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#scribbles so no main game tag

hier--soir · 1 year

Text

under the night | three

summary: what's dinner between two friends? + joel makes great parsnips pairing: joel miller x f!reader, set in jackson after the end of tlou part I warnings/tags: [18+ only, minors dni] language, smut, oral [f recieving], protected sex, age gap [20ish years], disappearance, angst word count: 8k part two | series masterlist | main masterlist

Fungus.

“That’s not fucking funny, man,” Ellie stared at you, as you tried, and failed, to contain the grin spreading across your face.

You held your hands in the air in faux sheepishness, smirking. “Well,” you said triumphantly. “It’s worth 10 points, and it’s on a double word score square, so 20! Fungus is a winner, I say.” You grabbed the pencil and scribbled your score down, staring victoriously at the scrabble board on the platform between you.

Joel’s front porch was cramped as it was, just enough space for two chairs facing outward; but Ellie had determinedly wedged a small stool between the chairs for you to play on. Scrabble had been her idea, after she came across the old box at a friend’s house a few days prior. It had taken a few trial runs for her to fully get the hang of the rules, and on game four, she was really beginning to enjoy herself. Sitting out in the cool afternoon air three quarters of the way through winter, you were relieved you’d worn a thick beanie. It was crisp out, and after 2-hours of playing, the board had an icy layer of condensation settled on it.

“Sorry, kid,” you winked. “Gotta find a way to use that shit to my advantage somehow.” You took a long sip of your steaming coffee, leaning back in your chair to watch Ellie begin her turn. The girl was taking a painstaking amount of time trying to figure out the correct spelling of her next word, when she grew distracted from noticing Tommy wandering down the street with the newbie by his side. He gave the two of you a wave and sidled up to the bottom step of the porch.

“Kiddos,” he grinned fondly. You huffed lightly at the moniker, considering you were in your thirties yet being grouped in with a teenager. “Y’all met Lincoln yet?”

The man behind Tommy was short and slim, with a shaved head and an easy-going smile that never seemed to leave his face.

“I’m Ellie,” she said, eyes trained on her letters.

You introduced yourself with a polite nod, giving him your undivided attention to make up for Ellie’s lack-there-of.

“Mighty fine to meet you both." His voice was low and hoarse, in a way that sounded like he used to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, and now it surely hurt him to speak.

Tommy butted in quickly. “He came all the way here from Canada, so I thought I’d be hasty with introducing him to some friendly faces.”

“Ooh Canada,” Ellie gave a poor attempt at enthusiasm, and you tried not to laugh at how clearly the girl wanted to end the conversation and play her next word.

Tommy gave her an ungrateful eyeroll, and asked, “Joel in?”

As if by clockwork, the front door of the house opened and the man in question peered out curiously. When he spotted Tommy, he emerged fully, pulling the door closed behind him.

“Speak of the devil and he shall appear,” Tommy grinned, reaching out to grip his brother’s hand quickly. Joel made eye contact with you ever so briefly and offered a small smile, before looking back to his brother.

“Doing a newbie tour?” he queried.

“Y’met Lincoln yet?” Ellie asked, to which he gave a quick nod.

“Please, call me Linc,” the man told them all, his gaze resting on your face for a second longer than the others’. “All my friends do.” You couldn’t tell if you’d imagined it, but you swore you heard a low scoff come from Joel.

“So you came all this way by yourself?” Ellie asked him, finally putting down her letters and giving the group her full attention. Her voice seemed to shine with a sort of curious respect.

Lincoln nodded, his face drooping somewhat. “Been alone for a long time now. My girls, they died a long time ago, in those first few months. By myself ever since.” You noticed Ellie shot a quick wary glance in Joel’s direction, who had turned his face away from the conversation to stare out into his neighbour’s front yard. Weird. “I try not to dwell on things though!” Lincoln said, that cheery smile returning.

You didn't offer up any kind of response, as you mulled over his words. His story wasn't so different from most of the people you knew, but you allowed a short moment of empathy for the stranger. You couldn't imagine the loss that would come from losing a child.

“Well,” Tommy broke the silence. “Let’s continue this tour.”

“I’ll head out with you, I gotta stop by and see Maria,” Joel started down the porch steps, and you tried not to stare at his back as he walked away from the house.

It had been almost two weeks since the night you and Joel had almost kissed, and since then the pair of you had never been alone. It wasn’t purposeful, at least on your part. But you were acutely aware that he would only appear in your presence when he knew there was going to be other people present.

When you thought back on that night, your heart would swell remembering the soft way he spoke to you; the care in his eyes. But it was directly followed by the memory of how you rejected his kiss. Your chest ached with longing at the thought of getting a do over.

The cycle of avoidance ended at last when he noticed you walking the streets by yourself one afternoon.

“Hey there,” he murmured, falling into step beside you. “Where you headed?”

“Just wandering around,” you replied slowly, staring at him in something akin to shock.

“Care for some company?”

“Well, who’d you have in mind?” you teased in an attempt to act casual, ignoring the quick thrum of your heart.

“This grumpy old Texan,” he chuckled. “He doesn’t get out much, but he’s great once you get to know him, I swear.”

You turned your head to grin at him. “Sounds like a riot, I’ll take him.”

The pair of you roamed aimlessly around town for an hour, talking and catching up. Your stomach filled with warmth; you had missed speaking to him. Missed the way your name sounded coming from his mouth.

“Y’know,” Joel began after a batch of silence. You had almost reached your house, and it seemed the walk was coming to a natural end. “I was wondering if you’d come to the house for dinner tonight.”

“Oh,” you said in surprise, stopping and staring at him. He ground to a halt a few steps ahead of you, and turned awkwardly. "You're asking me to dinner?"

"I am."

"Was this Ellie's idea?"

Joel rubbed his hands together in front of him. “No, uh,” he paused thoughtfully, not quite meeting your eye. “The kid's out tonight. It would… it would just be you and I.”

“I see,” you said, trying to read his expression.

“I understand if-“

"You've been avoiding me." His eyebrows twitched into a frown, and he licked the corner of his lip.

"Not on purpose," he said.

"You've been accidentally avoiding me?" you asked, knowing the wrinkle between your eyebrows was no doubt identical to his.

"I thought you wouldn't want to see me," he finally admitted, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I felt like a fuckin' ass the other night. I overstepped-"

"Joel," you tried to interrupt but he shook his head, continuing.

"No, you needed support, and it wasn't the time or place for that shit, I shouldn't have.... I shouldn't have."

Your heart beat wildly as he spoke. Arms wrapping around yourself to protect from the cool wind, you nodded slowly.

"I appreciate that."

The pair of you were silent for a beat, just watching each other. Joel's eyes seemed to roam over your entire face, and then downward. He stared fondly at your frame wrapped up in his old black jacket, and then said, "Let me cook us dinner."

“That sounds lovely. I’ll be there, Joel.”

His eyes lit up softly, and sweet crow’s feet appeared beside them as he smiled at you.

“It’s just dinner,” you mumbled to yourself in frustration, willing your feet to move. Your legs were locked as you stood on the road, staring at Joel’s front door. “It’s dinner, you love dinner.”

Taking a deep breath, you propelled yourself forward and rapped your knuckles sharply against the door. Your skin was hot underneath the layers of clothes you wore.

When it swung open, relief washed over you like cold water, and you were delighted to see Joel standing there. Damp hair slicked back, with a clean bottle green shirt hugging his body. Most times you saw him he'd be dressed in the same old clothes, with dirt and grime smeared across his skin from long days of work. The difference was stark, and it made your throat feel tight. So fucking handsome.

He said your name simply, staring you down.

“Joel,” you imitated his tone, holding back a laugh at the odd greeting. “Hope you remembered inviting me over.”

He rolled his eyes, and you swore you saw a faint flush rise in his cheeks. Clearly, he’d been expecting you; that much could be told by his appearance, and by how clean the house was when you stepped inside.

The cushions on the couch were fluffed and placed neatly, rather than haphazardly like normal. It even looked like he’d dusted the bookshelves.

“Something smells delicious,” you inhaled deeply, turning to see him wringing his hands nervously. He nodded his head towards the kitchen, encouraging you to follow him.

“It’s almost done, just needs some finishing touches.”

“What’s on the menu?”

“Rabbit.”

You enjoyed the smells of roasting meat as he worked in the kitchen. He piled the food onto two plates with careful precision, before picking them up and leading you to the table. With a swell in your chest, you saw that he’d already set two places with cutlery and glassware. Seeing this side of him, this domesticity, was almost unnerving. It was like a trapdoor had been opened, and he’d ushered you inside quickly, exposing a secret, soft, part of his personality. You felt privileged to have it bared to you.

“This looks lovely, Joel, thank you.”

“No need to thank me,” he replied brusquely.

“Well, I will anyway,” you retorted. “This looks better than anything I could ever cook.” You dug in eagerly, and an involuntary moan slipped past your lips as the flavour of the rabbit hit your tastebuds for the first time.

While you ate, you took the time to notice more details of his home. It wasn’t very cluttered, but small sentimental items were placed around. It felt so intimate to be there. You’d been in the house before, but it had always been brief. A pause in the kitchen while Ellie grabbed her bag from the bungalow, or a quick rifle through the pantry for a tea bag before you returned to the porch. Being able to sit, and take it all in, felt so good.

You discussed his patrols, your work at the stables. He asked if you'd made anymore friends, and smiled when you told him Ellie was your favourite person in Jackson. The conversation was light, and non-committal. Where you both avoided chit chat with everyone else in town, it seemed to be all you could do for that first hour in each other’s company.

And amidst it all, the silent tension between you seemed to have spiked again. All your shy, private interactions around Jackson for the past few months. All the smiles, and hushed laughs, and eyerolls. All the times you’d shamefully admired his looks, his strong hands. The almost kiss and the conversation from earlier danced around your mind while he spoke to you. Was tonight the night it all came to a head?

“So,” he said. “How was the rest of your day? After your walk, I mean.”

“Well,” you shrugged. “To be honest, I was just waiting around the house before I could come over here.”

“You could’ve come earlier,” he said.

“And crash your spring-cleaning session?” you scoffed teasingly. “I couldn’t possibly.”

That flush returned to his cheeks, and he took a quick sip from his glass of water. “No shame in keeping a clean house.”

“No shame at all,” you murmured with a smirk, knowing damn well you and Cal’s house looked like a pair of wild animals lived in it. Clothes strewn haphazardly around; dirty mugs littered across the kitchen counter.

You ate in silence for a while after that. The food was incredible. A medley of herbs and spices speckled the tender meat, and he'd glazed parsnips in honey and thyme. They were sweet and sticky and reminded you of something your mom made when you were a kid. You savoured every single bite.

Unable to help it, your eyes fell closed and you hummed happily, sinking back into the chair. Cutlery clinking against a plate made you look up, and you found Joel with an empty plate, watching you with a fond expression.

“What?” you reddened, placing your knife and fork carefully onto your now sparkling clean plate.

“Nothing,” he murmured. “It’s nice to… to see you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like,” Joel seemed to struggle for the words, scratching his beard absentmindedly. “… happy. It’s nice to see you smilin’.” His eyes flicked ever-so-slightly down, and you knew he was looking at the scar on your cheek.

“Oh,” you whispered, mouth slightly ajar with surprise. You went to say something, anything, but he interrupted quickly, chair scraping against the hardwood floors as he stood up.

“Are you finished?” He took your plate before you could answer, and stalked into the kitchen.

As you rose to follow him you flinched at the sound of metal clattering against the ground. Joel was crouched in the kitchen, picking up a knife from the floor. He grunted with the effort, knees cracking sharply as he straightened up.

“I feel like such an old man sometimes,” he grumbled, tossing the cutlery into the sink.

You sidled up beside him and rested your palms against the counter, gazing at the side of his expressionless face.

“Well, how about I wash, and you dry. Sound good old man?” you winked, using his own words against him. He cracked a half smile and looked over to you.

“Yeah, yeah,” he rolled his eyes. “Sounds good.”

You worked in a comfortable quiet, cleaning the dishes and tidying up his kitchen. For a minute, you began to worry that maybe the two of you had finally run out of mindless topics to entertain yourselves with. Your stomach twisted faintly at the thought of the night coming to an end so quickly.

But in the instant that the kitchen was restored to its natural order, Joel squashed down that feeling.

“Stay for a whiskey?” he offered, and you revelled in what you thought was hope in his tone. Your mind flashed back to that night weeks before, when you’d been desperate for him not to leave your home. You could stay a bit longer if you want to.

“How about a wine?” you smiled bashfully.

“Let’s see what I got.”

He disappeared up the stairs and returned a few minutes later holding a dusty bottle of red wine up in the air. You let out a low whistle, nodding in approval. Joel removed the cork with ease, and soon enough you were reclining beside each other on his couch, enjoying the deep fermented berry flavours of the wine. He’d started a small fire in the hearth, and it crackled quietly, offsetting the awkward tension permeating between you. You could feel sweat dampening your palms, but you pushed down the feelings of nervousness, hoping he wasn’t noticing the effect this prolonged alone time with him was having on you.

“I can’t remember the last time I drank good wine,” you sighed wistfully, licking your lips greedily. You heard him clear his throat, and caught him staring at your mouth with dark eyes.

“Been a while for me too,” he admitted, eyes lifting to meet your gaze. “Stick with liquor most of the time. But this… this is definitely nice.”

You hummed happily into your glass.

“You know,” he started. “What you were saying earlier, about just waiting around before coming over here… you could have, you know?”

“Could have what?”

“You could’ve come over,” he cleared his throat. “This place is… you’re always… you’re welcome here.”

“Well, that’s sweet and all, but I wouldn’t want to impose on you or Ellie.”

“Ellie adores you,” he stated firmly.

Your mouth moved without your permission, forming the words too quickly for your brain to register. “And you?”

He frowned slightly, “And me?”

“I’m welcome here because Ellie adores me…” you trailed off, waiting for him to fill in the gap. Half a glass of wine, and it seemed you were more forward than you’d ever been with him. But the game of cat and mouse was getting old, and you figured maybe this was your chance to gain some clarity on the situation.

Dinner and wine between…two friends? What was this?

“I think you…” his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, shifting uncomfortably on the sofa, before turning to face you front on. “I think you’re lovely.”

His big brown eyes shined with earnest, gazing endlessly into your own.

“What does that mean?” you pushed further, grip on your wine glass tightening. You couldn’t read his face. Those eyes seemed to darken, and he took a deep breath.

“It means you’re always welcome here.” He was talking in circles, and he seemed to realise it too, shutting his eyes and grimacing. “I’m no good at this,” he admitted with a humourless chuckle. “What I’m trying to say is that I like it... when you’re around. I like being near you.”

You could tell from how tight he gripped his glass, that it wasn’t an easy admission for him to make. Yet his voice was laced with sincerity.

He continued softly, “I don’t… talk to people, the way I talk to you. I didn’t think it was something I could do anymore. But it feels so… easy, with you. Easy to just be around you. It don’t make sense to me.”

You could see the weight of Joel’s honesty; how it manifested in his hunched shoulders. He was scared to say these things.

“I like being near you too,” you reciprocated, body instinctively shifting toward him. You were perched precariously, with your chest tilted forward, all your weight balancing on your right hand that gripped the sofa cushion in between you. “I was worried I made you think otherwise.”

He didn’t speak for a moment, eyes darting wildly across your face before his gaze settled solidly on your mouth. Intuitively, your tongue darted out to wet your bottom lip. “I like being near you,” he repeated slowly. “And… I gotta say, I’m nervous as hell to try my luck at kissin’ you again.”

Heat flared inside your stomach, and that was all you needed to push forward and press your lips against his.

Joel’s lips always looked chapped, but they were soft, and pushed eagerly against your own. For a moment, that was all it was. Your lips pressed gently against each other's, soft breaths rushing from your nose. He pulled back, and stared at you with a contemplative expression. Smiling shyly, your hand landed on his knee and squeezed it gently.

And then he placed his hand on your cheek, tilting your head ever so slightly to the side, and kissed you again.

You sighed as his tongue swiped along your bottom lip, before eagerly pushing into your mouth. The taste of red wine and parsnips invaded your mouth, and you reached up to place a hand on the side of his neck. His thumb stroked your cheekbone softly, fingers drifting into the hair behind your ear, cradling your face. You could feel his pulse racing under the skin, and gasped wetly into the kiss as his free hand landed on your waist. Devastated to break the moment, you pulled back for a breath of air, scraping your teeth across his bottom lip, and nipping it gently.

Joel grunted, gripping your waist and pulling you across the couch so you were above him, hovering over his lap. While you took deep breaths, he pressed sweet kisses along your cheek, down your chin, and to the skin of your neck. He was insatiable, not taking his mouth off you for a second.

You trailed your hands through his dark hair, smiling at the soft groan that he let out in response to the sensation. You did it once, twice more, wanting to hear the noise again, but suddenly he pulled off from your skin. His chest heaved with heavy breaths, and he ran his fingers lightly along your clothed hips while staring up at you. His eyes were heavy with longing, lips wet from your kisses, and you were certain it was the most attractive he'd ever looked.

“What are we doing here?” Joel asked quietly, licking his lower lip. A laugh sprinkled from your mouth, and he joined in, the sounds mixing beautifully in the air. He was chuckling, but his eyes shone with uncertainty, searching yours for clarity.

“What do you mean, Joel?”

“I mean, what are we doing?” he echoed. It clicked. The last time you'd been this close you had trusted Joel, told him about your past. And here he was, giving you an out. He was saying, you’re the boss, you tell me what happens next. You could feel your pulse thrum between your thighs.

“What you say goes,” he said softly, reaching up to trace his fingers over the scar on your cheekbone.

“I want you,” your voice cracked on the third word, and if your cheeks weren’t already red from the excitement of the kiss, you would’ve blushed at how needy it sounded. But your tone was sure, and Joel nodded once, his grip on your waist tightening slightly.

He pulled you closer so your chests were flush against one another, and you rested your forehead against his. “You have no idea how many times I’ve imagined you saying those words.”

You shook your head at him in mock exasperation, but really, you just didn’t know how to respond to that. So instead of speaking, you kissed him again. You looped your arms lazily around his neck and pushed your tongue into his mouth, stealing the breath from his lungs. He made you feel desperate.

Joel’s hands drifted from your waist down your back, resting carefully just above the waist band of your pants. You reached back and took his hand, pushing it down to rest lower. Quickly, he slid both of his hands into your back pockets, gripping your ass through your pants.

You whimpered into his mouth, and he swallowed the sound greedily. He removed the space between your lower halves, pulling you down so you rubbed against him. The feeling of him, firm beneath the zipper of his jeans, sent a jolt through your system. He ground up against you, breathing heavily against your lips, eyes open and watching your reactions. For a moment you felt a wave of shyness rush through your system. For years, no one had seen this side of you. The vulnerability was intense, and you tucked your face against his neck. Joel gripped your chin and pushed your face back into his line of sight, shaking his head.

“Let me see you,” he breathed. “I don’t wanna miss a single thing.”

Holding eye contact, he dragged his fingers across your belt, and started undoing the leather strap. Your hand stopped over his.

“Not here,” you said. “Upstairs.” He gripped the back of your thighs and stood up from the couch in a swift movement, walking you up the stairs. You peppered kisses along his neck, swiping your tongue along the pulsing artery under his tanned skin.

Once he reached the landing, he used his back to nudge the bedroom door open, and you couldn’t help but pull back to look at your surroundings. You tapped his shoulder absentmindedly, and he lowered you gently to your feet. As if Joel no longer existed, you let youe eyes roam across the room, hungrily taking in all the details of his most private space.

Passing by a walk-in closet, you trailed your fingertips overtop his bedside table, landing on a pair of glasses folded up beside a book. You lifted it carefully.

“An Idiot’s Guide to Space,” you read aloud, turning to him with a raised eyebrow. “I didn’t take you for the type.”

He was leaning against the wall, one hand propped on his hip, with a leg jutted out in front of him. His chest rose and fell quickly as he struggled to catch his breath. Irresistible, but not as irresistible as going through his things.

Sheepishly, he rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. “Ellie loves space,” Joel told you. “Helps if I can understand a little of what she’s talkin’ ‘bout.”

“You really love that kid, huh?”

He didn’t respond, but his eyes were soft, staring at the book when you placed it back down.

A large window covered the wall opposite his bed, with a chest of drawers beneath it. You spotted two picture frames sitting on it and wandered towards them. But before you got too close, Joel’s arms had wrapped around your waist from behind, pulling you into his chest.

His lips tickled your earlobe, his hot breath making goosebumps raise along your neck. “I want you,” he repeated your words from earlier.

You spun in his grip and pushed him into a seated position on the edge of the bed, undoing the buttons on his shirt. With the skin of his torso revealed to you, you gripped the hem of your shirt and pulled it up over your head. Joel’s lips were on your chest, kissing along your collarbones, along the tops of your breasts, as his hands fiddled with your bra strap.

After a few seconds of struggling he sighed in frustration and looked up at you. “It’s been a while since I’ve done this.” You grinned, and undid the strap yourself, throwing the bra somewhere behind you.

A heavy exhale fell from him, and he trailed his fingers over your pebbled nipples. The cold air in the room did you no favours, but Joel seemed exhilarated, pinching one between his fingers, and leaning in to flick his tongue over the other. You squeezed his shoulder and gasped at the feeling of his teeth gently nipping at your bud. As he licked and sucked, his hands drifted down to finish undoing your belt. He tugged and pushed your trousers down your legs, and your underwear went with them. Within a second, you were completely naked in front of him. Joel pulled back and let his dark eyes run over your body.

“I want you on the bed.”

You settled yourself in the middle of it, head tucked into his soft pillows and stared up at him in anticipation.

Under his intense gaze, your skin felt hot. Like whispers of a flame were tickling along your body; heat rising everywhere his eyes roamed. Joel kneeled on the mattress in front of you, and his large hands gripped your knees, pulling them apart. The urge to lean down and cover yourself was strong. But then he reached out and traced his fingers along your torso, from your collarbone, past your belly button, to the dark hair above where you wanted him most.

“My god,” he whispered in what seemed like disbelief. “You’re a dream.”

He pressed teasing kisses down your stomach, along the inside of your thighs, dragging his tongue tantalisingly, making goosebumps ripple out across your flesh. Puffed breaths were whispering along your skin everywhere except where you needed his mouth to be, and you were aching. You clenched around nothing, and let out a pitiful whimper when he finally exhaled over your wet heat.

Suddenly, his tongue licked a solid stripe all the way along your throbbing core, and you cried out. Finally.

“Fuck,” he groaned, inhaling deeply. His tongue was strong, shifting between swiping back and forth across your pulsing clit, and gently prodding into your entrance. Joel pulled one of your thighs up onto his shoulder, and held his palm against the other one, pinning it to the bed. His fingers dug into your skin, and the pressure only added to the sensation of his mouth on you.

“Joel,” you breathed heavily. He moaned into you in response, rubbing small circles over your clit with his tongue.

“Oh fuck,” you whispered, eyes rolling back as you rocked your hips up against his face. “Fuck.” His hand moved from your thigh up to your chest, pinching and playing with your nipples as he fucked you with his mouth. Joel was ravenous and unrelenting, and after living so long without being touched by another person, you felt yourself close to orgasm within minutes.

“Give it to me,” he begged. “Cum for me, baby.”

After a few more seconds of his tongue dragging gloriously over you, you let out a deep moan and shuddered into the sheets, thighs tightening impossibly around his head. Your fingers raked through his hair, holding his face into you as you rode out your high. Somewhere through the pounding in your ears, you could hear Joel moaning with you, and feel the vibrations running through your core. When you finally came down, your thighs relaxed over his shoulders, but he wasn’t done. His tongue flicked lazily over your clit, cleaning you up. He pulled your aching bud between his lips, and gave it a soft suck. The sight of his face pressed into your dark curls made you feel like you were going to cum all over again.

“Joel,” you gasped, grabbing his hair to tug his face away from you. He looked up, slack jawed, with a deep frown across his forehead. His mouth and beard were shining with your slick, and your stomach tightened at what a vision he was.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I need to feel you,” you implored, and the frown disappeared. He leaned in and pressed one final sloppy kiss against your clit, before sitting back on his heels. You sat up hastily, helping him undo his belt, and then watched with heavy eyes as he stood up and removed his final articles of clothing.

His cock slapped up against his stomach, and you couldn’t help the way you hungrily stared at it. It didn’t surprise you that he was big. Something about the way he carried himself; so confident, so sure of himself. He was thick, and long, and your mouth salivated when you noticed precum leaking from the ruddy tip. You watched as he got back onto the bed, trailing his fingers down the length of it before gripping it at the base, and sighing in relief.

You flicked your eyes back up to his, exhilarated to see how intensely he was staring back at you. “I want to taste you,” you breathed, but he shook his head, bicep tensing as he lazily stroked his cock. “Please.”

“Trust me,” he grunted, eyebrows furrowed. “I hate myself for saying no, but you’ve got me so on edge already, darlin’. Had to stop myself from finishin’ with your thighs wrapped around my head.”

Your core throbbed painfully and you pushed forward, kissing him firmly. The taste of your own cum on your tongue made you moan softly; licking the tang off his lips, and swallowing it down.

You pulled away and slowly lowered down until your head hit the pillows. Joel stared down at you with parted lips and shook his head slowly.

“What?”

“Nothin',” he murmured, still shaking his head. “So beautiful.”

Your cheeks flushed, and you turned your face into the pillows. He hovered over you and pressed wet kisses along your exposed neck, his teeth nipping harshly at the juncture where it met your shoulder. You hissed at the pain, but sighed softly in forgiveness when he lapped his tongue soothingly over the spot. You watched Joel pull a condom from his bedside table, leaning back to rip open the packet, and slide the latex down onto himself.

With his cock in his fist, he pushed his tip between your folds, and you exhaled in unison at the feeling. After dragging his head along you a few times, he finally nudged his tip against your entrance. Your head was pressed back into the pillows, eyes shut and mouth wet from his kisses. You were blissed out already, but fluttered your eyes open slowly at the feeling of his fingers running over your left eyebrow.

“You with me?” he murmured, the soft look in his eyes almost too much for you to handle.

You hummed, turning your head slightly to press a kiss against his palm.

“Gotta relax for me,” he urged softly, tracing his fingers down gently over your collarbones, wanting to feel every bit skin that had been revealed to him.

You eased your tense muscles as much as you could, taking a deep breath before letting it rush out of you slowly. And with your exhale, he slipped inside you with one smooth motion. You gasped at the feeling, mouth hanging open in an 'O' shape at the sharp sting.

“Hey, hey,” he murmured, pressing soft kisses to your eyelids. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise,” you groaned, relaxing your furrowed eyebrows. “It’s just been so long.”

The pain was already shifting into a faint, dull ache, melding beautifully with the pleasure of being so full. He readjusted his legs, and the movement caused his tip to prod gently into the deepest part of you, and you cried out.

“Fuck,” he gasped, moving to pull back, but you gripped his shoulders tightly to keep him in place.

“Feels good,” you gasped, licking her lips. “You’re so big, filling me up so well.” He swallowed back a pitiful moan.

Joel was thick and heavy inside you, and he knew better than to move too quickly. He let you adjust to him for a few more moments, enjoying watching the way your nose scrunched up and your chest heaved with harsh breaths. You were wet and hot around him, and he felt like a teenager losing his virginity again after his few years of celibacy. But he was determined to give you his all.

“God, please move,” you finally groaned, reaching up to play with your nipples out of desperation.

Without any more encouragement, he pulled back slowly, until just the tip remained inside, before pushing himself forward into your heat. You moaned in unison, your hands travelling down to his biceps. He started a steady rhythm, his eyes floating down to stare hungrily at the way your chest bounced with the force of his movements. Joel leant down and sucked one of your nipples into his mouth, circling it with his tongue and groaning as you pulsed around him. Your fingers pulled his hair painfully tight, and the feeling made the muscles in his stomach tingle.

He was so deep inside, and yet you ground your hips up towards him, wanting to feel him even further. It had his hips stuttering against yours, and he let out a low vibrating groan. Joel’s hands gripped against your hip bones and pressed you down into the bed, seemingly holding you away from him.

“Baby,” he ground out, and it was more of a warning than anything else.

“You can’t do that,” he panted. “I’m not gonna last if you keep doin’ that.”

You smirked lazily up at him and pushed your hips up against his weight again, meeting him stroke for stroke. There was no pain anymore, just a heavenly feeling of fullness, and you were desperate for him to let lose. “Maybe I don’t want you to last.”

“God, woman,” he scowled. “You’ll be the death of me, I know it.”

He pulled out and then thrust back into you with enough force to knock the breath out of you, and you bit your lip to hold in the high-pitched moan trying to escape.

“Let me hear you,” he ordered. “I want to hear you cum for me again, just give me one more, and then I’m yours.”

You let go of your bottom lip, letting whines and sighs fall easily from your mouth. The fire in Joel’s chest roared, loving the way you allowed the tables to turn, and obeyed him so quickly. It was so out of your character to be submissive to anyone. The thought that he had as much of an effect on you as you had on him made his cock throb painfully.

The feeling was so overwhelming you could barely keep your eyes open. He was fast, and strong, but you weren’t afraid, you were activated. Your abdomen was tight with the pleasure, and he pounded into you relentlessly. Suddenly, his cock was pressing into that spot again, and you let out an urgent exhale of his name.

“There?” he growled, angling his hips to hit it again, and again, and again. You moaned desperately, spreading your thighs wider to give him more access.

You’d forgotten every word except for Joel’s name, and you said it over and over. He had reconnected you to something so deep, so animalistic inside of you. Desire was something that hadn’t properly crossed your mind in years, only for brief moments when you rubbed one out quickly in rare moments alone. Not for a long time had you felt wanted – nor had you wanted someone the way you did with him.

Without warning, his fingers met your clit and began rubbing messy circles on it while he snapped his hips. It was all too much, and you cried out harshly as the tightening in your abdomen grew.

Your mouth was on his neck, and all you could taste was Joel’s salty skin when you finally came. Your body wracked with convulsions, the muscles in your stomach spasming intensely as he fucked you through your high.

His thrusts grew sloppy, and his face looked pained, sweat rolling down his biceps. He shifted so his elbows were in the pillows beside your head, and his forehead knocked against yours with every shift of his hips. One of his hands tangled in the hair at the back of your head, holding you in position while he pressed a sloppy kiss to your open mouth. Your orgasm was prolonged as he pounded against the spongy spot inside of you, and you were twitching, close to becoming over sensitive.

“God,” he moaned into your mouth. “You’re squeezing me so tight.”

You mewled weakly at his words, purposefully clenching around him in response.

It didn’t take long for Joel to follow you off the edge, mouth ajar as deep groans spilled from his lips. His face dropped into your shoulder, and you sighed at the feeling of him spilling inside you. He said your name softly, delicately, into your ear, his voice more gravelly than normal from exertion. For a moment, with sticky skin pressed together, and eyes closed in exhaustion, your heavy breaths were the only audible thing in the room.

Slowly, you cracked your eyes open to look around, and admired the way the moonlight shone through the window and hit his bare back. You trailed your fingers down his spine, enjoying the way goosebumps rippled across his flesh and he shivered.

“You ticklin’ me?”

You laughed into his hair. “Just enjoying all this skin.”

He hummed thoughtfully, lifting an arm to trail his hand along your side in reciprocation. “I’m enjoyin’ it too.”

He pushed up onto his elbows and slowly pulled himself out of you. Your breath hitched at the sensation, the pain from earlier returning ever so slightly now that the heat of the moment had dissipated.

“You good?” he asked softly, falling back onto his heels.

“I’m great,” you smiled, watching him pull the condom off carefully and duck into the bathroom to dispose of it.

He padded softly back into the room a few moments later with a cloth in his hands, and used it to gently wipe down your skin. You flinched at the feeling of the warm cloth between your thighs, and he apologised in a hushed tone, working quickly.

“Thank you,” you whispered, staring at him fondly. In that quiet moment, you took the opportunity to admire him properly. His body was thick and strong, all muscles underneath scarred, tanned skin. He had large strong thighs and biceps, but his stomach was soft, and you liked that.

“What’re you lookin’ at stud?” he raised an eyebrow and you smirked cheekily.

“Admiring you is all.”

He shook his head, disappearing off to the bathroom again. You tugged the covers up over yourself and laid there alone for a moment, head clear of thoughts, and sleep so close on the horizon.

“You’re staying?” you heard him, and looked over to see him standing in the doorway.

Your eyebrow jutted up questioningly. “Joel Miller, if you think I’m walking home after all that, you’re out of your goddamn mind.”

He let out a quick laugh, and pushed himself under the covers beside you. His hand slid from your thigh up your body before resting gently over your ribcage, thumb stroking along the underside of your breast.

“Good,” he mumbled into his pillow. “Don’t want you to go.”

You woke with a sharp inhale, eyes flicking around the room slowly. Still in the chokehold of a deep sleep, you yawned into your elbow and sat up slowly. The night before came rushing back to you, and you turned to see Joel sleeping soundly beside you. He slept on his front, with one arm tucked underneath his head, and face squished up into the pillow. Lips puffed out, deep breaths inhaling and exhaling through them. You stared at him for a few moments, admiring how peaceful he looked in his slumber.

He let out a sudden harsh breath, and an incoherent murmur escaped his mouth.

“What are you dreaming about?” you whispered. Reaching out, you let your fingertips whisper along the skin of his back, down his spine as far as you were allowed, to where the blanket covered him. You traced a line over a particularly bad scar on his back, and cringed to picture how he’d gotten it.

“Was dreamin’ bout you,” he said suddenly. “Until you woke me up.”

You gasped, sitting up straighter.

“Christ, I thought you were asleep.”

Joel smiled, eyes still closed.

“And what was I doing in this dream of yours, Miller?”

His tongue slipped out to wet his lips, before settling back into a lazy grin. Slowly, Joel’s bleary eyes opened to look up at you. “Was a continuous replay of last night. I wish you hadn’t woken me up, actually. Was quite enjoyin’ myself.” His voice was husky from sleep, and it sent a jolt of heat through your stomach.

“Oh, is that so?” you jokingly huffed, pushing the blankets off your body. “In that case, I’ll get out of your hair and let you sleep.” But before you could get off the mattress, his arms snaked around you, slamming you back into his chest.

“Not so fast, soldier,” Joel mumbled sleepily, pressing gentle kisses onto the skin behind your ear and tugging the duvet up over your heads.

The stairs creaked loudly as you walked down them, an hour later. Your clothes felt stale on your body; stiff after being discarded on the cool hardwood floors overnight. Your skin was cold, begging you to climb back into the bed where Joel still laid naked, tucked up under the covers.

You were halfway to the front door when Ellie’s voice stopped you in your tracks.

“Fucking finally.”

You turned quickly, trying hard to display an expression of stoic nonchalance. She was splayed across the couch with her legs kicked up onto the arm rest, grinning over a copy of Savage Starlight.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, kid.”

“Sure, sure,” she chuckled, lifting the comic up to hide her face behind it. “I may be a kid, but I know what it means to sneak out of someone’s house at 8 in the morn-“

“I’m not sneaking out,” you interrupted coolly, your face flaming at the insinuation. Ellie lowered the comic just enough for her eyes to be visible, and raised one eyebrow at you.

“I see.”

“Shut up,” is all you could get out, and threw yourself out the front door, Ellie’s loud laughter following you onto the street.

It was a particularly chilly morning, and you gripped your black jacket around yourself tightly. You’d promised Maria the day before to stop by for a tea, and although you longed to be at home for a moment before work, you headed quickly to Tommy and Maria’s.

Knocking once on the front door, you let yourself in, calling out a quick “hello!” so as not to alarm anyone.

“In the kitchen!” Maria’s voice shouted back, and you rubbed your red hands together for warmth, traipsing through the house. When you reached the kitchen, you were surprised to see Maria wasn’t alone. A young woman sat at the dining table, gripping a steaming mug and staring at the table. Her face was red and blotchy. You lingered awkwardly in the doorway, glancing at Maria for direction.

“It’s okay, have you met Rose?” Maria ushered you in.

“No,” you replied slowly.

“You work at the stables,” Rose perked up suddenly, her stare firmly stuck on you.

“Yes,” you replied dumbly. Your mind was blank as you stared at the stranger, wondering who she was and how she knew anything about you.

“Have you seen Milena?” you asked desperately.

Your hackles lowered slowly, and you glanced at Maria curiously before shaking your head no. Milena worked at the stables with you. She was one of the women who taught you the ropes, and helped you get familiar with grooming the horses.

The tension in the room was thick, and you looked away quickly when Rose sniffled, and reached up to wipe a tear from her eye. I shouldn’t be here.

“She’s m-missing,” Rose stuttered out wetly. Maria walked up behind her and placed a hand on the woman’s shoulder, squeezing gently.

“Rose found a note that Milena left for her,” Maria explained softly. “She’s been gone for a day now.”

“She didn’t write that note,” Rose raised her voice. Your heart raced in your chest. You stared at Maria’s face, and tried to gage how you should be reacting to the information. Sweat slicked your palms when you noticed the warily anxious expression the woman wore. “I swear she didn’t, she wouldn’t write that shit. She wouldn’t leave me here alone. Not after,” she paused as a sob wracked through her body. “Not after everything we went through to g-get here.”

“She left Jackson?” you asked. “Did she say where she was going?” Milena hadn’t mentioned anything around the stables about planning to leave the settlement. And Milena was chatty. You had often shied away from her when you shared a shift, because of how much Milena tried to pry into your personal life.

Rose didn’t respond, dropping her face into her hands, shoulders wracking with sobs. The display of emotion set you on edge. You felt like an intruder on such an intense moment for Rose and took a step backward into the doorway.

“I’m going to go,” you murmured when Maria made eye contact with you. She nodded in understanding, leaning down to whisper in Rose’s ear. You spun on your heel and walked quickly toward the front door.

“Please believe me, Maria,” you could hear Rose saying. “To just leave without saying goodbye? Milena would never do that.”

You let the door fall shut behind you.

part four | series masterlist

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #tlou #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #my writing #under the night

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phxntomsdusk · 4 months

Note

you should write something about studentbur.. if ur comfy.. hes really underrated imo.. im currently hyperfixated on him

Science fair - Studentbur x GN!reader

summary: being paired up with the “weird” kid for the science fair ends up taking an unexpected turn

(anon, i love this!! since i’m a student myself this is definitely one of the easiest things for me to write !! if you want you can become a regular anon and share your studentbur thoughts, i’ll gladly answer each and every one <3)

warnings: kids are mean abt will

tags: @ax-y10 , @joviepog (ask to be added!)

word count: 1120

Science fair was one of the most dreadful things to have to do. Your teacher had picked partners for everyone, but allowed creative liberty for what you wanted to do. And the person you got paired with? William Gold.

He didn’t talk much in your class, unless it was one of his friends, but even then they barely say near him. He was known as the “weird” kid. From what everyone said he smelled, he was annoying, and had the worst sense of humor.

You didn’t know him personally so you couldn’t judge him just yet, you’d have to save it for when you finally got to work with him.

You approached him during lunch, sitting across from him and clearly surprising him. He didn’t say anything to you and simply continued to eat.

“Hey, I’m your partner for the science fair. I’m Y/N.” You stuck a hand out as a greeting, watching him timidly put his sandwich down and grab your hand back. “I’m William.. Well, Will or Wilbur. Call me whatever.” He shrugged at his own words, before letting go of your hand and continuing to eat.

It was obvious he wasn’t used to people talking to him, but you had to bear with it for now.

“I was thinking that for the science fair we could do something simple? And we could meet up at the park to work on it, if that’s okay with you.” You made sure to keep your gaze on him as you spoke, a welcoming smile on your lips as you watched him carefully. “Yeah, sure. Simple as in what soil helps plants grow? Or if maybe colors affect a dog’s enjoyment with a toy? We could do an actual experiment in my mum’s garden or with my dog.”

You could only smile as he slowly came out of his shell, you now knew his mum had a garden you guys could use, and a dog! “Those are perfect! I think the dog one would be easiest to do. I could use my allowance to buy some different colored toys from the shop and then we can see which ones your dog likes more.”

He quickly nodded at your suggestion, before shuffling through his bag and grabbing a paper and pen, scribbling down his number and address. “So, instead of the park we can do everything at my house. For the poster board what do we do? Dog house theme? We could cut up some construction paper and make it all pretty.”

Over the course of your conversation he only became more smiley and talked about his interests. You could put he enjoyed gaming, wanted to get into music, and even had a vinyl collection he wanted to show you when you were to go over.

You of course had to talk to your parents about it, which they gladly allowed you to go over that weekend.

You made sure to text the number he had given you, which ended up thankfully being his and not a house phone.

The two of you only made further plans throughout the day, more ideas being thrown back and forth for what types of toys you should do, what the poster board should look like, and what to call the experiment.

You both decided to not come up with a fancy title or pun for the experiment, simply calling it the question you wanted to answer. The poster board was going to look like a dog house, and he agreed that you were going to make it, while he did the main experiments.

The weekend came around faster than expected, but it was 100% worth it. You made sure to buy at least 8 cheap toys of rainbow colors, including white and black. They were all squeaky rubber toys.

When you finally showed up it was more peaceful than expected, and he was waiting patiently on the porch for you, bouncing a tennis ball against the ground.

Before you guys did anything he introduced you to his mum and his dog, offering you a drink and snack, and finally took you to his room to show off his vinyls.

While he rambled on about his love for bands, you couldn’t help but think about all the things kids would say about him. He was almost polar opposite to what they described, he wasn’t weird, it seemed like he just didn’t have anyone who listened to all of his interests.

You probably spent way too long in his room before the actual experiment, which was much more fun than either of you expected.

His dog adored you, mostly ignoring the toys and giving l the attention to you. Will was smiling like an absolute idiot the entire time, and laughing like a maniac. He kept having to pull the pup off of you, squeaky toys so many times until it felt like your ears would bleed.

“God, you shouldn’t have stayed. We can’t do anything, he likes you too much!” His voice thankfully dripped with sarcasm, before he helped you to your feet after his dog practically tackled you to the ground.

“Oh, shut up. We may just have to do this another day.” You sighed and wiped your pants free of any dirt that got on you. “Alright, alright. I’ll put the toys somewhere in my room. Wanna listen to more of my vinyls until your parents come to get you? We have, like, an hour.” He smiled as he spoke, making his way back inside the house and up to his room.

You quickly followed after him, shooting him a thumbs up as you found yourself sitting on his bed. He shuffled through his collection, before pulling out an Arctic Monkeys vinyl and displayed it to you.

“Please say you’re a fan. I don’t think we can be friends if you aren’t.” He pouted dramatically as he placed it on the player, allowing it to spin almost as soon as he put it on. “I am a fan. You played them for me the second I entered the front door.”

He laughed lightly at your words, shrugging before he flopped down onto the bed right next to you. “Think we’ll get a good grade?” He looked at you with raised brows, lifting a hand up in the shape of a fist.

You made a fist and bumped it with his, smiling and nodding. “Yeah, I think so. It’s definitely not the most impressive, but it’s unique.” You laid back next to him, enjoying the music and the moment as you stared up at the ceiling.

Maybe getting paired with the “weird” kid would end up being a good thing.

A really good thing.

#phxntomsdusk #phxntoms fics #wilbur soot #wilbur soot x you #wilbur soot x y/n #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot fluff #studentbur #student!wilbur

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a11eya · 9 months

Text

jess 💖 30 💖 she/her, they/them

hi friends! if you’re reading this, it means you’ve managed to stumble upon my little writing tumblr, so welcome!

please bear with me, as i desperately need to update this pinned post and make a proper masterlist... in the meantime, i hope you enjoy my silliness ✨ feel free to chat with me!! ✨💞

blog info

multi-fandom

minors dni, 18+ blog

interactions will be made using my main, a11eya-chats

i don't do any tags/tag lists 🥺 see this ask for why

please do not repost or translate my work, and please do not feed it into AI

frequently used tags

____ spoilers ➝ fandom tag + spoilers (ex - bnha spoilers) - like the label, i'll tag any spoilers

cw ____ ➝ content warning (ex - cw violence) - i'll do my best to tag potentially triggering content!

jess scribbles ➝ my general writing tag

jess replies ➝ answers to asks

jess reblogs ➝ posts i reblog

jess talks ➝ sometimes i’ll give fic updates or just talk in general about writing or characters! 😊

lights will guide you home (bakugou katsuki x reader)

Soul-lights aren’t as common in this day and age as they were in the past, before quirks, but they’re common enough that people do still find their soulmates.

At thirteen, you meet Bakugou Katsuki, and he lights up for you in orange and gold. You tell him he's your soulmate. He sneers and tells you that you aren't his. He makes your adolescence miserable until you part ways.

You meet again as adults, late at night, in a grocery store, over a pile of bok choy. He apologizes for how he treated you when you were children.

(In which you have a choice—to reject Bakugou's apology, reject him, or to let him show you the man he's become, to learn with him what it means to love and forgive.)

Series Masterlist 1/27/2024 Update: Chapter Ten

oneshots/twoshots

do you still think about me? (bakugou katsuki x reader)

unfiltered (bakugou katsuki x reader)

in one kiss, you'll know all i haven't said (kirishima eijirou x reader)

snippet scribbles

katsuki's grumpy and possessive at the beach (bakugou katsuki x reader)

izuku's our soulmate, and it hurts (midoriya izuku x reader)

katsuki's so into you (bakugou katsuki x reader)

a dragon's treasure (bakugou katsuki x reader)

kiri doesn't get jealous (kirishima eijirou x reader)

kiri always thinks you're beautiful (kirishima eijirou x reader)

kiri untitled wip 1 2 (kirishima eijirou x reader)

fanfic trope mashup game

#updated 4-29-2024 #about me #navigation #masterlist

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teenyweenyeenymeeny · 4 months

Note

any more little scott hcs?

Yes yes hmmm… miscellaneous ones hehe…

• easiest way to tell how old he is feeling are his energy level and how much he’s stimming… in his Normal age range [about 4-8] he is a tiny ball of energy he can’t sit still at All and when he is feeling Especially teeny it is the opposite he barely moves just curls up in a little ball or clings onto someone and Freezes… when he’s a grown up he’s kind of in the middle 🤍

• ^ when he is little he stims in more ways than when he is grown up too… grown up Scott flaps his hands if he’s excited and I Think I will give him the excited stomping and the toe and finger wiggling… little Scott does all of this But sometimes he runs around in a little circle if he’s excited too… and perhaps rolls around on the floor… he Does have other stims too I think but these are the main Specific Consistent ones I can think of

• when Scotty draws or colours pictures he sticks his tongue out… the first time Kim sees him do it she laughs because she remembers him doing that when they really were kids

• ^ speaking of colouring pictures Scotty doesn’t really Believe in the lines hehe… or even the picture he is Supposed to be colouring in 🤍 he is the type of kid to draw big monster battle on top of the lines for like. Peaceful day in the forest :) or something… hehe

• ^ and if he Is just colouring not really adding his own pictures it is way more fun to scribble !!!! Boring to colour in the lines…

• this is something I think I talked about with Sunny [I don’t know if you would want to be tagged hehe… and if so with which blog……] but when Scott plays games like Pokémon he is the type of kid to get bored with the levelling up process and run directly to the next gym hehe… and then when all his Pokémon are so under levelled and he gets his butt kicked he whines and whines… when he is grown up he understands the issue and has more patience to do levelling up but Pokémon is more for when he Isn’t grown up…

• ^ he has to beg for help hehe… he goes Wallace… Wallace sniffle help……. And Wallace goes I don’t know what to tell you buddy you could try levelling up… and Scott just whines More hehe…

• ^ sometimes Scott makes Wallace go with him to visit Neil so he can ask him to help… Neil is the expert……

• ^ this doesn’t Always work out though so sometimes Wallace will try to play for Scott and Scott will stare over his shoulder and do backseat gaming I think hdjsjs and Wallace will get annoyed and say you’re welcome to play your own game if you know best little guy and then Scott will whine about That Too

• ^ if Wallace doesn’t Want to play Scott’s game he will give him a task like ohh could you find whichever Pokémon for me I want you to catch this specific one… and this tricks Scott into doing the levelling up heehe

• ^ oh yes and if Wallace Isn’t there and Scott is home alone he will just. Give up 🤍 he will get annoyed and just start doing something else and forget about the game Immediately…

• I think I have said before that little Scott is Clumsy but I think it was in reference to him always needing a sippy cup… spilling drinks is not the only way he is clumsy !! Another way is. He messes up a Lot if he tries to play his bass

• ^ like he doesn’t Actually know how to play it Ever but he can get by with playing by ear and muscle memory when he’s a grown up… if he regresses during band practice though he forgets what he has taught himself

• ^ sometimes he just starts playing with his bass too trying to make funny or really loud sounds… even if he is supposed to be rehearsing hehe

• ^ I think that MOST of the time Stephen n Kim just laugh it off if this happens and either encourage him to entertain himself or play With him to try and make funny sounds

• ^ maybe once or twice though when they had a show coming up and tensions were already high they got annoyed a little though… snapped at him maybe to at least try to take the band seriously

• ^ that didn’t Help though obviously it just made him feel even Younger and upset :( and he just started crying </3 so Then sex bobomb had to Really end practice because Now they had to comfort the baby… ooooopsie… it would work out though I know it 🤍 and everything would be okay

• when Scott is little he talks really fast and stumbles over words a lot… and I think he is the type of kid to forget to breathe between sentences so he will end up having to cut himself off mid-word to take a big breath hehe

• he can only focus on things if he’s being supervised… it’s weird and he doesn’t really get why he’s like that but if he’s home alone his attention span bounces all over the place but if Wallace is there he can stick to one task for Hours… especially if he gets Contact like sitting in Wallace’s lap while watching TV that sort of thing…

ummmmm all for now ☆

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lunaredgrave · 4 months

Text

Legacy of Cressidia - Part 1: A Day of Normalcy

Hi! I was reading too many fanfics here and got insanely inspired. Decided to post one that I wrote. I felt like regular Tav didn't have enough background as The Dark Urge did. Also, the companions and your love interest never trying to get to know you always bothered me. So, I came up with a huge background story. And most lore related things are actually taken from my own tabletop game that I DM. This time, your companions will help you out with your problems for once.

This is based on my Half-Elf, Noble Bard Tav, Sylene Cressidia. But I wrote it from the readers' perspective, so you can get immersed!

_________________________________

Summary: It's been 9 years after the main events of Baldur's Gate. Finding a cure for Astarion became your mission after defeating the Netherbrain. You have been through a lot of adventures together. While trying to help your lover with his issues, your own past kept lingering in your mind. You never told anyone about the fact that you were the only heir to House Cressidia. Even if you closed that book many years ago, the injustice that was done to you and your parents weighed heavily on your heart. But everything changes when a shadow from your past crosses its path with yours.

Themes: Fluff, angst, romance, adventure, mentions of abuse, trauma and loss

Let me know if you want to be tagged!

__________________________________

The flickering candle light casted shadows on the curled maps and notebooks as you kept taking notes. The murmurs of the people and the slight melody coming from the lute kept filling the Tavern, giving you and Astarion a little hint of normalcy.

Nearly a year on the road had been tiring, but definitely no less exciting. Finding a cure for Astarion eventually became something secondary, compared to traveling the world and discovering new things all around you.

You did, of course, always find your way back to Baldur's Gate whenever you could, even buying a small house just for the two of you. It was a symbol. A reminder that you belonged somewhere even if you were far away.

You finished scribbling on the map and closed your journal.

“There. Next stop, those ancient Kelemvorian ruins.” you said, smiling.

“You didn't eat anything.” said Astarion while tapping on his wine chalice.

You chuckled, glancing at your lover, “Since when do you care about my hunger?”

Astarion smiled back sarcastically, “Well, you won't be much of a help for the both of us, if you faint in the middle of the road, darling. And don't trust me to carry you all the way back here to eat.”

You shook your head laughing. “Damn. I thought you cared about me.” Then you rested your head on your hand and started tapping the feather of your quill on the map absentmindedly.

The past few months left an inexplicable unease within you. You felt like you were being watched, as if shadows of an unseen presence whispered in your head. But no one was there.

Perhaps it was time for you to take a break again. But on the other hand, you didn't really want to go back just yet. However, your worries crept around like a parasite.

“Little darling, little darling, little darling…” Your mind played a song, “All this fighting and snarling, will you ever stop worrying? Little darling, little-”

“Darling?” called Astarion, snapping his fingers in front of your eyes to get your attention.

You flinched and looked at him dumbfoundedly.

“Oh, sorry! Did you need something?”

Astarion rolled his eyes, “Yes. For you to go and order something before I feed you with a shovel.”

You laughed, "Well, that would be hilarious.”

You eventually took his advice and ate something before the bar was inevitably closed. Your whole circadian rhythm was completely destroyed, thanks to living with a vampire for so long. You would sleep through the day and wake up in the evening, so you had to feed yourself whenever you could.

As dawn slowly arrived, both of you got ready to go to bed. While Astarion was getting ready for his meditation, you were taking notes on your small notebook and slightly humming a tune.

Aside from being able to destroy Netherbrains, you had another great ability: poetry and music. A bard's greatest assets, one might say. You liked to spend a few hours writing and composing poems or songs in your notebook before you two went to bed.

Despite Astarion acting like he didn't care, he secretly enjoyed your little hums and tunes that you would weave into the air. Because when he didn't hear those little hums, it meant either you were hurt, sick, or sad. As much as he loved you, his self-doubt and uncertainty still lingered in his mind.

He was still so very afraid. Gods, was he afraid. He was afraid of losing all of this happiness. What if all of this ended? What if he wasn't good enough? What if this was all a dream and he would wake up trapped under the crypt?

Those little hums of music was the thing that he hopelessly clung to, making him believe this was all real.

You kept humming:

Empress of the flames,

With the fire dragon's heart she reigns,

When the fallen angel’s screams echoed,

It was she, who freed heavens chains

Suddenly, Astarion’s voice broke the tune, as he slightly lifted his head and looked at you.

“Mm. That's a new one I haven't heard of.”

You quickly closed your notebook.

“You didn't go deep in your meditation, yet?”

Astarion scoffed, “How could I? You're constantly making noise, my love.”

You blushed as you gently set your notebook aside, “I'm sorry. I'll let you rest now.”

Astarion smirked, “I’m just teasing you." He gave you a gentle smile and gave your hand a little squeeze, but suddenly raised his brow, "But that is really a new one I haven’t heard of.”

You sighed and opened your notebook, showing him all the poems and stories you crossed out.

“I’m trying to write something. A story or a ballad... I haven't decided. It's about a… Sorcerer. She is kind of my hero. But I can never find the right words.”

“Is she a real person, or one of your tragic characters again?” Astarion asked.

“She is… She was real. Once.”

A hint of sadness washed over you.

You never told much about yourself to your lover or friends. You were always an enigma to them. Since you didn't share, they never asked. Since they never asked, you closed the box that is your past and threw away the key.

On the outside, you were a confident bard with a witty tongue. Always ready with a song or words for entertainment. On the inside, you never thought you were worthy of being cared about. You felt like people only loved the mask you wore: The Witty and Kind Hearted Bard.

There was an inescapable thought that they would never love the past you had or the person behind your mask. That was one of the reasons you felt closer to Astarion than anybody else. You felt like he wasn't so different from you either. But you dreaded to word it out loud to him. You didn't want to burden him with your pain. You felt guilty for even thinking it because you thought he suffered enough already.

Well, it could've been worse, you'd think to yourself jokingly to get yourself out of that spiral. I could've been a Bhaalspawn or something.

“I feel like there is something you aren't telling me.” Astarion said because of your sudden silence.

“Nevermind. You know how much I lose myself in my stories.” You lied. Your smile was forced.

Just as Astarion was about to say something, you caressed his cheek gently, “Anyway. It's almost dawning. I need to sleep. Goodnight, love.” You kissed him on the side of his forehead and put your cheek on his head lovingly before you turned your back and went to sleep.

#baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #fanfic #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion x you #astarion x mc

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the-paper-monkey · 10 days

Note

I would just like to have you know that the TTC series have completely pulled me into rarepair shipdom hell. For the last few weeks I have absolutely ravaged the Taco tags on pretty much every reading platform omg I am going insane.

Btw, are you planning on other Taco projects? If yes, can you *briefly* tell me what the plot is? Pretty pleaseeee I am dying of hunger. But its okay if you dont want to share/dont have any plans too.

Lots of love 🫶

Welcome to Taco hell 😌

I'm not really working on anything new for Taco atm, more just my current WIPs!

I do have some scribbles in my ask game tag though :)

Other than that... I recommend you figure out how to make a Lofter account so that you can peruse the dracomort/tomdraco tag. If you have WeChat or Weibo, you can login through those. This is the main tag:

伏德

Reminder: do not repost artwork without permission from the artist.

#asks #anon #tomdraco

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goddessofroyalty · 12 days

Text

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII

Verse: Cloud is the Remnant’s carrier

Opened the scribble book to write another thing and found this in there that I kept meaning to type up and forgetting to. It’s also been long enough where I feel like this isn’t in the spoilers territory (which it still kind of isn’t because of how the game actually ended vs this being if Zack’s universe did get merged with the main one)

Tags: mpreg, omegaverse, implications of science fuckery

----------------

It’s weird returning to Elymira’s house after everything.

Aerith and Cloud aren’t upstairs comatose in their recovery from what happened to them. Instead they are right there in the living room – Aerith leaning on Cloud to whisper something in his ear that makes his eyes go wide and glance up at the stairs and back at Zack.

She seems to know what happened in the alternative timelines before they collapsed in on each other so Zack figures she is just telling Cloud about how Zack looked after them both. He pays it no mind how she puts her finger in front of her mouth in clear indication for Cloud not to say anything before grabbing hold of Tifa’s arm and leading her upstairs. She probably wants to show Tifa something in her room. Five years ago Zack wouldn’t have assumed the two of them would be friends but they seem to almost share thoughts at times with how close they are.

It’s nice to know Aerith isn’t as alone anymore.

“Thank you again for looking after my Marlene,” Barret says to Elmyra, drawing Zack back into the conversation as Cloud leans against one of the walls.

“It’s no bother,” Elmyra says. “She’s a sweet girl. A pleasure to look after. Unlike some other children.”

She looks over at Cloud at the comment and Spike just shrugs his shoulders not even meeting her gaze. Zack feels, far from the first time, like he’s missing out on something important.

“Well what do you expect with where they came from?” Barret jokes. “Ain’t no way they weren’t gonna’ be handfuls.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Elmyra says with the same awkward humor and Zack is about to ask what it is they are talking about when footsteps rush down the stairs.

“Daddy!” Marlene calls, throwing herself into Barret’s arms and the tough guide façade of his immediately melts as he wraps his daughter into a tight hug.

“Oh my baby girl I’ve missed you so much,” Barret practically sobs. And it’s sweet to see just how much he cares about his daughter.

The two eventually separates and Marlene goes over to where Cloud is. Waiting for him to kneel down to her height so she can talk to him at mostly the same leave.

“I made sure they were safe,” she says.” Nobody came after them.”

A flicker of surprise crosses Cloud’s face before it settles on a serious one.

“Thank you.”

Marlene nods at it before returning to her dad. She clings onto his leg before finally noticing Zack.

“Who are you?”

“What do you mean who am I?” Zack asks before remembering this isn’t the Marlene he lived with while waiting for Aerith and Cloud to wake up.

He kneels down in front of her because while she may not be the Marlene he remembers she clearly also likes when people talk to her at her level instead of down at her.

“I’m Zack Fair,” he says holding out his hand. “And, well, I don’t know if you will understand but I come from a world where things happened differently.”

“And you knew me?” Marlene asks, curious but firm.

“Sure did! I was kind of like you’re… uncle Zack.” Or close enough to it. And he kind of likes the idea of being called that.

“Uncle huh?” Cloud says and Zack’s a bit surprise he has any comment on it. “Want to meet your nephews then?”

“My nephews?” Zack doesn’t remember there being any other kids staying with Elmyra and even with all the timeline confusion he’s pretty sure he would.

Aerith and Tifa returning downstairs clarifies some of his confusion. Aerith carrying one crying silver-haired baby and Tifa two, more settled, ones.

“Wha-?”

“They’re mine,” Cloud says as he takes the baby off Aerith so she can relieve Tifa of one of the other two. His tone short in the way he talks when he doesn’t want more questions asked. “Hojo.”

“I-“ Zack doesn’t know if Hojo is a better explanation than the one he had immediately thought of when told that Cloud had three silver-haired babies. “Shit Spike.”

“No swearing around the kids!” Barret snaps like this situation doesn’t deserve much stronger curses than shit.

If Zack could he would revive even piece of shit scientist just to kill them himself. Hell, he might see if Aerith can pull some timeline strings so he can go kill some other version of the fucker to see if it will make him feel slightly better at not being able to prevent the asshole from ever getting his hands on Cloud.

Cloud just shrugs.

Zack supposes that’s the only response to give. What else is there to do with three babies clearly made from Sephiroth’s DNA? Give them back to Shinra for whatever lackeys of Hojo’s that are left alive to poke at and try and turn into the next generation of Shinra Super SOLDIERs?

“Okay.” It’s not like Zack’s gonna’ just leave them for Cloud to deal with alone even if it’s clear the others don’t plan on it either. “I’m not sure what to do with a baby but I’ll be the best uncle around.”

And maybe doing that will relieve him of his guild for everyone he failed.

#Cloud is the remnants carrier #Final Fantasy #Final Fantasy VII #FFVII #Final Fantasy mpreg #mpreg #Final Fantasy Omegaverse #omegaverse #Cloud Strife #zack fair #barret wallace #I accidently a ficlet

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coconutredbulllover · 10 hours

Text

Guys i dont even know what i need to be gatekeeping anymore i js scribbled out some stuff that wasnt even that deep just in case…

anyways to 🫠 anon (still high rn and im locking in to respond to u bae 🤣):

LITERALLYLGTT like you just had to be there 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

ive been loosely following paige and azzis basketball stuff since idk like 2020 and then got more into pazzi stuff during like 2022 and my old blog started in like early ish 2023 and i always felt weird speculating abt real people so i would sometimes tag my posts and sometimes not but i still had a bunch of people there talking w me like a little community and everyone knew like if you were gonna be [self admittedly creepy] (be fr now yall its creepy be self aware!) and analyze stuff they post you might as well be doing on tumblr instead of other actually popular sites and everyone knew like jokes are jokes and dont take anything serious but now its like you say one thing and a new fan could just trust it because they dont know any better but ofc you cant explain every little detail to new comers

so yeah the trajectory of tumvlr has been crazy weird for me too i also used to be a lurker before i started my old blog and it was even less than just a few months ago. js a few months afo if you scrolled thru the pazzi tag you would literallt reach the end pretty fast, easy no problem. on my old blog (rip) whenever i wouldnt use the main tags when posting things (again bc i feel uncomfortable openly weird speculating) i used to instead use like alternate tags that were related but not like the players names and then some mutuals did the same thing and we kinda created our own ‘main tags’ (by main tags i mean like yk ‘uconn wbb’ and ‘paige bueckers’ ‘azzi fudd’).

incase this response is hard to follow im kinda tryna respond to ur paragraph chunks in my own paragrpah chunks (if that makes sense ?) like ur third paragraph is beinf repsonded to in this oargraph now. yeah i honeslty thoguht it was rlly wholesome when people wiped the clip off of like everywhere it rlly was js a iykyk thing and i also started seeing people sharing it and using it in edits. like for example i wrote in one of my earlier posts abt having a tiktok where i would psot like small clips (not edits i cant edit for shit) i thoguht were cute or wtvr but then suddenly the acc blew up w new fans in like late 2023 and it was managable then comments started being upright rude or sharing the clip and i was like damn. the final pushinf point before i deleted the acc was i posted a clip and it peaked 5.5 million views like WHATATAATASA????? and i was like conflicted if i should delete the vid bc it was the same content i always posted but it was slightly out of context and ppl ran with it calling a paige a dyke among other things in the comments (plus the ‘the live’ sharers foudn that post too) AND someone dropped mine and a few others tumblrs in the comments so i js ended up deleted everything of the acc including the vid after 7 days of it being up bc tiktok didnt deserve any of it 😭 and i couldnt keep monitoring comments plus i didnt want the out of context clip spreading.

okay next pargraoh!! I KNOW ITS HELLA WEIRD… like why do u suddenly recognize the person im talking abt? i would occasionally mention it to friends or ppl i know like ‘yeah wbb is rlly poppibg off rn cailin clark paige bukers kmaila cardoso etc are really bringing good attention to the game’ so it was like a casual interest they didnt know i was like actuallt into basketball or anything like that but like it was know like “eri watches basketball and ive heard this persons name come outta her mouth before” kinda like u were saying abt your friend saying they never heard the name come out of any elses name but yours. and then it actually blew up and people were genuinely recognizing the names i was talking about like ‘oh i saw that girl you mentioned before on the news’ like whatchu mean u saw them on the news. it all happened so fast 🤣. no offense to your friends idk if theyre like this it just made me think of straight paige fans so i wanna say a little thing abt it even tho its not related to what u said abt ur friends, peoples reactions to straight fans have a weird line drawn like i think that straight fans are perfectly fine saying paige is hot. heres my explanation: i think sexuality is a spectrum you can be completely striaght and find her hot and thats literally normal like you arent attracted to women like THAT but you can appreciate someone good looking and like their energy and be straight like the kinsey or wtvr scale those typa girls are probs like a 2. i always see like the “im gonna hold your hand when i tell you this” comments and i think theyre funny but not everyone is always a straight girl who genuinely might like women, people can be striaght and find masculine traits or jsut the nergy of someone attractive! insane idea ik.

final bit of the yap sesh! no yeah i totally get u i feel like i always gotta be like ‘proving’ that i know so much and that ive been here a long time as weell but its hard while beibg forced to be a gatekeeper. i honestly have the worst memory so i have no clue if the other time you sent a similar ask couldve been me cause its not the first time ive seen asks like this but it it was we rlly did come full circle and thats be pretry cool LMFAO. lastly never appologize for yapping especially when im literallt the D1 yapper 🤣🙂‍↕️.

if yall made it here sprry for typos also i didnt reread anything i wrote so if something is so grammatically wrong it makes no sense send an ask and ill go edit it 😭

final thoguhts to 🫠 anon and a little bit to readers i hope u send more asks bc this was highkey the most entertaining one ive gotten out of all my asks, in a while, like i get them everyday but its js alot of people asking for context on stuff i post or cautious people letting me know i shoudl delte when ive accidentally shared too much that wouldnt sit well with the newbies 😭 so if u wanna have a convo w someone who knows their shit js run wild in the ask ill censor it or use the emoji i rlly miss talking to people who arent part of the new wave (no offense to yall). like on my old blog i had mutuals with same thoughts as mine and then i used to js silent lurk the other blogs accs to keep my blog a little more seperate from the main tags, but i recebtly started interacting with the people whove been the main ppl posting in the main tags on their blogs (like the person whos name i blurred in your ask who was popular and had a now removed content masterlist like i have access to more complete masterlists but yes i do know of that one it was a pretty popular one bc it was easily accessible and they were postinf lives on yt for people sadly now gone into full cordial mode, their rants were pretty entertaining 😭) and some others who are still tryna keep their blogs going (staying more cordial and stuff js like me) but its like a little weird interacting w them even tho we all pre blowup fans bc theyre like a literal established family (LMFAO. please if yall knwo what im talkign abt LMFAOO) so yeah im like a floater blog rn can yall start sending me normal asks so we can try to be a community like old times 🩵 (pls)

okay time to go smoke some more any smokers out there send me asks 😝

#uconn wbb #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #anon ask #eriyap

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seiya-starsniper · 28 days

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Intros, tags and writing masterpost

Hi there! I'm Seiya, aka starsniper! (she/her) This is my blog for assorted blorbo posting and writing, hope you enjoy your stay 😄 I'm updating this post for 2024, and it's a doozy so most of it will be under a cut! Most of the info is the same, so if you've been here a while, don't fret! If you're new, this post is a pretty good rundown of me and my blog.

Writing Stuff:

AO3 Account: starsniper. You can also read my fics on Google Docs!

I'm also on Discord! The Sadman is a multi-ship open server for the Sandman fandom and it's an amazing community! I've even got my own little author's corner there called Seiya's Sexy Scribbles. Come find me and say hello!

Taking Requests?: I am! Send me anything that crosses your mind, with fandom and ship please!

Transformative Works: Consider this blanket permission to create any type of transformative work based off what I've written! I only ask you let me know what you've created either using the "Inspired By" link on AO3 or tagging me on Tumblr, just because I love, love, love seeing that sort of thing.

Tag Library:

As my blog is multi-fandom, as well as multi-ship, I've made a tag library! The main purpose of this library is so that I can more easily find my tagged posts, but it is also for my followers, who may want to find those same posts, or want to blacklist certain tags and topics present on my blog. Feel free to copy my format if you so desire, it's pretty simple! The library is under the cut, and will be updated a lot in the coming weeks as I wrangle more of my blog into some sense of organization. While the library does not consist of every tag I've ever used (that would be too much!), it does contain what I consider the most important ones.

Lastly, some of the tags will have links, and some will not! Tumblr has a link limit of 100 links per post to control spam posts, so only the tags that are useful for me and others to use as a quick search function will be linked. Tags that are more useful for blacklist purposes will not be linked, however you can still search that tag by typing the below link into your browser: https://www.tumblr.com/seiya-starsniper/tagged/[tag name here]

General Tags:

#seiya talks (all my original posts and ramblings)

#seiya answers (answers out of my ask box! Also includes fic prompt requests)

#seiya gets tagged (for all the tag games!)

#icons by seiya (tumblr icons I've made)

#gifs by seiya (gifs I've made)

#ask game (posts with ask games I reblog. send me an ask on anything you'd like!)

#original art (non-fandom art)

General Fandom Tags:

Note: Some of these tags are more active than others, this list is mainly for my own indexing, and not indicative of how active I am in a certain fandom. A lot posts under these tags will consist of reblogs unless tagged with one of my personal tags.

#the sandman

#dungeon meshi

#dndhat (dungeons & dragons: honor among thieves)

#loki (general loki tag, use #loki tv for only the tv series)

#ofmd (our flag means death)

#bnha (sometimes #my hero academia)

#yugioh (sometimes #ygo)

#fullmetal alchemist (sometimes #fma)

#gossip girl

#blue eye samurai

#interview with the vampire (sometimes #iwtv)

#ao3 (posts about AO3, mostly memes, but may include discourse)

Current Projects/WIPs tags:

#set the night on fire wip

#omegaverse forced marriage wip

#morphienne hell invasion wip

#dreamling memory loss wip

#hobrinthian: hob gets the skull au

#dreamling omegaverse regency wip sequel

General Writing tags:

#writing prompt games (send me a writing prompt from these posts! no post is too old to pick from 😄)

#seiya writes (all of my writing, across all fandoms)

#seiya drabbles (short fics/ask requests, usually under 1.5k words)

#seiya's wip previews (for snippets and previews on what I'm working on)

#wip inspo (things that might turn into fics! feel free to bother me about any of the ones that interest you!)

Sandman Fandom specific writing tags:

#seiya writes dreamling (dream x hob)

#seiya writes corintheus (dream x corinthian)

#seiya writes hobrinthian (hob x corinthian)

#seiya writes corinthienne (corinthian x lucienne)

#seiya writes gaulcienne (gault x lucienne)

#seiya writes hellmuse (johanna x calliope)

#seiya writes dreamuse (dream x calliope)

#seiya writes morphienne (dream x lucienne)

#seiya writes constantdream (dream x johanna)

#seiya writes sandflower (dream x nuala)

Past Writing Events & Challenges I've written for:

Note: these are links to specific masterposts, as well as tagged posts

Seiya's Monsterfucktober Bingo Fills

Sandman Femslash Weekend

Dreamling Bingo Masterpost

Smut May (Smay) Drabble Masterpost (multi-ship)

Smut April (Smapril) Drabble Masterpost (multi-ship)

Smut March (Smurch) Drabble Masterpost (multi-ship)

Centennial Husbands Big Bang

Sandman Fandom Tags:

Note: Because of the sheer volume of dreamling content, I've broken content for the ship out into multiple tags. I've also kept dreamling content entirely out of the #sandman fanart tag as well due to having followers who do not ship dreamling. Other non-dreamling ships may be included in that tag as a result, though those posts will use the appropriate ship tag as well. The same goes for #sandman fic rec as a catch all for non-dreamling fanfic, as well as gen fic.

#sandman fanart

#sandman fic rec

#sandman comics spoilers (anything not covered in season 1 of the Netflix adaptation)

#sandman s2 spoilers (anything related to the filming of Season 2, and Season 2 content when it airs!)

Dreamling Tags:

#dreamling fic rec (dreamling stories I've read and loved!)

#dreamling headcanon (dreamling fanfic adjacent posts)

#dreamling fanart (fanart that I love!)

Other Sandman Ships Tags:

#hobrinthian (hob x corinthian)

#corintheus (dream x corinthian)

#hellmuse (johanna x calliope)

#gaulcienne (gault x lucienne)

#corinthienne (corinthian x lucienne)

#calliene (calliope x lucienne)

#morphienne (dream x lucienne)

#constantdream (dream x johanna)

Other Fandom Shipping Tags:

Note: Same deal as the general fandom tags, some of these are more active than others, and will mostly be reblogs moreso than original content. This section is entirely self-indulgent for me, but also gives others a good idea as to what I ship. I'm very ship and let ship these days, so please don't try to debate me on ships, I won't answer.

#00Q

#taimizu

#xedgin

#thorki

#lokius

#steelatom

#atomwave

Fandom Discourse Tags:

Note: I don't like to participate in discourse, please don't tag me in it. Any past discussions I've been involved in have been resolved between myself and the parties that matter to me. That said, I will occasionally reblog discussions others may prefer not to see, so the below tags are for your convenience. I have these tags linked for my own archiving purposes.

#sandman discourse

#sandman critique

#fandom racism

#fandom discourse

#fandom wank

#ao3 discourse

Content Warning, Squicks and Trigger Tags:

Note: Posts with these tags will include informational/educational posts as well, just to keep things neatly organized. Since this list will inevitably get longer, I will not link any of these tags, but please feel free to blacklist them. I will do my best to try to tag more sensitive topics and also go back and tag older posts but it may take a while! Please let me know if I missed anything.

#nsft (general explicit content tag, if you wanted to avoid all of it)

#bugs (happy to tag a more specific bug)

#spiders

#snakes/#snek

#omegaverse

#pregnancy/#pregnancy kink

#dubcon

#noncon

#infidelity

#age gap

#animal hybrid (all animal hybrids here: centaur, naga, merfolk, minotaur, etc)

#tentacle sex

#interspecies (i.e: human/alien, human/centaur, etc)

#monsterfucker/#monsterfucking (usually also covered by interspecies)

#teacher/student

#racism

#misogyny

#transphobia

Politics tags:

#us politics

#global politics

#palestine

#voting

As a reminder, this post is a live document and will be updated as I find time to do so or, if I think of new tags I want to track and add to this post. I am happy to add additional tags if you reach out to me via DM or via non-anonymous ask. While I do have anon asks on for other purposes, since tagging is a sensitive subject, I will NOT answer anon requests for tags on my blog. If you are concerned about sending an ask from your main blog vs side-blog, Tumblr does let you send DMs from a side-blog, and I'd be happy to talk to you from there. Thanks for understanding!

#seiya talks #new pinned post!#tag masterpost #writing masterpost #some of these tags are new/reworked tags! please be patient as I reorganize my entire blog lmao

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69ottersinatrenchcoat · 4 months

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Let's talk SH

Content Warning. Major Discussions of S*lf H*rm mostly the context of alternatives (descriptions kept to a minimum). Please be mindful of your own triggers, and read at your own pace, look after yourselves, that kind of thing. Please. 💜

Many of my councillors, therapists, and psychologists have told me to 'just do it in red pen' instead of doing it with a blade, this is a great idea. If and only if, you have broken the original desire for pain. We really want to be finding options that distract our brains rather than giving them time to ruminate.

So let's jump right into some of our most effective alternative options.

(Please be aware, we do not condone starting to SH if you can avoid it, there are better options. This list is intended for those of us who already have issues with SH)

If you're struggling, please reach out.

Global Suicide Hotlines: https://faq.whatsapp.com/1417269125743673

https://www.depression.org.nz/

distraction based solutions

Make a playlist. Jump into Spotify, Apple Music, YT music, burn a CD, just Collect Music That Fits Your Feelings in the moment.

Crack open that recorder you haven't touched since your first year of school, bang on the pots and pans... make a racket, scream to the heavens.

I mean in this in 100% seriousness: if you have a video game that you like, play it. No ones care if you're playing Roblox, blowing up TNT in Minecraft (extremely satisfying), stealing cars in GTA, whacking up a storm in Wii Sports Resort Swordfighting, playing Fireboy & Watergirl on CoolMathGames, solving puzzles in the Legend of Zelda, do the wordle, code something on Scratch, or playing some random game you installed yesterday; get your brain busy and get it occupied. Especially if you can beat up on something (mass murdering bokoblins in LoZ AoC, anyone?)

Play with the ✨bored button✨ https://www.boredbutton.com/

Video games not your thing? How about Sodoku? Solitaire? Word find?

Read a book

Call or text a friend. Easier said than done, especially if you feel like you're burdening them, but this can really help. You don't even have to talk to them about what you're going through. Ring up your local autistic or ADHD friend; ask them about their current hyperfixation, by the time they're done, there's a good chance you'll have forgotten everything.

Find a new research topic. Open Wikipedia to a random page (just type "Special:Random" in the general search box or click that link), spend the next several hours learning about it and following all the hyperlinks.

Get your body moving, YouTube workouts can be great for this if you're confined.

some kind of pain w/o pain

Make a character. Write about them. Hurt them. Put them through hell and back again. Write someone else's pain. Even if your character is hurting themselves, it's better than hurting you. Even if it's absolutely terrible writing. We're not looking for the next best-selling novel here (most likely no one else will even see it), we're only looking for someway for you to externalise your hurt.

Find a book or fan fiction. There are plenty of books out there with scenes where someone's in pain. Alternatively, jump onto A03, find a fandom you like, pop 's*lf h*rm' into the tags, most fandoms there's at least one. (Please be mindful of trigger warnings here and whether seeing characters in pain makes it worse).

Write out every single reason you want to hurt yourself on your skin. Leave it until the urge dies down. Wash it off.

Run a blunt object over your hands. I find thumb stones super helpful. Fidget with a fidget toy, keep your hands busy.

If you can sing, sing. Scream in the shower.

Paint, draw, colour. Scribble everywhere. D r a w. Draw an arm, and draw yourself bleeding if it helps.

Write terrible poetry. This is the main thing that's helped me.

pain without injury (not ideal)

rubber band around your wrist, snap it a lot.

suck on an ice cube

eat something super sour (or super spicy!)

run something pointed (not sharp) against your skin

draw on yourself with henna, or make up

speaking of, SFX wounds made of makeup? amazing.

have a very hot, or absolutely freezing shower

If you're up to figuring out why you want to hurt, sometimes this can help too. And ofc, I always suggest journalling out your thoughts.

And here's a website with some more

https://projectlets.org/alternatives-to-selfharm

Please add your own suggestions in the comments! I'd love to hear what helps

Genuinely, the main goal here is to keep your body unhurt in someway. Stay safe out there <3

We needed somewhere to collect viable self harm alternatives because yk, mental illness is as mental illness does.

#self h@rm #self h@rm alternatives #mental health #mental illness #depression #anxiety #actually mentally ill #mentally fucked #triggering content #if this helps #even one person #i'll be happy #depression sucks #sh #mentally unwell #bpd #did #did osdd #posted by 🔥

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i-can-even-burn-salad · 1 year

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Elli's Scribblings

Welcome!

This is my cozy little corner of this hellsite. Make yourself at home, have a look around, ignore the blood, that’s just... uh, anyway. Here you’ll find posts with a focus on writing and fictional suffering, but this is a main blog, so there will be a sprinkle of memes, queer stuff and everything else I feel like putting here.

An overview of my (published) writing is below the cut, more about me and my tags can be found on my about page.

My website where you can find most of my novels in free ebook/pdf format My ko-fi where you can support me if you like what you read

@elli-scribbles - all my original writing that was posted here @iridium-quality-salad - my video game side blog @cant-burn-the-ice-cream - random stuff (untagged; mostly cute things and memes that have no image descriptions)

About Me

Adult, at least on paper.

I curse quite a lot. Sorry (but not really).

I like tag games, but I have the attention span of a common house fly. Also sor— oh look a butterfly.

I run a queue, but I’m not tagging it. Good luck figuring out my sleep schedule.

Stuck between being a whump blog and a writing blog.

Fantasy books and video games are everything.

I will not reblog posts where important information isn't accessible, i.e. undescribed images or weird/small/colorful fonts.

English is not my first language.

My Stories

📖 General

Despite the focus on horrible things, my endings are too happy for dark fantasy, and despite the focus on relationships, I'm too ace for mainstream romance. This post contains extremely detailed (and extremely spoilery) content warnings for all stories that were posted here. All are set in the same universe, have a happy end, and are listed in chronological order below. My personal preferred reading order for Damien's and Merridy's story is Undeserved > Glass Shards > Nuisance > Fancy Boots.

🌿 Thorns and Jasmine

Synopsis: Healer Caldyn gets kidnapped and tortured by bad guys who want to claim his soul, and with it his unique magic. By the time he is saved, it is almost too late. Length: 150k words / finished Vibes: non-human / captivity, torture and recovery / old and new trauma / mostly whump Links: Masterlist

🌺 Twisted Thorns

Synopsis: Blinded and traumatized, Caldyn leaves his home, hoping the distance will allow him to regain control over his magic. But no matter how far he goes, he cannot outrun his past. Length: 98k / finished (eternally editing) Vibes: blind main char pov / dark magic / humans are the weird ones Links: WIP Intro

🪙 Nuisance

Synopsis: When Merridy is saved by the city’s most infamous criminal, she’s sure her life is over. Meanwhile, Cedric just wants to have his peace back. Set about 5 years before Glass Shards. Length: 48k words / finished Vibes: reluctant caretaker / misunderstandings / gay husbands / found family Links: WIP Intro | Masterlist | Ebook

🍬 Sweet Little Lies

Synopsis: When Laurent hides from the guards in a candy store, he falls in love with the owner. Despite his dislike for candy, he can't stay away. Standalone, set right after Nuisance. Length: 37k words / editing Vibes: blind main char pov / colorful glass jars / bloody handprints / dancing slowly at a grand ball Links: WIP Intro

☕ Second Chances

Synopsis: Valadan finds the love of his life, almost gets her killed, and then spends a summer making dick jokes instead of admitting his feelings. Standalone. Length: 46k words / finished Vibes: annoyances to friends to lovers / sword training (flirting) / lots of angst / perfect coffee Links: Masterlist | Ebook

⛓️ Undeserved

Synopsis: Trying to assassinate an ambassador, Damien gets caught and is made to pay for his crimes. The story of how he fucked up his life, told in three different timelines. Length: 47k words / finished Vibes: all hurt no comfort / dungeons ❤ / from bad to worse / shattered glass Links: Masterlist | Ebook

💜 Glass Shards

Synopsis: Merridy saves Damien from certain death. Leaving her life of thievery behind to make sure he recovers might turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to her. Length: 135k + words / finished Vibes: hurt/comfort / please don’t leave / quiet inn rooms / qpr ace love story Links: WIP Intro | Masterlist

👢 Fancy Boots

Synopsis: A familiar face shows up, disturbs Merry’s and Damien’s peaceful life, invites himself to dinner, and refuses to leave. Set about 2-3 years after Glass Shards. Length: 46k words / finished Vibes: enemies to friends, kinda / trauma / found family / homemade food Links: Masterlist | Ebook (part of Undeserved*) *Glass Shards is set in between Undeserved and Fancy Boots, but I decided to release them together due to recurring themes and characters.

🔔 Till Death

Synopsis: When wandering healer Finnian loses a patient, he is attacked and left for dead in the forest. Hermit Eilis finds him and nurses him back to health. Standalone. Length: 110k words / finished Vibes: falling leaves / so much torture / unreliable magic / self-sacrifice Links: WIP Intro | Ebook

🌈 Other Stories

Everything else that doesn’t fit one of the main story arcs, like background stories of side characters. Gwyneth: Hold On | Rescued The story of how Gwyneth met Raindrop The Rose A short fairy tale based on Beauty and the Beast April 1st I'm so sorry if you see what I did here

If you've made it to the end - have a cookie 🍪

#time for a new pinned post #because I 100% trust them to fuck up the old post editor in May (:#masterlist #lets see if I can keep fucking randos out of my “more like this”#Glass Shards #Nuisance #Heal my Wounds #Undeserved #Fancy Boots #Thorns and Jasmine #Second Chances #wip: Till Death #wip: Lies

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emeraldgreaves · 8 months

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rules: shuffle your 'on repeat' playlist and post the first ten tracks, then tag ten people!

tagged by @theresa-of-liechtenstein!! (via my main @dreamofpeppermints but i mostly do games from here lol). i have not been using spotify much at all lately so let’s see what happens.

real estate by adam melchor

hœrgüpjelly kisses by jazz emu (LMAO)

through me (the flood) by hozier

human by dodie & tom walker

de selby (part 2) by hozier

francesca by hozier

30/90 by andrew garfield & the cast of tick tick boom

eat your young by hozier

carolina by taylor swift

bad idea right? by olivia rodrigo (?? i’ve only listened to this song twice)

my takeaways from this are that i have listened to unreal unearth a lot.

tagging: @bi-stander @jae-gerbomb @thenightdayblogger @euelios @queen-scribbles @morning-star-joy @feykiller and opentagging the last 3.

#emerald speaks #absolutely screaming at the jazz emu song being the second one #for context: my husband thinks it’s funny. and my phone can autoconnect to the bluetooth of his car if it’s sufficiently close #sufficiently close being every time he pulls into the garage below our apartment LMAO #so sometimes i put on the song on my phone and blast him with it unexpectedly #tag meme

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dizzybizz · 4 months

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pinned post time!!

hello hello welcome to my humble abode

you may call me dizzy, i'm autistic and trans, my pronouns are he/him, i am 17 years old (turning 18 this year, wish me luck) i'm swedish..

i draw and that's really about it, i am also very normal about my interests (run while you can).

some organizational tags:

my art is very creatively tagged with #my art

little scribbles are tagged with #doodle

sona tag

any non-fanart art or stupid textposts i thought of is #dizzyoriginals

i have an oc tag tho its kinda barren

reblogs is #rb

sometimes i manage to remember to tag friend art

any polls are under #polls

i sometimes post about my pets (4 cats and 2 dogs) under #mylittleguys <333

sometimes im really inconsistent about my tagging tho ngl ,,sorry

here is a sideblog for my SDV farmers: @guyandremy

i jump around fandoms a lot, my fingers are in a lot of pies but at the moment my main ones are:

witch hat atelier (<- literally my fav manga)

drawfee/drawtectives (<- literally my fav youtube channel and youtube series)

and most recently the great ace attorney (<- i bought this game as a holiday treat for myself and i have been so sane while playing i swear.)

STARRDEW AVELLRY RAGSHHGGH

i try to tag my posts properly in terms of content warnings and all, please do reach out if there's anything you feel i have missed. my dms and inbox are open!!

you are also free to send whatever silly stuff you want in my inbox, any questions and art requests, whatever you feel like really.

ok yay!! i think that's about it, "love and peace" as mr vash the stampede so succinctly put it.

(last edited: 24-3-2024)

#idk how i wanted to structure this #or what to put so uhh #LOOK AT ME GO WITH THE INTRO POST ?? only took so so so many months and over an hour of my time #writing the first part gave me flashbacks to when you'd go around and everyone would introduce themselves to the class #i will add a lil last edited thing at the bottom when.... once- i edit this

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hopeless-studious · 10 months

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Thursday, July 13th, 2023 ✧༚* °.

Hello! I'm changing the format of my daily journals a little, the content will be the same as before. Except for the time being I'd like to change my to-do list to a "Done Today" list as I don't want to plan things strictly for a while as I rest after an extensive exam season~ In other news, my book is here and I will start tomorrow! I spent most of today laying around and catching up on some abandoned projects and hobbies!

✧ Done Today ✧

Self care! I took a long bath and put on some face masks >:3

ST projects! I had been on leave from staff work since 10 days ago as things had gotten more hectic but I'm getting back to working on things again.

Games! I played Siiiiims! I had missed my main family so much! one of my sims accidentally got pregnant and they also adopted a floofy catto.

Sketching! Just some simple-absent-minded-stuff scribbled on paper but good enough!

I need to text my friends cause I abandoned my social life for a while there and need to go say sorry and stuff now. damn. Also I'm gonna order some food rn cause I am starving and there's nothing here twt Today I listened to "Waterfalls" by "Cécile Corbel" a bunch. This song is the type of song you'd dance to in the middle of a field.

✧ Footnote: I think I wont tag my daily journals as studyblr for a while since there's less studying but I mean I'm still relatively productive!

#HS Daily Journal ✧༚* °. ˚#daily journal #digital diary #it ends with us #colleen hoover #bookstagram #studygram #bookblr #reading #academia aesthetic #studyblr #study blog #aestethic #classic academia #Spotify

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