under the night | three
summary: what's dinner between two friends? + joel makes great parsnips
pairing: joel miller x f!reader, set in jackson after the end of tlou part I
warnings/tags: [18+ only, minors dni] language, smut, oral [f recieving], protected sex, age gap [20ish years], disappearance, angst
word count: 8k
part two | series masterlist | main masterlist
Fungus.
“That’s not fucking funny, man,” Ellie stared at you, as you tried, and failed, to contain the grin spreading across your face.
You held your hands in the air in faux sheepishness, smirking. “Well,” you said triumphantly. “It’s worth 10 points, and it’s on a double word score square, so 20! Fungus is a winner, I say.” You grabbed the pencil and scribbled your score down, staring victoriously at the scrabble board on the platform between you.
Joel’s front porch was cramped as it was, just enough space for two chairs facing outward; but Ellie had determinedly wedged a small stool between the chairs for you to play on. Scrabble had been her idea, after she came across the old box at a friend’s house a few days prior. It had taken a few trial runs for her to fully get the hang of the rules, and on game four, she was really beginning to enjoy herself. Sitting out in the cool afternoon air three quarters of the way through winter, you were relieved you’d worn a thick beanie. It was crisp out, and after 2-hours of playing, the board had an icy layer of condensation settled on it.
“Sorry, kid,” you winked. “Gotta find a way to use that shit to my advantage somehow.” You took a long sip of your steaming coffee, leaning back in your chair to watch Ellie begin her turn. The girl was taking a painstaking amount of time trying to figure out the correct spelling of her next word, when she grew distracted from noticing Tommy wandering down the street with the newbie by his side. He gave the two of you a wave and sidled up to the bottom step of the porch.
“Kiddos,” he grinned fondly. You huffed lightly at the moniker, considering you were in your thirties yet being grouped in with a teenager. “Y’all met Lincoln yet?”
The man behind Tommy was short and slim, with a shaved head and an easy-going smile that never seemed to leave his face.
“I’m Ellie,” she said, eyes trained on her letters.
You introduced yourself with a polite nod, giving him your undivided attention to make up for Ellie’s lack-there-of.
“Mighty fine to meet you both." His voice was low and hoarse, in a way that sounded like he used to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, and now it surely hurt him to speak.
Tommy butted in quickly. “He came all the way here from Canada, so I thought I’d be hasty with introducing him to some friendly faces.”
“Ooh Canada,” Ellie gave a poor attempt at enthusiasm, and you tried not to laugh at how clearly the girl wanted to end the conversation and play her next word.
Tommy gave her an ungrateful eyeroll, and asked, “Joel in?”
As if by clockwork, the front door of the house opened and the man in question peered out curiously. When he spotted Tommy, he emerged fully, pulling the door closed behind him.
“Speak of the devil and he shall appear,” Tommy grinned, reaching out to grip his brother’s hand quickly. Joel made eye contact with you ever so briefly and offered a small smile, before looking back to his brother.
“Doing a newbie tour?” he queried.
“Y’met Lincoln yet?” Ellie asked, to which he gave a quick nod.
“Please, call me Linc,” the man told them all, his gaze resting on your face for a second longer than the others’. “All my friends do.” You couldn’t tell if you’d imagined it, but you swore you heard a low scoff come from Joel.
“So you came all this way by yourself?” Ellie asked him, finally putting down her letters and giving the group her full attention. Her voice seemed to shine with a sort of curious respect.
Lincoln nodded, his face drooping somewhat. “Been alone for a long time now. My girls, they died a long time ago, in those first few months. By myself ever since.” You noticed Ellie shot a quick wary glance in Joel’s direction, who had turned his face away from the conversation to stare out into his neighbour’s front yard. Weird. “I try not to dwell on things though!” Lincoln said, that cheery smile returning.
You didn't offer up any kind of response, as you mulled over his words. His story wasn't so different from most of the people you knew, but you allowed a short moment of empathy for the stranger. You couldn't imagine the loss that would come from losing a child.
“Well,” Tommy broke the silence. “Let’s continue this tour.”
“I’ll head out with you, I gotta stop by and see Maria,” Joel started down the porch steps, and you tried not to stare at his back as he walked away from the house.
It had been almost two weeks since the night you and Joel had almost kissed, and since then the pair of you had never been alone. It wasn’t purposeful, at least on your part. But you were acutely aware that he would only appear in your presence when he knew there was going to be other people present.
When you thought back on that night, your heart would swell remembering the soft way he spoke to you; the care in his eyes. But it was directly followed by the memory of how you rejected his kiss. Your chest ached with longing at the thought of getting a do over.
The cycle of avoidance ended at last when he noticed you walking the streets by yourself one afternoon.
“Hey there,” he murmured, falling into step beside you. “Where you headed?”
“Just wandering around,” you replied slowly, staring at him in something akin to shock.
“Care for some company?”
“Well, who’d you have in mind?” you teased in an attempt to act casual, ignoring the quick thrum of your heart.
“This grumpy old Texan,” he chuckled. “He doesn’t get out much, but he’s great once you get to know him, I swear.”
You turned your head to grin at him. “Sounds like a riot, I’ll take him.”
The pair of you roamed aimlessly around town for an hour, talking and catching up. Your stomach filled with warmth; you had missed speaking to him. Missed the way your name sounded coming from his mouth.
“Y’know,” Joel began after a batch of silence. You had almost reached your house, and it seemed the walk was coming to a natural end. “I was wondering if you’d come to the house for dinner tonight.”
“Oh,” you said in surprise, stopping and staring at him. He ground to a halt a few steps ahead of you, and turned awkwardly. "You're asking me to dinner?"
"I am."
"Was this Ellie's idea?"
Joel rubbed his hands together in front of him. “No, uh,” he paused thoughtfully, not quite meeting your eye. “The kid's out tonight. It would… it would just be you and I.”
“I see,” you said, trying to read his expression.
“I understand if-“
"You've been avoiding me." His eyebrows twitched into a frown, and he licked the corner of his lip.
"Not on purpose," he said.
"You've been accidentally avoiding me?" you asked, knowing the wrinkle between your eyebrows was no doubt identical to his.
"I thought you wouldn't want to see me," he finally admitted, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I felt like a fuckin' ass the other night. I overstepped-"
"Joel," you tried to interrupt but he shook his head, continuing.
"No, you needed support, and it wasn't the time or place for that shit, I shouldn't have.... I shouldn't have."
Your heart beat wildly as he spoke. Arms wrapping around yourself to protect from the cool wind, you nodded slowly.
"I appreciate that."
The pair of you were silent for a beat, just watching each other. Joel's eyes seemed to roam over your entire face, and then downward. He stared fondly at your frame wrapped up in his old black jacket, and then said, "Let me cook us dinner."
“That sounds lovely. I’ll be there, Joel.”
His eyes lit up softly, and sweet crow’s feet appeared beside them as he smiled at you.
“It’s just dinner,” you mumbled to yourself in frustration, willing your feet to move. Your legs were locked as you stood on the road, staring at Joel’s front door. “It’s dinner, you love dinner.”
Taking a deep breath, you propelled yourself forward and rapped your knuckles sharply against the door. Your skin was hot underneath the layers of clothes you wore.
When it swung open, relief washed over you like cold water, and you were delighted to see Joel standing there. Damp hair slicked back, with a clean bottle green shirt hugging his body. Most times you saw him he'd be dressed in the same old clothes, with dirt and grime smeared across his skin from long days of work. The difference was stark, and it made your throat feel tight. So fucking handsome.
He said your name simply, staring you down.
“Joel,” you imitated his tone, holding back a laugh at the odd greeting. “Hope you remembered inviting me over.”
He rolled his eyes, and you swore you saw a faint flush rise in his cheeks. Clearly, he’d been expecting you; that much could be told by his appearance, and by how clean the house was when you stepped inside.
The cushions on the couch were fluffed and placed neatly, rather than haphazardly like normal. It even looked like he’d dusted the bookshelves.
“Something smells delicious,” you inhaled deeply, turning to see him wringing his hands nervously. He nodded his head towards the kitchen, encouraging you to follow him.
“It’s almost done, just needs some finishing touches.”
“What’s on the menu?”
“Rabbit.”
You enjoyed the smells of roasting meat as he worked in the kitchen. He piled the food onto two plates with careful precision, before picking them up and leading you to the table. With a swell in your chest, you saw that he’d already set two places with cutlery and glassware. Seeing this side of him, this domesticity, was almost unnerving. It was like a trapdoor had been opened, and he’d ushered you inside quickly, exposing a secret, soft, part of his personality. You felt privileged to have it bared to you.
“This looks lovely, Joel, thank you.”
“No need to thank me,” he replied brusquely.
“Well, I will anyway,” you retorted. “This looks better than anything I could ever cook.” You dug in eagerly, and an involuntary moan slipped past your lips as the flavour of the rabbit hit your tastebuds for the first time.
While you ate, you took the time to notice more details of his home. It wasn’t very cluttered, but small sentimental items were placed around. It felt so intimate to be there. You’d been in the house before, but it had always been brief. A pause in the kitchen while Ellie grabbed her bag from the bungalow, or a quick rifle through the pantry for a tea bag before you returned to the porch. Being able to sit, and take it all in, felt so good.
You discussed his patrols, your work at the stables. He asked if you'd made anymore friends, and smiled when you told him Ellie was your favourite person in Jackson. The conversation was light, and non-committal. Where you both avoided chit chat with everyone else in town, it seemed to be all you could do for that first hour in each other’s company.
And amidst it all, the silent tension between you seemed to have spiked again. All your shy, private interactions around Jackson for the past few months. All the smiles, and hushed laughs, and eyerolls. All the times you’d shamefully admired his looks, his strong hands. The almost kiss and the conversation from earlier danced around your mind while he spoke to you. Was tonight the night it all came to a head?
“So,” he said. “How was the rest of your day? After your walk, I mean.”
“Well,” you shrugged. “To be honest, I was just waiting around the house before I could come over here.”
“You could’ve come earlier,” he said.
“And crash your spring-cleaning session?” you scoffed teasingly. “I couldn’t possibly.”
That flush returned to his cheeks, and he took a quick sip from his glass of water. “No shame in keeping a clean house.”
“No shame at all,” you murmured with a smirk, knowing damn well you and Cal’s house looked like a pair of wild animals lived in it. Clothes strewn haphazardly around; dirty mugs littered across the kitchen counter.
You ate in silence for a while after that. The food was incredible. A medley of herbs and spices speckled the tender meat, and he'd glazed parsnips in honey and thyme. They were sweet and sticky and reminded you of something your mom made when you were a kid. You savoured every single bite.
Unable to help it, your eyes fell closed and you hummed happily, sinking back into the chair. Cutlery clinking against a plate made you look up, and you found Joel with an empty plate, watching you with a fond expression.
“What?” you reddened, placing your knife and fork carefully onto your now sparkling clean plate.
“Nothing,” he murmured. “It’s nice to… to see you like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like,” Joel seemed to struggle for the words, scratching his beard absentmindedly. “… happy. It’s nice to see you smilin’.” His eyes flicked ever-so-slightly down, and you knew he was looking at the scar on your cheek.
“Oh,” you whispered, mouth slightly ajar with surprise. You went to say something, anything, but he interrupted quickly, chair scraping against the hardwood floors as he stood up.
“Are you finished?” He took your plate before you could answer, and stalked into the kitchen.
As you rose to follow him you flinched at the sound of metal clattering against the ground. Joel was crouched in the kitchen, picking up a knife from the floor. He grunted with the effort, knees cracking sharply as he straightened up.
“I feel like such an old man sometimes,” he grumbled, tossing the cutlery into the sink.
You sidled up beside him and rested your palms against the counter, gazing at the side of his expressionless face.
“Well, how about I wash, and you dry. Sound good old man?” you winked, using his own words against him. He cracked a half smile and looked over to you.
“Yeah, yeah,” he rolled his eyes. “Sounds good.”
You worked in a comfortable quiet, cleaning the dishes and tidying up his kitchen. For a minute, you began to worry that maybe the two of you had finally run out of mindless topics to entertain yourselves with. Your stomach twisted faintly at the thought of the night coming to an end so quickly.
But in the instant that the kitchen was restored to its natural order, Joel squashed down that feeling.
“Stay for a whiskey?” he offered, and you revelled in what you thought was hope in his tone. Your mind flashed back to that night weeks before, when you’d been desperate for him not to leave your home. You could stay a bit longer if you want to.
“How about a wine?” you smiled bashfully.
“Let’s see what I got.”
He disappeared up the stairs and returned a few minutes later holding a dusty bottle of red wine up in the air. You let out a low whistle, nodding in approval. Joel removed the cork with ease, and soon enough you were reclining beside each other on his couch, enjoying the deep fermented berry flavours of the wine. He’d started a small fire in the hearth, and it crackled quietly, offsetting the awkward tension permeating between you. You could feel sweat dampening your palms, but you pushed down the feelings of nervousness, hoping he wasn’t noticing the effect this prolonged alone time with him was having on you.
“I can’t remember the last time I drank good wine,” you sighed wistfully, licking your lips greedily. You heard him clear his throat, and caught him staring at your mouth with dark eyes.
“Been a while for me too,” he admitted, eyes lifting to meet your gaze. “Stick with liquor most of the time. But this… this is definitely nice.”
You hummed happily into your glass.
“You know,” he started. “What you were saying earlier, about just waiting around before coming over here… you could have, you know?”
“Could have what?”
“You could’ve come over,” he cleared his throat. “This place is… you’re always… you’re welcome here.”
“Well, that’s sweet and all, but I wouldn’t want to impose on you or Ellie.”
“Ellie adores you,” he stated firmly.
Your mouth moved without your permission, forming the words too quickly for your brain to register. “And you?”
He frowned slightly, “And me?”
“I’m welcome here because Ellie adores me…” you trailed off, waiting for him to fill in the gap. Half a glass of wine, and it seemed you were more forward than you’d ever been with him. But the game of cat and mouse was getting old, and you figured maybe this was your chance to gain some clarity on the situation.
Dinner and wine between…two friends? What was this?
“I think you…” his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, shifting uncomfortably on the sofa, before turning to face you front on. “I think you’re lovely.”
His big brown eyes shined with earnest, gazing endlessly into your own.
“What does that mean?” you pushed further, grip on your wine glass tightening. You couldn’t read his face. Those eyes seemed to darken, and he took a deep breath.
“It means you’re always welcome here.” He was talking in circles, and he seemed to realise it too, shutting his eyes and grimacing. “I’m no good at this,” he admitted with a humourless chuckle. “What I’m trying to say is that I like it... when you’re around. I like being near you.”
You could tell from how tight he gripped his glass, that it wasn’t an easy admission for him to make. Yet his voice was laced with sincerity.
He continued softly, “I don’t… talk to people, the way I talk to you. I didn’t think it was something I could do anymore. But it feels so… easy, with you. Easy to just be around you. It don’t make sense to me.”
You could see the weight of Joel’s honesty; how it manifested in his hunched shoulders. He was scared to say these things.
“I like being near you too,” you reciprocated, body instinctively shifting toward him. You were perched precariously, with your chest tilted forward, all your weight balancing on your right hand that gripped the sofa cushion in between you. “I was worried I made you think otherwise.”
He didn’t speak for a moment, eyes darting wildly across your face before his gaze settled solidly on your mouth. Intuitively, your tongue darted out to wet your bottom lip. “I like being near you,” he repeated slowly. “And… I gotta say, I’m nervous as hell to try my luck at kissin’ you again.”
Heat flared inside your stomach, and that was all you needed to push forward and press your lips against his.
Joel’s lips always looked chapped, but they were soft, and pushed eagerly against your own. For a moment, that was all it was. Your lips pressed gently against each other's, soft breaths rushing from your nose. He pulled back, and stared at you with a contemplative expression. Smiling shyly, your hand landed on his knee and squeezed it gently.
And then he placed his hand on your cheek, tilting your head ever so slightly to the side, and kissed you again.
You sighed as his tongue swiped along your bottom lip, before eagerly pushing into your mouth. The taste of red wine and parsnips invaded your mouth, and you reached up to place a hand on the side of his neck. His thumb stroked your cheekbone softly, fingers drifting into the hair behind your ear, cradling your face. You could feel his pulse racing under the skin, and gasped wetly into the kiss as his free hand landed on your waist. Devastated to break the moment, you pulled back for a breath of air, scraping your teeth across his bottom lip, and nipping it gently.
Joel grunted, gripping your waist and pulling you across the couch so you were above him, hovering over his lap. While you took deep breaths, he pressed sweet kisses along your cheek, down your chin, and to the skin of your neck. He was insatiable, not taking his mouth off you for a second.
You trailed your hands through his dark hair, smiling at the soft groan that he let out in response to the sensation. You did it once, twice more, wanting to hear the noise again, but suddenly he pulled off from your skin. His chest heaved with heavy breaths, and he ran his fingers lightly along your clothed hips while staring up at you. His eyes were heavy with longing, lips wet from your kisses, and you were certain it was the most attractive he'd ever looked.
“What are we doing here?” Joel asked quietly, licking his lower lip. A laugh sprinkled from your mouth, and he joined in, the sounds mixing beautifully in the air. He was chuckling, but his eyes shone with uncertainty, searching yours for clarity.
“What do you mean, Joel?”
“I mean, what are we doing?” he echoed. It clicked. The last time you'd been this close you had trusted Joel, told him about your past. And here he was, giving you an out. He was saying, you’re the boss, you tell me what happens next. You could feel your pulse thrum between your thighs.
“What you say goes,” he said softly, reaching up to trace his fingers over the scar on your cheekbone.
“I want you,” your voice cracked on the third word, and if your cheeks weren’t already red from the excitement of the kiss, you would’ve blushed at how needy it sounded. But your tone was sure, and Joel nodded once, his grip on your waist tightening slightly.
He pulled you closer so your chests were flush against one another, and you rested your forehead against his. “You have no idea how many times I’ve imagined you saying those words.”
You shook your head at him in mock exasperation, but really, you just didn’t know how to respond to that. So instead of speaking, you kissed him again. You looped your arms lazily around his neck and pushed your tongue into his mouth, stealing the breath from his lungs. He made you feel desperate.
Joel’s hands drifted from your waist down your back, resting carefully just above the waist band of your pants. You reached back and took his hand, pushing it down to rest lower. Quickly, he slid both of his hands into your back pockets, gripping your ass through your pants.
You whimpered into his mouth, and he swallowed the sound greedily. He removed the space between your lower halves, pulling you down so you rubbed against him. The feeling of him, firm beneath the zipper of his jeans, sent a jolt through your system. He ground up against you, breathing heavily against your lips, eyes open and watching your reactions. For a moment you felt a wave of shyness rush through your system. For years, no one had seen this side of you. The vulnerability was intense, and you tucked your face against his neck. Joel gripped your chin and pushed your face back into his line of sight, shaking his head.
“Let me see you,” he breathed. “I don’t wanna miss a single thing.”
Holding eye contact, he dragged his fingers across your belt, and started undoing the leather strap. Your hand stopped over his.
“Not here,” you said. “Upstairs.” He gripped the back of your thighs and stood up from the couch in a swift movement, walking you up the stairs. You peppered kisses along his neck, swiping your tongue along the pulsing artery under his tanned skin.
Once he reached the landing, he used his back to nudge the bedroom door open, and you couldn’t help but pull back to look at your surroundings. You tapped his shoulder absentmindedly, and he lowered you gently to your feet. As if Joel no longer existed, you let youe eyes roam across the room, hungrily taking in all the details of his most private space.
Passing by a walk-in closet, you trailed your fingertips overtop his bedside table, landing on a pair of glasses folded up beside a book. You lifted it carefully.
“An Idiot’s Guide to Space,” you read aloud, turning to him with a raised eyebrow. “I didn’t take you for the type.”
He was leaning against the wall, one hand propped on his hip, with a leg jutted out in front of him. His chest rose and fell quickly as he struggled to catch his breath. Irresistible, but not as irresistible as going through his things.
Sheepishly, he rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. “Ellie loves space,” Joel told you. “Helps if I can understand a little of what she’s talkin’ ‘bout.”
“You really love that kid, huh?”
He didn’t respond, but his eyes were soft, staring at the book when you placed it back down.
A large window covered the wall opposite his bed, with a chest of drawers beneath it. You spotted two picture frames sitting on it and wandered towards them. But before you got too close, Joel’s arms had wrapped around your waist from behind, pulling you into his chest.
His lips tickled your earlobe, his hot breath making goosebumps raise along your neck. “I want you,” he repeated your words from earlier.
You spun in his grip and pushed him into a seated position on the edge of the bed, undoing the buttons on his shirt. With the skin of his torso revealed to you, you gripped the hem of your shirt and pulled it up over your head. Joel’s lips were on your chest, kissing along your collarbones, along the tops of your breasts, as his hands fiddled with your bra strap.
After a few seconds of struggling he sighed in frustration and looked up at you. “It’s been a while since I’ve done this.” You grinned, and undid the strap yourself, throwing the bra somewhere behind you.
A heavy exhale fell from him, and he trailed his fingers over your pebbled nipples. The cold air in the room did you no favours, but Joel seemed exhilarated, pinching one between his fingers, and leaning in to flick his tongue over the other. You squeezed his shoulder and gasped at the feeling of his teeth gently nipping at your bud. As he licked and sucked, his hands drifted down to finish undoing your belt. He tugged and pushed your trousers down your legs, and your underwear went with them. Within a second, you were completely naked in front of him. Joel pulled back and let his dark eyes run over your body.
“I want you on the bed.”
You settled yourself in the middle of it, head tucked into his soft pillows and stared up at him in anticipation.
Under his intense gaze, your skin felt hot. Like whispers of a flame were tickling along your body; heat rising everywhere his eyes roamed. Joel kneeled on the mattress in front of you, and his large hands gripped your knees, pulling them apart. The urge to lean down and cover yourself was strong. But then he reached out and traced his fingers along your torso, from your collarbone, past your belly button, to the dark hair above where you wanted him most.
“My god,” he whispered in what seemed like disbelief. “You’re a dream.”
He pressed teasing kisses down your stomach, along the inside of your thighs, dragging his tongue tantalisingly, making goosebumps ripple out across your flesh. Puffed breaths were whispering along your skin everywhere except where you needed his mouth to be, and you were aching. You clenched around nothing, and let out a pitiful whimper when he finally exhaled over your wet heat.
Suddenly, his tongue licked a solid stripe all the way along your throbbing core, and you cried out. Finally.
“Fuck,” he groaned, inhaling deeply. His tongue was strong, shifting between swiping back and forth across your pulsing clit, and gently prodding into your entrance. Joel pulled one of your thighs up onto his shoulder, and held his palm against the other one, pinning it to the bed. His fingers dug into your skin, and the pressure only added to the sensation of his mouth on you.
“Joel,” you breathed heavily. He moaned into you in response, rubbing small circles over your clit with his tongue.
“Oh fuck,” you whispered, eyes rolling back as you rocked your hips up against his face. “Fuck.” His hand moved from your thigh up to your chest, pinching and playing with your nipples as he fucked you with his mouth. Joel was ravenous and unrelenting, and after living so long without being touched by another person, you felt yourself close to orgasm within minutes.
“Give it to me,” he begged. “Cum for me, baby.”
After a few more seconds of his tongue dragging gloriously over you, you let out a deep moan and shuddered into the sheets, thighs tightening impossibly around his head. Your fingers raked through his hair, holding his face into you as you rode out your high. Somewhere through the pounding in your ears, you could hear Joel moaning with you, and feel the vibrations running through your core. When you finally came down, your thighs relaxed over his shoulders, but he wasn’t done. His tongue flicked lazily over your clit, cleaning you up. He pulled your aching bud between his lips, and gave it a soft suck. The sight of his face pressed into your dark curls made you feel like you were going to cum all over again.
“Joel,” you gasped, grabbing his hair to tug his face away from you. He looked up, slack jawed, with a deep frown across his forehead. His mouth and beard were shining with your slick, and your stomach tightened at what a vision he was.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I need to feel you,” you implored, and the frown disappeared. He leaned in and pressed one final sloppy kiss against your clit, before sitting back on his heels. You sat up hastily, helping him undo his belt, and then watched with heavy eyes as he stood up and removed his final articles of clothing.
His cock slapped up against his stomach, and you couldn’t help the way you hungrily stared at it. It didn’t surprise you that he was big. Something about the way he carried himself; so confident, so sure of himself. He was thick, and long, and your mouth salivated when you noticed precum leaking from the ruddy tip. You watched as he got back onto the bed, trailing his fingers down the length of it before gripping it at the base, and sighing in relief.
You flicked your eyes back up to his, exhilarated to see how intensely he was staring back at you.
“I want to taste you,” you breathed, but he shook his head, bicep tensing as he lazily stroked his cock. “Please.”
“Trust me,” he grunted, eyebrows furrowed. “I hate myself for saying no, but you’ve got me so on edge already, darlin’. Had to stop myself from finishin’ with your thighs wrapped around my head.”
Your core throbbed painfully and you pushed forward, kissing him firmly. The taste of your own cum on your tongue made you moan softly; licking the tang off his lips, and swallowing it down.
You pulled away and slowly lowered down until your head hit the pillows. Joel stared down at you with parted lips and shook his head slowly.
“What?”
“Nothin',” he murmured, still shaking his head. “So beautiful.”
Your cheeks flushed, and you turned your face into the pillows. He hovered over you and pressed wet kisses along your exposed neck, his teeth nipping harshly at the juncture where it met your shoulder. You hissed at the pain, but sighed softly in forgiveness when he lapped his tongue soothingly over the spot. You watched Joel pull a condom from his bedside table, leaning back to rip open the packet, and slide the latex down onto himself.
With his cock in his fist, he pushed his tip between your folds, and you exhaled in unison at the feeling. After dragging his head along you a few times, he finally nudged his tip against your entrance. Your head was pressed back into the pillows, eyes shut and mouth wet from his kisses. You were blissed out already, but fluttered your eyes open slowly at the feeling of his fingers running over your left eyebrow.
“You with me?” he murmured, the soft look in his eyes almost too much for you to handle.
You hummed, turning your head slightly to press a kiss against his palm.
“Gotta relax for me,” he urged softly, tracing his fingers down gently over your collarbones, wanting to feel every bit skin that had been revealed to him.
You eased your tense muscles as much as you could, taking a deep breath before letting it rush out of you slowly. And with your exhale, he slipped inside you with one smooth motion. You gasped at the feeling, mouth hanging open in an 'O' shape at the sharp sting.
“Hey, hey,” he murmured, pressing soft kisses to your eyelids. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologise,” you groaned, relaxing your furrowed eyebrows. “It’s just been so long.”
The pain was already shifting into a faint, dull ache, melding beautifully with the pleasure of being so full. He readjusted his legs, and the movement caused his tip to prod gently into the deepest part of you, and you cried out.
“Fuck,” he gasped, moving to pull back, but you gripped his shoulders tightly to keep him in place.
“Feels good,” you gasped, licking her lips. “You’re so big, filling me up so well.” He swallowed back a pitiful moan.
Joel was thick and heavy inside you, and he knew better than to move too quickly. He let you adjust to him for a few more moments, enjoying watching the way your nose scrunched up and your chest heaved with harsh breaths. You were wet and hot around him, and he felt like a teenager losing his virginity again after his few years of celibacy. But he was determined to give you his all.
“God, please move,” you finally groaned, reaching up to play with your nipples out of desperation.
Without any more encouragement, he pulled back slowly, until just the tip remained inside, before pushing himself forward into your heat. You moaned in unison, your hands travelling down to his biceps. He started a steady rhythm, his eyes floating down to stare hungrily at the way your chest bounced with the force of his movements. Joel leant down and sucked one of your nipples into his mouth, circling it with his tongue and groaning as you pulsed around him. Your fingers pulled his hair painfully tight, and the feeling made the muscles in his stomach tingle.
He was so deep inside, and yet you ground your hips up towards him, wanting to feel him even further. It had his hips stuttering against yours, and he let out a low vibrating groan. Joel’s hands gripped against your hip bones and pressed you down into the bed, seemingly holding you away from him.
“Baby,” he ground out, and it was more of a warning than anything else.
“You can’t do that,” he panted. “I’m not gonna last if you keep doin’ that.”
You smirked lazily up at him and pushed your hips up against his weight again, meeting him stroke for stroke. There was no pain anymore, just a heavenly feeling of fullness, and you were desperate for him to let lose. “Maybe I don’t want you to last.”
“God, woman,” he scowled. “You’ll be the death of me, I know it.”
He pulled out and then thrust back into you with enough force to knock the breath out of you, and you bit your lip to hold in the high-pitched moan trying to escape.
“Let me hear you,” he ordered. “I want to hear you cum for me again, just give me one more, and then I’m yours.”
You let go of your bottom lip, letting whines and sighs fall easily from your mouth. The fire in Joel’s chest roared, loving the way you allowed the tables to turn, and obeyed him so quickly. It was so out of your character to be submissive to anyone. The thought that he had as much of an effect on you as you had on him made his cock throb painfully.
The feeling was so overwhelming you could barely keep your eyes open. He was fast, and strong, but you weren’t afraid, you were activated. Your abdomen was tight with the pleasure, and he pounded into you relentlessly. Suddenly, his cock was pressing into that spot again, and you let out an urgent exhale of his name.
“There?” he growled, angling his hips to hit it again, and again, and again. You moaned desperately, spreading your thighs wider to give him more access.
You’d forgotten every word except for Joel’s name, and you said it over and over. He had reconnected you to something so deep, so animalistic inside of you. Desire was something that hadn’t properly crossed your mind in years, only for brief moments when you rubbed one out quickly in rare moments alone. Not for a long time had you felt wanted – nor had you wanted someone the way you did with him.
Without warning, his fingers met your clit and began rubbing messy circles on it while he snapped his hips. It was all too much, and you cried out harshly as the tightening in your abdomen grew.
Your mouth was on his neck, and all you could taste was Joel’s salty skin when you finally came. Your body wracked with convulsions, the muscles in your stomach spasming intensely as he fucked you through your high.
His thrusts grew sloppy, and his face looked pained, sweat rolling down his biceps. He shifted so his elbows were in the pillows beside your head, and his forehead knocked against yours with every shift of his hips. One of his hands tangled in the hair at the back of your head, holding you in position while he pressed a sloppy kiss to your open mouth. Your orgasm was prolonged as he pounded against the spongy spot inside of you, and you were twitching, close to becoming over sensitive.
“God,” he moaned into your mouth. “You’re squeezing me so tight.”
You mewled weakly at his words, purposefully clenching around him in response.
It didn’t take long for Joel to follow you off the edge, mouth ajar as deep groans spilled from his lips. His face dropped into your shoulder, and you sighed at the feeling of him spilling inside you. He said your name softly, delicately, into your ear, his voice more gravelly than normal from exertion. For a moment, with sticky skin pressed together, and eyes closed in exhaustion, your heavy breaths were the only audible thing in the room.
Slowly, you cracked your eyes open to look around, and admired the way the moonlight shone through the window and hit his bare back. You trailed your fingers down his spine, enjoying the way goosebumps rippled across his flesh and he shivered.
“You ticklin’ me?”
You laughed into his hair. “Just enjoying all this skin.”
He hummed thoughtfully, lifting an arm to trail his hand along your side in reciprocation. “I’m enjoyin’ it too.”
He pushed up onto his elbows and slowly pulled himself out of you. Your breath hitched at the sensation, the pain from earlier returning ever so slightly now that the heat of the moment had dissipated.
“You good?” he asked softly, falling back onto his heels.
“I’m great,” you smiled, watching him pull the condom off carefully and duck into the bathroom to dispose of it.
He padded softly back into the room a few moments later with a cloth in his hands, and used it to gently wipe down your skin. You flinched at the feeling of the warm cloth between your thighs, and he apologised in a hushed tone, working quickly.
“Thank you,” you whispered, staring at him fondly. In that quiet moment, you took the opportunity to admire him properly. His body was thick and strong, all muscles underneath scarred, tanned skin. He had large strong thighs and biceps, but his stomach was soft, and you liked that.
“What’re you lookin’ at stud?” he raised an eyebrow and you smirked cheekily.
“Admiring you is all.”
He shook his head, disappearing off to the bathroom again. You tugged the covers up over yourself and laid there alone for a moment, head clear of thoughts, and sleep so close on the horizon.
“You’re staying?” you heard him, and looked over to see him standing in the doorway.
Your eyebrow jutted up questioningly. “Joel Miller, if you think I’m walking home after all that, you’re out of your goddamn mind.”
He let out a quick laugh, and pushed himself under the covers beside you. His hand slid from your thigh up your body before resting gently over your ribcage, thumb stroking along the underside of your breast.
“Good,” he mumbled into his pillow. “Don’t want you to go.”
You woke with a sharp inhale, eyes flicking around the room slowly. Still in the chokehold of a deep sleep, you yawned into your elbow and sat up slowly. The night before came rushing back to you, and you turned to see Joel sleeping soundly beside you. He slept on his front, with one arm tucked underneath his head, and face squished up into the pillow. Lips puffed out, deep breaths inhaling and exhaling through them. You stared at him for a few moments, admiring how peaceful he looked in his slumber.
He let out a sudden harsh breath, and an incoherent murmur escaped his mouth.
“What are you dreaming about?” you whispered. Reaching out, you let your fingertips whisper along the skin of his back, down his spine as far as you were allowed, to where the blanket covered him. You traced a line over a particularly bad scar on his back, and cringed to picture how he’d gotten it.
“Was dreamin’ bout you,” he said suddenly. “Until you woke me up.”
You gasped, sitting up straighter.
“Christ, I thought you were asleep.”
Joel smiled, eyes still closed.
“And what was I doing in this dream of yours, Miller?”
His tongue slipped out to wet his lips, before settling back into a lazy grin. Slowly, Joel’s bleary eyes opened to look up at you. “Was a continuous replay of last night. I wish you hadn’t woken me up, actually. Was quite enjoyin’ myself.” His voice was husky from sleep, and it sent a jolt of heat through your stomach.
“Oh, is that so?” you jokingly huffed, pushing the blankets off your body. “In that case, I’ll get out of your hair and let you sleep.” But before you could get off the mattress, his arms snaked around you, slamming you back into his chest.
“Not so fast, soldier,” Joel mumbled sleepily, pressing gentle kisses onto the skin behind your ear and tugging the duvet up over your heads.
The stairs creaked loudly as you walked down them, an hour later. Your clothes felt stale on your body; stiff after being discarded on the cool hardwood floors overnight. Your skin was cold, begging you to climb back into the bed where Joel still laid naked, tucked up under the covers.
You were halfway to the front door when Ellie’s voice stopped you in your tracks.
“Fucking finally.”
You turned quickly, trying hard to display an expression of stoic nonchalance. She was splayed across the couch with her legs kicked up onto the arm rest, grinning over a copy of Savage Starlight.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, kid.”
“Sure, sure,” she chuckled, lifting the comic up to hide her face behind it. “I may be a kid, but I know what it means to sneak out of someone’s house at 8 in the morn-“
“I’m not sneaking out,” you interrupted coolly, your face flaming at the insinuation. Ellie lowered the comic just enough for her eyes to be visible, and raised one eyebrow at you.
“I see.”
“Shut up,” is all you could get out, and threw yourself out the front door, Ellie’s loud laughter following you onto the street.
It was a particularly chilly morning, and you gripped your black jacket around yourself tightly. You’d promised Maria the day before to stop by for a tea, and although you longed to be at home for a moment before work, you headed quickly to Tommy and Maria’s.
Knocking once on the front door, you let yourself in, calling out a quick “hello!” so as not to alarm anyone.
“In the kitchen!” Maria’s voice shouted back, and you rubbed your red hands together for warmth, traipsing through the house. When you reached the kitchen, you were surprised to see Maria wasn’t alone. A young woman sat at the dining table, gripping a steaming mug and staring at the table. Her face was red and blotchy. You lingered awkwardly in the doorway, glancing at Maria for direction.
“It’s okay, have you met Rose?” Maria ushered you in.
“No,” you replied slowly.
“You work at the stables,” Rose perked up suddenly, her stare firmly stuck on you.
“Yes,” you replied dumbly. Your mind was blank as you stared at the stranger, wondering who she was and how she knew anything about you.
“Have you seen Milena?” you asked desperately.
Your hackles lowered slowly, and you glanced at Maria curiously before shaking your head no. Milena worked at the stables with you. She was one of the women who taught you the ropes, and helped you get familiar with grooming the horses.
The tension in the room was thick, and you looked away quickly when Rose sniffled, and reached up to wipe a tear from her eye. I shouldn’t be here.
“She’s m-missing,” Rose stuttered out wetly. Maria walked up behind her and placed a hand on the woman’s shoulder, squeezing gently.
“Rose found a note that Milena left for her,” Maria explained softly. “She’s been gone for a day now.”
“She didn’t write that note,” Rose raised her voice. Your heart raced in your chest. You stared at Maria’s face, and tried to gage how you should be reacting to the information. Sweat slicked your palms when you noticed the warily anxious expression the woman wore. “I swear she didn’t, she wouldn’t write that shit. She wouldn’t leave me here alone. Not after,” she paused as a sob wracked through her body. “Not after everything we went through to g-get here.”
“She left Jackson?” you asked. “Did she say where she was going?” Milena hadn’t mentioned anything around the stables about planning to leave the settlement. And Milena was chatty. You had often shied away from her when you shared a shift, because of how much Milena tried to pry into your personal life.
Rose didn’t respond, dropping her face into her hands, shoulders wracking with sobs. The display of emotion set you on edge. You felt like an intruder on such an intense moment for Rose and took a step backward into the doorway.
“I’m going to go,” you murmured when Maria made eye contact with you. She nodded in understanding, leaning down to whisper in Rose’s ear. You spun on your heel and walked quickly toward the front door.
“Please believe me, Maria,” you could hear Rose saying. “To just leave without saying goodbye? Milena would never do that.”
You let the door fall shut behind you.
part four | series masterlist
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Intros, tags and writing masterpost
Hi there! I'm Seiya, aka starsniper! (she/her) This is my blog for assorted blorbo posting and writing, hope you enjoy your stay 😄 I'm updating this post for 2024, and it's a doozy so most of it will be under a cut! Most of the info is the same, so if you've been here a while, don't fret! If you're new, this post is a pretty good rundown of me and my blog.
Writing Stuff:
AO3 Account: starsniper. You can also read my fics on Google Docs!
I'm also on Discord! The Sadman is a multi-ship open server for the Sandman fandom and it's an amazing community! I've even got my own little author's corner there called Seiya's Sexy Scribbles. Come find me and say hello!
Taking Requests?: I am! Send me anything that crosses your mind, with fandom and ship please!
Transformative Works: Consider this blanket permission to create any type of transformative work based off what I've written! I only ask you let me know what you've created either using the "Inspired By" link on AO3 or tagging me on Tumblr, just because I love, love, love seeing that sort of thing.
Tag Library:
As my blog is multi-fandom, as well as multi-ship, I've made a tag library! The main purpose of this library is so that I can more easily find my tagged posts, but it is also for my followers, who may want to find those same posts, or want to blacklist certain tags and topics present on my blog. Feel free to copy my format if you so desire, it's pretty simple! The library is under the cut, and will be updated a lot in the coming weeks as I wrangle more of my blog into some sense of organization. While the library does not consist of every tag I've ever used (that would be too much!), it does contain what I consider the most important ones.
Lastly, some of the tags will have links, and some will not! Tumblr has a link limit of 100 links per post to control spam posts, so only the tags that are useful for me and others to use as a quick search function will be linked. Tags that are more useful for blacklist purposes will not be linked, however you can still search that tag by typing the below link into your browser:
https://www.tumblr.com/seiya-starsniper/tagged/[tag name here]
General Tags:
#seiya talks (all my original posts and ramblings)
#seiya answers (answers out of my ask box! Also includes fic prompt requests)
#seiya gets tagged (for all the tag games!)
#icons by seiya (tumblr icons I've made)
#gifs by seiya (gifs I've made)
#ask game (posts with ask games I reblog. send me an ask on anything you'd like!)
#original art (non-fandom art)
General Fandom Tags:
Note: Some of these tags are more active than others, this list is mainly for my own indexing, and not indicative of how active I am in a certain fandom. A lot posts under these tags will consist of reblogs unless tagged with one of my personal tags.
#the sandman
#dungeon meshi
#dndhat (dungeons & dragons: honor among thieves)
#loki (general loki tag, use #loki tv for only the tv series)
#ofmd (our flag means death)
#bnha (sometimes #my hero academia)
#yugioh (sometimes #ygo)
#fullmetal alchemist (sometimes #fma)
#gossip girl
#blue eye samurai
#interview with the vampire (sometimes #iwtv)
#ao3 (posts about AO3, mostly memes, but may include discourse)
Current Projects/WIPs tags:
#set the night on fire wip
#omegaverse forced marriage wip
#morphienne hell invasion wip
#dreamling memory loss wip
#hobrinthian: hob gets the skull au
#dreamling omegaverse regency wip sequel
General Writing tags:
#writing prompt games (send me a writing prompt from these posts! no post is too old to pick from 😄)
#seiya writes (all of my writing, across all fandoms)
#seiya drabbles (short fics/ask requests, usually under 1.5k words)
#seiya's wip previews (for snippets and previews on what I'm working on)
#wip inspo (things that might turn into fics! feel free to bother me about any of the ones that interest you!)
Sandman Fandom specific writing tags:
#seiya writes dreamling (dream x hob)
#seiya writes corintheus (dream x corinthian)
#seiya writes hobrinthian (hob x corinthian)
#seiya writes corinthienne (corinthian x lucienne)
#seiya writes gaulcienne (gault x lucienne)
#seiya writes hellmuse (johanna x calliope)
#seiya writes dreamuse (dream x calliope)
#seiya writes morphienne (dream x lucienne)
#seiya writes constantdream (dream x johanna)
#seiya writes sandflower (dream x nuala)
Past Writing Events & Challenges I've written for:
Note: these are links to specific masterposts, as well as tagged posts
Seiya's Monsterfucktober Bingo Fills
Sandman Femslash Weekend
Dreamling Bingo Masterpost
Smut May (Smay) Drabble Masterpost (multi-ship)
Smut April (Smapril) Drabble Masterpost (multi-ship)
Smut March (Smurch) Drabble Masterpost (multi-ship)
Centennial Husbands Big Bang
Sandman Fandom Tags:
Note: Because of the sheer volume of dreamling content, I've broken content for the ship out into multiple tags. I've also kept dreamling content entirely out of the #sandman fanart tag as well due to having followers who do not ship dreamling. Other non-dreamling ships may be included in that tag as a result, though those posts will use the appropriate ship tag as well. The same goes for #sandman fic rec as a catch all for non-dreamling fanfic, as well as gen fic.
#sandman fanart
#sandman fic rec
#sandman comics spoilers (anything not covered in season 1 of the Netflix adaptation)
#sandman s2 spoilers (anything related to the filming of Season 2, and Season 2 content when it airs!)
Dreamling Tags:
#dreamling fic rec (dreamling stories I've read and loved!)
#dreamling headcanon (dreamling fanfic adjacent posts)
#dreamling fanart (fanart that I love!)
Other Sandman Ships Tags:
#hobrinthian (hob x corinthian)
#corintheus (dream x corinthian)
#hellmuse (johanna x calliope)
#gaulcienne (gault x lucienne)
#corinthienne (corinthian x lucienne)
#calliene (calliope x lucienne)
#morphienne (dream x lucienne)
#constantdream (dream x johanna)
Other Fandom Shipping Tags:
Note: Same deal as the general fandom tags, some of these are more active than others, and will mostly be reblogs moreso than original content. This section is entirely self-indulgent for me, but also gives others a good idea as to what I ship. I'm very ship and let ship these days, so please don't try to debate me on ships, I won't answer.
#00Q
#taimizu
#xedgin
#thorki
#lokius
#steelatom
#atomwave
Fandom Discourse Tags:
Note: I don't like to participate in discourse, please don't tag me in it. Any past discussions I've been involved in have been resolved between myself and the parties that matter to me. That said, I will occasionally reblog discussions others may prefer not to see, so the below tags are for your convenience. I have these tags linked for my own archiving purposes.
#sandman discourse
#sandman critique
#fandom racism
#fandom discourse
#fandom wank
#ao3 discourse
Content Warning, Squicks and Trigger Tags:
Note: Posts with these tags will include informational/educational posts as well, just to keep things neatly organized. Since this list will inevitably get longer, I will not link any of these tags, but please feel free to blacklist them. I will do my best to try to tag more sensitive topics and also go back and tag older posts but it may take a while! Please let me know if I missed anything.
#nsft (general explicit content tag, if you wanted to avoid all of it)
#bugs (happy to tag a more specific bug)
#spiders
#snakes/#snek
#omegaverse
#pregnancy/#pregnancy kink
#dubcon
#noncon
#infidelity
#age gap
#animal hybrid (all animal hybrids here: centaur, naga, merfolk, minotaur, etc)
#tentacle sex
#interspecies (i.e: human/alien, human/centaur, etc)
#monsterfucker/#monsterfucking (usually also covered by interspecies)
#teacher/student
#racism
#misogyny
#transphobia
Politics tags:
#us politics
#global politics
#palestine
#voting
As a reminder, this post is a live document and will be updated as I find time to do so or, if I think of new tags I want to track and add to this post. I am happy to add additional tags if you reach out to me via DM or via non-anonymous ask. While I do have anon asks on for other purposes, since tagging is a sensitive subject, I will NOT answer anon requests for tags on my blog. If you are concerned about sending an ask from your main blog vs side-blog, Tumblr does let you send DMs from a side-blog, and I'd be happy to talk to you from there. Thanks for understanding!
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