot of soul out of the art so I let small things slip through. This probably defeats some point of tracing for some people but personally I don't care. The next step of the drawing is to simple go over what I have traced from the screenshot and refine it. This means going over it all again, playing with line weight, small amounts of shading and adding detail to the objects around.

Because of how I draw, I like to frame the drawing inside of square on my canvas as a brief preview of how the drawing will look in full. I'm still doing this without even drawing the characters yet to this can obviously change later but "YOLO" On to the next part of my drawing is to finally start drawing the characters. I still don't really have anything in mind yet for the pose so I simply go with the flow and see where it leads me as I rough out some thumbnail poses. This is on a new layer btw. I was told I should mention that...

... since a lot of...

… mistakes and changes...

... Will be made till you're happy.

I'm not here to give you a guide on how I draw for this but really more of a process tour, so when the next step just skips to this, it must definitely feel like a leap. For this stage I simply draw out my characters on a new layer over the background, trying to make sure their line art stands out more from the background. If it looks to close, with a low opacity airbrush I will erase some of the line art on the background to make the character's line art pop out more by comparison.

Now just in case you're worried you may want to change the characters pose later and keep the background, make sure to NEVER erase the background and instead colour under the characters on a new layer with white so you will get the same appearance as erasing the background while keeping it.

That also gives some funny wiggle room to do something silly like this >;P This may be hard to see, but the next step of the drawing is duplicating the characters line art, blurring it by 6% and lowering the duplicated layers opacity. When comparing it to the original, you can really see the POP

And just like that, we have the complete line art :D Now when it comes to colouring, I don't use Clipstudio, I instead move over to a different program called Rebelle 7 for colouring. Using the 7th edition of the program is a new thing, I've been using 5 for waaay longer. I just skipped on using 6 lol. For those unfamiliar, the appeal of the Rebelle software is simply for emulating traditional mediums digitally. I've been using them for the past year or so to make some cool drawings using what the programs offer. I mostly use the water colour stuff but there's tons of other stuff with them too. I'd love to shill it some more, but I'm not being paid, you can do some digging yourself about it >;-) So before moving to Rebelle 7, I exsport my drawing as a png. Please make sure the background on the drawing is WHITE. This is because when we import the drawing to Rebelle 7 we will be using it on a multiply layer so the white of the background becomes transparent. If you are drawing with coloured lines you can export it transparent but I haven't messed with it enough to know much haha A before and after of making the line art layer a multiply layer:

Now this is where the colouring fun begins >:D So how I started with this drawing was by splashing down a LOT of blue teal and green for the colour theme of this image. With the water colour brush the colours blended together really well from the start. Of course you can always go over it and blend them some more if you don't like the appearance. Using the textured blenders gives a cool look to the colouring :D

The next thing I do once I got the base colour down is that I move straight to shading. Typically on most drawings I would start with the character colours first, but in this specific drawings case the shading comes first since I want to keep hold of all these blues.

While shading I'm never too worried about keeping it messy since I thinks it gives my art a special charm to it since I adore the look of messy traditional art.

And just like that, after a LOT of trail and error my shading is done... FOR NOW The next part of the drawing is now coming down to colouring the characters :D

With adding colours to this drawing I am only going to add them to the characters and maybe a few small parts around the background. I first start with making a new layer set to "Darken", "Soft light" or "Multiply". With each new colour I put down I make a new layer for it so I can experiment with it individually. PROBABLY not practical, however that's just how I do it. I'm sure other layer types work fine, it just really depends with your drawing and what you're trying to do. Images below of me testing colours and layer types:

For this drawing, since the lighting is so strong (from the off camera TV) I want the character's colours to be very weak when against the light. The main colour of the drawing (our the base colours I put down earlier) the colours of the characters we are adding are only there to hint of what colours the characters really are. I want the focus to stay on the blue. This will involve a lot of testing.

I'm not really amazing at this so this will change a lot as I colour more and more. Using grey scale view helps to let you know if the colours you're adding are changing the lighting of the image. So make sure to check if you don't want to mess up your shading!

In the pictures on the wall I purposely left empty so while colouring i can give a vague illusion to a picture without really drawing it and keeping the attention to the characters and not the background. this is also a fun time to sneak in Easter eggs if I feel like it

I don't bother adding much colour to the BG as mentioned before, only to the characters. After adding your colour check the grey scale and decide if your image needs any highlights to make it pop

In my case it does this part is optional depending on your drawing.

For deciding where the highlights go I pre pick a colour and go over the areas I want to make lighter in greyscale, not worrying about the colours just yet since it's on a new layer and that means I can mess with it more later :D

Turing greyscale off may not look the best NOW, but messing with the layers and blending blushes may go a long way! Due to Tumblr's Image post limit I'll just go over with the next few parts over text, tho it can really be summarized with a few sentences. After blending it looked fine, however the image STILL didn't pop in the way I had wanted so I changed the layer blending mode to "Linear Dodge". This worked perfectly however I had to re-do some highlights because I noticed mistakes.

But besides all that, we now have achieved the wanted look! I don't really know how to end a guide, so I guess this is it. Thanks for reading! I hope this is a little bit helpful or at least interesting to someone. :D

#sensitive subject #my artwork #fanart #art guide #zerocalcare

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moonchildjelly · 7 months

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I thought I was start to be cured...

I thought I was strong...

I thought my mind was getting stronger...

But the truth was that u just did it because the antidepressants were helping me all this time...

I'm not strong without it... Im literally dependent of another chemical in my life

And this "hangover" of laking of it for at least 3 days is making me scared of myself

I'm so weak... I almost gave it all to lose today...

I almost hurted myself...

I just thought in things I shouldn't

I end up not doing it but I cried and cried and when I think on it again I cry again

I got a little less anxious and stressed after eating something but I couldn't sleep...

Mind was running waild

It still is but I'm trying pulling myself up even that I'm going down so easly

I don't wanna die in my own hands

I'm so scared and I don't know if I can keep on this for even just 1 more day...

I just wanna ear that sweet lies now

That lies that people normally say to reconfort us

But I have basically no one to hug me and that is something that I'm really needing

Please see this not like an ask for help or something annoying like I just want attention...

This isn't anything of that... This is just my way to let go some of my thoughs... And if this one day could be reconforting or something like that to someone else is enough to me... At least I guess...

#mental health #late diagnosed autistic #adhd mood #autistic spectrum #mental illness #autistic community #adhd stuff #audhd #depression #anxiety #overwelmed #tired of crying #lack of antidepressants #attempt against my own life #triggering content #sensitive subject #vent

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elxgantcaptain · 1 year

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9. What's a line your muse won't cross under any circumstance?

Questions for Problematic/Villain muses [accepting]

/ Well, he has no issues with kidnapping, killing or stealing, even from children xD

But I'd say when it comes to sexual consent, during a time of debauchery and so called 'sin' it was easy to come across prostitutes and people selling themselves to survive. James has witnessed the cruelness of men and the kindness too, despite being raised a 'gentleman' the world he was in did not look down on women well, since being on the sea he respected them a lot more and the act of consent, even when it. comes to being with men to. He will NOT break that.

He also will not with-hold the men's rations even if they are running low in the open seas. He won't stop them from singing in the open seas, he will allow them to do what they will in order to keep morale up - Unless it breaks the rule above. As said in pirate code: No bringing aboard a woman in secret.

#headcanons #outofship #suggestive #?#maybe?#not sure how to tag this #sensitive subject

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greelin · 2 days

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unfortunately my thing with getting my blood sucked is NOT just about the eroticism. i also am very invested in helping. i’m a helpful guy

#am for real sensitive to the subject. Which is funny

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meruz · 4 months

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i watched kore-eda's recent film Monster this past week and i truly.. cannot stop thinking about it. maybe my favorite kore-eda film yet

#the subject matter is also just very My Shit so im.. im so biased #monster 2023 #meruzart #i want to encourage ppl to watch this but also cw for child abuse and implied major character death lots of thriller type stuff...#be wary if ur sensitive to stuff like that

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cockyhorror · 11 months

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#editing tags bc i didnt realise this popped and now i feel like i should tell u #u can probably search the article from the bit i included but it's a sensitive subject and not a light read #about sa on public transport in japan #i just thought this bit was funny so i screenshot and posted and got on with my day but yea

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thuganomxcs · 2 years

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he’s a 10 but..meme / accepting / @glorytomankind : “They’re ’s a 10, but.. can't tell the difference between man and machine, -10." -2Bae

“That is because robots are MACHINES that LOOK like machines, square head, square bodies or just exposed wires and shit. You have a soft ass, nice tits and a pretty face, everyone and their friggin’ dog would think you’re human. LET’S not even forget you BLEED!”

#❛ mail ━━ when i rush make your butt pucker the fuck up.#glorytomankind #sensitive subject #XD

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ash-whimsicalfanfic · 1 year

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We Got That Love, The Crazy Kind

Mattheo Riddle X Fem OC/Reader

Word Count: 2153

Warnings: Suggestive, fluff, mild language, torture, blood…

Prompt: Mattheo is awkward about showing affection to you in public, so you both are in a bit of an argument. However, Lavendar has a crush on Mattheo and you’ve had enough. Oliver decides to flirt with you and Mattheo wasn’t having it.

*Y/N’s POV*

“How long are you and Mattheo going to keep up this silent treatment?” Pansy asks, the both of us walking towards the courtyard.

“Until he can start treating me like I’m his girlfriend. I’m tired of the way he treats me in public. It’s like…he’s embarrassed of me.” I say, shaking my head upset.

I saw that he was sitting by a tree with Lorenzo Berkshire, Blaise Zambini, Draco Malfoy, and Theodore Nott. Our friends, however since this whole argument with Mattheo and I started, I’ve been sitting elsewhere with Pansy.

She didn’t have to sit with me, but she was a good friend even though I knew how close she was with the guys. Not to mention, Draco is her boyfriend. Yet, she decides to sit with me so I won’t be alone.

“I heard he broke up with her.” I hear.

“Yeah. They did. Because he couldn’t get enough of me. Mattheo…he’s good.” Lavender says.

“Whatever you do, and whatever your thinking, don’t do it.” Pansy pleads, but I stand as she curses.

I start walking towards the table she sat at with her friends as Pansy started to speed walk towards the tree where the guys were. I grabbed Lavendar by her hair and she cries out in pain. I drag her off the bench and let her fall to the ground. I wait until she stands up, glaring at me. I lunge at her, pinning her to the wall as I punch her repeatedly.

All I saw was red.

I’ve heard girls talk about Mattheo, but typically they stop when they see the glare I give them. Lavender doesn’t know when to stop.

“I don’t know what your obsession with my boyfriend is, but I’ve had it.” I snap breathlessly between punches.

“Ms. Y/L/N, enough.” Umbridge warns.

I ignore her when I see her pull her wand out. She points it at me.

“Petrificus Totalus!” She shouts, but I pulled my wand free, pointing it in the direction of her and shout, “Protego!”

She gasps, seeming shocked I would fight a spell. I let Lavendar fall to the ground as her friends rush towards her. I look at Umbridge who looked red in the face and was ready to fire another spell off at me.

“Expelliarmus!” I shout.

Her wand goes flying away from her and I storm out of the courtyard, heading towards the Slytherin dorms. I get to mine, slamming the door shut and locking it before going to my bathroom. I close the door, locking it as I look at myself in the mirror.

What have I done?

I’m suppose to mad at him, yet I can’t ignore what Lavendar says…he wouldn’t do that to me. He wouldn’t be with someone else…right? No…that’s…that’s not my Mattheo.

Who said he was still your Mattheo?

I shake my head, ignoring the stinging in my eyes. I turn the water on and watch the water turn a red-pink color as it washes away Lavendar’s and I’s blood. I grab my wand, pointing at one hand.

“Episkey.” I whisper.

I watch the hand heal before I grab my wand and point it at my other hand, doing the same. I look at myself in the mirror. Who have I become?

I was forced to stand at the front of the class and receive my punishment from Umbridge. She grabs her chair and makes me sit.

“You’ll be punished for the fight you started and then you’ll be punished for ignoring orders from a Professor.” She says.

She gave me a notepad and a quill. I was very aware of what this meant.

“How many lines?” I ask.

“I’ll let you know when it’s finished. I want you to write, “I will not disobey orders”, understood?” She asks.

“Understood.” I say shortly.

I clench my jaw, starting to write my lines as if it didn’t bother me. I ignored the stinging at the back of my eyes and focused on the quill in hand as she taught away. I take in a slow deep breath before letting it out. Blood dripped down my hand and was dripping to the floor. My hands shook slightly, but I continued to do as asked.

“Alright. Good. It’s been half the class. How’s your hand?” She asks.

“Peachy.” I say bluntly, looking up at her with a blank stare.

“Is this you talking back?” She asks.

“You’d know if I was talking back. What next?” I ask.

“I don’t think your punishment is working,” she says as she pulls her wand out, “imperio.”

“What the hell are you doing?” I ask.

“Take the quill, write on your arm. Write mudblood. Until I say stop.” She says.

“You can’t do this!” Mattheo snaps.

“It’s against the rules.” Harry adds, looking quite frightened.

I grimace as I bring the quill to my arm and it digs into it as I write the saying I’ve heard all across my life. I close my eyes, my hand moving and continuously writing “mudblood” into my arm, going deeper each time.

“Mr. Riddle, Mr. Potter, enough. I can punish my students how I like. Maybe this will teach her a lesson.” She says, before going back to teaching.

I opened my eyes, looking at the word that was carved into my arm. A word that haunts me far too much. Maybe that’s why Mattheo is so embarrassed of me. I’m a mudblood. That is who I will always be.

“Alright Ms. Y/L/N, you can stop.” She says and I felt a weight lifted off me.

I throw the quill and pad of paper in her direction as I stand, walking out of the room as I ignore her calls. I get to the Slytherin dorms and Snape stops me.

“It’ll scar, but let me heal it.” He says.

“It’s fine.” I mutter.

He grabs my arm with a sigh, using his wand to heal it. I nod before walking away towards my dorm where I close the door and lock it.

I pull my shirt off and pull on a long-sleeve, wanting to hide that horrid word before I lay on my bed. I hear a knock on my door, but I ignore it.

“It’s me.” Pansy says.

I stay quiet, staring at the wall. She sighs, knocking again.

“Let me in. Let us in. We want to make sure your okay. That wasn’t okay of Umbridge to do. That was…torture.” She says.

“I’m okay. I want to be alone, so leave me alone.” I say calmly, fighting my turmoil of emotions.

I couldn’t avoid them forever. I avoided them for a good two weeks, by holing myself up in my dorm. Snape brought me my work, but he said I had to return to my classes today.

I was dressed in a long-sleeve shirt and a pair of ripped jeans. I never wore long-sleeves, but I couldn’t get that horrid word off my arm.

I put my hair up in a messy bun, looking at myself in the mirror blankly. I’ve gotten paler over the past two weeks which could be from not eating like I normally should. I had bags under my eyes and my eyes in general just looked tired.

I grab my bag and wand before I began to head towards Umbridge’s class. I walk in and she looks at me surprised.

“And I thought you left Hogwarts.” She mocks.

“And I wish someone Avada Kedavra’d you. Yet, your still here.” I say tiredly, going to my empty seat at the back of the class.

“Do we need to repeat your punishment?” She asks.

“Go on with teaching. Your punishment did nothing the first time and I doubt it would do anything this time.” I snap.

“And detention, Potter. I said, Cedric’s death was a tragic accident.” She says, turning her focus on him.

“Like your birth?” I ask annoyed.

“Y/n, enough.” Mattheo’s whispers harshly.

“Y/L/N, leave my classroom now. I’ve had enough.” She says calmly.

“Gladly.” I say, standing to gather my stuff as she starts to lecture me.

“Umbitch. Lecturing me, and shouting at me, and telling me to hurry up isn’t going to get me to move faster. You should’ve been killed months ago cause you are such a pain in the ass. How did you end up here? Honestly because you are pretty fucked up,” I say, laughing before looking at her, “and you don’t own me.”

I walk out of the room as Draco whistles.

“Damn.” Mattheo mutters.

I was in the courtyard working on my studies as everyone else finally filed out. I was sitting at the table Pansy and I had been occupying before I holed myself up in my room. Pansy and the guys join us.

“Hey, how are you?” Pansy asks softly.

“I don’t need pity and treated like I’m so broken glass doll.” I say, flipping the page of my textbook.

“We are your friends. We care about you.” She says.

“Well care less.” I say annoyed.

“Snape said it scarred.” She says.

“And if it did?” I ask.

“I know how much you hate that word. Your a powerful witch though. Better than Granger. Let me see it.” She says.

“Y/N.” Oliver says.

“Yes, Oliver?” I ask, looking up.

“Can we talk…alone?” He asks.

My eyebrows furrow, but I nod slowly. I follow him towards a tree that wasn’t occupied, away from everyone. My eyes flicker to my table to see that they kept glancing over and Mattheo was watching intently. I didn’t miss the look of jealously.

“Would you like to go out with me sometime?” He asks.

“Your pathetic, Oliver! You called me over here, to ask me out when you know I have boyfriend!” I exclaim, glaring at him.

“He doesn’t have to know. And he acts like you both aren’t together anyway. I can treat you better.” He says.

“In your wildest dreams, Wood. Get away.” I snap, going to walk past him, but he grabs my arm.

I pull my arm free, backing myself up against a tree as he steps forward. He brushes a strand of hair out of my face that must’ve fallen out from the bun.

“It’s always been you, Y/L/N. Mattheo doesn’t have to know about this. You and I…we’d be a better couple. I could treat you better.” He says.

“You’re a real piece of work, Wood. I love Mattheo, even if he doesn’t show his feelings towards me in public, I love him. Nothing will happen between you and me. Now, let me go.” I snap.

*Mattheo’s POV*

“I think Oliver is flirting with her.” Draco says.

I watch her and could tell she was uncomfortable. She seems upset after whatever he says and was glaring at him. She goes to walk past him, but he grabs her arm and I clench my jaw.

“Don’t do it man.” Theo warns.

“Ah shit. He’s backed her up against the tree and is going in for a kiss.” Lorenzo says.

I get up, storming towards the two of them and I push Oliver down to the ground as Pansy pulls Y/N into a hug.

“Okay, motherfucker now you got my attention.” I say, grinning as I start throwing punches at him.

“Not again.” Lorenzo sighs.

“Mattheo! Come on man! Stop! Umbridge will flip!” Draco snaps.

He and Lorenzo were trying to pull me off of Oliver, but all I saw was red. He touched her and he knew she is mine.

“Don’t you ever fucking touch her again! She’s mine, Wood! Next time I’ll kill you!” I snap.

“Mattheo…please.” She whispers.

I freeze, before looking over my shoulder to see that Pansy and Theodore were holding her back from coming to me. I’ll thank them for that later. Oliver hits me, and I turn back to him and hit him again before getting up.

I walk to her, pulling her towards me. She looks up at me with watery eyes. I lose a hand in her hair, messing up the bun. I pull her closer to me as I lean down and kiss her roughly.

Her hands rest on my chest as she kisses me back. I pull away, resting my head against her forehead as I look into her gorgeous (your eye color) eyes.

“I love you.” She says softly.

“Your mine.” I snap.

“I’m yours.” She says, smiling slightly.

I pull away before throwing her over my shoulder. She gasps, hitting my back as she snaps at me to put her down.

“Not happening. I’ll put you down when we get to my dorm.” I say and her cheeks flush as Draco “ooohs”.

“Mattheo!” She exclaims embarrassed.

“They got that love.” Lorenzo chuckles.

“Yeah, the crazy kind.” Pansy teases.

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